#but he's surrounded by people who don't give a single fuck that he's a obviously traumatised teenager

[schnuckiputz]

what if...what if after season 2 the hospital called the harrington's about steve and for once they actually picked up the phone.

what if, hopper, and the kids left him that night, safely tucked away in a hospital bed, and when they came back the next day, steve was just...gone.

at first, they think he just checked himself out of the hospital (because steve definitely is 'that dude'). but no, the staff assured them, his father came and took him home. but when they try to visit him, the only thing they find are a moving company and people packing away the harrington's entire house. the harrington's are just gone.

months later, nancy gets a postcard. it's beat up, the ink so smudged it's nearly illegible. there are just a few words: "they took me. trying to make my way back. steve."

in the end, it'll take nearly two years until they see steve again: when he rolls back in town in a beat-up truck just in time to help them stop the apocalypse. he's lost a lot of hair but apparently gained a sarcastic loudmouth soulmate and a fluffy haired metalhead on the way instead.

because, you see, two years ago, when richard harrington got to the hospital, he didn't care about how steve got injured but only about him getting in another fight. and he finally had enough of this problem child, who seemingly refused to fall in line with what was expected of a harrington. so richard harrington took his drugged up concussed son out of the hospital, loaded up his wife and a few clothes, and drove a few hundred miles to a boot camp in the middle of nowhere to finally get him straightened out.

[lovelybrooke]

I'm really tired of seeing people use the "AroAce is a spectrum" argument when it comes to Alastor, especially now that the show is getting more popular. I just want to talk it about it a bit, since y'know, I'm AroAce and have a lot of opinions on it.

For reference, I've been a on and off fan on Hazbin Hotel for a long time. The pilot came out around the time I was in middle school and it was a large part of my personality for my younger years. Obviously I fell off it as I got older, but my point still stands.

Alastor was the first time I ever saw a canon AroAce character (that I knew off, I wasn't aware peridot was AroAce), and It was amazing for me. I never got to see myself be represented in a show like that, and even if he wasn't explicitly AroAce, having the creator say he was was amazing, since a lot of the AroAce characters at the time were just popular headcanons.

So you could understand my disappointment when I'd go into fandom spaces and see him be shipped with other characters, be drawn in suggestive ways, and overall his canon sexuality be ignored. Now before you comment and say "Well, Aromanticism and Asexuality are spectrums, so there's a chance he's romance and sex favorable" I want to ask you a genuine question.

Do you think that Alastor is romance and sex favorable because in the show, pilot, or any other official media he is depicted to be that way? OR, do you just think he's romance and sex favorable because it gives you an excuse to write fanfic of him where he's in romantic and sexual relationships?

I have a feeling a lot of you believe it's the second one, but would never admit it. I haven't watched the pilot in a while, but after watching through the show, there hasn't been a single point where he is shown to be romance or sex favorable. Nothing hints to that or points to that in any way.

Because ultimately this isn't about making sure you are representing his character correctly, this is about you guys disillusioning yourself into believing he's romance and sex favorable to that you guys can put him as close to allonormativity without being called out for it. You do not care about real life AroAce people who are romance and sex favorable, you care about your own comfort. And it's easier to imagine Alastor as romance and sex favorable when in reality, he's only been depicted as the exact opposite.

Do you know how I know most of ya'll don't care about real life sex and romance favorable AroAce people? Because AroAce discourse is never ending on this platform. Not too long ago there was a poll going around that had people arguing on whether or not cishet Aromantic men were valid. Aromantic people are constantly villainized and treated like monsters for having consensual loveless relationships. Asexual people constantly have their own experienced denied to their faces, and are told time and time again that they don't actually exist. AroAce people are constantly having to prove that they deserve to be in the LGBTQ+ community, and every few months there is some stupid fucking person who created discourse about a what type of AroAce gets to be in the community, just to divide us and make us feel like shit. And you know what?

You don't care.

You completely ignore or are oblivious to real life discourse surrounding the identity you claim to be an expert on. You ignore real life AroAce people who tell you you're wrong, all while going to war over your right erase an identity you really know nothing about. You would never go this hard for real life sex and romance favorable AroAce people who are constantly told they don't exist, they don't belong in the community that supposed to except them, and that they are either mentally ill or damaged. You don't care about real life AroAce people, because unless they're Tumblr sexy men, they don't matter to you.

I acknowledge that romance and sex favorable AroAce people don't get represented enough, but at some point you have to acknowledge that it less about accurately representing the character, and more about changing characters who are canonically sex/romance repulsed so that allonormative people can be more comfortable with them. If you're someone who's AroAce, and you whole heartedly believe he's romance and sex favorable, good for you, I'm not gonna argue with you.

But if you are not AroAce, and you believe he's romance and sex favorable, I want you to reevaluate why that is. I'm not saying you can't ship him, or write your fanfic, or draw your art. I'm not the police. But please try and see it from a point of view of someone other than your own. Please try and understand why taking one of the very few canonically AroAce characters and weaponizing our own identity against us so you can justify the continuous eraser of said identity is kinda annoying.

Also please don't get heated in the comments, at the end of the day this is about a fictional cannibal, I just have too many opinions.

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b: I Sing A Song of Love ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 15C: You Can Do This If You Try

Wilmington, North Carolina

Labor Day Weekend, 1988

Oh, take your time, don't live too fast Troubles will come and they will pass You'll find a woman, and you'll find love And don't forget, son, there is someone up above…

 - “Simple Man”, Lynyrd Skynyrd (1973) [click here to listen]

“I really appreciate you helping me with this.”

Jamie shrugged, and took a long drink from the thermos of Gillian’s sweet tea. “It’s the least I can do. You gave me and Claire a place to stay this weekend. Away from everything. That’s a true gift.”

Dougal set his toolbox on a stump. “Thought you could use a bit of peace and quiet, here in the back country.”

Jamie nodded, and pulled his t-shirt over his head. “I think I’d forgotten what trees look like. Or the inside of a building that wasn’t an arena or a hotel.” He draped the t-shirt over the unbroken part of the fence, and bent to pick up one of the boards he’d hauled across the field in Dougal’s battered wheelbarrow. “The last time we were at a house was for our wedding – and it was Joe’s house, and we didn’t even stay there overnight.”

“I’m sure you’re staying in top of the line hotels, in their biggest suites. My guest room must be too normal for you and your bride.”

Jamie smiled, just a bit sadly. “I don’t know what normal is anymore, Dougal.”

Dougal fished in his pocket for a nail. “I won’t even pretend to understand what your life is like right now.” Carefully, methodically he hammered the nail, fastening the board to the fence post. “But I have to tell you, I’m so impressed you’re still sober.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Dougal rolled his eyes. “Oh, I can think of some reasons. Like, every single thing you were addicted to, is front and center of your life on the road. We talked about this a lot last year when you were with us at The Ridge. You’re back on the road – meaning, that all that shit is in front of you all the time again.”

Jamie nodded. “I remember. You said it wasn’t me you were worried about – it was everybody around me. That I was surrounded by people who enabled me.”

“Exactly.”

“Well – things are different now. I fired the bloodsucker that was my manager. I found Colum. I had some very honest conversations with him, and now all of those people and all the shit they used to put in front of me are out of my life. Plus, one very important new person is now in it.”

“And what does she make of everything?”

Jamie held up another board, and Dougal hammered it into place.

Giving him space.

“I thought I was ready to be back on the road,” Jamie added, after a while. “I really did. But I had no idea just how fucking hard it would be.”

He set the board against the fence post. Dougal began hammering another nail.

“And?”

“And…this time, I decided to just be open about it with everyone. It’s definitely gotten easier to talk about it – addiction, and sobriety, and recovery. And people do respect what I ask. They keep the substances and the groupies away from me. Obviously it’s still there – I just can’t see it.” He paused, thinking. “On the one hand I think they understand why I can’t be around that anymore, and they understand how terrible addiction is, and how fucking difficult sobriety is. But on the other hand – let’s be real, they know they have to listen to me and do what I ask. I’m the star of the show. I get what I want.”

Dougal took a nail out of his mouth, and hammered the other side of the board. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Jamie leaned against the fence post. “I think about it all the time. Drinking. Cocaine. Being in my dressing room with three girls at once.”

Dougal stood up straight, stretching. Squinting in the harsh midday sun.

“I don’t want to do any of that shit anymore, of course. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”

“And what exactly does that have to do with your wife?” Dougal asked patiently.

Jamie’s eyes were inscrutable behind his aviators.

“Because I flash back to the shit I used to do, and then I blink and she’s there with me, in the same rooms where I used to get really fucked up. And she holds my hand, and tells me she loves me, and then I tell her everything.” He jammed his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “I can be straight with her, and she doesn’t care. She wants to know all of this shit about me, especially the shit I’m really not proud of. Because it helps her understand what I’m working on, and why I don’t want to be that guy anymore.” He cleared his throat. “Why I’m not that guy anymore.”

“What does she say when you bring up all the shit you used to do?”

Jamie pursed his lips. “I know it hurts her. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt her. But I’d hurt her more by not telling her the truth.” He ran his fingers through his hair – almost back to shoulder length. “And every time I tell her something, she tells me something. What it was like to go through high school without parents. Or one time when her miserable excuse for an ex-husband hit her and she fixed her own busted lip in the bathroom. How she’d do surgery while high. How she destroyed pretty much all of her friendships when the pills became the most important thing in her life.”

A blue jay settled on the fence, chirping.

“I didn’t want to tell her all the shit about me, and what I’d do when I was using. The man I was. I don’t want that to…to trigger her or anything, and compromise her sobriety. But because we share it, and we talk about it, it makes us accountable to each other to not fuck it up.”

“So as much as you depend on her for sobriety, she depends on you for hers.”

Jamie nodded. “We’re tied together in so many ways, it’s insane. We are addicts. We were at the top of our professions and we were miserable. We’re terrified that one day we’ll wake up and the other person will be gone. And…” he swallowed. “When we’re together, when we love, it’s…I can’t find the words, Dougal. We waited for intimacy until our wedding night. And I’m so fucking glad we did. Because if I knew what kind of magic we can create, there’s no way I would have ever agreed to go on tour and spend even a few hours every day away from her.”

Dougal leaned against the fence post. “You never think that this could all be too much for her? It’s a tremendous amount of pressure. And both of you being in recovery just complicates things.”

Jamie pursed his lips.

“It’s like I told you last night – she’s my high. Knowing she’s there. Touching her. Sleeping beside her. Loving her…all of that keeps me grounded and focused. I wrote a song about it, and it’s the fucking title track of the new album. She’s my addiction.”

“But is that asking too much of her?” Dougal pointed to the tattoo above Jamie’s heart. “You don’t want to develop too much of a dependency. She’s not a drug. I know that love is intense, Jamie – you know my story with Gillian. But neither of you should completely lose yourself.”

Jamie shifted uncomfortably. “If you’re asking if I have other ways to cope with the stress – I have my guitar, and I have my wife. And I have a few people like you, who I trust. Right now I don’t have much time for anything else.”

Dougal crossed his arms. “You need to make the time. If not for you, for her. Especially if you’ll be touring next year. Going all around the world, far from home – your stress levels will be off the charts.”

Jamie sighed. “They already are. I’ve been having panic attacks.”

Dougal sat next to Jamie on the fence. “Has that happened to you before?”

Jamie shook his head. “Not until this tour. And not every day. We’re in early September, and we’ve been on the road since May…maybe fifteen times since then.”

“Is there one particular thing that triggers it?”

“Not that we can tell. Thank God Claire’s a doctor – she’s helped me figure out when it’s starting, and she helps me get to a quiet place away from everyone.” He swiped his eyes beneath his sunglasses. “I usually end up not being able to breathe, and crying, and freaking the fuck out, and my wife is the only thing that physically holds me together. It’s fucking scary, Dougal, and it’s so not fair to her. It’s yet another thing that stresses her out. She has had so much shit in her life these last few years, I can’t fucking stand that she has to see me like that. Deal with yet another level of my bullshit.”

Dougal turned back towards the house. Watched Claire and Gillian on the porch, shaded from the sunshine, enjoying the rocking chairs. Watched William chase around their dog Bram, knowing it would exhaust them both before lunchtime.

“I’ll be straight with you, Jamie, because it’s what you deserve. Claire told Gillian about the panic attacks, and that you were considering bringing a therapist with you on tour next year.”

Jamie crossed his arms. The flames and flowers of his tattoos flexed.

“Gillian and I – let us help you find someone. Someone you can trust implicitly. With the panic attacks, and with your sobriety, and in managing all of the stress. Someone who can help Claire, too. Because the last thing you want, Jamie, is to be in some random city in some random country and it’s two AM after a show and Claire is somewhere else and some asshole backstage has left a baggie of cocaine on your chair and you have a panic attack. And you’re all alone, or with people who you don’t want to see you like that.”

Jamie scuffed his boots in the grass.

“More importantly, you don’t want Claire to start resenting you, for being the person to hold you together.”

Jamie, surprised, whirled to face Dougal. “I don’t think – ”

Dougal raised a hand. “I’m not saying she ever would. I’ve seen you two together. What you have…it can’t be described. But don’t you agree, that you don’t ever want to do anything to fuck that up?”

Jamie pursed his lips. “I promise her every day that I won’t.”

Dougal stepped closer to Jamie. Grabbed his sweaty shoulder. “Then let me help you. Please.”

Jamie slipped off his sunglasses to meet Dougal’s eye. “OK. Thank you.”

Dougal smiled. “Consider it our wedding present. Now come on – just a few more boards.”

[xerith-42]

Alright. Talking more about Garroth losing his arm.

Garroth may be lucky, he is ambidextrous. Atleast in mystreet. So atleast we know he'll still be able to write. But what about fighting with one arm and so forth.

You've said that there will be a way for Garroth to learn one armed fighting, but it depends on if he can and wants to do it.

A few interesting notes here.

->It goed against Garroth's fighting style. I think it was you who made that post about fighting styles, with Garroth just packing any punch. One armed fighting doesn't go well with Garroth's fighting style. Getting used to this will likely be quite difficult. Would his armour be enough to just take all the hits?

And, what does he fight with now? What if he fights with a shield. Being like a shield to his allies. Relying on knocking others back. But this would make him pretty reliant on his allies to do the damage.

->if Garroth wouldn't be able to adjust, what would he do then? Is also a good question. Perhaps something with the medical skills he has in Diaries season 1? So he can still protect people in his own way.

Ooooh, all of these are great points and ideas to explore. That's what's always fun about Garroth's character is that he really can go either way just dependent on the circumstances surrounding his losing of an arm.

Even if he's ambidextrous, I don't think he trained using his sword in his left hand very much. He always trained in sword AND shield, always using them in tandem with one another and never on their own. While he could learn to use his sword and still fight, I feel like Garroth at this point would have enough humility to know when he's beat. To know that his days on the front lines are over.

All the guards and kids he raised and trained are taking care of their villages, and Aphmau in her quest to adopt every wayward guard she comes across is protected by plenty. Garroth comes back to a world that's moved on without him, and realizes he might not ever be able to catch up.

I really like the idea of him becoming a healer instead. Honing in on medical skills that he allowed to fall by the wayside previously and accepting that this is the best way he can help. There's obviously that doubt, the loathing, the lamenting, the whole ordeal of Garroth struggling to accept his new life. But once he manages to step up, take the L, and then work on self improvement, he'd be a great healer. I can see him going to Zoey, Lucinda, Cadenza, literally anyone he knows who knows stuff about potions, healing magic, or taking care of people.

He learns every thing he can to properly care for his friends. And he's good at it because he was a guard for most of his life and therefore knows the most common injuries, major or minor, that his friends need treated. Idk the validity of this happening, but massage therapist Garroth is something I've always loved as an idea.

Like it starts with the gang coming back from an adventure and Travis got a little beat up so he goes to Garroth to get the wounds treated, but Garroth starts lecturing him about his posture and body imbalance part way through. He points out that Travis using a single arm to carry a large sword has meant the other half of his body doesn't get exercised as much and therefore throws off his entire balance and makes him more prone to injury. He not only gives Travis' poor aching shoulders a proper massage they need, but also gives him salve to help with muscle straining, and different stretches he can do to balance out his body anymore.

And even if he isn't a front line fighter, he can still train and spar with people. You can still put a sword in his hand and he can go toe to toe with you and explain in detail why he was able to knock you on your ass despite the physical disadvantage. He can still work with someone to figure out what weapon set is best for the way they fight. And he can, as I said before, act as a vector for other guards to realize how fucking unwell they are. Because Garroth didn't realize how much damage being a guard had done until he got his arm ripped off, and he doesn't want anyone else to be pushed to an extreme like that before they realize that they need more help than they let on.

[the-slasher-madame]

Ok so I was reading your other headcanons about the slasher with an s/o who has powers and I was wondering if you could do the slashers with an s/o who’s super into witchcraft? Crystals, Spells, hex’s, working with deity’s etc. if not I totally understand!

Ohhhh I LOVE THIS!!! I'm trying to learn my witchcraft myself, and I'm really fond of my spell jars, so I'd give these fuckers like 12 and insist they carry every single one with them when they go out. As I said, I'm still learning, so if I get something wrong let me know!!! Onwards to crystalline glory!! (and I think I'm gonna try a new format mayhaps?? Tell me what y'all think or if it's easier to read)

Vincent Sinclair:

I think he'd want to learn too, he just seems like a really chill guy to me. I'm not sure this is a thing, but I think he'd like the idea of trying to look for atonement, but I also really like the headcanon that he doesn't fully understand exactly how fucked up what he's doing is, but on the third hand he's a smart man. So many headcanons <_>

Would try deity work to improve his art, I firmly believe this. He will go for every art-related deity he can find. And I don't know about y'all, but I love drawing stuff that's supposed to have this divine, godly energy to it, and I think he'd also be really in to that and take inspiration from any deities either of y'all work with

Shadow work. This man would like shadow work. I can feel it. (I think Bo would also appreciate it but we'll get to that later-). I think Vincent carries a lot of shame from his face and maybe even what he does, and ofc the goddamn abuse from Tr*dy and V*ctor (I swear to the GODS I will kill them both a second time myself). Anyways

I think any specific section that deals with healing the self and stuff like that is going to be attractive to him, cause he needs therapy but, pretty obviously, there are no therapists in Ambrose. He genuinely wants to improve himself, particularly after he meets you

He thinks crystals are pretty but he's not going to be as obsessed with them as you (me) are. Would give you any crystals he finds and would use a few, just not overboard like you (me).

I think he's a firm herb man. He can identify them and will take you around Ambrose and the surrounding nature areas on dates to gather herbs. Can find you just about anything. Will find you just anything (wait can I hex his parents??)

He loves your spell jars, he makes spell jars, y’all just about have a spell jar in every room in the house, hell in the town. I make small spell jar necklaces, and he would love love love those. Y’all make each other tons of small wearable jars, and it makes him feel really loved. He just really enjoys everything you do, especially when you do something for him, and he finds witchcraft helpful and fulfilling

Bo Sinclair:

Thinks it sounds a little silly when you first describe it. Witch? Isn't that for kids and Halloween?

Eventually gets it when he sees some of the rituals you do and the peace and comfort it brings you, and will not very subtly bring you supplies, like jars from his garage, herbs from around town, crystals

The crystals are like, particularly shiny gravel pieces he sees or sea glass or something, aggressive himbo tries his best

I think all three Sinclairs would be able to find and bring you plants, I think they spent a lot of time in the woods to escape their life/their parents

Would be iffy on the deity work, maybe think it's a load of shit cause when was a god ever there for him?

Along with that, I think he'd come around to deities eventually, but I also think he would maybe peek in on any work you do with self-healing. He wouldn't be into full-on witchcraft, but I think he has a tiny piece that wants that healing and love. Another man that needs therapy but doesn't have access, please somebody help this baby-

I think he would really like the idea of baneful magic, and would also wonder if you could hex dead people. . . (I really hate Tr*dy and V*ctor ok). 

Overall, he may think it’s a little strange but if you like it, he likes it

(I forgot to mention for all three brothers you will have an endless supply of candles in every shade possible, maybe that’s obvious but I wanted to point it out). 

Would let you put spell jars in his shop, in y’all’s room, and maybe even carry a small one with him (but he won’t admit it, or admit that it makes him feel loved that you made him a spell jar and want to use time and materials on him-). 

Michael Myers: 

Is also not going to really understand it, and may have some stereotypes based on his social experience (which is -0%). 

Another one that will bring you crystals if he can find any, and also another one that deems shiny gravel to be crystals

He won’t know a whole lot about herbs, or anything really. I think he’s the type to eat things he shouldn’t, herbs included (he would eat road salt with me, I firmly believe it). You’d probably have to try to hid your herbs cause once you told him, “don’t eat that!!” he’s going to try harder to eat it. Mans is just a cat, does almost everything out of spite. 

He’s not going to really buy in to it or join you in witchcraft. This man just doesn’t believe in a higher power, especially not a compassionate one. He’s been through too much to believe there’s anybody looking out for him, and he most definitely has believes that no god, particularly a loving one, would make someone like him. Goddamn it I want to love all these boys until they love themselves

I think he would believe himself more powerful than any deity, I mean he should be dead, but instead he’s killed so many, taken so many lives, he bows to no one

Would indulge one (1) of your spell jars. He would carry one (1) small one with him, but there’s a good chance he would lose it. I do think a part of him really appreciates that you made something for him, that you appeal to your religion to try and protect him even if he doesn’t believe in it like you do

Ok maybe he’s not like an atheist, well like he doesn’t really subscribe to higher powers, but I do think he’d be superstitious. Like he thinks rabbit feet are lucky, but maybe that he’s too powerful for anything to work on him. Will walk under a ladder because he thinks it’s supposed to give him bad luck, and thinks it’s funny/appropriate that it won’t work on him because he’s kinda like a supernatural entity himself

Does that make sense?? Like he believes in it, but thinks of himself as the exception because he’s been the exception to most things

Would ask you to hex Dr. Loomis, would bring you anything you needed, and you would want to do it (fuck Loomis 2022)

Thomas Hewitt:

He has to get used to it, cause I really believe he was raised in a somewhat conservative Christian household. He’d be nervous, worrying that his family would find out and get mad about it. There’s also that feeling of doing something he’s not supposed to, like when I first started practicing or thinking of Christianity in a less-than-positive way; that feeling of forbiddenness

I think you’d have to teach him about it and get him comfortable and show him you aren’t some... ok I’d say show him you aren’t a devil-worshipper but A) that just seems rude and 2) he eats people, he has no room to talk in this situation. But you show him it's more about reconnecting with nature and yourself, and something that just brings you comfort, and he can’t deny you. He really likes to hear you talk about the things you like and learn about them

After he gets used to it, he’ll help you. Like find you supplies, help you build an altar, stuff like that. Would help you plant a lil herb garden and give you any crystals he finds, I think he likes crystals too

This is a crafty man, he will sew you stuff, all the time. AND he’d include any sigils you have in pieces of clothing for you

Will fight Hoyt or Monty if they wanna try and pick on you. Tommy’s death glare is both hot and terrifying, it allllll depends on who it’s aimed at. I like the idea that he’s very close with Luda, and that she’s pretty accepting, so if he/y’all sat down and explained it all to her she’d be chill, maybe even join you on it. Definitely see her liking herbs and crystals too, and spell jars

Luda and Tommy would let you put up spell jars everywhere, and Luda would knock the shit out of Hoyt (or Monty) for fucking with them. Good ol’ frying pan treatment

I think Thomas might have a few extra masks, just for like when he wants to switch them up (and I firmly believe he is a sewing GOD). And he’d add very small crystals to some of them, maybe bless them

Overall he’d be similar to Vinny, wanting to join in on the craft. Will treasure every single spell jar you make him. He melts when he thinks about how you care enough to make him a spell jar. Makes you some in return, and loves how y’all have a couple in most rooms

asdjfksjdhfkjshfjhds he’s just a sweetheart and y’all love each other and do stuff together

He’d also be into stuff focusing on atonement and self-healing, absolutely, another one who needs therapy

Would beg you not to use baneful magic on Hoyt (but goddamn were you close to it). 

I think he’d do a little deity work, but I dunno it just isn’t the vibe I personally get

Lester Sinclair:

himbo, that’s the most accurate descriptor of Lester in all situations

Golden retriever himbo

ANYWAYS, like a golden retriever, will bring you supplies like you told him to fetch (you did not, but he decided to anyways). 

Very proud when he brings you crystals, and is ever more proud when they’re not pieces of gravel (he gets them confused sometimes, cause rock is rock)

LOVES that he’s a wilderness expert and can take you out looking for herbs. Like he is so excited that he can help you and spend time with you, and that y’all’s interests overlap a bit

I don’t think deity work would be his forte, but he totally supports you. Will help you set up an altar and everything, but I do think he’d like spell jars. Would help you make those too

Carries as many spell jars as possible, like he will try to have all 42 that you’ve made him on his person at once. And loves how they fit in to the aesthetic of his truck, like he hangs them from every available surface

BONES!!!!!!! will give you all the bones you want or need (I like bones from an aesthetic/goth/artist point of view). I think he’d make you jewelry out of the bones as like a thank-you for all the spell jar necklaces

He might ask you to jinx Bo if he’s being a little bitch, but doesn’t want anything bad, just to annoy his older brother for being an ass

Understands if you aren’t gonna do that, he has plenty of plans to screw with the twins (well, one specific twin). 

I Firmly Believe that Lester Sinclair judges no one for things they like, he only judges people for being rude or bigoted or the likes. You like witchcraft? Cool, let him help you find plants and bones. Supports you in every single thing he can

If you find familiars (I’m not entirely sure how that works), or just find animals that are calling to you or come from a deity, he will happily adopt them. Like he’ll build them a lil place in the yard and find the right food for them

NO HE’D ABSOLUTELY PUT A SPELL JAR ON JONESY’S COLLAR

I blame Nymphie and Fang for my newfound love of one Lester Sinclair, he’s just a goddamn golden retriever himbo and that’s what I need in my life

HEY I hope y’all like it!!!!! As always, feel free to let me know if y’all want a part 2 with the rest of the slashers, love y’all <3333

[safetycar-restart]

I'M HERE and I need to talk about the hybrid!AU with Carlos. I don't want to be too cliché, but I can only think of wolf!Carlos. I don't know if it fits much, but I feel that a wolf defines Carlos a lot.

Carlos is very hairy, a lot, and his shiny black hair has always attracted people, but many don't like the hair on his legs, arms, armpits, and chest because they consider it to look "unkempt," which obviously it's not true. And he also has lots of pubic hair, and all his previous partners told him that it's uncomfortable and he should shave.

So for a long time he shaved and waxed his entire body in order to please others and not look scruffy and unpleasant. But Carlos was never satisfied, because the hair grows in a matter of days or hours, and he feels naked.

When you met him, he really wanted you to see him as a well-groomed person who can take care of you and himself, that's what his instincts tell him. But you see through him, that's why you don't worry when a couple of days go by and Carlos can't shave or wax himself. Yet Carlos is worried, and he gets nervous when you try to have sex with him. You immediately stop all attempts because he seems uncomfortable, and Carlos is apologizing to you and swearing he's going to take better care of himself as soon as possible to be presentable to you.

You stop him at that point, and have a long conversation with him about how he feels about his body and his hair. You reassure him that his body deserves respect as it is, and that hair is part of him, that he doesn't have to worry if others see him as dirty or scruffy, because they're wrong and he deserves to feel comfortable deciding how he wants to look for himself. same. You assure Carlos that with or without body hair, he will be the most handsome man in the world, your world.

Carlos crying? A little, a little too much. He didn't even expect to cry, but he never imagined meeting someone who would make him feel that safe. And you have already shown that you love his tail and his hair, you not only accept but love his hairy body!!!

Every once in a while you help him trim his pubic hair to a level he's comfortable with, but it sure takes hours because he can't contain his happiness and wag his tail and squirm. Carlos loves that you love him and his body so much.

-🌻

OH MY GOD WOLF!CARLOS. 🌻, you are a GENUIS. This is incredible. 10000/10.

Firstly, a Wolf suits him perfectly. Not only because of his hair, but because he’s protective and loyal and fights for his family and is absolutely a pack animal. He works best surrounded by others, when there are people to support him and love him and who he can protect.

(And yes that does include you, he’s like a herding dog with you)

Carlos has never had a partner completely fine with his body hair. Sure he’s had some who don’t seem to bothered mostly, but there’s always something.

It just breaks his heart when he wants to cuddle with his partner and they won’t put their head on his naked chest because it’s too hairy. He’s perfectly fine with a partner not wanting to give him head because of pubic hair, but so many of them have pressured him into shaving, saying it’s completely unacceptable that he hasn’t.

Some have even refused to cuddle with him outright because he had too much hair. Especially a few days after he shaves, because then his hair starts to grow and it’s all spoken and uncomfortable.

He’s a wolf! He needs a pack! He needs cuddles and skin to skin, especially from the person he’s in a relationship with and so to be denied that for something he can’t control? He’s so sad. All the time.

And then he meets you, and holy fuck he loves you so so much. So much more than he’s ever felt for anyone else before and he has no idea what he would do if you turned him down.

So he always makes sure to be cleanly shaven everywhere. He literally shaved every single day. He refuses to scare you off. He will not.

But then a few days go by and he doesn’t shave. Maybe you and him go away together? You go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere and just cuddle and fuck and talk and cook ridiculous lavish meals and it’s amazing. It’s absolute heaven for Carlos’s instincts to have you all to himself like that.

And he honestly just… doesn’t get the time to shave? He’s with you the entire time, only leaving you to go the bathroom and that’s it. You shower or bath together, taking full advantage of the private outdoor shower.

Then before he knows it, he’s woken up on the third day and his hair is all prickly and starting to grow back. You haven’t woken up yet, and to his shock you’re still cuddled against his chest, seemingly not caring that the hair is starting to grow back.

After breakfast, he’s trying to figure out how to escape to the bathroom for half an hour or so to shave but he has no idea how. And he doesn’t even want to, because he wants to savour every bit of time he has with you.

You walk up behind him in the kitchen, hugging him from behind and slipping your hand under his to press your hand against his chest. You kiss his neck, clearly trying to have sex and as much as Carlos wants to, he’s scared because he thinks you’ll turn him down for the hair.

He’s had so many partners make him go shave before sex, and as much as he wants sex, he actually doesn’t want to shave? He wants to just stay with you, doesn’t want to have to work so hard to make himself presentable, wants to be accepted just as he is.

You stop of course, realising that Carlos is clearly uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to admit what’s bothering him, but he also can’t lie to you.

The next thing he knows, he’s spilling everything. Your heart just breaks when you hear what’s been going on, how his previous partners had treated him.

You love Carlos!! And you would never, ever expect him to change something about himself that he has no control over.

If he wants to shave, that’s fine. But you wouldn’t want him to think he has to for you. All he has to do for you, is be himself. That’s it. That’s all he has to do.

Before Carlos even knows what’s happening, he’s crying and not just a little either. He’s properly crying, throwing himself in your arms, even his tail is wrapped around you.

He still doesn’t quite believe you, and for the next week or so, he keeps on glancing at you as he grows his hair out again. He keeps on waiting for you to say it’s officially too long. Every night he expects you to decide you won’t sleep on his naked chest, won’t let him tangle his legs with yours, ect.

But that never happens. You act like nothing has changed, because to you, nothing has. He’s still your Carlos.

(Also uh… wolf!Carlos and bunny!charles….)

[bluewinnerangel]

have you been asked about the line "something about the way the light catches the mirror in my brain, it gives me shade" yet? because i'd love to know what you think of it (in reality i'm just too oblivious to lyric meanings lol)

I absolutely love the feeling it gives me. And currently that's all it's doing and for this one it's enough for me? Just. I fucking love it. But on the other what I've found with doing and reading others' analyses and seeking lyrical parallels I've only found it amplifies the feeling. So.. I can try to ramble and see where it takes me. This is just gonna be scattered thoughts sorry bout that:

Here are the verses of Saturdays to place it in the context given, although I don't necessarily think we need to do that for lyrics, like lines can stand beautifully on their own but:

[Verse 1]: I'm not supposed to be feeling dirty cheap on silver street at quarter to three. Hidden across my face in the crowd I'm counting up the days in a haze. I'm gazing at the floor, somebody's got your trainers on, The ones that you wore when you walked out the door.

[Verse 2]: Through my cigarette, a shadow of you sticks me to the carpet, try to ignore it. Something about the way the light catches the mirror in my brain, it gives me shade. I'm staring at the door, somebody's got your trainers on, the ones that you wore but you're not here anymore.

There's a running theme here of things not directly being visible. Hidden - haze - someone who looks like someone else but isn't - through the cigarette aka a cloud of smoke - a shadow - mirror - shade - staring at a door like there can be something behind it. Something you can't quite catch (the light catches as well), a memory of someone is over every single little thing and isn't here (literally "you walked out the door and you're not here anymore").

Cigarette - shadow - shade - mirror - hidden: she's giving me smoke and mirrors.

It's also somehow simultaneously giving me vibes of him being in the club and everything all senses are suppressed because his head is somewhere else (mainly the 1st verse; obviously he's feeling dirty cheap on silver street - aka going out in Doncaster - where the gazing at the floor and seeing someone in familiar trainers implying dancefloor, like he's on the balcony looking at the people having fun yk) as well as home alone in silence (mainly second verse, now there's a carpet, I mean the club might as well have a carpet but it's not the imagery it's giving me at least, and he's still stuck on the person with the trainers on he saw), it's probably to do with the softness of the verses like it just feels so alone, it feels so I'm alone in my bed after a night out and you're not here.

I think mirror in my brain is also to amplify that feeling that he's in his head, rather that a mirror at some corner of the club that could've rhymed somehow, also a mirror in your brain is a trick right, things mirroring and reflecting and being flipped upside down (i mean light going into your eye and your brain processing it doin the flipflop) creating deception, illusion, seeing a shadow of someone not there, ignoring it.

There's also something about "a shadow of you" and "sticks me to the carpet" where before there was someone on the floor in your style, then the "mirror" that "gives me shade" like it gets flipped around it gets mirrored and they're both the shadows the ghosts that are both dancing in the dark.

The use of the word "shade" is intriguing. As a synonym for shadow, perhaps also obscuring (thoughts), but also darkness? Not just the opposite of the "light surrounding him", just.. thinking of the pile of parallels within FITF, with darkness and light all over the place, with both "fading into darkness" and "fade into light" amongst many.

It's reminiscent of Two Of Us where he sings "with memories playing through my head", "you're written in my DNA, looking back in every mirror", "you're living through everything I'll ever do".

It also reminds me of Miss You: he's off his face going out, but "I should be laughing but there's something wrong, ant it hits me when the lights go on, shit maybe I miss you". But rather than it hitting him, he's very much aware of it.

So I think you can interpret "something about the way the light catches the mirror in my brain, it gives me shade" as the party lights shielding him from the thoughts in a way, "trying to ignore it", ignore all the thoughts he's having reminiscing this person, but also the from the outside as these lights are hiding his face in the crowd and it's just in his brain, but also they're reminding him, they're giving him memories of this person, when they were going out together, "and I've been thinking about the things we used to do, we always used to say saturdays take the pain away", so he was already repressing other pains with that person, but now he's there again, but without that person, with the added pain of not having that person with him either.

Annoyingly I keep thinking about Elton John's Something About The Way You Look Tonight, "There was a time I was everything and nothin' all in one, when you found me, I was feelin' like a cloud across the sun, well, I need to tell ya how you light up every second of the day, but in the moonlight, you just shine like a beacon on the bay and I can't explain but it's somethin' about the way you look tonight" And also another song with "something in the way you move" that I just couldn't place but I just found it: The Beatles - Something. And then suddenly I was like oh shit that's in Cinema too lol ("something in the way you move I like it when you dance for me"). Or rather the cover by Phyllis Dillon with changed pronouns because I've been listening to that through of one of Harry's playlists: "Something in the way he moves attracts me like no other lover, something in the way he woos me, I don't want to leave him now, You know I believe and how, Somewhere in his smile he knows that I don't need no other lover, something in his style that shows me", I'm not saying these things are purposefully connected by him, I'm trying to say they are now in the mirror in my brain, as they are what make me think of how "something about the way" in all these 3 songs (Elton, Harry, Beatles) are about how a person moves and how a person dresses, which then going back to Saturdays, someone in the clothes that the person wore on the dancefloor, the light catching [the memory], something about the ways all of it reminding him of the person that was once in the club and once on the dancefloor with him, someone who he in the past saw dancing, admired dancing, admired their style, and perhaps it gives him some consolation "something about the way [its catching these memories of you dancing in these clothes in these lights] it gives me shade [from the harsh reality of you not being here]", somehow, there's something about it in a way.

[choclateteez]

🥊💥4* Town Conflicts pt. 2!💥🥊

IM ALLLIIIVEEEEEE!!!!

Im so sorry yall!! University has been KICKING MY ASS.

I just finished exams and everything, this years been a colossal mess (nearly died lol) BUT i couldn't forget about this so i managed to finish this up before the end of the year! 

I promise I have more in the tank, please bear with me and tysm for your patience!!😭😭🙏🏾

🧡Aaron Z🧡

With others

Z is a pretty peaceful guy in general

He doesn't like confrontation, doesn't like to get violent

As quiet as he can be, he doesnt let some things slide

If someone throws a comment here or there, he can ignore it easily

But dont test his patience

Hes a huge advocate for a little something called personal space

He cant stand it when strangers or people he's not comfortable with are inside his bubble

If you pester him, harass him, or stay too close to him for too long, he will not hesitate to push back

literally

He would never start a fight, but he sure can end it

I mean, have you SEEN this dude? 

6’3, lean, muscular, you're pretty much asking for an L

He’s a one hit wonder. One punch and youre gone (Jesse knows this all too well…he tried waking him up once…)

“I began to pass out…and then my head hit the wall, bam!”

With 4*town

He's pretty chill with 4*town out of the rest of them

The only thing he could really complain about was when the gangs energy was way too high for him to be comfortable with

Don't get him wrong, Z loves a good time. But when things are getting a bit too hyper, and the others try to rope him into the chaos, it's a bit too overwhelming

And that ended up with them "accidentally" leaving him out of stuff because they thought he was a downer. Especially when 4*town had just started

He was already a bit lonelier than the rest, as his popularity took a slower time to gain than the rest. This didn't help his insecurities in the slightest

Not only did it hurt the hell out of his feelings, it caused him to be more closed up towards the rest

Aaron T was surprisingly the one who noticed the negative impacts it was making on him, and he felt incredibly bad

He tried the "helping without confronting" tactic, a lot of which included him asking Z if he wanted to help him with his latest prank

Although reluctant, Z slowly started feeling a bit more appreciated

Even when he was the butt of the prank, T made him feel like he wasn't so invisible as he sometimes felt

Soon, even the other guys started asking if he'd help them do revenge pranks, started inviting them more often

And of course, gave him a well deserved apology

Turns out, he got a lot of it wrong. Apparently everybody thought he didn't like them because of his constant nonchalant expressions??

All this because they made assumptions about his feelings only from his face?

"...i'm surrounded by idiots." "WE'RE SO SORRY😭😭"

💙Aaron T💙

With others

He loves a good tussle

If you give him a reason to, he'll be delighted 

T wont fight for small reasons, obviously, but he is the perfect definition of "fuck around and find out"

Just don't do anything creepy or rude, and you stay on his good side

His biggest ick/pet peeve are creeps and stalkers, unnecessary paparazzi

Notice the unnecessary. He's not shy around cameras, and if his lovely fans want some content, who is he to deny them?😌

However, if there's hidden paparazzi, or people who follow him or his friends around, he can't stand it

He finds it gross and extremely disrespectful

And it makes him unbelievably uncomfortable. He hates having to feel as if there's always someone watching or taking pictures of him when all he wants is a damn coffee 

With 4*town

T admits that he can be a bit of a handful sometimes

But jeez, sometimes the gang needs to accept the fact that he prefers to interact and actually do things with other people

Being an extrovert is hard y'all

Especially when all of a sudden every single person in your group needs alone time

And he understands that. He'll respect their wishes every single time without fail. He'd throw in a whine or two, but he understands their needs.

But they never seem to understand his..

When he needed company, all of a sudden everyone thought he was being too much, or being clingy

He has the urge to shake their shoulders and tell them that he wasn't asking them to plan a party with him, he just wanted to go get some damn groceries with some company

Was that too much to ask?

He thanks the Lord that Tae Young was there for him a lot of the time

He seemed to be the only one willing to be with him all the time

Tae Young noticed this pretty quick and all it took was one convo with the rest of them, and boom

For Z, it was like sticking his toe in the water when it came to hanging out with T, and then he found out just how fun his company was

And as stoic as Z is, T found himself latching onto him more frequently. 

As for Jesse, he ended up being the brunt of T's pranks a lot, but he finds it endearing in a way.

Robaire found T absolutely hilarious, and has grown to treasure him more and more every day

[rex101111]

For the Arknights ask game I about to aske every number, but after careful thinking:

1,2,3,4,5,16,20,22,27

thank you for your consideration XD

1 Favorite Operator?

A tie between Hoshiguma and Kal'tsit. With Hoshi its this odd mix of her being exactly what she seems, a tough but lighthearted tank, and her having so much going on under the surface. She's a keeper of the peace who works for a tyrant. She's a loyal friend who killed her whole family. She resents Che'n for abandoning her but she's also proud of her for finally choosing her own path enough that she let her leave Lungmen. There's so much to dig into with her but you can also just accept her as she is, The Oni is Amazing.

And Kal'tsit because....well, I've gone on and on about Kal'tsit, and if you want a clearer answer about "why Kal'tsit is cool" just play arknights the game pretty much answers it for you.

2 Favorite Story Chapter?

Chapter 6. Frostnova took my heart and shattered it into a million pieces. It's also just the culmination of everything that's been going on in Lungmen and the climax of Che'n bursting into Wei's office to call him a callus rat fuck is just gravy.

3 When did you start playing Arknights?

Around the time chapter 6 first came out. I saw a bunch of stuff on tumblr about it and kinda fell assbackwards into it XD I then lost my account a little while after chapter 7 and took a few months to recover before starting over.

4 First 6 Star

Siege. Seiba the Lion King has been with me for a very long time. She was my free pull and I still maintain she's just as good as Saga just in a different niche.

5 First 5 Star

Greythroat. People will tell me "why don't you just use Exu?" and I will say that it's because I already have a rapid fire anti air sniper on hand and she does work!! Give your Greythroat a chance she's very capable of tearing through folks.

16 Favorite/least favorite enemy leader

Favorite has to be Patriot. Like, it's not even a contest. Talulah right after him but that is a distant second place.

Least is Mephisto. Cool motive and sad backstory, still a heinous sack of shit who took pleasure in causing pain to other people surrounded by others who either enabled him (Talulah/Kachey) or just went along with him for lack of any other real options (Faust). Fuck em I still haven't forgiven him for that lord of the flies situation he engineered in Children of Ursus. Fuck em.

20 your luckiest Roll

In the Skadi Alter Banner I managed to get both her and Kal’tsit in a single 10-pull. After that is getting Rosmontis on my first account on literally the last free single I could have possibly made.

22 Favorite event so far

A tie between Dossolos and Great Chief. Dossolos was a wonderful dive into a particularly seedy part of Terra, and that is saying something, with a really fun villain and an even funner antagonist. And Great Chief was absolutely one of those really early events where the team was obviously still trying to find its footing...but it's just so damn funny. Seriously no other event has been this funny to me. Maybe it just hit the exact right wavelength for me but something about the writing in this event just sends me.

27 Favorite Soundtrack.

again a tie between SILVER! AND GOLD! WON'T SAVE MY ROTTING SOUL! and I WILL BURN THE CLOUDS AWAYYYYYY

Because I am a huge nerd.

[lonespektr]

OCTOBER 2ND HORROR WATCH

Emergency (2022)

Two black kids in a PWI

They are trying to complete some 7 party in one night thing

They are in a taboo class and the professor is dropping the hard r several times

There's a nerd and a slacker

The schedule: 🤣🤣

BLACK out - black light party

Green room - weed

(why not there last???)

A lame party

Anything But Clothes cool party

Refueling

Equinox idk flower power party

Underground coolest apparently

Fanny pack carlos apparently

The nerds fancy lab experiment just went to shit because the fridge seal quality

They are doubling back cause that's his whole thesis

Apparently Carlos left the door open to their spot

Uh but there's a passed out white girl on the ground in their place

The slacker is already too high

Carlos is apparently oblivious in his room gaming

She's obviously OD'ing

She just threw up

That's honest information don't get mad 🤣🤣🤣

Ahh the phone is still in the vomit

They said we need a white girl to call 911 for us

Now they are brain storming who to call to call

They are calling a bunch of people who aren't on campus

Asians are neutral to police 🤣🤣

Slacker won't let nerd call 911 himself

Slacker was like we can drop her at a fraternity house outside

Carlos is like no someone will see us

Nerd is like what the actual fuck is wrong with both of you want to drop a passed out girl at a frat??

Nerd says we can just drop her to the hospital ourselves after we change into clothes that make us look very respectable

That's actually not a bad idea i apologize for getting in your circle

Yt bestie looking for her

Can you see her from up there 🤣🤣🤣

It's her sis

They go back to the horrific plan of dumping her body at a frat

Frat attack

Back to the van

These dumb asses haven't given her any water carlos tried to give her a sports drink which probably had the pregame mix in it

Slacker is paranoid due to weed

His cousin got shot by police

White people come out to the neighborhood filming them shouting that they are dealing drigs

They of course have a black lives matter sign in their yard

Now he definitely did give emma a bunch of booze

Carlos is very fucking weird talking to her like a kindergartner

She's talking now enough to say shes a minor grade 12

They need to switch cars because the frat guys busted their tail light

They go to slackersfam house but they see the girl and every single black man runs out of the house

This is so far .. i have been told there is a twist -an extended scene of blackish where those two (man i am terrible with names) avoid the elevator with the white girl toddler in it

Emma finally sobers up for two secs freaks out causes the van crash

They go look for her in the woods

They are mean to carlos again unprompted (the granola comment is warrented)

Blackness off

I love you still (in the middle of the fight)

She is ....up a tree, throwing up again

The brunette called out the sister for being a bitch this whole time

The rescue squad have caught up to our fractured protagonist

She attacked them with a stick

After a long misunderstanding and some yelling and pepper spray and it turns out the boy brunette is crushing on is related to carlos

So trust is established!

Slacker ditches (on carlos cuz bike) because sister keeps saying they hurt her

The police finally catch up to them because they obviously called in the van and plates when they started tracking the car

Brunette is quite flummoxed to find out her crush is Mexican

The cops surrounded the van

Nerd has been giving CPR this whole time cause sis has been fucking ODing the entire night

They pull everyone out of the van separate the white girls and the two Mexicans both light but one obviously phenotypically Mexican

Pull several guns on nerd

They ignore white girl for several mins screaming my sister is dying (like cops do) and keep pointing several guns at nerd until

Finally one cop checks the van they forget all about nerd for two secs

Now Carlos and nerd are on the curb and the white presenting cousin and the brunette are witnessing

The cops believe the story

Nerd is very not okay about almost being murdered

Carlos said you're my hero

Carlos and nerd finally walk back to the lab to save his science

Slacker is already there sleeping wedged against the door

He left the party (there was a shot of mold on the party wall)

Carlos bails for their reconciliation

Big cry, one strike against toxic masculinity

Nerd congrats party hes going to Princeton

The girls come back to thank/apologize

Ha YES he closes the door in her face mid apology for being racist 🤣🤣🤣

Hmmm ok i dunno what people thought the ywist was but there wasn't one

They ended on a close up of nerd reacting to a passing siren

This young man now has full ptsd now for life

Lol these dumb asses put up their own plaque clandestinely

Very good working colorism in there

[zindagi-jhandwa-firbhi-ghamandwa]

My mother was feeling bad yesterday. She has anxiety. It's where I got mine from. I try my best to help her through it, but she always prefers to talk to my cousin, her elder brother's daughter.

My mother was 12 years old when her father died. Her elder brother, my uncle, was 16. As the eldest male in 1970s India, he was tasked with taking care of the family and he did an extremely impressive job. My mother also did really well considering her disadvantages. But it's because my uncle went from delivering milk riding a bicycle every morning to having enough money to buy multiple apartments that my mother sees him as some sort of God and his daughter as some sort of goddess.

Plus they both speak Telugu as a first language while I speak English as a first language — and despite my best efforts to improve my Telugu fluency, I obviously am not going to be as fluent as people who were born and raised in Hyderabad, speaking only Telugu.

So when my own mother is struggling with her mental health, I must watch her express her feelings to my cousin rather than me. I must watch my aunt and cousin comfort her while I go to work.

My father doesn't give a shit about me, I feel. He didn't see me till I was 6 months old. He never wanted to marry my mother, he was forced to enter into an arranged marriage by his parents — my grandparents. He liked my sister a bit because she's his first born and she's brave, fearless, aggressive and sporty, like him. His son on the other hand is an insecure, introverted nerd. My father almost embodies the jock stereotype. He was an excellent sportsman, loves to keep fit, and despises fat people. He literally let thin people destroy his life and career and bears no ill will against them and when overweight people helped him out, he still treats them like crap. I'm morbidly obese, bad at sports, introverted, I find it difficult to deal with people, I'm a nerd and not a believer in traditional masculinity. He kinda hates me for that.

My sister is probably the person I'm closest to, but she's married with kids and thus I would be, at best, #4 on her list of people. In reality, I'm probably more like #10. Also, she lives in the UK and I live in India.

My closest friends are both married and the amount of time they can share with me has plummeted as a consequence. One of them lives in San Francisco, so the time we spend together on the phone is really limited anyway, plus he's successful and surrounded by other successful people. I jokingly refer to myself as Sudama in his presence.

The other lives in India, in Nashik. He had the choice to live in New York, but he chose Nashik. Since his marriage, not only is he fully focused on his wife and indeed her family and friends, who give him royal treatment as the husband of the eldest daughter in the family.

And so I'm now slowly realising that while I do have a wide circle of family and friends, I'm not in anyone's inner circle and I don't have anyone in mine either.

I'm a secondary concern to everyone. An acquaintance to all and a friend to none.

It's a weird feeling to know that your own mother would rather talk to your cousin than you when she's in trouble. That your father would rather spend time with people your age from his work, all of whom basically take advantage of him to extract whatever little money he has left out of him, than be with you. That when you try to make conversation with him, you get grunts and single word replies.

It's all exacerbated by the knowledge that you didn't let people get close to you because you had bigger goals in life. You had dreams, hopes, aspirations that all shriveled up and died, leaving you with no friends, no family, no loved ones, no-one to whom you can be vulnerable and nothing to show for it except a smoking habit that will probably kill you in the next year.

Why do I endure? I should just fucking kill myself and get it done with. Except I'm too scared to do that too. And so the pain grows and continues until one day I'll suddenly feel a sharp stabbing pain the chest and collapse. And no-one will be able to take me to the hospital because I'm too fat to be lifted and taken anywhere.

[s1ckh1mb0]

Heart attack

Chapter 1

"I'm sorry but I don't think this is gonna work out."

      Those are the words anyone would hate to hear. But Luna hated it way more than other people did. That's why he would cut them off before they could say it. She thought she would be used to hearing it by now. But disgust just grew more and more inside of her with just the word sorry. Always knowing that it was never true, they weren't ever sorry for the right reasons. But they're instead just sorry they got caught. Caught cheating, caught stealing from her, caught lying, hell even caught trying to get with Luna's own mother and twin brother.

      The guy in front of her now telling her the same thing that's she's heard over and over was shocked when she got up and got in his face. Her being 6'8 with her seven-inch heels on she obviously stood over her now ex-boyfriend. Just staring down at him causing him to gulp in nervousness, she was someone that you could never guess what they would do. They just stood there in complete silence for a minute until a slap rung in the air. His eyes widen in shock as she slapped him so hard that his head was turned the other way. Yoking him up by his collar so his feet was dangling in the air as her gloss covered lips turned into a snarl. "You think some sorry ass apology is going to fucking cut it Carlos, like be so deadass right now. You all up on some other bitch while I'm out here working my fucking ass off!"  She screamed at him as he squirmed to get out of her grip.

          A crowd surrounded watching all of this unfold in front of Tao and the rest of his school. Luna just wanted to get out of work and pick up her kid and they come out the school to see her now ex-boyfriend on top of her car kissing one of the substitutes.  The absolute nerve of him and then to give that sorry ass apology. "Mami let's go please, we'll just go home and burn his shit or something." Tao hid her face in embarrassment and grabbed the back of his mom's shirt. A groan left her as she dropped him onto the ground before turning her head to the substitute. Seeing Luna's glare, she jumped and quickly got off of her car. Tao sucked his teeth and got in the passenger side as Luna got on the drivers. Hearing the car turn on Carlos quickly shot up and started banging on the driver's side window. Luna rolled her eyes and rolled the window down. "The fuck do you want?" She questioned with a visible  look of absolute disgust on her face. "Luna baby, love of my life how am I supposed to get home you picked me up?!" His face turning red as he whispered to her. He was met with nothing but a shrug as she turned the radio up "Sounds like a you problem doesn't it nigga?". With the radio blasting Slut me out she quickly pulled off leaving Carlos stuck there pissed off.

      With a shared look they both ran inside the house and into his room. The first person there was Tao and she had everything already planned out in her head. Flipping over his mattress a shoe box was under it. "Just what I was hoping for." Quickly grabbing and opening it a smile grew on her face. Grabbing multiple stacks of money and waving in front of Luna . "Looks like stupid should have grabbed his shit before deciding to go out in public with his bitch." Tao said while she started counting the bills. Causing Luna to giggle as she patted her head "I've taught you well, haven't I? Now grab all of his clothes and throw that shit in the tub".

     They clasped their hands together and started going thru Carlos's drawers taking every single thing out dumping it onto the floor. Once the drawers were completely empty, they grabbed all of his clothes and went into the bathroom that was connected to the room throwing his stuff in the tub. Tao ran out but quickly came back with a bottle of bleach in hand. Standing next to Luna who started recording she dumped all of the bleach all over his clothing. Both of them laughing as his shit instantly became ruined.

[chqnified]

I feel like we've come to a point where I'm close to giving up.

One of our close friends promised to come see us soon, but made excuses as to why she couldn't every single time. Another close friend no longer talks to us unless he wants to talk about his drama, he was the one who wanted to meet up but was all full of lies.

Our mum said she'd go into town with us Wednesday, never happened, but agreed the next day we could. We're now the next day, and it has been completely forgotten. "But aren't you in pain? You should wait until you recover?" , Not understanding that we've been like this for months now. It's not getting better, it's getting worse. Claims i should walk more, but the time I'd actually walk willingly, suddenly doesn't apply?

I'm fucking upset because I'm having to go on a summer uni experience, a 4 day thing. I don't want to go. I don't know anyone, and I don't want to have to do a 5 minute presentation infront of at least 50 people. People need to stop trying to invalidate me for feeling uncomfortable in that situation just because 'well you can perform on a stage infront of thousands of people' , it's not the same.

And I'm potentially being forced to go swimming tonight. Self explanatory. I only know that bot only will that be a bodydisphoria nightmare but i know full damn well I'm going to come out of that with even more body dismorphia issues after everyone has put in their opinion about my body. I can be fully dressed in the baggiest clothes ever and get inappropriate comments surrounding my weight.

I'm in constant agony, all my joints hurt like shit. I'm in pain and i dread having to get up in the morning, it feels like my joints are all about to slide. Yet, the blame is put on me, it's always 'you're not eating enough' 'you obviously have a deficiency ' or 'it is the phone' like lol yeah the phone explains the pain in my ankles. For once, can't someone just listen and let me go to the doctors. 'Taking paracetamols isn't good for you on a daily basis' , what do you want me to do? I'm on the maximum dose and i can feel all my joints burning and feeling like they have needles stuck in them.

My dad said to me the other night 'dont you think your mum has been through enough?' refering to my outing and also to the fact i said i couldn't care less if someone thought i was a boy, he jumped to the conclusion we were trans. Which we are. He already knows, but it never has been brought up except for the snarky comments here and there. So what? It's disrespectful to them as parents because i am who i am? I didn't choose to be trans, like i didn't choose to be born lol.

It's an accumulation of things, I don't feel wanted by anyone in my life. And i feel betrayed, i feel fucking betrayed by everyone who told that small child that they loved them, when in reality it was only if they were exactly who they wanted them to be. Or told them they loved them whilst behind their back, were backstabbing them.

I'm sick of it.

[kyovtani]

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)

— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader

— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN

— word count: 9.6k

— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-

— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)

[ part one ]

— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)

"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.

“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.

"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.

"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.

“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.

At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.

After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.

However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.

"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.

The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.

Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.

However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.

Kyoutani Kentarou.

You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.

"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"

"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.

"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.

"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.

You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.

After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.

The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.

It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.

"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.

His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.

"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."

"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.

Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.

After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.

Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.

He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.

After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).

You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.

You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.

At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.

However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.

He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.

"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.

"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.

And then realization hits you.

"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.

Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.

And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.

"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.

“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.

"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”

Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.

"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.

“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.

"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.

"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.

"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.

"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.

"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."

Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.

A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.

It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.

The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.

You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.

"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.

Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.

"But you're not good for me."

You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.

The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.

You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.

Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.

Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.

You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.

"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.

And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.

"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.

“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.

"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”

Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.

Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.

There you are, yet again.

Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.

The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.

Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.

Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.

You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.

And then it hits you.

The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.

Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.

And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.

"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.

You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.

"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.

"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”

You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.

After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.

Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.

"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.

"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.

But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.

"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”

Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.

You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.

"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.

"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."

"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.

"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”

You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.

“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.

"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”

And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.

"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.

“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"

You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."

And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.

"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.

You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.

And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.

"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.

You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.

With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.

Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.

But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.

"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.

He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.

After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.

You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.

And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.

"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.

"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.

“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.

"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.

Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.

"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.

“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.

"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.

"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.

"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."

"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"

His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.

You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.

However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.

Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.

"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.

"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.

"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.

Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.

You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.

“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.

"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.

Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.

Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.

"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.

You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.

The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.

It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.

And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.

"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.

Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.

You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.

Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.

And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.

Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.

"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.

It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.

You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.

You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.

But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.

Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.

Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.

He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.

"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.

“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.

Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.

But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.

"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.

"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.

“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.

Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.

"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.

"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.

"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.

"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.

“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.

"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.

“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.

“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”

“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.

You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.

And then he finally starts moving.

A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.

“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”

You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.

His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.

“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.

“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.

You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.

“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.

“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”

A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.

And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.

“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.

“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”

“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.

He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.

You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.

“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.

And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”

You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.

The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.

You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.

"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”

You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.

And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.

Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.

"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.

Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy��s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."

You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.

"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.

His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.

Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.

"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.

"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.

Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.

"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.

Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.

"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.

This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.

"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.

Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.

And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.

And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.

[ banner source ]

[lonely-lost-soul]

2,000 Follower Special

DreamSmp Kissing Headcanon's

~No minor members obviously~

Characters: Dream, Geroge, Sapnap, Technoblade, Phil, Wilbur, Fundy, Dream XD, Slimecicle, and Quackity

Side bar: thank you all so much for 2,000 followers! This means the world to me, I start college again on Saturday so writing might start to slow down. For now though I hope you enjoy the special! Don’t forget to join the discord!

If you like consider buying me a coffee?: thank you!

Dream:

Passionate and Slow

Dream would always kiss you like it was his last day with you, and knowing what he does it very well could be

Dream tasted of sugar and dark chocolate

His kisses were a temptation and an addiction

He would always pull you close by the loops of your jeans, his way of keep control of you and your shared kisses

Dream's hands would then drift to the curve of your back and down to your ass

PDA is not a problem for him, not like you were around many people in the first place

You'd laugh against his lips and he'd smile

He would never break the kiss first, only breaking it if you pulled away first

Dream knew you were about to pull away whenever you'd tug on the roots of his blonde hair, it was like you wanted to tease him one last time before letting him go

"You should go. You're going to be late."

"Come on kitten just a little bit more? Be a good girl like you always are for me?"

You laughed dragging him into another kiss, and he smirked against your lips giving your lips a little nibble

He felt you tug on his hair and pull away from him, "You're a dog."

"You love me."

"I do, now shoo. Leave no survivors for me."

Dream's face burned up to his ears and his eyes lit up with childlike glee.

"Always do!"

You were the only one Dream let stay in his life, the only attachment he allowed himself to have.

He'd kill for you

GeorgeNotFound:

Soft and Clumsy

George was never one to pull you close and kiss you slowly and passionately

The mushroom man would much rather show his love through other ways, gifts and sleepy cuddles being the main tells of his affection

Especially in front of others

When he would give you kisses he'd cup your cheek and pull you close for a chaste kiss

It was clumsy and you both always ended up with teeth knocking together before finding a rhythm

His lips tasted like strawberries

After every kiss, he'd rest his forehead against yours so he could look into your eyes

In public, Geroge was always sweet never wanting to rough you up unless of course, he wanted to be a brat

However, that was reserved for when you were alone

No one else needed to know he thoroughly enjoyed getting dominated by you in every single aspect of life

"Gogy, on your knees. Now."

"Make me, savior."

"You know bad boys don't get what they want."

"We both know that's not true. Now fuck me already."

He knew he fucked up the minute your eyebrow raised and you grabbed at the collar around his neck.

You were about to show him how good of a kisser you were.

Sapnap:

Messy and Heated

Sapnap no matter what the circumstances always had a hand on you

Talking to Karl and Quackity a hand rested in the back pocket of your jeans

Talking to George and Dream an arm was around your shoulders

Even when talking with his dad and Skeppy a hand was firmly placed protectively on the small of your back

Anytime the fire demon was feeling the slightest bit needy his lips would be on yours

Sapnaps kisses were always making out, never in between

Fingers bruising your hips, as he pulled you flush against his body

The kisses were open-mouthed, his lips had a tendency to travel

Your neck would be covered in bite marks, telling everyone in the surrounding area who you belonged too

He tasted like cinnamon and pine

The make-out sessions always ended with his hand up your shirt or your hand down his pants

"Darlin' come on."

"We're having dinner with your dads we aren't going to go make out while they're making dinner!"

The pout on his face was so cute it almost broke you

"Please?"

"...fine."

He tackled you onto the couch not even hesitating to press his mouth against your own lips.

Technoblade:

Tender and Rough

He loved you to death, and his kisses always reflected that

Techonblade was tender when he needed to be, always careful not to go too far, careful not to hurt you

Those kisses came in a sleepy haze or when he came back from a long trip with Phil and Steve, or even after a long day.

He tasted of freshly fallen snow and mint

Technoblade would always run his fingers down your arm to ask for attention without really asking for attention.

You'd give him a kiss knowing that's how he asked and he would purr deep in his chest.

Some days, the voices won

They would plead him to be rough, to mark you and claim you as his forever partner

You secretly loved those days, but the guilt Technoblade felt when he'd succumb always made you keep your mouth shut

The kisses would leave you with more than a fair share of marks, including bruised lips and thighs

You knew who was in control by the way he'd cling to you, grab your hips and press your ass against his hips

"Tech?"

"hm..."

"Is today a rough day?"

You felt him nod against his spot on your neck, and heat pooled in your gut

His tusks began to pinch against the skin of your neck and you knew he was working on the first mark of many of the night

"We're going to devour you"

"Please do, you know I'm yours."

He growled and swallowed your words in a blistering kiss

Afterall you were his mate and the Blood God was plenty good with his mouth

Philza:

Soft and Gentle

Whenever he moved to initiate a kiss he'd always cup your cheeks and kiss your nose before your lips

He tasted of pine and fresh air

Phil always kept you safe from those who'd want to destroy the happy life you've built together

Unlike a lot of the other members of the SMP, Phil always put your well-being before his own

He always made sure you were happy and healthy, so he could provide the best life possible for you

Hands always found their way to your stomach and plush thighs whenever the opportunity found itself

Especially after your daughter was born, Euphoria was her name and she was born after the both of you had lost Wilbur

Not one for PDA unless it's hand holding or lingering cheek kisses

When alone it's a completely different story, man is all over you

Showering you with kisses and cuddles

If you want the kisses to be heated tug on the feathers at the base of his wings it's a sure-fire way to get him riled up

"Jesus Christ Angel you know what that does to me!"

"Yeah? And what're you gonna do about it bird brain."

He gave you a dark look that only meant you were in big trouble

Your smile only widened, after all, you were one of his peskiest crows

Wilbur: (mostly revivedbur)

During his presidency, his kisses were nervous and sweet

Those were your favorite, he'd be so nervous to kiss you, you'd have to pull him by his lapel and plant one on him

After he got replaced by Schlatt his kisses were full of blistering anger and horribly rough

Those were your least favorite, he only ever kissed you when he was horny or needed to let off some steam

When he was revived his kisses were otherworldly and brief

Those kisses were to prove to you that he's changed, that the 13 and a half years spent in hell were not for naught

He had you wrapped around his reformed facade almost immediately

You just wanted your fiancè back

Whenever he kisses you it was always when you were about to argue with him about something stupid

No matter what Wilbur you were met with the man always tasted of cigarette smoke and caramel

He'd kiss you in a way that made your toes curl and your mind fog up pleasantly

Wilbur would call you softly tell you how much he loved you while cradling your face

He also loved to plant kisses to the top of your head to show his everlasting affection for you

If the kisses got too heated his hand would wrap around your throat leaving you bruised and yearning for more

He'd never provide more, he only would when he was in one of his moods

His post-presidential self would peak through in those moments, just using you for a quick lay to blow off steam

In a haze afterward, he'd profess his undying love to you, how you were his muse

His everything and without you by his side he'd have nothing and no one to turn to in his times of need

"I love you, you know. More than anything."

"I know Wilby, I love you too."

You felt his lips grace the top of your head and you snuggled into him under the sheets

"You'll always stay by my side right? No matter what?"

"Always and forever Wilbur, until the end of the line. It's both of us or neither of us."

"I'll hold you to it."

Fundy:

Quick and Innocent

He was just overexcited and eager to kiss you all the time

PDA was never a concern for him, he wanted to show the entire server that he was in love and you loved him back

Fundy's kisses tasted like candied apples with a hint of powdered sugar

He was like his fox part in many ways, kissing you on the lips without warning, tail wagging behind him like an overexcited puppy

Fundy would grab your shoulders and pull you close pressing a quick kiss to your lips before scampering away

He'd shout a loud "I love you, dream girl!"

You would shout the same back knowing he'd be coming home after his shift in Las Nevadas

Fundy would bring you back gifts from his shifts all stuff from the magical city that gave him new meaning

You moved there with him soon after, and Quackity was happy to have another citizen in his city

Fundy spent the rest of the day by your side sneaking in kisses and dragging you around his jobs in the city

His kisses were never meant to leave you wanting more to be blistering and heated

You never minded that, he just wanted to show his undying love for you any way possible

But some days you had enough of his innocence and sweetness

"Fundy you know I won't break, right? You can kiss me harder than that."

He'd flush up to his face, his fur bristling, "I know that! I just don't want to hurt you..."

"A little pain is never a bad thing fur baby."

He yelped as you tugged on his tail, a smirk playing on your lips

"(Y-y/n)!"

"Hm?"

"Show me how?"

"Anything for you."

Like father like son it seemed

Dream XD:

Hard and Possessive

The God tasted indescribable, it was like everything you loved all wrapped up in his lips

XD was never one to share his possessions with anyone which is why he kept you away from the SMP

If he could he'd give up his godly powers and duties for you

If XD could live a normal life with you he would, he'd learn how to farm while you wouldn't need to lift a single finger ever again

his kisses always came as a surprise when you were doing something important

You'd be farming and suddenly giant hands lifted you into the air

You knew it was XD immediately and you smiled up at him, you kissed his giant thumb

He shrunk down to mortal size to press a kiss to your lips, his hands found your waist immediately

Nails digging into the flesh of your hips for sure leaving bruises and marks so everyone's knew he was there

XD loved your neck, loved covering it in claim marks so no one would mess with you or him

Doesn't care about PDA, will show anyone who you belong to if they so much as touch you

Appearing behind you and swallowing your lips in a possessive kiss that left you breathless

He was absolutely the jealous type

The only other man he even let you interact with was George and that's only because he was possessive over him as well

It didn't even have to be other men, if you were farming and not paying attention to him, he'd finish the work for you solely so he could get his kisses faster

Almost always his kisses divulged into something more passionate and electrifying

"My goddess," His voice was like honey as it filled you with warmth, "You are a drug to me. Did you know you could domesticate a God? You must've been aware since birth you were made for something special."

"You flatter me D," You yelped feeling his shark-like teeth graze the skin on your neck

"I'll do more than flatter you, Goddess, I'll compliment you so much you'll just be a pile of mush in my arms."

His hand slid down the front of your pants and you let your head fall against his shoulder

"That's it. Succumb to me, you are mine."

Slimecicle:

Inexperienced and Oblivious

Charlie was new to human experiences even though he pretended not to be

it took him three months before he even realized kissing was a ritual human's did when they were together romantically

You were human and you needed kisses for love! He wasn't being a very good flesh partner at all!

Before he kissed you for the first time he consulted with Quackity who handed him a book titled 'How to Sex' before walking away rather swiftly

Charlie absorbed all the knowledge he could from the books and from watching people kiss in the past

He read it cover to cover and when he saw you the next time he planted a kiss on your lips

or what he thought was a kiss, it was mostly tongue and teeth and you broke away sputtering

The poor man was so confused

He tasted like slime and it wasn't the only thing that caught you off guard

You had to guide him like a lost puppy

Charlie learned the proper body language you'd show when you were okay with a kiss from him

As always he was a very good listener, he just needed practice

Luckily he had such a teacher

You taught him what the different types of kisses meant

You taught him that there were many different types of kisses for different scenarios

Of course, he requested a demonstration for all of them

One might think it was an innocent enough request but you knew better

"Do you have a thing for your teacher Charlie?"

"Yes! She is very pretty and her flesh mounds and lips look very soft!"

You flushed and slapped a hand over your face to hide your blush

"You're such a dork."

"I'm not a dork! I'm bones silly!"

"Yeah I know, now come over here so I can give you a hands-on lesson."

"Yes ma'am!"

Quackity:

Hesitant and Pleading

also passionate and full of longing

Quackity pours all he has into his kisses with you, trying to communicate his feelings without words

His kisses tasted of vanilla and lavender

probably kisses hesitantly but passionately like he's afraid you'll leave him so he needs to pour all he has into the kiss

You knew he wanted a kiss when Quackity would look at you out of the corner of his eyes

They would be big and blown, wings fluffing against his back

He looked in love

He would look at you like you were his lifeline the only thing he had that kept him grounded after the loss of your other two fiancè's

Speaking of that: Abandonment Issues 101

When he kisses he holds your hand tight, you always made sure to kiss the scar he got from Techno and call him handsome

He'd always kiss you again after that

The feelings he gives you from the kiss are almost suffocating

He fears that since everyone else he ever loved abandoned him, he was always seconds away from losing you

First Schlatt, then Karl, and then Sapnap

He knows he should stay guarded so he doesn't get hurt for the fourth time

But here you were making that an impossible task for him

"Duckie you okay?"

He hadn't even realized he'd been playing with your fingers for the past ten minutes

"I'm fine Mi Amor," He breathed kissing your hand his gold tooth shining in the low light of the casino, "Just thinking about how much I love you."

"You're so sappy," He loved the way your soft cheeks turned pink and his eyes lit up

"Yeah, I guess I am."

He leaned forward and kissed you, once more feeling dread until you kissed him back

Quackity knew he'd be alright as long as he had you

~~~

Tag list: @abovenyx @boiled-onionrings @pastelmoonwitche @roxy3457 @alovestruck-fool @victory-is-here @phoenixaesthetic19, @mack4676, @fiorenc @theoneandonlyyeti @myrkl @bloodrose0723 @sandyy-woo @luluwinchester @fall3n-vo1d @friday-dsv @blxux @honeyco0kie

[boop-le-snoot]

marmalade taffy

Helmut Zemo smut & feels. Soft!Dom Zemo, non-superhero!AU, Zemo being the weird uncle of college!Maximoff twins. This was written on a whim so if someone signs up to beta-read, I will shower you with affection and reminders to drink water. The Reader is addressed as "you" and is not described - race/age/body type neutral. The language I used for Sokovian is actually Serbian. Word count 2,8k.

Fun fact: I have mild synesthesia. Emotions/feelings and some people have an assigned color (and sometimes smell) for me. That's how the name of the fic was born. This fic feels like the colors of marmalade and taffy, look them up. This fic is dedicated to my lovely @slothspaghettiwrites , the shining beacon in my misty, rocky beach. (You're a periwinkle for me, by the way. I thought you might ask.)

When you first see him all you do is raise an eyebrow. His sleek, well-maintained vintage car stands out almost grotesquely amongst the various sedans and mom vans on the campus and you can see the glint of his wristwatch even from afar. Wanda's and Pietro's sheepish smirk only makes the situation worse - the girl's attire obviously screams "liberal arts" and her twin brother doesn't seem to have anything better to wear than tracksuits.

The man behind the wheel is unfazed. He is calm and collected in that European way, not conceited, just waiting. For what? You don't know. His eyes trail over you but he doesn't smile, simply gives a tiny polite nod. If you hadn't had extensive conversations about cultural differences with Wanda, you'd say he was extremely rude.

Shy, quiet Wanda, who's eyes lit up seeing her favorite not-actually-uncle. In a surprising dash of energetic agility, she hopped right into the car, her numerous scarves a bright flash of saturation against the campus grayscale. You giggle and wave at the departing car, snorting when Wanda's hand reaches over to briefly honk the horn, causing the driver to swerve the tiniest bit, his eyes trained on you in the rearview mirror.

He comes and goes often. Almost always in a different perfectly restored vintage car, mostly with the same polite mask of bored contentment. You know he's royalty in his home country and can't help but wonder how frivolously the twins act around him - no, free. He gives all the appearance of a silent, strict man.

You're proven wrong rather quickly. Freshman year left behind you, you and Wanda decide to ditch the dorms for an apartment - she finds one rather quickly and it's just you two in it even though it is ridiculously huge and the rent amount she requests is equally ridiculously small. Not the one to look a gift horse in the mouth, you pretend nothing is out of the ordinary and buy yourself a new pair of shoes.

Helmut - Wanda finally formally had introduced you two - doesn't come by often, however the visits are always... Eventful. He's not at all what it seemed to be; in the quiet of your apartment, a witty, incredibly clever man resurfaces from under the stoic façade. The Slav in him easily lets him consume alarming quantities of alcohol together with Pietro, who opted to stay in the dorms with his idiotic football team, and - you couldn't believe your eyes at the time - dorkily dad-dance squat in the middle of your living room, unfazed by your and Wanda's cackling.

The way Helmut is absolutely unbothered by the audience and the laughter, pale face flushed from the wine and a little smirk stretching his thin lips into expression almost catlike. The maroon turtleneck stretches nicely across his chest, as thinly as your lip that you worry between your teeth.

Pietro raises an eyebrow. You shrug.

"Got something in your eye, no?" He teases playfully and you shrug again, taking another swig of your nice, European beer.

There are more gatherings, more parties and quite a few rides in his car, when the wind blows your hair in all directions possible and intermingles it with Wanda's as you giggle and squeal in the back seat. Helmut always indulges you two; the word 'no' simply does not exist in that man's vocabulary. He insists politely but firmly on a dinner with all three of them on your birthday and the gifts he brings make your eyes pop out and your face heat.

"A woman like you makes any sensible man want to shower you with the finest gifts," Helmut's voice is quiet and his accent is thick and somehow, it makes it all that harder to refuse. He smiles like usual - tiny and a little secretive, as he pecks your cheek, filling the air around you with the smell of his cologne. It makes your mouth water and your fingers clench helplessly around the half a dozen of silk paper-wrapped boxes.

The summer rolls in and it's hot and humid and finally you don't have to worry about waking up at the crack of dawn or classes or the annoying boys who can barely take a no for an answer. The invitation to Helmut's villa doesn't come as a surprise; Wanda had been riled up over it since early May and Pietro and his whole damn football team were equally as thrilled.

You pack flowy dresses, daisy dukes and swimsuits. The expensive jewelry and handbag Helmut had gifted you, too, since the villa is surrounded by a whole neighborhood meant solely for the rich and famous. Wanda is absolutely unbothered by her own bohemian chic and you quietly envy her; the longer you get to know her, the more you realise of how much actually she does not give a fuck about anything besides her paintings and sculptures.

It's admirable, really, because she is talented. And Helmut knows it, too, having had collected and kept every single work Wanda had made, showing it off in the various rooms of his two-story mansion. The abstract fits in well and is a great conversation topic for him and his equally important friends. There's an endless stream of them in the first days and Wanda isn't overtly happy, choosing to run away to laze around the pool with you more often than not.

Helmut's friends stop at the glass wall between the inner side of the house and the pool to stare at you two, too, causing something dark and tense flash across his features. There always had been a sort of tangy obscurity in him, you've noticed, but not nearly enough for you to grow concerned. It added the bittersweetness, the flavour and consistency to the modest man.

Although calling him modest might have been a mistake. The moment you can't shake off one of his friends after a polite chit-chat seems to never end, Wanda nowhere in sight, dread and unease digging their sharp, spindly fingers in the soft flesh behind your rib cage, Helmut is suddenly there, arm wrapped almost possessively around your waist.

"Draga mea, Wanda is looking for you. She says it's urgent," He stares the man down with the eyes of a vulture. "I believe we haven't been properly introduced," Helmut seems to not realize he's still clutching you in a grasp of steel as the man opposite you rumbles out his name, few syllables you'd forgotten seconds after he spoke them for the first time.

"Baron Helmut Zemo," the fingers brush and squeeze once, gently, over the valley of your waist before letting go. You miss the rest of their peacocking, walking away with a fight and fire inside of your hammering heart. Anxiety and longing and confusion mix and blend, combining into a cocktail that has you beelining for the bar like a woman parched.

The next day you're sleeping off the hangover, first in your bed and then by the pool - Wanda had run off into town for one thing or another, and knowing her, she'd be back home at the crack of dawn. It was blissful peace, the soothing balm for your troubled heart and your aching head.

"Hungover?" Helmut's voice was quiet and a little bit teasing. None of the Eastern Europeans had ever showed the signs of having any ill effects from the alcohol they drunk, unlike you.

You stretched, too blissed out to care about the skimpy strings and straps of your bikini, basking in the gentle morning sun. "Mmm, not anymore," a swim in the cold pool had done wonders.

Your soft pink float rocked as Helmut's footsteps quieted, giving way to a short splash and the sound of his breathing somewhere in your space. Just as you cracked open your eyes, he reached out a hand to steady himself next to you. "I wanted to apologize for the situation yesterday. That man was stepping out of line. He is not welcome in my home anymore."

You stare at him and then you snort. The blunt was he usually speaks is so easy, it flows oh so effortlessly. No mind games, just honesty. You want to pay him back in kind. "Don't worry, Helmut. I just had a bit too much to drink," that was the truth. Any other time and you wouldn't have hesitated to unapologetically steer clear of any creep. Heat and bubbly don't mix and that was your own mistake.

"No, printsesa," the man in front of you let loose some of the delicious darkness, eyes growing stormy, hand gently resting over yours. "Some men are fools, they are nothing but animals. You deserve to feel safe, especially in my home." His lips stretched into a smile, water dripping down his jaw and making tiny circles form in the azure of the pool.

"I can't argue with that," you replied, catching the stray liquid and following the trails it made with your eyes. His forehead, dripping down over his eyes, making Helmut blink the stray drops away until they landed on his lips, trickling down his chin.

You swallowed, opting to dip your toes into the cool pool water before you could make a fool of yourself. The water splashed towards him, making a mischievous grin grace his usually serious face, as me made a half-hearted attempt to splash back weakly, making the water sizzle on your sun-kissed skin. Never the one to back down from a challenge, you knitted your eyebrows in mock offense, eagerly letting the water wash over you as you abandoned the float in favour of creating waves with your whole body.

The temperature contrast was delicious and Helmut's laugh even more so as it echoed in between the high walls of the building surrounding the pool. The sun was nearly at its peak, shining over your head in a beacon of heat that almost matched the one inside of you, the one that had blossomed there months ago and finally grew into a steady smolder, shooting sparks whenever you were around the baron.

It was hot and wet, the same feeling chasing you two when you finally kissed. His hand firmly planted on the side of your neck, his nose softly brushing against the underside of your jaw, Helmut was in no rush to taste you, to savour every millimeter of your sun-kissed skin. The man left you with your fingertips trembling and heart scrambling for purchase somewhere in the deepest pits of your belly.

"What are you so hungry for, mmm?" Helmut's voice rumbled next to the shell of your ear; you could barely focus, skin singing underwater, where he held onto you like a lifeline. "You have hungry eyes, ljubavi, tell me what it is and I'll give it to you," your bodies pressed flush against each other, his eyelashes flittering against your cheek.

"You," the maximum capacity for your brain was one-syllable words and you used it sparingly, failing to suppress a gasp when Helmut's mouth latched around a particularly sensitive spot right under your jawline.

Teeth scraped over it before he soothed the sting with his tongue. "All the things in the world, I could give them to you. And yet..." He sounded almost disappointed. Perplexed, just as you were at the strange admission. "A woman like you would have men fighting for your attention yet you give it to me so freely," he murmured softly, capturing your lips in a slow, fluid kiss once more. "I will make sure you have everything you could ever want."

Helmut's touch grew bolder as he steered the two of you towards the shallow end of the pool. The taste of him was intoxicating, like the sweetest, most alluring poison you'd ever tasted: you knew that once you had one small bit, you'd be addicted, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. His words were clever and his mouth even more, making the short stumble upstairs last hours.

A wall, baroque tapestry, marked with the wetness of the pool water, where you allowed yourself to be pressed against as he leaned into you with the entirety of his broad frame, domineering the kiss effortlessly.

You panted as your back hit the soft, million-thread count, unmade sheets of the baron's bed, staring up into his eyes and finding your own reflection in his pupils, blown wide with lust. The tiny smirk was back but now his unexpressive face was marred by a gleem, accentuating his moist, puffy lips you'd licked into and bitten in a heated frenzy.

"Beautiful, printsesa," he stated with quiet firmness, leaning over into you to unclasp and toss away the upper part of the bikini. The bottoms followed suit, flung carelessly somewhere. His hands ran over your as it sang, every tiniest nerve hypersensitive, coming alive with a fervor borne of months of longing, complimented by the summer heat and cool waters.

"Helmut," your voice wavered, flowed on the syllables as his clever, clever mouth trailed hot down your chest, briefly submerging each nipple into the sear of it. Goosebumps rose over your exposed body, highlighting a trail for him, a trail he followed eagerly. Kisses were candy sweet and marshmallow soft.

Hot breath at the apex of your thighs had you mewling and arching into it, having abandoned all shame, and Helmut found it amusing. The petite chuckle made an appearance, his fingertips ghosting over the part of your lower lips; he was as amused by your impatience as he was enthralled by the youthfulness of the gesture. "Shh, ljubavi, I will make it feel better," his accent as thick as clover honey and just as saccharine.

The first movements were tentative, brief and so light, the demanding moan slipped out of your mouth along with a growl of frustration. You felt continuous chuckling, slight stubble rasping along the sides your thighs; you felt him pick up pace and steady his hot hands on your hips as you attempted to trash against the overwhelming stimulation your pussy was receiving.

His moans, loud and wet, drove you closer to the edge like a drunk drove a Ferrari; Helmut's skill was unparalleled but it lacked precision as he lost himself in the moment just as much as you.

"Fuck, fuck, I'm- I'm so close," you managed to grunt out before the crescendo hit, eyes rolling back into your skull as the influx of more, more, more hit every nerve ending in your body. You could do little more than rest your legs on his shoulders as the noble man, the quiet storm lapped up every drop of your release.

He made the inside of you weak.

In seconds, Helmut was back on top of you, grinding his arousal into you desperately, almost begging for it and all you could do was let your body respond, mimic your lover, clench around nothing just as you felt him twitch.

"Tell me you're mine," he demanded hooking one of your legs over his hip, eyes boring into yours with everything in them plain on display. It was a terrifying thing: as if your heart had suddenly grown legs, stood up and walked out into the bare, wide world, open for all to see. "Ti moa, skaži eto," his native tongue made his voice even more hoarse, you couldn't resist anymore.

"I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours," you chanted the words like a prayer, hoping he'd be merciful - and he is. No, there's only a hidden tenderness in his hands as he drives into your with increasing force that shakes you and makes your core quiver, igniting your flesh once again like the color red; it's messy and it's sloppy and you're barely aware of Helmut muttering something into the crook of your neck as you feel yourself clench down on him with a choked moan.

"Fuck," hearing him, the polite composed man, bite the end of his own orgasm into a curse made a wave of magenta hot rush travel through your body at lightning speed, his cock pulsating and coating you, claiming you from inside out so sweetly you couldn't resist a shallow gasp into his cheek, a gasp he mirrored as his own oversensitive flesh was once more assaulted by your combined lust.

The tide of his breathing was high; both of you spent yet still drunk on the newfound sense of togetherness. It was clear as a summer's day that in your arms laid a man who'd once lost something important and you - you were a someone who's never had anything of significance and perhaps, this time each other's arms would let you both keep whatever it was that you missed.