#but they kept bitching everyone was against them for nothing blah blah blah so full of criticism and bs

[masgwi]

City ppl who move to the country to "escape city drama" when they were the cause of their city drama kindly fuck right off and leave country folks alone with your bullshit

[andvys]

stubborn love part 8

warnings: angst, violence

pairing: Ellie Williams x reader 

You woke up to the feeling of soft lips against your neck, a hand gripping your waist, sighing at the feeling you turned around, facing Ellie. 

“good morning.” she whispered, smiling at you. 

“morning babe.” you blushed, thinking back to last night, when you realized you were both naked under the blanket.

Ellie chuckled at how flustered you'd gotten, “you are so cute y/n.” she smiled, pulling you into a hug.

“so are you.” you told her, grinning when she started protesting. 

You pressed a kiss on her neck and laid your head on her chest, enjoying the quiet morning with her.

“so who are you patrolling with today?” Ellie asked, slightly worried that you'd have to go on Patrol with Alicia again. 

“group patrol with Joel.” you replied.

“you finally agreed huh?” she chuckled.

Joel always asked you to join him on the group patrols he was doing, he usually took a few people into the small towns near Jackson, keeping eye out for infected or hunters but he would also let the people check out the old stores there and let them take a few things back.

Group patrols weren't really your thing and you didn't feel comfortable enough, going on patrol with people you barely knew but you finally agreed, you couldn't say no to the poor man any longer, plus you trusted him, so at least he was there.

“yeah I couldn't resist his puppy eyes.” you said making Ellie laugh.

“puppy eyes? this man is anything but a puppy.” she chuckled.

“no.. I'm sure he's a puppy, look at him, he looks warm and fluffy.” 

Ellie laughed even more at your words. 

“You wouldn't say that if you knew him before coming to Jackson.” she said, gripping your waist tighter.

“hmm okay whatever you say.” you sighed. “who are you patrolling with?”

“Jesse. it’s just a short route, I’ll be home before you.” 

You chuckled, “oh so you can start cooking dinner.” you teased knowing how much she hated cooking.

“y/n, I don’t want you to die because of my horrible cooking, I can make you a sandwich though.” she laughed, running her fingers through your hair.

“I'll accept the sandwich.” you smiled, kissing her neck, she squeezed your butt in response, earning a slight groan from you.

You looked up at her, noticing the smirk on her face. 

“we still have some time.” she suggested, leaning down to kiss your lips. 

“hmm, let's make the best out of it then.” you winked at her.

She grinned at you before grabbing your face to kiss you.

-

“hi.” you greeted Joel, who was by the gates with his horse.

“mornin’ kid, how’re you doin’?” he asked, smiling at you.

“i’m good, you?” you smiled at him.

“me too, i’m happy you finally agreed to come with us.”

“yeah it was about time.” you chuckled.

“you can bring back a gift for your girlfriend.” he winked at you before getting on his horse when the rest of the group arrived.

You blushed, you and Ellie never really talked about what you were. It was obvious that you were dating, you just never discussed labels.

“yeah.” you laughed before getting on your horse as well.

-

You were riding side by side with Joel, the other three men who were with you, were riding behind you. 

The air was fresh and you enjoyed the smell of fall, the slightly cold weather gave you a comforting feeling. Fall has always been your favorite season. You loved it when the leaves started turning orange and yellow and you could just wear Ellie’s big hoodies and flannels without having to take them off because it was getting too warm, like in the summer. 

“Ellie never shuts up about you, you know?” Joel said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You looked over at him in surprise, you didn't know that she was talking to Joel about you. 

“don't look so surprised kid.” he chuckled at your facial expression. “she always asked for advice.” 

Furrowing your brows, you asked yourself when she told him about having a crush on you.

“I- since uh when?” you stammered, blushing slightly.

“well she talked about you right from the start.” he said, smiling at you “and you were the only friend of her’s, that she was telling me about.” he pointed out. 

You smiled at that thought, you knew there was a time where she didn't talk much about anything to anyone, so you were surprised to find out that she was talking about you. 

“she loves you y/n, don't ever doubt that. no matter what might've happened between the two of you before that.” he told you, giving you a reassuring smile.

You smiled back at him, appreciating the way he was talking to you. Ellie was basically his daughter, so this conversation could've gone way differently, he could've been stern about it but he was nice and supporting. 

-

Once you'd gotten to the small town, everyone went into opposite directions. This place was relatively safe since groups would come back here all the time to clear off any infected so you didn't have to worry about running into a small herd or anything. 

You've never been here but you knew that Ellie came here with Joel occasionally. She probably got you that flannel from one of the old stores here. You were surprised to see that the houses and stores here weren't as run down like they were in other places.

You walked into a store that seemed to look like an old gaming store or something of that sort, you looked around and saw that most of the shelves were still full. If this was a gun store, you would've never found the shelves being full. 

You looked through the games and found one that Ellie and Jesse have been talking about a few days ago, you put it in your backpack, along with a few comics. 

You kept going through all the other stores, putting some stuff in your backpack that you could find useful later for whenever you had to go out on patrol. 

You heard footsteps behind you when you were about to walk into an old music store, turning around you saw Joel heading your way, some blood splattered on his clothes. You furrowed your brows and looked at him in concern.

“what happened?” you asked, eying the blood.

“a couple of infected made it into one of the old buildings, no big deal.” he told you. “you found anything kid?” he asked.

“I haven't found any infected. no.” you answered, causing him to chuckle.

“I meant, you found anything for yourself?” he smiled.

“oh!” you laughed “yeah, some things for Ellie and uh some knifes?” you chuckled. 

“and here I thought you'd go and find yourself some pretty things.” he chuckled, shaking his head. 

“..well, I get Ellie a bracelet.” you shrugged, feeling a little flustered. 

You've never been in a relationship before so it was new to you to show affection for your girlfriend in front of others.

“that’s nice kid, you should get yourself something too.” he said, squeezing your shoulder before he walked past you. 

“yeah..” 

-

Ellie just got back home from patrol with Jesse and parted ways with him to go home. Right when she was about to get the keys out of her backpack she noticed that her door was open. 

Furrowing her brows, she looked around in confusion, she could've sworn that she closed it when she left this morning and she knew you weren't back yet and even if you would've never left the door open.

Pushing it open slowly, she wasn't expecting someone to stand there. Especially not her.

“what the hell are you doing here?!” she grumbled, throwing the door open, she walked inside. 

Alicia turned around and chuckled, holding Ellie’s journal in her right hand while her left hand held a polaroid picture of you.

“I love her so much, no wait, I am in love with her. she is the most beautiful girl that I’ve ever seen in my life, she’s like the sunshine after the rain, anytime I'm with her, I forget about every worry that I have. I wish I could just tell her how much I love her.” Alicia read from Ellie’s diary. “blah blah blah.” 

“You really are pathetic Ellie. You loved her so much and yet you were with other’s all the time, that doesn't seem like love to me.” she said, glaring at Ellie. “you don't deserve her.” 

Anger poured through Ellie at her sight of her and her words. “and you deserve her?” she scoffed.

“yeah, I’d be much better for her. I could actually treat her right.” she shrugged, smirking at Ellie. 

“yeah right, you fucking crazy bitch could treat her right?” Ellie laughed, causing Alicia to clench her jaw at her words.

“you are so fucking stupid, you don't even get that she never liked you do you? As I have told you before, you were a distraction and now you won’t even get the hint that she wants nothing to do with you.” Ellie said, shaking her head.

“shut up.” Alicia mumbled, gripping the journal tightly in her hand.

“she loves me and if you think that she would leave me for you then you're even dumber than I thought.” Ellie told her as she was feeling the anger building up in her. 

“she doesn’t have to leave you if you're gonna be dead.” Alicia said through gritted teeth, throwing the journal on the table next to her, she pulled a knife out of her pocket.

Ellie looked at her in disbelief, was she really gonna kill her and think that you would date her after killing Ellie?

-

“You and Ellie should come over for dinner this weekend.” Joel said, smiling at you. 

“that would be nice!” you smiled up at him “I could attempt to bake something.” you suggested, scrunching up your face, when you thought about the first time you tried baking and almost burned down the kitchen.

Joel chuckled and patted your shoulder “don't worry about it, I remember the story about the cake.” 

“don’t reming me, that’s kinda embarrassing.” you laughed. “but hey, I can still try, you’re never supposed to give up right?” 

“that’s right, kid.” he smiled at you “alright, well you and Ellie have a nice night yeah?” he said, pulling you into a hug. 

“you too Joel.” you smiled, hugging him back before you pulled away and went over to Ellie’s house.

As you came closer, you heard the sound of glass smashing, startled you ran towards the door, noticing that it was wide open. 

You ran inside, finding Alicia choking Ellie on the floor, both were covered in blood, the room was a mess, broken glass was laying on the floor, along with a broken table. 

Alicia was about pick up a piece of broken glass, presumably to try and kill Ellie but you ran over to her and send a hard kick to her face, knocking her off. Ellie gasped out for air weakly, you pulled her up into a sitting position, noticing all the blood that was running down her cheek from a cut, she looked like she was beginning to fall unconscious.

You turned around quickly when Ellie looked behind you, barely keeping her eyes open, to see Alicia getting up with an angry expression on her face. “y/n..” she mumbled.

Rage filled you at the thought that she tried to kill Ellie, you got up and pulled your backpack off throwing it to the side. 

Alicia looked at you, “you have to understand y/n-

“shut up!” you yelled at her, as you pulled your gun out of your holster and pointed it at her, causing her to gasp at your action, clearly not expecting it. 

She looked like a mad woman, with her long hair in front of her face, blood dripping down from her nose, she looked way worse than Ellie but it didn't matter, she almost killed her.

“you don’t get to come here and touch what’s mine.” you grunted at her, as you put your finger on the trigger.

She clenched her jaw at your words and put her hands into fists “you never gonna love me will you?” 

“you expect me to love you? especially after this?” you scoffed at her, shaking your head.

She let out a grunt before she emerged towards you, startling you. You pulled the trigger, the shot went off but she managed to push your hand away at the last second, dodging the bullet that went straight into the wall. 

She smashed the gun out of your hand and grabbed your shoulders, throwing you against the wall. 

Right when she was about to punch you in the face, you dodged her fist and threw a punch at her instead making her stumble back in pain, you grabbed the glass that was standing on the kitchen counter and smashed it against her face, breaking it in the process. She let out a yelp and touched her face, grunting at the pain. You could feel the broken glass, piercing your skin open but you didn’t care at the moment. 

You started running towards your gun but she recovered already and grabbed your hair, pulling you back, before you could react, she threw a punch at your face and let you fall to the ground. 

“..fuck.” you muttered, crawling away as you saw her walking towards you, you quickly turned around and started to get up but she grabbed you from behind and threw you against the dresser, you tried to catch yourself but it was too late, your head smashed against it, you didn't even register the pain at first but then you felt warm blood running down your face, you could hear a loud ringing in your ears and you began feeling lightheaded, you fell to the side as your vision began to blur. 

You could hear footsteps coming closer to you, you tried to keep your eyes open and to move but you were unable to do anything. 

“this is all your fault y/n.” 

her voice sounded so close and yet so far away as you started to black out. 

the last thing that you heard was a gunshot before you fell unconscious. 

[sweeethinny]

Reputation - Look What You Made Me Do (Chapter 5)

this time it didn't take me so long :) I had difficulties with the ending but I think I managed to finish it in a decent way (thank to @harrys-wheezys who help me, saying about how the war had changed them, and they realizing it :))

keep commenting, i love reading your opinions 

AO3

-------------

I don't like your little games Don't like your tilted stage

''Look what they wrote about us!" Harry looked at her, a little still tired from the morning sex round, his brain soft and with little ability to understand anything but Ginny's naked breasts, right next to him ''Harry Potter , 32, Order of Merlin blah blah blah, was seen chatting animatedly alongside another ex- Holyhead Harpies player, other than his wife, Ginny Potter (or can we call her Weasley again?)'' Ginny turned her head to him, a little too furious for nine on a cold Sunday morning "Terry is a lesbian! And she knows it."

''Why do you still buy this?'' Harry yawned, cuddling up to her chest, smiling at the softness of her breasts, better than the pillows, as he felt her nails on his scalp, almost driving him back to sleep.

''Why do I need to know what they are saying about us?'' He knew it wasn't really a question, so he kept quiet ''Forbidden romance is a hell. They've been separating us for years now, do you remember that about our marriage?'' 

Rita no longer wrote alone, now she shared the gossip podium with Beau Miller, a man no one really knew where he came from, and seemed to have won people's hearts more for his beauty than for the work itself.

'' ..Of course, what he writes is pure shit ' Harry grunted angrily, throwing the newspaper into the fire and watching it burn, irritated that he said that about Ginny ''They said she has kept me under the love potion .. Ginevra Weasley! The woman who knows very well what it is to have no control over yourself while someone else manipulates you like a puppet, would make me drink love potions! ' Harry clapped his hand on the table, suddenly feeling like he was on edge. .

He thanked for being alone.

''Is the future Potter keeping our chosen one under a potion? ' Harry feigned a very forced accent, his hand on his chest while blinking pompously into nothingness ''To hell with 'Our Chosen One' ''

It was just as irritating how much they got into their lives, saying filthy things about the two, making silly assumptions about betrayals, love potions, and even a teenage pregnancy - the picture of Ginny with Teddy in her arms gave them that.

Harry was so tired, especially now in the week of their wedding, where he was so nervous and upset that he thought he was about to fall to the floor with a heart attack. And it made it worse that Ginny was in France with Fleur, for something about her dress.

They always made him look like a fool, and Harry definitely hated them.

And it was with this resignation that he left his office, marching furiously to the building where the Prophet was.

 The role you made me play Of the fool, no, I don't like you

 ''How to forget? I think Beau is still scared of me'' He laughed nasally, hugging the woman's waist and burying his head more in her breasts ''But it wasn't just me who did it, if I remember correctly, in your seventh year you also lost the head''

''She caught me on a bad day'' Ginny defended herself

 It was supposed to be a calm Quidditch Final, at least it was what she expected.

She was prepared to face Ravenclaw with all her blood, determined to win and make use of all those training sessions under the rain and mornings that had barely emerged. She would win.

Harry being there, helped a lot too.

''If we win .. '' She said when the two met in the locker room still empty, for just one conversation.

"When you win," he said, kissing the tip of her nose before listening to her again, with all his attention and affection.

But then there was the press, as usual, and Rita Skeeter was there too, asking about silly stuff.

Ginny was on the edge, missing her stupid boyfriend who got bogged down with jobs until he missed the last trip to Hogsmeade, afraid to lose, eager to have scouts in the audience who would assess her potential to the last drop, judging her good or not for her team, nervous about the exam of her NIEM's next week .. It was so much, that having Rita distorting her words was not a real desire.

That smile ... Ginny was so eager to take it away.

I don't like your perfect crime How you laugh when you lie

''But Mrs Weasley, have you been playing just to impress a certain person? ' That had been the question after Ginny had scored 8 goals in less than an hour, and helped Gryffindor to win the Cup and being an incredible captain, being quite modest.

Of course, because everything about her was always intertwined, in some way, with Harry.

With little patience left, she decided to smile sarcastically as took the feather in her hand and kneaded it until there were no more pieces left, approaching the woman in a very unfriendly way, which made her startle and take two steps back, cowardly

''Yes, and I've been well rewarded for that. As you can see .. '' She waved her notebook with her wand, making it burn and end up nothing less than dust on the dirty floor of the locker room ''I'm great with my hands''

You said the gun was mine Isn't cool, no, I don't like you (oh!)

 ''You're really good with your hands'' Harry kissed the one who was resting beside him on the bed, also kissing her finger with their wedding ring, feeling the cold gold against his lips

''Thank you, I got better with time... You are lucky that I don't mind all these intrusions, because I already received some invitations to run away from you'' The man laughed, lifting his chin to look at her, green eyes playing fun

''I can't even believe what made you stay'' Ginny shrugged, smiling and running her nails over his shoulders

''Your fortune, of course''

 ''Ginny Potter getting married out of interest?

That's right wizard world, the Quidditch Team's great player,  Holyhead Harpies, received a marriage proposal from a Puddlemere United Team player, which we were unable to identify. And he claims that Ginny Potter told him that she will only marry Harry Potter because of his fortune.

More information on page 15.''

''Does the man say that but they don't know who he is?'' She snorted ''She loves to make me look like a disguised bitch'' Harry barely looked up from Ron's letter, drinking his coffee and wondering if he should get a piece of cake or cookies.

''She does it because she knows you read and it hits you ' The bride turned like a rabid dog towards him

''Hit me? Please, Harry! I am furious that they do not destroy the image of a man who proposed to a committed person, but make up this shit about me .. I'm sure that tonight she will be there'' The Ministry party, the one that the two tried to make up any excuse for not to go, but that in the end, he had been obliged to attend. ''Do you know something? I will use the diamonds you gave me. And I'm going to buy a new dress.'' Ginny got up from the table

''I thought diamonds would be for special occasions'' He joked, still not looking at her

"And isn't that special?" He risked looking at her; her cheeks flushed like fire, hair up in a quick bun and his shirt as pajamas ''Wear your expensive suit too. We will be the most glamorous couple of that idiot party'' And then she left, stomping firmly and still babbling curses along the way.

 [...]

''How I look?'' Ginny came out of the closet, and Harry started to wonder if they really needed to go to that stupid party, or if he could invent a disease that made him stuck at home.

She was stunning, the dress was golden and long, falling very close to her body and with straps so thin that he didn’t know how they didn’t split in half, a straight neckline that made her breasts look so stunning it was like he was 17 years and be embarrassed to see them. Her hair was tied in a neat bun, the diamond earrings matched the ring he had given her last month, delicate but shiny like party globes. Her lips were blood red, her eyes painted black and gold that made Harry forget the time she had spent in the bathroom.

''Wow'' He blinked a few times, watching her approach and fix his tie, blinking innocently and laughing

''Thank you my love, you are also beautiful ..'' Her hands smoothed the suit well aligned, seeming to approve that he had listened to her and put on the expensive piece ''I loved the gold buttons, they really make a great pair with my dress'' Ginny put her arm through his ''Can we go, Mr Potter? I need to parade with my rich fiance around.''

''I never felt so happy that I was being extorted'' They laughed, finishing getting what they needed before apparating to the Ballroom who were told it would be the event, identifying themselves at the entrance and smiling at the first camera that appeared , ignoring all the looks that some gave him "I come back from the dead, but what they care about is whether my future wife is about to kill me to keep my fortune or not .. "

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

''Because it sells more newspapers when they talk about a selfish bitch'' Ginny faked a smile ''Look, everyone commenting about us.' The circle of journalists seemed about to burst with excitement when they saw them coming in, ignoring anyone else more important that it passed them, seeming to argue about who should go to the couple first

"They must be arguing about what you had to do to get these earrings"

''I hope they're being creative .. Just a blowjob wouldn't pay'' Harry laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist and bowing a little - she was on heels, they weren't so different in height now - to whisper;

''But I wouldn't mind buying you jewelry for every time you have your mouth full ' The woman blushed, biting her lip and looking at it boldly

''I'll have an arsenal of them then'' Before he could make any further comments, their names were called, and Rita Skeeter was right there in front, smiling from ear to ear

''Mr and Mrs Potter.'' Her false tone got to make Harry sick ''As always; admirable'' Rita blinked a few times at the diamond in Ginny's ears, almost approaching to assess the jewel ''It would be an honor to have an interview with you, there are several fans who are dying to know more details of the wedding of two such important...wizards'' She looked up and down at Ginny, as if assessing whether she was worth it that much.

Because, she was always Harry Potter's girlfriend, and nothing more. Forget her career as a player, and all her other merits.

''I can only say it will be luxurious'' Ginny commented, as much as it was a lie ''Nothing more'' She smiled falsely ''And even, I remember putting your name on the list'' Rita seemed to be excited, eyes and puffing out the chest

''We have an extensive list, you see, but we don't forget you'' Harry assured

''It's a great honor-- ''

'' --The list, of course, forbidden people'' The redhead smiled from ear to ear ''Now, if you'll excuse me ... ''

I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! Look what you made me do

 ''She spoke shit of our marriage for a week'' Harry sighed ''I have never been so sad''

''She made me do that'' Ginny shrugged. ''That dress really made me beautiful. I hate you for tearing it up'' She slapped her husband on the back, who was laughing against her warm skin.

''You didn't look angry when I did that. In fact, I remember you groaned a lot. We had complaints from neighbors underneath''

''Living in a building was the worst idea ever'' Harry nodded, getting back on her chest, smiling at the feeling of being at home. ''She asked me for help\ last week''

"Who?"

''Rita'' Ginny laughed ''Maybe that's why today's story, she must be mad since I refused to help her''

I don't like your kingdom keys They once belonged to me

 ''Me and you?'' Ginny spoke a little disappointed, looking at the empty room and then at the woman in front of her ''I work at the sports session, Rita''

"But I need you to help me, Chudley Cannons has this new player and .."

'' ..I won't intercept them for you, do your dirty work alone'' The blonde nodded, looking unexpectedly like a demon from those muggle movies she and Harry had been watching

''My job is not dirty, Mrs Potter, it is as worthy as yours'' Ginny laughed, staring at her with an even worrying calm, seeing that lying red face in front of her ''We should unite here, be solidary with the other.''

''A job that consists of being invasive in the lives of others and making up lies, is not a worthy job, Mrs. Skeeter'' The last name looked like poison on her lips ''The last time I helped you, my name ended up in a not so friendly story about a naked photo of me that they had taken and were trying to sell around ... It seems that you didn't think much about the 'female sorority' before launching the article defaming me''

''I don't invent anything'' Ginny nodded sarcastically, turning away and heading back to her work area

''I'm sure not ... But thank me Rita, for not writing gossip'' Then she looked over her shoulder, still seeing her standing there ''I would have great topics to comment on''

 You asked me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast (what?)

 ''I think they're going to fire her ... Beau has also been walking the tightrope for the past few days'' She dropped the newspaper, lying on the bed and coming face to face with Harry, rubbing his face and sighing tiredly ''Not that I care, it's just Karma''

''Definitely'' The husband kissed the tip of her nose, then the cheeks, until he reached her mouth, smiling and winking still a little sleepy ''The guy who sold the photos is still in prison. I went to Askaban yesterday and saw him, he looked a little crazy and upset when he saw me. The guards say he started having nightmares about me killing him.''

''Urgh, can't this family stay away from the drama for even a second? If Beau listens, you can be sure that tomorrow is the first page dedicated to that. "Harry Potter, the savior of the wizarding world or a torturer of defenseless poor people?"

''He's definitely not a helpless poor. And he's lucky that I didn't find him, because I would have left him with more damage than just a cut on his shoulder'' The green eyes darkened, and Ginny knew he wasn't horny ''They treated him so lovingly I even thought they would give him they own bed for him to spend the night ... While you can't leave the house for a week!''

''It's an unfair world, babe'' And as if that still didn't torment her, Ginny kissed her husband, relieved by the feeling that ran through her, as if the tension had evaporated away and only the two existed

 The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma

 ''But I have you, my great savior'' She kissed him again, less deeply this time ''Some guys told me I deserved it ... You know, for whatever shit they believe I did. Michael met me on the street and said it was just me reaping what I planted.'' Harry rolled his eyes, sighing and seeming to control any instinct to leave their bed and go after each one

''I hate them so much'' Ginny nodded ''Last week a trainee made a joke about your poster is on the bedroom wall, facing the bed. I don't think he wanted me to hear'' His wife laughed, throwing her head back and happy that he could break the tension ''I'm serious, he affected having seen death''

 '' ..I leave it facing my bed, because you know, don't you? Lonely nights and everything'' Harry took a deep breath, already being spotted by the freshman's other colleague, who was as white as paper looking over the boy's head, his eyes wide.

''If you continue like this, only what you will have will be lonely nights'' Then his malicious laugh stopped, and Harry even doubted that his breath was gone.

''Erm .. Sorry, Har ... Mr Potter'' The boy turned around, looking much more like one of their children when they were caught tampering with something where it shouldn't have been, not as an auror in training.

''Not that you should apologize to me, it wasn't my ass that you were using as an aid to wanking ... But hopefully next time, it will appear in your mind and leave it soft enough to not want to play for a week'''

 And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure

Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

''He's still not looking me in the eye'' Ginny was still laughing, trying to contain the noise so as not to wake her children but looking almost impossible

''I really hope he saw your ass instead of mine .. Not that yours is ugly, I love her'' She kissed the tip of his nose, reaching down to squeeze the naked flesh ''All round and perfect'' Another kiss

''But it wasn't the one he wanted to see'' Ginny nodded, letting her be hugged ''I'm sorry for all this meddling''

''You don't have to apologize for anything, they're the ones who are fucking invasive. I accepted that life back in my fifth year, when you kissed me, and it wouldn't change a single point of my decisions '' The two looked at each other, Harry looking much more naked than he really was, blinking those beautiful green eyes in her direction, with a slight smile on his face

''I love you ... even if you are just here to steal my fortune, or if you are looking to get away with someone else ... ''

"... Or that I'm keeping you under the Love Potion?" Harry laughed, nodding

''Yes, I still love you so much'' Ginny smiled, even after all these years, still blushing shyly

''You look so romantic after I fuck you good'' He shrugged

"That's what they say ... But they say a lot, they already said they couldn't trust me when I was only 15 years old."

'' ..And today they use your opinion as a guide'' Ginny reminded him ''They always seem so sorry when you talk about the war'' Not that Harry talked much, but there was always a lecture here or there, and rather intrusive questions on the anniversary that marked the end. ''Rita always seems sorry about that time, but I never know if it is because we discovered her cover or just because there is a little humanity in her ... Anyway, I don't trust her at all. Not that she trusts me too much, of course. ''

I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me

I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

Harry laughed softly, running his fingers over her cheek and outlining his wife's face, as if he wanted to frame her to never forget. Ginny took a hand on her cheek, kissing the scar he had acquired in the fifth year, as if to prove that they were there now. Better. Alive

''The date is coming ... What will they all write this time?'' Ginny shrugged, interlacing her fingers with his and approaching her husband, wrapping her bare leg around his waist

"Some shit that will make somebody cry and say 'he was just a kid!' while they congratulate you and frighten our children'' Our children, it was one of the things he would never tire of listening to. Harry chuckled, relaxing against her, laying his head back in the middle of her soft breasts, being surrounded by that heady scent that he would never get sick of.

''Isn't it crazy to think that Teddy is already so big? We're getting old ''

''Oh, don't say that too loud, magazines love to remind us of that. Last week a magazine said I should cut my hair again to 'look younger'.'' Harry laughed, running his fingers over the red strands that were on the pillow, not as long as when they were teenagers, but not as small as when she was played, but still incredibly beautiful.

''We're not the same anymore, are we?'' She doesn't need to ask what exactly he was talking about. The war had changed everyone, but Ginny and Harry would never be forgotten about their changes, even if she cut her hair and he let his hair grow, there would always be a gossip magazine reminding them who they once were. Students leading a movement against the Ministry, teenagers having to deal with things that not even an adult would handle well, among thousands more.

''It would be impossible to be'' She smiled a little colorless, before her maternal instinct warned her ''James woke up.'' And the alone and comfortable moment was over, the two of them picked up their fallen pajamas by the bed and they dressed at impressive speed, much faster and more prepared than when they were young and didn't want to be caught by Molly. Her mother was much more understandable than a 7-year-old son, under locked doors

They would never be the same again.

I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now

Why?

Oh, 'cause she's dead! 

 ''Good morning, mate'' Harry unlocked the door when the little one knocked, waving him to come to bed with them, as he knew it was his wish

''Morning'' he murmured sleepily, still looking sleepy, scratching his brown eyes and crawling on the sheets to stay in the middle, laying his head on his mother's chest like a baby, before going back to sleep calmly. Ginny kissed his slightly sweaty hair and hugged the small body that was now glued to hers.

''How long until the other two come too?'' She whispered, laughing softly as ahe tried to hear if there was noise from the other rooms as well.

''A few minutes'' Harry didn't look sad ''We can still run away ... We took them all and we were gone for a week'' Ginny laughed, denying and using her free hand to ruffle her husband's hair

''You could never do that'' She unmasked him ''But we can get away after an interview, I know the kids will love it ... ''

 [...]

When the day came, there were, as always, reporters, cameras and people everywhere. It seemed that they never got tired of questioning every morbid detail of what the trio had been through in those years at Hogwarts.

But before the second interview started, Harry simply apparated with his whole family out, leaving everyone gaping when the six Potter (because Teddy would always be a Potter) simply disappeared, waving to the journalists before landing at the beach house of them, not far from London, but hidden enough that no one could find them.

"Tomorrow this will be on the cover of magazines" And it was.

''I do not care. They forced me to do this.. Ask about all the shit I went through? I do not care. Tease the kids?'' He waved to the kids running from Teddy who claimed to be a monster, laughing and screaming loudly, looking a lot less tense than they did a few minutes ago, when five journalists surrounded they to ask questions. ''I don't accept'' Harry would never let them take away their peace.

 ''Harry Potter, the wizard who saved the world or just a man in need of attention?

Harry Potter, 32, First Order of Merlin, Chief of Aurors, attended the Annual Anniversary Meeting of the End of the Second Witch War, with his wife Ginny Potter, his sons James, Albus and Lily Potter, as well as his godson Edward Lupin (known like Teddy). After the first interview (see more on page 15) the wizard who saved the world looked irritated when some questions started to be asked, and simply apparated the whole family out.

What does the editor of this newspaper think of this? Of two things, one; does the wizard who saved the world need attention and need his name back in the tabloids, or is it just a way to make everyone forget the possible betrayal he committed (see more on page 18) last Friday? ''

Look what you made me do

[hunnyb-san]

"Miraculous season 3 ep 26: Miracle Queen" reaction

Ok, there is really too mucg to be said.

This episode made me cry more than the last one, if that's possible.

Anyway, it's late and I'm tired because I've studied all day, and this episode took all my energy away.

So, there are soo many point... I think it will take a lot. This is not the Miraculous we all knew. This is a new, beautiful thing full of angst.

I need fanfictions.

Anywya, let's start.

1) Kagami and Adrien

I've chosen to talk about them first so then i can go ahead and forget about this.

And here, let's consider two different cases:

Objectively: Kagami never had friends, she just started hang out with them and actually she has only Adrien and Marinette, and for the first she developed feelings that go over simple friendship. Yes, she said that love is more important than friendship for her, and she acted like a bit-

But, we have to consider that she has never had people of her same age if not to fight.

In the other hand... SHE IS THE WORST PERSON EVER. I MEAN, WHO IN THE HELL SAY THAT LOVE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FRIENDSHIP EVEN IF HE IS A FOOL WHO NEVER HAD... EVEN IF IT IS CHLOE.

OMG WHEN SHE SAID THAT AND SHE ACTED LIKE THAT WITH ADRIEN, THROWING HER HAND AT HIM!!!!!! MMMHHHH, THIS FUCKED BITCH.

But I think that this "relationship" will help Adrien waking up because everyone in this episode understood that he his SO MUCH CONFUSED AND TIRED THAT I'M conflicted... I love Adrien and god, that poor baby got rejected so many times from Ladybug, but how can he be SO confused? Didn't he love Ladybug? Is he giving her up? Why is he trying with... with the ice queen (Mari named her this)?

2) Luka and Marinette

Ahhhhh these two. They deserves the entire world!!!

Luka is a wonderful boy, because even if he fall in love with Marinette, he's okay with staying near her like just a friend.

He is there to comfort her when she cried, knowing it was because of Adrien. And he is even Adrien's friend. Luka never blamed him or Marinette, and even if his feelings are strong, she always come first for him.

He is amazing because when she was hurt, he didn't try to take a step forward, he just stayed there, hugging her.

Not like Kagami, who see Adrien confused and try to persuade him anyway.

And Mari... well, after I've seen her cry in the last episode, I can't stop thinking about what she said, about having too many responsibilities, not beeing able to be herself.

Beeing Ladybug is not only a positive thing, and she can't even talk about it with her friends. Especially now, that Master Fu lost his memories, she'll have to count only on Tikki.

This will be so much stressful for her.

Anyway, even if right now I want the both of them to be happy, I'll never stop shipping Marinette x Adrien because they are perfect for each other.

3) LadyNoir

Well, their relationship is a bit cracked right now because of that... that shitty little brat and many other things.

Chat Noir is spacing out from her because he is hurt, confused and wgatever, and she noticed it. She got jealous, cause yeah, that was jealousy, over him not calling her My Lady (OMG they are so DUMB) and flirting with... Ryuko?

Well, her name is not important right now (and it will never be).

But she has noticed it and tryed to understand why. At the end, nothing was clarified.

In this episode, Ladybug and Chat Noir had one of the most beautiful moment until now.

Because really, this is SO much going on here.

This is a totally wholehearted and beautiful hug. So beautiful that it makes me cry.

Behind everything, they trust each other, they are a team, they love each other unknowingly - and they'll laugh/cry so hard when they'll find out each other's identity - and this scene makes you understand all that.

They don't have to love each other - but they'll do - to be in sync, they are perfect, you can absolutely see that fron the FIRST episode of the FIRST season.

They don't need words, they complete each other and they'd do everything to make the other happy.

Why are they so dumb???? 😭

4) Papillion and Mayura

Who is Emilie?

Okay no, I'm just joking. But how can you not ship these two after everything? The way Mayura passed out between Papi's arms! I've laughed so hard at that.

When I see them, miraculous become a drama.

"Gabriel, I'm ready."

"Are you sure, Nathalie?"

"Never been so sure. I'd do anything for you, my love."

"What?"

"What?"

Ok no, seriously, I ship them, but I need Emilie back, because Gabriel will just keep friendzoning her.

5) Master Fu and Ladybug (guardians)

Ok, I know that I said I have cryed in every sentence of this post, but gosh, who didn't cry when Master Fu gave up is power as guardian to not reveal Ladybug and Chat Noir's identity?

He made many mistakes and WE know it, he is possibly the reason why Emilie got hurt or whatever so that Gabriel used the Miraculous of the Butterfly.

But, let's just say, that with this, he proved the affection he feel towards Marinette and Adrien.

He lost his memories to save them, to protect them.

And Marinette is now the new guardian!! I'm so happy!!

And about this: that thing in which there are all the miraculous, is she going to hide it in her room? Because, well, good luck.

6) Chloe and Papi

I hate both of them.

Chloe disappointed me so much, you can say she had her reason, she was unhappy, Ladybug's attitude towards her didn't help, but she betrayed her anyway.

Ladybug gave HER the possibility to change things, to prove herself, she trusted her more than a time, but she left her side to go to Papillion's (that I'll just call papi).

Papi is mean, so freaking mean. He is a really good antagonist.

Who else would be ready to sacrifice all Paris and ignore his only family member left, to save his wife?

I know he is suffering... but does he know that if he use ladybug and chat noir's miraculous to save Emilie, he will end up losing someone near him? Or maybe not, but I highly doubt that.

And I bet that this someone will be Adrien.

7) Adrinette

After this episode, I saw everyone comment videos with the same words "Lukanette is gone".

And I'm totally against it.

This is the perfect final no one wanted because it hurted too much, but it is perfect to give a new start point.

Marinette fall in love with Adrien because he gave her an umbrella to excuse himself, and she understood he is sweet, caring, kind, selfless and blah. But WE know that Adrien, the Adrien we and she see in every or so episode, isn't totally the real one. Because if he was, then who is Chat?

Chat is someone nearer its true self than Adrien, because with that mask, he feels free to do and act as he pleases without being constantly judged.

Even if he has the worst villain father, he tryes to not disappoint him.

Same goes for Adrien: he fall in love with Ladybug because he saw how beautiful, strong, bold and badass she was. But she isn't always like that. She is clumsy and she can't even talk with her crush because she gets flushed, awkward and begins to stutter.

He doesn't even know her that well, so its just good if he starts to know Marinette a bit better.

If it didn't end up like this, with the wonderful Luka and the shitty little bitch, they'd have kept loving just a part of the other self.

We have to be patient (like the song "The Wall Between Us", that I know they published now for this. Astruc likes to play with our hearts.) and wait until they love each other entirely.

They'll have to show us things like "Marinette or Ladybug?" And "Adrien or Chat Noir?" Or I won't be happy.

Just kidding.

So, my friends, let's not forget that Adrien and Marinette, just like Ladybug and Chat Noir, are meant to be together.

[angelwonderlandworld-blog]

i love you

words:

summarize:jessica has been through many obstacles that changed her life in ways unimaginable but she's not the poor innocent young girl they used to think she is a strong woman with a bright future ahead of her working as her boss assistant in this great company what could be better.but what happens when her boss gets “sick” and his son is the new boss until he gets better .but he's  one of the obstacles that had hurt her when he used to say she was his everything that he loved her but left her when he took the one thing she protected the most.but does she know the real reason why he left will she forgive him 

warning:explicit   

“jessi did you  hear that our boss is sick and his son is here right now as the new boss until he gets better but might i tell you he is sexy as fuck like i never seen a kind of species like him I'm pretty sure he's not from this planet your so lucky i wish i was you your gonna be with him everyday if i was you he could take me on the desk and we can-”i hear one of my close friends min-ho blabber out 

“ewww omg min thats nasty first of all and omg what wrong with mr.firminpel is he okay why didn't no one call me when did this happen he was fine yesterday please tell me he's okay ”i say while having a mini heart attack

“calm down he called the office this morning  saying he wasn't coming because he dose’nt feel good and  he dosent  want you to worry that hell be back soon that his son is gonna take care of everything but he didn't say what was wrong i don't think its that serious because before you even worked here  he had a very bad heart attack and his son was here but he looked miserable like as if he lost something i actually felt sad but he was like really ignorant ”she said

“oh wow “i say praying that my boss is okay

“jessi are you almost here i need my coffee I'm going to turn into a zombie if your not here in 10 mins I've been watching zombie shows this whole weekend and I'm starting to think I'm a zombie oh and you have to go out with the boss son he got weirdly happy when rachel told him that your his dads assistant and a sexy mysteryious smirk came on his face when she told him your going to be his assistant  i think he knows you or something but he's 20 years old a year older than you and he's just beautiful bro ”min says while making weird sounds that  i think are supposed to be zombie sounds. 

“I'm almost here I'm stuck on a red light and i have your mocha latte don't worry you won't become a zombie yet friend and I'm not dating him he sounds like a complete creep i don't want any man I'm fine alone they just ruin you he's not even that special ”i say while beeping at the car in front of me who stopped suddenly to shout profanities at the car who passed him 

okay then i say while making a turn just to see the polished enterpise were i work come into view but its crowded with a bunch of people holy cow.

“uh min are you still there may i ask why is there so much people outside“i say while pushing my sunglasses down to the brim of my nose to get a clearer view trying of  whats happening.

“I'm telling you the boss son is here and i don't clearly know what he does but everyone is going crazy over him I'm  pretty sure i saw a women throw her underwear at the window eww “min says making gaging sounds 

“can i go back home please” i whine while parking my car

“no your suffering with me”min saids laughing 

“I'm here see you inside okay “i say while hanging up and putting my phone  inside my purse  i take the coffee holder put the coffee on it get out the car and lock it making sure to here the beeping sound meaning its locked i walk around the sea of people to the back entrance of the building and go up a flight of stairs not wanting to go to the front to take the elevator already hearing the caos on the first floor 

i press the button to my left which opens the crystalized door in which i remember  bumping  into  too many times i chuckle lowly to myself as i walk by the receptionists table she looks at me and  rolls her eyes at me wow ok back at you bitch she then looks at me up and down and proceeds on talking to her friends about the boss son what the fuck they are like 40  i finally make it to my friends cute little office as she engulfs me in a hug 

“your here i was almost turned into  zombie almost ”she saids taking her coffee and sitting back down on her chair

“min i don't think it works like that “i say laughing 

“ok bye see you later zombie“i say blowing her a kiss

“oh man you have to go already oh yea your late to your new boss and have fun I'm praying for you guys to be a couple please god please what if this is like fifty shades of grey ”she saids winking at me 

“uh ok min no zero to the no nothings going to happen “i say shaking my head really dreading now  going to my boss office to meet his son

i close the door before she can say something else and walk to the elevator on the floor which is much quieter  no gossip nothing oh but i was wrong as soon as the elevator opened  theres two staff women talking about him i debate on weather waiting for the next one not wanting to listen about him anymore .

but i get in I'm already late its 10:53 and i was supposed to be there  20 minutes ago how great .”oh he's so cute i heard step son blah this man is blah blah blah”what is wrong with everyone i say as they finally get off on the fith floor the doors close and my journey to the last floor continues with people coming in and out with new gossip.  the door finally dings open to my floor i get off  along with this new intern girl who’s talking on the phone with someone and says lowly as she goes the opposite way of where I'm going “this slut is so lucky she's the boss assistant” i stopped in my tracks as fury started building up inside me

 don't do anything just forget about it i said to myself already sick and tired of this sick ass bullshit of the boss son. i keep walking  to the north wing of the floor and end up face to face with my boss office door as my hand is ready to push open i feel a weird fiery feeling rush to the pit of my stomach and something telling me to turn back but  i push everything aside and go in  through the big double doors.

i look at the center of the enormous room searching for the so “famous boss son “  i see the table thats always full of papers where i always stayed up organizing them .and there he is sitting on the chair facing the beautiful to die for  view of the city not allowing me to see his face

“your late” he saids cold as ice 

“yea i know I'm sorry i was stuck in-”i stopped when the so highly talked about boss son turned around only for it to be my first love the one who left me a gasp fell from my lips

“hello again my queen i missed you “he said 

“what- fuck you” i screamed as tears started rushing down my face as i remembered the day so clearly i turned around to leave but stopped 

I'm sorry for disappearing there was a family emergency my step dad mr.firminpel your boss was really was sick during that time i didn't want to leave after the wonderful night we had  but he had a heart attack and my mom didn't want me to contact you she said all these bad things for me to never see you again but you moved on i went  to your parents house you weren't  there i asked your parents and aunts even your brother but they refused to tell me where you where but i never stopped looking for you baby i never touched another woman as i promised you .i never showed you my step dad only my real dad so thats why you didn't know i was his step son because i wasn't talking to him at the time. i found out it was you when you where talking to him on the phone about some plans. he talked to me about you everyday  since the day you started working in the company and i fell in love with you more and more i know Ive hurt you and i regret doing it everyday because if it wasn't for you  i wouldn't of changed please believe me your my queen i love you.”he said looking at me with his ocean blue eyes  studying my face sadness written all over his face waiting for an answer

i was speechless everything  in me believed him all the pieces where coming together but it was too much to take  in i didn't know what to say all these years he's back i didnt want to believe him did he really change is he saying the truth.

“please say something “he said his voice breaking at the end as he started walking toward me he took my face in his hands and wiped my tears that kept falling uncontrollably he looked at me his touch felt like fire she didn't know how much she missed his touch until now and then he kissed me and i felt a force of electricity ignite through me as his lips moved so good against mine but i couldn't kiss him back it wasn't right i said my mind and body  not agreeing with me at all.

“baby I'm sorry” he said as he put his forehead against mine and caressed my wet cheeks  

he then hugged me  tightly and whispered sweet nothings in my ear my stomach clenching at every word he said .and then i did the one thing i promised myself not to do all my walls i built collapsed and i forgave him 

“its okay” i said giving in and wrapping my arms around him tightly hiding my face on his chest 

“i missed you so fucking much baby you don't even want to know your never leaving my side never“he said taking my face in his kissing me harder as our lips moved in sync his tongue slipped inside my mouth and it was like a tongue battlefeild  

“everything I've done I'm gonna make it up to you until the day i die  baby your my queen “he said kissing my cheek lightly

“your so fucking  beautiful”he said giving me wet kisses all over my face moving down to  my neck sucking lightly receiving a low whimper from me 

“baby let me make it up to you”he said sucking harder on my neck

“lucas here we can't-- “ i moaned out as his hands travelled up my legs  

“jump”he said slapping my ass lightly

 i jumped and he carried me to the desk pushing all the papers to the floor he sat me down and hovered over me

“baby we can't do anything here this is your dads office what if someone comes in and on the fucking table noooo “i say shaking my head as i put my hands on his chest trying to push but  failing miserably  what am i doing  

“don't worry no one will dare to come in ok  I'm firing anyone who interrupts us oh fuck  your so sexy when you curse baby i never thought you would curse ” he said holding my face and giving me hard  a kiss on the lips my hands travelled to his neck and in a swift motion i turned around and  hovered over him .

now i was sitting on his lap  ”I'm not the same anymore daddy”i whispered sexily as i bit the lobe of his ear

“fuck baby”he said in a sexy growl gripping on to the edge of the table his knuckles turning white 

“your so fucking sexy I'm  murdering that sweet pussy  I've been to long without you baby ”he said bitting his lip as he looked down at me hungrily

and then i was back under him as he kissed me and touched me his hands moving to my neck gripping me lightly as his other hand moved down to my shirt unbuttoning my shirt groaning when he got stuck in one and ripped it off

“lucas”i whined as my favorite shirt landed on the floor

“ill by you a new one baby”he said kissing my lips sliding my skirt  off my legs  he ran his cold fingers down my legs making me shiver and my core drip wetter than it already is for him my shiny heels fell with a loud thud to the floor 

“oh baby “ i moaned gripping on to him 

“baby i love how you get so wet for me “he said sliding his slender fingers up and down my covered wet core 

he leaned down and bit the tip of my lace underwear pulling it down with his teeth earning a loud moan from me

“oh fuck you smell so good” he said as my panties landed on the floor he stopped and took of his tie and dress shirt as i admired his hot toned built chest he smirked and opened my legs wide and put my legs on his shoulders. 

i was now moaning uncontrollably without he even doing anything. 

“he started kissing my wet core as he slid one of his long slender fingers inside me curling them inside my wetness and that was just his finger imagine his big- oh fuck i said biting my lip as my head fell back on the table gripping on to his head as he put another one of his fingers in me 

“Lucass” i whimpered pulling on his soft curls he looked up at me his eyes turning darker every second  

he started lapping up my juices as if he has never eaten in his whole life 

“ahh shit- fuck luca-” my mind was going crazy but my thoughts where soon interrupted when i heard a soft knock on the door. 

“baby uh lucas stop theres someone at the doorr-”i moaned trying to move his head away but he just moaned making me tremble from the vibration that caused his tounge  and then it was too late and the door shot open…

to be continued…

[metahuman-misadventures]

Cisco x Reader - Acrylic Aftermath

I’m sick of looking at this one, so it’s getting posted.  Now that this is out of the way, I can get back to that smut request that will be just as long, if not longer than this one.  

Description:  Reader is a meta that’s lost her powers and her brother, Cisco takes it upon himself to help her move on.

Timeline: Meh.  It's vague.  Just roll with it.  Season 2?  Post Season 3?   Mentions Harry, cause why not.

Rating: T-ish

Warnings: Angst, hurt, comfort, friendship

Notes: Because the idea of “Y/N” and “L/N” stuff takes me right out of a good story, I like to insert a random Reader name.  Today's Reader name is Kelly.  Feel free to copy/paste/replace with whatever name if you need.  I won't take offense.

Word Count: 3949

--

“Not home, don't care.”  With a mouthful of chocolate and a sigh you answered the phone and hit the speaker icon before setting it down on the armrest of your faded blue couch.  

There was a few seconds delay before Cisco's voice responded.  “Okay, A, I know you're home.  I'm looking at the GPS location for your tracker right now.  And 2, if you didn't care, you wouldn't have answered.”

With a wrinkle of your nose, you set down the spoon you were holding and poked at the spot in your forearm where the small microchip was implanted.  “How do you know I didn't carve it out, hmm?  I have plenty of sharp knives in the kitchen.  Maybe I just up and Jurassic World'd that bitch.”  

“Yeah, that's disgusting.  And you're the one who suggested I put it there, what with the blackouts... and stuff...” his voice trailed off, like he was suddenly sorry for bringing it up.

“I was having a mid-life crisis.  You shouldn't have listened to anything I was saying.”

“You're 25.”

“Yeah well, the average lifespan for this little team is getting shorter every year.”  There was silence on the other end and you closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the couch, instantly regretting your words.  “Too soon?”  You asked, but didn't bother waiting for a reply.  You laughed bitterly and then had to bite your tongue before it could turn into a sob.  

“Y'know...Maybe I should come over?”  Cisco didn't acknowledge the question, which was probably for the best. “We can watch The Goonies, eat some junk food, paint each others nails... Just like old times?”

You idly glanced at the worn down, chewed-up remnants of your fingernails and felt the start of all the emotions you'd been pushing down the last few months threaten to well up again.  Back before 'that day' happened, as you called it in your head, you'd always kept your nails looking gorgeous.  New acrylics every few weeks, fancy polishes, glittery tips, sometimes the occasional nail art.  

Then your brother had died and you'd stopped caring.  The acrylics you hadn't already painfully picked at on the days leading up to the funeral had finally all fallen off, and after that, you'd started biting your natural nails down to the quick, a habit leftover from your childhood.

It had been almost four months since you and the rest of Team Flash had buried him, and you'd tried to move on.   To say it was 'difficult' was an understatement.  And everyone had said they understood and they had felt the pain of loss before... they'd do what they could to help you get through it... blah blah blah.

But they didn't understand.  No one did.  When you lost your older brother, you lost part of yourself... literally.  The night S.T.A.R. Labs nearly exploded was the night you and Keith had become bonded with dark matter; it created a link between you... and not just thoughts and emotions.  The Entity you could form, merging two bodies into one; becoming a being more powerful, stronger and faster than a normal human.

You'd only been working with the Flash for a few months when 'that day' happened.  A telekinetic blast from a raging metahuman had caused you to lose concentration and you and Keith were torn apart, your bodies flying in opposite directions.  You'd landed on soft grass with barely a scratch.  Your brother...

Closing your eyes once again you could still see his body hanging from the crumbling concrete, the jagged edges of two pieces of rebar slick with his blood.  Some nights you still woke up screaming, the feeling of the phantom steel piercing your heart.  You had felt his life force draining away and with a guttural scream you'd flung yourself toward him, already well aware that you wouldn't reach him in time to reform.  

The physical body the two of you became was strong enough to return from near death, and if you could have just gotten to him in time...

But you were mere seconds too late, and your fingers had grasped at dead flesh.  You'd tried to be angry at Barry for not seeing what was happening until too late.  You'd also tried to be angry at Cisco for not opening a breach that would have gotten you there faster.  But down deep in your shattered heart, you knew that the only one you could truly be angry at was the meta now sitting in the secure wing of Iron Heights.

After the fight, someone had pried you away from Keith's body, you weren't sure who and it didn't seem important to ask after the fact.  Your mind was blanking out, almost like a glitch.  You could remember flashes of memory, a few seconds here and there, like someone was turning a light switch on and off in your head at random intervals.  

It took a full day for you to come back to yourself for any real length of time.  They told you it was like your body was on auto pilot in those blank spaces.  Without someone to watch and guide you, you would just wander aimlessly, vacant eyes looking at nothing and not responding to touch or sound.  Caitlin had run the tests and while you didn't really understand the complexities, you knew there was something very wrong with your brain.  It was just... shutting down randomly.  Losing the link to your brother so viciously had ripped out some essential parts that were needed to keep it running smoothly.  

By the grace of god, you were lucid enough to remember bits of Keith's funeral, though Cisco had taken it upon himself to make all the arrangements.  You didn't have any other family you were close to; Keith was it.  So there hadn't really been too much that needed to be taken care of.

They buried Keith in a small cemetery on the north side, next to your parents.  Someone said a few words, someone placed some flowers on the casket...  someone must have driven you home.  It was all a blur.

Without Keith, there was no Entity.  You had no power.  You didn't even have the brains to be helpful.  At least Keith had been studying biometric engineering.  At 17, you'd dropped out of high school three months before the rest of your class would graduate and started working as a server in a cafe; the only job you'd ever known.  And now you couldn't even do that.  And so, Cisco had placed the tracker in your arm, and then outfitted your home with some sort of scanner that wouldn't open the door to let you out without an eye scan and verbal command.  It kept you from wandering.  

The implant would also alert Cisco's phone when your heart rate and blood pressure dipped, signaling that you had slipped into a blackout, just in case you weren't at home and needed someone to come find you.  It had been happening less often, but still enough to be a problem. Less than three times a week if you were lucky; and on a good day you'd only blackout for a half-hour or so.  Good days were few and far between.  Driving was out of the question, as was holding down any sort of job.  Most days you spent at home, keeping yourself busy with old hobbies...  a hundred sub-par paintings hidden in the basement... boxes of half-knit sweaters and scarves.  Your brother's room was filled with hundreds of mini origami cranes... he'd always thought they were neat so you left a few in there every day.  

Everyone had tried to convince you to stick around S.T.A.R. Labs more often. They said they could find something to keep you busy, but you knew that it was more that the team wanted to keep you where they could see you.  You understood, they were your friends, the only ones you had left.  But every time you walked in the Cortex, all you could see was the empty spot by your side where your brother should have been.

So you stayed at home, roaming the halls that used to be filled with the voices of your mother, your father, and Keith; a different but more familiar form of emotional torture.  Delivery services brought you groceries and Cisco or Barry checked in on you when the blackouts started.  Occasionally Harry or Caitlin would stop by when the boys were busy, and you were gracious and courteous and the perfect host. You smiled at the right moments, told them you were doing okay, and let them give you awkward hugs when they left.

All of them could see through the facade.  You knew it, they knew you knew it...

“Hey... are you spacing again?”

“What?” You heard his words and realized that yes, you had been.  The worn down nubs of your fingernails were still staring back at you. “No, I'm fine.”

“Riiiight. I'm on my way.”

“Don't, Cisco.  Please.”  But he wasn't listening.  

“Too late.”  

The slight rush of air from the breach opening behind the couch caused your hair to float listlessly around your face and you sighed in annoyance, leaning over to hang up the call.  Not bothering to turn around and look at the portal, you reached over and picked up the bowl and spoon from where you'd set them down on the coffee table.

The blue glow that had briefly lit up your living room suddenly cut off and you knew Cisco was standing behind you.  “Isn't there some sort of superhero code against using your powers when it's not an emergency?” You questioned, dipping the spoon into your bowl and taking a large bite.

“Uh, have you MET Barry?  Using his powers when it's not an emergency is pretty much all he does.”  

You sat back and let your head fall against the top of the cushion, stretching your neck back until you could see Cisco looking down at you from behind the couch, his head tilted in concern.  “Hey.” You sullenly greeted him, resigning yourself to his company. Sighing, you closed your eyes.  “You really didn't need to come.”

“Well, you've ignored the invites for the last five movie nights, and you weren't returning anyone else's texts... and the whole spacing out again.”

“I'm fine.” Opening your eyes again, you watched as Cisco made his way around the couch to flop down next to you.

“Besides,” he continued, “I think this qualifies as an emergency.  You're sitting alone in your underwear listening to Sarah McLachlan at five in the afternoon eating... is that a bowl of brownie batter?”

“Triple Fudge, yeah.  You don't like me using the oven, remember?”  You looked down at your bare legs and wrinkled your nose in annoyance. “And, I'm wearing a tank top.”

He looked you over with skeptical eye and shook his head.  “Barely. Girl, you're about half an inch away from a nip slip.”  Cisco gestured with his eyes down at the strap of the light pink tank that had been sliding dangerously low off your shoulder for the better part of an hour.  “It's a good thing I've already seen you naked, otherwise I'd think you were trying to turn me on right now.”

“I was on fire that time. I had to get my clothes off.”  The memory brought a small smile to your face, but it was brief and bittersweet.

He was still looking at you, eyes running up and down your mostly unclothed body, but there was nothing suggestive in his gaze.  “You haven't been eating, again.”  It wasn't a question.  Cisco sighed and rubbed the side of his face.  

You held up the bowl of brownie batter in answer and took another bite.

“You can't keep this up, it's not healthy.”

“Says the guy who survives on burgers, soda and hard candy.”  

“Kelly...”

You hated it when he got that tone in his voice... the I-care-about-you-and-I'm-really-freaking-worried-about-you tone.  It made you squirm uncomfortably.  “I don't mean to... you know that, Cisco.  I just... forget.”

With the loss of your brother's consciousness, you'd also oddly lost some of your ability to feel physical pain.  Things still hurt... just not as much.  And you weren't really able to tell when you were hungry anymore.  Even with Cisco texting you to remember to eat a few times a day... you forgot.

“This is why you need to be back at S.T.A.R. Labs.  I can take care of you there.”  The two of you had had this conversation so many times, you'd almost memorized it.  But this time there was one subtle difference that you almost didn't catch.  I can take care of you there.   Not 'we'.  Not 'the team'.  I. He continued on, trying to lighten the mood.  “I mean... I suppose I could move most of the Cortex's systems here if I had to...”  He made a show of looking around your mother's beach cottage inspired living room; usually a bright and cheery room, but now dark and drab with the curtains all drawn and the lights off.  “All the wires and electronics might not quite go with the décor... but I can make it work.”   He gave you a smile that at one time had made your heart flutter, but now seemed only heartbreaking.    

“I'm not your responsibility, and I don't need you to be my savior.” You frowned and turned your face from his.  Refused to meet his eyes. Why couldn't he just leave you alone?  “Besides, I'd just distract you from the important things.”

“You don't think you're important?”  He almost sounded offended and you swallowed back a sarcastic response.  You were clutching the spoon and bowl tightly still, and you almost thought he would have reached to hold your hands if not for that small simple barrier.  

“Not anymore.” Your words were quiet... strained, and your jaw was starting to clench and tighten as you continued to fight back the emotions.

There had been a time... a moment between you and Cisco before Keith died...  The night before 'that day', a Team Flash movie night, when you'd sat with him on Barry's couch, one glass of wine too many, and you'd giggled and laid your head in his lap when sitting upright had seemed like just too much effort.

He'd placed a hand awkwardly on your shoulder, then eventually stroked your hair as the night wore on.  You didn't remember what the movie was anymore.  When everyone else had called it a night, Cisco had taken you home and grinned like a schoolboy when he walked you to the front door.  You'd said goodnight and thanked him for the ride... and then he'd grabbed your hand and bitten his lip.  You'd looked at him curiously, but he couldn't quite meet your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?”  The words had tumbled out of his mouth so quickly you almost didn't catch them. Certainly, you hadn't heard him right.  You weren't sure how he could stand there and look so nervous in his Star Wars t-shirt and faded gray hoodie, and yet seem so wildly confident.  

You'd stood there, utterly shocked.  It would be a lie to say you'd never thought about kissing him.. he was sweet and nerdy and funny... but way out of your league.  He and your brother could talk for hours, going on and on about sciencey things way above your head... you were a glorified waitress for god's sake, not to mention a high-school dropout.

“I know, I'm not really your type.” He'd continued, trying to look anywhere but right at you, probably afraid of your answer. “But I thought maybe-”

You'd cut him off with a kiss, perhaps a bit sloppy, but you were giggling against his mouth and then you knew he was smiling too.  It wasn't the passionate embrace of a Nicholas Sparks romance, but you could feel something there.  Something that was definitely worth exploring. When you finally pulled away from each other, you were blushing and laughing and everything seemed so perfect all of a sudden.  Another small kiss, and he had bid you goodnight with a brilliant smile.  

The next time he saw you, you were screaming and clutching Keith's corpse.

The two of you never talked about that kiss.  It was like it had never happened...  and maybe it hadn't.  There were a lot of things you weren't sure about anymore and perhaps it was just some happy hallucination your mind had come up with to fill one of your memory gaps.  Better to pretend that was it than think about the truth.

“Not anymore?!  How can you even say that?”  Cisco was nearly beside himself, gesturing randomly with one hand.  “You're important to me, to all of us.”   He pushed himself off the couch and started pacing trying to keep his voice calm. “When you lost your powers, you didn't stop being our friend, Kelly.”

You dropped the spoon into the chipped orange bowl and reached up to wipe away the start of a tear.  “I can't do anything, Cisco.  I'm just..  I'm useless.”

“You're not usel-”

“I AM!” Slamming the bowl down so hard on the glass that a spiderweb crack suddenly marred the otherwise pristine surface of your mother's cherished antique coffee table, you pulled yourself up from the sofa and turned away from him so he wouldn't see the tears.  You could feel it starting to bubble up.  The despair and pain, the feeling of hopelessness.  “I've lost everything!  I lost Keith, I lost our powers!    I'm not strong or fast or smart!”  You lashed out and knocked over a vase filled with long-dead flowers, a frustrated groan escaping your lips when there was no satisfying crash as it thudded to the hardwood but didn't break.  “I can't even leave the house without worrying I might not make it back by myself!  I don't know why you're wasting your time on me!”

“Kelly, stop.”  A hand touched your shoulder and you shrugged it off angrily.  

You ignored the pleading in his voice and stalked toward the kitchen, tears blurring your vision so much that you nearly ran into the door frame.  With a anguished cry you stopped, turning to brace yourself with both hands on the counter top.  The wetness falling from your eyes seemed to grow and it wasn't long before you found you didn't actually have the strength to hold yourself up.  How long had it been since you'd slept?  You didn't remember.  A day or two.  One more thing you didn't keep very well track of.  With a sob you started to slide to the floor, not surprised when Cisco caught you from behind and gently helped you down.  The old sea green linoleum was cold on your bare legs but finding the strength to care was proving difficult.  

Without saying a word, he carefully sat down next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you in tight.  Absolutely sure that you looked like a blubbering idiot, you clung to him and buried your face against his shoulder, trying to stop the hiccuping sobs that racked your body.  You hadn't had a good honest-to-god breakdown since the day of Keith's funeral and it seemed like this one was overdue.  Vaguely aware of him starting to whisper soft soothing words and the feel of his hands, one holding your arm, the other wiping away the trails of your tears, you continued to clutch at him, suddenly starved for the feel of another body close to yours.

Time trickled by, and you didn't know how long you'd been on the kitchen floor when the tears finally stopped.  Even after, when your head was still on his shoulder and your breathing evened out, he still just held you, murmuring gentle things against your forehead.

“Cisco?” When you were finally able to speak again, you weren't quite sure what to say.

“Yes, chica?”

“You know I hate it when you call me a chicken.”  The words left your mouth before you even had time to think about it, and you let out a strangled laugh at the end and tightened the grip on his shirt.  It was an old joke between the two of you, one that had evolved out of a slightly embarrassing misunderstanding.  Suffice to say, Spanish was not one of your strong suits.  “Sorry.” You whispered quickly and closed your eyes, your cheeks flushing softly.  

You could hear the smile in his voice though. “Don't be.  I missed that.”  He pressed a gentle kiss to the hair just above your ear and then gently bumped his forehead against yours.  It didn't seem like it was possible to snuggle any closer to him, but you tried to anyway.  The warmth radiating off of him was almost euphoric; it had been so long since you'd let anyone truly hold you for any length of time.

“I know you think you'd be a distraction... but it's worse not having you there.”  His words were soft and you sighed heavily, not ready to start this conversation yet again.  But you didn't have the energy to move, and if it wasn't now, then Cisco would only bring it up again later.

“But if I was there-”

“If you were there,” Cisco reached up with one hand and tucked a stray length of hair behind your ear. “I wouldn't be worried about you for every second of every day.”  The soft plink plink of your perpetually dripping faucet echoed through the otherwise silent kitchen as you tried to form a response, and he must have taken it as an encouraging sign when you didn't immediately argue with him this time.  “Look.... just think about it, please.  And I mean really, truly, honestly think about it.  We can start small.  Like... one day a week.  I'll order pizzas, we can play World of Warcraft when Harry's not in the room.  Besides, I seriously need my pocket healer back.”  He squeezed you a little tighter.  “You would not believe the randoms I've gotten stuck with lately.”  

Plucking at a stray piece of fuzz on the front of his t-shirt, you sighed and crinkled your nose in thought.  “Just one day a week?”  This morning you wouldn't have considered it.  But now, sitting here in Cisco's arms, having found a badly needed emotional release, you thought that maybe.... just maybe... you could try.  

“Just one day, little chicken.”

“Okay.” You whispered, trying not to immediately regret it.  

“Great, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at 8.”

“Tomorrow?” He didn't miss the nervous stutter in your voice.

“Yep. I would recommend wearing some pants.”  You pulled away enough to glare up at him, but found it was really hard to be mad at that wonderfully mischievous smile on his face.  “Or not.  I don't mind either way.”

“Y'know I don't have to heal your sorry ass.  I can just let you die.”  You forced the words out, trying for playful, but knowing that it just didn't quite hit the mark yet.  It would be awhile, you knew, before things felt right again... but dammit you were going to try.  You would try for him.  

He laughed anyway and for the first time since 'that day' a flash of hope found it's way into your heart; and you thought maybe... maybe someday you would be okay again.

fini?

I may or may not continue this one eventually... I've kind of fallen in love with this Reader/OC.  And now I want to see her and Cisco actually get together.  What do you guys think?   Anyone out there?  

[bang-me-bangtan-style]

CHAPTER TEN

WORD COUNT: 5239

The rest of the day you found yourself depressed. Sehun had got called into the office with Baekhyun, Kai, and Chanyeol. Apparently, someone snitched and now you weren't aware what was going on now. You just sat in free period and thought about back when you were friends with Sehuns friends. You were trying to figure out what made Kai catch on to your feelings for sehun, or whatever he though he knew.

You couldn't recall anything at all. You really thought you were really discreet with your actions towards your brother. If anything, you were always trying to push him away, and he would only pull back....

Damn it.

That was it. Sehun was so obsessed with trying to get you back in his life, that maybe that's what kai was talking about. It had to be right? If not, then you didn't know. You kept going through the motions over and over again trying to figure this shit out...

"Are you okay?"

It took you a moment to snap out your thoughts before snapping back into reality.

Luhan was sitting at the table with you. You were surprised he was talking to you again.

"yeah," was all you said because you knew if you said more you would breakdown again.

" I heard about the fight, and what they were saying, what kai was saying." he continued Looking at you awkwardly. Great. If you didn't feel like an experiment, then you did now. "I think everyone knows that shit isn't true. and that kai is jealous because you would never date him. "he laughed trying to get you to laugh but you just didn't.

To be honest you really wanted to go home.

"Ana it's okay, I'm still here I'm really sorry for going overboard with the Kris thing I realize that I was cruel to think you would have to pick between me or him. plus, Kris is one of my best friends I wouldn't want to ruin our group. we've been through everything together." Luhan said scooting closer to you grabbing you into a hug." I still love you though, but don't worry about my feelings best friend." he whispered in your ear. you pulled out of his embrace.

"No Luhan I'm so sorry I shouldn't of did what I did, it's all my fault," your tears were forming again. "I'm so sorry I asked you if I could spend the night and led you on like I did, and then dropped you like that night wasn't nothing." you say apologizing to him. the tears finally fell down your face. You also remembered why it was so hard to sleep with him. he reminded you too much of sehun. you just couldn't go through it without feeling dirty and wrong. because you knew if you would of went through with it you would of thought of sehun the whole time Luhan pounded you.

"Ana it's okay like I said. I'm okay now don't worry about it, plus I can tell something stressing you lately I don't want to make it worse." Really? he could tell you were and been stressed out? how did you have someone like him in your life? he was just so perfect. and if he didn't remind you of sehun you would of totally chose him instead of Kris.

"Speaking of Kris, you looked at Luhan. "Luhan, did Kris cheat on me?" you just needed to know. your eyes were piercing his and he looked away and you already got your answer.

wow.

You couldn't believe your asshole brother was Right. You didn't even try to hid the hurt on your face. And this time sobs came out and Luhan rubbed you back while he forced your head to his shoulder. "I'm not going to say that I would have been better than him if you had chosen me, because that would be wrong, but I will say that you knew how Kris was. You should of never believed what lies he told you."

And there he was your best friend was really back. him telling you like it is and was. The blunt Luhan you loved so much. But even if a person like you who loved his bluntness, could break, and you did. you couldn't even comprehend what Luhan was saying. it hurt really bad. not that long ago. you lost your virginity, two weekends ago to be exact and Kris cheated on you. but then again you weren't together so why were you even crying? did you really think he would stop his slutty ways even if he said he would. ha ha no that isn't the way how guys work sorry.

"Luhan I'm so stupid, your right I shouldn't of, just say it! I should of went with you. It wouldn't hurt so much." you grabbed on to his uniform. and he didn't seem like he cared that you were making it wet. "shhh Ana I promise to never leave you or hurt you again. I'm sorry I stopped talking to you for days." he soothed. And that was exactly how you spent you free period. Hurt crying with Luhan Oppa.

-

Lunch: you did what you usually did meet up with guys. Kris was waiting with Tao and them. when he seen, you come in with Luhan his eyebrows knitted together. "hey beautiful." really, he had a nerve.

"hi you said not showing any sign of hurt, and Luhan looked at you confused. but you weren't having this shit. you weren't going to hurt any More today or get embarrassed sorry but it just wasn't happening.

"noona why was kai and sehun fighting I thought they were friends." Tao asked. "kai was telling him I hated him and blah blah, then sehun punched him. sehun told him he is just mad because he can't bang me, kai then said unnecessary things that led people to believe he likes me more than a sister. and yeah. I got embarrassed. It was uncalled for."

"but does he like you more than a sister?" Chen trolled." I mean you are very beautiful I think all guys including your friends can admit we want to bang you-"

"yah yah! why are you saying such things to her! "Kris budded in. and why should he care? you weren't his so what if guys wanted you and fantasized about you. you weren't his property. Ignoring Kris, you snapped at Chen.

"no, it's not true so all you idiots can stop talking about it." Chen looked at you shocked at your bitterness in your voice. "yeah I might hate my brother but no one can talk shit about him unless they want to get hit only I can say shit about him." you said acting like you were going to hit Chen causing him to flinch.

"yah yah Arasso kkuman stop!" he said scared that you might actually hit him. When you relaxed he finally relaxed." god so moody these days." he commented. you finally punched him in his arm. "yes because assholes like you make me this way. "Kris put his hand around your waist and you stiffened. this bitch.

" Ana come here I need advice." Luhan said grabbing you in his spot. Kris just looked hurt. He eyes luhan annoyingly, yeah be hurt you bitch. "thank you" said to Luhan from saving you. you hugged him. "I owe you." you whispered." he pulled away no I don't want anything." I'll give you anything you want ask me." and he became stiff and awkward he must of thought of what he wanted. and you had an idea by the look on his face." lu-"

"I said I didn't want anything." he said with a smile. lies you knew what he wanted. "Luhan just ask me I'll give it to you. "you wanted to hear him say it. and hey maybe it would help you get you mind off things." no that's asking for too much I'm happy being here in your company. I don't want you being that way, wait for a while before dong that gain."

Sex.

you guys were talking about sex. but you were horny. Kris and you had stopped having sex days ago, and although you just lost it. You had this addiction all ready. And you'd be damned if you sleep with cheating Kris gain. you got up behind Luhan and you put your arms around his waist and you rested your chin on his shoulder. You pressed your full breast against his back and squeezed him.

" fuck me Luhan." you breathed where only he could here. Kris was staring at the back of you getting jealous.

Luhan panicked. how could you get away with things like this in school?

"no," he said trying to push you away.

"but OPPA I'm wet for you." you breathed in his ear.

Luhan's eyes widen. And his head swift around to look at you.

"yah yah kuman!" he said.

The other members looked at you two and you smiled while Luhan looked awkward as shit. You just couldn't help your addiction. You were always sexually frustrated and it wasn't your fault, it was Sehuns fault for being so sexy. so, the only thing you could do was sleep around with guys you weren't like slutty Kris, chanyeol and kai. no but the addiction wanted you to be. But you restrained yourself. and that why you were different from them sluts.

"you kept going," Oppa do you want someone else to have me or do you want to claim me as yours." Luhan had a growl in the back of his throat.

when the others looked way Luhan whispered as he wrapped his arms around you now. "babe why are you being so bad, you need to be punished. "and that's how you hooked Luhan in on your offer.

-

-

When you finally got to 7th hour sehun finally was out of the office and him and Baekhyun had walked in to history. You looked at Baekhyun and he gave you a smile before he sat down in the front seat next to Siwon. you turned to sehun.

"What happened."

"Don't worry about it!" he snapped.

He was clearly still pissed but you really want to know what was said.

"Sehun..."

he squeezed his fist under the table and you seen it. he was obviously trying to hid it but there it was clear as day he needed to hid it better.

"ANA LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" he snapped a Little too loud.

seonsaeng-nim stopped talking and everyone else turned their attention on the both of you.

"oh twins what on earth is going on back there."

sehun remained angry looking down from the class while you looked up at everyone embarrassed. when you both didn't say anything.

"I suggest you both pay attention you have a test coming up. save your bickering at home."

you looked over to sehun again. he finally had gotten his history book out and paid attention like the teacher said. so, to save yourself from getting in trouble again you did the same.

-

-

After class, you tried to avoid everyone so you could closely follow Sehun home, which he didn't like but who cares? when you both opened the door to your house you pushed at Sehun again.

"Sehun you can't ignore me. what-"

Sehun pushed you against the closed front door. You looked at him terrified he was so angry that you couldn't recognize him.

"didn't I tell you nothing!" he gripped you tight that it kind of hurt.

"sehun...ow."

"stop asking me that question, will you? aish." and he through you against the door. he started walking up stairs.

"sehun, kai shouldn't have said that, I know your angry, I was upset too but I know the truth. YOU know the truth." Lies. All those lies that came out your mouth.

he turned back around again and gave you a disgusted look. " don't talk to me will ya? were done. I'm don't want deal with you anymore. but it shouldn't be hard. you already told me a million times I'm nothing and that you don't want me in your life. let's start now get out my life."

"what the actual fuck what is this 360?"sehun what is your problem!" you yelled.

"YOUR MY FUCKING PROBLEM YOUR A PAIN IN MY ASS! YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL!" He once again aggressively slammed you against the door your head slamming with it.

you then pushed him and he fell back wards and you got on top of him hitting his chest. he pushed you off roughly and got up wincing at his leg up the stairs. you then pushed him again him falling forward on the stairs, but he caught himself just in time before he got hurt again. sehun turned around pushing you and you pushed back you smacking the shit out of him only for him to grab your hands which were shaking so viontly. he was going to hit you but he was restraining himself.

Sehun was lying on the stairs you were in between his legs being restrained by his hands which were itching to hurt you.

"do it sehun, do it" it was little above a whisper but he could hear you. He stared at you still shaking while he held both your hands in a fist. You stared back at him. "just do it sehun!" you screamed at him. He yanked you to his chest and he screamed in your face.

"ahhhhhh!!!!!!." he yelled in your face.

still griping your hands tightly." i hatttte youuuuu!" he growled.

he threw your hands away and you clasped on his chest and hit the wall to the stairway instead. And shook you off and he slowly went upstairs. you collapsed to your knees. He should have hit you. You deserved it.

You cried on the stairway.

an hour later.....

"Luhan come get me." you said as the phone violently shook in your hand. after that happened and you herd his door slam and you ran up to your room scared. you started shoving everything in your bag. Scaring you, your door slammed open and there it was.

"where are, you going!" he said yelling.

you ignored him and continued to shove things in your bag.

"noona!"

noona? you got caught off guards but before you could react sehun slapped whatever was out your hand and pulled you to him kissing you passionately. your eyes fell out your head. you stood there wetting yourself, the moment you've been waiting for. The forbidden and wrong feeling that felt so right. the shocks that went through your body made you weak. Finally, you responded to it. he pushed you down on the bed and ravished you. you moaned out and continued to make out with you. he kissed your neck all the way to you breast. he ripped open your shirt showing your bra. he left a hickey on the side of your neck.

between your legs, you felt your brother hard as a rock.so this, was it? Should you stop him? This was wrong! But why did you feel like this. Why did you feel like it was right? He kept kissing your lips biting and bruising them. he rocked against your womanhood. he broke away.

"noona I love you. more than I think I should." he breathed huskily against your ear. You happened to look in his eyes and you got shocked. he went alarmed at your facial expression. but the forbidden act wasn't what scared you. He pulled away. snapping out of it.

"oh, my god!" he jumped off you. "I'm sorry that shouldn't have happened. You looked at him again, his eyes were strange. why was he acting strange? was he perhaps on something...strange?

forgetting what just happened you pushed him against the wall. you looked into his eyes and you sighed. he was on some kind of drug. you wanted to cry as he continued to freak out.

"this I'm tho thorry thomthing wrong with me" he confessed his lisp coming out more than usual." I don't know what happened." he started to cry. "please don't leave me here by myself. please don't thtop talking to me noona." he called you noona he hasn't said that since early teen years.

(your 3 minutes older)

"noona please don't look at me differently. I would never do that I don't know what's wrong." you grabbed his hand as you pinned him against the wall trying to restrain him from getting out of hand, but when you grabbed it blood was everywhere. your eyes bugged out sehun keep going on and on and you couldn't clearly hear him. he was so far away as everything he was dealing with unraveled before you eyes.

cutting. drugs, whatever just happened. you should have realized how he would snap and be nice the next day. your brother was on some kind of drug you just didn't know what yet. "noona you hate me don't you? you want me dead." he said his eyes looked really black and it scared you and sent chills down your spine. he was gone this wasn't sehun. brushing it off you pushed him back again. You pulled his sleeve up and countless scars were up his arm. including the one cut so deep it was still bleeding. You pressed you lips together to stop from crying.

"they are ugly, aren't they? just like me? just like you said noona." chills and more chills kept washing over you the things that boy said. The things you found out he did. Your phone started ringing and you see Luhan pop up. you let go of sehun.

"what are you doing?!" he grabbed you aggressively. "you're not leaving!" he threw the phone it crashing against your hardwood floors. "noona I said don't leave! "you couldn't help but cry. in his aggressive hold. You created this, this was your fault and this was the outcome. he was more than a monster. this was a demon.

Sehun looked at your crying face and calmed a bit he finally let you go. "See!!! Look what you've done to me! Wae waee waeeee?!!" He said looking at you, practicality screaming in your face.

You ran over to your phone. Sehun became pissed. You quickly dialed an old number that was in your phone.

"Yobosaeyo?"

"Noona what the fuck did I say?!" He said throwing the phone. He grabbed you again and you screamed hoping the other person would hear you.

"BAEKHYUNNNNNNNNNN!"

"Why are you calling his name are you trying to fuck him too?! Noona please don't be a slut!" He was on top of you trying to get you to calm. But little did his drugged mind know he was the one who wasn't calm.

"Baeek..." you sobbed. "BAEHYUNNNNNNN HELLLPP!"

You could only prey Sehun wouldn't go to far as to hurt you. And Baekhyun heard you and still was on the phone."

You finally got out his grip and you punched him in the face. But it was like it didn't faze him. "Why did you just hit me." His face was red but he didn't seem fazed.

You ran out your room and you heard his footsteps behind you your heart dropped. And you ran into his room locking it just in time. You jumped when he banged on the door. "Yah!" He yelled. "Open this door! "

Suddenly you became in hysterics. You pulled your hair and jumped up and down as if to try and scare the pain away but you still found yourself crying because pushing Sehun away had only resulted into self-harm and drugs. Did you know what the outcome was going to be if you pushed him away at the time? no! But if you did you would have made yourself suffer instead of leaving him alone. And at this moment you finally realized you weren't the only one hurting. Sehun was hurting too if not more.

You could hear him crying on the other side. "sis please I'll be good. I'm sorry you have to see me like this." he said maybe coming down from his high. he was finally realizing his actions, which was god but you were still scared you wanted to ball up in the middle of his bed room. you turned around and looked towards his open bathroom door. going inside you seen what you wish you hadn't.

alcohol

pills.

and razers.

Needles.

There was blood on the floor and you couldn't help but want to take it all away from him. Seeing these it was only right to say your brother was abusing and depressed and it didn't take a scientist to know it was because of you. And seeing the alcohol and pills and possibly meth only resulted in more danger if he had mixed them. which he probably did.

Faintly you heard your name in a faraway cry. Sehun was still calling for you. And then the thought dawned on you. Mom and Dad would be back in the next few days. You had to keep this from them. You had to help your brother in every way possible. If they found this out they wouldn't hesitate to send him somewhere like rehab or an institution for his depression that they didn't know he had yet. And seeing his cuts would cause them to think he was suicidal and they would try and put him under license supervision.

You slowly walked out the bathroom and you heard a voice yelling outside his door but it wasn't Sehuns.

"Sehun what did I tell you!!"

slap.

was the sound of him getting hit?

"hyung it hurts so much I couldn't stop and I hurt her."

slap!

"hyung I'm so sorry."

You quickly opened the door and there stood that old friend. Byun Baekhyun. His hand was griped on Sehun's collar about to hit him again but you stopped him. "what are you doing!" you screamed. He let go of Sehun and panicked." I thought you were unconscious somewhere I was so scarred!!!" He screamed. Grabbing you into an embrace. Sehun fell to the ground after Baekhyun let him go and he wasn't looking so good. he looked really pale and clammy.

"SHIT!" Baekhyun ran to him, he panicked. Baekhyun went to check his pulse and he kept moving his hand as if he couldn't find it. And you started to became anxious as you stood over them. "it's barley there, it's really faint." you looked at his chest his breathing was very slow and shallow. "help me!" Baekhyun said standing up. "help me carry him to the shower. With that you both had carried him to his bathroom inside his room. When you entered Baekhyun about fell out. All the pills and the vodka was in clear view. And now that you looked at him again Baekhyun eyes were teary. ignoring what he just saw he said, "turn the water on in the shower cold." you hesitated. "now!" he screamed still holding sehun on his own. your brother was unconscious and it was really scaring you and from the look of Baekhyun it looked as if he knew what he was doing. so maybe this wasn't the first time Sehun has passed out like this.

Turning on the shower you ran back out to assist Baekhyun to carry him inside. now all three of you were inside. The cold water hit you making your cloths drench rapidly. "put him under." and with that you guys positioned yourself to get him directly under the water. your body was shivering and Baekhyun looked at you and you looked back at him. No one said anything. Sehun just lay unconscious and limp in both of your arms. You started to sobbingly cry for sehun to respond to the cold water. But he wasn't and you were freaking out.

"calm down give it a minute." Baekhyun said looking at you through the water. he was getting the most soaked since he was standing directly against the water with Sehun in his arms. Sehun was facing you but you were standing halfway under the water, under the shower head.

"This is my fault." you sobbed.

"Ana it's not your fault sehun is fucking stupid for trying to end his life again."

End his life?

Again?

"Yes, this was a suicide attempt Ana." he said bitterly realizing your surprised face. You lost your balance causing chaos in the shower. Baekhyun had to catch Sehun before he completely fell. "Ana!" Baekhyun called annoyed and you grabbed him and stood him straight. You tried to contain yourself and you bit you lip it almost bleeding. "Ana if he doesn't wake up in the next minute we have to take him to the hospital." he whispered in panic. ' no my parents will find out th-"

"we have no choice if he doesn't respond usually he responds by now!" he yelled.

"no sehun wake up!! seh-" you couldn't take this you broke down again and automatically you conscious started blaming yourself for everything.

It was your fault he chose this because you pushed him to be like this. You ignored him called him names and wished for him to die. And now that he was doing what you wanted you were crying? wow! who does that? and the best sister award goes to-

"Shut up!" You screamed at your thoughts. Baekhyun jumped and he was confused by your sudden outburst. But he didn't ask he was too concerned about Sehun. Baekhyun put his hand to his neck and tried for his pulse again to see if it was still beating, "Ana it's still slow and faint call 119!" you stood frozen not because of the cold water but because you were losing your brother." Ana now!! and holding sehun with one arm he violently pushed you out the shower you tripping and falling out.

You ran tripping over the open bottle of alcohol it spilling everywhere, it colliding with the pills. you ran out of his room into your room to look for your phone Sehun threw across the room. You found it underneath your dresser and tried to shakily dial 119."

"this is 119 what is your emergenc-"

"HELP." your cried your voice cracking." my brother sehun is dying." you cried.

"I'm sorry say that again what's the emergency?"

"MY FUCKING BROTHER IS DYING!"

" calm down. what is you location?"

"Seoul City Jung Ward, Taepyeong Street Section 1, Building 24-2 !"

"OK help is on the way."

You ran to the back to the bathroom and Baekhyun had dragged sehun,pushing everything to the side to try and get room for him to give him mouth to mouth." 12...13...14.....15....16....17....18...19..." he was pushing his chest up and down." 20....21..22....-" he stopped breathing. 23....24....25....26.....27.....28.....29......30" after 30 counts he stopped to lifted his head up and put his mouth to Sehuns to give him air. two time his chest raised and fell and he started all over again." 1...2...3....4..." and it continued like that what seemed like forever.

and you just stood there crying sitting next to them soak and wet, cold from the shower, and your butt was sitting in spilled alcohol but who cares you brother was dying.

all your emotions were sad and you didn't know how you would come back from this, or how he would come back from this. you need him to come back. you loved him too much. and if he died, apart of you would as well and you just couldn't handle that.

You continued to watch Baekhyun and you got up to see if the paramedics were here. You stayed down there pacing back and forth when you heard sirens. They stopped and quickly unloaded the stretcher and came towards your house. You quickly opened the door. police where here as well along with the firemen.

"Agassi where is the victim?" One of them ahead of the rest came in.

"Upstairs in the bathroom." You said. The rest of the team made it in.

"Alright upstairs." And the two guys with the stretcher followed orders.

The first guy stood there taking out his walkie talky." Alright dispatch the victim seems to be upstairs. I'll let you know further details in a moment."

You followed and so did he.

"no uh the next room." You said as they began to go towards yours.

"In here!" You herd Baekhyun yell.

You watched them in side and you and the head chief stood outside the door frame of the bathroom as Baekhyun continued to perform CPR.

"Dispatch it looks like the victim went into cardiac arrest, we are now at the scene about to take over and perform CPR."

"Okay after this set stop." The paramedic motioned for Baekhyun. he nodded his head as he continued to count to 30. as he did that the paramedic took out a device called an automated external defibrillator (AED) (it is used to bring the victim back to consciousness )

"Apply pads to bare chest plug in pad connector and push the flashing light." the machine said. And you watch the paramedic follow the machine orders. He started putting these pads like things on sehun chest.

" 28...29...30.." And again Baekhyun pulled his head up and breathed air in your brother two times.

" Analyzing heart rhythm." the machine continued. The paramedic told Baekhyun he could stop now and Baekhyun moved collapsing to the wall tired and dripping sweat. "Do not touch the patient." The machine said. Every one backed away from Sehun and all you could do was cry as you watch the scene.

The paramedic checked to see if the scene was clear. (to make sure everyone was safe and nobody was touching sehun,) "alright clear." he told the second paramedic." alright shock advised stay clear of patient deliver shock now and press the button." the machine told everyone. And when the paramedic pushed the button your brothers body jerked at the electricity sending wave like motions throw his body all the way to his heart. " Alright shocked delivered Begin CPR." the machine ordered. The paramedic started doing CPR. Just like Baekhyun, they did 30 counts of pushing up and down on your brother chest. then breathing into sehun to circulate air. This continued for about 10 minutes.

"Alright he is breathing we can prepare for transport." A paramedic said.

"Dispatch he is breathing and we can now transport to hospital." the guy said next to you.

You watched them pick Sehun up on the stretcher and strap him. They put an oxygen mask on his face to ensure he would breath properly. You and Baekhyun had moved out the way so they could quickly exit the house and take him away. Baekhyun held you as you cried on his chest. Because you just couldn't take the thought that something could happen to him and that you could lose him forever. You so wanted to take back everything you said. Everything you done. But it was too late because if you lost him now apologizing wouldn't even be an option. and that would be worse than remembering everything you did to him. And for that you could never fore give yourself.

[stray-kuroneko]

The trials on the set path part two

The struggles of life are endless. It is a odd feeling having someone travel with you. An extra person to tend to, I guess I don't mind for now. "Angel..." "Huh?" "For communication purposes I'll call you angel" "That name is stupid, makes things look like I'm holy or something" Part of me should keep relationships at arms reach, I never trusted anyone and right now I am questioning if I should trust crimson or not. No one is who they say they are and at a given notice they can change. "We should rest up soon..." "The next town is 10 miles can't we keep going?" "The path can get dangerous if we are not at full strength." I really want to keep going but he is right. After the episode I had I am still not at 100 percent. "We will rest off the path for now, no matter if we were on the path or not being out in the open we would be attack." "Let me look for a camp spot, beside the abyss is my home" Those words were actually said, I should have said was not is. I've been away from the abyss for some time. But as much as I have been away, surly nothing has changed. Or so I thought... We walked off the path to find shelter, not too far from the path but not in plain sight. "Odd of you to pick this spot over others..." "Problem?" "Being observant tis all..." I mimic "being observant blah blah blah" Crimson started a fire and we sat down to keep warm. The abyss is cold and cruel, they watch and wait for you to die. Laying on my back I stare into the blank sky. The moon wasn't out so it was pure darkness. My mind of course wander off in thought; why am I on this path again? Just stay here in the dark and wait for death. This journey means nothing and it is a waste of time. Just die, just die, just die.... My mind was going to explode let me make small talk. "Crim, do you think the past makes your future?" "Yes and no" "Of course you answer with both answers" "Think of it like this... you make a mistake and you know better then next time to avoid that mistake right? Well what if you didn't take the chance to make that mistake? Would you have known to not make that mistake and not try?" "Your answers are puzzling" "Rest angel" I dozed off and dreamed yet again... ............................ "Why do you bring these men here?" *slap* "Don't talk back to those who feed you..." "Have you no shame for yourself?" "You just don't get it" *sounds if whopping can be heard* "You will learn your place..." The feeling of the whip on all parts of my body, I cry... ...................... I woke myself up from that hellish nightmare. The torture that I endured all those years ago, they haunt me. I touch my back and I feel no fresh scars. It was only a dream. I have not been beaten since I ran away. The sound of the headmaster's voice makes my body shake. *rustle* I look up, the air feels uneasy and obviously it is too quiet. "Crim, we are being watched." Within a split second an arrow was shot directly to crimson. It came without warning, we were being watched this whole time. "You think you can get me that easy?" He had caught the arrow by the head, centimeters from his head. I jumped up "show yourselves" No one came out from their hiding place; "Headmaster demand your head." "Well then take it by force" my arms are up, a fight is about to begin. "Crim you ready, these guys want us dead" More arrows were being shot out of the sky and I dodge them. One of the arrows was able to pierce my shirt. "Ah, you bitch!" I looked and it was burning my skin. "Watch out those arrows have a burning agent on its heads!" I looked and I can see crimson's hand was already burning from the arrow head he grabbed. "This isn't good... we need to get the fuck outta here." "Angel move out!" We both ran out as the arrows kept coming. "Let's split" crimson said as we kept moving straight. "What? And where do we meet?" I asked trying to keep up with him. "We will meet back by the path but don't head straight there, try to loose them in the mean time. These guys won't give until they have your head." "Understood" That moment we ran until we saw a fork in the road and from there we split. I was holding my arm that was cut from the arrow head. I didn't know where I was going, I just had to keep running. While running I tripped over a root from the tree what bad timing on my end. Looking up I see a shadow, my eyes are full of dirt making my vision blurry. "Come kitty kitty we will take you back home" I felt a hand grab my hair and pulled me up. The pain from the hair pulling made me scream. I grab his hand to try to get him off my hair. "Aww what's the matter? Is this hurting you? This will hurt more." The shadow kicked my stomach in and with that force, threw me back against the tree. "You asshole, is that how your treat people?" My back was against the tree struggling to get up, that blow from the kick threw me off. Trying to use my feet to push my body up against the tree with all of my might, the pain is making my body stay down. "Nah" he laugh "Just those I have been order to bring back. You made headmaster upset, running away like that." My hand is looking for a rock to throw, I can't get up at this moment, I need to buy time. "Like she ever cared, she has other children to tend too, I was just a caretaker. I never matter to anyone why would she care now?" As I am talking I found a sharp rock and held it, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. It wouldn't kill but him but it will give me time to run. "What she wants with you is of no concern to me. I am just a simple bounty hunter collecting his bounty." It was now or never... "And to make sure you don't run..." a revolver was pointed at me. I am going to die. *gunshot* *scream* "Sorry kitty need to make sure you couldn't move." I was shot in the leg, the pain intensified. Not only was I in pain from the kick to the stomach, my back feels like it is in pieces, now I have a bullet in my leg. I kept screaming. *screaming* "No one is going to hear you. You should have.." *gunshot* A bullet glaze the shadow's cheek. "Wanna be a dick a shoot a lady? Well sir we are going to have a problem." "Crim!!!!" Screaming in pain "crim run, just run away!!!" I just kept screaming the pain was too great. "This is my bounty, get your own" The two had their weapons drawn and neither was going to back out. "Listen boss, let's just make it easy on me. Let us go and I won't headshot you." "Are you fucking kidding me?" The shadow shouted "No not really... " "Crim, they are after me, just run forget me!" "Yea crim, leave her to me and run off like the little bitch that you are." *gunshot* In a blink it was over, the shadow was on the floor with a bullet logged into his forehead. "Don't call me a bitch." "Crim!" "Let's get you to a hospital." "Crim, if bounty hunters are after me, going to the hospital will be useless. Let's find a rest spot so I can clean myself." The pain is taking over my senses, I feel like I am going to pass out. No I can't pass out now, I have to find a place to cut this hole open. We ran as fast as we could, limping, until we found an abandoned house. "There! Let's stop in there, they have to have the stuff I need." "Are you a doctor of some sort?" "Not really but I'll know what to do." We stop at the abandoned house. Looks like this was left alone years ago. Every corner you saw was covered in cobwebs, I'm sure there were other animals hiding. "Crim, sit me here." I wanted to scream the pain, it was too much to handle. My periods are not even this bad and well they are pretty bad. "Tell me what you need" I looked to the sink area in the kitchen, this place may be abandoned but I'm sure they have some tools left. "See if there is a knife or something sharp, next find a tweeter, needle and thread, and lastly and importantly.... find me scotch or a really really strong alcohol" "Man you are asking for way too much" "The important part is the drink" From search the house while I ripped a part of my shirt to wipe down the blood that's gushing out of the bullet hole. Even touching around it was excruciating. Tears are coming down uncontrollably, I was shot in the thigh for pete's sake. "Angel, I got the knife, the thread, still looking for a needle and instead of scotch I got you bourbon which I believe is the same" "Meh it's close enough, also look for a small fish hook." "What the fuck are you planning?" "I'm trying to live now hurry! I don't have much time left before I bleed to death" Crimson ran without haste, the blood is still escaping my body from the hole. I am covering it and apply a little bit of pressure, I came feel where the bullet it so if I put any more I would be able to pull it out. Am I really going to pull the bullet out myself? If I want to live I have too. I saw crimson desperately looking for the items I ask for. He really cares for me, I will be forever grateful for this. "Okay I got almost everyone, no tweeters." "Crim look by the counter again, are there any chopsticks around?" "Chopsticks?" "Yea you heard me, chopsticks" Oddly enough in the draw by the sink there were some old chopsticks. Now here is where I can see if I am am capable of the task of removing this bullet or lose it all and die. "Crimson follow my direction carefully, one bad move and I may die. If I pass out slap me. I have to do this..." "Understood" "First thing first see this rope, tie my legs down, I'm going to scream and kick. Next go burn the knife with fire. I'm sure the oven can still turn on" He did not question me on the rope nor the leg being tied up. But as I requested he tied it tightly. While he was burning the knife I got the bourbon ready. I took the fish hook and tied the thread to the end of it. The chopsticks were drench with bourbon. All was prepared and there I went for the bottle. I took the bottle of bourbon, dunno how long that has been here but it's now or never. "Let me test my shitty luck." Closing my eyes I took the bottle of burbon and just chugged it. Took a couple of glups until the dizzy feeling took affect. "Angel, you are nuts." "No, im just me..." I was drunk, my words were not coherent but I had to focus and explain what to do. "Crim, take that pointly thingy, and cut my leg." "Wait what?" I don't think he could understand me so I took the hot burning knife and cut a line through the bullet hole. *screaming* The burning from the knife, the pain from the bullet hole itself, the kick, everything. My body was going through pain that it never imagined. "Angel can you handle it?" I was screaming, my face was full of tears, I couldn't hold it anymore. I let out the loudest painful scream my body could let out. "Crim, my hands are not steady you need to take the chopsticks and get the bullet." I took the bottom of my shirt and put it in my mouth to lower the sounds of my screams. This is what it took to live, and I will see through this, I will live. The chopstick was in my thigh while holding my leg in place I felt the sticks go deep fishing for that bullet. "I think I found it." "Crim, the bullet can slip so pull it very slowly." He has to be so gentle with this, one slip up and it's over. The chopstick was being pulled out. Crimson's head was a waterfall and I felt his sweat hit my open cut. He was calm, quite, and in control. That is how you have to be when in certain situations or all hell would break loose. It can all be over before you know it. "I see it!" The bullet was out, I grab the little thing and threw it. I scream some more, not because of the pain but because the worst was over. I took a couple of more shots of the bourbon. "You are over doing it." "No, this is what will hurt more.." Puzzled at what I just said I took the thread and fishhook. Crimson walk away, he did had enough I might as well have died back there. I am about to sew my open wound close with a fishhook and thread. Who would think of this? Shaking I force the tiny hook into my skin. I screamed some more. The cut was about 6 inches in length. It would be as if I was fixing a hole on a shirt only difference this is my skin and I am feeling every hole I am making. I want this to stop is what my mind is screaming. Is this all worth it?