#which was why even when i replaced the board i left it to a co-worker to draw the target

[apomaro-mellow]

Wrong Number 4

Steve was eternally grateful that he'd finally told Robin about Eddie. Because now, he could torture her with his outfit choices. Robin groaned and covered her eyes as Steve held out more shirts.

"What do you think? Stripes or no stripes?"

"Steeeeeeve", Robin whined.

"You're the one that told me stripes really shows off my chest."

"Is Eddie a tits guy? Or an ass man?"

Steve put the shirts back in the closet. "I don't know. I don't know Robin and the fact that this is a video call date makes it worse."

"Actually....actually it makes it better." Robin uncovered her face and grabbed Steve's shoulders. "You'll be on the phone the whole time!"

"Yes...We've established this", Steve said, not sure where she was going with this.

"I mean, if you're doing a video call, YOU control what Eddie sees."

Steve stared at her face for a long while as she simply emoted using her eyebrows. "Robin, no."

"Robin, yes. Come on. We're going shopping. You're waaay overdue for this. And I need a couple of things myself."

"Things going that well with Chrissy?", Steve asked right before Robin threw his shoes at him.

"What do you think I'm doing while you're on your date?", Robin grinned.

-----------------------

Eddie's excitement just got more and more intense with each day. By Wednesday he was vibrating any time his hands weren't occupied with something. He only hoped it didn't translate to his texts. Cool as a cucumber, that was his motto when it came to Steve. He couldn't come on too strong.

(9:45 am) Thinking about those beefy thighs (9:46 am) god i wanna wrap them around my head

Perfect. Smooth. And not too much.

At least he didn't think so at the time. About an hour later Eddie remembered that Steve was at work and possibly reading that text in a room full of prepubescents. And he knew he was going to reap what he sowed when Steve texted him later.

[12:01 pm] You are the ultimate distraction.

(12:02 pm) sry. i forgot you were at work

[12:03 pm] I don't think you are sorry. In fact, I think you need to be punished.

Eddie needed to get a job in coding because there was no emoji that properly conveyed the intensity of the 'boi-yoi-yoi-yoing' going on in his pants. How grateful he was that he didn't need to talk. Texting would cover any stuttering he was sure to do.

(12:04 pm) punishment? 😏 (12:04 pm) what kind of punishment?

[12:05 pm] See me after class, Mr. Munson.

God, four o'clock couldn't come fast enough. Eddie knew that'd be around the time Steve got home from work. He spent about an hour rolling around in bed before getting up, needing to distract himself. He wasn't due for work today, but he went in anyway to loiter.

"I can tell you're horny and I can tell you're just idling until you get your dick wet. Get lost, some of us have actual work to do", Jeff said.

Eddie let out a dramatic gasp. "Jeffery! Jeffords! Jeffaniel! Jeffanie!"

"Are you just going to sit there, making up full names for me or are you gonna get off your ass?"

"I'll replace all the boards and sweep out the alleys for the next two hours", Eddie said, holding his hands together like he was praying to his friend.

Jeff rubbed his chin as he considered it. "Only if you take this next party I have coming in."

Eddie looked at the group arriving. There had to be at least a dozen. And he just knew they only reserved one lane. They always only reserved one lane.

"You drive a hard bargain Jimothy."

"Not even close", Jeff crossed his arms. "And it's this or whatever ants in your pants you'll do if you're unoccupied."

Curse his friends for knowing him so well. Eddie held up his end of the deal, taking care of the party. Turned out it was a birthday party (happy 14th Ashton). But two hours later, the time had passed and Eddie went back home. He still had an hour to spare (he didn't want to leave Steve waiting), so he spent the rest of the time coming up with some ideas for their date in a few days.

[4:04 pm] Are you home?

(4:05 pm) At home and awaiting orders gorgeous (4:05 pm) Have I been a bad boy Mr. Harrington?

Eddie's phone rang and he picked it up as he crashed onto his bed. He knew Steve could hear it when he laughed on the other end.

"You need to keep a tighter lid on those urges. It was a lucky break that all the kids were focused on their dishes that they didn't see the face I made."

"Truly, my bad Stevie. But I can't help what you do to me."

Steve chuckled. "Not even a little?"

"Not one bit. Okay, maybe a little bit. The truth is, I could've said a lot more, but I was holding back."

"Really now? And what would you have said if you weren't holding back?"

Eddie could hear something that sounded like movement in a bed. Steve was getting comfortable too. He thought about the picture he had saved, of Steve's lower body in those shorts. He had been laying in bed then too. Eddie let his mind wander for a bit. What he'd do if Steve were really in bed beside him...

"Baby if you were here right now, I'd have my hands all over you. You'd think I was an octopus."

"Tell me where you'd touch me first", Steve said.

"Well I'm still thinkin' of those legs of yours. You like massages, Stevie? I could rub you down all day."

Steve imagined Eddie digging his fingers into his muscles. That would really hit the spot, especially after a workout. "Mmm, and then?"

"And then I'd wrap them around my head, like I said. I saw what you were packin' in those shorts, baby. I would love to get my mouth on you."

Eddie heard Steve let out a soft moan and he definitely heard a zipper and some shifting. God, the image of Steve stroking himself... Eddie unzipped his pants too, palming at himself while the other hand kept an ever tightening hold on the phone.

"Eddieee..."

"I wanna hear everything, baby. I'm working so hard sucking you off, I deserve to know how good I'm making you feel."

"So good, uh", Steve let out a small breath at the end.

"Yeah? I haven't even told you how I'd rock your world yet", Eddie grinned.

"I just know...You're so good with your mouth."

"You like the way I lick you up and down? How I kiss that beautiful tip?" Eddie knew he had a dick just as handsome as the rest of him, never mind that he had yet to see Steve's whole face yet. His hand pumped up and down as he envisioned the weight of Steve in his mouth. He thought about getting drunk on that taste.

Eddie groaned and his eyes fluttered close, his mouth moving faster than his brain. "Do you shave Steve?"

"....No...is that a problem?"

"Ohh it's the opposite of a problem babe. I bet you got a thick bush. I'd sink all the way down, bury my nose in it while you're fucking my throat."

Steve let out the most delicious sound as he came and Eddie wasn't too far behind. It was like he was there, hairs coarse and curly rough against his skin while Steve moaned right into his ear.

"Mmm", Steve hummed. "I know you look good now. My cum dripping off your lips."

"I'd swallow it all, sweetness. I wouldn't waste a single drop." He would take all that Steve gave him and then some. He was a greedy man.

"I know you wouldn't. I don't allow anything to go to waste in my classroom. Have you learned your lesson, Mr. Munson?"

"Maaaybeee. I might need another lesson, Mr. Harrington. Say, this Friday, at eight?", Eddie teased.

"I suppose you'll need more help studying. Don't be late, mister."

-----------------------------

For once, Steve didn't linger after work. He made sure the kids cleaned up every last dish before the last period even ended. He even let them go a minute and a half before the bell. When Steve left, he went the back way to avoid most of the other teachers and that pre-weekend conversation. He got home right away and started getting ready. Robin had her own date tonight which meant he had limited time to get her help and last minute input.

When she got home from work, the apartment was a flurry of activity between them.

"Steve, I need the blow dryer!"

"Wait! I'm almost done!"

They both crashed into each other's spaces as they tried using the one bathroom mirror.

"Why can't you use your stupid vanity mirror?", Robin asked.

"That mirror is just for my hair and it's too small."

Robin gave him a side eye. "Is that my eyeliner?"

"Is that my face cream?"

For some reason, Robin insisted on getting dressed in his room, which meant at some points their outfits got switched around and they had to re-dress. The pandemonium finally quieted when Robin left for her date and Steve was at last alone for his. It was at 8:00 sharp that Eddie sent a text.

(8:00 pm) Knock knock 😙

Steve smiled as he started a video call. His heart fluttered at the thought of finally seeing Eddie's full face. So imagine his surprise when he was instead met with a hand that had a face drawn on it. And what could only be Eddie doing a deeper, character voice.

"Hello my love. Are you ready for the romancing tonight? I hope I get lucky, ehehehehe."

To which Steve couldn't help but burst out in laughter. Any nerves he might've had flew away.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm a proper young man. I don't think I could court with someone who was so...handsy."

"I wouldn't lay a finger on you without your permission, lovely. But maybe a few smooches. Muahmuahmuah!" Eddie's hand attacked his phone's camera with kisses and Steve giggled like it was actually touching him.

As his laughing fit subsided, only then did Eddie reveal his face. He took Steve's breath away. He was literally speechless and just stood there staring, which made Eddie start to squirm a little.

"You tryina turn me to stone, Medusa?", Eddie joked.

"Sorry!", Steve apologized when he realized he had been staring. "You just...you look really nice Eddie."

"You don't look too bad yourself, handsome", Eddie smiled.

That was putting it lightly. For the both of them really. Steve felt like he was talking to the perfect man. Eddie felt like Steve had walked right out of his wet dreams.

"So, what did you order?", Steve asked as he sat down at his table. He made sure his phone was angled that it only showed him from the waist up. Robin had the bright idea that since he could control what Eddie saw, he could wear whatever he wanted under the line of sight.

He was currently wearing a blue and white striped polo shirt. And beneath that, some lacy, navy blue panties. Maybe Eddie would find out, maybe he wouldn't. Steve had his phone on the table, propped up against some books.

"I ordered the Munson special. A grilled cheese with potato soup."

"Oh, that's a Munson special, hm?"

"Damn straight. Tomato soup is still a classic, but I'd die for a potato. What'd you get?"

"I have some leftover pasta that I just added some mushrooms too. Nothing too fancy."

"Unless it's one of those truffles", Eddie pointed out.

Steve rolled his eyes as he twirled his fork. "Truffles? On a teacher's salary?"

"Hey, you could be secretly rich."

"Oh if I win the lottery, there will be signs."

"Like 5th graders using authentic truffles", Eddie nodded to himself.

They kept talking throughout their dinner and then took each other to their sinks to wash the dishes together. Eddie talked more about his friends. Some of which he worked with and the band he was in. Steve wasn't super into metal, but he liked it enough to be interested in whatever Eddie did.

When they had talked about their date night and discussed their options, they decided on dinner and a movie. Once the dishes were cleaned, Steve took Eddie over to the living room and he sat down between the coffee table and propped him against another set of books as they both queued up the movie on their ends.

"You know it's been a really long time since I've seen this movie", Steve said. "I think I was literally a kid."

"There was a time when this was literally my religion", Eddie said as Quest for Camelot started to play.

Steve knew Eddie was into Dungeons & Dragons, so him being in love with a fantasy movie made total sense.

"Did you have a crush on Garrett when you were a kid?", Steve asked, later during the movie.

"'Did'? I'd still let him use that staff on me six ways to Sunday!"

Steve laughed and he was coming to realize he laughed with Eddie much more than any of his dates in a long while.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink", Steve said as he got up. He nearly asked Eddie if he wanted something. It really was like he was right there with him. Steve grabbed a soda and then came back, sitting down in his spot again when he saw Eddie's expression.

He was silent, which was rare.

His eyes were bulging out of his head and his hand was over his mouth.

Steve was about to ask what was wrong when Eddie's eyes flicked down and then Steve got it. He had stood up. In full view of his phone. And then turned to go into the kitchen.

Eddie had gotten a first rate view of his panties.

Part 6

Tag Team (CLOSED)

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @estrellami-1 @newtstabber @omletlove @ifyoudonlysurrender @rehfan @morganski-19 @corvidcantina @dragonmama76 @just-ladyme @tinyplanet95 @goodolefashionedloverboi @idoquitelikebread @kittydeadbones @manda-panda-monium @rhapsodyinalto @paintsplatteredandimperfect @keylime-green @ihavekidneys @samsoble @honorarybrit81 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @aizawa-emma @deleataecount @thesuninyaface @fromapayphone @justmeinadaze @hbyrde36 @queenie-ofthe-void @resident-gay-bitch @bestwifehaver @dangdirtydemons @ellietheasexylibrarian @perseus-notjackson @pyrohonk @holysteddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @mrsjellymunson @geekymagicalpotato @notaqueenakhaleesi

[cobaincreates]

touch pt. 2

warnings: smut (surprise), oral (female receiving), 18+, language, literally no plot & i’m not sorry

count: 3k+

part two part two part two baby! thanks for all the love on the first! ✨taglist is open✨ i’m smoochin’ all your faces

— — —

sarah bustled around her room like it was on fire. her clothes were thrown messily on her floor and she had half of her hair up in a crazy-looking bun. you laughed from where you snuggled into her pillow. you were still rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, having woken up to the closet doors groaning open.

“oh my god, where the hell did i put them?” sarah said, but you knew she wasn’t asking you in particular. her hands dug through a basket in her closet.

sitting up, you figured now was as good a time as any to get moving. with sarah leaving soon, you didn’t feel comfortable just lying in her bed like she insisted. given that you were best friends, and her house was your house, and vice versa, you jumped at the opportunity of leaving. she always offered the possibility of you staying longer than you wanted because she was a good friend.

which was why when you cleared your throat and tasted her brother, your cheeks lit up with a steady burning fire. you were glad her back was to you as she switched bikini tops, replacing the blue for the yellow. were you ashamed or reminiscing? there wasn’t time to think about it as she finished getting ready.

“you’re more than welcome to stay, you know. i feel bad running out on you.” sarah repeated once more.

“it’s fine. go have fun with john b and fill me in later.” you wiggled your eyebrows at her as you gathered your things and threw on your sweatshirt.

“how about we order some takeout and binge watch how to get away with murder next weekend?”

“that would be great.”

sarah beamed at you before leading you out of her room and down the stairs. you kept your eyes straight but noted the ajar door to rafe’s room. maybe he had already left for the day.

“morning!” rose chirped happily as you followed sarah into the kitchen. it all seemed very familiar as you walked in, even though you’d been in the cameron’s kitchen more times than you could count, but also because the last time had been less than six hours ago.

everybody was awake and doing something. wheezie was eating freezer waffles, ward had a few manila folders splayed in front of him on the table, and rose was cutting up oranges. sarah gave her a hug from behind as she passed and then turned to smack rafe’s back lightly as he cooked something on the stove.

you breathed in sharply at the sight of him. you blinked last night’s events away given that his entire family was right in front of you and now was not the time to think about it. you reminded yourself not to give anything away with your best friend in the same room. but you also wondered if rafe thought the same thing. would he try to hide it?

“you two sleep okay? i turned the air off since it was so nice out last night.” rose said.

you caught rafe’s eye when he looked over, that tiny jolt going up your arms. your feet melted into the floor and rose looked over at you with a sweet smile as sarah leaned on her other side.

“i was pretty comfortable,” sarah shrugged and took a slice of orange.

“you girls hungry? i’m sure rafe could make something up.”

“i’m going out with john b. he should be here in a few minutes.”

“y/n?” rose lifted her perfect brows as you stood at the end of the island, holding all of your things tightly.

“i’m actually going to head out,” you said. “thank you for the offer though.”

“aw, are you sure?” rose set down the knife on the cutting board. rafe glanced over his shoulder as the contents of the pan sizzled.

“yes. thank you though. i’ll see you guys again soon.” you hugged rose when she came toward you and you waved to sarah and the rest of the family at the table. you and rafe looked at each other once more before you walked out.

—

“oooh, look at these! i love these! how much?”

“12 dollars. they would go great with your top actually.”

“you’re so right! i’ll take them.”

the customer beamed at you as they handed over the set of sea glass earrings. you rang them up and returned some change before wrapping the jewelry in tissue paper and sealing it with the boutique’s sticker. you placed the wrapped gift carefully into a tiny reusable bag and handed it over.

“have a good day,” you smiled your noteworthy customer service smile and relaxed once they left, the front doorbell going off.

it wasn’t that you hated your job. but you hated your job. the main reason was that it was part time, and the second main reason was because you hated working in retail. it was exhausting having to put on a fake smile and answer stupid questions like whether or not you sold earrings when you literally worked in a jewelry store. it was tiring really, if only for four hours a day.

thankfully, you were due to clock out in about fifteen minutes and you couldn’t wait. you busied yourself with cleaning a few displays then restocking some with new styles your boss, the owner, had batched out the week before. 

“hey, y/n,” you looked up at your co-worker coming through the front door. your shoulders tensed as the cheery doorbell went off, but the arrival of your co-worker was always a relief.

“did you dye your hair again?” you eyed their bright locks as they went behind the counter and situated themselves for the rest of the day.

“yup and i think i’ll stick with it for a while. you like?”

“it’s bright.” you tried to say it as politely as you could. “maybe you’ll bring in more customers.”

they laughed at your comment and disappeared into the back. you turned to the display and set a few necklaces down.

once you gathered your things and said goodbye to your boss in the back office, you waved to your co-worker and toned out the bell above your head as you left.

the main street where the boutique was was swarming like a beehive. it was tourist season after all and there was nothing better to do on the island than shop or laze around at the beach. the island was perfect since both activities didn’t require much travel.

you glanced into a few windows as you walked down the sidewalk, dodging a couple kids with heaping amounts of ice cream on a tiny cone. the sun beat down from above and it was a wonder that the ice cream hadn’t already melted down their wrists.

your ears perked up at the sound of a car horn and a second later a truck was pulling up right beside you. looking over curiously, you recognized the gray truck and the person behind the wheel. your stomach leaped.

“hey.” rafe called from his seat as you both came to a stop.

“hi.” you said, feeling frozen momentarily.

“do you want a ride?” he asked in a hopeful tone that you couldn’t stop thinking about once it left his mouth.

you hadn’t seen or heard from him in a couple days since your sleepover with sarah and a part of you didn’t think you’d talk to him again until you went back to his house. you thought it was weird that he didn’t text you or even call, but then you reminded yourself that he was your best friend’s brother, and she didn’t know about what had happened between you two. you wondered if she would be angry with you.

you thought about accepting his offer, seeing no real harm in it. it was only a fifteen-minute walk otherwise. but something drove you to say yes and before you knew it, you were grabbing ahold of the door handle.

“thanks.” you said as you settled into the passenger’s seat. he pulled away from the curb easily as you put your seatbelt on, listening for the satisfying click of the lock.

“you just get out of work?” he asked, making small talk.

“yeah.” you nodded and glanced at his arm. the vein taunted you as he reached out to fiddle with the radio. you shifted in your seat. “what were you doing?”

“i had to drop some stuff off at the post office for my dad and work. i saw you walking and figured i could offer you a ride. even though you don’t live far.” he said with a soft shrug.

“i appreciate it.” you said and looked out the rolled down window.

you watched the cement walkway disappear and turn into the fine sand along the shoulder of the road. houses started to litter the street instead of the businesses and storefronts. you could hear the sand under rafe’s tires and you closed your eyes for a moment to focus on the breeze. you opened them back up when you felt the ghost of rafe’s fingers in your hair.

looking away from the dusty shoulder, you set your gaze on the road stretched before you. rafe kept a lose hand on the very top of the wheel, his other resting in his lap. you swallowed and licked your lips. 

“rafe?”

“yeah?”

willing yourself to look up at him, trying to act quickly before he reached your house, you stared at the side of his face. he glanced over quickly then back to the road.

“don’t bring me home.” you said in a small voice, hoping the question didn’t lead to rejection.

his eyes flicked to your face, his jaw flexing. “okay. where do you want to go?”

you let your gaze waver, wandering down his chin to his neck where he visibly swallowed. did you make him nervous?

“just somewhere private,” you said.

you wet your lips when he looked at you again, your eyes trailing from his neck to his face. your hands were itching to reach across and touch him, but they settled on fidgeting in your lap. when you looked out the windshield again, you saw your yellow front door pass by as rafe continued to drive. you took a deep breath in.

after a couple turns and the road turning into more sand, rafe pulled to a dead end in front of the marsh. the engine cut off with a turn of the ignition key and fizzled out to let the lapping water fill the car. you kept your eyes on the small bay ahead, spotting a dragonfly whizzing by over the water. letting the marsh sounds fill your ears, it seemed to calm your nerves.

you nervously glanced at rafe in the quiet cab of the truck. you wondered what was going through his head. he turned his eyes to you, letting them linger around your face. you swallowed.

giving a mental swift kick to your own rear, you looked over your shoulder into the back seat and unbuckled yourself. you slipped the strap of your bag off your shoulder and left it in the seat as you twisted and crawled over the console. rafe watched you, a dumbfounded smile making its way onto his lips.

you laughed when you saw it. “come on,” you patted to the seat beside you and scooted to the right so he’d have enough room.

rafe looked gigantic when he turned in his seat, bumping into the wheel and nearly pushing on the horn. you grinned as you watched him, the simple journey into the backseat seeming so wild. it felt like you were somewhere you shouldn’t be with someone your parents had warned you about. your parents loved rafe actually.

his knee bumped into yours once he was settled and situated. the space was too small for the two of you but you liked feeling his skin against yours. it also felt much more private than the open windows in the front.

looking over at rafe, you let your hand fall easily to his knee. he shifted his top half and closed most of the space between you, bringing an arm to rest atop the seat behind you. you breathed softly, trying not to show how fast your heart had started to thrum.

your eyes flicked down to rafe’s lips and you thought about how you didn’t know what they felt like.

“what are you thinking?” you asked as you licked your own lips.

rafe reached a hand up to your cheek, finally touching you and nearly drawing a moan from your throat as you leaned into his touch. when had you become so touch-starved? well, you could probably answer that.

“how badly i want to kiss you right now.”

you let out a breath as he looked down at your open and ready mouth. you both leaned in and finally kissed, rafe’s lips capturing yours and yours capturing his. your hand moved to his neck. his fingers on your cheek traveled into your hair again. you didn’t mean to make a noise but come on! you loved feeling his fingers in your hair.

“how i have you in my truck, in my backseat.” he pulled away to say, in a near whisper, then kissed you again. he licked into your mouth and it was difficult to find the words to portray just how amazing it felt. needless to say, your underwear was going to be soaked any second now.

you opened for him and moved closer to eliminate any space between you. he parted from your lips to travel downward. you leaned your head back, happily giving him the access he craved. your breath was coming out heavier now, but you didn’t have that panic of losing your breath like drowning. it was a good situation to lose your breath.

“how it’s been two days and i haven’t stopped thinking about the other night.” he admitted into the thin skin under your jaw. he switched hands, one holding your head in place and the other skimming over your chest. he nipped at your flesh.

“rafe,” you moaned and grabbed a fistful of his shirt.

“what do you want?” he asked, his hot breath blowing across your cheeks. you peeked your eyes open and saw tiny flakes of brown in his eyes. his hand traveled further until it landed on your thigh, squeezing and triggering the sweetest of shivers.

“i want your mouth on me.”

pressing a kiss to your lips, rafe pulled away again to look over your face. “are you sure?”

you nodded and let go of his shirt to touch his cheek. you just wanted to feel his mouth everywhere on you.

“please,” you said. you shuffled away from him reluctantly so you could situate yourself on the seat. your head and shoulders rested against the back door and you brought your legs up over his lap, already having slipped your shoes off. he watched you intriguingly. your stomach sank a little, hoping he wasn’t going to turn you down.

when his hands reached toward your bottoms, you couldn’t help the smile that took over your face. he undid the button and tugged them down. lifting your legs so you could open them for him, he leaned forward and pressed a sweet kiss to the inside of your knee. his fingers traced your calf as he shuffled and bent down as awkwardly as possible in the cramped space. you felt bad for a moment until you saw the way he looked up at you. he wanted this just as much as you did.

keeping eye contact with you as he placed his mouth right over your pubic bone, you moaned faintly. it was so delicate and soft that you didn’t expect it to feel that way. he caressed your calf as he pressed another kiss over your underwear, moving lower and lower to where you had soaked them through. your face went a little red, anticipating his reaction to it.

he looked godly as he stared up the expanse of your torso and to your eyes, all the while his lips pressed against your clothed entrance. his groan at the state of your underwear sent ripples out from the exact spot he kissed, like the vibrations of him sent shockwaves through you.

“you’re soaked,” he breathed against you and had you wanting to close your legs. instead, you slipped from his grasp and took your underwear off.

pressing your left leg into the back of the seat, you opened for rafe again. he looked down at you in front of him and licked his lips hungrily.

“god, you’re fucking pretty.”

you bit your lip at the way he looked at you, like he wanted to go to town. you were all for it really, but with the way he’d been touching you so far you had a feeling he’d be super gentle.

taking your leg and guiding it over his shoulder, he pressed a kiss to your thigh. then he finally tasted you with a savoring lick between your folds. it felt so good that he even hummed against you. you moaned in return and slipped your eyes closed. you needed something to hold on to. searching for the seat, you reached up to that tiny metal pole of the headrest and curled your fingers around it. it was cool and grounded you to where you were.

rafe licked another stripe, making a delicious noise with his tongue. you were sure if you weren’t so aroused that you’d gag at the sound.

one of his hands moved to your hip now, his skin rough and warm against yours. a gasp left your lips as you flinched without much thought, your leg over his shoulder tightening. they were all caused by rafe’s tongue brushing over your clit, something you hadn’t expected yet. you surely welcomed it when he did it again after feeling your reaction. he did it softly the second time around and you felt him shift below you before one of his fingers appeared at your entrance.

“fuck,” you whispered mostly to yourself. rafe pulled away a second later and you gasped as his finger coated in your arousal before pushing into you at the same time he reconnected with your clit.

you moaned lowly from the back of your throat. “rafe, that feels so good.”

he spent a few seconds sucking on you until he disappeared again. “look at me,” he said with a squeeze to your hip. his finger continued to move.

you breathed through your mouth as you opened your eyes and looked down at him. his seemed a smidge darker, but he held a sweet and fascinated smile on his lips.

“do you want another?”

“y-yes, please.”

you reached down and grabbed ahold of his wrist on your hip. your fingers tightened around the headrest at the same time. rafe pushed in another and returned to your clit, his tongue moving. you moaned as you watched him, wondering why you had even closed your eyes in the first place. he looked heavenly between your legs, and it felt even better.

pulling his fingers out, he brought them to his lips and licked them clean. “fuck, you taste so good, baby.”

you whimpered the next moment when he wrapped his hand around your thigh and licked up your folds. both of your hands let go to attach to his hair, your fingers spreading and pulling.

rafe’s mouth worked over you a bit quicker this time and you could tell he was losing himself in it, but you were enjoying it. it was startling when his tongue dipped into you and he pulled away only to spit, but it blew your mind. he licked widely up to your clit then, mixing everything in to one as he closed his mouth over the sensitive mound.

“oh my god.”

you felt your muscles tightening in your abdomen and the familiar feeling of wanting to move, of wanting to release. your feet tensed, a white-hot fervor starting in your toes.

“fuck, rafe, i’m going to come.” you gasped. “make me come, please, please.”

rafe obliged, his tongue flicking over you and causing your muscles to tighten even more. your eyes pricked with tears; your legs tightened on either side of him. he held them open and you wanted to curse him out for not letting you close them, to trap him in place and never have him stop.

your hips lifted off the seat, bucking against his face as you grew closer. you thought you were ripping his hair out when you came undone, moaning loudly out into the truck, to the marsh. seconds later, your grip loosened on his scalp as he licked you clean, catching everything on his tongue.

pressing a kiss to your thigh, rafe pulled away slowly and sat up. you lay there for a moment, collecting yourself and catching your breath. the muscles in your legs felt like they liquified, but you could feel them harden again to help you move. the fire in your toes died out, a pulse still existent from your release. 

“thank you.” you said to rafe as you sat up and pulled your underwear back on tiredly. you looked over to find him watching you with a soft smile and a subtle dent in his shorts. “can i do something for you?” you asked, nodding toward his lap.

rafe glanced down then shook his head at you. “no, that’s okay. i liked just tasting you.”

he didn’t say anything else as he brushed your hair over your shoulder and pressed a kiss there. his hand ran down your back. you grinned at your lap, holding your shorts and wondering where to go from there. rafe’s hand felt nice, his thumb rubbing gently. when you looked over at him, he leaned in and kissed you slowly. his hand moved up to the back of your neck while one of yours reached to touch his jaw.

“i should get home,” you said when you broke apart. you found those brown specks again and wanted nothing more than to analyze them further, but if you didn’t show your face at home soon, your phone would be interjecting in your time with rafe.

he nodded in understanding and moved apart from you so you could pull your shorts back on. “when can i see you again?” 

it was such a stupid thing to make your heart leap in your chest. it even made your body flush as if it already wasn’t.

you grinned at him. “you have my number.”

he nodded again and moved in for another kiss. you reciprocated and gave it your all, hoping that if he hadn’t already decided, that he’d call you or text you tonight. it was thrilling to think about the next time you’d see him.

⭐️taglist of beauties & babes!⭐️

@tovvaa​ @fttayla @dontjinx-it @moniamaybank @drewstarkeygf @cheshirecat107​ @jjmaybankzz​ @obxcunt @honeyyhemmings @dvakat @macey730 @twinklelilstarkey @disrecpectful @prettylilwolf-blog @jjcanloveme @ityagirljay @igotmajordaddyissues​

[kingstylesdaily]

What the 2021 Grammy Awards Will Look Like

Artists including Billie Eilish, BTS, and Taylor Swift will perform in a circle of five stages with masked crew at the center — in a ceremony that first-time showrunner Ben Winston calls “part Grammys, part Abbey Road studio session”

Ben Winston is exhausted. The television producer, who moved from the U.K. to Los Angeles six years ago to start The Late Late Show With James Corden, is a week away from executive-producing his first Grammys telecast. “I literally had two hours of sleep last night,” he tells Rolling Stone via Zoom.

On Sunday, March 7th, the Recording Academy revealed a slate of performing artists for March 14th’s 63rd Annual Grammy Awards that includes Billie Eilish, BTS, Taylor Swift, Cardi B, and Harry Styles. But while those names are on the lineup, Winston knows nothing about live TV is ever set in stone — especially in the time of a pandemic —so he’s been spending his days double- and triple-checking plans, waking up at 4:30 a.m. dry-eyed and restless. He’s worked to make a show “with heart,” he says — one that “doesn’t feel isolated, quiet, or alone.” He also had to take extra steps to ensure the three-and-a-half hour show, which will not take place at the Grammys’ usual home of the Staples Center, is Covid-safe for performers and attendees. Despite all that, he appears remarkably enthusiastic and alert.

Here’s what viewers next Sunday can expect from music’s biggest night, according to Winston: a multi-stage, audience-free show that highlights the year’s creative triumphs, social justice movements, as well as Covid-19’s impact on the arts. Winston hints at several “unbelievably powerful” performances on the slate, adding that the Grammys “absolutely are acknowledging what’s happened” in the country in the last year.

Winston, who in 2018 co-produced Bruno Mars’ well-received live show at the Apollo for CBS, also wanted to highlight independent venues, which are the “lifeblood of this industry” and a launchpad for emerging musicians — so the Grammys will feature guest spots from owners and workers of iconic American venues, including L.A.’s Troubadour and Hotel Café, N.Y.’s Apollo, and Nashville’s Station Inn. “I drive past the Troubadour on my way home from work every night,” Winston says. “It’s a significant thing for me when I look at it all boarded up. I always think, ‘When those boards come down, this will be over.’ That will be the sign. That will be the day where it’s like, ‘We got through this.'” Winston realized from his conversations with venues that many of them put on their last shows on March 14th, 2020, meaning the Grammys will mark the one-year anniversary of the shutdown.

Employees will come on camera to “tell us a little bit about their venue” and present some of the awards. “So, you’ve got, like, a bartender at a beautiful, independent venue — and she’s giving out Album of the Year to these megastars,” he explains. His goal is to acknowledge the people who work tirelessly to keep these stomping grounds afloat and have recently lost their jobs. “Those venues are made up by the bartender and the security guard, the manager, the box office person, and the cleaner at the end of the night.” He hopes to remind people of the importance of supporting local venues again when it’s safe to do so.

Originally, the Grammys were scheduled for January 31st, but organizers announced a move to March right after the new year. Winston says he felt American morale was at a low point in January — between political insurrection, an impeachment trial, and Covid-19 running rampant in Los Angeles — and it “didn’t feel right” to put the show on in the middle of that. The Recording Academy and CBS, which exclusively airs the annual show, both supported his decision to postpone. “I can now do everything that I wanted to do in my best-case scenario for this year,” he says of Sunday’s show.

Sunday’s location is an undisclosed building in Los Angeles, but Winston teases that the new venue is “massive,” “magical,” and “the biggest building I’ve ever been in indoors.” “I don’t want it to look like I’m criticizing Staples, because it’s the most amazing venue,” he emphasizes, sharing that he’s open to bringing the Grammys back to the arena in the future if they ask him to. While he does believe that Staples is a safe place, he says he wanted to go above and beyond to make even the most-skeptical participants feel undoubtedly safe.

A team of Covid safety officers oversaw the production set-up, and artists will enter the stage from different directions to minimize contact. Each artist also has their own backstage area. The space “allowed us to build an entire world,” he says.

The show will involve five stages of the same size and shape, four of which are for performances and one of which is for presenters. Stages are organized in a circle, facing one another, and crew members will work from the middle of the set. “People will perform while the other three or four artists on their stages watch, applaud, and enjoy. As soon as that one finishes, the next one goes, the next one goes, and the next one goes. Every 45 minutes, you change out those stages, and you bring another four megastars into the room,” says Winston, who was partly inspired for the “part-Grammys, part-Abbey Road studio session” setup by British shows he watched as a child, including Jools Holland and TFI Friday.

It’s going to be a “bespoke night of music that I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to repeat,” Winston says. “It’s about taking a camera into a room, and making an amazing musical moment by filming it quite simply and elegantly.” Performances, which started being planned in April 2020, will be a mix of live and pre-recorded — a fully live show would involve too many crew members moving sets and risking close contact — but the whole thing is intended to feel completely live. (Winston challenges viewers to try and guess which sets are pre-recorded; he designed them to be difficult to tell.)

To help plan the sprawling, immersive show, Winston brought in a suite of collaborators including co-executive producer Jesse Collins, who produced The Weeknd’s Super Bowl halftime show; co-executive producer Raj Kapoor, who handled creative direction for various artists on the last seven Grammys and produced Vegas residencies for the likes of the Backstreet Boys and Mariah Carey; producer Fatima Robinson, whose expansive background in creative direction and choreography landed her the Black Eyed Peas’ 2011 halftime show and Kendrick Lamar’s 2016 Grammy performance; producer Misty Buckley, who handled production design for Kacey Musgraves’ 2020 Christmas show; talent executive Patrick Menton from Dick Clark Productions; Corden collaborator Josie Cliff; and Super Bowl halftime, Olympic ceremony, Oscars, and Emmys director Hamish Hamilton, who Winston describes as a “legend” he’s admired since he was 14 years old. (David Wild, who has written for the Grammys since 2001 and became a producer in 2016, is the only person returning to his role.) Winston also points out that artists were heavily involved in designing their own performances.

Rather than have cameras pan over empty seats and an awkwardly small stage, the production team decided to reinvent the visual format with the five-stage setup. The pandemic’s limitations, coupled with the advantages of new faces coming in with fresh perspectives, helped them refrain from thinking in terms of what the Grammys had done before, he said.

For the most part, Covid-19 didn’t force too many changes. It did give Winston a lot of anxiety.

“There’s been so much uncertainty with what you’re allowed to do,” he says. Changing international quarantine rules made him question whether certain performers could fly in, while health guidance keeps fluctuating: “Every time my computer or phone dings, my first instinct is, ‘Oh, God, what’s gone wrong?’ I don’t know if that’s ever been my mentality before.”

While all the performers are confirmed and currently Covid-free, “you never know, one of their girlfriends could have Covid and have to quarantine, it’s all just bonkers,” Winston says. “There’s one artist that may, in the end, not be able to make it here due to rules of the country they’re currently in. There’s one immigration issue that we’ve got left.”

The show does not have replacements on hand if anyone pulls out — it’ll just cut that performance out.

Above all, Winston wants the 2021 Grammys to focus attention off of dire times. “I want people to be able to watch the 2021 Grammys in 2040 and go, ‘Wow, what an amazing show that was,’ and not go, ‘Oh, that was the Covid year, that’s why they had to do that,'” he says. “I think that’s what we could achieve if we get it right on Sunday.”

via RollingStone.com

[writing-in-april]

The 5 Stages of Grief

Stage Two: Anger (2/5)

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer POV)

Summary: Spencer going through each of the stages of grief after the death of the reader. Stage two is anger.

A/N: Thank you for all the love this series has gotten just after posting the first part!! I know angst isn’t for everyone— and neither is seeing Spencer in pain but thank you to all the people who read it 🥰 Again there’s a lot of rhetorical questions in this chapter- plus a lot of repition in Spencer’s thoughts. and, again each chapter gets progressively longer (cause each stage lasts a longer period of time) I did want to clarify that the only thing in this series that’s really going to give away what season it’s in is the people that are on the team. Requests are open and thanks for reading!

Warnings ⚠️ (if you want full warnings for the series check the Masterlist): Unnecessary agression against Spencer’s co-workers, Spencer attacking an unsub, Talk of death, Blood, Talk of guns, Unreliable narrator

Main Masterlist | 5 Stages of Grief Masterlist

Word count: 1.6k

The water that I had been submerged under immediately following the denial slipping away was slowly being replaced with a fire that burned hot. As I was being brought back to the police station in one of the bureau supplied SUVs nothing else was on my mind except the scorching anger that flickered inside me. I was inflamed with rage, so much so that I didn’t care to respond to Morgan’s soothing words to me. The words did nothing to douse the flames flaring to life within me, it just made me wish I did shut him up back at the crime scene. I should regret that I almost injured part of my own team earlier when I was blinded by denial, but the roaring inferno that consumed me was forcing me to focus only on the man that dared to pull the trigger.

“Shut up!” I snapped hotly at Morgan. In response he gave me a wounded look, I could care less about his feelings right now, he didn’t have his significant other murdered right in front of him. That at least got him to be quiet for a moment, which allowed me to let a few hot tears slip down my cheeks. They were tears of frustration and anger, they might as well have been gasoline poured on me acting as a propellant for my hostile feelings.

What further fueled the fire that burned hot inside me was the fact that they would never fulfill the dreams they had for their life. There was also a small part of me that was selfish, the fact that I would never be able to experience those dreams with them, it only served as another accelerant for the fire within me.

They deserved a better way to go, they deserved not to be shot in the back alley behind a gas station. They deserved to die surrounded by loved ones after living a long full life, with me right beside them.

When we pulled up in front of the station I quickly shot out of the vehicle, almost forgetting to even unbuckle my seatbelt. Morgan swiftly followed behind me trying to catch up with my long belligerent strides.

“Wait kid!” He grabbed my arm that was still covered in their blood, cardigan had been soaked enough to even bleed through to my button up. My once pristine purple cardigan was stained blood red, I would never wear this again. As soon as I got the chance I would burn it, even if it was gifted to me by them.

“Don’t call me kid.” My statement was laced with a deadly tone, I didn’t want his help nor did I need his pity. I yanked my arm out of his grip, then storming up the steps and barging into the station. The police officers all looked at me with varying looks of sadness that made me want to wipe their expression off their face. They had no right to be sad. They didn’t even know them.

I paced by the evidence board waiting for any news, not caring that I was still stuck in my bloodied clothes. Most of the team had left to go follow a lead a while ago leaving me with Emily. At least she didn’t feel the need to speak to me. She knew there was nothing she could say or do to make this situation better.

“Spencer, can you come with me?” JJ asked me gently. I perked up instantly at those words, hoping that they had at least been able to track down some sort of information. At least then maybe my fire would be partially quelled.

My breath hitched when I saw what JJ had led me to see. There he was sitting at the interrogation table, the only thing separating us was the one way glass. There was no doubt in my mind, it was him.

JJ then looked at Hotch and Rossi with a saddened expression before joining Morgan in the room where the unsub was shackled to the table. They started the interrogation of what they were all probably saying was the ‘suspect’, but I knew him to be the perpetrator.

“Where did you find him?” The volume of my voice was soft when I spoke, though my words still had an edge of fury to it.

“He was found a mile away from the scene by some of the officers on patrol, with a gun of the same caliber that- Anyway, we are just waiting for ballistics to confirm.” Rossi was gentle as he explained the situation to me. My mind wandered again instead of fully listening to the reason this man was apprehended. Where was everyone’s rage? Why wasn’t anyone angry? The sadness everyone permeated right now, did nothing to help bring this man to justice. Justice was needed. Real action was needed. Vengeance was needed.

“It’s definitely him.” I wasn’t paying attention to the man’s recount or his alibi that I had no doubt was fake. It didn’t matter to me, there was no doubt in my mind that he was guilty.

“Are you sure?” Hotch finally spoke up with a tone of authority, seemingly unaffected by the events of today. “You never said if you got a good look at him or not.”

My face hardened into stone at Hotch’s question. Was he trying to make me more mad? Was he trying to goad me into retaliation? Did he even care about them? Did he even care that one of his co-workers had been murdered? Or was he really as stone cold as everyone made him out to be? Maybe Haley’s murder had really made him void of all emotion. I couldn’t do that. I needed to be angry, I needed it to fuel me into bringing this man to justice. Maybe it wouldn’t be the most legal form of justice, but I would make sure he’d see it, whether it was by my fist or the courts.

“It’s him.” I said with even more conviction, almost on the edge of yelling at the two of them. I turned around to face my two bosses, a dark expression taking over my face as I did. I wish they would just let me in the room.

Rossi’s face was full of pity and through learning to read Hotch’s micro expressions throughout the years I could tell he was trying to express his sympathy, though it felt hollow. The pity and sympathy only served to make the rage inside me more volatile, which I didn’t think was possible. I didn’t care that Hotch had experienced the same pain I was feeling and I didn’t care that Rossi truly had cared about the both of us. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to make me not want to burst through the door of the interrogation room and beat the man to a pulp.

My vision clouded over so I only saw red, I had been consumed by the fire within me. I was like an uncontrollable wildfire now, nothing would stop me. Nothing would stop me from reaching the source of my wrath.

————

My hands were bruised and bloodied, almost like I had punched my fists into glass repeatedly. The blood was seeping through the bandages, someone must have patched me up. But, who? I didn’t even know where I was right now or even how I had gotten these bruises.

Scanning my surroundings I realized I was sitting at the round table in my usual spot, my memory then started coming back to me. I remember JJ pulling me off the unsub after I barged into the interrogation room and had landed a few blows. In my fury of being pulled away from the source of my fire I punched through the mirror in the bathroom I had been dragged into. I remember the wounds on my hands being carefully cleaned by Emily with a softness that I didn’t see often from her. And, I remember being taken home on the jet accompanied by half of the team, the other half had stayed behind to wrap up the case. It scared me that I could barely recall the memories without a haze of fuzziness. I must have been so wrought with fiery emotion and exhaustion that everything around me had started to slip away as unimportant. The team must have brought me in here, they probably wanted to keep an eye on me and knew I wouldn’t want to go back to our apartment. Well, I guess it was just my apartment now. Yeah, the team was right to leave me here. If I even caught a glimpse of their belongings I was sure the rage would take over again.

My eyes immediately shifted over to the chair next to me that would usually be occupied by them. Tears once again filled my eyes, I had cried so much in the past few hours- or was it days? I had cried so much that I wasn’t sure how it was possible. My eyes felt raw, my nose felt raw, my skin felt raw, really my whole being felt raw from the abuse it had seen throughout this whole ordeal. I just wanted this to be over. I just wanted them back.

The fire hadn’t fully gone from me, and I wasn’t sure that it ever would. It flickered inside me, trying to force me into enacting vengeance on the man that had extinguished the person I cared about the most. But, the overwhelming feeling of desperation to see the person who mattered to me most had taken over to partially snuff out the flames into embers. I’d do whatever it takes, I just wanted them back.

—

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz

Spencer Reid/CM:

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss

5 stages of grief:

@joonie-centric @tatesimper @half-blood-dork @mcntsee @illuxions-x @rainsong01 @nomajdetective @loveheathens

[hanbintms]

            it  is  eye  ,  kofi  ,  back  on  your  dash  with  my  newest  child  !  as  a  reminder  :  i’m  twenty4  ,  prefer  she / her  or  they / them  pronouns  ,  and  i  reside  in  the  est  timezone  !  the  muse  that  i  have  flowing  for  hanbin  is  truly  unmatched  even  though  i  literally  came  up  with  him  within  like  . . .  three  hours  ,  no  kidding  .  that  being  said  ,  he’s  a  brand  new  muse  and  i  can’t  wait  to  plot  with  everyone  once  again  (  or  for  the  first  time  !  )  i  won’t  talk  your  ears  off  as  i  know  this  intro  might  get  a  little  long  ,  but  aside  from  that  ,  can’t  wait  to  write  hanbin  with  ya’ll  !

            (  SONG  KANG , THIRTY , CIS  MAN , HE / HIM  )  *  hey  ,  i’m  looking  for  the  office  of  HANBIN  KOO  .  they’re  the  EMPLOYEE  /  IN - HOUSE  CHEF  who’s  known  around  the  office  as  THE  EPICURE  ,  if  that  helps  ?  not  to  be  a  gossip  ,  but  i’ve  heard  that  they’re  AFFABLE  but  UNCOUTH  ,  is  that  true  ?  i  also  heard  that  they’re  the  one  who  THREW  ICED  TEA  AT  HIS  EX  IN  THE  LOBBY  .  anyways  ,  here’s  the  coffee  they  ordered  .

statistics.

            name  :  koo  hanbin  .  nicknames  :  han  ,  hannie  ,  hanbinie  ,  +  binnie  .  age  +  date  of  birth  :  thirty  +  january  9th,  1991  .  zodiac  :  capricorn  .  moral  alignment  :  true  neutral  .  gender  +  pronouns  :  cis  man  +  he / him / his .  place  of  birth  :  busan  ,  south  korea  .  place  of  residence  :  west  village  ,  new  york  city  ,  new  york  .  orientation  :  bisexual  biromantic  .  occupation  :  in  house  chef  and  internet  personality  .  nationality  :  korean  (  holds  american  citizenship  )  .  ethnicity  :  korean  .  language(s)  spoken  :  korean  ,  english  ,  conversational  italian  ,  and  conversational  japanese  .

background.

            koo  hanbin’s  life  was  relatively  normal  when  he  was  born  .  his  mom  ,  koo  seonghwa  ,  worked  as  a  nurse  in  the  pediatric  department  of  a  local  hospital  in  busan  while  his  father  ,  koo  kyuchul  ,  was  an  office  worker  .  they  weren’t  the  richest  family  ,  nowhere  near  it  ,  but  the  koo  family  made  it  work  .  hanbin  has  more  memories  of  being  with  his  grandparents  more  often  than  his  parents  simply  because  of  their  demanding  careers ,  but  that’s  not  to  say  that  they  weren’t  loving  and  attentive  parents  when  they  had  time  to  be  with  their  only  son  .  

             however  ,  life  began  to  change  for  him  when  was  six  years  old  .  suddenly  ,  the  money  began  to  dwindle  as  quickly  as  it  was  brought  in  .  the  refrigerator  wasn’t  full  unless  seonghwa’s  mother  would  make  some  things  for  them  ,  and  kyuchul  was  coming  home  later  and  later  .  seonghwa  began  to  work  harder  in  an  attempt  to  break  even  ,  but  she  never  seemed  to  get  her  head  above  water  .  she’d  confront  her  husband  about  the  large  sums  of  money  that  would  disappear  from  their  account  ,  but  he  always  blamed  it  on  higher  bills  ,  raised  rent  ,  or  sudden  payments  that  he  had  to  make  .  it  never  made  any  sense  ,  but  seonghwa  started  a  separate  account  to  ensure  their  son  could  at  least  have  food  on  the  table  and  clothes  for  school  .

            the  next  couple  of  years  go  by  and  the  money  situation  worsens  ,  with  seonghwa  getting  to  her  wits  end  .  she  spends  more  time  with  hanbin  at  her  parents’  place  ,  sleeping  with  her  son  in  her  old  bedroom  and  hoping  he  doesn’t  hear  her  cry  at  night  .  she  struggles  to  understand  why  her  husband  is  keeping  secrets  from  her  ,  especially  as  they’ve  been  married  happily  for  the  last  eleven  years  ,  but  it  takes  some  tough  love  from  her  mother  to  get  seonghwa  to  pick  herself  up  .  so  ,  she  decides  to  confront  her  husband  one  night  when  she  finds  out  his  location  from  one  of  his  co - workers  ,  and  she’s  devastated  .  seonghwa  finds  kyuchul  with  a  younger  woman  ,  gambling  away  her  hard  earned  money  .  like  a  scene  out  of  a  drama  ,  seonghwa  kicks  her  husband  where  the  sun  doesn’t  shine  and  promptly  dragged  the  other  woman  outside  to  wack  her  upside  the  head  with  her  purse  .  seonghwa  was  hurt  ,  but  she  had  finally  gotten  answers  ,  and  she  wasn’t  going  to  be  embarrassed  like  this  ever  again  .

            so  ,  seonghwa  and  hanbin  permanently  move  in  with  her  parents  ,  and  it  takes  some  time  for  seonghwa  to  get  over  kyuchul  .  she  focuses  on  her  child  and  her  job  .  from  the  age  of  ten  ,  hanbin  began  spending  more  time  with  his  grandparents  in  their  small  ,  but  popular  barbecue  meat  restaurant  .  when  he  finishes  his  homework  ,  he  helps  his  grandparents  take  orders  ,  and  he  slowly  begins  to  work  the  kitchen  as  he  gets  older  .  his  grandparents  soon  leave  the  kitchen  work  to  him  as  they  get  up  in  age  ,  and  hanbin  runs  the  kitchen  as  if  he’d  been  doing  it  for  over  twenty  years  .  however  ,  when  he  graduates  from  high  school  ,  hanbin  decides  to  spread  his  wings  .  over  the  last  twelve  years  or  so  ,  hanbin  honed  his  cooking  skills  from  his  grandfather  and  spent  most  of  his  childhood  in  the  kitchen  ,  so  his  grandparents  passed  their  restaurant  down  to  seonghwa’s  brother  ,  and  hanbin  left  for  new  york  .

            eighteen  years  old  and  with  only  enough  money  to  get  a  small  sublet  ,  he  knew  he  needed  to  find  a  job  pronto  .  without  formal  kitchen  training  ,  hanbin  would  often  get  turned  away  from  jobs  (  because  he  was  better  than  a  busboy  !  )  and  eventually  ,  the  fates  was  on  his  side  .  he  forced  his  way  into  the  kitchen  of  a  popular  italian  restaurant  ,  immediately  snagging  the  title  of  junior  chef  .  hanbin  ,  a  fast  learner  with  even  faster  knife  skills  ,  easily  works  his  way  up  the  ranks  within  the  restaurant  .  within  six  years  ,  hanbin  becomes  head  chef  and  is  a  force  to  be  reckoned  with  in  the  kitchen  .  although  his  income  changes  significantly  ,  hanbin  starts  a  youtube  channel  in  hopes  of  sharing  his  love  for  food  and  cooking  .  within  a  year  ,  his  following  grows  substantially  ,  and  he’s  approached  to  broaden  his  efforts  by  working  at  masters  international  .

at masters.

hanbin  has  been  at  masters  for  five  years  .  he  started  working  here  after  his  youtube  channel  expanded  ,  and  he  was  approached  to  create  his  own  cooking  content  for  masters’  youtube  channel  .  

basically  ,  he  has  his  own  version  of  test  kitchen  ,  but  it’s  not  really  the  same  thing  .  he  makes  recipes  for  holidays  ,  celebrations  ,  and  is  constantly  showing  how  to  make  traditional  korean  dishes  (  would  not  be  surprised  if  he  has  a  ‘  cooking  with  my  mom  !  ’  type  series  )  .

gives  food  tips  too  like  which  wines  pair  best  with  certain  foods  or  how  to  make  the  most  out  of  your  first  hosting  gig  .  probably  has  a  video  where  he  shares  his  cooking  playlist  because  he  wants  you  to  get  in  the  mood  😌  .

probably  came  up  with  the  special  lunch  for  Daddy  Masters™  but  gets  ticked  when  he’s  asked  to  cook  it  because  does  that  man  know  a  schedule  ?  probably  not  .  [  ‘  we  were  on  a  break  !  ’  specifically  ,  hanbin2   was  on  his  lunch  break  .  ] 

is  it  true  that  he  threw  an  iced  tea  in  his  ex’s  face  ?  absolutely  ,  and  he  has  no  problem  admitting  it  lmao  .  who  was  said  ex  ?  i  guess�� we’ll  never  know  [  this  a  number  one  champion  sound  ]  .

probably  well  received  around  the  office  but  i  wouldn’t  be  surprised  if  people  disliked  him  .  it  could  be  his  off  putting  persona  or  honestly  the  simple  fact  that  he’s  got  a  lot  of  sass  and  no  ass  .

headcanons.

you  can  read  a  full  list  of  headcanons  HERE  ;  below  is  an  abridged  version  .

has  a  gyeongsang  dialect  from  living  in  busan  ,  and  honestly  . . .  that’s  hot  .  so  ,  when  he  speaks  in  korean  it’s  rather  strong  and  aggressive  /  pitch  is  vastly  different  from  other  parts  of  korea  .  

i  literally  have  no  idea  how  to  explain  his  personality  other  than  by  using  his  moral  alignment  :  true  neutral  .  he’s  kinda  that  guy  who  knows  everything  but  won’t  tell  you  that  he  does  ?  did  he  eavesdrop  ?  maybe  ,  but  he  won’t  tell  you  that  .  he’s  largely  indifferent  to  a  lot  of  what  happens  around  masters  and  maybe  it’s  because  he’s  been  here  for  half  a  decade  ;  he’ll  just  make  sure  you  drink  water  if  you’re  drunk  and  crying  .

a  Dog  Father™  to  a  little  re:  big  goldendoodle  named  duri  .  he  is  most  definitely  judging  you  and  can  often  be  found  sunbathing  in  that  solarium  .  

a  very  simple  man  when  it  comes  to  his  coffee  :  caffè  americano  or  an  espresso  macchiato  please  .  and  don’t  forget  the  butter  croissant  !

mostly  expressionless  . . .  like  i  really  have  no  idea  how  to  explain  how  he  looks  at  people  because  i  feel  that  stoic  is  too  harsh  of  a  word  .  if  you  wanna  know  how  he  feels  though  ,  he  has  extremely  expressive  eyes  .

he  won’t  admit  it  but  he  loves  hosting  .  office  potluck  ?  he’s  your  guy  .  having  a  conference  ?  he’ll  make  your  snacks  .  if  you’re  coming  over  he’ll  make  a  charcuterie  board  and  will  lie  saying  he  made  it  with  some  stuff  he  had  on  hand  (  but  that’s  a  lie  ,  he  went  to  the  grocery  store  and  obsessed  over  it  for  a  solid  three  hours  )  .

finds  joy  in  the  mundane  .  some  people  might  think  he’s  weird  because  he  loves  grocery  shopping  ,  and  heavily  judges  people’s  carts  because  processed  food  ?  yuck  !  he  won’t  say  that  to  your  face  though  he’ll  just  be  like  ‘  are  you  sure  you  wanna  buy  that  ?  ’  and  will  sneakily  replace  your  frozen  pizza  with  pizza  ingredients  hehe  .

that  being  said  don’t  take  him  grocery  shopping  with  you  NFUDNSFDS  .  he  gets  ticked  about  food  waste  ,  and  those  who  don’t  use  reusable  bags  .   probably  has  a  lil  garden  at  his  place  and  composts  !  is  angry  about  people  calling  a  chunk  of  cauliflower  a  steak  (  in  other  words  ,  don’t  to  it  )  !

wanted connections.

DISCLAIMER  :  i  will  not  be  plotting  anything  romantic  with  characters  under  the  age  of  twenty - five  due  to  his  age  !

ONE  TRUE  LOVE  :  this  is  open  to  literally  anyone  ,  preferably  like  ,  28  to  30  but  we  can  talk  details  .  truly  ,  they’re  his  one  true  love  as  the  title  states  ,  and  i  like  to  believe  that  they  were  a  really  happy  couple  who  had  a  meet - cute  .  they  moved  in  together  and  things  were  great  ,  but  they  broke  up  when  they  felt  a  mutual  dissolve  in  their  relationship  .  that  being  said  ,  they’re  good  friends  now  !

BEST  FRIEND  :  who  wouldn’t  love  a  best  friend  .  basically  ,  they  get  along  well  ,  and  they  are  used  to  sung’s  non - verbal  communication  NVJCNXJV  .  it’d  be  really  fun  if  they  had  totally  different  personalities  but  somehow  they  managed  to  click  .  TAKEN  BY  GRIFFIN  OLSON  .

TASTE  TESTER  :  someone  who  he  calls  on  to  often  try  his  food  at  the  office  .  they  possibly  will  appear  in  his  videos  on  masters’  youtube  channel  ,  so  i  think  a  relationship  based  around  food  would  be  really  fun  !  TAKEN  BY  KENNEDY  CRAWFORD  /  SORAYA  HATHAWAY  .

HORN  DOGS  (  DEROGATORY  )  :  i  have  no  other  name  for  this  plot  but  i’m  thinking  two  people  who  cannot  keep  their  hands  off  of  one  another  .  i’m  talking  sneaky  touches  in  the  elevator  ,  secret  hook  ups  in  the  seventh  floor  bathroom  ,  quick  makeouts  and  nearly  getting  caught  .  bonus  points  if  people  around  the  office  don’t  believe  they’re  Banging™  because  their  personalities  are  so  different  .  

CRUSH  :  also  known  as  ,  someone  having  a  crush  on  him  ,  but  he  sees  them  as  a  friend  (  or  even  worse  ,  like  a  younger  sibling  )  .  TAKEN  BY  AYLIN  SAHIN  .

PLATONIC  SOULMATE  :  best  friends  ,  but  make  it  sentimental  .  they  are  thicker  than  thieves  ,  get  on  each  other’s  nerves  ,  but  they  don’t  know  what  they’d  do  without  the  other  .  finish  each  other’s  sentences  (  and  sandwiches  .  sung  will  finish  it  )  and  are  borderline  like  an  old  married  couple  with  the  way  they  act  .

that’s  all  i  got  now  but  i’ve  reblogged  some  posts  that  can  be  found  HERE  and  i’m  down  to  fill  any  wcs  that  you  may  have  as  well  !

[scarletwinterxx]

Coming Home pt. 2

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here. 

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

 PART ONE || TWO || THREE || FOUR || FIVE || FINALE ||  BONUS

“This place looks nice” Mark said for the third time since we got to Jaehyun’s apartment building

We’re waiting for Jaehyun to answer the door, deciding to drop by early since Mark wanted to see Chae Yoon.

“Hyung can you please hurry up” Mark said through the intercom, the door opening with a Jaehyun wearing a bright red polka-dot apron and a smile

“Why do you look like that?” Mark asked the older one

“I’m cooking breakfast for Chae, hey” he said nodding my way, “She’s up already?” I said as we enter his apartment

Apart from the furniture he needs there weren’t a lot of stuff in his place. The only thing that makes this place look likes it’s Jaehyun’s is the electric keyboard in his living room.

It’s his hobby; he likes to play when he’s not that busy or just to relieve some stress. It was one of the few things he took from our then shared apartment

“Wow hyung, your place looks great”

I chuckled at my younger brother who is happily looking around like a puppy exploring a new place, “He’s been saying that since we rode the elevator” I told Jaehyun making him laugh at the younger one

“It’s okay, you want some pancakes?” he asked us, Mark nodding his head in agreement.

At the same time the baby monitor went off, signalling that Chae woke up

“I’ll go get her” Mark said before neither Jaehyun or I say something

“The door on the left” Jaehyun said with a chuckle, my brother already skipping away

“Is he really in college? He looks like a kid” Jaehyun said from where we has standing, infront of the stove flipping some pancakes

“He’s my baby forever, let him be” I say then sat on the stool by the counter

“You baby proofed the place?” I asked, noticing little details around the room. The electric sockets were covered, sharp corners were covered and no stuff was laying around where Chae Yoon could reach it

“Yea, tried as best as I could. The landlord was planning to give me a bigger place with stairs but I told her I have a baby that just learned how to crawl so it’s a big no no”

“She’s starting to stand up too” I said, making Jaehyun smile a bit

“Don’t remind me, I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad she’s growing up too fast” he answered, setting the cooked pancakes on a plate before putting them infront of me. I took them to the table, while he gathers utensils

“Next thing you know she’s telling us she’s going on a date” I teased him, the smile was replaced with a frown

“She’s not allowed to date until she’s 30” I turned to look at him with a raised brow

“So you’re that kind of parent”

“I mean she can date when she can make a decision for herself and make the right judgements, there that sounds better. But you best believe I will be there on her first date” his statement making me bust out a laugh

“If she’s anything like you then you’d be in trouble”

“I’m not that bad, I’ve dated like one girl. And that was you incase you forget” he said, pointing the spatula at me. I rolled my eyes at him, 

“She’ll be breaking hearts left and right”

“I wasn’t like that! what are you talking about?” I can’t help but laugh at his reaction

“Yea right, I can’t even count how many confession you turned down. Do you even remember all those letters they leave in your locker during valentines day” I stated, recalling the old memories

“All those cards and only one says happy birthday”

It was from me, it was no secret that people leave gifts by Jaehyun’s locker every year during valentines. No one just ever left birthday gifts from him. 

“You’re welcome” it was now his turn to roll his eyes

“At least tell me you’ll choose a seat four spaces away from Chae and her date” I said, enjoying the conversation we were having

“Three, and they’re sitting on opposite sides”

“What are you two laughing about?” Mark asked from behind us, making us turn to him. Our daughter already reaching out for Jaehyun

“We were talking about Chae going to her first date” I said taking a seat on the table while Mark sat beside me and Jaehyun across from us and Chae Yoon on her high chair

“Does hyung know her little crush over Jeno?” Mark asked no one in particular, I looked over at Jaehyun who has a confused look on his face.

“What crush? She’s a baby, she doesn’t know what that even is” Jaehyun defensively said making me chuckle

“He’s talking about how whenever Jeno is around, her eyes just follows him, quite literally too. One time she swatted Mark away from Jeno” I told him as I cut up the pancake into smaller pieces to give to my daughter

“Maybe she finds him cute, that adorably eye smile and all” Mark mumbled, the frown on Jaehyun’s face getting more prominent

“Stop saying that, you’re going to give Jae wrinkles if he keeps on frowning like that” I pointed to the guy sitting across from us

“I was joking! Kind of, I mean she does look at him like he’s the most fascinating thing” Mark said inbetween chuckles

“Okay enough talks of that, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there” Jaehyun mumbled, pushing a pancake in Mark’s direction to shut him up.

After hanging out at Jaehyun’s place for a couple more hours, Mark needed to go back to university. His friends on their way to pick him up, they all decided to go home for the weekend and carpool together since they’re roommates anyways.

“Nice place hyung, definitely will hang out when I get back” Mark said as Jaehyun walk us out. Chae Yoon in her stroller hugging the bear given by her dad when she was born

“Sure, give me a call when you visit. You already know, call me when you need anything” he said directing the second half of his statement to me.

“Will do, come on you still need to pack” I told Mark, saying my goodbye to Jaehyun.

This has been the set up we’ve been doing for the past five months, Chae Yoon spends the weekends with him when he doesn’t have any work to do. He either drive over to pick her up or I go over to take her.

It’s been a good system for us. If we’re being honest, we did it for the both of us.

It was hard trying to make something work when we both knew we were already on the edge. Jaehyun wasn’t the type to give up, but his actions told me otherwise. That’s how I knew we had to call it off.

I can’t be the selfish one and ask him to stay when he didn’t want to. I knew it was nothing against being a father to Chae Yoon but entirely about being my fiancé. So I made the decision to break it off. It did break my heart, I still have a hard time reminding myself the once promised future of us being together is not there anymore.

But my daughter comes first, above anything. I didn’t have a doubt that he’s trying to be the best father to our daughter, and he is. There is no one in this world that loves her the way Jaehyun does.

The moment she was born in this world he was a goner. The way he cried and said a silent thank you to me when they laid tiny Chae Yoon in his arms, I knew she would have someone to love her for the rest of her life.

I also realized I love Jaehyun too much to tie him down like that, it was always a push and pull with him. Back in our high school years, he was the popular but down to Earth kid. He knew people talked about him, he also knew almost no one was immune to his charms. I took pride in the way his eyes light up when he see me in the crowd or the way he always shoots a salute my way before his game starts or the way he can’t let go of me after a very long tiring day because he needed cuddles or the way he whispered I love you in my ear in the middle of a party just because he felt like saying it.

I’ve seen Jaehyun in lights that no one ever has, I was with him through the ups and downs. I always tried to catch up with him, I just realized now that I probably never will. I also realized how I never ask why he once never asked me if I was keeping up or was I okay with the steps he was hurriedly taking.

I’m not mad.

Deep in my mind I’ve always known I loved him more that he loved me.  

After what felt like the longest weekend ever, I was back at the office. Buried in piles of paper work that needed approval and signatures.

“Hey Y/N, the digital artist from Japan is here. You have a meeting with him?” my co-worker, Wendy said. I looked up from the drafts I was currently reading

 “Oh he’s here? I thought the design department said they will have an on-boarding meeting with him first?”

“They said they’ll do it after you” she shrugged then passed me the folder

“Okay, I’ll be there give me a minute”

I stood up from my chair and made my way to the meeting room Wendy told me where the new hire was waiting, “Hi, sorry for the wait. I wasn’t expecting you” I told him when I enter the room.

He immediately stood up shaking his head, “It’s fine, I wasn’t waiting long”

“Right well take a seat, the head of our design department recommend you himself so he must trust your work. We’re glad you could make it here”

“Yes, well I actually live here I just visited my hometown for a while. I’m Nakamoto Yuta by the way” he said then extended his hand out which I gladly shook

“Lee Y/N, Taeyong has told me a lot about your work. We’re very happy to have you in our team”

After the meeting, I was back in my desk tied down to a bunch of paperwork.

I do love my job, I have enough time to focus on my daughter and also grow my career. I was lucky to be given this chance and I wasn’t going to let it pass.

After a long a couple of weeks of the same routine: go to work, go home to Chae, take Chae to her dad.

One weekend Jaehyun called that he was on his way up to the apartment, taking Chae back to me after his weekend with her.

“Hey Y/N” He greeted me with a smile when I opened the door,

“Hi”

“and hello to you beautiful girl, how was your weekend?” I said to the excited little lady who was reaching out for me

“She was trying to walk all over the place. I bolted every furniture I had in my apartment just to be safe” Jaehyun answered as he put her stuff in the living room with me following behind him

“Oh right I still need to do that”

“Do you need help? I can come over some time next next week maybe”

“Next next week?” I asked

“I have a business trip to Japan this Friday until Tuesday next week. Too bad I can’t be with her next weekend” he explained, I nodded along completely understanding his work schedule

“By the way is my box of documents still here, I’ve been meaning to get it” he asked, “It’s probably in the office, I haven’t really touched anything there so things are the way you left it” just as I say it an emotion crossed his face, it went quickly as it came. I almost wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t looking at him

“Thanks, can I?” he asked gesturing to the office at the end of the hall “you lived here too, go” I chuckled. He shot me a quick smile before walking in the direction of his old home office.

I was playing with Chae Yoon when I hear Jaehyun call out my name

“What is it? You didn’t find it?” I asked him when he walked back to the living room

“I did, I was just going to say we have this company party tomorrow. I know it’s very short notice and it’s a Monday but if it’s okay with you, will you come with me?” he asked, eyes staring straight into mine

“Me?” I asked back, I sounded stupid I know but I was just confused why he wanted me to come with him

“Yes, you” he said with a small smile on, a dimple showing slightly. I almost agreed then and there.

“Why?” I asked sceptically

“Well who else would I ask? I mean you don’t have to come if you don’t want to, I absolutely understand. And I know you can’t leave Chae-“

“I’ll come”

Even I was surprised by my answer, he looked like he was too.

“Okay, that’s great. I’ll come pick you up at six?”

“Sure”

We both didn’t know where the conversation was going, but suddenly Jaehyun looked behind me. I thought something bad happened but when I turned Chae Yoon was standing up by herself, about to take her very first steps

“Oh my god, Jae” I whispered, careful not to scare her

“That’s it baby girl, want to walk here?” Jaehyun calmly told our daughter, kneeling beside me so he could look at her eye to eye

A determined look was etched on Chae Yoon’s face, she put up one foot infront of the other. Still a bit wobbly

“Careful there” I mumbled, feeling a bit anxious. Jaehyun must have sensed it because he shot me an assuring smile before looking at our daughter again

“She’s fine, she can do it. Right, baby?” she squealed then suddenly took many steps straight to where Jaehyun was. She stumbled a bit but Jae had his arms waiting for her ready to catch her if she falls.

The little laughter’s she was letting out was worth everything.  

“You did it!” I told her, giving her cheek a little squish. The proudest look on my face, I didn’t notice Jaehyun was just staring at me

When our eyes met, a small smile was on his lips

“Thank you” he whispered.

I didn’t need an explanation, I already knew what he was saying thank you for.

It was for this little girl who had become the center of both our universe the moment we knew of her existence. The late night drives to the convenient stores when I was craving something, the early morning sickness and terrible nausea, the sudden outburst of tears I had because of hormones, the back pains, the tears, all of that was worth it.

We had a silent agreement, even after all of the things we went through we would gladly do it again if it means we’ll end up in this moment right here.

Chae Yoon was, is and forever will be worth all of it. 

 “Oooh how about this dress?” Wendy asked while holding out a yellow flowy dress

“It’s a company dinner, not a picnic. Cute dress though” I said then continued to browse through my closet

“I know, can I borrow this?” chuckling at her question I looked around the row of clothes in front of me

“Maybe I should just cancel, I don’t have anything to wear”

“You’re standing in the middle of your walk-in closet, what are you talking about?”

Okay maybe I was just looking for an excuse not to come. After thinking about it all night, it just dawned on me now that this will be the first event Jae and I will be attending since we broke up.

I tried so hard to get some sleep but my mind wouldn’t shut up.

Also Chae Yoon decided to wake up at 5am, I didn’t have the time to put her back to sleep before I needed to go to the office.

And now I’m here, I asked Wendy for some help to pick out my clothes and look after Chae Yoon while I get ready

“Chae Yoon-ah, look at your mommy getting all nervous about her date with your dad” she told the baby playing with her blocks on the carpeted floor

“It’s not a date”

“He asked you to be his date, Y/N” she deadpanned, I was trying to think of an excuse but she had be backed up on a corner with her statement

“Not to sound rude, but why did he ask you?”

“I asked him the same thing” I mumbled, picking out a long fitted dress with straps and a slit on the leg

“How about this one?” I asked holding out the dress to show her

“Yes that one, perfect. So back to my question”

I sighed, putting the dress on the lounge chair, picking out shoes to match with the dress

“He didn’t say why, he just said why not”

“That’s a lame answer” she muttered, making faces at Chae Yoon. The little one giggled, holding her hands to her face.

“It’s just a friendly invitation, he didn’t have anyone to ask that’s probably why”

“Are you two sure you’re done?”

Her question made me stop on my spot, for a moment I wasn’t sure.

“Of course. We’ve talked about it. He moved out”

“That’s not what I mean though, yes he moved out and yes you literally called the engagement off so why are you two acting like this?”

“Like what?”

“Are you serious? Like you two are still together, Y/N. The getting him dinner, driving you home, asking you to be his date”

“He’s Chae’s father. I can’t just completely erase him from my life, whether we mean it or not we’ll always be in each other’s life so we could be there for her”

“I know that, and you two are doing such a great job at being her parents. But it’s not your job to care for him anymore”

“I can’t just stop caring about him”

“You can’t but you don’t have to give so much to him when you don’t have to anymore. I love you I really do, but don’t you think it’s about time to live a life that didn’t revolve around him?”

I knew she had a point, what was the use of being broken up when we still do things like this. In my mind I keep repeating that I’m doing this as a friend.

But I don’t really know how to be just his friend.

“I don’t mean to pry in your business, I just want you to be happy and guard your heart”

I shot her a grateful smile, fully understanding that she meant well.

Her words where ringing in my head for the rest of the night, even after Wendy bid goodbye after helping me get ready.

I was just reading a book to Chae when the door bell rang, “Looks like you have a visitor, little lady” I mumbled, putting her down. She immediately stood up and tried to walk to the door on her own. Of course I was close behind her, ready to catch her just in case. 

I opened the door, I swear I doesn’t matter how long I’ve known Jaehyun because he can still steal my breath away. 

He looked good, wearing an all black suit with a white dress shirt. His hair did differently from its everyday style. And of course his most attractive accessory couldn’t be forgotten, his smile. 

“Hey” he said when I opened the door, he looked down at the baby who is now holding onto his leg

“Hey you, are causing trouble running around like that?” he playfully asked Chae then took her in his arms peppering kisses all over her face.

“I think I have to put cushions all over the house at this point, come in” I told him, holding the door open for him

“I have a few more of those covers you can put on corners of table and stuff like that, I’ll bring it over when I get back”

“Thanks, I’ll just get her bag so we can leave” I was leaving her to my neighbor while we go to the party. I packed an over night bag just in case I stay out too late, and in case of any emergency

We walked over the apartment across from mine, waiting for Unnie to open the door

“Is that Chae Yoonie?” she called out from the other side of the door before opening it

“Hi- Oh hi Jaehyun, I haven’t seen you in a while” she said when she saw it was Jaehyun holding Chae Yoon

“Nice to see you too, Noona. You sure you can handle her, she can walk now” he jokingly said

“I heard! I’m so excited to see her run around, and you already know I love having her around. Don’t worry about it, go enjoy your night” She said with a smile on

“Here, all of her stuff is in there. Can’t forget about her favorite bear” I said while handing over her the bag and Chae’s favorite stuffed toy

“You’ll be good for Unnie, right Chae? I’ll see you later” I told my daughter giving her a quick kiss. Jaehyun did the same before passing her to Unnie. 

“You two have fun, okay? Bye” we bid goodbye then made our way to the elevator

We didn’t say much, a comfortable silence while we make our way to his car. 

“Thanks by the way, for coming tonight” he said when we started to exit the parking area and out into the streets

“No problem” I answered,a small smile on my face. 

“You look great, by the way” I just chuckled at his statement, already seeing the redness starting to show on his ears. One thing he can never hide. 

“Thank you, I see you decided to go with the bangs up hairstyle”

“The what?”

“You know, that hairstyle. The I’m the boss here kind of hairstyle” I said pointing at his styled hair, he was just smiling at me. probably finding my statement weird, 

“Oh yea? Do I look cute?” he asked making me roll my eyes

“You’re a dork” i muttered, making him laugh out loud

“I’ll take that as a yes” he said then we were back to the comfortable silence. 

In that moment I realized just what Wendy meant when she asked me are we really done being together

This night so far is not helping me clarify the blurred questions I’ve been thinking about. 

I just knew I was in it for a long night. 

[kayuripax]

“”Coffee Shop AU”: Cursed mask

Another story for @doodledrawsthings​‘ “””Coffee Shop AU”, this time for the off-shoot branch where MJ ends up Majora Masked. This did not leave me alone, and I needed to write this out. The story includes one picture, and mentions mak’s Subconite Cherry, my Subconite Maya, and @greentrickster​‘s Subconite Lime.

„Can’t wait for next Friday.” MJ raised an eyebrow at the exclamation of the small group of teenagers in front of him.

“Next Friday?”

“Yeah, Mr. MJ. Its Halloween then, and we,” one of the teens gestured around, “want to make a group costume. Lime and I have been sewing for weeks now, and it’s coming along well.” A blinding grin from all the teens followed that statement.

“Halloween already? Time sure flies.” MJ grinned back. “Can I ask what you want to dress up as?”

“That’s a secret until next week. You gotta wait just like everyone else!” Cherry chuckled, before grabbing their drink from the counter, leaving a bit of money, and running outside.

“Can’t wait then!” MJ called after them while handing out the remaining drinks. A moment later, when all the teens had left the shop, he began to grin to himself. Maybe he could convince Luka to actually go out on that day, without him having to pay much attention to his looks. He had to tell Clover first though, she had to help him convince that noodle-man.

---------------------------------------___________________________________--------------------------------------

“You… want me to go out on Halloween.” Luka sounded like he was doubting MJ’s intelligence at that moment.

“I mean, yeah, why not? Halloween is literally the one day in the year where no one would really pay attention to you looking a bit weird. As long as you stay in a shape that could convincingly be a costume, you could basically run around as you are.” The answer came promptly, and with a raised eyebrow.

“Glowing eyes are not inconspicuous, MJ. Neither is me floating.” Luka grouched, coiling up a bit more in his room.

“There are more than enough costumes with glowing parts, man.” Clover piped up from her corner, where Hattie was showing her something, presumably a costume she had been preparing for Halloween. “MJ’s not wrong, Halloween is the one day where no one would care what you look like. If it makes you feel better, we could all dress up in a group thing, like your Cult.”

“They are not my Cult, Clover, they’re a group of teens that meets up in the forest.” Luka whined, hiding his face in embarrassment. The golden glow was still very much noticeable.

“Try to convince yourself of that, why don’t you.” She countered with a smirk. “But really, I think we could manage something for that, a group costume thingy. Get Hattie and Bonnie in on it as well, they wouldn’t mind.”

“I really wouldn’t, Dad! Pleeeaaase?” Hattie piped in just then, puppy eyes on full force.

“See, even your daughter wants you to go out.” MJ grinned. For a moment it was silent, then Luka groaned loudly, the sound echoing, before nodding.

“Fiiiine. You three are horrible people, but I see what I can do.” He said without much heat behind his words, and a tiny smile on his face.

“See, was that so hard?”

“Shut up, Moon Moon.”

---------------------------------------___________________________________--------------------------------------

In the end they decided on a theme that Hattie eagerly called “Spooky Subcon”. She suggested that Luka could just go slightly more humanoid than his usual Noodle-shape, but still very much like his Snatcher-form. Luka groaned at that name, not for the first time wondering why on earth he had to become the local Mothman equivalent. Clover was next, and had decided to go for something vaguely like a haunted statue, citing that while she wasn’t naturally spooky, she could very much dial it up on the Weeping Angel vibe from Dr. Who. Hattie was very much on board with that idea, before declaring that she and Bonnie would dress up as adventurers who deal with all the “Spooks” of Subcon Forest. That made all the adults chuckle a bit. When everyone turned to MJ though, he scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I’m not sure what I’d go as yet. Not really. I haven’t worn a costume since… well, ever since that one disastrous office party shortly after the shop opened.”

“Oh? You gotta tell me more about that.” Luka grinned widely, the glowing, fanged grin on his face almost cartoonish.

“I’d rather not, but knowing you you won’t stop prying anyways…” He coughed before continuing, face red. “I don’t even know why anymore, but the boss wanted everyone to come in costumes, and I went with the first thing I found on the attic, which was a Prince-costume. It, uh… didn’t survive the night that well. It’s very much ragged now.”

“You can use that, MJ!” Hattie exclaimed. “You could go as a prince-ghost!”

“A… Prince-ghost.” A raised eyebrow.

“Yeah! Maybe you can become more spooky by wearing a mask, and maybe wearing something alongside that outfit! Bracelets or something like that.” MJ thought over that for a moment.

“I guess I could do something like that. I have this old mask on the attic, I found it when… getting new supplies for my charms.”

“You mean when you stole bones.”

“Shut it, Clover. Anyways, it’s been lying on the attic for a while, and it looks pretty weird, so it would work for this, I think.” He rubbed his chin. “I mean, not much that could go wrong there. Worst thing that can happen is, that the costume is eaten by moths.”

---------------------------------------___________________________________--------------------------------------

Turns out, there was a lot that could go wrong with the costume MJ had “planned”. Finding the components was not the problem. That appeared later. When he did find the mask though, a shudder ran down his back.

“I forgot how creepy that thing looks…” He muttered, wiping some dust from it. Slightly chipped, light blue paint was revealed, alongside some red stripes and fangs made from actual bones. MJ had enough experience with that to recognize it in a heartbeat. “I really wonder how old it is… A few years at least.” He turned the mask around while mumbling, noticing that the leather strip for holding it in place was still very much intact. “Well, at least I won’t have to replace that.” He got up with a slight groan, back cracking, before grabbing all the clothes and turning to the door. As he went downstairs, he missed the glint of the mask’s eyes.

No twenty minutes later he stood in front of his mirror, tugging at the ragged sleeves of the jacket in slight disdain. “That fit better last time…” He huffed, then shook his head and grabbed the mask lying on the cupboard next to the mirror. “Alright, here goes nothing. Let’s hope I can actually see out of it…” He held the mask up, before pulling the leather strip over his head. The moment the mask touched his face, another shudder ran through him. MJ coughed, then gasped. His head ached, his vision swam, and he felt his knees give. His hands clung to the cupboard, his nails dug into the wood, making grooves in it. He tried to breathe in, but he couldn’t, something was blocking the air from actually reaching his lungs. He coughed, scratched at the mask, only to scream when he could feel it, the sounds horribly disjointed and piercing. He fell to his knees, hands scrabbling at the sides of the mask, only to grasp at nothing. More pain shot through his head, then through his whole body. He managed to look into the mirror at some point, only to rear back in panic. He did not wear a mask, not anymore. Chains and manacles were wrapped around his wrists, wrists that were way too thin and gaunt, and most of all blue. He screamed in fright, the strange and yet horrifyingly similar visage in the mirror contorting itself. He scooted backwards, then watched in horror how his legs began to disappear. He could still feel them, and he was thankful for it, but they were wholly invisible, trousers, shoes and all included. When he tried to grasp at them, his hands managed to go through them, and another unearthly wail freed itself from his throat. This was not how he wanted his Halloween to go, not at all. MJ looked around, then tried to get up, out of the house. He needed to find Luka; he knew how to deal with sudden shapeshifting! Luka should know how to help him, right?

---------------------------------------___________________________________--------------------------------------

Frantic knocking on the door followed by frantic yelling was not something Luka had expected this early on the Halloween evening, and for a moment he was entertained to coil up until whoever yelled went away. At least he was, until he heard the actual contents of the yelling, and identified the voice as MJ’s.

“LUKA THATCHER PRINCETON; OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!” Almost on instinct, ingrained from his mother yelling the exact same words, Luka’s mane bristled in shock, and he hurried to the door.

“Coming, MJ!” the moment the door opened, Luka was bowled over by a blue and red blur, and the door was shut noisily.

“Luka, you need to help me! That mask, it.. it.. it did something to me!” MJ sounded close to crying, and it took Luka a moment to answer while he took in the sight of his colleague.

“Holy… MJ? That you?” Luka took in the sight of the quivering mess of a person in front of him. It reminded him vaguely of his friend and co-worker, but at the same time it was very much different, and more in line with, as disturbing as it sounded, a person that had frozen to death at some point.

“Of course that’s me! It’s that damn masks fault! I found it on the attic and tried on that costume I thought of for tonight, and then, I don’t know how, this happened!” MJ threw his arms out, the chains on them rattling noisily. Luka’s eyes widened at that, his fur bristling in shock.

“The Mask? MJ, you have no legs! How on earth… Wait, how did you even get here without anyone seeing you? And are you alright? Except the, you know, obvious?” MJ’s breath hitched at that, and he shivered.

“I have no idea… I can still feel my legs, for your information, but they’re… invisible and intangible, it seems…” He awkwardly rubbed his arms. “As for not being seen… I… kind of have a talent for that? You don’t want to be seen when carrying bones for crafting.” A facepalm from Luka followed that statement.

“Well, I guess that skill did come in handy…” He sighed, then grasped MJ’s shoulder before leading him into the living room. “Sit down for a moment, I’m getting you something to drink. I know how you’re feeling right now. I’m gonna send Hattie to get Clover, I think she should know about this.”

“Good idea…” MJ shook his head slightly. “This… is messed up. I shouldn’t t have picked up that damn mask…”

“Hindsight is 20/20. I shouldn’t have drunk whatever Vanessa ordered, but we can’t change it now. Only work from here, MJ. HATTIE! Come here for a moment.” Not a moment later, the sound of small feet hitting the ground became audible, and Hattie skid to a halt in front of them both.

“MJ?” She tilted her head at the sight of him. He gave a small wave in return. Hattie blinked for a while before looking at her father. “Dad, do I need to get Clover?”

“Please do that, Kiddo. I think we need all hands on deck here.”

“Alright, I’m back in five.” She called, before running out of the door. For a moment, silence fell, then Luka curled up somewhat next to MJ.

“So… want to talk about it?”

“’s not like I have a big choice here, it’s that or silence…” MJ groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “Does… does it always hurt like that when you change?” His voice was quiet, almost as if he was afraid to ask.

“Only the first time. Never after that. Something I’m rather glad about. Once is enough.” Luka answered truthfully.

“That’s good. I wouldn’t want you to… well, feel pain all the time when you change.” MJ awkwardly rubbed his horn, then asked another question. “Do you think this can be reversed?”

“We can certainly try. Masks are made to be put on and taken off after all, there should be a way to do it.” Luka put one hand on MJ’s shoulder. “Try not to dwell on it for long, we will get this, you hear?” A small smile graced MJ’s face at that, and he nodded. “Good.”

---------------------------------------___________________________________--------------------------------------

“So… That happened.” Clover said after a moment of silence after MJ told them what had happened after he put the mask on. “MJ, please do us a favor and burn the Cursed Mask the moment we get that thing off you.” Her tone left no room for arguments, and that she looked very much like a person halfway turned into stone thanks to the magic of make-up helped with that.

“Believe me, that’s first on the list of things I’ll do after this is over.” MJ replied dryly, picking at the manacles around his wrists.

“Does this mean we can’t go out today?” Hattie piped up quietly, wringing the cape of her costume in her hands.

“Oh Kiddo…” Luka started, then looked at the other two adults. “I…”

“As long as someone here can lend me a set of pants or something I can use to conceal the fact that my legs are pretty much invisible and intangible, I can deal. I got the breakdown out of my system earlier.” MJ added, smiling at Hattie. “After all, we promised it to you and Bonnie, didn’t we? Who knows, maybe she has an idea how to get that mask off.” That made Hattie cheer, and she quickly ran into her room, coming back with some yellow cloth that was roughly the same colour as the undershirt MJ still wore.

“We can make that longer, then it looks as if you wear a robe!”

“Not a bad idea, Hattie. We could do that pretty quickly, I think.” Luka hummed.

“Let me do that. No offense Hattie, but you don’t sew as cleanly as I can, and you currently have four fingers in total, Luka.” Clover said, before grabbing MJ and the cloth. “Get me needle and thread, and this is over in ten minutes tops,” she declared.

---------------------------------------___________________________________--------------------------------------

The evening was spent in a thankfully rather relaxed manner. Luka ended up making himself look only vaguely humanoid, the robe-solution for MJ’s leg problem worked, and pretty much everyone liked their “costumes”. Bonnie was a bit shocked when she was told what happened to MJ, but offered the possibility that the mask could be taken off after the night was over. After a moment of thinking, it was accepted as a possible solution, after which the demand for candy became loud enough that the group began moving. They ended up encountering the “Snult” along the way, all of them dressed up in the same costume, their heights being the only way to discern who was who.

“So, what are you supposed to be?” MJ asked after a moment of looking the costumes over. Lime and Maya had done pretty good work with the costumes, in his opinion.

“We’re the Subconites! The Loyal Minions of the Snatcher!” came the almost cacophonous reply of over 20 teenagers at once, and Luka looked a bit bewildered, touched, and embarrassed all at once. “That’s a cool costume by the way, Mr. MJ.” Cherry said after a moment, giving the man a thumbs up.

“Oh, thank you.” MJ laughed a bit awkwardly.

“You look like a cryptid. You need a cryptid name now.” One of the subconites said. “MOONJUMPER!” another yelled promptly.

“Moonjumper? Why Moonjumper?”

“Well, because MJ.” Came the prompt reply, said in a tone that suggested a lack of belief in MJ’s intelligence.

“I… guess I can’t say anything against that.”

---------------------------------------___________________________________--------------------------------------

The night ended with little fanfare, but a lot of candy. People thought the group costume with the two kids was adorable, and the candy given as pseudo-payment was plenty for it. Bonnie was allowed to sleep over at Hattie’s and Luka’s house that night, and after not even a moment of hesitation MJ and Clover followed suit and slept over as well. Once they all piled up in a rather comfortable cuddle pile, it did not take long for them all to fall asleep. Luka was an excellent and rather warm and comfy snake-ghost-thing, a fact he was not unaware of. It was at about 6 in the morning when MJ woke up again though, his entire body itching and shuddering. He blinked a few times after opening his eyes, noticing that his sight really did not get better, and automatically groped for his glasses, only to notice that he didn’t have them with him. Then the events from yesterday caught up, and his hands flew to his face. He could’ve cried in relief when his hands found the edge of the mask, and he almost tore it from his face.

“You gave me a lot of trouble.” He hissed at it, the almost leering grin and decorated eyes on the wood staring back without an answer. “Can’t wait to throw you into the fire.” He huffed, chucking it into a corner before curling up again. It was too damn early for this, and it was not as if the mask could run away. By closing his eyes, he missed the mask’s eyes gleaming once more, the grin seemingly growing wider, before freezing once more, becoming nothing more than old wood and bone. Hours later, it was thrown into a bonfire, and the ashes scattered into the winds. Nothing remained, no wood, no leather, no teeth made of bone. Only ashes on the wind, never to be seen again. The Mask was gone for good.

[trials-by-blood]

Umm...I always see Yautja being paired up with someone strong and skilled and stuff. I was wondering if you could write something with any Yautja being with someone who is shy, meek, and a little chubby. And when they're alone or think they are they sing along to music and dance even though they can't.XD Sorry if I'm asking too much or anything...

Fegris, the dump world where the unwanted are left to rot and crumble.

  This was once a world where the yautja would crash their obsolete vessels so that they could not fall into use by the other space faring races. Ships were not the only things they left behind. Exiles, heretics, or anyone who upset the balance of their society were also left to wither, but not all did.

  In the following ages, other peoples would use Fegris as a place to forget their burdens. The Faceless Ones unloaded their collected specimens here when science deemed that their time of usefulness had ended.

  Now generations of humans, yautja, clade, mind eaters and all manner of invasive species build their cities here, clinging to half remembered mockeries of their mother cultures. Here, all Forgotten busy themselves mining ore, seeking pleasurable escape, stripping precious metals from ancient wrecks, gambling, farming, extorting, building, destroying, breeding, killing.

  One of the few honest livings to be made anywhere, the food service industry, prospers here. Organic people must eat, so this work will never die.

  Heather, an old name from an old world no one can recall, worked for her room and board at what would best resemble a mall food court. It wasn't a particularly hazardous occupation, so long as you don't taste-test the food or stay long after the coalition of retail outlets close.

(OOC: Okay this ran WAY longer than I anticipated and I had to make the choice to cap it off at 2,500ish words. I’m sorry if this TOTALLY misses the vibe you were hoping for, I kinda got carried away. Oops)

  Once, she'd made that mistake. Even her cold hearted rock-sucker of a boss told her not to bother finishing the cleaning if it meant staying after hours, but she hadn't listened. Heather hadn't wanted to leave her work half done and risk losing her job and newly acquired living space on her first day. So she'd stayed to wipe down the counters and load the trolly cart with the leftovers for the cooler. The reward for a job well finished was stepping out into the market spaces abandoned by customers and workers but repopulated by the local Yautja Bad-bloods and their rivals, The Cranium Skaggers. They were working through a territorial dispute.

  The Skaggers were human, but barely. They injected enhancement serums, most barely tested, directly into their brain tissues via an implanted port installed at the top of their shaved heads.

  Heather had stepped out of her safe enclosed little work area into a street brawl, and was pinned between the doors she'd only just locked and the carnal violence of the city. One of the yautja, who's vision was... not like hers, must have mistaken her bright heat signature and rapid heart rhythm for a Cranium Skagger.

  Oh, she tried to run when she saw him move on her with his unhuman, talon tipped hand outstretched to seize her. Heather had dropped her bag, the keys, the silly hat which matched with her uniform, and she ran but he was fast, so horridly fast for something so big, heavy, and grieved with bulky armor.

  It only took him three strides, thud thud thud, to reach her and tangle his terrible claws into the back of her long tunic. She was thrown, landing hard, disoriented and crying out as deep, raw pain shot up her left hip and into her pelvis. Something was broken.

  She saw him, her attacker, and the blades attached to his dominant arm glistening with the blood of Cranium Skagger's, but she didn't even think to cover her face. All she could do was scream for help.

  Her plea was answered. A great clawed fist smashed across the Yautja's mask with such force that his yowling face was revealed as his helm was torn from him. Next, skulls collided with a clapping of flesh so sharp, Heather thought someone had cracked a whip above her.

  One Yautja had begun to fight another. That was when she did the sensible thing, curling her arms over her head and making herself as small as she could.

  She survived that night. That battle resolved itself as she lied on the ground trembling and weeping in terror, but her savior stuck around after all the others had left. He put her things next to her, and waited until her boss came to collect her and get her help. The yautja must have gone through her communicator for her contacts.

  The fractured hip was easily and painlessly repaired but the procedure had completely drained her savings. To her shock and mild horror, someone had wired to her account credits in the exact amount to replace what she'd spent at the Urgent Intervention Facility to fix her leg.

  When she returned to work, who was there at the food court? The yautja who'd stayed that night. He stood out like a broken finger, the cleaned hand bones and torn out skull ports of Skaggers littered about what he wore like grim badges of honor. The sight of him watching her enter her workplace sent a chill up Heather's spine.

  This kept up for weeks, until The Indecent was months behind her. She'd go to work, and he'd be there, just watching. Heather's co-workers weren't fans of her admirer. Yagon, the young clade boy who took the morning shift before her was the least fond of the yautja lingering around.

  Today, as Heather stepped past her bad-blood observer who had decided to lean against the wall next to the employee entrance, Yagon was peeking out from the door to keep a watchful eye on her as she came in for her shift.

  Yagon chittered irritably, antennae vibrating as he took off his smock and hat so he could scratch his double claws at the translator hanging on a lanyard around his the joining of his head and thorax.

  The voice emanating from the little box was monotone and purposefully slow so that it could be heard clearly as he continued chirping and tweeting.

  "You know what that creep does all day waiting for you to come in? He listens to recordings of you singing on your shifts."

  Heather cringed. That was creepy. She'd had a feeling that he'd been able to hear her sing to herself from where he usually hung around, but she never thought he'd record her. It felt incredibly invasive. She briefly imagined confronting him about it, but thought better of it. He could crush her skull between his hands as if it were a brittle little Skitterling egg. She hunched her shoulders and hugged herself a bit.

  Yagon then turned and dropped the claws of his primary arms on her shoulders.

  "I can file an anonymous report for you. Please? I don't want to come in to work one day and find out something happened to you."

  Heather sighed, trying not to vividly imagine how an exiled yautja might retaliate to that.

  "N- no, I think that would just make things worse, Yagon," Heather tried not to whimper.

  Yagon finished folding his smock and hat into his bag and left, but not before offering twice more to file that report.

  A few hours passed and Heather caught herself singing a handful of times as she fell into her work routine but always stopped when she remembered who was listening. It felt awful, being observed so closely and denied the personal freedom do anything without fear of having it recorded for some stranger's entertainment.

  Again, she thought about confronting the yautja watcher, but couldn't help the violent catastrophes imagined with the idea.

  She felt like she couldn't make a noise or do a thing for herself to make this crappy job the least bit bearable without putting on some bizarre show for Captain Cranium Crusher out there! Heather's frustration built and built until she couldn't take it anymore.

  The walk-in cooler. It was sound proof, right? The moment she finished the lunch-rush line of customers holding out their trays for their greasy food, Heather tore off her gloves, tossed them in the general direction of the trash chute and turned on her heel to stomp her way to that cooler door.

  Heather glanced over the counter to confirm the Skull Collecting Jerk was still out there haunting the seating area. There he was, arms crossed against his chiseled chest, ass planted on a chair that could barely hold his weight with his big ugly sandled feet propped up on one of the tables. Bastard.

  She pulled open the thick insulated door and slammed it behind her. First she simply bellowed angrily, stomped her foot, slapped a bag of single serve condiments as hard as she could manage, doing anything to break the severe edge from her frustration.

  "UGH! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" She tore off her work smock and threw her hat on the floor to stomp on it, "I'M JUST A SHORT, ROUND, NOBODY WHO SHOVELS SLOP ONTO PLATES SIX HOURS A DAY. I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN IN A REAL FIGHT! I'M NOTHING! WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME? WHAT THE FUCK COULD BE SO INTERESTING ABOUT ME?! STOP WATCHING ME, YOU ASSHOLE!"

  Then, spitefully, she sang her favorite song, watching the misty puffs of her breath dissipate as her heart pounded.

  Now, she felt cold and her throat hurt from belting out her very favorite lyrics so harshly. It wasn't fair, she shouldn't have to be reminded of that night every afternoon on her shift. It sucked, and somehow she felt guilty for being angry even though none of this was her fault and she knew she had every right to be angry. So Heather curled up and cried in the cooler for a half-hour at the helplessness she felt. It felt gross, and she knew by now there had to be a never-ending line of pissed off customers outside. She was afraid of confrontation and couldn't ever imagine herself actually standing up to anyone. She could already tell that she'd be crying in her apartment after work too. Whob wouldn't after the verbal abuse she'd no doubt suffer at the service counter from customers tired of waiting.

  Miserably, Heather stood and steeled her resolve to go back out there. With a deep, shaky breath, put her smock back on and fixed her hat.

  "I'll get through it because I'm good at getting through it," she told herself to make it easier to reach for that door.

  Chur-clunk. Chur-clunk. It was jammed. Oh no the cooler door was stuck. Heather put her weight into her next push, then her entire being into the push after that.

  "Oh GODS I'm going to freeze to death!" she wailed, pushing at the door again with everything she had.

  Frustration, anger, helplessness, now panic. She didn't want to die alone of hypothermia at work.

  There was a bang and a great dent had appeared in the thick door. Before she could figure what was happening, the door was torn completely from the reinforced hinges. Heather shrieked and fell squarely on her bottom.

  There he was again, who else would it be coming to her rescue and staring coldly down at her through the dead lenses of that helmet.

  In one swift motion he lifted his left arm and clicked away at the keys of his gauntlet computer with those claws. The hologram display showed Heather a collection of files marked with icons she recognized. They were just cropped, slightly fuzzy pictures of her name tag for work. With a few more taps of his claw, all of the icons dissolved. He deleted them. He'd deleted all of his recordings which pertained to her.

  "Oh, shit, you heard all of that," Heather whimpered, clutching her head with both hands in mortification. He must have heard what Yagon said earlier too.

  He said nothing, made no noise. He just stood there like an imposing statue for a few tense seconds before turning to stride away.

  She wasn't fired for the broken door and spoiled food. Before she could even collect herself from the floor in the cooler, her boss was wired a credit transfer for "damages".

  Later as she heard of his generosity, it also explained the mysterious funds appearing in her account after the hip procedure. That had been Him too.

  Her "admirer" didn't come back after that, which was a relief for the first week or two. After a while she found herself over thinking the whole thing. Yautja were notorious for being socially incomprehensible. Heather wondered if he just pitied her so much after one of his own kind damn-near destroyed her that he felt responsible for her continued safety. Or, maybe he was just a stalking sleeze-ball. She tended to flounder between the two conclusions, but one thing was certain, he was respecting her boundaries now and she appreciated that.

  After nearly a month, she decided that the best closure she'd get was accepting that the entire ordeal was some bizarre misunderstanding, totally on his part, and he did a few nice things but that didn't make up for the weeks and weeks of discomfort he'd inflicted.

  More time passed, Heather became more comfortable with her new job, and she very nearly forgot about that Yautja. The only time she remembered him were on cold days when her hip would ache, but it was pleasantly warm out on the afternoon she came in for her shift and found Yagon agitated with his antennae twitching so fast one might expect them to fly off his head. Heather looked around, hoping that the cleaning she couldn't finish the night before hadn't upset him. What she found was... Unusual, and she certainly hadn't left the thing there last night.

  It was a skull, from what she wasn't sure, sitting there on the counter by the check out scanner.

  "The Creep is back. This time he left a name with that." Yagon's translator couldn't read the inflections in his speech, but Heather could tell where the translator omitted expletives.

  "W-hat was it? His name?"

  "Stone Fist was the direct translation. I can't get the translator to say the correct pronunciation in his language and he made a scene about it until I threatened to call security. You know what that thing means, don't you?"

  Heather nodded, she knew what it meant. Everyone did. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the empty sockets of the skull. It was as if it were staring through her being.

  "I can still file that report, Heather," Yagon offered again.

  "Don't, I mean... As long as I don't take it, then nothing happens. Right?"

  "As far as I'm aware? I think that's how it works."

  If Heather didn't touch it, he wouldn't come back. If she took it home, he'd follow her home because accepting an offering like that was an act of giving permission to pursue courtship.

  Working with that lifeless skull watching her was eerie to say the least. She covered it with her hat midway through her shift so she didn't have to look at it. At the end of her shift as she fiddled with the patterned key to lock up before she left, she considered the skull one last time. No, She wasn't taking it, but she'd leave a note. Two notes actually, one to ask Stone Fist if he would consider an actual conversation before anything else, and a second note to apologize to Yagon for asking him to speak with Stone Fist again.

To Be Continued?

[stillchaoticlogic]

Falling

Pairing: Raihan x Reader

Falling in love is easy...

It's falling out of love that's the hard part.

As you try to run from old feelings you meet someone who is determined to bring the spark back into your eyes. Raihan isn't sure what happened in the past and he doesn't care. He's got one shot to make you his and he's going to take it.

Begin at the End

You gaze in disbelief as, with a final fire blast, Hau’s Incinaroar sends your Ninetales to the ground. Your eyes widen and you summon her back into her Pokeball robotically. You smile at the new victor and you know, for the first time in three years what freedom tastes like. You walk towards Hau, no longer a boy of fifteen, but a young man of eighteen, and Alola’s new champion. You feel nothing but relief as you shake his hand and congratulate the shell-shocked male in front of you. 

You can practically feel the world jump to life as a new champion joins the ranks. You walk out of the arena for the last time. You wish you could say it’s bittersweet, but all you can feel is the joy of escape.

The hallway leading to the locker room is long and dark. You notice a figure leaning against the wall near the end, you don’t pause just keep walking until his voice pierces the silence. 

“Did you throw the match?”

You stop and turn towards Kukui, your friend and co-worker, the man you had fallen in love with. The man you could never have. 

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me…”

“It doesn’t matter if I did or I didn’t… I’m no longer the champion of the Alola region. As far as I’m concerned I’m a free woman now.”

“You make it sound like we’ve been holding you prisoner.”

“I came here to escape the limelight and yet you were determined to throw me into it all over again. I did as you asked! I built your league, I chose and trained your gym leaders and I put Alola on the map. I would like to be left alone now.”

“(Name)... what happened? I thought you liked it here… You’ve been so distracted lately… and now your loss…”

“Hau will be a great Champion, he grew up on the islands and his grandfather will help him. He will be a wonderful leader and a shining light to trainers here. Don’t worry, your league will be fine.”

“But-”

“Kukui I need to go. I can’t stay here anymore…” You mutter forlornly as you continue on your way leaving him to his thoughts in the darkness. 

That night as you sit gazing at the TV screen a ping on your phone alerts you to a new message. 

Hello (Name)! 

This is Leon, Champion of the Galar region! It has been brought to my attention that another champion has taken over your mantle. Your final battle as champion was absolutely smashing, by the way! The Galar League would like to invite you to consider heading our own league. We are aware you helped to build The Alolan League from the ground up and after the recent loss of our own chairman we are looking for someone to take his place! We believe you would be perfect! We understand that this is a large commitment, so we would like you to come to Galar to get a feel of our League. All expenses will be paid by the committee, of course!

I look forward to your reply!

Leon 

You gaze down at the email before you and you can’t help but feel desperation come over you. A way out! A purpose! A distraction! Better than all of that… An entirely new region away from the man you aren’t supposed to be in love with. 

Your reply back is simple: 

I’ll leave tomorrow.

(Name)

Your escape from Alola is quick and quiet. You are dressed in a pair of ripped blue jeans, with a black top and a blanket like ruana along with your combat boots. You board the plane that almost no one is on and sigh in relief as the plane takes off. Perhaps you will feel more guilty about running off without an explanation later, but right now you need the solitude. 

***The Galar Region***

Raihan can hardly believe his eyes as he watches the replay of the championship match. The (Name) (L.Name) lost to some kid? Raihan is mad about her and had looked up to her for the last couple of years. She is cool, confident, and funny with this cunning wit that he loved. He loved to watch her battle because it was always wild. He could tell that she had grown up battling with these intense strategies and insanely powerful pokemon. They were all powerhouses in their own right; his favorite though, is definitely her Garchomp.

He had noticed the last few months things had been different. She seemed bored in her battles and where she had always been quick-witted and charming during the post-battle interviews, she was now short with her answers. He was a little worried about her, but he had also never met her before, so it’s not like he can just slide into her DMs and start asking personal questions. This last battle had confirmed his suspicions though. She looked relieved when she lost. The champion that he looks up to would never be relieved to lose. Raihan frowns over his eggs as he continues to watch the report. 

The distinct ring of his phone woke him from his musings. Raihan would normally ignore a call so early in the morning, but it’s Leon and he had been helping him look for someone to replace the chairman. 

“What could you possibly need this early?” Raihan asks as he answers the phone. 

“Raihan! She’s coming! She’s on a plane and she’s arriving this evening!”

“Who is?” 

“(Name) (L.Name)!”

“What? How?” he asks in bewilderment. 

“I sent her an email last night! She replied while I was asleep and she said she’s leaving today! It’s a ten-hour flight from Alola! She’s going to be here tonight!”

“She lost her title yesterday! How is she already getting on a plane!”

“I don’t know! But we need to book a room and arrange tours and dinners! You know she would be perfect to run the League! And we’ve been looking for months!”

“I know man… I know… Let’s just take this one step at a time…” Raihan says with a sigh as he leaves his uneaten eggs on the table and heads to his room to change. He hadn’t been expecting his idol to arrive in Galar tonight, but he’s not complaining about it. 

***Later***

You pull the ruana closer around you and adjust the sunglasses. Your steps are quick and sure as you head towards the front of the airport. The nice thing about being a champion is the perks it affords you as you flash your credentials. You walk over to the luggage carousel and pluck your bag from the belt when it comes around. 

You notice a small crowd formed around a couple of people. Upon closer inspection, you see Champion Leon and the eighth Gym Leader Raihan. You walk closer to them and only stop when you hear a small gasp. You look down at the small girl and smile as she squeals.

“Y-you’re- (Name)!!”

“I am! And who are you? You ask as you bend down to speak to her. You don’t notice the silence that has taken over the crowd, or the awe in which they look upon you. 

“I’m Claire! You’re my favorite!” she declares in excitement. 

“Why thank you! Do you have a favorite?” you ask indicating the pokemon on your belt.

“Aurora!” she squeals. 

You tap the top of one of the Pokeballs and Aurora pops out. She gazes around at the crowd before addressing the 8-year-old girl in front of her. You smile at the look of wonder and awe on her face. 

“She’s...beautiful!”

Aurora sits regally beside you then yips at the little girl and bowing her head. Claire looks up at you, you give her a nod of permission then she takes a hesitant step forward and gingerly touches the soft fur on Aurora’s head. 

“She’s fierce in battle, but a total sweetheart otherwise.” 

Aurora lets out a soft cry as she looks back up at you. You run your fingers through her soft fur. 

“Thank you!” Claire says as he gazes up at you in wonder. 

“You’re welcome!” you say as you pull a card from your pack. You sign it before you hand it to her making her gasp. 

“This the best day!” She exclaims as she rushes back to her parents. They look over at you with gratitude before beaming down at their daughter. 

Aurora taps her Pokeball with her nose and a moment later she is nestled inside against your hip. 

“That was...really cool of you to do,” Raihan says as he walks up beside you. He takes the bag from the floor beside you silently offering to carry it for you. 

You shrug in reply, “She’s sweet and how can I turn down such a face?” 

 “I wasn’t expecting you so soon, but I’m glad you could make it! I’m Leon!” Leon says as he steps forward. 

“I’m sorry it was such short notice, but I need a break from Alola. I know I didn’t really give you any time to prepare anything, so just take your time with things. I’m in no rush.”

“Well, I’m sure you’re hungry! There is a great steakhouse near here if you would like to go? My treat of course!”

You give Leon a soft smile, “That’s very kind of you to offer, but I’m tired from the flight. Perhaps something quicker?”

Raihan, who had been letting Leon do the talking and silently psyching himself up, interjects, “What about pizza?”

“A man after my own heart…” you say as you give him a smile, he happily returns it.

Sitting at the pizza place you feel yourself relax a little bit. Leon is doing most of the talking and Raihan seems to be shooting you glances every now and then but doesn’t speak much. 

“I was thinking that you could take a day tomorrow to get adjust, maybe we could show you the town. Then we will start the tour of the gyms and give you a breakdown of the League.” You rest your head on your hands as you listen to Leon. You can tell both of them are nervous, most likely due to the upcoming Gym Challenge. Their former chairman has been stripped of his title and is currently atoning for, well almost destroying the world. They need someone to run things, and you can tell from the bags under Leon’s eyes that he’s been burning the candle at both ends. 

“Don’t be so nervous, I think this will be a good fit for me. I’m mostly curious about the challenges and your gym leaders. My understanding is you don’t have an elite four? You do a challenger competition then a tournament leading up to the championship battle. It’s a little different than what I’m used to, but I can roll with it,” you say with a shrug.

Leon’s shoulders sag in relief, “I’m glad you think so, things have been crazy trying to figure out what needs to be done for the upcoming challenge. I don’t think I can coordinate that and fulfill my champion duties. Raihan and several other gym leaders have been helping out, but they won’t have time for long. I think you would be a great fit and I hope you think so too.”

“No, of course not, you all have things that need to be done for your own gyms. Also, I’m not trying to be presumptions but it sounds like the job is mine if I want it.”

“It is,” Leon says with finality. 

“I think that was the easiest job interview I’ve ever had,” you say with a smile as you take a bite of the pizza in front of you. 

Both men look relieved as they bite into their own food. 

The next day dawns with a text message from Leon stating he’s got some business to attend to, but Raihan will be showing you around. So you’re not surprised when Raihan is waiting in the lobby for you with a cup of coffee and a danish. 

“Did you bring me coffee and food? Watch out… I may decide to marry you on this tour.”

He laughs as he hands the treats over to you, “I wouldn’t be too opposed to that…”

You pretend not to see his wince and the silent chiding he gives himself. 

“Oh? So you like getting married to women you just met?” you say with a smile over your coffee cup, teasing him. 

“Ehh more like getting married to women I admire. I’m kinda a huge fan of yours…” he trails off and looks down obviously embarrassed. 

You smile as he attempts to hide his face from you, “I think that’s awesome that you’re a fan. You’re a really amazing trainer so it’s an honor that you like the way I battle.”

He looks up in surprise, “Really? You’ve seen me battle?”

“Of course! I don’t want to play favorites or anything… but I’ve been hoping you’d take the title for a few years now. You’ve got a… wildness… that Leon doesn’t have. Kinda reminds me of...me…”

“I’m not going to lie… Several of your strategies have inspired a few of mine. That battle you had with Lance a few years ago… That was intense!”

You laugh, “Lance is an old friend, every time we get together I goad him into a battle. He taught me a lot about dragons and battling in general, he’s a little stiff, but he’s great at what he does. He mostly just thinks I’m the little sister he never wanted.”

“You know a ton of great champions and trainers don’t you?”

You shrug as you head off down the street towards the taxi he called, “It comes with the territory… When you make champion I’ll make sure you meet the right champions to further your career.”

“When?”

“We both know it’s going to happen… You have too much passion and drive for it not to.”

Raihan stops at the casual way you proclaimed his victory over Leon as if it had already happened. As if it’s set in stone. Do you really have that much confidence in him? 

“Well if you keep talking like that then we just might have to get married today,” he says with a laugh as he bumps your shoulder. 

You giggle as you climb into the taxi, and for just a moment you feel light and free with the giddiness of hope that this is where you need to be.

Notes: 

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my Raihan fic! I think it’s an interesting dynamic and it’s going to be fuuunnnn! I basically just want awkward yet smooth Raihan flirting with me making me feel like a queen all day. Come at me....

Anyway! Please let me know your thoughts!! Also, do you like the thought of certain parts being told from his POV? Let me know and I’ll play with it if you do!

[noona-clock]

What’s Your Sign?: Cancer

Genre: Roommate!AU

Pairing: Minhyuk (CNBLUE) x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of nudity, Cursing, Robbery/Attempted assault

Words: 6,203

Author’s Note: Since I’m so fascinated by astrology, I decided to do a Zodiac series! I will be writing a one-shot fic for each sign featuring different members from different groups (and even an actor!). Each story will be posted on the 5th of the month during that sign’s season. Please reblog, comment, or send in an ask with your feedback! Thank you for your support 💜

No one ever really knows when they wake up in the morning that the upcoming day will change their life.

If you had woken up this morning and known that... well, you weren’t sure what you would’ve done about it, but at least you would’ve been prepared. At least you would’ve gone about your day knowing that things wouldn’t be the same when you went to sleep that night.

But you hadn’t woken up this morning and known that today would change your life. You hadn’t been prepared whatsoever.

In fact, you weren’t prepared for the next few days!

But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We still need to get through today.

And let’s start with the backstory.

After graduating from University, you and your best friend/roommate/partner-in-crime had signed a lease for a beautiful apartment and had been roommates for the last five years. 

You’d had many, many wonderful times in this apartment with her. Movie nights, dinner dates, board games, dance parties...

And then she’d gotten married.

Don’t get me wrong: you were happy for her! Thrilled! There was nothing you wanted more than for your best friend to be happily married to the girl of her dreams.

But that did mean you'd been left without a roommate in a two-bedroom apartment.

You had a fairly good job with a fairly good salary, but you still couldn’t afford a two-bedroom apartment by yourself.

You’d had to find a roommate -- and fast.

Since you hadn’t trusted simply putting an ad out on the internet or finding someone on some random message board, you’d asked around. You’d asked your friends, your family, your co-workers, and thankfully, the receptionist at your company said he had a cousin who was currently in your situation: looking for a roommate.

He had very quickly warned you that his cousin was a guy, but you dismissed the fact with a wave of your hand. 

You were old enough and mature enough to handle living with a guy! As long as he was clean, respectful, and paid rent on time, you didn’t really care who your roommate was.

He gave you his cousin’s contact information -- Kang Minhyuk, his name was -- and you messaged him as soon as possible.

It had taken you less than a week to know you wouldn’t have any problems having Minhyuk as a roommate. Most of the time, he texted you back within minutes which meant he was responsible and observant. If you ever texted him somewhat late at night (meaning after 11), you didn’t receive a response back until the next morning which meant he was probably on the same sleep schedule as you. And he used emojis which meant he wasn’t some “I’m too cool for emojis” dude.

Honestly, what more could you ask for?

Minhyuk had moved in two weeks after your first message, and the two of you had been cohabitating pretty peacefully for over a year now.

He was no replacement for your best friend, of course, but you would be lying if you said you hadn’t gotten close to him. He was an incredibly nice guy, and while he did kind of keep to himself most of the time, you basically never saw him without a smile on his face. He always did the dishes whenever you cooked a meal for both of you, he always opened the very top cabinet when you couldn’t reach it (which was all the time), and he even insisted on answering the door if anyone ever knocked on it after dark.

Really, the only somewhat negative thing you could say about him was the fact he could -- and did -- play the drums. But he didn’t even have a real drum set in his room; he had one of those electric ones, and whenever he played them he plugged in his headphones so you could only hear the soft thud of his sticks and nothing more. I mean, unless you specifically asked to hear him play, which you had quite a few times. The guy was good!

He was also super good about grabbing something you’d forgotten after you’d already left the house and running down to meet you in the parking lot to give it to you.

Which, sadly, happened more often than you liked.

And which, sadly, had happened just now.

Today, it was your watch. And, yes, you could totally just use the clock on your phone, but you were just the kind of person who liked wearing a watch. You wanted to be able to just glance down at your wrist at a moment’s notice and not have to worry about finding your phone or reaching into your pocket or seeing all of the notifications you had to go through -- emails, messages, Tweets, Instagram posts...

You just liked wearing a watch! And if you weren’t wearing one, you felt weird.

So, once you rolled up to the first red light after realizing you’d forgotten to put one on this morning, you grabbed your phone and quickly sent a message to Minhyuk. He usually replied within seconds, and just after you pressed ‘Send,’ the light turned green again. After tossing your phone onto the passenger’s seat, you moved into the turn lane so you could turn around and head back to your apartment building. You knew he would see your message, go into your room, grab the first watch he saw, and head out to the parking lot to meet you -- it had happened several times before, and it was going to happen several more times after this, of that you had no doubt.

But, just a few minutes later, when you pulled up to the spot in which you usually parked, you didn’t see Minhyuk out there with one of your watches in his hand. You didn’t see him at all, actually... 

Even though it would probably mean you would be a bit late for work, you pulled into the parking spot, turned off your car, and headed inside.

You began to get more concerned when you didn’t even run into Minhyuk on the way to your front door, and as soon as you unlocked and opened it, you called out his name.

“Did you get my message?” you asked, heading back to your room.

Just as you left the living room and turned the corner, you heard his bathroom door open. You could hear the shower running, and before you could even register that Minhyuk was walking toward the linen closet with absolutely no clothes on, you realized that was why he hadn’t been waiting for you outside. He had been getting ready to take a shower, so he hadn’t --

OH MY GOD, HE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO CLOTHES ON.

“Oh god!” you cried, your eyes widening before you quickly brought your hands up to cover your face. “Sorry!”

You heard Minhyuk’s astonished -- and embarrassed -- cry, and then you heard the rapid sounds of him opening the closet and grabbing a towel.

“What are --”

“I forgot my watch,” you explained hastily. “I texted you, but I didn’t know you were -- I was just coming in to -- I am SO sorry!”

“I was going to take a -- but I forgot --” he stammered.

You peeked through your fingers, seeing he had successfully covered himself with the towel he’d originally forgotten, but you still decided to put him out of his misery -- put you both out of your misery, actually -- and end the awkwardness.

“No -- no worries,” you said. “I’ll just --”

And you practically tripped on your own feet as you dashed to your room to grab a watch. (You actually grabbed two watches so you could keep one at work for when this happened again -- and you knew it would. You would much rather just have a backup watch in your desk drawer than risk this ever happening again.)

By the time you got back out into the hallway, Minhyuk was gone, and his bathroom door was closed.

Thank god.

You got back in your car and drove to work in a daze, your mind both completely blank but also filled with the image of a completely naked Minhyuk.

But it wasn’t until you actually arrived at work and sat down at your desk that you realized...

His body? Absolutely banging.

You truly almost screamed out loud when you thought that.

No! You should not be thinking that about your roommate!

You should not!

Not ever!

Never!

...Even though it was true.

NO!

Stop!

Stop it right now!

Stop thinking about his very well-muscled arms.

And his broad shoulders.

And his sturdy chest.

And his lean waist.

And his --

You blinked hard, squeezing your eyes shut in hopes that it would make all of these highly inappropriate thoughts vanish from your mind.

But, of course, it didn’t.

In fact, you went through your entire workday unable to not think about Minhyuk’s body -- his naked body. And, needless to say, you also went through your entire workday with flaming hot cheeks.

When your watch beeped to signal the end of your shift, you truly almost collapsed onto your desk and cried.

How were you supposed to go home and face him?! How were you supposed to act normally around him?! How were you supposed to look at him and not imagine him with no clothes on and not imagine him holding you with those well-muscled arms and kissing you with his sweet lips and carrying you into --

Your eyes widened.

...Oh my --

Why had you --

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

...Ah, yes. In case it hasn’t become obvious, today was the day when you had woken up in the morning and hadn’t known it would change your life. Today was the day you had absolutely not been prepared for -- the day you had accidentally seen your roommate naked.

And now you had to go home and see him and try to hide the fact you had been thinking about his body at work all day and also that you’d kind of imagined him kissing you and carrying you to his bedroom while he was still naked.

Shit.

You took a deep breath as you stood at the door of your apartment, one hand resting on the doorknob. Never in your life had you thought you would ever have to prepare yourself to walk into your own apartment, but here we are.

“Just be normal,” you whispered to yourself. “Normal is not that hard. You’re normal every other day of your life, so just --”

“Hey,” Minhyuk interrupted, sounding a bit confused as he walked up behind you.

You jumped at his sudden presence, scrambling to turn around as your heart nearly leaped out of your chest.

“Oh, sorry!” he replied with slightly widened eyes. Obviously, he hadn’t thought you’d be so scared by his simply greeting you, just like you hadn’t thought he wouldn’t be inside the apartment! “I didn’t -- Are you okay?”

“Yes!” you assured him hastily.

“You just... were standing there for a long time. Did you forget your key?”

Oh, god, why had he used the word ‘forget’? It only reminded you of what had happened this morning. Did you now have a reputation of forgetting things?

“No, I --”

But you didn’t even bother coming up with an excuse. You simply whirled back around and opened the door.

It wasn’t until you got inside and hung your bag and jacket up in the coat closet when you realized Minhyuk was carrying two boxes of pizza.

You opened your mouth to ask him about it as you closed the closet door, but he began speaking before you got the chance.

“I hope you’re hungry for pizza,” he said, and one glance at him awarded you the view of his very sweet but very awkward grin.

“Yes,” you answered. “Always. Of course.”

“Good. I figured... I wanted to apologize --”

“Oh my god,” you intervened. “No, you don’t need to -- I should be the one --”

“I usually wait until you’re --”

“I should’ve known when you weren’t out in the parking lot --”

“And I hardly ever forget a towel --”

“I called your name, but I guess you couldn’t hear, and I --”

“I’m so sorry,” you both said at the same time.

Somehow, that seemed to break the awkward ice, and both of you let out a soft, relieved sigh.

“So,” Minhyuk said with an adorable grin. “Pizza?”

A grin of your own tugged at the corners of your lips, and you nodded. “Pizza.”

And you thought it was truly resolved. Honestly, you did.

But then Minhyuk suggested watching an episode of the drama the two of you were watching together, and you both plopped on the couch with your pizza, and even though you weren’t sitting that close to him -- like, you weren’t even touching him at all! -- just the fact that you could reach out and touch him was enough for all of your thoughts from earlier to come rushing back into your brain.

Great.

I mean, it didn’t help that he was wearing shorts and had a penchant of stretching his legs out to prop his heels up on the coffee table.

Minhyuk had definitely worn shorts before, and you had definitely seen his bare legs before -- why were you just now noticing how wonderfully sculpted they were?

He had definitely worn short-sleeved t-shirts before, and you had definitely seen his bare arms before -- why were you just now noticing how exquisitely toned they were?

It had to have been because of the drumming thing. That absolutely accounted for his muscled arms and bulging biceps --

Wow, the word ‘bulging’ was absolutely not the best word for you to be thinking right now. In fact, it might even be the worst!

Suddenly, Minhyuk let out a burst of laughter, and you jumped yet again. You, apparently, had been so lost in your own head that you hadn’t been paying enough attention to the drama.

And Minhyuk noticed.

After his laughter died down, he glanced over at you with a somewhat concerned expression. “You okay?”

Your eyebrows shot halfway up your forehead, and you nodded hastily. “Yeah, I -- just zoned out a little. Work was hectic today.”

Good save.

Minhyuk lifted his heels from the coffee table, setting his feet gently down on the floor in front of the couch and looked as if he was going to reach for the remote. “Do you wanna just finish this another time? If you’re stressed out, you should go relax. Take a bath or something.”

Noooooooooooo!

Why had he suggested a bath?! It was bad enough that you had seen him naked; you certainly didn’t want to give him the opportunity to see you naked! Or even think about it!

“No, no, I’m good,” you choked out. “We can finish this.”

And you shoved a piece of pizza into your mouth before you could say anything else. Your mind was so chaotic with thoughts of Minhyuk naked right now, you were actually terrified you would unintentionally blurt out something you would immediately regret.

Somehow, you managed to make it through the rest of the show -- though, you’d ended up eating almost an entire pizza as a way to distract yourself both from thinking so much about Minhyuk with no clothes on and saying something about it.

Minhyuk had, of course, mentioned that you’d eaten the whole thing. Not in a bad way, of course. He was rarely ever mean-spirited. In fact, if he ever had been mean-spirited, you hadn’t been there to see it. He had simply chuckled and pointed out that your day must have really been stressful.

You had just chuckled in return and nodded before taking another huge bite.

So, yes, while you had made it through the rest of the show and had headed off to get ready for bed without letting slip what it was that had you so bothered, you were now flopped across your bed with the fullest stomach you’d probably ever had in your entire life.

You were definitely going to regret this tomorrow. Actually, you were going to regret a lot of things about today. But you were also going to learn from your mistakes and make sure they never -- ever -- happened again.

Ever.

Your eyes shot open in panic.

“Oh, my god,” you whispered in-between heaving breaths as you slowly sat up in your bed.

The clock on your bedside table beamed out five AM, and you knew immediately you wouldn’t be getting back to sleep. Your alarm was going to go off in an hour and a half for work --

...Except. It was Saturday.

Lovely.

One of the two days you could sleep in, and you ended up waking up even earlier than you did during the week!

All because of this dream.

Oh, this dream.

It was the reason why your eyes had just shot open in panic, and the reason why your chest had been heaving trying to catch your breath.

It will be no surprise to learn that the dream had been one of the more erotic variety, and it had starred Minhyuk.

Of course.

Of freaking course!

Could you be any more obvious?! Having a hot and sexy dream about your roommate the night after accidentally seeing him naked. Wow.

Well, there was really only one thing you could do right now. Since you weren’t going to be able to fall back asleep, and since your hormones and adrenaline were both raging at the moment, you dragged yourself out of bed and got changed into your workout gear.

You were in the perfect mood to exercise, and since this so rarely happened, you needed to take advantage of it.

So, once you got changed and filled up your water bottle, you hauled yourself over to the complex’s gym in the main building. Unsurprisingly, as you got onto an elliptical and put your headphones in, you thought in the back of your mind that Minhyuk had to visit the gym very regularly to get a body like that.

You quickly set the time and intensity on the machine as high as you dared; you would have to go long and hard to get the images of Minhyuk working out expelled from your brain.

And now you would probably have to add ten extra minutes because of the words “long and hard.”

Sigh.

As you’d expected, the adrenaline you’d gotten from your dream had been the secret ingredient for a workout that you’d usually been missing. If you ever found a) the time and b) the energy to exercise, it was typically right before you went to bed, and your adrenaline was basically non-existent.

So, suffice it to say, this morning workout was without a doubt the best workout you’d had in quite some time. When you got back to the apartment almost two hours later, you were exhausted and energized and disgusting.

But at least you had elliptical-ed your Minhyuk dream out of your brain.

...Kind of.

It was still definitely there, but more like near the back. Not right in the forefront. Not screaming out for attention. Not standing right in front of you making a smoothie --

Oh, wait.

Since it wasn’t even seven in the morning, you had expected to come back to a quiet, empty apartment -- not truly empty, of course. You’d just thought that Minhyuk would still be asleep. Because, as we established earlier, it was Saturday. And we all know why you were awake this early on a Saturday, but why would Minhyuk be?

Alas. He was. He was in the kitchen in a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts, standing in front of the blender and making a smoothie.

He jumped a little when you opened the front door, glancing over his shoulder and looking both confused and relieved when he saw you.

And he also looked sweaty.

Wonderful.

Fantastic.

Just what you needed right now: a sweaty Minhyuk who was showing off his arms and legs. Great!

He stopped the blender and said, “You’re up early.”

“Yeah, I -- I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I thought I might as well go to the gym,” you explained.

“Oh, yeah? I just went on a run.”

Which accounted for his sweatiness.

“Do you want a post-workout smoothie?”

You had been kind of sneaking your way to your room, but when he asked you that, you paused. “Oh -- no. No, thank you,” you answered.

Minhyuk then turned around fully to face you, leaning back against the kitchen counter and frowning at you. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting really weird since --”

He stopped talking, and your heart stopped along with him.

Oh, god, this conversation was about to get really awkward, wasn’t it?

To your surprise, though, he simply nodded slowly to himself before turning back around and grabbing a glass for his smoothie.

Without another word, you hurried to your room to get ready for a shower.

Quite early on in your roommate relationship, you discovered that Minhyuk was a homebody. If he wasn’t going to work or over to his parent’s house for dinner, he usually stayed home. Most of the time, he was in his room either practicing his drumming or reading or something. Sometimes, he watched movies out in the living room, and he also liked to spend time in the kitchen. 

And this is exactly why, after showering and getting ready for the day, you headed out.

You went to visit your best friend/former roommate and her wife. You went to visit your parents. You went to the local mall to do some shopping. You treated yourself to a movie and some dinner afterward.

Basically, you did whatever you could to stay away from your apartment.

Working out had helped temporarily -- mainly, it had pushed the dream you’d had from your mind and made it less vivid. But it really hadn’t done anything about what had started it all. You still saw Minhyuk’s unclothed body every time you closed your eyes, including when you blinked. And you saw it in extreme detail.

But it was now getting dark outside, and you’d done everything you could think of to keep yourself from going home. Everything short of spending the night with your parents, of course, and you weren’t quite so desperate as to do that.

A deep sigh escaped your lips as you exited the restaurant where you’d just had dinner, and you clutched the strap of your bag as you headed out to the parking lot.

You began to rehearse what you were going to say to Minhyuk if he asked where you’d been all day -- and he would, of course. He was just like that. He cared about your life, and he seemed to genuinely enjoy hearing about your day if you did anything out of the ordinary. You knew you needed to be careful about what you told him because you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

You weren’t hiding from him.

You were just... 

...Well. You weren’t exactly sure what you were doing because it certainly seemed like you were hiding from him.

But you weren’t! You were just --

All of a sudden, you felt a presence behind you. You blinked rapidly and turned to look, but before you got the chance, you felt a strong grip on your bag.

“Wha --” you gasped, your body jerking in shock as the strong grip began to tear your bag away from you.

Before whoever it was could fully take it from you, though, you reached out and grabbed onto it as tightly as you could. You whirled around, your heart stopping when you saw some guy you’d never seen before. He was wearing a dark turtleneck and hat with sunglasses covering his eyes even though the sun was almost fully set.

“Stop!” you cried out, trying to yank your bag out from his hands. 

When he wouldn’t let go, you kicked one of your legs out in an attempt to knock him down -- but he was too quick, and he, apparently, thought your idea was a good one because he followed suit.

He kicked you right in the thigh, and you went flying down onto the asphalt.

You cried out in pain, and when you saw the guy running away with your purse tucked under his arm, you cried out again. “Stop! That’s my --!”

But the pain was becoming too intense now -- you realized just how hard you’d landed on the ground and how hard he’d kicked your leg.

Tears pooled in your eyes, and they began to stream down onto your cheeks as you thought about the fact he now had your bag.

Your keys, your wallet, your work ID card... everything you needed for your daily life.

But, thankfully, not everything.

Your phone was still in your back pocket, and even though you had fallen squarely onto your butt, when you gingerly lifted one side to take it out, you found there were only a few minor scratches. Thank god.

You first called the police, explaining to them as steadily as you could that you’d just been mugged. You were relatively okay -- no ambulance was necessary at the moment, but he’d taken off with your bag. You gave the best description of the guy you could muster as well as a very detailed description of your bag and its contents, and they promised you they would be there within ten minutes.

When you hung up with the police, you called the first person you could think of: Minhyuk.

“Hey, what’s up?” he answered, and you heard the muffled sounds of a movie in the background.

You hated to interrupt his movie night, but... this was kind of important.

“Hey,” you sniffled.

Before you could even get another word out, Minhyuk said, “What’s wrong?”

“I --” you stammered, feeling your throat closing up. “I just -- I had dinner, and I was just walking out to my car, and this guy -- he -- he took -- and he kicked --”

“Are you all right?”

“Kind of. He kicked me down to the ground, and -- and he took my bag, but I don’t think anything is broken or bleeding,” you told him, your voice thick with emotion.

“Did you call the police?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Where are you?”

Your heart began to race inside your chest as you told him the name of the restaurant, and after promising he would be there as soon as he could, you told him to bring your spare key. Even if you didn’t drive yourself home tonight, all of your purchases from your mall shopping spree were in your trunk -- you sure as hell weren’t leaving without those.

“Do you want me to stay on the line as I’m driving?” he asked. You heard the sound of the front door closing behind him, and even though he wasn’t physically here with you yet, you felt so much better just knowing that he was on his way.

“No, it’s okay,” you assured him.

“All right,” he answered, though he didn’t sound too convinced. “I’ll be there soon, just hang tight, okay?”

You hummed in response, and when the call ended, you slowly pushed yourself off the ground to stand up.

Thankfully, your car wasn’t too far away, and you managed to limp over to it before anyone going into or out of the restaurant could see you. It would be embarrassing enough to have Minhyuk see you like this -- you didn’t need strangers to!

And, now that you actually had some time to think about it... why had you called Minhyuk? Why hadn’t you called your best friend or your dad? Was it because he had been in the back of your mind all day? Because you basically hadn’t thought of anyone else since... oh, yesterday morning?

I mean, yeah, he was a guy. He was strong, and it would have been really helpful if he had been here just a few minutes ago. But there was nothing he could do about the situation now. He couldn’t chase the guy down and tackle him to the ground to get your bag back.

When you saw blue flashing lights in the distance, you suddenly realized that you’d called Minhyuk because he was the only one who had access to your spare car key!

Of course! That was totally the reason why! Your key was in your bag, and your spare key was in the apartment, and Minhyuk was also in the apartment, and that was it!

You almost let out a sigh of relief at finally having figured it out, but the police were approaching you, so you had to get your wits about you to give your statement.

You greeted the officers quietly, assuring them you were all right and repeating the description of both the event and the perpetrator you’d given over the phone.

Just as you’d finished telling them the color of his turtleneck, you heard the squeal of brakes on tires, a car door opening, and --

“Y/N!”

Your heart jumped up into your throat, and your eyes darted over to see Minhyuk getting out of his car and jogging over to you.

Your eyes filled with tears again at the sight of him, and before you knew it, he had reached you and enveloped you in his arms.

“Oh, my god,” he breathed into your hair as he held you carefully. “Are you okay?”

You nodded even though you were currently crying, your fingers clutching the back of his shirt.

And you knew this was why you had called him. Not because you needed your spare key -- though that was true. 

You’d called him because you needed this. You needed his arms around you, you needed his comforting, familiar scent surrounding you.

You needed him.

“Thank you, ma’am,” the officer interrupted. “I think we got all we need. We’ll give you a call when we find him so we can return your things.”

You were so deep in Minhyuk’s embrace, that you couldn’t even lift your head to say ‘Thank you’ or nod at them in response, so Minhyuk did it for you. He thanked them for their time, and as they left, one hand moved up to cradle the back of your head.

The two of you stayed there for at least a few minutes after the police drove off, though it seemed like much, much longer.

When Minhyuk finally pulled away, he took your face in his hands and began to examine you for injuries.

“I’m okay,” you assured him, your voice raspy and soft.

“Where did he kick you?” he asked in harsh, clipped tones.

“My -- my leg. I had tried to kick him, but he dodged it, and then he kicked me.”

“You’re sure nothing’s broken?”

You nodded, and Minhyuk’s hands moved to your shoulders.

“You don’t need to go to the hospital?”

You shook your head. “I just --” Tears began to fill your eyes once again, and you swallowed down the lump forming in your throat. “I just want to go home.”

“All right,” he whispered. “I’ll drive, and I’ll come to get your car later, okay?”

“Wait -- I have some bags in the trunk. I -- I went shopping earlier.”

Minhyuk nodded and reached into his pocket for your key. He unlocked your car, popped your trunk, and grabbed all of your bags before transferring them to his own trunk.

You managed to get into his car by yourself, wincing and groaning as the pain got even more acute and obvious. 

You were not looking forward to how you would feel when you woke up tomorrow.

When Minhyuk joined you in the car, he turned the engine over, put the gear in drive... and then he reached for your hand.

He took your hand and brought it over into his lap, his fingers grasping yours tightly.

But you didn’t even have time to process what he’d done -- what he was doing -- before he asked, “You didn’t know the guy?”

“No,” you murmured.

“So, it was just random,” he stated rather than questioned. “It doesn’t make it better but at least we know you weren’t a strategic target.”

“He -- he does have my license now, though,” you pointed out. “He knows where I live.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to leave your side until he’s found and arrested.”

...Oh, boy. You’d spent the whole day trying to avoid seeing him, and now you would have no choice but to see him.

Maybe it was the adrenaline or maybe it was the feeling you’d gotten from being in his arms... or maybe it was something else entirely, but you felt the very strong urge to tell him everything. Tell him why you’d been out all day. Tell him why you’d woken up so early.

...So, you did.

“I stayed away from the apartment all day because I didn’t want to see you,” you admitted. “The... the situation yesterday just -- it really threw me for a loop. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and I woke up so early this morning because I had a dream about you, and now I don’t think I’ll be able to stop thinking about how it felt to be in your arms, and if I had just not forgotten my stupid watch, none of this would have happened, and --”

“Wait,” he interjected, squeezing your hand. “You... you haven’t been able to stop thinking about me?”

...Why did he not sound totally freaked out?

“Uh... no,” you gulped.

And, believe it or not, Minhyuk let out a sigh of relief.

A sigh of relief!

What?!

“I thought I had traumatized you,” he said. “Like, in a bad way. I was honestly waiting for you to tell me you were going to move out or something!”

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about that, but hearing him say it actually hurt your heart. You hadn’t realized until now that moving out was the last thing you wanted to do.

But, still. You couldn’t quite believe that he was relieved.

“No, you didn’t traumatize me, but... I mean, you heard me say I had a dream about you? And, like, in the dream you were very much in the same... outfit as you were yesterday morning. If you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” he chuckled.

Chuckled! He chuckled! Why was he being so nonchalant about this?!

“So, why are you still holding my hand?” you asked, your brow furrowed as you stared at his fingers linked through yours. “Why aren’t you grossed out?!”

“Because I like you!” he answered, sounding as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And, I swear to god, if I ever find the guy who did this to you, I will kill him.”

Your eyes widened. That certainly wasn’t the Minhyuk you knew. He barely argued with the landlord when something in your apartment was broken, and you definitely could not imagine him ever wanting to kill someone.

But one look at his face told you that he was incredibly serious about his statement.

Which meant he really must like you.

Why else would he get so... protective? Why else would he state his murderous intentions and promise you he wouldn’t leave your side until the robber was caught?

“...You -- you like me?” you asked meekly.

Minhyuk glanced over at you and dipped his chin in a small nod. “Yeah,” he answered. “I... have for a while now.”

And, despite the throbbing pain in your thigh, hip, and back, despite the fear in your stomach, and despite the fact you’d spent the last two days wishing it had never happened, you said, “Well, you should have made me walk in on you naked earlier, then.”

Minhyuk burst out laughing, and the sound of it made your heart glow. He brought your hand up to his smiling lips, placing an amused kiss on your knuckles as your heart glowed even more.

You knew there was quite a serious talk you had to have when you got home -- maybe not tonight, but certainly very, very soon. There were boundaries you should establish, feelings you needed to flesh out, and decisions you needed to make.

But, right now, you were more than content to sit in his car, hold his hand, and finally -- finally -- let yourself think about him with no clothes on.

It would probably be a while before you saw that again, but hey -- at least now you didn’t have to feel creepy about it.

OTHER SIGNS: ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, SAGITTARIUS, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS, PISCES

[bambisfuneral]

Warnings: Mentions of suicide

Ｅｎｔｅｒ ｐａｓｓｗｏｒｄ： ＊＊＊＊＊

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Ｗｅｌｃｏｍｅ Ｇｕｅｓｔ Ｕｓｅｒ

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Sunlight soon covered your half sleeping form, it made you throw your arm over your face to shield you eyes from the light. After what felt like ten minutes which was only ten seconds, you slowly sat up and stared at the bulletin board that hung above your desk. Instead of there being only two pictures, there were now four. The first one was a candid picture of you writing in her notebook, the second one was of Tendou with a wide smile holding up a peace sign and you in the background pouting at him.

“So you know how I said I used to be in your same position? I used to be a patient too, and in this psych ward. I just kinda..... I didn’t have anybody else admit me here I signed myself up, but with the way people treated me and how they talked to me, it sorta felt like they were the ones that made me sign up. It was like everything I did and said was wrong. Y’know I played volleyball when I was in school? That was where my heart was at, but people took it so serious. Like what’s the point in playing if you can’t have fun doing it?” I listened intently to everything he said nodding in agreement, it did suck being treated like you were beneath any and everybody so I knew how Tendou felt.

“That was my paradise, but my last year of high school, my team lost nationals and after that, volleyball for me was no more. Actually, all those guys you seen in the staff room? We were all on the same team, he wasn’t here but this guy Ushijima, I think he was my first true friend. He was never scared of me! To him, I was just another guy. Can you believe that? I was actually normal to somebody for once, I was never a monster. But I didn’t know that growing up, I was so used to people calling me a monster that I eventually became one........”

Tendou had stopped talking and I looked up from the food he gave me to look at him, he was looking up at the stars and he had a longing look on his face. Eventually a small smile replaced that, “I was lucky though, I healed eventually. Not everybody gets the chance to do that, so I wanted to do better and be better. So I went to college to be certified to be a doctor here, it feels nice being able to connect with people in this field. And then it feels even better knowing you played a part in making other people feel like they’re something, even if it’s just for a second”. He had looked over at me and his smile grew, “oh by the way, that’s Semi’s left overs so you might wanna thank him for that the next time you see him”.

The memory swallowed your mind and it was like you was glued to her bed as your eyes stuck to the picture of the red-haired doctor, he was an odd one. But he kept you company and was definitely a lot more accommodating than most doctors. Maybe you should just relax today. You rolled your eyes crossing your arms stubbornly. I’m being serious Y/N, you beat yourself up a lot for things that aren’t your fault. You don’t want Satori to come back tomorrow figuring out that you’re putting yourself in an unfixable predicament. “Kenma it’s fine! I told you that I got it under control, I’ve been feeling okay” Yeah Tendou’s right, you are full of shit. You watched Kenma hop up on your desk swinging his legs, “Oh I didn’t realize I was here to get tag teamed by you two” and you’re right, you’re not. You’re here to get better, but you can’t do that if you’re making yourself feel like crap all the time. I’m telling you, being around Satori’s gonna be a good change for you. You bit your lip and changed into a fresh set of clothes tossing your dirty ones in a corner.

“Hey doll, I know you’re not gonna like this very much, but I’m not gonna be here tomorrow. I got the day off and I got things I need to do, but I’ll drop you off some lunch and dinner so you don’t gotta eat the crap that they serve in the cafeteria. So.... what do you like?”

“So what am I supposed to do when he’s gone?” You muttered to yourself frowning. Ummm maybe socialize? Go eat breakfast? Maybe go talk to one of Satori’s co-workers? Kenma was talking to you like you were slow and it frustrated you but knowing he was just looking out for you, you decided to let it go. “Okay well I guess we can find that one guy I’ll Dr. Tendou was talking to in the staff room last night, it’d be easier if I could just ask around but I don’t know his-” Dr. Semi Eita, you’re welcome.

“Okay so it’s your turn to share now, and IIIII knooow you want to ask me stuff. I can see it on your face” Tendou’s eyes to match his sly smirk and he poked my cheek repeatedly before I slapped his hand away, “I mean.... you said you weren’t mad but I’ve never seen you lash out like that and it didn’t happen until after you and that guy talked”. I watched as his smirk dropped and his eyes darkened, “Doll you’ve never seen me lash out, not even in the least. So listen to me when I say I wasn’t mad. Now what else’s on your mind?” My lips pursed to the side as I looked away from him and clenched my fists together on my lap, his hands covered mine and he slowly opened my fists. I could tell by his gaze that he was still waiting for me to answer his question.

You walked up to the marbled counter with a glass wall surrounded it, behind the glass was an older bigger woman with brown hair which was starting to grey. Her fingers cracked against the keyboards for what seemed like a good five minutes before she stopped and looked up at you coldly. The woman was looking at her over her glass before pushing the frames to the bridge of her nose, “can I help you?”. You looked over at Kenma nervously and he was leaning against the wall with a thumbs up, you just huffed and turned back to the lady behind the counter. “Yes um.....” Y/N...... I swear, you spent eight minutes in your room just trying to figure out what you had to say and you spent an extra ten minutes reciting what you were planning on saying. Stop overthinking it and get it over with. This made her eyes widen and fists clench tightly, “I was wondering if I could see Dr. Semi? I’m assigned to Dr. Tendou but he’s not here today and he said if I needed to talk to somebody then to ask one of his doctor friends”

There was a moment of silence with the lady staring at her with amusement dancing in her eyes. A few seconds passed by before she pressed one of the buttons on a metal board off to the side, “Dr. Semi? Yes you have a patient here to talk to you, so if you would just come around to the front to come get her that’d be great. She said she’s one of Dr. Tendou’s patients”

“I was wondering if tonight could be our first official solo therapy? And maybe whenever we have them, we can have them up here?” I asked meekly only to be met with silence and then a thundering laugh, “That’s all? Yeah I doubt that was the only thing that’s been going through your brain these passed thirty minutes”. My lips curled downward while I shook my head, “Obviously not but I can’t just sit here and dump all my thoughts on you all at once!” A small smile was given to me which seem like a sign of appreciation, “Okay well we can start with that solo therapy then, how’s every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday at eight sound?”

The man from last night came around the wall next to the counter and gave you a warm smile. “Dr. Semi?” He just nodded and reached his hand out for you to grab, “You can just call me Semi, it’s fine. Let’s go into my office” you followed behind him and you looked back to see Kenma grinning to himself. He gave you a reassuring smile before turning to leave, you wanted to call out after him but you felt eyes boring into the side of your head. When you turned back to face Tendou’s co-worker, he was looking at you with a patient look but sort of threw his head motioning to go walk inside his office, so into his office you went. As soon as you walked in he patted the other end of the sleek burgundy couch he was sitting on, “so, is everything okay? Tendou told you he was off today right?”

You just nodded your head making yourself comfortable on the cold material you were sitting on, “Yeah I just wanted to know if he’s gonna be back tomorrow, and I was kinda wondering if I could have a solo therapy session with you? And maybe you could record it so you can show it to Dr. Tendou?” Semi smiled softly at you nodding. “Yeah, of course! I’m assuming that things are going smoothly with you and him because of what you just asked of me? And thank you for feeling comfortable enough to talk with me” This made you mirror the smile on his face as you dropped your hands in your lap, “Yeah! I was pretty indifferent at first, but Kenma convinced me that this would be good for me. And yeah, I figured that if Satori knew you in high school and you were still friends that you couldn’t be all that bad. Especially with how he is....... but I have a question”

Demi’s eyebrows quirked up at the use of Tendou’s first name, he barely allows anybody to use his first name so it took him by surprise, his predicament must’ve been more serious than he let on. He stayed quiet but gestured for you to continue with your question, “Last night when you and him were talking, why did he ended up so...... not mad but....” you didn’t even know what to say to described how he was and how it felt being near him during that ride up to the roof but it seemed like Semi understood what you meant because he chuckled knowingly.

“Yeah see, it’s not really my place to tell you this, but I’m sure Tendou’s already told you about him being a passed patient here. He gets a certain attachment to people easily and he used to be very co-dependent to the individuals he was attached to, it was very unhealthy what he was going through. He’s actually still bettering himself about it. So he was just telling me some things and I was trying to understand the situation and tell him that things aren’t always what they seem, then he just..... sort of became frustrated. It’s hard to explain but I hope you understand, maybe tomorrow you can talk to him about it. Now about that session, let’s begin?” You nodded and on cue he hit the recording button on his voice recorder, “So Miss Y/N, why are you here?”

“So doll, are you gonna tell me why you’re here? Did you sign yourself up orrr....” Tendou didn’t finish the last part to his sentence but I understood where he was going with it, “um..... okay so I was actually signed up by my parents, back in my first year of high school. The doctors at the ward I was assigned to said nothing was wrong with me, but then my parents told them about my habits, how I acted, what I did, all that fun stuff, and so the doctors deemed me to have a type two bipolar disorder, schizophrenic, aaaand a compulsive liar”. I seen Tendou grinned to myself and my brow raised in confusion, “Yeah I seen the compulsive liar part in your files and I started questioning that, cause you haven’t been showing any signs of being a liar”

I huffed and rolled my eyes in irritation, “it’s because I’m not! My parents were so hellbent on trying to convince them that I was suicidal, but I’m not and I never was! I just know my life’s gonna be cut short eventually. But it’s life, it happens to everybody eventually so I was never phased by it and they just deemed it as me being suicidal...... okay so I lied, I was suicidal but that wasn’t until after they prescribed me Zoloft because of my bipolar disorder. After they started making me take Zoloft I was in a very dark place. I wouldn’t take showers for days, I never wanted to get up, I woke up everyday not seeing the purpose in life so I never wanted to do anything....... I was at the lowest of the low and I didn’t know what to do.”

I looked over at Tendou trying to read his face but he just smiled at me almost innocently which gave me the confidence to keep talking, “okay so this went on until I graduated high school. They had me taking online courses which didn’t go too well. But guess what? It turns out that the doctors at that specific ward were giving all the patients that were showing even a minor sign of being upset Zoloft because they knew that the patient would eventually commit suicide. So the ward shut down” the disgusted look on Tendou’s face matched mine and he frowned deeply. “It took..... three years for them to get that piece of shit ward to get shut down? That’s beyond me” I just exhaled a breath and pursed my lips, “Yeah I know, but they just ended up transferring me to a different ward but I was legally an adult so they gave me a choice and well..... I have a friend, he’s actually in this ward also! He actually convinced me to stay, but not for him. It was for my own benefit, me and him have been friends since elementary school!”

Tendou had a look of shock and confusion on his face, “oh..... really? What’s his name?” I nodded my head happily and smiled widely. “Kozume Kenma!”

Ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｕｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｗｏｕｌｄ

ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｓｉｇｎ ｏｕｔ？

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Ｃｌｏｓｉｎｇ ａｌｌ ｔａｂｓ

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Ｗｅｌｃｏｍｅ Ｄｒ． Ｔｅｎｄｏｕ

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Tendou had just walked you back to your room and he was headed back to the staff room with long and fast steps, when he reached the door it swung open due to the force of him pushing against it. It slammed against the wall behind it and his friends were once again still sitting down at the table bewildered, “Tendou? What’s wrong?” He shook his head conflicted before pointing at his silver haired co-worker. “Come with me”

He led him into his office and walked up to his computer without closing the door behind him or sitting on his chair, he just pushed it out of the way. His fingers slammed against the keys rapidly, “What’s wrong now Tendou?” Semi came up behind him with a puzzled expression. Tendou just stayed quiet and kept typing on his computer, “Okay so look, Y/N said that she has a friend at this ward right? But if you look in our files, there are no results for a Kozume Kenma” Tendou mocked Y/N’s voice when he said his name, “She also mentioned that he was roomed with her. Buuuuuut if you got to the files of the first ward she was at, their files say a guy named Terashima was roomed with her”

Semi sucked a breath in before thinking silently, “We could make a call to the second ward she was transferred to and ask the big guys that work there about her” Tendou nodded deep in thought. “Yeah.... yeah that could work” it was silent as the phone line rang, Tendou tapped his fingers against his desk timidly and Semi was sitting down on the previously unoccupied rolly chair. The phone rang a few more times before a deep voice answered, and Tendou made eye contact with Semi. “Yeah this is Doctor Tendou Satori at the Shiratorizawa Psych Ward, who am I talking to?......Alright Mr. Kuroo, well I’m assigned to this woman, L/N F/N, that was recently transferred from you guys. She told me about a Kozume Kenma but there are no results of one in your files?”, Tendou hit the speaker button and the voice on the other line inhaled deeply before letting out a long sigh.

“Yeah..... there was no Kozume Kenma in our ward. But the three of us were friends growing up, Kenma actually committed suicide when we were in secondary school. That was when Y/N started showing major signs of depression and schizophrenia, she started seeing and hearing Kenma everywhere she went but when she transferred to our ward, I made sure that I was the one assigned to look after her. It seemed like she was getting better but I could tell being around me was holding her back from fully healing, so I transferred her again.” It was like Tendou and Semi were having a staring contest the entire time, Tendou’s lips were parted with a loss of words.

“Oh..... alright thank you for this new information, well have a good rest of your ni-” He was cut off by Kuroo, “Hey listen.... Tendou was it? How’s she doing? How is Y/N?” Tendou sucked air through his teeth feeling lost. “I thought it was going pretty good, but with what you just told me? It’s like I’m back at square one with her” The line was silent before a knock was heard on the other side, “Okay look, I gotta go but I’ll email you my personal number alright? We can talk more about it if you want, and maybe.... you can keep me updated on her?” He just nodded like the man was right in front of him to see.

“Sure thing, alright I’ll let you go. Have a good one” The phone clicked and Tendou sighed letting his head drop, “Semi?....... I gotta do it” he turned his head to the side to meet eyes with his friend and Semi just sighed crossing his arms. “Only if you genuinely feel like it’ll better her wellbeing”

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Boxing Day Extravaganza boop Jimmy: Okay so we know they're taking the train Jimmy: which appaz only takes like 35 mins so that's nice, not to have to entertain the kids for an age Jimmy: cos everywhere would be busy and hellish given that it's boxing day Janis: nice lil' journey, no one has time to get antsy, probably only need to do one hellish train toilet moment per child lol Jimmy: we can all get arty because Jimothy promised to keep doing the bae daily masterpieces Janis: get a table seat, love that for yous Jimmy: Cass just on her phone 🎧 being antisocial the whole time, love you gal, but the rest of us are living our best lives Jimmy: having hot chocolate and all the left over gingerbread and other festive snacks like 😁 Janis: you'll end up having an alright time in your own tween way don't worry Janis: the plethora of christmas toys that you've simply had to bring Jimmy: maybe you can have a Lisa beach friends moment Janis: that'd be cute, some kids at the arcade or something Jimmy: much more British and chill because we haven't stolen Ian's car for you to cover with 🐚s sadly Janis: I used to make friends on hols, live laugh love with whatever kids have also been dragged to Skerries lol Jimmy: I did not which tells you everything you need to know about how shy I was and how much my sister didn't want us to have other friends when we were kids Janis: gatekeeper trace so rude Janis: okay, so we're getting there, what do we wanna hit, obviously all the beachy cliches we can and also some festive ones Jimmy: gonna have a dip in the sea even though it's freezing af even if you only put your feet in lads Jimmy: the awkward moment when you think you only have a day here so you're gonna cram it all in and then be like oh Janis: don't be babies you can do it Janis: not the actual babies though, you will die Jimmy: stay with Cass even though I'm certain Libi will wanna do it Janis: she will be tryna run lmao Jimmy: soz for that Cass Jimmy: you'll be able to go off with your mates when you meet them, just give jj the chance to be competitive in the sea for a sec Jimmy: obvs gotta win something piss easy in the arcade and then lowkey bankrupt yourself trying to get the same thing for the other kid as always happened to my dad LOL Janis: hohaha yes Janis: also last time we went to an arcade you could get gross sour sweets with the tickets so the kids will be pinging Jimmy: love that Jimmy: Jimothy see how many you can fit in your mouth/eat because I would Janis: changing money into all the 2ps for the penny falls and having the cup for the money fun Jimmy: I bloody love an arcade tbh all that good stuff and beach fun and snow fun because it has to snow more for the trains to stop running since you got there okay Janis: when you realize it's coming down fast hun Janis: and I oop Jimmy: should've tried to leave as soon as the snow started but we're not because we don't wanna Jimmy: even though that phone call to Ian to tell him you aren't coming back will be lovely and put you in a great mood Janis: like you LOVE spending time with your kids ok sir Janis: everyone gonna be lowkey pissed soz weather happens lads Jimmy: we're with all our fave peeps we'll soon cheer up and live our best lives Jimmy: we definitely need there to be some board games in this caravan Jimmy: crack out the uno Janis: its not like you're without shelter and warmth, everyone will be fine, we're all buzzing lbr Janis: yes, all the board games, there'll at least be a telly to watch festive shit on Jimmy: Jimothy will make so much tea, we'll be cosy Janis: you should also eat comfort food like beans on toast ty Jimmy: make a little soft world/den for the bubs Janis: campout in the lounge 'cos you're not gonna wanna share a room alone but also don't wanna be separated so enjoy the double moment Cass Jimmy: winning her over with that Janis: at least that's an excuse if we want to message 'cos no privacy whilst they're out here snuggling Jimmy: true that's a good idea Jimmy: and won't wanna wake them by talking out loud when they're eventually asleep which would probably take forever cos buzzing Janis: my thoughts exactly, and it means we can ref a bit without literally sitting here listing every possible thing ourselves Jimmy: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jimmy: 👍? Janis: can't really accuse you of making it snow Janis: but my foot does feel in danger again 🪓💘 Jimmy: just do 🌧 me Janis: next doodle sorted Janis: get loads of likes Jimmy: blank page would an' all long as I do a #goals caption Janis: show off Janis: not much chance of me giving you #goals muse inspo in day old clothes so you'll have to rely on that clout Jimmy: LITERALLY the opposite, about the muse not my 🎨 Jimmy: and there's every chance if you don't wear any clothes, duh Janis: you still have to think up the words Janis: and 🔥 emoji usage 🙌😩 Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 😍💕or 🤤 Janis: how much chance do you reckon there is of no clothes Janis: meant to be 🥶 to death here Jimmy: depends how 🔥 you reckon I am Janis: 💯 Janis: obviously Jimmy: but I get it, any excuse for a shopping trip, girl Janis: 🤑🛍😍 Janis: you know me so well Jimmy: meant to be working tomorrow, take your chance while there's still 💰 to be after Janis: bummer Janis: it should clear soon, can't have you pining for it too hard, like Jimmy: 🥺☕💔🎻😭 Jimmy: @ my manager before he has chance to miss me Janis: *replace you Janis: 😬😶 Jimmy: 😱😱 Janis: literally who said that, omg Janis: so rude! Jimmy: brb gotta 👻 there to serve some lattes Janis: yeah, you'll need to wife it before you try and leave me with 3 kids Jimmy: weren't no 💍 in the grabbers, looks like we're going shopping after all, babe Janis: missed a trick there, honestly Janis: probably had a ring pop if we'd looked harder Jimmy: Libi'd have that right off you, mate Jimmy: don't even have to jilt you Jimmy: replaced mid-proposal Janis: true Janis: and she needs no more sugar ever again Janis: ❌ Janis: you'll have to just stay put, soz Jimmy: were gonna get you one of them mood rings but it'd give the game away by saying you weren't ALWAYS 😍 Jimmy: only need the one fan 👀 Janis: how dare you doubt my acting abilities Janis: ALWAYS on and ready for my close up Jimmy: that ain't acting it's 🔮 OBVS Janis: magic, talent Janis: all the same to me 🥇👑 Jimmy: alright bighead, go on Janis: go on what? Jimmy: always on, you said Jimmy: impress me with one of your talents Janis: here and now? Jimmy: might be on for a bit weren't what you said Janis: Libi's already seen you partially clothed once Janis: not trying to traumatize them permanently Jimmy: what you bringing me into it for? it's your talent Janis: already shown you how to juggle too Jimmy: there's nowt else? Janis: rude Janis: you made me sing to you as well, if you recall Jimmy: tah for the reminder to send that to Pete Jimmy: he's looking for a lead 🎤 so I've heard Janis: I'd literally kill you Jimmy: shouldn't have to beg you Jimmy: you know that's all I want Janis: 😤 Janis: obviously all I want it to have an ill-fated romance with Pete but you stagemomming me was not part of the dream Jimmy: you look SO cute when you're fuming Jimmy: what's your plan then? Janis: find a totally natural way to drop hints that I'm dead talented over my lattes, duh Janis: writing lyrics in a notebook, being SO cute 🤔 Jimmy: he's got a girlfriend with a normal sized head, but I think he can read so you're probably on to something there with the last bit Janis: normal? Janis: how...exciting Jimmy: you'll find a natural way to drop hints you're after a threesome an' all I'm sure Janis: sounds like a 🥈 move Janis: if I can't get her chucked what is the point Jimmy: perfect for you, that Janis: in no world am I runner-up Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: not to her, just to me Janis: you don't do co-workers, you're disqualified Jimmy: you reckon you could get her chucked but I couldn't get him sacked Janis: 😱 Janis: then comfort him, that's evil Janis: okay 💀👑 Jimmy: 😈 Jimmy: haven't seen her for ages, bit of normality for you, that Janis: me? Janis: she's your favourite customer Janis: clearly spend loads of time chatting and plotting Jimmy: that's Tammy, how dare you Jimmy: she orders loads Janis: she needs the energy for her tiktok dances Janis: don't call her fat Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I would NEVER Janis: nah, 'course not Janis: she's your bestie Jimmy: #BFF Jimmy: but that's you an' all so Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: I'm not sharing Jimmy: I'm not making you Janis: you know she'd take a bigger piece Jimmy: she'd try but you'd 🥊 her Janis: you want me to fight for you Jimmy: if she's after me, you're gonna have to protect me Janis: alright Janis: guess I don't wanna see you squashed to death Jimmy: get these bandages off first before I need another set Janis: you can go have an ice bath Janis: if you wanna Jimmy: why would I want that? Jimmy: sounds fucking horrible Janis: not because you're being too 🥵 idiot Janis: to help with the swelling Jimmy: 🙄 I got that Janis: you went in the sea Janis: you just have to sit for a bit longer Jimmy: you didn't wanna be left with 3 kids a bit ago Jimmy: make up your mind, Jeanette Janis: later then Janis: just don't scream and wake them up Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: we'll 👀 Jimmy: yeah and you won't hear nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: did it hurt less today Jimmy: [throws a cushion at her for the 😏 and to distract from having to answer that because probably hurt more if anything all the fun and games they've done today] Janis: [inadvertantly start a pillow fight here which you need to then calm back down] Janis: don't think I didn't notice Jimmy: ? Janis: you didn't answer Jimmy: you reckon I never do Janis: it speaks volumes Janis: you're alright Jimmy: there you go then Janis: if you're alright with it being inferred, yeah Jimmy: dunno about your 🤓🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm alright, leave it out Janis: fine Janis: no hot chocolate for you Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you're SO rude Janis: yep Janis: that's what you get Jimmy: but Jimmy: we're best mates Janis: maybe Janis: but Bobbys nicer to me so he's getting extra marshmallows Jimmy: it were you going on about how you were gonna be nice to me Jimmy: should've known it were bollocks Janis: you threw the first pillow, mate Jimmy: you chucked out a pisstakey 😏 before that Jimmy: weren't me who started it Janis: not my fault you're known for being well loud Jimmy: isn't it? Jimmy: I'd say it were your fault Janis: don't make me 😏 again Jimmy: alright I'll make you 😳 Janis: I'll blame the ☕s Jimmy: you want a hand? Janis: [throw a LOOK from your kitchen area] Jimmy: [come on over boy and be giving her a LOOK back the entire time obvs] Janis: [do the thing where the kitchen is too small so you're lowkey just in each other's way the whole time in a #mood of a moment like so much more of a hindrance than a help] Jimmy: [and also the thing where you kiss only to break apart as if nothing happened if anyone notices] Janis: [Bobby would be used to you having a gf about as the last one moved herself in but Libi is not so she'd be the kind of kid to be like UMMMMMMM] Jimmy: [Oh Libi you are such an icon] Janis: [just like why you kissing are you boyfriend and girlfriend, Janis like shh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy's turn to be 😏 irl] Janis: [when you can't be like NO 'cos how confusing for the kids but you're like not gonna confess my love gal, hush, Libi is so gonna try and smooch Bobby watch out boy] Jimmy: [so here for that adorableness tbh] Janis: [when lil kids are like this is my boyfriend lmao] Janis: you've been replaced now Janis: how does it feel 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭😭😭 Janis: that's what you get Janis: dumping me mid proposal Jimmy: you keep saying that Jimmy: but from here I ain't proposed yet Janis: don't let on Janis: she'll be raging Jimmy: I'll take her with me tomorrow when I go pick the 💍 Jimmy: get her back on side Janis: got a plan for everything, you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: wait until its later in the year and I'm jonesing for more 🎁 again Jimmy: no need, you can have owt you want whenever you want it Jimmy: there's the plan, like Janis: well goals 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if nothing else Janis: plenty of 🌨 to play with tomorrow Jimmy: I do take requests Jimmy: have a 💭 what ⛄ you want Janis: well you are pretty skilled Janis: have to think of something challenging Jimmy: you've got all night Janis: if they ever go to sleep Jimmy: you'll have to read them a long boring story Janis: ❌ voices ❌ personal cameos for you kids Jimmy: get Bill's 👻 in Jimmy: owt of his'll get the job done Janis: 😱😱 so true but you didn't have to go there, babe Jimmy: he can't be fuming that I want you to stay with me, it's his whole brand Janis: 🤞 he don't get too carried away with your 💀 scene now or they'll be having nightmares and then there'll be no time for ⛄ Jimmy: they'll be able to hack it Janis: hack you up into lots of pieces Jimmy: don't matter about me, long as no 🐕s are 💀💀💀 Janis: if nothing he knows his audience Jimmy: I get it, you wanna marry him Janis: pretty sure he's married Janis: bet he's got more than 3 kids as well Jimmy: and what you're gonna let that stop you? doubt that Janis: rude Janis: breaking up Pete and his groupie is one thing Janis: homewrecking is another Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're 👌 at me now Jimmy: I just did do Jimmy: you'll be chuffed to know I had a look and he has got 3 kids Jimmy: one of them was a twin called Judith, so you might be his daughter Janis: like he had twins or one survived Janis: I'll take being the 💀 one if that's the option Jimmy: the dead one was a lad Janis: ugh Janis: great Janis: more lesbian jokes Jimmy: we've 💀💀💀 them, you're alright Janis: had no idea Judith was such an old name Jimmy: can't say I ain't taught you owt 🤓 Jimmy: know my audience an' all Janis: can't help yourself 🤓 Janis: I reckon Jimmy: you can't help nerd flirting with me, more like Jimmy: about to crack the chess set out, you Janis: chequers, maybe Jimmy: dunno never played Janis: just chess for thick people Janis: less 🤔🤓 more 🥴🤯 Jimmy: still too northern 💔 what were I gonna do make the bits out of 🥔 Janis: don't reckon we've got it in so you're safe Jimmy: what do you wanna do instead? Janis: that's the question Jimmy: answer it then Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: it's not obvious? Jimmy: might be but it should be just as obvious that I wanna hear it Janis: how badly I want some alone time with you just increased Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: worth a go Jimmy: [do your best to try and escape lads] Janis: [probably enough into our hot chocolate/festive film to give you a few minutes here] Jimmy: [take your chance and leg it] Janis: [lord knows you need the moment Jimmy: [it's deserved you didn't know you'd still be here with all these kids and no privacy whatsoever] Janis: [what a time, at least you don't have to go home and separate 'cos heaven forbid] Jimmy: [that would suck, the time between boxing day and nye is weird enough if you like your fam and aren't a highkey teen in love so] Janis: [hence 'I missed you' like you've not spent forever together at this point and barely been apart] Jimmy: [hence the most genuine smile ever like an adorable nerd because whatever he was expecting her to say was not that but we're here for it] Janis: [when you go to nudge him like shut up but it's more of a feelsy lean and we all know it 'sorry about missing work' 'cos we feel bad even if there's fuck all we can or could do about it] Jimmy: [always gotta give that feelsy lean back regardless of how much it hurts us which gets him thinking about how much work would suck being this injured so we're 😒 which makes it seem like we're really annoyed about missing work even though we know he'd rather be here, hence the shrug he does when he snaps out of said thoughts 'you're my fave job any road, said it before' stop calling her a job sir even if you said that in a more feelsy tone than the words suggest] Janis: ['charming as the first time' and a 🙄 we're probably playing off as more jokey than it is] Jimmy: ['nowt I'd wanna be doing more than pissing about here with you, what could be more charming than that?' maybe if you'd said that in the first place boy instead of calling her a job again] Janis: ['I'm against serving coffee to ungrateful dickheads, it's not much to brag about, like' but a shrug and 😏 'cos we're not fuming over it] Jimmy: ['loads else you could if you wanted to' just telling her she's 🥇 basically there 'but I'll do it if not' casual hypeman is how that sounds but we're just 😍] Jimmy: [when I was asleep a little list of things he likes about her/she could brag about came to me so I'll try and recreate it from memory for us now, first he was obvious and just wrote fit on her arm or wherever but then did a camera and painting mime to emphasise that and tell her she was a good muse before adding mysterious where he wrote fit but then it started getting cute cos he drew little vampire teeth in the air above her smile and a sun on her face which he added the 😁 grin to obvs and then because we were in that general area he wrote nerd in caps on her neck across the biggest lovebite because not only is she such a one but to include nerd flirting then we moved to her throat and he did 🗨 because he likes talking to her and added a 🎵 inside because she's genuinely a good singer then wrote fun before adding the ny as well cos she's also a laugh then he went down to where her abs are and wrote athlete also in caps because DUH and finally on her ribs did the ✔ again because she's been taking care of him and is so kind and nice etc and while he was there got carried away just drawing an elaborate and massive rose for all the love and feels we can't currently express] Jimmy: [there might have been others I'm forgetting but those were definitely the main ones] Janis: [I'm dying boo, we're going to have to be physical because if we aren't speechless then things will be said but it's going to be the most intense and loving ever so we know] Jimmy: [not letting that be interrupted, soz children fend for yourselves for a minute please] Janis: [it's not like we've gone far, you're fine and we need this so we don't die] Jimmy: [my half asleep day dream has killed us all I am soz] Janis: [we're not soz at all, y'all living your best life] Jimmy: [the feels have never been higher] Janis: [are gonna have to force you back in eventually] Jimmy: [if only so y'all don't declare your love in words as well] Janis: [smack on that window children because it's too damn soon hush] Jimmy: [Libi 👀 to see if you're kissing] Janis: [she's gonna tell everyone lmao, tiniest shipper] Jimmy: [I love her with my whole heart] Janis: [mcvickers getting that lowdown they did not ask for when we're back, accidental snitching, at least we're being good-ish lmao] Jimmy: [Fearghal gonna be so amused, Tess will not LOL but yeah you've taken good care of this bub so you win points for that lads] Janis: [can't say fairer than that] Jimmy: [gonna be so heartbreaking when you're not allowed to stay there and see Libi, I could cry] Janis: [we have to make things go so downhill in a sec in a lot of ways, sad times] Jimmy: [winnie will love the drama, but for now go inside and try and get these kids to fall asleep] Janis: [threaten them with separation if they don't start to chill, that'll work] Jimmy: [try not to lol at how horrified they are at the prospect] Janis: 😱💔💀 Jimmy: #relatable for you, that Janis: you wish Jimmy: 🎂 Jimmy: ain't even Jesus' birthday no more Jimmy: can't piggyback off that Janis: sound like a right parent Janis: over before it's even started Jimmy: none of the fans know when mine is, might just have it so you have to get me more 🎁🎁🎁 Janis: that's not fair Janis: you'll get whatevers left in the grabber and that'll be that Janis: you'll have to pretend you won it for me and all or it's not very #goals Jimmy: told you loads of times I don't play fair, Jules 🏆 and that's that Jimmy: spoil me on my fake birthday or you ain't very #goals Janis: well used to bdays not being fair 🎻🎻 Janis: 15 years too late for that to sting Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock you up your own 🎂 Jimmy: [genuinely goes to make her a mug cake in secret, look away children there's none for you bye] Janis: such a 🤓 Janis: [like we're not 😍] Jimmy: So you don't want it? Alright Jimmy: [we know she do] Janis: never said that Janis: [grabby hands like gimme] Jimmy: [🤫 which he always looks hot doing like okay cover me so you don't have to share this with the children] Janis: [🤐 like I got this] Jimmy: [cleaning the kitchen but also sneaky doing this and when it's done gesturing for her to come here so they can swap places and she can sneakily eat it, just know he has 1000% put a little candle it in and lit it with the best lighter ever because every mum has a drawer of shit like that it's simply facts] Janis: [obviously taking a picture of this] Janis: why are you Jimmy: 'cause you're Jimmy: and I just Janis: you're Janis: too nice Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: to me Jimmy: I'm as nice as I wanna be to you Janis: I ain't earnt it Jimmy: when have I said that? Janis: you haven't but it's still true Jimmy: up to me is what it is Janis: you hand out the 🏆 Jimmy: take yours Jimmy: you've been nice to me for ages Jimmy: what were it I said the other day, you'd be telling me to piss off by the end of this one Jimmy: worth a 🏆 that you've not Janis: just in it for the cake Janis: obviously Jimmy: you've done alright then Janis: it's not hard Janis: being nice to you Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say to make a cake Janis: [irl 😏 from the kitchen trying not to lol] Jimmy: didn't know I were fake dating a dickhead like Paul Hollywood Janis: again, you wish Jimmy: no denying that 👴💕 Jimmy: but I'll have to make do with a  🤝 off you for now Janis: [obviously come back over and do said handshake like a nerd and like it's not dangerous to be anywhere near each other rn] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna run his thumb across her lip whether there's any chocolate there or not because the mood we're in and we can pretend it's because it's so secret like can't let the children see the evidence] Janis: [thank god for the solid excuse to snuggle like we're going sleep now come on] Jimmy: [just 👀 at these kids all the damn time like are you asleep yet] Janis: [finally] Janis: I think she's asleep Janis: he's 50/50 Jimmy: [chucks something at him, softly obvs] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that was a risk Jimmy: [😏 because we love a risk like that] Jimmy: didn't reckon on you as 🙀🙀 Janis: you reckoned right then Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't get carried away Janis: I'm the one that's not scared Jimmy: prove it Janis: [a look that's half well how would you like me to do that and half, I'm thinkin'] Jimmy: [just a LOOK like] Janis: [I like to think you two are at least in the middle 'cos Libi and Bobby wouldn't stop chatting so you had to make a human barrier lol, so that makes it less hard to kiss him now and give him a new quick love bite but also harder to just stop there] Jimmy: [you know you're getting one back for literally no reason whatsoever gal] Janis: [casually trying have a makeout sesh in total silence rn] Jimmy: [we know how impossible that is for either of you so good luck] Janis: [gonna have to stop and pretend you're just being like, see, not scared] Jimmy: [gonna have to go for that ice bath for all the reasons now boy lol] Janis: they're definitely asleep Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I would've woke up Jimmy: you don't sleep 🧛 Janis: you want me to? Janis: [turning our back like night then] Jimmy: [you know we're rolling you back to face us girl even if it hurts us because have to be hot about everything] Janis: [a noise we're 🤞 just sounds like a sleepy sound 'cos there was no helping it] Jimmy: [kiss her so you don't make any of your own thank you sir, don't need to tempt fate and risk waking these kids up that soon] Janis: [can't even go to another room really 'cos doubt Cass is asleep] Jimmy: [she definitely isn't, soz lads for this struggle] Janis: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I did but now it's in writing I've gotta do something about it Janis: 👻 rules or? Jimmy: the only 👻 rule is no touching, don't reckon that'll sort it Janis: remind me why we invited them Jimmy: Ian's a twat, that were mostly it Janis: right Janis: that sounds about right Jimmy: least the 🐕's not here an' all Janis: 🌦 Jimmy: give us a bit more ☀ Janis: that's me and you though Jimmy: what kind of dickhead am I pushing in front of you like that? SO rude Janis: I'm so shy Janis: understated, honestly Jimmy: [when you're trying to stop yourself from loling] Janis: [fake punch him like oi] Janis: about to call you chivalrous but you can forget it now Jimmy: soz you can't have the 🙊 it's a bit too risky for me to use Janis: such an idiot Janis: why'd I invite you again Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: @ me when you've worked it out Janis: you're too busy to show me? Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: too something though Jimmy: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: you needed an ice bath anyway Janis: see how far we get without freezing? Janis: [getting up carefully to find 🚬s or a lighter like ?] Jimmy: [doing a help me up style gesture] Janis: [do, do not drop him now and do a throwback by kissing him against the door as you go out] Jimmy: [we love a throwback in this house honey] Janis: [thank god for cigarette breaks even though it will be very cold, we're extra] Jimmy: [your extraness will help keep you warm] Jimmy: [literally reminds me of when Baze had just got together and went on a caravan hol with the fam] Janis: [yes, very that energy, the sneaking is less high stakes but still] Jimmy: [you can go in harder than they could out there because less likely to be caught and less of a problem if you are so you're welcome for that] Janis: [literally we just don't want to wake the kids and make them cranky or cringe Cass out so you're fine lads, go nuts, who is at this caravan park in December, barely anyone] Jimmy: [fill your boots, you're very in love rn] Janis: [lowkey something is gonna get said during we're gonna have to pretend we do not hear lmao] Jimmy: [walking such a tightrope at all times, god bless] Janis: [go pretend to sleep lol] Jimmy: [the amount of things he would have to stop himself from saying when they are, you hush your mouth I swear down] Janis: [hence you ain't allowed, commit to this act please and ty, no more chit chatting] Jimmy: [he's not even allowed to say her name at this point so literally shhhhhh] Janis: [made that rod for your back boo lmao] Jimmy: [no regrets, it will HIT when he does] Jimmy: [you know he's not asleep though cos you know he can't get comfortable thanks for that Ian you dick] Janis: you should go get in a bed to yourself Janis: if he wakes up, I can tell him where you are Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: alright Jimmy: [just being fussy though so clearly isn't] Janis: you're never going to be able to sleep though Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you're keeping me awake Jimmy: it's you 🗨 Janis: you're 😫😤 Jimmy: but not 😭😭 Janis: I can still hear you Janis: and you keep moving about because you can't get comfortable Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: go get comfortable and I'll keep an eye on them both, that's nice Jimmy: how's chucking me out nice? Janis: for the aforementioned reasons Jimmy: for you that I won't be doing your head in Janis: no, so you aren't in as much fucking pain, idiot Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [angrily stomp off for a wee hen] Jimmy: [do your own to that 🛏 when she gets back] Janis: [oh the drama] Janis: thanks Jimmy: there's nowt to stop you 😴 Jimmy: crack on Janis: hardly Janis: there's two small, wriggly children Janis: don't need to be moody about it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: don't need to go on at me now you've got what you want Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: or 🙄 at me either Janis: alright, shut up then Jimmy: you Janis: it's not my fault Jimmy: never said it were Janis: then stop taking it out on me Janis: do something about it that's actually gonna help you feel better Jimmy: I've not, I've said nowt about it Jimmy: you're the one who can't leave it out Janis: you're in a mood Jimmy: not with you, dickhead Janis: I know that Jimmy: 💭 what it were like when you fucked your ankle up Jimmy: this actually were my own fault Janis: no it ain't Janis: and I'm meant to just ignore it then, alright Janis: won't be doing that, sorry Jimmy: Bollocks, you can't go about being a massive dickhead and expect no pushback Jimmy: but it weren't this bad before Janis: it's too far Janis: you could literally be in hospital and it wouldn't be an overreaction Janis: there's no call for that Jimmy: it ain't you who decides where the line is Jimmy: or where I'll end up Janis: it's a pretty widely agreed upon line Janis: he could ask garda if he wanted to do something about you taking the car Jimmy: we've been mates for a minute, what do you know? Janis: that doesn't have nothing to do with being able to tell he took it too far this time Jimmy: you don't know fuck all about me or what he has or hasn't done Janis: I've seen the state of you, for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not saying shit about previous or implying that it means anything but you can barely breathe right now Jimmy: the state of me is right, what bit of this has owt to do with you? Janis: I'm not going to piss about with you doing stupid shit if you aren't handling your actual Janis: that's what Jimmy: piss off Janis: you Jimmy: who the fuck are you giving me ifs and buts Jimmy: you piss about with me whenever it suits you Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [hear that door go] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'll be back when I need to be Jimmy: for all you know you've woke every dickhead up and that's now Jimmy: but alright, keep giving it out like you're so bothered about the state of me and the bollocks I can't do while you leave me here on my own Jimmy: not fake at all Janis: I know it ain't Janis: and if you're gonna leave a 4 year old kid to freak out that'd be on you Janis: I don't have to stay and listen to you, who the fuck are you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I didn't slam the door, they're asleep Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: forget I said owt Jimmy: top reaction Janis: yeah 'cos you've got fuck all room to talk Janis: be better for you if I did Jimmy: I don't wanna do this Jimmy: talk about it Jimmy: have to fucking handle it or whatever it were that you said Janis: then don't talk about it Janis: it's the bare fucking minimum to not expect me to ignore that you're in pain Jimmy: and what, you think I don't know that? Jimmy: that I wouldn't do a better job of this if I could Janis: apparently, I've got no right so Jimmy: you shouldn't have to hack this an' all Janis: I don't Janis: all I was doing was saying go sleep on a proper bed Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: weird Janis: how is it Jimmy: I said I dunno Jimmy: it's been ages since anyone bothered to say owt worth listening to like that Janis: well Janis: why fuck yourself up more Janis: that's it, it's no deeper than that Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: that's been the question up to now Janis: if you're gonna self-harm Janis: don't do it in front of me Jimmy: you get to hold the 🔪 my dear, and when you do it'll be a pisstake if you don't go harder than that Janis: I'm not playing right now Jimmy: nor me Jimmy: what I meant were, it don't matter to me what happens to me if it only happens to me Jimmy: very catholic of me, I know Janis: i'm not interested in having no more blood on my hands Jimmy: not bleeding out as of now Jimmy: you're welcome to piss off again if I ever am Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: what kind of answer is that? Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: and what kind of question is that an' all? Janis: I'm not in the mood Janis: to talk to you or do this Janis: I'll be back to do my share and then we'll go back as soon as we can Jimmy: just come back now Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I'm fine Jimmy: I won't be if I have to piss about looking for you Janis: don't Janis: I know where I am, it's not your concern Jimmy: don't make me Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: is right Jimmy: come back and ignore me from here Janis: don't tell me what to do Janis: I'll come back when I'm ready Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: then I won't have to Janis: how far do you reckon I've got in this time Janis: I'm basically outside Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: might've 🏃 anywhere Janis: it's snowing Janis: in case you'd forgotten Jimmy: that'll be why I want you to come inside Jimmy: tah for recognising it Janis: don't come near me then Jimmy: alright Janis: [show up a few minutes later] Jimmy: [we do be giving her space like she requested thankfully but we have made her a tea because it's our love language and it is cold af out there no lie] Janis: [act like you're not gonna take it for as long as you can but clearly do] Jimmy: [go to your bed sir and give it a while before you come at her again] Jimmy: What did you mean? Janis: about what? Jimmy: you said you don't wanna do this, which bit? Janis: I was talking about tonight Janis: not permanent plans Jimmy: weren't how it sounded Jimmy: you had a plan and it were to piss off back there as soon as Janis: both gotta work Janis: both got kids that don't belong to us Janis: just the obvious next step, really Jimmy: if you wanna pretend that's why, go on, obviously Janis: I'm not pretending shit Jimmy: you don't have to be a massive dickhead to keep it going just 'cause I already were Janis: obviously I don't want to spend no more time with you too Janis: why would I Jimmy: no idea Janis: there you go then Jimmy: alright then Janis: she'll be gutted Jimmy: ? Janis: Libi Jimmy: already spent ages longer here than we were going to Janis: true Jimmy: and she don't need to know that you're #overit and me Janis: makes playdates a bit awkward Jimmy: what's a bit more faking? nowt we haven't done before Janis: right Jimmy: she's less thick than most of our audience but still only a kid Janis: no need to break them up Jimmy: agreed Janis: sorted Jimmy: ✔ Janis: anything else we need to? Jimmy: like what? Janis: dunno Janis: why I asked Jimmy: it's your question, weren't me who asked it Janis: I don't ask questions I know the answer to Janis: as a rule Jimmy: if you had something in mind, say it Janis: there's loads of shit Janis: potentially Janis: mainly how we're finishing this if we are Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: it's you who wants to Janis: no it isn't Jimmy: weren't me who said I wanna go back or that I dunno why you're worth spending time with Janis: like you've not said shit tonight Janis: and neither of those is saying I want to finish it, anyway Jimmy: what else does not wanting to spend any more time with someone mean? Janis: we've been mates for what, a minute? Janis: we were doing it before then Jimmy: so you just don't wanna be mates? Janis: not worked out so great thus far Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it were going alright Jimmy: you don't need to chuck it all Jimmy: not for something that weren't about you Janis: you bighead is really showing Jimmy: how is it? Janis: 'chuck it all' Janis: I was fine before you came about, tah Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: how you say shit matters Jimmy: how I say loads of bollocks Jimmy: you get most of it Janis: I'm dickhead lingual, I guess Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: for what I said when I was in pain, that load of bollocks Janis: if you never phrase it like that again Janis: alright Janis: forget about it Jimmy: deliberately will ALWAYS phrase it like that now, each time Janis: if you could not make a habit of it, be appreciated Jimmy: being a MASSIVE dickhead? bit late for that Janis: I can handle that Janis: taking shit back that you've said Janis: leave off that Jimmy: not a habit I want Jimmy: only fancy the ones that'll 💀💀💀 me which that ain't gonna if it makes you piss off out of it Janis: a deal then? Janis: deal back on, actually Jimmy: if we shake on it Janis: okay Janis: come out then Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: meant to take your advice and stay put like a good lad here 🛏 me Janis: you're awkward how and when it suits you Janis: [but does, obviously] Jimmy: [will shake your hand and pull you into a hug gal] Janis: [the most dramatic hug, definitely forgetting to be careful here soz] Jimmy: [not caring that much because we care more about the bae knowing how soz we are and how many feels we have] Janis: [likewise, the tension got too much and went wrong, as it does, and we're #shooketh] Jimmy: [straight up asking her to stay for a bit because we're in our emotions so we're just saying what we wanna say without thinking about it] Janis: [just nodding 'cos that's all we can do] Jimmy: [making room for her as if this isn't a single bed lol] Janis: [at least you'll remember to be careful again and not hug him so hard, but then you're like oh, 'cos don't want to make it a Thing™ again so 'sorry, if you think I was making it all about me'] Jimmy: [a noise like no that is not what we think because 1. the strength of how much we don't think that 2. what are words and just hugging her for the emphasis] Janis: [shrugs like it's okay but we're not gonna keep going like we don't believe him even if we lowkey don't] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ! 'I think it's more of a headfuck than you signed up for, nowt else'] Janis: [just looking like how do I even explain that that's not your fault and literally the last thing either of us should be concerned about because it does not matter, just shaking our head like nah] Jimmy: [playing with her hair cos it would've had snow on it recently because there is too much we wanna say about our feels and so much we feel like we can't say about our family situation] Janis: ['I CAN handle it' like trust me] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like same even though you lowkey can't] Janis: [soft kiss] Jimmy: [you can have some little kisses too gal like my boo loves] Janis: [just being the most soft] Jimmy: [you gotta] Janis: ['we're alright, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod because the emotions are still too high rn and I'm not letting you say shit thank you] Janis: [sigh of relief] Jimmy: [hugging you again cos we don't want you to leave] Janis: [you can stay here lads, the bubs will be alright and you'll hear if they ain't] Jimmy: [snuggle it's what you both need] Janis: [let 'em be for a hot sec] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [what shall we do in the AM?] Jimmy: [make breakfast together for these bubs obvs because all the domestic bliss needed] Janis: [might have to trek to the shop to get supplies, that'll be an adventure] Jimmy: [maybe you can make them some kind of sledge because you're both crafty art hoes] Janis: [I bet there's some kind of tings in a caravan that would work, cannot think what exactly but we know the vibes, get creative] Jimmy: [I wouldn't have the first clue but you two would figure it out and you can get Cass to help she'd be into that] Janis: [as well as snowball fight and snowman making competition, which are 2 points we wanted to hit too] Jimmy: [love that and you can also make snow dogs for these bubs] Jimmy: [the question is should we let them have another night here before we send them back or is that too dangerous] Janis: [I think we should for the danger of it/to prove we can lol] Jimmy: [I'm down, just don't have another argument please] Janis: [hohaha, be good] Jimmy: [I have faith in you] Janis: [the only thing I've said you've done is baking/crafts so apart from that enjoy your snow/beach funtimes, you should also get chips for dinner, obvs] Jimmy: [yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else they should do] Janis: [there's potential the kids have said more? because this is a whole long weekend and they don't know/care not to so, that's potentially something we need to know] Jimmy: [oh that's a good idea, is there any tea you want spilled] Janis: [hmm, she'd probably just KEEP talking about her parents like all the things she's been told about Edie specifically, so all that tea, just more than we've got out so far] Jimmy: [likewise can picture Bobby really driving home the point that he doesn't have a mum and like what he remembers about her being basically nothing so it'd be obvious they haven't seen her for ages not just since they moved] Janis: [poor babs, just bonding and JJ are here like and I OOP] Jimmy: [I hope Cass isn't around when you're spilling that tea bub cos she will be fuming] Janis: [that is potentially a thing unless he knows better by now lol] Jimmy: [this boy living his best life with his new bff deal with it Cass] Janis: [soz hen, you'll be hanging with your new mates as much as you can so we're probably fine] Jimmy: [getting all that arcade swag] Janis: [love that we're pretending we don't hear any of this clear drama lmao ly babes] Jimmy: [poor Jimothy having to just sign all this back and forth like] Janis: [I do think for a bit Libi would keep shouting like he'll hear her eventually 'cos she's only little so that'll be amusing/a time just screeching everything lowkey] Jimmy: [that's really pure babe I do stan you] Janis: [people like that's a loud child lollollol] Jimmy: [I hope you're not still shouting when you go home hun, hilarious as that would be] Janis: [mcvickers like lawd, she'll be showing them how to sign what she's learnt like just in case bobby comes round] Jimmy: [which he definitely will at some point, all the playdates forever] Janis: [fully gonna just try and take herself to Jimmy's all the time like no gal] Jimmy: [shows up at his door because they literally live that close to each other everyone like !!!???] Janis: [troublemaker baby] Jimmy: [do so love the edition of her to this lil family unit JJ are making here though, she really does add to it] Janis: [agreed, it's very cute, she'd probably have told him about how Astrid is technically her auntie but like a year younger 'cos that's wild to kids, so gonna get a sense of how messy this fam is lol] Jimmy: [and she doesn't talk either so Libi would be used to having to find ways to communicate with her too even though we know Ro be pretending there's no issue rn] Janis: [exactly dr phil, we all been knew and trying to work around it apart from ro lmao, just giving a lowdown on every auntie she has which would be amusing and probably a lowkey drag for some of y'all ladies, we know Janis and Billie are her faves] Jimmy: [I can wholeheartedly support those faves gal, Billie would always be doing the most for her and Astrid, fuck you Ro you dusty bitch, Bobby would love all this cos they lowkey have no fam] Janis: [take 'em for rides on your fancy wheelz, they'd love that, just like you can come meet them when we get back like okay JJ, all this is happening regardless, soz] Jimmy: [if she was here you'd have a bomb sledge hens she's probably built Libi and Astrid all kinds of things, Bobby will love all of Ali's animals and shit she has too, casual farm moment] Janis: [probably telling you every cats name too, poor Jimothy is gonna need a break lol] Jimmy: [unrelated but related do you think Ali would have space for any horses because I have all that Cass horse content] Janis: [I think it makes sense, I too have some gay horse content, like it wouldn't be a working farm but I think she'd have various farmyard animals just for the household] Jimmy: [yeah it made sense to me too, like your auntie vibes] Janis: [mhmm, and it could've been just land when we inherited it but she's swagged it up now she has more time/the kids aren't bubs etc] Jimmy: [Bobby just asking if they can have a kitten, Jimothy like NO] Janis: [I'm cackling, 'cos Libi like YEAH] Jimmy: [just like okay can we have a chicken/pony/donkey whatever else creatures there are, Jimothy like lawd] Janis: [just shoving the whole barn into your rental home, god bless you tiny fools] Jimmy: [and then Bobby obvs wants to phone Twix and Jimothy is just trying to distract him because we don't wanna phone Ian and he won't play along with this thank you] Janis: [distract y'all with an activity fast] Jimmy: [they could make dog treats, it's not very difficult] Janis: ]that's a good idea boo] Jimmy: [casual gift to these pups] Janis: [they'll enjoy that, kids and dogs, also can have a tea party for the toy pups lol] Jimmy: [so CUTE gonna say that Jimothy draws you a little comic strip or something about these pups kids] Jimmy: [I don't know what daily doodle you're getting today Janis, but something loved up for sure] Janis: [frankly, we're all living today hun] Jimmy: [do you wanna do this night like we did the one before with them chatting again or are we just saying it's a chill loved up vibe?] Janis: [hmm hmm hmm, let's do it, maybe we can be cute] Jimmy: [you start it then gal cos I did before] Janis: [on it sonic] Janis: 🥇🏆💪 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: come on, we bossed it Jimmy: no need to sound surprised Jimmy: just that kind of team Janis: not going to disagree Janis: 🤐 'til they 😴 aside Jimmy: don't wanna fight with you either, you're alright Janis: really? Janis: 🍀 night Jimmy: unless you desperately wanna 🥊 with me, obvs Jimmy: can't turn you down then Janis: I'm gutted, obviously Janis: but I think I'll survive Jimmy: good Jimmy: 💀💀💀 ain't happening til they're 😴 either Janis: that's a promise? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you want me to break it or keep it? Jimmy: 'cause they might not be asleep for ages Janis: 😒 Janis: should've laced the hot chocolates, you're right Jimmy: we'll have to go properly on the run if either of them 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'm in Janis: knew you would be Janis: you can break your promise then Jimmy: round 2 ☕ coming up Janis: 😏 Janis: warn me next time you plan on being so 😍 yeah Jimmy: be loads of warnings Jimmy: never shut me up Janis: just say you aren't up to it, babe Janis: 😶 Jimmy: Why would I lie to you, girl? Janis: well you don't need to shut up on my account Jimmy: I get it, you need 🔊 Janis: needs a big word Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't you think? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I know what I want Janis: you'll have to convince me on need Jimmy: alright Janis: not mad about it if you aren't Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Janis: it's been a pretty knackering day being the 😎 brother and translator Jimmy: *standard Jimmy: nowt if not used to all that Janis: alright, show-off Janis: you're 🥇 we get it Jimmy: you've done alright an' all, don't be 💔 Janis: don't worry Janis: not a title I'm after, I know I'm not that good Jimmy: how do you? Janis: I don't do half as much with Libi Janis: or for her Jimmy: she still reckons you're 🥇 I had to translate her going on and on about it Janis: don't act like it was a chore 😘 Jimmy: you just said it were Jimmy: make up your mind, Jules Janis: no I never Jimmy: knackering, I think it were Janis: that's looking after this lot Janis: not hyping me up Janis: that's a privilege, DUH Jimmy: so funny, you Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Jimmy: you wanted a compliment Janis: say it like you mean it, boy Jimmy: [writes it on her how he did the other day] Janis: [try not to lol 'cos we know you ticklish and 😳] Jimmy: [go over it again like look how much I mean this, soz gal] Janis: [just wriggling away like staph] Janis: you're such a pisstake Jimmy: what, you still don't believe me? Janis: I believe you Janis: don't tickle me again or I will have to get you back Janis: been warned Jimmy: [obviously does by writing how? as in how will you get me back?] Janis: ['scuse us for our lols children, I hope you're sleepy enough that this doesn't devolve into an entire group tickle fight lmao] Janis: [but the LOOK will speak for us regardless] Jimmy: [always gonna give you a LOOK back] Janis: [smile at him too, like we can't even help it] Jimmy: [of course you're getting one back too because that kind of thing is infectious but also 😍 because her smile is always cute] Janis: you're fit Jimmy: you Janis: you x2 Jimmy: you 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're being very giving with the 🏆s lately Jimmy: and what? Janis: maybe I think I should do more to earn 'em Jimmy: I might reckon you have Janis: I can do better Jimmy: go on then Janis: wait Jimmy: but Janis: blame them Janis: [pisstakey evils at the children] Jimmy: [just mime killing them in all the ways boy] Janis: when we get back Janis: you'll give me some alone time before you go Jimmy: that a question or an order? Janis: a ? would be polite, I guess Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: cheek Jimmy: I'll give you owt you want, since you asked Janis: *nicely Jimmy: you could do better Janis: ['please' in his ear 'cos deserved after the tickling] Jimmy: [bite your lip please sir because we all know that affected you very much but the children don't need to] Janis: [pleased with ourselves dot com] Janis: better? Jimmy: it'll do for now Janis: gutted they're too young to leave in the arcade as well Jimmy: or chuck out in the snow Janis: it is melting a bit Janis: can go back tomorrow Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not saying it to 💔 now Jimmy: 🤞 I ain't gonna start 😭😭 now Janis: you'd never Janis: too 😎 Jimmy: too northern Janis: same Jimmy: SO much in common, us Janis: Does that mean we ain't star-crossed enough? 😱 Jimmy: it'll mean the #haters have to work harder at it Jimmy: Bill's gonna be chuffed to bits with that Janis: true enough Janis: if you're still here when school starts, Lucas is ready and waiting Jimmy: do you reckon he got any new ties for christmas? Janis: from who? the ex Janis: unlikely, that bitch Jimmy: 🎅 DUH Jimmy: bound to be best mates Jimmy: both into having kids on their laps Janis: ugh Janis: 🎅 gonna have snitched about us Jimmy: be about right Jimmy: fucking dickhead Janis: 💔 Janis: no presents no more lift offers Jimmy: only the full orchestra following you round Jimmy: poor baby Janis: tell me about it Janis: gonna be depressing as fuck Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: you're my ☀ Janis: 🔫 the 🥁 for me Jimmy: what? Janis: don't orchestras have drummers? Janis: 🎹🎻 then Jimmy: bit weird that you went right for him 🎯 Janis: so #notlikeothergirls of me Jimmy: not knowing if he exists Jimmy: might be a copout of you Janis: just meant he ain't the lead singer but yeah Janis: ask Pete Jimmy: can't be, that's you Janis: well I am my own favourite person but no need to spread that about Jimmy: can't do that either, your fav's meant to be me Janis: hang on Janis: I'll post something to that effect Janis: [do] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [have a little socials flirting sesh to further ramp up the tension that's always there] Janis: [you're always about that kids] Jimmy: ☕? Janis: if you mean tea Janis: I'll 🤮 if I have another hot chocolate Janis: and the gals aren't here to impress Jimmy: 🐕🍪? Janis: fuck off 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [just checking him out whilst he makes tea so casually] Jimmy: [will do the lingering touch when he gives it to her cos we're in a rom com] Janis: I get it, you miss work SO much Jimmy: nowt to do with missing you Janis: don't be silly Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: insensitive to suggest we deafen her too? 🤷 Jimmy: she has done every other dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: only fair Jimmy: [mime some ways you can deafen this poor bub] Janis: [trying not to IRL 😂] Jimmy: [trying not to be 😍 af because she's the cutest] Janis: face'll get stuck like that Jimmy: already stuck as 😒 Janis: exactly Janis: don't ruin it Jimmy: know how much you're into 🥺 though Jimmy: [does it] Janis: [pinching his bottom lip between her finger and thumb like she's so 😒🙄 but there's no hiding the truth hen] Jimmy: [once again running his thumb across her bottom lip because we don't need a reason] Janis: [holding his hand but squeezing it first 'cos must] Jimmy: [drawing a ! on her hand because we get it] Janis: you're Jimmy: [drawing a really slow ? as we give her a LOOK] Janis: [shaking our head, like I can't] Jimmy: [draw a 🗨 like tell me] Janis: all things considered Janis: this has been alright Jimmy: yeah Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: [looking away 'cos we're so overwhelmed and 🥰] Jimmy: [kiss her because likewise] Janis: [don't hate children] Jimmy: [we know you ship it] Janis: [reminds me, Libi probably saying something so embarrassing about 'when they get married' like gal shut up but never do] Jimmy: [about to sob because they will and you can be a bridesmaid gal even though you'll be a teen by then] Janis: [so nice, 'cos Edie wouldn't have been old enough for a proper one which is sad, at least she'd start going on about hers and Bobby's so y'all don't need to feel too awks lol] Jimmy: [break my heart boo cos yeah they would've been engaged but she was but a child still so no actual wedding for y'all] Janis: [she was only 16 for like 2 months so even if Ali had agreed] Janis: [omg hang on] Janis: [what if she did 'cos like, end of the day, make your own mistakes etc and who is she to say no 'cos Cali lmao but technically Drew could be considered to have 'parental responsibility' if he's been paying which let's say he has, it seems wishy-washy but if he was like NO, 'cos just show up to do the least last minute is such a vibe for him, I think it'd count 'cos you need both parents if you have 2] Jimmy: [I love that and we must because it was like OG Cali vibes to have an underage teen wedding moment] Janis: [like so sorry do not need to be creating drama last minute in your life but also it makes sense, because as much as it's like who tf are you, it'd be conflicting because she's only wanted a dad and for him to care this whole time so] Jimmy: [soz not soz about how happy this makes me and Libi will have that wedding video to go with all the others she has] Janis: [it just makes sense that they'd try, obviously, that Ali would say yes even if she's got the reservations she has, so yeah, anyway, that's not to do with y'all lmao I just had a thought] Jimmy: [gutted this isn't Ali's caravan cos there would've been a whole dressing up box for you bubs if it were] Janis: [you can have a fake wedding when you are home lol] Jimmy: [for now make some paper doll bride and grooms that'll keep you busy] Janis: [burn that evidence, Tess is gonna be horrified, like what's this about ANOTHER teen wedding] Jimmy: [honestly this fam do make me cackle] Janis: [not enough time has passed since ruster getting married at 18 we're all triggered lmao] Jimmy: [would Edie's be before theirs or after? I get so confused] Janis: [hmm, let me think, theirs would be about 34...which is when Libi is born, so yeah, Edie is about 15 so it's the year before, 'cos obviously they get married like RIGHT before they die in 35] Janis: [talk about a YEAR for the fam, hi I'm having a baby @ 14 and hi I'm getting married to my cousin @ 18 oh and I'm also going to get pregnant] Jimmy: [we are so wild I love us] Janis: [if anyone's kids would, it is Alison's but omg, we're shooketh, not to mention we cripple Billie, then the Junior baby drama...no one getting out unscathed] Jimmy: [and now we've got jj triggering everyone and Grace out here about to also think she's a teen mum for a hot sec] Janis: [this is why everyone chats shit about y'all, but imagine the lowkey weird guilt 'cos nothing does happen to the twins really, aside from the obvious, but it's bad enough this all happens in your fam and then everyone won't shut up about it like] Janis: [also Nancy and Ava by that extension 'cos Buster embroils himself in it all and the Chloe and James of it] Jimmy: [that's why Grace is how she is guys, this fam and shit nan ruining her life lowkey] Janis: [when you can't complain 'cos it's like um well Edie's dead and Billie is crippled for life so bye, hence Janis just does as she pleases and is a bitch to everyone 'cos call her a troublemaker and whatever then, like fine, it's better than trying to deal and act like you're #grateful and #blessed] Janis: [and that's all the drama that's yet to come out, oh guys] Jimmy: [I'm gonna go re-read what I said about Jimothy's ex on the school trip because only time she's been mentioned and maybe tone that situation down depending what I've committed to because the cali fam is a LOT] Janis: [I remember the basic vibe was pregnant and with her dad's friend but yeah, go look] Jimmy: [yeah but hopefully I haven't gone in mentioning that so far and we can be like ❌] Janis: [yeah, even if it was just a lad her own age-ish and preggo now, 'cos it may have even been 2 kids and they're only 15 now so] Jimmy: [I think we've got away with implying she's a very messy bitch who has now changed her ways at least somewhat so that's fine because I don't think I've mentioned her in any of the festive convos] Janis: [we'll let you live gal] Jimmy: [anyway we've been derailed] Janis: [truly, y'all want to settle these children down again tah] Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: [get in your little den bubs] Jimmy: *🥱🥱 Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Ideal Janis: just saying, not going to their wedding Jimmy: we'll be long 💀💀💀 mate, don't worry Janis: not if she makes herself a loo roll veil and has done with it Janis: poor Bobby has had no say in the matter Jimmy: ain't seen him shake his head Janis: such a romantic Jimmy: Dunno where either of 'em get that from Janis: dread to think Jimmy: no need to 💭 about owt that isn't #goals, you're alright Janis: 🤵👰💀🤢 Jimmy: don't fancy the look of your new scale much Janis: 😏 Janis: not a question I'd even fake pop, don't be 😱 Jimmy: not even if every dickhead but me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺?! Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: even if I had fuck all, you wouldn't be getting half of it Jimmy: keep your 🐕🏃💰🔐 I get it Janis: you don't whore for those tips for nothing, yeah Jimmy: in the job description, that Janis: why else would you apply Jimmy: my ☕🎨 going unappreciated in this lifetime is an #ultimatekink Janis: of course Janis: 💔 fuels your craft Jimmy: 🖋✎🖌🔪🔧🔨🪓 Janis: 🥱 to 🤤 Jimmy: massive scale that one Janis: one time speed is impressive Janis: have it Jimmy: if you ain't bringing up either of us being 🥇 at driving Janis: that aside Janis: 🏃 too Janis: not where my 🧠 was obvs Jimmy: tah for not wanting to piss off Jimmy: mine's not on 🎨 at this very minute so I ain't after the 💔 Janis: 💀💀 Jimmy: ? or ! Janis: bit of both Janis: request and an order Jimmy: come here then Janis: [a look like dare I/do I but also a LOOK obvs] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK back always] Janis: [get snuggled in this den moment best you can without disturbing the kiddos] Jimmy: [being as sneaky as we can cos don't need these kids getting extra about your rom com life again but pulling her into his lap, injury be damned because we miss it] Janis: [missed it too and our expression would say as much] Jimmy: [it's been forever like literally pub crawl was the last time] Janis: [upsetting and rude, frankly] Jimmy: [it really is, excuse you Ian] Janis: [thank god she's skinny if tall, not gonna kill you] Jimmy: [gotta do what we gotta do cos shameless fave thing ever] Janis: [just drawing doodles all over his arm with her finger] Jimmy: [playing with her hair while she does] Janis: [we're happy and that always scares us ah] Jimmy: [likewise, oh lads] Janis: [go on your phone and see about the NYE party you aren't gonna get to go to and show him like] Jimmy: [ooh good idea boo] Janis: [are we saying it's at Mia's or did I imagine that] Jimmy: [I think we did to make it more of a thing that they don't go, because we all know Mia literally never hosts a function like it's only this all year] Janis: [so it would be such a to-do for the flat whites 'cos lord knows you've not got the reps you think you have ladies] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and we know her and Pablo are over/on the rocks so she'd be even more extra about it] Janis: [thankful we miss it tbh] Jimmy: [hard same and not just cos I love the drama] Janis: [its all the drama mick, we know it'll be a terrible party but yes, rn you can plan how you're gonna slay it if you wanna] Jimmy: Go on, how are we topping 🎄 with them? Janis: already done 😇 Janis: so it'll have to be 🌟 Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say 😈 Janis: also a possibility Janis: this party is one of the only way she has of winning + at this point Janis: how do we really ruin it for - Jimmy: where's her dad? be real hell for him, this Janis: some beach in the Caribbean Janis: he couldn't miss that to continue her punishment Janis: 💔 he don't care as much as you thought, babe Jimmy: still probably won't take much to get him back Jimmy: that lass ain't had another go at a party since we fucked up hers Janis: he is with her mother so fuck knows how he manages to have a good time Janis: assumedly it's one giant swingers convention or whatever Janis: true, I wanna do it worse though Janis: more personal, just need to 💭 how Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you want me to 💀💀💀 them for you Janis: like the sound of that Jimmy: so say it and I'll do it Janis: that's how it works, yeah Jimmy: you can have owt you're after from me, you know it works like that Janis: only if we post it Jimmy: you've got my permission to hold my 📷 while I've got the 🔪 Janis: 😍 Janis: can't promise quality Jimmy: what are you promising? Janis: you know what Jimmy: don't get more top quality than 🥇 Janis: whatever you want Janis: that's what I'll give you Jimmy: I just want Janis: go on Jimmy: [kiss her please because I'm not going to let you say something extra right now] Janis: [intense silent kisses ftw rn] Jimmy: [I do hope these children are asleep because silent is not his forte for very long] Janis: [we'll give you that, as Libi has already rinsed you lol] Jimmy: [and keeps spilling all the fam tea] Janis: [gotta let you have something lads or you'll go cray] Jimmy: [and we're ruining it all for you soon] Janis: [ugh shit nan, soz not soz you're getting floored hen] Jimmy: [honestly wish it was worse cos so deserved] Janis: [as if this is the time for you to drag up Caleb's drama, like didn't even mention he had to go and get killed, like ffs] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali will ban you from the gaff because we're all sick of your shit my love] Janis: [we were humouring you to be nice but like, no] Jimmy: [the amount of chances she's already given you through the years, dread to think tbh] Janis: [we all know she gives too many, like she never banned either Caleb or Drew from seeing their kids or being involved, she's not that bitch if she doesn't have to be] Jimmy: [likewise with Joe and Ronnie, nothing if not consistent and I love you gal] Janis: [and ro lbr] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [oh rosaline, this do not be about you though, again, off topic] Jimmy: [I wanna say he's thought of something to ruin this party we don't get to go to because we just wanna give the bae everything she wants but I don't know what] Janis: [we can because as it won't get to come to fruition, we can be vague lol, just kissing him even harder] Jimmy: [how intensely we're doing literally everything rn because the feels are so high] Janis: ['we need to go' when you mean to the bedroom but that just comes out that dramatically lol, obviously we're whispering 'cos if you wake up now lmao] Jimmy: [try not to fall over the obstacle course of all the stuff these children have left everywhere because we all know you're gonna kiss the whole way there because forever a cliche] Janis: [as funny as that would be, one of you is injured and the other has only just recovered so be careful tah] Jimmy: [and you'd be fuming if you got cockblocked rn, we don't need another argument happening between anyone] Janis: [Cass I hope you're out or otherwise entertained 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [maybe you're asleep too tbf because we never get any at home and you've been busy having friends and living your best life] Janis: [let's go with it, we're all content] Jimmy: [hook up to your heart's content lads we'll be sending you back in the morning] Janis: [so you'll be going back 28th, just so we know where we are] Jimmy: [thank god you can work things out properly my boo] Janis: [gives us a few days to do with what we want so that's nice] Jimmy: [is there anything else on the list or have we done it all?] Janis: [the only things we have is Twix being ill and one of Asia's sisters having a bday party, we could do Twix in this period, can't really do a party between xmas and ny even they're not that dumb] Jimmy: [we should do that bday party when she gets back and things are really awkward between them because Bobby can be like I want Libi to come with me because they thing they are in love rn] Janis: [yeah, and they could fuck with Asia and when have they needed much more than a flimsy excuse so] Jimmy: [that was my thought, an excuse to get them back together that isn't just school] Janis: [think that was the plan, we can skip to when they're back if you'd like, don't think this has been that long] Jimmy: [I know we always say that but it shouldn't have actually been that long this time lol] Janis: [we alright, also back home and separated] Janis: everyone's sufficiently sure we haven't permanently damaged the kid here so 🏆 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Ian ain't gonna give me no 🏆 Jimmy: no longer the season Janis: and his nice act was SO convincing Jimmy: IKR Janis: 🙄 if I needed acting lessons Janis: which I don't Jimmy: you're in luck there 'cause my mum'd be the one for it putting up with his bollocks for as long as she bothered Jimmy: but about as likely as him chucking out the welcome wagon for us Janis: Shame Janis: better not tell him about the wedding Janis: 😡 🤬 all 'round Jimmy: the 💰 saver of making it a double might do something about that but with how you feel about sharing Jimmy: it'd be you fuming Janis: look like we'd hired mini-mes Jimmy: bit of a mix up with yours Janis: it happens Janis: get what you pay for 🎻 Jimmy: she's spot on with matching your ☀ personality, babe Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: low Janis: don't compare me to a toddler 😂 Jimmy: work on her volume 🤏 and no dickhead'll know the difference Janis: you're gonna talk big now I can't do nothing about it Janis: twat Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: doing my bit so you ain't 💔 missing us Janis: very thoughtful Janis: I'll be buzzing to sleep in a proper bed on my own Jimmy: just that kind of twat, me Janis: I know Janis: how many treats he given the dog then? Jimmy: come on, none of us can count that high Jimmy: need you for that Janis: I'll have to come see you then Jimmy: won't let you 😴 heard you about wanting your own bed Janis: it's not that good, honestly Janis: but you know Jimmy: sounded alright to me, might just be the no kid 💭💡 though Janis: yeah Janis: unlucky Janis: least you won't have to make a fort every night Jimmy: depends how 💔😭🎻 he gets missing her Jimmy: might have to do all sorts of bollocks Janis: 😏 Janis: tin can phone might actually work from that distance and with her volume Jimmy: dinner and tonight's crafts ✔ Janis: caravan life makes you so resourceful Jimmy: ⛺️ next? Janis: calm down bear grylls Jimmy: only answer to daddy 🐻 or baby when you INSIST on a compromise Janis: well, baby Janis: imagine the previous 2 nights, in a tent, with no room to hide Jimmy: all of it or just the bits I wanna 💭? Janis: the bits you wanna wouldn't have a lot of hope of repeating, is my point Janis: unless yours is making dog treats was your fave Jimmy: OBVS Janis: dickhead Jimmy: time of my life that were, think about it constant, no room for nowt else but 🐕🍪 Janis: yeah, you do LOVE that dog Janis: fair enough Janis: you two go on your camping holibobs Jimmy: bit rude you're not coming, but alright Janis: no room Jimmy: loads under the ⭐s girl Janis: 🤩 Janis: tents are for pussies Jimmy: it's a yeah now then? Janis: just us? Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: bit unfair to call the kids pussies but probably more unfair to make 'em rough it like that Jimmy: reckon I'll just leave the 🐕 with our kid, so he's not as 💔😭🎻 you reckon he's not 💪😎 Jimmy: it's a 👶 an' all Janis: I never slagged him off Janis: he's alright Janis: just Jimmy: just us Janis: yeah Janis: and all the ⭐s Bill knows the names of Jimmy: he'd have me name them after all the ones I've got for you Janis: why the pricks not invited Jimmy: keep it between us that we're even going Janis: 🗢🔒 Jimmy: til we get there Jimmy: 🗨🔊 then if you want Janis: *need Janis: least we get to christen Mia's bed this party Jimmy: 🤞 we find her diary an' all Janis: can put it on the site Janis: the good bits, anyway Jimmy: trash her room since she was so chuffed the last time Janis: wonder if daddy keeps anything incriminating about the house Jimmy: he'll have an office Jimmy: dickheads who spend every minute at work always do Janis: yeah, I know the sort Janis: and keeping it locked'd be too suspicious Jimmy: piss easy Jimmy: where on the scale'll 💀👑 end up if we christen his desk an' all? Janis: I'd guess 😩 🥺 😢 😭 but we'll see 'cos I know where I am Jimmy: go on Janis: guess first Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't tell ya Janis: play the game Jimmy: you're 😳 Janis: close Janis: 🤯 you keep having such good ideas Janis: 😣 it ain't tonight Jimmy: might have a 🥇💡 for tonight if you play nicely yourself Janis: how do I do that? Jimmy: do you need me to tell you? Jimmy: done a top job of it without that Janis: might be part of the fun Jimmy: I dunno what fun we're having yet, just that Ian'll have had an easy go of it while we were gone Janis: bet it was well hard for him to act like he gave a shit you was gone for longer Janis: plenty of ways to get to the truth of it Jimmy: can't promise you'll 👀⭐'s but there'll be 🎆🎇 Janis: I'm in Jimmy: we should be out first, dunno why I'm pissing about here when he is to chuck the kids at Janis: there is loads for Bobby to tell him Jimmy: and my sister to go on about an' all Jimmy: and there's this Jimmy: [evidence of whatever carnage Twix has caused] Janis: 🙌 Janis: told you she was on side Jimmy: [evidence of how much she's wilding because they are back and she is lowkey scared of Ian] Jimmy: Dunno about that, doing my head in already, her Janis: n'awh Janis: shut up you 💘 it Jimmy: sounds and feels right fake Janis: then you're used to it Jimmy: you coming out or what? Janis: you reckon that's how Romeo got invited up the balcony mate Jimmy: no hot chocolate included in my invite, what more to do you want, Jules? Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: yeah Janis: love 💀 things Jimmy: chuck me off the balcony then Janis: don't tease me, baby Jimmy: I mean it Janis: where do you wanna meet Jimmy: where are you? Janis: still at my grandparents so Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: where do you wanna go Jimmy: where do you? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: yeah Janis: it really don't Jimmy: just don't let Libi see us Janis: I'll come out Janis: she's not taking over again tah Jimmy: I'll warm you up Janis: I'm not scared, remember Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can Jimmy: if I don't I know what will do Janis: scare me? Jimmy: 🌡 Janis: bighead 😏 Janis: not not true though Jimmy: you and your one track 🧠 sweetheart Janis: Bill ain't invited Janis: don't need to pretend Jimmy: Oi, I've got a 🎁 for you and it ain't just 🍆🎀 Janis: what you done that for Janis: not christmas no more Jimmy: 🎅's for life Jimmy: so's pissing off Ian Janis: oh, go ahead 🍾 Jimmy: [show up boy because she's not far and hand over what you've stolen from Ian's replenished stash and I'm gonna say one of the bottles has a post it stuck to it with today's doodle which is like something to do with them stargazing obvs] Janis: [take the bottle and stick the post it on his head whilst you take a swig 'did he find his car or what' 'cos we left it somewhere then dipped so] Jimmy: [stick it on her back like excuse you it's for you when you take the bottle to take your own swig and then nearly choke cos you're loling because he hasn't because I see no reason why he would have considering where they left it and he knows nothing about Janis or where she lives] Janis: [stick it on the back of your phone or something to keep it safe, shaking our head and smirking because it's funny but also 'what's your long term plan?'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'depends' like it's so casual and we don't think about how much we hate Ian constantly lol] Janis: ['yeah, depends if he takes it to the police' kicking a stone as we walk 'we'd both be seen in it on CCTV' shrugs 'you probably want to return it or make sure someone worse takes it now'] Jimmy: ['he's not that kind of dickhead' because he isn't lbr 'he can have it back before he's in work again, don't need him hanging about having a longer holiday'] Janis: [nods like good 'glad you have a plan' and a look like NEVER had one of them before lollol] Jimmy: [a look like are you because we know we're all thinking about if this plan works and he has to leave] Janis: [shrugging it off 'not getting arrested for you' and quickening our step so we're a beat ahead] Jimmy: [💔 mime before she gets ahead of us and lighting a 🚬 when she is] Janis: ['bit rude' when you're not offered one immediately] Jimmy: [pull her back a step like it was rude of you to walk off and so you can light one for her in a saucy and intimate manner] Janis: [this 😒😣 truly I shan't elaborate] Jimmy: [a look like what even though we know] Janis: [taking the bottle back like that's what] Jimmy: [writes a ? in the condensation on the bottle because we like being annoying] Janis: [rubs it out and uses said condensation to draw a cross on his forehead] Jimmy: [that's cold and ticklish so we gotta retaliate by putting our forehead to hers OBVS even though we literally could have done a million other things] Janis: [the effort of NOT kissing him right now just to prove a point] Jimmy: [when you could just kiss her but you want her to do it so you're just doing the thing where you pull her closer to you even though you're already close af] Janis: [can't even LOOK at him you're that close, just this bottle between 'em] Jimmy: [you can lick your lips though boy and you shall] Janis: [bite your own like how dare you] Jimmy: [pull her hair like how dare YOU and also to bring her even closer] Janis: [noise between a gasp and you know what] Jimmy: [getting one back always] Janis: ['why'd you have to-' but interrupting ourself to kiss him finally] Jimmy: [have an intense makeout sesh for a bit] Janis: [idk where you are randomly in the street tis the season] Jimmy: [they blatantly are and I love that for you] Janis: [always the vibe, always the mood] Jimmy: [trying to think of somewhere you could go even though neither of you actually care] Janis: [oh the places you can't go when you're a teen or lowkey ever, just chillin'] Jimmy: [would love if there was somewhere you could go 'camping' for a little moment but idk] Janis: [there's always the park but yeah literally idk where else] Jimmy: [everywhere else would probably be a trek sadly] Janis: [maybe you can go cali house way, there's ample camping space there but probably not tonight luvs] Jimmy: [put a pin in that dream] Janis: [emotions too high rn] Jimmy: [rn and forever tbh] Janis: [we're not okay but also the best we've been in forever, very confusing lmao] Jimmy: [we know he's in exactly the same boat and that's why you are #fated] Janis: [what a time] Janis: [you should probably have to go properly home at some point tonight gal] Jimmy: [can't avoid it forever we haven't moved you in yet] Janis: [and you have been gone since boxing day so your mother would kinda exist hen] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and you don't hate her as much now she's a sassy single mum so] Janis: [yeah we're not thrilled by it all but we are gonna be running away soon so we'll give you a hot sec fam] Jimmy: [you can't be together always lads it's too dangerous because of all the shit we can't let you say] Janis: [plus Junie hasn't made an appearance this year so you all have to go a bit harder than normal soz] Jimmy: [that whole shitshow is very fresh] Janis: [mhmm, it's very recent lmao, and Caleb and honestly Edie, oh the mess, god sake shit nan why] Jimmy: [we're all struggling, not to mention we said that Carly died around this time of year so Ali really doesn't need this shit nan] Janis: [sad times all round honey] Jimmy: [remind me to decide when Jimothy's mum went missing in terms of that anniversary because I've not] Janis: [noted] Janis: [enjoy that bus gal] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: if the driver ain't human, it ain't me you wanna be telling Janis: you with your facebook ma 👍 Janis: the driver is deffo human, can smell him from here Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: might be trying to get a lift to anywhere Janis: not quite the midnight train Jimmy: can't be bothered to wait that long Janis: let me know how anywhere is Jimmy: no need Jimmy: you can have the 👎 now Janis: oh, it is you Janis: 😒 Jimmy: who else were you after? Janis: checking you weren't 🤖 Janis: or 👵 Jimmy: 👴 Jimmy: soz to 💔 you Janis: why would that 💔 me Janis: my type, no Jimmy: you've had to piss off, for a start Janis: I'll survive Janis: have to pick up all the farmyard critters your brother ordered anyway Jimmy: tah for that Janis: you're welcome Janis: 🤠 Jimmy: 🤞 there's no room left for Ian Janis: maybe in the shed Janis: if he's lucky Jimmy: the trampoline's a good shout Janis: 🤔 might be too much fun Jimmy: with his back? Nah mate 🎻🎻 Janis: 😂 Janis: least he doesn't have the 👵 bladder Jimmy: he's welcome that we keep nicking his stash Janis: I appreciated my gift Janis: even if it weren't 🍆🎀 Jimmy: far as street corners go, didn't reckon that one were 💰💰 Janis: I weren't gonna tip you Jimmy: 👵👜💰 Janis: she was not gonna get involved Janis: watch, maybe Jimmy: that's what I said Jimmy: different street maybe Janis: well it's pretty rude you can't perform without a big audience Jimmy: never said that Janis: hmm Jimmy: weren't asking for a review either but alright Janis: not giving one don't worry Jimmy: it's the fans who'll be dead relieved Janis: that we don't hoe it up on street corners? Janis: as they weren't there with 📱s out, probably Jimmy: that and you don't reckon I'm always ready to perform Janis: I'd never say that Jimmy: you did Janis: not to the fans Jimmy: you're alright, not my own biggest one Janis: yeah right Janis: your head is the the only one to maybe rival mine in size Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: dunno which 👵 or 🤖 you're on about Janis: you aren't shy Jimmy: you got a scale for that an' all? Janis: 😶🤐😬🙃😲😁😩🤮 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: I know you're 😁 Janis: but I'll 🤐 Jimmy: you Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: duh Janis: pretty nice Janis: could've gone 😲 Jimmy: still time for you to change my mind if you're that 💔 Janis: you like calling me scared, is all Janis: I'd go for 🙃 Janis: very dead in the eyes Jimmy: 👍's a bit strong Janis: yeah, it's an exclusive list Jimmy: obvs your 👀 are on it Janis: just my eyes? Jimmy: you reckon I never answer questions, what makes you think I'll do that one? Janis: miss 100% the shots you don't take, babe Janis: worth one, like Jimmy: I get it, you miss your coach and teammates Janis: coach is a bit much for the PE teacher who oversees all the girl's teams Janis: but whatever fantasy you're having, go off Jimmy: it's your 💭💕 Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: SUCH a #lad I only know about 🥤 shots Janis: we're pretending you're a jock now Janis: okay, catching up Janis: 📸❌ Jimmy: Bill will be fuming if we start performing Grease Janis: such a snob Janis: loves the limelight way too much, that one Jimmy: you'll have to picture me in short shorts on your own time Janis: when I'm not thinking about my teammates, I'll give it a 💭💕 Jimmy: brb 💭 about the wrestling bit of the montage 🤼💕 Janis: pervert Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, what happened to whatever fantasy I were having, crack on? Janis: I can't help not being a lesbian Janis: you'll have to keep it in your head, won't you Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you're such a twat Jimmy: SO complimentary today, you Janis: yeah, warn me if you want to screenshot and I'll bother Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Whatever Janis: talk to you later Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: cool Jimmy: is it? Janis: 'course Janis: I've got nothing to say about this bus, you're chatting shit Jimmy: bit rude Janis: is it? Jimmy: how isn't it? Janis: Some things my one track mind ain't interested in Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: just stop taking the piss Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry, I'm not in the mood Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: just Janis: the lesbian shit Janis: I know you were joking but don't Jimmy: It's my homoerotic scene not yours, you're not Danny Zuko, soz girl Janis: alright, foreign exchange student Jimmy: I'm not into firing shots that'll actually wound you Jimmy: blanks are 👴 perks Janis: alright Janis: let you off then Jimmy: 🤞? Jimmy: no point you being fuming if I can't see how fit you look Janis: going home is shit Janis: know you already have Jimmy: I've not Janis: you've not? Jimmy: there's every point Ian being fuming and he won't be if I'm about to 🐕🏃 or babysit Janis: where are you gonna go Janis: for the forseeable Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: Come on Janis: I wouldn't have gone yet Janis: if you'd said Jimmy: that'll be why I didn't Janis: you're going to be bored Janis: and cold Jimmy: I'm northern Janis: now I seem like a total dick, right Jimmy: you went 'cause you had to Janis: least all the pubs are open Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: I'll find some 👴 mates Janis: yeah Janis: you will, right Janis: or go church, ALWAYS open, you know Jimmy: Jesus IS my BFF Janis: exactly Janis: keep you warm Jimmy: bit of 🙏'll do that Janis: ah, the homoeroticism strikes again Jimmy: nowt warmer than hell fire, babe Janis: I'll see you there still Janis: loads of ways to get in Jimmy: alright, but I only wanna see you if you recreate your angel outfit Janis: 😈 is a fallen angel Janis: he'll allow it Jimmy: chuffed to bits to know he'll be a fan Jimmy: loads of ours won't make it down Janis: they lack the imagination Janis: 💔 Jimmy: what they lack would be a massive list Jimmy: I'd bother telling you what else I like before I did them bulletpoints Janis: 🥧🍺🥔👀 Janis: I can keep up Jimmy: ain't you who's illiterate Janis: welcome for the pictures Janis: you can give me one more, for being nice Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: copout but fine Janis: add it to the list Jimmy: you never said it had to be one you didn't know Janis: didn't say it was a cheat Janis: just a bit...lazy? rude? idk Jimmy: I dunno what emoji I would do for what you smell like without making it weird 1. 👃? 2. 🐽? Janis: can't believe the emoji library has let you down like this Janis: 🐽 is cuter, less creepy, anyway Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I'll add it to the list Janis: I could just use 🚬 for you, that's what you smell like Jimmy: can't say I don't do owt to give you an easier go of it Janis: bit of a stretch to blame/gift your addiction to me but yeah Jimmy: but more romantic Janis: that is what's important here Janis: what do I smell like, now I'm worried Janis: at least you like it Jimmy: if I could narrow it down I'd have done Jimmy: you're not a vape Janis: nicest thing you've ever said to me? 🤔 Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you really are great at this romance shit Jimmy: tah for not being 🍭🍨🍦🧁🍰🎂 it means loads to me an' all Janis: wouldn't be able to live with myself, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't be able to die with you Janis: 😷😷😷 Janis: ruin the ending, 👻 FUMING Jimmy: I'll tell him to take it up with 🚬 for only fucking your sense of taste Janis: there goes that sponsorship Jimmy: *🤐 Janis: I was doing great work saying how fit of a smell it was Janis: ffs Jimmy: Where? Janis: I put it on my list, duh Jimmy: said you could not that you did Janis: there you go then Jimmy: say it then Janis: I like the way you smell too Janis: and there should be a less creepy way to say it, you're right Jimmy: 🗨 can still stay on the list, not that you've even remembered it Janis: I've not forgotten it Janis: just doubt you like it as much as 🥔 for example Jimmy: what's it that I'm doing now? Jimmy: bit rude to doubt me Janis: I'm not a good conversationalist, not something I've got an ego about Jimmy: it's my list, dickhead, not yours Janis: but you're 🗨 about 🗨 to me Jimmy: and I'm 🗨  I rate it Jimmy: you don't get a say in what I like, we're not 👰💍🤵 Janis: I just don't believe you Janis: but that don't matter Jimmy: why? Janis: s'your list, like you said Jimmy: why don't you believe me? Janis: 'cos I never know what to say, I told you Jimmy: so you manage to say the right things without knowing Jimmy: that's 🏆 Janis: only when they've been written for me Jimmy: it were you who said she's a more boring version of you Jimmy: you know that's not when I mean Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: I like talking to you, I said it ages ago and I'm still going on about it now so there's something in that Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: alright, alright Janis: I'll believe you mean it Jimmy: that's 3 things about you you've had off the list, so I will shut up now, like Janis: I'm not giving your 2 IOUs Janis: not fair Jimmy: so just tell me now Janis: I'm 💭 Jimmy: don't hurt yourself Jimmy: I get it's WELL difficult Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't want you accusing me of copying you, is all Janis: I like your voice, that's different from 🗨 Jimmy: 🥇🎤 me Jimmy: goes without 🗨 the accent is an' all Janis: I'm not 🤤 'cos you're English Janis: make me sound like them Janis: but Janis: I like not loads of other cunts have heard it Jimmy: none of 'em have, my customer service voice isn't how I 🗨  or any other dickhead really does Janis: ✨ so special, me Jimmy: my sister and Ian don't wanna talk to me and our kid can't with 🗨 so you're basically it Jimmy: when Libi ain't shouting over you Jimmy: but don't let your head get too massive, can't have you stuck on that 🚍 Janis: 🎈📌 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'd have to swap uniforms and 🚒🪓 you out Jimmy: what a ball ache Janis: more cliche too Janis: no one actually wants to fuck the police Janis: gotta keep it niche Jimmy: go on then, is that your last ✔? Janis: that's only 2, I'm not adding your real/fake persona, soz 👮 Janis: alright, as you went 👀 I'll go 💋 Jimmy: fuming that you'd make me wanna kiss YOU when giving ME a compliment but alright Janis: we're both well kissable, that's fair to say Janis: ask the fans Jimmy: shh I'm 💭 and I don't want any of them twats popping up Janis: 😶 Janis: oops, defeats the point a bit Jimmy: you're alright, I control the 🔊 in my head, I'll put you on proper loud Janis: I'd add that to my list but then you'd owe me Janis: not very 😇 Jimmy: you'll have to be 😈 Janis: your 🔊 then Jimmy: for a start Janis: I'm not going to put my own on my list Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: there can be crossover Jimmy: I already know you like the 🔊 I can get you to, so don't worry if 🚬 were a copout that is Janis: you can't claim eyes forever Janis: or I'll just list all the good stuff now and you'll be well fucked Jimmy: not that long of a 🚍 ride Janis: contrary to what you reckon Janis: not that hard to think up the shit I like Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I'm not 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you might float away Janis: if you're still out Jimmy: got nowt else on or anywhere else to be Jimmy: 🎈 sounds decent enough Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: Dunno if I'm chuffed or gutted you didn't go for 🐘 Janis: trust you Jimmy: well you being a better 🤹 ain't going on the list Jimmy: fuming Janis: you're still good with your hands Janis: just different way Janis: 🖕✌️🤟 Jimmy: I Jimmy: wish you were here sounds like we're still at the 🏖 and I'm 🖋 a postcard but Janis: you can draw me one Janis: wish I had something to do that weren't wistfully staring out of windows but Jimmy: 👴 flirting Janis: they are pretty saucy, you know Jimmy: never heard anyone use saucy since before I ⚰👻 so tah for that, Judith Jimmy: racy is another one I miss 👴💔 Jimmy: #thegoodoldcourtingdays Janis: 🏹 to please Janis: and I know my audience Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 💘 Jimmy: you had me at getting your MASSIVE ankle out Janis: oi, my ankle is perfectly normal now, don't try and trick me into sending you such a scandalous picture Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: proof's in the 📷 you set yourself up for that Janis: 😱 but my reputation! Jimmy: 🦶 size matters, my dear Janis: [obviously sends a picture with all sorts of pisstakey emojis and bants] Janis: dainty, I think you'll find Jimmy: [obviously sends a 😍 af selfie back which isn't even that pisstakey because we are feeling that rn and always] Janis: You're indecent Jimmy: can be if you like Jimmy: there's nobody else at the park Janis: how long do you want my list to be Jimmy: how long is it now? Janis: embarrassingly long Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: needs to be so long you're past caring about 😳 Janis: what will I do when you fuck of 🎈 Jimmy: come with Janis: alright Janis: we'll work on your list some more and see Jimmy: alright Janis: your ❌🍆s to give thing makes the list easy though Janis: just FYI Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: you probably wanna avoid being that guy at the park though Janis: if I'm there, different vibe Jimmy: you heard there's no 👀 or 👂 Jimmy: you'd have to be the one reporting me Janis: I need you with me too bad to do that Janis: I don't need bars between us as well as distance, like Janis: even Bill didn't go there Jimmy: The antlers are long gone, even if the 🎵's live on in my 🧠 Jimmy: no reindeer games that involve a jailbreak, I promise Janis: Shame Janis: how are you going to top your festive #lewks? Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Jimmy: nowt but full body glitter? Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds itchy Jimmy: 💀👑 not have a pool? 💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: SUCH a letdown Janis: 💡 Janis: have to ask Janis: clog the filters right up Jimmy: hot tub'll do IF IT HAS TO but it don't have the #drama Bill's after Janis: she's definitely got one of them Janis: sti soup that it is 🤢 Jimmy: really painted a picture for me there Jimmy: might just leave the ✨ on so she knows where I've been Janis: imagine how many secretaries have been disappointed in there Janis: not to mention the lads not quite swallowed whole Janis: not going to be unnoticed, I guess Janis: shine on Jimmy: Dunno if I wanna 💭 Jimmy: more tragic than owt Bill's ever written Janis: #bonerkiller Janis: she's 💔🎻🎻 daddy could ever be anything less than 💯 as well Jimmy: 🤞 he sends her a postcard, can't wait to nick that off the fridge Janis: so hot when you're mean Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not even started yet, baby Jimmy: didn't reckon on being chuffed to bits for her party but Janis: I know Janis: should thank us Janis: no one has ever been this buzzing Jimmy: except those lads when they realised they'd FINALLY 💀💀💀 Janis: you're special, babe Janis: not everyone likes it like you Jimmy: don't put that on your list Jimmy: makes me sound like a twat Janis: if I did it'd make me sound like a psychopath so Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: least we ain't made a list of the other dickheads we want to die Jimmy: length of it would be a nightmare Janis: and we're looking for less attention, not more Janis: school therapist can do one if she wants to chat Jimmy: bit rude she ain't introduced herself to me, been here ages struggling with this bloody paddy language barrier Janis: how dare she not want to start an inappropriate relationship with you Janis: Lucas doing all the heavy lifting for her 😤 Jimmy: am I losing my new boy ✨ or what? 😱 Janis: her cardigan collection means she's either celibate or a massive lesbian so Janis: you're still so ✨ I SWEAR Jimmy: Why not both? #dontlimityourselflove Jimmy: OH THANK GOD Janis: read that as #doityourselflove so, yeah Janis: must be what she's up to in her office, bless Jimmy: Be Lucas in detention an' all Jimmy: will have spent the hol practicing with them new ties so he's ready to go Janis: you better be here Janis: or my trauma is on your hands Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: plays right into the hands of that gay therapist Jimmy: you don't know it weren't her spreading those rumours Janis: make sense Janis: did turn her down last time Janis: doubt she works commission for every fucked up kid she 'helps' Jimmy: I'll be here to save you, Joanne Janis: Ian don't move fast Janis: I've noticed Jimmy: he's got the 🐕 and 👶s to bring him 🍺🥧🥔 when there's no Sharon, no need to move Janis: so what's your next step Jimmy: body in the boot when I bring the car back? Janis: his or john/jane doe Jimmy: Sharons obvs Janis: duh Janis: we're framing him Janis: okay, where's she hang out Jimmy: depends Janis: when she ain't photocopying things Jimmy: she's always photocopying her tits, full time job, that Jimmy: what it depends on is which Sharon you mean Jimmy: but probably find any of them in the hair dye aisle Janis: all of 'em at once Janis: like confused blonde gazelles Janis: *blonde, with bad roots and tell-tell greys 😱 Janis: have to stack 'em up Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not a list, technically Janis: Sharon x ??? Jimmy: be weird seeing their real names in all the papers Janis: for your dad too Janis: can pin them on his cell wall Jimmy: Dunno what he calls 'em Jimmy: @ him Janis: I'm not sure I need to 💭 Jimmy: 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: bit late for the christmas card Jimmy: crack on drafting your new year's text Janis: Dear future father in law Janis: terrified Jimmy: *daddy in law Janis: 😂 Janis: even better Jimmy: do they not make new years cards? 💔 missing something if it's not 🖋🩸 Janis: you send the text before the rush hun Jimmy: oh tah, I'll make sure our kid gets on the tin can 📞 proper early Janis: yeah, little socialite will be well busy Jimmy: got a wedding to plan if nowt else Janis: don't tell him it's her 4th Jimmy: he'd never stop 😭😭 Jimmy: I'll 📞 him now, let Ian sort that Janis: nursery gets wild, what can she say Jimmy: gutted she can't come to the party 💀👑'd never survive her review Janis: 💔 Janis: have to arrange a play date Janis: 💀👑 n #2'd keel over 🤞 Jimmy: I'll stick in it the group chat Janis: make sure you make it clear there'll be kids there Janis: don't want them to die of excitement before we can do it ourselves Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not playing with them Janis: can't make me Jimmy: could but I won't Jimmy: you're my best mate, they ain't having you Janis: 😳 Janis: can I put that on the list Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: yeah Jimmy: so there's your answer Janis: what emoji means BFFs Jimmy: 🤝? 🤗? Janis: 🤝 Janis: I don't know what that other fucker is doing Jimmy: looks like when dickheads mime they're being kissed, do you know what I mean? Janis: well, we aren't THOSE kind of friends Jimmy: what sort are we? Janis: strictly 🤝 professional Janis: don't get any ideas Janis: so friendzoned Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: is it? Jimmy: have to be now you've said, won't it? Janis: not necessarily Janis: what kind of friends do you think we are? Jimmy: I weren't planning to stick a post it on your head Janis: might help you remember my name Jimmy: I know your name, Juliet Jimmy: dunno what you're on about Janis: mhmm Janis: my mistake Jimmy: not as thick as I look, remember Janis: I know Janis: mates, remember Jimmy: 🥇🤝 Janis: ✨ Jimmy: you gonna wear them for the party an' all? Janis: couple outfit!!1 Janis: I don't know Janis: it's gonna be all LBDs and sparkles so Janis: got to do better Jimmy: question is, shopping trip or crafting session? Janis: I've had enough crafting for one holiday Jimmy: thought you were gonna say one life Janis: and 😢 you like that? Janis: not very nice Jimmy: being nice I were about to offer to take you 🛍  after work Janis: yeah? Janis: 😇 boy Jimmy: never said I'd 💰 for owt Jimmy: steady on Janis: duh Janis: don't need money Jimmy: 😈 then Janis: we can pretend Janis: you will be sick of using your customer service 🔊😁 Jimmy: already am Janis: I'll come in a bit early Janis: you can talk to me properly Jimmy: you're being too nice now Janis: that a no? Jimmy: it's a what do you want? Janis: 😈 Jimmy: go on Janis: tell me when you're off and you'll see if I turn up early or on time Jimmy: [a time] Janis: sorted Jimmy: what about about now? Janis: what could I possibly do that was 😈 now Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: you're right, no chance of topping the 🦶📷 Janis: that kind of shameless reverse psychology will always work Janis: hold on Jimmy: don't need to be a school therapist Janis: bringing her up ain't gonna get you anything 🔥 Jimmy: if you can't give me owt 🔥 when you're under it from any bollocks going, what kind of muse are you? 💔 Janis: you get what you give, dickhead Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 obvs] Janis: [more risque pic back than last time, idk the scale but one up from whatever we did before] Jimmy: alright, I take back what I said Janis: you better Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 👍 Jimmy: should've said you were so 🏆 I'd have offered to lend you my 📷 before the killing spree Janis: I prefer when you take them Jimmy: that going on the list? Janis: I don't know if I'm that comfortable with the spotlight Janis: but you make me look alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: how you look Janis: nah, but I don't immediately wanna hide or flip you off so Janis: take it Jimmy: gutted 🖕💕 Janis: [pic of] Janis: anything for you, dearest Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: there she is Janis: not been mugged by some random slag Jimmy: bit awkward I were so into it if you were Janis: yeah, she'll be fuming if she ever finds out Jimmy: our secret Janis: fuck off Janis: supposed to say I could never get mugged 'cos I'm so 💪 Jimmy: I dunno how many fake muggers there were, mate Janis: don't matter Janis: GOD Jimmy: were he there an' all? bit rude of him not to help you out Jimmy: such a good catholic lass Janis: he helps those whole help themselves Janis: and you might be friends now but known me longer so he'll definitely let me smack you Jimmy: wouldn't stop you myself, how could I when you're THAT 💪🏆🥇 Janis: 😒 Janis: shush Jimmy: walking wounded, me Jimmy: about to turn into a ⛄ Janis: stop it Janis: focus on finding a decent pub Jimmy: without you as my sat nav? Janis: why'd you let me go dickhead Janis: I'm mad Jimmy: why'd you have to? Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: they'd all survive Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I'll live Janis: yeah Jimmy: don't be pissed off at me Jimmy: 🤗🤗🤗 Janis: do what you like, mate Jimmy: *🥺🥺🥺 Janis: you're so annoying, you know Jimmy: I'll go back when you have, it's 🥇🤝 of me or some bollocks Janis: don't go back 'til you want to Janis: just do something that ain't freezing to death, tah Janis: I get why you don't wanna be there Jimmy: never ain't an option Jimmy: and the park's nice, loads of 🏆💭 Janis: okay Janis: that's true Janis: what you can remember Jimmy: that you offering to fill in the gaps or what? Janis: I don't know what you and don't 💭 Jimmy: could just tell me what you do, for a start Janis: could do Jimmy: so? Janis: we first went there after we ruined that bitch's shit party, yeah Jimmy: with half the other dickheads who left Jimmy: for a bit Janis: right, but no one's got any stamina so then it was just us Jimmy: feels like ages ago Jimmy: but all our 🎨's still here Janis: I remember that Janis: and it pissed it down, like school trip Janis: weird how it wasn't long ago at all, actually Jimmy: 🚫🌨 Janis: not festive but Jimmy: you were 🥶🥶 any road, I remember that Jimmy: had to chuck you a jacket Janis: you insisted, I remember Janis: as per Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: don't think you do 💭 Janis: was one of the many other lads I take there, was it? Jimmy: or all them sonnets Bill's got you bothering with Janis: if that's as far as your 💭 goes Jimmy: if that's as far as my memory goes, what? Janis: you don't remember as much as I do Jimmy: never said it were Janis: go on then Jimmy: I said sorry for being 😒 and having my own personal 🌧 over my head the way I would if you were really pissed off with me now Janis: what a nightmare Janis: making you say sorry all the time Jimmy: *not enough of the time Janis: not the kind of mate I'm trying to be Jimmy: why not? Janis: bit naggy Janis: bit more stepmum energy, that Jimmy: that weren't your reaction how I remember it Jimmy: might just be that the Sharons have done a shit job at giving out the right #energy Janis: I know it weren't Janis: weren't that drunk that night, if at all Jimmy: bit busy sorting that lass out for trying to make you look a twat Janis: n trying to hop on your dick, yeah Jimmy: that's every lass Janis: no need to flex, I've heard, like Jimmy: no need to 1. make it about me when it were about you 2. call me a lightweight Janis: 1. everything is about me, far as you're concerned baby 💕 2. clearly not as your 🧠 so clear Jimmy: clearly were saying you dunno what I do or don't remember a bit ago when you reckon you barely drank owt Janis: maybe you've got a shit memory Janis: not gonna assume nothing Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you're being irritating again Janis: what's your point? Jimmy: how am I? Janis: I don't know, just being pedantic and saying shit you know I'm not saying Jimmy: bollocks Janis: this is what I mean Janis: what's wrong, just come out with it Jimmy: nowt's wrong with me, I dunno what you mean Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: rewind then Janis: before you were using emojis solely to chat Jimmy: before we met's a bit far, Judith Janis: well they ain't my idea Janis: 💃💅🛍😘☕🍸💖 Janis: #inspo Jimmy: I get it, you want full verses Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [writes her a decent poem cos just that bitch] Janis: where'd you steal that from Janis: I can't find it on google Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: it's from my 🧠 Janis: just now? Jimmy: sound more surprised, dickhead Jimmy: you chucked me loads of #inspo Janis: I am, sorry, like Janis: how do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: say such Janis: 🤯 things Jimmy: just pissing about, me Janis: it's a skill Janis: you could use it for evil Janis: if you wanted Jimmy: have used it for 💰 Jimmy: at my school before Janis: yeah? Janis: 👏 Jimmy: no dickhead's gone above 🥔 prints Jimmy: had to do something to make it less grim Janis: you and your 🎨 temperament Janis: should do it here Janis: 💰s a 💰 Jimmy: massive language barrier Jimmy: don't 🗨 paddy Janis: gutted Janis: I'd help but Janis: need emotions and shit for that Jimmy: to proofread? Janis: yeah Janis: ❓❗ me Jimmy: nowt but going over it with a green 🖋 is it? Janis: depends how 💕 these notes are gonna be Jimmy: depends how 💰 they are Janis: so you'll do homework as well, sick notes? Jimmy: homework's a bit far Jimmy: unless it's about Bill obvs Janis: obvs Janis: you should do it Janis: you piss it out easy, evidenced loads of times Jimmy: know how to piss out a website and ads an' all, tah sir Jimmy: it's like he knew Janis: what a babe Janis: guardian 😇 Janis: don't put it on 💀👑 site, be a dead giveaway Jimmy: she'd have me doing 💌 for daddy Jimmy: talk about piss easy 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: xoxo 👻 boy Janis: keep it professional, babe Janis: she'll never pay if you sound as thirsty as you do Jimmy: she'd never pay Janis: 😏 cold dead hands Jimmy: would need your 💪 Janis: I'd LOVE to fuck her up Jimmy: not just her, any twat who's 💰 shy Janis: you reckon I'll be 😢? Jimmy: *😁 Janis: exactly Janis: ☁team Jimmy: SUCH a ☀ you Jimmy: 💔 you're not here Janis: how cold are you? Jimmy: how northern am I? Janis: stubborn* Janis: pretty damn stubborn Jimmy: *💪 Jimmy: VERY is right Janis: I won't disagree Janis: everyone's 👀 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: it's rude Jimmy: why? Janis: I can't look at you ALL the time Jimmy: can if you want Janis: can't right now Jimmy: 📷 Janis: but then the second problem becomes the first Jimmy: ? Janis: can't touch you Jimmy: you've got your perfect 💭 recall from when you did Janis: have to do Jimmy: I'll 🏃 Jimmy: race the 🚍 back Janis: very classics Janis: bit after Bill's time but he's down Jimmy: are you? Janis: you know I miss you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: it'd keep you warm Jimmy: not for long if your mum won't have me through the door Janis: she's got loads of kids, won't notice one more Janis: you can come, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: I want you too Jimmy: then I'll be there in a bit Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to have his car again Janis: yeah Janis: wanna take it for one last ride though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I know Janis: redundant Jimmy: I get it, you just wanna hear it from me Janis: naturally Jimmy: it's a yeah, never not a yeah to you Janis: 💀 me Jimmy: as promised Janis: s'all I want Jimmy: so slowly, so painfully Janis: shit Jimmy: if you can't feel the whole 🔪 we'll just have another go Janis: death by a thousand cuts might seem a bit ambitious Janis: but I've got trust in you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: you are Jimmy: you Janis: but you Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: you're Janis: you're more Janis: whatever you were going to say Jimmy: that's just you Jimmy: more than I can 🗨 Janis: but you make me feel so Jimmy: I should be fuming that you make me feel owt but there's no room for bollocks like that Janis: yeah Janis: like, I should care, be careful Janis: but I don't and I can't Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: nowt matters but this Janis: fuck it Janis: if you're alright with it, so am I Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: then I'm yours Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I've got no words for what that felt like Janis: but 👍 not 👎 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: like the twist of a 🔪 Jimmy: 🥇👍 Janis: good Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: I'll never get there if you keep being so Janis: It's hard being quiet when there's so much I could say to make you Janis: but I will Jimmy: it's hard being quiet Janis: you don't have to be, do you? Jimmy: not the one on a packed 🚍 but Janis: I've got loads of practice Jimmy: I'm not putting it on my list but take your 🏆 Janis: you don't have to Janis: when we get to mine, there's places we can be as loud as we want Jimmy: okay Janis: warm, comfortable places Janis: don't worry Jimmy: Oi Janis: I know, you're VERY 💪 and even more Northern Janis: but I want you to feel comfortable before I kill you Jimmy: don't be making out that owt worries me but how fucking far into the middle of nowt you live Janis: I know, it's very inconvenient Janis: miss his car, like Jimmy: why didn't I just come with you? fuck's sake Janis: same reasons I didn't stay with you Jimmy: 🥇💡 us Janis: Don't tell the fans Janis: so disappointed Jimmy: far as they know we're never apart Janis: if only, babes Jimmy: 💭🥺 Janis: I am more bored Janis: when you aren't about Jimmy: that it? Jimmy: the full scale of your feelings Janis: shh Jimmy: you're less 😳 when I'm not about Jimmy: greatest 💔 this town's ever had to go through Janis: if anyone wants to disagree I'll 🥺 at them Jimmy: What kind of dickhead would dare? It's the sort of 🎨 that ain't subjective, soz Janis: you'll have to let 'em know Jimmy: 📢 OI Janis: 😂 just like that Jimmy: know what I'm doing, me Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: but I am going to need you to show me again, like right fucking now please Jimmy: seeing as you were so polite about it, my dear Jimmy: what can I do for you right fucking now? Janis: just Janis: tell me you feel it too Janis: how much you wish I was there, or you was here Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the fans aren't the only dickheads 🤞 we were together all the time Janis: not my fault everyone else is shit Jimmy: 🤏 your fault you're not but Janis: you're not even meant to be here Jimmy: 👻 barely am, it's alright Janis: no it's not Janis: but I don't care Jimmy: it is, we can just Janis: just Jimmy: stick together Janis: yeah Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: makes sense Jimmy: good Jimmy: how much I like having you about is too much of a copout for the list Janis: when you're gone Janis: be more of a test Janis: always about now, like Jimmy: we're going together so ⚰ budge up dickhead Janis: shared enough single beds with you to manage Jimmy: might wanna stretch out a bit for the afterlife Janis: double plot?! 😱🥴 Janis: can only dream Jimmy: 👑 Janis: chuck ourselves off the same bridge, loads of room to swim about Jimmy: 🧜🏽 Janis: know I beat you so bad boxing day but it's okay Janis: can't drown once you're 💀 Jimmy: bollocks did you Jimmy: could've broken all my ribs and I'd still 🏆 Janis: the fact you've brought up your handicap speaks 🔊 Jimmy: of how 💪🥇 I am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you're done being nice now, I get it Jimmy: 🦈 Janis: you don't like it when I'm nice really Jimmy: don't I? Janis: nah Janis: do you? Jimmy: you reckon you know my ✔ Jimmy: no need to answer Janis: if you wanna be my mate you clearly don't ✔ nice very highly Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you were talking bollocks when going on about how nice you ALWAYS are to me Janis: by my standards Janis: too nice Janis: but by everyone else's, not winning no 😇🏆 Jimmy: 1. I give out the 🏆 2. no fucker else has any standards around here Janis: what's your verdict then Jimmy: on how nice you are or how much I rate it? Janis: both Jimmy: what's my verdict on you asking questions you know the answer to, more like Janis: 😳 you Jimmy: you Janis: tell me how nice I am, go on 😏 Jimmy: make me Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: it don't work without your 👀 Janis: [🥺 selfie] Jimmy: rude Janis: no, I'm nice Jimmy: it'd be nice if you were here and I could just Janis: what would you do Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: I'm nice Janis: yeah Janis: I can say it Jimmy: might do but you can't take a compliment Janis: psh Jimmy: alright so if I 🗨 nobody's ever been this nice to me, you won't be 😳😳? Janis: maybe a 🤏 but you don't need to know Jimmy: I want to though Jimmy: your 😳 is high on my list Janis: because it makes me look so 🤓 Jimmy: it makes us even Janis: [adorable nerdiness] Jimmy: might not remember when I got on the 🚗 to tell you the story of being a twat but I do and when it happened an' all Jimmy: 😳 before it were 😎 me Jimmy: it's just something you can do, Janet 🏆👏🌹 Jimmy: to be fuming about but I'm not Janis: Then you won't be mad that I do remember Jimmy: 'course you do, you were 🙀 I were gonna fall off Janis: 'scuse me for not wanting to watch you get injured when I could have the pleasure of doing it myself Janis: not Lucas Jimmy: compared to him you're a saint Jimmy: but don't worry I won't let your shit nan know Janis: just not a watch in the cupboard type Janis: I wouldn't bring up the subject, she might assault you or something Jimmy: can't have that or any more time off work 🤐 Janis: 💔 Janis: the world needs it's caffeine and it's eyecandy Janis: can't be selfish like Jimmy: direct your 🎻🎻 @ my manager SO hard done by that I didn't do boxing day he's given me every shite shift going til we're in school Janis: what a prick Janis: what shifts will he be working, I wonder Jimmy: there you go with the questions you know the answers to, girl Jimmy: if it weren't a full time job pissing off Ian, what with him being so easy going and it taking ages to do his head in, I'd add him to the hit list an' all Janis: fair, did do that one for effect, babe Janis: they'll send him off to some over shithole and you'll have a new one in a month, s'what they do with managers, yeah Janis: not worth the 🕖 or 💪 Janis: other* Jimmy: 💔 it ain't what they do with Ian's role within his company Janis: a good sex pest is hard to come by Janis: keeping tight hold, like Jimmy: every other dickhead stopping at stealing 🖋s Jimmy: pisstake Janis: he must be good at whatever the fuck he's actually meant to be doing besides 👀🖐 Janis: try to be selective so we don't have no more famines n shit Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for the Q&A Janis: think I'm 😍 for accounts Janis: no tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gonna have to offer me something more to pretend to be 😍 for your dad, soz Jimmy: I'm alright for you not fake dating him an' all Janis: good Janis: not seeing how that would EVER make him wanna leave anyway Janis: such a delight Jimmy: when you 💔 him duh Jimmy: but it's still a no tah Janis: think of some way before resorting to that Jimmy: I'd stay before that Janis: I appreciate it Jimmy: me an' all that you don't wanna fuck my dad Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: right Janis: you don't look that alike Jimmy: I'll take that compliment Janis: you can definitely have it Jimmy: that'll be the nicest thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: even if I were about forever Janis: bit sly to challenge me to compliment you loads Janis: 🥰 you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: he's clearly just pissed he's past it, and weren't as 😎 as you to begin with Jimmy: we're all 💔🎻😭 he gave his best years to Debbie when there's loads of Sharons cracking on with doing their roots as we 🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😢 I know Janis: yet again, SUCH a shame my ma's a natural blonde Janis: been a widow for ages, give him some tips Jimmy: for her Jimmy: what a bloody catch she's missed out on there Janis: 💔🎻😭 all over again Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🤞 they've taken the mistletoe down in his office Janis: can he hang on 'til NYE Janis: such a lad, it seems unlikely Jimmy: the things that Q&A would be full of if you'd only crack on, girl Janis: I'm naturally curious, don't be rude Jimmy: 💀💀💀😼 Janis: you saw all the fuckers Janis: just more siblings Jimmy: and I had to tell our kid all their names Janis: 😏 Janis: unlucky Jimmy: you gonna stop pissing about and get fluent or what 🤓? Janis: oi Janis: give me a break, it hasn't ACTUALLY been that long, remember Jimmy: I get it, I'm no Mr Lucas 😭😭😭 Janis: who is Janis: 🏆 lifetime achievement best teacher ever Janis: anyway, I like it when you talk, remember Janis: only so much your brother and me need to 🗨 about Jimmy: I were more thinking about you pulling your weight when him and Libi 🗨 but alright Janis: how long did it take to learn it Janis: actually Janis: obviously you didn't before 👶 Jimmy: no different from learning any other, how good's your spanish? Jimmy: it's about how much you bother, have to every day Janis: makes sense, not like it's optional Janis: and my Spanish is pretty shit, Lucas don't teach it 💔 Janis: it's like Portuguese but barely know any of that either, shit nan being predictably shit Jimmy: what about 🍀? Janis: little better Janis: did offer my services in good faith earlier Jimmy: to answer your Q, still get things wrong and he's been about and deaf for ages Jimmy: but it says fluent on the CV, nowt else matters Janis: 👌 Janis: long as you got the basics down, he ain't 💀 any time soon Janis: might try it with my cousin Janis: she don't speak Jimmy: bring her on the playdate long as Libi won't be 💔 Jimmy: our kid could have a teaching 🏆 an' all Janis: her ma probably won't have that Janis: not Libi stealing my phone to come up with the excuses there Jimmy: she the one from church? Janis: 💀 crew's oldest member, yeah Jimmy: next time there's a catholic occasion, we'll steal the kid Jimmy: can't really stop us, her Janis: 🦴 as a weapon? Jimmy: better bring the 🐕 in case Janis: 💡🥇 Janis: alright, I'm down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you off that fucking 🚍 yet or what? Janis: how far have you even got Jimmy: if it was real 💕 you'd have got off to 🏃 an' all Jimmy: have met me in the middle Janis: thank god it's fake Janis: don't need us both aimlessly 🏃 about Janis: but I'm basically back now, so I will keep a 👀 out Jimmy: have a 🥃 if you've got owt left from that 🎁 dunno where I am Janis: put your location on so I can santa-track you Janis: know what you and 🐑 are like, you'll get well off track and well distracted Jimmy: nowt to do with your 👀 OBVS Jimmy: [does put his location on] Jimmy: Where am I then? Janis: you can compliment me when you're nearer Janis: well done for being in the right county Janis: 🤔 okay, hang on Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: I'm gonna get your dad's car and come find you Janis: may as well Jimmy: that's how lost I am 😒 Janis: that bus takes long enough Janis: I wanna see you now Jimmy: alright Janis: you didn't fuck up that horrifically Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it's even more classics that you're lost Janis: very goals Janis: really should pick you up on horse but fuck that Jimmy: fake a 🐴 when we tweet it, be alright Janis: as long as you're not feeling let down Jimmy: NEVER Janis: good Janis: so ✨ you Jimmy: I just wanna see you an' all Janis: 👀 at me long as you like Jimmy: very subtle challenge Janis: yeah, 'cos that's all I want Jimmy: need an even longer lens to stalk you from the north Jimmy: make the most of my 😍 dickhead Janis: 😒 Jimmy: what? Janis: nothing 'cept someone just got off at my stop so I might be about to be murdered Jimmy: Oi, I ain't falling for that again Jimmy: you're too 💪🏆🥇 baby, weren't that what you wanted me to say about the mugging? Janis: ugh Janis: so tough being this tough Jimmy: whoever that dickhead is can't 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: not part of the plan Janis: I'll let 'em know you said so Jimmy: 📢 OI Jimmy: my victim, piss off Janis: **fake girlfriend Jimmy: *best mate I've ever had Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: meant to be scaring off weirdos, not being soft Jimmy: just claiming you, Jessica, if you wanted to be pissed on, you should've said Janis: got to draw the line somewhere Jimmy: I'll chuck you a pen Jimmy: can stab that prick with it after Janis: 🧛👅🩸 Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: don't fill up on him Janis: come on Janis: I could never get enough of you Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: control your 🩸 lust for a bit longer, tah very much Jimmy: you can have all mine Janis: you know you've got all of mine Jimmy: hurry up and come here Janis: I am, I swear Jimmy: on what? Janis: my 👀s? Jimmy: both of them? Jimmy: if I have to craft you an eye patch I might as well fucking sign up for Pinterest Jimmy: be that mum Janis: do you have a preference? Janis: bit weird Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you do not Janis: you're taking the piss now Jimmy: am I? Jimmy: not telling you now, mate Janis: 😣 Jimmy: do you want me to have a favourite one? Janis: that's no sort of answer Jimmy: it's a question for you to answer, so go on Janis: I don't think you do Janis: but I wouldn't be mad if you did Jimmy: it's the one on my left Janis: I'm gonna have to stop to look Janis: and then look at yours when you get here Jimmy: no #hate to the other one Jimmy: it's just Janis: you're just Jimmy: I don't know how to explain Janis: you don't need to Janis: I get it Jimmy: might be able to get your head round it if you have a look Jimmy: no good with words, me Janis: it IS weird but I feel it too Janis: I've 👀 at you enough to have favourites and 👀 things that it feels Janis: 😳 to admit to noticing Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say you'd looked at yourself enough to have a favourite eye Janis: charming 😂 Jimmy: probably don't spread that about, babe Jimmy: I mean, I get it, if I were you'd I'd be in the mirror all the time an' all but Janis: you know what you look like Janis: #bigheadconfirmed Jimmy: I never said I don't look at myself loads in every shiny surface of the CG Jimmy: what else am I gonna 👀 @ the customers?! I'm alright for that Janis: don't blame you Janis: obvs Jimmy: so go on, you said you've got favs Janis: I am not giving you them all Janis: right now Jimmy: one for one Janis: fair enough Janis: your freckles Janis: the ones on your back, especially but all of them Jimmy: you should've said before now, I'd have chucked you a pen for them an' all Jimmy: be a bit rude of me to do it to yours Janis: I can use my hands Janis: not that I scratch with purpose or intent Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: I should 📸 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I won't get a weird close up of your eye or owt though Janis: do what you like Janis: just leave it off the feed if it ain't #goals Jimmy: whatever we do is #goals Janis: just too good Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: alright, I'm getting near, stay still now Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: though that does sound like you're 🙀🙀 of sudden movements Janis: just mean don't keep walking and walk right past me/into the headlights tah Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: I'll leave it out Janis: you'll be glad you did Jimmy: never been a letdown, you Janis: don't need to big me up until I prove it Jimmy: I'm only saying you have, not that you don't have to keep doing it Janis: have to? Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: [turn up] Janis: get in Jimmy: [does obvs but not before opening her car door and kissing her because simply must] Janis: [pulling him into the car on your side so you're both in the driver's seat now, having a moment] Jimmy: [fully support that wherever you are rn] Jimmy: [telling her he's missed her in between kisses when he's capable of forming words that don't just come out as sounds, we've probably had to have a few attempts at it lol] Janis: [she's not going to be any better so don't you worry boy, probably just keep saying 'I' and 'you' and not finishing any sentences here] Jimmy: [it's a mood and we all know it, like he's been drinking from Ian's stash but not enough that we can run away with ourselves, he's already said a lot of feelsy shit here, we see you and your fave eye sir] Janis: [we've said a lot without saying it in a way that seems serious af but we know honey we know] Jimmy: [not even doing it deliberately so it hurts more when she runs away, the feels are just naturally high and things be progressing] Janis: [mhmm, damn you shit nan, why you gotta ruin it] Jimmy: [she can't, you'll get back to this lads and beyond it] Janis: [that's true] Janis: [for now, stay in this car as long as you wanna, then go back to the cali gaff and live your best life some more] Jimmy: [soz fam that they can't bear to be separated] Janis: [its lowkey a good thing anyway, you can take the car to work/back to Ian, at least she's at home, like we all know you'll take that] Jimmy: [we all just want you to be happy hen] Janis: [though we are suspish/triggered by you Jimothy, we're not wilding yet Jimmy: [soz about that Jimothy, Liam really did you dirty] Janis: [oh lads, the fact we'll never really know the truth of that whole situ] Jimmy: [we really did something there, I love us] Janis: [do you think anyone would watch the tapes before Libi? 'cos like Ali would wanna but wouldn't but I could make a case that Ruster MIGHT, which would be drama] Jimmy: [oooh yeah good point, I do like the idea of that drama because I am rude] Janis: ['cos they could still come away from it thinking he was just a stalker or whatever we want] Janis: [but it would potentially give some closure before Libi is old enough to watch and understand 'cos they'd clearly love each other] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, I definitely think there's a lot of potential there with what they could take away from viewing all those vids] Janis: [okay, noted for later honeybuns] Janis: [is there anything we wanna vibe for tonight] Jimmy: [I think we've done a lot and this is probably getting long] Janis: [coolio hun]

[marie-x-beaulieu]

( summer bishil, 30, cisfemale, she / her ) Have you seen MARIE-ANNE BEAULIEU around ? I hear they’re a AVTORITYET / ESCORT AT EDEN who can sometimes be CYNICAL & IMPULSIVE. But I also heard they can be INDEPENDENT & EFFICIENT if you catch them on a good day. They’re usually hanging around JAVA ADDICT in their spare time. I sure hope they’re alright! 

TW: drug mention, prostitution, murder, vague mention of child neglect

- B A S I C -

Name: Marie-Anne Beaulieu Nickname(s): Marie - she usually just goes by this. Age: 30 Occupation:  Avtorityet / Escort at Eden Affiliation: Vasile Birthday: May 28th Zodiac: Gemini Place of Birth: Paris, France Ethnicity: Mexican / Caucasian / Indian Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Languages Spoken: French (fluent - first language), Spanish (fluent) and Russian (the basics only)

- F A M I L Y -

Father: Unknown Mother: Bernadette (deceased) Sibling(s): None  Children: Henry (1 1/2 years old)

- A P P E A R A N C E -

Height: 5′6′’ Weight: 117lbs Hair Color / Type: Light brown, long and slightly wavy Eye Color: Dark brown Piercings / Tattoos: A few small tats here and there; tongue piercing, ears & cartilage piercings Best Features: Her smile. Pinterest Board: x

- P E R S O N A L I T Y -

(+) Independent, Reliable, Efficient, Loyal, Resourceful (-) Cynical, Impulsive, Aloof, Cold-Hearted, Selfish

- L I K E S / D I S L I K E S -

Likes:

Spending time with her son, Henry

Dancing

Drinking (she’s borderline a alcoholic)

Getting high (but only occasionally)

Having sex - m/f...doesn’t matter

Getting paid

Working for the Vasile

Killing

Being frugal, but also spending her hard-earned cash - she’s a bit of a walking contradiction with this one.

Dislikes:

Women & Child Abusers

Openly showing her emotions

Feeling her feelings

People in general, even though she works with them for a living

- B I O G R A P H Y -

Was born in Paris, France, to a single teenaged mother. Bernadette was sixteen when she had Marie.

Her mother was a runaway - she left home at fourteen after a fallout with her parents, and two years later, had Marie. To support herself and her daughter, Bernadette took up sex work - she did everything she could at the time, to earn money. She danced, she stripped and she sold her body. Got really heavy into drugs, and never really stopped.

Although they had a place to live, and she went to school like a normal kid, Marie still pretty much grew up on the streets of Paris. More specifically, in the red light district, as that was where her mother worked. She was exposed to pretty much everything a child shouldn’t be exposed to: neglect, sex, drugs, alcohol, violence...you name it, she very likely saw it go down.

Her mother often snuck her into the back of the clubs that she worked in, and while her mother went off to do her thing, she had the other girls watch Marie, collectively, hiding her in the dressing rooms.

Hands down, Bernadette Beaulieu was a terrible mother. She was selfish, childish and negligent. She never once showed even a little concern for her daughter and how being exposed to such an environment might possibly effect her. She’d already deemed Marie a lost cause, same as her.

Growing up in strip clubs and such places like that, and watching not just her mother but the other ladies, Marie pretty much learned the skills and how to acquire the proper tools of the trade: how to dance, do her makeup, and how to dress in a way that both enticed and intrigued the desired clientele.

Not that she put any of it to use immediately. It wasn’t until she was seventeen and her mother went missing for several weeks before her body was found floating in the Sein River (she’d been strangled to death), that Marie found herself having to make a living on her own. Just barely out of school and she was orphaned, homeless, broke and starving - it was then that she stepped onto a stage for the first time, more naked than she’d ever been in public before. 

First it was exotic dancing and then stripping, but when even that proved to not make her enough money to pay rent and food - as Paris was a notoriously expensive place to live - she started selling her body, and her time, becoming an escort. Started at the bottom, but quickly rose to being one of the highest paid and most sought after escorts in the district. She was young, beautiful, feisty...and the men loved that, apparently.

Marie strangely loved her job, more so than you’d probably expect, but then she grew up in the industry so it was all she knew. 

She loved sex, she truly did. She loved how powerful she felt during the act, even when she wasn’t the one completely in control. And fuck, did she love being the one in control.

She had the heart of a dominatrix, but when she smiled at you, you’d never know it, for she looked like a real softy. That said, she rarely smiled, so that wasn’t really a problem.

She killed for the first time a few months after she started working. It was in self defense, of course; a male client who decided that ‘rough play’ meant something entirely different. It wasn’t as difficult as she she thought it was, taking a life, nor covering up the murder - and she quickly became an expert at both.

She didn’t know it at the time, but her first kill hadn’t gone as unnoticed as she thought, but thankfully it wasn’t by the police, but rather a recruit for the Russian mafia, temporarily stationed in Paris. Impressed by her cleverness and instincts when it came to covering up her tracks, Yakov approached her and offered to mentor her, and train her more extensively in fighting and how to kill, with the full intent of recruiting her into the Vasile gang. It hadn’t taken her long to say yes to the offer.

After accepting Yakov’s offer to train her, they both agreed that continuing her work as a sex worker was not only a great cover but a great training ground. A lot of her targets frequented the red light district, which made it overall rather easy (and more fun) to lure them in.

At twenty-three - after six years of vigorous training with Yakov - she made her way to Chicago, where she went through the initiation, and finally becoming a marked Vasile and one of their assassins. 

Deciding to stay in the city, she once more became an escort as more for a cover than because she needed the money or the work.

Two years passed, before Marie met Malachi Reed, an older gentleman who worked at Forty-Three as a bartender. It wasn’t love at first sight, not by any means - Marie wasn’t the type of girl to fall in love so easily, or really show those kinds of feelings. To her, love was very foreign concept. 

In fact, up until she and Malachi started seeing each other, she had never actually been in a relationship. She’d gone on dates, sure, but nothing other than sex ever came of them. After all, not many men wanted to date a woman who slept with other people for a living - either that, or they offered to take her away and ‘give her a better life’, as if real life was some fucking fairytale that could be escaped so easily.

With Malachi, things were different, which was the only reason she even consented to the idea of dating him in the end. He had been very open-minded, and hadn’t been fazed by her being an escort, accepting that she was a woman simply trying to make a living just like everyone else.

She didn’t inform him about her main job, however. The fact that she worked for one of the main gangs in the city never so much as left her lips, in the two years that they were together.

A year into their relationship, Marie fell pregnant with her son, Henry. He’d been a awful surprise, in the best and worst possible way. She had never wanted a child, so the thought of motherhood had never appealed to her in the slightest. In her line of work, she’d always been careful, taken precautions, but for some reason being with Malachi had completely short-circuited her brain. 

She’d been downright furious when she had discovered she was pregnant, and she had stayed that way for pretty much the entirety of her pregnancy. It wasn’t until Henry was actually born and she was looking at her newborn son’s face for the first time, that the resentment finally melted away, only to be replaced by fear - knowing that she was now responsible for this little person that she’d stupidly and selfishly brought into the world. 

In the end, being a mother was hard work, but it was definitely rewarding and she couldn’t have asked for a more perfect little boy. That said, she would be the first to admit that there were days when she still had doubt and selfish thoughts of fleeing from the responsibility - because being a parent was hard as fuck and she didn’t always have the patience.

Of course, the new found joy of motherhood was quickly overshadowed by the disappearance of Malachi, not five months later. She had no idea where he was, or why he disappeared. Did he leave on his own? Was he killed? Caught in the gang war that was going on within the city? There was literally no clues. 

The only thing she could think of was that he’d willingly left...despite all of his stuff still being at their apartment. It beat thinking his body was possibly laying in a ditch somewhere, and it allowed her to feel something towards the situation that wasn’t overwhelming grief over the death of a beloved one (although she was still in denial that she’d loved him). She felt anger, and resentment. Towards Malachi, specifically, because he was the only one she could blame.

After his disappearance, Marie moved into the Vasile manor with Henry, and they’ve been there ever since.

- W A N T E D   C O N N E C T I O N S -

Her missing boyfriend, Malachi Reed. Name can be changed, obviously. Anyways, this would be such a great connection that is open to so many plot possibilities. (Suggested FCs: Chris Hemsworth, Joseph Morgan, Ryan Guzman, UTP). He’d definitely be 32+

Vasile Connections - ALWAYS!

Co-Workers

Clients

Love Interest (someone to finally melt this little ice queen’s heart)

Friends

Enemies

Any other sort of connections, tbh - I’m literally open to everything!

[southernxwolf]

Just a Checkup | Q&J

What: Jason hits his head working on a car and goes to Qhuinn to get it checked out. Talk inevitably turns to Clay and how she’s doing, but they reach a temporary understanding.

Where: The clinic

When: Roughly two weeks ago?

TW’s: Death and anxiety/depression mentions

@professor-shaw

Jason: Jason Shaw hadn't wanted to be here in the first place but when he showed up with a slight concussion in his head, none of his convincing had worked against his co-workers. It had just been an accident...the end result of bumping his head against the running board of a car and yes, he was fine...so why on earth was he in the hospital for that? He had other things to get to. Letting out a nervous exhale, the human rubbed lightly against the gauze on the corner of his forehead and kept on waiting for his name to be called..not even daring to look around. It was somewhen between his doing that and wanting to reach for his phone, that..the blessed moment came. "...qhuinn?" Jace frowned, glancing up with a slightly unsure look on his face...not knowing how to feel about ..her or anything, really. But that would just be his luck. He stood up after a moment, swallowing and nodded at her instruction and joined her in the nurse's office, leaving his jacket in one of them pegs.. "It's nothin' I promise. I just..don't know what I was thinkin' and..hit my head."

Qhuinn: Seeing Jason at the clinic would have been cause for concern on a normal day. Her friend wasn't typically the careless or accident-prone type, much unlike herself. So it must have been pretty serious for him to be there. Of course, that wasn't the only thing on Qhuinn's mind as she looked over his chart with a small sigh. Admittedly, she had been avoiding him. Surely he knew about Clay by now, and she didn't think that she could stand to see the accusation, pity, sadness, etc. in those clear green eyes. But she couldn't side-step him forever. It was stupid, it wasn't them. And she missed him like iced coffee on a hot island day. So the wolf put on her best smile, straightening her Gryffindor print scrubs as she looked with obvious worry at his handsome face. "Hmm..I'll be the judge of that. What happened? Someone try to take the last piece of pie from you?" She teased, leaning in to gently kiss his cheek.

Jason: "Had an accident. At the auto-repair." Jason managed a faint smile at her words, hesitant to lean into the kiss at first..like he normally would, and glanced down at his hands, clasped in the middle. It was just so easy to forget that something was not quite right around her or that this was the first time he had seen her in..what? days? If that wasn't alarming enough, he didn't know what was. Shifting slowly, he let out a slight groan at the removal of the gauze and bit his lip, lest that he should say something he didn't want to say and waited patiently as she turned to her medical supplies...watching. "You've been okay?"

Qhuinn: His hesitating, and the emotions that came with it, nearly broke through the façade that Qhuinn had tried as hard as she could to cultivate in the past few weeks. It didn't stop her from nuzzling into him though, breathing in that familiar scent that was a comforting to her as Quinten's. The scent of blood and feeling of pain soon distracted her in a good way, giving her a purpose. "I missed you" She started, as Jason spoke at the same time. Chuckling softly, the wolf pulled on a pair of gloves and got busy cleaning the dried blood from his cut. "Yeah, pretty much. Just a little tired. That last spell really threw me. Took a bit longer to recover this time" She explained. Who would have thought there would be a time when she would be grateful for one of the island's crap shows, even if only as an excuse for her mood?

Jason: "Pretty much?" Jason huffed in disbelief, soft..still, just honestly caught a little bit off guard by the natural ease in her voice. Like they were only two friends..who'd gone a couple of days without talking and had no clue about ..well, that other thing. Perhaps it just scared him how good she was getting at putting up an act that he'd sounded questioning without intending it to, one of his hands reaching across to still the movement of hers..and hopefully land a good look into her eyes.. "..you know I can't stand it when you're not honest with me. I mean-- we're supposed to tell each other everythin'..right?" Jace added, bothered.. "We're supposed to be there for eachother..and I can't help but feel you've kept me out. I need to know why."

Qhuinn: Qhuinn just blinked at his words in tone, her perfectly set neutral expression giving away none of the turmoil that she felt inside. And it couldn't. She felt beyond guilty for not opening up to Jason or Quinten, or anyone but Lexi. But it was her only way of holding herself together. If she opened up more, even just a little, she felt as if she were going to break beyond repair. "I don't know what you mean" She insisted, smile tight and eyes vacant as she continued her work. "I'm here Jason. I'm always here. I barely left the island all summer, which is why I'm probably so worn out too. You can reach out and come and see me whenever you want too" Qhuinn pointed out, side-stepping the real issue with an ease of someone used to such a thing. "Ow..you did knock yourself a good one. What were you doing?"

Jason: Being met with such an unfaced exterior gave Jason a little bit of..a deja vú, practically reminded of the way Layla looked at him herself these days right then and there. It was a difficult thing to be on the opposite end of and for some reason, it upset him more than he ever planned on..his eyes projecting some of it to the she-wolf. "Really? You don't..?" he whispered, shifting away from her touch for a second to hopefully grip her attention and separate her from what was distracting her, even if it was taking care of him and the big concussion on his head. He just grabbed her hand and slowly released it into a gentle hold, "I don't think it matters what I was doin'...I know you know about Clay, Qhuinn..and the last thing I want to do is burden you, but I can't be forced to pretend it's all good around you.." His tone was commanding, a little bit angry..but understanding to an extent, "..why wouldn't you tell me..? Why does everybody just push me away from this...?"

Qhuinn: Wow... There really were varying levels of guilt. Just when Qhuinn thought that she couldn't feel lower about herself or worse about what she was doing to the two most important people in her life, she found out that she damn well could. And if Jason felt this bad..what was Quinten thinking? Was she going to cause the end of their relationship? Crossing her arms, the small wolf squared her shoulders and faced the well-deserved onslaught of what her behavior had caused. She'd hurt him, badly. And whatever her reasoning for it was, there was no excuse. But that didn't cause her to let down her walls; not even for him. She couldn't. Jason moving from her touch had the effect that she assumed he'd desired, and Qhuinn looked up, blinking a little in surprise. Then he said those words, said his name. And all she wanted to do was drop everything and throw herself against that sturdy chest as she cried. Screamed. Let out all of the grief and anger she continued to bottle up. But she couldn't. Because she was scared that she would never stop. "I'm sorry. Jason..I am so truly sorry. You know that's not me..you know me. But I couldn't. I..." Her resolve began to crumble then, eyes flashing ice blue as her lips trembled. "I can't. I can't" Qhuinn repeated, shaking her head. "Let me see about your head. Please."

Jason: Jason tried to swallow the pressure building in his chest, ease the tension on his shoulders somehow, but it was harder than he thought, his eyes capturing the way hers flickered for a second. That's when he knew that she was holding back, possibly ten times what she was choosing to show him, and that in itself worked to shut him up..for now, "..it's okay." he shook his head too, squeezing at the hand, "..I just..wish you would let me be there for ya..now, two weeks ago..I don't know.." The hurt was still very much there but it was slowly being replaced by worry..growing even as he agreed to let her continue taking care of his cut.. If she was not talking about this, he thought, then..how on earth was she..dealing? This couldn't be healthy...

 Qhuinn: Could she do it, Qhuinn thought, as she looked into that familiar face that she adored so deeply. Could she let herself go, knowing that he and Quinten would pick her back up again? The small wolf looked into those earnest eyes...and for the second time in their relationship, backed out of telling him the truth. She was a fucking coward, and a terrible friend and girlfriend. But she just couldn't do it. At least not yet. So Qhuinn simply nodded sadly, a thin shoulder rising and falling in a shrug. "You are here, Quint too. I know you both are. But I can't Jason, and..I'm sorry. I'm sorry" Icy eyes met emerald as she allowed him to fully look at her, silently pleading for his understanding. They could nearly read each others minds at times, and she was depending on just that. With nothing more to say, she continued to tend to his head. "How's Indy doing?" And with that, the door to the Clay thing was slammed shut. For now.

Jason: Jace would have kept holding her hand for as long he could, hopefully letting her know that while upset, he was still there for her, no matter what happened. It just was so surreal to see how vacant she had become..how unlike herself, but he knew he couldn't possibly get her to confess all of what she had been feeling. Not if it was at the risk of loosing her.. So, yes..he shook his head at it and summoned a faint smile, "I know." he said, reading her perfectly fine before feeling those fingers dabbing into his wound again, reaping the occasional hiss from his lips. "..he's doin' fine. Better than he was a couple of weeks ago..but uh, the doctors said it'd be a slow process." At least, he thought, he was capable of running a bit. "..how's my head?"

Qhuinn: He had to let go. If he didn't soon, Qhuinn was going to lose her already fragile grip on her emotions. And herself. Keep it together, you can do this.., Qhuinn told herself, relief visibly flooding her body when Jason indeed read her as well as she knew he would. That 'I know', the two simple words that said so much more, was all Qhuinn needed to hear. "Thank you.." She whispered, glad to turn her attention back to his injuries, and Indy. "That's good. He's a trooper, like his Daddy" She smiled tightly. "He's going to make it through just fine. I'll make him another batch of treats, he likes the peanut butter ones, right?" Qhuinn struggled a bit at first, but soon had her voice sounding almost normal to her own ears. At the question, she gave a thoughtful hum. "I think you'll survive. May have a concussion though..hold on." The small nurse finished patching up the wound, then washed her hands and approached Jason again with a penlight. "Need to check your pupils. Look at me.."

Jason: Jason smiled at the thought of Indy being just like she described and felt a slight wave of reassurance at the offers being made, thinking that they sounded just like his friend..even if for just a fraction. "..yeah, about that..do you think you can double the treats? Just..make the second batch slightly more suitable for humans..?" He was sure the dog ones were just as tasty, given by the sole fact she had been the one to make them, but perhaps it was best to be on the safer side. As she gave him her take on his little concussion, he parted his legs slightly and tilted his head up..doing as told whilst taking a second look at her.  Suddenly, despite not forgetting about the elephant in the room, Shaw just felt the need to just..talk to her, and let his lips part softly.."..I've been thinkin' about moving houses.."

Qhuinn: Qhuinn had to laugh at the request, shaking her dark head. It was just so normal, so Jason, that it almost made her feel like everything was going to work out and that she could keep up her charade. "I think that I can manage that. It's fall now too, apple pie season. Maybe I can sneak a few of those in as well" She actually gave a genuine smile at that, thinking of the cute little fall and Halloween shapes that she could use for Indy's treats. Good to know that there was still some joy left in here. When Jason's legs parted, Qhuinn couldn't help but take the invitation, moving as much between them as she could while still being able to examine his eyes. Touching his chin gently, she kept his head still while shining the light into his eyes. Yep..pupils were slightly dilated. "Okay, follow my finger" Qhuinn murmured, stepping back slightly and moving a small finger before Jason's face. She watched the movements of his eyes, brows arching slightly at the statement. "Really? What ah..what does Layla think of that? And Lex?"

Jason: Even in a concussion-like state, Shaw's eyes still lit up momentarily at the addition of pie to the list..indicating he was not as far gone as one might've had it, and he smiled, letting her know he was keen to her decision. "..you're the best." he mumbled, sounding only a bit off this time. It was a relief to see that somehow all of what had happened had not made her forget how to laugh..it meant that there was hope..somehow. And he made himself promise right there and there he would find a way to piece the pieces back together, no matter how long it took. Allowing her light touch to tilt his face up further, the human tried to follow the finger best as he could, hearing her question with pressed lips. "..yeah--see, they don't know. But it's been makin' me feel quite stuck for a while now..and after all that's happened..I might need a new chapter. Much as it hurts.." he managed, "I don't know that there's much hope in either of those fronts right now."

Qhuinn: Well that was a good sign, Qhuinn thought with a chuckle, as Jason's eyes flared as she figured they would when she said the 'P' word. "I know" She laughed shortly, though the sound was just as off as his own voice. They were trying, no one could say that they weren't. But it was a strain that Qhuinn hoped was only temporary. Their relationship was one of the few constants that she had left in her life right now. A small frown creased the wolf's face as she watched the off-kilter movements of Jason's eyes. Yep..a concussion for sure. And the stubborn jackass had probably driven himself over here. "Well, you do have a slight concussion, and I want to do some liquid stitches on that cut. But I think you'll live" Qhuinn smiled lightly, kissing a clean spot on his forehead as he spoke, nodding. "I can understand that. And, for what it's worth..I think that it's a great idea. You've needed this for a while now. You need something that's just yours. And something that happens to be nearby a certain wolf and angel's own houses..but that should go without saying"

Jason: Jason let out another one of those grunts past his tight lips and frowned lightly, shifting his head back to its natural position when she withdrew her touch. "I can do with some stitches.." he nodded, feeling his eyes flutter closed for a second at that kiss. Such being a natural reaction with her always. And it felt good..to hear her approve of his idea, knowing he had been struggling with making his decision for as long as he had, debating whether he could part ways with his man cave there..that back yard, those rooms.. it had even got him teary eyed at some point, but it needed to be done. "..would you help me look? If I'm doin' this...it needs to be perfect--and I can't do this without you." Jace said, turning his words into a soft plea --a promise that she would take care of herself to be there.

Qhuinn: "I can do regular stitches if you'd rather. Add to your whole baddass image and all. Maybe even add an eye patch" Qhuinn joked with a small smirk. As she leaned in for the soft kiss to his forehead, she couldn't help but linger there to breath in his scent once again. "I really did miss you Jason.. I can't seem to stay away from you for very long, no matter the reason. Guess you're never gonna shake me, huh?" Qhuinn chuckled a bit, smoothing back his sandy hair before getting what she needed for the stitches. She turned just in time for his question..and to hear that tone in his voice and the look in his eyes. Like she could ever say no to that.. "You know I will, you don't even need to ask" She replied, in a small whisper. "Just let me know when you're ready, and I'm there. I'm still here Jace..I'm always still here" Qhuinn assured him, moving to his side again. "So what's it gonna be? Liquid, or the old needle and thread?"

Jason: "Are they gonna make me heal better?" Jace wondered aloud, having to roll his eyes playfully at her little eye-patch comment even as she leaned over to press her soft lips against his forehead. It was sweet..and he did breathe in her scent as much as she did his, feeling a wave of relief at the next few words to come out of the she-wolf. "...I missed you too.." And he hoped that he never did shake her.. "I'm here too, sweetheart..and I ain't goin' nowhere, you know that too..right?" Relaxing back against that medical bed, Jace pressed his back up against the wall and seemed to breathe with a lot more ease. Maybe he was ready, after all.. "Whatever you want."

Qhuinn: "They'll do about the same. The liquid stitches are just more convenient, especially for active people. I always suggest them first, unless the cut is too deep" Qhuinn explained, grinning lightly at his eye-roll. Maybe they really could do this, carry on as normal as possible until she was ready for more. Though even as the though occurred to her, she knew that it wasn't possible. Even now, her body nearly itched to get away, to shift and release the pain and rage that their conversation had caused. Not that she would ever let that on. At his words, Qhuinn simply stared back with gray eyes that had already dulled again. "I thought that he was never going anywhere either. But yeah..I know baby. And I love you all the more for saying it" Another tight smile, then the gloves were on again. "Alright, liquid it is"

[anonthenullifier]

Post Hoc- Ch. 2

An “And They Were Research Collaborators!” AU

Chapter 2: Design Overview

Summary: Wanda and Vision map out how they will approach their collaboration.

AO3 Link

Note: IRB = Institutional Review Board. They review all studies that involve human participants to make sure they are ethical before collecting data.

Wanda stares at the empty pan behind the steamed tilapia sign and sighs, shuffling to the left and scooping what is supposedly a vegetable stew into her to-go box. This setback is par for her day, one filled with a series of disappointing if nots. Like if not for waking up late she would have packed her lunch and if not for Nat having a meeting and Sam working in the field she wouldn't be alone for lunch. Then, if not for needing to work on her grant, which has to be sent to the grant development office for revisions and suggestions by the end of the week, she’d have gone out to get some fresh air and better food.  

Really she can go even further than today. If not for her first yearly review she wouldn’t be scrambling to put something together right now. And, if not for spending her first year on joining Reed’s team to apply for that multimillion dollar quantum loop grant he just secured, she would have already applied for her own funding. But she didn’t and that’s why even though she was applauded for her cooperative research with the other physicists, she was also informed, in very professional and not technically threatening words, that at such a highly regarded institution it wasn't good enough to always be a co-author or secondary investigator. 

Wanda breathes in and tries to ignore the abyss of her future, which will be easier to do with a brownie as a treat for when her methodology is done. 

Three feet to the left and she discovers that all that remains is the sign and a couple of crumbs. That seems fair. It’s not like she’ll even manage to get the methodology done today, her mind scattered in a hundred different directions on what exactly she wants to do with quantum chaos theory. The higher ups not only expect her to be a primary investigator with some significant external funding all her own, but they also demand novelty.  She knows she can get there, but it takes time, which she doesn’t currently have. 

Cutting her losses, she pays and heads off to her hermitage, to-go container clutched in her hands and head down, desperate not to get roped into lunch with any colleagues. Not that she doesn’t like them, but she reserves her mental and social energy for the required meetings. Plus, knowing her day, she’d probably get to hear all about one of their exciting and creative grants that happens to also scoop her idea and put her back to square one. 

As she nears the exit, something in her periphery catches her eye and she turns subtly to investigate. The object of attention is the lanky form and blonde hair of a certain psychologist. Great . Things went a little uncomfortably silent after her suggestion at the bar the other week and she hasn’t seen or heard from Vision since. Yet there he is. There's a part of her that feels like she should go over and apologize, worried she may have fractured his sense of scientific integrity though Natasha claims he’s fine, simply busy with adjusting to a new job and not gifted at social interactions. The majority of her conscience isn’t particularly concerned with him right now, more than happy to give him space and lots of time to exist in a state of being busy or terrified of her, either reality meaning she has more time to work on her research. And yet she can’t seem to find the confidence to keep walking towards her office. 

Is this how a particle feels when it goes to leap to a new position only to discover it’s entangled with another one thousands of miles away? This desperation to have free will while also feeling an inexplicable pull towards the movement of his sweater clad shoulders as he hunches forward? 

Wanda caves to his quantum energy and heads towards the psychologist, hoping the interaction will free her to go back to work. “Mind if I join you?”

If she was surprised by their entanglement, he’s clearly uncomfortable by it, response a little delayed as he moves his attention from the book in his hand ( Seven Brief Lessons on Physics ) to her face. The slow blink of his eyes could be a startle or that look you give to the person whom you find annoying beyond words and who also still keeps talking to you. Then his ambiguity breaks into a friendly smile, the book waving at the chair across from him, “Not at all, please.”

“What are you,” as she sits down she catches a glimpse of his lunch, mind veering into a different universe, “No, they had peanut butter today!”

His brow wrinkles, smoothing out once he follows her eyes to the beautiful, plump, peanut butter frosted brownie on his tray. “Oh, yes. I usually do not have dessert, but Sean-“

Wanda assumes he’s talking about one of the other psychologists that Sam has also mentioned, “He’s the pheromone guy, right?”

Vision’s, “Correct,” is layered with so much disquiet she is tempted to switch topics and see if he agrees with Sam’s own passionate views of Sean. “But he told me to try one as it would, according to him, ‘change my life’.” It will and it explains why the tray was empty today, those brownies coveted at the institute, the only true unifying belief amongst all of them. “Would you like to split it?”

If not for the fact he was already in the process of cutting it in half, she would have been polite and refused, but you can’t put a brownie back together, right? ”Only if you don’t want all of it.”

“I don’t.”

Wanda accepts the napkin holding her prize and begins to realign their conversation to the reason she joined him, starting small in case he shuts down like he did at the bar. “That’s a good book.” She nods towards the black cover speckled with stardust. It’s the same book she sent to Pietro after he told her he didn’t know how to explain to his co-workers what his sister did. 

“So far, yes.” Only now does she also see Vision’s notebook, margin to margin filled with impeccable handwriting and straight arrows forming various diagrams. “I attempted to read some of your more recent publications,” Wanda holds her breath, preparing for the typical condescension she receives from men outside her field whenever they speak of her work, “and though they are exquisite and elegant, I found my literacy in the area itself severely lacking to grasp the full meaning of your work.”

This isn’t usually how these things go, his eyes turned down instead of up and his voice absent that searing cockiness implying the disconnect in understanding is her fault. She doesn’t know how to handle genuineness, her defenses already built up for rebuttal. “You do know that you don’t have to be a physics expert since that’s my job, right?”

“I am more than aware,” the armor of goodwill might actually tighten around him, “I am simply curious about the field and wish to have some level of knowledge going into our collaboration.”

There’s no deceit evident in what he says. “Um, well, Rovelli is a good start then.”

Vision nods enthusiastically, “It is very accessible,” then his nod lessens into a discerning glance towards his notes, “though it is leaving me with more questions than answers.”

“Welcome to physics.” Unlike her last joke to him, this one he picks up on, a tiny, slightly boyish smile that seems to imply the same joke would work if you replaced physics with psychology. But Wanda isn’t here to talk about physics and doesn’t have the time to likely answer the questions in his notebook, so she moves them along. “Speaking of our collaboration, any thoughts?”

His face and shoulders drop, eyes staring at his spoon stirring the opaque broth in the bowl, his entire demeanor seeming less like the friendly man from moments before and more like a marionette with a lazy operator, the spoon stirring and stirring. Wanda begins picking at the half brownie, waiting for him to reach a thought. She decides that five minutes of this soul crushing silence will be her breaking point to call off the original idea and go with something less ridiculous. Vision only makes it thirty seconds. “I believe,” the words pull his face back up, their eyes meeting, “if we can overcome the ethical and logistical hurdles then it is plausible.”

That’s better than she anticipated. “Okay,” Wanda pushes her lunch to the side, arms coming to cross on the table while she leans forward and settles in, “what are the hurdles?”

“Well, first of all with such a paradigm we would not be able to get informed consent.”

Somehow they’ve already moved from an idea at a bar to a paradigm. “Why not? What’s the paradigm?”

Vision turns back five or so pages in his notebook and then slides it across the table. On the paper she sees several boxes connected with arrows, labeled with numbers that are then explained in the legend at the bottom. It’s gorgeous, aesthetically speaking. “If we truly want to examine gift giving of billionaires,” the idea still tastes bitter in his mouth, the entirety of his presence recoiling at merely saying it, “we have to set up a realistic fake wedding, likely through a wedding website.” He motions for her to turn the page, revealing a sketch of said website. “This site will be sent with the invitation and the RSVP would be here, so we can track it.”

For a man so on edge with the idea, he has it fairly well planned. “And if we get informed consent then…”

“Then we will have told them what we are studying and they will know it is a sham wedding, thus reducing the likelihood of realistic participation.”

Which makes sense. “The issue is?”

“Not receiving informed consent typically requires a full board review by the IRB.”

Wanda has heard Sam complain about the IRB, particularly about the wait time for approval and the, as he calls it, idiotically narrow view of the federal regulations, so she has a small inkling of the horror in Vision’s voice at what sounds like an even more in depth review by the board. “Which we don’t want,” he nods, affirming her read of him, “does it count if we tell them afterwards what happened?”

A toothy grin breaks across his face, “Precisely my thoughts,” he motions for her to turn the page again, revealing a bulleted list of thoughts. “If we have consent afterwards, then we may be able to get around it. Of course we also have to consider how to return any gifts to them.”

“They’re billionaires, not like they’ll miss it.”

This is the wrong thing to say, the joy of empiricism dropping from his face, the same way it did the other night. “Ethically speaking, it would go against the principle of Justice in the Belmont Report.”

“Okay,” whatever this report is, it is clearly near and dear to his heart, “so when we are done we send them all a consent form asking if we can use their data and what they want done with their gift?”

He nods along with his, “Correct. Perhaps we provide different options like returning it or donating it to a specific charity.”

That seems like a reasonable suggestion. “What else?”

Vision glances at his wrist, prompting Wanda to find a clock on the wall and experience the always wonderful chest tightening of anxiety when a day is already half over and she’s gotten nothing done. “I am afraid I need to go back to my lab,” a statement that should elicit relief but she’s a little sad, for some reason, likely because this was an okay distraction from the rest of her bad day.

“Why don’t you send me the list of topics and we can meet up in a few days once my grant is done?”

“Of course.” 

Vision gathers up his reading materials and slides them into a brown leather bag. The next words out of her mouth are a surprise to both of them, “Oh and if you have any questions from Rovelli, feel free to email me.”

This garners an appreciative curve on his lips and a slight downturn of his eyes as he takes in the offer. “I will, thank you.” He stands and it is still a disorienting and mesmerizing sight to behold. “Good luck with your grant.”

“Thanks.” 

By the time Wanda is back to her lab and settled in at her computer, lunch container open and partially eaten brownie placed reverently out of reach, she already has an email from Vision with the subject line Logistical and Ethical Issues...and Some Questions . She opens the email and slides it over to her left monitor with the intention of reading over it whenever she needs a break. 

“The place looks nice!” Natasha’s voice reaches him over the soft jazz streaming out of his computer, her eyes roaming over the newest furnishings of his lab as she walks into the room. “Nice you finally have a place for people to sit.”

“It is.” And she uses it, plopping into the chair several feet away from him. Even though he was aware of the sparsity of his furniture (apparently the only standard equipment for their lab spaces are a desk, a chair, and a table), he hadn’t actually cared until his meeting with Wanda and the abject horror he felt at her having to sit on his table. “I think I need to get a few more filing cabinets, but otherwise it is suitable.”

“Probably some wall art too, it’s a little drab.”

“I like it that way.”

Natasha smirks, the same way she does anytime they come to a difference of opinions. “I know, you’re no fun.” A statement that, if actually true, would run counter to their years long friendship. “Want to be fun and get some dinner?”

A tempting offer if he didn’t have so much to finish before his meeting with Sociology tomorrow. “I can’t.” There is no reason to completely forego the offer, and he always finds a delay of gratification necessary for him to be productive. If he wants to finish his work tonight, he needs to lay a promise of reward. “I could meet for breakfast tomorrow?” 

“Fine.” Natasha gracefully stands from the chair, slinging her laptop bag across her chest as if she is leaving. Only she doesn’t move, “What do you think of Wanda?” A discerning and dangerous flicker moves across her face as she waits for him to answer. 

“She seems pleasant to work with so far.”  

The answer is not enough based on the disbelief etched into every inch of Natasha’s stance. “That’s it, just pleasant?”

“We have only actually spoken face-to-face four times, two of them very brief.” 

This still does not sate Natasha’s curiosity, nor does it reveal to him why it seems to matter so much. There’s more she wants to say, her knuckles growing white the tighter she grips the strap of her bag. And then her fingers loosen, as does her face, an amiable yet empty smile flashed in his direction. “I’ll see you in the morning. Our usual?”

“Yes.”

“Night.”

“Goodnight.” He watches her leave before turning back to his computer, the meeting agenda half-finished and staring at him on the screen. It is likely, he imagines from past experience, that Natasha’s aim is simply to help him be more sociable, something that a person like Natasha deems necessary in life. Not that she is dependent upon people (the opposite, in fact), merely that to her it is an essential part of joy. He agrees, to an extent, but also finds solitude freeing and required, a classic introvert. Not that personality factors determine everything in life, he would never give that branch of psychology so much credit. 

A two note chime alerts him to a new email, likely a memo about safety goggles in the chemistry labs being mandatory for all visitors after what Natasha told him happened the other day. Vision clicks over to his inbox and is pleasantly surprised to see the sender is MaximoffW . 

He isn’t sure why he is pleasantly surprised. As he told Natasha, other than some meetings, he has not actually gotten to know his collaborator. His affective response is likely due to mere exposure given the string of emails they have sent over the last couple of days and also that he seems to notice her more and more around the institute, mainly getting an afternoon tea or at the vending machines in the main lounge. Which itself is simply the Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon. Now that he knows who Wanda is, he actually recognizes her, thus he believes he is seeing her more, and, due to mere exposure, the more he sees her the more positively he responds to her presence. It is simple psychology, nothing more. 

Inside the email is a brief response to his last question - This will do a better job than me at explaining it and then there is a link to a video on the double slit experiment, the most recent line of inquiry they’ve been discussing in terms of the behavior of matter. He watches the video three times, jotting key points and additional questions each time in the section of his notebook he has now dedicated to learning physics. After the third time, he contemplates what to write back. At first it’s That was very insightful! but he deletes it, the cursor blinking judgmentally at him as he tries to think of something more intelligent than that. This helped greatly in understanding what you were saying about the lasers This one he deletes before finishing, not wanting to imply her explanations have not been helpful. They have been, it is just a large and complicated field. Vision watches the video one more time and changes his tactic to witty, or so he hopes. If someone invents a shrink ray, would we then be able to test the diffraction of humans?  That seems ridiculous, though she has shown a predilection towards such things. Ultimately he combines them all together and hits send. 

Barely two minutes into working, the tell-tale chime draws him back to his email. Pretty sure that’s what Pym (my next door labmate) is actually working on. Though he wants to start by shrinking ants . 

Vision chuckles, intrigued and confounded by the entirety of physics. It is well-known in psychology and other social sciences, that there is not a unifying theory that explains everything. Yet he always had the notion that this is not true with the physical sciences, or at least, they wish for it not to be true. Wanda concurred with this while answering his question about the incompatibility of Newtonian physics and quantum mechanics. Thus it seems there might be multiple theories that might explain phenomena and instead of embracing them all, factions have arisen. Classical ingroup favoritism and outgroup derogation. 

Another chime comes from his computer, still from Wanda but this time unrelated to physics. Are you still at work?

I am . 

Almost a minute passes, all spent with his eyes on his inbox. Me too. 😕 Any interest in ordering pizza and talking about our study? I could use a break from this grant. 

Vision stares at the still unfinished agenda and begins to type out a polite decline, until his stomach grumbles. Pizza would not be objectionable and technically he would still be productive, just for another project, plus he can finish the agenda after their meeting. He can’t imagine Wanda will want to be at work much longer. 

I would be amenable to a dinner meeting. We can meet in your lab since we met in my last time. He almost hits send and then flashes back to the numerous times he has tried to order food for people without knowing their preferences, so he adds in If it is possible, I prefer no meat on my pizza. 

His notebook and computer are already packed when his phone vibrates, Wanda’s Head on over showing up on the lock screen. 

The journey is fairly painless with the hallways mostly empty, allowing him to consult the various directional signs without people sending him judgmental stares. Even if he has gone to this wing on a couple of occasions to meet with Natasha, the entire Marvel complex is maze-like, stairways not always located in the most sensible places and not all of the elevators going to all of the floors. Eventually, however, he gets to the physic’s floor (or so the sign states) and all he has to do is peek in each window until he sees Wanda inside a room erasing writing from one of her boards. 

Despite the fact she is expecting him, Vision still knocks, taking her wave to mean he can enter. 

When Vision interviewed for the position at the Marvel Institute, he was only shown lab spaces like this one, spacious and fully furnished, a far cry from his somewhat cramped space. There are doors at the back that ostensibly lead to wherever Wanda goes to actually conduct her studies and at the right side of the room is a series of three large white boards. “This is an impressive set-up.”

Pride emanates brightly when she turns to him, arms waving out to the side like a game show model emphasizing the awe-inspiring set-up. “What would Freud say about your lab envy?”

It was only a matter of time until this type of joke was used. He allows every person one pass where he politely laughs at it while also correcting the comment, “Given the majority of Freud's theories are not scientifically based and do not hold up to empirical scrutiny, he likely would not have anything substantial to say.”

“Ouch,” perhaps it was too harsh, though a trace of her smile still clings to her face, “so Freud is off limits?”

“I, um, yes, sorry, it is--”

Wanda shrugs, turning to place the eraser on the ledge of the whiteboard, “I get it, I’m tired of hearing people quote Newton’s laws at me as a way to win an argument when Newton doesn’t even apply.” Has he done this? The specificity of it forces him to go back through every email they have sent and conversation they’ve had. “That wasn’t about you.”

“Oh, good.” He places his bag on one of the many chairs around a table, pulling out his laptop and starting it up before grabbing his notebook as well. “I will endeavor to do no such thing.”

“Thanks.”  Wanda picks up a marker and begins jotting down the list of items they still need to discuss, some of them followed by a check mark while others have a star. “So the ones with the check marks,” he looks up to follow her explanation, the uncapped marker pointing at the board as she talks, “mean I think I have a solution for them. The stars are things we still need to decide.”

Over half the list has check marks and he finds himself filled with a buzzing curiosity as to what she determined to do with them. “Where do you want to start?”

“Let’s start fun.” All of it is fun to him, the prospect of chiseling out the most appropriate methodology the most enjoyable part of research. A close second is running the statistics, but they still have a ways to go before then. “I did a mock-up of a wedding website last night, let me,” she taps away on her phone and soon after he receives a link. Clicking it opens a dark gray background with golden orbs clustered around the outside of a large picture that currently is a stock photo of a happy couple with the copyright information stamped onto it. “Obviously we have to change the pictures.”

“Yes.” And all of the details, each field for venue, date, time, wedding party, and registry left either blank or with TBD written in. There is an RSVP page and a photo page, both empty. “How customizable is this?”

“There are a lot of options.” She bends closer to her phone, swiping the screen a few times. “Yeah you can customize which pages show up.”

Vision clicks through it, most of his mind thinking through the experimental design he is leaning towards and part of his mind trying to figure out why this website seems so familiar. “Is there a way to customize the order in which they see the RSVP and the registry?”

“Um…” Wanda slides her phone back into her sweatshirt and moves to her desktop, the furious clicking and typing of marginal concern, enough that he stands and approaches her work station, watching her move through the website. “I think so, what did you have in mind?”

Vision grabs a stray chair and brings it over, always feeling overbearing and awkward when he stands while someone else is sitting. “Based on your example of destructive and constructive interference, I was thinking we might want to stick with a fairly basic study on order and framing effects that way we can test classical probability against quantum probability with a phenomenon found in both our fields. Perhaps half of our participants receive a website that asks for the RSVP before showing the registry and the other half receive a website that asks for the RSVP only after they have seen the registry information.” 

This is new information to share and so he gives her time to digest it, her head subtly nodding as she processes it all. “I like that idea, not sure it’s possible with this particular website though,” she hesitates, clicking through the various options on the main portal, “if we get desperate we could always talk to computer science about customizing the code.”

“Why does that only have to be from desperation?”

Now she sits back and stares at him, a harrowing quality forming in her eyes about what must be some past transgressions or infighting with that department. “Because if you want to talk to anyone there, you have to talk to Victor von Doom first.”

Oh yes, he had somehow already forgotten the other Victor was their chair. “Is he really that bad?”

Wanda nods, “He just makes me feel really uncomfortable.” 

“I can be the one that speaks to him.”

A contemplative moment passes before she denies what he thought was a reasonable suggestion. “He’ll just tell you no. But,” she inhales deeply, “if it comes to that, you can come with me.” The next part he thinks is an aside, at least he cannot tell what it has to do with getting help. “I’m like 99% sure he has to be a supervillain somewhere in the multiverse.”

The multiverse is something he is vaguely aware of, primarily from reading and watching science fiction. “Why do you say that?”

“Listen--” a loud rock anthem comes from her pocket and she answers it immediately, face a little sheepish at the interruption, “Okay, yeah, be right down.” Wanda hangs up and stands, hands diving into her sweatshirt pockets. “Pizza’s here, I’ll be right back.” 

“Okay.” 

Vision scoots his chair closer to the desk and grabs the mouse, navigating through the wedding website and playing with the placement of everything. It seems it might be hard to create exactly what he has in mind, though it is possible either a different service or a professional could help them. Otherwise it seems like it should work, the privacy settings making it so they can keep it visible only to those who have the link and they can require all RSVPs and gifts to come through this website, both things that had concerned him with planning the potential for this study. 

Which actually is concerning, a pit growing in his stomach the more feasible this all seems. Technically they can do this ethically. Not only did he spend the afternoon re-reading the federal guidelines on ethical research with humans but he also emailed with the chair of Marvel’s IRB to determine if post-participation consent would keep them to an expedited protocol. Though the chair was unwilling to provide any answer with 100% certainty, she seemed optimistic. Plus if they allow the participants to take the gifts back or if they donate them to a known charity and provide receipts, there is nothing ethically or legally wrong. It’s in the moral side that he still is waging a battle. There is just something about the large-scale deception that bothers him. This is despite the fact that deception is often a part of his research, but rarely ever to the extent of fake websites and actual money being exchanged, thus leaving him in a strong state of dissonance. Vision knows, as is usually the case with cognitive dissonance, it is his attitude that will change, not the behavior, and that is precisely what is happening. The more he thinks about the study, the more he communicates with Wanda, the more compartmentalized his thinking becomes. Usually it is in poor taste to use so much deception, but in this instant, it’s fine. He also wonders if there is a degree of moral disengagement going on, if this will irreparably lower his ethical standards and open him up to a world of many more deceptive studies to this degree. 

“Hope you’re hungry.” The words shatter his internal debate, Wanda’s hands gripping an enormous pizza box. Clearly his surprise is palpable, a half-smile going along with her showing him the box, “They only have one size.” 

Vision joins her at the higher table, taking a slice onto the paper towel she offers and then he follows her to two armchairs that face the whiteboards. “I have found that New Yorkers are very invested in abnormally large pizzas.” It’s why they have to fold the slices in order to eat it with any dignity. His first week here Natasha chastised him for wanting to use a fork and knife, telling him it would not go well for his credibility in the city if he did it. 

“They really are, I love it. So the website will work,” her mind has already moved from the pizza, focusing on the board. “Sounds like you have an idea of what you want to do theoretically,” one of the items that had a star, “have you considered also measuring and accounting for demographics or maybe we need to manipulate the fake bride and groom...or groom and groom...or bride and bride?”

All things he has considered. “I truly like the idea of testing the gift giving based on demographics both of the billionaires and the couple…”

“But.”

“But there are only six hundred and twenty one billionaires in the US.” 

Wanda lowers her pizza to stare at him, “That’s way more than I thought there’d be. That’s a lot.”

“It is.”

A hand comes up to cover her mouth as she speaks, not wanting him to see the bite she took, “But…”

Vision has drawn out several factorial designs in his notebook, always loving the complexity of them and their ability to more thoroughly test theories. “When doing community based research, you should plan for a low response rate, like twenty-five percent,” he places his pizza on a table and goes to the board, uncapping a blue marker, “that would leave us with one hundred and fifty six likely participants. This assumes these are the only ones that look at the website.”

“Do you know if we can track who goes to the site?”

A very pertinent piece of information he does not have the expertise to answer, “I believe that is something we would need to discuss with Computer Science,” her nose crinkles at the suggestion. “When you do a factorial design, so let’s say we did a 2 - framing,” he writes the factors as RSVP first or RSVP second , “by 3 - couple composition,” and then he writes the three options Wanda had provided before, “in order to have sufficient power to get effects we would need roughly one hundred and fifty usable participants.”

“Then we have enough.”

This is where he keeps getting stuck, because technically, yes, they would be fine but he highly doubts the response rate of billionaires is anywhere close to the response rates of more normal incomed individuals. “I worry we will get closer to a 15% response, though I am happy to consider including such a manipulation.” Wanda seems to accept his concerns and not push it, even if her face says she wants to come back to it later. “I do think we can still code and analyze for demographic information of those who respond as it will likely influence their gift giving.” 

“Good.” It is said with finality, seeming to cement their tenuous design. “With quantum probability I want to have as many factors as possible to build the best model.”

Something he assumed would be the case, and something that he also likes to have even with his classical probability. The next question he prefaces with ignorance, “I am not certain how research in physics works,” a preface she lifts an eyebrow towards, on edge and ready to jump at whatever misinformation he might share, “but do you need to make your hypotheses a prior for the model?”

The jump doesn’t happen, simply a silent bite of pizza and an extended silence. “I’ll make some a priori, but I need to really look at all the possible variables we might code for first, which will have to wait until my grant is in on Friday.” Vision nods, mentally leaving that spot blank in the IRB so he does not forget to insert it. “What are you hypothesizing?”

“I am not sure we should share that information…” at least he had assumed they would not so that he does not influence her own hypothesizing or creation of the computational model. “What if my hypothesis influences yours?”

He watches her lips purse and left leg swing up and over the right one, a smugness and challenge in her stare that activates his sympathetic system, the marker passing back and forth between his hands as he waits for her to speak. “Keep your secrets then.”

Instantly his body calms, the threat gone and replaced by a fluttering amusement. “The last major issue,” there are a lot of minor ones they will need to iron out after her grant has been submitted and before the IRB is turned in, “who will be the bride and groom for the website?”

Wanda stands from her chair, hands wiping against her skirt, “Make sure to eat.” 

“Oh, yes.” He grabs his pizza and takes a bite on his way to join her back at the computer, head cocking to the side as she searches for “attractive couples” and scrolls through the pictures. “I do not think we can do that.”

The scrolling stops her “Why not,” said in a way that implies she is aware why not but wants confirmation. 

“What if they do a reverse image search?” The search immediately stops and she closes the page, putting them back to the blank wedding site and its all too familiar out of focus stars against a dark gray sky. “Did you base this on the cover of Rovelli’s book?”

She sits up straighter, shooting him a wink and a sly smirk, “Took you long enough to recognize it, thought it would be fun little Easter egg.” 

“I like it.”

A companionable and studious silence descends, the couple in the stock photo on the website smiling and taunting him with the fact they can’t actually use the picture. He has thought a lot about what to use, knowing that every single wedding website has pictures and without pictures they would potentially be adding a design confound to their study. Perhaps they should have one site without a photo and one with, a possibility he files away for later. “Can we pay some people to come in and take pictures for us?”

Vision has thought of this as well. “We could, though I imagine we will need more than a couple of pictures and I, personally,” he hates to admit this as he believes it makes him sound greedy or overly self-important, “do not wish to use my start-up funds for this since I have already allocated them to other projects.”

“That’s fair,” there is no apparent disgust at his greed, far more prevalent is understanding, “I don’t really have excess funds either to throw at this.” Again they descend into thoughtful quiet, broken again by Wanda. “Do you have any research assistants?” Vision shakes his head, at some point he will, but he has been informed that he needs a functioning lab before he can hire any additional help. “We could ask Sam-”

“No, I do not feel right asking for free labor from Sam’s assistants.” Particularly after all of the odd tasks Vision’s own advisor required of him during graduate school. He vowed he would never put anyone through such hoops. 

Wanda gets up to retrieve another slice, folding it expertly and dangling it into her mouth. It’s at this point that they make eye contact and he almost breaks it, except the way she is staring at him is like one would at a museum, when you see a painting from far away and squint to determine if it is worth leaving your current path or waiting until you mosey on over to that end. Wanda lowers the pizza and tentatively walks towards him. “You know we probably want two people that are reasonably attractive.”

Vision agrees, having already planned a small pilot test for the attractiveness of the photos. “Correct.”

“And we don’t have the money to pay them.”

“Yes, we have already covered that.” Now it feels like being hunted by a shark, the same feeling he had after she suggested this study. 

Wanda sits back down, angling her chair towards him. “Why don’t we do it then?”

“Well, I-” though his mind rages against the idea with a big, flashing neon NO, logic betrays him, mouth drying as his useless tongue is unable to articulate any sound reasons against it. To be truthful, Wanda is attractive and he is not wholly unattractive. Other than his height, he is fairly nondescript from any other white male of his age. There has to be a catch, there has to be some reason this shouldn’t work. “If they search for our images they will be sent to the Marvel Institute’s website and immediately realize our wedding is suspicious.”

Wanda’s eyes narrow, not buying the counterargument. “Well we’ll use different names and we could have a small disguise. Like dye our hair,” something he is not willing to do and nonverbally conveys. “I can dye my hair, always wanted to be a red-head, and you can, I don’t know, wear glasses.”

“That is preposterous.”

The chatter of the keyboard is his only response, her body bending towards the computer until she pulls up a picture and motions towards it, “Works for Superman.” 

It does and, if he remembers correctly, there was a recent study on the effectiveness of disguises that found, as long as the person did not know the individual in the picture, simple disguises like facial hair, altered hair color or style, and yes, a change like glasses effectively made people assume two pictures were different individuals. Empirically and logistically speaking, it is likely their best option. 

“It’ll work.” Wanda’s enthusiasm only seems to grow with each second while his own plummets. “We could even go on fake dates and get a lot of pictures and we won’t have to be paid for it.”

Vision can feel his dissonance being resolved the longer he sits in silence, his lack of verbally declining the option a clear sign he must be, at some level, accepting of it. “It would allow us more control over everything.” 

“It would.”

Appetite gone, Vision stares at his pizza, trying to see if there is any reason not to do it. “Would that be uncomfortable, to take the pictures?”

The unperturbed air from Wanda already answers it, but she adds in an equally casual shrug, “It’s not like we’ll be doing anything more than having to stand close to each other, I mean, we’re practically touching now.” Vision looks down and sees the barely inch of space between their shins and immediately scoots backwards a hair to create a more professional distance. “I don’t mind.” In another circumstance, he would be flattered by the implicit trust she has to even offer this, a clear sign, he thinks, that she does not view him as threatening. Would she be offering this if the other Victor was her collaborator? “But if you aren’t comfortable with it, we’ll find another solution.”

Vision finally looks at her, studying the utter lack of hesitancy on her face and the gentle concern in her eyes about his own feelings on the matter. Social trust and connection is something he has difficulty with in his own life. Logic can help him with this decision. Wanda is trusted by Natasha, a person with even greater social trust issues than himself, and if Natasha trusts her and Wanda is as sincere as she seems now, it should not be an issue. “I suppose it can’t hurt to try it.”

[misstring]

The Secret I Almost Uncovered (Tim Drake x Reader)

Reader Gender: There is no mention of any gender.

Warnings: Nothing particular that stands out.

Synopsis: Security guards at museums working graveyard shifts have one of the most reports to do with broken glass, burglaries, and vigilantes falling through the glass roof.

Other notes: Reader is working as a security guard and at a cafe.

Working at a museum is like working in another world, all of the tools, mummies, paintings, and other priceless artifacts take you back into time. Working a graveyard shift as a security guard in a museum that is located in the heart of Gotham is like working with electrons. An electron can be anywhere at any point of time, likewise, at any moment, lights can flash by the windows, a window can crack, or even, on occasion, a vigilante, not Batman, will fall through the ceiling.

Tonight, it was a Ti--I mean-- Drake that fell through the ceiling. At least I think it is. All I see is brown and going from process of elimination, Batman--dark blue or black--, Nightwing--in Bludhaven but otherwise blue, very blue--, Red Hood--red and gray, generally--, and the little guy, Robin,--bright red and green, to the point you can see him from across the city if you are high up enough-- it is. There is also the fact that he stayed on the floor for 15 minutes before he actually got up and took a deep breath in and sighed.

I brought over a first-aid kit but by the time I managed to gather up the courage to speak to him, he vanished leaving a note reading 'Sorry, will have a check sent to fix it later'

I mean, sure. They all did that and who sent the check? Batman? No. Bruce Wayne. The Bruce Wayne. Since when did they have a connection with him? Is it part of the job? There were times when the Waynes would donate large sums of money to help out organizations and there were stories of when someone from that family helps out an average citizen in Gotham, struggling to make a living.

Ah, Gotham. I call it the City of Perpetual Darkness. It can be night and it'll be dark, during the day when the sun is shining down as bright as it can, the pollution is enough to darken the sky. People cough, left, right, and center, there is crime happening behind every building, in alleyways, and, ever since Batman showed up, a crazy lunatic rallied up a bunch of people and used the symbol of fun and laughter for fear and terror--an author wrote a horror story of one in the sewers, luring kids in--haven’t read it, heard it was good.

I finished brushing up the shattered glass, which scattered the floor. After taping the location off and writing the report, I ended my shift as the next guy started. I nod, my eyes already partially closing as I haven't been able to sleep with the mayhem the past couple of days. He sighs out as he reads my report. I sign out and leave.

Gotham is never safe for anyone. You can be Oswald Cobblepot and still be in danger. Last I know, someone saw him fighting Red Hood. That was a while ago, though. See, there's a danger for everyone, yet no one wants to leave. It has this addictive aura where once you are hooked, the symptoms of leaving are withdrawing into oneself, looking off into the distance towards Gotham City for extended periods of time, and feeling like a part of your soul is missing.

I look up. People scream all the time, but this one was different. It was not the normal scream of fear or joy, rather a yell of frustration. I'm intrigued. Watching people in pain? Not my thing. Trying to help out someone in trouble? Last time I did that, I was sent to the hospital for several weeks and undergone several surgeries. I am perfectly healthy now and I do not want to ruin that streak. Do I dare, though, a quick glance as to the source of this cry?

The alleyway comes up. I dare, more than a quick glance.

Brown, that almost blended in with the dirt but the shine of the golden stripes gave him away. I stay silent and watch as he taps the brick wall and asks "Why?" He looks up again and aims a gun towards the sky. A grappling hook shoots out of the open end, into the sky and grabs onto the top of the building. He pulls on it and it falls off the building. He falls on his back and sighs. He moves his hand towards his ear and says "Will be late, taking a nap," before falling asleep in the middle of Gotham.

Where are his parents?!

A small figure scales down the building and lands next to Drake. He looks down, slaps Drake a bit and says, "Drake, get up," rather loud and it echoes off the wall. The little figure looks at me. "What do you want? I will kill you if you take another step towards us."

I look around me, no one. Who is he talking to? Oh, wait. He's talking to me!

"Yes, I am talking to you, " he had a sword out in front of him. "Stop looking around like a bumbling idiot."

Okay, he's a rude one.

Before I can answer, Drake gets up and stops the little one from charging at me. He looks at me with recognition and smiles, “You’re that security guard from the glass-roofed museum. Thank you for always bringing us the first aid kit when we fall through the roof.”

The little one exclaims something, but I do not listen; my phone is ringing. I answer my phone and my boss yelled at me, asking where I was. I glance at the time, I ran.

I got into the shop 10 minutes later than usual, but I managed to sneak in a small nap before starting my shift. One of my co-workers had taken cover for an hour into my shift and I started later than usual. He hands me a macchiato with four shots of espresso, my favorite. I thank him and I clock in. It was still dark outside, a couple of hours before anyone in the city would even start to trickle in.

“Hello, what would you like today?” I say, as a small figure comes to the front. I recognized him, Robin, or the little one.

He looks at the board and then at me, “May I have a--” his face showed surprise before it was replaced by his normal scowl, “Oh, it’s you.”

I nod.

He just sighs and asks, “May I bring in Drake so he can rest in the corner?”

I looked to the back, no one was there. Everyone left and I was the only one in the store, aside from the little one. “Yes.”

Relief spreads through his otherwise tense expression. He goes outside and half carries a partially unconscious man. “Come on, Drake,” he whispers out, trying to carry the taller man, but only succeeding in keeping him upright and dragging across the floor. I hurry over and help him onto a bench, bringing him a blanket I kept in my locker for my naps.

His head turns towards Robin and he asks, “You promised to get me coffee.”

Robin clicks his tongue and scowls, “Tell me that when you slept for more than 20 minutes per night. I do not care if your friends are in danger, or if you have to solve this case to save hundreds. If you cannot take care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else.”

“Dami,” He whispers out before falling asleep.

He turns towards me and apologizes for the inconvenience. I offer him a cup of hot chocolate and he deepens his scowl. “I am not a child.”

“I never said you were,” I say, fixing myself a cup of hot chocolate alongside the other one. I place the cup in front of him and as I drink my drink at the front. No one really cared except for the owner, who was not in at the moment.

Police sirens whiz by and Robin stands up, “Someone will be back for him,” he says, leaving the café through the front door.

I collect the two empty cups. He may act like an adult but he still had his childlike innocence within him, minuscule, but prevailing. What an interesting turn of events.

I wash the dishes and as I set the cups on the drying rack to dry, Tim-- I mean-- Drake sits up and shouts, “Damian!” He looks around with his eyes wide as he realized two things: 1. He wasn’t in his safe house or wherever he goes after the vigilante work, and 2. He just gave away Robin’s secret identity. Or maybe more, but I wouldn’t know.

“Good to see that you are alive. Robin said someone would be here for you soon,” I say, picking up my Wonder Woman blanket from the floor--she is a great person, Princess Diana, if you ever get the chance to meet and talk with her.

“I-- Where am I?” he asks me.

I smile and point to the top of the menu which had the store name.

“Who are you?” he asks me, looking intently at my face.

“I can ask the same for you, Timothy Drake-Wayne. You aren’t what you show yourself to be.”

“Actually,” he says without missing a beat, “My name is Drake because Tim Drake gave me my name. He insisted that I use Drake. What am I, a duck?”

I burst out laughing. “What? Is your name Alvin, or something silly like that?”

He looks at me with seriousness coated over his face. “How did you know?”

How did I know? How did I know what? His name? “It was a random guess,” I still my laughter.

He sighs and as sirens whiz by in the opposite direction, he says, “Well, I’ve got to go. Hope business is well,” He leaves through the door calling out, “Thank you for letting me take a nap here.”

“Wait!” I call out behind him, but it was too late.

Gotham has many secrets. Some are buried with people, others buried through lies. I tried to uncover them. The mystery shrouding the vigilantes; I was so close to uncovering one, so close to blowing out the cloud from my vision before my one chance slipped through my fingers.

Why do I still love this city?

---Fin.

Thank you for reading! This is also published on wattpad and ao3.