#but i guess finding the mini 'optimizations' can help with the motivation to DO them

[funkymbtifiction]

~Hello, I would like your opinion on my type.  I’m not sure if I’m a sensor (S) or intuitive (N).

1)I think I might be S because I have a hard time focusing on abstract theoretical subjects for a long time. I learn better when I do or watch something. I cannot learn by just watching people lecture in the class about the theory of something. I also prefer books with colors, pictures and visuals. In practical and lab classes, I got bored if it was crowded and I couldn’t do the thing MYSELF. Watching something being done, while I couldn’t do it myself bored me so I zoned out a lot. I don’t pay attention to learn if I don’t get to do it myself.

2)I’m also wish I had more active close people around me, so we could go out camping, exploring, hiking, trying new dishes, etc.

3)I also don’t like debating or challanging people much. If I guess someone might be wrong, I reseach myself and keep it to myself. I enjoy friendly, peaceful debates, but stay away from the assertive aggressive ones. 

~On the other hand, I think I might be N, when I look at the big picture of my life.

1)I’m not really an action-oriented person. I’m lazy. I have goals and I work towards them, but at my own pace. I’m not really outdoorsy either. I work out (at home for now), but I’m not good at team sports.

2)I have a hard time staying in the present moment and “what is”. I think I’m an Se but around wrong people who don’t like to go out exploring and camping with me. Or I tell myself that being busy with my goals is the reason why I don’t do those things.

However, I think the main reason for that is that I’m not an S type. Because I use idealism and justification instead of direct action.

((Example ; I went to the beach with a family member a while ago. They were ok with sitting in the corner, observing and relaxing. While I was annoyed by the lack of action. I wish we could swim, play games, etc. I wish our vibe was more energetic. This made me think I might be Se.

But then I realized I might be N because I use idealism and justification for my lack of action, instead of dealing with things as they are like an S.

Like in the beach case, I would just enjoy being in the moment and pay attention to the sensory realm instead of “wishing” things were different or ideal so I could do things that are in my head.))

3)I’m goal-oriented. I think about past and future. I’m not workaholic or extreme, but I have a long-term goal and I want to reach it. When it comes to that (professional) goal, I won’t compromise. I “have to” reach it. But the process or in-between strategies might change. I don’t deal with changes related to that really well though. I don’t deal with last-minute changes or cancellation really well. 

4)However, I have to constantly update my motivation in order to stay in touch with my long-term goals.

For that, I have to a)set short-term goals or mini-goals to reach them and feel proud of myself b)change the things around me or buy myself gifts in order to keep myself motivated and in-touch with my long-term goal.

If I don’t do that, I might get bored and lose my motivation and get distracted by other things without paying attention to the long-term implications of it.

5)But in general, even the thought of not reaching my goals and having a mundane life scares me. So I try to think about my actions and try not to do things that might alienate me from my goals (I don’t date anyone because I want to leave where I live in future. I hardly ever make friends because I’m afraid of inter-personal drama and don’t know how to handle it. I try not to learn things that will not be useful in future.)

6)I brainstorm things in my head. I would like to have deep conversations with the right people. However, I value evidence/research-based and tangible results more and find them to be more convincing.

~I’m stuck between IXTP vs INXJ types. mainly INTP and INFJ.

IXTP because I relate to Fe as an inferior function. I’m attentive. I try not to exclude or hurt feelings of other people. I try to watch my actions and words in order not to cause drama. I can’t handle inter-personal issues and dramas really well. Under depression and during rough times, I focus on internal negative/repressed emotions and things that went wrong too much and get hopeless about future.

INXJ (Ni) because of being goal-oriented and not liking last minute changes or unpredictability and being kept in the dark. I’m also guilty of negative fortune telling (Thinking I know what will happen, how someone will react, etc in a negative way).

I enjoy it when I have a supervisor who gives me enough freedom to express my creativity and ideas in projects. However, I’m not good at decision making and they might have to help me choose between several creative ideas for a project.

The overall atmosphere of a place, my supervisors/bosses and how friendly and positive my coworkers are, can have a great impact on my performance. Feeling excluded, disliked, betrayed; underappreciated or forgotten might negatively affect my mood and performance.

I’m reserved and introverted in general. But the way I am depends on the people around me and how they treat/include me.

If a person looks serious, I become anxious and act serious as well. If the person’s energetic, playful and outgoing and smiles, I act more energetic and smile back.

I love learning new stuffs or trying new things. I don’t like too much detail though. I “try” to learn different things that are or might be useful one day. When I get curious about something, I keep thinking about it and google it. I enjoy the process of researching.

I also wish I could travel the world and learn more about different cultures, their dishes, the people, etc. I often research about these things at home (as a hobby). 

I think I have a bit of Fi in me too. I relate to movie characters that are in some ways similar to me and I empathize more with characters or people who have gone through and faced obstacles similar to mine.

I can also absorb other people’s feelings and relate it to myself. For example, A person talks to me about their work place toxicity. I start fearing my own work place, my future and the possibility of similar things happening to me.

I’m neither good at nor interested in drama, mind games, favoritism, toxicity or interpersonal issues. I myself act reserved and try to keep quiet when I face one because I sometimes don’t know what the correct reaction would be. Or If I’m truly right or not.

What could my type be? Am I one of the four types I mentioned? Should I answer more questions?

--------------------------------

9w1 so/sp ISFP.

All the descriptions you give for N are actually Se with a little bit of Ni. ISTPs are not sensitive or considerate of other people’s feelings, but a Fi-dom would be, especially a 9 who doesn’t want to deal with emotional upsets or drama. Being a dreamer can be social 9 related, but you are still actively bored unless you can be hands-on. Desiring to reach goals but finding yourself unproductive in pursuing them and not knowing how to organize your time to reach them are inferior Te issues. Your low Ni turns pessimistic much of the time (unlike the optimism of high Ni and the fixation on one thing), and you will abandon your goal to do something else in the present moment with Se. You’re mirroring other people (9 absorption of others’ moods). Not dealing with change well can be related to Fi-dom -- once inferior Te decides on a course of action (which is hard for it) and a plan, it doesn’t like to have to revise things.

[dyketectivecomics]

Randy’s Ultimate Birds of Prey Review (first thoughts)

I want to preface this by waxing just a little poetic here, because I can. The true spirit of the Birds of Prey has been and will always be in the way women love and support one another. As friends, as teammates, as sisters-in-arms against whatever the world throws at them. And while not every comic, not every story, will be Completely Outstanding or without fault, I can say with certainty that when given to competent writers and loving artists, to diligent crews and hard-working casts, that that spirit is seen and felt just as strongly.

First we’ll be tackling the comics, separating them mostly by run (with Dixon to start, the Simone’s turn at the line to follow, then 2010, New52, and BatBoP). Then we’ll discuss the two separate forays into live-action that the Birds have taken (BoP02, and BoP20 respectively) And to finish it all off, we’ll take a prospective look at HQatBoP, given that (at the time of this posting) it has only one issue, and more than enough untapped potential. To keep myself focused and keep things hopefully brief, we’ll be discussing each run’s Line-Up, Writing and Art, and finally overall Plot/Character Development. I will also try to keep things as spoiler-free as possible, but it’s also been a decade since some of this stuff was written, so... YKNOW Spoiler Caution Advised.

Without Further Ado, Let’s Fly~ 

The Dixon Era:

The Line-Up 

As the Definitive Starting Point for the team, this era is marked most notably by the sole members, Dinah and Babs, and their numerous memorable one-off adventures. They are joined on a few occasions by other heroes. Or, while working separately from one another, will team-up with others as they lead their individual lives. The core of this budding ‘team’ remains as a duo for the majority of this part of the run, however.

The Talent

Dixon and his writing is not without faults, of course, as any given international mission could fall prey to stereotypical archetypes and pitfalls. For the most part, Dixon’s writing remains among some of the most entertaining I’ve found, comparatively speaking. With a knack for wisecracks and poignant thoughts alike, I find myself looking forward to more of his work, with a great sense of cautious optimism.

The art, in this same vein, can be also be hit or miss at times, just as much as exploitative panels/questionable dialogue make their inevitable way in. I cannot recall anything outright offensive or demeaning, but one should approach with measured expectations.

The Development

Easy to follow along, but with plenty of twists and turns to keep me interested in the direction any given mystery would lead our duo. The banter and camaraderie that’s slowly and surely built up between Dinah and Babs had me falling ever more in love with their dynamic and with their bond as they grew to not only work well with one another, but into becoming fast friends. The focus is in the development of these characters and this new season of life they find themselves in, rather than grand-sweeping, or long-running plots. But with fun enough jaunts and adventures regardless, I already find myself looking forward to rereading these issues in the near-future.

It is important to note, that in the interim between these two general eras i have marked, that there are numerous Other Writers that took their own cracks during this particular run of BoP, both preceding and superseding Simone. As she and Dixon have the longer-running pens, and that they have the most notable influence in the fandom consciousness, is the biggest reason for why i’ve named these sections as such.

Simone’s Turn:

The Line-Up

A Turning Point for not only the run itself, but the group dynamics as well! This era is marked by the permanent reintroduction of Huntress onto the team, Lady Blackhawk being another quick to follow, and the team’s subsequent rotating cast expanding to many heroines beyond as well. Simone’s writing doesn’t miss a beat in the banter, however, and takes the team from Dixon just as steadily as runners pass a baton.

The Talent

Again, the writing itself usually never misses a beat, and the art, as memory serves, carried very well alongside it, something most usually without offense and downright enjoyable in some places to pour over. While there were certainly some moments and dialogue that gave me pause, for the greater majority of this run, one can expect entertainment, nonetheless.

The Development

While the preceding run had focused moreso on interesting stories and one-off adventures, here is where longer-running plot threads began to take root, and more complicated games and chases between heroes and villains were given room to unfold. Most notably as the Calculator takes more and evermore dramatic actions against Oracle and her team. Not without its fair share of delightful rough patches as team dynamics shift right alongside the cast rotations, anyone who appreciates a long game and character development is likely to come away satisfied from this run, even as it draws to brief close... Which brings me to...

BoP (2010):

The Line-Up

Picking up not too long where the previous run ended, Oracle brings her team (Black Canary, Huntress and Lady Blackhawk) back together with a couple new faces (Hawk and Dove) to wrap up a few loose threads, and, hopefully, begin something anew.

The Talent

As before, Simone doesn’t usually miss a beat with this team, even while taking account the changed dynamics and time apart the group has spent. Dialogue and plot threading is just as tight as ever.

Unfortunate, however, is the fact that the art in the run ended up with more misses than hits for me, mostly in the first half of the run and most often in the sense of objectifying and oversexualizing our heroines in fashion that is disappointing, but unsurprising coming from the comics industry.

The Development

The plot takes a bit of a beating, rushed in some places as Flashpoint and the New 52 reboot loom heavily on the horizon, but Simone and the team superseding her take those changes in stride, delivering a story that may or may not satisfy everyone’s tastes. For those who were left wanting from the way the first run ended, it’s important to note that the threat of the Bird’s longer running nemesis, the Calculator, comes to a much more satisfying and final end after his temporary defeat in the Oracle: The Cure miniseries. While not entirely necessary, I would highly suggest reading that mini, and the issues of Batgirl (2009) which include Babs, to get a clearer sense of the arc that Barbara and this villain have taken. While this run is not a perfect ending, per se, it provides an ending nonetheless, and an entertaining adventure to cap off the series that once again perfectly encapsulates what camaraderie and sisterhood is all about for this team.

The New 52:

The Line-Up

With a fresh new universe and timeline to make one’s mark in, this team is kick-started alone by Dinah Drake-Lance, though Barbara (as Batgirl) is later to follow. For the first part of the run, Dinah is joined by a new character Starling, (whose mannerism and role on the team most closely resemble of fusion of previous members Huntress and Blackhawk) Katana, and Poison Ivy (acting a role of anti-villain, mostly). For the latter half of the run, following Ivy’s betrayal and Katana’s desire to strike out on her own, the team is joined by Condor (a meta whose backstory and powers are explored as the series progresses) and Strix (a former Talon who brings extra and endearing muscle to the team).

With many members carrying secrets or ulterior motives, tension often runs high among these birds. Those who enjoy drama or a little more disarray in a team, may find themelves entertained by the turns these ladies will take on one another. Most certainly a break from the norm previously established, and from those to come.

The Talent

The writing for this run is filled with many quick quips and snaps, each character developing a distinct voice and personality. While the New 52 is often a point of contention among DC fans, anyone wishing for something fresh or different from pre52 characterization of these characters may find themselves delightfully surprised.

Art-wise expect similar fare as the 2010 run, as some costume design choices are questionable at best. The action itself is entertaining, though, with some interesting opportunity for unique visuals as more metahumans and meta dangers are brought along.

The Development

What sets this run apart from the others, certainly has to do in the dynamics that are laid out over the series. Every character has their own motives or secrets to hide, creating a delicious tension that helps keep a reader guessing just how this team will inevitably break apart. Story arcs themselves are usually pretty well-paced, though with such heavy focus usually on whatever threat immediately faces the team, moments of character development and interpersonal development can be lackluster at best, nonexistent at worst. And while that was certainly frustrating, I personally found myself intrigued enough by any given on-going plot to nearly forgive it... Nearly.

BatBoP:

The Line-Up

In the Wake of Rebirth, the Birds find themselves once again starting anew, with Batgirl (Babs) and Canary (Dinah) forming what each believes to be a brief alliance. With the Huntress crossing their path, eventually the trio recognizes how well they work together, and these three remain once more as the core members for the majority of this run.

They are joined for a brief time by Gus Yale, taking on the Oracle identity to provide technical back-up. Even more brief is a memorable team-up which included Gotham heroine and villainess alike for the Manslaughter story arc.

The Talent

While exposition is often written with a flair of humor, and many interesting one-liners can be found, overall that humor can grow tedious, and the dialogue itself often came across as either very stilted or simply unrealistic. Many characters can fall very flat, while others feel like shadows of their pre52 selves. Whether the writers intended to make these characters their own or to emulate previous characterizations, I could care less about, as the pacing and plotting itself leaves such a poor taste in my mouth.

This run’s saving grace, however, is most certainly in the character design and the artwork. Given practical costumes, colorful palettes, and powerful posing, visually it’s a breath of fresh air.

The Development

Quick and simple story-arcs is the name of the game here, but unlike during Dixon’s era, these one-off adventures are all too often infantilizing and condescending towards its audience. The development of this trio’s friendship also feels extremely rushed, the camaraderie and kinship unearned compared to the toil and work put in during previous runs. With a completed long-running story arc set from the beginning issues and brought to a neatly-wrapped conclusion by the end, one can walk away satisfied that a story has been brought to completion. However, with no true middle act in the issues between, this remains one of the weakest of Birds runs for me, as the plot borrows much too heavily from pre52 (what with the return of the Calculator as a main villain), while also neglecting to produce too many original ideas of real note.

BoP02:

The Line-Up

In usual fashion for TV, we mainly follow a trio of gals, this time consisting of Barbara Gordon (as Oracle), Helena Kyle (as the Huntress) and Dinah Lance. Rounding out the supporting cast is Alfred Pennyworth as a confidant to the team, and Detective Jesse Reese, Huntress’ ally within the police. The main antagonist for this series is none other than Harley Quinn, who is introduced first to the audience as Helena’s therapist.

The Talent

It takes a team to pull off any performance art, but that especially rings true for television. While the writing and acting can be a tad hammy in many places, even by early 00s standards, there’s a clear level of love and care taken by the actors and crew alike. Outfits and costuming is fairly typical, fashionable for the time, even, and the same can be said for the soundtrack as well (which rings with an air of nostalgia, as someone who listened to plenty of pop/rock tracks of this time period well throughout my child & teenagehood).

I’ve often described this series to friends and fans alike as a ‘so bad, but good’ kind of show. Which isn’t entirely fair. Rather, it’s a guilty pleasure, because it’s perfectly imperfect. It’s got the heart and the soul and a lot of vision that falls just a little short at times. But it can be a pleasure to view all the same. I do not begrudge anyone who chooses not to view it, however, as in many ways it feels like a spiritual predecessor to what would eventually become the CW/Arrowverse. And we’ll dive more into that just below...

The Development

In an odd enough twist for the time, as by 2002 Huntress (Bertinelli, that is) had only joined Canary on a few missions in the comics, the show runners have replaced Bertinelli with the other known Huntress, Helena Wayne (or known here, rather, as Helena Kyle). Made stranger still, is forgoing the use of Dinah’s character as Black Canary and replacing her Canary Cry with psychic meta-abilities instead, simultaneously transforming her into a runaway and aging her down to her mid-teens, further differentiating her from her fellow cast members (as Kyle is portrayed as early 20s, & Babs’ as early 30s). This dynamic is a very dramatic flip compared to the comics, but (but!) not entirely an unwelcome one, for me. 

While giving Babs the chance to act more as a leader and den-mother alike to these two budding heroes. Kyle, in similar fashion, taking on an elder-sibling/mentor role to Dinah’s naiveté. Dina’s portrayal of Babs has certainly set a standard for those who may follow, as she captures so much of the dual love and sternness the character carries. Kyle’s character takes a simple, but satisfying arc as she learns to trust those around her, despite her past and what she believes to be her nature. And finally Dinah just starting to come into her powers and her identity, one could see further development for her character, had the series progressed beyond the first, and only season.

Alas, with one lone season, we shall never know what may have been. I can say, however, that the slow build up of Harley as the main threat facing New Gotham, and their swift, but hard-won defeat of her, was wonderfully satisfying. And with enough of one-off and self-contained episodes in between, it makes for an interesting, but quick and relatively painless binge.

BoP20:

The Line-Up

In another case of Adaptation Deviation, taking center stage for this story is none other than the Clown Princess of Crime, Harley Quinn. In this tale that our protagonist narrates, we’ve also got BoP staples Dinah and Helena (Bertinelli this time) returning, and former guest ‘Birds’ Renee and Cassandra to round out the protagonist team. The Black Mask, Roman Sionis, and serial killer, Victor Zsasz, serve as the primary villains.

The Talent

WHERE to even BEGIN. If television takes a team, movies take an entire goddamn VILLAGE to pull off, and to pull of WELL. For all intents and purposes, BoP(atFEoOHQ) is an absolutely goddamn DELIGHT for the senses. The sheer amount of COLOR, choreography and every moment acting as villains and heroes alike are at the TOP of their game. The soundtrack is something that I’ve been listening to for well over two months at this time of posting (& likely will continue to listen to well after). There’s almost too much to be said and has already been said about the love and labor that clearly went into this film, but suffice it to say, it’s something I’ve come to appreciate even more every time I’ve had the chance to rewatch it. On viewability alone, even with a strong, and well earned R-rating, one can’t help but simply sit back and enjoy it for the ride that it is.

The Development

The plot, despite even Harley’s sometimes roundabout storytelling skills, is simple enough to follow. And with character introductions and motivations padding out the rest of the runtime, and leading up to a predictable but nevertheless astounding 3rd act team-up, fans new and old should walk away satisfied. That being said, with Harley as our protagonist and her character arc taking precedent over the others because of that, this movie does come across as more of a Harley Quinn Show with a Side of Birds. Another point of contention is the absence of Barbara Gordon, either as Batgirl OR Oracle, and the drastic change of Cassandra’s characterization. While these two points are definite drawbacks that sadden me, the overall production is damn-well near enough to make me forget. This movie, while nowhere near a Complete adaptation of any particular Birds comic, is nonetheless a fun romp, and captures enough of the essence of what Birds should be about; women uplifting other women.

HQatBoP:

The Line-Up

To tie in with the movie, this line-up follows the same five female protagonists, this time as Harley finds danger following her as she makes a prodigal return to Gotham City. With only one issue out, and hints of the Gotham mob and Joker alike to be facing our team, only time will tell just how many heroes or villains may be involved in this miniseries.

The Talent

With Harley Quinn alums, Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti spearheading this story, and with the blessing of the DC Black label, fans who enjoy the raunchier or more violent side of comics, and who enjoyed the Harley series, will find a fantastic start in return to form in this comic. It might be a little too soon to tell, but from what I have read from this duo already, I have nothing but hight hopes for how they’ll flesh out this story.

The Development

An interesting start and lots of exposition to ease new readers into place, this comic seems to be a good bridge for those unfamiliar with any previous Harley work (though they do sample heavily from their old runs), or those who may be coming solely with knowledge from the movie. Once again, Harley will be taking the center stage in this series, but already with Helena and Cassandra joining her fight, and Renee making an antagonist entrance at the end of the first issue, this series feels full of promise. Certainly not quite like any Birds series that’s been published before, but hopefully the herald of something more to come.

---

While I firmly believe each comic run has their merits, I would be remiss not to recommend the original run (and the 2010 follow-up) above all else. It is the definitive run, after all, and with over 100 issues to pour over, plus one-offs and miniseries from the same era abounding, anyone looking to get into Birds will find themselves with plenty to parse through, and plenty to enjoy, when reading.

While I certainly have more to say about these runs and even more so about these characters, as I close out my reading for the first time on Birds of Prey, I can only hope for more adventures for this team in the future.

[stories-you-wont-hear]

– four seasons. | storm

hello friends! this is the second installment of the four seasons mini-series ft. billy russo. i really like y/n and maria’s friendship and tbh they end up getting more time together than the reader and billy but IT’S FINE BY ME! i love reading your comments on this, esp bc it’s pre-anvil billy who is a precious sweetheart.

pls enjoy, and as always, leave lots of love! xoxo mira

tag list: shameless-pope  bellastellaluna  the-scarletsandwich @its-my-little-dumpster-fire

“Mom!” Lisa bellowed, nearly knocking you out as she ran into the kitchen. “Daughter?” Maria called, not moving from her position as her child stood with her hands on her hips staring her down. “Frank keeps taking my headphones! Tell him to stop,” Lisa said, her anger apparent in her tone. “Frank. Stop.” Maria deadpanned, taking a sip from her cup of coffee. You couldn’t help but snort in response to Maria, and Lisa shot you a look of pure hatred for it. 

“Mom!” Lisa cried again, this time dropping her arms as she whined. Maria sighed as she shook her head, “Look, you two need to learn how to sort this out amongst yourselves. I’m not a mediator.” “But you’re our mom,” Lisa exasperated. “And I certainly don’t get paid enough for it,” Maria shot back, her hands cupping her cup of coffee. You cut in, wanting to keep Maria’s stress to a minimum. It had been two months since Frank, and Billy, had left and Maria had been handling the kids on her own.

It was nothing she hadn’t done before, but you knew it was never easy. “Lisa,” you called, “Leave your poor mom alone. I’ll take you shopping on Black Friday for new ones.” Maria rolled her eyes behind Lisa, but the kid was satisfied. She left the kitchen with her mood having taken a complete 180. “I birthed them, feed them, keep a roof over their heads, but alas! It’s Aunt Y/N this, Aunt Y/N that,” Maria sighed. You laughed, your hands cupping your own cup of coffee as you looked over at your friend. “Hey, Black Friday shopping is pretty much the equivalent of going into a warzone,” you called back. Maria held a hand up in surrender, “Touche. I’d never do it.” You nodded, giving her a pointed look, “Yeah, you just shop on Monday from your computer like a coward.”

“Better a wise coward than a foolish knight,” Maria said pointedly, moving to wash out her empty cup in the sink. You stood to wash your own empty cup, handing it to Maria’s outstretched hand but made no movement back towards your seat. “So,” you said slowly, not wanting to let your true intentions out so quickly, “Any word lately from Frank?”

“Why do you ask?” Maria asked, her own voice mirroring your tone. An eyebrow raised, she glanced at you suspiciously. “Just wondering,” you said a little too quickly, “The holidays are coming up, I’m sure they’re missing home.” 

“They’re?” Maria repeated, now fully looking at you. You felt yourself inched slowly away from Maria, who was now leaning against the counter, arms crossed over her chest as she looked at you through a narrowed gaze. “Frank and… Billy and the rest of the good people who risk their lives for the sak-” you blurt before Maria cut in. “You bitch!” she cried, her eyes wide as she caught Billy’s name. “Language!” Frank Jr.’s voice shouted from down the hall upon catching his mother’s curse. 

Maria rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to you, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” You shrugged, playing it off like you didn’t know exactly what she was talking about. “Come on,” Maria said, looking at you expectantly. After a solid minute of silent back and forth, you finally sighed in defeat. “We kissed after the party you guys had over the summer,” you said in a low voice, not wanting Frank Jr. to overhear. “Oh my god,” Maria cried, throwing her hands up, “I know that!” 

You scoffed, knowing Lisa probably spilled the beans the second she saw Billy’s lips brush over your cheek during that Sunday morning breakfast that seemed so long ago. “So then what?” you asked. “That’s what I’m trying to find out, Y/N!” Maria said. 

“There’s really nothing to say other than that,” you explained, “It’s not like he asked me to see him off or write him long, sappy letters.” “Oh, but you should,” Maria said, suddenly moving to place her hands on your shoulders, “You so should.” 

“Geez Maria,” you said as you placed your hands on top of hers, “I so should not be getting into whatever this is. It’s so hard for you and Frank and you guys are so… so solid! Me and Billy? We’re just a few weeks of kisses and back and forth flirting.” 

“Y/N,” Maria started, her voice so firm that you probably would have agreed to almost anything she was about to say, “It’s hard. It’s so hard. It’s so unbelievably difficult. But it’s so worth it. Billy is worth it.” She turned squeezed your shoulders before sliding her hands from under your grip, the softness in her eyes so different from the firmness of her tone but that was Maria for you. 

“Here,” she said, moving away from you to rummage through a kitchen drawer, “We’re going to send Frank a care package, and we always send Billy stuff, too. You should write him a letter.” “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” you said nervously, placing one hand on the kitchen counter to steady yourself.

“I promise I won’t read it,” Maria said, holding up the sheets of notebook paper and pen she had managed to find. You took what she was handing out to you, albeit hesitantly. She also found an envelope and put it on the counter next to you, giving you another reassuring look, “Look, Y/N. I can’t tell you what to do. I’m not even going to lie and say that I don’t want this to happen, you and Billy. Because I do. But, I saw the way you were glowing when the two of you were together. You were happy. You deserve to give this a shot, you deserve a chance at happiness.” 

“You should be a motivational speaker, Maria,” you muttered, mustering up a smile to offer in return for her pep talk. “Yeah,” she replied sarcastically, “Once the kids turn 18 and I can quit my day job.” You giggled as Maria slipped past you, giving you privacy to ‘shoot your shot’ according to her.

Dear Billy,

I’m really only writing this because Maria is making me. I mean- I wanted to write to you, but I wasn’t really sure if that’s something you would have liked me to do. I tend to hold myself back a lot because of that. 

But here I am, shooting my shot through the lost art of letter writing as Maria likes to say, the first part at least. By the way, she knows about our… practicing. Lisa is a snitch. Totally not to be trusted.

Things here are pretty normal. Normal as can be. Work is work, and I spend a lot of time with Maria and the kids. I really should get friends my own age. Ha. Well, Maria isn’t that much older than me, but don’t tell her I said that. We’re both 29 until we die. 

The holidays are coming up, Halloween was fun with the kids. Frank Jr. wanted to be a soldier, but he didn’t because Lisa said it wasn’t just a costume, it was something bigger. She’s definitely Frank’s kid. They ended up going as Ghostbusters. And getting their candy confiscated for fighting on November 1st. Yep, definitely Frank’s kids.

I’m probably going to spend Thanksgiving with them. With Frank gone, Maria needs me. The kids like having me here, or maybe it’s just that I make a decent pecan pie. Wish you were here. And Frank too. 

I’ve never really had someone to miss, but I do miss you. Is that cool with you?

Love, Best,

Y/N

And that was that. You folded up the single sheet of paper neatly and slid it into the envelope, sifting through the kitchen drawer Maria had gone through before to find some tape to seal the envelope shut. “Don’t trust my mom?” Lisa called out, drawing your attention to her figure standing by the door. She looked so much like her mom, arms crossed over her chest, but that smile was all Frank. “I honestly don’t trust anyone in House Castle with anything other than my life,” you replied back matter-of-factly. “Good call,” Lisa said with a knowing smile, walking over to lean against the counter near you as you carefully wrote out Billy’s name on the envelope. “I think he’ll write back,” Lisa said simply. You were taken aback by her tone, you blamed the black and whiteness in her perspective on her age. It seemed so simple to kids, kiss a guy and bam, you’re together. It wasn’t as simple as that. Was it?

“You think?” you murmured, your fingers running over the corners of the envelope, still doubting whether you were doing the right thing. “He’d be stupid not to,” Lisa replied, giving you a shrug as if that were that. This time, you weren’t bothered by the plainness of her tone, but instead felt a surge of warmth spreading in your heart, highlighted optimism. “Right,” you repeated with a smile, “He’d be stupid not to.”

Turns out, Billy Russo was not an idiot. He did write back. The letter came, taped up, in the same envelope as one of Frank’s letters. “I didn’t know my husband knew how to write a letter,” Maria had joked, slipping the letter to you after brunch a week after Thanksgiving, “Turns out, Billy was the one who pushed him to it. Something about the lost art of letter writing.” 

You were so giddy, you ended up walking over to a nearby coffee shop. You were too afraid you’d be unable to wait until you got home to open the letter, so ten minutes after parting ways with Maria, you were settled at a corner table in a small coffee shop with a hot mocha and Billy’s letter.

Hey Y/N,

Cool opening. Much chiller than yours, you noted.

I already thought I shot my shot with you, but I guess kissing you wasn’t a clear enough hint that I like you? And Lisa wouldn’t have told if you had bribed her the way I do, but that’s a secret that stays with me. You’ll have to find your own way with Lisa. She’s a smart kid.

I’d say that things are normal here too, but there’s nothing normal about being out here. It’s normal for me, but I don’t think anybody else can understand that. And that’s alright, y’know? 

God, I do miss pie. Make me some when I get back, will you? It’s the food I miss, the food and the beer. And Maria and the kids, of course. And you. Is that weird?

I guess not. Frank misses Maria. I think I miss you like that. So, it’s fine by me if you miss me. If you want to miss me via e-mail so I can miss you even faster, that’s also fine by me. Hear from you soon, yeah?

Billy

He even closed out his letters in a cool way! You mentally cursed yourself for crossing out that damn love you had written, hoping he hadn’t been able to make out your mistake. After you moved on past your embarrassment, you quickly typed in the email address he had written on the bottom of the letter, typing out a quick message to him.

You nearly pressed sent too, but you held back, finger hovering over the send button. 

Hey Billy! Y/N here, as you can probably see as my e-mail address is my first and last name put together. Good point, we should be living in the 21st century and using e-mail. Then again, in the age of texting, e-mail writing is also a lost art of sorts. 

And I know what you mean. I just like knowing that you’re well, as well as you can be. I’d like you to come home in one piece, if that’s not too much to ask.

Also, will you tell me your Lisa taming secret for $1 million? 

You sighed, wondering if the rules of courtship applied to whatever this was with you and Billy. Twenty long mocha-sipping, barista probably thinks you’re crazy minutes later, you finally hit send. You figured he wouldn’t see the e-mail that quickly anyway, and that rules weren’t real and meant nothing. Just as quickly, you checked your sent folder to see if it had in fact really sent and thanks to the blessing of wireless internet, the e-mail had in fact sent. You then began refreshing your e-mail on your phone, sitting with the strange anticipation of a reply. Another five minutes of that, and you finally headed out to your car after no reply came, dialing Maria’s number at the same time.

“Of course there’s no reply,” Maria’s voice called out over the phone, “You just sent the damn e-mail, Y/N!” “I know,” you whined back, signalling your turn before slumping in the driver’s seat of your car. “Now I want to know what he wrote,” Maria commented offhandedly, and you imagined her leaning over her kitchen counter to stare out the window as she talked you down over the phone. “Over my dead body,” you muttered, to which Maria laughed out loud. “Just hold on, Y/N,” she assured you, “Just hold on.”

Maria was right. Well, she usually almost always was. Billy’s reply came a few days later, and you had practically jumped out of your office chair while at work when the notification popped up.

I’ll try and come back in one piece, but no guarantees. Also, when was e-mail writing ever an art? I thought it was always something painful adults had to do. Even thinking of the word “regards” makes me sick.

Tell me more about how things are for you, work, friends, anything. I want to know more about you.

And I would not sell you my Lisa taming secret for all the money in the world.

You bit back a smile, hoping that no one around the office was looking at you grinning at your phone screen like an idiot. Sure enough, no one was and you reread Billy’s e-mail several times over. And you couldn’t help but smile every time you did.

Over the next weeks, you and Billy e-mailed back and forth with an occasional Skype call in between. The first time you saw him on a screen was when Maria was Skyping with Frank and Billy popped in the background while you were saying hi to Frank. 

“Hey stranger!” Billy called, the image of him grainy but sure enough, it was him. “Hey!” you called, your voice immediately brighter than it was a second ago and you caught Maria and Frank giving each other a look. “We can go, y’know, if the two of you want some privacy?” Frank teased as Maria snickered. “Real mature,” you muttered, playfully smacking Maria’s shoulder.

The next time Billy e-mailed you, he gave his Skype ID so that the two of you could talk sans Castle intrusion. 

“Hey you!” you called, seated on the floor of your living room as your laptop rested on your coffee table. You had a cozy sweater on, keeping you warm in the midst of the rainstorm outside. It had been pouring for days nonstop, and while it meant no snow to shovel, it was hardly weather to match the cheery-ness of the holiday season.

“Hey sweetheart,” Billy replied, his lips moving in the video a second before the sound processed but you didn’t care. This was the next best thing to having him there. “How was that office Christmas party?” Billy asked, referencing an awful Secret Santa you had been to just two days earlier. “I got a nice set of hot pink oven mitts from this lady in accounting,” you bragged, your eyes wide in exaggeration. Billy laughed and the sound was truly music to your ears, “Hold onto those for me. They sound like they’re just my style.” “Yeah,” you muttered, “And I’ll get you those eyelashes you can put on your car, too.” Billy shook his head at you, unable to push back the smile from his face.

“It’s weird, y’know?” he said suddenly, shifting a bit in his seat. It caught you by surprise, you were telling him about the presents at the party that were so bad that they were good, and the smile dropped from his lips as he spoke. “Secret Santa?” you asked slowly, confused at the sudden change. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ve never had anybody like this to talk to,” he said, hands moving to gesture towards the camera. “Mari-” you began before he cut in. “Nah,” he shook his head, “Not like that. Someone who’s mine.” A silence came over you, the weight of his words hanging in the air as you looked at him at the screen. You thought for a second the screen froze, but Billy blinked his eyes. “Did it freeze?” he said softly, after you hadn’t responded or moved. You shook your head, slowly at first. The sound of the heavy rain against your window were a tell-tale sign, but you weren’t sure of what to say at first. “No,” you replied back, just as softly. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said, the regret apparent in his eyes, “I didn’t me-” You cut in, “No, I want you to mean it like that, Billy. I want to be somebody for you. I just didn’t know how you felt, and I’m too afraid I’ll overstep something, some kind of boundary…” Billy laughed softly, the skin around his eyes crinkling up the way it did when he really smiled, “You’re an idiot. You and me both. We let dumb shit like this hold us back.” You couldn’t help but mirror his laugh, the tension sliding off your shoulders, even as the storm didn’t let up outside, “No more dumb shit.” “No more,” he repeated, “Just us.” For the first time since that kiss the night of the party at the Castle’s home, you felt at peace. The sound of the rain was now comforting, the pitter-patter against your window now soothing you as you smiled at Billy’s image on the screen. “Just us,” you said softly, “Us.”

[novantinuum]

Ballroom Etiquette

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 2.8K~

Summary: As much as it pains him to admit it amidst all the boring protocol, Pearl is absolutely right. There’s no room for imperfection at a Homeworld Ball.

In which Steven is publicly introduced to the Gems of Homeworld as Pink Diamond, and he experiences the first true stage fright of his life.

(Canon compliant, a missing scene set during ‘Together Alone.’)

You can find the AO3 link in the reblogs! (I have to omit it from the original post these days to ensure this will show up in the tags.) If you enjoyed this, I’d greatly appreciate your support over there as well.

Ballroom Etiquette “Do we have to say all this?” he questions, nose scrunching as he squints at the string of dialogue displayed on the view screen that Pearl’s been so gracious to translate out of written Gem for him.

His guardian wets her finger, and begins the meticulous and daunting task of coaxing his flyaway curls to stand still. For once in his life he doesn’t protest.

“Unfortunately, I’m afraid we have no choice,” she mutters, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear as he continues to commit the mini speech to memory.

“But it’s all so stiff!”

“It kinda feels like we’re in one of the Regency Era dramas my mom watches,” Connie comments, peeking over his shoulder to read the screen, and shrugs. “I always thought they were pretty boring, really.” She’s wearing different clothes now, namely that skirt and blouse she showed up to Kevin’s party in, and her dark hair is tied back. She looks lovely, he thinks, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

“Well, boring or not, it’s very important that we uphold every Homeworld custom to the letter tonight,” Pearl says, and crosses her arms. “And that includes all the stiff dialogue.”

He visibly deflates, his shoulders hunching inwards. “Awww man, can’t we like... adapt it a little or somethin’?”

Any and all remaining color drains out of the pale Gem’s face at his suggestion.

“Not with White Diamond in attendance, goodness no,” she says in a fervent whisper, eyes blown wide. She rapidly scans their surroundings, as if paranoid someone unwanted is listening in to their rebellious conversations. “You have to understand, she won’t settle for anything less than complete perfection!”

“Doesn’t feel like perfection,” Steven mumbles, glaring daggers at the view screen in hand.

“Yes, and I’m sorry for that. I know none of this is ideal, but like you said— we need to talk to White. And I think this may be the thing that finally coerces her out of her head.”

“Hey, it’s just for tonight, right?” Connie says with a reassuring smile. Gently, she rests her hand on his arm. “We’ll be fine!”

He breathes deep, letting her solid presence ground him. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s do this.”

“Excellent!” Pearl nods. “I’ll let Blue and Yellow’s pearls know we’re about to begin.”

She spins on her heels and leaves the ballroom’s connecting chamber with such refined, habitual grace that it sends a physical pang through his heart just to witness it. Sure, of course she’s worth far more as an individual than the endless servitude of the place from whence she came, but watching her interact with other Gems here on Homeworld carries a weight far greater than any burden he can imagine. The ease at which she slots back into old routine bit-by-bit— seemingly without thinking, from an outsider’s perspective— it stings.

Inhaling evenly, he eyes the thick curtain they’re set to enter the ballroom through in but a few minutes. Beyond, the Gems of the courts await the return of their beloved diamond. At least, who they believe to be their beloved diamond. Steven genuinely doesn’t know how these Homeworld Gems will react to him. He doesn’t exactly look like the Pink they remember, after all. Nevertheless, their excitement is palpable, hundreds of low chittering voices echoing through the crystal studded rafters despite the usual decorum of such a ball. Frowning, he nervously shuffles his feet underneath him as he tries and fails not to think about the near future. The white pom poms floating at the tips of his shoes follow his motion perfectly. The outfit the Pebbles made him may fit like a second skin, but the longer he wears it the more it feels wrong... in the ‘disrespecting the deceased’ sort of way.

He’s honestly never considered himself the type to get all nervous about crowds until this very moment. Sweat beads at his brow as his mind swims at the thought of their incoming entrance. His fidgeting hands grow clammy. Compared to the number in attendance tonight, his past Beach-a-Palooza performances are but a mere pit stop. The thing is, at least home in Beach City he has the reassurance that everyone personally knows him. At least then he knows he has nothing to prove.

Here? His every word— heck, his every waking breath— commands the sole line drawn between life and eternal corruption. Fall flat in front of this crowd, and he can kiss saving the bubbled Gems goodbye.

As much as it pains him to admit it amidst all the boring protocol, Pearl is absolutely right. There’s no room for imperfection at a Homeworld Ball.

Music begins to chime from inside the ballroom as Pearl, Steven, and Connie dutifully line up behind the opaque curtain, a number of Gems he hasn’t gotten the chance to officially meet yet still skittering around them in a logistics motivated frenzy. The melody is played on no kind of instrument he audibly recognizes— a thought that briefly excites him in its learning potential before he realizes no, no, there’s no time to waste daydreaming about enriching yourself with other forms of Homeworld culture. Regardless, the overall cadence of the piece brings back faint memories of the traveling circus Dad brought him to in Ocean Town once, on his sixth birthday. Which is a rather apt comparison, since that’s exactly what all of this feels like. One gigantic three-ring circus.

“By the way, the Diamonds told me to tell you that they want you to present your aura when you enter,” Pearl whispers, straightening her sash.

His brow creases, newfound worry rising to replace the fear he left behind.

“My what?”

“Aura. Theoretically, all diamonds have one, and they think it’d be helpful in convincing the courts that you really have Pink’s gem. Mind you, I’m just the messenger.”

“But I don’t know how to do that,” he blurts out in a mild panic, glancing from her to his gloved hands. “I barely know what I’m doing at this ball in the first place!”

“I’m sure as long as you try your best, everything will work out fine,” Connie says. “They have to understand by now that you don’t have any of your mom’s memories about this sorta stuff.”

“I’m afraid you overestimate their objectivity,” Pearl mutters, peeking through the curtain briefly before turning back to face the two of them. “But otherwise, yes.” With a reassuring smile, she kneels so they’re at eye level and calms his nervous hands in her own. “Listen… We’re all so proud of you for even attempting this, Steven. Just do the best you can following their customs. You’ll get through it, I promise.”

His heart grows a little lighter as she gives his hands a light squeeze, further reinforcing the sense of groundedness that hangs in such a delicate balance right now.

“All of us will,” his best friend adds, nodding towards the ivory Gem. “Together.”

“Together,” he echoes, and immediately pulls the two of them into a tight embrace. Tears prickle at the corner of his eyes as he focuses his mind on the comforting weight of their arms wrapped around him. “Thanks, you guys.”

“Ahem!” a familiar voice interrupts.

He looks up, their hug loosening, only to see Yellow Diamond’s Pearl looming over him. There’s almost something smug about the way she regards them all, eyes narrowed and pointed nose held aloft. He wonders if Yellow sent her personally. Notably, when her gaze briefly flickers towards Pearl, her mouth curves into a haughty sneer.

“Pink Diamond,” she says to him with a snappy Homeworld salute. “Whenever you are ready to begin, just let your pearl know. Goodness knows we can get ever so distracted. Perhaps the Diamonds should finally have us all replaced.”

Pearl freezes, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks. Even Connie covers her mouth in shock at her bluntness.

“No, no, I was just— talking to her, it was all me,” Steven explains, gesturing wide. “She did nothing wrong, a-and…” His eyes snap open wide upon realizing the self-depreciation evident in her comment. Perhaps the Diamonds should finally have us all replaced. And she said it with such nonchalance. Once more, his heart aches for the mistreatment of the Gems on Homeworld. “And neither did you!”

“If you say so, My Diamond. In any case, my Diamond will see you inside the ballroom shortly.”

With this final remark, Yellow Pearl turns on her heels and promptly removes herself from their presence. He watches her stalk off with a pensive frown, a sudden wave of melancholy flowing like ice through his veins. It’s a stark reminder of the truth he doesn’t quite want to admit after his previous starry-eyed optimism: that even if he can mend the bonds between the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds, even if he can heal all the corrupted Gems, there’s still a lot of inequality and unfair treatment on Homeworld they have to sort out. He has a lot of work cut out for him no matter what, that’s for sure.

“Well, guess we can’t stall this any longer,” Connie says. “You ready?”

Despite his currently conflicted emotions, he manages a grin. “As I’ll ever be. Pearl, you’ll be okay, right?”

“Hah, me?” she scoffs, gesturing at herself with a sly smile so befitting of the confident, fearless rebel he’s always known her as. “I participated in hundreds of balls during my time here with Pink. What’s one more?”

Squaring her shoulders back, she passes between the curtains and enters the ballroom. Immediately, their audience falls silent in anticipation.

“I still don’t know how to do the aura thing,” Steven frantically whispers to Connie, cupping his mouth with his hand. “I think it’s what I did in the battle on the beach, when I was stuck in that weird psychic ghost zone, but I’m not sure!”

“Well, what were you thinking during it?”

“Uh… mostly, I was tired of people fighting about it, so… I guess I just really wanted them to finally know the truth?”

“Then maybe you should try focusing on that,” she suggests, smoothing out the wrinkles on her skirt. “You’ll do great out there, I know you will!”

“If I may have everyone’s attention,” he hears Pearl declare from beyond the curtain, and promptly snaps to attention, preparing himself to enter. The almost robotic cadence of her voice as she’s forced back into her former role in yet another fashion is disturbingly jarring. “Presenting, safe on Homeworld for the first time in over five millennia, the kind and charismatic elegance that is Pink Diamond!”

He breathes deep one last time, in and out, and with Connie at his side (not even the stringent customs of the diamonds could scare him into presenting their relationship as anything but that of equals) he slips past the thick curtains. The music cuts off.

Immediately, his heart beating double time, his senses are assaulted by indiscriminate flashes of light and color. These further coalesce into recognizable shapes, into rows of Homeworld Gems of all courts and cuts, Gems as far as the eye could see. His hands jitter at his side. The amount of people watching, it’s- it’s unfathomable, and uncomfortable, and they’re all staring directly at him. Curiously, expectantly. But wait, what are they—?

He finally spots Pearl, his guardian standing stiff in fifth position at the foot of Pink Diamond’s throne, all the way across the vast reaches of the ballroom. A subtle smile curving across her face, the Gem nods at him, and it’s exactly the encouragement he needs.

“They want you to present your aura when you enter,” the Pearl of the past reminds him. “They think it’d be helpful in convincing the courts that you really have Pink’s gem.”

“I still don’t know how to do the aura thing,” he admits to Connie, hands growing clammy.

“Well, what were you thinking during it?”

“I guess I just really wanted them…”

“...to know the truth,” he whispers in completion, steeling his nerves. Even if this doesn’t work the way he intends, he at least has to try. Everything that happens tonight, he thinks, anchoring his mind and soul on all the bubbled Gems waiting for him back at home. This is for you guys.

His eyes flutter shut, and— aligning his thoughts on the same themes of radical light, hope, and love that permeated his sense of self when confronting the Diamonds— he extends his arms. Simultaneously, a strangely familiar rush of energy radiates outwards from his gem. Next to him, he hears Connie let out an awed gasp. Steven opens his eyes.

He… he actually did it! The entire ballroom is bathed in pink, the air nearly shimmering as the Gems in attendance audibly react to the reality of this revelation. Eyes widen in dumbfounded shock all throughout the crowd. Some begin excitedly chittering to their neighbors, while others fall silent in the wake of their slowly receding disbelief. In the front row, a stocky maroon Gem struggles to contain her tears. He can’t help but breathe a soft laugh of relief, knowing this success brings him one step closer to convincing White to help. The throne, however, lies so many steps further.

He and Connie cruise across the ballroom floor as fast as they can gracefully manage, desperate to get out of the spotlight. The fact that everyone’s focus is squared directly on him honestly leaves his skin crawling. In literally any other scenario he’d probably revel in being the center of attention, but here, presented in the guise of his mother, all of this feels wrong. It feels fabricated, insincere. Yes, he may have the same gem, but that doesn’t make them the same person. He’s not Her.

It’s the truth no one on Homeworld seems to understand.

Finally, they climb the steps to the pink throne. As rehearsed, Connie falls in place beside Pearl, demurely crossing her feet. At the foot of the throne, he turns to look back at the diverse crowd. Seeing who they believe to be their diamond standing whole before them once more, they fall silent. Sweat beads on his brow as his mouth bobs open. Words... Oh gosh, what are the words? His short speech?? His breath quickens as the silence drags on far too long. This is bad, this is so, so bad. He’s so sure he had it memorized a moment ago, but now he can barely remember a single syllable of it! His limbs go rigid, frozen in place under the weight of Homeworld’s judgement.

(He can even sense Connie’s eyes pinned on him, and he’s not sure what to feel about that.)

“Greeting,” Pearl whispers from the corner of her mouth.

“Uh... h-hello, loyal subjects!” he stammers, painfully aware how off-script he is, “I—“

A warm hand slips into his, a perfect fit. Connie. She gives his fingers a gentle squeeze. He inhales through his nose, wholly focusing himself on the solidness of the ground beneath his feet. Like a river breaking through a dam, the words surge forth.

“My courts,” he recites in as posh and refined a tone he can manage, “I appreciate having you all in attendance tonight, to celebrate the grand occasion of my return. That’s why, uh… As such, if White Diamond is in approval, this ball will mark the start of Era Three.”

Pearl gives a deep curtsey, gesturing wide at the assembled crowd. “Gems previously belonging to Pink’s court may now present themselves,” she says impassively, and then returns to fifth position.

“Thank you, Pearl!”

Her arms and hands automatically shoot into the traditional salute over her chest. “You’re very welcome, My Diamond.”

And with those very words, the spell over the crowd dissipates. The music resumes. A line of Pink court Gems begins to assemble at the front of the ballroom, preparing themselves for presentation. Nearly buzzing with excess adrenaline, he jumps up to reach the throne’s seat.

“You did wonderful, Steven,” Pearl says from below.

“Thanks for the help,” he grins, kicking his feet to slow his descent. His feet touch down with barely a hair on his head ruffled. “Geeze, am I glad that’s over,” he sighs, and plops down to sit in the massive pink throne with his legs criss-crossed. “I’ve never dealt with stage fright like that in my whole life!”

“Now you probably understand what I felt like at my middle school dance a few years ago,” Connie laughs.

“Heh, yeah! I—” he runs his fingers through the short curls at the nape of his neck— “I just hope it was enough to make a good impression.”

“I’m sure you did,” she says. “Anyways, there’s no use fussing about it now. What happens, happens. And hey, who knows? Pearl said there’d be dancing, right? Maybe the rest of this ball will be kinda fun!”

[alifeleadsimply]

Single mama? Then self-care is even more important to your welfare!

Do you prioritise yourself? Do you remember that you have to take care of yourself? Have you ever thought about this?

I know. You are busy, the days are too short, the workload too heavy, the kids too demanding. Finding the time and space to take care of yourself can be challenging. Sometimes it can even feel impossible, especially if you have to do it alone. But for your own sake, as well as those around you, you need to make it a priority. If you do not, you cannot be surprised by burnout, exhaustion, foul moods, anxiety, and trying to exist, all in a mental fog.

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Society puts so much pressure on us to succeed. Add to that obsessive, competitive personalities and additional pressure to be the best mother/daughter/ /businesswoman/friend/etc. and you have a recipe for disaster. For single mamas, the pressure is even more intense – we have the special edition mom-guilt that keeps us going even long after we should have stopped to rest. So often we don’t even notice that we are running at full steam, without ever taking a break to recharge. From the outside, it looks as if we have it all together – a thriving career, obedient well-rounded kids (who we most probably are homeschooling), a clean house. But on the inside, we are slowly dying of exhaustion. Of course, most of the goals that we are killing ourselves to meet were set by us ourselves, and only we will know if we do not reach them. But still, we allow the pressure to steal our time. The time that is also meant to be enough to take care of ourselves.

I have now officially been a single mom for 5 months. 5 long months. Not only have I had to deal with severe separation anxiety (my kids’, not mine) as well as grief, I have also had to weather the Corona storm. So we have been on this up-and-down rollercoaster of emotions, locked in our home, where we now have to learn and play and clean and live. Just us.

During this time, I have realised again that if I allow myself to slide, if I stop prioritising myself, my kids are the first to pay. I become short-tempered, irrational, and just plain mean. When I allow myself to refuel and find the joy in taking care of myself, I am a much better mom – a much better human being. And that is what my kids deserve. So self-care has now become a huge priority, and almost first on the weekly to-do list.

What is self-care?

Self-care is knowing who you are, and what you need to ensure your own tank is full. That tank includes your emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual and social sides. All of these aspects must be balanced and fed, often, to ensure that you live instead of merely exist, that you thrive instead of just survive.

I found this beautiful definition when I did the research for this post. I cannot remember where it was from, so if you recognize it or it is your own, please let me know so that I can reference you! The author said something along the lines of:

"Self-care is not a one-time thing that you can tick off a bucket list. It’s the constant repetition of many tiny habits, which together soothe you and make sure you’re at your optimum—emotionally, physically, and mentally"

Do you want to be at your best – emotionally, physically, and mentally? I would dare to guess that your answer will be “of course”. Then focus on yourself for a bit. Self-care doesn’t have to take time, it can be small things that you do on a daily basis, which fits in in your busy schedule. And it also doesn’t have to cost a thing.

Self-care rests on 5 pillars:

Intellectual

Spiritual

Emotional

Physical

Social

Do something that supports and feeds each of these pillars as part of your self-care routine and you’ll nourish every aspect of your life.

Why?

If the promise of a better you were too vague to convince you, here are 5 benefits of practicing self-care that might make you see this differently:

1. Looking after yourself can actually improve your productivity

Saying “no” to things that would otherwise over-extend you simplifies your life in a wonderful way. When you do not have these mindless activities filling up your day you actually have time to spend on things that matter, allowing you to spend your energy on worthwhile activities.

2. It can increase your resistance to disease (boosts your immune system)

When you take care of yourself you activate your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), allowing your body to rest, rejuvenate, and recharge. This feeds your system, giving it the energy and strength to fight off those nasties that would otherwise make you sick.

3. Self-care improves your self-esteem

Knowing that you are worth looking after immediately makes you value yourself more. Being good to yourself decreases negative self-talk, making you a more positive person in the long run. And positivity has many benefits!

4. It gives you the space to get to know yourself

When last did you take the time to figure out what you love, what you hate, what you don’t mind, and what you wish? Practicing self-care requires thinking about what you really love to do. The exercise of figuring out what makes you feel passionate and inspired can help you understand yourself a lot better.

5. If your own tank is full, you have more to give others

Self-care gives you the resources you need to be compassionate to others. Giving compassion is a bit like filling a bucket from another, bigger bucket; you can’t fill someone else’s bucket if you don’t have enough in your own bucket!

Little and often wins the day

Here are tiny ways to exercise self-care and take better care of yourself. I have grouped them together according to the 5 pillars of self-care. Pick one exercise or activity from each group and incorporate it into your life somewhere during the week.

Tiny self-care ideas for the mind (intellect)

1. Read a book on something that interests you. Not a magazine, an actual book.

2. Look at your to-do list. Scratch of the things that are not necessary, as well as those items that are transferred from list to list. If you are never going to do it, take it off the list.

3. Go cloud-watching. Lie on your back, relax, and watch the sky. Use your imagination to see shapes and scenes.

4. Change a routine in your life. Take another route to work, order a different coffee, or change your ringtone. Mixing up your routine in small ways creates new neural pathways in the brain, helping to keep it healthy.

5. Enjoy a big belly laugh. Find something that gives you joy, and that is absurdly funny. Enjoy!

6. Learn something new that challenges you, but that is fun at the same time, e.g. take a dance class, learn how to knit, do a crossword.

7. Be selfish. Do one thing today just because it makes you happy.

8. Do a mini-declutter.

9. Recycle three things from your wardrobe that you don’t love or regularly wear.

Capsule wardrobe: Minimise your wardrobe without minimising your style

My winter capsule

10. Get out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just talking to a stranger at the bus stop.

11. Edit your social media feeds, and delete or unfollow any negative people.

Tiny self-care ideas for the body (physical)

1. Run, jog or walk for a few minutes. Exercise of any kind is a great mood booster and de-stressor.

2. Make one small positive change to your diet for the week. Drink an extra glass of water each day, or have an extra portion of vegetables with each meal. This can also include eliminating something from your diet for the week – no chocolate, no milk, no coffee. Just remember this is not to punish yourself, rather reward yourself with better, healthier habits.

3. Be still. Sit somewhere outside, preferably in the sun, and be quiet for a few minutes. This is a stepping stone to meditation.

Essential oils for meditation: Using nature to improve your life

4. Use essential oils in a diffuser, to calm you, give you focus, energise, etc. Try peppermint to suppress food cravings and boost mood and motivation.

5. Listen to music. Explore different genres and new artists.

6. Do yoga. Even if you’ve never tried it. Doing a mindful practice has many more benefits than just giving you a good stretch.

7. Nap when you need to. Just 20 minutes can make you feel mentally and physically refreshed.

8. Say “no” to invitations when you’re simply too tired to enjoy them, or if the gathering will just drain you mentally.

9. Take a long bath, with bath salts and oil, candles, and soft music. Read or just lie there and dream.

10. Commit to enough hours of sleep per night, barring exceptional circumstances (figure out how much sleep you need to function optimally)

Essential oils for sleep: Using nature to improve your life

Tiny self-care ideas for the soul (spiritual)

1. Read the Bible, and be still with God.

2. Choose who you spend your time with today. This includes social media. Cut out people who only drain you.

3. Stroke a pet. If you don’t have one, go to the park and find one. (Ask first!)

4. Make a small connection. Have a few sentences of conversation with someone in customer services such as a sales assistant or barista.

5. Have a self-date. Spend an hour alone doing something that nourishes you (reading, your hobby, visiting a museum or gallery, etc.)

6. Identify one of your strengths. Think about what you’re good at, and find an opportunity to use it.

7. Ask for help—big or small, just reach out and allow someone else to be there for you.

8. Go to church.

9. Be creative, whether through art, music, writing, or something else entirely.

10. Go on a trip with the sole purpose of photographing things that inspire you.

Tiny self-care activities for your moods (emotional)

1. Keep a daily journal, and be totally honest about your feelings. Start a gratitude practice

2. Write a list of “feeling words” to expand your emotional vocabulary.

3. Make time to be with a friend or family member who understands you.

4. Let yourself cry when you need to. Allow yourself to experience your emotions.

5. Sing along to happy music.

6. Cuddle up under a soft blanket. It is ok to allow yourself to feel comforted and comfortable.

7. Watch the flames of a candle or a fire.

8. Have crazy good chocolate. Or a glass of wine.

9. Walk barefoot on the grass.

10. Volunteer to help a cause that means something to you.

Tiny self-care activities for your social life (social)

1. Make a date to have lunch or dinner with a good friend.

2. Write an email to someone who lives far away, but whom you miss.

3. Reach out to someone you like but haven’t seen in a while.

4. Consider joining a group of people who share your interests.

5. Stop socializing with those who undermine or disempower you.

6. Strike up a conversation with someone interesting.

7. Sign up for a class to learn something and meet new people at the same time.

8. Spend time with a parent or mentor—someone who makes you feel protected and inspired.

9. Look into local retreats where you can meet like-minded people and escape from society.

10. Hug someone you love (friend, family member, or your child) for 12-15 seconds—studies show this boost immune system function and prompt the release of calming hormones. Just make sure it is someone you know and like, 12 seconds can be very long!

I am convinced that you should be able to find at least one activity in the above lists that speaks to you, and that is easily added to your weekly routine (tip: if you don’t have a weekly routine, start your self-care journey by working out a weekly routine). Once you can comfortably get to that one thing, add another. Continue until you are satisfied. And while you are busy, teach your kids the importance of self-care – let us all do our part in raising a generation who knows how to value themselves.

[webuyhousesinct-blog]

How Do I Do SEO For My Real Estate Investing Website?

I keep being asked: How Can I Learn SEO? How Do I Do SEO For My Website? The mistake everyone makes is this. Everyone wants SEO done. They know everyone talks about it, they know it is a good to have, but they have no idea what it REALLY is. How can you execute a plan based on a tool you have no idea to fully use ad what the benefits of that tool is? It ll starts with What EXACTLY IS SEO anyways?!

Although I am into real estate investing, and this is a post about SEO For Real Estate Investors, this obviously can be applied to ANY business.

Just so you will read this entire HUGE article, I will give you the results right now.

With SEO I have the power to Not only get a ton of leads (HIGH quality leads) for free, I also get to decide who stays in business and who gets bankrupt in my market!

HOW? 

If you want to be the top dog in your market.. READ ON!!

SEO = Search Engine Optimization. Yeah duh… I know. If you didn’t know this… I will buy you a ticket to CT and invite you to my home so I can bitch slap you 3 times!

What this means is simply this…

Search Engine Optimization:

Whatever you do, for Google to display your site first (high) on the search results page when someone does a search on Google. 

Being 1 in the search results will get you a lot of customers, no matter what business you are in. This is why people pay SEO companies a fortune to rank #1. No matter how much it costs, you are most likely going to get it back 10 fold if you convert this inflow of customers into leads, and then deals.

It is an investment with a ridiculous ROI. If you know what you are doing or have someone that knows what they are doing, do it for you, it is the best possible marketing you can possibly do. Getting to be #1 is not easy, but once there it is doable to stay there by just maintaining that position.

What EXACTLY IS SEO Anyways?!

So everyone gives the same answer when someone asks about SEO. “You get leads for free online”… “And these leads are high quality leads as these are people begging YOU to buy their house vs you begging THEM to sell their house with other forms of marketing.

BUT..

Let me give you the REAL power of SEO through an (evil and brutal ) example…

So first… Let’s be honest. We ll know what SEO RRRRRRELLY stands for right?

SEO stands for Seriously Evil Ostriches.

  This is what Google unleashes on yo Butt when you don’t take Search Engine Optimization seriously. It is such an underappreciated weapon people just ignore and it is beyond me why!

When you master SEO you are pretty much a God online. You control your business and more importantly you control other people’s businesses. You sit on your throne and pass judgement who gets to live and who doesn’t.

Wait whaaaat????

Let me give you a brutal example what power you actually have on others.

Long long long ago there was this awesome little monkey. He was minding his own business being awesome, cute, sexy as hell, helping fairies build him the best website in the world. Ohh really important fact.. He was SUPER SEXY OMAGAAHH!!!

Then the Evil Butthole Of The West saw how awesome his site was and decided to copy the copywriting, layout and my…  ohh sorry, I mean his brilliant ideas. ahem..

The awesome little monkey said.. “ohh no you don’t! you little poop“

So the overlord supreme (the little monkey) of the Google SERPs (search results) decided to pass judgment! The lil monkey checked which cities the Evil Butthole Of The West was doing deals in.. and did a Google search to see where they ranked.

And yup,..

they ranked #1

You dare to copy me.. MEEE MEEEEEEE and think you will get away with it? … he said.

Destroy Your Competition… (If You Want To)

The monkey checked to see which cities the Evil Butthole Of The West invests in and he took them ALL.. by creating specific city pages on his site targeting those cities the sad little butt of the west invests in.

EVERY single one of them.

How long do you think it took to overtake him?

ONE DAY!!

Why? How?

It is called Google trust.

Google trust happens when you have proved to  Google you are sexy as hell. When Google trusts you.. this happens…

Consider this…

Branding Your Company Is Important!

The word “Xerox” is a brand name correct? It has become such a strong brand that now people use it as an actual word.

“I have to Xerox this document”= I need to photocopy this document.

So now when you type “Xerox” int Google, Google knows you actually mean Xerox the company and this happens..

This happens because Google KNOWS Xerox is a company.

Now similarly.. in my market… the keyword “We buy houses in connecticut” is the number 1 typed in keyword to find companies that offer services of buying houses for cash. Well guess what happens when your company is now so sexy, and has Google trust?

Yup, Google now actually thinks that when someone types in that keyword, they are SPECIFICALLY looking for the company CALLED “We Buy Houses In Connecticut”..

And THAT company shows up.. like so:

But that is not all. See the circled “Mini links”? That increases Click through rate drastically… leaving competitors in the seh-MOKE!

How To Brand Your Company

Branding your company (like Xerox did) is one thing. Making google think your company is a brand is completely an other, but the principle remains. How does the community think you are a brand (like xerox)? Simple. You have to become an authority in that market. You become known, the go-to- business in the technology, the leader. (Have you noticed “Google” is a brand too? “How do you stop my dog from humping my cat”? Reply: “Google it you Dumbass”.  Google, the word now means something).

Branding your company is no different in Google’s eyes. Become the authority, the leader. How? Google needs to see people are talking about you, you need to be the authority in the business, have internet presence. Have you noticed that in my blog I m quite vague sometimes? I have to because people STEAL everything from me. I only show you the TIP of my iceberg.. damn that sounded dirty didn’t it. Only a select few get the full scope of my SEO godly knowledge. Yup I started consulting and only those that work with me get this power!

You must be thinking.. DAMN this SEO stuff is interesting.. huh?

Well Not even close to be done here, Silly Butt. So shut up, sit down and FOCUS!!

Look what the first page of Google looks like for someone with godly SEO skills…

Everywhere there is a blue arrow.. is us! We absolutely DOMINATE the first page of Google.

Now for those that have NOT me in their market.. be happy.. Gaadamn it be VERY Happy!! But for those unfortunate souls that have to deal with an evil maniacal little monkey… life sucks! WHY?

Let me show you why pumpkin..

SEO Gives You Control Over Your Market And Your Competitors Market.

Think about it… how would YOU get leads if some butt monkey is hogging Google?

PPC?

Direct Mail Marketing..?

Bandit Signs?

…

… right? .. and here is where SEO REALLY works for me.

PPC:

Have you seen the sites that do PPC? Often they know NOTHING about SEO and let SEO companies take over… well SEO companies ONLY do SEO. they do nothing about your conversion tactics or credibility score.

So when users see their sites.. they SUCK. Seriously horrible sites.. and as I am #1 they obviously see my site and my site.. as mentioned before.. is the best site in the world (as fairies made it).. they simply get more motivated to choose me because well duhh.. I am credible and awesome. (well so they think).

DDM:

For Direct mail marketing.. this is even MORE brutal. So a potential seller get a weird yellow mailer: …

Margarette: “Hey George.. GEORGE.. GEOOORGE you old senile freak I am TALKING to you!”

George : ” Good lord I’m right next to you woman, what do you want you old hag!”

Margarette: “well you old prune, I just got a card here i the mail with this young man wanting to buy our house in cash, how odd”

George: “That can’t be real Margarette.. WHO buys houses in cash.. just Google it you will see I am right”

So dear ol Margarette Googles:

We Buy Houses In Connecticut

Sell my house in Connecticut

who buys houses in Connecticut

cash for houses in Connecticut

…

Guess who is on top of the list? And a NASA scientist no less, helping old people walk again through robotics (CREDIBILITY)…

ME!

Don’t believe me?

      Bandit Signs?

Oh please I won’t even go there. What looks more shady, and screams for “google me”, than a nasty sing stapled to a street pole with “We Buy Houses” written on it. More so, no one will remember the phone number on such signs, so when they are interested and try to contact the owner of such a sign, what will they do? Yup Google: “We Buy Houses In Connecticut“, and 3 guesses who will be on top of the search results? Moi!

This is the most interesting part and this shows off Google Trust. I do not put bandit signs out. I think it is juvenile, too much work, and ILLEGAL! BUT…

Look what happens if Margarette happen to see a bandit sign on the street. Imagine she can’t remember the phone number on the sign.

So she would google.. maybe:  “who puts we buy houses signs in ct“. You kids want to see the result?

Yes? I bet you do!

Although I am the 3rd choice, the 1st, and 2nd result are not relevant to that search. So she would click on my site!

One more? Okie Dokie then!

Can you start to realize how powerful this is?

SEO Is King If You Know How To Use It Cleverly (Evilly?)

So not only aren’t they getting any leads organically.. even DMM, Bandit Signs, or PPC is giving ME most of their leads.. why?? SIMPLY because I am better at SEO than they are! Bragging much? You still do not get it do you. It is irrelevant if I am bragging or not. The underlying message remains. Everything I mentioned here is truth. The screenshots is obvious proof. So of this is true, then I proved my point. No marketing beats SEO!

So… Tell me again.. what is the best form or marketing?

SEO IS KING!!

Why You Shouldn’t Hire A SEO Company To Do Your SEO

As you can see I bet every SEO company that takes on clients in CT! How do I know? Because I rank 1 duhh. So how can that be? That is what they do, I m just a little monkey that took on SEO on my own… yet here I am, no one can touch me.

And this is exactly why I am untouchable. An SEO company needs to do SEO for how many people? A lot. If you do SEO for 2 sites, why would site #1 out perform site #2 if you are doing the same SEO for both? Not going to happen. Do you think an SEO company is going to spend 3, 5, 12 hours working on your site, when they have 30 more customers that need SEO lovin from them? No!

Take me for instance. I breathe SEO, eat SEO, Poop SEO, I make sweet love to SEO, I make not so sweet even rough, maybe a little perverted love to SEO 10, 12, 14 hours a day. I come up with novel completely unique SEO techniques (which I am obviously not sharing unless you hire me for a consulting gig!). Yes you are not going to beat me with SEO (easily). Don’t care how big of a company you are. The FACT you are an SEO company IS your weakness, going against me!

An SEO company has no chance with the dedication drive and obsession an individual will put into for their own company. So I know this reply feels like a lot of bragging… but it is done purposely.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

I can put ANYONE in my market out of business eventually by taking over their market… driving the to spend a fortune on marketing and in the process taking all their leads THEY paid for… All because of SEO. Should you?

Of course you shouldn’t. There are deals for everyone…   OMG I am sorry. I couldn’t write this with a straight face.

YES you moron. DESTROY, Annihilate, OBLITERATE, CRUSH, your competition. Why?

To be at the top is not about being the best one. Someone else will always be better than you, just wait long enough and you will be overtaken. no no.. the saying goes.. to be on top you need to be sure you are the ONLY one! Yes brutal. Believe me when they are successful, and their success is killing your business, when you need the money to feed your kids, no one will old back and give you a chance. You need to grab your chance be sure no one pushes you down. If you do not have this mentality. Get out now. You will not make it.

Does this mean you can’t help others? Of course help others. I am helping you by writing this aren’t I? Help others succeed by all means. But don’t hold back when it comes to your own success!

SEO is more powerful than you can possibly IMAGINE.

BUT…

SEO Without Credibility Means NOTHING!!

SEO is not everything.

For all you Math lovers out there, prepare to get excited.

DEALS = SEO + CREDIBILITY

OK so now…

Let’s look at par 1 of the equation:

SEO/DMM/my dirty boxers with my phone number written on it/…

This section just gets you noticed. It gets you in front of the seller.

Now the 2nd Part Of The Equation.

Credibility. This convinces the seller you are the best solution to their problem

SEO without credibility…

You are in front of a seller and you say something like:

“Yo my name is Zimbwabambiniwe,  give me your bank account number because I want to give you 1M dollars so I can get my 10 M dollars“.

Shady much?

So what if you are in front of a seller, no one will believe you are credible without credibility.

Now let’s consider the other way.

Credibility Without SEO

Without SEO or any marketing, you could have bought 3 gazibilion houses and you could have paid 3x the market value of the house with concrete proof… who cares if no one even knows you exist, let alone find you.

So you need both!

Yes yes I am friggin awesome I know I KNOW!!

The Result:

And if you are as good at SEO as I am…. you are dangerous! Very dangerous. And I am such an evil butt douche. I am maniacal!

But all this means nothing without results… concrete results:

    I keep telling people. Be a YODA in SEO

If you have no one like me in your market…

KNOW how lucky you are!!

Become that “ME” in your market BEFORE someone else does (or convinces me to help them become the local SEO Yoda), because..

IF you don’t.. game over!

BUT BUT BUT.. I have to admit.. it is not all SEO goodness… being handsome beyond comprehension does help. Don’t believe me?

Damn I am hot!

  How Do I Do SEO For My Website How Do I Do SEO For My Real Estate Investing Website? I keep being asked: How Can I Learn SEO? 

[imunbreakabledude]

Nice acc, what's your herb run strats? I'm neglectful. Any good show recs too? I'm out :(

ah thanks! been seriously playing the iron as my main acc for a bit over a year now and work from home at the moment so i have been able to make more concerted progress, and wanted to track it i guess lol

for show recs I am happy to give them but there are simply so many shows out there that some pointer of what you are looking for in tone/genre/topic (or other shows you like) would help narrow it!

as for herb runs i am not particularly on the forefront of efficiency but I guess some basic tips that you might already know?

I have all the patches unlocked besides harmony (mory elite are kinda high reqs) - definitely do the My Arm quests for the troll patches if you haven't

other unlocks if you don't already have them - lumby med diary for tele to falador patch (hard for unlimited), ardy med/hard diary for patch tele, hosidius favor for patch protection, one of the kandarin diaries (i forget if it starts at med or hard?) boosts catherby patch yield; i think one of the kourend diaries boosts the farming guild patch yield as well

for seeds just always be doing farming contracts. all the time. every login... just make the farming guild your home base and do contracts whenever you can. rush the 65/85 milestones as soon as you can, use a garden pie to boost from 82->85 for hard contracts, it's worth it

i'm assuming you already have magic secateurs... and probably already use ultracompost but if you don't... it is 100% worth it. always use ultracompost on everything it is more than worth the scant time it takes to make a big batch of it

For transportation to each patch, I do:

Catherby -> House portal (can boost from 83 magic with magic pot/mind bomb to make the portal in a regular portal chamber - i think you can't boost for a nexus tho). Camelot tele next best option

Falador -> Explorer's ring

Morytania -> Ectophial

Ardougne -> Ardy cloak 2

Hosidius -> xeric's talisman (i think POH at hosi also works but I like having mine in rimmington personally since there's no other good rimmington tele)

troll stronghold roof -> Get the salt/basalt tele in your POH portal chamber. it doesn't take that long to get the salts for the regular (non nexus) portal and is 100% worth it. if you have 73 agil and fremmy hard it puts you right on the roof, even without that it's much faster than trollheim tele

weiss -> ditto above. (personally I have a portal chamber with weiss/troll stronghold/catherby portals which is super convenient for clicking them on runs and also saves having to get the more salts/higher levels to get those in the nexus)

farming guild -> spirit tree. (skills necklace is also fine, but thinking back to the days when i used the fairy ring to get to the guild? oh god that sucked. this is another reason rushing 85 farm helps a lot - if you don't already have it, as soon as you get 82/83 plant a spirit tree in your POH and in the farming guild (can boost with garden pie to get into the top tier). the one in your POH doesn't count towards the limit so you can do both right at 83

again i'm assuming you know but i guess i'll type it anyway because there's always people who don't know this whenever it's mentioned on reddit... note your produce at the tool leprechauns lol

also if you get irrationally pissed off when weeds grow right after you harvest a patch ... autoweed from tithe farm only takes 30-40 mins tops to get and is super easy and while not necessary at all just feels NICE to not have to bring a rake or feel bad when you space out after harvesting

one purely superficial tip i took from another iron i think, who probably also did it while going mad doing herb runs, was i planted a different crop at each allotment patch and just left it so it looks nicer than empty/weed patches! cabbages at fally, potatoes at mory, strawberries at kourend... it makes it feel more like they are my little gardens when i walk up to them lmao (you may want to actually plant limpwurt roots tho and harvest those with every herb run until you build up a good stock of them) (snape grass I only plant in the farming guild for contracts and have gotten way more than enough that way, no need to plant it anywhere else) (also, plant potato cacti and harvest whenever you can to build up a good stock for using your lantadymes bc it's easier to gather those than blue dragon scales - personally I leave one always grown in the farm guild until i need to harvest it for a contract, and leave one in al kharid that i can pick from any time i pass by without having to regrow it)

other than that there aren't really any tricks but yeah. don't listen to anyone who says master farmers are the only way, honestly they're kinda shit for herb seeds in my experience (and i hate pickpocketing) - contracts + slayer (but mostly contracts) will keep you fed on herb seeds

wow i just wrote so much about herb runs after saying i had nothing to say about herb runs... this game is something.