#but to reiterate…gosh it still hurts

[age-of-moonknight]

“Homecoming,” Moon Knight Annual (Vol. 3/2022), #1

Writer: Jed MacKay; Artist: Federico Sabbatini; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[bellaxgiornata]

All These Years [Part 7: "So Close Yet So Far"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

[You can find the full series summary and masterlist of installments for All These Years here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 4.6k

a/n: Apparently the next installment flew out of me quicker than anticipated so here you go--hopefully it sufficiently frustrates you by the end! Feedback is always appreciated!

Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella @ms-murdockswift @margoo0 @1988-fiend @lockleywife @strangeobsessed @justalittlebitbored

You stood there eyeing the brick building with your head tilted to the side, one of your fingers tapping along your coffee cup. A brow rose curiously onto your forehead as your focus lingered on the hardware store sign above you. Glancing over your shoulder, you shot Foggy and Matt a look.

The smile that had been on Foggy’s face vanished immediately. 

“You don’t like it?” he asked.

“What? No, I didn’t say that!” you quickly answered.

Foggy’s attention shifted to Matt next to him, his shoulders dropping in defeat. “Dude, she doesn’t like it,” he told him.

Your eyes widened as you saw Matt’s face visibly fall next, his disappointment impossible to miss even with his dark glasses covering part of his face. 

It had also been exceptionally hard to ignore how attractive he looked today with how he was dressed–vastly different than he’d ever dressed in college. He was wearing a blue dress shirt and a navy tie with a pair of tight fitting slacks. You’d shamefully been unable to avoid looking at his ass while Foggy was guiding him ahead of you down the sidewalk, having to mentally remind yourself that you were with Liam now. You shouldn’t have been checking out your friend’s ass–but my God, you were certain it had somehow gotten larger and more muscular than you remembered it in college. You couldn’t exactly refrain from looking when it was right there.

“I did not say that!” you exclaimed.

“And here I thought you’d be a supportive friend,” Matt said, rounding on you next. “We take a leap of faith and open our own law firm and you don’t like our office?”

You waved a hand frantically at the brick building before the three of you. “It’s a hardware store!” you pointed out.

“No,” Foggy disagreed, shaking his head at you. “It’s next to the hardware store.”

Your eyes followed the sweeping movement of his hand as he gestured to the door beside the hardware store. Chewing the inside of your cheek, you bit back your next comment. The door was unmarked and looked like it was part of the business beside it.

“You don’t like it,” Foggy reiterated, staring at you.

“It’s just–it’s a bit confusing where your office actually is,” you admitted. 

“We’ll make a sign,” Foggy assured you. “Eventually. But why don’t you actually come in and see it?”

“Sure, I'd love to,” you said, waving your hand at the door. “Lead the way Nelson and Murdock.”

Foggy’s grin immediately returned as he grabbed Matt’s arm and led the pair of them to the door. You followed behind, stepping into the building and making your way down the long hallway past a few other offices as you went. Eventually Foggy came to a stop in front of a door with a piece of paper taped to the glass. In black marker it read ‘Nelson & Murdock, Attorneys at Law’ and you couldn’t resist the smile that instantly spread over your mouth. They really had gone and rented an office and started a firm this morning.

Foggy took a moment to unlock the door before swinging it open. He turned towards you, a bright smile still plastered across his face.

“Ladies first,” Foggy said, gesturing you ahead.

With a grin and a shake of your head you made your way into their office space, your eyes taking in the barrenness of it. There was a single desk shoved to the far back wall of the main room beside a few abandoned filing cabinets. Two rooms that appeared to be offices were opposite of each other in the space, a conference room beside one of them. There had been a table that fit the space perfectly left behind in it. 

“So?” Foggy pressed, “What do you think?” 

“It certainly has everything you guys need,” you mused, taking a few steps into the space and looking around, eyeing the dust on the filing cabinets and the desk. “And it came moderately furnished, too. I’d say that’s a bonus.”

“Oh, we got bonus furniture?” Matt asked in amusement. “Foggy didn’t mention bonus furniture.”

Your eyes were drawn towards Matt at the sound of his voice. There was a boyish grin on his lips as he spoke and you felt the all too familiar ache in your chest at the sight of it. But you quickly tried to shove those thoughts away. You were with Liam now. And you had been for a few months. Matt was only your friend. Grudgingly you reminded yourself that he’d recently moved into his own place because he was still getting that much attention from beautiful women after college and had wanted more privacy. 

You needed to stop thinking about him like that.

“Is it in good shape, would you say?” he asked you.

Shrugging a shoulder, you eyed the desk before you. “I mean it’s not broken, so there’s that?” you answered.

Matt’s warm laugh appeared to echo through the room. You’d missed the sound of it. Ever since the three of you had graduated it had been hard to keep up with seeing each other. Usually you were lucky to see them once or twice a month lately, though you often spoke to them via text messages–or occasional phone calls from Matt. But those were fairly infrequent lately. You had figured this was what was bound to happen after you’d all graduated, you slowly drifting apart from them, but you’d hoped it would take longer than it had.

“Now you guys just need clients,” you said, turning around and facing the pair of them.

“Actually, we have one,” Matt told you.

Your eyebrows curiously rose onto your forehead at his words. They’d only just got this space today, how had they already acquired a client?

“I think she means one with money , Matt,” Foggy pointed out. “Because we don’t have one of those yet.”

“Ahh, well, we’ll get one of those eventually,” Matt assured him. 

As your eyes took in the space around you again, memories of the three of you during your days at Columbia slowly played back in your mind. All those nights you heard them discussing what they’d do after law school ran through your mind. How they’d occasionally joked about opening their own firm in Hell’s Kitchen–to help the less fortunate, Matt always said. To be his own boss and not have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn was Foggy’s dream–along with being rich.

And now here they were, already on their way to achieving that dream.

“I’m proud of you both,” you said, eyes shifting between the pair of them. “Nelson and Murdock. You made it happen. We’ll have to get together and celebrate this another night.”

Across the room, Foggy and Matt’s faces both simultaneously fell yet again. Instantly you felt guilty that you needed to leave, but you hadn’t had a chance to see Liam all week. You were planning to surprise him this evening with a night in.

“You’ve got to run already?” Foggy complained. “You just got here!”

“I’m sorry!” you said. “I told you I didn’t have long because I was heading over to Liam’s tonight.”

“Thought you’d have longer than a few minutes for your best friends,” Foggy complained.

Frowning, your attention shifted towards Matt. He’d become oddly quiet, his focus on the floor of the office. You noticed he’d been like this more and more lately and you wished he’d open up to you. Clearly something was going on with him, but you had no idea what. In the past, before graduation, he’d have told you. It hurt that things had changed so much that now he wouldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized again, tone softer. “I’ll make it up to you guys another time, alright?”

“Fine,” Foggy reluctantly agreed, throwing his arms out towards you. “Now give me a hug before you go surprise your man. And he better be grateful for this visit because he’s stealing you away from us tonight. Again.”

You rolled your eyes, a smile slipping across your lips. Closing the distance between the pair of you, you quickly returned Fog’s hug. When you pulled away and looked over your shoulder, you saw the morose expression on Matt’s face, his head still bowed. You stepped over towards him, nervously holding out your arms.

“Care for a hug goodbye, Matty?” you asked.

His head darted up instantly, a smile quickly spreading across his face. The sight of it was bright in the dimly lit room and it had your stomach flipping.

“Of course,” he answered.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, his own arms coming to encircle your shoulders and drawing you into him. For a brief moment your eyelids lowered, your face buried into his broad shoulder. He smelled good–like fresh laundry. And he felt more solid than you remembered him being. Had he been working out? 

Your eyes opened, taking in the sight of Foggy staring back at you just over Matt’s shoulder. He had that look on his face again. That same sad look he had always given you once he’d found out you’d had feelings for Matt. He knew. He knew damn well you weren’t over Matt just because you’d been with Liam for a few months. 

Clearing your throat, you abruptly pulled away from Matt, holding your coffee cup nervously between both hands now. “I should get going, I’ll see you guys later,” you said quickly.

Without further hesitation, you made your way out of the office, hearing both of them calling goodbyes after you. As you made your way out of the building and towards Liam’s apartment, you tried your best to shove down everything you’d felt for Matt which that hug had suddenly tried to bring right to the surface.

Throwing back the beer bottle, you quickly swallowed down the alcohol. Tonight had turned out to be an exceptionally shitty evening. You’d gone to surprise Liam at his apartment because the pair of you had been so busy this past week that your schedules never seemed to align. You had every intention to stay in and order takeout with him, binging something on TV and having a relaxing night in.

But that’s not how the night had gone at all.

You’d showed up to Liam’s apartment and surprised him–that certainly happened. But you hadn’t expected the surprise you got in return in the form of a pretty, half-dressed brunette that he’d been trying to hide from you. He of course tried to apologize, to tell you it’s not what it looked like, but you knew it was all bullshit. So you’d yelled at him, tears streaming down your face as you ended the first relationship you’d had in years.

Then you’d headed into the first bar you’d spotted on your walk home, tears still staining your cheeks as you ordered three beers and proceeded to chug them one after the other. After you’d downed the third one, you’d ordered a fourth and contemplated calling Foggy. Hell, you’d almost called Matt. You certainly would have loved his comfort this evening. You would have loved to have him pull you into that firm chest of his, wrap those big, strong arms he had around you and hear him tell you that it would all be okay. That you deserved better. That it wasn't your fault.

That he wanted you.

But that was all a ridiculous fucking hope. He'd comfort you as a friend and nothing more, as he always did. And it would only tear you up even further to experience that right now. So instead you'd left your phone in your purse as you chugged down beer number four wondering what the hell was wrong with you that you couldn't keep Liam happy or even attract the attention of your best friend who slept with apparently every other woman in his vicinity but you. Still .

Bitter anger bubbled in your stomach, mixing with the three and a half beers you'd quickly thrown back. Grabbing the half-empty fourth bottle, you downed the rest of its contents in a few gulps. You slammed the empty bottle back on the bar counter, glaring at it as if it too had somehow hurt you tonight. 

"Fuck everything," you grumbled to yourself.

For another few minutes you sat there on the bar stool, contemplating if you wanted another drink or not. The thought was tempting, but you did still need to finish walking the last few blocks back to your apartment. Much more to drink and you wouldn't be able to do that. Especially not with how fast you'd already thrown those four beers down. Though the prospect of going back to your empty apartment already had the tears returning to your eyes. 

Blinking them back, you clumsily slid off the bar stool, grasping the counter to steady yourself. When you were sure you weren’t about to fall over, you turned and made your way to the bar's exit. The room around you spun a bit as you walked, but you kept on going, pushing your way out of the door and onto the sidewalk. The temperature had dropped outside and you could hear the faint roar of thunder in the distance. It felt as if the weather itself had even adjusted to your shift in mood–cold and raging.

Head ducked down, you made your way back towards your building. Your mind eventually shifted back to thoughts of earlier tonight as you walked. To Liam’s shock when he'd opened the door of his apartment and saw you standing there. You remembered how he'd been so flustered, his cheeks flushed as he seemingly didn’t want to let you inside. Then that brunette called out behind him just before she appeared over his shoulder, still trying to button up her blouse and entirely confused as to why you were in the hallway crying at his door.

Your stomach violently churned, sick threatening to spill out of you. You weren't sure if it was from the beers or the heartache, but you darted down a side alley and bent over, closing your eyes and hoping to make the feeling fade. Tears were steadily running down your cheeks as you tried to take a few deep breaths, begging yourself not to throw up in a back alley. 

The space around you soon felt like it was spinning, the sensation incredibly dizzying. You sunk to the pavement, a sob falling out of you as the nausea persisted. You pressed your forehead to the cold brick of the building in front of you, waiting until that wave of nausea eventually faded. But that hollow ache in your chest you'd felt for years now felt like it had abruptly grown tonight as if it was trying to swallow you entirely. 

Somewhere in your inebriated mind you were aware that you shouldn't be drunk and crying late at night in an alley in the city, that you should get up and go home, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. You sat there on your knees, forehead pressed to the brick, and cried hard as all of your pain began to fall out of you in the form of tears.

Another crack of thunder rumbled through the night and you began to hear the patter of rain lightly hit the pavement before you felt a few drops hit you. A bitter laugh rolled out of you, the sound ending on a hiccup. You threw your head back over your shoulders, looking up at what you could see of the sliver of sky in the alleyway. 

"Of course it’d fucking rain," you mumbled. "Anything else to make this night fucking worse, right?"

"Are you alright?"

Heart speeding in your chest, your head whipped in the direction the voice had come from. Your vision continued to spin for a few seconds more at the movement before you could see who'd spoken. You spotted a dark figure at the far end of the alley. The fear you were feeling only increased as your brain gradually recognized that it was the man in black standing a few feet away, his masked face focused on you. 

Because of course tonight could get worse. 

You tried to back up, to get away, but your balance was off from the alcohol and you’d only managed to fall backwards onto your ass. The man immediately raised his hands, staying right where he was.

“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said quickly.

You’d drank too much and were currently far too fearful to even begin to understand why his deep, gravelly voice sounded like it was laced with something like hurt when he’d spoken. 

“Then what d’you want?” you slurred out, trying to keep your voice even as rain began to dampen your hair.

“I heard you crying,” he called out, his tone somehow softer. “I–I wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?”

Fresh tears pooled in your eyes, another humorless laugh falling out of you. “Not in any way you’d care about,” you muttered.

The man in black took a tentative step towards you, his hands still raised in front of himself like he meant no harm. You tensed, eyes fixed on him.

“Try me,” he replied.

Your eyes narrowed as he took another careful step towards you. When you didn't react, he gradually began to close the space between you, moving slow in that form-fitting black suit you’d seen on the news and in the papers more and more recently. You were wary of him despite the reports saying he only brutally beat criminals, but he continued to move as if he was trying not to scare you away. As if he meant no harm. Part of your brain screamed danger the closer he came, but the alcohol you’d drank down was quickly quieting that warning. Because you weren’t alone right now and for some reason this vigilante’s presence was gradually easing the sting of loneliness you knew awaited you at your apartment. And for now, you were okay with that.

“No one tried to mug me,” you told him bitterly. “Or–or assault me or something. Nothing you’d probably be concerned about.”

“I’m glad to hear that at least,” he replied.

As he slowly came to crouch down in front of you, you saw the tension ease out of his shoulders at your words. You figured he must’ve been worried he’d stumbled on the aftermath of something along those lines, probably hoping to go chase down your assailant and pummel him before leaving him for the police. Unfortunately for him, nothing Liam did was truly worth the man in black's attention.

“What happened?” he asked, voice still pitched oddly low.

Drawing your legs up towards your chest, your focus dropped down towards your knees. “Found out my boyf–” you caught yourself, teeth gritting together before you changed your words, “–ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. Went over to surprise him tonight. Hadn’t seen him in a week. But he wasn’t alone.” 

You wrapped your arms around your legs, lowering your forehead to your knees as your eyes closed. The man beside you was quiet for such a long time that you’d thought maybe he’d left until you heard him speak again.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice sounding like it broke on the words.

You shrugged. “Told you ‘s’not something you’d care about,” you muttered. “Just a stupid break up.”

“I care that you’re alone, inebriated, and crying in an alley late at night,” he countered.

“You don’t know me,” you pointed out. “Why would you care?”

“Because it’s–it’s not safe,” he said, voice tense. “And I…care that you’re upset.”

You scoffed in response, shaking your head along your knees. “You don’t know me,” you reiterated sharply.

“I still care,” he stated.

Turning your head, you rested your cheek along your knees. The man in black was sitting beside you, his own legs drawn up to his chest, his muscular arms wrapped around them. Something about him seemed safe even though nothing about him should have felt like that.

“That’s not even the worst part,” you said, the alcohol causing the words to just fall out of you. “The cheating and the break up. ‘S’not even the worst part of why I’m upset.”

This man was a stranger, what did it matter what you told him? He wouldn’t give a shit. Hell, he probably wished you’d stop talking.

His head tilted to the side at your confession, though. Something about the movement felt oddly familiar but the thought quickly left your mind almost as soon as you’d had it.

“What is then?” he asked.

The tears came on their own now, freely falling down your face. Matt’s handsome face from earlier came to your mind. You remembered that smile on his mouth when you’d gone to hug him goodbye earlier. You could still recall the scent of him–always some sort of detergent. He rarely ever used cologne or anything else. He’d told you he was sensitive to scents and they often gave him a headache. He’d told you many things over the years, and somehow even the smallest details had you falling even harder for him.

That hollow ache was throbbing in your chest again. It physically hurt when you thought about how badly you wanted him.

“I’m still in love with my best friend,” you admitted weakly. “And I shouldn’t be.”

You buried your face back into your knees, unable to control the sobs that began to shake your body as you cried. It had hurt you to see Liam with that other woman tonight, there was no denying it, but it hurt you even more to know that all you wanted still was Matt. That you could never seem to let those feelings go. Even in a relationship. Even grieving the end of one. 

You just wanted Matt.

“I just wish I could make it stop,” you choked out. “But nothing makes it go away.”

It took you by surprise when you felt a tentative hand come to rest on your upper back. You sniffled loudly, drawing your head from your knees to look at the vigilante beside you as a few drops of rain continued to lightly fall on the pair of you. Between the mask and the darkness of the alley, you couldn’t see much of his face, but you could see his mouth was twisted in a way that looked pained.

“I know how that feels all too well,” he confessed, his own voice thick with emotion.

Brows drawing together on your forehead, you stared at him in surprise for a moment. You hadn’t expected him to say that. But as it dawned on you that you weren't alone experiencing this type of painful situation, you gradually sent him a sad smile in return.

“What’re they like?” you asked. “The friend you’re in love with.”

You watched as his mouth twitched at the corner a few times, like he was torn between smiling at the thought of whoever it was, but also still struggling with the weight of the pain of those unrequited feelings. 

“She’s beautiful,” he breathed out, emotion heavy in his voice. “Never met anyone like her before. The biggest heart. Sharp mind. And a–” he paused to chuckle, “–a surprising sense of humor. There’s just something about her that I’m drawn to over and over. I can’t seem to stop it either.”

You turned further towards this stranger, his gloved hand still resting comfortingly on your back. You curiously eyed his masked face in silence for a moment.

“Why don’t you tell her you love her?” you finally asked.

The smile that spread on his lips in response looked sad. 

“I feel like I have in many ways without ever saying it,” he replied, shaking his head. “She doesn’t see it. But I’m certain she’s in love with someone else. She’ll…never want me.”

“Oh,” you breathed out, your heart breaking for this stranger. “I’m sorry.”

His lips were visibly trembling now, the sight stirring something in you. He must really love this friend of his to be so emotional spilling his heart out to a strange, drunk woman crying in an alley. 

“Why don’t you tell your friend?” he asked.

His voice sounded a bit off when he’d spoken, almost like he’d been about to cry. You figured it was his own emotions trying to get the best of him as you shrugged.

“I can’t,” you answered. “We’re friends. And that’s all he ever seems to see me as. I’m not the one he wants. I’m never the one he wants.”

Tears began to fall down your cheeks again, your attention dropping back down towards your knees. The masked man surprisingly drew you towards him, his hand on your back pulling you straight to his chest. You didn’t even fight him when he did. You’d weirdly bonded with him in an alley this evening over the unreturned feelings of love for your friends. Now you were hugging the man in black, crying into his shoulder. His hands were soothingly running along your back in a way that felt oddly intimate for a stranger, but as your fingers dug into the thin material of his black shirt, rain still lightly falling down around the pair of you, you found that you didn’t care. It felt nice being in his arms and you weren’t about to question it after the night you’d had. 

You’d stayed like that for a while, uncertain how long it had actually been, until you’d eventually stopped crying. But when you’d suddenly become overcome with the urge to kiss him–a stupid , drunk thought that crossed your mind–you pulled away just as fast as he seemed to. 

“I should get home,” you mumbled, feeling oddly uncomfortable about that thought you’d just had.

“Of course,” he said, pitching his voice low again.

He rose to his feet in a fluid, smooth motion. It looked so graceful that you’d sat there stunned for a moment. His hands lowered down towards you, hovering just before your face. For a moment your eyes dropped down and lingered on the black gloves. Cautiously you placed a hand in each of his and let him pull you up to your feet. One of his hands released yours, quickly coming to rest against your shoulder, steadying you when you swayed until you’d regained your balance.

“Thanks for…whatever this was,” you said, your eyes trying to find his behind that dark fabric.

His mouth pulled up in a small smile in response, his head briefly nodding. “I hope tomorrow is a better day for you,” he said. 

Turning slowly, you began to make your way out of the alley and back towards the street. You wiped the back of your hand across your eyes as you walked, pausing only when you reached the sidewalk. Looking back into the darkened alley, you felt your heart sink when you saw it was empty. Movement on the building above you caught your eye and you looked up. 

The man in black was crouched on the edge of the roof, his masked face focused on you. He raised a single, gloved hand in a wave. Slowly you lifted one of your own, returning the gesture and finding the entire interaction with him to be incredibly strange. 

As you turned and made your way back home, the rain steadily beginning to pick up, your thoughts inevitably returned to how you were once again single and still pining for your best friend. Forever hopelessly in love with a man who would never return your feelings.

At least the alcohol you'd drank tonight would help you forget some of what happened this evening. For that you were grateful.

[theworldoffostering]

Ms. 6’s grandma sent me a message last night which I wisely didn’t read until this morning. After reading it, I called her instead of messaging back. She said on the phone that she blames DH and I for not being able to have a relationship with Ms. 6 for the past ten years. She hasn’t even lived with us for the past ten consecutive years, but since we are available, she’s going to take all of her anger out on us. She said she had no interest in being in a relationship with DH nor myself. Gah. It was hard to hear. She then went on to name herself as Ms. 6’s “real family.” Her husband is Ms. 6’s step-grandparent so don’t even get me started on “real” family members.

I basically apologized for any hurt that DH and I have caused. It will do zero good to try to rehash it all with her or explain any of it. Grandma would have to be willing to acknowledge her own part in Ms. 6’s trauma and she isn’t willing (or maybe isn’t even able) to do that. Grandma is still in a relationship with her own daughter (Ms. 6’s mom), and she doesn’t believe that her daughter did anything wrong in this scenario. I strongly feel that Grandma played favorites between Ms. 6 and her biological siblings which was damaging to the siblings (Ms. 6 was the favorite) and Ms. 6. At best, they also failed to protect the kids from abuse. Grandma also had placement of Ms. 6 more than once and returned her to Mom without informing the department which is obviously really messed up. I know all of this as I was a placement for Ms. when she was a baby but I also know better than to bring all of that up because how does it help? It’s just my own emotional defensive response. But gosh, I’m not sure I have the emotional capacity to manage someone else being angry at me.

I know I just need to let this go, but I cried in front of Ms. 6 today as I tried to explain that she is not responsible for her grandma’s feelings nor mine. I reiterated that DH and I love and care for her and I guess I need to hope that will be enough, but I’m terrified they’ll just take her away from us at their first opportunity.

It’s all so freaking hurtful. We’ve been through hell and high water with this kid and now we have to shoulder the anger of the grandparents too? I thought we would be a team but it’s clear they have no intention of that and Ms. 6’s loyalty will be with them and that’s okay, right? I mean, she should be able to freely love them (I said that to her today too).

[councilingmychaos]

Scene Ten

By the time we got back to campus, it was already 10PM. I was more than ready for a shower and sleep. My body was exhausted, and so was my mind. Eldritch helped me into the building, walked me to my room and even helped me get inside, with all of my things. I slid his jacket off and handed it to him. He smiled, grabbed it and turned around to head out.

“Agatha” I said softly the second his hand touched the door knob. He paused and turned around, looking me in my eyes. I gulped and took a step towards him. “My name— it’s Agatha.” I reiterated. I gave him a smile before thanking him and watching him leave. I took a deep breath and plopped on the bed. There is no way all of that just happened, I must have been dreaming? I laid there for a few more minutes before forcing myself to make my bed, unpack the bags, get my shower stuff ready and grab a new towel I just bought.

I slipped my slippers on and dragged my feet all the way down the hall, to the shower room and inside where it was too quiet. I made my way to the very last shower, hung my items up and turned the water on, waiting for it to get to the right temperature. I then stripped off the baggy t-shirt I threw on and slid inside, drowning myself under the hot water. The warm water hitting my skin reminded me of Eldritch’s lips. I felt myself blushing as the fact that I thought of that IN THE SHOWER.

I soaked in the water for a while, washing off all of the ick feelings I felt prior to Eldritch arriving. I thought about how lucky I was that he was there. I didn’t seem to care much about WHY he was there, and if he was following me, but more so about the fact that he saved my life this time, whereas before he just kept me from hurting myself because I’m an idiot.

As I stood under the water, the door to the shower room opened and faint footsteps filled the empty room. I heard chatter from a few girls as they all entered the shower area, turning on the water of the shower they chose. I listened as they began to talk louder in order to hear each other over the running water.

“Delaney, did you see that cute new freshman?” One of the girls asked.

“Which one? There were a few” Another girl said, as they all began to giggle. I rolled my eyes, annoyed by their laughs.

“He has the brightest red hair I’ve ever seen, I wonder if it's real?” I listened closer now, since I also saw that guy before.

“Oh my gosh, he is SO HOT” One of the girls shouted, causing the rest of them to shriek in excitement.

“Claire, you should totally ask him out,” One of the girls said. “You guys would look SO HOT together.” She added as they all laughed. I sighed and finished up with my shower. I turned the water off and pulled my towel in and began to dry off.

“Did any of you girls see that tall handsome guy with bright green eyes?” One of the girls asked after a few minutes of silence. I stopped drying myself so I could hear better. It sounds like they are talking about Eldritch.

“Yeah, but I don’t think he goes here” another girl said, a confused tone to her voice.

“Either way, he is hot as fuck, am I right?” the first girl said. I felt a strange sense of jealousy as they talked about him.

“Girl, I saw him come in here a little bit ago with a girl in his arms. She was wearing his coat, "she said, sounding upset by that. They were talking about me now.

“Maybe it was his girlfriend.” Delaney said, turning off her water. Shortly after, the rest of the girls turned their water off and each went to stand in front of the mirrors. I peeked out of the shower curtain to see them standing there.

“I don’t know, she wasn’t that pretty. He was def. Too hot for her.” She said with a laugh. “He probably just hit it and quit it.” She added, the rest of the girls laughing now. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the shower, after pulling my pajamas on while still in the shower stall. I tied my hair up in the towel and walked out into the area the girls were in. I didn’t make eye contact, nor look their way, but I could feel them staring at me.

“That's her!” I heard one girl whisper to the rest.

“You were right, she isn’t pretty enough to be his girlfriend.” another girl said as they all began to snicker softly together. I rolled my eyes and stormed out of the bathroom, stomping my feet as I angrily marched my way back to my dorm room. If only they knew that he had his mouth all over my body, they would be jealous.

[winterlovesong1]

Winter Rewatched Nancy Drew

Welcome to my first rewatch of my current favorite comfort show ❤️ Under the cut are my thoughts and a few insights I hope you enjoy - I’ll be going through each episode and posting these periodically with the tag winter rewatched Nancy Drew.

2x18 - The Echo of Lost Tears

So episode title - reference to the “lost tears” of Nancy’s past, her trauma she’s pushed down so she can try and outrun it, so she can attempt to live, but it’s caught up to her - the echo of it unescapable as the wraith feeds and has fed on her doubt and her insecurities this whole time. But also dare I say, the title also has Nace implications, the “lost tears” being those fragments throughout the season, those moments when they “couldn’t lose” the other now blaring their echo in this season finale - because those moments can’t be ignored and they will have to be examined in the coming season.

Overall MVP

Nancy is truly the MVP this episode - I mean she basically went through a mental supernatural therapy session and came out the other side with some tools and strategies to move forward and actually live I love that for her.

Most Heartfelt Moment

The Ryan/Carson/Nancy scene at the end of the episode wins for me - it’s the definition of heartfelt and just - the arc of it all from season one to now and how this unconventional family - with two people who didn’t talk because they were grieving, healing, avoiding in their own way, who now are working through their relationship and realizing they all have flaws and no one is perfect and Carson was just trying to do the best for his daughter, for his family, who now have this other person, Nancy’s other dad in the picture because he’s grown too, he’s learning and maturing and redeeming himself, and everyone is accepting of one another and I just - this family means so much to me.

Also shout out to the Fanson (first) proposal because they are literally the cutest and I miss them so much...

Best Overall Line

“All this time the wraith made you think there was no separating you from it - you just proved it wrong.”

Such important words to hear from anyone who cares about you, the implication that “you were always strong enough” - something Ace reiterates later to Nancy - let alone someone who is in line to be your future husband.

And tying with that is -

“You weren’t born broken. Your hurt maybe. But in the end, The only way to heal is to let that pain become love”

Gosh I LOVE that line still - again, it’s accepting her past, it’s letting that become a part of her and then in healing, in growing, in the accepting of it all, letting her past become something brighter - something less dark and brutal - something beautiful - something to be cherished - because the future shouldn’t be feared - it should be embraced - just like her.

Best Comedic Moment

“I want to have a talk about impulse control on the other side of this.”

 I love concerned Carson taking a moment in the chaos to have a brief parenting lesson lol

Special mention to the “you drew a fish” and “show off” of it all at the kitchen table - I love them.

Scare Rating

The scare rating is really beyond a ten - I just am super squeamish when it comes to grotesque looking things like the Wraith or Baby Wraith and so all that is 200/10 for me lol

Nace Slow Burn Rating

First thing I noted was that Ace was the first character we saw on camera this episode and Nancy was the last character we saw. Now, I know that is probably coincidence and just editing or whatever, the first and last character seen in an episode. But it’s also a season finale and I’m just saying as I was taking notes “look, the episode opening with Ace being worried on the phone, texting with Hannah to save Nancy’s life and then ending with Nancy being saved...” I'm just saying, there’s signs and then there’s signs...

I also love how since the first image of the episode is Worried!Ace we are immediately caught up in the Save Nancy Agenda, into the crew, and both dads, working together to help their friend, their daughter, their arguably something more, and it’s just a beautiful imagery since for the most part throughout the season, we’ve seen Nancy isolate herself, except for those few episodes at the beginning when they were still wrapping up the Agleaca of it all, Nancy’s been on her own journey and so to see everyone come together for her is really heartwarming because it shows that Horseshoe Bay Friend’s mentality in action, in shows that these people are there for their “hero” no matter what.

Side Note: I’m going to need George to bring that “till we get it right” energy into season four please with another potential life threatening situation we have in our midst...

Then Gil enters the scene and it’s constant accusations, like the first thing he says is something to the effect of why haven’t you returned my texts...no how are you? no concern for Nancy’s well being? Just selfishly thinking of his needs and wants - and then it just compounds from there and Ace is at the ready the WHOLE time - I a) can’t believe we got to see it and that it was b) FOCUSED on - I mean our eagle eyes probably could have caught his ready to get in the middle of it stance but then the camera focuses in on him and there’s no doubt that it’s trying to tell us that a) still worried and b) even more worried now that Gil is here. And that’s not to say he doesn’t think Nancy can’t handle herself, I don’t think that’s the message here - it’s to say that he cares for her and her well being and clearly this guy just came whirling into the room to harass her - and he knows she’s tired, knows she’s dying, so he’s just trying to protect her in his own kind of way - again, not in a nobility sense, but in a “I will be there for you if you need it” way.

Which is why I think it’s SO IMPORTANT he enters the room post break up, post Gil leaving, and he does it in such a quiet way - like all his entering of the rooms throughout this season - from the “I’m going to skip the part where I was eavesdropping” scene in 2x15 and the “I didn’t mean to scare you” of 2x13 and this just continuing in that line of quiet, calm, and concern.

And the way the scene plays out with Nancy brushing back a strand of her hair, as if she’s trying to put up a front, but realizing quickly it won’t work, not that she was trying to do it to hide, but she just doesn’t want him to see her in such pain, broken as she later refers to herself in the episode. But the truth is, she’s the only one she trusts with those vulnerable pieces of herself and so she lets the tears well and his eyes gather tears in them as well as he annunciates every words in his speech <3  And then he basically illustrates that even though she’s strong enough  (something he echoes later in the episode) to hold all her trauma, he continually physically holds her up this episode - he helps her hold her back in the woods, he helps her out the car, he assists in her walking, he holds her hand and her arm when they are starting the ritual int he living room - he’s at her side and being her support system until he can say in so many words, “yes, I know I’ve helped you up, but you can do that on your own - you always could - I was just showing you, I was helping you see that.”

And then the dreamscape of it all - how poetic that Ace is there at the beginning - that the scene he’s chosen to enter is at Nancy’s start - that even though he physically hasn’t been there for all of Nancy’s literal life, he’s been there from the beginning in this journey she’s been on - he’s been there the whole time. 

And that tension when they hold the baby - when he holds her - and are inches, if that, away from each other, still takes my breath away.

And lastly the cookie metaphor of it all, the missing of each other at the end when Nancy is prepared to reveal, or at least unpack partially, what she saw in her dreamscape, and Ace leaving for his road trip with Amanda, only for Ace’s mom to come in and say take some cookies “you can freeze them, they keep forever” - I mean bravo writers - it’s they said “this looks sad and disappointing, but guess what, we have it all planned...”

Favorite Fashion Moment

This wasn’t one of those - look at the fashion in this episode - it was more go on this emotional rollercoaster with me - so nothing really stood out - especially since a lot of the clothing was utilized as callbacks to certain moments in Nancy’s life or in some cases other versions of Nancy. But I do appreciate how the show uses fashion to tell its story - it’s not just “let’s have them wear this” - clothing is used purposefully and I LOVE that.

Missing Drabble Moment

Ok slightly cheating again and rec’ing some of my fics in which I’ve already alluded to moments from this episode because why not -

Stay with Me (my first Nace fic <3 )

All This Time (my first Nace multi chapter fic <3 )

let me borrow this (wear your heart till it’s worn) (a clothes sharing fic that alludes to the drive in 2x18 )

between the midnights and the daylights (meet me there) (a nace fic about some 3 a.m conversations - this includes one on a certain drive in 2x18)

[iwadori]

are you going to do a 'when the haikyuu boys make you insecure' part with Iwaizumi / could I request that?

When they make you insecure part 6 (Iwaizumi,Matsukawa)

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5 Part 6

Word Count: 2.8K

Genre: Angst, Fluff

masterlist

AN: Did I embedd myself in this story? Yes, yes i did. :3 (it’s only a small part dw loool)

Iwaizumi

One day when you were walking to the gym to go see your boyfriend  

You overhear him and the team talking about some instagram girl

“She’s hot” you hear Boktuo yell doing a hoot as he fawns over a picture, with the rest of the guys agreeing.  

“What do you think Iwaizumi?” Hinata ask  

“She’s cute... I guess?” the rest of the guys, grunt in disagreement at Iwa’s lack of drooling over the girl.

“Well I see why you wouldn’t want her Haji-kun,” says Atsumu “you are into the more simple girls bro”

“Simple?” Iwaizumi questions, and the rest of the guys agree

“Yeah simple, you know Y/N... she’s simple” says one of the guys, with the word ‘simple’ rolling off their tounge with a tone of disgust.

“I guess your right guys...” Iwaizumi says “Y/N is pretty basic and simple but-”

You leave the gym before you hear what the rest of them had to say. When you got to your house you bolt straight to the mirror, you look at your outfit and frown. You never thought your style was ‘basic,’ to be fair you wouldn’t describe anybodys style as basic or simple. Of course, you weren’t like those instagram influencers, that wasn’t your thing. But Iwa has known that about you for years... but I guess that’s not what he truly likes.

You go to your closet and take out all the contents, just tossing all your clothes (even some of your favourite items ever) and dashing them in a black trash bag putting them to the side. You were already on a mission to buy a whole new wardrobe, going through all different stores and looking on pinterest for inspo.

You didn’t really talk to Iwa for the rest of the week, since you wanted him to see you in your ‘new form,’ you weren’t being radiosilent but you didn’t initiate any hang outs with him or face time calls (which he did find slightly odd, but didn’t think that much by it.)

Finally, the clothes came and you were kind of shocked at how much you ordered you spent over £200 on clothes from all different places. When you were trying them on, you liked some of them the ones that were kind of similar to your past style but not so ‘simple,’ the others you kind of frowned at since it definitely didn’t feel like ‘you’ at all. ‘This is for Iwa,’ you reminded yourself as your forced a smile on your face analysing yourself in the mirror.

You had everything sorted, your wardrobe was now changed and done the colours and styles you once wore before is now the complete opposite. You invited Iwa over, hesistantly waiting to see how would he react.  

When you hear your door knock, you rush over to open it and model a pose you saw one of those girl do trying to look as natural as possible.

“Hey babe ho-” he says, with his eyes widening seeing your new look “Woah Y/N!”

“Hey Haji..come in!” you exclaim with a beaming smile pulling him inside to the couch. “So, are we going to continue watching the crown, I watched the previous episode and god prince phillip is such a dick.”

You look over your shoulder and see Iwa still standing in your entranceway a bit awkwardly, looking a bit stunned. “Come sit down then, we’ve got an episode to watch.”

“uh oh yeah, sure” he says blinking, following you to the couch.

You got through atleast 4 episodes together, you barely talked as you were really engrossed in the show. Iwa was barely paying attention, he was too busy questioning how you were acting. This definitely wasn’t the girl he knew, even the way you were acting whilst watch the show was odd. The way you’d cutely giggle and ‘sublty’ look over to him whilst laughing at a funny part of the show instead of just doing your usual obnoxious laugh that he loved to hear.

“Oh Y/N, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” he says standing up, you don’t reply you just wave your hand in acknowledgement.

On his way to the bathroom, Iwa nearly trips on a black bag left outside your bedroom door. He opens it, and mildly gasped when he saw all your old stuff jumbled up in there. He picks up the back and goes straight back to the living room and stands in front of you.

“Haji, what are you doing you’re blocking the TV” you complaining trying to see what’s happening behind him.

He drops the black bag infront of you and you internally curse yourself for not moving. You stare at him waiting for him to say something.

“Well whats this then.” he says looking down at you, almost like a disapproving dad.

“Clothes.” you say smartly, knowing what he was asking.

“You know what I meant Y/N, why are all your clothes in a garbage bag.”  

“Because I wanted to put them there,” you wanted to seem as nochalant about it as possible as if putting all your clothes in a garbage bag doesn’t make you feel sad.

“Yeah but why?” he says sitting down next to you.

“Just because I wanted to” you reiterate “what else do you want me to say?”

“Well this isn’t like you, its just a bit random Y/N” he says

“I know this isnt like me you” you spat, standing up “Isn’t this what you wanted anyways.” You head to your bedroom picking up the bag with you, with Iwa hot on your heels.

“What do you mean this is what I wanted?” he says in disbelief “When did I ever say that?”

“It doesn’t matter” you mumble, you start to aggressively take our your old clothes and shove them back into your wardrobe whilst Iwa is just talking. You’re not really listening to him your just putting the clothes back.

“Y/N Stop!” he yells kind of knocking you out of your ‘trance,’ “what is going on with you?” he grabs you hands and pulls them down stopping you from what you were doing and he winced at seeing your tear stricken face.

He gently pulls you into his arms sitting you both on your bed, waiting for you to speak. “I don’t know what you want from me Iwa..” you start your voice slightly breaking “it’s just I did this all for you and you don’t even appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what you mean Y/N?” he says sounding genuinely confused.

“Y/N is simple and basic.” you say repeating words that you heard your boyfriend say about you, you feel him tense as you say it and you slowly get out of his hug.

“Y/N I-”

“That really hurt Hajime, I know now that I'm not your ‘type’ but I-”

“No Y/N, you are my type of course you are!” he says gulping in nervousness “I love you, and your style. I’ve always being enamored by how you dress and present yourself and I don’t know why I even said you’re basic and simple I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Really?” you say sniffling looking down

“Yes really you idiot,” he says lifting your head up “To be fair I don’t care what you wear, since you look great in anthing I just want you to be happy Y/N and especially not dress for anyone including me. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agree slightly nodding your head.

“Good, so can we go and finish the crown and then burn all these clothes?” Iwa jokes as he stands up.

“Burn them!” you exclaim “These cost £200, you muppet.”

“£200! Gosh Y/N, next time you go shopping im definitely coming with you.” he says shaking his head “can’t have you blowing out your bank account for clothes you don’t even like that much.”

You spend the rest of the day finishing of The Crown and you and Iwa eventually both sort out your wardrobe. Your style and aethetic changes a lot more through the times you were together and Iwa was very supportive and helpful of every single change. Especially *insert your favourite dress aesthetic here.*

Matsukawa

You were walking with your friends; Iwa, Tooru, Maki and your boyfriend Matsun. Walking to school as you did every morning, today the topic of conversation was Tooru’s bad taste in women.

“Gosh yesterday was horrible, she didn’t want to talk to me at all,” he complained “all she wanted to do was to come straight to my place, I didn’t even have the chance to tell her my hair routine.”

“That’s why you don’t find dates off of Tinder shittykawa” grunted Iwaizumi

“Well I know that now!” he exclaimed.

“Y/N,” said Makki grasping your attention “Would you ever use Tinder?”

“Well I-”

“Of course she wouldn’t” your boyfriend interrupted wrapping his arm round your shoulder “she’s got me”

“Yeah, but if you two weren’t together, would you use it.”

“Well may-”  

“Y/N definitely wouldn’t” he said interrupting you AGAIN “she’s way to frigid for that shit”

Frigid? You thought to yourself, ouch. Their was a quick awkward silence and all you could hear was Matsukawa laughing with the others laughing after awkwardly in pursuit. After sensing your uncomfortability (is that a word?) Oikawa decides to change the subject to make things less awkward,

“I need a woman who understands me!” he rants “One that can listen to me and appreciate my awesome hair.”

“Goodluck with that Shittykawa.”  

Oikawa rambles on as you walk to school with the other guys chiming in. You on the other hand, were lost in thought. Your sex life wasn’t something you would want to publicly talk about let alone to you and your boyfriends' male friends. Also, with Matsun describing you as ‘frigid’ struck a nerve. You weren’t frigid, well at least to you, you weren’t.  

When you got to school you immediately rushed straight to your lesson claiming that you teacher really needed to talk to you. Which was odd to Matsukawa as you usually all hung around each other until the bell rang, the other boys gave each other knowing looks all assuming the reasons for your odd behaviour.

At lunch time, you stayed in your class instead of going up to the roof where you and your friends usually end up. In the class room you hear one of the girls in your class, Empress having one of her usual gossip conversations with her group of friends.

“Hajime is so hot!” she said, fanning her face being dramatic  

“Of course he is! You should totally go for him.” her friend said and the rest of the friends agreed.

“What do you think Y/N?” she says to you catching your attention “you’re close friends with him right?”

“Yeah, I am” you say a bit sadly “You should definitely go for him, I think you’d be perfect together.”

“Okay! I think I might later” she says smiling. Her and friends leave, but then Empress returns and walks straight to you.

“Are you alright doll?” she asks softly smiling

“I guess so..” you say hesitantly “It’s just something my boyfriend said to me this morning.”

“Matsun?” she asks and you nod in reply “What did he say?”

After you rehash the situation from this morning Empress scowls in annoyance, “Boys can be such pigs sometimes, such a dick thing to say.”

“I know right!” you respond “Even if I was frigid, which im totally not it’s not even a bad thing nor is it something to reveal to people in public in a ‘jokey’ way.”

“Yeah!” she agrees “I think you should go and give him a piece of your mind.”

“I mean...” your voice falters, when it comes to Matsun you’ve never really given him a ‘piece of your mind,’ even when he makes jokes that you’re not so fond of.

“Come on!” she encourages “I’ll come with you and cheer you on.”

“You just want to come to see Iwa Empress” you say pointedly “But fine let’s go.”

You both power walk to the roof where you see the four seijoh boys sitting down and eating. “Oh hi Y/N/-chan and look Iwa its Emp-chan... isn’t that a surprise!” Iwa blushes and the rest of the guys laugh.

You walk straight up to Matsun and stand right infront of him. “Matsukawa I need to talk to you,” you say folding your arms. “Why whats up babe?” he says, still sitting down with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Alone.” you say turning around walking to a secluded spot. Behind you, you hear Matsun get up and the rest of the boys saying “oooh Matsukawa your in trouble” as they laugh.

“What’s wrong with you today Y/N?” he asks slightly accusatorily.  

“I didn’t appreciate the comment you made today on the way to school,” you say with your arms folded.

“Oh that little comment about you being frigid, come on it was just a joke I wasn’t being serious.” he says lightly laughing but he stops once he sees the glare you give him ”you knew it was a joke right?”

“Matsun, some are your jokes just aren’t funny,” you say “especially when they're about me and our sex life in front of our friends too.”

“Y/N I didn’t mea-”

“You just come off as a huge dick sometimes, and I can’t do this anymore if you keep on making these comments anymore I don’t think I can do this.”

“Woah Y/N, are you threatening to break up with me?” he asks “Over a few little comments?”

“These aren’t a few little comments, sometimes what you say is just unnecessary and rude.”

“Okay well...”

“Well...” you repeat staring at him waiting for to apologise or atleast say something, “fuck you Matsukawa.”

You storm away and walk bout to the group saying “Empress lets go.” She jumps of Iwa’s lap and waves by to them following you back down to the school. You walk into the bathroom and just start to cry, “Y/N whats wrong?” Empress says pulling you into a hug  

“H-He doesn’t care,” you cry “He pretty much excused his stupid comments, passing them off as little ‘jokes,’ that didn’t apparently mean anything.”

“Oh dear,” Empress says consoling you “he’s not worth your time right now.”

“B-but but I love him.” you wail fat tears streaming down your face.

“I know sweetheart, I know,” she says letting go of the hug “so what do you wanna do about him?”

“I don’t know,” you say “I don’t want to break up with him or anything, but is there a point in staying if he’s just going to make these comments again.”

“I don’t know Y/N, but whatever you wanna do I’ll support. Wether it’s keying his car or reading shitty fanfiction and crying.” Empress says making you laugh.

The final bell rings and now it's time to go home, of course you don’t walk with the guys so you just enjoy your own company walking home.

“Y/N! Y/N!” you hear from behind you and of course the only person it can be is Matsukawa.

“What do you want?” you mumbled  

“I..I want too” he says heaving out of breath from the running he had to do “I want to apologise. I need do.”

“Okay...” you respond

“Im sorry, Im so so sorry,” he says “those jokes and comments were stupid and I agree I can be a dick sometimes. Well a lot of the time, but I never wanted to be a dick to you.”

“Well you were.”

“I know I was, and I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse what I said and what I have said before I just hope I can make it up to you.”

“Okay then.”

“So are we not broken up?”

“No we’re not broken up, but it’ll take a lot of making up to do for me to fully forgive you.”

“Great! And I'll spend every day to get you to forgive me.”

Which he did, he spent every day showering you with love and affection. He was way better than he was before, you even went on double dates with Oikawa and his flavour of the week and triple dates with Iwa and his girlfriend. Matsukawa, although he still made jokes, he never targeted them and centered them around you in an insulting way.

AN: I didn’t really like the matsukawa one since i couldn’t really write for him properyl sooo sorry bout that one kids.

[dodo-begone]

It's Tough to be Mortal

Pairing: God!Reader x Hermitcraft

Request: DODO MY BELOVED DO YOU REMEMBER THE CONVO WE HAD ABOUT GOD READER. WOULD YOU BE COOL WRITING THAT BESTIE?

Word count: 4k

Grian was standing in front of his mansion, debating on what needed revamping. Sure it was already enormous but there was something missing about it. It’s been bothering him for ages. An answer that always seemed to appear was something others would call outlandish. Something more than unnecessary.

His mansion needed to be taller.

Did his mansion already tower over the rainforest that lay before of it? Yes. Did it also go pretty far below ground level? Also yes. A grand mansion like this must have something to separate it from the surrounding area. The moat-like feature couldn’t be small either. No, that’d be an injustice to the mansion. What he needed was something to-scale for it. Though it’d be nice if his nether portals would actually fit in the little arches he dug out…

“Hey Grian!” a voice suddenly appeared. It’s unexpected entrance made it seem like a bellow and it was absolutely terrifying to hear.

Grian shrieked, jumping around to see who disturbed him from his thoughts. There, behind him, was little ole you. If he weren’t so spooked, he would’ve found your expression rather hilarious.

Your face was a gorgeous combination of joy with a hint of confusion. The expression was similar to one Grian wore often. He mostly wore it when he was found pranking the other hermits. Although you did many pranks alongside him, it didn’t seem like you were trying to pull on now. “Seem” being the key word. Appearances can be deceiving after all.

“Why hello there,” Grian was grateful for your sudden appearance. Another set of eyes to help decide what was missing. It was like the gods just knew of his plight. “Why’d you come visit?”

“Oh I just wanted to chit-chat,” You reply, your eyes wandering to Grian’s most recent muse. “But you seem somewhat busy at the moment. I’ll come by another time.”

“Wait,” Grian still desperately needed an outsider’s opinion. “We can talk right now. I’m just trying to figure out what my mansion is missing.”

“Are you sure,” you prod. Talking to Grian after you interrupted him felt wrong. He was obviously busy and you disturbed him more than you should’ve. The creative process could be rather elusive once you have it, easily escaping the moment you stop thinking of it.

“Positive.”

“Well, if you insist,” you give in rather easily. How you craved interaction. And it was so readily available here as well. “I mostly came over to thank you.”

“Thank me for what,” Grian was beyond confused. First off you could be thankful for anything. Second off you didn’t need to thank him for anything. Third off he can’t think of anything he’d done for you that you hadn’t thank him for already. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, you know. Everything was a pleasure to do.”

“But i still feel like making you aware,” you reply so nonchalantly to him. In a way it seemed like you didn’t care what he had to say in reply. He knew you did care, you’ve shown you cared in the past. But now it seems to be the opposite. It must’ve been like one of those cases where you don’t listen to a friend when you help them because they think they’re a problem. That’s what it feels like anyways.

“You and the hermits made me realize so many things about life I had either long forgotten or never realized,” your words were spoken in such a soft manner, like you were dreamily reliving whatever you were referring to.

“Again, it wasn’t a problem at all,” Grian reiterated himself. He didn’t want to seem rude but at the same time it honestly wasn’t something that bothered or irked him. Although he may not have realized he was helping you with that, it was nice to know you felt great about your interactions together.

You looked like you were far from finished talking though. So Grian decided to listen to your words. Maybe look at what needed fixing with his mansion. No, that’d be rather rude.

“With our interactions together,” you were restarting whatever you were saying. Oh boy. “the small joys of life have been revealed to me. For example, I never knew those loud boxes of yours had any significance besides just making a loud noise. Well they are made to make noise, but I was unaware of the significance besides that. Now, through you, I have found the sounds rather joyful. I never knew you could trap music in a box until now.”

Grian had been beyond confused with your description. It felt odd and awkward. He only figured out what you meant when you said “music in a box”. Either you meant a music box or a jukebox. Everyone knew what a music box was; everyone had interacted with one in their lifetime whether they remembered it or not. Jukeboxes were also a well known item. Your experience with them felt odd to hear. Very alien. Who doesn’t know what a juke box is?

“Oh don’t even get me started on those little slimy critters,” you excitement seemed to grow exponentially. If he weren’t there to see it, he would have a hard time picturing what that description would entail. “The slimy ones are slugs, right? I think they’re slugs. Not those square ones, no i know those are Slimes. But the cylindrical ones, i think that’s what you call that shape, that most people find rather unpleasant. They live in gardens. Yes, those. I never got to experience them up close until recently. Also the little slugs with shells.” You pause, a look of deep concentration covers your face. A few times you try to restart your description with the name but come up empty.

The pause is long enough to give away that you most likely didn’t remember the name of what you described at all. It was rather cute because you were so deep in thought about it. You looked around too, like anything could give you a clue as to your mystery animal.

“Do you mean snail,” Grian prompted. He was giving you a stick to latch onto. Watching you flail for an answer any longer would be cruel.

“Yes,” you reply gleefully,” those things. Snails and slugs are so sweet. I can’t believe people can dislike them so much. They regard them as pests but they’re just little wonders. It’s so hard to see why people dislike them. Is it because they’re slimy, like blood?”

That description felt like a record scratching or stopping; it felt like the mood got changed completely. “Excuse me,” Grian laughed nervously. He simply must’ve misheard. “Could you repeat that?”

“I absolutely can- wait, which part do you need,” your confusion was rather evident. Did you really have no clue where the problem lay?

“The snail and slug part. Where you were wondering why people didn’t like them. What was the reasoning you gave?”

“Oh that! I said, ‘is it because they’re slimy, like blood’” You reply so helpfully. A child-like glee seemed to emanate from you.

“I don’t think that’s exactly why people dislike them,” Grian began. He didn’t know how to bring it up to you that your description wasn’t wrong but also wasn’t right. “Some people dislike them because they eat, destroy or kill their plants. Or they have a plethora of them where they’re unwanted.”

“Oh,” somehow his answer saddened you. “So they treat them like unwanted kittens?”

Again, you weren’t wrong nor were you exactly right. It just didn’t exactly sit right with him. Because yes, they could be treated like unwanted kittens.

“Sure,” It was simpler to just go along with it. After all, the general idea wasn’t wrong. Anything unwanted was a pest in someone’s eyes and therefore treated like one.

“Oh the poor things,” you start to tear up. “Why do people treat them like that?” You’re tearing up over snails and slugs? This is going to be a long explanation as to why they’re treated so horribly. He really didn’t want to have to break your heart further over the slugs and snails, but your pained yet curious eyes just begged for more information. It was going to be a long day.

______________________________________________________________

The clicking of redstone echoed around the cavern. After a long chain of clicks, lights flickered and moved. It was like the sun, although the appearance was shoddy and limited considering what it was made of.

It’s creation was for one purpose; to replicate the sun but underground. A quirky clock. Very large and eye catching. Much more eye catching than a regular clock anyways. The ceiling was partially ripped out, revealing the dazzling rays of sunlight that peaked over the horizon.

Zedaph, the creator of this magnificent creation, stood below it. Both looking at it in awe and scrupulously. He was only at the beginning stages but this played a key part in showing the progress. Was he actually doing everything right? It already moved once but it did that last time. Oh it’s getting close to changing now, or should be. “Zedaph,” you flung yourself at him, hanging onto him as you two went down. Although not the most pleasant entrance, it was rather endearing. “Oh sorry about that! Looks like I got a wee bit over excited.”

“It’s alright,” you two got off the ground, you much more gracefully than him. “It didn’t hurt too much.”

“Oh my gosh I hurt you,” you frantically search Zedaph over, looking for any sign of damage you might have caused. “Oh i am so so sorry I didn’t mean for any of that to happen I just-” “I said it’s alright,” Zedaph reiterates, gently pushing you away. “I’m perfectly fine. See?” He even does a little twirl for you.

You don’t seem convinced, not in the slightest. But your second attempt to search him gets declined and you’re forced to believe him. At least somewhat.

“So what brings you around here,” Zedaph inquires. “I know my indoor sun-clock system is pretty awesome, but it’s far from complete. And there isn’t really anything else in the cave of contraptions either.”

“I’m well aware of that,” your reply is odd, but easily overlooked. All of the other hermits have their quirks, after all. This is no different. “But I came over for other reasons.”

“Other reasons?” “Well not reasons,” you correct yourself. “What I actually mean is reason. I don’t know why I said reasons. Why did I say- anyways I just wanted to talk with you.”

“Some good ole talking with me,” Zedaph had to clear any doubt, even though there really shouldn’t have been any. “Well I’m quite honored to have you over to talk. What did you want to talk about?”

“Oh I simply wanted to discuss the differences between Hermitcraft and other servers. I knew Hermitcraft was different but I couldn’t put a finger on what it was. That was until recently. That “eureka” moment hit me and I just had to share with someone.” Your self satisfaction was undeniable and honestly somewhat charming in the way you were so pleased and proud by your actions.

“How so,” Zedaph inquires. He wants to listen to you, he really does. But redstone is just calling his name and how can he deny it. So he starts to fiddle with some redstone. Find a way to do the decline of the sun for his clock. He could easily listen to what you were saying and figure this out, right? It couldn’t be that hard.

“So I noticed how everything is so nice and peaceful here,” you remark, slowly following him. “It’s like one of those fairytales you share to your children. So absolutely perfect. Then there are others where chaos reigns like there’s no god but itself. You know what I’m saying.”

“Uh-huh,” Zedaph mindlessly agrees with whatever you just said. “Fairytales are like that.”

“Excellent,” you quietly cheer in joy at his supposed “understanding”. “So anyways this place is so much less malevolently chaotic and more playfully chaotic. And I recently realized something. Something that you guys don’t do that many other servers do. Are you aware of what that is?”

“Yea sure,” Zedaph started to fiddle around with the placement of droppers and redstone. “Go right on ahead.”

“Okay! So what you guys don’t do is something many other servers do- oh I just mentioned that. But anyways! There’s so little violence, it’s truly wonderful, don’t get me wrong. I must inquire though, do you expect there to be any violence? Anytime soon for that matter?”

Zedaph gives a simple “no” before his mind and hands are back onto the redstone before him.

“Well that’s great yet terrible,” you sigh in disappointment. “A true tragedy. Guess I need to go to another server again.”

Those words caught Zedaph’s attention rather quickly. He’d only half listened before but you now had his entire attention.

His mouth spoke faster than he could think. “Why would you go somewhere else? Especially for violence?”

He turns to you and is greeted with your confusion. Perplexion shows itself well on your face, accentuated by a small head tilt. It was a silent way of asking “are you really asking this” or a simple curiosity. Either or really. Yet this didn’t clear his confusion at all. If anything, it made everything just that more muddled. Why are you acting like he should know the answer?

“No I genuinely don’t understand. Can you please explain?” Zedaph hoped you could actually clear his confusion rather than make it worse. You had to. After all, people usually start to clear up what they said after you ask at least once or twice.

“Well you guys have no violence,” You reply so matter of factly. This still doesn’t help. Zedaph’s mild fear and confusion must’ve been evident as you continued with your explanation. “It’s rather simple really. I feed off of violence, in a crude description of it. And I could spark some conflict here rather easily, get my fill without having to leave. But I like you guys too much to just make you suffer so. That’s why I asked. Because if I did it, the conflict would be so much worse than what you guys would create.”

Zedaph was baffled and stumped. Okay that made sense yet didn’t all at the same time. Like yeah some people thrive off of drama, so violence could be similar-ish. He was just making excuses at this point. He really didn’t understand any of that.

“And you guys rarely make sacrifices as well,” you muse, not taking into account that you lost Zedaph literally ages ago.

“Excuse me did you say “sacrifices” because I must’ve heard wrong. Nobody really makes sacrifices in this day and age.” Zedaph was getting more unnerved with each new thing you mention. It’s like the more you talk, the worse everything gets.

“Yeah I said sacrifices. Gosh you’re so silly,” you giggle at his “ignorance”. “People still make sacrifices! You just aren’t in the right crowd when it happens, that’s all.”

“Okay and uuh,” his confusion blurs everything ever more. How could he nicely and politely state this? Is there a nice way to state or ask what in God’s name was going on? “What do they sacrifice, exactly?”

“You know, the usual things,” another answered in a manner that just screamed “you should know this man”. Like a teenager with their fads. “Like items and that jazz. Things that are deemed “important” or whatever. You know, the usual sacrifice stuff.”

“No, I have no clue why,” his irritation was becoming very apparent. “That’s why I was asking.”

“Oh well I’m no good at explaining this type of stuff,” you mutter, going deep into your thoughts. “You know what? I should get going. I don’t want to bother you much more.”

Zedaph sees you walk out a door and tries to stop you, yet you’re gone before he knows it. You just magically poof away the moment you’re out of sight. Wow you are just so darn fast. The awkward energy became too much? Or was it the explanation that chased you away? Did he pressure you too much?

Questions ran rampant in his mind after your interaction. He wanted answers for them, but he’d have to wait until he saw you again to ask.

______________________________________________________________

Many other odd events go on across the server. Each having one thing in common: you. You were in every interaction where something odd was mentioned or happened. After stories were traded about your interaction with each of them, it finally became too much to ignore. Yes, all of them had little quirks or be quirky in general, but this was excessive. Maybe it was just the style you did things, but they needed confirmation.

So they called together a meeting. One where everyone could hear what you had been up to and these anomalous events.

Around their little circle they went, each recounting your actions and the events that happened afterwards. With each person you became more peculiar, more of a figure to be gawked at. There were so many things and all so incredible.

Doc recounted how you were helping him with his redstone and in turn trying to learn the redstone Doc was doing. It was supposed to be a day-long-ish lesson for you two. Everything had gone well, quite normal, in fact.

You were rather studious, watching his actions slowly and taking all he did into memory. A few questions were brought up, which was also a normal thing. Redstone was a rather confusing subject. But then an odd question came out of practically nowhere. Nothing prompted it, as far as Doc was aware. Well, one thing could’ve but even then it was farfetched.

He had mentioned how he was a block or two short on what he needed. A block that’d fit the color scheme of the farm he had been working on. And you simply asked if he needed a block because you had one on you. He replied with a simple yes and that should’ve been the end of the interaction, besides the transition of said item.

Dropped into his unsuspecting hands was a block of bedrock. It was black and grey. Something that went with what he was building with. So he placed it down without much of a second thought. But when he tried to move it later on, he realized what had happened. Though how it all exactly happened was a mystery. How could you have gotten some bedrock?

When everybody at the meeting had shared what was going on, it was clear. Clear but not clear. It was like you had some powers. Admin powers, to be exact. But you weren’t an admin. Far from it. You had only recently joined the server. So that begged the question; how did you obtain those items and why were you reacting the way you were?

Your actions seemed to hold little to no regard for those you found “unimportant” but hyperfocused on those you did. Aloof was another way to describe your demeanor. An aloof person that held a regal air around them. Like nothing could touch them.

Their chatter was growing in volume the longer they were together. Arguing ensued over what could be going on. Was some mythical force at work? Were you some type of hybrid? A hybrid with powers they were unaware of? Were you a hacker? The possibilities were nearly endless but one thing was certain; you were not a normal hermit.

A loud cough broke through the cacophony of voices, effectively silencing them. Confusion soon took hold of the group. Wait, everyone was here though. And nobody in the circle did it. Right? It didn’t sound like any of them, at least. Another cough was released and almost every head in that circle whipped toward the direction the cough originated from. Their answer stood behind them, at the entrance.

You stood there, a confused look adorned your face along with a little head tilt. Why were you here? Did anybody invite you? They didn’t remember inviting you. At least the majority of them didn’t.

Scar quickly got out of his chair, walking over for a hug and some greetings. He thanked you for coming and gave you the unfortunate news that the meeting was coming to a close. Man he really told you the wrong time, huh? That was his bad.

You simper, shifting your view over to the remaining hermits. Grin widening, you give them a squinted smile and a little hand wave.

It was obvious now, didn’t need to be said. But it seemed Scar had invited you along as well. They really should have specified who needed to come to the meeting instead of “everyone” because- well this could work in their favor.

“So what’d I miss,” you ask, making your way over the hermits with Scar by your side. “Scar didn’t exactly tell me what this was all about. But he didn’t know either. Did you all miss some information when you were inviting people?”

They look between each other, trying to find someone with the courage to break the question to you. One of them had to do it, but which one of them would?

Finally a brave soul spoke up. It was their admin, Xisuma. Grateful couldn’t even describe how they felt when he started to talk to you.

“We’ve actually been meaning to ask you something,” Xisuma speaks in a measured and steady tone. One that gave away no weakness he might’ve been experiencing. Like anxiety or how awkward it was to even ask someone something about themselves. Something that would, in usual cases, be seen as an insult or something akin to that. A negative thing.

“Oh,” you play his game, humoring him and going along with the unspoken script. “What do you want to know?”

“It’s actually quite simple really,” Xisuma starts, but soon pauses again. A few false starts later and he’s back on his feet, metaphorically anyways. “This is going to sound very odd and quite possibly rude. But are you, um, are you a god, by chance?”

Silence came to suffocate the room after his question came out into the open. The air was tense with anxiety.

“Oh yea that,” you giggle. “Yea I am. So what?”

“I’m sorry, but did you say “so what”?” Xisuma wanted clarification because there was no way you just answered with that. “So what”? That was definitely an unexpected answer. Honestly they weren’t expecting too much or too much. It was hard to tell.

“Yes I did,” you speak your words slowly and methodically, checking the reactions of everyone in the room. Like a switch your words flow from a molasses like pace to water. “Look I’d absolutely love to get into this and talk with you all about this in depth, but it really isn’t a good idea. I haven’t had the best experiences with explaining this type of stuff with… well with beings like you.”

Everyone was giving each other looks, silently asking each other “is this really going on” or “Excuse me, what now”. Silence settles over the group again. You leave them some time to ponder over the news, but not enough for it to cause any trouble. At least that’s what you think.

You clap your hands and it echoes around the room, once again catching everyone’s attention. “Look like I said, I’d love to explain this all to you. This isn’t the best time though. So why don’t we just chill out? Talk to each other like the friends we are! You guys have cookies, right? Scar said you guys would have cookies.”

[writer-akihiko]

...i would like to request a part 2 of the Kennyo×Reader×Y!Nobunaga plz only if you want to I understand if you cant/dont want to I just loved it so much 😣💘❤

All For Her - Yandere!Nobunaga X Reader X Kennyo PT 2

PART 1, ALTERNATE ENDING

Not gonna lie to you, it was so hard to pick an ending for this. I enjoyed writing the conclusion to this work that I'm sad to see it end. Don't worry, I have many Yandere works I'm still working on!

Because you requested for a second part, I decided to make this a bit of a more hurt/comfort type since I wanted to give you some happiness in this work.

TW: Yandere, Self-Poisoning, Hurt/comfort

"How would you like to rule the world by my side?"

Those words…

Those words were your death sentence.

~○~

"Your death will surely be my greatest victory," Nobunaga cried, swinging his sword at the monk. "The people would find it heroic how I rescued my bride from the Ikko Ikki's leader―"

"You defiled her!" Kennyo roared, unsheathing his staff. He blocked the rampant parries of the Devil King. "And you think that's love."

~○~

"This will be the last time you hold her, Kennyo."

He roared, howling at the pain of the sword. Kennyo fell to the ground, the stab to his shoulder numbing all of his senses as the blade cuts deep into his flesh.

"Perhaps YN would cast you away if I scar your face once again… Oh… How adorable she'd look to you in horror with the new scars I give you," Nobunaga teased, his menacing tone only edging his sword. "Or, I should kill you right here, and your head should be my bride's present…"

"Not so fast, Nobunaga."

A uniform of dark blue came to view, and two twin shining katanas.

"Masamune… Should I consider this a betrayal or a duel?"

"Consider this your loss," Masamune confidently chided.

"Why... Why do you defend a demon One Eyed Dragon?!"

Masamune struggles against Nobunaga's sword, pushing him away and giving distance between them. "Abbot... I'm not defending you. I'm doing this for her," He said, smiling at the man who won his Kitten's heart. "I'll let her be happy with you. Anything, just anything away from the Oda. Now go."

"You'll be in my prayers, Date."

Kennyo hung onto Ranmaru, the swishing of swords and cries of confusion dying down as Ranmaru escorts him away from the battlefield.

Masamune heaves out, taking a large blow to his chest as the Devil King of the Sixth Heaven holds a sword to his neck.

"How would you like to lose the other eye for treason, Date Masamune?"

SHING

"Apologies Lord Nobunaga."

"You owe me one, Masamune."

Ieyasu and Mitsunari raised their swords at Nobunaga, blocking the oncoming attack from reaching Masamune's neck.

"Oi, Date Dragon, don't fall just yet…" Keiji said, holding onto Masamune, with Kojuro trying to stop the bleeding from Masamune's armour.

"I won't Keiji… Not until I see her happy…" He said, passing out from the fight.

~○~

"Kennyo!" You were frightened by the red stains on his kimono as Ranmaru brought him in from the battlefield. Before you confronted Kennyo, Sasuke bowed to you, joining up with his group.

"YN, I'm glad we meet again but I must go on with Kenshin's plan."

You bowed to both Sasuke and Ranmaru, appreciating their help.

You tried to wrap and dress his wound as quickly as you could, salvaging any amount of salve you could. Kennyo winced in pain, enduring it for now.

After dressing his wound, you couldn't stop shaking. He was weak at the moment, barely opening his eyes. You could feel his hand reach out to yours, and you brought it to your cheek.

"YN… I'm sorry I couldn't protect you…" He said, trembling under the thought of the battle.

"He… He did this to you…" You whispered, frightened of the thought of Nobunaga and the terror he brought on to the battlefield.

Kennyo tapped your palm once again, bringing you to listen to him. "The Date Dragon saved me, YN… For that I am grateful…" He coughed, pressing his hand down on his chest. You quickly cleaned up any saliva that seeped out, begging him to take rest.

Enough was enough, you thought.

You couldn’t afford anyone else to be hurt.

Be it your friends in the Oda; Masamune, Hideyoshi, Ieyasu…

Or be it your friends you met through Kennyo; Kenshin, Ranmaru, Yukimura…

You couldn't.

Not for your selfish reasons.

Once Kennyo had passed out, you kissed his temple, whispering your affections and apologies.

"My love… I'm sorry… Live for me, won't you?"

~○~

You ordered one of the guards to carry you on horseback as swiftly as the horse could to the battlefield. You clutched the napkin carefully, your eyes searching for the warlords.

Without hesitation, you jumped off the horse, running up to where Ieyasu and Mitsunari were holding off Nobunaga.

Ripping off your hood, you revealed yourself to the warlords. "NOBUNAGA! I CALL TRUCE!"

Nobunaga saw your face, and he blocked off his allies, reaching out to you.

"She said, she called for truce," Kenshin said, standing next to you and guarding you.

Once all the troops had returned, you allied yourself with the Uesugi-Takeda warlords as the warlords of the Oda alliance reluctantly sided with their commander.

Nobunaga spoke first, "Now, my Princess, did you call truce to willingly return to me?"

You firmly replied, casting away your anxious subconscious at the sound of his voice, "I'd be a fool."

"Instead," You spoke again. "Let the Uesugi-Takeda leave. Let me stay with them, in exchange for the Oda claiming this land and the resources here."

They did not word it, but Kenshin and Shingen stood by you with no rebuttals. Your heart stilled at their silent agreement and support.

Shingen added on, "Consider the Princess collateral for your war, Nobunaga. With her, the alliance has reason to believe you won't be a threat to us."

Nobunaga was unimpressed, reaching for his katana. "What half-assed words… There is no benefit to the Oda in this arrangement."

The other warlords of the Oda were dumbfounded. Hideyoshi spoke up, "My lord! This is considerably generous-"

"Do not cross me."

You shivered, remembering the cold tone of that voice. No, this was not the time to give in. You threatened the warlords, revealing the needle closer to your skin. "Let me go, or you will have nothing to live for, Oda Nobunaga."

Those manipulative eyes quickly looked in horror as you pricked yourself, the poison quickly drawing into your system.

"YN!" Sasuke cried out. Yoshimoto quickly caught you, but you stopped Yoshimoto from touching the wound.

"Suffer as I did, Nobunaga."

The Devil of the Sixth Heaven, in front of his vassals, fell to his knees.

"Ieyasu!" He roared. "Heal her!"

The Tokugawa lord did not budge an inch.

Ieyasu curtly responded. "Call off the war, then I'll do it."

"Too little too late, Nobunaga," Masamune said, sheathing his katana. "Your allies will abandon you if you go on with this war."

"Lord Nobunaga, no, Nobunaga," Hideyoshi claimed. "Return the admirable lord I served, not one who falls so easily."

Kenshin chipped in, "I will retreat my troops as well, Oda. You're not a worthy opponent now, so fight me once you've gained your honour."

The Uesugi-Takeda warlords stood behind you, as Yoshimoto clutched your poisoned body.

"Foolish girl, you knew this would finish him," Yoshimoto whispered, trying to discretely draw out the poison.

"It's done. The Oda will retreat."

The moment Nobunaga said those words, Ieyasu rushed to your side, immediately drawing out the poison from your blood. "Honestly, you're such an idiot after all this time," He scolded, a tear or two slipping down his cheek.

"And not one of you has changed," You said. "Ieyasu, everyone, thank you…"

All you saw was your dearest friends crying out for you as the world turned black.

~○~

Days later, you woke up in your room at Kenshin's place. Nothing but seeing Kennyo entered your mind, as you raced to his room.

"Kennyo!"

"YN?" He was well and up in his futon, being visited by the Uesugi-Takeda group.

You jumped into his arms, finally being able to feel his warmth.

"I heard what you did, my dear…" He said, sitting you on his lap. "Thank you."

You shook your head, "It was for you, for everything you'd granted to me. My freedom, my livelihood… and love," You said, looking up to your lover. "For that, Kennyo, may I marry you and can we stay together until our time ends?"

Kennyo himself was shocked, not expecting such words from you. He turned red, and unexpectedly the warlords still didn't leave the room.

"C'mon old friend! Your lovely lady proposed to you!" Shingen cheered on.

Sasuke and Yoshimoto nodded. "What a wholesome ending," Yoshimoto added on.

"Gosh, why do I have to witness th-"

Yukimura was quickly silenced by his lord and his best friend. Kenshin simply smiled, drinking his sake in response.

Kennyo hugged you, his tears soaking your kimono. "My love… I will. I will live for you and stay with you until our time ends."

"You swear on it?"

"Of course, it’s all for you."

~○~

"LN Kenta! Are you listening?!"

The boy slumped his head to the desk, reiterating the history lesson, "-And the leader Ikko Ikki was rumoured to have escaped the battlefield with Lady LN YN but no proof has ever been found except for a bear made by Lady LN left in Kennyo's temple…"

"Right!" The history teacher exclaimed. "Next test will be about Oda Nobunaga's married life, including the tale of Lady LN and all relating battles…"

Kenta shuffled out of the classroom, slinging his jacket over his shoulders and then and there, he saw his lover Mai waiting for him.

"You could've eaten on your own…"

She smiled at her boyfriend, leaning on his shoulder. "Well, food's better when you're around people you love!"

Unbeknownst to the couple's eyes, a stalking figure of the captain of the baseball team watched them, his gaze envious at LN Kenta.

"Oi! Oda-senpai!"

"Oda Nozaki! Hurry up!"

The dark haired boy shifted away from his hiding spot, putting on his cheerful façade in front of his kouhai and friends. "Guys! I'm here…"

"Sheesh… Took you long enough…"

"I bet Oda-senpai was staring at the Drama Club's tailor again… Katakura Mai-san right?"

Nozaki shushed his teasing kouhai, shoving their caps straight on. "Hey, don't waste your time on gossip. We've got a war to train for."

"It's just a friendly match Nozaki!"

As the group went ahead, Nozaki trailed behind, taking one more glance at his beloved Mai.

It's alright, my little fireball. This rivalry between me and Kenta…

It's all for you.

[eerna]

Okay so,

I finished Empire of Gold and I’m —

I loved book 3 !! So much!! Qualms about Dara aside, I very much loved it and am happy for Ali and Nahri. I’m sad for the things they lost but happy for the things they can build — and speaking of Nahri, omg!!!! The plot twist!!!! Hearing her family’s actual story got me so emotional I feel so bad for her and her parents

And I have a thing for water magic so obviously Ali’s arc just had me hook line and sinker (I just had to do it I’m sorry)

And yeah with Dara… idk. I like the goal he has set out to do, but idk if he deserves Nahri’s good graces? I think what happened to him in this book was awful but it still doesn’t excuse everything else he did?? And Nahri never really realized how s t u p i d she was in book 2 and apologized to Ali for that?? And I still don’t buy the fact that they so *deeply* loved each other but that’s just me, and Nahri kept reiterating how she’s smart and guarded and ignores her impulsive heart yet that’s not how she acted in book 1 at all?? And she talks about how Dara was the first person she trusted and I’m still over here wondering… why tho?? So idk… I just think the whole Dara situation is very complicated and messy, and I can’t say I was able to feel sorry for him throughout book 2 and half of book 3, and I still think he deserves some punishment. Like… I’m glad he finally realized he was controlling and wrong and pretty much a mindless puppet but the fact that it came so late with so much blood on his hands… idk

I loved the series tho! Book 3 is my favorite, and I thank you for introducing it here !! I shall now go race to make some art of Nahri and Ali ✨

AWWWW I'M VERY GLAD YOU LIKED IT~~~ Yeah, Ali and Nahri caught me completely unprepared, but by the time she was asking him to ditch their higher calling with her and stay in Cairo I was already Sold. I loved her finding out more about her past and growing into a heroine, I loved his marid arc, I loved his family, just...... gosh this book is so so good.

And yeah. I know the writer tried to do a "what is the best way for a horrible person to redeem themselves?" sort of a point with Dara, but it failed miserably. I just have the feeling she didn't go far enough. If she let Nahri truly be angry with him like she deserved to, if they didn't part as a Tragic Epic Breakup TM, and if his redemption mission wasn't so self serving and UTTERLY USELESS for the people he actually hurt, I would have liked it. I truly enjoyed his story throughout the first half of the book! But then he was turned into a tragic slave so we would feel bad for him and it overshadowed what he did of his own volition. Gosh.

But yes, it is such good books either way, and have fun~~

[innovativestruggles]

SouGou theories, thoughts and speculations based on canonical evidence

Alright, I know I am so epically late to the party just like I was with Haikyuu and TsukiYachi but I am here now and I am so sad that a lot of the SouGou shippers have...disappeared...

Regardless, I still want to put forward my own thoughts and speculations on these two because they have given me brainrot over the past few weeks. 

So much like the earlier post I did with TsukiYachi, this one will be similar, except I am basing everything on the anime as I have not read the light novel (tbh light novels aren’t really my thing so...). Just to reiterate, when I make any speculations and theories, they are always based on canonical evidence, and of course my own interpretation. I put forward solid evidence so people can see where I am coming from and what I am yapping on about. People are free to draw their own conclusions of what they see in canon, so just because I have a theory with evidence, it does not invalidate another person’s theory of the same evidence...if that makes sense?

Every time I watch a new anime, I always come in with a very neutral mindset. I have a fascination with relationships (hence my ship heavy blog) so I ship characters based on their level of chemistry and compatibility.

Because I am so fashionably late to the party, a lot of the speculations below have been discussed by other SouGou fans. Essentially when I read some of their posts, they pretty much validated what I saw. So I want to credit all those SouGou stans who did the hard yard first on their speculations of these two. This post may already have what was speculated, but it’s nice to have it all in one big post. I will of course add my own thoughts and interpretations as well. So, happy reading!

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY LONG POST

Gou’s Relationship with Other Characters

Sousuke did not make his debut until Season 2, so for all of Season 1, the focus was on Gou and the other characters. To be honest, nothing stood out to me in terms of shipping potential with Gou in Season 1. I do not go into watching anime with the intention of shipping characters - the shipping just automatically occurs when two characters have good chemistry. So with Gou in Season 1, all I saw was a manager being incredibly supportive, friendly, strong willed and determined to see her friends through the swimming club. You may have read my other post on Free! and toxic masculinity, but I did mention in there that what I loved most about Free! was the friendship and the emotional vulnerability. Because Gou is a side character, we never get to see too much of her and how she would develop as a character outside her obsession with muscles. But as viewers, we get the gist of her sweet personality.

Kyoto Animation

Before I dive into the speculations, I want to point out something with KyoAni. For starters, this studio is known for its amazing adaptational works of manga and light novels. When it comes to anime that does not purely focus on romance, they are so so so good with romantic undertones. As much as I do enjoy romance anime, I enjoy ones with subtle undertones of romance even more. I have watched a large portion of anime from KyoAni and I can definitely come to the above conclusion. Although Free! is not a romance genre, there is very subtle light teasing of potential developments between certain characters. Like I mentioned in my Free! post on toxic masculinity, I will disregard that just because the male characters are hugging, crying and showing vulnerable emotions to each other, it does not necessarily mean that there is a romantic development. The very subtle undertones of romance I could see is mostly between Gou, Sousuke and Momo (I will explain more later). So what I am trying to point out in this paragraph is that Free! does have minute traces of romance, because based on what other anime KyoAni produced, there are similarities in how they portray romantic undertones.

SouGou Initial Meeting

The initial meeting did not particularly stand out to me until I watched more scenes and interactions between SouGou later on in the series. What I noticed was the level of admiration Gou has for Sousuke. Again, this was not apparent when I watched the initial meeting scene on its own. I had to see a culmination of scenes between them to realise.

Oh gosh just look at how happy she is seeing Sousuke. If you go back and watch this scene again, she legit just shoved Momo out the way and ran to Sousuke. Lmao poor Momo!

Also....

Momo still staring at SouGou the whole time...

Momo getting pissy lololol (and super jelly)

Gou just looking so happy staring after Sousuke...ughh my heart....

Middle School

Just something I picked up. When Rin transferred to Iwatobi during middle school, it sounded like Gou did not go with him. So she stayed behind in the same middle school together with Sousuke after Rin left. See below.

Because Gou is one year younger than Sousuke, the scene above just sounded like he stopped talking to her when he left for Tokyo when he was a first year high school student and she a third year middle school student...and then the below scene confirmed when and the reason...

In the above scene, Sousuke explained that he hurt his shoulder in the summer of his first year of high school, and then he heard from Gou that Rin was visiting Japan at the time, so I am guessing SouGou must have stopped talking to each other around that time when Sousuke injured his shoulder. The injury was most likely why he stopped talking to her because he knew the consequences...that if Rin found out through Gou... then yeah... so to him it was better to cut off contact with both siblings...omg my heart...my poor baby Sousuke...

Anyways, point is they were definitely still talking when Rin went to Iwatobi and then later Australia. So I wonder how close they were to each other...? They do sound very close...wonder if they walked to and from school together...omfg my heart hurts again...aaaahhhhhhh

Childhood Friends

This trope is so cute and I really like the whole ‘he is my brother’s best friend’ kind of thing. Because we all know how overprotective Rin is of Gou and if there is anyone who is good enough for her, Rin would definitely think it be Sousuke.

LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE OMG. Love this official artwork of all three of them. And Sousuke has such a sweet gentle expression when he is looking at Gou...

Best part also is that subtle teasing of these two. Anime is always about camera work and specific panels as well, so it just looked like to me that they really wanted to emphasise this scene between SouGou. The snow, the Christmas tree, the childhood friends - all in one frame.

Indirect Moments

These are the moments that started me on the SouGou ship! 

Gou sees Sousuke at the train station right after he has been brooding about his shoulder injury

Gou sees Sousuke at the hospital

What I really really liked about these scenes is that every single time Sousuke was having a down moment, or a vulnerable moment in relation to his shoulder injury, Gou happened to be there and witness it. It may be coincidental that she always happen to be in a place and time when Sousuke wasn’t feeling great. I was initially wondering why she never approached him in the moment and then you look at Sousuke’s pissy face and that’s probably why lmao. Regardless, Gou probably knew his state of mind, and hence decided to leave him to it. The look she gave him was more out of curiosity rather than concern but because the anime never went into detail about what she was thinking at the time, it’s hard to tell. Most important thing is that Gou was there during his vulnerable moments, before anyone knew of his shoulder injury...

Jelly Momo

Ngl, I absolutely love Momo, not only because he’s a hilarious character but because Sousuke always unintentionally cockblocks him when it comes to Gou. I just find it so funny. The poor thing. And Gou just has absolutely zero interest in him....

The thing is, Momo knows that Sousuke constantly gets in the way...it has happened several times already and I think he is also beginning to realise that Gou is probably quite fond of Sousuke, hence his very vocal comment about paying attention to him. i just love it how the anime framed it like this because you know it’s a running gag going on between all three.

Also, the look on Sousuke’s face in that above scene...you can’t see it but if you go back and watch it, and it’s only a split second when Momo moves his head, it’s absolutely hilarious. He legit has a “wtf” look on his face 😂

Just going to put this above scene here where Momo gets dragged away. Poor thing. I think at this point, Gou is catching on to something with Sousuke...

After Momo bombarded Gou with his hilarious hobbies, these two just ended up alone together ❤️

Season 3′s ending credits depict a lot of parallels between characters as well as some level of competitiveness between them. So maybe it is just a coincidence here but Sousuke and Momo together probably continues to depict the hilarious running gag between them and Gou. LOL!

Gou’s Concern

No really, when Sousuke walked out and decided to swim with his shoulder injury, the concerned look on Gou’s face. This was the first time in the whole entire series (season 3 included) where Gou showed this much concern...my heart. 

When there are problems in the Iwatobi swim club related to a character, a lot of the issues and concerns revolved around the other characters helping each other (Gou would be excluded). She is just a supporting character that does not get a lot screen time. Aside from her managerial duties, we don’t see too much of her during important/significant moments for a main character - unless she is interacting with Rin in some way. So her very minimal “interactions” with Sousuke during his vulnerable moments are considered somewhat significant (even if she just saw him walking by) because they are more symbolic than anything.

Off Screen Interactions

Okay, the amount of times Sousuke talked about Gou...they clearly talk a lot off screen and whether that be through text messages, phone calls or meeting up, I believe they are a combo of all three. I have several reasons to believe that they do hang out together quite a bit. 

1. The amount of times Gou keeps bumping into Sousuke randomly (ngl the times the audience sees is probably only a fraction to what actually goes on behind the scenes) 

2. In the later episodes, they have been seen walking home together. 

3. Some of the things Sousuke said to Rin about Gou would warrant more of a face to face conversation rather than something through text message. I mean unless they talk on the phone (that would be so fucking adorable aaaaahhhhhh) 

4. In the CD drama, they have been shown to hang out just the two of them over mediocre stuff so I am sure that would have met up and talked more about other more deeper things with each other

Gou obviously confided in Sousuke how lonely she felt because her older bro was neglecting her

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE TALKED ABOUT HER! That obviously indicated they do interact quite some bit off screen. Judging from the things they talked about, it sounded like she was filling him in with what’s going on in her life..and you know just every day stuff... I love it! They are so casual and so comfy with each other <33333333

Platinum Abs

Not counting the fact that I almost choked on my drink when I saw this for the first time, but I was curious to see what Gou thought of them. So I waited....and waited...and waited...and it never came, despite the fact that she was in his presence multiple times when he was looking like this....

And I came across several older posts that pointed this out and it totally validated what I felt as well. Gou, the muscle obsessive freak has not spoken a word about Sousuke’s nationally ranked swimmer’s perfect body. WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT THEM? HE’S FUCKING MASSIVE!! Like..all over....holy shit just look at those guns...like damn fine man.... anyways... so Gou, why have we not heard a single word from you about them? To her, they are probably the best of all the characters in the series ...

And my guess is... Sousuke is most likely special to her. She does not see him as merely an object of muscles (much like she does with the other characters including her own bro) but something more. And whether that is consciously or unconsciously, the outcome is still the same. Because when someone means a lot to you and if you like someone in that way, you are less likely to see them as an object of some fantasy...

The OVA

Yo not gonna leave this one out and if there is anything that really pushed this ship further, it was definitely the OVA.

Sousuke is so pedantic about what people call him (unless you are Nagisa...which he has almost no words for ...). So the only one who can add “kun” to his name is Gou <333333

I’m not going to delve too deeply into this as

1. It is self explanatory

2. A lot of people have already discussed this topic

But, overprotective Sousuke being a sweet guy and lending Gou his jacket is something out of a shojo manga. Even more shojo is that he;

1. Did it himself and not just giving the jacket to her

2. Got overly pissed off at Ai for drenching Gou

3. COULDN’T LOOK AT GOU WHEN HE GAVE HER THE JACKET....like the whole time....ksfklafkhgdshgjdsh

Sousuke isn’t very good with expressing himself, so this scene, out of his own sheer awkwardness, really played into the intimate nature of this potential ship. I’ll explain more later...

P. S. LOOK AT HOW ENORMOUS THE JACKET LOOKS ON GOU...she so schmol (and Sousuke is just massive...). Legit they look like a couple on a date...

Sunset Meeting

Ngl when I first started watching Season 3, this scene came out so unexpectedly I had to replay it just so it would process in my mind that it happened. But aside from the fact that it was framed in a shojo manga kinda way i.e. Gou running towards Sousuke, then walking together in the sunset and then talking about deep and meaningful stuff...you get the drift...I absolutely loved it how Gou was the very first person Sousuke told about his surgery’s success. Omg..swimming and the success of the surgery just meant so much to him and he was already telling Gou about it...

Everything about the particular scene was so so intimate. The scenery, the conversation, the tone of voice, the colours used......everything! Just look at how happy Gou is....

And damn they walked home together ... my heart cannot take it anymore aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

Running Gag

I did notice this trend going on but it didn’t cross my mind until I read a post that it was like a thing between SouGou. Honestly it is so so cute! Gou has this excited pitched, giggle-ish, admiration-like tone every single time she calls out and runs to him. It’s so sweet. You actually never hear it ever when she talks or calls out to any other characters in the series, so Sousuke is indeed very special to her <3

Also...something about Sousuke walking alone and Gou either noticing him or running to him...

Gou and Momo’s Mistaken Date vs. Gou and Sousuke’s Mistaken Date

In Part 4 of the Free Take Your Marks movie, Rin walks by a burger shop and noticed Momo and Gou sitting together and having lunch. He mistakenly thought they were going out on a date, and before the rest of the Iwatobi team could come to the table after order their food, Rin gets a call from Sousuke telling him that he cannot find his way. So Rin dashes off to save Sousuke still with the misunderstanding. The episode is absolutely hilarious on Rin’s part.

Then in the CD drama, there is a story titled “Sousuke and Gou’s secret date.” Of course it is a case of ‘mistaken identity’ but as I stated earlier, these two would hang out with each other to discuss superficial things, so I am certain that they do hang out with each other on occasions to talk about other more deep and meaningful things as well. Considering the things Sousuke has been telling Rin about Gou, you can make an educated guess that SouGou do have their alone times quite a bit off screen.

Anyways, so this is the part where I believe Free has its subtle romantic undertones. I mentioned in my toxic masculinity post that when the male characters were being vulnerable, hugged or cried, that it does not necessarily mean they are gay, or that there would be any romantic development between the characters. You could say the same with SouGou as well, however, the difference lies in how the anime framed it, and the biggest tip that pushed from just a friendship kind of thing to a teasing of a potential romantic thing is the “secret date” part and the running gag between Gou, Sousuke and Momo. We know Momo clearly has romantic interest in Gou, and the interesting thing is...Sousuke being placed in between Gou and Momo numerous times throughout the anime to signify that there is a potential triangle going on. Does this make sense? It is the nuances as a viewer that you can pick up, and it is even more so if you can understand Japanese. I sometimes switch the subtitles off and really just watch what they say and it’s a completely different view. Hard to explain...but that is the vibe I get.

Extras

I just had to put this scene in. JUST LOOK AT GOU LOOKING AT SOUSUKE OMG. She totally loves him <3 YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!

I always love me some official artwork of these two, and disregarding the fact that there are four other guys around and Nagisa just being the little helper he is, SouGou wrestling is something I just need to have in my life <3 I just love the light subtle tease between these two. Thank you KyoAni! And them holding hands... I’m ded...

Sousuke’s Feelings

This is purely interpretation based on what I have seen so far and of course when I am writing a full post like this about SouGou, it does help piece the puzzle together a little more. Tbvh, I strongly believe that Sousuke has repressed feelings for Gou. My reasoning is quite complex. Sousuke is a bit of a difficult character. He is aloof, serious and can be standoffish. He is not good with expressing his emotions and feelings, yet he does questionable things if he thinks it is for the best for those he cares about. Obviously noticeable when he lied to Rin about his shoulder injury, and of course completely stopped talking to Rin and Gou after being injured. But he deeply cares for those around him, and will go out of his way to help, even if it is to the detriment of his own welfare. 

Sosuke hanging out with Gou and talking to her and being around her is already an aspect of his kindness, that he would do this to anyone he cares about. But what I meant about repressed feelings for Gou was more evident in the OVA, and I think that is where the slight nuances come into play. Sousuke is overprotective of Gou and he most likely sees her as a little sister, considering he grew up with her alongside his best friend. But I think when it comes down to more intimate moments i.e. giving Gou his jacket and just not being able to look at her, I think that small nuance does give a small insight into Sousuke’s feelings for Gou. It may be minute but it’s there, and the way the anime framed that scene, it evoked a host of response from the viewers. That in itself is enough for viewers to make a determination as to what Sousuke might be feeling towards Gou at the time ... and it was probably more than a platonic kind of way...

Just to let you know that Sousuke most likely would not act on these feelings because of who he is as a person. And if there is any possibility that things could go awry between him and Rin that concerns Gou, Sousuke would not put their friendship in jeopardy. So if there was ever a way that Sousuke’s repressed feelings for Gou could surface, it would be if Gou initiates.

Gou’s Feelings

If you read through this entire damn thesis so far I think you could see that Gou’s feelings for Sousuke is a lot more overt. She is so incredibly fond of Sousuke and it is just the way she behaves around him, speaks to him and looks at him. It sends a different vibe comparatively to when she interacts with any of the other male characters. Because Gou is a side character, as viewers we don’t get to see much of her, her development or her thoughts and feelings, especially in relation to Sousuke. 

Concluding Thoughts

What an incredibly long post. I didn’t realise how long it was until I scrolled back up. But really, this was so fun to write. I enjoy writing about side characters and the little hints that anime and manga give us as viewers. This is the best thing about storytelling, that is so much more than what you see before you.

The great thing about SouGou is the incredibly compatibility they have with each other. They have a lot of the common tropes found in anime that sets them up for a future pairing. I mean,, Free is not a romance genre so there wouldn’t be any emphasis placed on how one character feels about another in a romantic sense. So the anime has placed some gentle teasing in the background with its frame (usually what you see in shojo manga for example), official artworks, and CD dramas. It’s a very subtle undertone that the viewers would have to dig through and pick up out of the mass of fanservice and the storylines of the main characters. Yet this is the reason why I love KyoAni because of its numerous layers of stories and undertone!

In my opinion, if there was ever any pairing that comes out of Free, it would definitely be SouGou - it’s because the way the anime (and probably the light novel as well) set them up and emphasised on important aspects of their relationship without going into detail about it.

I gotta say, the reason why I love these two so much is because they remind me so much of TsukiYachi pairing from Haikyuu. There are parallels between the characters and I think I just enjoy shipping ones with that level of complexity and compatibility - the whole opposites attract kinda thing (and the height difference).

So what do you think? Are there any SouGou stans out there left? I’m keen to see what the 2021 Free movie will entail for these two and the potential release of Season 4 (most likely in 2022).

Fingers crossed for some excitement!

Also...I had to crop this <3

[inkykeiji]

Hi Clari!!! I hope you're doing well and had an amazing weekend! I'm sorry if you've already answered something like this before! 😊

I was having big thoughts about the twins, but then I couldn't remember if you'd mentioned the other Todoroki siblings existing in this AU!?!

You may have done and I just missed it, but if the other siblings already do, and if not, did exist in the AU, what would the twins relationship be like with them?

I can imagine Touya being the more approachable of the two, I feel he'd click quite well with Fuyumi perhaps? They both give me those sort of caregiver vibes 😅

Natsuo and Dabi I can imagine being close, not quite as close as in the Touya - Nii series, but I can still imagine Natsuo looking up to both his big brothers because they're so cool! (Dabi is just that smidge cooler to him though 😌)

Would Shoto still be Enji's perfect poster boy, or would Touya have taken that spot?

Would the twins be open to sharing the reader with Natsuo like Touya-Nii did in the Snowman and Me series? Or is it strictly something kept between the twins?

Do the Todoroki family know about the reader and the twins relationship? Do they approve?

There are just too many thoughts for my one track mind 😩😌

It'd be really interesting to know your take! --- The anon who dreamt about living with Dabi on a ranch 🐥

hello sweetpea!!!! oh you’re so lovely <33 thank you bb i hope you had a wonderful weekend as well!!! <3

BUT ANONNNN I AM SHOUTING HAHAHAHA oh my gosh okay first of all you and i have got to be on the same wavelength today bb hehehe because i haven’t mentioned their relationship with the other todoroki siblings much on my blog but i do have (and have had) their relationships with each mapped out in my notebook for months now and i was literally looking it over when you sent this in!! <33

AH SO MANY GOOD QUESTIONS LET’S GET INTO IT WEEEEEEE <3

so first i’m going to link you to this post (which kinda just delves into their relationship with each other but touches upon other relationships in the family) and this post (which discusses dabi’s reaction to yelling and touches upon his trauma related to enji; pls heed the tws!!) but to reiterate and all that:

twin!touya pretty much gets along with all of his siblings in some way. he’s the perfect model of an older brother. as i mentioned in the first post linked above, touya is just really good at playing the part. twin!dabi, on the other hand, barely gets along with anyone other than his twin. he’s extremely difficult to be around about 97% of the time.

natsuo definitely does think both of his older brothers are super super cool, and he follows them around like a puppy when they’ll let him, but he’s actually closer to twin!touya than he is to twin!dabi, simply because twin!dabi won’t let him get too close; dabi’s extreme trust issues get in the way. still, natsuo was the only one there for dabi when touya had been taken from him, and that forged quite a lasting and deep bond, even if it terrifies dabi to this day, even if dabi tries his very hardest to shove natsuo away because of it, even if it’s still extremely complex; a jumbled, tangled mess in his heart. but natsuo understands, and he’s nothing if not resilient, so he kinda just bounces back from it each and every time. but twin!touya has a special soft spot for natsuo, because natsuo was there to take care of his baby twin brother when he wasn’t, and to touya, that means the whole world to him <3 touya hopes that one day his twin will let his guard down enough to let natsuo into his heart, too.

fuyumi is incredibly suspicious of twin!touya. she’s smart as a whip, just like he is, and she can read him like a book and knows when he’s up to something; and he’s always up to something. all she wants is for her family to get along, for god’s sake, and she knows touya’s a threat to that, because he knows how ridiculously manipulative he is, and how he’s planning something against their father—fuyumi is the only of the todoroki siblings that actually has sympathy for their father. thus, even though touya has told her time and again not to worry about it, that everyone will be happy in the end, she knows ‘the end’ does not include their father in any way, shape, or form. still, with that being said, they get along quite well, and they’re constantly throwing teasing quips each other’s way <3 when it comes to twin!dabi, fuyumi’s heart positively breaks for him. he shoves her away, too, because he doesn’t know how to deal with her overwhelming love, but that does not deter her in the slightest. she was there, she witnessed what happened to him, she helped natsuo take care of him in every way she could; in fact, fuyumi took care of that entire family after her mother left. but she has such a soft spot for twin!dabi in her heart, a special type of unconditional love and sympathy for him, and she’ll always be there for him, no matter how many callous insults he spits her way. she views him akin to a terrified animal, and she understands why he lashes out, and sometimes—very rarely, but sometimes—he will let her take him into her arms and hold him, hug him, shush him. she was pretty much the mother he never had for those years when he was without his twin, even though she’s a little younger than he is. so there’s a very interesting, very complex bond there as well.

shouto loves both of his eldest brothers so much. twin!touya loves him back, thinks he’s an absolutely brilliant kid and such a kind, beautiful soul, but he can’t help but feel some resentment towards him; residual feelings that have been transferred from his twin to him. still, he tries to bury them, because he knows none of this is actually shouto’s fault, and that their father is the true villain here, the true one to blame. as i mentioned in the first post linked above, twin!dabi hates shouto with a fierce passion, because he feels betrayed for his twin, betrayed by the way their father so quickly found an (inferior, in his opinion) replacement for touya—to mold into the perfect puppet—and he himself feels a little slighted, too, angry and offended that their father didn’t even try to mold him in replacement of his twin and just went straight to the next ‘perfect’ child, because twin!dabi was too much work, he’s sure. shouto is terrified of dabi, but he looks up to touya with absolute stars in his eyes <3

rei feels incredibly guilty. she likes to pretend that she doesn’t know why she took only twin!touya when she really should’ve taken them both, and will regret for the rest of her life seperating the two of them for a few years. it was incredibly selfish of her, to snatch touya up only because she knew it would hurt her husband the most, and to leave twin!dabi and the rest of her children there with such a brute for a father. dabi hates her for it, and she doesn’t blame him. she hopes one day he can find it in his heart to forgive her for such a horrible mistake, but she knows it’s a slim possibility. she is very, very close to twin!touya though.

i have already touched upon their relationship with enji in the posts linked above, but basically twin!touya IS still enji’s favourite, and enji only latched onto shouto after rei took touya away (during the divorce). touya is still first in line for the family business, and shouto acts as more or less of a back-up, in case touya fails. he’s also easier to control, which is quite appealing to enji, too.

and then, as you can tell, the twins themselves have a very, very unhealthy codependency on each other; they can barely function without one another now <3

ANYWAY LOVELY, THOSE ARE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE SIBLINGS + THEIR PARENTS!!! to answer your last few questions:

would the twins be open to sharing the reader with natsuo like touya-nii did in the snowman and me series? or is it strictly something kept between the twins? 

no, they absolutely would not share her with natsuo, this is something very special and sacred and kept strictly between them <3

do the todoroki family know about the reader and the twins relationship? do they approve? 

EHEHEHEHE this is something i’m really really looking forward to exploring in the future of the series!!! because the angst potential is totally insane hehe <3 the answer is, it’s extremely complicated. enji doesn’t approve at all. like, at ALL. he hates to think what the press would think, if this ever got out, and he knows dabi would be more than willing to leak it; anything to hurt his father, right? natsuo thinks it’s SO awesome and super hot, fuyumi thinks it’s quite cute how they share everything, but worries for the poor sweet reader since she knows how her brothers can be, and shouto can’t even think about it without blushing and getting super embarrassed; he isn’t really sure what he thinks yet, but he feels like it’s more their business than his own. rei is on the fence; she wants her boys to be happy, but is this really the best and healthiest way to do it? does she even have a say in it at all? is it really her place or her right to step up and say something? she isn’t sure.

i hope this answers all of your questions bb!!!! thank you so much for asking aaaah i LOVE talking about stuff like this and i am super super excited to explore it deeper within the series!!!! AH EHEHE I REMEMBER U AND UR DREAM <3333 aw such a cute lil chick emoji 🥺🥺 i hope you’re doing wonderful my friend and i wish you many more touya dreams in the future <3

[holdinghandswithastatue]

my thoughts on the lorien legacies reborn series [spoilers]

i think it sucked

sorry

i loved most of the characters to bits and they all deserved better (in terms of characterisation, plot)

nigel. oh my god nigel i love him so much

ran takeda deserved SO MUCH BETTER im still mad

the way they hinted at a whole bunch of romances but only made the one i dont give a shit about canon

i really really hate white girl taylor cook

yes, having a white american girl as the main character IS diversity :))))))

isabela is cool as shit and i wish i was her

i love their fleshed out backstories but i wish i couldve heard more

THERE WAS LITERALLY NO DEVELOPMENT IN MOST OF THEM (personally i think the series was cut short bc they all had so much more room to grow)

(it gave off percy jackson movies energy)

it hurts me how the writing hinted that nigel would get his heroic moment but he literally never did 

and then nigel was left with what? his only best friend dead, his parents corrupt assholes and him still not having healed from his trauma- still the underdog

ALSO: NIGEL WAS THE ONLY CANONICALLY GAY CHARACTER (except for maybe daunphen but still that doesnt really count bc its only implied) but they just like. didnt give him a love interest. 

nic was literally right there- that homoerotic moment really hit me and i just read it over and over

ran’s death was really well done but also COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE

if isabela had just told einar to stfu and shoot lucas it wouldve all been over and ran and five would still be alive 

speaking of which, ran and five were a super cute couple/friendship i cant tell but i like their dynamic a lot

five saying that he “actually likes” ran is essentially a confession of love in his terms

caleb. i liked him. but he was so boring and straight. i think his development wouldve been great if they just DID SOMETHING WITH HIM

also idk whether to ship isabela with caleb or daunphen but personally i like to think of daunphen as trixic which is unrelated

caleb literally. had potential. troubled home life. not as bad as the others but he never really stopped being an uptight little bitch

if he had, i think he wouldve been great

I LOVED EINAR’S GROUP’S DYNAMIC

do they have a name? i feel like they do but i cant remember

like... what a mix of characters, i love how they work together

personally i think theyre just the gay friend group

on the topic of einar,

i KNOW i shouldnt love him the way i do but if you didnt want me to love him you SHOULDNT HAVE GIVEN HIM REDEEMING QUALITIES

(same with five)

literally einar’s final monologue hurt me so much even though he nearly did drown nigel in gen 1 but still

“will you- will you finally listen?” yea kill me now 

i really hated how they brought the villain in in the final book. the fuck. who even gives a shit about lucas. no one remembers him

also it feels slightly political to make the main villain a radical christian who wants to convert the earth garde by killing them

listen i could talk about einar all day

i think he and isabela were a great friendship... of sorts

i mean did einar ever really let anyone close enough to him to make friends

but hes just so... S O F T

no hes not 

but he is to me 

ew

kopano really deserved a better gf than taylor

god 

also i wanted to see more of miki

again i will reiterate i think nic and nigel wouldve made a great couple

i keep forgetting theyre all just teenagers and thats kinda painful

einar was just a kid bro 

SO MUCH NUANCE TO HIS CHARACTER THAT WAS NOT EXPLORED

so much potential

hmm am i forgetting anyone?

lets talk about john smith

that man has a hero complex and its really annoying and part of me is really glad he wasnt the one to save the day this time but also i didnt want ran to die so

i think it wouldve been fitting if einar just ended it all since he kinda started the whole fiasco

fuck bea barnaby and her homophobic (and also mass-murdering) ass

the john and marina thing shouldve been forgotten completely no one ships them pls 

they had their one true loves just let them be without an s/o thanks

ella deserved to have more screen (? its a book) time bc she was my favourite character in the original series

OH MY GOD I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT NINE YET

hes the loml

also the part where lucas (in the body of john) rips off his cybernetic arm really hurt me

i kinda wish taylor died instead of ran

kill off the heroic white girl instead: the fifth wave style

john is such a stupid selfish bastard honestly but having a hero complex a valid flaw but still. i cannot deal with his bullshit all the time

writing one line on john and nine reuniting was cruel when you know most of the fandom ships them

also i like einar’s softening up near the end, and treating the group like they were his actual friends 

i wish we couldve seen more of them

i love myself a found family ragtag group situation

even though 2 of them died 

and the other has an inhibitor in his head, gets shocked every 3 minutes and took the fall for everyone

AS HE SHOULD THOUGH, MOST OF IT IS HIS FAULT

but hes just a kid

my thoughts are so scattered

omg stop i think i relate to einar... no..... not the literal mass murderer “terrorist” psychopath

he’s uptight and always needing to be in control

but he feels the pressure of having to be perfect to everyone else, and thus falls apart on the inside

gosh i wish i didnt love einar the way i do

final thoughts (but i’ll probably add even more): ran :’( nigel :( taylor >:( caleb :| einar :’( isabela >:) daunphen :D john :|

i hope no one reads this

[fangirleaconmigo]

Oh my gosh I believe in you!!! These short prompts will serve as good practice I think :) I can’t wait to see what you come up with ^_^ For a prompt, what about a sleepover or roommate movie night with geralt and jaskier? I feel like it could be so cute, whether as friends or partners hehe

Ok so I’m sorry this took so long. I asked for prompts then got too intimidated to do them. But here’s my first one. It’s a fluffy modern AU. (MY FIRST MODERN AU) Sleepover. Sweet, funny, rated teen plus. I hope you enjoy. About 3500 words, so I also put it on AO3.

Jaskier, a few days before New Years Eve

“No!” shrieked Jaskier into the phone. “Do NOT say a THING to him, Essi Daven.”

“Ooooo, oh no, you last named me,” said Essi in mock fear. “I’m in trouble now.”

Jaskier was sitting on his brilliant green tufted sofa, in front of his expansive television. He grabbed a pillow and threw it at the wall. He imagined he was throwing at his smug little sister’s smug face.

His sister wasn’t there. So the pillow hit the wall and fell impotently. The force of his throw jostled his injured ankle. He muffled a squeak before continuing his tirade.

“I only said,” he reiterated slowly, “if you really loved me, you would come and wait on me hand and foot. A good sister would do it.”

“Oh, it’s like that,” Essi said.

“Yes! It is! My ankle hurts and the house is empty, which you know I hate. And it’s after Christmas and before New Year, otherwise known as the taint of the holiday season—“

“Ew I hate it when you call it that-“

“—and this time of year always makes me emo.”

“I know it does.”

“So we should have a sleepover. Watch The Road to El Dorado like when we were kids, and make Rice Krispie treats. Make a pillow fort.”

“Ugh you’re really suffering from nostalgia sickness aren’t you?”

“Yes?! So help me!”

“I would Jas! But I promised my girlfriend I would go out of town with her. I can’t just abandon our plans. She already paid for the hotel. I’ll be back for New Years.”

Jaskier made a petulant noise at the back of his throat. Essi continued, determination in her voice.

“Like I said, Geralt could come over and baby you! He’s in his room let me check.”

“Don’t you dare!” Jaskier was shouting now.

“I’m kidding!” Essi’s evil cackle issued through the phone and Jaskier slumped back on the sofa in relief.

“Thank god.”

“I should though,” Essi said. “I know you like him. And I know you hate sleeping alone in an empty house. He could protect you.”

Jaskier couldn’t see Essi wiggling her eyebrows, but he could feel it. He huffed

“I do not need protecting. And men don’t admit those kinds of things to each other. So don’t embarrass me.”

“Fine,” said Essi. “But your eyeballs pop out of their sockets every time you see him.”

“Ew.”

“So even though I won’t invite him, I should.”

“Essi,” said Jaskier. He tried for his best stern voice. “That man does not want to watch a cartoon or make Rice Krispie treats with me.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Have you seen him?” asked Jaskier. “Simple carbs have not passed his lips since the Stone Age. Also, he’s a grown up.”

“You’re a grown up too,” insisted Essi.

“Only technically!” said Jaskier. “Fuck! I’m a struggling musician. He has a grown up job. And he doesn't ramble or run his mouth. He grunts and nods like a real man.”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” said Essi. “He might surprise you.”

“Promise me you won’t say anything to him,” pleaded Jaskier.

“Fine. I promise.”

Jaskier hung up and heaved a sigh in relief.

He dropped his phone into the couch and looked down at his buttercup pajamas, which he had put on in anticipation of Essi agreeing to the sleepover.

They seemed a little too festive for a night alone, but he couldn’t be assed to change out of them.

One hour later, he was still wearing them when the doorbell rang. Jaskier lifted his chin to peer through the small window on the door. He saw a gleam of white hair.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted to himself as he pulled himself from the sofa and grabbed his crutches. “Essi you didn’t. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck my life.”

He made up a speech on the spot. He rehearsed it in his head as he inched towards the door: Essi was full of shit. He was fine. He wasn’t afraid. He definitely didn’t watch cartoons made for children. Geralt could take his criminally perfect ass back home.

Essi was right of course. He had a massive crush on her gorgeous, laconic roommate. That’s what made all of this so bad.

If he let Geralt in, he would babble on and on in the universal sign for horny pansexual distress until the man figured it out. Jaskier could not have that.

Geralt was way out of Jaskier’s league. And there was almost no one out of Jaskier’s league. By his own estimation, that league had a population of one, and he was standing on the front porch.

Jaskier pulled open the door and Geralt looked up, meeting his eyes. Jaskier sucked in a conspicuous breath.

Great. Smooth, Jaskier. He thought.

“Hi,” rumbled Geralt.

His voice was so pleasant and gravely and his face so stupidly fucking handsome that it momentarily stunned Jaskier.

He also sounded endearingly uncertain, even though he had only said one solitary word. Jaskier couldn’t help breaking into a grin.

Geralt’s eyes softened and crinkled. It sent a warm thrum of satisfaction through Jaskier. Even the almost smiles from Geralt made him giddy. Even if the man turned and went back home right now, Jaskier’s evening had been made significantly better.

“Hi,” said Jaskier. He swallowed audibly.

Geralt looked down at his ankle. “You hurt yourself.”

“Ohhhhhh,” said Jaskier. He clenched his hands on his crutch handles. “Essi.”

“Essi hurt your ankle?”

“No, no,” said Jaskier. “I hurt my ankle during a daring rescue. I saved several schoolchildren from being hit by a bus.”

Geralt’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. There was an awkward pause and Jaskier added, “or, possibly, I slipped outside when it was raining.”

“Oh, ouch,” said Geralt sympathetically.

Jaskier smiled tightly and desperately wished he had changed out of his pajamas. Buttercups weren’t the image he would have chosen to project, especially with how effortlessly gorgeous Geralt looked.

The setting sun behind him lit up the man’s white hair like a halo. His shoulders were broad and round under an open blue plaid shirt. Under that was a white tee pulled tight over his prominent pecs. His snug jeans had a few worn holes in the knees. He had on a pair of black shitkicker boots. He looked both sexy and snuggly. Because of course he did.

“It’s not a big deal. It is barely a sprain. She’s just...worried. You know. Sisters.” Jaskier protested weakly.

“Yeah,” said Geralt. He scratched his head and reconsidered. “Well, no.”

“You don’t have sisters?

“I have brothers.” He shifted and ran his fingers nervously along the strap of a bag slung over his shoulder.

“Ah,” said Jaskier. He realized he was making it awkward. Geralt was probably waiting to be invited in. Jaskier drew in a breath and almost launched into his whole speech about not needing any help. Almost.

But the words didn’t come.

He wobbled to the side instead.

“Come on in,” he said, and he threw out his arm as though to present his home. It was dorky. He knew it was dorky.

Geralt nodded and dipped his head as he entered the house.

“You can put your bag there,” said Jaskier. He gestured to a cushion, and then hobbled over and lowered himself down onto the sofa.

“Here, let me get that,” said Geralt. He hustled to drop his bag and gently helped Jaskier put his leg up on the footrest. Geralt’s hands were sturdy and his movements sure.

“You don’t have to do that,” said Jaskier. “You don’t have to be here at all.”

Geralt was still bent over Jaskier’s ankle and he looked up sharply. “You...don’t want me to be here? I thought...”

“I do!” insisted Jaskier, panic spreading in his stomach. “I do. Don’t go. I mean, I just didn’t want to bother you. I’m sure you have better things to do with your Saturday. Like you know, going to the gym, which you clearly do...” he was babbling now, and his hands were making wide loops in the air in front of him...”or working at your professional job, or going on dates with the many men who are doubtlessly clambering—“

Geralt straightened up and tilted his head as Jaskier spoke. But Jaskier couldn’t stop.

“—just for a chance to touch—“

Mercifully Geralt cut him off gruffly. “Jaskier.”

Jaskier closed his mouth, abruptly putting a stop to his rambling. There was a moment of silence. Geralt was waiting for an answer.

“Yes?” Jaskier said.

Geralt continued, but gentler this time. “Do you want me here, or not?” His voice was lighter, but a question was a question.

Jaskier nervously twiddled his thumbs against his thighs.

“I do,” said Jaskier.

A smile ghosted over Geralt’s lips. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” he said.

“But it isn’t just about what I want,” said Jaskier. “And I hope my sister didn’t guilt you into it.”

Geralt planted his hands in his hips. “Do you always do this?”

“What?”

“Talk this much? To avoid saying anything?”

“Yes,” said Jaskier with a definitive nod.

“Ok, good,” said Geralt. “Then I won’t take it personally.”

Geralt sat down on the other side of the sofa. Jaskier had never actually been alone with Geralt. He was Essi’s roommate, so he had seen him plenty. He’d even technically been drinking with him. But it was always in a group.

The realization that only the length of a couch cushion separated them and that they had total privacy ran a thrill up Jaskier’s spine. He squirmed without thinking. Geralt didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m pretty good with injuries,” said Geralt. If you tell me where the freezer is I’ll get you some ice for it.”

True to his words, Geralt fetched Jaskier some ice. He also brought him a glass of water and some meds. Jaskier was overwhelmed with gratitude, but he didn’t quite know how to express it in a smooth way. He just kept bobbing his head and saying thank you and trying not to stare too openly every time Geralt walked away.

Geralt finally sat back down with a grunt and his knees fell open as he relaxed. Jaskier made a heroic effort to keep his eyes trained on his face.

When his gaze began to slide down Geralt’s neck, which looked smooth and kissable and probably smelled like something incredibly sexy, he yanked his attention away.

“Should we watch a movie?” Asked Geralt. He reached across the couch and picked up something Jaskier hadn’t realized was strewn on the cushion. It was The Road to El Dorado.

“Oh, not that,” stammered Jaskier. “That’s Essi’s. You know she must have left it here. She still watches cartoons. Silly, I know. Poor girl. Arrested development is what it is. She’s twenty! And in college!! I bet I have something better around here to watch, like, um, maybe some....”

Geralt looked at him with careful neutrality and didn’t say a word to help him. Jaskier tried to think of a manly movie and his mind went blank. It blinked right off.

“Ram...bo??” Jaskier finished doubtfully.

Geralt smothered a smile and looked at his own fingers as they tapped the side of the DVD cover.

“So,” he looked back up, catching Jaskier’s eye. “You tell me I don’t have to be here, then you insult my taste in movies?”

Jaskier’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Jaskier, I brought this movie. It slid out of my bag.”

He nodded at his bag, which sure enough, sat open right next to where the DVD had lain.

“Ohhhh,” said Jaskier. “Oh no. See, I just assumed Essi told you I wanted to watch it.” He worried his lower lip with his teeth.

“No,” said Geralt. “She didn’t.”

“Because I lied,” said Jaskier. “I do want to watch it. I just assumed you’d be more mature than me.”

“Oh god no,” said Geralt. He held up the movie. “I like the horse.”

Jaskier grinned. “I like the bit with the lute.”

“Then it’s decided,” said Geralt.

Jaskier nodded happily.

“But first, snacks,” said Geralt. “I saw some boxes of Rice Krispies on the counter. If you have marshmallows, I can make a mean batch of treats.”

“Seriously?”

“That’s what they’re there for I assume.”

“Yes. Yes please.”

Jaskier moved to pull himself up, but Geralt insisted that he stay and relax. He disappeared into the kitchen.

Jaskier let his head fall back on the sofa and he gazed at the ceiling listening to Geralt. Geralt was in his home, filling it with humming, the clatter of bowls, and the smell of melted marshmallows. It felt. Right.

Soon Geralt reappeared with a plate.

“They’re still hot,” he said. He put them on a TV tray to the side. “And they’re crooked. And lumpy looking. But they’ll taste good.”

“Thank you,” said Jaskier. He fluttered his eyes ever so slightly to see if he could get a reaction. Geralt’s eyes twinkled.

“Mind if I change to my pajamas?” He reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of white pjs with horses in them. “I’ll be better able to protect you if I’m comfortable.

Jaskier’s jaw dropped. “Wait. You’re staying?” he asked. “Wait, protect me? She DID tell you!” He yelped

Geralt unfurled the pajamas and looked at him quizzically.

“Who told me what?”

“Oh, no need to put on an act. I know she did.”

Geralt dropped his hands into his lap and blinked. A shit eating grin slowly spread on his face. “You don’t remember.”

“What?” Asked Jaskier. “I don’t remember what?”

Geralt looked up at the ceiling to dramatize being deep in thought. “Hmmm. Let’s see.” Then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, locking eyes again with Jaskier.

“You talked to me at your sister’s party last weekend.”

Jaskier pursed his lips. Something was coming back to him.

“And you told me that your roommate was going out of town for the holidays.”

“Uh huh, uh huh,” said Jaskier. This was beginning to sound familiar.

“Then you said,” The corners of his mouth twitched. “That you were going to be so scared in the house alone—“

Jaskier sucked his lips in and nodded along.

“And what you really needed was a strapping man to come stay the night and keep you safe.”

A cackle burst from Jaskier. Yes. He thought he’d dreamed it but...right. He’d just been sauced.

“And since you were straddling me and whispering in my ear at the moment, I assumed you meant me.”

Jaskier was giggling helplessly now and Geralt joined in, shoulders shaking.

“I did. I did mean you,” said Jaskier sucking in a breath between giggles and wiping his eyes. “Wow, I’m smooth.”

“Yes. Yes you are. And you told me—“

“Oh boy—“

“You told me that I’m probably a great astronomy professor because my ass is so circular I can calibrate my instruments to it.”

Jaskier giggling rolled into belly laughs and he flopped over helplessly, his sides aching. Geralt laughed and buried his face in his hands.

“Whew,” Geralt said. Then dropped his hands down between his thighs. “I was pretty sure I was gonna get lucky. But then you wandered off.”

“I’m so sorry,” said Jaskier, gasping from laughter. “I’m a complete nightmare.”

“You’re fucking adorable,” said Geralt, still grinning from ear to ear.

His words heated Jaskier’s cheeks with delight.

“Well” said Jaskier. He smoothed out the non existent wrinkles in his pajamas. “Thank you for coming to my aid.”

“You’re welcome,” said Geralt.

“I do like you,” said Jaskier. His eyes flickered down.

“I figured that one out,” said Geralt, his eyes sinking lower, shamelessly drinking up the sight of Jaskier.

“No,” said Jaskier. He looked back up and smiled a crooked vulnerable smile. “It’s not just the things I said then.”

“No?” asked Geralt.

“No. There’s more,” said Jaskier. He looked down at his fingers, which were now fiddling with the buttercups on his pajamas. “You’re thoughtful. And sweet.”

Geralt watched him, eyes growing softer and softer until Jaskier thought he would melt into a puddle.

“And you’re smart,” he continued. “And you have this dry sense of humor, where people can’t tell half the time whether you’re joking or not, which I find extremely entertaining.”

“Is that so,” rumbled Geralt. His eyes flicked down to Jaskier’s lips.

“It is,” said Jaskier.

Geralt slid closer. Jaskier’s heart beat so hard he was sure Geralt would be able to hear it.

Geralt slid his fingers up Jaskier’s thigh. Everywhere they touched grew warm.

Geralt reached with his other hand to cradle his jaw. Jaskier’s eyes fluttered closed at the warm, tender touch. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. He wanted to slow time down so that he could feel everything.

Geralt traced soft circles with his fingertips behind his ear. His bunched up muscles eased. Jaskier opened his eyes to see Geralt looking at him with such hunger that his hips rolled slightly towards him of their own accord.

“Careful,” murmured Geralt.

Jaskier tipped up his face and his lips parted eagerly in anticipation.

Geralt kissed him. He pressed his lips against him softly at first, teasing and mischievous. Jaskier sunk into the kiss, scrambling at Geralt’s neck, drawing a deep chuckle from him. Jaskier inhaled his warmth and grazed his tongue against Geralt’s lips. He whined and licked, parting Geralt’s lips. A growl rolled from Geralt to meet him.

“So you’ll stay,” said Jaskier between panting breaths.

Geralt squeezed his hips and kissed him deeper still.

“I’ll stay,” he replied. “I brought my pajamas. Too late to back out now.”

“Good,” said Jaskier. “Because I have no intention of wandering off this time.”

Essi, December 31st

Essi had an extra key so she let herself in and dropped her bags by the door. She’d had an amazing time but had not forgotten about her melancholy big brother.

She had come to his place straight from the bus station.

“I’m here!! Happy New Year!” She shouted.

There was nothing but silence. She focused and realized there were muffled sounds coming from the study.

She walked down the hall and the noises grew louder. When she threw open the do, she saw something shocking.

Jaskier and Geralt stood on the loveseat, straddling a broom.

They wore sweatpants and socks. Jaskier had on a red shirt and Geralt a blue one. They both had their arms thrown wide.

“What the hell?” Essi exclaimed.

Jaskier jumped down and bound over to wrap his arms around her. “You’re back!”

Geralt’s sheepishly stepped down and leaned the broom against the wall. He casually reached for a phone on a tripod and poked the screen a few times.

“I’ve been texting you! I thought you broke the other ankle!”

Jaskier kissed her cheek. “Nope!”

“Wait! You’re walking on it!”

“It was just a strain! Aren't you glad I’m better?!”

“You mean this whole time I thought my poor brother was home lonely with a hurt ankle you’re here with my roommate doing—-what exactly?”

Geralt sidled up to Essi and draped his arm around her. “Welcome back Essi.” He kissed the top of her head.

“We’re recreating our favorite scenes with Miguel and Tulio! Now that I have a hot boyfriend, he has to help my tiktok go viral.”

Essi sputtered. “Boy—“

“You were right!” Said Jaskier. “Don’t you just love being right?”

Essi looked up from Geralt to Jaskier and back again.

“I really do.”

“So that’s my new year gift to you!”

Geralt and Jaskier squeezed Essi between them in a hug.

Geralt, 11:59am

The kitchen was filled with Essi, Priscilla, and several of her friends from school. Most of them had witnessed Jaskier throw himself at Geralt at the last party, so there were hoots and hollers and backslaps. Jaskier bowed theatrically, soaking up the kudos.

Just before midnight, they all gathered in the kitchen and filled their glasses with bubbly.

As the group chanted the countdown, Geralt’s arms were snug around Jaskier’s waist, thumbs idly caressing the bare skin beneath his shirt. The heavy comforting feeling of Jaskier’s tousled head leaning back on his shoulder was something Geralt hadn’t even known he’d needed until he’d gotten it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone shouted.

Geralt squeezed Jaskier’s hips and turned him around to face him, chest swelling at the sight of blue, gazing at him from behind half lidded flirtatious eyes. He pulled Jaskier in for a deep, hopeful kiss. Then he raised a glass and leaned over to murmur in his ear.

“A toast to sleepovers,” he said.

“To many more,” answered Jaskier.

[ficsnroses]

Friends With Benefits Chapter 8 - Keanu Reeves x Reader

Chapter VIII ~ The Death of Us.

Part 1  Part 2 Part 3 Part 4  Part 5  Part 6 Part 7

Word Count : 3.7K

Warnings : so much angst omg. nsfw, smut. crying? 

Series Summary :  What happens when two, lonely friends start seeing each other for sex? A tricky friends with benefits love story, when feelings get in the way.

A/N : Oh gosh. Welcome back, three more chapters after this! let’s get this show wrapped up by June. Feedback is so so greatly appreciated, please do leave comments if ya get a sec :)

Chapter 7 Recap : Keanu and Y/N sort out their argument, and Y/N apologizes for her behaviour. They spend an evening together, and Keanu decides he’ll put his feelings aside to keep Y/N happy; keep their relationship as solely fwb and nothing else. However, after ending up in bed together again, Y/N leaves Keanu’s home in tears late into the evening, unable to bear the reality, that their relationship will perhaps never be more than just sexual. 

.

Being lost; when the mind and heart won’t work in harmony.

You’ll find peace,

            Through harmony, they whisper.

The untouched hills and thick ash clouds promise solitude, they become tempting as the streetlights pass, light fading away before shot back up in the next lamppost’s amber glow. Beyond the hills, they cease. The surrounding land falls remote, only whispers of gusty dry wind and occasional howl of the nightly residents breaking amity. A blanket of silence falls the car, the feel of the cold steering wheel riveted in your clammy fingers,

the only tolerable sensation.

Skin frigid, yet your insides burn. A never ending burn- the sensation almost brings you comfort, something strangely familiar as of late; your facial muscles barely twitch, lacklustre formed to the thought of what you’d just run away from. What you’d left behind. Tension, apprehension exaggerated in the lines of his forehead. A faint grimace lingers the planes of your face, heart in agony to the thought of those haunting dusky orbs, drained and spent as he watched you leave.

He has a heart of gold, and you know you’re killing him. He cares for the ones who mean something to him far too much. You’re hurting him. You know it. It felt as if you’d constantly been pushing him, pulling him, never quite finding the balance you craved.

After all, only your weak, mortal shell remains, the breeze filtering in from the slightly cracked passenger window a residual grace to your skin.

Your dreary mind never leaves the passing streetlights. They seem almost as pulses of light, rhythms of transition on your tedious drive home. The light comes back around just when you start to need it most; the piercing glow ignites your way,

fleetingly although. 

Even the streetlights end down the road- for down the road, never-ending darkness is all that’s left to perverse.

Keanu. Maybe you and Keanu, would be out of streetlights soon.

How long could this go on anyway? When you started out, the rules were clear. Love hadn’t been factored into the equation, yet here you were. You are in love with the only man you weren’t supposed to be with. And you can run from it; from yourself. But you can't be with him around. Not when your relationship is founded on exactly what lovers do- yet a fallacy, for you.

You’d been looming in silence, for what felt like an absurd eternity. Lost in thought, as if silently quarrelling to yourself that you need to let him go. He doesn’t deserve this; you don’t deserve this. 

The sudden sputter of the car engine creaking rumbles, the reverberations of turbulence so dense as the turmoil increases, the worn out tires faltering slow. Gravity sinks its nails in, immediately dragging them down,

slow,

slow,

            before they stop.

Don’t they say, the one you long for never leaves your mind? Your thoughts are free to roam anywhere, chase any reverie, yet it's surprising how often they head in his direction. His words seem to spring as a song well rehearsed, a melody tuned a thousand times. “You need to get rid of this thing, Y/N.” - the ring of his slight chuckle cursing through your remembrance. “It’s going to break down on you someday.” He’d reason, tone thick on concern.

Ingrained on your mind, a thick groan coarses your lips, wheel clenched in your hand. Slammed on the wheel, your palm stings with pierce, frustration copious in each action, each movement.

Of course, this would happen to you. Stranded, at 11:00pm on an empty LA street, your home still miles away awaits. The towers and mechanics would have bid goodnight a while past, and you didn’t quite know enough people in town to call. Apart from,

the same man you’d just practically run from.

Your jaw clenches and your features fall stoic, left no other choice than to see if Keanu could come by. What would he think? Perhaps pity. Perhaps, disappointment. Feasibly, the infamous “I told you so”. Truth be told, he may have been the last person you wanted to see right now. The last person you wanted to ask for help. Perhaps it was your own personal defence mechanism; your chant to the world, to him, that you’re fine. You don’t need someone, even if that someone was him.

A chilled gust of wind propels through the car window, uncertainty broad on your mind. With your fingers gripping the cold frame of your cellphone, you anticipate his voice on the other end, as if in a race with your own mind. Had you even known what to say? What does one say when they’ve practically left you, without reason, knowing it hurt you? Yet again, the universe proves. Your vanity ends in failure.

You’d sworn a breath had caught in your lungs when you heard his voice on the other end, deep and worn, a drowse apparent. He’d probably tried to get some shut eye after the happening of the eve, and yet again, as always, you’d intruded. 

“Y/N?” His voice holds confusion. You swallow a lump, unsure of how to start. “Hey,” Adopting a milder, soft tone than when you’d left. “I didn’t know who else to call.”

“Are you okay? Something wrong?” He inquires, a ruffle of movement on the other end. Defeated, your cold hand runs through the weary strands of locks on your head, the smell of burnt gasoline impelling the tip of your senses, dense and robust.

                 Isn’t it funny, how the smell of gasoline is so pleasurable, even though you know it’s bad?

Guilt. Finding pleasure in the wrong place. It’s not good for you. Why must some of the best things not be good for you?

“I’m on 231st. My car gave out on me.”

There’s a slight silence that falls to the line; unsympathetic, hollow, ambiguous. Would he care? What if he’d been upset over how you’d left tonight? What if he’d finally had enough of these abrupt changes of pace? Keanu and you seemed to never get it right, never finding the balance you so desperately wanted.

In a moment, he begins, more ease to your hurtling mind now. “Don’t go anywhere.” He replies. “Stay in your car, lock the doors and keep your phone close by.” The door slams shut on his end, heavy footsteps pacing to the car. “Be safe, okay? I’m on my way.”

Relief washes over, seeing his tall frame and concerned expression trekking towards your car door. He’d been the last person you wanted to call; yet also the first, the only person you wanted to see. There’s always been something so familiar about him, something so comforting, something you can seem to escape.

The evening air is powered with something indefinite, twilight fallen with the first buzz of mosquitos in the distance. The air stood damp and cool, his features a little softer in the darkness that surrounds.

He opens the car door, allowing you to step out, your gaze unknowingly fixed to the pavement below. Relief shone clear and bright on his face, his urge to pull you to his chest; give you the security you deserved right now strong. Yet, he opts for a mellow hand placed to your shoulder, cautious from the events of the evening prior. “You’re okay?” He asks, giving a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah.” You nod. “Thanks for coming, really.” Assuring, your hand waves slight, a gesture of peace. “I know it’s really late and-” swift, his hand raises, waving off your words, considerate. With a nod of his head, he gestures you towards his car, heavy palm reverting to the small of your back now as he guides you, his need to make sure you’re really safe and okay fresh on his mind.

“My place is a lot closer, I’ll take you with me.” He casually throws out, prepared for the argument he knew you’d put up.

“No, it’s alright, really. You know I’m only 15 minutes from here.” You maintain, turning your gaze his way. With a sigh, he starts again, eyes hefty with please.

“Y/N, please.” His eyes clench shut, features tight and dense, breathing in a deep inhale. “I didn’t want you to leave tonight, but you did. And now this…” The street around you was quiet, dim light and distant cars humming made the atmosphere almost far from comfortable. “Please.” He reiterates. Glancing up towards the moonless black, you bite back another weary sigh. Perhaps…

“Okay.” Sucking in a dull breath, you gesture to his car, him following suit as with your enfeeble bones take place in the passenger seat. With his hand firm on the drive, he pulls onto the dark LA road, his house en route, lines on his forehead exaggerated with concern for the woman he loves so dearly, but can’t have.

You’d been acting strange lately, far too distant for his liking. It seemed as if no matter how hard you both tried, you couldn’t find the balance. Couldn’t find whatever it was you needed to save your sinking ship. And it was eating away at him, killing him to know that undeniably, undoubtedly,

you were slipping away.

            even if he never really had you.

It had been a tough night, a tough day for both of you. Yet, his mind only wondered what you were feeling. Were you alright? Did you hate him for making you come back? He needed to be let in so desperately, needed to know what was written out to be far too soon. It had been tough for both of you today, yet he only cared about you. You before him, always. With his eyes briefly diverting to you, staring out the car window with an intent gaze, he shifts his hand slowly, gently to rest over yours on your lap.

To say it hurt him when you flinched, so slightly, barely noticeable, would be an understatement.

It shot daggers in him.

Yet, he offers a gentle squeeze when you keep it in place ultimately. “What are you thinking about?” He offers, voice smooth, expression mildly curious as he turns to look at you, filling the silence.

You stay quiet for a moment, gaze never leaving the mountains outside, passing by. That feeling had come back. The feeling of assurance, the feeling of being safe with him. You almost wished your brain would forget how sheltered he made you feel.

It would make all this a lot easier.

“It was raining not long ago.” You speak, voice soft, low. His lips stiff straight in a thin line, minor hum of nod through his breath. Your tone stays quiet, the thought of him heavier on your mind than the sharp LA mountains outside could ever be. “But it stopped.”

“It always stops” He speaks. “Sooner or later.”

His voice had that gentle hum to it, the serene sedative comfort. And then to the thought of it, you stared out the window, and stared, and stared, and stared.

He placed his hands on your soul,

before reaching for your hips; or your lips. And that was what ruined you.

How did you ever let it get this way? How did you ever let it get

   this

   way.

Late into the eve, you’d found yourself back exactly where gravity seemed to pull you, each time. There, with him, under him while he made love to you; only the love was what was missing, and with Keanu, it seemed it would always be. He isn’t in this relationship, he never was, never will be. It’s just you, alone, hoping, pleading that he’ll see through you; understand what this is not how you want him.

With the only light in the room filtering in from the moon side glow & the LA city night lights, you feel him on top, weight of his body on yours, his arms on either side of you holding the bed as he thrusts. His features are barely defined, yet you make out a thin line of sweat on his forehead; mouth slightly agape, breaths rugged and low. His chest heaves, cock pulsing inside your clenched cunt, the bed frame rocks, hitting the wall with each jerk. He wasn’t touching you in any other way than his member pumping your warm, wet folds, hastily, a controlled pace steady with his rocking hips. His balls slam, hitting your core each time, loud in the quiet room as you whimper quietly, fingernails sunk into the blades of his shoulders,

and with each slam, you feel yourself further and further realizing,

         This isn’t working anymore.

This is all you know with him, so this is what you do. And you know you had no right to be upset over it. This is what you signed up for. You did this. You let it get this way.

These aren’t the sounds you want to hear anymore. This isn’t the way you want to feel him anymore. These sounds, these sinful sounds compare none to what you want, what you need. 

You wanted it all, 

the soft whispers, quiet laughs shared late into the night. The sound of his pure voice when you haven’t heard it for a while, the gentle hum of his throat when he’d tell you he loves you. The simple, mundane life together. A life where he’s a significant part, but in more ways than just this.

Your bodies shudder with pleasure, but you know it’s only a temporary illusion. You see him, and you want to feel him so close, but not this way. This isn’t what you ever wanted, it was never what you really wanted. That night when you first had sex a year ago should have never happen. And it should have never happened again, and again, and again.

You did this to your friendship. And now it’s too far gone for fixing; too far lost to mend.

This isn’t working anymore.

This isn’t working anymore.

The morning comes, as it always does. Your bones feel as if they ache, tired eyes needing a moment to adjust to the light around, remembering where you were. In Keanu’s bed, yet the spot beside you lays empty, vacant. Finding yourself bare from the waist under, you remember the sex session the night prior, and you’d opted to leave your bottoms on the bedroom floor as he drifted to sleep, beside you.

Was there even anything to hide from him anymore? Nothing he hadn’t seen a hundred times. 

With a lift of the heavy duvet, you barely climb out of the mattress, shimmying on the full of your clothes, before heading downstairs. You should be outta here soon, anyway.

The house air smells of dark coffee, the scent of a morning cigarette barely filtering in from the patio backdoors. You’d always hoped he’d quit the nasty habit, take better care of his health where he could.

Cold tiles trace under your feet, a small yawn elicited when you feel your weary bones ache, wanting nothing more than to go home, away from him for now. Seeing him, being around him was proving to be far too hard. There was no running from it now. It was clear as could be, laid out on the table.

You are in love with him. You know it, and you know it shouldn’t be.

But it is. It so fiercely, truly, is.

You find him stood by the window, gazing beyond the backyard foliage, phone propped to his ear as he speaks low, quiet. Making yourself known with a slight cough, your eyes meet as his frame turns, lips curled to a smile your way. His cocoa orbs look dewy in the morning light, cheeks rosy with a slight excitement, something so warm, so inviting.

You’d wish to hold him in your arms, just that way. Keep him that way forever.

Sitting at the kitchen stool, you wait for him to finish on the line, before you’d let him know of your soon departure.  Within a few moments, Keanu retires the phone call, moving your way. 

“Morning.” He greets, pouring you a roasty cup of a.m. coffee from the burner.

“I’m okay.” You return, shifting in your seat to sit straighter now. “I’m just about heading out actually, an Uber’s on the way.”

Brows furrowed, he speaks. “You just woke up. Stay, I’ll make us breakfast.” With a sip of his earthy dark, he sets his phone down on the granite counter, a lingering smile catching your eye. “I wanted to talk to you about something, actually.”

Your hands find place in your lap, listening to his words. “Oh...okay. Sure. What’s up?” You inquire, unsure, yet slightly hopeful it may be something you so desperately wanted to hear, something you’d frantically hoped he’d let fall off his lips; that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same.

That maybe, you could find the balance, together.

His hand runs through his overgrown, dusty mocha locks, a small chuckle let off. “Okay, I just got off the phone with an acquaintance who deals autos.” Your expression reverts to plain, a pierce of defeat courses through your nerves. “And there’s this brand new model of a great car. You just need to sign the paperwork and it’s yours. I’ll take care of it.” He tells, 

and you swore you’d heard a slight hint of sympathy to his tone. Cold, pitiful, 

sympathy. Is that what you were now?

“It would cost more to fix the one you have now than it's even worth.” He explains, watching your expression fall. “And I don’t want you having to worry about it, you deserve a break. Really.” He reasons, trying his best to make out the look on your fallen face.

With your eyes set on the counter below, your thoughts scramble, desperate to gather, choke out a response. But nothing comes out. Nothing at all for the first few moments.

“Y/N?” He asks, head tilting in an attempt to meet your lowered gaze. To be met with assertion; affirmation, is not what he’d thought would come, when the wavelengths of your sunken voice allow into the now colder room air.

Headstrong, yet collected, you regret the words he’d said. “Who do you think you are?” You say, voice low, yet assertive. Your hands unknowingly ball into a fist, emotions running high through your veins. “What is this, charity?” Standing now, you push the counter stool away, finally bringing your irate eyes up to his. “I don’t need your charity.”

“Y/N,” He starts, a hushed breath slipping past his lips as he stares wide eyed. You looked destroyed almost, raw, a sight he felt break at him.

“No.” You stop him, hand moving up to block his trek further. “Don’t.” Whispering, your voice breaks, the feel of complete, and utter, defeat gnawing your bones. There was a dull ache of exhaustion nearing your temple, your forehead pulsing, but you’d gotten very good at disregarding it by now.

His features tense, regret seeped. “Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that.” He reasons, attempts at moving your way shunned as you back away now, toward the door. You force your fingers to relax their deadly clench in your balled fist, eyes shut tight as you desperately pray this wasn’t happening.

It was finally happening. 

It was inevitable.

“Y/N,” He pleads, fearful that this time,

the rain would abide for good, transpiring a full fledged storm. And it wouldn’t end.

Not now, not ever. It’s all too much, & the friendship, the companionship feels far gone. It’s turned to sympathy.

You turn his way abruptly, locking eyes, voice dipping into something colder as you begin, tears forming in the corner drops of your eyes. “Did you even bother thinking about how this makes me feel? Or did it not matter because you’re ‘Keanu The Great’, fixing the entire world’s problems? And I’m just another hopeless case in the bunch?” You say louder than intended, lip quivering with a shame that felt wounded, the pain of him becoming more unbearable by the second. He watches you, and it's killing him to see you this hurt.

It’s killing him that he did this. Again. He fucked up, again. He feels the sting of tobacco on his tongue from a burned smoke earlier, but doesn’t look away from your eyes; despite the firm voice inside telling him that he should.  He watches you, unable to move. Unable to leave.

Unable to do anything at all to make it alright.

“You’re not…a charity case for me, Y/N. How could you ever think-” He barely manages, voice faltering thick in his deep throat, wanting so desperately to reach out and hold you in the comfort of his arms, explain that everything can be okay again.

Yet his words only seem to add fuel to the fire inside you, voice channeling through the house walls as you dispute. “Not a charity case?’ You fathom, jaw tightened as you try your best to uphold assertion, dominance. “We sleep together, for fuck sake!” You almost cry, feeling each and every wall around you,

Crumble. Crumble to shreds.

“Did you not once think how much this would hurt me? How degrading this feels?” you’d tried hard, yet they’d escaped. The tears escaped; and the end was near.

His legs move again, inching near your feeble frame. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, please, hear me out.” He pleads, reaching for the soft skin of your arm, as you retract away, wiping your bleary eyes. “Okay, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.” He begs, backing away for your comfort, his own heart breaking piece by piece for his love in front of him, hurting, and it’s all

his

fault. 

“Please don’t cry, Y/N. Im sorry, really.” His weary hand runs through his hair, scared, in fear that he’d hurt your relationship forever, and any attempts at being more. “We’ll talk later, sweetheart. Okay?” He tries, hoping the nickname would bring calm to your rage. Noting Keanu’s expression, your watery eyes stay focused on his, sincerely connected, and you allow your features to soften, adopting a milder, more reasoned tone. With your voice cracking, you speak ultimately into the morning air, the words set solid, 

forever.

“No we won’t.” You begin, swallowing the lump in your throat. “This isn’t working anymore.” You croak, the tears burning so bad now, filling your eyes. “We’re over.”

And the words pierce through Keanu, as if the bullet of a thousand guns force. His heart drops, left nothing but a gaping hole of dark to fill the void, and the words black out his overthrown mind, pulsing with an ache.

           We’re over,

     Before we even started.

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

>>Part 9>>

In order for my fics to show up in tags, my taglists will be posted in reblogs from now on. Let me know if you want to be added or removed from either this series, or the permanent! :)

[loniereads]

cr: Sufficiently Advanced Magic

*spoiler warning*

Chapter 1 - 5

Chapter one

“I was prepared in a thousand different ways that didn’t matter” - Me for every test I’ve ever taken ☺️✨✨

Omg is he gonna go look for his brother 🥺 This book said found family but make it literal - side note, love the name Tristan.

I hope it’s explained as to WHY hundreds of 17 year olds are enduring a judgment to their possible death????

Imagine you’re brother going basically missing, your mom leaving, and then your dad pulling you out of school so you can prepare to possibly ✨die✨

“It could take years to grow strong enough-” 🥺 He’s going to sacrifice years of his life and risk certain death just for a chance to reunite his family is this book gonna make me cry?

I don’t like his name as much as I like his brothers but yanno whatever- how do you even say Corin

I already hate the dad??? Hello? Your first son is gone and your second could follow in his fate and you don’t even see him off?? Fuck you buddy why are book dads such assholes

“I loathed hurting people. I always had.” so i have decided that if anything happens to Corin I will kill everyone in the room and then myself. WHAT A CUTIE SWEET SOUL

If this book forces him to hurt someone I’ll riot-

Oh my gosh he hates fighting but he’s willing to fight for his brother I LOVE HEALTHY BROTHER RELATIONSHIPS they’re so pure

Corin is so nice to try to explain all of this weapon stuff and rune stuff to me like I have any idea wtf he’s talking about- he’s talking and I’m like I’m just happy to be here ☺️

I feel like the fact that he’s paying for everything he takes is important- like maybe other people just take and don’t leave anything? But he’s like here’s a coin for you scary tower~

“It was too cute to die” why do I love Corin so

What a cute ass sweet ass cinnamon roll, my god🥺

HE FELT GUILTY FOR KILLING A SHADOW SNDKDNSK I love him sm what a king

Chapter two

Why does everything he say sound so intelligent

ldmoaha not Corin having a convo with a book

It’s been too long since I read a normal romance book why did my brain just decide to ship Corin and a BOOK

Ok but him taking time to ask about his brother has me so soft

What the flip chapter 2 was so short??? ):

Chapter three

“You shouldn’t have done that” how ominous and amazing and I love it

He so casually was like OH LOOK A DEAD BODY OH LOOKIE PEOPLE

Omg is he gonna find his brother in here- OH MY

OMG HE DID AHHHHH

just... kidding. He did infact not find him.

Oh wait someone younger than him though- so is going into the tower a choice? That would make it a little better. Like you decide when you go in or? I NEED MORE INFO PLS

The word resh is growing on me

He risked his gold key on her 🥺

I love this little merry band of criminals- also just hoping the kid doesn’t yanno....die

omg Keras is out here crushing stones with his bare hands 😏 hellooooo

Wait I’m so conflicted??? I want to trust Keras and Vera but I also want to trust the book alsnsish

Vera is a whole mood I really hope she’s not like evil or just a weird thing in the tower or idk whatever I want her to stay

AWWAIT ☹️☹️☹️ They left Keras behind- that can’t be it. He’s gotta come back right? Like book person is gonna save him? Right!!??

Chapter four

VERA SUCH A BADDDDIE

This ‘kid’ they’re carrying is just making out like a bandit, he’s just getting carried through the tower 😂

WOW FUCK YOU VERA??? UH I HOPE SOMETHING KILLS HER-but not rhe kid 😔

Okay this might be a weird jump- but WHAT IF THE BOOK ENTITY ISSSSS HIS BROTHER??????????? Like the book person seems to really care if Corin lives? so it’s either just like a really caring person, OR HIS BROTHER

Pls let me be right

That would be so cool

The book entity helped him to finish the rest completely? Is this allowed? This feels not allowed

Corin: fighting monsters with criminals in a magical tower, very time sensitive needs to escape quickly

Also Corin: lemme just wrote a little diary entry ✨☺️

So obviously he’s going to get to keep his memories

Also like he got out of the tower so easily? What?

“And don’t let anyone hassle you about your attunement.” HOW VERY OMONIOUS OF YOU TO SAY

Honestly- Fuck Magnus Cadence

REPLACEMENT? What?

His childhood bestfriend is his half sister? I love that???? Instead of making them love interests they’re half siblings that’s cool as hell. We love childhood friends to siblings trope

I will reiterate, FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE

I hope we get to see their friendship bc I’m here for this trope

Chapter five

🥺 he sent the boys glove to his parents I’m so soft

Their relationship makes me so happy?? Like I love this. So they better reunite or I’ll riot

BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE BESTTT

I miss Keras 🥺

I am so unsure of Sera. I do love the sudden sibling, and I really really hope they end up having a cool relationship and like she helps him find his(their) brother and hdjsjdjs

If anyone gives Corin a hard time for his attunement I’ll throw hands-

Not them earning points at their schools- All I can think about how is “10 points to gryffindor”

I love the word behooves

Can they go back into the tower already 💀 This down time is killing me. I want book entity, Keras and that boy who was unconscious the entire time back.

-side note, I absolutely love how all three of them(Keras, Corin, and Vera) were all so concerned with this unconscious boy and they literally carried him to complete safety. Who is this boy?? Will he come back? I miss him he better not be be dead. Vera can die but not unconscious boy.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera... but she’s giving me “I’m better than you because I have a better attunement” vibes and I do not like that at all so if Icneed to I will pretend to doesn’t exist.

Aw the schools has like animal representatives decisions?? CUTE UM. - there’s way too many for my brain to keep up with but I love them anyway

Not them assigning kids to basically play pranks on everyone else and tell them if they don’t find the prankster kids they lose points- what a weird ass school

“You and Patrick were practically brothers” GIRL YOU CANT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS AN ACTUAL BROTHER WHO IS MISSING AND/OR DEAD

-Also I know Tristen isn’t dead because like then what would be the point huh? HUH? So he’s got to be alive

Or I’ll riot.

“A walking rainstorm” idk why but that is so fucking adorable. I love my new comfort raintorm, Corin.

I can’t wait for them(Corin and Sera) to meet up with their friends and they have to explain that they’re now half siblings.

Them reminding him to not lose his little sigil pin makes me feel like he’s going to lose or forget it ummmm

Imagine getting fucking EXPELLED because you forgot your pin on your other uniform.

I feel like that would be me honestly. Are people not just...forgetful in this universe??

Ngl i would hate to be in the tortoise division

Corins attunement is lamer but his division is called the Phoenix? Like that’s so much cooler than tortoise

The fact that sera is trying to convince me the Spider division isn’t real makes me feel like she’s in it???

I know my babey Corin didn’t mean this as snarky as I would have liked him to but I love this line so much.

SARCASTIC BOYS WITH DADDY ISSUES OWN ME AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT

Ngl I was hoping they would have roommates- I love a good school roommate dynamic

For the third time I would like to make my opinion to be known; FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE

Why has no one made a playlist for this book on Spotify? I am throughly disappointed

Not Corin being ghosted by his book-

I wish I had half the motivation Corin has? Like it’s my boys first day of school and as soon as he gets into his room he starts studying. I would have taken a nap

Oop jk as soon as he couldn’t find the rune he was looking for he went to lay in bed.

I’m sorry what in the hell is Wyddsday??? Did I miss them explaining to hat this universe has different names for it’s days of the week?? How am I supposed to know when this is Corin? Or what day it even is currently

World building is so intricate and interesting and I absolutely live for it- but it’s literally so frustrating sometimes learning and remembering everything

Okay Sera being less irritated about her studies being interrupted because it’s Corin is cute

Fuck

I still don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera

Tashday, Fersday, Kyrsday, Tensday, Vasday, and Wyddsday- either I can’t count or they’re missing a day. And what order do they go in? I need a calendar insert pls and thanks

Wait wait did he just run into an ex? What is this sndlsnsin “long-buried emotions”??

Oooo we get a name. Cecily Lambert

I didn’t possibly think I could relate to Corin anymore than I already do but here I am

The dorm chiefs introduce themselves to everyone? How cute and Curtis didn’t seem at all annoyed by Corin asking so many questions I love when upperclassman in books aren’t rude for no reason. It’s such a tiring trait they often have smh

I need his exams to hurry up because I would very much like to get back to the fast paced tower scenes-

I know absolutely nothing about Jin but I love him immensely

[mikauzoran]

Platonic Adrino/DJ Wifi: Drunk Ladybug on My Balcony? Yeah. This is Fine.: Chapter Eight

Read it on AO3: Drunk Ladybug on My Balcony? Yeah. This is Fine.: Chapter Eight: Bros First

Alya and Nino were curled up on her bed watching Lupin on her laptop when a slightly impatient knock came at the sliding glass door out to her balcony.

Nino frowned in utter bafflement. “What the hell? How is there someone knocking on your fourth story balcony door?”

Alya stiffened as a wave of dread rolled over her. She glanced at her phone to find she had zero unread texts from Marinette announcing a visit.

That didn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t Ladybug out on her balcony, but Alya took that as a good sign because it would certainly be a lot less awkward and suspicious if it were her boyfriend’s superhero crush out there instead of her own.

“Al?” Nino prompted questioningly.

Alya mentally crossed her fingers as she sat up and set the laptop aside, going over to pull back the curtain, hoping against all hope that it was their resident cat-boy and that Nino would be so distracted that he wouldn’t ask difficult questions.

Chat Noir had his hand raised, just about to knock again, when Alya opened the curtain and unlocked the door.

Instant relief washed across his face. “Oh my gosh, Alya! You will never believe what just happened to me! I have to talk to you.”

And then Nino came up behind Alya and gaped at the hero, making Chat Noir freeze.

“Is Chat Noir on your balcony, or am I hallucinating?” Nino wondered in a state of borderline shock.

“I am so sorry,” Chat spit out, heat rising on his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I…I can explain!”

Nino turned to Alya. “He visits you too?”

Now it was Alya’s turn for confusion. “Wait. He visits you?” she returned incredulously as she looked back and forth between her boyfriend and the superhero.

Nino shrugged. “Yeah. He started coming over, like…when we were fourteen, fifteen. We play video games and watch movies and stuff. Sometimes I run my mixes by him and get his opinion. How long has he been visiting you?”

Alya pursed her lips, turning to frown reproachfully at Chat Noir. “You’ve been visiting him for years?”

“I can explain?” Chat didn’t sound so sure as his shoulders rose up to meet his ears. “Or maybe I should come back some other time. I’m clearly crashing your date.”

Alya rolled her eyes and grabbed Chat Noir by the arm, hauling him into the room. “Get in here.”

She quickly relocked the door behind him and drew the curtain before turning back to Nino and pointing accusatorially at Chat Noir. “Do you know who he is?”

Nino’s brow gradually furrowed as he felt even more lost. “Um…yeah. He’s Chat Noir. You run a blog about him?”

Alya groaned, dropping her head as she shook it. “No. No. Like, do you know his secret identity?”

“No,” Nino snorted as if she’d made some ludicrous suggestion. But then he paused, and the amusement left him. “Holy crap. Wait. Do you?”

Alya turned her mystified expression on Chat Noir. “How does he not know who you are if you two have been hanging out for years? Is my boyfriend dumb?”

“Hey,” Nino whined.

Chat put his hands up in surrender. “No. He just never asked, and I didn’t tell him.” He looked back to Nino. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t tell Alya either. I’ve never told anyone. She just figured me out.”

“Okay?” Nino replied, feeling like he should say something but not really sure why he should care. “I mean…that’s fine, Mec. I get the secret identities thing. You’re not supposed to tell me, so it’s not really a bad thing that I don’t know. I don’t have to know what name appears on your birth certificate to be your friend, so…it doesn’t really matter.”

Chat Noir winced, and his expression turned guilty as he looked at Nino with eyes pleading for forgiveness. “It kind of does matter, and I’m sorry I never said anything…. Detransformation.”

Nino’s eyes widened as the suit faded in a burst of neon green light, leaving Adrien Agreste standing before him in the Ladybug pyjamas Marinette had made him for his birthday two years prior.

“I am so sorry,” Adrien whimpered, bracing for the fallout.

Nino let out a guttural curse and then repeated it three times in quick succession.

Adrien winced, repeating, “I’m sorry. If I could have told you I would have, but Ladybug is super strict about the secret identities rule.”

“No, it’s cool,” Nino assured lightheadedly, still staring at Adrien like he had just revealed that he had been leading a double life for more than half a decade now. “Seriously. I totally get it. I’m just… Holy crap, you’re Chat Noir,” Nino began to snicker maniacally, sounding like he was hyperventilating.

“Yeah,” Adrien replied lamely, grimacing. “I’m Chat Noir…. Are you okay?”

“I need to sit down,” Nino announced, promptly sinking to the floor and flopping over onto his back.

“Babe, are you okay?” Alya spoke up tentatively, starting to get concerned in earnest.

“Yep,” he continued to laugh. “All good. My best bro is just a superhero. That’s all. Normal day.”

“I am so sorry,” Adrien reiterated, not sure what else to say or do.

Alya’s reaction had seemed so blasé. He hadn’t been prepared for Nino to freak.

“No.” Nino held up a hand to stop him. “Seriously. It’s good. You’re good. I’m just…processing. Poorly. I mean… I’m sorry, Mate. I feel like I should have known or something.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t,” Alya hummed. “He told you about his mystery girl crush, didn’t he? How did you think he knew her?”

Nino threw up his hands in exasperation without moving up off the floor. “I don’t know! I thought she dropped by his house or something! I’ve had a standing friend date night with Chat Noir the past five years! It wasn’t too farfetched to think she visited Adrien like that too. I mean, I would totally sneak in to see him and break him out to go have some fun if I had a Miraculous permanently. That would be my number one abuse of power.”

“That’s really sweet,” Adrien cooed, touched that the thought had even crossed Nino’s mind.

“Romantic rooftop escapades with your girlfriend wouldn’t be top on your list?” Alya snickered, amused.

“Bros before you-know-whats,” Nino announced vehemently, causing Alya to laugh harder.

She turned to smirk at Adrien, elbowing his arm. “Well, good to know where his priorities stand. I always suspected he loved you more.”

Adrien rolled his eyes, returning the playful nudge. “He loves us the same but differently.”

Nino groaned, hissing a sibilant curse as a realization struck him.

“What?” Alya inquired, arching an eyebrow as her boyfriend covered his face with his hands and rolled around on the floor in mortification.

“You okay, Mec?” Adrien inquired hesitantly, leaning in a bit to peer down at his best friend curiously.

“No!” Nino whined, propping himself up on his elbows. “You let me make a total fool of myself!”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. He debated making a remark to the effect of Nino making a fool of himself with or without Adrien’s help but ultimately decided against it, instead going with, “When?”

Nino pointed accusingly. “You let me go on and on about my embarrassing crush on Chat Noir!”

Alya clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. To be fair, she’d felt a little dumb when she’d discovered that she’d been raving to Marinette about her superhero alter ego all these years, but Nino seemed more embarrassed whereas Alya had been able to easily laugh at herself in retrospect.

“I was flattered,” Adrien insisted, crouching down so that he was on Nino’s level. “Seriously. It’s not a big deal. I’m used to people fawning over Adrien’s stupid model face all the time, and Chat Noir’s fans can be a little…um…weird…most of the time, so it was really refreshing that someone thought he was attractive as a person,” he admitted sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Nino sat up, frowning at Adrien, clearly not impressed. “Dude, I went on, like, rants about your ass.”

Adrien shrugged. “I have a very nice asset, and it looks objectively better in magical leather. You have good taste in men.”

Nino’s frown morphed into a miffed stare of disapproval. “This isn’t weird for you at all, is it?”

Adrien flashed another sheepish grin as he shook his head. “Afraid not. Besides, even if it was, I’m sure you’re completely cured of your temporary insanity now that you know just who it is under the mask.”

Nino let out a bark of laughter, roughly tussling Adrien’s hair. “Fat chance, Mec! Nah, now that I know, I’m even more in love with you.” He turned to Alya to mutter a quick, “Sorry, Al,” before returning his attention to his best friend. “Adrien Agreste, will you marry me?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Adrien cackled, nearly knocking Nino over backwards as he launched himself at his friend, wrapping Nino in a tight hug. “Can we have an April wedding? I’m a spring, so I look best in bright, light, warm colours. I think you’re probably an autumn, so deep, warm colours would suit you best. We might need to hire a consultant.”

“Whatever you say, My Love,” Nino tittered, his sides beginning to hurt from laughter.

Alya gave a snort as she put her hands on her hips. “Hey! What am I? Yesterday’s garbage? I thought we were getting married!”

“You don’t even believe in marriage,” Nino continued to laugh.

Alya crossed her arms and gave her head a little toss. “True, but your pestering was starting to make me come around to the idea.”

“Well, how about Adrien can be my sexy househusband, and you can be my wild, adventurous lover?” he suggested.

Adrien shrugged, pulling back out of the hug. “I’m down with that.”

Alya considered for a moment and then shrugged as well. “Yeah, okay. That works for me. I don’t actually believe in marriage anyway.”

Nino gave his eyes a fond roll, turning to Adrien. “I’ll wear her down one of these days.”

“Definitely,” Adrien agreed and then paused, suddenly looking uncertain. “…Are we okay?”

Nino pushed all joking aside and really looked at his friend. “Yeah. I’m not mad or whatever you were worried about. I get that you couldn’t tell me, even though you wanted to. When I first became Carapace, I wanted to tell you too, but Ladybug was pretty clear about the rules, so…”

He inhaled slowly, taking Adrien in. “But, man… Holy crap…. You’re Chat Noir.”

Adrien nodded timidly. “Yeah.”

Abruptly, tears sprang forth from the corners of Nino’s eyes and began spilling down his cheeks. “You get beaten up a lot.”

Adrien winced, replying softly, “Yeah.”

“That’s…” Nino swallowed and tried again. “That was hard enough to watch when you were just Chat Noir…. I don’t think I can do this, knowing it’s you getting thrown around like a rag doll.”

“Sorry,” Adrien whispered, wishing there was some way to make it easier. “I really am sorry, but it’s my job.”

Nino’s eyes widened in fear, and he cursed once more, breathlessly.

Adrien cocked his head to the side in question.

Nino shook his head, his bottom lip beginning to tremble as the tears came harder and faster. He took Adrien’s face in his hands, and his voice cracked as he whimpered, “You d-die…sometimes.”

Adrien held Nino’s gaze, mountains of apologies filling his eyes as he nodded sadly in confirmation.

It was then that Alya beckoned to Plagg who had curled up on top of one of the speakers on her desk. “Cheese,” she mouthed, motioning for him to follow her out into the kitchen to give the guys some privacy.

Plagg willingly complied, floating over to hide in the hood of her hoodie as she slipped soundlessly out of the room.

Meanwhile, Nino, closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, trying to hold in the whirling spiral of emotions he was feeling.

Adrien scooted closer, leaning in to rest his forehead against Nino’s. “Shhh,” he coaxed, wrapping his arms around his friend. “It’s okay. I’m okay, Nino.”

“Sometimes you’re not, though,” Nino hiccupped bitterly.

“Only for a little while,” Adrien added, trying to appease. “I try to be careful. I really did hear you when you chewed Chat Noir out for being reckless. I was listening, and I’ve tried not to jump into danger unnecessarily…. It’s just…sometimes it is necessary.”

Nino pulled back to look Adrien in the face, his eyes filled with fierce determination. “I need you to do something for me, promise me something.”

Adrien readily nodded. “Of course.”

“Talk to Ladybug for me,” Nino instructed. “Convince her to give me the Turtle Miraculous full-time.”

Adrien’s eyes widened in surprise. “But—”

“—No,” Nino cut him off. “Convince her. Don’t take no for an answer. Don’t tell me it’s dangerous or some crap like that. Bros don’t let bros stay sidelined. I can protect you. I can keep you safe. Let me help, Adrien. Let me be your shield. That’s what my job is supposed to be.”

Slowly, Adrien began to nod. As much as he wanted his best friend as far away from danger as possible, he completely understood how Nino felt. If their situations were reversed, Adrien would do anything he could to make Nino safer.

“Okay. I’ll talk to her,” Adrien promised, “and I will bug the hell out of her until she gives in.”

Nino let out a long sigh of relief as he nodded. “Okay. All right. Good enough for now…. Thanks, Mec.”

“Thank you,” Adrien stressed, leaning in to press a butterfly’s wing beat of a kiss to Nino’s cheek.

Nino laughed, pulling Adrien into a crushing hug. He gave Adrien’s cheek a sloppy smooch, declaring, “Love you, Man.”

Adrien returned the laughter with interest, settling into Nino’s embrace, finding comfort there. “Love you too.”