#but. gestures. idk. anyway i'm making myself shut up now and going back to the mines (google docs)

[azems-familiar]

having an intense moment of "why am i even putting forth all the effort to write this 30k+ word fic when only one person is going to care about it and that person already knows everything that happens" tonight (not helped by the last 30k word fic i put out getting 9 kudos and one singular comment) and trying to remind myself that i write because i like writing, because there are stories i want to tell and that even if i'm only telling them to myself it's still worthwhile

but also. it's a struggle when part of why i write and post things is because i want to connect with other people through telling stories and making them feel things the way the stories i read make me feel things, and when there's no evidence that people connect with the things i write....ugh. it gets to feeling pointless

i know. i know. and i won't let depression or anxiety prevent me from doing one of the only hobbies i still can participate in, and the creative outlet i've had for years. tonight is just...being very ugh about it. maybe because the scene i'm working on is being very tricky and a struggle to get through right now and i only have the aforementioned one single person to hype it.

[rogue-durin-16]

YOU DRIVE ME MAD

Summary: Fred's and Y/n's silly rivalry may have more to do with love than with hate; after a fatal incident, some confessions are made.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags:

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa

Warnings: brief mention of violence, blood, language (this seems a lot darker than it is lmao)

A/N: idk man I just love this idiot so here it comes another oneshot. The reader's house is not specified btw. Enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Fred spotted me and walked to stand near me before asking jokingly "On your way to kill a man, Y/n?" Oh, little did he know.

"what is that?!" I exclaimed at the sight of my friend's bruised arm.

"uhm... Nothing."

"who did that to you?" I knew the answer before I even got it. My friend had gone to break up with that Cormac McLaggen the previous night; she had finally listened to us and ended that toxic relationship they had, but apparently she got a souvenir from it.

"It's fine- he didn't mean to- Y/n don't do anything stupid." Too late, I saw red.

"I don't have time for your bullshit, Weasley." I curtly replied bumping his shoulder while I walked past him, making his smile drop in confusion. I never missed the opportunity to start a playful argument with him, but, as I had said, I didn't have time for that.

With the corner of my eye, I saw him joining my friends in the task of trailing after me.

I spotted the bastard chatting with his friends in the middle of the hallway that led to the Great Hall. "Oi, McLaggen!"

"Evening, Y/l/n." That filthy grin vanished from his face when I kicked him in the balls, triggering some gasps from our peers and a grunt of pain from him.

"Listen carefully, you loathsome pig." I leaned over to be eye to eye with him. "If you dare to lay a finger on my friend again— if you even think about it— I'll become your personal nightmare." I stood upright again, his eyes full of hate and rage following my movements. "You don't deserve a bloody warning, but I'm a generous woman." Poison dripped off my tongue, my eyes throwing daggers at him as I stepped back and turned around.

My eyes met Fred's worried ones while I made my way to my friends; they surely had told him enough for the ginger to know this was no time for joking and teasing.

His gaze then flickered behind me with panic and I realized a tad too late I shouldn't have turned my back to McLaggen; at the end of the day, pride overpowered honour in a lot of Gryffindors.

I spun around, grabbing my wand from my pocket, but I wasn't fast enough; before I knew what was happening, Fred was in front of me, serving as a human shield from the jinx.

The unknown spell hit his back and propelled us in my friends' direction. I was quickly on my knees, sitting Fred up and earning a grunt in the process, which I initially thought was caused by the fall. "Are you mental?!" My friend casted an Expelliarmus at the younger Gryffindor, long forgotten due to Fred's actions.

"My back— AH!" He yelped when I tried to pull him up.

"OI!" A first year who had made his way to the first row of students frantically gestured at Fred's back. "He's bleeding!!"

"What?!" I made him lean on me to take a look at his white shirt, now stained with blood. What I thought to be a harmless jinx turned out to be fatal.

"He's not supposed to be bleeding!" Cormac shouted, as panicked as I was.

One of my friends said something about going to look for George while the others shoot off to look for Madam Pomfrey.

"I'm gonna kill him..." Fred mumbled through gritted teeth, his voice shaky and weak. He felt so fragile in my arms, and I couldn't help the tears stinging my eyes.

"Fred—" his hands, which had been gripping my forearms, lost strength as the boy's body relaxed. "For fuck's sake don't fall asleep."

"... 'm trying..."

"FREDDIE!" His twin brother rushed to us, falling on his knees by his brother's side.

"I'm sorry." McLaggen had walked to us, keeping a safe distance.

"YOU'RE DEAD MCLAGGEN!" George stood up before I could stop him. Luckily for everyone, Madam Pomfrey showed up.

"Oh Lord! Mister Weasley, quick! Help me with your brother!" The Healer commanded, and soon they were pulling Fred off my grasp and rushing to the infirmary.

I was left in the middle of the hallway with my friends showering me with worried questions and reassurance.

What the fuck had just happened?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

During dinner, several girls and a couple of boys came to congratulate me for kicking McLaggen's balls, and it would have been a lot more satisfactory if Fred Weasley hadn't stepped in the middle.

As soon as I finished my meal, I headed to the infirmary through the now quiet halls, only to find there were too many people visiting.

Of course, George was there, along with their younger siblings and Lee Jordan, but in front of them stood Professor Flitwick, Professor McGonagall and none other than Cormac McLaggen himself.

"—already told you it wasn't for you!"

"How is that an apology, Mister McLaggen?" McGonagall scolded him, refraining herself from hitting the boy herself.

"You better fucking run, McLaggen, because the moment I can step out of this bed I swear on Godric I will—"

"Enough, Mister Weasley!" I almost pitied the poor woman. Her House was probably the most problematic. "All of you must go to your dormitories, Mister Weasley needs to rest." I stood on the entrance of the room, unsure of whether I should leave or enter, until Flitwick's eyes landed on my form. He redirected McGonagall's attention to me, and I felt the need of shying away. "Miss Y/l/n," I didn't miss the failed attempt of Fred to move; luckily, he was stopped by his sister. "I suppose you wanted to pay a visit?"

"Uhm... I did, Professor." I confessed, fidgeting with the sleeves of my robe. "I know it's late—"

"Don't take too long." She spoke, motioning everyone to follow her. "Curfew is still at 10." She reminded me in a warning tone, passing by.

As soon as they were out, I made my way to Fred, who lay on his stomach in one of the beds, the sheets only covering his legs an hips in order to avoid the clothing chaffing his damaged skin.

"You have a heart after all, huh?" He teased once I stood in front of him.

"How are you?" He frowned at my genuine question; the ginger surely expected me to make a witty comeback, but again, it didn't seem the time.

"A tad better." He gave me a reassuring half smile, deciding to drop our banter for a night. "Flitwick said he used a stinging jinx but casted it wrong." Fred huffed. "A bloody tosser."

He motioned at the chair behind me and I sat down, scooting closer to the bed. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he had jumped in front of me. It had hit his back, but I knew it was meant to hit my face —what a mess that would have been—, and I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"It's not on you." I felt my face flaring up at the ease with which he saw through me. I wasn't the first time he did that, but it was the first time he didn't use it to tease me.

"I know, I just—" I sighed. "I don't know." Though my sight was casted down, I still felt his worried gaze on me. "I'm gonna murder him."

"I reckon George will overtake us both on that." He tried to laugh but ended up in a since instead. "Or Gin. Maybe they'll team up with Ron and we'll find a corpse in the Gryffindor common room tomorrow." This time it was me who laughed. "How's your friend?"

"She'll be alright." I informed, distracting myself with a loose string at the hem of my skirt.

"And you?" I met his eyes with a hum leaving my mouth. "How are you?"

"Been better." I confessed.

Silence.

"Can you pass me the water?" I nodded, holding the glass in front of him and putting the straw in his mouth so he could take a couple of sips. "Thanks."

"No worries."

Silence again.

"Did you eat something?"

He scrunched his nose. "Not really."

"I'll go grab something from the kitchens." I didn't get far before his long fingers wrapped around my wrist.

"I'd rather have you here keeping my company." I then sat down again, his fingers only leaving my wrist to intertwin with mines. "I'm not hungry anyway."

More silence.

"Your hand is really soft." I reckon those words involuntarily escaped his lips by the way his eyes widened. "I don't know why I said that."

"Yours is too, surprisingly."

"Surprisingly?" He quirked an eyebrow at me, and I didn't quite realise what his grin was about until I spoke again.

"I imagined they'd be more rough." Oh no. "That came out wrong— I meant—"

"That you've imagined what my hands would feel like?" He was trying to bite back a laugh at the way my face turned red.

"No!"

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Liar."

There we went again; the white flag was out.

"Fuck you."

"Please." My cheeks turned even redder, and I wanted to think it was because of the anger. "You look really cute when you blush."

"You look really cute when you keep your mouth shut."

"Then shut me, love." He wiggled his brows at me.

"I would, but I don't wanna punch you in this state."

"You're very agressive." He pointed out, shocked that I didn't get what he was implying. "I meant with a kiss."

"Ew-" I pretended to gag. "no!"

He tugged on my hand and pulled me to my knees falling right in front of his eyes with our faces inches away. "C'mon Y/l/n, we're dragging this on now." His eyes kept falling on my mouth after I had unconsciously chewed on my lower lip.

"We're... We're not dragging on anything." I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.

"Do you want me to start? Alright, you drive me mad." He forced his gaze to be fixed on mine. "You're annoying, rude and a pain in the arse." I huffed. "But you're also quick-witted and caring and brave." Gosh I hated how easily he made me blush. "Sometimes I want to punch you in that pretty face of yours but other times— most of the times— all I wanna do is kiss you." His thumb caressed the back of my hand. "Hell, I threw myself between you and that blonker without thinking twice!"

He raised his eyebrows, silently prompting me to say something, but I just didn't know what to say.

"Miss Y/l/n," Madam Pomfrey called, making me let go of Fred's hand an stood up. "It's almost ten o'clock! Let Mister Weasley rest." I nodded, not even looking in Fred's direction as I exited the infirmary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

The morning after the incident, Dean and Neville dragged in an unrecognisable McLaggen; they were probably the only ones who cared about that bloke enough to take him to Madam Pomfrey, though they did it half-heartedly.

I was discharged after three days in, right before lunch, and obviously, I was received as a hero; several people came to praise my bravery or ask how I was feeling, but I just wanted to see one person.

That night in the infirmary I was sure she felt the same way —hell, I had been sure for a couple of months— but after seeing her reaction, I didn't really know anymore.

I could always tell her it was a prank, and we would go back to our usual bickering. "Weasley!" Shit. "Fred!" She specified when the four of us turned at the call of our surname, almost jogging in my direction. "Can we talk?"

"Go ahead, darling." I prompted her without moving from my seat.

"In private?"

"Nah," I begged Godric for her not to see behind my grin the panic that produced me the mere thought of being left alone with her.

"Are you joking?" She huffed and, after taking a deep breath, she spoke. I wasn't expecting her to speak. "So you see, you're cheeky and stupid and not nearly as funny as you think." Ginny spit her pumpkin juice due to Y/n's harsh words. "but I... ugh! Okay— I want to kiss you too."

This time it was Ron who choked on his drink. "What's going on?"

"I feel like we missed an important part of this conversation." George commented.

This time it was Y/n who awaited for an answer. "This is literally the most embarrassing thing ever, so at least say something." She commanded in a rather rude tone, tapping her shoe against the floor.

I winced ever so slightly at the effort of getting up, but it was worth it when I saw her expression as I towered her; I reckon I had never seen her that sheepish before.

"That's a really mean way of saying you're attracted to me." I observed, quirking a brow at her. "Dunno why I fancy you so much."

"Well that makes the two of us." I couldn't help but chuckle at her attitude before cupping her cheeks and bring her lips to mine.

Finally.

Despite being a short, innocent kiss, was enough to make us both blush and grin like idiots.

"Awww" I rolled my eyes at my twin's mockery, knowing damn well I wouldn't hear the end of it.

"Why do I feel like I'm gonna miss you two being at each other's throat?" I couldn't care less about Ron's question as Y/n pulled me down for another kiss.

Almost bleeding to death seemed worth it in that moment.

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

Member: Yunho

Genre: mellow, lofi cafe feels idk, long-forgotten romance??

Word Count: 1.9k

your eyes were fixated on the laptop screen, a daily cup of white chocolate mocha steaming next to your laptop on the surface of the table. you stretched and took a deep breath.

the holidays were here, snow was falling like cotton outside, but you were sitting here in your favourite cafe, comitting yourself to your work that, though drained you, was inviting enough to keep you occupied in this season. the sight of couples strolling outside was the first thing that caught your attention, followed by the children running around and making footprints in the snow piled up against the sidewalks.

your eyes drifted back onto your computer screen, when the bell that hung on the entrance door of the cafe jingled. the scent of roses drifted through the air, and you weren't sure if you were just being sensitive with your sense of smell, but you started to wonder how come nobody else was reacting to such a strong scent.

It wasn't a scent that not many wore, much less a man who had just entered the cafe -- your eyes reacted to the scent faster than your thought process, finally realising who it was.

you lifted your hands off the table, leaning back in the seat as your eyes traced the shape of his forehead, his browbone, his nose, his lips. you looked back at the screen, then tried to steal a look at him through your lashes, just that this time, he was looking at you too.

"Latte macchiato with spoon of cocoa powder," you heard him order.

Hmm. you hum. still the same order after five years.

He walks over to the table warily, his hands jammed into his coat pockets and his hair now longer but neatly combed up to expose his forehead, browner with more dye. "Still the workaholic you were when you left, i see."

"i was going to stay a workaholic regardless of the people i was with," you leaned forward and offered him a small smile. he pulls out the chair opposite you and sits down.

he smiles back with his eyes. "five years."

"five years," you almost whisper in response. you take a sip out from your own cup. "if you still think it was easy convincing myself to leave back then--"

"no, i didnt think it was easy," yunho shakes his head. "i just wish... i had more power to keep you here. i just wish whatever we had was enough to make you stay, but i guess i was wrong."

he looks you in the eye, gently blinking his tired, jetlagged eyes.

*flashback

you trudged your way back to the apartment, your mind elated but your heart heavy in your chest as you thought about the conversation earlier that day.

"i'll be sending you over to paris to work with chanel on their promotions."

"Huh?" You raised a brow, your hands held behind your back as you watched your boss pack her table and shove some files back into the shelf behind her.

"you've been producing quality work. so, i'm choosing you to go to paris and be our representative to work with chanel on a new contract."

new contract?

"this isn't a one-time business trip?"

"no, it's not. chanel's picky about the collaborations they offer other companies, and the one we got is based on a 7-year contract. If you accept it, you'll be staying in paris for the next 7 years."

you sucked your lips between your teeth and blink at your boss upon hearing the offer.

"i know you're in a serious relationship right now. but you deserved this offer, which is why i raised the topic in the first place. whatever you choose to do with it is up to you." your boss had her palms flat against her desk as she leaned forward and scanned your facial expression.

reality yanks you back to current time, when yunho gets the door of the small house open before you even reach the walkway.

"Oh, you're back! i was about to drive out to get you--"

"yunho," you breathed, picking up your pace as you turned into the walkway. "we need to talk."

yunho blinks at you, unconsciously wrapping his hands around yours as he pulls you through the door.

*now

"do you regret the decision?" you rested your cheek in your palm, looking at yunho's facial features. five years had zero impact on his looks. he still looked as good as the last time you saw him.

"of letting you go to paris?" yunho raised a curious brow, taking a sip from his latte. you nod.

"no," he shakes his head and licks his lips, resting his forearms on the table top and rests some weight on his arms. "you told me at the start of our relationship that your career was top priority, and i said i respected it. i still do."

there he was. the man you fell in love with. his maturity and ability to understand you on a different level was what made you so attracted to him in the first place.

"we both know i wouldn't have been able to stop you anyway."

your brows tilted backwards on your face, and you cocked your head to the side at his words. you felt shitty the week you left yunho, but all you could remember was him telling you to do your best, and that this was what you had been working for. 'you deserve it', he said. he might have been mature enough to respect your decision to pursue your career, but you were the one who chose to leave him, the only man whom you truly loved and wanted to be with.

"yunho, i--"

"no, please," yunho shows you his palm. "don't apologise."

you look down at your closed laptop, rubbing your eyes and running your hand through your hair. yunho finishes his drink and notices that your eyes were a little red, probably from staring too much at your screen.

"where are you staying now? i'll send you. how long are you staying for?" yunho hands you a napkin.

"hotel rendezvous. about 10 days." you take the napkin, knowing that he's already noticed your tiredness.

"okay. let's get you back to the hotel. you're already exhausted," yunho stands up. you remember this tactic of his. it was a power move that made you anxious, that made you pack up and leave with him, so you did just that.

the drive to the hotel was quiet, but strangely comforting. The car was filled with yunho's scent, so you felt like you had just been thrown back five years to when you first started living with him.

time seemed to pass, even when not many words were spoken. it was almost like god was punishing you for choosing your career over yunho. you fumbled through your wallet for the keycard, pushing the heavy door open and holding it, gesturing into the room towards yunho.

"are you sure? You're exhausted, you should be resting and not entertaining a gue--"

"Oh, shut up and get in," you chuckle, leaning forward and pulling him in.

you got your bag off your shoulders, carefully placing the laptop on the table next to the bed. yunho looked around the small, but elegant room while you pulled off your coat and your earrings.

you leaned down to the corner of the table, reaching for the socket switch to turn on your charger as yunho walked to the large sliding door a few steps away, looking out at the snow falling gently onto the balcony.

"how does it look like in paris?" he asks quietly, the warmth from his breath creating a small cloud of vapour against the glass. you stand straight again after checking that your laptop was charging before walking over to the sliding door, shoving your hands into the pockets on your butt.

"oh, gorgeous. especially when it snows. it's beautiful."

you hear yunho give a small laugh through his nostrils.

"you know, i thought about it. i thought about flying to paris to look for you, because i was never able to let you go."

you purse your lips and gulp, a strange feeling creeping up on your chest. it felt like when you first crushed on him and you had no idea if he would reciprocate. it was a feeling of anxiety and uncertainty.

"can i ask you something?"

oh, no.

"okay."

yunho finally turns to look at you, his height suddenly extremely in your face because of the lack of space between the two of you. you were dangerously close to him, so much that the only thing you could smell was the scent of him mixed with the rose cologne nobody else wore.

"do you still love me?"

you freeze at the question. your eyes try to look away, but yunho shifts his head to meet them. you slowly look down at your feet, only for him to tilt your chin upwards to look at him.

"i just need an honest answer."

you sigh, feeling your heart and presence completely melt at his touch. it was light, and gentle, and you would be lying if you said you didn't miss it.

You'd be lying straight through your teeth if you said you didn't still think about him every other day, even when you were in paris.

yunho realises that you've gone quiet for a very long time, and he is aware that the only time you do that is when you know a truth you refuse to admit.

yunho closes the gap between the both of you, pulling you closer to him by your chin and kissing you lightly on your lips.

a feeling of nostalgia, warmth, and love overwhelmed you all at once. It had been five. long. years.

yunho pulls away and looked you in the eyes, knowing that there was no other person who could read you better.

"i do," you breathed, as yunho's hands shifted to your cheeks, his cold fingertips right below your earlobes. "i do, and i always will."

a small smile pulls his lips up his cheek, and you could see his eyes welling up with tears before he pulls your face to his again, this time, pressing harder, pressing longer, allowing the both of you to reminisce the taste of each other's lips.

"i'll never let you go again. i let you go once, i'm not letting you go again." yunho presses his forehead against yours, then pulled you into his embrace and burying his nose in your hair. you shut your eyes tightly, grimacing at the warmth and presence nobody else besides yunho could provide you.

"yunho," you were trying your best not to cry.

"hmm?"

"i'm assuming you still love me then?"

you felt yunho laugh a little into your hair.

"i'll love you for the rest of my life, and in the lives after this. no matter where you were, no matter where you will be, you will always have my heart."

A/N: i may or may not have busted a big fat uwu writing this, this might be the softest one shots ive ever written.

[abused-sides]

First of all, love your writing 💞 Second of all, if you are still taking asks (I saw a post where you mentioned it but idk), can you please write about virgil (I'm sorry he is just,,, so easy to project onto) being abused at home and the other sides find out about and confront him or something? Thanks 💕

Always taking asks and prompts <3 And lmao I literally named myself after Virgil, I’ll never complain about writing him and I’ll always understand being able to project the most onto him 

I hope you don’t mind me doing the high school au! If you’d prefer a different setting, feel free to send another ask <3 

Also thank you! You’re really sweet <3 

Trigger warning: This au follows Virgil dealing with parental abuse. 

More tws for: Scratches, bruises, underage drinking, yelling, passive aggression, manipulation from unsympathetic character

Logan: 

It was a few months since Logan and Virgil finished their project together. Virgil expected to be slowly phased out of the group since he was no longer useful, but they didn’t seem to have those intentions. In fact, he was invited around more than ever, which... Surprised him, to say the least. 

He stared at the sky as they walked. The sun was just barely starting towards the horizon, and a flock of birds flew overhead. His feet urged him to break off from Logan, to head towards his own home, but he ignored it. Roman and Remus had invited everyone over after school. Had invited him over. 

“Virgil?”

He brought his gaze to Logan, looking at him questioningly. 

“Isn’t it a little hot?” He nodded to Virgil’s thick hoodie. “I know some of the classrooms can be cold, but you’re sweating. I wouldn’t want you to overheat- It’s still a long walk.” 

His face heated up and he looked away. “It’s not too bad,” he mumbled. 

His wrist still ached from his mom’s hand clamped down as she dragged down the stairs the night before. It had been popping all day, and he knew the bruise had darkened over time. 

Logan frowned deeply. “I don’t want to press, but... It’s really not safe.” 

Virgil hesitated. Logan would be suspicious anyway if he didn’t, right? Why overheat at the same time? 

He kept his gaze stubbornly forward as he shrugged his jacket off and threw it over his arm. Logan’s eyes trailed down the claw marks on his arm, to the purple and black ring around his wrist. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a cat?” 

“No. Why?”

Why didn’t you lie? 

“It doesn’t look like those have been treated. When we get to the brothers’, do you mind?” 

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach. “I don’t mind.” 

Roman: 

Patton fussed over Virgil’s arm when they got to the house, but Logan brushed him away and got Virgil fixed up. Afterwards, Virgil put his jacket back on, and it wasn’t mentioned again. 

Close to two a.m., Remus staggered to his feet and flicked the t.v off. “Alright, everyone staying the night, come with me, the rest of you fuck off.” 

Roman huffed. “Just because you got yourself drunk and can’t stay awake anymore doesn’t mean the rest of us need to crash early.” 

Remus booped Roman’s nose. “You’d regret waking me up.” 

He grinned. “If you pass out, I will be drawing on you. I’ve got the Sharpies ready.” 

Janus rolled his eyes. “You will not, because if you wake me up-”

Roman smiled. “I’ll stay away.” 

Remus pointed at Janus. “Aha! So you will be staying with me!” 

He leaned in, but Janus covered Remus’ mouth. “Brush your teeth first.” 

“I think I’m going to head out,” Patton giggled. “You know how my parents are.”

“Yeah, I have two tests tomorrow.” Logan downed the rest of his hard lemonade and tossed it in the trash. “Pat, I can walk you home.” 

Remus fell into Janus’ lap and whistled. He grunted as Janus shoved him off. 

“Virgil?” Roman looked to him. “Staying or going?” 

He swallowed. “Uh, I can- I can stay, if that’s alright.” 

Roman stood and shooed Janus off the couch. “You can sleep out here, if you want. Assuming Janus has made up his mind.” 

Janus pointed at Roman with his free hand as Remus led him into his room. “Keep your fucking Sharpies to yourself.”

“Goodnight, guys!” Patton called as he followed Logan up the basement stairs. 

“The couch shouldn’t be too uncomfortable, but if you need anything, you remember where my room is, right? Upstairs, it’s the one closest to the kitchen.” 

Virgil nodded. “I remember.” 

“Cool. Night, Virgil.”

“Night.” 

Roman turned off the basement light as he left, swallowing Virgil in darkness. He settled back, pulled the blankets to his chin, and stared at the ceiling. 

There were cracks in the ceiling. Muffled giggling floated through Remus’ closed door, the intro to one of the Saw movies playing quietly. His eyes watered, his chest tight. 

What would his parents say when he got back? When would Virgil go home? He jumped at any chance the others gave him to stay the night. Sometimes he went weeks without going home. Sometimes his parents didn’t care, gave him a grunt of a greeting and told him of the leftovers in the fridge. Sometimes they yelled. Sometimes Virgil walked away with more bruises. He’d never be able to predict them. 

He woke with a start, eyes wide. He blinked frantically as the room came back into focus. He fumbled for his phone and squinted at the bright light. 

4:09 a.m. 

He sighed and flopped back. Another movie played in Remus’ room, but their giggling and talking had stopped. 

Exhaustion pulled Virgil’s eyes shut. He fell halfway into sleep before launching upright, scrambling to turn on his phone’s flashlight. 

He tried several more times falling asleep, even a few with his flashlight still on, but each time he got close, his body insisted he wasn’t safe. He had resigned himself to staying that way through the night when the basement door opened, the light flicked on, and Roman came downstairs with his phone and a worried frown. 

“Virgil?” 

His heart hammered. “Shit, did I wake you up? I’m sorry-”

Roman shook his head and sat on the couch as Virgil folded his legs close. “No, I was awake. Remus texted me. What’s wrong, is the couch too uncomfortable?”

“No, I- It’s fine. I’m sorry, I...” He laughed a little, pushing his bangs back. “You didn’t need to come down here. I’m fine.” 

Roman stared at him as he thought, eyebrows pinched. After an agonizing minute, he said, “If you can’t fall asleep, you can come with me. I’m just watching YouTube.” 

He hesitated. “I don’t want to bother you.”

Roman shrugged. “I’m bored anyway.” He stood and gestured for Virgil to follow. “Come on.” 

Virgil scrambled to follow, his footsteps silent. Virgil understood why he didn’t originally invite anyone to crash with him-- His bed was tiny. Still, he patted the spot beside him and allowed Virgil to cram in next to him. 

He handed Virgil his T.V. remote. “You like those scary videos, right? The, uh... Like, the ‘real’ ones?” 

“Nuke’s Top 10,” Virgil mumbled, thumb hesitating over the buttons. “What do you want to watch?” 

“I’m good with whatever. All my usuals are boring right now.” 

Virgil’s brain moved sluggishly before he thought ‘fuck it’ and put on one of the newer videos, before settling into bed. Roman pressed in behind him and rested his chin on Virgil’s shoulder. 

Virgil fell asleep quickly. Roman’s warmth seeped into his back. He smelled like spices. 

He startled awake around 5am. 

“Virgil?” Roman grabbed his hips to keep him from falling off the bed, voice heavy with sleep. “Virgil, what’s wrong?” 

Virgil gripped Roman’s hands as he fought to catch his breath. “I’m fine,” he panted. “I’m sorry, go back to sleep.” 

“Nightmares?” Roman lazily ran a hand up and down Virgil’s arm as he settled down. “We didn’t have to put on those scary videos, you know.”

He shook his head. “That’s not why.” 

Roman was silent for a while, to the point Virgil thought he’d fallen back asleep. Then he asked, “Are you safe?” 

Virgil blinked. “What?” 

“Are you safe?” He squeezed Virgil’s arm, below the scratches. “We’re not going to get an announcement about you during homeroom later this year, right?” 

Virgil rolled his eyes and sighed. “Of course not,” he whispered. “I’m fine.” 

He paused. “Alright. My parents won’t ever care if you need to stay here for a while. Just so you know.” 

“I’m safe.” He pocketed that away for later. 

Patton: 

Patton gasped as Virgil walked into homeroom. He jumped out of his seat and ran over to take Virgil’s uninjured hand, leading him to their desks. 

“What happened?” He stared at Virgil’s cast in horror. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Virgil insisted. “It’s just a few fingers, they’ll heal.”

Patton grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Virgil. What happened?” 

His eyes clouded with panic. He stumbled over his words for a minute before spitting out, “I- I accidentally shut them in the door, it’s fine.”

“Virgil... This isn’t like you. You’re not clumsy, you’re not...” He looked at Virgil with sad eyes. “Are you lying to me?” 

Virgil wet his lips. “No. It was just an accident. Please don’t make a big deal out of it? Please?” 

Patton rested a hand on the side of his face. Virgil leaned into his touch. “Sweetie, I... I need to make sure you’re okay. How do I know this isn’t just going to happen again?”

“It won’t,” he promised. “It won’t. I already fixed the problem, okay? It won’t happen again.” 

Patton hesitated. “Okay.” 

Remus and Janus: 

“This is a stupid idea,” Janus grumbled as Remus dragged him down the sidewalk. 

“Listen, everyone is freaking out, I think it’d calm them down to get some answers.” 

“It’s fucking cold,” he complained. 

Remus sighed and shrugged off his jacket. He held it out. “Better?”

Janus hid a smile as he pulled it on. “Yeah.” 

Feeling a little stupid, Janus followed Remus’ lead and crouched as they got to Virgil’s house. They pressed themselves against the wall under one of the big windows. 

“How long are we going to be doing this?” Janus whispered after a few minutes of nothing. 

Remus shrugged and pulled a book out of his backpack. Janus gave him a flat look. 

“You’re kidding.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “What, you expected something to miraculously happen the second we arrived? We barge down the doors, carry Virgil out fireman style, and live happily ever after?” 

“Of course not,” he hissed, “but what about-”

Remus pressed a kiss to his mouth. “Please?” 

Janus’ face turned red. He wrapped the jacket tighter around him with a glare towards the road. “Fine.” 

They sat in silence for hours. Remus read his book and Janus curled into his side, largely getting in the way but stopping his complaining. 

“VIRGIL!” 

They jumped, Janus’ heart lodging itself in his throat. 

“VIRGIL, WHERE ARE YOU?!” 

“Follow me,” Remus whispered. 

Janus was too terrified to move, but he was more scared to be left alone, so he scrambled after as Remus circled to the back of the house. They situated themselves under the open kitchen window. 

“I’m here,” Virgil said breathlessly. “I’m here.” 

“Took you long enough,” a man sighed. “Why isn’t this emptied?”

A pause. 

“Sorry, I’ll do that now.” The dishwasher creaked open. 

“It should have been done hours ago.” The man’s voice was cheerful, upbeat. Janus’ skin crawled. “What happened to that?”

“It- It wasn’t done when I got home from school. I’m sorry, I forgot.” 

“You forgot.” The man chuckled. “And if we just forgot to make dinner for a few nights? To pay our rent a few months? Would that be okay?” 

Virgil didn’t answer. 

“Of course it wouldn’t!” The man snapped. “We all have shit to do, Virgil, and they have to get done.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Virgil’s voice was quiet, resigned. 

“I wouldn’t have to fucking remind you all the time if you knew. What do we have to do to get it through your head? Your mother and I, we work so hard, and you can’t even unload the fucking dishwasher?” 

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” Virgil’s voice came out thick, dishes clacking together quietly. “It won’t happen again, I promise.” 

“This house is a fucking mess. Looks like you forgot to sweep, too. Do I even want to look in the bathrooms? What have you been doing?” 

“I’m sorry, I was working on homework-”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” 

Virgil sniffled. Remus gripped Janus’ hand hard enough to bruise. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll get it all done, I promise.” 

“Tonight,” the man snapped. “Before dinner, in fact.” 

Janus frowned deeply. It was already close to eight.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you have a problem with that?”

“Wh- No, no, I-”

“You wanna make that face again? Like a little toddler? When are you going to grow up, Virgil?” 

Virgil started to answer, then cried out as something shattered. He gasped, grass crunching under a shoe. 

The man’s voice came out low, so close to the window it took everything Janus had not to sprint away. “Clean this up. Don’t get blood on the carpet. Do your chores, and go to bed. I don’t want to see you for the rest of the day.” 

Janus peeked up at Remus as footsteps stormed away. Remus’ vicious glare only hardened as Virgil’s soft sobs drifted out the window. 

xxx 

His friends were quiet. It put Virgil on edge. 

They were once again piled together in the brothers’ basement. Janus, instead of how he usually pretended to hate Remus- Something Virgil didn’t understand and didn’t think he ever would -sat curled up in Remus’ lap, ignoring the others stares as Remus ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his back. Patton was more touchy with Virgil than usual, more gentle. Like Virgil was a shattered plate held together with tape. 

“Okay.” Roman shut off the T.V. “I can’t do this anymore. Virgil, we need to talk.” 

He bristled. They’re sick of you. He pulled his hoodie on and shoved his phone in his pocket. He nodded, ready to leave. 

“Remus and Janus overheard something,” Patton said, resting a hand on his knee. “You can’t lie to us and say they aren’t hurting you anymore.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Wh- What?” 

“Your dad,” Janus mumbled, “last night. With the dishwasher.”

Fear washed over Virgil hard enough for sweat to bead on his forehead, stomach rolling with nausea. “He was having a bad night. It’s fine.” 

“Virgil, this should have gotten stitches,” Patton said softly, one hand tapping close to the bandaid on Virgil’s hand. 

“And no good dad does that on a ‘bad night,’“ Remus snapped. 

“Remus,” Roman sighed. “Not helping.” 

Patton’s eyes filled with tears. “We just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“That you survive until graduation,” Logan pointed out. 

“You can trust us,” Patton insisted. “Please, you can be honest.”

Virgil’s bottom lip wobbled as he leaned into Patton’s side. Patton guided Virgil’s head to his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Roman hurried over to cuddle into his other side. 

“We know there’s not much we can do right now,” Janus said quietly, eyes on the ground. Remus kissed the side of his head, “but we can’t do anything if you don’t... Talk to us.” 

“I know.” Virgil sniffled and buried his face in Patton’s shoulder. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Yeah,” Roman whispered. “Yeah, we can put on another movie. Or- Logan, can you set up the Xbox? We can play something for a little bit.” 

The six of them rotated through multiplayer games on the Xbox. Patton insisted on being Virgil’s partner each time, and when they waited their turn, he kept an arm around Virgil’s waist. He cuddled into Patton’s side, occasionally letting his eyes fall shut and his mind zone out. 

Everyone stayed over in the brothers’ basement that night, crammed on the couch and piled on top of each other. The next day, things largely went back to normal, until after school where everyone jumped to invite Virgil over. 

He laughed. “I can’t be four places at once.” 

“I call him!” Patton kissed Virgil’s cheek and hugged him. “Try again tomorrow.”

Virgil blushed as Remus whined about Patton not being fair, Roman smacking the back of his head. 

Virgil followed them all as they headed to Patton’s house, laughing and talking over each other. Virgil was pressed between Patton and Logan. 

Virgil peeked at Logan from under his bangs while everyone was distracted. “Thank you.”

Logan smiled. “My pleasure.”

[zanesgirlfriend]

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored | Jeff Wittek

Description: The reader is jealous of Jeff's girlfriend.

Requested?: yes by @witchywrter : Can you do a Jeff x fem!reader where reader joined the group and little after Jeff and the two immediately became like best friends until Jeff gets a gf and she makes Jeff and reader stop their friendship and there’s a bunch of angst and eventually they end up together! Tag me too please!!

A/N: i read this as y/n makes the reader and jeff stop being friends but idk if u meant the girlfriend made them stop being friends so sorry i just guessed.

Disclaimer: I know some other people have already written about this song!!!! im not trying to copy them or anything, i just thought the song fit really well with this request :) so no bad vibes please enjoy the fic!!!

_____

She was 'the new girl' that everyone was talking about. Comments, gossip blogs, twitter, even the rest of the vlog squad. The last new person was Jeff, so for some reason she instantly related to him. They became best friends very quickly, always going on hikes and working out together, and just sitting around David's helping eachother edit.

They seemed to know everything about eachother, and seemed one hundred percent comfortable with eachother. There was no denying she had feelings for Jeff, but she refused to make the first move in fear of rejection.

Text Message from my name jeff 2:39 AM

Text Message from my name jeff 2:42 AM

Text Message from my name jeff 2:48 AM

Missed Call from my name jeff 2:57 AM

"Y/n, your phone's ringing." Natalie gently pushed her shoulder in attempt to wake her up. She'd fallen asleep on David's couch. She lifted her head up grogily and grabbed her phone, hitting the answer button.

"Hey." She sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes.

"Hey, can you take care of Nerf tonight?" His words were rushed, as if he was dying to hang up the phone.

"Yeah, why?" She was suddenly more awake now as she listened to what was going on in the background of the phone call.

"I'm staying at a friends house tonight. You have a key, right?" He said, still rushing to hang up as a girl kissed his neck.

"A girl friend?" She asked as she stood up to find her shoes. She could hear the girl sucking on his skin, awfully close to the microphone on his cell.

"Yeah, y/n, a girl friend. You have a key, right?" He asked again, running his free hand on the girls skin.

"Yes. I'll see you in the morning." She was short as she hung up.

"What was that about?" Natalie asked her. She noticed David took his headphones out to listen to the conversation.

"Jeff's out with a girl again and needs me to watch Nerf again." She emphasized the word 'again' to show her frustration. David perked up.

"I think it's the same girl as last time. The other day he told me he really likes some instagram model." David's comment infuriated y/n even more.

"Well, if he's dating this chick then can't he set up some doggy daycare ahead of time?" She picked up her bag and dug around for her keys. "Why doesn't he just give Nerf to me? I'm always the one that ends up taking care of him and I don't even get a thank you." She ranted.

Deep down she knew she was more mad about him seeing another girl than having to take care of sweet little Nerf.

"Have fun!" Natalie called as y/n slammed the door behind her. Natalie and David looked at eachother and laughed.

"She totally has a crush on him."

She pulled up to Jeff's apartment around 3:30am. She took Nerf out for a walk before putting some food in his bowl and making her way into Jeff's bedroom. She raided his closet for pajamas, slipping on a sweatshirt that smelled like him and leaving her jeans in a pile on the floor. Nerf walked into the room with a toy so she played with him for a while before they cuddled and fell asleep in Jeff's bed.

Jeff shut the door quietly as he came in. He didn't wanna wake up y/n or his dog. He walked over to his bedroom and peered in. Y/n was hugging his comforter as if it were a person, and he noticed how his sweatshirt she was wearing was riding up. He looked at her underwear for a moment before throwing another blanket overtop of her.

She woke up later than she usually did and suddenly remembered where she was. She crawled out of bed, Nerf missing from his spot, and went looking for Jeff. He was editing on the couch, Nerf next to him, waiting patiently for her to wake up.

"You should just give Nerf to me." She said as she plopped down next to him. He chuckled, but she didn't. "I'm serious, Jeff. You can't keep calling me over to dog-sit in the middle of the night every time you have a booty call!" She was still very mad.

"Well, I can't bring her here, she's allergic to dogs." He closed his laptop before looking over at y/n. "I have to lint roll myself before I even go near her." He tried to justify his actions, but it wss just pissing her off.

"Yeah, I bet that's the reason she's always taking your clothes off!" Her voice was dripping with sarcasam as she rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Why are you so pissed at me? I thought you were just doin' me a favor?" His hands gestured wildly as he watched her stomp off to find her pants.

"Doing you a favor? Jeff you haven't said thank you to me once for the however many times I've done this for you. It's me trying to keep your dog alive, not doing you a favor!" She was screaming now as she buttoned her jeans and collected her things.

"What the fuck is your problem all of a sudden?" He stood up, not wanting her to leave.

"My problem? My problem is that I do so much for you and you don't do shit for me. You don't even give me the time of day anymore. When was the last time you invited me on a hike? Three weeks ago." She tried to push past him but he stopped her.

"I'm sorry I'm goin' on hikes with my girlfriend instead of you. I didn't know I needed permission to do that." Jeff was sarcastic now, too, trying to get her to understand his side of things.

"God, Jeff. Just shut the fuck up for once!" She finally pushed past him and put her hand on the doorknob. "Let me know when she stops taking up all your time and you're available to have friends again." She slammed the door behind her.

They didn't talk for weeks. Any time one of them showed up near the other one of them would leave. The fans noticed the tension and the rest of their friends felt like their parents had gotten divorced. They were always forced to pick a person to hang out with, and it made things incredibly awkward.

One night it was some random persons birthday, but the vlog squad was invited to the party. Jeff had gotten there first with his girlfriend, but y/n had riden with David and a few other friends. She decided she would be the bigger person and stick it out. She was bored of fighting with him. She just wanted her Jeff back.

They eyed eachother all night, and nobody could tell if they were judging eachother or eye-fucking eachother. Jeff's girlfriend would notice y/n across the room and start grinding on him, or kissing him, or whatever she could do to try and assert her dominance. Y/n didn't care. She was dressed to the nines and wanted Jeff to know it. She grinded on every single person around them, and even threw in a few kisses with females to turn Jeff on. She knew he was watching.

Y/n got closer and closer to the couple as the night went on, but didn't make her move until Jeff's girlfriend left to pee.

"Long time, no talk." She said as she started to dance on him. His hands instinctively moved to her waist as he studied her face. "How's Nerf?" She asked.

"He's fine. How've you been?" Jeff was more interested in her than ever. They continued small talk and stared into eachothers eyes. The energy between them was different than ever before. Eventually Jeff's girlfriend returned and y/n slipped away in the blink of an eye.

Text Message from Y/N 🙃 12:14AM

break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored.

He smirked at his phone as he texted her back.

"What are you smiling at?" His girlfriend bitched. Y/n was right, and he was done with her anyway. Jeff showed her the text message.

"Bye." He waved to his ex-girlfriend as he went to find the girl he really wanted. He went upstairs in the random persons house and searched empty bedrooms. He found y/n sitting on the end of a bed, waiting for him. "Bored, huh?" He joked as he stripped his shirt off.

"Yeah." She scanned his body.

"Lemme fix that."

[dyker-farmer]

Ok this was supposed to be a quick draw and a description to go with, that blew into a full chapter and now it's also on Ao3 SO happy reading ig idk

I never see Shane works that don't go all in for romance nor explore the more realistic ugly parts of recovery, and I kind of crave That TM. So let me have at it too with the self-insert whump mumbo jumbo; no romo version.

Set post-8 hearts event, Farmer Uidelsib is two years or so in, full house built and married to Emily. They/them pronouns, same as me.

Diverges from then on, Shane-centric from an outside POV for the most part.

[[MORE]]

Take that can away if you can.

Gulp it down. Chapter 1/2/3/4

There's a few to-know to survive life in society, in the valley; there's no good way to comment on the age nor weight of both resident housewives, you can't say no to Evelyn's homemade cookies- and why would you, you fool-, you do not fight at the Saloon or you'll get no cheese anymore on your pizza and only sparkling water for drinks, and-

And you don't mess with Shane's alcohol related ritual.

Except I did, that night, because you do that, when your two-years long friendship with the guy taught you better than letting his impulses overcome yours, when your buddy is trying to recover from teenage long-lasting into early adulthood, trauma-enhanced heavy addiction, and you know, you know tomorrow he'll feel like absolute shit and question his right to therapy the moment he'll stop his pounding skull from splitting. Wonders what a three-dosage paracetamol can do. 

At least he doesn't drink it out anymore.

So yeah, when you're in my shoes, you get that Joja store-bought crap out of Shane's hand, and you brace yourself for the incoming lash out.

The first fractions of seconds are always those to look closely into most. It's only a glimpse, but before the scowl slips on like a well-worn boxing glove ready to strike, there is always this open page I learned I needed to decipher as quick as I could.

Tonight, it's heartbreaking. When I peck his forehead- doting big sibling habits die hard, even when you're actually the youngest of the pair- the eyes I catch looking at me are so confused and bare of any emotion, except for the sorrow that goes beer-soaked tears, it pangs. I get used to the breakdowns, working in the fields I do when I'm off the farm's, but it's not the same when it's a friend.

When I straighten back, offensive beverage in hand, it's already gone in a flinch, away from the empty space behind the chair and onto the table, as he snarls.

"Wha- giv'me back- 's mine!" I don't know how much he drunk before he met up with me, but from the slurring, it's a Lot. A season and a half into sobriety. That's harsh.

I ignore him and walk behind him, pondering where to put the beer for now.

"Y-you can't just do that! It's my booze I got with m'money, not some- who d'you think you are?-" He sputters indignantly, angry tears fewer than the sad ones but still there. He tries to turn around and grab behind his back, but the wild movement is way off and only gets the chair to nearly topples down. I rush in time to stabilize it, and profit off the moment to set a strong hand on his shoulder.

"I can just do that, 'cus it's my house I got with my money, and I think I'm your pal who knows when you've had enough. Dude, I trust you to be an adult, but minutes before, you were already so torched I had to keep your neck upright so you didn't faceplant into the table, and you nearly just kissed my floor good evening. Not to mention you clung to my arms the whole way from the little entry stairs to the kitchen because, quoting, 'If I don't I'll fall in the hole and won't get up'."

I turn to the fridge again, going to open it, before I think better of it. Likely enough, we'll both forget it was there in the first place, it'll stink up my fridge- it's Joja's- and it'll be money out of Shane's pocket for nothing. I set it on the counter, with the rest of the pack. He'll put it to cool down when he's back to Marnie's. Or he won't, probably. 

That's not a worry for now.

When I caught up with him, it was a few feet below my doorstep; he'd probably slipped up trying to climb the three steps up to it, and settled for it. He was nursing that same can, muttering to himself, head down, curled up on himself. Except for that leg sticked out, he probably hurt it when he fell, I'll have to look at that and work on it if it's too swollen. Hopefully that'll spare us from a visit to Harvey's.

Bad memories. Not mine, and it's warm and not raining outside, but. Déjà-vu.

Anyways, he looked the picture of "help I've fallen and I can't get up- and even if I can I won't because Fuck You", and it's been a hassle to have him cooperate. But when I asked if he wanted to leave, he shook his head with a fervor no somnolent drunk should have. That resulted in a lovely streak of vomit down the wall right next to the door. That's also for later. If Eryza doesn't lap it up. Ew. This cat's never predictable.

Now, he's staring at his hands, sitting at my table, contemplating something too far down for me to see- or maybe just zoning out with a sleeping brain. Then he mumbles. "Sorry."

I get back to the table and sit at arm's length across of him. "Nah, 's okay. I don't mind being a helping hand or touchy-feely, must be the frog-eater in me. Not for the helping part." I'd chuckle but my quip falls on deaf ears.

I go to put my hand over his. When he doesn't blink at it, I try and shake a reply out of him, gently. He startles and hawkeyes our joined fingers. When he's finally looking at me, I raise a single eyebrow. He doesn't say anything, but when he pulls back his arm, I let him. We both straighten up, and it's hard to keep up the eye contact.

"So…" There's a heavy air on us. Suddenly, like the last year didn't happen, we're sitting a stride away of each other, and yet it feels like he's all the way back to the forest, looking down at waves.

"Do you want me to do something?" I bend myself a little closer to him, not moving otherwise.

He puts his head in his hands, shivering. Can't tell if it's the AC or his system kicking the alcohol out, or itself, in stress. I think I hear something, but it might as just be his shuddering breath.

"Shane" I insist, voice level, not pressing. "I need words. I want to help, I truly don't mind, but I need words to know what to do." He's never shown signs of going nonverbal before. If he does, I'll improvise. Until then… I need words.

Time ticks slowly as we wait. Then, with great effort and deep fatigue, he drags his palms up from under his nose to his temple, spreading some snot and wet tears across his face from his scrunched shut eyes. Lips trembling but finally showing, that attempt to let out a sound that's not too garbled. He coughs, sniffles a bit, breathe in again, sounding like a sick dog, and blows through gritted teeth before his jaws go slack. Eyes still closed, he whispers, and I have to lower myself some more toward his crouched form to catch it.

"Can I get something to drink…?" His voice is hoarse.

The demand could be comical, if we were into sour humor. And we usually are. But right now, we're not finding the joke in the lines. I stand silently, and as I walk to the fridge again, I let my hand brush his shoulder- same spot as before.

I take a minute to choose, look into the pantry. When I'm back at the table with my items of choice, he's still sitting there, his cheek is cushioned on his arms, face hidden from view. His shoulder, except for the occasional tremor, rise and fall in rythm with his snores. Breaks my heart to interrupt that, but not really. Hangovers are mean bitches with the sharpest nail art on the blackest of boards.

"Psst, dude. C'mon." I rustle his hair backward. He hates when I do that, says it tickles, and it makes him sneeze. So I obligatory do it once a day if I can. Let's say today's my late quota for the last four days I haven't seen him.

He gruffly tells me to kindly refrain from such pleasantries, and raise bleary eyes back up at the table. I can also guess he tried to bat a hand at me, but his coordination is off and he slaps himself lightly on the ear. Then he glares bewildered at his hand for a few seconds, obviously insulted. I profit of this moment to grab a small basin from under the sink, on second thought.

When he brings his attention back to me, I'm sitting again. Between us, a jug of fresh milk from this morning, a small sack of peppers, and a juice carafe sit aside a green glass bottle. There's also some bread, mostly for me to munch on. Because, hmmm dough. He squints at it all, especially at the bottle. Probably trying to read the label.

"Yeah no, didn't get you one of my best wine, not sorry."

"Hot pepper… juice?" He looks at the actual peppers next to it. "With actual peppers?" And then I get the squint too.

"Hmph, I know you like your elongated hell tomatoes, man, what can i say."

At that, a feeble snort.

I decide that it is the highlight victory of my soirée.

"Welp, have at it." I gesture to the half-liter liquor glass right by his left.

He fumbles with the drinks and some splashes around, but I lay back on my chair, arms crossed, letting him do his thing. While I don't hold back from growing downright doting on him when I got to- or even when I don't- I don't see how more devotion right now would be not smothering. He can break my fancy glass cups if he wants and spill my milk, so long he doesn't cut himself or cry over it.

Now, you could be thinking that plain water would have done the trick just fine, if not better, in rehydrating him. Here's the thing, though; going from booze to tasteless liquid, for Shane, that's a sure way to puking his heart out. And I'd rather not have us deal with an acid bile throat burn on top of near alcohol poisoning. Sorry to not spare you the squeamish details, but his oesophagus is pretty sensitive ever since that stomach pumping back at the clinic. Hot fiery hell fruits he can do just fine, with relative moderation and hydratation- hence the milk and juice- but liquor bursting its way back from his guts? Nuh uh. 

It had taken lots of coaxing, but he'd explained the plain tastes, or lackthereof, were very hard for him to deal with, especially when contrasting with strong ones like beers and whiskeys. I'd shackle it to gustative hypostimulation, but I don't know enough about him that way to say. He'd said sparkling water was a good compromise.

But I don't have sparkling water, because I do not like suffering.

I might buy a pack for when he visits though.

And I do know a handful about him already. Shackle that to perceptiveness and a stubborn streak on top of a year and so long camaraderie.

And having a certain uncontrollable fear of failing to act quick the next time coped with by accumulating information and patterns compulsively.

I shake my head to focus on the present again. He's switched from juices to soaking bread in milk to eat it small portion after small portion. He pauses in mid-bite when he catches me staring. He's still hunched on himself and red-faced and a tad bloated. His cheeks are drying and he's blown his nose. I smile calmly. Worst of the storm passed, unless I screw up and blow it.

"Ywou wan' chom'?" He offers a dripping piece of bread. In moments like this, when he's sobering but not quite, the resemblance with Jas are unmistakable. The glint in his reddened eyes that open wide, and his blank-but-not-quite wondering expression, it's all here to paint a scrutinizing but vulnerable picture of tired but bright minds.

"Nah thanks. You done with that milk?"

"...Sure." He eyes it, wary. He knows where this is going, and he doesn't like it. I take the drink off the table, and his gaze follows my movement until I bring it to my lips.

He frowns. A silent warning. 

And as I lock onto him with a dead stare, not blinking a millisecond, I down the rest of the 2 liters jug in three, five gulps. I even take the time to lick my new mustache away, and close my mouth with a click of my tongue.

His expression is the macabre marriage of beffudled horror and pure affliction, disgust if you will. The face of someone who doesn't hate milk, but has grown out of it enough to not be able to live off the stuff like the brave souls I'm apart of. And probably with reason, as I actually can't, like most 20+ years old, digest the liquid in large amount. But I smile like a smug cat, perfectly content.

Cats really can't digest milk once adults, it's all social mythos.

We silently judge and fuck with each other like that for a while more, as more time passes, until the room's elephant gets it all humid with its prancing around. Enough that tears and nervous sweats start again, for no apparent reasons but the residual anxiety from the whole chain of events that led to this.

"I think we should talk about this."

--- to be continued.

[klaus-billy-and-coffee]

Billy x Reader || For You || pt. 3

~ this is the longest series I've ever done *laughs* I hope this is okay! It may be the last part, depending on the ending. I'll ask at the end, cause I have a small idea but idk if it'll even work out. Regardless, I hope you enjoy! ~

I couldn't believe what had happened. I was standing outside the bathroom as Max helped [name] change, her clothes having a bit of blood on them. The thought made me shiver.

"You can come in now, Billy." Max murmured as she opened the door a bit. I could see the fear in her eyes and she had tear stains on her cheeks. I nodded, pushing myself off the wall where I had been processing everything.

When I entered the bathroom, I closed and locked it behind me for extra protection, before turning. My heart broke at the sight of [name]. Her left eye was all but swollen shut, her hair was a mess, and she was shaking like a leaf. I held back a sob as I rushed to her and wrapped her gently in my arms.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. It's all my fault, I should've done better at protecting you." I whispered. She shook her head, her arms limp over my shoulders.

"Don't blame yourself. If anything it's my fault. I shouldn't have asked to come over anyways, I got you in trouble. And now he's probably going to hurt you more." She replied and I instantly tightened my hold on her.

"Don't you dare say that." I scolded softly. I pulled back and kissed her forehead, moving so I was standing in between her legs as she was sitting on the counter by the faucet. I turned to Max.

"Let's get her cleaned up, yeah?" I started. Max nodded, looking a bit better after seeing [name] and I together. "I'm going to go get the alcohol, you stay here." I said and her eyes widened.

"You can't go out there! What if he's awake?" Her voice was frantic and I tried to give her a small smile. I ruffled her hair for what felt like the millionth time, before unlocking the door and stealing a quick, calming breath.

"Then I'll deal with him. Lock this behind me, do not open it until you know for sure it's me. Okay Max?" I gave her a pleading look and she sighed, agreeing. With that I exited the bathroom, not walking away until I knew for sure it was locked again.

I took long strides to the kitchen, ducking under the sink to grab what I needed. I was fine until I stood, coming face to face with my dad, who looked much worse than [name], much to my satisfaction. I looked away from him, my fear of the man gone after what he had done.

"She's not a whore, you know. She an amazing girl, the best one I've ever met. And I love her. Nothing you can do will ever change that." I told him before he could speak. I heard him sigh.

"If that's what you want to believe. But no woman is ever nice." He replied and I rolled my eyes.

"Not to men who are scum like you. [name] makes me better, and I'm putting in effort to change. I'm not scared of you anymore, and I'll fight back from now on. Remember that." I warned and went back to the bathroom.

I knocked a certain way, and Max immediately opened the door. I smiled at her, and she returned it. When I got to [name], I kissed her cheek right below her black eye, opening the rubbing alcohol and grabbing one of the cotton balls Max had layed out.

"This is going to sting, but only for a bit. Then it'll be better." I said, repeating what she always told me when I showed up at her house after dad had worse nights than usual. She nodded and Max slid over to hold her hand.

Without waiting, I dabbed at the cuts on her face. There weren't many, and they were all pretty shallow, but I didn't want to risk any infections. When I finished I brushed my lips lightly over hers and stepped back to get a rag and wet it with cold water.

"Hold this over your eye while I get ice." I instructed, about to leave again when her hand stopped me.

"Don't. Please." Her voice was soft and I couldn't argue with how worried and scared she sounded. Even if she tried to hide it.

"Alright baby girl, I'll stay." I soothed. She smiled, the split in her lip almost bleeding again at the gesture. I brought a hand up to rub my face as I calmed down, knowing both Max and [name] were safe for the moment. A soft touch on my hand pulled me back to the present.

"Your knuckles are split. I'll clean them for you." [name] said, tugging me over and taking the rag off her eye to gently wipe my hand clean of blood. She did it to my other hand as well, before disinfecting them. I felt my heart soften at her small smile while she worked, as if she didn't have a swollen eye or multiple scrapes and bruises. I kissed her hair when she was finished as a thank you, before helping her off the counter and turning to Max.

"It's late, you both need sleep." I said. Max looked worried again. "It'll be okay. We'll all go to my room, and I'll lock the door. It'll be safer with all three of us together anyways." I explained and she relented, taking my hand carefully as [name] took my other. She opened the door and we all cautiously peeked out. Seeing nothing we bolted quietly to my room, shutting and locking the door before relaxing.

"Tomorrow would you both like to come to my house? I don't think you should be here anymore." I looked to [name], who was already laying down with Max. I smiled at her.

"If it's not a bother, we'd love to come over." I answered. She giggled a bit and I got into bed beside Max, causing her to be in the middle, my arms around both girls. "I'll stay up a bit, make sure we're in the clear. You just get some sleep."

"Alright, g'night Billy, love ya." Max said, snuggling into [name].

"Love you too, Mad Max." I chuckled and [name] spoke up next.

"Thank you for saving and protecting me, I love you Billy Hargrove."

"I'll always keep you safe. I love you too, [name] [l/name]."

~ T A G L I S T ~

@speedmetalqueen @ravenrainy @addictofsupernatural

{ if you'd like to be added to my tag list, feel free to comment or ask, and you can also specify if you just want to be added to a certain character's tag list. }

~ idk how I liked this part...it seemed like it dragged on a lot. Should I do another part? And if so, should it be where where it's either the next day or further in the future? Let me know!!! ~

[suncatchr]

45

this ask is Very old but I just stumbled across this in my docs and it’s like. done. idk why I never posted it?

45. “What’s the damage?”

-

“I don’t believe this, you know.”

Cass puts his arm around my shoulder. “What, love?”

I gesture into my sister’s living room, where Percy is lying on the pale hardwood flying a model plane over his head. Beside him is my sister’s daughter, Angélique, staring at it in awe and trying to snatch it from his hand. Percy is older than her, two years, I think, and much bigger. She drives her hand into his stomach, trying to climb up higher, and he barely reacts.

“I never used to miss Aimee.” I lower my voice because I know she and her husband are lurking around here somewhere. That’s what she does, she lurks. She eavesdrops on my conversations and hates all my friends and mocks everything I do. I brought Heli home to meet her and my mother when we were younger, and she hated him. She kept taking advantage of his gullibility to mock and belittle him like she was a mean little child on the playground. She made him worry that if my family didn’t like him, then I wouldn’t anymore, either. She nearly ruined everything just to get a quick laugh. Irritation sends heat through me. “I hated her, Cass. She made my life a living hell, and yet?”

Percy squeals and rolls onto his side, laughing like mad as Angélique scrabbles to her feet and takes off in circles after him. Percy starts prancing and hopping to keep his steps ahead of hers, but he’s no match for her quick little strides. She pounces on him and tugs his shirt, making screaming sounds on the verge of tears as she tries to pull his plane-flying arm down. I nearly start forward; I hate when people play rough with him and she’s going to knock him down if they keep on this way. But Cass tugs me back.

“He’s okay.”

I lean against him. I was saying something, I try to put myself back on track. It’s not a huge deal anyway. “I… I’m still glad we ran into Aimee, you know? I’m so glad Percy has family nearby, I-”

If I start crying and Aimee comes out from wherever she’s lurking, I’m just going to crawl into a hole and die. I know for a fact she hasn’t matured any, I could see it in her smug face when she invited us over here. She only did it because we invited her over first. Cass accidentally mentioned that we live in an apartment, so she refused. Why don’t you all visit us at home, instead? There’ll be far more space for the children to play. Ugh.

“When I came back here and I couldn’t find her-” Tears sting my eyes because I’m already feeling it and now I’ve brought up the one winter I want nothing more than to forget. “I felt so abandoned, Cass, I had no family anymore, no matter how much I hated her, I- I wanted-”

Cass herds me a little down the hall, probably so that Percy won’t see me cry. He gives me an earnest look, puts a hand on my shoulder. I take his wrist so that I’m touching him, too.

“I wanted my family, Cass. And now I’m Percy’s family and I’m so scared that he won’t have me forever.” That was more than I meant to say, my throat tightens until tears spill down my face in streams. “So I'm… I’m happy that Aimee is around again. Percy has a cousin to play with, and an aunt and uncle to come by if he needs to get away from us, you know?”

Cass pulls his sleeve up to his wrist and wipes my face. “I know, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “I worry about all that just as much as you. That was why I invited Aimee over-”

“Before she interrupted you to tell us how rich she is,” I mutter. He snickers.

“Yeah. Yeah, I read her as a blowhard from the moment I met her.”

I can’t help laughing out loud at that, wiping the rest of my tears to make way for it. “Blowhard,” I repeat, “is a terrible word.”

“It’s the best word,” he corrects me. “But anyway, I knew… even if you didn’t like her much, you need family in your life.”

Hurt stings me. “I have family.” It’s hurt on his behalf, doesn’t he think I think he’s enough? He blinks and nods.

“Oh, I know. I know, baby, but… I don’t- Y'know? I just know you. You like to have people around, people you love. And you want that for Percy, too.”

“You do know me,” I murmur. He combs his hand through the edges of my hair. 

“I try.”

I wait a few seconds, breathing deep through my mingled emotions. There’s always something more I want to say to him but right now the threat of my sister is shutting me up before I can open my mouth. But Cass notices anyway.

“What is it?”

“I…” I glance up the stairs next to us to make sure Aimee isn’t lurking there. That used to be my spot, actually, Aimee preferred to hide behind doors. Ugh. “I wish we could have more kids, Cass. I wish Percy could have family that wasn’t Aimee. I want him to have people who have his back no matter what, people to spend time with that aren’t us.”

“Hey, whoa. Honey, listen-”

“I can’t, Cass, what we are has cost us so much! I can’t give us a family! I wish we had a normal life, this isn’t fair!”

I start crying again. I hate this. I hate my sister. I hate that she’s Percy’s aunt, she’s all he has if our lives go sideways, if I get my wish and Percy outlives us. I want him to have his own family. I want one that’s our own.

Cass hugs me, and I kind of want to squirm away because I feel like Aimee is here someplace. But I can’t let go of him, I start sobbing into his chest and this is such an uncomfortably familiar ritual that it proves my point. Our lives shouldn’t be this. I wish I could give my son the world and I lose it like this whenever I realise that I just can’t.

“Oh, darling, I know. I know.”

“I always imagined having a huge family,” I murmur into his shirt. “A house just like this and beautiful Sunday dinners. That was my dream, and I’ll never have it.”

“We don’t need it, love. We’re everything to Percy just as we are. He doesn’t know what he could have or should have. He knows us, and now he knows Angélique, and I can see that that’s enough for him right now.”

“But…” I don’t want to believe it, I just want Percy to have the life I always dreamed of, can’t Cass understand? People he loves and trusts and works with. I wanted so much more for him.

“Honey, you cannot give him everything. No one can have everything. Right now? All he sees is a little cousin to play with and a fancy new place to have dinner tonight. He’ll be alright. Any family is good family, baby. I should know. I’ve got the smallest family I could have, and it’s all I need.”

I understand, I guess. I sniffle hard and back away, offering him a nod so he knows I heard, that I do get it. He wipes my face for me again and kisses my forehead.

Then there’s a thud from the living room and all of three silent heartbeats before a howl.

As fucking expected Aimee comes flying out of the kitchen (the kitchen, how did I not see that one?) and blazes between us, skidding into her living room.

“What did your son do to my daughter?” she complains, hauling Angelique back into our field of view. It isn’t even her crying. Cass and I track back into the living room to see Percy sitting on the floor, holding his head back to wail loud enough for the whole hill to hear. He doesn’t look hurt. 

“Percy, hey. Calm down, little one,” Cass insists, settling himself at Percy’s side. I glance at Aimee, tending her daughter like Percy did anything to her. Angélique is watching Percy cry with a mystified expression on her face. 

“I should have been watching,” Aimee whines, stroking Angelique’s hair. “He’s scaring her, being so melodramatic.”

Cass looks up, alarmed. I shrug when he glances at me. That’s Aimee for you. I just hope Percy didn’t hear. I like to let him cry. I always feel better when I get to cry till I’m done.

Cass isn’t quite the same as me that way. “Percaki, look at me. Are you bleeding?”

Percy struggles to control his wailing, jaw quivering as he shakes his head.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

He gives a slow nod.

“Then let’s talk about this, okay? No more tears. Look, look at me.” Cass smudges the tears from Percy’s face and Percy sniffles. My poor baby. “You too, Angélique. Come on. What’s the damage?”

“She broke my plane,” Percy spits, clinging to Cass’s hand. Cass nods. 

“What about you?” he asks Angélique. She turns to him, then to her mother and back.

“I was just playing,” she mumbles. “I didn’t push him.”

“Yes, you did!” Percy wails. “Baba, she pushed me and I fell and broke it!” He erupts into tears again and my heart aches for him. My poor baby! He and his father built that together!

“Tell her to say sorry,” I hiss at my sister.

“She says she didn’t push him,” she grumbles back.

“Well, I believe both of them,” Cass snaps. Percy sniffles beside him. “Angélique, you didn’t mean to break anything, did you?”

She gives her head a rapid shake. “No.”

“See?” Cass tilts Percy’s face towards his and offers a smile. “I know it sucks, but Angélique didn’t mean it. Come get some water, and then you can come back and play with something else, okay? You and I can fix your plane when we get home.”

“Okay,” Percy mumbles.

“Is that okay with you, Angelique?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Percy.”

“It’s okay,” Percy responds thickly. I walk over to them as Cass helps Percy to his feet and guides him into the kitchen.

“Are you okay, my love?” I ask quietly. I don’t want to hear Aimee tell me he’s fine, he’s just being dramatic. Percy isn’t another me for her to bat around, he’s a little boy and he’s just plain upset.

“I brought it to show her and she broke it,” Percy whimpers.

“We’ll fix it, don’t worry.” Cass plucks a glass from the meticulously organised upper cabinet and fills it with tap water. “Or if we can’t, we’ll build a new one.”

Percy looks devastated, mouth hanging open in shock at the very prospect. “I want this one! We built this one already!”

“So it’s done. Isn’t it more fun to make new ones than have an old one lying around?”

Percy looks back into the living room, where Angélique is holding the two biggest pieces of Percy’s plane and getting to click them back together. 

“I want that one,” Percy mumbles. Cass huffs.

“Percy, listen. Angélique is younger than you, and sometimes younger kids make more mistakes than you because they don’t know any better. When accidents happen, we let it go, okay? You can’t make it un-happen, can you?”

“No.”

“But we can make a new one, can’t we?”

Percy kicks his feet and mumbles, “mm-hm.”

“Okay. So drink your water and go play, alright? Angélique looks bored, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah.” He hands back the full glass and takes off, dropping to his knees next to his cousin and asking a question that I don’t quite hear.

“Okay,” Cass says, lifting the glass to stare into it. “Kids,” he scoffs, placing it gently in the sink. 

“I love you.”

“What?” He responds ungracefully, before he smiles and rights himself. “I love you, too.”

“You’re like the answer to every problem.” I can’t believe him sometimes. 

“Well, I do my best,” he says shyly.

“And you do it well. Do I thank you enough?” I know how he’ll answer but I want to ask in case he ever says no.

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “You don’t need to thank me for-”

I stand on my tiptoes and kiss the corner of his lips. “I wanted to. You’re the best family I could have ever asked for.��

He bends down and bundles me into a hug so that I can lay my head on his shoulder. I feel warmth and security with him that I never felt until him. I love him so dearly. And I think Percy and I will get through anything so long as he’s with us.

[dylan-o-yumm]

And it's me again... Angsty anon! Well idk would you write it the last ask I have for now but a s\o dealing with depression? Well yeah... Kinda personal out of my perspective since I kinda deal with it myself but yeah you don't need to write something about it when you don't feel like it..... (I'm awkward and weird sorry...)

(You’re adorable, sweet angsty anon! I too deal with depression and I know how rough things can get, so I hope this helps at least one person through whatever shit life might be throwing their way) 

“Hey, we’re about to head out. You coming?” Nero’s voice snapped you out of your own thoughts as he pulled open your bedroom door and stuck his head inside. You knew he and the Devil May Cry crew had plans to go out for dinner, having scrounged up enough money collectively to treat themselves. A part of you wanted to jump up, get dolled up and go spend the night with all your friends, Nero mostly, but the overwhelming urge to stay inside was too strong for you to fight against.

“Nah, I think I’ll just stay here. I’m not feeling too good.” You tried to sound like you were… okay, clutching your stomach to add to the effect of pretending you were feeling ill. You were lying in bed, the same position you’d been in for majority of the day, cuddled up in the blankets and shielding yourself away from the world. You hadn’t even talked to anyone, having only moved to go to the bathroom or to get a small snack. You knew you weren’t eating properly but you found it to be too much effort to force yourself to eat a full meal. 

“Oh. Are you alright? Do you need anything?” Nero’s concerned tone alarmed you. Just go away, you thought. Having to lie to him only made you feel worse, but you wanted to be alone right now, and possibly for as long as you could be. You felt an overwhelming weight tugging at your chest as if pulling your heart into an endless abyss. All you wanted to do was cry but you couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. You pulled the blanket up higher, hiding your face as you shook your head, not trusting your voice to sound steady and calm when you could already feel the lump forming in your throat. 

Just go away.

Nero sighed and ran a hand through his short, white hair. He knows, you thought. He knows you’re depressed and are shutting yourself off from everyone.Hell, even you knew it. But that didn’t mean you had the power to change it. There wasn’t a switch you could just flip and suddenly feel happy and fine again. You felt an all too familiar burning sensation in your eyes, your vision slowly becoming blurry the longer you looked at the young devil hunter. 

Go away. Please, just go!

“Okay well, you have my number. If you need anything at all just shoot me a text or call… alright?”  Nero sounded disappointed, maybe he was sad he couldn’t spend time with you tonight? Or maybe he didn’t want to be worrying over you while he was meant to be having fun? That thought alone made you bite your lip to stop it from trembling and letting out a sob. You still didn’t speak, nodding meekly and hiding your face even further. Nero smiled politely and nodded once, happy with the gesture as he waved goodbye and closed the door softly behind him.

Don’t leave…

He was already gone. You waited until you couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore before you tossed the blanket off you and sat up, suddenly feeling a little claustrophobic with the heavy blanket covering you. You bought your knees to your chest and hugged yourself tightly as you finally let the tears in your eyes fall freely, your nose tickling as you felt snot sliding down from holding back tears for too long. God, you probably looked like a mess, all snotty and red faced and teary eyed. 

Quiet sobs left your body, shoulders shaking as you finally let out all the emotion you kept hidden for what felt like years. Your hands found their way into your hair, tugging at the strands and massaging your scalp to ease the headache you were no doubt going to get from all the crying. Your sobs got slightly louder, to the point where you didn’t hear the approaching footsteps coming your way. You knew you weren’t loud enough for anyone to hear you though, which you thought was a good thing, until…

“Hey, I forgot to ask. Nico was wondering if she could borrow your jacket? Y’know the one” Nero’s voice startled you as the door suddenly opened and he walked in. The only reason he didn’t realise your tearstained face straight away was because he tripped on said jacket that was on the floor, cursing at the item before bending down to pick it up. While he didn’t notice you straight away, you still didn’t have to time to hide your face, feeling frozen where you sat curled up on the bed. When Nero looked up, you quickly looked down, pressing your knees into your eyes. 

“Hey… Y/n, you alright?” You couldn’t hide your shaking shoulders, or the gross sound of you sniffling the snot back up your nose. Nero sounded so concerned, his footsteps sounding up again, getting closer and closer until you felt a hand press against your back comfortingly. The bed dipped to your side as he lowered himself beside you, stroking your back as he whispered ‘hey, hey, hey’ like he were cooing a crying child when he realised you weren’t just crying, but sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. 

“I thought you were feeling sick. I never would have left you if…” He paused, as if realising something. His tone was a higher pitch than it usually was, again, making you feel like a child but it was also welcoming. Knowing he cared so much to the point where his usually cocky and smooth act was thrown out the window. “wow, I’m… an asshole.” He added, realising that he was saying he was that he was comfortable leaving you if you were sick. He didn’t intentionally mean it that way and you knew it, too. 

“I’m so sorry. I should have noticed sooner. Do you wanna talk about it?” Nero scoots closer, settling for wrapping his arm around you and rubbing your arm as he presses his side against yours. Instead of answering straight away, you pry your face off your knees and turn to hurry your head against his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. You didn’t know it until now but physical contact was helping calm you down a lot, sobs having stopped but the tears were still flowing and you had to keep sniffling to make sure no snot got on his shirt. 

“I don’t even know what it is. I just constantly feel sad and depressed all the time lately.” You stated with a shaky breath. You remembered what Nero came in here to do and suddenly you felt like you were the asshole now. “What am I saying? I’m fine. Ill be fine. Just… you should go with the others to dinner” Though what you said you thought to be true, you felt your heart race with worry when he pulled you off him, thinking he was going to get up and leave. To your surprise and comfort, he was only pulling out his phone from his back pocket, probably texting Nico or Dante that he wasn’t coming with them. 

“Hell no! I’m not leaving you like this. I’m going to stay here with you all night” Nero exclaimed, placing his phone on the bedside table before smiling softly and sweetly at you. You had no energy to fight him on this, knowing how stubborn he was. He didn’t give you any room to talk anyway, quickly pulling you back to him as he lied himself and you down on the bed, letting you find comfort in him however you needed. 

He stroked your hair out of your face and let your head rest on his chest as his other hand held you against his tightly. He was warm and his hold on you made you feel safe. You knew next time you felt like this, instead of hiding away and distancing yourself, you were going to ask for help. You couldn’t let yourself get worse by shutting yourself off, and deep down you knew that asking Nero for help wouldn’t bother him. He loved helping you any way he could and he would continue to do so for as long as he could.

[rogue-barnes-16]

RUSSIAN ROULETTE (Destroyer fic)

Request: just watched Destroyr too nd I'm thirsty for a fic nd saw you're taking requests from it. Can you do a fic where chris goes undercover with the reader instead with erin and when the Russian Roulette shit happens the reader does something to stop it nd chris confronts her later or smthng || idk it's a messy request sorry. || Pls make it anon??? || lol srry XOXO

Pairing: Chris x reader (Destroyer)

Genre: angsty (?) idk how to describe it

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: not actual spoilers (that's a warning), tension, makeout, language

A/N: first of, I feel like I should make this clear again THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS BUT IT IS BASED ON A PART OF A SCENE OF THE MOVIE. Also, DAMN I enjoyed writing this. Also, it soothed the pain caused by the movie (thanks Nicole Kidman, you lovely human being, for destroying my heart). Anyway, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I lay down on the sofa, giving Chris a brief glance to check on him. A while ago, I could have just asked him since all the party noise would have covered our voices, but it all had gotten really quiet.

People had slowly left, and in the house there were just a few people left. Silas, sitting on the armchair; Petra and that other girl, checking their messed up makeup in the mirror; Toby, playing some random video game; Chris, sat right behind Toby, and Arturo, who was coming my way in the moment.

"look what I found" he shook the pack of beers on his right hand, a mischievous grin on his face.

"reinforcements" I extended my hand for him to give me one. "nice, I needed it" I opened the one he gave me and took a sip.

When Arturo made a hesitant attempt to sit besides me, I moved my leg for him to have more room. "looking gorgeous today, Y/n" he said, half cuddling me.

Arturo was kind of pinning over me, I knew it. I sometimes, if I was in a playful mood, would lead him on. He knew I 'was with Chris' —even though we weren't actually together—, so there was nothing else apart from teasing and light flirting.

Chris, however, to pretend, most of the times would play the jealous boyfriend card, but right now he was distracted.

There was someone who was noticing it, though. Silas had his eyes on us, and, if I only had noticed it before, I would have stopped.

But I hadn't.

I jumped at the loud thud that sounded right besides me. When I turned to it, I saw a small gun on the floor.

"Arturo" Silas called the boy besides him. He tilted his head to the gun with a sick smile on his face. "let's see if your time has come?"

The room, now silent, was filled with anxiety and tension.

I tried playing it cool, but the fear in my eyes gave me away. I knew I was being too obvious when Chris decided to intervene.

"fuck it, Arturo" he said carelessly, not looking at anyone, but at the joint he had just rolled. "don't do it" he added, lighting up the joint before giving it a puff.

"it's none of your business Chris" Chris replied at Silas' statement with a gesture of indifference while he let out the smoke. "C'mon Arturo, grow a pair. Don't wanna play?"

I knew things were about to get worse than expected when Arturo got up and grabbed the gun from the floor.

"there he goes" Silas commented, letting out a dark chuckle. "c'mon, come here and look at me in the eye."

I stole a glance at Chris, who was subtly staring at me with almost unnoticeable nervousness in his eyes.

"Wait" all of them turned to me. "he doesn't wanna do it." before Silas could protest, I gave him a knowing smirk "doesn't have what it takes"

"sweetheart, it's done" Silas made himself more comfortable before looking at Arturo again. "someone gotta play now, so go ahead"

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"I wanna play." I stated, standing up. "and I definitely got what it takes" I made my way to then, noticing how Chris' breath hitched, making him swallow the smoke and causing him to cough. "c'mon give me the gun"

Arturo gave me the gun, not before looking at Silas for approval. "Okay sweetheart" the man sitting before me let out a chuckle. "same rules. Gun against your head and eyes on me"

"Silas, c'mon" Petra, who had stayed silent until then, spoke with a trembling voice. "don't- babe, let's drop it."

"Nope, babydoll" the man replied. "c'mon Y/n, make the roulette spin, will you?" it took me a second, but I managed to made the cylinder spin without looking at it. "atta girl."

"baby, quit it" I heard Chris voice, but I didn't really listen to it. "leave it, c'mon" I took a deep, shaky breath, and, when I felt my eyes watering, I pulled the trigger. "Y/n!"

Nothing happened.

I exhaled, tossing the gun to the floor and shutting my eyes. "Y/n, sweetheart, you're nuts." Silas started to laugh, giving me a surprised look. "it was loaded. You can't let people tell you what to do like that" everyone started to chuckle lightly too.

"it has three bullets inside" I turned to Chris, who was holding the gun with the cylinder open. "holy fuck" he managed to feign a laugh and I exited the room, feeling my whole body shaking.

"Chris, go get your crazy girl" Silas said, not able to stop laughing. "go and fuck, she'll calm down!"

I heard heavy steps behind me before a large hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into a dark room. "what were you thinking" Chris hissed, shutting the door. "what the fucking hell, Y/n?"

"he-" I chewed my lip harsh enough to draw blood, while my back rested against the wall. "there was three bullets, you said it yourself. I knew there was a trick."

"so what?!" he hit the wall besides me, taking a shaky breath "it was damn obvious there was a fucking trick. That's not a reason for you to play the Russian fucking Roulette"

"what if he had killed himself?" I asked, hugging myself in a vain attempt to refrain my goosebumps.

"better him than you"

"Silas gave him the gun because of me. 'cause he was flirting with me" I explained "I didn't want his death in my conscience" I replied, gripping my forearms.

"yeah? Well I didn't want a bullet in your fucking skull and I almost got it" he bit back, choking on the last few words. "do something like that again and you're out"

"you can't fucking do that" I stated. "we're undercover, you can't make me leave."

"fuckin' bet, baby" he growled, trying to pass by me and open the door. He couldn't, though since I put myself between him and the door. "move your ass out of my way, Y/n"

"you really wanted one of the criminals we're chasing to get killed?"

"I swear to fucking God Y/n-"

"Tell me" I shoved him back for him to get away from the door "that you wouldn't have done something like that if you thought it was the right thing to do" when he, instead of replying, growled under his breath with his eyes on the ceiling, I repeated, "fuckin' tell me you wouldn't-"

We heard the door's lock clicking open and I panicked, afraid someone might have heard us.

"fuck"

I took a glance at the door, which was being opened.

"shit" When I turned to Chris again, I barely had time to process that he, with his hands gripping my hips, was backing me against the wall before hurriedly crashing his lips against mines.

"Hey guys- Okay" Toby stood there, holding onto the door frame, for a long minute, watching us making out. "they're fine!" he yelled, turning back to the room where everyone was. "I think they're gonna fuck!- sorry for the interruption, I'll give you some... Privacy"

With that, the door closed again and we were left alone in the dark. It was only when we were sure we were safe, that Chris let go of me.

We stood close to each other, breathing heavily. From my current angle, the moonlight made the tears in his face gleam.

Those tears that I didn't even know were there. Those tears that kept running down his cheeks nonstop.

"what are you fucking looking..."

He went silent when my arms wrapped around him, gripping the back of his jacket with both of my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I whispered. "but I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. Arturo didn't deserve that shit, you know it"

"you didn't either" he circled my hips, pulling me flush against him, like I was going to banish. "Goddammit, Y/n. You didn't either" he muffled a brief sob by burying his face deep into the crook of my neck. "God fucking damnit."

"nothing happened, Chris" I mumbled in a shaky breath, bringing him impossibly closer to me. "I'm fine"

"you scared the shit out of me" he muttered under his breath, letting himself rest against me. "I was so fucking terrified-"

"we're alright" I whispered, pulling away to wipe his tears.

After a beat of silence, he leaned on me an planted a tender, careful kiss on my lips. And it was easy to tell that this one wasn't feigned. This one had Chris' actual feelings on it.

"what was that?" I muttered, slightly confused.

"two weeks deep into this and you already put your life on the line three times" he explained with his jaw clenched. "I'll better come clean 'bout my feelings before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "you... Don't have to- we can just keep pretending, it's fine with me" he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the hem of my jacket. "but, just in case, I needed you to know"

I nodded again without letting any word escape my lips. He waited for an answer that didn't come, and after a few seconds, he cleared his throat again and walked to the bed.

I frowned at him sitting on it. "we should wait a bit." he explained "they think we're fucking so-"

"it's gonna make it more complicated" I blurted out, half wining because, damn, I wanted to be with him. To actually be with him.

"why?" he questioned, resting his elbows over his thighs. "because we'll get too attached? Because we'll get hurt if something happens to the other?"

Those questions made me angry because they were, in fact, the reasons I was going to give him. Now that he had said them out loud, I realized they were stupid reasons.

We were already too attached to each other. We would get hurt anyway if something happened to one another.

"Y/n, I need you to say something"

I walked to him, sat on his lap, and caressed both of his cheeks with my hands. "Okay. Let's do this" I replied, pulling him into a kiss that was, by no means, meant to be rough, but ended up being it.

"Listen" he pulled away for an instant to take off his jacket and mine. "don't you fucking dare to play the Russian Roulette ever again."

"Okay" I pulled the tee off my body and tossed it to the floor. "I won't"

"promise you won't do anything stupid" he demanded, leaning to kiss my jaw, just to pull away to throw his shirt besides mine.

"I promise"

"Good" he cupped my cheeks, bringing me closer to kiss my lips. "cause I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay undercover if something happens to your reckless ass"