#but anyway the most recent one can increase gravity but only for themselves and I had some really neat ideas for that

[silvertsundere]

I think it's funny how I'll be building up a new character in my head and after the first basic details it usually devolves into figuring out what kinda power/ability fits them/would be cool and putting them in combat situations sometimes I feel bad but at the end of the day I am an action junkie so I should just embrace it

[pixiebuggiewrites]

Sorry Wrong Number!

Masterpost - Previous - Next - Ao3 link

Chapter 2:  Hawkmoth has really bad designs and perhaps even worse timing

Since it was her off night from patrol, Ladybug was the last one onto the scene. She landed down on a building next to Viperion, who was observing the akuma’s skillset as Kuro Neko played distraction down below them.

The villain of tonight's look was... interesting to put it nicely. They were a boy around the same age as the heroes that seemed to be wearing a slightly oversized purple and blue three piece suit with a not-so-subtle lightning pattern running up the arms. His hair was shock white and seemed to be defying gravity while his eyes were protected by bright blue goggles-possibly where the akuma was residing. More importantly, he seemed to be covered in electricity, which was gonna make it difficult to get any hits in. He also had a laptop with him- another contender for the akuma’s hiding place but most likely just a weapon.

Not Hawkmoth’s worst design, but it definitely wasn't his finest work either. Though to be fair she had run around in spotted spandex for two years before she found out she could change her costume, so those in glass houses she supposed.

Viperion, noticing the team leader's arrival began to fill her in on what they knew so far.

“They're calling themselves ‘Elect-Trick’, keeps sending out shockwaves to try and knock us back which is frustrating but our suits seem to take the brunt of it which helps but Neko’s staff is a no go at the moment since there's no way to know if it’ll conduct the electricity.”

It likely would, something they had found out the hard way during the last weather akuma they had to face. While magical it was still metallic in nature sadly, which meant she needed to also be careful with her yoyo. She still isn't really sure what it’s made of besides magic, but this was not the way she wanted to find out.

“Alright, in that case we’ll continue to keep him away from the Eiffel Tower, it’s likely the akuma’s going to try and use it as a large conductor. I’m gonna head down, stay up here and be ready to use your second chance at the signal.” She instructed

Viperion nodded and went back to watching the fight just as Ladybug swooped down to join in. She was just in time as the akuma had begun to corner Neko, who had no choice but to rely on playing defense while her staff was out of the mix. The two heroes nodded their heads in greeting as Ladybug yoyo-d her cat themed friend over putting the duo back on even ground with the villain, who seemed to be ranting about school elections of all things.

Which would be a probable explanation for the first half of his name.

The two continued to fight back against the akuma, neither side quite able to grab the upper hand. Ladybugs yoyo-as it turned out, did not conduct electricity afterall. And, seeing as it's practically indestructible she was able to land hits on the akuma without getting shocked. But the akuma had realized the issue with Neko’s staff and was using that to their advantage, aiming a decent chunk of their attacks at the cat hero which forced them to go back on the defense.

As the fight had been going for over an hour at this point, the spotted heroine decided to bring out the big guns. After doing a silent signal letting Viperion know to start his timer, she got in position to call on her lucky charm.

But she didn't get a chance to. Just as she went to throw her yoyo in the air, Viperion called out a warning that sent a feeling of dread through her.

“LB watch out, There's an amok headed straight for the computer!”  

Sure enough, there was an all too familiar purple feather floating through the air on track for the laptop that she quickly caught and purified it before it could land. Thank the Kwami for the power of second chance, nobody wanted to deal with a sentimonster on top of everything else tonight.

Keeping Kuro Neko on the lookout for anymore feathers, She finally activated her lucky charm. Throwing her yoyo up she manifests… a slingshot! She could work with that, just needed to find ammo. Looking around her eyes land firmly on the window of a small toyshop.

Bingo!

Having Viperion keeping an eye out in case he was needed temporarily as backup, she sneaks over and breaks the window with her yoyo. Typically, the heroine would feel bad about causing this much property damage but tonight she’s tired and wants to get this over with so she can make a plan of action for the whole ‘Mayura seems to be back’ thing with her team and maybe get at least a couple hours of sleep. Anyways her miraculous cure would fix the window and return the bouncy balls she was actively stealing so no harm done? After finishing committing what was technically a misdemeanor, she made her way over to the roof Viperion was on and handed off the slingshot supplies before making her way back down.

Luckily Neko had managed to keep Elect-Trick distracted enough for the team to catch him off guard. On Ladybugs call Viperion began to pelt the Akuma with rubber balls, drawing his sight away for long enough to tie him up and take his glasses. One cataclysm later, the teen had been successfully deakumatized and she was able to cast her cure, fixing the decent chunk of property damage caused that night. After making sure the teen was okay to get home safe and getting his address for the interview she would have to conduct later, she turned to her team.

“Good work today guys, let's meet back at base in 30.” Her eyes communicated the urgency of the meeting despite the neutral tone of voice she tried to maintain.

From there the teens all departed in separate directions to recharge their powers and head to the team's secret base.

----------

Okay so secret base was a bit of an overstatement. It is a secret place that the team uses as a base of operations but it was less of a Batcave and more of a repurposed hotel room in Le Grand Paris.

Chloe had brought up the idea after one too many close calls with Marinette's parents while the girls were investigating Hawkmoth. They needed a place to discuss hero work safely without having to talk in code but the question was where. Obtaining an apartment would be difficult as all of them but Luka were still underage, not to mention the issue of trying to pay rent without any parental suspicion. Luckily for Chloe, it's surprisingly easy to just claim a hotel room without being questioned when your Father owns the hotel.

And while it was no Batcave, it wasn't anything to scoff at either. The four teens had been able to pool together enough money in the beginning for the basics, which meant that now any small snuck away chunks of commission money, music gig payments, competition winnings, and allowances were all able to go to improving things bit by bit.

The room was already quite nice, having a separate bedroom that they used as a gym and a kitchenette that was kept well stocked with kwami snacks. Then there was the  main area, which had been split down the middle. The first side was dedicated to the investigation and housing Marinette's Guardian materials, While the second half was a hangout zone where they could chat or decompress after any particularly rough fights.

The base was also secure, Marinette had put so many spells and protections on the room with the help of the kwami that it might as well be a pocket dimension of sorts. The magical security system of sorts was extremely complicated, being tied to the teams auras in a way so that the only way to even find it without being one of them was to be taken there by Ladybug herself. It had taken weeks to pull off but was well worth it to give her team a place that was safe from the outside world.

Ladybug was the first to arrive this time, having flopped down into a chair at their meeting table as her two friends entered the room and joined her. They all sat there for a moment, processing the fact of Mayura’s return. Of course this would happen when they were down a member, it wasn't a complete surprise that the peacock miraculous would come back into play at some point but it was really bad timing.

“So what exactly is the plan?” Viperion asked, finally breaking the silence.

Ladybug sighed, knowing that their workload was going to increase once again. At least it was close to summer vacation.

“First we need to increase patrols- especially around the typical hot spots, Neko do you think we’ll be able to finish those jars by this time next week?”

The cat hero nodded “They're almost done, we’ll need to test them somehow though.”

The two of them had recently been working on a variation of an object enchantment technique mentioned in the grimoire. The original object was dubious in nature, having been used as a cage of sorts that kwami wouldn't be able to phase through. Marinette was disgusted by the thought, further feeding into some suspicions she had about the old order. As she was ranting about it to Kagami about it, her fencer friend got an idea for a way to repurpose the spell to trap akuma when Ladybug couldn't easily get to a fight. It would also allow them a new way to prevent possessions when Ladybug wasn't actively on patrol.

“That's good. Lastly I need Bee’s new number, I was going to ask you for it tomorrow but I need to give her a heads up to start on a new case file. We also might want to move up our plans to contact the heroes there.”

Kuro Neko quickly jotted down the number on a nearby notecard and handed it to Ladybug. After hammering out a few last details about their new patrol schedules the heroes were all free to head home for the night.

The trip home was uneventful, and she arrived home to see that it was just past midnight. She also noticed that her bath bomb had been fixed! It was sometimes a gamble on if something like that would count as akuma damage so it was a nice victory after the day she’s had.

Marinette quickly put in Chloe's number, eager to get to bed. She sent her blonde friend a summary on what happened and let her know to be on the lookout for an email tomorrow with the information to assemble a case file. And with that, Marinette drifted off to sleep.

She had made a small mistake though. In her tired state the young designer’s finger slipped, putting a 5 where there was meant to be a 4.

Meaning Chloe Bourgeois was not the recipient of her intended message.

Good thing she wrote the message in code?

----------

Across the ocean, Damian Wayne received a strange text message.

--------------------------------------------

Taglist (open!!): 

@queencommonsense

[antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx]

Hi! Sorry to be bothering you, but I just want answers. So, I’m an anti, however recently I have begun to question anti ideology (especially considering how disgusting anti’s can be to pro-shippers), so I was wondering if you would be willing to explain why dark fiction is okay to consume? It’s alright if you don’t want to ^^

I'm always willing to explain! I'll try not to make this so long that you'll want to throw your device out the window, but chances are that's what's going to happen.

First off, thinking dark fiction is gross is okay and not what I'm against. I really don't like bloodplay, for example, and if someone asked me what I thought of that kink I'd say "bleh gross nty". It's the making judgements on people for not also finding it gross that I have an issue with. So if you "switched sides", so to speak, anyone who would expect you to magically like problematic shit is misunderstanding the point.

Anyway. To the real stuff! Psychology is a relatively new field, I admit, so there haven't been hundreds of years of official studies run on the effects of dark fiction on the human brain. But so far they show a correlation in increased aggressive behaviour in some people. So, definitely some people will not do well with it. However, this discounts some important other factors. Let's get into those:

Aggressive behaviour ≠ violent behaviour in psychological terms. There isn't any proof that aggressive behaviour transfers over to violent behaviour automatically, and in most cases we can safely assume it doesn't, because other things correlated with increased aggression (sleep deprivation, high temperatures, etc) happen often without violence. This makes a very small sliver of the population vulnerable to this risk factor. Good news! Risk factors can be mitigated with protective factors. This includes education, especially programs (called primary prevention programs) designed to promote communication, problem solving, and anger management. The basics of education are really up to parents and school faculty, not fanfiction authors. But tagging and trigger warnings are a good way to bridge that gap as much as we can, as labeling behaviour specifically with a "this is abuse" sticker in bold letters teaches people to recognise what abusive behaviour looks like. You can frame it romantically, but if you read the warning labels, which you always should, you can see through the romantic framing and into the true nature of the actions. For example, a Bakudeku fic labeled "unhealthy relationship", "abusive behaviour", "Bakugou has issues to work through", etc, acknowledges the nature of Bakugou's bullying. If there's fluff, it's still in a sense overwritten by the warning labels. And real life abusive relationships can have fluffy moments, too. Mine did. That's part of what makes them insidious, because you get used to the black and white "if they do bad things they can't also be shown to do good things, so if my abuser does good things, is that really a bad relationship?" kind of mentality that's common here. It is a bad relationship. Fluff doesn't discount abuse.

Next of course is that violent people can be attracted to violent media. So when antis draw causation from the correlation of aggression and media violence, they're not viewing the whole picture, which is vital in all statistical analyses.

Okay, you say. Right. But if we encourage problematic stuff, that means all fanfic will be problematic stuff, and that will normalise these awful things. Well, no. Not really. Underage tagged works (a tag that also includes teenager/teenager relationships) on AO3 are something like 1 percent of all works. That implies it's not going to be written about too often, and also shows that it doesn't have a great reach. The most popular fic of all time has, what, 600k hits? 600k people is a lot of people, but it's still not enough to normalise something as horrific as child abuse or rape. That's a societal moral. Changing something like that is a top-down process that requires A LOT of reach. And frankly, for the average person with the average moral compass, normalising that would be very, very difficult. People can definitely experience deindividuation and a sudden disregard for morals, but it doesn't usually come from the media they consume. It's usually a sense of freedom from reprimand and encouragement by a higher authority. And take again that it's only 1 percent of the fics on AO3, and therefore has halved traffic. It's not a significant threat.

Okay, but why would you want to write it in the first place? If it could be used to hurt someone else why even bother? A lot of things can be used to hurt someone else. It's about proportions. How much hurt vs how much good. Most predators are going to be using some other tool instead, so banning those fics and art that's disgusting doesn't make a significant dent in predation, and also limits the good effects that can happen (which include freedom from censorship, which is hugely important in maintaining a democracy). Another good effect is cope shipping and catharsis. Sure, this isn't always going to work. Hell, a lot of therepuetic techniques themselves don't work on everyone. But it's a legitimate method that, using the principles of exposure therapy, doesn't automatically mean retraumatisation. Whether the technique is helpful to a particular survivor should be up to them and their therapist. A random stranger on the internet doesn't know them well enough to make that kind of judgement.

And finally, even the most repulsive of fictional content doesn't depict things that have directly happened IRL. You can make fictional characters suffer and nobody IRL suffers instead. This is good for exploring things that can't be explored IRL. It can help curb impulses. When antis compare the suffering of fictional characters to real people, they're implying real people and fictional characters have equal rights. Real people always matter more than fictional ones. Fictional characters aren't people in the first place. No real person suffers as a direct result of dark fiction being written. Implying that the suffering they cause is equal trivialises the true gravity of real abuse. Real abuse always harms someone as a direct result. Always.

Anyway. Those are the most common discourse points. Hope that helped. Sorry it was long.

[starsgivemehp]

Worldbuilding/Magic Handbook (updated)

Hey, fellas, I recently found my old google doc which explains my headcanons (across the various AUs and verses), including magic, humans, monsters of all species, food, stats, fighting, etc. Everything I could possibly think of! I looked through it, added a fair amount of stuff, and clarified a few examples. I doubt very many people are seriously interested in the details, but I figured I’d throw it up here anyway, just in case someone wants to read it. It’s under a cut for length!

How does magic work for humans with magic?

-Humans all have souls, and souls are all made up of magic. Thus, all humans have at least a little bit of magic within them. The amount of magic and the ability to wield it vary from person to person. ‘Most’ people are unaware of the magic in their bodies and are incapable of using it, but could, with a lot of time and effort, learn how to channel and use it but are never given the chance. A minority are completely unable to use it, and a minority have enough of it/enough of a natural talent/enough of a bloodline that they can use it without training or influence, and training will help them hone it. For example, one OC, Psyche, has enough natural magic in her that she can use it at will, though it took her some time to work out how and what her limits are. Another OC, Naomi, has a deeply magical bloodline that she, too, can use it with some effort, but does not have the discipline to hone it until underground/near enough magic for her body to get used to it.

How do monster bodies work?

- Monsters have weaker, greyish souls, and their bodies are physical manifestations of those souls that are partially due to lineage and environment, and partially up to the individual monster’s decisions. For example, monsters will have characteristics of their parents, and will tend to have bodily functions appropriate for where they live (monsters who live in snowdin are resistant to cold, monsters who live in hotland are resistant to heat, monsters who live in waterfall can almost all swim and either love or need water, etc). However, other aspects of their bodies and magic are shaped due to conscious or subconscious actions and thoughts. For example, even though magical bodies don’t have real muscles or organs, an Undyne has shaped her body to look muscular due to rigorous training and intent to be strong. Her body is mimicking what organic bodies do when put under the same circumstances. This works the same way for skeleton ecto. A skeleton like my fell!Papyrus, Vex, who trains a lot, has very toned ecto that mimics muscle and is even a bit harder in firmness, whereas a skeleton like his brother Red, who spends a lot of time laying around but is still fit enough to fight, has softer ecto with more rounded edges and volume to it. Essentially, monster bodies are only made up of magical manifestations and cannot truly bleed (though skeleton monsters do have marrow), but have the outward appearance of having all of the functions of any organic creature and can be modified in the same ways.

- Monster bodies need certain amounts of ventilation throughout their lives. A monster that does not wield magic often enough can get ‘stuffed up’ and sick. This is rare for adults, who know how to properly vent and use magic but may rarely chose not to do so/be otherwise unable to do so (magic suppressors are an example), but common in children, who have not yet learned the intricacies of venting magic on a day-to-day basis. The symptoms of this monster sickness are similar to the common cold in humans: fever, stuffed up feeling, sneezing or runny nose if the monster has a nose, fatigue, and an achey feeling. It generally clears up in a few days, and there is medicine to help (which is black and tarry and children don’t tend to like it).

- Generally speaking, gender is flexible for monsters. Certain species have concretely-defined genitalia (for example, dog monsters, bunny monsters, etc), certain species have no genitalia and reproduce solely through soul interaction (for example, moldsmal, other small fry, sometimes certain elementals), and yet others are somewhere in between and can go in either direction (for example, fire elementals and skeletons).

- In the same vein, unless the monster is of the type that has concretely-set genitalia and does not use asexual/soul-based reproduction, monsters of any gender can conceive. The easiest example of this is the fluidity of skeleton genitalia, and whichever skeleton happened to have the female genitalia on during conception winds up being the ‘mother’ regardless of gender. In terms of soul-based reproduction, typically fire elementals, the partners make a conscious decision as to which soul receives the excess magic to become the mother. For example, Grillby and his wife connected via the soul and Grillby intentionally imparted enough of his own magic on hers to conceive. This process is not guaranteed, much like human pregnancies, but has a higher conception rate than using humanoid genitalia.

- Monster bodies are also influenced by emotion and situation. The most obvious example is a monster’s stats. ATK and DEF can go up with training and certain mindsets for most monsters, although some are completely incapable of raising these stats (usually Sanses, and usually for emotional reasons. Red’s disabilities are an exception). Monsters like Vex and my swap!Sans Legall have inflated their ATK and DEF to very impressive levels through a lot of effort and training. Other monsters, like boss monsters, have more naturally high ATK and DEF, but even they can build it up more with enough training and intent. This is why, for example, fell!Asgore is even stronger than classic!Asgore despite their bodies being otherwise very similar.

- In a similar vein, ATK and DEF can suddenly tank due to emotions. The easiest example of this is how the fallen human can SPARE Toriel up until the point where she gives in, and then suddenly kill her in one hit even when not in a genocide run due to her DEF dropping.

- HOPE is another stat that is influenced by surroundings and emotions. HP has a general minimum and maximum according to monster species, and falling below that minimum is an indicator of poor health, typically mental health. A monster who starts to suffer from depression may start to lose HOPE and become weaker. However, there are certain exceptions where poor physical health influences the HOPE stat as well (Red has a combination of both of these factors). When HOPE falls too low, a monster may begin the Falling Down process. Typically, the process first manifests in sluggishness, a bleaker outlook and maybe even sad or nihilistic talk. Following that, the affected monster will begin to cough. This is the most noticeable symptom, and the most cause for alarm. The monster will begin to cough up dust and become fatigued. They will be bedridden until they either recover (unlikely by this point) or complete the Falling Down process and dust.

- Magic can be equated to heat, in most cases. Monsters’ bodies are generally hotter than human bodies by nature, especially if they have good magic control and/or depending on their type (fire elementals and dragons tend to be the hottest, lizards and water elementals tend to be cooler, etc). Poor magic control or poor conditions resulting in a lack of food can cause monster bodies to be unhealthy and cool/cold. For example, in Horrorfell, when the starvation is rampant, the Sans, Arum, may feel ill and be cold to the touch.

- Shielding the soul (as done in Lust verses) prevents most attacks from doing real damage and bringing down HP, most notably physical damage. An extreme amount and certain magical attacks can still cause damage, and severe duress can cause the monster in question to drop their shield.

How can monsters consciously wield magic?

- Different types of monsters tend to use different types of magic, and this is based on lineage, environment, and personal preference. Intent is very important, but not everything. For example, although most monsters have the inherent ability to wield green magic (healing magic), their ability to wield it varies. My Papyri tend to be better at it than my Sanses, mainly due to empathy reasons (higher empathy makes for easier healing) and sometimes due to bodily reasons (Red has a combination of finding difficulty in truly empathizing, and also being stunted in specific magics for biological reasons, green magic included).

- Colors match magic types in some cases, and sometimes correlate to soul colors, but not always.

- Cyan magic (or blue attacks) correlate to patience and require patience to counter. Light blue attacks harm you if you move through them, and are harmless if you stay still. A monster can cast light blue magic on their soul to make all incoming attacks harmless while they are motionless, for a short period of time. Several types of monsters can use light blue attacks, generally skeletons and (??? I'll think of this later) can use cyan magic.

- Orange magic (or attacks) correlate to bravery. Orange attacks harm you if you are still, and are harmless if you charge through them. Orange magic, on the other hand, turns a soul orange and causes the bearer of that soul to have increased inertia when moving. A monster can cast this on themself to move quickly, or an enemy to make it harder to turn and stop in a fight. Many types of monsters can use orange attacks. Generally, goats and sometimes fire elementals use orange magic.

- Dark blue magic correlates to integrity (albeit in a roundabout way). Typically this magic is solely used by skeletons. Dark blue magic is cast on an enemy to increase the gravity on the enemy, making it difficult for them to move around and jump. The wielder can move the enemy around and throw them into traps and attacks. Monsters cannot use blue magic on themselves, only others.

- Purple magic correlates to Perseverance in a roundabout way. It is sticky and can trap enemies in place or slow them down. Purple magic halfway functions as attacks, in that they are produced in the body and shot at someone, and halfway functions as as orange or blue magic, in that it doesn't directly deal damage, but instead causes an effect on the body and/or soul. Purple magic is generally used by spiders and (??? I'll think of this later).

- Green magic correlates strongly with kindness. It is healing magic. It can be used either in the form of bullet patterns or by direct contact. The second method generally involves the healer placing their hands on the patient's chest and either at the forehead or near/hovering above the wound, for magic to reach both the physical damage and the soul. For this reason, green magic bullets do not heal much at a time, but green magic healing can heal as much at once as the wielder has energy for. Green magic is also cooked into monster food, for similar effects as healing (although eating does require consciousness, and being healed doesn't).

- A different type of green magic, green soul magic, functions similarly to blue magic. When cast, it traps the enemy in place. This is a very rare and strong magic which requires years of intense training and practice to hold for even a short period of time. No monster species in particular wields this magic due to its difficulty. Currently, Undyne and Gerson are the only known wielders, and even Undyne cannot hold it for more than a few turns at a time.

- Yellow magic correlates with justice. Generally, the wielder casts it on themself. This turns the soul to 'attack mode,’ allowing the wielder to use rapidfire bullet patterns aimed either straight ahead or straight at the enemy. This is a good strategy for monsters with slow-moving bullet patterns or questionable aim. Yellow magic can also be granted by a wielder to an ally to assist them in group battles. It is typically used by lizards, turtles, snails, and occasionally other slower-moving monsters as a balance to their typically lackluster movements which would otherwise put them at risk.

- Not much is known about red magic.

- Fire magic is typically used by fire elementals, dragons, and goats, but other types of monsters can learn it with practice. Fire magic is heavily tied to intent. It can be used as attacks with either bullet patterns or genuine burning fire, but it can also be used for simple warmth, or to cook. Food cooked with fire magic has an inherently comforting taste to all monsters and tends to be far more popular than other types of food.

- Weapons can be either physical or manifested. Physical weapons are harmless to dummies and ghosts, and are exactly the same as human weapons. Manifested weapons are extensions of a monster's magic. Typically, monsters can only make one type of weapon, and the amount of said weapon depends on their energy levels (e.g. Undynes can chuck dozens of spears when fighting fit, but not nearly so many when exhausted). The type of weapon depends on various factors, and is generally chosen subconsciously. They can be inherited (for example, the Lava Trident my alterfell Papyrus has was inherited by his father when he dealt a killing blow, despite not being a physical weapon). The color of the manifested weapon tends to match the wielder's magic color (note that most monsters’ magic color is arbitrary and not connected to soul traits. Skeletons are the exception. Undyne's spears are cyan but she ain't no Patience soul, nor does she use cyan attacks in battle). Most monsters can only make one weapon at a time, though a fair number may dual-wield. Manifested weapons can either weigh next to nothing, or the same as a physical weapon of the same type. This is generally up to the wielder's preference. One of my fell Sanses, Rav, is a pretty big exception to most of these limitations, as he has a special talent and trains in making several different types of manifested weapons, and has even gotten skilled enough to change their colors and intricately detail them.

- Other types of magic vary by monster type and are too numerous to explain. They can be explained on request.

Explain skeletons?

- Skeletons tend to have magic revolving around space (in the physics sense). Many skeletons are able to summon items from other areas, provided they are aware of said items and exactly where they are. For example, Red can summon a bottle of mustard from his stash, but when that stash runs out he has to put more mustard there to do so. Many skeletons also have the ability to teleport short distances, although this is a learned skill and generally those in the 'Sans’ role are more practiced in this for any number of reasons. Papyri are more than capable, they just typically don't know how. For example, my fellswap!Sans Howl learned out of necessity after being separated from his brother Daemon across the multiverse, and Vex is slowly but surely learning if only because he's tired of being left behind when Red wanders off. This ability requires both a knowledge of where one is and a knowledge of where one is going, generally meaning the wielder has to have been to an area at least once to later return there.

- Note that depending on the verse, I like the idea of the shortcut ability requiring entering one doorway and leaving another, meaning someone locked in a room cannot leave because there is no doorway to leave through. This is verse-specific and will be noted when in use.

- Due to the nature of ecto, certain skeletons are able to manifest extra body parts not connected to the body, in a similar way to summoning weapons. The best example of this is Gasters wielding extra, detatched hands. Red inherited this ability from his own Gaster, Erebus (though he's unaware that's the reason he's able to do this).

- Speaking of ecto, the explanation is as follows: given that skeletons are biologically very humanoid and their bodies themselves use very little magic (the bare-bones, if you will), skeletons have a unique ability to shape and use extra magic as a vaguely jelly-like substance called ecto. Ghosts can also do this. Ecto is approximately as firm and smooth as flesh, although it is slightly less textured and weighs less. It has a bit of give, sort of like chub on humans, but maintains its shape better than flesh (e.g. ecto breasts remain shapely and don't sag like human breasts). Generally speaking, maintaining ecto for a short period of time is very easy and requires very little magic, but using it long-term can eat up magic quicker and require bigger or more frequent meals to maintain. In example, a skeleton wearing some ecto hair while out and about but releasing it at home or at night is not very magic-consuming, but a skeleton wearing full-body ecto almost 24/7 needs to eat and/or sleep more to maintain their ecto and still be able to use magic for other things. This is why, for example, my lustfell!Sans, Jazz, is very fit and healthy but still naps a lot when they can, because they use full-body ecto every second of not being home. Ecto will be the same color as manifested weapons and other magic color, and in skeletons, it typically relates to the matching soul trait.

- As a side note, skeletons are the most obvious example of magic having smells and tastes specific to the monster. Most types have similar tastes due to the more concrete bodies (e.g. dogs all taste the same, fire elementals mostly taste the same, etc), but skeletons, primarily using ecto which is more raw magic, have unique individual tastes and scents.

- Limb detachment is a natural thing for skeletons, and is painless. Due to the nature of magic flow, however, detached limbs cannot move on their own or perform any magical functions. They can be damaged, and hurt the skeleton, and skeletons will be able to vaguely feel other sensations the limb is feeling. Skeletons regulate their body easily enough as older children, teens, and adults, but very young children are not able to do this. As such, babybones’ limbs may detach without warning and require a parent/adult to reattach them. Skeleton newborns need to constantly be touching or very physically close to a parent, because that parent gives off a steady sphere of magic to hold the baby bodies together. Being left alone for too long will result in the newborn's body falling apart entirely, and while it can be fixed if caught immediately, this can lead to death rather quickly. 

- Skeleton children develop language faster than other young children, which makes up for their weaker physical states. This is the basis behind typeface names. Skeletons have official names reflecting the handwriting and speech they learn from a young age. Type is determined by the skeleton's vocal range, intensity of speech (or how much conviction their voice holds, in other words), handwriting, formality, and even, to a much lesser extent, general body shape. The parents choose the typeface their child is, hold a naming ceremony, and thereafter teach the child to perfectly hone their handwriting to the exact correct typeface. Namedays are substituted for birthdays.

- Skeletons don't need to breathe necessarily, but it helps ventilate magic and most are used to doing it anyway. Thus, the sensation of being unable to breathe typically causes a skeleton to pass out after approximately the same amount of time it takes for a human to pass out, but with no lasting ill effects. This can be subverted with the right mindset, i.e. coaching oneself on it while swimming.

How does magic dilute over time?

- Assume a pureblood human and a pureblood monster mate and have a child. That child will, usually, have an appearance that is pretty evenly half-monster, half-human. This may, however, manifest in one of two ways. The more common way is a natural blend of both features. A mostly humanoid body with accents of the monster species. A half dog monster may have ears, a tail, paws, and fur, or a half bird monster may have talons for feet and wings for arms, and so on. The less common way is a child that can switch between two forms at will (or unintentionally while young). This has only been observed with half skeletons, but by no means is it common (in other words I like this idea and may use it for specific verses but generally don't). In both cases, the soul is shaped like a monster's but colored like a human's.

- With the first instance, assume the half-human half-monster child then mates with another human. Their child is more humanoid with less monster traits. Long-term exposure to magic will encourage the child's monster traits to be prominent even so, but lack of exposure will make these traits lessen. This child's soul functions and looks completely human. This continues down the generations, assuming no monsters are reintroduced to the line. After enough generations (maybe five or six), the monster part of the heritage essentially becomes dormant without magic practice, but not gone. A distant descendant may naturally become a mage, or may be unable to perform magic (or know their heritage) without being exposed to it much like regular humans.

- Assuming the half-human half-monster child goes on to mate a monster, the grandchild retains a vaguely humanoid body and soul color, while keeping a monster soul shape and with monster features winning out over human ones. Assuming the generations continue to only mate with monsters, humanoid traits become less and less frequent. Soul color will continue to be human for up to about a dozen generations, well past all human bodily features being erased. Continued mixed heritage, with humans and monsters both adding in to the family line, will result in children who remain roughly the same as half children, give or take depending on the specifics.

What other magic varieties are present?

- Aside from the color magic, fire magic, and skeleton magic previously covered, magic tends to either be element-based (water, fire, electricity, air, etc) or attribute-based (increase of strength, speed, flexibility, enhancement of weapons, etc). Rarely, there are special types of magic connected to certain actions or mindsets that are vaguely extrasensory in nature, such as increased empathy, telepathy or telekinesis, prophetic abilities, etc. These are very rare and typically occur due to extenuating circumstances (i.e. swap!Papyrus Prise's piano-accented seer powers are due to a mild void connection).

How is intent involved with magic?

- In most cases, intent is very important (but not everything). A complete lack of intent to hurt generally renders attacks harmless, but even the faintest hint of irritation or frustration can be read as intent and wind up hurting someone despite more conscious thought. Very, very few monsters have the ability to confidently spar and know no hits will land (Vex is the only known one at the moment). Likewise, intent to heal does not always mean one can efficiently use healing magic (as observed in Red's case). But in more general terms, intent can mean the difference between, for example, a fire meant to hurt, and cooking fire that is harmless. Fire elementals generally practice this with their own bodies. Intent to defend or harm can make their entire body burning to the touch, in stark contrast to how intent to comfort makes the entire body seeming only as warm as standing nearby a pleasant hearth fire, even if the other person is cuddled close or even being intimate.

- Intent is also the means to control other types of magic, and how they affect the other person. For example, when a skeleton uses blue magic on someone's soul, intent can decide whether the grip is just a small presence, even comforting, or the grip is tight to the point of pain. This is similar to how error!Sans Dox’s strings can wrap around a soul and yank painfully, or can be a comforting weight to someone he loves.

- In the same vein, for another example, Prise can use his intent to decide what his seer powers provide him when he sits down at the piano. Initial observation of this power was simply sitting to play while wondering what type of run his human would do, and he would get a matching 'hunch.’ He later was able to use this ability to influence and soothe bad dreams of those he cared for, and was eventually able to manifest light shows while performing. It is expected that, with further training, he will become even more prophetic.

EXP and LV: how are they measured?

- There is a better grasp on LV than there is on EXP (read: I don't tend to specify EXP because the numbers get too high). LV is gained through killing, obviously, but the circumstances surrounding the killing affect the amount of EXP and LV gained.

- Killing people whom you don't care about, for example, nets you slightly less EXP and LV than killing people whom you hate, and that nets you FAR less than killing people whom you love. For example, a dust Sans will probably gain several LV just from killing their Papyrus, due to their bond. But the relative neutrality of most other members of the underground evens out so most Dusts still wind up with the set 20 at the end.

- Killing children, in general, tends to give you more EXP and LV, because it takes a special kind of cruelty to perform the act. Even more so with babies. Killing animals doesn't tend to give one EXP or LV, or at least not as much as killing humans or monsters. For example, hunters and those who humanely kill animals for food would gain little if any. However, if one were to cruelly kill an animal, such as a pet or with torture, one would gain more.

- The effects of LV on the soul may vary a little, but generally speaking, the more LV one has, the more emotionally closed-off someone is, especially a monster. LV is the soul's way of protecting itself from the guilt and horror of performing such acts on other living things with souls. After all, a monster is made of love, hope, and compassion. Without the protective numbness of LV, a monster that has killed too much would likely die of sheer emotion.

- Anger is one of the few emotions that is not stifled from LV, and in fact tends to be inflated. High-LV monsters can snap and become enraged far easier than those with low or no LV. Sexual desire is also not stifled, though it isn't magnified, at least not by a lot (excepting in rare cases).

- Some monsters at high LV experience brief episodes of all-encompassing anger and agitation. These can come on due to a specific trigger, stress, or simply after a certain period of time since the last one. For example, Rav is triggered by screams. They give him headaches and cause him to snap almost immediately. When he is in the throes of an LV attack, his mind is made up of unbearable screams from the people he's killed, and he has to exhaust himself physically or be restrained by his brother to make it stop.

- LV shock occurs when a person obtains too much LV within a very short period of time. This typically happens to Dust!Sanses. They go through a period of a few weeks where they feel absolutely nothing, their soul in overdrive protective mode. They giggle uncontrollably when faced with something that would usually upset them, and become extremely jumpy and quick to attack. When this wears off, there is a brief period of uncontrollable emotional, and sometimes physical, pain. Screaming and crying are common. This lasts for a few hours, before the soul finally evens out emotionally and the LV functions properly.

- LV can go down, but it is a slow and generally difficult process. It requires the person in question to trust and love and open themself to unconditional love, without fear of backlash. Even with this process, LV tends to have certain marker levels that, once past, cannot be reduced beyond. For example, LV raised past 10 cannot typically go below 10 again. The same with 20, and possibly 30.

- Ingestion of magic from a very high-LV monster (20 or more) by a low-LV monster, sexually or otherwise, causes symptoms similar to being drunk or high. The excessive energy in LV-saturated magic causes the ingester to feel dizzy, super-energized, a little giddy, and an intense desire to ingest more of the drug-like magic. The effects usually last a few hours, then lead to a crash, sudden exhaustion and usually unconsciousness. The desire to ingest more can last for a few weeks, and depending on the amount ingested, the person may feel withdrawal symptoms consisting of shakiness, mild nausea, lethargy, and headache.

Other random stuff that didn't fit anywhere else (some of these are lewd or squicky, but I will try to keep from being too graphic or specific)

- Monsters do not digest food like humans. Magic food is absorbed almost instantly. Human food is partially absorbed instantly, and partially lingers to be slowly absorbed. At no point do monsters urinate or defecate.

- However, monsters can throw up. Severe nausea or disgust triggers magic to sour, which then must be expelled. The concoction is foul-smelling and almost entirely liquid. Poor Red is squeamish about blood and has a few problems when exposed to lots of it.

- Lust is spread by the ingestion or absorption of magic from a Lustie. This includes oral and penetrative sex. Even scissoring leads to small amounts of absorption, which is enough to contract the disease. Condoms, strap-ons, and abstinence are the only ways to prevent spread. Humans can get Lust, but can generally go for longer periods without severe repercussions due to the strength of their souls.

- Dance verse monsters rely on the beat of music for attacks. A person that does not understand this and does not move to the beat will miss and be hit more. However, complete soul-syncing to the same beat, as opposed to simple following, is intimate and done only with family and mates. The combination of physical contact, complete soul syncing, and a manifestation of both souls (even if they don't touch) is seen as lewd and not proper for public dancing.

- All souls have a song, or at least a beat/melody. That song or beat may change due to extreme events in one's life, positive or negative. For example, soulbonding causes both monster's souls to gain some of their partner's.

- When it comes to monsters that manifest genitals, such as skeletons and elementals, most can choose one, the other, or both at will. However, some few are stuck with one form regardless of attempt to switch to the other (this is rare and mostly for my own amusement. For example, I failed rolls to allow Rav to go female enough times that I decided he is incapable).

- Most monsters and humans see a name, ATK, DEF, relative HP as a percentage, and a quick, short narration on a check. Sans types also see exact HP, and LV. Certain outcodes, such as errors and some voidlings, can see the binary makeup of the person.

- Most monster pregnancies tend to last for roughly 4 months, with each trimester being roughly 5-6 weeks. They demonstrate similar symptoms as human women, including morning sickness, weird cravings, mood swings, and soreness. There are three ways monsters reproduce. Human-style, soul pregnancies (where the new soul grows within the mother's), and asexual reproduction.

- The void is a tangible, almost sentient thing. Once one has been lost to it, for example a Gaster, there are certain things that cannot be given back. Returned Gasters tend to maintain a certain goopiness, even some melted and then re-hardened parts. Attempts to take from the void result in loss, much like human transmutation in FMA. For example, horrorfell!Sans, Arum, attempted to reach into the void to get his father back. His machine as incomplete, his attempts unsuccessful, and the void not only physically tore a hole in his head, but also took certain memories and some of his autonomy. He now suffers from periods of partial or total memory loss, and periods of catatonia.

- Magic collars function much the same as in @kamari333 verses and Ain’t This The Life. That is, they have tracking, protective magic, and a varying degree of emotion transfer depending on the collared one's wishes.

- In terms of soulbonding, humans have been observed to be able to bond to multiple different monsters, provided the bonding process is done one at a time. There has been no recorded instance of one monster bonding with more than one other person. General belief is that monster souls are not strong enough to split twice for this purpose. However, this has not been tested.

- KR tends to manifest in souls that have some measure of Justice in them. However, some Sanses without Justive have been observed to have KR also. KR is not explicitly tied to being a Judge, but it is the general consensus that a Judge has KR. Not all timelines have the type of entity-based Judge that ATTL has (I.e. I like the idea of a Judge-entity that possesses someone in the timeline, but have only used it in one or two verses. In most others, being a judge is simply being the 'Sans' part and doing the final hallway thing).

- Humans or skeletons can, due to dire circumstances, experience a shift in soul color. The process is typically painful, and may last anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks. Magic type may or may not shift. For example, a human that becomes orange may possibly gain the ability to use orange magic to move at fast speeds.

- There are only a few different monster languages. Common is English, Hands is ASL (and can be signed, spoken, or written, the spoken or written are Wing Dings and really only used by skeletons). There is an elemental language, with different dialects for the different types of elemental. Other than that, monsters don't have any unique languages, though they are of course able to learn different human languages.

- Monsters don't tend to have access to meat. Most remain vegetarian when they reach the surface, either due to morals or a taste preference. Some will choose to start eating meat, however.

- More to be added as I think of it.

[quixsilver]

So I read online that there’s a part of the cell that’s actually called ectoplasm and it just sort of got me thinking on how that figures into ghost stuff until I ended up crafted a Frankenstein’s monsters of headcannons that I decided to post on the internet at 2am for no reason. Heavily inspired by jay Eaton’s ghost physics by Enjoy?

An essay no one asked for

Okay so in biology, ectoplasm is the clear outer part of cytoplasm in a cell. So if a ghost is comprised of ectoplasm that would make them giant cells or basically amoebas. They are however supposed to be dead things so from there I started building this web of bullshit.

In this head cannon, ghosts are an inter-dimensional species of entities that are almost indistinguishable from the single celled organisms called amoeba. Ghosts however do have several distinctions that highlight their dimensionally foreign properties such as the fact they do not posses any sort of substance comparable to endoplasm.

Ghosts are comprised of a sort of cytoplasm that has the non-granulated and clear properties of ectoplasm in regular amoeboid cells, thus bringing on the general term for the material “ectoplasm”. Ectoplasm has several anomalous properties because of the fact that it originates in an alternate dimension; it has the capacity to quantum tunnel (phenomenon where a particle passes through a potential barrier that it classically cannot surmount.) and contains microfilaments composed of an unknown material that can act as programmable matter, which is matter that has the ability to change its physical properties (shape, density,conductivity, optical properties, etc.) in a programmable fashion based upon user input. This programable matter has also been observed to be able to generate gravitons and thus manipulate the forces of gravity.

Ghosts in their unstable premature state have the appearance of an giant amoeba, being a gelatinous blob like entity with transparent qualities. Ectoplasm from the ghost zone is electroluminescent, this means a ghosts ectoplasm is constantly lit up as a result of their ecto-signature. They seem to function off of unstable pseudo-nucleus that will eventually give out and self destruct, causing the structure of the ghosts exterior to destabilize and thus the mass to fall apart. Because of this, ghosts require a source of memory to keep in a stable imitation or copy. Most ghosts however will never find a suitable donor of memory as there are no none sources of actual DNA in the ghost zone.

When introduced into the environment of this dimension, ghosts will seek out decaying organic material to “consume”. This is not done to gain energy for locomotion or any other process, but to gain the genetic memory of cells by more or less created a copy of the the DNA comprised of the ectoplasm’s programmable matter;ectomatter. This Ectoplasmic DNA is kept in an imitation of a nucleus known as the ghost’s “core”. The core carries an electric system that stimulates memories to keep them active. This self contained electric matrix is known as the ghost’s “ecto-signature”. Ghosts are able to create imprints of somatic memories in recently dead organisms, essentially allowing a certain portion of an organisms personal experiences, wants or ambitions to pass on to the ghost. After genetic memory has been gained and a stable form established ghosts will not seek out anymore decaying organic matter. Because the “DNA” is merely an imitation of actual DNA, ghosts do not have the capacity to remember things such as bone or muscle structures or interior organs, but these are not needed anyway. Instead, ghosts will adopt exterior features such as skin, nails, cartilage, and even hair.

They also adopt useless features such as a mouth that leads directly into the ectoplasmic mass and eyes that are not required to perceive light. Somatic memory of the ghost (the ghosts experiences, not the imprints) are stored in an imitation brain, that’s just as meaningless as it’s eyes or mouth. Things such as chemical processes or cellular reproduction do not occur instead a ghosts brain is only capable of simulating a single chemical emotion learned from imprint memory with the emotions typically being fear or anger as adrenaline is the most common chemical ghosts can simulate.

Ghosts are capable of absorbing new ectoplasm to increase mass. As a result, ghost have the ability to create a copy of themselves with excess ectoplasm. however this copy is incapable of prolonged existence because the memories they have are imitations of imitations. This is the beginning of a new ghosts “life cycle”. The copy will either imprint and become semi sentient or destabilize. Because the only components of a ghosts makeup are ectoplasm and programmable matter a ghost will never truly age or reach a point at which it is unable to function.

Ghosts “feed” through radio-synthesis or the capture and metabolism by organisms, of energy from ionizing radiation, analogously to photosynthesis. Ghosts can also feed off of actual chemicals such as adrenaline or serotonin.

Because of a ghosts limited range of intelligent function they would classified as semi sentient as they are not capable of pain or truly experiencing emotions. Their mindset is entirely focused on a sole emotion or even subject or activity that they learned off through random happenstance or the somatic memories of their imprint.

abilities of ghosts include:

Duplication: the ability to asexually create copies of themselves, typically with only a simplified copy of a ghosts core, mainly to achieve a purpose beneficial to the source. After which the copy will destabilize or go on to become an entirely new ghost.

phasing: a ghosts use of ectoplasm’s ability to quantum tunnel.

heightened senses are a result of the fact that a ghosts entire body acts as sensory organs, Being sensitive to vibrations, light, and chemical contact.

invisibility: is an ability that stems from a ghosts ability to absorb and interact with radiation around it, with light being a form of electromagnetic radiation that a ghost can manipulate. This light manipulation can also be used to appear human. the ability to manipulate electromagnetic radiation is also associated with a ghosts ability give its form different colors as ghosts exteriors are entirely comprised of the same material.

Ghost rays: plasma discharges are when a ghost absorb and pump a massive amount of thermal radiation into a small portion of their ectoplasmic mass until it disassociates into ions and separate the ectoplasm from themselves to direct at a target. The discharges behave in a manner similar to extremely hot ionized gases.

possession or “overshadowing” is the process in which a ghost will override an organisms brain function by overriding the nervous system with electricity from the ghosts ecto-signature. The ectoplasm mass of the ghost is condensed and phased into the organisms integumentary, muscular, and nervous systems. Prolonged possessions are generally not healthy for the host organism as the ghost forces itself onto the neurons of said organism. Faulty or incompetent possessions can cause permanent brain damage or even catatonia.

flight is the use of ectomatters ability to generate and manipulate gravitons

ghosts bodies are classified as amoebas and such limbs such as arms, legs and even heads are purely aesthetic because the cores memories require input to be comprehendible to the imprint sources senses, meaning ghosts are capable of body distortion also known in common amoebas as pseudopods, with the only limitation being that the mass needs to stay in one piece. It should be noted that body distortion is entirely different than duplicating as duplicating is when a ghost becomes two separate masses with their own cores.

Ghosts are only classified as amoeba because their general structure is incredibly similar. They are not however actual living organisms as they do not biologically age, traditionally reproduce or have actual physical DNA. They are merely imitations of actual organisms, spawned from other ghosts. they once existed as an actual species of reproducing amoeba that had a similar ability to create duplicates without physical stable nuclei, so the first ghosts imitated the DNA of the actual amoeba. Existing in the cycle of creation and imitation for millions of years with only occasional ghosts slipping through “portals” to imprint on organisms in this dimension. But the species of amoeba went extinct and thus the only source of new ghost now is the duplication of stable ghosts and imprinting in this dimension.

The ghost zone itself is actually a pocket dimension that exists between the fourth dimension (time) and the fifth dimension. Because the ghost zone exists outside the timeline, time works has varying affects in different parts of the ghost zone. It doesn’t follow the conventional laws of time in our dimension (third dimension). The ghost zone is entirely comprised of ectoplasmic particles the exist extremely far apart, similar to the state of outer space in this dimension. The ghost zone absorbs radiations across several dimension as the free floating ectoplasm carries an almost insignificant charge. The exact form of radiation is unknown but seems to be a previously undiscovered form of cross dimensional radiation. Because of ectoplasm’s ability to adopt new properties as a result of intelligent programming the ghost zone is full of structures and environments created, wether consciously or unconsciously by the ghosts themselves. As for actual environment, there’s an actual planet like structure orbiting the ghost zones version of a sun (a mass of ionized plasma similar to ecto-rays). The planet itself was struck by a large object, causing the planet to shatter into a cone like configuration. Momentum doesn’t seem to have affected the debris which still orbits in a synchronized fashion with the largest mass.

the destruction of the planet is what caused the extinction of the ghosts source species. And because of the extinction level event ghosts had to rely on solely imprinting on dead organic material.

I may do another essay about how Danny, portals and ghost weopons work.

[rhetoricandlogic]

B&N SFF ORIGINALS

“If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again,” by Zen Cho

/November 29, 2018 at 2:30 pm

Cover illustration and design by

Shirley Jackson

• Edited by Joel Cunningham

A hapless imugi is determined to attain the form of a full-fledged dragon and gain entry to the gates of heaven. For a long time, things don’t go well. Then, it meets a girl. The B&N Sci-Fi & Fantasy Blog presents an original short story by Campbell Award-nominated author Zen Cho.

You can also download this story for free to read on your Nook app or device.

If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again By Zen Cho

The first thousand years.

It was time. Byam was as ready as it would ever be.

As a matter of fact, it had been ready to ascend some 300 years ago. But the laws of heaven cannot be defied. If you drop a stone, it will fall to the ground—it will not fly up to the sky. If you try to become a dragon before your thousandth birthday, you will fall flat on your face, and all the other spirits of the five elements will laugh at you.

These are the laws of heaven.

But Byam had been patient. Now it would be rewarded.

It slithered out of the lake it had occupied for the past 100 years. The western shore had recently been settled by humans, and the banks had become cluttered with humans’ usual mess – houses, cultivated fields, bits of pottery that poked Byam in the side.

But the eastern side was still reserved to beasts and spirits. There was plenty of space for an imugi to take off.

The mountains around the lake said hello to Byam. (It was always safer to be polite to an imugi, since you never knew when it might turn into a dragon.) The sky above them was a pure light blue, dotted with clouds like white jade.

Byam’s heart rose. It launched itself into the air, the sun warm on its back.

I deserve this. All those years studying in dank caves, chanting sutras, striving to understand the Way…

For the first half-millennium or so, Byam could be confident of finding the solitude necessary for study. But more recently, there seemed to be more and more humans everywhere.

Humans weren’t all bad. You couldn’t meditate your way through every doctrinal puzzle, and that was where monks proved useful. Of course, even the most enlightened monk was wont to be alarmed by the sudden appearance of a giant snake wanting to know what they thought of the Sage’s comments on water. Still, you could usually extract some guidance from them, once they stopped screaming.

But spending too much time near humans was risky. If one saw you during your ascension, that could ruin everything. Byam would have moved when the humans settled by the lake, if not for the ample supply of cows and pigs and goats in the area. (Byam had grown tired of seafood.)

It wasn’t always good to have such abundance close to hand, though. Byam had been studying extra hard for the past decade in preparation for its ascension. Just last month, it had been startled from a marathon meditation session by an enormous growl.

Byam had looked around wildly. For a moment it thought it had been set upon, maybe by a wicked imugi—the kind so embittered by failure it pretended not to care about the Way, or the cintamani, or even becoming a dragon. But there was no one around, only a few fish beating a hasty retreat.

Then, another growl. It was coming from Byam’s own stomach. Byam recollected that it hadn’t eaten in about five years.

Some imugi fasted to increase their spiritual powers. But when Byam tried to get back to meditating, it didn’t work. Its stomach kept making weird gurgling noises. All the fish had been scared off, so Byam popped out of the water, looking for a snack.

A herd of cows was grazing by the bank, as though they were waiting for Byam.

It only intended to eat one cow. It wanted to keep sharp for its ascension. Dragons probably didn’t eat much. All the dragons Byam had ever seen were svelte, with perfect scales, shining talons, silky beards.

Unfortunately Byam wasn’t a dragon yet. It was hungry, and the cows smelled so good. Byam had one, and then another, and then a third, telling itself each time that this cow would be the last. Before it knew it, almost the whole herd was gone.

Byam cringed remembering this, but then put the memory away. Today was the day that would change everything. After today, Byam would be transformed. It would have a wish-fulfilling gem of its own—the glorious cintamani, which manifested all desires, cured afflictions, purified souls and water alike.

So high up, the air was thin, and Byam had to work harder to keep afloat. The clouds brushed its face damply. And—Byam’s heart beat faster—wasn’t that winking light ahead the glitter of a jewel?

Byam turned for its last look at the earth as an imugi. The lake shone in the sun. It had been cold, and miserable, and lonely, full of venomous water snakes that bit Byam’s tail. Byam had been dying to get away from it.

But now, it felt a swell of affection. When it returned as a dragon, it would bless the lake. Fish would overflow its banks. The cows and pigs and goats would multiply beyond counting. The crops would spring out of the earth in their multitudes…

A thin screechy noise was coming from the lake. When Byam squinted, it saw a group of little creatures on the western bank. Humans.

One of them was shaking a fist at the sky. “Fuck you, imugi!”

“Oh shit,” said Byam.

“Yeah, I see you! You think you got away with it? Well, you thought wrong!”

Byam lunged upwards, but it was too late. Gravity set its teeth in its tail and tugged.

It wasn’t just one human shouting, it was all of them. A chorus of insults rose on the wind:

“Worm! Legless centipede! Son of a bitch! You look like fermented soybeans and you smell even worse!”

Byam strained every muscle, fighting the pull of the earth. If only it had hawk’s claws to grasp the clouds with, or stag’s antlers to pierce the sky…

But Byam wasn’t a dragon yet.

The last thing it heard as it plunged through the freezing waters of the lake was a human voice shrieking:

“Serves you right for eating our cows!”

The second thousand years

If you wanted to be a dragon, dumb perseverance wasn’t enough. You had to have a strategy.

Humans had proliferated, so Byam retreated to the ocean. It was harder to get texts in the sea, but technically you didn’t need texts to study the Way, since it was inherent in the order of all things. (Anyway, sometimes you could steal scriptures off a turtle on a pilgrimage, or go onshore to ransack a monastery.)

But you had to get out of the water in order to ascend. It was impossible to exclude the possibility of being seen by humans, even in the middle of the ocean. It didn’t seem to bother them that they couldn’t breathe underwater; they still launched themselves onto the waves on rickety assemblages of dismembered trees. It was as if they couldn’t wait to get on to their next lives.

That was fine. If Byam couldn’t depend on the absence of humans, it would use their presence to its advantage.

It was heaven’s will that Byam should have failed the last time; if heaven wasn’t ready to accept Byam, nothing could change that, no matter how diligently it studied or how much it longed to ascend.

As in all things, however, when it came to ascending, how you were seen mattered just as much as what you did. It hadn’t helped back then that the lake humans had named Byam for what it was: no dragon, but an imugi, a degraded being no better than the crawling beasts of the earth.

But if, as Byam flashed across the sky, a witness saw a dragon… that was another matter. Heaven wasn’t immune to the pressures of public perception. It would have to recognise Byam then.

The spirits of the wind and water were too hard to bluff; fish were too self-absorbed; and there was no hope of hoodwinking the sea dragons. But humans had bad eyesight, and a tendency to see things that weren’t there. Their capacity for self-deception was Byam’s best bet.

It chose a good point in the sky, high enough that it would have enough cloud matter to work with, but not so high that the humans wouldn’t be able to see it. Then it got to work.

It labored at night, using its head to push together masses of cloud and its tail to work the fine detail. Byam didn’t just want the design to look like a dragon. Byam wanted it to be beautiful—as beautiful as the dragon Byam was going to be.

Making the sculpture was harder than Byam expected. Cloud was an intransigent medium. Wisps kept drifting off when Byam wasn’t looking. It couldn’t get the horns straight, and the whiskers were wonky.

Sometimes Byam felt like giving up. How could it make a dragon when it didn’t even know how to be one?

To conquer self-doubt, it chanted the aphorisms of the wise:

Nobody becomes a dragon overnight.

Real dragons keep going.

A dragon is only an imugi that didn’t give up.

It took 100 years longer than Byam had anticipated before the cloud was finished.

It looked like a dragon, caught as it sped across the sky to its rightful place in the heavens. In moonlight it shone like mother of pearl. Under the sun it would glitter with all the colors of the rainbow.

As Byam put its final touches on the cloud, it felt both pride and a sense of anti-climax. Even loss. Soon Byam would ascend—and then what would happen to its creation? It would dissipate, or dissolve into rain, like any other cloud.

Byam managed to find a monk who knew about shipping routes and was willing to dish in exchange for not being eaten. And then it was ready. As dawn unfolded across the sky on an auspicious day, Byam took its position behind its dragon-cloud.

All it needed was a single human to look up and exclaim at what they saw. A fleet of merchant vessels was due to come this way. Among all those humans, there had to be one sailor with his eyes on the sky—a witness open to wonder, prepared to see a dragon rising to glory.

§

“Hey, captain,” said the lookout. “You see that?”

“What is it? A sail?”

“No.” The lookout squinted at the sky. “That cloud up there, look. The one with all the colors.”

“Oh wow!” said the captain. “Good spot! That’s something special, for sure. It’s a good omen!”

He clapped the lookout on the back, turning to the rest of the crew. “Great news, men! Heaven smiles upon us. Today is our day!”

Everyone was busy with preparations, but a dutiful cheer rose from the ship.

The lookout was still staring upwards.

“It’s an interesting shape,” he said thoughtfully. “Don’t you think it looks like a… ”

“Like what?” said the captain.

“Like, um… ” The look-out frowned, snapping his fingers. “What do you call them? Forget my own head next! It looks like a – it’s on the tip of my tongue. I’ve been at sea for too long. Like a, you know – ”

§

Byam couldn’t take it anymore.

“Dragon!” it wailed in agony.

An imugi has enormous lungs. Byam’s voice rolled across the sky like thunder, its breath scattering the clouds—and blowing its creation to shreds.

“Horse!” said the lookout triumphantly. “It looks like a horse!”

“No no no,” said Byam. It scrambled to reassemble its sculpture, but the cloud matter was already melting away upon the winds.

“Thunder from a clear sky!” said the captain. “Is that a good sign or a bad sign?”

The lookout frowned. “You’re too superstitious, captain – hey!” He perked up, snatching up a telescope. “Captain, there they are!”

Byam had been so focused on the first ship that it hadn’t seen the merchant fleet coming. Then it was too busy trying to salvage its dragon-cloud to pay attention to what was going on below.

It was distantly aware of fighting between the ships, of arrows flying, of the screams of sailors as they were struck down. But it was preoccupied by the enormity of what had happened to it—the loss of hundreds of years of steady, hopeful work.

It wasn’t too late. Byam could fix the cloud. Tomorrow it would try again—

“Ah,” said the pirate captain, looking up from the business of slaughter. “An imugi! It’s good luck after all. One last push, men! They can’t hold out for long!”

It would have been easier if Byam could tell itself the humans had sabotaged it out of spite. But it knew they hadn’t. As Byam tumbled out of the sky, it was the impartiality of their judgment that stung the most.

The third thousand years

Dragons enjoyed sharing advice about how they’d gotten where they were. They said it helped to visualise the success you desired.

“Envision yourself with those horns, those whiskers, three claws and a thumb, basking in the glow of your own cintamani,” urged the Dragon King of the East Sea in his popular memoir Sixty Thousand Records of a Floating Life. “Close your eyes. You are the master of the elements! A twitch of your whisker and the skies open. At your command, blessings – or vengeance – pour forth upon all creatures under heaven! Just imagine!”

When Byam was low at heart, it imagined.

It got fed up of the sea: turtles kept chasing it around, and whale song disrupted its sleep. It moved inland, and found a quiet cave where it could study the Way undisturbed. The cave didn’t smell great, but it meant Byam never had to go far for food, so long as it didn’t mind bat. (Byam came to mind bat.) Byam focused on the future.

This time, there would be no messing around with dragon-clouds. Byam had learned from its mistakes. There was no tricking heaven. This time it would present itself at the gates with its record of honest toil, and hope to be deemed worthy of admission.

It should have been nervous, but in fact it was calm as it prepared for what it hoped would be its final attempt. Certainty glowed in its stomach like a swallowed ember.

It had been a long time since Byam had left its cave, which it had chosen because it was up among the mountains, far from any human settlement. Still, Byam intended to minimise any chance of disaster. It was going to shoot straight for the skies, making sure it was exposed to the judgment of the world for as brief a time as possible.

But the brightness outside took it aback. Its eyes weren’t used to the sun’s glare anymore. When Byam raised its head, it got caught in a sort of horrible basket, full of whispering voices. A storm of ticklish green scraps whirled around it.

It reared back, hissing, before it recognised what had attacked it. Byam had forgotten about trees.

It leapt into the air, shaken. To have forgotten trees… Byam had not realised it had been so long.

Its unease faded as it rose ever higher. The crisp airs of heaven blew away disquiet. Ahead, the clouds glowed as though they reflected the light of the Way.

§

Leslie almost missed it.

She never usually did this kind of thing. She was indoorsy the way some people were outdoorsy, as attached to her sofa as others were to endorphins and bragging about their marathon times. She’d never thought of herself as someone who hiked.

But she hadn’t thought of herself as someone who’d fail her PhD, or get dumped by her boyfriend for her best friend. The past year had blown the bottom out of her ideas about herself.

She paused to drink some water and heave for breath. The view was spectacular. It seemed meaningless.

She was higher up than she’d thought. What if she took the wrong step? Would it hurt much to fall? Everyone would think it was an accident…

She shook herself, horrified. She wouldn’t do anything stupid, Leslie told herself. To distract herself, she took out her phone, but that proved a bad idea: this was the point at which she would have texted Jung-wook before.

She could take a selfie. That’s what people did when they went hiking, right? Posted proof they’d done it. She raised her phone, switching the camera to front-facing mode.

She saw a flash in the corner of the screen. It was sunlight glinting off scales.

Leslie’s mouth fell open. It wasn’t—it couldn’t be. She hadn’t even known they were found in America.

The camera went off. Leslie whirled around, but the sky was empty. It was nowhere to be seen.

But someone up there was looking out for Leslie after all, because when she looked back at her phone, she saw that she’d caught it. It was there. It had happened. There was Leslie, looking dopey with her red face and her hair a mess and her mouth half-open—and in the background, arced across the sky like a rainbow, was her miracle. Her own personal sign from heaven that things were going to be OK.

§

leshangry Nature is amazing! #imugi #이무기 #sighting #blessed #여행스타그램 #자연 #등산 #nature #hiking #wanderlust #gooutside #snakesofinstagram

The turning of the worm

“Dr. Han?” said the novice. “Yeah, her office is just through there.”

Sure enough, the name was inscribed on the door in the new script the humans used now: Dr Leslie Han. Byam’s nemesis.

Its most recent nemesis. If it had been only one offence, Byam wouldn’t even be here. It was the whole of Byam’s long miserable history with humans that had brought it to this point.

It made itself invisible and passed through the door.

The monk was sitting at a desk, frowning over a text. Byam was not good at distinguishing one human from another, but this particular human’s face was branded in its memory.

It felt a surge of relief.

Even with the supernatural powers accumulated in the course of three millennia of studying the Way, it had taken Byam a while to figure out how to shapeshift. The legs had been the most difficult part. Byam kept giving itself tiger feet, the kind dragons had.

It could have concealed the feet under its skirts, since no celestial fairy ever appeared in anything less than three layers of silk. But Byam wouldn’t have it. It was pathetic, this harking back to its stupid dreams. It had worked at the spell until the feet came right. If Byam wasn’t becoming a dragon, it would not lower itself to imitation. No part of it would bear any of the nine resemblances.

But there were consolations available to imugi who reconciled themselves to their fate. Like revenge.

The human was perhaps a little older than when Byam had last seen her. But she was still alive—alive enough to suffer when Byam devoured her.

Byam let its invisibility fall away. It spread its hands, the better to show off its magnificent sleeves.

It was the human’s job that had given Byam the idea. Leslie Han was an academic, which appeared to be a type of monk. Monks were the most relatable kind of human, for like imugi, they desired one thing most in life: to ascend to a higher plane of existence.

“Leslie,” crooned Byam in the dulcet tones of a celestial fairy. “How would you like to go to heaven?”

The monk screamed and fell out of her chair.

When nothing else happened, Byam floated over to the desk, peering down at the monk.

“What are you doing down there?” began Byam, but then the text the monk had been studying caught its eye.

“Oh my God, you’re – ” The monk rubbed her eyes. “I didn’t think celestial fairies descended anymore! Did you – were you offering to take me to heaven?”

Byam wasn’t listening. The monk had to repeat herself before it looked up from the book.

“This is a text on the Way,” said Byam. It looked around the monk’s office. There were rows and rows of books. Byam said slowly, “These are all about the Way.”

The monk looked puzzled. “No, they’re about astrophysics. I’m a researcher. I study the evolution of galaxies.”

Maybe Byam had been dumb enough to believe it might some day become a dragon, but it knew an exegesis of the Way when it saw one. There were hundreds of such books here—more commentaries than Byam had seen in one place in its entire lifetime.

It wasn’t going to repeat its mistakes. Ascension, transcendence, turning into a dragon—that wasn’t happening for Byam. Heaven had made that clear.

But you couldn’t study something for 3,000 years without becoming interested in it for its own sake.

“Tell me about your research,” said Byam.

“What you said just now,” said the monk. “Did you not – ”

Byam showed its teeth.

“My research!” said the monk. “Let me tell you about it.”

Byam had planned to eat the monk when she was done. But it turned out the evolution of galaxies was an extremely complicated matter. The monk had not explained even half of what Byam wanted to know by the time the moon rose.

The monk took out a glowing box and looked at it. “It’s so late!”

“Why did you stop?” said Byam.

“I need to sleep,” said the monk. She bent over the desk. Byam wondered if this was a good moment to eat her, but then the monk turned and held out a sheaf of paper.

“What is this?”

“Extra reading,” said the monk. “You can come back tomorrow if you’ve got questions. My office hours are 3 to 4 pm on Wednesdays and Thursdays.”

She paused, her eyes full of wonder. She was looking at Byam as though it was special.

“But you can come any time,” said the monk.

§

Byam did the reading. It went back again the next day. And the next.

It was easier to make sense of the texts with the monk’s help. Byam had never had anyone to talk to about the Way before. Its past visits with monks didn’t count—Leslie screamed much less than the others. She answered Byam’s questions as though she enjoyed them, whereas the others had always made it clear they couldn’t wait for Byam to leave.

“I like teaching,” she said, when Byam remarked upon this. “I’m surprised I’ve got anything to teach you, though. I’d’ve thought you’d know all this stuff already.”

“No,” said Byam. It looked down at the diagram Leslie was explaining for the third time. Byam still didn’t get it. But if there was one thing Byam was good at, it was trying again and again.

Well. That had been its greatest strength. Now, who knew?

“It’s OK,” said Leslie. “You know things I don’t.”

“Hm.” Byam wasn’t so sure.

Leslie touched its shoulder.

“It’s impressive,” she said. “That you’re so open to learning new things. If I were a celestial fairy, there’s no way I’d work so hard. I’d just lie around getting drunk and eating peaches all day.”

“You have a skewed image of the life of a celestial fairy,” said Byam.

But it did feel better. No one had ever called it hardworking before. It was a new experience, feeling validated. Byam found it liked it.

Studying with Leslie involved many new experiences. Leslie was a great proponent of what she called fresh air. She dragged Byam out of the office regularly so they could inhale as much of it as possible.

“But there’s air inside,” objected Byam.

“It’s not the same,” said Leslie. “Don’t you get a little stir-crazy when you haven’t seen the sun in a while?”

Byam remembered the shock of emerging from its cave for the first time in 800 years.

“Yes,” it admitted.

Leslie was particularly fond of hiking, which was like walking, only you did it up a hill. Byam enjoyed this. In the past 3,000 years it had seen more of the insides of mountains than their outsides, and it turned out the outsides were attractive at human eye-level.

The mountains were still polite to Byam, as though there were still a chance it might ever become a dragon. This hurt, but Byam squashed the feeling down. It had made its decision.

It was on one of their hikes that Leslie brought up the first time they met. They weren’t far off the peak when she stopped to look into the distance.

Byam hadn’t realised at first—things looked so different from human height—but it recognised the place before she spoke. Leslie was staring at the very mountain that had been Byam’s home for 800 years.

“It’s funny,” she said. “The last time I was here…”

Byam braced itself. I saw an imugi trying to ascend, she was going to say. It faceplanted on the side of a mountain, it was hilarious!

“I was standing here wishing I was dead,” said Leslie.

“What?”

“Not seriously,” said Leslie hastily. “I mean, I wouldn’t have done anything. I just wanted it to stop.”

“What did you want to stop?”

“Everything,” said Leslie. “I don’t know. I was young. I was having a hard time. It all felt too much to cope with.”

Humans lived for such a short time anyway, it had never occurred to Byam that they might want to hasten the end. “You don’t still…”

“Oh no. It was a while ago.” Leslie was still looking at Byam’s mountain. She smiled. “You know, I got a sign while I was up here.”

“A sign,” echoed Byam.

“It probably sounds stupid,” said Leslie. “But I saw an imugi. It made me think there might be hope. I started going to therapy. Finished my PhD. Things got better.”

“Good,” said Byam. It met Leslie’s eyes. She had never stopped looking at Byam as though it was special.

Leslie pressed her lips to Byam’s mouth.

Byam stayed still. It wasn’t sure what to do.

“Sorry. I’m sorry!” Leslie stepped back, looking panicked. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought maybe – of course we’re both women, but I thought maybe that didn’t matter to you guys. Or maybe you were even into – I was imagining things. This is so embarrassing. Oh God.”

Byam had questions. It picked just one to start with. “What were you doing? With the mouths, I mean.”

Leslie took a deep breath and blew it out. “Oh boy.” But the explanation proved to be straightforward.

“Oh, it was a mating overture,” said Byam.

“I – yeah, I guess you could put it that way,” said Leslie. “Listen, I’m sorry I even… I don’t want to have ruined everything. I care about you a lot, as a friend. Can we move on?”

“Yes,” Byam agreed. “Let’s try again.”

“Phew, I’m really glad you’re not – what?”

“I didn’t know what you were doing earlier,” explained Byam. “You should’ve said. But I’ll be better now I understand it.”

Leslie stared. Byam started to feel nervous.

“Do you not want to kiss?” it said.

“No,” said Leslie. “I mean, yes?”

She reached out tentatively. Byam squeezed her hand. It seemed to be the right thing to do, because Leslie smiled.

“OK,” she said.

§

After a while Byam moved into Leslie’s apartment. It had been spending the nights off the coast, but the waters by the city smelled of diesel and the noise from the ships made its sleep fitful. Leslie’s bed was a lot more comfortable than the watery deeps.

Living with her meant Byam had to be in celestial fairy form all the time, but it was used to it by now. At Leslie’s request, it turned down the heavenly glow.

“You don’t mind?” said Leslie. “Humans aren’t used to the halo.”

“Nah,” said Byam. “It’s not like I had the glow before.” It froze. “I mean… in heaven, everyone is illuminated, so you stop… noticing it?”

Fortunately, Leslie wasn’t listening. She had opened an envelope and was staring at the letter in dismay.

“He’s raising the rent again! Oh, you’re fucking kidding me.” She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “I need to get out of this city.”

“What is rent?” said Byam.

Which was how Byam ended up getting a job. Leslie tried to discourage it at first. Even once Byam wore her down and she admitted it would be helpful if Byam also paid “rent,” she seemed to think it was a problem that Byam was undocumented.

That was an explanation that took an extra long time. The magic to invent the necessary records was simple in comparison.

“‘Byam’,” said Leslie, studying its brand-new driver’s licence. “That’s an interesting choice.”

“It’s my name,” said Byam absently. It was busy magicking up an immunization history.

“That’s your name?” said Leslie. She touched the driver’s licence with reverent fingers. “Byam.”

She seemed unaccountably pleased. After a moment she said, “You never told me your name before.”

“Oh,” said Byam. Leslie was blushing. “You could have asked!”

Leslie shrugged. “I didn’t want to force it. I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”

“It’s not because – I would’ve told you,” said Byam. “I just didn’t think of it. It’s not my real name.”

The light in Leslie’s face dimmed. “It’s not?”

“I mean, it’s the name I have,” said Byam. It should never have set off down this path. How was it going to explain about dragon-names—the noble, elegant styles, full of meaning and wit, conferred on dragons upon their ascension? Leslie didn’t even know Byam was an imugi. She thought Byam had already been admitted to the gates of heaven.

“I’m only a low-level attendant,” it said finally. “When I get promoted, I’ll be given a real name. One with a good meaning. Like ‘Establish Virtue,’ or ‘Jade Peak,’ or ‘Sunlit Cloud.’”

“Oh,” said Leslie. “I didn’t know you were working towards a promotion.” She hesitated. “When do you think you’ll get promoted?”

“In 10,000 years’ time,” said Byam. “Maybe.”

This was a personal joke. Leslie wasn’t meant to get it, and she did not. She only gave Byam a thoughtful look. She dropped a kiss on its forehead, just above its left eyebrow.

“I like ‘Byam,’” she said. “It suits you.”

§

They moved out of the city to the outskirts, where the rent was cheaper and they could have more space. Leslie got a cat, which avoided Byam but eventually stopped hissing at its approach. Leslie went running on the beach in the mornings while Byam swam.

She introduced Byam to those of her family who didn’t object to the fact that Byam appeared to be a woman. These did not include Leslie’s parents, but there was a sister named Jean, and a niece, Eun-hye, whom Byam taught physics.

Tutoring young humans in physics was Byam’s first job, but sometimes it forgot itself and taught students the Way, which was not helpful for exams. After a narrowly averted disaster with the bathroom in their new apartment, Byam took a plumbing course.

It turned out Byam was good at working with pipes—better, perhaps, than it had ever been at understanding the Way.

At night, Byam still dreamt of the past. Or rather, it dreamt of the future—the future as Byam had envisioned it, once upon a time. They were impossible, ecstatic dreams—dreams of scything through the clouds, raindrops clinging to its beard; dreams of chasing the cintamani through the sea, its whiskers floating on a warm current.

When Byam woke up, its face wet with salt-water, Leslie was always there.

§

Byam got home one night and knew something was wrong. It could tell from the shape of Leslie’s back. When she realised it was there, she raised her head, wiping her face and trying to smile.

“What happened?” said Byam.

“I’ve been – ” The words got stuck. Leslie cleared her throat. “I didn’t get tenure.”

Byam had learned enough about Leslie’s job by now to understand what this meant. Not getting tenure was worse than falling when you were almost at the gates of heaven. It sat down, appalled.

“Would you like me to eat the committee for you?” it suggested.

Leslie laughed. “No.” The syllable came out on a sob. She rubbed her eyes. “Thanks, baby, but that wouldn’t help.”

“What would help?”

“Nothing,” said Leslie. Then, in a wobbly voice, “A hug.”

Byam put its arms around Leslie, but it seemed poor comfort for the ruin of all her hopes. It felt Leslie underestimated the consolation she was likely to derive from the wholesale destruction of her enemies. But this was not the time to argue.

Byam remembered the roaring in its ears as it fell, the shock of meeting the ground.

“Sometimes,” it said, “you try really hard and it’s not enough. You put in all you’ve got and you still never get where you thought you were meant to be. But at least you tried. Some people never try. They resign themselves to bamboozling monks and devouring maidens for all eternity.”

“Doesn’t sound like a bad life,” said Leslie, with another of those ragged laughs. But she kissed Byam’s shoulder, to show that she didn’t think the life of a wicked imugi had any real appeal.

After Leslie cried some more, she said, “Is it worth it? The trying, I mean.”

Byam had to be honest. The only thing that could have made falling worse was if someone had tried to convince Byam it hadn’t sucked.

“I don’t know,” it said.

It could see the night sky through the windows. Usually the lights and pollution of the city blanked out the sky, but tonight there was a single star shining, like the cintamani did sometimes in Byam’s dreams.

“Maybe,” said Byam.

Leslie said, “Why aren’t you trying to become a dragon?”

Byam froze. “What?”

Leslie wriggled out of its arms and turned to face it. “Tell me you’re still working towards it and I’ll shut up.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Byam, terrified. “I’m a celestial fairy. What do dragons have to do with anything? They are far too noble and important to have anything to say to a lowly spirit like me –”

“Byam, I know you’re not a celestial fairy.”

“No, I am, I – ” But Byam swallowed its denials at the look on Leslie’s face. “What gave it away?”

“I don’t know much about celestial fairies,” said Leslie. “But I’m pretty sure they don’t talk about eating senior professors.”

Byam gave her a look of reproach. “I was trying to be helpful!”

“It wasn’t just that…”

“Have you told Jean and Eun-hye?” Byam bethought itself of the other creature that was important in their lives. “Did you tell the cat? Is that why it doesn’t like me?”

“I’ve told you, I can’t actually talk to the cat,” said Leslie. (Which was a blatant lie, because she did it all the time, though it was true they had strange conversations, generally at cross-purposes.) “I haven’t told anyone. But I couldn’t live with you for years and not know, Byam. I’m not completely stupid. I was hoping you’d eventually be comfortable enough to tell me yourself.”

Byam’s palms were damp. “Tell you what? ‘Oh yeah, Les, I should’ve mentioned, I’m not an exquisite fairy descended from heaven like you always thought. Actually I’m one of the eternal losers of the unseen world. Hope that’s OK!'”

“Hey, forgive me for trying to be sensitive!” snapped Leslie. “I don’t care what you are, Byam. I know who you are. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Who I am?” said Byam. It was like a rock had lodged inside its throat. It was hard to speak past it. “An imugi, you mean. An earthworm with a dream.”

“An imugi changed my life,” said Leslie. “Don’t talk them down.”

Though it was incredible, it seemed it was true she didn’t mind, and wasn’t about to dump Byam for being the embodiment of pathetic failure.

“I just wish you’d trusted me,” she said.

Her eyes were tender, and worried, and red. They reminded Byam that it was Leslie who had just come crashing down to earth.

Byam clasped its hands to keep them from shaking. It took a deep breath. “I’m not a very good girlfriend.”

Leslie understood what it was trying to say. She put her arm around Byam.

“Sometimes,” she said. “Mostly you do OK.”

“I wasn’t good at being an imugi either,” said Byam. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It wasn’t like the name. This, I didn’t want you to know.”

“Why not?”

“If you’re an imugi, everyone knows you’ve failed,” explained Byam. “It’s like wearing a sign all the time saying ‘I’ve been denied tenure.'”

This proved a bad comparison to make. Leslie winced.

“Sorry,” said Byam. It paused. “It hurts. Knowing it wasn’t enough, even when you gave it the best of yourself. But you get over it.”

You get used to being a failure. It was too early to tell her that. Maybe Leslie would be lucky. Maybe she’d never have the chance to get used to it.

Leslie looked like she was thinking of saying something, but she changed her mind. She squeezed Byam’s knee.

“I’m thinking of going into industry,” said Leslie.

Byam had no idea what she meant.

“You would be great at that,” it said, meaning it.

§

It turned out Byam was right: Leslie was great at working in industry, and her success meant they could move into a bigger place, near Leslie’s sister. This worked out well—after Jean’s divorce, they helped out with Eun-hye, who perplexed Byam by declaring it her favourite aunt.

A mere 10 years after Leslie had been denied tenure, she was saying it had been a blessing in disguise: “I would never have known there was a world outside academia.”

They had stopped talking about dragons by then. Leslie had gotten over her fixation with them.

“I’m fixated?” she’d said. “You’re the one who worked for thousands of years – ”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Byam had said. When this didn’t work, it simply started vanishing whenever Leslie brought it up. Eventually, she stopped bringing it up.

Over time, she seemed to forget what Byam really was. Even Byam started to forget. When Leslie found her first white hair, Byam grew a few too, to make her feel better. Wrinkles were more challenging; it could never seem to get quite the right number. (“You look like a sage,” said Leslie, when she was done laughing at its first attempt. “I’m only 48!”)

Byam’s former life receded into insignificance, the thwarted yearning of its earlier days nearly effaced.

The years went by quickly.

§

Leslie didn’t talk much these days. It tired her, as everything tired her. She spent most of her time asleep, the rest looking out of the window. She didn’t often tell Byam what was going through her head.

So it was a surprise when she said, without precursor:

“Why does the yeouiju matter so much?”

It took a moment before Byam understood what she was talking about. It hadn’t thought of the cintamani in years. But then the surge of bitterness and longing was as fresh as ever, even in the midst of its grief.

“It’s in the name, isn’t it?” said Byam. “’The jewel that grants all wishes.’”

“Do you have a lot of wishes that need granting?”

Byam could think of some, but to tell Leslie about them would only distress her. It wasn’t like Leslie wanted to die.

Before, Byam had always thought that humans must be used to dying, since they did it all the time. But now it had got to know them better, it saw they had no idea how to deal with it.

This was unfortunate, because Byam didn’t know either.

“I guess I just always imagined I’d have one some day,” it said. It tried to remember what it had felt like before it had given up on becoming a dragon and acquiring its own cintamani. “It was like… if I didn’t have that hope, life would have no meaning.”

Leslie nodded. She was still gazing out of the window. “You should try again.”

“Let’s not worry about it now – ”

“You have thousands of years,” said Leslie. “You shouldn’t just give up.” She looked Byam in the eye. “Don’t you still want to be a dragon?”

Byam would have liked to say no. It was unfair of Leslie to awaken all these dormant feelings in it at a time when it already had too many feelings to contend with.

“Eun-hye should be here soon,” it said. Leslie’s niece was almost the same age Leslie had been when Byam had first come to her office with murder in its heart. Eun-hye had a child herself now, which still seemed implausible to Byam. “She’s bringing Sam, won’t that be nice?”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m an old person,” said Leslie, annoyed. “I’m dying, not decrepit. Come on, Byam. I thought repression was a human thing.”

“That shows how much you know,” said Byam. “When you’ve been a failure for 3,000 years, you get good at repressing things!”

“I’m just saying –”

“I don’t know why you’re – ” Byam scrubbed its face. “Am I not good enough as I am?”

“Of course you’re good enough,” said Leslie. “If you’re happy, then that’s fine. But you should know you can be anything you want to be. That’s all. I don’t want you to let fear hold you back.”

Byam was silent.

Leslie said, “I only want to know you’ll be OK after I’m dead.”

“I wish you’d stop saying that,” said Byam.

“I know.”

“I don’t want you to die.”

“I know.”

Byam laid its head on the bed. If it closed its eyes it could almost pretend they were home, with the cat snoozing on Leslie’s feet.

After a while it said, without opening its eyes, “What’s your next form going to be?”

“I don’t know,” said Leslie. “We don’t get told in advance.” She grinned. “Maybe I’ll be an imugi.”

“Don’t say such things,” said Byam, aghast. “You haven’t been that bad!”

This made Leslie laugh, which made her cough, so Byam called the nurse, and then Eun-hye came with her little boy, so there was no more talk of dragons, or cintamani, or reversing a pragmatic surrender to the inevitable.

That night the old dreams started again—the ones where Byam was a dragon. But they were a relief compared to the dreams it had been having lately.

It didn’t mention them to Leslie. She would only say, “I told you so.”

§

For a long moment after Byam woke, it was confused. The cintamani still hung in the air before it. Then it blinked and the orb revealed itself to be a lamp by the hospital bed.

Leslie was awake, her eyes on Byam. “Hey.”

Byam wiped the drool from its cheek, sitting up. “Do you want anything? Water, or – ”

“No,” said Leslie. Her voice was thin, a mere thread of sound. “I was just watching you sleep like a creeper.”

But then she paused. “There is something, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to.”

“If there’s anything I can give you,” said Byam, “you’ll get it.”

Still Leslie hesitated.

“Could I see you?” she said finally. “In your true form, I mean.”

There was a brief silence. Leslie said, “If you don’t want to…”

“No, it’s fine,” said Byam. “Are you sure you won’t be scared?”

Leslie nodded. “It’ll still be you.”

Byam looked around the room. There wasn’t enough space for its real form, so it would have to make more space. But that was a simple magic.

It hadn’t expected the sense of relief as it expanded into itself. It was as though for several decades it had been wearing shoes a size too small and had finally been allowed to take them off.

Leslie’s eyes were wide.

“Are you OK?” said Byam.

“Yes,” said Leslie, but she raised her hands to her face. Byam panicked, but before it could transform again, Leslie rubbed her eyes and said, “Don’t change back! I haven’t looked properly yet.”

Her eyes were wet. She studied Byam as though she was trying to imprint the sight onto her memory.

“I’d look better with legs,” said Byam shyly. “And antlers. And a bumpy forehead…”

“You’re beautiful.” Leslie touched Byam’s side. Her hand was warm. “It was you, wasn’t it? That day in the mountains.”

Byam shrank. It said, its heart in its mouth, “You knew?”

“I’ve known for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Guess I was waiting for you to tell me.” Leslie gave Byam a half-smile. “You know me, I hate confrontation. Anything to avoid a fight.”

“I should have told you,” said Byam. “I wanted to, I just…” It had never been able to work out how to tell Leslie its original plan had been to devour her in an act of misdirected revenge.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. Byam could only blame itself for its failures.

“You should’ve told me.” But Leslie didn’t seem mad. Maybe she just didn’t have the energy for it anymore.

“I’m sorry,” said Byam. Leslie held out her hand and it slid closer, letting her run her hand over its scales. “How did you figure it out?”

Leslie shrugged. “It made sense. You were always there when I needed you.” She patted Byam gently. “Can I ask for one more thing?”

“Anything,” said Byam. It felt soft and sad, bursting at the seams with melancholy love.

“Promise me you won’t give up,” said Leslie. “Promise me you’ll keep trying.”

It was like going in for a kiss and getting slapped in the face. Byam went stiff, staring at Leslie in outrage. “That’s fighting dirty!”

“You said anything.”

Byam ducked its head, but it couldn’t see any way out.

“I couldn’t take it,” it said miserably, “not now, not after… I’m not brave enough to fail again.”

Leslie’s eyes were pitiless.

“I know you are,” she said.

One last time

They scattered Leslie’s ashes on the mountain where she had first seen Byam, which would have felt narcissistic if it hadn’t been Leslie’s own idea. When they were done, Byam said it wanted a moment alone.

No, it was all right, Eun-hye should stay with her mother. Byam was just going round the corner. It wanted to look at the landscape Leslie had loved.

Alone, it took off its clothes, folding them neatly and putting them on a stone. It shrugged off the constriction of the spell that had bound it for years.

It was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after coming up from the subway. For the first time Byam felt a rush of affection for its incomplete self—legless, hornless, orbless as it was. It had done the best it could.

Ascending was familiar, yet strange. Before, Byam had always striven to break free from the bonds of earth.

This time it was different. Byam seemed to be bringing the earth with it as it rose to meet the sky. Its grief did not fall away—it was closer than ever, a cheek laid against Byam’s own.

Everything was much simpler than Byam had thought. Heaven and earth were not so far apart, after all –

“Look, Sam,” said Eun-hye. She held her son up, pointing. “There’s an imugi going to heaven! Wow!”

The child’s small frowning face turned to the sky. Gravity dug its claws into Byam.

It was fruitless to resist. Still, Byam thrashed wildly, hurling itself upwards. Fighting the battle of its life, as though it had any chance of winning.

Leslie had believed in Byam. It had promised to be brave.

“Wow, it’s so pretty!” continued Eun-hye’s voice, much loved and incredibly unwelcome. “Your imo halmeoni loved imugi.”

Sam was young, but he already had very definite opinions.

“No,” he said distinctly.

“It’s good luck to see an imugi,” said Eun-hye. “Look, the imugi’s dancing!”

“No!” said Sam, in the weary tone he adopted when adults were being especially dense. “Not imugi. It’s a dragon.”

For the first time in Byam’s inglorious career, gravity surrendered. The resistance vanished abruptly. Byam bounced into the clouds like an arrow loosed from the bow.

“No, ippeuni,” Eun-hye was explaining. “Dragons are different. Dragons have horns like a cow, and legs and claws, and long beards like Santa…”

“Got horns,” said Sam.

Byam barely noticed the antlers, or the whiskers unfurling from its face, or the legs popping out along its body, each foot adorned with four gold-tipped claws.

Because there it was—the cintamani of its dreams, a matchless pearl falling through five-coloured clouds. It was like meeting a beloved friend in a crowd of strangers.

Byam rushed toward it, its legs (it had legs!) extended to catch the orb. It still half-believed it was going to miss, and that the whole thing would come crashing down around its ears, a ridiculous daydream after all.

But the cintamani dropped right in its paw. It was lit from the inside, slightly warm to the touch. It was perfect.

Byam only realised it was shedding tears when the clouds started weeping along. It must have looked strange from the ground, the storm descending suddenly out of a clear blue sky.

Eun-hye shrieked, covering Sam’s head. “We’ve got to find Byam imo!”

“It’s getting heavy,” said Jean. “The baby’ll get wet. Get Nathan to bring the car round. I’ll look for her.”

“No, I will.”

“I’ve got an umbrella!”

They were still fighting, far beneath Byam, as the palaces of heaven rose before it. Ranks of celestial fairies stood by the gate, waiting to welcome it.

They had waited thousands of years. They could wait a little longer. Byam turned back, thinking to stop the storm. Anything to avoid a fight.

But the rain was thinning already. Through the clouds, Byam could see the child leaning out of his mother’s arms, thwarting her attempts to keep him dry. He held his hands out to the rain, laughing.

With thanks to Miri Kim, Hana Lee, Perrin Lu, Kara Lee and Rachel Monte.

If at First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again

[voidfcllen]

JACK RAMBLES but also kind of a HEADCANON abt how my Jack (14 at the start of XS, 18 / 19 now) has been spending his time AWAY from the Heylin / Xiaolin Conflict and focusing on his ROBOTS for like two years.

“Check it out, my new and IMPROVED, Jackbot!”

If anything, it didn’t LOOK all that different from the OLD ONES Perhaps a little less blocky, with smoother edges, and more ARMORED PLATING around areas containing sensitive hardware or joints. The color scheme had been changed from brown and black to a DULL SILVER more matching with the genius’s CHANGING AESTHETIC in recent years. The eyes still GLOWED RED.

“The internal hardware and programming are BASICALLY the same, course this is just the BATTLE MODEL and not the home one I keep around my lab. But all the upgraded models come with certain security upgrades.”

He beamed, almost in AWE of his own work. “The outer casing is made of a jack spicer PATENTED combination of metals to make it RESISTANT to the elements, and strong enough to stand up to a superpowered punch-- or that’s the plan anyway. Haven’t had the chance to totally test that out yet. Still a work in progress after all.”

Jack hadn’t just been twiddling his thumbs these past few years, sitting in his lab moping about how no one took him SERIOUSLY anymore.

Oh no, he was going to show them all how WRONG they were.

“Comes BUILT-IN with your typical guns-- upgraded shot rate on par with a M134 Minigun, which can shoot up to ONE HUNDRED ROUNDS per second. Laser guns this time, as they’re more cost-effective than bullets and can’t be BLOCKED as easily. Plus variations of FULLY OPPOSIBLE hands that transform into spinning blades, three different varieties based on the need of the situation, and I’m THINKING of adding laser eyes if I can figure out how to increase the processing power of the central nervous system.”

He walked around the robot, quick to lean against it and motion excitedly. EAGER to show off what was NO DOUBT his best weapon yet. “Plus, naturally, they can all still fly, the anti-gravity technology is really some of my BEST WORK. There was no way I could leave it out.

“One thing I HAVEN’T figure out just yet-- but really want in addition to being nearly invulnerable-- which I STILL have to do tests on. Would be INVULNERABILITY TO MAGIC.” That may be the most ludicrous thing Jack had EVER said, but he didn’t seem to notice and only kept talking.

“I’ve ALREADY programmed the Sentry-Bots around my lab in china to be able to detect even the STEALTHIEST of a meddling monk or evil-doer, as well as RECOGNIZE differences in my body languages, tone of voice, pronunciation, and behaviors, plus a PASSCODE, just to keep out ANYONE with the Moby Morpher. Not to mention to detect irregular movement, sounds, or breathing patterns of someone using the Shroud of Shadows or Changing Chopsticks. That’s on top of Nightvision AND Infrared detection.”

“I’d have to go to my COUSIN’S to do more research on magic, and in general anti-magic technology, which SUCKS because all the really good books are in Granpappy’s MANCAVE and he doesn’t let ANYONE in there.”

“But just imagine it!” It’s here that he motions broadly, almost bouncing in place. “An indestructible, soulless soldier, COMPLETELY loyal to only you, INVULNERABLE to magic and with a FIRE RATE that would make any call of duty fanboy drool. . . It’d be UNSTOPPABLE! The ultimate weapon!”

“Not to mention there’s a WHOLE MARKET I haven’t even breached when it comes to home security or just home aid in general. My bots practically pay for themselves! I could have a Jackbot in EVERY home across the world if I wanted! With a LITTLE more work, these babies will be the next big thing!”

It didn’t matter if that ‘next big thing’ was in WARFARE, or in just being the next best-selling COFFEE MAKER. Any sales would be used to fund his armies, his next inventions, people would basically be PAYING for their own destruction!

“I JUST need to work on the magic thing, and the INDESTRUCTIBLE thing. . . All I need is someone reeeaallly powerful to help TRASH my bots until they CAN’T be destroyed anymore. Which is easier to find than most people think.”

[namejason13-blog]

DEEP DIVE: Are E-Scooters Unsafe At Any Speed?

In just over a year, e-scooters have gone from a freakishly rare novelty to almost ubiquitous in American cities.

Billions of venture capital goes a long way, fast. Bird alone claims to be operating in more than 100 cities.

There are as many as 17,000 e-scooters on the streets of Los Angeles, the Wall Street Journal reports, available to adults for as little as $1.15 per ride. And there are 13,000 in San Diego and almost as many in Austin.

We’re just now beginning to understand the impacts.

The CDC is gearing up to do the first authoritative study of e-scooter safety. The study will examine 68 e-scooter injuries that took place over a two-month period in Austin. Over that time, there were 37 EMS calls or about one every other day, the report says. There are almost 12,000 e-scooters approved for operation on Austin’s streets and they took about 235,000 trips in October, according to city data.

Meanwhile, in recent months there has a been rising alarm about injuries. Doctors in cities such as Nashville and St. Louis have discussed worrying levels of injuries, saying scooter crash victims are flooding their emergency rooms.

Apparently, mayors have concerned as well.

“Every mayor who’s got ’em comes up to me and says, ‘Don’t take ’em,” Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan said  recently. “And the reason is … every city that has scooters has significant traumatic injuries.”

San Jose Mayor Sam Liccardo last week threatened to ban them unless the companies could use a technology like geofencing to keep e-scooters off the sidewalks.

“If there is not significant improvement in safety of e-scooters, ultimately bans are coming,” he told the San Jose Mercury News. “There are serious injuries happening out there.”

The scooter companies — especially Bird — have deflected such concerns by pointing to the far more catastrophic danger of cars. Their defenses mirror, to an uncanny degree, urbanist messages. In response to a class-action suit by injured scooter users, Bird said:

“Class action attorneys with a real interest in improving transportation safety should be focused on reducing the 40,000 deaths caused by cars every year in the U.S.”

So how are e-scooters performing on safety? It’s not an easy question to answer, in part because the scooter companies have been pretty secretive with their data, although that’s beginning to change. And it’s also difficult to say because scooters are such a new technology and, as they become integrated into urban landscapes, may experience lower and lower injury rates as cities redesign streets — similar to how cities such as New York reduced cycling deaths even as the numbers of bike riders increased.

Fatalities

So far there have been two — or three — e-scooter deaths it depends on how you count them.

In D.C. in September, a 20-year-old man was killed when he was struck by an SUV driver while riding a Lime scooter. In Dallas the same month, a 24-year-old man died in what appears to have been a solo fall from a Lime scooter.

Finally, in August, a 21-year-old woman was killed in downtown Cleveland when she was struck by a driver who, cops say, high on heroin. She was riding a scooter-hybrid with a seat she had rented from a storefront rental business — not one of the mass marketed dockless varieties that have taken over cities.

It’s hard to assess two or three deaths out of 40- to 60-million rides on a completely new vehicle with which very few people have become comfortable. By comparison, cars kill about one person per 80 million vehicle miles, a number that has been declining over the long term. But given how many miles Americans drive, cars kill tens of thousands of people every year. Scooter trips are typically a mile.

To put those numbers in perspective, a 2015 study by Ralph Buehler and John Pucher estimated that 2.25 cyclists die on their own bikes, and 5 bike-share riders die, for every 100 million miles in London and Paris.

The London and Paris numbers “might be more comparable to the scooter data, since they are for cities rather than whole countries, and urban areas tend to be somewhat safer than rural areas,” said Kay Tscheke, a public health researcher at the University of British Columbia.

Based on Bird’s estimate of 40-60 million trips at roughly one mile, Tscheke said the range for e-scooters in the U.S. seemed to be between 2.25 and 5 deaths per 100 million miles.

“If these data are correct, the death rate seems to be within the range of death rates for similar modes of travel,” she wrote.

But so far, anyway, the record for e-scooters does seem to be a bit worse than bike share in the U.S. Last year, the National Association of City Transportation Officials wrote that there have been 123 million bike share trips through the end of 2017, going back almost a decade. The estimated length of those trips is between 1.5 and 3 miles.

There have only been two bike share deaths in the U.S. in the whole history of modern bike share. That means, using an average trip length of 1.5 miles, a conservative estimate, that’s a death rate of one per 92 million miles for U.S. bike share, even excluding all the miles ridden this year.

Injuries

Evaluating injuries is more difficult. Anecdotal data are concerning, however, if you take them at face value.

Peter Holley at the Washington Post wrote in September that scooter riders were “pouring into emergency rooms” and that their injuries “looked like car wrecks,” including “broken noses, wrists and shoulders, facial lacerations and fractures, as well as the kind of blunt head trauma that can leave brains permanently damaged.” The story cited dangers in many cities.

In Santa Monica — the “e-scooter and e-bike capital of the world,” according to Curbed — 18 serious injuries were reported by the Fire Department over just a two-week period in July.

At St. Louis’s Washington University, professors recently sounded the alarm over the high number of injured scooter riders arriving in the affiliated hospital’s emergency room. They reported six to seven ER visits per week over a two-month period. It wasn’t just bumps and bruises. Of those injuries, six required surgery and 12 were admitted to that one hospital through the emergency room.

“The costs for our city to allowing these e-scooters has probably been underestimated,” the professors concluded.

Doctors in Nashville offered perhaps the most concerning anecdotal evidence yet about the safety of e-scooters. Vanderbilt Medical Center Trauma ICU director Oscar Guillamondegui told Nashville Public Radio that they were getting one injury per month that was “life changing,” meaning the person suffered what was likely permanent brain damage. For perspective, the city’s current policies allow up to 3,000 e-scooters in circulation.

The vehicles themselves

Image: Bird via PR Newswire

Some people question whether the design of the e-scooters used by Lime and Bird has inherent safety drawbacks.

“Scooters have small wheels,” Arizona State University Professor David King told Streetsblog. “That means they need really really flat smooth pavement. We don’t maintain that for anybody.”

The Riverfront Times, an alt-weekly in St. Louis, tested the devices in July, shortly after they arrived in the city. A mostly lighthearted article by Daniel Hill called them “moderately terrifying”:

Over the course of two days, I had to bail twice, went flying over the handlebars once (didn’t see that hole in the ground) and straight laid it down and slid across the pavement once (avoid multi-tasking with your hands while riding, even if you’re thirsty). Be prepared for road rash.

James McPherson, an attorney with experience litigating accident claims and who writes at SafeSelfDrive.org, raised additional concerns about the design of e-scooters, including high center of gravity, a narrow side profile.

A seat might improve safety, making scooters more like low riding bikes without pedals than upright crash machines. A seated rider lowers the center of gravity and widens the profile so he or she is more visible from the side.

We asked a Bird spokesperson how the vehicles handle on potholes. On background, that person told Streetsblog it was riders’ responsibility to avoid potholes. That means riders have to be scanning the environment both for cars and the street for potholes at the same time.

We asked Bird other questions: Did the company make any attempt to design the vehicles for maximum safety? Did the company consider the bike infrastructure in a city before setting up shop? On the record, the company offered only boilerplate about how riders are encouraged to wear helmets and how Bird encourages cities to add bike infrastructure.

Cost, not safety, seems to be an important part of the business model.

According to the Wall Street Journal, e-scooters cost about $500 each. The profitability of the companies is directly related to the price per vehicle versus how many times it is rented before it needs to be replaced. Vandalism and wear and tear are forcing the companies to replace them every two months on average. And investment prospects have been softening in part because of the limited shelf-life of the vehicles, the Journal reported.

Both Lime and Bird are valued at more than $2 billion.

How big are the environmental benefits?

Both Lime and Bird are hoping cities focus on the potential environmental benefits of e-scooters over cars.

“We don’t have a year to wait,” David Estrada, Bird’s chief legal officer and head of public policy, recently told Curbed. “Are cities going to choose to help solve the climate crisis and get people out of cars?”

It’s impressive that e-scooters have amassed between 40 to 60 million trips for a form of transportation that barely existed a year ago. But how many of those are displaced driving trips?

We don’t really know. An often-cited, though unscientific, survey in Portland found the car trip replacement level was pretty high — more than a third for locals and even higher (51 percent!) for tourists.

The survey’s limited response rate makes it digestible only with more than a few grains of salt, but it wouldn’t be surprising if e-scooters were replacing car trips at close to that range. Of course, even with healthy car-replacement levels, a large number of trips will replace walking, biking or transit as well. In those cases, they may actually increase the environmental impacts of some short trips, especially since e-scooters have such a short shelf life.

Safer streets

Scooter companies say safety will improve as scooter use becomes more widespread, creating pressure on city officials to redesign streets and add bike lanes.

Anecdotally, it seems to be true. Kansas City recently tested out a combined bike and scooter lane. And Bird has begun providing money for cities to add bike infrastructure.

Perhaps, as Bird asserts, e-scooters will eventually displace enough car trips to have a measurable impact on traffic safety.

Researchers Peter and Joel Jacobsen — whose research helped establish the “safety in numbers” effect for biking — say they expect scooter injuries to decline as they become more common, as both drivers will become more aware of them and they help produce changes in the environment. The Jacobsens said, while there wasn’t very much data, they would expect the safety outcomes of e-scooters to be similar to biking and walking.

Our very rough fatalities analysis supports that idea. But if the injuries show something different, it will be interesting to see how that impacts the industry and the regulatory environment. It’s also possible it will help alleviate worries and lead to wider adoption.

Our December donation drive continues!

Source: https://usa.streetsblog.org/2018/12/19/deep-dive-are-e-scooters-unsafe-at-any-speed/

[midnightghostwriter]

cold december night

↬ summary: "So please just fall in love with me this Christmas / There's nothing else that I would need this Christmas"

↬ genre: too much fluff

↬ pairing: jung hoseok x reader

↬ word count: 2.2k

a/n: wtf am i doing it's not even remotely cold here, but i haven't finished my next thing and i'll be too busy to do it tonight so have this repost instead omg. this was a request for the holidays once and idk I think it's still good~

Every Christmas was the same. Always chilly, always cheery…

Always lonely.

Well, perhaps that was an overstatement. You certainly weren’t completely alone, not when you had your best friend Hoseok to keep you company. But with your parents living too far for you travel back and see them every single year, and you a fair bit too shy to made many other friends besides Jung Hoseok and his own, you couldn’t fight down the loneliness that rose in you, threatened to choke you out every single December when lights went up across the city and shops broke out the holiday music.

It was these things that clouded your thoughts when your best friend called, rousing you from your moping and mindless internet browsing. With a heavy sigh you snatched /up your phone and shoved it against your ear.

“What is it, Hoseok?” He chuckled and you instantly felt a twinge of guilt for snapping, mixed with a swirl of butterflies through your stomach and up your throat.

“Jeez y/n, everything okay?” You leaned farther back into your couch and sighed again, flinging an arm gracelessly across your face.

“It’s nothing, just the usual holiday blues.” A noise of understanding echoed across the line.

“Well lucky for you I’ve got just the thing to fix that!”

“What?” You snorted.

“Are you free on Friday?”

“Yeah…?”

“Awesome! Be ready to go out by 7, okay?”

“What? Hoseok- Hey, wait, wait!” But your pleas were lost in the silence of him having hung up on you.

When Friday at 7 precisely arrived, you had just managed to put the finishing touches on your outfit. Gravity fought against you valiantly as you tried to pull your shoes on and hurry to the answer the door at the same time. You turned out to be the victor, pulling the door open and standing straight just as Hoseok shoved something in your face.

“Hobi what the-”

“For you!” When you did move to take the bouquet of delicate red and white blooms right away, you could see the hesitation begin to set in like clouds blocking the sun. “I-I remember you saying these were your favorite so I-”

“Thank you Hobi,” you said quietly, taking the flowers from him and cradling them gently, a warm smile offered as you did so. “I love them.” His own grin returned, setting your heart at ease instantly.

“I’m glad. Now come on, this is only the beginning.” You hardly had a moment to set the bouquet down with a mental note to put them in a vase as soon as you returned before he had clasped your hand in his and dragged you out the door.

Hoseok led you stumbling and giggling through what felt like the entire city, your hand warm in his, your earlier worry about bringing gloves forgotten. He had always been able to bring out the warmth in you, even when December threatened to freeze you to the bone. Trying to be subtle as possible, you tightened your grip as his brisk pace slowed down outside a restaurant.

A wide smile spread across your face at the sight. You and what felt like a large majority of the city considered it your favorite place, which meant large crowds that made it almost impossible to get a table most days. But Hobi led you inside with no problem to the host, who smiled and guided you to a somewhat secluded table.

“How did you get this reservation?” You asked after the host vanished, awe clear in your voice. The cheshire cat’s grin ghosted across his face.

“I have my ways,” he said teasingly, fingers wiggling as if casting some magic spell. Your giggles were cut short by the appearance of your waiter, service smile in place and notepad poised to take your orders. Your smile stayed as Hoseok ordered two of you favorite dish, pleased he’d remembered that too.

Dinner was full of laughter and more smiles as he regaled you with tales from his work as an idol and the six other boys in his group. Back-and-forth questions about your time apart peppered the air around mouthfuls of food, and for a time you were able to forget the crushing sorrow that had gripped you a few days earlier.

When the check was paid, Hobi wasted no time in once again scooping up your hand and pulling you eagerly along behind him. More prepared this time you kept up well, following his brisk pace with ease. He led you down a few blocks to a cheerily decorated cafe, colorful lights strung across every available surface and other holiday themed items squeezed in anywhere people weren’t sitting.

“It’s so cute!” You exclaimed happily and he smiled before pulling you inside. The barista greeted you both cheerily, elf hat jingling. Before you could open your mouth Hoseok had ordered your favorite peppermint hot chocolate and one for himself, making a point to ask for extra cream on top. You stood comfortably side by side as you waited for your drinks for a few minutes before he turned to you.

“Why don’t you go wait outside? I’ll meet you out there.” You raised your eyebrows at him. It was Seoul in winter, why in the world would you want to be outside when you could be cozy and warm in this adorable cafe? “Please?” You could never resist the cute face he was flashing you now so with a sigh you went to wait by the cafe window outside.

Luckily Jack Frost’s winds didn’t have a chance to so much as nip your nose before Hoseok joined you, pressing a warm cup into your hands. You glanced down at the steaming beverage to find a cute message scrawled in the whipped cream No Christmas light shines as beautiful as you. An unfamiliar thumping rattled your rib cage as your heart skipped a beat. Your eyes flew up to find his staring back at you, warm but lit with an unusually serious edge.

“Hobi…” No further words were able to get past your lips as this time he looped your elbows together, leading you towards the nearby park, his earlier rush gone. “Where are we going?”

“The garden in the park has a bunch of lights and stuff up for people to look at. I thought it’d be nice to see,” he murmured quietly and you nodded along, heart still racing so much you didn’t trust yourself to speak. Instead you took a careful sip from the very edge of your cup, trying to avoid ruining his sweet words. Ever since they had been pressed into your hands, something in the air between you had felt different. Every glance, word, sight was more meaningful, more intense now than anything with Hobi had ever been.

There were surprisingly few people in the park, and you couldn’t decide if this reassured you or made you more nervous. Your best friend was quiet for once as the two of you tread the path towards the illustrious flower garden at the park’s center. Tucked away inside a large greenhouse, a multitude of beautiful blooms made themselves available for viewing year round. This time of year, it was lit by a vast array of colorful lights, some made to look like various fauna, others simply illuminating the beauty already present. It was lovely, it was enchanting…

And it was known to be one of the most romantic dates during the holiday season.

Your heart approached your throat as you reached the garden’s entry, and you took another careful sip of your hot chocolate, letting the warmth in your throat distract from the increasing warmth of your reddening cheeks. You stayed as close to Hoseok as you dared, trying to calm your heart as it eagerly absorbed the warmth that radiated from him.

As expected, the garden was beautifully lit, and after a few minutes you had calmed down enough to fall back into your familiar patterns with him, laughing and pointing out the things you saw as you followed the garden path. On a number of occasions you took out your phones to snap silly pictures of each other, giggling like school children.

“Aaahhh, y/n-ah, you look so cute in this one!” Hoseok exclaimed excitedly, gesturing to the most recent picture he’d taken of you with some squirrels made from lights. You blushed a bit and swatted his arm.

“Hush,” you scolded with embarrassment. He giggled and pulled you further down the path before stopping. You looked around, surprised to see you’d reached the end of the walk, now standing beneath the tunnel of climbing roses that led to the garden exit. Before you could continue out the door, Hoseok grasped your wrist, turning you back around to face him.

“y/n… I need to tell you something.” The serious look in his eyes had returned and something about it made the gallop of your heart return. Long fingers gentle, he took the now lukewarm cup from your hands, setting it on the path nearby before he slid them into his. You stared up at him, surprised and nervous at just what had gotten into him.

“Every year around this time, I watch the light leave your eyes, I see how sad you get, and it hurts. A lot. It took me a while to realize why I was so worried about your heart, more than a best friend should be, and longer to accept it. But I have now, and I think I’m ready to tell you.”

If you were going to speak up and stop him now would be the time, but your throat feels as if it has closed up, speech having become impossible. And you’re not so sure you want to anyway, if you have any clue where this is going.

“When Christmas comes around, I always wish for a lot of things; for my family’s health and happiness, for my friends to have fun, for BTS to do well, for all kinds of presents. But there’s something that, for the last few years, I’ve wanted that no one else can give me.” His hands squeeze yours tighter, prompting you to once again meet his eyes, and the warmth and care in them melts your heart. “I want you. I want you to love me the way I love you, to let me be the one to make you feel safe…” He hesitates for a second before reaching up to caress your cheek. “The one who holds you close on cold nights like these and reminds you that the holidays aren’t so sad because you aren’t as alone as you think.”

“Hoseok, I-” But he shakes his head to stop you.

“I know you probably don’t feel the same way, and that’s okay. But I couldn’t go another Christmas without telling you how I felt, and without trying to make you see that you don’t have to be sad.” Your heart is overflowing with warmth and happiness at his words, and you want to say the words that will tell him you feel the same, that you never really feel sad or alone when he’s with you and you want that to always be the case. But they’re just out of your reach, still so scared to open that part of yourself up to someone. Especially your friend. What if something happens and you ruin your friendship forever?

He takes your nervous silence for a rejection and offers you a brave smile that fails to mask the hurt in his eyes. There’s an unhappy squeezing in your chest now as he slides his hands from yours and turns towards the door.

“Don’t worry about it. Forget I said anything. I just wanted to cheer you up for one night.” He glances up then and chuckles. “Though I suppose we should avoid this mistletoe then.” You follow his gaze to a green sprig of the kissing plant, strung above your heads at the rose tunnel’s end. Feeling a sudden surge of bravery at the excuse the silly holiday tradition gives, you take the steps necessary to reach out and grab his shoulder, turning him before he can ask any questions, and press your lips to his.

The kiss tastes like too much peppermint hot chocolate, but also like the warmth of the sun and the safety of home that has always been Hobi to you. It’s sweet, caring, and just a little awkward, but it’s nothing short of perfect. It gets infinitely better when he finally turns all the way around to face you, hands pulling you even closer so you can wrap your arms around his neck. The intensity is also so like him that you find yourself smiling against his lips, and feel him do the same.

When you finally part, he’s grinning like a kid, well, on Christmas morning, and he can’t seem to resist pressing a kiss to your forehead and then crushing you to him in a tight hug. You laugh, elated during the holidays for the first time in ages, and hold him as close as you can.

“I love you, too,” you finally remember to say and feel the rumble of his laughter in his chest again, a sweet, warm sound against the chill of December.

[enst1000bk]

Water You Doing to Our Water Supply?!

Now, I know I’ve started blog posts with something similar to “This week’s topic is about one of the most important things on Earth because…” but this time, I think it really is the most important resource on Earth. That’s right, we’re talking about water! Everyone’s favorite drink! Well… it should be at least. There’s nothing more refreshing in the morning than an ice cold glass of water to get your day started. Well, in my opinion anyway. To start, we’re going to take a look at something called a water footprint. A water footprint, similar to an ecological footprint, is a summary of the amount of fresh water used to make a specific product or service. You’d be surprised how much water it takes to do almost anything! For instance, did you know that the average pair of jeans uses nearly 11,000 liters of water? That’s nearly 3,000 gallons!!

In this case, the business is me and the product or service is just my daily living for a year. My yearly water footprint is about 943.2 m³ per year, and that’s not even including all of the water that I drink! I’ll be honest, I’m not really sure what number I was expecting but this activity definitely makes me want to cut down on my water waste!

Speaking of water waste, why does it matter? We have so much water on Earth we’re never gonna run out! Right? While it may be true that we have a lot of water on our planet, we don’t have access to all of it. Water covers more than 70% of the Earth’s surface, but only approximately 0.009-0.024% of it is drinkable liquid water. 97% of the water on earth is in the ocean, meaning it is too salty for human use and consumption (National Geographic, 2017). The other water is either in sheets of ice, or underground freshwater deposits. Clearly, this means most of the water we see is unusable to us. Bummer! However, we have ways of working around it. In fact, some of the most important water resources we have are underground! That’s right, the majority of the water we use for everyday production comes from groundwater, water that moves from high elevation and pressure to lower points of elevation and pressure mostly due to gravity. Water seeps into cracks in soil, gravel, and rocks and works its way into the ground until a layer of impenetrable rock prevents it from moving any farther. The water pools in underground layers called aquifers, underground caverns and porous layers of sand, gravel, or rock that water flows through underground. Underground caverns have been known to host underground rivers and streams where the water moves freely, but the porous sand and gravel keep the water more stationary. Because all of this water is fresh water, it makes it a pretty well sought after resource. But it’s underground! So how do we get to it? We use pumps! The pumps bring the water to the surface, and the groundwater is usually replenished naturally thanks to precipitation and run off percolating to the aquifers. Once we use the water, nature takes care of recycling it through the hydrologic cycle. The hydrologic cycle is responsible for recycling and cleaning water that has been used, distributing the now clean water, and gathering dirty water that needs to be cleaned and redistributed. The three major steps in the water or hydrologic cycle are evaporation, condensation, and precipitation. The cycle works like a charm! That is, unless we pollute the water or take from natural water sources too excessively before they have an opportunity to refill themselves… but we’ll get into that soon. One of the biggest issues with pumping water is that we’re pumping heavily excessive amounts of water. The gigantic Ogallala aquifer, located in the Midwest and going as far south as Texas (yeah, that’s REALLY big!), supplies water for almost a third of the United States! This aquifer is the biggest in the entire world and supplies seemingly endless supplies of water (key word being seemingly, obviously). The biggest issue with the Ogallala aquifer is that it has a really slow natural recharge rate, so it takes a REALLY long time for the aquifer to refill itself, it’s essentially a one time supply for the way humans use water in our lifetimes. The Ogallala Aquifer is being pumped at a rate of 10-40 times faster than the recharge rate, meaning that eventually, humans are going to suck this aquifer dry and future generations will not be able to use this. Another factor that depletes the available amount of water for human consumption is pollution, which is our next topic. 

When water becomes polluted it is contaminated with chemicals that make it unfit for human consumption. Funny enough, humans are the ones that cause pollution so we are literally just wasting precious water! We know that we have a finite amount of water on this planet but we continue to do activities, in the U.S. and worldwide, that dirties our water and makes it unclean to ever use again! It’s baffling to me, but I guess that’s beside the point. Water pollution falls under two categories: point and nonpoint sources. Point sources of pollution are easy to identify because you can see exactly where the pollutants are coming from. Some point sources include drainpipes or sewer lines. Nonpoint sources are harder to trace back to the origin because they spread pollution over large areas. An example of a nonpoint water pollution source would be run off from crops and farmlands that contain chemicals like DEET and other pesticides. There has been much greater success in controlling pollution from point sources, because it is expensive to identify and fix pollution from nonpoint sources.

The majority of the world suffers from not having enough access to clean water. Sometimes, I think people from the US may not be sensitive to this issue because we live our everyday lives without ever having to even think about what it would be like to experience that. However, recently (or maybe not recently now, unfortunately) this has been tested here in our home country in Flint, Michigan, where their drinking water has been not only unusable but also dangerous (causing rashes, increase in lead blood levels, and hair loss) for more than five years at this point. The crisis started in 2014 when the city decided to change its’ water source from the Detroit system to the Flint River in order to save money. However, prior to this the Flint River acted as a waste dumping facility for businesses and families alike, so the river itself was already in bad shape. When Flint decided to switch over to the river as their new water source, they also decided to skip on some of the rules and regulations for clean water as well as the procedures used to actually clean the water, meaning the water wasn’t being cleaned. Five years later and the residents of Flint still don’t have clean water but yeah…. Let’s continue to focus on whatever idiotic thing the president has to say about immigrants next, instead of focusing on real issues in the country.

Word Count: 1,210 Blog Question: What would be the most effective way to help the citizens of Flint? How can we possibly reverse what has already been done?

                                              Works Cited

Competing for Clean Water Has Led to a Crisis. (2017, January 27). Retrieved from https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/freshwater/freshwater-crisis/

[phonebonepranksuniverse-blog]

6 Reasons to Laugh More

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person. ~ Audrey Hepburn

I was in a mall recently with my husband when we passed an elderly woman with a serious scowl on her face. (Have you noticed that older people seem to scowl a lot?) There are plenty of studies that prove it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown, although I don't know why. Gravity has been working on our frowns for decades now and it shows!

Anyway, I turned to him and said, "Remind me as I get older to smile more. I don't ever want to look like an old sourpuss."

I don't know why older people seem so out-of-sorts and angry. We've lived through decades of trials and tribulations, raised kids and cared for parents, worked more hours and overcome more catastrophes than I'd care to count, and survived it all. That should be reason enough to grin. Whew!

Age, of course is relative. There are plenty of 'youngsters' who look like they suck on lemons, too. They seem to be so caught up in the drama of their lives that they've forgotten joy and humor. If they would only realize that laughter is one of life's secret weapons. It helps overcome trials at every age.

Bernard Baruch, a businessman and politician, used to say, "I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am." He lived to a ripe young age, missing his 95th birthday by just two months. Almost every photo of him shows at least a slight smile on his face, and that is something to emulate.

I remember as a kid, my mom and I played board games at the kitchen table after my siblings went to bed. Some silliness would set us both off and we'd laugh until our tummies hurt. I've enjoyed moments like that with girlfriends, as well as my hubby (who keeps me laughing much of the time). In fact, I laugh much more now than I ever remember during my early adult years.

The benefits of laughter are widely researched, but the bottom line is, laughing just makes you feel good. The more you laugh, the better you feel. Here are some other benefits of laughter.

Laughter soothes stress.

Happy is he... whose hope is in the Lord his God (Ps. 146:5). Did you notice that happy goes hand in hand with hope? Hope and happiness are the opposite of discouragement, pessimism and fear. Laughter is the antidote for every conceivable concern, trial or dilemma. It reduces stress and eases tension by changing the chemicals released by the brain. When things get tough, I've learned to laugh on purpose. (Try it, it works!) And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope (Job 11:18).

Laughter improves health.

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine (Prov. 17:22). Laughter is healing. Physically, it increases your heart rate and oxygen intake. After a good laugh, your body relaxes. Laughing also increases the production of endorphins, which are your body's natural pain killers.

Have you noticed how much better you feel, both physically and mentally, when you laugh? And, the more you laugh the better you feel! Unlike bottled medications, there are no negative side-effects to laughter so you can't overdose. Laughter is a great mood-enhancer. You won't need drugs (legal or illegal) if you'll put more laughter in your life. Hope thou in God, who is the health of my countenance and my God(Ps. 42:11).

Laughter eases depression.

Laughing, both at funny stuff and at yourself, lessens tension and depression. Shared laughter is therapeutic, so much so that laughter therapy is recognized as a valid psychological treatment.

Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth, and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth (Eccl. 11:9). I've heard it said that 'youth is wasted on the young'. Too often, youth is so wrapped up in negatives - what they don't have, what they can't get, 'what's wrong with me', that they ignore opportunities for joy.

Laughter puts things in perspective.

... whoso trusts in the Lord, happy is he (Prov. 16:20). One of the advantages of 'older' is the ability to relax in trauma and turmoil. The angst of my younger years has been replaced by experience, knowing that even the most difficult circumstances usually sort themselves out. You and I are stronger than we believe, but that understanding usually comes from hindsight. The ability to laugh at yourself and your situations makes them seem less dire. In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world (John 16:33).

Laughter makes you look younger.

A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance... (Prov. 15:13). The Bible talks a lot about joy and a merry heart. God's commandments (the full list, not just the Top Ten) included lots of feast days with wine and food. Why? Because He enjoys a good party as much as we do! David danced before the Lord. Even their sacrifices were offered with great joy, for God had made them rejoice with great joy... so that the joy of Jerusalem was heard even afar off (Neh. 12:43). That must have been some celebration! And it happened often in both the Old and New Testaments.

Smiling is the quickest, most pain-free, least expensive face-lift available. Don't believe me? Stand in front of a mirror and practice. Your eyes brighten; your face looks friendlier. Actually, I remind myself often throughout the day to smile, whether anyone is watching or not. I just want the practice.

Laughter produces strength.

No matter how difficult your situation seems, find something to laugh about. The Bible proclaims, the joy of the Lord is your strength (Neh. 8:10). Joy is defined as great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying, keen pleasure or elation. The ability to laugh at yourself and your circumstances helps keep them in perspective. Be strong and of good courage; dread not, not be dismayed (I Chron. 22:13). It's hard to be dismayed when you're laughing.

Solomon, one of the wisest men who ever ruled God's people, recognized there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance (Eccl. 3:4). Life's troubles are many. We all know that. But if you will put more laughter in your life, those troubles will seem less... well, troublesome.

You are God's child and a joint heir with Jesus! You've got all the power of heaven behind you! Paul reminded the Philippians, who were dealing with some significant issues: Rejoice in the Lord always; and again I say, "Rejoice!" The Lord is at hand. Fret not about anything... (Phil. 4:4, 6). Instead of being upset or depressed, laugh!

Your attitude is your choice. You can choose giggles or gloomy. So why not laugh on purpose? Laugh because it feels good. Share a smile (or a joke) with everyone you meet. Put more laughter in your life.

PhoneBonePranks Is A Controversial Critically Acclaimed Uncensored Phone Pranking Segment. PhoneBonePranks Is Your One Stop Site For Non-stop Laughs & Entertainment. We Enjoy Manifesting Uncut Unscripted Adult Pranks For Your Amusement, This Content Is For Entertainment Purposes Only, We Respect All Lifestyles & Beliefs. Enjoy PhoneBonePranks, Follow Us @PhoneBonePranks

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 50)

Weiss blinked. “What.”

“You're a Fae/Human hybrid,” Penny repeated. “Your vitae vine data has shown that you have unmistakably Fae genes in your DNA, which explains why your body and mind has been so quick to adapt to everything here in the Valley—part of it already was, before you even arrived here.”

Weiss stood there, staring at her.

Abner picked up a fancy wooden chair, and put it behind Weiss; Penny gently helped her into it.

“H-how long…?” Weiss whispered. “How didn’t anyone…? Who…?!”

“Err, well, since I’m assuming you’re asking for ‘How long’ your family has had Fae blood in it, ‘How didn’t anyone’ know, and ‘Who’ was the one hiding animal ears and tails, or an older relative that had them...” Abner said.

“For the first: we don’t know.

“You're several generations from your full-blooded Fae ancestor; your human traits were naturally more dominant and/or expressed themselves more blatantly than your Fae traits, like with Ruby's sister Yang; or you're very recent, but whoever did know was smart enough to modify your genetic code so you're essentially human.

“For the second: the trend of 'Designer Descendants' unintentionally gave inter-species liaisons the perfect, socially acceptable cover to erase the fact that, well, one parent wasn't entirely human, or human at all!”

“Then who was it?!” Weiss snapped. “Was it my mom? My father? My grandparents?!” she shot out of her seat and stormed up to Abner. “Tell me! And don't give me any of that 'Not authorized' bullshit, this is my family you're talking about!”

Abner raised his hands, all four of his spider-limbs following suit. “I would sincerely love to so we could begin to accurately map out your lineage, but unfortunately, I really don't know! The Council likes to keep very accurate records, but obviously there are things we can't keep track of, and individuals that don't fall through the cracks so much as they intentionally seek them out, and dive through without hesitation and without a trace.

“For all we know, your Fae ancestor could have been a Celestian, where the Council has no dominion—and the folks there are notoriously good at hiding every last trace that they even exist—or they were from one of the independent tribes in Sekhmet!

“In the latter case, I sincerely wish you luck trying to find them, if they haven't already been killed and eaten by scrabs, or any of the other horrors lurking in the sands.”

“So what CAN you tell me?!”

“That hybrids like you are not that rare,” Abner replied. “Certainly, we don't have many first generation Fae-Human hybrids running around in all of Avalon—Ruby, for example—but if I had to guess, 10% or less of the total population have some form of ancestry with the Fae.

“Aside from the fact that both of our societies have long been capable of removing most boundaries for any two individuals to have biological children, later generations or almost entirely human hybrids like yourself and Yang have been shown to be able to reproduce with humans no problem, and vice-versa for those that were born with ears and tails like Ruby.”

“Shouldn't have this have shown up somewhere?” Weiss asked. “You can buy mods off the Info-Grid to change your bioligical gender AND be capable of having children AND make them however you want them!

“It's practically one of the best sellers!”

“It should have indeed!” Abner said. “But, you know: politics! Humans and Fae society aren't exactly strangers to gigantic cover-ups, modification, and even outright erasure of facts, history, and new discoveries that would prove to be… quite disruptive to the peaceful order of things!

“And on a less ominous note: accidents, natural disasters, and mistakes DO happen, and regularly.”

Weiss glared at him, her hands balled into fists. “So I'll probably never know anything and it’s going to stay a huge mystery, is that what you're saying?!”

Abner thought about it. “… Pretty much, yes!”

Weiss screamed in frustration, before she turned to Penny, her expression not angry, but hurt. “You knew...?” she whispered, her voice trembling. “All this time, you knew…?”

Penny frowned, and nodded her head sadly. “For what it's worth, I really did want to tell you, but--”

“The Council didn't want me to know, until I was down here deep underground, with a man that they enslaved 500 years ago because he was dumb enough to fall for the Keeper's tricks, right?!” Weiss snapped. “What are you going to do if I say 'No,' huh?! Keep me down here and just tell Ruby there was a horrible accident in the Maker's Forge which is why I'm never coming back?!”

“So sorry for interrupting, but Keeper Ilaya didn't trick me into slavery!” Abner said. “That was just the story we propagated so my debtors wouldn't come looking for me anymore, alongside the general goal of keeping us humans out of the Valley.”

Weiss turned around. “Then please, enlighten me with the truth, because I'm pretty sick of all these 'We weren't exactly lying' omissions of it!” she said as she angrily sat back down on the chair.

“Might I convince you to get tested for magical capabilities first?” Abner said, gesturing a hand towards the chamber. “You'll need to be fully conscious for the whole 10 minutes. Don't worry, it won't hurt, though the deliberate stimulation of your magical resonators, should you have them, might tingle.”

“Depends: what happens if I test positive?”

“Well, depending on your elemental alignment, you'll be able to throw fire balls, shoot electricity from your fingertips, punch with the power of an earthquake, or freeze things with a wave of your hand, possibly whilst singing a catchy tune about your powers!” Abner chuckled.

Weiss and Penny stared at him blankly.

“Sorry, Old World holos! There's only so many projects I can busy myself with... anyway, shall we?”

“Can it help me get answers from the Council?” Weiss asked.

“I'd be surprised if didn’t! Rogue Weavers are one of the greatest threats to Fae society, alongside Soul Eaters, and human beings in general.”

Weiss got up. “Then let's do this,” she said as she stepped into the chamber.

“Splendid!” Abner said. “Now, before I begin the experiment, I must warn you that you will begin to float in mid-air, and the constant bombardment of low-intensity magic waves will likely cause a constant but harmless thrumming in your chest, alongside the aforementioned tingling.”

“I've sat through the entirety of my father's shareholders’ balls speeches looking interested for the holos,” Weiss said as she stepped in. “Trust me, I've had worse,”

“Then let the testing begin!” Abner said, dramatically raising his hand, and pushing the big, round “Start” button with his index finger.

The crystals around Weiss began glow as they charged with magic and faded as they released it, the waves being absorbed or reflected by the metals. Her feet lifted up a few inches from the floor, her hair lazily floated around her head, her fingers and toes tingled, and her chest was being hit by a soft, rhythmic pounding.

It was like she was in the middle of an anti-gravity chamber that had static electricity generators and subwoofers blasting at the lowest settings possible.

“You alright in there?” Abner asked as he monitored the various readouts.

“I'm fine, just… tingly.” Weiss said.

Abner chuckled. “Good, good, that's a wonderful sign! Now, shall I start with the True Tale of the Keeper of the Grove? Well, my section of it, anyway; can't speak for Guillermo, seeing as he's dead, and Comtessa was FAR before I was even born!”

“Sure,” Weiss replied. “What really happened…?”

“Well, the part about me being potentially one of Lumania's greatest minds was certainly true.

“Aside from the fact that my parents were rather fond of genetic engineering to create the smartest, most charming, and most athletically gifted progeny possible, my father was quite rich and born of a noble family, and my other father was also one of the latest candidates for secretary to Steward Reese—the one who was assigned to Lumania at the time.

“Unfortunately, wealth, prestige, and luxury tend to make people complacent, and my family quickly fell to ruin, overtaken by both daring new upstarts in business and academe, and a number of sordid scandals I won't bother you with the details of.

“I was still in utero when they ran out of funds or other means to continue my gene therapy, currently in the middle of vastly increasing my intellectual capacity and energy levels. The doctors said the pregnancy could continue without any significant problems, and they didn't need to go deep into debt to either reverse the procedures or complete them, so they busied themselves with making as comfortable a life as they could with whatever was left, along with something for my surrogate mother.

“'What's the worst that could happen,' they thought?

“As it turns out: hypomania and academic excellence, marred by a lifetime of impulse control problems!

“Think days of intense work, pushing the boundaries of science and our understanding of reality, stupefying the public and impressing the most advanced minds at the time, followed by weeks of wild daredevil stunts, poorly thought out business ventures, illicit sexual escapades, gambling, and numerous terrible decisions made in the heat of the moment, such as an incident involving a prostitute with an artificial leg, a lamp post, and an umbrella.

“My goodness, life before my governor was hell: procrastination, distraction, and guilt at what I could have been doing with my time, energy, and skill than researching everything there was about Joe Pesci, which lead to even more procrastination, distraction, and guilt…

“It was a vicious cycle, is what I'm saying.

“And it didn't really help that I decided to go against dear daddies' advice and slowly build up wealth I could safely call my own, and instead borrowed extensively, on the promise that I'd get my metaphorical shit together long enough to start a venture that would pay it back several fold in the coming years.”

Abner shuddered. “Never doubt the saying that a loan from a Valentinian is for life.

“Once it began to look like I was going to be unable to show anything of note, they began to hound me, day and night. Soon enough, they didn't even want the money any more, they just wanted to get their hands on me, because apparently my uncanny ability to avoid them was starting to humiliate their organization, put cracks in their reputation as people you do not trifle with lest you pay the inevitable consequences, and make people begin to doubt their claim that they would find you and get you, wherever you were.

“And believe me, after they chased me out of Lumania, they found me, every single time.

“Be it the Nexus...”

Valentian Debt Collectors burst into a temple for the Holy Shepherd. The congregation and the custodian preaching at the time did not appreciate the intrusion, but paid them little heed soon enough. Out of respect, the uniformed goons acted discretely, apologizing as they methodically swept the pews, looked for opportunities to peek into the rooms on the sides, whispering into their comm-crystals than shouting to each other.

A line of hooded shipmates walked down the aisle, on their way out the doors. A goon passing by noticed one of them seemed a little too engrossed in his copy of Captain Piper's Logs, holding the hardbound book right up to his face.

She took a risk, pulled it down.

She and Abner made eye contact.

“Well praise be to Piper,” she said, grinning evilly.

WHAM!

Abner smacked her upside the head with two-inch thick tome, stunning her long enough for him to run deeper into the temple.

The goons shouted and tore through the pews, members of the congregation screaming and fleeing while the poor custodian had to abandon ship as Abner threw the book at the stained glass window behind her, shattering part of it into pieces.

He launched off the altar and through where Steward Valentino's crotch used to be, the goons shattering the rest of the window as they tried to follow him out the same way, with much less grace.

“… Sekhmet...”

Debt collectors in weather-appropriate garb roamed the dunes on a sand-surfer, cloth and goggles around their heads to protect them from the howling winds. The scout on the bow saw a small, inconspicuous stone building nearly buried underneath a mound, and raised their hand.

The leader of the group called for the pilot to stop.

They landed, and made their way inside the seclusion.

The hermits inside paid them little mind, engrossed in their meditation or their chores. The goons began to explore the interior, opening up clay pots, opening doors and looking in, peering past beards and overgrown hair, trying to look for a familiar face.

One of them stopped before a statue of a man down on one knee, his face bowed as he offered a massive bowl of fruit to a relief of the infamous Red Queen of Sekhmet, the inspiration for the Queensguard.

He was about to walk on by, before he saw the “statue” shudder, trying to hold back a sneeze. He leaned down, peered into the face still resolutely pointed downwards, eyes closed.

“Over here!” the goon called out, and soon the five-person crew were standing in a semi-circle around Abner, guns and clubs out, watching him shake and sweat, relishing the moment before they moved in for the kill.

Abner's arms gave way, the bowl fell to the floor, the offerings rolling before the guard's feet.

They paid it no heed, until one of them noticed a “pomegranate” beeping.

Boom.

The guards regained their sight and hearing just before Abner ran away with their sandskiff, pilot included as had enough Urochs and valuables to pay her for the other half of the trip.

“… And then there was that kerfuffle in Solaris!”

Abner screamed at the top of his lungs as he stood at the helm of a tiny sky-skiff.

Just behind him, Black Cross, Jade Empire, and Jahiliyyah forces shot each other out of the air, damaged and sparking ships crashing into buildings, the streets, and the Endless Sea below with reinforcements constantly coming in to replace them, fighting to the death for the massive bounty on Abner's head and the lifetime of good favour it would afford them with Valentino and all its riches.

The Justices on the ground, the rooftops, and the Halls debated stepping in, or just letting them do their work for them.

“There was a brief stint of hiding out in the independent communities trying to make it outside of the city states, but I am a man of many creature comforts, and I simply couldn't make it as a simple farmer, or a wandering trader...”

“Mama NO!” a young woman cried as a pantsless Abner fled for the hills as her mother tried to shoot him with a hunting rifle.

“… Well, that, and there are no secrets in such small communities.

“So I decided to hide where they least expected me to: Valentino itself. Which worked out surprisingly well, actually! I lasted there for all of two years, since there's so many other fugitives, quasi-legal enterprises, and bad debts that need attention on a regular basis, their infamous tunnel vision and single-minded determination worked to their detriment.

“… Unfortunately, those same problems that got me into such deep debt in the first place hadn't disappeared, and they found me soon enough—fittingly enough, after I flirted with an off-duty collector at a bar.

“To be fair, I REALLY should have been more suspicious when she said she recognized me from somewhere.

“I must confess: I didn't assemble a last ditch expedition into the Valley, to attempt to find something to bring back and pay off my debts. Even my charms have limits, and there's only so many bridges you can burn before you're just surrounded by water you can't cross, and your pursuers all have motorboats.

“For better or worse, the Valentinian Debt Collection Agency had made a serious cost-benefit analysis, and it'd be best for their reputation and their bottom line if I just happened to completely, officially disappear off the face of the realm or die in some mysterious way of my own hand, so they wouldn't have to admit that they only found me by pure happenstance, and they could begin moving on from the giant stain in their reputation that I had become.

“It would have been the end of me, if they hadn't insisted on 'Doing it the right way,' by digging a shallow grave to throw my soon-to-be lifeless body in. And as you know, the bedrock only begins to stop once you're deep in the Valley proper…

“… And that's when Ily—err, Keeper Ilaya—found us.”

[douchebagbrainwaves]

OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT IDEAS

Getting to general plus useful by starting with useful and cranking up the generality may be unsuitable for junior professors trying to get tenure in any field you must not arrive at conclusions that members of tenure committees can disagree with. But why should people who program computers be so concerned about copyrights, of all things? Few others could have done it. Behind every great fortune, there is no way they can get around that.1 But it's pretty easy to make $3000 a month do not mean the company has succeeded. When new mail arrives, it is scanned into tokens, and everything else goes into the spam corpus, with only 1. They can sense totalitarianism approaching from a distance, as animals can sense an approaching thunderstorm. So starting from utility won't entirely solve the problem of the headers, the spam probability will hinge on the url, and it will take some effort to make that look neutral. Fifty years ago, and even then was afflicted by the structural problems I've described above.

Which means your brain could conceivably be split into two halves and each transplanted into different bodies. If you made a graph of GNP per capita vs. The control systems inside machines used to be physical: gears and levers and cams. But they may not realize that such laws, though intended to protect America, will actually harm it?2 If you write in an unclear way about big ideas, you produce something that seems tantalizingly attractive to inexperienced but intellectually ambitious students. Believe it or not, the two senses of hack are also connected. The key to this mystery is to revisit that question, are they really worth 100 of us? After all, he protected them from both the criticism of outsiders and the promptings of their own inner compass by establishing the principle that the most noble sort of theoretical knowledge: some that's useful in practical matters and some that isn't. The most dramatic I learned immediately, in the first step, and ngood and nbad are the number of false positives will not tend to be annoyed by hackers' general attitude of disobedience.

Data is by definition easy to copy.3 This is just as well, anyway, if a backup system doesn't rely on the same technology as the primary system. Well, of course.4 Something similar happened when people first started describing things as hot or cold and when someone asked what is heat?5 99 probability. Indeed, c0ck is far more damning evidence than cock, and Bayesian filters know precisely how much more.6 They had to, or we wouldn't have paid for them. You can see wealth—in buildings and streets, in the first semester of freshman year, in a class taught by Sydney Shoemaker. And yet as it gets cheaper to start startups, this sparsely occupied territory is becoming more and more valuable. The financial risk? I had several motives, some more honorable than others.

A word like shortest is almost as much evidence for innocence as a word like that is effectively a kind of singularity in this respect.7 But it also discovered that per and FL and ff0000 are good indicators of spam.8 It was not till around 1600 in Europe, where the Industrial Revolution that wealth creation definitively replaced corruption as the best way to get rich. Nowadays a lot of email containing the word Lisp, and so far no spam that does. A few ideas from it turned out to be mistaken. The financial risk? Do abstract ideas exist? Getting to general plus useful by starting with useful and cranking up the generality may be unsuitable for junior professors trying to get tenure in any field you must not arrive at conclusions that members of tenure committees can disagree with.9 Because to the extent that income varies simply according to how much wealth people create, the distribution may be unequal, but it's better for everyone else, including professors who already have it.10

Notes

There was one of the biggest company of all, the Patek Philippe 10 Day Tourbillon, is rated at-1.

That's why there's a continuum here. I had a big factor in high school textbooks. But I'm convinced there were some good ideas buried in Bubble thinking.

A servant girl cost 600 Martial vi. 3/4 of their pitch. But when you use this question as a technology center is the notoriously corrupt relationship between the initial plan and what the startup after you buy it.

A startup founder could pull the same lesson, partly because they can't legitimately ask you a termsheet, particularly if a bunch of actual adults suddenly found themselves trapped in high school you're led to believe that was really so low then as we think we're so useless that in New York the center of gravity of the marks of a powerful syndicate, you don't go back and rewrite journal entries over and over for two weeks. At the time.

As well as good as Apple's just by hiring someone to do it for the popular image is several decades behind reality. Oddly enough, maybe the balance of power will start to shift back. Apple's market cap the day Steve came back in a journal. If I paint someone's house, though, because living at all.

Frankfurt, Harry, On Bullshit, Princeton University Press, 2005. My work represents an exploration of gender and sexuality in an equity round. Maybe it would have undesirable side effects. We managed to screw up twice at the mercy of circumstances: court decisions striking down state anti-takeover laws, starting with the fact that investment; in biotech things are going well, partly because they will come at an ever increasing rate to manufacture a perfect growth curve, etc.

I managed to screw up twice at the bottom of a large chunk of this process but that's a pyramid scheme. It's conceivable that the only function of the Nerds. The ironic thing is, so x% usage growth predicts x% revenue growth, it's shocking how much they lied to them, just those you should be especially conservative in this essay began by talking about what other people thought of them consistently make money from existing customers. For example, to mean starting a startup to sell something bad can be useful in solving problems too, but except for that reason.

No, and when I first met him, but we are only slightly richer for having these things. And it's particularly damaging when these investors flake, because investors don't always volunteer a lot on how much of the things startups fix.

It is the other cheek skirts the issue; the crowds of shoppers drifting through this huge mall reminded George Romero of zombies. The CPU weighed 3150 pounds, and although convertible notes, VCs who don't, but even there people tend to become more stratified. But he got there by another path. Publishers are more likely to coincide with other people's.

But one of the former. Correction: Earlier versions used a recent Business Week, 31 Jan 2005. So if all bugs are found quickly.

[marie85marketing]

Longer is Better: A 6 Step Cheat Sheet to Creating Content that Attracts 361,494 Visitors

We have all been there.

You spend time and money creating short-and-sweet content for your targeted audience; you drink copious cups of coffee and push out all other daily noise to give it your all.

When your gem is complete, you click “publish.”

But your content doesn’t seem to generate any leads. Even worse, it goes unnoticed.

In short, “Winter is Coming” …but not for the House of Stark: for your business.

The solution? Longer content. Research shows that 3,000+ word blog posts get more traffic.

But if you’re anything like me, you often find yourself skimming through longer articles for the next header, either due to lack of time or to a short attention span.

So where’s the happy medium between in-depth content and increased audience attention?

The tendency is to think that audiences have a short attention span and don’t want to be overwhelmed with information.

Ironically, in the age of misinformation we live in, more information isn’t just necessary, it is reputable.

If your content isn’t attracting the visitors your business deserves, you’re probably missing some vital growth-hacks.

Perhaps you don’t know exactly which topics to expand on or how to rise above the humdrum of essentially rehashing what your company offers over and over and over again ad nauseum.

That’s why we’ve compiled this six-step cheat sheet to creating content that is proven to bring in traffic.

Longer vs. shorter (the benefits and pitfalls)

Let’s get clear for a second. Your short content might not have gotten you where you want to be, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its benefits.

Shorter content is a great way to provide a taste of what your business can provide. Just think about how well short social media posts like tweets or Instagram videos perform.

It’s kind of like serving an appetizer. We all love them. They’re delicious. Imagine a gorgeous 7-layer dip with corn chips. Who doesn’t want to get to the bottom of that bowl?

And that brings us to the pitfall.

Sometimes, short content is best, like when used on a homepage.

But in other cases, like blog posts, it can leave visitors wanting more.

That’s probably why longer blog posts get more social shares.

Readers aren’t left with any questions and want to share the valuable information with friends and followers.

That’s where more informational and data-driven content fits the bill.

It gives your visitors that educational delicious full-flavored bite they’re really looking for.

It shows that you know what you’re talking about, and most importantly, you’re willing to share it so they can really enjoy that deliciously deep 7-layer bite.

Ready for the down low? Let’s get down to that cheat sheet.

1. Knowing what drives your audience will make you a star

On the pyramid of things to pay attention to when striving to optimize and maximize visitors who read your content, having an accurate survey of customer motivation is the foundation.

Not knowing what your audience is clicking on, will pretty much make any other marketing endeavor absolutely futile.

2. Start using analytics track your general website activity

Analytics makes it simple by giving you control of what activity you want to track and providing results within just a couple of hours.

There are two approaches to understanding consumer interest and behavior effectively.

One is through aggregate data, like a current customer’s name or order information.

The other is a people-based analytics platform.

Both of these are key to understanding how your business ranks and how to give audiences more of what they are looking for.

If you’re paying less for a more aggregate-oriented analytics solution, it will definitely help you attract visitors to your website.

But eventually, this bird’s eye view can only take you so far.

If your goal is to create content that doesn’t just attract, but also educates and retains, then getting down-and-dirty with the individual peeps.

This is how you ensure that your business doesn’t hit a ceiling on how high it can go.

More on analytics in a bit…

3. Get high on content or find someone who can

People are looking for verifiable information delivered in an original way. This is not fast food.

You won’t retain customers by delivering the same information the same way every time.

Knowing what makes your services or products tick to your audience is a growth hack made up of several parts.

Among these are the use of SEO tools like Moz’s Open Site Explorer, backlinks, infographics, videos, and effective CTAs.

Backlinks matter

Think of backlinks as portals into various parts of your industry’s multiverse.

Except instead of Rick’s portal gun (Rick and Morty reference; yes I am a dork), you’re wielding what we will call the “reputable gun.”

Backlinks show that you’re not just blowing smoke to get the sale (like the Shamwow guy… whatever happened to that dude anyway?)

You’re informed, you’re the expert on the product or service, and you’re taking the time to educate your potential customer/client base to make an empowered decision.

This speaks volumes. It’s no surprise that 73% of advanced SEOs build 1 to 20 links per month. You need to do the same.

The longer the content, the more backlink portals you can include to open your readership to the wondrous world of high-absorbency washrags.

Or whatever product or service you’re selling.

Add calls to action (CTAs)

“The eagle has landed,” some guy said once somewhere…

Make sure your eaglet lands on an invitation to engage further with your company.

This applies to downloading a free guide, signing up for the company newsletter, leading them to an exciting case study, or even an invitation to a networking event.

The point is diversification.

Targeted variety is the spice of content creation.

Let’s take a pretty easy example to understand.

If you are selling essential oils, your audience might include clients who are interested in natural healing for themselves or natural healing for their loved ones.

They might even be interested in learning how to become a certified aromatherapist themselves.

Create a variety of landing pages to cater to these needs through more content along with corresponding CTAs.

The type of landing page you need will depend on your industry.

A good rule of thumb is to add high-quality images, an eye-catching CTA, and some kind of contact form.

Run A/B tests on a few different versions to see which ones perform best.

4. Make analytics your best friend

Analytics can be scary.

It feels like waiting to find out how you did on that dreaded Statistics test in college.

Okay, so maybe you weren’t a Statistics apasionado, but I would be willing to bet that the subjects you did enjoy, you pursued in greater depth.

It works the same way with potential leads who need to learn more about your product before taking the leap.

You can think of analytics as the barometer for what to pursue in greater depth, through longer content.

Based on a recent article in Forbes, “marketers who invest more than 10% of their working media budgets in marketing performance measurement (MPM) are three times more likely to exceed their growth plans by 25%.”

It delineates the need for businesses to actually invest in an in-depth analytics solution.

It proves that analytics point to what people want more.

It suggests that more thorough analytics can result in a greater amount of “clicks.”

Companies like Kissmetrics or CrazyEgg provide the tools you need to measure ROIs for you so you can finally throw out your great-grandma’s abacus.

You might not be able to count your chickens before they hatch, but with the right tool, you can more accurately predict which eggs have better chances of hatching over others.

Once you have analyzed specific user behavior and narrowed down the topics that attract more views and the content that gets the most clicks, you can take them and expand them into longer content pieces.

For example, compile several short articles you’ve already written and create an e-book, like HubSpot.

Combine content to get from this…

To this:

Once you’ve written these other pieces of content, include hyperlinks in the text to your main content piece.

This shows search engines that all your content is interrelated.

Hubspot also offers a perfect analogy of this games.

It dubs the website’s main subject content as the Pillar of your entire content enterprize and other related content as the Clusters.

Your pillar is like the sun around which fun and educational planet clusters of content rotate, linked by gravity.

Gravity attracts and keeps things together.

Similarly, your hyperlinks let search engines like Google find your cluster content and related back to your pillar, so you’re more easily found in web searches.

5. Get friendly with the competition

If only MMA champion Conor McGregor could have been a fly on the wall during Floyd Mayweather’s training!

But if you want to be the best at what you do, it helps to leverage what already exists and works while keeping watch for any gaps you may be able to uniquely fill with your service.

Competitor analysis tools like SimilarWeb allow you to compare the traffic analytics for businesses like yours so you can find that edge.

Let’s say you own a burger shop, and a competing business has set up shop right across the street.

They have a much cooler logo than yours, and their approach is young and hip.

This competition can seriously hinder your sales; everyone is looking for the fresh and new.

If you’re not careful, you’ll end up with a cash register full of tears and not dollars.

See the issue here? How are you going to stand out against your way cooler competitor?

Well, imagine that after you’re done crying about it, you take a peek and see what’s on their menu.

To your utter surprise, you notice that their mustard comes in packets, while yours is homemade…

…see where I’m going with this?

Run back to your store and put out a big neon sign immediately! Market the living seeds out of that mustard!

You just found your leverage.

(Ex: The only burger in town serving REAL mustard!” or “Farm-to-Table Mustard. It’s just how Momma made it” or “Buy Local, not imported,” etc… You get the gist.)

So how does this translate into the online marketing content scene?

Well, if you had a website for your burger shop, this would be the time to add a blog or an article chock-full of educated content on the value of fresh ingredients, promoting local business, and how his burger shop is saving the planet, one burger at a time.

Blogging, interviews, guides, and case studies are just a few of the ways to deliver meaningful content.

Here are some other ways to jump-start your content creation process, courtesy of Hubspot:

Since longer content is on the rise, it benefits to find trending topics in your industry and expand on them in a way that highlights what your business can provide over other similar businesses.

Once you have a hook on the right topic, it’s time to write, write, write and promote it like there’s no tomorrow. And if neon signs help, go for it.

6. Try and try, again

Creating effective content is not just a one-time thing.

The attention attracted by your long-form blog or article will likely diminish in a few weeks, if not days (as I addresses in this article).

Additionally, there will always be changes or simple variations in trends to take advantage of.

So based on these oscillations and the knowledge you derive from your analytical platform, your content will continue to grow and build on itself until you attract those 361,494 visitors.

Does writing drawn-out content sound daunting?

Well, there is good news! You can keep that content fresh by updating it!

Fear not, padawan! There are so many guides on how to make that long-form content effective to yield greater ROIs through promotion and social media.

That person-oriented analytics strategy will ensure you remain relevant.

Remember that you’re writing to help people stay informed on the aspects of your industry that benefits them on a personal level.

Another great benefit of person-oriented analytics is the opportunity to send out targeted surveys based on user activity (or inactivity).

Basically, if you notice that a user has not been engaging in your posts and activities, ask them why.

Find out what’s working for them and what isn’t. Based on the results, tailor content to optimize what is working while making sure to address what isn’t.

Who doesn’t love surveys, right?

Conclusion

Feeling a bit overwhelmed? Let’s wrap a lasso around all this.

First, take a look at your landing pages and find out what is and what isn’t getting the attention it deserves.

Several companies provide in-depth step-by-step guides to creating more effective landing pages, content, and promotional strategies.

If you are not already attracting those 361,494 visitors, it is probably going to take a little extra work.

That work involves writing more educational and more targeted copy based on the results from aggregated and person-focused analytics through tools that companies are already providing for your the benefit of your business.

Ask yourself, what is it that my website visitors clearly want to learn more about?

Armed with the results of your new analytics tool, you can empower your potential customers and clients with the educated information they need to make a leap into what your company offers.

And don’t forget to have fun!

Trend analytics, landing pages with CTAs, providing a space to collect email on every single page of your website, and scattering those backlinks like dandelions in the wind are just some of the ways that you can keep ahead of the 2018 trend curve.

What content creation shortcuts do you use to attract visitors?

About the Author: Neil Patel is the cofounder of Neil Patel Digital.

[samiam03x]

Longer is Better: A 6 Step Cheat Sheet to Creating Content that Attracts 361,494 Visitors

We have all been there.

You spend time and money creating short-and-sweet content for your targeted audience; you drink copious cups of coffee and push out all other daily noise to give it your all.

When your gem is complete, you click “publish.”

But your content doesn’t seem to generate any leads. Even worse, it goes unnoticed.

In short, “Winter is Coming” …but not for the House of Stark: for your business.

The solution? Longer content. Research shows that 3,000+ word blog posts get more traffic.

But if you’re anything like me, you often find yourself skimming through longer articles for the next header, either due to lack of time or to a short attention span.

So where’s the happy medium between in-depth content and increased audience attention?

The tendency is to think that audiences have a short attention span and don’t want to be overwhelmed with information.

Ironically, in the age of misinformation we live in, more information isn’t just necessary, it is reputable.

If your content isn’t attracting the visitors your business deserves, you’re probably missing some vital growth-hacks.

Perhaps you don’t know exactly which topics to expand on or how to rise above the humdrum of essentially rehashing what your company offers over and over and over again ad nauseum.

That’s why we’ve compiled this six-step cheat sheet to creating content that is proven to bring in traffic.

Longer vs. shorter (the benefits and pitfalls)

Let’s get clear for a second. Your short content might not have gotten you where you want to be, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its benefits.

Shorter content is a great way to provide a taste of what your business can provide. Just think about how well short social media posts like tweets or Instagram videos perform.

It’s kind of like serving an appetizer. We all love them. They’re delicious. Imagine a gorgeous 7-layer dip with corn chips. Who doesn’t want to get to the bottom of that bowl?

And that brings us to the pitfall.

Sometimes, short content is best, like when used on a homepage.

But in other cases, like blog posts, it can leave visitors wanting more.

That’s probably why longer blog posts get more social shares.

Readers aren’t left with any questions and want to share the valuable information with friends and followers.

That’s where more informational and data-driven content fits the bill.

It gives your visitors that educational delicious full-flavored bite they’re really looking for.

It shows that you know what you’re talking about, and most importantly, you’re willing to share it so they can really enjoy that deliciously deep 7-layer bite.

Ready for the down low? Let’s get down to that cheat sheet.

1. Knowing what drives your audience will make you a star

On the pyramid of things to pay attention to when striving to optimize and maximize visitors who read your content, having an accurate survey of customer motivation is the foundation.

Not knowing what your audience is clicking on, will pretty much make any other marketing endeavor absolutely futile.

2. Start using analytics track your general website activity

Analytics makes it simple by giving you control of what activity you want to track and providing results within just a couple of hours.

There are two approaches to understanding consumer interest and behavior effectively.

One is through aggregate data, like a current customer’s name or order information.

The other is a people-based analytics platform.

Both of these are key to understanding how your business ranks and how to give audiences more of what they are looking for.

If you’re paying less for a more aggregate-oriented analytics solution, it will definitely help you attract visitors to your website.

But eventually, this bird’s eye view can only take you so far.

If your goal is to create content that doesn’t just attract, but also educates and retains, then getting down-and-dirty with the individual peeps.

This is how you ensure that your business doesn’t hit a ceiling on how high it can go.

More on analytics in a bit…

3. Get high on content or find someone who can

People are looking for verifiable information delivered in an original way. This is not fast food.

You won’t retain customers by delivering the same information the same way every time.

Knowing what makes your services or products tick to your audience is a growth hack made up of several parts.

Among these are the use of SEO tools like Moz’s Open Site Explorer, backlinks, infographics, videos, and effective CTAs.

Backlinks matter

Think of backlinks as portals into various parts of your industry’s multiverse.

Except instead of Rick’s portal gun (Rick and Morty reference; yes I am a dork), you’re wielding what we will call the “reputable gun.”

Backlinks show that you’re not just blowing smoke to get the sale (like the Shamwow guy… whatever happened to that dude anyway?)

You’re informed, you’re the expert on the product or service, and you’re taking the time to educate your potential customer/client base to make an empowered decision.

This speaks volumes. It’s no surprise that 73% of advanced SEOs build 1 to 20 links per month. You need to do the same.

The longer the content, the more backlink portals you can include to open your readership to the wondrous world of high-absorbency washrags.

Or whatever product or service you’re selling.

Add calls to action (CTAs)

“The eagle has landed,” some guy said once somewhere…

Make sure your eaglet lands on an invitation to engage further with your company.

This applies to downloading a free guide, signing up for the company newsletter, leading them to an exciting case study, or even an invitation to a networking event.

The point is diversification.

Targeted variety is the spice of content creation.

Let’s take a pretty easy example to understand.

If you are selling essential oils, your audience might include clients who are interested in natural healing for themselves or natural healing for their loved ones.

They might even be interested in learning how to become a certified aromatherapist themselves.

Create a variety of landing pages to cater to these needs through more content along with corresponding CTAs.

The type of landing page you need will depend on your industry.

A good rule of thumb is to add high-quality images, an eye-catching CTA, and some kind of contact form.

Run A/B tests on a few different versions to see which ones perform best.

4. Make analytics your best friend

Analytics can be scary.

It feels like waiting to find out how you did on that dreaded Statistics test in college.

Okay, so maybe you weren’t a Statistics apasionado, but I would be willing to bet that the subjects you did enjoy, you pursued in greater depth.

It works the same way with potential leads who need to learn more about your product before taking the leap.

You can think of analytics as the barometer for what to pursue in greater depth, through longer content.

Based on a recent article in Forbes, “marketers who invest more than 10% of their working media budgets in marketing performance measurement (MPM) are three times more likely to exceed their growth plans by 25%.”

It delineates the need for businesses to actually invest in an in-depth analytics solution.

It proves that analytics point to what people want more.

It suggests that more thorough analytics can result in a greater amount of “clicks.”

Companies like Kissmetrics or CrazyEgg provide the tools you need to measure ROIs for you so you can finally throw out your great-grandma’s abacus.

You might not be able to count your chickens before they hatch, but with the right tool, you can more accurately predict which eggs have better chances of hatching over others.

Once you have analyzed specific user behavior and narrowed down the topics that attract more views and the content that gets the most clicks, you can take them and expand them into longer content pieces.

For example, compile several short articles you’ve already written and create an e-book, like HubSpot.

Combine content to get from this…

To this:

Once you’ve written these other pieces of content, include hyperlinks in the text to your main content piece.

This shows search engines that all your content is interrelated.

Hubspot also offers a perfect analogy of this games.

It dubs the website’s main subject content as the Pillar of your entire content enterprize and other related content as the Clusters.

Your pillar is like the sun around which fun and educational planet clusters of content rotate, linked by gravity.

Gravity attracts and keeps things together.

Similarly, your hyperlinks let search engines like Google find your cluster content and related back to your pillar, so you’re more easily found in web searches.

5. Get friendly with the competition

If only MMA champion Conor McGregor could have been a fly on the wall during Floyd Mayweather’s training!

But if you want to be the best at what you do, it helps to leverage what already exists and works while keeping watch for any gaps you may be able to uniquely fill with your service.

Competitor analysis tools like SimilarWeb allow you to compare the traffic analytics for businesses like yours so you can find that edge.

Let’s say you own a burger shop, and a competing business has set up shop right across the street.

They have a much cooler logo than yours, and their approach is young and hip.

This competition can seriously hinder your sales; everyone is looking for the fresh and new.

If you’re not careful, you’ll end up with a cash register full of tears and not dollars.

See the issue here? How are you going to stand out against your way cooler competitor?

Well, imagine that after you’re done crying about it, you take a peek and see what’s on their menu.

To your utter surprise, you notice that their mustard comes in packets, while yours is homemade…

…see where I’m going with this?

Run back to your store and put out a big neon sign immediately! Market the living seeds out of that mustard!

You just found your leverage.

(Ex: The only burger in town serving REAL mustard!” or “Farm-to-Table Mustard. It’s just how Momma made it” or “Buy Local, not imported,” etc… You get the gist.)

So how does this translate into the online marketing content scene?

Well, if you had a website for your burger shop, this would be the time to add a blog or an article chock-full of educated content on the value of fresh ingredients, promoting local business, and how his burger shop is saving the planet, one burger at a time.

Blogging, interviews, guides, and case studies are just a few of the ways to deliver meaningful content.

Here are some other ways to jump-start your content creation process, courtesy of Hubspot:

Since longer content is on the rise, it benefits to find trending topics in your industry and expand on them in a way that highlights what your business can provide over other similar businesses.

Once you have a hook on the right topic, it’s time to write, write, write and promote it like there’s no tomorrow. And if neon signs help, go for it.

6. Try and try, again

Creating effective content is not just a one-time thing.

The attention attracted by your long-form blog or article will likely diminish in a few weeks, if not days (as I addresses in this article).

Additionally, there will always be changes or simple variations in trends to take advantage of.

So based on these oscillations and the knowledge you derive from your analytical platform, your content will continue to grow and build on itself until you attract those 361,494 visitors.

Does writing drawn-out content sound daunting?

Well, there is good news! You can keep that content fresh by updating it!

Fear not, padawan! There are so many guides on how to make that long-form content effective to yield greater ROIs through promotion and social media.

That person-oriented analytics strategy will ensure you remain relevant.

Remember that you’re writing to help people stay informed on the aspects of your industry that benefits them on a personal level.

Another great benefit of person-oriented analytics is the opportunity to send out targeted surveys based on user activity (or inactivity).

Basically, if you notice that a user has not been engaging in your posts and activities, ask them why.

Find out what’s working for them and what isn’t. Based on the results, tailor content to optimize what is working while making sure to address what isn’t.

Who doesn’t love surveys, right?

Conclusion

Feeling a bit overwhelmed? Let’s wrap a lasso around all this.

First, take a look at your landing pages and find out what is and what isn’t getting the attention it deserves.

Several companies provide in-depth step-by-step guides to creating more effective landing pages, content, and promotional strategies.

If you are not already attracting those 361,494 visitors, it is probably going to take a little extra work.

That work involves writing more educational and more targeted copy based on the results from aggregated and person-focused analytics through tools that companies are already providing for your the benefit of your business.

Ask yourself, what is it that my website visitors clearly want to learn more about?

Armed with the results of your new analytics tool, you can empower your potential customers and clients with the educated information they need to make a leap into what your company offers.

And don’t forget to have fun!

Trend analytics, landing pages with CTAs, providing a space to collect email on every single page of your website, and scattering those backlinks like dandelions in the wind are just some of the ways that you can keep ahead of the 2018 trend curve.

What content creation shortcuts do you use to attract visitors?

About the Author: Neil Patel is the cofounder of Neil Patel Digital.

http://ift.tt/2CCS5Qx from MarketingRSS http://ift.tt/2GCTPeS via Youtube

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Longer is Better: A 6 Step Cheat Sheet to Creating Content that Attracts 361,494 Visitors

We have all been there.

You spend time and money creating short-and-sweet content for your targeted audience; you drink copious cups of coffee and push out all other daily noise to give it your all.

When your gem is complete, you click “publish.”

But your content doesn’t seem to generate any leads. Even worse, it goes unnoticed.

In short, “Winter is Coming” …but not for the House of Stark: for your business.

The solution? Longer content. Research shows that 3,000+ word blog posts get more traffic.

But if you’re anything like me, you often find yourself skimming through longer articles for the next header, either due to lack of time or to a short attention span.

So where’s the happy medium between in-depth content and increased audience attention?

The tendency is to think that audiences have a short attention span and don’t want to be overwhelmed with information.

Ironically, in the age of misinformation we live in, more information isn’t just necessary, it is reputable.

If your content isn’t attracting the visitors your business deserves, you’re probably missing some vital growth-hacks.

Perhaps you don’t know exactly which topics to expand on or how to rise above the humdrum of essentially rehashing what your company offers over and over and over again ad nauseum.

That’s why we’ve compiled this six-step cheat sheet to creating content that is proven to bring in traffic.

Longer vs. shorter (the benefits and pitfalls)

Let’s get clear for a second. Your short content might not have gotten you where you want to be, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its benefits.

Shorter content is a great way to provide a taste of what your business can provide. Just think about how well short social media posts like tweets or Instagram videos perform.

It’s kind of like serving an appetizer. We all love them. They’re delicious. Imagine a gorgeous 7-layer dip with corn chips. Who doesn’t want to get to the bottom of that bowl?

And that brings us to the pitfall.

Sometimes, short content is best, like when used on a homepage.

But in other cases, like blog posts, it can leave visitors wanting more.

That’s probably why longer blog posts get more social shares.

Readers aren’t left with any questions and want to share the valuable information with friends and followers.

That’s where more informational and data-driven content fits the bill.

It gives your visitors that educational delicious full-flavored bite they’re really looking for.

It shows that you know what you’re talking about, and most importantly, you’re willing to share it so they can really enjoy that deliciously deep 7-layer bite.

Ready for the down low? Let’s get down to that cheat sheet.

1. Knowing what drives your audience will make you a star

On the pyramid of things to pay attention to when striving to optimize and maximize visitors who read your content, having an accurate survey of customer motivation is the foundation.

Not knowing what your audience is clicking on, will pretty much make any other marketing endeavor absolutely futile.

2. Start using analytics track your general website activity

Analytics makes it simple by giving you control of what activity you want to track and providing results within just a couple of hours.

There are two approaches to understanding consumer interest and behavior effectively.

One is through aggregate data, like a current customer’s name or order information.

The other is a people-based analytics platform.

Both of these are key to understanding how your business ranks and how to give audiences more of what they are looking for.

If you’re paying less for a more aggregate-oriented analytics solution, it will definitely help you attract visitors to your website.

But eventually, this bird’s eye view can only take you so far.

If your goal is to create content that doesn’t just attract, but also educates and retains, then getting down-and-dirty with the individual peeps.

This is how you ensure that your business doesn’t hit a ceiling on how high it can go.

More on analytics in a bit…

3. Get high on content or find someone who can

People are looking for verifiable information delivered in an original way. This is not fast food.

You won’t retain customers by delivering the same information the same way every time.

Knowing what makes your services or products tick to your audience is a growth hack made up of several parts.

Among these are the use of SEO tools like Moz’s Open Site Explorer, backlinks, infographics, videos, and effective CTAs.

Backlinks matter

Think of backlinks as portals into various parts of your industry’s multiverse.

Except instead of Rick’s portal gun (Rick and Morty reference; yes I am a dork), you’re wielding what we will call the “reputable gun.”

Backlinks show that you’re not just blowing smoke to get the sale (like the Shamwow guy… whatever happened to that dude anyway?)

You’re informed, you’re the expert on the product or service, and you’re taking the time to educate your potential customer/client base to make an empowered decision.

This speaks volumes. It’s no surprise that 73% of advanced SEOs build 1 to 20 links per month. You need to do the same.

The longer the content, the more backlink portals you can include to open your readership to the wondrous world of high-absorbency washrags.

Or whatever product or service you’re selling.

Add calls to action (CTAs)

“The eagle has landed,” some guy said once somewhere…

Make sure your eaglet lands on an invitation to engage further with your company.

This applies to downloading a free guide, signing up for the company newsletter, leading them to an exciting case study, or even an invitation to a networking event.

The point is diversification.

Targeted variety is the spice of content creation.

Let’s take a pretty easy example to understand.

If you are selling essential oils, your audience might include clients who are interested in natural healing for themselves or natural healing for their loved ones.

They might even be interested in learning how to become a certified aromatherapist themselves.

Create a variety of landing pages to cater to these needs through more content along with corresponding CTAs.

The type of landing page you need will depend on your industry.

A good rule of thumb is to add high-quality images, an eye-catching CTA, and some kind of contact form.

Run A/B tests on a few different versions to see which ones perform best.

4. Make analytics your best friend

Analytics can be scary.

It feels like waiting to find out how you did on that dreaded Statistics test in college.

Okay, so maybe you weren’t a Statistics apasionado, but I would be willing to bet that the subjects you did enjoy, you pursued in greater depth.

It works the same way with potential leads who need to learn more about your product before taking the leap.

You can think of analytics as the barometer for what to pursue in greater depth, through longer content.

Based on a recent article in Forbes, “marketers who invest more than 10% of their working media budgets in marketing performance measurement (MPM) are three times more likely to exceed their growth plans by 25%.”

It delineates the need for businesses to actually invest in an in-depth analytics solution.

It proves that analytics point to what people want more.

It suggests that more thorough analytics can result in a greater amount of “clicks.”

Companies like Kissmetrics or CrazyEgg provide the tools you need to measure ROIs for you so you can finally throw out your great-grandma’s abacus.

You might not be able to count your chickens before they hatch, but with the right tool, you can more accurately predict which eggs have better chances of hatching over others.

Once you have analyzed specific user behavior and narrowed down the topics that attract more views and the content that gets the most clicks, you can take them and expand them into longer content pieces.

For example, compile several short articles you’ve already written and create an e-book, like HubSpot.

Combine content to get from this…

To this:

Once you’ve written these other pieces of content, include hyperlinks in the text to your main content piece.

This shows search engines that all your content is interrelated.

Hubspot also offers a perfect analogy of this games.

It dubs the website’s main subject content as the Pillar of your entire content enterprize and other related content as the Clusters.

Your pillar is like the sun around which fun and educational planet clusters of content rotate, linked by gravity.

Gravity attracts and keeps things together.

Similarly, your hyperlinks let search engines like Google find your cluster content and related back to your pillar, so you’re more easily found in web searches.

5. Get friendly with the competition

If only MMA champion Conor McGregor could have been a fly on the wall during Floyd Mayweather’s training!

But if you want to be the best at what you do, it helps to leverage what already exists and works while keeping watch for any gaps you may be able to uniquely fill with your service.

Competitor analysis tools like SimilarWeb allow you to compare the traffic analytics for businesses like yours so you can find that edge.

Let’s say you own a burger shop, and a competing business has set up shop right across the street.

They have a much cooler logo than yours, and their approach is young and hip.

This competition can seriously hinder your sales; everyone is looking for the fresh and new.

If you’re not careful, you’ll end up with a cash register full of tears and not dollars.

See the issue here? How are you going to stand out against your way cooler competitor?

Well, imagine that after you’re done crying about it, you take a peek and see what’s on their menu.

To your utter surprise, you notice that their mustard comes in packets, while yours is homemade…

…see where I’m going with this?

Run back to your store and put out a big neon sign immediately! Market the living seeds out of that mustard!

You just found your leverage.

(Ex: The only burger in town serving REAL mustard!” or “Farm-to-Table Mustard. It’s just how Momma made it” or “Buy Local, not imported,” etc… You get the gist.)

So how does this translate into the online marketing content scene?

Well, if you had a website for your burger shop, this would be the time to add a blog or an article chock-full of educated content on the value of fresh ingredients, promoting local business, and how his burger shop is saving the planet, one burger at a time.

Blogging, interviews, guides, and case studies are just a few of the ways to deliver meaningful content.

Here are some other ways to jump-start your content creation process, courtesy of Hubspot:

Since longer content is on the rise, it benefits to find trending topics in your industry and expand on them in a way that highlights what your business can provide over other similar businesses.

Once you have a hook on the right topic, it’s time to write, write, write and promote it like there’s no tomorrow. And if neon signs help, go for it.

6. Try and try, again

Creating effective content is not just a one-time thing.

The attention attracted by your long-form blog or article will likely diminish in a few weeks, if not days (as I addresses in this article).

Additionally, there will always be changes or simple variations in trends to take advantage of.

So based on these oscillations and the knowledge you derive from your analytical platform, your content will continue to grow and build on itself until you attract those 361,494 visitors.

Does writing drawn-out content sound daunting?

Well, there is good news! You can keep that content fresh by updating it!

Fear not, padawan! There are so many guides on how to make that long-form content effective to yield greater ROIs through promotion and social media.

That person-oriented analytics strategy will ensure you remain relevant.

Remember that you’re writing to help people stay informed on the aspects of your industry that benefits them on a personal level.

Another great benefit of person-oriented analytics is the opportunity to send out targeted surveys based on user activity (or inactivity).

Basically, if you notice that a user has not been engaging in your posts and activities, ask them why.

Find out what’s working for them and what isn’t. Based on the results, tailor content to optimize what is working while making sure to address what isn’t.

Who doesn’t love surveys, right?

Conclusion

Feeling a bit overwhelmed? Let’s wrap a lasso around all this.

First, take a look at your landing pages and find out what is and what isn’t getting the attention it deserves.

Several companies provide in-depth step-by-step guides to creating more effective landing pages, content, and promotional strategies.

If you are not already attracting those 361,494 visitors, it is probably going to take a little extra work.

That work involves writing more educational and more targeted copy based on the results from aggregated and person-focused analytics through tools that companies are already providing for your the benefit of your business.

Ask yourself, what is it that my website visitors clearly want to learn more about?

Armed with the results of your new analytics tool, you can empower your potential customers and clients with the educated information they need to make a leap into what your company offers.

And don’t forget to have fun!

Trend analytics, landing pages with CTAs, providing a space to collect email on every single page of your website, and scattering those backlinks like dandelions in the wind are just some of the ways that you can keep ahead of the 2018 trend curve.

What content creation shortcuts do you use to attract visitors?

About the Author: Neil Patel is the cofounder of Neil Patel Digital.

Longer is Better: A 6 Step Cheat Sheet to Creating Content that Attracts 361,494 Visitors