#but now they think im the Lying Liar right off the bat so it's going to be impossible to get removed 😭

[piplupod]

I've been wondering why MH workers have been treating me like I'm The Lying Liar when I talk about emotions and other people's reactions to things and I found out today (by glancing at a medical form that my counselor filled out for my intake at a program) that my psychiatrist actually did diagnose me with BPD and the psychologist who disagreed with that diagnosis and instead PROPERLY diagnosed me with ASD didn't get BPD taken off my file..... I'M SO PEEVED. and I doubt I'll be able to get BPD removed from my file because MH workers act like everyone diagnosed with a cluster B disorder is an attention-seeking liar. dragging my hands down my face. this is so stupid oh my god. any BPD symptoms that I do have are better explained by OTHER disorders I have 😭

[yandere-daze]

hey! amir has just been taking up some space in my mind lately so id like to request something for them (headcanons or scenario) in case his s/o ever found out about who they truly were. I like fluff so id appreciate if the s/o could be understanding about it, but im not against some angst either

Hehe good! It seems like my evil masterplan of making my followers simp for Amir is working 😏But no for real, so happy with all of the requests I´m getting for them!!

Hope you like this, I tried to keep it as fluffy as possible ^^ It´s more of a hurt/comfort thingy I would say though so be cautious that there is a bit of angst with Amir at least!

tw yandere ( barely, but as always I will mention it), self-doubt, slight angst, implied stalking I guess?

What if his s/o found out about his true identity?

Okay so I need to start this off by saying that this would most likely be a nightmare scenario in Amir´s mind. They have been trying to keep their real identity a secret from you to the best of their abilities for a long time now, fearing that you might one day find out

His main fear is that you might hate him if you found out that he was actually a god. Now of course, Amir doesn´t think so lowly of you that you would be prejudiced against him for who he is but he fears for your reaction once you find out that they had been lying to you all this time

He hates having to pretend that he is human and he´s not having an easy time with it either because there´s so many things that he is unfamiliar with but he just thinks it´s better that way

What would you think if you knew that they had been watching you in heaven for months before coming down to earth to seek you out to try and get closer to you? You must think they´re some sort of disgusting creep and a filthy liar on top of that!

Really, they´ve been scared of this moment for so long now, picturing worst case scenarios in their mind and scaring themselves even futher, that Amir had never even considered that you might just...accept him for who he is

Your realization that your dear beloved might not be a human doesn´t come from one singular moment where he might have shown his true colors but rather from several small instances in which he had shown strange behaviour

You thought it strange that Amir was so far behind on internet terms and customs (like that one time you t-posed right in front of them) but had assumed that they might just have come from a very isolated small village where they had no access to the internet or something. It´s rare but not impossible so you just went along with it and explained all you could to Amir

But then these instances just kept piling on, regular things that most humans would most likely know about. How do you turn on a stove? What is a radio? Why are these two humans kissing each other? ( Yes Amir had indeed referred to them as “humans” which was more than a little weird in your eyes). What are these weird large machines with 4 wheels that seem to swallow humans that he keeps seeing everywhere? Aren´t they dangerous? Are they going to hurt you?? Should they be fighting them off???

So yes, something was clearly wrong to say the least so even though it  seemed far-fetched you considered that Amir himself might not be human. Silly, right?

You had thought the same, but the way Amir sputtered and stumbled over his words when you had made an off-handed remark about it while you were hanging out together made you think otherwise

“What? I- N-No! Wait! Please, no! Don´t hate me! I´m so sorry for lying to you but I- I just couldn´t tell you the truth! I understand if you want me to leave now  but I just...”

You were quite taken aback but seeing Amir look so shaken and afraid made your heart clench so lay a comforting hand on his shoulder to try and help him calm down

The fact that you weren´t pulling away or making any disgusted faces at him was more relieving for Amir to see than you could ever have imagined

You were listening to him

You would hear him out

You weren´t disgusted with him right off the bat

You didn´t hate him

yet

he reminded himself

But at least there was still a chance. So when you urged them to explain, there was no stopping them anymore. Amir had kept his identity a secret from you for what felt like an eternity so now that they could finally reveal everything to you, their words burst forth like the raging waters of a waterfall

They told you absolutely everything. That they were actually the god of love and that he had spent almost all of his long life up in heaven. How they spent day and night matchmaking humans from up above but never having experienced any of that himself.

And then, and this was hardest for him to admit, Amir had seen you and grown incredibly interested in you. ( They tried to at least keep their deep love for you a bit ambigious because even though they were telling you so much right now, they didn´t feel like they were ready to confess that they harbored feelings for you even before actually meeting you, just from watching you day in and out)

And because of that, they had decided to come down to earth to get to know you better.

“I´m so sorry for staying quiet about this for so long but I thought you would not believe me if I told you! Or even worse, you might have been scared of me or even disgusted and I really didn´t want that to happen!”

It´s a huge relief to Amir when you tell him that it´s okay and that you believe him.

“You don´t have to feel bad about hiding it, I would have done the same. But knowing this about you changes nothing for me! You´re still the same Amir I deeply care about and nothing I´ve heard today has changed my mind about that.”

Honestly, Amir would feel like their heart could burst right this moment, he feels so fuzzy and happy all over. This was the best possible outcome: He doesn´t have to hide who he is anymore and you accept him for who he is

Of course you would accept them, you´ve been nothing but gracious and kind to him, how could they ever have doubted you? They should be ashamed of themselves for even thinking that you might abandon them for something like this!

But really Amir can´t even be bothered to talk themselves down too much because they are just so so happy and relieved that it all ended well

You could swear he´s tearing up when you wrap your arms around him for a hug. His body is trembling in your grasp but he doesn´t hesitate to wrap his arms around you as well, the powerful emotions coursing through him enough to push past his usual shyness

Just, please keep telling Amir how much they mean to you and that you love them, they are really craving the reassurances right now

Or pepper his face in kisses! He loves that and he´s just so happy to receive any affection from you that he can!

You will most likely spend the rest of the day huddled together, cuddling and holding hands under a comfortable blanket, just enjoying each other´s presence

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being a Party Member

Stranger Kids x reader

warnings:

a/n: 💖💖 these ones were kind bad but i hope you like!

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Can you make a headcannon for Stranger Things of just being in the party? Sorry if its too vague. Thank you so much for giving us so much free content!!”

you’ve known the boys for a long, long time

your mom was friends with joyce in high school, so you knew will your whole life

he introduced you to mike and soon lucas and dustin had joined the mix

let’s face it, you guys weren’t the most popular, but as long as you had each other it was fine

“at recess do you want to play castle?”

“yes! but we need to make up our characters”

will the wise was born that day, it just stuck

you guys were obsessed with star wars when it came out

“i’d totally be a jedi” -mike

“mike, you’d cry at the sight of any alien creature”

“not true!”

“i think lucas would be a kickass pilot, though”

“i’d get the princess, too” -lucas

dustin ended up playing lightsabers with you, though

you’ve accidentally knocked down tons of stuff in mike’s basement

“cut it out, you guys!”

“soooorryyyyy”

“you are not!”

AV club was just the 5 of you acting afool under adult supervision

mr. clark was still proud of your young minds, though

D&D campaigns, you were the rogue

you were also easily distracted during the game

“anyone want chips, im gonna get some chips”

“no! you can’t leave now!”

“watch me”

playing with mike’s toys while he’s not looking

battling them with lucas, dustin, and will

until mike started protesting

bike rides around town until sunset

SLEEPOVERS

“who the hell is snoring?”

“i think it’s dustin”

“PILLOW FIGHT!!!”

“kids, time to sleep!” -any parent

“let’s watch a scary movie”

“no! i mean—i’m tired” -mike

depending on which house you were staying in, you’d have a great time

will’s brother, jonathan, was always nice to you

nancy...not so much

“hi na—” *door slams* “oh...”

erica always intruded on your sleepovers at lucas’s

“i wanna play! can i play?”

“no, erica, go play somewhere else”

“you’re so mean, lucas”

“bye!”

dustin didn’t have any siblings, but he did have a cat who was pretty nice

“hi mews!”

the night will disappeared was a night you’ll never forget

you were so determined to find him, he had to be around somewhere

you ended up getting in deeper water than you’d originally thought when you met eleven, who apparently had superpowers

“mike!!! you’re mom is gonna kill you for bringing a random girl in the house”

“i know! shhhhh”

she was weird to say the least

and it was pretty scary sneaking around with her

“dude...she has the force”

“shut up!”

after a long week of fighting with your friends and encountering inter dimensional monsters and the government, you realized your life would never be the same

your mom was pretty protective over you for a while

the party had to come to your house instead for the next few months

“sorry guys, she’s just...really upset about the whole thing”

“it’s okay, y/n. we don’t mind”

being each other’s support system

especially when it came to will, he really worried you guys

“today is will’s doctor visit, hope it goes okay...”

spending HOURS in the arcade, struggling to beat other people’s high scores

“i’m gonna do it! i’m gonna get the top score!”

“in your dreams, y/n”

hAlLoWeEn

you knew you weren’t supposed to dress up at school but no one was paying attention to you when you told them

unfortunate.

there was a new girl who mike hated right off the bat

but lucas and dustin wouldn’t stop fighting over

“you two are the worst, you know that?”

trick or treating and dumping your candy later on to trade, the most effective way to get the best halloween

“nougat, disgusting. anybody want it? i’ll give it to you for free”

*dustin and you simultaneously* “ME!”

dustin’s “pet lizard” scaring the hell out of you

“dart makes me...uncomfortable”

max pulling you aside to ask why mike hates her

“uh...he’s a dick? i don’t know”

you and max ended up getting along pretty okay, though

she did complain about mike a LOT though

and when lucas filled her in on the demogorgon/upside-down/eleven situation, EVERYONE was pissed

you guys realized that the upside down stuff was not over and there was an epic teamup with all of you yaaaay

steve harrington adopted you it’s true

eleven came back

that was cool

you gave her a hug bc like duh??? you missed her

steve babysitting you guys and then getting beat up by max’s stepbrother, billy

“can i hit him? i wanna hit him”

“do it!”

doing dumbass shit in the tunnels that ended up working out anyways! yay!

“we’re all gonna die we’re all gonna die oh my god i’m too young to die”

“Y/N STOP”

in the end everything was (mostly) okay but like, that was scarring

summer rolled around and el and mike were dating, max and lucas were dating, and dusting came back from camp and claimed to be dating some girl from faaaar away

“liar”

“i’m not lying!”

steve sneaking you into movies

he also gave you (and only you) free ice cream but only bc he knew you wouldn’t tell anyone else

robin and you talking while you hid in the break room to eat your ice cream

“so...what do you do for fun”

“kill monsters”

“oh...okay”

kinda sick of the party’s shit for a while, so dustin and you were off scheming with the scoops employees

bad ideaaaa!! the russians!! you were almost killed!!

rescue mission for steve and robin

“they’re high as shit”

“nO YOu aRe”

“wonderful, we’re screwed”

losing them fhdhdhsh

“y/n?!”

“what? i’m not a babysitter!”

being chased by russians but also the rest of the party showing up and updating you but also adults finally making an appearance and you wanting to cry because like what the fuck is happening

being chased by the mind flayer

“GUYS IF WE DONT MAKE IT I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I LOVE YOU”

“Y/N. STOP SAYING THINGS THAT MAKE US THINK WE’RE GOING TO DIE”

eek that night sucked

you also almost fell down the hill that cerebro was placed on

and then uhhh hopper died so that was really bad and will ended up moving away with el and everyone was very sad

your mom cried when joyce left :(

you cried way too much

might i add going over to lucas’s to hang out with erica bc now you guys are friends lmaooo

“why are you here, y/n?”

“erica wanted me to come over”

“you two are impossible”

and to end this on a high note, the remaining party members in town were finally working through their differences as you all grew up and knew that it’d be impossible to separate for good

also pizza nights every week (sometimes accompanied by an older teen bc why not)

“if you guys eat all the damn pizza we’re gonna have a problem”

“we can’t help it! we’re growing!”

taglist: @locke-writes // @queenofthehairharrington // @praellee // @bonniesbabybunnie // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr]

Shang Chi Spoilers

Feel like I’ve waited long enough to post my Shang Chi movie ramblings cause I took notes during it. Idk how to do read more on mobile so just scroll down fast sorry

“No wifi so I’m doing this in my notes app rn

There’s a Eternals trailer now I think cause it’s marvel

Oh yeah they just said it.

They were talking about Thanos and they’re asking why they didn’t help

God I remember reading about them for something I was writing

So ready to see them in a movie

Angelia Jolie is so pretty

ITS STARTING AHHH

ima take notes and kinda just scream about it here until my phone dies and I only have 27%

Normal Marvel into not the what if one

Okay backstory or a legend of the ten rings

Power hungry man owns them sounds about right

That was 10s of thousands of years ago tho

OH wait he’s immortal

Killer Trees cool

Wanna look up who write and directed this but again the wifi sucks

This girl is badass tho one in the green dress

This is stating to feel romancey

Yep it was they fell in love and had a baby

Shang Chi

Feels like the moms gonna die but Shang Chi is like 10 here

But it’s a marvel movie she’s dying

I HAVE NO WIFI SO I CANT SCAN THE COOL PRESENT DAY SONG

Katy is so cool

They’re bringing up the Blip again I know it was huge but im annoyed

EW OLD TOWN ROAD MADE A CAMEO

Katy lives with her mom

Ooo they have in California

THE TRAILER FIGHT

AHHHH

There’s a one arm guy

Or one wrist ig

ITS a knife now cool

aaakakak They bus drivers going s fast

Did laptop girl get to save her research paper

Shang driving the bus now

Okay Jatys driving now

Bus is sepersting

THEY TOOK HIS PENDANT

they’re going after his sister

His dad is still evil and power hungry

He’s going to find his sister

Yep te mom died and he’s still 10

Okay he’s being trained and I think his sister is training on her own shes probably like the rightful owner of the rings or smth idk

Katy is a ride or die

Bus video went viral AHHH hes bus boY WORLD STAR

They’re making

HOLY SHIT ITS WONG

HES FIGHTING A MONSTER THINH

HE CHOPPED HIS HAND OFF

God I love him I missed him

San fransisco say hi to Cassie for me

ITS GONNA BE HIS SISTER

THE FIGHTER

I KNEW IT

she’s made at him for leaving I bet.

Kicked him in the balls

She told him he shouldn’t have come back

Aww young her misses mom

She’s asking him not to leave awww

He said he’ll be back

Liar 🤔🤔🤣🤣😭😭😩😩🥺🥺🙄

She didn’t send the post card

20%

They gotta leave out the window that building is so tall and she looked down

Shang is so cool

AJAJAKAK KATY IS SINGING HIGHWAY TO HELL

NOO SHES FALLINH

HIS SISTER CAUGHT HER THANK GOD

NOW THEY FIGHTING TOGETHER AWW

Marvel loves this sibling rivalry things

THE GUY THAT TRAINED SHANG IS HERE

both pendants are gone know

HIS DAD IS HERE

ANAJAJKA my alarm just went off embarrassing

Xia is building her own empire

Family dinner scene Black Widow parallels

Story of a name hmm

Their wedding pictures are so pretty

They looked like a cute family while the mom was still there

He said their mother is still there in Ta Lo

They need to save her.

Idk if he’s lying or not.

Immortal guy is a true narcissist blaming a village on his actions and being a shitty dad.

THEYRE PENDANTS ARE MAGICAL

Liverpool Trevor oh from BRO ITS THE GUY FROM IRON MAN the one who played the mandarin terrorist was that iron 3 or two? I missed his hobo sell. But I hated the iron man and first two Thor movies so

Maurice can take them monster guy magical

Xia broke them out

Fancy car

Made it through the killer trees good job Katy

Whoa the CGI is so cool oh my god

Tai Loa is beautiful

AWWW MAURICE IS HOME HIS FAMILY

THE DRAGON HORSES THINGYS AWW

GIANT LION DRAGON?? Idk what those are. The villagers are all standing “guard” idk maybe.

Okay moms name is Ying Lu

Magic weapons

THEIR AUNT aww she’s hugging them.

Keepers of dark gate he’s tryna open the gate

There’s an evil behind it and the rings want him to open it???

Dweller of Darkness ima look that up

A dragon is the great protector

Dragon Scales are used as armor

They’re being lured by a voice soul eaters.

The magic animals are so cute

KARY HAS A FANNY PACK

She’s so adorable

“If yiu aim at nothing you hit nothing”

SHANG’s armor from the trailer they just got it. AWW XIA GETS TO TRAIN

You go Katy almost getting a bullseye

You got a cool ass auntie Shang

They have to know who they are for the magic to work.

Must face both light and darkness to know yourself

She’s sending her kids away to be self sacrificial to the iron gang

NOO SHANG IS GONNA WATCH

She just made a perfect circle with her foot

Shang is crying my her body noooo

He’s comforting Xia

“A blood death has to be paid by blood”

HE KILLED THE GUY

HE LIED

I BET HE DID

I KNEW IT

I KNEW IT AHHHHH

He’s gonna kill he’s dad

Yep

All of his sentences are so predictable

They’re fighting the dads army now

Gotta feeling Katy is gonna do smth to save the day

I bet the dads gonna succeeded just to mess up the multiverse even more darkness is gonna give it.

Wow he just “killed” his son

Okay The Dad is at the dark gate

THE DARK BATS ARE OUT

I KNEW HE WAS GONNA OPEN IT

The bat is gonna kill him

EW IT TOOK HIS SOUL

They regenerate they’re so ugly

They’re stealing souls okay.

Yeah Katy goes to help

He knows himself while his drowning idk

Remember Katy “you aim at nothing you hit nothing”

The scene where he’s sinking is beautiful

Think he found a tunnel

Nvm he found his moms dragon

YAY it’s eating those ugly bats

I think Shang is speaking to it

He did his moms circle foot thing ima look up what that’s called later

aww he knows himself now he’s like figntninh with his mom too.

The Mandarin was playing dead and Maurice was checking on him aww

THE THINHS ARE FLOATING AROUND SHANG

HE HAS THE TIGHT TO THEM NOW.

HE FOUND HIS CENTER AND HIMSELF FR FR NOW

WAIT NO

HE HAS HIS OWN RINGD

HE MADE THEM I THINK

the dad punched the ground and now the theater is shaking.

The dad lost his rings

Shang is badass doing all this after just learning about it.

He didn’t kill his dad he threw the rings on the floor.

He decided he’s not worth it.

THE DWELLER IS ALMOST OUT

NVM IY IS OUT

ITS SO UGLY

UT TOOK AND ATE THE DADS SOUL

must’ve tasted nasty

HE GAVE SHANG THE RINGS

AHAJAJAKAK

Shang folded that mf and Xialing is riding a dragon

Cool

The dragon did smth and the water is swallowing it

NOO

it got more souls it’s stronger

I think it’s almost Katy’s time to shine

HER MENTOD DEAD NOOO

is it just me or have directors had no qualms about killing and introducing characters in the same moving

KATY DID IT

SHE HAD HER MOMENT

AHHHHH she shot the throat. You go girl

He put the rings in the dweller in the whirlpool thing and he’s destroying them I think.

Yep it exploded

Nasty

Dragon got Shang

It was very refreshing to not have the main character have a romance plot.

They’re telling the story and their friends think they’re insane

No one believes them

WONG

WONG IS BEHIND THEM

AWWW MY BABY

HAHA here present

Katy and Shang are being recruited

. Katy always had such cool pants”

[kingsofneon]

ayyy its me coming in here!!! i have no requests off the bat but uhhhh ok ok hear me out. acesabo but with like. a finger kink or something? like, long pretty fingers fingering the hell out of each other or just sensually sucking on it, idk, i'll let you decide. OR, more expansion on robinkoalasabo, blease?

look okay look im just. vibing with sabo/ace rn so i gotta talk abt them but real quick i love argumentative best friend/enemy / qpp koala/sabo and both of them liking robin, LMAO !!!!! bitch!!! that shit’s hilarious. robin i think would be uhh....unused to such honest attraction? yah sabo’s a lying liar but there’s a difference in his...sarcasm vs his “I’m telling a lie so you don’t know the truth I dont want to tell you”, is what i think. so idk in what i set up i guess we have ko/ro first and Kinda girlfriends (im.....ded for fro/bin tho soz so absoLUTE we have not-yet-together-kinda-feelings-but-complicated-bc-trauma robin/franky + bc theyre not together the...flattery + enjoyment of koala’s personality and company...) friends w/ benefits didn’t-really-date but like each other a lot. and koala so sunny and happy buuut also spending Lots of time with robin - just hanging out but also sexy fun times - and sabo’s like “no I’m not sulking shut the fuck up” (but he’s totally sulking because he Liked robin too, she was someone he respected highly and she! knows! luffy! he doesn’t say anything to her about it bc he’s guilty as fuck but. boii wants those strawhat stories and he can’t sneak them out of her with koala taking up all of her attention.) 

koala picks up on his grumpy mood but just figures he’s being a dick abt smth, but robin’s like nah look, pattern, and koala’s like oh. OH? 

idk what they do but w/e we be vibing with nsfw, which is sabo’s. sabo’s fucking fingers man. the tensile strength. BUT ALSO he’s not very delicate, not very good with flexibility, so robin,,ho fuck boi. when against koala the dichotomy of the roughness vs that clever stroking, but then also bRO im thinking about sabo viewing masturbation etc. pretty clinically and also Be Careful Of Strength, ain’t gotta lot of time to jerk off when you’re running the revolution u know.

so like the first time robin tops im fucking laughing. koala’s probably just as rough/efficient as he is but robin...robin can unlace him in like a minute flat and figures out real quick that sabo likes being edged. the first time robin touches his prostrate..........boi. 

anyway omfg that was longer than i thought so hand kink + sabo/ace

FIRST 

if you haven’t read.......second chances (https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495015?view_full_work=true).........what are you doing. look at this shit:

“You want to watch me jerk it like this?” The buckle rattled with Ace's gesturing, and Sabo's eyes immediately fixated darkly on the belt. “Then I uh, I get to make a weird request too.”

“If you must,” Sabo replied, sounding the exact opposite of beleaguered as he discretely wiped the spit off his palm. Ace cleared his throat.

“Put on your gloves.”

Ace refused, refused to look away from the devious delight spreading across Sabo's stupid face.

“Oh Ace,” he purred, those damn fucking gloves appearing in his hands out of nowhere (did he have them tucked in his pockets this entire time?). With deliberate motions, Sabo smoothed the leather over every finger, and flexed, like he was about to whip out one of his ryusoken moves. “Are you sure you just want me to jerk off in these?”

“Well if you've got any lube tucked away,” Ace shot back, “now's the time to pull it out, put on a good show.”

Sabo's consequent exhale was nowhere near the flippant-and-suave chuckle he had clearly been aiming for. Smugly, Ace counted a point in his own favor before dropping onto his back and finally—finally—undoing his pants. As his own belt fell with heavy thumps to both sides, Ace brushed aside all the pesky cloth, and applied pressure in earnest with a sigh of pleasure.

and this

And boy was it a view. The gloves were incredibly well-worn, molded so tightly to Sabo that Ace could see the full articulation of his fingers' every curve, every bend. The buttery leather, lighter in color at the fingertips, glided over Sabo with the barest whisper of friction. Ace could see his grip change, pressure shifting as he held himself tighter and tighter, grunting in frustration.

“Can I take these off?” Sabo finally requested with a hint of a whine. Ace suddenly thought of Marco, and how he might smirk at that tone, if he was here. “It's not working for me.”

“It's working fine for me,” Ace did his best to leer, thoroughly enjoying his own bare hand's capacity for friction. Sabo made another sound of protest, and Ace gave in with a snort. “Fine. Just one hand.”

“It's all I need.” The right glove disappeared as fast as it came, and Sabo arched high and satisfied into his own hand, now skin-to-skin. He obligingly let the gloved hand remain in play though, skimming teasingly up and down, grinning sharply at Ace's open mouth. “Hey,” he ordered, “go faster.”

AND THIS!

“Anything you want,” was Ace's breathless answer. He didn't stop, even sped up, gripping hard and fast and chasing that finale. “You can have it from me.”

“I would chain you down,” Sabo snarled, practically a threat, only the blade was turned wholly inward toward himself. Like he was daring Ace to give him absolution. “I would bend you 'til you're ready to break, and keep you there for hours. I would make you beg for release, but deny you anyways. I would see your skin dark with my bruises, I would, I would—”

Ace's hands twisted hard against his binds, wanting genuinely to be free of them for the first time since they started this—and Sabo's reaction was instantaneous. A flex of haki into his fingers, and Sabo was slicing through the leather of his belt, letting Ace loose with an expression of terror.

And Ace dragged himself across the bed until he could cup Sabo's cheek in his clean palm and pull Sabo into a biting, filthy kiss. He was still hard as sin, and thrust forward into Sabo's hands to let him know—

“Anything,” he panted into Sabo's mouth, meaning it with every fiber of his being. He didn't mean for Sabo to cut open the belt; he had just wanted, so badly, to feel Sabo's touch. “You have me.”

bitch. bitch. 

idk just gonna write some prompts bc this looks long

sabo + jerking ace off while wearing his gloves + barely washing them (to ace’s embarrassment) bc he claims he likes having evidence of ace. they’re usually kept for when he’s at home tho, sabo’s gross but not that gross ;p (and ace would probably die LMAO)

 SORRY BUT THE POST I JUST REBLOGGED ABT HOLDING YOUR THUMB DOWN TO HAVE NO GAG REFLEX UM. Ace says he wants to try it but it feels weird so sabo’s like. ;) okay and runs his fingers over ace’s mouth, tapping and instructing him to hold his thumb down. tracing his teeth and teasingly not dipping his fingers down low enough, till ace glares at tries to argue smth like “this is not testing the trick” but that’s when sabo presses on his tongue, down his throat, and ace half-chokes on it. sabo just like ‘not like you have much of a gag reflex anyway’

was thinking abt this the other day but ace doing sabo’s nails and then being like dont ruin them! no touching until they’re dry but sabo’s like but idk when they’ll be dry???? bc he’s never used nail polish before and ace is like :) better not touch then as he teases sabo

ace ofc painted them gold and red bc theyre His Colours and the next day when they’re dry and pretty sabo spends ages running his hands against ace’s skin, fascinated and worshipping of how pretty ace is

before they started dating and when they were bad at handling alcohol, sabo kissing ace’s knuckles made that boi CATATONIC, his wrist would also make ace bolt bc Horny, he’s fucked when sabo kisses his wrist it’s just too...intimate. 

 headcanons, headcanons, they’re both pretty calloused in different ways...ace is like rope burns and shit, longer across his palm and knuckles, sabo has palm base bc of his pipe, but they’re confined, and then on his fingertips bc of dragon claw. AGAIN thinking about mr fast fuck brutality here like the STRENGTH in that boy’s hands wtf

ace’s hands have more scars, sabo has more callouses/micro-deposits bc he knows hand to hand/doesn’t start with a DF. 

idk where im going with that last one guess it’s just headcanons abt hands.  

that’s all fox, i like the number eight and i have so many other asks to do lmao

[megalony]

Liar- Part 3

Another part of my latest Roger Taylor series which I hope everyone is enjoying so far. Thank you for the feedback so quickly it is much appreciated.

Permanent taglist: @marshmallowmae @langdonzvoid @butlegendsneverdie @luvborhap @jennyggggrrr @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan 

Series taglist: @caborhapch @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @scarsout

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stop bloody asking." Roger snapped, his head twisting at an odd angle to look down at (Y/n) who was stood at his side. Her eyes widening at the rudeness in his tone that he had never used with her before. She couldn't help but ask if he was okay because it was clear there was something wrong with him.

Roger was getting angry. Even with the band, he snapped at the slightest little thing today which was noticeable since the moment (Y/n) walked in at lunchtime. Clearly seeing that Roger had been like this all morning since all of the band were now getting edgy with him. His hand was constantly scratching at his right arm so much he was leaving marks around the scar that he couldn't seem to get off his mind. He was more jittery than usual, Roger normally had that sense of hyperness about him which helped with drumming but today he couldn't sit still. His foot tapped up and down against the floor or the pedals so badly he was adding too many cymbal beats into the music.

Something was wrong.

"You've been pissy all morning and now you're snapping at me, what's wrong?" Something had happened last week for Roger to suddenly spike. His anxiety seemed to go through the roof and he couldn't keep himself calm or at ease, he was on a spring that was constantly going off.

"I'm just wound up." Roger sighed the words in a way that showed he didn't mean to be this rude. His head leaned back against the wall behind him as he continued to look down at (Y/n). His eyes pleading his case and saying a silent sorry as he leaned down to press his temple against hers as he closed his eyes for a moment or two. When he finally pulled back he looked over at the rest of the band. Seeing Brian was in the recording booth doing his guitar part for their latest song, John was sitting on the sofa in this room and Freddie was hanging around the controls. Just waiting to tell Brian to change his riff or tweak something here and there like he always did.

Moving his hand, Roger brought the cigarette clasped between his index and middle finger to his lips. Inhaling the calming smoke and nicotine as he went back to resting his head against the wall. His eyes intently watching (Y/n) as she wandered over to Freddie when she was beckoned.

One moment of solitude was all Roger was gaining right now. Just one moment to feel like he could calm down before he was sent reeling once again in the worst possible way. His head snapped to the left at an ungodly speed that made him feel as if he had just broken his neck. His blue orbs latching onto the redhead now standing on his right who had previously been sitting on the sofa with John.

She wore a smile that Roger could only class as devilish, and not in the good kind of way. The way that showed her thoughts were plotting something that could only be seen as bad and the true work of the devil. Her painted red lips parted just enough to show her pearl white teeth, an image that made Roger think of sharks. If she flashed her teeth at him any more than that her lips would curve in odd ways like her lips were crooked and resembled the smile of the grinch.

He could feel her fingertips dragging along his arm, her nails scraping ever so lightly he wasn't really sure if they were actually in contact with his skin or not. The feeling trailed right where he didn't want it, over the scar leading from his elbow and stopping just short of his wrist. The very scar that was now burning with the desire for Roger to scratch it raw until it bled. Her fingers didn't stop there, they trailed right up his hand until they were placed over his own that were holding the cigarette to his pale dusty rose lips. This was an action he was used to but one that he didn't like. She was always like this with everyone and Roger was the only one who didn't like it.

Her fingers delicately took the cigarette from his lips to place it between her own, taking a drag as she never let her eyes move away from his own. Her head cocked to the side as Roger clearly curved his lips in a way that resembled a sneer as if he was going to growl at her at any moment.

"Don't have your own?" Roger's tone was one that (Y/n) could decipher like it was an encrypted code as she turned her body around. Leaning against the controls so she could look over at her boyfriend in confusion and slight worry. He spoke the words in a tone that seemed almost playful, as if he was messing with the woman in front of him and (Y/n) could see that was because she and the boys were there. But if they weren't she wondered if he would have snapped at her too. Underneath, his words were spoken in a way that showed irritation. That gave away Roger was not fond of this woman who seemed to act perfectly fine and even a bit flirtatiously with him.

"You never used to mind sharing with me." She responded in a tone that was sultry. Her voice was coated in too much sugar that it would have tasted sickly on her tongue. She batted her eyelashes at the drummer who simply narrowed his back at her. His teeth rubbing against one another as the muscles surrounding his jaw pressed harshly against the skin confining them to the bone.

"Maybe I just didn't have a choice." Roger cocked his brow at her but his response was simply a puff of smoke back that was released from her slightly parted lips very slowly. The smoke whirling around his eyes and clouding around them as if they were trying to change his eye colour and darken it.

"Poor boy... does it hurt?" A violent shiver ran down Roger's spine when her fingertip went back to tracing his scar. Her head leaning to the side as she feigned innocence that had long been lost in the past. Her hand pressing that little bit harder into Roger's skin, dragging her nail down the crystal clear mark tainting him before his hand enveloped around her wrist with a bruising grip. He roughly threw her hand away from his skin before she could do any damage, feeling the overwhelming need to lash out and punch the wall or even push her down. But Roger would never have the bottle to do that.

"Does your head hurt?" Roger's comment was the one and only thing that allowed him to watch her dreadful blood-red lips falter in their broken smile that could put nightmares into the head of the bravest person on Earth. He didn't make a move to touch her or run his fingertip along her own scar like she had done him. All Roger did was glance to her temple where a small white slash mark was prominent.

Roger should have known he wouldn't have won that battle.

He never seemed to win. His eyes burned like the sun as he watched her take another, very slow drag of the almost finished cigarette before she leaned up to his ear. Breathing the smoke close to his skin to make him feel as if he were on fire or burning.

"You still haven't said sorry, Rog." Her words made Roger want to curl up right then and there and burst into tears. Yet the only thing he could do was stare into the carpet like his soul had suddenly become detached from his body. His legs slowly turning him around before he left the room in silence, his hand clamping down on his mouth to stop a scream from escaping. He walked like he was on his very last reserves of energy yet his body gave off an image of anger. The tension in his muscles stopped him from looking like he was about to collapse to the ground.

When he reached the back of the building outside, Roger leaned heavily against the wall, allowing it to support his weight that was becoming too much for him to handle. His head lolling to the side like his neck had been broken when (Y/n) appeared not a minute later.

"Don't." Roger couldn't be sure if he was warning her or pleading with her to drop the subject but either way Roger wasn't ready for this. When would he ever be ready to face these facts that were desperate to ruin his life?

"That's her, isn't it? Your ex who hurt you." The drummer wouldn't meet her eyes, he simply let his head loll down again giving the impression he had just been hung as he stared at the ground. Roger had told himself he wouldn't lie to (Y/n) and if he said no to her question he would be lying. It was clear to (Y/n) that the woman inside was one that Roger did not get along with. She touched his scar like it was personal as if she was happy about it or even proud and if (Y/n) thought that she was the one who did it then it made sense. She had left her mark on Roger and she was proud of that. And the way he spoke to her, he had never spoken to anyone like that before that (Y/n) knew of. The words he said and how he spoke them gave the game away.

"I said don't."

"But she's here! She's preying on you in there and she's messing with you because she thinks she can get away with it. Why is she even here?" Whoever the mysterious woman was, she had turned up at the studio before (Y/n) and she had only learnt the woman's name. No one said who she was or why she was here so (Y/n) guessed she was just a friend of the band like she herself was and had turned up for the music. She knew them all well enough but (Y/n) hadn't spoken to her.

"The boys don't know, what the fuck do you want me to do?" Roger snapped for the second time that day at (Y/n) in less than twenty minutes.

He couldn't say anything because the band didn't know Roger's history with the woman inside who acted like a flirtatious friend with him. He couldn't tell anyone and the very fact (Y/n) now knew who she was to Roger set him on edge because his secrets were beginning to unravel and he didn't like it. He wished now that he hadn't told her because he would have kept himself and his history safer that way if he'd only have kept his mouth shut and his secrets to himself.

"She's not doing this to you and getting away with it." (Y/n) wouldn't let this stranger saunter in like she owned the place just to torment Roger like this. He had clearly suffered and she was not letting her boyfriend get hurt anymore. She didn't care who this woman was or what she had done to Roger, she wasn't letting it happen anymore.

(Y/n)'s eyes locked with Roger's when he grasped her wrist tight enough to leave bruises. His form towering over her own as he pulled her to his chest to stop her from going inside. She had promised she wouldn't tell the boys and making a scene would get them suspicious. This was not (Y/n)'s mess to deal with and sadly it wasn't her place to intervene. Roger wasn't having her fight his battles and he wasn't having her destroy the life and the lie he had kept up for ten years. This was his life and no one was going to disrupt anything.

"She already has. Don't you fucking dare go in there and say a word, I mean it. You promised me-"

"Don't talk to me like that, I promised I wouldn't tell the boys what you went through. I never promised to stand by and let your abuser torment you. Give me one good reason not to go and kick her out." (Y/n) understood Roger was hurt and he was afraid but he couldn't just let this woman walk into his life and cause chaos whenever she so chose. It wasn't fair and (Y/n) did no promise to watch Roger get hurt, she promised not to tell his life to anyone because that wasn't fair. She could go and have a word with this woman and make her leave without causing a scene in front of the boys.

"She's Brian's sister."

[mellz117]

Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2! 

Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.

[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]

It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.

Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that ->  ……

Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image

Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote

Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.

SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT

……………………………………………………………………………………………

I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.

IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is! 

So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao

In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation. 

blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV

He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.

This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.

TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc 

This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it 

I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.

The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.

A+ dialogue

Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken. 

“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.

So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.

I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh

Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.

After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.

“Tell us about the picture thief.”

“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”

You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.

Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like

The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.

 In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.

God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.

Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.

We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...

Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.

SKATEBOARD

“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”

Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?

Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!

So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....

But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!

FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW

HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days

Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.

Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!

The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.

These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.

Chicken wuss

WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.

This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING

DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!

Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.

Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL

SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while

IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?

I'm not funny.

Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]

Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.

[cwombw]

isn’t life great?

below cut.

void-Yesterday at 11:25 PM

wtf do you even have to say to me

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:26 PM

I just, if youre this upset with riley for doing then we need to talk about this so you understand

void-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

im ALLOWED to be hurt that he thinks i can NEVER be trusted AGAIN for no apparent reasonif you cant recognize that then WOW

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

He doesn't think thatHe blocked people he's know for years

void-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

then WHY the MCFUCK did he block me and why are you saying i should just shut up about it and get over iti cared about him damnit i say him as my own fucking childyoure not who i thought you were lmfao

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:28 PM

He's just really scared right now, youre allowed to be upset but try to underastand

void-Yesterday at 11:28 PM

im done tbh?i blocked him back.its what he wants anyway

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:29 PM

if you feel that's what you want. he's just scared and hiding from everything

void-Yesterday at 11:29 PM

and yet hes still in dandys friendchat.

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:30 PM

He left active chats right off the bat and then got scred people would hate him and stoped

void-Yesterday at 11:30 PM

whatever then.too bad star came home im this close to self harmingim  going to talk to her and hope shecan calm me down from a meltdown

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:31 PM

I just, he's literally dying rn, please try to understandAnd please stay safe

void-Yesterday at 11:31 PM

you also need to understand that others are having similar reactions due to his actions just now

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:33 PM

youre having a heart problem? you were so upset you had a heart attack last night? I'm sorry but I dont think this is comperable

void-Yesterday at 11:33 PM

i meant the goddamn breakdown thing

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:34 PM

I'm sorry i misunderstoodHe jsut doesnt want anyone to see him die

void-Yesterday at 11:39 PM

i f he wants to push everybody away and ruin every good friendship he had and also ruin the dnd kin thing, fine. im not going to open my arms to him anymore.i dont hate him.but the wanting nothing to do eith each other thing is mutual now.

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:40 PM

i hope you understand that i stand with him on this. he just doesnt want to hurt people if he actually dies

void-Yesterday at 11:41 PM

if he actually diesso if he doesnt, what. hes gonna be like "heyyy.. fingerguns sorry that i ruined all my friendships, amde people hate me, and made people panic" i dont play ehadgames like that and i refuse to do that with him.plus, idk. iunno. maybe it should be our choice if we want to stick with him even if hes on his death bed?by doing this its hurting more than watching hiom die

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:43 PM

He's in the hospital and they said things arent looking good. he's terrifiyed and I think you should remember hes only 16. he's just scared as any dying kid would be

void-Yesterday at 11:44 PM

.. so wait. let me get this straight . he decided to. block. every single one of his online friends, out of fear of hurting them. but he didnt try to distance himself from his irl ones, even though it should be thje same fear that drove him to block everybody online in the first place.iwhatnothis boils down to paranoia and distrustwhy exactly, does he  let his irl friends care for him but wont let his online ones do the same

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:45 PM

It;s easier to block people you don't know in personI just, I cant do this. hes a scared kin and that's all there is to it

void-Yesterday at 11:46 PM

okim dropping itfeel free to block mefigure you want nothing to do with me anymore eitherJune 8, 2018

ArchaicArcade-Today at 12:01 AM

no it's just I need a bit

ArchaicArcade-Today at 8:34 AM

I'm sorry to say this but I've know Riley way longer and well, I choose him over you. I feel terrible but I need to side with my best friend here

void-Today at 11:56 AM

there shouldnt even be a side but okay. i had a feeling y'all weren't telling the truth. because i forgot last night but now i remember that he certainly did not block everybody he was friends with online and the chat in gov kin is evident as such, since people there could still message him.

you all have fun lying now. but i want you both to remember that i would have gone above and beyond for the both of you because i trusted you, cared about you, and loved you.thanks for ripping away a part of my life.

--

s/o-Today at 7:48 AM

Fuck meRiley is the rat talking to lou

s/o-Today at 11:01 AM

Let me know if you are okay.

void-Today at 11:59 AM

.....wow.

s/o-Today at 11:59 AM

He shared our entire dm

s/o-Today at 12:00 PM

God me too

void-Today at 12:01 PM

you know i have a feeling all their friends were in on it and he didnt even have a heart attack last night

--

s/o- you know I never had a grudge against you, and I wasn't in a good place either when you were in my life. please leave me out of your mouth and i'll continue leaving you out of mine. Don't dis GAK either, it's a quiet kin family. -Lex's "live in" partner.

s/o- also I'm carful about the ages of the people I talk too, and that "flirting with a minor thing" not sure who that was at all? I'm sure it had something to do with the nonsense in KK. Anyway last message I will send unless you choose to respond. Yesterday at 4:53 AM

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches the minor was jeremie diioscuri and the offending behavior was via discord in a mutuals server that he had created Yesterday at 2:26 PM s/o- Now i know what you are talking about. I was mislead about his age. But I also never flirted with him. I sent him an NSFW meme once and his little friends started making wild accusations of me. And I do feel bad for offending him, but I didn't know he was a minor.

s/o- That is also how I personally got kicked from KK. I kicked Alex from KK the previous night because it was behaving destructively Today at 7:44 AM

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches thats not an accusation thats straight up telling the truth

s/o- Talking about trans stuff? I was literally complaing about tucking. I also really feel stabbed in the back right now. You think you know someone

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches you... knew who? look idk what you deem appropriate to talk to minors about but maybe it differs for us

s/o- i don't think a trans vent between two trans people is inappropriate if he was squicked by that he could've told me lol. not go sharing a private convo with you. (and i'm not blaming you for that)

agenderdad420/mystery peaches i will say that there is often an inherent power dynamic between older and younger members that maybe made him more uncomfortable

s/o- you know i can take the blame if I fucked up. I hope you know that I've changed a ton since KK. and since I your drama with Lex started. All I want is to be a good person and contribute something to my fellow kinnies.\

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches honestly i havent really kept up w either you or alex since that point, but i dont doubt you can take accountability for your actions.

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches i just hope that there is change that goes along w acknowledgement and perhaps there has been

s/o- I don't speak for lex. But i just want peace Today at 9:21 AM

agenderdad420 fair

--

s/o - Today at 7:49 AM Apparently riley is the one talking to the person who made my callout Do you have a problem with me arcade? 

ArchaicArcade - Today at 8:07 AM no 

s/o - Today at 8:16 AM I guess i squicked him with something i said 

ArchaicArcade - Today at 8:17 AM i guess 

s/o - Today at 8:19 AM My brain: hes sick because of you 

s/o - Today at 12:02 PM I know you have your reasons  for what you guys are doing. But I hope Riley knows how deep he cut me. I would've given you both the moon.

--

not only have these people caused me to have a severe anxiety attack, they caused my partner the same, as well as many others who weren’t even a part of this.

they have caused me to feel suicidal and paranoid, to want to self harm

as for agenderdad420/mysterypeaches, they have sent me anon hate before, accused me of being racist for my neopronouns (all while saying they’re not against neopronouns, lol), and blew up at me for dropping them after they told me they didn’t like that i was trying to set boundaries for my borderline behaviors with them, and that i was confiding in them everything that was going on with me at the time (which was heavily toxic and depressing towards me) they have used language against me that is ableist and abuse apologetic in nature and their claims otherwise are blatant lies.

i had previously published the majority of the anon hate before deleting it from my blog after a while due to discomfort of having drama on my blog.

they have taken to stalking me to find out more past drama about me, as well as taking false anecdotes from others who claim my s/o has been inappropriate with minors to the point of grooming them, which is 1000000000000000% untrue and taken greatly out of context and skewed into something that never happened.

talking about trans issues isn’t grooming, sending a nsfw meme to a person who my s/o believed to be an adult isn’t grooming.

these people are pure evil and have been planning this for a long time from what i’ve gathered.

they are dangerous and unpleasant and will apparently stop at nothing to obtain their goal, whatever it actually is. as evident as one of them faked a heart attack and may have faked an entire condition.

update 7/17/2018

after speaking to rileys sister who he abused for a good part of their life, as well as ruined it and made their mom send them to live with their aunt, i’ve since learned that this is serial abusive behavior and he has also physically beat his younger siblings, is a pathological liar, and everything i’ve thus learned about him 100% fits his m/o.

he can try all he wants to pretend that he got better and has improved but all i see if that he got better methods.

faking a heart attack in order to call my gf a pedophile for talking about trans issues is fucking despicable.

another thing i’ve discovered is that he did in fact assault the person who he says assaulted him 

and the fact he freaked out over a poorly written callout like that, no offense to the victim is kinda funny and really telling. if he was innocent then why bother mentioning anything? i dont think that many people saw it.

i’ve also learned that archaicarcade, aka julien/julian (and plenty of other past names) also has a past of fucking people over very quickly into friendships and relationships and changing their name and other information in order to hide their past.

in fact.. riley hangs out with a lot of weird people, including somebody who was brainwashed by their older brother to be transphobic, and julien, whos relationship with the minors he surrounds himself with is suspect at best.

he also keeps company with a jehovah’s witness, which i shouldn’t have to explain how problematic that is.

my current thoughts about this is that riley while not innocent at all may be being groomed by julien is who also grooming others with help from his other adult buddies they all hang with. i have no sympathy for riley though after what occurred, whatsoever.

just 10-20 minutes ago somebody on a sockpuppet from wilson, north carolina sent me hate after checking out this callout post for riley, this is the screenshot i took

i’ve since blocked and reported the sockpuppet, even if this doesnt belong to riley, its clearly from one of his brainwashed supporters. amazing that a month later they still want to start shit. but this? this is pathetic.

look riley and co. i, my gf, my bf, my other bf, and all my friends know the truth. you’re fucking liars and fakes and abusive and groom people. do the universe a favor and go to long term therapy or maybe just never go online ever again with any device, anytime, anywhere, ever. and in fact hole yoruself up in your homes and never speak to anybody ever again because you clearly can’t help yourselves from finding new targets to fuck with.

emotional terrorism at its finest.

[sugasgrowl]

Blood and Mercy

Member: Yoongi x Jin x Reader

Genre: gang au

Warnings: violence, gore, major character death, guns, alcohol, swearing

Word Count: 3613

Summary: There is a rat in Bangtan, but you’re going to fight for mercy.

Sequel: Red and Dead

HI WOW IM SO EMOTIONALLY DRAINED AFTER WRITING THIS. This one shot is based off of my great friend, @papa-seokjin‘s, fic called Tenacious. He and I talk about that universe way too often and this stemmed from a random conversation about who we thought would be the rat in the gang of Bangtan. Anyway, I’m fucked up. Enjoy.

“You’re a fucking liar!” you roared.

Your palms stung from the impact of slamming them against the table. The stone of a heart that resided in your chest felt as if it fell to your feet. Your entire body vibrated with the refusal to believe the utter bullshit that had just spewed from Min Yoongi’s mouth.

He was lying. He had to be lying. There was no way in hell that it could be true.

But the glowering scowl that twisted your leader’s face said that it was the truth. He was the last person you had ever imagined would betray the team. Who would betray you.

“I wish I was,” Yoongi grumbled, lithe frame leaned up against the mini bar in the corner of the room. At his side, knobby hands were white-knuckling a bottle of whiskey. Boss clearly wasn’t handling the news too well, either.

Though your face was pinched in anger, your legs began to tremble underneath you. There was a slight sting behind your eyes. Great, now your body was betraying you, too.

“What...what will we do with him?” you asked, doing your best to keep your voice steady.

You knew the answer before it left his lips.

“Rats get exterminated.”

You didn’t need to ask Yoongi to know what he had in mind, but having confirmation of the inevitable made you feel nauseated.

“No,” you croaked.

“Yes,” he hissed, taking a loping step forward so that he was almost nose to nose with you. “You think I’m not fucked up about this, too? He’s my friend. He was my friend long before you met him.”

If you had full control of your vocal cords, you would have told him that that didn’t matter in the slightest and he knew it. Yoongi may have known him longer, but you had loved him. You shared a bed with him. You knew him inside and out.

Traitor or not, you couldn’t let him kill Seokjin.

“Don’t you dare touch him, Yoongi,” you whispered.

The leader tilted his head back and laughed. Laughed long and hard enough to make your skin crawl and your eyes drop to the scuffed floor. As if he had just heard the best joke. Tears welling up in your eyes blurred Yoongi’s cackling face into a twisted smear of a monster.

“Jin has been leaking our plans to the fucking cops. He was helping plan our downfall. He wants us locked away,” Yoongi took another violent pull from the half empty bottle of whiskey. He cocked his head to the side, face twisting at the acidic burn of the alcohol.

“Do you not think,” he wiped his mouth on the back of his veiny hand, “that he deserves to be punished?”

“Well, yes, but -”

“He’s been working for them for over a year,” the older man spoke over you. “He was working for them while he was taking you on priceless vacations and fucking your brains out.”

If Yoongi hadn’t been practically holding you upright, you probably would have collapsed then and there.

“Face it, babe,” he chuckled, “Jin has ruined his credibility in our world. He’s as good as dead anyway with as many other gangs as we work with. They’ll be lining up at our doorstep to get their hands on him to see what he ratted them out for, too.”

Your lip curled into a snarl, and you sent him stumbling back with a hard shove to his chest. How dare he speak of Jin that way?

“I won’t let you lay a fucking hand on him,” you spat.

Yoongi smiled at you poisonously. Before you could blink, he had you pinned against the wall - forearm nearly crushing your windpipe. You let out an involuntary squeak as the back of your head slammed into the wall.

The pressure on your windpipe increased as you struggled against his hold.

“Get the fuck off me!” you rasped, fingers clawing at his flesh. Black irises locked with yours as your legs kicked at Yoongi’s shins. He grimaced in pain, and in the time it took you to realize what was happening, a radiating sting spread through the side of your face and across your tongue. You tasted the faint tang of blood.

“Since you’re so protective, why don’t you ensure he gets a quick death, huh?” he seethed. He had your chin trapped between his thumb and forefinger. You could taste the whiskey on his breath as it fanned across your cheeks.

“Yoongi,” you almost soundlessly wheezed, “‘m...gonna fuckin’ kill you -”

“Because if I get my hands on that traitor before you do, honey,” his tongue flickered out to wet the wolfish, gleeful hint of a smile ghosting on his lips, “he’s gonna wish he had an angel like you to end it for him.”

“Get the fuck off!”

And just like that, you could breathe again. You coughed and sputtered, knees going to rubber and sending you tumbling into the floor. Through the white stars throbbing behind your eyelids from lack of oxygen, you could just make out Yoongi stalking off in the direction of Jin’s bedroom.

You scrambled to right yourself. No, no, no, no.

In your time as a member of Bangtan, you had seen Yoongi do a lot of horrific things. You’d seen him torture men for days on end, dragging it out as long as possible until they were begging for death. You’d seen him bash a man’s head in with the butt of a gun until it was the equivalent of hamburger meat. You’d witnessed him do a lot of fucked up shit, but he’d always been loving to his men.

And now he was about to kill one of his best friends.

“Yoongi, please!” you called into the dark house, praying that you didn’t trip over anything as you sprinted through the blackness.

You heard the unmistakable crack of Yoongi’s boot kicking open the bedroom door. Your heart flopped against your ribs.

“Hoseok!” Yoongi bellowed. “Wake up and help me take out the trash!”

The younger man stumbled out of his room to see their leader dragging a shirtless and half asleep Seokjin into the hallway by his hair. His pained yelps of protest and confusion echoed throughout the old house.

“We’re doing this...right now?” Hoseok hesitantly asked, barely audible over the sound of Jin spouting off every swear word known to man.

In one swift movement, Yoongi had Jin’s arm pinned behind his back and a switchblade lightly pressed to the column of his throat.

“No time like the present, brother!” he nearly sang.

He forcibly yanked the traitor’s head back until it was almost resting between his shoulder blades. The blade glinted maliciously as it kissed his bronze skin.

“The fuck is this, Yoongi?” Jin hissed as Hoseok’s deft fingers bound his wrists behind his back with rope that he seemingly pulled out of thin air.

“How fuckin’ stupid do you think I am?” Yoongi asked. His voice was low but ice cold. Realization flickered across Jin’s face, fear quickly flooding in its place.

“Yoongi, I can explain -” he was cut off with a swift punch to the mouth.

He staggered in Yoongi’s hold, a moan of pain escaping his lips. In front of him, Hoseok shook out his hand - a tightness playing behind his eyes.

“Sorry, hyung,” he muttered.

Your insides were ice cold. Much, much too cold. You’d watched them commit - and helped take part in - many murders. Even tortures, if it was for the sake of the gang. You knew what was to come, you knew that they would hurt Jin. But seeing it with your own two eyes was different.

“Yoongi, please just fucking listen to me -”

“Would you just shut the fuck up?” he yelled. His black eyes were hot coals burning into you. “Hoseok, help me get him to The Interviewing Room.”

It was as if Jin was just realizing that you were there. His dark eyes widened. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by Hoseok’s fists once again. Two hits to the face, one hit to the diaphragm. The man folded like a card table with a rattling wheeze, broad shoulders curling in on themselves. In the dim lighting of the hallway you could just make out a smear of bloody drool on his chin.

As he leaned forward to catch his breath, Yoongi and Hoseok each grabbed him and dragged him towards the emptied out work room.

You followed them mindlessly, like you were caught in a dream. This wasn’t real. None of it was real. You were actually all out in the yard playing baseball together. Jungkook was showing off as per usual. Jimin was droning on and on about the effectiveness of a bat as a weapon. There was no way that this, Jin being dragged off to his murder, was reality.

The lights of The Interviewing Room flickered on and cast a sickly, yellowish, washed out glow to everything. There was a singular metal chair ominously sitting in the middle of the room - waiting for the next poor soul who would be tied down and fucked up. Silver instruments of torture were spread out neatly across the dresser top and gleaming monstrously in the corner of your eye.

Jin sat half slumped in the chair, still trying to catch his breath. Excluding his ragged breathing, he was quiet. Yoongi stood in front of him with crossed arms - switchblade firmly grasped in his sure fingers.

“You’ve been a part of Bangtan for so many years,” he crouched down to be at eye level. “Why rat on us now? After all this time?”

“I wish I could say it was because I wanted to save people from falling victim to your short fuse,” Jin locked eyes with him, “but that would be a lie.”

“Why?” Yoongi spat.

“The authorities almost had enough evidence on you to shut it all down. They offered me a deal. Said if I helped them out, I could get my sentence shortened.”

Yoongi nodded wordlessly and calmly slid the leather jacket off his shoulders before tossing it to Hoseok. Only a moment ticked by before he tipped the chair back with a harsh kick. It landed so explosively that it made you jump and your teeth grind together. Jin grunted as he fell backward, unable to stop the fall due to his bound hands and feet. Yoongi crouched over him, eyes scanning the bruised man’s face, before he let out a chuckle.

Your palms started to sweat.

The sudden sound of knuckles crunching into a perfectly straight nose made your stomach turn. Jin gasped and sputtered, sending a spray of blood to stain Yoongi’s white shirt. He coughed violently, choking on the blood dripping from his nose and down the back of his throat. His nose bent at an odd angle, the imperfection looking out of place on his handsome face.

“You were supposed to be one of my most loyal men,” Yoongi tsked. “I let you into my home, I fed you and clothed you. Hell, I made you! You were just an accountant before you joined Bangtan. I made you great, and this is how you repay me?”

He let out a dramatic sigh as he pulled his pistol from the waistband of his jeans. Jin blearily struggled to focus on what was being held before his eyes.

“That’s okay,” Yoongi gritted out as he brought the butt of the gun down onto Jin’s chiseled cheekbone. His eyelids drooped as he fought to stay conscious. The fresh gash from being pistol-whipped sent crimson dribbling down his cheek. “You wanna act like an enemy, we’ll treat you like an enemy,” the blue haired man patted him on the side of the face. “Here, sit him up again.”

Watching him get the shit beat out of him felt like you were the one strapped in that god forsaken chair. You could withstand a lot. But this was too much.

You weren’t sure at what point you tackled Yoongi and ended up splayed out on the tiled floor, breath stolen from your lungs, with him looming over you - a menacing sneer on his face. Although it probably happened right around the moment Jin started whimpering and crying out in pain. Had you taken a moment to plan your attack instead of acting out of rage, you might not look near as foolish as you did then.

“What are you doing?”

“Th-that’s enough, Yoongi,” you panted. “He gets the idea, alright? He fucked up.”

“Hoseok,” a bubble of bloody film burst between his swollen lips. The copious amounts of blood pouring from Jin’s nose made him sound like he had a cold. “Get her out of here. She shouldn’t see this.”

You could barely understand him.

“No!” you snapped when Hoseok took a cautious step in your direction. “Jin, shut the fuck up. Yoongi, please don’t do this,” you knew you sounded desperate, but you really didn’t care. “This is Jin that you’re hurting.”

“This is not the Kim Seokjin that I know. This is a rat.”

You clambered to your feet.

“You may be his leader, but you’re also his friend.”

There was a beat or two of silence before Yoongi’s lips pulled into a subtle smirk. A chilling sign of what was going through his mind. He took a leisurely step towards the array of tools sprawled out across the dresser.

“Not anymore,” he smiled as he wrapped his pale fingers around the handle of a hammer. “Hoseok, do you think we should start with his fingers? Or his -”

He was cut off with a wheeze as you wrapped your arms around his neck in a suffocating embrace from behind. The hammer fell to the tiled floor with a deafening clang, Yoongi’s fingers loosening and busying themselves with clawing at your skin. Strangled swears and insults vibrated against the skin of his throat.

Hoseok watched in horror from the other side of the room, his fingers twitching towards the holster under his arm.

“Touch the gun and I’ll kill both of you.”

Hoseok dropped his hands. You knew he had a strict code for himself. Thou shalt not hurt women or children.

“Yoongi,” you rasped in his ear, just loud enough for him to hear. “I’m not going to point my gun at you because I don’t want to kill you. I just need you to listen -”

He cut you off by stumbling backwards and slamming your body into the wall. The brief moment that your concentration was compromised, you caught en elbow to the solar plexus. Your vision tinged with white as all the air was stolen from your lungs. You fought the urge to let your guard down and blindly threw a punch in hopes of making contact. You felt the distinct sensation of your knuckles smashing into something that felt eerily like teeth.

Your vision came back with a few hard blinks of your eyes.

“Fuck!” Yoongi swore with a shaky laugh as he dabbed at the bloody cut on his lip. He grimaced at the sight of bright crimson smeared across his fingertips. He laughed heartily, bloody teeth baring themselves in horrific joy. “You’re a persistent bitch, aren’t you!”

You blinked and he was on you, all five foot nine inches of raw power tackling you to the ground with a maniacal growl. Pain radiated through your elbow and tailbone from the impact, and the cold tiles bit into your skin as he did his best to hold you down. His pale arm stretched across the tiles to reach for the fallen hammer, the handle just out of his reach.

With a burst of strength, you threw him off of you and managed to reverse your positions. His thin frame writhed underneath you in an attempt to escape. Yoongi was faster in combat, but you were heavier, and you used it to your advantage. You grabbed him by his shirtfront and used your knees to pin his arms down by his sides.

“What, you gonna kill me for planning to drain your traitor of an ex boyfriend’s blood like the pig he is?” Yoongi taunted, voice rough from exertion.

A fierce cry permeated the air as your fist made contact with his nose, the cartilage giving way with a ghastly crunch. His black eyes widened in shock at the feeling of hot blood pouring out of his nose and into his mouth. He licked his lips nervously at the sight of the blade of your freshly unsheathed knife. You traced the cold metal across his cheekbone, pridefully taking in the way he tried to follow the motion out of the corner of his eye. He tried to fight the shudder rippling through him at the feeling of you pressing the edge into the shell of his ear, a tiny bead of blood raising to the surface.

“If someone is killing him, it will be me.”

Yoongi opened his mouth in protest, but closed it quickly when you pressed your knife harder against his ear ever so slightly.

“I will kill him. I loved him. I will kill him, but you will not torture him. You will not hurt him anymore. It is still Jin. He doesn’t deserve torture, Yoongi, he’s a traitor but he deserves a more honorable death than that,” you could have sworn you heard Jin gasp, but you couldn’t be sure. “If you want to try to stop me, I’ll kill you. I’ll fight you again and I will fucking win again, because you’re not going to lay a fucking hand on him.”

His bruising eyes locked with yours, and his bleeding lips twisted into a scowl as he silently agreed.

When you forced your aching body to stand, Hoseok scurried from the other side of the room to help Yoongi up as well. You locked eyes with your leader and continued to glare at him, knife glinting with his blood under the fluorescent lights, until they closed the door behind them.

The room was silent for a moment, save for the hiss of you wiping your blade clean on your jeans.

“I didn’t want to do it,” Jin softly said from behind you. “You know I...I love you all.”

You glanced at him over your shoulder, stomach twisting for a multitude of reasons.

“I know.”

You forced yourself to face him, regret immediately filling you. Beaten, bruised, and bleeding all over his naked chest. He was almost unrecognizable. Almost. Even under all the swelling and drying blood, there was something so undeniably handsome and so very Jin about his appearance, and it made your throat tighten.

“How do I look?” he almost teasingly asked. Leave it to Jin to joke until his last breath.

“Never looked better.”

“Yeah, well,” he smiled sadly, matted and bloody black hair falling into his eyes, “that won’t last long. I’m guessing I’ll have to have most of my skull intact to have an open casket funeral.”

You grimaced, “Don’t say shit like that.”

His brows furrowed.

“Why not? I’m accepting death. You’re about to put a bullet in my brain because I’m a snake who betrayed Bangtan.”

You placed your hands on the armrests of his chair and stooped down to his level, a slight snarl etched into your face.

“No, I’m about to put a bullet in your brain because I couldn’t watch Yoongi gut you like a fish,” you gritted out, ignoring the burn behind your eyes.

After a moment of tense silence, you sighed.

“It hurt too much to see you in pain, okay?”

“But it didn’t when you left me?”

Your jaw clenched. You didn’t need the image of his dejected face as you ended things with him six months ago floating through your mind right now.

“You know I didn’t want to -”

“Then why did you?” he raised his voice.

You rubbed your hands over your face. Work had always been your priority, and loving Jin put him before all else. Bangtan was on the backburner, and your possible future with Jin was constantly in the forefront of your mind.

“I lost myself when I was with you. Work wasn’t at the top of my list anymore.”

“Was that really a bad thing?” he asked. “We could have run away. You’re a smart and strong woman, you could have worked wherever you wanted. Hell, I made enough money with my side job to keep us living great lives.”

“Jin, please don’t -”

“We could have had everything,” he mumbled under his breath.

Wordlessly, you caressed his bruised jaw with your thumb. His dark eyes lifted to meet yours as he leaned into your touch, and you gave him a watery smile. Before you could stop yourself, you pressed your lips to his in one final kiss.

His lips were swollen and clumsy, and his tongue tasted metallic and bloody. Even through the gore, he still tasted like Jin. Sweet with the faintest hint of nicotine.

You pulled away and cleared your throat before the tightness in your chest consumed you.

The gun felt too cold and too heavy in your sweaty palm as you pressed it to his forehead. Your whole body was trembling.

“Just do it, baby. It’s okay.”

Your heart lurched at his words, and your fingers shook as you pulled back the hammer.

“I forgive you,” he whispered, brown eyes meeting yours over the barrel of the gun. “For everything.”

“I love you so much, and I always will.”

You pulled the trigger, and he slumped over in his seat.

Everything was red.

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Don't know what to do with myself. via /r/selfimprovement

Don't know what to do with myself.

Hi. I'm 21 and still in community college, but I did get my provisional admission to this university I wanted to transfer to. I work as a runner at Din Tai Fung and I'm supposed to make bank, but I don't really know yet because I'm a new employee. Headtitle question at the bottom

I think I've lived an okay-ish life, kind of. story time, skip to the end if you dont wanna read it I come from a Korean family, can't say I remember much of my childhood except mostly being beaten and yelled at. There were good times too, but they usually ended prettily shittily. Moved around a bunch, went to a lot of schools. I've dealt with a lot of abusive stuff from both parents, but I'm not going to talk about my mom because things have gotten better and she's still here for me(?). For some extreme stuff- my dad broke my brothers toes in elementary school. In my senior year, he threatened me at knifepoint and forced it into my hands and told me to stab my brother or he would stab me. Beatings from him were pretty bad, and it's not just belts and sticks bad. I played co-ed baseball in 5th grade, so bam, there was that too. He liked to throw chairs and literally flip tables when he was angry (hes a private construction worker, so he's pretty strong). Broke a lot of his phones throwing them at us, the wall, the floor, whatever. Ive had a lot of problems with my social affairs in highschool- anxiety, being cold, being short tempered, aggressive, violent, sharp tongued. I started warming up in senior year because of this girl I dated, which was a pretty big deal because gays are not allowed in this household. And well, im bi but its the same thing to them. Can't say that went too well, because my brother found out and blackmailed me in the situation we were living in. But who cares, because siblings hate each other right? Anyways, broke up with her, broke her heart, treated her poorly and whatever two years later we made up and was able to be friends again. Back to dad- he was usually never around for things like elementary grad, middle school grad, and highschool- my mom made him come, but he sure didn't seem happy about it. In highschool, he only laid down on his phone playi ng his shitty phone games. Doesnt talk to me, doesnt talk to my brother, doesnt talk to my mom. His routine: wake up, go to work, come home, phone games, eat, phone games, sleep. If you try to talk to him, he ignores you. If you press it, he'll give you some boring answer like "go away already".

Anywho, that abusive fuck was caught cheating. Had an affair with a client's sister. Sold the house we lived in, mom moved to Newark, him to San Leandro. Mom didnt want to deal with me, so I got the boot and lived wjth acquaintances in Hayward. Couldnt afford it, so mom told me to move to San Leandro with him. I moved in with my best friend helping me and we saw the evidence. Bambam, hello lady clothing and shit. I went apeshit nuts and he tried to convince me, then threatened that I would be in big trouble if i said anything. (Parents were separated but not divorced). Alright, ill keep my big mouth shut.

I worked for his "girlfriend" at her cafe in Berkeley. Why? Well, it was easy money and i needed it to keep up with my shitty coping habits- partying and party favors, mostly e. You dont have to deal with stress if youre always out partying.

Anywho, fast forward, skip a lot of details. Mom gets a phone call one day from mutual acquaintance saying dad is sick and asks her to bring him some food. Alright. So she does because she still cares, and finds out the truth. Calls me and demands me to come right now and unlock the door- note that this is a 40 minute drive. By the time i get there, theres hella police and a window is broken and theres hella shit going on. Things settled down but being my immature ass i scream at my parents for both being immature, and they shouldve just cut things clean. I yell at my dad for being a fuckhead and cheating, you didnt raise a liar but you are one. I yell at my mom for being irresponsible and breaking things. Police grabs my shoulder but i swipe it off and bam. Im on the floor, face into concrete, chipped teeth and i cant even see where my dog is. Tbh i was more worried that he ran off because he was still a puppy and i was holding him during this whole ordeal. My glasses got knocked off my face when those two officers fucking bodyslammed me into the ground. I'm 5ft4, i weighed like 130 at this time but im just a legit smol asian girl.

What happened next? Well yknow, i got arrested and sent to jail for assaulting a police officer, nbd. Sat there for a few hours, listening to some psycho making weird noises. Finally get some call saying that my mom was waiting for me, and she bailed me out. She was crying a lot and told me that my dad didnt even bat an eye as they took me away, that he smiled and tried to fix his goddamn broken window. I believe it too, because I saw that shitty smirk on his face when i got to the scene. My mom has a bit of an uncontrollable temper so she looks psycho when the other person was the wack one. This was in January 2017.

Skip forward to the next police thing. June 2017. My mom demands that i pack all my shit and move back, and she wants to go with me. I plead no, but what am i gonna do against her? Alright, we drive and she starts saying stuff about lying and calls the bitch a slut and homewrecker and stuff, dad gets up to stand inbetween and stuff. Tells her to move than basically shoves her across the living room towards the door. **insert hysteria and bam again, screaming and each other, his hands on her, me trying to squeeze my body in between them and get his hands off of her. Doesnt really work cos he turns on me, hits me away and goes back to beat her. My screaming doesnt really help either, but i try what I can to claw his arms off of her. Nooooo, bad idea, but better me than her. He grabs me and my head is locked into his elbow so I bite down, arm. Baaaad idea again, but its in self defense imo. Im just trying to help my mom. He p much beats me up into a pulp her, grabs my shirt all the way up and yikes thats embarassing. The struggle goes on and eventually its calm again because slutface is like "honey staph"- note: only words and no actions to get close, buuuut, it works. Me and mom move to my room and start removing all my weebshit from the walls. Mom is muttering and saying a bunch of bs for him to hear and he storms into the room because hes fucking triggered and start the violence again. Oh but this is where i do the fun thing- i lunge myself at him so im like on top of him but holy shit, he legit pulls me off of him and throws me against the wall cabinets, and two hand chokes me, with his knees on my chest. Mom starts screaming at him, claws his face and soon the police are here and shit. Bitch called the police, and this is where it gets more fucked up. I legally live here, its on my license. I came back to move out, so its okay for me to be here, because i came to pack my stuff and take whats mine. So why exactly did the police not believe me? Why did my mom get arrested for putting dumb scratches on his face when he beat us, with pictures - that day- to prove that he inflicted more wounds on us. We were just defending ourselves. He put his hands on us first. Anyways, that starts my worries cos im like. Im 20, but idk what to do. How do i find money to bail my mom out? How do i even do that in the first place? But i managed.

Anywho skip forward, jackass is no longer in my life, tho i have to deal with him through my brother from time to time. Parents officially divorced Feb 2018. I've lived with my mom, she bought a cafeteria for a little bit so I worked there. Things were really hard because my mom had a lot of pent up anger that she would take out on me. My brother moved out because he went to university so he didnt really have to deal with much. Im also the older child, so bam. Anyways, we fought a lot. A LOT LOT. Like apeshit crazylot. I took a lot of beatings. It was like the weekend before Christmas of 2017 where a took a huge beating and ran away from my problems by going to my now-ex's house. He offered me to move in with him and his family, so I did. I had the choice of going back to my moms lifestyle and attempt to make up, or trying to live a different life. I lived with him from like Christmas to March 2018. We started having a lot of problems because he regret inviting me, he wasnt ready to give up his personal space and I was done babysitting someone who was older than me. Doing his laundry, doing his dishes, cleaning his room. I was done with being bored, never going out, being ignored while he did the same thing my dad did. Sit on his phone and not speak a word. Yeah, there were good times too, but they seem so fleeting when it seeps in with your own personal trauma of being ignored. Btw- when i moved to his place, my brother moved back home to fill the gap, but my brother is better with dealing with my mom and she doesnt blow up at him.

After I moved back, it was better. Yeah, shit went down sometimes but i guess overall it was better? My mom cried a lot. I would hear her talk on the phone with her family members in Korea and cry about how she was tired of everything and didn't want to do it anymore. I know exactly how that feels. Well, in the later months of 2018, we got along better and havent really had those blowups. I tried my best to stay home more instead of going out at night because she hated it. I tried to be nicer to her and more compromising. She's in Korea rn and things suck. During the whole parents thing, it sucks to feel like your parents are passing you to each other likea toy they dont want. It sucks to not really feel familial love growing up, where mom is just doing things because shes supposed to and dad just flat out pretends you dont exist. It sucks that it takes two years of partying, drugs and cons to find out

Submitted October 31, 2018 at 10:33AM by xfirelily via reddit https://ift.tt/2CRsVBn