#but all of those are older games and. much much love to sonic battle's story but the gameplay was not the greatest

[faggotsonic]

man sonic needs to branch out with their spinoff games more I think- like dont get me wrong i LOVE the racing games and the olympic games theyre genuinely tons of fun but goddddd what i would GIVE for a mario party-esque sonic party game. oh my god thatd be amazing and hilarious. or a sonic rhythm game. also a sonic fighter game like smash bros or even street fighter style would have soooooo much potential

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Amy Propaganda

"Despite the fact that Sonic has said outright that she is important to him and someone he's glad to have around, fans choose to ignore that she is shown to be a good friend and has lots of friends- Cream, Big, Tails, Blaze, Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge(? They didn't seem to get along, but she invited Rouge to her birthday), Vector, Espio, Silver, E-102 Gamma, Elise, Belle, Sticks, and again, Sonic- in favor of pretending that she is a creepy, obsessive fanatic and a stalker who forces herself into Sonic's life and the lives of those around him without ever being wanted. It's quite frankly disturbing."

Kairi Propaganda

"The Kingdom Hearts game series is about Mickey Mouse battling the forces of Darkness with an alliance of fashionable anime boys. Kairi is a major character, and one of the few female characters. She is part of a trio of childhood best friends, with the protagonist Sora and their other friend Riku (who had a villain arc and then a redemption arc). Though Kairi is constantly and clumsily sidelined by the canon narrative, she arguably has more backstory going on than any other major characters. She is a refugee from another planet. She implicitly lost her beloved grandma at five years old in the traumatic destruction of their hometown. She was kidnapped and experimented on by an evil wizard-scientist—she escaped thanks to having a magic charm that basically teleported her to her soulmate(s). Then she had to adjust to living on a new planet and being adopted by a new family. In the very first game, when she's 14, she turns out her pure heart is one of 7 in the entire universe to be free of Darkness—she shows a full emotional spectrum of fear, sadness, frustration, defeat, but she isn't vulnerable to corruption. In KH2, she becomes one of the Chosen Ones who wield a magical weapon called a Keyblade. She loves her friends very much, and she has the unique talent to instantly recognize them even when they've been transformed into monsters. She has saved them several times with nothing but the Power Of Love in her heart randomly manifesting in, like, telepathy and teleportation and resurrection—she doesn't even consciously know that she has powers, her love is just so great that it's accepted as a tangible force of nature. She is frustrated and ashamed by her role as a damsel in distress, and she wishes to be stronger and combat-capable so that she join her male friends on their adventures instead of waiting around where it's safe. Also she was kidnapped by an evil assassin clown who's ten years older than her, and then they became friends. NOT ONLY does the fandom plug its ears and claim there is nothing interesting about this character and no potential in her story—Kairi has been demonized by the fandom for about 20 years. Somehow Kairi is useless and boring while also being a Mary Sue at the same time. She was called a bitch and a slut and a whore. She was hated for wearing too much pink and wielding a girly weapon with a floral design. She was criticized as a slut for wearing a short skirt, and for THE PLAYER being able to manipulate the camera into a contrived angle to look up her skirt to see her panties in the first edition of KH2. You can find nearly 20-year-old fanfiction and fanart of her being twisted into an evil schemer driving her friends apart, and of her being gleefully brutalized and insulted. Haters STILL comb for every crumb to make elaborate anti-canon theories about why she's an agent of evil, even though canon has FIRMLY ESTABLISHED for TWENTY YEARS since the very beginning that she's THE ONE CHARACTER incapable of growing Darkness in her heart. The theory is that she exists only as a puppet sent by the main villain to sabotage her friends (the plot for two out of the four main female characters) for all ten years of their friendship. The theory is that she's been using her powers to force her friends to love her—and their Power Of Friendship that is the EMOTIONAL BACKBONE OF THE STORY, and THE MAJOR FORCE OF GOOD IN THEIR UNIVERSE, and THE MOST CONSISTENT MOTIVATION FOR THE HEROES is all Just Misdirection LOL building up to a shitty Plot Twist. The theory is that she's secretly a custom-manufactured Chirithy (a cute talking animal companion that serves and guides humans)—and not a human girl with her own natural feelings and aspirations. AND THEN after stripping her of every important trait and role, these fans claim they're making Kairi more important and interesting than she is in canon. I don't know what causes the fandom to so desperately hate a sweet 14-year-old girl who literally canonically never did anything wrong."

[jessicajagg]

Why I love Sonic Adventure

Picking favorite video games has always been a challenge for me. There are so many games that I like that narrowing it down has always proved difficult. However, there are a select few that always spring to my mind without fail whenever the subject comes up. And one of those games is Sonic Adventure.

I didn't always love it, as a kid my first 3D Sonic was Sonic Adventure 2 Battle on gamecube. I held it's Sonic speed stages in very high regard which only grew when I got older and became nostalgic for it. So much that I initially dismissed Sonic Adventure upon playing the PS3 port, simply because it was not SA2. But I eventually grew out of that bias and upon revisiting SA1 with a more open mind, I found a game that I would grow to love more than any other in the series.

What immediately springs to my mind when I think of Sonic Adventure are the zones. Alot of Sonic games will usually have "that" level I'll dread revisiting but in Adventure there's not a dud in the bunch. I love the sky road in Windy Valley, the snowboarding in Ice Cap, the Nights pinball machine in Casinopolis and ofcourse the iconic run down the side of a building in Speed Highway.

Emerald Coast in particular has a special place in my heart. It's bright blue skies, white sand, it's hard to describe but I can't help but smile whenever I think about it. It genuinely puts me at ease somehow and I think about it alot when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

Something I didn't find appreciation for until recently were the hub worlds connecting these zones. I used to think they were a bit of a nuisance, especially unlocking the next zone can sometimes be cryptic. It was only after a recent playthrough where I decided to slow down and take everything in that I found them to be really chill spaces to just hang out in.

Alot of the NPCs have their own little stories that progress as you make your way through the game. They're small but really cute and amusing. I got way more invested in them that I thought I would and honestly I think you're not getting the full SA experience if you don't talk to everyone.

Among the Sonic games that shuffle between multiple characters and play styles I think Adventure 1 did the best at structuring it all. Each character has their own campaign so if you only feel like playing speed stages you can just do Sonic's story and be done with it.

Tails is handled best here than in any other 3D game, I love the idea of having you play levels again with an OP character that just breaks them.

The three playstyles that differ the most from the core Sonic gameplay, Knuckles, Amy and Big are the shortest campaigns. Which keeps them from getting too monotonous, especially when it comes to Big's unfortunately clunky fishing controls.

Ofcourse every moment and stage in this game is punctuated with one of the most memorable soundtracks in the entire franchise. I'm not much of a music gal, so all I can say is that the music fucking rules.

I know as a game there's alot wrong with Sonic Adventure. The presentation, the voice acting, the odd physics, re-using content but none of it really bugs me. If I fall down the floor, I just shrug in an "oh you" kind of way and continue on. It's one of those games where I'll plow through the entire thing in one sitting on a whim.

In the end all I can say is, I love Sonic Adventure.

[knizuu]

Funny Fang Plushie videos because reasons…

I LOVE THEM ALL XD

Each video had a different plot and feel, and I’m here to share them!

So…SuperSonicBlake’s Fang

This video was basically: Eggman hired hitman, hitman is Fang, Fang tries to kill Sonic, Sonic doesn’t die :]

This part always made me laugh

“Are you looking…”

“FOR ME?!?”

Basically, we learn that SSB’s Fang is from Australia, and he has done his job for over 20 years. He has two names, and he knew Sonic and the two kinda just talked as normal friends before the gun just came up lol.

Then we move onto the second video SuperSonicBlake’s Fang has starred in

Basic plot is that Fang stole King Tut’s tomb (we learn later that he did not actually steal King Tut’s tomb, it was just toilet paper) and he crashes at Sonic’s place. Sonic actually kinda thinks the crime was cool and then Mario comes in, blah blah blah, Fang doesn’t go to jail thank goodness.

Also Fang’s lines are just spectacular: “Is it because I’m taller than you, strawberry shortcake? Or should I say, blueberry shortcake?”

Alright, then the last two

So not much happened with Fang in these videos, but Fang in the first video, is aware of the new game having him, and Sonic gets mad that he wasn’t aware of the game earlier.

In the gameplay, he just is spoken about.

But in these videos, what makes me laugh is the fact that Sonic makes these compliments to Fang out of context.

I mean come on, “gorgeous”? Sonic, I understand but it’s just so funny to me. And when he was on screen, he went: FANNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Moving on, let’s see Cartoon Neon’s Fang!

In this, Sonic gets accused of committing (as what Fang calls it) Spoonery. A hedgehog stole a spoon and Fang tries to figure out who did it. It was Shadow btw. BUT TOTAL SIDE-NOTE: The battle with Fang and Eggman was too funny, I swear. XD

“SHUT UP!”

“*gasp*”

In this video, we learn that Fang is a sherif and calls some of the locals young, which makes me think he’s noticeably older than Sonic and co. Btw, Fang said he needed a lot of therapy at the end sooo :’[

More of CN’s Fang: we got this

Main thing: Sonic is gone, we need to find out what happened to him.

Fang joins the mystery cuz well, he’s the sherif and he also wants to find Sonic. Not much of him here, but Metal Sonic having a boyfriend is cute ^ ^

Btw, if Metal’s boyfriend is found, please tell me.

So basically, CN’s Fang is very goofy :>

MOVING ON WE GOT SFF’s FANG

Little much since it’s a short video, but Fang was mainly the criminal who actually was just wanting to find his pet, Burpee. *Fang also spoke Spanish

Btw, when Fang realized that his lost pet was found, THE CLIMAX WENT EMOTIONAL MUSIC AND EVERYTHING. IT HONESTLY MADE ME QUESTION MY FEELINGS.

Like, Fang and Knuckles hugged it out :’]

IDK, very nice video and the ending is priceless.

And those are the story driven ones, but there is one toy review that I BEG ALL OF YOU GUYS TO SEE

I SWEAR, JUST WATCH THE STARTING SKIT PLZ

I haven’t laughed so laughed in so long like wow thanks.

Also the edits on the video are funny, so I recommend watching the full thing. PLEASE

And that’s it!

Please give more notice around Fang plushie videos!

—

UPDATE: NVM THERES MORE

SPA’s Fang is precious and ALSO is from Australia, was sent to Texas to kill Sonic. But then at the end he became family with Sonic! ^ ^

[curetapwater]

Shadow for the bingo meme?

Skdhshshs love himmm

For a lot of reasons. Like on a surface level he's just really cool!! His design is awesome, both badass yet adorable at the same time! Imo he neither feels out of place in super serious nor lighthearted settings.

On a deeper level, I adore the themes of his arc regarding healing from trauma, breaking free from cycles of toxicity, and actively choosing to make the world a better place despite it all. I have a particular thing for characters who were specifically created for certain purposes, only for them to explore personhood outside of just being a tool. It's why a lot of my favorite stories feature some form of destiny as a heavy theme. Shadow has that going for him multiple times over!! With various people and factions effectively pulling him in all directions and him ultimately deciding to follow his own path.

I also think his power set is so cool! He can wield weapons, he's basically a wizard with all those Chaos powers, he's got a set of space-age rollerblades!!!!!! I am staunchly of the belief that he doesn't NEED the air shoes to go as fast as Sonic, he just wears them because they're cool. He looked at a motorcycle and said "I can figure this out" and he was right. One time he like. Rode on an eagle or something and it didn't feel out-of-character. I'm pretty sure he flipped a truck with his non-dominant hand once.

And yet he's so vulnerable!! He's just a kid and all this is happening to him!!!!!! I mean, that's true of 90% of Sonic characters lol but I mean Shadow tries So Hard to make you forget he's ultimately a child who's working on himself. A super cool, super-powered child but a child nonetheless. I've heard people say his current English VA sounds like a "tryhard" but imo that's part of his appeal. Honestly I adore Shadow's specific flavor of "I'm trying so hard to be cold but my giant gooey heart keeps seeping through."

I remember when I was really little and I'd watch my older relatives play Sonic Adventure 2, and at first when I saw Shadow I legitimately couldn't categorize him into "good guy" or "bad guy." (I also couldn't follow the story because I was a toddler lol) His design and boss battles with Sonic told me "bad guy" but his flashbacks with Maria and the way he patted the Chao's heads muddled the waters for me. So I also appreciate him being a gateway into more complex ways of viewing characters.

With all of this that we've been given, he's a very interesting character to see pieces of oneself in. For one example that's close to me, it's basically canon that he's mentally ill (in SA2 he displays PTSD symptoms and in his title game there are pathways where he expresses symptoms of depression) and also has a lot of external trauma happen to his brain (multiple cases of brainwashing/memory altering/mind control plus blunt force trauma so bad it gave him amnesia) that makes it hard for him to distinguish what's real. So as a neurodivergent person it delights me to see this character honestly, legitimately struggle with not only everything placed upon his shoulders but his own brain chemistry on top of it. He doesn't always make the best choices (to say the least) but in the end he makes a conscious effort to do right by the world and I think that's incredibly inspiring. His character song Never Turn Back lays out this facet of his character perfectly.

I put a halfway cross on "didn't get enough screentime" because in the 2000s he got a lot of attention but in the 2010s not so much. It seems that might be changing soon and I sure hope it does!!!

I put another one on "got done dirty by the fans" because I feel it's less so fans and more other people that make Shadow out to be a far less compelling character than he really is. I also don't appreciate how he's used as an avenue to bash goth and emo teens who are just trying to enjoy themselves. "Lol who are you, Shadow the EDGEhog" like is that an insult to be compared to such an awesome character???

I put a cross over "I'd be scared of them irl" but that only applies to those times he went oopsie daisy and tried to destroy humanity. Otherwise I'd actually feel very safe in his presence. I'd give him a cookie and trade anime recommendations with him.

[rollflasher]

Sonic Heroes and Sonic Chronicles

Sonic Heroes

I really love this game and I think it's good, but not great.

Funny enough, I also have some history with this game since my hype for Heroes as a kid was astounding, so when I got the chance to play it for the first time I had a blast. Thing is...I sucked at the game and as a kid I thought it was because I usually fared like that in most games, but as I got older the game continued to be frustrating and as a teenager seeing reviews about it and other 3D Sonic games, I came to the conclusion that Heroes wasn't really a good game, but here's the kicker.

All that time I only played the PS2 version of Heroes.

Years later I found out about the difference between the different ports of the game and decided to give it a second chance, apparently the PC version was the most accessible one for me and fortunately it wasn't as broken as the PS2 one, so I downloaded and gave it a try.

And man does it make a difference.

While the game's slippery controls is an issue on all platforms, the game played so much better in PC that I could actually enjoy myself and beat it, and after that my image of the game became much more positive.

Great level design, the team mechanic is fresh and really incentivises to interact with Sonic stages in a brand new way, one of the things I love to do the most in this game is mastering switching to the point that it becomes natural and suddenly you feel that 3 characters control as one, at least for me there's something incredibly awesome on succesfully pulling that off.

As always the soundtrack is amazing and Heroes' is probably Jun Senoue at his purest. Every single track displays his style in all of its glory and I think this gives it a pretty strong identity making it stand out from the rest. Also hot take, this game has easily the best final boss theme in the series, and yes, I'm putting What I'm Made Of above Open Your Heart and Live And Learn, it's not that this song is necessarily better than the others, it's just that I don't think ANY other song really nails the feeling of a final battle as much as this one does.

The story...is not good, I'm just gonna say that. The plot is bare-bones, the Eggman getting upstaged trend was already getting tired by this point and there's not much to write home about it beside Metal's return and Shadow's survival. Besides that, the characters fight each other for stupid reasons and there is some slight flanderization going around in this game.

That being said, I do think it has some redeemable qualities. As cheesy as this game's script is, I think this is a better approach at making a lighthearted Sonic game than the Pontaff games, because while this game has memeable quotes such as the SUPERPOWER OF TEAMWORK! I do appreciate that this game's tone still focuses on action and the characters still feel genuine in their characterization. I never really understood why a lot of franchises think that making a lighthearted story must involve the characters being forced into cracking jokes and leaning more into humor so I definitely prefer Heroes' approach at making a more family friendly Sonic story by making things simple and focusing on classic action.

Don't get me wrong, this game's plot is still not good and those are mostly saving graces, they’re still not enough to make a difference.

Overall, I think Heroes' biggest weakness as a whole is how repetitive it is. The game is incredibly fun on a single playthrough, but having to play it 4 times to get the final story is a deal breaker since all the teams go through the exact same stages but with minor alterations, it's only Team Chaotix that truly changes things with its missions.

This wouldn't be such a problem if Heroes was like SA1, where all the characters played differently and thus each campaign felt distinct from one another despite them re-using stages constantly, but in this game the teams play almost the exact same except for the Team Blast and some minor moveset alterations. And this is a shame, since it really drags down a game that has a lot of brilliant ideas that unfortunately overstay their welcome because of the monotony this causes.

I think the worst part is that IIRC, Heroes had to be redone from scratch halfway during development, since this game was originally going to be a Gamecube exclusive but after taking the decision to port it into other systems, they were forced to change the engine of the game to one that was easier to port, this means that maybe the repetitiveness of this game is a direct result of that, this would also explain why Heroes has this feeling of unpolish in some areas. Really this is a big shame, because Heroes could have been a much better game if its development went through as it was originally planned.

Anyway, my best advice for this game is to take a break every time you finish one campaign and try the next one another day, that's the most you can do to mitigate the issue of this game being repetitive.

Good game, but it's rough around the edges and could have been so much better than what we got.

Sonic Chronicles

Eh, I used to like this game as a kid but I could never beat it, nowadays I dislike it because of all the innacuracies Bioware did with this title getting almost everything wrong about the Sonic series, I don't hate it with a passion but at the same time I think it's a good thing this game got kicked out of the canon. I know there is some people who like this game and think it's not so bad, and that's okay! The game does have some interesting ideas, but I find all it did wrong infuriating because of how much Bioware boasted about being ''Big Sonic fans'' and the amount of things they got wrong about this franchise with those claims shows how focused they were on one-upping Sonic Team instead of doing their homework.

This is downright embarassing.

Not to mention the game featuring gems like claiming Sonic and Shadow teamed up to stop Eggman in SA2, or how Team Rose is ''Team Amy'', among many other screw ups that could have easily be solved with a quick Google Search. Keep in mind this game was meant to be canon at first so the lack of care from Bioware after boasting really doesn't say anything good about them.

The less that’s said about the music, the better.

There's no Sonic curse or any bullshit like that, Bioware just got arrogant and produced a shitty game as a result. I still find it shocking that apparently this game got praised over Unleashed back in the day.

[greenygreenland]

Father! Garmadon & Reader: The Day I Died

-kinda inspired by the movie ‘A Better Tomorrow’ [it’s on Youtube if you wanna watch it] and my own experiences 

Summary: A few months after the Overlord’s ‘demise’ he returns and you find yourself feeling hopeless. Thankfully, Garmadon has your back this time and you aren’t alone.

NOTE: SAME TIME-LINE AS LIAR, SO YOU ARE THE GREEN NINJA INSTEAD OF LLOYD

Liar Part 1

Liar Part 2

Your mother was an amazing person. Sure, she left you and Lloyd when you were incredibly young, but only because she wanted to stop the final battle from ever happening to save you both from the pain of fighting your father in a showdown to the death. She may have left you, but she came back and tried to make it up to you even if it felt...odd to have a mother back after being alone for so long.

Your father was a different story. He was the imbalance that tipped Ninjago off its feet, the reason why you defied Destiny to become the Green Ninja, and the cause for all your suffering. He was evil, and sometimes, you wished he weren’t your father. 

Despite the venom running through his veins being vanquished, he hadn’t dared show his face around you ever again. According the rare passerbyers you conversed with, he had set up his own ‘lovely and successful dojo’ a few hours away from Wu’s Academy (you thought that was a dumb name). 

You weren’t sure if you wanted to be confused by how the former dark lord of evil could somehow attract people to his dojo or angry that he never bothered to visit. He knew where you were because your mum told you she talked to him a week ago. You didn’t know where he was because, well, how the heck were you supposed to locate your ex-adversary’s dojo in the middle of nowhere? 

So where in Ninjago was Garmadon? You decided to wait and see if he’d decide to show up sometime before you perished of old age, but he never did. A few days passed, then a week, then another and another and another. You waited, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he might decide to show up and tell you he was sorry for being absent for ten and up years of your life, but why should you expect anything when your whole life had been a let-down?

Being the Green and Golden ninja practically meant holding up the sky. You had duties, a reputation, and an incompetent family to care for. Not only that, but being a teacher at Wu’s Academy meant wasting your life away in a classroom grading paperwork. Before that, you sacrificed yourself to defy Destiny and save Lloyd from all the trauma and heartache you currently dealt with, and even way before that, you were his stand-in parent for your absent father and mother. You were done wasting your thoughts on the false hope that you’d get what all your students had--a family with parents who were actually there for you. 

“(Y/n)!” 

That broke you from your thoughts. You turned in your chair to face Lloyd, pausing for a second to blink. It was still odd to see him so tall since he magically aged up, so it took a second for you to adjust to what you thought you’d see. “Do you need something?” you inquired. Lloyd shoved a gi in your arms. “Put that on and hurry. We need to go, like now!”

“Now? But the others? Are they still on that field trip or--?” Lloyd slammed the classroom door shut. “I’ll explain later, just hurry up!” 

“Okay, okay!” 

As soon as you’d finished changing, Lloyd took you by the hand and ripped open one of the windows. “We’re gonna have to jump.” He broke into a sprint, but you yanked him away from the window. “What do you think you’re doing?! We’re on the top floor!” He yanked you towards the window with a strength you didn’t know he even possessed. 

“STOP LLOYD!” you shouted. “I SAID STO--!”

“Don’t use your elemental dragon!” he interjected. You were suddenly free-falling, clinging onto your brother like he were a stuffed animal. Oh, this was it wasn’t it? You’d die here, falling through a window as Lloyd reassured you you’d ‘be okay’. You screwed your eyes shut and wrapped your arms around Lloyd to break the fall, all the while preparing the goodbye speech you’d announce once you were dead. 

The landing came, but the impact was softer than you expected. Lloyd let out a light chuckle as you opened your eyes and took in the sight of the Ultra Sonic Raider. 

“Oh.” 

He snickered at you, wiggling out of your tight embrace and climbing in a separate compartment. You settled into the familiar leather, strapping in and closing the hatch as Lloyd revved up the engine. He closed his own hatch, and just as you were about to ask him about what the heck was happening, he slammed the petal to the metal. You yelped as your head hit the back of your chair, gripping onto your seat belt for dear life. “Lloyd, you’re going over the speed limit!”

“Well I’m sorry I can’t abide by the law when we’re about to die!” he sarcastically exclaimed. “The Overlord’s back, and he’s after our power!”

Your eyes widened. The Overlord was back? That couldn’t be. You saw him die--he vanished into nothing, leaving only your father behind and nothing more. Not only that, but what did Lloyd mean by ‘we’? He didn’t have elemental powers. You took his place so he could be how you liked it: safe. 

“What do you mean ‘our power’?” you grimly inquired. Despite taking the role as the Green Ninja, you knew that in theory it was possible Lloyd also inherited the same power you possessed since you were both A, siblings, and B, descendants of the First Spinjitzu Master. If he truly did inherit elemental powers, then all your hard work would have been for naught.

That was a scary thought.

“I,” Lloyd paused, heaving in a deep breath, “I have Golden Power.” Your heart stopped. 

Golden Power. 

Lloyd had Golden Power. 

How were you supposed to keep him safe now? 

You had the sudden urge to scream or do anything to let those in Cloud Kingdom know that you wanted to take the burden to your grave so Lloyd could have a better life than you. The burden would be miserable for you, but that was how you wanted it. Lloyd wasn’t supposed to share your burden, and you feared if he’d become as bitter as you. A sorrowful sigh left your lips as Lloyd frowned. 

“There was a falling street lamp and Jay would’ve been crushed if I didn’t step in.” he said. “I don’t really know how I did, but there was this golden glow around my hands and then it hit the pole and made it explode. I’m sorry sis, are you mad at me?” His voice was softer than the time he apologised for spilling juice all over your favourite book. You shook your head, running a hand through your hair. “Lloyd,” you began, “I’m not mad, I just--I just wish I could have done more. Maybe if I...or...I could have....” 

You gave up on trying to formulate a cohesive sentence, taking to shaking your head again. “I’m sorry Lloyd.” He huffed from the driver’s seat. “It’s not your fault that this happened. Maybe it was meant to be so that you wouldn’t have to deal with everything on your own.”

“Lloyd--”

“So what you’re my older sister? So what you’re supposed to take care of me? You’re always doing that no matter what it is, risking your life, your health, your freedom, your everything. You always forget that you’re still human even though you’re doing this and that.”

You sighed. “Lloyd, that’s because I have to. It’s my responsibility and--”

“So?” His voice shook. “I don’t want to be your responsibility anymore! You think I don’t see you stay up all night writing out how much you hate being the Green Ninja so no one has to hear you complain? You think I don’t see how much you keep giving until you’re left with nothing? The only reason why you hate dad is because you blame him for everything you’ve done.”

“I don’t blame him for my misfortune.” you icily retorted. “But it’s his fault for leaving. And because he left us, I wanted to make sure you grew up happy even without him and mom. I give so you don’t have to go through what I went through, but now look what’s happened. Destiny has been cruel and you’re the Golden Ninja just like me.” 

The rest of the ride continued in silence, something you were unused to around your brother. He was a chatterbox and loved to talk about the latest issues of Starfarer, or the newest video games, but this time, his lips were sewn shut. He didn’t utter a word, and when you asked if he was heading back to the Bounty, he remained silent. 

“Lloyd,” you gently said, “just tell me where we’re going.” 

His grip on the steering seemed to tighten, a sign that he was nervous. “You’re gonna get mad if I tell you.” You huffed, crossing your arms and frowning. “I don’t have a reason to be angry because you haven’t told me yet.” 

Another pause.

“You’re not gonna like this, but we have to stay here and lie low. The nindroids--they’re the guys who attacked us in the city--won’t be able to find us here.” He rounded a bend and stopped the vehicle. You opened the hatch and climbed out as Lloyd turned off the Ultra Sonic Raider. He followed after you, an apologetic look on his face as you made your way up a hill. 

No explanation was needed; you knew exactly where you were. The only question that stayed in your mind was, ‘why?’. There could have been a hundred other locations to hide so much harder to find than here, yet the ninja just had to choose the one place you swore to never set foot in: your father’s dojo. Being in the same building as him was something you silently said you’d never do after waiting for him to visit you for months on end. 

He was supposed to take initiative because he was your father, especially after everything he did. 

You had the sudden urge to weep as Lloyd took you by the arm and dragged you along. Maybe you could wait outside for everyone, or sneak away to some remote village where you could go into hiding alone. As long as it was anywhere but here, you were fine. 

Along the way, you passed Zane and gave him a wave. He smiled kindly as he always did, juggling the objects in his hands. “Did you run into any trouble along the way?” he inquired. Lloyd shook his head. “No, but I’m glad we didn’t because I don’t think I’m that good at driving yet.” You were about to interrupt and tell Lloyd you were staying out here, but he suddenly yanked you away from Zane and further up the hill. There was a beautiful waterfall behind the dojo that made you wonder how your father found such a serene place, but that thought left your mind as you stopped at the front doors. 

You sucked in a sharp breath as Lloyd took your hand, giving it a good squeeze before sliding open the doors. Soft, yellow light flooded the darkness, drowning out the stars and moon. Your father stood in the middle of the serene room, staff in hand as he lectured the class. Kai and the others waved frantically from where they sat as Nya whispered for them to shut their faces. Your father followed their pointing and waving, raising a brow inquisitively until his gaze met yours.

“Ah,” he warmly said, “if it isn’t my daughter and son, so glad you could join us.” You curtly nodded while Lloyd broke into a full-on grin. “Dad! It’s great to see you again.” He smiled in return, motioning for you both to come in. “It’s wonderful to see you both as well. Take a seat wherever you’d like, the lesson was just about to start.” You closed the door behind you as Lloyd gladly made his way inside. You followed after him, taking in every bit of your surroundings as you could. 

Jay motioned for you to take a seat on the floor between him and Cole. You swiftly sat down as Lloyd settled next to Kai. “Did you guys run into trouble?” whispered Jay. “We’ve been here way before class started!” Your father made his way around the room and sent Jay a look. “Silence!” He bonked him on the head, but not enough to injure your poor friend. You frowned, sending your father a disapproving look. He didn’t see it though since his back was turned.

“Close your mouth, and open your ears. Tonight’s lesson is the Art of the Silent Fist, to fight without fighting.” He turned to face everyone again. “May I have a volunteer?” The walls were suddenly real interesting for everyone, and you couldn’t blame them. 

“(Y/n) would like to volunteer as tribute!” Lloyd piped up. Your jaw dropped and you looked over Jay’s shoulder with wide eyes. “No I--”

“The Ultimate Battle, round two!” he exclaimed. You sat there for a moment until you realised there was no getting out of it, so with a roll of your eyes, you stood, making your way to the middle of the room. Your father still had a warm smile on his face, but you didn’t return it. “Attack me,” he said, “but please, no powers, I happen to like my monastery.” There was a collection of giggles and snorts from his students that set you a bit on edge. 

You rolled your eyes and threw a swift punch, aiming straight for his face. At the last second, Garmadon dodged and you ran straight into a wall. “You see?” he said. “The key is balance.” He set his staff on the ground to stand on its own before holding it again. “Let your opponent fight himself.” You gritted your teeth, this time throwing a roundhouse kick and then an uppercut. He dodged, and dodged, and dodged again. As you threw another punch, he yawned and that made you angry. 

You threw a punch first, then a kick, and finally another kick, but he kept dodging. Heaving in a deep breath, you ran towards him, readying a kick to put this so-called ‘lesson’ to a close. At the last second, Garmadon bent over, taking your arm and tossing you over his shoulder like a sack of flour. 

The world spun and you let out a groan. “Oh, (Y/n)...” mumbled Kai with a face-palm. The others followed, shaking their heads as you ran a hand over your forehead. “Pupils,” said your father, “I present to you the greatest ninja in all the land, the Golden Ninja.” There was a chorus of laughter that made your chest burn. You didn’t deserve that, or this, or the embarrassment leaking onto your face as you hauled your tired limbs off the floor. Nothing could have been worse than humiliation by the man you loathed.

Suddenly, you found yourself on that unforgiving sandy beach. You were on the Dark Island, preparing to prematurely confront your father before anymore harm could be done to you and the world. You couldn’t wait any longer, and so you had stepped in his way like an annoying fly that wouldn’t leave. You were going to end the imbalance once and for all.

“Easy, easy dear.” 

You blinked away the haze from your eyes, the familiar voice grounding you in the present. Your hands were balled into fists and green light danced across your fingertips. When had your powers activated? You didn’t remember doing that.

“It’s only a lesson.” your father said. His voice was gentle, and there was a gleam in his eyes that made you falter for a fraction of a second. You saw regret on his face, but you weren’t about to stick around to confirm your observations. Your arms dropped to your sides and you let out a curt sigh. “Sorry.” Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be. “Force of habit." You saw the ninja and Nya frown. "I think I’ll excuse myself from the lesson.” You respectfully bowed and silently made your way out the door, ignoring the calls of your friends. 

The chirping crickets and gentle breezes of night helped ease the emotional pain building in your heart. You took a seat at the bottom of the stairs and placed your head in your hands. For a while, it was only you and mother nature savouring each other's presence. It left a lot of breathing room for you to think, so you did and reflected.

"May I ask why you are out here alone?" You met Zane's familiar eyes with a weak smile. "Hi Zane." He eyed the spot next to you. "May I?" You nodded and he sat down, adjusting his grip on the golden objects he tightly held. "What are those?"

"The Techno Blades gifted to us by Cyrus Borg before we were attacked. They can hack the system of a corrupted computer and are currently our only hope to defeating the Overlord." You nodded in understanding, allowing your shoulders to droop just a bit. "I can't believe he's back, it felt like only yesterday I defeated him."

"At times, one can forget to count the days." he softly said. You smiled as he scanned your face, taking in every single detail that cracked through your smile. 

"What bothers you?" 

You fiddled with your hands and shrugged. “It’s nothing, just...” 

“Your father?” You nodded and Zane scooted closer to you. “It is only logical you are unused to his presence. You have been separated since you were very young, so it will take time to allow him into your heart again.” 

You sat there in silence for a while, nodding in understanding as he offered a reassuring smile. The door of the dojo suddenly opened and Zane looked past your shoulder. He stood, taking the techno blades with him. “I will take my leave now.” You watched as he disappeared down the hill, sighing at the empty space by your side. 

“Hello (Y/n).” 

You jumped to your feet, balling your hands into fists like you were about to sock someone in the jaw. Your father closed the door behind and made his way down the steps as you relaxed your pose. “It’s just you.” you sighed out. Garmadon nodded. “Just me.” he confirmed. “About earlier--”

“It’s fine.” You turned your back to him, crossing your arms to hug yourself with an uncomfortable frown. He made his way down the stairs, taking a seat on the steps as you plopped down as far away as six feet could take you.

"The sky is quite beautiful tonight." You turned to Garmadon, raising a brow with a look of distaste as he kept his gaze focused on the stars. "When you were younger, you used to sit by your window every night," he smiled to himself. "You refused to go to bed because you were afraid of offending the stars amd moon."

You frowned, picking at a loose thread on your gi. "You remember that?" you quietly mumbled. He nodded, turning to face you with a sad smile. "Of course I do. How could I forget when that was your favourite pass time?" He paused, releasing a long sigh that really spoke of his age. "I know I have caused you and Lloyd so much suffering--something I wish I could reverse--but dwelling on the past won't change anything."

Dwelling on the past won't change anything? Now where have you heard that one? A bitter chuckle rattled past your lips. "Yeah, it's not like I spent everyday wishing you were there to give me the love and support I need. And it's not like I lost my childhood to take care of Lloyd and find a job when I was only fourteen and a half. I totally understand why it's best not to dwell on the past, but it's kinda hard when it's the reason why I'm who I am today."

You kicked at the ground absentmindedly, again avoiding the gaze of your father as if it were fire. "I don't understand why you're always absent. Even after the Final Battle, I've never seen you until now. At least mom stops by and drops something off, or sends post cards and photos of where she's been. She tells me she's missed me and writes letters, but you? I never hear anything--I've always heard nothing. Do you...do you even care?"

He sent you a heartfelt glance, but you ignored it, throwing a hand out to make a point.

"I probably shouldn't have expected anything because I'm always let down anyway. You've never seen this cartoon or movie? Well, course not, because I never had the luxury to sit down and take a break. How are your parents doing, are they coming to the school conference? Course not!" Your shoulders tensed and your breaths became shorter as anger finally took a hold of your heart. "One's been turned into an evil lord and the other's disappeared to find a way to stop a prophecy that could either make or break Ninjago from becoming a land of darkness! You know, I always dreamed of having a perfect, whole family, but that's never gonna happen, not when mum's always gone and you never, ever show up!"

You began walking down the last steps of the stairs, voice cracking as you continued. "I can't believe I began to hope something would change. How...how foolish of me."

You waited for Garmadon to say something, or anything really. Even if it was an insult, a scolding, or a yell, you would take it because then at least you'd remember how it felt like to have a parent tell you what was 'right' or 'wrong'.

Instead of shouting, he sighed.

"(Y/n)," he softly said, "there are three things I've been wanting to tell you for ages, but no matter how long I thought it over, I never found the right words until now." He paused and you kept your back facing him. "You have done all you could to protect Lloyd by defying Destiny to take his place. You became the Green Ninja to fight me and restore balance, then the Golden Ninja to defeat the Overlord and I combined. But now that Lloyd has begun to realise his powers, even you know that you cannot hold his hand much longer."

There was another pause that made your loud mind go insane. Why did he suddenly stop talking? Why had he gone quiet? Was he only saying this to make you feel bad for him?

You licked your chapped lips, clenching a fist. "Well? What's the third thing you wanted to say?"

"I am very proud of you."

Your heart seemed to weigh a ton as it sank in your chest and made your fingers go numb. You suddenly whipped around, marching back up the stairs with a look of disbelief on your face. "'I am very proud of you'?" you demanded. "You're just saying that! How can you be proud of a failure?" You placed a hand on your chest, giving it a good pat to throw your point across.

"I've...I've suffered and had to be a stand-in parent for Lloyd--heck, I even infiltrated Darkley's and pretended to be a boy just to w-watch over him!" You cursed your voice for cracking as you continued. "I hate you. I hate you for making me like this--for taking away my childhood and giving me all these burdens I can't carry! Everyday, I wondered if I was ever going to be able to save Ninjago when I knew I couldn't save myself. I've died a thousand times just to be who I am today, and I'm--" Tears streamed down your cheeks as you threw a hand over your face to hide your tears. "I--I can't..." You sniffled. "Where were you when I needed you dad?! When everyone else had someone, why did you...why did you leave me?" There was a moment of silence as you sniffled before warm arms were around your shoulders and hugging you tight.

"I wasn't there." admitted Garmadon. "I know I wasn't there when I should have been, even when I wanted to make it up to you. The truth is, I wasn't being responsible. I knew you would reject me, so I was a coward and feared the consequences of my actions." He hugged you tighter. "I love you (Y/n). I love you and Lloyd so much and I am more sorry for everything I've done than I can put into words."

And so you stood there in his arms, sobbing as he simply hugged you tighter. You didn't say anything, and maybe that was because you couldn't, so your father took the first step and released you from his arms, keeping a gentle hand on your shoulder. There were a few tears in the corners of his eyes but he smiled despite that. "It's almost dinner time. Why don't we head back inside?"

"Okay."

[werewolf-cl4ws]

Random head cannons for my AU because these require oddly specific questions I don’t think I’ve ever seen ask memes have.

A lot of these I do have something to back them up with, but others it's just logical hilarity to me because I can.

Kitty!Sonic:

- absolutely mistrusts/gets annoyed by anyone that is an "authority figure" (i.e. adults "in charge", leaders, etc) but does nothing to actually be useful. As a kid he was always told to listen to the adults because "they know best", but after the coup and seeing a good number of adults doing everything in their power to just save their own hides or hiding, it fucked him right off. Only adults he’s ever respected were his uncle and Rosie (Rosie took some time to gain that trust though because why the hell is she teaching us maths when people need help???). Bookshire is another but he does fight Bookshire on occasion because Sonic hates fussing with medical stuff.

This carried on into his own adulthood, and it’s hilarious whenever someone points out he’s the adult now as it sets off his aversion to being older, but if he has to be called an adult then damnit he’s gonna be a USEFUL one at least.

And yes he has confirmed on many occasions that he can and will flip off King Acorn if he plays up. What's he gonna do, ground him? Arrest his for treason? He flipped off Robotnik, he ain't scared of no thing.

- his uncle was brilliant with robotics and mechanics and science. Sonic has literally zero idea about any of those. And yet he’s weirdly good at chemistry. But he doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to use this so no one knows this, but Rotor has come by chemistry formulas mysteriously solved if he leaves them out on his workbench after a night of wracking his brains over why something isn’t working. How does Sonic know this? Nobody knows, Sonic will never tell either, and will deny he’s even good at it.

- he’s also very good at physics, in that he knows exactly how to break physics to do impossible shit. He’s great at figuring out just what angles he needs to shoot himself into to get the most air time, how much speed and lift to land in the exact spot, etc. It all happens automatically to him (it has to, going at the speeds he does there’s literally no time to plan this shit) but if someone asks him he will actually figure it out in the spot with freakishly good accuracy, and can do it not just with him being the projectile but any object (he has worked out perfect catapult trajectories before and it still baffles everyone to this day). Again, he doesn’t know how he knows this, will never tell anyone he knows how to do this, and will deny he knows this.

- he’s also good with musical instruments. Obviously his favourite is the electric guitar, but if you give him a sheet of music and at least an hour to mess around with the instrument he’ll work it out. Getting to watch him play the violin is a rare but delightful treat. This is his special interest, the thing he would have gotten into if the world hadn’t gone to shit. He doesn’t get to indulge in it as much as he’s like but he loves music and could ramble about it for hours on end if given the chance.

The con of this though is that he's really good at identifying music, including ones from operas and orchestras. Sally takes great delight in making him identify both because he does get embarrassed about it, but his pride doesn't allow him to just not pick them out.

- he likes to cook, but he prefers recipes that allow him to leave things to cook without him needing to watch it once it’s prepared. So baking, roasting, slow cook stuff like soups and chili, that’s his jam. Anything that’s gonna be a long haul he has to be basically trapped in his hut to do it without wanting to go nuts (so extra cold days where being outside would be hell are good cooking days).

- during the summer he sleeps in a hammock. During the winter he sleeps in a bed and practically buries himself in blankets.

- loves bubblegum. Gum balls, sticks of gum, whatever. If it’s gum he loves it. Unfortunately it is non existent thanks to the coup (shelf life of gum is terrible) so finding any that’s not terrible is an amazing day.

- milk and cookies is oddly a comfort food to him. Something about the simplicity of it just works for him, and ridiculously shit days are made better by it. Default choc chip cookies work best.

- he hates spiders. More specifically, he hates when you see a spider, look away, then look back only to find the spider is gone. Spiders themselves don’t bother him until they do that, but once they do he has to fight himself to not just set whatever building or dwelling he happens to be on fire in order to solve the issue of having to deal with it later.

- he’s about .0001 seconds away from just walking away into the forest and never coming back. He won’t do it because he honestly doesn’t want to abandon his friends… but he’s so close to just becoming a cryptic in the forest. He has wandered off before when things get super annoying, but someone always drags him back, much to his endless frustration.

Sally:

- can’t cook for anything. Sonic has seen her burn water. Toast somehow always ends in fire. No one ever attempt to drink her coffee for your own sake.

And yet somehow she makes really, really good pancakes. Like ridiculously good. She makes them very rarely because she’s always busy with something and has been banned from all kitchens, but when she does they’re amazing and no one can figure out how this happens.

- if she’s snacking on nuts or anything that doesn’t go soggy (like hard/dry fruits, or extra crusty breads) she will sometimes keep some in her cheeks. Not to the point that her cheeks will be bulging with them, but if she’s working while snacking she will just stash some away so she can focus on what she’s doing, and then when she’s done just finishes those off. This only happens when she needs to focus so she’s pretty discreet about this and has perfected talking/quick chewing with them if someone interrupts her.

- she loves video games, but because they’re so hard to come by thanks to the coup she doesn’t get to play as often as she’d like. She knows Sonic, Tails and Rotor has some stashed away and has played them on the sly, which has left them wondering how their high scores got beaten or how new levels have been unlocked. Though she has to be careful about this because if she’s left alone with them long enough she will just play them until either she finishes the game, or someone physically drags her away from it. This is probably her only weak point in terms of something that can just pull her away entirely from everything.

- she is very, very neat… only because she literally doesn’t make a mess of anything thanks to her one-track mind. If she’s working on a plan or something that needs a lot of research she will basically just make a pathway to her desk and bed and leave everything else undisturbed. She will still shower, only because the shower is just another place for her to think without interruption. This is a big factor on why she can’t cook for shit, too. She just… doesn’t. At all. Because she’s gotta work. Work is life because they may literally die if she can’t figure plans out

- she is genuinely fascinated by legends and myths, which we see a lot of in SatAM. Although she does sometimes dismiss some legends or myths as just stories, if she finds anything that even hints at it being real, and if time allows it, she will chase it down. If it’s anything that might be especially useful in their fight she will go for it after doing a ton of research to make sure she’s got every angle and possibility down. The researching to that extent is due to her own perfectionism, but also because if the expedition turns out to be a bust it could mean time that should have been spent on something else/time being away from the village for a crapshoot.

Sonic and Sally as a couple:

- they don’t use pet names for one another… until one of them is absolutely pushing their luck with the other. Pet names = stop it.

- Sally did once call Sonic a shit-weasel out of anger during such a scenario, and then was immediately apologetic for it because that was Too Far™. Sonic said that made him fall in love with her all over again and it was an awesome insult. Pet names are still a no-go though.

- they live together and everyone thinks it’s Sonic that would be the nightmare to live with.

It’s not.

It’s Sally.

Sonic does get messy and likes to live in organised chaos, but Sally just has the worst sleeping habits (she doesn’t sleep), functions mostly on auto-pilot (the amount of times she eats the last of something but leaves the box it came in/was stored in for Sonic to find drives him up the wall something shocking all because she’s just vaguely thinking "I need food I suppose" alongside whatever she’s doing at the time), and if she’s working on something big she will spread herself everywhere (including Sonic’s bed if he isn’t in it or on it in some way).

Sonic won’t move out because he genuinely thinks if he did Sally would never sleep at proper hours or eat like a regular person unless he monitors her. Plus they actually really do like each other’s company and do miss one another if they aren’t in the same space in their down time. But Sonic is constantly amazed at just how much of a gremlin Sally can be and no one believes him.

- Sally takes great delight in this and amps up her gremlin behaviour because of it. If she does this in front of anyone else it just gets encouraged. It’s okay though because Sonic knows how to be a bastard so it’s a constant battle of who can out bastard or out gremlin who.

- they sleep separately (see aforementioned sleeping habits of gremlin ground squirrel), but on occasion will share a bed. Or share the couch. Sharing will almost always result in Sonic being used as a pillow/mattress but he’s fine with it, as long as it means Sally’s sleeping and they get to cuddle ‘cause cuddling is great.

- Sally loves puns. Sonic has begged her not to say puns. He secretly loves them but he hates that he gets them (temporarily forgetting your own language, then relearning it is a trip and picking up the puns does things to his head). Sally does not stop the puns. This has led to Sonic almost achieving his goal of becoming a forest cryptic as he does just start walking out when she starts.

- this is kinda canon but I like to joke that they are actually legally married and this happened during their zone-hopping adventures. But the marriage itself happened in the most mundane way for the most mundane reason, and yet it is legally binding and they do actually have wedding rings from it. They don’t wear the rings but they do carry it on their person at all times, and pull them out just to blindside people with them because it’s funny.

[popculturebuffet]

Wallace and Gromit Retrospective: A Matter of Loaf and Death: The Wrong Wallace (Comission by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to my Wallace and Gromit retrospective. We’re almost at the close, after this there’s only one film left after this, the theatrical opus “Curse of the Were-Rabbit”. You may be thinking “Wait didn’t this come out after the movie”. And your right.. but the movie simply felt like a stronger finale going out on their one and only feature film, than on that fourth short most people would rather forget. 

This one coming long after the original shorts days of playing on cartoon network on loop, I naturally caught this one a few years after it came out. Keep in mind the planet wasn’t as plugged in back then so there weren’t any talks of streaming or any alerts to tell me “oh there’s a new wallace and gromit short” and none of the networks I watched aire dit. I only found out when it ended up on TV at one point.

And I... was underwhelmed. 

Yeah it was a feeling I couldn’t quite grapple with: It wasn’t BAD but something felt not as good as the others. Was it because I hadn’t seen it as much? It coudln’t be nostalgia, curse was only a few years older than this. What was it. 

Turns out the answer.. was it was just okay. It wasn’t me and I wasn’t the only one to feel this. I’d just put the franchise on a pedestal and it was hard not to see whY: i’d seen the original three loads of times, loved the move and loved everything else Aardman had put out. I just wasn’t as used to something disapointing me. Whereas now I have a lifetimes worth of disapointmetns bulit up.. come on let me share some with you just off the top off my head

DISAPOINTMENTS JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

 Wonder Woman 1984

IT Chapter 2

The Loud House Movie

My Dad’s Politics

The President not helping civilians out of afganatsthan

The Coronovirus getting a second wind thanks to people’s stupidity

Final Space Season 3

Final Space not getting another season and probably not a movie

Ducktales getting canceled

No Clear news on a darkwing duck spinoff

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Jason Aaron’s Avengers

Dan Slott’s Fantastic Four

Dan Slott’s Fantastic Four Making Franklin Richards Not a Mutant

American Crime Story: Impeachment not coming to FX on Hulu

Jeff Bezos coming back from space alive

Myself

All the Movie Delays from Last Year

The Spider-Man Games not being on switch

Psychonauts 2 not being on switch

Let’s just save time and say a lot of things not being on switch

Not getting to play it takes two with kev

The 87 Turtles being used in Allstarbrawl instead of the rise ones

The Rise Movie being delayed to next year

Regular Show Season 7

Star Vs Final Arc

Teen TItans Academy

Finding out Guardians of the Galaxy was stream only on switch

Sonic Origins Collection not being released till next year

No Mega Man Battle Network Anniversary Collection

Look a lot of those are petty, some not so much, and I probably coudl go on but i’m not getting paid to list all of my petty and not so petty frustrations. I’m getting paid to talk about wallace and gromit. My point is I wasn’t used to things letting me down as much as I am now. So this was kind of a shock. And compared to most of these, it’s not honestly that bad, but it was still one of my major disapoitnments. And if you want to know why... then join me under the cut for a full review and analysis of “a matter of loaf and death” won’t you?

Not a lot of production stuff this time, in part because production ran very smoothly with Lord preferring this to curse of the were rabbit, which had tons of studio interfernce from dreamworks.. but more on that next time. In contrast BBC actually knew what luck they had in comissioning this and thus didn’t rock the boat. 

So we open  with a baker going about buisness, being stalked by someone in POV till he warmly greets said someone.. who then kills him and causes him to drop dead in his own dough

Yeah as you can probably guess by the overt murder, if slightly goofily done because this is still wallace and gromit, this is a bit darker than the other shorts.. emphasis on a bit. The first one had Gromit feel he needed to leave and was edged out of his home and the second had him arrested for a crime he didn’t commit and the rest of our heroes nearly fed into a grinder. The series has always been goofily light with a tinge of darkness, this one just added an extra tinge is all. It’s a bit darker, including some animal abuse and attempted murder.. but it just dosen’t strike me as THAT much worse than the other films. Only one bit to me is truly out of step with the tone of this franchise, and that’s really it. Everything else fits the series penchant for mildly dark but still wonderfully cartoony stories it’s had since the “Wrong Trousers”, just escalated slightly.  And frankly they needed to escalate things slightly since the last short invovled a robot dog and the movie involved our hero turning into a giant rabbit monster.  If they were going to do a plot like this they had to go all in as much as they could while still keeping the needed pg rating. 

Anyway it’s a new short so that mean’s it’s a new job for our heroes who have set up a bakery in their house which has now been upgraded into a windmill.  Now simple logic says they simply moved into a windmill to make baking easier.. but Wallace and Gromit logic says there’s a whole short we didn’t get to see where Wallace destroys the entire top level of their house to make it into a bakery/windmill. Probably involved some sort of time traveling goose who likes to steal people’s shoes. 

Naturally Wallace, like myself, is a sleepy bitch and has to be woken up. Gromit isn’t even phased by it he just lines up a water balloon to fall on his best friend/owner/dead weight. The breakfast machine gag is gone, replaced with a neat tube slide that gets him in gear. I got to admit I do love the bakery setup here, including the boys inflating their chef’s hats with a little sunroof for them to stick through. It’s incredibly charming. 

So our heroes pull of deliveries, with loaves of fun to be had until they encounter a woman on a runaway bicycle with her dog... said woman being familiar to Wallace as “The Bake-O-Lite” girl and naturally gives chase to help her. Said chase is fun as you’d expect iwth Wallace actually proving useful for once, not only JUMPING ON THE BIKE himself to stop it iwth his body, but suggesting gromit throw some baked goods to serve as cusions

Eventaully our heroes stop it.. just before an alligator pit.... 

Wallace properly introduces himself to the Bake-O-Lite girl, Piella Bakewell, former spokesmodel for said company who strikes up a flirtation with wallace. Gromit notices two things: how shaky the woman’s dog, Fluffles, is.. and that when fixing the bike the breaks were fine. He naturally suspects something’s up but Wallace is too smitten and too dumb to notice. 

Later that day as their working, Wallace is mooning over Piella, and look if I happened to save Karen Gillian from a runaway bicycle i’d be moony too.. and also look over any shady circumstances, so I get it .I get it.  And what a concidence Piella shows up to thank him/ask him out.. and uses Fluffles as a tool to help it along, leaving Gromit with all the work. Cue your standard falling in love montage: while Gromit is left doing both their jobs, Wallace has fun with his new sweetie: doing flamnico, having a picnic and..... reinacting... the pottery scene.. from ghost.. with a... certain look on his face...

........... 

excuse...me.... for...a...moment...

Okay now i’m legally blind, i’m up for a parody of the pottery scene from ghost as much ast he next guy whose never seen Ghost, but I think I can speak for all of mankind when I say we NEVER needed to see Wallace’s O-Face and that it will haunt me as long as I live. And all of you because if I suffer you suffer.  Tis the true face of madnes, the face we’ll all see in the end times, the face of your childhood getting really horny and not in a way anyone can enjoy. It’s like imagining your elderly uncle getting horny.. no one wants that and no one asked for this.. and if you did please don’t tell  me. I know i’ve been attracted to weirder but I still please ask not to know for my sanity’s sake. 

So naturally Wallace’s good fortune becomes Gromit’s bad fortune as Piella basically moves in, throws all of Gromit’s stuff away, and in general invades their house. And this is where the film’s biggest issue really kicks in: Wallace is insufferable in this film. Just like Wrong Trousers, he lacks any empathy for his pooch/roomate, letting his girlfriend throw al lhis stuff out, shove him out of his house and not carring as long as he gets his dick hard and OH GOD WHY DID I SAY THAT

This review is like living in a living nightmare. The point is he puts a new partner over his best friends feelings. And yes Gromit is his dog.. but for starters I woudln’t stands my partner mistreating my dog or throwing out his things.. my dog dosen’t have things other than a bowl granted because he won’t play with toys but still, if he had a record collection I wouldn’t let them fuck with it. 

For finishers... it just isn’t consistent with the last short and the movie. Sure gromit was treated more lik ea dog in wrong trousers... but both Close Shave and Were Rabbit had wallace treating him more like a sorta equal who just happened to be his dog/live in butler. He went to regular jail instead of the pound, didn’t walk on all fours nearly as much, and was more humanoid. You just can’t suddenly go back to the way things were after you changed it.  You can’t return to a previous state of play without it being an outright reboot. I Know this series isn’t exactly stable in continuity, I get that, but it is stable in how it treats thign sna dhow it evolved and going back to an old way of treating Gromit just to make a plot work is way lazier than I expected.

Speaking of Lazy, said snapback also calls to mind another problem with the short: it’s plot is too similar to wrong trousers. It’s not a direct copy, to it’s benefit and the villian at the heart is a good one and we’ll get to that, so it’s not the biggest or most tedious retread i’ve seen.. but it’s still a story where a new intruder in wallace and gromit’s life makes Gromit’s life that much harder, and Wallace does nothing to stop it as he’s oblvious ot his pain. It wasn’t the part of that plot I liked the FIRST time around and it was done better then, as at least wallace felt bad about the room a bit. Here he just cares fuck all nad it makes it that much worse. While the villian’s motive, personality and scheme with wallace are all diffrent, the fact it’s basically the same thing again in a franchise this small just makes it all the more glaring their repeating themselves. And for a fracnchise where each work felt unique and stood out that’s utterly disapointing. 

Gromit has a fit in his room over the situation, only to find a pleasant suprise: Fluffles. Fluffles is a great addition to things and while the obligatory new animal sidekick, is a diffren tbreed: a very sad soul. And while we did “sad soul love intrest forced to work with the villian last time” cuddles is unique enough and well animated enough, via her constant and endearingly heartbreaking shakes, for me to let that bit of repettition slide. Her reasons are diffrent from wendolyne: wendolyne mistrusted her fathe’rs creation until it was too late and let him lead her into stuff. Fluffles is simply an abused dog who dosen’t get a choice and like most abuse victims is likely too scared to make one. The two have a moment before she leaves.

Piella ends up leaving her changepurse behind so Gromit decides to take it back... and also snoop, heading to her spooky mansion, likely repurposed slightly from the mansion scene intended for the “Wrong Trousers”. It’s a nice, eerie scene as we don’t know what Gromit will find and if Piella will show up, and he soon finds himself face to face with a rather eerie site: 13 Manequeins with bakers hats.. and an album containin gpicutres of EVERY dead baker.. and one with wallace at the end. While obvious for the audeince given the opening, and frankly given the fact that the instestive woman who threw a dog’s stuff out in the bin is probably the bigger suspect than the shaky traumatized poodle. Wallace is the last of a “baker’s dozen”. 

Gromit ends up having to hide and sees more of Fluffle’s sad life, having to sleep in a cardboard vitabix box with Piella planning on finishing wallace tommorow. 

Gromit unforunately choose to hide in a chandeleer so he ends up trapped there all night, thankfuly only falling once piella was gone. It’s then we get something a bit dumb as Gromit decides to rush home to tell wallace.. instead of thinking “Gee PIella’s gone and clearly playing him maybe I should stash this in case she’s here. “

Instead he runs home, likely to save Wallace but still he could’ve thrown it in a bush or something, and finds the “happy couple”: are now engaged and free to ghost anytime they want and OH GOD

Just... a bit further jake you can do this. Piella end sup fake hugging Gromit and throwing the album in the fire. Congrats on being astoundingly stupid Gromit, you now know how your pal feels every day of his life. 

So Gromit studies up on survllaince and preps the house to be death proof to save his owner. An evil version of Kurt Russel asked about using it to murder some women but he just gave him a brow furrow and called the police. 

This leads.. tot he worst scene in the thing and honestly the five shorts: After some pretty funny shenanigans.. Piella fakes being bit. And Wallace.. FULLY FUCKING BUYS IT. Yes, no trust in the dog whose saved his life FOUR TIMES AT THIS POINT and will again for reasons that will forever escape me, no love, no regret just getting mad at his dog, putting him in a mask and chaning him up. No asking if he did it no, sorry later just being a big dick to his pet. And again were this an actual dog i’d get beliving the human and the dog would likely being agressive. But gromit has NEVER bit in all four shorts and dosen’t seem like he would. It’d work better of Piella played up the sympathy card iwth Wallace being regretfully but submitting to it and reluctantly doing it. But him just up and doing so so quickly, just bleiving his dog is the oppisite of the good boy we know he is with no real poof other than a way too thin bite mark.... it’s just utterly infurating. 

Naturally this nearly gets Wallace killed with Piella tries to shove him off a high ledge. 

Gromit can’t save him.. but a mysterious flower sack does, Causing Piella to spil lher real guts, throw the ring at wallace and call him a fruitcake, storming out. And given the way she picks up fluflles and is angery at the poor pupper.. it’s clear who saved him. 

Gromit comforts wallace who wondered how this happened, and asks if he’s a fruitcake.. and Gromit can only respond with a very strained look of the eyes. It’s gloriouss as it is accurate to the question. 

Piella ends up showing up with a cake for wallace who intends to have it with tea. Gromit is both curious about what the hell her plan is this time and knowing he can’t stop Wallace from submitting to natural selection goes to Piellas mansion again to investigate and to hopefully find Fluffles, who didn’t come with her this time.

Turns out though Piella is a clever psycho and knew he’d do this. and is thus ready to grab him literally and metaphorically by the throat. 

She does make the mistake too many villians make.. she throws gromit, and fluffles, in her closet.. the same one where her old bake-o-lite balloon is. 

So Gromit escapes with his new lady to go save wallace, and both arrive just in time. And after wallace stupidly lights the candle/fuse a bunch the bomb, which hilariously is a cartoon bomb with BOMB in white letters on it. Wallace’s reactoin? “Gromit.. it’s a bomb!”

Piella stops it with her foot, holding Fluffles hostage only for th dog to you know, bite her, her first bit of karma.. and another sign everyone in this movie, even gromit is some form of brain dead. 

Our climax ensues. First Gromit has to get rid of the bomb but finds some nuns and some ducks in his path

And get sblocked by piella, but ends up getting rid of it when Wallace intervenes. We then find out Piella’s motives in a gloriously hammy rant: turns out she blames bakers for her gaining weight and thus loosing her sponsorship. 

While I have issues with this short... I do like Piella as a villian. She has a sympathetic motive, being dropped for doing the very thing she was supposed to (eat a lot of baked goods), taking it out on the wrong person. It make sher no less of a monster mind you, but it’s still more motive than the other villians which are “Steal a diamond to make more crime money”, “got his switch flipped to evil” and “shoot a rabbit man to seduce a woman who probably won’t be impressed by this” It’s what makes it work

And while this wasn’t the best short as always the climax is spectacular as Fluffles get sher revenge, arriving in a baking version of the power loader from alien and smacking that bitch up like the boss bitch that she is, getting her revenge and knocking her abusvie owner out a window. It’s oh so cathartic. 

Piella ends up doing herslef in riding away on the balloon.. which collapses in front of the alligators. This is that bit I mentiond earlier that’s a bit too dark: while we don’t SEE her eaten to death and she certainlyd eserved it.. it isn’t any less horrific. I mean yes Preston was ground into parts but he was also a robot and got brought back right after as his old self. I mean the evil version of hi mwas dead but he tried to kill sheeps man fuck him. 

So Fluffles leaves, leaving Gromit heartbroken and Wallace to console his best buddy, finally having regained his brain. We do get a really sweet ending though: The two head out for work, only to find fluffles waiting.. and not only does Gromit, after 4 shorts and a movie worth of bullshit, get the girl.. btu Wallace gladly welcomes her “Always room for a small one”. it’s just a sweet gesture that reminds me that while Wallace can annoy me.. at his best he is a sweetheart. So the two play each other off to puppy love as the three head into the sunset. Awwwwww. And I managed to make it through the rest of the reivfew without thinking of wallace getting horny in some capacity again DAMMIT. 

Final Thoughts: So as you could tell this short is a step down from the others and has some serious issues with Wallace’s characterization and repeating itslef. It also has some pacing issues, with scene sometimes having a drawn out feel.

But... it’s still okay. It’s still got fluid animation, some great jokes, some clever puns, and a wonderful climax. That’s the weird thign: while it isn’t AS good as everything else.. it’s still not BAD. It’s just okay. I think it just had the misforutne of following three masterclases in short film and a loved theatrical film is all, and Park likely reveled in getting to do what he wanted without being told to make it more american or fucking replace the lead actor, yes that really happened, that he probably got a bit too compfrable and fell back on old patterns. IT’s not BAD it just feels like the other stuff was fresher and more vibrrant is all. Still worth a watch if your rewatching or watching all the shorts but not really worth seeking out if you haven’t seen the others yet.

Next Time: The Retrospective closes as Wallace and Gromit go theatrical! It’s rabbit season baby! 

[edward18]

I posted 113 times in 2021

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For every post I created, I reblogged 0.0 posts.

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Longest Tag: 77 characters

#queen pulsating bloated festering sweaty pus-filled malformed slug for a butt

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Every now and then I get some ideas for a story of Zim that'd take place after Enter the Florpus, so I ended up scribbling some of those concepts here. It’d have Tak finally come back into the picture with her having returned to Irk after finding out about the "death" of The Tallest as the Navigator of The Massive it'd turn out would have evacuated the ship as it was getting sucked into The Florpus and would end up bumping into her on some planet. What's left of The Irken Armada would end up coming together under a new leadership that has begun to target Zim for his part in the whole ordeal. Dib would end up becoming one of the new Tallest eventually. These were all just ideas I had for it ^_^

34 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 22:06:42 GMT

#4

Spent the last few days making this =) first part of the final battle of Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow fighting his “older brother”, The Biolizard.

36 notes • Posted 2021-03-11 17:57:32 GMT

#3

Started putting this together the other day. Good ol’ Link fighting Ganon =)

39 notes • Posted 2021-05-04 15:20:46 GMT

#2

Just some Zim scribbles I decided to color the past hour or so =P

40 notes • Posted 2021-05-06 20:53:20 GMT

#1

Did this one about a year and a few months ago. Always have wanted to animate the fight between Takanuva and Makuta myself, but with how much work that’ll take, if I ever do it, I just decided to make a colored picture of it instead back then =)

48 notes • Posted 2021-04-03 19:41:41 GMT

I generally don't care about all the "popularity" and "top ten" whatever-garbage that the internet focuses on these days, but out of curiosity of how this works I decided to take a look at what all this "recap" of the year entailed. Was kind of surprised that the oldest piece of mine they selected came out as number 1. Do love that one though =)

For the sake of it, since it is Bionicle, if people like that stuff I did also do a video on Bionicle if anyone wants to see that over here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slpHB4OLWTA

DeviantArt gallery's over here: https://warahi.deviantart.com/gallery

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 196: The Christmas Monolith and the Warminster Thing

"The air was brazenly filled with a menacing sound. Sudden vibrations came overhead, chilling in intensity. They tore the quiet atmosphere to raucous rags and descended upon her savagely. Shockwaves pounded at her head, neck and shoulders."

– Descriptions of the “Thing” by Arthur Shuttlewood, as reported in his book, The Warminster Mystery

Description:

In a rare dual-subject episode for us, we take a look at two somewhat Christmas-themed stories, the mysterious yet not-so-mysterious "Utah Monolith" and the Warminster "Thing." In the first part of the show, we discuss the recent discovery of a 9.8-foot-tall metal triangular prism-shaped pillar we've dubbed "The Christmas Monolith." This story made the rounds after state biologists from the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources spotted the out-of-place-artifact while conducting a survey of bighorn sheep by helicopter over San Juan County in southeastern Utah on November 18, 2020. Two days later, the Utah Department of Public Safety posted a photo of the monolith on Instagram, with more pictures and videos of the puzzling pillar to follow. The internet and media outlets were soon abuzz with speculation about who, human, alien, or otherwise, would've illegally planted the iconic looking structure in such a remote red sandstone slot canyon in the middle of nowhere and why. Other metal columns have appeared in Romania and California, prompting the question, are these pranks, artworks, a message, or perhaps all three? The second part of our show tonight examines a freakish "flap" of High Strangeness that's so fantastic in its details and so widely experienced at the time that it's baffling why the story has mostly become forgotten. Generally considered to have gotten its start in the early hours of Christmas morning in 1964, this saga of shocking incidents in hindsight seems to have only publically peaked on December 25th and continued well into the following year, and only gradually declined in the decade to follow. The holiday literally started with a bang for the residents of the town of Warminster in Wiltshire County in southwestern England. Numerous citizens and British soldiers training nearby awoke to a medley of piercing, thundering, clattering, metallic noises in the sky and on their rooftops, the nature of which nearly defies description. The strange and untraceable sounds would continue to accost the townsfolk, with some reporting these sonic attacks were so violent it threw them to the ground and sickened their pets. As 1965 wore on, the unearthly rackets would eventually coincide with sightings of unidentified aerial phenomena and craft so unique they sound unusual even for a UFO wave. And what bouillabaisse of the bizarre would be complete without cattle disappearances, freaky interstellar messengers, and tall, humanoid-alien visitors? Warminster had it all. All told, this series of strangeness was so beyond comprehension, and with no vocabulary to satisfactorily describe it, the phenomena became simply known as the Warminster "Thing."

Location:

The former site of the “Utah Monolith” a.k.a. “The Christmas Monolith.” The 9.8-foot tall metal prism-shaped triangular pillar was discovered on November 18, 2020, in a red sandstone slot canyon in the former Lockhart Basin in northern San Juan County, Utah. The structure was spotted by state biologists from the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources while conducting a survey of bighorn sheep by helicopter. The monolith was seen being removed by four unknown men on November 27, 2020. If you zoom in all the way on the above map you can see its shadow.

Location:

The town of Warminster in the western part of Wiltshire county in southwestern England. Warminster sits on the western edge of Salisbury Plain, famous for the standing stones of Stonehenge and Avebury as well as other ancient landmarks, and known as “crop circle country.” Wiltshire is also home to training facilities for the British military.

Reference Links:

The “Utah Monolith” on Wikipedia

“The Warminster ‘Thing’: UFOs and Supernatural Disturbances in ‘Small Town England’” by “MirageMan” on AboveTopSecret.com

The UFO-Warminster website

The timeline of events on the UFO-Warminster website

“The mystery of Warminster's 'UFO'“ By Kevin Goodman on the BBC News website

“UFO called “The Thing” celebrates 50th anniversary in Warminster” on OpenMinds.tv

“BBC Documentary on the Warminster UFO Flap” on AboveTopSecret.com

“1964, United Kingdom, The Warminster Thing (UFO)” on UFOCasebook.com

Warminster, a town in southwestern England

Wiltshire County, England

“10 Unsolved Christmastime Mysteries” by Robin Warder on Listverse.com

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Credits:

Episode 196: The Christmas Monolith and the Warminster Thing.  Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2020 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

[eat-the-richard]

Sonic’s 30th: What it could be and what it won’t be

Well folks, it's about that time again. Our beloved Sonic thee Hedgehog is turning the big three-oh this year.

I say that time “again” because, y’know, it seems like we just went through this. The last mainline Sonic releases, Sonic Mania and Sonic Forces, were both revealed as part of Sonic’s 25th anniversary. In a sense, that’s all us fans really have to look forward to anymore. Waiting for about five-or-so rotations around the sun to pass until SEGA can slap that big number next to Sonic’s mug to usher out as much celebratory marketing material as they can, all for the chance to get a smidgen of new video games to get our hands on.

This anniversary feels... different, though. Last anniversary SEGA had an absolute winner on their hands in Sonic Mania. There was no way the team behind that one could possibly mess up. And even if Sonic Forces turned out like... that, it at least made sense from SEGA’s perspective to greenlight a game like it during that time. But the five years since those games were announced have done little to assuage my worries about what exactly is planned for this year’s big game.

You see, Sonic has kind of vanished. He’s lost. M.I.A.. Which feels strange. Even during the supposed “dark age” of Sonic, he never really went anywhere. New games were still being produced like clockwork for a whole host of gaming systems. From mainline titles to spinoffs, dedicated Sonic fans had a lot to sink their teeth into back then. Since the release of Forces, all we really have to show for ourselves is a (personally) insignificant expansion to Sonic Mania and a new racing title which, frankly, didn’t set the world on fire when it was released. I suppose there’s a whole host of mobile titles that I didn’t mention but it’s difficult to get excited over yet another Sonic auto-runner. Perhaps most bafflingly, there haven’t even been many ports of older Sonic titles to modern hardware. If the mid-2000s were the dark ages of Sonic, perhaps right now we’re living in the “silent age,” where basically nothing is even happening and the franchise is at an eternal standstill.

The sole exception to this self-titled silent era was the Sonic movie, which I don’t think anyone anticipated being as big of a success as it was. Including the studio behind it. And especially including SEGA. It was utterly baffling to me that, upon the film’s release, there was nothing in the way of a tie-in game. Nothing directly associated with the movie. Nothing separate to release alongside the movie. Nothing. Some have speculated that SEGA was supremely unconfident in the film and it's hard to argue otherwise. It seems that, in a sense, the movie was a success in spite of the company the IP is linked with.

That’s why this anniversary feels more peculiar than the last one. At least Sonic was doing something in the early 2010s. Perhaps nothing groundbreaking, but he was at least around. If it hadn’t been for the movie, how in the world would the series be attracting new fans? This anniversary needs to be big. It needs to be the explosive re-emergence of Sonic to not only please the jaded oldies but the next generation of kids. And… I just don’t anticipate anything of the sort.

To me, Sonic Team has about four directions they could take the 30th anniversary game. Here they are, listed in descending order of likelihood.

4. A new “boost” game. Sonic Team ain’t opening that can of worms again.

3. A new “classic Sonic” game. While Christian Whitehead’s new studio has been deafeningly silent since forming, I believe that we’d have a bit more information about a Sonic Mania sequel by now if that was indeed in development.

2. Something entirely different.

1. Sonic Adventure 3 (or comparable analog).

Now, your reaction to that list may differ depending on your preferences and the year you were born. To me, something evoking nostalgia to the two Sonic Adventures is the safest and most likely choice for SEGA and Sonic Team. Just as classic nostalgia permeated through the 2010s, Adventure nostalgia will trailblaze full force through the 2020s. There are a lot of people whose only exposure to Sonic at all is playing Sonic Adventure 2 Battle on their GameCube. And the only way those people could potentially get funneled back into the series is through a proper Sonic Adventure 3, or at least something like it.

This, of course, says nothing about the overall quality of what this new Adventure title would be. And really, this is my main concern with the 30th anniversary. Can I even trust Sonic Team anymore to put out a good game?

Regardless of style, I’m unconfident to say the least. The staff that worked on the Adventure titles are not at SEGA anymore. The staff that spearheaded the “boost trilogy” of Unleashed, Colors, and Generations are not at SEGA anymore. And modern-day Sonic Team’s idea of something entirely different is, well, unappealing. Sonic Lost World proved that trying to change the core of the series for its own sake leads to a bland and uninspiring experience. And Forces? Oh… Forces.

Really, Forces is the main reason why I’m so disillusioned. Maybe it was that I was excited for the grand return of the boost. Maybe it was that I loved Generations so much that a proper sequel to it couldn’t possibly be bad. Instead of being a sequel to Generations, though, it tries to be everything at once. A game to appeal to the classic fans, the Adventure fans, the boost fans, those whole love complicated narratives, those who love the many characters this series has, and, obviously, the Original Character Artists™. Jack of all trades, master of nothing. A directionless, soulless game that in some instances is seemingly artificially-generated.

If this spectacular 30th anniversary Sonic game is something entirely different, it had to break an astounding amount of new ground. It had to rethink and reshape the series so drastically that, honestly, I don’t think it's very likely. I don’t think Sonic Team has even the slightest clue about what makes their flagship IP so appealing to so many people. If the nostalgia-fueled 2010s are any indication, SEGA only understands what makes Sonic so popular on a superficial level. 

They know we liked the 2D games, so now EVERY game has 2D in it! Oh, they didn’t like that Sonic has green eyes. Well, let’s bring back the CLASSIC version of Sonic. Let’s actually make him his own character who will also appear in every game! 

New zone ideas? LMAO how about we reuse the same set of classic levels over and over! Green Hill? YES! Chemical Plant? Of course! Let’s make an entire game that has both Sonics running around in a bunch of old zones. Wait, didn’t we just do that idea last year for Sonic 4 Episode 1? And aren’t we going to do that idea NEXT year for Sonic 4 Episode 2? WAIT DID SOMEONE SAY CHECKERBOARD PATTERNS IN WINDY HILL ZONE!???!!!! 

Oh wait, Christian Whitehead just pitched to us a brand new 2D Sonic game with classic physics and new levels? We’ll let him do it, but ONLY if it is ANOTHER nostalgia game that reuses old zones! 

Let’s inundate our fans with the same images of their childhood to activate their dopamine receptors! 

I can hardly wait for what this team’s idea of Sonic Adventure nostalgia looks like. Hope you really like City Escape.

Really, while such appeals to nostalgia are welcome the first few times, after a while it starts to get grating. Sonic Team leaning so hard into it during the 2010s reeks to me of desperation. As if the constant callbacks are the only thing the team knows how to do to link new games with the rest of the series. 

In actuality, fans don’t like Sonic because of the classic design or 2D-platforming or Green Hill Zone. They may like those things, but it isn’t why they continue to support the series. Fans love Sonic so fervently because, when he hits on all cylinders, he really hits. His games play in a supremely rewarding way where skill mastery is key. The better you are at Sonic, the better you feel while playing it. The personalities and designs of all of the different characters, from Sonic to Tails to Vector the freakin’ Crocodile, are not only distinct from each other but bleed through into gameplay in the way that they control and in how they are animated. Sonic’s best stories are ones that people can really relate to, dealing with a whole host of themes such as environmentalism, resisting fascism, surpassing expectations, and even the concept of free will among nonhuman entities. Not especially deep, but certainly thought provoking, especially for kids. All tied together with top notch visual and audio design that will stand the test of time. I’d posit that, while people like Sonic for a whole host of reasons, their starting point lies somewhere in the above explanation.

Hopefully, Sonic Team has realized by now that nostalgia will only get them so far. While a Sonic Adventure 3 would turn heads, it wouldn’t push the series forward. While a proper sequel to Sonic Mania would be a critical darling, it would continue to keep Sonic’s feet firmly planted in 1991. Sonic needs to evolve. He needs to change. And it seems like a change is happening. Roger Craig Smith, the voice of Sonic for the last 10 years, is no longer working with the series. The new TV series, Sonic Prime, is set to take place in a “strange new multiverse.” Even the Sonic movie refuses to lean on nostalgia too hard. 

So maybe the future will be set in unfamiliar waters. But if this is the case, I don’t want SEGA to half ass it. I want them to boldly step into that abyss with a vision of Sonic that appeals to the heart of the fandom. Because, even if it's been down recently, that heart is still beating, and after the abuse it's already taken, it’s going to take a hell of a lot to get it to stop. And if SEGA can get this heart pumping to its full extreme as it had in years past, we may have something legendary to look forward to.

They could also just release a bunch of old Sonic games on Switch. I’d like that too.

[mobius-prime]

248. Sonic the Hedgehog #179

House of Cards (Part Two: Royal Flush)

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen

Sonic and Tails are still embroiled in their fight from last issue, with Sonic trying to convince Tails to stand down so he can rush off to stop Rosemary and Amadeus from doing anything stupid. Tails, of course, refuses, hitting him again, and Sonic angrily tells him that while he understands sticking up for his parents, he's not cool with this whole "punching your best friend" business, to which Tails simply yells that Sonic's had this coming for a long time.

Oof, this is even worse than we previously thought. Rosemary and Amadeus approach the castle's side entrance, and Amadeus is suspicious when the codes he enters on the keypad let him in without a problem, realizing that since they haven't been changed since his arrest this must mean Elias is inviting him in. Indeed, inside the castle we see Elias urging his wife Megan along with their baby daughter Alexis to take shelter inside the nursery while he deals with the revolutionaries breaking in. He quickly orders Nicole, standing nearby, not to wake up his father under any circumstances, just as Amadeus and Rosemary enter the room.

I mean, while you have a point, Elias, the city is hardly going to fall to anarchy the moment it stops being ruled by a monarch. Keeping the peace is kind of the entire point of a democracy. Rosemary calls him out, insisting he should listen to his people who were just calling for a reformation earlier that same day, but Elias insists he won't step down, so Amadeus draws his sword. Elias reveals two honestly pretty cool-looking short double-ended blades beneath his royal cloak, and thus, the two parties clash swords…

And speaking of a clash, Sonic has finally gotten tired of fighting Tails inside the jail, heckled as they are by all the onlookers. Sonic rushes outside, and Tails follows him angrily, and what follows is possibly the most bizarre and scattered string of accusations he could possibly make. He calls Sonic out for, in order: leaving him behind on a lot of missions when he was younger, teasing him when he talked about his own adventures (to which Sonic objects that he teases everyone), and finally not immediately breaking his father out of prison when he got arrested. Sonic is truly baffled by the last one, considering Amadeus wasn't even in jail for a full twelve hours, and then Tails finally screams out the real reason he's so angry - Fiona. Yep, that's right, he's still hung up on Fiona - or should I say, Ian is still hung up on using her as a weird plot point in Tails' character arc.

Okay. You guys already know how I feel about the whole "Tails loving Fiona" thing. It's weird and unnecessary and just doesn't seem to fit literally anything else about Tails' character. But let's assume for a second that it is a valid thing to be upset about and that the whole plot point isn't weird as hell. A ton of things have just fallen into place with his little speech here. Tails has indeed been acting weird ever since Sonic returned from space, and he and Sonic haven't had a single good, honest heart-to-heart about it in all that time. Things have been strained between them for a while, and honestly, I'd say this is even less about Fiona than it is about Sonic being careless and forgetting to show Tails that he actually respects him. He's gotten so used to taking Tails' devotion for granted that once things started getting tense, he didn't know how to handle it, and ended up settling on the less-than-healthy option of  ignoring the problem and hoping it would go away. I've seen plenty of people point to this issue as a bad case of these two being totally out of character, but the problem that people cite always seems to be that Sonic and Tails are fighting at all, rather than what they're fighting about. And frankly, while Tails' initial stated reason for fighting Sonic - to help his parents overthrow the government - didn't make a ton of sense, anyone who knows anything about psychology knows that when one person is mad at another but isn't able to properly express why, those bottled up feelings can come bursting out in all sorts of bizarre ways, including many that don't seem to make any outward sense. And, of course, this can include blaming the other person for things that seem totally out of the blue - because that's not actually what they're angry about at all.

My takeaway from all this is that, again, Tails is not angry about the Fiona thing so much as that the Fiona thing represents a lot of what he has actually been upset about, and he's been carrying around these feelings of resentment that have been slowly building up for years. It's a very believable and reasonable reason for these two to end up butting heads, especially considering Sonic can be quite arrogant and self-centered at times, even without meaning to. In essence, what Tails is ultimately expressing in this whole outburst is that he's no longer content to simply be the forgotten sidekick who always has to take a backseat to Sonic's glory. And if you're wondering why Tails in the comics needs this character arc but not Tails in the games, that very premise is mistaken from the get-go - because he did get this moment of character growth in the games, just under totally different circumstances. Remember how the comics' Sonic Adventure arc never included Tails battling the Egg Walker or saving Station Square from the missile Eggman fired? In the games, that was a very important part of Tails' growth as a character - learning that he could be independent from Sonic and didn’t always have to rely on him or trail behind him, that he could be a hero in his own right. But that entire sequence was cut from the version of the story we got in the comics, and thus, Tails was still left as the sidekick, the little kid, the dependent younger brother without a family of his own. I would imagine that he had to teach himself a lot of that lost independence in the year that Sonic was missing - and it had to be jarring once he got over his initial joy at having Sonic back in his life, the realization that to Sonic, he was still the little dependent sidekick when he'd grown so much since those days. And since his life situation has so drastically changed even in just the last few weeks, all of these feelings have finally come bursting out of him in the form of siding with his biological parents over Sonic. With his above comments about Fiona and about taking away everything he cares about, the entire situation has just become crystal clear to Sonic, and now he wants to make amends, finally knowing exactly what has been bothering Tails this whole time.

But ANYWAY! While all that is going on above, Elias and Amadeus continue to battle it out, only to be shocked by the sudden appearance of a solid wall of nanites in between them. Nicole cheerfully announces from the doorway that while Elias told her not to wake up his father, he said absolutely nothing about waking up Sally, and that's exactly what she's done, with Sally glaring at the two combatants in stark disapproval.

See, this is why Sally should have been involved in the proceedings from the beginning. Outside, Tails has halted his attack after Sonic's words, uncertain about what Sonic is getting at, so Sonic explains himself.

There you go, Sonic. That was what he needed all along - a genuine apology and understanding of his feelings. Tails calms down once Sonic reassures him he's being sincere, and Sonic lightens the mood by joking that Tails has gotten too good at kicking butt for Sonic to want to continue being beaten on by him. Tails says he still wants to talk a few things out, but for now, they agree to team up, rushing to the castle to try to prevent Tails' parents from doing anything they'll regret. They're quite taken aback when they burst through the doors only to find Amadeus and Elias sitting down to a peaceful talk over tea, having agreed on a compromise. The government will be reformed into a combination of a democracy and a monarchy, with a council of six elected citizens being presided over by the king as a seventh member. This way, the people have a government that actually represents them, while they don't lose their monarchical heritage! That's actually probably the best solution that could have possibly been reached, and I applaud these two for having agreed on such an elegant solution.

Oh, Maximillian, so stuck in your old ways. Honestly, though, all things considered, I actually do not think he's a bad person. He's stuck in rigid tradition, but it was something he was indoctrinated into his whole life, and it's not surprising he'd be so resistant to change, especially after everything he's been through in his life. Remember, this guy can't be older than his mid-forties - it's not like he's some old and wizened ruler who has had time to process his life's experiences, he's barely halfway through an ordinary person's life span! That's a lot to deal with in a short amount of time. Outside, Sonic, Tails, and Sally watch the election take place, and Sonic asks Sally why she didn't run for a spot on the council, to which she slyly replies that it's likely for the same reason that Sonic didn't. I presume that means that she wants to have free time to herself to help lead the Freedom Fighters and not continue to be stuck at home, but we don't get a lot of time to think about that, because out of goddamn nowhere, Dimitri shows up in his little head-bubble and scares the living hell out of all three of the heroes, asking after Knuckles and warning them that Enerjak has returned…

[segersgia]

Looking back: Part 3 - Craftworld Aeldari

The Psychic Awakening event was kind of a disappointment. Nothing really major happened within these books and the focus of most of them involved stories about Space Marines. The Xenos factions got it very bad in most of these books, but none as bad as all of the Aeldari.

I feel so sorry for what Aeldari players have to deal with in the hobby. Most of your range is either still in finecast or in metal, and you haven’t had a major model release in about 8 years. The entire Craftworld range definitely needs an update.

I must be honest; I don’t care that much about the Aeldari. I’ve never been particularly interested in elven races, save those that go full ahead with the nature aspect. This is why I prefer the Wood Elves and Exodites, over races like the High Elves or the Lumineth Realmlords. 

So I will put a disclaimer on this post; Aeldari lore is not my strong suit. In fact, I find it sometimes quite confusing. I might make mistakes or misinterpret the lore of these units. I hereby apologize for this. 

Let’s begin...

Spiritseer:

Aeldari Spiritseers are Warlocks specialized in the preservation and care of Aeldari souls. They are the ones that guide Aeldari spirits inside of Wraith Constructs. In some way, you could call them a form of necromancer.

They walk the “Path of the Seer”; one of the most dangerous Paths for the Aeldari to walk. On this path, they develop their psychic abilities and learn how to control them. They’ve also (if I’m correct about this at least) previously walked the “Path of the Warrior”, which gave them the necessary experience to control their impulses and emotions.  

This Spiritseer got released alongside the Wake the Dead box-set, which pitted the Spiritseer Qelnaris and the forces of Saim-Hann, against the Ultramarines. I can’t find what the conclusion of this battle was, but guessing from the way that the Eldar have been treated this edition, I would say they probably got stomped by the Ultramarines.

Normally, this Spiritseer is not something specifically to write home about, as he looks as you would expect a Spiritseer to look like. However, looking back upon their older model, I can see that this new version is quite an improvement. The pose is way better and the proportions seem to have been fixed in this version. 

My favourite thing about this model is the mask. I love when Eldar in any form look otherworldly and alien, and these domed masks work perfectly for that. 

8/10

Howling Banshees:

Howling Banshees are a form of Aspect Warrior; Aeldari who walk the “Path of the Warrior”. As an Aspect Warrior, the Howling Banshees embody a certain aspect of Khaine, the God of Murder. Specifically, the aspect of aggressive close quarters combat.

As the name would imply, their Aspect is inspired by the mythical Banshees, who, with their wails and cries, heralded doom and death.  

They go into battle carrying Shuriken Pistols and Power Weapons (mostly swords), and they certainly know how to use them. Howling Banshees are freakishly fast and precise, but what makes them unique is their Sonic weaponry. The mask they wear is called a Banshee Mask, and it amplifies their war-cries into some sort of psychic screech. Those that hear this become disoriented and paralyzed because their nervous system can’t handle this amount of psychic energy. 

The Howling Banshees are what I think of first when someone mentions Eldar. It would only be fair that they became the first Aspect to be updated. From what I see, it doesn’t disappoint so far. They remain faithful to the source material and the poses are overall better compared to their predecessors. They also have a more decent proportioned waste now. 

The inclusion I most of all like is the separate Aspect Relic, and I believe it is an effigy depicting Morai-Heg, The Crone Godess. The website encourages you for using it as an objective marker. I love it when the designers give us these little extra’s that can be used as set pieces. I hope every new Aspect Warrior gets a symbol like this in the future. 

9/10

Howling Banshee Exarch:

Exarchs are Aspect Warriors who specifically have become lost and trapped within the “Path of the Warrior” and become the High Priests/Guardians over their specified Aspect Shrine. Think of them as teachers who train their squad in the way of their Aspect.

Their armour is more ornate than the rest of their squad and they’ve forgone their Shuriken Pistol in favour of going fully melee focused. They then can carry either two Mirror-Swords, an Executioner Power-Glaive or, they can mimic their Phoenix Lord and carry a Triskele (the three pointed boomerang-thingie). Their overall skill- and power-level is way above that of anyone, probably capable of dueling the best warriors that the Imperium could throw at them (if GW wouldn’t be so biased in their campaign books).

The Exarch kit contains a seperate head that doesn’t wear the mask. This apparently is an Ynnari Exarch, who walks a way different path than that of the Craftworld Eldar. I can’t find much information about this, but it is at least interesting that the Ynnari don’t need to wear their War-masks.

I’ve seen discussions and complaints about the way that the maskless face looks and let’s just say a few things.

Men can become Howling Banshees, though will still wear the same type of Aspect Armour (which includes the breast plate).

Women don’t need to look feminine when they are actively at war, and it doesn’t make them any less feminine.

If the Mechanicus can have non-binary members, then the Aeldari most certainly can have them as well. 

These are technically part of the Howling Banshee kit, so the same points can be applied to these two. I do think that the Glaive looks way better on this model than the Mirror-swords. The Exarch looks a little “out-of-balance” when dual wielding. I did wish though that they got some more weapon options. The Triskele isn’t in the kit, and I also saw a concept piece for an Eldar Power-Axe, which the Aeldari just deserve to have in their arsenal. Give Howling Banshees Power Axes. That would look so cool.

8/10

Jain Zar:

Phoenix Lords are by far some of the most ancient and powerful members of the Aeldari race. They were former Exarchs who have fought for so long, that they don’t have an Aspect Shrine or Craftworld left to protect. Instead, they wander from Craftworld to Craftworld and arrive to fight alongside their kin when the need arises the most. 

Whenever a Phoenix lord falls in battle, their soul is transported inside of the spirit stone of the suit. Then, another Eldar warrior will don the suit and become possessed by the original Phoenix lord. Most Phoenix lord armour contains the souls of dozens of Eldar, all who’ve sacrificed their lives in order to resurrect their respective Phoenix Lord.

Jain Zar is of course the Phoenix Lord of the Howling Banshees. In fact, she is the founder of her Aspect and according to legend, became the first Exarch. This makes her the second Phoenix Lord to come into existence, with the first being Asurmen. She is considered one of the most active Phoenix Lords to roam the galaxy and has an active hatred for Chaos. After the rise of the Ynnari, she became one of the biggest advocates of their cause.

Jain Zar carries the Jainas Mor and Zhai Morenn. The Jainas Mor is the Three bladed Triskele, which is “Sharper than any mortal blade”. The Zhai Morenn is her Power-Glaive, and it is a relic from before the Fall of the Eldar. Her Banshee Mask was the first of its kind and every Banshee mask that has followed is a copy of hers.

During the Psychic Awakening, Jain Zar protected Yvraine from Drazhar and pursued him. This proved fatal and got her sliced in two.  A new Exarch donned the armour and Jain Zar was reborn. She then got a rematch with Drazhar and became victorious. Eventually the infamous battle of Iathglas happened, where she, together with Yvraine and the Visarch barely managed to defeat a HOLOGRAM?!? of Shalaxi Hellbane. (goddamnit Geedubs).

Jain Zar’s new model is such an improvement over her older one that I am excited to see what any of the other Phoenix Lords might look like in the future. I love her proportions, her pose, her appearance... everything is so good. I’m not even bothered by the hair and I don’t care that it is too long or impractical in combat. 

One thing I would’ve preferred though is that they would’ve kept her original paint scheme. I prefer the black/red paint scheme over the white/red one. I get why they changed it, because it fits better with the scheme of her Aspect.

10/10

--------

While the Craftworlds didn’t get much this edition, what they did get has been very good. I’m excited for what may come in the future for the Aeldari.

Games Workshop. Could you just make more Eldar models? People have been begging you to update them for over a decade now. Listen to them. Most of the Aeldari range is still finecast or metal. 

Next up: Primaris Vanguard Infantry

previous posts: Primaris Mainline Infantry, Death Guard Infantry

[sage-nebula]

Game Review — Paper Mario: The Origami King

It’s not a secret that I’m not a huge fan of Mario. Though I’ve played various Mario games almost since I first started playing video games in general (though never with dedication, and my first actual video game was the very first Sonic the Hedgehog), for me Mario games have always been okay, or decent, but not something I’d play at length aside from spin-offs like Mario Kart or Party. The exceptions were 64 and Odyssey, and the only one of those I actually liked and didn’t play just because I was bored out of my skull was 64. Needless to say, I tend to keep scrolling when I see an announcement dedicated to Mario.

Nonetheless, the newest Mario—or rather, Paper Mario—piqued my interest.

Overall Score: 8/10

I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this game. It wasn’t one that I was dying to get back to every single day, but it was one that I enjoyed playing every day that I did play it nonetheless, and I was actually a little sad when it ended and almost went for 100% completion just to keep playing it. I didn’t end up doing that (though maybe I’ll go back at some point, who knows), but I did enjoy what time I had with it nonetheless. More details beneath the cut, better viewed on my blog due to ugly dash formatting.

The Pros:

The dialogue was probably the most enjoyable part to me. Everything was coated with a glib tone that made it clear the writers weren’t taking this too seriously, which is precisely what Mario games need. Games like Odyssey that clearly take themselves seriously (or at least more seriously than not) tend to fall flat to me. Mario is a bright, colorful fantasy series that is at its best when it’s clearly having fun and being silly, and that’s what the dialogue in this game was. Even the unnamed NPCs had personality and were fun to talk to, to the point where I didn’t even mind rescuing Toads the same way I did Koroks in my favorite game of all time, Breath of the Wild. I even outright laughed at points, such as when some Goombas said they had to “take the L” because they were saved by Mario. The dialogue really enhanced the whole experience.

To that end, the characters themselves were pretty great. I LOVE Olivia, and did pretty much right from the start, but I was surprised at how even characters that I felt were annoying at first wormed their way into my heart (BOBBY). While not all of the partners were memorable (looking at you, Toad partners), there were more memorable ones than not, and while the characterization wasn’t super deep, this is a Mario game. They don’t need to be super deep. They were good for what they were.

I really love the Paper Mario art style and how much work goes into showing how much of the world is just that—paper. I also love bright colors in games, so of course that was a plus as well. On top of which, each of the different areas had a distinct style, so the world didn’t ever feel same-y at any point, which was another plus in its favor.

Some of the music was really good! I’d even venture to say that most of it was. Again, it’s not something I’d necessarily buy an OST of, but there were some definite bops that I enjoyed while playing, which is another departure from other Mario games (such as Odyssey) that I didn’t enjoy nearly as much.

The Neutrals:

The story was . . . okay. That’s the best way to put it. There wasn’t that much to it and it didn’t make too much sense (in that Olly’s villainous motivations weren’t really convincing), but it’s a Mario game so, again, I’m not exactly looking for narrative excellence here. It created a reason for Mario to go on an adventure with Olivia, and that was enough for me. I enjoyed it in that respect. That said, I will say that I enjoyed it less when the game didn’t give enough time to its emotional beats, which is particularly noticeable when the characters move on pretty quickly after a character death and barely ever speak of it again. Again, it’s a Mario game and so I wasn’t too bothered, but it still stuck out, particularly since the characters were one of the game’s strong points.

The office supplies bosses sure were something. Honestly I’m putting them here because I don’t entirely know how to feel about them. On the one hand, they had interesting and fun characterizations, and the boss fights weren’t that bad insofar as how fights in this game typically are (more on that later), Rubber Band aside. On the other, it’s never explained why these are 3D objects that aren’t made out of paper, or why they’ve decided to serve Olly instead of just, I don’t know, destroying him as well, or where they even came from. And like, it’s a Mario game, it doesn’t need to be that deep, but it’s also kind of hard not to think about. That said, props to the game devs for making the fights against them creative even when the “designs” of the bosses really were not. That did impress me.

The Cons:

BREAKABLE. WEAPONS. I—okay, I get the idea of breakable weapons in Breath of the Wild because there are so many weapons everywhere and making it so that you can fight with literally anything (or almost anything) enhances the experience. Finding a rusted sword on a battlefield from a century ago and fighting with it will help you in a pinch, but it won’t last long. That makes sense. I can also understand (even if I hate and do not agree with) tools breaking in Animal Crossing: New Horizons because they wanted to put emphasis on the DIY crafting mechanic of the game. But there is NO EXCUSE for weapons breaking in Paper Mario. NONE. You can’t craft them. They’re not littering the ground. It’s just arbitrary . . . I don’t even want to say difficulty, because it’s not hard given that you can change weapons mid-battle. It’s arbitrary annoyance. Nintendo is really stuck on this whole “weapons breaking” shtick and I do not like it at all.

To that end, honestly I didn’t enjoy the puzzle aspects of the battle system at all, either. Sometimes it wasn’t so bad, but the thing is, visual pattern recognition / puzzles like that aren’t my strong suit. Put with a timer, and it’s even worse. You can extend the time by paying coins, but the added pressure still got to me and made me even worse at solving the puzzles than I would have been otherwise. Couple this with the fact that it got really repetitive and boring after a while, and I just wasn’t a fan.

I won’t go into spoilers, but the ending felt kind of contrived to me, like a Diabolos Ex Machina. The relationship between Olly and Olivia is one that was made really weird due to a plot twist that didn’t need to be there, and using said twist as a reason for a character death at the end feels like cheap drama for no reason (/an excuse to never see that character again), particularly since it easily could have been worded differently so that the death didn’t happen at all. 

All in all, though, I really did enjoy it and would be interested in future Paper Mario games. If they ever decide to give us a Virtual Console on Switch (unrealistic at this point, I know), I’d like to see the older Paper Mario games put on there so I could play those, too. (Yes, I know I could either bust out old consoles and/or pirate them, but honestly, I’m not dedicated enough for either of those things.) The Nintendo of America twitter did a poll a little while ago asking which Mario people liked best, and I was said that Paper was not one of the options, because at this point, Paper Mario is definitely my favorite Mario.

[mexicanbabe1997]

Maria the mouse

Name: Maria The Mouse (Full name: Maria Antonella Gomez Raffaelli) Age: 17-19 Gender: Feminine Date of Birth: March 31 Sign (horoscope): Aries Height: Undefined Weight: Unknown Type of blood: +B Hair Color: Ocre Eye Color: Green

*FAVORITES*:

Food: Muffins, chocolate, pizza, and pancakes. 

Sport: Swimming

Flower: Gardenia

Music: Rock n’ Roll and Pop (classics from 60’s to 90’s) Color: Blue (mainly the aqua/teal colors), pink, and green.

Hobbies: Singing, drawing, listening to music, eating, resting, reading, writting, exploring new places, swimming, collecting cute stuff, playing video games, brushing her hair, snorkeling, daydreaming, being small, making bead bracelets, skating (she’s an amateur), foiling bad guys, practicing the violin, taking strolls, posing in the mirror, playing dress up, and dancing (she’s taking lessons cuz she’s not that good). 

Likes: Music, hot chocolate, books and mangas, pastries, adventures, freedom, tranquility, having friends and family, flowers, animals, Damien, her sister (Dana), shabby chic style, art, perfumes, bubble baths, video games, city lights, comedy-romantic movies, justice, Sonic, Tails, having fun, cute boys, romance, fantasy stories, helping people, bravery, magic (she believes in it), rainy days, brownies, hide and seek (in mouse size), roller coasters, tomboy girls (she admires them), travels, ocean, the beach, aquariums, tours, ballet (when she was little), comfy socks, and cute shiny things. 

Subject: Calligraphy, art and music

*LESS FAVORITES*:

Food: Gherkins, soda, and coffee

Sport: American football Music: Reggaeton

Color: Lilac Dislikes: Mean people, backstabbers, blood (she suffers from hemophobia), being confused for a rat, horror-gore movies, injuries, darkness, algebra books (They always make her fall asleep), disrespect, bullies, snobbishness, braggarts, know-it-alls (but she can make some exceptions, like Tails for example), leeches, balls (she always gets hitted in the face), people messing with her friends, Dana acting overbearing, her hair getting ruined, people fearing her for being a mouse, being taken pictures, being called a “weakling”, not having a family, suffering, injustice, Eggman’s evil plans, cheaters, harassment, cowards, stealing, manipulators, being insulted, getting kidnapped, cold weather, storms, animal abuse, feeling left out, not having friends, getting lost, exterminators, mouse traps, bees (she had a bad experience with one), rice pudding, getting pranked, shallowness, letting people down, and when people say that rodents are nothing but “pests”. 

Subject: Mathematics and physics.

*PERSONAL INFO*:

Personality: She’s a cheerful although very shy girl, curious, kind-hearted, tender, headstrong, and energetic. Despite being shy with those she doesn’t know well (especially boys), she is honest, feisty, passionate, sweet, caring, respectful, and friendly. She tends to be rather clumsy sometimes and can get innocent to the point of being somewhat clueless, but don’t let that fool you cuz she isn’t stupid. However, she also has a very bad temper and is very impatient and stubborn, she can also get sassy or capricious and sometimes throws tantrums when things don’t go her way. She also has a grudgy side, and can become insensible, harsh, unforgiving, and cold if you hurt her feelings a lot or if she feels betrayed. Despites those flaws, she also has a huge heart, is fun loving, sensible, very femenine and never forgets her manners when saying “thank you”, she enjoys the outdoors and likes the flora and fauna as much as her hair, and knows when to apoligize if she really messed up at something. When facing dangerous situations she can act and be pretty serious, tough, brave, tomboyish, and determinated whenever the situation requires it, and always refuses to give up on a friend in danger. She finds family as the most important thing to her as well as her friends and will go to any lenghts to protect them. She’s also either amorous or a hopeless romantic, gaining many crushes on cute guys who get her attention, though she always ends up getting single at the end, but that dosen’t stop her from believing in love and having a good future.

History: She was the youngest member on her family, having two parents and an older sister named Dana. She lived in a sheltered yet comfortable lifestyle, she was dearly loved and cared by her parents and sister, she had a beautiful house and lots of toys to play with. However, she was far from being social, and rather then playing with other kids she prefered to stay at home and either play with her toys, watching tv, drawing, or reading books. She was a very calm yet withdrawn girl, unable to speak with other people or kids. The other kids always thought that she was a snob for the way she acted and often tried to prevent being around her, others also said that she was odd. Both her parents loved her and she also loved them back, she also liked and admired her older sister so much because she always protected her. One day she was sent along with her older sister to visit her grandmother out of town, at a luxurious villa. Maria was a bit sad for leaving her parents but they promised that it would be only for a week. But then weeks passed and the two sisters didn’t heard anything from their parents. Dana knew something was wrong so she went to investigate but never returned. Maria was depressed for sometime but with some help from her relatives she was finally able to move on and live happily, though deep inside she still felt depressed for not having her parents nor her sister with her.

Powers and abilities: Electrokinesis, good sense of smell and hearing (when concentrated enough), can shrink to the size of a real life mouse and go back in size at will, manipulation and control of machines and electronics, speed, excellent swimmer, good stealth when being small, can climb the walls thanks to static, magnetism and can magnetize any metalic objects, create thunderstorms, Railgun anime-like ability to shoot nuts and bolts like a powerful laser cannon, using her powers she can create weapons out of the metal and minerals of the floor, summoning thunders, create plasma, and can also shrink other people and back to their original size as well.

Weaknesses: Magnets can block her powers and in magnetic fields she is stripped of them. When she suffers from fever her powers are uncontrollable, she becomes overcharged and makes electronics go high wire. Whenever a lightning falls on her, her powers dissapear for at least a week. Since she’s innocent this also gives her a naive streak, as she can get pranked or fooled easily by Phoebe. Since she isn’t an animal of artic weather, this makes her untolerable to cold, and when in extreme freezing temperatures she can get mortally weak or faint due to losing heat. When small she is prone to be highly vulnerable to many things (extreme cold or hot temperatures, hits, falls, or poison), she also has to restrain eating chocolate unless necessary, cuz it grows her back to her normal size which can become troublesome sometimes. Instrument: Violin Romantic Interests: Damien, Blasco, Fido, Sonic and Shadow.  

Best Friends: Phoebe, Irving, Damien, Nova, Serah, Dana, Sonic, Tails, Fido, Clarissa, Cat-O, Lisa, The barker gang, Blasco, Thomas, Jake, Chase, Indigo, and the Freedom Fighters.

Enemies: Dr. Eggman, Pearl, Crystal Maria, Dr. M, Fallz, Voidless, Edna, Amadeus, Dimensi, Evan, and other bad guys. Paraphernalia: A photo of her parents (her only clue to find them), a comb, and her cellphone. Hometown : Twilight city (formerly)

Family: Silvana (Mother), Salvatore (Father), Dana (Older sister), Stella (Maternal aunt), Rupert (Maternal uncle), and Maternal Grandmother.

Dream: To find her family.

*INTERESTING FACTS (TRIVIA)*:

* Maria’s voice (English): https://youtu.be/b3DaGbMBgAY

* Her characteristics and personality somewhat reseamble that of a “Majo-Shojo” (Magical Girl). Also many of her features are mainly inspired by some of them, like Serena/Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon, Sakura Kinomoto from Sakura Card Captor, Momoko/Blossom (Demashita! Powerpuff girls Z), and Doremi Harukaze from Ojamajo Doremi. 

* She’s a very good singer but at first she keeps it to herself due to stage fright. However, she slowly started to get over it and her voice is now recognized by many people.

* Though she likes to be a femenine girl, she also dosen’t mind and is not afraid to do tomboyish stuff either, like climbing trees, playing in the dirt, and doing other kinds of sports (some of which she isn’t very good at, especially when it involves a ball). * She’s extremelly bad at math or anything academical that is related to it. She’s also terrible with computers and dosen’t seem to understand them to that much of an extent then Tails. * She has bad luck with balls, in sports she always get hited in the face, to the point where Phoebe mockingly stated to her that her face was a “Ball magnet”. * Phoebe calls her a “Goofy rat” and Maria in return calls her a “Ruffian princess”. * Her favourite number is 3. * Maria shrinks herself whenever she wants to do things like hidding, eating things in a more bigger perspective, surprising people, helping out, going on adventures and wearing the cute dolls clothes. * When she gets either dizzy or drunk, she has one ear up and the other one is down. * Whenever she goes into a battle, she always takes off her headband to show how serious she is and when it’s over she puts it back. * Maria is a DD bra size. * Her favourite gemstone is the aquamarine. * If her hair gets either cut or burned by someone, Maria goes violent mode and gives a great beatdown to whoever did it. * She is actually very witty when it comes to saving the day, can be sarcastic and is not dumb at all. * She’s allergic to peanuts. * In one of her pockets she always carries around a comb and a compact mirror, while in the other she has the picture of her parents and a cellphone. She also has inner pockets where she stores some coins she finds. * Maria loves animals and can sometimes be found either playing with them or giving them food. She has also went out of her way to rescue them from Eggman. * She uses her own hoodie as a home; she simply takes it off and puts it into place, then she just shrinks and goes in it. She also created her very own bed with some cottons for pillows, a sponge for mattress and a cutted sock for sheet. * Maria and Phoebe’s relationship reminiscence to the one of Serena/Usagi and Rini/Chibiusa from Sailor Moon. * Although Maria is very kind and whatnot, she has several issues when trying to express her feelings openly to the people. She can even be reserved sometimes, including with her close friends, because she feel it is rather complicated to talk to people or she simply dosen’t want to make any squabbles. But the truth is that she dosen’t know how to do it well, since she was not that sociable in her childhood. But she always defends what she believes in, is emotional and is not afraid to spill what she thinks when she feels brave enough or when the situation requires it. * Maria once went to ballet when she was 4 years old, but eventually quited doing it. * She can speak spanish, but just a bit and can say phrases like: “Hola” (Hello), “Amigo, Amiga” (boyfriend or girlfriend) , “Adiós” (Goodbye), “Lo siento” (I’m sorry) and “Gracias” (Thank you). * She always wanted to meet a magical creature. * Maria’s real dream is to have a real home, having someone to love and that loves her back and a family who loves and cares for her in order to have a happy life.