#but so many things were just popping up in the very like. fanservice-y way

[desperate-fight]

gwitch spoilers in tags

just need to rant a bit abt it...

[mimibwi]

Just say you’re a closeted Taekooker and go. The Taennie situation is suspicious? No it’s not. Lol. Taehyung is dating Jennie, get over it. And I’m curious as to why you think that “realistically speaking” no ship is real? These boys have been close friends for more than ten years, is it impossible for romantic feelings to develop? I bet there are a hell lot more ships in Kpop that are/were real and will never be revealed. Queer people are everywhere, and the entertainment industries is especially saturated with us. :)

My first “closeted Taekooker” accusation🫢 Finally!!!?

Provided my last three posts were just me defending Taekook from “fanservice” allegations, I expected this much sooner so thank you but you definitely missed the mark on this anon lml.

Anyway, I didn’t use the word suspicious. Although it has similar connotations to “weird” or “strange”, I still don’t think “suspicious” is what I was going for. It’s just weird *shrugs *. I think many people can see that. Like I said in the post, that opinion is independent of them actually dating or not. Even if Taehyung posts a picture of him and Jennie tomorrow, I will forever stick with my opinion that the way their relationship was dealt with in the public eye for the last year or so is strange. And at the end of the day, it’s just my opinion. Jennie and Taehyung definitely don’t care what user mimibwi on tumblr has to say about their relationship😭.

About no ship being real. The comment isn't meant to disprove the existence of queer people. I do know that we exist. I also don't get why you thought I was implying that because the members possibly being queer isn't limited to ships within BTS. They can all be attracted to men and still not be dating each other...

When I say "realistically” or rather “If we’re looking at this seriously” (which is what i actually said), I am looking at BTS as what they are- a brand, a business. When we see BTS what they're doing is working, this is their job. And I fully stand with anyone who thinks that it's possible that the members could have developed feelings for each other. However, I also am of the opinion that these men are professional and I think the chance of them taking (what can be seen as) a huge risk to their brand, career and future is very small. (A chance being small doesn’t mean impossible) And once again, this has nothing to do with their sexuality and everything to do with them wanting to maintain the integrity(?) of BTS as a team. I know shippers play around with things like "maybe they broke up" or "maybe he left x for y" and those are all good when it's just fun and games but that isn't what these real people's lives are. Can you imagine how much of a strain it would put on the team's dynamic if Jikook or Yoonmin or Namjin or whoever you ship were together and then break up, whether amicably or not? This is looking at it in a very negative way but I think if any of the guys were to ever date or mess around, all of these things would've or at least should've been considered. So the reason why I think it's less likely that any ship is "real" is the same reason I think it's unlikely that any of the boys have messed around with their stylists or makeup artists etc. Can it happen? Of course. Is it advised? Probably not. But these two situations can’t be looked at on the same scale—there are a lot of nitty gritty details that make these too different but i won’t bore you much longer. Either way, BTS are global pop icons and I doubt it will be very easy to deal with a fallout (a break up, them possibly being outed etc. etc.) of any relationship amongst a group of their capacity and the members are surely aware of that.

As I mentioned in the post, I am saying all of this as a shipper, as a person who, on some days (my most delulu ones), wonders to myself how everyone doesn't see that the members of my ship have serious romantic feelings for each other. I am an overthinker, I think of as many possibilities under the sun as I can. And notice that I keep saying possibilities because none of my opinions are ever meant to enforce any particular views on anyone. I am just looking at things from many different perspectives. This is my HR/PR perspective here lol. I can even try to look at it from Bang PD's perspective and even he wouldn't have the final say on whether the boys decide to pursue a relationship or not. At the end of it all, It's up to the members of that ship whether they are willing to take the "risk" or not and my hunch usually leans towards them not being willing to (this is once again something I can expand a bit more on but i’ll save you from it) which is why i shared that opinion anon.

This is a topic I have many thoughts on, my views on it aren’t limited to what I’ve expressed here— it’s just difficult to explain. I can debate with myself for a long time on why i think it’s likely no ship is real while still being a shipper. The whole point of that opinion wasn’t to declare that “no ship is real so give it up”. Instead it was meant to encourage shippers to doubt themselves cause some of y’all (maybe not you specifically) are just too comfortable and confident when you could just be loud and wrong. We could all be wrong.

~🐝

[testudoaubrei-blog]

do you really think queer rep doesnt matter because that seems like the opposite of a lot of things you have stated before.

Short answer, no, I don't think that queer rep is irrelevant or even unimportant. It's more that, I think that the question 'is this good representation?' isn't the best way to go about artistic and cultural criticism from a queer perspective. Instead, I think there are better questions we can ask that get at the same things but encourage deeper and more meaningful encounters with art and more critical appraisals of mass culture.

So when people examine something to see if it is 'good rep' I think there are two questions contained here. First, is what is represented queer at all? IE is X character of Y identity? Secondly, is the way this character is represented good?

I think this framing of the questions encourages or at least, doesn't discourage somehat reductive answers. For 'is this representation at all?' if we are asking that characters represent us, this framing encourages us to look for explicit identities. Characters saying that they are bi, or trans, etc. Often one encounters online the idea that non-explicit identification doesn't count. Which is valid when we are talking about queerbaiting or cowardly narratives that play up gay subtext but never make it text. But what about allegory, or fantasy or hell, old fashioned ambiguity? Queerness is often about the liminal spaces between sexualities and genders, or understandings of gender and sexuality orthagonal to stroaght society. If we ask 'am I represented by this character?' we might close ourselves off to subtler ways of encountering queerness in art. For instance, in Nona the Ninth there are no characters that walk around and tell people 'I am trans' and only one character that uses they/them pronouns. But the book is full of characters that are in the wrong body (yes, when used in our world this is a reductive framing but I think it works here), and Pyrrha in particular is depicted as dysphoric. The experience of these characters is reflective of the trans experience (see also, the Matrix and Ghost in the Shell). I think Nona is a far more trans book than many more conventional stories that have trans characters. On the other hand, I have seen folks online seem happy with like, pride flag color coding in characters that have no narrative impact, like a gay version of 'spot the reference'. Some examples of this make me feel like that girl power scene in avengers endgame. It feels both pandering and unearned on the part of the corporate behemoth producing the media we watch. Again, I think this isn't just people not thinking deeply but that it reflects a flaw in the underlying question.

Even more fraught is the question of whether representation is 'good' or not. Generally 'good' is taken to mean several things, which are defined negatively - IE good rep is simply rep that is not bad. The thrre main ways rep can be bad, by most definitions, is if a character is stereotypical (in a negative way), villainous or if theor story has a tragic end. As far as I can tell, the two forces driving these definitions are establishment gay groups like GLAAD and fans. And a lot of concerns by both parties are valid! The Hayes Code basically mandated that implicitly gay characters had to be villains who came to bad ends, and characters were coded as queer through negative stereotypes. But this negative idea of avoiding bad representation also doesn't guide our analysis into very deep places. How often have we seen this idea of good rep turned into a demand that queer characters be virtuous heroes who love happily ever after? And this makes sense. GLAAD is worried about making us look good for the straights, and fans of all kinds want fanservice.

Put another way, a problem with framing queer art and queerness in pop culture in terms of representation is that this is a kind of atomistic way of looking at a narrative and its characters. It breaks the cast into individual people and those people into a list of traits and the story into character arcs (but mostly a list of outcomes). It does not view the work as a whole and so doesn't touch on themes or style or anything like that.

So are there better questions we can ask? Yeah I think so. What of we ask ourselves 'is this an authentically queer story?' Or on a more personal level 'does this reflect the queer experience?' Or in a more open ended way 'what does this work have to say to queer people about who we are and how we love our lives?' or 'what part of our lives is reflected in this?' I think these questions encourage a more interesting line of inquiry.

[singharit]

A Not-So-Quick and Dirty Rundown on Queer Thai TV

Have you ever thought to yourself, "wow, I love how queer-romance oriented fanfiction is. I wish there was something that level of ridiculous but profesionally made so I don't have to survive on the crumbs of Western shows."

Yes?

Boy, have I got an industry for you.

Over the past few years Thai TV, and Thai queer TV in particular, has somewhat exploded in popularity not unlike Korea’s Hallyu wave of yesteryear. It’s new on the scene, it’s got its own little quirks that set it apart from Korean or Japanese TV, and to many people it seems a bit more exotic. It's really not that dense of an industry to break into, but I am nothing if not pedantic about literally everything ever, hence this post.

Contents

An Industry Overview

Language & Cultural Notes

What To Watch

Links & Resources

◇   ◆   ◇ 

An Industry Overview.

Production companies in Thailand are not dissimilar to K-Pop record labels, or perhaps a comparison to '30s Hollywood might be more apt. Actors sign to a company as young adults -- the primary big hitter being GMMTV -- and that company produces dramas almost exclusively featuring actors from its on-call stable.

Now, a few years ago some higher ups at GMMTV realised that shows with queer characters were getting way, way, more views than their solely straight ones. Solution? Make more, except focus on solely on the queer characters this time. Thus an industry was born.

These shows are referred to internationally as either BL or GL, boys’ love and girls’ love, and within Thailand as Y-stories. I fucking hate the terms BL and GL so will not be using them, but that seems to be the “””official””” way to refer to both the industry and fandom.

They also tend to be a few things:

Very male heavy. Things have started changing lately, with more female characters in general being written, but you can still expect many women to be either the protagonist’s sister, mother, ex-girlfriend, or first love.

About light-skinned, Thai-Chinese origin, middle-class characters from Bangkok. This is also slowly changing with some shows set in e.g. Chiang Mai or Phuket, but those are the exception rather than the rule.

Character-driven and focused almost entirely on romance. Any other type of plot that happens is a side effect, not an intentional stop on the road to getting these guys to kiss.

Based around more than one couple, and not just in a side-plot kind of way. There’ll be at least two, more commonly three, pairs that share screentime with something like a 70/30 or 50/30/20 split.

Single season shows, where a season can be anywhere from eight to fourteen 40-minute episodes. Second seasons do exist but are rare.

Full of fanservice. Cutie Pie recently had thirteen minute make-out scene, and guys will frequently be shirtless for no reason other than to show off their pecs. You get used to it after a while.

Common tropes & things you’ll see a lot of:

Engineers! Why is Thailand so obsessed with engineering students? I have no idea! But you’ll see at least one in 90% of dramas, so you’d better get used to them.

What Westerners might consider to be strange ethics, e.g. booze blurred out and scenes with guns having big “don’t try this at home” warnings emblazoned on top, but sexual assault explicitly shown.

Painfully obvious product placement. It’s a necessary evil for these shows to get that sponsorship $$$.

A baffling insistence on refusing to hire sound engineers, which is made all the more egregious by the equal insistence on featuring live singing.

Coming-of-age stories.

Cringe. Cringe. Cringe. The secondhand embarrassment is soooo real sometimes.

Friend squads to die for.

Happy endings!

Now, one thing I can’t gloss over is gay-for-pay. It’s a thing. It’s no use pretending that it doesn’t exist, especially when it’s so prevelant. When these types of shows starting becoming popular, a few actors realised that by giving another guy one single, painful to watch, peck on the lips, they could build up a legion of fans ready to scream, “he can’t be homophobic, he was in a gay show!”, and that they could make bank while doing so. I’m not going to name names here, except I absolutely am. Krist Perawat, God Itthiphat, and Mean Phiravich are shitty people and should be ashamed. But bottom line, unless an actor is proven to actually be an ally or queer themselves, don’t trust them.

Related to the above: RPS and actor pair-ups. When casting actors, production companies tend to focus on casting a set couple with both marketability and potential long-term chemistry. The idea behind this is that pair two actors up for a significant amount of time and it’ll allow them to be more comfortable together, thus allowing better chemistry and more complex storylines. Gun Atthaphan & Off Jumpol, for example, in their first appearance together had a very chaste questioning-your-sexuality storyline, whereas their most recent work, after a partnership of six years, featured them as gang members explicitly shown to be sleeping together. These actors build up a rapport, develop a certain dynamic that suits them, and fans watch a new show for them rather than the plot. For some, like OffGun, this works great! They’ve been together a long time, are good friends as a result of that, and they’re now old enough to know to set boundaries with fans. For others, for a variety of reasons, this system crashes and burns. When I talk about the shows themselves a bit further down, this is why I’ll be noting the actors. Watch a few shows and you’ll notice that actors are important to understanding the dynamics you’ll be getting.

But! Despite how dire this industry can seem from what I’ve been talking about above, there are many queer actors and creatives supporting each other and using these shows as a vehicle to express themselves, producing content that wouldn’t otherwise be welcomed on TV. In the last two or three years alone, the environment has become much more open and welcoming, and it’s been a really beautiful thing watch the industry and all of the people involved flourish.

Kings Tul Pakorn & Max Nattapol

◇   ◆   ◇

Language & culture notes:

Thai romanisation is not standardised. At all. There’s multiple systems in use and depending on the system, and the translator, you could have three or four ways of romanising one name, e.g. Mes, Met, Med, or Mate. Another particular recurring point of confusion I see often is Kan vs Gun.

Thai full names are long and too unwieldy for everyday life. Every Thai person goes by a nickname instead of their given name, which can be basically any word in existence. Surnames are only used for formal occasions and official documents and such. Also, every family’s surname is unique, so you can immediately tell when people are related.

Name order is Nickname Forename Surname, while actors are referred to as Nickname Forename. E.g. for Max Nattapol, Max is the nickname while Nattapol is the forename. His surname, which I just had to google, is Diloknawarit.

The exception to this is actors who are mixed race and those who’ve spent time abroad, e.g. Jeff Satur and Perth Nakhun, whose legal names are Worakamon Satur and Stewart Nakhuntanagarn Screaigh, respectively.

It’s not uncommon for Thais to change their legal names, mainly either for auspicious reasons or to emphasise a new phase in their life. This is why you have people like Fiat Pattadon suddenly becoming Fiat Patchata

Thailand uses both the Gregorian and Buddhist calendars. They both use the same days and months but the Buddhist year reckoning is 543 years ahead, making this year, 2022, 2565.

Any shows set outside of Bangkok will usually have Thai subtitles since the Northern & Southern varieties of Thai are full dialects, not just accents. You can’t get rid of the subs so just ignore them.

Honorifics & vocab:

P’ - precedes the first name of your elder. E.g., P’Sean, P’Kit. Pronounced literally as the letter ‘p’. Sometimes used as a term of address on its own, in which case it tends to be romanised as phi. Gender neutral.

Nong - precedes the first name of your junior. E.g. Nong’Yo, Nong’Ram. Sometimes shortened to just ‘N’’. Also used as a term of address on its own. Not strictly required to be respectful, so comes across more as affectionate. Also gender neutral.

Ai’ - precedes the first name of a man. Quite rude, so using it implies either disrespect or, with a friend, real closeness in the same way that an English speaker might call a friend “bitch” or “dickhead”. The female equivalent is Ee’.

Hia - precedes the first name of an older close male friend or relative. Used within Thai-Chinese families, or towards a person of Thai-Chinese descent, meaning literally “older brother”. Implies much more closeness than phi. The female equivalent is Je.

(Can also mean “fuck” when said in a different tone, just to be confusing.)

Nu - diminutive literally meaning mouse, used mainly by parents and for very young children.

Khun - Mr/Mrs/Miss. A general use polite term, can be used either on its own, preceeding a first name, or preceeding a title. When preceeding a title tends to make words more formal. E.g. por = dad, khun por = father. Gender neutral.

Khun Nu - Mr mouse? Nope! Young master. E.g. Tankhun in Kinnporsche is a Khun Nu, and Kuea in Cutie Pie is Nu Kuea.

Faen - gender neutral term for significant other. Often times when you see the term boyfriend or girlfriend used it’s actually this instead, so worth remembering. Incredibly useful for conversations with a double meaning.

Krub and Ka - sentence enders, essentially a politeness marker. Can also be used on their own as an acknowledgement or an “excuse me?” kind of thing. Krub is male while Ka is female. Also romanised as khrap and kha.

Want a video about this from someone actually Thai? Perth Nakhun has gotchu.

◇   ◆   ◇

THE SHOWS

Most of these shows are available, legally, for free on YouTube with subtitles. For those that aren’t, or if any links have since died, message me. Fansub teams are scattered around a bit haphazardly so it's hard to know where to look sometimes but these (drama)s are very (cool) so you should definitely give them a go.

I’m focusing solely on TV here; films are a whole other area which I don’t have much experience in. For a list of like, literally every show and film ever, see here.

Key ✨ - Personal recommendations 🏳️‍🌈 - Openly queer cast and/or crew involved in the show Title, with a link to the listing on MyDramaList Synopsis, including notable cast members. Notes, aka gossip & triggers. Links

Summaries my own, because my own may suck but the official ones are even worse.

◇   ◆   ◇

The Classics.

Note: quality on these shows tends to be a lot lower than recent ones. These are the very start of the industry, and so show a time before they’d found their footing. They're messy, kinda cringey, and filled with teenagers, but on the other hand, there’s a certain charm to them because of that? They feel more genuine for their amateurish production, like they've been made for love rather than money, and there’s a real sweetness to a lot of the couples.

🏳️‍🌈 2 Moons

After Wayo enters the same university as his longtime crush Pha, he joins a competition to be crowned the campus moon (think prom king) in an effort to get Pha’s attention. As the former moon Pha is in charge of mentoring the new crop of hopefuls, but he seems to have a strange dislike for Wayo. Meanwhile, Wayo's best friend Ming attempts to win over a taciturn senior, Kit.

Note: this show had drama. Note the lack of actor's names. After Pha's actor, God Itthipat, revealed himself to be a homophobe that auditioned for the show solely to boost his modelling career, the author of the original novel took the opportunity to reveal she didn't like the cast and fired everyone. A reboot with a new cast — very imaginatively named 2 Moons 2 — was produced with plans to finish out the rest of the series, but that also crashed and burned via one of the producers coming onto and then being rejected by Wayo's new actor, Earth Teerapat. The producer fired Earth from any promotional stuff and the next season and then blacklisted him, the rest of the cast quit in protest, and season 3 has been languishing ever since. Last I heard the production company were refusing to admit any fault and going through a new round of auditions with little success. Actually a pretty sweet show on its own merits, so has quite a few fans despite all of this. General consensus is that 2 Moons 2 is the better series but it also moves a lot faster and I prefer the cast of S1. Watch either; you get more plot with S2 but it doesn't matter in terms of continuity.

(🏳️‍🌈 applies to the original 2 Moons only, with Kit’s actor aka Copter Panuwat being nonbinary.)

S1 Trailer ♦  S2 Trailer  ♦  Watch S1 and S2

🏳️‍🌈 Love By Chance

Pete (Saint Suppapong) is a shy student who keeps to himself to hide the fact that he’s gay after previous experiences with violent homophobia. A chance encounter with the hotheaded and outspoken Ae (Perth Tanapon) brings him out of his shell to the point where he takes a chance on not just friendship, but also love.

Note: another one with drama. The short version is that a) only one of the cast (Earth Katsamonnat) is out as queer, resulting in many of the gay-for-pay actors belittling and bullying him on set, and b) Perth’s manager at one point started talking shit publicly about Saint, implying that he gets acting roles via selling himself to producers. Seemingly owing to age and industry inexperience Perth basically ignored the entire thing was happening, and what started as a few snide comments blew up to result in what looked like a very real and very public breakup. Earth and Saint both reject any association with the show now.

Note v.2: TW for rape and pseudo-incest (step-brother romance), but both are side storylines that are easily skipped with no impact on the rest of the show. Skip any scenes with Kengkla, Tum, and Tar. Despite [gestures] everything, the AePete parts are incredibly sweet and worth watching.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

✨ Love Sick

Student council member Punn’s (White Nawat) father wants Punn to date his boss’ daughter, never mind that Punn already has a girlfriend. The only thing that could sway him from the idea is if Punn had a boyfriend instead. Punn’s target for the farce? Noh (Captain Chonlathorn), president of the school music club who is desperate to get more funding for their activities.

Note: This is the show. The one that paved the way. I watched this show in 2016 and still think about Punn and Noh today. Skip any scenes with the girls, since their storyline is waaaay lower quality and also something that was written just to fill the time.

Trailer ♦  Links  ♦  S1 Playlist

Make It Right

After his girlfriend cheats on him, Fuse (Peak Peemapol) gets drunk and sleeps with a friend, Tee (Boom Krittapak). At the same time, Frame (Ohm Pawat) and Book (Toey Sittiwat) also sleep together. The story revolves around these four and their attempts to rationalise that night with their previous straight identities.

TW: consent issues.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

Puppy Honey

When their school club for looking after stray animals is threatened with disbandment by the dean, best friends Porsche (Kang Korn) and Pick (Off Jumpol) try to recruit the dean's neice Emma (Cherreen Nachjaree) and her best friend Rome (Gun Atthaphan) to help change his mind. There's just one problem: Emma is terrified of dogs.

No trailer :( ♦  Watch Here

Sotus

Engineering student Arthit (Krist Perawat) is known for his hazing of incoming first-years, but he meets his match with the arrival of new student Kongpob (Singto Prachaya). The two don't want to like each other, but are drawn together nonetheless.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here (Sotus S is S2. Ignore that.)

✨Together With Me

Reunited for the first time in years at university, best friends Korn (Max Nattapol) and Knock (Tul Pakorn) drunkenly spend the night together. Afterwards they try to work out if they’d work as a couple, and if it’s even possible to go back to being just friends.

Note: this is actually a prequel to another drama, Bad Romance, but that isn't required watching for continuity.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

◇   ◆   ◇

The New Blood.

Now we're getting somewhere! These are the post-2019 releases, which, as the industry was starting to get established in its norms, marked a significant uptick in both quality and quantity.

🏳️‍🌈 2gether

With an admirer making unwanted advances toward him, cheerleader Tine (Win Metawin) decides that the perfect thing to do to get him to back off is be in a very public, fake, relationship with the campus hottie, Sarawat (Bright Vachirawit).

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈✨ 3 Will Be Free

What do a male stripper (Joss Way-ar), a pickpocket conwoman (Mild Lapassalan), and a gang princeling (Tay Tawan) have in common? Being bisexual, accidentally murdering a man, and going on the run together, of course.

Note: Polyamory and also a major trans character!

TW: attempted rape.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈✨ A Tale of Thousand Stars

Rich kid Tian (Mix Sahaphap) spends his time gambling and drinking the days away; he has a terminal heart condition so it's not like it's his life is worth anything, right? Wrong. After unexpectedly recieving a heart transplant from a young teacher killed in a car crash, he abandons his life in Bangkok to move to her rural (aka lacking in electricity and running water) village in an attempt to find some meaning in his life, and to keep a promise she made to a forest ranger, Phupha (Earth Pirapat).

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈✨ Bad Buddy

A rivals to lovers comedy where two university students, Pat (Ohm Pawat) and Pran (Nanon Korapat), who’ve grown up next door to each other, and whose families are feuding a la Romeo and Juliet, decide that generational trauma has had its turn; they’re gonna fall in love instead.

Note: F/F side pair!

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈 Dark Blue Kiss

Pete (Tay Tawan) and Kao (New Thitipoom) are a couple and generally happy together, but that happiness is threatened by Kao’s reluctance to come out to his mother, something that Pete can’t understand. Kao, on the other hand, is tired of Pete’s possessiveness and jealousy. The two of them try to work out whether they care about each other enough to work through their issues.

Meanwhile, coffee shop owner Sun (Podd Suphakorn) takes in and employs bad boy Mork (Fluke Gawin) in an attempt to reform him.

Note: This is actually the third part of a series, following Kiss and Kiss Me Again, but those aren’t required watching afaik. There’s an official cut of all the PeteKao scenes Kiss Me Again for people who don’t wanna slog through Straight Nonsense, but I haven’t seen it so can’t say anything for the coherency.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈 The Eclipse

Suppalo is a prestigious all-boys high school known for being unyielding in its standards, which fall to its prefects, including Akk (First Kanaphan), to enforce and maintain. On the outside, everything looks fine. On the inside, students protest daily about restrictive uniform rules, the administration tacitly encourage the bullying and osctracism of nonconforming students, and a beloved teacher recently committed suicide. New transfer student Ayan (Khaotung Thanawat) couldn’t give a shit about Suppalo’s rules. What he cares about is finding the truth behind his uncle’s death, what drove him to that point, and what it is about the school that inspires such blind compliance in Akk.

Note: this show has an interesting backstory in that the director, Golf Tanwarin Sukkhapisit, originally worked in the film industry before becoming Thailand’s first openly trans MP. When they lost their seat due to the military cracking down on pro-democracy protests and ousting anyone from parliament they deemed too liberal, Golf returned to filmmaking with a focus on subversive and anti-establishment media, including this show!

Trailer ♦ Watch Here

Enchanté

Returning to Thailand after spending time in France, Theo (Book Kasidet) is quickly bored by his change in surroundings and lack of friends, so turns to writing in a library book to someone he refers to as “Enchanté”. At his friend Akk’s (Force Jiratchapong) suggestion, the two of them start searching for his penpal. The problem? Not one, but four guys step forward.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈 ✨ He’s Coming To Me

Amnesiac ghost Met (Singto Prachaya) waits for the day that one of his relatives will visit his grave so he can leave Earth and reincarnate. He spends 20 years like this, until one day he encounters a boy, Thun (Ohm Pawat), who can not only see him, but who also says his death was not accidental. Leaving the graveyard together, the two of them try to unravel the mystery of who Met was and why he’s been forgotten.

Trailer ♦ Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈 ✨ I Told Sunset About You / Last Twilight in Phuket / I Promised You The Moon

After a childhood falling out, close friends Teh (Billkin Putthipong) and Oh-aew (PP Krit) ended up as bitter rivals. Now in their last year of high school and preparing for university entrance exams, the two of them are thrown together again by a Chinese language class. Oh-aew is failing miserably. Teh grew up speaking the language. What starts as tutoring in an attempt to repair their relationship quickly turns into something a lot more as they try to cope with the return of their friendship and feelings.

Note: whatever the Thai genre equivalent of arthouse lgbt cinema is, this series is it. It’s so real.

ITSAY Trailer ♦  Watch Here (VPN to the UK required)

🏳️‍🌈 ✨ KinnPorsche

After saving a man being attacked behind the bar where he works, Porsche (Apo Nattawin) finds out that that man, Kinn (Mile Phakphum), is the heir to one of Thailand’s biggest crime families. Faced with debt, a younger brother to put through university, and the family patriarch’s gratitude, Porsche takes a job as Kinn’s bodyguard. All he has to do to survive is swallow his morals, keep Kinn safe, and try to ignore how much he wants to sleep with him.

Trailer ♦ Watch Here (First 3 episodes available for free, full uncut 18+ ver. available only through subscription).

(Also has a bangin’ theme song in both English and Thai.)

✨ Manner of Death

Returning to the small town where he grew up after moving away for university, one of coroner Bun’s (Tul Pakorn) first cases when he arrives is the supposed suicide of a childhood friend. It doesn’t matter that she was drugged prior to her death, nor that there were signs of a fight in her home, the police want her case buried so that’s what he’s told to do. Bun refuses. After being backed into a corner by threats and violence from an unknown source, he's forced to team up with mysterious bar owner Tan (Max Nattapol) to find out the truth, who all the evidence seems to point to as her killer.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

✨ Not Me

Identical twins Black and White (both Gun Atthaphan) grew up to have completely different lives after their parents divorced. When Black is beaten within an inch of his life by an unknown assailant, the pampered White goes undercover in Black’s anarchist gang as his twin to try and find out who did it, and forges a connection with Black’s rival, Sean (Off Jumpol), in the process.

Trailer ♦  Watch here

TharnType

Type (Gulf Kanuwat) is generally known to be very friendly and outgoing, except for one thing: he's homophobic due to being molested by a gay man as a child. When he enters university and finds that his new roomate, Tharn (Mew Suppasit), is out and proud? He wages a campaign to get Tharn to move out, of course. Tharn stands his ground, and so starts their life of constant push and pull.

Note: This show had a less than stellar reputation from the get-go due to the storyline, and it didn't help matters when Mew was cast. During promotions of his previous show, What The Duck, Mew at one point came onto his costar, Art Pakpoom. By Art’s account Mew had trouble separating the show from their real lives, thought they were actually dating, and became incredibly controlling and possessive over him. This all came out via Art having a breakdown on I think an instagram live? Fans, typically, rallied behind Mew in this, saying that Art had led him on with their contractually obligated public affection and was the worse party of the two of them for the fact that he was airing their dirty laundy in public. It became a whole Thing for a week or two, Art’s mental state and career both took a nosedive, and now everyone ignores that it ever happened. There was a whole push of MewGulf as a fanservice couple afterwards to try and make us forget about Art, which for a lot of people seems to have worked :/ Apparently people watched this because the kissing is good? Idk I didn’t watch it.

Note v.2: This is a spin-off of Love By Chance, so same warnings apply wrt Tum & Tar.

(I guess it qualifies for 🏳️‍🌈 considering Mew, but god, at what cost?)

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

Theory of Love

Film student Third (Gun Atthaphan) decides it's time to get over his years-long unrequited love for his oblivious best friend, Khai (Off Jumpol). Taking cues from his favourite films, he confesses in one last ditch attempt that goes nowhere. And then, just as he starts to pull away, Khai starts his own chase.

Trailer ♦ Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈 Until We Meet Again

After a tragic end to their romance, lovers Korn (Kao Noppakao) and Intouch (Earth Katsamonnat) are reincarnated as Dean (Ohm Thitiwat) and Pharm (Fluke Natouch). Meeting for the first time again when Pharm enters university, Dean and Pharm are instantly drawn to each other. They grapple with the concept of fate and falling in love so quickly, while flashbacks show the course of Korn and In’s relationship.

Note: big suicide tw for this!

Trailer ♦ Watch on YT or on Viki

Why R U?

Aspiring writer Zon (Tommy Sittichok) finds out that his sister has been using him and his rival, Saifah (Jimmy Karn), as fodder for her own romance novel. He demands that she take it down and she agrees, but only, she says, if he can prove that a) he’s a better writer than she is, and b) there’s absolutely nothing between him and Saifah.

Simultaneously, rich boy Fighter (Zee Pruk) tries to win the heart of a poor student, Tutor (Saint Suppapong), while chafing under his father’s expectations of a girlfriend and a career in business.

Note: this show is really lopsided. It’s also a hot mess. Initial plans were for the SaifahZon story to take centre stage, however they were filming each episode as they went and Covid happened partway through production and put a halt to everything. Trying to salvage whatever they could, they took what they’d already shot, aka the FighterTutor storyline, and finished the show with that, resulting in a mess of timeskips and general weirdness. I find the dynamics interesting enough to still be in invested, but obviously ymmv.

Trailer ♦ Watch Here

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The Pulp.

Like I said, post-2019 we've been getting a lot of new releases per year.  This is a selective round-up of stuff from smaller studios, shows with prominent actors, good stuff that just didn't reach the right audience, and the low-quality fluff.

Cutie Pie

The sons of two prominent families, Lian (Zee Pruk) and Kuea (New Chawarin), have been engaged since they were young. When an argument splits them up, Kuea is determined to use it as an opportunity to be himself rather than the doll-like image of a fiancé that he had portrayed for Lian. Lian, on the other hand, decides to pull out all the stops to win Kuea back, making sure that this time there's no obligation attached to their love.

Trailer ♦ Watch on YT or on Viki

Cupid’s Last Wish

Win (Mix Sahaphap) and Korn (Earth Pirapat) are close friends until Win's father dies and bequeaths Korn shares in the family business. Convinced that Korn was only using him for his family money, Win cuts off all contact. When a car crash somehow results in Win swapping bodies with his sister, he’s told that to turn back he must travel to four different temples scattered across Thailand in seven days, and that he must do it alongside Korn.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈 Diary of Tootsies

When a friendship group of three gays and a lesbian all get dumped on the same day, they vow to each other to find love before the year is out.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

🏳️‍🌈 Gen Y

Hearing that there's one particular senior at university who's hard to approach, playboy Mark (Kimmon Varodom) makes it a personal mission to find, win over, and date medical student Kit (Copter Panuwat).

Note: I would be tempted to call this a redemption series if it weren't such a mess. After everything that was the first 2 Moons cancellation, fan favourite actors for Ming (Kimmon) and Kit (Copter) stuck together. This is supposedly what their season 2 would've been, if it existed, right down to Wayo (Bas Suradej) also being present as Mark's best friend, called Wayu here. Everything is much the same, both the Mark/MingKit dynamic and Wayo/u mooning over Pha, whose face is consistenly not shown and who also at one point dies so that the writers can pair Wayu up with the winner of a fan poll instead. No, I am not making this up, and yes, it is exactly as funny as it sounds.

✨ Great Men Academy

Hopeless romantic Love (New Chanyapuk) makes a wish on a unicorn (I know… just go with it) to turn into a guy (James Teeradon) so she can attend the same all-boys school as her crush. Gender bender shenanigans and rom-com situations occur as she tries to fit in, and when her male form instead catches the eye of another senior, Tangmo (JJ Kritsanapoom).

Note: I... actually really enjoyed this. James Teeradon in particular is phenomenal, as always, but the whole cast are great.

Trailer

🏳️‍🌈 Lovely Writer

Gene (Up Poompat) is a successful BL writer, never mind that he’s desperate to break into another genre like fantasy. His work is so successful, in fact, that his most recent novel gets turned into a TV show. As producer of the show and present on set everyday, he forges a bond with his leading man Nubsib (Kao Noppakao), but their blossoming relationship is soon threatened by the industry environment, fan expectations, and the very show that brought them together.

Note: this has a lot of meta commentary on the industry as a whole. Even if it weren’t good, which it is, it would be worth watching for that alone.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

My Engineer

Bohn (Cooper Patpasit) is a self-acknowledged shitty person who forces an underclassman, Duen (Poy Kritsanapong), into bringing him a red rose everyday in an attempt to weird hazing thing. It starts as a joke, but Bohn stops laughing when their forced proximity actually brings them together.

Meanwhile, extrovert King (Lay Talay) attempts to win over serious introvert Ram (Perth Nakhun).

Note: BohnDuen might be the primary couple, but RamKing is the highlight of this drama. We're supposedly getting a S2 centred on RamKing... eventually.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here (...and the fanmade RamKing cut here.)

My Ride

Medical student Tawan (Fame Chawinroj) and motorcycle taxi driver Mork (Fluke Pongsakorn) meet by chance one day when Tawan hires Mork to drive him across town. This one ride turns into many, and their feelings turn into love, regardless of the class difference.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

My Secret Love

Kimhant (Earth Teerapat) is a conscientious student who cares a lot about maintaining both his own and the university’s reputation. Mek (Fluk Chatchawan), on the other hand, cares more about his youtube channel than his degree. When a prank of Mek’s goes awry, the two of them are forced to first work together, and later fake date, to save themselves from suspension.

Note: this show has absolutely no business being as good as it is??

Trailer ♦ Watch Here

Secret Crush on You

At the beginning of his university life, Toh (Seng Wichai) falls in love at first sight with third-year basketball player Nuea (Billy Patchanon). Drunk on his first love but lacking the confidence to confess, Toh turns full-on stalker. When fate throws them together regardless of Toh’s wish to keep his distance, will he take the chance he’s given?

Note: This show is all about taking the characters who are typically the butt of jokes in Thai dramas and showing that they deserve love too. We have openly weird, chubby, and trans characters all having their own storylines and it’s incredibly sweet. Also, Saint Suppapong has seemingly aquired a flock of baby gays to guide.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

✨ The Stranded

After a tsunami strands a group of teens on their island school, they divide into groups as they try and work out not only how to survive, but also how to leave.

Note: Fair warning, the first season ends on a cliffhanger and we’re unlikely to get another due to the death of the lead actor.

Trailer ♦ On Netflix

✨ Triage

Losing a patient is nothing new for A&E doctor Tin (Tae Darvid). What is new is pronouncing that patient, Tol (Tee Thanapon), dead from a car crash, and then, the following day, seeing him be wheeled into the emergency room again. And again. And again. The same day loops over and over, and as Tin tries to learn how to escape, he gets closer to both Tol and also to a hospital conspiracy that threatens to consume them both.

Note: the broadcasters were doing this weird thing where the episodes were only available legally on YT for a two-hour window after they aired in Thailand. Ordinarily I would say to support the legal upload, but I feel like at that point it’s almost a moral obligation to encourage piracy.

As a sidenote, this and Manner of Death are by the same author. They’re only tangentially related though (ie Bun shows up to do an autopsy) so you don’t need to watch both for continuity.

Trailer ♦ Short film ♦ Ahoy!

Vice Versa

Talay (Sea Tawinan) is ecstatic when he lands his dream job, except that when his friends take him to the beach to celebrate, he drowns. Waking up in an alternate universe and the body of a rich boy, Tess (Ohm Pawat), he's told to find someone else, essentially his soulmate, who has also crossed over so that they can go home together and Talay can get back to his life. Whoever it is (Jimmy Jitaraphol) in the body of Tess’ friend Tun (Nanon Korapat) may fit the bill, but he has zero intention of leaving this world that he likes more than their original.

Trailer

You're My Sky

Thorn (Suar Kritsanapong) and Tupfah (Tae Chayapat) are both basketball players, but while Thorn is determined to turn professional if possible, Tupfah has put his own ambitions on hold. As they spend time together, and Thorn tries to convince Tupfah to return to the sport they both love, they, of course, fall in love themselves.

Trailer ♦  Watch Here

YYY

When one of Nott's (Yoon Phusanu) inventions goes haywire and wreaks havoc in his apartment building, he's on the verge of being kicked out. Luckily, prospective tenant Punn (Lay Talay) arrives just in time. Preying on the landlady's sympathy, the two of them concoct a plan to fake date in exchange for Nott’s continued residence.

Note: big flashing lights tw for the first minute of episode 1. This entire show is like someone’s acid trip come to life.

Trailer

◇   ◆   ◇

Currently Airing

Between Us (Aka Hemp Rope among fans)

A spinoff of Until We Meet Again, focused on Pharm and Dean’s friends Win (Boun Noppanut) and Team (Prem Warut) as they start a friend-with-benefits relationship that morphs into love. Win helps Team with his insomnia, and Team helps with feeling wanted.

Trailer 1 | Trailer 2

Ghost Host, Ghost House

A recent returnee to Thailand form the US, Kevin (Tod Techit) is fascinated by ghosts and Thailand’s cultural prevalence of them. Disregarding the warnings of his extended family and the local handyman, Pleum (Boy Nattapon), who he may have just a tiny crush on, he happily goes ghost hunting and exploring abandoned buildings in search for them, not knowing that there are some much closer than he thinks.

Trailer

Love in the Air

When Rain’s (Noeul Nuttarat) car breaks down one day and a handsome stranger fixes it for him roadside, he doesn’t expect that stranger to be Phayu (Boss Chaikamon), notable faculty alumnus and the object of his crush’s affections. Being an idiot, Rain hatches a plan to make Phayu fall for him in an attempt to get one over on him, but soon enough he’s the one catching feelings.

Simultaneously, Rain’s best friend Sky (Peat Wasuthorn) has a one night stand with rich boy Prapai (Fort Thitipong). Having recently left an abusive relationship, Sky isn’t looking for anything serious, but that doesn’t deter Prapai who fell in love at first fuck and makes it his mission to both win Sky over, and show Sky that he’s someone to be treasured.

Trailer ♦ Watch for free cut & on subscription uncut. (Note: the uncut ver. isn’t legally available in Europe.)

◇   ◆   ◇

Upcoming excitement.

Gap

Mon (Becky Armstrong), a fresh graduate, starts working as an intern in a big company because she admires the chairwoman, Sam (Freen Sarocha). She soon learns that Sam is nothing like her media persona, but is drawn to her when their paths cross anyway.

Note: Girls!!! Holy shit!!!!! So this is actually the first major F/F production that I’m aware of, and it came into existences at the behest of Saint Suppapong. After Saint starred in Love By Chance and Why R U he realised how skewed the industry was in favour of men, and actually founded his own production company to try and combat that. (Secret Crush On You was another of his productions!) This show is hopefully the first in a looong line of upcoming F/F dramas.

A few little teasers.

Moonlight Chicken

Jim (Earth Pirapat) is the owner of a Hainanese chicken restaurant. He values a simple life of making good food and looking after his customers. One night when looking after a drunk customer, Wen (Mix Sahaphap), they end up sleeping together, which quickly turns into a relationship that threatens the tight-knit little community that Jim has built.

Trailer

Never Let Me Go

Following the death of his mobster father, Neung (Phuwin Tangsakyuen) is the one left to pick up the pieces and take over the family empire. Unused to trusting people, he initially shuns the new bodyguard, Palm (Pond Naravit), that his mother assigns to him, but tensions quickly get the better of them and they start to fall in love.

Trailer

Wish Me Luck

Rak (Fiat Patchata) is somehow holding his own while juggling two jobs, one at a supermarket, the other as an intern for a small advertising firm. The supermarket is the least demanding of the two, but the advertising firm has the bonus of his very hot boss, Chai/Shine (Na Naphat), who takes it upon himself to personally oversee Rak’s vocational training. But as the work piles up and Rak struggles to hold his head above the water, he has to decide which is more important to him, and whether he’s going to let his emotions get in the way.

Trailer

Wish You Luck (yes, these two are named very confusingly.)

After a devastating event leaves cities empty and countless people dead, Ken (Tonnam Piamchol) survives by living alone in the wilderness, where his bad luck can’t jinx anyone he cares about. Q (Title Teshin), a strange boy he comes across one day, is trying to make his way home to Chiang Mai. Thrown together by the road, the two try to survive and make what they can of the new world.

Note: Tonnam lead role!!! Tonnam has been in a lot of dramas lately, including Triage, Cutie Pie, and Love in the Air, in supporting & background parts. He somehow manages to be a great actor even when he has literally 2 lines in a scene to work with, so we’re all really excited to see him as a lead 🥰

Trailer

◇   ◆   ◇

Links

Networks: @/asiansapphics @/asianlgbtqdramas @/lakornet @/asianlgbtnetwork

General where to watch stuff legally:

GMMTV YT

GagaOOLala (subscription service)

Viki

iQiyi

WeTV (finnicky depending on your region)

Viu (need to vpn to Southeast Asia or Middle East)

◇   ◆   ◇

@yilinglaozus​ @dekaja​ @sp8sexual​ you all liked my previous post so now you have to deal with this one too <3

[agape-28]

I wanna hear about how you went from an anti to a larrie (and why you were an anti in the first place)

Buckle up, bestie!! I've already made a post of my origin here, but I don't mind saying it again!!!

I was an anti because I was a part of the general public (I was never a directioner, I probably can't even sing like more than five 1D songs), but since I was ingrained in fandom culture, I've always heard about how "Larries destroyed their friendship". I'm a very volatile, reactionary person; like sometimes I just go search up negative things to fight people LOL. I also had an underlying sense of internalized homophobia, and was very much in my "omg not everything is gay" phase. Additionally, I used to love K-Pop, and I always remember hearing fans say "Just don't act like a Larrie" (aka "make your faves uncomfortable by shipping them" or "actually believe that their relationship is real"). Really, RPF shippers have become synonymous with Larries.

When looking up lyrics and chords for Sweet Creature, I saw how so many Larries existed. And I was like "WTF? Why are there so many of you?" And then I sort of thought, well, if there are so many of you, what could be the reason? So I found myself looking up "harry"/"louis"/"harry louis" on Twitter, and was baffled by the amount of people who tweeted about them were Larries. I also searched up "larry stylinson" on Tiktok.

But it took me a long time to actually believe in Larry, you know? I think it's because, like I said, I was a K-Pop fan. Ships weren't new to me. A lot of idols say “I love you” or other flirty things to one another, so that fans could go wild over them. This is called "fanservice". So I actually thought that they were "Larrybaiting" (I know, I know). I also started looking up Larry on Tumblr, and I fell into a "Twarrie" phase (maybe they were together?). But I still had this sense of doubt because of my dislike for Harry (sorry!), because of how strong and potent his womanizer image was.

I think I accepted its realness around the time AFHF happened. This isn't what totally pushed me to believe it (like I didn't watch this and think YEAH LARRY IS REAL), but I remember watching Louis' GQ video where he discusses his tattoos, and he just... doesn't?? And I was like "Well that's stupid, why participate in this vid if you won't answer?"

Also, people saying like "that's just them being platonically affectionate"... IDK, I'm super platonically affectionate with my friends and we're all fucking gay, but I don't think I ever look at them like how Harry and Louis look at each other. (Shout-out to the X-Factor GIF where Louis was blindfolded and leaned in for a kiss and Harry genuinely looked like he was gonna go for it.)

I also got rid of my "Larrybaiting" thoughts by realizing that One Direction is like... old. LMAO not old in that way, but I was looking at it from a “modern” perspective, which was clouded by how I viewed K-Pop groups. I also thought that "Hmm, isn't it counterintuitive to Larrybait but also insist Larries ruined them?" As much as it sucks, if they weren't real, I think they would be much more bait-y, you know? Like, management would have no reason to be so scared, because they wouldn't be real. And if they truly hated each other, management wouldn't act like that. It's in everyone's best interest to act like they like one another.

in reference to this

[paladinsheadcanons]

feed us the kpop au Ash we know you're holding out on us

I love K-pop so much, i am so sorry, so not only do you get K-pop Ash, you get the entire group. YEAH. With a not-Kpop Tyra because…. why not? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have been actually writing a compilation thing for VVGG/Kpop AU before you sent this, hahaha! I’ve loved Kpop for a long time and I decided to pour in things I know to make an elaborate AU. I hope it’s okay owo

(There’s a short glossary under a readmore in the end of this, in case you’re not into K-pop and you have no clue what I’m talking about)

- mod ash

VVGG is as traditional asany K-Pop group, they were formed by a company consisting of several talents inthe industry after a good amount of training. The group started off with just Ash, Ying, and Skye, and theirdebut album consists of just the three of them, but they released a full albumwhen Evie and Maeve joined.

For their fandom – official name “VERse”, unofficial name “Saltshakers” – theyhave a weekly reality series called VERTV on Youtube and Korean SNS where mediafollows them around on their spare time, doing things like going out to relaxor playing video games with other members. Some of the members are very social-media savvy and also vlog on their own free time, while some of them also had their own fanbases before they got into the group. 

Ash. Leader, Lead Vocals,Lead Rapper

Sheis new to being an idol, but not in the entertainment industry.

Afterleaving her overly uptight military home, she explores other things to dobefore being an entertainer. She’s been a solo singer and rapper for a fewyears before deciding that her vision in music can not be satisfied alone.

Beingthe leader figure of the group she is no-nonsense, confident, anduncompromising, and always wants to “do something different”. However,she’s pretty much just the leader because she’s the oldest and had the mostexperience and training.

She’snot that social media savvy - many of her social media content barely has anyof her in it and mostly just consists of places she went to and things shedoes. It doesn’t help that she usually hides from the cameras when VERTV is onor when someone else is vlogging. Many of her fans are desperate for anycontent for her outside performances.

Shespeaks Korean fluently, and knows basic Russian and English. (read: Russian cursing and elementary-level English) She improves her English as time goes on. 

Ying. Visual, Main Dancer

Sheis trained in theater, and was aiming to become an actress as she was trainingas a dancer but then decided against it and became an idol instead.

She’sconsidered very cute and adorable, and has modeled in several fashion lines asa result, usually wearing the final dresses in fashion shows and being inseveral designers’ lookbooks. The only downside to this is that she goes alittle against the gritty dark concept of the group, being known for her ownbubbly aesthetic, but she learns to adapt to a more elegant, darker look.

Sheloves being the Visual as she gets to explore other activities outside being anidol! Sometimes she still goes back to theater acting when not busy with thebusiness.

Shemostly sticks to Instagram with her social media, and usually the one takingthe most pictures in an event. She also takes very good, aesthetic-y pictures,and always offers to take pictures for the other members.

Primarilyspeaks Korean. She can’t be bothered to learn any other language.

Skye. Face of the Group,Lead Dancer

Aformer child actress, who later became a teenage sensation and began dancingalongside other K-Pop idols. She took a break to train to become a K-Pop idol,and debuted with Ying and Ash as her comeback.

Asthe Face of the Group, she plays along with what her fans like, being veryfanservice-y and being touchy-feely with the other members (when allowed). Sheknows her fans enjoy it, and she also knows that it confuses the hell out ofthem on who she likes. Also vlogs often and participates a lot on VERTVactivities, usually the one suggesting what to do on episode activities.

Herfans have almost literally seen her grow up, especially since she started offas a child actress, and so also have the more critical fans amongst the five ofthem.

SpeaksKorean, and knows a little English.

Evie. Main Vocalist, LeadDancer

Originallya youtube-based performer and singer, she later gotdiscovered by a K-pop idol and was able to perform alongside them in a musicvideo. This catapulted her in the industry, having several gigs to perform withstars, and was later offered to train to be a K-pop idol.

She has little clue about how Korean pop works when coming in, and later discovers that she will have next to noprivate life since almost everything will be recorded for fan consumption. Shejust decides to apply her time as a Youtuber and vlog for her fans often, doingthings like pranking them or doing challenge-style content just to make theexperience a little more pleasant for herself. Also is very active on VERTV episodes. 

Knownto be very cheerful and playful, and many fans still consider her to be thetrue maknae even with Maeve around.

SpeaksKorean and intermediate English, but vastly prefers Korean.

Maeve. Main Rapper,Sub-Vocals, Maknae

Coming from the streets, Maeve came from poverty, being formerly involved in gangs and street crime. Being given a chance to correct her act, she took up rapping instead, which got her discovered to become VVGG’s newest member, and the industry’s best rapper.

Asthe maknae, she doesn’t really fulfill that role very well – she’s wayoutside what you would call cute and bubbly and young. She’s very spunky and rebellious, and even challenged Ash to a rap battle the second she joined. Despite this,many would find it hard to deny she’s one of the best rappers around, hence herbeing the new member of VVGG despite only knowing Korean basics.

Mostlyjust memes on Twitter. She doesn’t check social media much because she gets agood amount of hatemail. She still participates a lot in VERTV activities, though. 

SpeaksFrench and English, and can barely speak Korean when she joined the group,which caused a lot of VVGG fans to dislike her. Eventually, she improves, andusually is designated translator on interviews. She has many fans outside Koreaas a result.

BONUS BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP MYSELF: 

Tyra. She’s not in VVGG, butI wrote her anyway.

AFaroese folk singer, Tyra is popular in many Norse regions for beingexperimental, mostly performing in folk festivals and collaboration concertsexploring genre mixups. Her iconic vocals are somehow both lullaby-like andaggressive, depending on what she’s singing; this is a part of her Faroeseupbringing.

She’salso known as Untamed Music - expressed by her genre-mixing tendenciesand going for more experimental folk. Because she often collabs with other artistsand doesn’t really have a fixed team since she’s very indie, she uses the nameto refer to her work in general.

Outsidethe Nordic regions, most of her fans are either young history/fantasyenthusiasts or old people who likes folk music. She has tours sometimes whileperforming in small stages when she’s not busy with gigs, and often collabswith other artists on Nordic music fests.

Ashreally really likes Tyra’s work. In several episodes of VERTV, Ash has beencaught listening to her music several times. Tyra and Ash met when Skye plotteda meetup in a VERTV episode, when Tyra visited Korea as part of a short Asia tour.

SpeaksFaroese, Norwegian, Swedish and English. Ever since meeting Ash, she startslearning Korean.

BONUS GLOSSARY OF TERMS IN CASE YOU’RE NOT INTO KPOP:

Leader- Usually the oldest in the group, but not always.The title is given to the member who is the most trained or the one with themost experience, and is responsible for speaking for the group and making surethat the group is in order.

Faceof the Group - The most famous/recognisable member. The most iconic member of thegroup that you immediately associate with the group and their concept. Usuallycentered if the leader/visual is not on the center.

Visual- The prettiest or most attractive, at least in K-Pop standards. They’re theone who always go for other acting/commercial gigs outside the group, and is usually centered when the leader/face of the group isn’t. 

Maknae- the youngest, usually the newest member of the group. Most groups have thembe the happy cute, bubbly type.

Main Dancer/Rapper/Vocals - the main dancer/rapper/vocals is the best in the group in that talent.Usually front and center when the song calls for it, e.g. main vocalists havingmore lines, main dancer being center in choreo, main rapper handling most ofthe rap lines.

Lead Dancer/Rapper/Vocals - Good at said talent but not on the Main’s level. They get numerous parts that aren’t difficult to execute like lines that doesn’t have high notes or raps that aren’t that fast. 

Sub-Vocals - isn’t your first pick at singing. Usually have catchy, simpler lines that are usually in English. 

[7wanderingpaws]

8. He Knows. (Another Life)

Genre: soulmate / magic AU

Pairing: Jackson x reader

Word Count: 4.9K

Song: Mazzy Star - Fading Into You

Synopsis: You are more than happy in relationship with Jackson Wang, the hard-working and successful fencer representing Hong Kong. So what happens when you visit a local witch wanting to know more about your future as a couple? Because you always knew he was the right one for you. Even in another life. But would he really be the one?

*** 1. // 2. // 3. // 4. // 5. // 6. // 7-1. // 7.2 // 8. // 9. // 10. // 11.

(( Enjoy! It is one of those longer chapters. There will be altogether 10 parts, so two more to come <3 ))

- - - He Knows - - -

You went to an old café that was quiet and had only a few people in them, most of them working on their laptops. Nobody was paying any attention to you and you couldn't be more relieved.

The steaming cup of chamomile tea was suddenly more interesting than the man sitting opposite you with an iced coffee. You had to smile inside your heart - he always preferred iced beverages since he was feeling half of the time too hot.

"Y/N," Jackson started gently, his eyes soft.

Pressing your lips together, you dared to lift your gaze. You've been craving to hear your name from his mouth. You felt so scared at what he was going to say you could barely keep your attention up.

"I'm not really sure how to start or what to say," he laughed quietly. Wow. So charming. "I don't want to sound stupid-"

"Just say whatever is on your mind."

"You're not an ordinary fan."

That stopped you. What was that supposed to mean? Not an ordinary fan... As in... He thought you were a fan?

"I weirdly remembered your face from the hi-touch event last year. You attended it, right?" he added quickly, suddenly unsure of his own mingled memories.

You nodded. "Yes, I did. Your brain works well."

He smiled. "Okay, I'm glad."

Silence. Awkward.

"You think I followed you?" you asked, cupping the hot cup.

"Followed? Where to?"

"Ehm, didn't you just say that I'm a fan of yours?"

Jackson was totally out of his cool. Maybe it wasn't visible, but he was shaking inside. "Did I? Well, I guess I just wanted to surprise you with this coffee meeting..."

You didn't understand. If he thought you were his fan, why would he want to talk to you at a peaceful place? How on earth would he know your name? Why would he even bother to chase after you in front of the restaurant? Is this how superstars these days work? You doubted that. He must be too busy for this kind of fanservice.

"I am not your fan, Jackson."

There. It was out. Tears were threatening once again because you couldn't keep this distant, formal attitude towards him. You wanted to go home and cuddle- oh wait. You couldn't. Because the person who was your home was a stranger now sitting in front of you. 

You swallowed harshly, your throat burning.

"Then how come-"

"I'm so sorry," you interrupted. "I don't know what you want but I have to go."

The truth was you were so embarrassed about the entire situation and your own feelings towards him. There was no point. It was obvious he was just-

"No, no, please," he said, his hand reaching out to stop you. "Please."

You slowly sat back.

Was this the moment to tell him? Were you supposed to tell him how you felt and what happened? God. You felt so uncomfortable. As 99.99% of you was hoping he would recognise you and share your feelings with you, the disappointment was quite big and overwhelming. Your life had no meaning.

"You said you knew me," you tried. "Do you know me from your fan sign?"

"Hi-touch," he corrected, not meeting your gaze. "I don't really know how to say this."

"Jackson," you whispered. "Do you, by any chance, have feelings for me?"

Jackson didn't show any signs of recognition. Weirdly, this time he was fighting hard to calm his beating heart.

You shook your head when he wouldn't reply right away. "Forget it. Oh my god, how embarrassing," you said, once again standing up and grabbing your bag.

Jackson was on his feet straight away, stopping you. He was standing in front of you, holding your arms at shoulder length. "I do. I don't know how but I do and I know you and I know who you are and what you are doing and..."

You held your breath. Your heart was thundering inside of you, your knees giving out underneath you, your hands shaking uncontrollably. 

His eyes were shifting between yours frantically, in obvious rush to explain his crazy thoughts to your shocked face. “I know that you are a doctor... I-I was kind of looking for you in the hospital,” he breathed out shakily, scratching his neck in obvious embarrassment and discomfort. “You weren’t there and I thought I was going crazy because I just kept having these dreams...”

You painfully gulped needing to hold him. However, you restrained from reaching out. He was here now, standing. Oh my god. He was going through the same as you. He loved you. He had feelings for you. Jesus.

“I am not a doctor,” you managed to say, still keeping the intense eye contact. If anyone had a knife, they could slice the air with it, it was so tensed. You shook your head and smiled. “Unfortunately, I am not.”

He looked confused. “Then how come-”

You sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything more than you.” You sat down again and Jackson did as well taking the seat next to you, relieved you wouldn’t run away from him. “I saw you accidentally on the TV when my friend wanted to show me GOT7. Since then I am almost always having flashbacks of...” your throat went dry as you looked at the abandoned cup, “of our previous life.”

Jackson had such confusing thoughts and feelings that he wanted to keep slapping himself. But he wouldn’t lie if he admitted how over the moon he was when you had the same thoughts as him. You were so close before and now both of you seemed super awkward. He didn’t know what to do.

“Is this normal by any chance?” tried Jackson, leaning on the table with his elbows. “I mean... From some flashbacks I know you went to see a witch.”

You looked into his eyes in surprise. Oh wow, he truly knew those things. “I went to see her two years ago, actually. I needed answers,” you said sheepishly, blushing.

Jackson gave you a soft smile. “Since when is it happening to you? Have you had it all your life?”

You shook your head, your wavy hair dangling. “No, no way. As I said, only a few years.”

He let out a quiet sigh. Only a few years. God, how must that have been when already one year was driving him crazy? “So you travelled all the way to US just to find answers... You never studied at Stanford?”

“No. I wouldn’t be able to afford it even if I would aspire to become a student there. But I guess you might know what a shitty feeling it is to wake up missing something you never knew, so I thought...” you pursed your lips, trying to word your thoughts nicely, “I thought I was the one at fault. If I wouldn’t have gone to the witch that day in Cali, maybe we would still be in the previous life, together.”

You kept quiet about the fact that it wasn’t, indeed, your fault. How was it possible to let him know that he was unhappy and both of you had to relive your lives over again without ever knowing each other so that he could become a successful artist like he always wanted to?

Jackson hastily nodded, fidgeting with his fingers nervously. “Did you find any meaningful answers?”

“Not really,” you lowered your head. “I mean... the witch did recognise me, she knew everything that happened but she couldn’t tell me proper reasons and answers.”

Lie. Lie. Lie.

“I see. So I guess it isn’t anything special then?”

Your heart dropped, a little too painfully. Looking up, you gave the stranger a pressed smile. “Probably not.”

Silence fell over you as both of you were deep in thoughts, contemplating what to say. Neither of you wanted to sound desperate or pushy and so neither of you asked about the next steps you should make.

“Where do you work now?” tried Jackson kindly.

Grabbing the cup with an almost cold chamomile tea, you said: “I’m actually just finishing my masters. With my degree, I guess an accountant would be the most suitable.”

“You don’t sound very excited?” laughed quietly Jackson, analysing your body language. You seemed tensed.

You took a sip. Yep, the tea was indeed cold now. “What can I say? It was the only reasonable way to deal with my future.”

Jackson nodded. That didn’t answer much and despite his own liking, many questions and curiosities were popping up in his mind. He did want to know more about you, since there was a mysterious aura around you. Nothing about you was the same as he remembered. Being almost coldly reserved, he didn’t dare to push you too much with questions

You also nodded. So this was the moment you wanted long ago and yet here you were, unable to muster up some normal conversational points that could make you two grow closer to each other. Weirdly, Jackson was still extremely out-going but something was bugging his mind because of which he kept being quiet. He didn’t change that much.

“Do you speak Korean well now?” you asked, feeling cringy at the stupid question.

He let out a breathy laugh. “Yea, I guess! I mean, I’m still not the best, Korean is not easy at all. But I can survive by now.”

“You still speak other cool languages, so you’re fine,” you teased with a broad smile.

Just for a second, Jackson forgot to breathe when he saw your toothy grin aimed at him. It was such a short moment of surprise, you didn’t notice at all. “True. Chinese is quite useful so I can’t really complain.”

“Oh right. Your Chinese is so good now. Good for you. You do work hard, Jackson,” you exclaimed gently, watching him intently.

“Oh, enough about me. Do you want another tea? Or anything else?” he asked eagerly, already turning to go and order. 

Your hand stopped him. “Oh, no way, thank you. I should go.”

He froze, his eyes big as he was looking at you. “Wait, already? I mean, I understand...” he trailed off, scratching his neck. “Sorry I interrupted your date.”

No! It was not a date! You wanted to shout but what could you say? Another lie? “It's alright. It wasn’t important anyway.”

Jackson was observing you for a moment before he nodded. “Right.”

Silence.

Turning on your chair, you grabbed your jacket and stood up so you could put it on before you felt the jacket being taken away from you and someone else helping you slide your arms into it. Jackson was careful not to touch you even by accident.

“Thank you,” you whispered. You turned to face him and his hands adjusted your collar with a focused frown. Then his eyes snapped at you.

“No problem. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

Your throat went dry as a sudden wave of emotions overtook you. What’s going to happen now? 

“I don’t know,” murmured Jackson gently.

You yelped quietly when you realised you said the question out loud. 

“I don’t know but do you think we could exchange at least numbers?” he suggested, a slight blush creeping into his cheeks.

Your heart was beating fast as you nodded, trying to type your number into his phone with shaky fingers before he took it from you and you dictated him the number. He smirked, entertained with your imbalance. 

I missed you. I missed you so much. Please, don’t go. Stay just for a little longer.

“Thanks. I’ll keep this one safe as a treasure. I also hope you won’t give it out to anyone,” he said, embarrassed again.

“Of course not. I guess you have to change numbers quite frequently anyway.” In which case I will lose the contact on you pretty quickly, you added in your mind.

“Yes, that part kind of sucks.”

You both laughed, both of you standing closer to each other. Other customers could imagine you just shared a sweet little secret that made both of you giggle. 

As you calmed down, you smiled once again. “Then, I’ll take my leave.” 

You bowed your head slightly, feeling stupid at this formal attitude once again when all you ever knew was how to be silly with him and do all the possible things a man and a woman can do. 

You wondered when will be the next time your paths would cross as you were now outside on the quiet dark street, trying to catch a cab home. 

It was rather sooner than later because a car pulled up at the curb and the window was rolled down. You were surprised to see Jackson as the driver, his brother who asked you for the nappies in the restaurant on the passenger seat and baby giggles coming from the backseat, most probably from baby Aimee.

“We will take you home,” winked Jackson at you and he nodded his head to the backseat. “Unless you truly hate children, but I don’t recall you do.”

You gave out an amused laugh and in your heels rushed around the back of the car to sit next to the cute little baby. As you closed the door behind you, Jackson made sure you are all good before taking off self-confidently.

He was always a good, skilful driver so you weren’t feeling even a little bit unsafe.

Aimee was looking up at you with big, curious eyes and you couldn’t believe she was actually there next to you after knowing her from different circumstances.

“I wasn’t even aware that you and Jackson know each other,” said Winston from the front, laughing. “It would have been such a shame if you guys didn’t meet each other at the restaurant.”

You fell silent, not knowing how to respond. Instead, you just laughed and agreed cheerfully, just like Jackson was.

“We know each other since high school,” blurted out Jackson, seemingly surprised at his own words. He immediately shut up, preferring to pay attention to the road (although his eyes kept stealing glances at you in the rear-view mirror).

“Right, that’s true,” you agreed once again. Your entire insides were heating up, needing you to cross your legs. God. 

Winston, however, didn’t notice anything. “That’s amazing. Then I guess it was just meant to happen.”

Now, you were totally out, without a single doubt. Your eyes accidentally met with Jackson's in the mirror, and he quickly averted them, coughing loudly in the process.

Yes, Jackson, make it less awkward for us.

Entertaining Aimee was what you found more convenient at that moment.

Shanghai, China, 2016

It was almost New Years time. Everything was festive, everything was bright and everything was quite cold. 

As you were smiling at the toddler in front of you, you felt someone pushing something down your head.

“Don’t move, or else it won’t fit, baby Y/N,” said Jackson in a child-like voice from above. He pressed the heavy knit sweater down your head making you look like a ghost.

Aimee started to giggle at the sight, clapping her chubby little hands.

Jackson took one of your hands to slide one arm, then the other through the sleeves. After he was finished, he made sure to comb your hair with his long fingers. He pushed some strands behind your ear and eventually patted you, sitting down next to you to give you a loud kiss on the cheek. “I can’t have my girl freezing.”

The butterflies in your stomach came alive as you looked at him. Aimee was still happily talking in her own baby language when you grabbed Jackson's face to squish it and eventually give him a kiss on the lips. “My man is always taking good care of me.”

He smiled as he leaned in for another kiss.

“Tu-tu-tu-tu.”

“Right,” you both murmured, separating from each other before you could let your passionate side show in front of a few months old baby.

“What should we do with you, hm?” asked Jackson, placing his hands on his hips. “Mummy and daddy are gone, grandma and grandpa are gone. You are stuck with these weirdos in their twenties who have no idea about kids.”

You snickered, taking the baby girl out of her little seat and to hold her. She seemed quite satisfied in your arms, not fidgeting. “She is a good girl, we can manage.” You kissed the top of her head.

Jackson took out his iPhone and aimed it at you, making pictures.

“No, babe, I look super bad today,” you whined, reaching out to take it away from him.

He let out an exceptionally loud, high-pitched scream as he avoided your contact. “No, I’m saving these because you both look gorgeous,” he said in a fake British accent which made you giggle.

Aimee was just looking up at you until her hands reached out to caress your neck. Very quickly they found your breasts under the thick sweater and bra. She squeezed hardly, already pushing her tiny face into your chest.

Your eyebrows skyrocketed upwards in surprise along with Jackson before he burst out into fit of laughters.

“Oh, no, Aimee darling, I’m not mama,” you said quickly, trying to gently push her away so you could grab her little bottle with mother's milk Winston's wife left behind.

Jackson however recovered and ran to the kitchen to get the needed food. “I'll warm it up,” shouted Jackson from the kitchen. 

You managed to stand up, Aimee still grabbing your breasts. You followed your love. “Babe, don’t forget to heat it up-”

“In the water, yes, I know, baby,” he said with a cheeky smile as he was filling up the dish with appropriate amount of water before placing it on the stove to warm it up. He looked at you and how you kept giggling at Aimee's actions.

“Aimee, come to uncle. We shouldn’t scare Y/N that much about babies just yet,” he said as he reached out for the baby girl. As she was taken by Jackson, her face scrunched up and started to wail. Loudly. Into Jackson's chest. 

“Oh no, just a little bit longer, darling,” said Jackson caressing her head lovingly. “Your milk will be all yours. You don’t have to share with us, okay?”

Your heart swelled at the sight as you were adjusting your shirt. The sight of Jackson with kids was always giving you a special amount of fluttering butterflies in your stomach. There was something about him caring so much about the little life in his hands, how he looked at them with endearing eyes. 

He was looking at you now, smirking. “What is it, babe? Cat stole your tongue?”

You shook your head and rushed to put the baby's bottle into the warm water. “I got carried away.”

“Wow, do I look so handsome?”

You looked behind your shoulder at his cheeky smile and he gave you a seductive wink before he changed to a cute puppy for baby Aimee. You sighed, turning your attention to the bottle. Damn him.

The milk was ready and you and Jackson sat down on the big comfy couch, Aimee being back in your embrace. You held up the bottle for her and she almost choked, she was sucking so fast. You laughed loudly. She would still keep her face close to your chest though.

“Little angel,” you whispered and leaned back into Jackson's side.

He had an arm around you as he was watching the baby, also bewitched.

“What did you mean when you said you didn’t want to scare me with babies just yet?” you quipped quietly as Aimee's eyes were drooping.

Jackson looked at your side profile. “Just as I said it.” He nuzzled his head into your neck and gave you a little kiss. “I know it’s beautiful to have kids, especially with the one you really love,” he rasped as you turned your head to look at him, “but I know it can be scary for women who are not interested in having kids yet.”

You nodded, observing his face. “Look at you, being all thoughtful as always.”

He gave you a handsome smile and squeezed your back. “She is almost sleeping now.”

You both fell silent. Aimee was just about to finish her milk but she was heavily sleeping. 

“I would love to have your kids,” you whispered after some while.

Jackson froze, his heart beating super fast despite being unable to move at the electricity that thundered through his body at the idea.

“I hope we will have our own family one day,” you continued. 

He gulped, but his throat was dry. He looked at the sleeping baby, then at the arms holding her and eventually at your face that was focused elsewhere.

He grabbed your face gently not to wake the baby, and turned your face to kiss you. You smiled and opened your mouth to let him in as he quickened the kiss, showing you his sudden urge. “You are the only woman I can imagine having my kids.”

You giggled silently as he bit your lower lip. He played with your lips before he pushed his tongue in, making you whimper silently. You wanted to wrap your hands around his neck but the sleeping baby wouldn’t let you.

“Let’s put her in her crib,” suggested Jackson into your lips. You leaned in to steal one more kiss before you sat up carefully.

“Are you okay with holding her?” asked Jackson, standing up.

You smiled at him, nodding. “Yes.”

Once you managed to put her safely into her place, you made sure you leave the empty bottle in her hands. You knew better than to take things they loved from them. Anything to make them sleep.

As soon as you were free, Jackson was grabbing your hand, pulling you towards the guests’ bedroom where you stayed. “We have got business to finish,” he whispered into your ear.

Your insides churned, making your knees go weak.

“Or you know what? Screw that. The house is ours now,” he said suddenly, pushing you into the nearby wall. For a moment you were surprised but once you felt his neck kisses, you moaned grabbing his face to have those lips for yourself. “Keep it quiet, we don’t want to wake the baby, do we,” murmured Jackson and sinfully grabbed your butt, hoisting up. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Then take me to the bedroom already,” you breathed feverishly. “I swear today I don’t want to hold back.”

Jackson moaned at the simple thought, making his way to the bedroom right away.

Neither of you knew exactly what your heated moment was about. Whether it was the peacefully sleeping baby in the other room or just the pure love for each other, the important thing was that you had each other.

Hong Kong, 2016

 Winston insisted that he and Aimee should be dropped off first before Jackson would take you home. Jackson is taking me home, you thought. What a surreal feeling. 

At first you weren’t sure what to say to him as both of you were alone once again.

“You still live at your old place, right?” asked Jackson as he was making his way through the dense traffic. What a curse for Hong Kong. Even at midnight there was traffic.

“No,” you answered, looking out the window at cheerful people. Just then you realised that you lived in a rather shabby area in Kowloon. You preferred Jackson not seeing it. He must have had all the luxurious things at the moment, he would immediately judge-

You stopped yourself right there. If, by any chance, Jackson was the same person that you knew, he wouldn’t judge you, nor anyone. He never judged, unless someone would hit their mother. Yup, that would set him off for sure.

You told him the address and he nodded, trying to hide the shock. 

“How are your parents doing?” he asked as if nothing happened.

“Thank you, they are okay,” you answered, trying to be as short as possible about them. “Do you know there is this awesome park up the hill that-”

“gives amazing view of the city?” he finished, shooting you an exciting look.

You smiled, nodding. “Yes, I actually discovered it recently and I fell in love with it right away.”

Ugh. You wanted the ride to be over so much. The stupid small talk was not working for you; you preferred silence over words that meant nothing.

Thankfully, the entire ride was filled with Jackson's cheerful remarks about surrounding parks of Hong Kong that not many people knew about. Phew. You could just enjoy his voice that you missed oh so dearly. His raspy, deep voice that had a unique colouring made you feel relaxed. Videos made zero justice to his voice in real life.

Once he stopped the car in front of one of the gazillion apartment houses, the car fell into silence that was too loud as the purring of the motor was absent.

“Thank you so much,” you spilled, unfastening your belt. “I really appreciate the bother all the way here. You must be tired anyway.”

“It was absolutely my pleasure, Y/N,” he said, his head turned towards you. 

You pressed your lips together. “I'll get going now.” Your throat, without your permission, tightened, emotions overwhelming you. Now was the time to say your final goodbyes. “I’m glad we got to talk. I wish your parents good health and to you all the best with your music career.”

You gave him one last smile before any of your tears could fall. Opening the door, you got out of the car and closed the door behind yourself. Walking across the empty street you realised he hadn’t even said anything.

Oh well. He must have been happy to be finally free from you.

You heard quick steps behind your back, your heart racing for a second thinking it was a thief when Jackson appeared in front of you, making you stop abruptly.

“Y/N,” he breathed.

“Yes, Jackson?” you looked up at him.

Jackson had a flashback. What happened that time in the bathroom when he kissed you and it wasn’t even real. He was scared you were not real either this time. That’s why he just stared into your eyes intently, figuring out what to do next.

“I don’t know if I want you to leave me just yet,” he said finally. “There is something...” he huffed throwing his hands around. “Are you real?” he asked.

You were confused. “What do you mean?”

“Are you real? This is not another vision, right?” asked Jackson, hungry for answers, desperate for reality to be true. 

“Yes, I am. I am me. You are you,” you said, observing his face. 

His hands fell to his sides as he took a step closer to you. You didn’t even flinch, daring to look up into his eyes boldly. His face was dark because the street lamp was right behind him and he still looked so enchanting to you, with that blonde hair pushed back out of his strong face. You quietly anticipated his next step when he reached out his hand ever so carefully in case it would scare you away. When you didn’t move, he touched your cheek, the gentlest of the gentle. 

“I found you,” he whispered and you closed your hurting eyes, letting the tears roll down your flushed cheeks. “We finally found each other.”

You swallowed harshly, opening your eyes to find his face a little closer to yours. You held your breath, your insides burning. 

“Can I -” he stopped and his eyes fell to your lips. “Is it okay to kiss you? Just so I can make sure you are truly real,” he murmured and your knees almost gave out.

“Please,” you whimpered. You wanted him to come closer, to lean in, to make the first move. You were waiting for so long, you desperately needed him to do all of it, just so you knew it was with his own will, with his own mind.

And then, it happened.

The magic.

The click.

The stars aligned.

The world made sense.

Jackson kissed you. His fingers tangled in your hair as he pulled you closer, capturing your lower lip in the most sensual way. He knew all the details about you, and you knew exactly how he would do it. When you bended, he adjusted. When he straightened, you hugged. It was all so perfectly thought out there was no match like that in the world.

You let out a satisfied breath and you swore you could hear fireworks in the back. Or it was just the explosions in your stomach. How would you know, when the man you loved, you longed for was finally watering you with his passion, his own emotions.

The Gobi desert was nothing compared to you and Jackson. But now, finally together, it felt as if batteries have been charged, all the green returned to the dead trees, the flowers were blooming and even the dead souls were cheering in your favour. It literally...

Clicked.

Jackson pulled away, giving you a final kiss, making you giggle. You held his hands for dear life but he wouldn’t have let go of them anyway.

“Y/N,” he said quietly. 

You smiled up at him. You were alight, you were shining, you were radiating. 

“I can’t stay with you,” he said finally.

And with that, the magic was broken.

- - - continue - - -

[liikeglitterandgcld]

ooc. hey remember yang? excuse my shitastic graphic but hot dang son! 

A WHOLE YEAR TODAY?! ╰( ･ ᗜ ･ )╯ 

7/15/17 is when I made my multimuse public! While I had other single muse blogs before, this is my first multimuse, hopefully my only, but i don’t know that. To be quite frank I didn’t think I would last two months, let alone a year. That’s an accomplishment, to me most of all. 

and I’m not going to lie, sometimes I’ve had some major doubts if it would be easier if I made individual blogs for my muses, but I stuck it to. Yeah I’ve had some hiccups, some ups and downs, and one hiatus that went for a.... over a month.... but real talk, i think this is the first blog in recent memory, where i honestly enjoy being on here, more so than on my single muse blogs

and that is largely due to my mutuals. so before i become even more gross with emotion, i sincerely want to thank all my mutuals, i want to give special thanks to these people in particular below, that have endured my fat, and frankly pain in the ass self—but seriously every single of my mutuals deserves a medal for waiting ever so patiently waiting for a reply, be it a meme or thread

@darkprinceofjustice​ — iirc I you’re the very first final fantasy blog of noctis  to follow me back and the first ff blog that i. came across to KNOW the tales of games. Especially of tales of berseria! I wouldnt ever come to ship our muses—to ship these characters AT ALL to the point where you talks to me extensively on discord knows that ship has consumed my entire soul—if you didn’t talk to me ooc, or even follow me. despite how we both have certain opinions on certain things, i still consider you one my friends  ヽ(*´∀`)ﾉﾞ

@emily-lutus​ — another long time follower and friend ヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ who tolerates a lot of my bullshit. who would’ve thought that agreeing to make a particular muse jealous who spiral into our muses into friends with benefits to ‘where have you been all my life, i love you’! Holy hell I would never expect Velvet to fall deeply and become so frecken attached to Emily to the point she doesnt like sharing! Or vice versa for that matter. if i ever were to consider exclusives for ships, emily would be first on velvet’s list. i legit love talking to you and creating so, so many aus with you! and know you first hand who aggravating horny muses can be. seriously, i consider you as one my close friends, and i genuinely do like emily a lot, despite well... you know

@welkinite / @kharlani — FAFNIR!! ╰(✧∇✧)╯ You lore hound you! I honestly love how you put so much thought and compliment canon to Zaveid! It’s always a blast talking to you. We def need to do more threads, esp with Paine & noctis bc reasons. Srsly we def need to throw some ideas into ffxv & tob/toz. There are way too many similarities between them and im over the moon that someone else notices it too!  Also, also.... legit.... I honestly do want to see Zaveid & Ardyn swap clothes... just think of the fanservice :y

@rosenguard — yoooo! another long follower! ヽ(*´∀`)ﾉﾞ i don’t care what others might say if you’re aerith is too ooc (you know my muses are ooc too much as well, so we can be ooc togther!) but i honestly love your aerith as does my noctis I think i like her more now ever since i followed you :’D  I enjoy rping with you, even when my muses didn’t click with her aerith. tbqh  im shocked how well and how fast noctis and aerith clicked! im looking forward to more of dat aerith/noctis goodness!

@somnusvincitomnia — we don’t talk a lot ooc, but i absolutely love, love your noctis! you have so many headcanons about noctis —especially him being depressed ball of fluff. i still love him regardless— that i honestly agree, with some that i never thought or put more thought into! him and paine need to hang more

@forsaken--lullaby — Sil!!!! ヽ(；▽；)ノ we havent followed for long but you are so dang positive! If it were possible I would give you all the hugs bc of the crap that you’ve dealt with and continuing to deal with. YOU DESERVE ALL OF THE HUGS! You’re also another blog that I love seeing on my dash. one of the these days we need connor & sophie interacting. let her adopt him.

@e0nian — it’s always a joy to see you pop up! ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪  you deserve even more special thanks! you gave nadia a thread and i’m just so thankful, because she is so weirdly fickle yet picky! even though gabriel is an ass, i love seeing him and nadia interact

there’s no shortage people i want to thank but that would this post even longer than it! just know i appreciate every last one on you! im looking forward to another year on here. you all make it worth it do so

[jippy-kandi]

Digimon Adventure tri. – Chapter 3: Confession | Sorato

My thoughts on everything Sorato in the third chapter of tri..

Finally. FINALLY. I have forced myself to re-watch Confession. (OK, I really just skimmed it. Hee. So if I missed anything, please let me know and I’ll add it in!)

This is about Chapter 3: Confession and NOT Chapter 4: Loss. Yes, I am behind. Loss will hopefully be done … within a month. Maybe. Let’s say at least before Chapter 5: Symbiosis! ;D (hahaha. orz)

This post is strictly about Sorato. I don’t write about Confession as a whole – if you’d like to read my thoughts on the film, you may do so at this post right here. (Spoiler: The film made me a certified Takeru fangirl. I still don’t know how to feel about that.)

Anyway! On to Sorato. The first “Sorato scene” happens at school in a classroom. (I forgot what Meiko is apologising for, because I don’t care. Hee.)

Meiko: Um … sorry for making you … Taichi: Ah, forget about it. Yamato: *Cold.* No. Don’t make us worry so much. Meiko: My apologies. Sora: *Smiling.* It’s OK! What Yamato really wants to say is he was worried! Taichi: He’s quite conflicted. Mimi: You’re such a tundra*. Yamato: No! You can’t speak Japanese.

(*Note: Mimi is saying “tsundere” wrong. A “tsundere” is someone who acts cold on the outside, but is really caring on the inside.)

I love this scene. It’s very short, but also very satisfying. Sora translating Yamato-speak is probably the most “couple-y” thing yet in tri. (in regards to Sorato). Of course, they’re friends, so Sora knows Yamato well (and the line definitely reflects that) – but the act of it is such a typical couple thing to do. So at least the tri. writers inserted this scene in when given the opportunity. :p

I also love that Mimi basically says what Sora is implying (that Yamato is a “tsundere”), but Yamato doesn’t attack Sora (he’s so nonchalant about her comment, like it doesn’t bother him), but does attack Mimi. Oh, you’re playing favourites, Yamato. ;)

This conversation is also “continued” a little later during the scene about the kids letting the digimon outside (despite the risk of infection). Everyone pretty much wants to let their digimon out, but Yamato was against it at first.

Mimi: Yamato-san, what’ll you do? Nothing, since it’s high risk? Yamato: Gabumon’ll have a grudge if he’s the only one left! Mimi: Right, you say it like you have no choice. Sora: *Teasing.* But you’re actually happy, right? Mimi: You tundra*! (*Tsundere.) Yamato: I said that’s not Japanese!

And Yamato yet again lets Sora’s comment slide, and attacks Mimi yet again. Both girls are teasing him, but he only attacks Mimi. I love it. I love the “joke” between Mimi and Yamato, but I also love how they included Sora to compare and contrast how Yamato acts differently towards the two. It seems so small and insignificant, but I really like this little insight shown into their different dynamics.

Later, Yamato goes and visits Takeru at his place. (Off-Topic: I wish Natsuko had popped in and showed Yamato some affection … I really love Natsuko/Yamato, OK?)

Takeru: What made you turn up? Yamato: Oh … well … Takeru: You fought with Taichi-san again? Yamato: *Defensive, angry.* I didn’t fight with him. Takeru: With Sora-san, then? Yamato: *Incredulous.* Why would I fight with her? Takeru: With Jou-san? Mimi-san? Yamato: Why do you think I must have fought with someone? Takeru: Isn’t that your way?

I love that:

1. Sora is the second name Takeru brings up, which lets you know how close she is to Yamato in relation to the others. (Taichi is of course the first name Takeru brings up because … if Yamato were to argue with anyone, Taichi is definitely his #1 sparring partner, let’s be real.)

2. Yamato’s actual response to being asked if he fought with Sora is said in such an incredulous tone. Like, why in the world would I fight with my girlfriend Sora??? You make no sense, bro.

So much love. ^_^

(I’m sure he does fight with her sometimes though … lol, perfection doesn’t exist, come on.)

This next bit may not seem like Sorato at first glance … but it totally is. It’s also very deliberate, though subtle and easy to miss by casual fans. But when you think about the thought that had to have gone in to it from the staff – to have executed it – you realise it was very deliberate.

The scene(s) I’m talking about is when we get a little collection (almost like a montage) of “moments” between the digimon and their respective Chosen partner as they prepare to see them for the “last” time. They all go to say goodbye to the kids (without the kids knowing that it’s a goodbye).

So, Gabumon goes and visits Yamato and asks him to play his harmonica for obvious nostalgic reasons. Yamato takes out his harmonica and starts playing his second character theme song from the first season, “Run With The Wind #2” (which is the tune he plays on his harmonica all throughout the first season).

The really awesome thing about this part? You continue to hear Yamato play his theme song as the scene goes to Sora and Piyomon having their “moment”. Sora and Piyomon have this conversation:

Piyomon: Hey … Sora. What’s your dream for the future? Sora: Why the sudden question? Piyomon: I suddenly wanted to ask! Sora: I’m too occupied with things now to think about the future. Like, worrying about Koushirou-kun’s health. Piyomon: I want to hear about you! Sora: *Blushing.* Oh, I’ll pass. Talking about the future at this age? Piyomon: Talk about it! Sora: *Still blushing.* Hmm, should I talk about it? Piyomon: Yeah! Sora: Actually, I’ll pass. Piyomon: Jeez! (Scene goes to Gomamon and Jou.) Gomamon: You want to introduce your girlfriend? Jou: Yeah! You’re my partner. (Yamato’s theme song stops playing.)

Throughout Sora and Piyomon’s entire “goodbye” scene, Yamato is still playing his theme song. Another song entirely plays in the background for the other kids as the scene changes from Sora/Piyomon to Jou/Gomamon, Hikari/Tailmon, Mimi/Palmon, Taichi/Agumon and Takeru/Patamon. If that’s not enough, this is why it’s obviously deliberate:

1. It’s a throwback to the end of Episode 26 (Sora’s Crest of Love episode and the START OF THE SORATO FORESHADOWING), where Yamato plays this tune on his harmonica with Sora shown in the background in the same shot (which is immediately after Sora is shown in a shot with all the other kids except Yamato – which serves to single out the shot with just her and Yamato even more). You know, that Sorato shot. If you’re a Sorato fan and you’re reading this, you know exactly what I’m talking about. ;)

(Loss cements that this was a deliberate throwback – because there were so many throwbacks in the fourth film, I almost felt like they ran out of original ideas, what with the amount of times they hit us in the face with nostalgia, lol.)

2. The topic of the conversation Sora and Piyomon are having is about her future. Now, in their actual conversation, you don’t know specifically what Sora is thinking about or holding back on – but the scene still definitely implies her future with Yamato (especially as she’s blushing for an undisclosed reason). This is definitely deliberate because tri. KNOWS that YOU know Sora’s future – that she ends up with Yamato in the 02 epilogue.

So when you add it all up with the fact that Yamato’s theme only plays for himself and Sora (and not the others), and the fact that the 02 epilogue is the endgame with a Sorato marriage … come on, connect the dots. What’s more, Yamato’s theme song actually stops a few seconds into the Jou/Gomamon scene, right after Gomamon and Jou’s respective opening lines: “You want to introduce your girlfriend?” & “Yeah! You’re my partner.”

Yes, Jou and Gomamon have nothing to do with Sorato – but man, the girlfriend and partner lines. They’re essentially implying that Sora will be Yamato’s future girlfriend (and each other’s partners). Which, again, is something that we already know – and that’s why it works!

And thus tri. just used music as a foreshadowing device … OK tri., I am impressed. Well done. I didn’t expect this from you. But then, you pretty much blew my expectations with Confession on a whole. (The tri. films definitely peaked with Confession in my opinion – by a long shot, too. I wish the other three had been at its calibre.)

It’s at least a *wink wink* from tri.!

(Think about it. Why did Yamato’s character theme song NOT stop playing after his scene? Why was Sora’s scene – and not one of the other kids’ – even NEXT after Yamato’s? Why did Yamato’s theme stop playing shortly after Sora’s scene ended – after Gomamon’s “girlfriend” line and Jou’s “partner” line? Why didn’t the other kids get Yamato’s theme over their scenes as well? That’s a lot of thought put into something so small. Thanks, tri..)

Later on, we have the moment where – after the Digital World is rebooted – all the kids randomly get the “sense” to meet up. And then decide to go to the Digital World. (I still think that was weird, but whatevs. Confession succeeded on so many levels that I can forgive its few faults, unlike with the other tri. films …)

Well, when the kids all meet up, they all seem to be in “pairs”; Taichi and Hikari show up together, as do Jou and Mimi, Takeru and Koushirou – and Sora and Yamato.

Now. Taichi and Hikari were shown to be together. Were Jou and Mimi hanging out? I guess they could be. It’s also been established that Takeru and Koushirou hang out a lot. So it’s at least implied that Sora and Yamato were hanging out together prior to meeting up “randomly” with the others. (I wouldn’t call it a date though … because “high school is complicated” lmfao.)

I liked it – especially since Sora and Yamato looked super cute running together. :p (And yes, I think running together to the meeting and thus showing up together was very deliberate – there are so many blink-and-miss scenes of Takari touching for fanservice, that even little insignificant things are done deliberately.)

Then when they’re about to go to the Digital World, we have this awesome scene where Sora hesitates:

Mimi: What’s wrong? Sora: It’s a bit scary … Jou: I’ve been thinking about this since Gomamon disappeared. That I should work hard so he can’t laugh at me next time I see him. It’s all right. Yamato: *Approaches Sora and places a hand on her shoulder in comfort/support.*

MY SORATO HEART. <3

I want to correct something that some fans have attributed to Yamato. “It’s all right” is said by Jou, and not Yamato. Their voices are completely different! Jou sounds like an old man! Yamato sounds like a hottie! (lol.) HOW CAN YOU MISTAKE THEM? (Well, I know how; the scene shows Yamato when Jou’s voice is heard. Easy mistake.) But Yamato doesn’t say anything when he places his hand on Sora’s shoulder; you are still hearing Jou talking. Yamato doesn’t need words, fools. He has the power of A HAND.

(I’m joking.)

;D

lol. Seriously though, it wasn’t Yamato. It was Jou. And I faintly thought that the scene could’ve been a very mild throwback to the Dark Cave scene, because it was Yamato and Jou who helped Sora back from her darkness in the first season. Now that Loss has come out, literally filled to the brim with nostalgic throwbacks? Yep, I definitely think it was a small throwback to the Dark Cave scene to have Yamato and Jou supporting Sora here. Pretty neat.

Can we all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Yamato was being openly affectionate towards Sora in front of others in public? This is the guy who is usually “cold” in appearance and would rather not show any form of affection in public. And he did it for Sora in front of the others! He knew he had an audience and did it anyway (you can feel the “spotlight” on the moment too, which Yamato would’ve been aware of). ;D

(You have to ignore the fact that Yamato had his arms around Sora on at least three different instances in 02 though – but tri.!Yamato never touched Sora up to this point, hence the significance of it. :D)

Also, the fact that Yamato can comfort Sora with just a touch (and no words) pleases me greatly. I love the look of surprise on her face when he touches her. Yamato, you touch me in public, bae? :D (LOL.)

I just loved the scene a lot, even though it was so brief. It gave you another glimpse into their friendship/relationship. I think I read (ages ago, when the movie first came out, lol) someone trying to say “It’s just friendship” … well, yes, of course? Most shipping is just friendship. The difference between all the “shipping” scenes in tri. is that Sorato actually end up together. So all the Koumi, Takari, Taito, etc. scenes? They don’t foreshadow anything (in regards to a romantic relationship happening).

But the Sorato scenes actually do.

Why? Well, simply because of the fact that Sora and Yamato end up together. Everything between them thus goes towards building their endgame relationship. You can’t say the same for the other ships, simply because they’re not endgame. Takari will not happen. Koumi will not happen. It’s all fanservice! (Please don’t respond to me if you think differently regarding the other ships – you’re entitled to your opinion, and I have no interest in debating it with you. ;))

Heck, Sorato might not even “happen” by the end of tri. – but everything that happens between them still counts towards their future romantic relationship, because we know how it all ends up in the 02 epilogue. That’s the difference.

Well, that’s all the Sorato in Confession! (Unless I missed something – in which case, do tell me.) There wasn’t a lot in this chapter (or any of the other chapters, lol), but I still loved and appreciated all of it. I wish we were given more, but hey, what can you do? :p

I have more to say about Sorato and how it’s being handled, where it’s headed, etc. But I’ll save it for the Loss post … which will come soon. XP

(No one believes me, lmfao.)

[blazehedgehog]

Since it's the game's 20th anniversary, what do you think of Final Fantasy 7

A lot of people say that your first game in a milestone genre will always be your favorite. That’s not true.

Before I played Final Fantasy VII, I played and finished Earthbound, Chrono Trigger, and Super Mario RPG. I was also about halfway through Final Fantasy 4 on the SNES.

Maybe that’s just my weird history with RPGs, and with games in general. I finished Earthbound and Chrono Trigger, sure, but I did so using my Game Genie so I could level up to 99 on the first battle and then coast through the story at my own pace. I had gotten Final Fantasy VII for Christmas 1997, and cheat devices like the Game Genie didn’t really exist for the console yet – and if they did, they were in limited stock.

So, technically, FF7 was the first Final Fantasy I completed without cheating. It is the first time a “traditional” JRPG really clicked in to place for me and I understood all of its systems. (when a friend originally showed me his copy of Final Fantasy 4 sometime in 1993, I thought “hit points” were a way to describe the number of places on an enemy’s body they could be struck; points to be hit)

And when I say I played Final Fantasy VII, I mean I played it. I enveloped myself in that game for almost a year and a half, maybe even more. I maxed my in-game clock out at 99 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds. It doesn’t go any higher than that. I’d come home from school, load up Final Fantasy VII, and wander around the world map, revisiting towns, retracing dungeons and re-talking to every NPC hoping to find a new piece of dialog I’d missed. I did every quest, killed every boss, and mastered most of the materia. Every single party member had all of their limit breaks, and most of them were at level 99 (or, at the very least, above 70). I remember the moment when I stumbled upon Lucrecia’s cave; I was getting bored, thinking I wasn’t going to find anything new after I’d cleared the game, and here was this huge piece of narrative about the role Vincent played in Sephiroth’s origins. It blew my mind.

The very first website I made in high school was about theories for resurrecting Aeris Gainsborough. I scoff at the idea of “waifus” nowadays, but back in high school, I guess that’s what Aeris was to me. Tifa? Tifa was too fanservice-y. Too transparently sexualized. She felt like the one the developers wanted you to lust after. That was just a turn off to me. Aeris was more decidedly more plain, giving her a down-to-earth feeling. In a game with an explicit dating sim sequence where your previous actions determine who you go on a date with, I had obviously picked Aeris. (though I was obsessive enough that once I learned you could also date Tifa, Yuffie and even Barret, I replayed the game up to those points just to satisfy pure curiosity)

It was the first physical video game soundtrack I owned. I even picked up the “Reunion” orchestral CD.If you check my Soundcloud page, I’ve taken to remastering more than a few tracks from the PC version of the game. I think Final Fantasy VII’s soundtrack holds the most emotional connections for me.

I drowned myself in the world of Final Fantasy VII for as long as I could. I exhausted everything about that game. I love it to death, even though I freely admit it’s not objectively the best game. I love it in spite of its flaws.

It’s a bummer what Square-Enix did to the Final Fantasy franchise. I haven’t connected with a single thing they’ve done with the FF7 lore since that first game (as much as something called Final Fantasy Seven could be “first”). Every attempt they’ve made to expand that world, to add on to it, has been an embarrassment, and emblematic of everything I don’t like about Tetsuya Nomura’s Final Fantasy post-FF7. The trend towards hollow realism, the ever-increasing linearity, the bizarre obsession with fashion and paying homage to Japanese Pop Musician “Gackt”… not a single part about any of that was ever even remotely for me, and it all culminated in the trainwreck known as Final Fantasy VII Advent Children.

Just a few weeks ago, I finally forced myself to watch the Blu-ray version of Advent Children (the “complete” version with all of the extra footage added) and it was laughable. I wrote a short review for it on IMDB (you can read it here), but needless to say I did not enjoy myself.

Which brings us to Final Fantasy VII Remake. In the context of Dirge of Cerberus, Crisis Core and Advent Children, In the context of what we’ve already seen about the Remake, and how much it’s changing, how far it’s pushing itself to follow in the same stylistic footsteps as Advent Children, I honestly dread it. I have a cursory interest in seeing it (because of how much the original meant to me), and I’m willing to give it a chance, but the early impressions I have for the game as it stands right now are not positive ones. It is drawing too much attention to negative bedfellows, and making too many arbitrary changes. When you say the words “Final Fantasy VII Remake” to me, that is not the game I picture in my head.

Assuming it’s even coming out any time soon. It’s been almost two years since Square-Enix has shown anything in motion, and if it doesn’t make an appearance at this year’s E3, I think it’s safe to assume it’s going to suffer a similar fate as Final Fantasy XIII.