#but if this is 'fixed' in their favour sure. THEY won't have it anymore. but the rest of us will

[thefirstknife]

I completely agree with your point. I rarely play pvp and I wanted the helmet from iron banner, so I had to get into the crucible for the first time in years and I would get completely crumb stomped every other game or two. I played to the point where I basically reset my rank when I got the helmet it was demoralizing. Yea sure I'm not the best pvp player but going up against sweats is extremely frustrating when I'm either trying to get better or just playing for a specific armor piece or weapon, and I just get killed repeatedly by the same person or I'm just dead more often than I'm actually alive. If it's frustrating for a casual player, then the sweats should get frustrated too from going up against each other. Just saying

(sorry for slight rant hope your day is going well)

Yep and that's honestly an experience most of us can attest to. It's incredibly frustrating and pushes people away from the Crucible entirely. I genuinely have weeks where I just don't play it, even when I need the pinnacle. I would rather do anything else for the pinnacle. I don't care if I miss that one because I am just not enjoying my time being stuck in spawn.

And the best thing is that like. If you're a pro player, shouldn't you strive to compete with pros? To show off your skill? Because if you're in a lobby with 0.6 kds and you're getting a 37 killstreak, you're not impressive to me? When I want to watch pros, I prefer watching them go against other pros.

I know they say stuff like "but sometimes I want to relax in the Crucible!" Which... Fair! So do I! And I can't! There is no Crucible mode where I can go to relax and play casually because every mode is a sweat fest to me. The fact that you HAVE that option in the first place is already a massive difference. A pro can load into quick play and turn his brain off and stomp casuals. And now suddenly they can't do that anymore. And they think this is some sort of a slight instead of literally just being a FIX. You never should've been able to do that in the first place.

Like, sorry but that's not how pvp in a video game should function. Quick play should be "casual" to everyone, not just to you. Right now when I'm in quick play, I feel like I can compete and I have more interest to give it a go. There's still issues, but most regular players said that SBMM made their games much more even and better to experience. We still have to tryhard in a lot of them, but there's no overwhelming stomps where I'm just stuck and can't leave.

The only way stomps can happen to pros is if the matchmaking messes up and one pro gets 5 casuals on their team while the other team is 6 pros. Which is definitely an issue with matchmaking to talk about! But the idea of putting pros vs pros is not the problem by itself. Again, there's definitely issues because the pro population isn't that high so it has to be mixed with non-pros sometimes, but that's a much deeper issue and a completely different one. SBMM benefits the most people and any SBMM-specific problems (like the weird mix-ups where one team has too many pros while the other doesn't) can be dealt with on their own.

But even then it's like. Okay, sometimes a pro will experience a stomp. Okay. It's already like that to me. You can handle it. I've been told all my life to learn to handle it and to "git gud." So you know. Again, very little sympathy from me towards the gaming community.

[ettelenethelien]

Maglor in the Third Age:

he's stopped his shtick of only keeping to the seashores sometime in the early second age

look, it's lonely. also, probably a waste of time and everything. he's not fixing anything that way.

so, by the third age, he's just travelling here and there... as often as not, it is the coastal regions of middle-earth, but, ultimately, he goes pretty much everywhere.

sometimes he gets some money by playing at inns and doing odd jobs for mortals. he's gotten used to making an illusion of not having glowy amanyar eyes, because it makes the non-numenorean peoples take interest, and the gondorians and arnorians know

he just keeps adopting children? it's not his fault!

he doesn't steal children anymore. unless they're mistreated. let's just say he may be starting off many changeling myths (though not only him; elves in general will always approach a child they see treated badly and ask if it needs help)

a lot of those kids (from a hundred different cultures) just go a-wandering with him? half of them end up as the greatest musicians among men. but he drops the ones that want to off at rivendell.

elrond knows it's maglor. he also hardly ever gets to see him because maglor is stealthy.

mmm, if there are any places he avoids it's the elvish realms.

and yet, he does come to rivendell in secret, once in a while. and even pays a suprise visit to galadriel.

galadriel has last spoken to him at the mereth aderthad. yes, she's mad. no, she won't miss an occasion to speak with old kin in the language of her youth.

he does not go to mirkwood. ever. that would be suicide, and he is good at reassuring himself that he's doing the mirkwood elves a favour by not giving them flashbacks and not making them kinslayers.

all in all, he travels around.

he definitely is part of many "resistance movements" against sauron in the South whenever things get bad

there's probably some resentment there because it's easy enough to mistake him for someone of númenorean descent ? (that noldorin appearance + the only answer he gives when asked his age is "older than I look")

he probably replies to accusations of gondorian affiliation by "I'm a far off relation but I'm pretty sure I'd be hated there"?

that works I guess. somehow "villainous character from stories of the elder days" isn't a potential reason they come up with, unlike say, helping the people gondor would colonise.

though he's a bit wrong on that count because a fair bit of learned gondor sees him as mostly tragic

[shiinata-library]

Imagine: Being too focused

Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Bilbo's reactions when they understand you're just very focused on your job.

You joined Thorin's company in Bree when they stayed at The Prancing Pony. Gandalf recommended you as a guide throughout Middle earth because he knew he won't always be with them. After a long, complicated discussion between him and Thorin, he finally accepted you, but not as a company member, rather as an optional person like Gandalf. So no contract, no part of treasure, and no responsibility for him. 

As you just owed a big favour to Gandalf, you were okay with that. As a Ranger of the North, you know Middle earth by heart, so leading them to Erebor will be easy, right?

Thorin

From the start, you ride on a horse, always before everyone, alone staring at the horizon to be sure of the way. 

As you're alone, you never talk to anyone. Gandalf is the only one to talk to you sometimes during the day. 

Focused on your task to guide them, you don't realise the dwarves are suspicious about you, and you don't try to talk to you either. 

You used to eat with Gandalf and Bilbo.

Thorin is the only dwarf who talks to you when he needs it. Only to be sure you took the right way, to tell the truth. 

It's hard to believe it but Thorin finds your quiet, cold attitude a little intimidating. Just a little bit. 

The first time he sees you laugh is in Rivendell, with Lord Elrond and his two sons after the dinner. Something inside him makes him angry, but he prefers focusing on the map of his father rather than thinking of you. 

The second time he sees your serious face broken is when he hugs the hobbit, on the Carrock. But a second later, he is looking at Erebor. He has no time to waste on a woman. He has to stay focused on the quest.

In Laketown, you should be on your guard when the Master of the town offers you to stay freely in an inn for the last night before going to Erebor, but Bilbo makes you taste a glass of wine, then another, then another… 

How much wine did you drink? 🤷 What did you do after? Dancing with Bofur? Laughing with Fíli and Kíli? An arm-wrestling match with Dwalin? 🤷 The only thing you know was that you need to cool your head, so you take your coat and get out.

“We’re starting to think you left,” Thorin says as he walks toward you after closing the inn’s door. “Well, now you all are here, you don’t need me anymore. But, no. I just needed to cool my head.” 

Thorin stops next to you, so close that you feel his warmth. His coat looks much warmer than yours, but you should stop fixing it. The both of you chat for a while until you realise it’s the first time you really chat with him, and it’s quite pleasant. Plus, he seems as relaxed as you, maybe because of the wine.

Even if you friendly chat with him, you don’t realise you keep your serious face while he smiles at you. He is the future King under the mountain, you can’t laugh with him like any friend, right? At some point, the winter wind makes you shiver, but you’re not cold for long. With the thick coat of Thorin on your shoulders, you are very warm. “Oh, hm, thanks, but you should keep it,” you say, very embarrassed but truly glad to be warm. Even if you smile, you try to hide your embarrassment by tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

This gesture and your embarrassing face changes something in Thorin’s heart. He never saw you embarrassed and he can’t help but find you very cute and attractive. If you were closer, he would try to do more things to see your shyness tonight. Maybe later, in Erebor, once he will have his mountain back.

Fíli

He and his brothers try to make you laugh more than once with jokes or tricks, but they never succeed.

Yet, Fíli is often quiet and more observant than you think. He sees you smile sometimes, but mostly at the moments he doesn’t expect it.

The first time he sees you beam is just after the trolls. You find a good, light elvish sword and try it alone. A very good sword! 

You don’t realise it either, but you smile every day when you eat, sitting before a pretty landscape. Some old ruins coloured by the sunset, for example. 

But the moment he sees your most radiant smile is in a small town, in the middle of nowhere. Thorin had decided to stay in a town, leaving everyone else to disperse for their own purchase. A man joins you and hugs you for a long time. Too long to his liking, to tell the truth. You’re also smiling too much for a man who isn’t him.

The night you stay in the town, in the same inn as everyone. In a town, they don’t need you to guide them, so you can rest. You eat your dinner at the inn with the man you met in the afternoon, a friend you haven't seen for a long time.

After finishing your dinner together, your friend leaves on an overnight mission to the region. No sooner has he left than Fíli joins you at your table as you drink your wine. 

“Are you bored with us, or do you dislike us?” he asks as he sits on a chair next to you. “I mean, is it boring to join a company of dwarfs?”

You frown. It’s not the first time you talk to him, but it’s the first time you’re alone with him, and you’re surprised by his question. “No, absolutely not. Why do you think that?”

“You never smile or join us in the evening over the fire,” he says as he looks you in the eye, waiting for your answer.

“Oh, I’m sorry. During the day I’m focused on the road and in the evening, I plan the way for the next day according to the stars, and it takes time. I would feel bad if I took the wrong way and delayed your journey,” you reply with a smile before sipping your wine.

Surprised by your smile, he accidentally spills his ale on your trousers and his. He immediately stands up, apologising endlessly. 

You burst out laughing, telling him it’s alright, you have another one clean in your bag. His clumsiness is so out of character that you laugh for a while.

After this night, he knows the sound of you laughing is the most melodious sound he has ever heard, and he knows he wants to hear it every day for the rest of his life.

Kíli 

From the start, you ride on a horse always before everyone, alone staring at the horizon to be sure of the way. 

As you're alone, you never talk to anyone, except maybe Gandalf. He is the only one to talk to you sometimes during the day, or Bilbo because he is never far from Gandalf. 

The two young brothers are always trying to make you laugh or get your attention, but it doesn’t work. You don't even do it on purpose. You’re too focused on your job to notice them.

One afternoon, you open your map to be sure to go through the right place but a small rock goes through your map and makes a hole in it. First, you’re surprised, then when you’re about to look around you, you hear, “Kíli! What have you done again? Can’t you behave for one day?” Thorin shouts to his nephew as you look back to your map. Luckily, the rock made a hole in the sea and the rest of the paper wasn't damaged.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t want to pierce the map! Is it damaged? I’m sorry!” he says, riding closer in the front, with you and Thorin. “It was just a joke!” You sigh and turn back to do your job without a word while Thorin continues to reprimand him like a child.

After some ups and downs, you arrive in Rivendell. If the first time he sees you smile isn’t with two elves, Kíli would be happy to see it, but when Elladan and Elrohir find you, they welcome you so warmly that you forget almost everything you've been through. Arwen joins you too and you spend more time with them than the dwarves. He sees you smiling during the whole stay in Rivendell, and from the moment you all flee in the Misty mountains, you put on your serious face again, focused on the road.

One very cold night, Thorin decided to stop in a cave, with a small fire just to make dinner. It’s really because you owe a debt to Gandalf that you’re still with them. He is not even coming with you in the Misty Mountains’ snow! You’re within a hair's breadth of return to Rivendell, but when you see the Hobbit is still here, you can make an effort. Are you a ranger or not?

Focused on blowing on your hands to keep your warm, you startle when Kíli kneels before you and hands you a bowl of soup. “Here, it’ll warm you a little,” he says with a light smile. You’re surprised it’s not Bilbo who gives your meal as usual, even more when Kíli sits next to you with his own bowl, but you don't pay attention. A warm soup is just what you need to think about right now.

When Kíli sees you smile as you eat your bowl, he loses his words. It’s the first time you smile for him. Well, technically not for him, but thanks to him, right? Then, he realises the soup is not the only thing that warms him up. 

Once you finish your soup, your hands are quickly cold and you restart blowing on it. When Kíli sees that, he removes his coat and slips it on your back. It’s too big for you and so warm. For some seconds, you beam and close the coat on you, until you notice Kíli is now in a tunic. “Are you crazy? You will catch a cold like that! Take it back!” you exclaim, losing your smile. “It takes more than that for a dwarf to get sick,” he laughs as he takes his blanket from his bed. “And I have a blanket!”

His smile and attention make you blush, so you close his coat even more on you to hide your face. But it doesn’t escape Kíli's notice. If giving you soup makes you smile and giving you a coat makes you blush, he already starts to think about all the things he could give you to see all your expressions.

Bilbo 

Bilbo is a curious hobbit, so when Gandalf talks to you, he often joins him. On the road, at dinners, at breaks, …

Always riding at the front of the company, you intrigue him from the beginning. You’re very quiet compared to the dwarves. You never complain and speak only to indicate the way.

When Fíli and Kíli come to the front to talk to you, you answer vaguely, even when they make jokes.

One evening you all rest in an inn in a small town, you join Gandalf and Bilbo for dinner. A waitress finds you and serves you the meal you ordered. Bilbo notices your smile at the view of the warm dinner while they are also waiting for theirs. Something in his heart warms him up, but he doesn’t know if it’s because of the view of the meal or your smile. He tries to forget it when his meal comes.

During that very dinner, you couldn’t decide on the meal to order, so you ask Bilbo if you can taste his meal. He looks surprised by your request but lets you do it. Oh, his meat pie is as good as your roast pork!

As Bilbo prefers staying with you in each town the company passes or rests, you often share a meal with him, and your love for good food makes you want to try as many dishes as possible. One day, you meet a friend in a new town. A childhood ranger friend. Everyone is surprised when you call him. He runs to you and hugs you with all the strength he has. Your laugh echoes for so long that the dwarves go back to their business. 

But not Bilbo. He stays with you and you introduce him to your friend. The three of you end up dinner together in the town’s inn. After they bring your meals, you taste yours, then the one of Bilbo like you used to. Your friend ordered the same as you.

“Y/n?” he asks you, wincing. “It’s me,” you reply, your head still leaning on your plate. “Tell me you know what it means to share a meal like this with a hobbit.”

You shrug, continuing to eat. You don’t see Bilbo blushing and finishing his meal quickly. The silence makes you raise your head. Your friend is smiling, and Bilbo seems trying to say something but he stammers, “I. Well. You. Well.”

“Wait, it means something?” you finally ask, putting your fork and knife on the table. Your friend sighs. You’ve never been interested in Hobbits before, but you know your friend used to watch their lands for years. “It’s a courting thing, or for married ones,” he eventually laughs.

“What? But nobody told me! Either Gandalf, or even Bilbo! Hey Bilbo, why didn't you ever tell me?” you ask as he stammers some words about some things he has to do, and leaves you.

Oh. So, your friend is right.

Bilbo avoids you since then, and you’re too focused to do your job to speak with him. Well, in truth, you try to stay focused but when you notice you made a mistake, turning at the wrong path, you’re so embarrassed that you spend your day apologising to Thorin. “Don’t worry, lass, mistakes happen,” Balin tells you the night of the incident with a comforting smile.

You feel so stupid that you isolate yourself behind a rock to avoid Thorin’s look. At some point, you hear steps toward you and eventually see Bilbo. He stops in front of you with a bowl of Bombur’s stew.

“Can I sit next to you?” he asks. It’s the first time he has spoken to you since he ran away. You nod and take the bowl. You finally talk both of you like you used to until you search in your bag and get out a cookie.

“Will you share it with me?” you ask as you cut the cookie in half. “Y-you’re sure?” he asks as he is about to take half of the cookie you hand him. “I’m sure,” you say with the first smile of your day. Then Bilbo realises he missed your smile more than he thought. But when you eat your piece of cookie, he understands how much more he missed your smile when you were eating. Luckily for him, he has some food in his bag waiting to share with you. 

[bangtaninborderland]

Risk It All (27)- Temporary Goodbyes

Genre: Chishiya X F!reader | eventual smut | angst

Warning: none for this!

A/N: ignore me spam posting these 😭

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It had been four days since AN  and Kuina had arrived, you'd spent the first catching up, the second discussing the borderlands, and the third making a run to the closest store which went surprisingly well considering  Chishiya had to explain the way from home and the fourth dragging Chishiya from bed to join the land of the living once again.

His wounds had healed enough to walk around, barely....

"I said no Chishiya." You slammed the cupboard door. "It's too dangerous."

"If I don't go my visit is going to run out." He retorts. "There are no choices here."

You huff, blowing a strand of hair out of your face. "We don't even know if we need visas anymore."

"I'm not risking it and I know you won't either." You know Kuina and An can hear everything, it's not like the walls are thick but you're thankful they let you both have your privacy. "We don't know when the next game will start."

You pull out a packet of rice and pour it into a pot. "Don't use terms like 'we' when you decide this all on your own."

"I did but you shouldn't expect any different." You can practically hear him shrugging. "I have to leave today."

"You can't even walk let alone win a game!" You shout, the bag of rice ripping open and spilling everywhere. "Fuck."

"Let me help." Chishiya says, limping over to you. "Just sit do-

"Stop trying to baby me! I can handle a bag of spoilt rice Chishiya. You can't handle an adult conversation where you discuss something as important as joining another game yet you can help me clean up unimportant messes?"

He frowns. "That's not what you're mad about."

You know it's not. "Whatever just go away."

"I'm leaving to enter the game today." He reminds you.

"I know."

"Are you going to join?"

You shake your head. "I don't need to, not yet."

He nods. "How many days on your visa?"

It hadn't been something you'd begun to worry about, the time was more than enough. "I think 11"

"I'll be fine." He mumbles.

You hate that he seems to understand why you're upset. "I know you will."

"You're scared." He points out as though it's not obvious.

You forgo cleaning the rice in favour of pushing your way into his arms. "I'm terrified, what if you don't come back?"

"I will." He reassures you, his hand hesitantly brushing against your waist. "Don't think about pointless things like that, if I die you just keep going."

"Don't say stuff like that!" You smack his arm, tears threatening to fall. "You can't die Chishiya."

"Why?" He asks, pulling back a little to look at you.

The words are no more than a whisper but you knew he heard them considering how close your bodies were.  "Because I need you."

He laughs, shaking his head. "You don't need anyone, I don't need anyone, you want."

"Fine then I fucking want you okay. Is it so bad I want you to be safe?"

"I will be."

It's easy to ignore the way your nose grows stuffy as you shed a few tears. "You don't know that."

"I do."

"How." You mumble into his chest.

He looks the the ceiling as though genuinely considering his answer. "Because you don't know how to fix the power generator if it goes out and I'm pretty sure if it does you'll die which although seems great because I'll never have to hear you complain again is more trouble than it's worth considering the fact there's a great chance you'll follow me to the afterlife, which by the way I don't believe it, and you'll continue to be just as irritating there too."

You push him away in favour of going back to clean the rice. "I should have let you bleed out on the doorstep.

"You wouldn't do that." He laughs

You ask him. "Why are you so sure?"

"Because I fucking need you." He imitates you.

It's almost like a reflex when you throw the broom at him. "Fuck you."

"Can't, don't have condo-"

Kuina pushes past Chishiya, opening up the cupboard containing the canned food. "This looks fun but I'm hungry."

Chishiya glares at you whilst you hold back a laugh, your chest shaking as you try to be quiet.

"Can't wait to leave." You hear him mutter as he sits down at the table.

Kuina looks at him before pointing to the hall. "Door is right there."

"Great, now I won't get lost." He thanks sarcastically.

You watch them bicker as you tip the dirty rice into a bag, a smile on your face as you force yourself to forget the fact that in a few hours, the house that had become somewhat of a temporary home would be lacking one crucial person.

Lunch passes by as no more than a blur, the food you'd helped Kuina make sitting practically untouched on your plate by the time everyone else had finished. "You weren't hungry?" An asks, taking your plate as you'd asked.

"Not really." You force a smile. "I'm going to lay down for a little I think my head is starting to hurt."

You don't wait for a response from anyone before you pull yourself up, walking directly to the bedroom and closing the door behind you.

It turns out that forgetting Chishiya would be gone was harder to forget than you'd ever imagine.

You don't ask who it is when there's a knock on the door, your instincts know who it is before they walk inside. "You're being a crybaby."

"Fuck you." You know it is probably ineligible from the way your face is buried in the pillows that you and Chishiya share but you don't care. "Go away."

The bed dips as he sits down."I'm not going away, not until later."

"Stop making jokes." 

"Look you're right, I could die but I won't and if I do you'll be okay. I told you not to fall for me, not here but you didn't listen and this is what the outcome is. I won't baby you and tell you that it's going to be fine because we both know what could happen but I'd rather not leave here with you being sad and depressed." You force yourself to look at him despite how awful you must appear.

"Because you'd struggle in the game if I was sad?"

He snorts before schooling his face when he catches your expression. "I wouldn't let it affect me so no but afterwards it would be annoying."

"If there even is an afterwards." You say aloud with it thinking.

"I haven't lost a game up to now and I won't anytime soon so stop being ridiculous and come and show me how to play this stupid card game you kept mumbling about ." He pulls the blanket off you.

You manage to smile at the way he remembered the conversation you'd had two days ago. Chishiya, still unable to get out of bed, you'd wanted to try and keep him company, but despite your 30-minute pleading session for him to let you teach him a few of your favourite card games he had refused.

"Chishiya?" You grab his hand before he opens the door.

He spins on his heel to face you. "Yeah?"

"Please don't die on me."

"I won't." He smiles, pulling the door open.

Kuina and An are already sitting around the makeshift table, the deck of cards in the middle with various snacks dotted around the floor.

You take a seat on one of the pillows, Chishiya sitting beside you. Kuina catches your eye, mouthing an "Are you okay?"

You nod with a smile, despite knowing you looked sad. You wanted to enjoy today, even if it was for a short while you could pretend like everything was normal. "Isn't it morbid playing card games considering where we are?"

You laugh at the question An asks as she shuffles the cards. "Not really, I think it's kind of ironic."

"Idiotic more like." Chishiya scoffs.

You and Kuina both roll your eyes at the comment, An seemingly unbothered as she hands you the pack of cards to which you deal out equally.  "So the name of the game is called cheat but some people call it-"

"Bullshit." An finishes.

You raise your eyebrows at her. "You know it?"

"Of course I do." She laughs. "I'm the best at it."

"I doubt it."

You both laugh, as Kuina and Chishiya stare at you both in confusion. "The game also has another name, some people refer to it as "I doubt it."

"Ohhhhh!" Kuina claps. "Now I get it."

"Okay forget this im going to sleep." Chishiya makes to stand but you pull him back down by the pocket of his pants.

"Sit and shut up." He raises his eyebrows in something akin to shock before huffing and sliding back down into his previous position. "So as I was saying, the player to the left of the dealer, which would be Kuina, starts by placing between 1-4 cards face down in a discard pile in the centre. The player must state what the cards they have placed down are but they do not have to tell the truth. They do however have to keep the value the same. For example, I could say I have the 3 kings but place down 3 of the clubs... are you all following?"

You wait for all three of them to say yes before continuing. "The other players can call "cheat" or "bullshit if they think the player is lying about the value of their cards."

"So what happens then?" Chishiya asks, looking at his cards.

"Well, I'd say Kuina, for example, were to say that if you were to call cheat you would have to show your cards to everyone. If Kuina was right you would have to pick up all the cards in the centre, then it would be Kuina's turn to go. If Kuina is wrong, the person on the left of the player, which would be me, will go next."

"And if no one calls the bullshit thing?" You almost choke at hearing Chishiya cuss but you hold it back.

"Well I would take my turn but I must declare the value of my cards to be only one up or down from what you have said yours is." You answer him before turning back to Kuina and An. "For example, Chishiya says his cards were kings. I would have to say mine are queens, kings or aces."

Kuina nods enthusiastically, smiling at her cards. Her body angled away from the rest of the table. "I get it, so how do you know who the winner is."

"The person who gets rid of all their cards first is the winner."

Chishiya hums. "Who's going first?"

"An?" You offer.

"Sure." She smiles, placing down one card. "I have the 7 of diamonds."

"Bullshit." Chishiya spits with a grin the second she finishes her sentence.

You can't stop yourself from laughing at how his face falls when An turns over her card, the 7 of diamonds. "Don't forget to pick it up."

"Go away." He huffs, picking up the card as though it's tainted.

The game passes like that, thankfully no arguments arise despite a near miss when Kuina calls Chishiya a liar because "you're a bad liar your face looks weird when you lie." Only for him to respond with "Your face looks weird all the time but I still believe you when it's necessary."

You'd had so much fun playing, the memory of your sister beside you as you silently remember the way you used to help her cheat at the game against her friends. She would always call you her eyes.

"I have to leave soon." Chishiya whispered as he pulled you aside, Kuina and An still at the table packing up the cards. "I need to be there before I miss my opportunity."

"I know but can't you stay just a little longer?" You ask, fighting the urge to lock him in the bedroom and prevent him from leaving.

"I can't risk not getting a place in the game. I'll be back but I have to leave soon."

"How soon?" You don't need him to answer, the sickening feeling in your stomach tells you what you need to know.

He looks to the floor. "In the next thirty minutes."

You bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to cry. "Okay."

"Fuck." He huffs, grabbing your wrist. "Come with me."

You let him pull you into the bedroom, waiting until he closes the door to speak. "What's wrong?"

"I'm going to come back but if I don't the generator won't hold out with all three of you using it for an extended period of time. If it comes between saving yourself, Kuina or An you know what to choose."

You ignore the subtlety of his message. "You'll come back it doesn't matter if the generator won't work."

"I will but if I don't."

"But you will." You insist.

"I will."

"Chishiya?" You whisper, taking a step closer.

"Hmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

He takes a step closer, closing the already small gap between you. "Are you incapable of making your own decisions?"

"No?" You shake your head.

"Then don't ask."

If you could freeze a moment in time this would be it, his hand resting against your hip, albeit awkwardly. His lips pressed against yours, your body ignoring the need for oxygen by supplementing it with a need for him.

He is the one who breaks the kiss, his eyes mapping out your face before smiling a little. "You'll be fine."

"You have to come back."

His tone was definitive. "I will. I should leave now, don't come out until I leave. I'll tell Kuina to come in here." 

You so badly wanted to beg him to stay, the fear that he was walking into his death was almost crushing and despite how final the words felt you'd hate yourself forever if you missed an opportunity to say them. "I love you, please be safe."

"Tell me when this is all over." He places a light kiss on your forehead before extracting himself from your hold and leaving the room. You watch as the door closes behind him, the silence in the room is deafening without him.

You tried so hard to ignore the sound of the front door opening and closing, so so hard, but you couldn't, you couldn't stop yourself from hearing him leave nor stop the tears you'd been holding back since early morning.

He was gone and you, you were truly realising just how lonely the Borderlands were.

[hermesserpent-stuff]

@lirabuswavi and I’s convo about the mystic misunderstanding au

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Au premise: in which hiccup being a runt would have made him revered in the hunter tribe and when they find out they start giving him offerings.

this post focuses on the Hunters and Viggos adoption schemingl!

L stands for them and H stands for me.

H: Hiccup tries to avoid the hunter's island for a bit to stop the harassment of the other riders, aside from the promised wedding. He even refuses to ride toothless/stops operating the fin. This leads to issues. But Astrid's happy cause hiccup’s not vanishing as much.

L: Oof, I bet the hunters are real unhappy. They've displeased the soothsayer! Even worse, they upset him! They have to fix it! I can imagine their idea of 'fixing' things will either go really well, or really badly.

H: They end up at the edge all looking sad. This turns to rage when it is revealed that it's hiccup trying to please the dragon riders. Who might have just earned eternal enemies. Hiccup gets a little bit kidnapped by toothless working with the hunters, a sure sign from Freya that hiccup should stay with them for a bit.

L: Surprisingly, the twins help Hiccup out. Not out of any charity, mind you. But when Hiccup was disappearing often, they got up to a lot more shit with Hiccup not there to stop them and they liked that freedom. Also, Hiccup's moping face when he was there was annoying and bringing down the moods of all the dragons. Barf and Belch hardly wanted to play with them anymore! Unconscionable! Also, it would really piss Astrid off and she's been annoying them a lot lately. Go forth Hiccup! Do your soothing things! Don't think about it too hard, just go!

This act of generous anarchy disturbs the hunters. It's good for Hiccup to have the fleeting favour of such beings of chaos, and when he doesn't have their favour he can still manage them. Hiccup's wasted on these riders. If they become dragon riders, maybe it'll force Hiccup to spend more time with them!

H: Hahhahhhahaaaa and thus the dragon training begins

L: Astrid's going to lose it when she finds out. She accuses Hiccup of endangering the dragons, which is a step too far. She can accuse Hiccup of endangering himself all she wants, but the dragons? Accusing him of deliberately putting them in harms way, as if he hadn't personally vetted every new dragon rider and observed their match ups himself, and regularly checked in with all of them to check for mistreatment on either side? He's hurt. He thought Astrid knew him better, knew he'd never endanger a dragon (as long as they weren't already trying to eat him). If she thinks Hiccup's a total screw up then she can just leave him alone, like everyone on Berk did before he had Toothless. Like she did, before he had Toothless. Astrid fucked up big time, and the Acumens ceartinly won't help her any. Curses upon her for questioning and insulting the soothsayer. Whatever she gets is what's coming to her.

H: HA HA pain!!! Hiccup just is just swamped in memories of Berk pre toothless from his dad's reactions to the Astrid's words. He spends a lot of time hiding in his house/shrine with the Acumens. They have a lot of knowledge that makes staying easier and Viggo is fun to talk to when they are not in a semi war state.

L: Y'know, with former hunters starting to become dragon riders, I think they'd have a lot of underlying guilt. They love their dragons, they’re their friends. They can't imagine hurting them like they've hurt others of their kind. Hiccup holds a semi-formal group councilling session of resolving past guilt over it. He shares the story of how he's the one who shot down Toothless, and he's the one who stole his flight. But then he tried to do better, to fix what he'd hurt, and look at them now! Inseparable! It's okay that they feel guilt over what they've done, it's perfectly understandable. But what matters is what they do with it, and learning how to be better and do better is a worthy pass time.

H: They love him all the more for his kindness in talking them through the emotions and are determined to treat their dragons with enough love to fill the ocean. Hiccup is then invited to come oversee and bless egg hatchings.

L: Aww, so cute! Hiccup's happy that the dragons trust him too, not just their riders. He really feels like he's doing good and making a difference here. And when he compares that to how he feels on Berk... well, he doesn't particularly like the conclusions he's coming to. How is he making more of a difference here than he ever did as heir there? What kind of cruel irony is it that the very thing he was shunned for is what the Acumens love him for? Almost makes him wish that he was born to the Acumens than the hairy hooligans.

H: Bum bum bum. He better not say that aloud too .. well anyone but especially not Viggo and Ryker who are very glad for the happiness of their tribe and the new ways of making money that are way more profitable than trying to hunt and fight hiccup at the same time. They might ... Give him a statue.

L: I'll be honest, I forgot about the adoption statue so I assumed you meant a literal frieze of Hiccup. And I can imagine how that conversation would go.

Hiccup: The people want to what? A statue? Of me? Anything but that?

Viggo, loophole exploiter extraordinaire: Anything? Okay, how about we downsize. Just take this little one. And keep it on your person in a visible area for the next week, just so people know we're already doing something.

Hiccup, slightly desperate: Done.

H: HaHAHA now that would be wild. Yesss Viggo would totally do that and the tribe would very much approve. They know it's probably not a spoken adoption but it's up to the gods to reject it if thats the case. So when the statue remains unlost they start plotting a party.

L: Hiccup: This is in no way what I meant.

Viggo: You said anything, my dear. You should know better by now. And I can also see that you still have statue, even knowing what it means.

Hiccup:... I'm not going to be the one to explain this to my father.

Viggo: Don't worry! I've been wanting a chance to talk to him for quite a while.

Hiccup: Ominous, but okay.

H: They have to hold a Thing!!!!!!

It'll be great!!

Both tribes can show up and the hunters are not impressed at all

L: Many a backhanded comment aimed at Hiccup. Wow, I can't believe HE'S getting adopted. Their traditions are so... quaint. Really, running away from his responsibilities again?

Hiccup is very uncomfortable. The Acumens are angry. This is supposed to be a nice thing! How dare they ruin it! But they know fighting would only upset Hiccup even more. Their best strategy is distractions and getting in between them, letting the new brothers take up most of Hiccup's attention.

H: They have their own back handed comments to give. A three hundred year war with dragons and they still question if living with dragons in the village is a good thing and sent them away more than once? How... Barbaric. Oh, you didnt think to use dragons to find other dragons till toothless came to save hiccup... Who they put in danger to begin with?? How funny. This tribe is . Just. So. Funny. Side whispering to Viggo about whether if a baby war just to take over Berk would be worth it or if it would make the people more obnoxious

L: Conquering them would mean being forced to live with them, because killing them all would upset Hiccup. Easier to just... keep them over there. Ignore them. They might be even more offended to be dismissed than it would to go to war with them. So an overt war is a bad idea. Now, a passive aggressive war comprised of petty vengeances that cannot be overtly proved as in bad faith? Very much up Viggo's alley. Maybe they can even negotiate an agreement with the twins as their inside people. They'd get payed to prank people? Sign them up! Just don't be surprised when they turn on you. Which Viggo wouldn't be, he's familiar with alliances of convenience and how they can turn.

H: tribe wide pettiness ensues. and there is a whole part of the tribal budget dedicated to paying off the twins. its a bit of a tribute too to keep loki from messing with the tribe too much... and it seems to sorta work lol.

L: Ruffnut and Tuffnut would be delighted to be properly recognized as disciples of Loki. They like that the Acumens take them seriously, as opposed to Berk's begrudging tolerance and overall mockery. Y'know, if you think about it, you could see some parallels between Hiccup and the twins. They didn't really have any friends before the dragon riders. They were mocked and their ideas not taken seriously by everyone. But where they really differed was in how they adapted. Hiccup hid and stayed small to keep attention off of him. The twins went big and loud, so no one could ignore them. They made themselves unpredictable and quasi-intimidating, so no one could push them around like people did to Hiccup. And, most significantly, they had each other. Hiccup has no one, but the twins always had each other to back up. But Hiccup didn't have anyone before Toothless. I wonder what it would be like, if there was only one twin? How much quieter would they be, would they hide like Hiccup?

If you can't tell, I really like the twins.

H: they would not have survived, they are a matched set.

but they would love the recognition yes

[supernovafeather]

Ok, I’m back now lol.

So, may I please request a sequel to Sour Reality, in which either even during the pregnancy, Leto still favours Lady Jessica over the reader and then the reader escapes to be with her lover who is willing to take care of the baby and her

OR

The reader and Leto have a slow burn start to their relationship in which at first, they see it as a duty to remain together and then they slowly, but surely fall in love, idk how Lady Jessica will feel about that one though lol

OR

Whatever you can do with it! I’m just very interested in a sequel because your writing is so good

Thankssss!

Sorry for the wait, here it is ! 😊

Sour Reality (Part 2)

Leto Atreides x F!Reader

Content : pregnant!reader, mention of past cheating (both), hurt/comfort, nudity, mention of sexual elements.

Thank you for reading please comment and reblog if you liked it ! 😊

Link to PART 1

It has been strange to see the gazes following you only due to this belly swelling under the fabrics of your clothes. Is their joy at the announcement of your pregnancy directed to you, or to themselves ? After all you getting a child with your husband is reassuring. They have felt the tension raging in your couple, gazes more similar to swords clashing than to love letters.

Leto. From what you know he has turned into a reliable partner. Jessica never came too close to your couple and he didn't tend to disappear anymore to slip in her sheets. Marital duty is possible, at the price of accepting it to be more a display of will to fight than anything else. The best way to start it is by arguing loudly before your mutual inflated egos stop playing with words to to play with each other's bodies.

You. Without pretending to be perfect you see yourself as superior. You are carrying a future child, cheated only once on your husband that betrayed you five times with his former concubine from what he had told you. In bed, you let him take you, staring at the ceiling as you listen to his sighs and your hand in his curls. Yes you love the way he glares at you with a hateful gaze during his thrusts. It changes from the puppy eyes he sends you when you abuse him verbally.

"There is nothing healthy."

Stating the obvious became a habit of his when you lay next to each other in your bed. Leto is not a man that likes to waste his time with that kind of thing but if it can help his House, then he does it. But really, what is it going to change ?

"I know," you answer annoyed in the dark, "I won't fix it. It's impossible."

"I think it is," he whispers, "we are already doing better."

"Yeah listen to us. Wonderful."

He sighs and you take a deep breath as you feel his hand violating your personal space to caress your belly gently.

"I want it to work better before the baby's arrival. Not necessarily full of love between us. But at least for him or her."

"I've promised you I wouldn't use our baby as a weapon against you. I'm not that kind of person misguided with pettiness." You snarl.

Leto retrieves his hand without a word but you can feel him not moving on the mattress. His body must still be turned towards yours. To be honest you miss this peaceful intimacy between you but it's just too much.

"Have you thought of a name ?" He asks.

You open your eyes in the dark, narrowing them as you think of his question.

"No ? Not yet no."

"I've been thinking of a few ones. What about combining some from both of our families ?"

That is not the right moment to discuss about it. Your back hurts, you are exhausted, the food served for dinner was tasteless after hours of craving these precise ingredients. Everything is disappointing, people tend to alternate between admiration for your condition and disdain because they think you can't move at all. And yet, you take another deep breath. Leto is willing to make things work. Try.

"What do you mean by combining names ?"

As you turn your head to his side of the bed you feel the faint breeze of his breath caressing your lips. He must be closer than expected, or leaning towards you.

"First name from one of our ancestors. Middle name from the other's ancestor. So our child can actually identify to both branches and know that despite everything we love him or her."

A lump forms in your throat. Everyday you wonder how beautiful his genuine care and love for his future child would have been in a happy couple. You don't think it comes from any hormonal changes. You are just so tired of constant fights.

"Yes. Sounds great."

"What kind of education would..."

"It's late. I'm not in the mood to talk about education or plan the next two decades." You scoff.

"Sorry. I get it. It's just that I want it to go as smoothly as possible."

He dares to get closer, his warm body embracing yours as you welcome him with your hands caressing his skin blindly. As much as you wish to keep on despising him, this hateful flame got severely weakened at the sight of his multiple attempts to establish a peaceful relationship between you. Of course you have tried too but less.

"No." You say firmly as you rest your hands on his chest. "Stop it."

He freezes and rolls to the side, leaving you alone for now with a silence lasting for a dozen of seconds.

"I'm sorry."

He's weak. He has turned so week now, why couldn't you get married to a stupid egoistic caricatural man, a greedy one that would leave you alone instead of trying to make you feel like you are still a part of his House ? Better know you are here to be used and not to be loved instead of stagnating in this equation that can't be answered.

"Do you love me ?"

Your question gets all his attention. When he sits up the sheets move, and the sound of his palm rubbing his face up and down several times makes you miss those simpler days.

"I do." He says.

"Say the truth."

"Despite what I've done I am not a liar on this kind of things. I love you, I do. I don't know how to show it but it doesn't stop me from trying to express it. And you ? Do you love me ?"

"I do."

A groan escapes your lips as the lights get turned on, your eyes blinking in an irritated reflex as you sit up. It takes you time to acclimate to the sudden brightness. His greying hair is as messy as the way you let it earlier, his plump lips pouting in the middle of his beard. The brown eyes you love so much to drown into are staring. Your nudity doesn't entice him. After so many years spent at focusing on his priorities he is not easily distracted.

"You don't ask me much if I'm ready or not to get touched." You mumble.

"Once you say you love it when I touch your belly without asking, then another time I should not do that, then it's right again, then you complain when I don't do it. Same when I try to take your hand in public. Sometimes you just look at me like you are going to murder me for no reason. I'm lost when it comes to you."

"Betrayal is not something easy to erase from one's memory you know."

"I know how that feels." He says between his clenched teeth.

You look away, ready to argue back before jolting in surprise at the sudden kick coming from the inside of your belly. After ignoring his question you look down at the small bump appearing next to your fingers. This time you cry for good. You can't handle all of that plus your child making his presence known for the first time without involving a medical visit.

"It hurts." You sob as you wait for the next punch. "It's so beautiful he's there."

"What ? You're going to give birth," he asks with a worried voice, "do you feel it already ?"

"No I feel him or her whatever, he punches me like I needed that."

Maybe you like Leto's presence after all as he sits by your side and touches the spots moving under the baby's gestures. If his smile is genuine so are your tears melting joy and mental breakdown.

"I want to sleep tonight I'm so tired." You whine before pressing against Leto's chest. "I love him but I don't want to get kicked from the inside all night I don't like it."

"Is it that horrible ?"

He shuts his mouth at the death glare you send him, and rather than making things worse you tolerate the way he has to "play" with the areas kicked. Is it a foot or a hand that just showed ? You don't know and you don't really care to know. Now your sobs are getting worse, and mostly because you are getting emotional.

"I thought I had lost everything but here you are responding to our child," you sob loudly as Leto tries to embrace you, "why can't I even react normally ?"

"You're normal honey don't worry. You are getting tired, it must hurt. Do you want me to call the doctor ?"

"I need to take a shower and dress first." You mumble.

You got told that having the baby kicking was a matter of days but you never imagined something like this. At least maybe this will be enough to make your relationship easier.

- - -

Thank you for reading please comment and reblog if you liked it ! 😊

@salome-c @stevenngrant @lavenderluna10 @one-hell-of-a-disappointment @dailyreverie @thecursivej @lady-targaryen @general-latino @harrys-tittie @laura-naruto-fan1998 @later-gators12

[skyland2703]

What Javelia fics do you recommend? A variety of wholesome and naughty 😉

Now this is a topic I have ✨expertise✨ in. But sure as heck I’m gonna include ANGST, FLOOF, SMUT AND a shit ton of hurt/comfort!!

Do I start this list with my own fic? Heck yes because this one’s literally an epic; angst filled, fluffy, and whatnot~

One of the best series I’ve seen with them, is a “all the hints Dino Fury dropped about Javelia” sort of thing,

And my personal favorite from this series is Fever Dreamers but I’d 100% recommend checking out the entire series.

Another one that absolutely owns my heart is this

Do I like sickfics? Yes. And here’s some of the best best BEST:

Somewhat twin to this, though much darker, by the same author, we have the 'High Ground' situation, just as heartwrenching </3333 (the hurt/comfort is HUGE here!!!)

Another couple of twin fics that do not pop up in the Javi/Amelia Tag because they’re in the Javi & Amelia tag, but I think fit the bill here are these: I ADORE these two fics, the littlest details just tug at the heart strings 💖

This one’s a canon fix it AND I LOVE IT TO DEATH AAAAAIIIIIII

Wattpad is Notorious for having bad FanFiction, but there’s a good collection of Javelia on there, and this would be my #1 pick if you had to go on there. Still incomplete, but aiiiiiiiiii Q_Q

They have SO MUCH hurt/comfort fics it’s making me go :3 here’s another one that’s set in cosmic + SOULMATE AU

And tumblr won't let me add proper links anymore, so here we have these PURE FLOOF fics, fluff fluffy floofy floof:

Night Go Slow enjoying the breeze Blanket Nights The Squishmallows (Plushie fic) Black Ink//Pink Sheets (Love Letters) Shut Down the City Lights What Am I, If Not Yours? (Wedding Fic) JavElia's One Shots (Oneshots collection :3 FLOOFIEST SHEET)

And some more hurt/comfort ANGST

A Toxic Relationship Is Never A Good Relationship Dwelling In My Past  Truth Behind the Lies Afterlife  draggle tailed guttersnipes Can't Promise Not to Cry I Need You to Stay  Silent Broken Hearts  And what do you make of THAT 

And smut, lastly, smut, smut, smut

a rolling stone gathers no moss  there's gold in the water see if we can hold on a little longer  And this series with hhhhh 8-9 more smut fics???? Aaaiiiii pick yours~

Final observation: I am not capable of giving an unbiased opinion—they have. way. wayyyy too much Hurt/Comfort fics Q_Q I LOVE MY BABIES I LOVE HOW MUCH EVERYONE LOVES BREAKING THEM DOWN SO THEY CAN PICK EACH OTHER UUUPPPPPPP—

[piease-iove-me]

can u answer all of them????

omg! i wasn't expecting this but happily! thank you!!!

When did you start writing? How?

. mmm i think it was about 2018? around that time i started trying my hand with writing small drabbles for this au on here

2. Has your writing changed over time?

. it has!!! incredibly so! especially lately since i've started writing for the tw fandom. though i still have a long way to go TT

3. Do you read your own fics?

. mmmm depends? i mostly do to see what's going on and if it's making any sense. rarely just for the sake of it

4. Do you write every day? If so, do you have daily goals?

. i have taken a break from writing regularly the past couple months. but before that? especially since i was in this twt fix exchange, i wrote a minimum of 2/3k words per day, 5k on my free days TT i kind of miss those times.

5. Do you plan? Or do you “wing it”?

. winging it gives me incredible amounts of anxiety. so yeah. i totally plan plan plan until i can find no hole anymore. chances are there will be some anyway but at least i can fool myself

6. If you plan, what does your planning process look like?

. mostly i go with an idea, that's often just a scene or short dialogue and then i try see how everyone got to that place. and from there i fill in all the holes that inevitable form. i don't stop planning/start writing until all my own nagging questions are answered. if i end up stuck, i drop the idea :') i'm kind of a perfectionist so... couldn't do otherwise TT

7. How would you describe your writing style?

. oh uh... idk??????

8. Have any comments/tags/responses on a fic of yours ever made you laugh, cry or both?

. mmm laugh yes, quite some, actually. and i'm so thankful for them? funny comments are just such a balm to the soul sometimes

9. Have you ever made yourself laugh with something you’ve written?

. omg yes TT but i can have quite some very dark humor so i'm not gonna expose myself and say what did the trick TT

10. How many unfinished works are in your drafts?

oh good god. i know for sure it must be about 30, afraid to check the actual number though TT and that would be without counting the scribbled away ideas i have collected in my notes (20 last i checked) and docs TT

11. Do you write for yourself, or for the readers?

. thankfully, i started to mostly write for myself. or rather, i write what i want and hope people will like it, but either way i know my story won't be molded by others' likings and wants. so that's a good enough compromise/achievement imo

12. Do you feel pressured to write some days?

. i used to. especially when writing for my previous fandom cause of all the pressure to update. but now? here? not really, it'a all so chill and nice i can take it slow

13. Multichapter fics or one shots?

. admitting most of my works start as one shots, i can't do one shots. once i go past the 20k mark ik i'm screwed. but! sometimes i make them 30k-isk one shots and say fuck it overwhelming lengths :')

14. Do you take requests?

. would love to! but anxiety and low self-esteem don't really work in my favour here

15. Angst or fluff?

. angst! tho i'm never sure how much of what i write actually is angst? let's say it feels more something like hurt/comfort

[flockrest]

     "Why can't I go?"

     It's the wrong question to ask. Kido knows it even before Auntie Cecili sighs. He winces as she turns to him from where she's remaking one of the down beds, 'cause now he's gonna have to sit through the same sort of lecture he gets hit with every time the grownups bring him back from Hebra's mountains or Tabantha's tundras.

     He's right.

     "You can't go because we can't trust you not to throw yourself back out there," Auntie Cecili says, quiet and deliberate, but not gentle. Like she's reminding him of something for the hundredth time and trying to be real patient about it. "You can't keep doing this, Kido. How many times has it been?"

     He doesn't know. He hasn't bothered to keep count when none of his attempts have gotten anywhere. "I just wanna go home." He fixes his gaze on the wooden beam behind her, a little over her shoulder. It's a deeper brown beneath the light of lanterns. "I promise I won't leave."

     Auntie Cecili sighs again, heavier. She makes a slicing motion through the air with her wing, the one she gives Uncle Verla when she wants him to stop talking, before she returns to her bed-making. "You're staying here. You're not changing anybody's mind on this."

     Kido looks down at the blanket draped over his legs, at the wingtips clenched and hidden in its folds. It stings more than all the aching in his muscles. More than it should.

     "You can't keep me here," he tells her, voice barely louder than a whisper. It rushes outta him like a nasty secret, harsh and annoyed, and he almost doesn't want her to hear him.

     She does, though. "I can, actually."

     "No you can't."

     "Yes, I can."

     "Nu-uh."

     "Don't push it—"

     "You can't!" He lifts his head, eyes blazing. "You're not— you're not—"

     "You're not leaving," she cuts in, not even glancing back at him as she moves onto the next bed, "until I say you can."

     Oh, so pretty much never! Yay. "When's that?"

     "Not now."

     "When?"

     "Kido."

     He doesn't screech 'cause he knows better, knows it won't do him any favours when he's stuck here, but the sound lurches in his throat: dense and thickened with want. He sits there for a few seconds just to breathe through everything, and swallows it down with a practiced ease. He tries a different path. "I can't even go play?"

     Auntie Cecili pauses. "You can," she carefully says, "but the other children aren't awake now, are they? And Fyson should be free tomorrow, I'm sure he can watch over you then."

     Wh— really? Fyson's fun, but he's so old now he doesn't feel like a kid anymore, and he's not afraid to complain about exactly that sometimes when the grownups make him do stuff with Kido and the others. Besides, Kido hasn't needed any watching over in ages — not since he fledged. "M'not a hatchling."

     "You aren't," she agrees, lifting a blanket to flare it out. "Keep flying headfirst into danger like one, though, and you have to prepare to be treated like you are."

     That—! "That's not fair!"

     "You think so?" Auntie Cecili asks in low tones. She sounds like rumbling thunder on the horizon — and that isn't fair, either. It's not fair how she can make him feel tiny with just her voice. It's not fair that he suddenly feels like the worst kid in the world for talking back. "If it keeps you here where you're supposed to be, safe and sound, then I'm sorry, Kido; you'll have to get used to us being unfair."

     He falls silent.

     Here? Where he's supposed to be?

     The boiling beneath his feathers nearly has him tossing himself out of his roost purely on principle.

     Each single time he leaves these peaks for the colder Windlines of the outside, Kido's doing what she and all the other adults aren't doing — what they should be doing. He's— it's their job, it's their responsibility as flocklings to never, ever leave anyone behind, and he's getting in trouble for doing it for them. Why's that? Why's that? If they're not gonna search for Dad for him, why do they get to say anything about it? Why do they get to stop him?

     Why do they get to try to make him give up, the way they did winters ago?

     "My dad's still out there," Kido whispers, wings squeezing his blanket so hard that they're quivering.

     Auntie Cecili stiffens.

     "He's still out there, and I'm— here. You're keeping me here."

     Why? Why had they— what suddenly made it okay, all that time ago, for them to give up? To strand his dad to the ice, to let him go: drifting further and further away from Kido?

     "You're keeping me here."

     He was— he was a good boy about it. He's being a good boy about it, 'cause searching for his dad is lots better than what he could be doing, what he could be feeling about everything and everyone. And they won't allow him this. Why won't they allow him this? Why?

     "He needs my help out there and you're just—!"

     All of a sudden, there's a warmth surrounding him, wrapping him up in white-maroon wings. The bed dips at his side beneath Auntie Cecili's weight, the tang of old fabrics and crushed herbs wafting along his next breaths. His heartbeat rings in his head. When did she get so close?

     She murmurs, gentle now, soft and strained like her heart's hurting too: "I'm sorry."

     Kido feels it like stones dropping out the bottom of his chest into his stomach.

     There it is again. Sorry. Like it's some amazing word that magically makes everything better. And maybe it does for Auntie Cecili — maybe it does for every other grownup who says it to him, who've only ever heard pretty things from Kido in response. Who've only ever gotten his encouragement, his reassurance, his permission to stop feeling so bad. It's okay. You'll find him next time. I'm not mad. You can talk about this. It's alright. You don't need to say sorry. I'm not upset.

     I forgive you.

     And now, here, he has to do it once more.

     He—

     He...

     Kido lets her push his face into the crook of her shoulder. He does not lift his wings to clutch at hers. He clings to the blanket under his touch with a wobbly desperation, to the silence that tumbles over them like clumps of snow shaken loose from tree branches.

     He can't. Not this time.

[piscean-pissbowl]

some odd weeks ago I saw a dream that I still think of. it was of a scenario where I'd reunited with a childhood friend with whom I had an intensely psychologically damaging friendship before I cut them off. I dream about them every now and then it's never very pleasant, but this one dream left an impression.

I can't remember the exact conversation, but we discussed our resentments without holding back.

I felt the need to apologize but my apology devolved into some flavour of groveling and, needless to say, my apology was completely rejected. astutely, this friend pointed out that none of my apology is genuine and that this is just one of my manipulation methods. that it's no use deprecating myself and fawning in hopes of a sliver of an edge on a person I still actively despise.

I was left bawling and I woke up utterly humiliated, pathetic. but it sure made me think.

if I were to meet that person... would I be able to stand my own ground as a person and be honest? would I even have the clarity to know in the moment whether I'm being honest to myself about how I really feel?

see, I don't think I would. my urge to keel over and show my belly in hopes of maybe being able to one day bite off the neck of my aggressor. it's too strong. it's a combination of people-pleasing and the virulent resentment I'm capable of.

I don't think I want to apologize. so, I shouldn't act like I do.

I actually don't see why I should even want to apologize.

all of my childhood taught me to lie, yet, by my neurological makeup I'm a person who absolutely hates lies.

so, I won't apologize, anymore. not until I truly see that there's something to apologize for. not to gain favour in order to appease my own anxieties.

hell, maybe I on some level know which things I did wrong and probably should apologize for, but I still don't want to. and my apology is nothing, if I can't do it out of my own genuine volition. and I can't.

maybe some day, some time there'll be a situation where I'll apologize because I sincerely want to do so without expecting anything back. but so far, regrettably, apologizing has been a means to an end.

I hate it, I resent the figures of my life for teaching me so, and I resent myself for not 'fixing' it sooner.

but at the very least these days I'm aware of it. I can try another approach to regaining that sense of safety and control, instead of these largely unnecessary and deeply embarrassing tricks.

Or I could accept that there's no such thing as control to 'reclaim' in this.

[streetlight11]

We Were Wrong

Summary: What one favour was thought to be harmless with no growing feelings involved, turns out to take a whole new turn during the process

Theme: college au, childhood frenemies to lovers

Genre: angst (not really), slowburn, romance, slightly suggestive, fluff

Warnings: mild language, light mentions of sexual activities

Pairing: Seo Changbin x Fem!Reader

WC: 10.1K

a/n: Hello! I'm back... Though I won't be posting weekly anymore, I will be going back to posting my works as often as I can! Here's a cute little fic with our dwaekki <3 Enjoy :)

It was a bright Tuesday afternoon. You were having lunch with your friends at the cafeteria where Sojung was just complaining to you girls about her horrible blind date last weekend. “Can you believe he didn’t know how to eat me out right? I had to guide him and teach him how to do it, it’s horrendous!” You stifled a laugh as Lisa and Eunbi didn’t bother to hide their laughter. “He needs to get lessons from Changbin. That guy is a fucking pro.” Sojung continued, to which you immediately scowled upon hearing that name.

Changbin or as you’re more familiar with, Seo Changbin, is actually your childhood neighbour and also enemy. You grew up hating that boy’s guts. He was a loudmouth in preschool that just annoys the shit out of you. He can be very obnoxious to the point where you can’t stand his presence. It only worsens when you go to high school. It’s like he was your shadow that couldn’t seem to leave you in peace.

“Why is everyone saying that? He’s such a jerk who thinks he’s so good at everything.” You scoffed while stabbing the chicken meat in your plate, only for Lisa to smirk.

“That’s because he is good at everything, especially eating a girl out.”

“Disgusting.” You said as you took a rough bite of the chicken. Just then as if on cue, Eunbi’s eyes traveled past your head and soon smirked before announcing his arrival.

“Speaking of which, here comes the prince charmings of Hankuk U.” She said, nodding her head at where she was staring. Curiously, you turned your head only to find that everyone else had done the same. The girls in every table began to whisper and squeak when the guys glanced their way and gave them flirty gestures. 

The reason why they’re popular is because of two reasons. The 8 of them were a part of the school’s soccer team and they were famously known for their frequent yet amazing one night stands. People claimed that they were heavenly in bed and all of them were excellent when it comes to satisfying a girl’s needs. Almost every girl on campus has definitely experienced it with at least one of them once. The reason why I said almost every girl is because you’re probably the only one who hasn’t gone there.

Not that you plan to any time soon anyway. You would rather stay away from them, especially your childhood enemy. For some reason, your gaze was fixed on Changbin as you watched him strut down the cafeteria with his hands tucked into his pants pockets.

He was wearing a black ripped jeans, a light grey long sleeved shirt which wraps snugly around his thick arms like a hug, along with a pair of black combat boots. His hair was dyed black with a few strands of green highlights. You also noticed he has an undercut that peeks under the styled up bangs to show part of his forehead while his hair flops down his face with a volume. 

Would you say he grew up well? Sure.

Does this mean you don’t hate him anymore? Fuck no.

Would you put your hatred aside to see if what everyone said about him was true? Of course not.

Right when you were about to turn away, Changbin’s eyes flickered over to your table, that’s when his gaze met yours. He walked past your table without breaking eye contact even after he was a few feet ahead. He had his head slightly turned before he finally breaks away and focuses his attention to what’s in front of him. 

A few minutes later, you were just listening to Eunbi rant about her controlling parents when your curious eyes began to wander around the room. You weren’t really looking for anyone in particular despite looking like you were. It wasn’t until you spotted Changbin a few tables diagonally down from yours with his back towards you but his head was turned around and his eyes were on you.

How long has he been staring at you?

You shifted in your seat as you diverted your eyes to your plate briefly before looking back at Eunbi who was seated opposite you. 

A few seconds later, your eyes flicked back past her head only to be met with the back of his head. A small sigh of relief left your lips before focusing back on your friends. After you were done with your lunch, you girls got up to leave. You forced yourself not to look over at his table despite feeling a pair of eyes burning a hole into your skull. You were halfway down the hall when a heavy arm slings over your shoulder. 

“Hey princess, mind if you walk with me for a bit?” Changbin asked you directly, not sparing a glance to your friends.

“Why?” You frowned, glaring at him in the process.

“For old time sake, how about that?”

“Mmm, no thanks.” You said as you pushed his arm down your shoulder. Changbin lets out a soft chuckle before he comes back to your side only this time, holding his gaze with your friends.

“I’m sure you ladies wouldn’t mind if I steal her for a bit, hmm?”

You expected them to reject him and say you needed to head to class soon. You weren’t ready to hear them easily let him steal you away as if class wasn’t gonna start in 10 minutes time. With that being said, Changbin gives them a flirtatious wink before he slides an arm around your waist and begins to tug you down the opposite hallway. After you were quite far from your friends, that’s when you pushed him away and frowned at him.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked in annoyance, only for him to smirk at you calmly.

“Relax, you fool. I just wanted to get some time alone with you.”

“Why?”

“Because I missed you.” He sounded very genuine but you knew this was just an act.

“Bullshit. You have no reason to miss me when you literally fuck different girls every night.” You said as you were about to walk away when he grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“Okay fine, that’s not why I pulled you aside for…” Changbin sighed as you stared at him quietly with a prominent frown on your face. You waited for him to continue, feeling him let go of your wrist while he did so. “I actually need you to do me a favour.” You raised your eyebrow at him tauntingly.

“I’m listening…”

Changbin scoffed but then continued.

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend for 2 months.”

“2 months?! What is this? The Bachelor?” You asked in shock after hearing his proposal.

“Look! I know it sounds like a lot but I just need you to be my fake girlfriend for 2 months and then we can go back to hating each other.”

“Why must it be 2 months? What shit did you get into this time?” You asked slightly impatiently this time, feeling like your brain might combust. 

“My mom wants to matchmake me with this rich girl but I don’t like her. She made a deal with me that if I can’t find a girlfriend in two months, she’s going to matchmake me with that rich girl.”

“And so you’re asking the girl who is the least of your favourites, to pretend to be your girlfriend? The irony.” You scoffed, looking away from him for a brief second before he clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“Can you please just help me out over here?”

“Why me? Why not ask the girls you’ve slept with. I’m sure they’ll do an excellent job in being your girlfriend for two long months.”

“They’re nothing but strangers to me. I know nothing about them. Besides, the girl my mom wants to matchmake me with is also the same girl who spilled that chocolate milk onto your skirt in high school.”

“Kang Leena?!”

“Bingo. So are you gonna help me or not?”

“That depends. What do I get out of this?”

Changbin seemed to think hard for a few seconds before he spoke up a suggestion that you couldn’t seem to avoid, “After all of this ends, I promise to leave you alone for good.”

“Sounds about right.” You said, making him roll his eyes at you despite his lips tugging up into a smile.

Looks like you would be starting this operation in a week’s time. 

Changbin and you exchanged contacts so that you can communicate with each other on days where the other is busy with personal stuff. That night, you were just watching a tv series on netflix in your living room when your phone dinged a few times with a message. You reached over to take your phone off the table only to find three messages from Changbin.

Changbin: let’s set down some rules for this fake relationship

Changbin: you list out 5 do’s

Changbin: I’ll list out 5 don’ts

You: sure captain 🙄

Changbin: Co-Captain actually 😉

You: whatever

Changbin: hurry up and give me 5 do’s 

You: can you give me a minute?! Jeez…

You: okay, 5 do’s; Go on dates every week so we’ll get comfortable with each other. Hold hands or hug in public, be it in school or outside. Be nice to each other for the sake of this fake relationship. Be comfortable doing all these things mentioned with the other so that your parents will believe our act. And lastly, try not to kill each other during these 2 months

Changbin: go ahead and write a whole essay will you

You: shut up before i slap on some super glue to your lips

Changbin: you can’t even get me if you tried

You: try me

Changbin: 😒

Changbin: ANYWHO

Changbin: 5 don’ts; NO hooking up with outsiders during these 2 months. NO texting or calling for at least half of the week. NO discussing this fake relationship agenda to either of our friends. NO dishonesty during these 2 months. And last but not least, NO kissing on the lips (anywhere on the face except lips)

You: i’m pretty sure that first no is solely meant for you

Changbin: please, you’re just being modest

Changbin: i’ve heard stories about you going on a few horrible dates 😏

You: how would you know? You don’t even have a civilized conversation with me

Changbin: i have my sources sweetheart 😘

You: God you’re annoying

Changbin: thank you, and i intend on being the most annoying fake boyfriend you’ve ever had

You: fuck off

Changbin: too late princess 😆

You: i hate you

You: when does this stupid thing start?

Changbin: should we start this weekend with our first date?

You: sure, i’m free for the weekend anyway

Changbin: of course you are… okay, I'll pick you up at 4?

You: yeah whatever

Changbin: please wear appropriately for the date, i don’t want to look like i’m bringing around a homeless mother of 3

You: says the one who looks like they only have child sized clothes on for their overly grown sized body

Changbin: are you saying i’m muscular? 😏

You: fuck no

Changbin: rude… but i’ll give you that

You: are we done? Cause i wanna go back to my movie

Changbin: what are you watching? Can i join? 😏

You: BYE

You locked your phone and soon tossed it to the side, letting out a soft scoff before you turned your attention back to your tv screen despite hearing a soft ding sound coming from your phone. A few minutes later, you checked your phone to see what it was, only to smile when you saw the text he sent you.

Changbin: haha. Thanks for agreeing to help me with this. I really appreciate it 😊

Maybe this won’t be a horrible 2 months after all.

Weekend was finally here, you remembered Changbin saying he’ll pick you up at 4. You had already given him your apartment address a few days ago so he didn’t text you the entire day. Not that you cared, your fake relationship deal wouldn’t officially start after the date anyway. Now the problem is, you were struggling with what to wear. He didn’t specify what you were doing today so it was a little difficult for you to decide on your outfit. So you chose to text him to clear your questions.

You: Seo Changbin

Changbin: yes, my love?

Your heart skipped a beat. Wait, what…

You: where are we going later?

Changbin: it’s a surprise 

You: 😒 is it skirt/dress friendly?

Changbin: it is but I think it’s best if you wore jeans

You: okay

Changbin: see you :)

A small part of you weren’t used to seeing this side of him but you didn’t mind it. If you were going to see his nicer side for 2 months straight, you’d be down for it. So with that being said, you managed to find an outfit for your ‘first date’. You opted to go for light washed denim skinny jeans, a white tank top, a lilac cardigan and your favourite pair of white sneakers. Your hair down in a center parting as it flows down in pretty beach waves. You wore your daily light makeup but nothing too extravagant since you weren’t that kind of girl.

After you were done, you stared at yourself in the mirror to give yourself one more look to make sure everything was okay. Besides, this was all fake anyway so surely he wouldn’t care if you didn’t look anywhere close to as pretty as the other girls he’s dated or hooked up with before.

You were just replying to the girls in your group chat when there was a knock at your front door. You left your bedroom to go greet who was at your doorstep. Without checking the peephole, you pulled your door open only to find Changbin standing there leaning against your door frame. He was wearing a black skinny jeans with a navy green button up sweater and a pair of white sneakers.

“Hey fake girlfriend, ready for our first date?” Changbin said, making you roll your eyes at him as you pushed him by the chest gently.

“Please don’t call me that. Another thing to add to our list of don’ts…”

“So can I call you baby?”

You gave him a look after locking your door before you started to walk down the corridor with him.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I don’t want you to.”

“Why?” He asked as he pressed the lift button and soon turned to you with a pout.

“Call me by my name, you imbecile.” 

“But I wanna call you baby.”

You found yourself groaning in annoyance softly before you spoke up to give in to him, “Fine, but not in school.”

“Okay!” Changbin grinned as he let out a soft giggle. 

A few minutes later, you were staring out his car window when you realized he was bringing you to the open ice rink. You panicked as you whipped your head towards him only to squeak, “You’re taking me to go ice skating?!”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t skate!”

“I can. So it’s fine.”

“That won’t help. You’ll probably just leave me struggling like a baby giraffe trying to walk.”

“Hey, I can be nice when I want to. You’ve just always seen my mean side all the time.” Changbin shrugged his shoulders, making you scoff. He soon pulled into the parking lot outside the ice skating rink. You both left the vehicle and began to make your way to the entrance. He walked beside you but never touched you. Upon arriving at the counter where there was a line of people waiting to rent their skating boots, you joined the queue with him beside you. 

The wait was quite fast as you managed to rent out your boots and made your way into the rink. After you’ve secured the shoelaces, you watched him stand from his seat, noticing how you were still seated down.

“Come on baby girl, we don’t have all day.” Changbin said as he grabbed your hand and tugged you up. Right off the bat, you almost lost your balance and you weren’t even on the ice yet.

Changbin catches your waist while you clinged onto his biceps. A soft whine left your lips, earning a loud cackle from him. Slapping his chest for revenge, Changbin hissed but that smile never left his face. “Come on Y/N, we have to start moving.”

“I’m scared I’ll fall down! I can’t even stand properly on a dry surface!”

“Just hold my hand, you’ll be fine.” Changbin said as he began to gently drag you towards the ice rink. Once he entered the rink on both feet, you were still at the edge of the gate, feeling envious of how he glided through the ice in perfect figure 8’s. Just then, he appears in front of you with both hands outstretched to you. He told you to hold onto him but you stubbornly shook your head. Changbin snarled at you, making you growl. 

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

“Not right now. No.”

“Y/N…”

“Fine!” You said as you went to grab his hands while he gently guided you forward, letting you step into the rink one leg at a time. Once you finally stepped into the rink, Changbin began to skate backwards while still holding your hands. You spent the first 30 minutes just trying to get your feet coordination right, scolding him every once in a while if he tries to be funny. You were just skating on your own when a sudden crash behind you made your heart stop while your feet skidded slightly to keep your balance. A scream left your lips as you then felt warm hands on your waist followed by a familiar voice in your ear.

“Look at you, skating well on your own.”

“In case you forgot, you were the one who left me alone.”

“But you still made it halfway around the rink, so you’re welcome.” Changbin smiled as he skated past your side to meet you face to face, only for you to narrow your eyes at him. All he did was laugh before he jokes around with you while skating backwards to make sure you didn’t fall.

After you were done with the one hour, you both left the rink to change back into your shoes. Changbin returns the boots to the counter before he rejoins you at the corner of the entrance. You were just scrolling through your instagram when you felt a pair of thick arms wrapping themselves around your waist. Changbin rests his chin on your shoulder only to hear him lightly giggle in your ear, “Where should we eat?” He asked, making you sigh. 

“I’m craving for sushi…” You said. Right after you say that, Changbin pulls away from you sharply to let out a loud excited yell that leaves people turning their heads to you. You spun around and shoved your palms onto his mouth with a disapproving frown on your face. 

“See, this is exactly why I don’t hang around with you. It’s because you’re so bloody loud!” You snickered at him, pushing his face back slightly before removing your hands from his mouth. Changbin’s face drops a little and you feel kinda bad. It looks like he was actually offended by your words. 

“Is that why you hate me?” His voice was so soft and gentle, you almost wanted to slap yourself for saying that to him.

“I…”

“It’s okay. I know I can be obnoxious most of the time. Even my friends say that.” He said as he began to walk towards the exit. You quickly joined him by his side, only to notice his shift in attitude. So with a gentle hand, you slipped your fingers into his right palm before you grabbed it. He stopped walking and turned around to you with a small frown on his face.

“I’m sorry… for what I said.”

“It’s okay. We should get going.” Changbin smiled but you could tell it wasn’t a genuine one. You let go of his hand and soon made your way back to his car.

It’s been an hour since you arrived at the sushi place. Both of you ate in partial silence, engaging in a few short conversations along the way but it wasn’t flowing. You felt bad ever since what happened at the skating rink earlier. Even though he told you it was fine, a small part of you felt guilty for treating him like that. After he paid for the food, he told you he would send you home and so you quietly nodded. 

He didn’t walk you to your door but you totally don’t blame him. Once you’ve said goodnight to him, you left his car quietly. Not even 5 seconds later, he was already pulling out of the side and driving off into the distance.

You’re officially a horrible person.

It’s been two weeks since your first date and things have been slightly changing between you and him in school. You were no longer on each other’s tails consistently. Although Changbin seemed to have forgiven you for what you said that day, it was quite obvious that your mutual hatred for each other was still there. It was a Friday late afternoon and you had a netball tournament that day. You had just finished your afternoon classes and were currently rushing over to the other side of campus where the indoor sports hall is located. 

You were running late due to your lecturer being a bitch and letting you off late even when you told her you had a tournament half an hour earlier. Upon arriving at the hall, you were quite surprised to see that the bleachers were almost full. You rushed over to where your teammates were, only to see Changbin seated amongst the crowd on the second row of bleachers.

His lips curved into a lopsided smile as you briefly looked away from him to join your friends. You put down your bag and took out your attire to change into. After you were done, you came back out of the changing room only to jump back when you saw a familiar figure leaning against the wall seemingly waiting for you.

“Why are you here? Is everything okay?” You asked softly in confusion, earning a shake of his head before he pushed himself off the wall.

“I just wanted to wish you good luck.” Changbin said.

You nodded subtly and was about to walk off but he gently grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“That’s it? No thank you kiss?”

“You’re so irritable.” You sighed as you leaned in to give him a kiss to his cheek softly and said, “Thanks for your good luck wish. See you at the bleachers.” You then jogged back out to prepare for the game, missing the way Changbin had a smile stuck to his face even after he joined his friends back at the bleachers. A few minutes passed, you were leading the scores by 5 points for this first game.

You tried your best to guide your teammates on where to go, earning a few points along the way. The first game went well as you won with a hefty 18-9 points.

It was currently break time so you took this time to hydrate yourself and do a few rounds of practice. You drowned yourself in water when Eunseo asked you if you wanted to do some practice throws with her. You were just practicing your straight toss with Eunseo when Changbin spoke up from the first row bleachers to step on your tail.

“Come on Y/N… Is that all the power you have?” His lips curled into a horrible smirk that leaves you huffing. You caught the ball from Eunseo only to call him out with your finger.

“Wanna see what I can do?”

Changbin pushed the tip of his tongue against his inner cheek before he stood up and walked over to stand beside Eunseo. He never even spared a glance to her nor did he flirt with her for he only had eyes for you. He gestured for you to throw it to him with his outstretched arms. With one strong pull, you threw the ball to him in a straight throw. The ball flew across at a powerful speed that made him stumble back a step with a loud huff leaving his lips, not to mention the loud thud when he caught the ball in his hands. 

You raised your eyebrow at him tauntingly, earning a light smirk from him, “Not that weak, huh Changbin?” You asked as he tossed the ball back to you but with less power. 

“Fine, guess I was wrong then.” Changbin said with a shrug of his shoulders, making you scoff. A few minutes later, the third game started and your rival team was quite a strong one. Except, they had a lot of foul plays. You were about to catch the ball that Yeri passed to you when your opponent forcefully crashed into your side as she elbowed you in the face.

You fell harshly, slamming your shoulder onto the ground, a sharp pain struck your left shoulder and also your nose as you began to feel something wet flow down your cupid’s bow. Because the game was still going, no one properly came to check on you except for Minju who was near you. You sat up while gripping onto your shoulder only to hear someone direct her words to you.

“Watch out captain. I’ll make sure you get benched after this.” It was the girl who pushed you. With that being said, you growled as you stood up, wiping your nose with the back of your hand, ready to pounce at the bitch but Minju stopped you.

“Y/N you can’t, you’ll get disqualified.” Minju said and despite knowing she was right, you were too pissed to keep that in mind.

So you simply told her to continue playing while you went off to the side to fix your shoulder and nose bleed. You clutched onto your shoulder while you stayed by the side to watch your teammates. Just when you saw Yeji catch the ball, you yelled at her saying you’re open. She passed the ball to you fast but what happened next was in a split second. Right when you had the ball make contact with your hands, a firm shove to your side made you lose the ball yet again.

This time, you collapsed on your knees while your hands flew out to stop you from hitting face first. This made your already injured shoulder to dislocate. A loud scream left your lips as the referee penalized the girl from the other team for causing an injury.

You laid on the ground back flat as your arm was in a weird position. Next thing you knew, Changbin came forward to join where Yeji, Minju, Sana and Eunseo were crowding around you.

“Go get me an ice pack.” Changbin ordered one of the girls as Yeji immediately got up. Changbin came to kneel behind your head where you were laying down, only for him to stare at your dislocated shoulder.

He gently felt the bump to see how he should pop it back. That’s when Yeji came back and soon Chan joined your side.

“Remember what our coach told us?” Chan asked.

“Yeah. I need to push it down but this is gonna fucking hurt.” Changbin said as he looked at you with a frown.

“Just do it already!”

“I’m kinda warning you, dumbass.” Changbin said nonchalantly as he soon told you to hold onto something. He grabbed the parts he needed to hold in order to pop your shoulder back into place. With one quick push, your shoulder popped back into its socket, earning another scream from you.

It was even more painful now then when it dislocated. Nevertheless, Yeji quickly pressed the ice pack onto your shoulder to soothe the stinging pain. Your breath got heavy as you closed your eyes in relief.

All the while, Changbin’s hands never really left your shoulder even while you heard him just telling your teammates on how to aid your shoulder. When you opened your eyes, Changbin had just finished instructing the girls as he glanced down at you. His eyes held the galaxy even when his face was upside down from your point of view.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Better… Thanks.”

Changbin nodded as he soon got up but before he did, he slid his hand up your neck only to caress your cheek with his thumb subtly. You sighed, allowing your members to help you sit up. You managed to get out of the court to sit on the bench. Despite not being able to take part in the next games, your team ended up winning the tournament.

After the tournament ended, you were all just listening to your coach giving some advice and wise words while you noticed the crowd began to disperse. You sat on the bench with an ice pack pressed against your shoulder with the help of bandages wrapped around your shoulder and under arm. When you girls were finally dismissed, Yeji and Minju came to ask if you needed a ride home.

You hissed upon moving your shoulder slightly, feeling like it was about to break again but someone’s voice answered for you.

“I can take her home.” Changbin said, making you glance to the side and see him walking over with his hands tucked into his jeans.

Your friends knew about your mutual hatred for Changbin which is why they looked at you skeptically and asked if you were sure about letting him drive you home. When you gave them a nod, they simply told you to take care before they began to go separate ways with you. Meanwhile, Changbin helps you with your bag, asking you to not move your shoulder as much. 

Changbin joins you by your side, sliding an arm around your waist as you turn to him with a frown.

“You do realise I can walk just fine right?”

“I know but can’t I just hold you while we walk?” His question made you pause, staring at him softly before deciding on your answer.

“Y-Yeah… Sorry…”

Changbin chuckled lightly, continuing to walk by your side. Once you safely made it inside his vehicle, he jogged over to the driver seat and was soon on his way. The ride back to your apartment seemed faster than usual but you were actually glad he was here with you. He offered to walk you to your door so ultimately, you invited him in.

It didn’t escalate to anything serious, it was just him chilling with you for a bit and helping you out with some things before he headed home. 

Looks like things are going pretty well between you and him, you just hope it stays this way.

The next morning, you woke up to a stinging pain in your shoulder. You must’ve slept wrong during the night because it fucking hurts like shit. And the first thing that came to mind when you were in a shit ton of pain, was to call the one person that you could think of the minute you wake up. The call got answered after the second ring which made you barely wait.

“Hello?” His raspy morning voice immediately soothes your cries despite the stinging pain in your shoulder. 

“C-Changbin…”

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” There was a rustle in the background as his voice instantly grew alert.

“M-My shoulder… It hurts…” Your voice became a soft whine, knowing your cries were definitely heard by him. 

“Okay, wait there. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Don’t move okay, I’ll be right there.”

Changbin ends the call without saying goodbye but you couldn’t care anyway. You were curled up on the bed, feeling like your muscles were tearing and your bones were cracking. You quietly screamed into your mattress, gripping tightly onto your shoulder as if it would do anything to soothe the pain. Just as you were crying and whining softly in your bed, the sound of heavy footsteps began to scurry down the hall and soon enough, your bedroom door burst open.

The next thing you know, Changbin hops onto your mattress to crawl over to the other side and soon pulls your upper body up gently. He handled your shoulder with the utmost care, making sure your head was buried in his chest while he began to softly massage your shoulder. You hissed and screamed a few times whenever the pain was unbearable.

“I know, I know baby, it’s painful but it’ll go away soon, I promise.” Changbin said as you cried further into his chest. Your free hand grips onto his bicep nearest to you, squeezing it every time the pain gets too much to handle.

After a few more minutes of massaging your shoulder, the pain indeed began to subside and the sting was no longer spine crawling. Your tears had stopped flowing, your breathing got much calmer now but you still had your hand resting around his bicep. It was so quiet in the room that the only thing you could hear was the sound of your stifles. Just then, Changbin uses his hand which you had hold of his bicep, only to gently tuck your hair behind your ear and move it down to caress your cheek with his thumb.

“Does it still hurt?” He asked, to which you shook your head. His other arm was resting around your back to support you but his hand was on your rib, holding you securely in his arm. You snuggled deeper into his chest, loving the warmth he gave you.

Changbin decided to scoot you back a little along with himself, until he felt his back leaning against your stack of pillows. He gently adjusts you so that you are now sitting comfortably between his legs. 

You were laying on your side so your injured shoulder was facing outwards while your head and other arm rested against his chest. Changbin had one arm around your waist while the other hand decided to play with your hair. He soon slides his hand down your arm, cupping your elbow gently while he looks down at you. From his point of view, he could only see a small section of your face but he saw your eyes still open. He smiled as he leaned down to place a very soft kiss to the top of your head. You felt this but you chose not to acknowledge it. 

Just then, his free hand reaches up to glide his finger along your cheek before it tucks beneath your chin and carefully tilts your head up. Once you were facing him, you locked eyes with him shyly and he could tell. 

Changbin’s smile never left his face even after he cups your cheek fully in his palm. He leans down to let his lips hover right above yours. You could already feel the feathery touch of his lips brushing against yours before your fake relationship rules suddenly flashed into your mind. With that being said, you turned your face further into his hand right on time, earning a small frown from him.

“W-We can’t… It’s the rule…” You whispered with a heavy heart yet he agreed with you.

“Right… Right, sorry…” He replied in defeat before he told you to sleep a while more. He ended up taking care of you, staying at home with you the entire day. 

Maybe this was just out of pure courtesy. Maybe this was just for the act. And maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t an act and that whatever he did was genuinely honest.

It’s already been 2 months since your first ‘date’ and nobody still has any clue about your secret. You had one more date left before his family gathering the following day. Both of you managed to control your urge to act on your feelings because you forced yourself to think about all the mean things he’s ever said or done to you but all that goes down the drain every time you hang out with him. It doesn’t help with your growing feelings for him either. 

It was a Saturday late evening. You and Changbin planned to go to the bowling alley for your last activity of the day since that was the only activity you haven’t done yet during your weeks of dates. You arrived at the bowling alley only to find that it wasn’t as packed as you thought it would be. 

He rented a lane for you along with your bowling shoes. Both of you made your way to the very end of the room where your lane is with you carrying the shoes and him carrying the bowling balls. He told you to start first so you did. When you accidentally threw your ball into the gutter, Changbin couldn’t help but laugh at your failure.

“Seriously? You’re a Netball captain and yet this is the best you can do for bowling?” He teased you, making you scoff.

“Oh yeah? We’ll see about that.” You said smugly before taking the bowling ball and soon aimed it properly. You threw it with as much power you could muster, watching it roll down the lane in a perfect line. The minute it hit every one of the bowling pins and formed a strike, you turned around to raise your eyebrow at him tauntingly.

“What were you saying?” You asked, only to see him smirk. He pokes his inner cheek with his tongue, feeling competitive all of a sudden.

“Very well. May the best person win.” 

Minutes ticked by without you realizing, the game was about to end with you leading ahead by just 6 points. Things were starting to get intense as you were on your final throw now. This last throw will determine who wins.

With very careful aim and a precise throw, you watched as the bowl swirls down the lane in an awful curve. You panicked as the ball began to swerve to the right near where the gutter was. However, right before it reaches the pins, the ball swirls back in only to hit every single one of the pins, earning a strike for you. Which means, you won the game. You squealed as you bounced around excitedly.

Upon turning around where you thought you would find him being all salty and sulking in the corner, Changbin walked up to you with his arms wide open so you threw yourself on him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his arms hug your waist perfectly to allow his hands to rest on either side of your ribcage. 

He spins you around before putting you back down. When you pulled away with a giggle, Changbin’s eyes naturally flew down to your lips as his smile only got wider. Your heart was stammering in his chest as you slid your hands forward to cup his neck. 

After what felt like forever, Changbin’s eyes flicked back up to meet yours before he nudged your nose with his, scrunching his nose cutely. 

“Shall we go?” He asked, to which you simply nodded at him. 

Both of you returned the items back to the vendor, making sure you left no belongings behind. You were just walking towards the lift lobby when Changbin’s fingers easily slipped down your inner forearms, down your wrist only to then lace his fingers with yours swiftly. You chuckled softly knowing he was probably loving this.

“How long did you wait for this?” You asked with a teasing smile on your face.

“Since our date today started.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle as you both entered the lift together. You stood side by side in the lift, allowing the quietness to surround you. Just then, you felt him squeeze your hand softly to gain your attention and it did. You glanced over to him, not surprised to find him already staring at you softly.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” He asked as he leaned against the lift wall.

“I think I am but are you? Besides, you’re the main character tomorrow, not me.”

“As long as you’re with me, I think I’ll be fine.” His words were so reassuring, you found your heart melting a bit. Upon seeing your gaze drop, Changbin tucks a finger under your chin only to tilt your head up.

“Everything will be fine. I promise.” He said with a smile, making you nod softly to say you trust him. He slides his hand over to cup your jaw but the sweet moment got cut short when a group of rowdy teenage guys entered the lift at level 5. They filled almost the entire lift that you literally buried yourself in Changbin’s chest for comfort.

Changbin notices the way those guys were sneaking glances over to you and how some of them were openly checking you out. While he was busy glaring at them, you too noticed the attention you had on you, not to mention the whispers you heard from beside you.

“How did he land such a hot girlfriend like her? He’s literally so short.” 

You needed to do something. You need to remind them that you’re not interested in them. With that being said, you glanced back to Changbin, using your free hand to gently grab his chin between your thumb and index finger. You turned his head to make him look at you as you purposely pushed your body against him. Changbin panicked for a second when he felt you pressed against his front but he soon recovered and played along with you.

“Baby, can we go home? I want you so bad…”

“Mmm, be patient baby girl. Or do you want to be punished?”

“I want you to tie me up and make me scream your name.”

“Such a naughty girl for me, huh?” Changbin smirks as he begins to kiss your exposed neck, leaving soft whines out of your lips. 

Changbin’s free hand slides over your waist, only to grab hold one of your clothed ass cheeks. Your breath hitched in your throat as he brought that hand back up to rest on your lower back. The minute the lift doors opened, the guys left without a single glance spared to you and Changbin.

He pulls away from you, immediately apologizing for grabbing you inappropriately like that. As much as you knew that was wrong, somehow, you liked it.

You liked it very much.

Both of you soon abandoned whatever happened in that lift, making your way back to your apartment as he told you he would walk you to your door. Once you were standing right in front of it, you turned to him to say your goodbyes even though you were suddenly dreading it. He was still holding your hand, his thumb softly caressing the back of your hand comfortingly. 

“I um… I had a good time today. I hope you did too.” Changbin began first.

“I did. Thank you… for everything these past two months.” You said, despite your voice almost faltering near the end. Changbin noticed this but he chose not to embarrass you by acknowledging it. 

“I guess this is goodnight then? I’ll see you tomorrow at 3?”

“Mhm! Goodnight Bin…” You whispered as he frowned a little when he saw tears starting to pool in your eyes. Next thing he knew, you quickly leaned in to kiss him on the cheek and soon unlocked your door. The minute you were in the comforts of your house, you instantly slid down to the ground with your back against the door. You quietly cried, not wanting him to hear you.

The past two months have been a roller coaster ride. Neither of you had any expectations of getting anything out of this. He solely needed you to fake date him for a few weeks so that when he finally had to face his parents who wanted him to marry a rich girl, he would have a valid reason to stop the arranged marriage seemingly because you two were ‘in love’. Nobody told him that he would actually fall in love with the one girl, he would never in a million years guess. His heart was yearning for you and he would do anything to have you back.

But he made a deal with you. That if this goes exactly the way they planned, he will promise to leave her alone for good. No matter how hurt and broken he would be.

Today is the day where you would have to face his family. You had to show off your fake girlfriend attitude to show that you were in love with their son and that they cannot arrange a marriage for their son. The only problem was, you don’t feel like a fake girlfriend anymore. You don’t think you can pretend like you’re in love with their son simply because you already are in love with their son.

So while you gave yourself one last look in the mirror, you had to force your tears away so as to not ruin your makeup. You wore a beautiful baby blue dress that flows down to stop at your mid calves. This was something you’ve never worn before but for this special occasion, you wanted to put a good first impression on his family. 

Which is why when you heard the knock on your door, your heart started to race in your chest. You let out a shaky sigh before telling yourself you can do this. With your purse in one hand and your heels in the other, you left your bedroom only to head straight to the front door. 

You pulled the door open, ready to greet the person standing outside but instead, your voice got stuck in your throat. 

Changbin was looking as handsome as ever in that black smart pants with a white button up shirt tucked in, a black leather vest and a tie hanging loosely around his neck. His hair was parted near the center as his bangs flops down with a volume so that it doesn't rest flat on his forehead.

He scanned your outfit from head to toe just like you did before he commented first.

“I… Wow… You look… really pretty.” He said under his breath, making you do the same for him. You let out a giggle to lighten the mood as he allowed you to lock the door and soon walked down the corridor with his hand in yours. 

“Why didn’t you wear this for our dates? I don’t think I’ve seen you wear a dress in all the years we’ve known each other.”

“I only wear dresses on special occasions… Today is one of them.” You smiled, making him mimic your facial expression. 

The ride to his parent’s home took about 1 and a half hours but never once was it boring or awkward. Changbin made jokes, you talked about random topics, you had a mini carpool session, literally no awkward silence moments were present during the journey and for that, you were thankful. 

When you finally arrived at his old house, he parked the car and soon left the car with you. His house was fairly huge, knowing he comes from a wealthy background. Right before you reached the front door, Changbin felt you hold back so he turned to you. He reassured you and his words brought you a different kind of comfort, one that only he knows how to do.

Immediately, you were met with his parents, his older sister, and a couple you’ve never seen before. The only person you recognized besides Changbin’s family, was none other than Kang Leena herself. 

The look on her face clearly shows that she had no idea you would be here let alone with Changbin.

“Hi mom, dad, noona. I hope I’m not late. I actually wanted to introduce you all to my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N.” Changbin announced as his sister’s eyes grew wide as her frowning lips soon turned into a bright smile. 

“Y/N?! You’re dating my brother?! I’m so happy for you two!” His sister said, making you giggle. 

Just then, his mom’s face dropped but she greeted you nonetheless. The first few minutes at dinner seemed a little tense between Changbin, his mother and Leena but you were quick to save the dinner by making light conversations and jokes with them. After dinner, all of you gathered at the living area where you sat next to Changbin and Chaerin. You were just listening to Chaerin telling you about how much she missed you when Leena’s mother spoke up.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but I think we should really get on with the purpose of why we’re here.” You turned to look at Changbin’s parents who seemed to be in a dilemma. 

“I’m sorry if we had wasted your time, but I will not be marrying your daughter.” Changbin said firmly as you simply stared at him while he spoke. 

“Excuse me? My daughter can give you anything you want. She is definitely way better than your girlfriend here. She probably can’t even do anything for you. We can give you and your family all the luxury you want. What do you say?”

“You want me to ditch my girlfriend for your wealth? I think you have the wrong guy. I don’t want your money.”

“What do you want then son? We can give you anything you need. You name it.” Leena’s father said. Just then, Changbin’s mother stood up to speak her ground firmly. 

“We thought our son wouldn’t find the right girl to settle down with… and that he would just keep messing around. Looks like I was wrong. In fact, he looks really happy with his life right now and if it’s because of this girl, then we’ll gladly welcome her.”

Leena scowled as she glared at you but you didn’t care.

“You’re making a big mistake Changbin.” 

She said, only for Changbin to smirk, tilting his head to the side softly before he raised his eyebrow tauntingly to ask, “Am I though?” She let out a groan of frustration before she stormed off, her parents following behind closely. After they left, Changbin’s parents apologized to you only for you to brush them off saying it wasn’t a big issue. You stayed behind for a few more minutes before Changbin offered to send you home. 

The ride home was a little more quiet compared to on your way there. However, one thing that’s prominent was how he reached over to lace his fingers with yours, keeping his hand on top of your lap. You told yourself not to fall asleep but you did anyway. 

When he finally arrived at your apartment building, you were already heavily knocked out so he carried you up to your unit level.

He unlocked your door for you, carrying you to your bedroom. After he had taken off your heels for you, he tucked you into bed, making sure not to change you out of your clothes simply to respect your privacy. His heart swelled when he felt you gently grip onto his hand as if not to let him go. Changbin’s heart broke into a million pieces. 

He already loves you. 

You won his heart.

And yet, the cruel reality just decides to end things for you two. So with one heavy heart, Changbin leans down to give you a very soft and chaste kiss to your lips. It almost felt like he was kissing nothing before he whispered his last words to you.

“I hope you know that I love you.” 

With that, he left.

The next morning, you woke up slightly drowsy probably from the lack of sleep you’ve been having recently due to your pending assignments. You groaned as you stretched your limbs out. You realized you were in your apartment which means he must’ve carried you all the way up here. This thought made you smile as you turned to get out of bed but the note sitting on your bedside table didn’t go unnoticed. So you took it and saw in curved letters written on the front page, was your name.

The contents of it however, did not do a good job to prepare you for what’s to come.

~Dear Y/N,

If you read this in the morning, you probably would’ve known that our ‘fake relationship’ agenda ends here. I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to help me out with this. I know it might’ve sounded ridiculous the first day I told you but hey, we made it. Haha. Remember our do’s and don’ts we listed out? I think we actually nailed it, don't you think? You have no idea how many times I wanted to break that last don’t.

Anywho, I’m pretty sure you remembered our deal before we started this whole thing… That if we managed to convince my parents to not go ahead with the arranged marriage for me and Leena, that I will leave you alone for good. Looks like your wish is coming true. I’m glad we met years ago. I’m glad you came into my life. And I’m glad that you chose to be my partner in crime for this.

I wish you a happy and peaceful life from today on. May you find the right one for you who would treat you with so much love because you deserve it. Truly.

Take care Y/N :) See you around~

At the end of this entire letter, you were now a crying mess. Your heart was shattered. You couldn't stop the tears from falling. You missed him. You wanted to tell him that you loved him. To tell him that he is everything you wanted. To tell him how much he changed your feelings for him during the last 2 months. You can’t let him leave just like this. 

No way.

So when you arrived in school, you desperately hoped to bump into him somewhere since you two didn’t share your classes together. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be seen. Even his usual group of friends didn’t show up in the cafeteria or in any parts of the school. You were just walking to class with your eyes scanning the entire campus when you heard a group of girls in that table beside you talking about a soccer match this evening. With that being said, you turned to Sojung, Lisa and Eunbi only to ask, “Is the soccer tournament today?”

“Yes! It starts at 6pm later at our stadium! Are you coming?” Sojung asked, to which you nodded with a small smile.

If you couldn’t find him on campus, you were pretty sure you’d find him on the field.

Hours later, you were now seated in the middle row of the concrete bleachers of the school’s stadium. There were too many people in the crowd but they weren’t the ones you care about. The one you cared about was nowhere to be seen. The game was about to start and the crowd was beginning to cheer loudly for the school team players. You watched as they announced the opposing school team, earning cheers from the supporters for their campus.

A few seconds later, they announced your school team players and as expected, the crowd grew wild. You watched as the boys began to flood in pairs. They had their jerseys on which means you could see their names on it. Just when you thought he decided to go MIA, a familiar back came jogging in last as his name was seen in bold letters at the back of his shirt.

CHANGBIN ‘08’

You kept your eyes locked on him the entire time even on the field, witnessing how good of a striker he was. During their half time, you saw the way Changbin took a huge gulp of his water but soon his eyes began to scan the crowd as though searching for someone. Of course it would be impossible for him to spot you amongst the crowd when you literally look like a bunch of ants from his point of view.

After another round of matches, your school team came out as the winner for this tournament with a hefty score of 12-6.

You smiled upon seeing them do a group hug on the field. They were celebrating their victory and so was everyone else in the crowd. Just when you saw Changbin’s head turn to look directly in your view, you glanced down. Sojung noticed this so she asked, “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah…” You smiled as you tried so hard not to cry.

She knew something was wrong so she turned back to the field only to see Changbin’s gaze focused completely in your direction. He had a deep frown on his face and that’s when Sojung knew, there was something going on between the two of you.

With that being said, she suggests that you go to the washroom. The only washroom that was the nearest would be the ones at the ground level of the stadium and you had to walk towards them before entering the tunnel. Your mind was too fuzzy to think so you blankly agreed to it. You made your way down the steps, eyes naturally fleeing up but it was a mistake. The minute you did, that’s when you locked eyes with Changbin who was crossing the running tracks and was slowly getting nearer towards the bench.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched him look down to continue walking but his frown did not go unnoticed. You made it to ground level as the girls around you began to squeal and wave obnoxiously to get the boys’ attention. Meanwhile, Changbin had made it to the bench where he was just wiping his sweat with his small towel and taking a sip of his bottled water when his gaze landed on you.

He wanted nothing more but to go over there and hug you. All he could think of last night was you. But he already gave you that note. He can’t take his words back now. So with a frown, he turned around to let his back face you. Changbin already threw the ball to you. The ball was now in your court. What would you do? Many questions flooded your mind but it all came down to one answer.

Get him back.

With that in mind, you decided to make a detour. Instead of turning right to head into the tunnel, you continued walking straight. The whispers around you got louder and louder, that it didn’t seem to go unnoticed by the boys. Because the minute you were just a few metres behind Changbin, Hyunjin turned to see you coming so he quickly slapped Changbin’s thigh and nodded his head to you with a smile.

Changbin turned around to face you fully as he stared at you softly but you could tell he was broken inside.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked as you stopped a few inches away from him.

“Remember the last don’t?” He stayed quiet but he nodded, watching as you took a step closer.

“When was the first time you wanted to break that rule?”

“The morning after when you called me because you were in pain.”

“It’s over now, isn’t it? So go ahead.” You whispered as you were now standing just a fist length apart from him. Changbin naturally slides his hands around your waist while you rest your hands on his cheeks. His lips tug into a smile before he finally leans in and the minute your lips touched, you heard a mixture of responses from the crowd but the more prominent one was the cheers.

He hugged you against him while you cupped his soft cheeks in your hands. Changbin pulls away for a quick breath only to kiss you again deeper, feeling him lick your bottom lip. You smiled into his mouth, pulling away to let your noses touch and your lips hover over each other. You weren’t sure when to say it but he decided to say it first.

“I love you.”

You fluttered your eyes open only to see him already staring down at your swollen lips through his lashes. You smiled as you kissed him sweetly before pulling away again to finally say your three words.

“I love you too.”

[yandereloversblog]

𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖!𝕄𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕘𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝔾𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣 -> 𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝔸𝕝𝕡𝕙𝕒𝕓𝕖𝕥

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

>Fandom: Five Nights At Freddy's: Security Breach

>Character: Montgomery Gator

>Warnings: Mentions of violence. Abduction. Murder. Unhealthy obsession. Detailed description of said unhealthy obsession. Stalking. Delusional behaviour. Sentient robot. Emotional manipulation. Toxic mindset.

>Type of content: Basic Information? Character introduction? I don't fucking know anymore XD

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

•Ah yes, the man, the myth, the legend himself... The crocodile that made the internet horny again. I just have one question? Why...? I mean I know why because me too but still. Also from the gentle giant to this feral man, what a big jump XD

•It does not matter whether you view them as their robot version or as humanoid animatronic. And reminded this is MY personal depiction of this character with my own opinions so please don't get mad-

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

A= Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

: ̗̀➛ *Bites*... Literally. That's how Monty shows love and affection, it's not even meant to be sexual in any way, he just likes softly biting you at random times. Not only is it a clear way to show that you're marked but also it's easy and he likes seeing you squirm around when he suddenly grabs you. If you actually had him be patient enough to where you officially date him just expect to be picked up a lot, feel like Monty would like carrying you around even if you're perfectly fine.

B= Blood: If they’re extreme how messy are they willing to get?

: ̗̀➛ He's MESSY messy- have you seen his room? They just stopped fixing it because he messed it up so many times because he easily destroyed it, if Monty has his hands on a person that tried speaking to you for too long he'll tear them to shreds and leave body parts all around for whoever finds it to pick and clean up.

C= Cope: Do they try to deal with this jealousy sooner so they don’t lash out?

: ̗̀➛ If jealous hits he'll act on it immediatly in the worst way possible. Finds his darling talking to someone he doesn't like? Immediatly grabs you and move to another location so the two of you can be alone. If you try to stop him he'll start an intense argument with whoever was trying to make a move on you and immediatly try to kill them and not care of who's around.

D= Death: Do they feel any sorrow for their victims at all?

: ̗̀➛ No?? Why would he? They were just some annoying pests anyway, it was their fault for getting in his way.

E= Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their s/o?

: ̗̀➛ Monty isn't good at all with his emotions and they cause him to lash out when it's too strong, if you're kidnapped the time with him will be really rough unless you start to understand where he's coming from and sort of tame him in a way, he'll become much more patient and sweet to his darling but only if they agree to be with him

F= Fight: How would they feel if you fought back against them?

: ̗̀➛ Probably annoyed, how could you not just give in to him? He's amazing! Not to mention how Monty is a lot bigger and stronger than his darling and easily able to do anything. Although sometimes he does love bantering with you, he's real easy to please with praises but those won't do you any good in escaping or lowering his guard

G= Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

: ̗̀➛ Monty loves the chase. Literally. Sometimes he'll purposely play little games where he gives you a certain time to escape out of the Pizzaplex while he chases you. These games are usually always on his favour and it'll turn into punishment if you actually escape by yourself and not when he let's you.

H= Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

: ̗̀➛ Remember how I said he bites? He probably would bite chunks of meat off you and even your arms and legs might get broken to make sure you don't crawl or run away (when he doesn't want you to). This will also include some mental torture of you being all alone in the big Pizzaplex while Monty chases you while laughing, insulting and making promises to never let you leave.

I= Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

: ̗̀➛ He doesn't know how or think of the long time plan but he would love to be wirh you forever. Monty would love if you stayed at the Pizzaplex forever and cheered him on during his performances and be his biggest fan. Maybe kids? He still doesn't know exactly about that.

J= Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

: ̗̀➛ Monty is one jealous and possessive fuck. Sees you give a little compliment to someone else? Depending on how you feel about them they'll either die, get heavily injured, avoid you or be scared of you for the rest of their life. Monty lashes out immediatly, maybe not when his darling is around but definitely when the person is left alone.

K= Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

: ̗̀➛ You can literally see his tail happily wagging when he's around you, he will start boasting and showing off, and he really likes it when you show affection to him in public. If he does something cool he'll immediatly look at you to see if you saw it, and if someone else speaks to you while you're there he'll start growling protectively to get them away.

L= Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

: ̗̀➛ He's going to show off any skill he has, about how strong he is, how much kids love him, how good he is at the guitar and golf, and other talents he might be programmed to have. Monty aims to impress you to the point you fall in love with him and if you don't even after all his attempts? Well... You're going to get kidnapped.

M= Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

: ̗̀➛ Monty can't act all that good. He's usually more tame and nicer to you, letting you touch him without getting your hand bitten or scratched, he's still rather violent but you won't ever be a victim of it (Not everytime anyways) but with everyone else? They're not going to approach 5 feet close to him unless they want a limb missing, especially if he's frustrated about you and his emotions are going haywire.

N= Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

: ̗̀➛ Physical violence. Probably some mental torture of you barely being able to run away while Monty catches you and drags you back to his room

O= Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

: ̗̀➛ When you're dating he'll get on your case about everything, he won't exactly blame you but he'll get jealous when you give your attention to something else while he's with you. And if you're kidnapped you're not allowed to do anything without him, even sleeping! Monty likes cuddling with you while you sleep

P= Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

: ̗̀➛ Not very much, he does enjoy your playful fightings but he won't stand for insults or you constantly asking to leave, if he runs out of patients your next chase would be very painful

Q= Quality: Would they to be secretive or be flashy about what they do?

: ̗̀➛ If you're dating, Monty will be so flashy about it he'll mention it every 20 minutes whether the conversation he was having with someone was about you or not or if it was a very serious matter. If he's kidnapped you against your will he would be acting like nothing happened, actually Monty would be offended when someone says how you must be very lost and devastated right now (He will fight that person)

R= Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their s/o? Would they ever let their darling go?

: ̗̀➛ Not at all. There would be a series of events that led Monty to that and in his case he finds it to himself it's completely justified and for your own good. Why wouldn't you want to hang out with him 24/7? And unless you count your little chasing game then no, he would never let you go.

S= Stalker: Would they stalk their darling? How intense would it go?

: ̗̀➛ He would try stalking you but he doesn't know how. You usually catch him from how big he is and he can be extra sloppy when it comes to it. Monty does love having you within his sight so you'll probably catch him "stalking" you a lot of times. It's not that intense as it's from curiosity of the green alligator just wanting to see what you're doing all the time. He'd also rather talk and be with you than just watch you do stuff.

T= Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

: ̗̀➛ He does enjoy seeing his darling squirm around and try to fight him off, tears do make you look especially pretty! But he doesn't want that to happen when you're in too much pain, that's set for punishments that he usually doesn't enjoy giving. And god forbids you isolate yourself, you'll just get Monty even more fired up to make you his completely

U= Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

: ̗̀➛ Monty can be tamed from that ruthless and bloodthirsty beast to a... Possessive and clingy puppy? He would still throw hands on sight but if you're gentle and put up with him after a while you'll start to see results.

V= Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

: ̗̀➛ It should probably happen during those chase games. It is always set on Monty's favour but if you happen to kiss or do something to him that'll catch Monty off guard for the entire day he'll probably forget locking a few doors, forget to steal stuff that would probably help you escape and forget to close off some vents. You could make use of them on your next game.

W= Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

: ̗̀➛ Yes... Like not for fun or anything but he does like seeing you squirm around in slight pain. Good thing is he'll take the responsibility and patch up all your wounds so you don't bleed out. He likes tripping you while you run away and like I said, Monty just enjoys biting you in general.

X= Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their s/o over?

: ̗̀➛ Monty loves showing off his skills with the guitar and how much of a better partner he would be rather than literally anyone else. He would do anything in his power to get your attention and affection because Monty literally craves it so much he'd kill for it. He'll even take you to play golf and teach you because he's the best at it.

Y= Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

: ̗̀➛ Feel like Monty can get easily attached if you pay too much special attention to him so it would lead to him snapping soon but then again, if you don't pay that special attention to him, Monty will just take it as you ignoring him and get angry. So you either get the sweet obsessive snapping or the angry and abduction snapping.

Z= Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

: ̗̀➛ If you continue to resist and fight back nonstop it would probably happen within the first month, if maybe you let the resistance go for a certain period of time it'll take longer. Monty would prefer to have you be full of energy and actually able to have a conversation with him rather than you just being a lifeless doll.

[squidgames1mp]

Hello author! I really like your work, and if you’re comfortable with writing this request, i would greatly appreciate it: Sae-Byeok’s first time meetings the readers ex? It could be when they’re both visiting their brothers, the readers’ ex spots the reader and walks up to them, and then it can go however way you want! Sorry if this is hard to understand, my grammar isn’t so good. I love your series, thank you!<3

oh my god thank you for your kind words, i am so glad that you are enjoying it!! also thank you for being the first to request something haha <3 hopefully this had satisfied what you have requested. i will add this to the list for the series as well!

You and Sae-byeok were in the middle of playing with your little brothers. You had recently bought a frisbee to play with the younger boys and so far you could tell that they both had enjoyed throwing it around the playground of the orphanage.

Cheol had passed the frisbee with as much strength as he could manage that it went passed you and your failed attempts at catching it did not help whatsoever, "Nice throw Cheol!" you called out before you ran over to pick it up.

Once you did so, your eyes landed onto a familiar girl in front of you. You heard your little brother screamed out this girl's name and ran towards her happily. This girl smiled at him and ran up to him and gave him a hug that you wouldn't admit you had never forgotten.

"What are you doing here?" you couldn't help but question her.

"Is wanting to visit my favourite ex not a good enough reason?" the other girl questioned back, "You've certainly had a glow up since I last saw you. What have you been up to lately?"

You looked over her shoulder to find your brother, Cheol, and Sae-byeok were walking over to the shade. You noticed that your girlfriend kept on subtly glancing over to you, "What do you really want? Once we broke up I thought we had agreed to not even look at each other anymore."

The girl started to play with her hair, a habit of hers that she began once she started to feel uncomfortable, "Yes I know, but once I found out I could not just allow you to not have a heads up and have it be a surprise."

"What are you saying?" you questioned.

You ex made nervous noises and glanced around her as to not have the desire to be heard by anyone, "Your father came to my parent's place asking if they knew where you were," she whispered.

The air in your lungs felt as though it left you, "Please tell me you're joking."

You felt arms embracing you into a hug, a technique you both had agreed to use in order to bring each other to reality back when you were dating, "I wish I was."

You felt the tears daring to come out of your cheek, but then you didn't want your girlfriend or anyone else to know what was going on, "I need to move, I need to move my brother and myself far away from here."

The other girl shook her head, "No you won't do that. My parents are more than willing to help you out.

"What about school? What about work?"

"We will help you with all of that. Just stay at home, make sure your brother stays inside. Lay low for at least a little while. You father may be fearless, but he trusts my parents. They have been friends for years and he is clueless about what they know of his treatment towards you. You're safe as long as we are around to protect you."

You pulled away from her embrace, your hair in front of your face but you were too upset to fix it, "I will buy you a mansion to return the favour."

The other girl took it upon herself to fix your hair little by little, "No need. Mother and father are very close to marrying me off to some spoilt rich boy. You can repay me by at least being there to suffer with me," she pretended to gag, "God those men disgust me."

You giggled at that last statement, "Thanks for telling me, I'll just tell my brother to stay inside for a while and I'll go home."

"You'll be alright," she grabbed one of your hands and then pecked your cheek, "If there is anything I know about you, it's that you can handle everything even if it hits you like a train. I'll see you later when the coast is clear."

You nodded towards her and watched her for a second or two as she walked away. You then made your way towards the young boys, who had seemed to be play a game of tag, "Hey little guy, I need you to go inside," you said as you approached him.

The game stopped, "Why?" he questioned.

"It is a little hard to explain, but you need to stay inside to be safe. I need to do the same, but it is more important that you do it," you said. Your little brother nodded, but you needed to make sure that he understood what you were saying. You took a light grip on both of his shoulders, "So this means no more going outside for as much as possible. I don't know how long this will be, but when I visit you next I will let you know."

"He's back isn't he?"

That question almost made you cry, the fact that he knew broke your heart, "Yes, he is back." You both hugged tightly and he ran inside, as if it was normal for him to do.

You gazed towards Sae-byeok and Cheol, who of course was confused. You walked towards Cheol and kneeled down to him, "Please take care of each other," you whispered.

Cheol turned to his sister, who nodded at him and Cheol ran inside as well, "What the fuck just happened?" she questioned.

At this point both of you were fast walking and you constantly looked at your surroundings, "My father is here. My ex told me that he was at her parent's house asking where I was. It's not safe for me to be out here for a while."

Sae-byeok only nodded and interlaced your hand to hers. The journey back home you were both silent. Once you got home you were pushed against the door before it could fully be shut. Sae-byeok's lips had sucked the air out of you and cupped your face, "Everything is going to be fine. I'll be there for you when you are ready to tell me more about your father," she said when she finally pulled away.

"You only kissed me because you got a little jealous," you teased.

Sae-byeok glared at you and kissed you with passion once more, "Just reminding you who you are with."

[iamacolor]

I actually think Siwoo's ex really loved Siwoo but she thought her husband was rich so got together with him and I love how he turned out for her and her husband this is karma for them. Kijun is the worst imo because he won't leave them alone while I still don't like her she's at least not stalking them and getting angry just because he lived with his ex like he's doing. One thing I don't like what the FL is doing is helping the ex if Siwoo and her situation was reversed you know she would

be angry and that would cause a breakup I do find it funny though that he can't do anything right no idea what she saw in him. Siwoo on the other hand is a genius that's amazing at the weather forecasting he can even make calculations in his head probably better than even computers meant to calculate the weather love me a genius ML that's so good to the FL. Oh yeah about the fight Kijun had lmao he was so bad at it I was like "you know Siwoo could of beat you up already if he wanted right?"

hi anon! i do think she was attracted by the fact that kijun looks richer (although given how he scammed hakyung and abrely put money into the partment i don't think he's really rich) and that he's more stable than siwoo (especially since siwoo's father takes his money regularly) but i think by the end of the relationship with siwoo she wasn't in love with him anymore, she didn't answer his text, didn't want to make plans with him, was cheating and she thought he was annoying for sending her pics of the sky...i think she kind of wanted and ideal life (especially because she's the youngest) and thought kijun would be better but as you say it's karma for them lol they both hurt people to be together and lied to each other and also clearly did not take enough time to think about what marriage actually means lol

and yeah i agree she mostly minds her own business and usually talks to siwoo only to make sure that her husband doesn't find out about her past and she doesn't want to keep in touch with him whereas kijun has no boundaries with hakyung and talks to her as if they were both responsible for their break up (the audacity), as if they were friends and he could still ask her favours etc and now he's also stalking her and siwoo like can't he go and fix his broken marriage instead! i think the latest episodes have really shown how dependant on hakyung he was even for his job and how she got used to helping him out out of love (which is why she couldn't say no at first but i think she's not going to do it again - she's clearly told him she doesn't want anything to do with him and talking with siwoo about his own insecurities means she's not going to do anything like this again or at least not without talking with siwoo first)

and honestly i agree, what did she see in him like??? i think it's a mix of him being a good actor when he needed something from her and knowing her well enough to just say the right thing and his his negative feelings and her looking for security and stability after being hurt by her father and so kind of ignoring the signs? they were together since college so they must've changed a lot together and she probably thought this is better than nothing, i can make it work but i'm glad breaking up with him and then being with siwoo makes her take care of herself better and see what she deserves! and also that he's so loving with her and affectionate, he makes sure she knows he likes her a lot and that's so sweet (especially because characters like him who are really good at something are often asshole to the FL in kdrama but not siwoo 🥰) and i hope they soon get her apartment just to themselves so they can be even sweeter with each other as much as they want!!

i think the funniest thing about the fight was when kijun attacked siwoo by throwing his jacket and this the sheets of paper at him like????

[80s-roger]

Not On My Watch (pt 7)

Pairing: Dad!Roger x Mum!Reader

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

catch up: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6

masterlist //dialogue prompts

taglist: @madeinheavxn @namelesslosers @stacymaytaylor @drwse @cherries-n-rocknroll

words: 3,336

warnings: some tense in the middle hehe and woman talk.

It was around seven in the morning. Your head was dizzying and took you ages to get out of bed after blaming the wine for the headache you're feeling now. Roger was a sleepy angel with his blonde messy hair and his back covering his bedside. You had to fix and prepare yourself for work. It's nice going to work from Tuesday to Friday but the work you put in within these eight hours as an accountant in the bank, is exhausting.

"Roger, I have to go..." you knell next to him, softly playing with his hair. His face was turned against yours, you could see him sleeping deeply. What a cutie he was.

"Mmm?" He asked on his sleep, without being aware of what you said.

"Babe?" You kissed his forehead. You haven't done that for ages. Your relationship starts involving again. After the short name you called him, he opened his eyes and seemed kinda lost.

"Wh- where are you going?" He asked again after stretching himself.

"I have to go to work..." you explained.

"I can drive you off." He offered himself.

"No, the public should not see us together, you know, the paps." You narrowed your brows. They always annoyed you.

"Yeah, that's right... I'll have to go to work in a couple of hours too. I'll call you from there. I think I have your office's phone number," he scratched his head and looked at you focused.

"I think you do, yeah. We'll see each other later?" You asked, wishing to be true.

"What a stupid question, of course." He smiled and came closer to you for a kiss. "Laura will be here when you arrive." He slightly squeezed your cheek.

"Nice." you stood on your feet again and attempted to walk away but his hand stopped you.

"Last night was amazing. So refreshing for us, right?" He stated, waiting for your approval.

"Couldn't agree more." You laughed.

"You look so freshly fucked by me, I can see that." He joked and a giggle escaped your mouth.

"Is that visible?" You asked, checking yourself at the mirror.

"Yes, you're happy." He wasnt laughing anymore, he was serious about it and with that, you turned to him smiling. It's true, you were feeling happy. You were happy everytime he gave you pleasure. You give him soul and body, he gives you pleasure and happiness after it. You wanted to feel like that. You needed it by him. You didn't say a word. Just a simple smile to him and it made his day and yours too.

Your work to bank was going to be productive but an unpleasant surprise sooner or later would ruin it all.

At your launch time, you walked with your colleague, Mary, at the bank's restroom, where you can calmly drink some coffee and chat.

"I tried to reach you last night but you wouldn't pick up." Mary started and sipped a little of her coffee. "I was thinking you'd come over at my place to drink some wine and listen to jazz." She added.

"I wasn't home actually and I don't think I'll be again." You nodded your head in refusal while the little spoon you used to mix sugar with coffee was thrown at the sink.

"Wait, you're moving out?" She asked confused.

"Basically I'm moving back to Roger's house. I was living there before the divorce." You answered.

"Holy s-" she was a little louder than she wanted to be but she already covered her mouth with her hand. You made her the shush gesture with your finger. "Holy shit!" She whispered close to you fully excited. "So you two are..." she winked.

"Yes, I think so." You smiled.

"I'm so happy about it, I mean you look happy too, I haven't seen you like this since..." she stopped. "Wait, I haven't seen you like that." She came a little closer to your face trying to check your eyes. "What happened last night, naughty girl?" She winked again and teased your arm. She was open about her relationships to you and so were you to her. She's probably the closest friend you have.

"Mary, that's personal!" You laughed trying to hide your excitement.

"It wasn't so personal to you telling me about R/N's poor sexual skills." She sarcastically raised her brow.

"Yes because he lacked on that, I wouldn't come if I didn't masturbate after-party, y' know?" You hinted and she totally understood. "I wanted to share this problem with you."

"Too pity, he only likes flexing around his cars but on sex, poor guy..." she started. "But you know, I never liked this man. How come you, Roger Taylor's ex-wife and current girlfriend date a man like R/N?" She reminded your standards and she was right. It was all about your image and your dignity.

"I guess I was too hurt by Roger, I couldn't see clearly. I always loved him." You stared at the floor and sipped from your cup.

"And you're back again which is perfect than before. I'm sure Laura will be happier." She smiled.

"She already is." You nodded and smiled back.

"Hey ladies, you have some work to do out there, what's taking you so long?" A colleague of yours, came in the room demanding you to get back to work.

"Sure, we're going back, sorry for that." Mary took the lead and left the room, now both of you went back at your posts.

At the studio

Roger was on studio with Brian and John, fixing their instruments before starting recording. Freddie was yet to be seen so John asked, knowing what was happening. "Everything alright?"

Roger finished fixing his drum kit and turned to John's side, "If you're talking about last night, you better be sure about it. What about Laura?" Roger asked.

"Vera drove them off to school earlier, she said she will pick them up. She'll be in our place." John replied.

"Oh nice then, sure, I'll pick her up, I'm thinking of a fancy dinner with Y/N and Laura at some restaurant." Roger was arranging a dinner with his beloved family, thinking something big.

"Oh, I'm curious to find out!" John smiled.

"Rog," Brian took part in the conversation, coming closer to his bandmates. "You should book a table if you're going to do what I'm thinking." He pressed his hand on Roger's shoulder.

"What do you think I'm going to do?" Roger asked confused.

"Sweet lord," John gasped. "Wait, you're not going to propose her again, right?"

"Why not?" Roger asked in disbelief.

"Roger, it didn't work all this time. Just because you spent two days together doesn't mean you'll be like that again." Brian was negative about Roger's thought.

"And why not? I changed my mind, I was immature, I know. But now I'm different." He tried to defend himself.

"Roger, she might feel pressed if you propose her again." John was trying to explain.

"No she won't, she won't see R/N again, I know it. She ran to me the moment he raised a hand on her." Roger protested.

"He what?" John was shocked. "Y/N would never let a man hit her, what are you talking about?" John couldn't believe his ears.

"Her cheeks were burning when she ran to me and-" Roger was feeling tense.

"Roger, you won't let him get away with it, will you?" Brian crossed his arms.

"What can I do? I am not the one who was assaulted." Roger loudly said, feeling ready to explode.

"Who was assaulted?" Freddie's voice echoed in the studio and his bandmates' gave him a death stare. "What? I'm not late." He arrogantly raised his brow and smoked a bit of his cigarette.

"We were having a conversation about Roger and Y/N." Brian made a briefing of the situation.

"Oh, I'm all ears, did you have sex?" He winked to Roger.

"Yes we did, but that's not the thing." He shook his head in total confusion.

"Alright, alright, what's the matter? I heard about someone getting assaulted?" Freddie asked concerned.

"Yes, Y/N was. He spied on her on Sunday night because she didn't want him to stay there." Roger started.

"Oh, you drove Laura off that night, didn't you? At her flat." Freddie asked, recalling the facts cause he was there that afternoon, at Roger's house.

"Correct. So, Laura kind of wanted me to stay and Y/N made her the favour, but I prepared our ground, I fixed a drink she was relaxed and we ended up making love." Roger felt like missing you right now.

"Oh, that's, that's good!" Brian commented.

"Yes, it is. And what happened next?" John asked, trying to learn all the details. They all wanted actually.

"Well yeah, the next day things were a little awkward between us but in the end it wasn't anymore. That asshole, went at her home, raised a hand on her and my girl ran to my place." Roger said.

"Who the fuck does he think he is?" Freddie gasped. He was nuts.

"She obviously ran to her shelter." John made a romantic comment

"She won't leave it unpunished, will she?" Freddie asked.

"I don't know." Roger thoughtfully said.

"Well, fucking call her," Freddie yelled.

"Stop yelling at me, okay? I'll do it." Roger yelled back and Brian with John shared a laugh.

Roger grabbed the phone and dialled your office's phone number. He was impatient to call you, but at least he had a reason to do it. You picked up from the other side, too busy from your work. "Hello?"

"Y/N?" Roger's voice was unsure and unsteady. He barely spoke to you on the phone. He would call at his early days while on tour.

"Roger? Hi!" You smiled after recognizing his voice. "Are you at the studio?" You stopped archiving loan papers and focused on him.

"Yes, Freddie just arrived." He tried to remain calm.

"Oh, tell the boys I said hi." You giggled.

"Of course." Roger cleared his voice before getting to the topic. "So um, about yesterday, when R/N appeared at your flat, will you sue him or something?" He asked fully concerned about your safety.

"How come asking me this?" You asked confused.

"I was talking to the boys about it, I needed some advice. Will you sue him?" He asked.

"I don't know, Roger. I don't think he'll appear again. Not after what happened. I guess he knows we are starting over." You explained.

"But what if he appears?" He asked.

"Don't panic me, please. I don't want to work in fear."  Now that Roger gave you a reason to be scared, it wouldn't leave your mind that R/N would come again to hurt you. He has shown some red flag signs at the time but you never really paid attention because they weren't a big deal.

"I just care about you, y/n. I want to feel sure that you're not getting hurt or approached by him." His voice lowered but his head was thinking many things.

"Nothing to worry about. I'm happy that you called." You changed the subject trying to talk about something else.

"Um, y/n?" He asked while playing with phone's wire.

"Yeah?" You playfully asked while opening clients' folders to verify their deposits.

"I was thinking if you'd like us to go for dinner tonight, as a family." He finally said kicking out his stress.

"That would be great!" Your eyes got wide opened. You liked the idea.

"Perfect. We'll talk about the details when we get home. I mean, at my place." He clarified.

"Sure. Do you think I should move out?" You asked.

"Yes, come where you were staying first. At my house. I'll help you with that." He offered his help which you couldn't deny.

"Nice then." You said. "Y/n, can you sign these client's papers, please?" A female voice was heard from the back.

"Should I hang up?" Roger asked.

"Yes, we'll talk later! Bye!" You were rushing to hang up.

"Love y-" you hung up and left Roger wondering if you heard his last words. "You." He ended it, being sure now that you didn't hear that. "How did it go?" Roger asked Fred.

"Better than I thought." Freddie giggled.

---------

Recordings today, finished earlier than expected, Queen brainstormed more than usual, making some good progress. They were free to go.

"Should we go to the pub downtown?" Brian asked.

"Sure, I haven't planned anything," Freddie answered and John nodded.

"Roger?" Brian turned to the drummer.

"Go and I'll catch up with you." He smiled and they all left the studio.

Roger was on his way to the bank you work. He parked at the opposite corner waiting for you to finish your work. He wanted you to join him and the rest members at the pub, like the old times. But an unpleasant surprise gave him all the negative vibes he had gathered for a long time. It was R/N who was suspiciously walking towards the bank. Roger knew something was wrong. He carefully checked the road before crossing it.

You were ready to leave, said bye to your colleagues and at the entrance door, the man you used to date for a short period of time stood at your sight.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" You asked trying to remain calm.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" He let out an evil smile. "I'm here to pay my fucking bills." He was ironic. He didn't mean it literally.

"We're over, R/N. Deal with it." You had to remain quiet and calm. You work there. Gazes started to turn to you two, making you feel embarrassed. You attempted to walk away but his hand stopped you. He was holding a newspaper photo; probably from The Sun, it was Roger and you in it. Oh shit, here we go again you thought. The press smelled gossip.

"You ran to your rock star husband? Wasn't I enough?" He shouted pointing out the photo. It was you and Roger five years ago, exiting a club in the city, but the title caught your attention: Roger Taylor and y/n  y/f/n spotted together after divorce!

"Stop shouting, I work here!" You warned him to stay quiet but he wouldn't. He was risking your job permanent position.

"You don't need to work when your rich husband can give you a luxurious life!" He mocked you and now he pointed to Roger, ready to read the article out loud. "Queen's drummer Roger Taylor was recently reported sharing a not-only-steamy kiss with his ex-wife but a steamy night at his place in West London" Clients and colleagues turned around and saw you standing there fully ashamed and embarrassed. Of course, they knew who you were married to. You really wanted to die. You couldn't handle the situation. "You want me to continue?" He asked with a smile on his face.

"Fuck off." You whispered close to his face and he seemed to enjoy it.

"I think I'm the one who should have said this." He raised his brow. This man is a pure toxic thing. "You take cocks like they're dinner or something, is that your talent?" His voice was louder than expected and all you could do was slap him. That sound was probably heard to the restroom inside. He was pushing the limits and your boss came out of his office, staring at you shocked.

"Mrs Taylor I think you should discuss your personal issues somewhere more private, don't you think?" His voice was strict and you thought that being fired is the most possible scenario.

"Yes, of course, have a nice evening." You tried to walk fastly out of the bank but a gentle hand stopped you. You looked who it was and it was Roger.

"She's not Mrs Taylor. Not yet." Roger defended your place, with R/N, your boss, your colleagues and the clients standing there with their mouths wide open. "Boss, how on earth do you let your employees be disrespected like that?" Roger came closer to him but you tried to stop him. "That asshole right there disrespected your employee and you did nothing!"

"Roger, please stop, I'll lose my job, fucking stop!" You tried to pull him back but he wouldn't do it. "Stop!" You yelled and then he stopped and looked at you.

"I'm trying to defend you." He whispered at your face, he noticed how upset you looked.

"Please. Everyone's looking at us. Let's get out of here." Your eyes begged him to leave as soon as possible.

"And what about this asshole?" Roger pointed out R/N.

"He can't do anything, let's go, please." You wrapped your hands around his arms, not letting go. You walked out of the bank and the man followed you. Oh, shit.

You were walking towards your cars, but R/N wouldn't leave like that, without provoking Roger. He would lose temper in any second.

"According to the musician's neighbours, the previous night was like some Queen concert. Really loud." He was reading out loud the article and Roger looked at him with his one and only death stare.

"Roger please, let's go, don't give him the satisfaction, he's trying to make you lose temper! Don't hit him!" You stopped him. Now people from the bank and pedestrians would whether at Roger and you or R/N.

"What would y/n 's  y/f/n  current partner say about today's hot issue? Can't wait to see more! This couple is so promising. Whether married or not, they never fail to excite us!" He laughed after reading the article. "They paid me thousands for this article. What do you think?" He asked.

"What?" You asked shocked.

"I'm a journalist, you knew that. But I'm also a jealous and a possessive mate, I don't like my partners to fuck around." He came closer to you. He was threatening. Roger would kill him at any second.

"But you hit me. You weren't violent, you despised that." You answered.

"I surely despise violence. But violence brings violence. You betrayed my trust." He yelled.

"That wasn't a reason to hit her!" Roger yelled back.

Paps noticed the drama and clicks were already heard. You were about to be on headlines tomorrow morning.

"But you fucked her! Aren't your groupies enough?" R/N shouted.

"Shut the fuck up! They're taking photos of us and they'll have us on headlines tomorrow, I don't want that!" You pushed him but he wasn't playing.

He was about to push you back but Roger protected you, standing in front of you and getting on hands with R/N.

Three policemen noticed the tense and ran through your place. "What's going on here?" One of them asked.

"He's a random man saying weird things, he won't let us leave!" Roger lied.

"He fucks my wife!" R/n lied back.

"What the hell, you're not my husband!" Your life was such a drama right now, you wanted to go home and hide under your pillows.

"Enough sir, we'll have to keep you at the police station today. You caused enough trouble today. Let the celebrity man with his wife go to the court." The policeman was aware of yours and Roger's status. Roger's fame probably saved your asses for now; Not including your boss firing you the next day, though.

"Um, are you alright?" You asked while hugging Roger.

"Yes. You?" He pulled away to check on you.

"Kinda..." you were feeling upset. You just had to play it cool.

"Listen, the boys are waiting for us at the pub we met, mind joining us?" He whispered at your ear, not wanting the paps to hear you.

"I think I'll need a drink to calm down." You nodded.

"Alright, get on your car and follow me, we'll have to get rid of everyone. They'll follow us." He kissed your lips and that was the second the clicks were heard the most.

Roger smiled at the cameras, acting as if nothing happened and finally drove off.

[themindsetsetter]

Problems for Attention?

Social media has changed the world, that is for sure. And it has also changed the world of personal coaching (or so it seems). One doesn't have to participate of course and I only want to express my observations as well as encourage everybody who wants to change and make progress to seek assistance in doing so.

What's Happening?

Having joined social media only recently as a personal coach to be "visible" online, I am really astonished of what's happening there.

The good thing is that there are a lot of groups on self-improvement, personal coaching, etc. People can feel free to admit that they are struggling with something. One isn't an outcast anymore when one has some "personal issues" and needs guidance.

But the strange thing is now (and again, that's just my observation) that people write long posts about their problem(s), they get a lot of different suggestions on what to do, but it seems to be only talking. And for some reason it's often the same problems with the same suggestions. But these things repeat themselves and I wonder "Do people actually read what is written?"

The Broken Car

What do you do when your car is broken? You can also go on social media and find a group that discusses car issues. You describe the problem - and often in a rather superficial way, because you don't really know anything about cars and what is what, but a professional might still have an idea what you are talking about. And now you get suggestions on how to fix the problem, but since you don't know anything about cars and don't have any tools you can't even do what is suggested. And now you sit there with a broken car, and you don't want to invest the money to get it fixed. But at least you got to talk about it on social media and perhaps you found some new online friends. Or you can spend the next months watching all kinds of videos on how to fix cars and buy or borrow some tools but you still can't fix the car.

And it's the same thing with personal issues. When asking for help on social media you will get advise from anyone, professional or not. And in the end it might be a bit of a challenge to fix yourself because you don't know how to do it and you don't have the right tools. And only talking about your problems online won't solve them.

Invest in Yourself

You are the most important person in your life and your most important investment. And there are professional coaches out there who got a proper coaching education (and not only from "the school of life") and they have the tools to assist someone who is willing to change. Just like a professional car mechanic they know how to do these things. And if you really want to change do yourself a favour and investin yourself and seek assistance from a professional.

There seem to be many people out there who need assistance, but either they don't want to invest in themselves or they just want to talk about their problems on social media (for attention?) I really wish people would seeks assistance and get rid of all their issues and live the life of their dreams. This way the world would be a better place right there.

It is a great thing that people are able to admit to personal issues and can openly talk about them nowadays. But if it stops there, nothing will change. Take the next step and get rid of them by seeking assistance.

If everybody was able to change by themselves, why isn't everybody living the life of their dreams? Some people read tons of books but still can't change. They don't know how to do the exercises or they still struggle with unconscious beliefs that are holding them back. And that's where the coach comes in. A professional coach only has to listen to you and ask certain questions to discover what is holding you back. So do yourself the favour and make things easy for yourself by seeking assistance. And seek assistance from someone good!

More Coaches Than Sand on the Beach

Finding a good coach can be the next challenge and on social media you find more coaches than you find sand on a beach. But trust your instinct and you will find the right one for you. Get in touch with a coach and after a first exchange you will be able to get a feeling for the person. And there are also so many different approaches to solving problems. Not every approach might be the right one for you. Try different things, have fun trying different things. You can also attend workshops and meet other people. Be open-minded, and willing to invest in yourself. It is the best investment you can do.

And talking about your problems won't solve them. Get into action and live the life of your dreams. 🌅🌸❤🙌🏼