#but a lot of other stuff fits into this as well ie 'blessed be'

[exoflash]

a concerning amount of witchblr will be like "um actually new years was stolen by europeans from the ancient god scroobus mcdoobus" and then you actually try to research scroobus mcdoobus and it turns out he was invented in the 1940s by a conspiracy theorist who powdered every meal with ketamine and thinks that queer people are reincarnated fish

[nalgenewhore]

ends of the earth

elide x lorcan, modern au/band au (catfish and the bottlemen), light angst with a happy ending, word count: 5197

He’d been called to place five minutes ago, but Lorcan was still in the dressing room, his phone tight in his grasp. 

Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. 

“Hey, it’s Elide, leave a message!”

Gods-damn it. 

He clenched his jaw as the automated voice told him to speak after the beep, his knee bouncing up and down. Stealing one last glance at the door, like someone would burst through it and drag him away before he could say what he needed to, Lorcan waited anxiously. 

Beep.

“Hey, Lee, it’s me. I, um, I don’t have that long ‘cause I was supposed to be in my place… five minutes ago, but I just wanted to say that…” Lorcan trailed, narrowing his eyes as he tried to order his thoughts. “I’m sorry that I’ve been gone so long.” His knee bounced again, uncontrollably. “I really miss you. Just call me back, please. I love you, sweetheart. Forever.”

With that, Lorcan hung up and shoved his phone into his bag before standing and grabbing his electric guitar from its velvet-lined case. He didn’t let any of the attendants touch it, or anyone else – besides Elide – for that matter. 

He carried it out of the room with him, ducking his head as he moved through the backstage area to the left wing of the stage, where the rest of his band was waiting. Fenrys saw him first and clapped his hands together slowly, drawling, “Well, boys, aren’t we blessed? Our—”

“Can you not? For one fucking day?” Lorcan snapped, not having any of the energy he usually had to deal with his drummer’s mouth. Fenrys’ eyes widened and he all but froze, shocked by Lorcan’s response. The others quieted as well, all looking at Lorcan. He scowled and slipped the strap of his instrument over his head, tersely adjusting it so that it hung low over his hips. 

When his bandmates were all still silent, he looked up, shame flooding through. “Fen, I’m- I’m sorry. It was just… stuff with ‘lide.”

“‘s’ok,” Fenrys said, shrugging. He grinned wildly, “I was being a shit.”

Lorcan nodded once in thanks or acknowledgement of Fenrys’ unsaid forgiveness, he wasn’t sure which it was. He sat down on some ledge, mindlessly tuning his guitar as they waited for the opening band to wrap their set up so that they could play.

Someone sat down next to him. Without looking, Lorcan knew that it was Rowan. The bassist was the most level-headed of them all and the only one with enough emotional maturity to talk to Lorcan about the growing issues between him and his girl. Rowan bumped his shoulder into Lorcan’s. “You, ah… feel like… talking ‘bout it?”

Lorcan snorted and chuckled lowly, “You know, not even a ‘lil bit, Ro.” He lifted his head and rolled his eyes at Rowan’s pointed look. “Hellas below, man, it’s just… we aren’t breaking up.” Neither of them wanted that, that Lorcan knew. “The touring’s a lot for both of us. It’s a lot for all of us,” he added, glancing at the rest of the band, who were all lazing on their behinds. 

Rowan nodded, “Yeah. It is.” His shoulders slumped, straining against his loose cotton shirt, which was only three-quarters of the way buttoned. “You know that if you need to talk, I’m here, right?”

The lead singer just barely managed to stop his second eye-roll and nodded, lips tight. “Mm-hm. I know.”

Luckily, just then, the backstage lights flashed and Lorcan was spared from further needling. Someone came by as their opening band filed off of the stage, looking high off the ecstasy that was performing in front of a live crowd, and handed Lorcan, Rowan, Vaughan, Fenrys, and Connall their earpieces. 

Lorcan fit his in his left ear, as he had a new double conch piercing in the right, and tucked his necklace beneath the collar of his faded t-shirt. It was a simple piece of jewellery, the only one he never took off. The chain was gold and from it dangled a viper pendant, twin to the same piece that hung from Elide’s slim throat. 

Fenrys and Connall were the first to walk on, one to the drumset and the other to the keyboard. They shouted back at the crowd, always ones to rile them up and feed off of the crowd’s energy. 

Next was Vaughan, the backup guitarist, who wore a prideful smirk, his dark eyes scanning seductively over the mass of fans. Lorcan shook his head at his cousin and Rowan strolled out, plucking absentmindedly at his bass. He waved after he found his position behind one of the three microphones. Vaughan was behind the other, playing a riff on his guitar, his fingers sliding up and down the fretboard.

Lorcan waited a moment more, his eyes closed for a fleeting second. When he opened them, he stepped out, the lights immediately blinding and heavy on him. The cheers and screams from the sea of people were deafening, but he was used to it. 

He put on a golden grin, one corner of his lips higher than the other. Elide always liked to kiss him when he was smiling like this, pressing her round and sweet lips against the corner, her fingertips resting on his jawline. 

The smile faltered for a second. The very next, it was as though he’d glitched, pasting that same smile back on. Lorcan lifted one hand to pull the microphone closer to him, “Evening, Varese. How we all doing? Good?” They roared back and he chuckled, nodding his head, “Alright, alright, no need to scream and shout. That’s our job.” Lorcan glanced at the boys one by one, nodding when they nodded at him. 

“Let’s kick it!” Fenrys shouted, tapping his drumsticks together before he launched into song. 

Lorcan heard the music in his earpiece and played his guitar as he began to sing, “You’re simpatico… and of all the lift-homes and all the mixed feelings, you’re cuts above…”

He knew that the crowd was singing along, but he couldn’t discern the lyrics that ripped from their throats. 

“And I’d co-o-o-me… you can leather me with your li-i-i-ips…” 

Fenrys slammed down against his drums and Lorcan sang roughly into the mic, his eyes closed, “I’ve got to give it to you – you give me problems! When you are not in the mood…”

One song bled into the next and into the next until they reached the track they hadn’t put on the album. Lorcan had written it days ago, when they’d been flying to the next city. The minute they’d touched down, the whole band was asking their manager to take them to the nearest studio to record and perfect it. 

Unlike their other songs, this one was Lorcan’s only. Only he had written the lyrics, only he had figured out the chords. The boys had just known how badly he needed this, so they’d agreed without question, without hesitation. 

“This next song’s…” Lorcan started, his heart thumping against his ribcage, “about a very, very special girl. My favourite girl in the whole world, really.” And I hope she hears this. He looked back at the others and nodded, his lips set in a grim line.

He plucked at his guitar, leaning into the mic, “I got misled, mistook, discard… anything that I said. See, I’m not the type to call you up drunk, but I got some lies to tell.”

Fenrys joined in gently, as did Connall. Still, it was only Lorcan who sang, “She hates her work, but loves to flirt.” When he’d first met Elide, they’d both been working at the same recording studio. People had told him she flirted with everyone, so he hadn’t known that she was even interested until one night she’d taken his face in her hands and kissed him in plain sight of all their coworkers, flipping them off as she did so. “It’s a shame she don’t work with me.

“She gets uptight, don’t like when I’m gone, but she won’t let on to me,” he continued, hating the fact that Elide was pulling away from him and hating the fact that he didn’t know how deeply his absence affected her. 

Lorcan stepped back as they played up to the chorus, playing a little harder and letting a little more grunge bleed into the notes. He moved back to the mic, singing louder as the rest of the band started to play, “I said I’m only looking out for you, she said it’s obvious that’s a li-i-ie… I only ever put out for you, you know it’s obvious you don’t try.”

He didn’t hear the cheers of the crowd, ignored them as they shouted his name and screamed. This wasn’t for them – it was for Elide. All Lorcan could do was play hard enough so that maybe she could hear, never mind that she was an ocean away. 

Lorcan let go of his guitar, letting Vaughan take the lead when he took the mic, “I got mistook and took dissent, and it’s not as if you didn’t no-otice.” He leaned forward, “But I try to steer you clear of this place and I wound up with nothing to show for it!”

He stood up again, pushing his guitar around his back, “You never got that from me. She said you never got that from me, she said you never got that from me… 

“Oh, but I said you got that look from me-e,” his throat felt raw. With the speakers behind him, Lorcan could hardly hear himself. As the song built back up to the chorus, Lorcan took his guitar back in hand and strummed aggressively, his head moving back and forth with the beat. 

“I said I’m only looking out for you, she said it’s obvious that’s a li-i-ie, I only ever put out for you, you know it’s obvious you don’t try.” Lorcan inhaled sharply, “I said I’m only looking out for you, she said it’s obvious that’s a li-i-ie, I only ever put out for you, you know it’s obvious you don’t try!”

He walked backwards a few paces for his guitar solo, only looking at the ‘E’ carved into his instrument, right where the neck connected to the body. Tears burned his eyes and Lorcan blinked them away, tensing his jaw. 

Then, he pulled the microphone towards him and let go of his instrument. As he sang the last lines, one hand pushed his long hair back, “I got misled, mistook, discard… anything that I said. See, I’m not the type to call you up drunk, but I’ve got some lies to tell…”

<3<3<3

Elide bit her thumbnail as the phone line droned on. Her hands shook and she paced back and forth in front of their living room window. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Please, please, please pick up. 

She’d watched Lorcan’s show through a livestream from somebody in the crowd. It’d been shaky and grainy, the audio blown, but she’d heard the song and more importantly, what Lorcan had said before it.

The line clicked, “Sweetheart?”

“Hi,” she breathed, her voice airy. Elide cleared her throat, “H-hi. It’s me.”

Lorcan chuckled. He sounded almost… relieved. “I know, I just- I just didn’t… know if you were going to call.” 

Her heart sank slightly and she opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. Elide knew that there was a… there was a rift between them and she hadn’t made it easy for him to fix it. He doesn’t make it easy to love him, either. “I watched your show, baby. That new song…” she trailed off, not sure how to force the words out. 

“Did… do you not like it?” he asked, sounding nervous. 

“No! No, I loved it,” Elide said, sinking onto the windowsill and lifting her foot to rest her heel against the ledge. The hem of her boyfriend’s shirt bunched around the tops of her thighs and she fingered the holes dotting the edge. “It was great, Lor, really.” Elide looked down, her cheeks heating despite the fact that she was alone and he couldn’t see her. “Is it about me?”

“Lee… everything I write is about you,” he mumbled. “It’s all for you. I- I…” Lorcan exhaled. “Just give me a minute, won’t you? I can move somewhere else and we can FaceTime?”

She grinned and nodded, “Yeah, I’d like that. I miss seeing your face.”

“I miss seeing you too,” Lorcan murmured. “Ok, I’ll call you back, alright?”

“Ok. And I love you too. Always.” 

Lorcan clicked his tongue lightly, teasingly saying, “You’re such a sap.”

Elide rolled her eyes, “Good-bye.”

He was laughing as he hung up and Elide got to her feet, prancing over to their bedroom. It was late and she knew she most likely fall asleep while talking to him. It had been hard to sleep without him next to her. 

Elide had just settled in when her phone rang again, this time with a FaceTime call from Lorcan. She pressed the green icon and grinned at her screen as the call connected, her boyfriend’s face coming into focus, even if it was a little grainy. “Hi, baby.”

Lorcan’s smile was lopsided, her favourite smile of his. “Hey, sweetheart.” He was in his hotel bed, one hand tucked behind him, his head cradled by his tattoo-covered bicep. “How’re ya doing?”

“I’m ok,” she said, propping her phone against the headboard and cushioning her chin with a fluffy pillow. “I went to the studio today and worked on a new song.”

“Really? D’you reckon it’s any good?”

Elide shrugged, “Not sure yet. It doesn’t have that… it doesn’t have that thing, you know?”

Lorcan nodded, “Yeah, I know.”

For a moment, neither of them knew what to say, so they didn’t say anything. 

Then, they both opened their mouths to talk at the same time. “I wanted to—” “We should– oh, you- you can go.”

Elide nodded, trying to summon courage she wasn’t sure that she had. “I’m… I wanted to talk. About you being gone.” Lorcan dipped his chin, his face grave as he encouraged her on. Tears sprung in her eyes and she whispered, “I miss you. Everything, everything comes back to that. I miss you. Whenever I’m angry at you, it’s ‘cause you’re not here and I- I just get more and more mad at that.” She wiped her cheeks and looked down at her hands, flicking her eyes to her bitten nails. “I’m biting my nails again.”

“You hate biting your nails,” Lorcan said softly, his eyes reflecting deep sorrow. “And-” he shifted, sitting up. “I know. I know that I’m gone too much. I know that- that I’m never there.” He frowned. “I want to come home, sweetheart, I want to be with you, I promise. I’m- I’m so tired of touring.” Lorcan rubbed his eyes. “Um… I talked to the boys. We’re… we don’t want to tour anymore. We’re just done.”

She gasped softly, her vision blurring. In a whisper, Elide told him: “Don’t say that if you don’t m-mean it.” 

“Lee, of course I mean that. You really think I would…”

Elide shrugged, “I feel like I don’t know you, L. You’re... you aren’t Lorcan, you’re,” she did a dramatic hand gesture, “Lorcan Salvaterre, lead heartthrob of the Bloodsworn. And I still think that name is far too reminiscent of teenaged angst.”

He snorted and closed his yawns, rubbing his head against the crinkling crisp pillow. “Yeah… probably right about that one, love.” Lorcan sighed through his nose and slit his eyes open, “I know we aren’t finished with this.” 

She nodded, fiddling with something. “Lor…” her lips trembled. “Your tour is done in a month.”

“I know,” he muttered. “But, we- we can make it. Can’t we? I mean, I’ve already written the sad song where I’m the shit boyfriend, right? We can- we can talk.” Lorcan pushed his silky hair back. 

“Yeah. I’m just sad. I… I’m scared that I’ll feel like this again and we’ll never make up again. What happens then?”

Lorcan ran his tongue over his teeth and the muscles in his jaw feathered, “Lee, I… do you want to break up? Is that what you want?”

The words hit her like a blow and Elide physically recoiled, “No, of course that’s not what I want!” She made a helpless motion with her hands, “But what if that’s not enough? What if the fact that we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together isn’t enough?” Her throat was tight, so she swallowed past it, “I… I’m scared.”

“So am I,” Lorcan said. “We want the same things, I just… I think that’s enough. Can’t that be enough?”

She shrugged and looked down at her lap, picking at the pillow case. “Maybe it is. I guess- well, not guess, but… maybe that’s all that matters, right?”

“Right,” he nodded, the ghost of a smile flitting across his lips. Elide smiled back at him, her heart fluttering. 

They spoke for a while more until their voices became drowsy and heavy with slumber. Elide pulled the duvet over her and snuggled her cheek against the pillow that smelled most like his cologne. Her eyes slipped shut and she struggled to open them again, only for them to fall shut again. 

Lorcan laughed softly, “Sweetheart, go to sleep. You’re falling asleep.”

She sighed softly and hummed, “No, ‘m not. ‘m just… resting, baby.”

“Oh, is that what you’re doing, hmm?” he teased, his smile easy and warm. 

Elide nodded, “Yeah…” She pursed her lips and exhaled a puff of air, pulling the duvet up tighter. “Mmm… g’night, Salvaterre.”

“Sweet dreams, Lochan.” 

Mere seconds later, Elide fell asleep. When she woke up in the middle of the night, her phone was still in her hand and she smiled at the screen, where the call was still happening and she could see her boyfriend sleeping like the dead. She took a screenshot and texted it to him. 

sweetheart: Sent One (1) Photo Attachment 

sweetheart: ur kinda cute or whatever. i think im kinda in luv with u. 

Then, she fell asleep once more, waking up in the morning to a screenshot he’d sent of her. 

salvaterre: Sent One (1) Photo Attachment

salvaterre: i know im completely in love with you

<3<3<3

“Lorcan!” called their manager’s assistant, Luca, as he held Lorcan’s phone up. “Someone’s calling you!”

Their rehearsal, if it could even be called that, paused. Fenrys was working on his drum tricks, but Lorcan wasn’t sure that him attempting to play while Vaughan and Connall threw extra drumsticks at his set could be considered working.  

Lorcan nodded and put his guitar down, loping across the room. When he was close enough, he saw that it was Elide and reached out, “Thanks, man.” Luca nodded, his curls bouncing. Lorcan picked up the call and ducked out of the rehearsal room, lifting his phone to his ear, “Hey, you.”

“Hi,” she replied. “I just wanted to check in. Luca told me you guys were rehearsing.”

He snorted and walked down the dark hallway, “Rehearsing’s a bit generous, Lee. Ro is hungover and Vaughan and Connall are throwing drumsticks at Fen.”

A bright laugh bubbled from her lips. “Gods, I don’t know why I believed Luca. That boy is too kind.”

“He really is, I don’t know why he wants to work for us bastards.”

Elide hummed, “Yeah, I don’t know either. You guys aren’t that nice.”

Lorcan found a forgotten corner and sat down, his long legs splayed out before him. “We really aren’t.” He looked at his worn Chuck Taylors, the laces frayed. “How’re you?”

“Well… I’m good. I, um, I booked a gig.”

“You did? Lee, that’s amazing,” he said, sitting up straighter. “When’d you book it?”

She hesitated to answer, “...three weeks ago. I… I don’t know why I didn’t tell you but… yeah.”

Lorcan shook his head, “No, no, it’s fine. Are you excited? You haven’t played anywhere in a… long time, love.” When his band had started playing, Elide had played too, appearing in local bars and a few festivals. Then she’d stopped. She still wrote songs and recorded them, but nothing was released. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m feeling good. I’m excited,” Elide told him. “Really, I am.”

“But…” 

There was something she wasn’t saying. 

Her swallow was audible and her voice was quiet when she spoke again, “It’s- it’s next week. And I want you to come, but you can’t. I know that.”

His heart stutterd to a stop. Lorcan opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. “I- um, I’m- I’m sorry. That I won’t be there. I wish I could be.”

She laughed, but the sound was forced, “Lor, I don’t want your apology. You’ve already apologised and… it’s just something that is. The facts are that I have a gig, I want you to be there to see, but you’re on tour. And this- it’s your dream, isn’t it?”

You’re my dream, he thought. Lorcan flicked his eyes upwards, lying through his teeth, “Yeah. Yeah, this… this is my dream. I’m touring the world and sharing my music with everyone. I never thought I’d be here.” And you were supposed to be right here with me. 

“Exactly, so, I’ll play more gigs. You’ll see them. It’s not like this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you know,” Elide joked. “You- you don’t have to worry about this one show, Lor.”

“Yeah…” he said, frowning slightly. Lorcan inhaled, “Listen, I’ve got to go back to rehearsal, but I’ll call you after?”

“Oh, yeah, ‘course. Talk to you later, then.”

“I love you, always.”

“And I love you, forever. Bye, baby.” Elide hung up and Lorcan slowly got to his feet, putting his phone in his back pocket. 

He walked back to the rehearsal room, his brow furrowed in thought. Lorcan tapped the side of his fist against his leg as he went back. 

When he walked back in, Malakai, their manager, glanced at him, “Are you… alright there, son?”

“Yeah,” Lorcan lifted his head. “I just need your help with something.”

<3<3<3

salvaterre: i don’t have time to call you before, but you’re going to do amazing and i love you so so so much. 

salvaterre: you’re going to kill it 

Elide stared down at the message, using it to ground herself. She stole yet another glance at the area before the makeshift stage and her heart hammered a bit harder. Her hands shook, so she breathed in deeply and tried to calm herself. 

Her friends were sitting around the table closest to the stage, all sipping on their drinks and waiting excitedly for her to start. 

The bartender, who was also the owner of the bar, walked up onto the stage and nodded once at Elide for confirmation. She nodded back at Gavriel and he turned to the microphone, “Folks, I want to thank you all for coming out tonight and please give a warm welcome to Elide Lochan!” 

Aelin and Lysandra cheered, while Nesryn simply clapped along with the others, smiling gently. 

Elide shook her head and put her phone in her guitar case before she walked out, sitting on the stool. Gavriel helped her adjust the microphone, “Is that alright?”

She nodded and adjusted her acoustic guitar, “Yes.” 

“Alright, then. Good luck.” Gavriel walked off, leaving her to play. 

“Um,” Elide said into the mic, looking over the crowd, “well, this is my first gig in quite some time and I’m… really happy to be up here, so, I hope you all enjoy it.”

Someone let out a loud ‘whoop’ and she laughed, strumming the strings idly. 

She took a bracing breath and then started to play a song she’d written years ago. It was her safety song, Elide supposed, the one she always played. People always seemed to like it and when she used to play more regularly, it had been a frequent request. 

As Elide played, her mind wandered, thinking about the lyrics she was singing and what they meant. 

Much like her boyfriend, everything she wrote was for him. 

Singing about him, it both saved and ruined her at the same time. 

As the last notes rang out, Elide swallowed, her chest aching. There was a gentle applause throughout the bar and she smiled. “My last song of the night is a brand new tune and I’ve never actually played it in front of anyone else, so please be gentle. It’s called Hourglass and, yeah.” Her cheeks heated in embarrassment over her awkwardness and she ducked her head as Aelin cheered, laughing softly, “Thank you, Aelin.” 

She exhaled once more, “Ok…” Elide strummed gently, one cowboy-booted foot up on the spindle of the stool she sat up. “You know, when you’re gone, I struggle at night, dreams of you fucking me all the time… 

“Though I know you’re tied up and I know your phone’s fucked, I’m craving your calls like a soldier’s wife…” she sang gently, her eyes shutting, “I wanna bring you home myself, bring you home myse-e-elf.”

Elide strummed a little louder, “Come back, move in, mess my place… chest infect me, waste my days… ‘cause I know you love to drive me up the wall, I know you love to drive me up the wa-a-all… 

“I wanna bring you home myself, bring you home myse-e-elf…” 

The crowd was watching in silent rapture. 

“And I’m so-o-o… impatient when you’re not mine. I just want to ca-a-a-tch up all on the lost time,” her voice was sultry like it usually was and she couldn’t help the emotion from bleeding into her words like she normally could, “And I’ll say I’m sorry if I sound sordid ‘cause all I really ever want is you…”

Elide vocalised sweetly as she played to the last verse, a small smile on her lips, “Offer my hand and I’ll take your name, share my shower, kiss my frame, ‘cause I wanna carry all of your children and I wanna call them,” she plucked more gently, “stup-id shit…”

She relaxed, indicating the end of the song, and she was met with loud applause. Elide smiled widely, her hands shaking. 

She heard a familiar hurray and snapped her eyes to the table her friends were sitting at. Between Aelin and Nesryn, Lorcan sat, wearing a proud grin, his dark eyes glittering. Elide gaped, clapping her hand to her mouth. 

Aelin got up and rushed to her, taking her guitar as Elide stood on shaky legs. “Wha- what- baby?” 

He nodded once and Elide laughed, launching herself at him the moment he stood up. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, blinking back tears, “I- I can’t believe you’re here.” 

Lorcan banded his arms around her waist and hugged her tight, one of his hands moving to press against her upper back. “I’ve been gone too long,” he said quietly. “And I didn’t want to miss this.” 

Elide slowly pulled away and tilted her head up, tears lining her eyes, “I’m- gods, I don’t even know what to think. I’m, I’m so happy.” She laughed warmly, her hands squeezing his shoulders. After a quick look around, Elide nodded her head to the side of the bar, where they could have some privacy. 

Lorcan nodded and went with her, taking their seats at an empty table. Elide sat up as high as she could and stretched over the small, round table, one hand tugging his jaw closer to her. She pressed her lips against his, somewhat melting at the first gentle brush of his tongue over the seam of her mouth. Elide parted her plush lips and gasped when his tongue licked over hers. 

They drew back, never ones to display much affection in public. Lorcan’s hand cupped her face and he stroked his thumb over her cheekbone, “I missed you, sweetheart.” 

“I missed you too,” Elide said, practically beaming. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”

“Oh, well, why didn’t you tell me you’d written something new? What happened to our deal, hmm?” He hooked his pinky around hers, “We pinky promised, Lee, that means something, you know.” 

One of the promises they’d made to each other was to always share their music with one another first. 

Elide rolled her eyes, “Call it even, then?” 

“But of course, sweetheart.” 

She grinned, unable to control her smile, “I still can’t believe you’re actually here.” Lorcan’s hand was resting on the table and Elide ran her fingertips over his knuckles and the various tattoos he had. “How… do you feel about it? The song?” 

“It’s beautiful,” he replied softly. “You’re extremely talented, Elide, d’you know that?” She blushed and lifted her eyes to his face. Lorcan softened as he took in her face and murmured, “C’mere,” as he pulled her off her stool and fit her between his thighs. He tipped her head back and kissed her once more. She melted into him, her lashes fluttering against his cheeks as she closed her eyes. “Lee,” Lorcan started, pulling back only enough to rest his forehead against hers.

Elide could see that he was going to say something and she quickly pressed her fingers to his full lips, shaking her head. She didn’t say a word, but he understood what she was telling him. There was nothing to say. Lorcan folded his arms around her and tucked her into his chest, one hand cradling the back of her head. His thumb stroked over her hair. 

She smiled and inhaled the cedar and sage scent that clung to him like always. Idly, Elide toyed with his necklace, which was twin to hers. “So… how long do I get you this time?” 

“A week,” he said, almost reluctant. “But, I was kinda thinking that after you…” Lorcan trailed off, nervous that she would say no. 

Elide lifted her head, her hands resting on his thighs, “After? What do you mean after?”

He inhaled and spoke, his words rushed and indiscernible, “Italkedtotheboysandweallagreeditwouldbekindafunifyoucamewithusandyoucould—“

“Baby, slower, please,” Elide laughed. Lorcan blew out a breath and nodded, anxiously shoving his hair back, then settling both of his hands on her hips. 

“If I asked you to come with me for the rest of the tour, what would you say?” 

She gawked at him, almost taking a step back. “Are- are you serious, Lorcan?”

A nod. 

“You really mean this? I would- I would come with you and do… what?” 

He shrugged, “I dunno. You could sing with us. Feature artist.”

Elide laughed again, holding one of her hands to her mouth, “Of course – I would say yes.” 

Relief flooded through his face and he smiled, “Really? You’d come with me?”

“Lorcan,” Elide said, softly shaking her head. She rose on her tip-toes, her lips brushing over his, “I would go with you to the ends of the earth and beyond.” 

With a rakish grin, Lorcan closed the distance between them. 

Always, they promised each other. I will be with you always. 

<3<3<3

songs: Kathleen, Homesick, Hourglass (Catfish and the Bottlemen)

an: ahhh they kinda cute or whatevah 

@mythicaitt​ @eyllweambassador​ @schmlip-scribble​ @the-regal-warrior​ @ladyverena​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ @flora-and-fae​ @thesirenwashere​ @queenofxhearts​ @maastrash​ @mynewdreamwasyou​ @cursebreaker29​ @empress-ofbloodshed​ @b00kworm​ @hizqueen4life​ @silversprings98​ @amren-courtofdreams​ @jadeaffliction​ @superspiritfestival​ @sanakapoor​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn​ @spyofthenightcourt​ @thegoddessofyou​ @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx​ @claralady​ @neonhellas​ @darlinminds​ @readingismyonlyhobby​ @autophobiaxx​ @myshadowsingeraz​ @firestarsandseneschals​ @elriel4life​ @always-in-a-daydream​ @jlinez @ladywitchling​ @mariamuses​ @darklesmylove​ @adelzd-bookblr​ @rowaelinismyotp​ @sassyhobbits​ @swankii-art-teacher​ @januarystears​@flamingveritas

[apothe-scary]

LEVI GOLDSTEIN THE VAMPIRE, FACTS MASTERPOST

Any time i have new facts ill add them here!!!

Levis physical facts

Levi is two thousand years and some change old!

He ages EXTREMELY slowly. Though bitten at age 19, he now looks 21-23 years of age at this point in his life.

Levi is six feet tall

As cute as levi is, he makes the most HORRIFIC facial expressions sometimes. Eyes a little too wide, smile too big, showing too many teeth and too much gum. Creepy smiles Bug eyed looks and wrinkled noses. He doesnt mean too, but he forgets what he looks like sometimes.

Levi is blind in one eye if you haven’t noticed! He lost it in a fight! A sword fight!

Has a really fucking weird accent i wont even attempt to write but will try to at least describe

Personal facts about levi

No one believes hes a real vampire

Loves bloody steak

Loves animals

Loves kids

Loves all things occult

Levis is old, very very old, he’s two-thousand and some change. So he can bypass some of the things younger vampires cant. He can daywalk for a few hours without protection BUT all day with protection ie: sun hat or umbrella. He can turn into mist and bats and a wolf creature. He can have his head cut off and still live. He can regenerate limbs. But things that still get him are the laws of hospitality. He must be invited, he must treat his guests with respect and feed them, water them, ya know treat them well.

Pouts when he cant go outside to look at the pretty flowers because he forgot/got it stollen his hat/umbrella.

Levi LOVES dogs! He gets one any chance he has and has an extensive record of every dog hes ever owned. When levi and svetza go out, levi is the buffer for dogs. Dogs seem to dislike svetza on some level she can not fathom. (Or some dogs at least) Dogs however flock to levi in droves and become instant babies in his presence.

Levi sleeps in a large four poster coffin bed. Its a queen sized bed shaped like a coffin with four posters, heavy light blocking curtains, and its very cozy!

Levi has family. Lots and lots of family. Hes kept a record of his entire family. He knows everyone and sends them letters and gifts on hollidays. Everyone in the family knows about levi but not exactly who and what he is and what hes about. Hes just that one really weirdly supportive uncle /cousin that shows up to familyreunions. Like the family isnt even sure how they are related but they know they are. He keeps track of marriages and births and deaths. Anytime anyone if the family needs to know their genealogy they ask weird cousin/uncle levi. Only a few memebers of the family know what he is really. Others know but dont believe. Some suspect and the others joke about it. Levis home (an old castle) is filled with family photos and such. It just fills me with joy to imagine that instead of mourning the fact that everyone you love dies while you live on as a vampire, he just sees it as an opportunity to keep track of his family and history! He even takes in family memebers when they need a place to stay. So its not uncommon for him to have random members of his super extended family living with him.

Garlic also isnt a deterrent. Garlic is just...stinky. Really really stinky. But he likes the stinky.

hes always cool to the touch so he LOVES warm stuff. Hand warmers, sunny days, warm rocks, warm people, hot drinks or foods.

But his favorite days are sunless because then he can go out without a hat and umbrella!

Levi is extra about his fashion! He wears all sorts of fashion, the man is two thousand years old and has CHOICES! Levi really loves the grungy garage punk and jock with crop top n booty shorts looks. At home he wears booty shorts and crop tops to lounge in. Sleeps in a night shirt thats really just an oversized tshirt dress he got at a thrift shop. He will wear a dress. He gives zero fucks.

Levi loves kitchy vampire shit! Novels, Movies, games, costume, Decorations, ect! He ADORES THEM! He thinks its fun and creative and likes all the lore people come up with! They even get facts right sometimes!

Levi is a dinosaur. Hes only just now gotten used to using a dial phone. Let alone a cellphone. Help him. He still uses a rotary phone for gods sake

Levi owns several properties he rents out to people. Its where he makes most of his money.

Levis birth certificate year has to be refreshed every thirty years to stay current. But all the other facts stay the same. Parents, where he was born etc. He knows people who can make him new proper legal documents so he can fly under the radar.

Levis Religious facts

Holy items dont work on him at all! Especially crosses because “Oh yes, a jewish man hung on a torture device would be PLEASED to see them used to symbolize peace and love. And then bless it as a holy item.” Like get real, its a torture device, a symbol of death and malicious intent and not a holy symbol. (To him)

He doesn’t consider himself evil or unholy. So that has some impact on why the items don’t work.

The boy sports a star of david all the time because...jewish.

He also reads his torah and other holy books like a good boy.

Levis professional medical facts

He drinks peoples blood to find out what ails them! Then perscribes them the proper medicine!

being a medical professional he convinces people to donate blood! He uses half of them for his patients.

Levi is able to smell girls on their periods but politely says NOTHING

Levi runs several small medical clinics/apothecary shops where he hires local medical practitioners as employees. (They deal with all the new fangled fancy equipment)

Levis personal medical facts

Levi is two thousand years and some change old!

Also as he is a medical professional he knows hes being rediculous but he doesn’t care. Levi takes iron pills because of his iron deficiency from his vampirism. But he hates taking the horse pills so he Makes bloodshakes with red fruits or veggies to hide the fact hes drinking blood and everyone just assumes its red for the ✨ aesthetic ✨

Direct sunlight after a few hours gives him a WICKED sunburn

Blood transfusions work as well. He actually keeps half of all blood transfusions for himself!

Levi is blind in one eye! He lost it in a sword-fight! Why it hasn’t regenerated is beyond him.

Levi au facts

Ouran highschool Host club

Ok but levi being in the host club would be kinda perfect for him. Hes a goofy, sweet, caring, drama loving, tall (six feet is tallish) pretty, twink boy. Hed fit right in.

People refer to levi as the vampire prince. He isnt sure why but it seems to make them happy so he just lets it be.

Loves occult stuff

Loves kids

Levi is on iron pills for his iron deficiency. But Levi refusing to take his iron pills because they are HORSE PILLS (aka huge af) He hates taking the horse pills so his friend crush them up and put them in his bloodshakes, blood pudding and sausage for him to eat/drink.

His friends know damn well he can swallow his pills (though he insists he can not) because they have seen him jokingly deep throat bananas and swallow hotdogs whole. But they just roll with it and crush them into his food and drink.

Levi Makes bloodshakes with red fruits or veggies to hide the fact hes drinking blood and everyone just assumes its red for the ✨ aesthetic ✨

Blood transfusions are also be a thing he does in rare extreme cases

Levi is a dinosaur. Despite only being 19. Hes only just now gotten used to using a dial phone. Let alone a cellphone. Help him. He still uses a rotary phone for gods sake

Levi sleeps in a large four poster coffin bed. Its a queen sized bed shaped like a coffin with four posters, heavy light blocking curtains, and its very cozy!

Levi lives with family friends who live in a castle!

Loves bloody steaks

Also cant be in direct sunlight for long due to also having sun sickness, so he wears a big hat and carries an umbrella all the time.

Pouts when he cant go outside to look at the pretty flowers because he forgot/got it stollen his hat/umbrella.

No one believes hes a real vampire

[windarcher]

I rarely use this side blog which is a shame, so fuck it, let’s take advantage.

And today we have - my revised essay on why Millennial Tree and Wind Archer are not canonly related, under the read more because it’s a long post! I posted this a while back under a different blog, but I think I can do better. I’ll be honest, 90% of the reason I’m writing this is for fun and to just talk about them because I love these two so much.

Look, I don’t care if anybody headcanons that they are related. If you do? Great! If you do and use that as an excuse to throw hate on people who ship them? Not Great!

So here we go.

1. The Characters

Wind Archer and Millennial Tree!

Millennial Tree was introduced in Ovenbreak, while Wind Archer was around back in LINE. They have a very similar protector/protected dynamic to Knight and Princess. (We’ll be talking about them more later.)

Wind Archer has, as of this post, his main description and three costume ones. I’ll list those first, and we’ll do a bit of unpacking.

Wind Archer - Originally, this Cookie was the wind who loved the green of the forest. This wind delightfully spent its days spreading fresh and sweet fragrances across the forest. In order to save the paradise in peril, a mysterious being granted it the power to purify the Darkness. This transformed the wind into Wind Archer Cookie, the protector of the forest. As long as Wind Archer Cookie's heart keeps hope, he'll carry on his duty.

The interesting thing about this one is that it mentions a mysterious being who transformed him from the wind to the Wind Archer we all know and love. This, I think, is what led a lot of people to head canon him as Millennial Tree’s son- they take the mysterious being to be MT. Put a pin in that one, because we’ll be coming back to it.

Guardian of the Millennial Tree - Long time ago, in a deep dark forest, lived the guardian of the Millennial Tree. The Legend is almost forgotten, but his mission is as eternal as the light of his gem, the Emerald Heart. And it is calling him once again!

This one is interesting because it implies that Wind Archer has been around for a long, long time. Technically it doesn’t disprove the head canon, but it doesn’t help it either.

Night Raven - Wind Archer Cookie embraced the Darkness to become the merciless Night Raven. 

... Yeah this has nothing to do with the theory, but here it is.

And finally, our newest costume!

Zephyr of Life - The Winds of Life gently caress the Dessert Forest. Wind Archer Cookie lands upon the fields and looks upon the horizon. A mysterious power has enveloped the land and granted a blessing to the guardian of the forest. Each arrow leaves a bloom of flowers on flight.

A mysterious power. Sound familiar? I think we can tie that into our mysterious being from before. Still, that doesn’t technically count out MT, right?

Well...

Like I said before! Wind Archer was around in LINE Cookie Run. He’s mostly the same except for one notable difference.

There, the mysterious being that created him was named.

The Sugar Swan.

Now, the Swan hasn’t appeared in Ovenbreak. Yet. But I believe that, with the newest event, we’re getting ready to see her. I know you’re tired of hearing this, but we’ll get to that later. She’s gonna have her own section.

Now that we have a grasp on Wind Archer, let’s move on.

Millennial Tree doesn’t have much, but we’ll still give him his share of the spot light! He doesn’t have any costumes yet, but here we go.

Millennial Tree - Deep inside a secret grove, there was a majestic ancient tree. Its roots went deep inside the ground and far to the very corners of the world. When the scarlet curse devoured the grove, the tree sealed itself in a magical slumber to resist the dark sorcery. With the help of the Cookies, Millennial Tree Cookie's silence was finally broken. Once again he is ready to vanquish the Darkness and make the world a blooming garden it once used to be.

Notice - Not once does this describe him as mysterious. That’s the main tie in to my little theory here.

Now. Moving on.

2. What they think of each other.

Thanks to relationship tags, and a few other tidbits, we DO have an idea of what these two think of each other!

First off - the Relationship Tags.

WA, about MT - “I shall protect the Tree forever!” (Admiration)

Note that there is a Family tag, and note that it is not used for either of their relationship tags.

MT, about WA - “My faithful guardian, my curse is not your fault.” (Trust)

Fun fact: Admiration and Trust are the same relationship tags that Knight and Princess (respectively) have for each other.

There are not just these, however! There are a few more tidbits here in their loading/home screen messages.

WA - “I will protect the Millennial Tree!” “The Tree knows everything.”

MT - “My faithful wind guards me.”

Nothing we don’t already know, but that helps with my point. There’s nothing that implies a familial relationship.

3. New Content/The Mysterious Being

Oh boy oh boy did this new update give us a lot to unpack.

First of all, the costume I mentioned earlier.

Secondly? Though she hasn’t been spotted yet, there are SO MANY hints about the Sugar Swan! Who, might I reiterate, I’m sure is the mysterious being that keeps getting brought up.

Here she is, located in her Galaxy Lake, which was located at the tail end of the Dessert Paradise map. Does that sound familiar?

Well it should if you’ve played the new story event!

The very first line of the event?

“Vixey! Cubby! Let’s go play near Galaxy Lake!”

And, if you take a look at both Wind Archer’s New Costume - The one that ties in with being blessed by a mysterious power- and the lobby design that comes with it...

Here we have the updated version of the galaxy lake. And Wind Archer’s new costume is designed with lots of the same purple tones as the lake/the swan. It also has a much more feather design then his Guardian of the Millennial Tree costume. The trees are very clearly the same as in the version above, pale with stripes. The sky is, unfortunately, a bit hard to see, though there are still stars there.

These aren’t themed around his usual stuff- This costume is themed much more... birdlike then usual. Granted, it’s not the only one that has wings/feathers, but it features them and the color scheme most promisely.

But the BIGGEST part of the new update that makes me certain the mysterious being CAN’T be MT?

In one of the segment of the update, we get this from Churro Cookie -

“The wind was commanded by the Tree to travel far from paradise and protect a mysterious being.”

With all the other hints, I’m certain that the mysterious being has to be Sugar Swan. She’s the one who turned the wind into Wind Archer. She’s the one who blessed him and further enhanced him into the Zephyr of Life.

And MT had nothing to do with creating Wind Archer. So, they are NOT related!

4. Extra Stuff

This does quite fit the rest, but I thought I might as well add it.

There’s one more cookie that has some heavy implication to the importance of swans.

Whipped Cream Cookie!

And again, the cookie description!

“A graceful Cookie, decorated with the tender, sweet whipped cream and shiny pearls. This Cookie spends days looking at his own reflection on the surface of the lake and practicing fouttés and pas. It is said that Whipped Cream Cookie has learned the elegant ballet movements from the beautiful white swans. This romantic ballerino's eyes are filled with pure light, and smile is so gentle and serene, it can calm the most furious storm. May his graceful ballet dance continue forever!“

If you read this with the perspective of searching for hints on Sugar Swan, it’s got quite a few! He danced at a lake- IE, the Galaxy Lake He was taught by swans - and the character gushes about swans by calling him the most graceful beings.

And while that doesn’t technically mean that he’s tied in, well... We do have one connection to the whole situation up above.

He and Millennial Tree know each other!

WC about MT - “The Millennial Tree watched my first performance!” (Friendly) MT about WC - “In my dreams, I've seen this Cookie dance...” (Friendly)

There’s nothing technically there. Just some extra tidbits that fuel my own person parent/child head canon that Sugar Swan is Whipped Cream’s mom-

ANYWAY

5. Conclusion

Millennial Tree was not the one to turn the Wind into Wind Archer. That was most likely Sugar Swan, and the devs seem to be building up to her coming back with this new event!

This means these two are not canonly related, and if you enjoy shipping them like I do, fear not! There’s no reason not to!

[secret-engima]

I blame @talisward for this but like-

Before I get way into this, tagging @wolfsrainrules​ and tentatively @north-peach​ because FFXV isn’t your fandom but this is also part Star Wars and who knows you might find it funny.

What if in a Star Wars/FFXV crossover, a ship takes damage to the hyperdrive (pirate attack or unexpected meteor shower something) and the hyperdrive yeets them waaaaayyyyyyyyy into Wild Space and it crashes on the jungle islands of an unknown planet and the crew is killed in the crash.

But the crew weren’t the only ones on board.

The Galahdians of various Clans, for once all united, swarm over the strange thing that fell from the sky very warily, scuffing and chirping at each other (because this is totally an A/B/O verse, maybe even an a/b/o spin-off of Thrown to Wolves verse who knows) and they finally pry open part of it to look inside and- dead bodies. Dead bodies of strange adults and non-human ... beings that still looked vaguely humanoid and didn’t dissolve like daemons. Sprawled over in what was clearly death from the crash. They explore and find no survivors or even anything familiar. The letters on the walls are strange, the technology is strange. Everything is strange.

Then one of them finds a body dressed differently. Rather than strange, unpleasant smelling synthetic fabric, this one is dressed in spun clothes, rough and simple and practical. The body, not human but very humanoid, is curled up near a door, an expression of odd serenity and determination on their face even in death.

It’s one of the Ulrics that notices the area AROUND the body is miraculously untouched. There is destruction and crumpled metal and sparking wires in the hallway leading up to the spot, but the door behind the body and whatever is beyond is undamaged. Protected.

One of the Ostiums sniffs carefully, stiffens as he finally catches a scent other than sparks and foreign metal and strange blood, “There’s something alive on the other side,” he whispers.

An Arra presses her ear against the door for several seconds before growling, “I hear pups.”

And that’s the only incentive they need to start forcing the door open, because pups are sacred, even in a place like this, a metal ship that fell from the night sky and is filled with the dead bodies of human and non-human beings alike.

The door finally gives way with a scream of metal, letting the light spill into the room.

The collection of Jedi Younglings stare at them with wide, frightened eyes, some human, others not, all smelling of sadness and terror and the need for reassurance.

The Galahdians glance at each other meaningfully at the sight of non-human pups, then carefully set about coaxing them all out despite the language barrier, soothing the tears that come at the sight of the dead protector (who must have been protecting the pups with magic, surely) and herding them out into the jungle sunshine. While some of the Clans start working on removing the bodies for as proper a funeral as they can make (they hope star people don’t mind being burned and released to the winds, but it’s all they can do), others start trying to figure out what to DO with the new children. They can’t separate them, but these are a lot of strange children and that will be a lot for any Clan to handle. They settle on giving them to the more famed and long-standing alliances, the Ulric-Ostium and the Lazarus-Furia-Arra because the joint clans will have an easier time raising the kids and figuring out ... well. Non-human biology.

One of the Ulrics meanwhile is carefully distracting the poor scared kiddos by trying to establish some rudimentary communication. She finally coaxes their names out of them and smiles when one of the humans (human-like? If he’s a star person does he really count as human?) in the group, a boy no more than eight if she doesn’t miss her mark, steps forward and shakily bows in greeting and carefully enunciates “Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Some other notes on this AU that I apparently have now: a/b/o is an Astral fiddling thing that happens over time and all the Jedi younglings are young enough that THEY develop it too as they’re raised by Galahd.

Galahd guards their Star Children zealously. Keeps them secret and treasured.

If this is not a Thrown to Wolves a/b/o spin-off, then this is still an AU where “magic” (ie the Force) can be used by almost everyone to some degree or other, just for simpler things than the specialized and extremely powerful magics of the LCs and Oracles because of Bahamut’s Blessing. Other people can still do amazing stuff with their “Magic” but it’s not armiger or Walls or superhealing/purification and it’s not as overwhelmingly powerful as LCs (who are all like- up there with Anakin Skywalker Force-power wise).

The younglings are Obi-Wan’s crechemates, they were on their way back from Illum or something when the hyperdrive yote them to Eos. They quickly figure out they’re on a planet so far away no one knows Galactic Standard and that no one has space travel. Eventually they settle in their new lives.

Everyone picture Feral Galahdian Jedi bbys. It’s like- Feral Mandalorian Jedi bbys but without the helmets and heavy armor XD.

They did end up splitting the creche between the various Clans, but tried to keep at least two kids near each other at all times so that they wouldn’t feel abandoned and organized regular “play dates” for all their Star Children (with the added benefit of the adults getting to share their meltdowns over the weird things their Star Children do and need). Also Ramuh is watching from on high and running damage control, which is why no Galahdian falls over dead from space viruses and no youngling dies in spasms from Eos viruses. He’s also the one to tweak the kiddos to fit into the a/b/o dynamic.

Obi-Wan would like you to believe he’s an Ostium. He is not. He’s an Ulric. Bant is his long-suffering Ostium braincell.

Other members of the creche include: Bruck Chun, who after multiple hard lessons on bullying is actually a pretty decent (if aggressive) bby Furia. Quinlan Vos because I find him fun (or, in this AU, Quinlan Ulric), and a couple OCs because I can’t remember who all else is in Obi-Wan’s age group/creche. There’s a Togruta in there somewhere because Togruta are cool.

Meanwhile in the Galaxy at large the Jedi are searching for their lost ship of younglings with more than a little alarm, but they don’t find them. While wandering for clues even years later, one Qui-Gon Jinn stumbles across a slave woman and her year old bby on Tattooine. The bby is extremely freaking Force sensitive so he Qui-Gon Jinn’s his way into buying both of their freedoms and taking them to Coruscant to introduce the woman to the Jedi so she can decide if she wants her bby in the Jedi or not. The woman is Shmi, the bby is Anakin.

Obi-Wan uses the schematics found on the ship (it was a ship for building lightsabers and stuff like in that one Clone Wars episode), his own instincts, and bits of the Elemency crystals/meteor shards lying around to “re-invent” the lightsaber. All the Galahdians are enamored and immediately figure out how to make their own.

Niflheim was Not Prepared to tackle a jungle full of Feral Galahdians with Laser Swords. Galahd does no fall and the Kingsglaive are still formed but not out of refugees. Instead Regis approaches them hoping to form an elite force of laser sword wielding jungle maniacs warriors. The Galahdians agree after some haggling for extra autonomy/privacy to hide their Star Children.

I feel like Obi-Wan joins the Kingsglaive. Just- because OBI-WAN. He’s curious and interested and he doesn’t particularly like war but he has that very strong Protecc instinct and people appreciate his diplomacy.

Years and years later, when the Star Children are teens/young adults, either they figure out how to repair their old ship or somehow another Republic ship finds Eos and all the Jedi proceed to collectively lose their minds over finding their Feral Galahdian former-Jedi younglings and their culture of laser-sword wielding jungle Packs.

Also the secondary genders is NOT a thing outside Eos so all the Jedi are ALSO freaking out over that and trying to figure out how their younglings have it (BECAUSE IT’S A THING. THERE ARE HORMONES AND VOCALIZATIONS AND STUFF THAT NORMAL HUMANS/MON CALAMARI/ETC CAN’T PULL OFF). It ... it never occurs to the Jedi that the Astrals did it because no matter how many times the Galahdians say it’s an Astral-granted thing, no one believes them because everyone “knows” that must be their primitive mythology and culture. There is no such thing as beings who can materialize out of thin air and are made of pure Force. Pssh.

Ramuh the Troll, Bahamut the Drama Queen, every other Astral who is professionally insulted that their existence is brushed off by the idiots who should know better: Behold, we shall ruin these arrogant space monks’ entire careers.

Also Palpatine tries something funny near the Galahdians and is murdered discreetly via an Arra because they can SMELL the madness and near daemon-like corruption on him kthanks.

Also also all the Galahdians take one (1) look at Anakin and go BBY SPACE ULRIC and promptly adopt Shmi and Anakin both while the Space Monks look on and sputter in confusion.

[fortheheavenssake]

💜💜 PG MM Anon 💜💜 Interpretation Collection - 2

Anon said:

You go PG!!! 😊😊😊🌸🌸🌹🐼🐼🐝🐝👍👍👍💖💖💖🌻🌻🌼🌼🌼😊😊😍😍💜💜🌹🌹🌹🌺🌺🌺💙💙💙🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌹🌹🌹❤❤❤👍👍👍👍 Violets 🌼

Anon said:

💗🌲🌞😺 hi Skippy this is for PG and JG 🏡🌲🥰🥰🧚‍♀️👑👑🐱🐰🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🐥🌺🌹🌼🌸💐🐿

*********

13.

💜💜💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON💜💜💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON… Hope SPRINGS eternal. “ you’ve brought SHAM-E upon this house”. SussexRoyal,one potato two potato…… (Amazing grace,how sweet… ). A Fall in the fall ? But…but, I still have friends!! “ grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel”. The deal was…NO DEAL !!!! “Ladies”do NOT … BBQ. 🎼 ‘Put it in the family …album 🎼

Hope SPRINGS eternal.

Besides the obvious mean of , there is always hope, this has a possible second meaning as SPRINGS is capitalized. Knowing our MM ANON , that was done for meaning. In fact, SPRINGS is a city in S Transvaal, in the E Republic of South Africa, E of Johannesburg. Does this mean South Africa is still a possibility?

You’ve brought SHAM-E to this house.

Sham is something that is not what it is purported to be. Shame is embarrassment, at the least. The House, is the House of Windsor.

Sussex Royal, one potato two potato.

Supposed foundation collecting money for supposed charities. One potato is a children’s counting game. Is the foundation treatment of donors childlike, ie that phrase like taking candy from s baby?

(Amazing grace, how sweet…)

It’s in brackets, the old hymn, a wretched soul saved by God’s love and expressing gratitude for same. Is this our Harry , reaching out??

A Fall in the fall….but l still have friends!!

Things are near bubbling over, might things snap in the fall. Fall is capitalized so it’s important. She is still threatening with having friends!!

“grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steal” as said earlier another Shakespearean reference from our beloved MM ANON . Hold your trusted friends close. Harry still close with friends even though not appearing so publicly? Pure supposition on my part. The phrase holds your friends close and your enemies closer.

The deal was ..NO DEAL,!

She was offered a financial settlement before the wedding, allegedly, first accepted, than changed mind at the last minute and went through with the wedding. Allegedly she was told if she didn’t take the offer THERE WOULD BE NO FURTHER DEALS, Also play of words on her suitcases tv career game show.

Ladies do NOT….BBQ . Reference to her trashy bbq burger tv commercial. Also long list of things allegedly done, that ladies, real ladies ala our Catherine, do NOT DO!!

🎼 put it in the family…album🎼

Is this reference to photos to put in the family photo album? I am not absolutely certain of that due to the musical notes. So it’s musical album, is this used perjoratively? Or do the royals like karaoke? Either way it’s musical related.

That’s my best go at it , not the best day but that’s me.

💜💜🐼🐼💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜🐼🐼💜💜

Great job PG!!!!! I so appreciate you doing this, as I know how difficult it can be for you, so thank you so much!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

27 notes

Jul 18th, 2019

———————

14.

PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON

💜💜💜💜💜💜THANK YOU NANNY ANON, I HOPE YOUR SKIN IS GORGEOUS 💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜💜💜💜💜👋🐼💜🙏🏻🐼💜💜

MM ANON,

Blood diamonds and a immaculate conception. The Three wise men- in grey suits. Gold, Frank-incensed and mur-der?… Sussex Royals ‘ boiled or Roasted. A royal tape-worm. Shrouded in mustique …… Sunset bully-vard. “We’re gonna need a bigger wall”. 🎼” ain’t no cure for the summertime blues “ 🎼

Blood diamonds and a (an) immaculate conception.

Blood diamonds are illegally sourced, literally via the blood/back breaking work of locals. Is this to suggest her diamonds are blood /illegally smuggled? Immaculate conception, is she faking yet another pregnancy? Everything is so sleazy, it’s really hard for my head to wrap around it all!

The Three wise men -in grey suits. Gold, Frank-incensed and mur-dear?

Obvious Christmas carols. Men in grey suits LG and his team, incensed at what they have learned , they are still investigating, is there mur-der in the past?? The island is still in play…..LOTS of wicked wicked things to be revealed and big names. We keep hearing warnings from the government legal teams ie SDNY, preparing the public for the horrors.

Sussex royals…boiled or roasted…🤣

Obvious reference to the 🥔 potato. Deeper meaning perhaps boiled/roasted may mean legal troubles.

A royal tape-worm

I hate referencing her as royal but as a tape worms does inside it’s hose, it uses and takes anything and everything the host needs to survive. We have seen that in spades, ESPECIALLY with a Harry, he looks on the edge. I know many disagree but he is our Harry, we have loved him since before he was born.

Shrouded in mustique …..sunset bully-vard

Shrouded in mystery, lots of the past years unknown. Mustique, is also an island in St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

Sunset Boulevard is an old movie about a haggard ageing actress trying desperately to make a comeback, the line “ I’m ready for my close-up Mr.DeMille” hilarious was made fun of by Carol Burnett on her tv show. I believe this means she is still trying to bully and get her way, using PR, Harry was missing 48 hours oh me , oh my, AS IF!!!

“We’re gonna need a bigger wall” a twist on the Jaws reference MM ANON made in an earlier riddle. They needing to do more to contain her, maybe also her access to media and PR teams.

🎼ain’t no cure for the summertime blues🎼

Is this meaning things won’t be wrapped up in summer, the above use of two Christmas carols also suggests patience, patience and more patience!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you PG! I know how you struggled to do this! Great job!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

43 notes

Jul 19th, 2019

::::::::::

MM Anon -PG

MM ANON ……… many thanks to PG for her excellent an succinct interpretation of the riddle. Kind regards and gentle prayers 💜💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you…..😁❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

23 notes

Jul 19th, 2019

::::::::::::::

💜💜💜💜💜 I AM SO HONOURED!!!!💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜💜MY DEAR MM ANON, my deepest and most sincere thank you, for your kind words and wishes. God bless you richly.💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

GSTQAOBC 💜

I think you are quite popular here my friend!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

19 notes

Jul 19th, 2019

——————

15.

PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜SORRY THIS IS SO LATE💜💜💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON …… Fab 4 2.0. It’s not rocket science. Northern parlour games will be a welcome distraction. The odds are in his Flavour. She can hide, but she can’t run. “Thank goodness it’s My little helpers. An unwelcome birthday present. (How old!!!!!!!!)………” its Carmen Miranda. “ Tomorrow is another daydream.”

Fab 4 2.0 It’s not rocket science.

Perhaps Catherine may be pregnant, two things give me pause though, with all her pregnancies she has suffered very severe hyperemesis gravidarum, so perhaps the fourth times the charm? Second is the trip to Asia, Afghanistan they are taking, high risk stressful trip. However, Catherine is not one to let much stop her. It’s not rocket science may be reference to the ‘ normal’ way to get pregnant and appear while pregnant versus the 10 month long tummy clutching horror show we all endured for a non pregnant pregnancy. Pardon my grammar.

Northern parlour games will be a welcome distraction.the odds are in his Flavour.

Reference to Balmoral, time spent there to relax and be together as a family. We know the Royals like goofy silly games, Christmas gifts etc, so do we all😁. Parlour makes me think of ice cream and odds being in his, l take to be Harry, Flavours, things will be in his favour in the media as more comes out.

She can hide, but she can’t run.

She likely has no passport in her possession, she may try and hide but she is under 24/7/365 supervision by LG and the men in grey suits, she is running nowhere, except a treadmill, not to be mean, but l doubt that too.

Thank goodness it’s my little helpers.

I want to go nice here, if indeed Catherine is pregnant l often hear expecting or new mums say that to the other children to include them and feel special.

An unwelcome birthday present…..

Her real age will be revealed with the avalanche of media….it’s going to get real for her. Or she will stay forever in her own narcissistic world.

It’s Carmen Miranda..l loved her in the old musicals..there are a couple of ways this fits, her fruit hat ie banana reference for the instagram pic mm posted of the two bananas and her writings to sex workers on bananas, she was thinking how nice it would have been to get one sent to her in her yachting days. The other way is the age…..l am not convinced l am correct on either.

Tomorrow is another daydream.

She will continue in her narcissistic way of thinking and behaving, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace. A man struts and frets his hour upon the stage…sorry, l digressed to Shakespeare, l know MM ANON loves Shakespeare!

THANK YOU everyone for all my mentions and suggestions, love you for it. I just a few weeks ago got fibre optic tv, l get so many channels now, and finally can watch the shopping channel!! I love my new Korres wrinkle creams and oils!! No joke. Also has a PVR, on demand, hbo, crave, music stations etc etc.

Thank you to all who post animals, historical items and anything Royal especially the royal jewelry. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

💜💜🐼💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🐼🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you so much! Lovely post! God Bless you dear PG!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

19 notes

Jul 21st, 2019

—————-

16.

PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON

MM Anon

MM ANON … sympathy for a milked visit to Di for. … A troop amend awaits … they txt each other …… PR or BS,go figure ……… A “tell ALL” in the PIPE’ Oh No!!!…… “this conversation will be taped for TRAINing purposes “ …… LIE- DOWN and take a nest………The Mouse-TRAP will run and RUN. ……How many sugars to screw in a LIGHTbulb.

THANK YOU MM ANON, I hope you’re well😊🙏🏻💜

Sympathy milked visit to Di for

Lovely photos of Prince Harry today visiting hospital patients, so like his mother, just naturally loving

A troop amend awaits,

Is something in the work for Harry going to Lion King instead of attend the memorial of the 30th anniversary of the IRA attack, perhaps another memorial, late but will he be forgiven?

They text each other…

Is this Harry and Chelsea, mm and ma ???

PR or BS..go figure

All the stuff in the papers, her PR is going fast and furious and yes all BS! Figure, is this the rumour about her working a deal with weight watchers? I could be way off!

A TELL all in the PIPE..oh No!!!

Rumours of a tell all book, and also the book that is readying for release in the U.S. we have seen articles here about that..PIPE, crack pipe????

Conversation taped for TRAINing purposes…

First out was the totally unusual overnight on the train with the Queen..was she recorded on the phone?? Ooo HM and LG BRILLIANT!!

LIE-DOWN and take a rest…

Continued lies, PR LIES, we all need a break from it

The mouse TRAP will run and RUN

she is caught in the trap, is she going to try and do a runner? impossible l doubt she has a passport but she is resourceful if nothing else! Constantly seeking PR and attention, running the hamster wheel every day

How many sugars to screw in a LIGHT bulb?

We have seen sugars realizing the lies , panicking. What will they do today with the paper saying Archie born in March….sugars are abandoning ship, but hard core remain……

That’s my best

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦💜💜💜🙏🏻💜

Prayers for you dearest MM ANON

Thank you so much PG! Excellent!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

36 notes

Jul 25th, 2019

——————

17.

💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON 💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON,… HOW OLD !!! … Forty something?Bal-moral birthday. …… 38,a-Gain … Broadsheet birthday?Sunday subversion. … who will blink?… Ageing elbows! Photos please …TPTB pouring concrete down the rabbit hole …online blogs followed with fervour … Lamestream media GAG on evidence. …Eps-And sulks won’t get parole. …🎼 “in a rich mans world “🎼

HOW OLD!!! Forty something/ Balmoral birthday….38 a-again

Whew have talked about, what is her real age? Sounds like she will be at Balmoral for 38 th birthday all over again, like Groundhog Day !

Broadsheet birthday?Sunday subversion…who will blink

Will the Sunday papers reveal her real age or articles about that. Who is gonna pull the pin and throw the grenade, metaphorically and public the real truths they have been sitting on FOREVER,?Subversion (Latin subvertere: overthrow) refers to a process by which the values and principles of a system in place are contradicted or reversed, in an attempt to transform the established social order and its structures of power, authority, hierarchy, and social norms. We have seen any sense of Royal protocols norms, even social functioning at a decent persons level non-existent, narcissism extraordinaire! Me Me Me-gain.

Ageing elbows, photos please, we all saw and read and some commented, especially photos from behind at Wimbledon how old her elbows looked😮😲

TPTB pouring concrete down a rabbit hole..why, what are they burying or further covering permanently….curiouser and curiouser🤔

What are they blocking, covering up?? This is curious, protecting someone . PA??

Online blogs followed with fervour..

Mm following blogs with fervour, might this be the KP team also doing so?

Lame stream media GAG on evidence..

Lame versus main, lame as in not being able to do their job because they’re lame, or lame as in a joke being lame, l think it’s the first. GAG is obvious something oral, and the media gags watching it as perhaps the person in photos or video is gagging 🤮🤢

EPS-n-sulks won’t get parole…

JE will not get parole, is she sulks? Because she does sulk! A LOT!

Song lyrics, rich mans world

Hip hop star Immortal Technique, l encourage you all to google and read the lyrics, they are bang on how the upper crust gets away with everything, look up the lyrics!!!

THANK YOU MM ANON💜💜🙏🏻💜💜👋💜💜😊💜💜🇨🇦💜💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you PG! Looks good!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

20 notes

Jul 26th, 2019

———————-

18.

MM ANON SHAKESPEARE

I think what happened is outrageous, Cawdor or any family place of that historically significance should remain with blood family.

My take on why MM ANON uses Shakespeare, 1), she obviously loves it, l remain firm she is a professor of literature or English studies, that’s just my supposition, based on her submissions and vast knowledge. 2) There are no dramas or tragedies like Shakespeare, also involving royalty. Revenge, adultery, murder, ghosts, wars, etc it’s all a version of what we have seen unfold before our eyes in the last few years, since the day of mourners when she who shall not be named wore a white dress.

Shakespeare just lends itself to tragedy. There are so many quotes etc that fit in so well.

JIMHO💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

💜💜🐼💜💜🙏🏻😊💜💜👋💜💜💜💜💜

Interesting ….makes sense to me…thank you😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

9 notes

Jul 26th, 2019

———————

19.

💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON 💜💜

THANK YOU MM ANON 💜💜🙏🏻😊👋💜

MM ANON, … delusional acceptance of a VB co-edit.… “I’m worried about spiralling “… “ she needs help grandma”… not very straight’ that jacket … but, there’s no more rope left. … “good morning LG, we need to talk “… the hidden pre-nup.… “Down and out in Scotland and L.A. “. “Don’t argue darling , just shoot the messenger “ … Very interesting intelligence’ thank you M.

Delusional acceptance of the September Vogue Book, as it’s their largest issue. Somehow she got her way again, absolutely delusional thinking, she is editing co-, this issue. She is now the official dictator to the fashion ‘bible’ , no blasphemy intended.

Spiralling, needs help, no more ropes…

Her mental state is drastically spiralling downward, due to substance use, illness or both, she does need help legal and medical. The BRF have watched her cause damage to herself. She has defied kicking and screaming, disrupting from seas to sea.

Good morning LG, we need to talk,

I suspect HM is done and dusted with her, enough is enough! And called LG to say it’s time to pull the plug on this horror show.

Hidden pre-nup 😮very interesting,

First l have heard of that, maybe that’s what they were signing after that ceremony when Harry held the book so camera couldn’t see it. Hooray for hidden pre-nup!

Down and out in Scotland and L.A.

She has absolutely no where to go, no one to turn to……it’s finished

Don’t argue darling, just shoot the messenger.

I know what shoot the messenger, blame the bringer of bad for the bad news itself. No arguments now, but not sure who darling is, perhaps PP to HM?

Very interesting intelligence, thank you M,

LG thanking HM for making the final decision and he will carry out her orders. Yippitty doooo bring it on,

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

I think you hit it spot on….MM Anon���what do you think? Thank you PG!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

53 notes

Jul 30th, 2019

:::::::::::::::::

PG Anon you have mail!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

MM ANON … nice one PG. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

12 notes

Jul 30th, 2019

::::::::::::::::

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜😊👋💜💜🐼💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART 💜💜

Thank you for all the loving comments directed my way, it’s so very much appreciated!👋😊

I try and live my Christian Faith without being pushy, if l ever am, please tell me. I think God and Jesus’ words in Scripture are guidelines, encouragements, love, hope as well as reminding us we live in a spiritual realm, and evil is insidious and the vile pedophelia, sorry my spelling, that word is not on auto correct! Anyhow, l do feel Scripture, reading it and memorizing it helps me a great deal AND arms us against evil. I have had many medical tests etc, MRI’S are not fun, Psalm 121 got me through that, l don’t know how many of them l have had but, Scripture helps me. When l read that you were benefiting from it, my heart just sings😊. Due to being home bound, my opportunities to share faith are not what they used to be. God has continually amazed me. GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU💜🙏🏻😊👋💜🐼💜🐼💜💜🐼💜💜🐼

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Lots of love and prayers for our Royal family and especially HMTQ.

🐼, lots of 💜🙏🏻👋😊💜 for all you do for us. I am so very blessed to have found this wonderful place.

Sweet dreams everyone 💤😴. Till the ‘morrow.💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you so much! You are our treasure! God Bless, and happy dreams🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

15 notes

Jul 31st, 2019

——————-

20.

💜💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON💜💜

MM ANON …Negative In Positano !!…TWO ? OUCH!! a sanctimonious prick!!… defending the indefensible… racist!! Sorry’ I was unconscious … the conscious distain of a nation… useless damage control ……… try backpedaling uphill … I’m on planet privilege’ you’re not… middle England turns on a minor irritation. …Granny is VERY upset. … exiles in there own lunchtime … “Cha’Cha’Cha’Changes”… “Graves at my command have waked their sleepers

Negative in Positano…

Catherine and William were NOT at the celeb ‘woke’ environment saving, jet flying celeb meetings in Italy as has been rumoured by hmmmm whose PR?

TWO? Ouch a sanctimonious prick

Harry in his interview with Dr. Jane Goodall, in the Vogue edited, well, co-edited by mm, says no more than TWO children is responsible thing to do for the world and environment, slamming his brothers family and he comes off as a sanctimonious p****.

Defending the indefensible, racist…..

Huge backlash to this interview, did he really say the things about racism being unconscious😮, oops subconscious or was he edited? Either way, gasoline thrown on a fire, raging out of control now..

Conscious distain of a nation, backpedaling uphill, useless damage control, l’m on planet privilege you’re not

The unmitigated nerve, do as l say, not as l do, l am woke, you’re all ‘subconsciously’ racist…..there is no recovery from this, Harry, dear Harry if you actually said these things, l don’t see a way back to being beloved as you were, killing me to say this, but is she edited it, either way, there is no unringing this bell and the damage it’s doing and how angry people are!

Middle England turns,

As above, oh the people are just a minor irritation, we are on planet privilege, we CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT,,

Granny is VERY upset, exiles in their own lunchtime, cha cha changes,

HMTQ is VERY upset. They have been exiled to meals alone, if at Balmoral. Changes, big changes are forthcoming. The purse strings may be cut off now that separated from CH. That might happen quicker than first thought. We know she lives, eats breaths $$$$$££££££€€€€€€€ and PR , PR COSTS A LOT OF MONEY!

Graves at my command have wakened their sleepers.

HM has given the official go ahead for all the silence to be broken, all the truths that had been buried and laid silent are going to explode in the media, Hang on, it’s going to be a very bumpy ride!

GSTQAOBC 💜

THANK YOU MM ANON

Excellent! Thank you so much PG!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

87 notes

Jul 31st, 2019

:::::::::::::

PG you have mail from MM Anon

MM ANON…… 💜💜💜💜 WOW , PG You’re quickly becoming the new emsi247. Thank you for your de-coding …… Bletchley Park awaits 😉😉😉 ‘ quick break out the wrinkle cream. 🤣🤣🤣

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

32 notes

Jul 31st, 2019

:::::::::::::::

💜💜THANK YOU MM ANON💜💜

It has been awhile since my critical thinking and knowledge have been put to the test, given my health issues. It is so nice to use that part of my brain! No joking! I am honoured to even be mentioned in the likes of emsi. Thank you.💜🙏🏻😊👋💜 GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Wonderful PG!😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

———————-

[frankensteindotpdf]

TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :) 

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but  this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real)  just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul  when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

[littlehollyleaf]

Your Riddler Oracle Au (that you will never write) seriously sounds amazing. You could even add the tragedy kink in with Eddie becoming more and more enticed with the dark side (a 'personal trap' (description stolen from Norman Bates) because of his abusive upbringing) and both Batman and Foxy end up worrying about him as he slips more and more. Kinda like a telltale thing with John Doe, but dealing with Foxy way more, because of the years of love they had. Sorry, too much nerding of your au. 8P

(Au anon being overly annoying over here) it can even include Eddie becoming somewhat enamored with Ozzie, or the idea of Ozzie, similar to that Harley Quinn parallel post you put up earlier. Basically tempting that part of his mind to the dark side.

HI ANON I AM FINALLY REPLYING!

Firstly I just - god bless you for being so excited about my daydream ramblings

I ramble more OVER HERE with more AU thoughts/plotting that touches on Ed being tempted by darkness a little. Cos in my scenario I imagine him still trying/wanting to kill Tom Doughty - it’s just lucky that Foxy stops him in time. Plus I’d keep the whole bit with Eddie in Arkham torturing Bruce and Foxy, so he’d be tapping into his darker, slightly sadistic desires there (though in my scenario I picture him being influenced/brainwashed by Hugo into doing that - which, hi hi, has now been stolen as a plot by the show perhaps?? :p).

In the link above I stop my imagining at the end of S02, but listen... I HAVE SO MANY MORE FOXMA CANON-AU IDEAS, FOR REAL. IT KEEPS ME ENTERTAINED DURING BORING DAYS OKAY?? 

So, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you inspired me to write them down.

Please forgive me for the insanely extensive ramble!

So, as I hint in the link, I was thinking -

S03 Eddie as Chief of Staff to Ozzie plot al a canon

For purposes of ~drama I like to daydream that Eddie is on compulsory sick leave from the GCPD because whatever Hugo did to him at Arkham has been fucking him up a little - causing him to have violent episodes, hallucinations..... basically I guess the mental break that happened after he killed Tom in canon

Foxy has been the wonderful, caring, loving, supportive boyfriend we all know he would be and helping Ed as best he can through all this

Oh they are also totally living together now

But Ed is scared to talk to Foxy about all the dark impulses that Hugo’s tinkering has brought to light in him because Foxy is (so he thinks) all pure and stuff and Ed doesn’t want to burden him or risk scaring Foxy away

Plus Ed is going crazy not being able to work

So one day when he turns up at the GCPD trying to convince Jim to let him come back and is refused (politely and with sympathy) he just SNAPS and RAGE QUITS and stomps out... only to be found moping on the sidewalk a while later by Ozzie

Now Ozzie, like in canon, has grown rather fond of Ed due to Ed nursing him back to health after being shot by Galavan and ofc in this world from Eddie going to visit him in Arkham and then trying to save him from Hugo

So on learning that Ed has been, so Ozzie spins it, ‘fired’ for being ‘violent’ or whatever, Ozzie immediately offers Ed a job helping in his Mayoral campaign

Probably Ed and Ozzie end up having a little chat about violent impulses and the like too, because it’s easier to talk to an infamous violent criminal about such things than it is with a seemingly innocent, saintly boyfriend, causing Ed to immediately warm to the idea of working with Oswald and maybe by doing so being able to unburden himself of his troublesome thoughts/feelings and... maybe even find some possible outlets for them...? ie. being enticed towards darker acts like you suggest anon!

When Ed reveals this to Foxy though, Foxy is... NOT HAPPY with the idea of Ed working with a criminal like Ozzie. Partly because he does not approve of the idea of Oswald as a Mayor and partly because he fears it won’t be good for Ed’s mental health

Which leads to a HUGE FIGHT with Eddie claiming that Foxy is being unfair about Oswald and treating Ed like he’s a child who can’t make his own decisions and the more Foxy tries to explain that’s not true the worse it sounds and the madder Ed gets. Plus any defence of Ozzie is met with disdain by Foxy. Until eventually they build up to some kind of ultimatum where Foxy tells Ed that ofc he’s capable of making his own decisions, but if he agrees to work with Oswald then Foxy can’t in good conscious continue with their relationship!

So a furious Ed is just - FINE THEN! And packs up his stuff and leaves.

And you can tell that both of them regret this RIGHT AWAY - Ed hovering outside the door on the verge of returning, Foxy with his hand on the doorknob poised to go after Ed and apologise

But in a tragic twist of timing they fail to make up - just as Eddie is about to return some neighbours walk by and see him with his suitcase and he feels compelled to walk on, then just as he’s out of sight Foxy plucks up the courage to open the door only to find Ed gone, noooo

Leading to Eddie turning up at the Van Dahl mansion suitcase in hand (maybe wet too, let’s imagine it raining!) where he tells Ozzie - yes I’ll take the job, but, I also kinda need somewhere to stay...

This is where the nygmobblepot - enticement towards darkness part really comes in!

Ozzie welcomes Ed in with open arms ofc and his journey to becoming Mayor plays out pretty much as in canon, with Eddie doing his supportive stuff and dipping into ‘lightly’ criminal behaviour to do so

Ozzie completely falls for Ed along the way, makes him Chief of Staff etc.

Ed is maybe, slightly, starting to develop deeper feelings for Ozzie too... and maybe there’s a bit of a ‘rebound’ aspect to it, but maybe not... plus Ozzie HAS been constantly accepting of Ed’s ‘darkside’ without judgement, which endears him to Ed, as well as the opportunities Ozzie may have provided to allow Ed to indulge said darkness (letting Ed help with interrogations and the like)

(also a lot of the warmth we saw build between Ed and Ozzie in S02 would totally have happened here as well - so they’ve got that history)

Meanwhile Foxy has taken over Ed’s job at the GCPD and watches Ed’s advancement on the news with growing concern... but also a little pride? Because... Ed seems happy... and healthy... and... maybe Oswald isn’t doing a TERRIBLE job as Mayor? (since Foxy wouldn’t know about the ins and outs of Ozzie also running the criminal underworld and how ever more deeply involved Ed is becoming with that)

UNTIL

That fateful day Ozzie plucks up the courage to confess his feelings and Ed stops off at a liquor store to purchase a bottle of wine.......

Only ofc it’s not Isabella Ed runs into 

So Ed finds Foxy while buying wine. They end up talking through the night. Both of them apologise for past behaviour. Foxy even reluctantly compliments Ozzie maybe. They both admit they miss each other. Feelings are rekindled. Kisses. They agree to try again.

Ed on learning the time, as in canon, rushes back to a frantic Ozzie and reveals that he and Foxy have decided to rekindle their romance and ISN’T IT GREAT?? :p

All the stuff about ‘second chances’ that Ed applied to Izzy in canon now fits rather nicely with him and Foxy :)

Ozzie’s jealousy progresses as in canon... to its inevitable conclusion (maybe there’s even a moment of crisis where Ed tries to break up with Foxy out of fear that he will hurt him, like he feared with Izzy, but Foxy also calms Ed’s fears... albeit without creepy cosplay... but maybe with rough sex though...? Foxy showing Ed that he’s not an innocent snowflake and can handle it if Ed needs to be a little dark...??)

OFC IN THIS SCENARIO OZZIE FAILS TO ACTUALLY KILL FOXY!

BUT - there’s a brief time where Foxy SEEMS to be dead (perhaps a mangled body was found in/by his crashed car that there is enough evidence to SUGGEST is Foxy for everyone to believe it... but actually it was a homeless man Foxy was giving a lift to a shelter or something... look you can’t expect me to think of ALL the details!)

AND OKAY HERE’S THE THING - while Ed thinks Foxy is dead, his whole development into The Riddler PLAYS OUT JUST AS IN CANON after Izzy died

So that’s - going through discovering Foxy was ‘murdered,’ blaming Butch, the whole bit with him and Tabby and the mini-guillotine, learning it was Ozzie who did it, teaming up with Babs etc against him, all the way to the docks and everything

Until we get lost and confused Ed post-Ozzie’s death going on his academic killing spree and sending riddles to the GCPD

Unhappily for Ed he only has poor Harvey to play with, since Jim is off doing important Court of Owls related plot business and Foxy is ofc unavailable

During it all Ed has some AMAZING hallucinations of BOTH OSWALD AND FOXY though... I confess I haven’t thought those through... but they DEFINITELY HAPPEN

How Harvey gets on with the chess and ‘belly of the beast’ stuff idk... maybe Lee helps... but somehow he muddles through to the finale with Eddie dangling him over the stairwell and asking his final three riddles

EXCEPT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME A WILD VERY MUCH ALIVE FOXY APPEARS AND BEGS ED TO STOP

Ofc Ed just thinks he’s hallucinating at first until Harvey exclaims his shock at Lucius being alive

Cue an intense, emotional conversation. Foxy, as in canon, twigs that Ed has killed Penguin. Ed counters, desperately - he killed you! Foxy is sympathetic. Loving. Reassuring Ed that he isn’t dead (he’s been in a coma listed as a John Doe or something, shhhh, details), that they can make this right

You can see Ed wants to believe this so badly... but he is torn... he’d built himself up into becoming a criminal, felt like fate had pushed him into it, he’d felt READY to be that man

How? he cries. How can we make this right? It’s not just Oswald. I’ve done things, killed people. I’ve killed people, Foxy, and I liked it!

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, Foxy would insist. You’re still my Ed. My Riddler. Please, you don’t have to do this.

And Foxy would move closer, reaching out. 

And Ed would be on the verge of taking Foxy’s hand.

...but that’s when the rope holding Harvey would snap.

And a pained Ed would shake his head and back away - I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s too late!

Leaving Foxy to catch a falling Harvey while Ed runs away

I’m sorry I know this is too long and ridiculous but it’s been on my mind for SO.LONG and I’ve got a whole Court of Owls bit as well

In an effort to slot this whole AU into the canon as much as I can I picture Ed going on to try and be a criminal like he does in the show - green suit, robbing three banks in one night and all that (but I’m vetoing the use of the name ‘Riddler’ at this point)

Meanwhile Foxy is, just, distraught back at the GCPD - INSISTING to Jim and everyone that Ed is not himself, that he needs help, that they need to find him, that if they just find him he can talk Ed down he promises

And Jim is sympathetic probably, reassuring Foxy that the GCPD is doing all they can, that they all care about Ed (which may or may not be stretching the truth some at this point) and will do their best to bring him in without hurting him (Kristen, who is still alive, is also on Ed’s side maybe?)

Then we’ve got Babs drawing Ed into the Court of Owls stuff

And Ed in this AU is... much more obviously conflicted about his current life choices and acting reckless/suicidal (because dramatic death seems like an easy way out of his current emotional struggles)

So, as in canon, he jumps at the chance to poke at a dangerous, secret organisation

The whole thing with the Mayor and Jim at the GCPD plays out and Jim lets the Court capture Ed (which Foxy is PISSED to learn about after the fact because W.T.F Jim you promised you would bring him in safe! why didn’t you tell me? I could have talked him out of it if I’d been there!)

Cue Ed discovering Ozzie is alive and the two of them teaming up to bust out together

Cut to Foxy returning to the GCPD late at night - he’s forgotten a file he needs, he’s been very distracted lately

Only when he enters the building he finds - ED, in full ‘not-Riddler’ outfit, sitting at one of the desks

Foxy assumes Ed has come to see him, but what he doesn’t notice is that Ed is as surprised to see him as Foxy is to find him

But before they can have a real conversation - Jim arrives

And Foxy, like, PANICS and jumps in front of Jim, yelling at Ed to run, to just go, he’ll stop Jim, Ed just needs to get out before he’s caught (Foxy has grown less enamoured of the plan to have the GCPD catch Ed since Jim let the Court take him)

Except Ed just puts a quiet hand on Foxy’s shoulder and tells Foxy he’s sweet... but actually it’s Jim he’s come to see, dun dun!

TWIST - it turns out that Ed has been WORKING WITH/FOR JIM ever since Babs approached him about the Court

Eddie had found Jim and offered to become a spy on the Court if Jim promised to clear his criminal record in return

Meaning the whole ‘letting Ed be captured by the Court’ was really a ruse Jim and Ed had concocted together to get Ed inside the Court

Brief comedy moment where Jim is all - nice to see where your priorities lie though, Lucius - about Foxy trying to help Ed escape justice :p

Foxy is all - ?????? about all this ofc. But focuses on how dangerous it was for Ed to let himself be captured by the Court

Ed just shrugs off his possible death - it’s the only way he could see to untangle himself from the criminal he’d become, to stand any chance of him and Foxy getting back to how they were

There’s a quick debrief with Jim - unfortunately Ed learnt little, only that Ozzie is still alive (which Jim already knew at this point) and that the Court are planning something big

Foxy wants to take Ed home at this point - end the whole thing. But Ed thinks he should go back to Babs etc - that he might be able to learn more while still a criminal

(also secretly Ed is still reeling over Ozzie not being dead and there is a dark part of him that very much wants to try and kill Ozzie again)

Then we have Jervis and his blood being needed to cure the virus the Court unleashes

In canon Ed helps Babs take Jervis from Jim, then Jim bargains with Ed, offering him Ozzie to get him to hand Jervis over.... 

I’m fuzzy on how this would work in the AU... maybe Ed actually helps figure out that Jervis’ blood is key to the cure?

...I think...he would have to NOT be involved in Babs kidnapping Jervis, because he’d WANT Jim, Foxy etc to get Jervis’ blood, WANT to help cure the virus

But Babs ends up with Jervis anyways

So in this scenario Ed calls Jim to let him know he can get him Jervis..... BUT.... in the meantime Ed has discovered Jim has Ozzie and his dark impulses get the better of him - he refuses to hand Jervis over unless Jim delivers Ozzie

He tried to kill the man I love, Jim, Ed insists.

So Jim, making very sure not to tell Foxy, agrees

We get the warehouse scene (...maybe without the hand grenade around Jervis... maybe not :p)

Followed by Ozzie knocking Ed out, the car, Ed seemingly escaping...

...and on to the second docks scene

EXCEPT EXCEPT EXCEPT

When it comes to the pivotal moment when Ed has the chance to shoot Ozzie again and get it right this time...

...HE DOESN’T

He thinks of Foxy and of the better man Foxy sees in him and realises that’s the man he wants to be

I can’t, he says. If I do this, Lucius and I are over. I can’t be this man and still be with him. 

He gives Ozzie back the gun

Ozzie gives him a curious look

You really love him, don’t you?

Ed nods

Ozzie nods back, understanding. Then lifts the gun and pulls the trigger

It’s unloaded ofc - and Ozzie explains about taking out the bullets, nods to where Freeze and Ivy are appearing behind Eddie

Ed asks if Ozzie is going to kill him and Ozzie says he considered it, that he considered worse - it all depended on what Ed chose to do

But since Ed chose to spare him, Ozzie spares Ed as well and tells him to go back to the man he loves - something sappy about life only giving you one true love and Ed is lucky to have found his

Maybe Ed looks at Ozzie thoughtfully (slightly longingly?) for a moment and says something about - maybe, in another lifetime...

Cut to Foxy returning home after... helping with the virus cure... whatever he was doing at the end of S03!

Ed is waiting for him inside. In the dark, so Foxy is surprised by him when he turns on the light. Because Ed is embracing his Extraness now :p

INTENSE EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION

Foxy has discovered that Ed asked for Oswald and Jim gave him up and confronts Ed about it

Ed says he took Oswald to the docks to shoot him... but like, leaves it a little unclear for a bit what actually happened because he wants to know how Foxy would react to him having killed Ozzie, for real this time

And here’s my kicker - Foxy disapproves... but he accepts it. Is willing to still be with Ed, even knowing Ed has committed premeditated murder in what is arguably sound mind (his killing spree after Foxy’s ‘death’ being something Foxy has been justifying as a result of mental illness)

Which is, ofc, a hell of an emotional boost to Ed!

Cue angry, relieved punching when Ed reveals the truth 

...some stuff with Ed insisting that he’s different now - they can’t go back to how they were, there’s a ‘darkness’ in him and that’s not going to change

Foxy telling him he understands. 

Something like - this is Gotham, living here, you need some darkness in you or you won’t survive...

....some kind of fancy wordplay anyways that shows that Foxy can handle darkness and isn’t exactly all light himself

Which leads to kinky sex

THE END

only not ofc :p

because you have all of S04... 

I don’t have a full plot for that, but I imagine Ed getting involved with Ozzie’s battle with Sofia somehow, because Ed withstanding torture for Ozzie and Ozzie giving up his revenge for Ed is just.... TOO GOOD and I need it to exist in this AU as well...

I have out of context ideas about Ed helping with Martin as well still, and he, Foxy AND OSWALD end up all living together with Martin for a bit (or at least Martin lives with Ed and Foxy and Ozzie comes to visit)

...which ties in to my secret Endgame Scenario where, in the midst of proper Batman times, Ozzie EVENTUALLY (after lots of criminal shenanigans) ends up going (mostly) legit and he, Eddie and Foxy develop a working poly relationship... but that’s in the far future :p

(also I’ve got a whole ~THING where Eddie finds out Foxy works for Batman - cos it’s not Foxy’s secret to tell, right? so I figure he would feel honour bound to keep the fact Bruce is Batman even from his boyfriend... only Eddie is not dumb and notices Foxy working later than he should and maybe Foxy’s excuses don’t hold up and whatnot and long story short Eddie becomes, reluctantly, convinced that FOXY MUST BE HAVING AN AFFAIR, even though it doesn’t fit his character AT ALL and by all accounts shouldn’t make sense... so anyway, yeah, he confronts Foxy, and Foxy CAN’T tell him the truth, so with Foxy refusing to explain himself Eddie is forced to conclude that his suspicions must be correct and it’s all just awkward and upsetting...

...only obviously Ed finds out the truth soon after - I keep picturing a scene where he comes upon Barbara Gordon at the GCPD (which Eddie goes back to work at fyi - teaming up with Foxy there for a bit till Foxy goes back to Wayne Enterprises). He finds her trying to hack into Batman’s radio, because she’s a fan. And because Eddie needs a distraction from his homelife (and is also a fan) he helps her and they succeed, only to listen in to Batman having a conversation WITH FOXY, leaving Ed all - ??????!

and ofc he hijacks the line and is all - FOXY THE FUCK?! 

...followed by a shocked (slightly awed) - FOXY OMG ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH BATMAN??

to which Bruce and Lucius are both - aaaaah! wow, omg, fucking NO!

...and yeah, that’s how Ed finds out his boyfriend works for the Bat and ultimately leads to him (and Barbara) joining the team :p)

Soooo... yes... there we go. A more detailed look into my ‘Ed and Foxy were friends at uni’ foxma AU version of Gotham/Batman, including Eddie having an ongoing, complicated relationship with Oswald which involves him constantly struggling with his darker impulses and being tempted to... less than lawful/ethical/moral behaviour.

(I feel like maybe sometimes as well, when Eddie is working alongside the Bat Fam, he maybe... quietly orchestrates things so certainly particularly vile villains end up, um, ‘unalive’ ...but in ways that aren’t obviously deliberate... or maybe even occasionally, secretly teams up with Ozzie to help bump off various people...

oh shit and yeah that’s the other thing - in this AU, when Eddie becomes Oracle!Riddler... mostly I just take it as read that Ozzie 100% knows it’s him from the get go... but he just... never says anything... and even though he knows that technically he could probably go after Eddie and try and torture the identity of Batman out of him, Ozzie just... doesn’t... because - love, you know? ;p)

God this is way too long, I’m so very sorry...

[tinkdw]

Hi Tink! I didn't realize how far down the rabbit hole I'd fallen looking through your blog, but I found a post about A Most Holy Man from way back when about how Jensen improvised that bit about the Impala being stolen and you said you thought it was bad (paraphrasing) and I was just wondering why? (I mean obviously murder is bad but in terms of characterization, I guess) I hope this makes sense - it feels like it doesn't, sorry!

Hello!

Yeah, I did explain that I felt this line was out of character and out of sync with the development of Dean’s character throughout season 12-13 and absolutely it clicked in place for me 100% when Jensen said he added this line in that 

A. no I wasn’t nuts to have thought this in the first place as clearly it was NOT written as part of the script and therefore the fact that the rest of the characterisation and development works perfectly if you remove this line makes my wrinkles smooth out in deep pleasure as an analytical person who felt this one line totally stuck out like a sore thumb and didn’t fit at all with the rest of his characterisation or the plan of his character development

B. shows again how Jensen bless him can be so on the money about some stuff and yet so backwards and antiquated in his perception of who Dean is in others. It’s like he sees parts of the development but not all and suffocates those parts he doesn’t see/like sometimes because he just doesn’t understand that this isn’t OOC, it’s entirely IN character it’s just that his character had a facade up and now he’s letting it down. He’s played the facade so well he thinks it’s actually Dean sometimes... It fits perfectly with his denying the Game of Thrones line which revealed that Dean loves reading for pleasure and is a massive geek, the Taylor Swift line, leaving Sam when he knows he is undeniably dead, this moment... there’s more, the list is not that long really but they are some key moments where the writers and the analytical meta writers all squee over this exposition of his character fitting all together and all making sense in the big puzzle of Dean and Jensen just sometime doesn’t get because his perception of Dean omits these aspects and unfortunately for him this overall theme for Dean is only coming out stronger and stronger as the sublimation dies out. I say unfortunately because this basically means either Jensen is going to keep having to either change lines while the writer’s out of sight or get firmly told he just has to nut up and do it as per a variety of outcomes for the previous examples I’ve given. As the show is coming to the point where this is becoming more and more common and blatant the latter is likely to happen though, let’s be real. They’re not going to let go of the repeated characterisation and puzzle box of Dean that’s taken 13 years to build just because it takes a few takes to get Jensen to figure it out. Jensen continually tells us he is an actor and not a writer and is happy to let them get on with the job as long as he understands and once he does he’s totally on board (ie. Mary in 12x22) so likely they’ll just do that some more.

Back to the car line, well, essentially Baby is a metaphor for Dean’s emotional state. I think this has been confirmed by one of the writers on twitter some time though I don’t have the exact details but regardless it’s blatant. My tag for it is #baby is deans soul.

Eg. We discover that Dean is the one who chose Baby, not John then consistently we see her as representing his state of mind. When he’s out of hunting and masking himself with Lisa Baby is under a cover (masked), when Dean loses his faith in Cas when he becomes Godstiel Baby is wrecked and his repairing of her is a metaphor for his repairing his own mental state, when Dean gets sent to purgatory Baby is wrecked, when Dean gets rid of the Mark he cleans Baby up methodically and repeatedly, she’s gleaming (in his booty shorts), when they realise the Darkness is destroying the world Dean’s relief is short lived and Baby gets beaten up within that same episode, when Cas is dead and Dean can’t cope Baby is filthy, now that Dean is possessed apparently we don’t see Baby for a while... 

So yes Baby is a metaphor for Dean’s soul and throughout seasons 12 and 13 in particular Dean has been getting so much mentally healthier, more open with his emotions, more honest, just so much better overall (apart from his wavering and descent into darkness from mid s13 of course leading to Michael) but in general his view of HIMSELF has been so much better. He’s openly admitting that he has sublimated a lot in the past, then he shows us so much of himself. He goes around bonding with retro kids over doc martens and energy drinks and shows his relatively silly fear in his Indiana Jones moment which is so daft in relation to his usual life. He talks to Sam about his happy endgame. He gives Cas a freaking mixtape. He talks openly to his mother about his feelings I mean Chuck almighty! HE LETS SAM GO! That’s a huge one, he lets Sam go and be the leader he truly is and stops trying to control him. Etc Etc Etc. 

Then in this episode which frankly was boring but the META aspect of it was fantastic, it was a whole episode based on what’s right and wrong, do the ends justify the means etc, where do they sit, Sam being the leader again and convincing Dean of the right path and all that jazz, well, it kinda made zero sense for Dean to backtrack to season 8/10 style most repressed angry can’t see the good for the bad just wants to smash everything Dean like? ? ? This isn’t season 13 Dean. Sure season 13 Dean is struggling but he’s generally just so much better, he’s not regressed in that respect that much wowzers. IDK it just felt totally off and not true to real Dean, who we had been getting so much exposition of leading up to this huge flip at the end of the season which was SUPPOSED to make us see how this was totally bad because that’s not who Dean truly is because of this exposition of his character over 2 years and then relatively close to the climax we got this line which was such a performance of angry not-who-Dean-truly-is-but-who-he-is-when-shit-is-so-bad-he’s-lost-himself-Winchester. It just took away from the whole “blue blue blue blue blue blue blue - RED” thing by having a red right in that part leading up to the climax you know? It makes you not see the pattern of how WRONG the red is.

Anyway, that’s why I was very happy when I heard that it wasn’t scripted, because this wasn’t part of Dean’s characterisation or the writing plan at all, which is what takes us forward. The throwaway line by Jensen doesn’t mean anything, what matters in terms of seeing how it’s going to be written moving forwards is what the writers write and that all makes perfect sense. It’s all the BLUE ie. who Dean really is underneath all the crap and that Dean is beautiful.

[miximax-hell]

There have been people, some truly wonderful souls, who have followed my blog during my long period of absence. For that, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don’t deserve that kindness. With that out of the way, hello! Once again, it’s been so long... And that’s exactly we won’t delve in the past now. Let’s get right to it!

Today’s miximax is one that can barely be recognised at all unless you’re specifically told who the vessel and aura are. So, just in case my handwriting is THAT awful, we’ll be talking about Sakuma’s miximax today! For him, I’ve chosen a wonderful character that is, quite literally, part of the history of videogames as a whole. After the news about a new Smash coming soon, the promise of Metroid Prime 4 for Switch, and the very successful (AND SPANISH) remake of Metroid II, it feels like a great time to bring Samus Aran into the battle! The coolest intergalactic bounty hunter there ever was makes for a very simple-looking miximax, but it was still quite tough to draw because of RUST. Ah well. No one to blame but myself.

Anyway, I think this deserves a proper explanation, so let’s see why these two make for a fantastic combo! For more on that, please check under the cut. As usual.

Well, you’ve made it this far, so let’s delve a little in the past now. ww Just yesterday, I finally finished writing my graduation thesis!! That means I’m finally free... for a little while. Just enough to enjoy half a month of debauchery AND SPEND TIME WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, WHOM I MISS VERY MUCH. Oh, and my internship ended about two and a half weeks ago, too. While I am free in that sense as well, I can’t say I’m a scriptwriter and game designer right now, which kinda sucks. But they might still hire me...! And I’m ruminating some exciting ideas of my own. I highly doubt the company I worked for will be interested in them, but, well, it’s worth a shot. And good practice, in any case. So, yeah! I hope you’ve all been well!

Anyway, let’s get right to it. A single paragraph of my life struggles was enough. ww

This is still a fairly small blog with less than 100 followers. And it will always be because of how niche it is. ww Not only that, but most of said (active) followers aren’t even friends of mine, but the aforementioned kind souls who, somehow, grace me with their presence here. That means that, for example, if I were to go on Twitter to talk about my projects for this blog (as I’ve done a couple of times in the past), only one or two of my friends would give a crap about it. And that’s assuming they see those specific tweets at all! Otherwise, the reactions I get are non-existent unless I’m specifically mentioning someone. And even that is far from being failproof. So, whenever I want to share my ideas with someone, develop them through conversation or brainstorm, there’s only one person I can rely on: my lovely girlfriend. She’s patient and super supportive of my work. Bless her soul. I’m so in love with her.

Anyway, thanks to how much I’ve ranted to her about SakuSamus, I’ve already typed down most of what needs to be said about why I think these two work so well together. I can also get away with mostly copying and pasting what I already told her over Skype and simply adjusting it a bit to make it more readable as a blog post and adding some extra details. ww So, let’s get to it!

Coming up with proper combinations for this blog can sometimes be a chore and require a lot of overthinking. However, as the wonderful @miyukiko​ would say, great ideas suddenly come to you sometimes. This had a bit of both. I'll try to skip the uninteresting bits of the creative process, but this is the important part.

Now that we've seen Sakuma in Ares and he's obviously won a lot of... prominence, if you may put it that way, it felt like a good time to take a closer look at him. Sakuma is a forward, and a pretty talented one, at that. When he becomes captain in the Ares timeline, though, his team comes to rely on him on a much deeper level too. Or so it seems, at least. To top it off, his descriptions in the original games say that he helps Kidou and acts as a strategist that coordinates the team. That’s pretty much the base we can build upon.

As a forward, he seems pretty thorough and tries to stay cool and calm, since that's the kind of soccer they play at Teikoku. And, from what we've seen in Ares, as a captain, he worries so much about his team's well-being and about being a good leader for them. You know, the usual "Am I fit to be captain?" thing that IE loves so much. ww

But there's a lot of bad stuff about Sakuma, too.

For one, despite his cool act, when he loses it, he loses it good. We all know how he reacted when he was part of Shin Teikoku and how extremely mad he would get with Kageyama, for example. Also, when he does lose it (and, arguably, even when he’s still somewhat sane), he's very self-destructive.

I think that's somehow linked to his fears: he simply doesn't want to be left alone. He panics when Kidou leaves Teikoku and, again, loses it completely. When his insanity reaches that kind of point, nothing else seems to matter, so he goes all out even if it can cost him his life. Or his legs, at least.

Related to that, and this is much more relevant in terms of sheer gameplay, he is extremely dependent of others.

He's supposed to be some super cool ace striker, but absolutely all of his shots are combo hissatsus no matter what timeline or age you’re looking at. Koutei Penguin 2gou and 3gou, Twin Boost, Death Zone, Deep Jungle... They all need 2-3 people, and, usually, Kidou's involved.

So, tough as it is to say, if Sakuma isn't by Kidou's side, he's subpar. And if he's all alone, he's basically worthless. And to add insult to injury:

He usually depends on people who aren't even forwards to score goals.

He is turned into a defender as an adult because, as I said, he's subpar as a forward if he's alone.

That makes Sakuma a very interesting case: in a universe that is all about the power you get from of your teammates, what he lacks is individuality. ...Especially when you consider that his only motivation to play soccer seems to be to play with Kidou. www

As he is, he's the absolute definition of support character. Pretty sad, if you ask me. (Oh. And many of his in-game hissatsus are very dirty and the referee complains more often than not about them. That counts too. ww)

So, here comes the difficult question: who can give Sakuma the strength, the individuality and, partially, the safety that he needs to be relevant without killing himself? After thinking about it for quite a long time, I felt like he could really use the power of Samus Aran.

(Not to go all BuzzFeed on you guys, but the answer would’ve surprised you if I hadn’t said it from the very beginning. ww)

On a technical level, Samus is strong af. Not only has she survived to and successfully finished every mission she's embarked on (as far as I’m aware), but she's pretty much exterminated full races, DESTROYED PLANETS and killed the same evil pterodactyl alien... thing that wants her dead like 11 times by now.

And what's more: she's done all of this completely alone. (Except maybe for Other M. I haven’t played that game yet, but it looked like there were more people, idk) All in all, she's a beast. But that's not all, of course. There are many heroes who go and do their thing alone. It could've easily been Lara Croft too, for example--at least in the original games.

Sakuma, as I said, seems to be driven by a will to be with Kidou and is very much dependent of other people. And when things go wrong and he loses it, he is... spiteful, to say the least. And I don’t know if you guys were aware of this, but Samus is 120% salt. I read a post about the hatred between Ridley and Samus that when Ridley was announced for Smash and all, but I sadly can’t find it right now. If any of you guys know that post, please let me know and I’ll add the link here because it was SO GOOD.

According to my limited knowledge on the Metroid Series, Samus fights three main things: metroids (you never saw that one coming, I'm sure), space pirates, and Ridley (who is the leader of the space pirates, but is not a space pirate because I, too, would listen to my Evil Pterodactyl Lord if he were to give me orders).

Long story short, the space pirates and Ridley killed Samus’s parents. She was adopted by people from a civilization called the Chozo, but the space pirates killed the Chozo too. And when Samus found a baby metroid that saw her as its mother, the space pirates and Ridley kidnapped the metroid and it eventually died because of them.

Samus doesn't fight for the greater good. Samus fights because she's fucking pissed.

But, unlike Sakuma, she uses that rage against the right people and in the right way: she is still salty as hell, but she stays cool, kicks ass, makes everyone go boom, and she's out. She does what Sakuma does, but better. Even when she's pissed. Oh, and she does things the way they should be done: with legal permission, without turning evil and stuff. And she's super respected and feared because of it, which is precisely what a captain and a forward should be like, respectively.

And the icing on the cake?

In IE3, when Sakuma has levelled up enough, he learns how to use Space Penguin. also, Samus has a visor thing that can replace Sakuma's patch and that sounded cool to me

Anyway, that would be the gist of it! As I said earlier, I’m not the biggest Metroid connoisseur in the world: I’ve only beaten Fusion and Zero Mission, and I’m currently playing Prime and Return of Samus. As such, excuse me if some other game I haven’t played debunks all I’ve said, but I haven’t found any traces of such a thing. ww

However, despite my few experiences with Metroid games, Samus is a character I love and have very fond memories of. This series represent what I love the most about the video game genre: that sense of continuous and hard-earned improvement that only comes from experiences that are constantly giving you new abilities (and even new looks) to reflect your progress. It’s similar to RPGs, a genre I love as well, but RPGs reward you more for personal progress and dedication, such as grinding for levels, and not (usually) so much for just pushing forward and defeating bosses.

Last (and least), for those who have made it this far, here’s a little something you might be interested in knowing: I’ve been inactive here, but I’m still constantly trying hard to come up with interesting ideas for miximaxes! And I think I have found some cool stuff for both Kidou and Shishido, so feel free to tell me on which of those you’d like me to work on next. They’re both very challenging to draw and fiddle with, but I’m always happy to shift my priorities in any way you guys want me to. ww