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#but sometimes itll just randomly not
skitskatdacat63 · 9 months
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God my language classes annoy me so much. Both are such busy work yknow? I finished all my German assignments when they were due so that's fine, but it got so low effort by the end cause ik he doesn't really read them. But with Russian, I have a lot of unfinished work and I'm kinda tentatively doing it even tho the semester is over 😭😭 she's so lax and disorganized, so I have no idea what her grading will be like. It's like, will she just give me an obligatory 100(as was practice the prev classes) or like should I do these as assurance yknow 😭
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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#just turning over the idea of executive functioning issues in my head part by part. impulse control. im extremely tightly controlled. im the#best at control. the only times im impulsive is when someone asks me something and my brain doesn't work well in the moment so i tend to b#like fuck it: says something that might fuck me over later bc im like whatever itll prob b fine lol. but mostly not an issue. emotional#control. i dont lash out at ppl except myself i guess. ill sometimes have freak out meltdowns bc i get so frustrated with myself plus mood#weirdness. so not great. flexible thinking. im pretty rigid. if plans randomly change theres like a 1 in 3 chance ill freak out and start#crying and it takes me a long time to adjust to the idea that i have to chsnge something. and things tend to have to b a certain way#not for any reason in particular. thats just how it has to b. i have to eat the same foods. operate at the same times. do thr same things.#thats just how it is. and i find it difficult in social situations to adapt to the flow of convention bc its like but we're talking abt thi#now but something just interrupted and we aren't going abck to that thing. i dont make it other ppls problem but its uncomfortable for me.#working memory. my memory is pretty fucked. self monitoring. im good at that. too good. im pathologically self reflective. planning &#prioritizing. i can plan but i cant prioritize for shit. i will spiral for hours doing nothing bc i can't decide what comes 1st.#task initation. im good at torturing myself into getting things done but i anxiously avoid a lot of things but once i start its like: im in#this mode now. no i cant fucking stop i need this to b done. i need to sit here and finish it otherwise i wont come back to it. i cant do#moderation its all or nothing. all school and nothing outside of that. cant send mail. cant clean sink. i see it and kno i need to do it an#then i just walk away from the disaster area. organization. is ok. it looks a disaster but i only exist in like 3 places so i dont lose#things often but i dont remember where i put things once i put them down i have to deduce where i would have put it. does that paint the#picture of executive functioning issues or rigid and restrictive compulsive behavior paired with self destructive impulses leading to#absolute mental exhaustion which is y things arent getting done? could b either or both. idk my ability to do things 95% of the way and wal#away leaving a mess that ill never come back to strikes me more as the former but what do i#still its worth considering bc i do have an amazing to control myself in a way that's completely out of my control. maybr my start/stop#switch is just fucked idk. slow down and reorient says my counselor u never stop to rest. shes right but also im a grad student stopping#would mean death u gotta keep swimming and doing more than u should. thats how it is#but im so tired and i only get more and more tired. so somethings gotta give eventually#unrelated#i forgot focus. my focus is good sometimes and sometimes my brain is moving too fast and i cant focus at all. its static#but focus is not a thing i cna control
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motherforthefamicom · 2 years
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how did i somehow unfollow you,,,,,,,,
idk ive accidentally unfollowed epople soooo many times usually cuz of misclivks n stuff
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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steampoweredskeleton · 2 months
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#delete later#am i wildly researching where i may end up living at 2am awake bc of pain? yes. should i be? absolutely not#theres a dry spell of properties and obvs i know itll improve again but eurgh. there were some nice places that have gone abd now theyre al#student accommodation and im not doing that. that isnt me seeing students as below me i just cant function in a shared#place with strangers. i will lose it and stop functioning. im just. stressed. and i can't do anything bc im in pain so thw stress is just#sitting there#its. having a chronic health condition that can get worse seemingly randomly sucks. how can i plan for anything. my current fear#is how can i view places to live if i cant leave the flat. my hands will improve but if im not carefil they will keep flaring up#but tine doesn't wait for health to stabilise. im just tired of it all. i need to future plan but whats tge point when idek#when I'm next gonna be able to go outside without fucking myself up. im gonna have to bc i feel so fucking claustrophobic rn#im having a pity party. i gotta sometimes. just. kinda miserable. i hate being in limbo. on the upside all friends gifts arrived. gonna try#figure out how to wrap them one handed. or find a bag. we'll see which i can do lol. feel kinda bad ive just been like hiding for the#past couple weeks but im in pain. not much to be done abd i need ro frequently lie down and just control my breathing#not conducive to fun. its 2am i need to sleep. i hurt#i know im whining a bunch lately. ahit just is. overwhelming and deeply upsetting. and im in too much pain to do anything but#lie here and think about it. and that sucks
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kirexa · 7 months
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omezuki · 9 months
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my least favorite thing ab brain not work disease is i mix up words a lot and i do it with pronouns specifically bc they're all close together and it's so embarrassing and a disaster waiting to happen
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nomaishuttle · 11 months
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ohhh my fucking god im gonna kill the goddamn pay app my job uses
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i vaguely remember seeing a post about the woman on tiktok illegally digging a tunnel under her house to make a storm shelter, but i did not realise that 1) she has 0 qualifications and works in IT, 2) she got into her areas watertable and started pumping groundwater out into her yard, 3) when a fire broke out, she recorded herself putting it out with a fire extinguisher in one hand and her phone in the other, 4) she hit a radon gas bubble, 5) shes located somewhere with big sulphur pockets and as she got into the waterline, she might have produced sulphuric acid which leaks into the aquifer, aka she could be poisoning the local drinking water, 6) she lives on a CUL-DE-SAC, 7) shes just been releasing silica dust whilst not using respiratory gear herself, let alone warning her neighbours, and 8) her neighbours have said the ground would randomly shake sometimes but many of them felt they couldnt report it to local authorities for fear of deportation.
she has now been stopped and seems to think that since shes only tunneling under her property, itll be easy to get permits to continue. she also drives a tesla which... yeah, that sounds about right.
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wyrm-in-a-closet · 10 months
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science fact of the day- planets!
generally speaking, planets come in two flavors: rocky and gaseous. rocky planets vary a good deal in size, and in the field of exoplanet research, they'll classified by either "super" or "sub" earths, depending on their mass (ie any planet smaller than earth, such as mars, is a sub-earth, while a rocky planet more massive, which we don't have in our solar system, is a super-earth.) right now, super earths are the most commonly observed type of rocky exoplanet, because of their greater size, but because there are none in our own solar system, we don't know a great deal about them. another way to classify rocky planets would be based on the internals- whether or not they have plate tectonics. Earth is the only planet that does right now, which is important because its possible tectonic movements are influential or even needed for life. generally, the masses of rocky planets ranges from about 10% of earth (roughly the mass of mars and mercury, the smallest known planets) to about 10 ish earth masses, at which point a planet would much more likely be an ice giant
ice giants are one of the two subclasses of gaseous planet. their mass is greater than 10 times that of earth, but im not sure what the upper bound is. the reason ice giants are great big gassy planets rather than rocky worlds with a mild to medium atmosphere is their mass, and an important factor which is the escape rate of gas. as sunlight hits a planet, photons from the sunlight randomly impart momentum onto atomspheric particles. sometimes, itll be enough for the particle to fly away from the planet, never to return. thus, atmospheres naturally become somewhat thinner over time. heavier molecules/atoms take much more energy to burn away, and so they tend to remain in atmospheres. this principle is why most moons don't have atmospheres- they don't have enough gravity to hold on to any particles at all- and why mercury doesn't- it's too hot, any particles just leave. but just because a planet can hold some gases doesn't mean it can hold all of them. crucially, helium and hydrogen are the most abundant elements in the universe- making up abotu 75% and 25% of all mass respectively. when the solar system formed, first, dense, rocky cores accreted. some of them remained small, and they became the rocky planets, while others continued to grow. if they grew to a certain point, they drew in more and more hydrogen and helium without it immediately leaving back into space, and so they quickly began to grow. however, some were limited because there simply wasn't as much hydrogen left. because hydrogen is so light, the pressure that the sun exerts on molecules through just light (called the solar wind) is enough to push them out of the solar system. by the time Neptune and Uranus were large enough to begin acreting hydrogen, there simply wasn't as much left because of this process, meaning they were stuck with 10-20 times the mass of earth.
but, if the planet was just a bit younger, then they could've kept growing. and growing. and growing and growing and growing and growing and by god that's a big fucking planet. gas giants are the most massive class of planets, ranging from a few dozen times the mass of earth to hundreds or even thousands of times it. one way to put jupiter's mass into perspective is this fact: image the mass comparison of earth and neptune- it's about 1 to 17. but when comparing neptune to jupiter, it's 1 to 19. jupiter is just that massive. gas giants are the lucky ones who grew earlier on, able to grab much more of that sweet sweet hydrogen before it evaporated into space. this is actually why saturn is smaller than jupiter- it's believed to have simply formed a bit later. gas giants do not have nearly as many ices or other chemicals as the ice giants, mostly because theres just so much more hydrogen. that said, if you ventured inside one, you'd likely find mostly the same- a thickening atmosphere with violent storms before you reach a supercritical ocean, which finally covers a small rocky core. one interesting fact abuot gas giants is that sccientists speculate that it rains diamonds on them- the tempratures and pressures are so high that natural carbon is pushed into becoming a diamond, which causes it to gain density and plumet down as a sharp, lethal downpour. we don't know for sure that it happens, but it's a safe bet.
this is like a lot longer than a normal one btw theyre not always this long
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skitskatdacat63 · 2 years
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Tumblr media Tumblr media
2005 Belgian Grand Prix - Giancarlo Fisichella DNF
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dual-fantasy · 8 months
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FANON SVETLANA. FROTHS AT THE MOUTH. can people please be for real for a Second. like mike shes actually kind of a bad person but cause shes a strong woman the mind of a total drama fan can only comprehend her being motherly. I think she should also be allowed to try and kill scott. shes equally as cool and awful as mike. if not more. in my dream post total drama au shes just worst because she deserves to be. I think vito is easily one of the funniest total drama characters hands down. everything about him even just in canon is fucking hilarious. the italian superstrength of course isn't realistic but it's the funniest thing to me. especially since most of the total drama fandom doesn't even question it hes just like that. he has a bunch of random skills nobody knows about. he probably doesnt either. anne marias car gets fucking wrecked like crumpled into a compact silver ball its shocking she made it out. he fixes it in 10 minutes with his hands and a plastic fork that survived the crash. hes completely and utterly stupid but only at common things to know. he cant do algebra but he can name every invasive insect species in history documented and otherwise. him and anne maria date for like a year after total drama but he leaves her for cars and men. he tries to help cameron work out once and it goes horribly wrong cameron gets hurt in ways nobodies ever been hurt before. doctors scientists priests etc are all dumbfounded. same thing happens when he brings cameron to literally just sit and watch him work at the mechanics. nobody even knows how he got hurt he just did. camerons not allowed within 50 feet of something metal anymore cause itll get him violently injured in a way that defies all science and god. anne maria is also underrated and so fucking funny. she records it every single time mike and scott fight. she encourages it. she bets at least ten dollars on mike. i think jomaria is so real but in ways nobody else understands. they show up to the Scike Fights together those are dates to them. svetmaria as well but in an awful gritty girlfailure way. my person headcanon(??) is that the reset button was completely made up. mike wanted off the show and it was the only way to get chris to leave them alone. once he was off the show he became so much cooler. but stereotypical cool bully kid in a movie kind of cool(think like... leather jacket) and nobody has the heart(and healthcare) to tell him that it doesn't actually look cool. most of his shirts are stained with Scott Blood. he acts like the type of guy to smoke but he tried it once and almost died. coughed and choked for at least an hour. the same with drinking he acts like he does but he needs emotional support to take a shot. when he actually gets drunk(after crying and gagging 10 times) hes just stupid and pathetic. he learns how to speak up for himself and he gets into fights but hes a loser boyfailure at heart. he rants to brick about a stupid pirated movie hes been watching while he washes the Scott Blood out from under his nails. he is the crywank and mccafferty boy ever but not in a sad way. just in a way you have to understand. Grave Dog
I have a lot of thoughts about the treatment of women in total drama. I'll probably make a whole post about it but it's actually kinda sickening that so many fans still treat women the way they do. fanon Svetlana is my 13th reason I stg. she should be worse. she should be strangling people. she should be biting and clawing and kicking. I love her. she deserves it.
Vito is literally the funniest total drama character I think. his entire existence is so funny to me. the Italian superstrength is an extra funny concept because the fandom doesn't question it, but also the contestants don't either. they all just accept that sometimes Vito can do stuff. randomly. he knows how to make like every poison ever and also he cannot fucking count. the car crash concept is so funny to me too. she brings it to him and it's fucking destroyed and they all look away and he's already fixed it. he does leave her for cars and men. he gives me grease (1978) energy but if grease was a little bit more faggoty and rocky horror picture show (1975). the Cameron concept made me burst out laughing. literally fucking incredible. Cameron gets hit by a car family-guy Brian-fucking-dies style while Vito is driving his dumbass convertible that's made out of cardboard, mod podge, and a tin can.
I also think that Manitoba smith is hilarious to me. it might just be the Australian in me but he means everything to me. he's canonically married? noone talks about that? he mentions his wife? when what who where why? and also I think he knows a lot about genuine Australian culture that noone should know unless they've been to Australia. he has literally never left Canada but he knows everything. he says "I'mgunna run down to wollies to snag lamingtons n a Bundaberg, wunna want?" and everyone stares at him like he's fucking insane. he warns everyone of dropbears. he calls them Zooper doopers. literally noone knows where he got this from.
I agree that the reset button was the only way to get Chris to leave him alone. noone wanted to get brought back so they decided that they would just. lie. and get off of the show. Chris didn't know it was fake he did literally no research whatsoever. chef knew it was fake but he didn't say anything because he understood the want to get off the show.
Anne Maria is soooo underrated it's insane. her elimination was actually iconic. even tho it's a fake diamond she could still sell it for a pretty decent price. it's a massive fucking jewel she could still scam someone with it. it's amazing actually. she means everything to me. jomaria so real they watch mike beat the shit out of Scott. Anne Maria is running bets and jo is charging admission to watch. they make so much money. also I believe in jo/Anne Maria/Svetlana. they beat up scott together. I love them.
mike is such a poser he's literally amazing. his shirts are all stained with blood (mainly Scott's) but if he ever tried to drink vodka he would shrivel up and die. he is the lightest weight ever. brick is holding his hair back while he's vomiting and threatening Scott (who hasn't been there for 10 minutes) after he took a singular shot. he is literally the worst and my personal favourite. Jo helps him wash blood out of his jeans while he's gossiping with Anne maria. I completely understand the McCafferty and crywank guy he's also the front bottoms and modern baseball. you're so real always
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absolutelybifurious · 25 days
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this is random but a fandom pandemic i dont see talked about enough that i find interesting is the like tonal difference between eddie pov vs buck pov in fics cause with eddie pov he’ll be doing his self deprecating/repression thing and you’ll just be nodding your head like yes yes exactly because you can tell the author really Gets eddie and you trust them to get him through to the other side safely whereas sometimes with buck pov itll be fine and then randomly it’ll get to a part where itll make me pause and squint cause ill just know ive stumbled into reading Woobified Buck anyway long story short let’s just say i ctrl+f the word “exhausting” in every buck pov fic before i decide to read lol
this is interesting, but i'm ngl you picked the right person because i love thinking about patterns in writing. i think with the buck thing its just because he is the favorite and since fic is for the writer, theres a lot of projection in it in general - and there's a looottt of self projection onto buck which results in really like... varied characterization of his pov.
its just interesting because i have such distinct interpretations of these characters and sometimes i'll read a fic and it's just Not At All how i see the characters, which like, they prob feel the same about MY fics, but yeah. at the end of the day, you're allowed to interpret things however you see fit, i guess.
but, god, the woobified buck is like, yeah. that's just. this fandom has such a problem with it. the show def makes him out to be the lil puppy of the squad where everyone kinda babies him, too, tho so it's not even completely fanon. like i think it's reasonable and a valid dynamic in the show, but buck def gets special baby boy treatment from bobby and even hen sometimes. and when people start villainizing eddie for rightfully calling that man exhausting - i start to come unglued.
and these will be the same people who call eddie dramatic for falling down when buck almost broke his ankle. so. we won't go there. if we go there, i simply won't stop.
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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OK done the journey there just jotting down some thoughts so I don't forget omw back:
took me abt an hour all in all bc I was keeping track of directions and going at a v leisurely pace (~8mph). could easily do it in 40 mins or less I reckon
moderate hills esp towards the end of the route but nothing too intense, I'm just out of practice cycling. didnt have to stop at any point tho and I reckon after a couple passes I won't even feel them at all. one longish mild downward slope which was fun to go fast on but might be a pain on the way back
generally rly nice route, much easier than I expected. there's a national cycle trail parallel for the vast majority of it which was semi-busy today as its a sunday but I imagine there'll be far less pedestrians at the times I'd be travelling on weekdays + any cyclists would also be commuting so I won't have to slow down as often.
nice view + smells like wild garlic atm :-)
99% paved which suits me. would be fine if there were some rougher sections bc I have a hybrid/touring bike but honestly I dont rly like cycling off road lol
one confusing junction where I had to come off the cycle trail... I think a diversion for road works (?) it's fine bc the road it connects onto is my old bus route so I'm v familiar w it already + there are bike lanes so it's v safe for cyclists. I'm gonna try and skip straight to the cycle trail on the way back tho just bc navigating traffic is a pain sometimes and breaks my flow. looking at the map it seems to pass really close to my work so I'll just follow it and see if my satnav tries to redirect me again
not feeling any muscle tiredness yet but we'll see how the way back goes and how i feel tmr. when I start cycling to work for real I'll just do it 2-3 days a week until I'm confident I can do it daily. itll be weather dependent anyway, today is gorg but it loves to randomly rain here and I don't have the right kind of brakes for bad weather.. also would be great bc my dr wants me exercising an hour a day which isn't feasible w my routine currently but itd tick that box
need to get cycling gloves + proper cycling shorts. not necessarily w padding but it wouldn't hurt if I'm gonna be doing it often.. didnt get crazy sweaty but that might change w a backpack on + I'll need a change of clothes for work regardless bc I don't wanna get grease stains on my work trousers lol. I think my work has showers but only for the production lab(?) I'll ask my manager if she knows whether im allowed to use them. I could get away without it but it'd be nice to have the option...
all in all successful experiment 👍 taken a 45 min break to chill + have a snack now its time for pt2: going home yayyy
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vinnsley · 2 years
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If you want to, could you do some headcannons about Elliot with an artistic reader (gender-neutral)? Like they often spend time in the library sketching or reading books about art history.
Okidoki
the thing is, I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM. and i dont have him either so itll be harder... anyways ill try ms best!
~~Elliot With An Artistic SO~~
So basically after browsing trough the internet to find some info about this man, i found basically nothing only some voicelines
and from that i got that hes knowledge hungry? well kinda
and since he prefers to be alone it would be hard to get close to him
but once he found you painting! And he became interested
randomly at first you guys would just stare at each other while one reads the other one paints.
after a few time you decided to break the silence and began talking
you guys quickly became good friends
he tolerated you enough to not tell you to fuck off while hes in the library (Im sorry-)
after sometime you guys became a couple. yeah.
i headcanon that he wants to know how to paint, but dosent have the guts to ask you, so he just drops hints
once you actually pick up on them, or if youre oblivious he would tell you that he wants to learn
when you start to teach him hes actually pretty good at painting, which did suprise you
He makes both of you tea when you guys hangout in the library
sometimes hell read you a book, but you have to pester him for that, and he wont give in easily
you ADORE art history, so hell let you ramble to him, he dosent mind, he finds it cute
if you want to read but dont know what to read, hell give you reccomendations(?)
you guys analyze books and ramble to eachother in the library, it passes time really fast, sou guys didnt even notice it was 2am when you guys finished, the thing is you guys started at 1pm...
im sorry that this is super messy, i know literally nothing about him, the wiki didnt help either. 😭
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not anything too serious,
my symptoms always get worse with stress, and when i’m about to go somewhere and have even the slightest symptom i get stressed about it happening while i’m out which then makes it worse, cycle repeats. recently this has led me to leave/cancel plans suddenly because i feel terrible and i panic about feeling awful while out and i’m worried my friends are starting to to resent me or that they will in the future
i never know if i should add in to these or if ppl just like talking into void but i thought id give u an affirmation n say i do think is p srs n that its the reality of chronic illness
stress is the #1 factor for all digestive disorders n most other chronic illness n stressing abt having a flare up at the wrong time is a part of chronic illness n it rlly sux bc it is like a self fulfilling prophecy n ppl do see it as a moral failing on the chronically ill persons behalf bc “well why do u have to be anxious abt it itll be fine” like its some sort of switch u can just turn off n on in ur mind
also ppl r a communal species n its nice having a support group n when ur going thru chronic stress n that chronic stress makes u sick n u develop a chronic illness if ur ppl start to leave u that can makes things worse bc now ur left to deal w all that stress on ur own which compounds the problem
but just bc ur worried abt ur support system leaving doesnt mean they will some ppl can be supportive n understanding
it can rlly suck to cancel plans bc it feels like the chronic illness is robbing u of ur life n enjoyment but just bc ur having a bad moment or bad episode doesnt mean thinks will be bad forever
one thing u can do is let ur friends know u appreciate them supporting u n being understanding of what ur going thru another thing u can do it make new plans if i have to cancel smth w friends sometimes we just change what we were gonna do if im feeling too bad to go out n am worried abt needing a bathroom randomly i usually invite them over to my place n we just chill in to make it up to them if they have a movie or show theyve been wanting me to watch ill watch it w them then lol but u might find ur friends r rlly supportive n thatll be less stress for u
it also helps making friends who also deal w similar issues i have a coworker friend who has lactose intolerance n ibs one friend also has gerd n one doesnt have a diagnosed stomach disorder but he has an anxiety disorder n his digestive system definitely is effected but we can all vent to each other n understand if someone needs to cancel or change plans or needs accommodations etc etc
thnx for ur ask btw i rambled a lot hahaha but u brought up important stuff abt chronic illness imho
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