#but i dont want rosemary bread right now

[deth-of-a-junkie]

i am so hungry i mean so hungry but we do not have the safe foods i want i have just been watching metalocalypse to ignore it but it is not working anymore can some1 PLEASE urber eats me something PLEASE

[lamentingocean]

~Work by ocean~

°Moonlight executioner x reader•

warning: slight NSFW, murder, disastrous, a bit of ptsd, kidnapping, death, cussing, blood. (No shit)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You were alone in the world and grew up in a worn down chinese village that enslaved their own people for profit and money, like selling a child for a good amount of yuan. You were one of them, being tied up in chains, living by a crumb of bread, and only a small food item can nourish your hunger plenty. but someone you got freed by the time you reached 8 years old. enough to be molested by men since they don't know how to act right. it exists in the world so often, and it even freaks you out just thinking about it. you once had been given bread, but it's been stolen by kids of the same situation you are in. only being selfish to eat for themselves and their sheep of a group. What I observed from bullying is that. They come in pacts. And their leader is the most cruel and controlling out of all of them. The sheep are the one that want to be cool and fend off other people to satisfy their needs. but a faction officer took them down so fast that you stared in awe at their concept of destruction within your eyes. he once looked at your reminiscent self. wearing clothes that are torn enough to make you half naked, he didn't find any need to kill you once he commanded his squad that a certain demon passed this village to head for the cliff somewhere in China.

your eyes closed in fatigue, but it was all a dream back to your memories from when you were a child experiencing something like that. you screamed right when you got back into reality. you formed shaky breathing, seeing your hand tremble at your memories that are supposed to camouflage as a dream. But it wasn't. your hands were full of scars, it goes to your soul as well, tears formed into your eyes and emotional impact stare to trodden the back of your throat. a disciple. wearing dark clothes. opened your doors to your figure, trembling like an injured, scared dog towards a abuser of animals. You were 20 at this time

"What are you doing? I heard you scream once our squad had been finished eating. It's 2am in the afternoon. I don't have time to give you a pity party over your truama. get up and get dressed."

"I-i-i-i..I c-cant...I d-dont know h-how to-.." He got one ounce of pity for your tears starting to mark the blanket. he gave you a cooked salmon sandwich in a wrapped bag and left with no word. you couldn't come back. it's like being trapped in dispair and darkness if it was a dimension. reality didn't want to be in touch with you right now since it doesn't know how to come in at the right time. you took the time to breathe in and out when your breath whooses in the air like sage. the trembling had stopped, and reality held your hand since it's supposed to be harsh.

you opened the bag to see some orange juice and a salmon sandwich that smelt good even when it was packaged a bit to protect it from bacteria. you unwrapped it slowly and took a small bite from it. It had sesame. It had rosemary, it had herbs and cut vegetables, and it smelt good with a hint of lemon and spice.

skip the meal for the day, and can easily heat it up tomorrow

you had a variety of black uniforms. since it's mandatory for the dark faction. wore one since they all look identical. it had sleeves, a hoodie, some large pants, good enough to fight in, and gloves. normally, the dark faction would spread out their name in training martial artists to be evil and disgusting across the land of china, but amongst masters are able to fight them off and take them in as insane subordinates with a purpose to serve under a clan or to under a rule. yes. China people enslaved their own kind, but it wasn't on purpose or without one. The common reasons are for money and workers at farms and provinces to grow vegetables and crops. For the rich. It's always the rich.

you went out the door, nobody was in the hall, which is odd, you looked back and forth but there was nothing. Until.

you heard your leader's voice to yell out troops and trainees for inspection, or it's to tell them daily missions and things they need to do in the daily as a faction sign up. Your first thought was, "Oh shit I'm late." You went frantic and looked for any nearby exit to go to your estimated group. that was his voice. But exits to headquarters are hard to get by. You managed to find one. and then saw a large variety of men and women, looking at you like you were the problem and that you were an embarrassment to the faction group. you got into your position with your anxiety through the sky. stares were from all over, it terrified you a bit. but when it came to the leader...

You had your tears suddenly appear again in fear.

"I would expect this from you since you are late to our group session almost every day, but I'm not tolerating this any longer. You either have to fix your nightmares or be permanently disbanded from this group until you're lucky enough to get approved into another position. Do you have that clear or not?!"

"I d-do..I'm trying to fix it the best that I can..but It's too hard..because of my small breakdowns in the morning..."

"Does it look like I care about your outbursts? let me give you a small challenge. It should be easy but to you. It's hard. You will have to wake up early in the morning like we do, eat, and remove your nightmares before 12 am. hits tonight. If you succeed. I will keep you in our group. But if you don't. You are out. understand me?" He said with a tone that held back much anger from trying to put you in a breakdown since he knows how fragile you are. you looked around, unable to speak since everyone snickered at your state of unstable emotions untamed.

"I d-dont know.. I will try my best to win this challenge, I'm really sorry that I caused a disruption like this..please forgive me for my actions. I will try my best master." he scoffed like your words are nothing to him, even though those words felt like a college essay to put out to the teachers.

"We have important matters to do other than to consult with useless bullshit, Welcome trainees. and today, we have an important issue to discuss. we have a master named "jaha lee" in just north of china. and he killed off the main leader of the heavenly generals, black rabbit clan leader and claim it as his own, doing a crime like that is usurpation, killed the elder dragon king, black sea wolves, the battle pavilion arena joint, the southern ming alliance, killed the two leaders of the cloudburst clan, this isn't a laughing matter. this master is extremely dangerous to handle. and he issued a mark onto us as the factions of china. so I asked for all of us to deploy a all out war with this "jaha lee" dont hold back on your true combat skill and kill him. simple as that. we dont need any more masters to die by his hands. We will end it. here and now. we deploy at a full moon tonight. that will give you enough time to train and prepare yourself for this monster of a master. Go.

Oh, and Y/N. I need to discuss this with you in my office. come with me." a jolt of fear came right into your veins, as you pointed at yourself in question.

"Yes, you." You followed him into his royal looking office, plastered with gold and kissed with silk and other rare items considered to be only for the richer class. he told you to take a seat, so you did so. "What has been going on with you? You have been like this ever since you have been put in my group's position. so tell me why?" You closed your eyes. A squelch of wet tears nearly came out of your eyeballs of mental exhaustion.

"I been reliving my past or experiencing nightmares from my childhood. and my childhood wasn't pleasant to hear about to most people. It's been haunting me ever since my last leader took me out of their group when I had the same problem. I don't know how to fix this or I just need to manifest good energy in order to make it stop but its giving me a trigger to sob and tremble about it right at the end of these nightmares..and it's so irritating..I wouldn't expect you to fix it for me. The only reason I joined the factions of china is to give myself a purpose. But these nightmares are ruining my purpose off everything. I don't know how to get help, and I'm stuck in a wall with no corner to escape right now. that's all I'm gonna share.." it's like his breath been taken away at your entire speech. you honestly had some hope that some leader. Any leader wouldn't make it out to be an excuse. But he's just like the same as everyone else qualified to be a master. snobby and no hardships to go through.

"You.. hehe.. you honestly believe I wouldn't believe you?"

"Huh?"

his face turned to a picture of his grandpa. being a warrior in ancient China by his armor on the battlefield. "We all have our own hardships to recover from. I always go off as too blunt or too harsh upon people with trauma or upon people with hardships that is a pain in the ass to deal with. For example. my dead grandpa was a fine warrior working in the light faction of ancient china.. but then he got killed..by the mad demon. but now that he's dead.. I won't be able to avenge him. Sure, my grandpa was a criminal of his own, but he had a mixed heart. that's it. I will make the challenge a bit easier for you to pass. since I don't want the other disciples to think I'm a soft hearted general. go on.. just train and wait for the mission to deploy." You felt calmer. He tricked you. I think? You didn't know if he did, but he didn't. you left the office. walking in the hall with the exact group that snickered at you. but after what he said after being shoved aside constantly by each and every leader and general around the faction headquarters. It felt like a breath of relief that you didn't care about the judges and the whispering of negative words to you. but that disappeared quickly.

a girl shoved you on purpose, all eyes in the hall. "Haha. How is a pick me like you able to get into a high-ranking group like us? You will ruin our reputation. stop being such a baby and get over those nightmares."

"O-ow.." A small bead of blood oozed out of your scrapped arm, a hard hit on your back sent more jolts. you were being stepped on by her. "This is funny. A loser like you could never be as powerful as us. You should just give us already and die on the spot. the faction doesn't have time for weaklings like you. tch..bitch." Nobody raises a hand to help you, leaving you in a shocked state, but what did you expect? her laughing was right up your ears. but a stench went right along with it.

her boot had dog poop on it, you whined in disgust and tried to wiggle off her boot on your back. It didn't work. "WHAT? You don't like the stench. I put the dog poop on my heel just for you? Don't you like my present?♡" You had a pocket knife in the side of your pants. It's forgotten, but it's mandatory to be on the ground under the sheep of this world. You don't deserve that. you sliced her leg as a deep cut and ran off to her blood curling scream of pain and evil anger. you went right upstairs to a random room so you wouldn't be located after what you just did. but that didn't work either. that girl knew all the places in this headquarters. So your chances of hiding are so low that it might as well be a video game score when you're very bad at it.

bangs were on the door, and it was that girl, screaming cuss words and anger at you like a physical aura. you sobbed right there, wishing it would stop. You don't want to hurt people, but when people try to make you get put into the ground and serve as a humanoid carpet, If you defend yourself then your the victim and your the problem to take down just for being human. but it stopped for over an hour. tears and snot were makeup on your face at this point. the same guy who gave you food this afternoon came in. sighing at your terrified expense.

he took you up, trying to ease your frantic reactions from being hit, but he didn't even say one insult like usual and stayed quiet while carrying you to his room. It was a secondary hour later. he gave you a napkin to wipe your tears away once you calmed down, "what...what happened to her..??"

"I gave her a laxative and knocked her out. Always does that to literally anybody in our group. There is such thing as human emotions...well. I found no need to scold you for crying in someone else's room. because that person would have a trivial reaction."

"....thank you." you continue to wipe your tears in a awkward situation such as this.

"Did you train at all? or did you just be in your room all day. I had to get my advisor to sign papers for me. so annoying how busy I am dispite of the factions being martial arts on the main note.

"Noo...I just had a little talk with master and now I'm unfortunately caught in this situation of when a girl probably hates me to death now.."

"Ah, right. Sorry about that..wh-"

+DEPLOYING FOR URGENT MISSION. THIS IS YOUR GENERAL REPORTING TO ALL GROUP MEMBERS. BE PREPARED TO DEPLOY AND FIGHT THE BEST YOU CAN. KILL THE TARGET AND END THIS ASAP+

they both stood up in the bed. He handed you a weapon, which is a pretty strong, durable sword to fight in, you were pretty good in martial arts dispite of being so fragile and weak to be in the battlefield and being in tough situations such as healing wounds and seeing death right in front of you, even with a blade. you were almost exceptional in combat. but just not mentally. everyone walked outside, with the moonlight glowing directly above the cliff. it was a scary experience but we don't know what to expect or happen while targeting only one man.

And that's jaha. you know nothing about him but he's very dangerous and it's the same for martial arts too, you either have to live or die if your a enemy of him or be a subordinate under the madness of his antics. half of the group swallowed their fear by the time they got the full information of this target that they had to kill on their own. It's a 50/50 win. towards highly trained martial artists all in one group to one man. that's scary to think about. whoever this man is must have some hidden power to him. either way don't give up hope and fight the best you can't.

it was midnight once they arrived at the black rabbit union, all of them were wearing their faction masks, but it's dangerously quiet in the grounds of the clan, your sweat turned to the suspicious silence. having so many thoughts in your mind, like over filled papers in a printer. "It took so long to get here and this is what we get?"

"s-shhhh..stay alert."

"Since when do I take orders from you, little miss truamatize?" The rest of the group shut both of them up when the moon started to glow red.

is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? It's so quiet in black rabbit, almost like everyone, and even the subordinates have been decimated into thin air. The air is thicc, and it's getting heavy to breathe slowly. It's not the mask they're wearing, but it's some presence starting to take in effect of their lungs. "Something's up."

"Well no fucking shit. What do we do?" Some group members started to get a little frantic, and even some tried to abort the mission at the silence, starting to crush their sanity to death. "Don't fucking abort the mission what are you doing?" you squinted your eyes to the Golden jade palace.

it was a red glow coming from outside of it. You directed your attention to the group arguing about what is about to happen and why is it so silent enough to hear blood course through their veins, it freaked all of them out, so much for being powerful martial artists without handing good silence from a area. "What is it?"

you pointed your finger to the entrance, slightly trembling in gushing fear at that light starting to form into a eye, everyone was like "what the actual fuck. is this a horror story, or is this death coming for us?" A figure landed right in the middle of the grounds. The group stood in caution and instant attack if they were hostile or an enemy of a clan against the factions.

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"me?" He revealed his so-called "figure"

"Is this the jaha lee they were talking about? Why didn't they accompany us into defeating this guy? Tell me again. who. Are. You."

he pointed his sword right at them as if they were a target and he's not, but for some reason. Your face kept staring at him. He does have a face, but you wanted to see what he looked like. You want to get to know him. You do not want to battle him. It's like some like of electric connection between aura and vibe. "So I would assume I'm a target. huh..very expecting of you dark faction. sending your minions to kill me when you can't even do it yourself, casual rich men in that faction, drinking booze and sitting in their ass while their fighters got their blood spilled on the ground."

"I asked who you are. That isn't my question." Every one of the members slid out their weapons in slo mo, just in the right time for him to attack at any time, his aura was mysterious, but randomly intimidating to them. "Oh, you want to know who I am..well.. let me give an introduction before I try some with you all. Son of a bitch.

I am the moonlight executioner. the God of martial arts, Master of the black rabbit clan, master of the black sea wolves and the low down, Master jaha, and the one that will taken down the factions and the league no matter what. So I recommend you all. To get out of my clan before I mutilate your bodies and send them back to whatever hell rich den you guys came out of. got that fucking clear?"

...to you. what he said was so cool, while everyone else tensed up in anger and hungry for battle. some details are that his outfit was covered in old blood, and his mask was also spattered with it like he's just experimenting with a freshly dead person in a lab to test their blood. but enough talk. you have to be ready to be focused on your target and deal the killing blow.

instead of waiting on you to attack all at once, they lunged at him recklessly and pathetically. but once you closed your eyes expecting them to at least spread out to get into fighting formation. you didn't hear any of their voices in your ear. like they just vanished.

It was silence once again, like you entered a spacial paradox with no sound enough to drive someone insane, but then you felt pain, ripping you out of this mindful paradox. Your foot got slashed open, but it wasn't deep. That pain forced you to open your eyes. And then was everyone ok in good hands.

That's the complete opposite.

you saw their bodies brutally killed, and their blood was all over your body since this master had a way of slaughtering opponents so horrifying. all of them were dead. forcing into the gates of heaven or hell by only a man they just met, the guy eariler raised his hand with his fingers cut off. he attempted to shoot a dagger at this master. but it didn't even cut off a strang of hair. His face was stabbed in by his peculiar pattern of a sword. and his back was turned to their blood all over his body as his black hair just boosted it even more. he was terrifying, but he is also interesting before your brain decides to shut in fear and an income of unstablity shutting your martial arts prowess to slime. but then.

He did something else.

he put his mask in his hand. You were so eager to see his face, but he had your heart stop. his red pupil shined along with the reflection of the moonlight like water but it grew smaller.

He laughed maniacally and had so many shots of insanity within that laugh that it scared it into backing away. The smell of blood disgusted you right when it continuously oozed it from their bodies. Oh! How you thought what your masters would think of this horrible incident. you opened to whatever door that led out of this clan so you can save your own life.

No.

he slammed your head down to the stone ground so hard, his body was on top of your back. you tremble so timid to his hand grappling all the chunks of hair he can grab within your scalp. "pls...s-spare my life..ugg.." he didn't say a word. and his sword to your neck.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you, dark faction minion bastards. I don't care if you're a woman. whatever enemy i face, then I face. Don't care." his grip is so strong. You can't even move your body from the force. "I ahh..I didn't want to hurt or kill people...I only joined the dark f-faction to give myself a purpose in life. I don't mean to mess with you...I'm not one of them...so please.." he slowly raised his body down to your ear. He had a cold breath and felt the strands of his hair circled around your waist and arms. his abs pressing through your small back. "If I spare you..If you try to charge at me with a weapon or even a hold a weapon in general. I will kill you. Understand me?"

you nodded for that. his grip lessen a bit. he made you drink something that knocked you out so fast. Surprisingly, you didn't have those nightmares every night in every dream with him. it was jaha. and only jaha weirdly. to a guy you just met and made his first experience like a badass. your vision was blurry when you slowly woken for your slumber. Your wound was bandaged up, but you were set in chains. "Help.."

the same man last night came right in when your vision got blurry again. It was doing it on purpose for you not to see this man's face. His hair was so luscious when he unlocked the chains on your arms. your vision finally backed away, and then you looked up to see his face to investigate a written book about you.

"J...jaha lee.?" he looked down right upon you on his glaze, but It didn't terrify you. Not one bit. He was extremely attractive. I guess you can say he's hot. His red eyes, his perfect skin, and his long black hair in a ponytail had your face in complete awe. no words could distinguish how beautiful he is as a man. he squat down to your wound and took a shed of blood to his finger. "Hmmm shallow. not much. You will be fine. Your wound wasn't that bad. Now let me question you. who are you?"

"Im y/n....a member of the dark faction.. or I might quit because my purpose there is erased.."

"I see. I will issue out a warning broadcast that you're dead, and they will have no point in trying to get you back to their shit faction. I've been trying to face those bastards for almost a decade. I'm surprised they even have a system for a martial artist like me. I will keep you safe since you don't seem to post a threat to me. since you're so weak and timid." You chuckled at him like it's nothing. For some reason. You can't help but feel like this madman can give you true peace and harmony, happiness, and joy since it's been a lost emotion to you for such a long time. This is a first. you stood up, feeling cold since the prison you were trapped in had a cold space. even goosebumps just took in signature for your skin.

"Are you cold?"

"Mhm.. I don't really find you as a dangerous master like everyone says about you.. you got your plans decked out like a master.. you are so cool." he smiled and turned his body to you.

"Yeah.. I don't kill innocent people. I only kill masters who are chaos to everyone and use people to get what they need. the terrible ones in the shortest term."

"Hmm.. interesting.." something unexpected happened. He wrapped his arms around you. He didn't have any other options to do since their isn't a blanket or anything to warm you up in the cold space. he was warm. like a pillow with bricks around it, hard and soft. "Here.. I have a guest bedroom for you to sleep in. you don't need to be a servant to me but just relax. Because I can tell that you been through a lot by your aura. Follow me." it was a royal looking palace in the inside that was only the basement, a lobby, training grounds, a palace, and food. it was 2 in the afternoon. feeling the sun this time. Peacefully made you smile warmly at the beauty of this earth. "here."

It was a big bed, like muscle memory. You laid your head down in letting all the mental exhaustion go from your mind and release from your veins like soft pressure. it was so soft, in fact, that you fell asleep so fast in a short amount of time.

"I only just met you, but.."

he gave you a small kiss in the forehead, letting the webs of his hair spread out like legs, and then left the room.

(This is the longest x reader I ever made. But how do you like it? Is it good or not? I'm planning on doing Detective jaha and French jaha, right? (Totally not trying to fit into reality so I can be included in everything), but this took so long😭

[honeypirate]

Flower in the Sun

AU where Beni has a mom (I don’t know if he doesn’t I just know about his adoptive father/master)

Benimaru x Fem!Reader

Not edited don’t hate me for the many mistakes

5.5k words

You tried to focus on the celebration, tried to let go of all the stress you felt right now, but it was difficult considering you JUST moved here less than a year ago, opened your shop in town and lived above it, and now your whole apartment/shop was obliterated. back to basically square one for who knows how long.

You sat by the edge of the celebration, chewing on your lip as you thought about your options. You’d have to move your shop back to the barn on the gardens you have outside of town but you didn’t get as much business that way.. plus you can’t really sleep there. You could move back in with your mother but she lived near company 3 and baked them a cake every sunday, your sisters family lived in the Shinjuku District but they were holy sol nuts and you really didn’t want to have to ask them of all people. So the barn was the only real option right now, no bed but at least it has a roof and a door with a lock. A voice cuts through your thoughts and you pay attention when you realize it belongs to Benimaru

‘If I wrecked your house last night feel free to stay at the guardhouse until it’s fixed. It won't take too long.” you felt a weight lift off your shoulders as you watched those without homes gather around him for details, you pick yourself up and walk over to the group so you could hear what to do.

At the guard house you are directed to a small room at the back since you were just one person and not a family. You didn't mind that it was a small space or that you were farther away from anyone else, you were just grateful you could stay in Asakusa and keep your business running. You are told that you can help yourself to breakfast in the morning and dinner will be served for everyone at night and you were given a few essential toiletries.

When you are certain that everyone else staying there had used the showers, you gave it some extra time so that the hot water will replenish before you made your way silently down the quiet halls of the guard house.

You walk past a door that was open, you glance as you walk by and see Benimaru help bandage Konro, the sight brought a small smile to your lips as you continued your course to the showers.

Their conversation after you passed went something like this

“Waka”

“I saw her”

“She's beautiful. You should..”

“No”

Konro sighs “if you don't, maybe I wilL”

“You’re such a pain in the ass”

Your shower was amazing, they really spared no expense on the quality of shampoo and conditioner. You were so glad to not smell like smoke anymore as you changed into a new set of clothes, they were too big and just a fire force soldier shirt and jumper, but you didn't care. They were clean and comfortable. You folded your dirty clothes into a small stack and carried it back to your room, making a mental note to run to the clothing store in the next few days.

The next morning you are up at dawn, walking through the still quiet hallways towards the kitchen. You get warm in the baggy jumpsuit so you undo it halfway and tie the arms around your waist before you open the doorway. Inside there is a long table with different foods set out and at the end is Benimaru and Konro. You bow to them “thank you for letting me stay” you say, your voice as quiet as the morning. “I’m sorry for destroying your home.” Benimaru says and you rise, a smile on your lips as you make your way farther into the room before kneeling down in front of the table across from Konro.

“You’re Y/N L/N who owns the herb and flower shop” Konro says, recognizing you now that you were up close. You nod and reach out, grabbing some bread “yes I am, although my shop will now be run from the gardens just outside of town until it is rebuilt. My herb garden was on top of my apartment building so some special herbs will be out of stock for a while” you laugh and rip a piece of bread and put it in your mouth. “There is a garden behind the guardhouse that is hardly used, feel free to plant whatever you like” Benimaru says and you blush before bowing your head “thank you very much Captain Shinmon.” He frowns and Konro chuckles under his breath “just call me Benimaru” he says and you nod “of course. Benimaru” you notice the sunrise outside and stand again “thank you again, for breakfast as well” you say with a bow before leaving the room, your unfinished bread in your hand to finish on your way to the gardens. you had to set up your new shop in the barn on the flower farm you made sure to leave as early as you could since that would take a while, good thing you had one employee to help you, your close friend Jo.

One eye like a bullseye and one like an X. you couldn’t look away from him even if you wanted to. Here he was, in your shop, pursuing the already made bouquets you had made that morning and the potted plants Jo had taken care of. You watched him talk to Jo for a second from your spot at the back counter, before resuming his shopping.

You could hear Jo next to you saying your name but it didn’t register that she was talking to you until she walked in front of your vision “huh?” you ask and she glares “huh?! I have been practically shouting at you for the past five minutes. Could you take your eyes off of the Captain for a second please?” your cheeks turn red as you look down sheepishly “sorry Jo” you whisper and she laughs at you then says “he’s actually looking for you, oh flower master” you gasp and look up into her eyes “WHAT?” you practically shout and then crouch down behind the counter when you see his head turn. Your coworker leans over the side and says “and he’s coming this way now. good job dummy” before she leaves “fuuuck” you whisper and panic, how are you going to okay this off? “didn’t know you hated me this much y/n. Is it because I destroyed your home?”

You dip your head back to look up at his face which is now looking over at you as he leans over the counter. His facial expression was uninterested but he had curious eyes. His voice was monotone, like he had way more things to be doing than this mediocre errand. You pop to your feet, your face feeling like 100 degrees. “No!! I mean yes! I mean!Ugh” you sigh and close your eyes, stealing a moment before opening your eyes, a customer service smile and voice when you say “no, I dont hate you. Sorry i'm just a little flustered. How may i help you today?”

“I need some flowers and when you mentioned your garden at breakfast I thought I would come down. I need whatever says “i’m sorry for not coming to dinner for 5 months i still love you mom” you bite back a giggle as you think of his mom, a regular at your shop who would come just to talk “say no more, come with me and we will build you a perfect bouquet” he nods and you grab a flower basket and a knife, leading him out the side door into the garden.

“So these ones are blue hyacinths, they represent peace and truth” he hums before shaking his head “no” he says and you chuckle, leading him down a few rows before stopping again “these are called star of bethlehem, they mean reconciliation” he leans in close “i like these ones” he says and you smile “perfect” you say and reach out cutting a few and adding them to your basket before walking down a few more rows.

You spend half an hour looking around at the flowers and chatting easily. “So why haven't you been to dinner with your sweet mother? She comes in every once in a while and only has nothing but kind things to say about you” you ask while you finish the arrangement of star of bethlehem, yellow roses, white ivy flowers, spider mums, and lily of the valley. You spruced it up with some ivy greenery and the last of the rosemary and chamomile flowers in the shop, the seeds you’re going to plant back at the guard house were already in your bag in the back.

The bouquet you made was beautiful and you felt proud as you tied around a few ribbons “Just busy is all” he says and you hand the bouquet over “well, tell her y/n from the flower shop says hi” he nods “i will. thank you y/n” he says, his fingers brushing yours as he takes the flowers. “Will i see you at dinner?” he asks and you smile “wouldn't miss it” he nods “good Konro will stop asking me now” you chuckle, does that mean Konro likes you? You push the thought aside “have a good rest of your day, Benimaru” you say and he gives you a small smile “you as well” you notice the flush of pink on his neck as he exits the shop.

“Ohhh these are lovely! Are they from y/n’s garden??” Beni nods “she say’s hi by the way” his mom smiles and brings the flowers into the kitchen to grab a vase “that girl is so sweet, she always remembers FooFoo and if i bring her with she gives her treats.” Benimaru feels his heart warm as he crouches down to scratch the tiny head of the senior dog laying on the floor. “She moved her shop to her garden until it’s rebuilt” he says, remembering the way he felt her eyes on him in the store, the way her hair shown in the sunlight as she brought him around her garden, telling him about the means behind every flower he asked about, the way the conversation was easy. He found himself wanting to talk to her again, trying to find any reason to go back to your garden. “Benimaru!” his mom shouts and he looks up to her “sorry ma” he says and she just shakes her head with a smile “shes quite beautiful isnt she?” his mom says as she places the flowers in the vase “yeah” Beni says “she is”

When you get back to the guard house after work it’s already dark and quiet, you had a lot of work to do once you closed and it unfortunately made you miss dinner. You roll your shoulders as you take off your shoes by the back gate, picking them up as you walk into the back garden. You hum softly to yourself as you find a watering can and hose, filling it up halfway and bringing it with you over to the garden boxes filled with dry dirt. You chuckle at the sight “poor unfortunate neglected dirt, not for long tho” you whisper as you wet the soil, sure you could plant more things at your garden around your flowers but if you did both you'd have more supply when they were grown. Plus it was the perfect time to plant. You kneel by the garden box and mix up the soil so it was all wet and combined before planting the seeds. Unaware of the man on the back porch watching you as you went, a smile on his lips.

You snap your fingers and the hanging lanterns above you light, making your face glow as you look up and make eye contact with Benimaru, a smile on your lips when you notice his shocked expression. He recovers quick with a smile you can tell he’s trying to hide “you missed dinner” he states and you chuckle “I’m sorry to make you miss me” you say with a chuckle “Would you like to help me?” your voice was quiet but he heard it like it was right by his ear.

He stands from his spot and walks over to you, his feet making soft sounds when they hit the dirt. He kneels down next to you and you take his hands in yours, making him cup them, the dirt on your hands rubbing off on him. “Take some of these” you dump some seeds into his hands “and plant them in a row, a couple finger widths apart and a knuckle deep” he nods as he follows your orders, you start on another row and hum softly as you go.

“You’re a pyrokinetic” he says and you chuckle “kind of. I mean. I never had any training so I can’t fight or anything with it. Nothing compared to your talents. But technically yes” “You’ve watched me so often you know of my talents?” he asks and you watch as his fingers push seeds into a neat row. You chuckle “yes, im not ashamed to say it. You’re captivating and insanely talented.” His cheeks flush and he clears his throat “is..is this right?” He asks and pulls his dirt covered empty hands away “that’s perfect Beni” he holds his hand out for more seeds and you smile as you pour some more into his palm.

“These are chamomiles, one of my favorites although common” you say “why do you like it?” he asks and you feel your stomach birth a butterfly or two “when i was younger, my grandma owned the flower garden. She would plant beautiful flowers and let me pick whichever ones I wanted. Then at the end of the day she would let me go pick as many chamomile flowers as i wanted so she could make tea. As we drank tea should tell me stories, I love chamomile because it reminds me of quality time and the stories that can be shared over a good cup of tea”

You finish your story as you both finish planting. You wipe your hands off on your pants as you stand up with him “thank you for your help” you say with a smile that he returns “thank you for the story” you nod “anytime Benimaru” he picks up your shoes and hands them to you before he puts the watering can back and disappears inside the guard house.

You snap your fingers as you walk inside, the lanterns going out before you close the door.

You don’t see Benimaru for the next few days, he wasn’t there for breakfast or dinner, you guess he has fire force duties that keeps him busy but you can't help but wonder how he is.

You get home from work late again, a wedding coming up that has been keeping you busy. You shower and then make your way through the guardhouse to the kitchen, it’s quieter than usual, a few families homes are already built and yours should be soon as well. You walk into the kitchen and smile when you see Beni already there “hi” you whisper as you shuffle to the cupboard to grab a mug and some tea “hi y/n” he says when you stand next to him at the stove, the tea kettle already heating up “can’t sleep?” you ask and he nods. You notice the dark circles under his eyes and how bloodshot they look. You hum in response and frown at the response your heart had when you saw him. Like you wished you could take care of him and rub his back while he lays in bed. “Are you just getting back?” he asks and you nod and cover your mouth as you yawn “yeah. Mrs. Kim’s daughter is getting married sunday and I’ve been making all the arrangements. White peonies, lavender, and ivy, it’s gorgeous” he notices the bandages on your fingers and dark circles under your eyes that almost match his. He wants nothing more to hold you while you both fall asleep. He’s so sleep deprived and he can see you are as well, but his thoughts are cut off by the whistle of the pot. “Do you wanna sit?” he asks and you nod with a smile.

You sit and talk at the little table in the kitchen, the only light coming from the one hanging above the table. It felt like you were in your own world as you talked and shared stories, laughing at the many things he told you about growing up and meeting Konro.

You told him more stories about your grandma, about your childhood. You bonded over mutual feelings for religion and politics, over what you want for the future. Before long you’ve finished a cup of chamomile tea and your second cup has gone cold, at some point he grabbed your hands and was now playing with your fingertips as he told you the story of how he became captain, sharing his fears with you in the safe space of the quiet kitchen. “I think I will always believe that Konro could have been better at this than me” he whispers and you lean forward, reaching up to brush his hair from his forehead before cupping his cheek “for what it’s worth, I think you are perfect” you hear his breath catch as his eyes look up into yours “perfect for this company, for this town. I talk to many of the people who live here and I have only ever heard praise and kindness for you. Your people love you. I know you don't like sweets that much but I’ve seen you accept them AND eat them and that says so much about you. People always give you so many gifts because it’s the only way we know how to give back, to you and the company for protecting the people and always being there.” Your hand slips as you go to move it from his cheek but he moves his hand up, covering yours and holding it in place.

“You may not feel worthy of this mantle, Waka” you smirk and give him a sweet look, knowing about his nickname and using it in this context makes his heart race as a small chuckle escapes his throat. “And no matter what i say, you can live with what makes you comfortable. But know that you are ultimately not living the truth.” He ponders your words for a moment and brings his hand down, taking yours with it. “The truth being that you DO deserve this position. You ARE worthy. You ARE the best and most qualified for this” his fingers laced together with yours “and you have the support of your team and basically the whole city...” your cheeks blush and you look down at your hands together against the table “and you have mine as well” you whisper

Benimaru was gone the next few days, Konro as well. Leaving you in the guard house as more and more families left, able to go back to their newly built homes until only a few of you remained.

Your bare feet plop along the wooden floor, echoing in the empty quiet hallway as you make your way to the back. Your long duster cardigan hitting the back of your ankles and making your shorts and tank top seem even more cozier. The sound of birds makes you smile as you take a deep breath of the fresh morning air, walking to the little garden with a watering can in your hand.

“Good morning” he said softly, his voice strained and tired. You smile and your head snaps up to look at him, your smile falling as you take him in.

You set down the watering can and stand, making your way to him in an instant. “Are you okay?” You ask, your hands reach for him but stop a short distance away. His face had a bandage on his cheek and forehead, his left hand wrapped, and a bruise forming around his left eye. “Just a couple scratches is all” he says, taking one of your hands with his right hand and slowly leads you back to the plants. “They’re growing nicely” he says as he looks down at the sprouts, already a little tall and poking out of the dirt in just a week.

He drops your hand to pick up the watering can, raining down the cool liquid over your plants, the dry lightened dirt turning dark brown. “You’re going to work?” He asks and you shrug “I don’t have anything special to do today, and if I’m being honest” you blush and take the can from his hand, walking to put it away so you didn’t have to look at him “I wanted to go in today so I didn’t think about how much I wanted to talk to you”

His breath catches and his wounds don’t even throb anymore, he wasn’t paying attention. All that matters is the soft way your voice reached his ears, saying something he didn’t even realize he was hoping for. You’ve been missing him, just as much as he seemed to miss you. “Will you get some breakfast with me?” He asks, his voice normal, hiding every anxiety and feeling deep in his heart, but as you turned and met his eye you could see the hope he's feeling in them.

“I was thinking” you say after Konro excuses himself from breakfast, leaving you and Beni alone. “Could you.. I mean. Do you know of anyone who could train me with my abilities? If it’s possible I could get stronger then I want to” your hands are in closed fists against your thighs and you me eyes shone with the determination you feel. He chuckles softly, popping a piece of fruit in his mouth and thinking as he chews. “I think I could figure something out. Tomorrow night work for you?” You beam at him, grinning from ear to ear with excitement “that works perfect!” You place your hand on his arm that rests against the table “Thank you Benimaru” you say softly and he nods, trying desperately to suppress the blush he feels is imminent.

The next evening you went out to check your ganden before you were supposed to train, you hoped that he had found someone nice to help you. “Are you ready?” He asks behind you and you smile while you stand from your place by the small growing herbs “as I’ll ever be! Who will you have train me?” You ask and meet his eyes, raising yours brows in question, noticing his face was without his bandages today and his wounds really did look like scratches. “I will” he states and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.

You take a couple steps towards him “no!” You exclaim louder than intended and you laugh once awkwardly as his eyebrows raise “I mean. You’re hurt! and my power is so low it’s not worth your time. I’ve seen the boys you train! their power and skill is levels higher than me” he walks over to you, setting his right hand on your shoulder and leaning down to your ear “I want to” he whispers and your cheeks dust pink as a small gasp leaves your throat, oh how he desperately loved that sound. He pulls back with a smirk “and I’ve said” he raises his left hand that still had a small bandage around his palm “it’s just a scratch” he begins to walk away from you, over to the training space and you’re stunned for a few moments. Standing there and watching his back as he walked away, your heartbeat racing and your brain empty save it for the way Benimaru’s breath tickled your ear.

“Well?” He asks when he realizes you’re not following him, turning back and looking at you with daring eyes, snapping you back into reality. Your smile spreads and the sight sends him over the moon, a feeling invading his heart that he’s become enamored with these past few days having you at the guardhouse. You were the sun slowly rising in his life, and he was drawn to your warmth. “Let’s do this” you say as you reach his side, the back of your hand brushing his for only a moment but it sends fireworks up his arm.

“Show me what you can do, outside of lanterns” he says as he stands to the side, his eyes taking in your form as you stand facing him. You hold up your hands and nod once, the tip of each finger igniting in small flames. “I can’t make them bigger but I can do..” you tighten each flame to smaller tips, growing in power and heat until they blazed like the head of welding guns. He nods once “she’s more powerful than she realizes” he thinks as he watches the flames reflecting your eyes.

“That’s good” he says as he approaches you “is this all you know how to do?” He asks as he takes a hold of your wrists gently, turning your hands and looking at your flames. “I couldn’t really practice a lot growing up so this is it unfortunately” he chuckles once, mostly just air from his nose, but it made you smile anyway. “Can you control which fingers or..” before he finishes you start randomly lighting and unlighting fingertips. “Now try to shoot the flames out” he says and you nod, trying to push the flames out but just ending up breaking a sweat and flashing your flames, not going anywhere else.

After fifteen minutes of absolutely nothing happening you sigh and flung your hands up in the air “I can not be this WEAK” you exclaim and shake them as you scowl. He sighs and comes over to you, reaching up and smoothing out your eyebrows gently before holding his hands out to you.

You hesitate, your hands almost being set in his before you pause and he raises his eyebrows “chicken” he whispers and you drop your hands against his “tch” he clicks his tongue and you roll your eyes as he uses his thumbs and first two fingers to rub your wrist gently “it’s your first test. Relax” he says, his fingers moving to the middle of your hand “there are many other things we’ll try, none of which make you weak if you can’t do them” goosebumps running down your spine as he moves down each finger, your breath catching in your throat with how gentle he was being with you and how nice it felt for him to be doing this to your hands, another sound that he found he adored. He brings your hands up and kisses each knuckle softly, effectively short wiring your brain yet again. “Try again” he whispers, letting your hands go and standing back again.

You took a deep shaky breath and closed your eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin and the warmth he has ignited in your heart, before opening your eyes and shoving your hands out, each finger popping as flames, strong, bright blue flames, shoot from each finger.

“BENIMARU!” You shout and laugh, dropping the flames and turning to run and throw your arms around his neck “oof” he mumbles as you hit him, his arms wrapping around you to keep you both stable. “I did it! I did it! I did it!” He sighs softly into your hair, “I saw” he whispered “wanna find out what else you can do?” He asks, his lips brushing against the side of your head. You squeeze him closer for a moment before pulling back “does this mean I should call you my Senpai? Or my Captain?” He rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the blush that rose to his cheeks “No.” he says, but you laugh when he won’t meet your eye.

“You’ve come a long way for just a few hours” he says as you walk back to the garden, the sun beginning to set “you’re a really amazing teacher” you lean in close “Captain” you whisper before making a turn for the hose. He stops in his tracks after you whispered, his heart fluttering in his chest as he forces himself to calm down before turning and walking over to you

You look up to him from where you were crouched, running hose in one hand after you washed your face and the back of your neck. “You look a little flushed” you say as he crouches by you, reaching out for the hose. He just Humphs as you move the water closer to him, a smirk in your lips and mischief in his eyes that he would have known right away had he looked up at you.

Your thumb covers the end just so as he leans down, raising the pressure as it hits his hands spraying his face as well. You chuckle before placing your fingers against your lips, holding in as much of your giggles as you could. He slowly looks up into your eyes, water droplets falling from his hair and nose, he was annoyed for half of a second until he meets your eyes, notices the sweet mischief in your eyes and hears your soft giggles as they leave your lips. “Did you just..” you nod and slowly stand to back away from him, the mischief rising to his eyes as the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile. He stands and takes one step towards you and you raise your emotu hand, “WAIT” you say and he stops “we.. we can talk about this..” you say with a smile, giggles escaping with every exhale. “I think we’re too far past talking about this” he says before he moves, quick with his hand out towards the hose but you scream and try to run, spraying him behind you as he gets closer. He laughs as he grabs you, his arms wrapping around your middle from behind not caring about the cool hose water that was currently soaking him. He reaches up and takes the hose from your hand and turns you around before smiling and slowly running the water across the back of your head then across both of your shoulders making you gasp and tense in his hold. “I think we’re even now” you say with a shiver and a laugh and he cocks his head “not yet” he says softly, his hands reaching up to tuck your damp hair behind your ears.

You gasp, his cold fingers cooling off your warm cheeks as he cups your face. The hose forgotten about, dropped on the grass by your feet, soaking the earth and making your toes muddy. But nothing else matters besides the way he’s looking at you and the way the sun is turning the sky red behind him.

Your hands grip the sides of his soaked shirt as you lean into him “and how, tell me, can we make it even?” You ask, following his hands with your face as he pulls you closer, his body curving forward as you lean forward on your tip toes, brushing your nose against his making his breath hitch “can I show you?” He whispers and you nod, your eyes fluttering closed as he closes the last inch between your lips.

Kissing him felt like the first breath of fresh air after an infernal has been put to rest. Felt like the first relaxing step into a hot spring. It sends goosebumps from your head to his toes before being followed by electricity making your skin tingle. Fireworks dance across the backs of your eyes as he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you tight against him. You sigh as your heart sways within your chest, comforting and warm as he holds you like his lifeline.

His thumb brushes softly against your cheek when he pulls away. Your hands smooth out his shirt before running your hands up his wet chest, his hands moving down to both rest against your waist. You can’t think of anything to say, just savoring the moment as you look into his eyes.

“Are you guys coming to dinner?” The twins say from the porch, effectively startling the hell out of you. You gasp and clutch your heart as Beni just smiles down at you, his back to them. “Thanks. We’ll be there in a minute” he says and they skip off. “We should get going. We’re gonna get sick” you say and reach up, running a hand through your damp hair. He reaches down and turns off the hose as you gather it, putting it away correctly and he reaches out, hooking his fingers with yours. “Mom will kill me if you get sick” he says softly and you laugh “maybe you could.. help me clean up. Make sure I don’t get sick” he coughs a few times, choking on his spit in shock and you laugh “Beni” you say softly and pause in the doorway, looking up at him. “I’m playing. I really like you. I’d like to take it as slow or fast as we both are comfortable with, okay?” You reach up and ruffle his damp hair, pushing it out of his eyes. His cheeks flush and he leans down, pressing his forehead to yours as your eyes close. “I adore you” he whispers and your heart flutters. “Let’s go get cleaned up” he whispers and squeezes your hand, guiding you along with him to the showers.

[sxvxrxssnape]

severus' sixty-first birthday

- minerva sends severus a birthday card every year and though she doesn't sign it or return address it, he knows they're from her. they worked together for years, he recognizes her handwriting

- he's not entirely sure how she found his address but maybe owls are just that good at tracking people. still, she never asks to see him or mentions how the rest of the wizarding world has long thought he's dead

- at this point, he opens his kitchen window in the morning and watches the sun peaking over the horizon as it starts to rise, sipping on his coffee, as he waits for the letter to arrive

- he'll read through it, smiling softly (though he wonders about the part where she mentions a gift on the way. shes never sent anything more than a card) before tucking the card away with all the others. he'll get dressed then and then walk into town. it's a quiet place where he's chosen to live and he's made friendly with a number of people and sometimes he misses the vibrancy of the wizarding world and the comaderie of being a hogwarts professor but that atmosphere had long fizzled out and going back would never truly mean going back. he's moved on and he's fine with that

- he prefers early morning to get the shopping done. it's less crowded and the world feels untouched, pure and magical, at this hour. he'll stop at the local bakery, buy himself a pastry and another cup of coffee, savoring sweet almond and blueberry, before continuing to the grocery store and picking up the few things he needs for tonight's dinner

- its his 61st birthday today and though he doesn't want to make a big deal out of his birthday, he's learned that it's okay to celebrate your own existence and indulge in the things that make him happy

- as it stands, a well made shepherds pie with good bread and red wine would make him very happy today

- his grocery tote is charmed to keep cool and feather light, so after gathering what he needs he'll head to the bookshop. this is one of his favorite activities and absolutely not reserved for his birthday. his favorite bookshop is old and quaint, hosting strange books with mysterious origins. a lot of the locals think its all false but severus has a trained eye and can recognize magical tombs when he sees them. the first time he came, he cleared out any that could be considered dangerous to muggles. now he likes to browse through the remains and pick up a new read or two; they're not all magical but they are all interesting. the shopkeeper is a very old woman who looks very out of place in this millennium, but he supposes he does too some days

- she wishes him a happy birthday, eyeing his black coat with a certain kind of scrutiny he's gotten used to from her. he was never able to give up his long coats and now he wears them unbuttoned over black turtlenecks. it makes him look less imposing, he supposes, although enough people have asked what he teaches that it sets him on edge

- he doesn't remember when she learned his birthday, but he pays it no mind. a few of the people he's come across here have learned his birthday by now. its the reason he'll get a free scoop of ice cream on his way home. she always looks at him like he's familiar but just can't place how, and part of him worries she's going barmy and starting to forget he's been coming here for years

- as he's paying for the two new books he's found, she says something that feels like its meant to be a warning but feels more like a threat: the aurors are in town today

- "pardon?" he asks, but she just smiles sweetly and waves him off like nothing was amiss, as if his blood hadn't just turned to ice beneath his skin

- he leaves the shop numbly, thinking it over. she couldnt have meant anything serious by it, although now he's kicking himself for not realizing she was a witch (or perhaps a squib?) he kept up with the wizarding world fairly regularly when he'd first disappeared. he knew potter had cleared his name posthumously and that he was hailed a hero, so whatever the reason for the aurors being in town, it has nothing to do with him. he decides to carry on as normal; too many years have passed for him to be known by this new generation of aurors.

- he does get his free ice cream, a scoop of vanilla caramel with a drizzle of chocolate, and he's sitting in a wrought iron chair outside the shop, under a carefully cast warming charm to keep him comfortable in the january air but with a cooling charm cast over his frozen treat, when he sees them

- there's two of them, fairly young and most likely born during the second war. they're dressed in the muggle version of their uniform he's come to recognize and watches them from his peripheral as they head down the street and wonders what they could be in town for

- he doesn't notice the third, older auror watching him with widening eyes, no longer paranoid enough to check who's standing behind him, as he swirls his spoon through the remnants of melted ice cream and gets lost in his thoughts

- he heads home after that, lights a fire, and makes a tomato and cheese sandwich for lunch. he catches up on a few episodes of his current favorite show (a historical drama this time) and enjoys his quiet afternoon

- when its time to start on dinner, he'll put something on the record player (he's got a soft spot for the record player alright, he's aware of what spotify is, he just enjoys the nostalgia of vinyl), and get to work. he's got a glass of wine and he's singing along to pearl jam as he cuts carrots and potatoes

- he grows wild thyme and rosemary in the front yard, right next to the white chrysanthemums, so he puts his spoon down and goes to fetch some

- he doesn't expect to find potter standing just outside the gate with a pink bakery box in his hands looking simultaneously like a deer in the headlights and like he's just seen a ghost. which he supposes he has

- he ignores him in favor of picking the herbs. once he's done, he glances once in the direction of harry potter before returning inside. he leaves the door open and waits. it isn't until the herbs are washed and finely chopped, being stirred into the stew, that potter finally enters the kitchen. he holds the box tightly and blurts out "i thought you were dead"

- "evidently not." severus responds, spooning the mix into a baking dish and begins to top it with the mashed potatoes. "how did you find me?"

- he mutters some nonsense of working a case involving a local store selling magical wares to muggles (and severus frowns at this information, worried it might be imelda) and seeing him outside the ice cream shop. getting his address wasn't that hard and the cake he brought was simply a social nicety

- perhaps he hasn't been a professor for years now but he can still smell bullshit so he raises an eyebrow at the answer he's gotten. potter has grown in the years since he's seen him, no longer a strong-willed seventeen year old but now a tired looking auror of forty who's still just as bad at lying as he ever was. he thinks how he was around his age when they last spoke and that fact feels a little dizzying

- "you dont seem that surprised." severus muses, putting the pie in the oven and bringing down another glass. he has a feeling potter will be staying and the idea is already giving him headache. he thinks back to minervas letter and wonders if this is what she meant. perhaps its time to finally write back, he thinks, as he pours them each some wine; they have a lot to talk about it seems

[thefoulbeast]

Tagged by @bluewindfall (a while ago sorry for taking so long 👉👈)

Last song: молчать дома - клетка (been listening to a lot of molchat doma lately... they r. so good :,)) n kletka is my fav song from them )

Last movie: Rosemary’s Baby. It’s an oldie i’d wanted to watch for a long time and let me tell u. wow. just  wowo. it was a trip. it was a whole experience of a trip.

Currently reading: genuinely no idea blue exorcist and a whole bunch of fics i guess?? :,)

Currently watching: i dont. know. i have some stuff i started on but haven’t watched all the way through but not. watching anything rn in particular.

Currently craving: salmon or beef tartare.... with some nice crunchy crispy bread & some salad leaf.... but alas it is. too luxurious to get right now huu

idk who to tag my head is way too empty? whoever wants... do it.!

[taysi-kuu]

Samhain

Here is a small "guide" to help you celebrate samhain i have included some in depth spells as well as well as super simple things you can do if youre busy or just dont have the mental energy to celebrate. there is no "wrong way" to celebrate any of the sabbats, just because one person did a huge ritual doesn't mean doing something smaller and simple is any less meaningful.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Times to celebrate: In the northern hemisphere, many Pagans celebrate Samhain from sundown on October 31 through November 1. Others hold Samhain celebrations on the nearest weekend or on the Full or New Moon closest to this time. Some Pagans observe Samhain a bit later, or near November 6, to coincide more closely with the astronomical midpoint between Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice. Most Pagans in the southern hemisphere time their Samhain observances to coincide with the middle of their Autumn in late April and early May, rather than at the traditional European time of the holiday. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is Samhain: The third and final harvest festival on the Wheel of the Year is Samhain, observed on October 31. This Sabbat marks the end of the growing season and the beginning of Winter, which must be prepared for now in earnest. Herbs are dried for winter storage, fruits and vegetables are canned and preserved, and root vegetables are dug up and stored so they may nourish us through the cold months. The word “Samhain” comes from the old Irish and is thought by many to translate as “Summer’s end.” While the cycles of life and death are implicitly recognized at every Sabbat, Samhain is when the necessary role of death is formally honored. The nights grow noticeably longer with each day. The God retreats now into the shadows of the dark season, symbolically dying back to the Earth before being reborn again at Yule. Many Wiccans and other Pagans consider this to be the most important day on the Wheel, a time when the veil between the spirit world and the mundane world is at its thinnest. Our ancestors and loved ones on the Other Side are said to be more easily able to visit with us and make their presence known at this time. Samhain is arguably the most visible Sabbat in the mainstream world, thanks to the parallel holiday of Halloween. Many of the Halloween traditions celebrated in contemporary cultures today have grown out of customs dating back to pagan times. As far back as ancient Greece, people were leaving offerings of food to their ancestors, which is echoed in the modern tradition of trick-or-treating. The practice of leaving root vegetables, hollowed out with lighted candles inside, to guide spirits visiting on Earth ultimately led to today’s jack-o-lanterns. Witches, of course, have always been part of mainstream Halloween lore. And although they have almost always been presented as “evil” caricatures with no resemblance to the real thing, there’s still a lingering association between the spirit of Halloween and the real power of a Witch .--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Correspondences: SYMBOL: Black cat, jack o 'lantern, bat, ghost, scarecrow, waning moon.

 GODDESSES: Crone, all crone goddesses, Cerridwen, Hecate, Hel, Oya, the Morrigan, Lilith, Kali, Ishtar, Arianrhod, Rhiannon, Tlazoteotl, Nephthys, Persephone, Beansidhe (Banshee), Inanna, Baba Yaga, Isis, Pomona and Cailleach Beara (Brigid's crone aspect), who is reborn this night. 

 GODS: Osiris, the Horned God, Herne the Hunter, Cernunnos, Anubis, Odin, Bran, death gods, dying and rising gods.  INCENSE: Copal, sandalwood, mastic resin, benzoin, sweetgrass, wormwood: to get the sight, to see the spirits of the returning dead.  CANDLES: New candles for the new year: black, orange, autumn colors, or black candles for the Lord and the old year, white candles for the Lady and the new year.  TOOLS: Besom, to sweep out the old year and any negativity it had. Cauldron, for transformation. Divination tools: Tarot cards, scrying bowl, rune stones, pendulum, mirror, etc.  PLANT: Pumpkin, apple, grain, pomegranate, mugwort, wormwood, Dittany of Crete, acorn, oak leaf, gourds, root vegetables, rosemary (for remembrance). STONE: Obsidian, carnelian, onyx, smoky quartz, jet, bloodstone.  ANIMAL: Bat, black cat, owl.  ALTAR DECORATIONS: Autumn leaves, fall flowers, pomegranates, apples, pumpkins, ears of corn, sprays of grain, corn dollies, gourds, nuts, seeds, acorns, chestnuts and images of ancestors are all appropriate. Use whatever is in season where you live, whatever feels right and looks good to you.  FOOD: Gingerbread, freshly roasted nuts, nut breads, anything made with apples or pumpkin, meat (especially bacon), doughnuts, popcorn, cakes with lucky tokens in them, and red foods because the ancients held them sacred to the dead. DRINK: Mead, apple cider, mulled cider, mulled wine, fruit juices, pomegranate juice/tea .-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Magical Workings:  Samhain is one of the most potent nights of the year for magic. As a cross-quarter day it is a supernatural time, a time outside of time, the night that is not a night, a powerful time of flux and change. This is a good night for: candle magic - astral projection - past life work - dark moon mysteries - mirror spells (reflection) - casting protection - inner work - propitiation - clearing obstacles - uncrossing - inspiration - workings of transition or culmination - manifesting transformation - creative visualization. Divination: Samhain is a power night for divination: read the tarot cards; use the Wheel of the Year spread to forecast the year ahead - cast runes or the I Ching - scry in crystal balls, dark mirrors, bowls of black ink or pools of water - swing a pendulum, asking yes or no questions - eat an apple in front of a mirror at midnight, by candlelight, to scry your future mate.  Meditation: This is a good night for deep reflection and inner work. Meditation themes include: changes, transition, endings and beginnings, passage, return, mortality and reincarnation, chaos leading to reorder. Spirit work: (by invitation, not summons) This is the night when the veil is thinnest, the gates between the worlds are open. Souls of the dead are said to visit their homes at midnight.  Possible workings include: a dumb supper for the beloved dead - ouija - séances - trance possession - automatic writing - bury apples as food for hungry spirits - leave spirit plates of food outside your home - set a place for a missed love one at the banquet or dinner table.  New Year workings: Release the old: bad habits and toxic relationships, illness, failure and poverty; everything you do not want to carry into the new year - sweep negativity and out of your home - end quarrels - settle debts, make amends or restitution if needed - spells for prosperity and security for your family.  Faery Magick: This is a great night for visiting the faery realm but you must return by dawn or remain forever enchanted, unable to return. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- simple no bake apple oatmeal cookies    https://onceamonthmeals.com/recipes/no-bake-apple-oatmeal-cookies/ not so simple  soul cake recipes https://www.learnreligions.com/make-a-soul-cake-for-samhain-2562655Once ------------------------------------------------------------ Candle Ceremony for The Ancestors  This is a wonderfully simple ritual which can be shared with both friends and family, or worked alone. You can include children in it - it begins in darkness and ends full of light. It's a great balance to trick or treating! You will need a supply of small candles, either black or white, or a supply of night lights. You need a heat proof container or tray of sand or earth to put them in. Place one in the centre of the container from which all the others will be lit. Switch off all the lights and sit gently in the darkness. Allow the darkness to enfold you. Ask for the presence of your ancestors to come to you. When you are ready, light the central candle saying "We welcome our departed loved ones into this home and honour your presence amongst us". Allow each person in the circle to spontaneously remember someone who has passed to the Summerlands and remember something about them and light a candle for each person from the central candle: 'I remember Great Aunt Sheila and her generosity of heart....'. Allow this to continue for as long as it takes to complete the re-membering. You will end with a tray full of radiant candles. When all is complete, give thanks, and allow the candles to burn to completion ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Guide the Spirits (quick and easy spellwork to honor the dead) Place a white candle in the window to guide the dead to the Spirit World. Light the candle and speak these words, “O little flame that burns so bright, be a beacon on this night. Light the path for all the dead, that they may see now what’s ahead. And lead them to the Summerland and shine until Pan takes their hands. And with Your light, please bring them peace, that they may rest and sleep with ease . ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- as Samhain marks the witches new year you can write down a bad habit or something you dont wish to carry with you onto the new year onto a piece of paper and in a fire proof bowl or somewhere safe place a lit candle inside (or even use a fire pit/bonfire/fireplace) and drop the paper in the flame and watch it burn away. if there are any ashes of it left over wait for them to cool and bury them outside  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If anyone plans on taking a walk late at night or a cemetery walk at night please be careful! if you can bring someone with you or bring some form of protection pepper spray, pocket knife, even your keys. be respectful to the spirits, be safe with what spirits you try and contact. if you aren’t sure if a passed family member would want to be involved if your spells/rituals you can always ask them/ send them an invitation so that way the choice is at least open to them. i hope you all have a wonderful and safe samhain/halloween <3

[takethisroad]

Tmr bakery au notes

Newt self consciously dusting his hands on his apron as he enters Thomas's kitchen, not wanting to get flour residue anywhere, mouth turning down in a small moue as flour puffs up from his apron anyway

THOMAS REMOVING STERILIZED JARS FROM VATS OF BOILING WATER AND NEWT CAUGHT BY THE FLEX OF MUSCLE IN HIS FOREARMS AS HE USES THE TONGS TO DEFTLY LIFT EACH JAR AND SRT IT ASIDR

NEWT SMELLING LIKE FRESH BREAD AND WARMTH AND HOME FUCK ME UP

THOMAS NOT EVEN BOTHERING WITH HELLO WHEN NEWT WALKS INTO THE SHOP, JUST GRABBING HIM BY THE ARM AND TUGGING HIM BEHIND THE COUNTER, REACHING INTO A SMALL JAR "you gotta try this"

"Try wha-"

Newt can't get the words out bc thomas's fingeris in his mouth

THOMAS WOULD TASTE NEWTS BREAD AND TRY TO XOMPLIMENT HIM BUT NEWT WOULDNT UNDERSTSND BC HED BE TALKING WUTH HIS MOUTH FULL BYE

Newt bakes scones for the shop and ppl who bring a business card from minho get 10% off bread

Oh.

Thomas' shop could be called

the homespread

...I'll see myself out

It's dead here so imma still just yell abt this prompt bc i LOCE IT SO MCUH.

- newt waking up absurdly early to get the first rise going so his morning regulars get fresh sourdough

- their stores are on opposite sides of minho's coffee shop

- meetcute as they're both rushing to deliver orders to minho's shop

- just. The homebrew jam asthetic. Csnning labels. Packets of pectin littering the countertop (thomas doesn't necessarily like using it and would rather make a runny compote but the jam market is a mainstay of his business so.) Amazing aromas floating by as thomas experiments with flavours. Rosemary apple thyme. Spiced marmalade. Blueberry jam with fresh blueberries from thr fsrmers market that happens every sunday may to october.

- the abilitybto tell where newts been by the pattern of flour markings on the floor

- thomas blastinf little mix as he works

- newt preferring silence or soft music

- SUNLIGHT AND BAKED GOODS sob sob sob sob sob sob sob

- LOVE MAKES THINGS TASTE BETTER I DONT MAKE THE FACTS

Newt donates any baked goods he doesnt sell to charity at the end of each day

WHAT IF HE MSDE HONEY WHISKEY JAM INSPIRED BY NEWT'S EYES GOODFYCKING BYE

K but also ben and gally would be those people who whip up batches of blue cheese or wasabi ice cream in their spare time

- vince lost his wife mary in '82; they'd always talked about setting up a local farmer's market (her family are all farmers but she moved to the city for med school and wanted to reconnect w her roots)

- after mary died, vince was ready to live a life of solitude; but life had other olans and a few years later he met a friend, jorge, through work and his infant daughter brenda. Jorge learned about msry and convinced vince to convene a farmers market in memory of Mary

- jorge owns a local butchery and his stall was one of the first at the market in the early days, and he and Vince are basically brendas dads now

- brenda has taken over more of the butchery business so vince and jorge can ostensibly dedicate more time to tje market administration but actually she caught them kissing in vinces kitchen and theyre the worlds worst kept secret amd she wants to give them some alone time on sundays

- brendas specialty is sausages with her secret spice blend, which is why frypan, who works in a local restaurant as a cook, swears by her meats and will only buy from her. (The way to fry's heart is indeed through food and he and brenda flirt every time they meet amd they're just dancing around each other waiting to make the first move)

- newt and minho open their shops within the same year amd brenda is quick to invite them to set up stalls at the weekly market

- thomas arrives a few years later, with his jams. Brenda leaves a flyer for the market in his mailbox and they eventuslly become fast friends and she takes to selling his compotes at the butcher shop bc they really do pair excellently with some of the cuts

- thomas may be good at jam but he cant cook worth a damn and frypan gives him hell for it the first time thomas talks about messing up boxed mac n cheese

@faia loves foxlet "kombucha, more like kombewcha," thomas mutters darkly at gally's retreating back

Brenda wears baggy overalls and a trucker hat in this AU and no one can convince me otherwise

STAHP IM BLUSHINGNSKSKMDMDNDNF like dnw to flood but also it seems p quiet so like. I may continue shouting inti the void about sticky toffee pastries and how harriet would nesrly lose her entire cool watching sonya sculpt marvels out of wispy spun caramel

Ugh thomqs watching newt knead dough, pressibg into it firmly with the heel of his hand, shaping it with deft touches, twistung and pulling ti create fsncy braids im.Just.

Thomas using minho and newt as taste testers. He comes into minho's shop one day while minho's on his break and newt's lingering after dropping off fresh scones.

"Try this," he says, pulling a small glass jar out of his bag.

Minho frowns. "That looks like snot."

"Shut up," thomas says, unscrewing the lid and shoving the concoction in his friend's face. "Taste."

Minho sticks a dubious finger in - so hygenic - and pops a dollop of the mint green substance in his mouth. Thomas watches, unable to suppress a triumphant smirk as minho's eyes widen. "So?" He prompts.

"Holy fuck," minho says, staring at the jar like it's worth its weight in gold. "That's good. Like, really good."

"You don't need to sound so surprised," thomas says, but laughter is already colouring his words as he turns and offers tje jar to newt.

Thomas enters newt's shop one day and heads strsight ti the kitchen as per usual. The noise of thr mixer drowns out the jingle of the door chime and newt doesn't look up from where he's kneading dough, apron a mess of dusty handprints and a smudge of flour on his jaw. Thomas leans agains the doorjamb and watches for a moment. Newt's back is mostly to him and he admires the long lines of him, the neat bow of the apron around a trim waist. He's humming under his breath as he works, a little off-key and all the more charming for it.

Newt turns the dough over one final time and sets it aside in a greased bowl which he covers with a handtowel. He turns and when he sees Thomas, the whole room lights up with the force of his grin.

"Hey Tommy."

Thomas works to unstick his throat. "Hey," he manages weakly, flashing what he hopes is a smile. His chest is suddenly alight with butterflies.

Dough is clearly not the only thing rising.

A one-woman channel flood? It's more likely than you think.

- minho as a coffee fanatic. Talking about pour-overs and the five elements of proper espresso. OMG there could be like a county fair and Thomas wants to enter his jams and win a prize so he can look good in front of Newt and win his flavour favour. But he gets so stressed about it ("shouldn't you cool it a bit?" Minho asks as thomas slams his fifth double espresso of the day.

Thomas doesnt seem to hear him. "Gotta go fast," he says.) that his jams turn out shit. Everything is despair.

But then, the next morning, a knock on his door. (Thomas isnt used to knocking. He and newt never knock; they just barge right into each others kitchens at this point. But this is his apartment.) He opens it and newt is there, a little uncertain but holding somethinf wrapprd in a teatowel. It's the best damn bread thomas has ever smelled. So he invites newt in and pushes the bitterness of the county fair down in his chest and they cut the bread (still warm). And its fucking delicious, the best thing thomas has ever tasted and he just looks at newt awestruck. "What's your secret?"

Newt actuslly blushes, mumbles something thomas doesnt catch. He leans forward. "What?"

"I said, things taste best when they're made with love." Newt is fully blushing now, the tips of his ears matching the gingham teatowel.

Thomas blinks. Surely he hadn't heard correctly. "Wait, you- oh. Oh."

[gelasssoek]

create creativity. Start keeping a journal to follow your creative process and track the In addition to challenging yourself, you also need to create your own opportunities for creativity. 'Creative' is the most popular adjective in the design world. Everybody wants to be a creative individual, find a creative solution, or discover a creative book. How to make a mini submersible water pump at home

Everyone has a creative "type"—knowing yours helps you maximize your potential. Take our quiz to discover your type! Take some time every day to be creative.

Hey everyone, it's me again, Dan, welcome to our recipe site. Today, I'm gonna show you how to prepare a special dish, create creativity. It is one of my favorites. For mine, I am going to make it a bit tasty. This will be really delicious.

Start keeping a journal to follow your creative process and track the In addition to challenging yourself, you also need to create your own opportunities for creativity. 'Creative' is the most popular adjective in the design world. Everybody wants to be a creative individual, find a creative solution, or discover a creative book. How to make a mini submersible water pump at home

create creativity is one of the most popular of recent trending meals in the world. It is simple, it's fast, it tastes delicious. It's appreciated by millions every day. create creativity is something that I have loved my entire life. They're nice and they look fantastic.

To begin with this particular recipe, we must first prepare a few ingredients. You can cook create creativity using 12 ingredients and 8 steps. Here is how you cook it.

The ingredients needed to make create creativity:

{Get 2 cup of mashed potatoes.

{Take 4 medium of grated potatoes.

{Take 1 cup of squash or sweet potato coocked mashed.

{Make ready 2 of eggs mixed.

{Make ready 4 tsp of garlic.

{Prepare 1 cup of flower.

{Make ready 1 tbsp of salt.

{Prepare 1 of cheese if wanted as much as you like.

{Prepare 3 cup of bread crum, corn flakes, crushed crakers.

{Make ready 3 cup of or 4 bacon, panceta, ham diced.

{Prepare 1 medium of grated onion.

{Prepare 1 of Your own choice of spices ( as much as you want ).

Creativity is not simply innate; it is something that you learn and train every. But the creative attitude of Da Vinci began to take root in our classroom—in our students Creativity also directly enhances learning by increasing motivation, deepening understanding, and promoting joy. Creativity is a phenomenon whereby something somehow new and somehow valuable is formed. The created item may be intangible (such as an idea, a scientific theory, a musical composition, or a joke).

Instructions to make create creativity:

Sorry for any spelling mistakes that at in this recipe. it is a very free recipe feel free to mix it up and throw what ever you desire in there example choped mushrooms.

make what you can before hand IE mashed potatoes squash. Add the fallowing ingreadents to potatoes, grate onions, chease ( if wanted )cut garlic up . Then mix with potatoes, add eggs and mix in a big bowl. After everything is mixed add half the flower and mix. add salt and peper if desired.

cut ham, bacon, panceta into little chunks in a frying pan if you dont have much fat add your choice of oil. cook till desired browness. Add to potatoe mixture with a little of the grease..

now its time to relaxe or go to work w.e doesnt matter. the longer you leave it for the flavours to have a marriage the better.

(Oven) Alright! Time to cook. depending on how many people you want to serve fast or slow is going to depend on how you cook this. if you want to be able to serve it all at once. oil and flower the cake pan then add flower and bread crum mixter to coat the bottom of the pan. then put the potato mash, about 1and a half to 2 inches thick in cake pan then in the oven at 350 for an hour. check ocationaly to make sure its not burning. After you think its done cut a peace out and see if its cooked all the way threw..

(deep frying) if the mixture is to runny add a little more of that flower and mix in. then make balls about golf ball sized. Then role them into bread crum mixter ( if you want to get creative add a chunk of chesse right in the center with a leave of rosemary or your choice of spices). Heat oil and drop one or two balls in at a time as not to cool the oil to much. Cook until golden brown to dark brown. if uncoocked in the middle make the rest of your balls smaller and repeat prosses..

(frying pan) Depending on your pan and type of cooking serfice the results very you could use buter or oil and take the mixter put one scoop into a frying pan and flaten it to about half an inch with the spachula you could sprinkle a little flower on the outside to keep it from burning and sticking. cook on low to medium heat and be calm dont try to flip it until you are sure it is strong enough to do so. Great food takes time..

enjoy! I am expecting you guys to add your own flair to the dishes be creative and use comon sence if you think the mixture could use more flower or bakeing powder go for it. top the top of the oven one with pumpkin seeds or cheese or both, you have spices you like alot go for it! the beautiful part of potatoes is they are so versitile. cooking isnt about fallowing a resipe its about creating!.

From idea generation and creative confidence, to the power of the subconscious, innovation, and invention, enroll in courses that will boost your creativity. Create a classroom that recognizes creativity. You may want to design awards or bulletin boards to showcase different ways of solving a problem, or creative solutions to a real world scenario. You want to be creative and breed creativity in your workplace, right? Now we've got adults being asked to create and who are sure they aren't creative.

So that's going to wrap this up with this special food create creativity recipe. Thank you very much for reading. I am confident that you will make this at home. There is gonna be interesting food at home recipes coming up. Don't forget to save this page in your browser, and share it to your family, friends and colleague. Thank you for reading. Go on get cooking!

[thecaptainsays]

I was tagged!

I've never been tagged to do one of these before, let's see how this goes!. Tagged by @randomslasher

1. Nicknames: Katie, Kate and Kiki (all variations on my name) I always give people nicknames but some how have never really ended up with one of my own.

2. Gender: Female

3. Star sign: Capiquarius (I'm right on the line between capricorn and aquarius)

4. Height: 5'4 on a good day but usually 5'3

5. Time: 1:30pm

6. Birthday: January 20

7. Favorite Bands: Kaleo (seriously my new obsession), Led Zeppelin, Queen, Credence Clearwater Revival, (Really all the old classic rock bands: Bad company, Kansas, ACDC, Foreigner, Guns N Roses, Steve Miller Band, Blue Oyster Cult, Bachman Turner Overdrive, ELO ect), Imagine Dragons, AWOLNATION, and then classical Gilbert and Sullivan.

8. Favorite Solo Artist: This is really hard...Im going to go with Christian Kane for right now

9. Song struck in my head: My songs know what you did in the dark by Fall out boy (you can't tell me you dont rock out to that and your heart doenst stop every time the bass drops and you hear the match book strike)

10. Last Movie I watched: Guardians of the Galaxy Part II

11. Last show I watched: Modern Family (USA always has repeats on when I get home from work)

12. When did I create my blog: May 6 2011 (Oh my god I've been here forever)

13. What do I post: Mostly supernatural and j2 things, cute animals and sunflowers, funny work anecdotes, I used to reblog a lot of tolkien things I don't know why that stopped, and miscellaneous other things that amuse me

14. Last thing I googled: The "everything is fine" meme with the dog sitting in the burning house so I could send it to someone in response to something that happened at work yesterday.

16. Do you get asks: Almost never

17: Why did you choose your url: A friend picked it out for me, we were big into pirates and we were best friends, known as the "dynamic duo" I was the 'captain' to her 'first mate' so she often referred to me as 'Captain Kate'. Since this was my blog "The Captain Says" was born.

18. Following: 261

19: Followers: 48

20: Favorite colors: Red, and purple (I really like to combine them with black)

21. Average hours of sleep: 4 maybe 5

22. Lucky numbers: 21

23. Instruments: Violin, piano, guitar, alto recorder, bass recorder (bet you didnt know there were other recorders besides that one you learned in grade school (that one was a soprano recorder fyi))

24. What am I wearing: yoga pants and a grey v-neck t-shirt which is the outfit you will find me in when I am not at work pretty much always

25. How many blankets do you sleep with:  One, it's a normal comforter, I get so freaking hot when I sleep it usually is on the floor when I wake up (along with the sheets and all the pillows because I am a very violent sleeper)

26. Dream job: So kind of a lame answer, I kind of have my dream job? I always wanted to be a veterinarian and thats what I am doing. BUT I want to be a mixed animal veterinarian (horses, dogs and cats), I want to own my own practice and I want to work in the small town I grew up in and give back to the people who gave me so much growing up and that hasn't happened yet.

27. Dream trip: I want to travel in Europe, I would love to travel in Italy and England and all over and I really really want to go to Greece.

28. Favorite Food: By itself: Panko breaded chicken. As a meal: Garlic rubbed Steak with rosemary tattooed potatoes and asparagus

29. Nationally: Mediterranean mostly (half Greek and 1/4 Italian. The rest is a mix of european) born and raised in the US

30. Favorite Song right now: This is hard because this changes for me so often. I have two songs I'm keeping on my phone and they are the only songs on my phone so I'll go with those. "Take me to Church" by Hozier and "Sister Christian" the version sung by Jensen Ackles

Anyone who wants to do this please do I just got off a 10 day work stretch and I can't think of anyone to tag!! And give the lovely @randomslasher who tagged me some love because she is awesome!

[faithfulnews]

Thanksgiving from the Upside Down . . . and Stuffing

Today I am preparing a message for New Day Community Church in Stockton that has a special Thanksgiving Day Service tomorrow, followed by a Thanksgiving meal, and I have been invited to speak. I am not sure if I am more excited about talking during the service or presenting my Thanksgiving stuffing at the meal. And since I am preparing both at the same time, I thought I would add notes on both. Besides, my chef daughter Elizabeth asked me yesterday for my stuffing recipe so now is a good time to share my thoughts on my stuffing and also my message which deals with a spirit of thanksgiving when things go wrong, go upside down, as they did for me last year when I lost my wife of 29 years to malaria in Africa.

First of all, the stuffing. It’s different for me every year and I don’t have exact measurements but I can tell you that the first thing I do is roast a chicken. This gives me the stock I need to add the right taste long before the turkey turns up. And I put the heart/liver/neck etc in a pot and boil it for 20 mins to get even more stock which gives taste and moisture.

And since I am roasting a chicken, I might as well roast a few potatoes also.  I will get a separate meal out of this – roast chicken and potatoes for my family, but no gravy because all the juice and stock will go into the stuffing.

The big players for the stuffing are celery, onion, and meat. I sautée each one separately in butter and throw them into a large bowl. I usually do bacon and mushrooms but don’t have any right now. And my kids hate mushrooms so I am used to not cooking them, but I totally recommend them.  For the meat, I like to mix it up with bacon and different minces, pork is good. I have used some rabbit before for a more gamey taste. But today is beef because its all I have.

The other big player, apart from croutons (which I will talk about in a minute) is parsley. I used a big bunch of it, cut roughly but not chunky. And rosemary needs to be present – thyme might suffice – but rosemary is a necessity. I had to sneak into my neighbor’s yard to steal some but I told them 6 months ago I would do this on occasion and they were cool with that.

But what about that message. Ah yes. The text is Ephesians 5.

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,     rise from the dead,     and Christ will shine on you.”

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Paul borrows here from Isaiah 60:1 but takes a little license in adding his own spin. I want to do the same thing with this passage. Most people read it in a prescriptive way – a list of do’s and dont’s, which is fine. Giving thanks is a command. Yes. An argument can be made for that and I could make it also. But there is a deeper layer here that I see as descriptive – a pattern, a journey, a teaching on not only what to do, but what happens when you do that. And this is what I want to share tomorrow.

It goes like this.

As you step into the light and embrace God (does that sound too SHIRLEY MACLAINE for church? HA HA) and as you are embraced by God (oooh ok this is WAAAY TOOO SHIRLEY), something will happen to your mind and your heart

Your mind

You will gain perspective, you will be illuminated, enlightened. You will understand what God is up to and you will speak out on behalf of that truth. This will affect your life – you will recalibrate your life, your actions, your habits to align with what you know of God and what he is doing. What is good, what is right, what is true. This will be your new default setting.

Your heart

God will put a song in your heart. That song will play even through the most difficult circumstances. You will have a soundtrack, and its called “thanksgiving” and that will spill out into encouragement to others. Thanksgiving will also become a new default setting. Just like a drunk person is controlled by alcohol, you will be consumed with and controlled by God’s Spirit. This will change your demeanor, alter your posture, define the way you hold yourself and the way you relate to other people. You will be a person characterized by thanksgiving and not a person who bickers, judges, fights, complains or sees life as half empty.  This god-filled-ness will also spill out into other relationships including the way you relate to others, as one who uses your song to encourage and uplift others who need to hear, and as you relate to your spouse and your children and parents – you will be someone who easily surrenders and submits and finds common ground, seeking unity, rather than fighting for or defending your ego.

OHHHH I just took the potatoes out of the oven. They are lovely and crispy. Nothing to do with the stuffing but this will be a great compliment to the roast chicken tonight.

Speaking of the stuffing, I spruced mine up with lemon juice, sauteed garlic, and raisins. I usually add orange zest, and to be honest it really needs it, but don’t have any oranges today.

For the liquid, which is really important because you don’t want your stuffing dry, I added orange juice, white wine, stock from the liver/heart, and stock/juices from the chicken itself. Melted butter also works and I waited until the very end until pouring some all over the top and over the cranberries so they would turn golden brown and not burn.

This is really lame. I spelled the word “THANK-FUL” with the cranberries. You can’t even read it. You need to ask for the gift of interpretation to even see it. But thats OK. I know it’s there and its a teaching embedded into the stuffing that will impact people, even subconsciously, but the most important thing is that it has meaning for me.

Oh yes, those croutons. I took the rest of our bread, cut it up into cubes, and baked it in the oven until it was firm and a little brown. They need to be robust enough to handle the liquid. And I added herbs – whatever I had. Sage is awesome. Thyme is marvellous. I had neither, but, as I say, I used what I had. I also ran short on bread so I scraped off the pizza toppings from the pizza I made last night, cut up the bases and threw them in also. OHH and speaking of leftovers, I only ate half of that amazing Cubano sandwich from Cuban Kitchen in San Mateo yesterday so the ham and pork was also cut up and added to the stuffing. HA!!!!!

Back to my message.

This is my story

Last year I lost my wife. She died of malaria and other diseases. It was the darkest time of my life. I couldn’t sleep alone in a bedroom. I couldn’t make decisions. I lost the other half of myself and after 29 years of oneness with a single person, that is pretty much most of my life and certainly the life I was used to. On top of that I was really sick for a really long time, surviving the diseases that took my wife but basically unable to function for many many months.

And yet, throughout the entire time, I felt God’s presence in a calming way, knowing deep in my heart that He is good, He is faithful, He is patient, He is caring and He will look after me. He knows whats up and that spirit of thanksgiving that permeated my mind and heart was not a drummed up motion of obedience but rather the overflow of truth, of what was real.

Some people think God is distant and occasionally invades earth to bring disaster or tragedy. I see God as near, intimately connected to us and everything else, constantly enlivening and sustaining His creation, always standing guard and protecting us, and yet occasionally and empathetically removing his hand when He knows the time is right.

This is my song

The name of my song was thanksgiving. It was there all the way through the devastating process of losing my wife and explaining to my youngest daughter that she no longer had a mother. I am not being chirpy here. I am not being naive or brainlessly religious. Yes IT HURT. IT HURT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE and I was hurled into the Upside Down world of darkness, solitude, confusion, fear, GRIEF, emotional pain, and loss of hope for the future. I was BROKEN, plunged into grayness, emptied of life, emptied of hope. I am not reducing that reality or downplaying the significance of what happened to me. I am just saying that there was a soundtrack playing the entire time, a song of thanksgiving. And at my best moments, my grief gave birth to gratefulness.

I am still thankful.

I am thankful for so many good friends.

I am thankful for 29 years of marriage to the most wonderful woman on the planet.

I am thankful that I got to say everything to my wife before she went.

I am thankful that my wife got to finish her race and go out in the way she always imagined, in the country she loved.

I am thankful that my daughter was spared from disease and that I have 5 wonderful kids.

I am thankful for a softer heart and new wave of consideration for others. I am a different person  – more in tune with suffering and more empathetic to those who are going through loss.

I am thankful for the next season that is coming upon me and that I have the freedom to enter in. 

This is my dance

Grief has become my friend and my reminder of a wonderful life with a wonderful woman. My grief is warmer now than it was last year. My grief and the grieving process I have embraced has allowed me to push forward into new levels of understanding and awareness. That has given me a softer heart, as I said, and it has also positioned me to be of help to others who are also grieving. God comforts us so that we can comfort others.

When you lose someone, a lot of other people, more than you can imagine, also lose someone. Grief is a shared experience. Our friends feel the pain of our loss but they also struggle with their own loss. They find it awkward to talk to us about it. But the healing we experience is for them also.

A few months ago one of my wife’s best friends lost her husband. This is what I told her.

It’s a strange dance this grief of ours. We hold our own sadness and allow the processing to continue thru it’s various stages, knowing it moves forward step by step, finding firmer hold with each telling of the story, with each new person entering into the story and at the same time we become priests for others who find it awkward to enter, but know that they need to. We hold the keys for them. We give permission. We invite them into the dance and make it easy for them, we suggest, we put their words out in front of them, we show the appropriateness of the conversation, the shared hurt of loss, the rightful pace and flow of what needs to be said. Being closer to the pain and further along in the process, we hold out our leading hand and invite others into the dance, into the spiral of healing.

My hope tomorrow, at the church, is that other people who have experienced loss, whether the loss of parents or children or spouses, divorce (which can be far more devastating than the loss of  a spouse), the loss of dreams, whatever it is they have lost, that they might enter into that spiral of healing, and find themselves in that dance, with God, where the juxtaposition of pain and joy, of grief and thanksgiving, of tears and laughter, might come together to find healing, wholeness, hope, and a song of thanksgiving that will play on and on. Amen.

This is my stuffing

The stuffing is ready. Its not completely cooked with that attractive blackened burned look but I need to take it to Stockton tomorrow and they will heat it up right before the meal and I think it will come into its own at that moment. I might bring some parsley to freshen it up on location. If you look really carefully, you can almost see the word “THANK-FUL”. Almost.

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Top 5 Hot Dutch Oven Recipes

Anything you are able to cook in your kitchen oven, you can cook in a dutch oven. Your first time I heard that, I shown to myself, No way. Now, among my favorite items to listen to someone say is, Theres not the way that arrived around the scene of a dutch oven! The dutch oven can be basically just a large, heavy cooking pot, yet theyre best for anything from braising in order to bread baking. From home and in camp, this hefty pot is your ticket in order to everything via comforting stews along with soups to warm biscuits as well as chocolate cake. It is period you got them to perform inside your kitchen. Along With here are generally 5 delicious dutch oven meals you will be making within your dutch oven over these days. If anyone dont have got one, discover youself to be any greatest dutch oven! H024. Dutch Oven Whole Chicken Together With Root Veggies AndMushrooms Roasted chicken can be among these comfort food items that anyone simply require if this is actually cold outside along with you're very hungry. The Actual dutch oven I talk about along together with you here may end up being the easiest and a new lot delicious one. This kind of dutch oven complete chicken along with root veggies along with mushrooms recipe as straightforward as putting it plus some veggies inside a pot with each other in order to cook. Plus, the actual chicken on this recipe can be amazing juicy as well as tender. the meat falls off the particular bones so easily! Imagining your own house filled with just about all the smells regarding roasting chicken! Heaven! This is possibly not practical cook this delicious child each nights the actual week nevertheless I encourage you for you to definitely slow down at least once weekly as well as go in advance as well as take time to suit your own needs to enjoy the whole process of your fine meal with the family. Your preparation time for any Dutch Oven Chicken is just 30 minutes. Here may be the certainly 1 of the particular greatest dutch oven chicken recipes. H008. meyer lemon rosemary bread baked in a dutch oven! Among all of the dutch oven cooking recipes, this glorious meyer lemon rosemary Dutch oven bread may be the actual best bread Ive actually baked! Definitely among the actual best dutch oven bread recipes. Aroma involving lemon and also rosemary flecked throughout the dough create a new gloriously clean as well as intoxicating smell which will permeate the actual kitchen since the dough rises and also bakes. And Also as quickly as youve finished this bread masterpiece, you is going to be overwhelmed using a a sensation of pride as well as accomplishment that will loaf involving bread came from the kitchen! Seriously, additionally, it happens being certainly one of the actual easiest ever, too. Just Like I said, this comfort along with ease food will definitely relax an individual following a total day work. Bite it means bite the joy! And here may become the recipe. H029. Dutch Oven Deep Dish Pizza! Nothing just like a bit of pizza can easily inspire you! This dutch oven deep dish recipe has in order to be the particular best pizza recipe Ive actually made. That is actually unique and also should you really are a massive fan involving pizza, a person definitely must not miss this recipe. The idea is actually super easy to help make but chewy. The purpose why not make use involving your certain dutch oven to become able to bake this super chewy along with tasty baby! Here may become the recipe. Y156 Mouthwatering Dutch Oven Ribs Recipe Nothing says winter to any or all involving my children like several beautifully delicious dutch oven recipes. As Well As it's quick along with an straightforward process to create a rack involving ribs that may use a assortment associated with flavors depending around the rubs added. Via basic flavors like salt and also pepper to become able to scrumptious Southern rubs. Ribs really are generally a crowd-pleasing finger meals with parties or perhaps in a backyard barbecue. and it is definitely need to become cooked inside dutch oven particularly on holidays just like Fathers day. Its tasty nevertheless easy. Weve experimented the bit other delicious dutch oven recipes over the years. Nevertheless regarding me, nowadays I discovered an extremely tasty nevertheless easy to prepare rib recipe and obsess over it. The idea can be mouthwatering dutch oven ribs, among your easiest dutch oven camping recipes. The lazy day around camp in addition implies this tender mouthwatering camping dutch oven ribs on the dinner menu! This particular dutch oven cooking could be also more an elegant meal depending upon how you allow it for you to be as well as what you serve with it. Just About All you will need to complete can be put season your ribs, location these people inside the dutch oven and appearance it a couple of times. As soon As you try these delicious ribs throughout your personal significant dutch oven, anyone is likely to be similar to me, any crazy fan of these delicious tender babies! As Well As here may be the recipe. H055. DutchOven Cheesecake There are many surefire dutch oven recipes. but if you want to meet your current appetite, why not attempt this dutch oven cheesecakes recipe! This just isn't overly outdoor sweet, using just the proper quantity of tang, this dessert is actually a dream arrive true, in the crust for the filling. Whilst it could seem as though you can find many components in order to this dessert, it can become created throughout an afternoon and it is very best served chilled or maybe the subsequent day. This particular dutch oven cheesecake will be right for each as well as every occasion, regardless involving whether youre baking for your holidays, a unique supper party, or perhaps just to meet a weeknight cheesecake craving. Here is the recipe. Hope you like all of the easy dutch oven recipes here.