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#but this is just from light research so
fuzziemutt · 1 year
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The fact that Fritz's hand shakes with the gun when he comes out of the casket lives in my mind
A side effect of diazepam are tremors
But they're also a symptom of withdrawal.... Alongside sweating (pale skin), insomnia, and nausea...
And sometimes numbness
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oatbugs · 1 month
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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a bunch of people have already registered for my mentoring workshop! unfortunately this means i have to plan and host a workshop aaaaaa
#i want to think aloud through it on here at some point#but i think i am going to structure it around the theme of cultivating student autonomy#because i think one of the primary goals of mentorship is to prepare students to be self-directed learners who can set realistic goals +#evaluate their own progress + reflect on what they've learned and what they still don't know#+ take initiative without sitting around waiting for someone to tell them what to do next#so i think we will do some thinking around like#when we have a student we think of as really capable or driven what qualities and behaviors do we observe in that student#and maybe ill also share some of the research on intrinsic motivation + self-direction + locus of control#which i think is all really interesting esp in light of the contemporary College Mental Health Crisis concerns#and then we will look at a range of tools + structures + strategies that i think are useful for fostering student autonomy over time#and maybe leave them with some core principles/guiding values that i think are useful when you are trying to like#avoid jumping in and doing stuff for kids#or solving their problems for them#idk i need to think through specifics a bit more#but i feel like on this campus#people do a lot of 'workshops' that are really not interactive at all#it's just someone talking from slides#and i kind of want to show off my ability to structure more engaging workshops#but idk. gotta think about how to do it well#and how to build in lots of opportunities for like crowdsourcing strategies too
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birues · 5 months
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wip whenever
Tagged by @galadae and @coldshrugs ty both sm <3333
Emet-Selch and Tuana are having a convo about the Reapers and the Void. Which will later inspire Tuana to devise a very reckless plan in case she fails to contain the light.
“If you’re mayhaps done with being possessed by the beloved denizens of the 13th, dear Hero…”
A merry voice cuts through the Rak’tika woods even before Tuana feels the avatar’s presence leave– that cold, jittery cavity death could never satisfy. But it helps. Shrouding herself in the darkness from the blazing sun that radiates within her… helps. Even if it leaves her wanting to tear her skin apart afterward. 
Maybe it’ll be easier to get used to– if she fails.
Her dalliances with the dark are not for him to comment, alas when did he care? That is the man he is, walking through the threads of reality, offering scathing remarks and half-truths and nothing more. Her grip on the scythe doesn’t waver. 
She will not allow him to rile her up. 
“Upset that I stole a few tricks from your book?” she shoots back to the woods. “Your kind is awfully fond of the voidgates.” 
She cannot see him, not yet, but she can feel his presence. The way his amusement permeates through the aether. 
“Hardly, though I didn’t think you had it in you. Using the poor tortured souls of the damned for your own ends? Tsk tsk tsk… Haven’t your mother scolded you yet?" 
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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...
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wintersettled · 5 months
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Persona 5 Royal is the superior version if only for the fact that sae doesnt make us go to jail if we're rocking with akechi 🙌
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bellshazes · 5 months
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I did figure out the necessary inevitable narrative tone of distant station's conclusion and I'm sad about it. not because it's a sad ending but because it's sort of just flatly true on a meta-level. see you in two years when I write it tho
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lyxchen · 4 months
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If they give Aziraphale a light gray suit instead of his usual beige one next season I am going to flip my shit
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confinesofmy · 30 days
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me and my cousin i'm barely on speaking terms with (but in a relatively casual way) repotted her deceased grandmother's pothos today. this was our first time actually properly repotting it bc last summer it was in such a fragile state and we were so scared to hurt it that we just lifted it out of its pot and placed it in a bigger one but this go round we basically dismantled it entirely. we got eight discrete plants and placed it into four different pots!! in nine months it went from the edge of death to that many plants and like ninety leaves altogether. so if you're bad with plants but still wanna fool with them, i guess you should get a pothos.
#neither of us are corny enough to say it or interested in tearjerker moments but i think we both felt the presence of her grandmother HEAVY#this was the only potted plant of hers still living since she died back in 16 & it was. god. it was no longer variegated from lack of light#it actually had more leaves than i remembered. it had like 20. but for every leaf there were 4 places there should've been and wasn't.#water that touched the soil came back yellow which i've never researched to see what the cause is#but i associate it with like. bogs. and stagnation#like if it was still in that dark corner of my other cousin's living room it fr might be dead now#but in nine months thanks to my other cousin asking for help and thanks to us repotting it and taking our turns with it#it has more than quadrupled in size and is variegated af#i don't know what we'll do in like six months when it wants to do it again...#i'm keeping mine somewhat contained tbh i don't even like pothos i just love it bc it's a piece of my aunt#and it is like objectively so fucking sweet that we've rehabbed it like that#adam yaps#like two weeks ago i asked my other cousin if she'd want a pot of it when we repotted and she once again emphasised#that she didn't want it or any cuttings off it leaving the family or being handed out willy nilly#and i once again tried to explain that it's a pothos. it wants to be split up and thrown all over.#that's a pothos' favourite thing#plus her mom probably gave an ungodly amount of people cuttings off it like come on now#but anyway maybe she'll understand now when she sees and fully comprehends that in 9mos we turned half a plant into 4#at this rate we'll either be giving bits away or throwing bits away. those are the options we will eventually face.#because you can't just repot infinitely. eventually your whole house will be one massive pothos in a hundred pots.
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apollos-boyfriend · 1 year
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the urge to make a basic otubbo bee joke vs the knowledge that it’d be inaccurate as it only really applies to hive bees and not solitary bees and i refuse to contribute to bee misinformation
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milkweedman · 1 year
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Looks like the loom will be mine :3 the truck rental thing is already stressing me out (turns out when you are driving 6 hours with one they get expensive and the only place i found that does unlimited mileage also doesnt do reservations. So i just have to hope theyll have one the day and time that i need it bc im gonna need to take the day off work) but. Logistics aside i am very excited.
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Re: the post I reblogged earlier, a series of Reid Wiseman's cool orbital photos taken on the ISS? Specifically, the first picture that has a bit of a mystery in it? This one:
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I think I know what that is, and I am going to tell you how I figured it out (pre-emptive apologies to any South-East Asians who feel the urge to headdesk while reading this post.)
First off, all that green glow? It's on water. Check out a map of the area:
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So why are there lights in the sea at night? Well, squid fishing happens at night, and the ships use bright lights to imitate the moon to attract the squid.
Here's a big squid-fishing ship, filmed by a drone off the Argentinian east coast in the Atlantic Ocean. It's got a bit of green going on.
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Here's another one, photographed in the Pacific. Also some green here.
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Both of those are, however, severely outdone in greenness by this small Thai squid-fishing ship.
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Unlike the previous examples, it is in the right place and is, in fact, All Green. Boy, is it green. Look at how green it is. It is So Green.
Before you say that puny ships like that cannot possibly be visible all the way up to the ISS, consider: a) that there might be a bajillion of them, and b) the big ships are also out there in even bigger fleets, and they are bloody bright.
According to the Sea Shepherd organisation, who tracked a 300-strong squid-fishing fleet west of the Galapagos Islands in 2018, "the total luminosity of these vessels is said to rival European soccer stadiums". They waxed a bit poetic about them:
"Suddenly out of the darkness a towering intense white light showed on the horizon. Soon it was followed by others all around us, mostly white but some an iridescent green and others with dimmer yellow light. Looking out from the wheelhouse we seemed no longer to be on the open ocean but in the edge of some great coastal metropolis."
Here's part of a fleet of some 150 ships near Argentine.
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And here's that same fleet again, managing to be a magnificent eyesore even at a considerable distance.
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Sure, Argentine is pretty far away from Bangkok (though those ships might also be Chinese). But South-East Asia definitely has some of its own night-light activity going on. You can find a handy map at globalfishingwatch.org (go play with it, it's fun). It didn't have night-light satellite data from 2014, but here's a snapshot from August 2022 for comparison.
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The map also shows national fishing zones. If I'm interpreting Wiseman's photo correctly, those green lights in it are in the Vietnamese, Malesian and Indonesian waters. So those are likely Vietnamese, Malesian and Indonesian squid-fishings ships (and maybe some other nationalities that maybe aren't supposed to be there; here's that Sea Shepherd page again and an article about the Global Fishing Watch project talking about that kind of thing).
What I sadly couldn't figure out is what kind of squid they're fishing over there. I was hoping it might be the Japanese flying squid, because then I would have a reason to put them in this post. Unfortunately, Japanese flying squids apparently don't live that far down South.
But I'm going to put them on this post anyway, because I just found out about them, and I mean, look at these guys:
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Just Look.
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They're like if a squid decided it wanted to be a flying fish and instead of making a deal with the sea witch, it went "I can do it! I can! I can!" They're sleek, attention-grabbing and ridonculous. They can fly over 30 metres in 3 seconds. And they're not being caught by the glow-in-the-dark squid-fishing fleet off the Gulf of Thailand because they don't live there, and therefore have nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of this post.
But they're cool.
Finally, a confession: I didn't figure out the lights because I know something about South-East Asian fishing practices (I know nothing, feel free to laugh and correct me), or because did some kind of a systematic elimination chain to eventually arrive at the answer (ahahahaha no). It's because I've watched the Patagonia: Life on the Edge of the World nature documentary no less than three times in less than two weeks, and there's footage in it of this massive unnerving squid-fishing fleet, which you'll definitely remember if you've seen it once, let alone three times.
Why have I seen it three times, then? Obviously for very normal reasons. Not at all because the series is narrated by Pedro Pascal. I mean, who would opt to listen to Pedro Pascal talking very seriously about (occasionally horny) wildlife for 4+ hours while endearingly lisping his Fs and THs here and there? Not me, no. I am very normal about him and not at all soothed by his dulcet tones in my time of stress. Don't look at me.
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folerdetdufoler · 2 years
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one word, nine letters
Isak is heading into the end of his second year at Nissen with his best friend Jonas by his side, and his trusty study buddy Sana helping him with his grades. He lives at home with his mother, Marianne, in a house that is too big for them. Isak's father left a couple of years ago in a drawn-out separation, and his sister Lea is at university in Germany. But he's fine with that. He takes care of his mother, and his mother takes care of him. They're both focused on school, since Marianne is a professor at the university and Isak is Isak. The only other thing of particular interest in his life is driving a car, since he'll be getting his license shortly after turning 18 in June. He drives Marianne around the city when she needs a chauffeur, and waits for her in parking lots while she runs errands.
That's where he first sees Even, in a parking lot, outside of a church. Even doesn't see him, but that doesn't really matter. Isak sees him first, and the search for a name, a friend, a story, begins.
playlist by @in-wonder-underground
part of the 2022 skam big bang! rated T, 14 chapters. read a new chapter every friday from now through september.
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oranberrie · 1 year
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Ah the autistic experience of randomly remembering a situation from your childhood and realizing things
#i asked a teacher once if I could go Over the needed word count and she said something mean in return in front of the class#i used to write essays for fun and I remember that I liked the topic and I definitely wanted to infodump in the essay#i attempted to stay calm and realized I was going to really start crying and excused myself to the bathroom#where a really kind upperclassman immediately noticed my distress and hugged me and helped me calm down#or how about. the first time someone gave me a hug I actually enjoyed. and it was because he hugged me with really tight pressure#whereas all hugs I’d had previous were light and always left me uncomfortable from touching and having to lean over awkwardly#i always felt like i was about to fall over in hugs because I would try to return the favor of light touches and overbalanced myself usually#or how about. or how about. or how about.#so on and so forth. the autism was there at every moment of my life and no one noticed. even now unless I point out specifics#or spoon feed people tidbits of research I’ve done that upends their biases#people tend to immediately refuse to acknowledge or believe me. i don’t have the money for a diagnosis nor do I desire any of the#discrimination that comes from having a formal diagnosis. and the lack of one is almost always a point of contention when I explain things#hell I used to refuse to consider the idea myself because it felt like I was taking away from other peoples experiences#which was stupid because as the great High School Musical once said. We’re all in this together.#did Not help that I had an ex years ago who I did voice my theories to and got shut down rather harshly#idk just feeling nostalgic for the childhood I could have had in a perfect world.#a world where people were kind. a world with better healthcare. a world with better research studies to broaden understanding of diagnoses.#i want to go back in time on multiple trips and give my younger self tight squeezing hugs so often through my childhood that I would never#have had to think that hugs were supposed to be something you just tolerate
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neige-leblanche · 4 months
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as much as ppl making fun of be gay do crimes corvidcore queers rlly does feel exactly like middle school preps picking on the weird autistic kids one thing that does specifically piss me off is when someone from that sorta subculture makes a post like "omg they put cordyceps in this food/vitamin i guess they didn't know the spooky thing it does to ants!!" like. cordyceps has been cultivated (!!!) in asia & used as traditional medicine for ages and if it did That to humans literally everyone on earth would know. or are you just interested in fungi and/or parasites for clout👀
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onefriendeveryday · 5 months
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Lep - 14/11/2023
The two hundred and forty fourth friend. A little shape. She's only small, but she's full of love. She likes to spend her time with her friends whenever possible. She's always chatting away to whoever will listen about anything at all. She likes to hear about other people. She loves hearing all about their days and finding out what makes them tick. The more mundane parts of other people's lives are what she finds most interesting. She wants to know when they do their laundry and what their favourite spices are and what their morning routine is. She thinks things like this are what let you truly know a person.
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