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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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apomaro-mellow · 7 months

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Wrong Number 4

Steve was eternally grateful that he'd finally told Robin about Eddie. Because now, he could torture her with his outfit choices. Robin groaned and covered her eyes as Steve held out more shirts.

"What do you think? Stripes or no stripes?"

"Steeeeeeve", Robin whined.

"You're the one that told me stripes really shows off my chest."

"Is Eddie a tits guy? Or an ass man?"

Steve put the shirts back in the closet. "I don't know. I don't know Robin and the fact that this is a video call date makes it worse."

"Actually....actually it makes it better." Robin uncovered her face and grabbed Steve's shoulders. "You'll be on the phone the whole time!"

"Yes...We've established this", Steve said, not sure where she was going with this.

"I mean, if you're doing a video call, YOU control what Eddie sees."

Steve stared at her face for a long while as she simply emoted using her eyebrows. "Robin, no."

"Robin, yes. Come on. We're going shopping. You're waaay overdue for this. And I need a couple of things myself."

"Things going that well with Chrissy?", Steve asked right before Robin threw his shoes at him.

"What do you think I'm doing while you're on your date?", Robin grinned.

-----------------------

Eddie's excitement just got more and more intense with each day. By Wednesday he was vibrating any time his hands weren't occupied with something. He only hoped it didn't translate to his texts. Cool as a cucumber, that was his motto when it came to Steve. He couldn't come on too strong.

(9:45 am) Thinking about those beefy thighs (9:46 am) god i wanna wrap them around my head

Perfect. Smooth. And not too much.

At least he didn't think so at the time. About an hour later Eddie remembered that Steve was at work and possibly reading that text in a room full of prepubescents. And he knew he was going to reap what he sowed when Steve texted him later.

[12:01 pm] You are the ultimate distraction.

(12:02 pm) sry. i forgot you were at work

[12:03 pm] I don't think you are sorry. In fact, I think you need to be punished.

Eddie needed to get a job in coding because there was no emoji that properly conveyed the intensity of the 'boi-yoi-yoi-yoing' going on in his pants. How grateful he was that he didn't need to talk. Texting would cover any stuttering he was sure to do.

(12:04 pm) punishment? 😏 (12:04 pm) what kind of punishment?

[12:05 pm] See me after class, Mr. Munson.

God, four o'clock couldn't come fast enough. Eddie knew that'd be around the time Steve got home from work. He spent about an hour rolling around in bed before getting up, needing to distract himself. He wasn't due for work today, but he went in anyway to loiter.

"I can tell you're horny and I can tell you're just idling until you get your dick wet. Get lost, some of us have actual work to do", Jeff said.

Eddie let out a dramatic gasp. "Jeffery! Jeffords! Jeffaniel! Jeffanie!"

"Are you just going to sit there, making up full names for me or are you gonna get off your ass?"

"I'll replace all the boards and sweep out the alleys for the next two hours", Eddie said, holding his hands together like he was praying to his friend.

Jeff rubbed his chin as he considered it. "Only if you take this next party I have coming in."

Eddie looked at the group arriving. There had to be at least a dozen. And he just knew they only reserved one lane. They always only reserved one lane.

"You drive a hard bargain Jimothy."

"Not even close", Jeff crossed his arms. "And it's this or whatever ants in your pants you'll do if you're unoccupied."

Curse his friends for knowing him so well. Eddie held up his end of the deal, taking care of the party. Turned out it was a birthday party (happy 14th Ashton). But two hours later, the time had passed and Eddie went back home. He still had an hour to spare (he didn't want to leave Steve waiting), so he spent the rest of the time coming up with some ideas for their date in a few days.

[4:04 pm] Are you home?

(4:05 pm) At home and awaiting orders gorgeous (4:05 pm) Have I been a bad boy Mr. Harrington?

Eddie's phone rang and he picked it up as he crashed onto his bed. He knew Steve could hear it when he laughed on the other end.

"You need to keep a tighter lid on those urges. It was a lucky break that all the kids were focused on their dishes that they didn't see the face I made."

"Truly, my bad Stevie. But I can't help what you do to me."

Steve chuckled. "Not even a little?"

"Not one bit. Okay, maybe a little bit. The truth is, I could've said a lot more, but I was holding back."

"Really now? And what would you have said if you weren't holding back?"

Eddie could hear something that sounded like movement in a bed. Steve was getting comfortable too. He thought about the picture he had saved, of Steve's lower body in those shorts. He had been laying in bed then too. Eddie let his mind wander for a bit. What he'd do if Steve were really in bed beside him...

"Baby if you were here right now, I'd have my hands all over you. You'd think I was an octopus."

"Tell me where you'd touch me first", Steve said.

"Well I'm still thinkin' of those legs of yours. You like massages, Stevie? I could rub you down all day."

Steve imagined Eddie digging his fingers into his muscles. That would really hit the spot, especially after a workout. "Mmm, and then?"

"And then I'd wrap them around my head, like I said. I saw what you were packin' in those shorts, baby. I would love to get my mouth on you."

Eddie heard Steve let out a soft moan and he definitely heard a zipper and some shifting. God, the image of Steve stroking himself... Eddie unzipped his pants too, palming at himself while the other hand kept an ever tightening hold on the phone.

"Eddieee..."

"I wanna hear everything, baby. I'm working so hard sucking you off, I deserve to know how good I'm making you feel."

"So good, uh", Steve let out a small breath at the end.

"Yeah? I haven't even told you how I'd rock your world yet", Eddie grinned.

"I just know...You're so good with your mouth."

"You like the way I lick you up and down? How I kiss that beautiful tip?" Eddie knew he had a dick just as handsome as the rest of him, never mind that he had yet to see Steve's whole face yet. His hand pumped up and down as he envisioned the weight of Steve in his mouth. He thought about getting drunk on that taste.

Eddie groaned and his eyes fluttered close, his mouth moving faster than his brain. "Do you shave Steve?"

"....No...is that a problem?"

"Ohh it's the opposite of a problem babe. I bet you got a thick bush. I'd sink all the way down, bury my nose in it while you're fucking my throat."

Steve let out the most delicious sound as he came and Eddie wasn't too far behind. It was like he was there, hairs coarse and curly rough against his skin while Steve moaned right into his ear.

"Mmm", Steve hummed. "I know you look good now. My cum dripping off your lips."

"I'd swallow it all, sweetness. I wouldn't waste a single drop." He would take all that Steve gave him and then some. He was a greedy man.

"I know you wouldn't. I don't allow anything to go to waste in my classroom. Have you learned your lesson, Mr. Munson?"

"Maaaybeee. I might need another lesson, Mr. Harrington. Say, this Friday, at eight?", Eddie teased.

"I suppose you'll need more help studying. Don't be late, mister."

-----------------------------

For once, Steve didn't linger after work. He made sure the kids cleaned up every last dish before the last period even ended. He even let them go a minute and a half before the bell. When Steve left, he went the back way to avoid most of the other teachers and that pre-weekend conversation. He got home right away and started getting ready. Robin had her own date tonight which meant he had limited time to get her help and last minute input.

When she got home from work, the apartment was a flurry of activity between them.

"Steve, I need the blow dryer!"

"Wait! I'm almost done!"

They both crashed into each other's spaces as they tried using the one bathroom mirror.

"Why can't you use your stupid vanity mirror?", Robin asked.

"That mirror is just for my hair and it's too small."

Robin gave him a side eye. "Is that my eyeliner?"

"Is that my face cream?"

For some reason, Robin insisted on getting dressed in his room, which meant at some points their outfits got switched around and they had to re-dress. The pandemonium finally quieted when Robin left for her date and Steve was at last alone for his. It was at 8:00 sharp that Eddie sent a text.

(8:00 pm) Knock knock 😙

Steve smiled as he started a video call. His heart fluttered at the thought of finally seeing Eddie's full face. So imagine his surprise when he was instead met with a hand that had a face drawn on it. And what could only be Eddie doing a deeper, character voice.

"Hello my love. Are you ready for the romancing tonight? I hope I get lucky, ehehehehe."

To which Steve couldn't help but burst out in laughter. Any nerves he might've had flew away.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm a proper young man. I don't think I could court with someone who was so...handsy."

"I wouldn't lay a finger on you without your permission, lovely. But maybe a few smooches. Muahmuahmuah!" Eddie's hand attacked his phone's camera with kisses and Steve giggled like it was actually touching him.

As his laughing fit subsided, only then did Eddie reveal his face. He took Steve's breath away. He was literally speechless and just stood there staring, which made Eddie start to squirm a little.

"You tryina turn me to stone, Medusa?", Eddie joked.

"Sorry!", Steve apologized when he realized he had been staring. "You just...you look really nice Eddie."

"You don't look too bad yourself, handsome", Eddie smiled.

That was putting it lightly. For the both of them really. Steve felt like he was talking to the perfect man. Eddie felt like Steve had walked right out of his wet dreams.

"So, what did you order?", Steve asked as he sat down at his table. He made sure his phone was angled that it only showed him from the waist up. Robin had the bright idea that since he could control what Eddie saw, he could wear whatever he wanted under the line of sight.

He was currently wearing a blue and white striped polo shirt. And beneath that, some lacy, navy blue panties. Maybe Eddie would find out, maybe he wouldn't. Steve had his phone on the table, propped up against some books.

"I ordered the Munson special. A grilled cheese with potato soup."

"Oh, that's a Munson special, hm?"

"Damn straight. Tomato soup is still a classic, but I'd die for a potato. What'd you get?"

"I have some leftover pasta that I just added some mushrooms too. Nothing too fancy."

"Unless it's one of those truffles", Eddie pointed out.

Steve rolled his eyes as he twirled his fork. "Truffles? On a teacher's salary?"

"Hey, you could be secretly rich."

"Oh if I win the lottery, there will be signs."

"Like 5th graders using authentic truffles", Eddie nodded to himself.

They kept talking throughout their dinner and then took each other to their sinks to wash the dishes together. Eddie talked more about his friends. Some of which he worked with and the band he was in. Steve wasn't super into metal, but he liked it enough to be interested in whatever Eddie did.

When they had talked about their date night and discussed their options, they decided on dinner and a movie. Once the dishes were cleaned, Steve took Eddie over to the living room and he sat down between the coffee table and propped him against another set of books as they both queued up the movie on their ends.

"You know it's been a really long time since I've seen this movie", Steve said. "I think I was literally a kid."

"There was a time when this was literally my religion", Eddie said as Quest for Camelot started to play.

Steve knew Eddie was into Dungeons & Dragons, so him being in love with a fantasy movie made total sense.

"Did you have a crush on Garrett when you were a kid?", Steve asked, later during the movie.

"'Did'? I'd still let him use that staff on me six ways to Sunday!"

Steve laughed and he was coming to realize he laughed with Eddie much more than any of his dates in a long while.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink", Steve said as he got up. He nearly asked Eddie if he wanted something. It really was like he was right there with him. Steve grabbed a soda and then came back, sitting down in his spot again when he saw Eddie's expression.

He was silent, which was rare.

His eyes were bulging out of his head and his hand was over his mouth.

Steve was about to ask what was wrong when Eddie's eyes flicked down and then Steve got it. He had stood up. In full view of his phone. And then turned to go into the kitchen.

Eddie had gotten a first rate view of his panties.

Part 6

Tag Team (CLOSED)

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @estrellami-1 @newtstabber @omletlove @ifyoudonlysurrender @rehfan @morganski-19 @corvidcantina @dragonmama76 @just-ladyme @tinyplanet95 @goodolefashionedloverboi @idoquitelikebread @kittydeadbones @manda-panda-monium @rhapsodyinalto @paintsplatteredandimperfect @keylime-green @ihavekidneys @samsoble @honorarybrit81 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @aizawa-emma @deleataecount @thesuninyaface @fromapayphone @justmeinadaze @hbyrde36 @queenie-ofthe-void @resident-gay-bitch @bestwifehaver @dangdirtydemons @ellietheasexylibrarian @perseus-notjackson @pyrohonk @holysteddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @mrsjellymunson @geekymagicalpotato @notaqueenakhaleesi

#apo writes #stranger things #fanfiction #steddie #platonic stobin #i fuckin hated it when parties would reserve one lane and then migrate to an empty one next to them #it meant i had to change that board sooner rather than later #changing the boards wasn't too hard #it was drawing the targets #which i couldn't do for shit #and if the target came out wrong you have to replace the board #which meant wasted wood #which was why even when i replaced the board i left it to a co-worker to draw the target #which was why i knew i couldn't work there for longer than a few months #okay tragic work back story over LOL

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