#but tbh if your goal is to work in some kind of corporate environment… i would reccomend

[trippedandfell]

Cole please don’t tell me you’re a business major :(

i… can neither confirm or deny

[andypantsx3]

hi andie!

do u have any tips for corporate girlies? my friend is starting out in the corp world !! and got a lot of reality checks over how harsh and 'corporate' it is :((

Ohhhhh my god yeah corporate culture sucks!! It's just a bunch of adult babies using fancy words tbh lmao, acting like we're going to war and/or curing cancer when we're really just launching a product no one wants or needs lol.

Not sure what industry your friend is or what role she's in but here are some general tips, starting with practical project tips to more personal/sanity check tips lol.

Make sure you understand your organization's goals and success criteria. This is so basic but in order to understand what leadership cares about and how all the different project components fit in, you're going to want to learn what are all the active projects, who owns them, what success is being evaluated on, and how those performance indicators are being calculated. I work with some people who have no idea what is going on (which, fair) but it ends up creating a ton of churn and can look super bad for them if they are not in step with what our corporate overlords expect from them.

Clear communication is key. Never have I ever encountered more communication issues than working in corporate; people often have one image in their head of what a task looks like where their partner teams might have another, and if you don't outline all the key details together, you could end up delivering something unusable. If you're an individual contributor (aka a task doer), make sure you ask clarifying questions of the project leads if they haven't specified (like, what testing environment something needs to be deployed to, what are the release gating procedures, what is the expected timeline, etc). If you're a project manager, make sure you're clarifying those details with stakeholders and passing that information to your team; prompt your team to ask questions even if they seem clear, and make sure you get that info for them ASAP!!

Documentation is crucial. If you make an implementation decision, document it. If you have a delivery, document it. If you have a process for anything, make sure you document it. If you have a meeting, get those notes out. If you have an agreement with stakeholders, make sure you get it in writing and get them to sign off on it!! Information is key to helping other people understand what you are doing, why you are doing it, what the expectations were from other related parties when you started doing it, and how it can be improved if needed. If you're a project lead or manager, start a folder or repository somewhere for all project communications, keep all your emails & slacks with stakeholders (because they will come back being snotheads and you can politely whip out receipts). :3

Be proactive. Observe the kinds of questions leadership asks, understand their concerns & needs. Then proactively make sure you are addressing those things in your work and/or in your reporting. For example, if you're reporting on a release failure in a weekly business review, make sure you call out things like: 1) what you tried to do to prevent failure, 2) what the ultimate blockers or root causes of failure were, 3) what your learnings were from that failure, 4) what you are going to do to fix it, and 5) what the revised ETA is. That way, even though things didn't go your way, leadership understands you are on top of things and proactively working to solve problems.

Understand priorities & tradeoffs. There will come a time where you have conflicting demands on your time. Work with your manager or org leadership to understand what projects are higher priorities than others, and do not be afraid to escalate to your manager or above if progress is threatened or if you need to clarify. For example, Project A is high priority and Project B is medium priority, but the project manager from Project B is all up in your business asking you to deliver something or investigate something that you don't know if you have time for. Loop in your manager to determine if someone else can take Project B, or inform them that doing B will impose these anticipated risks to A; are they comfortable with that? Then you can circle back to Project B to deliver the news that you're working on A, your manager has suggested this revised timeline or other POC they can work with, and if they have concerns they can escalate. (Usually this shuts ppl up :3)

Improve processes. I cannot emphasize this enough but try to think about how to do things better the next time around, even if things went solidly to plan. Do not get defensive about your work or the quality of your work; always be thinking (or asking other people) about how time could be cut off of something, what processes could be put in place to minimize touchpoints or decrease risks. If you can, try to impose this mindset on your team & ask for project retrospectives, and take specific action items out of those retrospectives! Trust me it makes things so much clearer and easier in the long run if you work to make things better over time!!

Get a mentor. Find someone who has the job you want to have or who seems to know the things you want to know about and ask them to work with you on that! Tell them what your goal is, whether to develop a special skill set to move roles, or develop a specific understanding of a project or concept, and ask them to help you develop a plan to get there. Set up regular time together and goals to work towards in that time. This helps you learn things faster and gives you someone who can vouch for you when it comes time for yearly feedback, role changes, or promotions.

Create a personal portfolio. Keep track of all the things that you do; all the projects you are on, what your role is, what you were responsible for delivering, and what resources you created as part of that, whether it's project wikis, some script, etc. Keep your manager aware of it so they understand your value and have visibility on your work; you can leverage this when it comes time for role changes or promotions. Additionally try to make sure you're working on high viz or high value projects; this gives you even more leverage!!

Do not tie your self worth to your performance or your job title. At the end of the day capitalism sucks, corporations are evil, and none of this shit matters. Even if you don't do something well once, you can improve in the future, and even if your company doesn't see it/isn't a good match for your skills, you have value!!! They profit from keeping you underpaid, stressed out, and dejected, but you are not just a 'resource' or a cog in a machine. You are a person; you will make missteps from time to time but you bring more value to this planet and the people on it just by existing than these capitalist enterprises could ever. Do do not burn yourself out trying to please them, keep yourself open to other job options, and make sure you have a good friend/family support structure in place to reality check you!!

Idk how helpful this was but I hope there was a little something in there that your friend could use. If she has specific questions on anything I'm happy to help out too lol; that might give me more idea what specific aspect she is struggling with & how to help!

[tarot-by-e11e]

Hi dear, thankyou so much for opening this game it means a lot. And i really appreciate your time, energy and efforts!!

Okay so now I'm Jasmine, capricorn-sun, Virgo moon and taurus rising.

Answers to your questions;

Your Go-to Self-Empowering song

Tbh my way of motivation is so let myself realise and feel things that kind of like strikes this inner passion and dedication out. (Sorry for adding so many songs but i love these especially)

->"What does your dream life look like?"

Well for me my dream life looks like being able to do something big, like I wanna have my own name so that I can use that as an inspiration for others, i can Help people both financially and mentally, wanna go in a carreer that satisfies me both mentally and financially, i wanna change things just like do something different, i wanna have my own family with kids and a husband, i really want to be a mom tbh, wanna travel the world and be satisfied with mentally and fincially, being able to do charity and just complete my true purpose here. Like do something that people can look upto, help people in anyway I can and also live the life i truly desire. Have my own everything especially a House. There's a lot i could say but for now I'll just add the main things.

thankyou so much for doing the reading for me, i really appreciate you a lot. This is my first time participating so I hope my energy is good to you. 🫶🏻🤍✨🧿

Hi Jasmine,

Thank you so much for participating in my new ask game~

Your empowering playlist is so iconic! Definitely the motivating kind of songs~

You have such amazing and beautiful dreams!! I hope and wish you can achieve all of them!

The cards I pulled for you regarding the Encouragement of your Future Self are:

Strength, 10 of Wands, 4 of Swords

These are the things your Future Self wants to tell you:

“The reason you’re dreaming big because you know you have what it takes to achieve those goals in this lifetime. Knowing this, you’ll need to built your inner strength and confidence. You inherently know you can do it, so don’t give up.”

“You can’t control where you’re from however you have the power to choose to stay stuck or move out of the environment you’ve clearly outgrown from. Knowing this, you’ll know how and when to make bold moves and take calculated risks.

Learning how to manage your finances early on is a great way to have some financial safety net. So don’t give in to peer pressure by buying something you don’t need or want. You know how to reallocate your funds responsibly. Always remember, I’m proud by how much effort you put in to ensure we live the lives we enjoy in the future. Don’t give up, for the both of us.”

“Burn out is real yet it is avoidable, if you create a sustainable lifestyle that creates a healthy foundation for you and benefits you in the long run. Take outs are easy and affordable, but 10 years later, hospital bills might become too much for us to bear. So please prioritize sustainability over a quick buck?”

“Overtime is overrated. Don’t let yourself be stuck as a corporate slave. Find a way to make money work for you. Don’t rely on only one income. You know this, yet you struggle to believe that you are capable of this. Newsflash, you will find a way to live a healthier and more financially secure lifestyle. You need only to learn how to curate your life to your design.”

“Going on a vacation isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy. You can’t keep overworking yourself to the point of fatigue and exhaustion. Hospital gowns don’t look cute on you. So do everything to learn to view rest as a vital necessity.

Your well-being and sanity are nonnegotiable precious commodities. Don’t waste them on things/activities that won’t make your life better in the long haul. It’s great that you’re hardworking and diligent. However, there’s a fine line between being of service and people-pleasing. You know you deserve respect and just monetary compensation. So act like it. If a higher-up doesn't see your value, leave. Your respect, time, and energy shouldn’t be wasted on those who don’t deserve it.”

This is all I can read for you.

Do let me know how this resonates with you.

(This reading is for entertainment purposes only)

[jjaynze]

I really love your art and I especially love the Borderlands stuff. In particular the Hyperion Rebirth AU. I would love to see more or even just explore the idea. Like just how Athena took over, how she did it with Janey and Fiona, they're relationship, Janey's hand, their status in the Borderlands and much more.

If your open to it I do have certain ideas for it.

Like Hyperion falling into what amounts to a civil war with Jack's death, how badly he ran it, and all the money and resources he sunk into Pandora on top of Helios crashing Planetside. Athena and Janey are dragged into one side and Fiona by a another on the company planet of Theia. (The wife of Hyperion and Goddess of sight and brilliance along with gold, silver and gems with their brilliance and value). All three meet once again and start to work together to win control over Hyperion themselves.

oh my god hi!!!! tysm for the ask i never expected anyone to ask me about this old au <3

side note btw that i apparently decided to exclude Fiona from this au 🥲 she’ll likely have an appearance other places but won’t have any direct connections to Hyperion

under the cut is a very unorganized set of pictures + explanations of what i had in mind for Hyperion’s Rebirth:

—-—-—

ORIGINS

to start, i just want to mention how this au came to be.

it was mostly fun and games tbh, where i was in an era between playing BL3 and BLTPS constantly. although i never used them, i found it ironic that in BL3, the Hyperion weapons had shields extremely similar to Athena’s shield.

since i was SUPER disappointed that Athena didn’t even at least have a mention in an ECHO, and i was SUPER deprived of content of her, i decided to make a FUN, NON-CANON ALTHOUGH HEAVILY LORE-BASED, COMPLETELY SELF-INDULGENT AU where Athena had taken over Hyperion just bc she wanted to 😇 starting this project in 2021, i would work on this on and off for my own enjoyment

flashforward only one year later—

………..hashtag goals 🤟🏼. never worked on it for a while even before ntftbl was announced unfortunately 💔

HYPERION ITSELF

you were very spot on with the concept of Hyperion being on the planet Theia, i was super confused seeing it bc i never remembered sharing anything about this 😭😭

i wanted Hyperion to be SUPER heavily reinforced, because of how widely loathed the company is, its history, and because of the overall environment of Theia. every few hours, the surface shifts from entire slabs of the floor, taken from the idea of plate tectonics.

i was also gonna work on the unique fauna, just like how Pandora has skags and Eden-6 has jabbers !! i had only given it caracals since they’re my favorite animal :,3

blands LOVES their greek myth motifs so i wanted to apply that here also

a common trend with the corporations was that each tend to have some kind of second base. i used Selene and Eos, since they were also the children of Theia and Hyperion (Helios isn’t present since it crashed obv).

i never had any ideas for Selene, but an idea i had for EOS was that it was an underwater ship.

CHARACTERS

THIS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE MOST!!!

a very specific headcanon i have for Athena is that it isn’t her real name. she was very young at the time she was taken into Atlas, where they had actually given the assassins different names. her real name is Gayle Alvarez, to which she rejects as symbolism to how she’s letting go over her past after all these years, accepting who she is now. (she gave herself that last name “Hoplite” tho LMAO)

^^ this all comes from that fact that i was VERY petty over the fact that her sister, Jess, should’ve been named Minerva. it makes more sense to me idk

ANYWAYS this just describes Athena and Janey’s positions in Hyperion just a little bit. Athena is obviously the CEO and Janey has taken position to where she had designed almost everything.

in terms of the third point, i had actually wanted to make the Voice of Hyperion to be a prominent character in here also!! i didn’t get too far with her unfortunately 💔

FUN FACT i was actually also gonna bring HoloJack as a character concept, although he’s just stuck in an ECHO device. i was thinking that in order to run Hyperion, Athena would need the advice of an ex-CEO. they both only agree to an exchange of management tips for a new body. Athena obviously flanks out after getting Hyperion into a suitable condition, then stuffing the ai into a submachine gun and launching it towards the furthest planet 🤔 it was a funny concept but i dropped it after a while

—

on to something more specific, i do wanna mention this art piece, which ties into another one of my headcanons.

Janey was born on Elpis, being present before and after the Crackening. as it occurred, she had been exposed to whatever unstable eridium had managed to leak through, all without her knowledge—she barely remembers anything of the sort happening

TO SUMMARIZE, Janey is like the Lost Legion Eternals, specifically, a Phasewalker!!!! from the game, the LLEs only ascend once reaching a near-death situation, which explains why Janey never figured it out. the closest she did was when she and her ex gf were mauled by Flamey, where her Phasewalking activated and she managed to get away.

STORY

there is no story, sorry. 😓🤕

the closest i have are unofficial concepts, since i had literally almost zero experience and knowledge in world building.

the main idea i had focused on was something to do with Athena’s old Atlas squad, the Omega Assassins. from some, currently undecided decision, Vulcana, Hera, Minerva, Ceresia, and Helicon found themselves alive, even after supposed elimination from the BL1 Vault Hunters. despite her betrayal, they wanted Athena back, and would do anything to prevent her from settling away.

ALSO, another idea was that after the Omega Assassins found out that Athena was married/engaged, they had cut off her ring finger. this explains why i drew her wearing her rings on a chain near her chest.

below is an extra character development attempt which i had named “scene where janey plays the guitar”

this takes place moments after the assassins kidnap Athena and destroy their home for, again, some undecided reason 😭 i wanted to study Janey’s devotion towards a happy life, since i would also think of her having extreme attachment issues. she’s typically the optimistic character that sees the good through any situation, so i wanted to try to see how she would face against her everything being taken away from her again.

i also gave Janey a resentment of anything that resembles a kraggon, no matter how friendly☝🏼

—-—-—

i wish i had worked on this au so much more than what i shared. i was extremely passionate about it and i kinda still am!! even with how half-assed most of the lore is with blands, i still absolutely DEVOUR any little bit of canon Athena content available.

a COMPLETE story of Hyperion’s Rebirth is unfortunately unlikely now, especially with how it’s heavily implied to be. CANON now 😰😰. i would love to work on it again, but i just don’t really see a reason to 💔

tysmm for the ask again, i appreciate it a lot!! i rambled a bit too much but i wouldn’t mind talking much more about the little ideas i have ^_^ 💐

[bimboficationblues]

I’m interested in going to law school, but as a commie I’m not really sure I’d be able to fit in lol what has your experience been?

In the words of my political hero, Urdnot Wrex, “better than I feared, worse than I hoped.” 

The short version: law school is culturally and pedagogically hierarchical and conservative. As a part of the capitalist social architecture, it’s structured to wear down the spirit of people who might otherwise use legal tools and skills for good, and get them to go help fuck over workers. I have made some good friends, met some great people who are doing comradely work that I really respect, and I know what my goals are, but I was pretty miserable before I achieved those things.  But, on the other hand, I think it’s a net positive if more people who care have the tools to help their comrades.

Even now I don’t find legal education rewarding in itself but as a means to my desired end - and I’m privileged to even be able to consider that end as a realistic possibility. I think this essay is worth reading and accurately describes many of my experiences. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more directly!

The long version: 

1) If you go to law school then you will almost certainly hear a lot of staff and faculty say stupid bullshit about how it’s training you to “think like a lawyer.” This is true, but not necessarily a good thing. “Thinking like a lawyer” is a way of narrowing your understanding, making you less adept at understanding the world in general in exchange for a better understanding of one specific aspect, making you into a weak and malleable subject for your future employer. It is not some kind of access to the Deep Knowledge that couldn’t possibly be figured out on your own; because in most states you cannot take the bar exam without attending law school, legal education is essentially a class-based barrier to entry for one of the few tools that the liberal capitalist order actually values and responds to.

This idea of "legal reasoning" is designed to make you believe in the magic power of words and rules, to the neglect of material power relationships. Legal realism - the completely correct assessment that rules are (in Karl Llewellyn’s words) "pretty playthings" except insofar as they are useful to make power do what you want (whatever side of the bench you're on) - will be given a passing mention, but never actually applied in the skill-building process. Because of all this I have found law school, especially the first year, deeply frustrating; it obfuscates as much as it clarifies. The silences can feel oppressive in their own way.

2) This will probably depend on where you go, because some schools churn out more legal academics, but ime law school is not very intellectually stimulating or rigorous. If you are searching for something that will be engaging it will probably not be found in law school; there are ways of examining and analyzing law in interesting ways (and useful ways, for a revolutionary), but they largely require the application of other disciplines.

3) Many of your professors will lean authoritarian, if not in their politics then in their pedagogy. Not all of them - I’ve had several that I consider good and one that I considered great - but typically the reliance on the cold call system, curves, class ranks, and a generally infantilizing attitude all contribute to the distinct feeling of losing one’s autonomy. The hierarchical structure of the classroom inoculates you to the hierarchies that shape capitalist life and the legal system; the relationship between the authoritarian professor and yourself is not unlike that between the judge and the attorney, or the senior partner and the junior attorney. Many students tolerate it because they figure that when they get into their firm of choice they can work their way up and lord over some poor paralegal or junior attorney.

4) Any given peer you interact with will probably be some kind of liberal, but frankly that’s not so different from society in general ime. And just because they’re liberal actually doesn’t mean they’re not feeling the same sort of hostility towards the infantilizing educational environment. As it happens I have a higher tolerance for liberals compared to other communists (though not this year tbh), so usually when my liberal friends start spouting some shit I either gently but explicitly disagree or just move on. 

5) Those who go to law school and want to contribute to positive change, but lack scholarships or personal/familial wealth, are faced with a difficult choice. a) They can grapple with debilitating debt in an underfunded public defense or public interest job (though loan forgiveness is a thing), or b) They can go work at a well-paying law firm (or maybe even in-house counsel) that will pay off their student loans in exchange for fucking over the working class, domestically or internationally. The materialist answer as to what people will do is not surprising; most people will gladly accept bifurcating their private and public lives in this way. Even those who aren't saddled with debt are in a social environment that highly favors the corporate firm as the site of maximum social mobility, and it can be hard to see beyond that. (And those who don't care at all about having a positive influence can go into sports law or become prosecutors, I guess.)

I say all of this not necessarily to be like “don’t do it,” but like, know what you’re up against. Legal education - like the rest of capitalist ideology - is designed to either destroy you and drive you out, or make you surrender and assimilate to it. I think it’s possible, on an individual level, to do neither, but it’s hard.

[bigskydreaming]

remypix said: So. How do we get you to become the main writer for Dick at D.C.?

LOL! I appreciate the flattery, but tbh, I don’t really see that ever happening. Its something I’ve thought about a LOT, to be honest, and went back and forth on for years before I ultimately arrived at the conclusions I did and figured out what it was that I really want and what matters the most to me as a writer.

So the following ramble is just my train of thought on all of that, in case its of interest to anyone else for whatever reason. LOL, no scraps of meta to be gleaned from this particular wordvomit-bomb, so don’t feel you’re missing out on anything by skipping past it, its pretty much just how I went about working through my own personal priorities in terms of career goals as a writer, before settling on what path I want to take ultimately, and what paths I’m not really interested in working towards.

But yeah....although I absolutely invested a LOT of time and dream real estate in envisioning my future writing for DC or Marvel someday, came up with entire Giant Size lineups of my own X-Men characters I couldn’t wait to make canon and actually wrote out honest to god To-Do lists for things I wanted to do with certain characters once I got my grimy little hands on them before anyone else had a chance to realize what a mistake that’d been to allow.....

Now, tbh, I don’t really see that as ever being likely....largely because its no longer a career goal I have any real interest in pursuing.

Not because I don’t aim to write professionally - I’ve made a living at it before, and expect I should be able to manage to again once I’m out the other side of my living situation of the past few years where my body only tolerates my attempts to get it to like, function, for a few hours at a time. Writing professionally is a hustler’s game, lol, its not enough to just do the writing, you have to be prepared and able to follow up on any opportunities that come your way quickly and that’s just not in the cards right now. 

But I know how to do it, have done it before, I know how to network and while there’s no such thing as guarantees, there is such a thing as my single-mindedness and refusal to quit even when I probably should, so with that thrown in and all other factors considered, I do think I COULD potentially work my way up to at least a trial writing gig at either Marvel or DC someday, if I focused my efforts on that career direction specifically. Like its possible, I think my skills are at the requisite level, I’ve got the drive, etc, etc.....

But I just don’t see myself likely to set myself on that course ever, at least not any time soon. Not as something I’d need to commit to for a considerable period of time in order to break in and land the right opportunity, because the one thing I know myself well enough to know I lack completely and totally.....is my willingness to ‘play the game.’ The politics that go along with working in a corporate creative environment like Marvel or DC, particularly at the very bottom rungs of those corporate ladders, where I’d inevitably start out and need to kiss a lot of asses to have any chance of someday working my way far enough up the ladder to have any real kind of creative control over what I was writing.

*Shrugs*

Part of the problem is, as much as I love the characters DC has to play with, I do not love the structure that playground is formulated around. Like I’ve talked about a fair amount recently.....for years now, a huge creative problem with DC’s content is how disparate and isolated the various characters and franchises are kept from each other.......and while I know I COULD come up with stories that worked within those kinds of limiting parameters, I wouldn’t really WANT to, you know?

Like as much as I love the idea of writing Dick professionally, making canon stories for him.....in all likelihood, I wouldn’t even have the option of bringing in most of the other characters I’d want to draw upon as supporting elements in those stories. Dick is my favorite member of the Batfam, granted, but like I;ve said before, I do actually like all of them, when written well. I don’t WANT to write a Dick Grayson who’s kept isolated and solitary by editorial mandate, and at most allowed a guest appearance by one or two other Batfam members, as long as its kept brief and nothing significant enough to potentially impact their own storylines occurs in those appearances. 

And you just can’t really write a family like that, at least not well. Not without being severely hampered, to such a degree that even if I did find workarounds to allow me some pagetime with the characters I needed/wanted to include, figuring out a way to make that work creatively within whatever limitations are put forth, like, that would no doubt be stressful and exhausting and the complete opposite of the entire POINT of creative endeavors in my opinion. 

There’s not really a whole lot about that scenario that I’d enjoy, that would make the experience worth the time and effort it’d take to get to a point where its even a possibility......and chances are, it’d be more likely to sour me on the whole creative process of dreaming up and writing stories about this character I love so much, and potentially even leak into my ability to enjoy him, just because of how much personal negativity I now associated with it.

 And then the other aspect of things is just.....there’s a degree of game-playing that’s expected and even required of working as a writer for major companies like Marvel or DC, where you’re one little cog in a very big machine that quite frankly, doesn’t give a damn about your opinions beyond thinking you should be really careful about not expressing any that potentially reflect badly on them or any of their content....not if you want to KEEP working for them for any length of time. Trust me, I’ve known writers and artists who’ve worked for both companies, even known some pretty well, and I wasn’t kidding about the ass-kissing that falls under the heading “job requirement” thanks to a lot of the egos that sit very high up on the creative ladders there, and in key, critical positions that mean you can’t afford to piss them off or seem overly critical of them or their own content or work.

And that’s just....not me. Not anymore, anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I’m more than capable of holding my tongue when necessary, and doing and saying the right things to advance in those kinds of environments. Like I said, I’ve done it before, and quite well, and for years. Hell, forget the writing for a second, just in my acting career alone....working as an actor is nothing BUT networking, and to get and keep any kind of jobs at all you have to be just as good at that side of things as you are at actual acting, if not better, and well, I worked pretty steadily. I know how to network, how to keep my mouth shut, how to DO it and just focus on my end goal and where all that networking is hopefully going to lead me to.....

I just don’t WANT to, anymore.

Because it really is exhausting. And more than a little soul-crushing. I absolutely LOVE acting, as in the actual craft, just like I love writing, and creating in all kinds of forms. But the hierarchies of bullshit and egos and completely unnecessary power plays that go hand in hand with a lot of the professional work in those fields, is just......really, really draining. 

I’m not someone who likes keeping my mouth shut when I feel I have something to say.....having things to say is for me a huge, integral part of what draws me to story-telling in its various forms in the first place. And for me, that doesn’t begin and end just with what I write and act in myself, it also applies to the atmospheres and environments AROUND what I write and act in and where I write it and act in it. I love big, immersive shared universes like DC and Marvel because of their scope, their potential, the inter-connectivity of it all, and just how BIG it all is, and how big it allows stories to be, how big it allows various characters and their impact to be. But to actually be a PART of one of those myself, on any level, to be one of the pieces that make up its whole, my work a representation of it and thus all of it, to some degree, a representation of me....it wouldn’t be enough for me, to just be proud of what I create in that environment, I’d want to be able to also be proud of what my work is a part of, the other pieces surrounding that. 

And the reality is just.....for all that I like about Marvel and DC, there’s a shit ton I don’t like, and most of that falls under the header of specific tropes and trends and MINDSETS. And I don’t need things to be perfect, or ideal, or exactly as I want them to be personally, I really truly don’t.....because nothing is perfect, and unlikely to ever be perfected within any person’s lifetime. I know that. I understand that. But a lack of perfection doesn’t mean that things can’t constantly be worked on, improved upon, made BETTER, at least heading in that DIRECTION.....and the thing is, I don’t bitch about the various things and trends and mindsets I dislike in my fandoms, in the media I consume and enjoy, like, just to do it. Just to be negative. For me, criticism exists in order to point out existing flaws or areas where something is lacking or could be improved upon.....so that at least the OPTION of improving upon those things even exists.

 If you truly think there’s a flaw in something, something that makes a story or character or creative work less than it could be, holds it back, limits or detracts from its enjoyability at least in some small ways.....the one and only guarantee that exists, is that there’s not even a chance of those things being worked upon, tried a different way, being CONSIDERED by their creators or even just given more thought when creating along similar lines in the first place.....if like, nobody who has a problem with it as is ever like, MENTIONS having that problem with it, or seeing it as being lacking, or less than it could be, in these specific ways. To improve upon a thing, one must first be looking at what could stand to be improved upon, and SEEING it as something to potentially make better or do in a better way, instead of just....exactly the way it was already made.

Criticism is integral to making things better, stronger, MORE than what they already are, and I honestly think the truly great writers and artists of all kinds are the ones who are not just open to criticism, but who THRIVE on it. Who see it not as a judgment, but an opportunity. Who take whatever they can get from it and know how to leave behind the parts that have nothing useful or productive for them.

And Marvel and DC are just....not environments that I see as being all that open to hearing criticism, whether from outside or inside. In fact, I think that’s a huge part of the problem both have, something that’s stagnated them considerably......they’re never really improving upon any of the many areas they’re criticized for, because they refuse to hear that criticism, regard it as having any validity, and when you won’t even LOOK at something that needs improving upon as something that you acknowledge as needing improvement, FOCUS on improving, make that criticized flaw something you focus on rather than ignore, so you can LEARN from its mistakes rather than deny any mistakes exist at all....

Then the only way anything ever gets better at all, whether a little bit or a lot, is by pure blind chance, by just happening to not make the same mistakes next time out or because you focused on a new direction and were lucky enough to avoid stumbling into any particular pitfalls.

And that’s just....not appealing to me at all, even a little bit. Not something I care to be a part of, and I think its a waste of my time or energies, to work for a company that has a lot of problems that I see very specific areas that could be made better and not just for the sake of pointing out flaws, but because I also see various ways they could do things differently and potentially improve upon things......but working for a place who churns out content I think has a lot of flaws, or that I see and hear other people pointing out and commenting on those same flaws and others I didn’t see myself at first but saw after they were pointed out.....and yet knowing that company more than likely wouldn’t be receptive to hearing any mention of existing flaws, but would rather I just keep my mouth shut and just focus on my own story, no matter how I worded any criticism of the broader universe or directions or went about trying to raise said criticism or float it out there even as a hypothetical to consider......

Nah. No thanks. Not for me. 

I know how to play these kinds of games because I was raised playing them and surrounded most of my early life by nothing but game-players, people who played games with everything from the truth, to peoples’ lives, to social issues and politics, all of it was the same and they played games with it all just because they COULD. And I was tired of it a loooooong time ago, and at this point in my life, especially looking back on the last several years that I can’t help but view as largely wasted, because I flat out didn’t even have the OPTION of doing any of the things I wanted to do, was so consumed by day to day survival to such a massive degree that there literally wasn’t even the possibility of trying to work towards the longterm or do anything to advance any of my various career paths or goals.....like, that’s over three years now, going on four, that have just come and gone with nothing to show for them in terms of things I really want for myself and my career, things I actually want to do, things I want to say, stories I want to tell, NEED to tell....and in light of that in particular, like, I honestly can’t stand the thought of wasting potentially years more of my life keeping my mouth shut about things I see problems with purely for the sake of towing the company line, when literally NOBODY benefits from allowing problems to exist unacknowledged and just fester and grow and become entrenched.....not even the company itself.

*Shrugs* It just seems wasteful to me, and I’m already chafing at the bit as is to get back to a level of health and energy and focus, not to mention financial security/stability enough that I can even START moving forward with my actual careers again, working on selling and putting out there the kind of stuff I really want to put out there, put my name to.....it honestly just makes me shudder, thinking about the likelihood of wasting years more of my life in service to priorities that aren’t mine and that I don’t agree with, for the sake of egos I have no stake in, just because the company in question is full of people who are perfectly content with everything they create as is, who don’t aspire to ever be any better than they already are, are okay with already having PEAKED......just so long as it means they don’t have to listen to anyone insinuate or outright state something that everyone already claims to already be aware of and thus shouldn’t actually be all that hard to hear: that perfection doesn’t exist, its unattainable for everyone, and thus the things they’ve created and are working on right now....aren’t....perfect. Meaning, by extension.....they could be made better. Improved upon. Grown or evolved or honed into something that reaches MORE people, resonates MORE strongly, touches MORE hearts, changes MORE minds.

Why don’t people, artists, want that for themselves? For their work, that they put so much of themselves into, expend so much time and effort to make? I’ll never understand. Can’t relate.

And the real kicker for me, the thing that ultimately helped me make up my mind on this awhile back, and more than that, make my PEACE with the possibility of never getting to work professionally on these characters who mean so much to me already, even though I think theoretically I’m capable of it, could potentially make that a reality....

Its that....I don’t HAVE to waste that time, catering to those other peoples’ priorities, just to tell the stories I want to tell. Aiming for that particular path, constraining myself in ways I’m not really comfortable for the sake of people I don’t really like and messages I don’t actually agree with.....its not actually anything I need, and doesn’t actually offer me anything.

I do love Dick Grayson and other existing characters, and want to write them the way I truly see them, and immerse them and surround them with other characters I like as well and think SHOULD be around them, supporting them, their narratives entwined with them......and I already can do that with fanfic. *Shrugs* I can write the stories those existing characters inspire in me, that I really want to tell, and not worry about the oversight or by-committee mandates or approval of uncreative DC higher-ups holding me back or limiting me or telling me I can only use certain characters and only to certain degrees or in certain ways. I can scratch that itch, I can put those out there without DC, and an audience exists for them, and always has and always will. Yeah, its a limited audience, compared to the platform DC has and the greater number of committed fans their Brand Name and existing properties help direct to every new writer who works for them or new story or new characters....no fanfic I write will ever reach the number of eyes Tom King’s or Scott Lobdell’s stories get in front of.....but honestly? I’d MUCH rather have a limited audience, than be limited in the stories I can tell.

And as for reaching wider audiences, getting my content, my stories out there in front of more eyes.....I have my original content for that, and I’m fully comfortable and confident in my ability to create characters and build immersive worlds that can be just as compelling as anything existing, whether that’s actually self-confidence or hubris, lol, who knows and who cares. Point is, I love DC’s characters but I don’t NEED them in order to have characters to play with, and I don’t need to try and break into a playground that honestly seems full of a ton of crap for every square foot I’m ACTUALLY interested in and there for.

I can make my own, and have, and will continue to do so. I’ve got my own superhero universe called The Ellis Eighteen that I’ve been building most of my life and might not have the history or scope of DC’s decades of existing content and hundreds of creators, but its still more than enough content to keep me busy for the rest of my life, even just that one universe of mine alone, and when my problem with that particular project is not having enough time or energy as is to write all the stories I already want to write there with just my own characters and universe and narratives........there’s absolutely no reason for me to settle elsewhere.

Because similar to what I was saying about why I’m okay with writing just fanfic for Dick, even if that puts a ceiling on how far I can ever go with that......its about personal priorities and everyone ultimately needing to figure out what matters most to them in terms of personal ambitions and longterm goals, and in a world where nobody can ever get everything they want all the time, exactly on their terms.....figuring out where you’re most willing to cut losses and what you most strongly feel you need to do your way.

My own original superhero universe could be the best thing anyone’s ever seen and leaps and bounds above anything DC or Marvel create, and it doesn’t matter - the mere limitations inherent in creating new characters and universes in an already saturated market, the struggle to compete with household names and give people a reason to direct even a second glance towards characters they’ve never heard of when there are four different titles out this week containing even just one of the characters they already know and love and have been reading for decades, the basic math of one individual creator’s content never in a million years ever going to have the real estate or reach that even the least popular and worst written of DC’s titles enjoys just because association with all their other established and proven content gives them an automatic boost that I’ll never be able to match or replicate on my own with original characters....all of that is real, and a factor and things I’ve considered and accepted. 

Because at the end of the day, I decided the most important thing for me is bottom line, I like telling stories. But I like telling MY stories, the ones that only exist because I came up with them and thus will never exist for anyone else unless I write them the way they read to me in my head, the stories that CAN’T exist without me to tell them. And I like to tell my stories my way, in the sense that they may not be perfect and they might have areas of their own in which they’re flawed or lacking or could stand to be improved upon, but they at least don’t make the mistakes I see as mistakes in others’ work, and they prioritize the things that are important to me, and tell the messages I want to tell.

And with all that in mind, I would much rather devote myself towards walking a much longer, much harder road with absolutely no guarantees of ever gaining the kind of audience I might have if I worked for Marvel or DC......as long as it means that for all its drawbacks, every step I take on that road, I get to take while telling MY stories, MY way, the way I think they were meant to be told and without people I don’t respect or agree with backseat driving as I tell them, trying to give me directions as if they know how to get to where I want to go with my stories better than I do myself.

Compared to having a (comparatively) shorter even if no less difficult road to GET to a place where Marvel or DC hired me to write for them....at which case they’d shuttle me off in whatever direction they wanted to send me on a shortcut that admittedly gets me to a much wider audience in a much shorter time, and with far more guarantees of profit and thus a smoother ride.....but every step I take on THAT road, I ONLY ever get to tell the stories they allow me to tell, the ones that they like personally, and only after I’ve run them by them for approval first, and reshaped it into the form THEY want it to have and read the way they want it to sound, before ever reaching a single other person’s ears, with that vast audience only ever getting to read those versions of the stories I came up with....rather than the versions that read the way I originally wanted them to, that tell the stories I REALLY wanted to tell.

Again - its not about not being willing to compromise or settle or an insistence on things being the way you want them to be and no other way.

Its about the fact that everyone has to decide for themselves what they’re willing to compromise and what they aren’t - because it is OKAY to have things you’re not willing to budge on, you’re not rigid or unreasonable for having SOME things exist as dealbreakers for you, that make or break whether you head in a certain direction when a multitude of other directions are open and available to you.

And similarly, its up to the individual to figure out for themselves WHERE they’re willing to settle and in what ways....and where and in what ways they have to stand firm because settling there means sacrificing too much of what’s most important to them.

Like I said, for me, personally? The journey and the destination are the same thing. Whether I’m acting or writing, I view it as just different forms of story-telling. THAT’S the career I secretly dreamed of even as a child.....it was never that important what medium I told the stories through or logistics or superficial elements....the important part was the story, that was the point, that was the endgoal. *Shrugs* That’s all that’s really most important to me, priority uno at the end of the day: finding ways to go through life maximizing my ability, my freedom to spend my time telling stories, MY stories, the ones only I can tell because I’m the one that came up with them and they don’t exist outside my head, and telling them the way I truly want to tell them, the way they seem to me are MEANT to be told - because there’s only so far and only certain ways you can deviate from a story as you initially conceive it before it becomes actually a different story, that says something other than what you actually meant for it to say.

Big audiences and large royalty checks and movie deals and getting to use characters that others created but I fell in love with and see myself in all the same - all of that is great and has its place. But to me, the stories themselves are the point, they’re what any story-telling skills or talents I have seem FOR....

And if I’m going to bust my ass telling as many of the stories that pop into my head as I can, to the best of my ability, in hopes of them reaching the most people in ways I WANT them to reach people, resonate with them, speak to them, always trying to become better with each story I tell, each criticism I’m given, not out of some expectation I’ll ever actually craft a ‘perfect’ story or some sense of moral superiority, but rather just because stories IMO are meant to be enjoyed, and the better each story is, the more people are likely to enjoy it and what else is even the point of story-telling if you ask me personally...

Well. I’m just saying. If I’m gonna put in the best work I can either way, put in the time either way, and basically spend the majority of my effort, time and life telling stories one way or another.....

I’m sure as fuck only doing all of that so I can tell MY stories. Not someone else’s stories. 

Because when writing for DC, even for the chance to write characters I’ve loved for most of my life....also means having to shove each story I want to tell through a woodchipper that shaves it down according to someone else’s priorities, expectations and rules for how and in what ways I’m allowed to use which characters and to what ends or what degree - or worse yet, a whole COMMITTEE of someone elses - when all of that is going to whittle away whatever story I WANTED to tell, to such an extent that by the time it actually ends up in front of readers, it stands as much chance of being the story one or more of them actually wanted out there as it does of still being or saying anything I actually wanted or intended.....

Then as much as I used to dream about writing the X-Men or Green Lantern or Nightwing as a kid.....now, I’m more than comfortable saying nah, hard pass. I’ll go my own way with my own characters in terms of professional content and output, even if it never gets me as far as working for Marvel or DC might. And it costs me absolutely nothing to do so. I lose nothing in making that choice.

Because for me, its the alternative that would actually feel like settling.

And if any writers out there prioritize differently or choose differently or see all this differently and writing Dick or Bruce or Jason or some other existing character is still the dream, and the goal they still focus on working towards....there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as its what works for you, and aligns to what YOU prioritize as most important for your career, art, goals and how you want to spend your time and effort as a writer.