#but also I just finished the runaways revisions so I should have more time this month hopefully

[ettawritesnstudies]

IE your 'what would i pay for poll'. I would pay around $3 monthly feasiblhy but honestly I would be more invested in doing that if you were a bigger presenc3e on here again, over if you had anhy fun treats for subscribers. mostly i just miss seeing you alkl over my dash! i like to support the people who are big involved in the comunity or who post a bunch of fun snippets or moodboards or character rambles. and i dont see that from you very often!

Hey Anon!! That is SO FAIR and honestly I wish I were a bigger presence here too, and one of my concerns about offering memberships is that creating all the ~*exclusive*~ content will take away my time from shitposting and playing tag games and just generally hanging out. The more I'm splitting my energy between several platforms the more my "presence" on each platform will suffer if that makes sense and I miss the days when I only had tumblr and I could just ramble about whatever.

That being said there are a couple reasons why I've changed my approach so I hope you understand where I'm coming from

I'm on Draft 5 of the same book I've been working on for like 3ish years now and if I shared the same snippets for every "find the word" tag I think people would be sick to death of it by now

I'm on Draft 5 of the book I'm planning to publish and if I share too many excerpts of the in-between drafts, those things are both A) subject to change, B) probably spoilers and I want to be very very picky about the excerpts I choose to share from now on

Tumblr (and instagram, and tiktok, and other social media sites) regularly get nuked by the companies that own them so I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket which is why I've doubled down on my website.

I'll share more moodboards and fun snippets and stuff soon! But they'll be in the promotional/marketing vein probably because if I'm going to spend time making that stuff it's going to be multitasking

You raise a really good point. I'd love to be more involved here, and I'll try to set more reminders for things like WBW and STS. That being said, I've been trying to support the writing community through other ways like ARC reviews and interviews!!! I put so so so much work into these every month and they do fine in general, but for some reason they don't get any traction on tumblr. Not for my lack of trying, but I don't know? Nobody wants to reblog a link to a youtube video I guess? It's discouraging because just because it looks different than the old traditional games and things doesn't mean it's not still contributing something to the community - a way to find new authors and promote your newly published books - that's largely going unnoticed and unappreciated.

If you want me to reblog snippets and moodboards for the love of god please send me stuff my queue is empty! I love seeing what people have going on but I'm also following well over 1000 people so sometimes stuff gets lost.

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight: Coffeegleek Day 1

Author : @coffeegleek​ 

How did you get into Glee and Glee fandom?

I saw the premier when it aired during the summer and was hooked. Having been burned by a fandom shortly before that, I tried to resist joining Glee fandom. Then about halfway through Glee airing routinely, I could resist no longer. I needed more. I needed the interaction with other fans that weren't immediate family. (Hub and son love the show, but were watchers and not into fandom.)

In general, what drew you into writing (and/or creating)?

I'd written for other fandoms before as well as a lot of original poetry and science fiction. One day I finally caved and co-wrote two crack Klaine fics. About a year or two later, I wrote more crack fics that got no traction on tumblr so I stopped writing for a long time. (I was and still am a small fish in a large fandom pond, though that pond has shrunk now that the show is long over.) Then a couple of years ago, my son left for university and I couldn't shake this one small fic idea I had about Burt and Carole as empty nesters. I had to get it out and it exploded into this huge verse. In-between those fics I wrote more crack fics.

What was it about Glee that made you decide to write fanfic for it?

Part of it was Kurt and Blaine being wonderful characters. Part of it was the joy of challenging myself as a writer be it serious stuff or Klaine advent challenges which are fun. Yet another part was to write fics I wanted to read or tropes I wanted to explore more.

Have you been a part of other fandoms before? Have you written fanfiction pre-glee?

Oh, yes! Many fandoms and many fics on many accounts I've long lost user names and passwords to. Out there on FFN is a Buffy/Farscape crossover and a couple of Pretender fanfics. Those are just three of the many fandoms I've been in. I met my spouse through Star Trek fandom and was involved in (and left) the very toxic Fox fandom board for the Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles fandom. (My fandom before Glee.)

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

AU is my crack and I love political Klaine be it Kurt and/or Blaine in politics or as President. I love the ones where Burt is president. Despite being a huge West Wing fan who's rewatched the series multiple times, I don't think I could do a Glee characters in that verse justice. I really wish I could though. Before the pandemic hit, a friend and I were going to do a Blast from the Past movie challenge where folks would write their favorite 1980's and 90's movies with Glee characters. I was all set to write Running on Empty and still have my notes for it.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

A few. Certain kinks and especially those that involve fluids, marking, and mpreg. 

Another nope - Large age differences in a consenting relationship. To clarify with a personal experience of why it’s a huge no: There was a guy in my family’s social group who was in his late 60’s/early 70’s who would brag to hub and I (for some reason) about his conquestions with barely legal guys. The things he would say about even younger guys were creepy AF. My out gay son was nearing his preferred age and we (and son) kept Creepy Guy far away from him. No one believed us when we tried to tell them about him. So any kind of huge age gap is a big nope for me unless it’s written as a “this is wrong and not appropriate” because I can’t help but think of the guy everyone else had labeled as But He’s Such a Nice Guy. I’m not criticizing the authors or readers of consensual, everything is happy, large age gap fics. They’re just not for me and I accept my bias. 

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

I want to finish writing/expanding a fic for my Empty Nest verse that takes place between A Nest of Scars and Empty Nest. I also have a few one shots between Kurt and Carole and Kurt and Burt that I keep writing in my head while cooking, but never getting them onto a google doc. I want to finish last year's Klaine Advent challenge fic entitled, A Very Weird Christmas Adventure. I was so close to being done and had it all figured out too. I'd also like to write the Running on Empty crossover fic. I love that movie so much. I'd love to tackle a Handmaid's Tale crossover, but haven't worked out enough of the logistics for it.

***

Check out Coffeegleek’s Fics

Empty Nest - Revised - Empty Nest started off as just this little thing I was going to write. The idea had been kicking around in my head for a year. There's a stray cat that's taken shelter under our front porch for years & runs whenever he sees us. When my son went off to university, I started thinking about what if the cat was really homeless, hybrid Kurt? And in October of 2017, I finally started to write what was going to be a ficlette & nothing more. It's now late January 2018 & the verse has grown to two fics, a series of Klaine Advent one shots, 98,442 words, & is still going.

When I reached chapter 12 of Rebuilding the Nest, I felt the time had finally come for me to revise the verse, especially Empty Nest, correct any errors I'd missed before, & clean up the time line inconsistencies. When I first started writing, I had no clear cut idea of how hybrids had come about or what they were like. I was just going with the usual trope flow. As chapters went on, I fell more & more back on my science fiction writing roots & established them as a single evolved race. That was my biggest change to Empty Nest & reason for the revision.

I hope you enjoy it.

Rebuilding the Nest -  Sequel to Empty Nest and takes place immediately after. Kurt is a runaway, homeless feline hybrid. Burt and Carole are empty nesters who see him sleeping under their porch. During the months that follow, Kurt slowly learns to trust them. Unlocking the door to the Hummel's enclosed back porch was a huge step. There were so many more left to go.

Burt's Nest -  This is a retelling of Empty Nest and Rebuilding the Nest from Burt’s POV. While it does stand alone, in order to fully understand Kurt’s actions and experiences, the original fics should be read first. In short: Burt discovers a homeless hybrid teenager sleeping under his front porch and takes him in. This fic let me get out all my parenting and love of Burt and Carole feels. If you notice a blatant take on the racism and homophobia pervading the U.S. in this dystopian verse, then I’ve done my job expressing part of the bag of emotions I feel as the parent of gay, POC, young adult son. The same trigger warnings for the previous fics apply here as well, though not all chapters have them. Please see the tags.

[multiverseofmiracleshq]

Okay, okay, okay. I said weekly update last night which was code for weekly update today. Whoops. Since it’s already late let’s not waste ( any more ) time and get right to it: 

i.) TIME HOP TIME !! In our canon we’ll be covering five years between the events of infinity war and avengers four. The event started a year into the event, and as of last night we are now in year two post cleanse. That makes the date in our group OCTOBER 19TH, 2020.

ii.) As a follow up to that, we ask that members submit blurbs of their characters whereabouts. We asked for this last time as well, but we’ll actually post them for this year. It won’t be long. Just a little ‘what’s happened since the snap / the last year’ piece so everyone can be on the same page. A character questionnaire will also be released. If you’ve seen the likes of it before, don’t be surprised.

iii.) We will be keeping the gifted canon. It’s a little hard since we’re two years ahead of the show, but post event the canon will stick along with Daredevil, Runaways and Cloak and Dagger. Bios will be reflective of the show and not the event in the meanwhile so the blurbs will be where you can see what’s happening. 

iv.) Before we could announce if Venom was part of our canon we had to watch the movie as the Sony!verse movies usually aren’t, but after seeing it we can officially say that Venom is included in our canon / plot. The main will have spoilers for the film but for now they are limited to the character masterlist exclusively.

v.) Speaking of which, our character masterlist is bursting with new faces and characters that we have now made playable. There is also !! spoilers !! though so be warned. If you want to be brave take a sneak peek and check it out!

vi.) The teams are being switched around a bit. The character masterlist is reflective of that but within the next week we’re hoping to release a revised list of who falls where, so stay tuned for that.

vii.) I don’t want to speak too definitively, but we are hoping to get a calendar out so everyone can prepare for time hops in advance. We’ll also be announcing if there will be a halloween party ic event and when that would be in the near future.

viii.) Activity !! We’re willing to work with you, so please let us know if you need a hiatus. Not posting for an extended period of time and then coming on to make one post does not count as activity. We’re being a little more lenient with the soul stone characters as they have less to do. Should activity fizzle out there, we may cut the soul stone all together. We’ll get back to you if that becomes the case.

ix.) This is at the bottom but it’s IMPORTANT STUFF. The main will be having a url change TONIGHT so don’t get scared if you can’t find us. We’re still here and will put a redirect page on infinitemiracles, which may come back one day. Don’t count it out. You’ll have to see what it is tonight.

Like always, I swear I’m missing something. Pardon the pixie dust on the main as we finish up fixing things. Give the heart at the bottom of this a tap to show you read it. Until next time, lovelies.

[loopy777]

How is Act IV for Traitor's Face coming along? Hopefully well? I'm a big fan of the story and am very excited to see how it ends. Good luck! -C_B

Well enough. The planning was finished quickly (or as finished as it ever gets before I breathe life into it, so I’ll probably change the order of things massively just before I write the finale XD) but the writing required more rewriting than I usually do (I picked the completely wrong POV for one scene, for example). Still, things are definitely moving.

I’ve decided to aim for Late Spring as my release date, thanks to some busy weekends and some family obligations. By then my pace should be restored and I’ll have a small buffer of chapters.

Thanks for the interest! I’m dedicated to finishing this monster, but it’s good to know that people care. :)

...

So, hey, want a teaser? Here’s the opening to the next chapter. Keep in mind that this is still up for revisions.

Nightmares

"I do hope you'll pardon the intrusion," says the giant bug with the Noh-mask for a face. The voice echoes through reality itself.

Mai gives a noncommittal grunt to cover the tempest within.

She has never had the slightest fondness for insects, and certainly does not enjoy the sight of such a massive one clicking and curling around her little spot in the dark cave. Her first instinct is to lash out with her weapons, to put on the indifferent lack of expression that is her battle-face and start putting sharp bits of metal where they'd do the most harm. But the bug is speaking politely, and the firmness of Mother's hand had conditioned Mai to respond to politeness.

"Perhaps you could tell me where we are?" She know she looks the same exchanging greetings as she does shedding blood, so there's nothing to prevent her from making the transition at any moment. "And why you are calling on me?"

The creature smiles at her as it arcs to bring its white face even with her own. "Our location is a matter of some ambiguity; there is no firm border between the Spirit World and dreams." The face drifts only a bit as it talks, despite the body climbing the cave walls until it is hanging from above. The whole time, the face never stops staring at her. "As for why I'm here, I suppose we can call it professional interest, but the truth is that I also had a desire to meet you. I've heard so much about you and the Avatar, and you seem so different from the kind of company he normally keeps."

Mai wonders if she is being insulted. "In what way?"

"Well, most importantly, none of the others have been able to converse with me even this long." Then the bug-flesh around its face blinks like an eye, and now its face is that of a Water Tribe woman. Her hair is swept through the air as though by a breeze. "You are indeed a precious little girl."

Mai cannot feel any breeze. "Am I supposed to find that flattering?"

She recognizes the bug's action as a threat of some kind, although she does not understand the exact danger. Perhaps she should attack, put a blade somewhere around the face. She reaches into her sleeve for a knife-

-and discovers that the sleeve itself is made of knives.

She hadn't realized it until now, but the entirety of her clothes are interlocking blades - razors and carvers and needles and broad flat stabbers - that ripple and shift like cloth. Only the darkness of this cave keeps her from shining. Only her natural stiffness prevents her from slicing all her skin off with a casual movement.

Mai sinks deeper into stillness. She could be a statue. Mother would be so proud.

The bug laughs, skittering along the ceiling so that it circles her as it faces her. At the edge of her vision, there is another blinking shift, but it moves out of sight before she can see the new face. "How far does your confidence extend, I wonder? Can you hide your feelings for the fall of your nation? Can you hold back a smile while your Avatar seeks your pleasure? Do you refuse to shed tears, in the loneliest stretch of the night, when you remember that you've betrayed everyone and everything which ever cared for you?"

The bug's face moves back into sight, having circled around her, and now it speaks with the visage of a blue dragon. The snout extends almost to brush Mai's nose, and the hairs on its chin undulate like the sea.

Her gown of knives is cold against her skin. "I don't see how any of that is your business."

"Oh, but it is. Traitors are what I do, you see. An Avatar who betrays his duty. A soldier who deserts her nation. A bird that pushes its eggs out of its nest. Even a warrior who purposefully chips away at the pride of his Tribe for a laugh. I am an answer to those things. Not necessarily a good answer, but sometimes I am the only answer there is." The dragon face opens its mouth wide to reveal an array of teeth that reminds Mai of her personal arsenal. "Allegiance is part of identity, the greatest gift of all. It should not be thrown away so carelessly."

"So you're just another slave to the cosmic bureaucracy?" Mai pulls her hands into her metal sleeves, and runs her fingers over sharp edges until she finds a loose razor. "You're trying too hard to be frightening for me to believe that."

The bug laughs, its face making the sound into a roar that shakes the whole world. "Well, I never said I don't enjoy it."

Mai is too practiced at hiding her disgust. She slides into it without a thought. "Then try not to have too much fun with my punishment. It would be unbecoming of such a classy bug as yourself." The razor she's been working with a finger seems looser, now. Perhaps if she can get it free, she can show this talkative insect what she enjoys about her own job-

"Now, who ever said that you're the one to be punished?" The face shifts again, now to an old woman whose hair has been shaved from the front of her head to reveal a blue arrow. "The Runaway Avatar has been making some rather drastic mistakes lately."

The razor flips free of the rest of the network, but before Mai can grab it, the net of blades starts to fall apart, every slicer and carver and needle and broad flat stabber. The cold settles even deeper into her flesh, but no, there is nothing into which it can settle- her flesh falls with the blades.

At least the metal is sharp enough that she feels no pain.

And so she is able to keep an indifferent lack of expression on her face as she dies in front of the creepy bug.

The face of the Noh mask returns, and it gives her a nod. "Well done, Lady Caldera Yu Mai. I hope we see each other soon."

The creature rushes at her-

Mai snapped awake, slapping at her sheets, her sleep-sluggish mind convinced that a giant bug was sitting on top of her. In short order, she realized she was waging a war that no one else had shown up to.

Then she saw the opulent, moonlit room around her, and remembered where she was.

What had happened.

What she had done.

She was in the mansion belong to Ty Lee's family, in the bedroom of Ty Lee's mother. The woman herself was, if she was alive, somewhere in the refugee camp that had sprung up in the Royal Plaza in response to the little war fought in the Caldera yesterday. The mansion itself was serving as an inn for Mai's friends, allies, and benign acquaintances, but she herself had been given a massive room all to herself, a rare treat.

She wondered if anyone else was jumping awake from nightmares.

But then, none of the others had just murdered enemies who had once been coworkers, with or without a good reason.

Mai laid down and tried to go back to sleep. It was a while before her pulse returned to normal.

[amazonauthorinsights-live]

Writing Insights Part Three: The Revision Process

By Hugh Howey

It is often easier to rewrite from scratch than it is to revise

Welcome to the third entry in my four-part series on writing insights. In the first part of this series, I listed the things I wish I’d known before aspiring to become a writer. The second entry was all about how to get through the rough draft. Now I’d like to discuss how to improve your rough draft to get it ready for publication.

Many of the points in this section deal with the craft of writing. You may wonder why these are brought up after a rough draft is complete. Shouldn’t you learn to write before you beginwriting? I wish it worked this way, but it doesn’t. You learn by doing, not reading about doing. Rough drafts require skills beyond the skill of writing. They are about endurance and stamina. They require willpower and force of habit. Many phenomenal writers can’t complete a rough draft and never will. This is why much of the writing advice out there is really just motivational advice to get you through that first draft. More “You can do it!” rather than “How-to.”

This is exactly as it should be. Once you know you can write a novel, you can learn through the revision process how to write a better novel.

Having said that, all of these insights are meant to be read at any time. If you haven’t written your first word, I would recommend reading this entire series before you begin. There are insights about the publication process in the next section that may influence how you structure your rough draft. And if you’re working on your tenth novel, there may be something in here that helps you see the writing process in a new light. Or you may see what’s missing from this advice and share your thoughts, which will help me and others in our writing processes. With this series, I mostly have in mind the aspirational writer, someone who is where I was ten years ago. So it assumes nothing and attempts to help anyone starting from scratch.

Before we get to the revision insights, I want to start by congratulating those of you who find yourself at this point of the writing process. It’s an amazing accomplishment. I’ll never forget the day I finished my first rough draft. I happened to be visiting my mother and sister at the time, and that night we went out for a celebratory dinner. A USB thumb drive containing a backup of my work sat on the restaurant table as we ate. I didn’t want to let that manuscript out of my sight! I still didn’t believe it. For the next week, I had to stop myself from telling perfect strangers that I’d written a novel. I also realized during this week that I had no idea what to do next. I’d worked so long and so hard to get to this point that I’d never researched the rest.

Here are the ten things I wish I’d known, sitting at that dinner table all those years ago…

Insight #21: Don’t rush to publication.

For many writers, getting the rough draft complete is the hardest part of writing a novel. It can feel like you’re done at this point, and you might want to get the project out into the wild so you can start on something new, or so you can get some feedback, or see if it’ll be the runaway bestseller that you hope it might. These impulses lead to tragic mistakes. New authors will often submit a manuscript to agents before it’s ready; or they’ll self-publish before the work is truly done.

Now is not the time to waste all the effort you’ve put into your rough draft. Now comes the fun part. The next step(s) will involve perhaps a dozen full passes through the work. Yeah, a dozen or more! Each pass will gradually smooth away rough spots and errors. It’s like taking a roughhewn hunk of lumber and turning it into a polished piece of furniture. You’ll start with heavy grit sandpaper and work your way down to wet-sanding a typo here or there.

The beauty of the revision process is that this is where you’ll learn to become a great writer, much more so than in the rough draft stage. The techniques you pick up as you shore up your story and polish your prose will carry over into the next rough draft. Because of this, the writing process will get easier and easier. The revision process will become faster and faster.

I’ve heard some writers suggest that you should step away from a rough draft for a length of time, but I never understood the usefulness of this. When I finish a rough draft, I celebrate for a day and then go right back to the beginning of the novel to start the revisions. There are a handful of main things I want to accomplish with the first pass: (1) I want to plug any missing sections (scenes or chapters I skipped). (2) I want to make the prose more readable and improve the flow between sections and chapters. (3) I want to give the characters and my world more depth and detail. (4) I want to tighten the plot, add some foreshadowing, close any logical holes.

Now is also the time to think about how you plan to publish this work, which is the area we’ll cover in the fourth and final part of this series. If your rough draft is a 300,000 word epic fantasy tome, and you want to publish this with a major publishing house, your revision process is going to involve cutting that draft up into three novels to create a trilogy. This will require some plot restructuring. One of my keenest insights that I possess now, which I didn’t appreciate when I started writing, is that how you publish will influence what and how you write.

In the next section, we’ll also discuss how insanely easy it is to publish these days, and this is why some patience is required. In the old days, you didn’t have a choice but to be patient. It could easily take several years (if at all) to bring your book to market. Now it takes a few hours. I want to convince you to take longer. At least ten revision passes before you submit to agents or self-publish. I promise you’ll be glad you took this advice.

Insight #22: It is often easier to rewrite from scratch than it is to revise.

Before we discuss revising, it’s worth pointing out the alternative: rewriting. Yes, I hear your collective groans. We just got done writing the rough draft, and now we have to start a scene or chapter from scratch?! From a blank page?! Can’t we just move a few words or sentences around and be done with it?

Usually, you can. The revision process mostly involves massaging what’s already in place. But there are times when revising actually takes a lot longer than a rewrite. Understanding when this makes sense, and being brave enough to tackle these challenging moments, is often the difference between success and failure. I’ve seen entire manuscripts abandoned and/or destroyed because of this fatal oversight.

This is especially true with the opening chapters of a manuscript, which are the most important chapters for hooking your audience, whether that audience is an agent, a reader, or a publisher. As you wrap up your rough draft and go back to the beginning, now is the time to explore rewriting as well as revising. You know your story and your characters more fully now. Your writing skills have improved through the hours and hours you’ve invested in this project. Maybe your opening feels a little stale. Or you wonder if the story shouldn’t start with a different scene or a different piece of information. You can try revising, or you can open a blank document and see what kind of opening chapter you would write now. It’s a fun exercise. You might surprise yourself.

This technique works wonders, and it works throughout your novel. You can peel off any scene or chapter or sentence and try it again from scratch. There have been times when I’ll spend hours trying to get a chapter or paragraph just right, then pound out something new in a fraction of the time that’s far cleaner and better. Our existing words often get in the way. Learn to step around them and try something new.

This fits well with the last insight from the previous entry in this series, about writing lean. The beauty of writing lean is that you spend more time adding material, and less time wrestling with the pain of deletion or the discomfort of massaging the wrong words into a different order that isn’t much better.

Insight #23: Great books are all about pacing

To become a better writer, it helps to understand how the delivery of words affects a reader’s mood and their retention of information. The most important tool in this regard is pacing. Pacing can mean different things in different contexts. The next few insights are all about pacing in one way or another.

Let’s start with the importance of overall book pacing and construction. It can help to consider extreme scenarios in order to arrive at more general truths. For instance, imagine a 300 page novel with no chapters or scene breaks. I’m sure they’ve been written or considered by people eager to break rules and convention. I imagine they are nearly impossible to read. Why? Because our brains are built to absorb ideas in chunks and to process those chunks individually.

We experience things in the moment, move those experiences into short term memory, and then perhaps to long term memory. If we get too much information all at once, we can’t process it well (or at all). Chapters and paragraphs signal an opportunity to file away what we just absorbed and prepare to absorb another chunk. This is why paragraph length is critical for flow and retention. If possible, paragraphs should be of similar length, each one containing three to seven sentences. This can vary depending on how long or short the sentences are (more on that in a bit). And this rule can be broken to great effect. Those effects are diminished when the rule is ignored altogether.

Short paragraphs stand out – but only if used sparingly!

And long paragraphs have their place in our stories, especially if the desired effect is to ease the readers brain into a somnolent state, like the sing-song of a lullaby. Proust was a master of paragraphs like these; they went on for pages, and were full of sentences that stretched line after line, full of clauses and lists, huddled together between commas and semi-colons and dashes, all with the combined effect not of conveying concrete information and facts, but to get the reader in a certain mood, perhaps to make them wistful, to deprogram their concrete minds so they were ready for the dream-state of Proust’s expert meanderings; in this, the words become like music, more notes than ideas, and the reader’s muscles themselves relax, a hypnotic trance ensuing, perhaps at the risk of losing them to literature’s great nighttime enemy and thief: sleep.

Practice both types of paragraph structure and pacing. Look for examples in your own reading. Ask how the authors you admire are affecting your mood as you read their prose, and then ask the same questions as you revise your rough draft. Chop up that long paragraph into two or more. Be frugal with your short declarations so you don’t rob them of their power. Treat your words like lyrics and listen for the song they sing.

Insight #24: Find your cadence between action and reflection

The pacing in the previous insight deals with how words are lumped together. Their physical structure, if you will. There’s a second kind of pacing, and this one deals with the actual content and type of words used. It’s the flow between action and reflection, and it’s especially crucial for works of fiction.

Action scenes don’t necessarily mean gunfights and car chases and alien invasions. An action scene can be an argument between two lovers. It can be a fierce internal struggle as a character decides to leap or step back from a metaphorical ledge. Action scenes are anytime something major is happening in the plot or to the characters. The reader is usually flying through these passages at a higher rate of speed, eager to see what happens next. Most often, these scenes have large blocks of text and less dialog, but that’s not always the case.

Reflection is what happens after the action. It’s when characters absorb the change that’s happened and plan what comes next. Period of reflection also give the reader a chance to absorb what’s happened and to guess or dread what might happen next. This is the cadence of your book, the rise and fall of action and reflection.

Now, if an entire novel was written with nothing but action, it would make for an exhausting read. And if a book consisted of nothing but constant reflection, it would be difficult to wade through. In the former, you would have change in your plot but not your characters. In the latter, you would have change in your characters but no plot. Every book should contain some balance between the two.

That doesn’t mean the same balance. A literary novel will typically have lots of reflection and very brief spurts of action. A genre novel will have lots of action and shorter pauses for reflection. I haven’t seen a definition of what makes a work “literary” that I fully buy, but maybe this fingerprint of cadence comes closest. It could be why many genre fans can’t read literary novels, and why many literary fans can’t abide genre works. It doesn’t matter if the genre works are as well-written as the literature – there’s simply too much happening. Not enough reflection. I would argue that pace defines these books far more than content. Which is why some great works of science fiction, like THE LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS or THE HANDMAID’S TALE, read more like literary novels (and are often shelved as such).

As you revise your work, look for places where the action goes on too long and consider inserting a pause for reflection. Let the characters catch their breath in an elevator, crack a joke or two, or tend to some wound or primal fear before you pick up the pace again. Similarly, look for anywhere that characters are ruminating too long and figure out how to spice things up. If you’re bored with what you’re writing, chances are a lot of readers will be bored as well. Make a gun go off; a car backfire; someone in the neighboring booth get the wrong order and pitch a fit; a zombie pop up that has to be dealt with, anything. And if you feel like you’ve gone on long enough, there’s always the em dash and a sudden exit—

Insight #25: Don’t repeat yourself. Unless it’s deliberate. And then repeat yourself carefully.

Alliteration and repetition are both an important part of pacing, and they both highlight the importance of grasping reading psychology. Readers love repetition when it is deliberate, for extra punch, for added stress. But our minds trip over accidental repetition, as when the same words appear too near to one another in a paragraph or chapter accidentally.

The psychology of this is strange, and it varies slightly from reader to reader. Common words can appear throughout the same sentence or paragraph without tripping the reader up. Uncommon words draw attention to themselves. If the reader sees a rare word twice, part of their brain will perk up and draw attention to the second sighting, which breaks the flow and distracts them from the content or emotional impact of the sentence. One of the most common things you’ll see from a good editor is similar or same words highlighted if they’re too close to one another in a manuscript. The editor will suggest changing or deleting one of them. This is always sound advice.

Repetition, however, can be extremely powerful if wielded appropriately. Play around and experiment. Pay close attention as a reader to see when you trip up and how you might have avoided that mistake in your own writing.

Insight #26: Reading is aural

I find it fascinating that we can hear ourselves think. When I was very young, I had a hard time telling if this was indeed the case. When I read silently to myself, am I “hearing” those words in my mind? Or am I just thinking them? What seemed to settle the question for me was the ability to hear various accents in my head. I could think with a British accent, or a French accent, which meant the words didn’t just have meaning, they had pitch and inflection and all the properties of sound.

This is why cadence is so important when it comes to writing. It’s why the long paragraphs mentioned (and demonstrated) above have a powerful effect on us. This is also how we can hear our characters’ voices, and why it’s important to make those voices distinct. Common writing advice includes the importance of observation: sit and watch crowds and make note of how they move, how they dress, how their features look. This is great advice. But we have to observe with our ears as well.

Some of your characters will have gravelly voices. Others will have a slight lisp. They should have accents and vocal tics. Be sure that all of your characters don’t have your vocal tics, or they’ll all sound the same. You want these voices to jump out, so try to exaggerate the differences between their voices in your own head. The common mistake is to leave them all sounding the same.

Another mistake writers make is to leave out all the background noises that bring a scene to life. Pay attention when background noise is done well. A great example is the novel THE THOUSAND AUTUMNS OF JACOB DE ZOET by David Mitchell. Birds and street-sweepers, mischievous monkeys, the rattling of the wind, all of these things set the stage and help break up the dialog and narrative passages. They also help bring the world to life and make it real. Read this book, and you’ll become a better writer; I guarantee it.

The musicality of silent reading is why punctuation is so powerful. How much pause do you want readers to take? This power lies almost entirely with the choices you make. Liberal usage of commas – and there’s no hard and fast rule on many of the comma choices we make – can change how a sentence sounds in one’s head. The em dash (as used above) is super powerful. So are parentheticals as in the previous sentence; the beauty here is that a parenthetical provides not just a pause, but a hint to the reader to say these words softer, almost like an aside. The semi-colon in the previous sentence keeps things flowing more than a comma but less than a period. And going without punctuation as in the previous sentence, when I could easily have added one or two commas, rushes you right through.

The last sentence in the above paragraph could easily have been written without the middle clause and the two commas that encase it. It wouldn’t change the content or meaning, it just provides an example of what the sentence before it didn’t employ. Each of these decisions is a branch; everything sounds different depending on which one we go down. One of the most powerful skills a writer develops over time is the ability to “hear” these various choices in advance and choose the best one in each scenario. At first, it’ll require typing out several versions of each to see which you like best. Read each choice both aloud and silently. Eventually, you’ll make these choices without realizing it, and your writing will grow stronger.

I’ll say it again: Practice. Take a chapter you aren’t thrilled with and rewrite it from scratch, going for a more breezy style or a more punchy one. Write scenes that don’t have anything to do with your work in progress. Athletes do this all the time. They play a game of HORSE to improve their shooting form. They take a hundred free throws in a row. Actors will sit in front of a mirror and go through different moods and inflections; writers should do the same. Sit down and write a car chase, a bar fight, a sex scene, someone losing their job, someone getting their dream job, someone wishing they could quit their jobs. Do these things to play with your pacing and punctuation. If you go these extra lengths in your writing career, you’ll see dividends. I promise.

Insight #27: Zoom down into your character’s eyes.

Remember those posters that became a fad for a while, the ones that looked like tessellations of shapes but held hidden scenes of dinosaurs and dolphins? Kiosks in malls sold them. People would crowd around them and stare and stare, and then bust out laughing or gasp in surprise. Because if you crossed your eyes just right, 3D images popped out of nowhere. And then they’d disappear. You’d fight to get them back.

When you write your fiction, do you see the words on the page, or the events you’re describing? The chances are, you mostly see the words. I want to convince you that you can see both. And that the more you practice, and the deeper you fall into the flow of writing, the more often you’ll see just the action, and the words will disappear.

When you find this flow, you’ll write with astonishing speed and clarity. This is a truth that surprises most non-writers: On the days that I write the most, I have to edit the least. Quantity and quality often come hand in hand. I’ve written 10,000 words in a single day and had to edit very little of it. I’ve had other days where I agonize over 300 words and use none of them. Some days I get my eyes crossed just right. Other days, I’m staring at words.

The voice and tense you choose have a huge impact here, and we’ll discuss them next. More important perhaps is the zoom level you pick. You have to pinch-to-zoom your manuscript at times. If you are writing a fantasy novel, and you start with a prologue, you might want to zoom way out and write with a detached omniscience about the history of the land, the coronation and death of kings, the foment and ravages of war. If you are writing a thriller, you might start off your story by zooming in to write down the barrel of a gun, deliberately leaving out-of-view the larger context (like who is pulling the trigger). My advice is to stay as zoomed in as you possibly can. See the world through your characters’ eyes at all times.

Video games usually come in one of two perspectives. One perspective is the isometric view; it’s a third-person view above the action and at an angle. Unfortunately for many writers, this is the default view we assume when we write our first novels. I think it’s a huge mistake. We end up describing events and scenes as they appear, rather than as they feel. We give too much context about the layout of the scene and the action, and not enough context about the emotions and feelings of those experiencing those actions. If you feel like you’re seeing your story from this isometric, over-the-head view, stop writing and zoom back in.

The other videogame view is the first-person view, and this is what we’re after with our writing. Push down into your characters’ skulls. See the novel through their eyes. What are they thinking? What’s going on in the background? Are they hungry? Scared? Excited? Cold? Angry? Do they have any lingering aches? Is their mind wandering? Did they miss-hear something and need it repeated?

Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of describing events to the reader. Live through those events yourself and help your readers do the same.

Insight #28: Play with Tense and Voice until you find the right combo for each work

Tense and voice are basic writing concepts, but they merit mention here. I can’t count the number of times I’ve written a story in one tense or voice and had to revise the entire work to a different tense or voice. It happened in the previous entry of this series when I needed to write a quick chase scene. I thought it might be useful to share the before and after, so you can see the difference.

In past tense:

Marco bolted out the back door, Sarah right behind him. He could hear bar stools and tables toppling, had that last image of Marco reaching for his gun, and now every nerve in his body was waiting for a shot to ring out, for Sarah to cry she’d been hit, or to feel the punch and burn of a bullet slamming into his body. He urged Sarah ahead of him, knowing being shot would hurt less than seeing her go down. The end of the alley was a forever away. Footsteps pounded behind them, one of the goons yelling for them to stop or he’d shoot. Sarah swerved left and threw her shoulder into a shut door, the wood cracking. As the first shot rang out, Juan threw himself against her to shield her body with his. The both of them crashed through the door and into a busy kitchen. Men and women in white turned and gaped, but there was no time. Juan and Sarah scrambled to their feet and kept running.

And now in present tense:

Marco bolts out the back door, Sarah right behind him. He can hear bar stools and tables toppling, has that last image of Marco reaching for his gun, and now every nerve in his body is waiting for a shot to ring out, for Sarah to cry she’s been hit, or to feel the punch and burn of a bullet slam into his body. He urges Sarah ahead of him, knowing being shot will hurt less than seeing her go down. The end of the alley is a forever away. Footsteps pound behind them, one of the goons yelling for them to stop or he’ll shoot. Sarah swerves left and throws her shoulder into a shut door, the wood cracking. As the first shot rings out, Juan hurls himself against her to shield her body. The both of them crash through the door and into a busy kitchen. Men and women in white turn and gape, but there is no time. Juan and Sarah scramble to their feet and keep running.

Present tense is more powerful when we want to leave the outcome in doubt. Past tense often spoils the fact that the narrators lived to tell their story. Even worse, past tense can lose some of the immediacy of action. Anyone who has watched a taped sporting event versus a live sporting event can relate. Knowing that a thing is happening right now is a powerful feeling. But there are times that past tense just feels more apt for a particular story. Many writers are more comfortable writing in past tense, so they default to this. Whatever you choose, be consistent through each scene or chapter (in most cases, the entire book). And choose deliberately.

Voice is another major decision, one that can change in the revision process. This is a laborious amount of editing, so it’s best to think on these things early. But don’t be afraid to try both and see which one works better. There are myriad combinations of voice and tense. Some combinations are more off-putting than others, but this doesn’t mean you can’t make them work. The HUNGER GAMES books are written in first-person present tense, which many find difficult to read. Millions of fans of the books disagree. Here’s my chase scene again, this time in first person:

I bolt out the back door, Sarah right behind me. I can hear bar stools and tables toppling, and I see that last image of Marco reaching for his gun. Every nerve in my body is waiting for a shot to ring out, for Sarah to cry that she’s been hit, or to feel the punch and burn of a bullet slam into my own body. I urge Sarah ahead of me. Getting shot would hurt far less than seeing her go down.

The end of the alley is a forever away. Footsteps pound behind us, one of the goons yelling for us to stop or he’ll shoot. Sarah swerves left and throws her shoulder into a shut door, the wood cracking. As the first shot rings out, I hurl myself against her to shield her body. The two of us crash through the door and into a busy kitchen. Men and women in white smocks and hairnets turn and gape, but there is no time. Sarah and I scramble to our feet and keep running.

First-person present tense is great for reader immersion, but don’t rely on it. The number of sentences that start with “I” can be grating to the reader, so you have to work hard to mix it up. And the advantage with third-person perspectives is that we can move between characters from chapter to chapter. There’s also the nagging doubt that our narrator doesn’t survive their adventure, that the reason it’s told in third-person is because it has to be; the protagonist doesn’t make it. Third-person can be just as immersive if we write it zoomed in, as we mentioned above. Give us their thoughts and perspective, and it feels almost like we’re writing in first-person:

Juan hadn’t felt love like this since high school. Since Amanda. Turning over his arm, he studied the scar there across his bicep, the jagged raised whelp with the staggered row of dots to either side. She had told him to stop being a baby, to hold still, but he’d seen the way her hands shook as she threaded the needle. He remembered the blood on them both. There was only so much numb in the world when thread is making its way through flesh, skin puckering up as it’s pulled tight, the girl you love twisting her face up in concentration and worry, and you trying your damnedest to not pass out. Only so much numb in the world . . . What Juan wouldn’t do for some of that numbness right now.

In this example, we remove the reader from the POV by making it third person, and we remove events from the present by describing something about the past, and we write it all in past tense! Normally, these choices would create distance and reduce immersion. But is the passage above any less immediate? It feels like it’s through Juan’s eyes, even though it refers to him in the third person. Details and zooming work miracles, and they balance out our decisions about voice and tense. Speaking of details…

Insight #29: Details, details, details.

It has taken this long to mention my favorite writing technique, and now you’re in for it! Details turn stories into works of art. Details make us believe the stories we’re told. The number one thing that separates a serviceable writer from a great writer is the level of detail they achieve. We’re going to go through several examples here to kick your attention to detail up several notches.

Before we do, I want to stress why details matter. Our brains are wired for telling and hearing stories; there is some good research to suggest that this is a foundational feature of the human brain. We are storytelling animals. Some of these stories are true, and some aren’t. Some are meant to warn us of danger, some stories are meant to just give us information, and some stories are designed simply to entertain.

When stories are full of little details, we tend to believe them. Especially if those details make sense, and we don’t think the person telling the story would know to make those details up. Con men and practiced liars are great at sprinkling in details to distract from their overall fictions. Fiction writers should take note.

Let’s look at some common mistakes I see in early novels. These are problems you might find in your own work. These problems arise because the author cannot see the details of their world and their characters. The absence of these features call attention to the fiction. They create a backdrop similar to the one in the film THE TRUMAN SHOW, a feeling of all façade and no substance.

– The main character has no job and seems to never have had a job. You see this in a lot of YA. The character’s job – according to the author – is to allow the plot to happen to him or her. The character cannot possibly know about the plot that’s going to unfold, so this bit of convenience distracts us. Our brains can tell there’s something wrong, something missing.

– Entire branches of the protagonist’s family are missing. Anyone not central to the plot is absent, or paper-thin. Grandparents especially. This is because many authors don’t know how to include details without distracting from the plot. Great writers sprinkle details in a way that make the plot easier to understand, rather than distracting.

– Characters in poorly written novels often feel naked and empty-handed. When most of us leave the house, we have to plan what we wear, and we hunt and double-check that we have a handful of important items with us. In many freshmen novels, the character only has the plot to attend to. Out the door they go, furthering the plot along. Again, this often comes from improper zoom, inattention to detail, and not thinking about characters while away from the keyboard. As the author, you might know the protagonist is out the door to meet the girl of his dreams, but he only knows he’s going grocery shopping. Have him prepare and think accordingly.

– Food, water and their disposal. We eat, poop, and piss a lot. Characters in fiction never seem to. You don’t have to capture every instance, but you do have to include enough. Keep your characters hydrated! Make them stop the car and pee in the woods, the wind causing shadows to dance on the forest floor, the sound of something large moving through the branches, hopefully a deer. Food and its disposal are a great chance for reflection and cadence. No one does this better than George RR Martin, but you don’t have to take it quite so far as he.

– Give your characters scars, both physical and emotional. Too many characters are inserted into a plot as a blank canvas on which to drape some action. Their next love is their first love. Their next injury is their first injury. This is because not enough time has been spent daydreaming about these characters, their pasts, their families, their experiences. ROMEO AND JULIET starts with Romeo pining for his last love. The pattern of his fickleness tells us depths about him that a one-time love affair would not (and more about the Bard’s view of love as well).

– Behind-the-scenes knowledge. I read a book recently in which a character went on a talk show. One of the details mentioned was the choreography of cameras dancing and weaving beyond the bright lights, and it not only painted the scene for me, and what it must feel like to sit up there, it made me suspend disbelief because the author was sharing a detail that I realized must be true that I don’t often think about. Small details like this are what make it difficult to be a great writer; you need to know a lot of things about a lot of things. This is why a wide variety of experiences, jobs, reading, travel, and other types of media consumption make for a better writer.

– Totems and object origins. Does the character have a favorite piece of jewelry? Is their car a hand-me-down from a friend or relative? Is there a secret place they keep the things dear to them hidden? The more details like this that you sprinkle in, the more you’ll find use for them later in your plot. Just the mention of an uncle who gave your character their beater of a car might inspire you to bring that uncle in for a greater role down the road. This is the amazing thing about sprinkling details throughout your novel: Each one is an instance of pure imagination, and intricate plots are built on them. The best part is: when you use some detail for later inspiration in your novel, you’ve set up the original mention as a nice bit of foreshadowing.

During the revision process, I’m always looking for places to add detail. In my chase scene from the last section, I originally didn’t have the chefs in the kitchen wearing white smocks and hairnets. With just a few words, we can paint a scene more vividly. In a fast paced action scene, only certain highlights might stand out. We might not see that one of the chefs is tall and thin, another short and squat, one holding a colander, another stirring a steaming pot. But we’d notice they’re all dressed the same, because a group of strangers rarely are. We might notice all are wearing hats or hairnets. Or that one is holding a knife, because our adrenaline is pumping. Which details we choose to add are important. Think about what would stand out to your character if you were in their shoes.

One last example of detail, this one on how to interrupt your action. The world does not come at us linearly. When people talk, they rarely do so in complete sentences. They finish each other’s sentences, cut each other off once they understand the gist of what’s being said, incorrectly hear some words and make mistakes or have to ask for clarification. And some details interrupt the flow of the plot. A plot on rails stands out as being inauthentic. Send characters down dead-end alleys, literally and metaphorically. Use interruptions to sprinkle in backstory, foreshadowing, and missing details.

For instance, your detective might be chasing the bad guy when her grandmother calls to ask her to help with her computer. The detective doesn’t have time right now. You never have time for your grandmother, she might hear. Oh, okay… And she walks her through sending an attachment to another relative, all while trying not to lose the killer. Diversions like this add depth and realism. They wake the reader up. Make sure your story has a few.

Insight #30: Get help!

Every writer has strengths and weaknesses. You might be a whiz with dialog, but you can’t write action scenes that feel gripping. You can build amazing worlds, but you can’t create characters that leap off the page. There are hundreds of small skills that add up to one great writer; no one starts off good at all of them.

Getting many different perspectives on our works during the revision process will not only improve the drafts, they’ll improve the writer. It’ll make subsequent novels better, and they’ll require less editing. Join a writing group in your area; form one if a writing group doesn’t already exist. There are online editing groups out there as well. These groups often exchange rough drafts, and each member makes notes to assist the author. Take this process seriously. You’ll learn much through another author’s strengths and weaknesses. They’ll teach you much in return.

Read about writing, especially while you’re in revision mode. One of my favorites is EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES by Lynne Truss. It’s a hilarious book about grammar that will clean up lots of technical mistakes, leaving room for your editors and critique partners to comment more on story, characters, and pacing.

Find a loved one who can be an honest critic. My mother has been a wonderful collaborator over the years. She never hesitates to tell me where I can improve a story. It also helps to know when she’s confused, when I’ve left out too much information, or perhaps where I added too much detail.

When the revision process gets to the last stages, and you’re reading along looking for typos and rough edges, rope in some beta readers if possible. Some authors employ dozens of beta readers, but this is only easy to do once you have a following. Starting out, you might have to cajole friends into helping. Whatever you do, don’t be worried about “giving away” your work or your ideas. If you’re this far along in the process, you’ll know by now that execution is the difficult part. Ideas are the cheap bits.

Those are my top ten insights on the revision process. If you’ve made ten or twelve passes through your work, and you’ve had some editorial assistance to find the things you missed, you should have a nicely polished draft of an interesting story clearly told. Now what? How do you get as many readers as possible? Or as many sales? Or win awards? Or ensure the best chances of making a livable income?

* This is the third in a four-part series. Read the rest:

Writing Insights Part One: Becoming a Writer

Writing Insights Part Two: The Rough Draft

Writing Insights Part Four: Publishing Your Book

  A version of this article appeared at The Wayfinder.

Hugh Howey

Hugh Howey is the author of the award-winning Molly Fyde saga and the New York Times and USA Today bestselling WOOL series. The WOOL OMNIBUS won the Kindle Book Review 2012 Indie Book of the Year Award.

[kinderwrath]

"Well that was a bold face lie."

Hi! I’m Kinder. I am a avid Magic The Gathering player and a woman in her early mid-ish late 30’s. I am a graphic designer by day and a wannabe writer in my spare time, I have always been a fan of the stories and lore from the MtG multiverse. For some odd reason I have always felt Chandra Nalaar is my spirit animal. Maybe it’s my red hair or that my first ever Magic card was a revised edition Fireball, who knows. But I do know I’m the only one at my local game shop with a mono red Jaya and Chandra BFFs Commander deck. Seriously its hilarious, all burny fire and smart ass flavor text. But I digress, after reading some of the most recent lore stories I found myself intrigued by the “ahem” friendship between Chandra and Nissa. Of course this led to some fanfiction reading. Ok a lot of fanfiction reading and me being rather grumpy when there was nothing left to read. So……

–Let me preface this next bit by saying I told myself this story would never leave that dark corner of my documents folder. I am a liar. Re:See the posts title.–

So I decided to just write my own. Seems innocent enough. A nice little story, all romance with a sprinkle of smut. Yes. Smut. Hey don’t judge, a reader could use a little passion and heat now and again. Nut back to my thought, innocent right?  Nope, now my brain won’t stop inventing new bits and chapters and I’m running out of space to remember things like “Do I need laundry soap?” and “Did I eat today?” I figured as a way to make some space in my head I would leave the story out here for you fine people. 

~Ok the legal bits: Please understand I don’t own anything here it’s all WOTC. If this story were a movie it would have a NC17 rating, NSFW ok? You have been warned. I am also not a professional writer. I would love to be someday sure, who wouldn’t.

 Anywho! Here goes, if you love it great! If you don’t, also great! To each their own. This is just chapter 1, I’m at about 8 right now. I put the rest up on Wattpad http://my.w.tt/UiNb/MxMubtGLnB. But I will keep adding them here too.

So let me just leave this here…

Natures Flame By: KinderWrath

Chapter 1

The battle The Gatewatch endured was more exhausting then Chandra had expected. As she looked in the mirror in Nissa’s small bathroom she finally saw how destroyed she looked and understood the worry she had seen in Nissa’s eyes. She remembered hearing screaming and knowing it was her own voice. There were points where she didn’t know if it was from rage or pain. But it was when Nissa had fallen from the effort to control the leyline that Chandra had felt so helpless and afraid. Since the day they met Chandra had a deep desire to protect and care for Nissa. She was her best friend and closest confidant. She had been in love with Nissa from almost day one. There was just something captivating about the slender elf that made her feel completely at peace whenever she was with her. She had never gotten up the courage to tell Nissa how she felt. Nor did she know if Nissa was even interested in women. She had never seen her in a romantic relationship with anyone. Not that Chandra had a list of names herself. In fact she had no names. She had never been with anyone. She had projected a show of confidence and expertise in that department that was a front to hide her insecurities and self doubt. She had held Nissa so close after she collapsed desperate to protect her from the battle and selfishly because if anything happened she wanted to feel the elf in her arms at least one time before Nissa was gone from this world.

Gideon had offered to make sure Nissa would be safe while she fell back for cover. But Chandra would be damned if she would leave her side now. He came running back to the others, as the crowd of creatures pressed closer.

“I’ll watch over her until she wakes up. You two planeswalk back to safety.” He said.

Chandra, hands ablaze. “Not gonna happen. We’re all walking out of here together, or…” Her bravado faded with her trailing words.

“Or not at all,” Jace supplied. “Together or not at all?”

Chandra gave him a look that answered his question with finality.

Liliana had showed up just at the right time then to help, but just as they were about to shift planes Chandra had caught a unlucky energy ball to her back. She had seen the abomination in its death throes trying to get one last shot in at The Gatewatch. She had encircled Nissa the best she could to protect her but took the brunt of the blow to her back and shoulder as they shifted plains. With a resounding grunt she remembered hitting the ground sprawled on her back on the other side. She as still holding Nissa in her arms and thought ‘Worth. It.’ the pain ripped through her then and everything seemed to go dark around the edges. She heard Nissa’s voice as the elf yelled “She did what!” “She was protecting you” Jace explained his hands in the air as a gesture of peace. Then softer and so very close to her ear that Chandra could feel the heat of her breath. “I swear to Gaea if you don’t wake up ‘Spark’ I will kick your chain mail ass” She could hear the small smile in the animists voice, but also felt something hot and wet on her face as Nissa pressed her forehead to hers. Nissa was crying, she tried to say something back but the darkness claimed her then.

When I woke up I had been sleeping in Nissa’s small bed in the tree house she had created to live in while The Gatewatch had planned and trained. I could see Nissa across the room her eyes closed in meditation. She was ok and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Quietly I crossed the room not wanting to disturb Nissa. I new the place well and had no trouble finding the bathroom to asses the extent of the damage. I was stiff and sore and I could see the bruise across my shoulder under my tank top. The pain was bad enough I almost couldn’t move my arm. I decided I should try to check out the whole area and clumsily tried to take my tank top off over my head. I grumbled and let out a small quite embarrassing squeak of pain. I heard a crash and footsteps, just as I turned around I saw a very concerned Nissa in the doorway. “You gave me a heart attack Spark! I’m glad your up, but what are you doing?” She said as she walked closer. “I was just trying to survey the damage, but I’m a little creaky at the moment. I can’t get my shirt off to look.” I said. “Here let me” Nissa said as she came in closer behind me, and started to untuck my shirt from my leggings.“ I was suddenly flushed and embarrassed, I could feel the pink spreading across my face and to the tips of my ears. “Nis, I… it’s o, ok ah, I can look at it later, no worries” Nissa gently turned me so that I was facing her. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of the both of us in profile in the mirror. I looked like complete garbage. My red hair was snarled and coming lose from the braid over my shoulder. There were fresh scratches across the right side of my nose and a purple green bruise on my chin. Nissa looked beautiful as always, her slender pointed ears held a perfect circlet of wild flowers. Her haunting green on green eyes always seemed to dance with energy. And her dark hair made her pale skin look almost luminescent. Today she did look tired though, like a large weight had been pressing down on her. Her normally perfect braid even looked a bit mussed although not nearly as much as mine…wait a minute I don’t braid my hair I thought as my mind wandered. I was suddenly brought back to reality when Nissa softly said my name. “Chandra?” It startled me a bit, I was so used to her calling me by the nickname she had given me ‘Spark’. “Maybe you should lie back down? Where did you go just now?” Nissa asked “You looked like you were in a different world just now.” “No, no I’m ok just a little foggy is all.” I replied with a too obvious fake laugh. Nissa smiled and then reached to finish untucking my tank top. When her hand met my waist again it was like someone had fired the blush cannons and I felt my self trembling a tiny bit under her touch. I silently prayed to the fates that Nissa couldn’t feel it. “Spark? Are you embarrassed to let me see you with your shirt off? Your shaking.” Well screw you too fates, you couldn’t let me have this one? I mentally chided them. “I, I, jussst…” I attempted to stammer a response. “You do know I have seen you completely naked before, right?” Nissa asked. Oh for the love of ale… I had thought I had blocked that night out and more over I didn’t realize Nissa had caught the show. Liliana and I had been matching each other stein for stein one night and when I was good and blurry she dared me to take a naked dip in the stream by camp. I didn’t take into account how much better at drinking the century old necromancer would be. It turned out that Liliana had not only wanted to see me naked that night but other plans for me as well. I couldn’t turn down a dare, my ego is unstoppable sometimes. She had kissed me as we stood in the water. It felt exciting and nice at first I almost gave in to it, but my head cleared a bit and I pulled away. In my heart she wasn’t who I wanted to be with. Liliana had guessed it, I hadn’t planned on telling her. But she understood and with a wink she mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key. She had never brought it up again.

“You saw that!?” “Spark” Nissa replied. “Like all of it?” “Spark” Nissa tried again. “Just me naked? Did you…?” “Chandra!” Nissa raised her voice and grabbed my wildly gesturing hand in hers. I abruptly stopped my runaway mouth and tried to meet her eyes with mine. “I was coming back from meditating just over the hill by the stream. It wasn’t like I was stalking you or anything. I saw you and Liliana as you came up from under the water. The sound caught my attention. I saw you kiss and was going to leave to give you two privacy… but you rather quickly headed for shore. You were standing in the moon light, and it was a full moon that night so it was kinda hard to miss.” Nissa explained. Then it was Nissa’s turn to look a little embarrassed. “I, uh didn’t mean to stare or anything, but yes I have seen you naked”. Knowing that Nis had seen me naked and worse maybe had seen me kiss Liliana my voice got very quiet. “Ok, I ok” I said. I turned my back to her and she finished untucking my tank top. My skin felt like fire where her hands brushed my back as she the fabric up over my head and gingerly over my bruised shoulder. I reflexively covered my chest with my arms and gave a small yelp in pain when I moved my bad arm to quickly. “Chandra, breath ok?” I sucked in a shaky breath and let my arms fall to my sides. Nissa ran her fingers lightly over the battered part of my back and shoulder. I was so lost in the sensation I almost didn’t hear her start talking again. “I, this is a little worse then I thought. I couldn’t really see when you were out. I didn’t want you to wake up half naked, but I could only see so much with your shirt in the way.” Nissa explained. I could feel her slender fingers as they ran the length of my shoulder again. Was it my imagination or did it seem like Nis was trying to keep her hands on me as long as possible? When she touched where my shoulder met my arm I couldn’t ignore the pain. “Ow damn it!” I cursed. Nissa froze. “Nis no, not at you. It is just really tender there. Sorry” I apologized. “Spark, it’s ok. But I think it’s out of the socket. I’m not strong enough to put it back. I’m going to have to get Gideon.” She said. I reached for my shirt, I sure as hell didn’t need Gideon seeing me topless. She put her hand over mine to stop me.“But Nis I, I…” I said as I tried to find a gesture to explain my hesitation. “Hold on just a sec, I have something that will work” She said as she left the room. She came back in holding a deep green, very silky robe. I recognized it immediately. I had seen her in it a few times after bathing in the stream, her hair still damp. I had always wondered if it felt as soft as it looked. She placed it over my shoulders and I easily slid my injured arm in the flowing sleeve as she tied the front closed. “I’m not sure how easy it will be to get your shirt on or off after Gideon puts your shoulder right. This will make your injury easier to tend too.” She said. Nissa’s eyes met mine. “Thank you” I said. “It looks nice on you, fitting.” She smiled and then was gone to get Gideon’s help. What was that supposed to mean? I thought and then I shifted my weight and felt the fabric move against my skin. It felt amazing, like wearing water. But the best part was how Nissa’s smell enveloped me. It was like fresh wild flowers and that smell right after a spring rain all mixed together. It made me a little light headed and flush, I actually had to use my good arm to steady myself.

Gideon’s voice shook me out of my daydream. “Chan? You ok there?” He asked “Ya, ya. Just in a bit of pain here Gids.” I grimaced with my response. “Well Nissa said it looked dislocated. Turn around and let me take a look.” I did as Gideon instructed and loosened the tie on the robe so the fabric slid down my shoulders while keeping my modestly intact. Gideon let out a low whistle. “Ya, that’s a bad one. I’m not going to lie kid, this is really going to hurt. You may be out of commission for awhile.” I wanted to protest or complain, but I stopped myself. It didn’t matter, I would do this a hundred thousand times if it meant I had protected Nissa. So I just nodded yes. “Well let’s get to it then” Gideon said as he walked out of the bathroom and into Nissa’s small sitting room. Nissa helped me get the robe back over my shoulders and grabbed my hand in hers. Her eyes met mine again and I could see the worry there. “It’s going to be ok” she said softly. All I could do was nod, I was afraid I would start to cry if I did anything else. We followed Gideon out, but she didn’t let go of my hand. If anything she held it tighter. “Ok sit down here.” He said as he gestured to a chair that looked like it had grown up from Nissa’s vine woven floor. “So Chan your a little to strong for me to do this and hold you down. Nissa, if you wouldn’t mind?” He asked looking expectantly at her. Nissa smiled sheepishly and two green vines from the chair wrapped over my thighs holding me in place. “Well I’m sure that comes in handy with unruly guests, doesn’t it?” Nissa smiled at my sarcasm and I relaxed my arm the best I could. Nissa’s eyes never left mine, neither did her hand. “Ok on the count of three. One, two, three.” Then there was a audible pop and white hot pain flooded over me. I didn’t make a sound, I couldn’t. I saw the tears that filled Nissa’s eyes as she mouthed the words “I’m sorry.” I didn’t want her to know how much pain I was in. “Ok good, it looks like it went back in place perfectly. Ice, rest and try not to move it too much. That will help with the swelling. Nissa, she is going to need someone with her for at least the first few days. I trust I can count on you?” He asked. “Absolutely Gideon, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She answered him keeping her eyes on mine. “Ok I will check back in soon. You did good Kid and I don’t just mean this.” And with that he was gone. The vines around my thighs loosened and wove back into the chair. Nissa helped me up and back to the alcove where her small bed was.