#but i won’t be able to ARTICULATE THEM if i start crying!!!!

[gourmet-trash]

there is a decently high chance my director is going to pull me aside tomorrow to “let me know” i’m not getting the promotion OR the raise i should be getting next week so like. please fucking channel all your extra energy into my personal spirit bomb to NOT ANGRY CRY DURING THIS MEETING.

[stayinlimbo]

love at your fingertips

pairing: lee minho x reader genre: established relationship, fluff disclaimers: tooth-rotting fluff, will (hopefully) make you smile, slight suggestiveness, lowercase intended, slightly unedited word count: 681 note: i had this idea and just had to do it. i love love ♡

minho has never been good with words.

it’s a fact he’s had to accept throughout his entire life. sentences spew past his lips before he has time to process what he's saying and his mouth won’t form the intended words clawing at the back of his throat. his attempts at conveying emotions fall flat due to his dry tone of voice, the only noticeable tells articulated by his ever-changing demeanor. 

it must be ironic that he considers himself an extrovert. 

or maybe it isn’t, because although minho may not be able to express himself verbally in his native korean, he is fluent in the universal language of love through touch (as if his obsession of slapping his friends’ butts wasn’t proof enough). and now that you’re in his life, it has become one of his primary means of communication. 

“i love you” is one of the phrases minho will never have trouble saying. not when the simple brush of the back of his hand with yours hints at his affection for you before starting dating. not when he clasps your hand with his to carefully guide you through a crowded area, occasionally looking back to ensure you’re okay and always to be met with a smile that melts his heart.

he expresses it in the way he ruffles your hair when he stands behind your seated form on the couch, laughing as he defends himself against your playful swats. minho remains tied to you, playing with your fingers under the restaurant table when on a group date with your mutual friends.  

careful love as his hand presses against the small of your back, letting you walk slightly in front of him on the sidewalk at night, making sure you’re always in his line of sight. 

passionate love as he pushes you against the bedroom door, the grip on your hips tightening when your mouth detaches from his and trails down to his neck. he radiates it through the act of intertwining his fingers with yours by your head as he pants into your ear, pressing a sloppy kiss to your temple, a silent thank you for vulnerability you’ve never hesitated to unveil for him. 

unconditional love when he pulls you in for a firm embrace after one of the worst arguments the two of you have ever had in your relationship. his thumbs wipe your tears away, an unspoken apology for making you cry. 

it’s the love minho knows will be there when he wakes up in the morning as he stretches his hand out towards the middle of the bed, close to where your half-asleep figure peacefully lays. 

it’s the love he knows is reciprocated, for you speak the language of love too. 

minho hears it, sees it, in the way you took his shy hand in yours, intertwining them together with a beam on your face at the way his face flushed from your confident action, and it’s the way your fingertips dig into his shoulders, kneading away the tense muscles after a stressful day. 

you make his annoyance at the world disappear when your fingers card through his wet hair, creating spiky towers pointing in every direction that he can’t help but laugh at himself at how ridiculous he looks (yet never smooths them back down unless you do it for him). 

it’s your careful love too, existing in the lip tint you applied on him transferring onto your lips as you tilt his head and pull him in for a sweet kiss. it’s worth the smudged kiss stains adorning his face when he sees you admiring your work, squishing his cheeks together because he’s just “so cute.”

you love every extension of him, including his cats that yowl and parade around your feet until you give them all equivalent attention with gentle pets. 

love is imbued in your touch, even when you’re half-asleep, yet still reach out to meet his open palm to loosely interlace your fingers.

no, “i love you” is one of the phrases minho will never have trouble saying. not if it’s with you.

────────────────────────────────────────────

liked this work? want to let me know how i did? please like, comment, and/or reblog; they are greatly appreciated my asks are always open ♡

taglist: @linospuddin @linocz

[skitterstan]

Amy Dallon, a modern Pygmalion

I was thinking about how everyone wants a worm tv show but the special effects won’t ever be good enough, and then I was thinking what if it was a stage play? And now, after writing it all, I wonder if it could be a ballet, particularly a big coordinated gold morning dance. Hmm

AnywY, I really am picturing a huge dance number for gold morning. Truly think it’s the best way to convey it

Act 1

First scene starts with Amy in line at the bank, she’s calling Victoria and letting her know that she just got back from her trip around the world to different hospitals. maybe someone is a little rude to her in line. This immediately goes into the bank robbery, which introduces our primary characters.

The Undersiders are not truly explained or explored, they’re over the top wise cracking bank robbers. The action here is fast. Characters stand in the spotlight, deliver their lines, and move on, calling to the next character. We hear “the bug girl” give her maniacal monologue about killing everyone in the bank if they don’t comply. Imp is also introduced here, though it’s not a proper introduction because when she starts talking the spotlight cuts out and she goes like “hey!” I’m imagining cheesy effects with big emotions, played like a comic book.

The introduction of Glory Girl is played up with horns and crashing cymbals. It looks like our heroes are going to catch the dastardly villains!Tattletale shatters the illusion for both Dallon girls. Amy screams “she’s got a gun!” Which is something absurd during a bank heist, but bringing forward some of the cops and robbers drama of it, of tattletale breaking the rules, etc.

maybe Victoria gets shot, lots of blood and Amy heals her, her hands getting bloody in the process. Introducing amy dallon as a caped healer is important to do in the first scene.

The end of the first scene has an actual Tender moment between Amy & Victoria. I’m aging all the characters up a bit, and adding that Amelia has been away for months, so this is their reunion. They *both* seem different to one another. Victoria gives her a “hey cute bangs” or something. & Amy is so happy but tattletales dagger is in her heart, it’ll never feel natural or lighthearted. Victoria asks if Amy can heal their dad, and Amy explains why she won’t touch the mind

Scene 2 Amy helping the Wards, less focused on tactics. Flechette is here already to simplify things^. Wards are mostly background stock supporting characters to make up the backgrounds later, but we take the time with Chevalier.

I love the idea that chevalier & glory girl are beards to one another. I think chevalier should have a rainbow motif on his armor*

A scene with Amy and Victoria. They’re doing something fun, happy that the city is getting rebuilt etc. just a nice scene where they’re spending time together

The next scene is Brandish getting home from work & the attack by Jack & bonesaw. The actress for bonesaw should be much older & acting all cutesy. Amy arrives & is threatened into healing her father, breaking her own rule about never touching the mind. Victoria arrives and Amy changes something. For a moment it looks like they’re about to kiss. Victoria leaves, crying. Amy runs away, and Bonesaw comforts her.

A scene between chevalier and Victoria. Victoria is extremely upset, but can’t articulate it. She loves chevalier. He’s been so kind and gentle with her. A scene many queer person is familiar with. Two extremely empathetic people who are sitting there feeling comphet, trying to understand what isn’t working but not being able to look it in the face. Not able to look inside their hearts.

The next few scenes are chaotic, shatterbird bomb, Amy being chased by the Siberian, but Amy, Victoria and Chevalier are all there together in most of them. Like the first scene, things are over the top, but mixed with drama and blood. Victoria standing in the siberians way but not being able to look at Amy. Scenes evacuating civilians, healing capes, more members of the slaughterhouse 9 are *mentioned,* but are only seen in passing. Amy isn’t on the front line for most of it. A brief scene Victoria & chevalier facing crawler together, losing. I imagine crawler almost like a Iongdeng dragon dancer puppet. The time bomb going off and catching crawler and chevalier

This comes to the climax of the first act. Amy is dragging Victoria on a tarp away from the loud special effects & the other capes. There’s blood everywhere, mirror to the first scene. Victoria wakes up and she asks Amy to help her. Amy sets her up on a chair, something where the dancers can come in behind her. Amy tries to take away the pain. Amy asks if she can kiss Victoria. She says yes, and Amy kisses her. This is understood to still not be consensual. We see two of victorias hands on Amy’s back. Then a third.

To form the Wretch, Dancers in stage blacks slowly uncover parts of their bodies. More and more undulating, flexing limbs are unveiled. There is a dance. It is romantic but horrible. Amy is lifted up and embraced

Brandish’s voice from off stage. Amy fights to get away, suddenly ashamed. The wretch starts sobbing and pleading for Amy to come back. The blood is still on her hands. the scene from the book. The bug girl is there. Amy volunteers to go to the birdcage

The next act is Amy’s time in the birdcage. Her first girlfriend, taking power. Maybe using her power offensively for the first time, just taking someone apart at a touch. The power plays, the cloak and dagger. It all leads to khepri, Amy having a monologue where she realizes that tbe only think that’s making her weak is thinking of people as people. another big dance number, khepri the actors with streamers dancing with the nude golden man. Maybe rite of spring in the soundtrack. The wretch dances along, and we see khepri force Amelia to heal victoria.

Act 3 is basically just ward from Amy’s perspective. She has everything she should want, except the one “thing” she can’t have. We watch her descent into bloody madness while everyone around her except Victoria buys into it. Another dance with the titans and the glass breaking.

^shes actually there for lesbian reasons

*also Amy Dallon’s needs to be lesbian pride flag palate**

**also Tattletale needs to be ace pride flag palate***

***also skitters costume needs to be sapiosexual pride flag palate)])

[shslskaterboy]

Anon who asked your faves here- Good choices!!! :D all amazing characters. Will you tell me more about why you like them? :3c (i want to hear your thoughts and give you the chance to talk blorbos!)

O_o you honour me anon, I’m really about write a whole essay Godspeed 🙏

I love Sakura and Mondo because I am, and always have been, a complete sucker for buff people who are actually so soft. Mondo really made himself cry when he talked to Makoto about his dog and I will never be able to get over that. Sakura is the ultimate martial artist and people are always terrified of her at first glance but then it turns out she’s sweet and soft and feminine and cares deeply for her friends and her moral principals. Also they’re so gay so like that automatically gives them a million points

MAKOTO my darling dearest boy is so delightful, so optimistic, and also such a little freak (affectionately). He is truly the glue that holds the group together, he is so relatable, he’s secretly a snarky little bitch, and he’s the littlest guy ever in the world 🥰 Also something else that not only pertains to him but also the other protags as well that I love is the journey from being so insecure so realizing their true capabilities, which I just love for them

Gundham my beloved, was instantly so high in my list because he is A Goth, he has Hamsters, and he is so unapologetic about who he is. He wears all black, he loves eyeliner, he loves animals, he Talks Like That, he knows who he is and he likes to have fun, and he really does come to love and care for his friends and classmates by the end. He makes connections. He’s so autistic but that doesn’t stop anyone from loving him. He is everything to me ❤️

Keebo was immediately my fave in v3 because he is also such an autistic representation and he is immediately so sassy in scene 1, he is straightforward and intelligent, and his whole existence raises so many interesting philosophical questions about AI which I will probably talk more about in its own post, and he’s just so pure, so lovely. I love him. Best boy.

Shuichi baby. How can I even do him justice. He’s shy, he’s insecure, he’s a little emo boy (I see all black and I pass out and hit reblog), and he just needs a hug so bad. Also his arc is so satisfying to me, he undergoes grief, anxiety, depression, and he still comes out the other side stronger than he ever was. Also sassy, he has that signature protag sass and I love it.

Miu was a fave because she’s literally sooo annoying like why is she like that? Is she insecure too? Probably! But her methods of coping are so opposite to anyone else in the series (apart from toko/syo who I also like for the same reasons) that it’s just so comical. She hilarious, she’s also unapologetic, and she’s really out here just saying whatever. We love to see it.

Hajime and Nagito are so prevalent in my mind that I don’t even know where to start. There’s so much to say, and so much of it has been said already, but that won’t stop me from trying. They are mirrors, they are complimenting colours, they are victims of circumstance, they are the only ones who understand each other. They are so snarky, they’re smartasses, they’re simultaneously the smartest and dumbest people in the room at any given moment, they’re so insecure it hurts, but they’re so strong in their convictions that nothing short of the end of the world can shake them. As characters they are complex, they are funny, they are tragic, they go and in hand like chilli and dark chocolate, and that I think is what makes them each compelling as their own individual people as well. I have so many thoughts I cannot even hope to articulate. They’re just so. Soo. AAHG. Ya know?

[oddball-in-the-scarf]

that post on about uncomfortable media makes me think a lot of about things

Honestly, some of my favourite films are ones that have made me cry and feel something for a long time, even as someone who is very mentally unwell and with such specific triggers and troubles, it ends up being more cathartic to me to watch them especially if they adhere to said troubles, because it feels like I am then able to confront them in a way after feeling ‘seen’. When I see something that distresses me, I often think about why it distresses me, and how it makes me feel, I’m often not able to articulate it, but I end up appreciating any media thats able to make me feel emotions of a kind, good or bad.

Even if I can’t reccommend any of such media as a casual viewing, if you can prepare yourself and are willing to try them out, I do say they are worth watching once.

One film I mentioned in the tags, Kill It And Leave This Town, is not a film I can reccommend to a lot of people, not only for its really uncomfortable subject matters, but also due to it being very slow and disjointed as a film with a very unclear narrative, theres a long scene of one character muttering to himself as he does crossword puzzles for example, yet its themes of death, seeing loved ones die and realising your memories with them weren’t all that great, and trying to make amends your own way in your own mind, was something that touched me in a way that no other media about death and mortality made me feel, and its a massive comfort film that way despite its uncomfortable subjects. Due to how disjointed my mind works the disjointment of the film and its narrative felt more suitable to me as well, but I understand when someone says they can’t get through the film either because its too much in its themes or is just too slow for them to get through.

Another film I mentioned, ‘Threads’, is something I can’t reccommend either, its a brutal film that tries to be as accurate as it can be on nuclear warfare, it also hits a little personal to me, as a lot of the characters being working class northeners in England remind me of northerners I’ve known and a lot of them feel like people I know (even if I’m more southern), which makes it all the more painful for me. But the way it brutally yet realistically depicts everything honestly ruined a lot of ‘post-nuclear-apocalypse’ media for me like Fallout, because now I can only think ‘please, it wouldn’t be nearly as optimistic!’ and I mean that in a good way! It really is a film that puts into perspective on how nuclear warfare is a very VERY bad idea (to put it lightly) and just how everything will collapse as a result. It’s to the point its a film that actively discouraged a lot of ‘pro-nuke’ sentiment at the time. It’s a film to definitely watch once and even if I did not ‘enjoy’ or was ‘entertained’ by it, I am glad I watched it, and I appreciate it for not pulling any punches, but hopefully I won’t see it again.

Last I mentioned was Birdboy: The Forgotten Children, its a bit more ‘mild’ compared to these other ones but still incredibly brutal, it dabbles into drugs, mental health, and wanting to escape a dying and oppressive community when there’s barely any chance of surviving in the first place. I can’t explain how this film makes me feel, mostly because I haven’t watched it in so long despite it being a film that has come to mean a lot to me, but also because theres so much emotion that the little animal kids make me feel and how they all try and survive and escape their island as you see all their individual struggles. The film like Kill It And Leave This Town is animated, bleak, and very metaphorical, and it portrays them all in ways where they have as much impact as things that are ‘real’, though this ends on a more hopeful note than Kill It. I feel if you are trying to get into upsetting films, this one is a good start.

[safetycar-restart]

more little!drivers please!!! maybe how youd comfort them on a bad day/bad race etc… pref little Max Lando Charles or Mick but honestly I’m obsessed with them all !!! (saw you’re feeling towards Pierre & Carlos…. that is also good… its very good…..) (if 🐬 isn’t taken can i claim plss)

Ok firstly, 🐬 isn’t take yet so of course you can!! For anyone else who wants to claim an emoji, the taken ones are all listened on my pinned post.

As for the your request, I’m gonna do a short bit about each of them and then we can go from there??

MAX:

I think it would take Max quite a while to be able to slip into littlespace when he’s upset around you. Because he knows he’s going to be whiny and clingy and just experience a flood of emotions because that’s always what happens when he’s upset and he slips. Usually, he kinda just curls into a ball and cries it all out but he’s so scared of doing that in front of you.

But, little max doesn’t really give big max a choice. Because little max knows you’d take great care of him and wants cuddles and kisses and snuggles and to not have to cry alone anymore.

So max does slip around you and the first time he does it because he sad, you take such great care of him. Even though he doesn’t say it, you realise pretty quickly that max is just going through so many emotions so you let him cry in your arms and then let him watch cartoons and cuddle you and just be the best boy.

LANDO:

I think Lando would be even quieter than usual? He doesn’t want to show you how close to a breakdown he is, but of course you can see it.

You let him fight it while other people are around, because you know he won’t want to embarrass himself in front of others. But the moment it’s just you and him in his hotel room, you bring him into your arms and he can’t fight it anymore and kinda just dissolves into tears.

But it’s okay, it’s over pretty quickly. And then you just try to distract him by letting him draw and colour in and tell you stories.

CHARLES:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: little Charles is a very sensitive little boy. He hates conflict and big emotions and just wants to cuddle and play with his stuffies and spend time with you. He gets upset and overwhelmed so quickly.

It’s genuinely very difficult to calm down an upset little Charles, because he’s just so sensitive and so sad and the poor thing has no idea what to do with himself.

So you focus on grounding exercises. Getting him to take slow breaths, count backwards from 30, ect and slowly he starts to calm down and your cute, giggly little boy returns.

MICK:

For mick, I think he’d mostly get frustrated because he doesn’t have the words to describe how he’s feeling?

Usually, he’s a very good little boy. He laughs a lot and loves to play and adores tickle fights. But when he’s really upset, he hates that he can’t manage to express himself properly to you. He wants so badly to tell you what’s wrong, but he just doesn’t have the brain capacity for it.

So you focus on providing him with words, trying to guess what’s happening and articulate it for him. Once you land on what’s wrong, it’s much easier to help him calm down and he’ll accept cuddles.

[sherpasunshine]

Thoughts from the Tempest

I’ve had several teachers say it before: “Stop overthinking it.” Stop trying to think outside the box so much. Stop overanalyzing everything. But I can’t turn it off. I’ve committed to decisions with little discretion to subvert my habit, I’ve compared pros and cons, I’ve executed well-thought-out decisions. But doubt is my companion and while I fight it every day, and sometimes stave it off temporarily, it always returns because there’s simply too much to consider and I can’t accept “going with the flow” because that’s how I’ve made foolish, foolish mistakes and I then I have to look back on myself as what I am, which is so much less than I want to be, and I can’t forgive myself because this life has no breathing room for mediocrity. “You did not wake up to be mediocre,” say the signs in front of the college, and instead of motivation I feel rage and vexation because how dare you? How dare you force so many warring decisions on me and then pretend aspiring for more has nothing to do with it?

I’ve read every piece of advice, every opinion, every statistic relative to the decisions I could make. I turn to forums and articles even though I am wary of the internet’s noise because counselors aren’t really available on demand, and if they are, they’re not free or cheap and even when they are, having to start a discussion with someone scrambles my brain and I won’t be able to articulate things, won’t be able to express the tempest in my head because we don’t do that with language unless we are very practiced in spilling our deepest emotions and feelings—which I am not, as I only listen to those of others and advise and touch the surface of my own—and I have been weathering the storm inside, alone, for many years and I can’t show anyone that because how could I? How does one articulate a maelstrom? Through art of course; writing, drawing, singing, dancing, playing, strumming, sculpting, building. But if I choose this course, will I suffer everlong? Will I continue to cry for my abysmally low accounts, for the strain of never having enough, for never knowing if I can weather what comes next and how badly it will hurt me? Fall down seven times, stand up eight, tumble down the mountain, wonder if I’ll ever see the top, curse it and tell it I will best it one day, one day. An endless cycle of hope and misery. 

I could commit to the formal education, go into communications because I have been praised all my life for my writing and analytical prowess, have begun trying to bridge the canyon poisonous rhetoric has carved into the minds of many, have learned to look men in the eye and tell them what they don’t want to hear because I dare you to stand against me. And I know I could reap great success and find happiness in all those I will meet and fulfillment in my achievements, but there is still eating well and exercising that is expected of me and I want that, I try every day, but what’s missing? Will I ever have time for my dreams? Will the tales in my head ever come to fruition, comic or book? Will my creativity ever be appreciated? Will my heroine ever slay the villain? Will the readers ever live through her? Will they ever know the stories I’ve wanted to put to paper? Will I regret no matter what I do?

In a life of so many wrong turns, will I ever make the right one?

[dear-diary-im-still-here]

February 22, 2024 8:54PM

I’m having a hard time being emotionally available. I have a hard time articulating how I feel towards others. I wonder if it has to do with the fear of losing them, or having them go. I wish I could understand myself better, I wish I could articulate how I feel towards others. But my heart and mind won’t let me.

Whenever it has to do with my feelings, it just makes me cry and cry and cry. I wish I could stop it. I wish I could change.

I wish you never told me. I wish, I didn’t wish.

It would be nice to know.

What if?

What if things were different?

What if you chose me?

Would we be in a different path?

Would I have been happier?

Would you have been happier?

Do I deserve to know?

I have this heavy weight on my chest that doesn’t leave.

I look at you, and my heart starts beating faster.

But my chest feels so heavy. So fucking heavy.

Why can’t I let it go?

*rereads*

Why can’t I let it go

I wish I knew how you felt.

I know you’ve told me, but was that everything?

I get snippets and random memories.

It feels like tug a war with my heart and my mind.

I don’t know who’s winning but I feel that battle within me.

I just want to breathe, I just want the world to stop. I want to be able to think but I can’t.

9:04PM

I really hope this says with me.

9:05PM

[yearninggirl]

Dairy Entry 001

Writing definitely comes easier when I’m sad. Sometimes I feel the heavy pain of what it means to be a human. I’m trying to articulate it all on here, I’m going to try my best.

Sometimes I think the sadness and emptiness has escaped me, but I think it’s a part of me. It sits there like a dark cloud, hovering over me reminding me all the reasons I should be miserable. It’s super convincing.

I don’t even know where to start, I know a feeling that I’m very familiar with is loneliness. Since I could remember, I’ve felt it, I knew I was the odd one out, sticking out like a sore thumb. I’ve literally never been able to shake this. I’m distracted from it, I accept it. But I can’t help but feel so foreign.

I think this is why I cling onto romantic relationships. If I’m fuckable I have to be accepted by my romantic partners. But I struggle with community. I don’t trust people, I feel like they won’t get me. I love people. I crave intamacy and I love togetherness. But it also stings at the same time. I love people so much and I don’t know if they’ll ever feel the same way about me.

I think I go out of my way to comfort people, make sure they are heard, make them know that I see the human in them, let them know they are never alone and they are valued and important. I think I do this because of how lonely, unimportant, insignificant and unforgettable I feel. I will do anything to make sure no one else feels this way. But it only makes me feel worse. Am I coming on too strong? Does this even matter? Do people even care? Do people think I’m weird for this?

I have a boyfriend who is amazing. He is my soulmate, I know this. He understands me. I get scared because I think I will consume him, I’m very all or nothing. Unlucky for him, because he understands me, I will become a burden. He will likely grow tired of me crying, my jealous remarks when he tells me about his cherished friendships. How he belongs in other groups and how he can talk to anyone with ease or make friends on a dime. I could never do that. I am actively trying to stop myself from idoslising him, using him as an object of comfort and vicarious living. I love him so I won’t let it become this way.

Typing this I have a lump in my throat. When I started my antidepressants they worked really well for me. I thought this because I was having multiple panic attacks throughout the day and they helped me get through the day and function like I’m supposed to. Now I think they are making me depressed. It all feels really bleak.

I think the most important thing for living beings is love and belonging. And community. It’s so undervalued in todays world where individuality is placed on a pedestal. And being private. Withholding love. Worrying that we are doing too much. How do other people survive this? I crave a love and acceptance that I am yet to find anywhere. What am I looking for? What was I deprived of that leaves me bleeding and wanting and injured?

Anyhow. I will make myself dinner probably some pasta, drink some peppermint tea and have my YouTube in the background, to mimic human interaction. Or maybe music to stop me from thinking. Then tomorrow I will go to work, come back and do the same thing again.

[intheroomsys]

i couldn’t find your main but i saw your twitter post and i have a genuine question. in one of dave’s posts he said “you’ve never gone through anything difficult in your life” or something along those lines. do you just not recall anything i’ve told you about my life? if not, let’s refresh your memory. i was a child of divorce. my parents separated when i was six and it started a downward spiral for me and my parents. none of us have known true happiness since then. my mom got married again right after my dad to a man who abused both of us. she finally left him when i was ten years old and when we moved to a new apartment i was raped multiple times by my only friend there. then i was groomed and exploited by grown adults online for two years straight and the only thing that stopped me from getting groomed was a car wreck that gave me permanent brain damage. after the car wreck i wasn’t myself. i was never happy. i started SHing and having suicidal thoughts. i became delusional. middle school in my hometown was ok. i was getting bullied on the daily for being queer but you know how that is. i coped. i had friends. then the rug was ripped out from under me when my mom and i moved half way across the country so my mom could start a new life. a few months after the move i was repeatedly assaulted by one of my only friends here. so i had to come forward about it and the school told my mom about me being raped. i’ve never seen my mom so depressed. she felt like she did something wrong. she still believes it’s her fault after all these years. and guess what the school did? absolutely nothing. they made us sign a “stay away” agreement but they continued to put her and i into the same classes every school year which was so incredibly triggering to me. and almost immediately after that happened the fbi caught one of the many men who exploited me and put him in jail, but they were able to trace me through the pictures of my naked ten year old body and found my mom and they showed her everything. she made my dad fly out from california to look through all of it. my dad acted like it was my fault i got groomed. it was the most humiliating thing i’ve ever experienced. my own parents flipping through pages of evidence of my trauma. i was sexually repulsed for so long. i was forced to go to court mandated therapy where i finally felt remission but it didn’t last. it never lasts. and then i went into high school where i met you. well you know what happened after that. super long story short. i have gone through difficult shit. in fact i’ve gone through A LOT of difficult shit. i’ve been getting better though and i truly wish the same for you. i can be harsh and dare i say “toxic” towards you but it’s only because of everything that’s happened between us and i’ll never be able to think of you as someone who brought me happiness again. and that’s hard for me because we were so happy in the beginning. but some people just don’t mesh with each other. maybe we were just too similar. who knows.

so i’ll start by saying i won’t be able to articulate this as specifically as i’d like to because i’m not 100% sure who you are. like i think i know? but a lot of this is information that was never actually shared with me.

the post in question was me in the middle of a breakdown, that’s kinda why i made this acc. to keep bad feelings off my main. when i said “you’ve never had to go through anything difficult in your life” i wasn’t bothering to think about what i was saying. in all honestly the feeling i was trying to articulate there, was my frustration in being forced to be the one to make a difficult decision. im sorry if those words hurt you, i honestly never really expected them to be seen.

i feel very similarly about the feelings at the end there. there are a lot of people in that group that made me so fucking happy for a very long time, and now every memory we made feels like it’s had shit smeared all over it. and i cry over that. a lot. i go back and forth on my feelings about it a lot. i wish i knew what happened. everything was going so well and i feel like, all of a sudden it just. crashed and burned.

sorry i cant say anything more specific cause im not 100% on who this is. but you’re welcome to leave another message and i’ll reply to that to. hope you’re doing better, thanks for reaching out. <3

-🌿🟥🌧

[oilivia]

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” - w/  Kenma, Suna, Atsumu��& Oikawa

a/n: i decided for my first post to do a fun little prompt with some of my favorite haikyuu boys. all characters are aged up, you can find the tws separately for each drabble. smut after the cut. no beta, so please excuse my horny brain.

Pairings: Kenma w/ daddy kink & deepthroating; Suna w/ riding & creampie; Atsumu w/ teasing & mindbreak; Oikawa w/ oral & reader on phone

Wording: 1.8k

if you want to request drabbles, i have a list of prompts here.

Kenma

tw: daddy kink, praise, dacryphilia, rough deepthroat, throatpie, petnames

“Just like that, baby” you hear Kenma praise you. Your head is bobbing up and down his cock, your cheeks hollowed as you do your best to take in as much of his length as possible.

You gag when he starts thrusting into your mouth, his tip bruising the back of your throat. He doesn’t hear your whimpers, not with his headphones on. He just feels the delicious way your throat tightens around his cock when he pushes it too deep. He can’t see the tears in your eyes or the way your makeup starts running down your face either, not while you’re under his desk and his eyes are focused on the game. He loves using your throat for his pleasure, you’re such an obedient little girl.

Nimble, desperate fingers play with your aching cunt, but it’s not enough to satisfy you. You need more than your own fingers to cum, you need daddy’s cock. Nothing else could properly fill your needy hole, he made sure of this each time he fucked you until you could barely remember your name. Only daddy could make his baby cum now. Moans struggle to escape your abused throat as the thought of Kenma’s cock spreading your hungry cunny has your hips moving on their own, desperate for the tiniest bit of friction.

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” he asks as he takes off his headphones, a hint of teasing in his tone. You look up, your glassy eyes meeting his. He loves you like this, naked and on your knees, legs spread and dribbles of liquid oozing from your pretty cunny. Your makeup is smudged and drool is pooling at the corners of your mouth as your lips envelop his girth. There truly is no prettier sight to him.

Kenma cups your cheeks with his palms, as he starts shoving his cock harder between your lips, grunting every time it hits the back of your throat “Just like this, baby, make daddy feel good and daddy’s gonna make his little baby cum so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow, okay, angel?” his voice is soft, but his tone commanding.

You whine, his words making your insides clench around your fingers. It wouldn’t be long now, you think, just a few more minutes. And when you feel his cum spurting in your mouth, you happily gulp it, making sure you don’t waste even one drop, you want to make daddy proud.

Suna

tw: cowgirl, slight teasing, nipple play, creampie

It is just like Suna to lazily lie on his back, his hands behind his head and eyes fixed on your body as you bounce up and down his cock. You’d say he’s lazy, how he’s making you do all the work, but the truth is, he just loves to see you take control of your own pleasure until you make yourself cream on his cock. There is something so alluring about the way his sweet innocent looking girl hungrily takes what she wants. If only your friends would see you like this, how would they react?

That’s not to say Suna doesn’t like taking control, oh no, he does. But the way you whine and demand his help as you tell him how much of an ass he is for making you do it all by yourself while your face is flustered, skin burning under his fingertips. It’s all just turning him on too much to drop the act.

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t ya?” Suna smirks when he sees the way your legs shake, barely able to hold you up as you’re fucking youself on his cock. The way you gyrate your hips, the way your tits bounce, the way his cock slides so easily in and out of you are slowly making him lose his cool. 

“I wouldn’t be needy if you helped me, Rin” your voice is breathy, soft moans escaping you. You try to give him an angry look, squinting your eyes slightly, only to widen them as you let out a loud cry when you feel him thrust sharply, his hips slamming into yours.

“Is that what you want, hmm?” his hands grab your ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he pulls you harder against him. He hissed. You were close. He could tell by the way your cunt milked his cock with every thrust, squeezing him. All he had to do was suck on those pretty nipples of yours and you’d come undone.

“You’re such an asshole” you gasped, each word getting roughly pounded out of you. Still, you couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips when you felt his plush lips latching on your nipple. The way he flicks it with his tongue sends tingles to your core. The last push is when you feel his teeth bite your sensitive bud, the pressure snaps, your body shaking, your hips grinding uncontrollably as Suna tightens his hold on you.

You look mesmerizing, your skin glistening with a sheen of sweat, your eyes closed and your pretty mouth open as you moan Suna’s name over and over. Watching you, he can’t hold it anymore and cums inside your twitching walls, filling you up as he’s kissing down your neck.

Atsumu

tw: teasing, orgasm denial, fingering, nipple play, dacryphilia, mindbreak

Whines and cries fill the room as you’re squirming under a smirking Atsumu. His fingers are buried deep in your drooling cunt, his mouth sucking and biting at your nipples. He pauses just as he feels your desperate walls throb and clench around him.

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t ya?” He feels his cock twitch at the sight of your fucked up face. Tears are welling in your half-lidded eyes, tongue is lolling out of your mouth, drool drips down your chin. You look perfect, Atsumu thinks. His perfect little slut.

“Please, ‘Tsumu, I can’t - I need to cum” you plead, your throat raw from the moaning and begging. You aren’t sure how much more you can take before your sanity slips.

This has been going on for at least an hour. Just as you’d feel yourself coming close, he’d stop, relishing how needy you were for him. Your luscious thighs spread, covered in the slick weeping from your perfectly pink cunt. It took all his self-control not to mercilessly shove his throbbing cock inside your hole and fuck you until you break.

He wouldn’t. Not yet. He knows you can take more. Your back arches when you feel his fingers move again, scissoring, pressing against your sensitive spots as his thumb rubs your clit. Your vision blurs, heels digging into the mattress. He hisses when he feels your nails scratch the skin of his back.

“‘Tsumu, please” you try to articulate, but your words are too slurred to be coherent. He grins. Now you were ready for his cock. With a pop, he pulls out his fingers, licking your juices with a satisfied hum. You let out a desperate whine, your cunt clenching around nothing, the emptiness inside you driving you crazy. 

He pushes his tip past your rim without much effort, your drenched walls sucking him in with ease. He watches your chest heave up and down when he bottoms out inside your cunt, your legs shaking as you struggle to take his length. That’s his good little slut.

You look prettiest with his cock splitting you open, he thinks as he starts slamming his hips against yours, enjoying the way your walls clam on his length with every thrust.

Oikawa

tw: teasing, oral (f receiving), fingering, reader on phone w/ someone else

Oikawa is good with his mouth. And not only when it comes to talking everyone’s ear off. You writhe when you feel his hot tongue slide across your clit, just barely touching the aching bud. You buck your hips, trying to feel more, desperate to get Oikawa to touch you properly.

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” he chuckles, spreading your folds to get a better look at the way your muscle rim was clenching around nothing. It was so hypnotising. He could see just how much you ached for him, how much you need him to make you cum. 

He is pulled out of the reverie when your phone rings. You scoff when you look at the screen, the last thing you want is to get interrupted, not when you have Oikawa’s face between your open legs. But at least you didn’t start yet, you should just answer and get it out of the way.

“Hi mom, yeah, I’m good, argh-” a moan escapes your slightly parted lips when you feel Oikawa’s finger tracing your slit, gathering your slick, teasing your sensitive nub. “No, no, I’m okay, I just stubbed my toe” you lie, doing your best to control your breathing as you feel the setter push a lithe finger inside your tight cunt. He watches the way your face contorts just a bit from the pressure, a devilish smile plastered on his  pretty face.

You swear silently. Your mom won’t stop chatting. You don’t want to be rude and end the call, and truth be told, the threat of getting caught is turning you on even more. That, and Oikawa’s teasing grin when he adds a second finger, scissoring them. 

“Fuck, I want to see you squirm, see how long it takes you to cry out my name” he whispers with a smirk. He watches your chest heave when he lowers his head again and presses his mouth to your aching clit. Your free hand grabs at his hair, pulling, eliciting soft whimpers from him. 

When he adds a third finger you gasp, air leaving your lungs as your back arches, your pliant body responding to his every touch. You can take it, just a bit more, you think. But you don’t get to finish your thought, not when you feel the way he curls his fingers, rubbing your sweet spot with every move. The coil in your abdomen tightens, you’re close now, but not there yet, not for a little while longer.

And then you feel it, his lips closing on your clit, sucking, his tongue flicking it. “Gotta call you back, mom, sorry, the door-” you desperately press the end call button, just as your body starts to trash, your thighs squeezing Oikawa’s face as you chant his name “Tooru”.

© 2021 all content belongs to @cherrysdollhouse​, please do not modify or repost without permision

[headspace-hotel]

also there’s an important analogy I think needs to be made about clinical diagnoses of mental illness

Does everybody remember that post that was talking about how manatees were removed from the endangered species list, and then it was added that this wasn’t actually because their populations were increasing, it was just that their protections as an endangered species were removed?

It’s like that. Mental illness labels are like endangered species labels. They are both made up, they both describe something real to an extent, but the lines defining them can be very arbitrary. And they conceivably wouldn’t be necessary in a perfect world.

But just like the answer to manatees’ decline isn’t to take them off the endangered species list, the answer to mental health problems isn’t to do away with labels. Because—just like if manatees aren’t endangered anymore, we won’t be closely tracking all their populations and setting up wildlife refuges in important habitats and spending lots of money on educating boaters on how to avoid manatees—if we don’t have some way of “labeling” conditions, people won’t be able to easily access information that might help them and ask for the accommodations they need and connect with other people on the basis of shared experiences.

This goes for neurodivergencies too. It especially goes for them.

I know “autism” is a made up label, and to an extent arbitrary. But—do y’all seriously think the only benefit it’s given me is some kind of “identity” related thing?

Before I started reading online about autism, I did not know what sensory issues were. I had them, but I could not identify them. I knew that I would often be very exhausted after social events and would often become very upset and cry. I knew that sometimes eating was very hard for me, and my nutrition was bad. I knew that I hated going to certain things, but I couldn’t articulate why.

Without the “label,” I could not have described or even found out what was happening to me. As a kid I couldn’t tell you “I don’t like events that are loud” or “I don’t like certain kinds of touch” because I didn’t know that. I just knew that the world was scary and sometimes I felt awful and overwhelmed and there were some patterns but I couldn’t interpret them.

My parents didn’t seek out a diagnosis because of anything related to sensory issues either. I thought things were like this for everyone! I just didn’t know why I had to cry so much and be so irritable.

Like, shit, I’ve had a completely debilitating fear and hatred of doctors and medical procedures my entire life and I could never identify why, and I hurt and traumatized myself further not knowing it was an Autism Thing because I couldn’t communicate my needs or concerns because I genuinely didn’t know what they were. I thought everyone felt like I did! I thought when people joked about going to the doctor being unpleasant, they were referring to things like having recurring nightmares about it and shaking uncontrollably from being in a doctor’s office and feeling panicky from having a nurse move in their peripheral vision.

I hate when people talk about how excessively labeling neurodivergency is somehow stifling or oppressive. I need more words, not fewer. I don’t even necessarily believe that characterizing something as a ‘disorder’ is always bad. “That hurts” is a label and a characterization of something as wrong, and when I’m in pain I don’t want people to create a society for me where it’s okay to be in pain, I want someone to help. Things will still hurt in a world where everyone’s needs and feelings are okay! Sometimes they will hurt in non-normative ways! It’s not possible to completely eliminate the ideas of a “normative” way to experience distress!

Like, I think people have this idea that in a Perfect World, autistic people will be able to be like “yeah, I need quiet environments because I’m very sensitive to noise” and have that accommodated without a “pathologizing” label for it.

But when I was diagnosed and began to do research about my condition, I was able to buy clothes based on my sensory issues. I was able to start wearing earplugs to noisy environments. I was able to plan my activities around what would drain my processing energy and give myself adequate time to recover. I couldn’t have done anything like this before because I didn’t know what was causing me to suffer.

I still feel obviously, painfully Other to most people in social environments. I don’t know if that will ever go away. You can theoretically create a society where accomodations are freely available to everyone without “pathologizing” them, but how do you create a society where no one is Other even if their physical perceptions and entire experience of the world is different? How do you talk about sensory differences without labeling some experiences as different? How do you create a world where it’s okay to be autistic if “autistic” can’t be meaningfully differentiated from anything else?

Defining disability and mental illness based purely on accommodating people without labeling them assumes that people can articulate how they are suffering and what they need without “labeling” vocabulary for it. And I just don’t think that would work as well as people think it would.

Sensory overload doesn’t feel like sensory overload until you know what sensory overload is and how it might apply to you. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. It feels like coming home from a party and crying and feeling angry, or snapping at people when they try to ask you things, or just feeling nauseated and like your skin wants to crawl off when you’re sitting at the dinner table. Even if you know what sensory overload is, if you’ve never been able to directly and obviously associate your reactions with stimuli, you might not feel it applies.

I’ve struggled so much with my own experience of my body and world and how it’s different from other peoples’ experience and how to explain and identify things I feel and experience. But if I wasn’t able to label myself as autistic, I would not have recognized my suffering as suffering or fully understood that it was “suffering.” I would have just been anxious and exhausted in such a vague, unclear way that it would limit my life, and I feel sick at the thought of a society that would reassure me that it was “okay” to not want to pursue anything outside of my house without giving me words to describe why that was happening.

Sometimes you can’t tell you’re suffering because you’ve never felt anything better. It’s as if people assume there’s this level of feeling okay that everyone will successfully identify as how they could be feeling, and it’s just not true. Sometimes you can’t tell you’re suffering because youre so out of tune with your senses and emotions that you can’t identify something you’re feeling as worse or better than something else, or at least not outside of the immediate moment. Sometimes when you learn about a “label,” that’s the first time you realize, “Wait. Things can be different?”

Idk. I can’t vibe with the ‘labels r bad’ side of mental illness conversation. Labels are always going to be incomplete but they are also always going to be necessary, and they facilitate the process of asking for accommodations. The idea of eliminating “normal” and “abnormal” as categories of experience is appealing until you spend most of your life not knowing “abnormal” existed and just thought “normal” felt bad and difficult.

[tenkasato]

Hellow, Ten~ May I make a request with some Gojo comfort fluff? Something like what you wrote with Megumi x nurse reader? Alittle angst if you must? TY in advance!

Alright. It was supposed to be angst... but it turned out more fluff than angst which I HAD NOT intended. There's a sprinkle of angst so I hope you like that, anon. Enjoy!

A Modest Invitation

Scenario: Gojo is feeling down, and you have ways to entertain him.

Warning: suggestive language, swearing, overloaded fluff I guess

As far as Gojo Satoru was concerned, this was his favorite time of the day.

Business was the same as usual. Curses to exorcise and erase from existence. Problems to mull over and draft solutions to. Children to nurture and guide. And so on, so on, so on, and so forth...

Mind you, being the strongest sorcerer doesn't exempt you from feeling burned out.

He buried his face unto your stomach, nuzzling his nose on the thin fabric that covered your skin and inhaling your fresh, floral scent. Being able to touch you, to feel your existence palpable under his fingers gave him a relief that kept him sane for the past few days.

You were still here. Alive. Breathing. With him.

"Not going to tell me I’m heavy?" he asked as he smiled against you.

You clicked your tongue, and with a trace of amusement and affection, you said, "You won’t be getting off me even if I did, right? So, what’s the point?"

"My wife is such a smart woman."

"Sure am," you snorted.

He felt your hand run through his still wet hair in ginger strokes, straightening the tangles at the tips and drawing circles on his scalp. He heaved a heavy sigh.

Your fingers stopped midway between a stroke. "Something wrong, Satoru?"

Satoru raised his head in surprise. "Huh?"

You rolled your eyes at him. “Oh, come on. I’ve known you since we were in diapers. I know what every sigh you make means.”

Satoru held you in his stare, and you couldn't help but drown into those aquamarine eyes that engulfs your whole existence. You loved those eyes. You loved them dearly.

“I heard you worked with your ex today,” he said in a quiet voice. The unease in his tone made you blink. He had tried to speak with nonchalance but you heard the apprehension nonetheless.

"Is someone jealous?" you teased, the smirk in your face unconcealed. "Glad the day finally came."

He snapped his head up to meet your gaze, lifting his torso up with his arms so he could properly fix you a heated, sullen glare. "Not funny."

"Oh, come on. I used to get jealous of your ladies before. Give me a chance to be the one getting jealous over this time."

"That doesn't sound fair," he whined this time. Satoru crawled towards you until his face was directly over yours. "You're doing it on purpose."

You stared back at him innocently. "And why would I do that?”

He lied down beside you with his arm caged around your torso. You shifted and snuggled up to him.

You reached out to his face as if to console him, pressing the pads of your fingers on his jaw and thumbing his lower lip. You stayed like that for a couple more minutes, basking under the dim light by the corner and plainly listening to each other’s breathing. He thought you had fallen asleep when you had stopped moving, until he felt a light pressure on his chin.

“Jokes aside,” you started when he finally got a look at you, “are you okay? I didn't think you'd be bothered by something like that. You know there's nothing to worry about my ex, right?”

Glancing away, he said, embarrassed, “It’s… I feel so insignificant lately.”

The stare you returned was so intense he could feel your eyes boring into him even without having to look at you. You didn’t ask him to elaborate. You waited, knowing he needed time to articulate his thoughts. Sometimes, he wished you weren't this receptive to him. Being so weak in front of you made him loathe himself even more than he already had.

The day you got married, he poured his heart out with promises of being your respite, your fortress, your source of joy. He thought he could, but with all the responsibilities piled on top of his head, he realized he couldn't give you all the time you deserved.

How many times had he missed your call?

How many times did you have to sleep on the bed at night, cold and alone?

How many times did you hide your tears from him because you didn't want to be an additional burden?

“Look at me,” your voice was a mere whisper.

Reluctantly, he did. He gazed at your serene smile, a glimmer of adoration covering your eyes with a sheen.

Then, with all sinceirty and seriousness, you said, “Wanna fuck?”

Taken aback, Satoru recoiled from you, nearly knocking himself out of the bed. He gaped at you as if you’d just openly admitted being a vampire for a century now.

You let out a string of rude laughter at his stupefied state. “I really love it when you blush like that.”

“You—aren’t you being too bold with—with—you know what? Never mind,” he groaned and inched back into your outstretched arms. “I should’ve been used to your unpredictable, horny episodes.”

“Hey, I ain’t horny now,” you retorted, slightly scandalized. “It just looked like you could use some.”

“It’s hardly the time,” he grumbled with the roll of his eyes.

You, with all the theatrics of a broadway actress, pressed your hand on your chest and gasped. “Oh my goodness. Who are you? My husband would never have turned me down for sex.”

He hissed your name with a warning tone.

The mischievous mold in your face ebbed away like melting wax. Your eyes were speaking to him in a language he could not decipher, in a volume so quiet it was deafening. Whatever emotion you were trying to emanate to him, the unsaid promise of devotion and love—they were so painfully genuine it made his heart ache.

Your face broke into a smile, bitter and sweet, and he found himself returning it.

Suddenly, your smile evolved into nasty Cheshire cat grin, and that alone should’ve been enough cue for him to retreat. But he was a second too late from reacting when your hand shot out and pinched his nose hard.

He let out a yell of utter surprise and pain, earning a roar of thunderous laughter from the despicable you beside him. Cheeks burning, he grabbed his pillow and without preamble, threw it at your face.

You squealed at his sudden retaliation. Wasting no time, you released your battle cry and threw your entire frame in an attempt to tackle him. He smirked at the futile attack but his cockiness came blowing in his face when you poked at his sides.

“Hey!” he yelped as you tickled. “Hey—haha—HEY—“

“Do you—“ you grunted as he pinched your cheeks raw, “—yield?”

“Hell no,” he spits, “not when I’m winning—pAHAHAHA—!”

Satoru took you by surprise when he wrapped his legs around you, pinning his knees on both sides of your hips and twisted his body. You weren't given a chance to yell. Your back connected with the bed with him sitting on top of your thighs, a triumphant grin painted on his face.

“Do you yield?” he asked, catching your wrists before you took another jab at his ribs.

“You do know,” you huffed, “that I can take you down. If I wanted to, yeah?”

“I have no doubts,” he chuckled almost proudly. “But you’re too pure-hearted to hurt the love of your life.”

“Hmm... cocky little bastard.”

“But you love me,” he insisted.

You exhaled in exasperation. “Come here before you suffocate my thighs.”

Laughing, he obliged, lying back beside you all ruffled and warm inside. As you had always, you scooted closer and laid your head on his chest, arm and leg thrown over the rest of his body.

Your sigh of contentment was music to his ears.

“Feel better now?”

“A lot better.”

“Ready to talk now?”

He hugged you closer. He wanted to be closer even though he didn't know how to. If there's anything he's afraid of, it's not being enough for you.

“You matter,” you said, as if reading his frown and hearing his thoughts. “You matter the most to me.”

He turned to embrace you fully, planting a kiss on your forehead. His fingers gingerly ghosted your spine, easing you into his body.

“Hey, Sunshine.”

“Hmm?”

He let his hand slide down your back to your bottom and squeezed, his solemn features morphing to a wolfish smirk.

“Mind if I take you up on that offer?”

[pepper-up-potion]

l’amour de ma vie (Sirius Black x fem!reader)

Summary: when Sirius teaches reader French it turns into a confession of love.

A/n: this is cheesy, like maybe to the point of cringe. I think I got cavities just from writing it so read at your own risk. I wrote this really quickly this morning while I procrastinated watching my bio lecture so it’s not my best writing sorry.

Warnings: fluff like pure fluff. Mention of stress but it if you blink you won’t see it. There’s some crying but it’s happy tears. I can’t think of any others but please let me know if you do.

Word count: 1647 words

“Coucou mon amour.” He smiles as his girlfriend (y/n) walks into the gryffindor common room and sits next to him on the sofa.

“What did you just say?” She asks, nose and eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“I said hello my love.” He pushes a strand of her hair behind her ear before cupping her face and giving her a short kiss.

“Can you teach me other French words?” She asks as she stretches her legs out onto the couch and lays her head in his lap.

“Okay. Let’s start with an easy one. Bonjour.” He articulates. She attempts to imitate the unknown sound as best as possible. Her accent is thick but she still succeeds to pronounce the word. “That means hello right?” She asks and Sirius nods with a small smile. “I’m impressed.” He states.

“Here’s a harder one.” He licks his lips before saying “Beauté.” She tries her best to repeat the word having trouble with the last bit. The “é” sound is new. She can’t think of any English sound that resembles it.

“What does that mean?” She asks after several attempts. “Beauty.” States Sirius while pushing a strand of hair behind (y/n)’s ear. “Like you.” A deep blush covers her face. This has taken an extremely cheesy turn and she feels she should be displeased but butterflies fill her stomach and chills run down her spine. She covers her face and giggles a bit.

“Another word please!” She says rather loudly trying to diffuse the tension.

“Intelligente” The word flows from his mouth easily. She looks at him in shock.

“That’s a long word, how am I supposed to say that?” She throws her hands in the air to emphasize her point.

“Well, it’s quite similar to an English word. Just think about it.” He squeezes her shoulder encouragingly as she stops and thinks for a bit. He repeats the word for her a couple times and finally it clicks.

“intelligent.” She looks at him for confirmation and he smiles proudly.

“I knew you would figure it out. See you’re very intelligente”. He caresses her cheek as she repeats the word several times, trying to get the right pronunciation.

“Okay how about merveilleuse.” He suggests. She looks at him doubtfully. The word is long and sounds very little like any English word. He gives her an encouraging smile and repeats the word for her one more time. It’s completely butchered on her first attempt but after five or six more tries it sounds much better.

“What does that mean?”She asks once she’s satisfied with her pronunciation.

“Wonderful.” He smiles a smile she recognizes from times he’s done something devious. “Like you.” His voice has a flirtatious tone and he gives her his best smirk. She rolls her eyes but her smile betrays her as it pulls on her cheeks. She tries to cover it up but she knows he’s already seen it from the look of pride and success on his face. It’s the same look he has when he’s able to talk himself out of detention.

“Okay give me something else. Something that isn’t cheesy!” She says giving him a light push.

“L’amour de ma vie.” His face softens as he says the words. Certainty laces his eyes and he looks at (y/n) with absolute admiration. She blushes under the intense stare. He slowly runs his hand up and down her cheek. His hands are soft and warm. It’s a calming feeling, she feels comfortable and the stress of the day washes away.

“What does that mean?” She asks, dropping all attempts of saying the words.

“You.” He whispers simply before bending down and pressing a short kiss on her lips.

When he pulls away he sees (y/n) with thoughtful eyes and brows knitted, an absolute look of confusion. “That’s a little long to mean you. Don’t you think?” She finally asks.

Sirius raises his brow and puts a hand to his chest. “Are you questioning my knowledge of French?” He has a pretend look of shock on his face. She can’t help but smile and laugh it off but even after the subject has changed, she’s still running those four words through her mind.”

—————-

The next day (y/n) goes to the library early in the morning. She takes the piece of parchment where she had attempted to scribble down the words from last night. The most important were the last four words Sirius taught her. L’amour de ma vie. She was certain it meant something more than what he said it was.

She finds a French to English dictionary in the Muggle section of the library and starts looking for the words. She starts with l’amour. It takes a little while since she first thought the word started with an “l” but she eventually finds out the l’ stands for the.

She moves onto amour which she first thought was writing as amoor but she eventually finds the word a little ways down the page. The word means love. She writes it down next to the that she got from the “l”.

Next is de which was easy to find, it means of. She writes it down and moves onto the next word, just as easy to find. Ma is French for my which she once again scribbles down.

Finally she looks for the last word, vie. It takes a little while because of the silent “e” at the end but she finally writes life down on her piece of parchment. She looks down at the five translated words.

The love of my life.

She reads it over and over again. Her face feels hot, her hands feel numb and slightly sweaty. Her head is spinning a little and she mentally thanks her chair for holding her up because she isn’t sure her knees would work at the moment.

She thinks back at what Sirius said the night before. “L’amour de ma vie.” “You.” She is the love of his life. She sits at the table in the almost empty library staring at the piece of parchment for a very long time. Letting the words on the page sink in. A couple tears run down her cheeks. Her boyfriend, the man she has dreamed to spend the rest of her life with, thinks the same. He loves her and plans to love her for the rest of his life.

“There you are.” She hears a distant voice. It’s like it’s coming from behind a door or from another room. Sirius stops in his steps when he sees her state. She’s a table away, a motionless figure with tears running down her face. He speeds his pace and squats next to her chair.

“Hey” he says softly while gently squeezing her arm. (Y/n) jumps as she finally realizes Sirius’ presence. Her eyes widen when she sees him. She opens her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. Only a tear runs down her cheek again. Sirius reaches up and wipes it away with a concerned look on his face.

“What’s wrong (y/n)?” He asks. He tries to sound gentle but it’s a little stern. He hates seeing her like this and sometimes he jumps too quickly to solving instead of reassuring her.

She looks at him unsure of what to say. He looks at the table hoping to get a clue to the problem. He sees a big book laying open on the table, an ink bottle with a quill and a piece of parchment. He stands and grabs the parchment. He quickly makes sense of the situation and his eyes soften. He pulls out the chair next to (y/n) and sits to face her.

“It’s true you know.” He states. “I mean it.”

(Y/n)’s eyes glisten with fresh tears that she tries to hold back. A slight panic runs through both their minds as he thinks she maybe didn’t want to hear that and she tells herself she needs to say something before he starts worrying. They both open their mouths to speak and both close them when they see the other has done the same. Sirius chuckles lightly before placing his hand on (y/n) knee.

“I was going to tell you last night but I got too chicken. I was worried you weren’t ready to hear that. I’m sorry you had to find out like this instead of through me.” There’s a silent pause. “Might I add that I am thoroughly impressed in your research skills. I’m amazed you were able to figure that out.” He looks at (y/n) with absolute admiration as he shakes his head in disbelief.

(Y/n) finally musters up the strength to say something.

“I-“ she tries to look him in the eyes but it feels too intense. His love for her is written all over his face and it’s overwhelming for (y/n). She takes a deep breath and looks down at her hands as she plays with one of her sleeves nervously. “I love you. It feels right when I’m with you and I don’t want to experience that with anyone else so I guess you could say - she finally looks at him - that you are also l’amour de ma vie.”

Her pronunciation is terrible and they both know it. They laugh a little, (y/n)’s cheeks are rosy from the confession and the embarrassing French. Sirius has a smile from ear to ear as he thinks how cute she is.

They lock eyes again and fall silent. “I love you (y/n). Now and always.” It sounds like a promise. She takes his hand as she gets up, pulling him up with her. They both have tears in their eyes as they hold each other in a tight embrace.

“Me too Sirius, now and always.” She muffles into his chest. They both smile, feeling incandescently content holding l’amour de leur vie.

[soleilsuhh]

nct 127 reaction to their best-friend getting cheated on !

warning: mentions of cheating.

[✿] — TAEIL.

just by looking at your face, he would know immediately that something happened. worried, he would ask you what was wrong but won’t push you to talk unless you want to.

when you do tell him, he would feel a flash of anger but that would only last for a split second before that’s replaced by genuine worry for you.

he‘s actually really calm and mature about it; patiently listens to you, be your shoulder-to-cry-on, offers both advice and soft words of encouragement, attempts to make you laugh. he also becomes more physically affectionate so expect lots of hugs, back rubs, and pats on the back.

not the type to go and confront your boyfriend/ex or start a fight, but would definitely stick by your side more than before now, just in case he came and bothered you.

“who needs him anyway? you have me,”

[✿] — JOHNNY.

after finding out, you feel so devastated and empty that you can’t even cry yet. but almost instinctively, you find yourself on your way to johnny. and he’s in the middle of a phone call but when he sees you approaching him in such a state, he ends the call immediately and rushes over to you.

when you explain what you just found out, of course he’s beyond angry but he tries his best to remain calm and collected for you. with one arm, he pulls you into a hug, reassuringly rubbing your back and head, softly whispering words like “it’s okay.” but little do you know, the other hand that was in the pocket of his jacket is clenched so hard as his mind thinks of every possible way to get back at your ex-boyfriend.

he lets you cry and when he senses that you have calmed down a little, he tries to lighten the mood a little. “should i kill him for you?” “no.” “are you sure? i can make it look like an accident.” “no. i’ll just call him and break up with him.” “what was that? you want me to break his leg?” “no, stop,” you laugh despite your situation. seeing you laugh makes him feel better and he engulfs you in a tighter hug.

[✿] — TAEYONG.

he’s the kind of person who knows and senses something is off about your boyfriend way before you do and he tries to let you know about it respectfully. he even tries to subtly yet firmly warn your boyfriend.

when you do tell him after finding out yourself, he is not surprised even though he is lowkey exasperated and disappointed that your ex-boyfriend did this to you.

also extremely sad to see you hurt.

“you can say it,” you mumble into his shirt, your head resting on his shoulder.

“say what?” “say ‘i told you so.’” he is quiet for a while then sighs, “it’s not your fault, y/n,” he says, rubbing your arm in a comforting way.

he then cooks your favorite food for you and pretty much tries not to leave your side for the next few days, partly because he doesn’t want you alone after such an upsetting experience but also because if your ex ever comes to bother you, he doesn’t want you to have to deal with the jerk alone.

[✿] — YUTA.

oh boy. he’s not gonna take the news well at all.

and your breakup is a really bad one; not only is your ex unapologetic about the situation, he tries to pin the blame on you.

when you tell yuta, he’s so angry that he can barely think; all that is on his mind is to go and beat him up. but seeing and hearing the sound of you crying brings his attention back to you and. as much as he is itching to get back at your ex for hurting you, he knows you need him right now. he is a pretty silent comforter — just being there for you quietly and listening to you attentively.

however, the next night, your ex nervously approaches you and profusely apologizes to you, admitting his mistakes and that he doesn’t deserve you. he does sound sincere but he also sounds nervous. the 180-degree change in his attitude shocks you but you take this opportunity to say whatever you want and need to say for closure.

the next day, you’re walking with yuta and you bring up what happened last night. his only reply is, “i see,”

a wordless moment passes until you say, “it was you, wasn’t it?” he shoots you a knowing look with a smirk then shrugs. after a second, you speak again, “seriously what did you do? he was practically shaking,” “good.”

[✿] — DOYOUNG.

he was the first person you went to after you found out. you pressed on his door bell and not long after he opened it. before he could say anything, his arms are full of you as your face presses into his shoulder, sobbing quietly.

he is confused and even more than that, he is filled with concern as his protective instincts take over. he cautiously brings you further into the apartment, holding you steady as he locks the door. when he feels that you are calmer, he pulls away from the hug and cradles your face with both hands as he looks you, “what happened?” 

despite his anger, he’s a very comforting and nurturing person and he comforts you very well; reassuring you that it’s not your fault and that you will find a better person. 

he doesn’t feel the need to throw hands at your ex but he does something even worse. your ex feels like the biggest trash in the world and doesn’t even dare to put his head up around you or him anymore. and all doyoung did was talk to him. but with doyoung, words are dangerous; he doesn’t need to use words that are just outright insults, he can say things in a very articulate way to attain a deeper and more long-term effect.

since the incident happened, he decides that it is his job to make you happy and honestly, he’s more than willing to do so. 

[✿] — JAEHYUN.

you call him crying in the middle of the night and when he hears your voice and your sobs, the worry immediately replaced the sleepiness. and not long after, he’s already out the door, driving over to you. 

his reaction is actually very calm despite the initial rush of disbelief and anger. he doesn’t want you or him to bother with your ex; his main focus is to make sure you’re okay and help you move on. 

calls you every night and texts you frequently throughout the day. 

takes you out to fun hangouts to help you forget and remind you life is even more awesome without your ex.

gives your ex cold glares when you guys run into him and leads you away from him. 

[✿] — JUNGWOO.

he won’t be able to believe it when you tell him. he would feel so many emotions: shock, annoyance, anger. but mostly, he would just be really sad and hurt simply because you’re hurt and he hates to see you like this.

if you haven’t broken up with him, he would give you advice on how to bring up the subject and how to leave him. if you have already broken up, he would give you advice on how to move on while also offering you uplifiting and encouraging words.

would watch chick-flicks with you, buy you lots of comfort food, and offer you tissue and rub your back while you cry. encourages you to let it all out whether it’s anger or sadness.

[✿] — MARK.

you’ve already texted mark about it almost as soon as you found out.

he texts back immediately: “where are you right now?” 

when he gets to you, the first thing he does is hug you and he comforts you as best as he can but when your ex walks up without knowing that you found out about him cheating, mark’s eyes instantly hardens, his face turning into a poker face. 

all he can think of is beating him up but he knows it’s not about what he wants right now. he looks at you to silently asking you what you want to do and seeing that you just wanted to be nowhere near the cheating asshole right now, he understands immediately and takes you away. 

when the guy tries to get in you guys’ way, mark would shoot him a glare, warning him to back off and his eyes would be so intense that the guy would most definitely be compelled to obey. 

“stay away from her.” 

[✿] — HAECHAN.

the girl that your boyfriend (soon-to-be ex) was cheating on you with sent you a picture of them together. you are on a hang-out with haechan when you receive it and seeing the change in your expression, he asks you what’s wrong.

you can’t even get the words out; you simply show him the picture and it’s an understatement to say he’s pissed. 

“i’m gonna break his neck.” he says in a fit of anger but of course you know he won’t actually do that. seeing how down you look, he tries to remain calm and asks you if you want to go home. 

you break up with your ex over text. but the whole night and next day he won’t stop calling and at some point, donghyuk gets so fed up with it that he picks it up for you and goes out of the room to have “a talk” with him. 

and it worked. your ex never calls or bothers you again. he barely dares to look at you when you two run into each other.