#but i gotta feed myself *something*. preferably something other than a sandwich.

[cartoon-gushes]

Grocery shopping sucks, 70$ spent on what? Fucking nothing. And then it'll be empty in like a week anyways

[pocketramblr]

Poll Results

Alright, that’s it, i’m tired of trying to sort the answers so yall just get the big list of all the free response answers to that quiz about ofa. be aware some are less safe for work than others.

memorable ones: OfA Snickerdoodle, I’d Give It To A Cat, So You Know Vore Right?, I’m in Love With Nana, Slicey Blood Oath, and Homoerotic Sword Fight

(My answer above is how I think it did happen, not how I want it to happen.) I personally think something along the lines of a Bruce Banner Jennifer Walker blood transfusion where the OFA holder doesn’t realize they’ve passed it on until later.

a tender kiss. perhaps loving. perhaps they're dying, and i already knew that they loved me, either platonically or otherwise, and we always knew that i'd be next. perhaps they tried so hard to make sure it never happened, and perhaps that tender kiss as an apology as much as it is a gift. sure sucks to be gay i guess 

Peacefully? By doing the do and making it a wonderful moment of lovemaking and passing on the future.. If we're in the middle of battle you bet your freaking butt I want them to kiss me dramatically, tell me they love me, and then yeet me away as they turn back to the fight. Ow but relationship goals. 

If we're not romantic because I am obsessed with the Duo Holders ship currently, blood works fine. Ingest it or have them pressing a bloody palm into a wound of mine *shrugs* Gotta pass it along somehow

Personally, I'd rather drink blood instead of hair. It feels less gross. But I'd pass it on as hair just to fuck with my successor

Hair or blood eating, but no touchy-touchy or whatever thx.

Probably a vial of blood so it’s easy and over quick

kiss 👉👈

i would like it to be blood from an already opened wound just cause it would probably less weird, ..........but knowing my luck and because irl my sister has attempted to feed me her baby teeth by shoving it to my lips and saying "eat", thats actually how i would get ofa. ( >:/ i have almost eaten at least two teeth this way because i thought she was being nice and giving me candy )

Consider: doing one of those blood oath things where you swear to be BFFs for eternity except now you also get a quirk out of it. But lbr kissing is way more romantic and you’ve made First/Second my new OTP, so I’ll stick with that for them. <3 But also, maybe to make the kiss option more romantic First thought something more along the lines of wishing he could give ~everything he has/all of himself~ to Second which counted as including his quirk, rather than specifically about giving him the power to defeat his brother?

This is going to sound gross but all ways of transferring DNA is. Just work up a sweat and have the other party drink it. It would probably be the best tasting option which is kinda a weird thing to think about. Nvm sweat doesn't contain DNA looked it up but I don't want to delete all of this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe a scraping of skin cells

Honestly the hair is probably the way I'd want to go. That or blood. Like just swallowing it.

Look, i know realistically it was probably some desparate on-the-brink-of-death "please defeat my brother" thing and oo, magic he gets the quirk. But consider. First's last fight with afo. Second is holding his bleeding body, crying. First gently cups Second's cheek and pulls him into a bloody kiss before dying. Second pulls himself together just long enough to flip off afo, barely resisting the urge to absolutely slaughter him, knowing he would lose. He finds his successor and trains him to the best of his ability, determined to not lose another person he cared for

I mean like dead skin cells probably dont work right? Except hair works so thats not true. So like you totally could lick someone to get OFA. Like could you imagine the whole holding your hand over someones mouth to shut them up but they lick you and they somehow wind up with your quirk, like crazy. What must have been the trial and error with this stuff cause they must have kept passing it inbetween each other to figure out its dna right. How long did it take for them to realize. Like you’re eating breakfast and theres a hair in your food like ew and why am i stronger now. Overall, comedic timing for getting a quirk would be hilarious.

My apprentice lays broken and bloody beneath me as I cradle them in my arms, crying on to an open wound on their face praying the power will be enough to save them

little bit of skin like a hang nail just like put it in a sandwich and dont thing about it

Put it in my coffee.

If I received it from Nana then I would love to have received it via eating her out~ though for passing it on to others I think I would just either spit into their mouths or shove a bleeding finger down their throat until they swallow and then run and get myself killed by AfO while taunting him with "I DON'T HAVE YOUR BROTHER'S QUIRK ANYMORE! SUCK MY NON-EXISTENT DICK YOU LOSER!"

knock me out and just inject the blood. if i have to actively think abt ingesting someone elses dna im gonna yeet myself into the ocean. to pass it on i'll just spit in a cup (or in their mouth) bc im not gonna make someone eat my hair nor is anyone getting my blood

who in their right mind would trust me with a power like ofa 💀afo just looks at me funny the quirk is his. im not a mc for a reason

Sexy battle where I’m the villain, and randomly the hero thinks “I wish I could save you”. Boom I punch them with bloody knuckles and the quirk passes to me. Now the hero has to teach me how to be good again. Also we fall in love.

You know, I always assumed I would head canon it as something romantic until canon proved me wrong But these options are so varied - I had to choose the most Dramatic (tm) one As for my actual answer: a gentle kiss with full consent from both parties

I will bite a holder as a sign of affection. There's probably some dead skin cells in the arm I can swallow by accident. They are used to this and sometimes we switch the quirk around for funsies.

You know, I spent like 10 minutes trying to think of something original here, but knowing my shit luck some bastard would spit in my drink or something and cast upon me the Curse of Bone Breaking and/or.... y’know..... AFO...........

okay this is gonna sound weird but. consider this i marry a very lovely women. we are in much love. we get attacked by evil people because she is a good hero but plot twist. i am secretly her nemisis. the attackers are my minions. i wanted her to protect me because i am very smol but. my comrades were too mean. she is nearly dead. "take this" she says. she kisses me and i am one for all. fuck, i say internally, but i dont tell her. she dies in my arms. i run and become vigilante and take down my once comrades. all is not well. i die unsatisfied. i eventually pass it onto a cat in an alleyway because they are the only one who is with me when i get hit with a back alley sniper

Blood or just like. skin. You could use nail clippers to take a bit off from a really fleshy area, like just under the nail. It's that easy

Spit in my food like an underpaid fast food worker.

i have long hair so that would not be ideal, but blood seems kinda...unsanitary, but i guess it would be better if i was 100% positive i wouldn't pass on some sort of disease. so if that could be ascertained then like a few drops of blood in a glass of water or something and then down the hatch, bam ofa passed on. i know other folks are probably typing some nsfw stuff but just. no. keep it in your pants y'all.

Blood transfusion First, pick a hospital Second, steal all their blood Third, have the previous user donate their blood to that hospital Fourth, get into a major accident and need a blood transfusion near the hospital you robbed Fifth, hope either OfA will only pass onto you bc your the intended recipient, or that no one else needs a blood transfusion Sixth, get the transfusion Seventh, steal all of the previous users blood back Eigth, return all the other stolen blood Ninth, get new identities, this crime leaves DNA everywhere Tenth, die of a blood clot due to incompatible blood types (optional)

okay realistically bleeding into a cut or a drop of blood into water and drinking it would be easiest but like... what if somehow dna could be baked into like a muffin or cookie or something... like i know when cooking with wines and stuff the alcohol cooks away and evaporates out but is that process the same for like blood? like if you baked your blood into a cookie would traces of your dna still be there? basically i want an ofa cookie (snickerdoodle preferably)

no i like my bones

drink a drop of blood. it'd go down easier than hair

no

Something dramatic and desperate in the heat of battle like blood or something

First of all, I think First passed OfA as he was dying entirely on accident, because Second was badly (though not critically) injured and they'd been sort of dancing around each other's feelings and doubting their own worth, so First, knowing he was dying and that his brother was a petty bitch who would probably kill Second anyway because he knows that First cared about him, kisses Second with blood on his lips and his last thoughts before dying are about how he wants Second to have the strength to survive if his brother comes after him.

If I was given the option of getting OfA, I wouldn't take it. I'm a coward and being given something like that is a death sentence.

If it was forced, probably ingesting the previous users blood, because blood is a lot easier to choke down than hair.

If I already had it and had to pass it on, I would want it to be something suitably dramatic like collapsing on the doorstep of a trusted loved one and explaining with my dying breath who killed me and why and then raising my blood covered hand to their face like I was going to caress their cheek only for them to taste blood. They cry and try to get me take it back and when I finally die they swear vengeance over my slowly cooling corpse.

Pass it on in a non-life threatening scenario where I decide I actually don’t like the weird bone breaking power a random person gave me as they were dying and wish I could pass it to someone else and through a weird set of circumstances end up accidentally cooking some of my own hair into brownies I was making because I shed like a dog and passing it to my new neighbor I came to welcome to the neighborhood.

Either drinking a glass of milk with their saliva (no icky hair taste), or an epic sharing of blood while clasping hands like knights in a noble brotherhood!

not by eating all mights long ass hair thats for sure, why did he give midoriya one of the longest ones he had, he has shorter hair right there on the back of his head. not to mention the fact of like how i would prefer to recieve it or give it away which would be just, fucking sharing a pop or something and swaping it through the backwash??? less nasty than hair and not as weird as the other options for spit which is like straight up spitting in a drink or the other persons mouth outside of kissing. if someone told me i had to eat their hair i would straight up say no thanks, cheers for the fitness glow up tho homie

I want nana 2 kiss me, on.,, the m,,,.."#*(@÷out.h pretty lady.,

Q-tip to the inside of the cheek

Those blood pacts where you slice your hands open and do a little handshake thing. Not very creative, but idk it just appeals to me

Via consumption of blood, babey

I would want it to be with a maybe maybe not homoerotic sword fight in a Wendy's parking lot, preferably while we are both being impaled on each other's swords. The sweet pain of almost dying is a very intense moment to share isn't it?

Sweet love

Hair

If it's someone cute, a kiss. Otherwise I'd probably just swallow a hair with some water.

i'd just like. spit in their water bottle. if thats not enough dna i guess licking a paper cut it is. hair is bad idwa bc it doesn't digest and can get wrapped up in things. and like. im too aroace for kissing and such

Last option, cause first is sexy as hell

okay you know what vore is, right. and you know how blood and organ transfusions work? well...

Not at all, like?? I enjoy being alive and not having my body destroyed thank you. Literally everyone with OfA died young-ish or has suffered debilitating injuries bc of it. Like Midoriya's bones are powder, and we don't even need to go into All Might's medical history. Like thanks but no thanks no freaky dna ingestion 4 me

Had a open cut from a can lid and ofa holder had an open cut. While lamenting about fins a successor.

Blood

Assuming we can bypass the rules of canon, it would be funny as fuck is OFA was passed on by intentional physical contact. So yes, a smooch for First and Second (and Second and Third) but also. Bitchslap of destiny. Nana giving her protege one last hug. All Might ruffles Mido’s hair like a dad to pass it on. I’m sure you get it

Bleeding over an open wound

lil bit of spit in a milkshake.

I hold their hand Platonically but it's summer and we're both sweaty and they're a little loopy and having weird thoughts due to dehydration and heat lmao, literally hanging around anyone for any extended period of time guarantees you accidentally ingest SOME of their dna. Dead skin cells are floating through the air ~constantly~ and if you have a friend I promise you've inhaled their dead skin cells before. Have fun with that knowledge!!

ok so like deffo a kiss, but in canon people get weird biological urges for using their quirks, like bby Toga drinking bird blood. First has had a LOT of "spit in their drink" intrusive thoughts over the years. immediately post first-kiss he is mystified that his intrusive thoughts have disappeared entirely, but then BAM it seems that second has the stockpile now, and with it, a preoccupation with vampire lore

drink from the same water bottle?

“EAT THIS!”

Pass it on by making them lick my arm because that would make them rly uncomfortable, passed to me by spiting in my 20oz Red Bull and then chugging it

[excelsi-or]

just a little sweeter (pt.3)

Hi friends~~ I hope you guys all had a good relaxing weekend! I am back with more Jihoon & baby times. :D

BIPOC time: if you guys can, please check out this linktree by antiracismdaily on IG. It has links to donate for Jacob Blake, who was unarmed and shot by police in the back and is now paralyzed from the waist down, and the Milwaukee Freedom Fund. As well as a link to demand justice for Jacob.

w.c. 2.3k (domestic fluff, this is one of my faves)

pt. 1; pt. 2

Over the next few weeks, every time someone drops a coffee off at his desk, Jihoon can’t help but think about the woman standing behind the counter who made it. She’s helped him out more than once on a hard day with Eunha, and he hasn’t even properly thanked her for either incident. He’s taken Eunha to the café after work a few times, when he doesn’t know what to make his daughter for dinner. She hasn’t been there, but the employees are always happy to see him.

“You should really feed her better,” Seungkwan says. He brought Eunha soup when Jihoon said he’d forgotten to pack either of them a lunch.

“I know,” Jihoon sighs, still focused on finishing up one of the last few songs for the album. “All I’ve been able to really think about is all our deadlines.”

“I told you that if you wanted, we could go to a cooking class so you could learn quick recipes.”

“And I said that would be a bad idea.”

“Eunha doesn’t have to come,” Seungkwan reminds him. He looks over at Jihoon. “Besides, you can’t keep her hidden forever. The staff at the café know you have a child. How long until that gets out?”

“If they haven’t said anything already, considering how often I go, I’m guessing I have some time,” Jihoon says.

“We’re out of here earlier tonight. Soonyoung hyung said that we should rest a bit,” Seungkwan scoffs. Eunha grabs his wrist to remember to feed her. “So maybe you should cook this little on dinner, hmm?”

Eunha giggles.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

But Jihoon does listen to him. The younger man is right; his daughter should eat better. As she is slowly starting to prefer walking to being carried, she has her hand clasped around his finger. It takes a little longer to make it to the store near the studio, but they get there with only one near fall.

Jihoon stands at the front of the produce section, already overwhelmed.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Jihoon turns at the voice. He recognizes her immediately. “Hey. It’s late.”

She nods. “One of my girls was having issues with her boyfriend, so there was no one to watch her kid until her mom got back from a doctor’s appointment.” She waves it off. “Gotta cook myself dinner.”

Jihoon hums. “They want us to rest for once,” he chuckles. “So I thought that I would cook the little one dinner.”

She crouches down and holds a hand out for a high five. “Hello.”

“I guess I’ve never introduced you. This is Eunha.”

She glances up at Jihoon. “She looks like you.” Her eyes fall to Eunha who still has a hand pressed to hers. She wraps Eunha’s tiny hand in hers. “Are you excited for daddy to cook you dinner?”

Eunha pulls a face. Jihoon’s learned that his daughter understands much more than she can speak, so she answers with facial expressions. Most of which she’s learned from Seokmin and Soonyoung.

“Oh,” she laughs. She straightens. “I guess you’re not much of a cook.”

“Never really had to learn until now,” Jihoon admits.

She looks around and shrugs. “How healthy are we trying to go? Or are you just going quick and easy?”

“Quick and easy,” Jihoon answers. “And if you can write down all the instructions, that would be great.”

“I could show you if you’d like.”

Jihoon tilts his head.

“You and Eunha can come to my place for dinner and I’ll show you how to make it. It’s always easier than words on paper. Then you’ll also know what it should look like.” 

He can’t say no to an offer like that. He also doesn’t want to tell this woman no.

Jihoon trails after her as she begins to fill her basket with produce.

“That seems like a lot of stuff.”

“Most of it is for me,” she laughs. “The recipe I’m thinking of, I have most of the ingredients at home.”

“Oh. Do you want to meet at the front then?”

She looks over at him with a tomato in her hand. “Do you have other things you need to grab?”

“Well, no. I just don’t want you to feel pressured or annoyed that we’re around.”

She laughs. “If I thought that, Woozi-ssi, I wouldn’t have invited you over.”

“Woo-zi,” Eunha repeats.

“Call me Jihoon.” Jihoon taps Eunha’s head. “And you call me Dad.”

She smiles at the exchange and introduces herself in kind. They wander through the store. She picks up snacks, and asks Jihoon what sort of snacks he likes. “I know you’re coming for dinner, but everyone likes to snack while they cook.”

Jihoon asks about her work and how she got into it. In turn, she asks about Eunha and her personality. As Eunha is currently Jihoon’s favourite topic of conversation, he doesn’t mind sharing.

By the time they’re in the check out line, Jihoon feels comfortable. Eunha appears to be as well, because without hesitation, she grabbed this stranger’s hand when Jihoon offered to carry the grocery basket. With a reuseable bag each, she leads Jihoon in the opposite direction of his apartment.

“I heard you’ve been coming in more often.”

Jihoon hums. “When I don’t have time to cook her dinner, ironically enough, I’ll head into the café.”

“And here I thought you’d never step foot into my establishment. The members said you’re a hermit.”

“I don’t usually go anywhere, because…” He nods his head towards Eunha, who is walking between them. Her hands are clasped around each of theirs. “Not great for the idol image if I suddenly have a child and no mother.”

“You never mention her mother.”

Jihoon hesitates. This is further in the conversation than he wanted to go.

“We don’t have to talk about her. I’m pleased you come in and like my food.”

“The dinosaur sandwiches are a nice touch,” Jihoon admits, relieved that she can read the situation well. Every situation well. Each time Jihoon has felt uncomfortable, she’s changed the topic of conversation.

“It must be hard to have to take her everywhere.”

“The job allows it and the members are great with her. I honestly couldn’t ask for a better set up.”

She gives Eunha’s hand a light tug towards an apartment and they walk up the steps. She drops Eunha’s hand and fumbles for a key in her bag to let them in. They take the elevator up to the third floor, and almost immediately, Jihoon is hit with a whiff of… dog.

“Sorry,” she mutters when Eunha claps a hand over her nose. “One of the neighbours has four dogs and doesn’t bathe them often enough. When it rains, it really makes the smell permeate.”

Jihoon scoops Eunha up with one arm, so they can hurry down the hallway. As soon as they step foot into her apartment, the smell shifts to something lighter. It smells like clean laundry in her home and Eunha sighs in relief. Jihoon sets her down and his daughter slips out of her shoes. She stands at his side, eyes peering curiously into the darkened living room.

“Come here, Eunha,” she beckons. She leads them into the living room, flicking on the light. She disappears into one of the bedrooms and reemerges with a basket of toys. She sets it down on the floor and Eunha is all over them. There is a colouring book that the little one gravitates towards and Jihoon notices the desk with art supplies on it when she grabs a cup of crayons. She sets it down on the rug and Eunha lies stomach down and quickly begins colouring a page.

Jihoon squats down next to his daughter and runs a hand over her hair. “Do you want water?”

“No,” she says.

“Okay, we’ll be in the kitchen.” Jihoon kisses the top of her head before heading to the kitchen. “The toys?”

“My little brother,” she chuckles as they unload the groceries. “It doesn’t make sense to bring all his toys here every time, so I have a box of them.” She shrugs. “I try to get us out of the house, so he can use up his energy. But on rainy days, we make do.”

Jihoon pulls products out so she can put them away. Once everything appears to be put away, she pulls ingredients out and Jihoon can already guess what they’re making. “We’re making kimchi and bacon mac and cheese.”

She grins at him. “I told you it was easy.”

“Is it bad that I don’t know how to make it?”

“And that’s why you’re here.”

Cooking is easy and Eunha does stumble in a few times looking for something to eat. Jihoon hands her a few snacks, but tries to pay as much attention as he can while she explains how to make the mac and cheese. It seems so straightforward, but when they sit down to eat—Eunha sat on five cushions—Jihoon is surprised at how good it tastes. Eunha happily eats with a hand and a fork.

She chuckles as she stands and returns with a bib. She ties it gently around Eunha’s neck. “There you go, kiddo. Go crazy.”

Eunha stares down at the dinosaurs on the bib and smiles wider.

“I can’t help all the mess on her face,” she apologizes.

Jihoon shakes his head. “You’ve done more than enough.”

“Do you let her eat sweets?”

Jihoon’s eyes widen, but when he looks to Eunha, she’s so focused on dinner that she doesn’t hear anything.

“Judging from your reaction, I’m going to assume you try not to,” she laughs. “Hyper?”

“Intensely so.”

“Do you let her eat the sweets alone?”

“Usually. I mean, I don’t eat when she eats.”

She nods her head thoughtfully as she pops some food in her mouth.

“Should I be?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s my own idea of parenting.” She rests her cheek in her hand. “And I’m not a parent.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“You’re doing just fine, Jihoon.” She gives him a light kick under the table. “Look at her. She’s gorgeous and healthy. Aren’t you, kiddo?”

Apparently, Eunha only listens if she’s talking, because her large doe eyes turn to her as soon as she hears the nickname. Just her looking makes Eunha smile widely.

“So, don’t stress much.”

Jihoon scoffs at the praise. “Back to the topic of feeding.”

She snorts. “Right.” She brushes some of Eunha’s hair out of her face, but it continues to fall into the girl’s mouth. She stands and pulls the pieces around Eunha’s face up into a little ponytail and ties with the elastic around her wrist. “There we go.”

She sits back down and gives Jihoon her full attention. If she can see the fondness in his eyes, she doesn’t acknowledge it. “Right. Feeding. You should eat with her. It will make her want to eat, you get to eat, and why would eating together ever be a bad thing?”

“Because then I also have to feed her.”

She looks from him to Eunha, who hasn’t needed any assistance except to get her hair out of her face.

“I think she can manage feeding herself.”

Jihoon hums. “I guess you’re right.” Maybe he hasn’t realized how big his little one has gotten.

She chews a mouthful. “When my little brother comes over, he makes the biggest mess. My parents hate it, but…” she shrugs, “throw everything in the wash, wipe it down with a towel, and everything is the same. He gets to learn how to do things on his own and I don’t have to coddle him all the time.”

“And you feed him dessert?”

She finishes the last of her mac and cheese. “I usually give him fruit. Ice cream if I have it.”

Eunha says nothing, but looks to her expectantly.

“But I don’t have it today,” she apologizes. “Do you like fruits, kiddo?”

“Strawberry,” Eunha says.

Jihoon lifts an eyebrow. That’s news to him.

“Hmm,” she hums.  She peers into her fridge and says, “Well, I don’t have strawberries, but…” She brings out a peach and crouches down next to Eunha so they’re eye level. Then she holds the peach in her palm. “How about this?”

Eunha tips her head.

“Peach,” she states.

Eunha sounds out the word. “Pee-each.”

Grinning, she nudges it into Eunha’s hands. “I’ll let your dad cut it for you, hmm?”

Eunha holds the fruit between her hands, her thumbs running over the fuzz. Then she holds it out to Jihoon when he has a knife.

“You keep your peaches in the fridge?”

“Only for when my little brother is going to eat it. For whatever reason, he prefers it cold.”

“You’re saying she cooked you dinner?” Seungcheol asks down the line.

Jihoon hikes Eunha up higher. She’d fallen asleep after dinner and Jihoon didn’t want to keep her any longer. “Yeah. Well mostly Eunha, but we ate it too.”

“And she just… invited you to her house.”

“Yeah. Is it weird?”

“Jihoon. The woman is interested in you.”

“Well…” Jihoon can’t exactly argue that. With a daughter, he’s suddenly become very adept at reading people. He can tell when a woman is interested in him. Maybe it’s because he has to think about Eunha too now. “Yeah, I know.”

“Well, my next question is going to be are you interested in her?”

“Eunha loves her.”

“I’m asking about you.”

“I don’t know,” Jihoon admits. “I think I like the help.”

“What if you just ask her out on a date?”

“And do what with my daughter?”

Seungcheol snorts. “Obviously we can watch your daughter.”

Jihoon pauses. As great as Seungcheol and Jeonghan are with Eunha, Jihoon feels significantly better asking Seungkwan to watch her. And he says as much.

“Well, bring her to their dorm then,” Seungcheol snorts. “All I’m saying is that asking the woman on one date isn’t going to make you burst into flames.”

[momscafeblog]

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  Our first ever road trip happened when my little baby was just 5 days old…We took a 14 hour drive up the east coast. Not ideal according to our planned schedule but she graced us with her presence a bit earlier than expected, so we NEEDED to hit the road soon after she was born! Talk about being thrown into mommy hood! Our most recent road trip fast forwards seven years later, to this past weekend. Yet again we have taken an impromptu road trip! (I think we have a pattern here)

We had an amazing time for such a short and jam-packed trip! We drove down to spend some quality time with family. We watched an Easter production in church, that our cousin has starred in…a phenomenal depiction of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Praise God!

Check out and follow our Instagram Page, for a few of our Road Trip Highlights from our Instagram story…

Now, I am not going to lie to you. Road tripping with small children can be tough. Between “are we there yet?”, the “I’m Hungry”ies, and the cries from the front seat you may not want to embark on a long family journey at all. BUT I am here to tell you it is doable momma! There are a few essentials that can help you survive hours in a confined, moving vehicle without losing your…

…shirt! 

Here’s how we survived our most recent and EVERY road trip!

First….

What to Pack

Aside from your essentials needed once you reach your destination, there are a few items you will find necessary to have with you and easily accessible in the car! Don’t make the mistake of packing it away and having to exit the interstate just to dig through a suitcase in the trunk. When on a road trip, it is ideal to keep things close. Make things easier on yourself mom. Have a dedicated bag (or two) that you will keep inside the vehicle within arms reach to you or any other adult passenger who can assist.

The contents of your travel bag/organizer depend on the age of your child(ren)…however some are commonly necessary for ALL ages, while other items can fall within the same ‘categories’ stated below. You should have the following:

Travel First Aid Kit: This one is fairly easy. Target has small first aid kits in the travel section, that can even fit in your purse. Kids come with scrapes and boo boo’s, unpredictable fevers, coughs & runny noises…anything can happen so it’s better to be prepared. While I’m in that same section mommies, I usually grab a travel sized motrin (for myself in case-I deal with migraines)…head over to the pharmacy side and a smaller children’s tylenol/motrin just to have on hand. Kids can be unpredictable. If this is a longer trip…just in case a cold or fever decides to emerge out of nowhere, I bring with me cold/flu meds from home or pick one up, so I am not frantically looking for something in an unfamiliar area (and probably costs 3x more than normal price) if we need it!

Food/Snacks: Before a road trip I stock up on our travel food. I personally prefer, now that my daughter is 7, INDIVIDUAL prepackaged snacks, tiny water bottles, and juice boxes/pouches. At home I will usually make sandwiches the night before travel (without mayo if I fear keeping them cool will be a problem) This is perfect! She can open her individual bag of chips, goldfish etc…and enjoy a sandwich all by herself. Also organic lunch/snack boxes do the trick as well! This is an economical approach to meals & we didn’t lose time by stopping every 10 minutes for a snack. Car rides tend to get “snacky” very fast.

If your baby is primarily feeding on breast milk or formula, prep yourself by storing your frozen breast milk/milk in a cooler or thermal regulated/insulated bag…plenty of ice packs to keep it fresh! To heat the milk, there are several travel options on amazon like this one:

If that is unavailable to you momma, no worries. Sometimes you just gotta old school it and be resourceful! Warm your baby’s milk when you come to the next rest stop. Ask for, or purchase a cup of hot water…fill it about half way (as not to overflow it), place your baby’s bottle inside the cup of water and bring it to temperature. Mom hack! Trust me, this was the trick on our very first road trip….

Potty Breaks

Traveling with children WILL require potty breaks but may require them OFTEN. Tiny bladders can’t hold it…

Again, depending on the age of your child, please modify your approach to suit your child’s needs.

Before my daughter was potty trained and completely in diapers, it wasn’t terrible to change her diaper in the car at the next convenient rest area. Our travel changing station was perfect to use right in the back seat…AND perfect to use in our hotel or home, where we resided as guests on our trip.   

If you’re fancy, you can purchase a back seat organizer. This one comes with the changing pad.  This makes everything easy to get to…not to mention prevents your car from looking like a hot mess!

They even have a few compatible for the front and back seat!

  If your child is in the potty training stage, there are different types of portable potties like this one by Summer Infant, available on amazon. How it works is fairly simple…child goes potty…and the contents are completely disposable. Trust me mommies you will appreciate this one! Sometimes there isn’t another rest stop for MILES around. Avoid having any “whoopsies” in the car…not to mention, it keeps you out of the germy public restrooms!

Hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes or the old school soap and water (bottle) to wash your hands when there’s nothing else around, and you’re good to get back on the road!  

Activities

So now comes the hard part…keeping the little one occupied and keeping your sanity!

Bring every travel friendly activity imaginable. Pack some toys…perhaps a few of your child’s favorites, travel activity packs…Target’s dollar section is good for that!

For the toddlers and school age children, it’s a good idea to have a Travel Tray. This tray will allow your child to easily color, place their snacks, race their cars…stores everything they need within their little reach, while mommy keeps her hands at 10 and 2.

  If you can, have plenty of audio books, Disney soundtracks, and cute road trip games on hand!

Lastly…

Don’t pressure yourself mommy. If everyone is frustrated and needs a break…STOP. Rest, stretch your legs…get some fresh air. Even research before you go, which areas along your route are kid friendly and good places to stop and visit. Parks, shopping malls…maybe a quick visit to a museum en route. Just getting from the car will do everyone GOOD! Running off some of the little one’s energy isn’t such a bad idea. It may be needed and crucial to your road trip survival!  

Share some of your road trip stories and must haves for a family road trip! Let us know in the comments! Share your #MomStory!

Check out our ‘Hello Spring’ series here, with tips for the new season!

Hey mommies! The weather has been great and it is an exciting time of year to go on FAMILY VACATION ! Before you hit the road, check out our new blog post on: How to Road Trip with Kids! #travel #motherhood *This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission if you click a link and purchase something we have recommended, at no cost to you.

[artificialqueens]

Justifying the American Dream *Title may change* (GROUP FIC/MULTISHIP) ~ Grinder

AN: I know I said I’d return after my University work is over but I wanted to post this little pilot thingie early to see how it does. I’ve got most of my Uni work done, right now I just gotta do an exam and I’m finished.

So basically this is something I wanna work heavily on after Courtney’s Infinite Search for Love. The premise is that paper and metallic money doesn’t exist anymore. The World now makes payments via digital transfers and purchases. There are reasons for this which I’ll explain in later chapters of the fic. But one day there’s a glitch in the system and so many families across the World are left penniless. When the Government refuse to give the families anything from the issue, riots break out all over.

Now you’re probably wondering how Drag Queens come into this but it will explain as the story goes along. For now all I’ll say is that the LGBT is a targeted and persecuted community in this fic therefore the Queens are trying to hide it out and survive against their enemies.

Sorry for the long explanation! I will reupload this chapter at a later date if I feel errors need to be corrected or if certain elements or Queens are missing.

For now! Enjoy :)

*Area 05*Exploris Bay Aquarium 12:43PM

‘Christ, I don’t know if I can stand one more day in this fish bowl. Smells like 200 lesbians just had an orgy on their periods in here.’

Bianca scoffed passing by the giant tank of which Adore was perched at the top on the ledge. The young Queen scraped up a large amount of fish chunks and tossed it into the tank for her babies to feed.

“Wow! You sharkie babies are pretty hungry today, huh?” Adore cooed at the two sharks that circled the tank and ate their meal.

“Better be careful, Delasshole,” Bianca called, “they may be your babies. But you’re also in their plate of foods.”

“Fuck all the way off. They love me.” Adore called back, flipping Bianca off before throwing more fish into the tank. “Where are you going anyway?”

Before leaving the ‘Shark Suite’, Bianca turned once again, looking up to her young friend. “Dela and Manila are back from scavenging. I’m just letting them in. Relax, Queen.”

“Party!” Adore replied, setting the tray to the side. She grabbed for an extra large chunk of fish from the bucket (thank god she was wearing gloves) and held it above the water. “Bette! You want an extra-large piece? I know you chunkier girls prefer a little extra.”

It was easy to tell which shark was which. Bette was the short but chubby Bull shark, formally known as ‘Snap’. How original. Then there was Joan. The long and skinny Mako shark. Her name was the worst. ‘Killer’. It made the Queen cringe hard.

“Beeeeeeette!” Adore whined as the shark completely blanked her. “Stop being a bitch.”

Bianca had returned to the room, Manila and Bendelacreme following in her trail.

“Feeding your ‘puppies’ again?” Manila teased.

“Yeah, but they’re not complying!” Adore continued to whine.

“I wouldn’t do that, honey,” Dela warned, “You could lose a hand.”

“Why would I lose a hand? They know I’m their Mom.” Adore protested before her face became goofy again and she turned her attention back to her pets. “Isn’t that right, babies?”

Adore screamed as one of her children sprang up from the water snatching the fish from her hand. The Queen pushed herself away from the edge of the tank, her back plastered against the wall and her breathing ragged.

‘Bette always was a feisty bitch.’ Bianca thought to herself as they laughed at Adore’s current state.

“Come on, Steve Irwin. Team meeting!” Bianca called up to the young Queen again. She turned to Dela and Manila and said in a quiet voice, “his career ended as well. Too soon?”

Manila and Dela shook their heads and chucked at the statement, not loud enough for Adore to hear.

“O-Oh…Okay…Gimme a second to collect myself.” Adore called to the other Queens, trying to calm herself from her near death experience.

-_-_-_-

Adore had informed Raja and Ginger of Manila and Dela’s return bringing the whole team to the staff room of the aquarium.

“There’s good news and bad news.” Manila began. “Which one first?”

“Bad.” Bianca replied.

“This is all the food we managed to get.” Manila responded setting a small package down on the table. “There is absolutely nothing left. All of the houses and stores have been completely raided.”

“Fuck.” Bianca cursed, leaning over and letting her face fall into her hands.

Adore only hoped that the good news was enough to help them forget about the thought of their oncoming starvation.

“We knew eventually there would be no food left anyway. Don’t forget, it’s not just us trying to survive. Think about those starving families all across the country.” Raja groaned, flipping her raven hair over her shoulder.

“I’m aware.” Bianca snapped. She rubbed her forehead in frustration before turning to Adore. “Sorry to tell you but you gotta cut back on the amount of fish you feed to your ‘children’. Fish themed meals from now on, ladies.”

Adore looked greatly disappointed but remained silent. She knew Bianca was right. The lives of her team were obviously a bigger priority than Bette and Joan’s. The poor sea babies would starve eventually. The thought of not being able to take care of them anymore only made a lump form in her throat. It was the only thing keeping her from going insane when confined in the abandoned aquarium.

“And the good news?” Bianca inquired, looking back to Dela and Manila.

“We saw Bob.” Manila stated, in a matter-of-fact tone but smiled at the other Queens.

“And her team? In the van?” Ginger exclaimed eagerly, leaning forward in her seat.

“Yeah, they drove right by us. At first we thought it was gonna be trouble but we saw Michelle Visage and Cynthia Lee Fontaine in the front. That’s how we got this package. They threw it out the window when they passed by.” Manila replied, clearly awestruck.

“Wow. You Queens saw someone famous. Great news.” Bianca fumed, sarcasm thick in her tone.

“Lighten up, Scrooge.” Dela snapped back. “They’ll have Area 05 searched by now. They’ll know where all the supplies and resources are at. All we gotta do is pick up their signal and get to the locations before anyone else does.”

Ginger stood up from her seat and went to retrieve the radio, leaving the rest of the team to continue discussing the situation.

“So…food?” Raja asked hopefully.

“And ammunition.” Manila replied, smiling hopefully.

Adore’s face lightened up again at the sound of her second favourite ‘F’ word. “So I can still feed Bette and Joan?”

“Slow down, honey. We gotta see if there are any resources around here first.” Dela held up her hand as if Adore were about to pounce on her with happiness.

“And we shall find out pretty soon.” Ginger continued, returning with the radio. Taking her seat again, she flicked the switch bringing the machine to life. Flicking through the channels they mostly picked up static. After a minute of searching, the familiar sound Bob the Drag Queen’s voice filled the room.

“…just about left Area 05, ladies and gentlemen. As always, we have no idea when we’ll be back but keep on tuning in and we’ll be sure to keep you updated. For all the Queens out there, we had our sisters in drag, Robbie and Laila, search the area and, guuurl, is it good news. We have unlocked the storage units at the back of the mall and they are flooded with surprises. But don’t forget to be mindful of your fellow sisters out there. Sharing is caring.”

“We’re heading straight there,” Bianca informed Adore and Raja before listening to the rest of the announcement.

“And also be sure to check out the Prison on the edge of town. Word is it’s crowded with Queens. Take weapons, take a good few of your team and check that place out. If the rumour is true, don’t hesitate to join forces. After all, an army is more effective than a group. Good luck and don’t fuck it up.”

As soon as Bob’s voice was gone, Adore smiled as Kill the DJ took over. It had been so long since she heard Green Day. But Bianca wasted no time in remembering the good old days when good music existed as she was already standing and looking to Adore. “Come on, bitch. Get ready. You too Raja. I wanna get there as soon as possible.”

“Relax, man! Don’t forget we gotta leave some for everyone else too!” Adore whined.

“’Relax, man’.” Bianca mocked. “I’m not planning on taking everything. There could be other selfish people out there you know. We could get there and nothing’s left. Besides we probably wouldn’t have enough arms to carry all of whatever’s there.”

“Ohhh! Party!” Adore beamed, standing up from her seat. They three Queens left the room to get ready for their scavenger hunt.

“So what’s in the goody bag?” Ginger asked, now that the air seemed much more relaxed.

Dela began to unwrap the package revealing inside some food and a letter. The Seattle Queen unfolded the letter and began reading in her usual quirky tone.

“Dear Friend(s),

It was nice to see you earlier! We’re glad to see a lot more Drag Queens continuing to survive through this nightmare of a life we live now. Anyway, as always, have a goody bag on behalf of our team. Inside you’ll find cookies, sandwiches, fresh water and a little something extra (thanks to Laganja Estranja of the House of Edwards) for you Queens who like the ‘Devils lettuce’.

Keep in mind. This pack won’t last long so use it wisely.

As we say always and forever…

Good luck and don’t fuck it up!

Michelle V. & the Bob’s Broadcasts team.

“Well that was lovely.” Dela commented, passing the note to the other Queens. “Do you think they do this for everyone?”

“Of course, honey.” Ginger replied, reading over the note.

“I’m referring to the LGBT community only.” Dela added.

“Well, I’ve briefly read one of these notes before. That’s a story for another day. They’re practically all the same. I remember the part when it says ‘We’re glad to see a lot more Drag Queens bla bla bla’. So it most likely is only for us. It’s not like the broken families are missing out though. I heard there’s this guy who does something similar and travels around the country handing out food and supplies. But it’s way more than this pack.” Ginger explained, gesturing to the goodie bag.

“Do you guys remember the day everything went to shit?” Dela asked, her tone lowering upon moving on to such a dark topic.

“For who? All those families or for us?” Ginger replied solemnly.

Dela was silent for a few seconds, observing Ginger as she passed the letter to Manila and shook her head, pulling a cigarette from its box.

“All of us.” The Seattle Queen replied lifting her gaze to Ginger.

“I don’t wanna be that Queen. But how about we talk about that later. Right now, let’s just enjoy our goodie bag.” Ginger replied, lighting her cigarette. She breathed in its fumes, sinking back into her chair as a smoke cloud escaped her lips.

“Should I let Bianca and the girls borrow my pineapple purse?” Manila suggested, moving away from the dark topic and thinking about her fellow teammates.

“Still think it brings good luck?” Dela teased including a giggle.

“Of course, girl. And besides;” Manila paused, leaning her head on Dela’s shoulder, sighing heavily, “You know what Adore’s like. Always causing trouble. Maybe she’ll need it.”

“True.” Dela replied, wrapping her arm around her worn out friend. “She’s one untameable Queen.”

*5 miles out of Area 18* 01:14PM

 “So, what do you think?” Tatianna chirped, tossing her carrier bag on the double bed, to which it only fell off. Turning to face Alyssa, she beamed a bright smile as she tried to contain her excitement.

Alyssa threw her jacket to the side as she observed the bedroom. It was quite cute actually. “I won’t lie. It’s not bad. Kinda pretty.”

Tatianna approached Alyssa, squealing with excitement and wrapping her slender arms around her waist. She squeezed her slightly, planting a kiss on her cheek. “I told you so!”

“Yeah, but listen baby, I still don’t think this is safe.” Alyssa pointing her finger in her friend’s face whilst still admiring the room. “It may be in the middle of nowhere. But that doesn’t mean we’ll never get our gay asses caught. For all we know this farm house ain’t abandoned. The family could be on vacation or something.”

Tatianna rolled her eyes at Alyssa’s whining despite finding it adorable as always. “Well they haven’t been receiving mail. So…”

Alyssa pulled out of Tatianna’s embrace, remaining silent as she went to unpack her bag.

“Coooome on. Relax, Alyssa.” Tatianna rolled her eyes as she reached for her own bag.

“And not to mention that we’re most likely not the only people eyeing this place up. There could be all sorts of hooligans and Queens and creepers and - -”

Alyssa was caught off guard as Tatianna wrapped her arms around her again and pulling her abruptly down onto the bed. Seeing the older Queen’s shocked reaction, Tatianna giggled.

“No, Tati. We just got here. God, gurl, you’re so thirsty.” Alyssa spoke sternly, pointing a finger in Tatianna’s face yet remained lying on her side facing her friend.

“I know, you just need to lie down and relax. God. Get your mind out of the gutter.” Tatianna smirked.

“Nah, baby. We should unpack first,” Alyssa pointed out.

“But old men gotta have their rest!” Tatianna continued to tease. Before Alyssa could even protest about being read, the younger Queen silenced her as she pressed her lips against hers. Despite the sudden clash, her pink lips were soft.

Tatianna lifted her hand to Alyssa’s cheek, caressing her skin gently as their lips moved in sync against each other.

“ALYSSA! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!”

Alyssa and Tatianna pulled apart quickly, sitting upright on the bed. Alyssa’s eyes widened at the sight of Laganja and Shangela in the doorway. The two looked completely speechless, naturally.

“Well? What is it??” Alyssa demanded, a hint of annoyance to her tone.

“Uhhh…I just wanted to let you know they have a weed grow room.” Laganja tried to explain but finding herself distracted by their messy lipstick. “I can supply more to Bob again.”

Alyssa nodded her head slowly as her eyes just pierced into Ganja’s with that familiar stare she did - god she was such an intense person. “OK, well you two go do…whatever you want, but no leaving the farm! Just get to know the place, set up safety guards or something. Play hide and seek or something.”

“Smoke?” Laganja inquired earning a nudge from Shangela.

“Whatever you want, girl.” Alyssa shook her head but couldn’t help but smirk slightly.

“And what are you two gonna be doing over the duration of the time we do all this?” Shangela teased, folding her arms.

“A lot of unpacking.” Tatianna cut in.

“Well, have fun unpacking our things for us too, girl. Really appreciate it.” Shangela beamed a toothy grin at her as she turned to leave, Laganja following her actions. Before they could leave, Shangela turned around once more looking at the two Queens. “Don’t forget to lock the door this time.”

Before they could see their drag mothers horrified face, the two Queens quickly shut the door, rushed downstairs and out the front door.

*Outskirts of Area 05* 01:17PM

Thorgy Thor took a seat on a bean bag as the engine fired up and the van began to move. She took a bite into her small sandwich when she looked around to Cynthia who was now sitting in the back with the rest of the group, not normal for Cynthia. She always insisted on helping Michelle in the front. Thorgy didn’t like the look on her face quite. She was always so cheerful and full of high energy. But it was the complete opposite in that moment.

“You’ve been kinda quiet since we left Area 05. Something wrong, Cynthia?” Thorgy asked, shuffling closer to her friend.

“I dunno. I don’t think I should bring it up ‘cause everyone’s quite happy right now, you know?” Cynthia uttered, looking around to her team seeing them so happy and entertained.

Thorgy briefly looked away from Cynthia and to her hands, quickly thinking of something else to say, before returning her gaze to the brunette. “Well, if there’s something really getting to you then just know I’m all ears.”

Cynthia smiled and nodded her head before gesturing the Queen to get closer. “It’s just…whenever we pass by Queens on the road I always wonder if I’ll ever see April and Kandy.”

Thorgy’s mouth formed an O as she listened. Taking the information, she looked away and nodded her head. “We probably will eventually. Maybe not any time soon. It could happen a month from now for all we know. A year? Any time to be honest. But we promise, if we do see them, they’re coming with us.”

“But to be honest, with their behaviour the way it is right now, they’re gonna get themselves killed.” Cynthia presumed, sighing heavily.

“You gotta stop listening to the news, honey.” Thorgy cautioned her, holding her hands now.

“I know.” Cynthia groaned looking back to Thorgy. “But I just always worry that they could be in some sort of trouble and I don’t know about it and I miss the chance to help them.”

“Trust me, Cynthia. If that day does come, you’ll know.”

*Boston* Peninsula Apartments 5:30PM

“I’m so bored Brian.”

“Me too, Brian.”

Brian McCook stared out the window of his apartment looking down to the people passing by, free to do whatever they wanted and free to live however they wanted.

His other half, Brian Firkus was seated on the couch, flicking through the gallery on his phone and stopping occasionally at images of his guitar.

“House arrest is the worst.” Brian Mc sighed with frustration, tapping lightly on the window.

“Well,” Brian F started, “that’s what you get for breaking the law.”

Brian F was fully aware of his friend’s house arrest punishment. Yet the crime was still unknown to him. When asked, Brian Mc would only say how he actually deserved what he got. He had once said it wasn’t an extravagant sort of crime like murder or whatever. ‘Cause what crime you commit…isn’t always a shoot up.

“How am I supposed to find a job now if I can’t leave this place?” Brian Mc whined. “I’m definitely not getting money before the rent is due. I guess I’m gonna be homeless soon.” He paused to sigh heavily. “Why is my life so full of problems?”

“You won’t be homeless because you’ll be living here with me while you search for a mother fucking job and new home.” Brian F informed his friend like he did every time this topic came up. “Or you can happily stay with me if you enjoy it AND if you bring in some cash.”

Brian Mc turned his attention away from the window, groaning loudly to exaggerate his frustration. “But don’t you think this city is so boring? I hate this fucking place. It’s full of brainwashed clowns and dead but fully functioning families.”

“I guess it is. I’m sorry, honey, but it’s unfortunately the world we live in today.” Brian F replied, sitting down on the white sofa.

“What happened to the good old days? You know? Gay night clubs. Pride. Just being publicly gay and proud?”

“It’s unfortunately the world we live in today.” Brian F repeated before sighing and kicking his feet up on the furniture. “I suppose you could still be openly and publicly gay but think about the press all those gays out there are getting right now. They might as well go out and straight up ask someone to pop a cap in their asses ‘cause that’s where they’re headed anyway.”

“Yeah but remember; there are some fierce bad ass mother fucking gays out there.” Brian Mc added before his eyes widened and he started waving his hand at his friend. “Ooh! Ooh! Remember that duo we read about in the paper? The two Puerto Rican Drag Queens!”

“I do.”

“I bet we could do something like that. Going out and taking back our rights and shooting up bars full of homophobes and just travelling all over the country spreading the word!”

“That’s a terrible idea.” Brian F replied lifting the needle from the record. “You’re under house arrest and the press will find that out and expose you. A gay criminal traveling across the country with intentions of killing people would make great headlines for the press.”

“I know! But fuck all that! If the Puerto Rican kids can do it, so can we.”

“Well, firstly, those Puerto Rican’s are also Drag Queens. Not just normal re-closeted gays like you and I. They’re both hot as fuck and know what they’re doing. And, secondly, I’m gonna be honest with you.” Brian F started, leaning up on the couch and turning to face his friend. “You and I are idiots. It’s no lie. We are the biggest goof balls going and think about it. Comic relief characters usually get killed off in the movies pretty fast. Like Dobbie from Harry Potter.”

“But that’s just a dumb fake ass movie. I’m pretty sure we could make a statement. Not necessarily by causing mayhem at some bar but through survival. Brian, we could be legends.” Brian Mc pleaded. “I know we’re two dumb guys just thirsty for attention but we have so much going for us.”

“Like what?”

“We’re funny as fuck, well not right now, but usually. You’re a really cute guy and well, I guess I’m not too bad either. We’re charismatic as fuck. We’re unique as fuck. And we’re talented as fuck!” Brian Mc exclaimed, counting his points with his fingers. “And I know deep down that you and I have enough nerve to actually challenge those persecuting our people!”

“Yeah, I guess that is accurately us. But they’re gonna track us down and then our asses are grass.” Brian F continued to explain. “Just bury your dream.”

Brian Mc frowned, slouching on the window sill and resuming his observation.

He couldn’t stand to be part of the system; Hiding his true self, seeking some boring job to help pay bills, putting in his contribution to help create a better society for the people. He longed to live the life he wanted for himself. All he hoped for was to travel the country and encourage those people just like him to not be afraid and stand up against those who wronged them.

But he couldn’t. He knew his friend was right. Even something as small as holding a man’s hand in a store would only earn him a picture in the front page of the cities paper. And knowing those shady bitches, they’d have the worst mug shot to go along with the giant print of his name under the picture. How lucky those Puerto Rican’s are with their pictures in the papers – makeup on point. Hair styled to perfection. How it must’ve been to lead the life of a bad ass, killer, revolutionary Drag Queen.

“Wait!” Brian Mc shot up. “Thats it! Who has to know it’s us! We can go in fucking disguise.”

“Thanks for the idea, Robbie Rotten.” Brian F replied sarcastically.

“No! Shut up! Hear me out, OK. We could go as Drag Queens!” He exclaimed smiling madly at the idea. “How would they even know it’s us? Come on. With a little bit of makeup and some padding or whatever we could become America’s most bad ass Queens.”

“That,” Brian F paused to point a finger directly at his friend, “is yet another awful idea. We don’t even have experience in doing drag.”

“Actually I have experience in experimenting with makeup!” Earning a quizzical look from his friend, Brian Mc rolled his eyes and quickly added, “Jodie Foster Contact make inspired tutorial…Anyway I could pass my knowledge on to you.” Brian Mc’s eyes widened again. “I could be your drag mother.”

“OK. Just for the fun of it I will happily let you do my makeup right now. But I’m not following your Bonnie and Clyde dream thing.”

A few hours and struggles later, Brian F was standing in front of the full length mirror, his mouth hanging open to create a wide O. He couldn’t even recognize the man -or in this case woman- looking back at him through the glass.

“Look at huuuuuuh!” Brian Mc exclaimed creeping up behind his good friend. “She’s got the face of a Barbie doll, the body of Beyonce and the attitude of a mother fucking Drag Queen.”

“I look…nothing like me. It’s like looking at another person. In fact, what person looks like this? I look like a completely different brand of human. I look like my name should be ‘Trixie’ or something.”

“That could be your drag name! Trixie!”

Brian F turned and pointed a perfectly manicured finger in his friend’s face. “No. We’re not becoming Drag Queens, Brian.”

“I’m gonna do my face now.” Brian Mc informed him, ignoring the last comment.

And after another few hours, the moon was now cascading the sky and Brian Mc basked in its glow as he looked at his own reflection.

“I look like a Goddess. I look like the most desirable creature to have ever walked. I look like a legit woman right now.”

“But, girl, look how much you got on! You’re wearing chapstick and mascara compared to my makeup.”

“I know.” Brian Mc continued to admire himself.

“So you get to look like that and I have to look like this?”

“Yep!”

“Great!” Brian F replied, rolling his eyes.

Brian Mc looked away from himself and to his friend’s reflection. “Yeah but don’t you like yours? Like really really like it?”

“Well, yeah, I guess I do really really like it. My eyes look pretty cool. And my lips kinda look like marshmallows.”

“I like what I’ve done to me so far so I dont wanna ruin it by added to it, you know?”

“I get you. So, what’s your drag name.”

Brian Mc thought about it in silence before quickly spinning around and jumping up and down with excitement. “Ooh! Karen from finance.”

“There’s already a Karen from finance.”

“Fuck!”

“If it helps, I once watched an interview with a French Drag Queen who said the perfect Drag name is one that represents you and your interests.”

“Oh, what was her name?”

“Ben Dover. I guess she really liked reaching over tables for things.” Brian F briefly smirked, letting his humorous side come back, before getting back on topic. “But yeah, choose something to do with interests or something like that.”

“I have so many interests though.”

“Well on the count of three, just shout the first interest that comes to your head and we’ll go from there.” Brian F explained. “OK. 3…2…1 - -”

“I LIKE TO TALK IN RUSSIAN TO MEN BEFORE WE HAVE SEX ‘CAUSE IT RILES THEM UP FASTER.”

Silence…Absolute silence…

“Well?” Brian Mc urged.

“You can’t speak Russian.” His friend replied shaking his head giving his friend a quizzical look.

“Yes I can! It’s easy! And guys really do enjoy it. A little too much to be honest.” Brian Mc explained with excitement, beaming proudly of his hidden talent.

“I don’t believe it.”

“Which part? I speak Russian or it really does wonders for my sex life?”

“Both. I need proof.”

“колбаса.”

  Brian Mc was confused hearing a loud moan emit from his friend’s mouth he collapsed to his knees. “The fuck happened to you?”

  “OK. You’re right!” Brian F replied, standing up again and smoothing down his new outfit, blushing with embarrassment at what had just happened. “You do speak Russian. And it is quite…nice to listen to. How about something to do with that?”

  “What about the most Russian name ever? Like something really hard to pronounce!” Brian Mc suggested. “How about ‘Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova’? Oh my God, I really wish I could hear those brainwashed jerks pronounce that on TV.”

  “I like it, but let’s be honest. Who’s got time to say all of that? Pick something shorter, at least for me to use.”

  “OK. I’m gonna go with...‘Katya’?”

  “’Katya.’” Brian F repeated. “Yeah. ‘Katya’. I like that one.”

  “Katya and Trixie it is! Oh my God, I’m so excited!”

  “What for? We’re still not becoming out laws.”

  Brian Mc practically threw himself at his friend’s feet. “Please, Trixie! I know we can do this. Yeah we may be two goof balls. But we can really do this. Think of all the young gay people out there right now suffering because not enough is being done to help us. Our people are shit on daily all because of one dumb Drag Queen’s actions. It’s not fair and it’s time for someone to take a stand.”

  “But the Puerto Rican’s- -”

  “OK, forget about the Puerto Rican’s. We can do a better job than them. I mean, all they do is go around the country killing people. We can make a more effective statement! Please, Trixie. Please understand.”

  Brian F was silent for a moment. Throughout the duration of Brian Mc’s speech, he noted the hint cracking to his voice. He really did care about his community. “You know, sometimes I do wish times could go back to the way they were. All of this happened because of that one Drag Queen.” He paused. “But why? I just don’t get what would bring a Drag Queen to go out into the street and just shoot down a child. Actually, what would bring anyone to do that?”

  “I don’t know. But, if I ever meet him, it’s not gonna be pretty.” Brian Mc threatened.

  “To be honest, he’s probably long gone. No one ever found out what actually happened to him. And so many Queen’s and gay people have been persecuted since.” Brian F explained.

  “Well, if that is the case he’s lucky. I could just…could just…” Brian Mc couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

  “Let’s not talk about this. I’m gonna take all this stuff off and go home and sleep. I think it’s best you get some rest too.” Brian F hinted, taking one last look at his reflection and admiring the woman standing there.

  “Don’t you wanna watch a movie before you leave?”

  “Nah, we got an early rise tomorrow.” Brian F replied, collecting his things from the coffee table and putting them in his satchel.

  Brian Mc’s painted eyebrows knit together now. “What? Why?”

  “Well, we gotta hit the road tomorrow.” Brian F turned to his friend, the side of his mouth curling up to a smirk. Brian Mc let a grin spread on his face as excitement took him over. “Don’t forget to pack a suitcase. Bring your makeup, whatever girls clothes you got, shit for padding and duck tape. I got us covered for fire arms. They’re kinda shit but they’re for basic home safety. Hopefully we can pick up better weapons later in life. And also- -”

  Brian F couldn’t continue as his friend was up on his feet and tackling him into a hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

  “You best hope I don’t randomly change my mind, bitch.”

  “I’m so scared. But excited at the same time!” Brian Mc exclaimed, tears of joy threatening to spill from his eyes. “Fuck this house arrest gig anyway!”

  “Tomorrow you’ll be free again!” Brian F smiled, pulling away from the other Brian.

  “And we are going to be so revolutionary!”

  The two pulled away and looked to their reflections before Brian F cocked his hip to the side, posing proudly. “Katya and Trixie.”

  “Trixie and Katya. The sound of it sends shivers down my spine. We’re gonna be amazing.” Brian Mc declared as he wrapped his arms around Brian F once more before attempting to climb him like a koala climbing a tree.

[ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse]

Hey for the ask thing, all the questions you're comfortable with answering

oh boy!!! heck yeah fun shit thanks my dude! little did u Kno…… I LOVE oversharing !!! lmao muahahahahaha i’m probably gonna answer all of them thank u for enabling it lmfao

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

yah on Rly Bad days

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like… 3.5? i like the dark but,,, ‘m Scare,,,,,

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Orange Turnip

4. What is your favorite word?

it changes tbh,, hm but i can’t think of any rn!

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i’d be….. a nice oak! thicc and full of secrets

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didn’t lmao reflection what’s that

7. What shirt are you wearing?

i’m wearing the dress i wore to work

8. What do you label yourself as?

annoying or boring lmao but also the Goblin King and that is Good

9. Bright room or dark room?

i still don’t know if this is referring to like paint shade or like the amount of light it gets or like if i sleep in a bright room or dark room so like??? *shrug emoji*

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

i was?? drawing i think

12. Who told you they loved you last?

i think it was @wrenn-frug​ 💕💖 lov u fren!

13. Your worst enemy?

dunno man probably myself but that sounds cliche so like??? the sun bc it always burns me

14. What is your current desktop picture?

a screenshot from song of the sea!!! lOVE that movie!!!! i’d post it but like?? i don’t think i have it saved anymore or if i do i don’t feel like looking but it’s that one scene where they’re walking thru the pretty field towards the trees and there’s foxes in the corner and she’s playing the shell it’s so pretty,,,,,

15. Do you like someone?

uh yah my cat

16. The last song you listened to?

Young God - Halseygood song lov it,,,,

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

oraNGE TURNIP

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

orange turnip my dude i Hate

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

uh nobody ????

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

my squishy thighs and my fantastic stretch marks (which have taken me YEARS to accept)

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

No

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

????????????? secret???? talent?????? lemme check, ,, , , *reaches into a bag* nope bitch empt y aint got No Talent lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

okay so like this is really dumb and i partially answered this in this ask abt the flushing toilets @ night thing but like to elaborate and make it even more dumb not only am i afraid to flush toilets @ night bc it’s just rly creepy and loud to me (esp if i’ve been asleep) but like,, , sort of in the same vein of fear is that when i was little my older sister told me that there was a ghost in the toilet and if i don’t flush it’ll get me and like i kno it’s not tru but like,,,,,, Sometimes,,,,,, (i must clarify i’m not scared of toilets themselves but like flushing freaks me out sometimes like @ night or if i don’t flush fast enough lmao don’t look @ me i’m a mess)

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Excuse? is this like that i can ONLY eat this sandwich or is it that this is the only sandwich i can ever eat or like i can only ever have one last sandwich bc honestly i’m Not Okay with any of those scenarios no matter how many ingredients i get for the initial creation

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Dream daddy dating simulator lmao uh?? also probably more food for archie bc he is Expensive

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Ireland probably. always wanted to see ireland

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

“Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out” like???? no???? if u don’t drink alcohol why would u want a lifetime supply??? unless i could like…. sell it??? whats the Most Expensive kind i’ll just get an unending supply of heavenly Expensive Alcohol to sell for incredibly inflated prices to the rich bc it’s From Heaven and give the money to the poor bc like,,, why not

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

bitches gotta keep they damn opinions to themselves if they can’t respect somebody’s life based on factors they can’t help (race, religion, orientation, gender etc) also no money like We Don’t Need It i’m so tired of Needing money

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck bc u can use it in So Many situations

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

o shit probably the twenty dollar metallic watercolors i got bc shit son??? actually probably like my laptop or smth idk

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

my childhood thx

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

this is.. not a questionalthough it is a wonderful scenario

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

none of them bc if the celestial gates of the beyond is real then all the people i’d want to bring back are probably in a Better Place or something and why would i want to drag them to Hell?

34. What was your last dream about?

Cannot remember to save my life altho i kno it was rly weird and convoluted

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

u did not put anything Here so i will Ignore

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Nope

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yAH it’s fun!

38. What is the color of your socks?

not wearing any

39. What type of music do you like?

A Lot

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets,,, evening is so nice mm m

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate ayyyy

43. Do you have any scars?

a couple but like for Dumb Reasons

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I’ve graduated hs but i wanna be an animator when i decide which college to go to

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

my brain pls bartender can i have a Healthy One (correction to favorite word #4: fav word currently is deign)

46. Are you reliable?

i would like to think so

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

are you happy?

48. Do you hold grudges?

YAH but only if i’ve been Pushed Too Far which is Pretty Damn Far by most ppls standards

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

none I am Not a God

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i have had So Many???? the most recent one was two times in a row random ppl i barely knew asked me for my netflix account bc they didnt have one and like…. bro what who R U,,,,, (i had literally only talked to the first guy once for ten minutes on fb)

51. Are you a good liar?

is the sky green? don’t think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Very Long but like Only on Bad Weeks

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

None my hair is Magnificent (idk)

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

like birthday cake? never but i lov to bake cakes so like i bake myself cakes all the time

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i am so bad @ accents i can’t even Read in my Head in accents even though i know what the accent Should Sound Like

56. What do you like on your toast?

peanut butter and banan slices

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

working on a picture of a tiger redraw

58. What would be you dream car?

a Bike bc i Do Not Like cars

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i only sing in the shower when nobody is home (which is infrequent bc my mom is Always here) bc i am self conscious around most ppl but like Music,,,,, also when i was little i would pretend that i was standing in the rain all sad like in movies lmao

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yah

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

i follow an astrology blog and i read homestuck i mean,,

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

i??? A maybe bc there are a lot of ways to write it pretty idk but like specifically capital A ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons they’re fire-breathing friends and i love them

64. What do you think about babies?

Gross

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

U Didn’t put anything Here either so like how abt i give u a random fact abt myself that seems good my favorite bird is the lammergeier bc they’re basically irl dragons and they’re so pretty??? love them??? also i hate monkeys and apes esp chimpanzes bc they are scary and too much like humans to me i don’t like them

BOY that took way longer than i thought bc i had to feed my cat halfway thru and everything and like this is a Long Post sorry guys but ayyyyy this was fun thanks ari

[momscafeblog]

*This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission if you click a link and purchase something we have recommended, at no cost to you. For more details, you may view our disclosure policy .

  Our first ever road trip happened when my little baby was just 5 days old…We took a 14 hour drive up the east coast. Not ideal according to our planned schedule but she graced us with her presence a bit earlier than expected, so we NEEDED to hit the road soon after she was born! Talk about being thrown into mommy hood! Our most recent road trip fast forwards seven years later, to this past weekend. Yet again we have taken an impromptu road trip! (I think we have a pattern here)

We had an amazing time for such a short and jam-packed trip! We drove down to spend some quality time with family. We watched an Easter production in church, that our cousin has starred in…a phenomenal depiction of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Praise God!

Check out and follow our Instagram Page, for a few of our Road Trip Highlights from our Instagram story…

Now, I am not going to lie to you. Road tripping with small children can be tough. Between “are we there yet?”, the “I’m Hungry”ies, and the cries from the front seat you may not want to embark on a long family journey at all. BUT I am here to tell you it is doable momma! There are a few essentials that can help you survive hours in a confined, moving vehicle without losing your…

…shirt! 

Here’s how we survived our most recent and EVERY road trip!

First….

What to Pack

Aside from your essentials needed once you reach your destination, there are a few items you will find necessary to have with you and easily accessible in the car! Don’t make the mistake of packing it away and having to exit the interstate just to dig through a suitcase in the trunk. When on a road trip, it is ideal to keep things close. Make things easier on yourself mom. Have a dedicated bag (or two) that you will keep inside the vehicle within arms reach to you or any other adult passenger who can assist.

The contents of your travel bag/organizer depend on the age of your child(ren)…however some are commonly necessary for ALL ages, while other items can fall within the same ‘categories’ stated below. You should have the following:

Travel First Aid Kit: This one is fairly easy. Target has small first aid kits in the travel section, that can even fit in your purse. Kids come with scrapes and boo boo’s, unpredictable fevers, coughs & runny noises…anything can happen so it’s better to be prepared. While I’m in that same section mommies, I usually grab a travel sized motrin (for myself in case-I deal with migraines)…head over to the pharmacy side and a smaller children’s tylenol/motrin just to have on hand. Kids can be unpredictable. If this is a longer trip…just in case a cold or fever decides to emerge out of nowhere, I bring with me cold/flu meds from home or pick one up, so I am not frantically looking for something in an unfamiliar area (and probably costs 3x more than normal price) if we need it!

Food/Snacks: Before a road trip I stock up on our travel food. I personally prefer, now that my daughter is 7, INDIVIDUAL prepackaged snacks, tiny water bottles, and juice boxes/pouches. At home I will usually make sandwiches the night before travel (without mayo if I fear keeping them cool will be a problem) This is perfect! She can open her individual bag of chips, goldfish etc…and enjoy a sandwich all by herself. Also organic lunch/snack boxes do the trick as well! This is an economical approach to meals & we didn’t lose time by stopping every 10 minutes for a snack. Car rides tend to get “snacky” very fast.

If your baby is primarily feeding on breast milk or formula, prep yourself by storing your frozen breast milk/milk in a cooler or thermal regulated/insulated bag…plenty of ice packs to keep it fresh! To heat the milk, there are several travel options on amazon like this one:

If that is unavailable to you momma, no worries. Sometimes you just gotta old school it and be resourceful! Warm your baby’s milk when you come to the next rest stop. Ask for, or purchase a cup of hot water…fill it about half way (as not to overflow it), place your baby’s bottle inside the cup of water and bring it to temperature. Mom hack! Trust me, this was the trick on our very first road trip….

Potty Breaks

Traveling with children WILL require potty breaks but may require them OFTEN. Tiny bladders can’t hold it…

Again, depending on the age of your child, please modify your approach to suit your child’s needs.

Before my daughter was potty trained and completely in diapers, it wasn’t terrible to change her diaper in the car at the next convenient rest area. Our travel changing station was perfect to use right in the back seat…AND perfect to use in our hotel or home, where we resided as guests on our trip.   

If you’re fancy, you can purchase a back seat organizer. This one comes with the changing pad.  This makes everything easy to get to…not to mention prevents your car from looking like a hot mess!

They even have a few compatible for the front and back seat!

  If your child is in the potty training stage, there are different types of portable potties like this one by Summer Infant, available on amazon. How it works is fairly simple…child goes potty…and the contents are completely disposable. Trust me mommies you will appreciate this one! Sometimes there isn’t another rest stop for MILES around. Avoid having any “whoopsies” in the car…not to mention, it keeps you out of the germy public restrooms!

Hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes or the old school soap and water (bottle) to wash your hands when there’s nothing else around, and you’re good to get back on the road!  

Activities

So now comes the hard part…keeping the little one occupied and keeping your sanity!

Bring every travel friendly activity imaginable. Pack some toys…perhaps a few of your child’s favorites, travel activity packs…Target’s dollar section is good for that!

For the toddlers and school age children, it’s a good idea to have a Travel Tray. This tray will allow your child to easily color, place their snacks, race their cars…stores everything they need within their little reach, while mommy keeps her hands at 10 and 2.

  If you can, have plenty of audio books, Disney soundtracks, and cute road trip games on hand!

Lastly…

Don’t pressure yourself mommy. If everyone is frustrated and needs a break…STOP. Rest, stretch your legs…get some fresh air. Even research before you go, which areas along your route are kid friendly and good places to stop and visit. Parks, shopping malls…maybe a quick visit to a museum en route. Just getting from the car will do everyone GOOD! Running off some of the little one’s energy isn’t such a bad idea. It may be needed and crucial to your road trip survival!  

Share some of your road trip stories and must haves for a family road trip! Let us know in the comments! Share your #MomStory!

Check out our ‘Hello Spring’ series here, with tips for the new season!

Hey mommies! Mom's Cafe Blog is back. The weather has been great and it is an exciting time of year to go on FAMILY VACATION ! Before you hit the road, check out our new blog post on: How to Road Trip with Kids! #travel #momlife *This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission if you click a link and purchase something we have recommended, at no cost to you.