#but every time i ask she just makes supper on her own and ive learned nothing

[so-emo-i-fell-apart]

Aparently I'm useless for offering to make supper but not knowing what to make so I asked my mom what she'd like and now she's just doing it and I'm trying to to cry

[music-of-dragons]

AGOT Dany IV

● The chapter opens with the Khalasar approaching Vaes Dothrak with Drogo, Dany, Jorah, and Viserys at the head of the column. Dany still cares about her brother enough to beg Drogo to allow him back at the head with them so that he's in a place of honor once again. By now he is known as "Khal Raggat" the cart king.

● Dany fears for her brother's safety in the Khalasar, every time he insults them in the common tongue she nervously glances at the Dothraki around them to make sure they do not understand. ~"They are my people now," Dany said. "You shouldn't call them savages, brother."~ To which Viserys replies that the dragon speaks as he likes.

○ This is yet another case of humility vs superiority in Dany and Viserys's characters and how differently they approach a new lifestyle and people. Dany assimilates, Viserys sticks out, and that makes him bitter. 

● ~"It is not right to make him wait." Dany did not know why she was defending her brother, yet she was.~

○Dany cuts Viserys SO much slack it's ridiculous. Even when not in his presence she's defending him. 

● ~"Yet Vaes Dothrak is large enough to house every man of every Khalasar, should all the Khals return to the Mother at once. The crones have prophesied that one day that will come to pass, and so Vaes Dothrak must be ready to embrace all its children."~ 

○ This prophecy was not mentioned for no reason, that day shall come to pass within the story. When the ghost grass (Others) closes in, the Stallion who Mounts the World (Azor Ahai) shall bring all the children (humanity) together to defeat the evil and survive. 

● ~Ser Jorah had explained that it was forbidden to carry a blade in Vaes Dothrak, or to shed a free man's blood. Even warring Khalasars put aside their feuds and shared meat and mead together when they were in sight of the Mother of Mountains.~

○ These lines explain just how important the laws of Vaes Dothrak are to the Dothraki. Khal Drogo himself was not exempt, and an outsider breaking the laws would be even worse. 

● ~"I will give my brother his gifts tonight… he should look a king in the sacred city…"~ Dany then tells Irri to purchase fruit and meat, no horse, so that she may sup with her brother. 

○ Dany desires a good relationship with Viserys, she recognizes him as her king and wants to make him feel more comfortable among the Dothraki by gifting him clothes meant for riding and fit for a Khal. 

○ GRRM uses pomegranate symbolism in Dany's story. The first moment being as Jhiqui is preparing the food for Dany and Viserys before he arrives. Pomegranates are one of the fruits specifically listed. In Greek Mythology, pomegranates were used to trap Persephone in the Underworld, and ever since this myth became widespread pomegranates have been used to symbolize a trap/negative outcomes in literature. What Dany is expecting to be a good night with her brother, will quickly sour. Big thank you to @rainhadaenerys for pointing this symbolism out in another meta, I would have never noticed it or started analyzing fruit symbolism in this story if I hadn't read it!

● All Dany wants out of her supper with Viserys is forgiveness for shaming him in the grass, she thinks to herself that he is her king and they are both blood of the dragon. Viserys comes raging into her tent since Doreah misspoke Dany's request as a command. She shows him the gifts that she had made for him and he asks her what all of it is. ~"New raiment. I had it made for you." Dany smiled shyly. He looked at her and sneered.~ 

○ She's so dang optimistic and gives him so many chances it hurts to read, poor Dany, but alas. Her hopes of forgiveness are about to be crushed.

● After he quips that Dany would want to braid his hair next and she tells him that he has no right to a braid, he is angry but does not immediately strike her. She is hurt by his insults against her gifts and the Dothraki. He grabs her arm roughly to dig his fingers in, and Dany feels like a scared child once more, until she grabs the medallion belt and strikes him across the face. She stands up for herself once again and tells Viserys that it is HE who forgets himself then sends him away with an empty threat. He says she will regret this day when he comes into his kingdom. 

○ Dany truly cares about her brother, but she is learning that no matter what, her attempts to build a better relationship with him will be ruined by his temper and sense of superiority. Her desire to have a positive relationship with her brother is not worth her suffering.

● ~Drops of blood had spattered the beautiful sandsilk cloak. Dany clutched the soft cloth to her cheek and sat cross legged on her sleeping mats.~ She tells her servants that they may have all the food she had prepared for her and Viserys. She has a dragon egg brought to her for comfort, the green and bronze. Dany thinks to herself that she feels stronger and braver when holding the eggs, as if she were drawing strength from the stone dragons locked inside.

○ THIS IS SO SAD 😞 Dany just wants a loving family and all she has is Viserys. No matter what she does he is consumed by anger and bitterness and takes it out on her since he feels like he owns her. I love that she gave her handmaids the food she had prepared, Dany loves to give gifts to people she cares about and I see this as her being generous and kind despite her situation. Dany is indeed drawing strength from the dragon eggs, just as the dragons are gaining strength from her as well. This is all apart of the subconscious magic Dany is taking part in to hatch them.

● Dany feels her child move within her, ~as if he were reaching out, brother to brother, blood to blood. "You are the dragon," Dany whispered to him, "the true dragon. I know it. I know it." And she smiled, and went to sleep dreaming of home." 

○ Rhaego reaching out to Rhaegal is so bittersweet. They would have been great together, but instead Rhaego's life will be exchanged for Rhaegal's in a tragic turn of events later on. 

○ This entire chapter shows a lot of Dany's characterization. She craves love and home and thinks that she can get that from her brother, but all she gets from him is pain and sadness. Time after time Dany is shown to love Viserys and respect him despite the weak, cruel man he is. She finally draws a line at physically harming her, especially since she is now pregnant and protective of her unborn child. Viserys realizes that she can no longer be controlled by fear or pain so he leaves her presence, telling her that she would regret this day when he came into his kingdom. At that point, Viserys had decided to go his own way and leave Dany out of it, and she is very obviously hurt by this. She finds comfort in her pregnancy and her dragon eggs. Dany also showcases her willingness to assimilate and learn to survive in this chapter. She has adapted to the Dothraki culture and continues to learn all she can about it. She embraces their livelihood as her own and considers it a gift that she tries to share with her brother. She wants him to be happy as she is, but that does not work. 

Thank y'all so much for reading, I really appreciate it 🥰 Art by Mark S. Miller, the ASOIAF graphic novel cover artist! Corrected from Tommy Patterson, should have researched better my bad.

[the-wolf-who-kissed-the-moon]

• Randvi x female reader 💋

a sapphire for your heart, part IV

Morning found you wide awake and restless. Your bedding was a mess on the floor and you were lying on the fresh straw which filled your bed. Nausea threatened to spill with every little movement you made; nausea from lack of sleep, and from overthinking. But with a bit of effort you managed to push yourself to sit and wash down the bile with a jug full of lemon water.

The day was promising. It seemed a lot of passers-by had stopped by the docks to bring news or tend to various local business, and many curious young men and women were flocking around Reda’s tend of exotic wonders. You made a careful selection of your own items and brought them outside for the visitors to see and admire, and eventually purchase. Saxon women were especially interested in your variety of colorful fabrics; bright teal, gold, and crimson shawls which powerfully contrasted their otherwise somber outfits. But it was your natural charms that convinced reluctant men to buy expensive gifts for their wives and daughters, and by noon you nearly sold out everything you’ve selected for that day.

All, but one.

It was an emerald green, pure silk scarf, beautifully ornate with golden threads and precious garnet beads. You were offered a hefty sum for it, but you declined with a smile and neatly packed it in your bag.

There were several locals and guests in the longhouse, chatting and enjoying the first course of their supper. Among them, you spotted a beautiful Viking with bright auburn hair and a jug of mead in her large hand. She was accompanied by several friends whom she chatted and laughed with; perhaps it was not the best of times to speak with her. But before you could take your leave, a dark-haired woman waved her arm and asked you to join them at their table. Randvi turned her head to look and when she saw you, she smiled the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen. Your heart raced like a hummingbird, sending little thrills of excitement through every cell of your being.

God… you were bewitched.

“You must be Sapphire! I’m Petra, it’s nice to meet you.”

The woman who beckoned you grinned as she made room for you to sit next to her, and right across from Randvi. You fiercely battled to keep your emotions hidden, to appear collected as you spoke with the people who would accompany you the next day in your treasure hunt. You’d be a group of five, with Petra helping you explore paths safe from dangerous wild predators, and the other three were warriors meant to protect you. A small, but capable group. You drank in their names, clashed jugs with them, and with Randvi, and promised a good journey tomorrow. However, there was a troubling feeling gnawing at your thoughts – the fact that she wouldn’t be there with you.

Soon, the longhouse was full of people dancing and singing, and enjoying the pleasant company of one another as they feasted. In the overwhelming loudness of cheering and music, you excused yourself and went outside to get a breath of fresh air. The night was crisp, sobering you up and lessening the ache at your temples.

“Were we too much for you?”

Your heart jumped at the sound of a beautiful familiar voice caressing your ears. When you looked back, Randvi was standing right behind you on the wooden porch. The light from within cast a glow upon her tall, godly silhouette, making her appear holy. You tightened the hold on your bag, momentarily deciding to postpone gifting her the shawl.

“Not at all. It was the smoke, it stung my eyes.” You answered with a smile.

She slowly closed the distance between you, and with a kind palm at the small of your back she encouraged you to walk with her further away from the longhouse. It was a simple, ghostly touch which lasted a moment, and yet it set your heart ablaze.

How cruel fate must’ve been to plant the seed of desire so deep into your core, only to watch you twist and struggle against the shackles of sapphic love. The way Randvi seemed to glow beneath the pallid moonlight was enthralling; the whole blanket of shimmering stars reflected in her deep cobalt eyes.

“How do you like Ravensthorpe so far?”

She asked.

You glanced at her briefly; beside the lingering smell of smoke in the longhouse and her anguished cries in the night, everything was perfect! But you wouldn’t dare say that out loud.

“It’s lovely. I’ve never been to a Viking settlement before. Your architecture and clothing designs are breathtaking.”

“Clothing designs?” She echoed, slightly amused; perhaps it was the mead.

“Yes. The fabrics you use, the intricate patterns and choice of color… the carvings in your shields and weapons. It’s beautiful.” You confessed with a smile. The way you spoke of her traditional wear made Randvi’s mirth dissolve into surprise.

There was a knot in your throat and your chest felt heavy, as if you were about to spill all the thoughts and feelings you’ve been silently enduring since the day you’ve been acquainted with her. The sound of the river reminded you of her pained, secret cries; you wanted to ask why. Yet all you could do was stand very still as you slowly lost yourself in the depth of her intense, beckoning gaze.

“What else do you like?” She inquired as she shifted from one foot to the other and crossed her large arms over her bosom. Her authoritative pose caught you off guard – heavens, she was a force you could not resist. Your gaze lingered on her dazzling eyes, and then slowly followed the trail of her sharp cheekbones and perfect jaw, all the way to her full lips.

“Your spirit.” You answered. “How your people fight – courageous, almost reckless, unified and strong. There’s something about you…”

Randvi’s interest slowly seemed to grow as she listened. You locked your eyes with hers again, and this time you couldn’t look away. It was beyond sinful to have certain thoughts about a married woman, and yet her allure was stripping you of all reason. If Sigurd was there, he’d probably raise a fist against you, and you’d be crazy enough to challenge him.

“I want you to join us tomorrow.”

Suddenly, you spoke.

“On the hunt you mean? I’m afraid I cannot. There is work I must tend to, here.” Randvi declined, albeit she was pleasantly surprised.

“Whatever work you have cannot be more important than such a great find – I want you to be there, to see the gold for yourself.” You felt as if you found a small grip on her will, and you weren’t about to let go. Something burned deep within you; a flame which would consume you whole if Randvi would refuse you again. Thankfully, she promised she’d consider it.

Delighted, you turned your head to hide a smile in the crook of your shoulder. All of a sudden, tomorrow seemed like decades away.

The graceful Viking walked you to each and every house of Ravensthorpe, introducing you to their current stores and notable landscapes to admire. The abundance of colorful flowers and their sweet smell was intoxicating, lulling you closer to Mother Nature’s chest. There was a soft bed of moss right beside the pool at the base of a waterfall, and that’s where you sat down to tell each other stories.

“Norway's mountains are quite treacherous. It snows heavily most of the year, and unless you’re an experienced tracker, you’d surely find your demise in those steep valleys.”

She spoke with a smile as she fondly remembered her homeland. You were intrigued, absorbing every word and watching her attentively as you learned about the Aurora Borealis and the myths of Odin and Freya, and ragnarok. How fiercely Asgard battled against Jotunheim, and how humans eventually outlived both gods and Jotuns. It was easy to picture these fables coming to life when Randvi told them in such refined detail and with so much confidence. There must’ve been a grain of truth to her words.

“Ymir's tear… I would die for that stone. I’ve heard stories of that gem scattered all over Asgard.” You sighed as you leaned back to stretch over that soft moss and gaze up at the night sky, in awe. You felt those precious blue eyes on you, yet you didn’t dare look, fearful that you’d lose yourself in them all over again.

“Sapphire is a very beautiful name.” She spoke, and you smiled.

“That’s not my birth name…” You confessed.

“Oh?...”

“When I was six years of age, I had this… feeling, as if I knew something was beneath my feet, pulsing, calling me.” You begun your tale and Randvi lowered herself on her side, watching you.

“I had this uncontrollable urge to dig, to see what lured me in and never let me sleep. I broke four of mother’s spoons trying to tear apart the dry, hard soil.” A brief laugh escaped you as you reminisced.

“At last, my older brother stole a shovel from the neighbor one night, and by morning we dug a hole thrice our size. The neighbor was furious, and mother was about to smack us when she saw what we did to our yard.

But then… beneath the damp, muddy floor of the cavern we dug, I felt it again. That urge, that call; I ripped the soil apart with my bare hands, and out I pulled a little satchel. Inside it were two sapphires. I can see them now… shimmering in the light of dawn… they felt sharp and cold, and fit perfectly into my hands, as if they were made for me.” You bit back a smile as you turned your head and saw Randvi, in all of her beauteous glory, propped on her elbow and watching you in awe. Her eyes were just like the sapphires you fell in love with.

“And then?...” She asked with vivid curiosity.

“Mother sold them to buy a farm. And when I was nine summers old, a cart with two travelers stopped by and took me. They promised mother silver, and that I’d be returned by fall with a bag full of precious stones. But… when we returned… We found the farm abandoned, burnt to the ground.”

Randvi’s gaze seemed to soften with sorrow, yet your grin never faltered as you shook your head.

“I kept on traveling, I saw the world. They called me Sapphire ever since, and I forgot my birth name as the years went by… The world, Randvi… it’s so beautiful…” You pushed yourself to sit, drawing closer as you whispered to her.

“Come with me in the morning, let us explore and travel together...”

Her auburn lashes fluttered, as if she was awoken from a trance. She took a moment to think, to find her words or collect herself; but when she turned to meet your gaze again, she answered with a nod.

“I will. I wish to see you dig for gemstones, to see your blessed hands pull treasures free from the earth.”

Your chest swelled with joy, and all at once you were buzzing with excitement.  

-          To be continued…

*part V.

[janeyseymour]

Wouldn’t Change a Thing

Hello lovely friends! Here we are again with some writing!

Jane Seymour was often left quite confused by some of the habits her fellow queens had picked up in this life. That being said, she wouldn't change a thing about any of them.

Can also be found on AO3 here! 

Jane Seymour was utterly confused at some of the habits the queens had taken up in this new life. Surely, she did some strange things herself, but some of the things that her fellow housemates had made a habit of doing left her flabbergasted.

I.

When Jane Seymour met Catherine of Aragon, the first word that came to her mind to describe her was stoic. The first queen had always controlled herself; she had her golden rule and had to keep her cool, if you will. Yet as the blonde continued to live with her in this life, she found this to be somewhat untrue.

Catherine of Aragon never lost her control when it came to bigger situations where one would often lose their cool, no. When her and Anne would fight, she kept her temper at bay and often walked away from the situation before it could get out of hand. Well, she had lost her temper once on Anne, and that had resulted in the first two queens not speaking for two weeks except for when they had to interact in the show. Since then, Catherine has learned to take the high road.

When Catherine did lose her temper, it was at the smallest things. In all seriousness, the blonde wasn’t even trying to get a rise out of Catherine this time. Yes, Jane Seymour liked to bicker with Catherine. It was fun to watch her get more and more frustrated and watch as she scrunched her nose up. The difference between Anne and Jane was that Jane knew when to stop and tell the first queen she was just screwing with her.

“Lina, I was just playing with you!”

“You’re so lucky I love you,” the first queen would grumble before pulling the blonde into an embrace.

The two were going on with their days as they normally would together: grocery shopping, doing household chores, and preparing to make dinner on their off night. Jane was pushing their cart while Catherine was trailing slightly behind.

“Lina, could we pick up the pace a little? We actually have to get home in time to prepare supper,” Jane chided as gently as she could.

“I wouldn't have to trail so far behind if you would’ve just picked a cart that didn’t constantly squeak! It’s driving me crazy, I swear!” The first queen suddenly grabbed the cart from her and pushed it to the front, leaving Jane in a stunned silence.

Jane stood there watching, almost as if her feet were glued to the ground, not knowing what to do. Catherine wasn’t one to just up and leave afterall, not over something this small. The gold queen left their cart unattended for a few seconds only to return with a new cart, and she began unloading their groceries from the old cart to the new one. She kicked the squeaking cart once in anger before pushing the new cart back over to the blonde.

“There,” she huffed. “Now I can keep up with you.”

From that day on, when Jane and Catherine went grocery shopping together, the third queen made sure to test the shopping cart she chose to make sure it didn’t squeak.

II.

Anne Boleyn was an enigma as far as Jane was concerned. She could never predict what the green queen was going to be doing at any given moment. Jane had accompanied the hyper queen to the mall on a rather gloomy day, a place where she hadn’t been yet. The idea that so many stores were all in one location absolutely baffled her.

“I just think it’s crazy that all of these stores are in one big building together. It’s quite a lot of things to look at,” Jane stated wondrously.

“It just means I get to look at more things that I can’t afford but desperately want! And, I get to... spend time with you,” The second queen trailed off at the end of her sentence. She wasn’t usually one to express her happiness to be with the others, but she meant it.

“I’m glad we get to spend time together,” Jane pulled the girl close to her and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for asking me to come with you.”

“Well, yeah. It’s nice to do things with you,” she giggled as a thought popped into her head. “Once in a while.”

Jane couldn’t conceal her grin as she feigned hurt feelings and gently pushed her predecessor before pulling her back into her arms.

The two had been wandering the mall for quite some time when they found their way to a shoe store.

“Jane! Jane! Look at these shoes! They have wheels in them! I have to get them! Please, please, please, please-”

“Anne Boleyn.”

“Please, please, please-”

“Anne, you can get them, but I’m not buying them for you. This is what you have your own money for.”

“Well yeah, but I thought you would-” she cut herself off. “Nevermind! Thank you!”

For the next coming weeks, months, and years that the queens lived together, Anne rolled everywhere she could: to the theater, around the block, in the theater, around the house- everywhere. One silly purchase made Anne’s life so much better. Jane couldn’t quite understand why the girl needed wheels on her shoes when she could just walk, but if it made the girl happy, well she wasn’t going to be the one to stop it.

III.

Anna of Cleves was another one that was quite a mystery to Jane Seymour. At various times throughout the day, Anna could be seen eating whatever she pleased. The catch? Unless Jane herself had heated it up for her, the food was almost always cold. It’s not that Anna couldn’t heat her food up; she just couldn’t be bothered to.

For once, the blonde wasn't the first one awake this morning. Anna had stated the previous night she was going to wake up early in order to get a workout in before the family’s day off had taken place.

“Okay love, just try to be back before breakfast!” Jane smiled as she closed her door for the night.

Jane walked downstairs and into the kitchen in a slightly sleep driven haze, but she was excited to cook breakfast for her girls today. Jane had figured the fourth queen would still be out and sliding into her seat at the dining room table just as breakfast was served, not an uncommon occurrence. She shuffled to the coffee pot and turned it on before being startled by a chipper,

“Hey Seymour!” The blonde quickly turned around, not having seen the fourth queen when she walked into the kitchen moments ago.

“Cleves! You startled me!”

“Oh, sorry about that.”

“No, it’s my fault! I didn’t notice you when I was walking in.” The blonde grabbed a cup and began fixing it for her morning dose of caffeine. “What special food would you like me to whip up for our day off break-” The woman turned to face the fourth queen.

“Oh shoot,” Anna quicked stuffed as much of the pizza she had into her mouth.

“Are you eating pizza? At...” Jane squinted to see the clock. “7:13 in the morning?”

“Maybe?”

“Anna of Cleves,” Jane sighed. “Is it at least warm?”

“Uh,” the fourth queen drew out. “Yes?”

“You and I both know that is a lie.”

“Yeah it is. I don’t know, I just don’t mind my food being cold!”

“It’s weird, you know.”

“Oh Seymour, I know.”

Jane often found her fellow queen eating cold foods. Whether it was pizza, or wings, or even something as strange as pasta, if Cleves was eating it without the third queen being there, it was almost always a guarantee it was cold.

“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Jane sighed as she made her way around the kitchen.

“Yep!” Anna of Cleves happily dove into her food.

IV.

Katherine Howard was one that was almost always near Jane Seymour. The only times the two were ever really seen apart for longer amounts of time was when the group all retired to their rooms for the night. Even then though, Katherine had made a habit of slipping into the silver queen’s room in the middle of the night. But that wasn’t the habit that Jane found to be strange. In fact, the blonde rather liked that the pink haired queen was able to confide in her for just about everything. No, Katherine Howard had quite a few strange habits.

On a night where Jane wasn’t able to sleep, she had slipped out of her room as quietly as possible, having memorized which floor boards in the house creaked. A few steps later however, she noticed the fifth queen doing the exact same mannerisms as she was; taking large steps to avoid the creaking floor boards and making it through the house seemingly unnoticed. The third queen made her way down to the kitchen just as quietly as the fifth queen had although a few steps behind. With the younger girl’s face in the fridge, Jane made her presence known.

“Kitty?” The pink haired queen jerked into an upright position almost immediately.

“I promise I’m not doing anything wrong, I just got hungry, and I didn’t want to wake anybody, and I’ll just go back to-”

“Kitty dear, you’re not in any sort of trouble.”

“I’m sorry for eating the food and for waking you up. I thought I was being quiet,” Katherine went to push her way past the blonde but was stopped when she was pulled into a hug.

“This is your house too. You get to eat all you want. You didn’t wake me. I was coming down to make myself some tea because I couldn’t sleep either. You have nothing to apologize for.” The rigidness in the fifth queen’s body seemingly melted away at the vocalization that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Do you do this often? Find yourself down in the kitchen late at night?” The girl shrugged. “You know, I’ve never noticed.”

“I kinda figured out how to make it through the house without making a noise. You know, because I had to back then.”

“Well, you certainly don’t have to do that now you know,” the silver queen reminded her. “Now, why don’t I whip up some tea, hot chocolate, and a quick snack for us?”

Since that night, Katherine knew she didn’t have to silently make her way through the house late at night, but she still did, especially when she thought her mother was asleep. Most nights, she was successful. Every once in a while though, Jane would find her making her way down to the stairs as quietly as she could. And every time that happened, the blonde would wordlessly make her way down too to make some drinks and food.

The nights of Jane finding the younger queen in the kitchen had become few and far between now. Now, Katherine found herself more often than not seeing if Jane wanted to accompany her on her late night endeavors before finding herself in the warmth of her mother’s arms.

V.

Catherine Parr was less of a mystery to Jane Seymour. It was a widely known fact that the writer struggled with sleeping at the right time of day and needed coffee to keep her upright most days. But still, the habits that Cathy had taken to were quite strange to the third queen.

“I just get more inspiration at night!” Cathy sputtered as the third queen went to close her laptop for the night.

“Love, I know you do. But it is 2:43 in the morning right now, and we have a show tomorrow. You need sleep.”

“You’re awake too!” She rebutted.

“I was asleep before Kat came into my room. I’m heading back to bed right now, and I advise you to do the same.” The blonde placed a gentle kiss on the sixth queen’s hair before walking out of the room. She stood outside of the door for a few moments to see if her words had done anything. Seconds later, the sound of Cathy’s quick typing was all the proof that she needed to know Catherine Parr was going to be exhausted tomorrow.

“Coffee?” Cathy mumbled as she stumbled into the kitchen.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” Jane handed her a cup off coffee just the way she liked it.

“I got like 4 hours,” the coffee addict muttered. “I just had to finish my thoughts or I would’ve forgotten them.”

“Okay, well we have a show at 2, so please be ready to leave the house by 12:30.”

12:25 had rolled around, and the rest of the queens had managed to get themselves into Jane’s van, but Cathy hadn’t left her room since she made a short appearance at breakfast.

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Jane muttered as she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. “Anne Boleyn, do not think this gives you permission to get into the driver’s seat. You’re not driving!” she threw over her shoulder as she walked up the driveway to the house.

“Catherine Parr! Where the-” Jane opened the door to Cathy’s bedroom to see the girl curled up in a ball and asleep under her desk..

“Cath,” the blonde bent down to shake the sleeping figure.

“Huh?” the writer jolted awake. “Oh hey Jane. I was just catching up on some sleep before we have to leave for the- we have to leave for the show now, don't we?”

“Yes dear, we do. Everybody else is in the car. I can give you five minutes to gather yourself and be outside, but after that, I can’t promise Anne or Kitty won’t come in here and cause you trouble.”

“I’ll be out in five.”

Most days, the third queen walked into Cathy’s room to see the writer hard at work. On those days, she had extra coffee ready, and was unphased whenever she saw Cathy asleep in some of the most obscure places. Sometimes, it was backstage at the theater, others, it was a corner in her room as opposed to the comfortable bed three paces to the left. No matter where she was though, if it wasn’t her bed, Jane found it quite strange.

With all of this being said, Jane Seymour wouldn’t trade her fellow queens for the world. Sure, Catherine of Aragon would break over small things. And yes, Anne Boleyn preferred to roll around instead of walking. Of course, Anna of Cleves ate any of her food cold if Jane wasn’t there to warm it. And her darling Katherine had figured out the floorboards much like she had. Like mother, like daughter, or so they say. And Cathy fell asleep in uncommon areas at various times of the day. Yes, they all had their strange quirks, and Jane knew she had a few too, but she wouldn’t change a thing involving her queens. They were perfect just the way they were.

[arotechno]

The Heartless: Chapter 4

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Chapter IV: in which ignorance is bliss

The next day found us in the next town over, a small farming village full of stout cottages and open pastures. Petra briefly suggested we snag a few vegetables from whichever farmer’s harvest looked the most plentiful, an idea I promptly shot down with a reminder that we don’t steal. She was not deterred, however, and I caught her more than once snatching a handful of berries or an almost-ripe cucumber out of some poor family’s garden.

On one such occasion, I caught her literally red-handed plucking raspberries off of a row of scraggly bushes behind a small cottage overgrown with vines snaking up the walls around a weather-worn wooden back door.

“Petra, how many times do I have to tell you to stop?” I scolded. “Every time I turn around you’re at it again. I thought we agreed before we left home that we weren’t here to steal.”

Petra stood up from her squatting position between the rows of bushes, dropping a handful of berries into her bag. “How many times do I have to tell you that I have done this a hundred times and have never been caught?” she retorted.

“You have been caught, Petra. Need I remind you yet again that I saved your life?”

“You and I both know that had very little to do with the food.” Petra stared at me incredulously, challenging me to argue further.

I took the bait. “Okay, fine, but that doesn’t change the fact that this food belongs to someone else.”

“Does it, Ace? Look around you!” Petra gestured broadly around us, at the overgrown house and untended garden rows full of weeds that came up past our ankles. To our right stood a run-down stable that looked like it hadn’t seen use in a very long time. I was beginning to consider the possibility that Petra was actually right when the back door clattered and a woman’s voice rang out over the garden.

“Do I know you two kids?” the voice asked, its owner scurrying through the garden towards us, holding a baby of no more than several months at her hip.

Serves me right, I thought, frozen in place at the woman’s approach like a deer at the sound of an arrow being unsheathed. Petra quickly hid her hands behind her back and kicked me lightly in the shin as if to say, be normal in front of this woman or I will leave you here and never come back.

“Sorry, ma’am,” I apologized when the woman stopped several feet from us, her free hand placed on her other hip. “My… sister doesn’t have any manners.”

At that, Petra kicked me again, this time not so lightly, though the motion was obscured from the woman’s view by the row of untrimmed bushes between us. I stifled a wince at the pain and shook my ankle discreetly, ignoring the odd look the woman gave me and every instinct in my bones telling me to run.

“Sorry, ma’am,” Petra echoed softly, sheepishly presenting her overflowing hands to the woman, and I bristled internally at how polite her tone was when she had kicked me moments before.

“Keep them,” the woman urged, to Petra’s quiet surprise. Then she examined our ratty clothing and, turning to me, she asked, “Are you both orphans?”

More or less, I thought. “Yes, ma’am,” I said aloud. “We’re on the road.”

The woman seemed to mull it over for a minute, rolling the idea around on her tongue for a while before she proposed, “Why don’t you help me clean up this place a bit? I’ve been so busy with the baby, lately, and there’s no one else here to help me. I can’t pay you, but I can give you some food and a place to sleep. I don’t have any spare beds, but I do have the stable. It’s been empty for quite some time, but there’s still plenty of hay to sleep on, and I may have some extra blankets.”

I had an excuse that I had been preparing the entire time she was speaking ready on the tip of my tongue when Petra broke in with a resounding, “We’d be honored, ma’am, thank you so much!” that gave me no room to protest.

“Wonderful! Let me put the baby down to sleep and then I’ll show you where the tools are.” The woman shifted the baby’s position on her hip and turned to go back inside. She called back over her shoulder, “My name is Esther, by the way!”

“I’m Petra, and my brother here is Ace!” Petra called in reply. Esther smiled wide and entered the house. When the door shut behind her, Petra turned on her heels and fixed me with her most exasperated expression.

“Why did you say yes? We could be caught!” I hissed before she had a chance to open her mouth.

“Caught doing what?” Petra shot back. “She already caught me stealing and is still choosing to be kind to us!”

I lowered my voice. “What if she figures out what we are?”

Petra narrowed her eyes at me. “How is that you’re the one who has lived on the outside and yet you’re more worried than me?”

“Because you need to learn that the more you press your luck, the closer you get to someone finding out the truth, and that never ends well.”

“You need to learn that not everyone is out to get you all the time. It’s not like you’re walking around with a big sign over your head that says, ‘Hey, look, I don’t have a pulse!’ If anything, acting like a paranoid weirdo all the time is what’s going to put a target on your back!”

I was going to argue further, but Esther returned then, carrying several baskets not unlike those we’d seen at the market the day before. She set them down amongst the raspberry bushes and gestured to a battered wooden bin by the back door.

“There should be some garden tools that my husband left behind over there,” she explained. “But let’s say we start by picking these berries before the animals get to them, and then next week one of the neighbors can take them to the market. That sound good? You can eat as many as you’d like—Well, not too many. I’m going to make some beans for supper.”

That seemed like an amicable enough arrangement, so I agreed, and Petra and I set to work while Esther went back inside to check on her sleeping child. We spent the rest of the afternoon filling basket after basket with the garden’s best raspberries, and taking breaks to lie back in the sun-baked dirt whenever Esther would come outside with something for us to drink or another story she wanted to tell.

When the blazing sun had just begun to dip below the horizon, Esther poked her head out the back door and called, “Supper is almost ready. Would you kids like to come inside to wash up?”

The prospect of “inside” felt daunting to me. Crossing the threshold into this strange woman’s home felt like overstepping some unspoken boundary, one that existed only in my own head to separate the relative safety of emotional distance from the dangers of familiarity. Out in the garden or in the forgotten stable, I could be merely a passing stranger. Entering the house, even if only for a few moments, felt like encroaching on something intimate and personal. Nevertheless, I trailed behind Petra into the tiny cottage, leaving my anxious thoughts in my wake.

The back door led into Esther’s small but lively kitchen. The windowsill was lined with tiny potted herbs, and in the corner stood a faded wooden table surrounded by three chairs to match. At its center sat a vase of striped carnations that made the whole house smell vaguely sweet. The walls were adorned with old portraits and photos of children and happy families, many with Esther and a man I assumed to be her husband. Esther stirred an old pot on the stove, the wood crackling softly as it slowly burned itself out. The baby could be heard cooing somewhere in a different room.

We ate our beans by the light of a small lantern out behind the house where it was cooler, out of small wooden bowls with delicate silver spoons that had clearly seen years of use but still managed to shine in the last fading sliver of sunlight.

Esther was a lot like that herself. She was a kind woman, soft around the edges, but she carried herself with the self-assured air of a person who knew she only had herself to count on. As the moon rose above the trees to replace the blistering sun, she told us about her life, as the baby slept in her arms. I learned that Esther’s husband had vanished on her about a year ago, leaving her to tend to their small farm by herself. She had been pregnant at the time and unable to work, and as time went by she was forced to sell what few animals they had and most of their equipment, leaving behind only what we saw before us. Since then, the farm had fallen into disrepair, and while it seemed clear to me that Esther’s neighbors were supporting her, I knew all too well the feeling that it simply was not enough.

“It gets a little lonely sometimes, with just me and the baby here,” Esther confessed. Then she smiled. “You two are welcome to stay here as long as you’d like. I welcome the help, and the company.”

I glanced down at my side, where Petra had already dozed off in the grass, before looking back at Esther and saying, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

I swallowed hard and averted my gaze out over the rows of raspberry bushes, the question laying heavy on my tongue. “What do you think it means to be alive?”

Esther hummed. “I think that would be different for every person. But to me, the point is to be happy, and to be a good person. Nothing more.”

I nodded. For the briefest of moments, I thought about telling Esther the truth. But the fear of being rejected, or worse, quickly swallowed that idea whole, and just as quickly as the thought had arrived, it was as if it had never existed.

The baby blinked back into wakefulness and stuck out a chubby arm towards me. Unthinking, I reached forward, and the baby pressed its tiny hand against my palm. The contact elicited a soft inhale, but I was left breathless. Esther merely chuckled. This baby, this precious child, knew nothing of curses or of what unexplained evils my calloused palms might hold. To them, we were one in the same, two pieces of the same star, floating under the same sky. I could never be sure if it were true, but that night, I had never been more certain of it.

 After supper that night, Basil and I sat in the tall grass behind his house, waiting for the fireflies to emerge as night fell over the village and the woods just beyond the yard. The summer heat was fading slowly into the gentle warmth of night, but I could not sit still.

“Stop fidgeting or the fireflies will get scared away,” Basil urged in a whisper.

I hesitated, twiddling my thumbs in my lap. “Basil, do you think that story Marcus was telling us is true?”

My best friend tensed momentarily. “About the curse? Why do you ask?” His voice was uncharacteristically flat, as though he were trying to keep it from wavering.

I shrugged in response.

"Well, I mean, I don’t think it matters if it’s true.”

“Maybe.” I paused. “M-Maybe we can go ask your parents if they’ve heard of it before.” I pushed up from the ground to walk back to the house.

“Don’t!” Basil’s hand quickly reached out and grabbed my wrist, sending me falling back to the ground. The fireflies rose from the grass and scattered.

Horrified at the contact, I tried to pull my arm away, but Basil had a vice grip on it. “W-Why not?” I yelped.

“Because if you tell them about it, they might send me away!” he blurted. We stared at each other in shock; Basil didn’t move, but a certain desperation had suddenly filled his eyes. A single brave firefly landed on the hand around my wrist, glowing against his skin, but still he did not move. As realization replaced desperation Basil slowly released his grip at last and quickly averted his eyes toward the dirt. (I wondered if he had noticed I had no pulse.) After a moment’s hesitation I reached a cautious, shaky hand out toward him, but he flinched and pulled away. Instead, I grabbed his hand and pressed his palm against my chest, ignoring the ingrained urge to flee that began to buzz beneath my skin. Basil tugged for a moment, until I felt his hand go still and saw the panic in his eyes settle into calm confusion; when I let go, he brought his hand to his face and stared at it in disbelief. Basil’s expression evolved quickly from shock to awe to relief, and when he tackled me to the ground in a hug, I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, and I cried at the feeling of being understood for the very first time.

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Part I: The Crown Equerry | Part II: An Accidental Queen | Part III: Just Claire | Part IV: Foal | Part V: A Deal | Part VI: Vibrations|Part VII: Magnolias| Part VIII: Schoolmates | Part IX: A Queen’s Speech | Part X: Rare | Part XI: Watched | Part XII: A Day’s Anticipation | Part XIII: The Location | Part XV: Motorcycle | Part XV: Cabin

I have been so touched by your guys’ reaction to this story. These two are a departure from my usual take on Jamie and Claire, but I love them all the same.  Thanks for sticking with me and for sharing your love of them. 👑💜

small bit of ;nsfw beneath the cut

Her Royal Highness (H.R.H.) Part XVI: Market

Claire hopped from foot to foot at the edge of a murky puddle as Jamie attempted to strong arm the shed door into sliding open.  His abashed declaration that he did not have an umbrella, bent at the waist in the front hall closet, led them to become creators together.  On the front porch, they tented a blanket over their heads before darting across the front lawn to the shed. It had been a completely ineffectual attempt to stay dry.  Laughing, he had fixed the blanket in her small fists before braving the rain to fight the door. It protested viciously before finally relenting with a groan.  Giving him a firm pat on the bottom, Claire slipped into the shed and groped along the wall for a light switch.  When she found it, the room sizzled to life beneath a yellow glow, revealing a seafoam green pickup with a chrome grill.

“It’s no’ much,” Jamie opined, rising to the door’s stubbornness with his own and pushing it the rest of the way open. “Pre-war, a bit rusty, but dependable. It should have a full tank and working heat.  Ye’d no’ thank me for a motorcycle ride in this weather.”

“It’s perfect.”  

He made a responsive Scottish noise of disbelief, followed her gaze to his father’s truck, and dried his hands on his trousers.  

“I mean it.  It’s perfect.”  

She ran a finger along the hood of the pickup, trying to remember the last time she had been alone in a car with a man.

Never.  

Drivers.  Staff.  Never even with Lamb or her father.

The answer was that the Queen had never been alone in a car with a man. 

And quite suddenly all she could think of was being Claire alone with Jamie.  In another life, her real life, there was always someone else there. Breathing and occupying her space.  Someone waiting to dote on the Queen. To select a wardrobe and costume her for events in gowns or well-tailored skirt suits. To whisper the names of politicians in her ear as she feigned a detached recognition of parades unremarkable faces. To select the courses of her meals for her, to serve them on historied porcelain and in cut crystal.  

She wanted to tell Fraser that it had been an entire weekend of firsts, but the notion seemed soppy and overly sentimental.  So she kept it tucked away in her mind’s file folder, where she was going to keep the memories of this weekend.

The first morning waking up to his eyes studying her, hand hovering over her cheek. Realizing what his first arousal of the day looked like.  (Hazy blue, pouting lips, sluggish fingers.)  The first shower with a man, slippery hands and soft noises becoming heavy in billows of steam.  (His arms around her. The fact that he did not bother to ask if she needed the water hotter, just knowing and turning the hot tap full on.) The first weekend afternoon with a lover –– no umbrella, pouring rain, a pickup truck, the hastily constructed grocery list of two people who rarely were called upon to make their own meals.  Though chilled to the bone by the rain, the soft, warm domesticity of a weekend in a kitchen had her floating. (The negotiation of a pair over what was for breakfast, the touch on a lower back when passing utensils from a drawer to a hand.)  

Though Claire lived a life defined by the constancy of others’ presence, this was the first stretch of days through which she had not felt lonely in a terribly long time.

Rather than divulging all of these firsts, she commented instead that he looked to be soaked to the bone.  He smirked, commenting that he was in good company.  

He opened the door for her, gave an exaggerated bow, and earned one of the laughs that sounded so sweet to him.  The ones that overwhelmed her small frame –– lifted her shoulders, tipped her head, made her touch her belly as though there were something there to contain, fighting for release. The laugh made her eyes go iridescent –– the color of approaching autumn and a dusky moment of silence before a thunderstorm, the burnt leaves escaping a bonfire to crawl over velvety night to meet sky.

He rounded the front of the pickup, slipped into the driver’s seat, and let the keys drop into his palm from their hiding spot in the sun visor.  With a silent prayer on his moving lips and a turn of the key, the truck roared to life.  

“Will everyone in town know who you are?” she asked quietly, suddenly a little self conscious despite her bravado in declaring her ordinariness the night before.  She squeezed the rainwater from her dress, giving him an apologetic smile as it dribbled onto the floorboard.  “I mean, if they know you, they’ll know I’m not your wife.  Where you work.”

“No.”  His voice was firm, sure, but she asked again.  Are you sure?  I mean, really sure?  Angling his body, he looked at her, really studied her.  She was nervous.  It glowed through her usual formality.  Became apparent in cider, whisky, and firelight. She was stanzas of poetry begging to be written in his hand.  “I’ve no’ been to this town since I was a lad.  I was a tall, skinny thing wi’ spots enough to make a firehouse dog jealous.”

“I am having great trouble picturing that.”

“Believe it,” he hummed as he put a hand on her knee, rubbed a finger across the small, silver scar that he had identified there earlier that morning.  (“Three stitches.  Breaking out of the girls’ dormitories after curfew with a few other girls.  I was fifteen.  I thought Lamb would kill me, but he laughed.”)  She shivered. “Do ye want to go back inside?”

“No, I––”

“––to warm up?  I can go to the market––”

––she shook her head, licked her lips––

“––just pop in quick for a few things.  Come back.  It’s twenty minutes there, another twenty back.”

Though her dress had become a plaster cast over her thighs and the peaks of her breasts, he had gravely misinterpreted the shiver.  It was his familiarity that made her tremble, not nervousness. It was the sensation that they were meant to be together.

“Turn the vents on full blast.”  She shook her head again, this time almost violently.  “I’ll be better than fine.”

Unconvinced, he shrugged, turned up the heat, and pulled out of the shed.  

In the twenty minute ride to town, Claire learned a lot about Fraser.  He could not sing, hum, nor whistle. He could not find the rhythm in a song or carry a tune in a bucket. When he tried to wink at her, it was such a garish contortion of his usually beautiful features that she collapsed backwards into the seat in a fit of giggles. The laughter made the very core of her body ache.   He set his jaw every time that he slowed to a rolling stop, carefully looked both ways, and held his breath before he again accelerated.  He draped an arm across the seat behind her as he backed into a parking spot as he finished off a story about the family dog giving birth behind the Christmas tree one year.

In the overbright, lightly populated market, Jamie learned that common things awed the Queen of England.  So common, that Jamie imagined that shopping with her was a lot like what it would be like to shop with a readily impressed child.

Tinned peaches. (“My father loved them with cottage cheese; he ate them for dessert, and I haven’t had them in years,” she explained as she pulled three cans off of a shelf in her small hands, spilling them into the trolley.)  Icebox cookies speckled with candied cherries and nuts. (“I could eat a thousand,” she declared with a guilty look and an easy tilt of her head.)  A butcher’s case stuffed with various cuts of meat, the front lined with vibrant green paper grass and the trays sitting on lacy paper doilies. (Her fingers pressed against the glass as she turned to look at Jamie over her shoulder, face cracked apart in a smile. “A pork chop supper? It’s all I know how to cook that’s at all special.  It was La-” she paused, offering a smile at the butcher who was taking a bit too much of an interest in his delighted patron. “It was my uncle’s favorite.”)

She became wistful as they meandered down an aisle of baking supplies.  “My mum had the best hand at baking,” she declared, voice pitched low.  He pushed the trolley, bent forward at the waist, resting his weight on the handle and watching her.

“Mine, too. Hated it, but she was the best.”  

Her fingers traced the front of heavy bags of sugar and flour, the scarf in her ponytail swishing with each step.  “I was too young to remember much of it.  But cakes and biscuits, fudge at the holidays.  We had our own house… still Crown property, but not… well, not anything like....”

She faded away.  The quiet, rubbery click of her stacked heels stopped, and her wandering fingers suspended just over a can of sweetened condensed milk.

He took another step, pushed the cart out ahead of her, surveyed the aisle.  

Alone.

“Jamie, I do not know what to say. I am afraid that I am a little sentimental for some reason. I have not been in a market in years.  I remember my mum boiling cans of this.”  She studied the label, brows furrowed. “It sort of turns to a caramel.”

He closed the distance, took a can from the shelf.  “Let’s give it a try.”

This time, she was the one to survey the aisle, then went to her tiptoes and placed the most delicate of kisses on his lips. “You aren’t the least bit worried that I’ll burn down your cabin?”

Grimacing in mock confusion, he shook his head.  “No. Ye’re goin’ to do this over a campfire in the back.  Really roughing it.  I willna let ye near the stove after the mess ye made of those sausages yesterday.”

Laughing, she kissed him again.  When they got home, something inside Jamie roared to life and easily became wild for her. After braving the rain from the shed back to the cabin, her dress had become a second skin. It made her into a statue. An exceptional Bernini, the sensual weight of her limbs barely contained by fabric draped and carved of marble. The curls that had been so warm and dry in his bed and beneath his fingers only hours earlier were cemented against her cheeks, coiling around her throat, charting a perfect map for his mouth to follow.  With the bags tipped over, spilling contents onto the floor, he came up behind her and drew her backwards, followed that map, went off course, and poured into her all of the need that dwelled inside of him.

They made love there in the entryway, her body molding over the back of the couch and his hand on her spine.  He wrapped her in a flannel shirt after, kissed the tip of her nose.  In the late afternoon, she made her pork chops, boiled potatoes, and a green salad as he poured them each a drink.  Afterwards, they had fallen back into bed together. Her tongue was earthy with sage and whisky, her lips swollen and her mouth emitting tender sounds.  He tasted her beneath the hem of the flannel, her thighs clamped around his ears.  She returned the favor with a gusto that made him gnaw a bite mark over his knuckle.  

They talked for hours until the slow rise and fall of his eyelids fell, throwing his words into a slowed stupor that eventually stopped.

The rain did not abate overnight.

Claire listened to the landing of every drop, her touch molded to muscle (chest, bicep) and his face tucked close to the curve of her throat.

She did not sleep.

In the earliest part of morning, he woke slowly, eyes still sleepy.

“Hi there,” she whispered, pushing a curl back from his forehead.  Bees buzzed in her mind.  A thousand (a million) thoughts came to life, knocking against the edges of the hive. With an exhaled “hmmmmm” deep from his belly, his eyelids drifted closed again.  “Are you going back to sleep?”

“I’ll no’ ever sleep again now that I ken ye’re awake,” he slurred into the pillow.

His breathing slowed and she gave him a gentle jab in the ribs. “Sleepy little liar.”

“I’m just resting my eyes, Sassenach” he mumbled, cracking one eye and looking up and down her thin form.  “Did ye have something in mind? To keep me awake?”

“Once more,” Claire whispered, bringing a knee over his hips and settling against him.  “Before we go.”

Once more.  Before we go.

He hadn’t the heart to tell her that he had planned on having her at least twice before they packed up, but the surprise of waking to her wanting him was like Christmas morning and his birthday all at once.  

The curtain of her curls that fell forward from her top of her head painted a shadow across her face in the waning moonlight.  Tightness in his belly made him shift just slightly beneath the slight weight of her.  The naked parts of her radiated wet heat through the thin cotton of his briefs.  He reached for the buttons on the flannel shirt (he would pack it and bring it home; he would not wash it, it smelled like her now), but she shook her head and pushed away his fingers.  She made a meal of undressing –– a slow, seductive disrobing.  The last button undone, the fabric fell open and exposed nothing more than the midline of her torso.

A roving hand slipped into the back of his shirt to find her lower back, urging her forward.

“I need you inside of me.”  

He grunted quietly in response as she slipped the band of his briefs over his hips, her fingers struggling between the sheets and his bottom to free him completely.

“Insatiable, are ye, lass?”  Sleepiness made his voice syrupy and his accent thick, but his eyes.  Those glowed blue in the dark, awake and sparkling as though somehow lit from within.  She smiled, through the uncomfortable thought that had roused her (going home) and led her to straddle him (not having him there like this), still dwelled at the front of her mind.  

“I am.  Insatiable.”  For you.  For this.  For us.  

“I can see right into yer mind, Claire.”  A single hand on the center of his chest as she rolled her hips along the length of him, her throat creaky as she swallowed.  

‘Can you?’ she thought. ‘Everything changes at first light. Sunday morning. This life in this cabin isn’t real.’

He guided her body so he could feel her (exquisite, slick, and soft; clearly having been ready long before he woke), and found the ache of his horrible yearning morph into a painful need.

“Is that so?”  

“Aye,” he said evenly, eyes focused on hers as he surged into her. She worried what he could see on her face as they joined and she bowed herself forward, burying her face where his shoulder met his throat.  On top like this, she was almost too full with him, yet needed more.  Her hesitancy made his hips lift, pressing them even closer.  

“Christ,”  she hissed as she ground back down over him, wondering if he could see the words at the back of her mouth or if he saw only images flashing across her brain.

All of their waiting.  

Their nights with Brimstone and Donas.  Their thinly-veiled innuendos dropped easily for the other to pick up from horseback.  The separations at the end of the night that ached, long glances as steady fingers readied the horses for a night of rest, and incidental touches that gathered a multitude of meanings like arms full of wildflowers.

“Okay?” he asked, one hand on her waist and another reaching for her cheek when she pulled back up, straight, and started to move.  

She relocated his hand from her face to her breast, and moved against him slowly.  “Perfect.”

All of their hesitancy.  

The day he stood before her in the stables and told her in no uncertain terms that he did not know if he could wait for her.  When he laid bare his conclusion that what they were doing was wrong as long as she had promised herself to another man.  For her part, unfaithfulness to another seemed to be only a petty crime then.  To be unfaithful to another, just so she could know Fraser in all that he was.  To wear an affair like a second skin for a summer (the season that she said they could use to sate their hunger for one another before she married), and then to wear it from her wedding day onwards forevermore as a crown of thorns.  

Her name fell from his lips, pleas to the God on whose name she was Queen, and hisses of profanity followed.

(Claire.  Oh God.  Oh fuck.)

She fell forward again.  This time into his mouth, breasts crushing against his chest as she kissed him.  He rolled them, taking her wrists and pinning them above her head as he took from her the sensations she had withheld. Crying out beneath him (last name first, first name last –– Fraser, then Jamie), she let her hands go slack, cinched her eyes shut.  She had thought very little of what would happen if she had him without an expiration date occasioned by a marriage.  He released her wrists, kissed her, tucked a hand between their bodies, and slowed his hips as she finished.  

Pulsing. Gasping.  Weeping.  Finally.

Her fingers found his face, held it as his universe burst moments later.  

Spent, he laid heavy over her, marveling that he could feel her fingertips travel the length of his spine.  Feeling remained there when he had convinced himself long before that the mangled, puckered flesh was beyond sensation.  Goosebumps broke out along his forearms and he nuzzled his face closer to her.

“What are you thinking?” she asked eventually before placing a single kiss in the space between his clavicles.

“That ye’re no’ ever so beautiful than ye are when ye’ve been loved.”  She felt so small against his chest, his hand cupping a single buttock.  “Tell me what is in that curly heid of yers.  I ken it’s sittin’ somewhere far, far from here.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, adjusting.  “I said on Friday that I did not want this to end.  Now…”

When her voice trailed away and her face dipped, he took her gently by the chin.  He finished for her.  “Now it is.”

“Exactly.”  

She could have washed her face in a new round of tears at the way that his lips quirked into a half-smile.  “Och, weel, we’ll be back.”

“But until then… how?”  

Loving him seemed like a felony.  Subjecting him to her life.  The flash bulbs.  The adulteration of this place, the quietness of the cabin and the sleepiness of the town that they had visited. The expectations that would be foisted upon him.  She had little doubt that he would take it all for her.  That he did love her, but the fact that this weekend was not an infinity rattled her.

He swiped away the line of tears accumulating at her lower lashline.  “Ye’re thinking too far ahead, Claire.  Wondering if this can work. How it can work.”  

She just hummed in response, closing her eyes.  “Sassenach.  What does it mean?”

At this, he snorted, kissed the tip of her nose.  “An English person.  An outlander.”

Seemed right to her.

[lotus0kid]

LoBT/OUaT: That Familiar Sunrise

((400th follower fic prompt from @woobienation:  Could I talk you into a bit of Barnelle, Nostelle, or Macelle? Perhaps a chance encounter at a party, since we’re heading into that season?

Well, not exactly that, but kinda close!  Based on a spoilery idea I got after watching the movie.))

Barney Thomson likes the quiet.  It’s safe, it’s familiar.  At his best, he’s a quiet man.  Francis Ives is not quiet.  That’s not to call him loud.  Oh no.  But the air seems to vibrate around him in a way that’s hard to explain, and impossible to ignore.  He can say a lot with just the angle of a smile.  He’s the kind of man who could ride into town on a black horse, save the villagers, and ride off with no one ever learning his name.  He’s in every way Barney’s opposite.  Which made it totally inexplicable from top to bottom when he introduced himself quite cheerfully as Barney’s father.

“It’s really rather embarrassing that she slipped my mind for so long.  But I was walking in a market in Bangalore when I caught a whiff of some delicious rava idli, and it all came back in a flash.  More than two hundred years on God’s Earth and she’s the first and last Cemolina that ever crossed my path.  Lovely woman- well, perhaps not quite… But we had fun.  Condolences, of course, though I suppose we can bless her memory for finally bringing us together.”  He paused, gazing at Barney with a look far warmer than anything he’d ever experienced. “My own son.”

 So, clearly Ives is barking mad.  But Barney’s found that doesn’t make him bad company.  He’s in every few days for a shave, and always stays for a wee chat. It doesn’t take long before he times his appointments to just before Barney’s lunch break, so there’s really not much excuse not to spend time with the man.  Even if he’s fucking certifiable.

 One such day, they’re leaving the chips shop around the corner when a feminine voice with an Aussie lilt floats over Barney’s shoulder, “Um, excuse me.”  Assuming he likely dropped some change, Barney pauses and turns, and finds the most beautiful woman in the world looking straight at him. “Sorry, I know this is rude, but I just had to ask, is it true you’re the man who survived the Bridgeton Butcher?”

 Barney gawps at her for a moment like a landed fish, his gaze darting to Ives, who simply raises a brow. “I, ah, survived maybe isn’t the right word.  He never came after me, he just… Was just a coworker.”  Barney’s glad for the business his wholly unexpected legend brought to the shop, but these days he prefers not to think about the string of dark days in which he learned about the startling fragility of the human body. And how monsters can hide under familiar faces.

 The woman lets out a soft laugh, “I’m sure that was well close enough.  Anyway, sorry again.  Um, I’m Belle French.  I’m over at Game of Thorns.”

 She extends a perfect hand. Barney hastily wipes the sweat off his own before daring to perform a business-like shake.  “Barney Thomson, Henderson’s Barbers- but,” he winces, “I suppose you know that.”

 “I gathered, yes,” Belle replies lightly.

 Her smile is like sunshine, dazzling Barney until he feels a nudge at his side.  “Right, and this is Francis Ives.”

 “Barney’s father,” Ives says with a short bow, hand placed on his chest.

 Belle nods, then frowns, her gaze jumping between the two men, her fully functional brain drawing the obvious conclusions.  Panic swirls in Barney.  “Right, well!” he cries, voice jumping to a reedy register, “Very nice to meet you, Miss French, very nice indeed, but we need to be going.”

 “Oh, yeah, I’ll- I’ll see you around then.”

 He’s already grasped Ives’s elbow and is towing him away.  Still the madman calls over his shoulder, “I guarantee it, Miss French!  Au revoir!”

 “You cannae say that to people,” Barney hisses in Ives’s ear.

 “Why not?”

 “Why not?  Because it’s-”  He bites back the word insane as he spots a cold, hard glint in eyes that are undeniably similar to his own.  “Look, just… give it a rest, will ya’?”

 Ives sighs, and the glint melts into the usual soft warmth.  “I shouldn’t have left for so long.  But you know how it is, time gets away from you.  Especially when so much has gone before.  And it only picks up speed, you know.  Decades pass like weeks to me now.  Perhaps you’ll understand someday.  But… I don’t think you’re ready.  Not yet.”

 The race is neck-and-neck over what’s more discomfiting, Ives’s talk of being Barney’s father, or his talk of living far beyond any normal human lifespan.

 “Anyway, Belle French is beautiful as the reddest rose, isn’t she?”

 And a new challenger comes from behind to win it all!  “I hadn’t noticed,” Barney says, lying more extravagantly in three words than all his babble to the cops.

 Ives is quiet for a beat before murmuring, “Perhaps you should, lad.  Perhaps you should.”

 Barney rolls his eyes, and they continue their walk back to the shop.

 --- 

Time carries on, and Francis Ives carries on his presence in Barney’s life.  It’s not very long before the other barbers decide Ives is all right despite his peculiarities, and soon he’s gotten himself (and by convenient extension, Barney) invited to football and boxing matches, happy hours and birthday parties.  Not long ago Barney might have proclaimed he had no interest in such frivolous social engagements.  But that’s easier to say when you’ve never been invited.

 A little voice in Barney insists this will all come to an end somehow, whether with a bang or a whimper, though preferably not in a literal sense.  However, when his thoughts turn in that gloomy direction, Ives always seems to turn up.  He’s said he intends to stay as long as he can.  Which, according to him, is when people start to notice he isn’t aging.

 “Or, if you feel I must leave…” Ives prompted, still with that now familiar soft warmth in his eyes. “No!” Barney hears himself blurt out, “No, no, it’s- you’re fine.”

 When he can pry his mind away from bleak pessimism, the real trick is keeping it from wandering to Belle French.  It’s bloody embarrassing, honestly, him thinking on a lovely, intelligent young woman like her.  She’s kind too, often popping her head out of Game of Thorns for a short chat when Barney and Ives pass on their walks.  He might assume it’s just Ives’s undeniable charm that wins her attention, but oddly the man stands by mostly silent while she and Barney catch up.  Or maybe Barney just doesn’t notice him the way he usually does.  Everything seems to fade into the background when Belle’s there to look at, and talk to, and make smile.

 One day, an aspect of Barney’s most pathetic dreams comes true when Belle shoves her way out of Game of Thorns and runs down the street toward him with an absolutely radiant beam spread across her face.

 “Barney, I closed the deal!” she cries, grasping his forearms when she’s close enough and all but dancing on the spot.

 He barely manages to look over to the empty shop that’s been gathering dust beside Game of Thorns for ages. “So, you’ll be able to expand?”

 “Yes!  French’s Flowers, Tea, and Books will be open for business in a matter of months.  You’ll come to the grand opening, won’t you?”  She blinks, and glances to Barney’s right, “Oh, and you, Francis?”

 “We wouldn’t miss it,” Ives answers, draping an arm around Barney’s shoulders, “Congratulations.”

 “Thanks.  I’m so excited I can barely see straight.  But there’s so much to do, I don’t have a minute to spare if I want to open at the start of the next fiscal year.  I’ll see you both later, okay?  Bye!”

 She lets go of Barney to whip around and dart back inside, and he immediately wills his memory to record exactly what the sweet pressure of her hands on him felt like.  Meanwhile, Ives leans close to murmur, “What wonderful news.  We need to get you a new suit.”

 If Barney sees almost nothing of Belle in the coming months, he consoles himself with the knowledge that it’s because she’s busy becoming a permanent fixture on his street.  When the day of the grand opening finally comes, he manages to resist Ives’ orders to buy roses, though he quails under his stern warning, “Don’t you dare buy her carnations, lad.  She’s not a granny on her death bed.”  They settle on two dozen white and yellow daisies.

 While Barney’s stomach twists itself into knots as they walk, Ives’s lets out a long, low growl. Barney shoots a glance toward him as he pats his abdomen with a pained look.  “You okay?  You dinnae have lunch today.  Your supper disagree with you?”

 Ives’s gaze wanders skyward. “It disagreed most vehemently, I’m afraid.  But now my stomach’s remembered how to be hungry.”

 “Well, let’s hurry on then, before the nibbles are gone.”  If Barney wasn’t so nervous about seeing Belle on her big day, he might have realized that Ives never takes more than a few bites when they go to lunch.

 Balloons and streamers decorate the face of the newly-minted French’s Flowers, Tea, and Books, a charming florist-café-bookstore filled with color and air and light.  Barney actually feels able to take a calming breath when he’s stepped inside from the outdoor patio, despite the number of people packed in among the shelves and displays.  He still takes a moment to run a palm down his suit and over his hair.

 “You’re going to be fine,” Ives says.

 “Right, thanks, Dad- Francis- Mr. Ives.”

 It’s too late.  Ives beams like the sun, both hands pressing over his heart.

 Barney gives him a feeble glare and turns away to look for Belle.  His heart jumps when he spots her by the till, but just as quickly sinks when he sees the strapping man leaning over her, his chiseled face executing a cinema-perfect smile.  Barney has never felt older or uglier or more pathetic in his life, which is a hard record to beat.  Clearly if he has any sense he’ll stick the daisies in one of the vases for sale and scarper. If Belle sees him and this man side-by-side, she won’t be able to contain her laughter.  Like an imp standing next to a knight, hardly recognizable as the same species.

 He’s half-turned to make good his escape when Ives strides forward, leaving Barney to scuttle along behind and pray he doesn’t say anything insane.  “Ah, Miss Belle, what a fabulous event this is!”

 “Hiya, Francis, thanks,” Belle replies, then tilts her head slightly to peer around him, “Barney? Oh, I’m so glad you made it!”

 Barney barely manages to contain the “Why?!” begging to explode from his lips, and instead thrusts the daisies in Belle’s general direction.  “Ah, for you.”

 “Oh, they’re lovely!” she exclaims while taking from the bouquet from his limp, damp, trembling hand, “Daisies for new beginnings, right?”

 “Naturally,” Ives says, “We wish you all the luck as you begin this exciting business venture, not that I think you’ll need it.  The interior design is absolutely stunning.  Just walking in is like traveling from Glasgow to Paris in a single step.”

 As if Belle could get more beautiful, a pink flush blooms on her round cheeks as she breathes in the scent of the daisies.  “Thanks, again.  Actually I based it on the shops I saw in Paris.  Traveling there was a dream come true for me.”

 The Adonis hovering nearby coughs and says, “You know, I would’ve brought flowers, I just thought they’d get in the way of- of the other flowers.”

 “Of course, Gaston,” Belle assures him, “Francis, Barney, this is Gaston Muscat, a friend of my father’s.”

 Gaston blinks, “A friend of yours, you mean.  A close friend.  We’ve known each other for…”

 “How wonderful to meet you, Gaston,” Ives declares, grabbing his hand and pumping it enthusiastically. He hangs on, and actually reaches with his free hand to clasp Gaston’s elbow while leaning away from Belle.  “My, what a grip you’ve got.  What line of work are you in?  Please, tell me everything.”

 Barney quite suddenly finds himself face-to-face with Belle while Gaston and Ives move a few steps off. She smiles, and the entire English language deserts him.  He slowly cobbles together a few halting statements, “It, uh, seems to be going well. The event.  The opening.  Here.”

 Far from bursting into laughter, a nervous look passes over Belle’s face, “Seems so.  You don’t think it’s… too much?”

 “No, no.  It’s…”  He can’t conjure any bits of poetry like Ives did, so he goes with the truth, “I feel like I can breathe here.  Which can be difficult.  For me. Sometimes.”

 Her smile returns, wider and warmer than before.  Barney feels it down to his toes.  She takes him on a tour of the whole shop, barely pausing to acknowledge other guests and customers and always returning swiftly to him.  Barney asks every question he can, if only for the pure pleasure of hearing her voice and witnessing the workings of her mind.  The existence of Gaston and even of Ives drifts far away.

 Quite suddenly it seems he and Belle are among the last few people in the shop.  Belle slips her arm free from where she looped it around Barney’s at some point.  He feels at least ten degrees colder with its absence.  “Well, I should probably help with the till, see how much we made on our opening day.”

 “Right, of course.”

 “I’m so glad you came.”

 “I’m glad I stayed- that is, I mean, I enjoyed… being here.  Spending time, with you.”

 Somehow he has managed to bring that rosy blush to her cheeks all on his own.  “Yeah, same.  Um, do you want to get dinner sometime, with me?”

 His entire throat seizes up with shock, so all he can do is nod.

 “Great!  Tomorrow, at eight?  We can meet here, and just wander until we find something good?”

 “Y-yes.  Definitely.  I would love to.” “Okay.  Until then, Barney.”  She reaches out and scoops up his hand, giving it a squeeze before letting go.

 Barney floats from the shop, and down the street, and all the way back to his flat.

 There he finds Ives. And Gaston.  Or, what remains of Gaston.  The rest is being sliced up into neat, meal-sized portions by Ives.  Barney’s feet feel nailed to the floor as waves of cold horror wash over him.

  Ives, meanwhile, looks up with an apologetic grin through the blood.  “Oh dear, I really thought you’d be- well, occupied with Miss Belle tonight.  Not to worry though.  I’ll have this cleaned up in no time, son.  Promise.”

[chubbychasershortstories]

Early Lessons - Chapters 5, 6 & 7

Chapter 5: Linda, John and Butch

There was a sweet girl about my age working at BK at that time named Linda. She always seemed to smile through the grueling work and I had no idea how she managed it. I worked really hard, but I wasn’t particularly happy while doing it.

We ended a dinner shift together at 10pm and as we left, we headed down the same street. I offered to escort her home as we didn’t live in the safest of neighborhoods. She accepted, thanking me, and asked me in when we made it to her apartment.

We chatted and got to know each other better while sipping on sodas. She was a very warm and caring person. I suddenly had a strange urge and just blurted it out, “I’m gay.” I had never admitted this to anyone I wasn’t in love with. Her response was, “Wow, I’ve never had a gay friend before.” She called me a friend on our first meeting and it felt great. She seemed totally intrigued and asked me questions I hadn’t even considered and couldn’t really answer, given my limited experience.

She opened up to me too and told me she was almost 18 now and had been kicked out of her home for dating someone her parents disapproved of vehemently. The two were married in a civil ceremony 2 months later and shared this apartment. He worked construction on a 10 days out - 4 days in schedule. I really liked John when we met and the three of us would party together and shoot pool at a nearby hall.

Linda had already explained to John that she had a gay friend now and he took it in stride and never made any untoward comments about it. I really respected him for that. We were in Texas after all. The second time we met, John gave me a hug when he got home right after giving Linda a hug and a kiss. He thanked me for being a good friend to Linda. He said he felt better about leaving her alone knowing I would be there for her. It felt really good to have close friends from whom I didn’t need to hide anything about myself. It felt very liberating.

I soon met Linda’s ‘lover on the side’, Butch. He was a reform school kid about our age. He had a very lanky build, weighing barely more than I. He had reform school tattoos that looked horrible and a peculiar haircut with the straight bangs cut at an angle across his face, high to low. He was an exhibitionist as well and I ended up watching him plow Linda with his massive cock on the day we met. Massive didn’t cover it. His cock looked to be 14 inches in length and as thick as a can of beer. I’m not exaggerating. Linda had her head thrown back in a rapturous pose. Butch kept looking back at my awed expression and looked quite pleased with himself at my stunned reaction. Afterward, he would often come by my garage apartment on his own to chat and party and we had a decent friendship of our own going.

John’s current work project finished before the 10-day mark. He arrived home at mid-day unexpectedly and heard a huge commotion in the bedroom. Butch had barely scrambled out the 2nd story window leaving the screen in tatters. John pressed Linda for what was going on and why the window had no screen left.

I heard a knock on my door. It was John with Linda in tow. She was staring at the ground. “Did you just jump out of my bedroom window?” he asked, incredulously. Linda had fumbled for her explanation on his return and resorted to accusing me since John knew I would not have been screwing her behind his back. She really didn’t want to admit to the truth.

I answered, “No?” wondering where the question would have come from. Then the pieces fell into place in my mind. “You LIED to me!” he directed at Linda as she started to cry. “Who WAS it?!?”

I asked them to come inside and talk about it. I don’t know where I found the “wisdom” having no experience, but I sat them down and walked through having them explain what their needs and expectations were. I told them I could feel that they belonged together and that they should work on accommodating each other’s needs to make their marriage work. Otherwise, one or both of them would be suffering until they would inevitably have to break it off. They agreed and worked out a new set of boundaries that they could both accept so that they could remain together in a more honest arrangement. They both hugged me hard and thanked me before leaving for home, hand in hand. Who would have thought that an inexperienced, gay 16-year-old could be a successful marriage counselor?

Chapter 6: The Descent

At work, I continued to outpace every other worker with at least twice the production. I learned my work ethic with my first job at age 5 reclaiming salvaged bricks from demolitions with a hand hatchet and huge screwdriver for a penny a brick.

I had been closing on the weekends for 3 years now. I always hustled while others plodded overnight. I was a smoker and really needed at least a drag or two but wasn’t going to ask for a break. So, I had my smoke in my mouth and lighter in hand as I hustled out the back door with another full trash bin on wheels, headed towards the dumpster in the back of the parking lot. Without missing a beat, I lit the cigarette and enjoyed a partial smoke while quickly dumping the trash and bouncing back. I stomped the smoke out in stride as I hit the back door buzzer.

The closing manager was a tall, skinny Hispanic guy who really didn’t like me for some reason. I think it was straight up racism, but I had tolerated his “white boy” comments and extra assignments without protest. He called me into the tiny back office as soon as I cleared the door. “There was a District Manager parked down the block and he saw you smoking and told me I needed to fire you right now.”

It was 3:30am and I knew he was lying and that he had seen me go out prepped for my partial smoke and was just using the situation to harass me again.

“I know you’re a fucking liar, but here, let me save you the trouble.” I spit my words and pulled my dorky BK uniform off in one motion and threw it into his chest and left. I had another kitchen job in 2 days. Unfortunately, they failed to let me know it was only seasonal and would end with the University’s home-game football season. To my complete surprise, I was laid off in mid-December. This time the job market sucked and no one was hiring. I was set to lose my lease on New Year’s Day.

Chapter 7: Rock Bottom with Butch and Richard

When I let Butch know I was unemployed and about to be homeless, he talked with his roommate and benefactor Richard. Richard decided to take me in, as he had Butch, although neither of us had any resources. He said it would be fine. He laughed and told me I could ‘sing for my supper’ and sleep on the couch. He liked my jokes and loved to hear me play and sing. Richard was very average looking and about 23 years old, I believe.

I was wondering how he could be so generous on his meager salary as an electronics assembler at the Texas Instruments plant. He arrived home on the afternoon of our first Friday as a household grinning like the Cheshire Cat holding his $120.00 weekly paycheck. How could he be so pumped to be holding a weekly check that only covered a third of the rent on his 2-bedroom apartment? I soon found out.

“Come on!” he shouted on the way to his old beater of a car. We piled in and drove by the bank to cash his check then on to his “connection’s” place. With $100.00, he purchased 20 ¼ gram packets of what I later learned was some of the purest crystal meth to hit the city in ages. They called it ‘Crank’. I was clueless but didn’t let on. We sped over to Party A and quickly unloaded the stash for $200.00. We repeated the process, doubling up leaving Party A with $400.00. Back we went to purchase twice the volume then and headed to Party B. $800.00, then $1600.00. I couldn’t believe what I was a part of. I had seen the stuff being snorted at Party A, but at Party B the product seemed to disappear into a back room where the door was always kept closed. I found out later that the users in the backroom at Party B were injecting the stuff. 7 of the IV users migrated to Richard’s apartment to continue the action. I had been given lots to drink and smoke at these parties and was fairly well lit when we got home around 1am.

There was a guy that I was attracted to among the 7 tagalongs. Feeling very uninhibited, I was deep in conversation with him when Butch moved into my side with his back to me while grabbing my right arm off the back of the couch securing it out of my sight in front of him. I tried to finish a thought I was expressing to the cute chubby guy when I felt a sting at the crease of my elbow. Butch held my arm tightly so I couldn’t move. Without my knowledge or consent, Butch and Richard had just mainlined me with 5 of the individual user packets worth of the stuff prepped for a syringe, 1.25 grams. This was apparently my “cut” of the action, along with $50.00 cash.

Before I could get an explanation, the solution pumped through my heart and up to my brain. It felt like being strapped to a rocket. I could feel my rapid, pounding pulse at my temples, ears and neck. After maybe 15 minutes, the initial rush was replaced by a complete sense of euphoria that lasted the majority of 2 days before subsiding. Day 3 was HELL. Every cell in my body ached and yearned. I was grateful that the supply was exhausted or I would have begged, borrowed or stolen for another dose to regain the euphoric effect.

Butch and I were home alone having not slept or eaten yet on Monday, Day 3. That’s when I found out that Butch was Bi. He asked if I would have sex with him. He told me he had wanted to ever since his exhibition show with Linda. He had helped me out of a tight jam and I felt obligated but uninspired as I agreed to try. I warned him there was no way I could take it like Linda had. He assured me he didn’t expect that. Surprisingly, he wanted me to screw him. Try as I might, I couldn’t get my equipment to function for him in my compromised and unenthused state and he settled for a combination BJ and two-handed jerk. I could barely get the head of it in my mouth while guarding my teeth. The experience made me feel hollow inside. I vowed to never have that sort of sex again. Neither Butch nor Richard were my type and I figured they’d expect me to pay for my room and board by having sex with at least one if not both of them. I knew I couldn’t continue down this road. Staying with Butch and Richard would turn me into a meth addicted sex toy.

Stay tuned. More to come.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Real feel: mother fucking wear your gloves!!

So 36 cars all sweept in most with red Xs

19 cars altogether got pulled over

2 cars got arrested I saw one being towed away. Almost 3 did but he self soothed himself and calmed down.

My dad (uncle) came and every car left in the parking lot took off in flight.

Denise the clone also came. She can't jump stsrt a car so she expected me to wait for her then wait for a tow truck and my dad knew we were gonna get in a fight cause ita too dam cold for that and she's on her rape cycle and I refuse to get in a car with her. Because it's annoying and I don't want her feeling satisfied she can breathe the same air as me.

It's 5 minutes, 10 at most to jump. 45 minutes to wait for a man and its like 20 minutes to the store.

And i learned how to jump start without lighting the cables on fire, now. Lucas says "oh please! That's the best way!" But not really. It doesn't actually work...

I have no circulation... So I was ice cold in like 10 minutes. So it would had warmed me, tho.

But yeah dad pulls in and suddenly everyone acts like they're escaping jail.

.... I know i should just went in and stared at that super hottt clone hottie that was super super hot and stocking water... But that IS kinda creepy even if he is Just a clone... I was all driving by in my Wal-Mart wheelchair cart and I was all whoa... Is he..? Wait i gotta see l.. Because he squatted down with his hot warm balls beneath him and so I was all lets stop right here in the middle of life and discuss what's on our shopping list until he comes up from behind the pallet...

"Oh my God. Now i see why I was so in love with you William" while my heart literally leaps from my chest bounces back and goes out of rhythem while pounding through 2 shirts.

So then we laughed at my reaction for half hour

Dam he was rugged and hot...

One time I picked up William early for work and I seen him and he ducked behind some concrete shelving used to block off the street from traffic...

And oh my God...

I was walking and I seen him and I was all "oh does he loo--" and he looked at me, i swear and ducked and so i was all "well I'm gonna go see. I don't think William will mind.. Its not like i totally think hes sexy but he might be... I'll just go see... Is it William..?"

Because he was waaaay sexier at work than home... Like there it's all comfy and fun and sexy but this was outside and he looked all sparkly and God like like yum

Now he claims he saw me and saw "a woman on the prowl way too sexy to be at the job site for any work related reason" so to be safe from a kidnapping situation he decided to hide

And hide he did

I leaned over to peek and he kept hiding and hiding and asked some guys at the truck "is she gone?"

"No"

One asked "why are you hiding from your wife?"

"Man! I got one at home! Well i am engaged. Man is she crazy? Does she look it?! Fuck man! Im gonna be so busted! I need to get home! I can't get kidnapped! Fuck this!"

And my eyes got real wide and the guy at the truck just shrugged cause i was all what do i do?!?!

So i kinda jumped and leaned over real far over the cement shelving. "Well HI!!"

I was gonna ask him if he thought i was a psycho bitch then to my face but i slid on the plastic and unfortunately I was wearing a shorter dress than usual.

So he stood up "ma'am I'm just checking the paperwork ill be right back" and ducked again.

"Baby! Uh hi! Baby I don't want to yell but I think i just showed everyone my thong!!"

"What?! Okay i have to finish the uhh paperwork. Man my wife ain't even here shes at home finishing up supper or something"

"Uhm baby! There's a lot of men here which one do you want me to go home with?!"

"Uh any!! Just not me!!"

Mind you everyone is looking at me and him and listening. This is outta control and m6 husband does not say that shit to me, i tried being solid now it was fight time. So i leaned over the other end of the cement wall he loved more than me and lowered my voice "hey psst yeah. Psst William man that crazy bitch is gone now. Jump in the truck and we will take you home!!"

"Really?!?!" He lowered the clipboard he hid behind. "Oh... No.., see.., no i got a ride already!"

"Yeah with me you dumb goon"

"No in here see!" And he jumped in the back of the truck. "I finished the paperwork. Alright let's go!"

So i started to walk over and he jumped way far back in the truck

"Can you please help me? Are you the one i called?" I asked the guy laughing painfully through the whole ordeal.

He looked me up and down real hard "you sure you dont want me to take yoh home?!"

"Am i even at the right construction site?!?!"

"Yes you are. Here hand him this piece of paper." Then he yelled over "HEY WILL she called a little before lunch and left a note and asked if it was alright if she came up and surprised you and i said yeah.. I didn't know you would go a little crazy..."

"She ain't my wife!! Shes too sexy!"

"WHAT??? IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!! IM FUCKING COMING UP THERE YOU BETTER GET DOWN!"

"No fuck you bi-atch!!! Wait... Honey? Is that you? I recognize your fingernail because you smashed it the other day"

"Oh it's alright. Just come down" i pleaded.

"With the hammer..." He began walking towards me "let me see it" he looked at it. "Miiiiike if you ever do that again I'm beating the shit out of you." And he sat at the end of the tail gate "well i already got a ride home, with him."

"Okay fine"

"Wait let me see what you have in your hand. These are our keys!! These are mine you're not having them and not allowed in my house Like that... Dressed like a... A... Skank!!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Stay here and get gang raped?!"

"Jesus Christ okay babe prove to me you're my wife"

"Okay fine but don't tell me your sorry" i went around the truck and took off my panties wadded them up and stuffed them in his hand "they're your favorite"

"Yeah but everyone knows that!"

"Who do you tell? Who the fuck do you tell about your favorite panties?!" Like im beyond mad. And I am yelling.

"Yeah well where did you get that dress?! Whose money did you use to buy it??! Hmm?"

"Ive had enough of me" i tried to get MY csr keys back and he wouldn't let me take them "being mother fucking nice to you" he was stronger than me So i tried to armpit trick

"Fuck you being mean to me! Come here!"

"You'll tear my dress! No! My shoe!"

"I think she's really upset at me. I think I've upset her" I bent to fix my shoe and my dress didn't cover ... Anything... Back there. "Hey quit it will you?!"

"Just give me back the key to my car and keep every thing else. Fuck it. Im tired of you anyway. I cook i clean and i come to surprise you and this is what i get and I REFUSE TO CRY HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SO GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!!!" and i threw the paperwork in his face and busted his nose.

"I,understand you're my baby but did you need to hit me in the face and make my nose bleed?" He said calmly snd slowly

"Youre not bleeding, oh yeah you are. Use the panties"

So this bastard stands up in the back of the truck with my panties to his face and says "Hey Everyone, I'd Like You To Meet My Wife!"

"We've seen a whole lot of her already"

I turn around and there's not 5 or 6 guys anymore. There's 30.

"Oh shit" and I pull my dress down. "Can we just leave?! Please?!?"

"Yeah!! Lets go!!"

So he picked me up and rushes to the car with me and a bunch of dudes come around the corner and i tell him to put me down cause I can feel his hand on my bare ass.

So hes all "goddang it why did you dress so sultry?!"

"For my husband!!! who is apparently a God dang Ass Hole!!!!!!! when hes at work!!"

"Oh honey i didn't mean anything by---"

"Come on let's go!!!" As we rush around the corner there's like 50 construction workers staring hard. "I am never doing this again!!"

"Why?!"

"Hurry and please open the door!!" He reached across and unlocked it

I covered my face with my hands "oh my god oh no you're insane!"

"What? What are you saying to me?!"

"Don't you know you have PTSD? Male trauma? Because I Didnt!!"

"Well yeah I was kidnapped when i was like five!!"

"But you didn't even know me!?!"

"You never wear makeup and not dresses that short!"

"I do all the time!! I walk around partially naked all the time!!!" I looked at traffic "its just the lipstick here let me wipe it off"

"Thats better you could did that at the construction site!"

"Well i just put it back on in the car and I didn't know that's why you were freaking out and going insane on me!!"

"Put it back on?! Why the Hell?!

"I ate a biscuit"

"Why did you put it on in the first place?"

"Have you seen in my caboodle? I have a ton of it! When you get home, look!!"

"Okay alright i will"

"Where are we going? I thought we would go to Tulsa"

"Not now! I gotta go home to make sure you are --- you!!! Now come on!!

"You're the one driving"

"Its my car!!"

"No! Its mine and my dad's see the registration?!?!"

"That's it I'm gonna pull over. Let me see the mole that's on your thigh"

"Its not a mole! Its a freckle!"

"Fine let me see it And you drive!!"

"Okay Okay fine I'll let you see it"

He looks "ok you're you then!"

"Who else would i be?!?"

"A clone!"

"From the freezer?!? Come on! Not me! Let me drice then!"

"You're losing your cool and you never do!"

"Omg Jesus Christ are you kidding me?!?"

"Uhm no"

"I need to start smoking pot. We need to get our own place and we do then this happens."

"Smoking pot?! Uhm no! I do not think so! Here you drive then!! You're a nervous wreck. You need control"

"No i need sex but my husband is INSANE!! I try a nice surprise to be unspoiled and then this happens!"

"Who calls you spoiled?!"

"YOU DO!!"

"Jesus Christ! Do you want a hotel?!"

"What?! No we got dishes at home. They will get me unstressed"

"HON-EY!"

"I'm getting in the back seat PULL OVER!!"

"Now I'm talking! You think i want you to come all this way to go home?"

"BACKSEAT!!!"

As soon as the back Windows fogged a truck of his co-workers drove by honking.

When we finished he said

"We are going home because you NEVER do that to Me!!"

"It was a surprise!! And no im not driving! Im staying in the back seat!"

"You NEVER do that to Me either!!!"

"Well it's a surprise!!!"

I wanna cry he upset me so much so I'm,all screaming from my throat and it sounds all shrill and out of control and hes like trying to calm me down and I don't want to be upset and feeling like life is out of control but he really showed me shit i hadn't seen and I was scared to be at home because what was next? I used a different sauce because I was pregnant and so he throws me out into the street? Barefoot and all because i look different? So i just cried myself to sleep in the back seat of my own car because I didn't know what else to do and it was the only thing i could accomplish that day,

I heard the car door open and close...

He didn't go around the other side to open and get me out... It was dark and cold already.

"There's no one upstairs. Now what do you want to do?" He sat in the car

"I'll just go to my parents. I'll come get my clothes later"

So he yanked open the car door, jumped out, threw the seat forward, yanked me out of the car, threw me over his shoulder, put his hand over my bare ass and carried me up 3 flights of stairs.

Put me in the single comfy chair we had and made dinner.

He sat on a pillow on the floor next to me and fed me.

"What are we going to do if i get pregnant and my body starts to change?"

"Ill just take pictures. I'll use my Polaroid"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I had found out I wss pregnant that morning... Feeling sick like crazy... I took a test in the gas station bathroom. Wrapped it in my purse and went and bought a new dress and shoes and went home, took a bath did my hair and thought I had the whole day still so i should go surprise him at work and go out in Tulsa and make it special... Not days later after the whole town had to come over and seperate us from fighting cause I'm kinda crazy pregnant... And after 2 weeks of couple's therapy and he says "oh baby you're sick a lot i think you may be pregnant. You think?"

"Oh yeah i am. Check my purse."

He did take me out to Tulsa... And I was a bit sad... Because we had been through a lot since that day.. And i wanted telling him to be really special... Turned out he was.

.

.

.

I had taken Polaroid of myself that morning before i got dressed and one from the side and then one after. And wrote "oh!" "Baby!!" "Surprise!" And the date.

Cause I learned how to set the timer and take one of myself

So he went and got them abd said "okay im sorry i shouldn't yelled at you for taking naked Polaroids of your self. Now I see why you would take them. Okay?"

"I guess."

"DID I NOT APOLOGIZE RIGHT?!"

"MAYBE I DIDN'T YELL AT YOU RIGHT WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME!!"

He got up like he was fuming mad and circled me like a vulture i Put my arms up and he circled me 2x more then stopped in front of me and I put my hands on his neck

"Are we going to bed? Ill cook dinner after"

"Mmhmmm I'll help!"

[oajpw5f3-blog]

Help buying first car!?

Help buying first car!?

I have just finished my army training and so now I have about 8000 to spend on a new car, I have looked at the new clio, and corsas, does anyone have any other suggestions? Thanks all

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :bestinsureonline.xyz

SOURCES:

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