#but then the issues they have resurface over time because (like I said) they haven't fundamentally changed as people

[fromtheseventhhell]

I'm sorry for coming to complain but I have something to say: I already know that in this fandom there are many opinions about what Arya and Sansa's relationship is going to be in the future and that we always complain that the Sansa stans talk about Arya as if she were going to become a servant of her sister, "one is the strength and the other intelligence", which are going to complete each other and all that shit (among all the other stupid things they have said) I agree with complaining about that because they are erasing attributes of Arya's character THAT SHE ALREADY HAS, and that we have always talk about Arya being a character apart from Sansa, someone who has her own story, her own purpose and that her whole character is definitely not reduced to just becoming her sister's employee after she always treated her badly in the their childhood.

Okay, I agree with all that. Those types of comments bother me too. But I feel that as a result of this very silly arguments have been born about why Arya and Sansa could never be friends because "they are very different, in personality, experiences and worldview" I'm sorry but I don't agree with that because, it is true that they are different, but let's not pretend that they don't have many things in common, and this goes beyond their personal characteristics or the fact that they share an entire family.

How different are their experiences? Yes, one is the red fortress and the other has to travel thousands of kilometers but in the end they both went through similar things. Both saw their father die, both were abused, both were beaten, both have been sold into marriage, both have been sexually abused, both have met cruel people and have had to pretend another identity to survive. The fact that it is in different contexts does not take away from the fact that they do have similar experiences, so that argument is very silly. And I don't say it with the intention of saying that Arya and Sansa are going to be the "best sister foreveh" I just hate that argument cause it dosen't make any sense, also throughout the asoiaf universe we have seen how completely different characters have had a great relationship come on.

Tyrion and Jaime are also wildly different and loved each other, Sam and Jon are also wildly different and no one is saying they could never be friends.

Also, it bothers me that they ignore the fact that Arya DOES care about Sansa, maybe Sansa doesn't care about Arya that much but Arya has always been fond of her sister, even when she was cruel to her.

Again, I don't come here with the intention of saying that they are going to be the best sister forevah and all that, I just hated that argument and also pls don't erase that from Arya's character either! that she has always been a good sister to Sansa, even if it was not reciprocated she was always loyal to her people, to her "pack"

Plus Arya and Sansa's relationship is definitely deeper than just "respect." Way more.

I feel like this is a good example of my earlier point that Arya stans need to over-explain points/theories to not have them taken maliciously (especially if they included Sansa). I still want to answer this in good faith though, because I don't believe you intended it to come off like that.

But I feel that as a result of this very silly arguments have been born about why Arya and Sansa could never be friends because "they are very different, in personality, experiences and worldview"

I will start by saying that the theories about Arya and Sansa not getting along aren't retaliatory to the fandom's perception of the "Stark Sisters 4ever". The idea of them not getting along is based on their conflict in AGOT, them being written as foils, George saying that they have issues to work out, and the fact that their characters haven't fundamentally changed since they've been separated (i.e. what's in the books). They've both been through a lot but trauma isn't a substitute for growth, and the issues they have will still exist. A big part of their conflict is Sansa's classism, which leads her to look down on Arya, and she has yet to grow out of that trait. If she reflects on this in TWOW then that's a different story. For now, we have to speculate with what we have. Not only that, but I could see Arya having less patience for her sister's behavior considering everything she's been through. There could be mutual hostility.

Tyrion and Jaime are also wildly different and loved each other, Sam and Jon are also wildly different and no one is saying they could never be friends.

As for this, the difference is that we're shown these characters having a positive relationship on-page. No one says Jon and Sam can't be friends because we see their friendship develop. Tyrion and Jaime eventually have conflict, but there's also a caring relationship built between them before that. Arya and Sansa have tender moments and fond memories, but their relationship is mainly antagonistic in the first book. If we had seen them getting along well before and, say, the trident incident had been the source of their conflict, that's an entirely different dynamic.

I just hated that argument and also pls don't erase that from Arya's character either! that she has always been a good sister to Sansa, even if it was not reciprocated she was always loyal to her people, to her "pack"

I don't think anyone with this prediction is ignoring Arya caring about her sister, it's more about the lack of growth on Sansa's part. While Arya tries to apologize and bridge the gap, even thinking of ways to please Sansa (I'll kiss her and beg her pardons like a proper lady, she'll like that), we don't have any equivalent moments from Sansa. She has fond memories of them playing in the snow, thinks of naming a daughter Arya, and overall misses her family and I'm not downplaying that. It's just that it doesn't supersede the relationship we've seen play out between them (or the fact that she thinks of Arya as unsatisfactory even though she believes her to be dead). It shows that they love each other and could reconcile, but there's no guarantee. Arya can't maintain that relationship one-sided and, considering she's already tried to apologize, Sansa will have to put in some effort on her side.

Plus Arya and Sansa's relationship is definitely deeper than just "respect." Way more.

I don't think their relationship is built on just "respect", they do have sisterly/familial love but that isn't all-powerful. George has stated that he reworked the Starks to give them conflict because they were all getting along and "families aren't like that". I doubt that he'd go to that trouble just to conveniently get rid of that tension, especially considering the amount of sibling conflicts we see in this story. No house gets along perfectly and this is intentional! We aren't ever going to really know until we get TWOW, but I just dislike the framing of this theory as baseless or trivial.

[lalachat]

"And there you were..."

Author's note: HI! This is my very first fan fiction, along with my first time writing. I do not expect anyone to read this, nor do i expect this to blow up. This is simply just a thought i had in my head that I wanted to write down. If you are reading this I will and fully apologize for any grammar issues or typos. Again, I have a lot of learning to do so if this lacks flow or has too much filler let me know... KINDLY!!! Emphasis on K I N D L Y! I love and appreciate anyone who is planning on reading this silly lil story i wrote. I do plan on writing more chapters for this... hopefully some smut later on if this gets enough attention👀 ANYWAYS, I will be quiet now :)

Summary: Your mating bond had snapped for you as soon as you saw the shadowsinger, but he was too busy pinning after the second eldest Archeron sister to notice the bond. After watching them pin for one another, you decided Az would be happier with Elain. However, Mor has an idea to get Az to notice you. A night at Rita's with a scheme made by Mor goes south when you catch the sight of someone you haven't seen in years.

This is for all my Lucien girlies❤️

Warnings: um none? basically filler bc i'm a newbie at writing:) use of some profanity, alludes to sexual theme

Word Count: around 3,200

Chapter 1: "DID YOU JUST BITE ME?"

Lucien POV:

And there you were... standing next to the High Lord of the Night Court, drink in hand as your head tilted back in laughter. You looked even more beautiful than the last time he saw you. The only difference now is that he had found his mate, but he could not help the bubbling of old feelings trying to resurface themselves. Cauldron burn him because he was damned, and he knew it. As soon as his gaze met yours, he knew he was ruined.  

Y/N POV:

You were completely unaware he was here. You were too preoccupied with nursing your wine and talking with your favorite high lord to notice his lingering eyes on you. Mor had sent you on a secret mission tonight. It was your sole purpose while being here at Rita’s. The dress Mor gave you hugged your curves in all the right places, showing enough skin but keeping some left to the imagination for others. The plan was simple enough, try to get the attention of your mate and make him jealous. It sounds terrible, but it was the only way to get his attention on you. However, as soon as you got there, his gaze never met yours. You saw Az off in the corner, eyes strictly on Elain as she talked with him. Completely blinded by her beauty, Azriel's bond never snapped for him. This was your last ploy before letting him be happy with Elain. You knew Az would never see you in the light that he saw Elain in. You figured he would be much happier with a female like her anyways. Luckily, Rhysand had spotted you before you could turn away and called you over next to him at the bar.

“Ah well if it isn’t the lovely y/n showing up late as always,” Rhys said smirking handing you a glass of your favorite fae wine.  

“For your information, Rhysand, Mor came to my room at the last minute with a complete wardrobe change. Where is she anyways?” you said as you glanced around the room taking the wine from Rhys’ hand with a smile. 

“Well, I must say she has fabulous style. You look stunning y/n, but as of Mor’s location... I lost her to the dance floor as soon as we walked in. You know how she is.” Rhys rolled his eyes playfully as he sipped his own drink.  

“I should have suspected that answer” you laughed. “I am assuming the rest of the group is somewhere on the floor too? Should we go join them and show them our horrendous dancing my high lord?” you teased with a smile and bow. Rhys gasped and placed a hand on his heart. 

“Oh y/n, how you offend me! My dancing is quite fabulous if I say so myself!” 

“Yes Rhysand, your white girl dance moves are fabulous. However, mine put yours to shame, and you know it!” you say as you down the rest of your wine and offer him your hand. Rhysand’s eyes twinkle as he finishes his drink and takes your hand before leading you to the dance floor. He spots Feyre with the rest of the inner circle on the floor, near the corner where Az was with Elain. Feyre’s face lights up as she sees you. 

“Y/N!!!! There you are! We have been wondering when you would show up! Even got my mate out on the dance floor. I applaud you!” as she gives you the biggest hug. “You look exquisite!” Feyre says as she leaves to see her mate. 

Mor hears Feyre say your name, and she instantly runs over to you. “Look at you!!! I knew that dress would be perfect for you! SO worth the last-minute change because you look fucking hot!” She spins you around and pulls you closer. She lowers her voice to where only you can hear. “He has been glued to her side all night, but it is nothing we cannot fix, hm?” she says with a hint of playfulness. You look behind her to see Nesta and Cassian dancing alongside Rhysand and Feyre. Your heart falters at the sight of both mates enjoying one another’s company with laughter and smiles. How you yearned for something like that. They were both cauldron blessed. Mor followed your gaze and sensed your uneasiness. She smiled at you. 

“Do not falter y/n! We have a mission, and it is now on! Let us go be the badass babes we are and have some fun” as she takes you over to the rest of the group to dance. She positions you purposefully close to Az and Elain. You are both giggling as you twirl one another around to the music, tipsy off the amount of alcohol you both consumed. Everyone was getting lost in the music. You and Mor could not stop laughing at each other. Throats and bellies feeling warm from the alcohol. You both began to forget about the reason you came tonight. Until your gaze left Mor’s and connected with burning amber eyes and bright red hair pulled up in a bun. You stopped dead in your tracks and turned towards Mor. 

“Is that Lucien?” 

“Yes, he’s only here to keep his eyes on his mate, and well because Feyre had forced him to come,” Mor said while looking at you. “Why do you ask? Do you know him?” 

“I do. I just have not seen him in years. Him and I used to... um.... This feels weird to say aloud knowing he found his mate, but we were friends with benefits a LONG time ago” 

“YALL WERE WHAT?!” You decide to grab her hand and go to the bathroom for more privacy. You do not want the entire inner circle hearing about your previous sexual partners. As soon as you shut the bathroom door you turn to her to finish the conversation. 

“Mor you act like I am a virgin.” 

“Y/n I know you are not a virgin, but out of all the people to hear you have had sex with, I was not expecting him! I did not even know you two knew each other!”  

“Yeah, it was when I stayed in the spring court for a while. We met at a popular bar in town, and we instantly clicked. One drink led to another, and I took him back to my apartment. We were so infatuated with each other that it quickly became friends-with-benefits.” 

“OH MY GOD AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME? Y/N this is positively perfect!” You were shocked she took the information so well that you could practically see the gears grinding in her head as she paced back and forth.  

“Mor whatever you are thinking stop it now. I am concerned that you are this deep in thought while being tipsy.” 

“Y/n there has been a slight change of plans” Mor said with full confidence. 

“Should I be concerned?” 

“That my love is up to you to decide, but this is what you are going to do. You are going to talk to Lucien and...” before she could finish her sentence you stopped her with a finger to her mouth. 

“MOR ARE YOU CRAZY?! I must have had too much to drink because I could have sworn you said that I should talk to--” before you could finish Mor bit your finger and you yelped. “DID YOU JUST BITE ME?!” 

“Yes, but that is beside the point. Y/n, you are here to make Az jealous over you, are you not?” 

“Yes, but--” 

She smirks as she says, “And what better way to do it than to flirt with Elain’s mate?” 

Your mouth goes slack. “Elain is Lucien’s mate? Why has no one told me this?!” 

“It is because you are off in your own little world sulking over Az. Besides, none of us even knew you knew Lucien. They don’t even act like mates let alone talk to each other, so we forget half the time. But Y/n this is your chance! Not only could you make Azriel jealous of you, but you could also make Elain jealous of Lucien! Like I said, it is positively perfect!” 

“Mor I can't... this is becoming too much. I do not think I can do this.” 

“GIRL you are drop-dead gorgeous! Any male who does not see that can go die in a hole! You are worth so much more than a mate who refuses to look at you y/n. You can and you will do this! I will not let you sit here and do nothing. You must fight for him y/n, and if the only way to do it is to play dirty, then you must play dirty!” 

“Fine! I will talk to him, but nothing more and nothing less.” 

“Yes! Let us get this new and improved mission going! I cannot believe you and Lucien did it” Mor said as she linked her arm in yours and strutted out the bathroom back to your group. 

“And I cannot believe you BIT me!” Mor giggles as you stick out your tongue and rub your finger to sooth it. You find Rhys, Feyre, Cassian, and Nesta at the bar getting more drinks.  

Cassian boomed as he said, “There y’all are! We were beginning to think you both fell in!”  

Nesta smacked his arm and said, “Not all of us thought that. Some of us have the mental capacity to know that it was for girl talk. And I must say, whatever it is I want in!” She smirks at the two of you.  

“Oh, oh! Me too! Me too! I love gossip!” Cassian says as he swings an arm over Nesta to get closer to your conversation. 

“Cas go be a busy body somewhere else!” Nesta said swatting away Cassian as you and Mor both giggle at their banter.  

“We were just gossiping, it’s nothing important really,” you say hoping Nesta would catch that you really do not want to talk about you and Mor’s trip to the bathroom. Luckily, she seems to understand and gets up to lead Cass back to the dance floor. “Come on Cass, we can gossip with them later, I love this song!” as Cassian whisks her away to go dance. You can hear him faintly say “This is not over ladies; I have to know what it was!”  

You laugh as Mor looks at you. “He's such a drama king. All right, the time is now! No better time than the present right?? Now go,” as she pushes you toward where Lucien was standing. You glare at her over your shoulder as you walk to Lucien. You can see her smirk before turning around to join Rhys and Feyre back at the bar. 

“Mother above only you can save me now...” as you take a deep breath and finish walking over to Lucien. Your eyes meet, and for a brief second, all the memories come flooding back to you. You had forgotten how handsome he was. His fiery red hair, gorgeously tanned skin, and his burning stare that made you feel like the only girl in the world. You had to stop your mind from lingering too deep into the memories y’all shared because most of them were sexual. You would hate to finally talk with him again only for him to notice your scent.  

“Well, well, well, who do we have here? It has been too long Lu!” you say, and you give him the most wholehearted smile that you could muster.  

“Y/N! I was wondering when you would pop by. Always unable to resist me huh?” he says with a smirk, reaching to give your hand a chaste kiss. Your cheeks flush at the feeling of his lips on your skin. You can practically feel your skin burn from where his lips had just been.  

“Still charming as always.” He chuckles at your comment, and it makes your heart flutter. You were treading extremely dangerous waters. You had not told Mor this, but your previous friends-with-benefits with Lucien had you harboring a secret crush on the male. If it were not for the fact you and he had mates, you were sure you both would not be sleeping alone tonight. “You look nice, Lu.” 

“Thank you, as do you y/n. What are you even doing here at Rita’s? Last I remember you were still in the spring court.” 

“I was, until I decided that I wanted to see the beauty of the other courts. I was nomadic for a while as I traveled, but that changed as soon as I saw the night court and met a certain High Lord everyone now knows and loves.” You giggle as you remember your first encounter with Rhysand. “I fell in love with Velaris and the inner court that I had decided to stay. The rest is history.” You gave Lucien a warm smile. 

“If I had known you were here all this time, I would have come to see you! It's nice to have a friendly face around that’s not a part of the inner circle.” He says with a huff. 

“I get a sense you don’t really like the inner circle all that much?” 

“It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s more so that I don’t belong or fit into their group. Feyre tries to keep me in loop, and I love her to death for it, but it will not change the fact I am that group’s wall flower. The only reason I really stick along is for-” he catches himself. He doesn’t ever finish the sentence, but you knew what he was going to say. He was going to say, “for Elain.” You decided not to press the matter. 

“Well Lucien, I think you are the prettiest wallflower!” you say with a smile and slightly push his shoulder. He smiles and dips his head as he says thank you. “Say, I could use some more wine and it looks like you could use another of what you were drinking, want to come with me to the bar?” as you batt your eyelashes at him. He smirks and you can see an emotion in his eyes, but you can't tell what it was. 

“How could I say no to such a pretty lady offering me another drink.” He places his hand on your exposed lower back and guides you to the bar. His hand feels like fire on your skin. You almost sighed into his touch but remained stoic as you finally reached the bar. He removes his hand, and you find yourself missing the contact. He orders a refill of his drink along with another glass of wine for you. You were surprised when you took a sip of your wine, finding it to be the same as before. Funny, you don’t remember telling him the exact fae brand you were drinking. 

“How did you know what to order for me? I don’t remember telling you what I was drinking.” you look mischievously at him as you take a sip. 

“How you vex me! You think after all this time that I’ve known you that I can't tell that you’ve been drinking your favorite wine? Y/n I may not be the brightest flame in the world, but I sure as hell remember the smell of your favorite wine in your breath.” he says with a smirk, remembering all the heated kisses shared between you two. You try to hide the creeping blush from your cheeks, and you too remember those moments all too well. You put a hand to your mouth and breathe out. He was right, you can smell the wine you’ve been consuming.  

“I didn’t think the smell would be that strong!” as your nose scrunches up at your breath. 

He laughs at how silly you looked trying to smell your own breath. You could not help but laugh at this situation too. You had forgotten what it was like to be around Lucien. The warmth that radiated from him as he laughed had you weak at the knees. You can't help but think how lucky Elain was to have Lucien as her mate. You don’t understand what she doesn’t see in him, and that made you think about Az. He would never see you the way he sees Elain. Hell, he barely even looks at you. So how could you even compete against someone like her?Lucien could tell something was wrong as your face went from laughter to disappointment.  

“Hey, what’s wrong? What’s that pretty little head thinking about?” Lucien had asked concerned, tilting his head to get a better look at you. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but you couldn’t help but to ask. 

“Lucien, do- do you have a mate?”  

“Do I have a mate? Y/n are you okay? Why are you asking this?” 

“I- I don’t know. I’m sorry for even asking. I am overstepping my bounds. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” you take a big gulp of your wine. Lucien reaches out his hand and lowers your hand from your mouth. 

“Hey! Don’t ever apologize to me for asking a simple question! I was just shocked by how random it was. One minute were laughing and now were on the subjects of mates. It was a very big jump, so I'm sorry for my reaction earlier. Yes, I have a mate, but she- she does not want me...” 

“I am sorry Lu, she doesn’t know what she’s missing out on” you give him a faint smile. 

“It’s alright. All this time I thought it would be someone else, but the mother had different plans, I guess. What about you? Surely the lovely y/n has found her mate.”  

“I have, but it’s kind of complicated...” you look down at your glass as you start to twirl your wine. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how is it complicated?” he asks. 

“He doesn’t know about the bond yet...”  

“Y/n why doesn’t he know?” Lucien asks, and his eyes are so intense you have to look away. You catch yourself looking for Azriel among the crowd to see if he was looking your way and spy him in that same corner with Elain. Unlike the other times where they were talking, this time they were kissing. A gasp escapes your lips as your heart drops. Tears threaten to fall from your eyes as you nearly fall out of your seat. If it wasn’t for Lucien bracing you, you would have. He studies your face for a moment before following and focusing his gaze on where you had just been looking. His grip around you tightens as he watches his mate with Azriel. You can see the realization hit him as soon as he makes eye contact with you again. He now knows... “How about we get out of here, get us a sweet treat, grab a bottle of your favorite wine, and go back to my place to decompress?” He asks rubbing your back. 

“That sounds perfect.”  

You both get up from the bar and walk toward the door, Lucien’s hand is still on your back. You can feel a gentle caress of your mental shields and you know it’s Rhysand. You lower your shields to let him know that you were leaving, that you would be safe, and that you would be back tomorrow. He doesn’t pry and trusts your judgement. However, that doesn't stop him from turning to his cousin and bombarding her with questions about what the hell was going on.

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Tags:

@thelov3lybookworm @justdreamstars @character---obsessed @stained-glass-eyes0708 @acourtofbooksandshadows

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

Billie Eilish's latest comments about body-shaming haven't gone down well, especially after a 2019 interview resurfaced

Billie Eilish has received backlash for suggesting men don't get criticized for their appearances. Many commenters called her out for overlooking male body-shaming.

The 21-year-old singer was interviewed as part of Variety's "Power of Women" issue. Eilish reflected on the media attention and scrutiny she received after wearing a tank top in public aged 16, and went on to describe how she felt men were viewed in contrast.

"Nobody ever says a thing about men's bodies," Eilish told Variety. "If you're muscular, cool. If you're not, cool. If you're rail thin, cool. If you have a dad bod, cool. If you're pudgy, love it! Everybody's happy with it. You know why? Because girls are nice. They don't give a fuck because we see people for who they are!"

On November 13, entertainment news account Pop Base shared Eilish's remarks in a post to X, formerly Twitter, which received 36 million views and over 9,100 comments. While some people came out in support of the singer and seemed to agree with her stance, many hit back at her comments.

One user called Eilish's comments "a little tone deaf" as they felt both men and women could be judged, while others commented that women were more likely to receive criticism, but it was still false to suggest that men didn't receive any.

Some pointed to the physical traits they felt men were particularly judged on, including their height, body shape, and general appearance, although also expressed the view that scrutiny of female bodies is typically more intense and widespread.

Multiple X users referenced a community note they said had been added to Pop Base's post, although no such note is currently visible. Community notes are an X feature that allows users to add context to a post which will be shown publicly if enough contributors rate it as helpful.

Various users shared screenshots of what appears to be a community note on the post saying, "Billie Eilish has publicly criticized women dating 'ugly men' and has said that ugly men deserve nothing on recorded promotional interviews," followed by a YouTube link.

This is likely a reference to a 2019 interview with Eilish available on Pitchfork's YouTube channel.

"Why is every pretty girl with a horrible-looking man, I don't understand," she said during the interview.

"Listen, I'm not shaming people for their looks, but I am though. You give an ugly guy a chance, he thinks he rules the world," she said. "I swear to god, because they got a hot girl, they can be horrible? Like, you're still ugly though."

She went on to reference the size of men's genitals, suggesting it's something they would have to "make up for."

Many comments under the video posted over the four years it's been uploaded called Eilish out for negatively commenting on other people's looks, especially as she has been so public about those who criticized her appearance.

On X, many also mentioned the long history of objectification of Eilish, going back to her teenage years, suggesting her perception is understandable as a result.

Eilish has encouraged people to normalize "real bodies" in the past. She spoke out on this topic earlier this year and said it still hurt to see comments about her own body online, Insider previously reported.

Representatives for Billie Eilish did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.

First of all, it's blatantly untrue to think that men never receive criticism about their bodies. In a previous post of mine, I mentioned how some people reacted to seeing a picture of Jonathan Taylor Thomas for the first time in 2 years. Some people were of the opinion that he really let himself go.

There was an article about Keanu Reeves, I believe earlier this year. He was shown to be topless and people thought he was chubby.

I could go on.

If she truly thinks a man's body is just loved and accepted without a second thought, she is mistaken. Whether he's famous or he's not, somebody will have something to say. Maybe some people have never dealt with it, but that can't be said for men as a whole.

And then for her to say that girls won't care is wrong too. I'd bet anyone that's been body shamed by a girl would disagree.

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 21 of ? | masterpost

word count: 4066 | ao3 link | fic's playlist

I blinked, seriously caught off guard. That was too much to take in at once. First thing slamming me was anger—what did she mean by her and my dad being here to pamper me? Weren't they the ones who kicked me out? Cut off all ties? And now, they popped back into my life, not because they missed me or anything, but to wheel and deal for the family name and business—that was their concern. Concern that grandpa's "empire" wouldn't last with me at the wheel. Concern that I wouldn't know the ropes when the time came.

✦ summary: Nore's sense of normalcy unravels as her parents resurface, offering support for her dreams—with strings attached.

✦ on this chapter: dave mustaine x female!oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, complicated/kinda abusive family dynamics

✦ a/n: Hello! This part was a bit longer, and focused more on Nore's relationship with her family. I hope it helped understand her character a little bit better! I haven't included all the "lore" regarding her parents in the chapter directly but I recently made a post here explaining it a bit for anyone who's curious! I haven't been able to write a lot because I had some power/internet outage problems at home, but now that everything's back to normal I hope I can update more quickly! And we'll have some more James x Nore interactions on the next part :) Hope you liked reading, feedback is welcome!

✧ nobody's daughter, she never was, she never will / be beholden to anyone she cannot kill ✧

The next few weeks weren’t exactly easy.

Dave and I usually kept our relationship light; we rarely argued, and if we did, we patched things up quick. We got each other too well and just couldn't stand being apart for too long. We were young. We were in love. At that time, no issue seemed big enough to mess with that.

But this time, it was different . It's not like Dave was giving me the cold shoulder, but I could tell he was still feeling the sting from everything that had happened with the album and his songs. He started isolating himself more and more, hanging out at David's place for long stretches, diving into his new band. When I tried talking to him about what was going on, he'd just smile and steer the conversation elsewhere. It was like all that easy, spontaneous intimacy we had from the beginning was vanishing, slipping through my fingers like water. 

And it freaked me out.

Being away from my cousin and my friends didn't make things any easier. I knew they had my back, but it's not like I could spill my guts to them over the phone about Dave. Since I'd left home, I'd felt sad and angry a bunch of times, but by September, I was more down than I had been since I first moved in with Cliff. Still, I held onto the hope that things would get back to normal soon.

Little did I know what the end of the year had in store for me.

It kicked off with a surprise phone call one evening. It was nighttime, and Dave and I were catching a break, chilling and watching some random movie on TV while sharing a cigarette and a beer when the phone decided to ring.

"I'll grab it," I said, jumping up from the bed. Dave gave a nod, his brow furrowing as he focused on rolling another joint for us to share. I rushed to the living room, picking up the phone. "Hello."

"Ellie?" a voice I knew too well replied, making my heart race and my jaw drop in surprise. "Is it really you?"

"Dad?" I blurted out in shock. In the whirlwind of my new life, getting a call from my father after nine months of radio silence was probably the last thing I expected.

"Hey, Ellie! So, this number is really yours. How've you been?"

"I... I'm okay, but... Dad, what's going on?" The words tumbled out, confusion turning into genuine concern. If he was calling out of the blue, something serious must have been up, right? I couldn't think of any other reason.

"Can't a dad check in on his daughter?" He said it casually, like it was no big deal. I furrowed my brow, annoyance quickly replacing my concern.

"You haven't said a word to me in months," I shot back, my voice shaking a bit, my eyes threatening to fill with tears as a whirlwind of emotions churned in my chest — first of all, anger. But then hurt. Confusion. And pain.

I glanced up at the sound of footsteps, spotting Dave leaning against the bedroom door frame with a lit joint in his hand. He gave me a questioning look, his concerned brown eyes checking out my state. I sighed, motioning for him to hold on. He came over, wrapping an arm around my waist and planting a gentle kiss on my shoulder, which managed to coax a small smile from me.

"So, Ellie, your mom and I..." my father hesitated on the phone, sounding a bit unsure of himself. "We were thinking that maybe we've been too hard on you. We just got back from London..."

"You went to visit grandma?" I snapped, my anger surfacing in the way my voice cranked up. "That's what this call is about, huh? I'm guessing she wasn't thrilled to discover you kicked me out. Bet she and grandpa gave you a reality check!"

"We went to celebrate your mom's birthday. And yes, we saw your grandparents," my father went on, his tone getting a bit sterner. "We were just thinking... It would be nice if you and your boyfriend could join us for dinner sometime. You know, your mom misses you..."

"Oh, bullshit."

"She does. Eleanore, it was her idea to send you that motorcycle as a gift. She thought it might lift your spirits a bit. Maybe you'd swing by..."

"She's always pulling that stunt!" I grumbled, annoyed, cheeks warming with irritation. "I can't be expected to read her mind. And for the record, I didn't ask for whatever gift she sent my way!"

"I get it. Ellie, I get it," my father reassured, clearly trying to ease my frustration. "Look, I think she regrets laying it on you like that. Especially after talking to your grandma... She just wants to fix things."

"Then why didn't she just call me herself?"

"You know how your mom is. She thought maybe you'd be more open to hearing me out. And, hey, it's not like I don't miss you too," he said, explaining. I took a deep breath, still annoyed but conceding that my father had a point. I could have a conversation with him, but if it were my mom on the line, I might've just hung up. "Ellie, she's trying, alright? It's more effort than she usually puts in. Give her a chance..."

"She didn't give me any chances. Why should I be the one handing them out?" I questioned, my voice now getting choked up as my anger gave way to the underlying hurt I was feeling. My father sighed, seeming uncertain about what to say.

"You can come next weekend if you want," he finally replied, straight-up ignoring my question and making me groan in frustration. "I'll ask Marcy to whip up that pumpkin pie you like, what do you think? Mull it over, alright?"

Then, he hung up, leaving me with a heavy heart and an anguish that had been haunting me for months but that I just didn't want to face. I slammed the phone back on the hook, maybe a tad harder than I should have.

"Hey. What was that?" Dave asked, leaning his chin on my shoulder and pulling me closer, his arms around my waist. I sighed. "Was it your dad on the phone?"

"Yeah," I murmured, my voice trembling a bit. He nuzzled into my neck, planting a soft kiss on my smooth skin, his lips moving up to my cheek for another kiss.

"Babe, you know you can talk to me if you need to," he whispered. I sighed, pulling away a little to meet his gaze, a mix of concern and seriousness in his eyes. I managed a faint smile, the hurt in my chest blending with the happiness of having, even if just for a moment, the old intimacy between us. "What happened? What did he say to you?"

"I just... I hate this!" I finally let it out, a tear rolling down the corner of my eye and making its way to my cheek. Dave cupped my face in his hands, wiping it away with the tip of his thumb. "My family’s always doing this. They act like the stuff they do to me, the way they treat me, doesn't matter. Like it doesn't hurt me! It's messed up."

Dave sighed, pulling me closer in a comforting hug. I knew he didn't have all the words, but I could feel him trying to ease my pain. I sniffled, a few more tears streaming down my cheek as I buried my face in his chest.

"My dad invited us for dinner... Both of us, him and my mom," I laughed bitterly. "It's funny, isn't it? They kick me out of the house, and then they think they can invite me to dinner, like everything's normal. Like nothing happened."

"And do you want to go?" he asked, softly, his hand soothingly stroking my back. I shook my head with a sigh.

"I... I don't know. I think that's the worst part," I admitted, pulling away and meeting his gaze. "I'm so angry, but I still miss them. I think that's what hurts the most."

"That you can't help but love them, even though some of the things they do hurt you?" he murmured, and I felt my heart tighten at the bitterness in his voice. "Maybe you should go, Nore. Maybe it's a good chance for you to patch things up with them."

"I don't know if I want to do that," I whispered, and he gave a slight smile.

"Yeah, I get it. Come here," he pulled me close again, his lips meeting mine with an unexpected hunger that sent warmth through my body. I clung onto his arms tightly, my nails leaving small crescent marks on his fair skin, while his lips moved down to my neck, kissing a spot that Dave knew would make me sigh and shiver, forgetting, even if just for a moment, anything but his body against mine. He pulled away, his familiar crooked smile on his lips making my heart race as he lifted my chin with his hand. "You can think about it later... How about coming back to bed with me?"

The car screeched to a stop in front of the big light-yellow house. I sighed, feeling more jittery than I'd like, despite the chill evening and the sun setting, casting warm hues all over the landscape. I knew my decision to visit my parents in Long Beach with Dave's car was a bit of a rebellious move against their expectations, and I hated it. They probably anticipated me rolling up on the motorcycle they gifted me. Instead, there I was, with my boyfriend and his car — two things that could potentially give my mom a nervous breakdown.

Dave raised his eyebrows, whistling softly as he checked out my parents' garden.

"You fancy-ass kid. So, this is where you used to live?" He chuckled and playfully nudged my arm, but I could tell he was a bit surprised. He seemed to catch quickly onto my nervousness; his eyes instantly turned serious when he saw my expression. "Hey," he said, his hand gently holding mine. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. Okay?"

I nodded. Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure why I agreed to visit my parents or let Dave come along and meet them. Maybe, despite all the drama and hurt, there was still a part of me that missed them. Perhaps deep down, I hoped they'd be proud of me — for standing on my own all this time, for finding someone who cared about me and loved me. For not turning out to be the failure they expected when they kicked me out, assuming I'd come running back at the first sign of trouble.

But deep down, I knew that wasn't happening.

"It's okay," I squeezed Dave's hand, attempting a confident smile. "We're already here, right? Let's do this."

Dave and I stepped out of the car, strolling across the well-kept garden until we reached the front door.I paused for a moment before ringing the doorbell. Then, the door swung open, and my dad appeared, beaming when he saw me, the blue eyes I got from him shining.

"Ellie!" he exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. I blinked, a bit confused, but returned the embrace. He pulled back with a smile, seeming only then to notice that Dave was by my side. "Oh. You must be David?"

"You can call me Dave, sir," Dave smiled, shaking my dad's hand, but I could see he was a bit nervous.

"Pleasure to meet you, Dave. I’m George." my dad smiled, a bit more serious than before. "You've arrived just in time! Marcy is almost done preparing dinner. Let's go inside."

Dad walked in first, and I followed suit. Dave strolled by my side, holding my hand gently. He leaned in, whispering in my ear:

"Ellie? So, is that what your parents call you?"

"Just my dad. And I hate that nickname," I murmured, and he laughed.

As we strolled into the house, Dave scoped the place with raised eyebrows. The living room was cozy and rustic, sofas, armchairs, and rugs thrown together just right. In the corner, a shelf showed off my dad's vinyl collection. From there, you could head to the dining room through the side door or hit the garden through the glass door at the back. Upstairs, you'd find my parents' bedrooms, my old room, and the library where my parents spent most of their time when they were home.

"Ellie, why don't you give Dave a tour of the library? I'll summon your mom for dinner; she was introducing the new gardener to the plants," he said, jokingly. 

"Oh... Sure," I mumbled. After being away for so long, everything felt way larger and unfamiliar than it should — especially after bouncing around from the little room I shared with Cliff to Leanne's house and then my cozy spot with Dave. I watched my dad head out the back door. Dave linked his fingers with mine, sensing my nerves, and stroked the palm of my hand in soothing circular motions with his thumb. I raised my gaze and met his brown eyes, locked onto my face. "So, wanna check out the library?"

"Actually, I had my eye on something else," he grinned slightly, and I blinked, intrigued. "Your room," he clarified, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "I want to see how you lived, you know? Before I showed up and changed your life forever."

I chuckled, rolling my eyes before tugging him along by his hand, leading the way to the stairs. We climbed up to the first floor, strolling through the lengthy corridor, passing several doors before hitting the last one right at the end. I twisted the knob, relieved to find that the door wasn't locked.

I sighed as I swung the door open, taking in the sight of my old room. The room was spotlessly clean and organized, meaning that my parents at least kept the place tidy. Next to the window, my bed was neatly made with the same sheets I'd left in a mess before heading to San Francisco. Above the headboard, posters of bands and movies adorned the wall. The door in the corner was open, showing my private bathroom.

Below the window, my study desk, with drawing and painting materials meticulously arranged. In the corner, a shelf with my books, records, and tapes, plus a TV and stereo. It stung a bit to look at it, to reminisce about all the time spent there; everything was the same, but I didn't feel anything like the girl who once called it home.

Dave seemed to understand the contemplation in my silence; he rested his chin on my shoulder, giving me a tight hug from behind before planting a kiss on my cheek.

"Nice room you got here," he remarked, and I laughed, a bit shakily, realizing tears were welling up in my eyes. Despite that, it felt good not to be alone. To have him there with me.

We quickly stepped apart when we heard a knock on the door. I turned around and found Alice, my mom's assistant, eyeing us with her serious gaze, her curly blonde hair pulled into a ponytail so tight it made me uncomfortable just to look at it. Of course, she would be here, I thought with a twinge of annoyance. She smiled, a cold and almost robotic smile.

"Welcome back, miss. Your mother is waiting for you in the dining room," she said, then turned and left, seemingly not even acknowledging Dave's presence.

I sighed, annoyed, feeling the anxiety in my chest rise in a wave of panic that subsided as soon as I felt Dave's fingers intertwining with mine again. He smiled at me reassuringly.

"Let's go," he murmured. "I guess it's time for me to meet your mom."

I stepped into the dining room hesitantly. It was funny how being near my mom always kind of intimidated me; she was everything I'd never been able to be, everything they expected me to be. I bit my lip as I spotted her, and she turned in our direction. 

My mother was probably the most beautiful woman I'd ever known, tall and statuesque like a model, with long, wavy black hair that reached her waist, a slim and charming face, and serious dark brown eyes. I was nothing like her — much more like my dad, shorter with brown hair, blue eyes, and a much less glamorous body.

"Eleanore," she murmured, with that familiar distinct accent blending Scottish and French. She walked toward me, holding my face in her hands, a faint hint of affection gleaming in her eyes before being replaced by disapproval. "Oh, God, what happened to your hair? Did you cut it yourself?"

"Leave the girl alone, Clémence," my dad spoke, sitting in one of the armchairs in the corner of the room, casually reading the day’s newspaper. He looked up, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "She's old enough to know how to take care of herself."

My mom pursed her lips slightly, then let go of my face. She shifted her attention to Dave.

"You must be David," she spoke resolutely. I could see the disapproval in her eyes shifting from me to him, like he was a pet she didn't really like but had to put up with. If Dave caught onto that, he hid it well. For the first time since we had met, he was completely serious, which probably meant he was a bit on edge. "Well, come along. Dinner is ready. We were waiting for you."

We sat down for dinner, and my nerves were all over the place. I could hardly taste the food, and it seemed like Dave was in the same boat. I reached under the table, giving his knee a reassuring caress. He shot me a smile.

"So, Dave... You're one of Cliff's friends, huh?" my dad asked.

I noticed Dave's jaw tense a bit, but he managed a polite smile.

"Yep, we used to share a place. That's how I got to know Nore."

"And what do you do? Are you a musician too? You know, I have a pretty large vinyl collection here at home. Love music. Always wished I had the time to pick up the drums," my dad kept the conversation rolling with a grin, and I could see some of the tension in Dave fading away.

They chatted about music for the rest of the dinner, and slowly, I started to ease up. Mom stayed pretty quiet, her eyes bouncing between me and Dave like she was trying to figure us out. But Dad seemed genuinely interested in getting to know my boyfriend better. By the time dessert was served, I almost felt like we were a normal family again.

When we finished eating, we cruised back to the living room. Dad and Dave went straight to the vinyl collection, and Dad put on a Led Zeppelin album, the music filling the living room softly. That's when Mom got up, giving my arm a light touch.

"Come with me, Eleanore," she said in a low voice before heading to the garden. I hesitated, glancing at my dad and Dave, still deep in their conversation, then decided to trail after her.

We wandered through the backyard garden, the flower beds and trees soaking up the gentle glow from the property's lamps. Mom sparked a cigarette with a sigh, and we drifted in silence until we hit the pool area. She eased into one of the lounge chairs under the covered spot before looking at me.

"Take a seat," she motioned to the chair right across from hers.

"I'll pass," I muttered, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you always have to complicate things?" she asked, and a surge of anger bubbled in my chest. Classic mom move: the woman who couldn't go an hour without emphasizing how I was a screw-up.

"Does Dad know you picked up smoking again?" I asked, a bit acidly. She looked up at me, a small, cold smile playing on her face. I knew my mom; she could front like she was flawless, but she had her flaws, just like I did. At least I owned up to mine.

"I smoke when I need to focus.You know how insane the end of the year gets at your grandfather's company," she shot back, sidestepping my question. "Or you would know if you cared about the family business instead of living in your love fantasy."

"My relationship is not a fantasy," I frowned, and she scoffed.

"If you say so," she flicked the cigarette butt to the ground, crushing it with the tip of her heel. "So, you know your dad and I just got back from Europe. I talked with your grandfather, and we came up with an idea... Oh, please, Eleanore, spare me that face. You haven't even heard what I have to say!" I tried to hide the displeasure that surfaced on my face. Nothing good ever followed when my mom claimed to have an idea. Never. "Well, as I was saying. Your dad and I think it's time for you to invest a little more in your future."

"Not this again," I grumbled. "Mom, I don't want to go to Law School!"

"I'm not asking you to!" she retorted, her tone sharp and irritated. Then she sighed, as if making an effort to calm down. "Look, we know you love art. You were part of the Theater Club in school, and you enjoyed your drawing classes so much! But I don't want my daughter to just finish high school and call it a day. It wouldn't be suitable ."

"And what's your deal, then?" I asked, getting a bit defensive. Until now, Mom didn't seem to be pushing me into anything specific, but I knew she never dangled anything remotely cool in front of me without expecting something in return.

"Your father and I are willing to pay for any course you want, at any university you want. What do you say?" she asked, a slight grin playing on her lips, but her eyes stayed icy. "You can study wherever you want! You can be close to your cousin, your new friends, your... boyfriend. Pursue the arts career you want. But," she raised an eyebrow. "you have to be aware of your role in the family business. So, you'll get involved in the day-to-day routine, learn the ropes, and be ready to handle everything when your father and I aren't around to pamper you. Fair deal, right?"

I blinked, seriously caught off guard. That was too much to take in at once. First thing slamming me was anger—what did she mean by her and my dad being here to pamper me? Weren't they the ones who kicked me out? Cut off all ties? And now, they popped back into my life, not because they missed me or anything, but to wheel and deal for the family name and business—that was their concern. Concern that grandpa's "empire" wouldn't last with me at the wheel. Concern that I wouldn't know the ropes when the time came.

On the flip side, it was kind of a tempting offer. I mean, having my parents backing my dreams would be awesome, even with a few strings attached. I used to dream about more than just ringing up customers in record stores; I missed the days when I had time to create , to be part of something. But, if I went for it, what would it mean for me and Dave? Would we drift even further apart?

I didn't want to dive into that mess. Too many details, too many what-ifs.

"You don't have to figure it all out now," Mom said, her tone soft, like she was reading my mind. "Whenever you want, Eleanore, you can come back home. We'll work things out then, okay? Just take your time."

With that, she got up and casually walked back inside, leaving me to grapple with my thoughts.

[ezamevolni]

Treatment

It's almost a full day after Jk went live in the middle of the night, then went to do a double instagram live with Tae, and returned to Weverse again to do karaoke.

I'm active on both Twitter and Weibo and I saw quite a lot of crazed reactions ranging from 'deliriously happy Jk is alive' to 'fight the tyrant who locked him away'. At first most comments were happy tears over Jk resurfacing again, lots of shippers being excited they were fed, people going gaga over all the controversial (?) moments in his lives... then it slowly started turning into discourse, as usual, about the mistreatment of bts members.

I'm sorry but so far the replays haven't been subbed, we only have some partial subs from the few translators around, and a lot of what Jk said has been paraphrased and distorted into alarmingly untrue things. I don't know, so far it's only been a day. Maybe settle down with the panicking and worry, wait for context and verification, then it's never too late to organize hate campaign against Hybe.

And I feel a bit blindsided by all the anger and whatnot directed at Hybe because of Jk's live because...he's not being mistreated? He mentioned a few things that caused the alarm: he stayed inside for 6 days, he had been disconnected to the outside world, he hasn't been working on his album lately, was feeling physically unwell, slept in Bam's house...

It does seem like Jk is not in a good place right now, but it doesn't quite look like a predicament caused directly by Hybe and their iron hand on BTS. I would like to think that Jk doesn't have Hybe guards outside his door barring him from exiting, nor did they take away all internet or modes of communication in his house. Else how did he come onto Weverse live, saying he hadn't gotten permission but turned on a live anyway?

And Jk mentioned he had been home for 6 days then. 6 days before he finally turned on a live and interacted with fans. I don't know. Maybe he's just not in an emotionally great place during this time and turned on a live to reassure fans, and maybe to make himself feel better too?

I know most if not all, armys are Not Jinkookers. So I didn't really see many people making the connection between Jk's vulnerable state, drinking, flirting, and Jin's absence. That's fine, I'm also not making the statement. All I can say is I saw him being vulnerable in the middle of the night, and I hope the members, his family or people close to him can help him out of the slump.

Leaping to the conclusion that Hybe has put Jk on house arrest is seriously some kind of mental. Also, all the members are on their own schedules which naturally, I would assume has give for them to live their lives, play, work on their music, do whatever they want. They've lived in front of the cameras for nine years without stopping, and very clearly have expressed their desire for a new rhythm during Festa 2022. I really don't understand how everyone is equating 'members not being seen in public' to 'forced to not work'. Could it be by choice? By their own schedules? Yeah?

Armys are making 'introvert line' jokes all day long and when any of them don't post on sns (which they already don't even when super active back in the day), suddenly go code red they're being shelved on purpose. I can't with this fandom sometimes. Dramatizing and making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I wish more fans would just let them be. Stop yelling at the agency for assumption made up in their heads and in the midst, causing issues that may not be there in the first place.

And I think a lot of armys still don't know the difference between Bighit and Hybe. They're not the same thing. Hybe is the parent company funding a collective group of artistic agencies, while Bighit is one of the agencies under Hybe. Hybe could influence BTS through funding and resources given to Bighit, but I highly doubt BTS are being shortchanged with money. A lot of fans seem to think Hybe wants BTS gone, or that BTS has a strong desire to leave......each to their own. I don't think that's true. Are they diverting attention and using BTS as clout for their other groups? Yes, that's true and I don't like that. But that's not been done under the pretext of draining BTS, it just appears to be so as BTS are less active than before while other groups are on their debut rollout. In fact, I would say that the media play being bought by that new group is a strategic move by their agency, with no influence or knowledge from Bighit. The agencies under Hybe are all quite autonomous and even rarely collaborate. So.

BTW Jk's brother posted him with Bam in the morning, and Jk mentioned Bam having an appointment at the vet. So people are assuming Jk fell asleep at dawn and Jk's bro had to take care of Bam instead.

I say this endearingly, Jk is still such a kid.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Three

Table of Content or Part Forty-Two

Read here on wattpad

Words: 3.6k

Warning(s): Explicit language, Drug abuse, Verbal abuse, Sexual situations

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My head is aching from the pressure put on it after crying for hours on end, balls of tissue shrouding the bed around me.

My mind floods with how I'm going to propose attempting to do one of the two things Nikki despises most, not wanting to ask him about it from the jump, but wanting to fix whatever it is that's lacking in our marriage that has me feeling something for someone who I'm not married to.

I know what's lacking, but I'd rather he  hear it from a professional so he can't accuse me of just throwing out bullshit.

Nikki's been home for a few hours now, but he's been avoiding me.

I wonder if he's mad at me for leaving during the tour, or if he hasn't even thought about me and came home, shot up and passed out.

I'm sick with myself, the approach of Nikki's homecoming causing an onslaught of self-chastisement that occurs in the form of random tidbits of Duff and I in my dream, and the possibility that I'm subconsciously getting ready to give up on my marriage, which is the last thing I want to do.

I hear the front door open and shut, along with the sound of Nikki's footsteps growing closer and closer to our bedroom, the rustling of paper bags accompanying him.

I haven't even realized he left the house.

Nerves ball up in my stomach, my hands get sweaty and my breathing starts getting deep.

"Keep your head clear" I hear Andy's voice in my mind and I calm myself down.

The door opens, and the smell of food wafts in the air.

Nikki's carrying fastfood bags, seemingly decently sober.

I sit up, sniffling, and he hands me my drink and a straw before pulling a cheeseburger out of the paper bag, handing it over to me as well as my fries.

"Do you feel any better?" He asks me, calmly, and I furrow my brows a little. "I knew something was up when you weren't waiting by the door. I came in and you were passed out." He explains, his hand pressing to my forehead. "You don't feel like you're running fever."

"I'm not. I just feel like shit." I mumble, taking a sip of my Pepsi.

"I got this while I was out." He adds, opening another paper bag from our pharmacy and I rub my lips together. "The bottle was on the bathroom counter and saw you haven't gotten a refill yet, so..." He shrugs, handing me a pill of my Nardil.

"Thanks." I say, swallowing it down.

He gets his food and knocks my balled up tissues out of the way as he gets into bed next to me.

"What all did you do?" He asks and I look at him, tensing up.

"What?"

"While you've been here? And I've been gone? What all have you done?" He repeats.

"Oh, just went out a few times with the guys. I stayed at home, mostly." I reply.

"I can tell. This place is spotless." He chuckles, eating a few fries.

"Sharise and Skylar stayed with me at night so I wouldn't be by myself." I add and he shakes his head a little.

"We gotta get you outta that, babe." He states and I raise my brows a little in confusion. "Your 'I can't be alone' mentality."

"What about it?"

"It's not really healthy to be that way, don't you think?"

"I think it's normal. Humans weren't made to be by themselves."

"Viv, not being able to be alone is one thing. Not being able to sleep alone is another." He scoffs.

"Vince doesn't ever sleep alone." I point out.

"That's because Vince fucks and then falls asleep with chicks who aren't his wife." Nikki points out.

"Well, I've fallen asleep with dudes who aren't you." I add.

"Robbin, Steven and Vince don't really count." He tells me. "Well, Vince counts a little, but that's because he's a fucking dick."

"Okay, so, who all counts?" I ask him, trying to keep the light tone in my voice.

His answer is blatantly but casually said as if it's common sense, and further causes me to curl into my shell, even more petrified to suggest what I've been planning to suggest to him:

"Anyone you can see yourself fucking." He says.

My body tenses and my appetite is at a loss.

I don't say much of anything else, listening to him go from the topic of the new album, to Tommy's upcoming wedding, and finally, his fuck up.

"Look, Viv," He starts, throwing the wrapper of his finished burger, aside, and I start putting the trash in the empty bags the food came in before setting them on the night stand on my side of the bed before laying back down, facing him. "I know what I did was--"

"--You made a mistake." I cut him short. "And you're still here, so...it's okay."

"No, it's not okay." He argues and I rub my lips together.

"I don't know what else to say about it, Nikki." I reply and he sighs, getting a little frustrated.

"I want you to care, Vivian." He shoots back and I roll on my back, staring up at my reflection on the ceiling, rubbing my forehead to calm the subtle aching beginning to resurface.

"I do care, Nikki, I just don't understand what you want me to do about it. You're the only one who can fix it and you freak out anytime someone mentions you getting help."

"Jesus fuck." He grumbles, kicking his cowboy boot-clad foot into the mattress a little and I sigh out, agitated, as he's about to get up and probably leave.

"Can you just not run off at the slightest argument we have, for once, Nikki?" I beg, my voice cracking as my throat grows thick with tears. "I've had a horrible past couple weeks and I just need you to hold me because you're my husband and that's..." I can't finish, a wave of obnoxious sobs coming out of nowhere.

"Vivian, what is wrong? Huh?" He asks me, genuinely, scooting closer to me and wrapping his arms around me as I lay against his chest.

It's obvious this goes beyond "I don't feel good."

People don't cry uncontrollably when they have a cold.

"I'm just going through something right now." I reply in between uneven breaths.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

I wish I could tell him everything. Every miscarriage, every repressed fear of our future...having mental sex with Duff.

I know the Duff situation shouldn't be a big deal to me, but it is. A very big deal. A very red flag. A very tiny issue that cam and will manifest if not dealt with accordingly.

Dread of the conversation of seeing a marriage counselor with Nikki sneaks into me, adding to my plate of shit I have yet to disclose to him.

"I don't know." I lie to him. "I guess I just really miss you."

"I'm right here, Viv." He chuckles a little.

I want to say, "the old Nikki", but decide against an entirely different argument, before relaxing a little as he runs his fingertips in random patterns at the bottom of my back, and falling asleep.

The thing that pissed Nikki off about my crying spells, which occurred more often the worse his use got, was that he felt emasculated by it.

He couldn't make me feel better because he couldn't get off drugs, and I couldn't even tell him about the weight on my heart from my misfortune with pregnancy and my growing confusion about my feelings for another man.

He knew he was failing me by having an affair, staying on drugs, disregarding our vows, causing me pain, which made him do more drugs to numb the pain of that knowledge, which made him act out even more.

And all I could do was scream at him, cry, flush his stash, vandalize our house, vandalize his cars and bikes, and screw the support's bassist.

But before we resulted to that...

I let out one more muffled moan as he grabs at a fist full of my hair, delivering one more thrust into me before he's finishing on my bare ass and tucking himself back in his pants.

"Nikki, I thought you said we would talk when you got back home." I lowly remind him as I clean myself off, hearing our friends in our living room.

He takes a drink of his Jack on the  bathroom counter and shrugs.

"We can talk later, babe." He tells me, for the hundredth time since he's been back home two weeks, now, and I rub my lips together.

"Well, Nikki, we kinda need to talk about as soon as we can." I pull my pants and shirt back on.

"And we will. Just chill out."

"Okay, well, we should've talked about it over a week ago if that were the case. And I've been chilling out but I'm starting to get the idea that you don't care."

"If I didn't care what you had to say, I'd tape your pretty little mouth shut, Viv." He drunkenly spurs at me, pulling me closer to him, and I raise a brow. "Don't look at me like that, babe, I--Okay, look. Your buddies are here." He laughs me off, motioning to door, reminding me  Slash, Izzy, Duff, Steven, and even Axl are over here--although I'm sure Axl's only here for the 5'3" platinum blonde playmate that I can hear going back and forth with Steven about how to properly play cards. "Tommy and Vince are coming over, Vince is bringing Sharise and you, her, and Tansy are like the trifecta or something so you can have girl time and catch up. It's gonna be a good time. We'll talk after, alright?" He assures me and I let out a breath.

"Alright." I mumble.

He smirks, giving me a sloppy kiss before I'm heading out to see everybody.

I roll my eyes and head to the kitchen, preparing myself to face Duff, who I haven't seen in three weeks.

We hung out once after I stayed at their place, and that's been it.

I step into the kitchen to see someone in our fridge, grabbing a beer, and when the door shuts I'm face to face with all six feet and four inches of McKagan.

"There you are." He chuckles out, opening the bottle with an opener on his keys and I try to catch my breath and not show signs of panic. "Thought you'd, like, died or something." He adds.

"Oh, no, I just didn't feel good." I explain.

"Yeah, Nikki told me." He replies, taking a sip of his beer. "Do you feel better now?" He asks me and I nod, although it's certain I'm not 'okay' necessarily. "You sure?"

"Yeah." I lie, smiling a little.

It was bullshit, he knew it was bullshit.

"Alright." He doesn't ask again, instead stepping to the kitchen door, purposely shoving at me with his shoulder, nearly knocking me down.

I fire back, shoving at him with mine, and we continue until we're laughing, racing to the living room.

There's an exposed seat beside Tansy and we both eye it before rambunctiously trying to see who gets there first.

We get there simultaneously, sitting down, scrunched into each other as we fight for our footing, more so assing, as we both make an effort to worm the other person off of the couch cushion.

"Move giraffe neck!" I demand in a laugh, struggling to get him out of the way.

"Not a chance, mother mary!" He replies in the same tone, managing to keep his beer from spilling.

He wins, eventually, getting me out of the way.

I'm about to give him a light hearted earful when he's pulling me into his lap.

I make sure to keep my ass on his knees, nowhere near his crotch, and he's not thinking anything of it, obviously, until Axl hears Nikki coming out of our bedroom, and I'm too busy laughing to notice.

Axl's black boot is kicking out and shoving me to the floor before Nikki can see me on Duff, and Duff and I look at the red head, about to go off on him, until we realize what he did.

Nikki's obviously just shot up, wiping the dribble of vomit from his chin with the back of his hand as his eyes play their tricks.

I'm assuming it was a speedball.

I know damn well we aren't having that talk tonight...or ever, possibly.

Never will be a good time.

The doorbell rings, and I'm eager to jump up and see who it is, to avoid going off on Nikki, crossing my fingers that it's hopefully Vince, Sharise, and Tommy.

I open the door, my eyes immediately going to Skylar's round, chubby little face as she wears a baby pink, velvet headband with a giant matching velvet flower attached to it, and a long sleeved, white onesie with baby pink socks on her little feet.

"Hey, guys." I say, stepping aside to let them in.

"'Sup, Viv." Tommy grins out widely, patting my head. His energetic mood is a deep contrast of Vince's.

"Hey." Sharise gives me a side hug and I let Skylar wrap her hand around my finger, looking at me with wide eyes and eye brows that clearly show the expression that she knows me but also doesn't know me.

"Hey, Viv." Vince flatly greets me, giving me a peck on the cheek, irritated, and I can see Sharise is in the same mood.

Great. Another couple that's wanting to kill each other. Nikki and I are in good company.

"Hey, Vince." I reply as he follows Tommy.

Skylar is kicking her feet, smiling and waving her hands, now, and Sharise hands her over to me.

"Hey, pretty girl." I greet her as me and her mom go to the living room with everyone...just in time to see Steven ripping a bong. "Baby!" I call, and all their attention shifts to the kid in my arms and they all groan a little.

Rule of "Baby": no drinking from bottles, smoking cigarettes, doing drugs, being gross with groupies, dropping f-bombs, or being a jackass when a child is around...even if the child isn't even one year yet.

It came after Skylar let out a loud and proud "Fuh!" a month prior, and at first we thought it was a random noise she was making while babbling, until she repeated the word over time until it was  pretty obvious she was practicing her pronunciation of the word "fuck," which she had heard from every person in that room.

After that, anytime someone called "baby" the cigarettes were put out, the drugs were put up, the groupies were put on behavioral probation, the alcohol was put into solo cups and the bottles were hidden, and everyone's favorite word was forbidden.

Of course they could go to another room and do anything they wanted, just not with a child in sight.

And they could complain all they wanted, but I think they liked the thought of kids being the only people able to make them clean up their act, even temporarily.

Steven puts his bong away, Duff gathers the liquor bottles and heads to the kitchen to pour it into solo cups, Slash puts out his cigarette and Nikki...

"It's fucking stupid. She's not gonna remember anything of it." Nikki snaps out a couple minutes later as Duff attempts to hand him a cup of Jack, but he refuses, motioning to Skylar once Sharise, Tansy, Steven and I are in the floor with her, and I roll my eyes.

"Babe, it's just for a few minutes. She's gonna go to sleep eventually." I tell him calmly.

"Yeah, Nikki, she usually goes to bed about an hour from now." Sharise adds.

"Sharise, it's his house." Vince takes up for Nikki. "He doesn't come over to our house and dictate what we do and don't do." 

"They can still do it, just not around our daughter." Sharise tells him.

"Exactly. There's plenty of other rooms in the house and an entire back yard." I add.

"Why bring your baby to a fucking get together like this, anyway?" Nikki asks her rudely. "You guys don't have a nanny or something?"

"Nikki." I scold him, giving him a "shut up" look.

He ignores me.

"I-I don't want a nanny raising my daughter, Nikki." Sharise states, trying to keep her cool.

"Well, then why didn't you just stay home?" He continues to come after her.

"Dude." Izzy mumbles behind us, obviously getting fed up, and I pray he doesn't say anything to Nikki or Vince to fuel the fire.

Izzy wasn't into ego, and Nikki and Vince had plenty of it...well, Vince and Sikki.

"Because I wanted to see her." I reply before Sharise can. "And the baby."

"Of course you did because stick-in-the mud Sober Sixx really knows how to keep the party going: a fucking baby." Nikki scoffs, cutting his eyes at me.

"I'd rather be known as a stick-in-the-mud than known for sticking myself at 45° angles." I snap harshly.

Everyone winces a little, and Nikki grinds his teeth together.

"What the hell is your fucking problem?!" Nikki barks at me.

"Oh, I am so glad you asked, I've only been trying to talk to you about for the past two and a half weeks!" I snap.

"Well it's not my problem I've got more important things to do than listen to you whine about our fucking relationship! You've only been doing for nearly two years now, but then you never really tell me what the fuck is wrong, so I'm kinda fucking numb to it by now!"

"I wouldn't expect you not to be numb to it, Nikki! I would be, too, if my nerves were as shot as every last cc of junk I blew my freaking money on!"

"Maybe we should go outside for a little bit--"

"--Sit down!" Nikki and I both yell at Steven before he can stand up, causing everyone else to awkwardly settle back into their seats, because they were getting ready to follow him out.

"Okay." He calmly mumbles, reaching for his cup of booze before he starts chugging.

In fact, I'm noticing them all taking more and more long sips of their drinks.

They're probably going to have grey hairs from stress after leaving tonight.

"See, look, you're turning my friends into alcoholics with your bullshit!" I accuse Nikki and he let's out a loud "HA!"

"Okay, so they're just your friends, now?!" He let's out.

By this point Skylar starts getting fussy with our screaming and Sharise attempts to calm her down.

I'm about to ask her to politely go take Skylar outside or to a different part of the house, even though by the looks of it, she's getting ready to do so anyway.

"Can you shut your God damn baby up, Sharise?!" Nikki's going after her again.

Now it seems either Izzy, Axl or Duff is about to say something, until I intervene to save them a fist fight with someone who can help their careers...not that they would even want his help anymore.

"Can you shut your God damn mouth up, Nikki?!" I stand up, ready to punch him, again, and he stands, too.

"Alright, guys--" Tommy starts but is quickly shut up with a glare from Nikki.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Viv, this is why I'm on smack! So I can get a fucking escape from being trapped in a house with you!"

"For someone who's so miserable being married to me, you sure as hell were adamant about doing so!"

"Until I realized I married a fucking psychopath!" He throws at me, pointing his finger my way.

"And I married a junkie!" I shoot back. "And all you're ever gonna be is a freaking junkie and all you're ever gonna do is junk and party and convince yourself you don't need help when you clearly do! You don't give a fuck about me or our marriage and thank fucking God we don't have kids because you'd probably sell one of them for more smack when we run out of money after your career goes down in flames when you stop giving a single fuck about music, which will probably happen in the next year since you're already writing shitty songs!" I can't stop what's coming out of my mouth, seeing him being hurt by it, disguising it as angry tears when I know I struck a chord of an entirely new emotion in him.

He was already beginning to get discouraged with his new music he was working up for the band's next album, but what I said just validated his lack of confidence.

"I'm not just gonna do junk." He calms down, which let's me know he's officially at his pique. "I'm gonna file for divorce, pack up all your shit, and have it in the yard by tomorrow night, and I'm finally gonna tell you how much I hate being married to you." He tells me and I nod like he's being serious.

"You're such a fucking--" Duff starts but I interrupt him. 

I don't even think Nikki notices.

"No, you're gonna go feel sorry for yourself, lock yourself in the closet, shoot up, wake up, feel like a fucking prick--because you are one--then you're gonna ignore me for a few days even though you know I'm right, then we're gonna go to Tommy and Heather's wedding, and the day after, I'm calling Doc and Bob Timmons, we will be attending therapy for our marriage and you will be dragged to rehab kicking and screaming."

And thus the battle between Sikki Nixx and Rabid Bitch Vivian began with no inkling it would become a full-blown war.

[iamoncewas]

The Symphony of Sorcery

The dark musical score possessing Mickey can be seen as being controlled by fear or doubt, and Spellican is the source of it. In order to face him, the source of the fear, the darkness first has to be dispelled. To do that, Sora needs a Sound Idea, and its a power that can dispel any darkness. Mickey tells Riku that force won't stop the darkness, but a Sound Idea will.

An "Idea" is a thought or concept, actually or potentially present to consciousness. When something is "Sound", it is free from flaw or fallacy, based on knowledge and experience, is logically valid, and has true premise.

When Sora tries his Sound Idea, they find one isn't enough. Sora is unconcerned, and knows Riku will come through, which he does. They needed 2 Sound Ideas because this "power that dispels any darkness" is love, and that takes a connection between 2 hearts.

Sora and Riku both had a Sound Idea. They traversed beautiful worlds to retrieve them. These worlds however, were fraught with monsters (fear, doubt, and lies), though not as powerful as the "big one". They each considered something that was logical and had true premise. Something that can dispel any darkness. These Sound Ideas then came together and created a "powerful harmony".

The "Sound Idea" that both Sora and Riku had, was that they just might really, truly, be in love with each other. And yes, those two separate ideas they had are in fact so sound, that they literally created music together. Dearly Beloved.

When Riku retrieves his sound idea, he places his hand on his heart and gasps. He then falls into darkness, landing in front of YMX.

This is mentioned here because, Riku originally had his Sound Idea in KH1, which was when he became jealous of Kairi, which led to his fall to darkness.

Sora's boss is Spellican, who can be seen as his confusion over his feelings for Kairi, what is obscuring his truth. That's why Riku instead fights Chernobog, representing his own darkness.

Sora continually refers to Mickey as "Your Majesty", forgetting this is a past time where they haven't yet met. Riku doesn't have this issue, having been calling Mickey by his name for a while because of their closeness, which is pointed out by Mickey's continual remarks on their familiarity, and his hopes to one day be part of the team. Riku and Mickey have a strong bond, as strong as Sora's is to Donald and Goofy. And this past, dream version of Mickey can still feel their experiences in his heart.

The present Mickey knows how deeply Riku and Sora are connected, how much they truly care for each other, and Mickey knew exactly who they were talking about in the RoD in 2.9. And this past Mickey knows too, even though he just met them.

He hears the way Riku talks about Sora, and then tells him blatantly that it's because Riku loves Sora so much that Sora was able to enjoy the music at all. Without Riku the music wouldn't exist. To say their "hearts are always in tune" and that they are each "holding onto a little part of the other" [this part is quite literal as well I think] is to say that they inherently understand each other, they match each other. He's basically telling Riku that they're soul mates. They are counterpoint to each other.

[Counterpoint's Japanese name is Fantasy Notes, but I still believe this is relevant or its English name would be more similar. Perhaps this was a clue specifically aimed at the Western audience but idk.]

Counterpoint - the combination of two or more independent melodies into a single harmonic texture in which each retains its linear character.

Dearly Beloved is a counterpoint. It contains two distinct melodies composed out of identical chord structures, allowing them to be layered on top of each other.

The KH1 version of Dearly Beloved contained only the primary melody. Every game after has contained the secondary melody as well. Riku can be seen as the primary melody. That's why the KH1 version only contained the primary melody, because only Riku had faced his romantic feelings for Sora. Sora was suppressing his. They resurfaced in him when he closed the Door to Darkness in Riku's face at the end of KH1. Sora is the secondary melody.

Sora's score is pink. Riku's is blue. The colours of dawn. The beginning of the KH3 intro is the dawn sky.

"I cant go back to being the liar I used to be. Our rings shall be the colour of the sunrise. Lay your heartbeat on top of mine and let's dance. Let's celebrate the fact that we live in this moment."

"Kiss me once, kiss me twice, give me you. Let's listen to the sound of the sunrise, side by side. Let's vow to live our lives together."

"Its so damn annoying that I want to fall asleep clinging to you every day."

"Under the beautiful blue sky, we would keep sleeping..."

Nomura said Passion is specifically about "Sora and Riku's reunion". He told Utada Hikaru that he wanted it to be like a "Hikari 2". Therefore, Hikari is also about Riku and Sora. All of the theme songs are, including Dearly Beloved, the theme of the series.

The Combined Keyblade has only appeared in The World That Never Was in DDD (the dream), and in the Dark World in KH3. Sora and Riku appear to only be able use it in sleep/darkness. If they could use it in the Realm of Light, I imagine they would be using it all the time. This is intentional, because it's in the darkness that Sora and Riku's connection is the strongest. Because that's where they face their fears, shining light on the darkness. Riku knew he had to face Ansem, his darkness, or he would keep coming back. He had to shine light on him, and what he represented. It's not about changing the darkness into light. The darkness is still darkness, it just doesn't control you. When Riku says "consume the darkness, return it to light", he means, see it for what it is, and don't fight it. Accept it as a part of you. This is how he "trapped darkness in his heart", making him immune to it's influence. It happened when he turned into Ansem, which was when he looked directly at his darkness, and it changed him. He returned to his true form after protecting the others in KH2, after staring directly into the light. Once he realized all he cared about was Sora.

The combined keyblade only manifests in darkness because it represents the truth within the darkness, that Sora and Riku are each other's light. Accepting the "dark power in their hearts", their secret deep feelings they were once ashamed of, which led to a sometimes painful journey. A heart is pain, but pain is being human. This is darkness born from love. Why the combined keyblade has both a light side, and a dark side.

Darkness IS the heart's true nature. It's what we love, what we care about, what we connect with, that gives the heart it's light.

Dearly Beloved basically means, something very treasured or important. It's also something said by the officiate at the start of a wedding. A wedding of sorts is clearly what the original lyrics to Chikai convey.

"Today is the perfect day for an unprecedented vow, our vow. We don't need beautiful flowers or witnesses. Let's wear rings of the same colour."

When something is gotten "dearly", it has been achieved through great hardship.

This is why I think the combined keyblade's name is Dearly Beloved. It's the music their hearts make together manifested as a keyblade, and it cuts through any darkness. Their heart and soul's union.

[astoria00]

A Cinder character analysis, because I felt like it

The Rwby fandom has become even more toxic over the course of this volume. Normally I tend to stay away from the source of discord there, because you just can't reason with the haters and the people who harass others to force their opinion on them. So because a friend asked me to, I will present you my own analysis of Rwby's most hated character and my personal favorite:

Cinder Fall

So the most popular question regarding her is simply: Why?

Why do you have faith in Cinder? She's done nothing but be completely cruel and abusive.

Actually that is exactly the right question to ask.

Why?

Why does Cinder do these things?

There is no such thing as pure evil, so why does a 22/23 year old do something like that?

Because she's broken.

Because she's hurt.

Her whole bravado was nothing more to me than playing over her own fears with power and arrogance.

“I want to be strong“

So nothing can ever hurt me again.

“I want to be feared“

Because if they fear me I won't have to fear them.

“I want to be powerful“

Because I want to be above this pain and fear. I don't want to feel them anymore.

Is Cinder cruel and abusive, sure, but does that mean that's how she started out?

No!

Does it mean she hasn't done some good?

Again, no!

I know a lot of people believe Raven when she said Cinder tricked Emerald and Mercury, but ultimately, she didn't.

They're broken people, just like her and she offered them a better life, a chance of survival.

Emerald believes Cinder to care about her because Cinder was the first one to actually do.

Was it selfless?

No, but for Emerald it was everything, and in no way did Cinder ever try to play a samaritan. Emerald knew that Cinder wanted her help, that's why she took her from the streets and Emerald accepted this.

The same for Mercury.

He knew exactly what he was getting into and not only that, he got new legs out of that.

These two were practically Cinder's shadow. It is normal to grow fond of each other, but for broken people it works different. They might not acknowledge their feelings, so how about we take a look at Cinder's honest raw feelings that we have seen in the series.

Her whole vol 1-3 persona was her immitating Salem. We can safely say she enjoys having power, but she's also easily rattled when something surprising happens and doesn't know how to act. Her trouble to adapt to these situations shows she is not as sure of herself as she wants to make us believe. She is still the girl who hates being afraid and surprise is certainly pretty near that particular emotion.

In vol 4 we see her more honest, more open. We see her frustrated and hurt and she probably also lashed out against her teammates. Does that mean she hit them?

No.

Just because we heard it happening once doesn't mean she did that frequently. Especially against her subordinates. She might have tried to shove them away, seeing as she wasn‘t able to speak for quite some time, but that probably was very hard. She was hurt pretty bad. And who else do we know to lash out against others right now?

Yang.

So granted, Yang is not being mean about it, but she as well struggles with ptsd, has trust issues with Blake, and lashes out against her dad when he tries to help her. Is she abusive in these moments?

No, because she is hurt and reeling from the aftermath of Beacon, just like Cinder. She is scared and she hates being scared!

Who would be able to understand that the best? Mercury. Seeing as he is the one who had his legs amputated and gone through serious shit as well, I'm sure he helped a lot. Does that mean he will proclaim his undieing devotion to Cinder?

No!

Because of his own issues. His own father literally stole his semblance and was a drunk who beat him regularly. So admitting he is fond of Cinder? Absolutely not.

Why did he pick at Emerald?

Because she is still able to express her emotions so openly. She's the only one of the three of them who can still do this. Who allows herself to show weakness and vulnerability in their midst.

Emerald opening up to Mercury is our best example. Especially if you compare it to how guarded she becomes once Tyrian enters the room as well. She trusts Mercury and Cinder. Would she ever admit to caring for Mercury?

No.

Does it mean she doesn't care?

Also no.

Those three were probably very dependant on each other throughout Cinder's recovery. And it even looks like Cinder tends to keep them fully filled in, unlike Salem, because she trusts them.

And this trust also implies a certain amount of fondness between them.

They have this little evil dynamic going on and they probably felt very content posing as students in Haven and Beacon.

So back to volume 4, Cinder is afraid and being almost pushed into vengeance to overcome her trauma, unlike Yang who gets to deal with it in a more healthy way. Cinder doesn't get this treatment, because she is surrounded by people just as lost and broken as her.

And she doesn't get her confidence back either in vol 5. She tries, but she is easily spooked and rattled. All signs signaling that her own trauma and ptsd will most likely resurface again. She wants to hurt others so she will stop hurting, or before they can even lay a finger on her, because her trust in the world and humanity as a whole is broken.

And still, she manages to show true remorse and sadness for Neo's plight, even if just for a short moment.

I don't condone what Cinder has done and I won't excuse it either, but she is human and that shows so clearly with how she wants to rid herself of her ability to feel fear.

Even if Cinder's past is not revealed yet, we know she is broken inside, we know something horrible must have happened to her to make her this way.

Then we have this whole Salem angle and in a sense, she is as trapped as Salem once was in her tower.

Her own theme song she shares with Raven shows it. It is so rare to have a characters theme in the refrain, because that is the part that will play over and over again, but it fits Cinder well. Like a mantra or a lullaby, telling herself the same thing over and over again.

If people are able to sympathize with Salem, or Emerald, or Mercury, they can't turn around and exclude Cinder from this list, because she is just as broken as them…and if you can't grasp or understand that, then all I can do is feeling sorry for you and sorry for the Rwby characters. There is no such thing as pure evil and Rwby made a point to show that to us. Cinder doesn't just want power, she wants security, she wants safety, she wants to feel free of her past. It is not Crwby's fault if people can't pick up on foreshadowing and subtle hints.

Everyone who wants to blame Cinder, needs to blame Salem as well. There is a reason we haven't gotten her backstory yet, but it is so clear that she is a victim too.

Cinder is trapped and I think a part of her knows this as well, but she won't acknowledge it. Seeing her and Pyrrha's last words exchange, she must have gotten it too.

The girl is broken, surrounded by broken people and shakled by her own hatred and/of her fear. It actually doesn't get more tragic than that.

This is how I view Cinder, and you can't change my mind!