#but she very obviously does not and in fact is notoriously bad at communicating

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

on this first day of disability pride month I had 1) a very embarrassing (but thankfully, private) meltdown, 2) an even more embarrassing conversation where I tried to address the cause of said meltdown to my mother but just ended up getting stonewalled, and finally 3) was told yet again that I'm “looking for drama” because “it's not a big deal” (because to her it isn't) and “if you behave like a child I'm going to treat you like a child”. cool.

[elliepassmore]

The God and the Gumiho review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: fantasy, mythology, Korean mythology, multiple POVs, enemies to lovers, mystery

Big thanks to Netgalley, Del Rey, and the author for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This was definitely one of my favorite reads of February! It's got the perfect blend of magic, shenanigans, scheming, enemies-to-lovers, and humor. I was definitely on the edge of my seat as Hani and Seokga searched for the eoduksini, and while they got closer to one another with Hani still hiding her identity.

I definitely thought the worldbuilding was interesting. Most of the time is spent on a world where humans and immortals exist side-by-side, with the former completely unaware. So the characters have normal, everyday things like coffee, cars, and cellphones, but also have more magical items like swords and charms, and come across humans and magical creatures alike. I also liked the details about items the magical community could by from the store, particularly the non-human-liver alternatives the gumiho eat since Hani's Scarlet Fox spree resulted in the banning of eating human livers and souls. It's a small part of the book, but I thought it was a nice touch.

I absolutely love Hani. Her hidden past as the Scarlet Fox means she's notorious in immortal circles and not only is responsible for the ban on gumiho eating human livers and souls, but is also the gumiho with the highest kill count. Despite this, she's actually pretty normal and down to earth. She's also pretty funny, both intentionally and unintentionally, and I liked her blasé attitude about eating livers (and thus killing people). Hani clearly cares deeply and while she's dedicated to misguiding Seokga in regards to his Scarlet Fox investigation, she earnestly wants to help find and defeat the eoduksini. She also strives to help her friend Somi throughout the book and feels responsible over the younger gumiho.

Seokga, on the other hand, is a complete and utter asshole. But he grows on you. The trickster god is still bitter about being thrown out of the godly world and having his own realm of darkness locked up after his attempted coup. It's unclear how much of his personality is residual from that and how much is just him naturally, but Seokga really does not seem to care about anyone, nor very many things (other than coffee, man is particular about his coffee) prior to the events of the book. That being said, it becomes clear that Seokga does have deeper ties to his exiled life than it seems, and even he comes to the realization that there are some people that he cares about. It's easy to forget that Seokga was a trickster god because he's fairly serious and dedicated to his investigation(s), but it shows up in odd moments, such as when he cheats at rock, paper, scissors. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, Seokga does have a certain charm about him, even before he begins being a more...tolerable person.

The romance is, obviously, between Hani and Seokga. They balance each other out pretty well once they get past their barista-customer annoyance. Seokga is able to play 'bad cop' with ease while Hani is a much more soothing figure and the type who can calm crying witnesses enough to give a cohesive statement. I liked seeing the quirks they brought out in each other and am glad they get their chance at a happy ending.

The whole Scarlet Fox thing really is a mess. Hani was just enacting a kind of vigilante justice when she got the bright idea to take their livers as a treat for a friend. Unfortunately, the killings align too much with her 1888 spree and whaddya know suddenly there's a hunt on for the Scarlet Fox. Hani definitely does not want to get caught, and she definitely doesn't want another gumiho taking the fall in her place, she'd rather the whole thing just fizzle out and get written off as a fluke, and she's willing to attach herself to the investigation, and thus her least favorite customer Seokga, in order to achieve that. While there were some tense moments when I was worried about her getting caught, it was humorous to read about Hani doing her best to thwart Seogka's investigation and coming up with absurdities to get it done.

The eoduksini is the more serious of the two, particularly since the eoduksini has the potential to create a dark world in the realm shared by humans and immortals, something no one wants happening. There are a lot of twists and turns in this part of the investigation and I was definitely trying to work it out myself as the characters were. At times I felt confident I knew who it was, and then something new would happen and I would second-guess myself or Seokga and Hani. I was very invested in finding out who the eoduksini was and seeing how things would play out there.

Overall I greatly enjoyed this book and definitely recommend it to fantasy lovers. Seokga and Hani are pretty different but each bring humor to the novel and the two of them fit well together. I thought the worldbuilding was pretty interesting and I enjoyed getting to know the world and the magic within it.

[chrisevansjellybeans]

Undercover | Mob!Steve Rogers

I saw this post  by @rosierose-e​ and got inspired to write this mob! Steve Rogers smut. All mistakes are my own. 

ALSO THANK YOU FOR 400 FOLLOWERS! Love you all and appreciate the support immensely! Thank you :) 

Warning: Smut!!! NSFW choking, cockwarming, swearing

Part Two

Word Count: 5k

You squinted as you looked at yourself in the mirror. The weight of the false lashes a foreign feeling on your eyes. You felt like a clown. This was not you at all. You wore the basics: some foundation, concealer, blush, mascara and if you were really feeling fancy a lip gloss. But nothing heavy. One, your skin was unforgiving and if you went heavier than the BB cream you used you would have pimples for days. Two, in your line of work heavy makeup just wasn’t ideal. 

“Wow, you look amazing.” You looked up in the mirror to see the rookie Peter Parker getting into the van behind you. Peter was sweet, a little naive, but a good agent nonetheless. He had joined the force about three months ago and Director Fury had insisted he learn from the best, so now he was your partner for the remainder of the year. 

“Thanks, Pete.” You sighed as you straightened up, pulling the hem of the skin tight black dress down only to have it bunch up again. “I feel ridiculous.” 

“Well you don’t look it.” He handed you a cup of coffee and you took it with a grateful smile. You needed all the caffeine you could get tonight. 

Tonight you were going undercover at the notorious Red White and Blue Gala hosted by none other than notorious mob boss Steve Rogers. It was his lame attempt and pretending to be an upstanding citizen but hosting an event in honor of the men and women in service. A good cause but for a bad reason. It was rumored that more than just helpful charity happened at this event. 

 You and the rest of your team had been tailing Rogers for close to two years. Trying to get anything to tie the bastard down to all the crimes you knew his organization was behind. But he was good at his job. Leaving no trace evidence that could link any of the nefarious acts back to him. 

He was a cocky son of a bitch and you wanted to be the one to nail him. 

Peter glanced down at the watch on his wrist before clapping his hands together. “Almost showtime, partner.” 

You felt your hands get clammy as the nerves started to wrack your body. You had done undercover work before in the last seven years you’ve been a part of the force but there was something different about this one. Something more dangerous. Steve Rogers was a dangerous man. 

You turned back to the mirror and fixed your hair and makeup one last time before letting out a long breath. You again tried to pull down the hem of the dress but with no avail. You wanted badly to be mad at the catering company that you had been able to infiltrate but you knew that this was probably the work of Rogers. Sick bastard. 

You slipped on the four inch heels they gave you and you nearly stumbled into Peter as you tried to take a step. Heels. Another thing not usually worn in your line of business. 

“Okay, this is a listening device.” Peter explained as he pinned a small but beautiful butterfly pin on your right breast. You couldn’t help but chuckle as his hands fumbled as he accidentally grazed over where your nipple would be. “Sorry.” 

“It’s a boob, Parker. It’s fine.” Peter just nodded before finishing pinning it. 

“Anyway,” he continued. “It’ll be recording everything that we need and coming right back here to my feed in the van. It’s small enough that it won’t get detected by any scanners. Unfortunately we won’t be able to communicate but if you say ‘pineapple’ we’ll come in and get you out.” 

“Pineapple.” You said more to yourself than to Peter. 

“Pineapple. And I mean, Y/N. Anything starts to get fishy you get out of there. Roger’s is ruthless.” 

“I know.” You patted his shoulder. “Thanks for looking out for me, rook.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He pushed you out the van. “Kick ass, partner.” 

You gave him a small salute before turning around and following another group of girls dressed just like you into the expansive mansion in front of you. 

You tried not to be too awestruck as you took in the structure of the building. It looked like something out of an old mystery novel. The entire place was dark. Dark wood and dark furniture. The lights all a dimmed tan light that fed into the mysterious atmosphere. Your eyes darted to the artwork that littered the wall, all depictions of a fall from grace. 

Is that how you see yourself, Rogers? A fallen angel? 

“Hey!” You snapped back to attention as a frantic voice called over to you. “What the hell are you doing? Get to the kitchen.” 

You bit your tongue as you glared at the rude man before following the rest of the women into the kitchen. 

Dressed all like you, there were probably about twenty other women there. All of them easily could have been supermodels. The rude man pushed you towards a group of about three of them who were all balancing drinks on a tray. 

“Grab one and go.” The man, Stan you gathered from his nametag, said before turning to another group of women. You picked up a tray and prayed to all powers in the universe that the combination of full glasses of wine and these heels didn’t cause you to completely embarrass yourself. 

The ballroom was huge. You suddenly felt very small as you wandered around the room, offering drinks to some of New York’s most high profile residents. You kept your eyes peeled for the familiar mob boss. Your heart rate sped up as you noticed him across the room, chatting with a beautiful woman. You watched as he leaned down and whispered something to her, causing her to blush before playfully pushing his shoulder. He just smirked before turning his attention to the man on the other side of him-Clint Barton, completely ignoring her now, but she still stayed by his side watching his every move. 

Pathetic. 

You had to get to him. Get him alone and get him talking. But how? 

“Well aren’t you the prettiest thing in the room.” You felt yourself stiffen as a pair of hands wandered down your back and rested on your hip. The smell of expensive cologne attacking your senses. 

Slowly you turned around to find James “Bucky” Barnes looking at you like a predator to its prey. Bucky, was Steve’s right hand man. His best friend. He was handsome. Dark hair, even darker blue eyes and a smirk, that if he was anyone else, would have your panties melted off before you could even blink. You glanced down at the infamous metal arm that was hidden underneath an expensive suit jacket, but his hand flexed slightly as he noticed you looking at it. 

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” You forced out. “Can I offer you a drink?” You pushed the tray between the two of you in offering and also creating more space. 

“No, I’m all set, doll.” He raised his glass of scotch. “Just wanted to talk to a pretty thing like you.” 

“There are plenty of other beautiful women here.” You said, your voice slightly cold. You hoped he would get the hint. 

“None quite like you.” He smirked and you fought everything in you to roll your eyes. 

“Does that line actually work?” 

Bucky took a step back at your bluntness. You see out of the corner of your eye, Rogers and Barton start to head towards the door. You had to make a move, because if he left to go do business he might not come back down for a while. 

“It was nice talking to you, Mr. Barnes.” You quickly moved past him, ignoring his short “wait”. You rushed, but not too obviously, towards where Steve was heading. If you went fast enough you could cut him off. You felt your heart drop to your stomach as you tripped over your heels, the tray in your hand shooting forward and the glasses of red wine landing square on Steve Rogers’ suit. 

“What the fuck?” The room went silent at his angry outburst. You stumbled as you tried to stand up, but were immediately hoisted up when his large hands wrapped around the tops of your arms. 

“I’m so sorry, sir.” You sputtered. For a moment you forgot where you were. Why you were here. His blue eyes, dark with fury, scanned your face as he held your arms. You had never really taken a good look at him. All pictures in his file weren’t anything special or high definition. But now, seeing him up close? You were beginning to understand the woman from earlier giddiness. 

He was beautiful. 

You bit your lip as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. You suddenly felt very aware of your body and the fact that he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you. 

“Go.” He pushed you towards the door he had been walking to with Barton. You walked through the door with shaky legs as you heard him mutter something to Barton before following you. 

“Sir, I’m so-” 

“Shut up.” He growled as he stepped through the door, the heavy wood slamming shut behind him. “Walk.” 

You hesitated. You didn’t know where he wanted you to walk to. Grumbling, Steve once again pushed you forward and you just started walking down the hallway. As you walked down you noticed a door that was slightly ajar. You glanced in while walking past and took note of the firearms and drugs that were very obviously there.

“Keep. Walking.” Steve’s voice was harsh in your ear before you heard him slam the door shut. 

“Yes, sir.” you muttered. 

The two of you continued to walk until you made it to the room at the end of the hall. Tentatively you opened it, waiting for any different direction, but Steve remained silent behind you so you continued. 

The room was...different. It was very different from the dark vibe of the rest of the house. There was a large bay window to your left that overlooked the back of the house that homed a large garden and pool. The walls were painted a soft beige and the furniture a lighter wood than the rest of the house. Even the bed was covered in a white duvet that looked like a cloud just waiting to be jumped on. It was homey. It was nice. 

“Mr. Rogers-” 

“Who do you work for?” He demanded, shutting the door. 

You froze. You tried hard to make sure your face didn’t give away anything as he stared you down. You didn’t let your gaze falter as he stalked closer to you. 

“Lee’s Catering.” You answered earnestly. 

“Bullshit.” He was now only a foot away from you. His broad shoulders heaving as he raked you up and down. “I know every single girl that works for Stan. I’ve never seen you before. So answer me again and honestly this time. Who the fuck do you work for?” 

“So he’s not allowed to hire new girls?” You snapped, immediately covering your mouth with your hand. 

Fuck. 

“Watch your tone with me, sweetheart. You’re on very thin ice right now.” He closed the final gap between the two of you and you gasped when his hand went around your throat, but not tightening enough to cut off any oxygen. 

“That old bat isn’t allowed to hire anyone that I haven’t vetted.” He hissed in your ear. You shuttered as the vibrato of his voice sent shivers straight down to your core. 

“Please.” Your voice came out in a whisper as your eyes pleaded with him. 

Steve opened his mouth but nothing came out, his nose brushed along the curve of your neck and you sucked in a breath as his mouth latched onto the sensitive spot underneath your jaw. 

“Strip.” He commanded, pushing you back causing you to fall onto the bed. 

“What?” 

“Take off your fucking clothes so I can see if you’re wired.” He snapped. You slowly pulled at the hem of your dress before drawing it up your body and over your head. Before you could fully get it off he stopped you. Your heart stopped as he reached over to the butterfly pin and pulled it off the dress. You watched in horror as he walked to his door, opening it and calling out to someone at the end of the hall. 

“Yeah boss?” You tried to see him, but Steve’s frame was blocking the small opening in the door. 

“Take this and run a test. Let me know if it’s bugged.” He demanded before closing the door. When he turned around he raised an expectant eyebrow at you letting you know you still had to take off the dress. You resumed your actions and turned your face away when his eyes flared at the matching set of red lingerie you had on underneath. 

“See? No wires.” You whispered. 

Steve didn’t say anything as he stalked towards you, rolling up the sleeves to the dress shirt he had on. Your body flushed as he leaned over you, his strong arms resting on either side of your chest. Slowly, he moved on hand to the strap of your bra before lowering it down off your shoulder. His thumb brushed over your pebbling nipple and you wanted to smack the smirk that formed on his face straight off. 

“I better double check you’re not hiding anything anywhere.” He muttered before pulling the cup of your bra down, exposing your left breast. You shuttered as his thumb brushed over it again, this time with no barrier. His mouth was hot as wrapped his lips around the bud, causing you to let out an unwilling moan. Your hips bucked up as his tongue expertly ran over your nipple. His deftly unclipped your bra and moved his mouth to your other breast and continued the same assault. His hands moved down to your hips to steady them from bucking against his growing member. 

“Hmm, looks like we’re clear up here.” He chuckled as his lips moved up to your jaw before capturing your mouth with his. 

The kiss was fiery and embarrassingly so sent a wave of pleasure down to your aching core. You moaned into the kiss as you ran your fingers through his hair, giving it a tight tug. Steve growled at your movements as he fully leaned into you now, his muscular thighs trapping yours on the bed. 

You ran your tongue along his bottom lip before slipping it in to find his own. You nearly came as Steve moaned into your mouth, his hands tightening on you and pulling you up to meet his rutting hips. Using all your strength you spun the two of you around, your mouths still connected, so you were now straddling his pelvis. You pulled away from the kiss and sat up. 

Steve slowly opened his eyes, his pupils blown in desire as he looked up at you through hooded eyes. You began to unbutton his wine stained shirt, running your hands over his porcelain skin when it was fully opened. You traced your fingers over the tattoos that littered his abs and ribs. You took pleasure in the fact that Steve would shiver with every pass of your fingertip. 

“I’m sorry about the stain, Mr. Rogers.” You said innocently, leaning down, your breasts pushed together as they rested on his now bare chest. 

“You should be, princess.” His voice was deep. You let out a small yelp as one of his hands gave a harsh slap to your ass. “This is an expensive shirt. And don’t even get me started on the trousers.” 

You hummed in understanding as you gave tiny kisses across his jaw and neck, taking time to suck on the skin around his collarbone. Your hands wandered down his body till they came in contact with the trousers in question. Slowly you sat up, running your hands over the stain on his pants but your eyes never leaving his. 

“I hope you can get the stain out.” You licked your lips as you moved your body down his own until your face was directly by his crotch and the stain. You sucked on the stain near his cock and smiled when his member jumped in his briefs. You slowly pulled down his pants until he was just in his underwear, his cock trying so hard to break free from it’s confines. 

Steve groaned as you finally freed his aching member. You gave the tip a little kitten lick as you looked up at him. He was now resting his weight on his arms as he leaned back and watched you in absolute wonder. You brushed your thumb across the tip, dragging the precum that had gathered there down the rest of his shaft. Your mouth watered at the thought of having him in your mouth. But you wanted to torture him a bit more. 

You ran your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock, while your hand squeezed lightly at the base. You wrapped your lips around the tip, your tongue playing with the slit there before pulling back with a pop. 

“Mhmm, tasty.” You continued treating him like your own personal lollipop, but never fully enveloping his dick in your mouth. 

“Sweetheart, either fucking suck it like I know you can or I’ll shove it down your fucking throat.” Steve wrapped your hair into a makeshift ponytail and forced your head up. “Got it?” 

You didn’t respond, instead you finally took him into your mouth. You pushed past your gag reflex and took him all the way in until your nose brushed against the hairs on his naval. 

“Oh fuck.” Steve’s voice praised as he started moving his hips, fucking his cock down the back of your throat. 

Your eyes watered as you let him use your throat as his own little fuck toy. You reached between your legs trying to relieve the tension that was building there. You moaned around his cock as your fingers toyed with your clit. 

“Shit, I wanna come in that fucking pussy.” He moaned as he pulled you off the floor and threw you back on the bed. You laid back, your fingers moving back to your clit as you watched him fully take off his clothes. He watched you with interest as you moved your lace panties to the side and slid a finger up your slit, gathering your juices before gently rubbing your clit again. He ran his hands up your legs before grabbing your hand and stopping your actions. 

“This,” He patted harshly against your pussy and you moaned at the sensation. “Is mine. Don’t touch, unless I tell you to.” 

“Yes, sir.” You moaned as his fingers replaced yours. Your back arched as he dipped one finger into your hole. 

“Fuck, baby. When was the last time somebody fucked this little cunt? You’re so fucking tight, baby.” He moaned, watching as your pussy greedily closed around his finger. 

“You’re gonna feel so good around my cock, sweetheart.” Steve’s eyes met yours and for a moment he looked like a man that you might actually want to be with. His cold exterior was gone and replaced with a man who was just as lustfully lost as you were. 

“I want your cock now. Please.” you cried out as he slipped another finger in. Your body bucking as he curled his fingers up hitting that spot that so few had been able to get to with you. 

“Yeah? My little slut wants daddy’s cock to fill her up?” He leaned over you, capturing your lips again. You moaned into his mouth at his words. You never admitted it to anyone but you always had a little bit of a daddy kink. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly as waves of pleasure crashed over you. 

“Please, daddy.” You whimpered against his lips as your hips bucked against his. “Please fuck me.” 

Steve chuckled darkly, kissing you quickly again, before ripping your panties clean off your body. You didn’t even care that he just ruined the most expensive pair of underwear you owned. You just needed his cock in you now. 

You bit the inside of your cheek as you watched him lineup his cock with your dripping hole, slowly pushing the head into your tight channel. You both let out moans as he bottomed out. He fell forward, his forehead resting against yours. You whined as you tried to move your hips against his but he just forced them down with his hands. 

“Steve!” You all but screamed. “Please.” 

“Patience, baby.” He said through gritted teeth. “Your pussy’s so fucking tight. Squeezing daddy’s cock so good. I just need a minute.” 

You let out a humph as you continued to buck your hips against his. 

“What the fuck did I just say?” He growled, he leaned up and wrapped his hand around your throat. “Don’t be a fucking brat.” 

You opened your mouth to apologize but it was overtaken as you let out a yelp as he pulled himself out before slamming his cock back into you. You threw your head back as he fucked into you relentlessly, his hand tightening around your throat. You were in a state of euphoria as his cock dragged in and out of your walls. 

“Oh my god.” You mewl as he continues to completely destroy your pussy. Before you could process what’s happening, Steve flips you over so your face is pushed into the fluffy comforter. He pulls your hips back so your ass is in the air and he easily slides back into you. 

“Tight little cunt fucking loves my cock.” You cry out as his hand delivers a slap against your ass before moving to your hips and pushing you back onto his dick. You feel your eyes roll to the back of your head as the tip of his cock hits your g-spot. 

“Daddy!” You call out. Steve leans over and pulls you up by your neck, causing your back to be flush with his front as he fucks up into you. His other hand moves down to play with your clit. 

“Are you gonna come baby girl? I feel your pussy milking my cock. You wanna come?” He growls in your ear. “Huh? You wanna come all over my cock?” 

“Yes! Oh god, yes!” 

“I’m so close, princess.” He drops his head into the crook of your neck. “Come on, baby. Squeeze my cock, make daddy come with you.” 

You feel that familiar feeling in your tummy as your orgasm approaches. 

“Shit.” You breathe out as your orgasm gets closer and closer. Steve’s fingers move faster against your clit. You cry out as your orgasm finally crashes over you. Steve lets out a groan as you feel his cock twitch inside of you, his cum shooting inside your walls. 

“You feel so good.” He breathes as his orgasm dies down. You hum in agreement but you’re too tired to say anything else. You close your eyes as you feel Steve lower your both to the bed. You whimper as he pulls out of you. 

“I’ll be right back.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you just give him a nod. You’re completely incoherent. Totally fucked out. He’s gone for a couple minutes and you hear the water in the bathroom running before he comes back. With your eyes closed you don’t see how he pauses at the side of bed, appreciating the curves of your body as you curled yourself under one of his many blankets. 

You whine as you feel him move the blanket before running a washcloth between your legs. “Steve?” 

“Yes, princess?” You hate that your stomach flutters at the nickname. 

“Don’t leave.” You mutter, closing your eyes once more. 

Steve doesn’t respond for a second and at first you think that he’s going to leave but then you feel the bed dip and a strong arm pulling you close. You smile to yourself as your hand lands on top of his. 

“Get some rest.” He whispers in your ear. 

“Mmkay.” you hum and you don’t know if it’s your imagination or not but you swore you felt Steve smile against your skin. 

You wake with a jolt. You glance at the clock and curse silently. You’ve been asleep for two hours. You turn over and see Steve still there, his eyes closed and his breathing steady. You find yourself staring at his long eyelashes and how they rest gently along the tops of his cheek. He doesn’t look like a scary mob boss here. He looks human. He looks peaceful. 

“I can feel you staring.” Steve opens one eye and gives you a small smile. “Like what you see?” 

You gasp as he grabs you and has you straddle his hips. You rest your hands easily on his chest and stare down at him, smirking as you feel his cock start to stir. 

“Hmmm, I love these.” His hands reach up and twist at your nipples causing you to bite back a moan. 

“Steve…” 

“And your pussy is so responsive to me, princess. It’s like it was made for me.” He rubs his thumb across your clit. “I can feel how wet you are again.” 

“Well you’re playing with my clit. Of course I’m gonna get wet.” You retort. 

Steve raises an eyebrow at you. “You really think being sassy is in your best interest?” 

You roll your eyes but don’t respond. Steve grumbles before lifting you up a bit and impaling you on his now hard cock. 

“Fuck!” You slap his chest and Steve chuckles. Nonetheless you start rocking your hips against his. 

“Nuh uh,” Steve tuts. He holds your hips still. “You’re just gonna sit here like this. Keep me nice and warm.” 

“Steveeee.” You whine, lowering your head to his chest. 

“Don’t be such a brat then.” He growls. You raise your head to look at him and even though his words are tough, his eyes are soft. And for a moment your taken back. “So sit still for daddy.” 

You groan but stay still. Steve runs his fingers up and down your back, tracing patterns along your skin and you hum in appreciation. Your peaceful moment is upended though when his phone rings on the nightstand next to him. 

“Rogers.” He answers quickly. You stay quiet as you hear the voice on the other end of the line talk about the product movement. You smirk to yourself as Steve begins to discuss logistics, completely ignoring your presence. 

“I’m a little busy, Stark.” Tony Stark? As in Mayor of the city Tony Stark? He was in on this too. “I’ll call you back.” Steve threw his phone back on the nightstand and brought your face up to his to pull you into a searing kiss. 

“Please, daddy?” You say against his lips. You start rocking your hips again and this time, Steve doesn’t stop you. 

You're a moaning mess as Steve’s hips snap up yours, your orgasm fast approaching. 

“Gonna cum already?” 

“Yes, yes! Oh god, I’m so close!” You breathe as he quickens his pace. 

“Cum, baby girl. Make a mess on daddy.” He groans, his head tipping back. 

“Steve!” You choke out as your body spasms with pleasure. Steve comes quickly after you and you shutter as you feel his seed leaking out of your worn out hole. 

You lay your head down on his chest again and try to gather your thoughts. You need to get out of here. 

“I should go.” You whisper, sitting up. Steve’s cock is still inside you and you almost don’t want to leave because you feel so full. 

“I wanna see you again.” He runs his fingers across your cheek. The sense of power you feel seeing the country’s biggest mob boss underneath you, drunk on your sex is overwhelming. You love the feeling. 

“You will. Soon.” You lean down and give him a deep kiss. “I promise.” You peck his lips once more before gathering your clothes from the floor. 

Slipping on your shoes you give him one last wink before hurrying out the door and down the hall. You manage to find a way to the kitchen without having to walk through the rest of the party and you sneak out behind a delivery man who brought in a ridiculously large ice sculpture. 

Once you're outside you take your heels off and run towards the van down the street. You hurriedly knock on the back, checking your surroundings to make sure no one sees you. Peter opens the door and he looks like he’s seen a ghost when he sees you. 

“Y/N!” He pulls you into the van. “Oh my god, I was getting worried. When we heard him say that he wanted to check the pin I had to turn off the devices so they wouldn’t get traced. And then you didn’t come out. But Fury said that you would be fine but man, I was so nervous and-”

“Parker, shut up and hand me a piece of paper.” You clapped your hands together, pulling him out of his ramble. Peter nodded and handed you a pen and paper watching intently as you started writing down everything you overheard on the phone call. 

“What is this?” 

“Rogers is working with Stark and they're moving some sort of product tomorrow.” You said proudly.

“How did you...this is huge!” 

“My Ma always said that there are two ways to get to a man. One is through his stomach and the other is in his pants.” You shrugged. 

“And I’m guessing you didn’t make him a grilled cheese sandwich.” Peter makes a face. 

“Not exactly.” You laugh. “Now let’s go. We gotta get this to Fury.” 

Part 2

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 13 - ao3 -

The wedding of a sect leader with the stature of Wen Ruohan was, as Lao Nie had predicted, an experience unlike any Lan Qiren had ever had before.

It was also, as Wen Ruohan had predicted, loud and full of crowds, things that Lan Qiren didn’t especially like. Luckily, despite being the groom’s ‘brother’, Wen Ruohan wasn’t requiring Lan Qiren to actually participate in any way, and he was just able to watch from a distance.

He tried not to think of Wen Ruohan’s casual admission that he had, in fact, devised the marriage just to deal with the issues with Lan Qiren’s reputation – and Lao Nie’s concern thereof, no doubt – and reassured himself that the bride was undoubtedly well prepared for her new life and would soon find her footing as the mistress of the Wen sect, where she would more than likely be happy in time.

That was how such things went, wasn’t it? Even with his sect’s notorious tendency towards love-madness, the people like his father, who married for love, were the exception and not the rule…

(He also tried not to think about the fact that Wen Ruohan accepted all the toasts for his wedding using a drinking bowl in Gusu style, painted with a border of vermilion birds, or the fact that, despite Lan Qiren having gifted a set, it was the only one of its kind on the table, leaving Wen Ruohan's new bride to drink from a much fancier gold-gilded bowl – but that was more because he didn’t understand what it meant, and wasn’t sure he wanted to.)

“Did you even get a chance to see him?” his brother asked when they returned, looking coldly disapproving.

“I did,” Lan Qiren said, thinking to himself less of the dinner that they’d shared with Lao Nie and more of the brief moment when the Lan sect delegation been about to leave, a servant appearing and whisking him off briefly back to the family quarters where Wen Ruohan, looking as composed as ever, pressed a too-familiar hand to his head and told him that he was sure he’d be seeing him again soon. “He didn’t say much.”

Nothing his brother would care about, anyway.

His brother nodded, looking unsurprised, and dismissed him, remarking unnecessarily, “You missed the first few days of classes,” as if Lan Qiren wasn’t aware of when each season of classes started for the disciples better than him. After all, Lan Qiren hoped to become a teacher one day, when he tired of traveling, and to do for future generations of the Lan sect what his teachers had done for him, and he took it as seriously as he did anything else.

The seasonal classes were his favorite, largely because such classes were open not only to the Lan sect disciples but to certain guest disciples – typically the children of rogue cultivators that the Lan sect wanted to encourage to join the sect, which meant that they had to pass through the same rigorous standards applicable to the usual sect disciples. Lan Qiren had always thought it was a shame that their classes were so limited in scope, although he acknowledged there wasn’t much to be done about it; after all, how many sects would be willing to send their children to be taught by outsiders?

A puzzle for another day.

For now, Lan Qiren made his way to the classroom, taking advantage of the lunch break to settle his things in his familiar seat at the side of the room. He hoped that coming in during the middle of the day would reduce the number of whispers that seemed to invariably greet him these days – luckily much more inclined to see him as a source of information rather than a victim or, worse, a perpetrator – but he didn’t have much faith in it.

“Hey, you’re in my seat.”

Lan Qiren looked up: it was a female disciple. Her face was unfamiliar to him, which suggested she was a rogue cultivator – while men and women lived separately in the Cloud Recesses, they came together for meals and other such events, and despite his introversion, Lan Qiren knew most if not all of his peer group by now.

“Sanren,” he said politely, rising and saluting. “Forgive me, but this has always been my seat.”

She frowned at him. “You didn’t claim it at the start of classes.”

“I missed the start of classes due to an unavoidable conflict.”

“I’ve been using it all week,” she said, and looked at him expectantly, as if anticipating an answer.

Lan Qiren wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say here. “I’ve been using it all my life. What’s your point?”

“So you’re not going to give it up for me?”

Lan Qiren stared at her. “Obviously not.”

She grinned toothily at him. “All the boys give up their seats for me. I understand that it’s a matter of etiquette.”

“Whoever told you that was lying,” he said flatly.

“Oh, I like you,” she said, and crossed her arms – an aggressive posture, although her tone, like Wen Ruohan’s, seemed more amused than anything else. How strange to see a sudden resemblance, when they very clearly had nothing else in common. “How would you know? Maybe it’s in the rules.”

Well, that was a mistake.

“Really,” Lan Qiren said, and smiled. “Why don’t we examine that supposition?”

She blinked at him, suddenly wary, but it was too late: if there was one thing Lan Qiren knew, it was his sect’s rules. Learning how to beat people over the head with them on purpose was a more recent development, and he was still working on fine-tuning that – most people started begging for mercy while he still felt irritated, but when they continued listening with apparent interest, as the rogue cultivator girl did, he swiftly forgot that he was trying to make a point and shifted over to actual enthusiasm for the subject.

“Cangse Sanren!”

Lan Qiren’s listener started and very nearly fell over – she’d put her chin on her hands at some point during the discussion of the origin of the rules regarding interactions between men and women, and hadn’t accounted for that when twisting to see who was calling her.

It was a mixed group of sect disciples, with some of Lan Qiren’s cousins and disciples of other surnames that he recognized, plus a few more that were likely rogue cultivators’ children as well.

“Oh,” she said. “You. What is it?”

“I see you got caught up in one of Lan-er-gongzi’s boring rule lectures,” one of the disciples said – one of Lan Ganhui’s friends, with Lan Ganhui himself nearby, grimacing at him in an attempt to make him stop. Lan Ganhui had gotten a lot more likely to leave Lan Qiren alone ever since Lan Yueheng had decided to befriend him, even intervening to make his friends leave off, but this time the other disciple ignored him, his eyes too focused on those ahead of him to pay him any mind; he was smiling intently at the rogue cultivator girl in a way that was clearly attempting to seem charming. “Don’t feel like you have to listen to him just because he’s main branch, you know! No one else does.”

“You shouldn’t say that,” one of the others muttered, glancing warily at Lan Qiren. It wasn’t apparent whether he was concerned about Lan Qiren’s rank, personality, or family connection.

For his part, Lan Qiren just felt tired. He would like to think that they were all part of the same sect, learning the same things, but he knew that wasn’t how the world worked. There were good people and bad in every sect, and the undercurrents that came with any community were inescapable.

“You’re joking, right?” the girl – who had the title of Cangse Sanren, apparently – said unexpectedly. “His explanation is three times more interesting than the stupid learning by rote we’ve been doing so far.”

“Learning by repetition has a long history of being the most effective way of learning something,” Lan Qiren objected. “Even the most unrepentant scoundrel would learn the rules by heart if he had to copy them down for a month, and then when that was done and the foundation built, you could get started on explaining the why of them.”

“But repetition’s not as interesting,” Cangse Sanren said. “I really liked that story about Lan Yi.”

Lan Qiren looked at her suspiciously. He’d never outgrown his tendency to speak in a dull monotone – one of his peers had once compared it to the thudding of grinding stones in a mill – and it was the rare person who actually appreciated the rules the way he did. His teachers, of course, and some of the other more studious disciples did, but even with them he’d be hard pressed to say they actually liked his rambling.

She held up her hands. “Really! I feel like I understand why she put the rule in place now, whereas before it felt like I was just learning the rule for the sake of learning the rule.”

“That’s because you need to learn the rules before you learn the background,” he said. “The rules are a house built without nails, each piece in its place doing its part to maintain the whole - one rule backs another, while being supported in turn. Only once you know what the rules are can you move to understanding the reasons behind them.”

And from understanding to accepting, allowing our ancestors’ wisdom to act as a guiding light that clears the fog from your path, he wanted to say, because he loved the rules, truly and sincerely.

People made fun of him sometimes, thinking him boring or stuffy or overly strict, with no flexibility and too little empathy, saying he was obsessed with the rules for no beneficial purpose, but to him the rules were a gift from the past to the future. The Wall of Discipline represented the accumulated life experience of dozens if not hundreds of Lan sect disciples before him, turned through debate and contemplation into advice they thought would be able to help guide those that came after them to living a good, clean, happy life. As their descendant, how could he fail to honor that which those people, who had loved him without knowing him, had strained themselves to give him?

In just the same way, it was his duty to love the future generations that had yet to be born, to act as the bridge to that unknown future, entrusted by his ancestors to carry to them the rules that would be both his inheritance and his legacy. Those nameless faces dressed in Lan white, unborn children with his brother’s face or even his own, of his cousins and fellow disciples alike, all those souls that had yet to enter this world but who he loved so much already – if he could spare them a single iota of pain through his own experience, how could he not do so, and gladly? How could he not do everything he could to give them everything he had received from the rules, that sense of pride of their history, the strength and wisdom that could be passed down no other way? How could that be a burden?

Lan Qiren had never really had the chance to explain any of that to anyone, his tongue too stiff and clumsy to convey what sometimes he felt could only be expressed in song or poetry, and he did not have such a chance now: as usual, the other disciples were already laughing, dismissing him as a teacher’s pet, overly rule-bound, obsessed with homework and test-taking, a boring old fart whose soul was prematurely aged.

“What’s wrong with being old?” Cangse Sanren asked, her voice flatter than it was before, and the boys in front of her suddenly scrambled to start apologizing so fast that Lan Qiren was left wondering what exactly he’d missed.

“Class is starting soon,” he said instead of asking, though he promised himself he’d ask around later. Surely someone would know. “Everyone should take your seat – no, Cangse Sanren, as I’ve said, that one is mine.”

She grinned unrepentantly at him and stepped back over where he’d kicked his foot out to block her. “You win, this time,” she said, and took the seat next to him with absolutely no remorse for whoever might have been sitting there before. “Watch yourself, stick-in-the-mud.”

Lan Qiren glared, though somehow Cangse Sanren’s teasing didn’t feel as annoying as the other disciples’ usually did. Even if she did make several more attempts on his seat over the course of the day, causing him to have to fend her off or think ahead to evade her latest attempt.

He initially thought that she might try to come to class early the next day to try to claim it before he did, but instead she dragged herself in only moments before class was due to start, face haggard as if waking up at the very tail end of mao hour was the equivalent to rising at yin, although she was back to her regular form soon enough, bright and clever enough to make any teacher fond of her.

This became something of a pattern, in fact – sluggish wakening, intellectual jousting during class and an unspoken competition over the seat that had formerly been reserved for him outside of it. In the afternoons she usually went off with the more martially minded disciples, while he spent his time in the library or musical halls, though at some point she started dropping off random foodstuffs by his door in the early evening as if she thought he was too thin.

“Maybe she has a crush on you!” Lan Yueheng said enthusiastically; bizarrely enough, he seemed to like romance as much as his explosions or his math.

“I think it’s a little closer to treating me like a stray cat that she found and took a shine to,” Lan Qiren said, shaking his head. All the boys in the sect would have paid in gold and jewels for Cangse Sanren to give them a second look, and she didn’t care one whit for the best of them; there was no need for her to go courting when she could get three serious offers of marriage just by winking. “Give them here, I’ll redistribute them to the younger children.”

“You can’t do that!” Lan Yueheng looked offended. “It’s her sincere offering! From the heart!”

“It’s food she purchased in town,” Lan Qiren said doubtfully. “It’s not as if she baked them herself. Anyway, I can’t eat this many sweets without getting a stomachache. What else am I supposed to do with it? Let it rot?”

“Qiren-xiong, you’re the most unromantic person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m going to assume that’s a bad thing,” Lan Qiren said, not taking offense. “Do you want some? Last offer before they’re gone.”

“…well, I mean, if you’re going to give them away anyway…”

He told Cangse Sanren what he was doing the next day, as a matter of politeness in the event that she wanted to stop once she knew what he was doing, and she just laughed – she always laughed at just about everything, he’d found. She didn’t stop delivering food, either, which he might have expected, though she did shift over into items that were easier to distribute.

Their entire mode of interacting was simultaneously very annoying and also not, and Lan Qiren didn’t have the slightest idea about what to do with it.

And then he got his first letter from Wen Ruohan.

[ethrenisnotthehero]

@hogwartsmystory is a predator (final)

If you haven’t read the other parts of this callout, I encourage you to start here. As in both previous posts, the normal tags are not included in order to allow this to reach as many people as possible. Potential triggers are listed below, and the main content is hidden to keep sensitive individuals from being unintentionally exposed.

TW: Pedophilia, Abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual Assault, Self Harm, Suicide, NSFW Topics, Faked Illness, Faked Mental Illness, Faked Death, Victim Blaming

Originally, I intended to craft this final part to you, the reader, as an emotional appeal. To be wholly honest, there’s only so much evidence that can be utilized without either forcing Jill to relive unnecessary trauma or exposing deeply intimate or personal parts of her life. Until now, everything I’ve told you and everything I’ve shown you is what was enough to convince me when Jill first reached out to me. If you, the reader, don’t believe the factual information that’s been presented so far, then I don’t think that you will. If you, the reader, believe Jill and her story, then no further evidence is going to magically make her story more true.

However, I don’t have to. Instead, I can let the friends-- the family--that Ren created on his website speak for themselves, and show you with their own testimony just the kind of person he was. Jill wasn’t the only person that Ren hurt. Jill wasn’t even the only person Ren preyed on as a sexual predator. Many people on staff, and many people outside of it, knew Ren and grew to have what they thought was a close relationship with him. People regarded him as someone to look up to, to find comfort in, to aspire after, to lean on; people thought of him as a friend and a hero in his community.

On April 12, 2021, at 9:57 AM Greenwhich Mean Time, the current administrators of Advanced Scribes issued a statement addressing Ren’s actions and his faked death. An additional announcement was made the following day. While the announcements themselves and the replies (including moderator statements) are publicly available, I have saved a print-to-PDF versions on Google for you to browse at your leisure. 

I intentionally waited until the initial panic and outrage died out a little to let the most important statements come to light. Included in the PDF are sentiments that I personally thought were the most important sentiments; edits have been made and pages have been deleted, so you can see the current state of the conversations by visiting them directly. You can find the first discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42100#p1454263 and the second discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42107#p1454361.

Before you continue reading, please look over the statements and replies. The words of former staff former friends say more than I can ever hope to about Ren and the kind of reality that he stood for. Additionally, Jill herself has added to the conversation (username Rakuen), so you can read a bit from her perspective by looking into these announcements. After you’ve taken a look, continue below and I will sum up my final thoughts on this predator and his legacy.

Advanced Scribes • Our Statement (PDF)

Advanced Scribes • Change (PDF)

The Act of Grooming, Part 3: Entrapment

One of the reasons that predators get away with their crimes for so long is because they trap their victims. When they gain access to and successfully lure in their prey, they then engage in entrapment behavior to separate victims from other people and build reliance. The reason why kids are so prone to predation is because of how vulnerable they are. Young people just want to belong. They just want to have community, security, and affection. When they can’t get those things in their lives, they seek it out and take it where they can get it even when the situation is obviously bad. Kids can’t be held accountable for being smart because they’re kids. Jill was vulnerable. She wanted belonging and support. She fell into Ren’s lures, and he trapped her. He used his affection as a tool to solicit sexual favors and pictures from her, but never shared his face with her. She was always chasing his love, and all the while he was simultaneously preying on other individuals in the community. For God’s sake, this man had a selfie thread where underage girls would send pictures of themselves publicly on the site for him to look at, and he even intentionally disabled the website’s COPPA features.

Before Jill, there was Buttercup. Buttercup was also an admin, and she was also 13 when she met Ren. While Ren was a minor during he and Buttercup’s relationship, his behavior with her was just as predatory and Buttercup attempted to warn Jill via PM before she ended her relationship with him.

The picture he sent Buttercup wasn’t even him.

The entire time that Ren was convincing Jill that Buttercup was evil, and jealous, and a spiteful, hateful person, he was manipulating her the same way he was manipulating Jill. Ren is a predator who knows what he’s doing; he always has. He draws in his victims and makes everyone hate them so that he’s the only person they have. He makes them so desperate for his approval that they let him screw them over time and time again, and for what? Just to see his face. Think about what you read. He didn’t just do this to Jill and Buttercup. He did this to every person he cheated with or got close enough to get a grip on. Even if he didn’t sexually exploit someone, he emotionally did. An entire community of people suffered through this over and over and over again. Read the statements again. If you only read the live version, read the PDF. 

I also want you to bear in mind that everyone on staff was equally a victim as they were an enabler. It doesn’t erase their responsibility, but their roles in this story or more nuanced than “moderator bad, burn the witch!” Some of Ren’s supporters were as young or younger than Jill when they met him. The two people most notorious for standing at his side right now were both “rewarded” with a relationship with him in the fallout of his faked death.  

At some point, this man looked at his behavior and not only decided that he didn’t need to take responsibility, but that his victims daring to try and claim some kind of ownership over their own story was a personal affront to him. 

Ren is a monster of his own creation. He chose to be that monster again, and again, and again.

What makes his enablers equally to blame is when they became adults and made a conscious choice to ignore what was happening, which brings us to the next topic.

Finally... How Old Was Jill?

Despite everything I’ve said and shared so far, I still get this question in my inbox.

How old was Jill? Did she lie about her age? Is she free of guilt because she was a kid? Did he know how old she was? Was she legal in her country?

I gave you all everything I had. There were some things I just couldn’t confirm because there was no proof either way. However, all of that changed when the announcements were released. I now know exactly how old Jill was when they began dating, exactly how old she was when people knew about their relationship, and even that Ren was public with all of this information. I also know that staff knew everything, and chose to do nothing.

As you can see in the screenshots above of Buttercup’s message, it was sent on Jun 17, 2015. At that time, Jill was 14 years old. By Buttercup’s estimation, they had been dating for around a few months, which is how I was able to discern the previous exact age of 14 years old at the time they began dating.

However, Ren himself refutes that fact in a Valentine’s post for Jill. As pointed out in the “Our Statement” thread, the post that user amnesia. references includes very sexual and disgustingly graphic descriptions of Ren’s activity with her. It also says this:

As per the timestamp of this particular post (as seen below), Jill was 16 at the time. Ren, a man claiming to be twenty-five years old at the time, was proud to admit that he had been with Jill since she was 13.

You can view the full PDF of this post to see what else he said here, but please be warned that his descriptions are NSFW and absolutely disgusting. 

Warm Fuzzies Post (PDF)

No adult should talk about a kid like that. In the statements, several staff members admit that they knew that the two were dating when she was 16, and that it grossed them out. But none of them did anything. To amnesia.’s credit, they claim they tried to pursue legal action but found no viable routes. 

From the discussions and statements, we can discern five things:

1. Jill was 13 when she started dating Ren. 2. She did not lie about her age. 3. Ren did not lie about her age. 4. Ren knew how old she was. 5. Staff knew how old she was.

Jill’s feelings and her opinions on staff and their behavior are separate from my own. She does not share my beliefs here, and I need to make it very clear that what I’m saying next is entirely my own opinion.

To everyone who was staff at that time: shame on you. It’s one thing to be a victim yourself and to not understand how or when to stand up for what’s right, especially when you’re young; it’s another to become an adult and to have let something like this permeate your legacy and your community for all this time. From what I understand, none of you are completely innocent in this. Ren wasn’t secret, he was loud and proud and he didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. Everyone who was an adult then and is an adult now shares some responsibility for that. Those of you who mean your apologies, thank you, but those of you who are using this event as a stepping stone to make that website into your own personal playground know who you are. Stop. There’s an entire generation of kids between AS and CS who have lost years of their childhoods to this shit and the only right thing at this point would be to turn the site over to the police so that Ren can answer for his crimes the right way.

To everyone else: protect the people around you. People like Ren don’t think about how other people think or feel. They don’t care who gets hurt or who they trample under their feet. Look around at your community, and ask yourself if those who interact with you know that you are safe. Inevitably, someone is going to get hurt. Are you the kind of person that they can come to when it happens, or are you the kind of person who will turn your head away? 

Be the person that everyone knows they can come to, because, eventually, someone’s going to need you.

[shinyacademy]

Maximize Community Day

As a shiny hunter, Community Day provides a lot of opportunity to add more shinies to our teams across our games but only a handful of players take advantage of this opportunity. Here’s a list of ways for you to maximize Community Day every month.

1. Play Community Day even if you don’t regularly play Pokémon Go.

Obviously this doesn’t apply to regular Pokémon Go players but I hear so many console players complain about how they love shinies but don’t have the time/patience to put into getting one. Community Day is the fastest way to get a shiny. It is very uncommon that I don’t get one within the first hour. Play even if you don’t particularly love the featured Pokémon because you can always trade it later for one that does interest you!

2. Try to load up on Pokeballs before the event.

I try to limit my Pokeball usage about a week prior to ensure I don’t run out. This is particularly important if you are playing from home during lockdown or are stationary without a Pokestop for whatever reason.

3. Send gifts to your friends and open them every day. Purge unnecessary items.

This is a good way to stock up on Pokeballs. Toss away extra potions and super potions if your Pokémon are all healed up or you have a healthy supply of more powerful potions. If you have more than 100 pinap berries (no judgement here) purge the rest.

4. If you aren’t low on Pokeballs catch everything.

This will force spawns more often and get you candies. It’s ok to transfer Pokémon.

5. If you are low on Pokeballs don’t catch anything that isn’t shiny.

This strategy is if you are only interested in shiny hunting and not finding a three star. You can enter any encounter, check to see if it’s shiny, and exit the encounter if it’s not. These will take longer to respawn but ultimately conserve your pokeballs. Don’t use this strategy unless you are below 10.

6. When you encounter a shiny Pokémon, use your most powerful berry and your most powerful ball.

You might be asking yourself, shouldn’t I save my golden berries for raids? The answer is, if you raid really frequently you probably have a surplus. If you don’t raid really frequently you’re not using them! In a raid, you don’t really want to use your golden berries on anything less than a mythic, legendary or other shiny. Don’t use them on a 3 star ducklett raid.

Why go to the trouble? Well a lot of Pokémon, especially in Pokémon Go, can spontaneously flee after a failed catch. Therefore you want to make sure you get the Pokémon in on the first catch as much as possible.

7. Use incense. Especially if you’re not near a Pokestop. If you are near a Pokestop use a lure.

Volume is your friend when shiny hunting so you want to make sure you’re maximizing your encounters. Both incense and lures will help you encounter more Pokémon.

8. If you play PoGo, trade bad star/stat shinies with friends.

This works best if you are trading for the same Pokémon. Find a best friend and trade. Best outcome: you get a lucky trade. Worst outcome: you come out the same as you went in, with bad stat shinies.

9. Send your bad stat Pokémon to Pokémon Home after the event.

If you can’t use the shinies in Pokémon Go or have no interest in playing Pokémon Go outside of Community Day, send those shinies to Pokémon Home where you can send them to other Switch games. I know this guy is going to accompany all of my eggs from now on, as he has the ability Flame Body!

10. Don’t ignore Team Go Rocket or regular raids during the event.

These events can help you resupply and if you ignore them there’s a chance you’re passing up on shiny Pokémon there!

11. You don’t need to purchase the special research to increase your shiny odds.

Using the special research won’t really increase your chances of finding a shiny Pokémon on Community Day but it can help you out. The research will frequently supply you with much needed Pokeballs, extra candy and encounters with the featured Pokémon that have decent stats. If you can afford it then it’s a great way to ensure you’re stocked up and support Niantic but it’s absolutely not necessary, you can get a lot out of Community Day for free. In fact, while I regularly buy the special research and had it through the Kanto ticket, my wife never does and almost always catches more shinies than me. Why? Because she’s notoriously lucky!

10. If you can’t make Community Day for whatever reason, ask a friend to look out for you.

This might sound like a simple thing but it’s really not. I found out one of my friends who works retail had missed almost every Community Day despite being an avid fan. Now I always try to make sure I have an extra shiny for him so he doesn’t miss out. In return, I miss a lot of raids because I’m in an area that doesn’t have any nearby so he shoots me an invite when he can and we trade for some of the raid Pokémon I miss. The only downside to this arrangement is that it can be Stardust expensive really quick but worth it to get what you were missing. Because of the cost though, it’s definitely better to reach the “Best Friends” rank before you start trading!

My Nickit and Vulpix aren’t good enough friends to start trading yet, it seems.

That’s it! Do you have tips to share? Let me know in the comments. Until next time, happy hunting! ✨

[la5t-res0rt]

Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Why So Jaded? Chapter 5

FFN, AO3, Enjoy. 

Why So Jaded

Chapter 5

The next week, on Thursday, Buddy noticed there was a new delivery man that dropped off his various shipments and Buddy nearly cried tears of relief when he recognized him but Buddy did his best to act nonchalant and unaffected because the delivery guy was in fact, one of his oldest and most trusted friends, partners and colleagues- John Clairborne.

"Mr. Pine?" The new delivery guy greeted, acting like he didn't know him.

"Yes, that's me. And you are?" Buddy felt the need to ask.

"Jack Reacher. Sign here please sir." He offered and Buddy barely contained his amused reaction to that name.

"Yeah I know, you have no idea how many jabs I get." Jack offered good naturedly.

"Then I won't make any." Buddy insisted as he took the device to sign that had a special screen on it so that only when you were looking directly at it, would you be able to read what was on it as Buddy took it and then there was an infrared flash that was invisible to the naked human eye but it was for a secret camera on the device that positively ID'd Buddy before it flashed him a special screen that had super quick message for just a moment but Buddy had caught it before vanished and returned to the signature screen before he signed his name on the signature screen to receive the packages as usual, using Jack's pen that doubled as a stylus to do so.

"I really like your pen." Buddy praised as he recognized his own work, this had been one of those super secret spy pens that had all kinds of extra features and hidden devices. Buddy was impressed it had made it through security.

"Keep it sir, I have plenty." Jack grinned.

"Thanks." Buddy thanked him as he took the pen and simply placed it behind his ear like he usually did with his pencils.

"You're welcome. Have a good day sir." He wished him.

"You too Mr. Reacher." Buddy thanked him before Mr. Reacher left before he went about unpacking the boxes, careful not to cut the packing slips and collected all the slips and put them aside as he double checked what he got, doing everything he could to act as normal as possible and when he was done, he took the packing slips and put them in the folder he kept, just in case he needed to return anything and when he looked at these packing slips and the others, he saw it . Coded messages in the barcodes. How had he not seen those before and went through his owner's manual for one of the first pieces of equipment he had ordered and found the cipher because the message that flashed on the reader told him to. How had he not put it together before?

According to the hidden messages. There had already been three new "employees" at SEB Industries along with new "agents" that were infiltrating all these other companies. They were gathering what they could to make a counter case against SEB and were working on getting him out. The new employees with SEB were infiltrating the tech department and one had been sent as a new security guard and the other was simply working his way through the corporate side.

"Good evening Mr. Pine." Violet greeted as she came into the lab which nearly made Buddy jump in his skin as he realized what time it was, he had lost track of time deciphering the messages and hoped and prayed he wouldn't get caught.

"Good evening Ms. Parr." Buddy greeted back as he quickly got up and came over to her, the new pen tightly in his grasp.

"So, do you have anything outstanding you would like to report?" Violet asked per usual, a little disappointed he didn't have a snack ready for her but tried to keep that disappointment to herself because his little snacks had become an extra perk to her day. They would always tide her over till she could get dinner and Buddy actually kept his snacks relatively healthy if not very delicious which she always appreciated.

"Uh, nope, all my shipments came in, so I was just squaring those away, matching the shipments to the packing slips and tickets, making sure everything is all here and accounted for and I'm not missing anything." Buddy answered because that was the closest truth he could offer because he didn't trust himself to lie to her at the moment.

"Oh good. So we don't need to mail anything back?" She asked, realizing how seriously and meticulously kept things like that and he probably got caught up in that, and it was that- that was the reason he didn't have a snack ready for her.

"Nope, not this time." Buddy answered, knowing that from now on, his packing slips were going to be used as extra communication and he was going to try his hardest to make it as discreet, unassuming and secret as possible.

"Awesome. I'm glad everything was correct." Violet nodded as she went through her checklist and notes before she noticed Buddy was still holding the pen before she looked at it just a moment longer and realized it was new.

"New pen?" She asked.

"Uh yeah, the delivery driver had it, it writes really nice and I said something to him and he let me keep it." Buddy answered before he offered it to her and she took it and used it both as a stylus and a pen.

"Ooh, that does write really nicely, I can see why you would want to keep it. I wonder who the company used to make it. Because this is obviously a company pen." She said as she gave the company logo a dismissive glance but appreciated the pen itself and it's aesthetically clean and sleek appearance but surprisingly stylish.

"I don't know." Buddy shrugged.

"Well obviously if you're envying a delivery company's pens, your pens must be lacking then, I'll put in an order to get you decent pens." Violet noted.

"Oh, don't bother Ms. Parr, it's just a pen, you're looking too far into this." Buddy tried to discourage her casually because the last thing he wanted was for anyone, especially her to be tipped off about the recent developments, but he had to play this off convincingly.

"Mr. Pine. I too would like some really nice, decent pens so this is an excuse to get myself some decent pens too and one can never have too many writing utensils, at least in my office. I've misplaced my fair share of them and all the stylus' to the point I keep several extra ones in my top drawer. I'm notorious for it in fact. The next time you get a delivery, you could ask them where they got the pens if they know. If not, it's not the end of the world. But keep this one close and don't let me or anyone else steal it from you." Violet advised with a fond smile which brought a smile to Buddy's face in turn.

"You might as well just keep that one if it'll make you happy." Buddy offered, he was helpless against her charms and she wasn't even trying to charm him.

"No, this is your pen. The next time that delivery driver comes though, if you happen to get another one, I'll take that one." Violet compromised as she put it back into his hands.

"Or you can just have this one now," Buddy pointed out as he tried to offer it back.

"I'll take the next one besides I would still probably lose it between now and then- "I have spoken"." Violet good naturedly teased as she refused, putting her tablet down on the counter so she could use both of her hands to reach out and grab his and folded his own hand around the pen as Buddy savored the small, gentle touch. It was really nice.

"Ok fine." Buddy put the pen behind his ear before he put his hands up in defeat because arguing with her was pointless.

"By the way, next Wednesday we should return to Black Orchid for the first preliminary suit fitting. Mr. Nelson will be joining us and we will have Mr. Soche accompany us instead of Mr. Leland because again, the more of the security detail that get to know you and how you behave normally, and your 'twatwaffle protocol' the better. The last thing I need is for us to have an incident and have to defend you when half of the security doesn't know it or you." She began.

"Smart." Buddy praised.

"Thank you," Violet beamed.

"By the way, if someone yells ‘twatwaffle’ at you, what would your answer be?" Buddy felt the need to ask.

"Glitter nugget." Violet answered which got them both to laugh.

"That's...that's very fitting." Buddy appraised.

"Oh that's not as bad as Phillip's." Violet murmured lowly before Buddy could help himself, he sidled up next to her as he folded his elbows and leaned on the counter next to her.

"Tell me, tell me, tell me." Buddy begged.

"No, once anyone but myself and his security knows of it, it has to be changed for his security."

"Oh come on, who would I tell? I only ever talk to you and the doctors in the medical wing. Please, I need it to live!" Buddy pleaded as he playfully grabbed her arm and shook her a little which got Violet to giggle again. Oh what a melodious and perfect sound it was.

Then she caved so she reached up and whispered it into his ear which Buddy again, relished in the close contact before his eyes got wide when he heard it as he gasped softly but couldn't help the giggle that escaped him.

"No." Buddy breathed at her before she nodded and waggled her eyebrows at him.

"Well, if that will be all, have a good evening Mr. Pine." She said before she gave him a wink before she sauntered out of there.

"Good evening Ms. Parr." Buddy beamed back. Oh she had been in a really good playful mood today. He wished he could have tempted her to stay longer.

"Oh a snack." Buddy realized after she left and rubbed his hands over his face before he realized his mistake. He didn't make her a snack, that's why she looked disappointed at first, she could have stayed longer. Tomorrow though, he was going to create an awesome one before he went to his kitchen to see what he had and could make before the thought occurred to him of what he could make before he looked up recipes and put in a grocery order and looked at his watch to make sure Leslie or Dion would get it for him tonight so it could prep overnight. And sure enough by the time he had made himself dinner, his groceries were delivered to him by Dion at the door on the apartment side of the floor.

"Thank you Dion." Buddy thanked him as he got the groceries and went back to his kitchen to begin prepping what he needed because this particular snack would be a labor of love, but a labor he wouldn't mind making, especially if she liked it because she had told him about her preference to them before.

On Friday morning Violet walked in to the smell of the lab smelling divine.

"Good morning Mr. Pine." Violet greeted.

"Good morning Ms. Parr. I realize I didn't provide you with any sustenance last night. My apologies." Buddy offered as he offered her a plate of macarons.

"Where did you get these?" Violet gasped in delight as she readily took one from the plate.

"I made them. They didn't turn out perfect but hopefully they'll taste ok." Buddy offered.

"You made these?! Macarons are like, one of the hardest things anyone can make. They're a labor of love and test of patience. I've only tried to make them a handful of times and every time I've tried, I swore of baking for months at a time. But I'm not that great in the kitchen. Only because I'm rarely ever home long enough to cook half the time. So thank you very much. I love macarons. There's a pastry shop a few blocks over that knows me and my order by name that I get every Friday to start out my weekend with. They make this white chocolate raspberry one that is to die for. When we have our outing next week, I'll have us stop there so you can get it." Violet offered before she took one and bit into it and chewed thoughtfully.

"Ooh, strawberry vanilla, very nice." She praised as Buddy beamed happily that she could taste the flavors.

"Close enough." Buddy admitted.

"Like how close?"

"Strawberry champagne." Buddy revealed.

"Oooh, the champagne is subtle but now that you mention it, I taste it now. Very well done." Violet praised. "So how did you know how to make these?" She asked thoughtfully.

"Uh, it was Mirage's favorite dessert." Buddy had to admit but there was sadness in her eyes yet a smugness to Violet's grin as she felt some vindication that her hunch was right and was hoping Phillip was watching and listening but also hurt that when Buddy was with her, he was still imagining Mirage which she knew was probably for the best because that was the only way they could keep this up without Phillip getting too suspicious or keep herself from getting to close either.

"Well I'm grateful you've kept the skills up. These are delicious." Violet praised as she took a second one.

"Here, I made you some more because when you make them, you make a tray at a time." Buddy offered as he left and went to the fridge where he had kept the container with the extras, the best ones and handed it to her since she had eagerly followed him.

"Thank you." Violet thanked him as she readily took them before they went through their usual routine before Violet saw herself out and took her prize straight to Phillip's office. And once inside the elevator Violet let her head drop as she closed her eyes, the beginnings of tears stinging them before she pushed her hurt down.

All Buddy saw was Mirage, all Phillip saw was Invisigirl. Suddenly she felt like she was 14 again with Tony, being so invisible and no one really seeing her- for her. But it was for the best wasn't it? It would be easier to walk away from all this and all of them knowing that what everyone thought and saw- was never even close to the truth. It was better this way. That's all she needed to remind herself of. She needed to stay focused. But right now- she needed to be smug in her validation and vindication that her hunch was right. That's what Phillip would expect from her as she straightened up her posture and put on the façade once again.

"I told you." Violet practically sang as she strutted up to him and presented the macarons as proof.

"You did, you did. Bravo." Phillip congratulated her as he took a macaron and ate it, particularly proud of her for her performance.

The next day Mr. Reacher came back with another delivery.

"Hey, so my supervisor and liaison really liked the pen, is there anyway we can hook her up with some more or at least point her in the right direction to get more herself? Surely this place has website where she could order them off of right?" Buddy asked, hoping that wasn't too transparent for whoever was watching him but clear enough for Jack to understand.

"Sure, keep that one for her for now." Mr. Reacher nodded in understanding.

"Thanks. Also I have this to send out, I printed off my own return slip for it." Buddy offered a box that had a part that needed to be replaced.

"Of course Mr. Pine." He assured him.

On Monday Violet came in just as Mr. Reacher was dropping off Buddy's latest shipment.

"Mr. Reacher, this is my supervisor and liaison- Ms. Parr. she's the one who liked the pen." Buddy introduced.

"He said something to me on Saturday. I asked my boss about it this morning and he still had a business card for the company who makes them. He only got a few of the premium ones as part of an advertising promotion." Mr. Reacher revealed as he pulled the business card from his pocket and handed it over to her.

"Oh thank you so much! Yeah I really loved the way that pen wrote and the built in stylus is very convenient when you deal with electronics all day." Violet thanked him as she scanned the company card and the QR code on the back and it brought up the "company website" for her before she went through the catalog that had been put together before she placed an order right there on the spot.

"Thank you so much, you can have the card back, I got all I wanted and needed." Violet grinned happily.

"I'm glad I could be of service Ma'am. You both have a good day," He bid them before he took Buddy's own shipments and left.

"That was really nice of you to mention that to him. Thank you Mr. Pine." Violet thanked Buddy gratefully.

"You're welcome. Also he gave me this one Saturday for you. So you won't have to go without a good pen until the shipment comes in." Buddy nodded in turn as he handed the pen in question over to her. Grateful that it had worked and that he was at least, for now- above Violet's suspicion as Violet gasped with a wide bright smile.

"Aww thank you." Violet cooed as she eagerly took it from it.

On Wednesday at 9:15 Violet returned with Mr. Nelson and Mr. Soche and after going through the same protocol they returned to the Black Orchid for a suit fitting and Buddy was able to pull Violet aside as they looked over the new ties that had come in while they got some of the suits that had started to come together.

"Is there any way I can talk with you privately? Where we aren't getting listened to?" Buddy managed to breathe in a whisper in her ear as Violet gave him a look before she managed to pull a shirt that would look hideous on Buddy.

"Try this on. I dare you." Violet urged him with a giggle but a meaningful look all the same.

"Really? You want me to put on yellow? With my hair?" Buddy mock complained but did as she asked as she followed him to the dressing room.

"Ms. Parr, come on, have some mercy on my soul, don't make me come out like this." Buddy pleaded as he put it on and gave himself an unimpressed look in the mirror. He looked awful which got Violet to giggle evilly as she stepped to the other side of the door.

"Just let me see then." She urged him as she used the doors on the dressing rooms on both sides of his own to box them in before she put up a forcefield around them both.

"We got thirty seconds. What?" Violet demanded.

"About the macarons," Buddy began, keeping his voice to low murmur.

"Why do we need to talk privately about macarons?" Violet pressed, completely confused as she also hushed her voice.

"Because the look you gave me when I made them for you told me that something was wrong. I saw it in your eyes. Was it because I used to make them for Ta-Mirage?" Buddy asked in a hushed whisper.

"Do you think that I think that you remind me of her? Is that why? Do you think that I think that you're Mirage Jr or something?" Buddy asked, trying to keep his voice to a hushed whisper.

"You don't?" Violet asked as she tilted her head to the side.

"No of course not! She's her and you're you and completely different individual people. Sure there are some similarities but not enough to bring her to mind and I made you the macarons because I didn't have a snack for you the day before and I felt bad and I was hoping the macarons would be a nice way to make up for it because you told me that you liked macarons." Buddy confessed before Violet blinked in surprise.

"Oh, ok, fine, here's the deal, the only reason Mr. Sebastian is ok with these outings and me being your handler for these outings and the whole you making me food and stuff and our camaraderie is because he thinks that you think that I'm Mirage 2.0. Otherwise he is super jealous and possessive and controlling and I need these outings as a break from him. So if you could actually just drop her name from time to time, just like once or twice and "slip up" to keep him thinking that every once in a while, I would be forever grateful." Violet pleaded.

"Oh, yeah you got it." Buddy nodded.

"Thank you." Violet thanked him.

"Anything else?" Violet asked.

"No." Buddy shook his head no before she nodded dropped the forcefield and shut the doors quickly and quietly.

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad, let me see Mr. Pine, please?" Violet begged just as Mr. Nelson was coming back to check in on them to see Violet leaning against the wall casually on the opposite side of the wall that Buddy's dressing room was in.

"Mr. Pine is shy." Violet giggled to Mr. Nelson from her spot before Mr. Nelson nodded and retreated again.

"Come on, let me see." She giggled again as she tapped on the door with her foot before Buddy reopened it before Violet snickered a laugh because she honestly didn't notice what he had looked like just a moment before because all she focused on was his face.

"Oh my God, it does look atrocious on you. That shade of yellow isn't good for you or your complexion. Thank you for humoring me though." Violet thanked him.

"Well I'm happy I could be of some entertainment then." Buddy pretended to grump before his suits were brought into the dressing room from the back by Mr. Sudwar before Buddy practically ripped the shirt off of himself and barred his upper body in just a wife-beater undershirt and Violet was struck by how built Buddy was. She knew he was stocky, but to realize that he had some serious, frankly gorgeous sculpted muscle because in his apartment was a personal gym that he used quite often and by the way he worked out, Violet could tell that had been part of his routine before. And while he still had a bit of a paunch left, he was frankly built like an ox and strong as one too as Buddy noticed she was staring at him and was appreciating the view at least.

"Miss Parr?" Mr. Sudwar prompted which caused her to jump and break her out of her sudden lust filled daze.

"Oh, Mr. Sudwar, the suits, yes, he's ready to try them on. Uh, let me just take that and put it back." She practically ripped the shirt out of Buddy's hands and the hanger off the wall as her cheeks stained cherry.

"Are you alright Ms. Parr?" Mr. Sudwar asked.

"Yes I'm fine, I'm fine, Mr. Pine is fine, he's fine, I'm fine, we're fine, we're fine, I need to stop saying fine, thank you." Violet quickly stuttered and stammered as she just blushed harder and quickly tried to get the shirt back on the hanger and get it back to where it was in the shop as Mr. Nelson and Mr. Soche tried their best not to laugh at her clearly flustered state.

"You ok?" Mr. Nelson asked Violet as he came to stand next to her.

"Yeah, I just got caught staring indecently at the asset. Damn it his wife-beater was showing off those guns." Violet confessed in a harsh whisper to him.

"You and arms." Mr. Nelson teased.

"Shut up. This is so embarrassing." Violet complained as she managed to get the shirt hung back up before she covered her face with her hands.

"Well I mean, I've seen your dad…" Mr. Nelson continued with a knowing grin and a playful nudge to Violet's shoulder.

"Don't! Don't you dare go there! And this incident will never be known by anyone else for as long as we all shall live." Violet harshly whispered yelled at him with a dirty glare.

"You're the boss, boss." Mr. Nelson simply grinned as he put his hands up in defeat.

"Yes I am." Violet confirmed as she took a deep cleansing breath.

"Hey Ms. Parr?" Buddy called out before Violet turned on her heel and went back to the dressing room and tried to slip back into her cool composure.

"Yes Mr. Pine?" Violet asked calmly, doing her best to be professional again.

"Why are these suits so heavy?" Buddy asked as Violet took a deep breath before she turned to Mr. Sudwar.

"Is Mr. Sanchez still in the building?" She asked.

"Yes." Mr. Sudwar confirmed.

"Can you get him for me please?" She requested.

"Of course." Mr. Sudwar nodded as he left and a few moments later Benny came out, looking like just another tailor.

"Mr. Pine, meet Mr. Sanchez. Mr. Sanchez, meet Mr. Pine, can you please explain what you've done to Mr. Pine's suits that would cause them to be heavier than normal and why?" She requested.

"Of course. Each piece of the suit, the jacket, vest and pants are lined with Kalsix, it's a special fabric that will deflect anything from bullets, to a knife to a missile. It's fireproof and resistant to most flammable liquids and other corrosive liquids as well, you can pour battery acid on it and it won't melt and because of the properties of the fabric- if you get tazed- it'll lesson the tazing because it'll absorb most of the electrical current. It's the best secret armor you can wear and it will protect you when she can't or even they can't." Mr. Sanchez announced as he nodded to Violet and then to the body guards.

"The only thing is that it's not that breathable, elastic or light. But it will keep you safe when you’re out in the open in public and possibly exposed to a threat." Violet admitted to Buddy.

"Oh, well, thank you." Buddy graciously thanked him.

"Don't thank me, thank her. She's the one who insisted on it." Mr. Sanchez nodded towards Violet.

"Thank you, that'll be all." Violet thanked him.

"No problem, I gotta get back to work." Benny excused himself.

"Job done right?" Buddy guessed as Violet nodded again.

"Exactly." Violet nodded and smiled appreciatively.

After the fitting, they stopped for lunch again before Violet had them go to the Merry Cherry Bakery where they had a whole section just for macarons.

"Ms. Parr, this is a surprise, you usually come on Fridays." Mable noted.

"I know, I was needing an extra fix this week, I also brought in a friend from work, this is Mr. Pine who also shares my love of macarons, and I of course told him that this was one of the best places to find the most amazing macarons." Violet praised as Buddy looked over the selection appreciatively.

"Ooh, they have cheese crowns." Buddy realized.

"Get whatever your heart desires Mr. Pine, my treat. Guys, same goes for you, get whatever you want." Violet offered to Mr. Nelson and Mr. Soche.

"Sweet." Mr. Soche grinned before he placed his order before Mr. Nelson did and then Buddy practically got one of every kind of macaron and along with his own personal preferences as Violet made sure to make mental notes of what Buddy liked and preferred for future reference.

A week before they had to leave for Vegas, they returned once again to the Black Orchid for a final suit check and Buddy really loved what he found in the mirror, especially when Violet came to stand beside him to check the fit herself, making sure he could move freely and comfortably in them and to feel Violet run her hands over his body was frankly heaven for Buddy. Plus they looked really good together, although if Buddy was honest, it was Violet who could make anyone and everyone look good just by standing beside them and Violet had them go back to Vers for another 'man spa day' to make sure Buddy would look and feel his best and even went and got special luggage.

"Ok, I gotta know, not that I'm complaining, but why the massages and spa treatments?" Buddy asked once they got back to his apartment as she was once again helping him put things away.

"You're an important and valuable asset to SEB, and it is currently my responsibility to make sure that you perform at the most successful rate possible. And burn out, touch starvation and lack of enrichment and the like are hindrances to your performance and we can't have that can we Mr. Pine?" Violet explained. Knowing that was the 'right answer' but again the sweet sadness she portrayed in her eyes made Buddy's heart begin to feel uncomfortably constricted as his look soon mirrored hers which in turn made Violet feel so awful and guilty for giving him that answer.

"I just...I don't want you getting touch starved. I've been there and it sucks and mentally it can push anyone into reading too much into simple, kind, and genuinely platonic gestures and make them see more meaning than is there. And the way I see it, you're a compulsory guest. Might as well make your stay as comfortable as I can because we're still just two birds in side by side gilded cages. If I can share a toy or two, then I will, if it means that you'll stay in it and won't try to break out of it every chance you get and the more you can stand and bear the confinement, the better for all of us. And if you break out, I have to hunt you down, it's my job, it's actually written in my contract that 'any asset rented or owned or otherwise by SEB Industries that is lost or stolen must be retrieved or destroyed'." Violet quoted.

"And I don't want to do that. Because when I hunt, I hunt to kill, I have to. And I don't…" Violet began as she mentally chided herself for her eyes getting glassy and Buddy was awestruck that she didn't want to kill him, that she actually cared enough and was attached enough to not want to harm him, but instead help him all the ways she could.

Violet took a sharp inhale through her nose to clear it and blinked the glassiness to her eyes away and damning herself for being so transparent but at least- hopefully- Phillip was watching this and thinking that she was just emotionally manipulating Buddy again. That would be her only saving grace.

"Hunting is a hassle and I don't want the hassle. So take pity on me and don't force my hand to do it Mr. Pine." Violet said, while her tone was forced to be light and teasing, her eyes were still sincere in their pleading with him and Buddy didn't trust his voice not to break with emotion if he tried to talk so he just nodded in understanding and agreement.

"Thank you. Good night Mr. Pine." Violet offered.

"Good night Ms. Parr." Buddy managed to get out before Violet saw herself out.

"Bravo." Phillip clapped dramatically when she returned to his office which got Violet to laugh, albeit, a bit mirthlessly.

"I was ready to promise to never run away. The way you play him and pull on every heart string is just...marvelous. You're the best, you need an Emmy." Phillip praised.

"Oh stop, you're being dramatic and embarrassing me. But, there's a reason I'm the best there is and why you pay me so much." Violet could only point out, forcing her smugness.

"What am I going to do with out you My Dear?" Phillip cooed as he enveloped her into her embrace.

"You're going to be just fine. Whoever takes my post after I leave will handle you perfectly well." Violet assured him.

"What if I don't want anyone but you to handle me?" Philip proposed as he started swaying in place as he managed to get her tablet out of her hand and start dancing with her in his office, hoping that was romantic enough for her.

"Phillip, you know I'm still under a contract with you. And while I'm cool with friends with benefits- any more than that is too dangerous, especially for you. Because I already have a big enough target on my back just being a Super, but being your handler is an even bigger one and being your romantic partner would be an even bigger one than that. Now don't get me wrong, I do thoroughly enjoy being your handler and full time babysitter." Violet teased which got Phillip to chuckle and hum before he couldn't help but kiss her and was happy she at least kissed him back.

"But everyone knows I'm important to you. If I would be your handler and your romantic partner. There's no telling what could happen, and you already have enough enemies as do I, we can't risk combining them, at least not right now. I don't want anyone to use me against you or to get to you or harm you or anything like that. That and you know as well as I do that while I'm still under contract, The Agency can pull me out at any time without anyone's say so, even my own. They can still come in here and drag me out kicking and screaming. I'm still Invisigirl for the next two years and that contract is iron clad. You know it is, because you were the one to help draw it up and the only thing harder than your contracts is perhaps maybe this." Violet managed to purr as she stroked his manhood suggestively, already feeling it harden beneath her touch, even though she was far from feeling romantic herself.

"And you shouldn't have to wait on anyone, let alone me. Because while I'm a great agent and Super and handler, I'm a shitty girlfriend and would make an even worse wife because all the things that make me awesome in the former make me lousy in the latter. It's just the way it is and it's the trade off. But it's one I gladly and happily do. If you want a girlfriend that badly, get one of your ballerina/model types. They'll look better with you anyway and they're more suited to you than I am." Violet insisted. Already having had this conversation many times before and getting sick and tired of having it but she couldn't let Phillip know that.

"Fine, for now, but the second your contract is up, be prepared to be wooed." Phillip playfully warned her.

"Woo all you want, it would still be up to me to decide to accept or not. Besides, who knows, you may even grow bored with me before then or you'll find the love of your life by then too. All we have is right now, let's just enjoy it and not spoil it." Violet urged him.

"If you insist." Phillip caved, but he was far from deterred. If anything he was even more firmly set in his belief that she was the one for him. And it would just be a matter of making her see it.

Meanwhile a new mole finally made his way into the surveillance department and he set up piggybacks on all the feeds to all the cameras. And while SEB security was top of the line, the mole's was still one step ahead while another team made it's way to Violet's apartment.

"Sir, her place is already bugged, like beyond what the CIA and FBI do, any more bugs in here and I'll have to call an exterminator. You can practically hear every neighbor piss in here. She's already under very heavy surveillance. Do you want us to piggy back these feeds too?" A henchman reported.

"Yes." Came the reply and after the piggybacks were put in place, they then traced the feeds back to the data banks it was all stored on and then the hunt began to find anything and everything they could. Useful or not.

[salmonthestoryteller]

Maria & Being a Caretaker

I actually already made a post about Maria regarding Mimi's illness back during season 1. But I feel like, even though I commented on it briefly in that post, I should have expanded on the full effect this has on Maria's life. On how this story isn’t just told when she is in scenes with Mimi, but throughout the whole series. Spoilers for season 2 ahead.

We aren't sure yet when Mimi's illness started, but we know it's been going on for years. We know from her conversation with Liz that she has taken her mother to multiple doctors, and nobody has given her a diagnosis. Clearly, at some point Mimi recognized how bad things were getting and let Maria take over running the Wild Pony. However, Maria also admits to Liz that her finances are pretty much in shambles despite owning the bar. That's why she also works as a bartender for tips and does her psychic readings. Because she's struggling financially under the weight of the medical bills.  It has nothing to do with the bar itself - Maria owns a local’s bar that dates pre-1947 in a town full of cowboys and military men.  The bar itself isn’t having financial issues - Maria is because the medical bills have stacked up over the years as she tried to find out what was happening with her mother.

Unsurprising. Even if Mimi had insurance, the constant testing would rack up thousands of dollars of bills, and Mimi didn't go through testing once - Maria took her to multiple doctors. Over the years, they've probably easily gotten tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt from that alone. And if Maria took her to a doctor out of her insurance network because she was hoping to get a better result - something quite likely - they would have taken on the full brunt of that bill out of pocket.

Combined with the financial situation is the fact that her mother has a habit of wandering off and returning to The Wild Pony.  And that's the thing, Maria isn't a Caretaker just when she's with Mimi. She is a Caretaker 24/7. She has to worry about her - is she remembering to eat, did she wander off again, does she remember what year it is and will be able to tell someone who finds her to take her to Maria? Or does she think Maria is a child because she thinks it's 1997?

There is no time in this scenario for her to be going out partying, or hanging out with friends, or going on dates.

Maria is the sole provider for her mother. We are introduced to no other family members who can look after her for a bit so Maria can have a break. She has shouldered this burden alone - and that can be extremely isolating. After a while, if you always say you can't go? People stop asking. Let alone trying to explain the situation on a date. Sorry, I have to go - my Mom just wandered into my bar and I have to go pick her up. We can try again next Friday? Yeah, probably wasn't happening. I wouldn’t be surprised if this very thing was what led to her break up with the one previous relationship she mentioned to Liz - the Chad.

When Liz convinces her to go out hunting for Rosa's old hiding places - that's probably the first time Maria has been able to spend with a friend doing something fun in a very long time.  Notice that it’s only after Maria decided to place Mimi in a home - no matter how shattered doing so leaves her - when you finally see her daring to go somewhere.  That’s realistic.  She could never leave town before - not with Mimi randomly wandering off.  So her going to Texas, hoping for a cure, is probably the first time she's left Roswell in years. And then you see her do something else she’s never done earlier in the season - just attend an event without working.  Even at the reunion, she had a psychic booth set up, but when she attends the Gala, she’s actually just there to have fun.

That makes it particularly painful to me that she wasn’t even told she’d been drugged by the group.  (Something that could have been pinned on an unknown human culprit)  This was her first time out to just enjoy herself in forever, and she thinks she humiliated herself.   Then, on top of that, her reprieve is short-lived.  Mimi has taken to wandering from the nursing home as well. On a regular basis.

So a home that Maria is probably spending somewhere between 7-9k for a month out of pocket to take care of her mother, has done little to ease her mind.  She's back to square one - only with an extra 7-9k bill.

And, honestly, nothing about this is unrealistic to me. Homes here in America are notoriously understaffed. Mimi has no physical ailments and no medical diagnosis. The home knows her daughter lives in town and that Mimi usually goes to her - they probably wouldn't be overly worried about her in this situation.

I've known two kinds of staff at these homes - ones that I will treasure forever for the care they gave someone I loved. And ones I've wanted to punch in the nose. I find the scene with Maria on the phone with the home frustrating on a very personal level, but I also find it realistic. They probably don't have the staff or resources to send someone out to fetch Mimi constantly and so have ended up relying on Maria to bring her back instead.

Then her mother disappears for over a month and that is her worst fears come to life. She now has to come up with the money for a private investigator because nobody seems to be taking her mother's situation seriously. Something that also is realistic. Mimi is an adult, and has no official medical record that says anything is wrong with her. There are probably many people in Maria's own community who believe exactly what some of the doctors suggested to Maria before - that Mimi is faking the whole thing.

Maria's story is tangled with Mimi's because she is her Caretaker, but that doesn't make the story less about Maria. We have been shown her frustration, her hope, her despair; her fear. She has talked about the struggle of her financial situation, and we’ve been shown how she has little in her life outside of work and the person whose care she is responsible for. She has talked about the frustration of dealing with people who will not take her mother's undiagnosed illness seriously, and we have been shown that with how she personally had to take on looking for her mother even when she did disappear.

These things are a reality for many people.  And seeing that story, their story, told is important. Though Mimi's illness is obviously being weaved into the sci-fi aspects of the story, I am very grateful for every second they've spent telling Maria's Caretaker arc properly. It's a story worth telling, and I look forward to seeing where it goes.

[dalekofchaos]

What if Qui-Gon Jinn lived and trained Anakin?

Much like my what if Mace trained Anakin post, I will be doing it for if Qui-Gon trained Anakin.

First of all, let’s say Qui-Gon did not allow Maul to bump him with the hilt of his lightsaber. Qui-Gon successfully manages to cut Maul in two much like Obi-Wan did on Rebels.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan rejoice as the Sith Lord has been vanquished. Qui-Gon knows this isn’t over as the master is still out there.

Obi-Wan will be knighted and Qui-Gon will be allowed to train Anakin despite the Council’s warning.(fuck Yoda tbh)

It's obviously speculation, but I'm going to say that Qui-Gon would have managed to keep Anakin from falling to the Dark Side.

Anakin's core problem was that he wasn't a good fit for the Jedi Code. Anakin was a very passionate person, and he wasn't able to suppress his emotions and remain detached. Despite the teachings of Orthodox Jedi doctrine, it's not true that all emotion leads to the Dark Side - positive emotions such as love and joy belong to the Light. If Anakin could have been taught to sublimate his emotions rather than suppress them, he would have been able to handle his anger and anxieties issue much better. Moreover, if he hadn't felt like he needed to hide his marriage to Padme, he would have been able to go to the other Jedi with his concerns, rather than to Palpatine.

Unfortunately, the prequel-era Jedi Order had become rigid, dogmatic, and arrogant. They were absolutely certain that their way to the Light was the only way, and they kept try to force Anakin to follow a path that he just wasn't suited for. It took twenty years and two civil wars before Anakin was finally able to follow his passions to the Light.

Qui-Gon was known as a maverick Jedi, and I always got the impression that if anyone in the Order could have taught Anakin how to handle his emotions, it was him. Qui-Gon was very much a pragmatic, in-the-moment sort of person, who wouldn't let detachment blind him to the realities in front of him, and the reality was that Anakin simply couldn't do it the Jedi way.

Regarding Anakin’s training. I believe Qui-Gon is the only one who could have saved Anakin from the dark side.

Qui-Gon Jinn was notoriously known as a maverick Jedi. His own master, Count Dooku, was also known to buck commonplace trends of the Jedi Order. Jinn frequently challenged the status quo of the Jedi High Council and was a consummate student of the Living Force.

He did not subscribe to all of the notions within the Jedi Code and sought to find his own answers instead of merely accepting what he was given by his High Council masters.

It was his challenging mindset that ultimately precluded Qui-Gon from becoming a member of the High Council and considering how things eventually developed for the Jedi, being totally decimated by one of their very own, perhaps Qui-Gon Jinn’s ”outside-of-the-box” way of thinking could have prevented that devastation.

In the comic Star Wars: Age of Republic:Qui-Gon Jinn, it showed that Qui-Gon placed his faith in the force over that in the council. The Jedi Master's doubts and true intentions are finally explained. Qui-Gon didn't fail to notice the Dark Side boiling up inside of Anakin Skywalker: he believed that darkness was exactly what was needed to bring balance to The Force. Showing once and for all that Anakin could have brought peace to the galaxy... if Qui-Gon Jinn had trained him. But for all their talk of "balance" the Jedi Order of the Star Wars movies had grown rigid in their prejudice. And in the pages of Star Wars: Age of Republic: Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi's crisis of faith long before The Phantom Menace is finally shown. Not to overstate it, but Qui-Gon seems to realize what no other member of the Jedi Council is noticing: that they have lost their vision. And to get his back, he leaps blindly into hyperspace with only The Force to guide him, and accepts the lesson it has to teach him. On an alien world teaming with both life and deadly, "dark" growth, Qui-Gon communes with The Force. Sensing both the life-giving Force and the darkness to balance it, he awakens from his vision to see that the darkness has been driven back. Light triumphed over it, returning true "balance, but through a means beyond conflict." The lesson sticks, and Qui-Gon returns to the Order keeping this knowledge to himself. The Jedi believe the Dark Side to be resisted by any means necessary... but only in the face of darkness can light restore the balance. A principle that clearly occupies Qui-Gon's mind when discovering a small slave boy on a planet called Tatooine. The lesson taught by The Force was clear, so when he, of all possible Jedi, happened across a boy conceivably born of The Force itself, Qui-Gon knew it was no accident. As he tells the Jedi Council in Episode 1, "It was the will of The Force, if that I have no doubt."

Qui-Gon and The Council believe in two different things when it came to “Bring balance to the force”. For the Council, it means The Force has produced a champion to vanquish the darkness, leaving only the light. While Qui-Gon's encounter with The Force has shown "balance" to be the acceptance of darkness, so that light might overcome it. The Council senses the potential for the Dark Side in Anakin, and views it as a threat. Qui-Gon would have sensed the same, but understand Anakin's potential for darkness was the entire point of The Force's lesson (and by extension, the prophecy).

Qui-Gon saw the problem with the Jedi. They stopped serving the force and only served the will of The Republic. Qui-Gon expresses that very concern to Master Yoda (who, despite his wisdom, fails to consider it). After a rescued dignitary wonders why Qui-Gon didn't let his blade do the talking, he realizes just how far the Jedi Order has strayed from their intended mission. Qui-Gon argues that "our actions are a reflection of our purpose." That years spent enforcing have made the Jedi think like enforcers, until even Yoda can not see the danger Qui-Gon does before them: that "violence sows the seeds of the Dark Side. Unchecked, the Jedi could become that which we fight against." Stay blind to this reality too long and it would be possible for the Jedi to, say, march into the office of the democratically appointed head of the Republic to kill him in the name of defeating darkness - giving even a good man reason to think that from his point of view, "it is the Jedi who are lost."

The comic makes it clear that Qui-Gon kept his newfound understanding of The Force and the Dark Side to himself, raising the fact that the Jedi must remain more flexible and open to changing beliefs than their ancient enemies, the Sith. But after meeting resistance from his own Jedi Master, concluding the chat by conceding to Yoda's (Sith-like) absolutes concerning the Dark Side. Just in case anyone needed a bit more proof that Qui-Gon Jinn was the only Jedi who could possibly have understood how to train and educate Anakin in the truth of his power. And, let's not forget, fulfill his destiny as the One to restore balance to the galaxy "through a means beyond conflict."  At least, that's assuming The Force really did create him, imbue him with both light and darkness, and drop him into the lap of the one Jedi Master who could help him truly restore balance, knowing his darkness was to be understood, not branded as bad, wrong, flawed, and to be ignored until it consumed him. Now the only question to consider is how much Darth Sidious may have sensed the will of The Force himself, sending his apprentice Darth Maul to kill Qui-Gon before he could serve his purpose. The death of Qui-Gon Jinn was always heartbreaking for fans, but will be doubly tragic, now that Star Wars fans know The Forces hopes for Anakin Skywalker died along with him.

If Qui-Gon had lived to train Anakin himself, that lesson would almost certainly have proven true. Because by that point, even Qui-Gon had come to realize what Anakin eventually would: that the Jedi had lost their way.

Let’s talk about the Legend of Qui-Gon Jinn. I’ll hit some key points, but you should read his Wookiepedia page sometime. He’s one of the characters that’s filled out more in the Legends material than the movie itself, so there’s quite a few points you might not be aware of:

Apprentice of Dooku, great swordsman, and holdout believer in the philosophy of the Living Force

One of those unfortunate Jedi Masters, along with Mace Windu, who has trained a Padawan that lost it and went Dark

Recognized and reputed for his abilities to teach and train

Trained two Jedi, including one that was arguably too old to be a Padawan anymore (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

Loved another Jedi—A blind Noorian by the name of Tahl who was Head Archivist—but they agreed to decline acting on it despite mutual feelings

Suffered from visions of Tahl’s potential death, just before she goes on a mission and disappears for 3 weeks…

Eventually gets sent after her, finds her captive, and witnesses her death…narrowly too late to save her.

Slips into depression, then almost loses it in rage and desire for revenge…

Sensing a pattern yet? Qui-Gon is just about the only Jedi in the universe that could hear EVERYTHING Anakin went through and honestly say “I understand, and I know how you feel”

Whereas most of the Jedi just tell Anakin his life will be better if he lets go, Qui-Gon would have concrete advice for him and could sympathetically say he’s been through the same situations. They would have bonded over Anakin’s worst emotional moments. They could have had honest conversations about how nebulous those feelings were. Qui-Gon could help the younger boy sort those feelings out and get to the core values behind them. And he’d have been able to help Anakin make the right choices while he was calm, rather than having the wrong choices leak out of him under stress.

He might have also warned Anakin about the possibility of dreams being self-fulfilling prophecies… but also Qui-Gon would’ve given Anakin the idea that doing something about it (other than letting go) is a valid option. When Ahsoka was troubled by the possibility to losing someone close to hear, Yoda tells her meditate on it. with Anakin, it’s all about the dark side. Qui-Gon would’ve heard him out and who knows, Qui-Gon and Anakin would’ve saved Shmi together if Anakin had Qui-Gon to confide in.

Beyond that, I think learning the Living Force would have been important for Anakin, because his natural personality fit its tenants better than the Unifying Force view of the other Jedi:

All living things are connected, and we should be mindful of how we impact one another

“Mom, you said that the biggest problem in the universe is no one helps each other.” — Anakin, in The Phantom Menace

“Why do I have the sense that we’ve picked up another pathetic life form?” — Obi-Wan Kenobi in The Phantom Menace, clearly not thinking like his Master or Anakin does

Qui-Gon is noted in the Legends as constantly annoying people — including his Master Dooku as a Padawan—with his convictions about saving other living creatures from bad situations. So Obi-Wan’s comment wasn’t just referencing Jar-Jar…

Live in the moment, rather than focusing on the future. Be mindful of the future and consequences, but remain focused on the present.

Anakin often worried about the future too much, particularly with his dreams. Even having someone there that could urge him to think about what he could do now, might have helped him calm down.

Rely on your instincts

Skywalker was always instinctive, and it shows in how he pilots. He can learn the controls to almost anything in 5 minutes tops, and he can intuit what’s wrong or off about a machine and adjust for it. Likewise, he’s the same in physical combat — an instinctive natural with a blade. Anytime he stops thinking and just goes, he’s good…

Obi-Wan often tried to get Anakin to avoid acting on his instincts and follow a plan. He called on Anakin to think coherently, and to focus on strategy…Anakin never really took to it very well, and frequently charged in, falling back on instinct when he was stressed.

Qui-Gon would instead have tried to get Anakin to hone his instincts. Double down on your ability to use your senses and listen to them…learn to assess the situation in front of you fully, so that you don’t miss details. Then, be the best YOU can be, and stop worrying about everything else.

Qui-Gon was a Jedi experienced with a Padawan going astray, so he would no doubt have been sober and measured in his approach to training Anakin. But, he lived his life with compassion as a major tenet, so he would have done everything in his power to hear the boy out and not have him feel alone. He also is unafraid to disagree with the Council, so he’d stand up for the boy when he thought the approach they wanted to take was not a good one. Qui-Gon would have been a great influence on Anakin, leading him to believe that you can both disagree with the Council AND still have respect for them.

That, and Anakin’s trust in him, lead me to think he might have confided in QG about some things that he instead took to Palpatine. Can you imagine how differently things go if Anakin talks to Qui-Gon about Padme? In my mind, I see a big scene after Attack of the Clones, where Qui-Gon helps Anakin sort through his needs and wants, and perhaps urges him to leave the Jedi Order and go have his family.

What exactly does Anakin need to be a Jedi for at that point? Go be Lost Jedi #21, and live a happy life. Or, if you still want to fight, take a moment and decide what’s the best path forward for your family. One honest conversation here might have helped Anakin come to some convictions, rather than spinning in a confusing downward spiral later on. He would have felt much less cornered and confused in most of his situations, had he had a father figure in his corner that understood the way he thought and felt about things.

Also, having a few more Living Force thinkers might have helped them realize that the only person who really had anything to gain from both the Naboo Invasion and the Clone Wars WAS Palpatine…he could have garnered much more suspicion early on. Qui-Gon might have noticed how much the Jedi Order was shifting in the midst of the war, and would have actively fought to bring that to people’s attention and urge the Council to do something about it in a productive way.

Look at how much Qui-Gon’s existence messed up Palpatine’s plans in The Phantom Menace. I am firmly convinced that Qui-Gon’s continued existence would have been a major threat to the rest of Palpatine’s plans. He knew how the other Jedi thought. He apparently didn’t have the same read on the sort of tactics Qui-Gon used. Chances are, Palpatine would have to orchestrate a situation to specifically take him out of the picture, or watch large swaths of his plan get foiled.

Now since we take this all into account, let’s go into what would change in canon

Qui-Gon would train Anakin in the Lightsaber Form IV Ataru and Anakin would master it beautifully

Anakin and Obi-Wan would become friends throughout Anakin’s training. 

Qui-Gon and Anakin would’ve saved Shmi from the Tusken Raiders as Qui-Gon would’ve wanted to enact on Anakin’s visions, The Council be damned

Qui-Gon would have complete faith in Anakin protecting Padme, while Qui-Gon would seek the aid of Obi-Wan in investigating Kamino

Qui-Gon would confront his old master, Dooku

As they reach Geonosis, I do believe Qui-Gon would send Obi-Wan back to contact Anakin and The Council about his and Qui-Gon’s findings

Qui-Gon would be captured in Obi-Wan’s place

Qui-Gon would be confronted of his old master, Dooku. He is in disbelief that his master turned to the dark side and tried to have Padme assassinated. He rejects his offer of joining him and the Separatists.

Because of Qui-Gon’s training, Anakin is more calm and less headstrong. Together they would take Dooku. Dooku knows the fight will turn in the Jedi’s favor, so he attacks Anakin’s weak points and uses that against Qui-Gon. So then we have Dooku and Yoda’s fight which remains the same.

As The Clone Wars rages on, Ahsoka would become Obi-Wan’s apprentice

Anakin and Ahsoka would be close friends

Qui-Gon would be trying to stop the war, he would be much like the Padme of the Jedi Order

Qui-Gon would be spending the majority of The Clone Wars to getting to the bottom of the source of The Clone Wars, while helping Anakin

Qui-Gon and Padme are pretty much Palpatine’s biggest thorns in his side, they are fucking his plans up left and right. 

With Qui-Gon by his side, Anakin would not lose his cool against Clovis

Both Qui-Gon and Anakin would believe Ahsoka, when Obi-Wan and the Council have abandoned her

What happened to Ahsoka and Barris betrayal showed Qui-Gon that this war has gone too far and the Jedi have betrayed themselves. He goes to Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme. With the truth. Palpatine is Darth SIdious, the very man behind everything. He tells them all we must expose him in front of the Senate and “Execute Order 65″ while on Kamino, Qui-Gon learned all there is to know of the contingency orders. And knows this is the only way to bring the Sith down. "In the event of either (i) a majority in the Senate declaring the Supreme Commander (Chancellor) to be unfit to issue orders, or (ii) the Security Council declaring him or her to be unfit to issue orders, and an authenticated order being received by the GAR, commanders shall be authorized to detain the Supreme Commander, with lethal force if necessary, and command of the GAR shall fall to the acting Chancellor until a successor is appointed or alternative authority identified as outlined in Section 6 (iv)."

By ROTS, Anakin and Qui-Gon would faced with Dooku, while Obi-Wan goes to find Grievous. As Anakin cuts his hands off, Qui-Gon wakes up and thanks to his teachings, Anakin would not execute Dooku. Anakin does not see the value of executing the leader of the Separatists and the information he could tell. Qui-Gon would tell how proud he is of his padawan. 

Obi-Wan would’ve killed Grievous on the Invisible Hand. 

At this point Palpatine is shaking in his boots. Qui-Gon Jinn is still alive and dangerously close to exposing the truth. General Grievous is dead. Dooku is held captive. 

This is the plan of Qui-Gon Jinn. Expose Palpatine to the public. He knows the Jedi confronting him directly would be turned against them, the Jedi would be on high alert and be watching for any type of assassin or bounty hunter. Dooku tells the truth to all. Dooku declares “my lord, you have lost” “no, no no YOU HAVE LOST” Palpatine states before executing Dooku with force lightning. Anakin, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Yoda and Mace rush to face Palpatine. As they face the Sith Lord, Padme broadcasts this to every Clone. “Execute Order 65.” Every Clone Trooper would be ordered to arrest or kill Palpatine. Any clone who dares to approach Palpatine is disintegrated by Palpatine’s Force Lightning. In the end it is Anakin and Rex who kill the Sith Lord. The war is over. Balance has been brought to the force and the Empire is over before it can begin

The Council is reformed. They finally see their ways have blinded them and embrace Qui-Gon and Anakin’s way of thinking. They see the value of attachments and admit they were wrong about Anakin

Qui-Gon is at peace knowing he helped train the chosen one and brought balance to the force. Anakin is allowed to have a family and be granted the rank of master. He lives in bliss knowing his visions never came to pass. Luke and Leia are born. The Clone army have disbanded and are allowed a life beyond duty. Padme has become Chancellor of the Republic and will usher in an era of peace and freedom for the Galaxy.  

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 24: MJ doesn’t even consider raising the alarm in ANY way

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Last time I put to bed why MJ wouldn’t rely upon defeating Beck herself. In this part though I will dissect MJ’s decision to not alert anyone else to Mysterio’s threat.

In Part 20 I dived into many of MJ’s combat experiences and observed that in many/most of them she relied upon assistance from third parties (including Spider-Man).

With this in mind MJ’s failure to alert anyone to the presence of Beck or other current villains is extremely dangerous and irresponsible. She knows her limits from the years she’s dealt with her life being endangered and how often her survival depended upon the help of others. And she has incredibly flimsy reasons to place any trust in Beck, let alone his villainous crewmembers that haven’t got his sob story.

She doesn’t call the police, Spider-Man, her friends in the super hero community nor the (very nearby) West Coast Avenges.

One could argue that there could be perfectly reasonable explanations for why she fails to do this.

Bringing the authorities in could cause the villains to attack , take hostages or slip away once they are alerted. And in Beck’s case he could use his trickery to escape. As for Peter, bringing him in could endanger his career prospects couldn’t it?

I already shot down the latter idea back in part 18. But to expand upon it a bit, by alerting the regular or super human authorities Mary Jane would never have to worry about risking Peter’s well being at all. He’d likely hear about it after the fact, and maybe be upset that she didn’t tell him about Mysterio. But honestly that’s a small price to pay for the greater good and is something that could be pretty easily smoothed over between them. Sooner or later Peter would  get over MJ not talking to him if she explained she did it out of concern for him.

As for the regular authorities, MJ could simply inform them of whom they were dealing with and advise them to not go in guns blazing. That’d hopefully give them recourse to properly prepare for who they were dealing with, either by employing weapons designed to deal with super humans or by conducting an undercover investigation of some kind.

And of course they could call in super human assistance themselves. Indeed there is no reason MJ couldn’t contact the regular and super hero authorities.

The super human authorities like the Avengers would have the technology and fire power to deal with Beck. Most of the West Coast Avengers alone are out of his league and in the case of Hawkeye have advanced experience with organizations like SHIELD that would entail stealth. Even if they needed proof Beck was in disguise Reed Richards and Iron Man could likely whip up something to see through Beck’s illusions. They have the technology to see past Skrull impersonators I think he can handle some smoke and mirrors.

But let’s say that’s not the case. Let’s say it’s not fair to bring in canon from beyond the Spider-Man line of titles for our analysis. Or let’s say Mysterio’s technology is really that good, which is arguably proved by his fake alien invasion from ASM v5 #1.

We’d be in a position where the heroes would need to gather proof before they could strike. Well putting aside how many of them are capable of stealth/under cover work and know what they are looking for, couldn’t they simply take one or more of Beck’s crew members (criminal or otherwise) and interrogate them? Are all  of them so tight lipped that they would never give up Beck? That’s highly unlikely.

And then of course you have the simple fact that Mary Jane knows where the real Cage McKnight is!

Surely the realisation that there are two individuals who seem to be the same person is just cause to at least arrest Beck on the suspicion of identity theft/impersonation?*

In fact they could use the real McKnight to lay a trap for Beck by learning private information that only he would know and then engineering a scenario with Beck in the hopes of him contradicting this information, obviously whilst they record it.

But MJ doesn’t pay any mind to the real Cage McKnight once she’s told where he is. She doesn’t even consider asking the authorities to check Mysterio’s claims check out! She trusts the word and ‘evidence’ of a man who is notorious for making you see and hear whatever he wants!

And all that aside there are still other options the authorities could take.

Why couldn’t they just shut down the film’s production on some made up excuse and secretly investigate the set and crew?

Why couldn’t they shut down production or arrest ‘McKnight’ due to his illegal  employment of criminals?

Why couldn’t they go in gun’s blazing but also prepared to quickly subdue the criminals?

Why couldn’t they reveal they know Beck is McKnight prompting him to run and set a trap for him?

Why couldn’t they at least keep an eye on the production and be ready to leap into action in case anything goes down?

Frankly, given how some of MJ’s super hero friends are just straight up vigilantes and they trust her couldn’t they bend the law and simply ‘abduct’ Beck as McKnight knowing for a fact he’s broken/breaking many, many laws? I mean let’s be real here, Spider-Man has committed breaking and entering many times in the course of his career and whilst that’s awful from a real world POV, in context it’s been for the greater good and we readers understand that because we know the stakes.

Of course the counter argument to all of these is that Beck could’ve just planned for all of them. He could’ve planned a contingency for anyone snooping around McKnight. He could’ve planned a contingency to the authorities closing in on him.

And you know that wouldn’t be at all out of character for him. But it isn’t at all hinted at in AMJ #1, nor that MJ even considers it as a possibility.

And therein lies the problem. He could have done all that preparation…but has he? Does Mary Jane think  he might’ve?

The story never talks about that.

You know what else the story doesn’t talk about?

The idea that Beck might be monitoring MJ or that she suspects he might be monitoring her.

That’s another thing that’d be very in character for him. Not only has he got a contingency in place in case anyone comes snooping around or rumbles him but he also has a contingency in place to prevent or at least alert himself to anyone revealing hi secrets.

But this idea is also never even hinted at in the story whatsoever.

This is where we loop all the way back around to what I spoke about in part 2.

The idea that MJ’s failure to alert anyone is the result of her suspecting he’s monitoring her (or has contingencies in place) is a No. Prize attempt. It’s headcanon. It could arguably  fill-in a hole in the story but why is that hole there at all?**

AMJ #1 is the first issue. It’s the set up for the premise. Ideally it should put all the pieces on the board that are going to play a role in the story going forward (obviously this can include red herrings) and present the relevant motivations for the story going forward. This means the specifics of why Mary Jane (the lead character) does what she does should be clearly conveyed.

If MJ isn’t alerting the authorities because she is concerned about being monitored, of them being harmed, of bystanders being harmed or of any of the crooks slipping away then the story should at least hint at that if not be explicit about it.***

And you wanna know the real kicker?

It’s extremely debatable if MJ would even refrain from alerting the authorities about Mysterio even if she did suspect Beck had planned for that. If she suspects he is monitoring her she could use her ingenuity to sneak off set and then use a different phone to contact help. Or if that’s not a possibility she is smart enough to figure out a way to contact help without Beck knowing. She could talk to Peter in code. Or contact the Look Ups, the support group for super hero’s loved ones. ASM v5 #29 established they have a local branch in L.A.

And honestly, as heroic a soul as MJ is it Is incredibly unbelievable that she wouldn’t simply alert the authorities even if she had no way of ensuring her own safety.

Am I saying MJ would give her life to save others?

Yes.

Yes that is exactly what I am saying.

Her feats of bravery in part 20 are proof of that as is her respect for Peter’s role as a hero. I’m not saying she wouldn’t take a desperate or calculated risk to save herself (see ASM Ann #19 from part 20). If there are other options beyond noble self-sacrifice, however slim, it’s not immoral to go for those options. But at the end of the day MJ would put the lives of innocent civilians before her own life. 

Even her lack of action if she believes Beck has put contingencies in place is highly debatable. It’d depend upon what those contingencies might be. If they would come into action against other people (like the innocent crewmembers) then I could see her not doing anything. But if Mysterio is just going to fly the coop then, as bad as letting him get away might be, it’s better than allowing him to stick around and continue to commit crimes against the real McKnight, the movie studios and potentially civilians. And at least it’d hopefully result in the criminal crewmembers facing justice.

However you slice it MJ has options in this premise.

Leah Williams simply doesn’t address them whatsoever and makes MJ look just awful as a result.

Look, I’m not  trying to say Mary Jane should just be the damsel-in-distress, the poor little woman waiting patiently and docile for the big strong men to come and fix her problems for her.

What I am saying is that MJ is basically an unarmed person with limited knowledge of firearms casually hanging around armed and dangerous criminals (in a populated area) and she’s simply presuming they won’t do anything wrong at all. And she’s presuming that if they did she would be more than a match for them.

What I am saying is she knows she has limits. And she knows those limits do not reliably encompass this situation. They at best offer 50/50 odds on MJ ensuring the safety of herself, civilians, their properties, Cage McKnight, his career.

Those are downright irresponsible odds to undertake.

Mary Jane has no right to risk innocent people’s lives like that whatsoever.

And just like the unarmed person in the above analogy she should contact help!

And with that we are finally finished with the dissection of AMJ #1’s premise and can now move onto issue #2.

*Surely that could also convince any regular law enforcement that might doubt her story. It’s entirely possible that Beck could rely upon sexism and/or stereotypes of the ‘prima donna actress’ to delegitimize MJ’s claims to the police.

But her knowledge of the real Cage McKnight would vastly improve her legitimacy.

Not that she’d need to. She has Avengers who’d vouch for her to regular law enforcement and she could just ask them for help anyway.

**This also applies to just about any headcanon you could come up with for anything in the issue. MJ’s actions could be explained away by lingering grief from Flash’s death or a desire to assert her independence rather than be saved by a third party. Doesn’t matter though, not if there is nothing in the issue to support those ideas.

***This isn’t a 1-to-1 comparison I admit but it’s a lot like defences I’ve seen of Star Wars: the Last Jedi, specifically Admiral Holdo’s motivations.

The context is the good guys are being chased down by the bad guys and when questioned Holdo (the leader of the latter) remains tight lipped about there being any kind of escape plan.

Why is she tight lipped?

Well you see it’s because she was concerned about the presence of spies…according to several fan theories.

And that’s the key. It’s just a theory. The film provides literally no explanation whatsoever, not even a hint.

Whether that’s a logical explanation or not, it is not one supported by the text of the film.

The same applies in AMJ #1.

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[precuredaily]

Precure Day 157

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 09 - “Precure is Exposed!?” Date watched: 19 October 2019 Original air date: 1 April 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/1yYupZl Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

five girls are friends, more on page 2

In the Futari wa seasons, people typically fell unconscious whenever evil was around, and the girls didn’t usually have to worry about being discovered. There was that notable exception in FW14, but it’s been largely glossed over. In this show, though, the activities of the Precures and Nightmare have attracted attention (in fact that’s how Karen and Komachi got involved), and the sudden and kind of unusual friendship between the girls has not gone unnoticed. What’s a nosy reporter to do?

The Plot

The girls find themselves as the subject of several headlining articles in the school newspaper, commenting on everything from their eating habits to their mysterious friendship. The paper’s editor introduces herself and her slogan: “What the people want to know, I want to know!” She gives her name as Masuko Mika, but puns it into “Masukomi-ka” which is shorthand for mass communications.

When the girls can’t give her straight answers about why they’re friends, she decides to further investigate. After school one day, she sees them leaving the school with Mr. Cocoda, but he disappears suddenly. She follows the group to Natts House, where Coco and Nuts are hanging out as fairies, so there appears to be nobody tending the store. She’s still suspicious as she leaves the shop, when she runs into Arachnea, believing her to be the shop owner. Arachnea kidnaps her due to her relationship with the girls, planning to use her as collateral to get the Dream Collet. They chase the villain into an empty department store, but the girls are afraid to transform in front of Mika and give away their identities. Undeterred, Mika tries to question Arachnea and get a picture of her.

Annoyed, Arachnea transforms the camera into a Kowaina. Mika finds an opening to escape her grip, and the girls transform when she’s not looking. She watches them fight and defeat the monster, rescuing her camera, and she tries to interview them afterwards but all they say is that they’re called Pretty Cure, and then they disappear. Mika heads back to Natts Shop, confident that something bizarre is going on and the five girls are involved, but she runs into Nuts in his human form. She asks if he saw the girls go by, and he responds simply that there are some things she shouldn’t know. Mika is taken aback by his attractiveness and quickly agrees.

The next day at school, the girls are nervously expecting a story about them in the newspaper, but instead, the headlining article and most of the front page are taken up with pictures of Nuts, described as a “super hottie”, with only a small, pictureless blurb about “five mysterious girls” at the very bottom of the page. Their secret is safe.... for now.

The Analysis

Since this episode is about Mika, my response to it pretty much reflects my thoughts on her. Masuko Mika is a fun character. Her desire to find out the truth is commendable, and she does ask some good questions, but her methods are a little misguided. She rides the line between investigative journalist and paparazzo, sneaking candid pictures of her targets in order to get a scoop. Unfortunately, these photos are mostly of our heroines engaging in such compromising activities as “having lunch” and “hanging out.” Even Otaka is like “Why don’t you find something else to write about?” She is a curious character. Snooping around Natts House gets her kidnapped by Arachnea but even then she tries to question the villain up until the moment she sees she’s in over her head. She is so committed to figuring out why Nozomi and the others are hanging out, and who Precure are, and then..... she sees Nuts. Nuts suggests she forget everything and so he becomes her muse, the subject of almost all her writing. Precure and the mysterious occurrences at the school are relegated to a small corner of the paper. It’s good for the team, but it doesn’t speak too highly of the paper’s journalistic quality or her diligence as the chief. (Honestly though, I don’t recall ever seeing any other members of the newspaper club in this show, it is entirely possible it’s just her running a glorified gossip rag.) Mika says that she writes about what the people want to know, and I guess that’s true: Nuts will prove to be a very popular figure at this all-girls school, but it’s funny/a little frustrating to see her so easily distracted. However, this will not be her last appearance, not by a long shot, and she’s fondly remembered.

I would be remiss to ignore, however, that Mika has a point. Nozomi has surrounded herself with an unlikely group of high-profile friends, but while Precure was certainly a big factor in them coming together, it wasn’t just that, and someone could probably spin a version of events while leaving out their secret identities. Nozomi and Rin were already friends before the show started and we know they go back to their youth. Nozomi became friends with Urara when she saw her sitting alone all the time and decided to talk to her. Karen and Komachi are a little more complicated, because they only began speaking when Nozomi decided they should become Precures, but nonetheless Nozomi took a genuine interest in Komachi’s writing and in Karen’s overall well-being. She supported and sympathized with them, and earned their respect and companionship as a result. Being Precures isn’t the only thing that brings them all together, they’re actually friends, and I’m glad the show spent the time that it did establishing this. Unfortunately, Nozomi’s people skills don’t put her in the same league of notoriety as the others, which results in Mika and many others wondering what these school superstars are doing with her. I don’t think outsiders ever fully recognize Nozomi’s strength of character throughout the series.

This episode is another worldbuilding episode, much like episode 7 was and like episode 10 will be. There isn’t much going on with Nightmare, just the usual threats that failure to get the Dream Collet will be met with some form of punishment. Since the bad guys only win on key episodes, and this isn’t the type of show where they make progress towards their goal whether they win or not, it’s starting to feel a little repetitive. It just serves to show how disorganized Nightmare really is, though. Later on, we’ll see how far they take the business concept, it isn’t always Bunbee smugly threatening his employees, while being smugly threatened himself by Kawarino, but that’s a lot of the early part of the show.

There is some truly bad art in this episode. Most times that the girls are shown in full body where they occupy about two-thirds of the frame height or less, they go wildly off model.

The faces get extremely sloppy, with their eyes usually being stretched vertically while their other features are minimized. Nozomi’s hair especially gets drawn as more prominent than it normally is. Their bodies seem kind of elongated, but aside from a lack of shading they’re otherwise fine. Also, there are shots where someone’s movement is just the cell sliding across the frame, not even being moved up or down to indicate the slight bob of walking. I’ll get some gifs to demonstrate shortly. It’s not awful overall, but there is definitely a hint that it’s a less important episode.

Last point of note, Pretty Cure Splash Subs, whose translations were the basis of both Splash Star and this series (the versions I’m using anyway), were a little notorious for sticking some modern jokes, references, and sayings into their scripts, such as “you mad bro” and “a cat is fine too.” Well, this episode gave us this:

I generally don’t like meme translations, because memes and internet jokes come and go pretty fast and they can date a show hardcore. That being said, if this saying was around at the time, it’s exactly the sort of thing a contemporary kid would say. I looked it up the history  of “POIDH” and it was just starting to spread at this point, so it’s arguably appropriate. (but I still hate it) Obviously this isn’t a criticism of the series itself, and I’m not going to let it impact my perception, but I do find it a bit annoying that this (and several examples yet to come) made it in at all.

Next time, we get to focus on someone a little closer to home, as Nuts discovers that running a shop is hard when you don’t have any customers. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 Kettei!

[itsamiraculous]

Miraculer- A Look in on Future Episodes.

Miraculer was awesome! but I feel it was slightly overshadowed by the release of Timetagger with Bunnix. 

Don’t get me wrong! That is just as awesome also but I have things I want to say.

Miraculer follows the same plot line as Antibug. Literally. I’m sure people drew many parallels from the fact that Sabrina was akumatized again, having her and Chloe play as Chat and Ladybug and Chloe falling out with Ladybug, but there is so much more. Despite living through a previous episode again, there is a reason, and it also gives us (what I believe), a stark look in to what we can expect in the future. 

I think I will go through Miraculer and draw the parallels to Antibug and go from there.

Sabrina akumatized, one of the better ones I would argue. As Vanisher (invisible) and also as Miraculer. Of course Vanisher had a weakness; she was tangible.

Chloe and Sabrina having a falling out. Literally the same thing. Chloe takes things out on Sabrina, because she has no one else to take things out on other than herself (hurts anyone close to her. Mommy issues).

Ladybug keeping Chloe out of the loop because she is trying to protect her and other people. In Antibug, it was also Marinette holding a grudge against her and we have clearly seen that develop (i.e. Despair Bear etc). 

Chloe just wants to help and she hates being cast out. It’s what Style Queen and Queen Wasp was about. She wanted people to notice that she is extraordinary. I would argue that she wants to grow up, but she doesn’t know how. Chloe is notorious for not caring about the consequences, to other people, but when it comes to matters with Ladybug, she won’t care. I think it’s possibly because she is grateful of Ladybug saving her, but also because Chloe wants to be better.

Chat being a prompt for Ladybug to trust Chloe. Chloe was needed.

From here on out I will just mention things from both Antibug, Miraculer and other things because I think it's important.

So obviously we only saw one half of Antibug play out again, but we are left with the same premise for the other half; Chloe’s withering devotion towards ladybug.

But Chloe was upset about it. For the end of Miraculer we don't see it, only what she expressed on the surface with being defensive. It wasn't until we see Hawkmoth that she's angry and then starts crying and gets akumatized. This is what I'm slightly expecting from future episodes. The lead on from Miraculer ending up to be the loveater episodes most likely.

Again reference to one of Ladynoir turning bad. Both by Chloe being anti-bug (Heroes Day and other episodes such as Sandboy with LB being bad) and Chat going across to that side (Chat Blanc and other S1 eps like Dark Cupid with Chat being bad).

The Antibug sword comes up a lot; Sandboy, Chris Master etc. You get the picture. It is just to reference Antibug. It's a huge episode. It tells you a lot about Chloe’s story, but also Ladynoir's and clearly is used as a plot device.

It’s also fun to see the difference between how nicely Marinette treats Chloe now. She has seen the other side to Chloe and now actually wishes to see her grow. It’s really interesting. Especially when you see one of the scenes with the Superhero group, minus Sabrina. It’s a nice foreshadow in what it could look like in the future; masks on or not. Alya and Nino taking no BS from Chloe, Marinette and Chloe being able to breathe the same air. You know, all that good stuff.

It’s also interesting looking at things with Ladynoir as well. You see Ladybug noping at every advance from Chat, but it changes after she comes back from de-transforming. I think it’s because of what Tikki says; sometimes you need to listen to others. Ladybug in S1 doesn’t always listen to Chat, she comes across as arrogant, this is why we see in Antibug Chloe saying “You’re nothing without Cat Noir” and also Ladybug’s speech(es) of her and Chat being an unstoppable team, and that they work together. Also showing us Chat’s loyalty. Totally think when Marinette is saving Chat, that its key. It’s a change. In fact it’s the change. Glaciator. Marinette/Ladybug see the different side to Chat, it changes her perspective, hence why we get Tikki saying about taking other people’s advice, doing things differently and listening. After that we see Ladybug listen to Chat about where the Akuma is (Chat being observational too, working as a team and communicating better) and then proceeds to tease him!!! That is no coincidence that it happens like that. It basically shows you the change from Ladybug not seeing Chat, to now seeing him. Hence why we are suddenly getting all those smiles and sudden puns and freaking Stormy Weather 2 to show all the changes. 

Funny we get the two pigeons as well, quite interesting after seeing Timetagger. 

Miraculer, also reminded me how Marinette is the only one who doesn’t train...

Okay, arguably Adrien does and doesn’t- he does fencing, but he seems very agile without powers. Chloe we know has danced for years, Frighteningale proved that she is flexible and agile etc. Then we see Alya and Nino training together on the pier. Holy Moly that was cute. Ladynoir or Adrienette reincarnation of that scene pleeeaaaseeeeeee.

But yeah, Marinette just... doesn’t. It’s a shame because honestly.

Chloe was excellent when she went after Mayura, and also when she mentally fought off Hawkmoth. She is incredible in Miraculer. She almost took off the brooch, and she has a strong mentality in order for her not to be swayed, except of course she doesn’t fully accept what Ladybug is saying, believing that Ladybug doesn’t want to give her a proper chance. I think Marinette/Ladybug needed to word it differently, or maybe it just be them two instead of the whole team standing around. 

Secret Identities also coming back more and more. Honestly, everything in these two episodes makes me think it is laying the groundwork for Chat Blanc. I was talking with a friend and we decided it must be to do with Chat still being in the dark from everything with Master Fu. It is like Chloe’s situation; feeling like they are being left in the dark. There is also the temptation of trying to get the other to become corrupt, but they are too loyal to Ladybug. Which is why it’s hard to know what is going to happen to make Chat/Adrien go against Ladybug unless it is to do with his family situation. I don’t think it will be Ladybug’s rejection. It doesn’t fit exactly. The themes that always come up with Chat and Ladybug is her rejection or Chat feeling useless or being left in the dark. It is the exact same as Chloe. I’m wondering if Chat Blanc is actually Chat Noir Akumatized, because I honestly can’t comprehend it happening. They can make the description seem like something completely different.

Copycat comes back in both episodes “That little copycat” “Quit being a copycat”. Copycat also has a funny link. Alya says “Think of it this way. No more secrets” in response to Marinette accidentally telling Adrien. Something that Adrien was doing as Chat- explaining his feelings to LB. Not directly to Miraculer per ce, but a theme throughout that does kinda link

Something bad happening to Chat as well, concerning his own cataclysm. That’s going to be prominent one day. It also effected Plagg though, which means if he’s not careful it can damage his miraculous, like it does with Bunnix, as we are told, but that alters the timeline(????)... surely. Possibly is a hint at why/how the Peacock miraculous is damaged...

So other little things...

Ladybug more concerned over Chat, You saw her Gasp and watch him just before Chloe came in. 

As Heroes gain more allies, so do the villains. Seeing those two networks is just purely awesome.

Honestly thought Ladybug was going to do a pound it with Chloe, it would have made a difference instead of just holding out her hand for the miraculous.

Miraculer could summon the powers more than once. That’s always been a thing with most of Hawkmoth’s villains, but we know it’s now possible for proper miraculous holders to have that same power, as Hawkmoth can do it. It’s different from Antibug where Chloe has the exact same powers, only evil. All we know is that it can’t be possible for two or more at once yet.  Hawkmoth needed Catalyst to do that.

Even Hawkmoth says “We’ve set the stage for the future” 

Marinette is actually trying to be friends with Chloe... and Chloe was super close to seeing through Lila. 

List of Episodes Miraculer references: Every episode (more or less) that the Antibug sword has been used in, Every episode that has Chloe’s development (Zombizou, Despair bear! Queen’s Battle trilogy etc), Copycat, Antibug (of course), Gigantitan, Sandboy, Glaciator, Heroes Day. 

So much is going down.

Sorry if this is too long for some people. I thought of so much more, but I’ll do another post for it. I’m trying my best to cut everything down. 

[rgr-pop]

i haven’t read the surrogacy book (i actually do intend to, because of all of this!) and it is absolutely fanning the natalist* flames, that’s true. and it’s doing so partially on purpose, it is making a provocation to be provocative! there’s a lot more context there, though. for one, we’re in the middle of a nu social reproduction revival, and i see this book as part of that literature, and timely. but it is also timely politically, and i do imagine (hope?) that lewis has observed this sort of new wave of biologic nationalism--i’m sure she had finished the book by the time n*gle published the borders article, but thinkers savvier than i must have seen that coming, given the state of borders and population paranoia around the white globe. plus, i assume (again: hope?) this book in some ways addresses some of the creeping terrors of alienation (”atomization”) that are leading to this: n*gle for example writes a book arguing that atomization (the disruption of the family) incubated this new global right. it is obviously time for the left to be reading and writing books against the family.

i have been very surprised that it is the “against the family” part of the surrogacy book that has been so controversial everywhere, and all across the left. it seems like that critique should be familiar to absolutely everyone, fundamental even. the kind of technocratic claims (cannot assess until i read!) should, to me, have been the ones that people were freaking out about--and those are the ones that are transparently experimental and probably inflammatory. (and those kinds of arguments have a much different position in the feminist canon, but, again, cannot assess until i read.) but what’s actually happening is “parenting is labor, in fact productive labor in capitalism, including the labor of labor” is fucking tearing everyone apart, from anarchists to dsa caucuses to podcast accellerationists and, most of all, everyone in the strasserite wars. they are losing their fucking MINDS. they saw “abolish the family” and leaped off their fucking roofs. absolute fuckin hysteria.

but ALC is another thing entirely. imo she is your average (absolutely dead average except for being basically bari weiss) wealthy liberal. she’s not a leftist of any stripe, even though she occasionally speaks about or on behalf of them on her twitter. so she contributes some “against the family” tweets, but they are not “against the family,” they are actually just... well, everyone is acccusing her of just doing therapy, which kind of is what it is. she asked what the point of parents were, and somehow none of her weird liz warren philospher fans or any of the enraged were like “a social relation?” instead they were like “your life has sad. family is BIOLOGY and DESTINY” and of course her response was “you think that your parents love you, but they don’t.” this is as far as comp lit will get you, my friends. in any case, everyone seems to agree that good parents or bad parents is a “lottery” or perhaps some kind of inherited “brain worm,” as the kids these days are saying. none of them said: maybe there are reasons that our mothers can’t support us? (silly me! if mothers need supporting, then we must ban abortions, so that we can reward pregnant women with welfare! bruenig welfare.)

my point here being that ALC was being deliberately inflammatory--and, okay, she’s big Not a Genius, again, that’s the best you can hope for a rich comp lit grad--and, it worked, in that, again, the natalists are saying “they are coming for our FAMILIES.” they already hate (and maybe hatefollow) her because she is like an obnoxious comp lit liberal on twitter who everyone hates, and also because a lot of these people (obvs) love to hate trans women (although this trend isn’t nearly as easy to predict in this milieu as I would have thought. much like regular t*rfs themselves, they are all the hell over the place.) (in that screenshot i posted, the OP is one of aimee’s reply girls, and the person who responded to her is some kind of leftist european who also posts a lot about the trans threat. an anti-trans activist? in MY “it’s biology actually”?). 

none of this is new for ALC. for those of you who haven’t heard of her, she somewhat notoriously wrote, well, this. i don’t want to be flat-out mean about this part, but if i’m being honest, the way i interpret her career is that she was handed a pedigree that allows her to sell sanitized summaries of twenty-year-old intra-community trans issues to NPR tote bags. (the mean part is I truly think she believes she has conjured her own ideas at some point in her life. she hasn’t.) I think she was being deliberately inflammatory but I’m not even entirely convinced that she mounted this “conversation” in light of the aforementioned conversations; not sure she has the range. (she definitely does not have the range to be a cryptofascist!) but, still, “parenting is labor that operates a way in capitalism” is absolutely outside of her vision! not to bolster the “she’s just trying to make us therapize her” argument, which I find mostly annoying, it does seem, like, true, that this is a much harder thing to understand if you are rich. and I don’t yet know how to explain it in a way that raises the consciousness of the wealthier!** you DON’T have to love your rich mom, but it would be nice not to see “mothers are a social problem, the problem is mothers” from people who went to duke or wellesley u know

*henceforth this is how i refer to all the “left” organizing around the issue of population & the family who are elsewhere cyberbullied as “cryptofascist”

**wait, maybe I do! “social reproduction”

[letterboxd]

Family.

“We’re trying to say: stop thinking about Manson as the embodiment of all evil. If he got a record deal, maybe nobody would have died.”

Jack Moulton talks cults, Trump and noise-cancelling headphones with American actress and screenwriter Guinevere Turner. Charlie Says is her latest film with frequent collaborator, Canadian director Mary Harron.

Of the serial-killer films currently in release, Charlie Says is the one that puts a strong focus on the women who often remain in the background of these retellings. Leslie Van Houten (Hannah Murray), Patricia Krenwinkel (Sosie Bacon), and Susan Atkins (Marianne Rendón)—the three women who killed for Charles Manson (Matt Smith)—are imprisoned in isolation in a California penitentiary, as well as psychologically imprisoned by Manson’s delusional ideas.

Then graduate student Karlene Faith (Merritt Wever) is given the job of rehabilitating the young women—as long as they are prepared to confront the horrors of their actions.

Turner co-wrote the 90s urban indie lesbian feature Go Fish directed by Rose Troche, which preceded her meeting with Harron. Charlie Says is their most recent collaboration, having partnered previously on American Psycho and The Notorious Bettie Page.

What interested you in writing a film about Charles Manson? Guinevere Turner: When the producers met with me they said they wanted to focus on the women as we definitely never got a sense of a story told from their perspective before. Once I found Karlene Faith’s book The Long Prison Journey of Leslie Van Houten [Faith’s study of the rehabilitation process and elongated incarceration of the three Manson Family girls], I saw a whole side of the story that literally never gets represented.

I got very excited that I could make a good movie out of this and it would also be an interesting commentary on what it says about society that we always treated these women like they’re interchangeable. Nobody’s ever asked “what happened to them?”, “what made them do what they did?” and more importantly “why did we stop talking about them?”. We never stopped talking to Charlie! There was a real opportunity to talk about men and women, who and when we pay attention to historically.

Did you get the chance to work with Karlene Faith in person before she passed away [in May 2017]? Yes, she was fantastic. It took a while to persuade her into talking to me at first. I slowly gained her trust via email, then we would talk on the phone, and eventually I would be visiting her apartment in Vancouver and we became friends. For about two years we were as thick as thieves.

Her book was obviously a huge resource but she was also useful for research as she was a woman of that time. She gave me a great visual, listening to her activist life outside of prison. When she met the girls for the first time she had all these assumptions that they were gonna be freaky psycho-killers and she was blown away by how sweet they were. She was immediately turned by them and she wanted to help them.

What were some of the unexpected realities of living in a cult environment that you wanted to portray? So I grew up in a cult environment as you probably knew so I assume that’s why you ask that question. [Ms. Turner spent the first eleven years of her life as part of the Lyman Family. They were devotees of Mel Lyman who believed he and his commune members would eventually live on the planet Venus. Though parted from her mother after birth, she and her younger sister were ejected from the Family when her mother eventually decided to leave. Ms. Turner considered returning at eighteen but chose to go to college instead.]

Yes, I read the article in The New Yorker. For me, I was excited to bring this knowledge in my DNA of what it’s really like living in that environment to represent both the good and the bad parts. You have those semi-orgy scenes and people doing acid, but also scenes where everyone is sitting around for dinner. That grounds it a little more. At the end of the day, it is a family—albeit an infamously weird one—but it is a bunch of people trying to live together.

While there’s the “everyday” quality to it I also wanted to show the volatility. It can be beautifully tranquil one moment and then turn on the dime into something scary and destabilizing. I feel like those things were true of my childhood. Mary Harron heard me talking about my upbringing for decades and she would always say “you should write about it”. I didn’t want to write about it specifically, but when I found this movie I thought I could bring something personal to the project that no other screenwriter could.

We’re curious about how you like to write. What music do you listen to while you work and are there any films you used as inspiration? I can’t listen to anything when I’m writing. I have noise-cancelling headphones that don’t cancel noise enough. I could live in an actual sensory deprivation tank while I write and I would be so happy, but unfortunately you can’t bring computers underwater. So, no music.

I watched a lot of movies of the era, especially unconventional movies about Jesus such as Jesus Christ Superstar (1973). Those were interesting aesthetically.

There’s a shot in the movie where they’re walking up the side of this mountain and I just loved that iconography. We were short for time on the day and I pleaded with Mary to make it happen. It made me so happy that it became one of the images they use for the promotion of the film. It does feel like this biblical journey and we were trying to capture that vibe.

What do you do to ensure the female gaze is considered from the script? I find a lot of that is intuitive. For example in this script, there has to be nudity but you notice that every time someone is naked in this movie it’s really uncomfortable. That’s one thing in terms of subverting male gaze, is that there’s no way that any person could see those scenes as objectifying the body for more than a nanosecond because of what’s happening.

It’s all about power, so I like that it’s portrayed as being uneasy. Even when Matt Smith is naked, Charlie is exerting power over someone else and she’s repulsed by him. That’s one of my favorite scenes in the movie.

How does your acting background feed into the way you write your characters? I think because I’m an actor I deeply feel the reality of what’s available for the average female actor to play. There’s tons of “someone’s girlfriend” and all the tropes, so for me when I’m writing I’m asking myself what about this is going to make an actor say “yes please, let me play that part!”.

I need to present something complex and challenging that they don’t often see. As someone who’s auditioned for many characters that I thought were poorly written, I try and give even the small parts something that will make an actor excited to play them.

What makes your creative partnership with Mary Harron work so well? It’s funny because we’ve never really asked ourselves that. Of course in the last week we’ve been asked that a lot while we’re in the same room and we look at each other like confused animals going “why does it work?”.

We realize that we have a similar sense of humor so we laugh a lot even while we’re writing all this dark stuff. The main factor is that we really trust each other. One of the hardest things about collaborating is that you’re not sure if someone is shooting down your idea because it doesn’t work or they’re jealous that it’s good. You need to trust that you can test stupid ideas with them.

When we first met in 1996 [shortly after Harron’s directing debut I Shot Andy Warhol and Turner’s writing debut Go Fish] we immediately had an affinity for each other and started writing together. It was as easy the first time we tried it as it is now. There’s not even much of an evolution. I feel really lucky for that because as a screenwriter it certainly means I have a lot more access to the movie than usual because the director is always checking in with me.

Despite all of the bleakness, it’s clear in the film that these women just wanted to be loved. There’s such a deep sympathy for them. What interests you about the line of responsibility for those influenced by dangerous charismatic leaders? I’d say everything about that interests me.

I’m drawing parallels to politics today such as the alt-right people that Trump influences, for example. We’re seeing echoes where people are mindlessly following a person who is validating evil, dangerous, and disgusting ideas. For these women I had to constantly remind myself that they did commit these horrible crimes.

I feel like Charles Manson and Donald Trump are apples and oranges except for the fact that they strike me as people where their only real fuel is power and that half the time they don’t know what they’re doing or saying, they’re just terrified of losing it. They almost have no internal life. They just feel when they have the power and when the power may be taken away and what they do to keep it makes people do terrible things. It’s like an addiction.

Matt Smith as Charles Manson in ‘Charlie Says’.

I’m sure you’re painfully aware that we have four Charles Manson films coming out in a short space of time. There’s Tate, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, though I’m certain Charlie Says was conceived before all of these. How do you feel about being a part of this cycle? I started writing the movie in 2014 and most of the time movies are made two years later but that’s not how it worked out for various logistical reasons. So on the one hand, I cringe that it’s the 50th anniversary [of Sharon Tate’s murder] and that’s when our movie’s coming out—it feels tacky but it’s definitely not on purpose.

Which seems to be very deliberate on Tarantino’s part… But the way independent films work is that you try and get them made until you get them produced. You don’t have these luxuries of when exactly they’re going to come out. That said, we have landed in a zeitgeist moment which is nice in terms of people paying attention to the movie. I don’t know much about Once Upon a Time in Hollywood but I’m sure Tarantino has a radically different approach from ours.

While they share some similarities, your depiction of Charles Manson doesn’t work in quite the same way as American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman. How did you decide the ways you wanted to humanize Manson? I think the first thing that’s similar between how we portrayed these two characters is that while they’re these powerful frightening people, we’re demystifying them and grounding them in an essential pathetic loserness. Mary and I don’t talk about how we can make another movie that takes down toxic masculinity, that’s just where we end up sometimes.

With American Psycho the stakes of social responsibility were different. We were asking people to put your baggage with the book away, we’re women making this, and we are trying to turn it into something that’s a critique of masculinity in a funny and dark way.

For Charlie Says we’re trying to say: stop thinking about Manson as the embodiment of all evil. We want to stop giving him that power and show that he was a conman who was just a failed musician. If he got a record deal, maybe nobody would have died.

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in ‘American Psycho’ (2000).

I have to say, American Psycho holds up really well for the Trump era. One could argue that it works better now than when it came out.

How do you respond to the way you’ve already satirized these sociopaths in power and how that affected the increasing appreciation for the film over the years? It’s gratifying, because [American Psycho] was not particularly well loved when it came out. That’s disheartening when you work hard on a project that you think is more worthy. That said, it being more relevant now is terrifying. I watched the movie again recently and there’s a little part of you that cringes when we make Trump jokes because Donald Trump was a different kind of funny at the time.

‘Charlie Says’ is in US cinemas now, and available on VOD and digital from May 17.

[maddie-grove]

Bi-Monthly Reading Round-Up: May/June

PLAYLIST

“How Do You Do” by Mouth and MacNeal (Once Ghosted, Twice Shy)

“Up the Wolves” by the Mountain Goats (Don’t You Dare Read This, Mrs. Dunphrey)

“The Daughters” by Little Big Town (Lady Rogue)

“9 to 5″ by Dolly Parton (Lady Notorious)

“Let the Little Girl Dance” by Billy Bland (What a Wallflower Wants)

“Poison Arrow” by ABC (Give Me Your Hand)

“Marie-Jeanne” by Joe Dassin (Never Mind)

“Mississippi” by the Dixie Chicks (An Unconditional Freedom)

“Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind (Bad News)

“Honky Cat” by Elton John (Simple Jess)

“A Weekend in the Country” from A Little Night Music (Some Hope)

“Picture Book” by the Kinks (Mother’s Milk)

“A Place in the Sun” by Stevie Wonder (At Last)

“She’s in Love with the Boy” by Trisha Yearwood (A Dance with Danger)

“Little Hollywood Girl” by the Everly Brothers (Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood)

BEST OF THE BI-MONTH

An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019): Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England, had his faith in justice and certainty in the world shattered when he was abducted and sold into slavery. Now rescued, he does what he can as a spy for the pro-Union Loyal League, but he has a lot of rage and trauma that nobody knows what to do with, least of all himself. Then a new spy joins the organization: Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady pulled in too many directions by her white Confederate family and now in desperate straits. Once again, Alyssa Cole has produced a book that’s not only a compelling romance but a fascinating historical novel. Daniel and Janeta are both complex, involving characters with a great dynamic, plus Cole provides a great perspective on less-discussed aspects of the Civil War. 

WORST OF THE BI-MONTH

Once Ghosted, Twice Shy by Alyssa Cole (2019): Likotsi Adele, personal assistant to the prince of Thesolo, came to New York City a year ago for work and had what was supposed to be a casual affair with Fabiola, a gorgeous fledgling fashion designer. Just when her feelings were getting involved, though, Fabiola cut things off with no explanation. Now back in NYC on vacation, Likotsi runs into Fabiola, who proposes that they go on a date for old time’s sake. Although it’s technically the worst of the month, this novella is by no means bad; on the contrary, it’s very cute and sweet, with a pretty sexy love scene near the end. It just suffers from common romance novella pitfalls, mainly a dearth of conflict and some pacing problems.

REST OF THE BI-MONTH

Never Mind (1992), Bad News (1992), Some Hope (1994), Mother’s Milk (2005), and At Last (2011) by Edward St. Aubyn: Across five novellas, Patrick Melrose, son of an aristocratic non-practicing doctor and a charity-minded heiress, struggles with the legacy of his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s elaborately cultivated helplessness to intervene. The series follows him from early childhood (Never Mind) to drug-addled early adulthood (Bad News, Some Hope) to slightly more functional middle age (Mother’s Milk, At Last). I’ve never read such enjoyable fiction about the boredom and exhaustion of dealing with trauma and addiction, but St. Aubyn manages it with sharp characterization, whistling-in-the-dark humor, and a great sense of setting. I didn’t like all the novellas equally--Bad News has too many scenes about doing large amounts of heroin for my personal taste, and Some Hope sometimes loses track of its many characters--but, taken together, they’re magnificent.

Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes’s Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018): Using the life and career of billionaire/producer/aviator/womanizer Howard Hughes, Longworth (the podcast host of You Must Remember This) looks at Hollywood from the silent era to the waning days of the studio system. I love You Must Remember This, and this book exhibits all the strengths of the podcasts: the compelling style, the evenhanded consideration of evidence from multiple sources, and the use of film analysis to examine what was happening in the culture at the time. Longworth’s portrait of Hughes is also refreshingly non-sensational; he comes across as a juvenile reactionary with a little vision, too much money, and some pitiable mental health problems, rather than a genius or a boogeyman. 

Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996): Althea Winsloe, an Ozark widow in the early twentieth century, is determined to remain unmarried and look after her three-year-old son by herself, despite the disapproval of her close-knit community. Still needing help on her farm, she hires Jesse Best, regarded as “simple” because of a cognitive disability stemming from a childhood brain injury. As they work together, Althea realizes that Jesse has depths that few people bother to see. I was a little concerned when I began this romance; the hero has serious, life-altering issues with mental processing, which I thought might create a troubling power dynamic between him and the heroine. Instead, Morsi contributes something really valuable by showing how society ignores the autonomy and complexity of people with disabilities. She also does a great job of showing how a close-knit community can be both claustrophobic and supportive. Finally, I enjoyed the journey of a gay side character (the song’s for him!).

Lady Notorious by Theresa Romain (2019): When George, Lord Northbrook, discovers that his father is part of a tontine whose members have started dying at an alarmingly fast rate, he enlists the help of Cassandra Benton, an unofficial Bow Street Runner, to investigate the possible murders while pretending to be his scandalous cousin. Already friends, they grow attracted to each other during this charade, but they come from different worlds and each have a complicated family thing going on. This is a thoroughly likable romance with a fun plot; I especially enjoyed how George’s efforts to care for his emotionally distant parents mirrored Cassandra’s struggles to let go of her codependent relationship with her twin brother.

Don’t You Dare Read This, Mrs. Dunphrey by Margaret Peterson Haddix (1996): Fifteen-year-old Tish Bonner doesn’t have much time for school; with an absent father, a troubled mother, and an eight-year-old brother she feels responsible for, she’s too busy trying to hold things together at home. When her father makes an unwelcome return, though, she finds an outlet in the journal assigned by a nice young English teacher who promises not to read entries marked DO NOT READ. I first read this YA novel in middle school, and it struck me as particularly unvarnished, both then and as an adult. Teens in horrible situations are common in the genre, but Tish’s matter-of-fact presentation the day-to-day of dealing with sexual harassment at work and total parental abandonment at home really brings out the utter bleakness. I love Tish, whose ultimate acceptance of her inability to handle everything alone is as brave as her desperate efforts to keep everything together.

Give Me Your Hand by Megan Abbott (2018): Kit Owens, a talented chemist from humble beginnings, is shocked when former classmate Diane Fleming comes to work in her lab. Although Diane was the one who inspired her to reach beyond community college, she also burdened Kit with a horrible secret...and now they’re in competition to work on a prestigious new grant. I love Megan Abbott as a writer; she has a very sensory-based way of describing things that makes everything palpable. While I didn’t love this book as much as The Fever, it has a delightfully twisted plot and female characters who are “bad” in a realistic (or, at least, a humanely portrayed) way. I did probably like Diane more than I was supposed to; like Lady Audley before her, she should maybe go to jail but she’s still awesome.

A Dance with Danger by Jeannie Lin (2015): In Tang Dynasty China, Jin-mei, daughter of a magistrate, finds herself in a compromising position with Yang, her father’s old associate and sworn enemy of a local warlord. Their mutual attraction makes the ensuing wedding a more pleasant fate than either expected, but Yang disappears mysteriously before the marriage can be consummated. Heartbroken and very suspicious, Jin-mei refuses to give him up for dead. This is a fun adventure-romance with a wonderfully spooky atmosphere, although the ending is a little rushed.

Lady Rogue by Theresa Romain (2018): After her sub-par art-dealer husband apparently committed suicide, Lady Isabel Morrow grew close to and had a fling with Officer Callum Jenks, a Bow Street Runner. Now she’s discovered that her husband sold his customers forged works, and she needs to (awkwardly) enlist Callum’s help in replacing them with the real ones. This is a solid Regency romance, mostly thanks to the fun burglary plot. Isabel and Callum’s relationship, while perfectly pleasant, is rather static; they obviously like and respect each other, but just need a little time to reconcile themselves to the not-onerous-to-them social costs of a cross-class marriage. There’s also a real bummer of a development involving a minor character at the end. I’m not averse to bummers, but it felt out of place here.

What a Wallflower Wants by Maya Rodale (2014): Stranded at a strange inn after a failed elopement attempt, secretly traumatized spinster Penelope Payton finds a friend in the striking Lord Castleton...but is he who he says he is? Absolutely not, but he’s pretty cool regardless. This is a sweet, heartfelt Regency romance with endearing leads and great messages, but it’s pretty sloppily written, and that detracted from my enjoyment somewhat.