#but idek what that means for me anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shittygothbitch · 8 months

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:;+-

#it's about to get So Cold for the next few days #and Zoe is Not looking forwards to it #she does Not like being cold!!!!#i just. idk what i want rn #i feel like shit today (mentally) (physically I'm great rn)#i showered early enough yesterday at least that i didn't do anything dumb #I'm rly trying to get back to some type of fucking normal #but idek what that means for me anymore #is this my new normal??????#...... fuck i hope not #if it is then....#i guess I'll just have to learn to deal #i want to talk to the people i love but I'm so scared of taking up too much space #to any readers: i love you. you've done so great so far. I'm proud of you. I'm sorry you've had to be strong for so long. please stay safe #and please stay alive #i love you

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starch1ldz · 2 months

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Friendly reminder; don't make queer ships straight by making one of them a woman! If you want one to be a woman, both should be women. You can't just make the small twink character a girl and not make his big buff counterpart also a girl it feels gross and fetishy cause at that point why are you shipping queer ships at all? Just find a straight ship? Subtract the twink from the equation all together you don't have to make him a woman to make the ship better in some way, he's adding nothing if you make him a girl then it's just the same ship we have a million times in any other media. Gay erasure in fandom space is so annoying cause it's like YOU LIKE THE GAY SHIP OBVIOUSLY, WHY ARE YOU MAKING THEM STRAIGHT??

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skunkes · 5 months

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Before: i cant tell if the way I've stylized this body is Right or not...i dont want people to think that I'm stupid and don't know what im doing so i guess i better learn anatomy

After: i have learned and am learning anatomy, but i dont want people to think that im stupid and don't know what I'm doing if i exaggerate it so I better keep the stiff, rigid, "correct" anatomy instead of stylizing it to fit 👍

#i mean it is better to learn anatomy but i dont think ill ever understand the Learn the Rules To Break Em thing #learning the rules just makes me nervous about breaking the rules. what if breaking em looks bad.#idek how to break them anymore bc it looks ''wrong''#i know its better for it to look ''good'' rather than looking ''right'' but idk how to do that anymore. bc i cant tell #if it looks good until 6 months have passed ...! idk its hard. i dont know what direction to take my stuff #i just know it keeps going forward and i never like the outcome until ive already started trying smthng else and now #its too late to go back etc #talkys #the same thing is happening now that im doing more animal anatomy studies 😭 im losing the whimsy or w.e

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faaun · 1 month

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ok let's catch up quickly

#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth #(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian #like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told #him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive #fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research #(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux #to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him #my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept #insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them #and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating #apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they #keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading #this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY #JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT #NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn #this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore #i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt #himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure #even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin #right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love #her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her #its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking #kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD #i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society #feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO #WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best #its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good #one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much

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marsixm · 3 months

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ive actually put myself in so many situations and seem to come out doing socially well, youd think at some point i could get it in my head im not irredeemably bad

#that post about dysphoria like ‘u feel like ur covered in slime and people will eventually see the rot’ rly truly hits it #idek if its dysphoria or autism or what at this point #maybe its everything #but shit #ive stayed at hostels and hung out with and chatted w complete strangers #i went back to my hs reunion this week and actually hung out w people i thought didnt fw me anymore #my coworkers generally seem to like me- its felt rare when one didnt which is a shocking percentage #ive maintained friendships with my core group of friends despite living w them for over a year (u know how that can go) and not #being able to participate in like half the activities they do (sex parties i dont wanna attend or im busy at work)#made internet friends. believe it or not there was a time as a teen i thought id never be able to do that!#shit bitch even the guy i like who i constantly worry secretly hates me #and i constantly worry only puts up with me etc #yeah he doesnt always seem to let me in much but he barely lets anyone in?#comparatively he does seem to let me in a lot #i really have to remember to put things in perspective sometimes #just bc im not in my holmes/watson era or facetiming someone all day doesnt mean im a lonely loser……. smh #there was once a time i had no irl friends. I CHANGED THAT. I DID THAT. i can do anything

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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i like actually dont want this blog anymore i've always loved my precious safe space but recently i've started to resent it...... but maybe instead of deleting it i should just log out and dont log in again for a while at least...

#and no idc abt what anyone thinks or im not saying this for any attention -_-#i cant say shit on here all of a sudden without rude comments and its like #im just some fkn miserable loser #im not an influencer (💀) or have like a lifestyle blog i want to advertise to ppl like #this is my diary yet (some) ppl think that everything i write is a personal attack or anyone else's business and im like... bruv wth 🙃#like idk its just not fun bc i have this blog as a diary not in a way to try to even get any attention #i dont even tag most of my things bc i want as little 'exposure' as possible 💀#im even anxious abt anyone reading this and judging me and laughing at me for #'thinking im all that' its just wild bc im literally just some good for nothing loser T-T #i mean also i get that this is the internet but i've been on the internet for so long and it is sm better #when u only have a small circle of ppl u interact w on social media like whatever app it is #the less ppl interacting observing and following the better bc like .. sksksksk idek 🤙🤙🤙#i feel like so far away from humanity and the world and too many ppl are just trash and i feel like im becoming the joker #and idk why i hold onto this blog and dont delete it #i dont know :(( i dont think anything really matters anymore but my blog is like a friend to me #and idk how to just cut the cord lolz 🤙#also being publically vulnerable is like so bad and never does anything good but like idk where to turn my blog is what i have atm :c #gah 😖😖😖😖😖

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bandzboy · 7 months

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not portugal being on election period and a party is saying they wanna criminalize abortion and not only that i saw these awful reactions of portuguese men on twitter and i genuinely wanna off myself rn

#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? YOU WNAT TO GO BACKWARDS #literally the same party that had their ex leader saying people feel ‘unsafe’ with immigrants #and were racism #like they are openly being misogynistic too #like i wish these men a very die in a hole i cant do this anymore #and people want me to date a portuguese men like bfr 😭😭😭😭#idek if i will safe anymore in this country after this tbh #tris.txt

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mayhem24-7forever · 4 months

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The first time I heard this song, they were literally the first thing I thought about.

(if you don’t like the edit, just don’t interact please)

#jo's edits #steve harrington #steve harrington edit #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler edit #stranger things edit #stranger things #idk what to tag this as #so ??? edit i guess #like to be clear i love these characters individually but i feel they don’t work together #which apparently means i’m an anti?#but also they’re literally a couple in the edit so i would usually tag it as that #apparently angst is not allowed in the ship tag?#idek anymore #don’t like don’t interact #i spend a lot of time on these edits and it really pisses me off when my only interaction on them is complaining about how i tagged it

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darcyolsson · 1 year

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whenever I see a post on here critiquing "fandom people" or getting upset w them interacting w a certain post about a social issue or whatever I get whiplash because we're literally on fandom people dot com.....???? that's like going to the circus and proclaiming loudly how much you hate clowns to a crowd of people who are also all clowns

#like im not as active in fandom spaces anymore but like im on tumblr #idek what to do here except reblog gifsets analyses sand poetry exerpts 😭😭😭#we all know fandom won the great hipster vs fandom war of the early 2010s #and like congratuations to you if youre still mainly here for the funny text posts and pretty pictures #but you mean to tell me theres NO lesbians talking about how theyre going to fuck that old fictional man on your dash? NONE???#personal

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iceicewifey · 1 month

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kinda wish shay (and gigi) had more connections with characters that weren't just my own ocs or canon characters

#kiki speaky #i mean i guess it's okay bc i can control exactly who does what to get their stories a certain way #which is fine yes but like #sometimes i wish someone else could just pop in and give my poor girls some friends that aren't also my creations #not even just that but like. shay's best friend is one of my ocs. gigi's was terence. after him she doesn't have one.#i'm not about to beg and plead about it or try to force anyone to make a random ass oc just for me #but at the same time i'm just #[stares longingly at friends' ocs]#maybe this has something to do with /me/ not having a best friend. hm.#gonna shut up before this gets venty. idek what i'm saying anymore #delete later

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ravenalla · 1 year

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The way before mando season 3 came out when I heard we were getting a 4th season I could not have been more hyped it wasn’t gonna be ending, and now when I see updated filming news about I couldn’t care less :/

#sigh #past me would have been going crazy waiting for news about when season 4 will start filming #speaks to how badly I hated season 3 when I don’t even want more of what was my favorite show #Also I genuinely just don’t think we are going back to the same Din and Grogu adventures vibes ever again #it seems pretty clear they are only interested in setting up an expanded universe for their other characters and the sequels now #plus I mean most of Din’s development have been rushed or ignored we can never get those missed opportunities back #so idek know anything they can do with his character anymore besides jut using him as a prop again to dump thrawn exposition #especially now that he’s working with cops 🤦‍♀️#the mandalorian #mando critical

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devilsrecreation · 3 months

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TLG characters as Jordybuzz quotes

Kiburi: What you need to do is go kill that bitch, Makuu!

Tamka: What? Why? Makuu’s such a good leader

Kiburi: Yeah, but he wants all the attention!

Tamka: Well that’s okay, I mean I don’t mind-

Kiburi: He didn’t invite you to his birthday party

Tamka: I mean, yeah that sucks, but-

Kiburi: He called you fat

Tamka: :0 THAT BITCH!

Simba: Hello little birdie, I’m the King. You can trust me! You don’t need to be scared (cut to Sumu ready to sting him) It’s not like there’s a murderer around. Wouldn’t that just be crazy?

Janja: Kenge! He’s angry! You called him little!

Bunga: Hey, I say it like it is, okay? It doesn’t make me a bitch

Scar: You need to run! Go and hide! In the woods! Away from here! Go!

Young Simba: *panicking* Oh….I love all this attention…

Scar: RUN!

Young Simba: HOYA! *starts running*

(More of a TLK quote but it was too perfect)

Human AU

Kiara: Hey, what’re you doing?

Zuri: *running inside* DON’T LOOK AT ME I DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY MAKEUP ON

Janja, after another failed mission: Okay so what happened was-

Scar: Shut your face. *chuckle* We have skinks everywhere, my dear

Janja: I didn’t know you had-

Scar: BOI SHUT UP-👹👹👹

Simba: Next time you try killing me, your scaly ass is going to jail. Makuu is so much better than you

Kiburi: Bitch, I-

Simba: YOU HOE

*Janja, Reirei, and Kiburi are fighting*

Ushari: Guys, stop it. Remember what Scar said. Just be peaceful😌 *hears a noise* ŴÆÆÆÆÆÆT?!?!👹

Scar/Zira: First lesson of being a crazy bitch: always give them false hope

Bunga: I’m going to kill you, you nasty crocs!

Makuu: Lion Guard! Lion Guard! They were just having some fun, weren’t you, boys?

Kutegemea/Bulky croc: I ripped out his fur

Maja/light green croc: I tried to drown his ass :D

Janja in Wonderland

Janja: The fuck is this place? I swear to go-

Zira of Hearts: Don’t breathe my air! Don’t look at me! DON’TEVENFUCKINLOOKATME! Guess what?

Janja: What?

Zira: I am the queen!

Janja: I don’t give a fuck

Zira: Fuck you! Everyone gives a fuck about me!

Janja: Shut the fuck up, you crazy loudass

Zira: And that’s the death penalty for you

Makuu: I’m dumping your ass, bitch!

Kiburi: Oh Makuu, where are the fucks? I don’t give any so where are they, I can’t find them-

Tamka: I’m not crazy, Kiburi. Just dramatic

Nduli: You’re a thousand times better than Makuu

Kiburi: I agree. But he is a threat to my popularity, which is why I’ve decided we should get rid of him!

Shupavu: Wow, you can see the Pride Rock fire from here

Ushari: Tell me who you are

Kiburi: ….Better than Makuu

#crack #idek anymore #also i know what hoya means in slang but in this context it’s just gibberish #i like to think the first one is how kiburi persuased tamka to help him kill simba tho #was originally gonna do scar and kenge but tamka fits better imo #just me being dumb #the lion guard

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transfagged · 1 year

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theres something there in ed having a mental health crisis spurred on by substance abuse (namely the cocaine like.... girl) and everyone around him except stede seeing it as an inherently evil act that means he is too far gone and never deserved kindness

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #im having THOUGHTS. thoughts abt how ed is leaning so far into the thought process of like #i will become what you say i am. if you say im horrible when i am trying to be good then what is the point in trying to be good anymore #and thoughts abt how stede who has been ridiculed his whole life and found comfort in ed bc ed showed him respect is now in turn giving that #same kindness back to ed out of love and compassion #like oh my GODi want to rip my hair out its so good #david jenkins pls like. idek man just be gentle w me im losing my mind already

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ellilyre · 1 month

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I think i have been feeling a bit "out of reality" lately. im not sure how to explain it

#i have no sense of time passing (whether for hours or days)#(idek what i mean by “lately” here. a couple weeks or a month or ?)#my hyperfixation still makes me feel things but its “distant”#all my emotions feel distant now #big things happen in my life rn and i should rly be worried and sad and excited #but it all feels so faint #i think thats the reason i dont write anymore #i dont have much emotion to put in my writing anymore #im almost constantly zone out. and most of the time im not even thinking of anything my mind is just blank #i dont think it feels real anymore #i dont think anything does #idk what im saying here this is not a vent im fine

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ame-to-ame · 3 months

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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them