#but obviously neither really knows bc counting is hard when you time travel and also when youre really old

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

please enjoy this interaction between the first doctor and the master from the five doctors

like what do you mean we were at the academy together. you disposed of a body together once, I think that is a little more significant

asdfhkjfh what a power move

[ambssssssssss]

Juliantina as teachers hcs

(bc it’s my first year teaching and i’m Going Through It so ofc i’m projecting)

Val teaches English, Juls teaches art

Val has been planning to be a teacher for a long time, majored in English and minored in education in college

Juls, on the other hand, very much stumbled into teaching

Juls has an art degree and does a little work as a freelance artist, started teaching as a sub and ended up falling in love with the job. 

It's Val's first year as a teacher, Juliana's second

They meet on the first day of teacher in-service, at the first staff meeting. 

Valentina shares half a doughnut with Juls while they wait for the meeting to start

After the meeting, Val heads to her classroom and realizes that she and Juliana are in the same hall but on opposite sides. 

"You're much nicer than the last teacher that was here," Juliana says on the second day of in-service, perched on one of the desks in Val's room. "Prettier too." 

Valentina is so glad she isn't looking directly at Juliana bc could her face be any warmer right now geez Val get a grip

By the end of the week, Val has decided that Juls is her best friend (she likes the other people she works with-but Juls is different) 

There's a huge faculty dinner that weekend where Val meets some of the other teachers. 

It's also when the not-serious-but-obviously-series rivalry between Juliana and Lucho begins. 

(Lucho coaches football/soccer-most of the kids think he's an ass) 

Anyway, by the time the school year actually begins, Val and Juls are the best of friends and both are oblivious to the heart eyes they have around one another

The other teachers, however, are not oblivious

Neither are the students

It starts on Monday of the second week of school

A student asks Val why Ms. Valdes is always in Val's room before the first bell. Val says that Juls brings her breakfast in the morning and they sometimes make plans for lunch 

A few of the more shippers/fandom kids raise their eyebrows but the students accept the answer

They start watching more closely 

(more under the cut bc this got out of hand)

It starts with just first and last period, the time of day when Val and Juls would most likely be able to visit one another in their rooms

It's like a schedule, the students figure out. 

Monday and Wednesday, they meet in Val's room after the last bell. Tuesday and Thursday, they meet in Juls' room

They don't meet on Friday's, at first, bc of pep rallies, which they always leave together 

By homecoming the rumor mill is flying

The other teachers hear and gossip amongst themselves, only occasionally missing a student eavesdropping on them

Almost everyone-meaning everyone but Lucho lol-are positive there is something going on between them, especially after homecoming

Bc Val and Juls had coordinated their outfits for everyday of Homecoming

Monday: pj day - they wore the same outfit but in different colors, red for Juls and blue for Val

Tuesday: decades day - they both go as hippies, one student is positive they switch glasses halfway through the day

Wednesday: meme day - a coincidence that they both wear t-shirts with horrible, yet matching, puns? I think not

Thursday: character day - thing 1 and thing 2, it literally could not be more obvious

Friday: spirit day - okay, doesn't count bc literally everyone is wearing school colors but the students are positive that Val doesn't own the white converse she wears (that have Juliana's signature on the heel) 

They sit together at the homecoming game, with the rest of the teachers sure but still noticeably there with each other

A band kid catches them taking a selfie together and did Ms. C just kiss Ms. V on the cheek?!?! 

Text to the almost school wide group snap chat that just says "please tell me someone caught that on camera" 

Several people did, from several angles, including a yearbook kid who happened to be photographing the stands at that exact moment 

(The extra, very zoomed in pic wasn't necessary but the sponsor won't complain-she ships it too) 

Everyone is shocked when a very brave student asks both Juls and Val, during class no less, if they are dating anyone and they both say no

All the students are like “excuse me? Ur gf is literally down the hall” 

Mission ‘Make Juliantina Canon’ begins

(there’s almost a hashtag for it, but the students thankfully decide that’s a little too much - they’ll settle for what is basically light stalking instead) 

Word is spread to the teachers, accidentally-on-purpose, and pretty soon the whole school is in on it

Val’s mentor teacher casually reminds her that there’s no rules against co-workers dating

On school trips (Val somehow ends up coaching basketball and Juliana is co-sponsor of the yearbook so they travel together a lot during the winter), it works out so they always are sitting either in the same seat or right next to each other

Lots of discussion on the development of Juliantina during these trips on the student’s part, lots of teachers trying to discreetly tell the kids to shut the fuck up, they’re literally a seat in front of you 

Val and Juls being oblivious to the rumor mill going wild around them and continuing to be friends

Just friends though, not more than that, even though they both very much want to be more than that

So. Much. Pinning. 

As they get closer, Valentina gets much more expressive with her affection

Physical touch is her love language, I will die on this hill 

If she and Juls are alone, they’re always holding hands or hugging or cuddled up together on the couch for their now weekly movie nights

They’re spotted more than once strolling down the street hand-in-hand

Even Lucho starts to see it and well, it’s kind of hard to miss now that Valentina has turned down his invitation to a date for the fifth time so she can watch Grey’s Anatomy with Juliana

By Thanksgiving, the whole school is going mad bc will they please just date already 

The rumor mill goes wild when they find out that Valentina had hosted a friend’s giving over Thanksgiving break (this au takes place in an imaginary Texas where homophobia isn’t a thing, deal with it) and Juliana was already there when the first guest arrived early in the morning to help Val cook. 

Juliana had come into the kitchen wearing pajamas that were just a little too loose on her and fixed herself a cup of coffee like she did it every morning, even kissing Valentina’s cheek as she stepped up to the stove to make herself breakfast

Please, they’re basically married

Juliana has spent a lot of time at Valentina’s place, it’s bigger and homey-er than her own, plus Valentina has a big TV and a very comfortable bed

Juliana basically lives there

Valentina doesn’t complain, even when it gets to the point that she has to bring Juliana’s blouse to work bc the one Juls wanted to wear, she had left at Valentina’s 

(thankfully, the students don’t catch wind of that trade, can you imagine) 

They spend Christmas together too

Valentina can’t really travel bc there’s still basketball practice and games over the winter break, Juliana simply can’t afford to travel to Mexico to visit her mother

So they spend Christmas together and one day while Juls is watching a basketball game and paying more attention to Valentina than to the actual game, she begins to wonder what exactly they are doing? 

Like, Juliana has other teacher friends, but she doesn’t hug them, or kiss them on the cheek, or bring them breakfast every morning, or get sad when she doesn’t see them at work, or want to cuddle up on the couch with them after a long day at work and - 

Oh shit I’m in love with her

One teacher owes another 20 bucks for betting that Juls would figure it out first (in my mind this is Kara Danvers and Barry Allen but that’s neither here nor there) 

Juliana acts a little funny the next few days, avoids going out on New Year’s by claiming she has a headache when she’s really trying to figure out what to do now

Valentina shows up at her door the Sunday before winter break ends and demands to know why Juliana is avoiding her

Whatever she’s done wrong, she’ll fix it but please just talk to me 

Juliana breaks and kisses her

Valentina kisses her back

“There’s nothing wrong, I’m in love with you.” 

“Thank god. I’m in love with you.” Valentina kisses Juliana again. “Also, are you aware that literally the whole school ships us?”

[ziracona]

I know you mentioned that Bill wasn't included in ILM because you didn't know much about his personality. Out of curiosity though, if you had included him in the fic, how would you have integrated his history of being in the middle of a zombie apocalypse that couldn't have happened for the other characters? Or like, what approach would you have gone with?

Oh this is kind of a tough one! I don’t know Bill well, because I haven’t played Left 4 Dead, but that actually wasn’t why he isn’t in the fic. I stopped including survivors after Jane Romero, because DbD updates so much that I hit a point it was either add more characters but know you won’t have time to develop them and give them the character arcs they deserve because you’re nearing the end, or stop adding people, and it’s always better to whole-ass less then half-ass more—especially with characters that are awesome and really deserve some due diligence. While Bill is actually one of the earliest survivors released for DbD (he was...siiixth or something? Like right after Ace? Or Nea?), that’s only for PC. On PS4 and Xbox, he wasn’t added until much later, and I play DbD on PS4. So, for me as a player, Bill wasn’t actually released until after Ash was. When I started writing, I was kind of vaguely aware he existed on PC? But I had 0 personal experience with him, and so I went with my own/console experience when it came to writing.

As for what I’d have done, that’s a dang good question, and I’m not entirely sure— I’d definitely have thought about it longer if I had included him, but I’ll give you what I think I would have done? Obviously, Bill’s not from the world the rest of the survivors are. While almost any of the stories can coexist with minimal changes (NOES 2010, Halloween, Stranger Things, even Ash are more or less fairly easily compatible), zombie apocalypse—couple things I know they’re bound to notice, ya know? Still, I stand by multiverse being both unnecessary and not the best decision for the story I want to tell, so what I think I’d have done is this: (under the cut bc it’s gonna be long af--get ready for some quantum theory lol)

Okay, so the Entity canonically can operate outside of natural time. Meaning it can take survivors from earlier or later, and isn’t on the same space-time fixed relationship the world is. Now, time travel is tricky. Or anything with a complex portrayal of time. But there are three basic setups for time travel potential that actually make sense. They are as follows:

Anything that will happen, has happened (or the Artemis Fowl timetheory). This one is pretty straightforward. Sure, you can travel through time, but the universe you live in right now where you are choosing to go back is the result of the past you caused. The change you’re causing is past-tense already, and the only real agency you have is in causing the circumstances leading up to where you already are. This still allows for some fancy manuvering (for example: want to save a friend’s life? No problem. You can’t remove the motivation to go back, so you in the past still have to believe they die, but so long as you didn’t like, hold their severed head—if it’s a situation like say, you saw them blow up, you can save that person—you just have to make sure your past self still sees them “die” in the explosion and thus chooses, as you did/are, to go back.) This is my personal least favorite theory of space-time, but it’s a solid one.

The second is the The Future is not Set (or the Back to the Future timetheory). This one says time is flexible. You can go back and kill your father before you’re born, and the future will change. How ripple effects happen are varried—for example in strict timeline variations of this theory such as those in Frequency or Back to the Future, if you cause yourself not to be born, time will catch up with you, and while the impact you left on the world remains, you, as you no longer are born, will vanish from existence as the time stream corrects itself. However, more lenient time streams such as the versions in Continuum or Futurama exist as well, where even if your effects on the world prevent you from being born, the version of you currently alive continues to exist as an anomaly. This is by far, in my opinion, the most enjoyable solid timetheory.

And last (unless you count Time Travel is Impossible as a solid theory which I guess technically you can??), theory three (or the Doctor Who timetheory). This theory portrays time as possible to change and allowing for alternatives to be taken, but not in all places and ways. It presents very hard limits on what can change, and offers a much more inflexible time continuum than theory 2, as well as much higher consequences for causing alterations. Rather than direct cause-effect consequences, like vanishing because you caused yourself not to be born, usually the result of tampering and causing a change of large size is that you will create time paradoxes, which the time stream itself desperately will try to destroy/fix, usually horribly and with massive and brutal force. Things like Life is Strange fall into this theory as well, with Dr. Who being on the lenient end of this spectrum and LIS the strict. It offers the technicality of a changeable future, but none of the true and almost wild freedom offered by variations of theory 2. Basically, any large scale or personal change you cause will rip holes in the universe, and either you will give in to fate and re-allow the loved one you saved to die, or you push on through and accept massive time-space damage and casualties for the choice. I’ve got mixed feelings on this one myself, as I’ve seen it handled super well and made a thing that can be fun, but it also is the theory that pisses me off the most when written poorly haha.

Anyway, massive time theory talk over, in Dead by Daylight, the Entity can traverse time canonically. In ILM, the survivors only talk briefly, after meeting Jane, about theories for how that works, but here is what I would say if ILM had included Bill. To preface, there are two timelines that each follow the same set of basic rules, but have a little freedom in how they effect each other (not so much in how they effect themselves): the Survivor’s world/reality timeline, and the Entity’s pocket dimension timeline. Neither timeline can contradict itself and create paradoxes within its own space. So. Bill is from the same universe as anyone else. At one point, the early 2000s followed the narrative of Left 4 Dead, and the Entity grabbed Bill where & when he “dies” in canon. Only, some time after grabbing Bill, the Entity took another person which (completely unintentionally on the Entity’s part) triggered a massive Buttery Effect on the world, and greatly altered reality, causing not only the Left 4 Dead apocalypse to no longer occur, but causing Bill himself to never be born. Bill however was already outside of the world and in the Entity’s pocket dimension at the time, and thus was not there to be “erased” and exists as an anomaly. While he is paradoxical in his own world, he does not at all contradict the Entity’s established timeline—he adheres to it. While the memory of survivors is effected and updated by changes made in reality by the Entity, because there is no version of “Bill” in the world anymore, he did not have his memories altered (there was no “Bill” for the timestream to update at all, as he is entirely an anomaly now, so it would have no reason to try). The world they exist in has a time continuum that operates off a variation somewhere between theory 3 and theory 2 (the future is not set, but also there are fix points—however, these almost exclusively exist in regard to one’s own past. The big rule is that personally making the act of altering your own past intentionally by nature also alters your motivations for acting in the first place, and thus negates the possibility of you doing so. While you can change other people’s pasts, or accidentally effect your own, you physically cannot change your own intentionally, because you’d create either a paradox or a time loop, and it would rip you apart).

Dwight is more or less correct when he hypothesizes that they might have all remembered a world with Jane Romero still in it until an hour ago. However, all of ILM itself is that version of time/reality (ie the “last” or “final” version, as it were/the version that came into being when Jane was taken). Her loss butterfly affect updated people, and so they remember her being missing. While the Entity could hypothetically someday accidentally do things that make it so survivors aren’t born in the external reality, it cannot do so intentionally or accidentally-on-purpose, because it is bound by the rules of its own personal history/timeline, and it can neither intentionally nor accidentally do a damn thing to prevent what has transpired inside itself from happening. Similarly, since the survivors are established as existing inside it, even if they were erased at birth, they would still exit it intact in November of 2019 with all their memories. The Entity thus has no real way to hurt them even in revenge, unless it is willing to risk taking them again from a later point in time. Most small decisions do not have buttery effects that are very large at all, and in general time attempts to smooth out with the least possible changes. What happened to Bill was a one in a billion fortunate/unfortunate chance thing, and was such an unlikely thing to happen in the first place, the chances of a thing like it happening again are astronomically small, and almost completely certainly would not to occur. In some ways it would be nice for him though, because he could escape back to a peaceful reality where many people he lost are still happy & living. While they don’t remember him, people would still have the echos of their past inside them (feelings of deja vu, memories in dreams, attachment and familiarity with people you never “met”) and he could reconnect with them if he wanted and live happily with old Left 4 Dead crew and his new survivor family. : )

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Even numbers. Fuck you 💙

:’) 🖕💙

Under the cut… oh my god… lord give me strength… if any of y’all wanna get to know me… read this monster X’D

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

I think a bit of both?? I’m the type of person who’d willingly get lost in a strange city but also suddenly develop a stutter when I try to communicate with my fellow humans. :)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

lmao no.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind ones. Who can tolerate me.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

An ex friend/abuser atm. :))))

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

What qualifies as deep?? I guess, my Dad?? Maybe??

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Dodie Clark - Monster

Easy Life - Pockets

Lorde - Buzzcut Season

Zack Hemsey - The Way

Fits and the Tantrums - Roll Up

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah, I think so?

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I kissed my Mum on the top of her head. So, yes. XD

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

That would be Jesse. So, yes. Hope he doesn’t find this blog yikes. X’D

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Yes on one side. No on the other side.

22. Where would you like to travel?

America firstly. Then all over the place to visit other friends. I promised my Mum I’d take her to San Francisco one day, so I gotta keep that promise.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

PETS :DDDDD

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Try my best not to murder anyone while I get my cup of tea liquid life ready. XD Say hi to doggos and beep babies. Check to see if any of my friends need me urgently. Then eat toast.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My pets. My parents. My friends.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I really don’t mind getting married or living in sin. XD It would depend entirely on what my partner wanted, I’d do whatever would make them happy.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

No one. Guess you could say I’m demisexual.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Does horseback riding count?? I’ve dabbled in a bit of cricket. But my lungs don’t like intensive exercising, especially cardio stuff.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Story of my life, every single time. I’ve never told anyone I liked them. I’d rather die than make them feel bad or uncomfortable bc I know they don’t feel the same way.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

At the moment all I can think of is my crush lmao. :’)

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Absolutely nothing bc I’m a dropout. XD Be a completely self-taught author, hopefully.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Online, I’m probably just really tired and don’t have the energy to be upbeat and/or talk to people. In real life, it’s nothing abnormal; I hate my voice so I don’t talk much and I like quiet. If I’m not using a bunch of emojis (you know how I normally do) when I’m talking, you know I’m either being super serious, or I’m pissed off, or both.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

NEITHER YIKES I LIKE MY SOLID EARTH THANK U VERY MUCH

46. What are you paranoid about?

Being annoying.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nope. Not really planning on it, either. I’m kind of curious as to how I’d be, though. Like I have deep-rooted buried anger issues so I might be angry, but I’m also depressed so I might be a puddle of tears and sadness, BUT my personality is v energetic and happy so… who knows, dude. X’D

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Blue and grey. It has “yo” on the hood. :D

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Biologically male. please.

54. Favourite store?

?? don’t have one. 

56. Favourite colour?

Navy or a kind of dark aqua-navy kind of colour, like a bit of a green tinge as well? I’m also really fond of yellow too.

58. Last thing you ate?

LEFTOVER HAMBURGER AND IT WAS DELICIOUS I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED HAMBURGERS!!!!!!1!!

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Yeah, dog training competition with our German Shepherd when I was 11.

62. Been arrested? For what?

No yet lmao.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I’ll be sure to tell you about it when it happens. XD

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t have any irl friends so… HELL YEAH!!

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr. Obviously.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

I could literally just list all my Tumblr friends here. I’ve learnt not to get specifically close to any one or two persons. So… all my beans!!! Love you!!

72. What colour are your towels?

Blue! :D I was forced to use the pink towels in the set when I was little and not out as trans so now I surround myself in all the gendered blue bullshit X’D

74. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

….. maaayyyybbbeee.

76. Favourite animal?

D O G

78:Chocolate or Vanilla?

Neither.

80. What colour shirt are you wearing?

It’s my very yellow button down!! :D

82. Favourite tv show?

S E N S E 8

84. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Never seen either oops.

86. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

88. First person you talked to today?

Enna aka Cinnamonpuff aka steverogershield

90. Name a person you hate?

My brother, Mackenzie. :)

92. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Anyone who mistreats animals.

94.How many sweatpants do you have?

I rarely wear anything but sweatpants, so I have 8. THEY’RE COMFY OKAY. And since it’s usually cold or hot here with no real warm in between, I’m either wearing shorts or sweatpants. It’s only in the rare in-between weather (like now) that I wear my jeans.

96. Last movie you watched?

Can’t remember. I watched the first season of Jessica Jones tho, so… show instead of movie. XD

98.Favourite actor?

TERRY CREWS

100. Have any pets?

YES!!! 3 dogs (one German Shepherd named Ria, a Whippet named Granger, and a mutt named Maude), 3 chickens (Haymitch the black one, Cinna the dark brown one, Effie the pale brown one) and 2 ducks (Peeta and Katniss.) THEY’RE MY BABIES AND I’D DIE FOR THEM!!! :’D

102. Do you type fast?

LMAO APPARENTLY I DO??? My Dad thinks I must type gibberish and makes me type out what he says because he doesn’t think I can type that fast. I only type with 2 fingers normally too. X’D

104. Can you spell well?

w e l l (idk. maybe.)

106. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yup.

108. Have you ever been on a horse? 

Many times. I LOVE them SO MUCH.

110. Is something irritating you right now?

Yeah.

112. Do you have trust issues?

No. *insert canned audience laughter here* Yes, I do. Big time. Just bc I’m friendly doesn’t mean I trust anyone.

114. What was your childhood nickname?

Matt, actually!! :D

116. Do you play the Wii?

Used to, now I don’t have one anymore and it wasn’t my favourite console.

118.Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Y E S. GIMME!!!!!! :D

120.Favourite book?

Bird by Crystal Chan.

122.Are you mean?

I think I definitely can be very cutting when I lose my temper. But I haven’t done that in years now and I try very hard to be a good person. Luckily my first reaction is normally hurt, so by the time the anger kicks in I normally try and get out of the situation before I can say something harsh.

124.Can you keep white shoes clean?

NOPE. I can never keep anything clean, probably why I like dark colours so much. I literally do not own any white clothes anymore because they always get stained within a few hours of me wearing them asdfghjkl. 😅

126.Do you believe in true love?

Kind of. I believe that no relationship is ever perfect, but if people gel well and COMMUNICATE OFTEN AND HONESTLY the relationship can be amazing. I guess it’s its own kind of perfect relationship. I definitely think there’s people you get along brilliantly with, better than anyone else. There’s somebody in the world for everyone! :D

128.What makes you happy?

Animals. My friends. My OCs. :’)

130.What your zodiac sign?

Pisces!! I definitely think I’ve grown into it over time. X’D

132. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

??? depends on whether I like them back or not, obviously. If I do, I’ll probably scream for a solid week and then decide if I want to drag them into my mountain of bullshit with a relationship, or leave it be. If I don’t, let them down as gently as I can. Also I’m a raging bi, so gender wouldn’t matter. :P

134.Favourite lyrics right now?

My all-time favourite lyrics are from The Judge by Twenty one Pilots:

“When the leader of the bad guys sangSomething soft and soaked in painI heard the echo from his secret hideawayHe must’ve forgot to close his doorAs he cranked out those dismal chordsAnd his four walls declared him insane”

136.Dumbest lie you ever told?

“Did you let Haymitch jump on your back again?”

“Uh… noooo.”

“Then why do you have massive scratches in the clear shape of chicken feet on your back?”

“UHHHHHH-”

i”M A HUFFLEPUFF OKAY I’M NOT GOOD AT LYING X’D

128.How tall are you?

I’m not.

140.Brunette or Blonde?

Like, people I’m attracted to, or for me? I honestly don’t care attraction wise. For me, I guess brunette bc I think I look really weird with pale hair lmao.

142.Night or Day?

NIGHT. Dear god, night.

144.Are you a vegetarian?

NOPE. Honestly think I’d go insane if I didn’t eat meat. XD I mean, I would if I had to, but I’d really prefer not to.

146.Tea or Coffee?

TEA. I hate coffee, I’ll leave that to other people. XD

148.Mars or Snickers?

SNICKERS. Mars are good but… Snickers!!!!

150. Do you believe in ghosts?

Hell fucking yes you bet I do pal!!!!!!

[winky-the-alcoholic-elf]

85 Questions

I was tagged by @defiled-diadem  :) 

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

tagged: @doitforgranger @floral-print-punk @libertysir @looneybeth @susanbone @sansaslays @malchiex @jujuoh @miltank-tittymilk @boobpunch   (optional obviously and if y’all want me to never tag you in anything again let me know) 

THE LAST

1. drink: cold apple cider  2. phone call: my dad  3. text message: my co-facilitator for a grief support group 4. song you listened to:  the chain, fleetwood mac 5. time you cried:  y’know that post that talks about crying once every six months for like 5 min? that’s me. I think i had my two seconds of tears like two or three weeks ago, so i’m good for awhile 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: i mean i guess? more like i regretted it much much later  8. been cheated on: yeah 9. lost someone special: Yeah a few people. hence become a grief group facilitator 

10. been depressed: i have chronic depression. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: once. i had like a shit ton of vodka but it was mixed with stuff and it came up pink and i was blacked out but for some reason i remember that so like i just have this super vivid memory of barfing with zero context 

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12.  purple, any shade but more blueish hues, not pinkish ones 13. maroon 14. turquoise. and orange. i can’t pick three when i have four faves.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: i don’t think so?  16. fallen out of love: that’s complicated  17. laughed until you cried: i have no idea if in the past year, but i’ve def done that in my life a lot 18. found out someone was talking about you: if you count my roommate talks to herself and one time i heard her say “she’s still in bed” and there’s a 99% chance that she was talking to herself about ME, then yeah  19. met someone who changed you: in the last year? i don’t think so.  20. found out who your friends are: i feel like that question is very middle-schooler-who-thinks-they’re-grown  21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yeah? lots of people? p sure there’s only one person i’ve kissed that i’m NOT fb friends with and that’s because i de-friended that person. still friends with their mom though. just bc i feel weird defriending her. susan didn’t do anything wrong?

GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life:  99.9% 23. do you have any pets: sadly, no 24. do you want to change your name: nah. it’s not my favorite name in the world but like i’m not my favorite person in the world so it all works out in the end  25. what did you do for your last birthday: tbh i don’t even remember. i probably got drunk w/ friends? i turned 22 it’s not a big deal birthday  26. what time did you wake up: like 10:30  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: homework  28. name something you can’t wait for: the sweet release of death 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like three weeks ago 31. what are you listening to right now: spotify, my playlist is called from tosca to tupac. it’s p great, i have pretty much every genre except modern country and christian rock covered 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: a few 33. something that is getting on your nerves: at this exact second? i’m bloated and i can’t fart bc my roommate is home. 

34. most visited website: tumblr probably. sadly.  35. hair colour: dark brown. kinda has some red in it, in the sun. 36. long or short hair: very long.  37. do you have a crush on someone: this girl who works at panera. i just know her by sight but like she’s hot and her name is andy and every time i have to give her my order i get all quiet and squeaky and she probably thinks i’m a freak 38. what do you like about yourself: you’re not my therapist why are you making me do this? but okay i’ll say my compassion for others. 39. want any piercings: i can barely remember to wear earrings often enough to prevent my holes from closing so no i’m good 40. blood type: no idea 

41. nickname: cizzo 42. relationship status: single and basically allergic to mingling  43. zodiac: libra 44. pronouns: she/her/hers 45. favourite tv show: Brooklyn nine nine, buffy the vampire slayer, Go On, and sense8 46. tattoos: None, sadly 47. right or left handed: left 48. surgery: nope 49. piercing: just the standard ear lobes, if they haven’t closed up which they probably have 50. sport: i’m a pro at tripping over my own feet  51. vacation: what about vacation??? i’ve been to 46 states bc my dad’s a nerd. and 4 canadian provinces. i honestly would be fine never travelling ever again tho. i know that’s super odd, i’m just a homebody. staycation for the win. 52. pair of trainers: i have one pair of cheap gym shoes from target that i wore for my job at target and also for camp but otherwise i’m not a gym shoe kinda person

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: nothing currently. i had mashed potatoes for dinner. 54. drinking: apple cider 55. i’m about to: watch buffy the vampire slayer. i’m re-watching it and currently in season 3 56. waiting for:  me to get my shit together 57. want: to live alone 58. get married: probably not. that would kinda kill my whole living alone thing 59. career: trying to graduate college so i can get a masters so i can get a licence so i can be a social worker

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs 61. lips or eyes: neither  62. shorter or taller: so vague  63. older or younger: for dating? the same age 64. nice arms or nice stomach: who/cares/ 65. hook up or relationship: neither  66. troublemaker or hesitant: irrelevant 

HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: i don’t think so 68. drank hard liquor: oh honey. yes.  69. lost glasses/contact lenses: only for like 5 min at a time 70. turned someone down: yes 71. sex on the first date: no...? i guess  72. broken someone’s heart: i dunno  73. had your heart broken: it’s complicated  74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: not immediately but i have cried about dead people, yes.  76. fallen for a friend: i guess? not like while in the friend stage 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: that’s a loaded question i’m trying to answer in therapy 78. miracles: no? i guess not? i dunno  79. love at first sight: no i really don’t  80. santa claus: i am a fully grown adult  81. kiss on the first date: sure? this isn’t something you can “believe” in but like if you’re asking if i’m chill with the idea of someone doing that then yeah, get it friends 82. angels: no, but when i was little i sure as fuck did. i used to have /conversations/ with my dead sister thinking god must’ve been omnipotent only by having angels watching over different parts of the earth so i thought on mondays my sister was watching my part of the earth and i’d talk to her on monday nights. i’ve learned that’s apparently somewhat normal for grieving kids but like it sounds fucked up and i’m pretty fucked up as a person so i didn’t realize that could be normal 

OTHER 83. current best friend’s name: i have a few 84. eye colour: brown 85. favorite movie: i dunno dude

[budapestalloveragain]

~ this or that ~ 

RULES: ANSWER all questions, ADD one question of your own and then TAG as many people as you like!

dia @heartsalmighty tagged me tysm !! i love and hate these tags haha bc i think they’re fun but also i’m literally the most indecisive person omg xD

*it’s long so i’m gonna put it on under read more*

live session or studio session? i mean i always wanna see people live but like to listen to i prefer studio usually coke or pepsi? i don’t like either lol disney or dreamworks? disney !! coffee or tea? neither >.< books or movies? ....honestly movies at this point bc i have such a short attention span but i really love books too ahhhh i like them both a lot  windows or mac? mac (i don’t know how to use anything else oops) dc or marvel? lol take a wild guess (i’ll give you a hint it’s not dc) xbox or playstation? ummmm i don’t really know i don’t think i’ve ever played either haha i just did wii xD night owl or early riser? night owl lol i’m always awake at weird hours  cards or chess? depends on what card game ? chess is p cool i actually know how to play so that’s helpful  chocolate or vanilla? depends on my mood tbh but probably chocolate vans or converse? converseeeee especially the red ones  star wars or star trek? i’ve only seen one star trek actually so i think i’m a little biased but like ...star wars all the way one episode per week or marathoning? okay see i’m impatient so marathoning but also i have the shortest attention span (see: books or movies?) so in that way one episode per week is kinda good for me haha i get distracted so easily xD i’ve done both like obviously i watch on netflix n stuff but then i watch htgawm when it airs so like ...both are fine  heroes or villains? both are cool ? leaning a little more towards heroes though john williams or hans zimmer? i hate this question literally how dare you but also i love hans zimmer with a passion sooooo disneyland/disney world or six flags? i’ve been to neither of them haha but i think i’d have more fun at disney just bc even though i don’t like a lot of rides it has a lot of other stuff to look at xD forest or sea? i like both ummm probably the forest though, i’m more used to it & sometimes the ocean makes me feel unsteady flying or reading minds? flying !! (teleporting would be the best though okay like just so we’re clear here) twin peaks or northern exposure? yeah same @dia i’ve not seen either of these :P  harry potter or lord of the rings? harry potter for sure (i’ve seen lotr too though, they’re such cinematic masterpieces) cake or pie? (ice cream) cake you are banished to a desert island, which benedict cumberbatch character would you choose to take with you? wait this is such a good question lol ummm probably doctor strange bc he could get me out of there train or cruise ship? train, boats make me nervous brian cox or neil degrasse-tyson? idk who brian cox is (i googled him and i still don’t know) + neil degrasse-tyson is great lol (although like ...bill nye...) wizard of oz or alice in wonderland? alice in wonderland omg yes yes yes i love that story so much i just fanfiction or fanart? fic haha the hunger hames - books or movies? the books but also catching fire was really well done also that cast is lovely just as an aside see the future of travel to the past? oooh i’d love to see a lot of things in the past like “if only i was alive then” moments you know ? but it’d be kinda cool to see how the future turns out too haha although at this point i’m kinda scared so i’d probably stick with the past han solo or luke skywalker? han solooooo (luke is cool too i just like ...don’t remember that much about him even though he was literally the main character lol sorry like i said short attention span) lilacs or sunflowers? both are nice ?? lilacs i guess.... spring or autumn? autumn.... i think ... campfire or fireplace? fireplace, campfire includes way too many bugs lol french fries or onion rings? french fries (the skinny kind)  truth or dare? truth haha there’s nothing interesting going on in my life anyways winter or summer? summer bc winter here is just like ...no vampires or werewolves? werewolves always seemed cooler to me, vampires are a little unsettling red or blue? red !!! it’s lucky hehe eyes or lips? *eyes nose lips plays in the background* ummm eyes burgers or sandwiches? oh god i love both ...sandwiches have such variety !! but burgers are so good ...probably burgers....  i just love food though xD friends to lovers or enemies to lovers trope? friends to lovers ^-^ pizza or pasta? pizzaaaaa ancient rome or ancient greece? ancient greece all the way omg i would love to honestly foxes or wolves? wolves.... ? no big preference i guess mermaids or dragons? dRAGONS BABYYYYYYY (i’m a dragon hehe) sci-fi or fantasy? fantasy i guess ? depends on how you define them i guess watch a film at home or in a theater? i like watching them in the theater haha it’s more fun that way (for me) fireproof or no more sad songs? oh yikes i haven’t heard no more sad songs so fireproof it is bands or individual singers? i like them both but if you haven’t noticed i kinda tend to be drawn a little more towards groups haha sweet or salty? saltyyyy except for ice cream monotype corsiva or comic sans? i don’t even know what monotype corsiva is lol comic sans is the worst™ but at the same time the best™ (if u know what i mean) so that’s fine turtles or frogs? turtles !! blur or oasis? yIKES i haven’t listened to either ...but i think oasis did wonderwall ? so i’ll say them baseball or football? ahhh neither :P international football if that counts lol i love soccer/futbol/football bowling date or movie date? movie date (i just watched bts run ep 19 though and i can’t stop laughing thinking about all of them bowling oh my god) fruits or vegetables? i love fruit hehe rain or sun? both are fine ? we got a lot of both today actually haha like in quick succession too xD gotta love new england lol tattoos or piercings? tattoos... i think... phone call or text? texting (phone calls are way faster though) animated films or live action remakes? animated ...i’m so skeptical about most remakes/sequels/reboots/etc chandler or joey? ...i’ve never seen friends i’M SO SORRY AHHH  have all the boys reunite for a 1d tour but never go on solo tours or have all of them do solo tours but never reunite as a band for a tour? god ummmm probably the 1d tour bc like look irl they’re all already about to go on solo tours haha + mitam is musically the best album they’ve done and i really want(ed) to see them do that live tv show or movie? ummmm gah that’s hard ...honestly tv just has a lot more time to work with which means that a lot of the time (not always though omg dEFINITELY not always) the quality is better

MY QUESTION IS: ramen or korean bbq?

i’m gonna tag ejay @thriftmom and jori @yellowhalcyon if u want to ^-^ no worries if u don’t and feel free to do it even if i haven’t tagged you !!