#but it's like 'oh no i cant do that bc i have this thing later' but on a larger scale
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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#hypothetical situation (not) but how would one feel if their roommate was using their tv in the living room (which was bought by your father#as a gift to you) and is sitting on the couch you paid for (rubbing their feet all over it like literally rubbing back and forth and in#between the cushions) and had left a mess on the table you also bought and when you asked if you could use your tv in the living room their#response was to immediately argue (raise voice) saying ‘I PAY RENT TOO YOU CANT KICK ME OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM’ when this was the first time#i had asked in our 2 months of living here to use my tv bc shes been using it all week and my ps5 is connected to it so i wanted to use it#she said ‘this isn’t yours your dad bought it’ and then said ‘dont you have your own tv in your room’ (which is much smaller and i cannot#play ps5 games on bc yaknow. ps5 is in living room)#how would we feel in this situation#knowing said roommate is using your things and claiming them as apart of rent (i assure you its not apart of rent i paid for and dragged in#and set up all these things out of my own pocket)#claiming them……as their own……….#and taking over?#she has not even bought anything for the house and then whenever i ask and finally give up and get it myself shes like ‘oh i was gonna get#that tomorrow’ (which is why shes not allowed to use my shower caddy now lmao)#am i being territorial or am i being reasonable for being upset with her?#wtf do i do LMAO#delete later
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i don't even like video games so why have i been playing Red Dead 2 for the past eight hours gay
#i think me brain likes the Reward of successfully one hit killing things with a bow and arrow#i was born in the wrong generation (should've been a hunter gatherer)#i dont even care about the story!!! the tutorial / first chapter was tedious as fuck!#im only completing missions to unlock things so that i can Keep Fucking Around!!!#also my horse's name is wizard and if anything happens to her im killing everyone in this game#thankfully when the fuckin. asshole odriscolls Ambushed me i was riding a backup horse i'd just tamed#so THAT one died instead of my darling wizard. but still. cmon#she was a gorgeous buckskin... her name was gonna be Egg... i was on my way to the stable to name her...#BUT YEAH I DONT EVEN LIKE THIS GAME ALL THAT MUCH WHY CANT I STOP PLAYING#maybe my brain is like 'oh my god finally something New. something other than the same shit we've been doing'#killin turkeys and deer#i tracked an elk into a train tunnel AND HIT IT!!#but it didnt die!!! and ran out!!! and then i couldnt find it!!! cmon!!#this game is so infuriating Why Cant I Stop#absolutely unprompted#though i have been thoroughly entertaining myself with my own antics#'i want to be nice to people 🥺'#ten seconds later im killing a man i couldve easily saved purely bc there were no witnesses around <3#well! he would'a talked! i got a camp to protect and provide for!#oh ok yeah i also think my brain likes being able to be a rugged western man w a beard#riding horses and Providing in a slutty little outfit i picked out#most of the game is Such A Drag (as my darling shikamaru would say)#but there are some good bits. addicting bits. sigh#like the allure of open world. optional story. yeah <3#no rules <3
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Aomine and kise are the type of people to end up accidently married in vegas.
oh most definitely!! thinking abt aomine and kise drunkenly getting married in vegas and then posting it to their stories, giving their pr teams simultaneous heart attacks
#knb#aokise#asks#sleepzonesworld#ur mind>>>>#top 3 craziest nights for gom and friends#top 3 nightmare for gom and friends pr teams#'i cant believe u two got MARRIED???' 'well the problem isnt we got married. the problem is we posted it on INSTAGRAM.#which is why we hired u. please help us'#the pr teams advice being 'well u can blame it on being drunk and get a divorce'#and theyre like 'oh no r u kidding we want to keep being married' 'okay than just publicly deny but be together in private'#'idk that feels like a violation of our vows :/'#akashis dissapointed in them bc they didnt have time to properly invite their close friends and make a wedding registry#'u guys couldve gotten so many gifts that help u in building ur future together' 'okay first of all it isnt that serious#second of all we were DRUNK' 'we should plan a wedding reception for u guys later in the summer' 'ohmygod'#maybe its bc its june rn but the thought of them doing this during june is hilarious to me#getting married and accidentally revealing it during pride month and maybe even nba finals#right amount of things to make the internet explode LMAO
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At the same time as "this rule doesn't make sense to me and you can't adequately explain it to me so I won't be following it" is often a strength if you're questioning power structures, I have absolutely seen that weaponized by some autistic people as like "but why CAN'T I say xyz incredibly bigoted thing! No one will explain this to me! Therefore the rule is stupid!" LOL i think it comes from the same place
You have to temper it with critical thinking and a desire to take people on good faith about certain things. Like their experiences.
#autistic ppl being like the social niceties dont make logical sense to me so i wont be participating in them#and then being SUPER RUDE and hurting ppls feelings all the time and its like#ok. some things you do have to do tho or else youll hurt ppls feelings all the time. there is An Amount of like#accepting rules that dont Hurt people when someone says hey we do this bc we live in a society#idk this isnt very coherent#but ive had tk learn this a lot lol#like as a teen and in my earlier 20s i absolutely had to unlearn like but EXPLAIN TO ME WHYYYY THIS IS RACIST#oh you cant adequately explain bc this is an emotional topic for you? WELL THEN THE RULE IS DUMB#come on.#sometimes u just put a pin in it and look into it later on your own and follow the rule for now is a big important thing#that i have learned#because. you dont have to unquestioningly accept everything but ALSO ... lol
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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the worst thing abt being a roleplay nerd in dao specifically is having to be friendly to the vile freaks from the other origins bc your warden, a cousland, would have absolutely no clue what vaughn or bhelen were getting up to in the tabris/aeducan origins :/ but YOU know :////////
#oc: elspeth#tay plays dao#i mean couslands are probably the worst example given that a cousland would arguably know a LOT of the humans at least#elspeth seeng vaughn in prison like ooooooh this has been such a long time coming lmao#obviously not having context as to what happened but knowing him enough to recognize he's the guy who deserves to be there the most#sigh. still. im trying soooo hard not to metagame and i think she would unfortunately free him bc its the Lawful thing to do.#i personally would rather die. but here we are.#she gets clued in later like oh great. i keep inadvertently helping the scum of the earth lol#this is why she doesnt become queen ingame + it takes her so long to agree to become queen post game for alistair's sake#dao was one long gradual realization that she cant stand other nobles and she doesnt know how to deal w these ppl anymore :)
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#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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im sooooooo self-conscious about my leg scars.
#camera talks#also my arms but slightly less so bc i cant get around that one as much anymore#thats the one thing that. if people mention it i literally want to die#i work so hard to feel normal about them again and 1 comment will literally break all that and i will probably end up crying#picking scars are so hard to deal with... and some of them are literally years old#theres nothingggg i can do#keep to yourself stop asking me questionsssss#i hate summer/later spring bc that means short sleeve and shorts and people Seeing my scars#the one reason i have been suffering with my hoodie and pants at school rn. el oh el. it sucks but i cant Not so#one nice-ish thing tho. art of the characters who have gone through prentiss in tma. literally look like my scars sometimes#and it kinda makes me feel nice. idk. weird circular scars rep#anywayyys
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current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit
#damien.txt#sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam#i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually#okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way#and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues#because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit#and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life.#and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if....#and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds#and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm#at a level that is. certainly unhealthy.#and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know!#but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point.#and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals#abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much!#but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess.#idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually#my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks#i am. tired.
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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iggypan
#shut up luci#delete later#i cant keep thinking of alice going to japan for a meeting but deciding to arrive early to do some casual tourist things bc its been so long#since shes done tourist things. anyway this is like the early aughts or late 90s whatever. she goes to the bridge to see all the cool fashio#fashion and maybe take pics like a rude tourist. maybe even check out the shops and buy something cute. and shes like WOAH so many cool styl#styles. heavily inspired by me england i am england i invented punk me personally i did that. and goth. whatever the hell this lolita is#is also clearly inspired by european fashion. and vw's mini crini line.#she just thinks jfash is neat. doesnt rly get all of it but she likes it. its cool. but then as shes taking picture like a rude person#she notices one girl look straight at her and then duck and turn around and speedwalk away. and iggys like oi wait im sorry i'll delete the#picture im sorry miss i didnt mean to be rude! and when she catches up to her shes like ?!?!?! sakura??? why are you dressed like this???#and sakura is like ahhhh i didnt know you would be here. sometimes i dress up when i am not working. it is fun i have some friends who like#to meet up here. yes humans. ahhhh >_< i really didnt mean for u to see me like this..... and iggys like oh its no big deal i dont mind.#i think this whole lolita thing suits u. hahaha remember when i used to dress all punk and gothic and whatnot? what you wear outside of work#is your own business. plus its cute :3 like u :3 hey maybe next time we can dress up together and go clubbing or to a concert. er...#a live as u say. haha lol. and sakura is like mmm perhaps. that might be fun. and then alice is like Right now how do i get to the maid cafe#from here. and sakura is like >_> ok um which one.#i love them
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I dont wanna do anything today its too hotttt
#i just wanna hang out but everyone is busyyyyy 😭#and nobody gives a fuck abt what ive been up to as soon as theyve finished talking abt themselves they leave the conversation 😔#ik i get annoying talking abt my interests but its not a 1 way street here 🥹🥹#well maybe it is i guess. oh well#hanging out w the parkour lot again tmr so :D !! i made brownies to take with me.. thefastest way to make friends is to bring food :3#and ill hang out a bit w my flatmate later bc i offered to make dinner. muahaha my sick and twisted plans to spend time w ppl#ik im probably just having a bad rsd day but i know my flatmate misses our old flatmates and sometimes its hard not to feel like its a-#personal thing like ik im not as fun or cool as they were but i cant rly do anything abt that bc im just me#it is what it is!! i hope she finds a way of making some new friends locally bc then ill feel less guilty for her being stuck w me#not that i feel like im stuck w her at all i love her shes great + i like talking to her + being around her !!#i just feel like theres an invisible standard im always being compared to. IDK!!!!! probably just insecurity on my part its ok#i feel like im always harping on abt that here SORRY anyway im gonna make dough and do another hour of job apps ily bye#.diaries
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:angy: the fact i can’t talk about [redacted], a character who’s such a interesting culmination of how hopes peak and their system fails and neglects people, and also of how having a school like this has given people the opportunities to do great things which change lives, all because they’re a spoiler for something THAT IS LITERALLY [redacted] fucking GETS ME sometimes.
#on the one hand they’re like. oh hopes peak will drop people at the drop of a hat#they care more about their image and having 16 shiny new students to show off. so they’re like#‘oh fuck someone got incredibly injured doing the thing we were gonna scout them for. well. guess we need to fill the spot#that we were going to give to them. not like we could just. wait for them to be out of the hospital! cuz what if they say no and the class#is left with only 15 students? :(…… yk if we stopped being Evil and removed a Evil policy we could easily scout them next school year.#but why would we stop being evil all for one student who was only in this situation bc of how we’ve impacted labor laws?’#and so it’s like that’s horrible and fucked up hpa what the hell#and then the character gets out of the hospital and it’s like. oh by the way betas seen some incredible technological advancements#in the medical/mobility field (<- obligatory i am disabled! i should make a list of disability rep in beta just bc it’s fun but like#there are characters born disabled characters who become disabled later in life. characters with invisible disabilities characters who need#mobility aids 24 7 et cetera et cetera. and any issues they face the message being sent is always we should change the way#people talk about and handle disability and how disabled people are treated. and never ‘we should ‘fix’ disability’!#this characters mobility aid is in part me expressing my own feelings on my being disabled.#and also in part me commenting on how people talk about and treat disability! nuance) so yea. new adaptive tech#and it’s like woah if hpa didn’t exist i wouldn’t have this this prolly wouldn’t have been invented. thanks hpa :]#but i CANT TALK ABT IT IN MORE DETAIL. AGH
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#once again overthinking about how i keep considering adhd medication to be some kind of life changing drug#like im just. waiting for my life to start? when i get on meds?#and there's like. a decent chance it is not gonna be like that for me#no antidepressant or adjacent has ever worked for me before#and i shouldnt rly get my hopes up and i should probably just find other ways to help myself#but it's like 'oh no i cant do that bc i have this thing later' but on a larger scale#idk#i just keep getting stuck on like#what if im just like this for the rest of my life#what if there's no treatment that works for me and what if i just cant do shit and leave things to the last minute#and feel overwhelming intense rejection and lowkey constantly hate myself#and go through all this with no remedy for the rest of my life?#what then?#idk i think im still coming to terms with like.#adhd actually being a disability#the vindication of 'oh im not faking all these things i actually Do have adhd'#is slowly being replaced by 'oh. i have adhd and i actually have to deal with that now bc it is disabling and debilitating'#and it's just. shit#anyways#ignore me#incoherent rambling
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vent
#had an issue a while ago where my bf was leaving his dirty clothes in piles on the floor which is fine except when the piles#are kept in the same room as the litterbox and the cat takes that as a cue to start pissing in piles of clothes#so i told him he couldnt do it anymore he said ok and then a bit later i caught the cat right as he was abt to piss in said clothes again#and when i was like 'hey i said you cant do this it can ruin your clothes if it gets left there' and he was like 'oh yeah i know but it's#my clothes so that's a risk i just decided to take' which uhhhh No????? no in so many ways?????????#but i didnt process how wack that is at the time so i just moved on and was like 'no but for real you cant do this anymore like not#a suggestion like legit This Cannot Continur Happening bc the end of this road is that the cat learns pissing in clothes piles is#ok whenever he wants' which did actually get him to stop but that was apparently enough learning time for mr carrot#we've had a few issues with it not toooo bad but its definitely been getting steadily more frequent#anyways guess whose electric blanket got pissed in today bc he left it in a pile on the floor and taught the cat its ok to piss in those#im having trouble giving a shit about it in the ways i should#like. idc that the blanket is maybe ruined#when he bought it he said it was for both of us but its just his so like idc but what i AM feeling is mad at him#cause like. i told him not to#and i shouldn't have HAD to tell him not to‚ 'the cat is pissing in my clothes so i will make it no longer possible for that to happen'#should be a no brainer i cannot imagine going 'welp i guess if it happens it happens' ITS PISS IN YOUR CLOTHES SITTING STALE FOR#WHO KNOWS HOW LONG and now we have to be hypervigilant abt Any Fabric Ever and who knows if itll escalate even further#hes already escalated from exclusively floor fabric to pissing in MY clothes that i was keeping on a table#like. the next stop is obviously couches/beds but like once they learn something its real hard to train them not to#and im just. frustrated that this is just gonna be yet another thing i have to deal with all the time when he shouldve just#Not Decided It Was Fine For The Cat To Piss In His Clothes In The First Place Hello?????!!!#but i also feel bad bc i feel like im holding a grudge about something small but i also Cant Let It Go#usually when the thing im mad abt is something insignificant its annoying for a bit then i let go but im just like !!!!!! what the fuck!!!!#idk. whatever#its his problem now idk how to get the heating psrt separate from the blanket part so i just sprayed some urine enzyme#on it and he can figure out wtf to do with in once he gets home in like two hours#and if thats too long and the smell gets baked in. oh well i guess#he hasnt been able to smell since we got covid anyways so like. its whatever i guess he can stew in a cat piss blanket if he wants#but i also cant tell if this is just a side effect of my General Irritability over the last few months and i really am mad abt nothing#ESPECIALLY because i keep saying it doesnt really directly effect me at this point then its like ok why are you so mad abt it then
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