#but if not i also have a nice peasant blouse & pants i can wear

[walterdecourceys]

decided to actually go buy my homecoming outfit this year instead of getting it from my grandfather and it was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life i think

[windermeresimblr]

Seasonal Outfits Lookbook

I was (indirectly) tagged by @murfeelee. So in honor of the hair cut I got last weekend--I had to! I was looking like Cousin Itt--have a somewhat accurate look at how I dress.  (I did fudge a little bit a lot on the outfits that weren’t “Work” or “Current Outfit,” because I’m kind of a slob and would live in yoga pants and a t-shirt all day if I could.)

Full shots of the outfits, as well as credits, behind the cut so I don’t clutter your dashes.

Current Outfit: Yoga pants and a t-shirt. Not very fancy. But when you’re not going anywhere, you know?

Spring: I still don’t know how to dress for spring! I just alternate between “sweaters” and “my warmer summer tops.” I’m not really a pastels person--I like more saturated florals. So have this mishmash of an outfit based on a long-gone Eunny Jang knitting pattern.

Summer: I don’t like skirts, mostly because a) I worry I’ll flash someone somehow and that’s just mortifying, and b) I don’t feel like I look good in them. Maxi skirts are an exception, even though I don’t wear them often. I’ve been thinking about the “china poblana” style of shirt a lot recently; I had a similar shirt when I was in my teens that my dad brought back from the homeland. (Which had no embroidery and tied in the back, but it had a similar neckline.)

Fall: Now that I live in the Northeast, I actually experience fall, which is still rather amazing to someone who lived in Florida and therefore alternated between “hot, humid, and buggy” and “hot, humid, and rainy” with a few months of “it’s nice out!” So, you know, sweater weather, pumpkin spice lattes (they don’t have to be iced anymore!!!), yadda yadda yadda. Also, florals are never--NEVER--out of season, in my opinion. Even in winter. The marvelous thing about the world is that there’s always flowers blooming somewhere.

Winter: I really like wearing a turtleneck dress over leggings, because it’s not as confining as wearing pants and--for some reason--people think you put effort into your outfit if you’re wearing a dress. Even if it’s basically the world’s saggiest sweater. Also, sometimes they forget we’re open on the weekends at work and it helps to basically be covered in six inches of knitwear while you’re waiting for the facilities crew to turn everything back on.

Work: I’m a librarian. The urge to grab a cardigan and a sensible pair of shoes is practically genetic. (I have a lot of respect for those who can carry heavy boxes, get elbow-deep into a printer’s guts, and shelve books in a skirt, but I’m not one of them. Also, the stairs at my library are treacherous even when you’re wearing pants.) I’m going to have to get back into wearing real shoes and not sneakers to work, yikes.

Credits / Shop My “Style”

Spring Outfit: Blouse by EA | Pants by EA (Supernatural) | Espadrilles by rollo-rolls

Summer Outfit: Peasant Blouse by hoschdwoschd2 | Maxi Skirt by Sims2fanbg | Clogs by Pixicat

Fall Outfit: Sweater and Shirtdress by Lilit | Oxfords by Pixicat

Winter Outfit: Turtleneck Dress by @ice-creamforbreakfast | Leggings by OneEuroMutt | Boots by @greenplumbboblover

Work Outfit: Cardigan and Shirt by Lutetia | Pants by PLBsims | Shoes by Pixicat

Current Outfit: T-Shirt  by EA (University Life, but edited by @buckleysims) | Yoga Pants by EA (Into The Future)

Basics: Hair by @sweetdevil-sims | Skin by @procrasimnation | Hearing Aids by editsim | Glasses by @aroundthesims | Mask by SkeletalScreams | Various Patterns by @simlicious | Books Accessory by Simenapule | College Poses by @danjaley | Copicish Palette by @pictureamoebae​ | PSD Template by @templatepsds​

I tag whoever wants to do this!

[rainandhotchocolate]

Movie Star

A/N Hello! This is another fun idea I’ve had, I want to write more so let me know if u like it! It’s Sirius x reader fake relationship trope cause I’m yet to do that and YES PLEASE anyway enjoyyyy lel

Y/N stared in the mirror. She was wearing her nicest pair of jeans and cropped black flowing top with matching black boots that she had spent three hours shining last night. She’d even done her hair so it curled softly down her shoulders, having practiced it for the last week. She’d done everything she had planned for today, a whole binder sitting in her bag (that she’d also polished), healthy snacks and sunglasses and a small bottle of vodka, just in case, but she couldn’t move from the mirror.

It was her first day on set. Ever. Living in LA had been one of the most challenging and painful thing Y/N had ever done, and she had been very close to driving home and just fucking becoming a full-time taco bell server but she received a call two days previous for a tv series role because the girl originally offered it had been offered to play Meryl Streep’s daughter in some likely million dollar movie.

“Y/N, get the fuck out of the bathroom and leave!” Lily’s voice screamed from the hall, her fists banging loudly against the door.

“I just… I just need a minute!” Y/N called back, flattening out her hair again. You can do this. You’ve read the script. A lot. A lot a lot. You’ve got this. Or maybe you’re going to fall flat on your face.

“I swear to god, Y/N, if you miss your first day I will actually kill you.” Lily was banging with her foot now and Y/N groaned.

“Ok, ok, fine. I’m coming out.” Y/N steeled herself and turned on her heel, marching out of the room. “How do I look?”

Lily gave her a once over, her lips pursed.

“Hot as hell, but just professional enough.”

“Perfect, ok I should go shouldn’t I,” Y/N picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder.

“Please do.”

Y/N pulled Lily into a tight hug and moved quickly out of the room. Lily called ‘Good luck’ loudly as Y/N slammed the door shut, struggling to pull her keys out of her bag with the amount of crap she had put inside it.

The drive was thankfully quick, and she pulled up to the lot in 23 minutes and 30 seconds feeling increasingly nervous and slightly worried that she might puke.

“ID,” the security guard sounded incredibly bored.

“Yes, right of course! It’s my first day so…” Y/N trailed off as she noticed the security guard had turned back to her phone. “Uh, here it is.”

The guard looked at it, checking the database before waving her through, the boom gate opening slowly. Y/N thanked the guard and drove through to the parking lot.

“Ok, lot 34, 34…” Y/N mumbled as she checked her phone, “Where the fuck is this.”

There seemed to be no numbers on any building, people moving left and right and screaming aggressively for her to move out of the way.

“Sorry! Fuck I cannot be late,” Y/N swore under her breath, feeling her heart rate increasing at the thought of being late and the director just firing her on the spot for being a trash actress who can’t even find a bloody set on time. She re-opened the email sent to her with the maps and details about the set, zooming in on 34 and trying to match it up where she’d walked from the parking lot, and smoothly slammed into someone’s back.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” Y/N winced, leaning over to pick up her bag and the things that had fallen across the floor.

“It’s totally fine,” a deep voice replied, the person she’d bumped into turning and bending down to help her out. “Here’s your… vodka?”

Y/N stood up and met the person’s eyes, nearly choking on her own spit. In front of her was the stupidly gorgeous, incredibly famous Sirius Black. He looked even better in person, and, frustratingly, had a goofy smile playing on his face as he handed her the bottle of alcohol.

“Oh, uh, I just am not really sure if I might need some kind of bribe and now that I’m saying it it sounds really idiotic, thank you.” Y/N grimaced, wanting to crawl into a hole.

“First day on set, huh?” Sirius laughed, popping the bottle into her bag.

“How did you guess,” Y/N sighed, “I’m very lost, any chance you would know where lot 34 is?”

“I would actually, it’s where I’m going as well.”

“I… oh.” Y/N had forgotten to read the cast list. In all her planning and panicking and memorising every aspect of the script and characters that she could, she’d forgotten to read the fucking cast list.

“You must be Y/N then? Replacing Amanda?” Sirius began leading the way towards set, Y/N struggling to keep up with his long legs and attempting to avoid staring at his perfectly styled dark curls that hung just above his shoulders.

“Yes! I got the call a few days ago.”

“You look familiar, what else have you been in?” Sirius pulled open a door to his right, letting Y/N go in first.

“Oh I actually… um… haven’t – “

“Y/N, Sirius, please get into hair and makeup we needed you on set 10 minutes ago!” A girl with bright blonde hair and a wild expression pointed towards two caravans to the side of the room. Y/N apologised and moved quickly away, having never been more thankful to be interrupted. She pushed the door open to hair and make-up, looking around awkwardly.

“Hey there! Y/N?” A girl with short brown hair and bright pink spiky earrings grinned at her.

“Yep, that’s me.” Y/N followed her into the small room that was covered in boxes of different make up, paints and wigs hanging up against the walls. The entire front of the caravan was covered in mirrors, a chair in front of each one.

Y/N sat down in the chair the girl directed to, staring at herself awkwardly in the mirror.

“I’m Alice, I’ll be your hair and make-up gal for this season, hopefully the next one but here’s hoping it’s picked up,” Alice began to fiddle with Y/N’s hair, pulling it up and around her shoulders whilst she spoke. “So have you read through the whole script? It’s definitely the coolest thing I’ve worked on so far, and lets be real we’ve all dreamed of working with Sirius.”

Alice actually waggled her eyebrows, grinning at Y/N.

“Yeah it sounds like a cool story,” Y/N mumbled, her eyes watching Alice’s hands closely, wondering what she was going to do to her.

“So cool!” Alice pulled her hair up into a bun, pining up the loose strands and standing in front of the mirror to look at her face. “I’ve gotta ask, how did you react when you found out you were getting to kiss Sirius? I think I would have screamed the house down.”

Alice giggled, grabbing out a brush and primer, beginning to smear it across her face. Y/N resisted closing her eyes and smiling absent-mindedly as the feeling of the brush swishing across her face almost made her forget what Alice just said. Once she’d lifted the brush Y/N replied.

“Is Sirius… is Sirius playing Aramis?” Y/N felt her stomach twist, Alice, testing a couple of foundation types on Y/N’s wrist before dabbing it across her face.

“Yes! Didn’t you read the cast list?”

“Apparently I’m not that smart,” Y/N muttered, wanting to kill herself. She could have prepared for this, researched him, previous roles, kissing style, not panicking when he leans in. You fucking idiot.

“Don’t worry, the amount of people who haven’t read the script by the first day on set would surprise you,” Alice’s warm smile seemed to calm her slightly, likely alongside with the soft brush sweeping over her cheeks and eyes.

“Are there…” Y/N paused, unsure if she wanted to admit that she was sort of new to the whole filming thing, or if she would be accidentally humiliating herself.

“Hmm?” Alice gave her a look, holding the brush back, “You ok?”

“Yeah, just nervous.” Y/N gave her a small smile.

“Well either way, you look amazing,” Alice stepped away from the mirror and behind Y/N’s chair so she could see herself in the mirror. Y/N leaned in to look at herself, or herself 2.0. Alice had somehow highlighted angles in Y/N’s face that she didn’t even realise she had, her eyes highlighted by the subtle brown eyeshadow and liner.

“Holy shit, you are good.”

“You’d hope so,” Alice breathed out a laugh, letting out Y/N’s hair. “Now I’m sorry in advance because you’ve done your hair so nicely, but we are starting with the second scene today and you’re about to have your hair absolutely destroyed by some back combing.”

“I’ll forgive you,” Y/N laughed at her genuinely apologetic expression, grimacing when she held up the brush like a knife.

“Here we go.”

Alice gave her a hug when she left the caravan, wishing her luck like they had been friends for the last seventeen years and pointed her towards costumes. Four girls and two guys swarmed around her, holding up multiple tops and pants that looked exactly the same but with slight differences in the colour. Y/N wondered if they’d made them after the previous girl had cancelled, Y/N had given her a thorough stalk and immediately noticed the very big skin tone difference. They handed her a peasant blouse and linen pants, letting Y/N slip them on behind a curtain before circling her again once she’d changed, handing her a pair of lace up brown boots.

Y/N walked towards set, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly with each step. Someone knocked her lightly on the shoulder.

“Love the new look.” Sirius smiled at her, his hair looking somehow better.

“Yes, it’s called the ‘my hair is secretly a bees nest’” Y/N matched Sirius’ quite fast pace, drinking in his loud, dog-like laugh, his head shaking back.

“Alice is honestly an artist,” Sirius grinned at her, leading her towards the director and producer who were huddled together next to the set of large village facades, a gravel path along the front.

“She is, this isn’t my real face,” Y/N felt her heart flutter as she made Sirius laugh again.

“Y/N, Sirius! Glad you’re here, we are running short on time today because apparently we’ve been bloody double booked,” the director hissed at the producer who grimaced apologetically.

“I just want to see how you guys run through the second scene, doesn’t need to be anything fancy, just want to see you on the set and then we will start blocking properly. Sound good? Good.” She didn’t wait for them to answer, pointing them towards the gravel pathway.

“Great,” Sirius smiled fixing his collar and moving towards the set, Y/N followed close behind him. Y/N took a deep breath, sitting down on the path, trying to stop herself from fidgeting and calm herself. You know this, you can do this.

“And, action!”

It was a mixture of exhausting and exhilarating, and a couple of times where Y/N became slightly too mesmerised with Sirius’ impeccable acting skills. Once she’d been dismissed Y/N began to walk awkwardly back towards the caravan where the costuming team had moved her clothing, a large set of letters with her name on it across the front. It was probably the most exciting thing she’d seen all day.

As she reached it, she was pulled sideways by a small girl with a sharp brown bob and perfect cat-eye.

“Hi, Mary, PR, I just need to chat to you and Sirius for a quick sec ok?” Y/N was dragged towards Sirius who had been chatting animatedly to Alice, leaning against one of the set facades. “Sirius, a second?”

“Yep, see you tomorrow, Al,” Sirius winked at her and she waved him off.

“Ok, don’t have a lot of time, need to be at a marketing meeting in 10 minutes. So as you’re aware you two are love interests in the show and we are already getting some great hype given that the books have been getting steadily more popular. We want to lean into the pairing, a couple of staged outings, nothing confirmed just hints, ok? I’ll set up some time to run through the times we are going to get you two to be together, and what to post up on your socials.”

“Wait sorry are you talking about pretending to be together? Like… like a relationship?” Y/N interrupted her, stuttering awkwardly and berating herself internally.

“Yes, I’ll call you tomorrow with more details, just want to keep you in the loop.” Mary shook both their hands in quick succession and sped off towards the exit, heels clicking loudly against the concrete. Sirius and Y/N said nothing to each other for a few awkward moments.

“Well, I guess we will be seeing a lot more of each other,” Sirius broke the tension, his hand tucking into the front of his jeans.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Aha. Shit.

 Taglist:  @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana​ @avengersassemblee​ @maraudersandco​ @sly-vixen-up2nogood​ @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad​ @evyiione​ @minerva26love​ @aikeia​ @gollyderek​ @greatwombatblaze​  @songforhema​  @your-typical-giggle @myownviperroom @hermionie-is-my-queen @demiwitch527

[skippyv20]

Hi Skippy, I would love to share some memories as the anon suggested. I was born in 1960. My mom made alot of my clothes until i was in second or third grade. She would make us matching tops or shift dresses of mostly cotton. Girls had to wear dresses to school and no one could wear sneakers unless you had a note from home saying that was your only pair of shoes. I remember culottes and Bermuda shorts and cotton tucked blouses, baby doll pajamas. Jumpers with turtle necks or blouses under them. I was a brownie and had to wear my uniform to school one day each week. One morning i was burping my baby brother and he threw up on my uniform so i had to change. I got my first pair of bellbottoms when I was 8. They were dark blue with white daisies all over and i just loved them. When I was about 11 or 12 my fellow students held a protest “walk out” and after that us girls could wear pants to school and the boys could wear their hair long. About this time I remember polyester, rayon and other synthetic fabrics coming on the scene. Pant suits, hip huggers, hot pants, body shirts that snapped, jumpsuits, ponchos, mini, midi and maxi dresses. I would sit on my moms bed while she got ready for dinner or parties. She had a beautiful cream lace pant suit and she just couldn’t decide if she should really wear pants to a formal occasion. She had peasant patchwork maxi skirts that had little metal bells on them that were so pretty. We also wore tennis dresses to play tennis which was almost as much fun as playing tennis! Then there were the gaucho pants and boots. Velvet, Quiana fabric was a big thing with the girls for prom dresses. My later high school wardrobe was pretty much jeans -Levis even corduroys. And peasant embroidered and Indian kind of tops. Oh this was also when i had to go to the army navy store to try to find osh kosh denim overalls- loved wearing these with a t-shirt or pretty sweater. And gunne sax things and prairie dresses and skirts. I loved to go to rock concerts with my best ripped at the knee jeans. (Genuinely ripped-lol). My graduation dress was a white gauze peasant dress with a ruffle. It was 1977, I was 17. When i was about 19-21 years old this was the pendelton plaid skirts and susan bristol sweaters and boots and blazers era- preppy stuff. It was also the beginning of jordache and “designer” jeans and labels on clothes and other things on the outside (!) I can still remember the jean commercials on tv and the beginning of the David Letterman show when Tom Snyder would be on after. I’m a night owl. jean jackets were big. This was when my mom got into Lands End and Eddie Bauer for basics. And Talbots. Also the wrap dresses and skirts- Bermuda cloth bags that you changed with buttons. Polo shirts. This is when i bought my first pair of nike sneakers and broke them in to see the Jerry Garcia band and Bobby and the midnights in concert (they played together the third set!! Almost like seeing the Grateful Dead) A couple years later i bought my first pair of black reeboks and would walk in NYC in them in my new skinny jeans or plaid skinny pants. (Have never really given up black sneakers except now they are sketchers-they tend to wear better, Reeboks can tear). Growing up, there were clothes for school, for play and for church and good. At Easter we had to have new clothes and hats and gloves. We had to wear hats or a small lace veil in a pinch to church. This was when mass was still in Latin. It has been nice to go back over these years. I am so glad to hear Mr. Skippy’s good news and wish him a speedy recovery. Its amazing what the Drs can do. How lucky you are to have each other. 🌷

What a wonderful post!  You write so beautifully.....I was reading and didn’t want it to end...I am left with wanting more....thank you so much for sending this in!  Memories!  Thank you for your kind words, I do believe Mr. Skippy and I are indeed blessed!  Thank you!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[hollywoodhangar]

5 things!

Tagged by: @silvcrreaper! thank you, dear! :’D this is a really cute meme! I’ll probably use it again in the future bc of that tbh. I’d like to do a lotta characters. Tagging: @mettatoniic / @corviudex, @wcrldlyadventures​, @tcthinecwnself, @scwewywcbbit, @wabbitseezun, @couragelinked​, @contractualsarcasm​, @heedingcalls, @bloominghands, @fairestfall, @blackstardiopside​ / @hellhogged​, & you!

doing this for red’s hardcore over-a-year fixation seriously this woman owns my ass at this point hhggh this thing got way too long!!

CLAUDIA P.

5 THINGS YOU’LL FIND ON HER PERSON.

Her mother's broken pearl necklace. It's very near and dear to her, she's held onto it like a security blanket as well as a trinket for luck & protection ever since Lord Phantomhive whisked her away to the estate. She keeps them safely tucked away in one of her hidden skirt pockets! Those of supernatural origin that are able to detect magical objects can sense there is a Divine blessing on it; it’ll never be lost to Claudia, and those who mean her ill-intent will have their hands burn when they grab at it - almost like they stuck their hand in flames. It’s a precious thing that Máire [ her mother ] has long since used in her prayers specifically to Brigid ever since she was twelve, so it’s instilled with her blessing! 

Her axe. Even when she’s retired, the Countess keeps her silver axe on her person just the same; tucked away in its renewed sheathe that’s hidden under a flap on the back of her dress [ fun headcanon: while undertaker takes his sotoba up from the top of his collar, she pulls her axe down from below ]. Divine magic also touches this weapon; a blessing from the Morrígan in which the blade is kept heinously sharp so long as she gets some sip her blood tribute, absorbing the splatter and gore through the axe’s silver surface and leaving it pristine. Should too long go by without it having a taste of blood it will begin to dull rapidly for the amount of years its gone untouched, but fortunately the Phantomhives never seem to run short of assassins, hitmen and abductors. Her Divine continues to be pleased.

An emerald poison ring. Silver, classy and adorned with the head of a wolf opening its maw to hold a shiny emerald. No one'd expect such a beautiful big gem hides such a heinous poison beneath! It looks pretty neat when she pops it open and the poison pours out of the wolf’s mouth.

[ Enchanted ] Skeleton key. A simple-looking golden key with hidden runes that activate when inserted into magical locks its made for, but it functions like a normal key as well. This key will open absolutely any door in the Phantomhive manor [ unless Sebastian’s room has the same thing going on! ] as well as the invisible locks she has guarding her forest altar. This is also the only thing that will open all doors leading into her bedroom [ the hallway and the balcony ] as those locks are spellbound to react to only the key itself. Vincent’s always tried to pick his way in but could never quite achieve it! I like to think he inherited his mother’s mischievously nosy curiosity. 

Her black choker with a deep green brooch embedded in its middle. It hides the scar paved along her throat from the attempted assassination. Don’t want anyone seeing that, especially not family. v_v

5 THINGS YOU’LL FIND IN HER ROOM.

Her bed, of course! Mahogany framed. It’s enormous, as to be expected for a Countess. It’s extremely soft, easy to sink into and piled with many lace-ended pillows. Heavy, wool-knitted beige blankets lay over the very top, plush to the touch and covering the white and green sheets beneath it. Deep green curtains with leaf embroidery are tied to the bed posts with dark brown rope, and close all around the bed when Claudia turns in for the night -- except for the curtains at the foot. Those stay partially open to absorb the heat from the fireplace. As for the back of the bed, she built it herself! It has an enormous, full-length mirror installed into its wooden frame and a long, smooth surface below for convenience. It has two lamps at both ends that are within reach. 

Lovely mannequins. Rested next to the balcony are two simple manniquens. One is the bearer of her Brigid cloak, the hood pulled up and draped over to obsfuscate the face. Its arms are stretched forwards, hands splayed up with the ceremonial cloth and ropes used for Claudia’s handfasting ceremony; the pearls that were wrapped around all that hanging from its neck. Opposite of that is the other manniquen. Covered with a deep, dark duster, a peasant blouse, tight black pants and thigh-high boots give off a familiar visage of the Countess during her Watchdog days. Around its waist hangs a very intricate rich brown leather belt with lots of slots in it, weaponized chatelaines and satchels with golden clasps - and a golden wolf head as the buckle in front center.

Secret compartments. Many secret locked compartments in the walls she installed herself [ ^ that can only be opened by aforementioned skeleton key, or a very determined and powerful supernatural force ], hidden behind landscape portraits and animal print wall tapestries. She keeps various things in them: Tonics & Poisons. These are very rare breeds of both, being highly efficient in what they’re made for specifically. There’s vials of strange-looking gnarled roots and various colored liquids stored in here as well, along with herbs (??) hanging from the top. Inheritance. The late Lord Phantomhive left Claudia a fortune, most of which she sent to charity, but kept her own sum for emergencies sake. But that is not all he left her; there’s a small pile of letters, some opened, some remaining closed with different seals. There’s also an envelope in here for Claudia specifically, opened and re-sealed. What’s inside is information concerning safe passage to a number of locations and a list of names. Near the very end, the Lord gave Claudia a way out if she ever felt the need to flee from the Phantomhive title; she’s the only blood left. He would not hold it against her to forfeit the Watchdog title, he’d be dead - he has no reason to care for anything at that point. It’s a very bittersweet gift Claudia’s gone back and forth more than once and plans to hand down to the Undertaker “if I go before he does”. She trusts him to hold onto it and give to any Phantomhive who starts feeling pushed to the brink. Altars. A small altar for each of her Goddesses exists in the walls, in twin compartments side-by-side, their doors marked with the carvings of an anvil and a raven. Brigid’s altar is warm, decorated with handmade trinkets and rolled up drawings. The Morrígan’s is dark, positively dark and dimly lit with this very small icy blue lantern that hangs from the top, and the rest of it is decorated with fans fastened from raven feathers and odd white-crimson candles -- that contain her own blood.  Memonto Mori. Death has been embraced around Claudia for so much of her life, so she’s dedicated her own reminder of that in a “.. yet I survived” way.  Mementos from the Famine in the form of mothbitten fabric from the nightgown she wore that entire time and a lock of hair that had fallen out, from the first attempt on her life by a kidnapper in the form of the rusting gun he had and the bottled flesh & muscle she tore from his throat that earned her the title “Wolf of Winchester” among the Aristocrats of Evil, from the nigh successful assassination in the form of the bloodied gown fabric and pressed white roses that wear dried crimson on their petals. There is nothing for the Phantomhive Fire. This rebuilt manor is a jarring memento mori of its own now. 

Cherry wood bookcases. It is stacked with books of worldwide mythology, folklore, natural remedies, strange leatherbacks, and lots of journals Claudia’s written personally over the years. There’s pictures of loved ones wrapped in oval-shaped, polished wooden frames, a lot of old wooden toys she made for her progeny that they’ve grown out of, a black onyx hand with all fingers lined with rings she made herself and holding an ornate athame. Currently, “Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus” sits with a long brown & white feather serving as a bookmarker. 

Urns. Three very precious porcelain urns that are specifically customized to fit the lives they belonged to: Vincent, Rachel, and Claudia’s seven hounds. While she drew the designs for Vincent and her hounds, she let Rachel’s parents decide how they wanted their daughter’s urn handled. She passed the drawings to the Undertaker and he made them to perfection. They rest on the previously mentioned bookshelf, side-by-side in a very gorgeous center display, with fresh white roses, rosemary, gladiolus & lilies from the garden surrounding them and small lanterns constantly providing a low, gentle golden light. There’s candles that have been melted to their hilts and others that are brand new.

5 THINGS THAT MAKE HER HAPPY.

DOGS. 

Mythology. Mythology and folklore have always been incredibly fascinating to her! They can easily eat hours away as she delves herself into learning more and more about them and re-reading the ones she already knows.

Family. I've said it once, I've said it twice, Claudia's a woman who adores to be surrounded by family. Her attempts to convince the Midfords to join with the Phantomhive household have gone shot down by both her grandson and her daughter. One day she’ll prevail. One day. She won’t but she can dream of having a full house again, let her dream.

The countryside. Honestly, the fact they live here instead of in the city was something of an immense comfort to Claudia because it’s a little reminscent of Donegal. She regularly takes Gelert for a walk and finds a nice green pasture to just sit in for a while and enjoy the wind. It brings such a huge wash of calm and relief and what she turns to when feeling absolutely stressed, anxious or angry. Her natural dopamine hit!

Sweets. The Countess has a bad sweet tooth like her grandson and loves to eat sweet things, including things of her own baking and creating! Wave any delectable sugary sweet before her face and you have her attention - not her compliance, but her attention. [ 1v1 phantomhive discourse is continuously stealing the other’s treats. she doesn’t even recall who started it but it is an on-going War. ] 

5 THINGS SHE'S CURRENTLY INTO.

Infinite woodworking! She has several projects going on at the moment, one being a boat and another being a marionette bitter rabbit she’s eventually going to get around to painting. Both gifts!

Foraging. Sure she can easily send the servants to buy this stuff from the market, but she likes to retrieve them herself. There’s a lot of berries and edible/medicinal plants in season right now and she’s pretty happy about that. :) Mulberries galore.

Reading. Very good exercise for her brain as she’s getting a little more forgetful in her old age, so keeping it busy with things like this strengthens her mentally. At the moment she’s not only reading Frankenstein, but she’s also reading about Japan mythology! That, and about strange monsters & creatures encountered at sea, actual accounts taken down by the author of the book who interviewed many-a sailor. 

Hunting. Not only does it give her a grand excuse to get out of the manor, but she needs to keep her archery sharp and Gelert in shape. 

Summer Games. Speaking of which, she has a title to defend! Sporting events are beginning to ramp up and the Phantomhive name continues to hold first place in the Archery branch, much to the chagrin of many who try their aim & speed against the Countess And Lose. Also, the events are always a bunch of fun to take part in - she’s dragging along anyone available.

5 THINGS THINGS ON HER TO-DO LIST.

Finish the on-going "Misfortune's Way" Funtom board game with Ciel. [ Ciel: 9. Claudia: 9. Neck-to-neck. Who Will Win? ]

Continue work on the boat she's created for the Midfords. She needs to finish carving their family crest into the right side of it and hollow out the rest of the bow. So much work to be done! But four months of blood, sweat and tears are going to pay off. :)

Fix that TERRIBLY painful floorboard her foot keeps hitting. It's been on this list for about a week now. She keeps forgetting or gets sidetracked! She’s getting a bruise. :( [ have tanaka do it? no no, she lets that poor man rest now. have sebastian do it? not a chance. "Are ya daft!? I ain't about to have that damned vulture creepin' about my own private quarters." ]

Pack up Tanaka, cook some food [ avoid bard. he always offers, she always declines after he set a strawberry cobbler she requested on fire right before her own eyes, and then proceeded to catch a portion of the kitchen on fire. she was so stunned she didn’t even notice Sebastian come in and bat out the flames LMAO. ], make some tea and head out with Gelert to her favorite spot to chill in the countryside and soak up the rays of Summer. She’s been so much colder than normal lately and needs to a b s o r b s u n. It’s Summer! She shouldn’t be freezing this much! [ although it is funny to put her hand on the back of people’s necks when they complain about the heat and watch them flip ]

Commune with the Goddesses at her forest altar. Bring the landscape painting she’s done for Brigid, bring the bloodied clothes of a fallen enemy for The Morrígan.

[the-lupine-sojourner]

Not That Kind of Alpha Request 1 [Alpha!Kirishima/Timid!Asexual!Omega!Reader]

Thank you so much, @grace-of-hearts!!! This was such a cute request! I really enjoyed writing it and hope you like it! 

I chose the amusement park because there’s only so much one can do at the zoo and I’d have run out of animals eventually! XD Sorry, but I hope amusement park is okay! 

Anyway, hope you all like, too, and please send in requests you all have! I have run out of ideas and would love to do some requests in this universe! 

Edit: Somehow forgot to add in the links for the other parts to this like i meant to. Whoops!

Part 1: Link!

Part 2: Link! 

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

(I guess this is when they stop to eat lunch?? IDK, I just thought it was cute! XD)

“Babe, you ready?” Eijiro asks from inside the bedroom. I grin and chuckle while french-braiding my hair facing the bathroom mirror.

I was admittedly a little nervous about this, but I also knew it was something Kiri had been looking forward to; a day for just us, doing whatever we want at an amusement park all day. I then take a breath, looping the hair tie securely around the end of the braid, eying my Bond Mark like I had too many times since that night. I blush, as always, at the memory, fingers ghosting over my lips. They way he’d kissed me...it was so sincere, so passionate...I loved it! He’d rarely gotten that emotional since then, but he made it a point to pour passion and love in every kiss, some of which were on the Bond Mark while hugging me from behind. That never failed to make me flustered and red-faced.

The Bonding was a month ago, but it felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago, all at once. I then shake myself and pivot. “Yup! Coming!” I call back, scurrying out to the bedroom and grabbing my purse. It was April, so there was still a slight chill in the air. As such, I had a thin grey varsity jacket on on top of a rose-patterned peasant blouse with a pair of nice jeans that weren’t skinny on me, but weren’t super loose. I also had combat boots on with red socks peeking out and a rose-pendant choker. Kiri blushes. I’d just gotten out of the shower and he hadn’t seen my outfit.

“Holy- -you look...you look stunning.” He murmurs breathily. He had a black wife-beater under a neon tiger-stripe hawaiian-style shirt with army green cargo pants and- -

“Are you really wearing crocs?!” I tease, smirking. “With socks?” He scratches the back of his neck.

“We’ll be walking around a lot. I just figured these are best.” I nod.

“As long as you have a reason, I guess.” I reply, smiling and melting against his gentle hug and kissing him back as he eased his lips over mine. He was never rough unless he just had to kiss me because I looked ‘too damn pretty not to kiss’ or ‘I just love you so much’. It was adorable and really sweet and I smile into the kiss. “Are we gonna go or not?” I mock-grumble, leaning away. He chuckles and reluctantly lets me go.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go.” He says. We hold hands and walk out to the car together.

=#=#=#=#=

“I don’t know...it looks...um...it looks really rickety and…” I stammer and shake, clinging to Eijiro’s arm. “I, uh…” It was the first roller coaster we wanted to go on. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on it. Eijiro pats my arm and kisses my temple.

“Then we won’t go on it.” I look at him sheepishly.

“Sorry. It’s just nerves. I’ll get over it.” I mumble.

“No, you’re not comfortable. We don’t have to go on a roller coaster as our first ride. We have all day.” He says softly, smiling. “Really, if you don’t want to go on this ride, we don’t have to.” I shake my head.

“I need to try to get over my skittishness. It’s just...I need to get through this.” I reply resolutely. Eijiro smiles proudly at me.

“If you’re sure. There’s nothing wrong with picking a different ride.” I chuckle.

“I’d rather not ride the carousel all day.” I confess nervously. Eijiro laughs.

“Okay. Like I said, we don’t have to ride every ride. We can take it slow if you want.” I nod.

“Thanks for being patient with me.” He nuzzles my neck, right over the Bond Mark. I blush and kiss his temple.

“Of course.” He says when he draws away. Together, we get on the ride and I try not to grip the bar too tightly. It was a tense few seconds as the workers made sure the riders were secured properly and then we were off. It was a series of terrifyingly fast turns and hills followed by a corkscrew and then a loop and when it was over, I am so high on adrenaline, I am laughing and twitchy as we get out of the car. Eijiro takes my hand again and we stumble down the exit path, giddy. He kisses me. “How was that?” He asks. I grin.

“It might be the adrenaline talking, but it wasn’t that bad!” I reply, giggling. Eijiro laughs.

“Okay!” We walk around til we aren’t jittery and then get in line for a swing ride that nearly goes upside down. I wasn’t as nervous for this one and it was actually kinda fun, all things considered, though I grabbed Kiri’s hand and was screaming the entire time.

After that, we went to an arcade and spent an hour burning through about twenty dollars each, coming away with hardly any prizes except a stuffed shark that I somehow grabbed in a claw game for Kiri and I had a traditional teddy bear Eijiro had been determined to win enough tickets for in a shooter game. “I’m your teddy bear!” He’d proclaimed, “And this way you have something to remind you of me when I’m not around.” I blush scarlet and kiss him. He was too sweet sometimes. We then went on a drop tower which took Eijiro basically talking me into it saying it wasn’t that intense of a drop and it would be over soon. He obviously said I didn’t have to go on it, but I wanted to try just about any ride he wanted to go on. It was terrifying and I felt high on adrenaline again when it’s over. So far, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. This was a lot of fun, actually!

As the day went on, I got progressively less timid and tried different rides I might not have otherwise. And it was all thanks to Eijiro’s patient, encouraging presence. He never pressured me too much to do things if I showed signs of wanting to back out. By the time the sun began to set, I pointed to the ferris wheel. I wanted to save it for the last ride and make it a cliche romantic moment.

This was our 6-month anniversary, after all. I wanted to end it on a high note. “Hey, Eiji. What about making that our last ride?” I suggest and am treated to Eijiro’s loving heart-eyes and a deep kiss.

“Hell yeah, babe! Let’s go it!” I giggle and let him all but yank me into line. He was positively bouncing in excitement. “The sun’s setting, too!” He chirps.

“I know.” I reply. “That’s why I wanted it to be our last ride of the day.” There were times Eijiro needed a little patience on my end, but that was why we worked so well together. We knew how the other ticked and could handle them in a healthy, productive way.

We walk into the car and sit down, Eijiro adjusting me so I was half in his lap and facing the sunset. I sigh contentedly.

“Are you having fun?” He asks. I nod, the pleasant atmosphere and Eijiro’s scent filling me up and making me slowly grow tired from all the excitement of a day of roller coasters and arcade games.

“Oh, yeah.” The ferris wheel moves slowly at first, stopping to let more people on, then begins going non stop and we finally get to take the proper time to enjoy the sunset. Eijiro suddenly turns me gently to him and kisses me soundly. So soundly, in fact, I don’t see or hear him raising his phone and snapping a picture just as we reached the top of the wheel. “...Wow…” I breathe when we break apart.

“I love you so much.” He murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

“I love you, too, Eijiro.” We cuddle and enjoy the ride, kissing lazily every once in a while.

It had been a perfect day and I wouldn’t change a thing. Every day, I am blessed to be with an Alpha like Eijiro. And he loved being with me, somehow. He runs content hands through my hair as the ride slowly starts and stops to let other people off. He then sits up, clearing his throat and turning to me. “Hey, Y/N?” I nod.

“Yeah, Eijiro?” I reply, wondering why he was so nervous and blushing all of a sudden. He licks his lips, fingers twitching in his pocket before he takes my left hand and holds something up. I blush and stammer for words. Was that…

“Wi-will...will you marry me, Y/N F/N?” He holds the ring up for me to see as the seconds tick by. Was he...was he proposing?!

“Eijiro...I...o-of course! I didn’t think...I thought you’d...but yes, I’ll marry you! Of course!”

Bonus: The Ring, Pictured Below.

[scorpio-karma]

Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf

It’s Halloween Night, who knows what could be lurking in the woods.

So I was working on Day 3 of Boo-Kai week (Trick or Treat) and of course this little ship that could have been comes sneaking up on me. I mean how could they not, they are after all the witch and the werewolf and it's Halloween month. As with most of my Tonnie fics this is just plain hot, steamy, and impossible smut with a bit of background but I just mostly wanted to see these two fuck.

Tagging the only people I know that care about Tonnie: @laptiteantillais @jazzywazzy89 @thefudge @irresistible-revolution @thehedgerider @entwinedloop @vanann6 @thebennettdiaries @bonneibennett (there maybe more I just don’t know or can think of right now)

                                 XXX

It was Halloween and this year she chose to be little red riding hood. Her grams had helped her with the costume and told her the big bad wolf better not be showing up on her doorstep later. They laughed obviously, and Bonnie said, "the wolf should be more afraid of you." Her Grams had concurred with a "damn right," and the fell into a fit of laughter. 

She was wandering around the Lockwood's enormous backyard, if you can even call it that. She could hear the loud thumping music from the main house—parties were never her scene. Maybe she was just a homebody, maybe she just liked staying home with her close friends, or maybe she just got tired of being left to her own devices while her friends partied irresponsibly expecting her always to get them home safely. Whatever it was she could count on one hand the amount of times she actually had fun at a party. 

She heard footsteps in the grass and when she turned she saw him, Tyler Lockwood. He was shirtless because it wouldn't be Halloween if his costume came with a shirt. He was supposed to be the big bad wolf, but with the way his pants were ripped she almost would have pegged him as the Incredible Hulk. She chuckled at the cheesiness of it, but that was Tyler in a nutshell and since triggering his wolf he definitely wasn't going to let a costume opportunity like this slide. His voice brought her out of her reverie.

"You lost Bennett, the party is up there."

"No, I know exactly where I'm going."

"And where exactly is that"

"Come and see."

They walked for about ten minutes before she led him to a spot far away from his mansion and just stopped. He looked around curious what she was showing him, but came up with nothing. It was just the middle of the woods.

"Is there a reason why we're in the ass crack of nowhere?"

"I'm meeting someone."

"Please tell me it isn't Gilbert."

"So what if I was, what would be wrong with that?"

"Forget Jeremy Gilbert, go for the wolf." He slowly walked toward her. "He can see you better..." He got closer than she was comfortable with so she slowly backed away. "...hear you better.." He had her backed against a tree. He whispered in her ear, "and eat you better."

A shiver ran down her spine with his words. She grabbed him by the back of his head and whispered in a sultry tone, "all that talk, you better be able to put your money where you mouth is."

He looked up at her with his signature cocky smile and with little warning he devoured her mouth. She moaned pressing herself further into him. This is what she was waiting for all night. There were very few parties she'd ever had fun at, but they we all spent with him, and with his recent developments she knew this time would be more fun than the last.

He moved down to her neck trailing large open mouth kisses before settling on a spot to mark her. His hands traveled up her legs covered in black sheer nylon. He picked at the clips where her garter met her thigh highs. Then he trailed up higher and found that she wasn't wearing any panties. He growled into her neck and continued on his journey to the promise land. 

She widened her stance opening herself up to him. He teased her, lightly caressing her outer lips. He worked his way to the middle making his way to where she really wanted him. She jerked her hips in anticipation.

His hands stopped what he was doing. "Uh, uh, uh," he said smiling. He pulled his head up and kissed her again, but more gently this time. "Be patient," he said against her lips.

"No," she whispered back boldly grabbing his dick through his pants moving her hand up and down working him up as well. He groaned in response.

He grabbed her wrist to stop her motions. "Nice try, but..." He kissed her forehead. "...you're..." He kissed her left cheek. "...going..." He kissed her right cheek. "...to..." He kissed her nose. "...have..." He took her mouth again biting her lip as he pulled back. "...to be patient." He slapped her bottom for emphasis. She squeaked in excitement.

She pulled him back into her kissing him, giving just as good as she got hooking her leg behind his waist. 

He goes back to work caressing her thigh this time smoothing his hands over her bare bottom. He kissed his way down her neck until he reached her breasts encased in a white peasant blouse. He pulled it down with his teeth and went in for the kill. Through her black lacy bra he sucked her nipple. She gasped at the feel. He knew that was one of her weak spots including that space behind her ear. 

From behind his hands made their way to her wet pussy. He slipped a finger testing the waters before slipping out. He grabbed the leg that was hooked around his waste and moved to rest on his shoulder. God, he loved how flexible she was.

He teased her again for a little bit before his thumb brushed against her clit in a circular motion. She hissed in his ear. He added his index and middle fingers pumping in and out of her. With her stable leg she started grind up and down humping his hand. Little whimpers were coming out of her mouth as he worked her up.

With little warning he stopped everything again and dropped down to his knees face to face with her pussy. She almost lost balance but was able to use the tree to stabilize herself.

It didn't take him long to bury his tongue inside her. She tasted delicious and he couldn't wait to taste more. 

Her hands immediately went to his hair. At first gently combing through with her fingers but the more aggressive he got eating her out the harder her grip became. She nearly suffocated him the moment he sucks her clit in his mouth flicking his tongue against the pearl. She was seeing stars. She felt herself about to cum when everything abruptly stopped. She let out a noise of dissatisfaction. He got up from the cold forest ground and boxed her in between is arms again.

Over the years he'd learned just how important the build up was for her. Instant gratification was never her game so he delighted in the little pout that graced her face when he stopped.

He leaned over and kissed her with wild abandon. "Taste that," he said in between kisses, "do you taste how good are." She moaned, her insides clenched with words.

He backed away from her—she was about to protest but then she heard the all to familiar sound of her clothes ripping. If she wasn't so turned on she'd had definitely been pissed, however two can play at that game. With a little help from magic she tears the one piece of clothing he was wearing to shreds. His dick twitched. 

Cornering her again he lifted her up by her by her thighs and sat her right on his dick. They both hummed at the contact, of finally being home. He pumped into her slowly at first, but that didn't last long before he was pounding into her scraping he back against the tree. She was thankful she had the barrier of the cloak to not completely scratch up her back, but she honestly didn't care—it added to the pleasure. 

He had wound her so tight before every move he made inside her felt good. She didn't know how long she'd last before she ended up cumming all over his dick. He was rock hard underneath her—apparently he wasn't the only one wound up. He stroked at an angle that hit a spot she didn’t even know existed and that's when she lost it. 

Her screams were loud enough for the people back at the party could hear her. She felt her walls clamp down on him and just when she thought it was over for both of them he continued to fuck her through it, hard, and it sent right back into another one. She wanted to tell him slow down or something, but she was barely able to form words. It was almost tortuous, she couldn't stop cumming. 

He attacked her clit--he wanted to prolong the feeling of her pussy going crazy on his cock. She wanted him to stop, she was feeling something unfamiliar--It almost felt like she had to pee. She was trying to tell him too much, but then she exploded—things were slippery and she felt stuff shooting out of her—like a guy. She was mildly confused but it felt too good for her to question anything. She was reduced to sobs with no control over her own movements. The euphoria was like nothing she had experienced before.

She didn't know it but that was the trick to ending this torture because the moment she released all over him was the moment whatever self control he had with her pussy going crazy on him snapped. He grunted and wailed, a noise he never thought he could make, as he pumped his cum inside her. He collapsed still holding her up but using the tree more for leverage.  

They stayed like that for a while with him firmly planted inside her. He felt the combined remnants of them pooled at his waist dripping down his legs. Though it was kinda gross he felt proud of himself especially when he felt that she was still having after shocks. 

"Fuck," she sighed out. She could finally form words again.

"I know," he said smiling up at her. He took a moment to gently peck her on the lips before putting her down. 

They both collapsed on to the cold ground not caring about their nakedness.

"God I love Halloween."

"You're just saying that because we just had sex."

"True, but also every year you're dressed sexy as hell and I'm lucky enough to get to hit it. It's like a tradition. A "fucking" tradition."

She blushed. "God, do you always have to be so crass."

"Don't act like you don't know what you signed up for."

"Well, if you don't cut it out you won't get round two."

"We can't have that." He leaned over and kissed her lazily. 

He moved down to her neck nipping her skin delightfully. He abruptly stopped and she was about to protest when he flipped her over on her hands and knees. He gently caressed her bottom before giving it a quick thwack. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "We both know round two is my favorite." 

He slapped her ass once more sending shivers down her spine again. Tonight was going to be a long night, and she couldn't wait for what was to come. 

[crazyblondelife]

A February Perspective

Happy Sunday! I haven’t written a This & That post in a long time and I’m excited to bring you this one!

We have had the most beautiful weather over the past two days and all I’ve wanted to do was be outside enjoying it! Amos and I have taken long walks and yesterday, I took my journal outside and sat in the sunshine to write! It was so nice after the cold temperatures we’ve been having. However, Baldy and I are leaving for Naples, Florida on Tuesday and I’ll have a chance to soak in even more sunshine and relax for a few days! It’s a much needed getaway!

Speaking of…I’m very ready to do a little shopping for spring (and my trip), so I’ve been on every website possible searching for all the best pieces that are not only gorgeous, but also versatile. Keep scrolling for a little warm weather outfit inspo!

And…as everyone knows, the Super Bowl is tonight and I’m completely unprepared so I’m sharing an easy recipe that you can throw together in minutes. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to eat a huge plate of dips and wings so I’m so happy to have found this healthy alternative. If you have just a bit more time, you could also make my recipe for Hearty Beef & Bean Chili…it’s easy to put together and the leftovers are very delicious!

There is also no way I could forget to mention Valentine’s Day! Baldy and I will celebrate with a fabulous dinner while we’re in Florida, but tomorrow night, we’ll have Chinese takeout outside by a roaring fire! I don’t love the crowds and prefix menus that most restaurants have on Valentine’s Day, so this plan is perfectly fine with me! I did receive some gorgeous flowers from Baldy on Monday that I’ve been enjoying all week long!

The beautiful little cake above was made by a local baker, Blondie Bakes, and I spruced it up with beautiful macaroons and rose petals. It’s an easy way to have a pretty dessert without making it yourself!

Keep reading…I’m starting with spring shopping and fashion finds!

I’ve been wearing this great peasant blouse from Anthropologie more often than I should admit! I just love the colors and it’s a great transitional piece as well as a great layering piece…see how I styled it with a leopard coat below!!

Johnny Was is one of my favorite brands…it’s boho chic at it’s best! They recently sent me a few pieces and I couldn’t be happier about it! The cardigan above is a wear everywhere piece that will turn heads because it’s so interesting! I paired it with faux leather pants, a black tank and scrunch boots from Schutz! I also have these boots in black…they’re comfortable and affordable!

The detail on the blouse above (also from Johnny was) is exquisite! I’ve paired it with the same black pants and over-the-knee boots from Stuart Weitzman. Going into spring, I’ll change out the boots for sandals and wear this blouse with jeans! I tucked in only half of the blouse in the front for a more fashion forward look…

My Spring Wish List

This look is for all the Yellowstone fans out there! I have the unpopular opinion that I don’t love this show! It’s so shocking and I prefer to watch something more uplifting!

Recipes for February

Greek Inspired Antipasto Platter via Half Baked Harvest - I’m making this tonight!

Warm Lentil Salad with Burrata & Basil Oil via Camille Styles

Green Goddess Salad via Food Dolls - If you don’t follow Food Dolls on Instagram you’re missing out! These girls are great and all of their recipes are quick and easy!

This & That

The Women is one of my favorite movies and got me through some tough times! I recently rewatched it and love it just as much!

I have recently become interested in learning about Human Design! Human Design offers a map, or a manual, that indicates how you are unique as a person, and guides you in living in a manner that is in sync with who you are. If you’re interested, this is a great podcast from Jenna Zoe, or you can read this article from Goop.

I recently bought a new toy and I’m having such a great time with it! It’s call the FeetUp Headstand Bench Yoga Chair and it’s for inversions and relaxation. I did an Instagram post yesterday explaining why inversions are so good for you! You can check it out here!

[storywool]

Longing (part 1)

Summary: *SLOOOWWWWBURN* Y/n Y/L/n is a recent graduate from New York University and Sam Wilson’s life long best friend. She wrote her dissertation on a new experimental surgery that could alter the brain’s memory and speech patterns, a surgery that she plans to use on one of the most famous men in America: the Winter Soldier. Part 1 follows her plan to get the surgery approved and the first steps in the process to de-Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes. part 2 // part 3

Word Count: 7,760 

“Which one, the green one or the beige one?” Y/n asked her best friend, holding up two distinctly different blouses over her bare chest. She had just gotten out of the shower, had her hair up in a towel, and nothing on but black pants and a bra. She quickly interchanged the two shirts. The green one was a sheer, long-sleeved v-neck that she often paired with a scarf, and the beige one was this peasant type shirt that Sam Wilson didn’t completely understand. But he eyed both of them carefully, knowing she needed his honest opinion.

“The beige one. Looks more professional.” He replied, taking a sip from his coffee. She nodded and roughly took the garment off the hanger. She forced the top over her towel headdress, and hurried back to her room when she pulled it over. Sam followed her and watched her open up her large makeup bag. She shuffled around in it. “You nervous?” He asked.

She scoffed, “Nah, I’m just meeting with Tony fucking Stark to propose a new, never been done before surgery to potentially ‘fix’ the guy who killed his parents.”

Y/n Y/l/n was a recent graduate from the New York University medical school; in undergraduate school, she majored in biology and psychology. She graduated top of her class with honors, and she had recently taken the year off to travel with Sam. She wasn’t sure what she was doing with her career currently, but after Sam joined the Avengers, and she heard all the stories about James Buchanan Barnes, she seemed to find her calling. She began her focus on neurological, experimental surgery and developed an idea to try on the cryogenically frozen superhero. After proposing the idea to a professor, getting his approval, and talking it over with Sam, she managed to get an interview with Stark (without the help of Sam). She had been preparing for this interview for weeks, and today was the day. Her nerves were absolutely shot and she felt like throwing up.

She laughed to herself. Despite being best friends with Sam and living with him for the past ten years or so, she hadn’t met a single member of the Avengers other than Steve Rogers. She was studying abroad in Norway when Steve and Natasha came to Sam for help, so she didn’t get to meet them then. She hadn’t met them not because she didn’t want to, but she was always busy when they weren’t, and vice versa. But she was about to meet Tony Stark, and terrified didn’t even begin to explain it.

“I can still come with you.” Sam offered.

She shook her head as she finished putting on mascara. “No, it’s fine. I want to get this because my science is sound, not because I know the right people.” Sam always had connections and was always using them to help her. She was thankful for that, but she wanted to do this on her own. She wanted to feel like she earned it.

Sam yawned loudly and stretched. “Well, I believe in you. I gotta go though.” He wrapped Y/n in a side hug so she wouldn’t have to stop putting on her makeup, and kissed her on the cheek.

“Gotta go play cards with Scott some more, you mean?” She smiled cheekily at him through the mirror. Since they didn’t have any cases currently, all Sam seemed to do was hang around Stark Towers and play cards with Scott Lang. But it paid the bills, and he was happy. After his tour with the army, he was never happy, so it was nice to see him this way.

He shot finger guns at her instead of responding. “Good luck!” He called down from the hallway. Y/n heard the front door open and then close.

Y/n finished her makeup, blow dried her hair, and threw on a pair of black heels. After throwing on a coat and hurriedly locking the door, she walked away from their shared house and headed toward the subway station. She took the train that would lead directly to Stark Towers. The whole ride, she rehearsed her ‘elevator pitch’ to herself over and over until she felt she could say it without shaking.

She exited the subway tunnels and entered the bustling New York City streets. Directly in front of her, was the landmark building- ‘Stark’ was written across the top in large, white letters. The building was a staggering 93-story high skyscraper separated into two sections, and lined with wide, blue windows. Y/n took a deep, shaky breath in and moved toward the door when a familiar hand reached out to grab it for her.

The large figure smiled down at her as he held the door open. Y/n looked up at the blonde-haired man and returned the grin. Steve Rogers was looking dapper as ever in a white t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and leather jacket. Y/n mentally laughed at the Captain America patch on the pocket. He looked healthy, considering everything that had happened recently. She couldn’t help but feel her anxiety wash away as she looked up at her friend. Sam was always the one to make her smile and laugh, but Steve always made her feel safe and at home. Part of it was because they were both from Brooklyn and she felt a sense of home in his presence, but he also saved Y/n’s life a few months back. She trusted him ever since.

“Mornin’ beautiful.” He beamed. His voice was chipper, even for him.

“Back at ya, handsome.” She entered the building and walked with Steve to the front desk. “You’re in a good mood.”

“I had my date last night.” He had been talking about this date with Sharon for weeks, and it had finally happened. Y/n wasn’t entirely sure what happened but it was obviously good.

Y/n smiled and gasp lightly, “Yay, finally! I can’t wait to hear all about it. You seein’ her again soon?” She handed the receptionist her I.D.

“What brings you here today?” The receptionist asked.

“Tomorrow night.” Steve replied at the same time.

“Oh fun!” She said to Steve first, and then turned to the receptionist, “I have a meeting with Tony Stark at 9:00.” The receptionist ran her name through the computer, printed out a fancy I.D. badge, and handed the badge and her license back to Y/n. Y/n thanked the woman, and walked toward the elevators with Steve.

“Meeting for what?” He raised an eyebrow and pressed the up button. Y/n swallowed; she hadn’t told Steve about the operation yet because she didn’t want to get his hopes up if she couldn’t fix his best friend. Y/n mulled over whether to answer the question truthfully or not. She didn’t want to mention Bucky, only for Stark to say no.

She cleared her throat, “Uh, I wanted to talk to him about a possible internship.” It wasn’t a total lie. After that, she acted like she was too busy marveling the beauty of the building to answer in depth; again, not a total lie. The lobby was enough to take anyone’s breath away; it had vaulted ceilings, flying buttresses, and all the latest technology displayed on all the walls. The Stark Tower was very much like the old S.H.I.E.L.D tower, except it was a bit smaller and fewer people traveled in and out the doors. Even the elevator was awe inspiring with its glass walls.

“I looked just like that when I first came here.” Steve whispered to her on the packed elevator.

Y/n made light conversation with Steve the rest of the way up. They talked about Steve’s date a little and whether they were going to do their weekly Monday lunch with Sam or not. They agreed that they would, and that she’d meet him on the 60th floor after her interview. He got off and wished her luck. Once he was gone, her anxiety returned immediately, and only rose as the elevator did.

On the 93rd floor, she exited the elevator and entered a waiting room type area. At the front desk sat a brunette woman, who Y/n informed that she was here to meet with Mr. Stark. The receptionist replied curtly, “He’s very busy. Impress him in the first minute or he won’t hear you out.” Y/n nodded, swallowed the lump in her throat, and took a seat. She drummed the folder in her lap with her fingers and bounced her leg up and down. Five minutes passed when the elevator doors opened up and the infamous Tony Stark marched out. He was wearing a tight, black suit; his face was clean shaven despite a few scraps from a possibly recent battle. He said hello to his receptionist and hesitated when he saw Y/n.

She stood up and stuck her hand out to shake his. “Who’s this?” He asked.

“Your nine o’clock, sir.” The receptionist replied.

“Also known as Y/n Y/l/n…sir.” Y/n blushed slightly.

Stark eyed her up and down before turning on his heel. “Y/n, I’m sorry but I don’t have a lot of time. Talk fast.”

Y/n began to panic. Everything she had planned to say was thrown out the window. She stuttered along her words as she tried to follow Stark as best as she could. “I think I uh-” As they walked, several assistants came up to Stark and asked him to sign here, initial there, smile at the camera, etc. Y/n recognized one of the women as Pepper Potts, Tony Stark’s girlfriend. Y/n couldn’t seem to get a word in. “I spoke with my former research professor and-” Y/n stammered as she was interrupted by more people. Stark held up a finger at her to tell her to wait. Y/n could feel her panic and anger rising. He was being completely unprofessional and Y/n did not appreciate it.  

She stopped walking and realized Stark didn’t even know she wasn’t following. He was continuing on farther into the distance. Y/n swallowed her pride, gathered her breath, and shouted over the noise and chatter, “I found a way to fix Bucky!”

Stark stopped moving and turned back to face her slowly. The noise around them died down as her words sunk in. Y/n’s face turned a bright red and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry.

“You what?” He whispered. Y/n couldn’t tell if the whisper was cynical or surprised. She was shaking. Stark could feel his own heartbeat increase slightly. No one outside of the Avengers and the few remaining people from S.H.I.E.L.D knew what happened in Siberia between him, Steve, and Bucky, and even fewer people knew that Bucky went back on the ice.

“I-uh- think I know how to fix Buck- Sergeant Barnes.” She stuttered. She fidgeted with the folder and held it out for him. He quickly swiped it from her hands, and him and Pepper read over the files inside. The folder contained a detailed explanation of the operation, a twenty page research paper, and the cited works. Pepper oh’d and awed as she skimmed the paperwork.

Y/n cleared her throat and continued, “I have a theory that instead of picturing Barnes’ brain as a whole, imagine it as the parts it is.”

She paused to gauge Stark’s reaction. He bit his lip and continued reading. “Come with me.” He said once finished with the files. He slapped the folder close and moved for the door. He held it open for Pepper and Y/n, and she entered what she assumed was Stark’s warehouse/ research lab. He handed the folder to a floating robot that Stark seemed to talk to like it was human. Once the robot scanned the files, he motioned his arm to bring up an electric, holographic copy of the paper. “Continue.”

Y/n cleared her throat again, “Uh, well, you see, the reason he keeps reverting to his Winter Soldier self is because of the sequence of words: Longing, rusted, furnace, daybreak, seventeen, benign, nine, homecoming, one, and freight car. If you remove the significance of those words, especially in that order, theoretically the Winter Soldier side of him can’t be activated.”

“How do you know about all of this?” Pepper asked.

“How do we do that?” Stark asked at the same time.

Y/n decided to answer Stark’s question first. “Well, Wernicke’s area in the temporal lobe is responsible for understanding language and the parietal lobe interprets language. If you operate on those areas and basically rearrange the wiring, it might make him forget those words and the significance of that sequence.”

“Wouldn’t he theoretically forget how to speak?” Stark questioned. He flipped through the holographic research paper and noted points in her paper.

She nodded, “Yes, most likely he’d have to relearn everything. According to my research, he might remember how to speak English since that was his first language, but it’s not a guarantee.”

“Technically none of this is a guarantee.” Pepper mumbled. Y/n tried to suppress giving her the side eye, but let it show slightly.  

Y/n ignored it and continued, “Operating on the temporal lobe would also affect his memory…if we could target the right memories, we could remove the meaning behind those words that trigger him.” Y/n finished and felt utterly proud of herself. It did not go as smooth as she hoped, but she did it.

“We? Ms…” Pepper peered at the name on top of her paper, “Y/n, you shouldn’t even know about this stuff. This is classified information.”

Y/n sighed. She didn’t want to have to name drop, but here she was. “I’m Sam Wilson’s childhood best friend and roommate. He told me all about Bucky, and I researched it in depth. Everyone who has tried to look into this topic has been thinking about Bucky as a whole, not as parts. His whole brain isn’t what’s the problem…those words are.”

They both stared at her. Stark absentmindedly bit his thumb as he thought. Her plans were detailed and her science was sound, it was just the experimentation of it all. He couldn’t attempt a never been done before surgery on Steve’s best friend. He couldn’t be responsible if it didn’t work. His mind was racing with thoughts and he was barely paying attention to the conversation. He heard Y/n say she was best friends with Sam and Steve, that they hadn’t met yet because of poor timing, and that she came up with the idea after a drunken night with Steve.

“Pepper, can you fetch Bruce?” He asked suddenly, knocking Pepper off her momentary soap box. She rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room. Once the doors closed behind her, Stark sighed. “She’s so worried about the politics and logistics. I don’t care how you know this information. I just care about your science.”

He looked Y/n up and down. She looked so nervous and absolutely terrified. It was then that Stark realized he hadn’t said any encouraging words to her yet. He hadn’t said anything to calm her nerves. Y/n was, Stark noticed, a very pretty girl with an obvious brain between her ears. She was of average height, long hair, wide and anxious eyes, and a nervous smile. She was wearing a partially see through top, and Stark could see an arm tattoo poking through. It was typewriter like writing, but Stark couldn’t make out the word.

“What’s your arm tattoo say?”

Y/n yelped slightly and stared down at her arm. “Oh, it uh, says ‘longing’…which I realize is kind of funny now that I’m trying to fix the Winter Soldier whose first trigger word is ‘longing’.” She rubbed the spot on her arm and smiled slightly. The look on Stark’s face told her to continue, “My dad was a writer before he joined the Army. My favorite poem he ever wrote was called ‘Longing’ and he wrote it after his tour. I thought the poem was about love, but after he committed suicide, I realized what it was about. It’s kind of my goodbye to him.”

Stark’s heart sank slightly. He learned so much about Y/n in those few sentences. He felt for her, too because she lost her father, and that was always a hard thing for anyone to face. He cleared his throat. “I’m getting Dr. Banner to review your plans. I think they look pretty solid, but I need another pair of eyes.”

Y/n felt her insides swell. Tony Stark, son of legend Howard Stark, just said her plans looked good! If she were alone, she would have started dancing. “Wait, seriously?” She couldn’t help but say. A wide smile broke across her face. Stark grinned too. She was adorable, for lack of a better word. She reminded him of a girl version of Sam, which would make sense with them being best friends and all.

The doors opened and Bruce Banner entered the room. His hair was an absolute mess, he was wearing a purple button up and gray slacks, and his glasses sat crookedly on his face. His eyes searched the room, stopping only briefly on the holograph projections before laying on Y/n. She stuck her hand out and he shook it firmly as they exchanged introductions.

“Bruce, look through these files.” Stark handed him the physical folder because he preferred paper over electronics. Stark gave him 10 minutes to read over it. Y/n found a chair nearby and pulled up a seat. Stark offered her a drink, and she requested a coffee. She hadn’t had her morning cup yet, and it was catching up to her.

Bruce took off his glasses and bit the end of them when he was finished reading. “It’s sound science…good science at that.” Stark pulled Bruce off to the side and they spoke in hushed whispers. They were talking about the best way to go about the situation. Y/n heard them whisper about rats and test subjects and how to get Bucky to agree. She cleared her throat and the two men turned to her. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I did come up with the idea after all.”

They stared at her for a second, and then Stark broke out laughing. He shrugged his shoulder. “I guess you’re right.” He paused and walked over to Y/n. “What do we need to do next?”

She blinked rapidly, not entirely sure what to say. She hadn’t thought past the interview itself. She guessed that they’d need to get approval from someone to do this research, they’d have to get a team that could work on it together, and they’d have to get something to test the surgery on. And then they’d still have to get Bucky out of the ice and get his approval. She explained this to them, and they agreed. It was set that Tony would file paperwork with the United Nations (per the Sokovia Accords), and then they’d go from there.

“I’ll give you a call when I get word from the U.N. Until then, you should come work here. I could use a brain like yours.” Tony said. She nodded excitedly at the prospect of working at Stark Tower with the Avengers. Tony grinned widely and told Y/n to be back tomorrow.

She left the room, headed to the elevator, and moved down to the floor where Steve said he’d be. She felt absolutely elated. She couldn’t wait to tell Sam, but that also meant telling Steve. She exited the elevator and came face to face with the whole Avengers crew. Wanda and Vision were talking in the corner, Sam and Scott were playing cards (typical), Steve was reading Harry Potter per Y/n’s request, and Natasha and Clint were playing chess. Y/n noted that Thor wasn’t there, though. She chuckled at how…normal they all looked. They stared up at her as the elevator opened.

Sam jumped up from his spot immediately and practically skipped over to her. “How’d it go?”

She beamed up at him and whispered, “Stark’s sending the paperwork to the U.N. to get approval. Until then, he gave me a job working with him!”

Sam yelped and pulled Y/n into a bone crushing hug. “I’m so proud of you!” Sam let her go and turned back to the group. “Guys, this is my best friend Y/n. Y/n, these are the guys.”

Y/n waved nervously as Natasha said, “So you’re the infamous Y/n Steve and Sam keep talking about.” She rose from her seat and shook Y/n’s hand. She smiled warmly. Y/n wished in that moment that she had met Natasha earlier. She seemed like such a nice person.

The rest of the Avengers greeted her as she made her rounds before she made her way over to Steve. He put his book down when she got to him. “By the look on your face, I’d say it’s good news.” He chuckled. Y/n found herself suddenly very nervous.

“Can we go for a walk?” She asked. Steve raised an eyebrow, but nodded nonetheless. She turned back to Sam and told him the plan. He offered to be there, but Y/n knew she needed to tell Steve alone.

They entered the surprisingly empty elevator. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Y/n cut him off. “Not yet.” Y/n said. He closed his mouth and kept his eyes fixed on the door. Y/n could feel her heart beat in her throat and found herself biting her nails nervously. Steve could sense her unease, and realized he too was growing anxious.

They exited Stark Towers, walked a few blocks east, and came to their favorite coffee shop. This shop was the birthplace of Steve and Y/n’s friendship, and the foreground of several wonderful memories. The most recent memory being the day Steve finally asked Sharon out. Sam and Y/n yelled so loudly that they were almost kicked out.

Today’s news would either bring Steve joy or terror, and both responses scared Y/n. They ordered lattes from the barista and found seats away from everyone else. They sat down and Y/n sighed. She looked around at her surroundings and thought of what to say to him.

“So…how’d your date with Sharon go?”

He laughed, knowing she was stalling. “It was really nice. I picked her up from her apartment, we went to that restaurant you suggested,” Y/n chuckled at that additive, “and then we went for a walk in Central Park. I showed her all of the places that were there when I was a teenager and that are still standing. And then we went back to my place and…”

Y/n squealed, “Steve Rogers you dirty grandpa! I never would have pegged you for a sex on the first date kinda guy!”

Steve sipped his coffee before replying. He couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face. “Well, she’s not your average girl, so I didn’t think what I usually did was the right way to go.” Y/n felt herself blush and her heart swim. She was so happy for Steve.

“I want details.” Steve told her all the nasty, probably too-much-information moments shared between Sharon and Steve last night. She loved that she could have these kinds of conversations with Steve, despite how conservative he usually was about relationship stuff.

Once their moment passed and Y/n was completely caught up on the night before, and Steve assumed Y/n was ready to talk, he cleared his throat, “So, is everything okay?”  

Y/n smiled sheepishly. “Yes and no.” She took a deep breath. “So I got a job with Stark to work on a new operation.”

Steve raised his eyebrows and grinned. “That’s incredible! So why the long face?”

She thumbed the side of her warm coffee. “The operation is to basically rewire the parts of the brain that deal with speech while leaving the other parts not tampered with. We’re basically going to remove the meaning behind words and re-teach the patient how to speech, essentially. It’s never been done before and there are a lot of things that could go wrong, and Stark and Banner seem optimistic. But-”

Steve’s face dropped. “But,” he paused, “who’s the patient?”

Y/n hesitated. Steve reached out his hand for hers and squeezed it. She didn’t know whether to build up to the name drop or just go for it. Either way, Steve would have questions.

“It’s Bucky.”

Silence fell over the table. Her gaze fell to the table as Steve retracted his hand from Y/n’s. He left his mouth agape. He frowned. Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat and felt like she was going to cry if Steve didn’t say anything. But Steve was too dumbfounded to speak. Y/n hurried to formulate sentences in her mind to ease the tension growing between them.

“The only way to get him off the ice is to find some way to get rid of his Winter Soldier side. At least that’s what you told me. Since that night, I’ve been thinking of ways to…” She paused, searching for the right word but came up short, “I guess, fix him?” She glanced up at Steve and his expression was unchanged. Y/n reached out her hand this time and spoke to him, not at him. She stared into his eyes as she spoke, “I know how much he means to you. You’ve done so much for me, and all I want to do is repay those favors.”

“And you thought a never been done surgery would do that?” He snapped. Y/n was taken aback. She couldn’t believe his response.

“Steve, you know just as well as I do that the only way to help Bucky is to do things that have never been done before.” She scoffed and crossed her arms. She was thought about what to say next. She didn’t really want to tell him what inspired her to help, but it was the only way to get him to understand. “You told me about him and who he was before he fell off that train, and my heart hurt because of how much you cared about him. I’ve never seen anyone care about someone else so damn much, and if anyone cared about me that much, I’d do whatever it took to get them back. All I want to do is bring him back. After you told me all about him, before and after the Winter Soldier, I changed my major in school so I was better suited to help him. I’ve literally been preparing for this since I graduated from undergrad.” She didn’t mean to say it so viciously, but she felt like Steve doubted her abilities. She also felt embarrassed at her admission. While she had Sam, and Steve cared enough, she never had anyone love her like Steve loved Bucky. It didn’t necessarily make her jealous, but a large part of her wanted someone who would give life and limb for her.

Steve diverted his eyes and bit his lip. He was ashamed that he went off on Y/n the way he did. But he was scared, and he wasn’t sure how to admit that. The thought of getting Bucky back only to have him disappear again was too much to handle. He couldn’t leave his best friend up to chance. He trusted Y/n. He didn’t trust fate.

Steve cleared his throat and turned his attention back to Y/n. “How will it work?”

Y/n stared at Steve and blinked tears from her eyes. She was certain Steve wasn’t going to allow them to go through with it. She explained the possibility of him forgetting how to speak, the way they could change some of his memories, and the likelihood of recovery. She reiterated that Stark’s technology is unlike any in a standard hospital, and that she would not be performing the surgery directly.

“Obviously, this all ultimately hinges on approval from the U.N. and if Bucky says yes.”  She finished. They had finished their coffees and almost an hour had passed. Steve was visibly processing her words still, parsing each and every sentence she said. They left the coffee shop and headed back to Stark Towers. They got back on the elevator, which was empty. They hadn’t exchanged words since they left the coffee shop, until they were halfway back to the 60th floor.

“By the way, you do have people who care about you as much as I do about Buck. You got me after all.” Steve whispered to Y/n, and reached out his hand to take hers. They intertwined their fingers, and he squeezed lightly. Steve smiled down at her. She suddenly felt better about everything that had happened.

That night, Sam and Y/n were bundled up on the couch and sharing a cheese pizza. They were watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones when Sam paused the TV. He turned his body to face Y/n and cleared his throat. He gave her a look that said ‘we need to talk’.

“Oh god, why that face?” She asked, throwing down her plate.

Sam held up his hands in mock surrender, “I’m just worried about this whole thing.”

“What whole thing?” Y/n crossed her arms and sat up higher in her seat. She, of course, knew what Sam was referring to, but she wanted to hear him say it.

“The Bucky thing-” Y/n tried to interject, but Sam kept on, “I’m not worried about you at all. I trust you more than my own doctor, who’s a Jewish man in his fifties and has been a doctor for the latter half of his life. I’m worried about Bucky.”

Y/n raised her eyebrow, “Why?”

He laid his head on the arm he had stretched on the back of the couch. “You know why…he’s dangerous, Y/n. People think of him as the bad guy, and I don’t know what he’ll do when he comes out of the ice.”

Y/n reached out and grabbed his hand. She squeezed lightly. “A risk I’m willing to take.”

A week had passed, and Y/n was now officially a Stark Industries employee (paperwork took longer to process than expected). She returned to Stark Towers with Sam, just like Stark had instructed. It was a little after ten when they arrived. It was later than usual, but since they worked on their own schedules, it wasn’t a big deal. She waited on the 60th floor with the rest of the Avengers until Stark came and got her. She talked to Steve about his night with Sharon, and they tiptoed around the one conversation they really wanted to have. Sam could feel the awkward tension. He ignored it though, chalked it up to misinterpretation.

The Avengers talked about their nights as they all settled in for the day. Sam and Y/n saw the new Wonder Woman movie, Steve went on his date, and Scott got to see his daughter for a while. The rest of them reported nothing interesting, so they spent the time talking about Wonder Woman and how badass she was.

A voice spoke over the PA for Y/n to come to Stark’s office. The group oh’d like kids in a classroom, and one of them just got called to the principal’s office. Y/n rolled her eyes, bid ado, and headed to her first day at her new job.

As soon as she exited the elevator, Stark greeted her. He handed her a folder immediately. He turned to walk away, and Y/n followed closely. “Your file…while I prefer electronic everything, we kept paperback-ups. I didn’t put your name on it because didn’t know your title.” He explained.

Y/n smiled down at her manila envelope and opened it. Inside were standard documents like her birth certificate, resume, and photo copies of her license. “Oh, it’s Doctor Y/n Y/l/n.”

Stark stopped in his tracks. “Why didn’t you correct me when I called you ‘Ms.’?”

She laughed lightly. She got that question so often. “It’s just a title-”

“A title that you worked on for years.” Stark cut her off, and laughed. Y/n shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t go to medical school for a title; she went to help people.

Stark continued to walk and show Y/n around the office. He pointed to a room that was his office and told her to go there whenever she needed anything. He then informed her that her personal office was on the 61st floor, right next to Bruce’s office. Stark handed her an I.D. badge to use for all the doors she would need access to.

They reached the lab, and Y/n noticed that it was messier than last time. Bruce was already there too, sitting at the table and reading over a letter.

“As fun as it’s been showing you around, we need to get down to business.” Stark said, clapping his hands together as he did so. Bruce handed her the paper. At the top was the United Nation’s logo. Y/n glanced up at Stark and Bruce expectantly, and then hurriedly read over the paper.

“We have granted permission for your team to pursue this research on the condition that no other humans are given the treatment until further approval.” She read aloud. Her heart was beating so loudly in her ears, she felt like she was screaming. They got approval! She squealed then looked back up at the two men. “I’m gonna give myself ten seconds to celebrate, so cover your ears.”

They plugged their ears with their fingers and Stark held up his watch to count the seconds. Their fingers in their ears did nothing to block out Y/n’s piercing screams. She danced in her spot, and jumped up and down. As soon as Stark signaled that her ten seconds were up, she shut her mouth and stopped jumping, but couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Bruce and Stark grinned widely, too.

“So what do we do next?” She asked. She drummed her hands on the table in excitement.

“We wake Bucky up.” Stark replied.

Good feeling gone.

“Already?” She questioned nervously. She knew this day would come, but did not anticipate it being today.

Stark shrugged, “No point in doing anything else if he says no.”

Y/n thought for a moment and absentmindedly thumbed her necklace. She cleared her throat and nodded, “I’ll go get Steve.”

Steve tapped his foot nervously. He bit his thumbnail and exhaled loudly. Y/n glanced up at him, wrapped her arm through his crossed ones, and squeezed his forearm. They stood with their arms interlocked as Stark’s team of scientists rushed around the room to prepare for Bucky’s ‘unthawing’.

They stood in an open room with white ceilings and floors. The doctors wore white lab coats and they walked around with white clipboards and white glasses. Y/n noted how sterile everything seemed, and how unease it all made her. She was nervous for obvious reasons, but the severity and rigidness of the room, which was so unlike the rest of Stark Towers, was the number one cause for concern.

They wheeled Bucky’s sleeping chamber out onto the main floor where Steve and Y/n waited. Steve’s breath hitched in his throat upon laying his eyes on Bucky’s cryogenically frozen body. Y/n felt her heart stop too. She heard the stories, saw the news, but seeing him in person was something completely different. Seeing his closed eyes, his peaceful face, and his non-ageing body in person was unreal. She even felt a little guilty for thinking he was attractive.

Stark turned back to Steve and Y/n. “Ready?”

Y/n nodded and Stark dipped his head slightly. Steve wasn’t really ready, but he was as ready as he was ever going to be. On the bright side, he’d have his best friend again, but at what cost? Stark moved his attention back to the control panel in front of him. He twisted and flipped some buttons, and with a lot less pomp and circumstance than Y/n imagined, the machine hissed with the sound of thawing ice. The latch on the door turned as the door moved to open itself, exposing Bucky’s body to the fresh air.

As the ice thawed and the hissing grew quieter, time seemed to stop. They all waited in anticipation for that moment when Bucky would take his first breath and he’d open his eyes. And as much as Y/n wanted to watch this moment happen, she couldn’t help but watch her best friend instead. She knew this whole thing was taking a toll on Steve, and he was being such a good sport about it all, but being in the moment was something completely new. Y/n watched Steve’s heartbroken eyes as she heard Bucky’s first inhale. Steve squeezed her hand tighter, and he seemed to start shaking under her touch.

It was when Bucky started coughing loudly that Y/n turned her attention to him. He sat up in his seat so he could see; his flesh hand covered his mouth as he coughed. He eyed the room around him, but calmed down when he recognized his surroundings and most importantly, recognized Steve. His eyes seemed to soften at the sight of his best friend. “Steve…” Bucky whispered. Steve unwrapped himself from Y/n and ran over to Bucky. He sat up in the chamber and wrapped Steve in a tight hug.

“How long was I under?” Bucky asked Steve. Y/n traded a glance with Tony and noticed his rigid stance and nervous expression. The air was tense, and Y/n didn’t know which side of the tension she belonged on.

“A little over two years.” They separated and a man brought Bucky a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants to change into. Bucky hurriedly pulled the shirt over his bare chest and the sweatpants over his boxers. Steve helped him out of the chamber. Bucky wavered slightly, as he wasn’t used to using his legs. He wrapped his metal arm over Steve’s shoulders, and Steve wrapped his arm around Bucky’s waist.

“Why am I back? Did you find a way to fix me?” Y/n’s heart sank at Bucky’s phrasing. He was scared of himself, and Y/n couldn’t imagine what that must be like.

“We think we did.” Steve replied. He motioned back to Y/n, who stood awkwardly in the background with a clipboard and nervous expression. Steve moved Bucky over to her. She put out her hand for him to shake; his touch was cold, but his skin was soft. Y/n’s cheeks reddened and her stomach twisted.

“This is Dr. Y/n Y/l/n: genius, comedian, beauty, and your savior.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and smiled. “Genius is a bit much, but the rest is pretty accurate.” That made Bucky chuckle and Y/n felt slightly better.

“Ah, a Brooklyn gal?” He joked. Bucky studied Y/n from her black boots up to her eager eyes and kind smile. Her homely presence and gentle touch gave Bucky a weird sense of calmness. Bucky noted her awkward cuteness, and grinned.

“Born and raised. Steve and I actually met each other in Brooklyn one day when Sam came to visit my family in Brooklyn.” She traded a glance with Steve, “Anyways, it’s wonderful to meet you. Steve’s told me all about you.”

“Y/n’s been working on a new operation with Stark and Banner.” Steve added.

Bucky did not take his eyes off of Y/n. “What you got for me, Doll?” He asked Y/n, adding a wink at the end for good measure. Y/n remembered Steve telling her that his catchphrase was ‘doll’. She was glad to see that that hadn’t changed.

She laughed, “Well it’s a lot actually. Why don’t we move somewhere more comfortable?” She turned to Tony and nodded at him to follow. Steve, Bucky, Tony, and Y/n moved toward the elevator to head to the top floor. On the elevator, Bucky and Steve chatted the whole way up. Bucky asked about girls, and Y/n was prepared to hear his rant about Sharon that Y/n got months ago, but came up short. He gave a short ‘no’ and Y/n laughed.

The boys turned to her. Bucky leaned against the elevator wall and eyed her. He knew Steve wasn’t being completely honest with him, and Y/n’s laugh gave that away. But he didn’t press the issue; he’d only been out of the ice for five minutes, no point in pissing people off. “What about you, Y/n? You got anybody?”

“I live with Sam. That’s enough to keep anyone from settling down.” She said, making Bucky chuckle again. She told him about how she knew Sam since elementary school, how they’ve been best friends since middle school, and how they’ve been living together since her senior year of high school (really since her dad died, but she wasn’t about to share that).

The elevator reached their designated floor, and everyone filed out one by one. Steve grabbed Y/n’s arm to hold her back as Bucky and Tony moved to the lab.

“What’s wrong?” Y/n questioned, worry lacing her words. Steve waited until they were completely out of ear shot.

“I’m worried about him.”

“What do you mean?”

He crossed his arms, “He hasn’t acted like this since before he fell. I’m afraid that the honeymoon will pass and he’ll snap.”

Y/n reached out and rubbed his bicep. She sighed- she totally understood his fear, but the constant comments from Sam and Steve about Bucky being ‘dangerous’ were starting to piss her off. She swallowed her annoyance and paid attention to her friend. He was so worried about his best friend. Y/n wasn’t completely sure what to say to qualm his anxiety. She grabbed his arm, pulled him into a hug, wrapped her arm around his waist, and squeezed. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and squeezed too. Y/n sighed again. She loved his hugs.

“I know you’re worried. But give him time- give us time. We’ll get him back to the old him.”

They separated and Steve placed a light kiss on her forehead. “I trust you.”

Y/n grinned, “I know. Now, let’s go convince him.”

They walked into the room, and Bucky and Tony were not speaking, which they expected. Bucky was tinkering with a piece of technology that he shouldn’t have been touching and Tony was off in the distance, preparing for their meeting. Y/n noticed Bruce in the corner peering over a computer screen.

“He’s been touching stuff since he got in here.” Bruce said, pointing over to Bucky.

Steve scoffed, “Well he’s a person, not a dog.” Bruce smiled sarcastically. Y/n sat her stuff down on the table and moved over to Bucky. He reached out to touch a laser pointer that definitely would have severed a finger if he’d gotten any closer.

“Don’t touch that.” Y/n yelped. She grabbed his hand and pulled it away from the machine. “If you want to keep what fingers you have left I mean.” She explained at his confused face. She smiled, hoping he’d laugh at her feeble attempt at a joke; he did, wide and unapologetic. She thought it was curious that he seemed so jovial when everyone kept telling her he was the opposite.

He stared at the equipment in front of him, and Y/n stared at him. “Bucky, Y/n.” Steve said. They turned to him sitting at the table, Tony and Bruce patiently waiting. Tony had a file prepared for Bucky and sat it in front of him. Y/n stood at the head of the table with Tony. She suddenly felt super nervous again.

Tony pulled up some of the holographic images again. The first image was a picture of Bucky’s brain, with the temporal lobe highlighted. Y/n cleared her throat and looked at Bucky, “So I’m gonna start off by saying that I came up with these ideas, but I won’t actually be performing the surgery.” She chuckled. Bucky did not react, but she expected that much.

She went through the surgery process, what to expect, how he might forget how to speak for a while, and how Tony and Bruce knew what they were doing. Y/n felt Bucky’s apprehension rise. Tony was going on some tangent about the surgery, when Y/n held up a hand to cut him off.

“What questions do you have?” She asked Bucky at his confused face. His eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled, and Y/n’s heart swelled slightly.

He forced a laugh, “I guess I just don’t understand how a surgery’s gonna fix everything.”

“To be completely honest, it won’t. Part of the treatment is doing therapy a few times a week…with me.” Steve’s eyes widened a bit, he didn’t know about this part, “Part of what we will do is figure out the meaning behind your trigger words, and try to help you heal from the trauma you’ve experienced. Bucky,” She spread her hands on the table and leaned forward to talk directly to him, “you’ve been through a shit ton-”

Tony held his hand up to stop her, “The idea being that to cope with these issues, you need to talk about these issues.”

Y/n shrugged and tugged at the end of her sleeves. Bucky assumed it was a nervous tick of hers. “What I was going to say, but more eloquent.” Bucky thumbed through the papers in the folder, reading over the fine print and scientific jargon to see if he could understand the operation more. “You don’t have to make a decision today. Read over the file tonight, we’ll answer any remaining questions in the morning, and then we can go from there.” Y/n responded, rubbing her hands together and trading glances with the men in the room.

Steve sat forward in his seat and clasped his hands together on the table. “I’ll show Bucky where his room his. We’ll just meet in the morning.”

They all agreed and parted ways. Bucky, head buried in the file, walked with Steve to the elevator to go to the 50th floor where Bucky would be staying. Steve requested that Tony prepare the room next to Bucky’s for himself; that way he could be close to Bucky in the off chance something happened. Y/n finished up some last minute work with Tony and Bruce before retiring to the 60th floor to pick Sam up.

“How’s my favorite scientist?” Sam asked upon seeing Y/n.

“Stark’s upstairs.” She sarcastically replied. She grabbed the coat from Sam’s outstretched hand and threw it over her shoulders. She sighed loudly as she did so.

“Rough day?”

She nodded, “I don’t know who’s stressing me out more, Bucky or Steve.”