#but then idk what happened but they didn't get it anymore. my grandma found a place around the corner from her house though

[imwritesometimes]

sourdough bread my beloved 🥖❤️🍞

[inazumaclown]

idk if i already said it here but i think level-5 is a monument for character design. their characters are memorable in any games or series they produce, even when they're a little too much, their designs have a peculiar, lovable charm, i really really like them.

anyway here's me rating the GO designs of the OG characters :

endou is the fucking favorite. you can tell the studio really did their best for him. even without watching GO, you can tell he's still his old passionate self but in a cool and matured way. you can tell he's coaching kids and you can tell the kids love him and he loves them in return. 10/10.

kidou is great. of course he would be wearing a suit to coach middle schoolers, this is what being kidou is about !

i do think the new goggles are a little goofy, but haruna gave them to him, so of course he would wear them without hesitation. you can tell he's still awfully serious, but also no longer ashamed to monologue about his (occasionally stupid) special interest of the week if asked.

i would have advocated for longer dreads rather than, idk sorta untangled dreads ? but you know what, this is great. 9/10

i'm in love with kazemaru. always has been. his hair is perfect.

i just don't get why he got the coraline's yellow raincoat drip. it tells me nothing about him. i can't guess if he is an athlete, a hairdresser, a mangaka, a drag queen, a military sergeant, a carpenter or a sugarbaby. i'm left alone with my headcannons, and no clue how to prove they make sense. 5/10

i love that fubuki shirou, canonically the prettiest boy in the world, decided by himself to dress like sheldon cooper.

i like that when he put his coat on, he looks like a hobo. he didn't even had to try the hot snowboarder style, he already knew he'll be a good-looking hobo. i like that for him. choose for yourself king, you don't need anything. 8/10

my man looks so good in this. he doesn't realize he looks like the lovechild of yakuza and a mafioso. he doesn't realize why the grandmas are scared of him at the supermarket, but it's okay. i know he's well paid, he's still hardworking and professional, he's stable in all aspects, and he smells like a very masculine, expensive perfume. 11/10

of course, fubuki and him are happy and in love, and nobody gets how it could have happened when they walk side by side.

ah, fudou. some would say his new style is a glowdown, but i almost disagree.

true, he doesn't look punk and alt anymore, but i can tell that now, he's a true leftist. he looks like he doesn't have a job. he always smells like *spicy* cigarettes. everybody in his neighborhood knows and likes him. he owns almost nothing, yet everybody owes him something. he's an anarchist but he still votes, because he wants to do his part for a more peaceful future. he does throw rocks at cops during social movements. 8/10

kidou and him are also happy and in love. they fight all the time for petty things, but it's their way to say 'i love you'.

kabeyama almost didn't change, and that's good. he looks nice and polite and like a wonderful freehugger. i trust him. i could give him my firstborn, i know the kid would be well-fed and in bed at a reasonable hour. 10/10

i don't remember why kogure was in GO. it had to do with haruna i think, which is good, i like haruna. whatever he's just taller. 4/10

sakuma looks nice. the longer hair looks good. he would look better if genda was with him though. 6/10

tobitaka. my boy. he found his place. giving him the rai rai ken was such a good idea. it's not about the looks for him. it's about happiness, and he looks happier now. 10/10

tsunami ! the last member of the B4. he didn't change that much, which saddens me a little, but maybe it was because his design was always good. 7/10

toramaru. same boy but taller. they made an effort with his hair, i'll give them that. he looks like a lost management firm intern. i hope he finds the printer next to the coffee machine. i also don't remember what he does in the series. 5/10

glasses suit hiroto. he looks serious enough to do a serious job well, and still weird enough to say some deranged stoner shit without anyone asking after one (1) sip of unalcoholic beer. good for him. 7/10

midorikawa lost a bit of his theater kid charm, but i guess this is what happens when you work in foster care. he looks like a great mom though. 6/10

i'm disappointed. aphrodi deserves better than a boring ass suit. i mean come on, that man doesn't NEED to look professional, he is literally named after the goddess of beauty, he deserved better than that.

the side ponytail looks good. so sad for the little bleaching accident. he should cut that. 4/10

i can't clown megane. i look like that man. i wish him well. 7/10

WELL THAT'S THE END, I HOPE I DIDN'T FORGOT ANYBODY :D

(gouenji will have his own post.)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas, idk if this matters to the what I'm gonna say because I am not planning this in the slightest but it's talkative mom anon.

My brother's not helping and I don't have anyone else to talk to rn so... is that sad? I feel like that's a bit sad.

(Just a bit of a warning I talk about a relative passing away a lot in this)

Anyway I wanted to vent about this specific thing that I remembered that still makes me so angry.

So basically my grandmother (on my moms side) passed away around 2 years ago. Actually yesterday was her birthday. Anyway, I live abroad and she died before we could get back to the US, so I didn't get to say goodbye. Which crushed me. I was very close to her. She was one of my favorite people ever.

So we went back to the US for the funeral which meant I was missing the first 2 months of school. But instead of letting me take those two months to process my grief my mom made me do school online. Which meant that

1. I was the only person in my entire class that was online and

2. I was doing school from 8 pm to midnight because of time difference. (She only made me do school for half the school day so I should be more grateful 🙄)

Neither her or my dad worked online or otherwise the entire 2 months we were there. I think I remember her making me do school the night of the funeral as well (like wtf).

It didn't help that my dad got an air bnb that was in the basement of a person's house who was living there, on a farm, had cockroaches, was a 30 minute drive from our relatives, and had 2 bedrooms which meant I was sleeping on a pullout. Which is completely fine for a week or 2 but it was 2 months without a room to myself. My bed was right in front of the bathroom so if I was asleep (after midnight because school) my brother would climb on my bed and wake me up to get to the bathroom. Again that was fine. What pissed me off was that as soon as I was awake I was expected to put the pullout away so i didn't inconvenience my parents. If they found me awake and still in bed in the morning then I wasn't allowed a bed anymore and had to put it away.

So I didn't have a room, was being woken up by my brother every night, and wasn't even allowed to lay in bed for 5 extra minutes while doing school until midnight while my parents weren't working at all, all while grieving my grandma I didn't get to say goodbye to.

I would also like to mention that I don't like physical touch from people sometimes and my parents (specifically mom) like to make fun of me for it. And for a year after my grandma died when I told her I wasn't comfortable with hugging right now she would guilt me into hugging her because "I can't hug my mom anymore so you have to hug me" when I was still processing and grieving over my grandmas death.

Sorry for rambling. Again. Thank you, your answer to my last ask was so kind and helpful.

Hi hon!

Honestly, it sounds like your family has a bit of trouble with boundaries and with respecting your needs. I'm so sorry that's happening, I know how invalidating that can feel.

Remember that just people that's happening, it doesn't make your feelings or needs any less real or valid. You also have a right to (respectfully and kindly) say what you need. Because these are adults acting this way, this can be scary and you need to be respectful, but you can say, for example, "This is my body and I have a right to say I don't want a hug right now. It's nothing against you." And then you don't have to feel guilty when your mom reacts negatively. Her feelings are HER problem.

It's okay to set boundaries. It's actually very healthy.

[spikesbimbo]

Silver spoon

Pairing: ukai Ikkei x f!reader

Tags: made this a Mafia au just so he would have a reason to have a gun, nurse!reader, actual age agp, gilf, gun play, gun fucking (?), idk giving his gun sum sloppy toppy, oral sex, creampie

Summary: how to be a beneficiary 

wc: 3.5k

@keishinslove , come get ur mans, ; ), @fawn-daydreams thanks so much for the pic! @dreamsandabyss

18 + Minors dni

“Look, someone has to have it...” he spoke into the phone, leaning back as you did with him. The feeling of his warm body against yours putting you to sleep, resting your head on his chest as you curled up into him. 

His smirk widened as he ran his hand down your sides, enjoying your company as you grew more comfortable in his lap, the feeling of cold hard metal touching your skin as you adjusted yourself on his legs, seeing it peek from below his waistband, handle hanging out of his belt reminded you of what he was, breaking you out of your daydream.

Looking up at him as your hands rested on his chest and neck, pulling away from his stroking his scuff and fingers untangling themselves from his golden chain. Getting off his thighs seeing as this call was going to last long, legs growing numb, jestering with your hands that you were going to the kitchen, responding with a subtle nod as he watched you leave.

Hearing his voice get sterner, sending chills down your spine as his tone changed completely. “Send guards up there to get him…. and hold him until they arrive.” Seeing that he got confirmation, as his head tilted back, a sigh escaping lips as he rubbed his eyes. Eyebrows furrowing, not knowing if you should have left him there alone, just putting it in the back of your head that you left some time for him to cool down.

Walking down the staircase headed towards the kitchen, almost still getting lost in this villa as you remember him telling the first time you came here ‘it was down the staircase and to the left’. Stopping to look at the big picture of him hung up on the wall followed by many others, looking like a victorian portrait encased in the glass frames made you realize how big of a name they really were, generations following you down the hall as you continued moving down the steps.

Finally seeing the walls of windows and the bar you felt relieved, walking up to the fridge and opening it, seeing every drink but water. Grabbing some type of lemonade as you leaned against the marble counter while you took a sip, tasting the unknown alcohol in it as it hit the back of your throat, quickly coughing while smacking your chest a few times to calm it down. Tears filling your eyes as you shakily set the glass down.

“Sorry about that. Should've probably just drank it all yesterday.” 

You turned your blurry eyes to see his grandson, an almost spitting image of him when he was younger, noticing him handing you some water that you wanted in the first place.

“What a surprise...” you choked out, lifting the bottle to your mouth, throat finally feeling some ease.

The two of you had an almost sibling-like relationship, starting from the moment he met you after you patched his friend up in an alleyway, not even questing or caring why, moving on with your day like nothing happened.

Guessing you were on your way home from work, seeing you in scrubs, and after running into you again he swore it was fate. Persuading you to join them as you easily said yes, knowing you wouldn't say no the salary and the ‘benefits’ that came along with it, just wanting to finally relax with your student loans paid off.

But the last thing he would've expected after all of this, was you, with his grandad. Essentially getting yourself stuck in this kind of life, knowing that you'd never be able to leave as soon as they found out you were 'with’ him. But you obviously had a smart head on you, letting you do whatever your heart wanted as he supported you. Grabbing another drink from the bar, this time knowing it was alcohol as you two joked around for a minute.

A smile appearing on your face when you heard steps walking towards you, seeing ikkei appear from the corner of the hallway as keishin turned his head and guessed right, looking at you already skip over to him like a puppy following its owner.

Greeting you while he let you cling onto him, arms wrapped around his as he lifted his hand saying hello to his grandson. All his attention on your pretty little smile as his thumb traced your cheek, bringing up your hand to his lips, placing his lips on it gently as you were acting like you've never been touched before, giggling shyly into his arm as he chuckled out.

Keishin gagging at the sight before him, “Why don't you just retire already,” not wanting to see this cringy shit anymore, but deep down just wanting him to be safe and content, never seeing him smile this hard in his life. Knowing he's never felt this way before, his ex wife being set up by an arranged marriage, she wasn't bad but he definitely didn't love her along with her complaining, but luckily a quick swipe of his card shut her up, finally divorcing after all theses years.

“My dad isn't still too young to take over, you know?”  

“No.” he stated, stepping outside to light his cigar, resting his back against the wall as he took a puff. “Great men are taught, not born.” He uttered out, choking on the smoke as he brought it back up to his lips. He was dependable, not regretting having his son at a young age, but swearing to never push this life on his son and grandson until he was gone.

“Yeah, he's stubborn.” keishin uttered under his breath, running his hands through his hair as he grabbed his drink and keys, walking towards the door while waving a quick goodbye to you.

“How the hell is someone younger than me gonna be my step grandma, can’t get someone your own age to date you?” he chuckled out in awe. But at the end of the day he was on your side, family was family, defending you like your own personal bodyguard. Hearing something along the lines of “She’s some old man’s sugar baby.” almost daily until he ‘took care of it’ a few months ago.

“You're just mad, that an old man like me gets more than you.” ikkei laughed, coughing out the rest of the smoke while coming up behind you. Wrapping his arm around your waist already pulling you back to his office as you gladly let him.

“Ok, shitty old man.” keshin replied, closing the door behind him. He knew it wasn't because of the money or the power, because there were many other men on his level trying to win your attention. Thinking there must be something going on in your head to be with him, and there was.

Love.

The first man to ever make you feel some type of way, to make you blush. Was it practical, no. Putting it to the back of your head that he would be long gone by the time you were even close to his age.

But the way he made you feel so light and free around him after only being here for a while. Looking into your eyes as you fixed him up, making you genuinely laugh as he didn't want you to stress over him, surprising him that you were just naturally calm.

You two fell for each other quickly, not even lasting a week before you two fucked. Hearts appearing in your eyes around him; not caring about having your own family, just becoming part of his as he always kept his promises. 

“You wanna go out later.” he said loosely wrapping his hand around your waist, pulling you back into his lap. “m’sorry i haven't had time for you lately.” Looking up at his gray hair, eyes moving down to his body still this toned after all these years, aging like the finest wine.

“No.” you mumbled out, fingers running down his chest, getting caught up in his chain again. “Just wanna…..stay with you.” A shy smirk appearing on your face as the words left your lips.

Leaning into your shoulder, lips touching your neck as he whispered into your ear, scruff tickling your jaw as you let out a slight smile.“Stay with me, hmm? And what does that entail...?” 

Already getting off his thighs, standing in front of him as you ran your hands up your body, his joining you as he wrapped them around your waist pulling you closer to him, chin resting on your stomach while his hands gently rested on your hips. “No one has ever managed to capture my attention like you have.” he said, hands lingering on you.

He had no shame in admitting it, his words plaguing your head, “I always tell the truth, no matter how hard it is.” Looking up to your flustered face, no one could ever make you feel as loved and appreciated as him.

“Ok old man.” you giggled out, taking your time stripping in front of him. Resting your hand on his shoulder for support as you slowly slid your skirt down, hugging your ass just right as you felt his soft, intense gaze never once leaving you. Eyeing you up as you fumbled with your buttons, hands meeting yours taking it off for you, being bare as the day you were born.

“You getting on your knees pretty girl?”

Nodding while letting out a quiet, shy “yeah” at the words that left his mouth. Lowering yourself onto the ground, trying to replace your timidness that only came around him. Hands resting on his knees working their way up his thighs, his stress already disappearing as your fingers played with his zipper, eyes locking with yours as you pulled it down.

The nervousness leaving you as his warm hand rested on your cheek, whimpering in need as your gaze fell on the hard cold metal that was standing before his cock. Resting on his abdomen, cunt growing wetter at the thought of the previous events, wanting it in your mouth, fucked down your throat.

Reading your mind, already loosening his pants enough to set it free. Pointer finger resting on the side as he parted your lips, immediately giving way. Tongue sticking out lewdly, spit and drool already falling off the tip of it, his other hand angling it down toward your mouth. “You trust me, don’t you Baby?”

Moaning out another muffled “yeah” at the weight of the barrel resting on your tongue, pushing it deeper down your mouth, the whines getting caught at the back of your throat. Body growing tingly, cunt leaking onto the floor as he gently bobbed your head head back and forth until you got the hang of it.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck... your sweet little mouth taking it all.” Whimpering at his words, eyes fluttering open at him, meeting his gaze as your vision grew blurry. Hands reaching for his cock, working there way up his thighs until you felt his bulge, groaning at the touch. Wanting to make him feel as good as you.

Letting your spit make a mess on his fingers as he slowly pushed the glock farther down until you choked on the muzzle. Pulling it out at the lewd sound of your wet gasp, catching your breath, looking at your lashes still wet, lips covered in drool. Dragging the spit covered barrel down, sliding between your tits pressing it against your nipples, shivering at the cold feeling. 

“You gonna let me fuck your throat, sweetheart?”

Nodding quickly, letting out a strained “mhmm” as you moved your fingers around the base of his cock. Adjusting himself as he stroked it a few times before letting you take control. A moan leaving his mouth as you tilted your head to kiss his tip, parting your lips without his help as you flicked your tongue against it, your shiny lips making a mess already.

“Fuck angel, such a good girl. Open up that little mouth more for me sweetheart.” His hand came behind your neck, the firm grip leaving your mouth open as he pulled himself out, admiring the sight below him as the praise made you listen to his silent command. Soft wet smacks from him slapping the head of his cock against your tongue, looking so lewd, like the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life.

“… goddamn baby. Fuck…”

His scratchy voice letting out another moan as he leaned back onto the headrest of the couch. Your trembling hands gripping onto his thighs, nails leaving imprints as he continued to abuse your throat. The office was quiet besides the filthy wet sounds of you choking around him.

Opening your lids and gazing up at him, pupils so wide and eyes so red. Looking the prettiest you could, so needy and compliant, letting him use your throat as he pleased. “That’s it, angel… oh, fuck…m’gonna-”

Tears freely down your cheeks as you gagged, little strings of saliva dripping from your chin, body on fire as his thrusts got rougher, fucking up into your mouth as his hands gripped tighter around your neck holding you in place.

Sealing your lips around him, sucking in more as his hips stalled, grabbing your head with both of his hands. And with a long groan, music to your ears, shoving your face all the way down into his crotch, balls resting on your chin as you felt him release in your mouth, so hot and thick. Doing as you were told, always wanting to be his good girl, someone he could always rely on, someone he could always use when needed.

“You okay?” He asked, stroking your cheek as dizzily shook your head up and down. Reaching his hand forward, tipping your jaw upward to see you better. Cunt throbbing as his eyes met yours, clenching and releasing around nothing while he dragged his thumb across your swollen lips. 

“Words, sweetheart.” His voice was soft and stern, ordering you around gently as you did you best to choke it out.

“y-yes”

“Let me see.” Parting your lips, with his ring covered finger, mouth opening to show him that his cum was still there. Smiling as he let go, muttering out “good girl.”, mouth closing as he let you swallow, the salty taste making you wince under your breath while he pet the side of your face down to your neck. 

“You sure angel? ….You know i don't like lying.” he said, resting his hand on your cunt, fingers dipping in shallowly as you almost went limp in his hold, Knees locking just in time, so focused on keeping your composure that you didn't see him smirking at your state. His finger curling inside you, as you tried to hold back your whimper, body unconsciously rocking back and forth into his hand.

Finally snapping, trying to be on your best behavior best you couldn't help it anymore, knowing what he was doing to you. “Please,” you whined out. “Want you to fuck me like you always do, want you to fuck me so good.” No shame left in your body as you started taking action, nails clawing into his bicep, your eyes half lidded trying to hold back the tears forming.

Letting out a whine muttered by your teeth sinking into your lips when his hand pulls away, lingering there not for long as he easily hikes your leg up over his waist, aligning his cock to your dripping cunt, rubbing it over your folds, teasing you, wanting to make his sweet angel beg. 

“i-ikkei, please” you lead, gripping his arms, as pushed into you slowly. Cooing at you for being so patient with him. Head dropping onto his shoulder as a broken noise escaped your lips, legs tightening around his waist, clenching around him.

Pushing the rest of himself inside you, hissing as you swallow him up in your warmth. “Fuck sweetheart, you always… feel so, -fuck, so goddamn good,”

“Relax baby,” he groaned out, head thrown back. “Little cunt’s so tight, gonna get my will instead of my kids if you keep it up.” Your smile barely forming before it gets cut off, moaning at the painful feeling of his cock stretching you out.

“Such a... fuck, such a good little girl for me,” He praises, hot breath on your neck as you clench even tighter at his words, the feeling of bhim so deep inside of you, nudging your cervix making your head spin. “So pretty,  I'd do anything for you, you know that?”

“m’close.” you whimpered. His love confessions making you lose your mind completely, nails digging into his chest, slightly groaning at the sting.. “Please, p-please please,” you begged through a sob, tears swelling up in your eyes. Placing his lips on yours before you can gasp out begs anymore. Trying to whimper out his name before he fucks you roughly with a thrust that hits your g spot, making you cum all over him, sticky wetness enclosing the both of you as it dripped down his balls and onto the sofa. 

“There you go baby,” he muttered against your lips, but you’re too far gone to even pay attention. Working his cock inside of you, gently pushing up into your cunt as your shaking body twitches in his hold, eyes rolling to the back of your head from your orgasm, still trying to come down from your high. “You know I always got you.”

He pulls out of you slowly when you have calmed down but you weren’t done. “w-wanna make you cum.” your croaky voice pouted out.

“Hm? You already did sweetheart.” Shaky legs positioning yourself on top of him, resting your hands on his shoulders. “no...want you to cum in me.”

Watching as you spread open you cunt, placing his tip on your entrance. Looking down at him with a heavy lust in your eyes, not wasting any time sliding back into you. “You’re so greedy.” He says into your ear, a roughness to his voice. Back arching as his arm wraps around your waist, leaning back to give him a view of himself bottoming out in you. The feeling of the fullness already has you cumming again. “...So fucking perfect.” 

Rubbing your clit with his fingers as his lips attached to your nipple, locking you in his hold, your body trembling from the overstimulation. Cock repeatedly ramming into your g spot as your cunt is being lovingly abused. “Fuck” He mutters out, words getting trapped into your skin, fingers pinching your swollen clit, letting out a loud sob as tears break free. 

“Fuck baby, I’m close.” He said, breath growing sporadic as his hips start stuttering. Chasing after his high, fingers slapping your clit as you squealed.

“C-, cum in me, please. You gotta, p-please!” You cry out, pushing him over the edge. Breaking free of your tits, mouth letting out deep groans as he is spilling his load into you, coming for the third around him. Body freezing up, seeing black and stars, walls clamping around him even tighter, wanting to milk him dry for everything he's got. 

Not even realizing that he's holding you into him, balls resting on you cunt as he's still inside of you, knowing you'd throw a fit if he pulled out. Body slump and tired as he presses a light kiss on the top of your head, large hands soothing your body as they worked their way up and down your back.

“I-, I love you,” you choked out, resting your head into his shoulder. His heart softening as he kissed your lips softly, sighing as he leaned back with you in his arms. Gently humming to ease you into sleep, not caring how he was gonna take care of this later. ”I love you too, baby.” He whispered into your ear, looking around his office full of money and countless items worth millions, but none made his heart race like you could, not even close.

“...I love you, more than you'll ever know.” 

[origami10]

2.18.2022 Friday

Tour in the morning, uh... lunch, oven frozen empanada, quick walk to the pokestop, went in to do the storeroom in the afternoon, talked to the trainees for a long time. I think I watched Aiura during lunch, it's better than I remembered, I 100% forgot the plot but can still sing along to the OP

listened to more of An American Marriage

watched Olympics, skating, women's...?

2.19.2022

watching a whole bunch of short animes for club, most are bleh but a couple are really good, Aware Meisaku-kun is one of the good ones

went to St. Vincent, got a highlighter yellow vest and hat, crunchy shirt, mustard yellow jeans, and two brown coats and another pair of boots to use for making Yang, I'm excited to cut up that one coat and see what I can do with it! i figured $10 for a coat would probably get me like 1 yd of the same material new, so...

went to the library and crammed as many volumes of manga as I could into my bag (checked out), gonna try and see what they're like to make better recommendations

had grilled cheese at 4 pm, gave up on dinner, watched more Olympics until I couldn't take it anymore, chat/lack of topics to chat about with friends, getting ready to finally come visit next weekend! caught up on Kouchuugun

maple cinnamon roll. Oh, and found out I get bonus Wordle because I never closed my tab on the original :D

2.20.2022

Pokemon Arceus (as every day recently), chocolate croissant, went to grandma's and she told us about her furniture, I assumed it was all passed down but apparently her family used to go antique shopping too... so that's another reason it's all so old. Hadn't really realized how weird it was until we've been watching Anne with an E lately and we have the same furniture

packed up for three weeks, spaghetti, more audiobook, helped some plastic break down, finally spots :( finished Squid Game ep 6 it was as bad as I'd been told (sad, not bad, really)

oh also Chi's Sweet Home has an anime with 2-minute episodes, and halfway through the second one I was already crying

okay yeah... closing ceremony of the Olympics was tonight but didn't watch, did see the highlights from the exhibition skate

oh and I just wanted to write somewhere that I'm feeling kind of lost again since kanji kentei happened, I might dive back into Duolingo... also talked about pay schedules, caught up on fandom twitter, and apparently there won't be many guests from Japan for the event I was going to interpret for, and they only gave four interpreters, idk if they're gonna need that many (me) or not, but that might be for the best

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 287 SPOILERS

(It’s one big ol’ family reunion!)

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YAS QUEEN!! FUCK HIM UP!!!

AFO is like "Look Tomura, it's a dead girl walking, and not any dead girl but your grandma. Isn't that pathetic!" Idk man. Tomura is currently trying to get away from you so he might not appreciate your taunting rn.

AFO is talking about how the "ghost" of the people who's quirks he stole would come out and haunt him in the form of nightmares but then it would stop happening after he got rid of the quirks and he didn't understand what was happening until he met Ujiko.

She's here to kick names and take ass. Wait.

AFO is saying some more shit but he not important rn. Nana says "So you're Kotaro's..." and Shiggy is all "Doesn't matter why you're here, I blame you for my problems too." Which I mean, she couldn't have known this would happen. She just wanted the best life for her son, a safe life away from the OFA/AFO drama. She couldn't have known that her future grandson ended up *accidentally killing his entire family, being found and 'adopted' by her mortal enemy, and be raised as said enemy's new vessel. But you know what they say about Hindsight.

Tomura decides to kill Nana again by using decay, however all he's apparently eroding OFA in the process. I thought you wanted this quirk, Tomura.

AFO doesn't even fucking care that Tomura doesn't like him anymore.

Tomura's rage isn't enough. The decay stopped right by Izuku. If Izuku dies here would he die for real or would he just not wake up? I guess that's the same thing, huh?

So OFA the person shows up and is all "You manipulating kids now brother" and AFO is like "Just save us all the time and effort and give me the quirk." It's like Izuku isn't even there lol.

OFA says they choose stay with "this body" tho I couldn't possibly fathom why considering "this body" is currently broken beyond repair but go off I guess. Oh yeah and OFA starts pushing Tomura back.

I like how when OFA was standing over Izu he was posed like how someone controlling a puppet would position themselves but there weren't any strings attached to Izu, and here in this panel you can see all the strings attached to Tomura. I don't know if that's something significant but I thought it was cool so I pointed it out.

Is AFO about to out himself here? He says he's been watching through Tomura but for how long? And how would he be able to see the vestiges through him?

Oh he was watching Midoriya. Ok so AFO is basically listing all the reasons why Izuku is unworthy and incapable of weilding OFA and leaving it to him was his mistake roll credits.

Idk if that's the kind of behaviour you should be encouraging in a 16yr old but I think it's the type of encouragement he needs in his current predicament. Tomura looks like he's suffocating and I don't like it.

Shouto is gonna be soooooo happy you're not dead.

(Edit: I forgot to add this but he ended up not getting the quirk after all lmfao. All that hard work really was a waste. Ah that's funny.)

AFO is trying, once again, to convince Tomura to relinquish control of his body while Izuku is silently pleading with him to not do that. MEANWHILE GIGANTO APPEARS TO BE CLOSING IN AND DABI IS VERY PLEASED TO FIND OUT SHIGGY AND ENDEAVOUR ARE IN THE SAME PLACE.

Oh. Oh that's not good. I already talked about how I feel about that in another post and I refuse open that door again.

Toga's faith in humanity rests on the shoulders of her two crushes. Nothing could possibly go wrong their! /s

This chapter was a trip. I like that the reason AFO can't get OFA is because of his brat little brother and all his friends.

I really hope Shiggy doesn't give in to AFO. Nana met her grandson in the worst possible way and is probably thinking about her mistakes and everything she could have done differently. I sense a rematch between Ochaco and Toga and I'm here for it. Looks like everyone might get that Shouto Vs Dabi fight after all.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

Until next time.

[ethan-bears]

Home for Christmas (Nolan Patrick x Reader)

You've resigned yourself to spending this Christmas alone. But Nolan has other plans.

Author's note: I started writing this out as a thought to send to @lindylovegang for her soft thought night tonight but I realized it needed to be a small book whole fic instead, so I decided to do this instead of editing my final paper. This is also not edited. I might edit it later. Who knows.

Warnings: light swearing, holidays, slight angst but it gets fluffy real quick, it's my first fic so it's probably not great, I'm on mobile and I can't figure out "keep reading" and I'm very sorry

Word count: absolutely no idea but good luck fam

gif credit to: bretthowden

*****

This was not how you wanted to spend your first Christmas in Philadelphia. Ideally, you wouldn't even be in Philly at all right now. You should be on a plane back home to your family and friends and the warm, familiar streets of your hometown. You should be waking up tomorrow morning in your grandma's house with the smell of warm bread surrounding you like a hug.

But no. You were trapped.

The blizzard had started to roll in earlier this morning, and you thought to yourself that it wouldn't be that bad, right? It was just some flurries. They wouldn't ground any flights, right?

Oh how wrong you wound up being.

After three hours of waiting for news in the airport terminal, followed by another hour and a half desperately trying to reschedule your flight to a time that would still work and getting nothing out of every airline representative in the building, you somehow managed to get an Uber driver crazy enough to come get you in the ocean of snow. Fighting back tears, you tried to console yourself in the backseat. At least your apartment would be warm. And you had a little tree, so it would still feel like Christmas. You'd make some soup and Skype your family, and while it wouldn't be the same as being with them, it would be better than nothing!

"Reckless optimist," you sighed as you flipped the light switch to your apartment only to be met with continued darkness. Alone in a dark, cold, apartment on Christmas Eve, snowed in with nowhere to go in a city that came nowhere close to feeling like home. Merry Christmas. Slumping against the door, you felt your hot tears break free and cascade down your face. You decided to let all the stress and frustration that had been building all day take over your body, sobbing harder than you could ever remember. Each new wave shook your body, sending you to the floor. You didn't care. It couldn't get worse, so why not act like it?

During a pause in the festivities you decided to check your phone to see if you had any messages from your dad, only to find a text you definitely didn't expect from someone who was definitely not your father.

Sir Nolan the Rosy-Faced: hey, just checking in, i know you're probably mid flight rn but just wanted to make sure you land safely when you do. Crazy storm. Text me?

Sniffing, you paused to process the message. Nolan wanted to make sure you were safe? It shouldn't really have surprised you, but the fact that he was concerned enough to text you while he thought you were still midair was...touching.

You fired a short text back explaining that the flight wasn't happening, thinking he'd respond with a simple "okay" or an "oh, sorry to hear that :(". But the next text you got (mere seconds later) surprised you again.

Sir Nolan: oh my god that sucks! Wait.....does that mean you're home alone tonight?

Me: Yeah, and the power's out, so it's suuuper cold, but idk it's fine, I'll just layer up and go to bed early I guess

Sir Nolan: are you okay?

That one hit you like a truck. No, you thought, I'm really, really not.

Me: Yeah, I'll be fine

Sir Nolan: are you sure? Cause I can come over if you want.

Any other night, you would be losing your mind at an offer like that. Ever since you had met Nolan, you'd had the biggest crush on him. All other crushes seemed like weak sauce compared to how you felt about him. But you'd cried all your energy out. The best response your heart could muster was a meek, "Sure, but don't worry if the snow's just too much."

You were met with a resounding, "Already on my way."

You decided that if you were going to be having company you should at least get up off the floor. You shuffled your way into your bedroom, habitually flicking the light switch before you remembered it was pointless. You fumbled in the dark to your desk drawer, trying to find your flashlight, and once you found it you turned it on and started changing into your warmest pajamas. Now that you weren't just a puddle of self-pity, you started to think about Nolan's sudden inviting-over of himself. You first met him during training camp when your work friend brought you along to meet up with Travis, her boyfriend. She figured that since you were new to the city and also a huge hockey fan that it couldn't hurt to introduce you to some guys on the team and help you make some friends. You weren't sure what to make of Nolan at first. He seemed so quiet and awkward that you thought your own quietness and awkwardness would make conversation impossible with such a knockout of a man. You wound up being horribly wrong, once again, but that time it was in a good way. Neither of you were really the super-outgoing party type, so whenever one or both of you started getting exhausted with the atmosphere you'd usually drift off into your own conversation in a quieter part of the room. As a result, he became a good friend incredibly fast. It seemed there was nothing you couldn't talk about with him, even though you still got nervous about certain things. Like your personal feelings for him. But that had never come up before, so you were safe. For now.

You knew he knew all about how hard the transition to Philly has been for you. How homesick you get, how you can't help but wonder if you made a mistake taking the job offer that brought you here (even though it was your dream job), and how you felt like it was hard to click with so many new people. Which was probably why he seemed so worried about you being alone tonight. He knew you felt alone most of the time anyway.

An hour and a half had gone by and you were starting to get worried about him. He only lived 20 minutes away, and even with the snow, it shouldn't take him that long unless he was stuck and just too proud to call you. It had given you time to call your mom, which you were grateful for and made you feel a lot better, but you couldn't ignore the knot in your stomach anymore. You were just about to hit "call" when you heard a knock at the door. Or more like a thump at the door.

You practically sprinted over to open it for the man-sized popsicle with his arms full of grocery bags standing on your doorstep. You paused for a second with your mouth hanging open, both amazed by the fact that he actually came over and by...him. The cold made his already pink cheeks bright red, and the snowflakes were sticking to his long eyelashes and the free locks of hair that didn't fit under his beanie. You had never seen anything more beautiful in your life.

"Can...can I come in?" Nolan's teeth chattered, snapping you back to reality.

"Oh, yeah, sorry! God, Nol, you're shivering!" you remark, ushering him through the door. Not that inside was that much warmer, but anything was better than being out there.

"It's cold," he laughs.

"Wow, AND he's meteorologist!" you quip back. "What can Nolan Patrick not do?"

Shaking his head, he made a beeline for your kitchen, looking for a place to set his bags down.

"Took me forever to find a place that was still open tonight," he muttered, pulling what looked in the dark like to-go boxes out of one of the bags. You shined your flashlight up to the ceiling to make it light the whole room as Nolan continued to pull items from his three bags. You just stood there, still dumbfounded by him.

"Pat... what's all this?" you manage to squeak out.

"This," he said, pointing to the to-go tubs, "is soup. I'm not completely sure what kind, but I figured soup would be the best thing no matter what. I didn't know if you had any crackers, so I brought some saltines. And some oranges because I knew you'd want something fruity and healthy and oranges are festive. And this," he pulled a thermos out of the second bag, "is hot chocolate. Made it myself." He grinned, sliding it towards you, obviously proud of himself. You could barely contain your own grin, feeling yourself blush. You were proud of him too.

"I saved the best for last," he continued once you took a sip of the cocoa. You frowned.

"What else could you possibly have brought?" you asked, genuinely astonished.

He looked you in the eyes and gave you a smirk. Holy hell. You were glad he probably couldn't see how pink your own cheeks were getting. The things he did to you and he didn't even know.

He carefully pulled a basket out of the last bag, and you could see it was full of a bunch of other things. You couldn't believe it.

"Nolan..." You trailed off, feeling the tears starting to well up again. Inside the basket were a bunch of little gifts with a note that read "For: y/n, From: Us". It had some of your favorite candies, one of those cheesy home-state-scented candles, a scarf with your home team's name and logo on it, and a tin of your favorite tea from a tiny local tea shop in your home town. You tried your best to fight the tears, but you weren't strong enough, rendered useless from your earlier fit.

"Nol-" You couldn't even finish your question before your own sob choked you. You set your thermos and flashlight down to bury your face in your hands.

"Hey, hey," Nolan whispered, pulling you into a hug. You wasted no time in hugging him back, squeezing him as you sobbed into his chest. "Shhhh, it's okay," he muttered to the top of your head. He slowly ran a hand up and down your back, rocking you back and forth. It only made you more emotional. He had never hugged you before, and you hadn't been hugged like this in what felt like years. You just wanted to stay there in his arms forever and ignore the world around you.

"It was a team effort," he continued. "Some of us thought you could use some things that remind you of home."

"Who...who found the tea?" you said into his chest, muffled by his sweater.

"What?" He smiled, pulling out of the hug a bit to let you speak up.

You wiped your face and took a breath. "Who found the tea?"

He pulled the rest of the way out of the hug, much to your disappointment. He leaned his head down, staring at the floor.

"That was me," he mumbled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I remembered you mentioning it, and it was hard to work out, but they agreed to send me some." Somehow, his voice kept getting lower and lower.

You could hardly believe your ears. He remembered that? You swore you had only mentioned it once in passing after you got a really disappointing chai from a coffee place down the street. You had no idea he had been paying attention. And he went to all the trouble of getting a store with a locals-only business model to ship a product long-distance. You started to wonder if.... No, you thought, don't get your hopes up again tonight.

You stared at him for another moment, trying to soak in the situation. He seemed surprised when you went back in for another hug.

"Thank you so much!" you whisper, knowing that if you said it any louder you'd start crying again. You could feel him relax into the hug and gave him a little squeeze before you ended it.

"Soup time?"

"Soup time." Nolan nodded, practically beaming.

You sat on the couch, eating as carefully as you could in the dark, though your eyes were getting pretty adjusted. From then on, it was conversation as usual. It came so naturally with him that even when you weren't saying anything, you were still happy. You exchanged stories about your favorite Christmases, what you thought the best cookies are, and weird things your families do during the holidays for hours, barely even noticing the time or the cold.  At some point Nolan had pulled the blankets off the back of the couch and tossed them over both your laps. You didn't notice that you'd been getting closer and closer to him with every story until you laughed so hard you fell on his shoulder.

"Stop laughing!" He pouted, audibly trying to stifle his own laugh. "I almost got hypothermia. I could've died!"

"I can't...I can't!" you breathe between laughs. "You fell through the ice...but just one leg?!"

"Yeah, and I was stuck there on my side almost doing the splits between the ice and the water and my sister just stood there laughing. Just like you!" He nudged you, pretending to be annoyed. "But eventually she pulled me out and carried me back home. Couldn't move my leg for hours, it was just sticking straight out like..." He stuck his leg in the air, demonstrating, and only making you laugh harder. You could hardly breathe. You knew it probably felt funnier because of how exhausted you were, but you didn't care. Nolan had put a smile back on your face and back in your heart.

"Hey, Nolan?"

"Yeah?"

You swallowed. "I just... I'm not complaining that you're here, obviously, but... weren't you planning on spending tonight with Kevin and his family?"

"I was, but they've got each other, and someone else who's super special to me was sad and alone, which made me really sad to think about. You deserve to be happy and I wanted to help. Easiest decision I've ever made."

You really did not have it in you for another cry, so you settled for teasing him instead.

"That's really cheesy of you, softie."

"Take it while you can," he laughed.

"I know," you smiled.

Your eyes were starting to feel heavy and you let out a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Damn," Nolan remarked. You grunted in response, earning another laugh from him. "Wanna lay down?"

You nodded, leaning into his shoulder.

"You're warm," you sleepily drawl. You wanted to lay down, but you didn't want to get up to go to your bed. You wanted more snuggles, and right now you didn't care if he read into it or not.

He seemed to get the message, moving to lay down and taking you with him. He wrapped his arms around you after making sure the blankets covered you both as much as possible. You smiled contentedly, settling into your position and closing your eyes. You barely had time to contemplate how touchy he was being tonight compared to his normal reservations about hugs and touching before you were completely gone.

*****

Nolan woke up first the next morning. He was careful to move as little as possible to avoid waking you up. You looked so peaceful, curled up with your head on his chest. He felt his heart swell as you shifted to wrap your arms around his torso and fell back asleep within seconds. He smiled down at you, noticing how beautiful you were, even with your messy bedhead and your cheek squished against his chest. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Just the two of you.

The power had come back on at some point during the night, so it was no longer freezing in the apartment, and the lights on your tiny tree had come on as well. He glanced back over to the kitchen to the basket on the counter. It had been embarrassing enough to admit to being the one who hunted down the tea like a police dog, so he left out the part about the whole gift basket being his idea in the first place. He would've bought you everything himself, but he wanted you to know that you had other friends, too, and that they wanted to show you that they were thinking of you. The scarf was Carter's idea, the candy TK's. Claude had suggested the candle, and being the local expert on how to be good to the woman he loved, Nolan took the advice and bought the candle as well. It did make him strangely jealous of your hometown in a way he couldn't quite explain. He was worried that you would be looking for any excuse to move back home, which he really didn't want. If it made you happy, then of course he'd support you, but he'd never felt for anyone the way he felt about you. The way you laugh, how passionate you get when you talk about something you care about, whether that's a person, a subject, a place, or what the best pizza topping is. He loved everything down to the way you word your sentences. He loved how much you loved.

He was awoken from his thoughts by you stirring and opening your eyes to look at him.

"Merry Christmas," you mumbled.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled back.

You laid your head back down, enjoying the comforting rise and fall of his chest.

"You hungry? I can try and make you some breakfast. Emphasis on try," Nolan offered.

You laughed at the thought. "That'd be nice. But I don't wanna get up."

"Me neither," he sighed, tracing his thumb along your arm. He was not ready for when you suddenly shot off the couch, eyes manic and wide.

"Oh my god!" you shouted. "I didn't get you anything for Christmas! And you did all that last night!" You waved your hand at the kitchen. Nolan sat up, confused and cold, missing the weight of you on him.

"It's okay, y/n! I wasn't expecting anything."

"No, okay, I'm making you breakfast, and it's gonna be the best damn breakfast I've ever made. Lay back down," you insisted, marching off to the kitchen, wincing at the still-cold floor.

As nice as it sounded to stay under the warm blankets, Nolan didn't want to just sit there doing nothing. Suddenly he had an idea, even though it was a risky one. He decided it was a risk he needed to take eventually.

"Get out!" you playfully threatened, brandishing a spatula at him as he stepped into the kitchen. He put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I won't touch!"

"Good," you smirk, turning back to your pan.

Nolan shuffled around nervously, working up the courage to say what he wanted to. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I, uh...I have an idea for what you can give me. If you, uh, still want to give me something. Besides breakfast, I mean." Smooth, Patrick, he thought.

"What's that?" You met his gaze, making his stomach flip. The things you do to him and you have no idea.

"Maybe we can go out sometime? Like, just us. On purpose. To dinner or something?"

You looked like a deer caught in the headlights, making Nolan immediately second-guess himself. He bashfully broke your eye contact, focusing on the floor again. He felt the blush on his cheeks worsening.

"Are you... serious?" you ask, voice full of wonder.

"Of course I am!" he mumbled insistently. "Wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

You almost knocked him over with the force of your hug, a truly impressive feat.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!!!" you laughed, not even bothering to play it cool. Nolan smiled so much it started to hurt, but he didn't care. He felt like he could take off and fly, he was so relieved. The weight of the world was replaced by the weight of you clinging to his shoulders. And he couldn't imagine a better way to spend his Christmas. Maybe, just maybe, he thought, Christmas would be like this forever from now on.

*****

You relaxed into Nolan's arms as he followed you back to the stove, hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. Suddenly, you felt something more than the giddy high of getting asked out by your crush. You felt a sort of peace you hadn't felt since before you moved.

You were home for Christmas.

[limitless-rose]

The Signs as things I wanted to be when I grow up

[This has literally been in my drafts since December because I wasn't sure if each option matched with the sign I chose but whatever (it's also a long post again, oof)

Also I didn't really post anything related to 2020 so... Happy New Year, let's hope something good will happen this decade!! 💖]

♈ Aries: Be part of the army. I was quite fascinated by the idea of guns and protecting the nation and actually getting my life together. I was actually thinking about it for quite a while until I realized that in order to get accepted (at least according to the Greek system) you need to have excellent grades (especially maths/physics), to be taller that 165cm and to be excellent in sports. Guess what, I don't understand physics/science/chemistry, I've been about 158cm for the past 3 years and the only two sports I'm good at are badminton and tennis (while you need to be good at running, swimming and things like that I guess 😕)

✧

♉ Taurus: A chef/baker. Cooking and baking always seemed pretty fun. I would always sit by my grandma whenever she cooked/baked goodies and observe the whole process. I also got inspired by the movies "The Princess and the Frog" and "Ratatouille" and thought that one day I could possibly come up with my own recipes and open my own restaurant. But while growing up I realized that I can't cook properly when I'm stressed/multi-tasking (I'm capable of burning the food AND the kitchen if I get slightly distracted, ooof)

✧

♊ Gemini: A TV presenter or a weather woman. My mom told me that from the age of three I would always pretend to talk to an audience and answer questions from the callers or announce news/talk about the weather. Maybe that explains why I talk to thin air (as if I was a YouTuber) about anything and everything when I'm alone. Though it sounds cool, I don't really think I could do it now because I have social anxiety.

✧

♋ Cancer: A writer. I really like writing, I don't know why. Authors have been inspiring me since my childhood, I remember I used to read so many books and try to write something of my own based on it. 😅 I like taking notes and then re-writing them more neatly. I like re-doing old homework in a different style and see if I have improved. I really like writing in a diary/a bullet journal too, I feel like it's much better than bothering others with my problems anyway. I also love coming up with random scenarios/stories/characters and writing about it but I don't know if I should share it. Idk, sometimes I feel like my writing is a bit boring or that it's nothing that impressive. So, honestly, if more people took writers seriously instead of thinking it's a hobby as it doesn't always pay well (when did the world even start revolving around money that much, oml) and if I was more confident about my work I'd definitely chose to become a writer/author (I'm still keeping it as a hobby no matter what I end up doing, lol).

✧

♌ Leo: A model. Omg, I honestly don't know why I even thought of it. Probably because I really liked watching ANTM when I was younger (and I specifically chose the American version because the one we have in my country makes me cringe a lot, just hearing girls from my school talking about it is painful). My friends also liked the outfits that I put together or how I would always pose for pictures (a few years ago, I'm too awkward now asdfghjkl). Looking at it now it's just so funny. There's literally so much competition in the name of beauty, the community can get kinda toxic sometimes and the standards are pretty high. Also I'm way too short and I still can't walk like a normal person when wearing high heels lol.

✧

♍ Virgo: A teacher. Specifically, a teacher for elementary or even kindergarten. Back then, the concept of teaching seemed pretty fun to me and I had lots of ideas about how to make class more interesting. The thing is that I have good chemistry with most kids and I actually kinda dislike teenagers because of how rebellious we can get when it comes to school (idk but like teens in my country are like pretty rude to everyone 😐). I'm not so sure about it now, though it's still an option.

✧

♎ Libra: A psychologist. I always liked helping others out and offering advice when they're having a tough time and I was also curious to see what makes each person feel angry, sad or stressed and the way they respond. It's also interesting because you can learn a lot about someone's personality, preferences and way of thinking or understand what caused someone to commit a crime. I still really like psychology and it's one of my main options for uni. The only problem is that psychology is pretty much overrated in my country so people say it's best to choose something else. 😒

✧

♏ Scorpio: A criminologist. And, surprisingly, I still want it. I was always intrigued by things that required research, was interesting in learning what caused a murder/crime to be committed and I would always watch crime thrillers with my dad. I also like it because it's a field of Sociology which is one of my favorite subjects. I'm just hoping finals aren't super difficult so I can get accepted in the college that I want on the first try lol.

✧

♐ Sagittarius: A flight attendant. Back then I found it kinda fun, as I was always curious about what going on a plane is like. It could also be because of their outfits (like the ones you see in movies or in Britney's MV for Toxic, idk why 😅). Plus I would get to travel around the world without paying as much as the passengers. But then, at the age of 14-15 I got on an airplane 4 times and I saw that it wasn't really like the movies and that literally everyone ignored the flight attendant so yeah, it's not an option anymore. ✈️

✧

♑ Capricorn: A fashion designer. So because I would always draw and constantly ask for new crayons/markers and other art supplies, my mom bought me a few coloring books that focused on fashion. It came along with stickers, stencils, ideas for Victorian dressses, advice for how to design lace or mermaid tail dresses and I was so impressed. A few years later, my grandma showed me a few dresses that she had made for my mom when she was younger (which were so gorgeous like I'm definitely going to wear one of them on my graduation day) and taught me sewing. I also got to see these small floral designs that you usually see on lingerie and it was so pretty, I wish I could do it as perfectly as her. I decided to follow my grandma's advice and keep it as a hobby instead (because she ended up doing nothing but designing clothes and repairing them which she regrets 🧵🧶).

✧

♒ Aquarius: An astronaut. This was pretty random, I have to admit. I guess I really liked space and looking at at the stars in the night sky. I read a few books about space and learned a few things about NASA back in elementary too, though I realized that it's something I could never really do, as you have to sacrifice a lot. I'm still fascinated by this profession but there's no way I could ever do it, since I can't even understand basic physics or mathematics. 🤷‍♀️

✧

♓ Pisces: An artist. Honestly I didn't really care if most artists didn't get recognition/fame or if they didn't earn enough money, I just wanted to make art because I liked it. It's also fun because while you are expressing your thoughts through an art piece, another person might interpret it differently, based on their likings and thoughts. Art also plays an active role in my life: I've been drawing and painting since I was 5 and I would always watch the show with Bob Ross on TV with my grandma. Instead of completely giving up on this idea, I thought that I could choose another profession (also my family didn't really like the thought of me doing art for a living 😐) and keep art as a hobby.

[spaeve]

rant time im sorry

my brother doesn't live with me (he's almost 28) but he came home for the holidays and will stay here until the other monday, but the problem is that he's lowkey a piece of shit. he doesn't respect my boundaries, never leaves me alone and is always treating me like a little child and annoying me.

his relationship with my parents sucks so my whole family gets even weirder and more annoying while he's here (if i laugh too loud my dad might show up in my room to tell me shut up and stuff like that). my brother is always disrespecting my parents and they start ignoring him and getting mad at anything and everything.

it always kinda ends up falling on me, because i have to try to spend time with my dad, with my mom (who is also currently dealing with a LOT of bs from her sisters bc my grandma is really bad, so my mom has been spending so much time at her place and stuff), and also with my brother. if i dont spend time with my dad he starts getting madder and madder, and if i don't spend time with my brother he starts treating me poorly, even if not intentional. but my dad cannot stand spending time with my brother so 🥴.

adding to that i have a huge exam on feb 5th and 6th to try to get into college (the system here in brazil is pretty different so it's hard to explain), and i didn't study shit during the pandemic, so now i have to spend my summer break studying for it.

my parents were always chill abt how much i did or didnt study, but now, out of nowhere, my mom started getting super mad if i don't study. with that she started getting mad at my brother too and is making him "teach" me everything (but he doesn't remember anything anymore bc it's been 11 years man...). in conclusion, he is studying WITH me everything.

the issue is that he's a genius (like srs, he has a super high iq) and loves to study chemistry, math and physics. and i am a depressed adhder who hates chemistry math and physics. he wants to study (those subjects) all the damn time and he does it easily, while i can't fucking sit still for long and i can't stand those subjects. i need frequent breaks and he doesn't, but since he's studying with me i have to follow HIS pace. it's hard for me to understand and remember stuff and he CANT understand that bro. (also im on my summer break, i dont want to study 24/7...).

and when i'm not studying he still DOESNT LEAVE ME ALONE. im autistic, i need time alone to recharge but he won't give me that.

and this leads to days like thursday, that my mind was overwhelming me and him not leaving my room for anything making it even worse. what happened? i started having a breakdown and doing harming stimming. my mom wasnt at home and when she got home and found out i wasnt studying she got mad and started saying shitty things to my dad. this made everything worse and i forced myself to study while still super overwhelmed and went non verbal.

yesterday was friday and i was expecting that after i finished studying (at 1am) i could lay in my bed to read some fics, watch cm, whatever, but nooo i had to spend 2 more hours with my family in our tiny living room eating snacks and watching tv, when all i wanted was alone time.

they all think im just extremely lazy, and sure i am sometimes, but they dont and will never respect my neurodivergence and my struggles.

(idk how to end this i just wanted to rant but i doubt anyone read all of this so it's cool)

[girltomboy]

CRAZY DREAM i was at home on my street near the road and there were some dogs with me that were mine apparently - now i realize it was just the same version of my dog twice - and they were grazing on the grass on the side of the road lmao and my late grandma was there. i just felt her presence in the dream. then we had to go home but i had to go to this farm / amusement park with adele, so i went to the bus stop but there was another brown dog following me, and he was a little bit sick so i was like come with me buddy so i put him in a little bag and took him with me on the bus and stayed near the door so i wouldn't bother the dog too much, and he was so gentle and quiet and just stayed in the bag didn't try to fight it or get out of it. and he was looking at me with grateful eyes and i was petting him and noticing he was grey around the eyes + snout, which meant he was def old and probably sick too. and i got off the bus and he just disappeared, like i was looking around for it but he wasn't there anymore. then i met adele and i was like well maybe someone will find it and take care of it. then we were in this landfill area and i was seeing a lot of stuff that was unfortunately covered in dirt or shit so it was unusable. and my eyes stopped on this book with like a mother gorilla and her gorilla babies around her, and the title was in big blue block letters and it said "babies who are hugged are happy babies" so i was like i want that book but i kept walking cuz just like everything else there it was covered in dirt. then we had to take a car to this playground farm and a man took us in his truck or the back of his van i don't really recall which one it was but lol this is perhaps the most unrealistic part of the dream. then we got there and some lady gaga song was playing in the atmosphere, and someone was talking about an entrance fee of 50 euros and i was like im wasting money again (this is like a real life problem of mine lmao) and i didn't pay but acted like i did lol. then i heard adele say she was going to use these gigantic slides made of steel, but i couldn't see her anywhere and i could only hear the music and i was starting to wonder if i had really heard adele or just the song, but i went on the slide anyway and it was kinda terrifying but before i made it to the bottom i saw like some stats for adele with her commentary and she was saying "i got ___ points and jumped a few times" and i was like idk wtf she talking about but whatever. then we did some more cool and dirty (literally) stuff around the farm and there was also this ex high school colleague of mine who dropped some money in a dirt box and i was helping him retrieve them and i asked him how much did he drop and he said a number but in the box i found more than he said, so i took it and gave him what he said and kept the rest lol. THEN it was getting dark and adele and i were taking photos and eating something, don't remember what but it was delicious. and we were fucking around on some hills at sunset. and she took a really good photo of me and i was like i should make this my profile pic while she was talking about how good everything in it looked. then i was at my home in my grandma's room and she was asleep and my mom came and took her in her arms to put her in her bed and she looked d*ead that was kinda terrifying but she woke up and started saying something as my mom was carrying her but i couldn't make out what cuz she was already in another room. and then adele was hugging me from behind and she kissed me a few times and i was so taken aback that i didn't know how to react but then i snapped out of it and kissed her back. then honestly i don't know what else happened cuz i think my brain stopped functioning properly after the kiss lol. maybe i'll remember later