#nalgenewhore

[nalgenewhore]

give her his onliness

elide x lorcan, canon-divergence/circus era, NSFW + feelings, shifting allegiances, word count: 5347

It’s hot, and the smoke in the air mixes with the humidity to form this oppressive fog. 

Lorcan feels like he hasn’t had a full lungful of air in days. The weather tightens the lead on his temper, and he’s forced to bite back a snappish remark every other minute. 

He’s laying on the riverbank now, his shirt, boots, and socks discarded beside him. Once the sun goes down, he’ll be forced to put on that sticky, dust-collecting oil and go back on that pathetic stage to entertain the peasant masses. He is not a gifted nor humble performer, but that doesn’t deter the bold and foolish few who proposition him after. 

As if he could want any of them. 

He knows now what it means to really desire someone, and not only as a means for his pleasurable ends. Since that night in the oracle’s tent, he thinks of one thing only, dreams of one thing only.

There's rustling in the trees across the river. He slits open his eyes, making no other movement, to find the subject of his desire. 

Elide puts her hands on her hips. His lips twitch - she’s so wondrously stubborn, a trait he would loathe in anyone else. She actually bared her blunt teeth at him once, the brave little thing. 

“I know you’re awake,” she accuses him. “We have work to do, you know.”

Lorcan shuts his eyes again. “I am not eager to return,” he says. “If you are, feel free to go.”

The next thing he hears is a soft splashing, and then she’s standing over him. Elide drops her skirts. “What are you doing?”

“I believe it’s called relaxing.”

She nudges him with her foot, and faster than she can react, he captures her ankle. She gasps, hopping slightly to retain her balance. Lorcan lets go when she stumbles so he can catch her falling. Elide glares at him. “You did that on purpose, you brute.” Her small palms are pressed into the muscles of his chest. 

“Sit,” he says. “Relax.” He sets her down on the rocks beside him. “We have time.”

Elide huffs a humourless chuckle at that. They don’t, really. They can pretend they do, they can carve it out of stone. He sees the tension around her eyes melt; she relents in silent agreement. 

She exhales a sigh that’s too weathered. Lorcan reclines once more and reaches out to press his hand against her back. It may seem casual to an outside view, but the touches between them are never casual. She relaxes when he strokes her spine with his thumb. “It’s too hot,” she complains.

“Take off your clothes.”

“Lorcan!” she snaps, twisting to glare at him. The heat makes her irritable. 

He lifts his hands. “I won’t be anything less than a gentleman.”

“You don’t know the meaning of the word.”

He chuckles, “I am not propositioning you. It’s hot, and the river is cool. Bathe in it.” Her eyes are still narrowed. “I won’t look.”

For some reason, that doesn’t eliminate the irritation lining her face; it switches to something else, equally bothered. Lorcan shuts his eyes, too tired to decipher whatever that means. He listens to her stand, and then articles of clothing drop onto the stones, something landing on his chest.

He keeps his eyes shut as she walks away, her steps uneven. Lorcan sends out a little strand of his magic to brace her ankle. Elide hums a bit, and the water splashes as she runs forward with a laugh he seldom hears.

It makes a crooked smile appear on his face. Her joy, to him, is something precious, which he doesn’t fully understand. For the first time in a while, not knowing something doesn’t bother him; he lets it be as it is.

“Lorcan,” she calls him.

“Hmm?”

She clicks her tongue, “Lorcan.”

She wants something, his attention maybe, and he knows it. He smirks to himself. “Yes?”

Next, she does something he doesn’t expect and splashes him. Lorcan sits up with a raised brow. Elide looks back at him with a coy smile, delight shining in her eyes. She moves her hands to splash him again, and he warns her, “Don’t you dare.”

Elide cocks her head to the side. “No?” She pushes the water harder, some of it hitting his torso. 

Lorcan stands up, fully ready to charge her and make her regret it, but something tears her gaze from his. She backs away, but not from him, with wide eyes. “Lorcan,” she whispers. He turns and sees that snivelling man, Nik, skulking in the brush. 

Anger rolls through him, and no small amount of fear - how did not sense another’s presence? Lorcan moves in front of the mortal man, his lips curling back from his teeth. “What do you think you’re doing?” He looms over Nik, ready to wrench the man off his feet, but Elide as his ever-present observer curbs his murderous urge. “Spying on another man’s wife while she bathes?”

“I- I--”

He reaches down anyway and pulls him to his feet so he can shove him backwards. “Leave, or I will rip your eyes from your skull,” Lorcan seethes. He lowers his voice so Elide can’t hear. “Do not push me, boy. If you think you’ve learned what pain is, I guarantee I can prove you wrong.”

Nik scrambles away, and the scent of his fear makes Lorcan’s nose wrinkle. He watches the man until he’s gone, then faces Elide.

She’s coming out of the river now, stumbling because her arms are wrapped around herself. Lorcan goes to help her. “Elide.”

She shakes her head and lets him pull her close till their bodies press together. Elide won’t look up at him.

“You’re alright,” he tells her.

She doesn’t respond.

Lorcan loosely holds the side of her neck, his thumb brushing her jaw. “Look at me,” he says softly. With a roll of her eyes, she does what he says. He strokes her jaw again. “You’re alright. I’ll always make sure of that.”

Slowly, she nods, her hand lifting to hold his wrist. “I know.” It seems like she means her words.

Whatever peace they found in this oasis has been ruined, and they won’t stay here anymore. He hands her his shirt to dry herself with, but Elide ends up donning it. Lorcan doesn’t let his surprise show as she folds back the sleeves.

He collects the water pails and doesn’t let her carry anything. They’re silent as they return back to camp. Nik avoids them, the only smart thing he’s done today. 

Lorcan has no time to talk with her more because Ombriel steals her away to dress her in that ridiculous costume and Molly snaps commands at him. 

✵✵✵✵✵

Outside, Molly rings the big bell to signal the end of the night’s show. 

Elide wears a brittle smile as she ushers her last customers out of the tent. The minute the fabric doors fall back into place, she rips the gods-forsaken headdress off. She hobbles towards the back where she stashed a jug of water and some cloths. The thick make-up she wears feels like a mask.

She wets a rag and drags it over her cheek, scrubbing at the white paste. She has no idea how something can be both oily and tacky at the same time. 

She’s so wrapped up in her need to feel clean that she doesn’t notice the figure approaching from behind.

A hand lands on her shoulder, and she nearly jumps out of her skin. 

Elide whirls around with a soft shout, her hand dropping to the knife stashed in her waistband. 

“Woah,” Lorcan says, realising his mistake. He backs away with his hands raised. “It’s me, just me.”

Her eyes fall shut. She sighs and reaches out to push his stomach. “Don’t do that.” Elide steps closer to him, needing a refuge. When Lorcan backs away, shirking her presence, she gives him a hurt look.

He shakes his head, explaining, “I’m covered in oil and sweat.” He rolls his shoulders. “I need to clean myself.”

“Here,” she passes him a few cloths and a jug of water.

They work side by side in tandem, cleaning themselves as best they can. Elide wipes at her face until no more white paste comes off. There’s probably more, but she’s too tired to care. She sits down at the table and stares into nothing while Lorcan finishes up.

He joins her a little while later, his long legs stretched out. He’s looking at her, but his gaze is just a little bit off-centred. 

“What?”

“You have some more,” he says. Lorcan reaches under her chair to tug it closer; Elide gasps through her nose at the display of strength. “Let me get it.”

She indeed lets him. He’s gentle with the rag, softly wiping the spot behind her jaw and her ears. 

He watches her face, depthless eyes tracking every emotion even in their absence. “What’re you thinking about?”

She rouses slightly. Her gaze meets his, hopeless and flat. “I can’t stay here,” she tells him in a hushed tone. “I have to leave.” Elide rubs her sternum with the flat of her palm. “I feel it - in here. I’m not safe.”

“Because of him?”

“It’s not just- today.”

“Where will you go?”

Elide swallows. “Anywhere. I’ll make it work, I’ll find another way.” She lowers her voice even more but knows that he’ll hear it just fine. “They look at us like we’re commodities, Lorcan. They’ll sell us out to the highest bidder.”

“So you’re going?”

“As soon as I can,” she vows.

Lorcan looks at her with heavy eyes, saying something she can’t quite decipher. He puts the cloth down. “It’s late. Bed?”

Her lips quirk with an appreciative smile. 

They stand up to leave together, and Elide slips her hand in his elbow. As they walk out, she realises belatedly that her companion is still shirtless. It wrinkles her brow. She asks, “Where is your shirt?”

“Sold it. Got a silver piece this time.”

“Look at you,” she teases, her worry lifted for a moment. “What ever will they do without you?”

Lorcan glowers at the straggling circus-goers that stare at him. They’re shameless, barely even noticing the male’s supposed wife hanging off his arm. His nostrils flare when he sees a familiar piece of black linen clutched against some blushing farm girl’s chest. “Do they have any shame?”

“No, none,” Elide shakes her head.

He mutters something about manners, and she stifles her laughter against his arm. Who would’ve thought that Lorcan Salvaterre could say anything about other people’s propriety? He shrugs off her touch so he can wrap his arm around her. She allows a smirk to show. 

They stroll past the caravan and go further, their tent near the forest line. 

Just as they’re almost out of ear shot, someone stops them. “Where’s your earnings? We settle every night.”

Lorcan looks over his shoulder with flat eyes. “You’ve had my wife working since sunup, and now we will rest. You’ll get your cut in the morning.” He’s almost daring Molly to say something.

Elide tugs on his belt.

He shifts his eyes to her, and she softly shakes her head, telling him to let it go. He lets out a long suffering sigh. She pulls him along with her, too tired for any more conflict. 

Once they’re in the tent, Lorcan puts up a shield of his magic so that it will block any sound or signs of movement from outside even when the candles are lit.

He takes off his boots and pants before reclining on the thick bedroll. Lorcan stretches his arm over his eyes, listening to Elide undress. 

She lets out a long breath as she kneels. She swaps her heavy skirts for his buttoned shirt, bare beneath it. Next Elide begins the painstaking process of taking down her hair. The one kind thing Ombriel has done for her is give her a little bag of pins. She pats her coiled braids to find each little metal twine and pulls them out.

Once she’s sure they’re all out, she tries to uncoil her braid, but it holds fast. Elide tips her head back in exhausted frustration, groaning.

She senses more than hears her companion sit up. He passes his hand up her back till it braces the back of her head. Elide mumbles as she turns into him, “Do it for me.”

Lorcan doesn’t say a word as he looks over her scalp, picking out every pin she missed. Which, as it turns out, is quite a few. She thinks he’s going to stop now, but he also undos her braid. Elide leans her cheek against his chest. They sit in a comfortable silence, and he starts to stroke her hair. It’s slightly awkward at first, like he’s petting something, but it becomes more natural soon enough.

He asks when she hasn’t moved for a while, “‘lide? Are you asleep?”

She hums, “Not yet.” She lifts her head up. “Are you tired, Lorcan?” He raises a brow. “Because I am. I feel like I’ve been tired all my life.”

It’s wrong, he thinks, for someone her age to be wearied. He should not feel that her soul mirrors his. “Lie down,” he says. “I’ll let you sleep.”

They both know that’s not the kind of exhaustion she speaks of. His side prickles, cold now that she’s moving away. He returns to his spot and watches her when she reclines, about a foot of space between them. She curls on her side, facing him. Lorcan reaches out, “C’mere.”

Elide’s eyes open quickly. She looks surprised as she eyes his outstretched arm, the space he’s providing for her on his bedroll. She goes to the protection he’s offering. 

Despite the difference in their size, they fit together so well. The dip between his shoulder and torso provides the perfect crook for her cheek. She hesitates slightly, not sure where to put her arms. Lorcan drags his fingers up her forearm till their hands meet. 

They remain silent now. Elide looks up at his face. The flickering candlelight casts shadows across his harshly hewn features. His cheekbones jut out, just as proud as the aquiline ridge of his nose. She swallows when she stares at his lips, full and round. 

She wants to feel them against hers once more.

Elide moves a hand up to his jaw and turns his face towards hers. His eyes open, just a bit, a question in them. Before he can ask it, she kisses him. It’s a little off - she’s still new at this, unfamiliar with the mechanics of it all. 

Lorcan responds slowly, guiding the embrace into something smoother, less choppy. Elide feels herself sinking into it. She cups his face as he pulls her closer. He shifts onto his side so there’s more room for her to be pressed against him. 

The hand that held hers moulds to her waist. 

Her breath comes faster when he forces them to part. He stays close, though, and they share the same air. “What do you want?”

“You.”

He rubs her side. “Like how you wanted me the other night?”

She nods, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth.

“D’you want to fuck, Elide?”

She recoils at the term, denying its aggression. “No,” she says. Her eyes search his. “I want to be with you,” she presses her palm over his heart, feeling its thunderous beat. “I want you .”

His face softens. Lorcan brings her back to him for a gentle kiss. She doesn’t know why he does that. It’s like he’s trying to force her back by being too harsh.

Elide lets those thoughts float away. She parts her mouth when his tongue slides over her lips. 

His tongue against hers makes that tight, expectant feeling return to her belly and lower. He slopes a hand down her spine to her backside. She inhales through her nose, exhaling with a soft moan. 

When Lorcan pulls his mouth from hers, she lets out a disappointed sound that he quickly soothes, kissing her jaw instead. She tips her head up for further access, her hand curling around the back of his neck. “Yes,” she sighs, biting her lip as he sucks at her skin.

He teases her with the edge of his teeth and finds that one sensitive spot. She shudders slightly. 

Lorcan hums against her throat.

That spark blooms in her centre, making her twist her hips for relief. His hand moves to her thigh so he can bring her leg over his hips. Elide swallows, her breath faster. Slowly, she rocks her hips against him. She could cry at the reprieve it gives her.

“That’s it,” he murmurs. “Take what you want.”

It’s not enough.

She realises she spoke aloud when he lifts his head, now helping her movements. “Is that what you need?”

Elide shakes her head, chasing his lips. “More,” she mumbles against them. The feeling of his shirt against her skin is too warm now, she wants to feel his flesh instead. She scrapes her fingers down his chest, following the dark hair that trails beneath his waistband.

Lorcan catches her hand. In a quick motion, he’s got her flat on her back, wrist pressed against the padded ground. “I can give you more,” he swears. “I can give you everything.”

She nods, wanting that. She thinks he’s going to kiss her again, but he props himself up on an elbow. Elide waits in anticipation.

He fingers one of the buttons on his shirt, asking her permission. Elide nods again, battling against the urge to rut her hips against his thigh. 

As the shirt falls from her body, the cool air makes her shiver. His gaze falls to her chest, as he’s wont to do. She smiles to herself, slightly smug. Unlike the other times that people gawk at her body, she likes seeing the desire force the black of his pupils to overtake his iris. 

Lorcan drags the backs of his fingers up her stomach till he can grasp her breast. She curves her spine into his touch, a gasp falling from her lips when his thumb circles the peak. He lowers his mouth to the other one, lapping at it before pressing it against his teeth. 

Elide moans loudly before slapping her hand over her mouth. 

He looks up, then softly draws her hand away. “They can’t hear,” he promises. “The shield blocks it.” A strand of his magic snakes up her leg from her ankle. It feels cool against her hot skin. The inherent danger behind it makes her grow wet like last time. 

She squirms a bit. He kisses the heavy underside of her breast and then tracks his lips lower, to the cradle of her hips. Elide pushes herself up onto her elbows, “Whatareyoudoing?”

His thumb strokes the inside of her thigh, soothing. “Do you trust me, Elide?”

She nods choppily because she does, but she has no idea what he’s trying to do now, nor why he’s so far down. Lorcan presses his lips to the hollow of her hip, making her head tip back. “Oh.”

“Last time,” he murmurs, brushing kisses across her pelvis to the other hip. “I used my hand, remember?” She huffs a laugh - how could she not? He grins against her skin, then nips at the delicate flesh stretched over her hipbone. “I want to use my mouth this time.”

“People do that?” she asks, purely curious. “You would put-” she gestures, “down there? How?”

“With my tongue,” he says, then drags it over the junction between her leg and centre. “Or my teeth,” he bites her and sucks to create a little mark. “And my lips.” He kisses her then, hands sloping to the undersides of her thighs. 

“But… why?” Elide feels her cheeks growing red. She’s had it in her head her whole life that her own body is something to shy away from, an unfortunate embarrassment to deal with.

“I like making you feel good. And it will, I promise.” 

Elide nods as she breathes hard. “Yes.” She crashes onto her back, her arms giving up. He guides her legs over his shoulders, and when she doesn’t know where to put her hands, he guides them to his hair.

She grips the silken strands with a hum. 

Her eyes fly open when his thumb splits down her slit, his tongue lapping at that spot. She moans a bit, eager to watch him. 

She tries to pay attention as he uses his mouth on her, but with every moment, that arousal within her heightens till he’s stroking her towards that end - the climax.

His tongue dips inside her, curling against the front for a second. Then, he’s pressing sloppy kisses against her cunt. Lorcan’s hum vibrates through her. Elide gasps, not quite sure she’s breathing properly.

Apparently she’s moving too much since he bars a corded forearm across her lower stomach. She tries to push her hips against it, but he holds her fast.

Lorcan sucks on that little bundle of nerves, flicks the tip of his tongue against it. 

She starts babbling, saying all sorts of stuff but what comes out are repetitions of his name and ragged breaths.

Her release catches her by surprise, so much quicker than before. She feels her body tightening again and she stops breathing for a second. Elide pushes up on his arm without realising how tight her legs are around his head. Her fingers find purchase in his hair to pull ; she needs something to keep her on this earth.

“Oh, my gods,” she cries out. “Lorcan, Lor…”

He rises above her, and her legs fall to his hips, calves lying across his backside. Lorcan joins slowly, busy with tracking kisses up her torso. She slips her hands to the sides of his neck when he presses his lips to hers.

Elide blushes, realising she can taste herself. She notices a second or two later that she doesn’t mind it, actually. 

She opens her legs to let his body fit between them. One of his arms slips under her body and he winds his fingers in her hair. Their bodies grind together. She can feel that hardness beneath his undershorts. It makes her bite his bottom lip.

Lorcan chuckles, “Vicious.”

She grins against his mouth. Feeling bold, she trails her hand down his stomach. She relishes the way his body shudders, his head bending to watch her hand. Elide scrapes her teeth against his jaw and pushes her hand lower. 

He groans, pressing into the contact. “Lochan,” he bites out, his voice rough. “I, fuck…”

Elide nods even though he hasn’t asked her anything. “Please,” she says.

They part so they can both rid themselves of all clothes.

When they come back together, he kisses her deeply. Elide holds his shoulders, relishing in the way his weight bears on her. 

Lorcan fists himself to slowly drag his cock up and down her sex. Small noises fall from her lips, muffled by his, as he teases her. She moves her pelvis in time with him. “Please,” she repeats. “I want it.”

He hums, notching the head of his length inside her. Elide swallows. “You want it?”

She nods and is rewarded by another inch. “You want me?” he asks.

“Yes.” The word escapes her throat, desperate.

He continues like that, teasing her with a slow entrance while he asks her questions, only moving when she answers.

Elide feels like her lungs are in her chest when she’s taken all of him. She can feel him in her, and the walls of her sex flutter errantly. She puffs out some air, her eyes unable to focus on anything.

“Breathe,” he tells her, stroking her side. “Elide, breathe.” He inhales and exhales dramatically until she starts to copy him, her gaze locking on him. “Look at me, just me.”

She exhales shakily as he pulls out to thrust back in. Elide swears she’s trying to focus on him, but with every roll of his hips, her eyelids flutter. She wants to lose herself to this feeling. Whatever moment of peace they can steal away, she wants to stay in it.

“Lor,” she moans out.

He slips his arm under her knee and pushes it closer to her chest. He hits deeper now, each stroke rubbing against that spot inside of her. “Elide,” he pants, “Elide, Elide, Elide, darling.”

His breath is ragged and his head bows to press their brows together. Elide arches her back with a moan when he thrusts into her, her hands squeezing his shoulders. 

“‘lide, I promised to keep you safe,” whispers Lorcan, panting. “Elide, don’t go, don’t fucking leave me.” His voice is that of a broken person. It sounds like he’s on his knees before her. The most feared male throughout the kingdom begging her to stay. “I—“ he cuts himself off with a pleasured groan, his hand sliding down from her waist to grab her thigh, “I want—“

She presses her lips to his, hoping her answer was clear through her kiss. It’s hungry and deep like she’s trying to meld them into one being. Lorcan responds similarly, stilling inside of her with his hips pressed tightly against hers. A lump of emotions form in her throat and her eyes sting with tears. No one has ever wanted her to stay, no one has ever pleaded for her the way he does. Nobody, nobody, nobody, in her whole life. 

Tears leak past her lashes, trickling down her temples. He must realise because he draws back with a sharp inhale. Elide makes a sound of protest, wanting to tell him to ignore it, it’s not the time—

“Darling…” he murmurs. He hangs his head in defeat. “Don’t tell me. If you’re going, don’t tell me.”

She blinks up at him, her hands cupping the sides of his face. “Look at me,” Elide says softly. 

Lorcan shakes his head, mumbling something indistinctive. He tries to shift, to pull out of her, but Elide tightens her thighs around his hips. 

“Look at me,” she repeats. 

He slowly drags his gaze up to hers. 

“You are stupid,” Elide says. His brows draw together and she runs her finger over the crease that forms. “You are the stupidest male that has ever existed if you think that I-“ her voice catches and she sniffles, “would leave you .” He raises his head, stricken with wordless surprise. She rolls her eyes, clicking her tongue. “Och, you’re making me cry.”

A small smile glimmers on his lips, and Lorcan dips his face to kiss her soft skin. “Forgive me, darling.” She hums neutrally and he slowly rolls his hips, pulling out and filling her again. 

Elide gasps wetly, still tearful. Her hands immediately grab his shoulders once more as she squeezes her thighs around his hips. She lets out a low moan, her head falling back, “Oh…”

Her arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer. In this new position, she’s barely giving him any room to move, but he makes do. Elide thinks that the last time they did this, her first time ever, it was pleasurable and he satisfied her, but now, this is something else entirely.

She sighs into his ear, then bites the lobe. Lorcan’s teeth press into her neck, long canines almost breaking the skin. It makes her tip her head back again; she wants him to do it. Instead, he simply kisses her pulse and whispers, “Not yet.”

A moan breaks from her throat, maybe it’s the implicit promise or his touch, but whatever it is, Elide wants more. She tries to squeeze her legs tighter, wanting him closer, wanting him deeper. “Lorcan,” she pants. She makes a frustrated sound.

“Mm, what? What d’you need?”

“More.” She swallows. “You, I need you.”

Lorcan swears to her, “You have me.” He’ll give her anything she asks for, go to any length to preserve her contentment. He’ll bleed out to see her happy smile, one she wears in utter serenity. Just to stop himself from telling her, he kisses her. 

Elide arches into him as she inhales sharply. She slides the pink tip of her tongue across his lips, which part on an exhale. Their embrace grows deeper and brings them even closer. 

His weight bears on her when he grinds his hips against her pelvis. Elide shudders a bit, feeling it float out there - it’s so close. She whimpers softly and pulls away to stare up at him. His laboured breaths fan over her cheek. 

An attempt is made to tell him, needing someone to ground her. Her mouth won’t form the words, though, and it gets harder to think, her mind fuzzy. 

Lorcan nods. He understands her. “I know,” he murmurs. “Just feel it, it’s alright, darling.” He fucks into her a little harder, losing his control, and she moans, a wild and loud sound. “Let it come, ‘lide.”

She shuts her eyes when her body starts to tighten. Air doesn’t leave her chest as easily, and she thinks she’s about to faint. “Please,” she sighs. “I,” she swallows, “I want it…”

Elide cries out his name as she finishes. He bites her at the peak and lets his canines break skin. She holds the back of his neck so tight her nails make crescents. Through it, his hips don’t still, which both prolongs her pleasure and overwhelms her scrambled mind. 

She gasps when he reaches his own end, pulling out quickly. Lorcan cums with his face in her shoulder, his fingers digging into her hard. Elide blushes when she feels his spend smearing across her stomach.

The tent fills with the sounds of their uneven breathing. They lie together as sweat and his release cools rapidly. 

Goosebumps appear on the sides of her thighs. She grunts softly, nudging Lorcan. His hand rubs the outside of her leg. “What is it?”

“I’m cold.”

He presses his lips to the purpling skin where he dug his teeth in. He whispers an apology that she shakes her head and pulls his face up to kiss. “Don’t, I wanted it.”

He groans with some frustration. They exchange soft pecks until she knows they must part. Elide hated this part last time. She felt alone the second his back turned, even though he was only fetching her a shirt and a cloth to clean her with. 

This time, she still feels off but doesn’t fear being abandoned. Her body sinks into the thick bedroll, and she hugs her arms over her chest to stave off the chill. She lets her eyes fall shut; they’re begging for it. If she tries, she still might not move at all.

“Darling,” he says softly. Her heart warms at the term, and she lets him pull her up. Lorcan tosses a scrap of fabric into the corner after wiping her stomach clean. Elide feels sluggish as he helps her into his shirt once more, a different one this time. He smooths her hair back.

She smiles a bit, then pitches herself against him. “Sleep?”

Lorcan hums in agreement and they lie down once more. She curls against his side. He’s never been one for intimacy post-coitus, but with her he wraps her in his arms so she’s pressed into his chest. A blanket covers them and could offer her sufficient warmth, yet he endeavours to keep her close. His hand fits in the cradle of her waist.

Elide idly traces the line of his collarbone, tiredness forcing her words to slur. “Will you come with me?”

“I will.”

“For how long?”

“However long you want,” he murmurs, a vow.

She wonders outloud, “What if I want you forever?”

“I will be with you always.”

She smiles against his hot skin and drifts off with a warm feeling in her chest. When they wake to steal away before the sun, she’ll realise that it’s hope.

✵✵✵✵✵

an: ive had the last scene rolling around my head for a while but didnt know where to fit it, so im pretty happy abt finishing this! we'll see if this writing/posting thing continues but i am headed into finals soon soooo boo!

tag list: @sassyhobbits @empress-ofbloodshed @celestialend @the-regal-warrior @shyvioletcat @icecream52 @elentiyawhitethorn @goddess-aelin @julemmaes @sunshinebingo (lmk if u want to be added/removed)

[sassyhobbits]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @nalgenewhore PLEASE ENJOY UR EXTRA SPECIAL ELORCAN I HOPE YOU LOVE IT. LOVE YOU AND HAVE A SUPER SLAY BDAY💅

[manonslayme]

Honestly thank god for @nalgenewhore and the way she writes Elorcan, she’s the only reason I ship Elorcan in any way, shape or form

She understands that the true Elorcan vibe is “small menace to society who will cut you x large dangerous man who is giggling and twirling his hair when she looks at him”

[fineosaur]

i was tagged by @salty-wench , thank you so much MJ, to post my nine favourite albums. this is possibly the hardest tag i’ve done cause there’s no such thing. so here are some of my favourites but there are so many more !

from top left:

the balcony - catfish and the bottlemen

master of reality - black sabbath

broken machine - nothing but thieves

hypersonic missiles - sam fender

revolver - the beatles

mechanical bull - kings of leon

obscured by clouds - pink floyd

lungs - florence and the machine

my head is an animal - of monsters and men

these are not at all niche i’m afraid. i am a basic bitch and i‘ve accepted it. i love albums so i can’t even hold myself to this list but i highly recommend. there’s a rock/alt trend for me here when it comes to my favourites.

i love music tags, lemme try tag nine people:

@ fabienne, i always forget how to write your url please see this lol! @stompandhollar, @brewsterispunkk , @nalgenewhore , @to-end-all-wars , @wexpyke , @sneetchstar , @baejoys , @agameofstarks

edit : @go-catch-a-chickn (this came into my notes and i remembered your url. sometimes i write “to-catch…” or just “catch-…”

[medievalwife]

tagged by @lesbianjudasiscariot to share some songs im currently into 🩷🩷🩷

1.

2. (my nephew loves this song we watch the video every night. he’s 7 months old btw)

3. (better than the original)

4.

5. (i love recession era music so much)

tagging: @expromqueen @number1girl @redrobbrivers @nalgenewhore @legallybrunettedotcom

[expromqueen]

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people.

Tagged by @princessyuwa

Every Time We Touch - Cascada

XO - Beyoncé

Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

Realer - Megan Thee Stallion

Only Love Can Save Us Now - Kesha

Mata Hari - Efendi

Qué Más Pues? - J Balvin, Maria Becerra

U Make Me Sick - HOLYCHILD

End Of Time - Zara Larsson

EAT ME - Demi Lovato ft. Royal & the Serpent

Natural Born Sinner - In This Moment

Tagging @number1girl @saweetiegf @redrobbrivers @legallybrunettedotcom @arsonice @rhymingwithpurple @girl-bateman @krelboynemp3 @horrorlesbians @modernbaseball @nalgenewhore

[shyvioletcat]

A/N: I needed to just write something and this is what came out. I have been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy so we can blame that for the somber beginning. That’s all. Thanks for reading. 

~~~~~

Rowan walked his way down the hallway to their apartment, feeling heavier than he had in a long while. Working as a paramedic there were good days and bad days, but today had been horrendous. He’d been on site for a multi-car accident, a number of the people involved hadn’t made it, and holy gods above one of them had been a kid. It was part of the job, but that didn’t make it any easier. Sometimes there was nothing Rowan could do to save the people he was called in to help, no matter how hard he or his team tried. That rationality never made it any easier. 

Letting out a deep sigh, Rowan unlocked the door and stepped inside. Immediately he relaxed, the familiarity soothing something in him. He dropped his car keys in the bowl by the door and walked further into the apartment. Having already showered and changed at the station he headed for the living room and flopped down on the couch. He didn’t bother flicking on the TV or pulling out his phone. Rowan just needed a quiet moment while he waited.

“Rowan, where’d you get to?”

Rowan’s lips tilted, just the smallest bit, at the sound of his fiancé’s voice. Aelin would find him eventually, their apartment wasn’t that big that he would be lost for too long. 

“Ah, there you are,” Rowan heard from behind him, then there were footsteps coming his way. “I was—”

Aelin stopped short when Rowan looked over at her. She looked stunning, as always. Her hair was loose and messy, and the outfit wasn’t anything special, just some loose shorts and a tank top. What Rowan really liked about the outfit was the way it accentuated the little baby bump she had. She was glowing, she was beautiful and he just loved her so much. 

“Bad day?” Aelin asked softly, moving to stand between his knees. 

She reached over and ran a thumb over his cheek and Rowan’s hand rested on where their baby was growing more every day. The thought of new life and all that joy that was in store for them compared to the day he’d just been through had emotion cloying in his throat. Rowan closed his eyes, letting Aelin ground him, knowing she saw everything he was feeling. When her lips brushed over his forehead his eyes opened, landing on Aelin’s face. 

“What do you need?” Her brows were furrowed in concern and Rowan couldn’t bear that to have her sad too. 

Gently, he pulled her down by the waist and Aelin willingly complied, settling in his lap. Rowan brushed her hair back, his thumbs brushing over her face like she had just done for him. 

Rowan sat up a little and Aelin lent down for a kiss. “Just smile. I really need you to smile right now.” He needed to see something that made the world seem brighter.

“Oh, Rowan,” Aelin whispered, and she looked at him for a moment longer before a sweet smile swept across her lips. “I can do that for you.” 

“You are too good to me.”

That made Aelin’s smile widen and turn into something more mischievous. It could have brought a hint of irreverence to the situation, but it was so entirely Aelin that all it did was make Rowan’s heart flip in his chest. 

“Do you want to hear about the dumbassery that Aedion got himself into today?” Aelin asked as her hand rested over his heart. 

That made Rowan laugh, and it was the utter delight in Aelin’s voice that sold him. He sighed again, this time it was in content. Gods, this woman would always be the balm to his weary soul. 

He settled with his head resting on the cushioned back of the couch so he had the best view of the joy that would play out on Aelin’s face. “I would love to.”

When Aelin smiled again, Rowan couldn’t help but smile too. 

~~~~~

Tags: @fucking-winchester-trash // @literary-licorice // @galyxsy // @tangledraysofsunshine // @highqueenofelfhame // @3am-reading // @soup-that-is-too-hawt // @aelinfire-bringer // @nalgenewhore // @highladyofthesith // @http-itsrebecca // @sleep-and-books // @alifletcher2012 // @westofmoon​ // @sleeping-and-books​ // @ttakeitbacknoww​ // @armixers-unite // @mariamuses​ // @chocolate-eating-bitch-queen​ // @velarian-trash​ // @queenofxhearts​ // @heroesofterrasen​ // @highladyofstoriesandmusic​ // @empire-of-wildfire​ // @camerooonchiu​ // @crackedship​ // @lowhangingtreebranches // @over300books​ // @yourwhisperingshadows​ // @thesirenwashere // @tswaney17​ // @impossiblescissorspeachpaper​ // @cat5313​ // @judelovescardan​ // @flowerspringsea​ // @chaoticskyy​ // @the-regal-warrior​ // @fanfictrash3000​ // @blueeyes425​ // @starseternalnighttriumphant​ // @bamchickawowow​ // @thehuntressofmoon // @giorgia-the-trashpanda​ // @flora-and-fae​ // @thereaderandfangirl​ // @illyrian-bookworm​ // @chemicha​ // @meltalgel // @gay-book-nerd​ // @that-odd-puzzle-piece​ // @i-love-all-books // @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato​ // @girl-who-reads-the-books​ // @hizqueen4life​ // @the-third-me​ // @1islessthan3books​ // @bestmelle​ // @cursebreaker29​ // @b00kworm​ // @superspiritfestival​ // @aesthetics-11​ // @maastrash​ // @mynewdreamwasyou​ // @the-last-apprentice​ // @charincharge​ // @firestarsandseneschals​ // @scarznstars​ // @absolute-dissapointment // @thesurielships​ // @df3ndyr​ // @trinitybailey2003 // @gwynethhberdara​ // @booknerdproblems​ // @larisssss​ // @sevenfreckles-for-sevenloves // @rolltide7​ // @scandinavianromantic // @tillyrubes10​ // @starwarsslytherin // @minaidss // @paytin77​ // @jesstargaryenqueen​ // @anntheintrovert​ // @starbornvalkyrie​ // @loudphantomdragon​ // @woollycat22 // @claralady​ // @perseusannabeth​ // @fangirlprincess09​ // @maddymelv // @sierrareads​ // @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx // @jlinez // @lysandra-ghost-leopard​ // @rowaelinismyotp​ // @pullnpeeltwizzlers​ // @anne-reads // @jadeaffliction​ // @gracie-rose // @elriel4life​ // @rowaelinrambling​ // @tothestarswholistentodreamers // @thenerdandfandoms // @castielspelvis​ // @swankii-art-teacher​ // @grandma-noob-lord​ // @vanzetanze​ // @highlady-brittney​ // @story-scribbler​ // @linguine-panini // @pastasiren​ // @surielandiareendgame // @silentquartz​ // @live-the-fangirl-life​ // @whimsicallyreading​ // @goddess-aelin​ // @littleboxofthunder​ // @empress-ofbloodshed​ // @booksbqueen // @rowanwhitethornisbae​ // @charlizeed​ // @feysand-loml​ // @aelin-queen-of-terrasen​ // @alyx801​ // @amandaswallowtail​ // @louiseleblancdiggory​ // @abookishfreak // @danibutterr​ // @thegreyj​ // @lizzyfirebringer // @endlessdaydream​ // @magnifique1807​

[hlizr50]

Obsessed with your Elorcan stories. I was in my feels about them I miss those 2 dopes and loved that I found these! If you have any fic suggestions for them I would appreciate it! 🥰

I miss them every day, and there are not enough fics to satisfy my need. But I'll try to give you some good ones.

@headcanonheadcase has multiple that you'll love, including Carry Me Home (AU), Take My Shirt, and A Logistical Nightmare

Midnight Kiss by @tealnymph-writes (I may be biased bc this was a gift for me lol, but I LOVE it)

Run to Me, Lover by onwards_outwards

Threads of Fate by @mystical-blaise

Run by alifletcher2010

It'd Been Three Weeks by PropShopHannah

Any number of drabbles and oneshots by NalgeneWhore and @writtenonreceipts

There are so many good ones, but these are the ones I'll give you now ;)

[writtenonreceipts]

🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times

💘 A fic you couldn't stop reading once you started

📚 A fic you wish you could display on your bookshelf

💚

❤️❤️❤️❤️

🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times ---of course there are so many more, this is deff not a comprehensive list of them all      >> It Takes Two and Striking Matches, shyvioletcat      >>Dark Roast No Sugar -- @whimsicallyreading      >> Quarentine Questions @seasonofthewicth      >> any of @nalgenewhore s elorcan oneshots      >>and pretty much anything by @highqueenofelfhame too, sometimes i’ll just sit and go through all of her fics. 

💘 A fic you couldn't stop reading once you started ---there are soo, so many.  i tried to find a few of the ones that are a little lesser known/different from what i usually recommend.      >> We Have Buried the Putrid Corpse of Liberty by Mabelt      >> Secrets Don't Make Friends -- @thewayshedreamed      >> Hot Chocolate with Cinnamon by WordsAndWishes      >>Long Story Short by @the-lonelybarricade      >> A Light in the Dark by joarch      >> @house-of-galathynius -- Sacred Hearts      >>@goddess-aelin -- Little Did I Know      >>Spirit Meets Bone - @moononastring // small disclaimer, it’s an eris fic and while eris is not my fav, i think gigi is such a talented writer and Iris is a queen that I can't help but enjoy this fic and the way she approaches the characters and plot.      >>Wedding Break - @backtobl4ck   

📚 A fic you wish you could display on your bookshelf

>>ummm, all of them?? there's so many amazing writers. literally any of the ones i've mentions already

i’ll end up rereading and reblogging a crap ton of fics now...

[nalgenewhore]

stubborn love

elide x lorcan, modern au/coworkers + semi-established + sickfic <3 word count: 4070

She managed to contain herself until Darrow left her office, but the minute the glass door swung silently shut behind him, Elide slumped down on her desk. The cool wood offered a small relief against her heated cheek.

Her peace shattered less than a minute later when someone re-entered her office. Elide forced herself to sit up. The quick change in positions made her dizzy, and she blinked hard a few times. Finally, her gaze focussed on Aelin, who was looking at her like something was very, very wrong. 

Elide suppressed a feverish chill. “Is something wrong?”

“Um, yeah,” her coworker exclaimed, rounding the table with outrage twisting her face. Aelin reached forward and pushed her hand against Elide’s hot face. “Fuck, El, you’re burning up. How did you even make it out of your apartment?”

Flapping her hand dismissively, Elide said, “It’s only a cold.”

Aelin gave her a look, “It was a cold last week, but you couldn’t take it easy and insisted on being in court for eight hours a day three days in a row.”

Before she can say something in her defence, Elide’s poor body was wracked with a coughing fit. It rattled the mucus in her lungs, and she didn’t protest when Aelin passed her a box of tissues to wipe her mouth. “I’m fine,” Elide wheezed. “Just tired.”

“Elide—”

“I’m really, really ok,” she insisted. She braced her hands against her desk to rise to her feet. “And I have to be in court in an hour.” For the past month, she’d been busting her ass over this case, and she’d be damned if she didn’t show up all because she had a sniffle.

Aelin guffawed, “You can’t possibly think you can go to court right now.”

Elide arched her brow as if to say Well? She shouldered her leather briefcase. At least today was only the arraignment, so Elide didn’t have to lug an attché of heavy, heavy files to the courthouse. “It’s my job.”

“Let your boyfriend do it,” her friend held a hand up to Elide’s guffaw. “And you look like you’re on death’s door.”

Her cheeks flushed at the mention of Lorcan. Elide looked at the floor, mumbling, “He’s not my boyfriend.” They had only been seeing each other for about a month. Even if Elide could admit to wanting to call him her boyfriend, she didn’t know that he’d like it. She hauled against her office door, then stood still as Aelin walked out. “If it means that much to you,” Elide said, trying to hide how shallow her breaths were, “I’ll take the day off after the arraignment.”

Before Aelin could argue against that, a deep voice interrupted them. “Hey. You ready to go?” Lorcan stopped just outside her office, looking at something on his phone.

Elide pinched the bridge of her nose to alleviate the pressure from the sinus build-up. “Yeah, just a minute.”

Lorcan frowned as soon as she faced him. “What the fuck happened to you,” he asked bluntly. He never was one for meaningless pleasantries, unless it was only them. Elide preferred thinking that what he said then wasn’t meaningless, though.

“It’s called a cold,” Elide informed him.

He pocketed his phone, running a critical eye over her. In a low tone, he asked her again, “Lee, are you sure?” He looked up at Aelin, who shook her head, before looking back at Elide. “You don’t look so good.”

Elide felt far too exhausted to argue anymore, but she dipped her chin once, “I’m sure.”

✵✵✵✵✵

In the underground parking garage, Elide hadn’t put up any fight when Lorcan insisted that he was driving them. 

They were stuck in a classic downtown Orynth gridlock. She slumped to the side, the window cold against her cheek.

“Lochan,” he said, obviously conflicted. “Please just let someone take you home.” He reached over and laid a heavy hand on her thigh. “I’ll take care of the arraignment.”

Elide hacked once, her stomach aching. “What,” she wheezed as she attempted an easy smile, “you still haven’t learned to share, hmm?” Her breath caught in her tender lungs.

“Elide.”

She gripped his hand, squeezing once, “You can take me home after.” He seemed mollified by that, at least enough to let Elide rest in silence. She never let go of his hand either.

Her eyes had only been shut for a minute, she swore, before someone was gently shaking her shoulder. 

Elide gasped, her lungs too feeble to let her get a full breath. She pressed her hand to her chest like it would make her lungs work.

A warm hand rubbed her back, accompanied by a deep voice. “Slow down. Just take slow breaths.” Elide did as Lorcan encouraged her to, and in a couple moments, her lungs had cleared enough. She collapsed against him to recover, breathing as deeply as she could. “We’re here.”

“Mmm, here, where?” she murmured, too comforted by his touch.

He chuckled a bit, “The courthouse.”

“Oh,” she hummed. Then it hit her, and Elide jolted, “Oh, shit!” She shoved the passenger door open, swinging her legs around. 

Palms flat against the hood of the car, Elide was wracked with feverish chills and glared half-heartedly at him. “Why did you let me fall asleep?” 

“‘lide, it’s ok,” Lorcan told her. “It was only a couple minutes.” He didn’t even let her look at her briefcase and shouldered it himself. 

Elide was sick enough that she let him do it without a fight.

They made their way slowly to the courtroom and met their client outside. Up until today, it had been mainly Elide conversing with the young woman. For all his prowess as an attorney, Lorcan had piss-poor social skills on a good day. However, Elide had to spend all her energy on not passing out and not erupting into another coughing fit, so she let Kaltain suffer through a few awkward minutes with Lorcan.

Luckily, they were summoned quickly. Elide sighed as the air conditioning hit her face. She got to sit, but only for a few minutes before the bailiff announced the judge. 

The courtroom spun as she rose to her feet. Elide swayed, catching herself on the edge of the table. She breathed hard, blinking to centre her vision. Her periphery started to darken. “Lor…” she spoke up weakly, her shaky fingers twisting into the hem of his suit jacket. “I don’t feel- I’m…”

The next thing Elide knew, she was seated outside the courtroom, head between her hands. Her tailor-made blazer laid on the bench next to her because she was burning up. 

Lorcan sat beside her, his body angled towards her. He rubbed her spine up and down, “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“We have work,” Elide protested. 

He was pissed, that was evident enough. “I don’t fucking care. You passed out.” He steered her down to his car, tucked her in the passenger side, and did her seatbelt up for her. Lorcan made sure she was alright before he took his seat behind the wheel.

Elide couldn’t let her duty go, not yet. She gestured behind them as he drove out of the parkade, “We- what about Kaltain?”

“The judge excused us till a later date.”

“Oh.” Elide shrunk a bit in her seat, cheeks burning for a reason besides her fever. What he’d told her earlier finally registered in her scattered mind. “I fainted?”

Lorcan reached for her hand, slipping his fingers through hers. He lifted their joined hands to kiss her knuckles and made Elide smile faintly.

✵✵✵✵✵

In the waiting room, Elide attempted to fill out the form herself, but Lorcan took one look at her shaking hand and said, “C’mere, give me that.” He sat in the uncomfortable chair next to her and let her slump against him. “Alright…” Lorcan perused the form, filling it out with no fuss. 

Elide watched him through slitted eyes. If she wasn’t so sick, she would mention something about his lack of hesitation. At points where Elide was sure he’d pause, ask her for a tidbit of personal information, Lorcan penned in the answer with his neat, concise script.

He wrapped his arm around her after handing the form at the ER desk. Idly, Lorcan kissed the top of her head. “They’ll see us soon, sweetheart.” She hummed, barely conscious against him. 

Lorcan was right, and they were shown into an exam room quickly.

Elide laid on the padded table in a thin hospital gown after the exam. She felt delirious as she scrolled on her phone, not listening to the doctor after it was determined she had bronchitis. Her temperature clocked in at thirty-nine degrees, her blood pressure was worryingly low, and her heart rate was sky-high. In spite of it all, Elide could not care less.

The doctor directed her spiel to Lorcan, giving him explicit instructions Elide was sure he’d follow strictly. He was given a slip of paper with her prescriptions on it. 

After a little while, the doctor left, and Elide griped as she had to redress in her corporate attire. Lorcan sympathised a bit, giving her a kiss on the forehead. She blinked blearily up at him, so damned tired and cold. He ran his fingers through her wavy hair. “I’m going to drop you off, then go get your medicine, alright?”

“I’ll be fine,” Elide rasped, her lungs rattling. “You don’t need to stay with me. I don’t want to bother anyone.”

Lorcan gave her a look of shock. “You’re not bothering me. Why would you think that?” Without waiting for any answer, he continued on, “I told Darrow, and you’re not allowed to even look at a file until you’ve been cleared by the doctors.”

She made a face, turning her head into his chest. Never before had she been this clingy with him, but she’d wanted to be. It wasn’t like Lorcan never offered her unsexual comfort either. “I don’t wanna go to my apartment,” Elide muttered.

He rubbed the back of her neck, soothing her, “You wanna go to mine instead?”

She nodded. She wanted to be surrounded by his comfort, his presence, not return to the pit that was her apartment. 

This time, Lorcan was more patient as he took her back to the car. He didn’t go as far as carrying her, but Elide could tell he wanted to. It didn’t take them long at all to get to his place. 

All of her energy had already been spent, and Elide barely had it in her to walk from the elevator to his door, much less get changed. Lorcan was gentle with her as he exchanged her sweat-damp clothes for a loose t-shirt and a pair of his boxers. 

She climbed into his bed, sighing at the feel of indulgently soft sheets and thick, yet fluffy pillows. Before she could stop him, Lorcan walked out. Elide croaked, too tired to call out. 

He returned after a minute with a thermometre. “Let me take your temp, and then you can sleep, sweetheart.”

Elide rolled her eyes, but she let him stick it beneath her tongue. It beeped after a minute or so, and Lorcan let her recline again. His mouth tightened, “Mmm, still too high.” He brushed her hair back. She hummed, leaning into his touch. “I’ll go get your meds now. What d’you want for dinner?”

“Not hungry.”

“You have to eat something,” he told her, still brushing his hand over her hair. “I’ll go by the deli if you want, get you some soup.” At that, Elide’s eyebrows rose high, and she looked thoughtful. Lorcan bit back a grin. He leaned down to kiss her temple. “Anything else?”

She smiled, “Coffee ice cream.”

“As you wish.”

✵✵✵✵✵

At the pharmacy, Lorcan was somewhat worried that there would be an issue with him picking up Elide’s meds. Yet, everything went smoothly. He went to the deli and to the convenience store for her ice cream. 

When he got home, Elide was still sleeping.

Lorcan let her be for a little while more as he got changed. He put the kettle on to brew some white willow bark tea as well as some honey-lemon. The pharmacist had given him an antibiotic, steroids, an inhaler, and some cough syrup with codeine. Elide wouldn’t like being woken up, but Lorcan had designated himself the role of her nurse, and he’d be damned if she didn’t get better. He knew her infection could turn into pneumonia quickly.

He padded into his bedroom with her collection of meds. Lorcan leaned over her, “‘lide, wake up.”

Elide groaned into his pillow in a very clear ‘fuck off’ gesture. 

Lorcan rubbed her back, coaxing her to roll over. He grinned at her peevish expression, “Hi, baby.”

Again, she groaned and tried to roll back over. 

“Uh-uh, c’mere,” he said, gently stopping her. Lorcan eased her up and wrapped his arm around her. “C’mon, lean on me.” 

As soon as she was seated, another coughing fit stunned her. Elide let a few tears escape, utterly drained. Her joints were throbbing, her head swimming. It hurt to stop coughing, but it hurt more to keep going. 

Lorcan gave her the inhaler first, and she panted around the taste of albuterol in her mouth. It helped her breathe a little more easily, though. “Here,” he picked up the bottle of cough syrup, cracking the lid. He poured out a tablespoon.

Elide sniffed at it distrustingly, then shook her head. “Smells gross.”

“Yeah, but you got that good shit with codeine.”

She rose a brow, looking at him with a small smile. Lorcan chuckled, then Elide dutifully downed the sickly sweet syrup. The synthetic cherry taste made her stick out her tongue in disgust, shuddering, “Nasty.”

“It’ll help,” he told her. 

And he was right. Elide barely made it through her soup, a round of her antibiotics and steroids, and a bite of ice cream before she fell asleep against Lorcan.

✵✵✵✵✵

The next couple days passed in a haze for Elide. Her fever persisted, making her brain fuzzy and unable to properly register what was happening outside of the periphery of her consciousness. Lorcan had relented after thirty-six hours, letting her move from his bed to his living room couch. He’d taken the week off of work to dote on her.

At first, she’d protested that, but he quickly shut that down. Elide decided if he insisted on fussing, then she would take full advantage of it.

Currently, she was curled in the corner of the couch. She sat supported by the armrest because she could breathe better upright. 

Elide coughed into her clenched fist, wheezing. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse played on the TV. She knew it was only because she was miserably ill that Lorcan hadn’t complained when she declared they were to have a Twilight marathon.

Lorcan came over from the kitchen with a new cup of tea. “How you feeling?”

“Horrible,” she said. She shuffled over to make room for him. After he sat, Elide crawled into his lap. She rested her face against his neck, her breathing congested. “This sucks.”

“I know,” he told her. Lorcan helped her sip some of her tea. “You should have a bath or shower after the movie’s done. Steam all that crap out of your head.”

Elide grinned lewdly, her head lolling back against his shoulder. “Someone’s eager to get me naked and wet, eh?” Her laughter was a wet, phlegmy rasp. 

Lorcan arched a brow at her, clearly unimpressed by her brush with comedy. She chuckled to herself as she drank the rest of her tea, and he just played with her hair.

Ten minutes later, Elide nestled closer to Lorcan. Sudden chills had come over her, making her shiver. “You cold?” He bent his head to look at her. 

She nodded.

“Alright.” He shifted her in his arms, then got up with her cradled against his chest. Lorcan carried her to his luxurious bathroom. It had a tub big enough to hold both of them reclined with room to spare, complete with jets and heated tiles.

As he prepared to draw her a bath, Lorcan set Elide down. He got her a fresh towel and hung it on the heated towel rack. Elide watched him with slitted eyes. Over the past few days, he’d done everything in his power to make sure she wanted for nothing. She could hardly move without Lorcan bringing her more tea or her favourite foods. When he brought her her medicine, he gently coaxed her to take it.

Elide didn’t know how to take it. On one hand, she liked this kind of treatment, but on the other, she had no idea what it meant. It could’ve just been because she was sick, so she didn’t want to ask about it.

Lorcan turned away from her as she got undressed, even though he was very well acquainted with her bare body. Elide thought his attempted chivalry was too funny, but she kept her thoughts to herself. He didn’t turn back until she was submerged in the steaming water up to her head. 

He brought her a glass of water so she wouldn’t overheat. He took her temperature again. 

“Better?” Elide croaked. “I feel better than yesterday.” She hadn’t moved all day, trapped in feverish hallucinations between Lorcan waking her up just long enough to take her medicine. 

“Mmm, yeah. Down to thirty-eight.” He smiled briefly. “We’ll break this fever soon.”

Elide lifted her hand, catching his. She smiled at him, “Good.”

After her bath, she felt drowsy, so he carried her back to bed. She took her meds, then reclined against a strategically constructed mound of pillows. Lorcan joined her, winding his warm body around her to ward off any chills. 

✵✵✵✵✵

Her fever stayed down overnight, although Elide woke up feeling like her lungs had been scrubbed with sandpaper. She was alone in bed, Lorcan elsewhere in the apartment. Elide’s entire body ached like she’d just run a marathon.

“Lorcan,” she croaked. “Lor…”

She could hear his footsteps jogging across the apartment before he appeared in the doorway. “Hey, you’re awake.” Lorcan came over to her side with a steaming mug. He helped Elide sit up before handing her the cup of elderberry and lemon tea. As she took a sip, Elide coughed with a whimper. He kissed her temple as he felt the back of her neck. “Temp feels good.”

“It hurts,” Elide mumbled.

“Hurts? Where, baby?” 

With a screwed-up expression, Elide gestured annoyedly at her body. “Everywhere.” 

He hummed, “I’ll get you some Tylenol.” Lorcan moved to get up, but she tightened her hold on his hoodie.

“I don’t want any,” she said. “Can you stay with me? What’re you even doing out there?”

Lorcan winced like he was reluctant to tell her. “I was, uh, just checking on some,” he averted his eyes, “cases.”

Elide’s eyes went wide, and she attempted to surge to her feet. “You’re working? Let me see.” Without much effort, Lorcan stopped her. He eased her back down, ignoring Elide’s complaints. “Lor, please, I just want to look.”

“You barely have enough energy to get through a movie, no way are you doing legal consulting,” Lorcan grumbled. He pinned her in place with a glare.

She wrapped her hands around his arm, leaning in to entice him. “Why don’t you work in here? I’ll behave.”

Lorcan snorted because he didn’t believe for a second that Elide could help herself. “Uh-huh.” She made her eyes wide, not above pouting a bit. He narrowed his gaze at her but cracked after five silent, tense seconds. “Fine. I’ll work in here, if you promise that you won’t even ask to look at anything.”

“I promise,” Elide beamed. She reclined against the headboard with her cup of tea.

Lorcan got up to bring his work into the bedroom. 

For the first while, Elide held up her end of the deal. She sipped her tea and laid next to him, not even stealing a peek at anything. The day before, Lorcan had gone to her apartment to get some of her things, including her laptop. She was watching Ted Lasso while Lorcan worked.

Once she finished her tea, though, Elide grew antsy. First, she closed her laptop and pushed it away. She wound her arms around one of his, resting her cheek against his bicep. “Whatcha doing?” she whispered.

“Working,” he answered flatly. He angled the paper away so she couldn’t see it. “Nothing you’d be interested in.” It was a laughable statement. When it came to jurisprudence, Elide was interested in it all.

Her eyes travelled up his profile. She regarded his glasses, resting on the straight, proud bridge of his nose. Elide smiled against his arm, “You look good in those glasses.”

“Mm.”

Elide hooked her thigh over his hip, ignoring how aching her joints were. She moved closer and figured she could use her feminine wiles to get her way. 

“It’s not going to work.”

She fell back with a whine, coughing once. “Come on! I’m literally asking for it, please?”

Lorcan just shook his head. “Nope.”

Elide stared balefully at the man beside her. He either didn’t notice her glare or was ignoring her, though she suspected it was the latter. He flipped through a thick bundle of paper. Every now and then he’d pause to mark something, or make a note on his legal pad.

She clicked her tongue, half-heartedly kicking his shin. “You’re being mean.”

“You promised you wouldn’t ask me about work,” he replied evenly. “And I don’t fuck sick people.”

Feeling miffed, Elide declared, “It’s funny how you care so much now when four days ago, you were perfectly happy fucking me in this bed.” 

Lorcan shut his eyes with a sigh. He opened them again, looking at her with unending patience. “Baby, four days ago, we did not fuck. I gave you head for, like, five minutes before you passed out for ten hours.”

The way that Lorcan measured her wellness against the length of time that he’d eaten her out had her smirking. She vaguely remembered that night, yet had assumed her foggy memory was due to further activities. Not until now had she linked that gap in her recollection to her illness.

Elide cocked her head to the side, “You stayed with me the whole night?”

“Of course I did,” he frowned. He put his work aside, turning over. Lorcan cupped her jaw and flicked his eyes over her face. “I woke you up and all you said was ‘too tired’ before you were out again.” He wrapped his arms around her, completely abandoning his work to hold her. “I didn’t sleep at all.”

A happy grin curled over her lips. “You were that worried about lil’ old me?”

Lorcan chuckled, idly rubbing her back up and down. “I’d like to think I’m the kind of man who cares about his girlfriend when she’s sick.”

Elide blinked once before her smile softened. She sunk deeper into his side, asking, “Girlfriend, huh?”

His hand paused. He looked down at her. “Well, yeah. We said we weren’t seeing other people, that we didn’t want to; it follows that that would make you my girlfriend.”

Sometimes, most of the time, her favourite thing about Lorcan was his brevity. She hummed a bit, nodding to herself. “What fine reasoning skills you have, Salvaterre.” Tracing a fingertip of his shirt collar, Elide said, “So, I suppose that would make you my boyfriend, then.”

“That conclusion is both sound and valid,” Lorcan answered, his voice lower. He dipped his head to kiss the underside of her jaw. “Love it when you talk logic to me, baby.”

Her laugh vibrated against his lips, and the rasping note reminded him of how ill Elide was. Reluctantly, Lorcan pulled himself up. Their faces were close, almost close enough to share a breath. He so desperately wanted to kiss her.

She could see in his eyes what he wanted. With more restraint than she thought she had, Elide turned her head away. “I’ll get you sick.”

“I can live with that.”

Elide rolled her eyes. She looked at him shrewdly, swayed by the curve of his plush lips. Before her reasoning could win out, Elide gave him a swift peck. “That’s all you get.”

“Tch, cruel thing.”

✵✵✵✵✵

an: @empress-ofbloodshed ok ok its not the one i told u abt but shes coming i swear (also jules i WILL work on that sneaky little mb outtake ok 🥺🤞)

tag list: @sassyhobbits @empress-ofbloodshed @celestialams @the-regal-warrior @shyvioletcat @icecream52 @elentiyawhitethorn @goddess-aelin (lmk if u want to b added/removed)

[number1girl]

emma @irisbythegoogoodolls tagged me to shuffle my on repeat playlist and post 10 songs so here they are 🤲

1. Losing My Religion - R.E.M.

2. Infinity Guitars - Sleigh Bells

3. Hot Girl - Charli XCX

4. On The Bound - Fiona Apple

5. Lydia Wears A Cross - Julia Jacklin

6. Bitch I’m Nice - Doechii

7. West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys

8. Saoko - Rosalía

9. Blood And Butter - Caroline Polachek

10. I’m That Girl - Beyoncé

tagging @expromqueen @saweetiegf @redrobbrivers @nalgenewhore @smileofacaffeinatedsaint if you guys want + anyone else who wants to peace and love

[sassyhobbits]

Vacation

happy new year!! here’s a cute lil oneshot to start it off. It’s part elorcan, part aelin and lorcan frienemies, with a dash of rowaelin. big shoutout to @nalgenewhore for letting me borrow stella for this fic <3.

~~~

Lorcan Salvaterre-Lochan scowled at the door he stood before, listening to the final cheery echoes of the bell fade away within the house behind it. His wife was beside him, holding a little, sparkly purple bag that belonged to their daughter, who was currently wiggling in excitement in his arms.

"If you glare any harder at the door it's going to go up in flames," Elide said, raising a thick, dark brow. "Rowan's your best friend. Stella's gonna be just fine here this weekend."

Lorcan’s scowl deepened. "It's not Rowan I'm worried about."

He and Elide had decided to take a rare weekend to themselves to celebrate their anniversary. They booked a room in a nice resort a few hours outside of Orynth with a lovely pool that he knew his wife looked forward to lounging by with an endless supply of fruity drinks and a couple of romance novels she had packed. Lorcan was just happy to have an opportunity to wine and dine his wife, and enjoy a nice, private room where they didn’t have to worry about a toddler bursting in at odd hours of the night.

Rowan Whitethorn was, as Elide said, Lorcan’s best friend. Stella adored him as well, especially when he let her color the tattoos that stretched up and down his arm. Lorcan had no doubts that his daughter would be in good hands with him. However, Rowan’s fiancé was another story.

It wasn’t as though she was untrustworthy. She was responsible and kind to Stella, who absolutely was obsessed with her. On top of that, she was one of Elide’s oldest, closest friends. She and Lorcan simply… grated on one another. Lots of snappy remarks back and forth that made Elide and Rowan roll their eyes. Lorcan swore he tried his best to be civil, but Rowan’s fiancé made pissing him off her life’s mission.

The door swung open, revealing the blonde object of his ire.

His daughter, on the other hand, had differing opinions. Stella clapped and let out a jolly laugh at the woman before them. "Auntie A!"

Aelin Galathynius (golden, rich, infuriating) smiled widely. "Hello, Miss Stella!"

In his arms, Stella began squirming hard enough that Lorcan put her down. His daughter instantly ran towards Aelin, throwing herself at her legs and hugging them tightly. She laughed and squatted down, scooping Stella up and holding her on her hip.

"Looks like she missed you," Elide said.

Aelin placed an overly loud, smacking kiss on Stella's hair. "I missed her too!"

It was then that Rowan appeared a step behind Aelin, and Stella's joy was renewed. She reached towards him with cheers of Uncle Ro. Aelin was happy to pass the girl off to her fiancé.

"Thanks for watching her this weekend," Elide said, pulling her friend in for an embrace. His wife gave him a pointed look. "We really appreciate it."

Lorcan simply grunted in what almost appeared to be agreement.

A shit-eating grin spread on Aelin’s face as she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe. "Aw, Lorcan. Are you scared she's gonna like me more than you?"

"No. I'm afraid you're going to spoil her silly and turn her into a mini you."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"It's my greatest nightmare."

At this, Elide pinched his arm sharply. But it clearly didn't hurt Aelin’s feelings. She only tossed her golden head back and laughed.

"I suppose we should be going," Elide sighed, a hint of sadness trailing in her voice. The quiet, private weekend would be nice. But they would miss Stella while they were gone. They always did.

Elide stepped forward, peppering kisses across Stella's face. "I'll miss you so much, my little star."

From her perch in Rowan’s arm, Stella said, "I'll miss you too, mama!"

Lorcan took his turn, kissing his daughter’s forehead. “Be good for Uncle Rowan.”

Stella smiled widely, nodding with vigor. Lorcan couldn’t help but think that she had her mother’s smile. Her coloring, the darker skin and silky black hair was all his. But the way her nose and eyes scrunched when she smiled… all Elide.

“We have a fun weekend planned for the little one,” Aelin said, taking Stella’s sparkly bag from Elide. “So the two of you just take it easy.”

“Ugh. I’ll do my best not to text for updates every fifteen minutes,” Elide said, slipping her hand into Lorcan’s. She looked like she wanted to say one last goodbye to Stella, but their daughter was already happily babbling away to Rowan about what she did in school this week. “I suppose we should be going now.”

“Get going!” Aelin said. “Enjoy your weekend.”

“We will! Thank you so much again!”

Elide gave a tiny tug on his hand, signaling that it was time to go. Lorcan sent one last withering glare at Aelin, which she returned with a middle finger she seemed to have waiting for him. Before he could give her one of his own, Elide had tugged him away towards the car.

Lorcan quickly felt his grievances towards Aelin melting away when his wife smiled up at him brightly. “I’m so excited to spend this weekend with you.”

With a smile of his own, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against his wife’s lips. “Me too.”

And with that, they got into the car, and were on their way.

…

They listened to some of Elide’s favorite podcasts that she had fallen behind with on the drive there. The resort was nestled in the Staghorns, a beautiful building that was more opulent than Lorcan would have picked for himself, but he knew Elide deserved it. He had booked her some spa treatments, made sure they had her favorite wines and foods for room service… he wanted nothing more than to spoil her this weekend.

Their room was perfect. A large, fluffy bed with thick quilts centered in the middle, a sliding glass door that led to a balcony overlooking the mountains, and a huge bathroom with a swimming pool sized tub that Elide’s eyes lit up at. He knew what they would be doing after dinner that night.

There was a steakhouse in the resort that Lorcan had made reservations for tonight. They changed in their room, Elide into a slinky purple dress that worked wonders on her curves. Lorcan went with a black button down, which was likely the nicest piece of clothing he owned.

They were sat, ordered a bottle of red and some appetizers, talked and laughed. But, when Elide excused herself to go to the restroom before the food arrived, Lorcan’s mind wandered to his daughter. He knew they hadn’t been gone for more than four hours but… he grabbed his phone, opening Rowan’s message thread and sending, How’s Stella?

Rowan, the bastard, didn’t respond until they were finished with dinner and desert. Lorcan should have expected it. His friend was never known for his fast response times to texts. Eventually, though, he sent back a short response of Good accompanied with a picture. It was of Stella in her pajamas, curled up on the floor with Aelin’s dog, Fleetfoot, watching a movie that he recognized as Coraline, one of Stella’s favorites.

His phone buzzed with a text from Aelin not long after. This Coraline movie is fuckin horrific how does she not get nightmares.

Lorcan responded with a succinct, Pussy.

Aelin’s reply was quick, with an equally blunt, Get fucked, Lorcan Lochan.

With that, Lorcan decided to put down his phone for the rest of the night and join his wife in the bath.

…

Lorcan and Elide spent the next morning sleeping in, making lazy love in the morning light, before finally deciding to order breakfast up to their room. They drank their coffee and ate their food on the balcony, watching the sun begin to steadily rise over the Staghorns, Elide resting her legs across Lorcan’s lap.

Elide decided she wanted to lounge by the pool for a few hours. Lorcan had scheduled her a massage for the late afternoon, but there was plenty of time before then. By the time they had gotten down to the pool deck and stretched out on comfortable loungers, they received their first Stella update of the day. Rowan had sent a photo of Aelin and Stella sitting beside one another in the booth of a diner, a large plate of chocolate-chip pancakes between them that they both were eating off of.

Healthy start to the day, Rowan had captioned.

Elide had beamed at the photo and saved it to her own phone. Lorcan wondered how his friend had ended up with a woman who started her mornings with pure sugar while he couldn’t remember the last time Rowan had touched the stuff. A mystery.

Elide plowed through her novel while they soaked up the sun, and although Lorcan had brought a book himself, he spent most of his time admiring his wife.

The next update came a few hours later, as they were leaving the pool so Elide could head to the spa. The message and photo came from Aelin this time, and Lorcan couldn’t help but scowl at it.

Aelin had taken a selfie of her and Stella in a large mirror of what looked to be a department store. They wore matching, puffy jackets with leopard print and nearly-identical round sunglasses. She had captioned the photo Mini-me, echoing Lorcan’s words from when he had dropped her off.

I hate you, Lorcan texted back.

Aelin responded with a single red heart.

While Elide got her massage, Lorcan headed to the lobby bar for a drink of his own, ordering himself a nice bourbon and watching whatever sports game they had playing on the closest TV. After about forty-five minutes, his phone chimed with a message from Aelin again. This time, she had sent a photo of Stella perched on Rowan’s shoulders, enjoying an ice-cream covered in rainbow sprinkles. It looked like they were at the park closest to their place, enjoying the nice day.

How long do you think we’ll be picking sprinkles out of Rowan’s hair? Aelin asked.

Despite not wanting to laugh at something Aelin said, Lorcan still found himself chuckling. He wasn’t sure if poor Rowan’s hair would ever be free of sprinkles again.

Elide eventually came back from her massage, a relaxed, loving smile on her face when she greeted him. She gave him a long, slow kiss as a thank you which, when they arrived back to their room, quickly descended into a tumble in the sheets.

By the time they were finished, it was once again time for dinner. Lorcan had reserved them a table at a seafood restaurant that night and he knew Elide was quite excited to share some oysters.

Just as they were getting ready to head out, Lorcan received another message. This time, from Rowan. Elide came to his side, peeking at the photo they had been sent.

It was of Aelin and Stella, still wearing their matching jackets, on the floor of the children’s section of the bookstore, surrounded by towers of brightly illustrated books. Aelin was reading one to Stella, who was pointing and smiling at something she found to be delightful on the page.

I hope Stella has room on her bookshelves at home, Rowan said. Aelin’s buying her as much as Stella can get me to carry.

Elide laughed. “That’s our girl.”

Yes, she was. And Lorcan couldn’t wait to see her again tomorrow.

…

The dinner was delightful. They ordered dessert to their room and enjoyed chocolate-covered strawberries while lounging in bed. Lorcan and Elide thoroughly enjoyed their last night of total privacy… and then their morning as well.

And although their weekend had been nothing but bliss, Lorcan missed Stella greatly, as did Elide.

They arrived back at Rowan and Aelin’s home by noon, and it seemed their daughter had missed them just as well. The moment they stepped out of their car, the front door opened and Stella came running towards them, still wearing that puffy jacket Aelin got for her, a book in hand.

“Mama! Da!”

Stella reached Elide first, who squatted down and enveloped her in a tight embrace, kissing her silky black hair.

Stella then saw Lorcan over Elide’s shoulder, her smile growing impossibly wider. She ran to him, and he easily scooped his daughter up into his arms, pressing a kiss against her round cheek.

“I missed you, my little star,” Lorcan said.

“I missed you too!”

“Did you have fun with Rowan and Aelin?”

Stella nodded vigorously. “Yup! Auntie Aelin and I went shopping and we got matching coats and ice cream and she let me buy so, so many books and made Uncle Rowan carry them all.”

As if summoned, Rowan appeared in the doorway, holding two heavy bags of what could only be the books Aelin bought Stella, as well as her little purple bag slung over his shoulder. He greeted him with a tight smile. Aelin had come out as well, chatting with Elide, likely getting all the details about their weekend excursion.

“Should I just put these in the trunk?” Rowan asked.

“That will work just fine.”

Rowan nodded and made his way to the back of their car.

“Look at this book Auntie A got me!” Stella said, holding up the book she carried. “It’s my name!”

Lorcan looked at the cover, the fruit bat illustrated upon it and the title StellaLuna. It warmed his heart to see how excited his daughter was over it.

“That’s awesome. Did you like it?”

“So much! I made Uncle Rowan read it to me four times.”

“I actually think it was five,” Aelin interjected.

“Oh, yea,” Stella said. “Five times.”

Elide seemingly finished catching Aelin up on their weekend, coming to Lorcan’s side and taking Stella from his arms.

“Come on, my little star,” she said, smoothing her wild, black hair. “Let’s get ready to get home! Say bye to Uncle Rowan and Auntie A.”

Stella cheered her goodbyes, Rowan sweeping past and pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head, Aelin coming, tickling her sides, before planting a smacking kiss to the center of her forehead. With that, Elide carried their daughter towards the back of their car, Rowan a step behind carrying the carseat they had borrowed for the weekend.

“Who do you think had a better time this weekend?” asked Aelin, arms crossed over her chest. “You, or Stella?”

“Tough to say. I didn’t have a rich aunt pay for piles of my books, though.”

“What’s the point of being a rich aunt if I can’t spoil Miss Stella?”

Lorcan chuckled lowly, looking towards his left where Aelin stood. “Thank you, Galathynius. Stella always has a great time when she visits.”

Aelin slapped a hand over her heart dramatically, jaw-dropped in mock-surprise. “Did Lorcan Salvaterre-Lochan just actually thank me? It must be the end times.”

Shaking his head, Lorcan nudged her shoulder with his. “Don’t get used to it, princess.”

With a wide smile on her face, Aelin nudged him back. Harder. “Wouldn’t dream of it, you prick.”

[princessyuwa]

Fem!Lorcan × Elide 🖤 @nalgenewhore

Made From:

https://meiker.io/play/12637/online.html

[fineosaur]

thanks for the tag, mj! @salty-wench i made this a few days ago and forgot to post it.

i feel like this is quite close but needed the colour black.

link

i’m gonna tag @wexpyke , @stompandhollar , @brewsterispunkk , @go-catch-a-chickn , @nalgenewhore

[medievalwife]

my top albums of 2023 🩷🩷🩷

in no particular order: married in mount airy // nicole dollanganger; mp3 // emilia; guts // olivia rodrigo; speak now (taylor’s version); cupido // tini; where the flowers don’t die // monaleo; playa saturno // rauw alejandro; . silence between songs // madison beer; the land is inhospitable and so are we // mitski; vilã // ludmilla

honorable mentions: alma // nicki nicole; what i didn’t tell you // coco jones; hell is a teenage girl // nessa barrett; archives & lullabies // sabrina claudio; aaaaaa // marc seguí; anyways, life’s great…bonus edition // glorilla; ar // addison rae; bewitched // laufey; fruitcake and emails i can’t send fwd: // sabrina carpenter.

tagging @expromqueen @number1girl @redrobbrivers @nalgenewhore @princessyuwa @legallybrunettedotcom @ichangeintothemule @treacherous @lesbianjudasiscariot to share (no pressure!)

[expromqueen]

my top albums of 2023🎵

tagged by @valleyofthedolls1967

tagging @redrobbrivers @legallybrunettedotcom @nalgenewhore @princessyuwa @number1girl @krelboynemp3 @horrorlesbians @cam1lla @moldavite