#but it still doesnt fill him up. it doesnt actually make him feel better. it only tarnishes his relationship with mac further. and he looks

[the-s1lly-corner]

Angel, Husk, Alastor, and Pentious x kind!sinner reader

Prize 2/5 for @coldsushisworld !

Notes: they knew reader before they died, making it all the more shocking that they ended up in hell

ANGEL DUST

A mixture of shocked and angry on your behalf. He had overheard from charlie and Lucifer that heaven was strict, and you being here in hell seems to serve as proof. Similar to Husk, Angel makes sure that you dont get dragged into any nasty business. Asides from that, he shows you the ropes of how things work; around the pride ring as well as at the hotel. He confides in you about what's going on in his personal life, though it's not often. He knows you won't judge him for anything, but opening up is still tough. He firmly believes you can be redeemed, if redemption is possible.. after all none of the characters in Hell seem to know what happened to Pentious... theres mixed feelings there, on one hand he wants you to get access to a better place but on the other hes going to miss you. Its selfish, and in a way he starts to pregame the grieving if that makes sense...

HUSK

It deepens his lack of optimism about.. everything really. Out of all the people he knew in his life, you deserved to ascend more than them all. The fact that you're here feels like a punch to the gut. Husk surrounded himself with a lot of people in his life, and in death as well; his belief that the universe isnt fair is cemented. Even still it's nice having a familiar face wandering around. He keeps you filled in on what's going on at the hotel, and hea very adamant that you keep away from sinister characters like Alastor. He doesn't want you to be dragged down into anything... terrible..

ALASTOR

Intruigied but vaguely amused. He already believes that sinners cannot be redeemed so hes not betting much on your redemption. It's nothing against you of course, its just his beliefs in general. When he has the time he does make sure to catch up with you, even jokingly asking if you've gotten meaner since you've died. Conquered any territory during a turf war? Yet any contracts? You still have ownership of your soul, right? Hes fairly sweet and affectionate with you, similarly to how he acts with Mimzy and Rosie. He doesnt have much time to spend with you, however..but anytime there is, you're both left with a good time! Being friends with the radio demon does have its perks, especially when you're too good natured to fight anyone...

SIR PENTIOUS

Confused, mostly. He is happy that you're here, because that means he has a friend down here in Hell. But hes also a little mad at the universe for condemning you. He has a reaction similar to Husk, actually. Even when he gets over the initial shock hes still a little sour about your situation, though its quickly put to the side when you propose hanging out with him.. oh my god please spend time with him he hardly ever gets the excuse to be friends- "besties" as people say nowadays- with other people. Hes lonely and it really shows in your early interactions after reuniting. If this is prior to him joining the hotel he tries to rope you into the turf wars, insisting that power and control is the way to go here in Hell. He promises to share with you, though he never... gets any influence...

[stardewstardropthoughts]

may i request trying to conceive with the bachelors? like it’s been decided that you want to start trying for a baby and maybe it doesnt happen right away?

maybe it can get a little nsfw 🙈

I’m so sorry these are major nsfw I got a little caught up 😂 that being said MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT, smuts below the line 💜

Trying to conceive with the bachelors

Harvey:

He knows it’s probably gonna take more then one try to get pregnant, usually it can take up to a year for couples to fall pregnant with Their first baby

But that doesn’t make each month with a negative test any easier on either of you

It’s been four months of trying to no avail, each time your period comes right on time

Of course he’s still very encouraging about it all, he doesn’t want disappointment to overshadow your lives

“That’s alright sweetheart, we can try again”

Researchers different positions in bed to make it more likely to conceive

“Fuck baby, just like that”

Pounding into you with your knees on his shoulders leaning over you, cock as deep as he can get. Full mating press when he cums inside you

“Good girl, take it so well”

Keeps you plugged up for a bit after, when he pulls out you keep your legs up against a wall

Finally by the fifth month of trying you get your positive test

And a boat load of nausea

Sam:

He’s so excited at the idea of having his own family with you that he practically jumps your bones the moment you bring it up

Bends you over the nearest couch, flipping your skirt up and moving your panties to the side before plunging his cock into your wet cunt

“Fuck baby, want me to fill you up? Make you a mommy?”

Reaches around to rub circles on your clit while he pounds into you

“Shit baby, gonna cum, gonna fuckin fill you with my cum, make you all round with my kid”

Keeps his hips flush to yours for a good moment after he cums

It takes a total of around seven months to actually get pregnant

He was pounding you into the mattress pretty much nightly for those seven months

Shane:

He was both excited and nervous to start trying for a baby

On the one hand, hitting it raw? Absolutely, and he does want children

On the other hand, he’s nervous on how good of a dad he’ll be, but you assure him you’ll both do great so you agree to start trying

He’s slamming his hips into yours from behind, hands griping your hips harshly pulling you back to meet every thrust

“Fuck baby, take it like such a good little slut, you want my cum? Want me to breed this slutty little pussy? Fucking beg for it”

Moves one of his hands to your hair to pull so your backs into a harsher arch and your heads not buried in the pillows

“Please..f-fuck please give me your cum”

He knows you can beg better then that but he’s feeling generous tonight

Slams his hips as deep as he can get inside you, leaning down to bite your shoulder when he cums

It only takes about six months to get pregnant, six delightful months of getting railed into the mattress, on the dining room table, the couch, the shower

You name it, you’ve been fucked on or in it

Elliott:

He’s also very excited to start a family with you, your the love of his life of course he wants to you to carry his children

He’s got you on your back in bed, his hips slowly thrusting in and out of you at a sweet slow pace

One hand holding yours, the other brushing your hair back sweetly

“Your going to look absolutely beautiful, all full and round with our child my love”

Does not hold back his moans or gasps

When he cums he’ll have you cock warm him while cuddling after so his cum stays deep within you

It takes almost the full year but he’s never lost hope that you’d have your little family

And he can’t say he’s complaining about all the nights spent tangled in each others limbs either

Alex:

He’s also nervous about kids, he wants them but he never had the best example for parents, he is comforted that he’d have you by his side though

He’s got you on his workout bench on your hands and knees, working his hips against you in quick thrusts while panting into your neck

“Fuck babe, you feel so fucking good”

Starts leaving hickeys on your necks while he fucks you

One hand playing with your clit, the other hand gently pinching your nipple

“Shit, gonna look so fucking perfect, have these tits full of milk”

Cums inside you with a long groan against your neck

Your getting fucked two or three times a day for like eight months until you finally get that positive test

Mans got stamina for days, how could he not with all that lifting and working out

Sebastian:

Very excited to ditch condoms but let’s be real, y’all were probably only using the pull out method anyway

It takes a surprisingly short four months to get pregnant

Very surprised you never got pregnant accidentally at some point

Your riding his cock cowgirl style while he guides your hips up and down

Thrusts his hips up to meet yours when you sink down

“Shit sweetheart, gonna make you all mine, gonna make sure everyone knows it’s my kid your carrying”

Possessive just a little bit in bed

Hands leaving your hips to play with your tits while you grind down on him

He decides to flip you over to take control and starts pounding into you quickly, legs tossed over his shoulders

“Fuck, gonna paint this cunt with my cum baby, gonna fucking stuff you full”

Whines when he cums inside you, it’s the hottest whine you’ve ever heard

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Hi dear I hope you're doing well and I was hoping if you can do the whole greaser gang with a s/o that's like Fiona Gallagher from the show shameless? Like she's taking care of her six siblings and her dad who's usually at the bar or passed out somewhere. Their mother ran out and is mentally ill so their s/o is left to be her siblings mother/father/ and nurse fill free to ignore if you want to do and I hope you have a good day!

Summary: The Outsider x Fiona Gallagher!Reader Warnings:mentions of absent mother, drinking, very toxic adult behavior, dysfunctional family Author's Note: gonna be busy tmrw and weekend again, ill try and post 1 fic per day but no promises.

PONYBOY CURTIS

Ponyboy doesn’t really live in a dysfunctional family, yes his home life is tough but Darry loves him and tries his best and pony knows that

However, pony cant mentally put himself in Darry’s shoes of having no-one to lean on and having to take care of many siblings

When he first met you, he was absolutely smitten. And when you told him of your problems, he thought you were the toughest chick in town

He often asks Darry what to do to take a couple of burdens off your shoulder. He applies it to you and also at home, you’ve made him a better person.

JOHNNY CADE

Has a dysfunctional family and can understand, to an extent..he still gets fed sometimes and doesn’t have to work to stay in his home

But he doesn’t have a hard time adjusting to you.

He’s very open and loves your siblings, so he tries to take them out as many times as possible to give you some rest.

He genuinely doesnt understand how your parents could have left you doing all this by yourself when you’re such a perfect girl.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Soda admires you like you’re a work of art. 

He takes everything into consideration, for example, if he wants to take you on a date he’ll invite some of the gang members to hang out with your siblings and keep them away

Never asks you for anything, not to rant, vent or anything. He feels as if his problems could never measure up to yours so his whole world revolves around you.

Tries to spend as much of his money as possible to get you nice things and spoil you.

STEVE RANDLE

Steve understands how tough it is for you mentally. He’ll often stop by your place with something for you, like a box of chocolates or something. 

Whenever he’s over, he makes an effort to get to know and play with your siblings, he even was going to introduce himself to your dad. You convinced him it was a bad idea so he didnt.

He makes it known that you can tell him anything, literally anything, and he’d listen. He also wants you to know that you can call him anytime and he’d come for you.

Reassures you that he won’t ever leave you, that you’re special and he’s madly in love with you.

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

Two-Bit has some kid experience so he tries his hardest to keep your siblings company and even brings his sisters for ‘playdates’

Really enjoys spending time with you and would even do the chores around the house with you to keep talking with you.

He’s not very good at comforting people and he tries to make up for it by using his humor. You get where he’s coming from and it often helps a lot actually.

Tries his best to look nice for you when he comes over, he wants you to know he’s not a washed up nobody like your parents and wants to be a rolemodel to your siblings.

DARRY CURTIS

Often tells you that you’re perfect and that your siblings will grow so much better with you as their ‘parent’. He once made you cry because of what he said and he just held you in his arms while you sobbed.

He can sort of relate to what you’re going through but his is not as extreme as yours. 

Whenever he can he drops by to help you. Date night consists of making dinner for your siblings, washing the dishes and having a late night dinner together after you put your siblings to bed.

He knows you'd make a perfect wife since he’s old enough to marry, just waiting on the right time to pop the question.

DALLAS WINSTON

Dallas is insensitive and rude to you. He knows what you’re going through, he just doesn’t care.

However, once you caught him putting on a bandaid for your younger brother. He wasn’t kind about it, saying things like “can’t you do this yourself?” but he still did it.

He knows you saw it and thinks that hanging around your house and helping you with chores and siblings will keep you quiet about it

He doesn’t like kids, but he tolerates them for his reputation, and because you’re growing on him.

[glitteryapricotranchbiscuit]

genshin fantasies .. first time with virgin dainsleif and he doesnt realize how pent up hes been over the past 500 years until hes cum inside once and still feels so desperate to unload more inside the reader 😵‍💫

♡ Pent up Virgin Dainsleif needing you ♡

!● warnings: gn!reader, grinding, sub!dain (switching sides later on), handjob, messy in the end, very smut, NSFW🔞 no minors or I’ll eat u alive

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note: damn, i love this, breeding goes brrrrr (also sorry that it took so long bby)

“This… uhm, why do you have to sit on my lap again, (y/n)?”, Dainsleif whispered, avoiding your eye contact since you kinda pushed yourself on top of his lap. There was no reason for him to be quiet around your new apartment in Mondstadt but he still did it. Showing to you how awkward this is for him. You could feel that his whole body froze as soon as you made yourself comfortable around his lap. His face now turned slowly red. “Dain… see, I did not know that you would visit me today. You did not answer my letters so I thought you had no time to help me out. There was no time for me to clean…”, you pouted and pressed your body on his, getting a little jump out of him. His head is spinning with unspoken thoughts of you currently.

In fact, you have had a new apartment since you moved to Mondstadt one week ago but there was no time for you to actually get all your stuff out of the boxes. Once Dainsleif noticed your letter he made his way to you. Now in the middle of the night, you both were sitting on the couch which was filled with random stuff you did not have time to sort out. He avoided replying to your speech, so you tap on his nose. “You look like you need this, right?”, you said. It was pretty obvious now. Dainsleif was pent up with all the stress he was dealing with, so you have to make him feel better tonight. Maybe he would stay even for breakfast, who knows? You pushed him onto the couch, so he could lean against the couch pillow, making his body react stiff. Of course, you couldn’t stop smirking seeing him like this. You were facing him and caressing his face, enjoying how beautiful in pain he was, not to jump on you right away and do naughty things with you. 

“I…I know what you are thinking… stop that.”, he said but there was no attempt by him to get rid of you. He wanted this as badly as you needed it. So, your hands made their way down to caress his waist while they went under his shirt. “Oh~ if you know *that* well what I want…” You leaned near his ear and whispered. “Why can’t you stop me then? Or do you like it?” 

Jackpot.

His whole body shivered when he was only concentrating on your sweet voice. Closing his eyes shut, trying not to moan out. Then you suddenly started to move your hips and grind on Dainsleif’s tight. He was frozen like a stone so you had to start acting first. Even if he couldn't get anything out of him, a faint moan came out of his mouth, after your hands stopped at his hardened nippels. You chuckle a little bit before giving him kisses on the neck, grinding yourself faster on him. “F-fuck… don’t stop, please”, he demanded while he grabbed your hips to dig his nails into your flesh. He started to warm up to your liking. But you still had to do the work which wasn’t a problem at all. You were pretty horny too. 

“Mhm, Dainsleif… you are so pretty…”, you said after licking his neck up to his mouth. Giving him little kisses on his mouth, not fully pressing your lips on his, his hands help you to speed up against his tights. “You want more?”, you asked provocatively. He nodded shyly while his eyes begged desperately for more. You couldn’t deny this so you squeezed his cheeks a little bit, not too harsh, so you could stuff your tongue inside his mouth. It wasn’t a battle for dominance because after your tongue melted into each other, Dainsleif literally lost himself in the kiss. Moaning into your mouth while your hip movement started to slow down. 

His eyes were locked to yours while the kiss was not slowing down at all. It was clear for you, that he begged for more touch. Your hands were resting on his hardened nipples but did not pinched him at all. With a sudden push towards your hips, you could feel his pulsing bulge inside his pants. It was painfully begging to be free. He needs your touch so badly. And with the ongoing kiss, Dainsleif got warmer and hotter, so he grabbed your hands and rested them on his bulge. Moaning into the kiss, his eyes clearly screaming to help him release. You let go of his kiss with a deep sigh, taking in the hot air around you both, you smiled brightly. “Hehe, eager are we?~”, you teased him. 

“Oh, shut up and touch me already”, he said with a red face, closing his eyes, pressing his lower body parts against your hands further. You did not waste much more time and zipped his pants open, freeing his pulsing dick. The cold air makes him moan out accidently, making you shiver. Seeing him like this was the best and with no more wasting time, you let him guide your hands. His big but graceful hands wrapping your own to ensheath his dick. While you let him guide your hands, you watched his facial expressions. He made the slutiest face you have ever seen him doing, it was as if he was a different man.

His hands now start to go slowly up and down, letting the pre-cum smear on the rest of his dick, making the jerking motion easier to go faster. Dainsleif’s mouth is a little bit apart, letting small and quiet moans out. Before you could react he sped up and leaned against your neck, feeling his dick pulsing. “(y/n)...”, he started repeating your name near your ear, giving you exciting creeps all over your arms and legs.

“Y-you close?”, you asked while kissing his neck. He nods, noticing how you pushed his hands so you could give him a proper handjob. Your hands were faster than his and they felt way better than his owns. Going faster up and down on his dick, using his pre-cum for more friction. His moans started to get louder while he chanted your name over and over again, until you used your thumb to make circles around his tip. It was clear for both of you that he was getting close. To push him over the edge, you used your thumb to circle around on his tip while the other hand continued to jerk him off. Dainsleif then came on your hands without warning and a low groan moan.  “F-fuck, d-don’t stop, please…”, he said while leaning back, loving how your not stopped a bit because you knew he loved it. While his cum covered your hands, it was getting messier by every movement. You slowed down before letting go to lick his cum off your hands.

Dainsleif was mesmerized by what you are doing with his own cum, oh no, seeing you like this made his mind all foggy. It stopped his dick becoming limb, the opposite occurred and it hardened again. Needing now much more than your touches. While you were licking your fingers completely going in for it, you did not notice that he is going to push you over to your stomach on the couch, grinding his hard dick against your ass. Letting out a suprised moan, you looked behind, seeing him lost in lust to fuck you tonight crazy. You let him undress, more like ripping it apart, your bottom part to have easier access to your pulsing asshole. There was no time for him to finger you before fucking you. He ended up pushing his dick slowly inside you, while your ass sucked his dick inside further. You heard him letting out a surprisingly loud moan, then sighed and leaned down to kiss your neck. 

“S-stay like this, fuck, you are too good for me…”, he said, starting to fuck you from behind into the couch. Your eyes roll behind as Dainsleif did not have the time to let you adjust to his dick. His hips ramming into you with no mercy. His dick pushed his previous cum from your handjob easily out of your ass, it was even a good enough lubrication. 

Anyways, his hips slapping against your ass, creating the naughties sounds in your apartment, while there was no filter on Dainsleif’s mouth, moaning with his pretty voice out your name. You could feel his dick deep inside you, ramming it inside this particular spot which made you lose any sight. The rougher he got, the more you could also feel your orgasm building up. “D-dain, slow down…”, you moaned, holding on to the pillow for aid. But he did not slow down a bit, going at an animalistic speed to destroy your ass, completely let go of all this pent up stress he had in the past 500 years. He was getting close again, so did you too.

“Let me cum inside of you.”, it was not a question since even if you would say something against it, your mind was blank wanting only to cum with him, thinking of his thick dick slamming inside of you. Since the only response you gave him was your moans, he leaned up and grabbed your waist to slam his dick a few times in you before painting your inner walls white. “Ugh…ahh~”, he moaned, filling you up. All his juicy cum coming out filling you up. After a moment of silence, you started to laugh. “Haha, Dain you made such a mess, damn…”

He was clearly out of breath but smiled, pulling his dick out just to slam back inside of you. Slowly fucking you again. “Mhmm…”, this made your toes roll while you concentrated not to cum again. You were as sensitive as his dick was, so you pushed your hip higher to make him reach deeper inside you, hitting again your g-spot. “Oh, you want more?”, turning the tables around. You made him want this and now you are desperately needing more inside of you. After seeing you nod and moan out, he started to fuck you again and again, filling your ass up to the brim. With every push inside you, cum floated out of you, making the couch a complete mess. This went on the whole night, him not letting go of the amazing feeling of his dick rearrange your inners over and over again. 

Eventually both of you fall asleep after some hours into the late night, cuddling up in the mess since both of you were too tired to take a bath or anything to clean up. He kisses your head and snuggles into your shivering body. “Sorry, I will help you out with cleaning up, okay?”

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[catharticmoonshine]

quaritch with a breeding kink! who always has a hand cupped over your lower belly, right where your womb is, when the two of you are together. bonus points if he knows that you're still pumped full with his spent after your latest session, the evidence of your shared passion lying beneath his big palm.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who loves to gently prod at your cervix with his fingertips while he gets you ready to take his cock, two of his thick fingers working you open slowly. he tells you all about it, too. "y'feel that, sugar? mhm, my cum's g'nna be right in there in a second" he chuckles when your slick, gummy walls tighten around his digits at his lewd words, "y'like the sound of that, do ya, sweet girl?"

quaritch with a breeding kink! who talks absolute filth. it doesnt matter if you're on birth control while the two of you have sex, he's just so good with his words that he'll have you actually convinced he'll knock you up. Not that you'd mind, the only thing you can focus on in the heat of the moment is how stuffed you feel with his leaking tip pressed to your cervix. You'll happily comply if he tells you to beg for him to cum inside. (not that he'd ever willingly pull out, but that's besides the point) he'll have you mindlessly babbling on about how much you need him to fill you up with his load, how much of a good girl you've been for him, how much you want him to just put a baby in you already, all while he grins down at you with condescending satisfaction written over his handsome face.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who, after telling you to beg for him to breed your pretty, swollen pussy, goes on to shame you for being oh so desperate. He'll call you his dirty, needy cumslut, telling you how desperate you must be to beg your colonel, a man twice your age, for his babies. He's mean with it but it only makes you impossibly wetter around his cock, so maybe you really are just a needy whore for him after all

quaritch with a breeding kink! who praises you, after getting you all teary-eyed and shy form his degrading words, and tells you how pretty you'd look pregnant with his child. He paws at your breasts while talking about how he can't wait to see them heavy with sweet milk. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll take real good care of ya when you're pregnant with my kid. y'wont have to lift a finger, couldn't risk you gettin' hurt, darlin'"

quaritch with a breeding kink! who pushes his cock in so deep you're convinced he's in your throat when he cums, shooting rope after rope of thick, hot cum into your awaiting womb.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who loves creampies.

quaritch with a breeding kink! who also loves to eat you out after cumming inside to clean you up (and to get you ready for the next round because you better believe he's getting hard all over again at the taste of your mixed juices)

[pokemon-ash-aus]

Your Dead AU gives me brain rot. I dunno if this was asked yet or not, but I wanted to know your thoughts on Ash’s other rivals finding out about his status as deceased. Hypothetical what-it’s if you don’t honestly see them finding out for one reason or another in canon to the AU, but I’m curious as to your thoughts on how they’d find out.

I guess I should better specify Barry, Paul, Trip, and Alain, how they’d react to Ash’s being dead?

OKAY!;

Barry doesn't believe it at all. Even when given hard definitive truth, he's under the assumption that all of this? All this deadness? It's just a cruel prank that needs to be fined for!

Paul... I imagine Paul is the one to outright calling him pathetic for dying so soon. It's both malicious in intent and not.

He wants to call Ash Pathetic, he wants to make him hurt and make him feel inferior. He wants to revel that Ash will never succeed with the methods he's going by.

But Paul isnt a cruel person by nature. The moment he says it, he's filled wih so much dread and disgust. He just called a dead person pathetic for... For DYING, nothing on his actions or movements. He's just pathetic for dying.

He avoids Ash for awhile after that. Even when Ash instigates. It's just that much level of disgust with himself. Eventually he does apologize. I can see it being at the league. When he walks up to Ash after loosing their battle and apologizes without any eyes or ears around. He's not good at it.

"That really hurt me." Ash grimaces. "Ive never been called Pathetic for Dying..."

"Im sorry you felt that way." Paul tries. "I didnt mean to say it the way i did."

Its a lot of awkward dancing before Ash realizes Paul is really Socially inept and has to clarify. It's a shitty apology for a Shitty action, but Paul is absolutely trying and Ash cannot fault him for that.

Trip. See my bias shows here because I absolutely believe Trip is 100% an asshole Racist.

But would Trip insult Ash's dead status? I think so. I think he'd sprinkle it in with all his other racists remarks. Never outright outing him, but also never letting him forget that Trip KNOWS.

And fuck if that doesnt wear Ash down. And When Iris and Cilan find out, they back Ash up without a thought but it doesnt erase how much Trip taunts how Ash died. Doesnt erase that Trip continuously makes snide remarks about it.

I think this is the one and only time Ash truly uses his own abilities and powers to make Trip HURT.

And it doesnt even give him any satisfaction! Cause Trip had successfully made him feel disgusted by his own dead status. Something mind you, he had been over for fucking YEARS, by that point!

So yeah I think Trip is the worst one and my bias will not falter.

Alain. I imagine he finds out at the BRINK of Ash getting mind controlled. And he's fucking horrified. He truly does believe that He led Ash to his death and then his partner Pikachu as well.

Just fully goes into Shock after everything calms down.

He killed someone he considered a friend.

He killed them.

And Even through soft reassurances from everyone else, it weighs so heavily on his mind. It takes Ash slapping him for him to come back to a reality where he can actually understand what their saying.

And Then Ash explains it all, how he died, how long its been, and NO Alain did not kill him, but the backstabbing was painful as shit and that would take time for Ash to get over.

Alain both believes it and doesnt, but he's still horrified his friend is fucking DEAD.

[mickedy]

do you have strong feelings about minnie? the way disney writes her bothers me severely, i'm trying to find out how to write her better and i'd like help!

she's always written as nothing more than a mickey genderswap, they have the exact same character strengths and flaws, i want to write her like how ortensia is written to oswald or daisy is written to donald (in. ducktales 2017 at least when they dont feel like being . so toxic.), theyre character foils and they work better together

for example daisy is more practical and sassy and headstrong?? while donald isn't very practical he is very emotional and in the moment and isnt as ambitious as her he's just a guy

but minnie doesnt compliment mickey in any way their relationship is just Same Braincell Teehee

and its like every time disney TRIES to have friction between the two its usually making minnie less interesting than mickey in the sense he's going off the walls insane and she has to fold her arms and make him stop, w donald and daisy donald has to ground daisy sometimes but minnie can usually do no wrong ever??

i want to write minnie as mickey's foil in a similar way because she's always a copy and paste mickey and she deserves so so so much more, but im also worried that making a foil for mickey would stray too far from minnie's personality range?? which is why i keep referencing donald and daisy specifically because they have similar personalities but still manage to be foils, and i ALSO dont want to make her copy and paste ortensia, WHILE ALSO NOT MAKING HER JUST LESS INTERESTING MICKEY AS THEY DO SOMETIMES by just writing her as feminine mickey without the character flaws he has, so its a really weird balancing act here

You hit the nail on the head with a lot of points here. I've always found Minnie to be the MOST sidelined out of the 5 in terms of characterization. She's almost always written as "girl mickey", very interchangeable with him, not really developed with her own personality in mind independent of her relationship with Mickey.

I guess on a lot of levels I consider Minnie and Mickey to be like... really sturdy nuts. They have these extremely tough shells surrounding them, they are two of the most private people you will ever meet. Outwardly friendly, outwardly pretty boring and unemotional, a pretty vanilla flavored couple at any way you look at them.

But, we don't really get to see what goes on under that shell. What they're like in private. My favorite stories with Mickey are the ones where they crack open the shell, even just a smidge-- and we get to look on the inside. What we see is almost always the same. Above all else, Mickey cares about his friends. Mickey cares about his friends so much that he would take a bullet for each of them. He would give up everything. Friendship means more than anything else to Mickey Mouse.

On the flipside, we don't really get that same introspection with Minnie. I can't think of a time where they let her be emotional, like that. She's sweet and patient and polite and filled to the brim with goodness and kindness, but that's just what her shell looks like. She's very, very reserved. Like Mickey, maybe even moreso.

A lot of this is definitely because the writers don't really care about Minnie on that level, because she's Woman and she's Girlboss and whatnot. When they show her being emotional, it's pretty much always played up for laughs because Women Are Emotional amiright wink wink nudge nudge 😁🔫 <- (he does not know he is playing into misogynistic tropes)

But I like to think she just has these incredibly sturdy walls around her character. You will most likely never get to see what her private self is like in the entire time that you know her. I seriously doubt Minnie's actual friends know that much about her.

Mickey cares about his friends, but what does Minnie care about...? Where Mickey is an optimist, I consider Minnie to be a pessimist. That is a very strange claim to make, I know. But I think the reason we never see her walls break down is because... there'd just be more walls. She's such an incredibly reserved individual, she'd rather stick her hand in a paper shredder than admit that she's got feelings.

She's pretty no-nonsense in that regard, too. Mickey is a compassionate guy, but Minnie is more quick to lash out and start kicking and yelling when someone pisses her off. Tying back to the whole "friendship is Mickey's emotional core" thing... friendship is definitely not Minnie's.

I'm not saying she's not friendly. She's incredibly friendly! She's such a sweet and affectionate individual. But it's all very much an outward thing. I think, if you're looking for a "foil", that's definitely where they clash in that regard. Mickey is a plain, unassuming guy who-- at his core-- is sweet and silly and compassionate, and motivated by his love for his friends. Minnie is outwardly sweet and silly and compassionate, but doesn't have that same motivating factor, the deeper you look.

In the end, this is all really my interpretation of Minnie's character. Because she is definitely a victim of misogynistic writing, which sucks 🤷‍♀️ But I do think there is a lot of potential to make her and Mickey clash a lot more often than they're shown to... because, they don't really show themselves to anybody! That sort of intimate exploration of their character is something that really only comes out with each other. Which leaves a lot of room to mold their inner personalities into something much more interesting...

[thoundcarriers]

 tis a very old au of mine about sniper who's lived all his 27 years in New Zealand and never got to be a mercenary. read more insanity under the cut lolol

in this universe, his biological father got inside the capsule instead of little Mun-dee. an hour later, he crashed somewhere in Australia and died. on the next day, some old married couple found his body and buried him on the lonely hill. Mundy and his mother never got to know what happened to him, and the latter did not give a single shit about it.

raised with the weird feeling of being lost and bitter taste of hatred of his mother towards the man who left them in an underwater cage, Mick tries his best to recover the schemes of his biological father, hoping for the opportunity of escaping, too. years later, he finds nothing and gives up. nor that he had any skills for engineering, too.

on the day of his 27th birthday, an unknown ship hovers above the glass dome of the city, and a female voice on the communication lines politely demands him to climb into the cabin this instant.

spy and pauling are happy beyond themselves - they finally found him. the sniper, even though he's clearly not remembering his past self. but they hope that he comes back to his original self eventually.

poor lad is confused and nervous, he's expected to know stuff he never did. he's told that as soon as he gets into it, he'll be back in no time. the problem is that he has never held a sniper rifle in his life, not mentioning about killing someone.

ms p comes up with a wonderful idea - his parents that adopted him must be still alive in that universe. there's no better teacher at shooting stuff than the Mick's papa himself. the only thing left to do is to convince them that Mick is actually their son somewhere in another world. and if they don't agree to help, it'd all be lost to hell. pretty easy!

surprisingly, the gang handle the old couple well after finding their village and introducing themselves. the old man doesn't trust them, always squinting and spitting behind their backs. yet there's the only thing he likes about that lanky guy - he doesn't complain much, spending hours under australian sun and soaking wet with sweat in his weird purple shirt, while learning the grounds of weaponry. miss mundy is on the contrary - really happy to have guests in their village and is pretty supportive of the young man she knows only for a moment.

for a moment, Mick catches the sight of someone's grave in the distance in his lense. for some reason, it fills him with rage he never felt, and it fuels him to train even more. i know i know most of it doesnt even make fucking sense. but let me dream aight. tagged as 'left alone au' on my blog is u wanna look up for some old cringe

[galacticleague]

speaking my truth on npmd because im thinking about this alot. i think the reason it falls flatter than tgwdlm and bf as a musical is that tgwdlm and bf have a running theme — want.

(whole thing undercut)

the cast of tgwdlm want human connection - charlotte wants sam to love her, bill wants alice to love him, mr davidson wants his wife to choke him while he jerks off etc etc, and eventually paul goes from 'i want what anyone wants, money, kids, a partner maybe idk' to - to put it simply - wanting emma (putting it very simply, if i went into detail this post would go off the rails). this switch is what makes him vulnerable to the hive and this want to live and to survive and to be happy with emma is satiated by pokey by giving him the connection he craves via hivemind, this is how it works for everyone. they want to be happy, pokey makes them happy by removing any need to want anything in the first place.

similarly, in bf, the adults of hatchetfield are still miserable and they want to be happy, they have this void within them that they feel they need to fill with products and consumerism. if they buy this stupid fucking doll their kids will love them, they will be happy, etc etc. and this want to be happy is similarly satiated by wiggly via the cult - they have something to worship, or - in lindas case - people who worship them. they have purpose, or at least they think they do, but whether their problems have actually been solved or not - they are still content.

but in npmd, this is less solid. theres that bit where they have to sacrifice what they want the most, but this is near the end. its kind of all over the place, and this wobbliness(?) is sort of just emphasised by the fact that there is no specific lord in black, its all of them. now i loved the summoning when i first watched it because im obviously a huge hatchetfield fan so i like. know who these characters are but as ive seen others say, alot of npmd does rely on knowing hatchetfield lore - understanding injokes. and in hindsight it just... isnt great for the cohesion of the plot.

tgwdlm and bf both have specific themes, specific lords in black, they have subplots but they have a solid throughline that is easier to follow. to me, npmd feels like its all over the place and it just feels kind of...mid for lack of a better word.

i think there were some moments that were just kind jarring? i guess? like if i loved you coming directly after ruths death was really strange, tonally. i wish they spent more time on ruths death tbh she deserved better. richie got two songs and an opening scene. anyways i digress- i feel like whenever i think about it im always like. i just wanted More. which is weird cuz its already like 2 hours long but idk. IDK!!! if i loved definitely felt unnecessary to me- like just conflict out of nowhere. i would have liked more build up to it. maybe im just salty that it took up stagetime that could have been used to grieve ruth but. sorry for the random if i loved you slander i think my point here is that some moments and some subplots felt more tropey, injokey or like fanservice??but not in a sexual way?? - is that the right word to use idk - than actual compelling plot moments. tgwdlm is an incredible work of theatre and uses subversions of tropes to communicate a great story, bf is a detailed criticism of american consumerism and how capitalistic societies force people to rely on products to make their lives better, npmd is. high school drama with ghosts. it just doesnt hit as hard on its own.

i dont want to be one of those "im a better writer, and THIS is how i would have done it!!!! im going to fix this!!!" people so im not going to do that but i think something i would have liked to see was focus on just one lord in black, probably nibbly because i feel like he fits the most and has the least preexisting story. i mean for gods sake, why does wiggly have the most speech time out of all the lords in black again!!! he already has an entire musical about him!!! greedy bitch- well i guess thats kind of his thing. i think i just want to see more of nibbly tbh, he has one nmt story and he only shows up at the very end. anyways that was kind of a side rant sorry gang. there isnt a problem with having a story featuring all the lords in black, but i think it just doesnt quite work in npmd for like structural reasons as well as plot cohesion.

i did enjoy npmd, im not pretending i didnt, but narratively it is the weakest hatchetfield musical and i just wanted to put my finger on what it is specifically. please dont take this as like hate or slander, i am a huge starkid fan, but i think it is important to consume media critically.

also i am not a professional i am a teenage drama and english lit student who likes media analysis and narrative design so just. take everything i say with a grain of salt :)

if you read all this, thankyou and if you disagree please lmk what you think(civilly.i do not want discourse in my notes)!! i could be hugely wrong about this and just need to think more about npmd and id love to see others' analyses!

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

hhi could i. could i ask if you have any portal ford headcanons im being insane about him right now and your headcanons are So 💥‼️🎉🌈💥/pos

hi hello hows it goin

-he didn't get all of his tattoos in one sitting, and he actually has a few he gave to himself. some of the tattoos look like normal earth tattoos, but theres also a few that have cool effects to them. color-changing, moving slightly, shapeshifting from one creature to another, etc. etc.

-he gave himself a little sailboat tattoo in case he ever lost the photo. he also gave himself an axolotl after he met Jheselbraum

-when he was fresh into the portal, hed join other interdimensional travelers, make companions...he stopped after a while because the grief he felt every time he inevitably lost them became too much. he still misses the ones he did have, though. he gave himself a constellation tattoo to remember them- a star for each one.

-he has perhaps too many tattoos. most of them end up being covered up by scars, though

-speaking of scars- ford lost his right arm sometime while he was in the portal. An "anomaly" bit it off. He has a prosthetic now (in the future, he's going to keep forgetting to mention this to stan. which is. definitely not going to cause any problems at all (sarcastic))

-he has several scars that either look weird (slightly glow-in-the-dark, shimmers, etc.) or healed in strange patterns because they were caused by weapons very much not intended to interact with human flesh

-he has a lot of "speckle" scars all over him. theyre from corrosive rain

-Jheselbraum has been thoroughly established as a sort of secondary mother figure in his mind. She has also been given this role by many, many other versions of Ford. she is the space mom

-he once met a moth version of himself who borrowed a gun from him and never gave it back. hes still upset about that. no, he has not realized the connection

-he once held a full conversation with another version of stan without noticing who he was talking to. in his defense, it was dark out

-at some point, he developed a tapetum lucidum and nictitating membranes. this is the incredibly self-indulgent biology-hyperfixation-induced headcanon

-he thinks he can handle smoke and toxic air better because of how much time hes spent not being able to breathe properly. its actually made him more sensitive to things like that

-he has gotten better at not being poisoned though. this comes from years of eating random mushrooms and plants and bug-adjacent creatures. this doesnt apply to raw meat as much, but he can definitely handle it better than most other humans

-every now and then, the hyperfixation excitement will outweigh how horrible he feels all the time and he'll just end up staring at some sort of weird creature and taking mental notes about it for a really long time

-sometimes he'll name random creatures he sees just to kill time. waiting for your food to finish cooking? give your local fish-bird-thing a name

-he doesnt know this, but hes actually seen a few creatures that are considered cryptids in those dimensions

-his favorite dimensions are the ones filled with wildlife and starry skies and vibrant colors. theyre not nearly as common as youd think they are

-hes gotten more used to speaking non-earth languages than earth-languages. as such, hes started using lots of phrases that have...interesting translations in english

-he forgets how to speak sometimes. it used to be more distressing, but he doesnt typically come across many creatures that can understand language anyway. its more of an annoyance than anything at this point

-hes gotten really good at mimicking the calls of other creatures. really good. possibly too good (he will use this power for evil in the future. to terrorize his brother with seagull noises)

-this is technically post-portal, but he adapts the creatures hes seen into homebrew enemies and races in his DD&MD campaigns

-also post-portal, but he'll sometimes forget that that weird thing hes looking at is. yknow. weird and not just a normal part of life in this dimension. this is one of the two reasons why he asks stan to point out anomalies to him

[the-s1lly-corner]

HELLO HI HI

dlfkwkfowowo im secretly staking ur blog

if this is okay with you…

could there perhaps be a tadc x reader who smiles… but like all the time

like no matter what happens, reader always has a smile on their face to never show weakness!

this can come off as creepy because the only thing fhat you always see is their smile, they never frown, or anything like that

feel free to ignore this though if you aren’t interested! take care! <3

TADC cast x reader who always smiles!

gm everyone its 6 in the morning and the admin woke up at around 2am, unable to go back to sleep.... sooooooooooooo.... yeah! gonna answer a few requests then imma make breakfast, work on art, and hopefully work on more requests! might make cookies again today.... we'll see!

CAINE:

completely unphased by any creepiness of your perma smile, in fact he would go on to compliment it anytime he sees it... which is... all the time.... whether your smile is permanent due to your digital body, or you willingly choose to smile all the time.. doesnt matter to him, hes going to let you know that he loves how you look! doesnt raise a brow when it doesnt falter in the phase of danger or stress, probably thinks thats... only slightly strange, but not anything to raise any questions... you know? pretty much ai not fully understanding humans deal with that one

POMNI:

genuinely freaked out by it because it can get.. unnerving at times especially if youre quiet. like can you imagine you just slink into the room and youre just. smiling. god she would probably jump a few feet into the air when she finally notices you.... not cool, reader!/lh

nervously smiles back, though she does relax a little when she gets to know you better and why you smile all the time, eventually getting over her fear for the most part! though, i think she would gently push for you to let the smile drop every now and then

RAGATHA:

assuming she knows you do it to not be vulnerable you can bet your ass shes going to try to get you to let your walls down around her, lets you have alone time with her and reassures you that theres nothing wrong in having a moment of weakness. things like that. though, she may come off as pushy just know that she means no harm. like pomni, when first getting used to you/getting to know you i think she would be a little put off by your perma-smile but soon grows used to it. much faster than pomni does, i think

JAX:

probably teases you about it and gives you nicknames for it/being perceived as happy and cheerful... perhaps keeps it up even after he finds out why you do it/puts the pieces together himself. though, he doesnt try to get you to open up, since thats a you issue and jax doesnt seem like the type to have you take a step towards that since it seems to be working for you. sooooo... honestly i think he would still smile too, only because he knows it unnerves some of the other circus members. not at all for the same reason you do it so take that as you will

KINGER:

honestly depending on how the smile looks (normal, or perhaps stretched wide) it might dip into a sort of uncanny valley for him... actually, even if it looked normal, seeing someone just smiling all the time can put anyone off, i think. especially someone like kinger whos always paranoid about something terrible happening... definitely going to have to either drop the smile around him or fill him in on everything. do i think he would be rude and/or run away at the mere sight of you? definitely not, especially if you guys are friends/partners, but hes definitely going to be a little anxious on bad days the first few weeks he knows you, you know?

ZOOBLE:

doesnt really care either way. does think the smile is a little creepy, though. but that doesnt exactly mean its a bad thing, in fact they think its cool. interesting. different. admin likes to headcannon that zooble was into horror/disturbing stuff so something like this might be up their alley, reasoning for the smile aside. though, i do think they would have a little pause if they find out your reasoning... mostly only if you guys are close since otherwise they brush it off as its not their business. buuuuuut... if you are close, they probably tell you theres nothing wrong in being vulnerable, at least in their own way which may come off as sarcastic.. so !

GANGLE:

i was about to say that she would be put off by it, but honestly? she gets it. i saw somewhere/someone said that gangles masks are like metaphors/comedy mask is a false thing and shes not ACTUALLY happy or confident with it on.. if i had the post id link it but </3

out of all of them i think... with her, youre the most likely to drop your own mask and open up to her, at least with the most ease because you guys can relate to one another. sure, gangle has her masks for a different reason (as well as them simply being a part of her digital body), but you guys can still relate and find solidarity in one another

[clumsyexpression]

⤺ All in a Name⤻

Some nicknames that One Piece Men find to be terms of endearment, much to your dismay ❤

also interpret some of these...however you may ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ace: Hot Pocket

His favorite and most delicious go-to snack that he could have 17 times a day every day and never get tired of because he loves them so so much. He doesn’t discriminate on any of the flavors nor does he care how long its been in the freezer aka doesnt care if it's freezer burnt to oblivion when he has to reach super far back in his secret stash and when he accidentally overcooks one in the microwave, it still tastes just as good – having a super hot, goopy mess makes it all the better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Corazon: Y/N, Y/N, bo-banie, Bonana-fanna fo-fanie, Fee fi mo-manie ~ Y/N!

He loves cute names and he loves passcodes so it kinda works in tandem. Yes, he sings the whole song, depending on how much of it you allow him to finish

Crocodile: Alligator

You deadass came up with this yourself and he’s never used it once. I mean, yeah, he still sees you later, but never will you be able to make this man say this, or ever call you a gator.

Franky: Jane

‘It’s just like that one Jim Carrey movie if you think about it!’ Everything is like a Jim Carrey movie to him. And if you were his partner-in-crime, your name – personality notwithstanding – is automatically Jane…..like in that one Jim Carrey movie.

Katakuri: Lofthouse Cookie

It’s a highly controversial topic for the both of you. He claims that they do indeed taste good, you say they are the abomination of the dessert world – if you could even really call it food. I dunno, that’s between yall. But the sentiment is there lol

Kid: Socket Wrench

Very handy and capable of doing many jobs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Killer: Ravioli-Ravioli-Give-Me-the-Formuoli

It doesn’t get much better than pasta nor does it matter what kind. But ravioli is stuffed with good stuff and is more filling, as are you to him.

Kuzan: Bazoongas

‘Why? What’s wrong with that? Everybody loves bazoongas. I love bazoongas. I love you. Bazoongas.’

Law:  Dihydroxyphenyl

Because he’s not very forthcoming with his feelings, he likes to make you figure it out. Will vacillate between cholecalciferol and the other obnoxiously named chemical compounds that compose Omega-3 Fatty Acids. They’re all good for the heart, and even though he may not outright say it in layman’s terms, that’s what he means. ‘Cholecalciferol-ya, I need another dose.’ ‘I could use some of my Eicosapentaenoic acid-ya right about now.’

Luffy: Number 9

Cause a Number 9 on any menu never disappoints and will always make him happy, regardless of what life brings. Even if y'all somehow end up in a fancy schmancy restaurant, the 9th item on the menu is the go-to though most of the time he doesn’t even count lmao

Marco: Berdst Friend

Totally just a cute punny name, absolutely not what it actually references

Mihawk: Jalapeño Popper

You’re very spicy and what’s better than you to complement a glass of wine?? Can you guys tell that I don’t drink or smoke pffft

Sanji: Egg

They are supposedly aphrodisiacs and like, people eat them in everything. You have the same effect on him, so there’s no better nickname that’s more fitting ♡ according to him

Smoker: Marlboro Lights 100s

His first love before cigars. Will always hold a special spot in his heart. But forreal tho – why do people by these up?? Really don’t miss those days having to sell’em lmao

Usopp: Hacky Sack

Hacky sacks would make perfect ammunition for his slingshots, but he could never because he couldn’t bear to cast something so personable and cozy like that away – even against an enemy maybe – and that’s the same regard he has for you.

X Drake: Sarah, Plain and Tall

Not so much a nickname rather than something he has to mutter under his breath to keep it together. Just..try not to flash any more skin than you already are and everything should be gravy.

Zoro: Swiss Army Knife

He doesn’t really call things cute or adorable, but you know what he means when he calls you his little Swiss Army Knife cause they’re super cute and have so much going on, but you would never know it at first glance..unless..you know…show all your goods and what you can do by bearing it all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[strawbs-screaming]

☆ How The Boxers Drive ☆

made this bc evil (im running out of excuses) this has been rotting in my queue for a while now

Glass Joe

- Really paranoid, i dont blame him cars are really flammable

- will panic if even one scratch gets on his car

- Just really careful with where he parks & when he parks

- if anything suspicious is on his windshield he'll panic because what if its used to mark him for something

-you know how moms go "slow down your gonna crash!!" if you speed up while driving? Yeah thats him

Von Kaiser

- unhinged driver, he'll go 50 kilometers a hour with the most bored expression ever

- put on your seatbelts because he loves to take sudden turns

- you have to hold on for dear life to anything because he doesnt understand what the words "slow down" means

- do not turn on the lights, just dont or he'll literally hiss at you

- driving like hes in a police chase, damn peepaw slow down

Disco Kid

- blasting his ears out + also going ridiculously fast

- you better hope the radio stops after a crash or you'll die to california girls

- doesnt do sudden turns thankfully

- drives even faster at nighttime, disco is really out for blood

- dont even bother honking at him, he cant hear you over his 92827298272 hour playlist

King Hippo

- he cant drive, what are you all on

- no literally, even if he could find a car to fit him, he still wouldnt be able to operate it

- too overwhelming for him anyways

- He gets carsick too easily

Piston Hondo

- actually responsible & obeys traffic laws (LIKE A LOSER!! BOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO RUN OVER PEOPLE INSTEAD!!)

- cant listen to music while driving, it just doesnt work for him

- if you honk at him he'll stare into your soul

- actually reading the road signs (LIKE A NERD!! BOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO THE LAW SUCKS)

- overall responsible driver

Great Tiger

- another driver from hell

- honks to communicate with people, at some point you'll have to consider ripping off the steering wheel or your ears

- blasting his music, he has damaged hearing because of that

- speed limits are for cowards,he'll gladly go 100 in a 30 zone

- reading road signs but not caring at all

Bear Hugger

- oh no.

- okay driver but wont shut up, bear we get it you shouldnt piss off or piss ON a moose you couldve ended it there

- eating snacks in the backseat makes him do the ultimate dad move™ (the hand thingy dads do when you eat snacks)

- "yeah you can push those to the side make yourself comfortable" as his backseat is filled with maple syrup bottles, a pair of moose antlers and the weirdest shit you can imagine, bear im really sure you dont need a entire ass stop sign

- doesnt speed but takes sudden turns way too often for your stomach to stay in one piece (can we get much higherrr, so highhh)

- also honks to communicate

Don Flamenco

- this fucking menace needs to be stopped

- He sings in the car, Don nobody needs to hear you sing poker face please dont crash

- unintentionally speeding, always 5 km over the speed limit

- holy shit he needs his license taken away

- He texts while driving, how worse can you get??

- you know "get in loser, we're going shopping."? yeah thats him whenever he comes to pick someone up

- Does more singing than driving

Aran Ryan

- wait what

- He actually obeys traffic laws & is okay with speed limits? What a switch

- He knows how to shut up too

- He may be a nuisance but he keeps it off the road because nuh uh no one is dying in a car crash today

- has sobbed in his car multiple times (mostly while driving) thats the most you can get him

- him & his car have been through thick and thin, he has laughed in that car, cried in that car, screamed in that car, sung in that car, he has went through everything with his car, it legally counts as an artifact

Soda Popinski

- license, on the kitchen table, NOW.

- he used to drive when drunk when he was a alcoholic (hence his past name, vodka drunkenski)

- doesnt use any kind of navigation when driving, he uses his gut feelings & they either: work, fail miserably or have you end up in a seperate country and either way its concerning

- has crashed into multiple signs & trees

- speeds when bored

- oh my god this man is a mess

Bald Bull

- calm the fuck down

- same deal as kaiser, unhinged driver with the most bored expression ever while asking you "how was your day?" like dude please slow down

- hes the reason the term road rage exists

- will gladly get out of the car to fight someone

- honking at him is a one way ticket to fucking die - land

- i hope awkward conversations are your thing because he'll try to do a icebreaker and ask stuff

- keep the lights off unless its the night or he'll chuck you out of the car like you're a McDonald's™ napkin

Super Macho Man

- jail.

- hes driving on the sidewalk. DRIVING ON THE SIDE FUCKING WALK.

- drives even if hes tired

-suprisingly brash with his car considering it costs a fortune

- He didnt hit the street lamp, it hit him

- blasting the worst music ever as he goes through a quiet neighborhood at 3 am

Mr Sandman

- oh my god finally a good driver

- hes a law abiding citizen

- hes the only one allowed to drive

- the only thing you can get him on is slamming his car door a little too hard but thats better than going 92827281962629912619916281972729229 in a 30 km zone or stopping halfway through to fight someone

- will not talk, ever.

- hes the first option when the wvba needs to ride somewhere and cant find a driver

[sublimecatgalaxy]

hey babe may i request a blurb\fic of Rafe x Pogue!reader where theyre secretely fucking and JJ calls her while theyre doing it and rafe tells her to pick it up and doesnt stop hile on the call

LOOOVE. Also some of my tags still aren't working but more worked this time than last time so. Win.

"What did I say about turning your phone off?" Rafe growls in my ear, hips suddenly stalling against mine as I cling to him, broken sobs leaving me as I wiggle my hips against his, needing him to do anything, something. "Hmm? What did I say?" He leans back from where he was tucked into my shoulder, arms caging me in. His nose brushes against mine, the softness of the gesture being a complete contrast to how he's handled me the last forty minutes.

"To turn it off- you said to turn it off." I gasp, nails digging into his bicep as he hisses, eyes flickering to look down to look at the crescent shaped marks in his tan skin. "I'm sorry, Rafe- please I'll turn it off. Just- fuck- do something-" His fingers wrap firmly around my throat and his hips slowly cant against mine once more, the fullness making my head a lot less noisy as he whispers against my cheek.

"If it rings again, you answer it." He orders and my eyes widen, chin tilting so I can get a better look at him, double checking to see if he's actually serious. "You heard me." He mutters, dragging his lips against the column of my throat and he finally gives in to what I want. His hands wrap around my bruised thighs, tugging me to the end of the bed, his cock hitting the deepest that he ever has. My jaw drops in a silent moan, completely overwhelmed by the new angle but he doesn't give me a chance to adjust but just snaps his hips against mine.

A cute, pink blush crawls all the way down his cheeks to his chest and his parted lips are swollen from me incessantly biting at them for hours on end but some how, the sweat and the exhaustion makes him look even more enticing. We haven't seen each other in weeks because of his family and their lack of awareness when it comes to our secret relationship so tonight has been built up through the phone and over text for days on end.

It's safe to say he's living up to his promises.

Before I can tell him how good it feels, my rington fills the space around us. My eyes widen frantically, hands reaching to grab the loud device but Rafe beats me to it, not bothering to stop his thrusts as he holds the phone out to me. JJ's name is written across the screen and I feel my stomach drop, pitiful, tearful moans escaping me as I shake my head.

"Answer it." He orders once more with a bright smile, satisfaction filling him at the thought of fucking me while on the phone with the man he hates the most. I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself as I press the answer button, holding the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I stutter, hearing JJ laugh from across the line.

"I have been calling you non-stop dude, where the hell are you?" He asks, music booming from the other line as I try to separate myself from the pleasure wracking through my body, my eyes locking on Rafe's fingers that dance across my swollen clit.

"I've been busy. I'm not feeling too good so I've been holed up in my room all day." I mutter with a quiet sniffle, concealing a loud moan with a cough instead.

"Awe man that sucks. Must because you hang out with all those kook assholes and all their snotty kids." He laughs, coughing immediately after he's done talking, presumably because he's smoking which makes me feel a little less guitly about my current situation.

If anything happens, I'll blame it on his love for marijuana and his lack of attention.

"Yeah definitely." I sigh, reaching out to grab onto Rafe's wrist but he just bats me away, wanting nothing but to bring me as close to the edge as possible. My hips stutter against his and I bite at my lip, hearing JJ hum to the music over the line.

"Well you're lame tonight. Go get some rest or smoke a joint- I don't know. I'm gonna go bother someone else." He huffs with a quiet laugh, ending the call before I can and I immediately toss the phone across the room, the plastic clattering against the wood flooring of Rafe's bedroom.

"I fucking love you." Rafe groans proudly and hoists me into his arms, his biceps curling around my back to hold me tightly to his chest, not giving me an inch of free space to writhe against him as he pounds into me. He doesn't hesitate to press heated kisses to my shoulder as I thank him over and over again, my orgasm trembling through me as he bottoms out.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy

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[aroseformyself]

hi dear~ so ya khow i just found you with pure luck and i fell in love if find some free time could you write yandere mafia tweels pleas / maby part two for rent with a little nsfw aaaaw both of them together! >///< i wish you a nice day or night .

a/n: i actually didnt know whether or not if i should continue the rent writing, but you asked so…

Rent.

PART 2

Summary: getting thrown out of your apartment for late bills while in LA, possibly the best place people come to get laid, isn’t what you had in mind, but a freaky twist comes into play when your “friend” Jack Howl reveals that someone has been staring at you for weeks. (yandere)

⚠️warnings: yandere, threats, mentions of violence, jealousy, drug use, NSFW, noncon, no magic, modern au, blackmail, language, possible mix of tense

reader sex not specified.

when you wake, you are still on the bed you were when you got knocked out…

abruptly, your memories come flooding in and you recall getting kidnapped. by the twins slave or agent? you don’t know all you can think about is getting out of this place.

thinking about it has made you even more confused, where exactly are you?

you remember Floyd wishing you goodnight so you have to be somewhere Jade and Floyd maybe live? or a bunker type thing?

you hope not, that would make it harder to escape. you try to get up, but as soon as you do you are hit with nausea.

you wobble for a good minute, trying to blink away the feeling when the door bursts open. the sound making you jolt, but at least the nausea is gone.

you snap your head around to see Floyd standing there looking at you with an utterly pissed expression.

but in an instant, his face fills with joy like a puppy. you have no time to get out of his way before he tackles you into a hug, his sharp teeth dangerously close to you.

he grins wide, reminding you of the chesire cat, and spins around, “shrimpy! ive missed you so much!”

your senses heighten when you hear the nickname. he always called you that when you were together and, now that you think about it, its awkward how hes still using it.

you decide its not worth the argument, all you wanna do is get out of here, “Floyd,” you say, making sure to get his attention, “where is my phone? i have to go.”

Floyd sets you down and pretends to think, making the iconic pose. he looked to be eyeing the door which made you a little nervous, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “i don’t know, shrimpy, Jade said he took it somewhere.” he shrugged.

“while we wait what have ya been up to?” Floyd sat on the bed, watching you glare at him with a smile, “i heard from jade you work at a little cafe now? well not that it matters…” he muttered the last part under his breath.

“what was that last thing?” you ask, even though you knw fully well what he had stated.

“well since you live here now it doesnt matter, you boss knows you got no where to stay, so your job is toast, anyways.” Floyd said, shrugging his shoulders and looking away unbothered.

“i’m not living here Floyd!” you huff out angrily, “Jade better come back with my phone.” you utter, gritting your teeth.

“haha! shrimpy~ you don’t have another coice!” he said, laughing in between sentences, “you have no house, no job, no fam—”

“speaking of family, who is Jack Howl to you?” Floyf entire demeanor changed in an instant, he grabbed your shoulder and stood from the bed, towering over you.

“he kept calling you phone over and over.. i was starting to think i would have to deal with someone again, shrimpy~” you were terrified, the last time Floyd went to “deal” with someone who had hurt you in school, they were black and blue next time you saw them.

your eyes widened, “don’t hurt him, were just friends! and stop calling me that, we broke up!” you yell at him, trying to push him away.

Floyd’s grip on your shoulders tightened, his face turned sour, “oh? and if i killed grim, would you still think like that?” Floyd turned his head, a couple joints cracking.

you stop struggling, what is wrong with me?! i forgot about grim!

“good. shrim-py.” Floyd said, leaning in closer, but his movements stopped when you both heard a noise.

“my apologies for showing up late.” Jade entered the room shuting the door behind him and locking it with a key. “Floyd. if you scare them to much they might end up running again.”

you noted how he was carrying a plate with pancakes, eggs, and strawberries on it. and you couldn’t help but think, is that for me?

Jade ushered Floyd to let you go and told you to sit back on the bed. he forcefully semi pushed you onto the bed.

“eat up. we can’t have you dying of starvation, now can we?”

you feel numb. they were so nice, yet they kidnapped you. and now they are acting like your a couple..

well Jade did always seem interested in you. but Floyd always wanted to be alone with you.

you turn your head to the side, refusing the food placed infront of you. for all you know they could have poisoned it!

Jade took notice of this and decided it was best not to force you to eat, well at least thats what you thought.

“Y/n. i understand you do not trist us, but when was the last time you eated a proper meal?” you did not answer, Jade sighed and then got am idea, a horrible, terrible, awful idea.

Jade shot Floyd a glance Floyd shot Jade a glance.

Jade scooted you over and sat besdie you, Floyd sitting on the other side.

Jade took the fork and ate a piece of the pancakes, to which you would have backed up if mot for the headboard and Floyd. you aren’t dumb, you know what hes doing, you’ve read your fair share of wattpad.

Floyd locks his arms around you, grinning on your shoulder, “Looks like shrimpy knows whats up!”

you close your mouth tighty, but Jade still smashes his lips onto yours. when you dont open them, Floyd pinches you hard. making you let out a yelp, Jade takes the opportunity to push the pancake into you mouth, he quickly puts his hand over your face and closes your nose so you can’t breathe.

you eyes tear up, but you chew anyways. something weird happened to the pancakes because when you swallow, the pancake goes down slowly and it feels warm.

“How’d it taste, shrimpy? any poison?” you know Floyd is teasing you with the nickname.

“fine…” you mumble, taking the fork and pushing the twins away from you, you eat the pancakes and strawberries/eggs in a few minutes. ignoring the way Floyd faked falling onto the ground with a hurt cry.

you could only hope that Grim and Jack are okay.

you hear the subtle whsipers of Jade and Floyd behind you, and turn around, “what are you saying!”

“oh, nothing of your concern.” Jade assures you.

you turn back around, you need to think of a plan to get out of here but you come up emtpy. sure you could try to just run out and throw the plate and form at them, but they probably have gaurds, they’re rich! plus if they caught you then they’d just be pissed off. trying to escape at night would make sense but again the gaurds. this room has no windows and you don’t have any of you stuff so you’d have to jump even if it did. you don’t have your phone. you could try to pursuade them?

a headache kicked in out of nowhere and you suddnely found it hard to focus, “ughh..” you hold you head in your hands, your legs coming up and you find yourself sitting in fatal position.

“w-what the…” dizziness has kicked in, and your body started feelign warm, a little too warm.

you cma hear the twins laughing quietly, “so naive…” Jade starts, “you ate one bite and it was fine so whats the problem with taking multiple, huh?” he said, condescendingly.

tears clouded your vision it was to hot amd though you could barely think, you noticed how it was especially hot in your nether region.

“wha- what did—” a ringing sound buzze din your ears.

”oho! whaddya know! its Jackie! go on and answer it, Y/n!” Floyd announced, handing over your phone.

but i can barely say anything.. you think, your mind still hazy.

you clicked on the phone after missing a couple times, finally answering the call, “H-helloo?” you voiced as best you could, but your voice came out slurred. or as if you were drunk.

“Y/n?! are you okay? i called multiple times amd you didnt answer!”

“Ye-ahh~” you reply, but your response is cut short by Floyd’s hand going down your pants.

he strokes your bits, running his hand up and down and up and down.

you move your phone away form your mouth so you can tell him to knock it off, but it just comes out as little mewls.

Jade comes up behind you to and starts whispering sweet nothings in your ear while rubbing your back, as if wanting to put you to sleep.

“Y/n?” Jack calls form the other side, trying to figure out what is wrong with you, “are you good?”

“Yeah-..Yep! sorry for not—answering!” you speak quickly wanting the call the be over.

“alright, are you still coming over?”

Floyd starts circling your hole with one finger, dipping in the slender and cold finger, making you shiver, but it also feels oddly calming.

after a while of Floyd fingering you he added another finger making you bite your bottom lip. Floyd nips at your neck, biting down hard, “yes! er.. yes.”

“maybe hanging up on him would be a good idea, unless you want him to hear you screaming.” Jade nips at your ear.

Floyd pace quickly sped up, his fingers moving in and out at a rapid pace, “ngh!~” you came, and you feel oddly relaxed, you lean back on Jade, who rubs your thigh and kisses your shoulder, mumbling about how you did good.

“i ha-ve to go..” and with that you hung up on Jack. feeling awkward as ever since your oretty sure he heard you moan.

Floyd grins wide when he finds the sticky white liquid in your pants, “shrimpy!” he says cheekly, bringing his hand up to his mouth and licking your cum off his hand, “salty! wanna taste?” you weakly shake your head.

but Floyd doesn’t take no for an answer, Floyd leaned down towards your face, and Jade held you still so you couldnt move.

“Floyd!” Floyd pressed his lips angainst your rather harshly, biting your lip the same way and forcing you to taste your essence.

it does taste salty.

you begin to push on Floyds shoulders, it was getting a little hard to breathe, the tears you’d been holding back fell as Floyd didn’t let you go.

but eventually Jade flicked Floyd’s forehead, “Floyd, they were suffocating.”

Jade wipes your tears and turns you around, slowly undressing you before their very eyes. first your shirt, and taking off your clothes actually somewhat helped the burning heat in your lower stomach.

maybe its for the best, and if i wake up earlier than them maybe i can take the key and escape! you now had a plan formed in your head.

your clothes are off and Jade hurts! your being streched, and he’s not moving either he and Floyd are just talking like your aren’t even there.

you feel another orgasm coming your bits are sore, you’ve came a total of three times tonight, once on Floyd’s fingers and already once with Jade, and another is coming.

Jade rolls his hips ever so gently, watching as you hide your face in his neck and come, “aww! shrimpy’s still sensitive from coming, eh?” Floyd states, poking your back.

“i wonder what you’ll be like when you take both of us.” Floyd grins evilly as you jolt.

you didn’t know how long it went on. but Jade and Floyd had you fucked out by the end. you peacefully slept, curling up with one of the jackets around you, your not sure which.

you don’t know how long it’s been but you need to leave quick. you sit up after peeling yourselves form the twins grip, scooting off the bed and onto the floor, where their clothes sat, you checked Jade’s pockets for the key, silently celebrating once you found it.

you stood on wobbly legs, stumbling over to the door and feel a liquid running down your thighs, you hug them together. you couldn’t find your underwear but you did find your pants, and hoodie. you swiftly put them on and unlocked the door.

but as you reached for the doorknob someones hand already had found it.

“although you look cute all messy, i can’t stop myself from getting mad at you for leaving us like we were a one night stand, shrimpy.” Floyd said, his other hand hitting the door next to your head.

“Trust us when we tell you.” they said in sync, “you aren’t leaving again.”

holy shit that took me an hour to write 😪

i profusely apologize to jack again

[littlemsterious]

Fix-it fic where instead of offering Crowley a position, Beelzebub assumes Crowley and AZ are fully together and tells him about them and Gabriel. the rest ofthe season doesnt happen and they springboard crowley and Az getting together

“In my car? really?” why did ze have to fill his car with flies, it was such a mess!

“Ello traitor,”

“oh! lord Beelzebub!” could this not have happened a minute earlier? outside?!

“I suppose you’re wondering why I called you here,” said Lord Beelzebub, lord of the flies all over his car!

“you came to me!” Crowley said, and, in a moment, the flies surrounded him and suddenly he was in hell. 

“oh, I thought we had a” he spit a fly out, “generalised understanding.”

“We don’t.” Ze turned to look at him “You’re still a traitor. I could put a price on your head any time I wanted to.”

Crowley looked right back. “Is that a new face?”

“What, this old thing?” A chuckle “I’ve had it for ages.”

“Such a pity that Hell never appreciated your talents.”

“It is?” Ze were trying to butter him up for something. “Yeah, it is.” Might as well see what it is ze want.

“There’s news from Upstairs. Gabriel has gone missing.”

Yeah he was all too aware of that. “Ok, and?”

“You know Earth better than anyone.”

“You think I’d help hide the guy I hate?”

“Heaven is loosing it. They’ve started threatening Extreme Sanctions.”

“Those don’t actually exist. We used to make that up to scare the cherubs.”

“No, they do!” Ze looked at him intently. “They erase your name from the book of life. You won’t just die, you’ll have never existed.” Ze lean back. “But, if you did find Gabriel, Hell would reward you.”

“Yeah, I’m not exactly a fan of the guy, but I’m also not a fan of coming back here.” Crowley rolled his eyes. “I promise, I’d rather have nothing to do with him or any of this.”

Zir face darkened, and Ze got quiet. Ze turned around, got up, walked to the door, and locked it, before returning to the seat next to Crowley.

“Crowley? Listen. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t think you’d get it. and you can't tell anyone about this, you understand?” Something was up. Lord Beelzebub never used people’s names, not properly.

“What on Earth are you talking about?“

“Just, shut up okay?” Ze paused and he could feel himself getting more nervous. “I’m not looking for Gabriel for Hell. I’m- I’m worried about him.”

“What do you mean you’re worried about him? Gabriel? The archangel of heaven?” What kind of elaborate joke was this meant to be?

Beelzebub tilted zir head and pursed zir lips, “We’ve” ze nodded, once, “we’ve been seeing each other.”

The two stared at each other for a second.

“Romantically.”

Crowley felt his jaw loosen and his eyes widen.

“You? Have been dating? The Archangel Gabriel?”

Beelzebub rolled zir eyes “You make it sound so human.”

“I don't believe you.”

“What.”

“I don't believe you.” He leaned forward. “You could just be saying that.”

“And why would I do that?” Ze shifted zir weight and leaned to the side. 

“I don't know?! To trick me because you think I’m working to help Gabriel?!” It even sounded crazy to say out loud, despite, technically, being true.

I was gonna come up with some sort of magical proof for this but I started feeling unwell and just wanted to post this. So just pretend Beelzebub said something here that made sense. Sorry. I might get around to adding something here later.

Crowley sat for a minute, pondering. Beelzebub looked at him.

“There’s a coffee shop, cross the street from the bookshop. Meet me there in an hour.”

Beelzebub looked up at him, wide-eyed, then lifted zir chin. “An hour.”

And Crowley was back in his car.

The walk back to the bookstore was, in short, short, and not long enough to figure out how to explain this to Aziraphale.

Eh, whatever. He threw open the door, “I’m back”

“I can see that.” He didn’t even look up from his desk.

“Listen, angel, we don’t have a lot of time, I figured out what’s going on. it’s—“

“Are you going to help?” 

Crowley sighed, “Yes yes, sure. I’m helping. Listen, Angel—“

Finally, Aziraphale stood up and turned towards Crowley. “I think I need an apology first.”

“We literally have less than an hour for me to explain what’s happened. I will apologise all you like, later. But right now, we do not have time.”

Aziraphale stared at him. “What could possibly be so urgent that we have less than an hour?” 

“Gabriel, I figured out, well at least part of it." Crowley folded his glasses, and set them on the table. "I don't have the full story, but I have enough of it.”

“Well?” 

“He’s seeing someone.”

“Gabriel?!”

Crowley nods.

“Seeing someone?”

He nods again.

“How could you possibly know?”

“Because that someone,” Crowley walks up closer to Aziraphale, “came to me looking for him.”

“Meaning it’s someone you know?”

“Oh, someone I know all too well.” he rolled his eyes.

“Is it someone I know?”

“I’d say so, yeah.”

“Well who, stop stalling,” he said huffily. 

“You’re not gonna believe me, Angel.”

“Crowley.”

“Lord Beelzebub” 

Aziraphale stares at him. “You’re right I don't believe you.” He slaps his arm. “What kind of silly game are you playing?”

“Oh it’s no game, Ze proved it.”

“Proved it? how?”

[Insert Proof Here]

“Well I suppose that might change some things.”

“Oh you suppose?”

“Well I’m just trying to understand!” Aziraphale said in a huff. “Gabriel and Beelzebub? I can’t image what they might share, or see in each other!”

“Definitely a rather odd pair.”

“Most.” Aziraphale paused. “But what were you in such a rush about.”

“I told Beelzebub I’d meet them in the coffee shop cross the road in-“ he looked to the clock. “Less than thirty minutes now.”

“Why so soon?”

“We don’t know how long until Heaven comes knocking on your door looking for him.”

They sat for several minutes with that thought.

-

“Hey, if you two aren’t busy,” Gabriel stopped dusting and came over, “where does the dust go?”

Aziraphale tuned out Crowley’s answers to Gabriel’s various dust questions and wondered to himself. After some time, he spoke up.

“You stay in here with him. I’ll go to the coffee shop.”

“Well, ze’re not gonna listen to you.”

“Yes well, you weren’t here. I was.” he grabs his coat. "I have the full story. Besides, I have every right to make sure ze're telling the truth before letting zem into the shop. Ze will enjoy dealing with me much less."

“Fine.” 

He shut the door and walked quickly across the busy street.

Lord Beelzebub looks up to see Aziraphale walk in. Alone. 

“Where’s Crowley?”

“Oh, he’s busy. I understand we need to have a talk?”

Ze lean back in the chair. "Maybe. What’s he told you?”

“Back again Mr. Fell?” Nina interrupts. 

"Oh yes, very busy day today." 

"Right, what can I get for you and your friend?"

"A hot chocolate for me, Nina."

She turns to look at Beelzebub.

"Coffee. Whatever dark roast you've got."

"Sounds good." And she left.

"I didn't know you ate."

"Yeah, and?" Ze looked at him. "Mr. Fell? Really?"

"Have to be called something."

Ze rolled their eyes as Nina brought their cups. They both took a long sip.

“So?”

Aziraphale sighed. “This morning, I heard a commotion outside, and when I opened the door, it was Gabriel, with nothing but a box.”

“I mean, he’s normally carrying nothing. what kinda box, how big wazzit?”

“You misunderstand me. He wasn’t wearing anything, just holding the box. I suppose about this big?” He gestured with his hands.

Beelzebub's eyes grew. “What’s he doing that for? And why’d he come here?”

“I don't know. And apparently, neither does he. That’s the thing, he doesnt remember anything.”

“Nothing?”

Aziraphale shook his head. “Not at all.”

Beelzebub chewed zir lip.

“What in heaven coulda happened for him to get like that?”

“I don't know. He said something about bringing the box in order to prevent something terrible happening to him. But it was empty when I checked it.”

Beelzebub’s face sold AZ more than any proof could have. Ze looked so worried, Aziraphale almost felt awkward still sitting there. 

“I wanta see the box.” Ze looked him in the eye. “and then I wanna see him.”

Aziraphale took one last sip of his hot chocolate before the pair headed out the door.

They got to the front step of the bookshop and Aziraphale held open the door.

“You can-“ He looked at zir face as ze raised an eyebrow. “You may come in.” He said, tensely.

“Thanks.” Ze took a few steps in and look around. “Now where’s this box”

“Hi! I’m Jim." Gabriel walked over from behind a shelf. "Do you enjoy chairs? I think I’m starting to really like them.”

Beelzebub’s eyes lit up when ze saw Gabriel in a way that made Aziraphale’s heart flutter. 

“Hey there.” Ze walked up to Gabriel, more gently than he’d ever seen zem.

Gabriel squinted. “Do we know each other?”

"Sorta." 

“Cool! But the chair thing.”

“I do like a good chair. How are you feeling?”

“Um. Weird. But it's been getting better since I figured out the whole chair thing.” He sits down in the closest chair.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.

Ze lean down, hold his head between zir hands, and kiss him gently on the forehead.

“Um, okay,” Jim says with a grin. “What was that?”

“Don't worry,” Beelzebub says softly, "we’ll figure this out.”

“Okay! Figure what out?” 

Beelzebub smiles before turning to Aziraphale and Crowley. “Where’s the box?”

“Oh, right of course,” Aziraphale says, turning quickly to grab it off his desk. “I’m afraid it was empty when he arrived.”

“Hmm.”

Lord Beelzebub opens the box. Ze inspects the inside for several minutes, running zir fingers along the inside as if to feel for a tear or inconsistency. Finding nothing, ze sighed and leans over it, looking closer at the inside. 

Another minute passes before Beelzebub sits down and closes zir eyes for just a moment. Aziraphale, feeling rather awkward, breaks the silence. “So, when did the two of you, well, I mean—“

“Start meeting up?” 

“Yes, exactly”

Beelzebub chuckles. “Bout right after Armageddon failed to happen. We met up to figure out what to do about, well, Armageddon. So really we ‘ave you two to thank. not just for that, but y’know. I guess seeing the two of you together made it all feel a bit less crazy. a bit more possible.”

Crowley stood up a bit straighter, his shoulder’s at his ears, and his eyes wide.

Aziraphale sputtered. “The two of us?”

Beelzebub didn't seem to notice either of them. “Yeah.” Ze chuckled and looked up. “So what about you? When’d you two get together?”

Crowley bit his tongue.

“I- mhm- I'm afraid you have us wrong. We are not together, in that sense.” Aziraphale says, looking to the opposite end of the bookshop from Crowley.

Beelzebub looks at Aziraphale, turns to look at Crowley, and then back at Aziraphale. “Are you having me on?”

“No, I am not having you on.” He says, the phrase unfamiliar in his mouth.

Beelzebub turns zir head back to Crowley, “Is he having you on?”

“Uh, no, he is not,” Crowley says, stiffly.

Zir eyes flit back and forth between the pair.

“How long have you two been working together, again?”

Aziraphale, still not looking, tilts his head and says, “I believe The Arrangement we have to work together goes about six hundred years?”

“No. No. Gabriel said you two were seen together way before that.”

“Formally, working together. We’d bump into each other on occasion before that.” Crowley says, tone relaxed but back still very stiff.

“And how long has that been going on?” Zir eyebrows were furrowed.

"All of time?”

Ze stare at him. “The two of you,” ze point from one to the other. “have been meeting for six thousand years?” 

“Off and on yes.”

“Huh.” Ze seem to consider this as ze lean back in the chair.

A minute or so pass before ze stand up again, and call out. “Jim?”

Gabriel peeks around the bookshelf. “Yeah! That’s me.”

“You brought the box here?”

“Uhhhhh,” he looks into the distance. “I think so”

“Do you remember where you got it from?” Ze lean on zir elbows over the box “Or how long you carried it for?”

“Uhhhh, noooo?” He shakes his head “Yeah, no I don't think so.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Crowley says rolling his head back.

“Will you calm down?” Aziraphale says. 

Crowley throws himself into a chair, almost entirely sideways in it, with his head lolling back. “Yeah, yeah patience whatever.” He pauses and turns his head, “What’s that on the bottom there?”

“Where?” 

“The box, it’s hanging just off the edge of the table.” He reaches out and points “It looks like a mark or something”

Beelzebub straightens up, looks down, before spinning the box between zir hands. Sure enough, black scrawl handwriting stretches across the bottom.

“I am in the fly.” Aziraphale reads over Beelzebub's shoulder “What fly?”

Beelzebub looks up and makes eye contact with Crowley before glancing around the room.

“Well?” Crowley asks “Is there a fly?”

“Just one,” Zir looking at one spot, rather intently, now. “and it’s familiar.” Ze hold out zir hand. “Come here”

A fly buzzes over to zem and lands on zir hand.

“There you are.” 

Aziraphale tilts his head and looks at the fly. Crowley sits up straight in the chair.

“Jim?” Ze say again.

Gabriel, who had started to wander the bookshop again, calls back. “Yes! That’s still my name!”

“Could you come over here?” Ze say, softly.

“Oh! uh, yes!” Gabriel comes careening back around the shelves. “Hello.”

Beelzebub, ever so gently, walks over next to him, fly still in hand. 

“This is yours”

Gabriel reaches out, finger barely touching Beelzebub’s. the fly crawls over to his hand, and he holds it up to look at it. “Open it.” 

Gabriel holds it up, closer to his eye and it flies in.

He jolts, arms out, and stares off into space. Barely a moment passes before the glaze falls from his eyes, replaced by recognition.

“Aziraphale!” he says, making eye contact and surprisingly chipper. He turns to his left, and, still just as cheerful, says “Crowley!” He turns the other way, and Aziraphale can see his shoulders relax when he sees zem. 

“Hey,” he says, in a much softer voice. 

Beelzebub smiles, a soft warm smile. “hey.”

“I was coming to you.”

“It seems you got about halfway. I just had to come the other half.”

"Well I'm glad you're here."

“If you two are done yet," Crowley says, "I’m not a big fan of ceasing to exist when heaven realises you’re here.”

“What?” Gabriel and Aziraphale say in unison.

Beelzebub rolls zir eyes. “Heaven’s in a tizzy looking for you. Started threatening extreme sanctions to anyone hiding information.”

“Those don't really exist… do they?”

“Oh they do, it’s just not something done very often. A bit extreme, y’know, ceasing to exist.”

“So the Supreme Archangel going missing would qualify for that?” 

“Well, technically, I’m not supreme archangel anymore.”

All three of the them seemed shocked at that.

"Whatever do you mean?" 

"I'm with him, how?"

“Yeah, we were discussing the redo for Armageddon and I voted against it, so I got fired.” He shrugged.

“Wouldn't that mean you just go to hell like the rest of us? Be with zem?”

“No! Actually. I thought that too. They apparently decided it would be better to erase my memory and demote me. Which is not my idea of a good time.” He smirked.

“Oh dear.” Aziraphale spoke, quietly. He felt faint. Was that really how heaven was looking these days?

“Yeah, damn.” Beelzebub turned to look at Gabriel. “That’s much worse than I’d’ve expected from up top.”

“Yeah, I wasn't expecting it myself.” Gabriel shrugged. “Anyway, you are so right. We should get out of here.” He snapped his fingers and his blanket robe was replaced with light grey shacks and a pressed button-up shirt.

“if Heaven drops by,” Gabriel says, snapping at them both, “tell them I stopped by for a cup of hot chocolate, before heading out.” He laughs, “Technically, it’s not even a lie!” 

Beelzebub grabs his hand and pulls him toward the door. “and you two” Ze turn back, still walking, “figure yourselves out. talk, properly, for once in your lives.”

“Hm?” Gabriel looks at zem.

“They’re not together. You said they’d been together for ages, and they’re not. They’re dancing around it.”

Gabriel looked at them and scoffed, “Yeah, you two should talk.” 

They stepped outside, and Crowley, who had followed them to the door, shut and locked it behind them. The two didn't even notice as they disappeared into the busy street.

"Can you believe, the two of them, together, it seems almost ridiculous. And Heaven knows what on earth they were talking about--"

"Angel."

"--I mean making those kinds of assumptions--"

"Angel."

"--Talking as if they know us better than we know ourselves. We've always been distant from our respective offices--"

"Angel!"

"-they don't know us at all! It's an entirely ridiculous notion altogether, I suppose it's a good thing this worked itself out so quickly-"

"ANGEL!"

"-I think it's rather a good thing we won't be hearing from them for some time, seeing as--"

"AZIRAPHALE!"

The angel freezes, quieting himself. He looks up and makes eye contact with Crowley.

"We've known each other for a long time. And I think we both know that's not true."

Crowley took several steps forward until he was just in front of Aziraphale, their eyes never leaving each others.

"You and I have been together for a long time." He bites his tongue and looks off. "We've always relied on each other. We're a team, a group. And we've spent our existance pretending that we aren't." Another pause. "And I would like to spend-" He groans. "I would like to spend the rest of it, with you. Properly."

"Properly?"

Crowley leans into Aziraphale's space. "Properly."

Aziraphale leans the rest of the way, taking his face between his hands and looks him deep in the eyes.

“You know that’s rather sweet of you, Crowley.”

Crowley opened his mouth to respond but Aziraphale’s lips were on his before he got the chance.