#but im thinking it probs took place that 7 years before hand right?

[hosticaaa]

@hellshoard ❤️'d for a starter ! ( For Arabella maybe ? )

He  felt  the  collusion  with  something  ━  someone  had  walked  into  him  as  he  stood  here  fiddling  with  this  stupid  camera.  He  should  have  been  paying  attention,  but  alas,  he  was  too  focused  on  the  hunk  of  junk  Vaggie  had  given  him  and,  worse,  the  instructions  that  had  come  with  it.  Didn't  she  understand  he  was  the  RAIDO  DEMON ?  He  had  segments  planned  for  his  show !  Radio  advertising  was  his  specialty !  Was  she  really  going  to have him  SQUANDER  his  talents  like  this ? 

It  was  strange,  the  fact  that  the  bump  wasn't  followed  by  a  torrent  of  verbal  abuse,  giving  him  the  chance  to  speak  instead. ❝ My  apologies,  I  should  really  be  paying  more  attention  to  what  I  am  doing-- ❞  He  began,  head and neck twisting around in a very unnatural manner to lock eyes on his company. They then gleamed and widened  with  interest  and  the  realization  that  he  knew  this  demon  ━  well,  kind  of. 

 ❝ Oh,  it's  you !  I  remember  you ! ❞ He  announced  gleefully,  the  static  buzzing  the mirth in his  voice  to  life  as  he  straightened his posture and leaned  in  for  a  closer  look. ❝ You were at the  butcher  shop  on  Cess  Avenue,  yes ?  Forgive  me,  but  I  don't  believe  I  ever  got  your  name. ❞ That  likely  because  he  was  too  busy  eviscerating  and  eating  the  butcher. 

[keeperofssouls]

1, 7, 9, 13, 17, 19, 26, 29, 30, 31, 32, 36, 40, 41, 51, 52, 55, 56, 57, 59, 63, 81, 92, 104, 106, 119, 120, 121, 123, 153, 162, and 238 please baby :) also sorry it’s so long hehe

1- How are you? 

tired but happy to be with my girl and v in love hehehe 

7- Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:

aries and hmm idk some times i can totally see myself in my zodiac sign and other times i just like ~cant~ at all but at the end of the day i think im such an aries in so many ways haha

9- What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?

better mental health 

13- If you could change your eye color, would you?

prob would to blue

17- Say 8 facts about your body: 

idek what to do for this haha so: 5′ 4 1/2-3/4”, 8.5 shoe size, curly hair, dark brown eyes, brown hair, and enjoy two random facts about ur body because i cant think of anymore and im only at 6 haha 1. Babies are born with 300 bones – adults have 206. 2. You are taller in the morning than you are at night. hehehe

19- Do you have any piercings?

yes ma’am one per earlobe hehe

26- Something you are working on right now:

college apps *finger guns*

29- What would you say is your best quality?

probably that im v loving? idkkkk lol

30- What do you think you’re really good at?

turning you on giving hugs and listening hehe

31- What do you think you’re really bad at?

not procrastinating haha 

32- What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

teleportation count? hehe

36- Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?

nope

40- What do you think about the most?

you hehehe

41- Share 2 habits:

procrastinating and not drinking enough water lmao

51- Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?

cats maybe but not sure lol 

52- Ever broken any bones?

nope amazingly enough (have had ankle surgery tho woohoo hehe)

55- A random fact about yourself:

i wear a lot of black lmao

56- What are three things most people don’t know about you?

i write poetry, i started taking french in 4th grade, i like doing the new york times mini crosswords hehe 

57- An unknown fact about your life:

not totally sure what this is asking but ig that ive always been vegetarian lol

59- Five weird things that you like:

i can literally only think of one for this lmao: sour cream on this one pizza

63- A quote you try to live by:

i dont think i have one but “treat people with kindness” is a good rule of thumb 

81- What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?

between your legs your bed, italy, germany, england, france

92- Say 7 facts about your childhood:

i lived in 4 states, i took ballet for like a year, i played basketball, i was kinda a theatre kid haha, my fam had three dogs, i did a voiceover for a legal video for a case, i used to have straight kinda blonde hair lmao 

104- Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

yes ma’am hehe

106- Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

yes i think so hehe

119- What is your idea of the perfect date?

literally anything with you hehe but like maybe a photo booth, long drive, good food, walk and holding hands, cuddling and looking at the stars together, and stuff 

120- Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend:

4′10″, amazing smile and eyes, really cute dimples, glasses, long black hair, caring, impatient ;), dehydrated, sleepy hehe, great listener and super caring, there for it all, supportive, funny hehe, easy to talk to and hang out with, compatible with me aka ummmm you hehe

121- What is the first thing you noticed in someone?

smile, eyes, style, hair (well first four things haha)

123- What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

nice eyes and smile hehe 

153- If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

e v e r y t h i n g hehe

162- The last time you felt jealous, and why?

i dont think i have felt jealous in a while so idek lmao

238- Something you’re currently worrying about:

college, life, the usual haha

Thank you for the ask babygirl hehe and i never mind long asks especially from you :) 😘🥰🤗

[purplesurveys]

878

Can you lift more than 100lbs? I can’t even lift 100 lbs flat. The most I’ve been able to deadlift was I think 80 or 90 lbs, but I already count that as an achievement since I weigh around that much anyway. What's your opinion on incest? Big yikes. Some memes can be hilarious but when you think about how incest will sometimes come from a place of sexual abuse within the family, it stops being funny so I’d rather take it seriously like 98% of the time. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Mmm I think orange is really cute. The few cats that have been nice to me are usually the orange ones. What was your latest email about? It’s an email from a transcribing website inviting me to their Slack. Since I can’t get a legit job for now, Gab let me know about these websites that’ll let you do some transcribing and pay you a few cents (around ₱15-20) for each of them. One of the sites I joined, whose test I passed, invited me to their Slack earlier today so I can be a part of the team. I’m still feeling too anxious to join the group so I haven’t addressed it for now, but maybe by tonight or tomorrow. What video games did you play when you were younger? Our parents weren’t too strict when it came to video game supervision so we were already playing Grand Theft Auto, Silent Hil, Resident Evil, etc. as kids. Those games eventually ended up being my favorites. I liked other less-violent games too, like games from the Burnout franchise, The Simpsons: Hit and Run and that one Spongebob video game based on the first Spongebob movie hehe.

Would you ever get a tramp stamp? That’s not really a place where I’d like to get a tattoo. I want it to be somewhere I can constantly see, like my fingers or wrist. Do you like Lady Gaga? Yeah. It has a sentimental point to it too because she’s essentially a part of the root of mine and Gabie’s friendship. When we first met I was heavily into Beyoncé and she, into Gaga. Telephone was still a super popular song then and people were really into the Bey-Gaga duo, so it was the perfect recipe for a friendship to form. We make it a point to like each other’s bias so she’s caught up with Beyoncé’s new material and I also always support Gaga’s. What's your favorite commercial? I love the sports car ad of Fita and the ‘First Love’ McDonald’s ad. Jollibee’s Valentine’s Day ads have also been pretty gut-wrenching in the last few years. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? I didn’t, but by then I already knew how big of a star he was because of how much Beyoncé hyped him up before he passed lol. It was also easy to understand that it was a big deal because the news covered his death and funeral for hourssss during that week. What does the last notification you received say? “home” Gab drove out to run some errands and I asked her to let me know when she gets home, because the weather isn’t looking good. What's the ugliest species of animal? Cockroaches. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I wasn’t embarrassed over the punk bands I listened to but I knew my classmates weren’t going to understand my taste and possibly ostracize me even more than I already was, so I kept my punk playlist all to myself. Who is on your Top Friends? I don’t have Myspace but Facebook ranks friends based on how much you interact with them and my top 5 are Angela, Gabie, Mils, Alique, and Andrew. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? Spotify.  Do people know a lot about you? You guys sure do. But yeah when it comes to irl people I wear my heart on my sleeve, too. What was the last thing you said out loud? “That’s enough for now.”  Do you miss anybody? Of course. All my friends. More than ever. Have you ever heard the song What A Wonderful World? Yes, though I think I may have only ever heard the chorus since that’s the most-played part of the song. Who was the last person you said I Love You to? Gabie. Have you ever deleted someone off of Facebook? I’ve unfriended countless people and blocked a handful of others. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Puppy bites, yes. Have you ever been burned? My finger has. When I was 7 I stupidly laid a finger on a clothes iron that was plugged in. My grandma had been using it but she left for a while to do a task. It’s still up there on the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Who was your last inbox message from? It’s the same message from Gab I mentioned earlier. Would you ever consider being a critic? Nah. Analyzing works of art has never been my strong suit. I once had to keep a movie review blog as one of the requirements for my Film 100 class and I honestly found it difficult. Being a critic requires rich knowledge on anything and everything you’re critiquing, and I don’t know if I’m well-versed enough for that. I just want to enjoy my films, dude. Same goes for TV shows, paintings, food, poems, etc. Who was the last person you slept beside? Gab probs, but it’s been a while. Do you like Metallica? I loved For Whom the Bell Tolls from the very first second I heard it, which was when Triple H used it as his entrance song from one of the recent-ish Wrestlemanias. Other than that, I’m not familiar with their music.

What's your favorite kind of soup? Miso! What’s your best friend's favorite band? Angela loves The Maine. I know Gab doesn’t pick a favorite anything. Who was the last person you IMed? Again, Gabie. Have you ever heard of the band Thin Lizzy? Nope. Who was the last person you took a picture with? I haven’t had a photo with anyone in a while, but I want to guess that it’s my family. Do you play Guitar Hero? I used to. But I always preferred Rock Band because I really liked the concept of switching from one instrument to another. Do you play any real instruments? No. What are un-real instruments lol Where are your siblings right now? They’re both in the living room. Whose house did you last visit? My grandma’s house, aka the house where we used to live. My uncle baked me a tres leches cake as a graduation gift so I briefly came over to pick it up :) Since I was already there, my grandma also gave me a portion of the lengua she had made for dinner.  Who was the last person to come to your house? ^ Same grandma, and my cousin. They went over to meet Cooper and to do a lot of catching up. What time do you usually eat dinner? 7-7:30 in the evening. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Hahaha yeah, I think most of us have at one point. I also looked up myo old school when I was still studying there. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No. I know some people aren’t the most comfortable with hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? If I can be promised that the virus will be gone by 2021, then hell yes. What have you done so far this summer? This has been one long-ass summer...I’ve finished my thesis, relinquished my duties as VP for my org, owned a puppy, gotten sick for the first time in years, seen my girlfriend once in four months, cooked something from scratch for the first time, and tried to apply for simple side jobs over the interwebs. Do you have a common name or uncommon? It’s kinda in the middle? It’s not a unique name, but it’s also not a very popular choice. What's your favorite punk band? Against Me! I have my other fave punk bands but none has done it for me the way AM! has.

[thewritingstar]

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE. 

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go. 

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

--

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic 

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27. 

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song 

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts 

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes 

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel 

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally 

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs. 

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring. 

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops. 

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console 

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot. 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others. 

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum 

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

[6ad6ro]

um so… i woke up thinking of this old friend. she was like best friends w my bad ex? like i used to hang out w her like crazy. she was rly nice? mostly? tho she def had this issue where she didn’t rly know what she wanted in life. and let other ppls warped judgements of “how ppl should act” rub off on her.

like i remember times she would more or less call me a lazy piece of shit to my face. like it was somehow “understood”? but then i’d be like “why are u calling me that?” and she wouldn’t know. bc it wasn’t her actual opinion. she liked who i was. idk she was just rly confused. i think her brother was a cop. her dad was emotionally neglecting and like conservative or militant? i remember her always wanting to smoke pot but also saying “drugs are bad™”. she was someone who u could tell always wanted to be free but was held back by the opinions of the people around her.

especially her on again off again bf? i… didn’t like him. he wanted to grow up to be a politician. he only listened to classic rock. he looked and acted like a conservative wanabee eric foreman from that 70s show, but somehow even worse. he had her convinced that her dream was to be “a loving housewife”… it made me sick. i remember how he tried to convince her to stop hanging out w her best friend and me JUST bc she smoked pot. bc “she was an evil hippie and bad”. i mean tbh she SHOULD have stopped hanging out w my bad ex, but for completely dif reasons. like he was def that kinda guy. a selfish, immature, stubborn, self-righteous idiot. but he was the first guy to ever rly like her. and she had… self esteem issues. i remember how she would… was always waiting for him to decide to wanna go out w her. she seemed so lonely.

her and i were kinda friends separately from my bad ex (lets call her “A”). so one time i remember she ended up coming over to hang w me n watch rocky horror in my room? it was rly fun tbh!! we were having a great time! it was totally innocent! but i remember at one point she like… got weird. got up. and was like “im sorry i think i’m being a bad person i gotta go”. and left? i didn’t get it at the time? or rather… i think i denied it. she clearly liked me, wanted something to happen that night, and felt like a bad friend for having those thoughts. i never asked her about it but looking back it was p obvious. also A was a control freak n just a bad person… so i wouldn’t be surprised if she told L to stay away from me. even tho A was constantly cheating on me n using everyone around her etc. idk it was complicated.

i also remember another time before her and that guy that became her bf (lets call her “l” and him “m”)… i remember there was some small party at my house and for some horribly embarrassing reason my bad ex (we were still together then) convinced me to mess around w her under a blanket in same room as our other friends? we were all v v drunk. i guess it made others in room feel v lonely n so L and this other girl started like… both making out w the one other guy in the room? it was bizarre. that kind of stuff is fine in some circumstances? but this was rly unhealthy. i remember the guy felt bad and told the other girl he had to stop bc he had always rly liked L and wanted to see where things would go w her? other girl said she was fine w it (and knowing her persona it easily was?) and he ended up napping on floor w L. next day i think she woke up, completely regretted what happened, and ran back to M. it kinda sucked for guy bc he rly cared about her but she never even was willing to talk about what had happened. to her it was just a drunken mistake (i knew she kinda liked him back but obv she was scared).

even w all that stuff, L was a constant member of our hangout group for like… 7 or 8 years straight? idk! it was always rly fun w her! even if, looking back, A constantly was ruining all our fun w her insane bullshit. i have fond memories of 3am park hangouts n just roaming around talking n going on adventures… i’d never cheat on a partner. never have, never will. but i think i did have like… feelings for L that i always ignored? that part of her that… wanted freedom? from those weird family’s/bf’s/society’s ideals that she let chain her down? it was attractive. she was a nice person just doin her best.

anyways i remember around when A and i finally broke up for good (only a month after my dad died, if u wanna know how awful of a person A was). and she ended up taking me aside n warning me that A had been cheating on w me w another guy, but it’d gotten serious w him. and A of course was lying and stringing me along so she could get money n sex from me etc. A using me was p common. but L had had enough and “betrayed A” (did a v nice thing) and told me. i think that was… really what set in motion A and i being done for good. that helped wake me up about what a horrible person A was. and had always been. i’ll always be grateful to L for that. that must’ve been hard for her. and i think her and A’s like 10 year friendship died over that. which rly was a good thing like A was a terrible person.

anyways fast forward like 2? 3?? 4 years? L had gone off to a college out of state w her boyfriend M. she… followed him around. no judgement, but it prob wasn’t good for her. i was in an apartment in another city and me and A had been DONE™ for years. i was still def hurt from the 8+ years of abuse, but i was def over her at least. seeing other ppl regularly. it was def a weird time for me but… that’s another story.

L and i hadn’t rly talked in years. i just didn’t rly associate w ppl A still hung around. i never knew her and L had stopped being friends or i prob woulda kept up w L. i don’t think L and i cut off contact on purpose, but it was just one if those “things”. but L hit me up outta the blue. was like “ back in town do u wanna hang?” and we did! it was rly nice seeing her! we went out and about. idk. we started hanging for a bit. but she… idk she clearly rly enjoyed my company? but also… had those weird judgements. idk.

one time we were hanging and she was at my place and saw all the alcohol i had layin around and was like “hey uhhh can i have some?” and i was like “hehe okay i guess we can drink” and ordered a pizza and we just hung out.

idk but before we got drunk she finally told me why she was back. M, the guy she had followed to college, had done the gross, stereotypical dude thing of breaking up w her right after they both graduated. i got a vibe he had been cheating on her all throughout too. he rly was the type. and as we drank we talked about it. i felt so bad for her. she vented all night. and idk all i remember was we were both v drunk and i think i was… idk why my head was in her lap? but she was playing w my hair. and idk. we kissed. things happened. she seemed so happy w it! i was too. i even stupidly cracked a joke “i bet A would be rly pissed if she saw us rn” and we both laughed. i always regretted sayin it tho bc its not like i was doin it to get back at A.

but i remember we were in my bed making out bc i had accidentally gotten aggressive w her n slammed her into a wall n started kissing her? so hard her nose started bleeding? i felt awful but she LOOOVED it and idk we somehow wound up in bed. idk i kinda regret this. bc… i was having a hard time around then and… just sleeping w all my friends? it just became… clockwork. i would do what i thought my friends wanted me to do regardless of how i felt. i had become kinda a slut.

so i remember like… making out but then i started to escalate things? and i think fir a split second she sobered up and was like “wait lets cool this down a little”. and i was like “okay no prob” and we both tried to go for a walk n find a park? we walked hand in hand and she kept telling me how happy she was? like how… this was the kinda stuff M would never do with her? she was just smiling a lot. it was cute. but i was so drunk n still fairly new to area, so i took her in wrong direction from the park. we ended up giving up n just walking back.

we got back in and thats i think when she sobered up mostly but i wad still out of it? and she realised her dog hadn’t been fed. it was def a partial excuse but she rly loved that dog so i could tell it was REAL guilt. i felt bad bc i tried to take her hand n go back into my room bc i wanted her to stay n cuddle? i was just drunk. i wasn’t forceful, but i shoulda been like “oh that’s fine!” but tbh i was also a touch worried she was too drunk to drive. well anyways… she left.

later we did have a looong talk about it. like… she ended up going to try and get back with M again (i still will never know what she saw in him like he rly used her n treated her bad like even going so far as to ask her advice on dating other girls after they broke up). but idk i thought she was smart enough to end things w him, and could tell her and i had feelings, so i tried to stay a lil closer than friends? idk what i told her but it was along the lines of “we can stay friends but if things happen sometimes it’s okay w me”. i look back on it w embarrassment but i guess it wasn’t that bad a thing to say?

but rly it was mostly a drunken mistake. and she was scared. and wanted to cut it off. she couldn’t end things w M like she was still torally in love w him even tho he had abandoned her. tbh i know what that’s like. well anyways i remember a few hangouts later she just… bailed on me? in a rly mean way? i had gone to pick her up from her house (idk 30 min drive each way) and she just… totally stood me up. i was parked at her house like texting her wondering where she was? and she sent me a text like “sorry something came up”. and wouldn’t tell me what happened and i got annoyed and drove home.

i have a feeling now that like M had… shown back up in her life and she sorta… threw me away to run back to him? i mean i can’t take it too personally bc she woulda done that to ANYONE. i don’t remember what happened after that but we just stopped talking again. i saw later on fb that her and M had gotten engaged or married?? idek? idk if her and i are still fb friends or if one of us blocked the other or what? i don’t remember.

but idk. i hope she’s well. i hope M got WAYYY better. or she left him. or idk. i wouldn’t even know how to contact her. i’m almost afraid to. like bc i… could see her giving up on her dreams and just being that housewife to him. even if she was mildly content doing that, i know she’d never be happy. and it’s so unlikely that he’d have grown to be good to her. i just… hope she’s doing well and is okay and happy. idk why i woke up worrying about her. it’s been so long… i’m such a dif person now. idk. time is weird.

[melananin]

Get to know me pt. idk

200: My crush’s name is: brantdypoo 199: I was born in: us 198: I am really: quiet 197: My cellphone company is: tmoblie 196: My eye color is: brown 195: My shoe size is: 7ish 194: My ring size is: idk  193: My height is: 5′2 192: I am allergic to: eggs 191: My 1st car was: subaru  190: My 1st job was: working with kids  189: Last book you read:  a million little pieces 188: My bed is: medium 187: My pet: dog 186: My best friend: 3 people  185: My favorite shampoo is: the one from costco 184: Xbox or ps3: ps4 183: Piggy banks are: ok 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: days i work  and finals 180: Marriage is: whatever 179: Spongebob can: laugh 178: My mom: is cool 177: The last three songs I bought were?  movements 176: Last YouTube video watched: patd live at reading and leeds festival 175: How many cousins do you have? too many 174: Do you have any siblings? 1 173: Are your parents divorced? hA 172: Are you taller than your mom? no 171: Do you play an instrument? i can 170: What did you do yesterday? @ my bbb [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: idk 168: Luck: eh 167: Fate: ye 166: Yourself: no 165: Aliens: probably 164: Heaven: idk 163: Hell: idk 162: God: idk 161: Horoscopes: no 160: Soul mates: maybe 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: sure 157: War: no 156: Orbs: huh 155: Magic: no [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: black 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brown 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: sumemr 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: orange 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcd 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk 140: Mac or PC: mac 139: Flip flops or high heels: flioops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: coach 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: hands 127: East Coast or West Coast: east 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: six flags 123: Yankees or Red Sox: who cares   [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: it dumb 121: George Bush: which 120: Gay Marriage: it okay 119: The presidential election: ugh 118: Abortion: it okay 117: MySpace: idk 116: Reality TV: it whack 115: Parents: mine suck rn 114: Back stabbers: you dumb 113: Ebay: it okay 112: Facebook: it okay 111: Work: i complain a lot but its actualy good 110: My Neighbors: they okay  109: Gas Prices: they high now 108: Designer Clothes: eh 107: College: its alright 106: Sports: they alright 105: My family: broken rn 104: The future: im scared [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: yesterday 102: Last time you ate: 30 min ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today 100: Cried in front of someone: a week ago 99: Went to a movie theater: almost two weeks ago 98: Took a vacation: two weeks ago 97: Swam in a pool: the winter 96: Changed a diaper: never 95: Got my nails done: looong time ago 94: Went to a wedding: friday before last 93: Broke a bone: never? 92: Got a peircing: when i was 2 months old 91: Broke the law: a few days ago 90: Texted: rn [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: my friends  88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog and bed 87: The last movie I saw: it may have been la llorona 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: school ending and going to nyc and doing stuff 85: The thing im not looking forward to: my dad moving out 84: People call me: nani 83: The most difficult thing to do is: ask 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: no 81: My zodiac sign is: virgo 80: The first person i talked to today was: my grandpa 79: First time you had a crush: prob kindergarten or something 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: certain person 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: today 76: Right now I am talking to: bbb 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: i dont know 74: I have/will get a job:? 73: Tomorrow: i have a final 72: Today: i had a final 71: Next Summer: im going to ny 70: Next Weekend: idk what im doing 69: I have these pets: dog and fish 68: The worst sound in the world: screaming 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: idk 66: People that make you happy: my friends and fmaily kinda 65: Last time I cried: a bit ago idk 64: My friends are: cool 63: My computer is: nice 62: My School: alright 61: My Car: cute 60: I lose all respect for people who: believe dumb things 59: The movie I cried at was: i dont remmeber 58: Your hair color is: brown 57: TV shows you watch: non rn 56: Favorite web site: pornhub  55: Your dream vacation: all of europe  54: The worst pain I was ever in was: golf ball sized blister on my foot while having a shoe on it 53: How do you like your steak cooked: yes

52: My room is: messy

51: My favorite celebrity is: kaya 50: Where would you like to be: in a good place 49: Do you want children: porbably 48: Ever been in love: i think so 47: Who’s your best friend:  46: More guy friends or girl friends: 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: bbb 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no 41: Have you pre-named your children: kinda 40: Last person I got mad at: dad 39: I would like to move to: washington 38: I wish I was a professional: [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: reeses 36: Vehicle: subaru 35: President: obama 34: State visited: washingotn 33: Cellphone provider: idk 32: Athlete: uj 31: Actor: evan peters 30: Actress: kaya 29: Singer: sky 28: Band: movements 27: Clothing store: hm 26: Grocery store: king soopers 25: TV show: twd 24: Movie: not sure 23: Website:  22: Animal: fox 21: Theme park: universal florida 20: Holiday: 19: Sport to watch: 18: Sport to play: 17: Magazine: 16: Book: 15: Day of the week: 14: Beach: 13: Concert attended: 12: Thing to cook: 11: Food: 10: Restaurant: 9: Radio station: 8: Yankee candle scent: 7: Perfume: 6: Flower: 5: Color: 4: Talk show host: 3: Comedian: 2: Dog breed: 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? 

[starlightkun]

85 statements tag!!

i was tagged by the lovely @agustdomain (yes we talked for two minutes and you were super lovely)

long tag so im putting it under the cut, and i’m also not tagging anyone bc idk i just don’t

last

1. drink - diet coke!! im mildly addicted lmao

2. phone call - my friend, he needed to vent

3. text message - "i leave for ten minutes and y’all nasties start licking lamps” in a group message with krys ( @cheesyramynry ) and cj ( @vernwn )

4. song you listened to - shine by pentagon

5. time you cried - uh like a week ago because i was really tired physically and emotionally

ever

6. dated someone twice - nope, and i don’t think i ever could,,,,

7. kissed someone and regretted it - never even kissed anyone before so uh,, no

8. been cheated on - no, thankfully,, it’d like probs break me tho

9. lost someone special - yeah

10. been depressed - yes, a lot better now

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no, and i plan on never drinking, the idea of not being in control of myself absolutely terrifies me, and i just kind of start crying around people when they drink (alcoholic mother)

fave colors

12. orange

13. purple

14. light gray

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes!! they’ve become some of my best friends now too

16. fallen out of love - nope, never been in love in the first place

17. laughed until you cried - so many times, most recently about two weeks ago

18. found out someone was talking about you - idk in what sense this means but yes????

19. met someone who changed you - yeah, for sure

20. found out who your friends are - absolutely

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - don’t use facebook and have never kissed anyone lmao

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - don’t use facebook

23. do you have any pets - four dogs, three horses

24. do you want to change your name - i quite like my first name, but i’d want to change my middle name tbh

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i had a space-themed sweet 16 and got a car!! it was real fun

26. what time did you wake up today - like 7 am,,, which is sleeping in for me

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping thank god,, unlike now, where its almost midnight and im doing this tag bc i took naps earlier and couldnt sleep

28. what is something you can’t wait for - sleeping

30. what are you listening to right now - im watching arrested development bu the last song i listened to was shine by pentagon

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - uh yeah??

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - the fact that i need to work during the one week that i was promised i’d have off

33. most visited website - youtube and tumblr probably,,, pretty much all i use my laptop for, plus writing

34. hair colour - light brown

35. long or short hair - just go tmy short hair baack!! i call it the bisexual bob lmao

36. do you have a crush on someone - a real intense one?? no, not for a hot second, but lots of people where i’m like ‘yeah id date them’

37. what do you like about yourself - that i’m the mom friends, and support my friends as best as i can; also my dimples!!

38. want any piercings? - i’ve been meaning to get a second piercing for years, and i want some cartilage ones too, and maybe a lip piercing

39. blood type -  either a or o

40. nicknames - mel, melly, lini, bini

41. relationship status - single, don’t plan on doing much for a little bit since i’m gonna be a senior next year and then leaving

42. zodiac - libra

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - house md, arrested development, uh the eccelston, tennent, and smith seasons of doctor who (i dont watch a lot of tv these days)

45. tattoos - none, but i really do want some when i’m older

46. right or left handed - righty

47. ever had surgery - nope

48. piercings - just your regular one in each earlobe

49. sport -  i swim, as well as coach swimming and teach swim lessons!!

50. vacation - officially on summer break, first week is my only vacation before i have to work seven days a week

51. trainers - i’m guessing this is like,,, the british term for sneakers?? i’ve got a couple pairs

more general

52. eating - got myself a pizza an hour ago

53. drinking - it came with the diet coke

54. i’m about to watch -  another episode of arrested development

55. waiting for - graduation/college

56. want - to eventually see literally a n y of the groups i like in concert,,,,,, they never come to florida smh

57. get married - not for a while

58. career - right now i teach/coach swimming, but i’m going to college for asl interpreting

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs, they make me feel safe

60. lips or eyes - eyes, i think they’re really pretty

61. shorter or taller - i don’t care either way, i’m fairly tall so it’s whatever to me

62. older or younger - at my current time i life, i’d prefer same-age, but in the future i don’t see myself caring about that much

63. nice arms or stomach - oof arms for sure

64. hookup or relationship - i’m definitely not about hookups, so relationship,,,, althought i for sure have commitment issues lmao

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant. so hesitant,,,,,,, i need to think things out before i do much

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger -  ,,,,,,never kissed anyone

67. drank hard liquor - absolutely not

68. lost glasses - don’t have glasses, i see for free

69. turned someone down - yeah

70. sex on first date - nope

71. broken someone’s heart - ,,yeah

72. had your heart broken - not commpletely, no,,, i never let myself invest that much,,,,,, part of the commitment issues i guess

73. been arrested - lmao no

74. cried when someone died - yeah, a little too much

75. fallen for a friend - a bit

do you believe in

76. yourself - of course,, it wavers sometimes, but i know i’ll be okay in the end

77. miracles - sure

78. love at first sight - absolutely not

79. santa claus - until i was thirteen lmaooo

80. kiss on a first date - meh, maybe

81. angels - not in the biblical sense,, but i think that people can eb angels in their own right

other

82. best friend’s name - there’s a few,,,, gwen, krys, nathan, cj

83. eye colour - light brown with a little bit of green around the outside

84. fave movie - dead poets society, handsome devil, and john mulaney’s comedy specials on netflix (don’t even @ me, they count)

85. fave actor - can’t rlly just pick one,,,, chris evans is pretty cool tho, and so is tom holland and chadwick boseman

[i-amusemyself]

1 To 116.

Thanks anon!! Thats my boredom cured for the evening

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

I’m actually not confused right now, which is a bloody rarity. I suppose I could say I’m slightly confused about my gender, but I try not to think about that tbh

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Occasionally, though to be fair I’m never awake in the mornings atm lmao

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

On a rare occasion? No. All the time? Probably.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Fuck no lmao have you met people?

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Umm...I was with my bf..

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my mate from uni @bookdragonphoenix

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Instant break up. No excuses for that.

8: Are you close with your dad?

Hoo boi that’s complicated! It varies honestly, but more so than some people I guess

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

Yeah

10: What are you listening to?

I’m listening to Ke$ha’s Die Young. It’s a tune okay?

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Coke Cola (that is how you spell it right? Fuck im dumb). I live off it anyway tbh

12: Do you like hickeys?

Um, I like getting them but I get embarrased if some people see them lmfao

13: What time do you go to bed?

Like 12am? Usually about 2 hours after I’m tired enough to sleep smh

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Besides me? I guess a couple of people that are...distant friends and possibly a few family members, not to call anyone out

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Well no lmao

16: Do you always answer your texts?

90% of them

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

I don’t know who I fell the hardest for. I don’t really recall past emotions that well.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Todayy

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

3 or 4 people yeah!

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

Fuck me I don’t know. Probably ughhh can I fall asleep pls

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

Nope. I havent even seen another human today lmao

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

To an extent, but it’s not always guaranteed unfortunately

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Fuck no lmao

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

That depends on the definition of fix. If it solely relies on me doing things different, then no. But if it means someone else can themselves be fixed, sure.

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Nah, wish I could though I feel like I need to

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Grey

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

Not people I see anymore

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Don’t think so. I think people are just busy.

29: Do you have a best friend?

I have multiple

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Very :/

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

@oneshappyplace bc she loves it when i throw random shit her way and vice versa

32: Are you mad at anyone?

I mean besides the people I have long term issues with? Nah

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Haha yeah

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

20. Oh jeeeeesus christ that’s a scary fucking thought. Nope-ing away from that.

35: How many more days until your birthday?

8 months ish?

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

I’m going away to quite a few places. There’s more I want to do but I don’t know if it will ever get organised.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Besides my bf, not good ones. 

Edit: I completely forgot about one of my friends, yes I do

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Not intentionally. Idk. Don’t ask don’t tell I guess.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Yeah bc it aint anyones business

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

I don’t think so. 

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

To an extent. Massive age gaps are weird, especially if one of them is hella young

42: Are you available?

Nein

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

2

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Eyebrow piercing

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

I guess? I mean I probs couldn’t do that but I guess for others 

46: Do you regret anything?

So fucking much omfg

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

How shit I am at communication. I’m really starting to get mad at myself and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

In a way, yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

No

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

I...am ig

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Yup

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Wow this is relentless with the kissing. Yah

53: What was the last thing you ate?

An orange

54: Did you get any compliments today?

Nope

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Suffolk for latitude festival. How I ended up going there is a long story lmao

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

Tons of stuff I guess. I mean I’m wearing my ohio state tshirt haha

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

In the middle of england

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Fucking hell, like 7 or 8 weeks ago when I came back to uni

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Who hasn’t?

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

Nah 

62: Who do you text the most?

Probably @oneshappyplace or @apricot-el they get all my bs

63: What was the last movie you saw?

It’s called Chronicle, it was p good

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Don’t fekkin ask that lmao! Hopefully the fact they’re happy and their ex is now miles away

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

Zero

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Nein

67: Do you curse around your parents?

Yeah, much to their dislike

68: Are you happy with where you live?

Yeah, but I’m only here for 3 more weeks

69: Picture of yourself?

No chance. Just imagine stereotypical androgenous kid, but lanky af

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Personally I prefer monogamy

71: Have you ever been dumped?

Um...I actually can’t remember

72: What do you most like about making out?

Feeling wanted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (sweet sweet depression and anxiety)

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Nah

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Strangely enough, me

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

I cannot seriously pick one part

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

You guessed it it’s @oneshappyplace

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

I mean I’m alone

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Nope

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Just cute unexpected gestures I suppose

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

I mean, maybe not currently but who knows if I was older

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Yeah

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Just my closest friends and the person I have a crush on *eye roll*

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

No

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Years ago

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

I mean I’ve met them now but yes 

86: How can I win your heart?

Be a kind, understanding human being with a damn good sense of humor

87: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Bothering friends lmao

89: Do you cook?

Occasionally. I used to a lot more but depression

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Yeah, but it only ever seems to be me making the effort, so every time I’ve let them go again

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

see like all previous answers lol

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Monogamous stuff

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

I honestly don’t know. I can never figure out my type, just, hotness lmao

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

Dopamine, money, the power to help others more...thats it thats all I want

95: Are you a player?

Nein

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

Nope

97: Are you a tease?

I can be but not in a cruel way

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Two people and we’re still close

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

That’s a loaded question yikes. I dont know.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

I mean I don’t know their tumblr but yh

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Both. I can’t choose. I’m bi.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Probs idk

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

....their face?

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Sure

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

Not until I knew wtf they were playing at

106: Do you flirt a lot?

I’m hopeless at it

107: Your last kiss?

Yesterday

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

I haven’t kissed that many people, full stop.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Yikes see 107

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

The bae tbh

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

I have a p good idea

112: Does someone like you currently?

I fekkin hope so

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yeah lmao

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious shit 

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

Once when drunk 

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

In a relationship, for sure

[princesswinnifred]

i have not done one of these in a very long time but i have had too much caffeine today and i’m feeling particularly Share-y so here’s this

1. The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say… i straight up do not know who the last person i kissed was and not bc i’m a big ho it’s because the last time i kissed someone it was for performance art so idk how to answer this

2. Did you get to sleep in today? yes i did and i regret it

3. Do you never know what you got until you lose it? like yes, absolutely, that’s why it’s a cliche

4. Do you have siblings? yes i have a younger brother

5. How many kids do you want? like two probably

6. Who was the last person you held hands with? it was likely marin from chais or someone else really touchy

7. Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss? no i was seated

8. Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care? idk who it was but i HOPE so

9. Last person to talk on the phone? my dad

10. Did anyone watch the last time you kissed someone? nope, by design

11. When’s your birthday? september 14

12. Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? omg can we can it with the last person i kissed questions i do not know who it was

13. What kind of phone do you have? iphone 7+

14. Are you watching jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? i am not wearing any pants

15. Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? very different!!!! i just copy-pasted this question thing from somewhere where i did it five years ago and my answers are very different

16. What were you doing at 4am? i was ASLEEP

17. Would you rather write a paper or give a speech? give a speech but i don’t mind either

18. Are you lying to yourself about something? probably lol aren’t we all always doing that

19. Last night you felt…? not great

20. What’s something you cannot wait for? my friends to come home from europe/hang out with me!!!!

21. Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere different? probably

22. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? like ten

23. Are you a morning or a night person? night

24. What did you get your last bruise from? it’s a MYSTERY as per usual

25. Do you reply to all of your texts? yeah compulsively

26. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? i’d be like “this is bizarre bc i have not heard from this person in like three years” but i’d answer?

27. Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? nope

28. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? yeah!!!!!! absolutely yeah

29. How many months until your birthday? four!!! twenty-fun baby

30. Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? chocolate!!!!!

31. Did you like this past summer? last summer was pretty good

32. What were you doing before you got on the computer? i watched inside llewyn davis with my parents

33. Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do? i’d be like “WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A FACEBOOK???”

34. Last thing you said out loud? “goodnight”

35. Your mood summed into one word? vibrating

36. Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey? nope

37. What are your initials? SJL

38. Are you a happy person? nope but that’s okay

39. Do you still talk to the person you liked four months ago? four months ago i didn’t really Like anyone

40. Where do you want to live when you’re older? new york probably, idk a city with cool theatre

41. Have you had your birthday this year? nope

42. What did you do yesterday? i worked and had a miserable time interviewing the director of this show and then i drove home and it took me forever and then i watched high school musical theatre awards with my parents

43. What will you be doing tomorrow? idk hopefully something that makes me feel productive

44. How late did you stay up last night? i prob fell asleep around 2

45. Is there anyone you would do anything for? yeah for sure

46. Is it hard to make you laugh? not at all

47. Do you believe exes can be just friends? idk it depends on the circumstances of the breakup but probably yes

48. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? no lol

49. How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012? like 2.5 cause one of them wasn’t serious at all (im keeping the 2012 answer bc in my mind it’s only one but 2012 sarah knows the sitch better than 2018 sarah does)

50. Do you wish your ex was dead? no!

51. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes

52. Would you ever take back someone who cheated? i don’t think so

53. Was New Year’s Eve enjoyable? yeah i love new year’s!!!

54. Bet you’re missing someone right now? yep!!!!! always in the summer especially

55. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? well i did get a tattoo and my mother did not speak to me for a while but my dad was fine

56. Sleep on your back or stomach? side

57. If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be? london probably

58. What would you change about your life right now? i’d be more confident and i’d have a well-paying job

59. Has anything upset you in the past week? yeah obviously who do you think i am

60. Are you on the phone? nope

61. Today, would you rather go forward or back a week? forward

62. Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? 40k are u kidding

63. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? hundreds of times

64. Ever cried when you were on the phone with someone? absolutely

65. Have you ever copied somebody else’s homework? yes lol

66. Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home? at home!!!! but out on specific occasions

67. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? yes

68. Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone? close to

69. Could you use some sleep right now? yes absolutely

70. Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18? i am 20 and i didn’t

71. Does it bother you when someone hides things from you? it sure does

72. What’s your favorite color? pink

73. Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked? yes

74. Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand? constantly

75. Do you get annoyed easily? i do

76. If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? lol it totally depends

77. Do you have a person of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yes

78. Does anyone call you babe? no THANKS

79. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? two or three

80. What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand? relationship!!!!

81. What color hoodie did you wear last? maroon 

82. Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point and isn’t around anymore? yep

[ofstaffs]

rerek 2

rey rey immediately stepped away, a heartbroken expression taking over her already distraught features. derek clearly didn't trust them together. she didn't want him to be mad at her anymore. instead she backed up even more before stumbling towards where derek had gone, eventually finding him by the bar. "what did i do now?" she asked tiredly, still not able to look into his eyes.

Derek: It had nothing to do with trust or distrust and everything to do with the fact that even after proposing, even after promising his entire life to her, it still wasn't good enough - Rey had purposely kept their engagement from Steve and had acted like she was delivering both regretful and bad news when she'd told him. There were still feelings there, and it killed him that they were so obvious. He shook his head in response to Rey's question, arms crossed over his chest and not looking at her. "Are you in love with him?" he asked, voice distraught and confused, but not accusatory, more upset than blaming. "Because if you are, just get it out of the way now. Just tell me."

rey rey closed her eyes slowly then inhaled a slow, deep breath, letting it out as she managed to bring her exhausted eyes up to his own, though her hands were still clutching fearfully at the skirt of her dress. "no..." she whispered truthfully with an even tone. "are there still feelings there? yes. will i ever act on them? absolutely not. i didn't tell him because i didn't want to upset him on his wedding night, but that didn't go so well. anything else?" she raised one eyebrow then crossed her arms in return, trying to match his own firmness, though it was more adorable than anything.

rey joined the chat 26 hours ago

Derek: Ugh sorry we're figuring out how to get home

rey: haha its oka

rey: y

rey: ill be here

Derek: Derek wasn't sure he believed her, and he hated himself for it. It was just on the tip of his tongue to ask her - quite harshly, really - if Steve's /wife/ knew about their feelings for each other, but he swallowed the words down and sighed a hard breath out through his nose instead, ducking his head and taking more deep breaths to steady himself. He didn't want to fight. He was so tired of fighting. He couldn't comprehend what it must be like to love someone without complications. "Are you ready to go home?" he asked, voice matching the challenge that had been in Rey's. Apparently he hadn't quite gotten out of the clear; but at least he'd gotten away from talking about Steve.

rey rey just gave a single nod and tightened her sweater around herself before tilting her chin up then turning and walking away without waiting for him, trying her best to look defiant. but it wasn't really working. she stopped in place and looked around before ducking her head then quickly moving back to him, grasping onto his arm. "i-i don't know which way to go from here," she admitted sheepishly, voice lacking the stubbornness it'd contained before.

rey: ✍

rey: WHY DID THAT HAPPEN AGAIN JFC

Derek: Derek finished his beer and set his glass down then turned back to Rey-... Who seemed to have walked off without him. He rolled his eyes - if she was going to get defensive and irritated by his completely justifiable concern about her feelings for and relationship with another man, she was within her right to do that. But it didn't mean that he had to put up with it. He followed behind a ways, hesitantly approaching when she stopped. It surprised him when she took his arm, and he looked at her for a long quiet moment before continuing on, arm in arm with her down the road.

Derek: Lol no idea. It's funny

rey rey's stomach was still churning. it had been since the confrontation with ben and steve, and she knew it was all thanks to the exhilaration. she wrapped one arm around her front and continued to hold on tightly to his arm as they walked, though she was staring up at him sadly. they were well out of the meadow by the time she finally spoke up. "...i'm sorry i made you mad, derek... i promise i'll try to stop feeling this way about steve... i just want to make you happy," she murmured as if it were the most simple concept in the world then tucked her head against his arm and looked forward again.

Derek: Derek didn't mind silence. He was wondering what was going through Rey's mind the entire time, but he didn't much feel like talking, nevermind about everything that had happened, whether tonight or ever. "It's fine," he said passively, not really sounding like he meant it. "I just don't want to think about it anymore." He was going to put another ring on her finger and promise her his life, his whole world, and she couldn't even promise him her entire heart. Sighing, he turned them down another street in the direction of the apartments.

rey rey looked up swiftly again as she caught his tone, cheeks immediately paling. without even thinking about it, tears filled her eyes as her lip began to tremble, but she quickly faced away from him before he could see, even though she knew he'd probably find out anyway. still the nausea increased, especially due to his hollow, empty words. slowly, she stopped in place, letting her arm slip from his, as she turned her back to him completely, hand clasping over her mouth. she didn't know what would come out: a sob or sickness, so she just leaned over slightly and kept her hand over her mouth, hating the way they were acting.

Derek: Derek stopped when Rey did, brows furrowed as he watched her turn away and then curl into herself - he'd seen her fold in on herself when she was upset, but he felt that this had come on so quickly. He touched her arm as he stepped up next to her, surreptitiously pulling the pain as he looked at her face. Nausea swept through him, making him queasy for a minute. "What's wrong?"

Derek: I wish this fuxking thing notifications

rey rey glanced to the side just enough to see black running up his veins, and immediately pushed his hand off, shaking her head swiftly. "no..." she whined, not wanting him to do that for her. she deserved it. she'd made him unhappy and this was what she got for it. she stood up straight and moved in front of him, taking small gasps of breath. "i-i'm s-...." sick? sorry? "...s-scared of you leaving, don't leave, please..." she begged through her tears, holding her hand over her mouth again as she looked fearfully up into his eyes.

rey: on a computer it does

rey: it has sound notifications

rey: but i reply fast haha

Derek: "I'm scared of you leaving, too!" Derek pointed out with no small amount of irony and exasperation in his voice. "I'm scared of you cheating on me, I'm scared of you not being happy with me, I'm scared of you leaving me for him." His shoulders were rising and falling whxg as he spoke. "But that's what love is! That's what being with someone you care about is like! Constantly worrying that they're gonna find someone better than you, someone they deserve, because you want the best for them!" He ran both hands through his hair, looking just shy of pacing. "I'm not going anywhere! Jesus Christ, Rey. You think I'd give you my mother's ring and then leave because of shit with Steve? I'd never give him the satisfaction."

rey: yeet i hope this turns into fluff soon

Derek: It will

Derek: also

Derek: I am so so sleepy

Derek: *rapidly JFC were my she's even open when I typed that

Derek: EYES

Derek: FUCK ME

rey rey gasped sharply when he shouted, stumbling back immediately and clasping both hands over her mouth, as her jaw dropped. she just stared at him in disbelief as her tears continued to fall, stepping back again. what had happened to them? they'd been so happy in paris, and then suddenly... it seemed as if something had snapped. she'd never act on the extremely minor feelings she had for steve. derek had to know that. but obviously he didn't. "i'm sorry..." she sobbed helplessly and stumbled back yet again, not knowing what else she could do to make him not yell at her anymore. "p-please stop..."

rey: i hate timezones ugh

rey: ill be 3 hours ahead of you when you get back ;/

Derek: Ugh fuck that

rey: but ill stay up 4 u i promise

Derek: I'm so sorry I've been conking out so early. My mom fucking runs me ragged. I usually only walk like half a mile a day just in everyday life and we've done like 7, in shitty shoes, in the heat the past couple of days. I'm so wrecked.

rey: it's okay bb

rey: ill probs just re-read old rerek threads rip

Derek: He did stop, his chest rising and falling with the harshness of his breathing as he looked at her. He'd scared her, badly, and he hated himself for it. He just hadn't know how else to get out those feelings, to make her understand them. "I'm sorry," he mittered, turning to the curb and dropping down to sit, elbows on his knees and his head hung. He just wanted to be happy. He just wanted them to be happy.

rey as derek sat on the curb, rey felt a massive urge to make herself feel smaller than him, so she took a seat on the road where she had been standing and tucked her knees to her chest. she buried the lower half of her face in her kneecaps and stared down at the asphalt beneath her, crying silently to herself. she didn't want to be afraid... but when he yelled like that... nothing terrified her more. even snoke. even being alone on jakku for fifteen more years.

rey was timed out 12 hours ago

rey joined the chat 2 hours ago

Derek joined the chat 31 minutes ago

rey: rip they just arrested derek im so emo

Derek: womp

Derek: He looks so good in that scene tho

rey: he rly does

rey: the beard makes all the difference lbr

Derek: tru it makes him look so much older

rey: i love it

Derek: Derek hid his face in his hands; he didn't want to be angry about this anymore. He didn't want to feel frusrated with and upset at Rey, and he hated the way she seemed so scared of him, like she genuinely believed he would hurt her. He never would. He'd never raise a hand against her. He clenched his eyes shut as he took deep breaths to steady himself before he could get up and approach Rey, crouching down next to her and hesitantly, gently, touching her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, leaning in towards her. "I'm sorry I shouted. I'm just.... Frustrated. I want our relationship to be symmetrical and it doesn't feel that way, and that's hard for me to deal with. But I love you - more than anything, Rey - and nothing is going to change that. Ever."

rey rey couldn't help but duck away slightly when derek placed his hand on her shoulder, wincing softly, but took slow, deep breaths and wiped at her eyes then finally looked up into his, her worry evident. more tears fell as he spoke, and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion slightly. "you-you do...?" she whispered, tone genuinely surprised. she really was scared that he'd stopped loving her simply because of this stupid steve problem. something she couldn't help. she thought being honest about it would be better, that he'd help her get over him, but it had all backfired. "i-i love you s-so much... so much..."

Derek: "Of course I do," he said, a note of bemusement in his tone. As if something like this could just erase the entirety of their relationship, erase everything he loved so much about her. He found her left hand, holding it up between them. "I thought I made that clear when I made this particular promise." He cradled her face in his hand, looking into her eyes as he spoke. "I love you too. More than I think you realize." He wondered if she understand just how much proposing meant to him. "Can we go home now? I'm ready to just lay down with you."

rey rey's eyes drifted to her finger as more tears dripped down her cheeks, though she smiled shakily at the sight of the beautiful ring. then she met his eyes again and nodded. "y-yeah..." she whispered in agreement and wiped at her eyes again before taking his hands and standing slowly, still feeling somewhat off. "how about a massage?" she suggested with a small chuckle. the last one had just felt so darn good. "but this time i'll return the favor... i promise."

Derek: "Hey, there it is," Derek said warmly when she smiled, brushed over her cheek with the back of his thumb. "There you are." He kissed her forehead before helping her up, lacing their fingers together. "I'm more than happy to give you a massage," Derek said. "You deserve one. And I'd love one if you're up to it, but if you're not that's okay, too." He guided her by the hand around to his back, offering to give her a piggy back ride like he had after their first kiss.

rey "stop..." rey chuckled shyly when he commented on her smile, immediately turning her head away and biting her lip, though she was only smiling wider. he was too perfect. "of course i'm up for it," she replied and nodded, then giggled when he led her behind his back. she knew immediately what he was offering, so she laughed softly before carefully climbing onto his back, as if jumping would hurt him. "remember after the movie...? you gave me a ride home on your back," she chuckled, arms winding around his neck.

Derek: "As I recall," Derek said primly, "you loved it." He hooked his arms under her legs and bounced her a little so she'd move up his back into a more comfortable position. He started them back on the path home, not much of the walk remaining at that point. "You trust me?" he asked as they approached the staircase of the building that led up to their apartment.

rey "i did," rey admitted in a soft chuckle, hiding the lower half of her face in the back of his shoulder as she stared up at him. she let him readjust her on his back, complying willingly, and looked up again as they approached the staircase. her head quickly snapped towards him and she just paused before giggling nervously and holding onto him tighter. "always."

Derek: "Good. Take my hand." He held his right arm up, hand offered out to her. "And no matter what, don't let go, okay? And when I say so, just let go of everything else. Like you're jumping off. Got it?" Once her grip was sure, he gave her a, "Go!" and swung her around his body, landing her securely in his arms in a bridal carry.

rey rey quirked an eyebrow at him but slid her hand into his with a somewhat excited chuckle, keeping her grip tight. "okay..." she laughed nervously and raised her eyebrows before jumping off when he told her to, unsure of what to expect. but when she landed in his arms, she paused then began to laugh again, burying her face in her hands. "oh my goodness, that was so fun!"

Derek: Derek grinned, pleased that she'd enjoyed the little trick, and adjusted his arms slightly before heading up the stairs. "I thought you might like it," he said as they came to their landing and he fished out his keys.

rey "i always like when you carry me," rey giggled. it was true. she'd never get tired of it. when they approached the door, she turned her head to face it, but kept her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers combing through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Derek: "I noticed," Derek chuckled, carefully guided them through the door and making sure not to bump her into anything. He closed the door with his foot and carried her down the hall to their room, setting Rey down before climbing onto the bed next to her and laying on his side facing towards her.

rey rey turned her head forward again once they'd disappeared into the bedroom, smiling softly to herself. it smelled like his cologne. perfect. once he had laid her down, she kicked off her heels then curled up into a tight ball, the skirt of her dress curtaining over her legs. "you look so handsome..." she breathed out, reaching her fingers up to trace his cheekbone. "wow..."

Derek: "I look exactly the same way I did before I left for work," Derek chuckled, turning into her touch a little as he kept his eyes on hers. But he understood the sentiment - every time he went without seeing her for long, he always felt struck by how beautiful she was. "I've been looking forward to seeing you since I left."

rey rey shook her head, an adoring smile on her lips. "no... no, you always look this handsome," she whispered, dragging her thumb slowly over his lips and scooting closer as he spoke again. she smiled again and nodded her head, laying her hands in his own. "you're pretty much all of my impulse control, i think that's obvious by now... i can't get through one wedding without fighting with someone," she chuckled.

Derek: Derek hummed noncommittally as he puckered his lips just slightly, enough to press a semblance of a kiss to Rey's thumb. His arm wound around her waist, pulling her even closer until he could slip a leg between hers. "There... there was a lot going on. There's been a lot going on," he said, shrugging slightly. "You're stressed out. All that emotion's gotta come out somehow."

rey rey wrapped both of her legs around one of his and nodded in agreement, letting out a heavy sigh. "yeah..." she murmured, dragging a hand through her hair then resting it on top of her head as she closed her eyes. "yeah, i really am..." she'd never really stepped back and glanced at all her problems as a whole; always just focused on one at a time. but the list went on and on, now that she thought about it.

Derek: "We'll just... we'll find a better way for you to deal with it before it gets to that point," he said quietly, taking one of her hands and bringing it up to his mouth to gently kiss her knuckles. "At least there weren't any drink hoses involved this time," he chuckled, then laced their fingers together. "Have you, uh... have you thought about when? A date? For the wedding?"

rey rey smiled bashfully at his joke, holding his hand tightly, but easing up on her grip more and more as she relaxed. talking about the wedding made it even better. "i'm guessing tomorrow's out of the question," she teased, though she'd actually do it. she just wanted to be his wife as soon as possible. "when's the soonest we can do it? because i want to do it the day before that," she laughed softly.

Derek: Derek actually laughed out loud at that, smiling as he rolled onto his back, looking at the ceiling. "Tomorrow is out of the question," he said, "I don't think even Lydia would be able to get everything together in time." He pulled her hand over to play with her fingers. "Usually engagements are around six months long. It takes a lot of planning to put a wedding together..." He knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear, but he felt it needed to be said.

rey rey felt her jaw drop. literally. /six months/? but immediately she froze, remembering the ridicule she faced the last time for trying to rush something. "o-okay," she choked out, trying not to sound as disappointed as she actually felt. she didn't need a big wedding. she didn't care if it was just them two and someone to officiate. she didn't care. she just wanted to be married to him. but she bit the inside of her cheek and rolled over onto her back, though she let him keep her hand. her left hand, ironically enough.

Derek: "I know it's a long time," Derek said, rolling back onto his side when he felt her roll away, still holding onto her hand and playing idly with the ring on her finger. "And I know you don't want to wait. At this point.... at this point I don't really see the point, either. So we could expedite things, I'm sure. I just want everything... to be perfect. To be exactly what we want. I'm only planning on doing this once."

rey rey looked up at him when he rolled back onto his side next to her, releasing her teeth from the inside of her cheek and instead biting her bottom lip gently. a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips before she took a deep inhale then mumbled, "i know you do... but... i've lived my whole life without luxury. fifteen of those twenty years were spent with even less than a normal amount of wealth. i don't care about how many flowers there are or-or what colors the plates will be... all i care about is being your wife." but she shook her head, tugging at the hem of her shirt. "but-but if you want to wait... i can do that."

Derek: "I know you haven't," Derek said gently. It had been a topic of considerable discussion, and it was almost constantly on his mind when it came to caring for Rey, whether it was making her comfortable or buying her things or making sure she ate enough in a day. "So I... you can't blame me for wanting to celebrate us to the greatest extent that anyone in this town has ever seen." He leaned in and kissed her gently, pouring as much love and sincerity into the gesture as he could. "But I know it's important to you. we could shoot for three months?"

rey rey sniffed softly but kissed him back lovingly, placing her hand on his cheek. at the suggestion of three months, she just let out a shaky exhale but shrugged her shoulders and rolled over onto her stomach. "take my dress off...?" she whispered, face burying into the pillow. it was tight and pinchy, as much as she loved it. plus she still wanted that massage.

Derek: He could tell that it still wasn't good enough - unless he actually married her within the month, he doubted anything would be. But he knew that these things took time - they might be able to manage two months, if Derek wanted to pay an exorbitant amount for everything. The food, the decorations, the cake, the venue, the dresses, the suits, the photographer, the music... it would all take time. He quietly worked on the small clasp at the top of Rey's dress, then unzipped it all the way down to her lower back, carefully guiding her arms out of the sleeves before he pulled it down her body and off her legs gingerly.

rey rey couldn't help herself as she curled her toes into the sheets when he unzipped her dress. occasionally his fingers would ghost over her back or thighs and her heart rate would increase. which she knew he'd pick up on. once it was off, she stayed face down, but slowly tilted her head up to look at him, brown eyes full of love and passion. the pendant of her necklace had somehow slipped down the chain so that it now laid on her back in the exact same position as his tattoo. the moonlight reflected off the silver material of it, and it slid down her shoulder blade as she shifted on the sheets. "...how is it done...?"

Derek: Derek hummed quietly when Rey turned to look at him, fingers gently touching the pendant of her necklace where it sat on her back, a delicate mimicry of his own mark there. "How is what done?" he asked quietly, fingers ghosting over her back and the backs of her thighs.

rey rey stared down at the comforter, hands slowly sliding up to clasp lightly above her head, resting on the pillow. like usual. like they loved. as his fingers trailed over her skin, she began panting lightly, toes curling up again. she took another few moments before finally whispering, "how do you turn someone into a werewolf...?"

Derek: Derek's brows furrowed, a little crease appearing between them as he looked at her, hands faltering for a moment before they resumed their path, thumbs rubbing into Rey's shoulders and down her back in looping circles. "Usually it's done with a bite," he said slowly, "but people can be turned by a scratch that goes deep enough, too."

rey rey swallowed thickly and clenched her jaw, eyes slowly falling shut. his touch was irresistibly enchanting. "and you can only be turned by an alpha..." she whispered, quirking a brow then slowly returning it to its usual spot. her words were becoming breathier, more quiet, as his fingers traveled more places around her body. "...can you turn someone...?"

Derek: "Right," Derek said, fingers curling around her sides to knead over her hips, her stomach, inching up towards her ribcage. "Not anymore," he said. "I was able to, once. I turned Erica, Isaac, and Boyd. They were my betas."

rey rey hesitated before rolling over to lay on her back, gently tugging him down to meet her level. she brushed her fingers across his lips before pausing then whispering, "you want me to be safe... to be able to look out for myself..." she moved her hand down to his and dragged it up her body, taking a bit more time at her chest, before resting it on her cheek. "being like you would keep me safe."

Derek: "Of course I do," Derek said quietly, then froze, frowning a little when Rey implied that... that what? She wanted to be turned? "What? No, Rey, it's not... it's /really/ not that simple," he said, sitting up a bit, confused by what she was doing. "It's so easy to lose control when you first shift," he explained, "you could seriously hurt someone. Hurt yourself. There are people, Rey, who /hunt us/. Just because of what we are. I don't want that for you. Ever."

rey rey shook her head, purposefully averting her gaze from his. she knew there were hunters. they were in magnolia. and three of them were her best friends. not like derek knew that. "i-i could protect myself. you've done it so far, why can't i?" she asked shakily, bringing her hands down to rest over her chest. "you-you wouldn't have to worry about hurting me on the full moon. you wouldn't have to panic each time i don't answer my phone when you're at work. i-i could heal, i could fight better."

Derek: "Because I've been doing this all my life," he said desperately, wishing he could remove the thoughts from her head surgically, completely eradicate them so they'd never appear again. "You can protect yourself right now." He rubbed his eyes. "I'd have to worry about /you/ hurting someone on the full moon!" He couldn't argue with the healing or the fighting, but he didn't want to acknowledge that. "I don't know if you'd still be able to use the Force after the shift."

rey "you told me scott became in control when he was around allison. she helped him stay calm," rey whispered, placing a hand on his cheek. "derek, it could work for us... i know it could..." she shook her head and bit her lip, letting out a heavy sigh. "i don't care if i can't use it anymore. i don't care. i don't care if i have to go against alec when he's hun-" uh oh. immediately rey clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes widening. "n-nothing..."

Derek: "That took him a while," he said, "and not everyone's anchor is the same thing." He shook his head lightly as she insisted that it could work. He didn't want this for her. He could do it for her in the first place, and he would refuse to tell her who could. His eyebrows lifted when Rey cut herself off, shaking his head again but this time for an entirely different reason. "I know Alec's a hunter," he said. "I met his sister before I met him, and she told me all about it. He told me that he doesn't hunt anything that doesn't deserve it. Including werewolves."

rey rey let out a deep breath of relief, able to snap back into her normal state of mind. at least she hadn't said dean or sam's name. she sat them both up then climbed into his lap, hair curtaining over her face as she panted heavier now. she didn't need derek's senses to tell that her heart was pounding. she could feel it against her chest. "i'm sorry..." she whispered at the ridiculousness of the whole idea. she wouldn't last a second as a werewolf. she knew that. "i-i'm not in my right mind..."

Derek: Derek sat up, hands on her waist as Rey settled into his lap, his head tipping to the side as he tried to look at her through her hair. He pushed it back behind her ears after a few moments, concern in his expression as he cradled her face. "Are you okay?" he asked, her heart pounding and her breathing coming rapid and shallow. "What's going on?"

rey too much. too much was going on. almost losing derek had just been what set it all off. but one thing... one thing had stuck with her. slowly, she tilted her head up to look into his eyes. "i spoke with lydia..." she whispered, eyebrows raising just slightly, though her fingers found his shirt to play with the material again. "she told me... she told me about your uncle... a-and i can't stop thinking about it..."

Derek: It felt like he'd swallowed a gallon of ice water when Rey said that she'd spoken to Lydia about Peter. Peter, of all people. He doubted Lydia took care to explain the nuances and difficulties of the situation. "What did she tell you?" he asked slowly, hands resting lightly on Rey's hips, as if afraid to touch her, afraid that she'd tell him not to touch her.

rey "she said... she said he controlled her... m-made her bring him back from the dead without her actually wanting to..." rey remembered, staring down at the sheets beneath them and furrowing her eyebrows, exterior softening as his hands rested on her hips. any time he touched her brought her comfort, but right now, she wanted to feel him as much as possible. "and that... she doesn't know where he is..."

Derek: "He did..." Derek said, uncertain as to whether or not Lydia had pointed out that Derek had been on the one to kill him in the first place. He was ready to justify it, to tell Rey that he'd been killing people and had no intention of stopping, but that didn't seem to be her concern. "And... no, we don't know where he is right now... Probably off licking his wounds after his last failed grab at power. But if he ever does find me, find us, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. He's not going to hurt you. I won't let him."

rey rey smiled sorrowfully, her eyes falling shut. "how do you always know what i'm thinking...?" she whispered. it felt selfish, being afraid of peter. because if he came, he'd only be out for derek. but after searching lydia's mind for memories of peter... she hadn't been able to get his vicious actions out of her mind. even now, looking into derek's memories, she saw him getting hit, getting hurt by his uncle, and it made her sick to her stomach to think of that ever happening again. she wouldn't let it. "i-i can fight him, he can't do anything against a lightsaber..."

Derek: "It's not going to come to that," Derek promised, wrapping his arms around her torso and pulling her against his chest, tucking her head under his chin. "It's not. I promise." He cradled the back of her head in one large hand, thumb stroking over her hair. "I'd never let you fight him, okay? He's too... manipulative, too willing to get into people's heads, under their skin. He'd find out all your weaknesses and use them against you, and I'd die before I let that happen."

rey rey let herself be coddled and soothed, resting both her arms against his chest. the air was cold, and she was fully unclothed, but derek's natural body heat kept her feeling warm and safe. as it always did. as he spoke about her weaknesses, she clenched her fists slightly in fear. she knew her main weakness: derek himself. if he was ever to be hurt, she couldn't fight and take that risk. and she was pretty sure it was the same way for him, too. "i-i don't want to talk about it anymore..." she whispered for the second time that night.

Derek: "Okay," Derek agreed easily, ducking his head to hide his face in her neck. He could tell she was scared - he didn't need her senses to know that - and he felt... nervous that he'd never considered the possibility that Peter could find them. Could ruin everything they'd built. "We don't have to." He rubbed his hand up and down her back, from the nape of her neck to the dip of her spine, reveling in the simple pleasure that he could touch her, that she was there... and she wasn't going anywhere.

rey rey nodded, feeling reassured by his gentle, steady tone. either he was good at hiding his emotions (which she knew to be true) or he really wasn't worried about his uncle. not daring to look into his mind again in fear of more memories of peter, rey simply glanced up and into his eyes, not knowing what else to say. so she did the only thing she really wanted to do. her hands slid up to tangle in his hair as she leaned up and kissed him, softly at first.

Derek: He kept her wrapped up in his arms as he kissed her, holding her as closely as possibly as her hands wound through his hair. He kissed her gently, reassuringly - trying to convey as much as possible that she didn't have anything to worry about, that he was going to protect her. He cradled her face in his hands, thumbs gently brushing over her cheeks as their kiss gradually deepened.

rey while he deepened the kiss, rey slowly leaned back more and more until she was laying flat on the bed, him hovering above her. she ran her hands down his back until her fingers found the hem of his shirt, which she tugged up and up until eventually it was off, then tossed it aside. her leg slowly moved to brush up his then back down as she nipped at his bottom lip then kissed him again.

Derek: Derek was reluctant to pull away from her for even a moment, but he sat up enough for her to pull off his shirt before stretching out over her again, resting his weight on one hand. The other he let smooth over her skin, over her stomach and up to her chest, his thumb ghosting circles over her nipple only just long enough to make it hard before his fingers were trailing downwards again.

rey when his fingers found her chest, rey tilted her chin up and gasped hoarsely, letting his lips land on her neck. she took a quick, deep breath then set her legs on either side of his body, though she brought them up so her feet were flat on the bed, toes curling into the sheets. but she brought her hands down to unbutton then slowly push down his pants and boxers at the same time. once they were off, she moved her hands up to clasp above her head, and found his lips again.

Derek: "We are going to have to get up eventually," Derek chided with a laugh, pushing back Rey's hair from her face as she rested on his chest, his fingers brushing up and down her spine. He didn't really want to move, either, but a shower and food were in order. "C'mon," he prompted, squeezing one of her hips gently and rocking his body back and forth in an attempt to get her moving. "Let's go."

rey "nooo..." rey groaned under her breath as derek said they'd have to get up. she turned so her cheek was resting against his chest, rather than burying her entire face in it, and winced silently when he squeezed her hip, one of her most ticklish areas. but she was shocked awake and opened her eyes, a small smile forming on her lips. she was so relaxed after they'd finished making love, and he'd just cuddled her for what felt like hours, though she knew it was only about twenty minutes or so. "fine," she sighed in defeat and moved off his chest, but held her arms up to him once he was standing, and giggled tiredly.

Derek: "Yesssss," Derek groaned right back at her, laughing a little when she didn't do much responding other than to move her face. "C'mon. If we don't get up now, we never will, you know that." He stretched, arms extending over his head and legs flexing and toes curling before he half-rolled, half-climbed off the bed. "Oh my god," he laughed when he saw her summoning him down to pick her up. Despite the complaint he still complied, bending over to let her arms around his neck as he lifted her up to hold her against his front. "You're so spoiled," he muttered as he carried her off to the bathroom, leaning over to start the shower without putting her down, instead pressing her up against the wall and letting his lips find her collarbone, already marked but still enticing.

rey "derek..." rey groaned but giggled when he picked her up, wrapping her arms around his neck. she loved being carried like this, no matter what. it allowed them to still be so close after intimate moments such as the one they just shared. "i know, but you're not gonna stop..." she mumbled against his skin as she closed her eyes again, chuckling softly. they were both sweaty and warm, so the shower would definitely feel good. but when he pressed her back against the wall, she lifted her head up with a quiet gasp, then let her eyes fall shut when his lips found her collarbone. the marks there weren't deep, but she'd need to cover them up with makeup tomorrow, she was sure of it. she winced softly, feeling the pit of her stomach tighten with ecstasy again, and took deep breaths, head falling back gently against the wall. "not again..." she whispered. she didn't know if she had it in her, really.

Derek: Derek hummed noncommittally into her skin when she teased him; he'd never stop spoiling her as long as he lived, he knew that with certainty, and apparently so did she. He couldn't blame her for taking advantage of it, especially when he loved it so much. "Wasn't gonna," he replied just as quietly into the skin of her throat, nose brushing along the softness of it, lips dragging a long line as his stubble scraped over it gently. His hands gripped her thighs, thumbs rubbing into the crease where they met her torso before sliding back to hold her up by her ass. "As much as I wish I could." He found her mouth again and kissed her until they were both out of breath, their skin warm and he could feel a heat low in his belly, that endless desire he always harbored for her. But he let her down, feet lightly stepping to the floor before he held his hand out to help her into the shower.

rey as his thumbs massaged into her skin, rey winced again and bit down on her lip, flexing her feet slightly as they rested against his back. again she breathed steadily until his hands moved to her behind, one of her favorite places where he touched her. she nodded in agreement then kissed him back, holding onto his hair gently, and felt that itching sensation creep up her body once she was on her feet. her legs pressed together tightly and she leaned over just a bit to recover, knowing how easy it was for her to become aroused. but then she took his hand and shuffled into the shower, letting the water cool her down both internally and externally. she stood so her back was pressed to his chest then slowly reached an arm up to loop around his neck, eyes closing and lips parting. "that's better..."

Derek: He could have touched her like this forever, no boundaries or secrets between them; he knew she got overwhelmed quickly, whether it was his hands or his mouth or any other part of him, and there were definitely times he played that to his advantage. But he let her recover once she had her feet on the ground, mouth trying (and failing) to quash a please little smirk behind her back. He sidled in behind her, hands smoothing down her sides and the fronts of her thighs, not intended to be sexual but celebratory, reveling in her and the fact that she was his. "I love you," he said quietly, head bowed to press his lips to her shoulder, light, worshiping. "I love you so much..."

rey a smile formed on her lips as she felt his hands travel down her hips to her thighs, and whispered, "i love you with all my heart..." it wasn't hard to, with how amazingly perfect he was. she still didn't feel like she deserved him, and probably never would. "it hurts less this time," she murmured, opening her eyes to look up at him. the first time had been pretty painful, even with how slow and gentle derek was, since it was her first time ever experiencing anything like that. since then, it'd hurt less and less after each run, and now it was just a slight disturbance. she gathered the washcloth and lathered it up with soap before turning her body to face his then handing it over so he could wash her, as they always did after making love.

Derek: "Good!" Derek replied earnestly, pressing his lips to her cheek and nuzzling at it with his nose after. He wrapped his arms around her middle and squeezed her gently. He'd nearly stopped then and there the first time, when he sensed her discomfort and uncertainty despite taking as much time as she needed. "Think it won't hurt at all soon?" he asked quietly. It was difficult to not feel bad whenever they had sex, feel like, despite what she said, she was uncomfortable or unhappy or they were only doing it because /he/ wanted to. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind as he accepted the washcloth from her, tangling the fingers of one hand with hers as he held her arm out for him to start washing, working his way to her torso and over her chest before going on to the other arm.

rey "yeah, i do," rey smiled hopefully and gave him a nod, leaning up to peck his lips gently. she didn't need to use the force to feel the guilt stirring inside him. and she didn't like it one bit. she /wanted/ to do it, she really did, even through the pain. it was all worth it in the end, and she assumed derek didn't see that side of it. only the painful side. she stepped back just slightly so he could extend her arm to clean it, fingers dancing in his own, then watched his hand as the washcloth dragged from her shoulder to her abdomen and chest, where she had a few marks. she loved them. she watched again as he moved onto her other arm, but watched his face now instead. he was sculpted by gods, she was convinced. everything about him was so perfect. literally every little thing. "i love you..." she piped up quietly, standing on her toes for half a second before giving him a shy smile.

Derek: Derek's mouth twisted on a shy sort of smile when she said those words seemingly out of nowhere, and he ducked his head briefly, looking down at their feet before glancing back up at her. "I love you, too," he said, bringing one slightly soapy hand up to cradle her cheek, looking into her eyes as he said the words. "I can't believe you're going to marry me," he said, huffing out a chuckle as he smiled, all teeth and palpable awe. "I can't believe you're going to be Mrs. Hale." He rolled the words around on his tongue. "Rey Hale. Rey Skywalker-Hale?" He laughed a little, using the back of his hand to brush the washcloth over her stomach and hip.

rey rey laughed happily, nodding her head. she was still in shock, too, even though it had been well over a week. "just hale. i'm your family now, i don't want to be remembered just for my father and uncle and everyone else. i want to be my own person," she whispered, then smiled again. "your wife." she leaned up to peck his lips a few times then let him drag the washcloth over her stomach and waist, though she smiled a little each time his fingers brushed against her soft skin. she'd never get tired of his touch. never ever.

Derek: An easy smile tugged at Derek's lips as he leaned in close to her, pressing their lips together easily, briefly, a few times one right after the other. "It's your name just as much as it's theirs," Derek said, both hands touching her waist as he leaned in close enough to feel her breath on his face, her whisper so close that it felt loud in his ears. If they could stay this close forever, he'd die a happy man. "You are your own person, no matter what your name is." He could feel her smile against his lips as they kissed again, and he sighed contentedly when they parted, pulling her in close and resting his chin atop her head as he rubbed the washcloth over her back, and lower, to her thighs.

rey rey smiled softly and shrugged. "it's really only been my name for a few months... i've been fine being just rey before i knew. just rey..." she whispered when he leaned close to her, biting gently at her bottom lip. suddenly words weren't forming in her mind as easily, with how entrancing his gaze was. she nodded slowly, though, and kissed him back, though this one was soft and delicate. when he pulled her close, she rested her forearms against his chest and closed her eyes, though she frowned when he skipped a very important area. she took his free hand and placed it on her butt with a small giggle. "much better."

Derek: Derek's brows shot up when Rey placed his hand back on her ass, a little taken aback by the brazenness of it - a far cry from the woman who had been so uncomfortable with just being aroused a few months before. "Much better," he agreed, chuckling, and then gently passed the washcloth over her skin, humming into her neck as he pressed his face there, reveling in how comfortable it was being this close, enjoying the way they could touch each other so easily.

rey rey smiled slowly and wrinkled her nose just a bit before moving her hand up to the nape of his neck when he ducked his face into her skin, letting her eyes fall shut. slowly, her fingers ran through his hair, gently scratching his scalp in a soothing way as they went along. she remembered him saying long ago how much he loved when she did that. she turned her head just enough to press a gentle kiss to the side of his own, then rested her cheek against his hair and let out a soft sigh.

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

[dont-break-hearts]

i was tagged by @ineverhadmyinternetphase and this seemed like fun man

Rules:

1. Always post the rules. 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people. (Or however many you want)

1. What’s the most amount of books you can lift at once?

like regular, fiction, 2/300 page books? idk maybe like 12-15? depends how many fit in my armspan

2. What’s your favourite thing in the room you’re in right now?

probably my bunch of sketchbooks

3. What’s your favourite pairing that you’ve ever shipped and why?

i dont think i ship many pairings tbh but probs phan? just bc the real relationship is so pure  

4. What was the last thing that you made by hand?

either a lil knitting caravan or a knitted pencil case i can’t remember what i finished last

5. Describe your favourite photograph (of yourself or other people or a place etc.)

honestly any photo of/from dodie clark

6. What would your unicorn horn be made out of? (For context, just took a buzzfeed quiz and mine was made out of gummy candy)

(i googled the quiz just bc idk man what is there to choose from) black crystal (how edgy)

7. How long have you been aware of the internet/fandoms?

the internet has been a thing since i was about 7? (10 years ago) but i didnt have access to it for like at least another year and fandoms probably only since i joined tumblr which was i think 4 years ago?

8. If you can’t reach something on the top shelf of a supermarket, what do you do?

try to stand on the lower shelves or streeetch reaaalll lonnnggg and if i ccant do it then i give up bc no way am i going to seek out human interaction amirite

9. Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you get one?

i don’t but i probably would but dont ask me what bc it changes every couple months but probably something smol and on my hand/wrist area

10. What’s your favourite genre of fic? Slow burn, fluff, angst, etc.?

i like slow burns but i have this habit of starting like 30k fics and deciding i can read this before i sleep, right? when its about 2 am

11. What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you?

wow man idk a lot of the birthday presents from my bf are like the sweetest

my questions:

i have no idea wow 

either these, or the ones julia answered? im a tad fried from exam prep

my tagged peeps:

@artsyfartsynerdbird @awkward-joke @zx-mb-ie @sniper-vs-spy @rlly-indecisive @paintmyspirit-opal @samthepsychic @phanbears

[cowardlytrait]

☀ 100 questions no one really asks ☀

i was tagged by @batsysims , thank you ! 😊

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

i sleep with it closed !! it’s mainly so one of my younger sisters doesn’t go in there tbh 

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i’ve never actually stayed at a hotel so no djghdfgbd

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? out?? whenever i do sleep with a sheet on my bed, because i tend to not remake my bed so i generally sleep without a sheet for a while which i know isnt good for you so im trying to break that :/ 

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? i considered it once, bc i was walking to my friends place on new years eve and i saw a street sign that fell in a storm , and i almost took it.. except i still had 10 more mins until i got to her house , and i didnt want to have the possibility of getting caught . also ?? idk how  i wouldve brought it home on the bus 

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?  y e! but i dont use them enough ngl 

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? nah, but my mom does that v often . and i often have a bunch of coupon reciepts / punch cards from different places that i always forget about 

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? i have a few !! primarily on my arms and legs, and a few on my face,, i never really had many until last year 

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? yes?? im p bad at smiling for photos tho ngl 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when someone asks me to do something, and then i say sure.. and then they repeat it like 2 mins later and im like.. fa m, now i dont wanna 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? sometimes ! a lot of the time i end up focusing on not stepping on cracks tho?? idk it’s a weird habit i started sometime last year that im trying not to do 

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? nah

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? nah 

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? sometimes yeah ! i tend to if im dancing with one of my siblings tho , like just grabbing their hands and making them dance with me 

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yupyupyupyup :/

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? 0 x 0 = 0 

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? a single? i dk it’s small and sucks ng l 

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? u  h h h  h h h  , probably are we there yet?  - ingrid michaelson 

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yupyup! ! ! 

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? yup ! voltron is actually currently one of my favorite shows , but i also watch su and several other cartoons ! i also watch anime when i feel like it but not as often as i used to 

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? minions 

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? idek ?? defos not anywhere in this town that’s fo sure 

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? depends ! sometimes water, sometimes milk, sometimes juice. but generally i try to avoid drinking anything while eating and have a drink afterwards

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? i usually dont dip them in anything , but depending on my mood: mayo or ketchup 

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? pizza ! 

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? u h h , titan ae , the fifth element, any barbie movies and more tbh 

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? i cant remember? i probably kissed my brother on the forehead but idk 

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? nope

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? i wrote a letter in my friends’ birthday cards. 

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? nope : /

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? djhsd i dont even have my G2 yet and cant even drive so o o 

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? nope 

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? meat, pickles, and cheese 

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? toast + chocolate milk 

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? 11 or 12 (altho my sleeping schedule has been fucked for the past week) 

37. ARE YOU LAZY? lmao yeah 

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was once a goth fairy, a dead nerd and a lady bug ! those are the ones i remember off the top of my head fgjfdgd 

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? tiger ! 

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? i can only speak english, but i have a vague understanding of french 

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? wtf are lincoln logs  update: i’ve never played with lincoln logs in my life so legos 

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? very

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? ?? idk 

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? when i was younger and my mom would ,yup 

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? very ! 

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? yup ! often when me and 3 of my friends hand out we will drive around and listen to musicals + other music ! 

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? if im listening to music yuppers ! 

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? same as 47 ^ 

50. EVER USED A GUN? nope

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? last se

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? sometimes, but i still really enjoy them so !! 

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? oh boi yeah, esp because of all the kids in my house + my mom’s family, and this year i’ll be dog sitting around that time so this year is gonna be f u n 

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? not authentic ones, but yeah ! altho im allergic to potatoes so i dont eat them v much at all anymore 

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i dont like pie actually :/

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? i always wanted to be a teacher ! since like grade 3, but now i want to be a graphic designer , but tbh being a history teacher would be fun as well ! 

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? yeah i do 

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time 

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? nah :/  i probs should lmao 

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nope 

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? nah 

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? justin bieber in grade 8 i think ?? 

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart bc there’s no more targets in canada.. otherwise, target

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? niether 

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos... idk what fritos are lmao 

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? neither tbh 

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? no 

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? i wanted to but never did “/

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? idk ?? 

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? i dont think so ? 

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? i think i was in one once?? but i dont remember it ?? did i win who knows

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? oh yeah boi 

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nope,  but my dad owns a lot !  

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? my dad does ! 

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? nah, but my mom does ! 

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i think so? ? 

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? real friends, hanson, set it off and more tbh 

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? same as 63

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!! !! ! ! ! ! !

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies !! 

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? nah lmao im shit 

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yup

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? depends ! im p patient with kids, but have no patience when it comes to being late or waiting on someone. 

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? band probs

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? i once won a 4ft cat in the hat from my local short stop when i was 4 

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nah  89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? neither 

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i learned how to crochet once?? but i forgot it so neither lmao 

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? livingroom or bedroom 

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? sort off? ?

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? no

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? uh  h h  m  , currently crushing on someone actually lmao 

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? no?? 

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nope 

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? yup ! ! 

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? pink !! ! ! ! !  !

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? sort off?? i miss my old best friend and i feel sort of disconnected rn with everyone

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? uhhh , idk who’s done this so i guess @geekmoodlet @maimouth @applezingsims @simprising @shook-sims if you’ve already done it then just ignore this ! ! ! 😝

[ashtenstitches]

answer all the questions 😜

You literally asked for it 😤

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

- uh you have a bf????

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

- I get to sleep in every day

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

- this is a statement with a question mark at the end?

4: Do you have siblings?

- sure do. got 2

5: How many kids do you want?

- in a perfect world probs 2

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

- this girl I went on a date with who is happily with someone else!

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

- lol nope! We were the same height

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

- lol yeah! She’s my friend now!

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

- my friend Morgan 🦋💖

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

- lol probably! It was in a parking lot!

11: When’s your birthday?

- February 16th 💖

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

- lol yes! It was after a like 4 hour date 😊

13: What kind of phone do you have?

- iPhone uh 7 plus I think

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

- joggers 🤔

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

- oh hell yeah

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

- sleeping surprisingly

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

- write a paper. im much better at that

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

- not anymore!! Lol

19: Last night you felt…?

- a lil sad!!

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

- financial freedom. Hawaii life.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

- lol yep

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

- uh probably like 8 idk

23: Are you a morning or night person?

- I love mornings but hate waking up early

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

- working out 😂

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

- yes

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

- text her “unless you got a voice changer I’m not answering” 😂

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

- nope!

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

- nope! Lol

29: How many months until your birthday?

- one!

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

- chocolate 😊

31: Did you like this past summer?

- no. It was hot as hell

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

- crocheting!

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

- lol probably be immature and sing that one thing about sitting in a tree kissing

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

- “idk I have to pee first”

35: Your mood summed into one work?

- the spelling in this is terrible. “Happy”

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

- thinking of cooking some tater tots

37: What are your initials?

- aty

38: Are you a happy person?

- I am trying to be

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

- yes!

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

- Hawaii

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

-nope!

42: What did you do yesterday?

- I was home, so I crocheted, took some photos, and worked out!

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

- working, talking to a plumber

44: How late did you stay up last night?

- only until like 1:30 I think

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

- absolutely

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

- no I love stupid stuff

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

- yeah!

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

- lol probably not

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

- one lol I was in a committed relationship then

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

- no way!!

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

- no my natural hair color is green

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

- absolutely not

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

- I cried my eyes out so nah 😂

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

- always

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

- well I have 2, and my mom and dad have one so

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

- stomach

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

- Hawaii or Monterey

58: What would you change about your life right now?

- stable income, traveling

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

- oh yeah

60: Are you on the phone?

- I’m using my phone to answer these

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

- forward

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

- the money. I’ll buy a new car with that lmao

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

- lol yes I was also high

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

- oh yeah

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

- lol yeah

66: Are you the type of person who liks to be out or at home?

- I like a happy medium

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

- sadly yes

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

- yes

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

- probs

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

- considering I’m almost 25.......

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

- yes

72: What’s your favorite color?

- purple or blue

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

- lol oh yes

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

- too many times

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

- not really

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

- yes!!!!!!

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

- no

78: Does anyone call you babe?

- nope

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

- 1

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

- I’m too sensitive for a one night stand 🥺

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

- gray

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

- yes

[pansexualhero]

South Africa Day 2

In the morning I stirred at 5am because all the lights were left on, and nana was walking around coughing and just doing things. I tried to just be on my phone and fall asleep again and Nana was like please help me with the kindle. I was asleep before her and after her. I swear she doesnt sleep - like a Gremlin Vampire. The pottering around was very irritating. 

Anyway, wake again at 7. Had breakfast. Breakfast was good, had scrambled eggs with baked beans and mushroom on toast.  Nana was irritating, talked to another couple for a very long time at breakfast, bragged about me and mostly daniel and noah. Repeated things alot, cut off the other old couple when they tried to talk. 

Got dressed, the driver was meant to get us at 10. She thought it was meant to be at 7 30. We got down at 9 30 and started our tour. We went to Cable Mountain. THe tour guide was agreat, a nice break from being solely around my grandma. She was cool, used to be the absailing person up top Cable mountain and did hikes at Lions head almost every day. 

Cable mountain was beautiful. The actal cable ride was so odd, the floor rotated giving us a 360 view.  Up top, we got a wheelchair for nana as, on the way to the cable ride - a short walk she needed a break and cable mountain is rocky. Up top there were not many wheelchair accessible places. so we went to those places first, i took a bunch of selfies and pictures. I looked cute despite being siper hot. The lovely tour guide told me to go for a walk around. I saw this adorable little brown creature. Took a picture of him too. the walk was great, I had music playing and the view was incredible. I got a moment break from Nana.

We got back down eventually, back inthe car. we drove around for 30 minutes exploring the city. Nana interrupted the tour guides so many times and told her about sydney instead of listening to what she paid for and was just disrespectful in an old person way. but surely she didnt need to talk about sydney that much. why go to south africa if youre just gonna think about sydney. 

Next we went to the noon gun. Which is a cannon that fires every day except sunday and public holidays in south africa. it was awesome. The tour guide to cover my ears and open my mouth. I covered one ear and took a picture with the other hand and opened my mouth. It felt like a punch to the chest. It was so loud and the force was to strong. It was incredible. Nana almost missed it because she spent like 5 minutes fumbling with her hearing aids. Did i mention to get nana on and off the van i had to physically lift her? lots of touching. yick. I hate all the touching nana is doing. She keeps holding my hand and touching me. 

Next we went back on the city tour, which was rushed to get the noon cannon. was cool, minorly interesting. I dont think knowing the history of cities is my jam, as bad as that sounds. but i wont retain any of that information.  Then we went to a diamond shop. it was really dull. I hated it. We can’t do some of the cooler things because it involves walking or uneven surfaces and such.  

We got back and i was getting really agitated because nana was getting just so so much for me.  I really have little tolerance for her and her telling me how lucky iam and how great she is. So i got back and had a whine to bobby. He told me to put my big girl pants on and just say im going out for a walk. 

I did that and managed to get some RANS. dope. free money. 

I walked to the coast bit near the hotel. I went to the art market, I had brief glimpses in but not stoked. I asked bobby is he wanted me to get him anything. He said a live snake and i was like probs not gonna happen. at that very moment i ofund a live snake museum thing. I had to pay entry. i think it was $2.50 entry?  either that or 25. regardless it was good. that snakes were beautiful and big and so slithery. it was lovely. 

 Then i went to the food market. I wanted everything but I have dinner tonight so not going to get too full. So I bought a nice cold beer - pale ale. Really good. I bought this like weird jerky thing of some like deer animal.  it was great. ate the whole bit i ate with my beer and called aaron. He was cute and stoned.

Then i sat to listen to a busker who had a lovely voice but i noticed DOGS. anyway theres this thing where dogs are kinda just displayed in the town centre to get adopted. It was really hot and the dogs were not happy. just sleeping sadly. it was sad to see but i got to pat some and that made me feel a bit better.

Started walking back and got a call from nana being like you ok? yep. but was walking back anyway so continued doing that. Now I write after being pestered alot about inconsequential details about nanas phone calls, eating habits, drinking tea. etc. shes really boring.  

Anyway i try and be positive, but its really hard. right now i sit in the hotel room and she is less than a metre from me, coughing hard and definitely coughing up blood. its very gross. shes just like this everpresent force of annoyance. 

I will probably eat then go for a swim after a bit. its still like 30 degrees so the pool will be lovely later. 

overall day rating 5/10. 

oh also, someone died right next to my old house and jamie commented that finally someone had killed me. Which like, we havent talked for over a year mate. we dont like each other. dont try and make jokes. to me I received that message as ill intent. A solid fuck you. Youre a cruel dickhead. And i wish nothing but the worst for your life. Its just expecially cruel because he didnt know I moved houses, and i hadnt been active on social media so fuck it could have been me. dick. Thanks bella for standing up for me. I value her. Everyone else who stayed quiet can shove it.  But yeah i like to think im calm but nana really takes it out of me. i am rage. i just dont want to talk or be bothered, i dont want conversation. i just want quiet.