#but when its so fetishistic............ get some help

[whatever-you-can-give-me]

clarifying something in regards to my trigun meta, because i’m realizing finally why people get so tetchy with me about it.

tl;dr: can i please talk about canon events of consent violation as an entirely separate conversation from the fandom concept of a ship? i’m talking about what is, not what if.

cw: trigun spoilers, rape, incest. you know the drill.

also, because i made this mistake once before: if you use or interpret this post as some kind of tirade against kv shippers, or get morally righteous about icky fetishists in my notes: fuck off, you do not speak for me, i hate you, and this is exactly why we need to be able to separate analysis and shipping.

moving on.

okay but. people do understand. that rape is not necessarily about attraction or even about sex, right?

when i talk about the scenes i describe as sexual assault in trigun, i’m not saying that it means knives/vash is canon. i’m saying that there’s a deliberate construction to the narrative that makes knives’ violation of his siblings’ consent a driving force of the plot and what eventually screws him over.

i know this is a “yelling in the library and expecting not to be shushed” situation. you can’t take a piss in fandom without someone asking if you have a fetish.

but i really think we can stand to at least not keep putting square pegs in round holes, here.

yes, i know, you tag non-con with a slash too. but i’m not talking about shipping when i talk about knives violating the consent of vash and his sisters. those are two different modes of engaging with consent violation and relationships that involve it.

attraction and desire can be motives behind assault. but it’s not the only or even the most driving motivation. assault — violation of consent — is about power. having and exercising power over another. regardless of that’s to satisfy a personal desire or to force them to comply or just to hurt them.

(this is the same reason that using “pedophilia” as the catch-all it’s currently used as is rather than its actual definition is Fucking Stupid, but i digress)

when i discuss the metaphysical acts i refer to as analogous to rape, i am not saying that knives’ actions and his treatment of vash are driven by attraction (exclusively — that’s a conversation for another post) or that he fuses with his sisters to have an incestuous genocide orgy.

i’m saying that it’s extremely telling how knives treats his siblings, the acts of domination over them and the violation of their consent, their bodily autonomy, and their willpower, when his stated goal is to prevent humans from doing the same.

knives believes in power. that’s the only thing he believes in. and fundamentally, that’s why his attempts to “help” the dependent plants results in far more harm than good, and ultimately in failure.

he doesn’t understand freedom. he understands power. so for plants to be safe, in his eyes, there can be no humans that could hold power over them — the only one with the right to overpower them is him.

in vash’s case, the line blurs — vash is almost a whole, real person to him. he wants his cooperation, wants his company, he does desire him, in one way or another. but if vash won’t listen to him, won’t comply, won’t cede, won’t indulge in power for power’s sake [july incident, trimax] there’s no choice but to overpower him. consume him.

and the other reason i describe these events as assault, as rape — they are not just violations, not just acts of control. they have consequences. knives takes power from his siblings. keeps it, hoards it, so they have no way to challenge him. he literally consumes [trimax] and warps [stampede] his sisters’ bodies and destroys their homes. they cannot go back what they were before he raped them. and neither can vash — knives’ actions, nearly all of them, are designed to isolate vash. to make him terrified of his own body. to keep him from reaching out to humans. to give him nowhere to run but back to knives, knives who will stop hurting him, stop him from being hurt, if he’d just listen.

does knives love his siblings? yes. but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. and when all you have are knives… well.

shipping is a what if. this is just what is.

[mushroomnoodles]

this ask may sound fetishist but it ISNTT 💀💀💀 is just an ask about candy's body biology.

Can candy simon carry, idk sextuplets? and be alright? normal human body would struggle and have miscarriages or premature birth, also conditions like back pain or bad breathing in the mother. Would candy simon being just candy be able to experience the struggle of carrying or would he just do it normally?

do candy bodies have limits? like pregnancy it's taxing on the body –most when you pop baby after baby— judging by the fact that Betty and simon have like 7 children with apparently different ages, I'm gonna guess that is a maybe.

can candy simon experiment any miscarriage? maybe by a miscalculation of candy's witch beans idk.

this is a very good ask and i love these kinds of genuinely curious questions! makes me think. you're all good! tw/cw for non kink mpreg mentions and birth defect/miscarriage talk. also.. candy simon reproduction (since he's the only candy person even equipped to carry a child)

no, candy simon cannot carry sextuplets. that he would not survive. the way his body is now designed to work is to prioritize the growth of his unborn baby, which means his body uses its own sugars to grow the fetus. the most he could theoretically handle without some serious detriment to his health is triplets.

with, for example, quads, candy simon doesn't need to breathe, and he can't feel pain, but he would be extremely weak and low-energy, along with showing signs of malnourishment (and he would die, if candy witch didn't care for and monitor him closely. he would not be able to get up and feed himself.)

candy simon, as long as he is properly eating, can essentially go through pregnancy with minimal issues besides intense cravings (his body replacing the sugars) and mood swings. the weight of being pregnant is something he notices but it's a trivial issue that just makes it harder to manuever.

his organs are very simple (and don't entirely mirror a human's) and with each pregnancy candy witch keeps a close eye on his physical health. it helps that candy simon can just.. physically replace parts of himself with caramel. hell, it helps that candy simon is caramel- he's very sturdy and resilient, and easily mended. candy simon could get squashed and be fine.

like i said, his main (and pretty much only) danger is.. well.. giving too much of himself to his fetus. malnourishing himself.

candy simon's children are all at least a few years apart, and in between children candy simon is given enough time to physically recuperate (not that he needs much) he can keep going as long as he's healthy and in one piece.

and yes, candy simon can experience a miscarriage, but only by defect of candy witch's jelly beans. when eaten by a candy person, they're meant to sort of burrow through and "take root" in a place to grow. for candy simon, who is specifically now built for this, the bean will take root in his. er. candy womb, where it will begin taking sugars and other minerals needed to become a candy person.

if the jelly bean isn't produced properly or is "off," one of three things could happen:

the bean acts as a normal jelly bean and never "fruits"

the bean ceases growth shortly after implanting and is reabsorbed into his body

the bean continues development but creates a candy kid with defects/deformities

if, for some reason, his body did not absorb a partially grown, but failed, jelly bean, candy witch would remove it. she keeps tabs on his body once he eats a bean, so she knows if something's gone wrong with the pregnancy.

[anonymous-dentist]

Hi anon, sorry to bring the sbi family fanfic discussion again and for the long post , (your posts ware what made realize why i hated this thing so much)

I don’t know if is the same type of fans but i noticed that some ficwritters that are really foucused on philza and wilbur (and sbi family i think?) Are kinda trying to add cellbit to this situation? Like i read some philza focused fanfic where he interacts with cellbit and the ficwritters act like cellbit is his kid? Its weird idk how to explain very well (this is also the same people that kinda write cellbit as a native english speaker (american and european) and not a brazilian (its something that is too hard to explain right now)

And its kinda stressing me out because cellbit is written in such a weid way and its infesting the spiderbit tag lol and i dont understand what is going on half of the time since idk what the hell sbi even is (brazilian with 0 understanding about english speaking mcty)

Sorry for the long post

Oh yeah no I don’t really get it but like. I also do! Because q!Phil has become one of only a literal handful of people on the island to actually properly trust q!Cellbit and so they’re like. Friends. But obviously you can never just be friends with someone not your age and so. Fandom assigned family dynamic. It’s super weird and lowkey like. Idk it’s just weird lol.

A discussion surely must follow!

First, a brief rundown of SBI:

SBI is Sleepy Boys Inc., a group made of up streamers Philza, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, and Technoblade. (Originally it was just Phil, Wilbur, and Techno, but Tommy wiggled his way in somehow.) They’re Best Friends, but somewhere along the way their fandoms said. Fuck it. Family dynamic… mostly because the ccs lowkey thought it was funny and ran with it. Wilbur alone would rather die than not have Philza Minecraft be his father

This dynamic spread to their characters on the dsmp despite them literally not once ever referring to each other all as family; iirc Techno himself said he at least wasn’t part of the family because that dynamic would be fucked up after all the shit his character did to both c!Wilbur and c!Tommy. But c!Phil was c!Wilbur’s father even though he did fully murder his ass, and Wilbur and Tommy were brothers because they’re Wilbur and Tommy and you’d have to kill them to stop them from being brothers. Tommy was never established to be c!Phil’s son, and Phil never seemed to consider him one

But then the dsmp started dying around summer 2021 and everyone was kinda just left with fanon, and SBI fanon can get weird. I’m talking borderline fetishistic nuclear family stuff, especially when you get into ‘Dark SBI’ content with Phil kidnapping Tommy or whatever and forcibly making them family? It gets weird, take a look through the tag sometime

The thing with a lot of these fics is that like. It’s gotten to a point where it’s a fandomized version of both cc! and c!SBI with some really freaky characterizations and some really diehard fans. I’ve talked about that before, so I won’t do it again.

The weirdest thing I’ve noticed about these fics, though- and this goes back to what we were talking about with Cellbit inexplicably being added to the mix all of a sudden- is that everybody has to be a family.

You’ll be hard pressed to find a SBI fic where the characters have friends. Even Tubbo and Ranboo, usually delegated to a ‘Tommy’s friend!’ role despite them not interacting much like as a group ever are treated either as extensions of Tommy himself or as his found family ‘brothers’ who Phil also inevitably helps take care of rather than as friends, and they act that way. Niki isn’t usually ever written in as Wilbur’s friend, she’s Benchtrio’s sister/mother-figure, or she’s described as Wilbur’s found family sister. Jack Manifold? Lumped in with Niki with Benchtrio as their older brother/father-figure. Quackity? Either Wilbur’s boyfriend, thus a member of the family, or Tommy’s older brother/father-figure.

Even characters who never really interacted with SBI as a “family” on the dsmp get this treatment: you’ll read an SBI fic with c!Purpled in it and he’ll be Tommy’s brother figure. c!Sam is Tommy’s father figure. Schlatt is Tommy’s uncle or Wilbur’s brother. Puffy is an aunt. Sapnap and Dream? Tommy’s brother or father figures. Even Hannah is being written as Tommy’s cool older sister figure these days despite only really interacting with him once on the smp

And you can see this kind of behavior continuing now in the qsmp fandom… if the new ccs/characters in question aren’t “problematic”. Chayanne can’t see Techno as a personal hero, he has to see him as an older brother or an uncle. Tubbo is Phil and Fit’s son and Tommy’s brother. Niki is Tallulah’s mom. Quackity is Wilbur’s boyfriend.

What you’ll actually be hard pressed to see is this kind of dynamic with Phil and other, “problematic” ccs, aka ccs who aren’t like. English ccs.

Because you won’t find q!Forever included in the family dynamics despite him basically being q!Phil’s best friend and closest confidant. It took longer for q!Missa to be added to Phil’s wiki page than it did for Techno to despite them literally being explicit canon husbands, and you’ll be lucky if Missa is even mentioned in a “qsmp” SBI fic. Etoiles? Not even mentioned despite him and Phil more or less actually leaning into the family dynamic with the “brothers” thing. Even Tallulah and Chayanne are left out or mischaracterized in “qsmp” SBI fics, giving Tommy the spotlight.

You won’t find nearly anybody who isn’t an English cc in these fics, and this is NOT accusing anyone of xenophobia. It’s most likely just because the SBI people are used to watching only Phil or only Wilbur and they don’t speak enough of the other languages to really care about the non-English ccs and thus disregard their characters and lore. It’s not just SBI people who do this, it’s plenty of people speaking every language on the server not watching anyone whose languages they don’t speak. Yk?

But that brings us to q!Cellbit, and I’m surprised the SBI guys have latched onto him the way they did considering he’s everything they seem to dislike: his first language isn’t English, he doesn’t talk with Phil a lot, he and Tallulah get along really well, he makes fun of Wilbur being gone. And, honestly? The SBI guys did hate him for a long time because of those things, they constantly undermined his efforts and said Phil would be a better Order leader and said that he should never speak to Tallulah again because he was making her sad and he’s friends with their least favorite person ever, Forever.

But then q!Phil said he trusted Cellbit, and it’s like a switch was flipped. Starting around the Pills Arc when they first teamed up, SBI people were suddenly on board with Cellbit despite being part of the haters literally days before. Why? Well. Phil and Cellbit are friends now, and so now he gets the privilege of being in the fics.

The problem with this is that these people have never watched Cellbit. They’ve seen ten minutes of him total from Phil’s pov, and that’s all they’re going to use to write his character. So of course there will be mischaracterization.

And, of course, they’ll be family. Because, as I said, there’s this weird allergy to the concept of friendship in SBI fics. You’re family or you’re an enemy.

Constant fanon mischaracterization of Phil has basically turned him into a universal father figure even if he doesn’t have that dynamic with the characters he’s like the “father” of. q!Cellbit’s only familial figure outside of his actual canon family is generally seen as q!Bad, who even referred to him as family last night on stream. But, because Phil and Cellbit are friends now and Cellbit is younger than Phil is, they have to have a father-son dynamic, because that’s what Phil’s only character trait is in the SBI fics he’s in. He’s the dad whether it makes sense or not.

If that makes sense.

[beelmons]

Escapade 3 - Bonus (Reid's POV)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!reader Rating: Explicit, readers under 18 are not advised to read this story. Tags: smut, best friends to lovers, possible angst at some point, porn with plot, mentions of weapons, minor OC appeareances for plot purposes, mentions of death for plot purposes, unprotected sex, reader drinks a bit of alcohol. Summary: After you leave his room with Morgan, Reid's mind drifts to unhappy places. Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 / 3: Bonus | 4 | 5 | 6 A/N: Repost so it can appear in tags. If you want to be added to the tag list for future chapts, let me know in the comments or my ask! Tag list: @punkndisorderrly

Derek and Spencer loved each other. They did. Less like friends, and more like the older brother that would succeed in every way during high school and, well, Spencer. It’s not like he was jealous of him, or was he? He had just walked out with the girl he was… What? What was he doing with her? Banging her? That’s not right, it was a bit more than that, at least that’s what he tried to state for himself, but for a fact-checking genius, he was having a hard time accepting that he was, in fact, nothing to you.

He clutched the knob of the door, why wasn’t he moving? It was so easy to go out and say “Hey, Morgan, I’ll walk her to her room instead”, and it would certainly put at ease every insecurity he was feeling. With a deep breath, he let go. His sight travelled to the tea table in the middle of the room where you had been working earlier in the evening. He didn’t really feel like learning about balloon fetishists anymore. He contemplated cleaning up, but his eyes seemed tired all of a sudden. Dragging his feet, he got into bed.

You were supposed to be there, too, next to him, your lips against his skin, or his dick, or just his own. Instead, you were out there on a night walk with Derek Morgan, nonetheless. Enough. The more he let his mind wander, the further he felt like he was sinking into a no-return oblivion. He needed to forget about it. What a fun time to have an eidetic memory, wasn’t it? Or, perhaps, he was looking at it from the wrong perspective.

He was the one who had the opportunity to engrave on his mind forever the sound of your moans, the chance to memorize every nook and cranny of your body, the angle you liked to be fucked in, and the exact degree his fingers should be curled upwards to make you squirm. Without realizing it, he had gotten himself excited again. He tilted his head down, as he laid face-up on the bed, to look at his newfound issue, man, was he hoping this night would have ended differently.

Regardless of his exhaustion, he seemed unable to fall asleep, and now it was just going to get harder. Literally. Reluctantly, he decided to take his member out from his pants, he could not help but think how the last time he was so excited it had been in that utility closet with you. You clenched on him so hard, possibly because you were nervous about getting caught; his hand mimicked the pressure as it started to move up and down his shaft. He could remember every single movement, the pace he held as he fucked you from behind. The fist he had formed began to pick up its speed, and his breath seemed to follow. His mind was flooded with pictures of you, the sound of your ass against his thighs, the intense pleasure he made you feel.

He wanted to recreate the first time you were together, the extraordinary blowjob you provided when you wanted him to “relax.” He stopped his motion for a second to gather some saliva in his mouth and spread it all over his palm, within seconds his grip was back on his aching member. It wasn’t the same, of course, but it provided some relief. The lubrication helped him go faster, and the image of your mouth around him was giving him all the inspiration he needed to finish the job. His hand adjusted to the speed he was really needing, steady and slow, his hips were uncontrollable, bucking up and hard as he had done once to your mouth, the memory still vivid in this mind. His pants had gotten stronger, breathier, his mind clouded as he put more pressure on his cock. His stomach began to tense up, his climax about to reach, his free hand clung onto the bed sheets, he needed more, more of this, more of you.

As the thoughts clouded his mind and his climax reached him he allowed himself to let out a needy moan of pleasure, and yet, without noticing, your name came out his lips instead.

Not your last name, as every coworker used to call you, but your name. Your beautiful, lovely name.

Oh, no.

[hanako-san]

Guess! Guess! These ask is from someone you know ✨✨

Some reasons to hate the Daikon:

Always, swooning over other guys (its 100+ chapter peeps! Cant take anymore)

Didnt apologize for Her mistakes!

Always naive, and calls for help from hanako

Bullied Amane, in pp arc but never apologized

Always falling and getting used by guys but know that she knows they are using her, she wants to be used (famous words from akane telling her she is a maso)

Reasons to love Aoi! (HanaAoi)

Aois hair are in circles like donuts, Amane likes donuts

Amane deserves better then a selfish Daikon a beauty (Aoi)

Amane tried to kiss aoi when he was daikon

Aoi has flaws, but she accepted it knowing everyone has secrets they keep

Aoi has the best character arc Despite not being a main character

Thier quite similar in personality

Shes the best gurl

Actual better bff who listens unlike a certain daikon

Thats all!

Hmm?? My guardian angel? 😊✨✨

Thank you for this wonderful ask! Briefly and concisely, I would like to expand on one point because I am curious about your opinion.

in p.p arc She said 'I'm so sorry' when Amane admonished her, but that doesn't count, right? because honestly she started beating him again at the end of the p.p arc, saying that he was an "abuser", being an abuser herself and beating him at the same moment, total hypocrisy on her part💀 , I honestly think that such an apology is not an apology. She really doesn't regret it and in the p.p. arc it wasn't the only arc where she did something like that,what do you think? She has never sincerely apologized to anyone, she is always reprimanded and will do it, but she does not regret her own actions. She never regrets her actions because she thinks she didn't do anything, so her sorrys are insincere and cannot be considered a real apology.

I was just reading the line "you are a fetishist" when I came to this point in the question to remind of some facts 🤣

Comparing Aoi 's hair to donuts is so cute. I never thought about it, but it's one more reason to love them very much! 🥺✨

[dreamingdarklyblog]

<And for the part she can't read>

<And now, i'd like to talk about some of the methodology of the bedrock stuff i've been pushing into her brain, the slow creeping stuff that is probably the real heat for you deviants out there.>

<The first thing I worked on, and that has been a consistent theme since I started working with her, has been edging and general masturbation habits. The reality is I find that mind control fetishists make better subjects when they are horny. There are diminishing returns at the end of the day, but the more you can keep someone horny and on edge, the easier it is to work with them. When I started with her, masturbation was an every once in a while event, and edging was not something she ever did. Now I have her chasing that dragon, trying to stay horny and enjoy herself a lot more often, which makes my job that much easier. She's gone from maybe masturbating every other day to edging and trying to cum at least 2-3 times a day even if she's busy, and a lot more if she isn't busy. As most of you have probably gathered, i'm a hedonist, so this really just puts her more in line with how I feel life should be lived anyways.>

<Paradoxically, while i'm working hard on getting her to be more in touch with her sexuality and playing with herself even when alone, i'm also utilizing the carrot of orgasms being a lot more fun and fulfilling with me than they are on her own. This is an area where the stick is really not advisable, I find it's better to just turn the dial up so to speak and let nature take its course. Here we are a few months later, and she's starting to admit that she'd rather just wait to cum with me than do it on her own. It's not a natural process I want to push too hard, she has to be self-sufficient, but the idea that there is that little extra carrot at the end of the stick when dealing with me is just another chink in the psychological armor that I can use. Get someone horny enough and dangle a super orgasm in front of their face and you can get them to believe a lot of things.>

<She's also a private person. A VERY private person. Which clashes a lot with this blog, because this blog basically requires her to be open about her sexuality in a way that she often finds deeply uncomfortable. I've directly questioned her a few times on if she wants to continue, and she does, because she also finds it hot to share, but fights herself over it as well. A real catch-22. I've been working on wearing down her sense of shame and embarrassment when talking about these topics, but it's a really slow process for anything that isn't just a temporary change. I suspect this is one of those topics that i'll be waging a war against for the entire time we play together.>

<Those are the three bigger "meta" things i've been working on with her as a subject. On paper it may not sound like a lot, but keep in mind the human mind, even when a willing subject, is stubborn as fuck when it comes to habitual changes. I'm actually quite proud of both her and myself with what we've been able to achieve so far. It's been a fun ride that I hope doesn't end anytime soon. For those that may want to help in those goals, my only request is this: Continue to give her positive outside reinforcement. It makes a real difference when people share and talk positively about what she's sharing, or encouraging her to rub her pussy more, or even that cumming on her own is kinda dull. Hearing it from multiple angles helps solidify the new behaviors a lot, very similar to throwing someone into a new culture and letting them adapt as they mingle. I freely admit that @pavlovsbimbo has probably been a true asset in this regard so far, and hope others will as well.>

[genderkoolaid]

Hi this im sharing my experience w transandrophobia when i was younger. ⚠️TW for rape but nothing explicit. Also, sorry this might be long, theres a few parts I wanna cover, and I'm wondering if anyone else hs hd a similar experience. I was 15 and had only been out as trans for like a year or 2, and I didn't really know anyone else who was queer, let alone trans, so when a new trans girl around my age moved to my school I was excited, and I told her that I liked her outfit. We chatted a few times after that, and after a while she invited me to hang out at her place. I hadn't really known her well, but I was so excited to make a new friend that I kinda pushed any worries to the back of my mind. However, once I was there, we were bonding over being trans, and she started saying really weird things, that she couldn't understand why anyone would want to transition to being a guy, and that T corrupted people and made them ugly. At the time I still had a lot of iternalized transandrophobia, so I had initially brushed them off as a little harsh but ultimatly #feminist. Later that night things took a turn for the worse, and I'll spare you the gorey details, but I do remember that she told me that I'd be so much better as a lesbian, and that she had made fun of my packer to the point that I cannot pack anymore (something that used to help w dysphoria) bc of the assosiation of that night. She also said some fetishistic things about me being asian (shes white). I never ended up reporting it, bc at the time I still wasnt sure what had happened, and if it really had been rape. But I did ask her to never speak to/contact me again and blocked her. It made going to school really hard, because I was so nervous that I'd see her in the halls. After about a week, as I was leaving school she came up to me and started crying and telling me was sorry, and I didn't know what to do and people around me were glaring at me and it was just such a scary situation. I didn't really see her much after that. It was a long time before I told anyone. Its so hard talking about it because on one side, I'm worried that people will think I'm making it up to hurt trans women or to push a certain narrative. I want to say that I do not think this is a problem with trans women as a whole, moreso an individual problem with her. In fact, I had a similar experience at the hands of a cis woman when i was much younger. On the other hand, when I have talked about it, cis people have used it as an excuse to misgender her, or otherwise be transphobic, which doesnt help at all and just makes me feel worse. It just solidifies that they don't really see either of us as valid. That i'm just some poor little little girl who needs to be protected. Its been a few years, and I'm still getting over it, but I really wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks. Sorry it's so long.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I know there are other transmascs who have been in similar situations with transfem abusers and not talking about it for fear of the optics & how it can be used as a weapon by others, so just know you aren't alone and I'm glad you shared this.

[momxijinping]

Why are there so many trans tankies? What is the beef between trans studies and queer theory? This essay proposes to answer both questions at once by identifying homologies between trans (and other) criticisms of queer theory and Marxist-Leninist criticisms of Western Marxism. That queer theory broadly shares Western Marxist proclivities towards pessimism and theoreticism is exemplified in its treatment of categories such as normativity, the universal, the bodily, the virtual, and science. Trans people’s experience impels us to seek further afield for a theory adequate to our situation, rejecting the chauvinist anticommunism that other leftists take for granted, and discovering underappreciated benefits to “sympathizing with the monster.” From this deparochialized perspective, it makes as little sense for a Marxist-Leninist to be transphobic as it does for a trans person to be anticommunist.

The problem of recognition in transitional states is the difficulty of assigning to a definite set an object that possesses some of the features of two mutually exclusive ones, and the harms attendant on failing to do so. Socialism is not capitalism; hence capitalist traits are evidence of non-socialism, and vice versa. On this excluded middle hinges the standard argument against the socialist credentials of any given country: “Look, they’ve still got commodities. They’ve still got accumulation. They’ve still got bureaucracy, repression, and elites. They’re still impersonally dominated by the market.” Western Marxism [1] has found many reasons to be pessimistic about the emancipatory bona fides of Eastern Marxism [2], or what is sometimes called Really Existing Socialism. Lacking the experience of a successful revolution to draw on, it has focused its attention instead on the rather dismal question of why, in the words of Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari, “men fight for their servitude as stubbornly as though it were their salvation” (38). [emphasis mine]

[...]

When a trans person transitions, are they stubbornly fighting for their servitude? This is one “gender critical” take on trans women, certainly — that male fetishists get off at being subordinated, otherwise why self-identify into an oppressed class? But anyone who’s not transphobic tends to view trans people’s coming out of the closet as a brave act of self-affirmation, an obstinacy in favor of authenticity and salvation. This fundamental optimism may help explain trans people’s relatively greater willingness to break with Western Marxist orthodoxy in their evaluation of Really Existing Socialism.

[...]

The form of Flower’s dig at the trans left mirrors that of the old Trotskyist slogan “Neither Washington nor Moscow”: here it’s neither “liberalised, eclectic anarchism” nor “various Stalinisms longing for states and father figures” but instead a secret third thing, not yet dominant but superior to both inasmuch as it is neither psychopathological nor superstitious. On Flower’s view, those Marxists who still cling to outmoded Cold War campism have fallen prey to a false dichotomy, one that must be refused if we are to maintain a healthy and rational independence of thought. This independence is incommensurate with dogmatic (Stalinist) assertions of the kind “the USSR was socialist” or “the PRC is socialist”, just as it is incommensurate with dogmatic (anarchist) assertions like “no state could ever be socialist”.

What is the trans-theoretical equivalent of this argument to moderation? “We should not be so dogmatic as to say that trans people ‘are’ their ‘true’ gender, nor that they could never be.” Limbo, then. This is certainly one way of denying the law of the excluded middle: setting up shop in it, absolutizing it. The word my therapist uses to talk about gender transition is tránsito, a word whose naive translation from Spanish into English is “transit”. This implies the lovely metaphor of a journey from point A (in my case, man) to point B (in my case, woman). Compare this metaphor to the more abstract “transition”, which has no obvious physical interpretation. It’s understood that a tránsito is going to take some time, that one may be held up along the way (perhaps by some kind of natural disaster, or highwaymen), and that for most of the journey one cannot rightly be said to be in either A or B. That said: journeys end.

Gender performance, by contrast, does not. In Second Skins: The Body Narratives of Transsexuality, Jay Prosser charges Judith Butler (and queer theory in general) with “not explor[ing] the bodiliness of gendered crossings”, through which bodiliness “the transsexual reveals queer theory’s own limits: what lies beyond or beneath its favored terrain of gender performativity” (Prosser 6). This return to the body and its materiality could just as well describe the move from a Western Marxist preoccupation with ideology to the Eastern Marxist preoccupation with the complexities of building socialism after a successful revolution. [8]

[...]

Trans studies has set itself apart from queer theory, to the limited extent that it has, by building on trans experiences, one of which is that gender is not all bad. Another is transphobia. Among the tenets of transphobia are the ideas that

trans people are lying and/or deluded about who we are,

trans people are sexual predators,

trans people are bullies (when we do politics), and

trans people will never “really be” men/women.

Trans people today are almost inevitably confronted with such claims at some point in our lives, often before even transitioning. Point four is the one that most resembles what Grace Lavery calls “egg theory”: “the type of reasoning that trans people use, prior to transition, to prove transition’s impossibility or fruitlessness” (383). Lavery makes the case that there is a trans-antagonism inherent to queer theory’s valorization of universality and virtuality. Not everyone is trans, and transness is not merely virtual (although it often begins that way). The point is well-taken. But particularity is not synonymous with individuality, and problems of signaling and collective action still arise in a world where not everyone is trans: to what extent do one’s own subjective prospects depend on how one perceives other trans people’s success or failure at transition? Trans theorists have been loath to cede any ground to the theory of social contagion by answering “greatly”, and yet trans people have instinctively expressed a solidarity that in this case outstrips theory. That is, there is a general recognition that to deny the reality of any one trans person’s gender-claim is to weaken them all. It is not a matter of indifference to me whether another trans person is misgendered. [emphasis mine]

Much of the Western left has handled the question of socialist transition by saying that Eastern Marxism is lying/deluded about what it is and ruling Communist parties are predatory bullies, but socialism might someday be possible. Michael Parenti, in his book Blackshirts and Reds, calls this “left anticommunism”. He writes: “Left anticommunists find any association with communist organizations to be morally unacceptable because of the ‘crimes of communism’” (48) and “Like conservatives, left anticommunists tolerated nothing less than a blanket condemnation of the Soviet Union as a Stalinist monstrosity and a Leninist moral aberration” (46). Thanks to the internet, trans people cannot go very long without being reminded of problematic, even horrific things done by other trans people. Some of these reports are true, while others are fabrications. They have inured trans people on the ground against demonization, the preferred tactic of professional anticommunists. This has had the obvious consequence of trans people coming to sympathize with monsters.

As Susan Stryker writes in “My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix: Performing Transgender Rage”, a foundational text in trans studies, “The very success of Mary Shelley’s scientist in his self-appointed task thus paradoxically proves its futility: rather than demonstrate Frankenstein’s power over materiality, the newly enlivened body of the creature attests to its maker’s failure to attain the mastery he sought. Frankenstein cannot control the mind and feelings of the monster he makes. It exceeds and refutes his purposes” (248). Here the good doctor works as a perfect stand-in for Marx, or Marxism before 1917, while his remorse is the tradition of Western Marxism, which has fixated on the question of what went wrong. [12] Marxism-Leninism is, of course, the monster. [13] Faced with threats and obstacles that had never appeared on paper, Really Existing Socialist states were forced to make terrible trade-offs and adopt a monstrously long view of the struggle for communism. [14] The party of remorse can afford to have clean hands; those who would survive under imperialist encirclement cannot. Optimism and realism, I said earlier. Survival is possible, but you are going to have to change. [emphasis mine]

[...]

Adorno and Horkheimer are not wrong to observe that there is a monstrosity to progress narratives in general — to adjudge an ending superior to a beginning implies the justifiability or nonessentialness of whatever crimes were committed along the way. [16] Another less monstrous option is to attribute those crimes to other, counter-progressive, forces, but this is inconsistent with a transition narrative in which the individual telling it matures, insofar as it is a sign of maturity to accept responsibility for one’s mistakes. Trans people coming off what may be decades of untreated dysphoria often struggle with self-loathing and, like any recovering addict or depressed person, have to reconcile ourselves to past mistakes in a way that neither cancels them out (which would be irresponsible) nor absolutizes them (which would be paralyzing, another dodge). A nuanced, non-moralizing view of individual errors is easily extended to encompass collective errors, especially when those are found to be anticommunist inventions or exaggerations (as is generally the case). [17]

The basic question is whether the deconstructive method will be applied purposively or incontinently, as determinate or abstract negation. The former, deconstructing the gender assigned to one at birth, or deconstructing anticommunist common sense, answers to a specific telos. The latter, deconstructing all categories of gender and sexuality, or deconstructing all “grand narratives”, is not subordinated to any political project and thus tends to become a sovereign principle and a source of hostility to all particularity in favor of the smoothness of the virtual. [18] Socialism’s validity as a category is dependent on communism being a genuine possibility that is not immediately realizable. If communism is already in effect everywhere in a virtual sense — that is, if everyone is already queer — then Really Existing Socialist states are left with nothing to accomplish, and nothing in particular is justified for them to do — i.e. trans people are merely reaffirming the gender binary. [emphasis mine]

Alternatively, if socialism is a valid category, then we have an obligation to understand it on its own terms. Doing so troubles the self-serving betrayal narratives that have mediated the reception of Marxism in the West. Of course, betrayal narratives are not exclusive to any one tendency — to have one’s unrealistic expectations dashed generally precipitates the search for a scapegoat. That said, Eastern Marxism is much more concerned with tempering those expectations with realism, and thus preventing future “betrayals”, than Western Marxism, for which each new departure from the utopian ideal is merely a license to double down on it and “return to Marx”.

I will highlight three especially villainous figures for Western Marxism, the Great Betrayers, and ask what makes them trans, rather than queer. The first Great Betrayer is Friedrich Engels, who is charged with grossly oversimplifying Marx’s subtle and nuanced thought in the name of popularization, positivism, and Hegelianism (Piedra, Sheehan). As the author of The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State, he is also sometimes credited with founding Marxist feminism (Carver 479). His principal theoretical sin is to have affirmed the dialectic of nature, implying a natural teleology to which queer theory cannot subscribe, worried as it is about who might be left out. Trans people’s horse in this race should be obvious: an undialectical take on biological sex is the argumentative basis (though probably not the affective one) for most transphobia. [19] We need nature to be dialectical, imbricated with its putative other, the artificial, and not simply self-identical. Humanity’s self-making is our whole jam. [emphasis mine]

The second Great Betrayer is Joseph Stalin, who represents Socialism in One Country, the Great Purge, a social-conservative turn against the rights of women and sexual minorities, the cult of personality, and victory over Nazi Germany in the Great Patriotic War. His opposite number is Trotsky, who stands for Permanent Revolution, proletarian class independence, sectarianism and martyrdom. Trotsky’s superiority, once so self-evident to a certain generation of Western leftists, is no longer secure. That Trotsky valued offense over defense, Western Europe over Eastern, and the pure proletariat over prospective class allies have come to be seen as dogmatic and chauvinist (Korolev). Of the modern-day “class reductionists”, most come from a Trotskyist or quasi-Trotskyist background; [20] hardly any are Marxists-Leninists, since these tend to be woke on the national question at least. Trans people, known for having a fair amount of skin in the game, have often responded positively to a version of Marxism that valorizes “committing to the bit”, i.e. sticking it out and making it work however you can, as opposed to others that valorize armchair quarterbacking and a vision of global revolution that cannot survive but by passing the buck and hoping to get bailed out. [21] In the words of Fred Hampton: “It’s not a question of violence or non-violence, it’s a question of resistance or non-existence.” Transphobia makes trans people feel embattled; feeling embattled makes us sensitive to the need for allies and for grit; those alliances and that grit can’t be sustained without a deontology: killing Nazis has to count for something. That Stalin turns out, on closer inspection, to be a much better Marxist than his reputation suggests is only proof that capitalists are better at identifying threats to capitalism than the Western left is. [22] [emphasis mine]

The third Great Betrayer is Deng Xiaoping. As in the two previous cases, Deng kept something precious alive — “But at what cost??” In his case, at the cost of risking the appearance of detransition. Looks, however, can be deceiving. [emphasis mine] I will argue that trans studies has a stake in understanding Reform and Opening-up on its own terms, as a strategic feint in service of long-term socialist transition.

[...]

A queer reading might revel at the way China’s system seems to combine capitalist and socialist features before universalizing this insight and declaring such categories themselves unstable or outmoded. By contrast, a trans reading must tarry with China’s particularity: after surviving the Cold War through a strange diplomatic maneuver, learning the hard lessons of the Soviet Union, [24] and compromising on all but the essentials of socialist governance, China now stands poised to overtake the capitalist and imperialist West, having secured the well-being of its people (through world-historic anti-poverty campaigns), [25] a commanding lead in the transition to a green future (Hawkins and Cheung, Nace, Margolis, Foster et al.), [26] an unprecedented ability to direct the economy towards political objectives (Koss, McGregor), and the ongoing panicked outrage of both ruling parties in the US (Greve and Gambino). This is the result of long-term strategic thinking, a commitment not only to the spirit of Marxism-Leninism but also to the local quirks and ironies of its implementation, as denoted by the term “Socialism with Chinese Characteristics.”

Trans Marxists know we have particular characteristics. We know that this does not obscure our view of the universal, but sharpens it. We know that dogmatism, insisting on something after it’s been shown not to work, is an impediment to flourishing. And we know that socialism has powerful enemies who have made their hostility to transition abundantly clear, such that not taking them (or their bad faith) into account is a moral abdication. As Valerie Solanas once said (getting at the heart of communist morality): “I consider it immoral that I missed. I should have done target practice” (Third). Just as a trans person makes accommodations to the deeply non-ideal social reality that surrounds them, Really Existing Socialist states have had to make accommodations to a deeply non-ideal situation both at home and abroad. These “zig-zags” are sometimes cited as proof that there is no underlying principle but only rank opportunism at work. But this inference is too hasty — survival has always demanded adaptability, sensitivity to one’s environment. It cannot mean pure theoreticism or book-worship. [emphasis mine] The point of contact between the demands of theory and the demands of practice is strategy. “Strategy” is shorthand for everything that lies at the root of Marxism-Leninism’s theoretical monstrosity, whether this is called totalitarianism, instrumental rationality, teleology, kitsch, or “pragmatism and dogmatism” (Althusser 171). [27] Those who reject Marxism-Leninism take issue with its self-certainty and its philistinism, and the way these can be linked to violence. But another way to say this is simply that Marxists-Leninists have not shied away from wielding state power and have had the gall to really believe they can subordinate the (necessarily imperfect) exercise of that power to the ultimate goal of world communism, i.e. that holding power is not mutually exclusive with being communist. Trans theory that ceases to repress its sympathy for the monster must therefore become unabashedly strategic in its outlook.

[...]

Strategy implies economy and an awareness of both left and right errors (prodigality and miserliness). Trans people don’t have the luxury of acting or theorizing like we’re out of the woods; between here and there lies a long march over treacherous terrain. In these circumstances, it would be as foolish to overestimate our resources as it would be to underestimate them. Trans people already have some critical distance regarding the old saw about the master’s tools never dismantling the master’s house, insofar as embracing the signifiers of a gender opposite the one we were assigned at birth implies taking up tools of questionable provenance. If what it takes to dismantle a house is a bulldozer, I don’t much care who the thing “belongs” to. By the same logic, it is supremely wasteful to disdain tools that have been proven to work. This can be understood in two ways: on the one hand, the revolutionary tradition holds valuable resources that we cannot overlook (including, for example, the ineluctability of the party-form and the necessity of its democracy and centralism); [28] on the other, even our non-revolutionary past holds kernels of rationality that we would be remiss to ignore. Thinking like a monster means seeing like a state, the lumbering quotidian literalness of which is anathema to queer theory. To the trans eye, however, there is not so great a distance between realness (realidad) and royalty (realeza). Safety and freedom for trans people can be won only through the constitution of a more just society, and there is no reason to forswear any of the means traditionally employed for the founding of political orders if we are not ashamed about wanting to do so. That is, as long as we’ve defeated the inner voice that tells us it’s wrong to want such things (since it’s probably just our own servitude we’re pining for anyway, right?). [emphasis mine]

Another salutary effect of sympathizing with the monster is that it helps weaken the association, posited by some reactionaries, between imperialism and LGBTQIA+ rights. If we think (like good Leninists) in terms of continents and epochs, it will soon enough be a very bad look to have carried water for US imperialism. The trans movement, as part of the broader alliance to which it belongs, has a responsibility to follow its best instincts and head off, to whatever extent it can, the linking of “gender ideology” with the cultural, economic, and military bullying that has characterized the West’s relation to the Rest. This means being at the forefront of challenging State Department narratives about official enemies of the US (which trans tankies are already doing). It also means shedding the faux-universalist investments of Western Marxism and understanding internationalism in terms of a mediated rather than immediate unity. Trans people everywhere have a stake in the existence of proletarian power anywhere [29] and must not let ourselves be pied pipered into fighting for our class enemies through ham-fisted and trumped-up identity appeals. What unites anti-imperialism and trans liberation conceptually is their rejection of chauvinism, that is, overidentification with the geographical or biological accidents of one’s birth. [emphasis mine] Practically, our struggles are united by the hard work of keeping in touch, of recognizing each other for what we are and acting accordingly. The protocols we develop for waging this struggle, which include (in trans politics anyway) the principle of self-ID, are meant to help us act collectively in conditions where building trust is costly.

Taking Eastern Marxism at its word, following the Great Betrayers out of the Garden, also, perhaps counterintuitively, brings us closer to Marx (reports of whose innocence have been greatly exaggerated). A scientific approach to the problem of transition from one mode of production to another does not consist in merely condemning the (universal) former and praising the (virtual) latter, but in grasping the material basis for the stubborn persistence of social relations we all know need to go. [emphasis mine] The difficulty of replacing one way of doing things with another is easy to underestimate — toy models abound. Marxists who hold state power are the only ones likely to incur consequences for their model’s lossiness and departure from reality. Marx was an inveterate critic of moralism and utopianism on the left, a legacy that has been inconsistently upheld by his followers. [30] Many of these seem to forget that the commodity form, for example, won’t be abolished overnight; it is a symptom of the current configuration of the productive forces, which must itself be changed, an undertaking rife with troublesome path dependence (Xue 93–121). It is easy enough to demand, say, the abolition of the family or of patriarchy — the much harder job is to figure out how and why these structures have been so successful in reproducing themselves, and to identify which present social tendencies can be aggravated that will undermine the conditions for their reproduction. For trans studies to become properly materialist, this analytical program must be conjoined to the political one of winning consensus and hegemony for gender liberation, since “theory also becomes a material force [only] once it has gripped the masses” (Marx). [emphasis mine]

I leave to others the question of whether this circuitous return to Marx evinces a “longing for a father figure”. How about longing for states? Yes, guilty, I think the proletariat should have state power — is that controversial? [emphasis mine] As to the “crudely religious attitude”, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. [31] We all have moral ideas about who’s good and bad, what’s helpful and harmful, and which evils most urgently need opposing. The idea that there is any part of the Marxist tradition that is uniquely lacking in this trait, whether it be for good — i.e. the self-flattery of those who consider themselves the only true non-moralists — or for ill — i.e. the nihilism that is often projected onto the bad object Marxism-Leninism — is delusional at best, racist at worst. A better argument, something more than name-calling, would try to account for the outsize appeal of “Stalinism” among trans people, and perhaps connect this trend to its expression in the dispute between queer and trans theory. This I have tried to do. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

[thefoxtherapist]

*looks at your username then at aalto* yk.... I feel like I should have realized the fact foxes are your favorite animals lmao 😭

Anyways... Scar my beloved. As weird of a guy he is, probably the best emotional support you will get lmao💀

(Scar definitely gets cuteness aggression often. Like if you own a pet, yk the moment when you just wanna shake them and squish them but in like an affectionate way? Yeah, Scar would do that to you)

Mortefi not caring is king behavior. Now I thought of something silly. Reader could turn like into a whole monster and mortefi would just be chill with it like it's an everyday happening. (I believe mortefi has the worst sweet tooth btw, yes this one was random)

The Aalto one made me chuckle lmao. He's such a loser I love him. Ofc he thought reader is edgy, he has thinkin from experience. You cannot tell me Aalto didn't have some very extravagant phase while growing up. (Also I'm betting and ice cream he's scared of bugs)

Now to ramble on, just because this days I feel like talking too much 💀

Do you draw? Do you maybe have an art work you would like to share with the class about your oc?

Or maybe anything ya could tell about them?

I'm just a curious fellow who loves oc talk 😔

I would show mine if I wasn't a coward anon and also if it wouldn't be a bother lmao 💀

LISTEN I'M ONLY A LITTLE BIT PREDICTABLE OKAY!! (my other fav is Calcharo btw. I'm just. a dogboy guy, I guess. help)

RIGHT?! Scar is borderline fetishistic about it but he's really just like. genuinely hyped. He would loooooooooveeeeee his partner's scars, its probably his favourite thing on a partner. no matter how major or minor. Dude is THERE for it.

AND I AGREE? omg the cuteness aggression.

Scar couldn't help it, taking your cheeks in his clawed gloved hands. Mismatched eyes stared into yours before scrunching up slightly, grin wide and obvious.

"You're just soo cute~ Just.." He leaned forward, gently nipping the tip of your nose. "Edible! Biteable, even." The Overseer giggled in a tone you could not place except for possibly, crazed.

The way your nose scrunched up didn't stop him from squishing your cheeks with his hands, cooing at you when you did your best to puff them. Scar couldn't help but start grazing his sharp teeth all over your skin.

-

MORTEFI MY BELOVED HE'S SO FUNNY TO ME

Mortefi entered the room, rubbing his jaw as the familiar sensation of a lack of sweets affected him. It wasn't real, he knew that! But it didn't stop the feeling of strain in his mouth.

Your name fell from his lips, "do you know if we have any more chocolate bars?" But the doctor paused, surveying the less than human form in front of him. He blinked once, then sighed.

"That isn't very helpful in my search.." The man turned around, making a beeline for the kitchen. He would find his chocolate bars, and he would deal with what was clearly his lover in some monstrous form later.

-

Aalto is just Some Guy of all time to me. Like I know he's sneaky, and he's definitely got intimacy and commitment issues, and not to mention his upbringing was likely abusive given from what we know of his voicelines about his father. But he's just A DUDE. He has no reason to believe theres another reason so, yeah! You're just edgy. Until you aren't.

I really think Aalto in his teenager years had a private detective phase. Noir clothes and all. It's what led him to the path he's chosen<3 in my heart. Oh and his dad died and trying to find an identity was really hard for him.

Aalto's scream could be heard throughout the base you and your fellow Black Shores members had taken up in. You ran into the room, hitting the door as you slid in, weapon at the ready. But you lowered it when you saw the man.

Aalto was only in a towel, grey hair loose and fluffy around his face. But notably, he was standing on the closed toilet, fear visible on his face. You looked around, trying to find what he was screaming about. Your eyes landed on a spider beside the running shower head.

"I went in and it just appeared!! Babe, kill it!" You sighed, setting your weapon on the counter. You looked around, grabbing some toilet paper and rolling it up. You then leaned up from the bathroom floor, crushing the poor spider.

"I got it, wuss."

-

No I don't draw I've just written a bunch about him :broken_heart: but I'm on a waitlist for one of my favourite artists so mid August I should have art of him that I can share! To nobody's surprise, he is a foxboy.

As for information about him, his name is Esen! He's a Black Shores member, and an Aero Resonator. I really really loved the idea of there being animals with resonance abilities, and even before the current story I was toying with "what if there was second awakenings? why not right?" (looks into camera)

Anyways Esen is a vulpecula(made up in my brain), a vulpes adjacent creature. But he was taken from his home at a young age and ultimately experimented on for the purpose of testing on animals with resonance abilities. This caused a second awakening that forced him into a human form.

He doesn't have much memory of when he was a vulpecula, he just remembers the lab for the most part. I have like a fuck ton of lore written out, voicelines, forte report, ect.

but tldr: He's a funky funny lil hacker guy who upon escaping containment got caught up in a lot of shady shit as a "consultant" for criminals. He caught the eye of the Black Shores, they captured him for an interrogation. Then he stole all their data and tried to escape the island.

It did not succeed, but he was offered a job!

I LOVE LOVE ocs, I'm always happy to talk about mine, or yours, or anyones. So pleaaase tell me about yours I'm so curious!!

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 3 Tatarigoroshi pt. 8

Chapter seven starts out in a pretty morose state. Our guy Keiichi is wracked with guilt and plans to try to save Satoko from the horrible situation she's in. I know they've shown a bit to illustrate that yes, it's a bad scene, but I was amused by the idea of Keiichi would go to visit Satoko's uncle and it turns out he's just the nicest guy, and Satoko was being dramatic. Instead of living with you know, the ugly bastard tag.

Keiichi during this part is doing the one thing Mion told him not to do. He's more or less treating this Satoko situation like he's trying to steal and hideaway a cat from his parents. Eventually though the visual novel moves on.

Rude. You're not exactly a gem yourself Keiichi.

He's alive! He wasn't eaten by a lion off-screen after all! Also I completely forgot I had switched to the remake art, which would eventually lead to a terrifying discovery.

Ehhhhhh

Sure would suck if you died for a third time Tomitake. You're this series' Rudolph I've decided, you never get to live very long in the plot.

Back to the console art. Also let's talk some more about the curse why not.

Ara ara, says the nightmare fetishist. I like the way Takano looks in the remake art versus the console art. I can't really justify way, she just looks better.

Bail out Keiichi, Oyashiro's one thing, but Santa?

She seems to know a lot more about what's going on than she lets on huh? It'll get to the final chapter and it'll just be fourteen hours of her expositing to Keiichi about how the Freemasons are behind it all.

I can't help but feel like she might be intentionally screwing with him. Clearly she knows more than she should about the secret goings-on with the cult of Oyashiro, but it feels like she's intentionally toying with Keiichi.

"I know who killed Laura Palmer. It can wait until the morning." *the next morning* "Agent Cooper, who killed Laura Palmer?" "I don't remember." How them balls doing? They sufficiently blue? During the scene with Takano and Tomitake I was looking at the options menu for the game. I had seen someone else's screen shot that had the console art style but it had the full screen text covering it like what the mangagamer remake and Ryukishi original do. So I wanted to see if I liked that any better. The text boxes on the bottom are fine, but Because of Umineko and the first chapter of Higurashi I was feeling nostalgic for the full text covering the screen (similar to the log screenshots I use). It was there I made a most distressing discovery. But first.

Keiichi does seem like the kind of dope who would kidnap someone to "help them" doesn't he?

Keiichi and Mion are called to the teacher's office to discuss what they might know about this Satoko business.

The teacher is onto them! Also

I've had access to the original art this whole time! I was completely unaware until I hit F1 and ruined my day entirely. I didn't take screenshots of Tomitake and Takano in the potato art style, but they were there, I just wanted to deny its existence a while longer.

[transmascpetewentz]

Syscourse jumpscare

While I normally don't post syscourse on this account, I felt the need to add to a conversation that's been happening recently (and one that's been ongoing for a while) regarding the term "sysmed" and its usage.

So, a little bit about my system that I rarely talk about on here: we're a polyfragmented DID system. I have been the host since about April, and I don't know most of the other system members very well. We have varying views on endogenic systems, leaning towards pro. I still haven't really decided what I think about this whole debate. Either way, we all can agree on the fact that the term "sysmed" is transphobic.

Transmedicalism isn't just "when people think you can't be trans without dysphoria." Transmedicalism, more than being a belief or a set of beliefs, is a societal attitude about transness and about gender as a whole. Modern transmedicalism is an intracommunity issue, but it is rooted in "science" such as the debunked theories of Blanchard. The difference, however, between Blanchard's "science" and the science around systems, is that Blanchard's "science" is complete bullshit. The gap between FTM "HSTS transsexuals" and "autohomoerotic transsexuals" is almost nonexistent because this "science" is based entirely on the stereotype that transness exists for sexual reasons.

Modern transmedicalism, while it harms everyone in the trans community, is mainly straight gender conforming transmascs trying to weaponize heterosexuality and gender conformity against femmes, gay transmascs, and other non-straight transmascs. Being feminine or attracted to men is seen as a sign of "trending," just like the debunked homophobic idea that being attracted to men made you a fetishist of male homosexuality before it. The history of transmedicalism cannot be divorced from this "science," which is something I've spoken about previously.

To compare this history to anti-endos being mean online is transphobic on so many levels. Anti-endos being mean online aren't what cause young gay trans men to hate themselves for not being attracted to women. Anti-endos being mean online don't spread an ideology that gets you denied T if you show any interest in men. Anti-endos being mean online are not in any way comparable to the severe, irreversible harm that the idea of autohomoeroticism has done to the gay trans male community.

Before the 1980s, there were not even words to describe us, because people didn't know we even existed. Those of us that lived before then just called themselves faggots. So many of our brothers lived their whole lives never realizing there was anyone else like them. The simple truth of the matter is that we live in a world that tries to erase our existence at every point it can, and this erasure is something that shapes how each and every one of us views and interacts with society.

Anti-endos being mean online, while I do not want to minimize the harm they can cause, did not do this. Anti-endos being mean online are traumatized people taking it out on the wrong demographic. They are not continuously silencing a group of people who have been subject to invisible violence for hundreds of years only to be written off as fetishists when people realized that we exist.

Obviously, transmedicalists are not the cause of gay trans men's oppression, and we have more in common with straight trans men than we are different. But transmedicalists are people who have fallen for some of these dangerous ideas, among others, that are rooted in gay trans men's oppression. Anti-endos being mean online are not directly contributing to oppression that is in any way comparable to this.

When I see systems who are cis or not planning to transition bodily use "sysmed" to describe anti-endos being mean, I can't help but be hurt. However valid your argument may be, if you do not experience transphobia, our suffering is not your gotcha. Our oppression is not a hypothetical "[x] is bad so everything that's bad is [x]." We are real people and our voices matter. Allow us to do the talking when it comes to our issues.

Anti-endos aren't off the hook either. If you are cis and you call a trans system transphobic for usage of "sysmed," that is not okay, and you are transphobic. If a trans system is using sysmed, I will still disagree with their usage of the word, but that is for trans people to discuss and sort out amongst ourselves. No matter how good your intentions may be, that is simply not your place.

If you're a trans system (traumagenic or otherwise) and disagree with anything I've said, feel free to reply to this post so we can discuss! This post is directed at cis systems and systems who do not experience transphobia in their daily lives. A system that does experience transphobia regularly who uses "sysmed" is very different from a system who does not who uses the term, and I guess that's the main point here.

[sleepingdeath-light]

Re: an anonymous hate message I just received

as a forewarning for anyone who might read this, below the cut are some pretty awful statements and foul language directed towards me from this anonymous individual. these accusations are why i’m placing my full response under the cut.

but as a tl;dr — someone says awful and upsetting things, death is rightfully upset.

I’m also assuming that this individual is coming from the ‘toh’ fandom based on their statements — which is incredibly disappointing but oh well.

This is the complete message, which I will be breaking down and responding to point by point — so you can see that I’m not editing it to mince anon’s words.

now let’s get on to the breakdown.

————

INTRODUCTION

I’m sure that I don’t need to tell anyone that this isn’t a good way of introducing your point. Right? If anon is trying to get me on their side or show themselves to be a sympathetic or genuinely concerned person then this is going about it the wrong way entirely. You’re immediately presenting yourself as antagonistic and making yourself not likeable as a speaker.

But don’t worry it gets worse.

————

POINT ONE

They’re not real people, anon, they’re fictional characters. It’s effectively the same as when you take two dolls and make them kiss (as I’m sure most kids did at some point).

I draw the line at rpf or at sexual fiction of characters played by real children/real minors because that’s way too far. For example, smut of the IT (2017?) cast is vile to me in concept and execution.

What you’re talking about is me writing about drawings — lines/pixels with a voice actor — being in sexual situations. Fictional characters can be aged up because they’re, by definition, not real.

And besides you’re definitely in the minority opinion here as the vast majority of requests in my inbox are for hunter. Don’t you think that says something?

————

POINT TWO

Ah yes, non-con. That old beast. Its a dead dove topic and whenever I or another writer in my circle depicts it, it’s done with plenty of explicit warnings about the contents therein.

Again this is fictional content we’re talking about. Dark fiction has always been a thing and will always be a thing.

I’m taking a literature course at uni and we discuss media depicting rape and worse regularly because it’s part of literature. Writing about something doesn’t mean the writer condones that act and you shouldn’t make assumptions of character based on what someone writes.

That’s like critical media analysis 101 — you sound like you’d go after whump writers and call them murder fetishists or something lol. You’re just really not helping your case AT ALL.

Fiction is fiction; repeat until you understand that principle.

————

POINT THREE

Anon has a good point here, actually! Like their phrasing was terrible and accusatory, but if they’d led with this I’d probably be open to discussion. But burying it beneath two accusations and two insults (at minimum) isn’t going to make someone want to actually discuss the error of the system they’re using.

Of course I’m aware that people lie on the internet. I’m not an idiot — we’ve all clicked on the ‘yes I’m 18+’ pop up on dodgy sites before. I’m also aware that most smart minors will lie about their age to begin with because putting anything smaller than ‘18’ in your bio/pinned is basically a bright flashing neon sign shouting that this person is easy prey for a nonce or something along those lines.

Similarly the use of anon is dodgy and the trust system I use with requesters can easily be taken advantage of.

But what you’re incorrect about is that if I have proof of someone telling me that they’re an adult then I will not be at fault for what happens. If a minor lies to get access to an adult space and gets hurt, then that minor is liable for their own hurt — which is unfortunate but inevitable.

I’m not going to force people to give me their government issued I.Ds because I’m not a complete nutter. That would be dangerous for everyone involved and also probably doxxing. Which is, again, a big no-no.

So for as unfortunately dumb as it is, I’m going to be sticking with the honour system for requests for now. If I find a better, safer way then I’ll use that — but as we don’t have that yet, I’ll use what I’ve got available to me.

Thanks for pointing it out though! Like genuinely this is the only good part of this message lol.

————

SEND OFF

You’re already accusing me of being a nonce mate — and over fiction, at that. And to add to it all you didn’t have the gonads to do it off-anon, which is unfortunate but inevitable of this sort of person. And besides you know nothing of my tastes and attractions based on the requests I write.

To be perfectly frank out of all the characters from TOH, I’m only attracted to Belos and Alador. Most of the ‘characters’ that I end up attracted to are played by people much older than me and, also, not cartoons! Like most slashers, the avengers, and hell even Pierce Brosnan in Black Addam lol.

But that’s irrelevant. You shouldn’t come in to random people’s ask boxes accusing them of horrible things and speaking so cruelly. And if you ever do this in the future I’d recommend having the confidence in your statements to do it off anon. Or admit that your opinions are clearly in the minority.

Oh! And as a final note: no this wasn’t ignored and deleted, you got a full response. But you’re right that I don’t care, because you’re spouting complete and utter nonsense.

But oh well, since you want to be deleted so bad, I hope you enjoy your block. Have a wonderful day, anon. I hope you learn to be a better person : )

And to anyone that’s read this far: thank you for your time. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day /gen. ^^

[lewdladylily]

so it looks like hypnosis can be a productivity/motivation boost? i'm kinda interested in that, but i've no desire in doing the sexual aspect of it (bc ace); do you think it could still work with these stipulations? -öé

Absolutely, but there are a few things to understand. The biggest is that hypnosis is not exactly a science. What works for you is going to be different from what works for me. It's seriously also not a substitute for any sort of medical help, physical or mental. It is a supplement at best. For me, it can get me past the last speed bump, so to speak, to be able to concentrate better or overcome executive dysfunction.

Also, you are almost certainly going to need a trusted partner willing to do this with you. Its possible to hypnotize yourself or use resources that don't involve anyone else, but it isn't easy or as effective. It doesn't need to be one way, by the way, you could trade off hypnotizing each other, so that does help.

Also, being hypnotized and allowing this sort of suggestion to influence you is a learned skill, and though you can see some effect early on and those effects can be dramatic, shaping your triggers and suggestions to what you really want them to be with the effectiveness you want will take many, many hours of work and practice from both the subject and the hypnotist. The ease at which I can switch into different modes to overcome things like executive dysfunction took a long time to learn

That all said, there is no reason it couldn't work. Hypnotism is not inherently sexual, sex is just a very powerful motivator to do that necessary work, and unless you are a hypnofetishist there are very few people willing to do something this weird.

Its like, the experience of pretending to be a puppy, kitten, or similar is fun and cathartic. But very few people do it because it is "weird". It's pretty much just fetishists, little children, and furries - all groups who tend to ignore the mainstream sensibilities on what is weird, cringy, or even deviant behavior when deciding what they want to do. That's where you need to be if you want to get into hypnosis. Maybe your reason for breaking away from standard accepted behavior and motivation to continue sinking effort into that isn't sex, but you'll probably need a reason beyond the eventual hope that it might help you deal with executive dysfunction better.

Basically, if you want to do this, you are going to have to learn to have fun with it, or at least get something else out of it that makes you excited to do it. And there are plenty of non sexual reasons! I mean, the utter relaxation of a trance is worth it alone in my opinion. The enhancement to non sexual petplay could be another motivator, honestly pet play (even without sex) is something everyone should try once just to see if they like it.

Now, using hyposis in a practical sense is a bit more involved. I'll break down how it has worked for me, including for writing this week. In this case, I overcome executive dysfunction and anxiety difficulties by using a dronfication command then receiving orders from an outside source. As a drone I don't stop thinking necessarily, but I have very little impulse to think or do anything of my own will. I've happily sat staring at a wall for 15 minutes in something like a standby mode, waiting for more input, or repeating an assigned phrase over and over and over.

If the drone mode is working right, and it doesn't always work right, the dronification command allows me to feel as if I am a tool being used by others, decoupling the connection between my own motivation and decision making process and what I think and do, instead handing it to someone else, externalizing most sense of decision making and motivation. In essence, the suggestion is I become a robot who does nothing but obeying commands, and is incapable of doing much without those commands. I do and think what I am told, nothing more, nothing less - if I start acting autonomously, the suggestion starts to break.

Fortunately, I have a great deal of leeway in how I perform a task, because I am a thinking robot. I am ordered to write, I will write. But I will also go get water to make sure I am hydrated, I will go to the bathroom, I will make sure I get snacks as needed, because all those things are helpful to writing. However, at the end of my task I tend to just stop. If the suggestion is still in strong enough force, I will not choose a new task or activity of my own volition. I am good at breaking out of the suggestion as needed, but I might end up staring at a wall for ten minutes before I realize "hey, I should probably stop being a drone". There are solutions to this end point problem of course, like leaving behind an exit trigger for me to find once I am done with my task.

So you can see how if you are not into the idea of dronification, it might be hard to implement a dronification mode because your mind will fight it, not embrace it. You will need to find the imagery and methodology that works for you to achieve the effects you want, and find a motivation to do it. You are not just going to have to be ok with cringe and weird, you are going to have to embrace it and make it part of you. I strongly suggest (sexual or non sexual) pet play and/or becoming a furry as onboarding because they complement hypnosis so well. They feed back on each other and strengthen each other very well. Pretending to be a puppy is fun, but when you feel compelled to bark instead of speak, your mind is clouded except excitably puppy thoughts, and it feels more right to crawl on all fours instead of walk it is a completely different experience.

Now, as far as non sexual hypnosis resources, I haven't a clue. I am firmly in this for sexual reasons, the other benefits are side benefits. And even then I barely scratched the surface in terms of how to learn to do this stuff, I was basically trained by Raven and I have no real idea where she got her ideas and knowledge. All my knowledge is from her, and while I have some experience as a hypnotist I've never started with a rookie subject. I'm happy to explain more about my own development in hypnosis if you think that might help.

[otteroflore]

mlp opinions under cut

read a post online that was someone who didn't like g4 but liked g5 mlp and I decided to watch some clips and... woof that was bad.

theres a lot of subjectivity to the mlp style and aesthetics but for me what it boils down to is that the g5 ponies look like someone looked at g4 and made it 3D, as opposed to looking at an actual pony. I've seen people criticize g4 for being too cartoony and not looking enough like horses, but if you look at the development drawings you can tell that a lot of work was put into stylizing them in a specific way.

I kind of feel like g1 had that too, you can see how the ponies are stylized off real ponies, and then g3 has a similar problem to g5 where it feels more based off of the previous cartoons than looking at a real horse.

Anyways, that all isn't inherently a problem, it's a cartoon and highly stylized. I watched the g5 movie when it came out and it was fine, a little boring tbh but the ponies were okay, I like how they have realistic hair and their bodies look fuzzy. I really don't like how skinny they are, like the chibi body + big head was cuter in g4 when it was a 2D cartoon but looks bizarre as a 3D object to me

which segues into my other thing which is... the pony toys from the new generation are the ugliest in all of my little ponydom, and i didnt even like g4's toys much but they were like half a step above. i cannot get over how bad their bodies are.

when i was a kid i took an all-ages art class on how to draw a horse, and the 2 things i took away from it were: you start by drawing a bean shape for the body, and a circle with a rectangle as the face

like 99% of horses boil down to this shape

regardless of other anatomical (leg) errors, this is how g1 looked

this was true of the animation too, you can generally see a divot in their back

are the characters from mlp g4 cartoony? yes, but

despite shrinking both THE BEAN and the nose, its like the same shape, simplified.

every single one of the g5 toys has no bean, their body like... narrows at the waist so much which is so bizarre to me. but its like theyre allergic to giving it a curved shape so its just all flat lines. and i find the hooves so much more disturbing when detailed because none of the rest of it is anatomically accurate so WHY did they add more detail there. its the very epitome of that meme about fetishists drawing extremely detailed feet.

besides that, the head is placed?? ?at the center of the neck?? presumably to help them stand up because their back half is so skinny but it just looks hideous. the eyes are closer together and the face generally flatter so they look more "Anthro" from the front- g4 had them on model from the side instead, so if you looked at the front of the face their eyes would be far apart, but it would be more like how a horse has eyes on the sides of their head:

im not 100% on this but it also looks weirdly like the g5 hair was just put on top of the head, every g5 pony ive seen doesn't have a many, just like a ponytail at the top. the g4 ponies dont have hair all the way down their backs, but its far enough that it falls naturally like a mane.

also i for some reason cannot get this image comparizon out of my head. they dont look that similar, i think its the colors mostly, but once seen i cannot unsee.

anyways i hate these dolls so much, ive stared at them for too long. i was going to complain about how the voice acting in the show is extremelyy rough, the songs are all pop songs, the animation of the mouth is bizarre, the animation of the body is unnaturally fluid and anatomically bizarre, but ive ranted too much already. byeeee

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Death Walks on High Heels (Ercoli, 1971)

Pleasantly caught off guard by the humour. They movie turns into a lightly comedic police procedural in its second half, and we get such scenes as the cops sobering a man up by slapping him until he throw up, trying to push open a sliding gate, only catching the killer when a bystander conveniently asks an incriminating question when they’re about to haul the wrong man off to prison, and letting the killer pull the most obvious trick in the book to escape. Oh, and there’s the scene where they try to test some hypothesis about bodily decomposition, which includes making the junior cop tie himself up, which takes a long time, and then immediately have to untie himself. The senior cop does not help.

This was made back to back with Death Walks at Midnight, with which it shares some key cast members. I found that this one had fewer lulls but the other finished stronger and probably had a stronger sense of shoot composition, although this still looks very good. Like that movie, the attempts to provide a conventional crime plot explanation prove unconvincing in light of the fetishistic charge of the material. The fact that the wife and mistress look so much alike. The matching boots. The sexually charged scenes of violence.

Also like that movie, Nieves Navarro has such beautiful hair that it’s all the funnier when they stick her with such awful wigs and ‘dos. And as a straight man I certainly won’t complain about the amount of nudity in this movie, although some of that comes at the cost of a really… questionable striptease routine.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

dont have aspd but i like never had emotional empathy growing up (yay mix of autism and childhood situations that caused me to unlearn/block off emotional empathy) and i've never felt remorse and i only get small twinges of guilt i can easily brush aside, but i watched drrr at age 17 and showed it to my family and having all of em be like "yo ur just like izaya" (my mum was like "yeah if i hadnt been super careful how i raised u, 100% u would've turned out worse than izaya" which. uh considering before izaya the chara i related most to was azula from atla. fun to hear). and it me caused me to be like "oh shit maybe i should like learn empathy". i didnt realise i had cognitive empathy or that it was even a thing so i spent a few years teaching myself emotional empathy and man it suuuucks. worst decision i ever made. now i spend time being like upset for other ppl? when i used to just, be able to intellectually understand things sucked for them and help em out w/o feeling anything and so i wasnt emotionally bothered/drained afterwards. whereas now i like, spend time crying over other ppl? exhausting and terrible. it hasnt improved me as a person at all, im dont actually care abt things any more than i used to, and i think cognitive empathy is by far the most useful and practical out of the two. im not saying u shouldnt listen to ur therapist, i just kinda wanted to get that off my chest and not be judged?

WANNA MAKE CLEAR i am not judging u i just have always always always wanted to use this meme for as long as i have known of its existence

and what ur describing is literally exactly why i worry abt emotional empathy and feeling remorse like. maybe i'm fine existing this way. maybe i don't want to be fixed!! i get that itd make me more palatable and easier to get along with or whatever but i'm a person too!! what about me?? everyone will have conflict at some point; what about me makes it so that all chances of that need to be hammered down?? i'm a person too- what about what i feel is right for my own emotional state???

fun facts my fiance liked me partly because i reminded him of izaya. idk if you know enough of my blog to know my Lore but: he knew me for a day thru roleplaying and i wanted to know him outside of a rp context, and he was talking abt liking psychology. i then challenged him to diagnose me, yaknow As You Do, and in a Public Server he went "oh you have aspd, don't you?" totally innocently, he had no idea abt the stigma

i ofc denied it because i wanted him to like me and also was sixteen, but oddly enuf the aspd traits are (partly) Why He Liked Me??? not in a fetishistic way but just like, accepting that was part of my personality that doesnt need to be hammered out and like, not acting like Total Full Remission It's Like It Was Never Even There is the only end goal worth chasing like. maybe i dont wanna fully remiss maybe thats my choice and i have fuckin, command over my own god damned mind body and life!!!???

also fwiw: i dont know the rest of your symptoms but you having autism and the symptoms coming from trauma don't negate the possibility that it's aspd so id suggest looking into it more! even if a therapist said you didnt have it, they can be kinda..... stupid about aspd lmfao! don't look on quora and don't look on reddit nothing good lies behind those walls