primeaccounting

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Hi dear I hope you're doing well and I was hoping if you can do the whole greaser gang with a s/o that's like Fiona Gallagher from the show shameless? Like she's taking care of her six siblings and her dad who's usually at the bar or passed out somewhere. Their mother ran out and is mentally ill so their s/o is left to be her siblings mother/father/ and nurse fill free to ignore if you want to do and I hope you have a good day!

Summary: The Outsider x Fiona Gallagher!Reader Warnings:mentions of absent mother, drinking, very toxic adult behavior, dysfunctional family Author's Note: gonna be busy tmrw and weekend again, ill try and post 1 fic per day but no promises.

PONYBOY CURTIS

Ponyboy doesn’t really live in a dysfunctional family, yes his home life is tough but Darry loves him and tries his best and pony knows that

However, pony cant mentally put himself in Darry’s shoes of having no-one to lean on and having to take care of many siblings

When he first met you, he was absolutely smitten. And when you told him of your problems, he thought you were the toughest chick in town

He often asks Darry what to do to take a couple of burdens off your shoulder. He applies it to you and also at home, you’ve made him a better person.

JOHNNY CADE

Has a dysfunctional family and can understand, to an extent..he still gets fed sometimes and doesn’t have to work to stay in his home

But he doesn’t have a hard time adjusting to you.

He’s very open and loves your siblings, so he tries to take them out as many times as possible to give you some rest.

He genuinely doesnt understand how your parents could have left you doing all this by yourself when you’re such a perfect girl.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Soda admires you like you’re a work of art. 

He takes everything into consideration, for example, if he wants to take you on a date he’ll invite some of the gang members to hang out with your siblings and keep them away

Never asks you for anything, not to rant, vent or anything. He feels as if his problems could never measure up to yours so his whole world revolves around you.

Tries to spend as much of his money as possible to get you nice things and spoil you.

STEVE RANDLE

Steve understands how tough it is for you mentally. He’ll often stop by your place with something for you, like a box of chocolates or something. 

Whenever he’s over, he makes an effort to get to know and play with your siblings, he even was going to introduce himself to your dad. You convinced him it was a bad idea so he didnt.

He makes it known that you can tell him anything, literally anything, and he’d listen. He also wants you to know that you can call him anytime and he’d come for you.

Reassures you that he won’t ever leave you, that you’re special and he’s madly in love with you.

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

Two-Bit has some kid experience so he tries his hardest to keep your siblings company and even brings his sisters for ‘playdates’

Really enjoys spending time with you and would even do the chores around the house with you to keep talking with you.

He’s not very good at comforting people and he tries to make up for it by using his humor. You get where he’s coming from and it often helps a lot actually.

Tries his best to look nice for you when he comes over, he wants you to know he’s not a washed up nobody like your parents and wants to be a rolemodel to your siblings.

DARRY CURTIS

Often tells you that you’re perfect and that your siblings will grow so much better with you as their ‘parent’. He once made you cry because of what he said and he just held you in his arms while you sobbed.

He can sort of relate to what you’re going through but his is not as extreme as yours. 

Whenever he can he drops by to help you. Date night consists of making dinner for your siblings, washing the dishes and having a late night dinner together after you put your siblings to bed.

He knows you'd make a perfect wife since he’s old enough to marry, just waiting on the right time to pop the question.

DALLAS WINSTON

Dallas is insensitive and rude to you. He knows what you’re going through, he just doesn’t care.

However, once you caught him putting on a bandaid for your younger brother. He wasn’t kind about it, saying things like “can’t you do this yourself?” but he still did it.

He knows you saw it and thinks that hanging around your house and helping you with chores and siblings will keep you quiet about it

He doesn’t like kids, but he tolerates them for his reputation, and because you’re growing on him.

[catharticmoonshine]

quaritch with a breeding kink! who always has a hand cupped over your lower belly, right where your womb is, when the two of you are together. bonus points if he knows that you're still pumped full with his spent after your latest session, the evidence of your shared passion lying beneath his big palm.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who loves to gently prod at your cervix with his fingertips while he gets you ready to take his cock, two of his thick fingers working you open slowly. he tells you all about it, too. "y'feel that, sugar? mhm, my cum's g'nna be right in there in a second" he chuckles when your slick, gummy walls tighten around his digits at his lewd words, "y'like the sound of that, do ya, sweet girl?"

quaritch with a breeding kink! who talks absolute filth. it doesnt matter if you're on birth control while the two of you have sex, he's just so good with his words that he'll have you actually convinced he'll knock you up. Not that you'd mind, the only thing you can focus on in the heat of the moment is how stuffed you feel with his leaking tip pressed to your cervix. You'll happily comply if he tells you to beg for him to cum inside. (not that he'd ever willingly pull out, but that's besides the point) he'll have you mindlessly babbling on about how much you need him to fill you up with his load, how much of a good girl you've been for him, how much you want him to just put a baby in you already, all while he grins down at you with condescending satisfaction written over his handsome face.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who, after telling you to beg for him to breed your pretty, swollen pussy, goes on to shame you for being oh so desperate. He'll call you his dirty, needy cumslut, telling you how desperate you must be to beg your colonel, a man twice your age, for his babies. He's mean with it but it only makes you impossibly wetter around his cock, so maybe you really are just a needy whore for him after all

quaritch with a breeding kink! who praises you, after getting you all teary-eyed and shy form his degrading words, and tells you how pretty you'd look pregnant with his child. He paws at your breasts while talking about how he can't wait to see them heavy with sweet milk. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll take real good care of ya when you're pregnant with my kid. y'wont have to lift a finger, couldn't risk you gettin' hurt, darlin'"

quaritch with a breeding kink! who pushes his cock in so deep you're convinced he's in your throat when he cums, shooting rope after rope of thick, hot cum into your awaiting womb.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who loves creampies.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who also loves to eat you out after cumming inside to clean you up (and to get you ready for the next round because you better believe he's getting hard all over again at the taste of your mixed juices)

[the-s1lly-corner]

Angel, Husk, Alastor, and Pentious x kind!sinner reader

Prize 2/5 for @coldsushisworld !

Notes: they knew reader before they died, making it all the more shocking that they ended up in hell

ANGEL DUST

A mixture of shocked and angry on your behalf. He had overheard from charlie and Lucifer that heaven was strict, and you being here in hell seems to serve as proof. Similar to Husk, Angel makes sure that you dont get dragged into any nasty business. Asides from that, he shows you the ropes of how things work; around the pride ring as well as at the hotel. He confides in you about what's going on in his personal life, though it's not often. He knows you won't judge him for anything, but opening up is still tough. He firmly believes you can be redeemed, if redemption is possible.. after all none of the characters in Hell seem to know what happened to Pentious... theres mixed feelings there, on one hand he wants you to get access to a better place but on the other hes going to miss you. Its selfish, and in a way he starts to pregame the grieving if that makes sense...

HUSK

It deepens his lack of optimism about.. everything really. Out of all the people he knew in his life, you deserved to ascend more than them all. The fact that you're here feels like a punch to the gut. Husk surrounded himself with a lot of people in his life, and in death as well; his belief that the universe isnt fair is cemented. Even still it's nice having a familiar face wandering around. He keeps you filled in on what's going on at the hotel, and hea very adamant that you keep away from sinister characters like Alastor. He doesn't want you to be dragged down into anything... terrible..

ALASTOR

Intruigied but vaguely amused. He already believes that sinners cannot be redeemed so hes not betting much on your redemption. It's nothing against you of course, its just his beliefs in general. When he has the time he does make sure to catch up with you, even jokingly asking if you've gotten meaner since you've died. Conquered any territory during a turf war? Yet any contracts? You still have ownership of your soul, right? Hes fairly sweet and affectionate with you, similarly to how he acts with Mimzy and Rosie. He doesnt have much time to spend with you, however..but anytime there is, you're both left with a good time! Being friends with the radio demon does have its perks, especially when you're too good natured to fight anyone...

SIR PENTIOUS

Confused, mostly. He is happy that you're here, because that means he has a friend down here in Hell. But hes also a little mad at the universe for condemning you. He has a reaction similar to Husk, actually. Even when he gets over the initial shock hes still a little sour about your situation, though its quickly put to the side when you propose hanging out with him.. oh my god please spend time with him he hardly ever gets the excuse to be friends- "besties" as people say nowadays- with other people. Hes lonely and it really shows in your early interactions after reuniting. If this is prior to him joining the hotel he tries to rope you into the turf wars, insisting that power and control is the way to go here in Hell. He promises to share with you, though he never... gets any influence...

[stardewstardropthoughts]

may i request trying to conceive with the bachelors? like it’s been decided that you want to start trying for a baby and maybe it doesnt happen right away?

maybe it can get a little nsfw 🙈

I’m so sorry these are major nsfw I got a little caught up 😂 that being said MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT, smuts below the line 💜

Trying to conceive with the bachelors

Harvey:

He knows it’s probably gonna take more then one try to get pregnant, usually it can take up to a year for couples to fall pregnant with Their first baby

But that doesn’t make each month with a negative test any easier on either of you

It’s been four months of trying to no avail, each time your period comes right on time

Of course he’s still very encouraging about it all, he doesn’t want disappointment to overshadow your lives

“That’s alright sweetheart, we can try again”

Researchers different positions in bed to make it more likely to conceive

“Fuck baby, just like that”

Pounding into you with your knees on his shoulders leaning over you, cock as deep as he can get. Full mating press when he cums inside you

“Good girl, take it so well”

Keeps you plugged up for a bit after, when he pulls out you keep your legs up against a wall

Finally by the fifth month of trying you get your positive test

And a boat load of nausea

Sam:

He’s so excited at the idea of having his own family with you that he practically jumps your bones the moment you bring it up

Bends you over the nearest couch, flipping your skirt up and moving your panties to the side before plunging his cock into your wet cunt

“Fuck baby, want me to fill you up? Make you a mommy?”

Reaches around to rub circles on your clit while he pounds into you

“Shit baby, gonna cum, gonna fuckin fill you with my cum, make you all round with my kid”

Keeps his hips flush to yours for a good moment after he cums

It takes a total of around seven months to actually get pregnant

He was pounding you into the mattress pretty much nightly for those seven months

Shane:

He was both excited and nervous to start trying for a baby

On the one hand, hitting it raw? Absolutely, and he does want children

On the other hand, he’s nervous on how good of a dad he’ll be, but you assure him you’ll both do great so you agree to start trying

He’s slamming his hips into yours from behind, hands griping your hips harshly pulling you back to meet every thrust

“Fuck baby, take it like such a good little slut, you want my cum? Want me to breed this slutty little pussy? Fucking beg for it”

Moves one of his hands to your hair to pull so your backs into a harsher arch and your heads not buried in the pillows

“Please..f-fuck please give me your cum”

He knows you can beg better then that but he’s feeling generous tonight

Slams his hips as deep as he can get inside you, leaning down to bite your shoulder when he cums

It only takes about six months to get pregnant, six delightful months of getting railed into the mattress, on the dining room table, the couch, the shower

You name it, you’ve been fucked on or in it

Elliott:

He’s also very excited to start a family with you, your the love of his life of course he wants to you to carry his children

He’s got you on your back in bed, his hips slowly thrusting in and out of you at a sweet slow pace

One hand holding yours, the other brushing your hair back sweetly

“Your going to look absolutely beautiful, all full and round with our child my love”

Does not hold back his moans or gasps

When he cums he’ll have you cock warm him while cuddling after so his cum stays deep within you

It takes almost the full year but he’s never lost hope that you’d have your little family

And he can’t say he’s complaining about all the nights spent tangled in each others limbs either

Alex:

He’s also nervous about kids, he wants them but he never had the best example for parents, he is comforted that he’d have you by his side though

He’s got you on his workout bench on your hands and knees, working his hips against you in quick thrusts while panting into your neck

“Fuck babe, you feel so fucking good”

Starts leaving hickeys on your necks while he fucks you

One hand playing with your clit, the other hand gently pinching your nipple

“Shit, gonna look so fucking perfect, have these tits full of milk”

Cums inside you with a long groan against your neck

Your getting fucked two or three times a day for like eight months until you finally get that positive test

Mans got stamina for days, how could he not with all that lifting and working out

Sebastian:

Very excited to ditch condoms but let’s be real, y’all were probably only using the pull out method anyway

It takes a surprisingly short four months to get pregnant

Very surprised you never got pregnant accidentally at some point

Your riding his cock cowgirl style while he guides your hips up and down

Thrusts his hips up to meet yours when you sink down

“Shit sweetheart, gonna make you all mine, gonna make sure everyone knows it’s my kid your carrying”

Possessive just a little bit in bed

Hands leaving your hips to play with your tits while you grind down on him

He decides to flip you over to take control and starts pounding into you quickly, legs tossed over his shoulders

“Fuck, gonna paint this cunt with my cum baby, gonna fucking stuff you full”

Whines when he cums inside you, it’s the hottest whine you’ve ever heard

[stuffyflowers]

follow up to the bad driving post from yesterday. explanations under cut also feel free to argue with me lol

So basically top left = characters who drive badly but not in a way that will cause a crash, top right = characters who are actually all things considered good at driving, bottom left = characters who should not be behind the wheel ever, bottom right = characters who are good drivers in theory/most of the time, but certain factors can make them become car crash material.

Dalv: In my mind, Dalv is the most cautious and safe driver ever, to the point where he loops back around to being a shit driver. You do not want to get stuck in a lane behind this guy he will not go even CLOSE to the speed limit. He will probably let you through when he has right of way. etc etc. Ig on the bright side he doesnt get into enough situations where a car crash could really occur? yay?

El Bailador: Kind of guy who drives windows down music blaring probably speeding slightly at all times but somehow has never had anything bad happen to him. he is being protected by higher powers because he is sooooooo nice and cool :)

Ace: Ridicules all his friends for being bad drivers then actually gets behind the wheel and he sucks almost as bad. Yk, given how his whole thing in the Wild East is facepalming at the five's antics while arguably being worse than a lot of them in that regard. Why are you encouraging a child to gamble. Why are you tormenting blackjack with mooch. Whats his problem

Edward: Okay I didnt really know where to put Ed.. Hes in a weird situation where,, i think his biggest problem would be finding a car thats actually suited to him. Like how he wants to play the guitar but his hands are too big to actually play any of the ones they have. After that though, I think he'd be pretty good, at least decent! He does have some anger issues to deal with (beat up blembino that one time lol) that could cause problems but hes working on it :)

Moray: Pretty self explanatory. The most normal feisty five member. Probably their designated driver 90% of the time. The only reason theyre not completely top is bc their one weakness is whilst they ARE the voice of reason, they do ultimately go along w the group most of the time even if they feel whats happening is wrong. Maybe picks up on the five's bad habits a bit? Overall still a trustworthy pick for driver i think.

Flowey: Ok.do not take this too seriously..............Ik he doesnt have feet for th pedals but consider. Its funny. He can use his vines trust me (also even if he cant physically drive i feel like he'd have a really good understanding of driving. guy who has read every book is bound to have useless knowledge on topics that arent at all relevant to him. and you cant crash the car if youre not driving i guess!!!!!!!!!! but also. funny.)

Ceroba: Similar case as Ed. Actually good at driving but holy fuck the road rage. I feel she'd be worse at responding to it than him bc she has so little self respect. very "I will kill us both😳" attitude abt tailgating and shit like that. Usually better at keeping it in when shes driving with someone else.

Martlet: Maybe she should be furthest down bc she is the only one to canonically crash a vehicle…, Idk I feel like she’d be sliiiightly better w a car where her focus has to be constantly checked, she cant get distracted while filling in questionnaires with clover if she’s driving. That being said she is still. Yeah.

Mooch: similar to mart. Just cannot see her being a good driver. Sorry girl </3

Starlo: starlo.

Axis: faceplanted right in the center bc hes a wild card to me. Would he have insufferable road rage? Would he actually be pretty chill and responsible? Can he even drive if his foot is a singular wheel? Who knows.

[glitteryapricotranchbiscuit]

genshin fantasies .. first time with virgin dainsleif and he doesnt realize how pent up hes been over the past 500 years until hes cum inside once and still feels so desperate to unload more inside the reader 😵‍💫

♡ Pent up Virgin Dainsleif needing you ♡

!● warnings: gn!reader, grinding, sub!dain (switching sides later on), handjob, messy in the end, very smut, NSFW🔞 no minors or I’ll eat u alive

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

note: damn, i love this, breeding goes brrrrr (also sorry that it took so long bby)

“This… uhm, why do you have to sit on my lap again, (y/n)?”, Dainsleif whispered, avoiding your eye contact since you kinda pushed yourself on top of his lap. There was no reason for him to be quiet around your new apartment in Mondstadt but he still did it. Showing to you how awkward this is for him. You could feel that his whole body froze as soon as you made yourself comfortable around his lap. His face now turned slowly red. “Dain… see, I did not know that you would visit me today. You did not answer my letters so I thought you had no time to help me out. There was no time for me to clean…”, you pouted and pressed your body on his, getting a little jump out of him. His head is spinning with unspoken thoughts of you currently.

In fact, you have had a new apartment since you moved to Mondstadt one week ago but there was no time for you to actually get all your stuff out of the boxes. Once Dainsleif noticed your letter he made his way to you. Now in the middle of the night, you both were sitting on the couch which was filled with random stuff you did not have time to sort out. He avoided replying to your speech, so you tap on his nose. “You look like you need this, right?”, you said. It was pretty obvious now. Dainsleif was pent up with all the stress he was dealing with, so you have to make him feel better tonight. Maybe he would stay even for breakfast, who knows? You pushed him onto the couch, so he could lean against the couch pillow, making his body react stiff. Of course, you couldn’t stop smirking seeing him like this. You were facing him and caressing his face, enjoying how beautiful in pain he was, not to jump on you right away and do naughty things with you. 

“I…I know what you are thinking… stop that.”, he said but there was no attempt by him to get rid of you. He wanted this as badly as you needed it. So, your hands made their way down to caress his waist while they went under his shirt. “Oh~ if you know *that* well what I want…” You leaned near his ear and whispered. “Why can’t you stop me then? Or do you like it?” 

Jackpot.

His whole body shivered when he was only concentrating on your sweet voice. Closing his eyes shut, trying not to moan out. Then you suddenly started to move your hips and grind on Dainsleif’s tight. He was frozen like a stone so you had to start acting first. Even if he couldn't get anything out of him, a faint moan came out of his mouth, after your hands stopped at his hardened nippels. You chuckle a little bit before giving him kisses on the neck, grinding yourself faster on him. “F-fuck… don’t stop, please”, he demanded while he grabbed your hips to dig his nails into your flesh. He started to warm up to your liking. But you still had to do the work which wasn’t a problem at all. You were pretty horny too. 

“Mhm, Dainsleif… you are so pretty…”, you said after licking his neck up to his mouth. Giving him little kisses on his mouth, not fully pressing your lips on his, his hands help you to speed up against his tights. “You want more?”, you asked provocatively. He nodded shyly while his eyes begged desperately for more. You couldn’t deny this so you squeezed his cheeks a little bit, not too harsh, so you could stuff your tongue inside his mouth. It wasn’t a battle for dominance because after your tongue melted into each other, Dainsleif literally lost himself in the kiss. Moaning into your mouth while your hip movement started to slow down. 

His eyes were locked to yours while the kiss was not slowing down at all. It was clear for you, that he begged for more touch. Your hands were resting on his hardened nipples but did not pinched him at all. With a sudden push towards your hips, you could feel his pulsing bulge inside his pants. It was painfully begging to be free. He needs your touch so badly. And with the ongoing kiss, Dainsleif got warmer and hotter, so he grabbed your hands and rested them on his bulge. Moaning into the kiss, his eyes clearly screaming to help him release. You let go of his kiss with a deep sigh, taking in the hot air around you both, you smiled brightly. “Hehe, eager are we?~”, you teased him. 

“Oh, shut up and touch me already”, he said with a red face, closing his eyes, pressing his lower body parts against your hands further. You did not waste much more time and zipped his pants open, freeing his pulsing dick. The cold air makes him moan out accidently, making you shiver. Seeing him like this was the best and with no more wasting time, you let him guide your hands. His big but graceful hands wrapping your own to ensheath his dick. While you let him guide your hands, you watched his facial expressions. He made the slutiest face you have ever seen him doing, it was as if he was a different man.

His hands now start to go slowly up and down, letting the pre-cum smear on the rest of his dick, making the jerking motion easier to go faster. Dainsleif’s mouth is a little bit apart, letting small and quiet moans out. Before you could react he sped up and leaned against your neck, feeling his dick pulsing. “(y/n)...”, he started repeating your name near your ear, giving you exciting creeps all over your arms and legs.

“Y-you close?”, you asked while kissing his neck. He nods, noticing how you pushed his hands so you could give him a proper handjob. Your hands were faster than his and they felt way better than his owns. Going faster up and down on his dick, using his pre-cum for more friction. His moans started to get louder while he chanted your name over and over again, until you used your thumb to make circles around his tip. It was clear for both of you that he was getting close. To push him over the edge, you used your thumb to circle around on his tip while the other hand continued to jerk him off. Dainsleif then came on your hands without warning and a low groan moan.  “F-fuck, d-don’t stop, please…”, he said while leaning back, loving how your not stopped a bit because you knew he loved it. While his cum covered your hands, it was getting messier by every movement. You slowed down before letting go to lick his cum off your hands.

Dainsleif was mesmerized by what you are doing with his own cum, oh no, seeing you like this made his mind all foggy. It stopped his dick becoming limb, the opposite occurred and it hardened again. Needing now much more than your touches. While you were licking your fingers completely going in for it, you did not notice that he is going to push you over to your stomach on the couch, grinding his hard dick against your ass. Letting out a suprised moan, you looked behind, seeing him lost in lust to fuck you tonight crazy. You let him undress, more like ripping it apart, your bottom part to have easier access to your pulsing asshole. There was no time for him to finger you before fucking you. He ended up pushing his dick slowly inside you, while your ass sucked his dick inside further. You heard him letting out a surprisingly loud moan, then sighed and leaned down to kiss your neck. 

“S-stay like this, fuck, you are too good for me…”, he said, starting to fuck you from behind into the couch. Your eyes roll behind as Dainsleif did not have the time to let you adjust to his dick. His hips ramming into you with no mercy. His dick pushed his previous cum from your handjob easily out of your ass, it was even a good enough lubrication. 

Anyways, his hips slapping against your ass, creating the naughties sounds in your apartment, while there was no filter on Dainsleif’s mouth, moaning with his pretty voice out your name. You could feel his dick deep inside you, ramming it inside this particular spot which made you lose any sight. The rougher he got, the more you could also feel your orgasm building up. “D-dain, slow down…”, you moaned, holding on to the pillow for aid. But he did not slow down a bit, going at an animalistic speed to destroy your ass, completely let go of all this pent up stress he had in the past 500 years. He was getting close again, so did you too.

“Let me cum inside of you.”, it was not a question since even if you would say something against it, your mind was blank wanting only to cum with him, thinking of his thick dick slamming inside of you. Since the only response you gave him was your moans, he leaned up and grabbed your waist to slam his dick a few times in you before painting your inner walls white. “Ugh…ahh~”, he moaned, filling you up. All his juicy cum coming out filling you up. After a moment of silence, you started to laugh. “Haha, Dain you made such a mess, damn…”

He was clearly out of breath but smiled, pulling his dick out just to slam back inside of you. Slowly fucking you again. “Mhmm…”, this made your toes roll while you concentrated not to cum again. You were as sensitive as his dick was, so you pushed your hip higher to make him reach deeper inside you, hitting again your g-spot. “Oh, you want more?”, turning the tables around. You made him want this and now you are desperately needing more inside of you. After seeing you nod and moan out, he started to fuck you again and again, filling your ass up to the brim. With every push inside you, cum floated out of you, making the couch a complete mess. This went on the whole night, him not letting go of the amazing feeling of his dick rearrange your inners over and over again. 

Eventually both of you fall asleep after some hours into the late night, cuddling up in the mess since both of you were too tired to take a bath or anything to clean up. He kisses your head and snuggles into your shivering body. “Sorry, I will help you out with cleaning up, okay?”

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- Banner made by @/benkaibear (or just click on the image to get it)

[5a-alf]

I have been obsessing over this perfect court!AU and have literally like one irl friend to talk about it with. So.

The thing about Riko is that he never ever ever could have been anything different. He has at least one but probably two personality disorders (narcisism and antisocial i'd argue), which are the result of the abuse he endured. From a young age he was only an object, a spare, or the embodiment of an idea.

Others are redeemable because they are people, but he never really was a person in his own right. So he got worse and worse and worse, and we all know what he did.

I wanted a story where he could have something different, for i feel there is no universe in which he ends in a different way: everything he has is a childish dream, and that would have failed at some point anyway. And with failure comes death. I think his brother would have killed him even without the whole clusterfuck of the last game, just because without Kengo the main line was now only one adult and the 'branch' one was 2, which is one too many. Between Riko and Testuji, killing Riko made the most sense because Testuji had no interest in power, he just liked his dolls; also he was already an expert at his job, while Riko would have to learn/train to fill that role. And obviously age is also a factor, Riko is young, Testuji is middle-aged: for ichirou, a young man, the second is less threatening.

I could go on for hours guys im not even joking

For him to have a different future, he is not even the only thing that needs to change. If he was a good person, he'd have been dead earlier. If he was an okay person too. Maybe as morally gray he'd have the same exact life with a little less enemies.

What needs to change with him is the people he has around, his safety net. He has zero people on his side in canon (And he shouldn't have them, mind, he's horrid. But still, out of every bad person in aftg he is the only one who no one loves), he only has followers and pawns. So for an AU to work, he would need to change in a way that would affect the people he surrounds himself with enough to once again reach the show down with Ichirou and "win" against Testuji.

To do that, i think he needs Neil on his side. Kevin is great dont get me wrong, but he doesnt get it the way neil does. Neil gets the mafia, its way of thinking, its deals and the way power moves. Neil know how to be vicious and how to read people and how to push just enough.

To have a 'good' relationship with neil something needs to go differently during the selling, so that his mom doesnt run away with him. But he'd also need to have a good relationship with kevin first. For him to have a different relationship woth kevin i dont think he'd necessarily need to be better morally, he'd just need to be a better manipulator. In canon he controls people with fear/violence/money, but the best way to control people is actually through love/favors. To train a dog, you better give it treats than beat it. I think this way they would end up with a better relationship but also, the better relationship would in turn make him a better person, and the two things would continue to feed each other.

Neil comes in now. He is 10, Riko and Kevin are 12. The thing with Neil (aside from all i've already said) is that Riko would quite literally own him at this point, the same way he then owns Jean. The main difference between the two situations i think would be 1) their personalities 2) their age. At 16 (Jean 14) Riko is already off the deep end. Waay too deep. But at 12? Different story.

For the first point, mostly i'd say that Neil grew up in an abusive household like jean did, but he knew his father as the butcher, as a mafioso, and he was taught how to use knives ecc as a kid. He knew the drill, he knew the life. Jean was completely uprooted, brought into a different country, told to play a game i dont think he knew anything about. Much more jarring. Neil already loved Exy, he wanted to play it all the time; the sport itself would be a good motivator for good behaviour. Jean was just angry angry angry (fair.) and alone in a different country. So. Not the same. I think Raven!Neil would be the one person on the team not afraid to tell Riko off, but also not afraid of his violence (much more restricted in this au guys), and riko is also not scared of Neil's violence (a bit more than in canon, he grew at castle evermore; he is nathaniel) so they find solace in each other. He'd know when to listen and when to mouth off [Riko saying "nathaniel" vs "neil" and things like that]

Second point is their age, because at 12 riko is more susceptible to change than he is at 16, so building a rapport with neil would prove more beneficial, for all i've said in point one.

Jean would be a harder case. Bringing him to heel is much more complicated, because riko doesnt have anything to leverage against him nor offer him, the guy has nothing to lose anymore and now is not enough of a person to desire anything (well. Anything obtainable. He'd like to be free for sure). I think again a lot of the work would be done by neil (and kevin too obv, but neil mostly, as his partner) because they are the same age, play the same role, are partners. Neil would be a centainty. And this better riko wouldnt be violent to destroy his spirit, he'd be "forgiving" (when useful) and bandage his wounds when the Master beats him, and be generally kind to a kid who is so starved for kindness he'd kill himself to at least get the touch of death. That + group mentality and i think jean would be on board too.

Andrew also factors in all of this, but i'll go on later this has gotten SO LONG and i wont even reread it gosh i hope it makes sense.

Basically this whole thing ends up in: take the insanity that is andreil as a couple but that somehow is the sanest couple out there but extend it to the perfect court 5.

[pokemon-ash-aus]

Your Dead AU gives me brain rot. I dunno if this was asked yet or not, but I wanted to know your thoughts on Ash’s other rivals finding out about his status as deceased. Hypothetical what-it’s if you don’t honestly see them finding out for one reason or another in canon to the AU, but I’m curious as to your thoughts on how they’d find out.

I guess I should better specify Barry, Paul, Trip, and Alain, how they’d react to Ash’s being dead?

OKAY!;

Barry doesn't believe it at all. Even when given hard definitive truth, he's under the assumption that all of this? All this deadness? It's just a cruel prank that needs to be fined for!

Paul... I imagine Paul is the one to outright calling him pathetic for dying so soon. It's both malicious in intent and not.

He wants to call Ash Pathetic, he wants to make him hurt and make him feel inferior. He wants to revel that Ash will never succeed with the methods he's going by.

But Paul isnt a cruel person by nature. The moment he says it, he's filled wih so much dread and disgust. He just called a dead person pathetic for... For DYING, nothing on his actions or movements. He's just pathetic for dying.

He avoids Ash for awhile after that. Even when Ash instigates. It's just that much level of disgust with himself. Eventually he does apologize. I can see it being at the league. When he walks up to Ash after loosing their battle and apologizes without any eyes or ears around. He's not good at it.

"That really hurt me." Ash grimaces. "Ive never been called Pathetic for Dying..."

"Im sorry you felt that way." Paul tries. "I didnt mean to say it the way i did."

Its a lot of awkward dancing before Ash realizes Paul is really Socially inept and has to clarify. It's a shitty apology for a Shitty action, but Paul is absolutely trying and Ash cannot fault him for that.

Trip. See my bias shows here because I absolutely believe Trip is 100% an asshole Racist.

But would Trip insult Ash's dead status? I think so. I think he'd sprinkle it in with all his other racists remarks. Never outright outing him, but also never letting him forget that Trip KNOWS.

And fuck if that doesnt wear Ash down. And When Iris and Cilan find out, they back Ash up without a thought but it doesnt erase how much Trip taunts how Ash died. Doesnt erase that Trip continuously makes snide remarks about it.

I think this is the one and only time Ash truly uses his own abilities and powers to make Trip HURT.

And it doesnt even give him any satisfaction! Cause Trip had successfully made him feel disgusted by his own dead status. Something mind you, he had been over for fucking YEARS, by that point!

So yeah I think Trip is the worst one and my bias will not falter.

Alain. I imagine he finds out at the BRINK of Ash getting mind controlled. And he's fucking horrified. He truly does believe that He led Ash to his death and then his partner Pikachu as well.

Just fully goes into Shock after everything calms down.

He killed someone he considered a friend.

He killed them.

And Even through soft reassurances from everyone else, it weighs so heavily on his mind. It takes Ash slapping him for him to come back to a reality where he can actually understand what their saying.

And Then Ash explains it all, how he died, how long its been, and NO Alain did not kill him, but the backstabbing was painful as shit and that would take time for Ash to get over.

Alain both believes it and doesnt, but he's still horrified his friend is fucking DEAD.

[thereal-evanrosier]

there's something christian / catholic in all versions of my rosekiller. i dont care what earth this is, guys. you're having a deeply complicated relationship to god.

fallenangel!evan x priest!barty

Evan was supposed to deliever a message to some random priest. it was an honour to be allowed on earth as an angel, you had to be outstanding. The message read "dont trust those who dont even acknowledge the bad", and evan didnt really think about it too hard. But when events on earth were unfolding, he realized that God had been in his way the whole time. He was the one Barty wasn't supposed to trust. Luckily, Barty didn't give a fuck and from that day on, Evan wad filled by a deep hate by God. The almighty took Evan's whole life from him and tried to take away his one safety boat too. And this was supposed to be the one millions of people trust and love? No, Evan decided to never trust him again.

Meanwhile Barty never really lost his faith. Sure, over time he became bitter towards God, and the more he got to know Evan, the more he resented the almighty. Yet he still believed in the ground principles and teachings of the bible. When he hit rockbottom, Barty prayed to God because he knew no matter what, God would take him back. He didn't know how or if the entity ever listened, but he knew that if He did, He'd be there for Barty and help him. After getting close to Evan and occasionally consuming his blood, God would be able to communicate with Barty. This was the craziest turning point in his life. Now, everytime he prayed, he'd make sure god would listen and wait for answers and help. Barty knew that this relationship wasn't the way it was supposed to, he knew he should give more into it, but at the same time, there was no way he'd actually worship God. Getting advice? sure. believing his existence? Yes. But respecting it and active support? No. From week to week, Barty lost his trust more and more, and even though he'd never give it up completely, he dishonoured his extremely catholic family by breaking all the rules and not giving a fuck about morals.

vampire!barty x scientist!evan

Evan had never been religious, God was just a concept that people made up to feel better about themselves. But when he tried to summon a demon, his intention was to ask how the true god was like, so Evan could live and believe the truth. over time, his Catholicism increased steadily, despite the horrible things he did to others, he read and studied the bible, prayed and went to church / confession once a week. Because God was real, and even if Evan would go to hell for murder and torture, he'd get into the good parts of it, because trusted gods plan. He'd probably say smth like "Obviously i killed thay guy! Last night, god told me to do so, its all part of his plan!" and if someone said that was blasphemy, Evan would answer with "I'm allowed, im catholic".

Meanwhile Barty... you would say that since he's been to hell and is hyperaware of God's existence, he's catholic or at least satanic (after all he knows satan personally and can't talk to his hell-bestie on earth anymore) but no. He doesn't pray to anyone, and he won't ever start. He says he loathes God for taking his mother away from him and forcing him to be tortured all his life... At this point Evan doesn't know who Barty even is, so the whole time he's like "????". But they figure it out at some point :) Yet, it makes him genuinely angry that Evan is becoming religious because of him. Why would the love of his life pray to the one entity that hurt him so much? God and their opposite views on him are some of their only fight points. While all Barty sees in God is a fake saviour who is lying through his teeth, Evan acknowledges His flaws, yet praises him for the good things. He doesnt care about breaking the rules - he's thankful for not being in jail and he's thankful for meeting Barty.

They both arent near perfect and neither of them has a "healthy" relationship to God, but I don't think that's possible in any universe.

Summary

Both versions of Rosekiller has one person that is more religious than the other one. While fallenangel!evan x priest!barty built on religion and wouldn't be able to exist without both of them being religious, there is no technical need for scientist!evan to become religious. vampire!barty might've showed him that hell is real, but there was no "real" reason for him to convert to Christianity, read the bible and confess. He knew that no matter what he did, he wasn't ready to change his behaviour for anything or anyone and would end up in hell anyway. I think, for him God was like a parental figure that had been missing his entire life, and before vampire!barty met him, scientist!evan knew he'd get no answer and wasn't even ready to try and become religious. But now that he could get an answer through vampire!barty, who showed him spells for contact, he felt like this was everything ever missing. A neglected child finally getting attention from the parent it needed his whole life.

Personal notes

The reason for Christianity/Catholicism being the only religion represented is because it was one I grew up with and I know the most about, also due to most of my friends being Christian. I would love to see people headcanon the skittles/marauders as other religions too, I simply didnt want to give misrepresentation.

[djpachipikachu]

do graves!leosagi ever get tired of their friends/family labelling them?? like maybe leo’s bros make fun of him for having a “boyfriend” and he gets like rightfully irritated by that ?

its Kinda amusing bc eventually leo’s family at least straight up thinks theyre just really good pals and its like wow ! friendship ! in a more oblivious sense like they just kinda shrug and go oh yeah usagi’s here again whatever

originally mikey was insanely insanely suspicious of usagi and what his relationship was with leo (“hes literally just a friend” “YOU MEAN A BOY-FRIEND. AND U NEVER TOLD US.” “what am i supposed 2 say do i update u guys every time i make a friend” “If I See This Fuckinf Rabbit Sleeping In Your Bed Again I’m Telling Dad” “WE WERE HAVING A SLEEPOVER”) (mikey was mainly shocked bc leo invited a friend to sleepover who they didnt know And leo didnt tell anyone there was an extra mouth to feed for brekkie) but once everything was smoothed over usagi just became another regular, similar to how april is

leo himself tells raph that its a little more than that but only raph rly knows it and hes always had a hunch about them so it didnt change much in how the brotjers saw the two

usagi’s family on the other hand is definitely more “Boyfriend? boyfriend? boyfriend? crush? romance?” kitsune teases usagi about how dramatically romantic it must be to fall for a guy he hated in the beginning and usagi is like . so filled with Eugh. This Is Not Romantic. ick feeling that it causes him to be more in denial at how close he’s gotten with leo (in the beginning at least , later on kitsune still teases him but he’s more at ease with how him and leo are, so he always jusy goes “ew no im not kissing him dates r gross” but over time she toned it down to more “ooh is someone missing a certain kappa?” kinda teasing rather than “whens the wedding/has your first kiss happened yet lmao/etc” kinda teasing)

hana calls leo his boyfriend like all the time and like . usagi doesnt rly correct her bc she’s 8 and he doesnt know how to explain that they “arent Really boyfriends sure they do things that couples would do sometimes but its platonic and well you dont rly know what platonic means uh”

so she gets a pass on all her “IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND” comments since usagi is just like “yeagh its leo u wanna say hi”

auntie notices how leo visits a lot and she kinda just is like “okay ur like my kid now. lol.” she thinks they are just best friends bc usagi said they are and who is she to think otherwise, she kinda just absorbs leo (and later on the hamatos) as her own family and doesnt question their relatiomship much

chizu and gen tend to stay out of usagi’s personal business like that But gen did think that leo was a girl for a good while before he was ever introduced to him . and he was like “usagi if you wanna pick up the ladies u need like. do better. than this” “what. What” “like take a shower man” trying to give him flirting/relationship advice without actually knowing leo at all and also assuming usagi is straight

all in all its never really serious if people call them boyfriends or just best friends bc they dont really care to correct anyone it only matters if its like “so did you hit the [insert romantic relationship milestone] phase yet haha” bc that gets tiring to hear constantly

mainly all their family is just like “oh okay” at their relationship since i dont Really want to make the hardships of being aroace or being queer a big point since we already struggle enough with that irl ! a few details here and there about how their unlabelled status confuses some people but generally just a “we’ve seen weirder shit who cares” kinda energy to it

i love rambling . Thank you for the wuestion ily /p

[tossball-stick]

personal kieran headcanons 😋

tagging: @aintan0driscollnomore

hiii im here to ramble about my kieran hcs. these r all my personal ones. i hope u enjoy :3

i am not gonna he/him this guy for the whole post so first things first to get it out of the way: i think shes trans!! yeah i think shes a trans woman who just hasnt realized yet. a long life of hardship has left her in a perpetual state of "im probably actually a woman but im going through life ruining trauma so i cant deal with that rn"

therefore....... i think her spending more time with the women is to be one of the girls. its the closest shes gotten, im sure, im sure its probably the first time shes even properly been around women, socially, in years, even.

i like to think her and bill eventually start warming up to each other. a shared history in the army makes her sympathetic towards him, to a degree. i can imagine her listening to him pour his heart and soul out about dutch and feel a little bad for him. especially the closer she gets to the ladies, the more of a safe space she has away from bill, should she desire. it works out.

before the vdl gang very rudely starved her, she was actually a little thick around the middle. in aus where shes allowed to eat reguluarly for a good while, i think she needs to fill back out

i think shes flat out lying about how significant her role with the o'driscolls was. i think she was actually pretty notable in the gang, maybe even being close to colm. other posts have explained this much better than i could dream to.

i also think she doesnt exactly hate outlaw life!! people often forget thst her time in the army "didnt end well," and that after the army she joined another gang that later abandoned her. she seems to lean towards gang life, as well as horse management. interesting!

while she actively pursues mary-beth for the most part, i think she has crushes on most of the other ladies. i think she'd even admit grimshaw is mighty pretty for her age, and that she'd be fooled to find out grimshaw was as old as she was.

very inexperienced with dating. just has never really been around women much, as i ssid before.

i think she has a bitter crush on arthur. gets all huffy about finding him handsome. maybe has asked him for a dance while drunk once. i like to think he obliged her but realistically i doubt it

i think "fishing" is moreso just an excuse to look out at nature and enjoy it, as well as an excuse to ride around on branwen, though dont get me wrong, i still think its one of the few connections she has left with her father.

i think in an ideal world sean would be her outlet to have the childhood she never quite got. based on their campfire interactions, despite the violence, they seem to think not poorly of each other. irish immigrants 🤝

i think shes a bit more cruel and tricksy than people give her credit for, but i dont think shes a horrible person or anything. shes done bad bad things. she doesnt feel good about much of it i imagine. i think her phrasing of "the o'driscolls gave me a choice: ride with them or die" as more along the lines of how the vdl gang members view dutch as having saved their life yknow. kiersn only went to the o'driscolls for food and safety to survive, otherwise she might not have had any.

i think she would tbh respect pearson!! she isnt sick of his navy stories like the rest of the vdl gang is, and the navy is highly respected amongst the rest of the military. i think she would humor him a little. plus, he feeds her. a+ in kierans book.

[thoundcarriers]

 tis a very old au of mine about sniper who's lived all his 27 years in New Zealand and never got to be a mercenary. read more insanity under the cut lolol

in this universe, his biological father got inside the capsule instead of little Mun-dee. an hour later, he crashed somewhere in Australia and died. on the next day, some old married couple found his body and buried him on the lonely hill. Mundy and his mother never got to know what happened to him, and the latter did not give a single shit about it.

raised with the weird feeling of being lost and bitter taste of hatred of his mother towards the man who left them in an underwater cage, Mick tries his best to recover the schemes of his biological father, hoping for the opportunity of escaping, too. years later, he finds nothing and gives up. nor that he had any skills for engineering, too.

on the day of his 27th birthday, an unknown ship hovers above the glass dome of the city, and a female voice on the communication lines politely demands him to climb into the cabin this instant.

spy and pauling are happy beyond themselves - they finally found him. the sniper, even though he's clearly not remembering his past self. but they hope that he comes back to his original self eventually.

poor lad is confused and nervous, he's expected to know stuff he never did. he's told that as soon as he gets into it, he'll be back in no time. the problem is that he has never held a sniper rifle in his life, not mentioning about killing someone.

ms p comes up with a wonderful idea - his parents that adopted him must be still alive in that universe. there's no better teacher at shooting stuff than the Mick's papa himself. the only thing left to do is to convince them that Mick is actually their son somewhere in another world. and if they don't agree to help, it'd all be lost to hell. pretty easy!

surprisingly, the gang handle the old couple well after finding their village and introducing themselves. the old man doesn't trust them, always squinting and spitting behind their backs. yet there's the only thing he likes about that lanky guy - he doesn't complain much, spending hours under australian sun and soaking wet with sweat in his weird purple shirt, while learning the grounds of weaponry. miss mundy is on the contrary - really happy to have guests in their village and is pretty supportive of the young man she knows only for a moment.

for a moment, Mick catches the sight of someone's grave in the distance in his lense. for some reason, it fills him with rage he never felt, and it fuels him to train even more. i know i know most of it doesnt even make fucking sense. but let me dream aight. tagged as 'left alone au' on my blog is u wanna look up for some old cringe

[the-s1lly-corner]

HELLO HI HI

dlfkwkfowowo im secretly staking ur blog

if this is okay with you…

could there perhaps be a tadc x reader who smiles… but like all the time

like no matter what happens, reader always has a smile on their face to never show weakness!

this can come off as creepy because the only thing fhat you always see is their smile, they never frown, or anything like that

feel free to ignore this though if you aren’t interested! take care! <3

TADC cast x reader who always smiles!

gm everyone its 6 in the morning and the admin woke up at around 2am, unable to go back to sleep.... sooooooooooooo.... yeah! gonna answer a few requests then imma make breakfast, work on art, and hopefully work on more requests! might make cookies again today.... we'll see!

CAINE:

completely unphased by any creepiness of your perma smile, in fact he would go on to compliment it anytime he sees it... which is... all the time.... whether your smile is permanent due to your digital body, or you willingly choose to smile all the time.. doesnt matter to him, hes going to let you know that he loves how you look! doesnt raise a brow when it doesnt falter in the phase of danger or stress, probably thinks thats... only slightly strange, but not anything to raise any questions... you know? pretty much ai not fully understanding humans deal with that one

POMNI:

genuinely freaked out by it because it can get.. unnerving at times especially if youre quiet. like can you imagine you just slink into the room and youre just. smiling. god she would probably jump a few feet into the air when she finally notices you.... not cool, reader!/lh

nervously smiles back, though she does relax a little when she gets to know you better and why you smile all the time, eventually getting over her fear for the most part! though, i think she would gently push for you to let the smile drop every now and then

RAGATHA:

assuming she knows you do it to not be vulnerable you can bet your ass shes going to try to get you to let your walls down around her, lets you have alone time with her and reassures you that theres nothing wrong in having a moment of weakness. things like that. though, she may come off as pushy just know that she means no harm. like pomni, when first getting used to you/getting to know you i think she would be a little put off by your perma-smile but soon grows used to it. much faster than pomni does, i think

JAX:

probably teases you about it and gives you nicknames for it/being perceived as happy and cheerful... perhaps keeps it up even after he finds out why you do it/puts the pieces together himself. though, he doesnt try to get you to open up, since thats a you issue and jax doesnt seem like the type to have you take a step towards that since it seems to be working for you. sooooo... honestly i think he would still smile too, only because he knows it unnerves some of the other circus members. not at all for the same reason you do it so take that as you will

KINGER:

honestly depending on how the smile looks (normal, or perhaps stretched wide) it might dip into a sort of uncanny valley for him... actually, even if it looked normal, seeing someone just smiling all the time can put anyone off, i think. especially someone like kinger whos always paranoid about something terrible happening... definitely going to have to either drop the smile around him or fill him in on everything. do i think he would be rude and/or run away at the mere sight of you? definitely not, especially if you guys are friends/partners, but hes definitely going to be a little anxious on bad days the first few weeks he knows you, you know?

ZOOBLE:

doesnt really care either way. does think the smile is a little creepy, though. but that doesnt exactly mean its a bad thing, in fact they think its cool. interesting. different. admin likes to headcannon that zooble was into horror/disturbing stuff so something like this might be up their alley, reasoning for the smile aside. though, i do think they would have a little pause if they find out your reasoning... mostly only if you guys are close since otherwise they brush it off as its not their business. buuuuuut... if you are close, they probably tell you theres nothing wrong in being vulnerable, at least in their own way which may come off as sarcastic.. so !

GANGLE:

i was about to say that she would be put off by it, but honestly? she gets it. i saw somewhere/someone said that gangles masks are like metaphors/comedy mask is a false thing and shes not ACTUALLY happy or confident with it on.. if i had the post id link it but </3

out of all of them i think... with her, youre the most likely to drop your own mask and open up to her, at least with the most ease because you guys can relate to one another. sure, gangle has her masks for a different reason (as well as them simply being a part of her digital body), but you guys can still relate and find solidarity in one another

[galacticleague]

speaking my truth on npmd because im thinking about this alot. i think the reason it falls flatter than tgwdlm and bf as a musical is that tgwdlm and bf have a running theme — want.

(whole thing undercut)

the cast of tgwdlm want human connection - charlotte wants sam to love her, bill wants alice to love him, mr davidson wants his wife to choke him while he jerks off etc etc, and eventually paul goes from 'i want what anyone wants, money, kids, a partner maybe idk' to - to put it simply - wanting emma (putting it very simply, if i went into detail this post would go off the rails). this switch is what makes him vulnerable to the hive and this want to live and to survive and to be happy with emma is satiated by pokey by giving him the connection he craves via hivemind, this is how it works for everyone. they want to be happy, pokey makes them happy by removing any need to want anything in the first place.

similarly, in bf, the adults of hatchetfield are still miserable and they want to be happy, they have this void within them that they feel they need to fill with products and consumerism. if they buy this stupid fucking doll their kids will love them, they will be happy, etc etc. and this want to be happy is similarly satiated by wiggly via the cult - they have something to worship, or - in lindas case - people who worship them. they have purpose, or at least they think they do, but whether their problems have actually been solved or not - they are still content.

but in npmd, this is less solid. theres that bit where they have to sacrifice what they want the most, but this is near the end. its kind of all over the place, and this wobbliness(?) is sort of just emphasised by the fact that there is no specific lord in black, its all of them. now i loved the summoning when i first watched it because im obviously a huge hatchetfield fan so i like. know who these characters are but as ive seen others say, alot of npmd does rely on knowing hatchetfield lore - understanding injokes. and in hindsight it just... isnt great for the cohesion of the plot.

tgwdlm and bf both have specific themes, specific lords in black, they have subplots but they have a solid throughline that is easier to follow. to me, npmd feels like its all over the place and it just feels kind of...mid for lack of a better word.

i think there were some moments that were just kind jarring? i guess? like if i loved you coming directly after ruths death was really strange, tonally. i wish they spent more time on ruths death tbh she deserved better. richie got two songs and an opening scene. anyways i digress- i feel like whenever i think about it im always like. i just wanted More. which is weird cuz its already like 2 hours long but idk. IDK!!! if i loved definitely felt unnecessary to me- like just conflict out of nowhere. i would have liked more build up to it. maybe im just salty that it took up stagetime that could have been used to grieve ruth but. sorry for the random if i loved you slander i think my point here is that some moments and some subplots felt more tropey, injokey or like fanservice??but not in a sexual way?? - is that the right word to use idk - than actual compelling plot moments. tgwdlm is an incredible work of theatre and uses subversions of tropes to communicate a great story, bf is a detailed criticism of american consumerism and how capitalistic societies force people to rely on products to make their lives better, npmd is. high school drama with ghosts. it just doesnt hit as hard on its own.

i dont want to be one of those "im a better writer, and THIS is how i would have done it!!!! im going to fix this!!!" people so im not going to do that but i think something i would have liked to see was focus on just one lord in black, probably nibbly because i feel like he fits the most and has the least preexisting story. i mean for gods sake, why does wiggly have the most speech time out of all the lords in black again!!! he already has an entire musical about him!!! greedy bitch- well i guess thats kind of his thing. i think i just want to see more of nibbly tbh, he has one nmt story and he only shows up at the very end. anyways that was kind of a side rant sorry gang. there isnt a problem with having a story featuring all the lords in black, but i think it just doesnt quite work in npmd for like structural reasons as well as plot cohesion.

i did enjoy npmd, im not pretending i didnt, but narratively it is the weakest hatchetfield musical and i just wanted to put my finger on what it is specifically. please dont take this as like hate or slander, i am a huge starkid fan, but i think it is important to consume media critically.

also i am not a professional i am a teenage drama and english lit student who likes media analysis and narrative design so just. take everything i say with a grain of salt :)

if you read all this, thankyou and if you disagree please lmk what you think(civilly.i do not want discourse in my notes)!! i could be hugely wrong about this and just need to think more about npmd and id love to see others' analyses!

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

hhi could i. could i ask if you have any portal ford headcanons im being insane about him right now and your headcanons are So 💥‼️🎉🌈💥/pos

hi hello hows it goin

-he didn't get all of his tattoos in one sitting, and he actually has a few he gave to himself. some of the tattoos look like normal earth tattoos, but theres also a few that have cool effects to them. color-changing, moving slightly, shapeshifting from one creature to another, etc. etc.

-he gave himself a little sailboat tattoo in case he ever lost the photo. he also gave himself an axolotl after he met Jheselbraum

-when he was fresh into the portal, hed join other interdimensional travelers, make companions...he stopped after a while because the grief he felt every time he inevitably lost them became too much. he still misses the ones he did have, though. he gave himself a constellation tattoo to remember them- a star for each one.

-he has perhaps too many tattoos. most of them end up being covered up by scars, though

-speaking of scars- ford lost his right arm sometime while he was in the portal. An "anomaly" bit it off. He has a prosthetic now (in the future, he's going to keep forgetting to mention this to stan. which is. definitely not going to cause any problems at all (sarcastic))

-he has several scars that either look weird (slightly glow-in-the-dark, shimmers, etc.) or healed in strange patterns because they were caused by weapons very much not intended to interact with human flesh

-he has a lot of "speckle" scars all over him. theyre from corrosive rain

-Jheselbraum has been thoroughly established as a sort of secondary mother figure in his mind. She has also been given this role by many, many other versions of Ford. she is the space mom

-he once met a moth version of himself who borrowed a gun from him and never gave it back. hes still upset about that. no, he has not realized the connection

-he once held a full conversation with another version of stan without noticing who he was talking to. in his defense, it was dark out

-at some point, he developed a tapetum lucidum and nictitating membranes. this is the incredibly self-indulgent biology-hyperfixation-induced headcanon

-he thinks he can handle smoke and toxic air better because of how much time hes spent not being able to breathe properly. its actually made him more sensitive to things like that

-he has gotten better at not being poisoned though. this comes from years of eating random mushrooms and plants and bug-adjacent creatures. this doesnt apply to raw meat as much, but he can definitely handle it better than most other humans

-every now and then, the hyperfixation excitement will outweigh how horrible he feels all the time and he'll just end up staring at some sort of weird creature and taking mental notes about it for a really long time

-sometimes he'll name random creatures he sees just to kill time. waiting for your food to finish cooking? give your local fish-bird-thing a name

-he doesnt know this, but hes actually seen a few creatures that are considered cryptids in those dimensions

-his favorite dimensions are the ones filled with wildlife and starry skies and vibrant colors. theyre not nearly as common as youd think they are

-hes gotten more used to speaking non-earth languages than earth-languages. as such, hes started using lots of phrases that have...interesting translations in english

-he forgets how to speak sometimes. it used to be more distressing, but he doesnt typically come across many creatures that can understand language anyway. its more of an annoyance than anything at this point

-hes gotten really good at mimicking the calls of other creatures. really good. possibly too good (he will use this power for evil in the future. to terrorize his brother with seagull noises)

-this is technically post-portal, but he adapts the creatures hes seen into homebrew enemies and races in his DD&MD campaigns

-also post-portal, but he'll sometimes forget that that weird thing hes looking at is. yknow. weird and not just a normal part of life in this dimension. this is one of the two reasons why he asks stan to point out anomalies to him

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ How The Boxers Drive ☆

made this bc evil (im running out of excuses) this has been rotting in my queue for a while now

Glass Joe

- Really paranoid, i dont blame him cars are really flammable

- will panic if even one scratch gets on his car

- Just really careful with where he parks & when he parks

- if anything suspicious is on his windshield he'll panic because what if its used to mark him for something

-you know how moms go "slow down your gonna crash!!" if you speed up while driving? Yeah thats him

Von Kaiser

- unhinged driver, he'll go 50 kilometers a hour with the most bored expression ever

- put on your seatbelts because he loves to take sudden turns

- you have to hold on for dear life to anything because he doesnt understand what the words "slow down" means

- do not turn on the lights, just dont or he'll literally hiss at you

- driving like hes in a police chase, damn peepaw slow down

Disco Kid

- blasting his ears out + also going ridiculously fast

- you better hope the radio stops after a crash or you'll die to california girls

- doesnt do sudden turns thankfully

- drives even faster at nighttime, disco is really out for blood

- dont even bother honking at him, he cant hear you over his 92827298272 hour playlist

King Hippo

- he cant drive, what are you all on

- no literally, even if he could find a car to fit him, he still wouldnt be able to operate it

- too overwhelming for him anyways

- He gets carsick too easily

Piston Hondo

- actually responsible & obeys traffic laws (LIKE A LOSER!! BOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO RUN OVER PEOPLE INSTEAD!!)

- cant listen to music while driving, it just doesnt work for him

- if you honk at him he'll stare into your soul

- actually reading the road signs (LIKE A NERD!! BOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO THE LAW SUCKS)

- overall responsible driver

Great Tiger

- another driver from hell

- honks to communicate with people, at some point you'll have to consider ripping off the steering wheel or your ears

- blasting his music, he has damaged hearing because of that

- speed limits are for cowards,he'll gladly go 100 in a 30 zone

- reading road signs but not caring at all

Bear Hugger

- oh no.

- okay driver but wont shut up, bear we get it you shouldnt piss off or piss ON a moose you couldve ended it there

- eating snacks in the backseat makes him do the ultimate dad move™ (the hand thingy dads do when you eat snacks)

- "yeah you can push those to the side make yourself comfortable" as his backseat is filled with maple syrup bottles, a pair of moose antlers and the weirdest shit you can imagine, bear im really sure you dont need a entire ass stop sign

- doesnt speed but takes sudden turns way too often for your stomach to stay in one piece (can we get much higherrr, so highhh)

- also honks to communicate

Don Flamenco

- this fucking menace needs to be stopped

- He sings in the car, Don nobody needs to hear you sing poker face please dont crash

- unintentionally speeding, always 5 km over the speed limit

- holy shit he needs his license taken away

- He texts while driving, how worse can you get??

- you know "get in loser, we're going shopping."? yeah thats him whenever he comes to pick someone up

- Does more singing than driving

Aran Ryan

- wait what

- He actually obeys traffic laws & is okay with speed limits? What a switch

- He knows how to shut up too

- He may be a nuisance but he keeps it off the road because nuh uh no one is dying in a car crash today

- has sobbed in his car multiple times (mostly while driving) thats the most you can get him

- him & his car have been through thick and thin, he has laughed in that car, cried in that car, screamed in that car, sung in that car, he has went through everything with his car, it legally counts as an artifact

Soda Popinski

- license, on the kitchen table, NOW.

- he used to drive when drunk when he was a alcoholic (hence his past name, vodka drunkenski)

- doesnt use any kind of navigation when driving, he uses his gut feelings & they either: work, fail miserably or have you end up in a seperate country and either way its concerning

- has crashed into multiple signs & trees

- speeds when bored

- oh my god this man is a mess

Bald Bull

- calm the fuck down

- same deal as kaiser, unhinged driver with the most bored expression ever while asking you "how was your day?" like dude please slow down

- hes the reason the term road rage exists

- will gladly get out of the car to fight someone

- honking at him is a one way ticket to fucking die - land

- i hope awkward conversations are your thing because he'll try to do a icebreaker and ask stuff

- keep the lights off unless its the night or he'll chuck you out of the car like you're a McDonald's™ napkin

Super Macho Man

- jail.

- hes driving on the sidewalk. DRIVING ON THE SIDE FUCKING WALK.

- drives even if hes tired

-suprisingly brash with his car considering it costs a fortune

- He didnt hit the street lamp, it hit him

- blasting the worst music ever as he goes through a quiet neighborhood at 3 am

Mr Sandman

- oh my god finally a good driver

- hes a law abiding citizen

- hes the only one allowed to drive

- the only thing you can get him on is slamming his car door a little too hard but thats better than going 92827281962629912619916281972729229 in a 30 km zone or stopping halfway through to fight someone

- will not talk, ever.

- hes the first option when the wvba needs to ride somewhere and cant find a driver