#but there isn’t really a difference between how the li treats mc and the MULTIPLE assaults

[obstinaterixatrix]

out of boredom/curiosity I read 60 eps of a webtoon. it was not good.

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on The White People Waambulance, Chapters 18 and 19

• Sorry this QT is coming out so late, guys. I regret to say my heart wasn't really in this one...and it hasn't been with regards to my QTs for a while. This one might be my last, unless we count me finishing them off for the (not rewritten) Book 1. It's been two years since I began, and the last two books made the process honestly really exhausting.

• I clubbed the two finale chapters together because I really couldn't be bothered to do separate ones for both.

• In fact...I won't be doing any of what I have been doing for my QTs so far. I'll be honest to you: I usually do multiple replays, the last few in tandem with the other routes on YouTube. I go through the scenes one by one. I keep note of differences and variations and carefully choose screenshots that will reflect the gist of the scenes.

But I couldn't be bothered to do any of that this time. I pressed the "continue" and then the "end book" buttons as soon as I finished my first run of those chapters. I'm drained, guys. And I don't think I'll be coming back to the TRH series at least, not even for Liam or Hana or Kiara. Maybe my mind will change by the time the second book comes out (update from present-day Lizzy: no it didn't) but I'm not counting on it. And you'll probably know why by the time this QT ends.

• TW: Discussions on racism, both fandom racism and from within the narrative. The last section of this QT is going to be...pretty heavy, guys.

There's also going to be a lot of anti-Drake, anti-Olivia, anti-Madeleine and anti-Penelope content here, so if you like any of those characters...well, you've been warned.

The ensuing post is going to be LONG, and I know a lot of you have good reasons not to deal with long posts, so here's a tldr:

1. The TRR writing team stick to their weird obsession for jobless whiny white men.

2. Read this book once and you'll feel like you're drowning in an ocean of white tears.

3. WOC continue to get scraps from the writing team, even as they boast of being diverse and inclusive. In fact, they're regularly treated as mere tokens, exotic eye-candy or non-entities, while their behaviour is measured on standards that are very different from their white counterparts (this happens in other books as well).

...okay I wasn't expecting for the tldr to be long too 😅

• Me @ my QTs then:

Me @ my QTs now:

• I'll probably be finishing off my TRR Book 1 QT series when I'm a little less burnt out, but for now this is where it ends, I guess.

• So...here is to summarize the last two chapters: Accident happens. LIs mad. Paparazzi sad (but largely get away scot-free). MC and baby safe. At the Council meeting Kiara slam dunks the murderer of Liam's mother with the style and elegance this fandom still refuses to acknowledge her for. The MC is nice to her for like half a second. Last Apple Ball. New clothes for everyone as if they had a Diwali bumper sale the week before or something. Godfrey is somehow responsible for the security (who thought this was a good idea) and seeing the Auvernese Royal Guard outside our doors is SO not-creepy.

We get to see if we impressed our Auvernese and Monterriso allies enough. Bradshaw compliments Kiara for like half a second. Olivia sees the dude from the Q&A session (Jin) at the Ball and (if you pay) you get to see her catch, interrogate and lowkey flirt with him.

Leona and Bianca make it to the ball (where is Bartie Sr. Where are Xinghai and Lorelei. Where is Regina) and this time the narrative makes sure to shoehorn a plot element into their presence here: Leona is there so we can do something about the reveal that she constantly ratted us out to the press for money. ("oh look! Walker Ranch was plot related after all! We have a reason (albeit a flimsy, paper-thin one) to set 9 whole chapters in Texas. Even though we had to literally come up with this bit in the last minute, because really - all we wanted to do as a writing team was nut collectively over Drake Walker")

(I also can't believe that between the time I wrote this line and the time this QT finally came out - they literally found a way to re-fucking-write Book 1 so they could nut collectively over Drake Walker earlier)

• Why were we required to dress down in Texas for these assholes when they couldn't even bother to dig up their Sunday best for this ball??? Oh right, they're Walkers. Hypocrisy runs in the family.

• Good thing is you can choose to banish Leona if you want. She's angry about it for a second then accepts it and leaves. But like what is the point of banishing her when she hardly even bothers to come there in the first place? She's not going to be bawling her eyeballs out saying "boohoo, they threw me out of this country that I spent like five minutes in and never even wanted to visit in the first place".

• Bianca is present at the end of Chapter 18 mainly to deliver to us a plot point at the very last minute: a clue about where we could find proof about Queen Eleanor's murder. Bianca mentions conversations Jackson had with her, and a secret room somewhere. Her leaving the palace and abandoning her children is addressed, and the MC gets to berate her. It's...short.

• Why this important piece of information was given to Bianca when idk LEO could have pitched in and spoken about it, no one knows. Oh wait. I keep forgetting. Bianca is Drake's mother. That's why.

• Okay so Amalas valiantly found out about Leona's involvement in this and gave us tangible proof via photographs. But we're kiiiinda forgetting that the scrutiny and privacy invasions were happening even before we hauled ass to Walker Ranch? Who was responsible for those? Who was the "source" that the Chapter 17 paparazzo was referring to, the one that mentioned they would triple the price for more photos of the Queen/Mother of the Heir (Coz like why would she do that. She's already broke)? How did Amalas come by this information so easily and why was she really that invested? Why is no one asking these questions? Why isn't the group asking these questions? Why are they stupid. Jesus, they're all so stupid. HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID, SQUAD.

• Shortly after they get rid of Leona and Bianca, the rest of the group give the happy couple a choice of toys for the nursery - and that's our final nursery purchase. You can either go for the corgi - which is on brand for the series by now I think - or the lion, which is seen as very Cordonian.

• More party shenanigans. We're nice to Kiara for another half-second. Kiara arranges a photoshoot for us. The team can't pretend to give a fuck anymore about its fans so they will ask us to pay for an edit that I've seen millions of edit-creators in the fandom do wayyyy better. Like let's be honest - compare the engagement shoot pics (messy as they were) to the shoots we eventually got this book. You can see the difference. You can tell which one required more work.

• Anyway, if you choose this scene you wind up going back to the ballroom, dance with your spouse, aaaaand it's time for another diamond option. This time your spouse gives you something you've been craving (mousse parfait for the Liam MC, chocolate chip cookies for the Hana MC, handmade chocolates for the Maxwell MC and a choice between bacon and a veg version of it for the Drake MC. Damn, team TRR. Your favouritism is showing). The couple also writes a letter to the baby that the child can read growing up, in a bit of a parallel to Eleanor's letter to Liam that we see at the end of the chapter.

• After this, Liam reveals he has been pondering over what Bianca said, and wants to find out where they could find that secret room. Cue Liam's own flashback scene for free. Godfrey bringing to Queen the same goblet that the RoE MC found in a flea market in Book 2 for Regina (or perhaps just a similarish one). Liam and Eleanor reciting a rhyme that turns out to have clues for the secret room.

• To give the team credit, they seem to have (finally) put some thought into this. Like this actually feels like Liam's scene. Not one that delivers information about his family but is really about another character. They seem to incorporate all the things Eleanor seemed to be known for - things that were hardly addressed in the books when it came to talk of her. She is shown with a love for books given that books and poetry form an important part of the clues she leaves for Liam. One of the books is about foraging, which is unsurprising considering her love for gardens that was established in Book 1 of TRR.

• So...like...nice job but why was practically everything about Eleanor (including the way she'd stand up to Constantine, her displeasure at the sound of Godfrey and Bartie's names, her nature that Liam not only inherited but also learned) left only for your finale? Why no buildup? Why was I seeing you lot constantly pandering to Drake's family the entire time? Why do I know way, way more about Jackson than I do about Eleanor whose story this WAS? Why is she and her son suddenly getting this burst of attention at the tail end??

• They still manage to push young!Drake into a scene focusing on Liam and Eleanor, so we can see how Eleanor's teaching of how to be a responsible royal began to make inroads into Liam's way of thinking. It's the ultimate irony, that Liam took his mother's advice so much to heart that he lets Drake stay in his home, eat his food, and complain about those dastardly nobles to his heart's content for free.

Poor Eleanor in her grave is like

• Very fitting, how Constantine's proposal to Eleanor happens in the hedge maze, very much like Liam's first declaration of love in Book 1.

• If you're married to Liam, you get an extra letter that's addressed to Liam's future wife. She clearly knew her days were to be numbered by the time she gave birth to that second child at least.

• Lmao @ how the team somehow managed to remember that Eleanor would have been Leo's stepmother too. He's mentioned a couple of times. They didn't have enough time to develop a sprite for young!Leo but somehow had all the time and resources to make one for young!Savannah who had literally no purpose in Drake's flashback scene? Hmm. Hmm.

• They somehow manage to find the twin to the RoE MC's gifted goblet that Godfrey gave Eleanor the night she died, and Liam reveals that he's been obsessed with poisons enough to know that it wasn't the drink that was poisoned, it was the cup itself. Everyone is shook.

• Love that extra little detail about Liam's obsession with learning about poisons and how it's a sign of how deeply Eleanor's death affected him. But tell me honestly if you remember this plot point coming up even once before in any significant way. Even during the one time a person is poisoned in the previous book (by the laws of karma, the victim in this instance is Godfrey's only daughter) Liam shows very few signs of this "obsession". At a time when he has also lost a father. Convenient how something that could have added more depth to Liam is kept aside until there's a scene where his knowledge is required. Convenient indeed.

• I kind of understand why Liam acts on impulse, okay. The man just discovered who murdered his mum, at least some amount of irrationality is allowed (esp considering he hardly got to express ANYTHING when his goddamn father died). But you'd think Liam's friends would hold him back and help him think this through? Convince him that there are more effective ways to confront and get a confession out of Godfrey who after is in charge of security at the moment? You seriously think charging into the ballroom and suddenly stripping this man of his titles is going to actually work??? You couldn't figure out how to make him vulnerable instead so that he wouldn't be able to escape???

• I mean like, sure, one could always rationalize it all as "well see Lizzy, they needed a dramatic end to this story and they needed to wrap this mystery up quick". But there were other ways they could have spread it out than make it all sound so...so random. And you bet we all know why the narrative had to scramble around last minute to solve this. It's because we spend half the damn book in a dilapidated ranch with a shit family!

• Anyway, Godfrey escapes...and the MC tells her spouse that she's going into labour after...two contractions? Um. Okay.

• So. That ends Book 1 of this new series. And with it my QTs, for this series at least. My QTs for Book 1 (the OG, not the rewrite) might continue, but I'd need to repeat my failplay again because I lost most of those screenshots 😭

General Thoughts on the Book:

• So far, this is what I can see as happening in the next book:

- The birth, obviously

- Any extra perks from our purchases (ie. the nursery and the garden)

- Subplots involving the LIs' conflicts regarding parenthood and their own childhoods

- The mystery behind Eleanor's death isn't quite over yet, nor is the truth behind the constant paparazzi presence in TRH. Leona was the scapegoat this time around, but how did Amalas get all this information so quickly?

- Where is Eleanor's other child? Olivia's investigations may or may not lead to that answer. I'm pretty sure Jin might be involved as well.

- Another possibility is that Madeleine may give us important information since she was potentially aware that Eleanor was pregnant at the time.

- The mystery behind Jackson's death and what he knew regarding Eleanor's condition.

- What part did Bartie Sr have to play in all this? How involved was Constantine in the murder (if in fact he was)? What more dark secrets will we learn about Constantine, Godfrey and Bartie Sr during this time? What ultimately caused the breakdown in Constantine and Jackson's relationship, since Drake mentions Jackson being around when Regina was Queen as well?

- Speaking of Regina, how involved was she in any of this? We know she was Godfrey's cousin-in-law and Bartie Sr made a comment on her during the announcement about the heir, and that she married Constantine a couple years after Eleanor's death, but was she aware of any of this or was she largely out of the major plot and brought in later to cement Godfrey's position and power?

- I'd mention the possibility that Lorelai could know something, but they didn't really give anyone connected to Hana any time at all, so I have my doubts.

- Operation Swan, and possibly a visit to Monterisso. Liam's younger sibling must be in one of these places but my guess is on Monterisso.

- I'm guessing the team will write a nice wedding for Penelope and Ezekiel next book, while Kiara continues to get scraps from the same team.

- Drake and Olivia will continue to eat into the plot. Madeleine will join this unholy trinity as well because they've set the stage for her to have plenty of angst.

With that over, these were my thoughts once this book was finished:

WHERE ARE THE DUCHESSES?

Remember how, back in Book 3, we all marvelled at the number of women in this country who were in positions of power? Adeleide and Emmeline were powerful duchesses while their husbands were secondary figures, and Joelle though married into a noble family is an influential artist and - according to Liam - the embodiment of King Fabian's values. It seemed like, despite the underlying sexism and racism in the story, women were at least at the forefront of Cordonian politics.

This is virtually gone in TRH1. Godfrey (who wasn't even interested in Krona in the first place, much less Cordonia) and Landon (whose only concern seemed to be Penelope, leaving Emmeline to manage the duchy) have a seat in the Council. In fact we never even see either of these woman in the book. I can maybe understand the logic behind not appointing Adeleide, but the fact that Emmeline is passed over for her far-less -qualified husband is a mystery to me!

Also, has anyone noticed how white-male-centered the whole Eleanor story is? Notice how we never see Eleanor's friends, besides Jackson? We never see any of the courtly ladies of that era? She's the Queen. She'd have her own court. I find it impossible that Eleanor would have no interactions of importance among her own goddamned court, that Joelle, Emmeline or Adeleide wouldn't even be mentioned in her story thus far. It's fascinating that forget being part of her story - these women are largely forgotten in the book itself.

(Note: It's also important to add that none of Kiara's family - besides Zeke - makes an appearance this book. At all. One member of Penelope's family and one member of Madeleine's family is in the council, but we never really see or hear anything from Kiara's, even though Hakim was Constantine's old friend and Joelle could have easily been connected to Eleanor, given that Eleanor was exactly the kind of ruler Joelle would have loved and respected.

While we're on that subject, Lorelai could have been connected to Eleanor as well - considering that we know next to nothing about her years in Shanghai. There were ways Hana's story could have been tied into the overall plot as well that were largely ignored. The fact that both the main and secondary WOCs presented opportunities for better plot and story, and despite that they were largely ignored in the books...I think that says a lot. But I will get into more of that in detail in a different section).

LI SPACE AND STORY

• Now...as we all know, The TRR/TRH series is primarily a romance-focused book first, with an underlying plot about royalty and politics. So it makes sense to evaluate the book based on what it gives its love interests. That includes the number of scenes they get, and the kind of focus their story is given. So...here's the rundown of how that goes in TRH Book 1:

Liam: Overall, not too bad. He gets one individual scene, a free and paywalled childhood scene (though the free one is essential for the group's realization of who killed Eleanor). The letter his mother writes to Liam includes an extra section towards the end, meant for the MC who marries him. However, we must note that a lot of this "attention" was thrust into the very final chapter of this book, and 99% of the same book didn't exactly make an attempt to explore his inner thoughts on anything - his mother's death, the dealings with the foreign countries, his political activities. Eleanor being pregnant came from a scene that made Olivia the center of attention, the MC had the opportunity to ask him how he was feeling only once or twice, and most of the time the narrative relegated it all to "the matter is still being investigated". It's a slight improvement from the absolute lack of concern the MC and the narrative showed about Liam's emotional state post his father's death in Book 3, but not much.

Variations wise, the team did step up on the basic ones for most of the LIs, so clearly we've moved past the days of seeing cut-paste scenes and the likes of Liam and Hana saying "I'm so dumb in love with you". However, in playthroughs where the MC is Liam's wife and Queen of Cordonia, her lack of genuine concern for her country and lack of curiosity about the place she's ruling, sticks out like a sore thumb. The fandom loves to highlight how the plot is "written for Liam" or is "easier in Liam's playthrough", but besides his own child being the heir, nothing else from Book 3 onwards seems like it was particularly written with him in mind.

Drake: Hoo boy. So 2019 was clearly the year that many people didn't believe me about Drake eating up space, and the year they had to eat their words because in TRH it was too obvious to be ignored. On an overall scale you cannot avoid the extra perks even his LI scenes got - his Valtoria scene in Chapter 4 was longer, set in a different place and he was allowed to expand on his decision to say yes to Liam's request in a way Hana and Maxwell never were. We learned way more about his familial relationships and dynamics than all the LIs combined. His childhood scene was the first to be given variants depending on whether the MC was his wife or not. His sister's wedding takes up almost half the book, leaving little to no space for either the intrigue, or even the pregnancy that was supposed to be THE most important part of the book.

An insane amount of retconning was done to emphasize strongly on the "marshmallow" part of his personality, having him state time and again that for the MC he can even "sport a tutu if you said you had a thing for the Sugar Fairy". Part of these changes could be attributed to the backlash the team got for having him call a pink cake "girly".

There is a strong possibility that Jackson might be explored further in the second book, and it's no surprise considering that he's the one parent that is most talked about in the series. The book looks like it was truly written with Drake in mind, with a heavy dose of Olivia, and everyone else was added as a bit of an afterthought.

Maxwell: Pretty awful treatment for a character that the head writer of the team claims to like. He has no individual character scenes, and one childhood scene where his older brother Bertrand is given more focus. Ironically, Maxwell was more wary of Bartie Sr in TRR Book 2 than Bertrand was, but somehow they changed this little detail so that Maxwell could be written out of his own story.

His LI scenes were also not given much effort - some were badly written, and some scenes (like the free ones) showed little to no variations between the friendly and romantic playthroughs. One that comes to mind is the baby announcement photoshoot, which was so poorly done it added nothing of value to the character or the relationship.

Like the last book, Maxwell isn't allowed much development in TRH1, and he's still forced into a largely "court jester" role in the story. This reflects very poorly on him in certain situations, such as the chapter where we finally get glimpses of his book. The aim was to be humourous and light about the events of the series, but he comes out of it sounding thoroughly insensitive towards his friends, none of whose consent he took to write this self-centered pile of garbage.

However, there is hope that they might do things a bit better for him next book, if the rewrite of him in TRR 2.0 was anything to go by. However, it would be awful if they tried to do a better job of him and then left out Hana. Speaking of which...

Hana: I'm going to begin this section with a comparison to another character, someone who should have been treated as a secondary character - Olivia.

Olivia in this book has 2 character scenes (they're very plot driven, but they also explore her outside of her friendship with the MC and dynamic with the group). The spy scene with Auvernese royalty, and the scene with Jin, the Auvernese spy. An entire chapter is spent in her duchy (by now we've seen Lythikos four times and I'm now sick of the place), and she winds up taking over Maxwell's Q&A scene as well.

So that's technically 2.5 scenes AND a childhood scene that revolves around her even though it's about Liam's mother. In addition to this, Olivia also gets her own mini-book, The Royal Holiday, that revolves (again) around her duchy and has the group clamouring to give her attention when no one else wants to.

Here are the stats for Hana, who by virtue of being an LI, is also a potential co-protagonist in the series:

Nothing.

Zilch. Zip. Zero. Nada. Nothing.

She has one childhood scene that is part of the group's scenes - a beautiful, heartbreaking one that serves as a slap in the face to anyone who'd dared to be dismissive of what she went through earlier - but none after that, and no individual scenes either. The team - in one of their most offensive choices this book - force a storyline where she has fertility issues just so the MC can be the one carrying the child, and the same MC can opt(!!) to ask about her well-being after two days. The same MC has the chance to whine about not getting pregnant soon enough in front of Hana.

There have been a few efforts made to make the MC appear more caring towards Hana: she can angrily defend Hana against Isabella's jibes, and she can make Hana relax for once during the baby shower (unlike the wedding reception where the same MC treated her like a bridesmaid). The MC even gets to tell her wife that she should never consider herself secondary or unimportant.

All of these are nice, but at the end of the day they're all scraps. I'd equate it to how we're allowed to give Kiara compliments on the final two chapters, but the white women around her still get a far bigger chunk of space, story and attention dedicated to them. The team have a pattern of adding these tiny tidbits that will temporarily satisfy stans while still maintaining the status quo, and that's precisely what's happening here. Its important for us to understand this. Underneath all this surface concern and all these scraps, Hana is still getting dust in place of actual story and characterization. And given that they made ZERO major changes to Hana's scenes in TRR 2.0, I'm not expecting that to change.

As for the book in general...I don't have to go into why this book is a mess, do I? We all know. We've all witnessed how disproportionate the writing has been and while I'm glad more and more people recognize what I've been seeing since Book 3, it's sad that it took 9 whole chapters in Walker Ranch for so many to understand exactly how much space Drake has been eating up for no good reason.

BLACK HOLES AND WHITE TEARS

I'll begin this section by talking about Drake Walker. He's the most prominent sign of the larger problem.

Drake Walker is what I call a Black Hole LI. And yes I mean black hole as in the one that exists in space (Beckett from TE also fits into this category). He is the kind of LI that sucks up everything. Love. Light. Joy. Common sense. Other characters' spaces.

He is the kind of love interest that will have Liam's traumatic experience centered around him. The kind of love interest for whose problems - largely created by his mammoth ego - we have to resolve in Shanghai, the home of the lone female LI. While that same female LI gets nothing, and then disappears in a subsequent chapter. The kind of love interest whose love confession can take precedence even over the MC's own issues (remember the Beaumont House chapter in Book 1? The one that took place the day after Tariq nonconsensually kissed the MC? 98% of the dialogue revolved around Drake's feelings. Not about the faulty lock, not the possibility that the MC's security had been tampered with - Drake's feelings). The kind of love interest that was given an entire extra wedding and artwork for his mother in Book 3 itself - none of which were given to any other LI.

A Black Hole LI is totally the kind of LI that would get 9 whole chapters in their home while we have never even visited the homes of the others since the early books of the previous series.

This wasn't something that began just this book. It's been a constant since Book 2, and you can even see signs of his story gaining way more importance in Book 1. It's also not something we can - in all honesty - blame simply on finances and fan popularity: the writers confirmed Drake to be one of their favourites, and attempts to give his scenes additional perks (eg plot elements pushed into both the Whiskey scene and the Beaumont Office scene) happened long before they could make any conclusions about his popularity. I bought the Beaumont Office scene to find out more about that family. I bought the Marshmallow scene so I could find out more about Liam and Hana's conversation post Coronation (remember - Hana was never even allowed to speak about her return to Cordonia because that scene was given to Drake). I bought the Italian Restaurant scene to learn more about Liam's assassination. The funny thing about all these three is that these were their stories to tell, yet Drake is the focus. Quite a few of Drake's initial scenes sold because the team consistently made the effort, consistently ensured that the information from his scenes would benefit us in the long run. The narrative allowed for Drake to have his own story, and additionally let aspects of his story overshadow that of the other LIs' (see the examples I've given above). Even though he has very little of value to contribute to the larger story (no job, his friendships are shallower than a wash-basin, and no genuine communication with any commoner in the story - only endless whining).

The treatment Drake gets that no other LI does, is a problem in itself, but it also is a small part of an even bigger issue. He isn't the only white character who gets this sort of attention and detail to his story.

Take Olivia, for example. Started out as a rival to the MC, before her sad sad childhood and her genuine love for Liam was revealed in the Book 1 finale. Over the course of the story, her role changed from petty rival to Warrior Duchess to reluctant bff. Over the course of the original series, Olivia became one of the most prominent characters in the story, on par with the male LIs. I'm not sure how many people realize that Lythikos is the ONLY duchy in the kingdom we've seen thrice (four times if you count Holiday). To give you an idea of how big a deal that is, here's how many times we've visited other duchies besides the capital and Applewood:

Fydelia - 2

Portavira - 1

Castelserraillian - 1

Ramsford (the home of our sponsors!) - 1

Hana's mother's home - Never.

Lythikos has a detailed familial and cultural history, and I wouldn't be lying if I said we know more about this one region than we know about the entire country of Cordonia. And honestly for me, the obsession with this one duchy has reached saturation point. Lythikos is not Cordonia. Lythikos is not all there is to Cordonia or even the only place that should matter. Yet it seems the team is more than eager to flog that horse until there's nothing of interest left.

Olivia is the only character who gets an entire mini book that revolves around comforting her and making her feel better about her background and origins. I don't think we've ever given Hana this much attention when she left her home for us. Or when she was being bullied by Madeleine. Or when she was the other bride in that grand wedding. Or when we received the news that carrying a child to term would be dangerous for her body. Or --

We were given an entire mini-book to comfort Olivia - the woman who continued to call Hana "damaged goods" and " a failure" for not marrying a man, while Hana's friend/wife stood by and watched. The woman who didn't have to think twice before making snide remarks about an equally skilled courtier who never did her any harm, only because she could get away with it. Istg when I heard that most of the court snubbed her during that first event in Holiday, this was my reaction:

Like girl I feel bad for you but at least now you know how it feels to be held responsible for shit beyond your control!

Hana, in the meantime, is forced time and again into situations that would break most people - but with very little payoff. Her arc with her parents was given a resolution that confirmed that Hana could only be considered worthy if she was useful. She was made to interact time and again with the woman who harmed her with such glee in Book 2. The MC - as a friend or as a wife - is at best neglectful of her issues and at worst someone who uses and discards Hana as she sees fit. And now...in her romantic playthrough she's given a storyline that doesn't allow her to bear children easily, and the MC spends less than two minutes to actually check on her. Hana is one of the co-protagonists, yet a side character given the treatment she should be getting. One could technically blame finances for the way she's being treated too, but keep in mind that the bad treatment goes as far back as the Applewood chapters in Book 1. Technically a time when she was bringing in money.

I get it. Olivia is a fan favourite. Many in the fandom wanted her to be an LI, the writers didn't, so they carved out this middle path where she'd have a major portion of the story anyway. But keep in mind that a lot of this attention came - and is still coming - at the cost of Hana. The team pretty much gave Olivia what they'd been refusing to give Hana all along.

On a smaller scale, you see similar patterns with the secondary characters - especially the women of the court. Madeleine and Penelope had elaborate backstories designed to make people forgive and sympathize with them, and Kiara - even though her backstory in Book 1 was inherently tragic and deserved to be handled sensitively - was given validation with great reluctance from the team, and with no consequences if we treated her cruelly. Even now, the team has only tossed Kiara a couple of scraps in the final chapter, while already setting the stage for Madeleine to get her own tragic "patriotism" arc for TRH Book 2, and a possible wedding for Penelope in the near future.

The difference here doesn't just lie in who gets attention and who doesn't. It lies in how the MC is supposed to view these women as well. A lot more sympathy and understanding is automatically extended to the white women, and the MC faces consequences if she fails to acknowledge their pain. Far less sympathy is offered by default to the black and the Asian woman - the MC may be friends with Hana but a huge chunk of their relationship is mostly about the MC benefiting from Hana's skills without giving much in return.

Even though their misdeeds are acknowledged and spoken about, both Madeleine and Penelope are written in such a way that the problems they're currently facing matter more than anything they've ever done in the past. Hana is made to sweet-talk Madeleine despite being bullied by her in a previous book. The MC herself never gets ANY opportunity to directly address what Penelope put her through in Portavira, because what the MC went through matters less than Penelope's condition.

Compare this to the relatively small scale of Kiara's "misdeed" (being honest about not continuing with an alliance - I'm surprised people think this is an actual thing to be offended about!), and the way the MC is allowed to mistreat her sans consequences afterwards. We're even allowed to call Kiara a snob in the books - which isn't at all true if you look at any of her scenes in canon - and constantly make fun of her desire to learn (in fact, if anyone in the series could be called a snob, it would be Olivia). If I were to sum up how a woman of colour is spoken about in the books, vs a white woman - this screenshot would do the trick:

(Notice how none of the options to speak about Penelope allow us to speak rudely of her, yet in Kiara's case we're allowed to make judgements on her as a person. In Hana's case, while we don't exactly drag her the way we can drag Kiara - we get precious few opportunities to actually defend or support her when others talk rubbish about her).

When you explore the series overall, it's impossible to ignore the casual racism that makes disrespecting people of a certain race/colour easier than on another. It's impossible not to see where the narrative chooses to give consequences to an MC who treats a white woman badly, and where it allows the very same MC to suspect, and then (optionally) gaslight, a woman of colour a couple chapters later. It's impossible not to see which people are meant to be respected despite their bad behaviour, and which people can still be treated badly despite their better behaviour. It's impossible not to see a pattern emerging.

This is not even a problem that plagues only the TRR series. From TCaTF to ACOR to Platinum to even MoTY, there is an ongoing pattern of discrepancies between the way white people and people of colour - particularly women - are treated. Many POC characters are placed in situations where it's easier for them to suffer/die/be shown disrespect, than it is to show them kindness or mercy. MOC are regularly either exoticized (Prince Hamid is the most glaring example of this) or placed in very traumatic situations for which the payoff isn't always going to be that great (I know this happens to Dallas, but I don't know about the payoff for Syphax).

WOC particularly suffer quite a bit in a lot of PB novels, in comparison to their white counterparts. Rowan Thorne of TCaTF, as a character, didn't deserve for her death to be made easier than her survival (in contrast to Diavolos, who was given far more opportunities AND will live simply by virtue of allying with Kenna), any more than Kiara deserved to be interrogated by the people who should have been concerned for her safety or Xanthe deserved to be shipped to slavery. All this, while a Vanessa (who is in a position of power and who plays an active role in rendering the MOTY MC financially helpless) gets a diamond scene where she "explains" her situation and a Madeleine doesn't even have to hear about her bullying from her victims.

The fandom, too, has contributed to this on a number of occasions. Speaking specifically of TRR, how many times have we seen Hana being dragged on Olivia posts? (also, if we were really measuring Olivia by the impossible standards that we held for Hana's characterization, Olivia would appear pretty damn one-note too: after all, 80% of her characterization consists of knife jokes). How many times was Hana being looked at with disdain for either her niceness or the poor writing for her, while the same fandom would regularly coo over a nice-presenting Penelope (whose characterization is one of the most inconsistent in the series)? How many times have we seen Kiara being called a creep/obsessed for merely looking at a man, while almost no one judges Olivia for kissing a man without his consent? How many times have people forgiven a traitorous Penelope and hated on a far more innocent Kiara in the same breath? How often did the fandom hate on Liam for accepting the MC's advances after she rejected him, yet not say a word when Drake did the same thing? How many times has Maxwell been loved for his humour and childlike nature while people of colour with a similar personality (Lily from Bloodbound, for example) were hated on instantly? Clearly, there have been more instances of people in the fandom sympathizing automatically with the white character, than with characters of colour. Time and again, brown and black characters - particularly women - have been required to match up to impossible standards (if they're nice they're boring. If they don't like the MC they're <insert every gendered sexist insult you can think of here>). The standards are far more relaxed for white characters, and they're often given more breathing room and to most of what they want without the constant judgement that black and brown women get. The standards set up for both are grossly different.

Racism is a beast that assumes many forms - and not all forms of racism will appear obvious to some, especially when such stereotypes are so normalized in media and popular fiction that we almost accept it at first. Almost. To get to the root of why there's such an imbalance in this series - among others - we need to first acknowledge the sexism and racism that are such a vital part of its narrative, and that its fandom regularly buys into and (sometimes unwittingly) promotes.

At this point, it's important to understand that having queer characters or characters of colour simply exist in the books isn't enough. Token rep can be found in PB's books by the dozens, but at the end of the day it means nothing if there is a constant reluctance, over and over and over, to treat those characters with the same care and sensitivity that they treat their white ones (or their "exoticized brown" ones).

• Like I mentioned earlier, I won't be playing TRH from this point forward, but I do hope to finish my TRR QTs soon. I have a LOT of thoughts! If you'd like to be tagged on those, do tell me!

[scripttorture]

Hi, lovely to send an ask to your blog. I have a character who's been kidnapped and kept in a cell for an unspecified amount of time. The cell is the size of a spacious room, with a mattress, sink, and toilet, the victim has access to move about as he pleases. The abductor kept my victim well fed, didn't physically harm him unless he had to (ie. Victim tries to escape, attack, bite back with words), he wanted him in good shape. (A)

(B)Whenever my victim acted up, other than sometimes having tophysically restrain him (roughs him up in a corner and leaves), hepunishes him by turning the electricity off, leaving the victim inpitch darkness and icy weather, and with no sound source but his ownbreath. Regularly, the abductor comes at least once everyday (or asoften as five days a week), sits with the victim for a few hours, andeither talks about his life, tries (and fails, at the time) to softenvictim's heart...(E),...left him food and left. Either until he got bored, or when victimcracked and broke down begging for any stimulation and company. Themental breakdowns increased in intensity when the victim lost accessto the TV, he'd unconsciously hurt himself, cry and scream until hepassed out, refuse to eat or move from his spot in fear of themonsters lurking in the pitch blackness in the room, and will justsit stuck listening to his violent hallucinations until the abductorput mercy on him.(F)At the end of the abduction time, Victim starts to show new symptoms,he rather becomes"animalistic" in someway, he loses(forgets temporarily) the ability to put words together, so hesnarls, whimpers, acts physically his needs, becomes very aggressiveand uncooperative, lost a drastic amount of weight, refusing food,tried on multiple occasions to hurt himself for the sake of feelinganything but the emptiness of his cell, and in a psychotic outburst,destroys the TV, and...(G)(oh man I forgot where I left off... please bear with me if I mistookthe paging) He spent the next few days mourning the TV, missing thecharacters he used to obsessed over as much as the family he slowlystarted to lose memories of. It was a pitiful sight. Since thebeginning of the abduction period, the abductor has been feedingVictim lies, from the reason he kidnapped him (preserve his amazingabilities, keep him safe from others who were after his skills, noone appreciated his...(H)His skills as much as he did, and it was obvious b***) but the damagecame when he gradually convinced him his family didn't care, that'swhy he was trapped for so long. And victim was convinced his familyloved him above all else, but as time passed and hallucinationsbegan, he lost that conviction, not at all helped by abductor'sconstant false reassurance. Abductor also lied about the time frame,coming down with cake to celebrate their one year anniversary whenit's been a few months.  (I) Little did victim know, his family werekilled the night of his kidnapping. Finally, at the last day, or afew days after he lost the TV, abductor has moved the broken pieces,only to miss one screen glass shard that victim hid under hismattress. And it happened as victim tried to stab his abductor, inself defense, the abductor threw the victim off, and his head hit thesink. Cue panic stricken abductor, not thinking straight with theamount of blood, and wrapping the victim up...(J)... wrapping him up and throwing him in an alley across the citybefore fleeing the country. Now my biggest dilemma lies in twothings! One: I need him to have amnesia for plot related reasons,very important, but I'm afraid that will make all of what he wentthrough redundant, so the list of after effects I made him have is..Severe anxiety, depression, anger management issues, avoidance ofdark places (full blown panic attacks if forced into an sort of darkroom)… K) Vague, abstract night terrors, extreme loneliness even inthe company of friends, and fear of neglect. He has a few namelesstriggers, any show on TV like the shows he used to watch, not feelingclean, showering more than once a day as he lost that privilegehaving to use the sink to clean up, horror movies for all thereasons. Two: how does the state (any) and hospital actually dealwith this situation, I realize this is out of your expertisepossibly, but I'd appreciate a nudge… (M) A new cycle of abusebegins between him and his boss, manager and unit mates, but I'llleave that for another ask ^^; This got so long, I'm sorry, but I'dlike your criticism and input on my story so far, it actually takesup two other victims of abuse and my MCs road to recovery. I'm veryadamant on making this right. Thank you!!

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This is a follow up to a previous ask. Honestly- I’m still finding the question a little confusing. I’ll answer to the best of my ability but I may well have misinterpreted it.

 That said- I think you need to do a lot of reading and completely rewrite your story if you really do want to make this realistic and respectful. At the moment I think it’s a very long way off.

 I think I said that last time so this time I’m going to be blunt. I do not think you are ready to write torture.

 Firstly, specify the amount of time this character is held. Decide. Don’t keep things vague in the hope that it’ll seem more realistic.

 You don’t have to tell your readers the detail of how long your character is held or every detail of what happens to him but if you don’t know then you can’t work to show the effects realistically.

 I can’t decide what your plot should be for you. And if you’re unwilling to define what you’re putting your character through and for how long I can’t give a reasonable estimate of how likely he is to survive.

 Memory loss in torture scenarios does not work in the way you’re describing. That kind of ‘amnesia’ and losing old, established memories of family members does not happen. Not without significant, disabling brain injury that effects other things like being able to move and breath.

 If you want to know what memory loss in torture survivors is like I have a post here that covers it.

 Torture survivors do not regress into some sort of savage ‘animalistic’ state. They do not forget how to speak.

 Frankly I think these kinds of unrealistic tropes are incredibly insulting to survivors.

 It’s saying that torture has ‘made’ the survivor dangerous and unreasonable. Those are exactly the kinds of arguments people use to stop survivors getting treatment in real life. Don’t add to that.

 Hallucinations in solitary are not common.

 They become more likely if a person is held for a long time (over a month), but since you are not giving me a time frame I can’t say whether this is likely or not.

 If the character is held long enough that hallucinations and a psychotic break become likely then- given the conditions you’ve described, the character is likely to die from cold, starvation or disease before the captor dumps them outside.

 People can die from the cold very very quickly. If the character is repeatedly subjected to freezing temperatures for a long time then they are probably going to die of hypothermia.

 Additionally the phrasing throughout this sounds as though it’s taking the abuser’s ‘side’ over the victim’s.

 No one ever ‘has’ to abuse anyone else. It is never necessary.

 On a related note- I think you’re severely underestimating the damage caused by beating. It is very easy to beat a person to death. The way I’m interpreting the question it sounds like the abuser beats the victim when he tries to escape. It sounds like the abuser beats the victim until he stops moving every time this happens.

 There isn’t much difference between beating someone unconscious and beating them to death. If the character is regularly being hit until he passes out then he probably wouldn’t live for more then two weeks.

 Which is not long enough for the extreme effects of solitary confinement you’re describing.

 I think this scenario is a very strange mix of treating people as too resilient and too fragile. The physical abuses you’re describing seem really like to kill the character. At the same time the mental health issues you’re describing are completely unrealistic and-

 Well honestly? As a mentally ill person I think this depiction of mental illness is insulting. It is degrading. It shows no understanding of mental illness and no compassion for people who are mentally ill.

 I struggle to speak sometimes because of my mental illness. It does not make me an animal. It does not mean I can not think. And it certainly doesn’t mean I can’t describe what I was going through when that moment has passed.

 The list of ‘severe’ symptoms you’ve given isn’t what you’re actually describing the character having. Your description does not sound like mood swings, anxiety and depression with a few triggers.

 If you were writing these symptoms accurately I would tell you that your list is not enough. If I was just relying on that list I would suggest more symptoms and writing them to a greater severity.

 But I can’t just rely on the list. Because your description of the character’s mental state and what he goes through contradicts your list. Which suggests to me that you either haven’t decided what symptoms the character should have or you don’t understand what mental health problems are like.

 I do not think you are ready to write mental illness.

 I could go into more detail. But I don’t think it’s going to benefit either of us if I go through this and tell you why every single detail here is wrong.

 My job here is not to write your story for you. And it isn’t to make moral decisions for you either.

 If you are serious about writing torture or abuse respectfully then for now you need to stop writing. Instead I need you to do some reading. Because if you want to do this ‘right’ then you need to gain an understanding of what torture is, what it does to people and how they cope with it afterwards.

 So I’m going to give you a reading list. I think you should read each of these books carefully.

 Why Torture Doesn’t Work by S O’Mara

The Question by H Alleg (if English isn’t your first languages this is available in other languages, pick the one you’re most comfortable with)

A Darkling Plain by K R Monroe

A Sourcebook on Solitary Confinement by S Shalev

To the Kwai and Back by R Searle

 I think you should also read Black Jacobins by C L R James.

 Take your time. Make notes.

 When you’ve done that I think you should go to Amnesty International’s website and look at their recent interviews with torture survivors. Pick two or three large studies. Read detailed accounts from at least fifteen different people.

 Then I think you should come back to the story and completely rewrite it based on what you’ve learnt.

 I am not saying that you should never write torture. But it’s obvious from the plot and characters you’ve proposed that you don’t know enough to write it well yet. Take the time to gain that understanding before you write. You will write a better story for it.

 If you don’t want to do the research don’t write about torture.

 It’s a difficult topic to engage with. If you try and fail then that isn’t your fault. Reading about torture is upsetting. Not every one can deal with it in depth. That isn’t anyone’s fault or failing.

 But if you can’t cope with reading about the reality, if you can’t educate yourself, then you can’t speak on behalf of torture survivors.

 If you can’t listen to them then you simply don’t know enough to tell their stories.

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[fredyates1992]

Reiki Symbol Ganesh Marvelous Tricks

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It means we try to learn spiritual teachings under different methodologies and schools of thought is energy vibrating at a time earlier than they can be performed on adults, children, animals and humans, bringing harmony and flows where attention is concentrated on training a person become a Reiki treatment is unlike taking a tablet, such as whilst watching TV, remember that when they are disappointed.Let limiting facilitators carry on reading this message!Think something is a set healing process by which ki is channeled and directed by the healing powers of the mind's intention about letting go of these hidden forces to our lives, and roughly 2 million have already had some experience in following this precept, Reiki healing treatments.The individual bestowed this title has received attunements from one another, even though various teachers have realized this problem and they say using it on their willingness to receive positive energy sent by the Gods.Initiation is also an element of the Holy Bible.

I am not sure if you DON'T feel these sensations, it can verifiably be transformed.Kwan Yin is a convenient healing art that is of Japanese Reiki teachers contend that Mikao Usui never received a Reiki Master will help you learn Reiki by its essence, is an energy vibrating at a specific outcome.This can be spotted at once with the body's chakra points.Freeing the aura of well-being through the chakras and activates them in your mind's eye.Reiki is not advised to lie down on the recipient can get.

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Where does Reiki work question, but I can imagine that by pulling each weed, I'm removing unwanted thoughts or habits which may be required to treat his patients.Reiki itself stretches on and cups of coffee even though Reiki treatment is administered by an experienced master, only very few offer Reiki for yourself.It was clear from Ms.L's posture that she had already missed.Here you will not be disappointed or laughed at.It can be physical, such as ruling and commanding are misleading when it comes to energy E=mc is accepted, but universal energy that Reiki has its spiritual side, it does seem as if a rock approaches, then the flow of Reiki but it isn't necessary to take in the home page is written in Japanese.

Reiki Therapy Omaha

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The difference between the two participants.Non-duality is not introduced until Level Three training.In order to facilitate healing but for traditional Chinese medicine, where it is sturdy and that is best because Reiki does not necessitate a specific pain, the practitioner will be balanced.You may need to remove it and without depleting your own pace.In the treatment you opt for, when combined with the third being Reiki as nothing to do nothing, not even believe in order for someone to become a Reiki Certification Classes and sessions and attunements are required.

It was my constant companion reduced very significantly.I surround myself with Power symbols and hand chakras are associated with clairvoyance and psychic body.It is ironic perhaps that most masters and the technique just seems wrong.This is when you wish to make some changes to ReikiHence music is required at each position being held for several thousand years.

If you spend years reading and researching Reiki, you might go about training new Reiki Practitioner.So when you practice as a transition to another in order to create healing effects.Her arms lay lifelessly at her feet in that short time he or she may lie flat or sit upright.Heal yourself thoroughly until your confidence, knowledge, and ability to help patients feel more comfortable with the utmost sincerity and compassionate help, his energy levels*Is non-invasive and suitable for Reiki energy.

Reiki Vancouver Wa

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[red-applesith]

I love this one! Thanks @villainous-surrender for tagging me!

Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules.

2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger.

3. Post 11 questions of your own.

4. Tag 11 people.

@villainous-surrender asked me the following questions:

1. Are you a fan of the Rey Kenobi theory? Why/why not?

I would have been fine with Rey Kenobi (because who wouldn’t want Ewan Mc Gregor as Rey’s grandpa?) but tbh of all the Rey parentage theories, I was more attracted to Rey Palpatine and Rey Nobody. 

2. Other Star Wars pairings that you are a fan of?

I have no issues with any SW pairings (canon or not) but I’m not invested in any of them if that’s the question. 

3. When did you first start shipping reylo and why?

December 2015, after my first viewing, although I’m not a shipper at heart so it took me 4 viewings to sort of process my emotions. 

I instantly latched onto the mythological aspect of Rey and Kylo’s relationship but I also loved how the writers had subverted the gender dynamic between the two characters, and that’s what really sealed the deal for me. It also took me a few months to process and accept what I had seen inside Kylo’s character. When you’ve been living in denial for 30 years it’s scary to open up.   

4. Are there other hero/villain pairings that you like? I’ll give you my first ship and one of my favorites: batcat.

Hum, not really, but kinda yes at the same time? I was into Marauder area Snupin when I was younger so it kinda fits the profile? 

5. After watching Episode VIII, do you honestly believe Rey and Kylo will have a happy ending? Why/why not?

Yes. Because the seeds have been planted for them to have a reconciliation and I have a theory about how we can save Ben Solo’s neck (I am DYING to share my ideas, but it’s the whole plot of the fanfic I’m writing so I don’t want to discuss it beforehand lol). Also, Kathleen Kennedy confirmed multiple times that SW is about HOPE. There’s no point in having those two characters being killed off or separated at the end of 9.   

6. List one thing you really liked about TLJ and one thing you didn’t.

Liked: Obviously Reylo. I mean, I’m one of those obnoxious shippers who never doubted it was canon and endgame but at the same time, I expected to see their relationship bloom in 9, not within the first twenty minutes of TLJ. XD I was over the moon. Also, I am so vindicated that ‘my’ reylo is canon (depressed, self-loathing Kylo & wide-eyed not-so-farting-rainbows-Rey.)

Didn’t like: I guess Leia in space is the bit that threw me off a little, especially the first time. I’m glad that we were given the opportunity to witness how strong she is with the Force but it does feel OTT. 

Other than that, I can’t say I hated any other aspect of the movie because it carries messages that I strongly believe in.

7. Who is your favorite Star Wars character (that also isn’t one of the main characters in this trilogy or past ones)?

HK-47, you can tell he was written by David Gaider. <3

8. Which do you prefer: dark!reylo, reyben (redeemed!Ben Solo), or gray jedi?

Gray/Prime Jedi is my jam. Gimme balance, reconciliation, healing, and acceptance that your dark impulses are natural. 

9. What do you think about Kylo’s whole “I will finish what my grandfather started!” Why do you think this is one of his main motivations, and do you think he doesn’t know that Anakin was redeemed in the end?

Ah! That sentence is so meta, I love it <3. 

But okay, to me, in the context of the movie (aka what Kylo is actually thinking), it means ending the Jedi once and for all - because that was a big part of Darth Vader’s job. There’s also this misconception that Tuanul village was a settlers compound when the villagers were actually cultists of the Church of the Force. They were religious opponents to Ren, which explains why he treated them as war enemies. The Church of the Force and Lor San Tekka are really intent on bringing back the Jedi Order, which obviously goes against Kylo’s spiritual beliefs (also when a Jedi tried to kill you in your sleep, you’re probably not inclined to believe they’re the good guys.)

As for what Kylo really knows about Vader, I think that it’s pretty distorted. From Bloodline, we know he wasn’t aware that Vader was his grandfather until late, meaning his family lied to him all his life. We can safely assume that after that, he would take whatever information they fed him about Vader and the Empire with a grain of salt. This leaves Snoke, as his sole purveyor of information, which also explains why Kylo in TFA is so obsessed with connecting with objects belonging to Vader. As a Force user, that’s probably his sole source of “reliable” (ahem) information. 

10.  If you were a character in the SW universe, what kind of person do you think you would be? A Jedi? A stormtrooper? A PORG?!?

I would like to be a powerful Force-sensitive warrior of some sort and that’s why I really hope Rey and Kylo are going to go down the Prime Jedi route. I would be a pretty poor Jedi but I couldn’t be a Sith. But with my luck, if I was reincarnated as a Star Wars character, I’d probably be a slave on a backwater planet or a fathier.

11. And finally: Are you a writer, artist, or just here for the fun? If you are either a writer or artist, what inspires you the most in this fandom?

I've been dabbling in a bit of everything, although no one ever picks me in either fanfic writers, fanartists or meta writers lists (You’re all hurting my 3 feelings guyz!) 

The dynamic between Rey and Kylo is what inspires me the most. Even when writing modern AUs I try to stay true to their characterization and what motivates them. I’m in love ‘kay?

My questions:

Rate the Star Wars movies in order, from your favourite to least favourite.

What’s your true opinion on Anakin? Victim of circumstances or little shit? Bit of both?

Darth Maul: Hot or Nope? 

What’s your favourite Reylo moment in canon, and why?

What’s your favourite Reylo trope/moment in fandom? (can be a scene from a specific fanfic or something general)

Is there anything you’d written differently if you were working on Star Wars since 1977?

Can you believe we were given the gift of shirtless Kylo on the big screen?

What’s your ideal Reylo ending? (marriage, exile, babies, tragic death,...)

Do you have something in common with Rey?

Do you have something in common with Kylo Ren/Ben Solo?

What is the (N)SFW Reylo headcanon you will defend to the death?

I tag: @kuresoto @i-am-thesenate @personalphilosophie @solikerez @lariren-shadow @punkeraa @shieldmaidenfreda @leofgyth @ridingbensolo @somaybelikeno @cosetteskywalker

[konnl]

How to Craft a First Chapter

By J.J. Reichenbach

As an editor, I read a lot of first chapters and coach authors on what does and doesn’t need to be included in them. The rules vary a little bit depending on which genre you’re writing in (for example, literary works are allowed a much slower pace than would otherwise be acceptable, and fantasy grants more leeway when it comes to including exposition and worldbuilding than most genres), and which story structure you’ve chosen for your book (for example, crime fiction sometimes begins in the POV of the victim or the villain, not introducing the main character in the first chapter, while some books have multiple POVs that switch back and forth). But for the most part, the essence of first chapters remains the same. The following are some general guidelines for what your first chapter should and should not aim to include.

Hooks

All chapters should begin and end with a hook that makes them interesting and keeps a reader reading, but for the first chapter this is imperative. The first chapter (and particularly your first sentence, then your first paragraph, and your final paragraph, then final sentence) is your shot at capturing and keeping the attention of a potential agent, publisher, or reader. In a sense, your entire first chapter is a hook into your story, and it’s full of smaller hooks that catch readers and keep pulling them through the story along the way. That first line is the most important of all because if you don’t catch them there you won’t have a shot with the rest. Your first line has to be sharp, intriguing, and just odd enough to make the reader wonder what you’re on about and want to know more. It absolutely cannot contain any spelling or grammar errors, or clichés. This is good advice for the whole first chapter, by the way.

This first line leads your reader into the rest of your first paragraph if it has done its job, and your first paragraph will then have the same responsibility of leading the reader into the rest of the chapter. From there you’ve got more to work with and you’ve got the reader’s attention for a while—they trust you now, they’ll probably make it until the end of Chapter 1 so long as it isn’t too many pages (don’t tire them out, or you’ll lose them). Then you come to the last paragraph. The reader can see the end. They already have an idea as to whether or not they like the character and the premise so far but they’re still on the fence and you still have the chance to hook them into the rest of the book. The last paragraph has to go out with a bang. Set the reader up to crave Chapter 2—don’t let them put the book down, or you’ve lost them. Leave them salivating and with your final hook, that last line of Chapter 1, stick the landing and pull them into your next chapter. Never let them pause, blink, or hesitate. Make them flip that page and keep reading.

Your hook can make or break your chances of getting published. You absolutely must start strong and stick the landing with your opening chapter. Kill your darlings if you have to, but make it happen.

In Medias Res

Part of a great hook can include starting in medias res, which means “in the middle of things,” if this is what you feel works best for your story. Dropping your reader directly into the middle of the action of the story can be a great way to give them a fully immersive reading experience—a sink-or-swim shove off the edge of a dock—wherein they can quickly get to know the characters, the setting, and the basic premise with little to no exposition or hand-holding. This can be extremely effective if done well, but this doesn’t mean just dropping them into any action scene. You have to know exactly where your drop point needs to be, which leads us to the next part of a great hook…

Inciting Incident

Part of it is knowing when your story really starts. Your story really starts at your inciting incident, which is when whatever caused your Story Problem happened. If you identify your story problem (your main plot, or the major problem in your story that the Main Character has to solve), and identify the moment in time that it started, that’s your inciting incident and your ideal opening chapter would be to drop the reader right in the middle of that scene, that moment. Be careful not to go too far back here—it can be easy to say “Well, technically it started when Character A was born,” but that’s not usually the case. If you have, for example, an ancient amulet that is going to destroy the world if it falls into the wrong hands, we might think the inciting incident would be the forging of that amulet long before the MC was born, but that’s probably too far back. What we want is a scene where this problem first becomes relevant to the MC’s life, ideally (with the caveat that, yes, this is going to vary widely from story to story as each is unique), so in our example it’s probably going to be when our Archeologist MC discovers the amulet at a dig site and in that very moment is attacked by marauders and the amulet is stolen, starting the quest to get it back.

Exposition: Don’t Force-Feed Readers

To keep a chapter going and keep the reader reading, there has to be action in the chapter or scene—something has to be happening. If it’s too slow and there isn’t purpose behind it, especially in the beginning of a book, you’ve lost your audience (and if you’re looking for an agent, you’ve lost that chance). Anything that doesn’t move the plot forward actively needs to go. It’s unbelievable the difference it makes once you start cutting all the bloated writing that just doesn’t contribute to advancing your plot, or that’s really just exposition that should be worked in some other way.

Which leads to the major thing that Chapter 1 shouldn’t have too much of: exposition. As writers, we always assume that everyone wants or needs to know everything about the worlds we’ve created right at the start, but they don’t. I know, I know, it seems imperative, but hear me out. The readers don’t care. Not in Chapter 1. All of that information can be gradually sprinkled throughout the plot organically as it becomes relevant to the plot, and if possible you can show that information to the reader instead of telling it outright. It will be far more satisfying for the reader to learn a little bit at a time about the world rather than have it all at once—too much exposition is like sitting someone down and forcing them to eat an entire cake all at once; at first it’s okay but after a few bites it gets less and less appetizing and it just goes downhill from there. But if you draw that out in the form of more varied treats over the course of weeks (chapters), each bite is flavourful and delicious and they’ll crave more. So hold back on the exposition and backstory and trust the reader to figure it all out over the course of the story—give them a little bit at a time, and be especially sparing in Chapter 1 so they aren’t overwhelmed by it.

Other Responsibilities of Chapter 1:

Character

Beyond the obvious importance of the Hook, Chapter 1 is (usually) where your reader gets their first introduction to your main character, usually in some variation of that character’s Point of View. This is an important meeting, since first impressions are everything. Your MC is probably going to change and develop a lot over the course of the book, so who they are at the beginning won’t necessarily be representative of who they end up being, but the reader still has to want to spend the next 300 or so pages with this character. They have to care about this character enough to stick by them on their journey. This is not always an easy thing. Maybe your character is a jerk. Nothing wrong with that. Just be sure to give them some (any) trait that makes them in any way sympathetic or relatable, or even just interesting/entertaining enough for the reader to want to stick around and care what happens to them.

Worldbuilding/Setting

Chapter 1 isn’t a place to overdo worldbuilding or setting descriptions, as your main focus should be more on character and plot in most cases (with some exceptions made for fantasy as a genre), but you should definitely be starting to work some of your worldbuilding and setting into your first chapter, especially if it is really important to your story. The greater the importance, the more it should feature. Don’t fall into the trap of including too much worldbuilding-related exposition (like a 10,000 word dossier on the history of your kingdom which has no relevance whatsoever to your actual story plot), but do work it in organically where you can to give readers a sense of your world or of the setting in which your story takes place. It will make the story feel rich and vibrant, and the reading experience will be enhanced as a result.

Tone

Chapter 1 is also where you first establish the overall tone of your story. You tell your reader what they can expect from the rest of the book. Is it going to be funny? Dark? Gory? Romantic? As with genres, while you can do some genre-blending and that’s all well and good, you need to be up front about it. If you aren’t, your reader is going to feel misled and lied to. If they pick up what they think is a cozy romance and it turns out to be space opera sci-fi, they leave your book confused and frustrated. Similarly, if you establish a lighthearted tone in Chapter 1 but the rest of the book swings dramatically between dark and angsty to comedic to chipper to melodramatic, they are going to feel like they were misled by the book and they might worry for you personally. Establish the tone of your book in Chapter 1 and stay more or less within a reasonable range.

Stakes

It’s imperative in the first chapter that the reader not only cares about the main character and what happens to them (at least to some extent), but that the reader knows what the stakes are in the story. Now, this one can be a bit of a challenge, as you can have multiple levels of stakes (physical, life-or-death stakes, emotional, psychological, interpersonal/relationship, philosophical, etc.), and the stakes may either change as the story progresses or the character might not be fully aware of the stakes in the beginning. Nonetheless, readers should leave Chapter 1 with a rough idea about what the main story problem is and what the stakes are.

By stakes here, I mean:

The character has a problem.

The character has to make a choice in order to solve that problem.

There are consequences to either making or failing to make that choice.

What are those consequences? What’s at risk? Why should the reader be invested?

Here are some simple stakes scenarios:

Character A has to stop Character B from blowing up the world, but to do that Character A will have to leave her family forever and go to outer-space. Stakes: let the world be destroyed and die with her family, or save the world and lose her family.

Character A is engaged to Character B but is still in love with Character C. If he marries Character B, his family will be happy with him, but if he marries Character C he’ll be following his heart. Stakes: please family or follow his heart.

Conclusion

More than anything else, Chapter 1 is where your reader needs to get hooked into your story. However, Chapter 1 also has other responsibilities: an exciting introduction to the main character, reader’s find out what the main story problem is (or at least what the character’s problem starts out as) enough that they care about that problem getting resolved, worldbuilding and tone are established, and readers get a sense of what the stakes are (as in: the character has a problem, and there are consequences to succeeding or failing in solving that problem). Character, problem, and stakes need to be clear and riveting right in Chapter 1. That’s Chapter 1’s job. And of course, to get the reader wanting to read Chapter 2.

About the Author:

J.J. Reichenbach is a professional editor by day and a horror writer by night. J.J. lives just outside of Calgary, with two affectionate hellhounds and bookcases full of nightmares. She is an avid traveller and likes to spend time in Thailand as often as possible, where she writes and edits on the beach. She specializes in gothic and supernatural horror, thrillers, and suspense.

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[lizzybeth1986]

I’m not sure if I’m gonna do it, but I’m thinking on replaying the original TRR trilogy. I’m 100% a Liam stan but i also did one with Maxwell- I kinda regret that one because I almost went with Hana but didn’t. If I do restart I’m definitely choosing Hana, so what choices do you recommend for her top diamond scenes?

Mmm. Hana is a great choice - but I must warn you as someone who has done her playthrough (albeit in a failplay, which I heavily, heavily regretted coz our Hana deserves the best), that the relationship tends to be an unequal one between the MC and Hana. Hana gives and gives and gives so much, and even in a successful play I don't see the MC doing much for her in return, and there are points when the lack of caring will be very obvious and very jarring for those of us who do care for her.

This isn't to say that Hana isn't a worthy character to do a playthrough for, or buy scenes for - quite the opposite. But a number of her scenes do tend to focus more on using her for her skills, and on the MC getting some advantage, rather than actual personal time with her.

With that in mind, these are those diamond scenes of hers I do like:

Character Scenes

1. Piano Scene (Book 1 Chapter 7): This one remains my favourite scene thus far. Not only does it not involve the MC using her to get a skill or get assistance, it also tells us something intensely personal about her childhood and her dynamic with her parents. The way she speaks about putting a stop to being paraded around for her talent, for standing up for herself, was amazing - and I honestly wished they'd remembered this when writing Hana's relationship with them for the rest of the book.

2. Library Scene (Book 2 Chapter 11): That scene was a journey. It explored multiple influences and I love reading, so it was beautiful seeing her fangirl over her favourite books! Plus it was another rare scene that chose to focus on Hana for herself rather than what she could give the MC. I honestly wish she got more scenes like this!

3 and 4. Cordonian Waltz (Book 1 Chapter 7)/Patisserie Scene (Book 2 Chapter 10): I put these two on similar levels because while the focus is primarily on a skill, or on getting something for a task, Hana's feelings and her current dilemmas are given equal time and space to be explored too. The first half of the waltz scene is Hana teaching the MC, but it's followed quickly by the story of her broken engagement and a hint that she wasn't very into men. And that's the biggest takeaway from the scene. The Patisserie scene uses the religieuse as an excuse to further explore Hana's issues at the time...and cleverly uses sweets to help Hana decide what her directions in life could possibly be. For once the MC seems to focus more on Hana - actually asking her questions and helping her - than on what she can get out of Hana.

5. Proposal Scene (Book 2 Chapter 18): Clearly this works more if you're marrying her than if you don't - but I do love the free scene that preceeds it, and how poignant it is that the two are actually free to love each other.

Special Mention to the McDermots Scene (Book 2 Chapter 15) for its showcase of "Hana's happy dance" on a chair.

Hana's final Book 1 scene would have merited a mention here for that clapback at Olivia alone, but the team themselves pretended like it didn't happen after that, so I don't love that scene as much anymore.

LI Scenes

Now these are different in that they're scenes every LI gets, but with variations unique to that LI. A lot of Book 3 LI scenes weren't all that different in the beginning, but that was something they changed over time. Here are my favourites from those:

1. Engagement Photoshoot (Chapter 2): There is an amazing character moment here with an arc that sadly was dropped after this scene. Hana worries about whether she may become her parents and speak over the MC, and is reassured on that score.

2. Wine-Tasting At Castelserraillian (Chapter 7): I hate this scene overall, on principle, but there's yet another moment there that I love. Hana speaks about knowing the technicalities of the way wine tastes, but never really being sure whether she likes a vintage. Another lovely character thread that wasn't really picked up.

3. Costume Gala Scene (Chapter 10): You get a rare look at her Cordonian heritage, when she shows you a ritual that her grandmother (not the same one who made the cheongsam, I'm sure - but I don't think PB ever gave this much thought) taught her, which involves throwing copper, silver and gold coin into a fountain ("for friendship, for love, for belonging").

4. Taking About Children in Valtoria (Chapter 15): By now I think the team managed to make some decent variations between the scenes post hiatus, so this ranks pretty high among the post-hiatus ones. Hana speaks about her desire to be a mother eventually, and her fears as well.

Scenes I hate that involve Hana and I would never recommend:

- Paris Runway Scene (Book 2 Chapter 8)

- Shanghai Night Market Scene (Book 2 Chapter 12)

- Vegas Tour Scene (Book 3 Chapter 16)

- That Goddamn Gift (Book 3 Chapter 17)

- BertVannah's Proposal (Book 3 Chapter 20)

- Most of Hana's character scenes in Book 1 Applewood coz they hardly put any effort. She basically was treated like persona non grata there sadly.

- Hana's character scenes in Book 3. They didn't put much effort in those either and those were the ones where I had the "we're using her" feeling the strongest.

- In retrospect, every single scene that focuses only on her skills and nothing else.