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cluelessnamelessao3 · 3 years

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It’s Raining Somewhere Else

The One with a Pleasant Surprise

It wasn’t your alarm that woke you, but rather, your very needy and very annoying devil of a cat. He didn’t just wake you by pawing at you, no, but by attempting to suffocate you. You pushed him off, which he objected to rather loudly, and sat up in bed, spitting cat hair out of your mouth.

“Asshole,” you griped.

He stretched luxuriously, blinking at you with innocent eyes.

You got up and started about your morning, tidying your room a little, brewing coffee, getting Shade his breakfast, and eventually, sitting in front of the TV with a fresh cup of coffee. Paradise. Well, as close as you were going to get to that in your dingy little apartment with noisy neighbours and a shocking lack of natural light. Still, it was home.

Time marched on and soon it was almost lunchtime when you got a text from Undyne.

Be there soon, was all she said.

You hurried to get up and make sure you were ready to go. Today you would meet Alphys and hopefully make another friend. You really did not have many since you graduated school.

It wasn’t that you weren’t social, nor that you weren’t friendly, but you had trouble putting yourself out there. If they didn’t text you, then you usually didn’t text them—simple as that. As a result, though, you had fallen out of contact with many of your school friends. You didn’t blame them, knowing with a pinch of guilt that it was most likely your own fault, but it did make you lonely at times.

That was one reason you loved working at Grillby’s. It was a good opportunity for you to get out and socialise. Plus, you had started becoming actual friends with Jen, which made working with her all the more enjoyable. Not to mention, you probably would not have met Undyne and Papyrus if you hadn’t been out to explore the area around the bar that one day.

There was a sharp knock on the door, then a split-second passed, and a much more aggressive pounding started.

“HEY! PIPSQUEAK!”

You rushed over, opening the door to a grinning Undyne. She towered over you—it always surprised you just how big the monsters all were. There were a few species that were much smaller, some human-sized, others almost child-sized, but there were many that seemed as tall as trees. Okay, maybe not that large, but it definitely felt like they were giants.

Undyne, with her usual energy, stalked past you into the apartment, her one uncovered eye roving over every detail. For a moment, she looked quizzically at the large blue coat that Sans had left but she said nothing about it.

“Ready?”

“Yep!” You responded cheerfully.

A cab waited at the curb of the building, inside was a new monster, presumably Alphys. She looked shorter, somewhat like a lizard, or a dinosaur—you couldn’t really tell, and was absolutely engrossed in a manga that looked suspiciously like a shoujo. Undyne practically pranced into the cab, getting into the vehicle with an unexpected grace despite the fact that she had to hunch over to fit. You followed, closing the car door with a soft click.

The sun was out and the sky was clear. The weather always seemed to match the way you felt—or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, you couldn’t help but appreciate the nice weather, especially when it was still early spring.

“Kit, this is Alphys—my girlfriend.”

You smiled and waved, introducing yourself formally, before adding “but most people just call me Kit.”

Alphys gave a small smile and a little wave, before saying “N-nice to meet you.”

You didn’t know Undyne had a girlfriend—she had never mentioned it before! Although, to be honest, you hadn’t had many chats with her yet, so there was certainly a lot you didn’t know.

“What are you reading?”

Suddenly, Alphys was eager, rather than timid, as she gushed about the absolute cuteness overload of the manga she was reading. The rest of the cab ride was filled with a lengthy description of the characters and their troubles. You relaxed into the seat, your brief nerves about meeting a new friend absolutely gone.

The restaurant was an unfamiliar one, still within Ebott, but not somewhere you had gone before. Undyne, helpfully, pointed out the park that you had visited not too long ago. It was nice, though you didn’t have the best sense of direction, so it did nothing to help orient yourself.

It looked like it was Italian themed, advertising some delicious looking pasta meals on the front windows. The inside was cosy, somewhat dimly lit, but inviting. Your hostess was a mild-mannered rabbit monster who led you to a table in the back where you could see Papyrus and someone else waiting.

The moment Papyrus saw you, he clambered up, bumping the table as he did. He paid no mind as he quickly ran up to scoop you into a hug.

“I AM SO GLAD YOU COULD COME! IT HAS BEEN SO LONG!”

You laughed, patting him awkwardly on the back while nodding in agreement, “thanks for inviting me.”

“OF COURSE! OH! HUMAN! I AM SO EXCITED. TODAY, YOU WILL MEET MY BROTHER!” And with that, he put you down, more gently than you expected, and turned to give the same treatment to Alphys, then to Undyne.

You smiled all the while, loving to see how genuinely happy he was to be with his friends.

The hostess had made herself scarce during the interaction and Papyrus was the one to lead you all to the table.

There, at the table, to your utmost surprise, was a very familiar face. He gave a casual wave, his lazy smile not moving an inch as you gaped at him.

“THIS IS MY LAZY BONES BROTHER, SANS.”

“she knows.”

“HE IS REALLY QUITE NICE ONCE YOU GET TO KNO—WHAT?” Papyrus looked shocked, then elated.

The group sat down, you ended up sitting beside Sans and Alphys, with Undyne and Papyrus at the other end of the round table.

“Uh, y-yeah! I have—we have met! I didn’t know you were brothers!” You said the last part with a pointed look at Sans, remembering just how vague he was when describing his brother and how intently he had looked at your phone when you got those messages.

“YES, WE ARE BROTHERS, GREAT BROTHERS, SOME OF THE GREATEST BROTHERS, IN FACT, HUMAN. WHEN SANS HEARD I WAS GOING TO GO MEET YOU, HE ASKED TO COME ALONG.”

This fact shocked you more than anything else, thus far. Sans was looking very intently at the menu, almost seeming to not hear his brother speak at all.

“Really?” was all that you could manage, surprise evident in your tone.

Undyne grinned toothily, “probably wanted to make sure you weren’t gonna be a bad influence on his little brother.”

You studied the two skeletons for a moment, taking in the differences in their frames, height, and general appearances. In your head, you smirked at the thought of Papyrus being called little in comparison to anyone, when he was a good head and shoulders taller than the already large Sans.

Outwardly you said, “Well, that’s just what good brothers do.”

The waiter came up to your table, a teenaged boy with dark hair and dark eyes, and asked if you needed anything, or if you were ready to order. You hadn’t even checked the menu yet, Alphys looked striken as she frantically scanned it herself, and you answered for the group.

“Just some waters for now, we need a couple of minutes, I think.”

“Cool,” he said and left.

“So,” you started, looking at the menu for yourself, “have you guys come here before? Any recommendations?”

“SPAGHETTI,” Papyrus supplied instantly. Undyne shrugged and Alphys shook her head.

“I-I try to get s-something different everyt-time, but I liked the ravioli.” She sounded so nervous, despite how confidently she had enlightened you to the twists and turns of her shoujo on the car ride here.

“I do like ravioli, but spaghetti also sounds good.”

Sans said nothing, he alternated between watching you and studying his own menu.

“I LIKE THE SPAGHETTI. IT IS THE ONLY DISH I GET.”

“Oh, I can’t decide,” you whined.

The waiter returned with waters, a pad of paper in his hand, “you ready?”

You nodded but asked to go last. Everyone ordered, Papyrus getting his favourite spaghetti, Undyne getting some shrimp dish, and Alphys getting something that you had never heard of before. Sans simply asked for a bottle of ketchup to be brought to the table, and then, it was your turn.

“I think I’ll get the ravioli…” you trailed off, noticing the little disappointed hunch in Papyrus’ shoulders, “actually—sorry, but I’ll also get spaghetti.”

At that, Papyrus straightened with a wide grin, “I BET YOU WILL LOVE IT, HUMAN.”

Sans, even, smiled a bit at that.

Lunch was relatively uneventful—relatively, considering it was a lunch shared with two boisterous and loud monsters, a ketchup-loving fiend, and the shiest, nerdiest little lizard you had ever met. It was so much fun, though.

You were glad you got the spaghetti, since it seemed to mean so much to Papyrus, plus it ended up being delicious. Everyone seemed to be enjoying their food, although Undyne kept looking around with a slightly sour face.

“Ugh, I hate being stared at.”

“there is a high pasta-bility that they’re looking at me,” Sans said, raising his ketchup bottle in a mock cheer.

Papyrus groaned, “PLEASE, SANS, YOU WILL MAKE ME LOSE MY APPETITE.”

“Bone appétit,” you added with a grin.

“NO. NOT YOU TOO.” Papyrus looked positively betrayed.

Undyne barked out a laugh, and Alphys looked between you and Sans with a gleam in her eye.

Sans chuckled, “you know you love it, don’t be so saucy, paps.”

“NO!” He protested.

“Doughn’t lose your head,” you grinned.

“STOP!”

The two of you continued to pun for a little longer and eventually, even Papyrus was smiling, despite himself. Undyne even tried to add into the fun, while Alphys watched in amusement at the group’s antics.

“H-how did you meet Sans, K-Kit?” Alphys asked as you were all finishing your meals.

“Oh, uh, I work at Grillby’s! He’s kind of a regular.”

“yep,” Sans supplied helpfully.

“Yeah, I’ve met a lot of good people while working there,” you continued with a bright smile.

Sans took a sip of his ketchup.

Alphys nodded, “t-that’s cool.” She looked as though she had something else to say, but instead turned to Undyne and whispered in her ear.

Undyne snickered, glancing at you, “hey, Kit, are you free tomorrow?”

“Uhm, yeah, I think so, why?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to have a girl’s day.”

Papyrus looked scandalised, “WHAT!? I WANT TO COME.”

The fish-monster rolled her eyes good naturedly, “Paps, I said a girl’s day.”

“I CAN BE ONE OF THE GIRLS,” he retorted, “WE COULD DO FACE MASKS. THEY DO WONDERS FOR MY COMPLEXION.” As he said this, he struck a dramatic pose, and Undyne whistled her encouragement.

Alphys nudged her and Undyne coughed, “Er, yeah, I know. How about we plan another day to do some facemasks and watch movies?”

“THAT WOULD BE MOST APPRECIATED.”

“So,” she continued as though she had not been interrupted, “you down?”

“To what?”

“Girl’s day.”

“Oh—yeah! I mean, I’m down for both of those events, I mean, unless of course I was not being invited to the second, in which case that’s embarrassing and I’m sorry for inviting myself like that—” you cut yourself off, a little flustered at being so presumptive.

“W-what?” Alphys spoke up, “O-of course you are invited t-to both g-gatherings.”

You nodded sheepishly, “t-thanks. I would love to come.”

Sans watched all of this with a quiet curiosity, then turned to Papyrus, “don’t worry, you don’t have to be bonely tomorrow, you got me.”

“UGH.”

Soon, it was time to go, but you felt so reluctant to leave the company of your friends. Still, at least you had something to look forward to tomorrow.

Papyrus paid for the meal, giving you another hug before leaving, while Sans lingered for a moment. Alphys and Undyne had already stepped outside to call another cab for the three of you.

“paps really admires you.”

You blushed, feeling pleased, “really? Well, that means a lot, he’s a really cool guy.”

At that, Sans seemed to beam, before saying fondly, “yeah, he is a really cool guy.”

“I guess it runs in your family,” you said with a small smile.

“guess so,” he paused, as though contemplating something, “i didn’t know you knew paps.”

“I didn’t know you knew Papyrus.”

“how many skeletons do you think there are?”

“Is this the setup to a joke?”

“no.”

“I don’t know—I thought there was a chance you could be related, but it felt rude to assume that.”

“well, it isn’t a wrong assumption.”

“How many skeletons are there?”

“you’ve met them all.”

That gave you some pause. You knew about the many different species of monsters from the Underground and that there were some that were rarer than others—but two? Two!? You had somehow managed to meet the only two skeleton monsters?

“Really?”

“yeah,” he shrugged.

He started to walk away, but called over his shoulder, “watch yourself, kit. if you hurt my brother, you will have a bad time.” His tone never changed, but the white pupils in his eyes shrank infinitesimally.

You swallowed thickly, feeling a mixture of dismay and something close to hurt, before responding, “I would never want to hurt someone, but especially not him.”

He nodded, continued to walk, then stopped short of the door, “you should make more of that ketchup soon.”

And he was gone. Quickly, you gathered your things from the table and followed suit, finding Undyne and Alphys waiting outside for you. Sans and Papyrus were nowhere to be seen.

#sans just be nice #it's raining somewhere else #chapter 8 it's raining somewhere else #undertale #undertale fanfiction #sans/reader #sans/female reader #undertale sans #fanfiction #ao3

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casually-inlove · 4 years

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Hello. In one of your responses, you wrote: "I also have things that I don't necessarily agree with." Can you tell us about it? I am very interested in your representation of this manhua. What do you think is written well in the story, and what is not? What would you add or remove? What is missing and what is too much in history? I would very much like to know your TianShan headcanon. I have too many "wants". I'm sorry if I was rude.

Dear anon, this was not rude at all. Indeed, you have many questions, so much as I try to be concise in my posts, this one is going to be very lengthy. Let me start with a little disclaimer. Everything below is entirely subjective. It is in no way meant to undermine anyone's enjoyment of the series, nor is it supposed to be an attack against the author. I value the comic's episodic nature and light-heartedness myself, otherwise, I would not have stuck around. It is also true that for the past half a year my interest in it waxes and wanes. Besides, I am well aware that certain groups of fans grow dissatisfied with the manhua direction. That said, I must state once again, OX has every right to write the story as they please, while the fans, no matter how displeased they may be, do not have the room to make demands of the author. So then, without further ado, some of my quibblings follow below. Beware of the wall-of-text.

1) The plot and characters get stagnant at times — these two go hand in hand. I suppose it is a prevalent gripe with 19 Days, and I am sure everyone has experienced it at least once. Some of it stems from the very way the story is told: the manhua timeline moves slowly in comparison with the readers' timeline. It works for depicting slow-burn relationships and subtle changes in the characters' outlooks. The problem is, more often than not, the latest chapters are inconsequential to either plot or character growth. They do not have the substance or the conflict to them. When OX had introduced the characters, while undoubtedly charming and loveable, they were practically walking tropes. Jian Yi, the bubbly airhead. ZZX, the stoic childhood friend. HT, Mr Popular. As time passed, OX did the clever (and the right) thing — they have subverted these stereotypes, by showing us that the characters are not who they appear to be. Thus, we learned that Jian Yi is a lonesome, affection deprived kid who on occasion dreads going back home because it's empty; his bright grin is there to hide his sadness. We also learned that HT had a dysfunctional family and had been exposed to violence since a tender age; we also learned that he used to lead an empty life devoid of close interpersonal connections and passions, etc. I am not going to write about Mo because it is obvious and self-explanatory.

That sudden change in the perspective is what made those characters fascinating. A few of these developments co-occur with the addition of the “darker” mafia/gangster subplot. Indeed, the introduction of the criminal legacy theme (which is true for Jian Yi, He Tian, and Mo to an extent) allowed to show the wounds and troubles these characters had to face. It also dangled the prospect of an intriguing plot direction — a mafia-related story that is disguised as a school-themed slice-of-life. It was the underlying gangster plot-line that hooked me up; I kept asking myself: Are they connected (the Jian family, the He family)? Were they responsible for what happened with the Mo family restaurant? Will their backgrounds converge at some point? How does Jia Yi's kidnapping fit into all this? That sort of stuff. Alas, right now that subplot seems to be put on a backburner, which is a shame because this is the plot-line that leads to future events, such as Jian Yi's disappearance. The kidnapping is still going to happen and the threat looming over Jian Yi is still real, yet OX does very little to explain anything about it. Naturally, revealing everything at once is out of the question, but if it were me, I would have opted for unveiling bits and pieces now and then. To start with, it would have propelled the plot forward. Apart from that, it would have given the readers some food for thought and kept the intrigue fresh — they would have been cracking their heads to piece the puzzle. Finally, the characters' darker backgrounds provide the opportunity to give them development. For instance, how would Mo's view of He Tian change, if he learned that the latter had to face his warped father to save Mo (ch. 245 and further on)? Or how would Mo react, if he learned that He Tian lost his mother (presumably) due to his family shady dealings? Would it make him understand the other boy, relate to him on some level? Etc.

The comedy and fun, light moments are precious, but I miss those moments when the manhua challenged my impression of the characters. Right now, the plot stagnates in the sense that we know that someone is threatening Jian Yi, but we aren't being given any clues or updates on the matter, as if the whole thing wasn't important. So, in response to your question “what would I have removed”, I would say that I would probably drop quite a few school-centric chapters in favour of “criminal” subplot. Just a bit: maybe show Mr Jian's messages, or Jian Yi's mother discussing the situation with him, or He Cheng receiving some reports on the situation.

The character recent portrayal also disappoints me on occasion. They started as stereotypical manga characters, then they were given some depth, and now they are close to becoming yet another set of stereotypes. Yeah, I get that Mo is a tsundere and enamoured He Tian is an idiot in love — OX has been depicting them as such for the past year. It would be cool to take a look at other facets of their personalities now and then too. While it’s understandable that only a few weeks have passed since the beginning of the story, OX should remember that years have passed for the readers; keeping the audience engaged should be among their priorities.

I suppose I do have a bias here because as an adult I have little interest in all things school-related, and in general, I am not too fond of slice-of-life (I typically avoid reading it).19 Days attracted me because it had some universal themes, like dealing with past and legacy, finding your path, healing from the old scars, learning to handle difficult relationships within a family, and of course its low-key “mafia” subplot. It could be that OX truly doesn't have a meticulously chapter-to-chapter thought-out plot, hence why the manhua meanders at times, or it could have something to do with Mosspaca's internal agenda. Perhaps, it is the latter and the company somehow insists its artists stick with simplistic plots for the sake of keeping their target audience. Even so, there's a catch here, which was brought to the attention by @agapaic: the original reader audience has aged up already so to keep them hooked it would be wise of OX to “mature up” the comic as well. Not in the sense of 18+ content, but in the sense of introducing more mature subjects alongside the comedy and slice of life. Perhaps, they are not looking to keep the fans but to attract the new, younger ones. Who knows.

2) Drama and comedy imbalance. It is a pet peeve of mine which I consider to be one of the prominent manhua flaws: there is lots of slapstick comedy which ends up being out of place on occasion. I do realize the comic is humorous, however, there is no denying that OX introduced themes and topics that are no laughing matters. Jian Yi's and He Tian's loneliness, bullying and ostracizing, extortion racket, absentee parents, youth gangs and violence — just to name a few. There is a lot more, but you get the picture.

It is also obvious that three out of four main characters carry the remnants of childhood trauma with them, which directly affects their present selves. All the same, these topics practically fizzle out as soon as they get introduced, or get swept under the rug with comedy. Considering the humorous nature of the comic, it is given that dispersing some grimmer topics with playfulness will be used now and then. To my mind, however, OX relies on that abrupt drama-to-comedy switch too heavily, which makes the transition steep and often out of place. At times, it creates an impression that the author does not take these issues seriously. There have been numerous episodes when emotional moments were subverted and then dropped, without gaining climax and closure. For instance, the moment that sticks out to me the most is when He Tian attempted to tell Mo why he liked him. The visuals made it clear that it wasn't easy for He Tian to say out loud, yet OX never gave the intense moment the needed closure.

Mo brushed He Tian off and the latter just rolled with it, as if it never took him any courage to say those words, and then everything was swiftly engulfed by slapstick humour (the ball-slapping scene). A panel showing a glimpse of He Tian's face sinking to indicate he was somewhat let down by Mo's nonchalant response would have been appropriate — in fact, it would be natural for someone to get hurt when their confession is taken lightly. Likewise, I half-expected OX to show a bit more of He Tian's reaction towards Mo's story about his meeting with She Li. We got to see his expression darkening when he learned that She Li gave Mo the ear piercings, yet this time — mind you, when Mo suggested that She Li might have murdered someone — we never see He Tian react much. For the record, it was He Tian who asked She Li a rhetorical question about being able to take responsibility for taking a life.

Furthermore, I believe that someone romantically invested in another human being would have naturally shown more inquisitiveness upon hearing a story like that. Sure enough, some would say that Mo would not have liked talking about a traumatizing event, and that is fine as well — just show it. A single panel of He Tian being concerned and trying to inquire further and Mo refusing to talk would have been a very neat detail that could have potentially smoothed the transition into humour, while keeping our heroes in character.

3) Sometimes there is too much focus on the couples. The manhua has introduced several reoccurring supporting characters which are directly linked to our main quartet. For example, Mo had bonds before meeting our boys: his henchmen, the Buzzcut. Likewise, He Cheng was the one to raise He Tian; he shaped the boy's outlook on life. These characters all played important roles in making our boys the people they are today, and yet we know so little of their bonds. Maybe the Buzzcut is unimportant in the larger scheme of things, He Cheng, however, is not only linked to He Tian, but he also plays a part in the underlying mafia/gangster subplot. It would have made sense if he was the one to shed some light on the situation with Jian Yi and He Tian's traumatic past. I would have loved to see our boys interact with other people as well — it would have served to show the variety of relationships out there: friendships, familial bonds, mutual respect between the leader and underlings, etc.

Anyway, I am going to stop now. I could name a few more, but this text is already more than 2000 words long. I have made some posts with my nitpicking before, so if you wish you can read them here.

link & link

Once again, this is all entirely subjective and it is not meant to be perceived as me saying that the manhua is poorly written and no one should enjoy it. Writing and creating compelling plots is a tough job, especially when it comes to long pieces. It also goes without saying that the author should keep their target audience and marketing goals in mind. 19 Days appeals to a great number of people of all ages and that means that OX succeeded in creating something compelling. Their writing is indeed flawed at times, but there is no way around it. It is impossible to excel both at being a great artist and a good writer. While there may be things that each of us would want to change (when comes to characters or the plot), it is still important to remember that it is not our creation. We can only decide whether to keep reading and enjoy what we get or move along. There is no point in attacking the author or generating constant pessimism.

#19 days #long post #that...was a tiresome writing #Anonymous #q&a time

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medschoolash · 5 years

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I’m finally getting this off my chest and hopefully calling it a day.

Honestly since season 8 started, being in the Jonsa fandom has been exhausting. I’m a full time medical student with A LOT of stress on my plate. Game of Thrones and TV shows are my reprieve from a lot of that stress. It’s the end of the term and I’m so mentally exhausted it’s hard to even study. So imagine how exhausting it must be to have to be surrounded by negativity and condescension 24/7 in a space that you usually brings you joy.

I feel like a lot of people here are just like the pro-Dany people they love to talk shit about. You’ve convinced yourselves that your ideas and beliefs are without a doubt right and anything that deviates from that is either not truly happening or is just so so wrong and clearly no one knows what they’re doing. You arrogantly sit on here and pretend you know far better than everyone else because you read a book and are convinced you know what’s in GRRM’s mind. You shit on anything that doesn’t confirm your theories or ideas.

You can’t handle anyone with any sort of dissenting ideas but you can throw nonsensical tantrums over any and everything. One second you’re saying “trust the story” and the next since its not moving the way YOU want it to for the sake of your personal wants and desires (narrative, flow, logistics, etc be damned right?) now you’re all for questioning the direction of the show and ripping characters and writing apart.

This constant negativity around the final season is too much. I get it, you desperately want Political!Jon for your personal Jonsa fantasies and headcanons about his characters. You desperately want to see Dark!Dany. You feel emboldened by the myriad of evidence that seems to support your theories but maybe it’s time to be humble and admit that YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING. No one does besides the creators and GRRM. Everything doesn’t have to go your way to be good storytelling. Every piece doesn’t have to fall into place the way YOU want it to in order to craft a good narrative.

I mean it’s so BAD that people who can write a 6 paragraph essay on a forehead kiss are really on this app swearing up and down they can see ZERO nuance and nothing compelling about episode 3 all because they didn’t get to see Dany go mad during the battle. You can dress it up to be about the 100 nit-picky and unrealistic expectations you had but it’s easy to see exactly what it’s really about. I see it, I see the way a lot of y’all have let bitterness and arrogance totally taint your perceptions of this show. There are blogs that I thought were so smart and rational who have been so all over the place these last few weeks I’m really questioning how I ever thought they made sense to begin with.

The worst part is the constant screaming about D&D and the constant chest bumping you all give each other for reading a set of books and believing that your interpretation is the only correct one even tho you are just in the dark about the ending as everyone else. It’s tiresome to see every single nit picky gripe you have with the show reduced to “DnD sucks” because you’re so full of yourself you think that you’re the only ones capable of interpreting literature and are so bitter you really think that what you get is shitty writing on par with the CW. Are they perfect? Hell no. But a lot of you continuously deride a group of people who work hard for having the audacity to not be able to translate every single word of text that you read in a book on screen the exact way you want it to be translated. A lot of times it’s not really about quality, it’s about your need to remind anyone who will listen that you read the books and that somehow makes you the superior consumer. You make it seem like your desires are somehow more valid and your complaints are automatically more rational because you read the books and the rest of us poor non book readers are just brainless idiots that are easily influenced by explosions and drama because apparently that’s the only things DnD have contributed to the show for 8 seasons. You swear you know more about the bain behind asoiaf from a few interviews than the people who have actually had one on one time with this man because it’s just like I said, it’s about your own arrogance and entitlement.

I swear this isn’t about one person, so don’t take this as me “dragging” one person. it’s about the general culture around here that I’m just tired of.

When the season first started I voiced some concerns about Jon’s behavior and it felt like everybody swore up and down that I was just saying the most evil things about him even tho I offered a perfectly valid critique. People were in this fandom threatening to unfollow people and just to a whole lot of extra because at the time ya’ll were convinced that you were right and now. now I see those same people engaging in the pettiest arguments because one episode wasn’t their dark!dany wet dream. It was easy to ostracize and condescend other people when you thought you were right but now all your indignation is perfectly justified when before you thought it was nonsense. Can you see how hypocritical that is? How exhausting that might be for people like me who enjoy theories and speculation but ultimately just want to enjoy a show that’s been close to my heart for years now?

The culture around here is no longer about general curiosity, speculating, putting pieces together, and exploring nuance. Now it’s about having all your ideas confirmed at all cost and proving to the masses that you’re right and everyone else is wrong and anything that doesn’t go along with that is ostracized and shit on and I guess this long ass post is my way of saying that I’m tired and I no longer wish to be a part of something with that kinda culture.

From now on I guess i’ll just stay in my little personal GOT bubble. I’m still down for speculating and discussing things with anyone whose interested or feels like me. My askbox is always open as well. I really do hope everyone can manage to find some enjoyment around here again.

#jonsa #about me #fandom commentary #fandom nonsense

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pass-the-bechdel · 6 years

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Nikita full series review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

95.89% (seventy of seventy-three).

What is the average percentage of female characters with names and lines for the full series?

38.17%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Thirty-seven.

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 50% female?

Twelve.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

ZERO.

Positive Content Status:

Strong, and refreshingly comfortable with itself (average of 3.07).

Which season had the best representation statistics overall?

Season three clocks in highest in every category but the content rating, for which season one scored highest.

Which season had the worst representation statistics overall?

Season four clocks in the lowest in every category other than the percentage of female characters, for which season one scored the lowest.

Overall Series Quality:

A real treat - significantly better than I expected on both the representation front and for entertainment, it’s high-octane excitement riddled with well-rounded and powerful female characters, and Maggie Q is an absolute jewel in the crown. The show has many virtues, but it’s worth it just for Nikita herself. Reviewing this show has been an absolute pleasure.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Ok, straight up: I kinda adored this show and I am super-glad that so many o’ y’all came forward to recommend it to me. I believe I’ve made it pretty clear already that I love Maggie Q’s performance, as I love her character, and I’m not sure I’ve got much to add on that front so I’ll just reiterate how refreshing it was to be presented such a rounded and complete female character, flawed but never narratively punished or lessened for it, emotional without it being equated to weakness, strong without being masculinised, feminine without it being treated like A Statement. Nikita just is, and as wildly unlikely as it is that you’d ever encounter someone like her in reality, the ease with which her rounded character is presented gives her a sense of harsh realism. You can’t get that without a creative team that is both talented, and open-minded enough to believe in what they are creating, and that confidence in crafting Nikita without feeling the need to apologise or explain is what makes the entire show function a cut above many of its fellows in the spy-action genre.

Nikita is; Alex, on the other hand? That’s a little more complicated. Let me head this off by saying I do enjoy her as a character and there’s a lot they did with the details of her story that I really appreciate (her arc from victim of human trafficking to powerful and successful public advocate against human trafficking is a wonderful thing). The trouble I had with Alex was that I never felt like the show really settled on how it wanted to handle her. In season one her role was at its clearest, though it was plain that the mole-inside-Division schtick was not gonna last; the limitations it set on the kind of stories the show could tell were abundant and almost immediately strained as the season in its infancy struggled to keep Nikita and Alex actively involved in the same issues without blowing Alex’s cover. Just getting Alex out in the field wasn’t enough; thus, season two saw Division and Alex in uneasy alliance for mutual benefits. The bad news? As interesting as it was to have Nikita and Alex on the outs with one another for a while, the immediate consequence was that Michael became Nikita’s primary partner, and he maintained that role for the rest of the series. Alex, initially introduced as Nikita’s second in both work terms and in character standing within the series, was heavily B-plotted and otherwise sidelined through season two onwards, and in a way that sat very awkwardly with her centralised position in the first season. It was like the show wanted to ditch her in order to tell the Nikita-and-Michael story, but recognised how intensely anathema that would be to Nikita’s personal narrative and so begrudgingly kept Alex on. Even once Nikita and Alex were in the same place and explicitly working for the same purpose again, they were frequently distanced from one another and did an excessive amount of their Bechdel-passing over the phone, when they did it with one another at all. The fact that the original twosome of the show was frequently kept apart even when there was no nifty narrative excuse for it made the decision especially egregious.

This also segues into my other primary gripe with the series: romances. As I have freely admitted, Nikita and Michael’s relationship surprised me by proving far more believable and compelling in practice than it appeared in theory as the show began; that it was allowed to impact the plot without overwhelming or derailing it was a large part of what made this a functional relationship within the narrative, instead of just unnecessary romantic trimmings that occasionally cause cliche drama. The rest of the show’s romantic entanglements fared less well. Nikita’s initial motivator in the form of her fridged boyfriend, Daniel, was a generic nonentity of a story thread which the show seemed embarrassed to recollect later on, and as nice as it is to subvert the Fridged Girlfriend trope, I’d have preferred that they avoid the invocation altogether by being more original and working in something more character-relevant for Nikita. The thing about Daniel as a concept - leaving aside the narrative implications of Fridging - is that his limited existence was just a form of lazy shorthand: Nikita was given a romance, specifically a romance, because for all its progressive elements and positive qualities, this show still suffers heavily from compulsive (hetero)sexuality. And because she’s the ‘other’ girl in the story while Nikita is busy having a Destined One True Love story with Michael, Alex is the one who really gets the compulsive sexuality laid on thick. In the first half of the first season, the show toys with the idea of a romantic link between Alex and Thom. As soon as they kill off Thom and Alex is allowed out in the field, we have the odious Nathan. After ditching Nathan, they immediately introduce Sean. And before Sean is even killed, they start planting the seeds for an Alex/Owen relationship to close out the series. Alex hardly gets to take a breath in between love interests being foisted upon her, because whatever else they’re getting right, The Powers That Be still can’t handle the idea of a beautiful young female character who is not currently embroiled in romantic intrigue. Considering Alex’s story, this is especially irksome. If anyone on this show needed to be given significant space to grow without simultaneously juggling a romance, it was her.

While I’m segueing - Owen. I had a rocky road with that dude, and it started with my concern that he was being intro’d as a romantic prospect for Nikita. To be honest? I maintain that. My read on the subject is that they brought Owen in initially as a potential alternative, in case they decided that the Nikita/Michael plan was a bad idea. I really was consistently surprised when Owen didn’t get killed off at various points - not least after his Sam reveal - and I felt like the show was as unsure of what it wanted to do with him as it was with Alex, only it manifested in a very different way for Owen since he was only recurring. Every time it appeared that they had found a narrative purpose for him that should keep him around as a regular, he seemed to go ahead and disappear for a while again anyway; it seemed the writers just couldn’t make up their minds. All things considered, I can’t help but wonder if the only reason Owen/Sam’s frankly bizarre story maze didn’t end with his death was because they wanted all of the lead characters to finish the show with a partner, because, oh yeah, compulsive sexuality. Nikita gets Michael, Alex gets Owen - even Birkhoff gets a girl, though they crassly failed to even include Sonya in the finale episode. It’s not that I don’t want characters to have happy endings, but come on. ‘And then everyone hooked up with everyone, the end’ is only fun and interesting if you’re talking about literal polyamory; when it’s just convenient hetero pair-offs, it’s a snooze. When it feels like certain characters only remained in the plot so that they could participate in the pair-off, it’s worse.

The good news about the above griping is that these complaints, while broad and in most cases series-long, are fairly thin on the ground, easily ignored, and potentially all just a matter of personal interpretation anyway. As such, they are just that - complaints, not glaring faults, and certainly not devastating issues that ruin the enjoyment of what remains a very solid and fulfilling experience with a lot of powerful and dynamic female characters getting the narrative complexity they deserve and are so often denied, within a kickass action framework that respects them instead of exploiting them while simultaneously allowing the struggles, fears, and pains of their past to have presence within their present. When Nikita is good, it is very, very good, and when it is bad it is...mildly annoying. Let the fact that I spent this series review mostly whining not imply that the show was not riotously on-point at near every moment for three great seasons (excluding season four, which wasn’t awful but honestly I think the show was better off without it); if ‘mildly annoying’ is the worst you’ve got, you’re on a damn good track. All in all, the singular part of the show which was clearest and most coherent was easily its titular character, and if we all took nothing more away from the show besides the knowledge that Nikita herself is fucking awesome, it would still be time well spent.

#Nikita #Nikitatv #Bechdel Test #full series review #female representation

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asuccessfulbusinessman · 6 years

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Dark Souls III Area Enjoyment Scale

You know how both Dark Souls 1+2 peaked after reaching Anor Londo and Drangleic Castle respectively? Well, I’m starting to get that feeling again, so as I reach the endgame to 3 (well, it might still be technically the midgame, but I digress,) I wanted to look back at my first playthrough and record my feelings about each area, before each area is hard saved in the back of my mind.

Cemetery of Ash: 4/10. Nothing can compete with DS1′s Asylum, but this is at least on par with the DS2 starter area. It gets more points in my book because it has a powerful enemy barring you from 100% completing the area your first time through, no Fragrant Branch of Yore mechanic enforcing backtracking and exploration, and an actual boss.

Ludex Gundyr: 7/10. A pretty good boss to start off with. Introduces the mystery of what the hell is that for the player to solve, and has lore with that sword in his gut. Will likely kill you your first time around, but once you learn him he’s easy enough.

Firelink Shrine: 8/10. As an area, this area is spectacular. Reinforces the “come back when you’re a bit stronger” with the sensei undead, has some mystery with the firekeeper soul and firekeeper graveyard, and if you search through the area you can find some goodies. DS1 had some chests and the path back to the Asylum, DS2 had an Estus shard and (I guess) the binoculars, DS3 has an Estus shard and the coveted silver serpent ring. I just wish it wasn’t so hard to find the goodies in 3 (though, how anyone found the path in 1 is beyond me). As a hub, I don’t like it very much. Sure, it’s useful, but the constant warping back for level ups and buying items makes it somewhat less desirable. Also, the layout of NPCs is just... gamier than DS2s. That’s saying something.

High Wall of Lothric: 6/10. A bit bland, but it gets the job done.

Vordt, Of the Boreal Valley: 5/10. Incredible and imposing the first time you meet him (makes you want to keep your distance), but fairly forgettable once you realize you have to get (and stay) close and touch the butt.

Undead Settlement: 10/10. Beautiful area, actually feels like a settlement. Has some great NPCs and exploration options. I just wish that one of the bonfires was findable for me without accidentally falling off the ledge. (Platforming is reinforced later in the area).

Greatwood: Bleh/10. I may have had phantoms but the gist of the fight is readily apparent. But it seems like this is a fight where it’s easy to die even if you know what you’re doing, judging from the Phantoms’ life expectancy.

Road of Sacrifices: 9/10. My only gripe with this area is that I missed the Braille Tome because I thought you had to jump for it (I missed the path. Whoops. Sensing a theme?) Aside from that, the tengu and crabs are cool, and the variety of enemies keeps the area feeling fresh.

Crystal Sage: 6/10. Teaches you that magic hurts, an important life lesson. I honestly like Pinwheel more, but that was because I fought Pinwheel early on in DS1 to get miracles, and when Pinwheel gets to live long enough, his clones got too much to handle. Sage’s clones... much less so.

Farron Keep: 3/10 for completionists who have to go through the swamp. 5/10 for everyone else. Annoying. Very easy to get lost.

Abyss Watchers: COOL/10. Nothing beats realising there’s a second phase after burning your estus. The only thing that comes close is realising you can get them to fight eachother.

Cathedral of the Deep: 2/10 on your first time through. AKA, “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?” I tried everything to get the grubs off me, even firebombing myself. But a friend told me, “oh just take out a torch.” Because of a message on the ground, I knew there was something fishy about the well from the get go. But even when I knew I had to get back to Patches to get armor from him, I didn’t know how exactly to get up there. While this area is technically optional, the storylines of 3 NPCs and a covenant require you to find your way to the rafters, a path that is very easily missable (at least to me) especially since you would normally have no reason to go back to where the path is. Also, the level design leaves me lost, all the elevators look alike to me, and I often take the wrong path away from the one true bonfire. And you have to learn the boring way that the dagger weapon art allows you to more easily traverse the goop.

Deacons of the Deep: 1/10. Fun.

Catacombs of Carthus: 6-7/10. Some of the enemies here can be very challenging, but the area is worth completing. Spent too long backtracking to find Horace. Didn’t find him here. Also, remember that Miyazaki made the pendant? The crab is a prank.

Smouldering Lake: 8/10. The demon (yes, he’s part of the lake) was fun to take down with a skeleton mob. I still have to kill the crabs and worm (love the hint in the yellow pills description) but got all the items in the lake. I tried to get the ballista to help me kill the worm, but to no avail. Didn’t find Horace until I “cleared” the area. Painful place. Enjoyable because of it. I wouldn’t stay too long.

Old Demon King: 6/10. The only thing I remember is seeing him unable to fight back anymore.

High Lord Wolnir: 7/10.The one boss everyone already knows about (besides Vordt). Spooky, but I just chugged and slammed bracelets.

Irithyll: 4/10. Beautiful but painful. Killed off my second best friend because I went to the dungeon before killing the area boss. (How was I supposed to know to backtrack to find his ashes?) Got lost as a phantom, because the sewers are much less conspicuous than the entrance to the dungeon (I’m sensing a theme). Aside from that, all the big enemies can kill fairly easily, damn fire witches. If I wasn’t cursed, I would complain about not knowing jack squat about the pilgrim. I still haven't gone to the area with two dogs. I’m too scared. Will talk about archer section in Anor Londo section.

Dungeon: TurnYourVolumeDown/10. Can be a slog if you’re not willing to risk melee with the wardens. Expect lots of exploration, which is nice. Too many mimics (we can read the ground, even if people don't want to tell me the hidden paths needed for completion).

Profaned Capital: 6/10. A bit too short. Thankfully, I was able to find the path to save the friend on my own. Annoying that the hint item was just rubbish.

Yhorm the Giant: Friend/10. A fight whose enjoyment entirely dependant on if you have your friend by your side. If you don’t, you have to learn on your own to rush the throne for the item to do critical damage, which I would wish on nobody. If you do, it’s a simple enough fight with a nice little piece of lore. Goodnight sweet prince...

Anor Londo: “This Place Again”/10. Even FromSoft knows how much of a high point Anor Londo was. Thankfully, even if you dislike the place, it’s short enough, and the knights are fun to fight if you don't need to do the hell grind. The castle is hauntingly beautiful when you see just what happened to the place after all these years. I just so happened to get married here! I was not expecting that. Still don’t know what my genderfluid ring does.

Aldrich, Devourer of Gods: 8/10. A challenging boss for me, but I was always ready to get back up and try again. Made me switch up my armor and tactics, very nice.

Dancer: 0/10. I hate this. I hate her roll catches. I hate her first phase grab. I hate the walk back to the boss room, where a knight will always hit me. I hate how inconsistent her movement speed is, leaving me to dodge too early at times, or assume I have the space to fire an arrow. I hate the fact that the best way to kill her is to literally tank and spank, to rotate left around her (TOWARDS her grabbing hand, because hitboxes) with a shield up, never dodging, and attacking her butt when you get a chance. In retrospect, she is cool to look at though, especially with the lore you can read about through items.

#Dark Souls #Dark Souls 3 #Stab my eyes blinded playthrough

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strangeoccurencesinmayhem · 7 years

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SnowBaz fic

Very very late entry for the Carry On countdown, oops.

Prompt: ‘date night’, (fluff, established relationship)

Simon

“Hey, Snow.” I grumble under my breath at the use of my surname, but look up from my cosy seat in front of the fire. Baz (the love of my life, the apple of mine eye - my boyfriend) leans against the doorframe of the lounge I share with Penny, as smug, arrogant and gorgeous as ever.

“You should really learn to knock, it’s considered courteous in normal society,” I gripe at him, slightly flustered at being caught unawares, but he simply smirks. The bastard. I go back to the book I was reading before he interrupted, determined not to leap up and fawn over him like some kind of doting puppy like I always have the urge to. I don't hear him cross the room, but after a few moments I feel his arms slip around my waist, and his lips pressing against the nape of my neck. I have to force down both the heat rising to my cheeks and the upturned corners of my mouth, determinedly keeping my eyes focused on the pages in front of me. “Have you forgotten..?” Baz whispers into my shoulder, and I feel his lips curl up again. “Forgotten what?” I still don’t turn - it’s probably just a trick to make me pay him attention. “It’s the first Thursday of the month.” And I groan as I remember. Of course - it’s date night. How could I forget? God I hope it’s not my turn to think of something, I’m no good at thinking on my feet. Baz chuckles as I finally turn around to face him, resigned to an evening of feigned hurt and jibes about being a terrible partner. I open my mouth to apologise, but he stops me with a swift kiss on the lips, still smiling. "No need to look so panicked, Snow, it's not your turn." He leans back, and I look at his casual jeans (still make me blush slightly) and over-tight t shirt in confusion. "But...you don't exactly look dressed for the occasion. No offence or anything." He smirks and pulls me to standing, fingertips briefly brushing against my cheek (almost accidental - almost but not quite) before he starts to walk back towards the door, throwing his answer over his shoulder like a pinch of salt: "Where we're going you don't need to dress fancy."

* * *

"Ok, just to double check, we're definitely not going to some underground vampire gang bang?" Baz shoots me a slightly dangerous glare before answering. "No, Snow, we are not. And before you ask, no I’m not going to murder you, or kidnap you, or try and turn you. Now can you please shut up and just let me drive."

* * *

By the time Baz stops the car, I’m practically vibrating in my seat with curiosity, and I leap out before even the engine cuts off. Which I soon realise was a big mistake, as my feet sink several inches further than expected, and I groan as I step out of the muddy mire I had landed in. "I swear I didn't park this car deliberately so that you'd do that," Baz says, innocently enough to assure me that he had, in fact, done just that. I stop myself from punching him by turning and examining my surroundings. Baz has parked just inside a cattle gate which opens onto a steeply sloping woodland, the trees densely packed together with only a narrow path leading forward into the darkness. My breath billows in the crisp air, and after a few seconds is joined by Baz's as he takes my slightly reluctant hand in his own warm one. I don't bother asking why we're in the middle of nowhere on a frosty November night instead of at some new restaurant like usual, certain he'll simply say something mysteriously ambiguous. Instead I tread with him up the path and into the muffled closeness of the trees, silent but for our breaths and the crackle of leaves and twigs beneath our synchronised steps. The canopy above our heads obscures almost all the light, except for the occasional chink of silver moonlight streaming onto the forest floor. When it does, I can't help but sneak a glance at the man walking beside me, drinking in how the shadows flit along the line of his cheeks and his already milky skin turns almost luminescent. I think he knows I'm looking, but he doesn't make any comment, just keeps stepping one foot in front of the other.

Baz

I'm pretty sure Simon caught me staring at him, but he doesn't seem to care. I should be more careful not to make a fool of myself, but I can't help myself; his eyes are almost completely black in the dark, except for a glint as they catch the faint light. But his normally warm hair is transformed to white gold, glowing and hanging just low enough to lightly feather his rich skin. I'm nervous for tonight; what if it doesn't work? What if it's a bit anticlimactic after all this? What if it's amazing, but Simon just thinks it's a bit lame? I try to calm my swirling thoughts, and squeeze Simon's hand a bit tighter. We walk for another few minutes before we reach the top of the wooded hill, and the densely packed trees spread, then disappear altogether to make way for a clearing. This is it, no time for a last minute change of plan now. I look at Simon just as turns his head to me, and smile slightly before pulling him forward into the open space.

Simon

The clearing, from what I can tell in the pale light, is hard packed soil with the occasional bushy shrub, and just about large enough for a spaceship to land in. I'm not sure when that became a unit of measurement, but I'll stick with it. The lack of branches sheltering the ground means that it is carpeted with white light, turned 2D and surreal by the moon, which slides up the sides of the ring of trees surrounding. Baz leads me to the centre, quieting my quizzical look with a trying-to-be-mysterious smile, before positioning me in front of him, close enough that I can just feel his warmth between us. Then he finally speaks. "This is where I come to practise my magic." He says it softly. I lower my gaze slightly, not sure what I’m supposed to do with this information. I lost my magic almost a year ago, but it still aches when I remember and feel the loss of simmering power under my skin. However I didn't know that Baz had dedicated time and space for practising his magic, but on consideration it makes sense that he wouldn't want to do it around me. He gazes at me now, and I look back into his eyes as he takes my other hand. "Relax, Snow. And keep your eyes open." Frowning slightly in confusion, I do as he says, and he squeezes my hands and starts to murmur an incantation. As he does, my vision seems to shift slightly, but I soon realise it's not my eyes, it's the clearing; as I look around, wide eyed, it starts to ripple and flutter. I start and clutch at Baz as the ground dissolves beneath my feet, focusing on his face as the world around us disappears. He smiles at my look of shock, and it is a rare, genuine burst of happiness from him, his eyes sparkling. "Baz, wha-" "Shh, Simon. Just watch." I do. I watch as the blackness becomes irregular and little spots of light twinkle into existence all around. My breath catches in my throat as we're suddenly floating in a sea of stars. Despite the awe inspiring view, I look back at Baz. He is still focused on me, his own face bathed in soft light from all directions, his dark eyes cast hazel and glowing, ethereal. The illumination brings out flecks of yellow that I never could have guessed were present. I can't help but let out a light laugh of delight, at his astounding beauty, at the stars, at the fact that we appear to be floating in space and I have no idea how. Baz tugs on my hand, and we speed through the darkness towards one of the shimmering lights hanging before us, and it grows and grows until it becomes almost half the size of earth. Its surface flickers with pale flames, warming my face. "Baz," I start cautiously - the fire looks worryingly real and we're still floating closer. But he ignores my concern and I almost panic as we settle into the heat, but soon realise that it isn't harming us. The flames ruffle across my legs, but do nothing more than gently warm my skin. Baz turns to me as we stand there, on the surface of the...planet? And bends to scoop up a handful of the unsubstantial material burning. I blink, and it is encased in a thin film of glass, an orb of white fire, which he places in my hands. "A souvenir." I can barely speak, still utterly stunned by my situation, my mind not quite caught up with what is happening to my physical being. "What is this?" I ask Baz, "What spell is this?" He smiles again. "It's one I've been working on for a while.’Love is all around us.' It takes your idea of what love is, and turns it into a sort of 4D experience, using all 5 of your senses." I nod, but I'm slightly puzzled as to why Baz's idea of love is...space. He must notice my expression, as he continues his explanation, although he looks down slightly and...is that a slight pink tinge to the vampire's cheeks I see? "Do you remember that night? At Watford." He is uncharacteristically hesitant. "After you tried to kill the dragon, and then you kept wanting to see if you could channel your power through me again." I know which night he's talking about. How could I forget that night? When we flew up and saw the stars... "Well, that night, something...changed for me. I had known I had feelings for you for a while, but it was then that I realised I loved you." He meets my gaze. "I love you, Simon Snow." My eyes definitely don't get a little moist, but then Baz grins suddenly. "Despite how utterly ridiculous you are." I punch him in the arm and laugh, glad that he didn't wait for a reply, because I don't think I could have choked one out. So I kiss him, and we stand kissing on a giant ball of flaming gas for an eternity, because living clichés is so much more enjoyable than telling them.

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #carry on countdown #snowbaz fic #carry on fanfiction #snowbaz fanfiction #fanfic #fiction

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sheilacwall · 5 years

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Album Review | Little Brother – May The Lord Watch

This album was released on August 20th this year. Honestly, this is one of the best things that’s happened in 2019. Earlier this year, Rapper Big Pooh & Phonte reunited for the first time in almost a decade for a borderline impromptu performance at the Art of Cool festival in my hometown of Durham, North Carolina. Or maybe it was late last year. I’m almost positive it was this year though. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, I was super excited when this news came out because I’m obviously a huge fan of the duo. Perhaps I’m a little biased since they’re from my hometown, but I genuinely think their music is amazing. I also feel like they’re super underrated. It annoys the s*** outta me that people act like Outkast is the only good Southern rap group. Not only do I like every Little Brother album more than almost every Outkast album, but I even like the solo work from Phonte & Pooh more than almost every Outkast album. That’s beside the point though. This album was announced less than 24 hours before it dropped, and I was shocked in the best way possible when I found out about it. I really should’ve seen it coming. There were a lot of signs hinting towards another project. I guess I just didn’t expect them to release it so soon. Real quick, I wanna give a shoutout to Holland Randolph Gallagher. He’s the producer of a web series called Hype that takes place in Durham, and he’s been working with Phonte on it. He also put together this short film documenting the Little Brother reunion.

youtube

It came out a little over a week before the album dropped. It’s a really entertaining video, and it’s cool seeing areas I used to frequent as a little kid in it. Little Brother really put Durham on the map for Hip Hop, and not a lot of other artists have been making noise in the city, so I’m not used to seeing this much attention around it. In fact, Durham has really been a very small, kind of obscure city for most of my life. If you’re not from NC you most likely haven’t even heard of it. There’s been a s*** ton of gentrification in recent years though, and it’s becoming a really popular place for white hipsters. It looks almost completely different from how it was when I was younger, and they kinda explored that in the Hype web series. Some of the dialogue in the series is a little awkward, and you’re not gonna be getting Oscar-worthy performances, but overall it’s an entertaining watch. Anyway, I saw that some people were kinda disappointed that 9th Wonder wasn’t involved in the composition of this record, and to an extent I understand why. However, he had very little involvement on the previous two records from Little Brother, so I really didn’t mind his absence at all personally. It’s not like Little Brother’s work took a severe drop in quality when 9th Wonder left. Their later albums are just as good in my opinion. Anyway, let me stop dickin’ around and tell y’all why this is one of the best albums I’ve heard all decade.

1. The Feel produced by Khrysis

The album immediately injects nostalgia directly into my veins with a callback to the U.B.N. Network from The Minstrel Show. “U Black N***** Network: Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill.” The album really feels like a love letter to North Carolina. The production from Khrysis is absolutely amazing too. This beat alone is better than any instrumental that appeared on that first Jericho Jackson album. I seriously hope the next Jericho Jackson project has production this good. I love this piano-driven beat. Really, there’s not a single aspect of this song that I don’t love. The first verse from Phonte is spectacular, and I love the hook. I really don’t know how Phonte could’ve started this project off any better. When he said “flexin’ on an old bike; I never forgot how to ride,” I literally yelled out “YES!” the first time I heard it. The uncredited female vocals sound fantastic on the hook by the way. I’m not sure who they belong to, but I know that Bobby McFerrin’s daughter, Madison McFerrin, is featured on track 5. Maybe she did all the uncredited vocals for this project. Anyway, the second verse from Big Pooh was awesome too. I love the way he ended it. When he said “another one!” I… Well… My reaction was pretty much the same as it was when I heard that Phonte line that I just quoted. This song is amazing. Get used to reading that because I’m gonna be writing those words a lot in this review. I have zero nitpicks. This s*** is dope af.

2. A Word from the President

It wouldn’t be a Little Brother album without these comical skits that have insanely high production value. I usually feel like skits are a waste of time, but that was never the case with Little Brother’s albums. They were always entertaining, and the skits on this album are no different. This skit in particular is an announcement of the death of Percy Miracles, who was a character from Little Brother’s earlier work. The president of U.B.N., Peter Rosenberg, announced that his memorial services will be broadcasted live from the Clifton Powell Center for the Performing Arts in Ahoskie, NC. The “long-awaited reunion concert from Little Brother” is supposed to have occurred at this memorial service. Even if you don’t give a s*** about what Peter Rosenberg is saying, it’s still an entertaining skit because the music in the background sounds great. It transitions into the following track really well too.

3. Everything produced by Khrysis

This song has another incredible beat. It’s honestly one of my favorite beats on the whole project. It sounds amazing. It kinda gives me the same feeling that Fear by Drake gave me, and I personally think that’s the best beat Drake has ever rapped over. The first verse from Phonte is amazing too. The way he expresses what’s on his mind just seems so effortless. I love how Pooh comes in right behind him too. They’re kinda describing the process of mending a damaged relationship. I really don’t know who this female vocalist is, but she sounds angelic on this chorus. After the first recital of the hook, the structure of the first verse is repeated, but in opposite order, so Big Pooh goes first, and then Phonte finishes it off. The chemistry these dudes have is just perfect. This is another flawless song for me. Just from these first two songs on this album, I’m already struggling to choose a favorite track. I’ve been listening to this album for days, and I still haven’t chosen a favorite song. They’re all amazing to me, and this one is obviously no exception. It’s dope af.

4. Right on Time produced by Nottz

So, these days when I listen to an album, I’ll write little notes about each track in the “comments” box in iTunes. After a few tracks I just stopped taking notes for this album because I was pretty much saying the same thing for every song, and that’s probably how this whole review is gonna seem to be honest. The production is incredible, and Pooh & ‘Te are rapping at top condition. I really love how they brought back this U.B.N. theme for this album. The first verse from Pooh is really awesome. He was rapping about how these days he’s driving for Uber, and how it’s bittersweet when people don’t recognize who he is. It’s a great verse, and Phonte’s singing on the hook is glorious. I love the way Phonte was flowing on the second verse too. This song is amazing. I have no issues with it at all. This s*** is dope af.

5. Black Magic (Make It Better) featuring Madison McFerrin produced by Focus…

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This song has yet another phenomenal instrumental. The way it starts is really similar to the intro of DNA by Danny Brown. I kinda wanna say that this song has some of the best rapping on the album, but I feel like I want to say that about every track. Every song has top tier rapping. That ASCAP line from Phonte was fire. I f****** love this hook too. This is one of the best hooks on the album in my opinion. Well, it’s hard to say since there aren’t really any hooks that I don’t love on this project. I’m sorry if this review ends up sounding redundant. I’ve noticed that when I have literally zero gripes at all, there’s not really much for me to say. I think this s*** is perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s dope af.

6. Life After Blackface

This skit is amazing. Y’all remember that white dude Joe Scudda who was featured on Lovin’ It from The Minstrel Show? He was performing in blackface to fit in with Phonte & Pooh. This skit is all about how he regained his whiteness. The way this skit ends with Phonte singing “It’s so good to be a white man again!” is hilarious. Seriously, the skits on this album are genuinely funny. Y’all don’t understand how f****** rare it is for me to actually enjoy a skit on an album this much. I literally never listen to the skits. I play this entire album without skipping them though because they’re just as enjoyable as the music itself. I love this s***.

7. Goodmorning Sunshine produced by Focus…

This song has yet another phenomenal instrumental. Every producer on this project really came through. These beats are fantastic. The first verse from Pooh is awesome too.

I was taught men ain’t really supposed to have no feelings But Lil Wayne said I shouldn’t have no ceilings I was raised on Rap music, I’ma need some healing

The way Phonte came in right behind him was fantastic too. Everything about the way they’re rapping together is just awesome. That hard drive line that Phonte had was great.

Punch up the data, man; it’s rather tough To stand strong if you ain’t man enough I’m just out here bein’ happy, baby; why they mad at us? Work ethic and a hard drive, now back it up Wait, back it up

I also love how they keep using “BLACKNESS” as an ad-lib any time one of them says something that’s typically associated with black American culture. Phonte’s singing on the hook is f****** incredible too. I love that hook so much. The very minimal record scratches that come in after each line sound great. Phonte’s verses are so well written too. Pooh rapped his a** off on that last verse as well.

I’m addicted to her She my down a** offensive-slur Inexpensive furs Louis Vuitton, that’s picture perfect

It’s a beautifully written song. I generally don’t f*** with love songs like this unless they’re really well written. They really pulled it off. Little Brother has always been good at this kind of track though. This s*** is dope af.

8. Dyana Change My Life

This is another hilarious skit. It’s basically a commercial for a fake soap-opera. It sounds like a commercial I’d hear on the radio in a Grand Theft Auto game. That’s a good thing by the way. One of my favorite aspects of the GTA games is the hilarious radio content. The voice acting is perfect too. I love this s***.

9. What I Came For produced by Khrysis

Once again, the production here is marvelous. The first verse from Big Pooh on this song is great, and this track has one of the smoothest hooks on the whole project. It sounds like sugar in the form of music. Not in a bad way though. Phonte f****** murdered that second verse too. The way he was rhyming was insane. It’s such a great dedication to NC too. That’s definitely one of the better verses on the whole project.

Man, life is marvelous Word to Paul Wall, I’m with all the shits No matter how narrow the margin is For the art of it, not the artifice Gotta stay forthright ‘Cause 2020 ain’t s*** without foresight County boy: Wake, Durham, Guilford, and Forsyth Where you can hear some Bill Withers under porch lights

Man, I really wish I could just quote the entire verse. His flow is fantastic. The Fortnite line was great, and I loved that Eddie Griffin bar too.

The fight goes on; the nights is long & regimented So I can go on a run that’s unprecedented Them bars is comedy, king; n****, you Eddie Griffin Two pools & a sip; now here’s to better livin’

Again, I have no f****** clue how I’m gonna choose a favorite song. I wish I knew who this uncredited female vocalist was. She sounds great. Overall, this is yet another amazing song that I have no gripes with. The record scratches at the end of the song were great too. This s*** is dope af.

10. Inside the Producer’s Studio

This is another fantastic skit in which ?uestlove interviews Roy Lee, who, as you may remember from his skit on The Listening, is the fictional producer played by Phonte. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that ?uestlove made an appearance on this album, but I wasn’t expecting it at all, despite his appearance in the documentary that I mentioned in the preamble. I’m not gonna say exactly what happened in this interview, but it’s very entertaining, just like all of the other skits.

11. Sittin’ Alone produced by Nottz

The way the previous track transitions into this one is very clever. Again, this production is f****** phenomenal. It sounds cheerful, yet somber at the same time. It’s one of those beats that sounds really happy, but it’s the kind of happy that you really need when you’re feeling depressed in order to lift your mood. It kinda puts me in the same mood as Family Business by Kanye West. I definitely like this song more than that one though. This first verse from Big Pooh is super relatable too.

My new normal ain’t normal at all Scrolling through my contacts, like “who can I call?” Now I’m on Instagram, “damn, they havin’ a ball.” That was me once upon a time back in my prime; now I’m happy to fall Fast asleep; sound of rain on repeat Instead of counting sheep I’m counting all the likes from the newest post Then the toast with the magnum bottles Then the picture with the IG models Wide awake, rockin’ envy goggles

He’s basically expressing the whole “fomo” idea in a verse. Not only can I relate to the verse in that aspect, but I also have literally been falling asleep to the sound of rain the past few days. I just feel like that verse is so well written. People always praise Phonte, but I don’t know why they act like Pooh isn’t a great rapper in his own right. I guess he’s seen as the Big Boi to Phonte’s Andre. I like Pooh way more than Big Boi though, especially when it comes to their solo discographies. Anyway, the sample that Nottz flipped for the hook sounds really great. The second verse from Phonte is awesome too.

My mans hit me up and said “tonight, dog, we celebratin’ My son is goin’ to college.” I said congratulations He said “nah, you don’t get it; it’s two graduations Him from high school & me from child support payments” (BLACKNESS)

Man, in terms of the content alone, this might actually be my favorite song on the whole album. I f****** love this s***. Once again, there’s an uncredited female vocalist who sounds great. F***, man. F***. This s*** is incredible. It’s dope af.

12. Picture This produced by Black Milk

This is another amazing song. The beat from Black Milk is gorgeous, and Phonte’s singing, my n****? That s*** is f****** incredible. I swear to god, I have no f****** clue how I’m gonna choose a favorite song. I don’t use this term often because I think it’s corny as hell, but I really don’t know how to describe this song without saying “eargasmic.” This s*** is amazing. The first verse from Pooh in which he recounts his pre-Little Brother history is great. Phonte killed it too. He ended his verse with what’s already become the most quoted line on the whole album.

So fresh, so independent So free, so me while you in your feelings I needed shelter and I couldn’t find the antidote So god gave me the words to let me pen a ceiling

I’m tellin’ y’all, man. These n***** don’t play. People need to start recognizing these dudes as the legends they are. They’re the best rappers from North Carolina. I know these mainstream listeners love DaBaby & J. Cole, but there are a s*** ton of NC rappers that are better rappers than them, and Little Brother are at the top of that list. Also, the skit at the end of this song made me so f****** happy. It’s a parody of Bill O’Reilly’s infamous “DO IT LIVE” meltdown that he had when he was on Inside Edition. That dude has to be one of the biggest f****** idiots in the country. How the f*** does a grown man not know what “to play us out” means, especially given the context? Dude is a f****** idiot. Anyway, if I haven’t already made it clear enough, this song is dope af.

13. N***** Hollering

As the title of this track indicates, it’s a bunch of n***** hollering and arguing about basketball in what I assume is a barbershop because where else do n***** congregate and have these types of discussions? The best line is from the dude who said that Bill Russell singlehandedly defeated the Lakers and racism at the same time. This is yet another fantastic skit. I swear, U.B.N. is such a brilliant theme for an album. I love it.

14. All in a Day produced by King Karnov

This King Karnov guy may seem unfamiliar to some of you, but he actually has placements with a lot of very esteemed artists such as Anderson .Paak & Busta Rhymes. He had placements on the previous Little Brother album, as well as Phonte’s amazing solo album from last year. According to his website, he even worked on Dr. Dre’s Detox, which we’ll never hear. Even if Detox does come out some day, it probably won’t feature the songs that King Karnov helped produce. Anyway, his beat on this track is f****** extraordinary. It’s definitely one of my favorite beats on the album. Jesus f****** Christ man. I’m really not gonna be able to choose a favorite song. The uncredited female vocalist returns for this song, and she sounds great. The way Pooh starts the first verse is so dope. He killed that s***.

Y’all can Cirque du Soleil all day Word to Yahweh, I’m good on whatever y’all say So whenever y’all play my quotes jot their notes, examine the things I wrote Just get the story right; I brought my lunch pail to work every day You decide to walk away, that’s when they wanna sing your praises Like (BLACKNESS), “we always loved that n****” And the next week nobody remembers; it’s like that

The second verse from Phonte was fantastic too. Should I quote that Spotify bar he had, or do y’all already know it? I feel like that’s another one of the most quoted lines on the album. F*** it; I’ll write it just in case y’all aren’t aware of it.

Streamed your little album; s*** was inconsistent Meh… Spotty fire

Bruh, I’m not gonna be able to choose a favorite song. I’m just not. F***, man. This s*** is incredible.

15. Work Through Me produced by Blaaq Gold & Focus…

This track is a really stellar finale for the album. Once again, the production is wonderful. The beat actually kinda reminds me of Free Baby by Mr. Carmack. The way Pooh & ‘Te are trading verses on this one is f****** awesome. When these n***** said “WONDER TWINS: ACTIVATE” at the same time, maaaan…

I wish y’all could’ve seen my reaction the first time I heard that s***. They f****** rapped their asses off on this s***, man. I was super excited when I caught that reference from Phonte about Company Flow’s Mr. Len.

It’s showtime when my Company Flow just like Mr. Len Throw me off my game; I just smile, tell ’em “do your best” Scratch that, go fish, n****, bouillabaisse

It’s f****** perfect. I love this s*** so much. I can’t praise it enough. It’s a genuinely beautiful end to the album. I f****** love it. It’s amazing.

This album is incredible. This is easily the best album I’ve heard this year, and it’s honestly one of the best albums I’ve heard period. I don’t have any gripes with a single track on this thing. It’s literally perfect to me. The beats are incredible. The verses are amazing. The hooks are superb. These are some of the best skits I’ve ever heard on an album. I saw someone say that there were too many skits, but it really wouldn’t be a proper Little Brother album without them. They’ve always had great skits. I’ve also seen people say that this isn’t a true Little Brother album since 9th Wonder wasn’t involved, and, to put it bluntly, I think that’s bullshit. To me Little Brother is a duo. Yes, 9th Wonder produced their two classic records, but it’s not like they didn’t continue as a group without him. Saying Pooh & Phonte rapping without 9th Wonder isn’t a true reunion would be like saying an album by Slug & Ant without Spawn isn’t a true Atmosphere album. It’s bullshit. Would it have been cool to see a placement from 9th Wonder? Of course. It’s not like the production isn’t amazing without him though. He’s an amazing producer, but they frankly don’t need him if they’re getting beats like this from other people. 9th Wonder isn’t the only person who can make amazing beats for them. This record is flawless to me as it is. Literally every second of the album is entertaining. The sequencing is perfect. It’s emotional, nostalgic, and even humorous. I couldn’t have asked for a better product. I love Little Brother, and I was excited for this project, but I certainly was not expecting it to be this good. I forget which one of them said this—it might have been Pooh—but they wrote the entire album together, and you can really tell. They didn’t just email verses back and forth. This is a true collaborative effort, and the chemistry between these two is undeniable. Oh, by the way… I know I kinda brought up Outkast and threw them under the bus a couple times, and I really hope nobody gets upset about that. I obviously really like Outkast. I may not love them as much as most other Hip Hop fans do, but by no means do I think they’re wack. I just prefer a lot of other artists and it gets on my nerves that people act like they’re the only talented Southern group. This is a Little Brother review though, so maybe I shouldn’t have brought Outkast up.

Anyway, if it wasn’t clear enough, I think this is the best possible work of art Little Brother could’ve possibly released after all these years. I couldn’t imagine myself enjoying an album more than I enjoy this one. It’s like they never left. I always choose a favorite and least favorite song when I write reviews, but honestly you shouldn’t take it too seriously here because I genuinely love every single track on the project. I’ve literally been listening to this m*********** multiple times a day since it came out. This album is a masterpiece to me.

FAVORITE SONG: ALL IN A DAY LEAST FAVORITE SONG: RIGHT ON TIME

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thatcrazyfanfictionwriter · 6 years

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Secret of the Sewers: New Girl in Town

Down in an old subway tunnel long-since abandoned by the citizens of New York, the Hamato family was working together to help Leatherhead get settled into the newly discovered space. While they all enjoyed the crocodile's company, their home was snug enough as it is with the six of them. It had taken a few weeks to find their large ally a home big enough, and even longer to gather all the furniture and build a security system for him. Now, the only thing left to do was help Leatherhead get fully moved in.

"Alright, a bit more to the right…" Mikey called, waving his hand to the right.

Both Raph and Leo struggled to lift their end of the large mattress as they followed Mikey's instructions. Leatherhead easily lifted his end, also following the orange turtle's commands.

"Now a bit more to the left." Mikey corrected.

"Oh I'll give you a left, Mikey!" Raph growled. "A left hook!"

From atop the mattress they were currently trying to situate, Hisako sat up, looking more than a bit annoyed.

"You know, I could help you guys if you wanted." She commented hopefully. “I mean, my hand’s all healed and everything.”

She waved around her previously injured hand, showing off the new scar that now decorated it.

"Not a chance." Leo told her. "Your hand may be healed, but we’re still not sure what that ‘Dark Phoenix’ thing you pulled did to you. “Yeah sis.” Mikey agreed. “You were out for a whole week after what you did to he-whom-shall-remain-nameless, and we just want to make sure you've rested enough."

"Come on guys," Hisako griped. "I've been doing nothing but rest ever since I woke up. I rested while you found this place, I rested while you gathered all the furniture. Shell, I'm even resting on the furniture you're moving right now!"

Donny looked up from where he was working, installing a security system for Leatherhead.

"As the unofficial physician of this group, I say it's too early for you to be doing any strenuous physical activity."

Hisako groaned, flopping down on the mattress in frustration. As much as she loved her brothers, they could be a bit overbearing at times. With their sister sufficiently cowed, the turtles resumed their duties.

"There!" Mikey called out. "Perfect!"

Leo and Raph gratefully dropped the mattress, Leatherhead doing the same. The croc then scooped up Hisako, placing her on his shoulder.

"What next Don?" Leo asked.

"Well I-"

Before Donnie could answer, there was the familiar sound of footsteps approaching from not far off. Hisako instantly perked up, jumping off of Leatherhead's shoulders before anyone could react.

"Casey! April!" she called.

"Hey Greenie." Casey greeted as he and April entered the lair.

"You're looking better." April told her. "And, not just physically. You seem genuinely happy."

Hisako grinned.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she replied. "The man who ruined my life is gone, the place that haunted my nightmares is history. For the first time in my life… I'm 100% free."

"Get back here Hisako." Donnie called out, causing Hisako's smile to drop slightly.

"Scratch that. 95% free."

She then quickly dove out of the way of Raph's attempts to grab her.

"You need to rest!" Leo insisted, "You've had a traumatic experience!"

"We've ALL had a traumatic experience!" Hisako argued. “You’ve nearly got your throat slit Mikey."

"It was a tiny cut, and besides, your experience was traumatic…er...." Mikey called out, faltering a bit at the end.

Hisako just giggled as April decided to change the subject.

"So… I see you guys got Leatherhead moved in." She remarked.

Donny gave a nod.

"Yeah." he commented. "Figured it would give us something to do while we recovered. Unfortunately, the task was so time consuming that we haven't even had time to find new masks for ourselves."

"Funny you should say that." Casey remarked holding out some kind of box covered in newspaper.

"Ooh presents!" Mikey exclaimed.

He grabbed it, tearing off the paper in one fell swoop. His smile faded a bit when he was it was just a shoe box.

"Gee thanks Case." Mikey said monotonously. "But I think we got the shoe department squared away.

Casey chuckled.

"Open it, bonehead."

Mikey did so and his smile returned at the sight of a row of colorful lengths of cloth. There were five of them, one for each one of the Hamato Clan.

"Guys! We've got new masks!" Mikey squealed in delight.

Everyone swarmed the box, snagging their proper color, immediately tying them onto their faces. Once they did, it was as if a small piece of them had been returned to them.

"Gotta say, I was starting to feel naked without it." Raph remarked.

"Thank you both." Leo told them with a bow.

"Don't mention it." Casey said with a wave. "Consider it a thank you for saving our hides."

Hisako looked at the fifth mask, a dark green color that was about the same color of her brothers’ shells. Having never had a mask of her own, she was eager to see if it worked.

"How do I look?" she asked, finishing off the knot.

"Nice." Leo complimented.

"Not bad." Raph agreed.

"I concur." Donnie added.

"Little less hair, little more green, and a shell, and you could pass as one of us." Mikey commented.

That's when April let out a snort. The Hamato siblings all turned to see her and Casey fighting back snickers.

"Funny you should mention that..." April giggled. "You see…. We didn't just buy the masks."

Casey pulled out a large box, handing it to Hisako. She took it, seriously tempted to read their minds, but instead, she simply opened the present. Once she opened the box, she couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"What do ya think?" Casey asked.

Hisako reached into the box, pulling out a backpack shaped exactly like a turtle shell. The turtles took one look at it, and the dam burst. Everyone in the room began laughing hysterically. Hisako slipped the backpack one, giggling so hard tears came to her eyes.

"Look guys!" she cackled. "I'm just like you!"

"Aesthetically maybe,” Donny remarked, “but not-"

That's when Hisako snatched his mask right off his face.

"I beg to differ." she argued playfully, pulling off her mask. "Just watch my intellectual relation."

She pulled Donny's mask over her face, then turned to face the group.

"Greetings." she called in a robotic version of Donny's voice, complete with cheesy robotic arm movements. "I am Donatello. I am a turtle robot. I am incapable of talking to anybody without sounding like a know-it-all."

The rest of the group burst into laughter hearing Hisako's impression of her brother. Donnie chuckled good-naturedly before snatching his mask back.

"Ha-ha. Very funny."

"Yeah." Mikey agreed. "Downright hilarious!"

That's when Hisako grabbed his mask.

"Just for that, you're next!"

She tied on the mask, then made the silliest face she could muster.

"Yo Dudes! I'm Michelangelo! Wanna see me stuff an entire pizza in my mouth?!"

"Hey!" Mikey interjected as everyone else was laughing. "That only happened once."

Everybody looked at Mikey, their gazes silently judging him.

"Ok twice, but I choked on that last one!"

Everybody giggled as Mikey reclaimed his mask

"Alright Hisako," Leo said handing his mask to her. "Let's see what you do with me."

Hisako slipped the mask on, then took on a deep, batman-esque voice.

"I am Leonardo. I am your leader. You must do what I say because I am the leader. I know what is best because I am the leader."

Now everybody was laughing once more, even Hisako as she handed Leo his mask back,

"I sound nothing like that!" Leo shouted putting his mask back on.

"Yes that's why we're laughing," Raph responded. "Because you sound nothing like that."

That's when Hisako walked up to him, holding out her hand.

"Your turn, Raphy-boy." she told him, her voice laced with an edge that only seemed to egg Raph on.

"Bring it on." Raph challenged, handing her his mask.

She put on the mask, then took on a gorilla like stance.

"Me Raph! Me Smash!" she shouted, raising her fists into the air.

She then immediately pulled the mask off her face, throwing it at Raph before taking off in a dead sprint.

"That's it!" Raph shouted, snagging his mask out of the air before starting to chase after her. "Come back here you little parrot!"

He chased her around Leatherhead's home in a full circle, Hisako taunting him with every step. The rest of them watched the two of them with a combination of surprise and enjoyment.

"I think it's safe to say that Hisako has a clean bill of health." Leo noted.

"I guess so." Donnie concurred as Raph continued his futile chase.

Eventually, Hisako stopped mid-run, causing Raph to trip over himself to try and stop himself.

"Hey, anybody else hungry?" she asked.

"Yeah." Mikey agreed.

"I could eat." Donny added.

"Yeah..." Raph croaked.

Hisako grinned.

"Okay. I could run to that burger joint down the road and-"

"NO!" everybody shouted at once.

Hisako paused for a moment, then realized what she'd said.

"Right..." she muttered. "Forgot for a minute."

"You may be physically better, but we are not letting you go topside alone again." Leo insisted.

"At least, not anytime in the foreseeable future." Donnie amended.

Hisako conceded, turning to Casey and April.

"Well, if not me, then what about you two?"

Both Casey and April shook their heads.

"We both got lost about 17 times just trying to find this place." April argued.

"Yeah, sorry Greenie, but you're kinda outta luck with us." Casey lamented.

"Well then how do we decide-" Hisako began.

"NO NOSE GOES!" Mikey screamed

Donny, Mikey, and Raph immediately placed a finger on the center of their face where a nose would usually be. Leo, who was a second too late, sighed in irritation.

"Ah come on guys." Leo lamented. "How is this fair? We don't even have noses."

"Then what do you call the little slits right there?" Casey asked, gesturing to Leo's nostrils.

"...Little slits?" Leo tried to answer.

Raph clapped Leo on the shell.

"Don't try to fight it bro. You lost, you go."

"Well how exactly do you expect me to get burgers? I can't exactly go inside, and i don't think they take turtles in the drive-thru."

That's when a bike helmet came flying his way. Leo barely caught it in time.

"Take the shell cycle." Raph told him. "Nobody will think twice about you in a full face helmet on my bike."

"You sure Raph?" Leo asked, taken aback by Raph's suggestion.

"Yeah, just know this."

He grabbed Leo by the shirt, pulling him closer so they were looking each other dead in the eye.

"You get so much as a scratch on her, and we'll see if mutant turtles can survive without their shells."

"Noted." Leo simply responded as Raph released him.

Slipping the helmet under his arm, Leo left the tunnel. Behind Raph, Hisako resumed her gorilla-like stance.

"Scratch bike, Raph SMASH!" She mocked.

Raph turned on her, pouncing on her as she tried to get away.

"Raph gonna smash you!" Raph roared mocking Hisako's impression of him as the two wrestled.

Both Mikey and Donny watched the wrestling match with a mix of apprehension and fascination.

"Umm, should we do something, Don?" Mikey asked.

"You want to get between those two?" Donnie retorted.

Mikey looked back at the fierce battle between the two siblings.

"Uh… no." He replied.

"Me neither." Casey agreed.

"Not gonna happen." April concluded.

…

Leo had to admit, cruising down the street on the Shell Cycle was pretty fun. He'd been the last of his brothers to even think of riding the bike, labeling it reckless and hazardous. That had changed the first time he got on it. While he still preferred to run or to travel by Shell raiser, he wasn't against a little ride every now and then.

As Leo approached a stop light, another rider came up beside him on a sleek, red motorcycle. The rider looked at Leo's bike up and down before flipping up the visor of their helmet.

"Nice ride you got there!" the rider compliment

Leo turned to the rider.

"Thanks." he responded. "Yours is pretty sweet too."

"Yeah, but looks aren't everything." The rider countered. "It's about what's inside."

The rider revved the engine of their bike, their back tire squealing and burning rubber. Leo grinned under his helmet, doing the same. He'd probably need to buy Raph some new tires, but something told him this would be worth it.

"Bike's got juice, I'll admit." The rider conceded. "But let's see if it can keep up."

The light turned green and the rider sped off in a streak of red and black. Leo grinned.

"Bring it!" Leo challenged as he sped after them.

With all the mods Raph had made to the bike, Leo caught up with his opponent relatively quickly. The driver just looked at him before accelerating again. Seeing this, Leo got irritated and hit the accelerator as well, desperate to catch up. The Rider swerved into his lane, blocking his attempts to pass him. Leo then swerved into the other lane to try and pull ahead. Unfortunately, the rider swerved with him.

"Not gonna be that easy, newbie!" The rider taunted.

Leo wasn't done yet. He revved the bike, desperately trying to catch up to his opponent. He then looked down the road and saw a final stop light before the road cut off.

"First one through that light wins!" the rider called.

Leo and the rider sped as fast as they could towards the stoplight, with the rider still ahead. Taking measures into his own hands, Leo saw a small, make-shift ramp a kid had probably made for his skate board.

"This is so stupid." he muttered as he gunned it.

At breakneck speeds, Leo approached the ramp and ran straight up it, the rider looked up in amazement as Leo soared through the air over her. With seconds to spare, Leo crossed the 'finish line' right before the other rider did, immediately hitting the brakes and coming to a stop.

"That, was some pretty gutsy racing there, newbie." The rider complimented as they pulled of their helmet.

Leo was absolutely mesmerized when the rider revealed their face, or more appropriately, her face. The rider had long, bright pink hair that seemed to cascade out of the helmet in a waterfall of pink tresses. Her skin was an olive tinge, and her smile made Leo's brain suddenly short circuit.

"Uh…. thanks." Leo responded still stunned.

The rider laughed at Leo's sudden debacle with the English language.

"I see. Wasn't expecting a girl right?" she asked. "No worries. I'm more than used to it."

Leo just kept staring before finally snapping himself out of it, clearing his throat.

"No. no it's fine. I just wasn't expecting a girl… like you."

The girl gave a grin.

"There are no girls like me." she told him. "But then again, I doubt there are guys like you either. People like us tend to be one of a kind."

"Uh…" Leo stuttered until he realized what she meant. "Yeah. Right."

The girl chuckled.

"You know, you're a good rider, but you could definitely use a few lessons in racing, and in some real jumps."

She fished into her jacket, pulling out a small notepad and a pen. With a flurry of motion, she scribbled something on one of the pages before ripping it out.

"Here." she said, offering him the paper. "Give me a call if you ever feel like becoming a real biker."

"Uh… yeah sure." Leo answered.

She chuckled, tucking the paper into his jacket pocket.

"Though first, you might want to take some English classes." she joked.

She was about to speed off before Leo finally remembered that he didn't even know this mystery girl's name.

"Hey!" he called out. "I didn't catch your name!"

The girl looked over her shoulder before slipping her helmet back on.

"It's Karai, you?"

"It's Leo." he replied. "Leonardo"

Karai revved her bike, peeling down the street with a final wave.

"See you around, Leonardo!"

Leo just stood there, utterly amazed the girl he had met there tonight. Who was she? Where did she come from? He didn't know, all he knew was he had to see her again.

A buzzing in his pocket pulled him from his reverie. Fishing around, he pulled out his shell cell, which was displaying a text message.

You get lost bro? Mikey's getting restless waiting for those burgers! -H

Leo suddenly remembered, and felt like a complete and utter idiot.

"The burgers!" he screamed

Jumping back on the bike, Leo sped off, hoping he wasn't too late.

….

Leo finally made it back to Leatherhead's place with the food, the paper with Karai's number folded up in his jacket pocket.

"Hey guys!" Leo called out, holding out the bags of food. "Sorry I'm late!"

"Bout time bro." Raph called back, snagging one of the bags from his brother. "What kept ya?"

Leo gave a shrug, handing a pair of the bags to Donny and Hisako respectively.

"Traffic." he replied dismissively.

"Traffic-schmaffic." Mikey scoffed. "Gimme the food!"

"Okay Mikey." Leo chuckled, tossing him his bag.

Leatherhead came to claim a bag while Casey and April took theirs. Once everybody was eating, Leo slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out that paper. As he unfolded it, Hisako leaned over, looking over his shoulder

"Whatcha got there, Leo?" she asked.

Out of panic, Leo shoved the paper back into his pocket.

"Nothing." Leo responded hastily.

Hisako pointed at Leo's pocket, her eyes glowing green as she flicked her finger upward, pulling the paper from his pocket. She snatched it out of the air, deactivating her powers and unfolding the paper.

"Hey!" he shouted, trying to get the paper, "How did you even do that?!"

"Been practicing." Hisako responded, trying to read the paper and avoid her brother's attempts to retrieve it. "Haven't really had much else to do under mandatory bedrest."

"Come on. Give it back." Leo asked, realizing his attempts were futile.

"Why?" she asked. "What's so important about this paper?"

"Nothing just give it!"

Hisako refused, finally getting the chance to read the paper. Once she realized what it was, she broke out into a big grin.

"Guys! Leo got a girl's phone number!" she cheered.

"Would you be quiet?" Leo hissed.

"Leo's got a girlfriend! Leo's got a girlfriend!" She chanted, drawing the rest of the group's attention.

"Oh so that's what was keeping ya." Raph responded, looking up from his food.

"How could have a girlfriend if we never show ourselves to anyone?" Donny questioned.

Casey let out a cough, causing Donny to blush.

"Almost anyone." he corrected.

"I…" Leo started to say. "I met her while i was getting the food.

"How?" Mikey asked excitedly. "Is she pretty? What's her name? How old is she? Does she like turtles?"

"Did she see you?" Leatherhead added.

That question suddenly dropped the mood of the room, everybody looking at Leo for an answer to that oh so important question.

"I kept my helmet on the whole time. She didn't see my face." Leo quickly responded.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief, and Leo took advantage of the reprieve to reclaim his paper.

"Besides, she's not my girlfriend." he argued. "Odds are, I'll probably never see her again."

"Then why did she give you her number?" Hisako asked.

"Number or not, it would never work." Leo told her, though he was most likely trying to convince himself. "Besides, our secret comes first, and there are enough people who know about us already."

April suddenly pelted Leo with a French fry.

"Glad to know we mean so little to you, Leo." she teased.

"Yeah, it's not like we risked our freedom and our lives to help you or anything." Casey added.

"Oooooh!" The other turtles called.

"I do believe they just called you out, Leo." Hisako jeered.

Leo's brow furrowed as he got to his feet, surprising everyone with his sudden change in demeanor.

"Okay, if you guys are just gonna treat me as a turtle punching bag, I'm heading out. I'll meet you guys back at the lair."

He abruptly got up, walking out of Leatherhead's home. Everyone watched him go a bit confused.

"Is it just me, or did he take that harder than he usually does?" Mikey asked.

"It ain't just you." Raph replied.

Hisako stood up, chowing down the last of her food before making her way home.

"I'll go check on him." she offered.

"Just be careful." Raph told her. "You're still-"

"Say I'm still recovering one more time, and I'll show you that I've fully recovered. Got that?"

Raph wisely fell silent as Hisako disappeared into the sewers.

…..

Leo continued walking through the tunnels as Hisako ran up to him.

"Hey mister grumpy shell." she greeted, slowly down to match his pace.

Leo turned and saw his sister finally catching up to him and groaned. He did not want to deal with any more teasing.

"Come to poke fun some more?" he grumbled.

"Actually, I came to see what crawled up your shell." she asked. "You usually bounce back from our teasing, and give back just as much. Why the sudden change?"

Leo stopped walking, wondering the same himself. Why had he suddenly gotten defensive? After a moment, he finally figured out the reason.

"Well… I guess I just got tired of It." he answered.

"Tired of what?" Hisako asked.

"Tired of everyone needling me about everything I do."

"We don't do that." Hisako replied.

Leo met her eye, then began to mimic her earlier impression of him.

"I know what is best because I am the leader." he mocked. "Sound familiar?"

Hisako threw her hands up in exasperation.

"I was joking!" she exclaimed. "I did the same thing with everyone else, and they all brushed it off no problem. Why can't you?"

"Because with being in charge of your guys' safety every time we leave the lair, I have enough on my mind without you guys treating me like a joke."

Hisako took a deep breath, calming herself down.

"Leo, we don't treat you like a joke." she promised. "We all trust you with our lives. Why do you think you're our leader? We joke and poke fun because we know that it's all for kicks. We're family. It's kind of what we do."

"Then would it kill you to not mock me when something nice comes into my life?" Leo angrily pleaded.

Hisako blinked.

"You… You honestly like this mystery girl." she realized. "Leo..."

Leo suddenly felt himself falter a bit. Did he? He barely knew her. In fact, he only knew her name, nothing else.

"Well… so what if I do?"

Hisako sighed.

"Look Leo, believe when I say I can understand wanting to find someone outside of the family to trust, and to… well… love. However, you need to be careful. We got lucky with April and Casey, but I don't think every human we encounter will be the same."

Leo sighed, seeing the wisdom in his sister's words.

"I know that, but at least give me the chance to find out for myself. I'm not a complete idiot, I'm not gonna tell her everything right away."

Hisako nodded.

"Alright, but only on one condition."

"Name it."

Hisako then twirled her finger, his mask suddenly spinning on his face to cover his eyes.

"You lighten up, fearless leader!" she squealed, tackling him.

"Hey. Get off!" Leo yelled wrestling with Hisako.

"Make me." Hisako retorted.

The two wrestled playfully, Leo's earlier outburst forgotten. He may be the leader, but he was also their brother, and he would just have to learn to accept their poking fun. And with his mystery girl, he figured his chances of meeting her again were slim to none. Odds are, he'd forget about her in a few days.

….

Karai's motorcycle sped through the darkened streets, screeching around corners as she pulled up to a large building in the center of the business district. It didn’t have any outward signage or a visible address, but that did not deter the woman. Not even bothering to slow down, Karai made her way into a large parking garage, each space filled with identical black motorcycles lined up in a row. Near the end, there was a space labeled 'Karai' in bold, spray painted letters in an obvious graffiti pattern. Karai parked in the spot, flipping her kick stand out and pulling off her helmet.

"Home sweet home." she said with a sigh. "Wonder what father wants this time."

She sauntered over to the service elevator, walking in and placing her thumb on the scanner provided.

"Oroku Karai, let me in already." she announced.

There was a ding and the elevator closed, slowly taking her up to the top level. She tapped her foot impatiently at the slow ascent of the elevator, wondering if it really was the fastest way to the top floor. Finally the elevator stopped and the doors opened to the large Japanese temple that served as her father's office.

Once the door dinged, Karai rolled out of the elevator, getting into a defensive position just as several Motorheads jumped down from the rafters. Smirking, Karai hooked her helmet with her foot, launching it into the air. With a sudden, powerful kick, she sent it soaring up towards the oncoming attackers, where it collided with one of the motorheads.

"That all you got?!" she challenged.

The motorhead quickly got to his feet and charged towards her. She tried to perform a sweeping kick but he was quick to jump over and deliver a kick of his own. Fortunately Karai caught the foot and swung him away from her. The motorhead got up once again and charged towards her again. He delivered several punches at his opponent, but Karai quickly blocked each one. She finally grabbed one of his punched and flipped him onto his back. Karai then twisted the motorheads arm ready to deliver the final blow.

"Yame!" a voice called out.

Karai paused mid blow, her hand inches from her captive motorhead. She turned towards the source of the voice, dropping the motorhead.

"You know, if you wanted to see if I'd been keeping up with my studies, you could have just invited me to spar with you, father." she called.

"Adaptation to the unexpected is essential in a warrior." her father explained.

Karai just sighed, grabbing her now dented helmet and tucking it under her arm.

"You gonna come out of the shadows anytime soon?" she asked.

He stepped into the light showing a middle aged man in a blue and white Japanese-style garment. His hair was long and black, coming to just above his shoulders to frame his slender face. He approached her, looking Karai up and down.

"Your time in Japan has not dampened your sense of individuality." he remarked.

Karai tightened her bright pink ponytail with a shrug.

"Well, you probably shouldn't have sent me to college in the capital of anime and otakus." She told him with a small amount of sarcasm. "So why bring me home so soon after graduation? I thought I was supposed to be your emissary with the Foot High Council."

Saki led Karai to his desk, gesturing for her to sit on a cushion set up in front of it. Once she did, Saki took his seat, knitting his fingers together and resting his chin on them.

"I have an assignment for you." he explained.

Karai raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" she asked interested. "Can't remember the last time you gave me one of those."

"Over the past few years I have had some 'interlopers' meddling in my business."

Karai let out a snort.

"The great Oroku Saki having trouble with interlopers in his business? Call the presses!"

Had it been anyone else, Saki probably would have killed them where they stood. However, since it was Karai, he let it slide.

"I need you to find them and take them out." He concluded

"Alright." Karai agreed, cracking her knuckles. "What info do you have?"

Saki reached under his desk, pulling out a file before handing it to her.

"This has all the information Stockman collected on them." he explained as she started reading it. "Four mutant turtles and their human sister. Trained in the art of Ninjutsu.

Karai blinked, then looked down at the folder.

"You're kidding." she said bluntly.

"Extraordinary I admit, but true nonetheless." Saki responded.

Karai read the files in disbelief.

"You know, if I didn't know about Stockman's pets, I'd say you'd lost it."

She then read one of the names and paused.

"Leonardo. Huh. How ironic."

Saki paused as well, wondering what his daughter meant.

"How so?" Saki asked.

"Well, while I was riding around, I got into this race with another motorcyclist. Guy was gutsy, and his bike was sweet. Looked homemade, and the turtle-shell decals were really well done. Said his name was Leonardo."

Saki stroked his chin in contemplation. Could this mysterious rider be one of the turtles?

"Hmmm… That is quite the coincidence."

"Maybe." she allowed. "But I didn't see his face. Had on a full face helmet that he didn't remove, so there's no way of telling if it's your little friend or not."

"Did you hear his voice?" Saki asked.

Karai gave her father a withering glare.

"No father, he communicated with me telepathically." she told him, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Of course I heard his voice."

Saki opened up his laptop, clicking on a file marked 'Turtles'. Going to the Leonardo subfolder, he found the file he wanted.

"Did he sound like this?" he asked

He pressed a button on his computer and an audio recording played.

“Give us our sister, before things get ugly.”

Karai focused for a minute, then nodded.

"Yeah… that's him." she said. "No doubt about it"

"Well then." Saki voiced, a plan forming already. "Perhaps we can use this to our advantage. Keep tabs on Leonardo. He may be the key to locating and destroying the others."

Karai gave a nod.

"Should be easy. I gave him my number and offered to teach him how to really ride that bike. I can use that to get close, and who knows. Maybe I'll set up a meeting with the whole family."

Saki couldn't help but smile. Karai had the same creativity and cunning as her father. It made him proud to call her his daughter.

"I know you will not fail me, Karai."

She gave a wink before sauntering out of the room.

"When have I ever?"

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lazybarbarians · 7 years

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High Aztech by Ernest Hogan

Ragnell: This week’s book is High Aztech by Ernest Hogan. It follows our hero, Xólotl Zapata, as he tries to avoid various groups of religious extremists which want to convert, control, capture and kill him amidst a backdrop of violence, futurism, religious strife, cultural revival, viral mind alteration and hallucinations.

The story’s set in 21st Century Mexico, after a nuclear war in the Middle East called the Armageddon War has destabilized the West’s hold on the world and led to a resurgence of paganism. In 2045 East Asia is still a center of world business, Africa has emerged as the preeminent source for medicine and fashion, Europe has faded from prominence, the Middle East is uninhabitable, and the US has become a primitive authoritarian theocracy which burns heretics and witches. Mexico itself is experiencing an Aztec cultural renaissance as it emerges as the world power of the Western Hemisphere. Mexico City has been renamed Tenochtitlán and the old Aztec temple is a cultural centers. Espananahuatl, a blend of Aztec Nahuatl and Spanish, is spreading as the primary language. Sunrise ritual is such a common part of people’s lives that the city government has to sound a horn to clear the roads in the morning and there’s a booming business selling laserthorns for bloodletting rites,

Kalinara: One of the touches I really liked was how future technology plays into the revival of aztec customs. For example: the “humanoid” meat that the characters eat, to honor cannibalistic ritual is created in a lab. It’s genetically human meat, but no one is murdered to get it. I thought the idea of people getting artificial hearts after a sacrificial ritual was pretty interesting too, especially the way that the scars from the surgery become badges of honor.

R: Xólotl starts out getting a death threat from the Neliyacme, an extremist Aztecan reconstructionist group because some of his writing has offended them. He tries to get his mind off this and the fact that his girlfriend, , has left on some mysterious business and he doesn’t know when to expect her again, by hooking up with a second girl, Patiyonena, who is a naive rich girl. Post-coitus, Cóatliquita, who has been infected with a virus by a poltical group and has been passing it all over town, arrives and kisses Xólotl. Then she dies, leaving Xólotl infected.

The government arrives and takes Xólotl and Patiyonena, but they get attacked by rioters, so Patiyonena takes Xólotl to her parents. Fortunately, her parents are fabulously wealthy. Unfortunately, her parents are the 21st Century Aztec equivalent of Pat Robertson and the 700 Club, and they discover the virus Xólotl has actually changes someone’s mind to believe more strongly in the Aztec gods. Fleeing these guys, Xólotl gets picked up by the Garbage Queen, the businesswoman who has become rich taking care of the city’s sanitation needs, She attempts to sell him to the mafia, the Don arriving in a helicopter named for the Hindu god of wisdom. While in flight, the helicopter crashes and the Neliyacme get him. He’s next picked up by US spies, who inject him with a Christian version of the virus. After that, the government gets him, and his own mother is working for them. She asks about the effects of the two viruses and decides the best way to fix things is to inject him with ALL of the viruses and let him sort the gods out.

This leads to the best sequence, his hallucinatory Party of the Gods! EVERYBODY was there! The Aztec gods! The Mayan gods! The Hindu gods! The Greek and Roman gods! Shiva dancing with the goddess of the city! Allah, Yahweh and Jehovah discussing philosophy! Expressions of cultural fears like Godzilla and King Kong! Cultural Icons like Frida Kahlo and Elvis Presley! Personal gods! EVERY COLOR JESUS! All partying together!

Then Xólotl runs into his artist friend he’s been talking about all book, who introduces him to a genius South African scientist and reveals that they cooked up the virus in the hopes everyone would get infected with multiple strains and learn to live with each other. So they take Xólotl to a big party to infect other people, and to trap another group into picking him up so they get infected. And the party goes on.

I don’t know how to review this in-depth. It’s a seriously wild and fun book, and I believe still quite relevant. I did find the fate of the US disturbing, but that’s due to current events and not anything wrong with the story.

The only part that bugged me was the scene between the Garbage Queen and the Mafia King, talking about racism. The whole framing seemed a bit… soap opera-y and off somehow since it was from Xólotl’s perspective. There could’ve been better ways to bring up that aspect of culture besides Blanca and the Don being so ridiculous about sex and ignoring Xólotl like he’s a lamp or something. But we get a payoff in the end, so in hindsight it’s not so offputting.

K:: I thought the Garbage Queen segment was a really interesting look at race and perception. Race becomes an interesting thread in the entire novel. “Pure aztec” and “pure Castillian” come up a lot, and one of the reasons Xólotl is considered unattractive is because he looks mixed race. Blanca is actually Native American, while Gabriel is of Puerto Rican and black ancestry, but both have used plastic surgery to hide it. I am very ignorant about the subjects of racism and colorism in Mexico and Latin America, but I think that perhaps someone more knowledgeable about the subject might have interesting things to say about this segment.

R: It is, but I just couldn’t get past them exploring it by having those two play through such a private conversation in front of a third party.

K: The one part that I think that the book fell down with is the portrayal of the leader of the Neliyacme. Ultimately, the reason that Xólotl angered them is because he decided to portray the fictionalized version of their leader as gay. He had actually been inspired by a different public figure and had felt that the fictionalized version was very different than the leader’s public image. As it turns out, the real leader was secretly gay himself. Hence the trouble.

The problem though is that as soon as the character is revealed to be gay, he basically becomes the worst kind of shrill, mincing, stereotype. He’s described as shrieking, sobbing, and easily beaten up by his domineering female underling. There’s reference to him committing rape and torture on male prisoners (but he doesn’t want to do it to Xólotl because he’s “too ugly”). There are a couple of other gay characters who are tied to him (the aforementioned underling and his wife are lovers, for example), but they’re not really any better in terms of portrayal. It’s an unfortunately ugly segment of an otherwise very enjoyable book.

R: Ugh. Forgot that guy. Honestly, the Neliyacme were an insignificant part of the book compared to High Aztec, the government and the SVN. They laid the trap early with the masculinity thing, and danced so much around actually saying it and had the villain so ineffective. It was definitely a low part.

Aside from those bits, though, it was just a purely enjoyable read. I like these first-person futuristic novels that immerse you in the culture with slang terms and the main character griping about and reveling in his life. It was particularly effective when the subject is a mind-altering virus.

#Divine Block Party #tired gay stereotype #Garbage Queen meets Mafia Don #Synthesis of religious fanaticism #the virus is the cure #Religious fight but they also fuck #deadbeat writer saves humanity #High Aztech #Ernest Hogan

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sheilacwall · 5 years

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Album Review | Little Brother – May The Lord Watch

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1. The Feel produced by Khrysis

2. A Word from the President

3. Everything produced by Khrysis

4. Right on Time produced by Nottz

5. Black Magic (Make It Better) featuring Madison McFerrin produced by Focus…

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6. Life After Blackface

7. Goodmorning Sunshine produced by Focus…

This song has yet another phenomenal instrumental. Every producer on this project really came through. These beats are fantastic. The first verse from Pooh is awesome too.

I was taught men ain’t really supposed to have no feelings But Lil Wayne said I shouldn’t have no ceilings I was raised on Rap music, I’ma need some healing

The way Phonte came in right behind him was fantastic too. Everything about the way they’re rapping together is just awesome. That hard drive line that Phonte had was great.

I’m addicted to her She my down a** offensive-slur Inexpensive furs Louis Vuitton, that’s picture perfect

8. Dyana Change My Life

9. What I Came For produced by Khrysis

Man, I really wish I could just quote the entire verse. His flow is fantastic. The Fortnite line was great, and I loved that Eddie Griffin bar too.

The fight goes on; the nights is long & regimented So I can go on a run that’s unprecedented Them bars is comedy, king; n****, you Eddie Griffin Two pools & a sip; now here’s to better livin’

10. Inside the Producer’s Studio

11. Sittin’ Alone produced by Nottz

12. Picture This produced by Black Milk

So fresh, so independent So free, so me while you in your feelings I needed shelter and I couldn’t find the antidote So god gave me the words to let me pen a ceiling

13. N***** Hollering

14. All in a Day produced by King Karnov

Streamed your little album; s*** was inconsistent Meh… Spotty fire

Bruh, I’m not gonna be able to choose a favorite song. I’m just not. F***, man. This s*** is incredible.

15. Work Through Me produced by Blaaq Gold & Focus…

It’s showtime when my Company Flow just like Mr. Len Throw me off my game; I just smile, tell ’em “do your best” Scratch that, go fish, n****, bouillabaisse

It’s f****** perfect. I love this s*** so much. I can’t praise it enough. It’s a genuinely beautiful end to the album. I f****** love it. It’s amazing.

FAVORITE SONG: ALL IN A DAY LEAST FAVORITE SONG: RIGHT ON TIME

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