#but it's like... you're still disabled but your body (for whatever reason) isn't suffering as much as it might other days

[uncanny-tranny]

The frustrating thing about having good days with pain or bodily irritation or mobility or whatever else isn't that it's a "good day." It's the feeling that you are either greatly exaggerating your suffering or worse, that you're secretly wanting attention/admiration for your suffering. I think people sometimes are confused as to why good days in terms of disability can be distressing to some, but it is precisely that you almost... overthink the Implications of good days.

It isn't that you want to be suffering, it is that you are taught you will only be "worthy" of help if you are suffering in the Right way (and having any good days are often seen as a sign that you aren't "truly worthy").

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 18]

Me whenever Khan ogles Bakara: boooring.

Me 5 seconds later ogling Atcham the same exact way: oguhuhhggghuhhq

They only just met, and are already a perfect team. :)

I like to think that Joris has always wanted to hear the other side of the story, be it from Atcham, Lou, or Indie. This isn't the best time to ask, but he might not get another chance...

I also guess that Atcham's deep hatred for Kerubim bewitches Joris as much as Joris's love for Kerubim bewitches Atcham.

Out of all the possible answers, — from the implied bullying, to being abandoned and called a psychopath by Kerubim, — the answer that Atcham gives is so fascinating.

Because he's pretty much acknowledging, that he hates him because he feels inferior. He's always been mistreated because he's the opposite of Kerubim. He's not handsome, or lucky, or good with people, so he's suffered, — and Kerubim is everything he wishes he could be. Even if it's not Kerubim's fault that he suffered, he hates Kerubim the very most because he's a walking-talking reminder of how life could have been.

Joris is even a bit taken aback by this. I bet he expected something deeper.

And it is deep, don't get me wrong. But it's not "when we were kids, he never helped me, when others did me harm." or "he had always looked down at me."

It's literally just "other people dislike me, and not him, even though he had the exact same shitty life as me. The only reason he lives better than me is that he is prettier and luckier. I want to punish him for that. Because it's easier, than hating a god, or the kids from the temple, or anyone else. It's easier because he's nearby, and I know him the best out of all of them."

They are two sides of the same coin. Both of them are orphans. Both of them hate their own bodies. And both of them could probably talk for hours upon hours on what Kerubim makes them feel.

Except Joris feels lucky to have had Kerubim, indebted even, — while Atcham is the opposite, feeling like Kerubim, simply by existing, took everything from him.

Joris appeals to their solidarity in his attempts to defend Kerubim's Honour: while it sure sucks, Atcham's struggle with being hated and degraded by people is neither special nor unique.

Note: I understand it might be somewhat controversial to say this, but I do think that both Joris and Atcham are disabled, or at least discriminated against.

Atcham is referred to as disabled in one of the canonical sources, even if it is a joke. Logically speaking, even without any canon sources, within the universe's context his lack of fur is undoubtedly a disability.

Joris, in the context of the real world, would definitely be a person with dwarfism, which, just like Atcham's lack of fur, canonically impacts his social life, with the way he is often not taken seriously by other people.

So, their solidarity is very cute to me.

Besides that, he appeals for Atcham to understand that his negative experiences with Kerubim aren't universal.

Or maybe, he appeals to whatever positive memories Atcham still he has of him.

And I am pretty sure Atcham knows what Joris is doing. And it's working.

Joris really dislikes how shallow Atcham's dislike for Kerubim is, when Kerubim has done nothing but support and love him, because of how different he is from others.

But for Joris to feel so passionately defensive, — like Kerubim has done him a service by treating him well, — we can understand that Kerubim's "I want my son to love himself as he is" parenting didn't work that well.

You can't really parent your way out of your son noticing he's short, bald, and weird compared to other people. And at some point, saying "you're special" probably just feels insulting, or, more likely in Joris's case, like Joris has failed at feeling special, and that Kerubim would be sad, if he knew how Joris really felt about his body.

If Atcham didn't love Kerubim, — if he didn't feel nostalgia for the times they were still close, — none of what Joris said here would ever work, y'know?

While the show had 52 episodes and then some to sell me on Kerubim and Joris's dynamic, the movie only has three scenes to develop what goes on between Joris and Atcham, and we've already seen two of them.

And let me tell you, by god, does it succeed.

Yes, Atcham and Joris are foils to one another, because of their orphanhood, body issues, and relationship with Kerubim.

But Atcham and Bakara are also foils: because of their feeling of inadequacy, compared to their brothers.

Bakara can't acknowledge what she feels: hatred. Towards herself, for not being good enough. Towards Julith, for seemingly taking her brother away. Towards Joris, for being the product of the woman who ruined her life. Towards Kerubim, maybe for taking Joris and giving him a good life, devoid of having to face or know any of these terrible things, or maybe for not dying instead of Jahash.

And she hates Jahash too. For leaving her alone. And for leaving such a huge void where he once stood — one she can never hope to fill.

Atcham is quite the opposite, really. He needs so badly to hate Kerubim to feel better, that he can barely face the fact that he loves his brother too.

Honestly, is it even hatred, when all you do is sing him praises? "You're the coolest, the hairiest, the luckiest—" doesn't suddenly stop being a compliment, if it's followed "instead of you, it should be ME." (yes, I am taking this moment quote one of the most Atcham-core songs ever created at you. hi.)

There's a very thin line between hatred and love, and I think, that in that line there lies jealousy and obsession.

Atcham's purr is so cute....... kbitty.

This confirms that under the fur, Kerubim and Atcham look pretty similar (we been knew). If you shaved Keke, you'd see a mini-Atcham, and vice versa. The main difference is the ear size, and the fact that the sides of Atcham's face point downwards, instead of upwards, like with Kerubim

However, I have some qualms with this design: sphynx cats have spots in the same exact places that they would have if they had fur. if Atcham had fur it'd be more like this:

And man. It makes him look even MORE like Kerubim. jhgsjkfgsdfg

[homo-adaptionem]

Urbex Tips

Urban Exploration tips:

Learn basic first aid & bring a first aid kit.

Don't go in alone. Bring at least two other people.

Build up your strength before hand.

You need a tetanus shot every 10 years. If you haven't had one in the last 10 years, get one before you start.

If you're asthmatic, bring your inhaler.

Do research on the building / area beforehand. Figure out why it's abandoned. Learn the history. If it's condemned, find out why. Could be health reasons.

Enter at your own risk.

Tell a trusted person(s) where you're going. Give them the location of any places you're exploring. This is in case something happens, they know where you are/were going. Make sure they know who you're going with.

Hard hats. Being serious. Shit falls, even in "newer" buildings.

Wear gloves (thick leather work gloves, not that plastic faux leather shit, actual leather. not disposables, they won't do shit against glass and metal), goggles (to protect your eyes), a face mask (ideally construction-grade but the fabric types will work well enough), thick, long pants (like jeans), work or hiking boots, long sleeves, and something to cover your hair, like a beanie. If you've got long hair, put it in a ponytail and stuff it under the hat. Trust me. Also deodorant is a good idea.

Invest in a headlamp (easier than using a flashlight)

Avoid the "white 16 year old boy with friends" mentality. Don't do stupid shit because it's funny. If that floor seems unstable, avoid it. Don't smash shit. Don't jump down dark holes.

Don't steal shit. It's tempting, but I don't recommend it.

Avoid tagging / making graffiti, esp identifying graff. Again, tempting, but you can still get in trouble for it.

If someone catches you, BAIL. Don't get into a fight. Don't stick around for pigs to show up. Don't engage, just get out of there. Most of the time, urbex is trespassing.

If you find (which you probably won't) large sums of money, it might be best to report it. It could be stolen or counterfeit and get you in trouble if you use it. But ultimately it's your own choice.

If you find (which you probably won't) bloody clothing, blood-covered knives (or other weapons), or a gun, report it. Fuck pigs yada yada, but it could be connected to someone's death. Don't touch anything, don't take anything, just call the authorities and tell them where it is. I mention this because it could be connected to the assault or murder of sex workers, partners, and/or minorities.

If you find drugs (which you probably won't), report it. Don't use it. Could be laced. Not safe to use, bro, not worth it.

If you find a body(s), (which you probably won't), report it. Check for a pulse, but if the body is cold and/or stiff, call the authorities. If they're still warm, you can try CPR on them while you call for an ambulance. If they have a pulse, call an ambulance. If it looks like they're ODing, use some narcan if you've got it.

If you find Satantic imagery or whatever, 9 times out of 10 it's just teens fucking around. Like I promise you, they were probably left by some guys wanting to cause a stir or trying to make their own ARG or something.

The building isn't haunted, sorry to say. There are rational explanations for every "supernatural" thing you'll encounter. Sometimes they're the aforementioned guys. If you're superstitious, scared of the dark, easily frightened, or suffer from psychosis, you're probably gonna have a bad time.

You may encounter looters, homeless folks, addicts, and/or mentally ill/disabled folks. Try to avoid confrontation. Let them be. If they're alive and unharmed, leave them alone. If they're injured or ODing, attempt first aid (narcan, tourniquets, compresses, etc.) and call an ambulance. No pigs, just medical help.

Watch out for animals. Don't pet them. Don't hurt them. Leave them alone. Also watch out for snakes, esp in buildings with a lot of concrete or gravel.

Don't wear iconic or identifying clothing. Don't worry about looking nice. Don't wear shit you like because it WILL get torn, stained, and trashed.

Just… never assume you're alone.

Feel free to reblog with other tips.

[ascendedastarionapologist]

I think the previous anon misunderstood my take with ascension being expensive wellcare aid..

When you are chronically ill, there is NO CURE. WellCare aid IS NO CURE. it is AID! It's supposed to alleviate or relieve your worst symptoms.

The only reason I was making this metaphor is because people are treating his vampirism as a metaphor for chronic illness / disability, and by saying they want to cure it, they're erasing an essential part of him and his story, esp the consequences of his endings.

And as a disabled/chronically ill person myself I kindly want to ask spawnsplainers to stop using real life metaphors like this because it normalizes the idea that we need to be fixed, ''cured'' that our state of being is a disease that needs to be erased, not something that we have to live with every single breath.

Astarion isn't ''cured'' he's empowered to do whatever the fuck he wants through ascension route. He's still a vampire. He has been a vampire for 200+ years.

He still struggles with the hunger that rips his body apart if he remains a spawn. And from how he speaks in the spawn route, it doesn't sound like he wants to be ''cured'' to begin with. He has accepted this to be part of who he is.

Please stop saying you can fix/cure him. That's what strikes a lot of folks as ableist, and I'm sure there are spawn fans out there who like him being a vampire to begin with.

Ascension is like alleviating symptoms, while also making him stronger. Not ascending is remaining as he is, with no means of alleviating. Curing vampirism as a whole destroys a large portion of the character we know and just turns him into something else. Enjoy your fanfiction, Instead of ''cure'' find him a sunlight ring, or give him a magic item that eases the pain of the hunger.

Chronically ill doesn't mean ''disease that can be removed'' Sometimes you're born like that and that's just how your body is, or you pick something up that permanently alters your life later on. It becomes a part of you, you live with it the rest of your life. You can look for aid, or you can suffer in silence and mask the symptoms.

There's nothing heroic about suffering in silence. There will always be a line of people in real life too, when it comes to requesting aid for disability. There is always a cost. Unfortunately the world is like that, healthcare is unfair.

Finally, I want to re-iterate: My disabilities will be gone when I DIE. It's a life-long thing. Please stop using ableist language in fiction to justify your weird fixer fantasy.

If you're going to use this language to call Spawn Astarion someone suffering from a disability/chronic illness, then you need to recognize that you are essentially telling him to suffer because it is the ''heroic'' thing to do. That's why It comes off as incredibly ableist.

Enjoy the game as you please, but please stop using ableist language.

no additional commentary

[weebsinstash]

How come you quit your job? Feel free to ignore this if you don't feel comfortable answering of course!

Nah its ok, I don't mind talking about it, and I probably should explain at least a little since just recently we were having financial troubles so it seems kind of a bad move that i would do this in theory

Also uh I wound up bitching and complaining a little bit so this post is kind of long and I apologize haha

So there were several factors to me quitting, both pertaining to my own physical and mental health, behavior of my coworkers, and just how the place was being managed. To everyone new, or just everyone who isn't aware I guess, I never finished high school and the American education system is a scam and lie anyways so, I'm limited to which jobs I can have, so I was working fast food with this job having paid $12 an hour (and that's with me having prior work experience)

So to start, there were certain chronic physical pains i was/am having related to my disability (equinus), but I'm also creeping up on pre-diabetic status and uh despite not being an actual diabetic yet, I have diabetic neuropathy which is a fun way of saying certain nerves are dead or dying, and diabetes/pre-diabetes also causes joint pain so sometimes I'm just constantly suffering from Shit Hurts Disorder because fast food is actually a very physical job sometimes. I also had leg surgery in May that I still get certain aches from because my body is now "uneven". I'm also about to have surgery on the other leg which we'll get to in a second

But in the end the main contributing factor to me quitting was a specific group of my coworkers. I had certain coworkers who were quite frankly not very good at their jobs and had to constantly be told to do things over and over and still wouldn't get it right. On many days during lunch rush I would be on grill and turn around and there would be no one around me to assemble the sandwiches, get the fries, bag up the food, do the things that we were there to do, leaving certain other people to have to double-up their work to make up for the slack. turns out said missing people had just walked away from their station to all gossip in Spanish in the back of the store, be on their phones, share food, whatever.

I constantly caught them doing all kinds of nasty shit that people with basic hygiene and common sense don't do in a kitchen. Don't get a long manicure that rips through the gloves when you make sandwiches and touch food (you're actually not supposed to have long nails at all when you handle food but most employers don't enforce it). Don't wear your long hair in front of your body where it touches the food or can even simply just fall out. Don't bring in food from home and then not only take tubs that belong to the store to keep it in, but also physically cooking your food on the equipment while we are still serving customers. Dont leave the food you brought in in the fridge for several days until someone else has to throw it away. Don't serve food with mold on it. Don't just rinse the mold off. Don't drop raw food on the floor and then just toss it back in the frier 🤢

Also like. The particular group of coworkers I'm referring to would hardly ever call people by their actual names and would usually give almost everyone nicknames for whatever reason. My name is Miranda and for some reason they would always call me Melinda or Linda which I also found very disrespectful after so many months. Oh, so you can't do the simple shit I ask you to do every day AND you can't do the simple courtesy of using my actual fucking name? Christ

Really the straw that broke the camel's back was one thing most specifically though and it legitimately could have been resolved so easily and both my coworkers and my managers weren't doing shit about it. That simple thing? When these women were making sandwiches with fried products, which are kept in a drawer, they would simply reach in the drawer and pull things out without looking, and often times they would not call out we needed more food until they would reach in and could no longer feel anything. Obviously for fast food that's a problem. We have metrics and times we want to keep good as well as not make our customer wait. The goal is to call things out BEFORE it's empty so we aren't holding on orders and people aren't having to wait for extended periods of time

Literally the solution to this is just looking in the drawer, to actually look at and count whatever you're taking as you're taking it out. This is a standard practice. This is common sense. And for the fucking life of me, no matter how many times or how politely I asked, these grown ass women, most of which have children, would not fucking do it. They refused to literally just peek in a drawer to make sure we weren't running out of food. Every single shift, every single shift, (which by the way for months i was working 6 days a week) multiple times a shift, I'd hear shit like "Oh, no more spicy! Linda, do you have spicy down?"

I cannot express it enough. All they had to do was look in the container of the food they were taking out, just a peek to confirm we aren't running low, something that's extremely basic in a food based job, and these grown adults would not do it. So then I would have to compensate. I'd have to constantly HOVER OVER THEM because they refused to communicate, to look in the drawers FOR THEM, constantly walking back and forth when I'm disabled and post-surgical. I would be on the job getting physically tense, standing there thinking "any second now and its going to happen again, when are they going to fuck this up again"

so yeah on Friday it was during lunch rush and sure enough, there i hear "oh, no more spicy! Linda, more spicy?"

I uh sorta blew up a little. Just looked at her "WHAT DO I TELL YOU EVERY DAY? LOOK IN THE CABINETS AND CALL THINGS OUT BEFORE IT'S ALL GONE"

And insult to injury she just like basically ignores me, looks at me like im being a bitch when i ask her to do this every shift and so has the manager, and just asks me to drop spicy chicken and at that point I said "no, im going home" and stormed out

So yeah. I feel really bad but also not. I tried to talk to my GM about this many times and he would just give suggestions for what I could do, basically telling me to work around them rather than putting his foot down with the actual people causing the problem. I tried. I asked nicely, I tried different things, but I can't control other people. I'm about to have surgery on my other leg and I don't want to be trapped recovering my surgery and in pain and STILL having to babysit women who are older than I am

Oh and I guess secondary note but have I ever mentioned some of the incredibly inappropriate "jokes" my GM has made to me or other women in the store. Asking what race of men we prefer, saying he wishes he could have a kid with me because I'm down to earth, saying I'm nice and young for him while the others are too old, I overheard him asking some of the others if they knew what squirting was and then proceeded to describe it in a pretty crass way

So. Yeah. And I guess the final, final thing is that. Well. I've been having some really significant mental health struggles. I mean like, very serious. My therapist has wanted me to go into the hospital a few times and I would always say something like "well I can't, I have work". When I'm having constant mental health crises and quite frankly think about suicide on a daily basis, it doesn't help my mental health to work at a job that stresses me out and makes me feel small, used, and taken advantage of

I hope to get another job eventually but I've been thinking on it and with this surgery coming up on the 20th I'm going to be homebound anyways so... maybe it's for the best if I take a small break for a while and try to focus on myself for a little bit. So yeah if you read this whole thing, thanks for listening to my little sob story 😳 ol weeb here is uh, feeling like a tired old soul lately and a break is sounding pretty nice honestly....

[worldoftom]

Yayaya thank you so much 🥺 Well first off I’m a virgin because I’ve never been in a relationship and it seems like people aren’t really interested in me but it’s okay one day hopefully. I’m pretty sure my parents think I’m never going to be in a relationship or get married or have sex because I’m disabled and I kind of rely on them to help me. But it doesn’t matter because I’m not going to let them stop me from living as normal life as I can. Anyways lol I have a connective tissue disorder called EDS and it affects my joints. There’s multiple types but the one I have affects my joints the most. They’re always inflamed and constantly popping out of place and it’s painful so I use mobility aids to get around. I guess my question though is do you know what... the best position?? Would be for me to have sex with someone? Or like are there certain positions that are more comfortable and easier on the body? Because like my hips and knees are constantly popping out of place and most of the time I have braces on to prevent it. I know it’s probably not an easy question and I’m really not sure if there is an answer but I also was just wondering if you maybe had any advice on how to talk to someone about it? It’s super weird and not very common I would say lol for someone’s joints to pop out of place so easily lmaoo. I’m just worried that someone will finally want to have sex with me and I’ll have to tell them about my weird ass body and they’ll be turned off or they won’t want to do it. Like I’ve been ghosted and turned away by friends because of it and I really don’t want that to happen to someone that could potentially be a significant other. Sorry for the fucking long ask.. 😔 I just really think you’re amazing and I really trust you a lot so I wanted to ask you. I hope it’s not too much and if it is you absolutely do not have to give me an answer because it is a really weird subject and something that isn’t very easy to talk about. But no matter what I still think you’re amazing and I do enjoy you and your blog so much and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day 💞 - 👩🏼‍🦽

First let me tell you that I like your can-do attitude. You're not your disorder, it's something you have, but you're way more than that, so I admire the fact that you're don't letting it make choices for you. I'm sorry your lost some people because of it, but I suppose they weren't the right ones. They're out there somewhere, it's never an easy find, but if everybody else finds the right circle of loved ones... why can't you? I don't see a reason why. I know keeping a positive view of things isn't always easy, and it can have a heavy weight mentally, but hats off to you, my friend :) and thank you for trusting me with something so personal <3<3<3

Now. Please note that I am not a sex therapist or nothing of the sorts, but I looked up some things and there are a few articles about people who suffer from this disorder and seem to have / have had similar doubts.

That said, I found that the best positions will depend on which joints are affected. Since I'm assuming it varies, you're gonna have to let your body “do the talk”. Never force it into anything that causes any kind of discomfort or pain, that's the main point. And although uncomfortable, I suppose having THAT conversation is going to be necessary at some point, if not from the beginning of it all. It's best to be prepared for anything rather than having something happen out of nowhere. It could cause a much bigger chaos since you and the other person may not know how to react to whatever happens. But if you're aware that it may happen, that's halfway to having a plan in the back of your head “just in case”.

The consensus seems to be that lying on your side is the most comfortable one (this is called 77, apparently). And doggy style was also mentioned several times, but I'm not sure if this works for every case as it depends a lot on leg / knee strength and you mentioned your hip, too. Aside from those two, I couldn't find anything specific but there are many, many options in terms of positions that, once you have a partner you're comfortable with, you may be able to try without the fear of something popping out of place. I understand it can be embarrassing, but sex is embarrassing in itself. And also, going through those moments in a rs does wonders to the connection between the two partners.

I have some links that might provide at least some comfort because the point is that you remember that you're not alone in this. It may not be "the majority," but there are others that have gone through the same and have shared their experience.

Anyway, I'm assuming that you're wary of your parents finding any online searches or history related to this theme, so I took the liberty to compile this doc with links and the full text from each link so that you don't have any "incriminating" evidence in your computer's history ;) let me know if they're useful! 🤗

Check it out here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16Y1U7fSKnYCNaOGKHTdX0DMb-bh1rKWV2t2C6A48Xx4/edit?usp=sharing

Please let me know if any of this was useful! Like I said, I don’t know much about the topic or the disorder itself, so there may be some information that doesn’t work for you. And you know, after posting this, maybe someone else has something to say about this topic and you never know when tumblr may have a new friend for you! Lots of love and please never lose your positive attitude. It is your most valued asset in life 💙