#but logically i'm not sure

[uncanny-tranny]

It is my sincerest and unironic belief that we must invest in preserving "old technology." The more we move to a hegemonic, easily-surveilled way of living, the worse we will find this world to be.

Letters, public phones and transport, cash, and so much more are key to ensuring both freedom of movement and information, but also to combat the surveillance state. We need to preserve the ability to both access the world but also to be untraceable. I truly hope more people start to recognize this. It isn't about nostalgia for the past. It is about ensuring that we are actually afforded freedom, from the richest person to the person who lives on the sidewalk.

[vaguely-concerned]

I think finding yourself getting life advice from quark in his PJs in the middle of the night (and desperately needing it) is how you officially know you've hit rock bottom

+ just us girls together at the sleepover right. anyway get your life together bitch you're scaring the profit margins

[galoogamelady]

Dunno if this is something you've been asked before but how does our favorite post apocalyptic beanboy and his most excellent gal celebrate Halloween in the Commonwealth?

It's been a long time since we talked about this in detail (probably in 2014-15?) but I think we established that many traditional American holidays were lost in the Great War (people were more concerned with surviving, obviously). A lot of these celebrations were kept alive by Vault residents however. Buttons does his best to inspire his fellow Arefu settlers to celebrate Halloween to some extent and Meg plays along, even if it makes no sense to her. The budget Brahmin has to be my favorite Halloween post so I did a quick redraw:

Buttons had a couple other Halloween costumes since 2014:

Butt-O-Ween skeleton

Slutty Molerat

Hancock (aka raunchy mayor)

GTA Online Buttons is a sexy cat every year

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[android-and-ale]

Headcanon du jour: What if most Vulcan’s aren’t massively bigoted space racists?

The majority Vulcans we’ve met have essentially been Vulcan Royalty. You know, the institution which, here on Earth, is notorious for being bigoted, backwards, and inbred. 

Tuvok and T’Lynn aren’t like that. 

But then, they’re not direct descendants of Surak, son of a galactically famous ambassador, born and raised in the capital city of Shi’Khar, heirs to a massive estate on the homeworld, and educated in schools where admission to the elite Vulcan Science Academy is taken for granted. 

Spock is the adult Vulcan equivalent of Prince Archie, if Harry hadn’t left The Institution.

Of COURSE we get flashbacks of Vulcan kids bullying Spock! The Learning Center is equivalent to the sort of British Boarding School where they sent King Charles. These places are meant to break kids. They’re all about exclusivity and maintaining the elite status quo. After all, maintaining tradition is only logical, and holy shit do Vulcans love their rituals - even if those rituals include hardcore school bullying. 

Look at how the British royal family and media treat Meghan Markle. Now look at how all the Vulcans in Spock’s orbit treat Amanda Grayson. If Amanda had married a nice Vulcan biologist somewhere out in the colonies no one would have cared, but no, she married the single most high profile Vulcan Royalty of his generation. Plenty of Vulcans were no doubt jealous she snatched up that prize of a bondmate, then masked it as criticizing his choice for being “illogical in the extreme.” 

I like to think that most Vulcans are just out there living their best IDIC lives. 

Meanwhile, the S’chn T’gai family is out there living by Royalty Rules in everything they do. 

Mutiny? Pshaw. Our great grandmother T’Pau knows a guy who knows a guy who will make the paperwork disappear. Stealing a ship? Well, the family could buy it outright, but that would be gauche. Starting a cult? Sybok is a direct descendant of Surak himself. Who better to lead a revolution?

[aquickstart]

one thing that's been talked about here and by creators and is obvious but still important to articulate (to me) is that oliver is not envious of the cattons because they are wealthier than him, necessarily. it's not about the money. or it is, but in a way that everything in life is about money: no matter how much you have, you kind of always want more, because want is a very strong driver. he's not coming from a place of poverty or any financial need at all, and he is not genuinely burning with the anger at the rich as a working-class guy constantly overpowered by them. there is no righteousness of the oppressed in his motives; sure, he "knows how to work", but to me—and this is, again, personal interpretation—the more important part is that the cattons "made it so easy" for him to take everything from them. it doesn't matter where oliver is coming from, ultimately (which is why he is so pointedly an upper middle class kid, quite comfortable, not a struggling genius he paints himself to be). for oliver, and for his audience, what matters is what he wants, not why he wants it; how badly he wants, how deep inside his own desire he is.

in short, it's not that the cattons had something he didn't have. it's just that they had something he wanted.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Here's a little thing that's turning into my head after the latest episode.

Gwen has clearly been rattled by Mr. Bonzo and this casement obviously didn't help. And you can feel she wants to talk about it to someone, but she can't go to her Posh Friends she already feels "meh" about seeing because it throws back at her what she assumes to be her failures to progress As She Should in the Capitalist world, because well, they'll assume she's lost it, and she'll lost the last of her credibility.

She can't really go to Lena either, because although Lena is well-aware of everything that's going on, actually, and might have, in another world, be a mentor of sort to help her go through the process of the ugly shit they're doing (still rooting for that in the long term ngl), Gwen absolutely won't show any proper weakness or vulnerability in front of Lena -- I think what we saw of last episode is the most she'll allow herself to be. Being demanding and angry rather than, y'know, have the good cry she clearly wanted to have. Lena is still her superior; she doesn't respect her (yet, i suspect) but she's spent the last few years being openly antagonistic and unashamedly ambitious at her -- Gwen's pride can't let her go "nevermind, actually, you were right" about all of it.

Colin is off the grid, Sam and Celia are the newest babies and, possibly, from Gwen's point of view, not reliable in that they might leave soon (and also having a romance affair, though if Gwen is even just a little bit as jon-coded as she seriously appears to be rn, she has NOT realized at all) so of course, of course, that leaves Alice.

Alice might be infuriating and vexing and an horrible coworker, in her mind, but she's also the one who's been here longest, longer than Gwen. She's a form of stability for Gwen, at this point, and from what we heard in the early episodes of the show, they can, on occasion, actually discuss serious work-related topics that might affect them both. On top of that, Alice asks. Alice, however minimal the effort is, seems to care. Which Gwen seems to be in serious need of, if the coffee-scene was any indication.

So of course she tries to talk to Alice about it. Who else is there?

[somewhatsentientspellbook]

they're determined, i'll give them that

[parasolemn]

[Image description: Harry du Bois, holding the bottle of medicinal spirit, looking at it with an inquisitive eyebrow raised. Logic is lecturing him: "If you drink this, then you will die. That's a fact. And that's why we're going to save you from yourself and store this as a SELLABLE item. Go sell it at the pawnshop for a profit." End ID.]

sooo I accidentally made a full list of quotes slash scenes I would want to do if I participated in skilltober. i Promise at least a few of them aren't shitposts. let's see how long it takes me to get overwhelmed by everything 😏

i'll also compile other times i've drawn the skills. there is a 90% chance most of them will have like zero but it's ok. I forgive myself.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 11

PREVIOUS

FF could admit that he may not be working with a full tank at the moment.

He had not slept very well the night before.

He had watched a lot of horror movies (a genre that he generally does not consume because his mind is already a scary enough place).

He was not able to go see his Grandma and he was going to miss the traditional(tm) Black Friday extravaganza that he and his Grandma did every Black Friday since he was little and encountered the horrible truth about Santa and she’d let him in on when / where most of his Christmas gifts were obtained. (The answer was not the North Pole under the watchful eye of elves. He had cried himself to sleep at the revelation but Gran always had a way of making the worst moments of his life tolerable.)

He may have eaten just…a bit too much pie?

He definitely ate too much turkey.

His stomach is killing him because he had forgotten to take his pepto when he had slammed that five hour energy.

His heart may actually break out of his rib cage with how hard it’s beating in his chest.

He’s been listening to Andrew and Captain Neil go back and forth for the last hour and a half between discussing Aaron’s recent mess ups, to what they’ll do to one another with a locked door between them and the world, to Andrew complaining that Neil’s hand is sweaty, to Neil saying Yes and Andrew’s hand is no longer in Neil’s and-

He clenches his eyes close.

And Andrew has swerved back into the lane for the third time in the last five minutes while saying something unrepeatable about his plans for Captain Neil and the whipped cream.

FF does not handle swerving cars very well.

He hears Andrew say something that sounds like it could lead to a very uncomfortable yeast infection for Captain Neil didn’t properly rinse off afterwards.

The car swerves over the rumble strip.

A fear far stronger than his fear of what Andrew could do to him overtakes him.

“I don’t like swerving cars. So, I’m going to ask that you focus on the road and keep your hands on the steering wheel.” FF says so panicked that he sounds calm and he watches as both Neil and Andrew stiffen at the sound of his voice. “If you can’t, then I’m going to ask that you pull over and let me out.” He offers a second option and a part of him is just amazed that his voice doesn’t crack even once. “I’m fine with either option.” He says.

He says both are fine but…

Honestly he hopes Andrew chooses the first option as he looks at the dark and lonely highway.

He looks back up at the front seat and both Neil and Andrew are looking straight forward. Andrew’s hands are on the steering wheel.

“Thanks.” He says and returns his attention to back over Aaron’s head.

The rest of the ride to Columbia is blessedly quiet. Aaron and Nicky wake up when they get off of the interstate and Nicky has the good grace to try and wipe the drool out of FF’s hair while Aaron seems unbothered by the wet spot he left of FF’s shoulder.

They get out of the car and they each grab their own bag in exhausted silence. Nicky is barely managing to put one foot in front of the other and before FF can do or say anything Nicky is in his room and has locked his door.

The room that FF had been planning on sleeping on the floor of because Nicky had told him he could so that FF would not drink 20 5-hour energies over the course of the weekend.

But Nicky had looked really tired.

So he is given a general tour by a very quiet Captain Neil and FF forces himself not to think about the cooler that Andrew had brought to, what he assumes is, Andrew’s bedroom before it was brought to the kitchen. He gets shown where the blankets and pillows that Kevin uses are and FF nods in quiet acceptance even knowing that he is going to spend the night going over Katakana flashcards and maybe up his literacy on Kanji to a second grader’s level.

Captain Neil wishes him a good night while Andrew gives him a nod and it is the last time he sees Captain Neil that night.

It is not the last time he sees Andrew.

***

Andrew comes out of his room to go get two glasses of water nearly 2 and a half hours later. The house is silent and dark. He is pretty sure him and Neil are the only two up.

He is wrong.

He comes out into the living room on his way to the kitchen and finds FF going through flashcards at a rapid pace. He walks a little closer to see what it is but the flashcards aren’t even right side up half of the time.

He thinks about the car ride.

‘I don’t like swerving cars.’

FF had said it so matter of factly. He was uncomfortable with the swerving.

Andrew had told FF recently about the words he didn’t like.

It felt like FF was offering at least something of himself back to Andrew for the first time.

Andrew thinks about how once his hands had gone back to the steering wheel FF had leaned back into his seat and stared out the window.

Andrew has at various points tried to look up what FF’s circumstances were but searching news sites for someone named ‘Smith’ with no first name to work off of was an exercise in futility.

Neil has lamented many times to Andrew about his bizarre jealousy over how unknowable Smith is. “He’s learning new languages, keeping a low profile, and playing Exy. It’s everything that I wanted in my freshman year and couldn’t manage because Riko pissed me off so much! It’s just kind of hard to see someone living my dream.” He says.

Andrew had punched him in the arm for that one.

“My old dream!” Neil had said and Andrew almost punched him again for the smile he flashed but had ended up kissing his stupid pretty face instead.

Where was he?

Right.

FF didn’t like swerving cars.

It didn’t necessarily have to be the trauma that lead to that aversion. Andrew certainly hadn’t had anything scare him on a plane but he still hated flying.

Still.

“The flash card is upside down.” He says and watches as FF pauses in his shuffling before righting that card and flipping to the next one which was turned to the side as far as Andrew could tell.

FF should be asleep.

FF is not asleep.

It might be Andrew’s fault that his friend can’t sleep.

“It won’t happen again.” He says and FF turns and stares at him blankly for a few seconds before he nods his acceptance.

It’s nice having a friend who understands what he means without needing to explain every little thing.

***

FF thinks he might have double-dosed on the 5-hour energy.

He also thinks he might currently be able to see through time.

His flashcards are making so much sense right now.

Then Andrew had come up and it truly was a miracle that he did not shit himself considering the sheer amount of apple pie still making its way through his system. That’s a lot of fiber for one body and he’s sure the 2-3 Five Hour energies he has taken are not helping his plight in that regard.

“It won’t happen again.” Is what Andrew says and in an instant FF feels his stomach drop to his feet. He nods blankly and watches as Andrew nods back before the man went to the kitchen and left with two tall glasses of water.

‘It won’t happen again’

FF has asked Andrew for TWO favors today.

TWO WHOLE FAVORS.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

The answer was that he WASN’T.

Even if FF had paid back one of those favors with the sheer power of his granny’s pie there was the case of the secondary favor he’d asked for in the car.

‘It won’t happen again’

There won’t be anymore favors for FF. He’d used up any mercy his grandma’s pie had bought him.

He considers the time pulls out his phone and goes through some saved text files on his phone.

It’s time for guns even bigger than his grandma’s apple pie.

He takes another five hour energy and knows that he won’t be sleeping a wink. He looks up groceries stores that are open this early on Black Friday, he grabs his wallet and with immense fear in his heart grabs the keys Aaron had dropped into a bowl by the front entrance.

He needs the ingredients for his great-grandma’s brownies.

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES

NEXT

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As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[kennyomegasweave]

Ming in the restaurant:

Man can't even mention himself around Ming without Ming hearing Kill Bill sirens and it's just

I love him. He's so unwell.

[philosophiums]

truly i have been eating all of the theories/ideas lately about itfs cursing each other in some way shape or form at the end of the manga. i love twisted love stories i love a bittersweet ending i love living through the tragedy by enacting violence upon yourself and your loved ones OUGH it's so good

megumi whose main goals this entire series have been centered around yuuji. yuuji who is possibly already acting under the (beginning?) effects of a curse that megumi put on him ("start by saving me" - could also argue that "you've got it from here" isn't helping either kjsdbvjkdfb). megumi who watched yuuji die once and who refuses to see it happen again. yuuji who has witnessed up close everyone dear to him die and cannot lose megumi too....

just... the fighting and clawing and tearing at themselves and each other - desperate to stay together no matter what, even if it leaves them scarred and broken on the other side. because wounds can heal and they can fight to realign themselves with each other and the world, but none of it means anything if they're not alive and together

[islandoforder]

Hi just properly scrolled through your blog for the first time and wanted to ask a question:

Re: Riz should be class president post from over a week ago - why should it be Riz over Kristen now that the class president position has stakes? Is it because of Kristen’s inconsistent access to her spells in case she needed to defend herself? I’d love to hear more about your thought process regarding this - assuming your opinion hasn’t changed since making that post.

My thoughts personally are that character-wise, it makes more sense to me for Riz to be the one strategizing as the campaign manager, because he’s the one actually finding a lot of the traps the Rat Grinders have put out for them.

Whereas Kristen makes more sense to me as a candidate purely because of her charisma and good radar for social bs - her weakness, of course, being that she’s a bit of a wild card in her choices regarding the campaign. But at the same time, she’s been able to get away with wearing a soggy salsa hat in front of the entire student body and still maintain some chance for the candidacy.

Obviously, I’m ignoring the more mechanical aspects of this comparison. If that’s what you were referring to in your original post idk then. I’m still wrapping my head around how Riz rolls so well now, level 10 dnd shit is way over my head.

Sorry if this was long, I just wanted to express my thoughts as well as hear yours! Idk how far away we are from getting back to the campaign to class president, who knows what happens after they get back from fallinel!

hi! sorry this is such a late reply, i've been away and i wanted to watch the new ep before i started posting about anything d20 in case of unintentional spoilers haha

so i think part of it is that, imho, brennan intended the class president arc to be riz's:

kipperlily is a rogue, v type a, and a narrative foil to riz, and this would have directly pitted them against one another

riz needed extra credit things for his college app, like being involved in student govt/being student president

there's also something about kipperlily being fundamentally riz but richer

kristen's arc was clearly always going to be about cassandra, trying to regain her favour, or increase her popularity, or resurrect her

nara is the kristen foil this season (once again, kristen but richer)

everyone has like an individual arc this season except for riz, bc his was supposed to be student president

beyond all of this, i don't actually think kristen is able to take the student president stuff too seriously - every time she tries, she ends up doing a bit instead, at the steel workers union, at the middle school, even at the party. i actually think if riz was the candidate, he would manage himself, in the same way that fabian wanted to be the party house and arranges that himself, and adaine needed a job and worked on and got that herself. so like i agree that he's the best campaign manager, but that doesn't preclude him from being the best candidate as well??

also, frankly, a lot of the good social graces kristen has had this year are from riz putting in the hard work - him joining all the clubs and making those connections, him taking stress to give her more popularity, his own popularity, etc.

like i'm enjoying the silliness of kristen's campaign, but i'm kind of with sklonda on this - riz would be a better candidate, and it is to some degree a shame that he's putting this much effort into running a campaign for someone else. if they legit need the student body president bc they'll become proxy headmaster, then i think a more serious campaign with riz at the helm and finally having his time in the spotlight is not a bad idea!!

[bietrofastimoff23]

no hate but tbh I don't understand all these admiring sighs around Rhaenys "the queen who never was" Targaryen. well... thank goodness. this woman needs to be kept as far away from the throne as possible. not only does she suffer humiliation from the people she stands for (obvious bastards, an attempt to usurp her granddaughter, a daemyra wedding immediately after her daughter's funeral, the possible "murder" of her son by them, etc.). okay, it's her choice. but also this woman killed hundreds of people for the sake of a cringe girlboss moment, and now she said "then I’d pity Aemond" as if Syrax had any chance against Vhagar. maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she just didn't have a heart for smallfolk, but she doesn't even have a brain for simple things like this. the kingdom was blessed when the Seven saved it from her rule 🙏

[cienie-isengardu]

Mortal Kombat 1 Behind the Scenes AU: Climbing on the wall (nonsense)

[Cage’s Mansion] [Waiting for Liu Kang] [Special Bonus] [Grandmaster’s commentary] [Climbing scene] [Madam Bo’s Inn] [Cage’s Mansion 2 (fire extinguisher)] [Medic] [Shang Tsung’s sad face] [Smoke’s Fall] [Scenography (1)] [Scenography (2)] [Show off!] [Favorite brother]

[hedonistbyheart]

Jitterbug!