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office-worker-91 · 9 months

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Infinity Train Fear and Hunger AU Snippet 3

(This WAS the end of these weird AU snippets, but I have more ideas to throw around so there's gonna be one more after this. Still, if I ever do anything else with this concept it will be in a Fear and Hunger INSPIRED Au called Infinity Dungeon AU, that way I could avoid the more uncomfortable parts of Fear and Hunger while still having the basic gist of the franchise available.)

(CW: Serious Injuries, Mentions of Gore)

It was shaky at first. Very shaky.

Jesse and Lake had ran into a strange cave, covered in flesh. Lake was not surprised to see it, nor were they particularly affected by it. Jesse was an entirely different story. He squirmed and tip toed across the hall as Lake rolled their eyes at the human, slipping into an unfamiliar steel contraption to hopefully hide from any monsters around. With that, Lake turned to Jesse, realizing they were stuck with him, and decided to lay out some ground rules.

They get to distribute the duo's food.

If he does anything stupid that gets them in trouble, they're ditching him.

"If you steal from me I'll bash your brains in." (All talk of course, though at the time Jesse didn't know that)

The boy just nodded along vigorously, not speaking at all. The two were silent at first, still sheltering in the metal contraption, but when Jesse decided to poke around in it he found a lever that sent the contraption downwards with them in it.

Lake considered enacting rule 2 right then and there, but there was no time for that. Their stomach growled and drove them out of the cage to explore the huge cave they had been brought to, Jesse scampering behind them.

He then began to talk. A lot.

"Woah, this place is huge! Y'know, I heard from one of my friends that caves like this are formed because of underground rivers! UNDERGROUND. RIVERS!"

"Are you... made of metal?! How? Why? Does that mean you're invincible? Is that how you've survived down here?"

"Soooooo... what do you think was up with that flesh hallway?...... Y'know what, let's not talk about it."

"By All-Mer, is that a deer???"

Lake had Jesse tuned out, which meant that they didn't notice the deer until they ran face first into it. They immediately backed up, terrified that it was some monstrosity that would destroy the bridge they were both on and take them and Jesse down with it. Instead the deer looked at them with simultaneously dead and curious eyes. Some sort of impossible mixture of no thought and unknowable thought that boggled their mind.

Jesse liked the deer. He tip-toed up close to it and stared in awe. Lake regained their voice and yelled out to stand back, not wanting Jesse to get turned into mince meat five minutes after deciding they would protect him, but the deer didn't attack, or ever approach Jesse. It just kept staring.

The sunshine boy went on a rant that, somehow, ended in giving the deer a green herb to eat (didn't he know those were a valuable medical resource???) and naming him Alan Dracula. Stars shone in his eyes as he gazed at the inexplicable cave deer lovingly. Lake wanted to reprimand him, but two things happened.

They saw Jesse's face. It was... utterly happy. Despite everything the boy must've gone through, despite his discomfort and his nervous ramblings, right now he was utterly happy. Lake had vague memories of the sun from being Tulip's reflection. They think this must be what being out in the sun is like.

They look at "Alan Dracula" and realize their reaction to him had been similar to Jesse's reaction to them, something Lake didn't appreciate. Just because something wasn't human, and it was down in the dungeons.... well, Lake was living proof that not all monsters are monstrous, right?

So Lake stepped forwards and tentatively reached out to pat Alan Dracula. In response, the deer simply closed its eyes. Jesse, for the third time since they've met less than half an hour ago, begged Lake for something, this time asking if they could "keep him." Lake refused, but it sounded weak when they were feeling his soft head in their hands. They pivoted their stance to "the deer has free will and can come if it wants!" which led to the two turning around and walking back across the bridge. The deer stared after them, but didn't follow.

Jesse was disappointed, and Lake was too, but they wouldn't show it. They were starving, and Jesse was starting to get hungry too. So they kept scouring the cave, and that's when they saw it: Eggs. Giant eggs. Dozens of them.

The sunshine boy ran forward eagerly before his metal companion had to pull him back. They reminded him that something has to LAY those eggs in order for them to be there. Instead of this getting what Lake thought was the appropriate reaction, Jesse suddenly got very sad and said he didn't want to eat some poor cave creature's eggs. Lake wasn't sure whether that was a sign of goodness of heart or insanity, but either way they knew they still needed to eat. So after some light convincing and a growing pain in his stomach, Jesse agreed they would take a few, but not enough for the mother to know any were missing.

As Lake shoved some eggs into their pack and instructed Jesse to do the same, they heard something. From the dark abyss they were standing next to, something was coming toward them. Their fight or flight instinct kicked in, and they grabbed Jesse's hand and tried to run, but by that point the thing was already upon them. It was winged. It's talons were sharp, each a few inches long. It's face was HORRIBLE, it was so humanoid and it didn't belong on its monstrous body. Lake wonders if maybe that's how people see them.

Okay, flight didn't work. On to fight, then. They quickly tossed Jesse an iron spear they'd found on a table somewhere, which he caught clumsily in his hands, his face one of pure terror. They then pulled out their trusty morning star, their prized weapon they had lucked out with in a random chest.

The mother was brutal. It pecked and slashed with overwhelming speed and power. Lake's swings didn't all connect, as the thing was in the air and they had to get close in order to hit it, but the swings they did land were solid. They targeted the wings, knowing without them it was much less mobile, and hoping Jesse would do the same.

Surprisingly, he did. He wasn't all that bad. Despite the weapon he held being steel he had control over it, suggesting physical strength Lake didn't know was there before. Holes and bruises covered the beasts wings, but Lake wasn't without injury. The talons scratched up their skin, which normally wouldn't concern Lake, but it looked like it was beginning to do actual damage, which wasn't something they've experienced before. The mother was by far the toughest thing they had to fight, and if that's true they didn't even want to THINK about what this was like for Jesse. For most of the battle he was relatively unharmed, but at one point the cave mother dashed past Lake and bit down on Jesse neck, causing him to scream and fall over.

Lake didn't know why, but they panicked.

They swung their morning star at the thing's already damaged left wing and broke it. The mother in retaliation rushed towards Jesse again, and Lake protected him once again without thinking. Their arm seared with pain at the blow, and they swore that nothing had ever cut them that deep before. They dropped their weapon and hissed, but before the mother could finish the job Jesse had stood and wildly thrusted the spear into the mother's wing with one hand while the other clutched his injured neck. The cave mother cried terribly, now on its talons, before backing away from the pair, eying them with pure hatred as it walked off the edge and it slowly slinked into the dark abyss.

Lake looked at their arm, determined it would stay attached to them for now, and immediately ran over to Jesse and bandaged his wound to stop the bleeding. He thanked them for the save, and Lake did the same while simultaneously calling him soft. It was meant to be a joke, but they said it grimly. He gave a weak laugh regardless.

As they began to leave the area towards the iron cage (who knows if there were more of those things), both of them saw something charging towards them in the darkness. It was the cave mother, now running, wingless, towards them in a blind fury. There was no way they could fight that thing, nor run from it, in their current state. Lake shielded Jesse, wondering, crazed from hunger and pain, if Jesse was an angel sent to earth to release them from the hellish dungeons and into the afterlife, guiding them towards death.

Then Alan Dracula was next to them.

Jesse didn't question it and grabbed Lake's hand, vaulting onto the deer's back. Lake wanted to protest, saying they were too heavy for a deer to carry, but when Jesse pulled them up, Alan Dracula began dashing as if they weighed nothing at all.

Lake didn't know much of anything about deer, but apparently they're faster than winged cave ladies, since he easily outran the creature and headed into what vaguely looked like mines, dashing straight into them and not stopping until the cave mother had obviously lost them.

As soon as he stopped, Alan Dracula threw Jesse and Lake onto the ground in a painful, moaning heap of flesh and metal. They were injured, more so than either had ever been in their entire lives, but they were alive. Alan Dracula looked down at them, that same mix of thoughtlessness and thoughtfulness present in his eyes.

The two hugged Alan Dracula, which he let them do. Both were crying from the experience they'd just had. Still, they had food. They had each other. And they had a "rad deer friend," as Jesse lovingly put it while scratching him behind the ear.

After taking a while to get their bearings, the three ventured off deeper into the mines, careful to be stealthy and evade anything they saw that moved.

#infinity train #jesse cosay #lake infinity train #jesslake #au idea #fear and hunger #alan dracula #thank you for listening paper bag people #Me: I would never hurt my babies physically. Only emotionally.#Also me:#I really expected to finish these snippets here #but I guess I'm doing one more #I know nobody reads these or cares but I still appreciate the few people who heart them #cw: gore #cw: injury #If I ever turn this into an actual fanfic it will be a modified version of the Fear and Hunger AU called #Infinity Dungeon AU

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silentwalrus1 · 4 years

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the real bumpkin ass motherfucker test for any work of fiction is: is there at least one rant about a single type of stupid fucking plant you got from the local greenhouse/plant store CONSTANTLY overproducing (tomatoes, zucchini, and squash are good examples), how fucking awful anything leafy is to grow, what a pain in the ass potatoes are, or the conflicting emotions when summer comes around because it's finally nice weather and you can go swim at the pond! but the air stinks of hot cow shit

OH! MORE BREADBOWL COUNTRY THINGS! half your land, if you have a large plot is unusable because it goes into marsh/swamp so you just have some fucking forest now i guess. fruit trees are a nightmare if you can't/won't do pesticides. there's inexplicably always a bush of nightshade somewhere on your property. MULBERRY TREES!!! also, browsing the burpee seed catalogue for fun at your grandparent's house when you forgot to bring multiple books. there are so fucking many tomato cultivars. how.

ahgsgshvgsvhs ive decided that

1. since Hoho was keeping a low profile he probably wasn’t working much as an Independent Local Alchemist or whatever

2. and he was a traveling deadbeat before he settled down with trisha and her pussy witch mojo, so he didn’t exactly have much, and he WAS an alchemist so he wouldn’t like, have Secret Immortal Money Hoards or whatever bc why bother when u can either find work anywhere or just fucking counterfeit money urself when u need it.

3. and then he fucked off AGAIN, leaving Trisha to single mom it,

4. And since we see that the Elric house is NOT an actual working farm - they don’t grow stuff, they don’t keep animals, it’s just a house

5. I constantly see art and gifs and stuff of Trisha Pastorally Hanging Stuff Up On A Clothesline

i have arrived at the conclusion that Trisha had a job, and that job was taking in laundry. The Elric house is Resembool’s laundromat

Which means that Ed and Al were part of the service sector in a farming & shepherding economy. This, plus their leaving to study alchemy, plus their association with the Rockbells (also service industry - medical professionals) means that while the rest of Amestris thinks Ed and Al are straw-chewing, jorts-wearing, cow-tipping weird rednecks, they are definitely considered Soft City Intellectuals by the actual Resembool agricultural community, despite the fact that they are also largely acknowledged to be batshit fucking insane and capable of razing the county

#yap yap #fma #’ trisha was a good girl ‘ they say ‘ but those kids of hers turned out kinda soft ‘#in the background ed bodily tackles a bull into the pond while al finishes chopping down his fortieth tree of the day

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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 3 years

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Gonna make full use of my ‘comic rant’ tag and roast Future State: Superwoman.

Spoilers! And yelling! Of the disgruntled kind!

So a few things at the start here: 1.) I wanted to love this book. I wanted it to be great. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt, in spite of some iffy stuff in the solicit text. So this rant is not coming from a place of having decided this was going to be awful ahead of time. 2.) My tolerance for bad Supergirl comics is pretty high! Takes a lot for me to actually come out and say that a particular issue is trash. Reader: This story is trash.

It’s not ‘middle-aged white guys writing/drawing a story about sending a minor to a potentially hostile planet fully nude’ trash, mind you. It’s the compost bin, rather than the landfill. Slightly nicer trash, but it still stinks to high heaven. Allow me to expand!

PROLOGUE - SUMMARY: ...I actually can’t summarize this comic b/c it would devolve into a lot of senseless yelling. We’ll just have to tease out this terrible plot as we go along.

PART I - DEAD DOGS TELL BAD TALES: The comic opens with Kara standing at Krypto’s grave. That’s not why this comic is trash, but it bears mentioning. Because why. Why would you do this.

PART II - IN WHICH IT ONLY GETS WORSE: So, Kara has a running inner monologue, and the main thing we gather from Kara’s thoughts is that it was Krypto who taught her to be a hero. On paper, that sounds very sweet! In practice, it reads as Kara having no moral center whatsoever—whatever good qualities she might possess, she did not learn from her parents, or her foster parents, or friends, or fellow heroes. Nor do they come from within Kara herself. Nope, t’was Krypto who taught Kara not to be a jealous rage monster. That is not hyperbole--Kara’s walking around angry about her cousin all the time and she’s like, ‘It was you, Krypto, who taught me not to judge, and to let go of anger.’ Listen, I love Krypto, but this? This is, as the youth would say, a bad look.

PART III - THOSE CERTAINLY ARE...SOME THEMES: The set-up here is that Kara is on the moon, and has established a sanctuary for alien refugees. That’s a dynamite idea! I love that! Buuuuut Kara didn’t look at the plight of alien refugees and say, ‘I want to help!’ Really, she didn’t even look at herself and say, ‘I don’t want others to feel like I’ve felt.’ No, she said, ‘Earth won’t accept me as a hero, and Clark didn’t name me protector of Earth, so. I’m out!’ (Honestly, if your moral compass is so whack that you need a dog to walk you back from Hulk-Smashing...can’t say I blame Clark for not picking you, Kara!) But apparently, the people on the moon don’t really like her either. And it is literally never explained why. There’s a whole montage of Kara fixing stuff and saving lives and all the moon folk just glare at her. This makes both the moon people AND Kara look like a**holes, because they come across as ungrateful, and she comes across as a glory hound. Thanks! I hate it! So the ‘peace’ Kara’s found on the moon isn’t really peaceful at all, cause she still resents her cousin, and people still don’t like her, in spite of the fact that she’s constantly performing acts of service for them.

Also, side note, I’m just now realizing this is an entire population of alien refugees...and Kara is somehow still the odd one out. Like, Earth I get, because everyone else is a human and maybe freaked out by the super powers. But a bunch of aliens? WHY. Why did you do this. Why did this need to be set on the moon with alien refugees if you’re not going to interrogate Kara’s identity as an alien refugee herself AND all of the aliens are inexplicably humanoid in appearance and utterly ordinary in terms of power levels.

Like. This is not the CW show, where they have a budget, and a huge ensemble cast to serve. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. AAARRRRRGHHHH.

PART III CONT’D: There’s also this weird ‘birthright’ element introduced...like, Clark and Jon stole Kara’s ‘right’ to be earth’s defender which is...a terrible reading of Kara’s modern origin. It brings in the idea that Kara is a ‘chosen one’ and because she didn’t get to be that chosen one, all of her hero work is for nothing. Never mind the whole central conceit of what makes Clark and Kara heroic...that they have this incredible power, and choose to do good with it. Nah...it’s all about her ‘right’ to protect the people of Earth! And mean ol’ Clark took that away! THANKS. I HATE IT.

PART IV - A POOR USE OF SPACE: So, all of the Future State books kind of struggle with the issue of too much exposition, which is understandable. They have to introduce an entirely new status quo in a very limited amount of literal page space, so you *really* have to have a handle on how you allocate your time and focus.

Introducing a brand new, lore-heavy heroic character who gets all of the development and dynamic art and pulls focus away from the character you’re meant to be writing is a bad use of a two issue limited series.

Like, this is a crappy Supergirl comic but it’s a great backdoor pilot for a Lynari ongoing, I guess.

Imagine if in the Jon Superman book, they introduced a random, brand new best friend for Jon, and he got the big character arc instead of Jon. That’s something you save for an arc in an ongoing title, NOT A TWO ISSUE EVENT COMIC.

Back to said new character, there’s a lot of forced attempts to parallel Kara and Lynari, but Lynari’s backstory is so confusing, rushed, and poorly explained that it’s like: okay, they’re both...angry? And the moon jerks hate them? ...uh. Okay.

(I’m gonna bring back my ‘why is this set on the moon, even’ question so that my ‘poor use of space’ header becomes a better joke.)

PART V - I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO...B/C THERE SURE AIN’T ONE HERE: I’ve already mentioned that Krypto was apparently Kara’s conscience so when Lynari’s aunt arrives to...kill them? (again, everything about Lynari’s backstory is rushed and poorly explained) Kara gets real mad and basically pulls a Gothel: ‘You want me to be the bad guy? Fine! Now I’m the bad guy.’ But thank goodness Lynari is there to tell Kara no! Don’t murder the giant aunt eel! Lynari then steals Kara’s powers and gives up the swamp jewel that’s been hidden inside their body and now their aunt is less murder-y!

WOW. Couldn’t even give the big damn hero moment to Kara in her own book, huh?

So the day is saved. It takes Kara a while to regain her powers, and it’s only then, when she’s no longer ‘above’ the moon jerks, that they’re like, ‘oh, we like her!’ There is a bit of narration about how that attitude is awful. But that narration is provided by Lynari. See, the inner monologue is no longer Kara’s thoughts, but rather it has switched to Lynari’s point of view. They’re telling us this story. And do you know why?

PART VI - WHY THIS COMIC *SUCKS*: KARA DIES. SHE’S THE FRIGGIN’ ‘SECOND GRAVE’ OF THE TITULAR ‘TWO GRAVES’

Fudge this comic to heck.

See, Kara dies on the moon, presumably of old age. She’s buried next to Krypto. And this random character who we’re suddenly supposed to care about tells us her story. Not Clark. Not the Danvers. Not Brainy. Not even one of the supporting cast members from her solo title. No one from Kara’s life is mentioned at all, save for Jon and Clark, and they’re pretty much relegated to flashbacks of Kara punching them.

PART VII - TIME TO COMPARE DEATHS, I GUESS: First and foremost can I just say that I hate that’s a sentence that I’m typing about Kara in the year of our lord, 2021. But okay: Kara’s big famous death in Crisis stopped the entire DC universe cold. Everyone paused in the middle of the destruction of the multiverse to mourn her loss and honor her (GENUINELY HEROIC) sacrifice. Clark and Barbara--two established characters with a strong connection/relationship to Kara--offered lovely eulogies.

This one: Kara gets to die of old age in obscurity after a lifetime of striving to be recognized and only achieving it by de-powering and serving a population of jerks.

Not the warm and fuzzy ending you think it is!

(Meanwhile, Clark lives for millennia and spawns an entire dynasty of Els, all of ‘em out there, protecting the cosmos. I was looking forward to House of El in the hopes of maybe seeing some Kara stuff but NOPE. Thanks to Superwoman, we’re probably not gonna see any future Kara stuff beyond this! G R E A T)

And like, the argument could be made that this ending makes Kara happy. This is the life she chooses! She wants to be alone and garden on the moon! Except, we get zero insight from Kara regarding the remainder of her life. We only have Lynari’s narration and some montage shots...nearly all of which focus on other characters. But honestly, even if we did get Kara’s side of things, I doubt it would shed much light on her feelings, bEEECAUSE...

PART VIII - SUPER BLAND: This Kara really has no personality outside of ‘detached and vaguely bitter.’ I like Sauvage, I think she’s an incredibly talented artist, but here, Kara is stiff and her expression often reads as aloof. She’s very pretty, but it comes at the expense of being expressive. (And I know Sauvage can do expressive stuff...because Lyanari gets to be expressive.) Like...I love that shojo manga vibe but this is a Kara devoid of spark and warmth.

...Like...Melissa Benoist’s portrayal of Kara is right there...

I’ve already sort of touched on this but her inner monologue doesn’t have much personality either. She’s just parroting the same, ‘I need to do as Krypto taught me!’ nonsense for both issues. Until, of course, we shift to Lynari’s narration, and lose Kara’s thread entirely.

PART IX - LET’S WRAP THIS UP: This book frustrates me to no end because it had a lot of stuff going for it. It’s got a female writer and artist--still a rarity for the Supergirl book--it’s a limited series mostly free of continuity and character baggage, and it’s not tied down to the grimdark cyberpunk stuff happening in the Gotham books. YOU COULD’VE DONE ANYTHING. And, once again, DC goes with a pitch that’s: Kara is angry, Kara resents Clark...and Kara dies.

It’s also happening...right as Kara has no dedicated ongoing title, the movie’s been shelved, the TV show is entering its sixth and final season, and all promotion has shifted to new CW and HBO shows.

*screams into the void*

MAAAAAAN I hate this book. I hate that it retroactively makes me hate the Andreyko run a little bit--a run that I took to be about a traumatized young woman forced to confront her grief, and who leans on a beloved animal companion for comfort. Here, Krypto is L I T E R A L L Y the reason Kara’s not constantly frying folks with her heat vision.

I hate that this book has made me use the word ‘literally’ so much in this rant.

I hate that this could possibly be more in continuity than Millennium.

Remember Millennium? Where Kara was in like...five pages? And she was warm, and kind, and promised to help Rose because it was the right thing to do, and oh yes, WAS PRESIDENT OF EARTH?!??! AND A CLASSY OLD LADY!?!?!?!?! WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AND KICKIN’ IN THE FAR FLUNG FUTURE!?!?!?!?!

I hate that I’m using my lunch hour to rant about how much I hate this comic.

I hate that DC editorial seems hell-bent on erasing the interesting aspects of Kara’s character to sand her down to ‘the angry one’ or ‘Batman 2.0′

PART X - LET’S END ON SOME (?) POSITIVES: Don’t read this book! Don’t do it! Don’t waste your time and money!

Instead, check out ANYTHING ELSE. If you want mom!Kara, read Tom Taylor’s ‘Last Daughters of Krypton’ in the DC Nuclear Winter special. If you want heroic oldlady!Kara, read Millennium. Honestly? Pick up anything by Bendis that has Supergirl in it. It is miles away better than this. You want angry Kara working through her grief? Andreyko, Red Lantern, even Infected. ANYTHING BUT THIS. HECK, grab Superman of Metropolis instead! That has bad Kara characterization but at least she doesn’t end up dead.

Anyways. This comic is bad. I wish it wasn’t! And this is now the SECOND TIME IN A ROW that Kara’s book ends on a terrible note before the character disappears from monthly comics for an unknown period of time.

*screams into the void again*

#SG post #future state #future state superwoman #comic rant #and oh it is a RANT

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halfwaythereroyalwrites · 4 years

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Destressing (Steve Rogers x Filipina!Reader Kilig One-Shot)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Filipina!Reader

Warnings: SMUT. Unprotected sex (wrap it up in real life, but this is fiction sooo). Oral (M! Receiving). Fingering. Spitting. Rough. Possible secondhand embarrassment or stress. It’s a lot.

Word count: 2k+

Summary: Filipinx parties can be a lot, and Steve helps you destress before getting ready.

Kilig is a Tagalog word to describe the feeling of excitement and exhilaration and possibly embarrassment from anything remotely romantic.

Masterlist

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The continuous pitter-patter of the locker room shower was echoing off the walls. It seemed the world was against you that day. Meetings ran late. People kept cornering you with questions. Your damn badge inexplicably stopped working resulting in a lengthy visit to IT. All of this misfortunate happenings added to the anxiety you were feeling about tonight: the night Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, would finally meet your family. Unfortunately, the invite was late. Late as in — you found out this morning. The reason for the party escaped your mind. Your family finds any excuse to throw a party, and now that they know you had finally snagged a boyfriend — especially one that is a national hero — they were really eager to finally meet him.

Surprisingly, Steve took the last-minute plans in stride despite your very frantic announcement, with you aggressively cornering Steve after a briefing and rambling at 100 miles an hour about a party at Tita Maria’s house. He was already dressed by the time you had to leave. You, on the other hand, decided to stay and workout in the gym instead before going home, trying desperately to rid your body of anxiety.

“Doll, we’re gonna be late. We still have to head home before going to your folks’ place.”

The squeak of the shower being turned off made Steve quietly sigh in relief. You appeared in front of him, wrapped in a towel, and dripping water all over the floor.

“First off, being late is fine. It’d actually be pretty weird if we showed up on time,” you explained, opening your locker and sorting through your clean clothes. “Second, I hate going to these things. They’re gonna love you. You’re their ideal man, but I am never going to hear the end of it! ‘Did you gain weight?’ ‘Did you get darker?’ ‘So when are you getting married?’ UGH! I hate these things,” you were visibly seething by the end of your rant. You plopped down on to the bench next to Steve who brought your head closer to place a kiss on your temple.

“Well I hope I’m your ideal man too, doll,” Steve mused.

“Of course you are. I just don’t like coming around there,” you pouted at Steve, placing your hand on his thigh.

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be,” Steve offered. You couldn’t help but scoff at Steve’s naiveté. He’ll never know the level of mind games these parties require, and the very thought of going wound your muscles as tight as a vice.

“Babe, you have no idea how Filipino families can be. It’s Game of Thrones but with brown people and better food,” you quipped. Your hand massaged the sizable knot forming on your shoulder. Steve took notice and gently pushed your hand away, massaging the knot himself while you closed your eyes and leaned against him. “I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, doll,” Steve comforted. Damn it. This man was too perfect to be true. You had been bugging him all day about how you were dreading seeing your relatives, and yet here he was, patient and perfect, as ever. You kissed his cheek in response.

“Steve…” You trailed kisses from his cheek to his perfectly-cut jawline to his neck.

“Uh…ye-yes, doll?” Steve croaked out, his eyes closing at the feeling of you placing open-mouthed kisses on his neck.

“Can you help me calm down?”

“Ye-yeah what do you…mmmgghh,” Steve groaned mid-question as your hand made its way onto his groin, massaging his dick through his jeans. His head knocked back in pleasure — a low growl emanating from his throat. You whimpered at Steve’s hand stopping you from feeling him. “We’re going to be late. Anyone could walk in right now.” Your hand continued grinding against Steve’s growing arousal. You nipped at his earlobe before whispering into his ear.

“Makes this all the more…exciting, doesn’t it?” As graceful as you could, you got up from the bench and stood in front of him. “Steve, trust me. We got time.” You dropped your towel, got on your knees, and caressed his thighs — glancing up at him through your eyelashes.

“You’re killing me, doll.” Smirking, your fingers made quick work of unbuttoning and sliding his jeans and underwear off of his muscular legs. You took his half-erect cock in your hands, pumping a few times before licking a hot stripe up the big vein on the underside. Steve took his shirt off. His hand gripped a fistful of your hair. His head knocked back, eyes closed in ecstasy at your actions, and a low groan rumbled from his chest. A couple drops of pre-cum dripped out of the tip of his cock. Your thumb circled around the tip, kissing and softly sucking. You started licking and sucking on his balls, hand still pumping his length, making more pre-cum drip out of his sensitive tip. Steve had his eyes locked on you, and yours on him. You licked up the large protruding vein before spitting on his cock and quickly taking his length in your mouth.

“…fuuckk,” Steve whispered. The power you felt from the sight of his head knocking back in pleasure and his whispered cursing was indescribable. His hands held your hair and guided you up and down his pulsing cock. His mouth was agape, in awe of the pleasure you were giving him. Your hand was pumping whatever you couldn’t take in your mouth. Your moans of pleasure would shoot the most delicious vibrations down his cock which would make Steve groan in response, gripping your hair tighter and whispering your name over and over again, pleading with you not to stop. The throbbing sensation in your pussy was becoming unbearable, and you used your free hand to rub circles around your swollen clit, quickly coating your hand in your own arousal.

Each small pang of pleasure from your own hand made you moan on Steve’s cock. Steve gently thrust his hips up and pushed your head down, urging you to take him deep into your throat. Bracing your hands on his thighs, you gladly obliged, letting his dick slide past the back of your throat. He moved your head up and down slightly, the salacious sounds of you sucking and choking on his big dick echoing in the empty locker room, making you wetter and Steve groan louder. He pulled you off his cock, breathing hard at the sight of you, mouth and chin dripping wet with pre-cum and spit. You traced some off your chin and licked your fingers, keeping your eyes firmly locked on him. Steve roughly grabbed your jaw and kissed you, wasting no time slipping his tongue in your mouth, tasting the remnants of himself.

“Get up,” Steve growled. As soon as you got off your knees, he pulled you on top of him, your knees resting on either side of his hips, his mouth placing open-mouthed kisses on the base of your neck. His arm was around your waist, keeping you pinned to him, while his hand groped and teased your breast. He trailed down to your other breast, switching between sucking, licking, nipping, tugging, and teasing. The way he switched between your breasts. The way he would lick and grope and nip and…God, this man was going to be the end of you. Your hand was tangled in his hair, and you couldn’t help but mirror Steve’s earlier actions and knock your head back at the sensation of his mouth on your tits. “Look at me.”

You stared into his eyes that were now seemingly dark in a lust-ridden haze. His large hands gripped your hips before pushing you down to grind on his hard cock. A loud moan escaped your throat, eyes closing at the delicious friction he provided. “No,” he grunted. “Keep your eyes on me. I wanna see your face as you grind on my cock.” His hand gripped your hair as your hips were grinding on him; his groans deep and guttural, stirring your arousal even more.

“Steve, I can’t-I can’t take it anymore. Please,” you pleaded with him, your hips moving faster against his cock.

“Please, what? Use your words, doll. Tell me what you want.” His fingers started circling your clit, heightening your pleasure and making you lose your breath. He dipped his fingers into your soaked cunt, coating his fingers in your arousal. He thrust his curved fingers in you a few times, softly stroking a spot that made you roll your eyes back in pleasure. He pulled his fingers out and licked them, never letting his gaze break from yours.

“Agh! Fu-fuck, Steve…I want your cock in me, please,” you pleaded with him. Steve lined his erection up to your pussy and slowly thrust inside, letting you adjust to his length. You moaned at the sinful, sensual stretch of your pussy as Steve’s cock bottomed out. You moved your hips up and down, slowly, before picking up the pace. Steve gripped his hands on your hips, watching you in awe, slightly helping you up and down as you rode him. Your fingers tightly wound into his hair and gripped his neck for support. He whispered sweet nothings to you, as you repeatedly slammed your hips down onto his, reveling in the pleasure and heat of the moment.

Steve’s patience ran out and eagerly took back control. He gripped your hips and roughly thrust into you at a fast-paced, almost brutally satisfying way. You couldn’t help the strangled cry that escaped your treat at the raw ecstasy overtaking every inch of your body. His fingers started circling your clit, tightening the coil of your pending orgasm. “Holy shit! Fuck Steve! I’m so close. So close. Steve. Steve. Steve please…ah…ah…fuck…oh mY GOD STEVE!” You collapsed on his chest, shaking from the intensity of your orgasm. Steve’s arms circled around you, groaning at the feeling of your dripping pussy convulsing around his cock. He stroked your hair and rubbed your back as he waited for you to stop shaking, peppering your face with light kisses, whispering about how beautiful you look and how good you are doing. When your body had calmed down, Steve locked your lips into a passionate kiss. His lips moved against yours in a dance you knew all too well but could never get enough of. He pulled away and held your face in his hands. His thumbs caressing your cheeks, and your hands resting on his forearms. Steve took a moment to study you. Your pupils were dilated. Lips puffy. Your chest was still slightly heaving up and down, trying to calm down from your high. He placed a sweet peck on your lips and whispered

“You ok?” You bit your lip and nodded. There was no end to how perfect this man is. And he was yours. Steve Rogers was yours. He pulled you flush against him in an embrace. His deep, lust-ridden voice muttered into your ear. “My turn.”

To your surprise, Steve got up, keeping your body against his and slammed you against the lockers, being careful not to hurt you. You broke out into a fit of giggles before getting the breath knocked out of you from being pushed against the lockers. Steve adjusted your legs so that they encircled his hips, locking him in a vice grip. Steve groaned before thrusting his hips into yours at a rapid pace, gripping your hips. His hot breath fanning all over you as you clung onto him, lost in how fucking hot Steve was making you feel. Once again, you felt the tightening coil of your pending orgasm. “Steve, baby please. I’m so cl-close. Agh…agh…fuck!” Your breath was coming in short pants. Your nails dug into his shoulders. You screamed. Unfettered. Loud. Raw. You felt your orgasm wash over you in sweet, suffocatingly satisfying relief. Steve’s thrusts started losing their rhythm as your cunt convulsed around him. His breaths coming in hot, short pants now as well. He slammed his hips into yours, bottoming out, before pushing you against the lockers, making a loud slam that reverberated in the empty locker room. The intensity of his orgasm led to strangled, low groans by your ear, and his closed fist banged against the locker — the combined sounds making you moan. You felt his cum start to drip out of your pussy and onto your inner thighs. He thrust his cock in you a couple more times, bottoming out each time, before pulling out and setting your feet down on the ground.

You clung onto Steve for support, not trusting the strength of your legs. Steve picked up the towel you had dropped earlier and wiped you down, making sure to be gentle around your sensitive nub. “Ever the gentleman,” you quipped, grinning. Steve smirked at your smart comment, placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Ready to go now, doll?” Steve asked.

“Yes, I am,” you smiled. “But first, we have to shower.”

______________________________________

Masterlist

Requested by: @svetlana-beilschmidt

A/N: Let me know what you think and/or if you want to be added to my taglist!

Taglist: @peppermintvanillaa @fantasticcopeaglepasta @multifandomlife22 @thottiewinemom @princeabomination @svetlana-beilschmidt

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livlepretre · 3 years

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if you were rewriting the klaroline relationship for some reason, how would you do it and what would you change? I got to thinking and I feel like klaroline could've been such an incredible ship, if there just weren't so many weird decisions made in writing it.

I feel like I transcended when I read this, because, WOW do I have a lot to say on this topic.

The thing about Klauroline is that it actually makes no sense whatsoever, and a lot of that is that the writing around it was super weird, like you said. But also that they were an unlikely couple to begin with... let’s look at why:

Klaus. We have absolutely no indication from his backstory that he had ever been seriously romantically involved with anyone, other than Tatia Petrova and, in a darker turn, Katerina Petrova. In fact, given his “love is a vampire’s greatest weakness” rant in 1492, we can understand him as a creature who scorns romantic love. We can probably extrapolate that this has to do with the emotional scarring from the fallout with Tatia, followed by him hardening his heart against Katerina so that he could eventually murder the mirror image of his original love. Interesting stuff. But that means that we are set up to believe that Klaus doesn’t fall in love. That he’s even specifically set against it.

Meanwhile, we know why Caroline is great: she’s a creature of extraordinary contradictions. Loving and yet starved for love. Popular and yet incredibly insecure about her friendships. Neurotic while also aware that her neuroses push people away. An over-achiever who never feels good enough. Low, low self-esteem, that only starts to improve once she actually becomes a vampire and finds some autonomy in her life (I would say this starts when she tricks Katherine into the death trap in 2x07-- that spark of joy that she actually did it).

But none of this precludes the fact that Caroline is ultimately just a teenaged girl. And Klaus is just a horrible monster. There’s no reason for Klaus to ever look twice at her, when she’s one of thousands of young pretty vampires he’s met over his life, and nothing specifically special on the surface, and no reason for Caroline to get over the fact that he’s the monster who murdered Jenna, hunted and murdered Elena, attempted to murder Bonnie, and oh yes, also tried to use her and Tyler in that same sacrifice. Oh, and then murdered Tyler right in front of her, and continued to generally terrorize everyone she loves.

And the thing is, none of this would have mattered, and all of this could have been dealt with with a few simple changes!

First thing’s first: there needed to be an actual situation where the two of them were FORCED to see each other differently.

In the show, Klaus suddenly and inexplicably notices Caroline when he arbitrarily decides to save her from Tyler’s werewolf bite (which was his fault??). Caroline is basically flattered enough that she puts aside the awful stuff Klaus had already done. This is a major disservice to both characters. It portrays Klaus as weirdly romantic and pathetic in a dimension he most definitely is not (he’s pathetic in a million other ways, but not in a soft mushy way-- he’s more, isn’t it so pathetic that he’s too much of a coward to love?) and, even worse, it expects us to accept that Caroline actually doesn’t care all that much about her loved ones, because a hot powerful guy can turn her head and she can basically abandon all ties of loyalty to her friends. Okay.

So picture this instead: the two of them are thrown against their will into some sort of life or death situation where they can only depend upon each other for an extended period of time-- hours, days, however long it takes. This gives them an opportunity to overcome the problems they have with each other, and see each other in a totally new light. Klaus actually sees the best of Caroline as an individual-- her heart, her resourcefulness, her determination, her canniness-- all of the things that would separate her in his mind from every other random teenaged girl and set her out like a blazing star in his mind. Maybe she comes up with the plan that saves them. Maybe she’s the brave one between the two of them. Something. And meanwhile, Caroline actually gets to know the man behind the monster-- she sees his weaknesses, but because of her empathy, she understands them as very human weaknesses. She pities him... but she also relates to him. The heightened situation leads to heightened emotions. They don’t come out of this experience in love or even consciously attracted to each other... but they come out of it understanding each other, and being aware of each other in ways they never had been before.

From there, the relationship could develop more organically. Caroline would feel guilty about siding with her friends over killing Klaus, because she knows him too well to feel good about having a hand in his death. Maybe she would even consider warning him. Begging him to just leave. (And of course he won’t, because he still wants to use Elena, and the fact that he’s doing that to one of her best friends only makes it harder for Caroline because suddenly she can no longer cast Klaus as her villain).

Klaus would try to keep Caroline out of his various plots. It would actually make sense that they would have their dance in 3x14, but instead of it being Klaus outright romantically pursuing Caroline with lame horse girl drawings, it could be more like: they end up spending the evening together because they keep inevitably falling into each other’s company. Klaus is lonely. Caroline is sad after Tyler leaves, and mad at Klaus for being the reason he left, but also: he’s the person she somehow feels like she can talk to.

And maybe things keep escalating. Slowly. Slowly. Drip. Drip. Drip. It’s not about an overt romance, it’s about this energy and tension slowly building between the two of them, so that by the end of season 3, when Klaus saves Caroline first and then goes to save Elena, we realize that he’s in love with Caroline. That he’s chosen her first.

And that when Caroline says “I know you’re in love with me” in season 4, it’s a HUGE moment because by voicing it, she’s really admitting that she’s going to have to act, one way or the other. And when Klaus tells her “I will be your last love” it might actually come across as something honest, and yearning, and hopeful.

Basically, I think that the romance should have been way slower and way throttled down. It made absolutely no sense for Klaus to fall head over heels for anyone, but especially for Caroline whom he didn’t seem to be able to pick out of a crowd until suddenly he was into her. It made no sense for Caroline to fall for Klaus at all, because it implied that she’s really shallow in ways we know she’s not. So. Let it be slow. Let it build from a moment of unexpected clarity between them. Seeing each other with new eyes. Let them fall together naturally. And for God’s sake, don’t draw horse pictures or lend her prom dresses!

#anonymous

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problematicwelshman · 4 years

Text

The following ask was sent in several parts and is compiled under the cut. Please be aware the subject matter and topic/themes are extremely sensitive and can be upsetting to some. I pride myself on being a blog for the minority fandom to express their thoughts and opinions and didn’t feel right not posting this on behalf of whoever sent it. Reader discretion is advised.

A bit of a long rant/concern ask here. It relates to the solid comments made by MANY about MS mental state, and I'm curious what you & others think. A major entertainment milestone this past week was the death of Michael's countryman, Terry Jones. Actually, it's weird that MS has not commented on it himself more publicly. Gaiman, many of his peers reacted. KB posted on IG about it. Jones was a legend of Wales and his death lit up the twittersphere this past week. TJ died from FTD. I would be lying if I said it didn't completely freak me out. Why? Because of some weird parallels that stand out. TJ was a Welshman in his 50s who inexplicably ran off with a 23/24 year-old Swedish "performer"/?actress named Anna of all things & had a baby girl - all to the shock & horror of family/friends. It was a total 180, out of character. Ended up estranged from his older kids for a while b/c of it. But in less than a decade he'd be diagnosed with FTD dementia. TJ's kind of FTD was reported as a form with changes in behavior and conduct as the earliest signs. Often in the 5-10 years before anyone knows the issue, there are behaviors, problems in personal/sexual conduct that come as a total shock to ppl who've known the victim a long time - but they didn't know what it was really pointing to at first. I’m NOT saying something like this is going on with MS, but I AM worried - Im a worrier by nature, can't help it. Part of me feels sick that all this- the shocking mess with Anna, getting "sloppy", oops pregnancy, conflict/estrangement with LS/KB, inappropriate behavior with young twitfans, increasing "feralness" - could be like Jones. Just the leading edge of what in a few years may be obvious to everyone as some kind of behavioral dementia. Honestly it has me so scared for him. It's incredible to say this but I'd rather he be on drugs, depressed or just a plain cheater jerk than have it be something like what happened to poor Terry.

TL; DR - All the AL/baby/feral twitter mess could really mean something is very wrong with Michael's brain. Hope I'm wrong but kind of scared. End.

-----------------------------------------------

AW: I actually don’t know enough about this topic or Terry or Monty Python to comment about it honestly. I went ahead and asked @ingravinoveritas what her thoughts were because she actually brought up a similar point RE: Michael’s silence about Terry’s passing a few days ago. With her consent, she gave me the following statement:

There are some valid points, yes. But I'd say that where the behavior might've been out of character for Terry, it may not be so for Michael. We know very little about his dating history beyond the public relationships he's had. How he conducts himself in private. Michael may not have said anything about Terry because he doesn't want to draw attention to some of those parallels. But Terry Jones also married his Anna and seemed to revel in his new life, where Michael seems reluctant, unhappy, even regretful for the situation he's in and that he is trying to make the best of right now. I'd also say that it's difficult to make determinations about someone's mental or physical health from this distance. That even though we feel like we have this insight into Michael from Twitter, it is truly only a tiny sliver of his whole self. What this all may be is nothing more than a midlife crisis, which he has to handle and cope with himself and hopefully with the help of people in his life who love him and can provide support. If there is anything going on beyond that, that is a private matter that is really only his and his family's business, and speculating on it will only make everyone's anxieties worse. Michael's situation is rather different. Alison, Terry’s first wife, was also the mother of Terry’s older children. Technically he had primary progressive aphasia, which affected his speech/ability to write. We also have to remember that people make choices. Sometimes it's not a condition or a sudden shift in personality due to some underlying illness. It's just that person's choice, that they have made for themselves in their own lives, for whatever reason.

We also have to remember that Michael is a man, and the only brain he might be having problems with is the one not on top of his shoulders. Terry Jones has also been categorized by the other Pythons as the Python who probably had the most sex. So his ending up with Other Anna may not be as out of character as one might think.

#Anonymous #ask compilation #tw: dementia #tw: mental disorder

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wingsporkhalo · 4 years

Text

He’s Mine: A BakuDeku Fic Spork- Chapter 2

Here I am with chapter 2 of this mess!! For those of you who are new, I read a terrible My Hero Academia fanfiction and made funny commentary on it with some good buddies. Chapter 1 is here! https://wingsporkhalo.tumblr.com/post/190957730961/hes-mine-a-bakudeku-fic-spork-chapter-1

Support me on Patreon! I am poor!! https://www.patreon.com/WingSongHalo And check out my YouTube channel, where you can see video sporks!! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTMFf7W6SyWoZdpqY9ZdPw/

Last time, the story started in the middle of an inexplicable fight, Izuku gave Shoto his phone number and had multiple houses, and Katsuki told Izuku he doesn’t want Izuku to call anyone by their first name but him! Because being controlling is romantic, right?? (Sarcasm.)

In today’s chapter, Katsuki attempts to confess his “love,” Izuku is forced to dress as a girl, Shoto kidnaps Izuku, I rant about people uke-fying my favorite characters, and Kirishima offers some terrible advice!

Special thanks to my dear friends @the-wizard-l, @kittykatz009, @satsuneade, and Phos for co-commentating!

Without further ado, let’s move ahead to Chapter 2!

My friend Phos: It’s reviewing the same stuff!!! What?? Me: but Phos!! This time it's in a different Point of View, though you'd never know that from the lack of detail!!

Um what am I doing here .

[sigh] I ask myself that every day, sonny

Why dose? Uh, because it keeps you from taking too much medication?

Why dose my chest feel weird when I see deku with half'n'half.

Uhhh... maybe you know he's lactose intolerant and you're concerned for him as a friend? ....naaahhh

Phos: “Damed nerd” Me: I mean, from what i know of Bakugou's character, he always instantly regrets talking to Izuku Why would he be stuttering in his own head??! Also, what the fuck is damhed? Is it like being a shithead, but less profane?? Disided. Uhhhh... I guess that's when... something has two sides? I guess??

After I payed for the thing I wanted,

God this detail!! I'm so moved!!

Why was Izuku just running around? Was he late? I thought you were 10 minutes early?

I catched up to him

Sure. With your umbrella? Were you using it to travel like fucking Mary Poppins??

“Ahh” he said falling on the wet ground

I love how unemotional that is.

"DEKU HEAR" --the sound of me being completely out of character? Oh yes. I hear it

Wh--? What bottom of his uniform was he grabbing? I??? I hope you mean like the edge of the blazer?? My friend Jaz: Bottom of his shoes Phos: Bottom of the uniform might mean bottom of the pant leg— Oh Me: I mean, valid interpretations all of them, but it really sounds like he's grabbing ass if you just say "the bottom of his uniform" because that's... where the bottom is... moving on.

I don't get it. Has Bakugou supposedly found Izuku's stare cute this whole time, or is this a recent thing? It's so outside the realm of possibility that it's not computing

We walked to school together.

Oh my, how exciting! I wondered what was going to happen next!! And you told it so efficiently, with as few words as possible! Bravo!!

So like, WERE you getting closer or did it just FEEL like you were?

I feel like if their faces ever touched, reality would just collapse in on itself because the laws of nature would be violated

(either that or it would have to be a "one of them literally fell from a great distance onto the other one" situation)

(Which I guess isn't too far fetched since they get thrown around a lot)

Again the damh nerd is here.

Did I say something wrong?

SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU EVER CARED???

Ohhhhkay I'm just. So confused. WHY is Bakugou suddenly aware of his "feelings," WHY is he suddenly so much nicer, and WHY is he just deciding all of a sudden to confess his love?? That's the kind of thing you WRESTLE with, if you accidentally fall in love with the dude you've hated for like 11 of your 15 years of life!! My friend Wiz, evidently affected by the reality-warping powers of this fic: jhwbebhjfewjhbwfjh

Uh why did he have to come at a time like this.

B... because the bell is going to ring?...

Wow, I wish I could communicate entire sentences with just my face. Seems like a useful talent. Maybe that guy in class 1-B with the speech bubble for a head would be best at that

"Kacchan here" Why yes, he is here. Not sure why the sudden caveman-speak, though

Then half'n'half went of with my deku

[sits there staring at nothing for 5 seconds] [shakes self] Sorry I was just reeling at the sheer ridiculousness of everything about that sentence

I felt kind of bad leaving kacchan behind.

Then it just transitions to the next scene because fuck internal monologue I guess Jaz: When did he become Your Deku? Me: THEIR TEACHER NEVER SHOWED UP??? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO AIZAWA??? Also, wouldn't it naturally fall to Iida to take over and decide their next course of action, as class rep? Why are the girls all hijacking the class??? Jaz: They hogtied Iida, of course Me: They're putting their names on a stick... oh god... tHEY'RE ORGANIZING A DEATH TOURNAMENT "Deku come with me" "I'd love to but that's not the pairing of this fic" Jaz: Dhdududidifhf

I love how Izuku has no agency in this fic; he just goes with whoever and does whatever, helpless against the whims of those around him. And by love, I mean hate. I fucking hate that.

Uh *sigh*

Wow that's a mood. Jaz: Wtf is even going on Me: lskjdlkksjdf Not that Izuku wouldn't dress up as a girl if someone told him to, but I think he'd usually at least like a reason for it "Izuku the All Might Cheer Squad is missing a member; could you sub in?" "[throws everything off his desk and stands up at once] I've been waiting for this moment" My friend Satsu, just arriving: Finally caught up and I'm CACKLING Me: Somebody get Ochaco to Recovery Girl!! She's taken a blow to the face and there is BLEEDING aH THANK U SATSU <3 Satsu: HI MOM, ((note: my server calls me Mom. LOL)) lol this is so bad 😂 😂 Wiz: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE JHBDJBH Me: Honestly, I think Izuku would be dreadfully embarrassed if everyone stared at him no matter WHAT he was wearing Satsu: Yeah but like, why uraraka suddenly dressed him like that??? What is the thinking process that that would be okay in the school omg Me: “Why would you do this to me uraraka-san“ Wiz: I’m crying Me: "Look, it was in my contract that I had to appear in 50 badfics a week. I'm sorry, Deku" "[hangs his head] No that's fair"

Satsu, didn't you know?? This is just what happens when the teacher doesn't show up Satsu: Aw damn, if I knew ;-;

Wiz: I am. So confused wjhbfe Satsu: They all ran of Me: he stoped, but I can't.

Then I ran of

It was a run of girlishness and embarrassment, I'm guessing. Did they all say the slashes, or? Jaz: Did Todoroki just kidnap Deku? Wiz: These things happen Satsu: Oh dear, the last sentence My eyes Me:

Izuku ran of

--Shame and frilliness--

Mabey we went to far

"Sorry, I can't go with you this weekend. Mah bae and I are going to far." "To where?" "Far. It's this restaurant across town" Wiz: jhwbewehbj Me: What the--why was Izuku running for his life? WHAT DID HE DO Shoto: [pushes Izuku] Izuku: thank you! Shoto: uh... s-sure... should I be concerned that you just thanked me for shoving you Izuku: Probably! Wiz: MOOD Satsu: Kdbdkdbfkjf Me: What the--why's Shoto rubbing Izuku's head? Is it a good luck ritual or has Izuku turned into a puppy? Wait, no, he still has hands. I'M CONFUSED Phos: I still don’t understand the dress and wig.Well, girls uniform. Satsu: You’re not alone with that lol Me: Look, sometimes ya see an adorable messy-haired befreckled shonen protagonist and ur just overwhelmed with the desire to see him in drag....... I guess? Phos: I mean Yeah that sounds exactly like what this fic is doing Me: It sounds to me like they wanted to write moments where Shoto and Katsuki would get to interact with Izuku while he's a delicate, soft little maiden [rolls eyes] Wiz: :’)) Me: STOP UKE-FYING MY IZUKU, YOU FETISHIST Satsu: They always do that to my dear main characters :( Me: Me pulling these badfic authors up by their collar: listen here you yaoi sluts... my son Izuku is more manly than 90 other shonen protagonists put together... Jaz: Omggggg WING Phos: "yaoi sluts" I will never have a chance to use that and man I’m upset about that Satsu: Heck yeah! Me: LSJKFLKSDJ PHOS Satsu: MOOD Phos: I’m not in a lot of fandoms where yaoi is the norm in badfic! Me: Really? It kind of seems like it's the norm in every fandom nowadays. Look I love a lot of slash pairings, but yaoi I have a problem with. Yaoi is fetishization, yaoi is semes and ukes and one of them has to be "the girl" essentially and it's gross Phos: Agreed! Me: ANYWHO [steps off my soapbox] Wiz, a bit behind on the messages: YAOI SLUTS JHBFJHF

No body saw him, but several pairs of eyes did. Three of them were Shoji's. Wiz: Wing I love you Me:

Something told me he went out side

Was the something lazy writing? I LOVE U TOO WIZ <3 <3 <3 Satsu: It's cracking me uo that it says "Bakago P. O. V" Me: Does... does this person honestly think that's how you spell "damn"? I... wh? The kinds of mistakes this person is making are not really things I see from people who speak English as a second language--tenses are more or less usually correct, etc--so I'm just. How. How do you get it wrong that many times

"Ahh" I heard someone screaming

Really? Cuz when you write it like that it looks more like what you'd say while sinking into a hot bath after a long day. Satsu: Wait, didn't Todoroki kidnap him? Where did he go? Phos: He’s been consumed by the love triangle void Satsu: He just vanished lol Me: Yeah he was like "finally, my Love Interest™️ is in drag, so I must make the most of this and Romance him" and fucked the hell off dragging poor Izuku with him Satsu: LMAO PHOS Me: SLAKFJDLKJ PHOS Phos: bows Thank you Me:

It was Deku being chased by boys

The Izuku Midoriya tag on pixiv, basically

I picked up deku and put him over my shoulder.

This is the second BakuDeku fic I've seen where Bakugou throws Izuku over his shoulder like a goddamn bag of potatoes and it's portrayed as Romantic. Wiz: w h y Satsu: I'm still wondering, is this supposed to be BakuDeku or TodoDeku? Or both????? Phos: Both, I think Me: I think it’s both, yeah Satsu: Aw, dang. My poor baby. :( Phos: I’d bet real money this doesn’t end properly, like it’s not finished Me: yeah the story is technically called "he's Mine! (tododeku kacdeku) (boku no hero academia)" Satsu: Kfbdkfjf jf Wiz: Oh joy Me: which, like, first off, who the FUCK calls it Kacdeku? I'm pretty sure I heard my cat say that while throwing up once Wiz: gfthghuji Phos: Adobe (That was a corrected keysmash) Satsu: I was about to say about kacdeku veing a very weird ship name lol Ah fuck, I always end up changing one letter or eating a whole word Me: "ADOBE" IS THE BEST KEYSMASH LSKJDKFSL mkay SO I don't think Bakugou would literally kill those boys, but he would definitely threaten it Also, how is Izuku supposed to get changed? Did he bring his other clothes with him??

Phos: BOLD ITALIC AUTHORS NOTE Wiz: jhbjhbjhk Me: I... guess he had his uniform? ALSO YES, ONE OF MY FAVORITES, DEFS A SQUARE ON MY BADFIC BINGO Phos:

Or ... fuck him

Wow I hate this Me: I do not remember Bakugou ever looking like a lost cat, nor do I think a lost cat is a very good descriptor because cats just kinda hide or come up to people and yell when they're lost. ...Actually that second one does describe Bakugou; never mind. Katsukitty "ALL THEM BOYS" SHEEEEE-OOOT! IZUKU DONE GOT HIMSELF A HUMDINGER OF A SOUTHERN ACCENT, NOW, AHYUH-HYUH!!! I walked on a head? Wow, that takes talent. Most people use their feet but I guess if you wanna be Extra

I all ways want to force him

I mean, there are a lot of ways; do you really have to want all of them?

to force him agents a wall

Whoa, what? Where did these agents come from?? Are they investigating Todoroki's sudden disappearance?? Satsu: In which universe Bakugo is nicer with Deku more than with Kirishima Me:

and kiss him passionately

jfc. I just... hhhh. No.

Or... fuck him

Yeah that's about right. Katsuki: [thinks of Deku] well, fuck him :\ Satsu: LMAO LFBFKFHFKFB Phos: Scbsbsfddb Me: Also, Satsu, you summoned my favorite rocky cinnamon roll

Satsu: Also I don't remember what part of season 3 are you refering to dear author lol JUST, PLEASE STOP WITH THE DAMH ALREADY Phos: What even is that page.... Me: So I guess I should be surprised that Kirishima is just suddenly here, but considering he seems to follow Bakugou everywhere, I'm not.

"I've seen you with midoria and I thought I could help"

What's midoria? Is it a medical condition? "Man, I came down with a nasty case of midoria. I was in the bathroom like seven times last night" If that's the case, Kirishima could help by just giving him some Pepto. Satsu: Kdbejqhevjdvfjd Wiz: pfffft Me:

"Well for one change your..."

Mind? Clothes? Tires once every four years or 10,000 miles? Satsu: Your brain cells!??? Me:

"well be less angry and more happy with him"

WOW!! STARTLINGLY ASTUTE ADVICE!! IF ONLY SOMEONE COULD HAVE PINPOINTED BEFORE WHY THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO STRAINED!! YOU DOIN' THE LORD'S WORK, AUTHOR!! Phos: Adsvads Me:

"Are you telling me to change who I am!!"

"Well... yeah, kinda. I mean, I love ya, bro, but your attitude kinda sucks." "........Okay, fair"

"Unless you want him to be with todoroki!?"

Uhhh, does what Izuku wants factor into this at ALL, or...? Also, sure, if someone doesn't like you, just change who you are! Works every time, at least until you forget which version of yourself you were using with each person!! Wiz: yaaaaaaaaayyyy Me:

Damh him

Uhhh... okay. [points to self] Wing, me.

"Fine I'll change but only when I'm around deku!"

Sure! Sounds like the basis of a healthy relationship! (: The last decade of abuse doesn't matter!! Wiz: :')))))

===========================================================

AND THAT IS ALL FOR CHAPTER 2! Next time, Shoto makes terrible jokes and lies to Izuku’s mother, Izuku and Shoto go on a date, and our helpless damsel protagonist gets attacked by a villain!! Next post will be up very soon! Thanks for reading <33333

#badfic #bad fanfiction #wingsporkhalo #hes mine #my hero academia #bnha #fanfiction spork

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gerryconway · 5 years

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Burton's Revenge.

After a miserable time at the movies last night, I've come to the conclusion that Tim Burton's grim and joyless "Dumbo" is an auteur triumph.

SPOILERS AHEAD. (Though for this movie, "spoiler" is descriptive as well as a warning label.)

I don't recommend "Dumbo," but I admire it. Burton has accomplished something almost startling with this film: he's made a movie that is about as unsubtle a "f**k you" to both his corporate sponsors and the audience as one could get without actually superimposing "F*CK YOU!" on every frame. Contempt for Disney and for the audience that gobble up the company's live action remakes of classic animated films oozes from every shot, every scene, and in particular, from the entire second half of the movie. If some films are a love letter, this is hate mail. Tim Burton clearly hates how Disney is exploiting the animated films he cherished as a child, and "Dumbo" is his bitter revenge.

Why am I sure "Dumbo" is the angry vision of a furious auteur and not a well-meaning misfire? Because I respect Tim Burton as a filmmaker too much to believe this movie isn't exactly what he wanted it to be.

Burton has been making films for thirty-five years, and though the films he's made lately haven't been quite as quirky and strange as his earlier movies, they still display the control of a man who knows what he wants to achieve, and how to achieve it. You might not like where he goes, but he knows how to get you there. So, "Dumbo," with all of the issues I'll mention below, is exactly the movie Burton wanted it to be.

The question is, why? Why would Burton want to make a movie so driven by rage against audience and corporate sponsors both?

And why "Dumbo"?

If you've seen Burton's interview with Ray Harryhausen, available on some of the Blu-ray reissues of Harryhausen's films, you're reminded of how much of Burton's vision of filmmaking is informed by his still-childlike appreciation for simple wonder. As he sits with Harryhausen and plays with the saucer models from "Earth vs the Flying Saucers," Burton looks and sounds like a five year old kid gawping in awe at a shopping mall Santa Claus. He still loves the things he loved as a child, and he becomes a child again in their presence. His joy is sincere.

The man who felt joy and wonder in the presence of Ray Harryhausen could never have produced the grim, joyless, misery-soaked downer that is "Dumbo" unless he was trying to say something about the destruction of his own childhood sense of joy and wonder.

I think "Dumbo," in its not-so-thinly veiled critique of the cruelty of corporate exploitation of children and nostalgia, is Burton's attempt to tear down the structure he helped to build.

It was Burton's own remake of "Alice in Wonderland" that set the current live-action remake frenzy in motion, remember. Whatever you may think of that movie (I like it for its weird and subversive charm), there's no question it was enormously successful and clearly inspired the corporate minds at Disney to authorize a wholesale ransacking of Disney animated classics as fodder for subsequent live-action redos.

As a loving fan of those original classics, I think Burton must have been horrified by what he'd unleashed. He couldn't have felt otherwise. Again, look at his interview with Harryhausen. The kid in him cherishes joy and wonder. Whatever virtues the Disney live-action remakes have, with the exception, I'd say, of Burton's own "Alice," joy and wonder aren't an apparent high priority for the filmmakers involved. If anything, most of the remakes are drained of wonder by the translation from the imagined to the tangible.

Which brings us to "Dumbo."

The original "Dumbo" is a slight, one-hour fairy tale, centered entirely on a baby elephant with big ears who can fly, and cast almost completely with talking and singing animals. With the exception of a thoughtless racist element, it is a film of charming childlike innocence with a simple message about the strength of mother and child love and the power we gain when we let go of emotional crutches. ("I need a feather to fly.")

This is not a movie that demands a live-action remake, or even, in its story elements, supports the possibility of one.

And, in fact, Burton's "Dumbo" isn't a live-action remake-- it's an angry, passionate argument *against* such a remake. The baby flying elephant is a MacGuffin in Burton's "Dumbo"--not the emotional core of the story. There are no talking or singing animals, no other fantasy elements, not even a hint of fairy tale atmosphere. From a character point of view, I'd argue, there is no emotional core: none of the "live" characters in Dumbo have any emotional resonance at all. They are all bleak and joyless and broken, emotionally dead, barely responsive to the world and the story supposedly taking place around them. One of them, a little boy, has no character existence at all-- I'm not sure he's even named, and he could be removed completely from the film without any discernable impact. For a filmmaker with Burton's skill set such a failure to develop even marginally interesting characters with a vital stake in the story is inexplicable-- unless it was intentional.

I think it was intentional.

I think "Dumbo" is an act of auteur subversion, one of the most breathtaking acts of creative defiance since "Citizen Kane," though certainly far less successful as a piece of entertainment. In fact that may well be the movie's most defining artistic characteristic-- its complete unwillingness to entertain.

It really is a remarkable achievement. To trick Disney into financing and releasing a major motion picture which savages everything about the company's approach to its classic films, and, in addition, to its entire corporate raison d'etre, is a stunning accomplishment. What a trick. I imagine the script reads very different from what Burton shot-- it's possible to describe something one way, shoot it another, and edit it all together to produce the opposite effect from what the screenplay suggests. Because there's so much CGI involved, Disney executives probably never realized what Burton was doing until final cut. And that, in itself, is part of Burton's savage attack on Disney's corporate methodology. The further film executives get from true hands-on creative involvement in the films they make-- through increasing dependency on CGI and post-production manipulation-- the less they really know about the movies they're making. The very power to ham-handedly rework a mediocre director's work in post allows a master director to hide his intentions until it's too late to reverse them. By the time Disney executives possibly realized what Burton was up to, if they ever did, they'd sunk too much money and time into his version of the film-- and had no choice but to either scrap the movie entirely or release it as it is. Given the exigencies of corporate finance, and the apparent belief on the part of Disney executives that the appetite for live-action versions of beloved animated classics is insatiable, releasing Burton's hate mail movie was ultimately the only logical thing to do.

In the end, "Dumbo" isn't a good movie. It probably was not intended to be. It's Tim Burton's angry rant against making movies like itself. It's a slap in the face to the people who financed it and the audience who shows up for it. As a work of protest it's kind of admirable. As a film-going experience, as I stated above, it's a miserable two hours.

You've been warned. At least now, if you see it, you can "enjoy" the movie for what it is-- a scream of contempt, an artist setting fire to the gallery displaying his work. Personally, now that I've defined it... I think I like it.

YMMV.

#dumbo 2019 #Dumbo

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words-writ-in-starlight · 6 years

Note

also if you wish to share your Thoughts about any and/or all of the tres horny boys...

MY B O Y S. I love them so much you guys. So much.

Send me a character and I’ll write 10 headcanons for them!

Merle is a hit in most places they go–he’s irritable and rude and has a weird plant Thing and Taako and Magnus can’t really see why everyone seems to think he’s some kind of late-middle-age dwarven silver fox. It gets even weirder when they’re wandering around Goldcliff and someone sidles up to Magnus to ask if Merle’s single and Magnus yells without thinking “GROSS THAT’S MY DAD” and Taako whips around and doesn’t even question what’s going on before he launches into a rant about it. It all makes so much more sense once they get their memories back.

On the one hand, I like the headcanon I’ve seen that Magnus is either illiterate or just very bad at reading and writing, but come on, y’all, he was part of Fantasy NASA too. I propose Magnus Burnsides who everyone assumes to be illiterate, the standard muscleheaded tank, resulting in kind of an awkward moment when the Director doesn’t hesitate to order the three of them to read up on the Relics. Merle’s the one who blurts it out, can Magnus even read, and Magnus is good-natured about it, of course I can read, Merle, what the fuck, but it’s a confusion that happens again. And again. And again.

(It makes Lucretia remember the way Magnus read up obsessively on the engineering functions of the Starblaster and all the mechanics he needed to get there and the way he was second only to Davenport in understanding the ship, and she hates herself for taking that from him.)

Taako’s the one to kill Governor Kalen, eventually. He and Merle hear word of him off in a town near Goldcliff and Merle plays lookout while Taako levitates himself right through the goddamn unlocked fourth-floor window. Guards can kiss Taako’s fine, fine ass. Guards ain’t shit. Taako does it without magic, because he thinks that’s how Magnus would do it–with a knife, which is maybe not how Magnus would do it, but not with magic. Kalen is asleep, and Taako shakes him awake first because he made a fucking promise, and he’s a little surprised by how normal and almost harmless the man looks, blinking up at him in surprise. And then Taako says, “This is for Julia” and casts Silence with one hand while he brings the hand with the knife down on Kalen’s throat. It’ll be morning by the time the guards show up, because an orc and a dragonborn are inexplicably rumbling with the local dryad demigoddesses in the town square and taking up everyone’s attention. Taako and Merle corner Magnus and Taako says, you need to trust us, you’ll understand someday, but we swore we would do a thing for you and we did the thing and you can’t know what it is but it’s done and we did it just like you asked us to so THERE. Because Taako still doesn’t really like the whole feelings bit.

All efforts to get Taako to train in the Icosagon are pretty much abject failures. Magnus spends 90% of his free time there, and even Merle will swing a warhammer around once or twice a week if someone bothers him into it, but the closest Taako will come is sitting on Magnus’ back while he does pushups and Taako talks shit. Look at him, Magnus. Look. Does Taako look like the kind of elf who runs around doing fucking jumping jacks and suicide runs. No. No he does not. Remember it, Magnus, or he’ll burn a spell slot on your ass. Do twenty more pushups, Magnus, for your FUCKING SINS.

One time Magnus thought it would be a nice sentiment to get Merle a houseplant, because their dorms could use a little life. He buys some nice amaryllis (according to the elf who sold him the thing) and ties a bow around it and gives it to Merle. It lasts three days before Taako reaches his threshold for Merle’s plant Thing and incinerates it–to put both the plant and the rest of the Reclaimers out of their collective misery.

After the whole debacle with the three of them showing up for a mission briefing in their pajamas with 90% of Merle’s ass hanging out and Magnus electing to actually change clothes mid-briefing, they start a private bet to see who can ruffle the Director. They know that she can be unprofessional (”hot diggity shit, Taako, she said hot diggity shit” Magnus hisses under his breath), but the first person to make her actually yell at them for their shenanigans wins everyone’s Fantasy Gochapon tokens at the end of the next mission.

Naturally this is unsuccessful, because, over the course of a century, Lucretia completely lost the ability to be more than mildly surprised by anything the three of them can pull. She’s perfected the art of being unimpressed with them. Merle one time sprinted into the cafeteria buck-ass nude on a dare and Lucretia stared at him with the expression of someone who puts up with the insufferable, year after thankless fucking year, and dares him to top that shit.

The three of them act like they have literally never heard the words ‘personal space’ or ‘privacy’ in their entire goddamn lives. Even Taako, who’s prickly with everyone he meets, is physically all over Magnus and Merle at all times without regard for any sort of personal bubble. Taako can’t see over the crowd? Magnus has got that shit, pop that elf on his fucking shoulders like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Magnus not sure what to do re: looking presentable? That’s fine, Merle and Taako know every detail of every item of clothing he owns and their Unique fashion senses basically cancel out until Magnus looks normal. Merle not moving fast enough? Taako doesn’t have time for ‘permission,’ cast Featherfall and let Magnus sprint down the street with Merle under one arm and Taako under the other like a Fantasy Quarterback. Merle naps on Magnus’ floor. Taako wanders around in Magnus’ clothing. Merle braids Taako’s hair. Fucking status quo, my dude, this is How It Is. None of them even notice, at first, it’s just…normal. It’s like they’ve been living right on top of each other for a hundred years. (Ha.)

All three of them have nightmares. Magnus’ are always about Ravensroost, pulling the bodies out of the wreckage, looking, searching for something he doesn’t want to find, until his hands are bloody to the elbows and he’s crying and–the blood was dry, by the time he got there, but it’s always fresh and red and awful in his dreams. Taako’s are usually about Glamour Springs, his body as useless as a mannequin, his mouth unmoving while he screams no, no, please, no, it’s poison, but sometimes it’s just loneliness and someone who isn’t there and he doesn’t understand why those are the ones that make him sob when he wakes up. Merle’s are fewer and farther between, and he never remembers anything about them, he just remembers darkness and sunset and the knowledge that he’s going to die, and die, and die, and it will never do anything to help anyone. There are a lot of three-in-the-morning insomnia nights in the kitchen, is the point here. Sometimes if Taako can bring himself to do it, he makes hot chocolate and mutters something halfhearted about none of that powdered shit, milk in a pan or death, because Taako will stuff his face with junk food until he’s dead but he will never half-ass hot chocolate. It’s more reassuring than almost anything else, listening to Taako mutter and bang around in the kitchen while Merle and Magnus sit there silently and recover. On the other side of the base, they don’t know it, but Lucretia is doing the same thing, with chamomile tea from a recipe that Lup taught her.

All three of them would literally rather die than admit it, but there’s real-facts combat about what happens to Angus after everything. Obviously he can’t go home, kid’s grandfather kicked it and his parents sent him off to live with his grandfather, so the battle royale comes down to this: who gets to keep the boychik. After the dust settles, it turns out that actually Angus has a scholarship to go study some fucking Fantasy Forensics shit and the agreement comes down that he’ll stay with Magnus on breaks, because Magnus is closest, and that Taako has visiting/teaching rights whenever Taako wants because Taako says so, and Merle has permission to come up with bullshit excuses to be around at the same time as the kid sometimes. Obviously Taako is a package deal with Kravitz, who Angus likes perfectly fine now that he knows Kravitz isn’t in the market for any Reclaimer souls, and also with Lup, who comes fully equipped with a Barry, and Lucretia comes to sit with Magnus and drink and pet his dogs sometimes, and Davenport comes to see her from time to time, so basically the battle royale was pointless and Angus upgrades from being mostly alone in the world to having eight parents plus his lesbian aunties who like to teach him to shoot stuff.

After Refuge, Magnus and Taako and Merle all get fucking blasted together. It’s not celebratory. It’s sitting on the floor with bottles of hard liquor because they’re too tired to sleep and they feel like death and it’s only two in the afternoon, they’ve literally only been back for an hour and a half. Taako tells the story of what the Chalice showed him almost offhandedly, like it’s a good joke, hey, Taako’s riding high, totally innocent, my dudes, but then he takes a slug of Fantasy Tequila like it’s his fucking job and sits there staring at the bottle for a good few minutes before he says anything else. Magnus is halfway through his bottle of Fantasy Gin before he slowly, so slowly, like every word costs him, tells them about what happened to Ravensroost, and about Julia, and the two of them sit and listen silently in what might be the only moment of tact that the world will ever see from them. Merle’s mostly drinking in solidarity, here, and so he’s the one who muscles Taako into the nearest bedroom (Merle’s, in fact) when the elf kind of droops, and who manages, with no small amount of effort, to drag Magnus onto the couch–Magnus is easily twice Merle’s height and built like a fucking brick house, this is a minor miracle. He makes sure they’re lying on their sides and leaves water by their heads and clatters around loudly in the morning to cover up the fact that he’s cast Cure Minor Wounds in an attempt to lessen their hangovers.

#taz #the adventure zone #merle highchurch #magnus burnsides #taako taaco #i'm so furious that his name is fucking taako taaco g o d #with bonus lucretia because did you really think i was gonna not talk about the director #anyway i'm pretty much ride or die on all of these #i love these three more than words can say #give me that good good found family shit y'all #let me infuse it directly into my fucking bloodstream #i will shove all of it into my awful maw #hey who wants to listen to me scream about these three and their found family shit for forty days and forty nights #sorry y'all i just finished watching prince of egypt got the bible thing on the brain #but yeah anyway i love it i live for it i'm done here #magnus taako and merle all love each other and suck at expressing it #thanks for listening #headcanon meme #ask meme #starlight writes stuff #idiot teenagers with a queue #aethersea #asked and answered #taz balance

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tumblunni · 6 years

Text

its weird how like my fave genre of games could be vaguely categorized as ‘nurturing things’ yet i fuckin hated every single thing of that kind that was pushed on me as a child

like hell yes i love pet games and games where you get customization and a sense of progress on building your character, and like even i like ‘parent games’ when they’re that sort of thing instead of just weird shoddy gross baby diaper changing bullshit. Like wtf who on earth even wants a game about raising a kid where you don’t get to see them grow up and graduate high school and make you proud in one of 63 careers?? seriously i am still so salty that this is such an underutilzed genre and i still have to play creepy anime fanservice dos games from the 90s cos thats ALL I HAVE. Why u showing my perfect sweet videogame child in creepy fanservice costumes I JUST WANT TO SUPPORT HER ACADEMIC LIFE

but anyway lol WHAT I MEAN IS

even though i LOVE that stuff i fuckin hate all that cliche ‘girl toy’ bullshit I love character customization but I hate it when its framed as ~lol girls just inherantly love fashion oo catty girl time~ and you only have this one stupid sexist creepy giant boobs doll and no customization except costumes and the only costume options are either sexualized or really stereotypically ‘girly’ and also you have to be rich as fuck to buy all these stupidly overpriced individual outfit packs and then you cant even DO anything with your barbie! at least in a videogame you can have the novelty of replaying the same cool fantasy adventure with your different characters, and like.. it has actual substance BEYOND just the customization! And I mean you can see your customization in action in a 3D environment and having a Story and Cool Powers and a voice and animations and all that jazz! And interacting with canon characters without having to buy all those separately too, and then do terrible impressions of the voiceacting from the show on your own... cos man that’s what i used to actually do with any ‘girl toys’ i was given, i saw absolutely ZERO appeal in having fifty ordinary houses where you can do nothing but sit barbie on a damn chair and gossip about husbands or whatever. Like fuck that’s already lazy and awful cos you’re telling the kid to make up their own reasons to find any enjoyment from the damn toy, but at least cliche ‘boy toys’ got like... a story template. And one that;s actually interesting and involves fighting n shit, and their accessories actually GIVE THE TOY NEW FEATURES but yeah like even making up a whole new story about barbie being a superhero got boring quick, cos she wasn’t remotely relateable or interesting. Like I’m glad that nowadays they do more with the character but even if they’ve fixed some of the predjudiced shit she’;s still.. not interesting?? just gone from cliche fashion boring to absolutely personalityless ‘good role model’ with no defining traits whatsoever. So I used to just destroy barbies or make her the villain in everything, and had a big box of naked barbies with missing legs and stuff while i gave all their accessories to all the pokemon and digimon. Still really pissed at how few of the outfits would fit on Impmon! Seriously it sucks that also all the good ‘boy toys’ were really stereotypically macho in one way or another so i was barely ever allowed to have them and i felt like they hated me even when i did get to play with them. And the only tv shows at the time that I liked that weren’t ‘for girls’ or ‘for boys’ were pokemon and digimon, which were still kinda treated as ‘for boys’ but didn’t even get the ‘boys style’ of merchandise. like barely ever poseable dolls that i could use in more creative play, they were just like collectables you put on the mantlepiece. I WOULD HAVE KILLED FOR CYNTHIA NENDOROID BACK THEN!!! i used to break all my damn digimon trying to fit them into lil outfits or throw them around doing battles, and then i made myself hella sad. I’m sad I don’t still have that super broken but extremely loved patamon transformer doll, that thing was THE BEST! like man why did they stop doing those after the first season?? actually digivolving your digimon was the best damn idea! did they get sued by transformers or something...??? and I mean GEEZ its not like I didn’t like cute stuff or hugging stuff or being nurturing or friendly or whatever people claim is the ‘wholesome value’ that female stereotypes teach kids. but man all that shit just ruined the stuff i loved! its so alienating! and why is it always super low quality and limited?? fuckin Baby Alive Really Pees And Poops,And Does Nothing Else Ever And Has No Personality. yeah girls you sure wanna see only the bad sides of nurturing and be told over and over that your life is gonna be nothing but this as soon as you inevitably start wanting to marry boys, which is totally gonna happen according to every damn adult, and will feel like a death sentence to any kid with any other sexuality. like I fuckin got my Official Digimon Tamagotchi and it was like the whole world opened up to me, like wow Pets Can Actually Do Things Other Than Shit. And i mean at least in an lcd game thing the pet shitting actually serves some damn purpose and provides resource management gameplay to decide what evolutions you get, instead of just Somehow You Should Enjoy Changing Diapers, You Little Fuck. I loved that tamagotchi so much i fuckin broke it too, like WHY WAS KID BUNNI KRYPTONITE TO TOYS?? the battery crapped out cos like i held it too tightly and the case on the back got loose?? so it’d short circuit whenever it went into sleep mode and wipe all my save data. and i still kept playing even though i could never digivolve anyone beyond their first stage before it glitched out. And then I got THE PLAYSTATION VERSION WITH ALL THE GRAPHICS and just AAAAAA it was like the best fuckin thing ever. and Monster Rancher!! and Princess Maker!! kid me could spend 60 straight hours looking after nonexistant babies and talking dinosaurs and cry like a damn bitch when they died so DONT TELL ME I’m lacking in healthy nurturing skills just because i don’t wanna be mr marketing guy’s fucked up idea of a straight woman...

...man sorry this post turned into a really weird rant why did i think about this at 1am

also like even flash game internet dollmakers are better than the cliche stereotype dolls they were based on god I’m perfectly fine with collecting a bunch of things if they’re not forcing some offensive message down my throat! i still remember how confused and pissed off i was when i figured out that my little pony was supposed to be A Gender Thing too, like geez they’re fuckin horses. and the show was actually like THE ONLY THING i was allowed to watch that had actual adventures and fighting monsters and stuff! its so bad and minimal now that i look back on it, but like man it was all I had. No wonder i got so into pokemon when it came out, look here’s a thing to collect that’s all ABOUT fighting monsters! i always wanted figurines of the monsters from those dumb girly shows, it was so annoying that MLP g1 had that episode about ‘oh the Crabnasties are people too, they’re not evil just because they look gross’ and then WHERE IS MY COLLECTABLE CRABNASTIES THEN?? WHY CANT I PUT CUTE ACCESSORIES ON THEM?? fuck u that was the most memorable episode also actually why did i have to wait so many pokemonn generations for a crab that appealed to me? krabby is so boring, its just a crab with weird human eyes. and i’m inexplicably creeped out by that one from gen 3 cos its like an optical illusion, i thought the markings were its face! thank the gods for crabominable and also damn the gods for it being hated by 90% of the fandom for reasons I will never understand :( ...BUT STILL WHERE IS MY CRABOMINABLE BEAUTY PARLOR PLAYSET YO

fuck its 1am why am i still awake why can’t i stop thinking about dragon quest 9 but you play as crabs THAT WAS THE BEST FASHION SIMULATOR EVER, DAMMIT

#blunni thoughts #also yo like it was awful for me as a trans person #but i also feel super sad for straight cis girls who had to put up with that shit too #cos its not like these are actual realities of what all straight cis girls like during childhood!#man i feel bad sometimes like i'm upholding stereotypes for being someone who wasnt feminine and then ended up trans #i support all of you butch cis women out there too!!#or just feminine women who still don't agree with dumb stereotypes!!#or just people in general who want actual quality children's products!!

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lazywriter7 · 7 years

Text

Blind date part 2

so apparently fandom has been set on fire because of shitty reviewers on the internet being shitty and instead of ranting, I will make up for the general shittiness by writing fluff and Steve Rogers being in awe of and pining for the beautiful man that is Tony Stark. So there. For @ishipallthings and @xtaticpearl (and also @winterlysoldier for my first comment on a fic posted on Tumblr ahhhh), here is my continuation for the fill for the prompt: “you’re supposed to be on a blind date with someone but you sat down at the wrong table and i haven’t been able to get a word in edgewise to tell you that and it’s been thirty minutes” au Read part one here

Steve cleared his throat.

For the minute sound that it was, Tony positively leapt out of his skin. His elbow hit the wooden underside of the table, the chair legs dragging noisily against the floor as he staggered to his feet. Dark eyes shot up to Steve’s face and then away, unshielded by coloured glasses.

“I..erm.” Tony seemed to have lost control over his vocal faculties. His eyes were watering slightly, possibly from the pain of his elbow knocking into the solid wood. The words, when they came, exited in a messy spill. “This. This is my Tower.”

I thought you said it belonged to all the Avengers now, though the tone was less taunting, more…fond. Steve just nodded, lips curving up slightly. “Okay.”

“My Tower.” Tony repeated. Blinked once, as if mentally clarifying where he was getting at with this. Nodded in turn, chin bobbing up and down. “I’m allowed to be here. So there.”

“I’m sure.” Steve couldn’t quite stop the smile from taking full form on his face, waving a hand towards the chair Tony had knocked askew. “Care to sit down?”

Tony stared at him suspiciously, like he hadn’t quite figured out the mechanics or motivation behind Steve’s facial muscles doing the weird smile thing. Sat down slowly, fingers going up to tug at the fraying end of his scarf, wool winding around his index finger.

Steve pulled up the opposing chair, watching Tony’s eyes bug out of their sockets even more as he lowered himself into it. Dragged his palms over the khaki stretching across his thighs, pushing out a slightly unsteady breath. Found the smile sitting just as easily on his lips as it had half a minute ago. “Fancy seeing you here.”

A dull thunk echoed between them, like Tony had just started again and banged his knees on the underside of the table in the process. His eyes were darting over Steve’s features like a rampant pinball machine, absolutely refusing to settle on Steve’s eyes. “Look Steve, I- this wasn’t- I know you can’t be very happy with me right now but-”

“No, I don’t-” Tony clamped his mouth immediately when Steve began speaking; it had the effect of Steve’s words drying up in his throat as well, watching Tony’s eyes look at him apprehensively. Shit. What had he wanted to say anyway? “I don’t…um. I don’t really. Mind.”

Wow Rogers, flooring performance. Really making him feel wanted, aren’t ya?

Tony’s eyebrows had gone winging up to his hairline. “You don’t?”

“No-o.” Damn. Why was Sta-Tony behaving like he was the one needing the assurances, anyway? Steve pushed out a nervous laugh, lips pressing together tightly in the aftermath. “I mean…you can’t exactly be unused to that? What with the billionaire, philanthropist, genius-”

So original, Stevie. He’s absolutely never heard those glowing adjectives, certainly not from his own damn mouth-

Shut up, Buck. For all of the internal growling, Steve was feeling progressively more pathetic by the minute.

“-playboy asshole, yeah I know.” Tony completed with a nod and a resigned smirk, and Steve nodded along- wait, what? “Guess you must’ve been expecting a stunt like this.”

“I don’t think you’re a-” The words exited Steve’s mouth automatically, but were promptly halted in place by a crook of Tony’s eyebrow, eloquently spelling out- really?

“Only to those who deserve it.” Steve amended with a slight wince, and reluctantly thought back to all of his own straight-backed, wide shouldered, righteous jaw posturing in the not-so-distant past. Hell, he had been a total cad to his future café wife inside his head and he hadn’t even met her. “And I can admit that I usually do. Deserve it.”

Tony was watching him strangely, eyes dark in frank, unreadable appraisal. Steve could feel the warmth beginning to creep up the bottom of his button-down collar again.

Silence lingered at their table for a while, before Tony broke it slowly. “You’re taking this much better than I thought you would.”

“I’m a little surprised too.” And Steve and mental Bucky groaned in unison inside his head, because god he was terrible at this. No wonder any dame wouldn’t give him the time of day. “I mean. We just…uh, got off on the wrong foot earlier-” and again and again and- “and I wouldn’t have actually imagined going on a- a date with someone like you,” take that judgey Cap off you idiot, “so…so intelligent and… innovative and fearless and sprinting up ahead of the times,” and now you’re a breathless fanboy, well done, “but I couldn’t really bring myself to walk out of the café when I saw you so I was just. Surprised.”

Quiet.

Well that was an unmitigated disaster.

Practically feeling the heat steaming off his face at this point, Steve was expecting either a disdainful moue or a snort of well-deserved laughter. Tony however remained seated, uncharacteristically still, fingers motionless around his scarf ends. His lips flickered for a few seconds, blinking thrice before clearing his throat and repeating all too inexplicably, “On a date with someone like-”

You. Steve was on a date with Tony fucking Stark.

“Cap, I think there’s been a-”

I, Steve clamped down on his miserable anxiety with characteristic anger, am not going to fuck this up.

“My favourite colour is blue.” Steve interjected, because screw charm and suaveness and everything else, he was going to do this on the power of sheer determination. No one could say Captain America didn’t have that. “Not the light, powdery kind. Robin’s egg, a bit of cyan. Darker the better.”

Tony blinked at him again. His lashes curled out slightly at the edges. Steve had never seen a man with eyelashes like that. “That’s…nice, I guess.”

“I like bagels. Freshly made, seven in the morning. Plain is nice, but sesame seed is better.” I never tasted fresh bread after my ma died. But no, that was too dark for a first date. “The serum made it so I wouldn’t be allergic to anything, but anchovies still make me nauseous. Running is nice too. I like running before the sun comes up.”

“Not that all that isn’t positively scintillating, Cap, but you don’t have to–”

“Swimming!” Steve blurted. His fingers were tapping faster and faster on his knee, probably a blur at this point. “I’m a soldier, but I never learned how to swim. People find that strange. I like old movies. From my time. Proper old, not when da- women say they like old movies these days and talk about flicks from the goddamn eighties.”

“I’m partial to ‘The Last Starfighter’ myself.” Tony murmured almost absently. “Steve, listen to me-”

Where are your manners, Steven, hogging all the conversation like that. Peggy’s reproving tone echoed in the caverns of his head, let the man talk, for Pete’s sake. “What’s…uh, yours?”

More confused blinking. Even through the dulled panic, Steve’s eyes were drawn to the motion. Dark lashes, up and down, up and down. Heck, this wasn’t even like ogling Tony when he was flying in loop-de-loops, for heaven’s sake; the entire human race blinked, it wasn’t exactly spellbinding, what was wrong with Steve–

“What’s my what?”

“Favourite colour.”

The answer to that question, Steve reflected in the silence that followed – not the fucking colour one, the one just before, ricocheting wildly off the walls of his empty head – was everything.

“I’m sorry.” Steve heard the words drop uselessly out of his own mouth. “That’s a stupid question.”

“No, no.” Tony laughed – then paused for a second, as if taken by surprise by its sound.

Wellll, at least he’s laughing. Bucky observed. Even if it’s at you.

The smooth, shining surface of the table was looking more and more tempting by the second. Steve wondered if it would survive the impact with his forehead. “Shut up.”

Steve didn’t realise he’d actually vocalised till Tony’s brows crooked. “I’m sorry?”

“No, not you…just. Voices.” Steve said lamely, and then let the words hang there; too miserable to be appropriately horrified. He’d grown familiar enough with the modern times to know what that had just sounded like.

A good soldier knows to quit while he’s ahead. You did your best, Rogers.

Apart from the fact that his best…well, to borrow a modern colloquialism, sucked. Steve exhaled, tight and despairing. “I’ll just go.”

“You probably should.” For all that Tony was smiling, gentler than Steve had ever seen him, the words still hit hard. “My fault entirely, shouldn’t have come here in the first place. You should probably look for the person you actually–”

“Have a shot at? Yeah, I get it.” Steve bit out, knees knocking against the table as he rushed to his feet – and regretted the words instantly. Tony was being so kind, he’d had met dames that wouldn’t sit through ten seconds of that joke he called a conversation, and here Steve was messing it all up with his humiliated resentment. His nails dug into his palms, lips pressing together tightly even as he struggled to parse the words out in a dignified tone. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…you’re right, this was a mistake. Thank you for giving this a chance anyway, I know this isn’t exactly your kind of…” A deep exhale. “Who’m I kidding, it’s a throwaway café at the bottom of your Tower, this is miles away from anything you’re accustomed to, I don’t know what I was hoping for–”

The lines on Tony’s face were growing deeper as Steve went on, eyebrows pulling down, something faintly distressed about the curve of that mouth. “No Steve, it isn’t like–”

“Bye Tony.” Steve forced out, and Tony’s expression changed strangely in response – right, he hadn’t been informed of the Stark-to-Tony change that Steve’s euphoric, idiotic brain had made when he’d first glimpsed that dark head in the bustle of the café.

His chair dragged against the floor as his palms pushed away from the table, hands coming to hang rigidly at his side as he turned away. Right, so. First course of action – go up to his floor and rip the spine out of How to Get Out of Your Mind and Start Living. And then set it on fire, though he’d probably have to enquire about incinerators first. There were apparently pollution laws for this kinda thing now. And then maybe look up that site Barton was recommending for people who wanted to meet other people, but not do much talking. Steve didn’t want to open his mouth again for the rest of his life. The site had the oddest name though, something about inflammable wood –

“Steve.” Something snagged at his wrist. Steve glanced down, saw tanned fingers and grease under nails. “Wait.”

His eyes flicked back to Tony’s face of their own accord, heart frozen for a beat. Apprehension and a myriad of other emotions were warring in Tony’s features, contorting and twisting and looking for all the world like he had no idea what business his hand had wrapped around Steve’s wrist.

“Are you going to keep holding my hand,” The words were falling out of Steve’s mouth, roughly hewn with the tiniest tinge of desperation, “or are you going to actually say anything?”

“I vote both.” Tony returned with a smoothness that surprised even him, if the rocketing eyebrows that followed that declaration were any indication. He stared down at the table, gave it an affirming nod, and looked up – once unreadable eyes resolving into determination. “Can we do both?”

Steve’s mind was stuck in static, and before he even knew it, he was being guided inexorably back down; knees folding and tailbone hitting the chair, hand encased in Tony’s warm, calloused grip. It was his turn to blink confusedly, heart thundering to life under a chest that threatened to burst. I don’t understand, he meant to say, except –

“Are you sure?” Slipped out instead, cracking at the edges a little.

Tony stared back at him, jaw firm and eyes unwavering. His hand didn’t twitch, forefinger and thumb tucked around Steve’s wrist bones, palm cupping the knuckles. “Absolutely.”

And then his eyes dipped, almost as if conscious, mouth reduced to a blur and vowels and consonants escaping helter-skelter. “I mean, when you strode onto the Helicarrier in that spangly outfit, I was pretty much but soft, what light through yonder window breaks and all that jazz–”

A snort escaped Steve without his cognizance, eyes widening after as Tony’s own narrowed in turn. “What, you find Shakespeare hilarious, Rogers?”

“Just thought someone modern might be more up to your speed.” Steve managed to reply without stumbling, still all too conscious of the exact location and status of his left hand. Was his skin clammy? It was clammy, wasn’t it? “I dunno. Uh, Han Solo?”

“We aren’t there yet, hun.” Tony replied easily, like the two of them together, like this, wasn’t still making Steve’s head throw up an Error 404. Oh, he should probably say that out loud sometime. Tony would like the reference.

“Barmy old coot that he may be, Shakespeare still has his uses.” And now Steve’s hand was being taken even farther away from him, hovering close to Tony’s chin – oh god, that’s where his lips are – Tony’s fingers sliding around all too easily to wrap around Steve’s own, thumb brushing the knuckles. But hell if Steve could concentrate on any of that – it was like his and Tony’s sightlines had infallibly tangled together, and he couldn’t look away any more than he could hush the thrumming blood in his veins, roaring in his ears. Tony smiled, a flash of white incisor in the midst of all that enrapturing darkness. “It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.”

Steve’s neck burned. Seized with the inexorable urge to drop his eyes – no, to knock Tony’s hand aside and curl his fingers into that thrice-damned scarf and pull, right over the table till Tony’s elbows knocked into the wood and his chest heaved and smirking lips parted –

Tony broke the eye contact. His lashes swept down, colour bursting to life on olive skin, rich and sparse, like wheat browning under the glorious sun. His lips barely moved in a murmur, “You have quite the sweltering gaze, Captain.”

“I have good inspiration.” Steve returned on autopilot. Huh, not bad.

Tony seemed to agree, eyebrows flying up to skim his hairline. His cheeks were still faintly coloured, “That is the smoothest thing you’ve said all afternoon.”

“It didn’t have much competition.” And Tony snickered as if in agreement, but Steve could feel his own lips curving to echo his, tightness in his chest easing away to leave something far lighter behind. This didn’t feel mean. This didn’t feel mean at all. This felt more akin to Peggy pursing her scarlet lips, bright-eyed with ill-concealed amusement, all ‘you really don’t know how to talk to women, do you.’

“You aren’t half as eloquent as you are when you’re all mad and Captain-ly.” Tony observed, eyes skating searchingly over Steve’s features. It made Steve’s skin prickle, and not unpleasantly. Tony’s mouth crooked, soft and discreet, more fetching than all the flagrant smirks in the world. “It’s charming.”

Steve cleared his throat, Tony’s smile growing even more delighted in response. “Uh. Wanna order something?”

And so it went on. They didn’t chat constantly, about everything and nothing like the closest of pals because they…well. Weren’t. But there was something here, Steve thought – something about how Tony’s smug grins and salacious comments didn’t ruffle his feathers half as much as they used to, something about how Steve’s blunt words didn’t make Tony stiffen in his seat. They weren’t immediately jumping to the worst conclusions about each other, jagged edges melting to run and flow together. Assured of his welcome, Steve’s words grew stronger and more confident – all the while his heart skipped a merry beat, hand growing warmer and warmer in Tony’s unceasing clasp.

“I always found it inherently ridiculous when they said it in the movies,” The sun was in its final lap, orange and gold streaks shooting across an indigo sky. Tony leaned casually against the café door, one ankle crossed over the other – how long had it been? Two hours? Three? Steve hadn’t been keeping count. “But I’m starting to think I haven’t been going on the right kind of dates. This was nice, Steve.”

Steve shifted on his feet, shoulders slouched, all too conscious of obstructing the entrance to the café. Tony seemed unconcerned, shoulder blades propped against the glass, fingers still holding Steve’s left hand hostage.

Maybe you can ransom it with a kiss, Bucky sniggered – Tony dropping his hand immediately as if he had a direct line to Steve’s deranged head. Steve flexed his fingers in the empty air, trying to clamp down on the disappointment. “Yeah?”

“Hmm.” Tony hummed. His freed hands reached up to wrap the faded maroon scarf more securely round his clavicles, lingering at the soft neckline of his tee after. Steve ached. “When I first met you, you felt like…the gathered essence of every asshole who thought they knew exactly what I was made of.”

Steve’s gut twisted in unease. “I’m so–”

“Uh-uh hero, still talking.” Tony stepped close, restless fingers reaching out to fiddle with the lowest button on Steve’s shirt. Caught before an exhale, Steve stopped breathing. “Today though. Today you asked me what my favourite colour was, like something out of Clueless, or a seventh-grade dating manual.”

If he breathed out now, Tony’s knuckles would brush past his abdomen. Lungs drawn tight, Steve could barely push out the words. “It was stu–”

“Guy flying around in a red-and-gold suit of armour.” Tony interrupted again, blunt nails scraping down the rough cotton, peeking between the buttoned gaps. “And you ask my favourite colour. Hell, maybe I’m reading too much into this – scratch that, I totally am, but that.” The quietest of breaths, dark irises flitting up. “That, wasn’t presumptuous at all. And I liked it.”

Beat. Beat. Steve exhaled. Tony tilted his chin up, as if to catch the warm breath on his own lips, chapped pink skin fluttering minutely.

They were so close now.

And then it struck him, as clear as his instinct before flinging the shield at a target, mind mapping out angles and trajectories. Nothing that had happened during this date had come naturally to Steve, and yet there wasn’t a split second’s hesitation in his frame as he tilted his head back from Tony’s uplifted face, gentle yet decisive. His loosely hanging hands came up to encircle Tony’s wrists in turn, detaching his fingers from Steve’s shirt with a soft tug.

Tony’s eyes flickered open, dark and confused. Steve could feel a rabbiting pulse, as his thumbs grazed over the thin skin of those wrists. Soft and low, his voice was mere vibration held captive in the enclosed space between their bodies.

“Who’s being presumptuous now?”

He held on, long enough just to feel Tony’s shiver, and then dropped them. Counted out two blinks before Tony’s mouth curled, eyes gleaming; denied and pleased somehow all at once. “You’re an asshole, Rogers.”

“Only to those who deserve it.” And his heart was anxiously, traitorously thudding away all the while, but his voice held and Tony laughed outright, almost breathless. God. God.

His grin was probably far too broad to be as smooth as he was trying to project himself, but Steve couldn’t care less. Not anymore. A step back, and another, till he was nudging the door open with his back, Tony’s glowing eyes following him all the way.

“See you later, Tony.” And he could hear Tony’s pleased inhale at the name, and Steve turned around, hands reaching down to slip into his pockets, lips struggling to hold the sheer force of his smile. Walked away, with an almost jaunty spring to his stride.

Nothing to say now?

Well done hotshot, you and Stark can fondue from now till the end of eternity, Bucky pronounced flatly – but Steve knew better. Could imagine the mocking words of his best pal all the way from the forties, coupled with that proud little glint in his eye.

God Buck, if only you could see me now.

I am, Bucky promised – and Steve allowed himself this. This not-delusion, on the day he went on a fucking brilliant date, if he said so himself, with Tony goddamn Sta –

With Tony.

Right, so. Course of action. How to Get Out of Your Mind and Start Living could probably live to see another day, Barton could keep his website. He had a Black Widow to personally thank.

~to be continued

#steve/tony #stony #superhusbands #fluff #blind date #wip

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ghostcurse · 7 years

Note

1, 4, 11, 27

(((: thank you so much~

1. Your first OC ever?

So I mentioned her on my sideblog earlier, and I think you commented on it & I failed to, like, babble about her for you but at any rate

Beatrix De La Fontaine is my oldest character, I made her when I was 8 years old, and she’s gone through an array of changes that I can’t even like??? Fathom to begin talking about. I mean, after all, I was a child. And that still really shows in Beatrix’s personality.

The form that I consider her First Form because she actually had a set personality rather than just Oh Hey It’s Me, was the one I mentioned vaguely, but it’s definitely not the one where she developed depth. She was a magical girl with a giant scythe and her dad was fucking Naraku from Inuyasha. Someone even rped as Naraku for me, they were VERY nice and whimsical and I’m glad they’re one of the first ever people I para-rped with. I was about 12 then. I don’t know why Naraku. Why was I like that. Amazing.

Beatrix’s past has changed only twice, and one was a recent change. Because my friend and I created these ocs together, the collaboration of their past was very ridiculous and very edgy, because I have been goth @ heart all my life, while she was like… Something Corporate style punk depressed. Anyway I may only find it as ridiculous as I do because I’ve kept this up for well over half my life. At this point I’m too sentimental to change it.

Initially, she was the daughter of a death eater lol and he died in the war, and her twin sister was my friend’s oc. They were very evil. Like, chaotic evil. Evil because they wanted to watch the world burn. Eventually, the Twist was that their dad was still alive. Later, this was changed from Death Eater to Serial Killer. Why did he kill? I have no idea. It was goff. Beatrix by then was her own thing, a very childish and emotionally unstable teenager that didn’t deal well with her family affairs, but unconditionally loved her dad. She was the heir to her family’s fortune and she hated her mom. I thought that I could make it a bit more interesting, give up on all this internal misogyny I had for her mom (who was veeeery feminine and Beatrix often had weird internal rants about how she hated that). So, when I revamped her, I switched the roles: Her mother is the serial killer that she inexplicably loves, and fuck her awful dad. In a way, I feel bad for doing this, if only because a friend of mine took Bea’s dad and created something interesting out of him, but he was out of my hands at that point.

Beatrix isn’t a very good person, and I sorta let that mold into its own thing. She sometimes just doesn’t have much control over herself, because she doesn’t know how to handle her emotions, having been isolated in a dusty ol’ manor when she and her mother fled from home for a very long period of time. She was also hella neglected and started latching onto any form of sentimentality she could, making her love her mother and her younger (former twin b4 the change) sister Yvette, whom wrote to her, VERY intensely and without question. Charlotte was disowned by her family for numerous reasons, without like, going super in depth about her bc this is already p long. But in any event, where Beatrix currently stands, she isn’t very fond of her mother anymore and her sister’s corpse is sitting in her fridge while she desperately tries to learn necromancy. Thanks, ma.

Bea works as the head chef at a local diner, where she’s actually really normaling out, and she’s supposed to be kinda mature eventually, albeit still retains her childlike glee about things.

To think she used to be some scene kid.

4. A character you rarely talk about?

That’s quite a bit of them but let’s doooooo Ciel Volkov because he’s newer and therefore I haven’t spoken much about him.

He’s a very pretty boy, works as a chief assistant at the above mentioned Chancelier family’s company, so he like… works for The Big Man himself. In certain instances, his gender changes around, but canonically he’s a transman who’s transitioned via magic potion because fantasy settings ARE. GREAT.

He’s like, really nice but gets emotionally exhausted easily, so he lives in a small shitty apartment with his cat Lasagna Princess and loves it because he can binge on tv and video games while eating nothing but junk food and soda without people judging him (he has, like, six older brothers). Because he was a shit farmer and was often grounded as a kid, he developed talents with technology. Computers and shit are very primitive in my universe, but he’s talented af with them and is basically my Hacker Character. The fact that he’s Russian is seriously purely coincidental.

In DnD he’s a like… 7′0″ or s/t deva paladin that worships a dead god of time. It was great, because he was in a party with a cattine, a dwarf, and a halfling, so it was like…………………. ok guys stack on top of each other to meet Ciel’s eye level. I decided to sorta keep that in my lore for him, where he’s deeply lowkey religious. He’s also a time anomaly, which causes a lot of unreality issues for him. Sometimes he phases through timelines, albeit briefly. He uses light magic and while I haven’t figured out deities completely, he follows the sun bc the sun and moon talk to ppl it’s complicated.

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

So as I sorta mentioned above, I sorta group my characters through sun & moon motifs, but the answer to this is very clearly Kaimana Ohme. He’s unconditionally nice, tho sometimes I like to be spiteful and play him as older and jaded, but he’s still a very good guy.

He’s a skater bro, vegetarian, pastel pink hair, loves the outdoors. He’s chill as hell and has a really welcoming family with his two moms and two adoptive siblings. Kai’s very big brothery and optimistic and stresses communication often. He’s also a HUGE crybaby. I don’t think I ever figured out his talent for magic, but he’s probably a wind caster. Gotta get that sick air, bruh.

I also associate him a lot with bright, sunny beaches, warm sunsets, oranges and pinks and blues.

I think, out of all my characters, he’s the most gentle and grounded emotionally. But he’s also wrestled his best friend to the dirt and forced him to eat grass because they got into an argument– and then immediately felt bad, so lmao.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Many of them have been, even if I can’t think of them all right now.

Trent Travis, my gigantic awful shitlord werewolf, was inspired by all of Lonesome Crowded West - Modest Mouse, but particularly Trailer Trash.

Murphy Urquhart, my Main Girl, came to life because of Besitos by Pierce the Veil, which I still actually use as a base for her even tho I don’t really listen to their music much anymore

#long post #the original father #my writing #extraterrestrialhag

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equallyreal · 7 years

Text

A Review: Blade Runner 2049

I haven’t seen the first Blade Runner movie since 2013, when I had to watch it for a philosophy class. I had to write a paper on it. I don’t remember what grade I got, but I do remember enjoying the movie. I’m not a hardcore Blade Runner fan, but I liked it enough to be worried about the upcoming sequel. Hollywood’s track record for sequels to classic movies from the 80s isn’t great. You get your periodic Fury Road’s, sure, but you’re more likely to encounter a Phantom Menace, at least from my experience.

I’m glad to report that Blade Runner 2049 is more on the Fury Road end of the spectrum--not quite Fury Road levels of Godlike Quality, but definitely a very, very good movie. If you liked the original, you’ll definitely like this. For a more in-depth and slightly spoiler-y take (including what will be, fair warning, a lengthy rant about one element of the movie I really didn’t like), check under the cut!

Let me start by saying this movie is gorgeous. It’s directed by Denis Villenuve, whom you might remember as the director of my second best movie of 2016, Arrival, with cinematography by Roger Deakins of The Village and The Shawshank Redemption, and there is just as much care put into the visuals in this film as there was in those films. There’s also just as much care put into the silent moments. There are huge stretches with little soundtrack or dialogue, which works well with the sparse, harsh atmosphere of the settings. The special effects are also superb. There’s one standout scene that, despite skirting a bit close to being a full-on sex scene and being a little bit weird in its context, shows a really impressive use of visual effects. Despite this movie being almost three hours long, it never felt long. I only noticed that it had been a while because my back started aching. The pacing is good, and the plot is engaging enough that you won’t lose interest--or at least, I didn’t.

The acting is all consistently good (save for one actor whom I’ll be discussing later). Harrison Ford turns in a very, very good appearance in his return to playing Deckard. I’d say it’s even better than his appearance in The Force Awakens. He pulls off some really good quiet emotional moments in this movie. I also really enjoyed Ana de Armas as Joi. Her performance had just the right amount of nuance to make what could’ve been a very flat or obvious character more complex and ambiguous.

The real star of the show is Ryan Gosling as Officer K. Talking about him will involve some heavier spoilers, so if you want to go into this completely blind, I’d skip past this next bit. The tl;dr version is that I love his character and think he did a great job.

[START SPOILERS]

Officer K is a Replicant better known as Officer K-D6 3.7, a revelation that is made fairly early on in the movie. The plot of the movie is, on the base, a mystery about these escaped older-model Replicants. However, K is at the emotional core of the movie. Amidst the mystery is a sometimes subtle but very solid plot about K wanting to be real. I liked the way his desire for realness manifested in his relationship with Joi, whom he only ever treats as an equal and genuinely cares for. I liked that even when he was given the chance to be real, he responded with both fear and longing--a perfectly rational response for someone in his position.

What I really loved, above everything else, is that when he ultimately finds meaning and feels human, it’s not because of a big act of revolution or destiny or anything like that. It’s because of an act of unselfish kindness. He finds peace and his own meaning, even after having everything snatched away from him. It’s a bittersweet ending in a lot of ways, but a very good one. I love K and I want him to be safe and happy. I’m not sure the writers want that, but I do, damn it.

[END SPOILERS]

So, overall, there are a lot of good elements to this movie, including a likable protagonist, a solidly constructed plot, and some gorgeous visuals. I do think this is a movie people should check out, especially if you’re a fan of the original or enjoy cinema.

That said, there are two flies in the ointment that keep this movie from achieving, as I put it earlier, Fury Road levels of Godlike Quality.

The first and smaller of the flies is the treatment of women. There are some elements that are thematic in a way that works, but is still uncomfortable, but overall a lot of the women in this are objects in some way. Again, sometimes this works, but it does contribute to an overall uncomfy feel hovering just under the veneer of stylized beauty. This is most obvious in the sheer amount of sexual content in this film. I’ll admit, part of this is my own discomfort with sexual stuff in movies, but quite a few of the women or female forms in this movie are depicted sexually, or have moments of nudity that while not sexual do contribute to them being depicted as victims. There are three exceptions. Of those three, one isn’t onscreen long and is basically a Lost Leanore, one is a bad guy, and one inexplicably tries to make a move on K at one point but is otherwise pretty great. Again, thematically this sometimes makes sense, but other times it feels gratuitous. Not to mention that thematically relevant doesn’t always equal this is something we should have put in the movie.

The second and much bigger fly is Jared Leto.

If you don’t want to read negativity or you’re a Jared Leto fan, you should skip this bit. I was super not fond of him.

To be fair, part of my grudge against him has nothing to do with this movie. For the sake of disclosure, I will admit that part of the reason I don’t like him is his behind the scenes behavior in Suicide Squad. If you haven’t heard about that, be basically sent used condoms and harassed his colleagues in the name of (and picture the biggest air quotes possible here) “being in character” as the Joker. I find that kind of behavior unprofessional and attention-seeking, and it really turned me off to him as an actor.

Basically, I was already biased against him, and he had an uphill battle to fight when it came to me tolerating him. I might have been able to look past being a gross person, had there not been another piece of behind-the-scenes news that drove another five or six nails into the coffin. Back in September, it came out that Jared Leto’s character in this film is blind, and that he wore contacts to change the appearance of his eyes, contacts that made him basically blind in real life. This would be completely unremarkable if it weren’t for this quote from the film’s director:

We all heard stories about Jared, how he transforms into the characters, but even this didn’t prepare me for what was to come. He entered the room, and he could not see at all. He was walking with an assistant, very slowly. It was like seeing Jesus walking into a temple. Everybody became super silent, and there was a kind of sacred moment. Everyone was in awe. It was so beautiful and powerful — I was moved to tears. And that was just a camera test! (x)

(Emphasis added is mine.)

So basically, Jared Leto does something that’s pretty much the bare minimum of what you’d expect a sighted actor playing a blind character to do, something actors from Maisie Williams to Donnie Yen have done while playing blind characters, something that other actors have done while playing sighted characters to change the appearance of their eyes (Rebecca Romijn as Mystique, for instance), and...suddenly he’s the second coming of Jesus. Yeah. Okay. Sure.

On top of this, there’s a fair amount of stickiness and complexity surrounding a sighted actor playing a blind character. It’s a tough subject, and one I’m not 100% equipped to talk about as a sighted person. tl;dr, Hollywood is really bad in general about casting actors appropriate to the role, and also has a diversity problem with regards to...well, everything, but especially disabled actors. In an ideal world, Jared Leto wouldn’t have gotten this role. But he did, and now we’re stuck with him in the movie.

This was already fairly annoying before having seen the movie. Now that I have seen the movie, the whole debacle is even more annoying. Why? Two reasons.

1) Jared Leto is barely in the movie. On the one hand, this is a blessing, as I only had to see his face for two scenes. On the other hand, this makes that high praise the director gave him all the more baffling, because his character didn’t do much. In his first scene, he walks around, says some pretentious stuff, kills someone, and gives orders. In his second scene, he walks around an even smaller space, says some pretentious stuff, has someone killed, and gives orders. That’s his entire role. Now, on the one hand, Jared Leto as a pretentious rich white bro with a god complex makes perfect sense. On the other hand, it’s nothing spectacular. He didn’t act it especially well--he wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t memorable for anything other than the inherent douchiness of his character. So all that praise the director heaped on him, especially in a cast of much more talented people, feels unwarranted.

2) The fact that his character is blind is ultimately irrelevant to the plot or the character. I know, a blind character doesn’t need an excuse to be in a narrative, and also there might be some eye-related symbolism that I’m missing because I’m dense (this franchise has a thing for eyes). But this felt really glaring to me in light of their casting a sighted actor and then heaping praise on the actor for doing something that’s not that special.

There are two ways to approach these two points. The first way is the why didn’t you just make this character sighted way. Sure, if the character could see some obtuse metaphor that I and the average movie goer missed would be lost, but I don’t think the movie would suffer for it, especially with a character who’s barely there. We wouldn’t have had to deal with the aforementioned Jesus comment, which would’ve gone a long way towards making me less exhausted by Jared Leto being in this movie, and you would’ve avoided the stickiness of the casting choice with regards to disability.

The second way to approach this is why didn’t you just hire a blind guy? Sure, there aren’t a lot of blind actors active in Hollywood right now--in fact, Wikipedia only lists four with actual entries on the site. But there is probably out there some undiscovered blind person who’d love to get into acting, or they could pick from any of the blind musicians and actors out there. It’s a minor role, good for someone without a lot of acting experience, and there’s little to no physical action required. Literally all Jared Leto did in this movie was walk around. There is nothing that would prevent an actual blind person from taking this role. They could’ve made a big step forward for representation, or at least thrown a few dollars towards a blind unknown (hell, it probably would’ve saved them money to do that instead of casting a big name like Leto).

I did really enjoy this movie, and despite my ranting, even Jared Leto wasn’t enough to make me hate it. But in my opinion, it was a huge misstep on the part of the studio. I don’t know if they’ll learn from this mistake--probably not--but I hope that it’s an issue we as a culture can start making steps to avoid in the future. We can do better about this, guys. I know we can.

[Content Warnings for this movie: Nudity, sexual content, violence, more nudity, there are a lot of boobs in this movie so be warned, flashing lights during the casino chase scene, drowning.]

#a review #blade runner 2049

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smilingformoney · 6 years

Text

It Lives Beneath Diamond Scene: Go to Danni’s House

Danni: Awesome! I’ll just grab my bag, and we can ditch this place. Danni: So tired of listening to people shouting ‘Ginger Spice No Foam Cappuccino.’

You follow Danni down the street at a brisk pace. Danni: So, what’s your deal? You: What do you mean? Danni: I mean, why are you digging into this stuff? I’ve been investigating because I live in Pine Springs, and people have been getting hurt here. Danni: But how’d you get mixed up in this? How’d somebody new to town end up alone with Ned inside his house?

You: Well, I… -Was playing detective.

Danni: So you’re, what? A part-time Nancy Drew? Getting your kicks from investigating inexplicable goings-on? You: Yuuuppp… You got me. I’m an X-Files solo operation, right here. Danni: Yeah… sure. Danni looks at you narrowly but doesn’t press you.

-Don’t really want to talk about it.

Danni: Oh, so you’re gonna be like that. You: Hey, come on, we barely know each other. You: I can’t even be sure you’re not working for those freaky robed people, and you want me to tell you all my secrets? Danni: Okay, I guess that’s fair. Danni: But hey, I’m taking you to my place. I’m trusting you. You’ve got to extend some trust my way too. You: I… You: I’ll do that.

-Wanted to know about his wife.

You: From what I’d heard, his wife’s death sounded a little too similar to the way Kyle died. Danni: You had a hunch they might be connected. You: Exactly. And because he was ranting about it in the middle of the police station, I thought he might be willing to talk to me. You: And he was, but… well, you know how that ended.

You: So, is that the only reason you got involved? Because you live here? Danni: Well, not just because I live here. Danni: Once I heard how people have been drowning, how they seem to be sleepwalking into the water, I knew something was wrong. You: I know. I’ve seen it for myself. When Kyle… It’s like he was in a dream. Danni: That’s what I’ve heard. That it’s like something… unnatural. Danni: When I saw those robed weirdos, I knew it couldn’t be a coincidence. They’re connected to this somehow. I know they are. Danni: I’ve been telling people for years that there’s something wrong with this town, with the way it’s run. There’s something bigger at play here. You: Bigger how? Danni: I don’t know yet. I just know that there are a lot of very comfortable, very powerful people here… Danni: …and they’re very invested in making sure on one looks too closely at these ‘accidental drownings.’ You: It sounds a little hard to believe. But I’ve seen some pretty messed up things recently. You: I think my bar for ‘belief’ has been significantly lowered. Danni: Thanks for having the decency not to call me crazy. Danni: Unlike some people. And coworkers. Danni comes to a stop outside a small, cozy-looking house. Danni: This is me.

Danni: Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna go rustle up those photographs I was telling you about. You: Sure thing. You roam around the tiny living room while you wait. Beautiful photographs are all over the walls. One catches your eye, of a beaming girl in a huge, ruffled gown surrounded by family. Danni: Found that one, huh? Danni reappears behind you with a stack of pictures in a folder. You: Is this you? Danni steps closer to the family photo and touches the corner of the frame fondly. Danni: Yeah, it is. You: You all look so happy. Danni: We really were. My dad saved up for a year to be able to give me the best quinceanera ever. Danni: We still ended up having it in the Chili’s parking lot, but what really made it special was having everyone there, together. You: You really love your family, huh? Danni: There’s a lot of them. Too many sometimes, but that just means there’s more to love.

You: Really? -That’s so cute! +Romance

Danni: Oh, so you think I’m cute, huh? You: Uh-- no! Yes? You: I just, I had no idea you had such a soft side! You’ve got such a-- a prickly exterior. Danni: Oh, so now I’m prickly? You: No, no-- Aw, man, I’m really messing this up-- Danni starts laughing and punches you lightly on the arm. Danni: Relax, I’m just messing with you! You laugh along with her, relieved.

-My family’s pretty close too.

Danni: Oh, yeah? You: Totally. Wanna hear a funny story? Danni: Embarrassing family antics? I’m in. You: So my family was super into Halloween, but the apartment building where we lived didn’t celebrate it at all. You: I remember that Elliot and I were super bummed about it one year. You: But when we came home from school, the apartment was full of these small doors made out of cardboard. You: We knocked on each one, and our parents would open them and hand us candy and tell us how great our costumes were. You: They made us our very own Halloween, right in our own home. Danni: Your parents sound like very special people. You: Yeah, they… Yeah.

You: So, is that them? You gesture to the folder in Danni’s hands. Danni: Indeed they are. Brace yourself. It’s about to get weird in here. She extends the folder to you and you accept it. You leaf through several blurry photographs of the woods and lake at night. There might be figures in them, but they’re too vague to make out. You’re starting to feel disappointed, until you come to a picture near the end…

EXAMINE -Photograph

You: That shape! In the water! Danni: What? What about it? You: That’s what I saw in the lake when Kyle drowned! Danni: Are you serious?! You: Dead serious. That thing is what killed him. Danni: I knew these drowning ‘accidents’ were no accidents. You: This ghost… or whatever it is… can take control of people somehow, force them to walk into the lake! Danni: But wait, if this ghost is responsible for the drownings, then who are these robed people? Danni: How do they fit into the bigger picture? Why would they want to kill Ned? MC +5 You: I’m not sure yet… but I’m gonna find out. Danni checks her watch. Danni: Damn. My break’s almost up. We gotta run or I’m gonna be late. You: After you. You leave the small house, and the ghostly photograph, behind.

You arrive back at the café just in time for Danni to go back on her shift. The midday customer swell seems to have subsided and you sidle up to the counter. Danni: Phew. Close one. You: Thanks for trusting me and showing me that picture. It helps, even if it’s just to prove I’m not totally losing it. Danni: Tell me about it. It’s pretty comforting knowing I’m not alone in all this anymore. You: You’re not alone. We’re a team now, okay? Danni +10 Danni: A team, huh? I like the sound of that. You hear Danni’s stomach grumbling. You: Oh no! You never actually got to eat lunch on your lunch break! I’m so sorry! Danni: Hey, it’s fine. Why don’t you make it up to me?

You: Make it up to you? -You mean like a date? +Romance

Danni: Would you like it to be a date? You: I feel like this is a trap… Danni laughs and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Danni: Okay, jeez, yes. Like a date. You: In that case, yes. Danni: ‘Yes’ what? You: Yes, I’ll go on a date with you. You wink at her, and she laughs again, this time with rosy colour in her cheeks.

-How about a croissant?

Danni: That depends. Your treat? You: It wouldn’t exactly be making it up to you if it wasn’t on me. Danni: I never say no to free food. You slide an appropriate amount of bills across the counter to her as she pops a croissant into the toaster. Danni: That’ll really hit the spot. In one to two minutes.

Danni: I think we should visit the place where I’ve seen those robed weirdos before. We might find some answers there. Danni: But we should go tonight, before they figure out we’re onto them. You: That sounds like a good idea. Is it okay if I bring a couple of friends along? You: They’re helping me with the… investigation. Danni: Well, I’m not crazy about bringing other people into this, but… Danni: As long as you vouch for them, it should be okay. You: Thanks, you’re the best. Danni: Yes. Yes I am.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #choices it lives beneath #choices ilb #it lives beneath #it lives beneath walkthrough

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