#but apparently no one else thought it was important 😔

[braceletofteeth]

No thoughts! Head full of 🌻

[tswwwit]

28.7% of you voted for this filth

NSFW! Here's some smut.

This won the poll, and here's what I ended up giving you in return. My condolences for this entire thing. 😔

Highlight below for kink/content warnings

Dom/sub, mild bondage, dirty talk, prostate massage, creampie/cum kink, mirror sex

Now here's the actual fic!

Dipper forces himself to turn away from his phone.

He takes a deep breath. Tapping his pen on the paper, where he has notes to make. Really important ones. In theory. 

Right now, he could be making progress on any of the dozen mysteries on his plate, or unraveling another half-dozen demonic plots.

Hell, there’s even peace and quiet. 

Being in Bill’s bedroom - their bedroom - means he has something like. Well. A secret lab, though a weird one. Definitely a private sanctum. Their room in the Fearamid is a profoundly private space to work in -  as long as Bill's not around - because nobody else would ever dare intrude. 

Time, and space, and power. Knowledge, even. Everything Dipper could ever ask for. For finding focus. For doing good.

Dipper catches himself looking at his phone again. This time, he gives it the glare it truly deserves.

It really is gaudy as hell, isn’t it. An eyesore if there ever was one. What a shame that magical function doesn’t always fit an aesthetic; golden’s what he’s stuck with, as long as he wants this thing to work.

The flipside is that nobody can deny that his phone’s very functional. 

No other device has interdimensional reception. Making calls even between other realms of existence, texting between worlds. Best phone connection in this segment of the multiverse, courtesy of one accidental life bond.

Dipper can’t exactly sell the patent, though. Since it’s partially created from semi-illegal bits scavenged from Ford’s lab, partly from a concoction of spells of his own creation -

And partly from Bill’s own exoskeleton. Hence the gaudiness.

Plus the internet gets finicky, which is kind of a hiccup. And while a life-bond makes it work, the average magic-user doesn’t have a good conversationalist at the other end. Sometimes the connection gets garbled, or the thing itself corrupts other magic around it. Apparently it radiates an aura, too. One that Dipper can’t feel, but is ‘vaguely creepy’.

But even Bill admitted the design was impressive, and that’s an accomplishment in any entity’s book. Sincere compliments from Bill freakin’ Cipher are very, very hard-won. He’s seen basically everything, knows so much, and what Dipper came up with was, quote, ‘pretty cool!’. 

Inevitably, Dipper finds himself staring at his stupid phone again.

It’s the way it catches the light, he swears. He’d spraypaint it if he could without compromising the spellwork. Like the major part of its physical makeup, it’s ridiculous, showy, and overly complicated. 

And oddly tempting.

Dipper keeps tapping his pen, point down, on the paper. He doesn’t have anything to write down at the moment, though he feels like he should. Even though he has the time to work out a thousand other things, a million investigations, his thoughts keep drifting towards. Other stuff.

Which is so dumb. Dipper could be doing any number of things, with all the power and knowledge he has on hand. Unfortunately, his stupid brain and dick are full of ideas too, and they’re ganging up on him. It’s very distracting.

If only things were more difficult, this wouldn’t be an issue.

Because if Dipper really wants a distraction, it's a phone call away. Basically no effort at all. He could have it within minutes - theoretically - because Bill tends to like this sort of thing. He’d be game for it, any time.

Dipper plants his elbows on his desk, and rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands.

But there’s so many reasons not to do it. 

Bill’s not here, for one. Dipper would be interrupting his entire ‘business’ day, and throwing a wrench into his ‘work’. He doesn’t know precisely what Bill’s up to this time, but there’s thousands of plans Bill could be enacting. Millions of beings to torment, or terrify. Bugging him for something this petty, pointless, and kind of perverted, is -

…Another reason Bill would like it. 

And, technically preventing evil from happening. Distraction goes both ways; Bill can’t do two things at once. 

Dipper glares down at the paper in front of him. No words there, just an exercise in abstract pointillism. 

Great. Now he’s talking himself into this. 

It wouldn’t even be difficult. No fire, no fighting, no clever mind games. Hell, Dipper could just literally just call, or even like, text, or something, and it’s not like he’d get a no.

Or rather, he might get a no. But it’d be with some very distracting responses that’d derail his own day, with a promise to make up for Bill’s absence. A sincere one, for once. 

Nobody else could get that. Not from Bill. Sincerity. Earnestness. Even if it’s about his desire, it’s something so rare that it’s almost - 

Dipper sets the pen down with a decisive click. 

Screw it. 

He’s young, he has…. Feelings about stuff. Ones that he can actually do something about, unlike his awkward teenage years. With someone who thinks he’s hot. 

Really, he’d be betraying himself by not taking advantage. There were times he would have done way more embarrassing things, for far less attention. 

Dipper nods to himself, and picks up the phone. 

Worst case scenario, Bill’s too caught up in stuff to duck out, and he has to wait a few hours. Best case Bill’s going to be distracted himself, Dipper gets something he wants - and less evil happens. A win three times over.

…And maybe he shouldn’t have put his phone on silent, because he has over forty missed messages.

Dipper turns that off, and starts scrolling. Up, then down again. 

There sure is. A lot.  

Bill’s sent ninety percent of the texts in the last half hour, every one of them in his typical all-caps. Without any bragging, hardly any bullshit, and basically zero smug asides. Not even a bunch of cryptic comments about what a clever demon Bill is. 

Dipper starts smiling.

Guess things aren’t quite what Bill was expecting when he took up this latest ‘business’ trip. 

In fact, if Dipper’s any expert - and he is - Bill’s been having a shitty day. 

So. It’s not selfish, really, to want him to get up to something else. It’s actually a fantastic idea. 

Dipper taps the phone against his chin. End goal in mind, plan… not created yet. That requires some thought. 

Does he just... Ask? It seems simple enough, but how is he supposed to phrase it. One way seems too forward. Another one might sound like some weirdo stole his phone. Can’t get too subtle, either, Bill’s missed it when he veiled it too much before….

Dipper manages to come up with two or three lines that aren’t totally cringy, before the buzz against his face interrupts his train of thought.

Bill, again. More messages in his ranting missive.

“SUMMONS, FOR CHAO’S SAKE. DOES THIS GUY EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS OR DID HE JUST PICK UP THE RIGHT INTERDIMENSIONAL PHONE BOOK”

“I’M CONSIDERING DELETING MOST OF THIS GALAXY NEXT CHANCE I GET. JUST TO GET RID OF THE CONTACT INFORMATION”

“A SUMMON IS NOT A *SERVANT* FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THERE”S A DEAL AND EVERYTHING”

“DO THE WORDS ‘CONTRACTOR AGREEMENT’ MEAN ANYTHING OR DOES IT GO IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER TWO”

“WHY DO YOU CONTACT AN EXPERT AND NOT TAKE THE ADVICE??? IT WAS ALMOST FREE!”

Dipper rolls his eyes. 

Yet another reason he should go ahead with his idea. If he doesn’t nip the complaining in the bud soon, Bill’s going to ramble on forever. 

Serves him right, anyway. Bill may not be able to be summoned to Earth, but he’s sure as hell still taking calls from other realms. Dipper can’t even tell Bill he’s sorry one’s gone wrong; it’d be too obvious a lie. He’ll settle for not commenting.

Dipper taps the back of the phone for a second, thinking. Then responds.

“I take it you’re not having much fun”

“OH NO, I'M HAVING A HELL OF A TIME”

“COULDN’T FIND A BETTER PARTY AT THE INTERGALACTIC DMV”

Not a great sign. Bill knows that Dipper doesn’t want to know the details of his work - but the metaphor’s a clue. That it’s complicated, and annoying. 

Dipper frowns. There’ll likely be a wait. 

“So… pretty busy.”

“YEAH THIS COULD DRAG ON”

“SERIOUSLY SCREW THIS GUY THOUGH. CAN’T TAKE A HINT, CAN’T MAKE HIS OWN PLOTS? I’M UP TO HERE WITH THIS LOSER.”

“THE SECOND I CAN PULL A DECENT DOUBLE-CROSS I’M GOING FOR IT”

Huh. Usually Bill’s better at finding chances. Dipper doubts the summoning was that ironclad; loopholes are too common. More likely than not, Bill simply hasn’t found something entertaining enough yet.

“I’m surprised you haven’t found one already.”

“HEY! DOUBLECROSSING IS AN ART, KID.”

“GOTTA COME UP WITH JUST THE RIGHT THING TO REALLY RUB SOME SULFURIC ACID IN THE WOUND”

“Yeah, fine”

Yep. Just like he thought. Dipper sticks his tongue out at the screen. 

Typical Bill. Can’t get his ass off the metaphorical couch unless it’s interesting. Without the promise of a prize at the end, Bill’s more likely to laze around with a martini than put effort into complicated plans. Or chores. Even if he could literally wave his hand and take care of things, if it’s not entertaining-

Actually.

There’s an idea.

Dipper hops up from his seat and heads over to his dresser. Tugging the middle drawer open, and rifling through it until he finds the prize. The slick black wood is easy to find, he hasn’t moved it in a while. 

He drops down on the bed this time, and sets the box on his chest. Heart beating a bit faster, a little tense with nerves. A little excited. He sends the next message in a rush.

“Maybe I could help out?”

“WOW!! THAT'S A FIRST! PINE TREE, I’M BOTH INSULTED YOU THINK I NEED IT AND FLATTERED YOU OFFERED!”

“ALRIGHT WHAT’S GOING ON” 

Dipper unlatches the box, and picks up the collar. 

The black leather is soft between his fingers. He lets it dangle for a moment, tag jingling slightly as he holds it above his face. It’s not heavy with anything but implied meaning.

This particular item doesn’t see a ton of use. It’s not always the right time, because Dipper’s not always in the right mood. Once it is, though. When Dipper puts it on….

That’s. Offering power to an infinite being of pure energy, who shouldn’t even need the token to take it. And once he has it, he’ll be very, very thorough about using it. Something that sounds pretty intimidating, because it is pretty intimidating. 

Right now, if Dipper’s being honest with himself - it kinda sounds great. It’s always worked out really well for him. 

And there’s no way Bill won’t find this interesting. 

“Thought I could uh. Give you some motivation?”

“???”

Welp. Here goes. 

Without hesitating (much), Dipper wraps the collar around his neck and clasps it shut.. Feeling a light chill from the golden triangle tag on his neck, just above his collarbone. The leather not-quite tight against his throat. 

He shuffles into the blankets, getting comfortable. Time to go for it. 

Clearing his throat, and breathing in, then out, Dipper holds his phone up with both hands. He takes the picture.

…it doesn’t look as cool as he thought it would.

The first three don’t look great. Another he’s not - well, a glare can be sexy, in Bill’s mind, but this one just shows how annoyed he is with trying to take a stupid picture. 

Dipper spends longer than he wanted just futzing with the camera and the view he’s about to provide. Bill’s a stickler for angles especially, Dipper wants to get it right.

Another buzz from his phone. Damn it, he should just send something, he’s leaving Bill hanging. For once, Dipper has like, some kind of ‘seduction’ momentum going, he can’t lose it now. 

He holds his phone up again, and makes himself relax. Just a pic, doesn’t need to be fancy. 

Dipper smiles, tilting his head back, neck arched with its strip of black leather fully on display. He snaps the photo and hits send before he can hesitate. Take that, second-guessing, Dipper got ahead of it this time.

Maybe it’s not the best photo, but it doesn’t have to be great. Just as long as it shows the important parts. Dipper’s not trying to do a model shoot for crying out loud. He’s just. Sending an invite.

One he hopes Bill will accept.

He lasts about three seconds before he nervously adds a text. Just in case Bill got the wrong idea. Not that Dipper’s sure what that would be, but still.

“Bedroom in half an hour?”

He’s left on read for a full, anxious two seconds.

“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“YOU KIDDING? BE THERE IN THE”

"*TREE"

“THRE MAYBE FIVE"

"OKAY TEN MINUTES TOPS”

“DON’T GO ANYWHERE”

Dipper drops back on the bed, letting out a soft laugh. 

Wow. That was easy. 

Somewhere, through their bond, Dipper can feel Bill bustling around at a far distance. The trip back’s going to be a bit, he guesses. 

Dipper sets his phone on the bedside table - then pauses. Heart beating a little faster, a tent in his pants -  then tugs the drawer below it open. They’re going to need the lube soon anyway. Might as well snag it. 

Still, the bed’s comfy and Dipper wasn’t doing anything anyway.  He settles down to mess with the internet on his phone - spotty, again, it never works right in Bill’s place.

About nine minutes later, he realizes he’s obsessively checking the door now.

Totally normal, though. Bill’s usually later than he says he’ll be. Dipper knew he was in for a wait, though for once he’s oddly impatient. As soon as Bill gets here, he’s going to - 

…Not be able to do much, since Dipper basically has nothing set up but the lube. Might as well get on that now before it makes another delay.

Dipper sighs, shrugging his shirt off, and kicking off his shoes. Shuffling out of his pants, and casting them aside. The underwear has to go, too. Last time Dipper tried a ‘seduction’ with his boxers still on, Bill teased him about it. 

Lube, check. Collar, on. Being naked in their bedroom isn’t uncomfortable even on top of the blankets, with that eternal fireplace burning. Dipper kicks the last leg of his boxers off just as the thumping of footsteps sounds from outside the door.

Eleven minutes of waiting. Something to tease Bill about in a minute. 

Then a thud. The locked knob jiggles for a moment. A muffled swear - then the brief zap of the magical locks unclicking.

Bill’s not only eager, it’s like he’s worried that he’ll miss out on the chance. Like Dipper would pull this and take off, leaving Bill to arrive back at an empty bedroom.

Which, okay. Dipper could. But he’s not going to. Bill may be a multiversal asshole, but he’s done nothing to Dipper to deserve it.

Years ago, he wouldn’t have had any reason to send racy messages to someone. Knowing any picture he did send would get an ‘ew’ or a ‘why’. 

Clearly, he hadn’t met the right person yet.

It’s really hard not to smile, so Dipper doesn’t even bother trying.

The door to their bedroom slams open, and Bill Cipher emerges. Still holding the door handle, arms spread wide with a wild, brilliant grin on his face. 

Dipper sits up, gives him a little wave, and a slow onceover - 

Then raises an eyebrow.

Bill’s grinning. Bill’s delighted. He’s full of all his impeccable confidence, radiating ‘infuriatingly smug’ in a way that Dipper could spot through a blindfold -

But his hair is rather messy, and his suit is in ruins. 

Bill stalks forward, and the door slams shut behind him as he starts undoing his tie. “Well, well, well, well, well!” His tongue runs briefly over his teeth, eye roving. “What have we here!”

Dipper shrugs. Normally he’d have a response, but. Eying Bill again doesn’t change the disaster of his clothing.

There’s certainly a lot of something on Bill’s jacket. Greenish stains, brown on his cuffs. Odd purple flecks gobbed on him like clumps of glue. Typically when Bill’s had a summon, he ends up in less dire sartorial straits. There isn’t much blood - Dipper doesn’t think any of it is Bill’s, it’s too drippy - but the stains are unmistakable.

The shirt’s also very. Holey. It’s surprising Bill hasn’t made a pun before stripping it off.

“What happened to you?” Dipper folds his legs under himself. Bill’s still his focus, but now the interest is less specific. “Bad spell? Weird summoner?” Another lookover; it makes him grimace. “A toxic waste dump?”

“There was a lotta stuff around for the summoning. No biggie.” Bill shrugs, nonchalant. He flicks an unidentifiable blob goo off his sleeve, offering Dipper an impeccable smile. “And when things go south in a deal, sometimes you gotta get a little hands on!”

Dipper folds his arms, and says nothing.

“Now look at you!” Bill practically purrs, striding in to flick the tag on the collar. His eye roves over Dipper, gleaming bright. “What a style! Coming from a fashion-comatose guy like you, of all places.” He tucks two fingers under the collar, and leans in with a leer. “I could get used to this.”

“Don’t count on it.” Dipper dodges the finger to his chin. In his peripheral vision, he catches Bill looking disappointed. “You’re not getting anything at the moment.”

Dipper knew what he was implying with his. Invitation. The terms were set a while ago, and the sign of their ‘deal’ is wrapped around his neck. He knows that Bill’s supposed to be in charge -

But, like. There are some limitations.

“Aha! So that’s the game today, huh?” Bill  rubs his hands together, eye lighting up. “I can-”

“Nope.” Dipper smacks a palm on Bill’s chest. Bill blinks, but stops gloating enough to look surprised. “Hold on a minute.”

“What?”

“You’re a wreck, Bill.” Like it wasn’t obvious. Bill glances down at himself. A flicker of a grimace crosses his face, and Dipper gives him a couple quick pats on the chest. “Go clean up first.”

“Oh, is that the problem?” Bill’s grin returns, leaning in anyway. Dipper dodges the kiss, only to have it land next to his ear. Squirming doesn’t help, because Bill plants a few more, nipping briefly at his earlobe - and chuckles. “I thought you liked things messy.”

Dipper feels heat rise into his face. Now he gives his idiot husband a shove. “Not like this.” 

“Aw, c’mon!” Bill puckers up to an absurd degree, hands clasped near his chest. “Give your husband a smooch. It’s the least you could do!”

“Nope.” Dipper isn’t going to smile. It’d only encourage him. His next push doesn’t move this obnoxious dick, so he gets up to add more force behind the shoving. “Go on, get moving.”

Bill starts cackling. Dipper ends up having to dig his feet in the carpet, bearing down as Bill keeps trying to kiss his face, nudging him in the vague direction of the bathroom. Adding an elbow, for emphasis. At this point, he’d settle for getting Bill to the dresser to change. 

“What, not into the acid-splattered gooey look?” Bill backs up slowly as Dipper presses him along, with a teasing grab or two at his butt - though eventually, he raises his hands. “Alright, alright. Hang tight here. I’ll be back in a sec.” 

Bill clicks his tongue as he finally backs into the bathroom with double finger guns and a wink. Dipper flips him off, just because. Sticking his tongue out in Bill’s direction for good measure - then at the mark on his left palm.

Off in the bathroom, he hears a distant chuckle.

Not the most elegant start to the evening. But then, he doesn’t think they’ve ever had one. 

Dipper sits back down on the mattress. Bouncing in place a few times. At least the bed is comfy. Waiting here is more than tolerable. It’s not even chilly, with the eternal fire burning in that fireplace. 

A little more waiting won’t matter, anyway. Bill will be out within moments, as quick as he can; Dipper can hear the rush of water, and his husband humming a cheery tune to himself. 

Once Bill’s done changing. Once he’s wiped off the residue and changed his clothes. He’ll be ready, and wanting things from one young human, who’s - not technically helpless, but for the moment pretending to be. He could make all kinds of demands.

Dipper runs a finger under the collar. 

Bill’s enthusiasm, in fact, carries over into all the things he does. Especially when he wants to entertain, or if he’s on a mission to conquer. 

Technically this situation qualifies for both.

Dipper rubs his slightly damp palms on his thighs, and breathes out slowly.

He can already imagine Bill bursting into the room, with a show of power. Throwing the door open, alight  with fire, full of all the energy and violence that a nightmare demon can display. His strong arms braced against the doorframe, and a wicked grin on his face. Ready to shamelessly ogle the present he’s arrived to collect.

The lube’s close by. Dipper fumbles for the bottle and clicks it open. 

It’s cool against his palm and cooler against his dick as he takes himself in hand.

He already knows what Bill looks like when he’s naked, and it’s easy to picture the lean lines of him, all the bare skin and the shape of his muscles. Bill’s unfortunately attractive. Oddly compelling. Dipper has to hand it to himself; he did an amazing job on the human shape, even unintentionally.  

The form enhances what should be absurd. Someone. Demanding. Conniving and evil and selfish, taking what he wants, and he wants Dipper, badly. Undeniably so; Dipper's felt it before, in his palm or in his mouth or inside him. 

Letting a slow sigh, Dipper rests back on the bed. He slows in his strokes, running his thumb over the head of his dick.

Soon, Bill will loom over Dipper and take him by the collar, tugging him up with undeniable force and an evil grin. Maybe with his pants unzipped, his thick cock hard and -

“Already getting started, are ya?”

With instincts long-honed from many lonely nights, Dipper yanks the blanket over himself. 

“Aw, someone’s shy!” Bill walks closer, wearing both a smug look and a fresh set of clothes. He throws in a wink in response to Dipper’s glare, and starts rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. “Ease up already. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Right. Just Bill. Dipper feels his shoulders drop; he still flips Bill off again, out of sheer contrariness. Bill may have seen everything before, but he also didn’t have to make a startling entrance. Probably part of the fun for him. Because he’s a jerk.

Dipper sighs, and tosses the blanket away. “You could have told me you were ready.”

“Oh, I’m more than ready.” Bill responds easily. He waves off Dipper’s comment as he walks to the side of the bed. As he draws his arms apart, a thin line of black connects them. Pulled straight into existence, with all the power he has. And winks. “I’m prepared.”

Dipper swallows, touching the collar again. His eyes follow the long, long line of the leash, held in Bill’s solid grip.

He knew what he was in for. What he signed up for, technically. Having it be so certain makes him want to tremble - and also makes his traitorous dick very, very hard.

Bill stalks in, nudging Dipper’s chin upward with a grin - and clicks the lead onto the collar.

He nods to himself, once. Wraps the very end of the leash around his palm. Then simply stands there, hands on his hips. “Go on.”

That’s. Kind of a vague prompt. Dipper hesitates, he’s not sure what to do- 

“I mean, don’t stop the show, sapling.” Bill settles back, tucking his thumbs into his pockets with a wicked smile. “Touch yourself.”

“Oh.” Dipper feels his heart start to race. 

Bill’s watching intently, with a pleased smirk on his face, expecting his ‘show’ -  And, while he’s ogled Dipper going at this before, it wasn’t in this context. 

Typically, Dipper doesn’t let Bill push him around. Definitely never listens to his weirder requests. But this time, Dipper asked for it. He knew what he was getting into. When he called Bill over. When he made himself available, when he invited Bill to take advantage of it - and that means following Bill’s lead.

Dipper lies back on the mattress. Shutting his eyes, and taking his dick in hand again. 

If he doesn’t look, he can pretend that Bill’s not watching. Not that it helps much. Jerking off feels different, it’s hard to keep it slow. Bill’s keeping quiet, but Dipper can feel his gaze on his skin like heat.

“That’s it.” Bill’s voice drops a little, lower and more intent. “Very nice.”

Dipper keeps his eyes shut. Now he presses his lips together to cover a moan. Knowing Bill’s watching him always makes him self-conscious no matter what he’s doing. Especially with this. Keeping note of how he holds himself, to how much Bill can see - whether he should arch up or angle himself differently, it’s embarrassing and exciting, like the picture he sent but with Bill right there watching. Dipper burns with awareness, and heat rises into his face.

There’s a soft shuffle of steps. Like Bill’s getting closer - no, he is, Dipper can tell by the pleased sound he makes. “Spread your legs.”

Demanding as always; why does he have to, isn’t this enough? Dipper’s already so exposed and - There isn’t much space, sitting like this -  but he lies back and props his feet on the bed. Knees lifted and legs open. 

There’s a soft click, and a softer groan. Dipper blinks an eye open. 

Bill’s undone his belt; his fly open and his pants pushed slightly down. He’s hard and standing out against his shirt, at least as turned on as Dipper is - and taking himself in hand with slow strokes that Dipper watches with a sharp spark of arousal. 

Maybe it’s more like outright staring. Who cares; Bill’s doing it right back to him, fair’s fair. 

Dipper tightens his grip. Dick throbbing at the knowledge that Bill likes what he sees. Knowing he’s admiring him, that for some reason Bill loves watching this, he’s said as much before.

None of which helps Dipper keep the pace slow, he’s wanted to come for a while and now he could, if it wouldn’t ruin the upcoming events.

“Now that’s what I like to see.” Bill sets a palm below one of Dipper’s raised knees, sliding it downward. “Every bit of my eager little mortal, ready for me.” His eye trails over Dipper’s own frantic grip on his dick, stroking himself at a far more measured pace. Watching Dipper like he’s fascinating, like this embarrassing display is a delight. “All mine.”

“Shut up. It’s not -” Dipper wants to clamp his legs together, but Bill shoves them back apart. Thumbs tracing the skin of Dipper’s thighs, leaning in to plant a kiss on the skin. Dipper takes another breath. “I just wanted…”  He stumbles over what he was going to say, as Bill settles in between his legs, leaning over him - and Dipper lets his head drop back with a groan. “Fuck.”

“Oh sure, in a minute. Though honestly, I could watch this all day!” Bill keeps petting his legs, and yeah, definitely looming - while looking terrifically smug about it. “But I think you called me in ‘cause you wanted a hand.”

“Yeah.” Of course Dipper wants a hand, or. More than that. He could jerk off anytime, that’s simple, he didn’t need to get Bill involved for that. It's just that what Bill does to him is so much better. ”Please.”

Bill hums for a moment, considering his prize. Tapping Dipper’s sides briefly, before leaning in to lick at his nipple, sucking it into his mouth before nipping, teeth light on the flesh. 

Dipper holds back a gasp. That sent a spark of heat right down to his dick. Bill’s tongue lathes over it again, warm and wet, while he takes the other between two fingers, rolls it around, and pinches, both sharp and good.

“God.” Dipper keeps a deathgrip on his dick, slowing down. The other grips Bill’s hair. He’s not sure if he wants to push him in or pull him away - and Bill’s hum against his chest sounds like he’s covering a laugh. “You bastard.”

Bill mutters something that might be ‘you like it’, shoulders shaking with amusement. Moving on, and kissing further down Dipper’s stomach. Much less intense. Warm, and pleasant. Dipper lets out a held breath. 

Only to pull another in, quick, because now Bill’s switched. Taking the already teased one in hand to roll and pinch when it’s already oversensitive from his tongue. It’s a bright shock of pleasure, of pain, and Dipper arches up with a gasp, before clasping his free hand over his mouth.

“Hey!” Bill stops his descent suddenly, pausing just above Dipper’s navel. He’s frowning, mouth inches away from Dipper’s dick. “What did I say about noises?”

Wait, why is Bill - Dipper sits up, blinking down at him.

He heard what Bill just said, but retorts are. Difficult right now. Made worse because he’s watching Bill’s lips, and the way his tongue moves, so close to where he wants them. 

But wait, right, he remembers this. It was…. Dipper stares at him, unable to think. “Uh.”

“It was ‘make lots of ‘em’, if you need the reminder. Say whatever comes to mind!” Bill slides his hands down Dipper’s chest, rudely squeezing his thighs again. His smile widens, bright with enthusiasm. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Dipper swallows. What Bill’s asking for is-

No, he can’t. He has so many thoughts, all the time, and during sex they’re all dumb and horny. Downright ridiculous. 

Right now, his mind’s drawing a blank. Even for the stupid stuff.

For Bill, it’s easy. He always says what he’s thinking, especially in bed. Hell, he can go on a full on monologue; has, at times, and it’s always something filthy and insane and arousing. Half of the things Bill says sound absurd in the light of day - but in the moment they’re actually pretty great. 

And Bill’s seen thousands of minds and dreams, he’s encountered every situation, seen infinite fantasies. Dipper doesn’t think he has enough imagination to get weird enough to match.

Dipper turns his head away instead, keeping his mouth shut. Hearing - and feeling - Bill’s impatient sigh.  

There’s also no way Bill’s going to move forward without being told something. But. Dipper can’t think of anything good.

After a moment, Bill smacks him lightly on the side. “Speak up already.” He plants another wet kiss on Dipper’s stomach, so close to his dick. Offering up a wide, teasing smile. “What do you want?”

A lot of things. Some other stuff. A myriad of ideas, none of which Bill knows about, because - 

Dipper sits up. The idea snaps back into place. 

Because Bill can’t get into Dipper’s head. 

He’s been million brains, encountered a million fantasies - but none of them are what Dipper thinks about when he jerks off. 

Dipper takes a slow calming breath. Bill’s been waiting, mouthing against his hip, hot breath ghosting over his groin. Distracting, but not enough to truly help.

In theory, this is simple. Just like his invitation, it doesn’t have to be perfect, so long as the intent is there.

Really, Bill might love whatever comes out of his mouth, because in this one, specific circumstance he’s not a mind-reader. It must drive him insane, that he can’t reach in and drag out every fantasy Dipper’s ever had, and use all of them against him.

And Dipper’s supposed to do what Bill wants.

Bill’s drags his teeth against the soft skin of his thigh, leaving red lines; his thumbs digging into the juncture of his hip fingers on his stomach - it’s a lot and not enough at the same time, it - 

Dipper shuts his eyes. Takes a shuddering breath, and says, “Feels good.”

“Is that so?” Bill’s voice drops to a purr. Dipper hears the bottle of lube click again. “How good?”

Just. Good? Dipper doesn’t know what to tell him, so he ends up saying, “A lot.” Then, “Can you use your mouth?” But that’s not quite it, and now that the words have started tumbling from him Dipper finds he can’t stop -  “And I really want you in me again.”

So awkward, without any of Bill’s eloquence. Dipper can’t match him, he just stumbles trying to get it out.

But the way Bill’s eye literally lights up makes Dipper feel a bit better. And the way he groans against Dipper’s skin, and sucks his cock into the hot wet of his mouth, dragging his tongue on the underside, makes it feel fantastically, absolutely better. 

Dipper bucks his hips up, tangling fingers in Bill’s hair. Urging him on. Bill moves with it easily, and Dipper feels a low vibration of a held back laugh that makes him groan.

Okay. Not exactly the hottest thing in the world, but, fuck, it didn’t have to be. If it works, it works; Dipper will take the embarrasment, and say way, way dumber stuff, all the time, if it gets Bill to do this. 

Bill pulls away, all too suddenly, leaving Dipper bereft and annoyed. Glaring up at Bill’s smug grin, and handsome face.

There isn’t any reason to startle when Bill’s finger pushes in, but. Well, the lube’s cold, and it was sudden. And also...

“Just one?” Dipper frowns up at Bill as his finger works slowly inside him, dipping in and out. Thin and firm, not nearly enough - and Bill’s smirking, too, the jerk. “You can do more than that.”

“I dunno. Should I?” Bill purses his lips, like he’s contemplating it. “I haven’t heard how it feels yet.”

This asshole. Dipper wants to swear, but. That’s useless, so he squeezes his legs around Bill instead.

This jerk just wants to drag things out, doesn’t he. Won’t let up until he’s satisfied. Bill might have control, sure. But he thinks Dipper’s hot, and that means there’s some leverage. 

Since Dipper's not getting what he wants. Then he’ll just have to tempt him. 

Bill wants to hear him? Fine, no more repressing. Even the soft panting has clearly raised his interest, and Dipper can totally do less to hold himself back.

“It feels great, okay?” Dipper glares up at him. Bill licks his lips, finger curling - and the involuntary moan Dipper lets out makes Bill’s cock visibly twitch. Dipper arches up and strokes himself again, while Bill’s occupied. “I can take more. I want it.”

Bill opens his mouth. Like he’s about to interrupt, or tease - Before he can say anything, Dipper reaches down and hauls Bill’s hand closer, urging it in.

He knows Bill can do worse. That he wants to be inside, so he’ll help him imagine what else he could be doing - 

“Ah ah ah! Fantastic performance, sapling.” Bill catches his wrists, forcing them up and away.  “Until you got too cocky.” And winks at his own awful pun. 

Damn it, Dipper wants to swat him. He was almost - he tries to yank away, but Bill’s too strong and his grip too tight. Leaning over him, and drawing his arms over his head. over him now, kneeling between his legs. 

Bill slides the collar to the side, wraps Dipper’s hands together with the long leather of the leash. Not tightly, but firm. He leans over Dipper, chest above his face - and damn it, Dipper’s halfway tempted to just bite some of the buttons of Bill’s shirt open. 

Then he sinks back, and grins. Dipper moves to swat him, and can’t. He yanks at the leash again, strains against it,  but there’s barely any give -

And when he glances up at the headboard, Bill’s looped the end onto a hook. The leather drawn tight, keeping Dipper's arms raised.

Glaring at Bill gets a temporary reprieve as Dipper glares at his restraint instead. Then back at Bill, who’s unbearably smug about his stunt. Dipper sinks back on the mattress with a huff. 

“Can’t have you coming too soon, y’know.” Bill releases his arms, tracing down Dipper’s neck, fingers trailing around the collar. And throwing in a wink for good measure. “Not when we got all night to play around.”

Oh god. That doesn’t bode well. Or rather, it does, but. In a very specific way. 

Dipper tugs at his restraints, arching up and finding no escape. Okay. Better brace himself. Bill’s always loved to torment; he’ll take his time with things. Touch and tease and taunt without truly being satisfying; he’ll make Dipper wait until it almost hurts; it’s going to be terrible and great, just like the demon himself. 

“Now!” Bill claps his hands together, rubbing them with anticipation. “Where were we?” Not waiting for a response before slipping a finger - no, two - back inside, rougher than before.. 

If Dipper does whimper, he’ll deny it later. It makes Bill raise an eyebrow, smile growing a fraction; Dipper pushes into his fingers only to find Bill retreating with a grin. He’s not going to let Dipper urge him on. Definitely won’t let him come by himself, or get there before he’s allowed. Everything’s under Bill’s control, something both incredibly frustrating and. Interesting.

And Bill’s too experienced. Bill’s too clever. The way he presses inside is unfortunately great. They’ve been together long enough that Bill knows exactly where he needs to touch, and does it with aplomb - 

And just enough to tease. 

Dipper clicks his teeth shut against another sound. Breathing slowly, and shutting his eyes.

The stretch is good. The pressure, so much better; warm and invasive. Arousing. Bill rolls inside him, presses and strokes, his hand pushing against Dipper hard - then retreating - only to fuck into him again like Bill could make Dipper a mess just with his hand. 

Which he is, the asshole. Because it is good. Really good. A firm pressure and a repeating touch, sending a throb of pleasure each time, and making precome drip from Dipper’s dick. Withdrawing, then returning with a hard push, in and out, a burst of pleasure only to deny it again. Slow, then fast. A quick slide and a long press that makes Dipper see stars in his vision, only to pull back out. It’s Bill, curling his fingers in the way that makes Dipper arch up and moan - then suddenly leaving him empty and nearly gasping.

Dipper can’t - His teeth are gritted, he doesn't want to sound so needy - but he whines, and doesn’t choke it back.

“Look at you. So responsive! You must have really missed me, huh?” Bill sounds delighted.  Adding a third finger - and this time Dipper couldn’t cover the whimper he makes even if he wanted to. “It’s adorable.” 

God, everything he’s doing is teasing. Deliberately not-quite-enough, on purpose. Keeping up that low, intense pressure without letting Dipper come, just driving him close to the edge and backing off like a bastard.

“It’d be easy to make you come like this.” Bill kisses down Dipper’s dick, then. Licking up the length with a wet sound that makes it jump under his tongue. He kisses the head with a smirk - “Could be fun to make you lose it.”

He could, he really could. His tongue on Dipper’s dick and his fingers inside - Dipper strains against the leash, swearing under his breath. It would be good, sure - but he wants to reach down. Make Bill do more. To stop the teasing and taunting, treat him rougher, and he ends up blurting, “Don’t.”

“Oh?” Bill curls his fingers; a firm shock of pressure, and the heel of his hand nudging his balls. Spreading wide inside him for an aching stretch.“Then why’d you call me here?”

“Because I wanted it.” Dipper says, out loud. Speaking is the only way to get Bill to move on, and it’s easier to ignore the embarrassment, when the burn of needing to come is so much more. Bill licks his lips, anticipatory - and Dipper admits, “I wanted you to fuck me.”

All he gets is Bill’s fingers withdrawing and that sucks. Dipper whines, teeth bared. Now he feels empty and urgent and Bill’s not touching him, the jerk.

“Well, why didn’t you say so!”  Bill shuffles his pants down, stroking another palmful of lube over himself, a little faster than usual.  “Not a problem. In fact,” He pushes Dipper’s legs further up, and winks. “It’d be my pleasure.” 

Dipper slumps. He goes with Bill’s positioning, rude and insistent, letting himself be pliable this time. Though he feels empty, he knows that won’t last, and he’ll have what he wants.

Finally. 

Bill rubs the head of his cock against Dipper, smugly enough to make Dipper swear - then laughing. Holding himself steady, and pushing in, just enough for Dipper to feel the slight jolt as the head enters - then withdraws again, tapping against him. A motion that doesn’t have any intent of really going for it -

Frustrated, Dipper tries hauling Bill in with his legs - for a moment, thinks he’s succeeded -  but Bill’s cock slips away to rest against him, brushing against Dipper’s own. It leaves Bill cackling with amusement; Dipper wants to swat him, or maybe kiss him. Since he can’t do either, he tugs at the leash again. “Bill.” 

“Gotta take my time, kid!” No remorse; the torturous bastard leans over him, and guides himself in, with a low, lingering stretch, one Dipper knows so well, heavy and hard inside.. Bill surges forward, fully seated and Dipper has to gasp, back arching -  “You’re always.” He shuts his eye, a brief flicker as his hips rock in. “So tight for me.” 

“Hn.” With nothing to protest, Dipper nods instead, rapid and eager. Bill’s cock hits just the right places, Dipper can’t help but move into it. Arching up, pushing his. his hips into that filling weight, feeling Bill fucking into him, deeper and so much that Dipper has to yank at his restraints - “You’re just. Too big.”

“So that’s what you were thinking about,” Bill hisses. There’s a throb inside, a surge forward that makes Dipper gasp, open his eyes. Seeing Bill’s own eye alight, glowing gold. The weight of his presence and his quickening pace makes Dipper want to grab at him, anything to get him closer. “That’s what gets you off.”

“Yeah.” Mostly what Dipper was imagining, but not quite - and shit, he should just say it. He could come like this, it’s good, it’s great, but Bill’s not quite putting his back into it the way Dipper would really like. If he’d do a little more, he could almost -  “Like. I wanted it and. I didn’t have to say it, you just.” He shuts his eyes, thinking about half-remembered sessions alone - “Come over and have me, because you want me.” He takes a shaking breath, Bill’s hands are suddenly tight on his hips - “‘Cause I feel too good.”

Bill swears, loud and urgent - and the next snap of his hips makes Dipper strain against his bonds. That’s it. Strong and demanding, and rough, he missed it. 

“You got that part right.” Bill breathy, his tongue flickering over his lips. He adds another startling pinch to a nipple that thrums down Dipper’s body, electric pleasure. “I’ll take everything I want from you.” A violent thrust, Bill’s breath hitching as Dipper moans -  loud enough to make him want to cringe -  but must Bill like it, because his voice lowers into a growl. “Have my way with you. Make you come on my cock.”

If he keeps this up. If Bill puts his back into it, Dipper would, definitely, it’s already a lot and nearly enough -

“Yes. Please.” Now that he’s started he can’t seem to shut his mouth. Thinking about Bill, shoving him down, or up against a wall, giving Dipper what he wants and then -  “And you’ll come in me. So much.” Dipper blurts, and hears Bill suck in a sudden breath. “You always - I really like it.”

Bill slows; he nearly stills in place. Dipper can see his chest heaving, his eye bright - Then he captures Dipper’s face with both hands, pulling him in for a kiss. 

Dipper opens up for it, groaning into it. Wanting to draw his arms down around the back of Bill’s neck. Since that’s impossible, he kisses back. Trying to tell Bill how much he needs this, with just his mouth.

Until this bastard, this asshole. This absolute monster, pulls away and out. 

Dipper nearly kicks him. He definitely swears. He needs to come and Bill’s being twice the bastard than usual; he tries to get a hold of his dick, but he’s trapped, left to writhe, helpless, with Bill staring down at him.

Bill shuffles out of his pants, unbuttoning his shirt. Looming over Dipper again, with his bare chest almost distracting from that horrible wide smile. So close, but so far away, unable to be touched - 

“Glad to hear it, kid,” Bill purrs, low and pleased. Jerking himself off again, quicker than before, his grip tight. “‘Cause I’ve been thinking about that all day.” 

Dipper’s eyes widen  - oh, he’s really going to -

And Bill slides inside again, the pressure heavy inside. Dipper groans at the return. Only one thrust, though. A brief second, Bill’s hips tight against his own -  then, fuck, Bill’s coming. Unmistakable, making Dipper whine between his teeth, muscles tensing. Watching the  flutter of Bill’s eyelashes, feeling his thick cock pulsing and the heat inside. And Dipper wants to match that pleasure, touch himself as well, get off, but Bill won’t let him. This is unfair. 

“How’s that feel, kid?” Bill asks, squeezing Dipper’s thighs for a moment, before he grasps Dipper’s dick and jerks it, with quick, effective motions. “Having demon come inside you.” 

Making words is a struggle, so Dipper simply nods again. Face burning, arms pressed together. He can feel it hot and deep inside and fuck, he does like it, he can’t hold Bill in place forever with his legs but he wants to keep as much as he can. Knowing how it means Bill wants him. How much he can make Bill feel good, and having the proof, right there.

Bill pulls out again, after a few slow thrusts, gazing down with a smug, satisfied look that Dipper wishes he was wearing. He wants Bill to come back. For him to fuck him, he’s left Dipper bereft and empty, with an aching throb between his legs. With urgency fading, and the pleasure dropping from the peak, it’s going to be a while before he gets to feel the same way. Building things back up is going to take so long.

Then Dipper’s arms are freed, and he’s hauled up to sit by the tight grip on the leash. The relief of that tension, at least, is something. Dipper rubs his wrists, blinking back at Bill. What -? 

The next tug forces Dipper up to his knees, and Bill draws him in for a kiss, free hand buried in Dipper’s hair. Dipper responds as best he can. Would love to grab Bill back, in the same way -  but his arms are shaking. He settles for touching Bill’s chest instead, in slow petting motions.

Bill makes a pleased sound, drawing back with a smile. “You like it better when I fuck you?” He prompts, shifting behind Dipper to grab his chin, tilting his head back. A firm thumb runs over Dipper’s bottom lip. “Or when I take your pretty little mouth?”

Which is - Dipper doesn’t know. He wishes he could think straight, but most of his thoughts are drawn to the unfulfilled throb in his groin. He likes taking Bill in his mouth, likes what Bill does to him in bed, all of it, he couldn’t choose - “I…  don’t know.”

“Eh, that’s fair! I couldn’t pick a favorite either.” Bill pats Dipper’s hip, drawing him in until his back is pressed against his chest. “It’s all fun.”

Then Dipper’s wheeled around, quick enough to be startling. Behind him, Bill settles down comfortably, drawing Dipper fully into his lap. 

It’s a comfortable enough position. Dipper even hears a soft ‘thump’ as Bill drops back against something soft. Likely he’s conjured another pillow pile, or something other surface to relax against. All cozy enough that Dipper would normally lean back with him, tuck Bill’s arms around him, and wriggle in an interesting way that might get him to help. 

Instead, he stares ahead for a long few seconds - then scrambles at the sheets in surprise. 

So much for the headboard. Bill’s taken a new tactic, thrown in a new addition. In this case, a very reflective one.

Dipper guesses the ‘show’ isn’t over. 

He blinks - his reflection blinks back at him - and Dipper’s suddenly nervous. He can’t back up, it only puts him further into  Bill’s grasp. “What-” 

“What a sight.” Bill sighs, sounding very, very pleased with himself. He grabs Dipper’s thighs, parting and squeezing them. “One of my favorites, honestly.”

The ‘sight’ is. Something.

Dipper stares at himself in the mirror. God, he looks like a total mess. Face red, marks from Bill’s mouth, hair disheveled - ‘fucked’ would be a good description, in multiple senses - And there’s Bill, sitting behind him with a smug, pleased grin. Dipper meets his gaze in the reflection momentarily -  then jerks his head away. He can’t look at this, it’s not -

“And why wouldn’t it be?” Bill continues. His breath is hot against Dipper’s neck, hands slipping around and under Dipper’s thighs - “When I get to see this.”

When Bill pulls his legs up, Dipper squirms - hard not to, he’s flexible but still, rude - and tenses at the sight. Bill’s a pervert, of course he likes staring at this, but Dipper can’t just. Look at what Bill’s done to him. Not without feeling a burn of shame and arousal curling in his stomach. Bill’s come has slightly spilled, wet on his thigh, dick still standing up, so obvious that he’s been taken and fucked, that he’s let himself be used, and behind him Bill’s practically gloating at how thoroughly he’s left his mark.

“I see you’re a fan as well!” Bill sounds all too chipper. He shifts slightly, nuzzling against Dipper’s shoulder. “You got good taste, kid.”

This jerk. Dipper’s brief attempt at glaring at him  means he catches sight of himself in the mirror. With his traitorous dick leaking a bead of precome, and his face so red, he looks like he’s sunburnt. 

“Y’know, I’d say how much I love fucking you, but eh. You won’t take my word for it. You’re a guy who loves having proof.”  Bill’s voice lowers, as he leans further back - “Good thing I left you plenty.”

Dipper glances at their reflection again, grimacing - then does a double-take. Because Bill’s cock has risen with interest again, nearly covering Dipper’s own embarrassing sight. And well. He’s only human. He might look a little bit longer at that. 

“You want another round?” Bill asks, almost nonchalantly, all-too innocent. Fuck, yes, of course Dipper does, he doesn’t know why Bill asked -  “You wanna come on my cock?” Dipper nods again; he swallows. Yes, he really does, he’s aching and empty and been left hanging - And Bill laughs.  “Then go ahead, sapling.” Voice lowered, deeply amused. “Put it in.”

Bill’s really going to make him - Dipper slumps a little, realizing that of course he is. Bill’s not in position to do it himself, and it’d be stupid to let him just poke around and hope it found its mark. If Dipper wants -  then he’ll have to - 

Dipper hesitates, then reaches down to get Bill into position. Hard and throbbing in his grip. Strokes it once, just to feel it, and hear Bill moan. Teamwork is rare, but as Bill lowers him slowly, Dipper adjusts his hips and holds him steady. 

The blunt head of Bill’s cock pops in easily; Dipper draws his hands back up. Glancing, inevitably, at his reflection.. He already knew Bill was impressive, he’s handled it hundreds of times. Watching is different.

The very sight of Bill’s cock entering looks so much more impossible than it is. Like it shouldn’t feel as good as it does. Dipper’s own cock twitches and he takes a quick breath, watching as Bill slides him down his length, inch by inch.

“That’s it. So ready for me.” Bill moves his hips in slow motions, small, teasing thrusts. A slow push-pull that makes Dipper want to slap his hands away and sit down, take the rest in already. With Bill holding him, all he can do is watch. As Bill guides it in, then draws back, nearly popping out before making him take more, and Dipper can see the length of his cock streaked with white from his previous release.  “Good boy.”

Dipper nearly shoves a hand into his mouth - no, he’s not supposed to cover the sound - then grips tight at the sheets instead. Shit, those words shouldn’t affect him this much, but they sound really good. Or maybe it’s the way Bill finally sets Dipper in his lap, fully seated, and lets go of his legs. One of the two leaves Dipper shaking, and pushing against that heavy length inside.

“Feel that?” Bill pushes his hips up, and Dipper whimpers. Being so full, so completely taken, he can feel it inside and it’s so much, enough to almost make him lose it- “You got all of it in, kid.”

Bill adds a particularly vicious thrust behind the words. No hesitation, no gentleness, and Dipper braces himself, getting his legs under him. Because he can take it, he wants to - and joke is on Bill; he has no idea what he makes Dipper feel. Why he asked for him. Why he thinks of him when he jerks off, and why he wants this, exactly this; Bill inside him, treating him roughly, it’s going to make him - 

Dipper’s aware he’s talking, this time. Making sounds, and words, both too loud and too embarrassing- but Bill got him started on it and now he can’t stop. A meaningless ramble, total nonsense about how it’s good, how he likes it, urging Bill to fuck him, no harder, all in a stream of thought that he can’t stop, even though his face burns.

Which Bill really likes.. Even his rhythm occasionally stutters. Like he can’t help but move when Dipper says something he truly likes, and that seems like every other word, with his touch constantly roving. Straying from Dipper’s hips, just to grope at his chest or his stomach or legs.

“You want it so bad. Like you were made for me.” Bill growls, finally setting his grip on Dipper’s waist, leaning back more to jerk up into him -  “Have you any time I want. My own personal slut.” Bill’s not only fucking up into him, he’s now holding Dipper tight, strong arms lifting and shoving him down, ; it takes everything to try and match his pace - “A perfect little toy.”

And Dipper would let Bill have him, like it if Bill took him, whenever. He could be trying to make notes at his desk and Bill would walk up and shove him down, taking him just because he wanted to, or was bored; make him kneel and suck his cock, heavy in his mouth - or sit in his lap, feeling Bill staying hard inside, impossible and inhuman, waiting for Dipper to be ready to get fucked again, fill him up with every load of come Bill has, over and over - Bill’s touching his dick, but he barely needs to stroke twice before Dipper’s coming in and over his hand. 

Behind him, Bill swears again, long and loud. Then he’s coming again, his chest heaving and his cock pulsing inside. Dipper pushes into it with a few nudges of his hips.

They sit there for a moment. Both catching their breath Dipper lets his head loll back. god he needed that.

Getting up should probably. Be one at some point. But Bill’s still petting his sides, and his legs feel like jelly. 

Lesson learned: Calling Bill over for this. For, essentially, a booty call, was a fantastic idea. No need to doubt it, it’s quick and effective and great. Absolutely the right choice. 

Cuddling like this is nice, but with the pleasure faded it’s. Vaguely sticky. Dipper shifts a bit, trying to get up the urge to move - but Bill takes the initiative, and Dipper lets out a little ‘mh’ as he’s lifted up and plopped on his side onto the mattress. The gesture’s oddly disappointing - 

“Ugh,” Bill groans, and follows a moment later. He tucks an arm under Dipper’s head, another pats his hip. “Y’know, I used to hear all the time about how getting hitched really killed the bedroom stuff.” His fingers idly trace nonsense patterns on Dipper’s side, over his stomach. “No idea what they were on about.”

Dipper huffs out a little laugh. Figures that Bill would pick up on that cliche, over all the time he’s been around. One even Dipper’s heard of, for that matter. 

All he can do is shrug. “They must be doing it wrong.” Dipper suggests. Behind him, Bill hums in agreement.

Not that Dipper really knows much about how other people go about their relationships; he’s only had the one himself. Plus, well, demon involvement, that always complicates things. Especially a marriage so strange and unnerving. Complicated, and weird, unexpected in some ways, a billion things. Something neither of the people actually in the damn thing have completely figured out.

Though Dipper can’t deny that it’s very functional. 

He wouldn’t trade it for anything else. 

When Bill nuzzles into his hair, Dipper takes his hand in his own. Holding it up against his chest, where Bill can feel the beating of his own heart. And because Bill is a jerk, he takes that chance to sneakily pinch a nipple again. Which leads to the predictable bickering, though it’s a little calmer than usual.

Eventually, it kind of just. Trails off. Dipper guesses they’re both too pleased to put real effort in, even for appearances. With a sigh, he rolls onto his back and stretches. Feeling a lingering ache, but mostly relaxed - and Bill’s warmth, so close, is adding to the latter. Plus, everything that Bill’s done to him. Even now, he feels a bit tingly from all the touch.

After a moment, he reaches up to the collar, lazily searching for the clasp.

“Hmmm.” Bill props himself up on one elbow, narrows his eye, and catches Dipper’s hand with his own. He draws it away from the collar, interlacing their fingers with a grin. “Not just yet.”

Oh. Surprising, but not unpleasantly so. Dipper glances down, then back up again. He gives Bill’s hand a squeeze, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Ahem.” Bill rises up, smacking a palm on his chest with pride. “You summoned me, sapling. Trust the contractor you contacted! I’m a real expert in this stuff, ya dig?”  He leans over Dipper, planting a kiss on his chest, then his shoulder. “And I don’t think you’re gonna be satisfied with just one.” 

Dipper swallows. Right now he’s doing just fine. Relaxed, a little achy, and satisfied. But. 

Okay, Bill does have a point; he was in a particular mood earlier. One that’s not completely gone. Even the suggestion has sort of exacerbated the problem.

Though he’d be an idiot not to make it a little tough for him. Just for kicks. 

“I summoned you for one thing,” Dipper retorts. He swats his husband on the top of the head, then squirms a little, like he’s about to wriggle out of his grasp. Predictably, Bill reacts by grabbing onto tighter. “You can’t change the deal now.” 

“Ha! Didn’t prepare for a double-cross, didja?” Bill draws him back down, looming once more. Pressing Dipper’s shoulders into the bed and grinning, white and wild. He clicks his tongue. “Classic rookie error.” 

“You monster.” Dipper presses the back of one hand to his forehead, turning his head to the side - and watches Bill’s shoulders shake with repressed laughter.  “I’ll need a minute, though.” Some people have a refractory period, for crying out loud.

“Sure, no problem! The night is young, so are you, and best of all,” Bill says, cheerful enough. He smacks another kiss on Dipper’s forehead, stroking his sides in a not-at-all subtly possessive gesture. He throws in a wink.  “I’ve got you right where I want you.”

Arrogant ass. Taking charge of things is par for the course, but now Bill’s acting like this was his idea. 

Fine, let him have it. It’s nothing but a pretense, anyway. Dipper rolls his eyes.

They both know who really had the clever idea this time. 

Though he does surge up, arms around Bill’s neck, to drag him in for a kiss. “Right back at you.”

[goldensunset]

there is another pokemon rival who gets worn down by the player constantly defeating them! Hop from gen 8 gets all sad and discouraged after losing over and over and it doesn’t help that his brother is the champion, so he has this whole arc where he ditches all his usual pokemon (including his childhood bff wooloo 😔) and tries using stronger ones. it doesn’t work and eventually he learns the power of friendship is more important than winning or something idk I never played the game. Kieran’s live joker arc is still way more compelling but I thought you’d like to know about this guy too

yeah!!! i know and love hop. i’ve only played the first 40 minutes of gen 8 myself (everything else i’ve learned through osmosis) but that was more than enough for me to feel bad for this guy tbh. constantly living in his brother’s shadow and all that. i don’t think there’s a single photo of him in his family home it’s like all covered in leon’s stuff like sheesh. what i’ve heard about hop is that he just gives up eventually and aims to be a professor even though apparently that came out of nowhere. that for sure qualifies as ‘getting worn down by the player’, and i was thinking about him while typing that, but like. getting worn down and giving up is just sad. it would be cool if it’s bc he realized he really did have a secondary dream that took precedence but otherwise it’s just the short end of the stick for him. i wish hop had been treated better by the story :(

way more compelling is kieran stubbornly refusing to let go of his dreams even if they seem out of reach and potentially destructive, then probably taking drastic measures towards them. and wow is that so in line with the overarching theme of sv- having a dream, chasing a dream, then having to reevaluate what it’s worth to you once it gets to a dangerous point. others have said this better than me. but the primary and most drastic example: blindly pursuing a reckless dream is what got sada/turo killed, isn’t it?

but liiiike. doubt anything that bad will happen for kieran unless he gets involved with the (/a) new legendary in the indigo disc that has crazy powers or something. i mean regardless they’re not gonna kill off a child character of course but i mean like i don’t know if i think kieran will get himself into any material danger on his quest to become stronger. but at the bare minimum he’s probably going to ruin some relationships. but then again wouldn’t it be so good if he actually did get manipulated by some insane higher power and did something drastic in exchange for strength. ok that’s besides the point but i would like to see it

the point is yeah chasing his dream might lead him off the deep end and i hope it does. i hope they don’t chicken out on this. especially given that his desire is, frankly, not very noble. my personal takeaway is that by the end it’s not even about ogerpon but it’s about revenge on the player. like he just has a vendetta now. that is suuuper interesting. idk if even your typical real official pokémon villain has ever had such a personal reason to hate the protagonist. ‘darn meddling kid!’ vs ‘you lured me in with the promise of friendship and then lied to me took everything from me and stomped on me’. like dude…

[icebluecyanide]

Alex Rider S03E02 Reaction

These were my first reactions to season three, completely unspoiled for the rest of the series, but of course, with significant knowledge from the books. With some thoughts and predictions thrown in too.

Anyway time to infiltrate some labs!

Liveblog

So many Yassen flashbacks bless

The letter to the prime minister! Love how it’s updated to be a USB stick or something. And a cool new Scorpia logo 👀

Are you… really going to just plug it into your laptop? Okay then lmao

‘We will deal only with the Department’ ahsdlfhs that is literally the vaguest name ever for a government department lmao at least add ‘MI6’ or something

17 years ago?? How old is Alex by now??

Some fascinating choices in how they changed the demands compared to the books 👀

‘Post it on tiktok’ ahsdlhs my brain can’t handle the idea that tiktok exists in the same world as Alex Rider

‘Maybe when she’s finished with Consanto’ lmao why is she telling him the name. Oh okay that’s why haha

Very suspicious of the new MI6 person lol. Like either it’s someone who is new enough to challenge the home secretary in a meeting or maybe they’re working for Scorpia. The timing is very convenient 👀

Lmao Mrs Jones is one day from retirement. RIP Mrs Jones

Tom just take the camera job 😭

“But we get to spend quality time together!” lmao Kyra

Why did Scorpia not do more to hide the background of the video ahsdlfhs

I guess the data scientist is probably not Scorpia but why is she not wearing the full protective gear lol. Why are she and Crawley in the field??

RIP new data scientist and RIP Mrs Jones’s retirement plans 😔

It is kind of interesting to me how Blunt is getting portrayed as super heartless for not reacting more to the death and coming off looking much worse than the rest in MI6/the Department while Scorpia is arguably the book where Blunt comes out looking best. But the show is quite focused on Blunt as the bad guy while everyone else gets humanised more

The way we keep getting these scenes of Kyra and Tom just watching Alex go off and do stuff lol

He’s not using the gloves!!!

Nile 👀 What a brutal throat blow gosh

Alex did you not hear about the detonation or….

Alex held his breath this time!!! He’s learning!!!

“An answer in the next sixty seconds is optimal” I love Nile so much gosh

Ohhh nice cliffhanger, I love Kyra and Tom not knowing if he’s alive or dead!

Overall

Very excited by that last scene! I love Nile so much already, he’s very cool and I love him offering Alex a one-time chance to get info, and how it ends with Tom and Kyra having no idea what happened with Alex. Nice to see some stuff with the Department too and the letter to the prime minister (that apparently didn’t reach the prime minister’s office lmao)

Thoughts/predictions

Not entirely sure what the point was with the new data scientist story except to make Smithers and Mrs Jones upset and look more emotional than Blunt. Like yes, it’s very sad but also I do question how good they are at their jobs if they react to every death like this. In general the show seems to be isolating Blunt from the rest of the department people a lot more than the books, but I like how he still comes across as better than the Home Secretary (who should be fired just for plugging in that USB stick into her laptop, frankly).

Nile is very cool and I love him. Do miss his more casual and cheerful attitude from the book though, but I’m super excited to see where this goes and where he takes Alex. He’s getting answers!! Love Nile casually playing the bomb and setting the timer and just asking the scientist guy questions about the cardboard cover.

It’s kind of ironic how they are not telling Tom’s brother about what is going on when in the books Tom immediately tells Jerry that Alex is MI6 despite Alex talking to him about the importance of not telling anyone haha. But I like how he did catch on. I assume maybe Tom will end up being his photographer, but Alex being assumed dead or missing is probably not helping.

It’s really interesting how the demands have changed and how it’s more UK focused, which makes sense since in the books the context was very much the Iraq war and Tony Blair/Alistair Campbell and the special relationship between the USA and the UK. But here I assume the reason Scorpia picked the UK is personal, because the Department dealt the blow that nearly finished them off 17 years ago. 

Questions

What’s up with the stuff in the box?? Were those toys? Children’s clothes? What is the Clean Room? What is Invisible Sword in this universe??

Is our dear friend Max still alive? I assume he may come back to meet Alex later given his comment about them meeting again in ep 1

Where is Yassen? 😢 I crave more than just flashbacks!

[otrtbs]

Hello love! Hope Scotland has been treating you well! What's the weather like over there? It's cold and wet here and there's a massive tree in my neighbours yard that keeps having it's branches broken off in the wind in the middle of the night (it's terrfying).

Here as this week's random questions! (as always you don't have to answer if you don't want to)

If you could change the colour of giffaree's skin, what colour would you change it to?

Would you commit murder if it meant that your pet got that person's remaining lifespan?

Do you watch movies/series on Netflix with or without the closed captions?

Tomatoes and Avocado(e)s (If you add an 'e' to tomatoes would you not also add one to avocado?) are they fruit or vegetables?

What makes you happier, someone making a playlist for you or someone annotating a book for you (both is also an acceptable answer)?

Would you ever marry someone solely for medical benefits/help them gain citizenship (to help you or them)?

Lastly, and most importantly, mushrooms. Do you eat them or are they disguisting?

Sorry that it's so long, I'm very curious today apparently. Please tell tcb I miss and love her. Ily and I adore you always <3

hello!! <3 Scotland is good! The last few days it’s been pretty nice outside w sunshine so I’ve been going out to parks and things!! It was pretty cloudy and slightly rainy today though!! (That tree sounds terrifying! Also I can only imagine the noise it makes?? It would scare me so bad in the middle of the night 😭)

omg yay I’m so excited !

1. I want giraffes to be neon pink. For no other reason than I think it would be very rad to see hot pink giraffes chilling and eating leaves and such ahdjfkska

2. I would not commit murder 😭 My pet would live but at what cost you know? I’d look at my little dog and feel guilty asf 😔

3. I need closed captions!!! My hearing is better with closed captions on I swear

4. Tomatoes and Avacado(e)s (you make a very good point) are fregetables 😌 (actually though I do want to say I lean more towards vegetables ig?)

5. SOMEONE ANNOTATING A BOOK FOR ME !!!! if you annotate a book for me I will fall in love you (fact). i don’t think there’s anything better. plus you get to know someone’s else’s thoughts and what they loved the most about a book and quotes they felt were important enough to underline (you can know someone so well by their annotations in a way sometimes I feel like you don’t get with Playlists idk)

6. I would marry someone for medical benefits/to help them get citizenship. I don’t think I would marry someone so I could get medical benefits or citizenship but if someone I knew fairly well needed help like that and it was the only thing I could do, I would it for someone else (if that makes sense?)

7. I do not eat mushrooms. I hate mushrooms. Every few years I try to eat a mushroom to see if my tastes have changed. They haven’t. Mushrooms are gross.

I love and adore you !! :,)) <3333

[some-different-account]

i subject my mum to my cds pt3: folie a deux by fall out boy

Following my mum saying that Cork Tree was too hardcore for her, I really wanted to show her Folie because of the style change. I was going to play this one anyway, but then I especially had to once she didn't like album #2 :) Me: "Are you ready for album 4? This one is a lot different to album 2, so much so that the existing fans hated it and the band went on hiatus for five years" Mum: "Whoa" [Important Revealation: it turns out that our radio screen won't display the titles for this cd, even though it did for everything else (except my mum's pre-2000 classical cds), so I had to read out the titles of songs for my mum as each one started] *after Water Buffaloes* Mum: "I liked that one" Me: "Good, because I like it too >:)" [one of my favs on the album]

*after I Don't Care* Mum: "What's this one called again?" Me: "I don't care" Mum: "Ok but I'd like to know anyway :)" *after I read out "Headfirst Slide Into Coooperstown On A Bad Bet"* Mum: "You think that title's in the song-" Me: "No" ... Mum: "This album sounds a lot more mainstream" [this is not a criticisism] Me: ":( it's their least popular onee" [or at least, it was at the time i guess] *Coffee's For Closures* Mum: "This song isn't too bad, I'm quite liking this album" Me: :D *What A Catch, Donnie* Me: "This one's the sad one" Mum: "Oh" ... *during the ending* Me: "This part was good because it was their past songs" Mum: "Oh I thought they were just talking in the background" Me: ":'( if you know their past songs, that part's supposed to make you think 'wow!' :'(" [I knew she wouldn't know that part, but I was hoping she would recognise at least one song from there 😔] *27* *she likes the part at 2:42: she described it as the wo-wo-wo part* ... Mum: "That one was good too!" :D *w.a.m.s* Mum: "Ok I was not a fan of that one" Me: "I didn't like it at first, but..." Mum: "You like it now?" Me: "Yes :')" *20-Dollar Nose Bleed* *instantly* Mum: "Oh this is different!" Me: "20 dollar nose bleed, it's about doing drugs" Mum: "Oh" Me *going into Justifying mode*: "But I like it though! It's nice, upbeat" Mum: "Yeah! :)" ... Me: "That 'permanent jetlag' part is Brendon Urie" Mum: "Who?" Me: "Panic at the disco" Mum: "Oh" [Note To Self: play panic at the disco sometime soon.... if I can find people actually selling the cds in this country, that is >:(] *West Coast Smoker* *slightly disgusted face* Mum: "This is more like their other stuff" "Oh I remember now" *has war flashbacks to the horrors of their second album I guess* ---------------------------------------- This is the part where I reveal that we're listening to the AUS/NZ release, which has a total of 19 tracks B) The bonus stuff consists of 2 remixes, then 1 bonus song, 2 acoustic versions, then a cover of Beat It. I've heard the acoustic version of Suitehearts before, and Beat It, but not the other bonus stuff, so I was exicted about hearing these ones. *America's Suitehearts - Remix* Mum: "I feel like we should be at the club!!" *America's Suitehearts - Acoustic* [this song is the only one to have 3 entire versions on this release] Me: ":) I hope you don't dislike this songg" Mum: "I like it better than the club version" Me: ":( I like both"

---------------------------------------- Songs that mum apparently likes (eg because she asked what the title was): - Buffaloes - I don't care - Shipped gold - Coffee - 20 Songs that mum does not like: - wams - West coast smoker ----------------------------------------

I feel like we should be at the club!

I hope you don't dislike this song

I like it better than the club version

I like both

Also, she likes how the digipak has the photos of the band members inside with the colourful art and everything :) Conclusion: this album was a success 😎

[tinandabin]

How would yanderes Tanjiro, Yoriichi and Kokushibou(Separate) react to reader being thrown into an arranged marriage with someone else?

Hope you like this!!!

Tanjiro---

He would try to sabotage your relationship. ( just like how yoriichi did in one of my other headcanons 😔😔.)

Let's say that he was a close 'friend' of yours and was gonna ask you to marry him, well not straight up marry but confess his obsession love for you and start a relationship.

But your parents just had to be a little impatient and had decided to find a suitor for you themselves because your lazy ass didn't even exit the home smh...

Speaking from your point of view, you were a bit grateful because well, you just thought that...trying to start a relationship is just weird and too much work. Like, you want me to go OUTSIDE and CONVERSE with SOMEONE and apparently try to BUILD a RELATIONSHIP with THEM? I'm sorry. No.

So you agreed with it, because the person they were engaging you with seemed, cute, both inside and out, has soft long hair, and a bonus of them having abs.

And Tanjiro being your 'BEST FRIEND' you could just not invite him to your wedding! He has to be there.

So with gritted teeth, Tanjiro had to forcefully watch you getting married.

At first, he was happy. I mean, you are happy, right? Your happiness is the only thing that matters.

So he tolerated it. You would invite him over for dinners which he would merrily accept. But his cheerfulness would soon enough turn into creepy staring at your spouse when you weren't around.

But then he started noticing. Noticing a little too much.

And so he started to stalk your spouse. And boy was he disgusted.

I mean, he expected this type of behavior because obviously, no one would be able to treat you as good as he does!

So, he decided to break the news of your spouse cheating on you.

You did not like it at all nor did you believe it.

But can you blame yourself for not believing? He has got like no evidence or shit, and everything seems normal on your end of relationship. Your spouse gives you the affection he used to and treats you as they always did. So nothing is really wrong. But with Tanjiro's POV, it's like, you are just so naive and cute you really do need his help.

And so he asks you to come with him and see for yourself. And you do.

That was a mistake and not a mistake at the same time.

Because you did see your spouse cheating on you but Tanjiro also took that opportunity to kidnap you.

And this dude right here even pushed the blame on your spouse. I mean, your spouse is cheating on you and you are missing!!

You must have been so heartbroken that you ran away!!

While you are just deadpanning from behind the locked doors hearing Tanjiro make all these lies up.

You feel ready to go and punch Tanjiro.

And you did.

But he is a bit...masochistic. Haha.

Wanna know a fun fact?

Tanjiro is very delusional as a yandere, right? So he actually imagined your spouse cheating on you and you start to hate your spouse all that.

Your spouse never cheated on you. Tanjiro has a loose screw is all.

Yoriichi---

He would be a bit offended to know that your parents chose someone else over him even though your parents don't even know of his existence nor do you.

So at first, he would start worming ( LMAO WORMING, IMAGINE HIM BEING A WORM. ) his way into your life and become an important aspect I guess.

And some how he would you know...even turn the engagement against the person.

Like, he would put so many rumours which somehow are believable about your soon-to-be spouse. ( I don't know how to differentiate between fiance and fiancee. )

And your parents are worried. Like, how did they never notice all those bad traits about your spouse??

They might even start listening to Yoriichi because this dude makes up believable stories.

And one way or another, he would break off the engagement.

After that what?

He doesn't want to force you into a marriage with him.

He would 600% feel more better if you willingly agreed.

So that's what he did.

Started courting you and stuff.

Wooing you, whatever. Whatever you want is ready. Don't ask how, but he even knows what you dream of. Creepy asf.

And it was only normal that you did reciprocate his feelings when he confessed his love.

It doesn't matter whether you actually loved him or not, because did he fucking sugar-coat his way through the confession. He even put the sweetness of honey to shame. 😭😭

And when you did willingly come into his arms, you have never been forced into anything. Literally. Nor have you been locked up.

Just some possessive tendencies here and there...extra clingy. All that stuff.

Though, things will change badly if you even think of leaving him.

Kokushibo---

He would just be growling ferociously like a dog when he heard you getting married. And he can't just come and sweep you off your feet in the DAYLIGHT.

So he's just sulking in his hideout and anxiously biting his nails.

Don't come telling me this isn't like him. MY AU MY RULES. But anyway, if you know that he was like really envious of his brother, right??

So to me, it's like he would appreciate or even tolerate someone who would sincerely show him affection and love. If he even thinks you are mocking him in the slightest, even when you aren't, he will take it to the heart.

And let's say that you have...I don't know, tamed him a bit? I suppose.

You haven't even met him and he's already a cute blob for you.

You didn't wanna get married. Absolutely not. It's not that the commitment scares you, it does, but you would rather marry someone of your choice.

So you are also sulking outside in your garden looking at the koi fish swimming in the decent enough pond when you hear some footsteps.

And you turn around to only see a six-eyed creature, a small six-eyed creature wearing an oversized purple kimono with some oversized hakama pants.

The creature blinked at you 2 times before making its way towards you and settling in your lap.

And you wanna know what you felt at the moment?

You felt like the chosen one. You know the feeling when a cat chooses you? That one. The proud feeling.

And you hesitantly petted him and he literally became a puddle right then and there.

From then on he started coming more and more and at first, you thought that was your imaginary friend when you realised that you are 17.

Not saying 17-year-olds can't have imaginary friends.

After some days you started talking because at first, you thought he couldn't hear nor speak. Because you thought God gave him 2 extra pairs of eyes in exchange for his hearing and ability to speak.

Soon enough, you started talking about wanting to get out of this marriage.

The next morning you wake up to see that your soon-to-be spouse is missing.

Just like that, whatever you wanted to happen, happened.

OKAY, this isn't making sense and my brain is fried so just imagine that some way or another you have been kidnapped by him now.

And it's all FLUFF.

Like he is your own mini-cat.

Search either cat Kokushibo or chibi Kokushibo and that's what it's all about.

MASTERLIST

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