#but even outside of ignoring the lore it's an effective horror game

[tothepointofinsanity]

Greener Grass Awaits Lore "Masterpost"

[This post contains major spoilers for the game, so please be careful while interacting.]

[I would call this a fancy piece, but really it's just me incoherently blabbering about something I like not being talked about enough again. Read it with a kilogram of salt and view it as a discussion piece instead of what it tries to be. Be warned that this is a very long post, and it is encouraged to play the game before scrolling this.]

The Fundamentals: Greener Grass Awaits is advertised as a sport and horror game. In the former, your main objective is to finish all 12 holes on the golf course. In the latter, your character is stalked by undead entities under the moonlight that distract you from your said casual golfing spree. Before all else, we should start by considering the environments presented to us within the game itself, as it contains history and lore relevant to the bigger picture.

The Setting: You break into a prestigious golfing course known as the Green Canyon Golf Club, a club that has appeared on a magazine issue before which crowns it as one of 'the most inconvenient' courses in the world, likely due to the fact that it was built on an island, also featuring courses that loop around bodies of water. A bit of history given to us was that the course was initially meant to be left as open space before it underwent renovations accordingly in 1982. Today, you will find a large bridge that looms in the skyline between hole 9 to 11 which serves as one of the alternate entry ways to the island, as well as long walkways that cut between winding grasslands and forests.

The Golf Course: The lush and verdant environments of Green Canyon's courses boast the transplant of distinctly non-native, European trees to sport its current iconic look, and this impressive landscape is maintained by an outsource lawn-care company known as Greener Grass, a team that specialises in 'large, remote areas' and is known for its apparently weird advertisements. It is also implied from the bizarre ad and posters that plays at the end of the game that Greener Grass Co. has capabilities in helping to 'revive' dead or dried up lawns, and use a special brand of either soil or fertilising materials that assist in this process. The latter is implied from what you find around the caddy shack.

The further you pick and go with your ball, however, the more oppressive the atmosphere becomes. At some places you will see the illusion shedding its scales - bald, exposed trees on yellowed patches of ground despite being surrounded by other lush trees.

The Caddyshack: At the end of the twelfth hole lies a building you were warned to stay away from because "it's bad", according to an actual Green Canyon club member you met previously. All the doors in the building are locked except for the employee's only room, which will reveal a bloody scene. Presumably, the person you encountered previously who gave you the warning was dead on a chair, while a charred body lies on the office table in the middle of the room. Strewn about are cans of gasoline and Greener Grass Awaits co. bags, possibly containing the fertiliser or soil speculated before. The caddyshack is an important place as it functions as the gateway between the human world and the realm of the residing deity.

More of this will be explained later on.

The Forest: Entering the darkness of the room in the caddyshack will magically transport you to a different space of existence. Here, temples are separated by deep forests, with sacrificial alters occasionally in between them. The forests are dark, and staying in the light is necessary for survival. There are two objectives in this section of the game: pop The Blister and then Kill the Tree. You will need to repeat this objective twice as you march further into the home of the eldritch deity. The Blisters are pulsing gobs of flesh, like a heart, that are stuck onto the orifice of a tree in the forests. However, the game developer interestingly refers to them not as blisters, but as wounds. More on this later. Popping the blisters with your ball will open up the temples' entrance to access the Trees in question, hence the latter objective. You Kill the Trees by swinging your ball into the hole beneath its trunk. There are two Trees (so two Blisters altogether) to kill. When both trees are killed, your action provokes the deity living in this space of existence so much that a boss fight is instigated.

With that being said, it's important to now discuss the enemies we encounter in question.

The Antagonists: Sneaking in for some midnight golfing has its consequences the longer you overstay your welcome on the field and continuously stare down the face of evil. Interestingly, this game presents a surprisingly thought-out mechanism and line-up of enemies as they do not operate on a singular basis, but rather as a triangular feedback between a cult, a forest of angels, and a God out of this world.

The Cult: Under the guise of a landscape company skillful in maintaining the surrounding flora, it is heavily speculated that the Greener Grass co. are an elusive cult that has been offering human sacrifices to a foreign deity that promises everlasting scenery (satisfaction, contentment) in exchange. It is implied from some sign boards that the Greener Grass cult have been spreading the deity's influence outside of its realm and into the human world through the transplant of the aforementioned 'saplings from Europe'. The flora of this game are symbolic of the presence of this God, and potentially serves as an anchor for it to assist in the maintenance of the landscape. Some clues eluding to us that it is indeed a cult were the bloodied altars in the forest sections, as well as a weird book lying on one of the chairs in the Caddyshack. The inscription on the front cover is hard to make out.

The three enemies that stalk you through the game are Greener Grass employees, and are the poster children for both the cult and company given they are one and the same. The 'bizarre ad' that plays at the end also features the same trio, and the song played in it has lyrics hinting towards the company's true intentions. Some of these notable lyrics are: "my life is not what I imagined", "what if you could find that green, and all you had to do was come with me?", "it's the answer to your problems if you come with me". Definitely ominous, and the cult's whole ordeal with 'greener grass awaits you' is a play on the proverb of "the grass is greener on the other side".

Essentially, it is a cult that capitalises off people's insecure dissatisfaction with their own lives (which is pretty much in character for most cults in the real world anyways), takes advantage of sentiments of envy stemmed similarly, all with the lure that you will be happy if you join them. However, the cult does not just follow the stereotypical 'what if happiness was evil' trope, but because their motif is directly tied to the deity they serve under.

The 'Angels': The forests between the temples and altars are occupied with a crowd of stone statues that have that trademark grin the employees had. The angels operate in a very unique mechanism. Unlike the trio employees that stalk closer when your back is turned on them, the statues littering the forest grounds follow another modified system of the weeping angel formula - the second you stay with them in the dark without a light source, it will prompt flashing visages of their faces to psychicly overwhelm your vision. They do not directly attack you, instead choosing to paralyse you in with their surrounding numbers if you're left to wander in the darkness. I call them 'angels' as they seem to be closer to the original weeping angel family in terms of how they work, but also due to the fact that they look much more friendly in the light. They are also enthusiastic statues who rotate between striking an unnecessarily cute abundance of poses. All these poses involve them expressing their joy, almost in ecstasy. Praising, worshipping...something. The ironic liveliness of their poses grants them an impression that they are dancing behind your back.

I also like the detail that when a light source is on them, their expressions are always shut-eyed, but with the visages that flash repeatedly in dark areas, even if you can't see them well, the game shows you that their eyes are open, and thus the impression their expressions give off is that they're mocking you.

On their own, the angels are not a difficult enemy given their psychic esque attacks are ceased with keeping the light close to you. But this game is sadistic, so it eventually throws in the Greener Grass employees into the forests as well. What occurs then is that you're forced to move away constantly - so you either get killed by the employee for trying to keep the light with you, or you're killed by the angels once the employee drives you out of the light's radius. Extremely evil. Once again, it is to enforce the idea that everything that wants to kill you in the game are in cahoots with each other. Another minor detail I noticed was that the trio employees from the Greener Grass commercial also broke into dances over something viewed as trivial as growing lawn grass, which is likely a parallel to the Angels' poses. The expression of 'dancing' and a carved, permanent grin, I think, is done to honour their God.

A God: The overseer of the Greener Grass cult, a deity not from our familiar world who is connected to trees, nature, and most importantly, joy. The final enemy of this game is Exuberance, an eldritch divinity who has nefarious intentions of fully crossing over to 'our' world once the Last Sacrifice is Broke Open. A face with a grin stretched wide by tree branches.

Exuberance is an interesting name as it is generally defined by 'the quality of being full of energy, excitement, and cheerfulness; ebullience.' It's not simply the emotion of happiness, but rather, referring to a state of high spirits, of ecstatic liveliness being. Furthermore, and perhaps this is merely a clever coincidence, but 'exuberance' can also be used to describe, 'the quality of growing profusely; luxuriance' particularly with plants, which would circle back to how it is related to trees and the Greener Grass cult. The entities associated with Exuberance are then constantly in a state of 'bliss' and carve their own faces to resemble their deity. After all, since when was the last time you felt so happy the only method of expressing it is through a dance? It's a primal trait, undoubtedly.

It is thus speculated that this God is quite ancient given the appearance of its realm, the forest, contains archaic architecture of temples. Yet, the bodies we find on the sacrificial altars are fresh, the blood more red than rust. Exuberance had been collecting human sacrifices through its cult, as evident by the large amount of bodies/souls that are released whenever the deity takes damage. It has that same air of confidence and arrogance towards humans that most eldritch Gods carry themselves with. Likes to speak a lot. Here are all of its lines:

Abandon this endeavor. You can't kill a God! You will join me eventually, everyone does!

Now I realise who I'm talking to! No matter. Your suit of flesh is fragile. I will break it open, and you will pour out. That body will be the last sacrifice I need.

You cannot keep that world! I will take your dinner from you.

Upon your first playthrough, though, Exuberance's dialogue sounds like complete gibberish or madness when the context is not made clear yet. This whole journey thus far has not made much sense on how it transitions from casual golfing to killing a God, how Green Canyon Golf Club has to do with a cult; but it will hopefully become clearer with the next introduction: The Protagonist.

The Protagonist: Our local golfer may not just be as local as we thought.

We've discussed the setting and the enemies. Now we must talk about the main character: yourself. In the game, you have no reflection to view your character's appearance, but if it helps in any way, you seem to be slightly shorter than the majority of the enemies and NPCs you encounter. This isn't important information, I just think it's funny. Your character is generally regarded as a weirdo, even speculated to be mentally unstable or inebriated by some people discussing this game. The signs seem to be there: vaulting fences into a premium golf course after dark to play golf in the dark, having a tendency to stare at other characters straight in the eyes, unsettling even the security guard, and appears to be obsessed with the sport of golf. Your character is played up to be an infatuated madman with the latter, with mental barriers scribbled about how they wouldn't miss golf for the world, and the leading theory as a result was that the entire game was a hallucination birthed from their obsession with golf, or rather, too bloody drunk and passed out with strange dreams near the canyon. This would have been the case until you consider two things: Firstly, despite claiming to be a hardcore golfer, your character carries around a beginner's guide on the sport, and has only a simple putter and driver in their sling bag. When you kill Exuberance and wake up in front of the club's front door, you also do not recall where you were, only recognising your car was parked, and that you should leave. Not recognising Green Canyon Golf Club indicates to us that something is off, given as discussed prior, it is an infamous place for golfing, and had the character really been a die-hard for the sport, they would have realised it without problem. Secondly, the character you play from the start to the end of the boss fight compared to when you wake up seem to have differing personalities. The character you have been stuck with seems to know what they're doing at all times, and gives instructions on their next move. They're stiff, rigid, and are not easily excitable even in the face of the stalking employees or a dead body. They don't seem to care much about anything at all except for an odd aversion to water, as well as wanting to kill Exuberance. What is even stranger is that the font for the character's monologue is completely different after the boss fight ends.

During the game:

After the game/ending:

The former is more messy, like it's written by hand. The latter is a plain font. This implies that something about your character has changed — the truth was that you were possessed all along, most likely by another eldritch God whom is not Exuberance, and came to the golf course to slay it. There are some allusions to you being a separate eldritch entity: Exuberance recognises you. Not the character you were playing as, but whatever that was occupying the human vessel temporarily. An eldritch God has no reason to remember or know a mere human, after all, hence explaining the second and third line of dialogue by it in the temples, as well as why when the original owner of the body wakes up, they have no recollection of what occured whatsoever, and, effectively as other players have thought - it's all chalked up to both the ordinary you and the players as 'just a dream'.

Your character also refers to themselves as "this body" whenever you enter the water as the vessel you are possessing has no swimming skills. At the very start of the game, you even get to 'choose body'. You're choosing a vessel suitable to your liking to possess. What is more evident as well is the ominous answers that you can use to respond to whatever the NPCs are saying, as well as frightening them due to the possibility even they knew you felt off. You would often hear screams drone louder and louder in the background whenever you got near to these NPCs, as they are actually dead. We 'hear' the truth from what is not directly told to us by these spirits that were trying to advise against proceeding deeper into the course.

Yet, we proceed. The enemies would have directly charged at you from the get-go instead of waiting for you to look away since the way you look at something (eyes are the windows to the soul, and I wonder what kind of thing they would see in the place of one when others look at you) since you clearly hold a certain influence over them by presence and stare alone. The undead should have nothing to fear, and yet even they practice caution against something that reminds them of their patron God. Another reason I believe you're being possessed is because the font you have always used in the game feels handwritten, the same way Exuberance's font is more cursive and messy. Clearly, you are a deity by some means, just a different kind with different intentions; some intentions that are left unanswered even after finishing the game.

Just what exactly does all of this writing amount to?

The Final Story: An expansive golf course known as the Green Canyon Golf Club opens up in 1982 after being renovated from its previously barren state. It was founded on a large island, featuring a diverse, challenging number of holes for people to enjoy while they traverse the canyon's scenery. In order to maintain the green and natural state of the course, Green Canyon managers hired a company known as Greener Grass to assist them. Greener Grass co. appeared to be a rather new company, having only few reviews, but an eye catching advertisement and specialises in the lawn keeping for large, remote areas, which seemed to fit the canyon's liking and geographic description. The hired company set to work, transplanting in gorgeous trees supposedly from Europe, as well as using their own brand of soil to allow the environment of the course to prosper. The environment was clearly well tended to, with the course even forbidding golf carts due to how sensitive and delicate the fields were, as well as advising golfers to not hit their balls into the trees as native birds nested there. Despite these rules, the course was fairly prestigious, its popularity captured in several sports magazines.

What was unknown to the club, however, was that this lawnscape company they hired was actually a cult, and the permission to freely introduce foreign flora to the land had been with the company's intention to bring in anchors tied to the God they made contact with, Exuberance. Through the golf course and perhaps other places not mentioned, Exuberance had been steadily increasing its influence over the human world as it received more and more sacrifices thanks to its formidable cult. The cult worked in a caddyshack on the golf course, and would lure in members of the golfing club with normal statements of refreshments available, only to offer them up as sacrifices to the altars of the temple. The sacrificed bodies were then burned and made into the materials the Greener Grass front used to maintain the lush landscapes. Countless rinse and repeat sessions of bloodshed later, Exuberance required just one more body still to cross over to the human world and, from there, become unstoppable with the fact that its associating flora were planted everywhere by the cult by then.

But the violent rituals of the Greener Grass cult had resulted in innocent souls trapped on the grounds of the course and realm in-between worlds. The souls screamed in their fate of immortalised anguish, and eventually this unbearable abundance of noise roused the deity of the human world from its previous state of inaction. Exuberance is a source of insolence, believing it could attempt to compete with Us for the world we looked after. Something must come out of this. The problem was that Exuberance's realm was closed off, difficult to penetrate without proper mobility. A plan was thus hatched: possess a suitable vessel to appear human in order to get closer to the home of the enemy. It risked vulnerability as the human body was fragile and had a mind occupying it already, but that doesn't matter when casting a heavy filter of obsession with the sport would properly motivate them to do the bidding. This different deity knows that Green Canyon Golf Club had been discreetly converted to a massive ritual ground at this point, and playing by the rules of the world of golf, even if tedious, was necessary to reaching the gateway and destroy the anchors tied to Exuberance.

You play the role of a victim as the undead start to stalk from behind, but something was off about this sacrifice, and the employees take turns reporting back to their God of this issue. Exuberance believed the disguise of a human, not being aware of what laid hidden under the layers of blood and bones. You finish the 12th hole, enter the caddyshack, and find yourself where you wanted to be: on the turf of the enemy's temples. Staying in the light was vital to survival here, and as fresh blood collects in the basin of the altar from a previous sacrifice, the innocence of a stolen life had purified to form a glowing orb. An orb that lights up like a star in the dreary landscape, taking the filth of flesh as it goes. By the time Exuberance had realised the scheme of a trojan horse, you had already successfully killed the trees, and all that was left was to kill Exuberance itself. With each swing, you take out pieces of the God, releasing the souls into the surroundings.

The fight ends with a clear victor, and you wake up outside of the golf club with no recollection of any of this. The deity possessing your vessel had relinquished control, allowing you to continue your life as normal. What occurs after then is unclear, as the advertisement sings its jingle, and we get to see the spine of a book inscribed with strange symbols on the right as the game ends with the sound of a closing door.

TLDR; Local grass cult goes overboard with human sacrifice rituals, acidentally summons worse eldritch being to kill their patron deity just so it would shut up. Happy golfing!

[thedenofravenpuff]

Back from the movies and had a great time! The kiosk clerk so kind to hand me their last extra poster for the FNAF movie cuz I asked nicely!

I purposely only watched the first trailer, and only once, and after that made sure to avoid and ignore anything else mentioning the movie. Cuz I saw how quick people were to start dissecting the trailers and theorize and build up crazy expectations. Those people can only get disappointed the more they expect out of one movie meant to invite new people into the fold of an entire franchise that's been running wild for years.

I went there with no expectations and had an absolute blast. To me, this is a perfect homage to the basics of the FNAF lore and setup for the casual fan and outsider giving it a chance.

Is it perfect as a movie? Pfh, nah, perfectionism for movie expectations will always be unrealistic. Plenty of lore was Frankensteined in a bit messily just for the sake of referencing and using what they had. But that's like reading the books. Don't expect 1:1 accuracy on anything, not even between games!

But I very much enjoyed it. It felt true to the vibes we usually get in the books and lore bits from the games. It was a great job done putting a story together best they could based on the lore and ideas behind FNAF. We all know what a mess the lore is. And I absolutely loved the practical effects, really beautifully done! Had a few good laughs and chuckles, plenty of scenes where I just sat with a big goofy grin being a pleased fan from what they gave us. Plenty of jumpscares and creepy scenes too, without overdoing it. I'm not very good with horrors, but this one just felt nicely balanced and I would love to watch it again!

Enjoyable, solid 8/10 as a casual fan just here having a great time!

[pb-loves-owls]

thinking abt how to get gil and harvey in the old hexsquad shenanigans without uprooting them or putting them conveniently into a dangerous situation but im afraid they’re just gonna have to be put into a dangerous situation

was trying to find info about st epiderm and saw a crew-story about sword magic

maybe it could be one of the many adventures outside of bonesborough?

they all go up the knee for Odalia’s birthday party and naturally, she and alador are fighting. They’ve been fighting the whole way there and it’s making everyone miserable and awkward. most of them didn’t even wanna come but got dragged up by Darius who didnt wanna be alone with them and the other populars (he got a taste of non-toxic friendships and now he’s having a tough time).

Odalia’s is being a jerk so she practically forces everyone who weren’t specifically her friends to sleep in the same room. which… tbh would be kinda fair if it’s something she needed to book in advance. buut she didn’t and it’s her family’s vacation home with a bajillion rooms. enough for everyone and their guardians to have their own room.

so Lily, Eda, and Raine are basically roomies. which is still fine for them since the room itself is huge anyway, and the bed is so big it could fit five.

Eda wants to go have an adventure. since Raine used to live up there, they offer to give the squad a rundown of all the local lore. They didn’t really think anyone would wanna act on it since the magic up on the knee is so much more potent and the beasts are more dangerous. so they tell them about the secret stacks of St. Ep’s library and how it’s said that in there holds secrets of magic that are so ancient and so dangerous that not even the bravest of wild witches dare try.

so obviously, Eda wants to learn it.

Lilith tries to talk her out of it but is p much ignored after Raine says they have a man in the inside who would sneak his bf in all the time.

Man of course is Gilbert, who coincidentally is accompanied with Harvey who claims they’re just friends who sometimes hold hands and cuddle.

This’ll be before Eda and Raine start dating too.

Raine is all “really dude”

and Eda replies with “hey, we do that all the time and we’re best friends too!”

Darius does a check in with Raine to check if they’re good. Eda has no idea why they’re taking so long to follow, so she checks back, and sees them laughing with each other. basically she thinks she’s about to lose her best friend.

some time after finding the secret stacks entrance and entering it, the squad accidentally unleash an eldritch horror onto the school and have to slay it before anybody catches them.

cue barging into Gil’s room for that classic “walking in on an almost kiss” scene

Eda goes “woah what’re you doing?” “dude obviously they were about to ki—”

and then Harvey yells “KICKBOX”. pause for effect. then he gets kicked by Gilbert, who is done with the games, and asks what they’re doing in his room. Cue the low guttural growl of the monster.

After running a lot, the squad makes it outside, but Raine gets cornered by the monster. This triggers the owl beast, which turns out is now bigger than the monster. by a lot.

It eats the monster.

but now Raine is confronted with the Owl Beast. Lilith is trying to stop everyone from hurting Eda, but all anyone sees is the beast. Lilith is crying and apologizing to Eda.

but Raine isn’t all that scared. They know Eda and they know she wouldn’t hurt them if she knew what was going on. She was just afraid. using bard magic, they place a calming effect on her and talk her back down. Eda is exhausted to say the least.

In the end, Harvey apologizes to Gil and says that he was just afraid of them not being friends anymore if they start dating. Gil disuades those fears by saying that the reason he likes him so much is because they’re such good friends. and that as long as they communicate, they’ll always be friends first. they agree to go slow. Gilbert tells Raine that they’re welcome anytime but to maybe keep it chill next time.

while everyone is walking back, Eda stops Raine to talk to them. she thanks them for not attacking her or letting people attack her, to which they reply that she should thank Lily for the latter. as for the former, they could never be scared of her. because they’ve seen what a huge dork she is.

Eda still looks down in the dumps though, prompting Raine to ask what’s up. like. Is it the part where she almost attacked them because they can hold her off on their own too. then Eda tells them that she saw how close they and Darius have been getting. and they and Lilith, and Alador, and that she’s just afraid that they’re seeing she’s not all that cool of a person to hang out with.

Raine throws a snowball at her and tells her to stop talking about their best friend like that. They didn’t have many friends at St. Eps. Even Gilbert was a lot more social and didn’t actually hang out with them all that much. Not that they minded. but Eda was the first person ever that they felt really connected with. “you’re special to me, okay? nobody else comes close.”

they give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her to hurry up because everyone else is probably back at Odalia’s family manor already.

When they turn around to catch up to everyone, they don’t see Eda blushing all “oh no I have a crush”.

[lewdanimevsirl]

Musashi: Fallen Swordswoman

WARNING:This story is a work of fiction and contains many mature elements. Please do not continue if you are unable to handle such content. NOTE: This is a continuation from that messed up fanfiction that I wrote, but you do not need to read it to understand the context. This can be read by itself. The characters in this story are based on their depiction in Fate Grand Order which is developed by Delightworks and based on Type-Moon’s Fate franchise. I am not a lore expert, thus some terms and information used may be inaccurate. Sorry for any weird English or grammatical mistakes.

Previously…

It was summer and everyone was enjoying themselves at the beach. I was supposed to be out there having fun and I even had something planned with Jeanne. But I ended up stuck in a room, having to help Jalter with her work. After finishing with her work, I headed out to look for Jeanne, as she had promised me to introduce me to her dolphin, Reece. I eventually found out that the sweet and innocent looking Jeanne was just a façade. I could not believe my eyes from what I have seen. I lifelessly walked away from the horror that was before me. I want to erase that out of my mind…

Now

Loud cheers and noise could be heard throughout the beach. All the Servants are out on the beach, enjoying themselves, having fun, oblivious to the horror that I have just witnessed. “Master, join us!! Master, what’s wrong?” Many of the Servants called out to me, trying to invite me to join them in their games. But I just could not hear them. I could not process any more information. I lifelessly continued walking back to the resort, ignoring all the Servants. Was the beach this big? Why is the walk back this long? After what felt like an eternity, I finally made it back to the Chaldea holiday resort. The resort was established as a rest-stop for Servants to take a break during the summer. Now, it felt like a quiet place where I can just drink my sorrows away and forget everything I have seen. Due to most of the Servants being out at the beach enjoying themselves, I managed to take a mini-fridge full of beer back to my room without any major interruption. I planned to drink all my sorrows away. I planned to get so drunk that I will erase that image out of my mind.

Back at the Beach

“Is Master alright? He ignored all of us…” “He looked like a zombie, do you think he was overworked by Jalter?” “Hey, stop reminding me of work!!” Noticing my zombie-like appearance, many of the Servants began to gather around to discuss what has happened to me “Do you think there is anything we can do? Musashi, what do you think? Did you notice anything?” Being the last person I spoke to, Musashi was shocked by the drastic change. She could not believe her eyes that the energetic and carefree Master that greeted her a few minutes ago has turned into a lifeless zombie. “I… really don’t know… But… I don’t think… it is… anything… I said…” Musashi tried to figure out what had happened to me. “But… I will find a way to cheer Master up!! Especially since I was the last person he spoke to. I don’t think it is my fault, but I have the responsibility to cheer him up!” Musashi ensured the other Servants that she will try to cheer me up, before making her way towards the Chaldea holiday resort. “What should I do? I know… When I am down, Master always cooks for me a bowl of udon. I should cook him a bowl, maybe he will cheer up…”

In my room

“Why!!! Jeanne!!! Why!!!” I was sobbing in a corner while downing cans of beer to drink away all my pain and sorrow. Empty cans of beer littered around the room. It was said that being drunk would let you forget all your pain and suffering. But no matter how much I drank, I could not get drunk. No matter how much I drank, I just could not forget about it. Suddenly, the door to my room opened and I was blinded by the bright light radiating from the outside corridor. A silhouette appeared at the door, blocking the bright light. As the silhouette entered the room, the door closed, returning the room into complete darkness. “Come on Master!! Just look at yourself, you are barely functioning. I have something for you… Here, have some freshly made udon!!” The lights to my room flickered on, and the silhouette was revealed to be Miyamoto Musashi in her Berserker-Swimsuit form. She was donning her Stars and Stripes bikini complemented with her red and blue shrug. “I don’t know what you had been through but look at this mess!!” Musashi placed the bowl of udon on the desk before proceeding to clear the empty beer cans that littered around my room. “Master, go and have some udon while I clear this up. You will feel better once you eat it…” I sheepishly smiled at her words. Come on, Musashi, not everyone is like you. If udon can solve everything, then we don’t need to do all fighting anymore. We could just gather around and eat udon… But I will give her props for trying to cheer me up. Even though udon will not solve what I just been through, at least it would mean something to her… I fumbled my way up and slowly made my way towards the desk. Whether it was the alcohol kicking in or just pure coincidence, I will never know, but as I slowly made my way, I accidentally tripped on one of the empty can that was littered around the floor. “Bang!!!” “Uhm… Master… Can you get off me?” Instead of banging headfirst into the cold hard floor, I landed on the soft back of Musashi. Was her skin this soft and tender. Did she ever smell this nice? I don’t know whether it was the effect of the alcohol or my pent-up emotional stress or both, but Musashi was looking irresistible. Her warm body feels so enticing.

“Come on Master! Stop playing around, the udon is getting… Hahhh!!” With each passing moment, I was gradually taken over by lust. I knew I should not do this to the female Servants, but I could not control myself any longer. I gave in to the temptation and embraced Musashi in a tight hug, catching her by surprise. Without giving her any time to react, I slide my hands into her bikini top, around her beautiful curvaceous breasts and began to play with her nipples. “Hyahh… Master… please… Ahhh… stop… Argh…” Musashi tried to get me to stop, but with each moan she made, I grew even more horny. I quicken the assault on her breasts and her erected nipples and start to nibble all over her neck. Gradually, Musashi’s body began to relax and gave in to all the pleasure that she was experiencing. Seeing that she had relaxed, I took the opportunity and removed the shrug and the bikini top that were covering her beautiful assets. Turning her over, I was taken back by the mesmerising figure that was in front of her. Her irresistible breasts were a sight to behold. “Stop… Master… I am… shy about this…” Musashi tried to cover her breasts with her hands, but her blushing face just made me even more horny. She had awakened something in me. A desire of lust. I pounded onto her and pinned my lips onto hers. Initially, Musashi was taken back by the kiss, but soon she returned it passionately. Our tongues began to fight for dominance in each other mouth. Of course, my hands also wanted some of the action. As I continued kissing the beauty lying underneath me, my hands started roaming around her exposed breasts and began marking every curve with their fingerprints. Whenever I flicked past her nipples, an erotic moan could be heard emitting from Musashi’s mouth. Gradually, she gave in to her own desires and her hands started hugging around me as we lied on the floor, kissing like long-lost lovers. “Musashi?” I stopped kissing her and stared into her beautiful eyes. Musashi was taken back by the question. I can feel she wanted to continue our passionate kissing session. “I feel… we should… proceed… to the next stage…” “What… is the… Hyahhh!!!” Before Musashi could clarify what I meant, I had already slid my left hand into her bikini bottom and began caressing her nether regions. It was unbelievably wet. As my left fingers entered her pussy, Musashi started to resume her moaning. “How are you this wet?!? You are such a dirty woman!!” “Ahhh… I… am… Arghhh… not… dirty… Hahhh… I… just… never… Aaahh… this… much… Huahhh… before…” “I bet you use your swords to pleasure yourself every night” I continued to tease Musashi while fingering her and kissing all over her breasts. My left fingers scraped the walls of her tunnel and played with her clit, while my right hand continued to explore her body. “… No… Arghh… swords… Hhaah… are… Ahhh… for… fighting… “ Musashi squirmed and moaned underneath me as I continued my assault on both her nipples and her pussy. The strong warrior that had accompanied me in my daily missions had become a horny woman, losing herself to all the stimulation her body was receiving from my hands and mouth. “… … Master… I…” Before long, I could feel a wave of fluid gushing out of her pussy, covering my left fingers with her sticky substances. As Musashi lied breathless on the floor, panting from her first organsm, I slowly took off her drenched bikini bottom to reveal her wet, but beautiful vulva. “… Master… don’t… look… it’s… Hyahhh!!” Musashi tried to cover her nether regions with her hands, but I easily swept them aside. I lowered my head near her pussy and started licking her. Her wet pussy tasted like a sweet drug that I could not stop devouring. “AHhhh… don’t… Hyahh… lick… Arghhhh… it… is… dirty…” “No, it is not!!” I continued to lick her while my hands roamed and played with her beautiful cleavage. “You taste delicious, do you want to try it…” I stop my oral assault in her pussy and proceeded back to kissing her lips that were screaming for action. With all the pleasure she was

experiencing, Musashi gradually returned to a state of heat. “Musashi, how do you taste?” I stopped my kiss and caressed the face of the beautiful woman that was drunk on her own pleasure. “… I… taste… beautifully…” “Then shall we continue with the main course?” At this point, lust has completely taken over my mind and I wanted nothing more than to fuck the bewitching piece of art that was lying in front of me. I took off my clothes and my undergarments and revealed my cock to Musashi. “… Master… wait… what’s…” The Musashi that accompanied on the field would be brave and resolute, but right now, she was acting like a shy girl, blushing, and covering her eyes, trying to avoid the sight of my penis. I slowly lowered my rod near her enticing pussy and started rubbing it along her vaginal entrance. How I love to just ram it into her, but I want her to enjoy it. I want her to enjoy every moment, every inch, every movement I made. Erotic moans began to emit from Musashi’s mouth with every rub I made along her wet pussy. I could feel her body slowly relaxing and succumbing to her sexual desires. “… Arghhhh… Master… Hahhhh… please… stop… teasing… Hyahh… just… Ahhh… do… it…” “I can’t hear you through your erotic moans… do what? Can you repeat it loud and clear?” Ignoring Musashi’s pleas, I continued rubbing my penis along her entrance. At this point, all forms of reasoning had evaporated from my mind. I only seek to fulfil my own sexual desires. “… Master… Ahhhh… please… put… Hyahhh… it… in…” “Put what in?” “… Put… Ahhh… your… cock… Hyahhhh… into… my… Hahhhh… pussy… Ahhh… please… fuck… me…” Whether she uttered those words consciously or do so due to her subconscious desires, as soon as I heard the strong Musashi said out those words, I positioned my cock and started to insert it into her pussy. Even though her wet pussy was well-lubricated from all her fluids, I can feel that Musashi was taken back by the initial pain that came from my cock stretching her tunnel. I had deflowered the Flower of Tengen. Ignoring her squirms, I gave her a passionate kiss on her lips to distract her from the pain. Slowly, her body began to relax and gave in to the pleasure. With every movement I made, with every inch I inserted into her, loud erotic moans could be heard from her. I could not control myself any longer. I readied my cock and began to thrust it into Musashi. With each thrust I made, moans and shrieks could be heard coming from the horny girl’s mouth. Thanks goodness the walls of the room are soundproof, otherwise every soul in the building could hear her loud moans. “… Master… I…” Before I could react, Musashi wrapped her arms and legs around me and gave me a passionate kiss. All our moans were silenced by the passionate kiss we were having. Before long, I felt her tunnel tighten up on my cock. A wave of fluid could soon be felt enveloping my cock as Musashi succumbed to her orgasmic pleasure. As my cock became covered by her fluids, I also found myself at my limit. Hugging Musashi tightly, I could feel my penis hardening and releasing a wave of cum into her tunnel. Thanks goodness Servants do not carry the risk of STDs and can’t be impregnated. As our bodies relaxed from our intense ejaculation, I slowly broke away from our kiss and withdrawed my cock out of her pussy. Drips of fluid could be seen lingering on my cock and dripping out of her pussy. We lied on floor panting, our naked bodies on each other, covered with each other sweat and bodily fluids. “… Musashi… how was it?” “… … It was… nothing… I had… ever… experienced…” “… Don’t you think… I should… get a… reward… in return…” “… …” Musashi looked at me puzzledly, confused by what I have just said. Seeing her confused face, I slowly stood up and positioned my penis near her face. “… Since… I licked you… maybe… you can�� clean… me… off…” “… Alright…” Musashi positioned herself and kneeled in front of me such that her face was millimetres away from my cock. She sticked out her tongue and start to lick my flaccid cock clean. As I gazed

at the beautiful Musashi licking my penis, I started to feel aroused and horny again. “…Uhm… Master…” Musashi was taken by back by my erected penis. “He became hard again because of you, Musashi…” “Because of me?” “Yes… because of your seductive body… maybe you should take responsibility for this…” Musashi brightened up as soon as I mentioned it was her body that made my cock hard. She continued licking my fully erected penis before putting the whole cock into her petite mouth. Musashi, renowned as the strongest swordswoman in Japan, is giving me a blowjob in my own room. Even though the feeling of my penis in her mouth feels different when it was in her vagina, it felt so good, so pleasurable. I instinctively placed my hands on her hair and started to bobbed her head back and forth. As I aggressively deep-throated the swordswoman, I felt my penis hardening from all her licking and sucking. “… Musashi… I am cumming…” Loads of cum erupted from my cock into her mouth. As I removed my cock from her mouth, semen could be seen dripping from my cock and her mouth. Before I could apologise to Musashi for ejaculating into her mouth without permission, she sat there like a seductive slut and began to swallow all my fluid. I always thought heart-shaped pupils were a work of fiction, but if I could describe the scene before me, I would say Musashi had been completely taken over by lust. Her eyes were full of sexual desires. “… Master… I am wet again… Is your cock hard again… please fuck Musashi again…” The woman who appeared in front of me was not the brave swordswoman that fought countless beasts. She was a lewd slut who just want to be fucked. Like any horny person, as soon as I heard those words, my penis immediately became erect again. I lifted Musashi from the ground and threw her body first onto my bed. The naked and erotic Musashi was on my bed, her voluptuous ass tempting me with her every sway. I could not resist it anymore. Once again, I positioned my cock at her entrance. Instead of slowly teasing her like before, I immediately thrust it in and pounded her from behind. Her well-lubricated pussy and my fluid-coated cock made each thrust smooth and effortless. With each thrust, erotic moans could be heard coming from her mouth, filling the room. “… Arghhhh… Hyahhh… Ahhhh…” “… You should… look at yourself… you are… such a… slut!!” “… Yes… Argh… Musashi… is a… slut… Hahhh…” “… Whose slut… are you?” “… Hahhh… Musashi… is… Ahhhh… Master’s personal… cum… dump… Hyahhh… slut…” Hearing those dirty words coming out from the once strong-willed Musashi made me even more aroused and horny. I quicken my thrusts into her, which in turn cause her to erupt into more moans and shrieks. I hugged Musashi’s erotic body and leaned in for a passionate kiss. As we embraced each other, I felt her vaginal walls tightening on my cock. I knew she was near her limit. As I expected, fluids began gushing out of her. As my cock become covered with her fluid again, I felt my penis hardening. I was near my limit as well. However instead of cumming into her pussy, I decided to try something new. Taking Musashi by surprise, I pulled out my cock from her wet pussy and turned her body around. I positioned my cock towards her body and immediately after, a barrage of semen shot out of my penis and sprayed across her seductive body, her beautiful breasts and her lewd face. After my third ejaculation, I fall on the fluid-covered Musashi, trying to catch my breath while reflecting on everything that has happened. I could not believe I just did all of that. As I rested on Musashi, distracted by my own thoughts, I was taken back by a sloppy kiss. The lewd girl has returned to a state of arousal and wanted more… “… Master…please… fuck.. me… again…” The once strong and resolute warrior had been defiled into a slutty girl addicted to sex. I am so glad Chaldea demanded all personnel to train on their personal fitness, otherwise I definitely would not be able to keep up with the sex-craved demon lying next to me. I willingly

gave myself to Musashi’s temptation and began to ravage her again. The room was soon filled with loud moans and shrieks of pleasure.

The next day “… …” I groggily opened my eyes. I could feel a splitting headache and my groin regions were aching badly. “… What… happened…” I looked around and tried to piece everything together. A sleeping beauty Musashi was lying naked beside me. My bed was in a complete mess. The floor was littered with beer cans, and there was a pile of what appeared to be some of my clothing and Musashi’s bikini at the side. There was also a bowl of udon on my desk. “… Oh…” I start to recall what had happened the previous day. What I had saw. Why Musashi was here. I also remembered how we fucked each other. How we tried different sex positions, How we explored each other body. Even though I did not taste your handmade udon, I tasted something even better. Thank you Musashi!!!

Epilogue

At the beach “Master!!! You looked much better today!!” I was chilling at a seaside bar enjoying the warm sun and the sea breeze when I was interrupted by some Servants that came to check up on me. “Thank you for your concern. I was having a bad day, but Musashi cheered me up!!” “Speaking of Musashi, where did that girl go? She promised us we will join us for the watermelon-breaking competition today. Did she get distracted by udon again…” “You know that girl, always having a craving for udon… Or maybe, she found something better than udon…” “Not a chance… it is going to take a miracle for that girl to something other than udon on her mind.” The Servants laughed at what they assumed was my joke. I smiled and wished them luck on their search for Musashi and for their competition. As they walked away, I petted the lewd girl that was sitting below me hidden away from their eyes. My personal “cum dump slut” Musashi was busy licking my cock like her new favourite food. “… So Musashi… did you find anything better than udon?” “Yes!!! Master’s cock is better than udon!!” I smiled and petted her hair with approval. A day ago, she was Musashi, brave swordswoman. Now she had became Musashi, sex slut. Maybe the only way to forget about what I had experienced was through sex. Maybe the only way to convince Jeanne of the errors of her ways was to fuck her, to let her experience what Musashi had gone through… End.

Author’s Notes:

You can put someone into horny jail, but you cannot take the horny out of him/her. So, yep, second fanfiction I have written. Don’t judge me ok, I am just writing my horny away. How do NSFW artists even get the inspiration and energy to pump out those works? Before someone come out and point out how unrealistic this is (and ask me to go outside), firstly, this is a work of fiction. It is not meant to be realistic. And secondly, I know I am projecting some of my kinks and fetishes onto this piece of writing. But aren't all doujin artists and writers just projecting their own kinks? For those who had read my first work, firstly thank you for supporting this horny degenerate, secondly, I know it was messed up. Fortunately, I doubt I will ever venture into that weird territory ever again. All subsequent works should be as straightforward as this. (Well, this isn’t that vanilla but you get the point). And lastly, like my previous work, I was inspired to write this based on a art/meme. This time it is a NSFW Musashi art that I saw on Reddit. So blame the original artist, karakari, and the translator, posted by u/hades334, for this thing (both will be down in the references) As usual, please give some feedback and of course, you are always welcome to create fan art based on this (I know some of you horny artists are reading this). And if there is a talented or experienced doujin artists reading this, you are always welcomed to make a doujin based on this. I would love to see the type of degenerate content people might create.

References:

applekun [@applekun]. (2021, July 11). 水着武蔵ちゃん. [Art]. Pixiv.

FGOcomics [hades334]. (2021, April 20). Musashi's New Favourite [karakaritouge] [Online forum post]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/FGOcomics/comments/mud096/musashis_new_favourite_karakaritouge/

Karakari [@からかり]. (2020, September 17). もちもちむさしちゃん. [Art]. Pixiv.

Miyamoto Musashi (Female). (2021, July 10). In TYPE-MOON Wiki. https://typemoon.fandom.com/wiki/Miyamoto_Musashi_(Female)?oldid=206464

Unfairr [@unfairr]. (2021, July 13). catalyst. [Art]. Pixiv.

[shortyisweird9]

'Lonely ghost serie'

Proposition and Accord-part VII

"Ghoooost! Good noon!"

"Hello!"

You opened your eyes slowly, barely awake from the deep sleep you had. The grogginess in your voice shadowed by the abnormal deepness of the voice changer.

"Hey, ghost."

"Corpse! Always pleased to hear you."

"Always ,ey?" Toast picked what you said in a more suggestive tone, teasing you with it.

"Cut it ,man."

You didn't bite on the trap however.

" Anyway, mind if I bring a friend?"

"Of course!"

"Sure why not."

"Okay,brb."

"So ,Corpse..."

"To early for that ,Toast."

Near the white astronaut Ghost had, a new little one came. It was black with a pair of headphones and a Wall-e companion. On top the name Charon was displayed.

The others started circling the new mate as Corpse's pink character stood unmoved by your side.

"Good evening!" A low and mature voice came from a woman. It didn't had a mechanical effect to it so it was coming in naturally.

"Hiiiii!"

"Hello!"

"Guys this is Andreea, Andreea this is the Peanut gallery."

"Ha,nice. Good to meet you all."

"Likewise."

"You too."

"Your robot is cute." Corpse remarked.

You smirked when your phone immediately lighted up. A message from Andreea written in big bold letters: 'HIS VOICE IS HOT!'

'I know :)))'

"Andreea , you know how to play this game?"

"Y-Yeah ummm..."

"Sykkuno."

"Sykkuno! Yeah, I know me and Y- I mean ghost sometimes play it. "

"You play together?"

"Well yeah, we play Fallout together, sometimes Minecraft even Eyes the horror game. Speaking of which ghost?"

"Yeah?"

"My place tonight?"

You smirked knowing what's to come.

"Time to corrupt another soul?"

You laughed was intentionally made to be interpreted by the others as evil and dark. In the inside you cringed, you sounded so stupid.

"Umm,guys?" Sykkuno asked for clarification, to which he will not receive.

"YOU GUYS LIVE IN THE SAME CITY?" Pooki asked all excited for some reason.

"Yeah?"

"Same city? We leave in the same apartment building." Andreea told ,a pleasant hiss rang as her long nailed hands opened a Pepsi can.

'Cola is better'

'Fuck off, Y/n'

':))🖕'

"That's so cute!"

"I guess,but she's a pain."

"A pain? Moi? Please, I am only in pain not one."

The others chuckled at your shenanigans, the humour between you and Andreea being based in play fighting, cursing each other and bumping as hard as you can into each. Considering how much of a height difference is between you two, everything just gets more interesting.

"Maan,I want to stay in the same building with you guys also." Corpse pouted.

You two sounded really nice to be with, especially you. You were fun to talk witg and your natural voice was a godsend to his anxiety and insomnia. It made him sometimes slip into a blissful sleep,especially when you began reading to him Doom lore in the late hours of the night.

' "The Maykrs' need for the Essence is prime. Without it they must suffer the monstrous fate of Transfiguration, and see their wisdom and faculties slither from their twisted forms. By bidding of the Khan Maykr herself, the Order of the Deag has devised a method to improve and accelerate the production of the Hell aura. What once took eons for the savage beasts to attai...oof. Wait."

Corpse heard you move in the bed, your body getting its pressure off it before settling back in.

He wanted to start to ask you to read again when he was interrupted by the sound of smooching ? You were kissing somebody?

You puffed and smiled as Sergiu bombarded you with another waves of kisses, a tradition in your group. You all were touched starved creatures so you showed your platonic affections through hand holding, sudden hugging, cuddling- sometimes propping your cold feet on the other person's back just to be dickish- and rains of kisses.

Sergiu was the most affectionate out of all of you, the rain of kisses being something that his mother used to do before she left to work. 'A kiss on the forehead to brighten your thinking, two on the cheeks so no one is lonely and one wherever you want.'

"Alright! Alright! I get it, you are leaving!"

You laughed as you pushed the cuddly golden retriver of a man away.

His chains attached to his black leather belt with grey 3d rombes running all over it clicked as it bounced. His hair smudged on the worn out black leather jacket and his face all but a smile. He was happy and you love to see it.

-Vrei ceva? ("You want something?")

-Umm...PIZZA PĂTRATĂ DE LA DEDEMAN ȘI MOUNTAIN DEW.("Um...SQUARE SHAPED PIZZA FROM DEDEMAN AND MOUNTAIN DEW.")

The man laughed at your antics, roughing up your freshly washed hair and closing the door as he left.

"Corpse? You still there buddy?"

Corpse felt a pang in his chest, you sounded like you have much more fun with the other person. He knew it was stupid but he couldn't help feel jealous and worried at the same time. He wanted to be the reason to make you sound so happy and he didn't want to be worried of being replaced anytime soon.

"Corpse? My petit orchid? Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah,I am fine."

It came out shaky and too abrupt for your liking. Something's wrong and you didn't want to overstep your boundaries but you couldn't let him go about his day while having something munching on his good mood.

"Hey,hey Corpse."

"Yes?"

"Wanna see my cat?"

"YOU HAVE A CAT?"

"Yes,so do you..."

"Hell yeah. I mean...sure I am cool with that."

You shook your head and became giggling, it's good to know you weren't the only one who didn't know how to cover their slip ups.'

"Trust me Corpse. You don't want to live with this anxiety filled owl."

"HEY! My anxiety adds spice."

"Oh my god!"

"Guys, guys. Can we start the game please?"

"Oh for sure."

————————————————————

"Watch out for the wall, ghost. Watch out for--GHOST! Oh shit ,I lost her guys! Ghost, where are you?"

His character ran in desperate search to find you. When it left the snowy environment from outside , it stopped abruptly. You were there in the office with Sykkuno ripped apart body in front of you.

"Oh shit! Sykkuno!"

His thoughts ran wilde as they hurried to reach a consensus. He knew that you will probably kill him also as you waited for those 10 seconds to pass.

His premonition was proven true went you shut the doors of the office , your character moving slowly towards him.

"Ahhh! Guys ,what the hell do I do?"

His eyes clenched shut as his finger hovered the report button.

The sound of a meeting went off,forcing him to let out the breath he's been withholding. His hands shook as he relaxed himself when his friends started discussing aka screaming at each other.

Someone else called in another body.

You held your fingernails between your lips, leg bouncing from the nerves. You knew Corpse will snitch you out,after all you did killed Sykkuno.

I am so fucked...

Your body covered in a white and black hoodie contorted itself into a smaller position.You ignored the pain that your dead thighs were trying to emit while being in a cross position. Head to busy with anxious thoughts of what Corpse may do.

"Phew, Jesus. I am too nervous for this game."

Andreea's words caught you off guard. She nervous? It's more likely than you think.

Your feelings long forgotten as your protective nature sprung out of the shell.

"You? Nervous? Andreea you are a freaking talented tattoo artist."

"It doesn't matter, my hands are sweating like they are the Danube river."

"Wait ,are you a tattoo artist?"

"Yeah ,I am. I started tatto--"

Mission accomplished! Your goal wasn't to comfort, you knew you sucked at that but to distract. To take her mind away from whatever cause her pain ,then to secretly totally not obviously attack the shit of whatever upset her even bad vibes. Fuck them bad vibes! You and your friends are bad bitches not second hand embarrassments.

"It will be nice if I could do henna also but this hoarding gremlin was only calm enough when she did them. So basically it became her summer job."

Ah. Your mind realised she was telling them how you two met.

You wanted to get some henna tattoos, see if you liked the way the look at you. Andrea was just a beginner when you entered the tattoo shop and her life.

You weren't always an anxious person,the situation changed when your math teacher decided to be a bitch and humiliate you for not knowing geometry. Since then you were always out of breath when you spoke in public, always bouncing your leg when stressed , biting off your nails and having a constant dread when it came socialising with others. And when you are a big girl that amplifies considerably.

People are just shallow like that and you learned a long time ago that their intolerance towards you was a THEY problem rather than a YOU problem.

It's hard thought, sometimes their words and disgusted glares burn you from inside out. Make you feel inhuman ,that your anger,sadness and your passion don't mean anything ,that they are not valid, that you cannot be yourself and liked at the same time nevermind seen as a romantic interest.

But I digress, when it came with Andreea ,everything when abnormally smooth, you joked and laughed, bitch about people and so on. You hit off immediately.

So when you wanted to make a bit of cash ,Andreea didn't hesitate to teach you how to do temporary tattooing.

"That's so nice guys,the body was in specimen room by the way." Dave said.

The others for some reason started blaming Rae , you didn't said nothing as you were still waiting with your breath tight for Corpse to rat you out.

"Corpse? Where were you by the way?"

Here comes the expose.

"I ..uh...wait. I was in the storage then I met Sykkuno in the office but left with ghost."

What?

"Ghost? Can you collaborate his story?"

"Yeah , me and him left Sykkuno. I think orange was with him last time we saw. I am done with my tasks by the way."

"What?"

"LUDWIG! HOW DARE YOU KILL SYKKUNO?!" Corpse growled.

You muted yourself as you squealed. You couldn't believe him. He really took your side!

You took a sip of your green tea, patting yourself on the back for being calm and getting back in the game.

————————————————————

"How could you ,Corpse? I trusted you and you stab me behind my back." Sykkuno exclaimed, pout evident in his voice.

"I am sorry Sykkuno..i-it's just...I...uhh.."

Your microphone was not muted this time so when you burst in laughter you dominated the whole discussion. You laughed ugly but happy as you always did, holding your lower abdomen as it clenched muscle you didn't know you have.

"It's NOT funny, ghost!"

"It'S nOt FuNnY, GhOsT! Bwahaha..."

Despite laughing ,deep down you worried you may have offended your new friends? Nah, too early to call them that.

"I think I know why Corpse did what he did." Grease started in a dramatic sober voice.

"You mean cheated on Sykkuno."

Ludwig ignited couple of laughter from the group.

"Yeah. He did it....drumb rolls please. "

Sean provided the suspenseful roll.

"Because he is a SIMP."

"WHAT?"

"No way..."

"You heard me."

The group went wilde. You didn't know what you could say, your mind crazy yet also numb. Poor Corpse.

"Hey, hey. Guys, please calm down. If you want to come for someone, come for my neck."

Your hands flared up into a peaceful backing sign, you knew of Corpse's bad anxiety and you didn't want to cause him distress by bringing the limelight into his face.

"It's alright, ghost. I am a big boy, I can take it."

You tried to keep it short, you really did but your mind wanted to say one more thing.

"Just like you can open foil?"

You heard a breath intake. You lowered your volume, thinking of what he may do.

"I FUCKING HATE FOIL!"

————————————————————

"Tonight was fun." Corpse said after taking a sip of water.

"Yeah, it was."

You watched your dark hair moving in the air as you played with your toes.

"Sorry again for bringing all the...uh...attention on you."

"It's fine,ghost. I know you didn't mean it."

"Y/n."

"What?"

"My name is Y/n."

Ah!

His heart jumped a bit ,you told him your name that means you trust him right. Lily doesn't know your name so he is the first to know. The first to guard this special information.

"Ghost was kinda wearing down,you know?"

"Y-yeah,...uhh..I mean no! Yes? No? Fuck...It's a pretty name,um...Y/n."

You haulted, getting used to him saying your name will take a while.

"Heh,thanks Corpsie."

"Mhmmm, did you have time to think about what I told you?"

Couple of nights ago,Corpse proposed the idea of starting your own Youtube channel. You were hesitant.

"Corpse, I told I don't think people really like me. I think they just like the voice."

"Non sense. You watched our stream?"

"Noo...? Sorry,I didn't really have time to..."

"Hey, it's okay goofball. Anyway,they were asking more videos with you. Maybe some of them like you because of your voice but most of them like you because they like your personality, gh- Y/n."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Look you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I just feel bad for all the fans that want to talk with you or sometimes I found something funny and I want to send you or tag you. It's stupid I know."

You didn't like the sad tone of his, your heart tightened and your worries worsened.

"I think I am going to sleep. Goodnight, ghost."

"'Night,Corpse."

You were left in the darkness of your room, at the end of the bed with your long fingers reaching towards your knife, your personal fidget spinner. You chew your nail as you moved the blade unconsciously.

Corpse's account:

.ghost added you. Add them back?

————————————————————

Hey,guys!💖💖

Hope you like the seventh part of the serie. I almost went into a writing block with this one.

Anyway, have a nice day!💗💗

Tagged💖💖: @moolujk @magenta-skyline @yikesyikesyikes95 @mythicalamphitrite @yoyoanaria @simonsbluee @cherry-piee @gaysludge @softboiicorpse @heavenly3308

[thoughtsonargentdawn]

On the potential of greener pastures.

While I don’t see the need to beat the dead horse that is the incelery of Blizzard Entertainment’s treatment of women and gay men - still holding out for the claims of transphobia, don’t worry it will be there - One thing I have noticed lately is the increasing willingness of long term WoW players moving to other realms and universes of fantasy.

But the question, is it the right thing to do?

Obviously no one reasonable to advocate for you to stay playing something you find uncomfortable - that is insanity and inhuman. But, is Tamriel, Eorzea or the Galaxy Far Far Away really the type of place that the average Argent Dawn player will feel at home in? I’ve had many discussions with my fellow CoAD team friends and we all have our opinions on the matter. While we all agree that as a creative medium, we as players should reclaim World of Warcraft as something that works for us all - not all of us are particularly comfortable in remaining on the game considering what type of behaviour paying for that subscription enables. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- So first up on the list. Tamriel,the main setting of the Elder Scrolls universe. As a whole I would say the Elder Scrolls Online thematically matches many popular brands on Argent Dawn. It ticks the boxes of House/Noble Roleplay, Military, Intrigue and “Race War Now!” - all fairly popular areas of roleplay on Argent Dawn. ESO also boasts a far more vigorously designed world compared to current WoW, a considerably more consistent lore and player housing that is very generous. The downsides? There always are downsides... ESO is shackled with an insular community that much like Guild Wars 2 - another former contender to WoW - has a somewhat small town Alabama mentality towards new players. This is also combined with a recurring problem of a number of players using their characters to effectively further their own real life politics or ideologies. In particular the crypto-fascists are very drawn to the Aldmeri Dominion faction, with the prominence of the Thalmor - yes the same elf supremacists from Skyrim - being a key factor. Thanks to blatant racism being a canonical factor of the setting many have gotten away with effectively using their character as a smokescreen. Alternatively the Neo-Roman Imperials also are a popular second choice for your standard chauvinistic “ew women” basement dwellers who would shrivel at the first touch of a real woman. Community issues aside, ESO also has system problems with a very awkwardly designed UI that is unintuitive to someone used to the traditional hotbar system present in many MMO games. Perhaps a minor problem in the long term as you get used to it but be prepared for heavy frustration and awkward handling. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Second up we have the supposed rising star of the genre, in the gleaming world of Eorzea, the primary setting for Final Fantasy 14. The setting is very conducive for Adventure type RP in particular, but by no means limited. The worldbuilding of Eorzea is very elaborate, with analogues to many real world cultures being present, Norse, Franco-German, Middle English, Levantine/Mediterranean and Far Eastern with smaller groups being present too. The lore is watertight, with very few inconsistencies - the few are merely a player issue of doing class quests in reverse order to the story quest mostly - and the setting is shown rather than explained through out of universe books. Player housing is rather advanced as well, with both personal and guild varieties being present in four capital cities so far.

Things are not always sunny however. Some glaring errors are present in the game. The UI and general intuitiveness of the systems present are incredibly dated and arcane. This is likely due in part to the need to keep things workable for the console players, and probably Square Enix not understanding their playerbase, especially in the West. In addition, due to how the story is the main system of progression, for those wanting to roleplay with a full understanding it is effectively mandatory to do the main story questline to completion before taking part in substantial or heavy roleplay. Finally and probably the most glaring problem is the issue of the community itself. While the general projection is that the FF14 community is very welcoming and kinder than the WoW community, this is only really applicable to the US servers. Both Crystal and Primal - the main ones - are highly active, busy and brimming with both helpful people and roleplay, so much so it spills out into the open world and cities. Crystal in particular is the most analogous to “golden age” Argent Dawn. The only major issue is the “problem” of ERP being quite acceptable and open in the games RP community, no weirdly KKK cosplaying attempts to shut it down will work here, unfortunately for some. That said it can be ignored and the players soliciting can be reported if they persist - and square enix is very good at customer support. However, the European servers are a whole other beast. Light has no roleplay of any major or notable amount, and half of the servers on it are not even populated. Outside of Lich, Shiva and Odin there are scant few players around. Chaos has more people on it, but the wrong kind of people. I have spoken to a now silly number of people on Crystal and to a lesser extent Primal giving abject horror stories they have brought from the Chaos server group. Most of the RP happens on Omega, with some smaller level on Moogle and Ragnarok. Though to call it RP is generous. Their “roleplay” consists of generally playing self-inserts in Second Life tier social roleplay. Those few who engage in actual roleplay often find themselves ostracised or even - subtly - harassed - remember, square enix are very good at customer support - for trying to roleplay within the setting they are in. It is no surprise then that there are more European players playing on the US server groups than on their own. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally the old man, though potentially most balanced of the three is the well established Galaxy Far Far Away - the setting of Star Wars: The Old Republic. With a colossal lore from both in game and the extended Old Republic universe itself the game has tremendous potential for all manner of RP, from your traditional Sith or Jedi RP to space Criminals, Military, space Researchers/Academics, Political RP and most things in between. The Stronghold System, while dated compared to the others does allow for expansive and varied environments to do both public and private roleplay within, with a whole catalogue of venues being available for perusal. Besides that, the planets themselves are highly expansive and massive in terms of scale, easily twice the size of major zones in WoW often with a variety of environments that make the planets seem like an actual world, or part of at least. Hoth really does have the sensation you are on a frozen tomb in the Outer Ring. The downsides of the game however are rather heavy. Roleplay is almost entirely guild centric, though not hidden away by any means. Competing “headcanons” have been know to create problems, but as the Galaxy is big enough it really boils down to a matter of taste rather than sociopathic cult leaders attempting to control the roleplay for everyone. In addition, the system of the game are woefully clunky, with the worst customisation for characters present, even if the transmog system is better than WoW’s. Thankfully the new expansion for it is coming soon which promises to revamp both character agency and customisation and fix systems that are horrendously out of place in 2021. Finally the other main issue of TOR is the presence of the free to play, but pay and get more model. Freemium is neither the F2P that ESO offers or the simple subscription model FF14 offers.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

With all that said, each game has its flaws and perks. Considering there loudest voices seem to be indicating either a shift towards ESO or FF14, it will be interesting to see if these become permanent converts - with all the moral grandstanding about how terrible Blizzard is - or they will quietly slink back to Azeroth once the dust settles and nothing sadly is done about the appalling corporate problems in Blizzard. I personally will remain engaged on Argent Dawn. WoW itself is a product that is shaped by its community more than its sleazy developers and strangulating Blizzard over it is realistically likely to cause more harm long term. Besides, how can we reclaim the setting for the players if we all decide to jump ship?

[embalmerandphotographer]

I really enjoy reading your headcanons! Finally, fellow fans who are also interested in the lore of Identity V! I have a question for you. Joseph is a very interesting character to explore, in terms of his background. Some players have also noticed that he makes different sound effects depending on whether he is in the Camera World or not. He sounds way younger when in the Camera World. Do you have any theories to explain this?

[makes some big dumb show of doing stretches and cracking my bones b/c ive spent the past two days reading an isekai manga about a spider and i need to remember what its like to be a person again] OKAYSOin general ive got a massive love-hate relationship with idv’s lore b/c some of it i think is fun and interesting and some of it i think is astoundingly poorly written/presented/conceptualized 

i tend to turkey-carve it for the bits i like and ignore the rest, and that works for a game like IdV b/c the lore has so little to do with the gameplay and is so incredibly loosely strung togethor anyway that it really is very much a free for all in terms of headcanoning and world building

what we know from canon is more or less as follows-joseph and his family were french nobility that Barely escaped the french revolution with their heads (literally)-his twin died when they were both young men (most likely in their twenties) of chronic illness (ill get back to this one in my personal headcanons)-joseph lived well into old age obsessing more and more over parapsychology and his work with his cameras until he inevitably ended up alone and rather scrambled in the head, at which point he is implied to have died of mercury poisoning from said photography, but not before amassing a large but uncertain amount of victims whose fate is unclear (but most likely dead)joseph in game is, obviously, not an old manthings to derive from: the french revolution was in 1789, the general concept for how photography works and the camera obscura has been around since BCE though the first concept for a portable functioning camera was conceptualized in 1685 but even so the first camera capable of taking a photograph was in 1816this means that if we’re going by real-world timelines joseph wouldve never touched a camera until plausibly his 30s-40s at the earliestluckily this is a loosely strung togethor silly horror game so i think its okay to fudge our timelines a bit to make things run more smoothlywhat im getting at is that i Believe the intent in canon is that the photograph taken of Joseph and Claude when they where in their twenties is where the in game version of Joseph derives from- that is to say, you might need to accept that there’s sort of been “”two”” josephs, the one that grew old, developed his craft, and died alone, and the “psychic imprint” joseph left behind in the photograph with claude, that “inherited” all these abilities and is now the joseph we know in game

a bit complicated, but simplified down to this: basically, its my interpretation that in game joseph is a poltergeist that derived his appearance and state of being from the old photograph, but also retains all the information from his old life

his sense of self is probably incredibly strange i dont think joseph is super aware of whats going on in his own head

AS FOR THE BREATHING and different states depending on if he’s in the camera world or the Real ™ world

since joseph is a ghost that is immediately tied to this camera world, it is within that world that he appears most alive- his breathing is still very rough and heavy, because in life joseph was Also a very sickly person like his twin (i told you id get back to that)- its worse in the Real world, because when he’s in the real world you see him as he really is- a shambling, broken undead, and his breathing is noteably even Worse because of it

also a semi related tangent but if we’re to assume that joseph died around, say, 1860 and most of the other characters (not all!! the hunters and survivors are all very clearly from all over the timeline, enforcing the idea that the mansion is a sort of timeless dimension) are from between WW1 and 2, that means that if we want to judge joseph’s “age” by when the old joseph died, he’s roughly been 80 years a ghost plus his age upon death

not that i think he really grasps that, like i mentioned i dont think joseph is all there by any means at all but i dont expect a murder ghost to be All There anyway

-📷

~

!!

all of this!

to summarize&elaborate: we think the lore implies that the version of joseph at the manor is a supernatural impression/ghost (specifically a poltergeist) of the man joseph was while he was alive.

the mortal joseph lived a long life, and developed his soul photography techniques to the point where he was actually able to capture human souls in photographs. it’s unclear whether or not he knew that the people he then took pictures of and trapped in camera worlds of their own were effectively killed by this process or not (basically we don’t know if mortal!joseph knew we was killing people, but we tend to think he didn’t, and may actually have thought he was helping them). that joseph died in old age of mercury poisoning related to chemical exposure from the photography.

also, he may have started the whole soul photography research out of grief over his twin’s death. that would explain why ghost!joseph (i.e. our joseph, the hunter in the game) looks so young. mortal!joseph was trying to find a way to get to his brother in the photograph taken when they were both still alive.

the living version of joseph had a serious chronic illness, and his twin also had it and eventually succumbed to it. we think it was a disease of the lungs, and that’s why ghost!joseph’s breathing is still so heavy when he’s in the camera world, the place his ghost came from and therefore looks the most “real”/closest to how he appeared in life. when ghost!joseph leaves the camera world he’s native to, his true nature is revealed and he looks broken/cracked/monstrous, and his breathing gets lower and more rattling.

we also headcanon that as a ghost, joseph’s body produces a thick black fluid instead of blood/phlegm, and when he leaves the camera it gets into his lungs the way his phlegm would have when he was alive because of his illness, but it’s thick and possibly toxic and it makes his breathing much worse. he chokes on it but he can’t die because he’s already dead.

and because of how we interpret the twins’ illness, this means that every time joseph hunts outside the camera world, he’s experiencing what killed his brother.

tldr: hunter!joseph is the poltergeist the living joseph desaulnier left behind/created through his soul photography technique. this ghost version of joseph breathes heavily in both worlds because he was sick while he was alive, and that illness killed his twin and led him down the path to both his research/photography and the grief and self isolation that resulted in his madness and body count. the difference in his breathing between the camera world and the real world is due to the fact that joseph still appears alive (he’s a positive copy inside the negative of the photo world) there, and so he sounds how he did in life. it gets heavier/deeper outside of the photo world because joseph is a ghost/undead and only his obviously undead photo negative copy can exist outside the camera world.

-⚰️

[theultimateegghead-blog]

Buggers, some creepy crawlies in video games!

Insects, love them or hate them, they are a part of live that almost everyone needs to deal with. Video games are no escape from this, as these critters have hooped, skittered and darted into many games. Also, even though they aren’t technically bugs, expect some eight-legged freaks to pop up as well. So grab your bug spray, grab your swatter, here are some insects in video games. Fair warning, if bugs really get to you, if seeing them can cause anxiety or panic, then skip this list. It’s ok I don’t blame you, bugs horrify me.

Bug type Pokemon (Pokemon) Bug type pokemon, there are too many to include just one. The bug type is realistically not that great of a type, it isn’t very strong and has many weaknesses. However, we have all had a bug type on our team before, they can be good early to mid-game, and even all the way to the champ if you know what your doing. They level up and evolve quickly and are some of the first pokemon you’ll encounter that can use status effect moves. Some bug types can actually be heavy hitters and worth the investment, and now there are even legendary bug types. So don’t put this typing down just cause it isn’t as strong as other types, bug types have a bit to offer! My personal favorite bug types by generation are… Beedrill, Scizor, Ninjask, Yanmega, Leaveany and good old Buzzwole.

The centipede (Centipede) One of the first bugs in video games, lets sing its praise. The centipede is simple, it crawls down the screen and the player have to shoot it into pieces before it reaches the bottom. The mushrooms will block your shot so you have to align them well to defeat the monster bug. Other than that it serves no lore or greater meaning behind its existence, its just a big centipede, simple as that.

Wigglers (Super Mario Bros) Wigglers are, more often than not, peaceful creatures that walk around in a state of ignorant bliss. They often wont react at all if jumped on and will continue on their merry way. Now if you jump on their head your in for a bad time, as they will fly into a rage and dash around in a crimson fury. It is often the best option to just avoid this creature if you don’t want to get hurt.

Caterkiller (Sonic Series) This is technically cheating since it’s a robot. The caterkiller takes on the form of a caterpillar and it just slowly moves along the ground. This creature is best to just avoid, since jumping on it often results in taking damage. The rule is to aim for the head and not any other part. In some games these things can be giant, reminiscent of a sandworm. Overall they are one of the most famous badniks in the Sonic series.

Flourescent Flower (Bloodborne) This beast is a horrifying eldritch abomination. It is a weird mixture of a plant, a centipede and a horrendous gaping maw. The creature has slow turning and is overall not to hard to defeat provided you are not standing in front of it. It attacks primarily with projectiles and can take quite a few hits to defeat. In the main game, they are rare enemies only appearing in one place that you will rarely revisit. They are more common however inside chalice dungeons.

Roolie (Bugdom) A nice little pill bug. This bug is the main character of the obscure yet cherished pc game Bugdom. Roolie must run, roll and kick his way through several levels in a quest to save his kingdom from an evil fire ant army. Roolie is a brave little bug who is up against tons of odd, including bruiser bees, horrifying spiders and even giant feet that want to crush him. However, he perseveres in his quest to save his kingdom and rescue the lady bug inhabitants.

Seltas Family (Monster Hunter) This monster family has two members, the standard Seltas and the queen. Lets cover the Seltas first. This relatively large monster is an airborne menace that likes to dart and fly out of range on the hunters weaponry. They have weak underbellies and are vulnerable to fire. The seltas will try to ram you with its horn, spit acid at you and swipe at you. If you managed to slay it, you can reap the rewards and make some armor. Now for the queen. The Seltas queen is always seen with a normal seltas, the queen is not airborne but can be carried by its underling. When alone she primarily fights with her tail and uses pheromones to call for help. These two make a deadly duo in combat.

Bugzzy (Kirby Series) A recurring mini boss in the Kirby Series. This martial artist beetle can grapple the pink puff ball with his massive pincers and slam him down or throw him. He can summon other bugs to help him if he cant grab Kirby himself. Inhaling him grants Kirby some new fighting moves, and in some games you can even convert him into an ally.

Zingers (Donkey Kong Country) One of the most common enemies in the Donkey Kong series. The Zingers are large wasp that are covered in spikes, due to these spikes they cannot be jumped on. The only way to defeat a Zinger is to throw something at it or have an animal friend dispatch it. They come in different colors, each one flies in a different pattern. They love to hover around barrels and can make barrel blast jumps tricky. What’s worse is that at one point you need to venture into one of their hives.

Giant Wasp (Earth Defense Force) These guys represent the horrors that is a wasp. Fast, aggressive and intimidatingly large. These wasp dart around at high speeds and shoot projectiles at you. Since they are airborne it can be a bit tricky to take them down, as they are quite mobile. They have a bit of health too and sometimes attack in swarms or in unison with other insects. Eventually you’ll come across giant metal versions that are even faster and more dangerous than before. These guys are among some of the most annoying enemies in insect Armageddon.

Queen Bee (Terraria) Deep in the underground jungle, you can find a beehive…Inside this beehive you can find an odd looking larvae, destroy it and prepare to meet the wrath of the queen bee. The queen bee is a very fast boss with a plethora of attacks. She has a good amount of health and the honey in the hive can hinder your movement. Do not try to fight this thing until your prepared and bring a ranged weapon! After you defeat her, you can revel in the spoils, as she drops some pretty good things. Also you get the witch doctor npc as a reward for slaying this giant bee.

Antlions (Half Life 2) Antlions are very aggressive creatures in the Half Life universe. They burrow under sandy areas and can react to surface tremors. Their nest are large and expansive. They come in five primary forms. The standard drone, which can attack in swarms, they have some flight capacity, so don’t think escaping will be easy. These drones are the most common. Next is the grey workers, they tend to not leave the nest and will spit acid at Gordan upon seeing him, they are physically weaker than the standard drone. The worm like grubs are defenseless and stick to the walls, ceiling and floors of the hive, waiting for the day they become a more capable threat. The red soldier is a ferocious large beast that is very aggressive and serves as a mini-boss of sorts, it can take a lot of punishment before going down. Finally the guardian is a soldier that guards the nest, it is very ferocious and very powerful and is best avoided.

Fire Ants (Fallout 3) The wasteland is full of nasties, these buggers are among some of the worst the waste has to offer. In Fallout three, they were born out of a twisted experiment that turned a colony of ants into giant fire breathing monsters. A nearby town was destroyed by this swarm of monsters and its up to the lone wanderer to clear the place out. These monsters are perceptive, fast and deadly. Since the quest that involves them appears early in the game they can be a brick wall that takes a while to overcome. So stay on your toes and keep your gun ready and steady. Beware, for this swarm has a queen…

Frostbite Spiders (Skyrim) Do you hate spiders? I hate spiders, they are freaky and just instantly cause panic in me. Video games know arachnophobia is a legit thing, and they cash in on this bad. Get ready for some spiders, starting with the frostbite spider. These spiders make their home in many caves and some outside areas in Skyrim. They can spit venom at their foes, and can ambush people from above if they dare venture into a spider infested area. These creatures can vary in size, with some being the size of a pig to others being the size of a small house! Fire spells dispatch them pretty quickly, they seem more resistant to cold, hence their name. Try to keep an eye out for these nasties when exploring the Rift, cause they tend to pop up there often.

Cave Spiders (Minecraft) Regular spiders are bad enough in Minecraft. Spiders can crawl up vertical walls, crawl under one block openings and have a dangerous jump attack. They don’t despawn during the day either, even though they cease being hostile in the daylight. The cave spider is everything that makes a spider bad and more. The cave spider is smaller and thus harder to hit, they can inflict deadly poison on you and they tend to come from spawners. They crawl towards you in narrow corridors filled with webs, now the webs only slow you down, not them. If you decide to go deep into a mine shaft in hopes of finding rare minerals or a fortress, be ready to fight these guys.

Black Tigers (Resident Evil) The Spencer Mansion and Raccoon city have a giant spider problem for sure, but one of the biggest of the bunch is the Black Tiger. This monster made its home underground and waits for unfortunate prey to stumble into its domain. It can spit acid and give a nasty bite… What’s worse is that it might have a buddy with it. After some shotgun blast to the face it will go belly up… And proceeds to spit out baby giant spiders, an arachnophobes nightmare.

Muffet (Undertale) Who said spiders couldn’t be cute? Or sell baked goods for that matter? Muffet is both of these. She initially appears at a bake sale, selling various pastries at extremely high prices. Normally a player will not buy these items. Later, the player is forced to battle her, as she was hired by Mettaton to take you out. During the battle she will trap you in her web and send her pets at you. Survive long enough and she will receive a telegram showcasing that you either supported the spider bake sale in the ruins, or you avoided stepping on any spiders. She will let you go after this ‘misunderstanding’ comes to a close. Alternatively, you can show her your love…but you wouldn’t do that, now would you?

Phantom (Devil May Cry) A big nasty from the Devil May Cry series. This demon takes on the form of a giant lava spider and attacks Dante numerous times. He serves as the first boss and is a challenging one at that. Later on, he will attack Dante and switch to a form similar to a scorpion. This spider is arrogant and boastful of its power but is squashed by Dante. In Devil May Cry 2, he comes back for a rematch. He presumably escaped the dark pit he was sent to, only to be sent falling back into it.

Skulltula (Zelda Series) The giant spiders of the Zelda series. These monsters have a skull like design on its back and are nasty creature to come face to face with. They vary in size, from the size of a turtle to the size of a human child. These baddies usually stay attached to walls or suspended on a vine. However they will craw around if need be and can entangle their foe. These guy’s shells are tough and most attacks to the front wont harm the bigger ones, their belly is their weak point, though arrows help too. There exist a rare golden variety capable of inflicting horrible curses upon the greedy.

The Stygian (Darksiders) Of course there was going to be a giant worm on the list. The Stygian is a colossal sand worm that can swallow War whole. Due to its tremendous speed and size, War must ride his horse to do combat with the creature. These monster serves as one of the bosses od the original Darksiders and would do battle with War in a massive arena. Initially its mouth is closed, but its mouth is its weak point so War will have to break it open, during the fight, smaller worms may come to assist it. Upon its defeat, War enters its body and rips out its oddly small heart.

Undeep (Lost Planet) From sand to Snow, the Undeep is a huge monster encountered in Lost Planet. It is fought relatively early in the game and serves as a warning to new players to choose their battles. This creature can be avoided, and it is recommended to do so. However, a skilled tactical player can take the beast down and revel in the victory. This worm is massive and can very easily crush the player under its mass. This worm would reappear in future installments as a boss as well, however in those games your more well suited to take it down.

Earthworm Jim (Earthworm Jim series) Not every worm is hungry for flesh and is the size of a football stadium! This groovy worm is simply put…just a normal cartoon earthworm. What makes him special is his state of the art space suit. Armed with a energy gun, Jim makes his way through many crazy levels, avoiding deadly traps and fighting colorful villains in order to rescue Princess what’s her name. Jim can use his body as a lasso and a helicopter to navigate levels. Jim was rather prolific in the 90s, starring in 3 games and having his own cartoon series. Sadly, his third game was a bad 3D game that doomed him to the back shelf.

The Knight (Hollow Knight) I figured I would end this list with something cute. The knight is a member of the void race. The knight is a gender-less hero that fights with a nail. Over the course of the game, the knight will learn many powers and spells to aid it in combat. The knight can heal itself with its soul. The knight will encounter many hardships over its journey through its world. 

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Wow! This was my longest list yet! Congrats on making it to the end. Tune in next time when we look at some nice beach themed levels!

[videobun-gameblog]

Rambling about Sekiro (spoilers below read me):

- Evolution of "i'm scared to block, i like Souls rolling" to "okay i'll block and sort of deflect but only basic attacks i know" to "okay I don't even need to dash except for perilous attacks!"  to "okay now i can actually flip between defense and offense on the fly and this is SUPER fun!!"

- Basically, I've never in my life played a game where offense and defense mesh so well together, where blocking is FUN and viable, and seeing your attacks get deflected is actually GOOD and not just infuriating, because you're making progress in the fight.

- People've said Dark Souls is a little like a hard, combat focused Zelda but really, THIS is what that's like, and I'm in love. From did it.

- The upgrade system is neat and I appreciate it for rewarding exploration but also allowing you to challenge yourself by refusing to use them. Also it just works out really well for speedrun balancing and I can’t wait to see the evolution of speedruns in this game because there’s a good balance between wanting more power, posture, and HP and wanting to go as fast as possible.

SPOILERS UNDER CUT, DON’T DO IT UNLESS YOU ARE ALREADY AT /END/ GAME OR DO NOT EVER INTEND TO BUY SEKIRO

   ---!!!SPOILER ZONE (I'm serious do not read if you intend to play or are still playing)!!!---

 (long space for people who might see this on the blog first as opposed to via the dashboard)

- I absolutely adore the weird scientific/medicinal/supernatural macabre shit in this game. The red lump item gave me chills picking it up the first time. Same thing with seeing the first undying monk thing, I couldn't even burn it (but then I finally did it with THAT ITEM... more below)

- haha hand in a jar! haha that guy that flies at you... haha, monkey :) haha ninja dog...... hell even the headless... I love From's mix of disturbing humor (or just flat out being funny despite the bleak setting). Their version of mimics in Souls sum this up best but there's plenty of things here too that are just flat out hilarious and I love it.

- Oh Christ, speaking of, I did the Doctor questline and oh god it gave me some of that Bloodborne dread.

- "IS THAT A FUCKING DARK SOULS?" also lmao when he falls

- "IS THAT THE FUCKING CHAOS BLADE!??" oooh fuck oh fuck *pushes up glasses* remember the cut content with Shiva in Dark Souls???

- Sekiro/Wolf having the "defy your father, break the code" moment was SO good and I love that whole archetype. Simple but I just... <3 Oh god and When Owl is basically just like "that's my boy" when you kill him... I... u_u

- giving Lord Kuro rice was SO cute and just furthered my love for Wolf because this child is teaching him part of how to be himself and to also enjoy things (basically chill the fuck out you freaking murder machine, you are more than that) through compassion, friendship, and a reminder of his own childhood and I don't really get emotional over stuff like this often but awww..! ;_;

- The sake dialogue moments are so good. A very simple concept but I love the nature of sharing part of one's past through a friendly offering, it felt like a really good balance between clear concise mechanics (sake) fitting neatly with narrative elements. It's basically just a dialogue item but it didn't FEEL that way. I felt genuine excitement upon finding new drinks knowing I'd get a chance to share it.

- OH MY GOD ENFEEBLED IS SUCH A GOOD ASS STATUS EFFECT??? THE ANIMATIONS!!! He just hobbles around like a dude who just suddenly became an old man (’cuz that’s literally what it is) with his sword as a cane??? I LOVE FROMSOFT! That shit is so wonderfully expressive but also fits perfectly with that style of horror humor (and I lied before. Mimics are beaten by THIS status effect. New number one spot for my fave moment like this in a From game)

- Oh also speaking of animation, those fucking boss kills!!! *deep inhale* BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- While not my favorite boss mechanically, SPECIFICALLY that kill animation on the Giant Ape... DUDE HOLY FUUUCK! and then the fake out!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SO good!

- Lady Butterfly was a fun main boss and O'Rin of the Water was a fun mini boss. Plenty of others were fantastic but those stood out. Like, two of my friends so far have expressed the same feelings on Butterfly! Good Fight!

- I even liked the gimmick fights! They did it! Gimmick fights that are actually well designed! They're more about exploring mechanics outside of pure combat without punishing you super fucking hard at a random point just because they can. (Bed of Chaos, Micolash) Strangely a little bit of a breather, which is fitting because it’s a perfect counter balance to the stress of finding yourself in a unique situation. They actually give you time to analyze, think, and breathe it all in!

- I'm currently stuck on an end game "secret"/optional boss with some classic From Lore Implications *ok hand* and it's brutal af. I am excited to learn how to master this.

 --- SLIGHT CRITICISM (basically the “i love it so much i can’t help but see small flaws but I’d still give it a 10/10 anyway” part) ---

- I like that even when they repeat mid bosses they usually put them in a new arena to change things up. I think a FEW were a little overdone though and could have benefited from maybe... I dunno, a couple new ones in their place or at LEAST alternate movesets to change things up a bit more than just location BUT the combat is engaging enough that I don't mind, I just found it a LITTLE weird how despite the rest of the polish there was a tad bit of copy-paste (but far FAR less egregious than DS1)

- Idk how replayable this game is gonna be but I can definitely see myself finishing NG+ and doing two more playthroughs for all endings. It's replayable more in the Metroid or Legend of Zelda sense and less in the Dark Souls character build sense. "I wanna try a new route first and beat bosses more effectively this time. I wanna be as stealthy as possible this run" etc. and not "I wanna make an int build" (less a critique and more an observation on how it differs from Souls replayability)

- Dragonrot is like, the only actual flaw in this game imo. It doesn't have enough depth. I was thinking it would have more end game narrative significance but it's just something tied to the sort of useless unseen aid mechanic which fails to really incentivize risky play. If anything it just encourages you to grind before bosses to cap the current exp bar and save/store/spend sen by spending 10 minutes fucking around elsewhere until you're ready so that you have nothing to lose. I feel like it should have done some world state changes and something more intense, like ACTUALLY having npcs die and having a healthier world state and an unhealthier world state where some enemies get weaker or stronger based on which extreme your world is on etc. etc. basically ANYTHING more than it is now. But this is super minor relative to how good everything else is. It just felt underwhelming considering all it was hyped up to be. It’s one of those things I just ignore as if it wasn’t there and it’s just as good because it has little effect on the parts that I DO like the game for.

 ---FINAL NOTE---

- To end on a positive note though, Sekiro managed to be a game that iterated on the Souls formula by defying part of what it became (dodge heavy, block averse play, slow, parrying primarily for one-shotting) yet still providing the same feelings of starting one of those games fresh. Part of what makes it FEEL Souls-y is precisely what separates it from those games, and it's all too good to really put into words at the moment. Like sure it's got Estus, bonfires, and a kick-your-ass "you're going to get stuck and frustrated and that's how it is" attitude and it's got a similar enough control scheme, but beyond that, there's just so much more combat and movement depth that it's a whole new beast, and I love it so much.

[zippdementia]

The Main Resident Evil Games, Ranked

I’ve been playing Resident Evil games since Resident Evil 2 first terrified me as a 14 year old. I have fond memories of having to have my friend play through the sewer sections in that game, the ones involving giant spiders... and I also have fond memories of eventually overcoming those fears to achieve the coveted A Rank on the game and unlocking Hunk and Tofu (God, I had way more time back then). Since those early days, I’ve played through every main game in the series and have mostly kept up with the lore of the side games. It remains one of my favorite go-to franchises for its atmosphere and fun mix of horror and action, not to mention its over-the-top story, which always feels a little bit like Capcom browsed Reddit for its favorite fan fiction than turned it into an official game.

That said, this list looks at only the nine main games in the series (that’s Resident Evil 0 through 7, plus Code Veronica) as those are the only ones I’ve played, outside of obsessing for a month or two on Umbrella Chronicles... oh, and a brief, extremely un-fun run through Outbreak.

Because I started the series so long ago, I have a love in my heart for the old school fixed camera games and those that give us a healthy dose of survival horror over action, but I’ve tried to be as objective as possible in creating this list, keeping in mind that of course such things can never stray too far from the subjective. Also, as an added bonus, I’ve included a “scariness” ranking for each game separate from the main ranking. This, of course, is COMPLETELY subjective.

And with that, let’s do *assumes dark growly voice* RESIDENT EVIL: RANKING.

#9: Resident Evil 6

Resident Evil 6 is a mess of ideas and intentions. From the beginning, its development was hampered by too many cooks in the kitchen as various directors and producers continually changed their mind as to what the game should be. Eventually they settled on making it everything by breaking up the game into three extremely different short games, one that relies heavily on horror aspects, one on action aspects, and one on shooting aspects (including heavy use of a widely panned cover system). Unfortunately, these three approaches are intrinsically opposed to each other in terms of genre, gameplay, and aesthetic. Instead of pleasing all fans, this approach guaranteed that no matter who you are, you are going to like exactly one third of Resident Evil 6 and hate two thirds of it. It also highlighted for fans that Capcom no longer knew what its series wanted to be. The asinine story which arguably jumped the shark as far back as Code Veronica now captured that shark, put a saddle on it, and rode it around an arena while Chris Redfield did steroids. In short: the story was so nonsensical, it seemed to leave nowhere else for the series to go (a problem they just sort’ve ignored in Resident Evil 7). Resident Evil 6 has some fun elements to it, and it fixed many of the problems people had with bad companion AI and clunky run and gun mechanics, but it wasn’t enough to make the experience a good one.

Scary rank #9: In addition to being a poor game, Resident Evil 6 almost completely moves away from the game’s horror routes. Leon’s campaign has some nice tip of the hats to the old series, but the game never becomes scary. The fact that you run around with a partner for the entire thing and that those partners quip ridiculous lines like “it’s really powerful, especially against living things” means you’ll be cringing in embarrassment more than fear from this title.

#8: Resident Evil 0

Released in 2002, Resident Evil 0 feels like the final evolution of the old school style and systems of Resident Evil’s fixed camera games. The controls are smoother, the use of weapons easier, you can drop items directly on the floor and the game will keep them there for later retrieval, and there is the buddy system which represents a very early attempt at cooperative AI. Unfortunately, despite all of these improvements to the mechanics, the experience itself feels too well worn by this point to be very exciting. You can tell that the developers themselves were growing tired of the formula as they start to move away from zombies to other monsters... like, er, frogs. Yes, unfortunately the replacements aren’t very interesting: frogs, baboons, a giant bat, and an operatic villain feel like weak additions to the series and make it seem like the developers were out of ideas. The story fills in some of the backstory of the mansion incident but ultimately doesn’t push us forward towards anything new (which is what fans really wanted and wouldn’t get until RE4). Aside from an incredible opening sequence on a train and the criminally underused character of Billy, Resident Evil 0 is a very polished but very bland experience.

Scary Rank #6: The scariest thing about Resident Evil 0 is managing two characters. Trying to gather enough supplies for one person in Raccoon City is a trick in itself. Having to keep both members of your team well equipped, well healed, and ready to deal with the plethora of enemies they will face can be harrowing. It’s the rare occasion where having two does not feel better than having one. And then there’s the leechmen. I don’t know if it’s because they are sturdy or seem to pop up whenever you least expect it, or maybe it’s that music that plays when they attack, but the leechmen will freak me out and leave me with the jitters every time they show up. None of the other enemies are very frightening, though, and anytime I get too scared I just think back to that cinema scene of Markus singing opera to his leeches... and burst out laughing.

#7: Resident Evil Code Veronica

After the events of Resident Evil: Nemesis, no one was sure where Capcom could take the story next. Raccoon City had been destroyed, Umbrella Corps had fallen, and all of our heroes had been given somewhat happy endings. Enter Code Veronica, which blew open the possibilities again by reintroducing Albert Wesker. By now, Wesker is so well associated with Resident Evil as to be a cliche, but it was a huge surprise in 2000 when he was revived, green lizard eyes and all, to take on Chris Redfield once again. Suddenly people were talking about Resident Evil again and where it might go in the future. This success, however, is less impressive now that that future has arrived and there are better games to play in the series. Code Veronica always favored innovation over polish and it has not aged well as a result. Most notably, the game seems to demand more speed and fighting ability of its player than previous entries, pitting Claire and Chris against such fast moving villains as the Matrix-inspired Wesker and his pack of lightning quick hunter beasts. Combats tend to be fought in tighter quarters, sometimes to extremely frustrating effect, such as the infamous “Steve” battle (also, I hate Steve), or the Tyrant fight in the back of an airplane. Players who have not properly kept up their inventory with powerful weapons and healing items can find themselves stuck in these places, struggling with the clunky controls to try and dodge extremely damaging attacks. The atmosphere and story make Code Veronica worth the experience... but only barely.

Scary Rank #4: A lot of Code Veronica’s scares are due to the feeling that you can’t handle what the game is throwing at you. This is, as described above, a mixture of awful controls and enemies that are far too fast and resilient for most players to be able to take on with that control scheme. Still, it does make the experience harrowing. More legitimate scares come from the creepy gothic atmosphere and the bizarre nature of the Ashford twins. Alex is... ridiculous. But his sister Alexia brings to bear all the things we all hate about creepy little girls and then throws in some incest and patricide to boot. Alexia is a genuinely disturbing addition to the Resident Evil roster.

#6: Resident Evil 7

Resident Evil 7 had the Herculean task of redeeming Resident Evil as a series after the missteps of Resident Evil 6. And, for the most part, it succeeded at this. Choosing to return to the series’ horror routes, RE7 draws upon the influences of other games in the genre, most notably Alien Isolation and Outlast, to craft an experience that feels modernized and on par, atmospherically, with some of the best Resident Evil titles. There are moments that are absolutely terrifying and the game doesn’t stop feeling tense until very near the end. Gamers like myself who grew up with RE1 and RE2 love this return to form and find that the first-person perspective retains the feel of the old fixed camera without being as restrictive, creating a horror experience where you are constantly wondering what’s behind you (but at least have the ability to turn around and check). Even fans who are newer to the series seemed to collectively breath a sigh of relief when they played the game. Reading forums and Reddit threads reveals that most gamers find the game to be fresh and smart, and are happy that it lacked the emphasis on lore and the over the top mustache-twirling villains that dominated previous titles. Objectively, though, there are flaws that I think will not be looked on favorably the more it ages. The blocking system, for instance, feels shoehorned in as a quick fix to disguise the fact that you can’t dodge or easily slow an approaching enemy down. Then, too, the game tries to be an action game near the end and utterly fails at it, only highlighting its unsatisfying shooting mechanics. The Molded are scary but overall a let down as enemies, with little variety between their forms, and the boss fights are the worst in the entire series, being clumsy and frustrating and a weird tonal break from the rest of the game. So for as much as it gets right, Resident Evil 7 is hopefully a stepping stone to something better.

Scary Rank #3: For the most part, RE7 does stop being scary after the first couple of hours, but holy shit those first couple of hours. There is more terror crammed into the initial exploration of the Baker house than in the entirety of most of the other games in the series. I was actually glad when the scares let up a bit to give me a breather, but it never quite reaches the same “heart attack” level again. That doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of terror sprinkled throughout: the wrecked ship has wonderful atmosphere, and despite having terrible boss fights, the battle against Margueritte is a stand out experience, making you constantly spin around to see if that creepy woman is crawling around behind you. More often than not, just as you turn, she’ll drop on you from above. Seriously, I don’t know how people play this on VR.

#5: Resident Evil 5

As the game that introduced functional multiplayer into the series, Resident Evil 5 remains popular to this day. As I type this, there are probably at least a dozen people live-streaming the game on twitch for the billionth time, and people are still tuning in to watch. Resident Evil 5′s lasting power comes from an absolutely incredible campaign that takes players through a wealth of diverse environments. Its combat situations are well crafted and each one feels a little different from the last, demanding different things of its players in each new area. Whether it’s fighting your way out of a crowd or solving puzzles while keeping back hordes of enemies, Resident Evil 5 keeps throwing new things at the player to ensure they don’t get bored. Its boss fights are similarly diverse and well paced (with a couple exceptions... that stupid jeep fight key among them). Graphically, it still looks good and mechanically some people think (myself included) that it actually plays a little smoother than its successor, Resident Evil 6 (some people say it looks better, too). The game’s main failings come from the fact that it is about 100% less fun to play as a single player experience and from the fact that the game let go of pretty much any horror elements, opting instead for pure action. The result is a game that is one of the most fun to play in the entire series even while it is also the furthest removed from the roots of the series and probably feels the least like a Resident Evil game.

Scary Rank #8: Resident Evil 5 traded in dark nights for African sunshine and switched out zombies for... tribal warriors? No matter what RE5 does, it just seems to be less scary then when it was done before. The Lickers make a triumphant return... but aren’t as scary as they were in Resident Evil 2. The El Gigante fight in the jeep is frustrating and feels like a weird arcade game. Only the fight against Jill and Wesker manages to be tense and even there tension is somewhat broken by Wesker’s drawling accent and ridiculous dialog. Resident Evil 5 is an action game first and foremost, which does little to sell it in the scariness department.

#4: Resident Evil 1 (REmake)

Resident Evil 1 (even before being remade in all its graphical and mechanical glory on the Nintendo Gamecube in 2002) had all of the right elements to create a lasting franchise. It featured incredible sound design and cinematic camera angles, designed not only to keep you guessing what was around the corner but to emulate camera shots used in actual horror movies. For the time it was released, it was mind blowing, unlike anything else on the market in terms of both ambition and quality. More than anything, it was its precise timing that was so impressive. For a horror experience to be good, the timing has to be perfect. That’s easier to do in a film, where the director has control over what the audience experiences and when they experience it. But in an interactive game it’s very difficult. There has to be just enough breathing room to get the player comfortable. Musical cues have to be spot on. That jump scare has to happen at exactly the right moment to have its full impact. And for all of this to work the director has to be able to anticipate what the player will do and where they will go and when they will do it. Resident Evil understood these barriers and crushed them with a key understanding of how gamers play. REmake only improved on this with added enemies (like the infamous Crimson Heads and Lisa Trevor) and new jump scares. The result? Very few of the Resident Evil games since REmake have felt quite so well made. Some took bigger risks, and some are more memorable, but the one that started it all established a formula so good that everything else the series does has been informed by it. Wesker, the Tyrant, creepy mansions... they are all here and as good as ever they will get.

Scary Rank #1: Resident Evil 1 never stops being tense. You never seem to have enough ammo, never enough healing items. You always wonder if this time through the hallway will be the time something jumps out at you. The remake makes this worse with the inclusion of Crimson Heads, which make zombies rise from the dead faster and more resilient (and with a heck of a scary growl), but even the original kept the mansion scary by throwing in those damnable Hunters just when you thought you’d cleared the place out. Speaking of the Remake, can anyone say Lisa Trevor? Dear lord, she alone gives this the number one spot on the list. It may never make your heart pound as hard as Resident Evil 7 does in its most intense moments, but Resident Evil 1 keeps the pressure on for longer and it truly is a sigh of relief when you get picked up by Brad’s helicopter at the end of the game. The first is still the best when it comes to putting your heart in your throat.

#3: Resident Evil Nemesis

Resident Evil Nemesis is a roller-coaster from start to finish, packed with so much action that it is hard to remember that it is possibly the shortest game in the main series. Nemesis doesn’t waste space, transforming Raccoon City into a constantly changing arena. Running around the ruins of Raccoon City as the zombie invasion hits full swing, you witness the city fall further and further into destruction as the streets gradually fill up with harder and harder enemies. No area feels safe in Nemesis, as even spots you’ve cleared previously can repopulate with new enemies. I say “can” because Nemesis keeps players on their toes with a randomly generating enemy system that changes where and when certain enemies appear, meaning you can’t get too comfortable in Raccoon City, even on subsequent playthroughs. And any time you do finally get some breathing room, the quiet is interrupted by a deep voice growling out “STARS...” Originally intended to be only a side story, Nemesis earns its rightful place among the main series mostly due to its titular villain, who is the most impressive of all of Resident Evil’s monsters. Years before Papa Baker would chase you through the halls of his bayou home, the nearly unstoppable Nemesis was already terrifying players by breaking all the old rules of where an enemy would go, chasing players around huge portions of the game’s map, breaking through doors and walls to continue the chase and even equipping a rocket launcher to target players at a distance. There are other innovations that shouldn’t go unnoticed here, either, such as a last-second dodge feature that encourages players to be more aggressive and get up close with enemies. There’s also the “choose your own adventure” timed choices that pop up in intense moments, like when the Nemesis is bearing down on you and you have to choose to jump out of a window or try and blow him up. Sometimes one option is better than another, and sometimes the option changes the story, leading to high replayability. And if you ever get tired of the main game, there is the unlocked Mercenaries mode. That’s right, it wasn’t Resident Evil 4 that started that. Like so many things, Nemesis did it first. All of these quirks and innovations, alongside the incredible non-stop pace, make Nemesis still a blast to play today and one heck of a send off to Raccoon City.

Scary Rank #2: Because the action moves so fast in Nemesis, you will never get a chance to calm down. Not to mention Nemesis himself is a walking jump scare. If Resident Evil 7 proves that being chased makes for some of the scariest moments in a video game, then Nemesis makes you feel chased for the entire game. The only thing that keeps it from being as scary as Resident Evil 1 is that it is over sooner.

#2: Resident Evil 4

Resident Evil 4 represented a revolution in the series, ushering it from its old-school fixed camera routes into a more modern over the shoulder style of play. I struggled with this change throughout my entire first playthrough, upset with the fact that it abandoned the old formulas. Gone were zombies, gone were most of the scares, gone were most aspects of survival horror. But then I also found myself dreaming of it, saying “heheh, what are you buying?” until my girlfriend asked me to stop, and starting over and playing it over from the beginning as soon as I had beaten it. Despite the change in direction, it was a game I didn’t want to end, and I’ve gone on to purchase it on nearly every system its been released on. I’m not alone in this: Resident Evil 4 is one of the most successful games in the franchise and indeed one of the most influential video games of all time. It didn’t only redefine what Resident Evil was for an entire new generation of gamers, it also redefined how people thought of third person shooters, opening the doors for everything from Gears of War to Uncharted. If you load it up today, you’ll find it takes an hour or so to get used to the older controls, but the game was so well designed that once you do you’ll see how everything in the game caters to those controls, creating an enticing run, stop, aim, shoot cycle that is addictive and never stretches beyond its limitations. Of the over the shoulder Resident Evil games, Resident Evil 4 feels the most complete, not requiring a co-op experience to make it good nor relying on years of lore to understand and care about its story and characters. Resident Evil 5 may have been fun, but it never got quite this good again.

Scary Rank #7: Resident Evil 4 is often tense, because of the nature of its gameplay, which forces you to stand still while shakily aiming at oncoming enemies. It never really gets scary, though. Enemies are too slow and your bullets too numerous, your spin kicks too awesome, to make you truly feel vulnerable. It does get props for a certain boss that chases you relentlessly through a certain caged area... oh, and for the Regeneradors. The Regeneradors, with their constant snuffling sound and their twitchy gait, are among the scariest enemies ever in Resident Evil. But a few minutes of pure terror isn’t enough to ignore the heavy focus on action and the fact that Leon carries enough firepower to wage his own war.

#1: Resident Evil 2

Resident Evil 1 may have started the franchise but it was Resident Evil 2 which jumpstarted the fan base. Resident Evil 2 had a lot to prove, mainly that this series could survive (pun intended) more than a single outing, that it could expand its scope, grow its cast of characters, and build on its setting. And boy did it deliver. If Resident Evil 1 broke ground when it came out, then Resident Evil 2 dug deeper. One mansion became a city. The two selectable characters did more than have different items and slightly change the order of events. Now, you had to play both characters one after the other to experience the full story. As if that wasn’t enough, the game changed depending on which character you played first, and in order to see everything the game had to offer, you had to play four times. Granted, two of those times would feel awfully similar, but the A&B scenarios changed just enough about the story and scenarios to make it well worth every second. The scares of the first game remained mostly intact but now a healthy dose of video game action was thrown in and boss fights became more numerous and dynamic, creating what remain the series’ best and most diverse boss fights. Simply put, Resident Evil 2 is a masterpiece of realized ambition that hasn't been matched by any other game in the series. It’s one failing now is that it is old, both graphically and in terms of controls. There’s a reason that fans have been clamoring for a remake of this for so long! But I’m glad Capcom waited so long to do it. Resident Evil 2 needs more than a new coat of paint. It is a carefully constructed experience and care is going to be required to give it a second life on par with the original experience. Here's hoping 2019 delivers on that.

Scary Rank #5:  One of the best things about Resident Evil 2 is that you aren’t playing special forces this time around. Claire Redfield is a simple citizen and Leon Kennedy a rookie cop. They feel, from the opening cutscenes, completely out of their element which added a wonderful connection between them and the player. Unlike the first game, you don’t start off in a safe situation that grows worse the longer you explore. No, you start off in a goddamned car wreck, surrounded by zombies and not nearly enough bullets to fight them. From the beginning, Resident Evil 2 highlights that you need to run to survive. Then it introduces Lickers, which add a whole new element to jump scares and you think that the game may be too frightening to keep playing. But also around this time it introduces you to grenade launchers and shotguns and lots of ammo for both of them. This makes the Resident Evil 2 scares manageable because the reaction to anything that moves in that game is to scream and then douse it with either buckshot or acid rounds.

[djgblogger-blog]

3 initial thoughts on Ready Player One

http://bit.ly/2JkkO1d

The long-anticipated, Steven Spielberg-helmed Ready Player One has just been released in UK cinemas this week, and as a film of obvious interest to DreamingRobots and Cyberselves everywhere, we went along to see what the Maestro of the Blockbuster has done with Ernest Cline’s 2011 novel (which the author himself helped to adapt to the screen).

We went in with a lot of questions, not least of which included:

How would Cline & Spielberg update the material? (in terms of VR technology, 2011 is so 2011. )

How would the film engage with the modern politics of the Internet and gaming?

How would Spielberg use the most up-to-date cinematic techniques and effects to enhance the film? (would this be another game changer?)

What would the film have to say about our future? the future of gaming? of our interconnectedness? social media? what would the film have to say about the future of humanity itself?

A one-time viewing and a next-day review are, of course, too early to answer such big questions with any certainty. Fortunately, however you feel about the film itself, it will reward many multiple viewings on DVD as even the most unsatisfied viewer won’t be able to resist pausing the action frame-by-frame to catch all the references and fleeting glimpses of their favourite video game characters of the past.

But for now, here are 3 initial responses for discussion/debate:

1. Ready Player One is a morality tale about corporate power and the Internet

Cline’s original novel was very much a paean to plucky independent gamers resisting the ruthless greed and world-conquering ambition of the Corporate Villain (while simultaneously, strangely, lionising the richest and most world-conquering of them all, James Halliday, the Gates-Jobs figure transformed here into the benevolent deus ex machina that built his trillions on creating the OASIS).  The film remains true to Cline’s vision, and perhaps even heightens this black-and-white, goodie-versus-baddie (IOI), with a brilliantly cast Ben (‘Commander Krennic’) Mendelsohn and a tragically under-used Hannah John-Kamen heading an army of faceless corporate infantry.

But while this wouldn’t have been at the forefront of Cline’s thinking in 2011, it is impossible to watch this film now, today, and not think of the erosion of net neutrality that was set in motion by the FCC’s December 2017 decision and, more recently, the exposure of Facebook’s data breach by Cambridge Analytica, which has finally woken more people up to the reality of mass surveillance and what personal data corporate giants have and how it might be misused.

There is little chance that Spielberg and Cline had either of these potential dangers in mind when the film went into production. And such issues shouldn’t be vastly oversimplified in real journalism, but storytelling is always a good way to make people understand complex issues and motivate them to action, and if RPO‘s simple story of goodies and baddies can become a cultural rallying-point for the dangerous mix of unchecked capitalism and our social interconnectedness, then that is a Good Thing

2. Spielberg’s film goes a certain way into correcting some of the problems of the original novel (though could have gone further).

Through no real fault of the author, opinions on Cline’s once much-lauded book were revised, post-#gamergate, and what was once seen as an innocent tale of a young (definitely boy) geek’s nostalgic travels from social outsider to saviour of the world (cf. also Cline’s Armada) came to be seen by some instead as a symptom of everything behind the vile misogyny of white male gamers, backlashing out at anyone that didn’t see how they were the best and most privileged of all people on this earth.

Let’s be clear: the gender politics in the film are far from ideal. How is it, for example, notes another reviewer, that two of the main female protagonists are so ignorant of basic Halliday-lore? And there is still a bit too much of White Boy Champion of the World in even this version of Cline’s tale. However, having said that, other critics, too, have noticed a much-improved gender consciousness in the film.

But what is clear from Spielberg’s offering is that women are as much a part of gaming culture as men, and have every right to occupy the same space, and anyone who thinks otherwise can be gone. Without wanting to give anything away, it is enough to note that Art3mis is a legend in the OASIS, a skilled gamer that Parzifal worships, and that one of the OASIS’s best designers/builders (or programmer) is also a woman. Outside of the VR world, the real women behind the avatars are among the best-drawn characters (albeit in a film not overburdened with character depth, but then this is a Spielberg popcorn speciality, not one of his Oscar worthies). Both Olivia Cooke and Lena Waithe are given space to live and to be (the former, in particular, being a much more interesting protagonist the poor Wade Watts, who really is little more than his avatar), and as previously mentioned, John-Kamen is a much more frightening villain than Mendelsohn’s corporate puppet.

This film shouldn’t be heralded as a feminist triumph or a shining example of post-Weinstein Hollywood, but it is a step in the right direction, and it might mean a few more people can forgive Cline for the white-boy wank-fest that they perceive (not without some good reason) the original novel to be.

3. Despite some nods to progressive politics, the film holds deeply conservative views on human nature.

A big attraction of the novel and the excitement of the film, for DreamingRobots and Cyberselves, was the way the novel created worlds in a new reality, and explored the ideas of what humans could become in such spaces no longer bound by the physical limitations of our birth. It’s what we’re looking at with our experiments in VR and teleoperative technologies, and we ask the questions: what happens to human beings when we can be transformed by such technologies? What might our posthuman future look like?

The film does not ask these questions. In this respect, again, the film does not deviate from the original novel. The novel, for all its creativity in imagining such virtual realities, before they were fully realised in real-world technology, was still very much about recognisably human worlds. The film actually regresses to a vision of human experience where the worlds of flesh-reality and virtual-reality are more clearly demarcated. In the book, there was at least a certain bleeding between these two worlds, as events in the virtual world could have consequences in the real world and vice versa. In the film, however, only real-world events have impact on the virtual world. Events in the virtual world do not impact upon the real, and the two storylines, the two battles between goodies and baddies in the virtual and real worlds, are clearly separate. (Highlighted by the fact that there are distinct villains for each location: John-Kamen’s F’Nale Zandor never enters the virtual world, while T.J. Miller’s I-R0k exists only in the virtual. Only Mendelsohn’s Sorrento is the only villain crossing that boundary.)

Spielberg’s vision of 2045 is clearly dystopian: you can see it in the ‘Stacks’, where so many impoverished are forced to live, the utter dominance of mega-corporations, and the inability (or unwillingness) of the state to provide for or protect its citizens. But while so many of the citizens of 2045 take refuge in the paradise that is the OASIS, Spielberg makes it clear that this world is merely a symptom of the dystopian world of the flesh. The opium of these alienated masses, in fact, amplifies the miserable situation of these people. We’re supposed to pity the people we see, caged in their headsets, who can’t play tennis on a real tennis court, or dance in a real nightclub, or find love wherever real people find love.

This is clear at the film’s conclusion, but as we don’t want to give away spoilers, we’ll leave it for you to see for yourselves. But what is evident throughout is that the virtual world should only be a place where gamers go to play – it is not a place where humans can live. And it is only in the world of flesh that humans can really, successfully exist. Again, this is evident in Cline’s novel: ‘That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it’s also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.’

As one reviewer has so succinctly put it:

But here’s the thing. Ready Player One is a tragedy. What seems like a fun adventure movie is actually a horror movie with a lot to say about the way we live now, the way we might live in the future, and the pitfalls and perils of loving video games too much. This is Spielberg reflecting on the culture he helped create, and telling the audience he made mistakes.

The only objection I have to the above quotation is the idea that the film has a lot to say about the way we might live in the future. Because our future will most certainly be posthuman, and this film cannot shake its humanist origins, and its deeply conservative understandings of how we might use technology. In this film, that posthuman being, and the technology that enables it, is as much of a threat to human life as a Great White shark or rampaging dinosaurs.

The film, therefore, cannot at all accommodate what will be the most imperative issues for human beings in the very near future. Such a binary understanding comes straight from the classic humanist guidebook: fantasy is fine, technology can be fun, but what’s real is what’s real, and what is human is human. That meddling in human’s true nature can never bring us happiness, and it is only by eschewing anything external to our true nature can we be truly happy, or truly human, are the usual humanist scaremongering about technology that we’ve seen time and again, since Mary Shelley’s classic Frankenstein did so much to create our present fantasies.

Nevermind that such a worldview ignores the fact that there has never been such a creature, a human being unimpacted by technology. Nevermind, too, that Spielberg’s entire cinematic oeuvre is fantastically, stubbornly, deeply and, sometimes, beautifully humanist (even when, or perhaps especially when, he’s telling stories about big fish or aliens). It is nevertheless a disappointment that such an opportunity, that such a potentially transformative film about the future and how we can be re-shaped by technology, plays it safe and retreats to a nostalgia for a kind of human being that is increasingly becoming obsolete. It would have been nice if Ready Player One was a great film about posthumanism, addressing the vital issues about technology that we are increasingly facing. But alas Perhaps we should dive back into Spielberg’s catalogue and watch A.I. 

Having said that, Ready Player One is a fun film and we will be taking our children to see it ironically, perhaps, for the message that games are fun but sometimes yes, you do need to turn them off. (It is definitely worth its 12 Certificate, though, so parents of younger children be warned. And of course we’ll buy it on DVD, to catch another glimpse of our favourite gaming characters.)

(Which films do you think better address our posthuman future? Suggestions below, please!)