Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 1
Still reeling from finding out the truth herself, Lena suddenly finds herself in the midst of an odd role reversal in which she knows that Kara is Supergirl, but Kara no longer has any idea she has ever been more than an ordinary human.
And what’s more, Lena has no choice but to keep the truth from her for her own protection…
This and previous chapters also on AO3
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Alex: Have you seen Kara?
Lena glanced at her phone and raised an eyebrow at the text lighting up her screen.
That woman had such a nerve.
She ignored the message and turned back to her computer, only to have another text ping in five minutes later.
Alex: Seriously Lena, she was due back hours ago and I haven’t heard anything. I need to know where she is.
Lena huffed irritably, but gave in.
Lena: I have no idea where she is. Kara and I are no longer friends, remember? I’m sure she’ll turn up in her own time.
Lena: We both know she can look after herself.
Alex didn’t respond again, so naturally Lena assumed that Kara had indeed turned up in her own time, and that everything had been fine after all.
That is, until she saw the headline in the news a week later:
SUPERGIRL MISSING?
She almost didn’t click the link.
Since she had found out the truth about Kara three months ago, Lena had done her best to comprehensively uproot the weed of their friendship from her life, and so far had been reasonably successful.
She had deleted Kara’s number from her phone before she had even made it back to her jet after her run in with Lex.
On the flight home she had called her assistant and asked her to make sure that Kara Danvers was escorted off the premises immediately should she show up at L-Corp, and had left a similar message with the security staff in her apartment complex.
Selling Catco had taken a little longer, but only because dealing with such a large asset could not be rushed. She might have been in pain, but Lena was a shrewd business woman and ensured that the sale was made with a hefty profit, the value of the company boosted by the revenue generation improvements she had made while in charge. She had also wanted to take her time to pick the perfect boss for Kara: someone who would inarguably make the magazine more profitable as a business than it had ever been before, while systematically and comprehensively destroying everything about it that had made Kara love her job there.
The new three year contracts with a non-compete clause thrown in had been a nice touch.
She could have taken her revenge further than that – had even planned exactly how she would do it.
The night of Kara’s Pulitzer prize. A damning speech about truth and lies, followed by Andrea Rojas leading the exposure of Supergirl’s secret identity to the world. Betrayal returned like for like, and Kara left as broken hearted as Lena had been.
Oh yes, she could have done it. Luthors were scorpions, and Lena knew how to sting.
But something had held her back from taking the final plunge that would have ripped safety and anonymity so irrevocably from Kara’s life. She wanted to believe it was her own compassion – an innate goodness that led her towards the moral high ground and made her fundamentally better than the Luthors she had so often sought to distance herself from, but it wasn’t true.
The reason she hadn’t done it was Lex.
Maybe if she had managed to pull the trigger last time they met, if she had murdered her own brother in cold blood for the sake of her traitorous false-friend, maybe then she would have done it. If Lex was dead and buried and out of her life for good, Lena could finally have stepped out of his shadow and stopped framing every decision she made against what he would have done. But Lex was still out there somewhere, laying low for now but undoubtedly still scheming, killing, making the worst decisions a human being could make while still being labelled as such, and that made a difference.
Revealing Supergirl’s identity to the world was a plan that Lex would have wanted her to carry out.
And so Lena hadn’t.
That had been enough at first, but as the weeks passed and the first fire of her rage cooled from white hot inferno to mere black smith’s forge fire, she found she was glad that she hadn’t taken the nuclear option. Kara might have deserved retribution for what she had done, but exposing her identity would put everyone she knew, including the entirety of the Catco staff and her unsuspecting apartment neighbours in serious danger from every human and alien criminal out there with a weapon and a score to settle, and Lena wanted no more innocent blood on her hands than had already been passed down to her as part of her dubious Luthor inheritance.
And she didn’t want Kara to die.
That didn’t mean she cared if Supergirl really had gone AWOL. She had had nothing to do with it, and it was none of her concern anymore...
Lena clicked the link.
According to this site, Supergirl had been observed flying off to the north of National City on an ‘unknown errand’ eight days previously and had not been seen since, leaving two major bank robberies, a fire at a children’s hospital and a collapsed ceiling at a swimming pool without support from ‘everyone’s favourite hometown hero’.
Eight days. That tallied with how long it had been since Alex had asked if she knew where Kara was, allowing for the full day that had passed before the DEO Director had made the decision to reach out to her. It struck Lena now that it was an odd thing for her to have done under normal circumstances. She might not have done anything to Alex specifically during the first fierce storm of her separation from their little group – at least not beyond a few short, sharp words and a door slammed in her face – but Alex had taken Lena’s swift and total removal of Kara from her life if anything even worse than Kara herself had, and had been round to yell at her over hurting Kara’s poor little feelings before the end of the first week.
She must have been desperate to have reached out to Lena like that after all this time.
Now she was looking for them, Lena found that there were dozens of similar stories popping up, ranging from serious think pieces about what this could mean for National City and Supergirl’s own welfare, to tabloid trash that suggested she might be having some sort of torrid three way affair with a sexually promiscuous alien couple from Saturn (why Saturn? Unclear. What was clear was that the entire story was utter garbage apart from one essential point: Supergirl was nowhere to be found).
Lena picked up her phone and tapped in Kara’s number, her chest tight with unease as she waited for the call to connect.
Of course she knew Kara’s number by heart. If she hadn’t she would never have been able to make herself delete it from her contacts.
It rang.
Maybe Kara was carrying a big stack of files and didn’t have a hand free to get her phone out of her back pocket.
And rang.
Maybe she was in the shower and didn’t want to rush out to answer the phone while wet and covered in shampoo.
And-
‘Hi this is Kara! I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave me a message and I’ll get back-’
Maybe she was just screening Lena’s call. After everything that had happened between them it was what most people would have done, and Lena would understand that.
She hung up and redialled.
‘Hi this is Kara! I can’t-’
Kara would never have ignored a second call from Lena. No matter how angry she was, if she could pick up the phone, she would have done so by now.
Again.
‘Hi this is-’
She tried Alex instead.
This time, the phone was picked up before the end of the first ring.
‘Do you have Kara?’
A stone thudded into the pit of Lena’s stomach.
‘She really is missing then?’
‘Fuck. Yes she’s missing. You didn’t even know?’
‘Not until I saw it on the news just now. When I didn’t hear anything more from you after that last text I assumed she’d made it back safely’.
‘No, you had just answered my question and clearly didn’t want to help, so-’
‘Yes well, I thought she had just taken a detour to France for crepes or something, not that she was actually gone’.
‘Right, and you were so concerned you waited a week to check’.
‘Much as it may surprise you to learn this Alex, I don’t make a habit of keeping tabs on people who have betrayed me. So if you don’t want my help finding Supergirl I’ll just-’
‘No, Lena, wait. Look, I’m sorry okay? I’m just worried about her. If I send you the co-ordinates for her last known location do you think you could see if you can find anything? She went after this weird energy signature we’d picked up, but then her radio went dark and we couldn’t get anything else from her. We went out there to see if she was in some kind of trouble, but the place she was headed: it’s just a field. There’s nothing there, not even a trace of the energy we got before, and no sign of a struggle or any kind of indication of where she went next’.
‘Send me what you have and I’ll see what I can do’.
‘Sending it now’.
Less than a minute later Alex’s email arrived with the relevant details about Supergirl’s last known location attached, as well as everything they knew about the energy signature she had been investigating.
It wasn’t a whole lot to go on, except-
There was something vaguely familiar about the signature. It reminded her of…
Lex.
It reminded her of Lex, and the trap he had once devised to lure in a certain type of pseudo-photosynthesetic alien who fed on a very particular wavelength of light that wasn’t naturally produced by Earth’s yellow sun. Once it was absorbed the aliens could be hooked up to a generator that would produce massive amounts of electricity and could have made fossil fuels all but redundant overnight. In theory. In practise however Lex had never been able to make the conversion work, and had eventually given up on the plan.
So why was it showing up again now? And what did it have to do with Kara’s disappearance? It seemed far too much of a coincidence to imagine that the two things were unconnected, especially when Lex was the common thread.
Quickly, Lena skimmed through her options, and picked one she could adapt to this new purpose. The DEO had been scanning for days with no luck, but she had one thing they didn’t.
She knew her brother.
It took another two hours to fine tune the software and upload it to a satellite with scanning capabilities, but at last it was ready. She cast a wide net, centred on the location Alex had given her but stretching out from it to search a 30 mile radius. If it really was Lex then the place he had lured Supergirl was a decoy, and would be located well away from wherever he actually wanted her to end up.
She had to extend her search parameters twice, but at last she found it. Not the same energy signature – that would be too obvious. No, what Lena had been looking for was the special coded frequency that Lex had developed in his teens. To most people it would look like background radio noise, but Lena knew better.
It was him alright.
She reached for her phone to call Alex, then hesitated. All she had actually done was locate her brother, or at least somewhere he was broadcasting from. But the site was more than 80 miles from where Kara had last been seen, and Lena was working on a hunch rather than any kind of real evidence that Lex had taken her.
Besides, if the DEO got him they would just send him back to jail, and it had become abundantly clear that a maximum security cell was not enough to contain him.
No, Lena was going to have to do this herself. She would find Lex, and if he really had kidnapped Kara, she would finish what she had started the night he revealed the truth about Supergirl.
She was going to kill him.
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Fic Prompts: Snippet Thursday
Following up from last week's poll, this week we have Prisoner Exchange AU: Jak gets in trouble (we all knew it had to happen sooner or later)
The second his boots hit the sand, Jak knew he'd screwed up. He could see Damas waiting in the vehicle pit, having what looked to be an extremely intense conversation with Sig. And Jak knew it was his fault. The idea of facing the wrath of the king was far from appealing, but he disliked the idea of Sig taking the blame for his stupidity.
"So do we face the music, or fake our deaths and flee the country?" Daxter asked morosely from behind him.
The question was answered for him when Damas looked over at them. Oh, he looked calm at first glance, but his eyes radiated fury. He pointed at them, and then to the ground beside him, and his meaning was clear:
Get your you-know-what over here. Now.
"Dun-da-dun: we're dead," Daxter announced.
"Extremely dead," Jak agreed.
Nevertheless, he ignored the way his stomach churned and twisted around his ribs, and picked his way across the sand.
Being in trouble was nothing new for Jak. In fact, most of his memories involved getting punished for one escapade or another. But this was the first time in recent memory that he could remember being anxious about getting in trouble. He'd seen Damas angry a few times before, but it had never been directed at him. In spite of everything they'd gone through, and everything they'd worked to build, Jak felt his pulse racing, and the old familiar instinct to fight for his life.
When he'd reached the men, Jak opened his mouth, intending to defend Sig. Damas beat him to it.
"What were you thinking?" he demanded.
Jak had thought that would have been obvious.
"That...I...was gonna clear out the metalpede nest?"
The glare he got in return warned him to try a different tack.
"Look, don't blame Sig. If he hadn't gone with me, I would've gone without him."
Damas did not appear to like that any more than the last statement. A muscle in his jaw twitched, and he narrowed his eyes at Jak.
"I told you not to enter the canyons until you had all three amulets."
"I'm sorry, okay? But we lost seven people to that nest!" Jak defended, flinging out an arm to gesture to the walls. "Egil's goons are already pushing past the river and winter's on the way. We can't afford to lose any more scouts!"
"I cannot afford to lose you!" Damas snapped.
Jak flinched away from his harsh tone. A mixture of confusion, nerves, and wounded pride compelled him to retort, "I'm trying to help! I live here now, remember?"
Damas closed his eyes and took a deliberately slow breath. Sig, Jak, and Daxter exchanged nervous glances. They knew full well this didn't herald anything good.
"Sig," Damas said through gritted teeth, "take the boys to their room, then wait for me in the aviary."
Sig nodded, but didn't verbally respond. He seemed to be feeling much more guilt than Jak did. He stepped to the left and put a hand on Jak’s shoulder. Before they could leave, Damas turned and cleared his throat.
"Wait. Give me your gate passes- both of you. You're all confined to the city until I decide what to do with you."
Privately, Jak thought that being deprived of his gate pass was a heavy punishment already. But Damas seemed mad enough that mentioning it might cause him to prove Jak wrong. He kept his mouth shut -- somewhat belatedly, so much for Damas’s attempts at teaching him negotiation -- and let his father take his gate pass away.
Well, this sucks, he thought, but knew better than to voice it.
When they'd walked far enough to be mostly out of earshot, Daxter remarked, "Well, that could've gone worse."
"Might still get worse," Sig sighed. He ran a hand over his head. "...Damas is right. I almost got us killed out there, cherries. He's got every right to be mad."
Jak tugged at his amulet restlessly. "You didn't want me to go along," he argued, "Doesn't that count for something? He's acting like I didn't take on a Swarm King with just Daxter and a gun!"
Sig ducked into the archway leading to the tower entrance and grimaced.
"No, he's acting like a man who lost his only son for years, and then had to deal with him recklessly risking his life on something that takes an entire team to accomplish. He-"
The big warrior stopped and blew out a frustrated breath. "You scared him, cherry. We scared him. And if anything had happened to you today, it would've been on me."
He shook his head and stomped into the lift.
"Two years I spent tearing Haven apart to find you, and then I let you waltz right back into danger. Unbelievable."
Jak settled into the corner of the lift and waited a few seconds until the silence became uncomfortable.
"Sig," he said, "You knew us before he did. In Haven, I mean. You know what we can do! You wouldn't have been able to stop me from joining the mission."
Guilt plucked at his lungs until he added, "I never meant for you to get in trouble, Sig. Usually we're the only ones who get blamed."
Sig's prosthetic eye whirred as its focus narrowed onto Jak’s face.
"Whatever was "usual" in Haven," he warned, "you're better off forgetting it. Things are different in the Wastelands, you know that!"
"I'm trying to help!" Jak argued. Why didn't anyone get that?! If he was capable of helping, he was obligated to help, wasn't he?
The lift locked into place and Sig pushed him out into the empty throne room. "You want to help?" he muttered, more to himself than to Jak or Daxter, "Maybe quit acting like it doesn't matter what happens to you as long as a job gets done."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Sig shook his head and pointed down the side corridor. "Just...go on back to your room, cherry. Precursors willing, Damas will have calmed down by the time he makes it up here. But I wouldn't be expecting that gate pass back anytime soon."
"You can't be serious," Jak groaned.
He was.
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The room had seemed impractically large the first night the boys had been "quarantined" in the tower. Now it felt like the walls were closing in as Jak paced the circumference of the chamber for the fifth time. It had already been an hour, and there had been no sign of Damas. Somehow, that was worse than him being mad. When you knew it was coming, but they made you wait-
That was one of the most terrifying parts of the Baron’s prison.
As Jak started his sixth circuit, tracing his fingers along the wall, he passed Daxter lying on the bed.
"Huh," Daxter said aloud, wrinkling his nose.
"What?" Jak paused mid-step to look down at him.
Daxter sat up suddenly with a furrowed brow. "Say uh...you don't think Spikes was- nah, he doesn't seem that touchy-feely."
Jak thought of Damas holding him, the night he'd finally understood who he was. He thought of fierce embraces and quiet tears and kept them to himself.
"What do you mean, Dax?"
The ottsel fidgeted, and Jak recognized the emotion coloring his eyes as regret.
"It's just..."
Daxter's ears drooped.
"When you go off without me, I know you don't need my help. And I know you can take any monster that comes your way. But I worry anyway -- I can't help it! I lost ya for two years, and sometimes I get scared! Osmo, back in Haven, he called that traumatic stress."
Jak felt a pit in his stomach as he sank back down to sit beside Daxter on the bed.
"Oh," he said quietly.
He'd known, of course. Daxter always wore his heart on his sleeve. But he never talked about it.
"Do- do you think Spike Dad feels like that?" asked Daxter, gnawing on his lip, "cos if he does, I'm gonna feel like a heel."
Jak was silent as he contemplated that. Traumatic stress, huh? What would've set off-
Oh. He'd snuck out. Damas probably found his room empty. Did he have a flashback, like Jak did when doors were locked? Had Jak caused him to panic?
With a groan, Jak put his face in his hands.
"I suck at being a son," he grumbled.
"In our defense, only one of us has been actively parented before this," Daxter suggested, but it was half-hearted.
His ears twitched, first up, then back down again.
"Do...do you think he's gonna yell?"
"If he yells, I'll yell back," Jak answered hesitantly. "But I don't- I don't think he's going to be like Samos. I just...haven't decided if that's a good thing yet."
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Damas entered the chamber well over two hours later to find his son pacing like a caged caracal. By the slightly disturbed furniture, pushed away from walls here and there, it looked as if Jak had been at this for a while now. From all that Sig had told him, he could guess he was in for a fight. Considering what he'd been put through before returning to Spargus, the boy understandably did not take well to any perceived threat to his autonomy. But the moment Jak spotted him, his shoulders slumped.
"So-" Damas began, trying not to read too much into how resigned Jak looked.
"Look-" Jak interrupted, then winced slightly.
"I- We're...sorry," he said haltingly. "I...just wanted- I just wanted to help you."
He looked so earnest. Damas didn’t doubt he and Daxter had managed to talk Sig into letting them turn his scouting mission into a search-and-destroy. It was hard to argue with a face like that. Did the boy even understand what he'd done wrong?
"Oh Jak," Damas sighed.
He lowered himself to the small couch by the window and beckoned him over.
"Come. Sit with me."
Jak hesitated, but complied. The couch was small, but he tried to give Damas as much space as possible. He picked at a scar on his thumb and didn't look up.
"Why you?" Damas asked. When Jak didn't immediately answer, he prodded his shoulder. "Hmm? Why did you, specifically, have to go kill those metalpedes?"
Jak shrugged. "Because I could. Because I'm harder to kill than other people. Why risk them if I don't need to?"
From any other Spargan, those words would've been commendable. Coming from his only child, they burned Damas like brands pressed into his skin. Jak should never have been taught to see himself as expendable. He should never have suffered as he had. And yet Damas had failed to protect him.
"And you gave no thought at all to Sig’s warnings that this was a task too dangerous for one person?"
He watched his son's brows quirk as if something about the question puzzled him.
"Wh- when, um, when we were kids," Jak mumbled, "Nobody actually...cared...if we were doing something dangerous. Not unless it inconvenienced them. They expected us to do these things. To...to earn our keep."
When he looked up at last, Damas was frowning thoughtfully.
"Hmm. I...think I understand."
Damas turned that thought over in his mind. It would do no good to get angry now: Jak would just think it was directed at him. Still, it was for the best that the people of that tiny village were far, far beyond his reach.
"My son," he said, gently but firmly, "You must unlearn what your captors drilled into you. You are home now- you are free now. Those expectations do not apply."
For a moment, Jak said nothing. Then he whispered, "I don't know who I am without them."
Daxter peeked over the arm of the couch with an endearingly miserable look.
"Jak didn't mean to scare ya, and- and Sig just came along to watch our backs! Don't be mad at Sig, er, sir."
An honorific out of Daxter? Hell must have frozen over. It was this, more than anything, that told Damas that the boys truly were sorry.
"Sig didn't do wrong by going with you," he allowed, and dropped a hand over the couch arm to rest over Daxter's head. "But he did not inform me of what was happening, or give me time to form a larger team. That is what he did wrong- and what you did wrong. But we are not here to discuss Sig. We are here to decide what consequences I need to set to ensure that this does not happen again."
Both boys winced, and Damas noticed Daxter curl in on himself as though shielding himself before a blow. Jak schooled his face into an emotionless mask.
Damas regretted his promise to spare Haven for Jak's sake.
"You will be confined to the tower for six days," Damas announced, forcing himself to ignore the boys' reactions. "If you want your gate pass back, you'll have to earn it. Show me that I can trust you to make better decisions."
"And...after the week is up?" asked Daxter tentatively.
The king shifted his weight and ran a hand over his face. Alright, Sig. I'm choosing my battles.
"Before I came in here, I was going to ban you from the Arena trials until midwinter," he admitted.
Jak stiffened beside him, the protest already on his lips.
"But," Damas continued, "as you seem to have a better understanding of the gravity of the situation than I had initially thought, I offer a compromise."
Jak flexed his fingers and glanced over nervously. "O...kay?"
Damas offered a small smile in response. "You will only be barred from the Arena until you can escape me in a sparring match. How long that lasts will be up to you."
Jak sagged with relief -- and Daxter suddenly got a lot more anxious. Sure, Jak could fight metalheads the size of buildings and come out on top. But Damas had something the metalheads didn't: opposable thumbs.
This probably wasn't going to be as easy as Jak was thinking.
"Thanks. For...for not yelling," Jak said unexpectedly. "Daxter doesn't like yelling."
Damas dropped his other hand across the back of Jak's neck and squeezed affectionately, just the barest hint of pressure.
"If you have to shout to make your point, you've already lost control of the situation," he advised.
He caught the incredulous expression passing between the two boys and chose to let it go. They were still learning what it was to have a childhood. Lessons in leadership could come later.
"I know you're still getting to know me," he said hesitantly, "Perhaps the restrictions I place do not make sense to you. But they exist because I care about your safety. I fought to make this city one in which you could choose your own path. So you wouldn't have to fight for your life."
Daxter stretched up on tip-paws. "But that's why Jak fights!" he protested, "Cause he can't stand the idea of anybody goin' through what he did!"
Damas flinched, ever so slightly, and Daxter regretted bringing it up. It was fairly obvious that Damas had the same kind of survivor's guilt that he did.
"I...don't know a whole lot about dads, sure, but he's just doin' what you do, doesn't that count for somethin?"
Damas shook his head, but he didn't appear to be disagreeing. He only whispered, "I should have been there."
Daxter knew what he meant.
After a moment's hesitation, he climbed up onto the arm of the couch and tentatively patted Damas’s shoulder.
"Aw, look. Jak, uh...Jak has always been pretty fearless about runnin' into danger. Even before things went sideways! He used to wade out to the sandbar to save stranded Lurker Hounds, even though he knew they were gonna try and bite him! He uh, he had to learn that from somewhere, right?"
Jak raised his head and blinked. He'd sort of figured he'd learned it from his own elder self in an eternal loop. But...could Daxter be right? Was that wild, fearless, reckless little kid simply acting like a normal Wastelander?
"Maybe you fought so he wouldn't have to," Daxter suggested, merely thinking out loud, "But maybe he decided to be just like you? I mean have you met him? The kid's got a head like a rock!"
"Dude, really?" Jak glared at him.
Damas’s smile was bittersweet at best. "It is...a nice thought, Daxter," he admitted, "Admittedly, Jak...was quite stubborn when he was Mar."
Impulsively, he swung his arms close, dragging both boys into an impromptu embrace.
"However, you are still grounded."
"Darnit!" Daxter fumed.
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