#but aside from Aloth I’ve not had much of this

[fassina]

Was thinking today how barely any viddy game romances give me my peak horny fantasy which is a very uptight man to fluster.

My character is always the one being made speechless why can’t I (metaphorically or actually) make a nerd’s glasses go askew more often?

[babineni]

Shelter - Chapter 1: Aloth

Shelter is a collection of prompt replies, centering around the theme of "comfort kisses", featuring my Watcher, Gaura. Some of the relationships featured here are romantic, others are not. Overall this is an exploration of different dynamics expressed through similar acts of intimacy. (originally posted on ao3, now backed up here)

Roughly 1.3k words

Gaura was half-asleep when she heard knocking on her cabin's door. She yawned as she sat up and tried to rub the drowsiness from her eyes. She noticed that she rubbed them to rythm of the sea shanties sung above by her crew. The realization made her smile. The Watcher quickly made her way to the door to let Aloth in - she could recognize his soft, considerate but still insistent knocking anywhere.

The wizard was only half-dressed: he only had his trousers and his sleeveless undershirt on. The Watcher noticed the marks of crumpled sheets on his skin as soon as she laid eyes on him. Aloth shot her a quick, tired smile but he couldn't hide the anguish in his eyes.

'I'm sorry, did I wake you up?' He asked.

'Only sort of,' Gaura stepped aside so he could come in. 'You know, this could be avoided, if you just moved your things in here.'

Aloth let out a nervous chuckle as he stepped past her. 'Forgive me for saying this, but your presence is... a little overwhelming. As of now, I mean.'

The Watcher's heart sank. 'Am I too much?' She asked as she closed the door behind the wizard and let out a sigh.

'No! No, that is... not what I meant,' Aloth reached for her hand gingerly, prompting her to turn towards him. 'It's just... when I'm by your side, I find it all the easier to let you occupy my every thought,' a blush spread on his face. 'I... often have to re-read the books I read in your presence,' he let out a short, awkward laugh.

Gaura softly chuckled at the admission and left a peck on his lips. 'So you're saying, I'm distracting you.'

'That might have been a better way to put it,' Aloth's blush took a deeper shade. The Watcher laughed again, her voice ringing louder and clearer, and she pulled him into her embrace.

'Relax. I'm the one who needs to apologize,' she said as she caressed the elf's hair. 'I did promise I wouldn't make demands of you, didn't I?' She pulled away slightly and ran her hands down Aloth's chest. She played with the hem of his shirt as she continued. 'I guess I get overwhelmed by my feelings for you too.'

Gaura glimpsed the wizard's lips curving up ever so slightly before he pressed them against hers. She kissed back, slowly, casually, lazily, hoping that Aloth could read the safety and warmth he filled her with from the movement of her tongue and taste of her mouth. She grasped his shirt and stepped back, pulling him along until her back hit the cabin door.

'You didn't come here to discuss semantics, I hope,' the Watcher whispered, her face not even an inch away from the elf's.

'Indeed,' Aloth sighed and pulled away. He gave her a pained and apologetic look. 'However I didn't come for the reasons you assume either,' he turned his gaze upwards to the ceiling, and the music coming from abovedeck. 'I know that singing is a sign of a happy crew, but...' he closed his eyes, his face was distorted by anguish for a moment before he looked at the Watcher again, 'it makes sleeping a particularly challenging ordeal.'

'You don't need to tell me about that,' Gaura replied as she made her way back to her bed. She sat down and patted a spot beside her. 'Tell me then: how would you like me to help?'

Aloth followed her to her bed, but instead of sitting down, he stood a step away, in front of the Watcher, and nervously wringed his fingers. 'I just... I would like to listen to you instead of them.'

Gaura smiled at the request, even if she didn't quite understand Aloth's anxiety over it. She lied down, making sure that he had enough space to lie beside her. Aloth, however, leaned over her once he climbed on the bed.

'Would you mind?' He asked, his fingers brushing against Gaura's thigh gently. She gave him a nod and the two shuffled around until Aloth got to rest between her legs, and he could lay down his head on her chest, right above her heart.

Gaura smoothed down a flame that fluttered as her heart started racing. She sung the first tune that came to her mind, hoping that she could distract the wizard from her rapid heartbeat.

 'It's a fine three-master, thin like a bird...'

Aloth sat up immediately and turned to her, frowning. The Watcher burst out laughing and sat up as well to leave a kiss on the scar above his brow. His expression softened at the touch of her lips and a moment later, he was laughing as well. Gaura gave him a kiss on the lips then, which was turned shallow by their smiles.

When they laid back down, Aloth moved a little higher - he rested his head on her collarbones this time, close enough for the Watcher to feel the scent of his hair.

'What do you want me to sing then?' She asked, tracing each long strand of his hair with a finger.

There was a pause. Gaura was almost convinced that Aloth fell asleep.

'I remember a melody I heard in Brighthollow,' he spoke quietly and cautiously as if his reminiscence was both an old story and heavy cofession weighing on his heart. 'During particularly sleepless nights, if I opened the window and listened intently, I could hear a song played on a violin.' He chuckled a little joylessly, somewhat overcome by nostalgia and seemingly unaware that the Watcher's hand stopped.

Distant memories surfaced in Gaura's mind. There were nights at Caed Nua, when the spirits where particularly restless, too restless for her ignore. On these nights she would pick up her violin and venture into the hedge maze behind Brighthollow. She would play. Just play. Each note left the strings at random, or so she thought. She didn't think anyone was listening. And she didn't think the mere mention of it would... That it would...

'I'm not even entirely certain I truly heard it. Maybe my exhaustion used to played tricks on me,' Aloth continued. 'But right now... That would be the song I'd like to hear most. Isn't that silly?'

Gaura blinked, trying to supress the prickling sensation in her eyes and pressed her lips on Aloth's hair. She took a moment to calm herself before she answered.

'Those were improvisations, Aloth. I never recorded them.'

Her reply prompted the wizard to push himself up and look at her. The Watcher shrugged and deep down she hoped, she could stand his gaze without bursting into tears.

'They're gone,' she said. 'Along with my violin and Brighthollow.'

Aloth nodded as he processed her words. Gaura could see her flames reflected in his eyes while he watched her.

'I miss Caed Nua, too. Even with the ghosts and the monsters swarming up from the Endless Paths... It was a place that felt like home. Moreso than anywhere else I've ever been.'

The Watcher sighed. 'I suppose much of what made Caed Nua feel the way it did,' she cupped Aloth's face, 'is right here.'

The wizard blew a kiss on her palm and the warmth of his gesture spread all over the Watcher body in an instant.

'That truly means a lot,' he said before he leaned in for another kiss on her cheek. 'I'm certain Neketaka has a music shop somewhere, I'd be happy to help you find a new violin next time we go there.'

'And I'm certain I can think of a lullaby for you,' Gaura smiled at him.

'If you feel inclined,' Aloth laid back down, 'but it's no longer necessary.'

The Watcher listened. She couldn't hear anything but the ocean beyond her window.

'Typical,' she muttered, making Aloth snicker quietly.

In a few minutes, they drifted off into a deep sleep, surrounded by no sounds other than those of the crashing waves and their own breathing.

[dragonologist-phd]

OC Interview

I was tagged by @risualto a while back for this!! I decided to use Desta, of course!

And I’ll tag @rannadylin @lunarowena @serenbach86 @haileyoc if y’all wanna do it!

Pick three companions who know your OC/muse well. Answer the questions from at least one of their companions’ points of view.  Name the three companions who will be answering here:

Siobhan- Kind Wayfarer mentor

Aloth- love interest

Tekehu- best friend

Are they ready to be candid with their responses? Don’t worry, this is totally private. Desta will never read it.

1. First Impressions. What was the first impression you had of Desta?

Siobhan: “She was a young thing, fresh on the road- you could tell because she didn’t know the first thing about handling a weapon. But she looked up at me with these big pleading eyes and I couldn’t turn her away. Plus she nearly got eaten by a drake and didn’t let that scare her off, so I at least knew she had some guts. So I took her under my wing and began showing her the ropes of the paladins.”

Aloth: “She helped me out of a rather unpleasant situation with some fellows in Gilded Vale. And I was grateful, of course. But aside from that I didn’t know what to make of her. She was a heavily armed stranger who appeared out of nowhere and was rambling about visions...despite being glad for a friendly face, I was still a bit wary. Luckily our relationship only improved from there.”

Tekehu: “I was quite enchanted to meet another one of the gods’ chosen! She probably wouldn’t appreciate my wording it that way, but that’s the truth. Not to say I didn’t also appreciate that she was an interesting, well-traveled newcomer with a refreshing irreverence for authority. I was quite enticed by the idea of getting to knew her better-“

Aloth: *frowns disapprovingly*

Tekehu: “-as a friend, seeing as it was soon clear that was all she desired between us.”

2. Desta walks into a bar. No, it’s not a joke - what does she order? If you give her a credit for the jukebox, what kind of music would she put on?

Siobhan: "Ha, you wouldn’t think it, but that girl has an iron stomach! Still, she’d probably stick to something lighter, and some upbeat music to go with it.”

Aloth: “She’s not a heavy drinker- she prefers sweet drinks, or perhaps a cider. And she likes dancing music, despite not being much of a dancer herself.”

Tekehu: "If this bar is in the Deadfire, there’s a pineapple drink I introduced her to that she quite enjoyed! As for music, she appreciates a good beat!”

3. How does Desta spend a day off from work?

Siobhan: "She’d still be off getting into trouble somewhere- that’s her idea of relaxing, which is probably why she fit in so well with the Wayfarers. We’re all a little bit like that.”

Aloth: "You’d probably find her out in her garden, if she’s at Caed Nua. When she doesn’t have that to distract her, however, she can’t stand days off. She usually ends up either exploring or helping people out with odd jobs, which are both technically still her job description.”

Tekehu: "Finding more work to do! I try to get her to relax more- I even offered to pay for a day at the Luminous Bathhouse. She simply has a restless soul.“

4. What silly superstitions or funny traditions does she observe?

Siobhan: "Nothing funnier than the other paladins. Most of us had good luck charms and things like that we carry around- Desta liked to make her own, these little flower chains that she would weave together. Not sure if she learned it from someone else or if it’s a Desta original.”

Aloth: "She still makes those flower charms! She also likes to make special meals for every new year that she says are good luck, which isn’t that strange- we do something not dissimilar in Aedyr. It’s simply that the food she makes involves a certain dish with beans that is...not very good. But please don’t tell her I said that. I don’t think she believes much in luck, but she seems to enjoy the cooking.”

Tekehu: “I taught her a few Deadfire traditions in our time together- she likes hearing about them, although I doubt she keeps up with any of them now.”

5. What does Desta wear to bed? And just how do you know that?

Siobhan: “When you’re on long journeys and sleeping in tents, you get to know what people wear to bed. Desta usually just fell asleep in whatever she happened to be wearing under her armor that day.”

Aloth: "When we travel, she can fall asleep in any position and in any clothing. When we’re not traveling- which is rare- she’s rather fond of roomy, comfortable clothing. (Modern AU: She has a collection of old sweatshirts, all at least one size too large, that she loves sleeping in.”

Tekehu: "I rarely see her out of some form of practical clothing, so I can only assume that is what she sleeps in. Ship life doesn’t offer much privacy, and yet I’ve never seen her in specific sleepwear of any kind. Also, our friend Aloth neglected to answer the second part of the question.”

Aloth: *flushes* “Well, I should think it goes without saying. We do not all have the need to be so...flagrant about our sleeping arrangements.”

6. Your favorite memory of Desta?

Siobhan: "I still remember the first time she managed to summon paladin flames through her weapon. You should have seen her face- I think she actually scared herself! But after the initial shock she was so excited...it was rather sweet, really.”

Aloth: “Well, there’s quite a few. It’s difficult to narrow it down. If I had to choose...I believe it would the first time I told her I loved her. And that was a private conversation, so that is all I will say on the matter.”

Tekehu: "We had many good adventures, but finding Ukaizo- that was a moment that cannot be outdone. And I never would have been there if not for Desta.”

7. A time you very nearly almost kissed Desta?

Siobhan: “Uh, no.”

Aloth: “Oh. Well, I suppose there were a few times before I actually did that I wanted to. One that sticks in my mind is before I left Caed Nua all those years ago...I knew by then how I felt for her, but I couldn’t do that to her right before I had to leave.”

Tekehu: “I admit, there have been occasions where the thought crossed my mind! She is a lovely woman, and very kind- our first trip to the Gullet, she was very comforting, and for a moment-”

Aloth: *disapproving frown intensifies*

Tekehu: “-I did nothing at all and we remained fast friends. I say, my companion here appears to coming down with some sort of affliction.”

8. Vacation time! Where do you take Desta for some R&R?

Siobhan: "Anywhere exciting! I heard tale of a nearby mountain cave being guarded by a dragon, I’m sure she’d love that!”

Aloth: “That sounds neither restful nor relaxing.”

Siobhan: “It is for us!”

Aloth: “That...explains quite a bit. In that vein, it’s difficult to imagine somewhere new she hasn’t been yet. It might be nice to take her to Aedyr. Perhaps not to meet my family- I’m not quite that comfortable with them yet- but there is some lovely scenery I could show her,”

Tekehu: "There are some lovely island we could visit, if she can stand the extra sailing time. But they are shores that haven’t seen explorers in many years, and I believe she would enjoy the experience!“

9. Desta’s sense of humor -is it dry, immature, sarcastic, self-deprecating, physical, witty, dark, or…?

Siobhan: "She was always an excitable girl- she finds just about anything funny. All in a very sweet way thought, she’s not prone to sarcasm or mockery.”

Aloth: "Desta appreciates puns. Originally I did not share that appreciation, but...I admit, her sense of humor has rubbed off on me, just a bit. Normally I would call it silly, but she has a talent for making me laugh no matter what mood I’m in.”

Tekehu: "Ah, yes, her puns are wonderful! She’s simply an entertaining person to be around- she tells hilarious stories!”

[secretsfromwholecloth]

Deadfire, day 9.

Still having a big ol’ pile of messy feelings about The Bridge Ablaze. In addition to the obvious ones (for the newbies, those are “I love this bit more than any part of this game not in The Forgotten Sanctum, and it even gives most of TFS a run for its money“ and “where is my option to hug Waidwen”), I feel like a lot of thought was put into what it means for Eothas to have these different aspects to give us the [Echo Eothas]/[Echo Gaun]/[Echo the Dawnstars] options.

Anyway. On to the Drowned Kingdom, with my usual party of Edér/Aloth/Tekēhu/Rekke (gotta get that language discussion in).

“Yes, a puzzle! Let me try!” Rekke, dear love, I only wish I could let you take point on this, trying to get around this place drives me up the wall.

Something’s gone weird again, a fifth soul fragment appeared in one of the pools, and I’m having the conversation with it that I’m supposed to be having with the repaired Wingauro inside the Sunken Crown.

I was going to noodle around a bit more and see if I could get to that last bit in the northwest, but I probably ought to stop and get out of here before the glitching gets worse. The quest is done, Wingauro’s aid is secured, let me just go and beat up that dragon and count my blessings.

Well, that was downright pleasant. One round of boons from Naxiva and Wingauro, one Meteor Shower from Aloth, one heal for the melee squad, and no one picked up any injuries until Anlaf’s ill-advised attempt to rip Neriscyrlas’ phylactery out of her chest by hand.

And that was with the same party from the Drowned Kingdom, rather than going back to swap in a specialized healer. Not half bad!

Anlaf would like Woedica to know that she can go do something uncomfortable. Did she really expect him to have any time for her or her worldview?

To Kazuwari, then—why stop at Rymrgand and Woedica when we can piss off Galawain (and eventually Wael) into the bargain?

There’s our dragon-riding green friend! I was getting worried.

Standard party for Seeker Slayer Survivor (Edér/Rekke/Konstanten/Fassina) in place. Let’s do this. I mean, Konstanten isn’t my only source of healing. Anlaf has the Gaun’s Pledge ring, and Edér has some gloves that let him use Lay On Hands once per encounter. We’ll be fine, right? :D

Right, yes, everyone in this party needs a hug.

Whew, that part’s over. Injuries were picked up among the melee squad, but the Tyrant of Decay went down in one try.

Between Konstanten’s summons and the Essence Interrupter commandeering dead enemies, I’m having a grand old time here. :D

I went poking around the Classical Nahuatl section of Wiktionary a while back because Reasons, and now I can’t un-know that “pipiltin” means “children”. Yes, plural. Or “nobles”, if we want to be charitable.

Correcting him on whether Eothas’ backside is more “burning” or “glowing” is too funny to ever not do.

The bit with the knife. You know the one. Hnrrrrrrng.

Which face? The Surviving Face is next up in the cycle (I’ve done both the others twice), so...eh, why not?

See, I know how to traverse the Kōhatekana Expanse now, so getting through it is a simple matter of following the signs. And nothing will ever compare to the first time I visited, with Clelia, who got horribly lost and had Rekke get stolen by spiders. I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved when playing these games as the moment I got him back. (Aside from the “holy shit, you can lose companions?!” factor, it may have been pure headcanon, but he was part of the OT4.)

Fassina, I understand that you love Ninagauth’s Freezing Pillar just as much as Aloth, but standing in your own freezing pillar while it’s still active because you want to get closer to the remaining enemies is really not terribly smart.

...oh dear, Marux Amanth was Aexica’s? That explains a thing or two.

“[Sigh.] You feel slightly better.”

You can, in fact, pet the boar. This makes me very happy.

You cannot, however, pet the bear, unless you’re playing a ranger. Sadface.

Heh, nice, there’s a non-helmet equivalent of the Champion’s Helm for godlikes.

Oh, right, the other spelling/pronunciation thing that I’m less than happy with: The h in Maori “wh”, patently the inspiration for the use of it in Huana, isn’t decoration. I’m willing to let this slide because merging a sound written “wh” into /w/ is a feature of American English, but it would’ve made me so happy if they’d gone for literally anything else.

While I’m here, macrons are called that because they make the sound long. Ahem.

I thought that was King Wingauro putting in another appearance. Good to have it confirmed.

I don’t feel like forcing Muātu to stay this time, so sure, Whehami, let’s fight it out.

And now, in between picking up Crucible artifacts around Neketaka, a break to steal everything in the Dark Cupboard that isn’t nailed down. Because I can.

And I’ll have to finish mopping up the optional fights in the morning, because it’s quite late, and I’ve been up since 4:00...yesterday morning, at this point. Wish me luck with staying asleep tonight!

[queen-scribbles]

Kiss #33 for Emiri? :-D

33. In a Dream (this got long enough I’m half tempted to post it as a normal fic. But that would mean giving it a title. :P Happy Valentine’s Day?)

—

It was Hiravias who spilled the beans. Which, really, she should have seen coming.

She’d always figured it would be him(on purpose) or Edér(by accident), so part of her wondered why it was even a shock when it happened. And it happened, of course, in typical Hiravias fashion–blunt and indelicate.

Kana had just finished thanking her(again) for her helping with locating the Tanvii ora Toa, and her encouragement in the aftermath. He refused to let her downplay her kindness. “It was not an easy request to grant, and involved great risk. Truly, it takes a special person to do so with such alacrity, even for a friend. I marvel that you considered me worth the risk.”

“‘Course she did,” Hiravias interjected, popping a walnut in his mouth and chewing noisily as he continued, “she likes you.”

All the air left Emiri’s lungs(she did appreciate the daggers both Aloth and Edér were glaring at Hiravias, even if he seemed unfazed) and her face heated in the heavy silence that followed.

Kana cocked his head, brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Oh, for the love of Wael,” Hiravias huffed. “Our Watcher is smitten. Twitter-pated.” He batted the lashes of his good eye in an exaggerated fashion. “Head over heels. In love. With you, and I, at least, am tired of you being the only one of us dumb enough to miss that fact. Hound’s fuckin’ teeth, Edér figured it out!”

She bolted. It seemed the only route of escape, of not having to deal with the stunned expression on Kana’s face. She wasn’t sure how far she ran into the woods surrounding their campsite. Enough to be alone as she plunked down on a fallen tree and buried her head in her hands. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She should’ve hidden it better(could she have hidden it better?). Now things would be awkward, even just their friendship would take ages to rebuild–if they could at all. It was hard to come back from something like this–

“Emiri?”

Oh, Berath, if I could melt into the ground that would be great. She tensed and hunched further over but otherwise didn’t react to Kana’s arrival.

He chuckled softly and sat next to her on the log. “If you wish me to leave, simply say the word.”

She almost did. No. Stay. “How’d you find me so fast?”

“You left a fairly obvious trail,” he said, gently untangling a twig from the hair around her halo. “And you glow more brightly with… strong emotion.”

“Oh.” Right.

They sat in silence for several long moments before Kana spoke again. “Why did you never say anything?”

This being Kana, there was no censure, only curiosity, behind the question. Emiri still fumbled with a response. 

“I… I was scared,” she finally mumbled, hands tangling in her lap and unable to meet his eye. “I didn’t want to risk our friendship, b’cause that’s special to me aside from… anything else, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if… if you don’t feel the same.”

There was a heavy pause as Kana took a breath, let it out. “…And if I do?”

Her gaze stayed firmly on her lap, hands curling and uncurling, heart pounding as she admitted, “I never… let myself think about that.” Hurts too much; dwelling on what you don’t have….

His hand slipped into her field of vision, fingers intertwining with her own.  “Perhaps you should start.”

Her head shot up, eyes wide, and her heart skipped a beat. “Kana, I…”

With his other hand he reached over to brush her hair out of her face, dislodging a couple more small twigs as he did.

“Don’t play with me,” she whispered, voice shaking, as his hand came to rest on her cheek. “Not about this.”

Kana shook his head. “Your heart is a precious thing, Emiri,” he said gently, “and it would take a bigger fool than I to treat it otherwise.”

His thumb rubbed a gentle arc against her skin and all the gods save her, she could barely breathe. Kana’s fingers pressed the back of her neck in a subtle encouragement that was wholly unnecessary. Emiri was already leaning forward to meet the intended kiss.

It was everything she’d dreamed it would be and more. He was tender and engaged; clearly alright with this development but willing to let her set the pace. Emiri leaned into the kiss more, wordlessly conveying her enthusiasm, and tightened her grip on his hand.

Kana chuckled and squeezed back, briefly deepening the kiss before breaking it off. “Hiravias was right,” he said softly, breath warm against her cheek. “I’ve been very stupid.”

Emiri’s laugh was breathless, giddy. “Lucky for you, I’m a very forgiving person.”

He laughed and kissed her again. “Lucky for me, indeed.”

—

Emiri woke with a start, and was trying to reorient herself when the Mercy jolted on rough seas half a heartbeat later. Whatever caused the drop, it was enough to toss her from her bed, and she yelped as her funny bone and the still-tender stump from her halo smacked the cabin floor.

Ow…. She sat up, blinking back tears at both the physical pain and losing her dream. It was such a good one, too, she thought remorsefully, sweeping hair out of her eyes and briefly touching her lips. 

“Oi! You alright in there, Cap?” Serafen’s voice filtered through the door.  “Couldn’t avoid that last wave trough, and the stern got th’ worst of it.”

“I’m fine,” she called back to assure him, voice wobbling as she tried to calm her racing yet melancholy heart. 

“Good to ‘ear, Cap. I’m sure it won’t t happen again,” Serafen returned after a pause.

As she picked herself up and crawled back in bed, Emiri wondered if he could sense just how badly she’d been lying.

Kiss Prompts

[ariela-of-aedyr]

Skills meme: 🎤🎭🐴 for Ariela, 🍪🐺🙊 for Mia, 🎹🧒✒ for Anik, 🎤🌱💾 for Faenna, 🖌👛📕 for Aubrey?

Ariela:

🎤 : [Answered Here]

🎭 : “Acting is... not an ability that I possess. I admire those with the skill and passion to do it, though! The closest I’ve ever come to any sort of serious acting is the five minutes that I had to pretend I didn’t know who Aloth was when we reconnected in the Deadfire, and I don’t think I even did that well, honestly.”

🐴 : “I can ride horses! I haven’t needed to do so in years, though- I mostly travel by foot, or caravan, or ship these days, so my skills might be a little rusty. I used to go for rides along the coastline every now and then back when I lived in Aedyr. Maybe I should take the hobby back up when I finally get settled in a home again.”

Mia:

🍪 : “Hmm, I’ve never tried to bake- usually people just bring food to me! I know all the best chefs and caterers, though, so you’d best believe I can get my hands on some of the finest baked goods in Eora!”

🐺 : “I’ve had no interest in animals, really, for most of my life. They have no place on a stage, y’know! But Tekē made me this beautiful water sculpture for my room on board the ship, complete with live fish, so I’m currently learning how to take care of those!”

🙊 : “I’m probably not the right person to share a secret with, if you actually want it to be kept. I enjoy gossip too much! Sometimes it is accidental, though. I’m not always sure why someone might want to keep something quiet, so sometimes I can talk about stuff that I shouldn’t without even realising it!”

Anik:

🎹 : “Now, music is not something that the universe has guided me towards. I’m pretty good with my hands, though, so maybe I’d be good at something like drums or symbols, or something. A gong might be pretty fun. Never tried it though. Maybe destiny will guide me that way in the future.”

🧒 : “I’m pretty good with kids, sure. The village I come from is very community based, like one big family, so I helped look after the younger kids a lot when I had spare time. I helped raise some of my younger cousins, too. I don’t think it’s in my future to have kids of my own, but I’m sure I’ll make a great uncle if it’s something on the cards for my sister.”

✒ : “I’m never gonna be an author or anything, but I know most of the basics of writing. It was never really a big part of my life back in the Land. Not much use for ink and parchment when you’re ice fishing, right? They’d just freeze. Then they’re no good to anyone. But Aloth and Kana helped me brush up on that kind of thing when destiny guided me to Caed Nua, and it became apparent I was gonna need it.”

Faenna:

🎤 : *Faenna stares, impassively, for a long time* “I don’t sing. Not any more.” [Faenna actually has a half decent singing voice. One of their former adventuring party used to hate particular songs, and Faenna would sing them at him to wind him up. They haven’t sung since they lost their friends.]

🌱 : “I am good at gardening. Not because I’m a nature godlike. I merely have an interest in botany. I keep a garden of medicinal herbs at Caed Nua. Kept. I guess.”

💾 : “I have more experience with nature than with technology. But I think that scientific progress is good. Knowledge should not be seen as dangerous. I still have much to learn about technology, but I will learn. We all should.”

Aubrey:

🖌 : “I’m told I have very neat handwriting. My writing is still impossible to decipher, though, cos I write everything in code! I don’t write much, though, aside from in my journal, and I mostly just keep notes there about different places that I visit.”

👛 : “I’m great at selling things! The key is to bamboozle the hel out of your buyer so they end up agreeing to whatever price you suggest, thinking they’re getting a good deal! And if you need to get people interested in buying in the first place, I’ve found a few tall tales usually helps. No-one’s interested in buying some second-hand armour that you lifted from some bandits, but if you convince people that it once belonged to a famous hero or gladiator or whatever, well, then they’re interested.”

📕 : “Teaching’s not really my thing. Teaching, and leading. They both kind of involve people looking to you and relying on you to have the answers, and that’s not really... me.”

[haledamage]

Rhicember 12/25

There’s a snow storm. I guess we’re stuck in here together till it passes. - Kai&Ensemble (Pillars of Eternity 1 - in this case, ‘Ensemble’ is Kana, Hiravias, Maneha, Aloth, and Edér)

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Hiravias asked, voice deep and gravelly in his autumn staelgar form. He shook the snow from his fur, covering everything near the door in cold water. “Bad news is, there’s a snowstorm and we’re stuck here until it passes. Good news is, we get our pick of the hot springs.”

“How bad of a snowstorm?” Kana threw a towel to Hiravias, who took it delicately between two claws to try and get the last of the melting snow off of him.

“Even the locals are batoning down the hatches.”

Kai sighed. “Lovely.”

Maneha clapped a hand on Kai’s shoulder, sending her staggering a step forward. “Well, at least we got back to town before it hit. Can’t imagine we’d be as comfortable at the Battery.”

“That’s true, I suppose.” At least Durgan’s Battery was warm, Kai thought, but she kept it to herself.

“And at least we aren’t already on the trails back to Caed Nua,” Edér piped up, pushing aside the curtains to look outside. It didn’t look too bad yet, no new snow except the stuff that always seemed to be on the ground, but the clouds looked very dark. “We’d be as good as dead.”

“That… is also true.” Kai sighed again. “Well, I guess there’s nothing to be done for it.” She set her rucksack on one of the beds to do a quick inventory of what supplies she had. “Any dire business you have in town, get it done quickly. I expect you all to be back here by the time the snow arrives. If I have to go out looking for you, I promise you will regret it.”

Edér chuckled, amused by the sharpness of her tone. “I thought you liked snow, Kiki.”

“I don’t like delays.”

“I’d call it an act of the gods, but we’ve already dealt with our share of those.” Maneha’s laughter is much warmer than it has any right to be on such a cold day. “I’m gonna go get a drink. Want anything?”

“No, thank you, dear.” Kai grabbed her arm as she turned to leave. “Do try and pace yourself, please.” Maneha scowled, but Kai continued before she could interrupt. “We don’t know how long we’ll be snowed in and you don’t want them to run out before we can leave.”

“Good lookin’ out, Kai.” Maneha winked and left the room.

The others filtered out, too, to go finish some last minute shopping run or to join Maneha at the bar. Hiravias was still in staelgar form, which was going to be problematic, but he disappeared before Kai could catch him and she had no idea where he went. She’d just have to deal with that problem when it surfaced.

It was only when she turned back to the room, intending to get some of her own work done, that she realized she wasn’t the only one in the room. Aloth stood staring at his open pack, a distant look on his face and a pensive set to his eyebrows. Kai walked over to him and gently touched his arm, bringing him back to reality.

“Are you okay, darling?”

He gave her a small, tight-lipped smile. “I’m fine.”

“I can see about getting you a separate room,” she said quietly, trying to guess what might be bothering him. “I know spending a lot of time in this close of quarters makes you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t need to make exceptions for me, Kai,” Aloth said, but his smile became a little more genuine.

“I know.” She looked around to make sure they were truly alone, then dropped her voice to a near-whisper just in case. “I may have, perhaps, been hoping you would say yes so that I could get away from them for a while, too.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, giving her a shrewd look. “Well, with a party this size it would make sense to split up. For safety’s sake, of course,” he said lightly. “You, me, and Edér in one room, the others in a different one?”

“Very clever, darling. What would I do without you?” Kai asked fondly.

The tips of Aloth’s ears turned pink and he looked down, staring at his hands. “I’m sure you’d be just fine.”

“Oh, I doubt it. I don’t think I’d have even made it out of Gilded Vale without you.” There was a loud whoop and then a crash, and they both cringed. “I should see to that.”

“Of course,” he said, all business once more, and the moment was gone like it had never been there. “I’m going to head into town and see if they have any supplies they can spare. We didn’t exactly pack for a prolonged stay.”

“Good idea. If they give you any trouble, don’t be afraid to throw my name around.” She fished around in her rucksack until she found the seal of Caed Nua that she carried around for just such a purpose and handed it to him. “After the shit I’ve been through on their behalf the last few days, they owe me some extra blankets at the very least.”

Aloth laughed quietly. “Indeed.”

There was some yelling in the main room, and something that sounded decidedly like a staelgar roar. “Right. Going. See you later.”

[impossible-rat-babies]

Writing Snippet #40

—

I’ve been sitting on this for weeks and I finally finished this out. I’ve wanted to write their first kiss for AGES and I’ve finally gotten something I’m happy with. Also just in time for Watcher Wednesday! Run by the wonderful @ariela-of-aedyr!

—

Aoife silently ran his fingers along the edge of the book, the motion stinging a little as the pages cut along the growths on his knuckles. The gentle rock of the ship came with the smell of fish and the sea filtering in through the open windows. He bit his lip and his long tail snapped against the bed in frustration, trying to read the pages in front of him for the fifth time. But the image of the priestess in Tikawara kept coming back to him, the image of her glaring daggers at him like an uninvited guest in his head.

They still sat docked not far from the shore of the Huana settlement, sorting their cargo and charting their next course.

A knock on the door pulled him away again and he heaved a sigh, dog-earring the page.

“Come in...” He spoke with as much professionalism he could muster, which wasn’t much. Thankfully, it was only Aloth who silently poked his head in before stepping inside. He lightly closed the door behind him, foot idly tapping on the floor.

“Did you need something?” Aoife asked, setting aside his book. Ciara chittered, hoping from her perch to Aoife’s shoulder, looking anxiously at Aloth.

“May I sit?” He asked and Aoife gestured to the end of the bed. Silence passed between the pair as he sat, Aoife occasionally glancing to Aloth as he worked to put his thoughts into order. He saw the thoughts drifting around his head. Aloth was even too distracted to shoved Ciara off as she flitted to his shoulder, affectionately nibbling at his hair. His brow furrowed and relaxed many times, his mouth opening and closing. His hands clenched in his sash as he heaved a sigh.

“I wanted to say...I wanted to say that you...well, us, but mainly you since you the one who—“

“Aloth.” Aoife cut off his fretting with a hand on his shoulder and he slouched as a breath left his lungs. He gave him a grateful look, eyes shifting away. He stroked Ciara’s beak and she cheerfully chittered.

“I wanted to say...we had to make some difficult choices these past few days...In Tikawara, I mean.” He reminded and the memory soured in Aoife’s mind.

The Luminous Adra pillar had been saved and would be mined like any other outpost. The money would help Tikawara, but for how long? Would they be trampled upon as many had been before? Would they live as they all had hoped? The sinking feeling of having done both good and bad weighed in Aoife’s stomach.

“I am uncertain of what to say for my actions.” Aoife admitted and Aloth turned his head, ears twitching. He chewed his lip, pulling his hair around to his chest, tail returning to its fast paced fluttering rather than slow waving motions.

“I am uncertain if the adra will provide what Tikawara wants...or needs for that matter. Will it help them? Or will the Vallian influence leave them worse for wear in the end? When the adra runs out, what will happen? The Vallian’s aren’t going to stick around for charities sake.” Aoife babbled not unlike Aloth in his own moments of indecision. It was strange to hear it in his voice—Aloth rarely knew him to be one to not have an answer. He stroked the feather’s on Ciara’s neck, much to her enjoyment.

“But if you had destroyed the adra...” Aloth poised the question and Aoife sighed, Ciara chittering softly. Silence once again filled the space between them and Aloth scooted closer to him.

“Your turn to say I’m overthinking it?” Aoife chastised himself and a sympathetic smile crossed Aloth’s face.

“It’s obviously been bothering you.” Aloth replied and Aoife grumbled, squirming in place.

“I want that which is best, but it’s—“

“Hard when the truth is uncertain.” Aloth finished for him and Aoife chuckled.

“Back to finishing my sentences?” He inquired.

“Merely sharing a thought between us.” Aloth smiled again. “If it is any consolation,” he spoke, quietly taking Aoife’s hands in his own, “I do believe the choice you made will provide some prosperity for the people. If nothing else, they have proven resilient and can meet the challenges ahead. The Deadfire is far from an easy place for one to live, but they have made it this far. They will be strong enough on their own.” Aloth gave him a smile and Aoife returned it, ears still tipping slightly.

“I do believe that is the most amount of words I have heard you say in a long while, Aloth.” He spoke and the elf clicked his tongue.

“If only the others weren’t so keen to praddle on.” He implied more than one person aboard the ship and Aoife laughed.

“I’ll pass your glowing rapport onto Tekehu.” Aoife gave a cheeky grin and Aloth groaned, pulling his hands away from Aoife’s like some punishment for the joke.

“How easily you bounce back.” He noted, his voice not as grumpy as his words would lead one to believe, and Aoife shrugged.

“Good company reminds me that perhaps not all of my choices spell the end of the world. That I needn’t worry over every little thing.” He confessed and the tips of Aloth’s ears reddened.

“You’re too kind, Aoife.”

“I am not...!” He jokingly protested.

“As I recall you have changed little from the same man who offered help to anyone who needed it. Not to say it is wrong, however, but your welcoming hospitality does have its moments.” Aloth reminded him with a droning tone and Aoife was unable to hold back a snicker, waving his hand back and forth.

“I could be worse, you know. An ignorant doormat for one.” He kindly pointed out, waving a finger. Ciara sqwaked, jumping from Aloth’s shoulder back to Aoife, nuzzling his head.

“You are far too concerned with freedoms to be a doormat to anyone.” Aloth countered, raising a brow, arms folding across his chest. Trading quick witted barbs back and forth with Aoife was a staple despite how the Godlike possessed little humor beyond deadpan remarks.

“Is it being a doormat or be kindhearted?” Aoife wondered as the barbs kept going.

“I suspect it depends on how much you like someone.” Aloth replied.

“Then I would have to say your are the furtherst thing from allowing me to be a doormat to you.” Aoife gave him a smile and Aloth flushed red again, ears turning pink. “I mean it, Aloth.” His voice grew softer along with his expression “And I am not one to lie.”

“I know that, Ee. Just...you say things like that and they’re....” He held the word in his mouth, but couldn’t think to speak it.

“Embarrassing flattery?”

“Yes. And you know exactly about overt flattery.”

“That it will get you everywhere?” He teased and Aloth gave him a look akin to a punch in the arm for the cheekiness. It was a worse look that if he had given him a punch in the arm.

“You’re insufferable.”

“True, but I’m your insufferable Watcher.”

The words struck Aloth harder than the should have. Your insufferable Watcher, akin to mean he belonged to him. A foreign concept since everyone deemed Aoife a comedity to be shared readily; he wasn't above sharing himself with others either, always eager to help, to lend a hand or coin to the needy. But Aoife was one to pick his words and he rarely said things of the like without meaning them. He never said things of the like without meaning them--he didn't have the stomach for anything but compassionate truth.

“Your...Watcher..?” He asked hesistantly and Aoife’s ears twitched, knowing Aloth had caught on.

“Yes...I meant what I said, Aloth.” He said clearly and Aloth’s breath caught in his chest, not having to guess what he meant at all. The look in his golden eyes left none of that to chance.

“You’re...serious...?” Aloth questioned yet again, a lit of uncertainty painting his tone.

“I don’t want to give you wrong the impression of my affections.” Aoife quickly told him quietly, flush coloring the tips of his ears as if he was suddenly shy, twin eyes looking away.

Aloth managed a quiet chuckle that sounded more like he was clearing his throat. “I do not think you impression is missed. I ask to see if it is are true.”

“They are true. I care a lot about you, Aloth. More than I would the others...” His voice grew quiet near the end, like the declaration had just hit him. Aoife looked back at him, quickly speaking. “I-If you do not share my affection, I wouldn’t be upset. I understand completely and wouldn’t wish to impose or presume upon you...”

“No, no...” Aloth quickly spoke to quell his nerves and he sighed softly. “I....have always been solitary, as you know. Peace has been a hard thing to grasp in many years and I’ve grown to value privacy when I can find it. I just...I am unsure if I can give that up, Ee...” He admitted quietly.

Aoife spoke quickly, warmth in his voice. “I’m not asking you to change, Aloth. That’s the last thing I would want for you is to change because of my caring for you. I don’t wish to take that away from you.” Aoife held his hands out before him, an open invitation for Aloth to take them or not.

Aloth took a breath, a long pause stretching between them as he looked down at Aoife’s deep grey colored hands. He knew his feelings...and his own misgivings. But when was Aoife ever one to not take all of him into account? He never let Aloth be anyone but himself, always there to support and tend to him when he wanted it. Aloth couldn’t deny the affection he had for him had only grown over the months. But would the risk be worth it? Death laid a hairs breath away too often to admit and things were far beyond complicated within the Deadfire. But, there were things to have been learned from Aoife, and living in the moment was one of them.

“Then....I do hold great affection for you, Ee. Also more than I thought I could have, or perhaps deserved for that matter.” He turned his head and Aoife carefully pushed a hair aside, tucking it behind his ear.

“You deserve that affection, Aloth.” His touch lingered for a moment longer, like perhaps he was remiss to depart. Still, his hand fell back to beside his other, invitation still before him.

Aloth took a deep breath. “Even with everything going on around us and no idea where we will be taken? You still wish to be....together?”

“Are you doubting my commitment?”

“No, no...just wondering if this is the best course...” Aloth mumbled, looking up at Aoife with apprehension in blue eyes. 

“We...” He started, but closed his mouth. “Let’s not make demands of each other. We’ll see where this takes us and...I want us to define together how we want to define it.” Aoife spoke instead and Aloth breathed out, but a small smile rose to his lips as he met Aoife’s gaze.

“Yes, I think I would like that.”

Aloth slipped his hands into Aoife’s deep grey against pale, scars and tattoos against clear skin. Aoife’s hands folded into his and he leaned forward, easily planting a kiss to Aloth’s forehead. His cheeks flushed red, but he still smiled. Aoife grinned, leaning in to kiss his nose.

“Ee!” Aloth giggled and leaned back, a smile painting even his eyes with joy.

“What? He asked cheekily and Aloth rolled his eyes, meeting his gaze. His cheeks flushed as Aoife looked back at him, joy in his own twin eyes.

Aloth shifted his gaze away, but before he knew it, lips pressed against his own. They were soft, incredibly soft, a tingle racing down his spine, heart hammering in his chest. Aloth slowly found himself kissing him back, squeezing his hands despite how they shook. Aoife squeezed back, pulling away much too soon. Their lips still shared the same air, eyes meeting, still half lidded.

“No more doubt about how genuine my feelings are?” He questioned with a tease and Aloth couldn’t stop the small giddy giggle rising from his lips.

“No more doubt...” He repeated and Aoife giggled, leaning in to kiss Aloth yet again. It was like touching the stars and each moment left him breathless in the best way, heart swelling in his chest.

Maybe a small affection was underestimating the feelings he had for Aoife. It was like a weight had been pulled from his shoulders and a warmth sat in his heart, blossoming up and across his shoulders and neck, gently cradling him like how Aoife’s hands cradled his face. For once in the past five years and the months of disaster that had happened, something wonderful had happened.

Aoife pulled away once more, smiling brightly, twin eyes glowing. Aloth giggled, leaning back in to kiss him again.

And both of them intended to hold onto it for as long as they could.

[rannadylin]

Fluff, Network, Offspring for Vi; Alignment, Grudge and Question for Anselm; Law, Pistol, Upcoming for Audie; Jaded, Law and Question for Glynis; Alignment, Fluff, Kin, Question and Touch for Ianthe <3

A-Z Headcanon Asks

Violet:

Fluff :: What hits their soft spot? Doesanything them into emotional goo?Edér’s sense of humor, mostly. Vi is a Very Serious Fluff and hisability to make her laugh even when things are pretty terrible is a large partof her falling for him. Seeing him go all silly over every stray pet theycollect brightens her day, too.

Also, Eothas. It’s obviously gonna be a complicatedrelationship she has with her god after Sun in Shadow, and worse, after hewrecks Caed Nua, but the first time she gets to actually talk to him in theDeadfire just melts her. Her devotion after that point isn’t just theoreticalor practical; she’s delighted to find him, well, likeable, even in the midst of another of his crazy schemes.

Network :: Are they connected to the people?How much do they reach out to others?

She takes that aspect of priesthood very seriously, thoughshe has to push herself to reach out at times when she’s more geared toward thecontemplative, introspective side of her calling. In the Dyrwood, she welcomes secretEothasians to her secret chapel in Caed Nua and has Edér to help her find suchfolk through the Night Market. Apart from church folk, she keeps incorrespondence with some of her family – Audie especially, before the clanvisited Caed Nua, and more of them after that – and with friends from her Dyrwood adventures, especially Kana and, when he bothers to write, Aloth – but she’s not much for socialevents and that kind of networking.

Offspring :: What kind of parent would they be?Would they prefer one, or multiple?She’s got lots of experience wrangling younger siblings, but ofcourse it’s different when it’s your own. Vi’s compassion and resolve and tendencyto give every situation careful thought would all come in handy with her kidsthough; she’s a devoted and caring mother, though on the other hand that“giving things careful thought” can make her hesitate to act quickly whendiscipline is called for. And…given her clan/city traditions…I’m not sure shecould handle having just one child, if she’s going to have any at all. XDThey’re meant to have siblings, right? Lots of those?

In the Soul & Shield world state, she and Edér willprobably adopt. In other world states – Deadfire canon included – she andAnselm will have a bunch. I think that letter to Eidis mentioned at leastthree? There will probably be more after that.

[more behind a cut, so many wonderful questions! ;-D]

Anselm:

Alignment :: What would be their D&Dalignment? How might it come into play?Hmmmm…this is tougher than it seems it should be. I mean he’s got arather particular sense of honor but also does not hesitate to use his Watchauthority to bend the rules if they get in the way. And he was certainly moreselfish in his youth whereas he’s trying to be more altruistic these days, so Isuppose he’s mid-shift from something like Lawful Evil to True Neutral? Oof,that’s my best guess anyway.

Grudge :: How bad does an insult go over? Dothey hold a grudge long?He’s got a lot of confidence (or…well…retains the veneer of it atleast, possibly to cover up a self-doubt that’s been growing since Violet leftand only now being challenged) to shrug off an insult, or more likely fire asubtle comeback. Grudges…are beneath him, mostly. Vengeance is more effective. Why stew over an injury done to you when you have the power to retaliate and assert your own superiority?

Question :: How often do they feel doubt? Whattopics are they defensive about?He’s always doubting whether he’s really any better now than he was whenViolet left. (Recent developments regarding someItzli sisters’ views of him may help to quiet those doubts. 😉)And he’s a little defensive about being a cipher, always expecting people tomistrust him for it and having to prove himself.

Audie:

Law :: What do they think about abiding rules?Are they selective about it?Audie thinks people should abide the rules that she makes, basically. Those that stand in her way, on the otherhand, were ill-advised. (To be fair, the world would run pretty smoothly if she were running it. Pity she wasn’t around when the Engwithans were deifying people.)

Pistol :: Is this character skilled with aweapon? What’s their opinion of violence?Oh, very skilled with her knives, both for stabbing and throwing.Being in the Citlatl militia longer than the rest of the Itzli siblings has hardenedher to violence, as well, though not to a great extent as the city’s been atpeace for all her life and it’s just fairly routine patrols and scouting andsuch for now. She’s not necessarily looking for a fight (not physically, at least: she’s almost always challenging someone at least psychologically) but she won’t back down from one either.

Upcoming :: How much do they think of thefuture? Do they make long-term plans?Lots of contingency plans, I think. She has the most influence onthe family’s business pursuits these days, so she does a lot of networking fortrade contracts (oh, and I think I’ve settled on the family business being inthe textile industry… :-D They totally make fabric from Ginny’s alpaca yarn,too, and some of the embroidery on the finer bolts of cloth and on the garmentsmade for export is done by some Itzli siblings as well as hired employees…) and she oversees plans for production and that sort of thing. But then she also hasPlans B and C and several more degrees of what they’ll do if anything goeswrong. So it’s a long-term series of short-term plans? Sort of?

Glynis:

Jaded:: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard?Her life is the gods’. And…she’s a visionary. Like, literally, theHaven is the product of her visions (from the gods, she assumes, and she’s probably right). And theyhaven’t told her anything about settling down happily ever after, so that makesTicatl’s attempts at courtship kind of awkward for a while.

Law:: What do they think about abiding rules? Are they selective about it?She is a very rule-abiding missionary, convinced that only by being above-boardand doing all that they do among the heathen in the light of Eothas can theyconvince people to convert. (On some level she feels like consorting with Ticatl is breaking the rules, though asfar as I know there isn’t any such rule, but it’s more to do with her role asRectrix and her fear of dividing her attention too much if she falls in love…atsome point she was, ahem, selective enough about that self-imposed rule thatshe did in fact end up pregnant, though, so there’s that.)

Question:: How often do they feel doubt? What topics are they defensive about?She is not a philosopherlike Violet, so rather than welcoming doubt as a chance to examine the truth closer,she tends to try to outshine it and cling tighter to the tenets of Engwithanfaith, of which she’s pretty enthusiastically convinced. She’s a littledefensive about her visions of the Haven, when that first starts happening andshe’s trying to convince the other missionaries they need to build this thing.

Ianthe:

Alignment :: What would be their D&D alignment? How mightit come into play?Hmmmmm. Lawful neutral maybe, given her respect for authority evenwhen she’s not fully on board with Thaos’ methods?

Fluff :: What hits their soft spot? Does anything them intoemotional goo?Hugs from Glynis. Appreciation – Ianthina so regularly feelsoverlooked and persuades herself to just live with it, that if someone treatsher with genuine regard it’s a little overwhelming (and she’s forever grateful,once she gets over the initial suspicion depending on where said regard iscoming from).

Kin :: What’s their role among their relations? Do theyconsider others family?Hmmm well for actual blood relations, her parents died young but Idunno [yet] why, and I don’t think she had much other family – no siblings,maybe an aunt or uncle or something out there? And of course she ends upviewing Thaos as a father figure but that takes a while. I don’t know if sheeven got to the point of considering Glynis like family, though she’ll alwaysconsider her as her best friend, but their time together in training was brief,relative to the rest of Ianthe’s time in the gods’ service. (As for hersort-of-stepmother Deoiridh, in whatever version of the story gives them achance to get to know each other better, she kind of views her more asa…sister, or cousin or something, but keeps that view to herself. XD)

Question :: How often do they feel doubt? What topics arethey defensive about?Having had her doubts about the gods confirmed after theInquisition, and yet coming back to serve them anyway, she’s got a tendency nowto be even more skeptical and assume her doubts about anything are true. But tostill do what seems most practical, even if contrary to her doubts. She’s defensiveabout her role in the Inquisition, especially the lover she had who went overto Iovara’s cause, but she’s even more defensive about her inclination to mercyafter she returns to the gods’ service. It goes against all her practical nature,after all; but she’s just seen too muchruthlessness in the Inquisition to let that be her first resort anymore, evenif she feels at first like this disappoints her mentor…

Touch :: How do they handle contact? Is their personal bubblebig?She’s fairly aloof, definitely a big bubble, maybe something to dowith being an only child. Glynis was almost instantly granted an exception tothis standoffishness – look, when the first acolyte you meet in the barracks upon enteringtemple training greets you with an enthusiastic and very fluffy hug and then lookschagrined at overstepping and clearly hopes she hasn’t started off on the wrongfoot with her new roommate, sometimes you can’t help but set aside your awkwarddiscomfort and tell her it’s fine. And take a liking to this fluffy littleidealist with eyes as big as her dreams who clearly needs a more sensiblefriend to help rein in her wilder ideas. (Oh goodness, I really need to writesome early Ianthe & Glynis fic, don’t I?)

[vvakarians]

DA 20 Questions

Tagged by @goblin-deity ! Thank you fam! If anyone wants to be tagged consider yourself tagged!

1. Favorite game of the series

Inquisition! It’s the one I started with! It’s an amazing and beautiful game. 

2. How did you discover Dragon Age? 

There was a cosplayer I used to follow here on tumblr that cosplayed as this character named Dorian, and then they cosplayed as Fenris. I looked into both characters because I really liked the designs. From there I checked out the game from the library and fell in love with DAI!

3. How many times have you played the games?

I’ve played DAI too many times to count, I can probably count on my pc, which is a handful of times, otherwise on my ps4 at least 25. DA2 I’ve completed exactly twice, played it four times. DA:O I’ve completed exactly once, but played multiple times, like three times I think.

4. Favorite race to play as?

Elves or qunari!

5. Favorite class?

I absolutely love mages, always have. In DAI I play as a necromancer or knight enchanter, in DA2 I play as a blood mage or a spirit healer. I have a harder time playing as one in Origins, but I usually play as a blood mage or an arcane warrior. Other than that I play as a Double Handed Warrior, usually a Reaver or some other scary subclass lmao.

6. Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions?

In general I usually make the same choices kind of? Mostly because I can’t push myself to ally with the templars. I do edit my canons outside of the actual games, like Calliope allies with the Mages but they do end up saving the templars as well, just after they get to Skyhold. Artemaeus, my city elf who was adopted by the Dalish, sided with the mages but left the templars to fend for themselves (save for Barris who did not deserve to die). Honi, my Adaar, sided with the mages and conscripted the templars, she was pretty harsh on them but decided that both sides could benefit from coming together. In general I haven’t changed my stance on the Grey Wardens, it wasn’t their fault that Clarel had a moment of weakness in being manipulated and I couldn’t find my Inquisitors justifying anger towards them enough to banish them. With Halamshiral I can’t in any way place Celene on the throne, it’s just my personal thing. After reading Masked Empire I said nah. But if ya like her that’s cool. I don’t usually have someone drink from the Well, I considered it with Callie, but I felt that shit could go down from a Solas perspective and I was not about that angst. 

7. Go to adventuring party?

1st World State: Tauriel Mahariel /Ophelia Hawke/ Calliope Lavellan

DAO: Alistair/Zevran or Leliana/Morrigan or Wynne 

DA2 (When I need Anders): Anders/ Aveline/ interchangeable rogue

DA2 (When I need Fenris): Fenris/ Sebastian or Varric / Merrill

DAI (Base Game): Solas/ Sera or Cole/ Iron Bull

DAI (Hakkon): Dorian/ Iron Bull/ Sera or Cole

DAI (Descent): Vivienne/ Iron Bull/ Sera

DAI (Trespasser): Dorian /Iron Bull / Interchangeable rogue

2nd World State: Aviel Tabris / Valentyne Hawke / Honi Adaar

DAO: Alistair / Leliana or Zevran / Wynne

DA2: Anders (or Merrill)/ Isabela / Fenris (or Aveline)

DAI: Dorian (or Vivienne) / Sera / Iron Bull (or Blackwall)

3rd World State: Mah’Vir Surana / Sparrow Hawke / Artemaeus Lavellan

DAO: Zevran / Morrigan / Alistair (or Sten)

DA2: Fenris / Merrill (or Anders) / Interchangeable Rogue

DAI: Dorian (or Solas) / Cole or Sera / Cassandra

8. Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

Calliope 100%, I put most of the thought into my first world state characters. Tauriel was the easiest to make and her canon hasn’t changed much, same with Ophelia, but all three of my heroes were well, well thought out. I’ve had four or five years of making them under my belt.

9. Favorite romance?

For angst, absolutely Solas. You can’t get much more angsty than that. Other than that my most favorite romance is Fenris’, he’s a character that I love greatly and as a sexual abuse survivor with PTSD I related to him a lot lmao. 

10. Have you read any of the comics/books?

I have all of the books except for Last/First Flight (?), I’m currently reading Masked Empire. I also have the World of Thedas Volume...2? And I have the first Magekiller comic.

11. If you’ve read them, which was your favorite book? 

Masked Empire for sure, it’s because I love Felassan.

12. Favorite DLC’s?

Trespasser or Jaws of Hakkon, I absolutely love the stories in both. I’m also biased towards my favorite of the series/I love killing Dragons. And Veil Quartz, I love Veil Quartz.

13. Things that annoy you?

The fandom mostly. I fucking hate some of y’all shits. I hate the lack of rep too, they did fucking great in DA2 with almost every LI being bisexual. Could have done that with DAI with the straight LI’s but, shrugs. Other than that I don’t hate it much. 

14. Orlais or Ferelden?

Orlais, it has the Emerald Graves and I love big ass trees. 

15. Templars or mages?

Is that even a question? Mages

16.  If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

I have three separate world states, and then an AU with @trans-aloth . Calliope’s has at least 25 separate oc’s in it because I’m a fucking menace. Other than that they usually stay seperate. Alexx and I combined worldstates with Cianan and Callies for that AU. 

17. What did you name your pets?

I only have names for Calliopes world state pets, but I will def name the rest of the others when I play. 

Tauriel: Kili (mabari)

Cassiopeia: Ser Claws (mabari)

Merielle: Howl (mabari)

Serynn: Athena (mabari)

Fen’Asha: Pluto (mabari)

Ophelia: Willoughby (mabari)

Calliope: Bones (Deepstalker) , Enasalin (Dracolisk) 

18. Have you installed any mods? 

I did way back when I thought my computer could handle it. Still got all of them downloaded but I play primarily on my ps4 or ps3.

19. Did your Warden want to be a Grey Warden? 

Tauriel had accepted the fact that she needed to become a Warden and only was angry about it when Duncan said that it was no place for the children. She managed to convince him to let her take them however. Cassie did not want to become a Warden and fought it tooth and nail, but had nowhere else to go. Serynn had accepted it wholeheartedly, it wasn’t much of an issue. Merielle wanted to get out of the Circle but was difficult in taking the Ritual because she didn’t like the fatality rate. Fen’Asha was also in that same boat and at first saw it as another injustice. 

20. Hawke’s personality? 

Ophelia is a securely purple unless dealing with templars, then it’s Red through and through. Halcyon (their eldest sister) is a Red Hawke, Blue with her family, and Hero is a Blue Hawke, Red with templars.

21. Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquistion? 

Yes! I usually do! I use a gold/red/black color scheme, so it involves a lot of fucking Dragon Bone. 

22. If your character could go back in time and change one thing what would it be?

Tauriel would have gone back and saved Tamlen. She would have insisted that they look for him and at the very least if they found him they would make him a Grey Warden too. If that wasn’t an option she’d make sure Evra and Krie didn’t get traumatized by the fact their father was killed by a mirror of all things. 

Ophelia would go back in time and watch their mother more closely, or perhaps ask Carver not to go to the Deep Roads with them. Leandra’s death was the hardest thing they ever had to go through aside from handing Carver over to the Grey Wardens. The estate just felt so empty without Leandra. 

Calliope would go back in time and save their best friend from being taken by the templars. But they also realize that things would have been vastly different or the both of them that way. And they also realize that they were pretty young when Isi was taken from the Clan, they wouldn’t have been able to do much. It’s just something that haunts them to this day. 

23. Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

Calliope is a mage and a warrior, SO I MEAN. Calliope’s home clan is also from Orlais and their mother is a former slave from Tevinter who then went to the Kirkwall Circle after being captured in the Free Marches.Other than that they end up with a First Enchanter that’s an oc of @trans-aloth ‘s. I also have an oc that ends up with Varric, because I have a distaste for the real life Bianca. Tauriel also ends up in a poly relationship with Cassiopeia and Alistair. Other than that, Alistair, Zevran, and several other people are trans. 

24. Who did you leave in the Fade?

Stroud, all three times.

25. Favorite mount?

Dracolisk’s or any of the Harts, I love ugly boys and giant elk.

[dayntee]

[Pillars: Deadfire] Frigid Nightmares

This whole thing came about as a result of me accidentally wandering into the Beast of Winter DLC and being WHOLLY unprepared for it (IE getting my ass utterly handed to me). After rolling back a fair notch, I’ve continued on, but I also tried to mentally justify the detour, backtrack, and continued exploration of the Deadfire and this... whatever it is, is what resulted. 

Summary: Ydwin’s insistence on investigating the invitation from Rymrgand’s faithful rubs Aloth the wrong way; his consciousness (both his own and a suppressed Iselmyr) pulls him in two directions. Should he follow his captain’s orders or push an agenda that’s more personal than he’s willing to admit?

Rating: PG-13, for some depicted gruesome violence

Relationships: Aloth x F!Watcher (unspoken/unresolved, ANGST AHOY)

Spoilers: Deadfire, Beast of Winter DLC (light)

Notes: Still finding Idralia’s accent, but it’s Aedyran with a Deadfire dull to it. Writing it out is almost as challenging as speaking it on stream. Imagine it landing somewhere between Aloth’s mid-Atlantic and Serafin’s super casual pirate cadence. And then trying not to make it sound Dyrwoodan. 

Also available here on AO3

A curled, familiar piece of tanned leather suddenly appeared before Idralia’s face. As she gently pushed it aside, the stern glare of Ydwin appeared from behind it, decisively reaching up with her spare hand to adjust her glasses on the bridge of her nose. 

“Watcher. You’ve had this invitation for weeks. Do you have any intention of investigating its source?” 

Idralia reached up and removed her eye patch, rubbing the protected eye for a moment as it re-adjusted back to the dim light below decks. She had no medical need for the patch, but her experience as a sharpshooter on the high seas had long since taught her the value in keeping an eye dim for travelling above and below deck. She preferred, however, to meet her companions with both eyes when discussing matters of import.

“Of course I do. I’d like to think that in the time you’ve been aboard The Defiant, you’ve noticed I‘m a woman of my word,” she took the missive from Ydwin’s insistent grasp, re-reading the contents over again. The thin, jagged writing in red disconcerted her; things were weird enough on the ship with Xoti’s slow descent into constant bloodlust and a growing tension between herself and Aloth that sailing to the furthest southern reaches to freeze her arse off didn’t seem like a logical next step. “There’s just, you know, this whole matter of Eothas destroying the Deadfire by wading through it like a toddler’s bathing pool, a stack of unclaimed bounties that’re honestly starting to rot, and the needs of our other compatriots to attend to. We’re sort of a busy lot,” 

Ydwin said nothing, crossing her arms and staring intently until Idralia met her gaze again. Once she did, the scout felt a prickling in her senses at the back of her mind as she felt the cipher reach out to her mentally.

And is that to say that my own concerns or interests are not as important as theirs? she questioned, and Idralia winced at the implication. Ydwin had largely been confined to the ship since she had first boarded in Neketaka, and that had been even several more weeks prior to the receipt of the mysterious invitation from whomever this “Vatnir” was. She simply shook her head and she could feel the bubbling frustration from the pale elf. 

“Really wish you wouldn’t do that. It’s not necessary. Listen, I don’t know how much time I have left. I could die tomorrow from this whole splintered soul thing for all I know. It’s like... I don’t know what it’s like, I’m not sure anyone else out there has wandered about with only half of themselves,” she screwed her face in her own frustration, trying to make sense of her rapid string of thoughts. 

This is why I do this. You are conflicted and trying to take on too much. Slow down. Focus on this for a while - perhaps a focused distraction will allow you to more easily sort out your... other priorities. Idralia picked up on the hesitation of thought in Ydwin’s message, but before she could ask for clarification, the cipher had turned abruptly on her heel to exit the captain’s quarters. She dropped her face into a hand, rubbing at the bridge of her own nose and pushing upward to relieve pressure she’d been harboring in her sinuses—missing the unapologetic brush of shoulders between Ydwin and Aloth as he made his way in. 

Aloth cast a glance Ydwin’s way as she pushed past him with no sign of hesitation. While he held respect for Ydwin’s pursuit of knowledge in the metaphysics, her unapologetic approach to animancy rubbed him the wrong way. ‘No matter,’ he supposed, turning his attention back to the distracted Watcher.

It was clear to him for quite some time now that Idralia had been holding back the discussion regarding the nature of their friendship. While he still wasn’t certain he was ready to broach the topic himself, he did recognize she was respecting a boundary she had set years ago with him and he admired her diligence. Catching himself staring, he cleared his throat, and the woman snapped to attention, straightening in her desk chair and dropping a roll of leather to the floor, where it began to rock slowly with the listing of the ship. Aloth bent and picked up the missive before Idralia had fully regained her awareness, and his eyes skimmed its contents before he could stop himself.

“Ah - the Dead Floe is our next course then, captain?” he used the title playfully and enjoyed the pink that traveled up her ears at his use of it. Idralia wasn’t a fan of the title, particularly when used by her former adventuring party. With the plethora of time she had spent teasing him on their previous adventures, he found he was beginning to appreciate turning the tables. 

“Oh, w-well,” she stuttered a moment, regaining her composure with a deep breath before dropping her tricorn unceremoniously on the desk and relaxing in his company. Even when he did catch her off guard, she never took long to return to her more confident, certain bearing. “I think that would be Ydwin’s preference. I’ve been... having trouble focusing on one task at a time, and she requested her own interests take a priority for a time. I s'pose that’s not much different than taking a detour to Ori o Koiki, right?”

Aloth hummed an agreement and nodded. She had a point; it would be rather obvious favoritism if she weren’t equally willing to investigate the needs of their other companions. ‘An’ yet ye dinnae mine a thot ye might be th’ importan one, aye?’ Iselmyr bubbled from deep within his psyche, cackling all the while he silently pushed her back down. Opportunities to poke and prod at his most insecure feelings—that was often the most likely times his elder ego would make herself heard. At least her thoughts rarely, if ever, spilled from his mouth these days.

“That seems fair, to say the least. Still,” he hesitated, and Idralia re-focused her attention on him. 

“Tell me your thoughts, Aloth. You know I trust your opinion,” he felt a smile twitch at the side of his mouth, knowing full well how much she valued his council. It was odd to him that someone who was so certain in her actions would seek insight from someone as unsure as he was; oft before she’d claimed it was because she valued how very differently he perceived the world. As he grew to know her, however, he suspected it was because they were more alike than either cared to admit and he reaffirmed her beliefs rather than than questioned them. 

“Something about it simply seems... off. But I suppose that could be my predisposition for distrust in theological cults with extreme beliefs,” he gave a slight shrug and Idralia laughed. 

“You kind of have good reason to be suspicious. Maybe all the more reason to check this out sooner rather than later,” she waved off the notion and stood with a stretch. “Never mind all that, though, I doubt you came in here to talk about Ydwin. What do you need, Aloth?” she hipped her hand and gave him that carefree smile, the one that made him believe without a doubt she knew exactly where she was going, how she was going to get there, and reaffirmed his decision in tagging along on her adventures. 

In that moment, his heart skipped a beat and, just like that, his resolve was gone again. Logically, he knew better. Fear of rejection was ridiculous because he already knew she harbored feelings for him—she’d more or less confirmed that within hours of his rejoining her group. Emotionally though, there was the fear of hurting her, of breaking her heart... now that was a fate to which he was terrified he might find himself. It was his turn to backpedal. 

“A-ah, oh, I-I’m... afraid you’ve preemptively answered my inquiry. I was merely wondering where we might be sailing to next,” he attempted to shrug nonchalantly once more, but he knew she was far too perceptive to ignore the stiffness in his shoulders and forced movement. She smiled, a sad sort of resignation in her eyes, and she scooped up her eye patch and cap from the desk before moving up to place her other hand on his shoulder. 

“Another time then,” she promised quietly, and his bare shoulder burned with the absence of her warmth as she moved past, donning her headgear once more and moving above deck.

‘Ya bullocksed tha’ one, Corfiser,’ he felt the mockery wave through again and this time he allowed Iselmyr to chide him. Quite frankly, he felt he deserved it. "Not like ye kin run afar offa ship, ye dafty,” he found himself muttering alone, and he bit the inside of his cheek to quell the bubbling criticisms, lest another crew mate overhear. He had maintained fair control of Iselmyr and, even if in this matter she was right, he wasn’t about to let it go again. 

Sighing, he returned below decks, settling himself in his bunk where he might distract his thoughts with his latest grimoire acquisition or simply drift off. Anywhere he could be without thoughts that rang too true.

“It’s casting again! Aloth, can you sto-” Idralia’s command was lost the moment she was blown back by a blast of bitter cold and hail. Already, Ydwin, Xoti, and Cantelope all lay unconscious at the feet of the gargantuan rotting beast, its rancid wings flapping languidly amidst the biting cold winds of the Dead Floe. Idralia’s bow skidded several feet away from her grasp across the icy ground, and it took every last bit of Aloth’s concentration to maintain the spell he was forming. His arcane reserves were burning low, and he only had a handful of spells remaining that seemed to have any effect on the lumbering so-called Herald of Rymrgand. Even Idralia’s normally fearsome powerful shots were barely penetrating its frozen hide. 

Idralia scrambled through the snow, scraping away her eye patch to rely on her full sight, squinting against the bright sky as she adjusted to the sudden influx of light. She whirled about on the ground, bringing up her warbow with both hands just a huge claw came down to attempt to crush her into the ground. She managed to prop it between her and the dragon, straining against an impossible strength, and Aloth knew there was only a moment more he might take advantage of the distraction that could save all their lives—or doom them all.

“Athek werthan roth!” with emphasis, he finished the last fiery incantation he had remaining, watching the fireball form around the rear of the beast and scorching its back flank. ‘It’s not enough!’ he panicked, and the first crunch he heard following the explosion was not half as sickening as the second.

Idralia screamed in pain, one of the dragon’s huge claws pinning her to the ground through nearly the whole of her left shoulder, her leather armor easily sundered and barely enough skin and sinew remaining to keep her arm attached to her torso. Her left fingers spasmed out with raw nerve stimulation, her right hand coming up to grasp the splintered remains of her family heirloom, the only item of purchase she could find. Blood pooled below her, vibrant against the stark white below.

“IDRALIA, NO!” was all Aloth could manage before he was immediately weaving another spell, this time an unerring Minoletta’s. But the enemy was faster yet, unnaturally so, as it slammed a backhanded claw into Eder’s shield, sending the Dyrwoodan man flying back into the remains of the ice sculpture of Rymrgand, his head knocking violently against the pedestal and stilling him at the base.

“A-Aloth,” the elf barely heard his name over the harsh whistling, and he dared to look once more in the direction of the one he had truly come to care for, despite his reticence in letting her know. And there it was. That knowing smile. The one that would normally warm his heart instead sank it deep within his chest, settling in his stomach where he doubted it would ever rise again. 

‘I can’t save them,’ he realized, the spell he was finishing fizzling in his grasp as another claw came down around his captain’s body, covering it from his view, but not without causing a gruesome splatter. His stomach churned and he looked away, knowing his distance from the fight simply meant he would be the last to join them.

He swore the dragon began to chuckle as it inhaled again, filling its chest with frozen air intended to erase him from existence. This foe was just too strong. As once more the icy chill of snow and hail began to rain around him, numbing his core, he was left only with that failure. ‘I can’t save her,”  

He awoke drenched in sweat, a stark contrast from the chill of the nightmare that was rapidly escaping his mind. He was breathing sharply, and pushed his grimoire from his chest, a heavy thud hitting the deck below that caused him to wince. Thankfully, he realized none of the light sleepers were present, with Eder heavily snoring in the hammock below his and Serafin’s smaller form curled up in a cot across the way.

‘A quick walk then,’ he wiped his brow with his blanket, nimbly exiting his hammock and replacing his grimoire among his other belongings before heading above deck, taking his time to avoid eye contact with any of the other crew he happened by. 

“Bad dreams takin’ to you too, Aloth?” Xoti echoed from the hall as he climbed upward, and he tried not to startle at the sudden acknowledgement. She was always where you never expected these days, and it was rapidly becoming disconcerting.

“AAH, ah, yes. You could say that,” he looked anywhere but her eyes as she loomed forward with interest, the soft and eerie glow of her lantern brightening as she grew closer. She unhooked it from her belt and peered within, as though seeking some answer from it, before eyeing him once more.

“They haunt me too. Every night. I wonder if I’ll ever get a proper sleep again...” she chuckled suddenly, as if in on her own joke. “But of course I will. When Gaun’s done with me, that is,” 

“W-well. We can’t all hope for divine intervention. I’ll just be getting some fresh air,” he brusquely shut down the conversation, desiring little more insight to the demons that undoubtedly haunted the Dawnstar priestess, and deeply hoping either she or the Watcher had that situation under control. Xoti shrugged and Aloth quickly exited, closing the door to below decks quite firmly behind him. 

It was just past midnight, partially cloudy, which allowed his eyes to adjust quickly to the deep nighttime sky. He took a deep breath, exhaling just as purposefully and noted the fog caused by his warm breath in the air. ‘We’re heading south,’ he acknowledged, and he shuddered, in part due to the chilly night as well as from the lingering horrors of his dreams.

“Can’t sleep?” he heard from above, and he didn’t bother glancing up. Idralia often spent her time in the rigging or crow’s nest when she wasn’t in her quarters. He hadn’t fully expected to find her out here at this hour, but then her proclivity for wearing a patch often meant she stretched her eyes in the dark rather than the light. 

“I slept well enough, but...” he shook his head. It was a dream, for gods sakes. Divination wasn’t his strong suit or a personally strong belief, particularly after learning the mortal nature of the so-called deities. Surely, dreams could hold meaning, but why would the divine ever reveal a truth to him when they could speak directly to the Watcher?

He heard a gentle thump as Idralia dropped down behind him, and he leaned against the railing of the ship, looking out and anywhere but at her. The memories, even if they were imagined, were still too fresh. Thankfully, she didn’t press, leaning backwards into the railing instead so that they might not need to meet eye to eye.

“You know, I’m not fond of the cold. Hate it, actually. Winter’s my least favorite season,” she wrinkled her nose. “Part of why I like the Deadfire so much. Stick in the right parts and it’s pleasant year-round,” 

“I find it hard to believe that pirates, sea monsters, ghost ships, and conniving bureaucrats are that much better than a bit of snow and wind,” he replied, thankful for the distraction in conversation.

“A whole lot more exciting at any rate. Your ship gets frozen and there winds up being not much to do but sit around. I prefer to keep moving,” he could see the hint of a smile on her lips from the corner of her sight, and he smirked in response.

“Is that why we’ve been everywhere around the Deadfire except Magran’s Teeth?” she laughed uneasily at the question and turned slowly to face out to the water, her smile more sheepish now.

“You’ve got me. There’s a lot I want to end, especially this whole half-a-soul situation, but...” she grew quiet, contemplative, and he saw her glance his way again. Still, he could not meet her eyes. “But not everything,” she finished quietly, and he understood there was so much more unsaid behind her statement. 

That moment hung between them a while, the two listening to the waves hit the side of the ship, the creak of the wood and rigging, the flap of the canvas sails in the night breeze. It centered both of them in different ways and, for a moment, he was back on the roads of the Dyrwood with her, when they might instead be listening to the crackle of the campfire and the crickets in the countryside. 

“Well,” he started, after a time, “I think there’s still quite a lot we have left to do. And we don’t have to start with the coldest tasks first,” he finally turned his head to look at her, and she met his eyes. He smiled gently, encouragingly, and she chuckled.

“What, tell Ydwin to wait her turn?” she sighed, and he could tell she bore the weight of responsibility to her crew and their needs.

“The choice is ultimately yours. You’re the captain, after all—we’re all going to go where you take us,” he reasoned. “Certainly you might need to approach things with more focus but... perhaps consider that focus should be on something for you.” 

Idralia looked at him with a more startled glance and she studied his face for a moment. After a while, she closed her eyes, turned her head back out over the water, and sighed. 

“You give good advice, Aloth. Perhaps I shouldn’t get ahead of myself on this one... and honestly, those bounties actually are starting to rot,” 

“I mean, I wasn’t going to bring it up, but...”

“But they’re stored in a chest below Tekehu’s bunk and you don’t mind his quiet torment?” she winked at him and he suppressed a smile in spite of himself. 

“Even I’m not that cruel,” he raised his hands helplessly and Idralia gave him a gentle shove. 

“Alright, you’ve made your point. I think we’ve got quite a bit to report on back at Neketaka. And honestly... I could use a dip in the bath house again. I doubt the crew would fight me much on that one,” she reasoned, and they both knew full well a shore leave would be well-received. 

“I’ll never be one to complain,” Aloth reassured and Idralia returned a smug grin. ‘Oh no,’ He walked into this one, and he knew it.

She leaned in close, uncomfortably close, and murmured.

“You’ve never been one to complain about a good view, Corfiser,” 

Without giving him so much as a second to sputter in protest, she pushed herself from the railing and headed to the door below decks, casting a last sidelong glance at him to enjoy the bewildered look on his face. The night was too dark to catch the beet red blush across his cheeks, spreading onward to the tips of his ears, but he hardly doubted she needed the visual confirmation of his discomfort. They knew each other far too well. 

He let her close the door behind her before he sighed to himself, sinking his hot face in his hands down against the railing until he felt the cool wooden surface on his forehead. ‘I’ve avoided one catastrophe,’ he reassured himself, though he wasn’t so certain his nightmare was anything more than the feverish imagination of his innate worrywart. 

‘But what else am I walking into?’ he wondered, knowing with growing certainty he couldn’t keep this awkward dance of theirs going on forever.

[masterskywalkers]

Still I Call It Magic

Relationships: Faeluna (The Watcher) / Aloth Corfiser (pre-relationship)

Summary: While The Defiant continues on its path towards Neketaka, Faeluna and Aloth finally find the opportunity to talk more openly with one another. But have the years apart only managed to create a rift between them?

[AO3 link here]

Faeluna rubs a hand against her forehead, attempting to fight what is a rapidly building headache. The grimoire she’s been reading from rests in her lap, any attempt at studying or making notes for the new spells she’s trying to learn long forgotten. Instead she lets out a heavy sigh, carefully leaning her head back against the wooden wall behind her. She opens her eyes, turning her head to gaze out the port window beside her, staring at the endless blue expanse of the sea stretching out across the view. The seemingly endless, wild oceans of the Deadfire.

She’s starting to grow used to the headaches now. The constant exhaustion she experiences not so much - but at the very least it’s become a little more bearable since Eothas has returned a piece of her soul to her. Faeluna often wonders how much of her current lethargy is due to the majority of it remaining separated from her or if it's instead related to the ongoing stress from her new responsibilities, although after speaking with Edér briefly she’s come to believe it’s probably a mixture of both things.

This current headache of hers she knows is born from a number of things. It’s born from what she saw when making contact with the Adra pillar, from the conversation she shared with Eothas.

It’s born from how conflicted she feels - what with the little anyone can understand of his intentions. After all, why would a God known for kindness towards kith become the source of so much death and disruption in the world?

It’s born from the unknown - not just of what Faeluna has once again become involved with concerning Eothas and the other Gods, but also of what to expect once the Defiant docks at Neketaka.

Yet aside from all of those things, the pulsing tension building within her temples is also born thanks to the presence of an old friend.

Aloth.

Finding Aloth had been ... unexpected, to say the least. Waking to have both Edér and Steward by her side had been a relief to Faeluna, and she could not have been more thankful - not to mention glad - to know that she wasn’t going to be facing this new catastrophe the world’s facing alone. She’d missed Edér terribly, even if they had seen one another less than a year ago. Aloth on the other hand ...

Faeluna had lost contact with him nearly three years ago. His work in taking down the Leaden Key is something that’s incredibly delicate, a fact of which she understands well enough, but it never stopped her from worrying all the same. After the first year of silence Faeluna had feared greatly for Aloth’s safety, and by the second with no contact, no sign to let her to know he was still alive —

She’d honestly believed he'd died.

It had felt like someone had punched the air out of her when she saw him. It took everything within her not to run to him, to decide whether she wanted to hug him or slap him for making her worry so much. Instead Faeluna settled for the teasing - drawing out as much praise for Engferth from the animancers as she could, watching as the tips of Aloth’s ears reddened and he shifted from one foot to the other under the unwanted attention. She felt how from beside her Edér was watching carefully between the both of them, knowing the real discussion would happen much later.

A discussion which still had not been shared.

There had been little time. Aloth was reluctant to talk in greater detail whilst they still remained around Port Maje, and Faeluna had agreed that there would be time to talk to each other in more detail later. Now that later had arrived however the very thought of where to even begin made her feel uneasy. It's daft, truly, since Faeluna knows they had been close to one another once, but it's been so long. What if they'd both become different people during their time apart? She has no idea where Aloth's been or what he's seen since the contact faded between the two of them, and Faeluna barely even knows who or what she is now her life is tethered to Berath.

She groans, pressing her hand harder against her forehead as another wave of tension beats like a drum against her skull. Talking with Aloth had always been so easy in the past. Natural, in fact. It certainly never left her with fluttering anxiety before.

"Are you alright?"

Faeluna’s head shoots up, the unexpected voice surprising her. She hadn’t expected anyone to enter her quarters - most of the crew knock before letting themselves in - and yet standing by her door is none other than Aloth himself. Faeluna tries to hide her shock at seeing him, instead taking notice of the way his fingers are fidgeting as he clasps his hands together in front of himself. It’s a familiar stance, she realises, her gaze moving up to where she notes the look of concern stretched across Aloth’s face.

"Yes," She lies, dropping her hand back into her lap as she looks away, her ears giving a slight twitch. The lie only lasts a second before Faeluna is closing her eyes and frowning to herself. She shakes her head. Sighs. "No."

Faeluna listens to the sound of Aloth's footsteps as he makes his way across the small room towards her. She breathes in a slow, deep breath, her heart suddenly beating fiercely within her chest. She does her best to ignore it.

"I spoke to Edér," Aloth begins, voice as gentle as Faeluna remembers it to be. She finally looks towards him as the bed dips. Aloth sits at the edge, close to where Faeluna’s legs are curled up on top of the covers. "He told me about your headaches. The tiredness."

"I've had worse," Faeluna replies, briefly wondering just how much Edér's managed to share regarding her unique situation. She gives a one shouldered shrug. "At least it's not memories of a past life spiralling me into a deep madness this time."

She watches the curve of Aloth's lips raise to a faint smile, although his worry doesn't fade.

"That's true. Still, if you're not feeling well -"

"I'm fine, Aloth," Faeluna interrupts, reaching across the bed to rest one of her hands upon his. She shares a small smile, hoping to reassure him. "It's nothing I can't handle, at least. Eothas might hold the majority of my soul right now, but I'll get it back.” She pauses, brow knitting together into a frown. “Somehow."

It takes a moment for her to come out of her thoughts, and she only does because she feels Aloth twist his hand so that it was holding hers in return. He lets out a small laugh.

"You know, you're probably the only person I know who would respond to a God taking their soul as ‘nothing they couldn't handle’. If I didn't know you as well as I do, I wouldn't believe you.”

Her cheeks suddenly grow warm, and Faeluna's eyes dart down to where their hands are joined. Aloth’s attention falls to them too, and she hears him let out a quiet 'oh' before gently pulling away. He clears his throat as they both look away.

"What I mean to say is -"

"I know what you meant to say, Aloth," Faeluna says, letting out a small chuckle. She brings her grimoire up against her chest, wrapping her arms around it as she curls her legs up further beneath herself. "I appreciate it. Granted, I'd much rather prefer to be sitting in my old chair at Brighthollow and keeping warm in front of the fire rather than chasing Eothas across the Deadfire, but seeing as that's quite an impossibility now ..."

"I'm truly sorry about Caed Nua. I know it meant a lot to you."

The sincerity in Aloth's words pierce Faeluna's heart. She's barely spoken about Caed Nua to anyone - only Edér and Steward when she first woke on the ship. But of course Aloth understands her pain - he had been there when they'd first happened upon it left in ruin. He knows that there were many a memory shared within the walls of that Keep; memories filled with both hardships and fond laughter during the days before everyone had left to continue on their separate ways. Faeluna had gone as far as to keep Aloth's room free for him - just incase he ever returned to visit, or decided he wanted to stay for a while.

"It was home. And now ... now it's all gone."

It's a wound that runs far deeper than just the loss of the Keep itself. It's the loss of the only thing Faeluna has ever yearned for - home. The search for a home had been what had led her to the Dyrwood in the first place, and for a few years she had been content. Now, she just feels lost again.

"Steward and Edér have been wonderful. They got this ship -" she looks up, her eyes darting around the space of her quarters " - and a crew too. Apparently it ran my funds dry as I only have enough gold left for food and medical supplies, but it's better than nothing." A frown creases Faeluna’s brow as a thought comes to her. "I've never really considered how much a ship this size would cost before now."

"I'll admit, it's never crossed my mind either. Usually I'm just paying for passage ... unless Iselymr's causing a scene because she thinks the price isn't fair."

A smile starts to dawn upon Faeluna’s face at that.

"You're still getting along with Iselymr, I take it?"

"Things are ... better," Aloth settles for. Despite the brief hesitation in his words however Faeluna can tell he means it. "She's easier to live with, but she still has her moments where she frustrates me. There have been a few occasions where she's caused me needless trouble."

"Isn't that part of her charm though?" Faeluna asks, gently nudging Aloth's side with her foot. Aloth gives her a pointed look in return.

"Not always. I suppose she means well, in her own way."

A frown creases Aloth's forehead as something catches his eye. He tilts his head to one side, curiously watching Faeluna, and Faeluna can't help but to be confused. She follows his gaze, looking down towards the grimoire she's holding pressed against her chest.

"Is that the grimoire I gave to you?" He asks, sounding surprised.

Faeluna nods, offering the book towards him. Aloth takes it from her, holding the grimoire with care. He touches a hand over the familiar cover, tracing the engraved image of a tree that sits in the centre. Faeluna watches how his lips curve upwards, notices the way his eyes have lit up with awe.

"I can't believe you even still have this."

"Of course I do," Faeluna quickly replies. "Why wouldn't I?"

Aloth looks towards her, his eyes growing slightly wide.

"Because I gave it to you over five years ago."

"And? I notice you still have this." She taps a finger against a silver ring sitting on Aloth's right index finger. "I gave that to you long before you gave me the book."

"Point taken," Aloth says, the words coming out around a huff of laughter. "I did notice you were using different spells earlier, but I didn't give much thought about how some of them weren't related to your abilities as a druid. May I?"

“Sure,” Faeluna agrees with a shrug, allowing Aloth to look through the book. “After all, you were the one that introduced me to wizardry in the first place. Maybe I’ve learnt something even you’ll be impressed with.”

"The fact you've been continuing to learn such spells is already impressing me. They're not always the easiest to get a grasp of."

Faeluna watches as Aloth delicately goes through the grimoire. She notices how his mouth moves as he reads, miming the words sat upon the page to himself, almost as if he were testing out how they felt to say. Her notes are hardly as tidy or as organised as she's seen his own to be - Faeluna often thought their scurried scrawl mirrored the chaotic rush of her own mind - yet Aloth seems to either hardly notice or hardly care.

As he turns another page Faeluna suddenly begins to feel her cheeks start to grow warm, noticing one of the many sketches she'd attempted to draw to help with a spell she'd once had trouble mastering sitting upon the page. Aloth's hand touches it, his smile brightening.

"I'm not the best artist," She confesses, tugging at her sleeve self-consciously.

"I quite like your drawings, actually," Aloth says with a laugh. "They have character."

"That's just a polite way of saying that they're no better than a child's."

"And most children's drawings are known to be very charming."

Faeluna lets out a little laugh of her own, shaking her head with a grin.

When her laughter fades she continues to watch Aloth as he silently flicks through more pages of her book. Her grin fades into something soft, a familiar warmth blooming deep within her chest. It isn't an unwelcome feeling, rather the opposite. Faeluna feels comfortable, like the years missing between them were non-existent. She almost feels silly for how nervous she'd been before, the way she had worried things would feel far too strange or that time would changed who they were.

"I missed you."

It's a simple fact, one that likely didn't even need to be voiced. Aloth's attention returns to Faeluna, who watches him peacefully. There are no expectations, and Faeluna doesn't ask for any explanations. She knows Aloth will tell her of what he's been up to over the past five years in his own time. All Faeluna really cares about currently is that she gets this again. They get this again.

Aloth reaches for her hand, squeezing it as he meets her gaze with sorrowful eyes.

"I missed you too," he returns. "And I’m sorry that I haven't written to you in so long. I never intended -"

"It's alright," Faeluna cuts in, shaking her head. "I understand. I always knew you were busy, what with all your work tracking and taking down the Leaden Key. I'm just ... I'm really glad you're alright."

"And I’m glad that you’re alright. After what happened … you’re lucky to even be alive.”

Faeluna tries not to wince, realising Edér likely hasn’t told Aloth about how or even why Berath had come to her in the first place. She’s thankful in a way, knowing all too well that the whole truth would only worry Aloth. Faeluna knows she’ll tell him - the thought of keeping something so big from Aloth isn’t something that sits right with her - but … not right now.

Instead she moves her free hand to gently brush a stray piece of his hair away from Aloth’s forehead, near to where a new and unfamiliar scar sits close to his hairline. Faeluna forces her smile to return, albeit heavier than it had been.

“I think there are both more than a few stories we can share about what we’ve been through these past few years,” she says, her fingertips lightly tracing the scar. Aloth pulls her hand away and interlaces his fingers with hers, settling both of their joined hands between them.

“That’s certainly true.” He breathes out with a long, heavy sigh. “It’s strange to think that I can actually talk to someone about matters pertaining to Leaden Key once more. A welcome relief, actually. I feel as if I’ve had to keep so much of who I am and what I’ve been doing a  secret from anyone I’ve met for so long now.”

“Oh, I’m sure the Leaden Key isn’t something Engferth would have any knowledge about.”

“You’re not going to let me forget that now, are you?” Aloth asks, raising an amused eyebrow.

“After you told your animancer friends that I was your wealthy, older Aunt who had mysteriously died in a fire?  Absolutely not,” answers Faeluna.

“It seemed like a convenient story at the time. Besides, you do have the oldest soul out of anyone I know.”

Faeluna rolls her eyes, shaking her head with a small grin. The awoken part of her had been dormant ever since the events of Sun In Shadow, and although she very much doubts that the soul she carries from a previous life has truly left her, Faeluna assumes that with all the questions they’d carried for so many years surrounding Thaos finally answered, they’ll continue to rest peacefully now.

“I must thank you again, by the way,” Aloth begins, sharing a grateful smile which starts to fade as he continues. “For maintaining my story in front of Benessa and the others. I didn’t enjoy deceiving them, but it seemed simpler than the alternative.”

“And lonelier, I’d imagine.” She gave his hand another reassuring squeeze. “From what I saw, you seemed to really care for them. But … they didn’t really know you, did they?”

Aloth takes in a deep breath, gently pulling his hands away from Faeluna’s and resting them on the cover of her grimoire. She notices the nervous way his fingertips begin to trace the engraved patterns of the book once more.

“How could I tell them anything? I’m trying to take down one of the most secretive and troublesome secret organisations in all of Eora. One that has a rather … tangled history when it comes to animancy. It’s not something I could very well share with them.”

“I get that. It doesn’t mean having to live in such a way is easy though.”

Aloth seems to pause, attention focused on the grimoire still as he thinks over the words. Eventually he gives a gentle shrug of his shoulder.

“No. But it was necessary.” Aloth says, his brow knitting together tightly. “Nothing about the past five years has been easy, however. Tracking down Leaden Key circles, trying to break them down … it’s been a lot more difficult than I had first anticipated.”

“Really?” asks Faeluna.

She’s not surprised to hear that the work had proven difficult - Faeluna knew well enough from her own experiences with Thaos how matters relating to his work was never anything but a complicated mess of affairs. What does manage to surprise her however is how Aloth seemed to almost have expected his own efforts to be easier somehow. With Thaos gone and Waidwen’s Legacy at an end Faeluna hadn’t given the Leaden Key much thought, but she would have imagined that the organisation would have just become more reclusive in the aftermath of its leaders fall.

“I don’t think I really understood the weight of the decisions I’d have to make, nor what the burden of living with some of them would really feel like. It’s so much easier to follow someone else’s lead, be it that of my father’s or Thaos’. Or even yours.”

Finally, Aloth glances towards Faeluna. For a brief moment she feels as if she sees a flicker of the Aloth she’d known five years ago - lost and unaware of his true potential, looking to her for guidance. It makes her heart ache, understanding that Aloth had gone from always following someone to suddenly becoming a person who had to make the difficult decisions themselves.

The only difference between them was that Faeluna had always had people by her side to turn to for advice should she struggle. For so long now, Aloth had had no one. He had been alone in his crusade.

“Is there any way I can help you?” Faeluna asks. She may not have been able to be there for him since they’d parted ways, but if she could offer any help to him whilst she searched for Eothas, Faeluna would certainly try.

“I wish I knew,” Aloth replies with a shake of his head. “I always thought that the hard part of undoing Thaos’ work would be in the tracking down of Leaden Key members and operations.”

“And it isn’t?”

“No. Not at all.”

Sensing Faeluna’s growing confusion, Aloth moves to set the grimoire to one side, turning closer towards her. He settles both his hands on his sash, his fingers playing absentmindedly with the soft material.

“Perhaps this would be better explained if I were to use an example.”

Faeluna remains silent, patiently inviting Aloth to continue.

“About three years ago, I went to a village in Old Vailia. A run-down backwater of a place. I’d learnt that centuries ago, the Leaden Key had intervened to end some heretical cult there. The full details have since been lost over time, but what had managed to endure since then was a practice of ritual bloodletting. It was a … gruesome, pointless tradition they’d kept.”

Aloth grimaces, as if briefly reliving whatever it was he had found at the village he described. He continues.

“At every full moon, the villagers would feed the soil with their own blood. No one was exempt, not the young or old, sick or hale … there didn’t seem to be any boundary.”

Faeluna’s eyes grow wide, her disgust at what she’s hearing visible. “That’s barbaric. But … you managed to help them, didn’t you?”

“That’s where the story becomes complicated I’m afraid,” answers Aloth. “You see, it was the village priest who administered the practice. He was a grim old tyrant - and he reminded me far too much of Thaos for my liking. I was certain that if the villagers were able to break free of the influence he had over them, they’d find themselves free of the bloodletting. So …”

“... So …?” Faeluna echos, raising her eyebrows.

“I ... arranged for him to have an … accident.”

For a moment, Faeluna thinks Aloth looks almost proud. Her own stomach turns, her body slightly recoiling with the shock that hits her at his words.

“Aloth,” she gasps, pressing a hand against her chest as if to steady herself. “That’s the sort of dirty trick I would have expected from Thaos, not from you.”

It’s far from the honourable way Faeluna knows Aloth acts, so much so it worries her. Any of that momentary pride vanishes from Aloth’s expression in place of shame. He visibly flinches, suddenly appearing small.

“It was a necessity. I did it for the right reasons -”

“Can you, without a shadow of a doubt, tell me that there was no other way? That you’d considered every option available before acting on that instinct?”

The silence following Faeluna’s interruption is answer enough, as is the way Aloth’s hands are clenched tightly amongst his sash. His fingers have paled, the sash itself heavily creased where it’s been scrunched up. He can’t look at Faeluna, instead staring hard into his own lap.

“It’s not like my actions mattered much in the grand scheme of things,” Aloth says, his voice heavy with the weight of his words, more somber. “The priest died, and the villagers … they were terrified. They took his death to be an ill omen, blaming it - and every other mishap that befell them - on lacking in their faith. So things only began to escalate. The bloodletting became more frequent; they were weekly occurrences now. If neighbours gave too little than the villagers would turn on them, regardless of who they were or what they had once meant to one another. Instead of only a handful dying every year, the death count had risen to a few perishing each week.”

“And because of what you did to the priest,  you feel … responsible?” Faeluna asks, cautious in response to Aloth’s growing distress. “Like you were at fault?”

“Wasn’t I?” Aloth asks, finally meeting Faeluna’s gaze again. She can see the shame he feels mirrored clearly in the way his eyes have widened, the anguish so obviously present within them. “I had to do something to try and help, but what I did was wrong. It only ended up making things worse!”

“It did,” Faeluna agrees, nodding gently. “But it still doesn’t take away from the good intentions behind your actions. I may not like nor agree with your methods, but I know you, Aloth. I know your true goal was only to aid them.”

Aloth shakes his head.

“I just … I can’t help but to wonder what it was I could have done differently. That I could have done better. I - I could have taken the time to learn, to understand the delicacy of the situation more - but instead I didn’t.”

“And that’s a hard truth for anyone to learn. Aloth -” Faeluna scoots closer, watching Aloth bow his head once more. She doesn’t touch him, understanding that it’s not what he wants nor what he needs right now.

“Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Unfortunately for you and I and the things we set out to do, they’re not always the easiest mistakes to live with. But we can learn. You can learn from this. Now you do have a greater understanding, even if it’s due to a result that you were trying to stop from happening in the first place. You can remember what happened, and use it as a guideline for the future.”

“I … suppose you’re right.”

Despite his words, Faeluna still worries. Aloth’s gaze remains fixed downwards towards where his hands remain clenched, white-knuckled amongst his sash. His voice had grown quieter, and it takes a long stretch of a moment for him to shake his head and start to rise.

“I should … probably get some rest,” He begins to say, already stepping backwards towards the door. Aloth still won’t meet Faeluna’s eyes, his forehead creased almost as much as his sash now is. Faeluna already starts inching towards him.

“It’s been a long day. Very long. And … you’ve given me much that I need to think about.”

“Aloth -” Faeluna starts, reaching toward him with an outstretched hand as he turns towards the door. “Wait a moment -”

Faeluna quickly gets up from the bed, too quickly. As she takes a step forward she stumbles, tripping over her own feet as a wave of dizziness suddenly hits her. She presses a hand against her forehead, the other rushing to reach out to the closest object she can use to steady herself. Faeluna only notices Aloth is still there when suddenly his arms are wrapped around her, steadying her.

There’s a beat of a second, her head thumping wildly. She waits for her vision to return to normal - the black cloud obscuring it passing with each intake of breath she makes.

“Are you alright?” She hears Aloth ask from beside her, the words sounding panicked. Faeluna shakes her head, taking another second as her mind settles, the dizziness disappearing as fast as it had arrived.

“I’m fine.”

“What just happened is very much not the definition of fine, Faeluna.”

“It’s alright,” Faeluna says. “I just stood up too fast, that’s all.”

She turns her head, meeting Aloth’s disapproving frown. Faeluna sighs and rolls her eyes.

“I’m missing a good portion of my soul, Aloth. This sort of thing is apparently a side effect of that. It’s annoying, yes, but like I told you before I can handle it. Besides, you’ve still neglected to tell me what the animancers had to do with what you’ve already spoken about.”

“It’s a conversation we can have when you’re feeling better -”

“No, it’s a conversation we can have now, because once again, I’m fine,” Faeluna interrupts, giving Aloth a pointed look.

For a long moment Aloth stares at her, as if trying to decide whether or not to believe Faeluna’s words. Faeluna stares straight back, going as far as to raise an eyebrow. Realising there was no winning against Faeluna’s stubbornness, Aloth let his arms fall away from her, rubbing a hand against his forehead as he speaks.

“I’m looking for a Leaden Key sect. I’ve found several references which trace it to somewhere here in the Deadfire, but as for anything else …” He drops his hand back down towards his side. “I need to be sure, Faeluna. I can’t make any mistakes this time, and I won’t. Give me some time. Allow me the chance to go over my notes. Once I’m sure I’m ready I will tell you everything. I promise you.”

“This isn’t about your notes though, is it? Not really.” Faeluna pauses, trying to piece something together before - “You’re second guessing yourself.”

Aloth gives her an uneasy laugh. “You know me too well. All the same .... I need to gather my thoughts. We’ll talk more about it once I’ve done so.”

Faeluna sighs, but nods in agreement.

“Alright. If that’s what you really feel like you need. If you need anything -”

“Then I will come straight to you for your expert guidance,” Aloth sets his hands on her shoulders. He gives her a small smile, although hidden behind it Faeluna can still see he’s worried. “For now, rest. You just said yourself that you’re missing a large portion of your soul, and it’s apparent by the heavy bags under your eyes that you’re not sleeping well. We still have a few days before we reach Neketaka. I’m sure the crew will manage without you for an hour or two.”

Faeluna considers arguing, once more telling Aloth that she’s alright … yet the earnestness in his expression stops her. Instead she scowls, a little put off to learn that Aloth still seems to know her far too well too.

“You really know how to flatter a woman, Corfiser,” She replies, letting Aloth guide her back towards her bed.

“You sound just like Iselymr.”

[lairofsentinel]

Maan, Pillars of Eternity is really a good game. So far I've been playing (around 50 hours according to my last save). I found some annoying things though, and the last talk with Durance was… fabulous.

Annoying things:

Soooo muuuuch heterosexuality EVERY fucking place you look at. Characters, and their souls (you can read them) are always showing heterosexual relationship. During your quests, you even find a girl who is pregnant of her uncle… well. You know.  You can find that kind of sick relationships there, because “it's natural” or… “historical accuracy?” (putting aside this is an epic fantasy world, but we all know the historical accuracy is always a convenient excuse for this kind of shit). I mean, ok, we are in a world where the “hollowborn” happens, so it “may” have some sense if everyone is too focused in reproduction. Still yet it's not an excuse, there is not a fuckgin gay char so far I've played. Forget about bisexual ones… pft. You can make lot of characters with complex relationships such as “gays but with duties that force them to reproduce”, or some kind of shit, that will make a lot of sense because there is no healthy babies in this world. But well… ñem.

You only can find one soul of a woman, who is seducing another woman, but with the intention to scam her or steal her coin. So, no. It's not representation.

Ah, wait, you have a brothel. And you can sleep with any gender and race…. Wow, wait, I need a chair to sit down because the shock of massive representation stroke me.  

I can understand a game without romance-mechanism. I don't feel bad about it, but c'mon…. All of them are so fucking stragiht?.

Hiravias has even fucked an animal!. And he also did that with human women, when he was transformed in his animal-shift form. Like….. UGH!. We got here bestiality but homosexuality it's too “gross”.  Or like the speshul snowflake gamers in forums say: “Why everything has to be with lgbt representation?”

Maaaan, it's a fucking WIDE world, with a shit TON of characters. It's immense this world, like WoW, and still yet, not a fucking gay char? Not a single gay romance? Not a complex relationship between people outside the heteronormativization?. Ughhhh. This frustrate me a lot.

In my fuckgin daily life I know a lot of gay/bi people. They are super common, fucker. Why? WHY in a fuckgin world that doesn't have Christianity (instead it has a looot of deities) will repress diverse sexuality so much?

Even Durance – who is a fucking priest- keeps bulling Aloth about sexuality because the nerd is not a macho-predator. The fucking priest is all the time mocking him because he is not “looking for skirts” and fucking women. God, please, diversity!. The world loses a lot of realism when you only have one single sexuality in every character.

What I've loved:

Now, what I've loved a lot is the existential and super deep development of concepts of gods, faith, religion all along the game. It's not just a random sentence in a moment of darkness. No. All chars are all the time questioning what place they have in a world in relation with their gods or goddesses. It's so deep. The wonder if your God exists or not, the negation of suspecting that it may be death, the silence of the gods. My, that. The SILENCE of the gods, how terrible such a thing is for the faithful.

Even Eothas, a deity I chose without knowing more than the brief description you got in the character creation stage, is marvellous. A god that was mortal by taking a body and then “being killed” by other god, because he had to be punished. A god being punished by other!. A God that offered forgiveness to all those who regretted their mistakes and their weaknesses. But Magran, the Goddess of the Fire, who test you through tough situations, punished him because he was weak. Because he allowed others to be weak. Magran is the fire that leave stronger those who survive the flames. If you survive her trials, you will be stronger and stronger… otherwise, you will die, and your weakness will be punished by death. The antagonism in these gods is wonderful. I don't know if it's because my characters, who is a Priest of Eothas, takes all this too personally, and I have special options opened due to my class to discuss with Durance, but… everything is so complex.

These gods are fabulous. They reminds me a wonderful combination of the Daedras and the silence of the Eight from Elder Scroll's game, the Gods of the Dalish and the absence of the Maker from Dragon Age, and the concept of Gods that are not so “divine”, that use and discard their followers, like in Torment: Tides of Numenera.

How philosophical this game can turn into is something invaluable to me. And it's not only about gods and concepts beyond the mortality, it also goes for really grey areas, like the Ciphers; people who can control minds and souls, modifying their memories. If the memory is painful in a person, would you remove it from them?, is that ethical?, is that good? Or is it the first step toward looking for control over that person?. How much of rightfulness there is in a merciful act or a punishing act?

Even animancy, something I usually don't agree in most games because it's shown super oversimplified, in this game made me consider it a lot. Animancy here is like the “science”, risking people to dangers, wishing you will acquire knowledge that will improve everyone's life. Even the experimentation is shown here a lot more complex than in any other game. It's not only “look, I want to know how animancy works, so I got these homeless people and experiment on them, breaking their souls. And I'm happy in doing so.” No, it's more like “I know it's horrible. I have a complex personality that makes me a no single-minded villain, in fact, it's impossible to call me villain. I'm just working for a greater good”.

This game is a gem. If only we could find more diversity in it. And less misogyny.

[queen-scribbles]

Blowing Smoke

for @pillarspromptsweekly fill 106: Awakened Anonymous

---

Of all her duties as Lady of Caed Nua, Tavi’s least favorite, by far, was the petitioners. She liked helping people, sure, but listening to a multitude of them drone on about shit their own mayors should be handling was not helping. It was sitting in an uncomfortable chair for hours on end and trying not to let her mind wander. At least the flow was occasionally broken by someone coming with thanks--or a genuine problem that required her attention. And she had Aloth to elbow her when she failed at not letting her mind wander.

Today though.... today had been an unbroken line of petty grievances and finger-pointing. Tavi was on the verge of tearing her hair out, flinging some choice expletives at the postenagos, and walking out when it finally, finally ended.

“I have never been so glad to see a kith’s fuckin’ back in my life,” she muttered to Aloth as the last one moseyed out of the great hall. She slouched on the throne and ran both hands through her hair, letting out a groan of relief that it was done..

“Today did seem a much greater test of your patience than most,” he chuckled sympathetically, offering her his hand. ”I’m proud of you for not punching anyone, much as I’m sure you wanted to.”

“Thanks, city slicker.” She took his hand and used it to lever herself out of the throne. Her knees were stiff from sitting so long, as was her back. She stretched like a cat, rolling her shoulders to try and loosen the tight muscles. “Berath’s ass, I need to go do somethin’ fun.”

“By which you mean beat the stuffing out of some poor training dummy?” He didn’t let go of her hand as they started down the dais steps.

Tavi shrugged. “’Less Keya or somebody’s willin’ to go a few rounds with me, probably. Is Ioan here? He’s always good for a fight....”

Aloth shook his head. “You sent him to Whitewreath, remember? He hasn’t made it back yet.”

“Oh, right. Fine.” She pinched he bridge of her nose as they stepped through the doors out onto the grounds. “I need my armor. And sabres. And then I need to beat the shit outta somethin’, be it willin’ hireling or sacrificial dummy.”

However, antsy as she was to hit something, enjoy her freedom on a rather beautiful evening, the man loitering near the fountain stood out too much to be ignored. His height and build suggested he was folk, the cut of his burgundy shirt and rich brown jerkin suggested Vailian origin, but none of that seemed terribly relevant considering his corkscrewing ash-grey horns and the flickering flames that swirled around his head.

He grinned when he caught her staring, looked her over right back. “Watcher?”

Tavi crossed her arms and arched a brow. “What’s it to ya?”

He made a deep, theatrical bow that trailed embers and smoke, spark-bright eyes dancing as he met her gaze. “Elias Colgrin at your service, ac? I realize your time is precious and you are likely sick to death of kith asking for your help-”

“But you’re planning to do so, regardless?” Aloth interjected dryly. He looked distinctly unimpressed by the man’s showmanship.

“With no obligation to do more than talk, I assure you, aimico,” Elias winked. “I believe we share a past... mutual acquaintance, and merely wished a conversation.”

Tavi’s brow arched even higher. “I don’t have a lot of acquaintances,” she commented, wondering how long Elias had carried the customary mes Réi  before he shed it in favor of his own name, clever as it was. “Who do you imagine we know in common?”

There were only two options, far as she was concerned. He knew someone from Silversteel, or had had a run-in of his own with the copperfuckers who kept trying to kill her.

“Ah, Watcher, you misunderstand.” He shook his head and leveled a significant look at her. “A past mutual acquaintance.”

The pieces clicked as she stared right back.  There was a feeling, a sense, to fellow Awakened souls; maybe only something she noticed due to being a Watcher, but whatever it was hung around Elias like a newly purchased cloak. Now that was interesting... She grabbed his elbow and dragged him toward Brighthollow, Aloth scrambling to catch up with her abrupt start.

“Tavi,” he hissed, “what’re you doing?!”

Elias chuckled before she could reply. “...You know, dear Watcher, it is usually customary to ask when you wish someone’s company.”

“You fuckin’ wish,” she retorted, then turned to Aloth. “Just trust me.”

He nodded and quickened his pace to open the door for her. Tavi released Elias’ arm once they were inside and led the way up to one of the now-empty rooms her companions had used. She opted to lean against the wall rather than sit on one of the chairs left behind.

“So.” She inclined her chin toward Elias as he dropped into one chair so his chest pressed against the back. “Exactly what ‘past acquaintance’ d’you think we share?”

“Oh...” He let the word trail off coyly. “A certain enigmatic Engwithan. Tall, imposing, impressive beard.” The bright spark of one eye briefly winked closed as he grinned. “Feel free to stop me when you guess it.”

"I think I got it,” Tavi deadpanned. “For someone who acknowledges how precious my time is, Elias, you sure seem intent on fuckin’ wastin’ it with fancy talk and guessing games. If you have somethin’ to say and aren’t just blowin’ smoke, cut the bullshit and say it.”

Elias rested his chin on the back of the chair. “Fair enough. The fancy talk and bullshit is my bread and butter; it’s hard to let it go, ac?” He cocked his head as he looked at her, the flames dimming slightly. “Thaos. I knew him. As did you.”

“What makes you think I did?” she asked, eyes narrowed. She knew some details of her pursuit had become common knowledge, but others had not. MAde her wonder where he’d gotten that idea.

He smiled thinly and shook his head. “Now who’s wasting your time? I do not come to accuse or recruit or whatever you think I’m up to. But I do know that you knew him. Previously.”

“How?” Aloth frowned as he settled in the other chair.

“Kith talk,” Elias shrugged. “You hear things, ac? Especially when in a tavern at the same time as another storyteller.”

She took his meaning; there’d been a good two decades where tavern chatter was her primary method of acquiring information. Kith did talk, especially when they were drunk, excited, or both. “Alright, then, how did you know him?”

He smirked and the flames flickered. “As a shepherd knows a wolf, honey-tongued and wily, come to steal his flock. As one who heard treacherous Iovara and her dutiful sister held up to contrast the waiting fates by those who saw their story unfold. I knew him as a smugly grinning judge who won my people to his faith in a trickle turned torrent, then accused me of heresy for not bending the knee to his wishes.” His Vailian lilt, which had vanished as he shared his past life’s experience, returned, and he smirked. “Heresy that could be forgiven through conversion and repentance, of course. Submission. Otherwise, the cleansing grip of Berath awaited, and hopefully my next life would be more receptive.” Elias gave a dark chuckle. “Given the memories do not extend much further, I think he--I--chose an honest death over a lived lie.”

“Good choice,” Tavi muttered, pushing away memories of pious hymns and muddy boots and the smiling face of a sister not yet betrayed. “And an interestin’ tale, I’ll give ya that.” She shoved off the wall and gave him a measuring look.  “How long have you--”

“Been Awakened?” He shrugged gamely. “Only a few months, aimica.”

She raised a brow. “You’re handlin’ it a lot fuckin’ better than I did that early in.”

“Well, I can’t speak to your experiences, but bearing Magran’s favor has necessitated learning to roll with the punches.” His eyes sparked brighter as he grinned. “Or, at least, look like you’re rolling with the punches.”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve dealt with some fuckin’ stiff punches,” Tavi snarked. “Dealin’ with an Awakened soul is still a pretty big change. ‘Specially when they’re real different from you.”

Aloth coughed into the back of his hand and Tavi winked at him.

“All that aside, though,” she said to Elias, “what made you come to me? Thaos is dead an’ fuckin’ gone, so you’re a couple months late for revenge.”

“What good would that have done me, anyway?” Elias scoffed. “He did not seem the type to ever question if he was wrong. Besides, the past is the past.”

“Well, then,” she cracked her knuckles, “why are you here?”

“As I said, kith talk. You hear things, ac?” He spread his hands. “From the tales I hear, Thaos has been manipulating the course of history and faith itself for centuries... millennia. I thought, .between the two of us, if we compared experiences--memories--we could perhaps find some wrongs he caused, or at least set in motion, that could be made right.”

Tavi’s thoughts drifted to the speech Thaos had made, the boasting of plagues allowed, beneficent leaders replaced with tyrants. He didn’t seem to leave survivors in his wake, aside from his own followers. And sometimes they weren’t even so lucky. Sacrifices for the greater good. Finding  some of the means he’d decided were justified by ends and setting things right was an enticing thought.

“It’s.... not a bad plan,” Aloth muttered, the grudging words yanking her from her reverie.

“Wait, you agree with him?” she blurted. She’d figured it would take at least a couple rounds of persuading.

“Not entirely,” he clarified, twisting one of his rings. “I’m not sure, at this point, how much good you can actually accomplish; in most cases it’s far too late for recompense. But if the two of you compare notes, as it were, you may be able to establish an idea of his patterns and methods, making it easier to trace events he may have influenced.”

“Ac, another good point,” Elias gestured broadly and grinned at Aloth. “I had not considered that; you may also find that useful.”

“And what’re you gettin’ outta this?” Tavi probed. “Most kith I’ve met aren’t this helpful outta the goodness of their hearts, why’re you so fuckin’ eager to help?”

“Who would not wish a chance to solve mysteries or right wrong hundreds of years in the making?” His grin widened and he leaned into the chair back, making it rock on two feet. “The tales alone would be worth my weight in gold, aimica. And to have the honor and privilege of working with the legendary Watcher Tavi Illani, Roadwarden of Caed Nua, well,” the chair thunked emphatically down on all four legs once more. “That will make me highly desirable to the curious. Knowing heroes always pays well for storytellers.”

Tavi stared at him as she weighed out his free acknowledgement of using her for the name recognition to line his pockets against the potential benefits of his proposal. He held her gaze steadily, the flames flickering and twisting around his horns as he waited. It sounded interesting, more fun than most parts of being the Lady of the castle, anyway,and if there was risk to it, well, that had never scared her before. “Eh, we can give it a fuckin’ try,” she finally shrugged.

“Belfetto!” Elias chuckled. “Agracima, Watcher.”

“Just call me Tavi.” She pointed a cautionary finger at him. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said as he pushed to his feet. “Hardly seems wise to cross one with your reputation, eh?”

“Smart man,” she smirked. “There are plenty of rooms free, since most of my friends have gone their separate ways, so you can have your pick of those. We can work things out tomorrow; gives you time to settle in and I” --she headed for the door, snagging Aloth’s hand to tug him to his feet as she passed--”have a previous engagement.”

“Agreeable terms,” Elias nodded, flames dancing brightly. “I shall see you tomorrow, then.”

“Both of us,” Aloth chimed in. However agreeable he was to Elias’ proposal, he clearly remained skeptical of the man himself. Probably a good thing one of them wasn’t swept up in the lure of  righting wrongs and fucking up Thaos’ schemes.

“Ac, of course,” Elias agreed easily.

“Well, this should be interestin’,” Tavi said, linking her fingers between Aloth’s as they headed for her room so she could get her armor and sabres.

“That is one word for it,” he replied dryly.

“Oh, c’mon, city slicker.” She squeezed his hand. “Even if he is just blowin’ smoke”--he rolled his eyes and she grinned at the pun--”having another Awakened perspective on Thaos will be interestin’. It’s a damn good word and you know it.”

“I will concede the point,” Aloth said. He released her hand as they stepped into her room.

“Thought you might,” she gloated as she gathered up the lighter chain shirt she used for sparring and grabbed her sabres. He rolled his eyes again. But Tavi caught his fond smile as they headed out of Brighthollow. He knew, sketchy as it might be, she would enjoy this pursuit much more than she would warming a throne for hours on end and listening to people complain.The possibilities of it were already getting her excited, she had to admit.

Whatever came of it, this would prove very interesting, indeed.

-----------

So, yeah, new OC. :D He’s somewhere between Tekéhu and Scanlan personality-wise, and while I love him, you can imagine how well Aloth will get along with him. :P

[queen-scribbles]

Romance asks: #7, 8, 26, 29 for Keme/Jorgan, #1, 11, 20, 25 for Heodi; #9, 14, 30 for Taviloth; and #5, 7, 10, 18, 25, 31 for Ederity!

Keme/Jorgan

7. Favorite date activity?

*cough* Shooting range or gun/ammo shopping. 

8. What are their most prominent memories of each other?

Answering off where we are currently, one of Jorgan’s most prominent memories of Keme is the first time she pushed back against Garza when given a morally questionable order(killing the civvies Krel had maaybe turned into cybernetic bombs). One of Keme’s is their first kiss. She’d been wanting to do that for a looong time, and it was every bit as good as she was anticipating 

26. How important is the romance in your OC’s overall story?

Middling. They’re happy together and make an amazing, kickass team, and reuniting with Jorgan is one of Keme’s driving motivations through all the Zakuul crap(she doesn’t want an “Alliance”, she wants to FIND her DAMN HUSBAND) but they’re wholly developed and well rounded people even without the romance.

They’re basically the embodiment of that “in a fight they’re lethal, around each other they melt” quote and it’s wonderful. 

29. What are your favorite moments that happen between them?

We’re not there quite yet, but I’m super looking forward to the reunion in KotFE ch11. :D (Look, Tim Omundson did a breathtakingly FANTASTIC job with the VA work there, and that is not just my bias speaking. :P It’s so wonderful, makes me grin like an idiot just thinking about it)

Um, the convo where Jorgan says he was wrong about thinking you were too green to lead a squad like Havoc and you’ve been a solid leader. 

The “I’ve been watching your back, alright… and everything else.” convo. The marriage proposal. When Zane gets rude and Jorgan’s quick to make clear he needs to respect you. Oh, and when he gives you the necklace(is that still in the game? I honestly to God can’t remember and I know they cut some convos... it happened for Keme either way).

There are a lot, I could keep going :D

Heodi

1. What drew your character to their LI and vice versa?

Adi thinks Heodan’s sweet and he’s clearly a hard worker, Heodan absolutely loves Adi’s curiosity and how kind she is.

11. Do they have any inside jokes?

Not really. Much as I personally love inside jokes, most of my ships don’t wind up with any

20. Did either person change at all, to be with their partner?

Nah. Kinda the opposite; Heodan’s always the first one to encourage Adi to stay curious whenever she talking about reining it in so people don’t get hurt. Sure, she needs to be risk-conscious, but the solution is not to stifle parts of herself.

25. Share any headcanons about their relationship.

Heodan is the only one other than Adi who can make her tea absolutely right every single time. Kana and Aloth get pretty close, Xoti’s even closer, but Heodan’s the only one who nails it every single time (she jokes that’s part of why she fell in love with him)

There was one time Adi got a teeny bit of a concussion in a fight and wasn’t supposed to read for a couple days as part of recovering, which was ofc torture for her, so she stressed-baked cinnamon blueberry muffins(she has the recipe memorized). Heodan ate, like, half of them bc they were just so good. Adi teased him for a good bit, but she’ll occasionally make a batch that’s just for the two of them now that she knows he likes them so much.

Heodan always keeps a part of the craft hall counter clear bc that’s where Adi sits whenever she comes out to visit him.

As with pretty much every folk/orlan ship, there’s lots of her-standing-on-chairs/counters/a few steps up for kisses

She loves to play with his hair. It’s just shaggy, not super long, so there’s not really anything she can do with it, but there’s just something about running her fingers through it both of them find really soothing.

Most other ones I think are in one of the two Star Rewritten posts I’ve made, though I’m sure there’s something I’m forgetting....

Taviloth

9. How open are they with their feelings?

(after the initial ‘bury my feelings bc there’s no way they’re mutual’ period) Tavi is extremely open, all the time. Aloth is… usually willing to talk if she asks, but sometimes she does have to dig a little. He’s still more open with her than anyone else.

14. Is there anything they associate with each other?

Tavi associates with Aloth–Books, the color blue, tea, the crackly smell of burning ozone.

Aloth associates with Tavi–Swearing, loud laughter, carved wooden figurines, beaten-to-splinters training dummies

30. How does their love change as they get older?

They reach a point where they almost never say the words “I love you” bc it’s been 100+ years, they know. It shifts a lot more to the quality time/physical touch end of the love language spectrum, where they’ll brush hands as they walk past each other, or bump shoulders stuff like that.

Ederity

5. How do they comfort each other when they are sad?

Hugs, cuddling, Edér will crack bad jokes on purpose to make her smile, Charity will plunk Sparrow in his lap bc petting things helps.

7. Favorite date activity?

Snuggling on the couch and talking about their day and whatever else comes to mind.

10. Do they have pet names for each other?

Edér’s pretty much the only one who calls her Char, but other than that it’s just typical couple stuff, I think. (Darling, love, sweetheart etc)

18. Is there any way they disappoint each other?

Not so much “disappoint”, but Edér can be a bit of a ‘leave clothes where I take them off’ slob, which bugs Charity before it bugs him, so that gets on her nerves. And she tends to keep her mouth shut if she disagrees with something  “inconsequential” (i.e. she wants to have something different for dinner, or was looking forward to doing something that’s not happening anymore. Things she sees as not important, whether bc they really are little things or bc there’s nothing that can be done about them, so there’s no point complaining), so Edér has to really really dig to figure out what’s bothering her and she tries to brush it off and he insists and they maybe get a little snippy with each other for a while.

25. Share any headcanons about their relationship.

Charity wears Edér’s shirts a lot when she’s just doing things around the house. Sometimes with pants, sometimes not.

Both are secretly convinced Sparrow likes the other one better.

Charity consistently winds up moving in her sleep so she cuts of the circulation in Edér’s arm. He doesn’t mind; he sleeps like a (snoring)log, so it just means his arm’s asleep when he wakes up, and she’s just so cute.

She’s pretty nmw, but his absolute favorite is when she wears her hair in a messy bun. Charity is amused by this, bc it’s literally her “hair out of my eyes to do house/yardwork” hairstyle that takes no thought whatsoever to do and is never the same twice.

31. Share anything you would like about the couple!

She likes the way his bead tickles when they kiss.

Aside from their wedding, they’ve never seen each other dressed up.

I think they’d be fantastic parents.

The mental image of them sharing giggly-sleepy morning kisses makes my chest ache from the sweetness. Think Jim/Pam or Ben/Leslie on mf steroids.

Writing their stuff is always self-indulgent af and I don’t care. (I’d call it a guilty pleasure ship, but I feel no guilt whatsoever :D)

Romance Asks

[queen-scribbles]

From the Depths

For @pillarspromptsweekly 99  Rebuild. I’m using Adi for this, since I already touched on Tavi in other fics and haven’t decided for Emiri yet, but this is all theoretical bc my lil fluffy nerd hasn’t even met Queen Onekaza yet in actuality. :D

                                                       ---

Adela would never be used to the disorienting rush that accompanied her return from talking to the gods. It didn’t matter what she learned or where she woke, there was always this vaguely nauseated edge to her senses for the next couple hours. But as the pieces of Eothas’ plan came together, as well as the history that drove his actions, the nausea started hanging around longer, accompanied by a faint and growing sense of dread.

When she stood on a spire of adra and watched both the Wheel and the reborn god’s form crumble, the nausea and dread showed up in force and she almost wished for a conference of the gods. Much as they bickered and plucked her nerves, like younger siblings spoiling for a fight, they may have at least had some more advice. Because nothing she’d come up with had deterred Eothas from his plan. The best she’d been able to do was soften the blow, so to speak. She hoped.  ‘Take pity,’ she’d begged, and the god of light and redemption had seemed to pause, just for a second. Time would tell if she’d only been imagining things, or if not, what he’d done in that second. For now, it was a decent walk back to the Ilhana, and she was emotionally drained from the last few hours. They all were(though none more than Xoti and Edér, she was sure).

None of them spoke as they wound their way through the desolate remnants of Ukaizo toward the harbor. There was too much to process. The Wheel was gone. The course of nature as they knew it was altered, a god had died in the process(for the second time), and the implications of everything they’d learned sparked too many questions to count.

Adela was disproportionately relieved when they rounded the final curve to Ukaizo’s harbor and she saw her ship bobbing at anchor. It felt--almost jarringly--like home. It was, at least, something familiar after everything that happened, and that alone made the thought of a boat more welcome than it would usually be. A sharp whistle echoed from the deck as soon as they came into view, and by the time they’d skirted the Guardian’s lifeless form, nearly everyone she’d left behind had congregated in the stone plaza.

“How do I tell them?” Adela muttered, scrubbing her eyes with one hand as she scanned the expectant faces. They’d followed her all the way here, through the most harrowing seas known to kith or beast, with the singular goal of stopping Eothas. And they hadn’t.

Edér squeezed her shoulder.”If I knew that, I’d offer t’ do it for ya, Adi.”

“It is a rather fantastical account,” Aloth agreed, rubbing the back of his neck.  “But so are many of the things you’ve encountered and overcome.”

“What makes this one borderline outlandish is that we didn’t,” Konstanten chipped in wryly. “Overcome, I mean.”

“Might as well tell ‘em,” Adela sighed. “Sooner that’s out of the way, sooner we can leave, and kith as a whole can start trying to figure out a way to fix this.”

“Can we?” Xoti asked skeptically.

“Well, I mean, there was some method in place before the Engwithans created the Wheel,” Adela said. “Not to imply we can just revert to that, whatever it was, only that it’s possible to do some other way. Or we could try to recreate the Wheel...” She shook her head. “Look, for now, all I want to do is tell them, and then sleep on it while we get out of here. After I get some rest, I’ll be all too happy to theorize and plan.”

“It’ll be interesting to see how different the seas are without the Mortar churnin’ away,” Konstanten commented, rubbing his beard contemplatively.

“And you’ll get to very shortly.” By now, they were close enough for Adela to address the gathered crew and there was no more time for asides.

“How did it go, casita?” Irrena asked, the first one--as always--to find her voice.

Adela wrinkled her nose. “Well, good news, we found out how to clear up Ondra’s Mortar so the journey back will be much easier.”

“And the bad news?” Beodul prompted, crossing his arms.

“We couldn’t stop Eothas,” she said, bracing herself for surprise and censure at her admission of failure. There were times she wondered if kith outside her closest friends believed she could fail. “He destroyed the Wheel. We need to sail back to Neketaka and talk to the remaining faction leaders about how we want to proceed.”

There was surprise--shock, even--in some of the faces turned toward her, but none looked disappointed. Apparently it was understandable if even someone with her storied record couldn’t take down a god. That was something of a relief.

“The Wheel is gone?” Kuldrun spoke up. He had paled noticeably when Adela looked his way.

She grimaced. “Yes, but Eora has vast resources of both intellect and materials, and some time before we start to see the effects of this, so I’m sure we can find a way to rebuild or replace it.” She ran her fingers through the wisps of hair that had escaped her bandanna, brushing them back from her eyes. “For now, let’s just worry about getting back to Neketaka, alright?”

Some of the crew seemed to share Kuldrun’s worry, but they all nodded, and the small knot of kith started almost as one back up the Ilhana’s ramp. Adela and her companions followed behind the crew. Even with the Mortar calmed, it would be three or four days’ sail back to Neketaka. The sooner they could start, the better for all concerned. Which was literally everyone.

Adela cast a half-longing look back over her shoulder as she trudged up the ramp. Under other--better--circumstances, she would love to wander what remained of Ukaizo. Just explore the streets, see what she could learn. But there wasn’t time now. Maybe she could come back, now that kith were able to control Ondra’s Mortar. Shame Kana couldn’t come with her; he’d love to see this.

Dwelling on the Mortar brought another train of thought to mind, and she tapped Beodul on the arm. “Where Daelia? I didn’t see her with the rest of the crew.”

“Where do you think?” the dwarf snorted.

Well, that answered her next couple questions, too. “Thank you.” Rest first, then she could check in with the crew who hadn’t been in the harbor. She headed for her cabin.

Aloth followed. “Adela.”

“Yes, Aloth?” She plunked her grimoire on the desk and sat in the chair to start unlacing her boots.

“Do you really think that was wise?” He shut the door and leaned back against it. “Telling them everything?”

“First off, it wasn’t everything,” she retorted. The first boot came loose and thunked hollowly against the floor. “Nothing about the how, when, or why of the Wheel’s creation, or the history of what the Huana and Engwithans did. But they knew what we came here to do-” the second boot  dropped “-I feel like they deserve to know how things stand.”

“And you aren’t worried a panic will start the first time we make port?” Aloth pointed out. “People hearing second- or third-hand that the Wheel is gone, destroyed by Eothas for that matter, are not going to ask if there’s potential for a solution. They’re simply going to worry.”

“So let me get this straight....” Adela sent him a strongly dubious look. “I should have kept it a secret because it’s too dangerous for common kith to know and they wouldn’t react well to the truth? B’cause you know who that sounds like, right?” She tugged off her bandanna and dropped it on top of her grimoire. “You sort of helped me kill him, if memory serves, and have spent five blazing years trying to single-handedly dismantle his following.”

Aloth’s face colored and his ears twitched irritably. “I’m not saying they should never know, Adela. I’m saying it would be better learned from their leaders, with all relevant information presented together, then heard in bits and pieces as a dockside rumor that’s been through Usher knows how many people first.”

“I see your point,” Adela allowed. “But you know I’ve always believed honesty is the best policy.”

“I hope you’re right,” he said softly, tucking his hair behind one ear and then fidgeting with the pages of his own grimoire. “In this case more than most.”

“Me, too,” she said with a wry snort. “But I can’t help thinking the solution to this mess may be thought up by a Huana fisherman, or a Dyrwoodan merchant, or some other ‘commoner’ who would be considered an unlikely source, so the faster kith hear about it, the faster we may get at least pieces of a solution.” She pulled her braid over her shoulder and started curling the end of it around her thumb. “Knowledge is meant to be shared, right?”

“Yes, but not willy-nilly,” Aloth countered. “Or you get mass panic under some circumstances, or mob justice, or kith dabbling in power they con’t control...”

“I get it, I get it,” Adela sighed. She maybe didn’t completely agree, but she saw where he was coming from, and it was a valid argument. “Still not sorry I was honest with my crew. And if it makes you feel any better, we’re not stopping anywhere before Neketaka unless we have to. So any rumors or panic won’t have long to spread before the truth can counter it.”

“It still feels like a bit much of a risk for me,” Aloth said with a shrug. “But I trust you, so if this is how you want to handle the situation, I will support you, as always.”

“Thank you.” She slid out of the chair and crossed the room to squeeze his hand with a grateful smile. “It means a lot that you back me, even when we disagree.”

He smiled in return. “Someone may have once pointed out that’s something friends do.”

She giggled and sent him a mischievous look. “Someone sounds smart.”

“She is.” He squeezed her hand back. “I believe at the moment she’s also tired, so I’ll take my leave and let her get some rest.”

“You’re not wrong, and she appreciates it.” As if on cue, Adela yawned. “See you in... nine or ten hours, I guess?”

“From the quality of those dark circles, I’d say that’s an optimistic estimate,” Aloth smiled. “But you know where to find me.”

She nodded and watched him go. She really was tired; enough she could probably fall asleep without much trouble, even though they were at sea.

                                                      ---

Conservative as her estimate had been, Adela didn’t even get the anticipated nine or ten hours’ sleep. Instead, she was all but rolled out of her bunk to land in a heap on the floor when the Ilhana banked hard to port. She blinked and shook her head in an attempt to wake herself up, but still had barely made it to her feet when someone pounded on her door.

“Yeah?” she hollered, scrambling for her boots. Her hair fell in her eyes, but she just impatiently raked it back.

The door banged open and Xoti all but tumbled into the room. “Beodul said t’ come getcha, Adi. There’s... somethin’ out there you need to see.”

“What?” Adela shoved her feet in her boots and nodded back toward the door.

“Just... you’ll see.” Xoti darted back to the ladder abovedecks.

Now fully awake from pure curiosity, if nothing else, Adela followed her friend. She hadn’t even fully emerged on deck when she did, indeed, see what Xoti had been talking about. “Whoa.”

“Toldja.” Xoti shot her an expectant look as Beodul broke off his conversation with Kuldrun and headed their way.

“Beodul,” Adela nodded around a yawn so big it made her jaw click.

“Watcher. Sorry to cut your rest so short, but whaddya think of this?” He gestured at the island off the starboard rail, surmounted by algae-slicked, still dripping ruins that absolutely had not been there on their way to Ukaizo.

Adela blinked and stared at the architecture. If it wasn’t for the fact someone else was pointing them out, she might’ve wondered if she was still dreaming. From this distance she couldn’t make out many details, but they were clearly ancient. How ancient would require a closer look.

“I think I want go explore a bit,” she finally said. There was something about the nearest spire.... “Who wants to come along?”

Konstanten, Xoti, and Tekéhu were her only takers. In theory that was plenty; if this ruin had risen from the sea as it appeared, there shouldn’t be any living threats, just structural ones. In which case a smaller group might be better.

The fading light meant they wouldn’t have long, but she didn’t really need more than an hour for now. Just enough to get a better look, satisfy her curiosity, maybe figure out what this place was.

As the smaller longboat made its way through the waves, guided smoothly by Tekéhu’s watershaping, Adela couldn’t tear her gaze away from the arches and spires. Even as dimly colored shadows, there was something familiar about them. It didn’t hit her until they’d beached the longboat and started trekking toward the closest section of ruins.

Engwithan. There were distinctly Engwithan elements to the design, the patterns of the stonework. Even as this revelation hit her, Tekéhu let out a grunt of surprise.

“Ekera, it seems this place was built by my people,” he murmured, pointing to a cluster of buildings off to the side. They were just as clearly Huana as the ones Adela had seen were Engwithan.

“They’re mixed,” she muttered, a thousand theories spinning through her mind. “More evidence of working together...” Evidence that had been hidden at the bottom of the ocean until a couple hours ago at most. A long-past conversation surfaced in her memory, so clear she could feel the icy wind that had been its backdrop, and the implications made her clap both hands over her mouth, ears dipping low as she squeaked in delight. “I don’t believe it...”

“Believe what?” Xoti asked, ready to be excited for her but unsure why.

“This is... this is a place Ondra wanted forgotten,” Adela said, voice trembling with mingled awe and excitement. Galawain’s hide, she wished Aloth or Edér had been awake to come along. Or, Hel, that somehow Kana could be here. Someone who would understand exactly what this meant to her. “She sank them, so they would fade from kith’s memory. And they’re back.” She almost reverently placed one hand against a nearby pillar and wiped off the coating of slime to reveal Engwithan runes. It took a moment to recall their meaning; some things were still jumbled from all her soul had been through, but- “Path of Souls...” 

She wiped off more muck, but the rest was all patterns and decoration. Still, it was enough. This had been something important to the Engwithan study of souls. Which would make it very helpful to explore and study in their current circumstances.

“Watcher....” Tekéhu paused, biting his lip in thought or concern. “Why did it surface now, do you think?”

She remembered the pause, Eothas hesitating for a bare moment before battering the Wheel to pieces. “As a head start. I’ll bet my favorite grimoire there’s more places like this that suddenly resurfaced after centuries. And I’ll bet most--if not all--of them have information and secrets that can help us deal with the Wheel’s destruction!” She looked around, practically bouncing in excitement  “Even if it can’t, it’s bound to be fascinating to study.” She tugged on her necklace. “What do you think are the chances of dropping anchor nearby for the night so we can come back tomorrow with more light?”

“I think even if Kuldrun wasn’t superstitious enough to make him wantin’ to linger a long shot, we’ve got somewhere important to be,” Konstanten reminded her. “I know you love this stuff, Watcher, but we can mark it an’ come back. You already have a plan.”

And he had a point. She did need to talk to all the people of authority so they knew what was going on and could start working on a solution. She just had a feeling there sorts of places were going to be a big part of any solution they found. Between that and her insatiable curiosity, the reluctant nod she gave pained Adela more than she let on.

“You’re right,” she sighed. “Well look around a little bit more before all the light’s gone, and then mark this place on the map when we leave.” She glanced up at Tekéhu and smirked. “I guess you’ll want to come with me when I come back?”

He grinned. “I do have to admit a certain curiosity. I would be happy to return with you.”

“Great! Right now, thought, we’re wasting time.” Adela bounced on her toes a couple more times before scampering further in to the ruins. At this point, they had less than an hour of light left, and she wanted to use every bit of it she could. As help from the gods went, she liked this much better than random conferences that yanked her soul from her body. Ancient ruins beat bickering gods any day. Between what the ruins could teach and accepting help from those who offered, she had a feeling the world would be alright.