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prettyvampiress96 · 3 years

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The Malfoy Secret - Chapter 4

Excitement buzzed through the halls of Malfoy manor, with Draco home on break, Lucius and Anastasia had been invited by Cornelius Fudge himself to the Quidditch World Cup . Bulgaria VS Ireland. Of course once Draco had heard the news it became a family outing. Draco was thrilled Anna was tagging along. "Draco darling just because your home from school , does not mean anna can shy away from her work. Your father and Anna will have reputation's to uphold as do we?" Narcissa warned him yet again. " But mother that's barbaric, Anna is my friend . Mine and I want her to watch the match with me" Draco whined turning on his heels to pout up at Anna. Lucius , Narcissa and Anastasia all shared a look to each other which Draco completely missed. Keeping this a secret would be that much more difficult yet all the more so exciting.

The Malfoy's and Anastasia apparated to the match and they proceeded to walk through the crowds in order to reach their private box , stopping to greet others along the way. Lucius and Narcissa began walking up the flight of stairs first followed closely behind were Anna and Draco. "Ah here's Lucius now. I'm positive most of you know each other " came the voice of Cornelius Fudge. Anastasia tensed when she laid her eyes on who Cornelius was conversing with. The Weasley's. Anna tensed and her jaw locked into place, her hand reaching towards her wand. After her last run in with Percy, Anna was certainly taking no chances. Draco noticed the change in Anna and turned looking confused at the situation. Anastasia narrowed her eyes completely having zoned out of the conversation , until Arthur Weasley held his hand out towards her . Instead of shaking his hand Anna chose to not take notice. "Anna" Narcissa scolded as if Anna was one of her own. "Oh that's quite alright Narcissa truly, Percy did say some rather unforgiveable things, it's bound to be hard for her to forgive. No hard feelings. Right lets get to our seats shall we?" Arthur said clapping his hands , he began rushing the children up the stairs. Draco took Anna by the hand and proceeded to drag her to their box, very nearly pulling her over . The private box even had a adjoined balcony with slightly more spacious seats than the original. " Look Dray, As spectacular as this view is these shoes are not made for me to be on my feet leaning over a railing for the whole match , so I'm going to fetch a seat by your parents" Anna said her cloak swishing behind her. Spying the two elder Malfoy's seated alone in the back row with a seat saved between them.

Anastasia sidled her way to the spare seat squeezing herself past Narcissa , whose fingers trailed up the smooth skin of Anna's bare leg. The entire arena suddenly erupted into applause and cheers. The Bulgarian team came flying out along with their mascots. Veela's. Veela's were stunningly beautiful creatures capable of entrancing any male in their presence. At the sight of the many Veela's Anastasia eyes Lucius watching his reaction, her hand grasps the top of his thigh squeezing hard. Lucius jumped at the unsuspected contact, his actions gaining the attention of Narcissa. " Oh Darling I do believe our princess wants to play" Narcissa cooed. " Yes it would certainly seem that way. It is rather brave of our babygirl if you ask me. Tell us babygirl is that what you want ? You want us to make you scream our names for everyone to hear ? Does our dirty little princess want an audience to watch her beg ?" Lucius teased , his voice low enough for both women to hear. The effect of his words had Anna squirming in her seat. With her hand still on Lucius's thigh Anna could feel his length hardening beneath her touch, deciding to test the waters ,Anna began slowly undoing the zip . " Don't start something you can't finish baby " Cissa whispered into Anastasia's ear while sliding her hand to cup Annas throbbing heated , panty-less sex . At the discovery of no panties, Cissa was in two minds to whether to take Anna over her knee right there and then or completely fuck her senseless later. Deciding on the latter Narcissa began dragging her index finger through the slick folds of Anastasia's wet folds, reaching the bud of nerves she began rubbing slow circles. Anastasia bit down on her lip in an attempt to keep their cover being blown. With Lucius's erect shaft free from its clothed prison, Anna wrapped her hand around the base. Anastasia moved her hand up to the red swollen tip swiping her thumb across the tip spreading the glistening pre-cum over her thumb. Anna made eye contact with Lucius as she popped the cum covered thumb into her mouth humming in approval at the salty taste it provided. Lucius stared in disbelief at his little princess's bold action. Leaning to her slightly Lucius whispered.

" You do that again princess and I'll take it upon myself to personally destroy the beautifully tight cunt of yours and mummy wont be able to save you" Lucius smirked with a glint in his eye. " You promise daddy" Anna whispered back.

Anastasia felt a rush of adrenaline surge through her , whether that was due to him or to the fact Cissa was still launching her attack on anna's clit she didnt know neither did she care. Anna's hand picked up the pace around Lucius whilst she ground down against Cissa's fingers . Narcissa's fingers curling inside of anna hitting the spot each and every time she thrust , her thumb hitting the bud of nerves driving Anna so close to the edge. The closer she got to her big finish the harder and faster she gripped Lucius. Narcissa felt Anna's walls constrict around her fingers. Cissa removed her fingers from Anna lifting them up for both Anna and Lucius to see Anna's juices dripping from her fingers. "I'd offer you a taste my love but I really dont want to " Cissa smiled warmly at the pair as she cleaned each finger with her tongue one by one making a rather erotic show for the pair. " Fuck Cissa ! I'm so close babygirl I highly suggest taking your hand away before we make a mess " he warned , Anna chose to disregard his warning and continued her ascent, hell bent even to make her daddy feel as good as he makes her. Anna felt Lucius's cock twitch in her hand signalling he was about to cum and boy was she ready for it. Lucius with his eyes momentarily clenched shut, he missed as Anastasia bent her head down, with one last pump on his twitching penis Lucius rode his orgasm out shooting white shots of cum. Surprisingly Anna caught the majority of it in her mouth leaving little to no mess. Anastasia rose back into her seat laughing lightly. Narcissa placed her hand on Anna's thigh. " You did such a splendid job darling and you taste so sweet . Our sweet babygirl " Cissa commented softly. Lucius hummed in agreement. " Indeed she did my love , I must admit it does make me wonder how her lips would feel wrapped around it, perhaps her lips on you too my dear . The possibilities are endless wouldn't you say?" Lucius replied quietly. Anna blushed furiously. In the background the arena erupted in to applause. Draco and his friends turned from the railings and ran approaching Anna and his parents. "They lost , the Bulgarians lost by 10 points 10 freaking points. What a match though Anna? " Draco asked. "Oh yes It was definitely quite the match. Had me on the edge of my seat the entire game" Anastasia enthused back. Draco looked pleased at her response. " Oh father , mother Blaise invited me and the others to go back to his tent for a while , Would that be alright with you" Draco asked them politely his hands clasped in front of him. "Yes Draco that's fine by us , you know where our tent is should you need something. Be safe" Lucius allowed , secretly happy that Draco would be elsewhere giving him and Cissa time with their babygirl. Draco fist pumped the air in pure excitement. "Anna you want to come I'm sure everyone would love to see you again you are everyone's favourite head girl after all " Draco asked his eyes wide and hopeful. Anna shuffled her weight from foot to foot . " Oh um Draco that's rather kind of you but in fact I'm rather tired . I figured I might just go and get some sleep" she replied scratching her neck at the awkwardness silently praying Draco wouldn't see through her lie. Draco nodded at her response waving and leaving with his friends in tow. With Draco gone , Anastasia, Narcissa and Lucius walked side by side back to the tent . " Are you actually tired little princess or can mummy and I convince you to join us in what I do believe you started earlier this evening?" Lucius asked with every intention of keeping the promise he made her earlier. " Well I suppose theres a chance I could be persuaded" Anna shrugged lightly, spotting their tent she turned to them with a small giggle and took off running . Leaving Lucius and Narcissa to watch in complete awe. Narcissa curled into her husband's side. " My god I love her " Cissa whispered softly . Lucius planted a soft kiss to the temple of Cissa's head smiling at her comment after all he too felt the same way. " Me too my darling me too , let us hurry I do

believe our precious girl would not fare well being kept waiting." Lucius said taking Cissa by the hand and into the tent. As they entered their room of the tent , they both froze in complete and utter shock , the sight of their princess already on their bed completely naked . Her long hair pulled back into the high ponytail that Lucius seemed to adore . Her hands on her knees patiently waiting . " You and mummy kept me waiting daddy, that's not very nice of either of you. I thought I'd have to try and start things all on my own . It wouldn't have been as good as mummy's but you were taking too long" Anna pouted . Narcissa felt instantly guilty , Lucius however was plagued with the image of his babygirl on the bed pleasuring herself without them. That thought being more than he could take , he strode over to a pouting Anna turning her by the cheekbones to look at him. " Oh Is that so little one ? You would start without us ?Really, is that so?" he taunted her. Anastasia looked from him to Narcissa who watched on with an arched brow, embracing in the confidence their princess had today. Lucius didnt like the attention shifted from him and pulled her back to look at him by her ponytail. " Touch yourself princess I dare you and I'll take you over my knee and give you the spanking of my dreams. Only mummy and daddy get to fuck you with our fingers. Wouldn't you agree darling?" Lucius asked pulling Anna to stand in his arms turning them to look at Cissa who had also now gotten rid of her clothes. " Oh I absolutely agree my dear of course unless we tell her otherwise" she caressed Lucius's cheek placing a kiss to the corner of his lips , leaning over Anna's head in the process. Narcissa then stood looking Anna dead in the eyes. " Although I might add that I will spank you myself should you ever leave the house without panties on again my baby" Cissa warned , Anna silently cursed in her head. Lucius's arms tightened around her bare waist placing her down on the bed with Narcissa close behind , their hands roaming over Anna . Lucius let his left hand cup her cheek while his right hand gently held her throat. " No panties ? Really ? In that case perhaps a punishment is needed hmmm?" Lucius thought out loud to Narcissa. Anastasia gasped at the sudden surge of pleasure rushing through her just from his hand on her throat . Before he could apply pressure , loud noises of explosions and screaming interrupted. Leaping up Anna and Narcissa quickly dressed using magic while Lucius went to see exactly what the commotion is. When he returned , he had a panic stricken look on his face. "Death eaters we need to leave" Lucius said sternly. He knew all too well the damage they were capable of. Narcissa's hands flew to her mouth. " DRACO" Anastasia and Narcissa shouted together. Anna wasted no time hurrying out of the tent with her wand drawn ignoring the shouts and cries of Lucius and Narcissa behind her. Curses were being thrown from every direction. Anastasia spots Blaise and his friends leaving but no Draco. " BLAISE , where is Draco ? He was with you" Anna asked frantically .Blaise nodded. "He was until they started attacking , we got split the last I saw he was by my tent" Anna didnt wait to listen the rest. Running as best she could in a dress and heels, Anna began calling Draco over and over until she saw him . Draco was doing his utmost best to defend himself against three Death Eaters. He was doing so well until he tripped over an abandoned backpack. "Stupefy" Anna cast knocking the death eaters back, Anna helped Draco to his feet keeping him tucked behind her back. She now stood facing the Death Eaters. " Protego" Anna shouted blocking their attacks. "SECTUMSEMPRA" Anastasia cast leaving two of the three Death Eaters bleeding to death on the floor. A flash of green hit the third . The Killing Curse. It was an unforgiveable spell. Lucius and Narcissa appeared from behind Anna and Draco , grabbing onto them , they apparated back to Malfoy Manor. Draco broke into sobs at how close he came to death. Narcissa rushed to him

cradling him like the child he was. Narcissa took Draco upstairs and let him talk his way through what happened before they found him. Upon hearing Draco's side of things, Narcissa would be forever in debt to Anna for saving him the way she did. Meanwhile in the master bedroom Lucius pulled Anastasia into him , needing to hold her in his embrace. Never had he felt the amount of fear and panic that he had when he saw her trying to defend herself and Draco against three ruthless Death Eaters. Tomorrow he would absolutely scold her so bad but for tonight both her and his son remained in one piece . No physical damage. " Princess you have no idea how relieved I am that your not harmed . Myself and Cissa can never lose you babygirl. We need you" Lucius almost cried into her hair. A single tear rolling down his face. Narcissa entered the room. " He's okay he's sleeping poor boy is shaken though, We owe you a thousand thank yous darling , without you I fear our Draco may not be here tonight so thank you our beautiful Anna . Now we've had enough for one night wouldn't you say ? How about a bath and some much needed cuddles in bed hmm?" Cissa suggested. Anastasia and Lucius nodded in agreement. All three of them now submerged in a bubble bath both Narcissa and Lucius refused to let go of Anna's hand . The events of tonight really shook everyone to their core. Narcissa offered to wash Anna's hair while Lucius just wanted to hold her a little longer. After they were all bathed and ready for bed Anna had yet to climb in with them instead hesitating by the door. " Darling girl are you not coming in with us? Is something wrong?" Narcissa asks panicked at the possibility Anna could have seriously hurt herself. " No nothing is wrong it's just with Draco home shouldn't I be in my guest room?" Anna asked looking to the floor. When Draco was usually home Anna usually stayed in a guest room down the hall to keep their secret. " Darling come and cuddle with us for a while, we all need it , I can carry you to bed later princess" Lucius persuaded. Anna didn't need to be asked twice . She jumped straight up onto the bed crawling into Lucius's open arms, Anna settled down and held hers open for Cissa to crawl into. Lucius began playing with Anna's hair twirling it around his fingers. Kissing the crown of his head as he twirled each piece. Anna wrapped her arms around Narcissa holding her against her chest. Something about being stuck between the two made Anna feel safe, the safest she had ever felt. " I love you Lucius and I love you Narcissa "Anastasia said sleepily, her eyes fighting to stay open. Lucius and Narcissa both tensed at those words. The first time their Anastasia had said that she loved them and with their names well it just melted them both. " We love you too darling so much " Narcissa whispered gently moving to kiss her forehead , catching the smile on her face from her words brought tears to Cissa's eyes again. Anna drifted peacefully to sleep surrounded in a loving embrace .

#lucius malfoy smut #narcissa malfoy smut #draco malfoy #harry potter smut #narcissa malfoy #lucius malfoy #narcissa x lucius x oc

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going! Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”. he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well” while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school.

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #crying paper #proud paper!#tohru is just so precious!#final season #Part 1

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raisingwildflowers82 · 2 years

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Thursday, 26 May 2022 09:06 PM

Please be paitent with anyone who has come out of a really difficult situation, we feel lost, alone, and scared of everything life has to offer. We are waking back up after years of abuse, betrayal and loss. We don't trust ourselves and defently do not trust others. We are trying to relearn how to feel emotions because we had to became numb inorder to survive the abuse. We beat ourselves up everyday because we stayed when we knew we should have left, so we dont need anyone asking why didnt you just leave? We are more angry with ourselves then we are with our abusers. Sometimes we just need someone to sit with us in slience while we work through the emotional turmoil inside us. In my case it wasn't just physical abuse it was emotional too. Some days I am proud of myself for surviving and other days I still want to die. I don't know how I survived years of torture. Having my good name smeared, my kids taken from me and losing my precious child all of this on top of the incredible abuse I was already suffering. 💔 It destroyed any hope I had left in humanity. See we are unlearning and learning alot right now and if you want to help us in anyway believe us when we tell you the unbelievable story of our survival and the dark truth of what we really went through. Its hard for us to speak outloud becausewe were made to feel crazy or like it was our fault. Our walls are impossibly high so if you really love us and want us in your life you will have to climb to the top and prove it because we have been let down by the people who were supposed to love and protect us. We wont reach out to anyone for help or friendship. I have been fighting demons in the shape of humans my entire life I am exhausted to my soul. I want to be happy and feel safe and trust in humans again and I'm working really hard on myself inoreder to make this happen for me so I really just need you to show up even when it's hard, to speak to me in a kind gentle way and know I'm trying everyday to fight for a better life for myself and my kids.

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certifiedceraunophile · 3 years

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Hi! A fan of your writing here. I just love the way you write Caroline. An Avoidable Heart is my comfort fic and I am constantly in awe with the way you write and craft the dynamics in that story. Caroline's inner monologue is just priceless and God! I just love that intro scene where Caroline is walking into the Mikaelson compound with vampires and hybrids in the surrounding ready to pounce on her.

I would love to hear how you would have visualized Caroline crossing over into TO or not? Like in what season and why? How it would have likely gone?

Thank you!

First of all lovely anon gimme a moment to breathe, asdfghjkl why are people so lovely 😭😭🥺✨ It means sooo much to me that you’d take the time to jump into my inbox and send these kind words, like please I’m not worthyyyyy, But you make me smile and feel really freaking warm so *handcuffs your hand to mine* you aint leaving 💖✨💞🙃

But OK ALSO oh my god dude THAT CAROLINE WALTZS INTO THE COMPOUND AND TAKES ON A COUPLE HUNDRED VAMPIRES BY HERSELF SCENE???? Ughhhhh I’m sorry but I have SUCH a boner for Caroline in that, like my badass -I admit kinda op- QUEEN IS HERE and she’s fucking shit up, I’m sorry but I love that scene so much it’s so dear to me I was killing myself over how self-indulgent and grossly Over powered Caroline is but like idgaf man it’s such a hot scene and Caroline is practically invincible and we just love to see that, so seriously lovely anon, you telling me you LOVE that scene??? Puts the biggest smile on my face and reassures me a LOT bc I was whining and cribbing over how absolutely unbalanced that scene is to literally everyone BUT LIKE YOU JUMPING OUT OF NOWHERE and pointing that exact scene UGHH…...meant to fucking be the both of us 💖💞✨

And ALSO Caroline’s monologue is quite honestly the easiest inner monologue out of the three voices I wrote for that work, Klaus’s is the real pain in the ass tbvh like it is NOT easy writing pretentious besotted losers with a Kardashian complex especially when you need to make them sound cool when they’re the lamest OP dude bros to ever exist - and no I don’t hate Klaus although I seem to try my darndest to convince ppl I do- I just personally believe that a feral fucker like that with a thousand years of existence under his belt can grow a pair and graduate from his kindergarten level of emotional maturity to adult sometime soon, But then on the flipside he’s so grossly adorkably smitten and feral for Caroline plus hella horny for her all the time that its usually easy to write the trashed and devoted idiot he is into something pretentious and powerful and potent when relating to his unflappable arrogance and his narcissism, but sometimes I also need him to be *deep* and ffs profound for the sake of the plot and jfc my muse just wont work with me on that, she’s like I’m sorry I’m not about to bust my ass to make this mongrel intelligible like no sir all I wanna do is make him uncomfortably horny for Caroline and leave him like that.

So smh yeah the struggle is real….but lmao Caroline is just so precious and fiercely protective and just so achingly lonely in that story, so desperate for connection and trust and intimacy yet so guarded and impervious to everyone like it hurts me to write her like that but it really challenges me as an author to balance out her inherent light with the “void” I create in her and through her, so yeah it’s a very fulfilling task and I wouldnt change it one bit, and also I had to balance out her physical op-ness w half a millennium of the ugliest emotional trauma lol so I guess that figures, but the point being….once again I am overjoyed knowing that you liked a facet of the story that I tried so hard to make as authentically Caroline and achingly real and moving as I can and I cannot possibly feel more accomplished than rn for it so ty ty ty ty for reaching out to me and telling me *tackle hugs* It makes me GIDDY knowing that you enjoyed that particular part of the story like ugh stab me please you're too sweet.

And ok NOW, coming to The Originals part of the ask, (also please note that when I say TO headcanon; Hope does not exist, Hayley is a dead in a ditch and ofc Klaus will stop being that lil bitch they tried to pawn off as Klaus in TO)

HEADCANON 1

Honestly my biggest headcanon when it comes to TO crossovers somehow always include non-humanity!Caroline like it’s just so perfect to me?? The opportunity to make shit BLOW UP b/w them like imagine the DEBAUCHERY, the heat, the SEXUAL TENSION, the repression of one Klaus Mikaelson, the EXPLORATIONS, and omg the role reversal when Klaus has to be the voice of moral reason between them and not bc he believes Caroline would not be able to stand herself if she does something heinous and monstrous but bc he wants her to be completely and utterly herself, and yk *aware*, when she DECIMATES ppl to the ground and is in full-on predator mode, like he wants her monster to come out and play with him when no part of Caroline is locked away or suppressed, so obviously when she is w/o her humanity KLAUS exercises restraint on her behalf, like can you imagine that, Klaus restraining himself and being the vague, extremely broken and just largely inaccurate moral compass between the two of them for ALL the wrong reasons- and the entirety of NOLA just standing there watching him herd this baby vampire who seems to be intent on riling him up and angering him when all she is doing is giving him a massive hybrid hard on, like IMAGINE THE GOODNESS of non-humanity Caroline wrecking NOLA and Klaus letting her wreck it bc he is helpless in the face of Caroline Forbes and also bc he is quite honestly *enjoying* the debauchery himself so why put a damper on the festivities.

-I might wanna add that I favour this headcanon a lot bc I genuinely do not even remotely *like* the idea of NOLA as Klaus's chosen place to set his roots so like I would love Caroline going to NOLA and destroying everything there just bc I detest NOLA and the storyline behind it in TO. (yes is it petty? Obvi, but like I am a petty soul and I make no apologies ma’am)

HEADCANON 2

So yeah that’s my main TO headcanon, but my other one being, one I talk about very frequently, scream about in tag rants to an obsessive level, and like this is a cracky one but still very valid, where Caroline rolls up to NOLA humanity intact and all, finds Hayley preggo and is just laughing her fucking ass off bc anybody ANYBODY, with half a brain and a two minute convo w klaus would know how UTTERLY stupid the entire baby shit is especially when it’s with an immemorable one night stand, and Caroline’s just losing her shit about how like an entire city is obssessed w this baby and she just straight up tells Klaus he’d SUCK as a dad (which he really does tho like he was a shitty fucking dad canonically too) and Klaus is just like *sigh* girl tell me about it. I mean basically he’s finally relieved that someone is on his side about the whole baby thing and how he definitely does not want his entire millennium of life to finally sum up to this one squalling leaking stinky infant/unicorn Hayley is apparently baking in her oven, and I say this headcanon is cracky bc klaus would never have put up w this mess long enough for Caroline to come in and sort it out, there’s this preferred method of disposal of his called heart ripping that would've been employed quite early on and honestly saved us all a lot of brain cells and minused years of life, bc let’s be real any Klaus who’s NOT a lil snivelling bitch wearing a Klaus skinsuit would’ve yeeted the baby and the mama first chance he got, and that’s just how I see it.

Lmao I really hope I didnt scare you away w my *strong* opinions Ik they can be a bit much but I enjoy having them so theyre not going anywhere, anyways this ask answer got WAYYYY too long but I’m hoping I answered your question well with this or atleast left you slightly confused and bemused over my feral screaming....either ways I’m really really really happy to have got your ask and the chance to rant so much bs, Twas cathartic and honestly I had nothing to do today so I was more than happy to dish this baby out for you. Thank you so much sweet anon for putting a smile on my face today I am absolutely HONOURED by your words you’sa cutie 💖💞✨🗣🗣

#first of all #LONG POST #second #I did rant a LOTTTT more than what was prolly expected but lmao am I sorry?#no #anyway so those are my general drivel-tastic thoughts straight from glitter graveyard brain #hope you enjo navigating through so much bs anon #and I hope someone puts a smile on your face that's as large and bright as the one you've put on mine today #anon asks #ask certified ceraunophile #anti the orginals #tvd headcanons #tvd #klaroline #anon youre the sweetest #shakes hand cuffed hand #you stuck w me lovely #💞💞

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thequeenb · 4 years

Text

I Will Always Be Here

I see people trashing Poppy so i am here to do her justice

Poppy x MC

After three hours of talking with the police they finally get my statement and i can be dismissed. My body is shaking and i cant think of anything else rather than a bottle of wine and my bed

"If you have more things to testify please don't hesitate to call us" the officer gives me her card and a faint smile before leaving me alone

Who do i even call? Zoe said she will be busy studying so that means her phone is on mute and i feel hopeless already. Sighing i walk towards my dorm looking around everywhere to make sure i am alone.

Benji is getting expelled and sued for harassment and assault but i can still feel his hands on my shoulders, the creepy smile on his face and of course i will never forget how i whooped his ass. Everything happened so fast and even though i knew he was in love with me i never thought this would escalate so quickly

I finally arrive at my dorm and my phone buzz, of course its The T. Right now drama is the last thing that i want so i turn off my phone going straight for the wine bottle. I pour myself a glass but is it even enough? Who am i kidding, i take the whole bottle and i sink into the couch

The exhaustion hits me at once and i can feel all my muscles relax. Who thought beating his crusty ass would be so tiring. I close my eyes but everything takes me back to the horror i felt when i saw that damn shrine

The way he smiled and talked about us like we were even together, the way he thought it was okay for him to do this claiming its true love. I have envy to vomit just thinking about it and that damn smell, i will never forget this night

Tears prick in the corner of my eyes thanking god the police arrived soon. What if i didn't find courage to defend myself? His oily hairy ass would do such bad things to me wouldn't it? A shiver runs down my spine just thinking of the possibilities but a knock on the door brings me back to reality

Thinking its Zoe i open the door ready to crash on her hug but instead i see Poppy??

"I called you 20 times why didn't you answer you jerk!!" She says shoving me lightly

"Wowowowow what the hell are you doing?" My mind cant process anything but i can see the concern in her eyes

"I read the T and i.." the sentence dies on her lips because she just cant accept the fact that she worries for my well being

I roll my eyes feeling weak and helpless "look Poppy if you came here to kick me while i am down thats so low of you"

"Thats not--"

"No Poppy i had a very rough night and honestly? Fuck the first place. If dealing with stalkers ready to sexually assault me is what i have to do to bring you down then i give up"

I hold on the door for support, my body is ready to collapse anytime now. I look at her and her expression changes to one i have never seen before. Her eyes sparkle under the low lights, are these tears?

"I wanted to make sure you are okay" she says looking away, since when the Queen of this university is shy?

I let her come in and i sit on the couch feeling all the weight leaving my body

"I knew Benji was an asshole but i never thought that he..i dont.." she trails off, her eyes scanning my body

"I knew he liked me but not..god no" i remember that rotten shrine and i shiver, my eyes are starting to water and i look away, why would i let her see my vulnerable side

I watch her standing up, sitting next to me. Her facial expressions give up the fact that she cares but how? Wasn't she the one who wanted to ruin my life? I can't overthink about her sudden affection because i feel her soft hands all over me

"He didn't hurt you did he? Because if he did i will make sure he rots in jail" the anger in her eyes cant be ignored anymore

"Why are you doing this? I thought you hate me" she pulls her hands away, her face falls.. i think she got offended. Its not like i am wrong, since i walked on the campus she made it her personal mission to make my life a living hell

"It's my fault, things went too far" again she looks away, is this my imagination or does this sounds like a love confession? I swallow hard not knowing exactly what to say

"I lost control i admit and mind you i hardly say this but..my family is..i.." she sighs and i take her hand giving it a pat

"You don't have to tell my anything you don't want to, and to be honest Benji was weird regardless but..for what is worth i am sorry too"

Before she can reply i stand up to find my bag. Everything i can use against her to ruin her life are held on my hands and looking at it now its fucked up

"Here take these" i hand to her every proof i own that can make her life a living hell and at first she looks confused

"At first i had them as a form of protection, but now..just take them i don't think this enemies thing is worth ruining your life" i shrug and oh wow

Her eyes soften under my gaze and i can see tears forming in her eyes

"No one has ever done this for me. Trust me if any other student had these i would be already destroyed" she examine what i gave her and it seems like i reminded her of her dark past so i casually lean in

I wrap my arms around her and i pull her closer until i can feel every inch of her. She freeze at first but then i feel her hands rubbing my back

"I am so sorry you got through that" she whispers against my ear and i can feel her hot breath sending shivers down my spine

In response i grip at her shirt, the tears i tried to ignore come out at once and at first i feel embarrassed that until she whisper words of encouragement. Who knew Poppy would comfort me first? Her soft side is precious and i wish the world knew what a diamond she actually is

Once i calm i pull away slightly laughing, did i just cry on her expensive shirt?

"What's so funny?" She says rolling her eyes ready to snap at me but she actually smiles shyly

"I am sorry, i probably ruined your shirt"

"Shirts can be replaced Bea, but you cant" she gaze at my lips and oh my god did she really just say something so romantic to me?

I think she notices because she gasps but before she can defend herself i lean in and our lips crash. As our tongues touch i can feel all her ice cold walls melting against my mouth. At first i thought she would pull away but she pulls me closer savouring everything that i give her

She sighs happily against my lips and I can't hide my smile anymore "Did we really just did that?"

"If i knew you were a good kisser i would keep my enemies way closer" she winks at me and we both laugh. I relax completely because her company surprisingly makes me feel safe.

She takes my hand examining it, she runs her delicate fingers against my skin and wow its so soothing

"I want you to erase his touch" she says as she kisses my wrist, my shoulder and then my neck

I am flushed imaging where all this kindness comes from but for tonight i let my worries melt as her perfume fill my senses. Her kisses are soft and gentle, all her unspoken words slipping from her lips directly into my mouth.

"Will you hold me?" i whisper and she obeys opening her arms to me

"Who knew Poppy Min-Sinclair was a big spoon?"

"Oh shut up" she says as she holds me against her. I can feel her heartbeat and her even breathing makes me sleepy. Before i know it i pass out in her arms, where i find my safety and comfort

"I wont allow anyone to hurt you again" she says thinking i didn't listen but i did, smiling to myself like i fool the events of today are the least of my worries as i get lost in the warmth Poppy provides.

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @tyrils-star @aiswood @alexlabhont

#queen b #make poppy an li #queen b poppy #poppy x mc #poppy min sinclair #play choices #pb #pb choices #my fics

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gerrymike · 3 years

Text

OK. commentary on my satg playlist. For reasons

lol it wont let me hyperlink but. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0w9pMZtOvP0plqdxT665q7?si=wEFnvdh3Rjaa0p2UX251mQ&dl_branch=1 Plug

1. PIEDMONT (DESTROY BOYS)

Looks like I'm late for the party Everyone knows the attire but me Glass walls separate us Catch a glimpse into different books On different shelves

i.e. teen crisis where u want desperately to live the same life as ppl on the street but also can’t imagine anything worse

2. SWEET ADELINE (ELLIOTT SMITH)

It's a picture-perfect evening and I'm staring down the sun Fully loaded, deaf and dumb and done Waiting for sedation to disconnect my head Or any situation where I'm better off than dead

i.e. she’s alive! is that worse or better. also jfc, you fucking hate hospitals

3. ALAMEDA (ELLIOTT SMITH)

You walk down Alameda Shuffling your deck of trick cards over everyone Like some precious only son Face down, bow to the champion

also

Walk down Alameda Brushing off the nightmares you wish Could plague me when I'm awake And now you see your first mistake Was thinking that you could relate For one or two minutes she liked you But the fix is in

i.e. oops it’s two elliotts in a row, sorry. just. about the connection you can form with someone given just a short period of time, and how sometimes it gets ruined by, like, a werewolf. pretty similar to sweet adeline. mx weisglass gets two songs. plus “precious only son” 😬 “shuffling your deck of trick cards” 😬

4. CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS (IRON MAIDEN)

Give me the sense to wonder To wonder if I'm free Give me a sense of wonder To know I can be me Give me the strength to hold my head up Spit back in their face

i.e. for Me mostly because i think the whiplash from elliott to maiden is kinda funny. also the gerry VS twisty animosity, in over-the-top wizardy terms. sometimes you are full of hate and that’s OK 😬

5. ICU (PHOEBE BRIDGERS)

If you're a work of art I'm standing too close I can see the brush strokes I hate your mom I hate it when she opens her mouth It's amazing to me How much you can say When you don't know What you're talking about

and

I'll climb through the window again But right now it feels good not to stand Then I'll leave it wide open Let the dystopian morning light pour in

i.e. we’re back in london…and, well, yeah. also, song title! we’re still in sacramento, actually, spiritually, at this point in the story

6. CRY FOR JUDAS (THE MOUNTAIN GOATS)

Feel the storm every night Hope it passes by Hallucinate a shady grove where Judas went to die Unfurl the black velvet altar cloth Draw a white chalk Baphomet Mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get

i.e. crew. i think about him

7. IRIS (THE GOO GOO DOLLS)

And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life And sooner or later, it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight

plus

And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

i.e. OK. OK. OK. yeah, OK. damn right all you can taste is this moment…yeah OK. SONGS5

8. KILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS (MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE)

It's been 8 bitter years since I've been seeing your face And you're walking away And I will die in this place

It's been 10 fucking years since I've been seeing your face round here And you're walking away And I will drown in the fear

i.e. ah…the lyrical differences in the chorus…yes…also i love how raucous this song is despite what it’s about. it’s got satg energy!!! “seeing your face”, of course, is not literal 😬

9. ENCHANTING GHOST (SUFJAN STEVENS)

Don't carry on carrying efforts, oh no, oh oh oh oh Somewhere there's a room for each of us to grow And if it pleases you to leave me, just go, oh oh oh oh Stopping you would stifle your enchanting ghost

and

Did you cut your hands on me? Are my edges sharp? Am I a pest to feed?

i.e. 😬😬😬

10. PAUL (BIG THIEF)

In the blossom of the months I was sure that I'd get driven off with thought So I swallowed all of it As I realized there was no one Who could kiss away my shit

and PARTICULARLY

Well Paul, I know you said That you'd take me any way I came or went But I'll push you from my brain See, you're gentle baby I couldn't stay, I'd only bring you pain

i.e. HARROWING TERRITORY!!!

11. PITSELEH (ELLIOTT SMITH)

I'll tell you why I Don't wanna know where you are I gotta joke I've been dying to tell you

i.e. sorry. a lot of elliott smith on this playlist. thems the breaks

12. OPHELIA (THE LUMINEERS)

Oh, Ophelia You've been on my mind girl like a drug Oh, Ophelia Heaven help a fool who falls in love

i.e. callbacks to SONGS5…! and more pain

13. CLOUDS (BORNS)

I forget all my dreams I forget everyones name I meet I forget about time and space But I can't stop thinking 'bout your face

i.e. tfw your memory’s shit and also you just threw yourself into the sky and you’re still not over it. yowch!

14. ARCADE (DUNCAN LAWRENCE)

Oh, oh-oh-oh oh Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh All I know, all I know Loving you is a losing game

i.e. sorry i heard this song first in a c#tradora edit and i have never recovered.

15. WARS (OF MONSTERS AND MEN)

Yeah, I love you on the weekends But I'm careless and I'm wicked Yeah, I love you on the weekends It's a cruel war I still have pieces of you stuck on me Pieces of you stuck on me Yeah, I love you on the weekends It's a cruel war

i.e. PIECES OF YOU STUCK ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the only song of the new omam i’ve heard. i never got around to listening to it. but this one slaps

16. MONTERO (LIL NAS X)

Lookin' at the table, all I see is weed and white Baby, you livin' the life, but baby, you ain't livin' right Cocaine and drinkin' with your friends You live in the dark, boy, I cannot pretend

AND

A sign of the times every time that I speak A dime and a nine, it was mine every week What a time, an incline, God was shinin' on me Now I can't leave And now I'm actin' hella elite

AND ESPECIALLY

I want that jet lag from fuckin' and flyin'

i.e. God i love this song. re: avatarhood. YOU CAN’T LEAVE!!! not saying it’s like being a celebrity, but it’s like being a celebrity. dual perspectives here with G + his morality regarding the person he loves being, uh, evil? (you live in the dark / i cannot pretend) and M + debt he owes to his god, erosion of his own morals. also, SHEER F*CKING VIBES

17. GEYSER (MITSKI)

You're my number one You're the one I want And you've turned down Every hand that has beckoned me to come

i.e. love songs that serve double as to your god and to your lover

18. THAT’S WHAT I LIKE (BRUNO MARS)

Jump in the Cadillac (Girl, let's put some miles on it) Anything you want (Just to put a smile on it) You deserve it baby, you deserve it all

i.e. this song is here because i say so. a real “sorry it’s been seven years let me make it up to you” vibe

19. RUN AWAY WITH ME (SUFJAN STEVENS)

And I say, love Come run away with me Sweet, falling remedy Come run away with me

i.e. more grand ridiculous propositions. more to come. but they’re born out of a real frustration with the situation at hand! it sucks! also, “falling remedy”,

20. LET’S GET MARRIED (BLEACHERS)

I'm gonna get right for you, honey I'll take all of my medicine, spend you all my money, yeah I know it's hard enough to love me But I woke up in a safe house singing, "Honey, let's get married"

i.e. bro.

21. I WILL (MITSKI)

And while you sleep I'll be scared So by the time you wake I'll be brave

i.e. a lot of these here are self explanatory..

22. ME & MY DOG (BOYGENIUS)

I had a fever Until I met you Now you make me cool

also

I never said I'd be all right Just thought I could hold myself together But I couldn't breathe, I went outside Don't know why I thought it'd be any better I'm fine now, it doesn't matter

i.e. title is significant. and yeah. just. recovery’s tricky

23. I FOUND (AMBER RUN)

And I've moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would

i.e. this is like a staple song for like. basically. any pairing. but i’m pathetic and it gets me every time. there’s something about it. not sure if i’m going to leave it on this playlist but. hm. yeah

OK that’s a wrap. highly likely i’ll put more songs on this as i go

#talk #i wrote this post instead of working. yay me

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zeldasayer · 5 years

Text

Loving Din XI - Afterlife

Pairing: Mandalorian/Din Djarin x Reader

Summary: Your relationship with Din is hanging on by a thread but you can’t let this exquisite love just go to waste.

Warnings: ANGST. Language, confessions of hopelessness, mom & dad please don’t fight.

gif by @djjarindin

“After this, can it last another night? After all the bad advice that had nothing at all to do with life, I’ve gotta know -

Can we work it out?”

“How long has it been?”

“Since?” You ask the hologram of your therapist, Nora, in the living room, as you sit cross legged on the couch in a red sundress. You know what she’s asking but you need to hear her to say it. In case it hasn’t been true.

“Since Din moved out.” She clarifies.

“Just over five months.” You nod slowly, looking down to focus on your fidgeting fingers.

“Do you miss him?” The hologram asks.

“Only when I’m awake.” You smile meekly, your eyes still down. “Or when I’m asleep. Or eating. Or playing with Baby in the ocean.”

“Have you told him this?” She asks slowly.

“No.” You answer flatly.

“Why not?”

“I guess,” You sigh, finally looking up. “It ended so badly. I guess I’m scared he won’t feel the same.”

“Do you believe that to be true?”

“No, but I also never believed we’d be a part at all.”

“Obviously I cannot get into any details of our sessions, but Din is making the same progress as you and Baby.” Nora was your father’s trusted therapist and he was so graciously arranging for you and Din to see her separately and teaching Din tools in how to help Baby trust him again.

You smile, meaning it whole heartedly, and you look back down from the truth of your words. “I’m so glad. Even if we don’t work out, I’m happy he’s finally opening up to someone. He deserves the weight of his past lifted from him”

It got worse before it got better.

Your emptiness melted into rage as you realized you were truly alone. The man who you stood by and filled with hope while he found his place in the galaxy was nowhere to be found now that you’ve lost your way in it. Gone was the man who so softly declared you as the most exquisite woman to ever walk the planet, the most beautiful moon he’s ever known, who found strength in your decision to be delicate despite everything that happened to you and you hadn’t the slightest clue where he went. Din went quiet again. He became calculated, like he thought through every word he said before he said it, every movement before it was made - not to protect you but because he was tired of fighting. Like you, he retreated inward and only came out to help with Baby despite his frustrations. You were two children of existing, not living and you somehow wound up back there again.

You hoped every day that Din would see himself in you, that he’d realize this is what you had to do with him at the beginning, but the moment never came. You would’ve died to help Din find his identity beyond the mask, and now he sleeps with his back to you.

Some nights you wanted to reach out and touch him, trace your fingers along his back, just for the reminder that he is real. Maybe he’d wake and pull you close to him so you could trace your fingers along his chest and match your breathing to his and everything would feel like it used to. But something always held you back.

Din Djarin wasn’t a man who could handle losing control. What made it twice as hard was that he brought it on himself, and in the process crushed the one precious flower he swore he’d never hurt. How could he? The one human being who knew everything about him and didn’t even blink at what he was ashamed of. Who ran her fingers through his hair and told him she would keep him safe when he thought he’d be haunted for the rest of his life.

“We can only haunt ourselves.” You cooed to him before kissing his nose and he carried that sentiment with him everywhere. He believed it until now, for he cannot get the look in your eyes when you told him you were ready to become the ocean out of his mind. It’s burned into his brain and he knows he’s being haunted because he can’t make himself speak.

Din Djarin was the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy but he is too weak to tell the absolute love of his life that he is just as scared as her. That he is haunted every waking moment by how he destroyed their sanctuary, altering their lives forever. He wants to tell you that he sees you and that he’s sorry, that he wants to take the pain away and if he could, he’d feel it for you, but he doesn’t know how. Every familiar feeling of being touch starved, alone in the galaxy returns to him at once and he indulges in them in silence. Din never knew what he did to deserve you and just like he feared, it imploded. You were too good, too beautiful, delicate, loving, patient, ethereal and he ruined you with his dirty hands.

Most nights Din would sit up in the cockpit of the Razor Crest before returning to the bungalow so mad because you lied. We are haunted by more than just ourselves, we are haunted by the memories of the ones we love the most. Din smashed his fist into the dashboard. Once. Twice. Until something sparked because the memories won’t stop playing over in his head. You, smiling in his lap shortly after you met, pressing every button in the ship that would light up. Him snorting with laughter as he pulled you against him.

“You’re just like the kid!” He said into your neck and you giggled holding onto his arms.

“Teach me how to fly this thing, rocket man.” You beamed.

Your faces were younger then but you loved each other with such an unspeakable passion that you believed even then that it could never die. So how could he ever forgive himself for turning that dreamy look in your eye to stone? The same look that made him less afraid and so achingly happy to be alive. Especially when he has resorted to silence in a feeble effort to not make everything worse, for he sees himself in you. And all he wants to do is hold you by the shoulders and say “You are so much like me, I’m sorry.” But that wouldn’t help anyone.

One evening when Din hadn’t return from his classes on time, you left Baby with a bowl of soup on the couch and snuck into your bedroom. Your heart raced as you sat on the ground, connecting the comm to your father.

“Hi d-ad.” Your voice cracked when you saw him.

“What’s wrong, my star?” He noticed right away.

“I don’t feel so good.” You said through ragged breath, bringing your hand to your eyes.

“Are you sick?”

“A little.” You said with a sniff, removing your hand and looking down. “I have all this pain. It’s crushing me, dad.”

Stark sits up and his eyes search you in worry, “Are you safe, my star?”

“Yes, dad. I’m safe.”

“Are you dreaming of the ocean again?”

“Yeah.” You said as tears stream down your face, as it can be so hard to be seen. “I feel like I’m suffocating. Like I’m not going to make it.”

“Where is Din?” he asked.

“Um.” Your lip trembles and now it feels like you may really be dying, “I don’t know if we’re going to make it either.”

Stark sighs. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You shrug. “I don’t know who he is anymore. But I guess I don’t know who I am either. It’s like I miss him, but he’s always right there, like he’s part of what’s hurting me.”

Your father nods. “What can I do to help?”

“Do you still have Nora’s information?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” you sniff, wiping your hand down your face. “Nothing is ever going to change if I keep running in circles, right?”

You look down as your eyes immediately well with tears again.

“I’m proud of you, my star. I promise, this is the hardest part. You can only go up from here.”

You nodded, starting to cry again.

“Madden & I shall leave at once. We will help you with Baby and I’ll set up a meeting between you and Nora. You are the brightest star in the sky and you will shine again, my child.”

“Thanks dad.” You cried. “Just not yet, okay? I haven’t even told Din yet.”

“Told him what?” He asked.

“That I need to do this on my own.”

Din did not take it lightly.

“What the hell does that mean?” He demanded and your attention turned to Baby who’s ears rose at his fathers angered voice.

“He’s going to throw you across the room again.” You said through your teeth.

“Right. Of course.” Din said, rubbing his eyes. “Should we go outside?”

“Fine.” You sighed. Din always took you outside when he was ready to fight. Baby couldn’t hear you over the crashing waves.

You followed him out the back door and he turns around as soon as it closed with you both on the other side, “You know this is so typical you.”

“What?” Your eyes widened.

“You’re always so fucking lonely yet you push everyone away.”

You laughed, “Oh that’s so rich coming from you, Din.”

“Is it?!” He nodded.

“Mr. I Don’t Need Anyone Until I’m About To Lose Fucking! Everything!” You seethed as your voice already felt hoarse.

“OH!” Din exclaims, “I’m going to lose everything huh?”

“If you don’t let me take care of myself, yes. LOOK AT ME.” You cry. “I’M A FUCKING GHOST. AND SO ARE YOU.”

“AT LEAST I WONT FUCKING WALK OUT ON YOU.”

“I’m not walking out on you!” You screeched, in a tone of your own voice you didn’t recognize. “What are you not understanding? Din, my head feels like it’s going to explode and you won’t help me so I need to do this myself.”

“Sorry I can’t help, we do have a son to raise.”

“What the fuck? Who are you?” You asked in disgust as you crossed your arms and walked past him.

You walked only a few steps until you decided to say exactly how you felt.

“Do you know what you were like when I found you?” You spat.

“I found you.” Din said lowly.

“It doesn’t matter. Loving you was like loving a brick wall. It was so hard, Din. But I did it. I helped you raise your son and I held your hand while you figured out who the hell you were. And I did it all without you telling me what you needed, and I figured it out because I loved you. I would have done anything for you. Now I’m standing here screaming to you what I need and you won’t fucking help me.”

“What do you want from me?!” Din asked, his arms out in defeat.

“Have you been listening to me?! Get out of my face and get out of my fucking house!” You screamed.

“Your house?!”

“You are not doing this shit with me right now. You have a ship and I make more credits on one goddamn painting than you do in months.” You scoffed.

“You haven’t painted anything good enough to sell in half a year!”

“Because you’re killing me, Din!” You cried back immediately. Slapping your hand across your mouth from the truth of the words you let escape. Your other hand comes up to cradle the first and they’re both shaking.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. “This isn’t us.”

Din shakes his head slowly.

“Please Din, If you love me, you’ll let me do this.”

It was hard at first. Din and you agreed to four days at a time with Baby, Din living in Razor Crest on the other side of town. The first night you spent alone, you slept on the floor of Baby’s room. It was as far as you could crawl to when you told Din to “Just leave, he’s not going to stop.” and closed the door on him and your son who was crying for you.

It hurt to wake up to the quiet, to eat alone, paint alone. Your first session with Nora was even more of a disaster and you started to wonder if you made the right decision. The only thing you took away from it was her saying, “It hurts to become.” And this is what you chose to believe in, that this pain and uncertainty would be worth it. That when the rain washed you and Din clean, you’d know.

It hurt when Din wouldnt even look at you, how he didn’t even say a word when he first dropped off Baby. How you slid down the door and cried with Baby in your arms as he tried to heal something that he couldn’t.

But time keeps passing wether you’re ready or not and one day you just stop hurting. You don’t know why, or when the exact moment hits until you look up and you realize you’re breathing. You’re breathing and you’re sleeping through the night and it’s something to celebrate like a new born baby. You’re breathing and sleeping and eating properly. You can taste everything, your tea and pomegranates. Dark chocolate and crusty sourdough bread. You open up to Nora, finally and she takes you all the way back to your childhood. You’ve made your first friends as an adult and you realize how important that is, other women who live close by on the island and they are so wonderful. You’re painting, you’re painting incredible work and you’ve rearranged the whole house so it’s yours. Baby sleeps on his own and he’s happy, you’re in a routine and when Din comes to pick him up it doesn’t destroy you. Suddenly, you have a new normal. You are truly alright and you are so proud of yourself but something is missing. You still want to share every moment of your new normal with Din. Though you can get lost in your mind and it can scream so loud, there is stillness inside of you, every sunset you’ve ever seen and you were born to be a lover, and there is still only one person for you.

Later in the afternoon, long after your session with Nora, when you open the door for Din who’s back again to drop Baby off, you notice instantly that he has a beard. It’s patchy and it makes you smile, it looks soft and it’s greying at the sides and it makes you want to blurt out that you miss him. But you ask Baby how his day was instead.

“Wanna show mom what you learned?” Din asks his little green boy as he puts him in your arms, “Okay.”

Din makes a few small movements with his hands, and Baby copies them, slower and loose before looking up at you with a smile.

“It means ‘I love you.’” He mumbles, looking down.

You blink up at him and it feels like you must have forgotten how to breathe. It’s been so long since you heard those words pass through Din’s lips and it feels like the very first time.

“Do you want to come in?” You ask, your voice almost a whisper.

He looks a little puzzled and you continue, “I made dinner.”

Din’s mouth presses into a line, like he’s trying to suppress a smile. “Yeah. I would.”

“I like this.” You say, brushing the back of your finger along his jaw, letting him pass through the doorway, “You’re greying.”

“You just noticed now?”

“Yeah.” You sigh, “I guess so.”

Din sits across from you at the table you dragged out on to the beach a few months earlier and it feels like just how you always wanted life on the island to be. Baby in your lap, cackling into his dinner as the ocean crashes softly into the shore. Din smiling between bites of food and the sun reflecting off his skin makes him look so beautiful. You feel the breeze against your face and you want to live in this moment forever. Passing Baby between the two of you to take turns feeding him, the comfort in realizing you are both still exactly the same yet lighter. It’s like the afterlife between the bad and the inevitable try for resolution when you can just be alright. When everything is finally still and there is sweetness in the familiar small talk and how Din wears his t-shirt and thick black framed eyeglasses, the soft curls of his hair, and the exquisite angle of his nose. It’s like he’s coming back into focus again for the first time in months and you look down from how it overwhelms you.

As always, Baby falls asleep in Din’s lap before you’re finished and when you return to the beach from putting him to bed, Din tells you he should probably get going. He stands and your heart stops.

“Are you going because you want to or because you think you have to?”

“I don’t want to.” He shakes his head.

“Then don’t go.” You say out of breath.

Din sits back down without breaking his eye contact with you and you follow suit. You search his face for a moment unable to hold back.

“Din, I’m sorry.”

“No.” Din shakes his head but you continue.

“We were obviously never destined to be ordinary people and though I truly feel that this time a part was necessary, it just made me realize I don’t want to have these extraordinary problems with anyone else.”

“Please don’t be sorry.” Din shakes his head, closing his eyes. “I said I would be the ground beneath your feet and I wasn’t there for you.”

You smile meekly, “I miss you, Din. It’s always going to be you.”

“I miss you too.” He pauses. “I feel like I’ve learnt so much lately, and I have something to say to you. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” You breathe.

“Okay.” He nods. “I spent my whole life thinking that I was doing all that I could, that I’d never love my own face let alone love someone else. Then I met you and you brought me to life. You brought me to life, Y/N. I had seen the whole galaxy but now I was finally living in it because I was seeing it through your eyes. It was like I had everything. But I got too selfish with you. I thought since you were my home I could take you anywhere and we’d be okay, forgetting that your home is consistency and trust.”

“It’s okay, Din.” You sigh.

“No it’s not.” He shakes his head. “All you ever did was love me exactly how I needed it, like you just knew. And I ruined our home because all I needed was you.”

You look down, at a loss for words.

“You shouldn’t be sorry because I should be begging for your forgiveness. You loved me despite everything and I was too ashamed to say I was so scared of what I had done. I can’t lose you, Y/N. The sun does not rise and set for you because you are the sun. You are the sun. You are the moon. You are every star in the sky. You are everything. Please forgive me for what I’ve done.”

You look up at him, through the blurry vision of tear-filled eyes. “I forgive you, Din.”

“Thank you.” He chokes into the top of your hand, as he’s taken it to press his lips against. “Thank you, my sweet girl.”

You smile through your tears and you come around to his side of the table and Din pulls you into his lap.

“I love you so much.” He says into your neck as he holds you against him tightly, adjusting his arms to get you closer.

“I love you, too.” You run your hand through his hair, like you’ve wanted to for so long and Din lifts his face with your touch.

You see him. The face that looked so familiar even when you first saw it. The skin so breathtaking it makes you cry. The mouth you could watch speak into eternity with a voice that can move mountains. The nose that looks like it was carved from marble by an angel’s delicate hands. And the eyes. The eyes so full of love and loss they could stop any war, so deep and dark you could swim in them forever.

You hold his face in your hands and you are so full of joy because you can finally see him.

“There you are.” You whisper before pressing your lips to his, melting in the familiarity of his moustache brushing your skin.

Tags: @otherthingsinhead @aeryntheofficial @maryan028 @readsalot73 @osric-the-l3m0n-l0v3-demon @capsironunderoos @antclottz @intense-sneezing @igotmadskills @applesislife @marrvelle-fics @killtherandomness @holyground1996 @taoiichii @kyoko-yuuki @bookwormmarvel @xplrreylo @the-resident-demon @sad-anxious-girl @jaegers-and-kaijus @drinkfantasy @forbidden-darkness @hyveee @fangirlfreakingout @petalduck @fahhhhq @thatonebishsstuff @midnightsinger @jenniferdaniels12 @hiscyarika @tryn25 @raveviolet @watsonwise @aproperthottie @lettonystarkbehappydamnit @hyunjins-wife @lilwickedred @yellowbubblewrap @pascalisthepunkest @kate013 @french-lace-lavender

It’s all fluff and beauty from here on out. 4 more parts to go.

Love, Zelda

#the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #the mandalorian angst #the mandalorian fluff #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the mandalorian x reader #baby yoda #star wars fluff #star wars #star wars fanfiction #din djarin x reader #din djarin #loving din

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magioffire · 3 years

Note

13. entry made featuring mention of (sender’s) muse. :^)

dear diary prompt ; accepting

(the strikeouts are vali crossing shit out very angrily because he doesnt know how to spell a word the first time or not wanting to acknowledge something to even his diary after hes written it)

‘my traveling partner, octavo and i have been traveling westward for two fortnights and his being an incessant nusiance nuciance? nuisance has hindered me from keeping track of anything within this journal. it is exceptionally difficult to concentrate in the presence of a man who is so enamoured with the sound of his own voice. granted i cannot blame him, his voice is particularly nice and i can see how he became a court musician despite his contemptous contemptuous attitude and lack of noble birth. i am among the first to know if a man is to be audacious and yet lacking in blue blood and natural refinement, he must justify his insolence with raw talent. i respected octavo in that regard immediately, he and i are similar in that regard.’

week later

‘instead of traveling through the much safer south-west route through the forests, we were forced to make a detour when we were blocked off by a horde of undead infesting the forest we intended to travel through and destroying all the villages in their wake. octavo saved my life by manipulating the creatures with his bardic magic, controlling and fending off the undead, long enough for us to high tail it northward through a much more hazardous mountain pass. for two days we traveled through the mountain pass and the weather increasingly moved against us until we were caught behind a blizzard. if we had horses we might have outran the storm, but on foot we were much too slow to even have much time to seek shelter before the storm came upon us. neither of us are very suited for the cold, but he even less so being all skin and bones and barely any sinew and muscle to hold it all together (yet he still manages to hold himself like hes a man twice as strong).

it wasn’t long before he fell to the cold, i was sure i would lose my traveling partner and dare i say friend then, but even if i was sure he might die i wouldn’t have just left his body to freeze in the storm. so i picked him up, he forced me to let him walk for a while, until i found an outcropping between two junctions of the mountain that hardly could be called a cave, but it was enough. thankfully i had acted quick enough to save his life, but it has changed our relationship in some way. i did what i knew to do for someone suffering from hypothermia, and it is a very intimate procedure. i wont lie to even myself, i felt some sort of strange thrill being so close between straddling the line between life and death, precious warmth and eternal chill, being so close and our bodies pressed up against eachother.

i took on a much different perspective of him then, being exposed to another’s vulnerability tends to do that. yet i do not look upon him as weak, i just want to be close to him, like we were that night, but perhaps without the threat of death. it would be nice to feel his skin under my hands again but i would fear to brouch broach the subject for fear of being rejected and seen as an aggressor, or as desperate for the tiniest sliver of love. the last thing i want to appear foolish and desperate. i mean, i am a rather prideful person, just like him. after all, its just the two of us out here in the wilderness, who is here to judge? i feel myself wanting to play a role of protector, and protectee (is that even a word?), playing upon primal instincts maybe? does that even make sense? it doesnt make sense to me logically but in an emotional way, it does clearly make sense. it would be strange to even talk of such things with octavo, but i know it will have to get brought up eventually, i like to think of him as a fool but he is not. and it will happen again, its just a matter of whether or not either of us will admit to it.’

#bransles #ic.#ask.#you get TWO WHOLE journal entries #also it took me forever to find vali's writing voice

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recurring-polynya · 4 years

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Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc Recap, pt 7

Every single Bleach filler arc is at least 20% too long, and this is the part where it starts to get truly limp and saggy, so this recap is going to cover everything that happens up until we get to KOGA FLASHBACKS.

I realized that it’s been a minute since anyone cared about defeating their zanpakutou. I guess when Matsumoto and Hinamori defeated theirs, it didn’t count (maybe because they swapped opponents at the last second?) because Haineko and Tobiume are still on the Bad Guy Side.

To finish up the fights that were happening last time, Suzumebachi flits around Soi Fon and taunts her a bunch about how they are equally fast, but Suzumebachi is smaller and thus harder to hit, blah blah blah. If you’ve watched Bleach for any length of time, of course you know that Soi Fon’s hit-twice-in-the-same-place attack almost never works and that is exactly what happens here. Soi Fon simply goes into shunkou, Suzumebachi’s attack can’t penetrate her defense, and Soi Fon cuts her down, with a snide comment about how she doesn’t need her zanpakutou.

The arc already started going down this path during the Yumichika fight, and honestly, it’s such an odd choice, in an arc about the characters confronting their sword spirits to have multiple characters just take the stance, “I honestly don’t need you” and just... go with it?

But that’s what we’re doing today, I guess, because then Mayuri hits the self-destruct on Ashisogi Jizou. At least that was short. I am pretty sure the main thing we learned here is that depending on your zanpakutou is for chumps, round out your skill set. I am definitely not sure how I feel about any of this.

I think that’s actually going to conclude the charts for this arc, so let’s just finish that up with this depressing conclusion:

At the end of the fight, Yoruichi shows up with exposition, as is her wont. She has located the Captain Commander, he’s down in that stupid cave.

Kyouraku and Ukitake finally come out of hiding to go along with everyone who’s not grievously injured (Ichigo, Yoruichi and Zaraki) to go storm the cave and rescue Yamamoto.

Once they get in the cave, it is very, very obvious that the zanpakutou are just playing with them. I do want to note that at one point, Ukitake, who is utterly defenseless against his adorable zanpakutou, yells “You are bad children!” at them. Can you imagine? Can you imagine if Ukitake yelled “you are a bad child!” at you? I, personally, would die.

In any case, Ichigo arrives at the glowing triangle that Yamamoto is encased in. Yamamoto keeps sending little spurts of flame out of it. Muramasa is like, “please, Ichigo, do not destroy this glowing pyramid that I have definitely encased the Captain Commander in myself, that would be horrible.”

Look, we all knew this was going to happen and it happens. Ichigo destroys the glowing pyramid. Muramasa cackles “all goes according to my plans!” Oh, gee, surprise, Yamamoto put himself in the pyramid because Muramasa’s game from the beginning has been to get Ryuujin Jakka. Ichigo is immediately very sorry. Everyone tells Ichigo this is not his fault in a way that definitely implies it is his fault, but let’s be real: maybe the Captain Commander could have, like, left a note? Had a plan for this contingency? Not depended on a teen from another dimension to discern the subtleties of his plans?

It is no matter. Ryuujin Jakka doesn’t really have an embodiment, it’s just flames and it loves burninatin’. It traps everyone in a wall of flame as Muramasa ollies off to the Living World.

Bleach 247 is such a precious episode to me because it has two of the greatest lines in all of Bleach. First off, because they have nothing better to do, the Captain Commander reveals that Muramasa was the zanpakutou of Koga, some dude who tried to foment rebellion in the Seireitei, but he was eventually defeated and sealed away (in Karakura Town, of all places, apparently?) Kyouraku is like, hold on, why haven’t I heard of this, and Yamamoto replies “It was a secret act that was never recorded.” This is up there with “mistakes were made” in terms of admitting you did something and taking utterly no responsibility for it. My husband and I have used “it was a secret act that was never recorded” to make excuses for things for years. It is peak Yamamoto. It is perfect.

THEN, Hitsugaya and Hyourinmaru show up to save everyone from dying painfully, and after receiving the recap of the recap, Hitsugaya is like “what have you people been doing?” and Kyouraku replies, “Let’s just say, the situation is terrible.” THEY LET THIS MAN BE THE NEXT CAPTAIN COMMANDER BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DID.

Okay, okay, back to the Living World. Orihime finds Muramasa just as he’s coughing again, and she heals him, because she is a Precious Ray of Sunshine. He’s very salty about it. Chad and Ishida show up to help and the episode ends with it looking like they might have to fight Byakuya and/or Senbonzakura. I cannot tell you enough how much I would like to see Orihime fight and defeat Byakuya, I think she could do it.

Surprisingly enough, next episode, Ishida actually does fight Senbonzakura and it goes... surprisingly well, actually. My favorite part of this is that when he shows up, Chad immediately announces “That’s Kuchiki Byakuya’s Senbonzakura!” Let us all recall that Ichigo, who has actually fought Byakuya before, took about three episodes to figure this out. Chad reads the wiki, I guess, or possibly carries around a little notebook like Midoriya on BHNA. There’s a reason he’s #2 in the class. I think a really amazing ending to this arc would be for the shinigami to show up in the Living World and to have Chad, Orihime, and Ishida to just have defeated Muramasa, that would be have great. Unfortunately that is not what happens. We do get a trip to Chad’s Inner World, tho, which is just Mexico. Muramasa takes to form of his grandfather and gut-punches him and that’s all we get. I mean, I have no objection to a Mexico-based Inner World and I am always up for an Oscar Joaquin de la Rosa cameo, but it would have been cool to be more stylized, possibly inspired by Mexican surrealist art and the magical realism of Gabriel García Márquez, both of which I headcanon that Chad is really into. I honestly would have blown my entire budget for this story arc on Chad’s Inner World, is what I am saying, had I been in charge, which I was not.

Once again, I am off topic. Rukia shows up. Some Hollows show up. Muramasa undoes the binding on Koga and he emerges, looking like Mumm-Ra from Thundercats. Ichigo shows up, late as usual and having no idea what’s going on, as usual. It’s okay, though, because it is absolute time for some VINTAGE KUCHIKI BULLSHIT FLASHBACKS!!! Well, by “it is time” I mean, next episode, so please come back for what I am sure will be some lovingly rendered Kuchiki Ginrei Shitpost Comics.

#zanpakutou rebellion arc #bleach filler #my body is ready #for some kuchiki bullshit #it's probably only one episode's worth #i don't even remember #give me all the insufferable ginrei #i regret everything about trying to draw Ashisogi Jizou #worst zanpakutou hands down

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thepatriotplace-blog · 4 years

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The Patriot Warrior Class

Its been awhile since I’ve posted on Tumblr. In fact I actually kind of forgot I had the account. I created this account a few years ago and I named it “the patriot place”. Pretty self explanatory.

Let me tell you about me. I am first and foremost a patriotic American. I have always called myself a patriot. I’ve been a libertarian party member for many years. I’ve voted in many POTUS general elections for the libertarian candidate (with the exception of 2x). I’ve always had a deep love for the US constitution have spoken out about the blatant corruption of the constitution that has been going on in America my whole life.

I also consider myself a warrior. Although I have never served in the military I was a police officer for 25 years and have since retired. My duties as a police officer included SWAT and emergency tactical medicine. I have been trained by the best warriors America has to offer.

Since the election of Donald Trump (who I didn’t vote for) I have seen the rapid decay of the Libertarian Party. It has become polluted with progressives, pedophiles and people suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome. My interactions with the neo-libertarians has been sad. Justin Amash has completely flipped in my view and I align more with Rand Paul than I do with Ron Paul. Jo Jorgesen who is the Libertarian’s Party POTUS candidate is and her public support of a Marxist organization was the last straw for me. I am no longer a member of the libertarian party.

I now consider myself a member of the patriot warrior class. I am prepared to fight and die for the Republic and its constitution. I took an oath to uphold the constitution of the United States and that doesn’t end when there is (Ret.) at the end of my name. There are many like me. Men and women who served and are currently serving to protect our Republic who believe in what I believe in are what will save this country from the Marxist insurrection, which is back politically by the Democrat Party and financed by the CCP and George Soros that is taking place within the US’s borders.

The neo-libertarians wont fight for the Republic. They are feckless and nothing more than internet bottle throwers and trolls. Their mentality is the same as the progressives, ‘Burn it down at all costs to get Trump out.”

The single most important event that turned the page in this chapter in my life had to be Trump’s speech at the National Archives Museum on Constitution Day. I have never heard a politician since Reagan deliver a speech more patriotic than this speech. I’ve included the transcript of that speech. So I will end this post with this.... In 2020 I will vote Vote Trump.

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you very much. Thank you, Mike. A great Vice President. I am truly honored to be here at the very first White House Conference on American History. So important.

Our mission is to defend the legacy of America’s founding, the virtue of America’s heroes, and the nobility of the American character. We must clear away the twisted web of lies in our schools and classrooms, and teach our children the magnificent truth about our country. We want our sons and daughters to know that they are the citizens of the most exceptional nation in the history of the world. (Applause.)

To grow up in America is to live in a land where anything is possible, where anyone can rise, and where any dream can come true — all because of the immortal principles our nation’s founders inscribed nearly two and a half centuries ago.

That’s why we have come to the National Archives, the sacred home of our national memory. In this great chamber, we preserve our glorious inheritance: the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights.

On this very day in 1787, our Founding Fathers signed the Constitution at Independence Hall in Philadelphia. It was the fulfillment of a thousand years of Western civilization. Our Constitution was the product of centuries of tradition, wisdom, and experience. No political document has done more to advance the human condition or propel the engine of progress.

Yet, as we gather this afternoon, a radical movement is attempting to demolish this treasured and precious inheritance. We can’t let that happen. (Applause.) Left-wing mobs have torn down statues of our founders, desecrated our memorials, and carried out a campaign of violence and anarchy. Far-left demonstrators have chanted the words “America was never great.” The left has launched a vicious and violent assault on law enforcement — the universal symbol of the rule of law in America. These radicals have been aided and abetted by liberal politicians, establishment media, and even large corporations.

Whether it is the mob on the street, or the cancel culture in the boardroom, the goal is the same: to silence dissent, to scare you out of speaking the truth, and to bully Americans into abandoning their values, their heritage, and their very way of life.

We are here today to declare that we will never submit to tyranny. We will reclaim our history and our country for citizens of every race, color, religion, and creed.

The radicals burning American flags want to burn down the principles enshrined in our founding documents, including the bedrock principle of equal justice under law. In order to radically transform America, they must first cause Americans to lose confidence in who we are, where we came from, and what we believe. As I said at Mount Rushmore — which they would love to rip down and it rip it down fast, and that’s never going to happen — two months ago, the left-wing cultural revolution is designed to overthrow the American Revolution.

As many of you testified today, the left-wing rioting and mayhem are the direct result of decades of left-wing indoctrination in our schools. It’s gone on far too long. Our children are instructed from propaganda tracts, like those of Howard Zinn, that try to make students ashamed of their own history.

The left has warped, distorted, and defiled the American story with deceptions, falsehoods, and lies. There is no better example than the New York Times’ totally discredited 1619 Project. This project rewrites American history to teach our children that we were founded on the principle of oppression, not freedom.

Nothing could be further from the truth. America’s founding set in motion the unstoppable chain of events that abolished slavery, secured civil rights, defeated communism and fascism, and built the most fair, equal, and prosperous nation in human history. (Applause.)

The narratives about America being pushed by the far-left and being chanted in the streets bear a striking resemblance to the anti-American propaganda of our adversaries — because both groups want to see America weakened, derided, and totally diminished.

Students in our universities are inundated with critical race theory. This is a Marxist doctrine holding that America is a wicked and racist nation, that even young children are complicit in oppression, and that our entire society must be radically transformed. Critical race theory is being forced into our children’s schools, it’s being imposed into workplace trainings, and it’s being deployed to rip apart friends, neighbors, and families.

A perfect example of critical race theory was recently published by the Smithsonian Institution. This document alleged that concepts such as hard work, rational thinking, the nuclear family, and belief in God were not values that unite all Americans, but were instead aspects of “whiteness.” This is offensive and outrageous to Americans of every ethnicity, and it is especially harmful to children of minority backgrounds who should be uplifted, not disparaged.

Teaching this horrible doctrine to our children is a form of child abuse in the truest sense of those words. For many years now, the radicals have mistaken Americans’ silence for weakness. But they’re wrong.

There is no more powerful force than a parent’s love for their children. And patriotic moms and dads are going to demand that their children are no longer fed hateful lies about this country. American parents are not going to accept indoctrination in our schools, cancel culture at our work, or the repression of traditional faith, culture, and values in the public square. Not anymore. (Applause.) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much.

We embrace the vision of Martin Luther King, where children are not judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

The left is attempting to destroy that beautiful vision and divide Americans by race in the service of political power. By viewing every issue through the lens of race, they want to impose a new segregation, and we must not allow that to happen.

Critical race theory, the 1619 Project, and the crusade against American history is toxic propaganda, ideological poison that, if not removed, will dissolve the civic bonds that tie us together. It will destroy our country.

That is why I recently banned trainings in this prejudiced ideology from the federal government and banned it in the strongest manner possible. (Applause.)

The only path to national unity is through our shared identity as Americans. That is why it is so urgent that we finally restore patriotic education to our schools.

Under our leadership, the National Endowment for the Humanities has awarded a grant to support the development of a pro-American curriculum that celebrates the truth about our nation’s great history. (Applause.)

We are joined by some of the respected scholars involved in this project, including Professor Wilfred McClay. Wilfred, please. Thank you very much. Welcome. (Applause.) Thank you. Dr. Peter Wood of the National Association of Scholars. Dr. Peter. (Applause.) Thank you. Thank you. And Ted Rebarber. Thank you, Ted. (Applause.) Thank you very much, Ted.

Today, I am also pleased to announce that I will soon sign an Executive Order establishing a national commission to promote patriotic education. It will be called the “1776 Commission.” (Applause.) Thank you. Thank you. It will encourage our educators to teach our children about the miracle of American history and make plans to honor the 250th anniversary of our founding. Think of that — 250 years.

Recently, I also signed an executive order to establish the National Garden of American Heroes, a vast outdoor park that will feature the statues of the greatest Americans who have ever lived.

Today, I am announcing a new name for inclusion. One of the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence was a patriot from Delaware. In July of 1776, the Continental Congress was deadlocked during the debate over independence. The delegation from Delaware was divided. Caesar Rodney was called upon to break the tie.

Even though he was suffering from very advanced cancer — he was deathly ill — Rodney rode 80 miles through the night, through a severe thunderstorm, from Dover to Philadelphia to cast his vote for independence.

For nearly a century, a statue of one of Delaware’s most beloved citizens stood in Rodney Square, right in the heart of Wilmington.

But this past June, Caesar Rodney’s statue was ordered removed by the mayor and local politicians as part of a radical purge of America’s founding generation.

Today, because of an order I signed, if you demolish a statue without permission, you immediately get 10 years in prison. (Applause.) And there have been no statues demolished for the last four months, incredibly, since the time I signed that act.

Joe Biden said nothing as to his home state’s history and the fact that it was dismantled and dismembered. And a Founding Father’s statue was removed.

Today, America will give this Founding Father, this very brave man, who was so horribly treated, the place of honor he deserves. I am announcing that a statue of Caesar Rodney will be added to the National Garden of American Heroes. (Applause.)

From Washington to Lincoln, from Jefferson to King, America has been home to some of the most incredible people who have ever lived. With the help of everyone here today, the legacy of 1776 will never be erased. Our heroes will never be forgotten. Our youth will be taught to love America with all of their heart and all of their soul.

We will save this cherished inheritance for our children, for their children, and for every generation to come. This is a very important day.

Thank you all once again for being here. Now I will sign the Constitution Day Proclamation. God Bless You. And God Bless America. Thank you very much.

#trump #nationalarchives #libertarian #liberty #freedom #trump2020 #potus45 #potustrump

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cartoon-wave · 5 years

Text

translated villainous pilot script

hello i took the time to translate the villanos pilot, my native tongue is spanish so forgive the grammar and if anything sounds weird its my fault heh... If anyone is adding subtitles to the spanish video feel free to take this script, since i dont know how to add subtitles to videos myself.

also this wont make sense unless you are watching the video so, go look for it first.

“THE ATROCIOUS DAWN”

___________________________________________

SUNBLAST: Did you have enough, villainess? PENUMBRA: Let me explain- SUNBLAST: Get out! The only reason you aren't in prison right now is because I enjoy defeating you.

PENUMBRA: Disgusting SunBlast and his idiot fans. I'd give anything just for him to leave me-*Screens flickering*... alone?

TV: Black Hat here- Are you a villain in distress? Evil is our business and business is good-

BH: Problems with heroes?

_________________________________

HERO #2: Admit it Flug you're a failure. You should rename yourself "DR. FAILURE". It doesn’t matter how many times you try.

Flug: Shut up! You! GOLDIE (he says “Doradito” i believe)

FLUG: Jefecito chulo! (Boss)

BH: Well, well, well, that was a... Wonderful job Doctor

FLUG: (sobbing) Ay híjole, I don't know what to say Boss... thank you very much

BH: And another thing... MAYDAY. MAYDAY.MAYDAY. (flug's alarm clock beeps)

FLUG: At least it was just a dream and not the recurrent nightmares i have

FLUG: Okay, time to execute the morning routine FLUG: STEP 1. Wake everyone up.

5.0.5.: (Snores)

FLUG: Good morning Pachoncito (Fluffy) FLUG: Don't forget to NOT clean Black Hat's office again or he'll make you look at your own guts, again.

(5.0.5. salutes)

FLUG: What's next on the list? UGH.

(Demencia laughs)

Hero #3 idk his name: Speak again villain, what's your evil plan!

FLUG: Breakfast

Hero #3: Breakfast? Hey that doesn't sound very evil, what's on the menu- (screams)

Hero #3: that wasn't breakfast

Demencia: (laughs hysterically while Flug says good morning to her)

FLUG: okay, let's do something easier today. Just go change clothes.

DEMENCIA: Never! Pajamas forever!

FLUG: Come here you madwoman! Rules can't be bent as if they were- MY BACK (yelps) this. is. hurting. me. a. lot. (high pitch scared sound when he sees BH) G-good morning Boss, how may I be of your service?

BH: (deep distorted voice) A client of name Penumbra made a call to our organization seeking for help to destroy a problematic hero.

FLUG: What and the poor thing can't do it on her own?

PENUMBRA: (Coughs)

FLUG: Ay la llorona!*

PENUMBRA: I'm not a crybaby! It's just that he can't be reasoned with! He's always bothering me when I try to cover up the sun so it doesn't burn me alive.

FLUG: Don't worry madame. I always have a backup plan for nuisances like that.

FLUG: I'm not gonna fail you Boss.

BH: I expect that Dr. BH: For your own good. ___________________________

DEMENCIA: Look at him... he's so vile. So evil. Owww, remind me why I'm leaving this cutie alone

FLUG: Because we are in a mission. And he's not alone, he's with Penumbra.

DEMENCIA: (grunts)

FLUG: If you break another phone again I won't be giving you another one, not one more!

(SIGN READS: Welcome to ATRENO CITY "Where sun always shine bright")

FLUG: Yeah yeah he looks strong, but this should be easy if you can fully adhere to my plan.

DEMENCIA: We don't need a dumb plan. We just need to kick his super

ass- To hell with it! I'll do it myself. Where is he?!

FLUG: I'll explain it to you Demencia. To find a hero you need to get

inside his head, literally.

COP: Wait a moment... You can only park on the statue on Sundays!

FLUG: Alright. Now that we successfully infiltrated in the city, It's

time to execute MY plan to defeat SunBlast. Your attention, please.

FLUG: FIRST, I'm gonna track his position. SECOND, 5.0.5. is gonna

cover me. THIRD, 'Dumbmencia'... You can help by not getting in the

way.

FLUG: Follow the plan and remember! You must TAKE him by surprise,

don't let it be like the last time when- (sound of explosion) What was

that?

DEMENCIA: Where are you Captain Sunburn? Where are you coward? Come and

face me!

FLUG: DAUGHTER OF A LIZARD (a play on 'Son of a b*tch') WHAT DID I JUST

TELL YOU?! STAY STILL

DEMENCIA: There you are

SUNBLAST: A nerd? I. Hate. NERDS

DEMENCIA: haha! the sun is going DOWN

FLUG: Demencia! You are ruining my evil plan.

SUNBLAST: You're a villain on top of a nerd?

FLUG: Great, now we have to jump to the 30th step of my plan. (Pulls

ray) The Chillator. Fluffy, cover me. (5.0.5 hugs him) I didn't mean I wanted a bear hug!

DEMENCIA: huh? (falls down) This changes nothing you coward!

(the next part is just inaudible grunts and their asses getting kicked)

FLUG: Team blackhat was defeated again! (This is a pokemon reference

since Flug's spanish voice actor dubbed James in the pokemon anime)

____________________________________

FLUG: HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT THIS? YOU. HAVE. TO. FOLLOW. MY. PLAN.

DEMENCIA: Your plan sucks

(alert message reads: Intruder detected -warning-)

FLUG: Oh my god he's coming here and I don't have a plan (scribbles)

no! not this! not this either-

DEMENCIA: Leave him to me- I don't need my left side- I just need my love for my Black Hat

COP: You guys forgot your ticket

SUNBLAST: YES, lead me to her.

FLUG: 5.0.5. What did you do?! Now he's following us to the island. If Black Hat finds out, he's gonna slap our hands-

BH: I see you are on your way back. Then, you must have FINISHED.

FLUG: Y-yes Sir Black Hat.. Everything's going according to the plan

PENUMBRA: Did you catch him?

FLUG: Yeah we did, fell straight into our trap, we're even going to do a special delivery so you can see his defeat in person

BH: I'm impatient.

FLUG: We're on our way (screams)

DEMENCIA: She's even uglier in person

FLUG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. Aren't you seeing this, we're done

for! And all because YOU can't follow step by step the precious plan I

made with so much effort. AND NOW THERE IS NO PRECIOUS PLAN LEFT. AND

SUNBLAST IS NOW FOLLOWING US TO BLACKHAT ISLAND. WHERE LORD BLACK HAT IS EXPECTING US TO DO A WRESTLING MOVE ON HIM THE WAY ONLY US KNOW HOW TO... Do?

FLUG: Now there IS a nice plan ___________________________________

SUNBLAST: Where is she? I know she hired you to get rid of me.

FLUG: SunBlast, he he he. I was expecting you to come. Oof, Fluffy,

you're too heavy, get down!! please (wheeze)

SUNBLAST: Nobody knew of me before coming to ATRINO, you think I'm

going to lose my popularity just because Penumbra and a bunch of nerds

are afraid of getting a tan? Hah! I'm gonna get rid of her and the lot

of you. NERDS

FLUG: Don't you say. Because I've been looking to destroy you all day,

thinking about plans and making my team follow it. But I thought they

weren't paying attention, then I realized that it was me who needed to

pay attention to them. Fluffy! Cover him.

SUNBLAST: Get off me chubby!

SUNBLAST: Ah, it's her again, so what? She couldn't keep up with me

last time, what's the difference?

FLUG: Not to be nosy, but he said Penumbra and Black Hat made a cute couple.

(Demencia growls)

SUNBLAST: Whats wrong with you?! crazy woman! SUNBLAST: I'm still stronger, shorties!

FLUG: Is that so? (Pulls lever that reads: Nuisance Remover) FLUG: Aw you poor thing

PENUMBRA: Impressing! Marvelous!

FLUG: A mini-hero defeated. For lady Penumbra.

PENUMBRA: Finally. You and me are going to have a long conversation.

SUNBLAST: No... Noooo

PENUMBRA: Thank you Mister Black Hat. Your team made an excellent job.

Now I can use SunBlast's power to create a cure for my skin condition.

How can I repay your marvelous services?

BH: It was a pleasure to make a deal with you Lady Penumbra.(Deep

distorted voice) Now get out.

PENUMBRA: B-bye... Goodbye!

BH: You made a job that was exceptionally... MEDIOCRE. BH: HOW DARE YOU BRING A PATHETIC HERO TO MY DOMAINS. YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T REALIZE? YOU TAKE ME FOR AN IDIOT?

DEMENCIA: Anddd... what is the plan, Doc?

FLUG:... Run.

_____________________________

PENUMBRA: And that is the reason why I needed to create the machine

(sigh) See, you're a good listener... Sunblast? Sunblast! Aw, he's

asleep.

#villainous #villanos #translation

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amnachil · 4 years

Text

To the Perfection Chapter 3 Part 1

And here it is! The beginning of the last chapter! I hope you’ll like it.

Thomas Monday April 22

Joël offered him some water. The ginger didn't know why he knocked at the door. Why he came in his friend's bedroom. But here he was, hunched on the bed, feeling worst than he ever had. What have I done ? What the hell have I done ?!

"Sooo are we gonna talk about why you showed up in the middle of the night at my place with the sadest expression you could think of ?" asked the other.

"No."

"Oh okay."

Joël stood up and opened the door. Thomas looked at him, disconcerted. What is he doing ?

"Since you don't wanna talk you can leave." he said. "We have class tomorow and I need to sleep. You know where the exit is."

"You'll let your depressed friend leave on his own in the middle of the night ?" asked the ginger, astonished.

"My friend would talk to me." countered Joël.

A blank followed. Thomas lowered his eyes. I don't even know why I came here ? He won't be any help.

"Fuck it." mumbled Joël. "Look man, I decided years ago I would NOT be involved in any drama with you and Cody. You two are soooo complicated. I always acted nice with both of you and I always tried to let you as much space as you needed. I saw you withdraw but I never blamed you for anything. But that's it. I'm done with both of you and aaaaall your craps. DONE you hear me ? So what do you want Thomy ? Talk or get the fuck out of my place ?"

The ginger glanced at his friend. This one wasn't kidding.

"Talk." he finally whispered. "I want to talk."

"Okay. Let me go grab some ice cream and a strong coffee. I know, orange flavored ice cream for you."

Thomas watched him leave, surprised. He knows that ? How ?

It took some time for them to get more comfortable. Thomas stayed in the bed, and Joël sat cozily on his pouffe. And then, silent. The ginger took a big breath in.

"I'm not really in a relationship with Ilhan." he started. "We're not a couple."

"Sooo... you're not gay ?"

"I'm in love with Dan, Raphaël's boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now."

"So you're gay ?"

"I've been in love for five years and I wanted to be with him. So I did a plan to ruin Raphaël and his relationship. Turn out it worked and they broke up. Or I think so. Anyway, I'm a monster."

"Yup, definitely gay."

Thomas sat up straight and glared at Joël.

"Yes dude, I'm fucking gay ! Can you go past that already ?!"

"Sorry if this is a big news for me ! It's not like if I was always talking to you about girls and how cute they were but close enough ! Dude I feel so dumb now ! You could've warned a man !"

The ginger didn't reply, completely caught out. What the hell is he babbling about ?

"Damn buddy, I must've been so annoying with all my waffle about girls ! I'm sorry !"

"What the fuck are you apologising for ?! I'm gay, not anti-girl you fucker."

Joël made a face.

"Really ? Cool."

He sank into his pouffe and slurped a big swallow of his coffee.

"You can continue now." he invited.

He must be kidding me.

"I love Dan." he said anyway. "The man living with me."

His voice broke. I hurt him so much. I'm so stupid.

"Okay, cool." mumbled his friend but he didn't seem impressed at all. "What about Ilhan ? What is he to you ?"

"A fuck buddy I guess ? I'm just fucking him when I need to release the pressure of being around Dan. Which is every night or so."

Joël licked the ice cream he had on his finger. Why on earth I'm talking to him ?

"Sooo... Is that you who fattened both of them ? For your fetish ?"

"What is it about your weird questions ?"

"You did it or not ?"

Thomas grunted. I think he's missing the point here.

"Yes." he said nonetheless. "I fattened them. How do you know that ?"

"Man, when you fatten someone, they usually become FAT. It's not something you can hide." explained very seriously Joël.

"I don't mean that asshole ! How did you understand it was my doing ?"

"Oh c'mon dude... I know you since kindergarten and you seriously thought I would not notice how many of our acquaintances ended up chubby while they were hanging out with you ? Do you think I'm dumb ?"

Something like that yes. Thomas held his comment. This whole conversation was senseless.

"Anyway back to the topic." continued Joël. "So you and Ilhan are only having sex. Does he know that too ?"

What kind of question is it ? We don't care about this idiot !

"Of course he's." replied the ginger sharply. "What do you imply ? Do you think I would've forced him to have sex only to satiate my selfish desire ?"

"I don't know man, DID you ?"

A blank followed. Thomas grabbed the nearest pillow and hide his head in it. The soft touch made him think about Dan, which was more painful than anything else right now.

"Yeah." he piteously admitted. '"I totally did that. I'm not even sure he's gay... But he never said no ! It was consensual !"

"Okay, okay, I believe that." assured Joël. "Would've been pretty uncool to wake up my father the sheriff to arrest you for rape."

"Jo ! I never did such a thing !"

His friend pouted.

"So you're in love with Dan." he recalled. "Raphaël's boyfriend."

"Yeah. To my defense, I already loved him before they got together." precised Thomas. "And it was very hard to see them all the time. They looked so perfect ! It became worst when Dan moved in and my mom left. I just couldn't control myself, I wanted him so badly ! Note that is why I slept with Ilhan and this is totally Gregory's fault because he gave me the idea. Anyway, that's when Darren showed up."

Joël's whistled, suddenly more interested.

"Another dude ! This is better than the cheesy show my mom watch every night !"

For god sake. Just shut up.

"So I kind of thought Darren and Raphaël had an affair. No, I just decided they were having one because it was the best way to make Dan jealous. I managed to make him doubt my brother. Then I talked with Darren, who turned out to be the old bully of Raphaël in middle school, and I charged them in front of Dan. He was so heart-broken and mad, he didn't thought twice about it and he blamed my big bro. This one ran away and he hadn't contacted us since. And tonight, I almost slept with Dan who was drunk and that's when I realised I had just broke his heart and probalby Raphaël's one too."

A blank followed. Joël processed the whole thing slowly.

"Okay. So a lot of shit happened. What about Cody ?"

"What about him ?"

"Man, you literally turned the whole school against him. Was it only for what he said about your fake couple with Ilhan ?"

The ginger lowered his head, ashamed of himself.

"Actually, he never said that. I was pissed because I thought he was spying for Raphaël and trying to mess with me so I gave him an underserved lesson."

Joël finished his coffee. He's taking all that surprinsingly well. To be honest, saying things out loud was soothing. Thomas was realising slowly how awful and selfish he had been. And how many people I hurt in the process.

"What's the deal between you and Raphaël anyway ?" asked finally his friend.

The ginger didn't understand the question. Is he off track or what ? I just told him the whole picture.

"He's dating my crush dumbass." he explained again.

"Oh big news there." said ironically Joël. "You want me to believe you were ready to literally destroy your brother's life only for your teenage crush ? I get you could be jealous of him. Maybe you could have resented him a little. But it seems to me like you utterly hate the dude. Who, I want to recall, is your BIG BROTHER, the man who took care of you since birth and who's always saying you're his precious little brother. You know, your number one fan..."

Thomas opened his mouth. Closed it. That's... He never thought about it that way.

"Buddy, was Dan the real problem here or were you trying to make a point ?" asked Joël. "Because I would totally understand if you had tried to conquer the person you loved. But to me, it looks like you were more preoccupied by the idea of surpassing Raphaël than having Dan."

"I... I don't know." whispered the ginger.

It was true he was obsessed with Raphaël. He was always thinking about him. About how to be more perfect than him.

"My big bro is... the best man on earth." he confessed with sadness. "It's so hard to be in his shadow. To be behind him. I mean, he's everything I want. He's successful, handsome, always acting logically... Man, am I just desesparate to be him ?"

"Something like that maybe ?"

Thomas didn't realise he was crying until he felt a tear fall on his cheek. What I've done ? I'm the worst person ever... The worst friend, the worst lover and the worst brother.

"Okay I think this is enough for one night." decided Joël. "We'll work through this starting tomorow."

"Why ?"

"Why what ?"

"Why are you helping me ? I've caused only problems to everyone."

"Yeah, glad you realise that now dummy. Just give me some space in MY bed now, it's sleep time."

Cody Monday April 22

< Jo : ThOmy's FeelnG sIcK. WoNt be tHerE todAy. >

It was the text Cody recieved this early morning. He decided to go turn a blind eye to the awful spelling of his friend. Something weird is going on. First Ilhan who revealed that his relationship with the ginger wasn't sane and now that. There are too many things I don't understand. Why Thomas had decided to fuck his friend out of the blue three months ago ? And why he had done it almost everynight then ? Ilhan hadn't detailed much. I know they have sex and he wants it to stop. But what are Thomas's motivations ? Why would he do something like that ? Apparently, he had decided to fake the couple thing in order to avoid complications. So was he only desesperate for sex ? I would have help him on that. Cody blushed. No he didn't thought that at all.

"Hey dude." greeted Ilhan.

He waved him and they walked to class. The dark-haired lad sighed. He had asked Ilhan time before he had to give him an answer. He needs my help to get rid of Thomas. And me, I want Thomas. Maybe he could learn some tips about what had attracted the ginger in the first place ?

"Did you thought about what I said ?" whispered Ilhan. "Because I fear the moment he'll come back at my place."

"Actually, I did." replied Cody. "And yes, I'll help you. Come to my home this evening and we'll talk more about it."

Dan Monday April 22

One bell. Two. Three. Voicemail. Again. The college student let out a sob.

"Please Raphaël..." he lamented.

Another day filled with silent. Trapped here with his guilt. He had already thought about moving back at his parent's place but he wasn't sure he would be able to face them. He couldn't look Shirley nor Carol in the eye. He couldn't talk with Thomas. He was facing his conscience. Because he had hurt the only person he wanted to see.

To be continued

A really big Thomas’s pov... We’ll be centered around him for a while anyway.

Joel is... I love Joel. And he’s done with that shit.

#to the perfection #TP #Thomas #Cody #Dan #it's time for some talks #Thomas you've work to do on yourself #A lot of Thomas #Joel is a dork #And he's fun #Chapter 3 #Part 1

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