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carriagelamp · 4 years

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Book Review - Summer Summary 2020

I didn’t get around to doing an individual post for the books I read in June/July/August, so I decided to choose a dozen that I read over the summer... I’d separate the wheat from the chaff for you so to speak. Though like you’re about to find out, that doesn’t necessarily mean they were all good by any means...

Crave

My girlfriend got this for me to “tide me over until Midnight Sun”. Between you and me, I think she was taking the piss. Anyway, Crave is very... standard fare paranormal YA school romance with the added flare of being written by an adult erotica writer, meaning the rhythm and tone of this novel is fucking bonkers. If you want to read the novel without reading the novel, just take Twilight and the entire Vampire Academy series, shove them in a blend, and force down the sludge you get from that. Normal Average Girl Goes To Secret School In Alaska For Vampire, Werewolves and Dragons. That’s this book. It is so big and so so so bad. I finished it out of spite, please don’t do that to yourself. Unless you are really craving (hurr hurr) some top tier trashy paranormal romance, in which case... no judgment.

The Last Firehawk

The Last Firehawk is a Scholastic “Branches” series, written for beginning readers (grade 1-3ish, depending on the child’s reading level). It has short stories, big text, and awesome pictures on every page. Guys. I unironically am adoring this series. It’s simple and is introducing children to a number of classic elements in the fantasy quest genre, but it is so charming. Friends Tag and Skyla discover a firehawk egg, and species that is supposed to have disappeared long ago. When Blaze hatches from it, the three are tasked with going out and finding the magical ember stone which was hidden long ago by the firehawks and which could be used to defeat the evil vulture Thorn and his dark magic... I read the first two books to second graders who ate it up and read the next four books because I personally wanted to continue the series. If you have young readers in your life (or just want a fun kid adventure) then please try these they’re the literary equivalent of nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie.

Lupin III: World’s Most Wanted #3

All the kind people that still follow my tumblr and haven’t tried to murder me because of my Lupin obsession are not going to be surprised by this one. I finally read one of the manga for this series and honestly I’m delighted. Somehow even hornier than the show, but hilariously funny. I felt like I was reading a more adult version of Spy Vs Spy. It’s a bunch of short, individual bits/adventures with lots of visual gags and an artstyle that is really different and delightful.

River of Teeth / Taste of Marrow (American Hippo series)

I’ve talked about River of Teeth before, but I finally finished the American Hippo duology and need to sing its praise. This is an alternate history series composed of two novellas that explore the question What would have happened if the States had decided to import hippos as livestock...? Anyways, my pitch for you: queer hippo cowboys. That’s all it took for me to read it. You have a gay gunslinger who loves his hippo to death, a nonbinary explosives-expert / poisoner who is the main love interest, a fat con artist who spoils her hippo and is the only voice of reason in this entire series, and a latina mother-to-be who is the scariest assassin in the entire series and is obviously scheming. The four of them are brought together on a job to deal with the Mississippi’s feral hippo problem.

IT’S A QUEER HIPPO COWBOY HEIST NOVEL GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M STILL TALKING AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST GONE TO READ THIS YET.

Petals to the Metal (The Adventure Zone series)

The graphic novel adaptation to the McElroy family’s DND podcast The Adventure Zone. Most of you are probably aware of this? It’s a great adaptation, it hits all the important beats, shows off the characters really well, and still gets lots of good gags in even while condensing entire arcs into single book stories. This one is probably my favourite so far just because Petals to the Metal was one of my favourite arcs in the show... but you can also see how the art has improved and the chaos of the race is fun to see drawn out.

If you like The Adventure Zone but haven’t tried the graphic novels yet -- would recommend! If you’ve always wanted to listen to The Adventure Zone but don’t have time for such a long series or struggle to focus on podcasts then pick up the first book of this series (Here There Be Gerblins) and try reading it! It really is an enjoyable adaptation.

Pony to the Rescue (Pony Pals series)

I continued my April/May theme of reading old-school chapter book series to combat Covid Brain Fry, so I picked up a few Pony Pals books. I read these as a kid and always enjoy them -- there’s just something so appealing to a child about having a horse. It gives your child characters a level of independence and ability to explore that you wouldn’t get otherwise. These books definitely read young, but they were nostalgic to revisit.

Small Spaces

A really cool middle grade horror novel I picked up. Maybe it’s because I live around a lot of corn fields, but farm/scarecrow themed horror absolutely does it for me. One evening, after seeing a woman try to destroy a strange, old book, eleven year old Ollie doesn’t stop to think, instead stealing the book and running. That’s how she becomes wrapped up in the strange, sinister story of a cursed family and creature called the Smiling Man that seems to live out in the foggy fields. While unsettling, Ollie tries to remind herself that it’s just a story... but this becomes more challenging when her school bus breaks down one day out their own set of fields, and a fog is rolling in...

“Avoid large spaces. Stick to small.”

Snot Girl #1 - #2

A Canadian graphic novel series by the creator of the Scott Pilgrim series! I love his work so I decided to give Snotgirl a try, even though it’s not generally my genre. I’m glad I did! First book took a while for me to get into, but by the time I hit the second I was really wrapped up in the mystery and character development. Snotgirl is about Lottie, a self-consumed fashion blogger whose biggest struggles are dealing with her allergies, frustration with her fellow-blogger friends, and how entirely her self-esteem is tied to her “beauty” and how people view her. But everything shifts in strange and horrifying ways when Lottie starts taking a new allergy medication, meets a new friend... and then witnesses that girl’s death. Or does she?

Seriously, or does she? I have no idea, I need to read the third book. This book is full of intrigue, complicated relationships, murder (or not?), and a healthy dose of magical realism to keep you guessing. If you like slice-of-life, crime, and abstract reality then this series is world a try. Plus the art is gorgeous.

Summer Wars #1 - #2

I recently rewatched Summer Wars (still one of my favourite movies) and decided to read the two-book manga adaptation. It was a really neat little adaptation. The creator of the movie gave the writer free range to tweak things to fit better in a manga format, which means some movie elements were allowed to fade into the background, whereas other aspects were fulled into the forefront and fleshed out to a greater degree. It was very cool, it kept the same story but gave you new things to think about which I wasn’t expecting. Reading this as a stand alone works just fine, but honestly if you’ve never watched the movie Summer Wars you should give it a try! It’s a great mix of slice-of-life, sprawling family dynamics that I relate to a little too well, cyber adventures, and fantasy. Super feel good.

This One Summer

Okay, last graphic novel, I swear. This One Summer was... weird and intense. It’s a coming-of-age Canadian graphic novel that follows a pair of pre-teens who meet up like they do every year at their family’s summer cottages. You see them both in the awkward phases between childhood and growing up to become teenagers, as they’re confronted with things like maturity, friendship, self-esteem, family problems, and sexuality. A beautiful read, but probably the heaviest out of all the books on my list.

Wild Thornberrys Novelization

I rewatched The Wild Thornberrys movie with my girlfriend earlier this year, and decided I wanted to hunt down the chapter book novelization because I’m kind of a sucker for novelizations. Honestly, this was about what you would expect from the era. 90s/00s novelizations, especially young novelizations, are generally just a transcript of the movie without much thought or effort put into them to make them anything but. That’s what this was. It was fine, and it really let me revisualize the entire movie, but honestly you’re probably better off just rewatching the movie unless you also really deeply love The Wild Thornberrys.

The Willoughbys

I saw that Netflix had done a funky looking adaptation of The Willoughbys and I decided I needed to read the book first before watching the movie. This was a little bizarre, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Over all, I think it was a net-positive experience. It’s an obvious satire on classic children’s novels, especially the likes of Mary Poppins (real Mary Poppins, not the Disney version) and while a little heavy-handed, it does a Series of Unfortunate Events vibe that redeems it. The story is about a group of horrible children (The Ruthless Willoughbys) who decide they are sick of their parents and would rather become Worth Orphans... and to do that, they’re going to have to dispose of their inconvenient parents, obviously. Conveniently their parents are also sick of having children and decide to do away with them as well. The Willoughbys sets up three (or four?) different subplots that are gradually woven together through a series of schemes and exploits. It’s definitely more ruthless (hurr hurr) than the Netflix version, which tried to make the children more sympathetic, and in some ways I think that’s a definite point in the novel’s favour. I’m not sure I would go out of my way to recommend it, but it was a fun romp if you want something short and off the wall (and a lot more fleshed out than the Netflix version).

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goldeneyedgirl · 4 years

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the fic that does not exist

What you are about to read was the first Twilight fic I posted. In all honesty, I deleted it two weeks after posting it and repurposed it for my degree into a 21,000 word novella that I’m still trying to turn into a decent YA book because, frankly, it has potential and I want to.

But gosh, do I love the original version because I can see exactly where it was supposed to go and it remains one of the best things I’ve written. Because it turned into something that got me my degree. A precursor to how I approached Shadow to Light. To Alice always been a tiny bit bonkers in my fic.

It will never be reposted on AO3 or FF.net. What is posted below is probably 75% of the original. Some parts/lines were removed but nothing that affects the plot. There is a 50/50 chance I may delete this in the future.

But yeah, from circa 2015 (what the absolute fuck, I’ve been at this for five years?!), have “R”.

It begins on a Wednesday. She runs out the front door, in bare feet and a nightdress that is too short, and she keeps running until she reaches Dr Cullen's house.

("It's Aro, Carlisle. We need to find the others, we can fix this.")

Dr Cullen brings her inside and Mrs Cullen gives her a glass of orange juice. They ask her a lot of questions, and she trusts them until the paramedics come to the door and she drops the glass, cutting foot badly and she hopes she bled all over Mrs Cullen's ugly rug.

(She doesn't scream or cry in the ambulance. She answers their questions politely, and apologises for getting blood on the gurney.)

She is put in a tiny cubicle to wait, a nurse cleaning and bandaging her cut foot. She asks for a glass of water the nurse never brings. And then, he's there. Too-long blonde hair, stooped stance, too thin and hollow looking, the circles under his eyes darker than his eyes.

("Jasper," she whispers. He doesn't hear her. He does when she calls out to him, and tries to leave the cubicle. She starts to scream for him when the nurses appear out of nowhere, and hold her down, slide the syringe into her and even as she's crying for him to save her, her world is turning white and quiet. And when she wakes up, she can't quite remember the name on her tongue, the face blurred in her memory.)

Her mother unlocks the door sometime after two, and carries in a tray. Milk, a sandwich and dozens of tiny round pills.

"It's time to eat," her mother says simply, placing the tray on her desk.

She watches her mother fuss around her room, making the bed, gathering the laundry. Doing her duty, and nothing more. There is never an explanation, never comfort.

Just obligation.

Her mother hates the way she stares, with her eyes too big and too knowing. She always thought a mother's love was infinite, eternal and complete. Now she has found the well tapped barren and dry, and she finds it difficult to grieve for that.

When she thinks of a mother, it is not this sour woman who pins her like a butterfly with shame and pity and resentment. No, the mother she images has laughing eyes and hair the colour of caramel. A woman who fixes, soothes, comforts and loves. Who smells of summer herbs and fresh linen, and a laugh like bells.

There's so little to do, now everything has been taken from her. Instead, she sinks into her tiny garden, gathering the pots around her until she can pretend, the scent of herbs thrown into the air, and she watches through the railings. She sees a lot. She sees Miss Hale stealing kisses from the McCarty boy, but turns him away in front of witnesses.

(It upsets and frustrates her, more than she can explain. She watches Miss Hale go out in expensive dresses with men too old for her, watches the dark cars pull up out the front of the prim and proper Hale residence. And every night, she waits. Waits for Miss Hale to get home safe, always waiting and listening for any cry for help.)

The McCarty boy sees her watching, and waves to her every time, with a cheerful grin and a wink. She waves back and blows a playful kiss when she knows Miss Hale is watching.

(She hasn't found her prince; she doesn't get much of a chance to look for him, locked away in her tower. But until she finds him, the McCarty boy could be her knight and rescue her, in a pinch.)

Her dreams are nonsensical, fragments of something larger that she doesn’t know how to decipher.

She dreams of running like the wind, of laughter and happiness. Of her hand clasped around another, but she cannot glimpse a face. Just a presence that anchors her.

She dreams of her hand slipping free and she stumbles, falling an impossible distance. Then there is mud and smoke and blood, and she is screaming hoarsely. She scrambles to her feet, and it is hard to run, the plants and mud tangling her feet. Under the smoke, she smells decay and mud. And she is trapped in her own grave, the darkness a weight upon her.

The smells from her dreams – of blood and smoke – hang heavily in the room when she jerks away from those haunting visions, enough that she thinks she can actually smell them. It’s just her imagination, she tells herself, but in the darkness of her bedroom, with the full moon hanging in the sky, it’s hard to believe it. That the stench isn’t there, blurring the lines of nightmares and memories.

She sneaks out during the summer fair, in a dress that is too long, and she didn't realise how much she has faded away, as she knots the straps tighter. The night is warm, and really, no one is going to notice her.

The fairy lights are woven through the trees, and music is playing softly. Laughter, chatter, fills the park, and it is magical. She wants to live in this moment forever.

He finds her sitting on the front steps of the library, peeling rind from the orange, her tongue catching the droplets of juice, her eyes closed in enjoyment. She is magnificent, with the ribbon in her hair, the oversized dress. She is gaunt, pale, like a tiny ghost and he is entranced and he doesn't know why.

(She welcomes him with a smile; he tastes like cigarettes and stewed coffee, she tastes like oranges and something bitter. Hands slide into pants, under skirts, and for her, it is salvation. For him, it is a drop of water in the middle of a desert. Gone all too soon and never again reclaimed.)

He buys her a blue paper flower that she tucks behind her ear, and she traces her fingers over his track marks so lovingly, he is surprised that they don't fade away.

Dr Cullen is kind to her, but her outburst so many months ago is still fresh in his mind, she can tell. He touches her gingerly, pity in his gaze at the black and blue shadows over her limbs.

(He sees finger prints colouring her hips, from her sweet, lovely prince the night of the summer festival. She wears them with honour, and she meets the good doctor's surprised glance with a cheeky smile.)

After the shot, the world is soft and her mother speaks to Dr Cullen, their words a dull hum. Nothing will change, nothing ever does. She will be returned to her tower, to sleep and pills and watching, for another twenty-seven days, until she is brought back to Dr Cullen.

She has one magnificent nightmare, where she is the princess at a ball, safe in the arms of the prince. But then there is nothing but blood, ghosts with scarlet eyes, her sweet tower a darkened dungeon, and bodies, oh the bodies. Of her beloved prince, her sweet knight, the ones that she watches over. Bodies split like overripe fruit, splayed open like butchered meat.

She screams until she wakes, her throat hoarse and raw and on fire, her mother waiting for her in the shadows, to send her back to the dungeons, the red-eyed monsters and the ocean of blood in weeping silence.

Sleep isn't coming, even with the pills on her tongue, with only water lining her stomach. She gives herself a paper cut and watches the bead of blood well up on her pale finger, and it is obscene and unexpected, and she watches it roll down her finger, over her knuckle with parted lips.

When she can dredge up enough energy, she writes a list. Of names, of people whose faces in her memory are hazy and indistinct. Of things that might have happened and things that did happen, but somewhere else. Of things she cannot allow herself to forget, even as the memories and details fall through her fingers.

Everything is blurring together, and she cannot put it right. She stitches memories together with justifications and logic, but their edges are still uneven, ill-fitting. Nothing is truly wrong – unless you count the crazy girl locked in a tower – but it isn’t right either.

Faces tumble through her memory, but she cannot remember the things she was supposed to never ever forget.

She leaps, leaps to freedom with a paper flower in her hair. It is better than flying. She leaps without regret, with sheer determination and the knowledge that there is nothing left for her in this place.

(The pills are bitter, the tower is quiet. Her hair floats loose around her face, not long, but no longer short. She didn't regret the loss of Mary-Alice in 1919, she doesn't mourn her now.)

The ground is hard, harder than she ever imagined. And she is just a doll of porcelain, already cracked at the seams. She shatters perfectly, the flower tumbling from her hair.

They bury her on a Friday, and it rains. A modest gathering of associated people in black, over an open grave, the only words that are offered are from a man that knows nothing more about Alice than a long illness that curdled her brain and sapped her body.

(Rosalie Hale came home at dawn with a torn dress and haunted eyes, but only screamed at the sight of the broken girl underneath the old oak tree. Emmett McCarty came running, and wept for the sweet dead girl who hid behind the railings and watched; for the necklace of bruises around Rosalie's pale throat. For a sense of utter wrongness he cannot put into words.)

A boy with dead eyes and thin arms waits at the back of the group, clutching a single orange and a bunch of flowers. He stares at the hole in the ground, saying nothing, but leaves his offerings on the fresh dirt with a reverence for something much greater than a sick girl. He is resigned to hopelessness that his salvation has gone, and all that lingers is the memory of enormous blue eyes and a sweet touch.

(Jasper Whitlock pushes aside the roses from the Cullens, the sunflowers from the Masens, the lilies from the Swans and nestles the orange in the dirt. His flowers were plucked from a garden, snow-white daisies and tiny blue flowers he cannot name - Forget-Me-Nots that will outlive anything else left behind.)

Her mother studies the grave sternly, smoothing down the hair of her younger daughter, and accepts the sympathies graciously. Her own pink carnations are already drooping over the headstone, as if they recognize her apathy to her child's fate.

(Emmett McCarty brings three bright yellow tulips in shaking hands. He tried, tried so hard to bring her back, even as his hands felt the sharp edges of bone under cold flesh. It was him that peeled the torn piece of paper from her hand, expecting a suicide note, her final words, but the curling handwriting offers not an explanation but two words 'Aro. Volturi.' And those are words that send a spike of fear through him and he doesn't know why. The note is still in his jeans' pocket and he doesn't know whom to tell.)

The rain turns the cemetery to mud and people begin to leave, petals dragged from stems with the ferocity. By winter, her grave will blend in with the rest, grass having grown over the dirt. Her family will leave her to her quiet sleep. It will be only a shattered girl, a broken prince and a confused knight that keep vigil at her grave.

(Esme Cullen buys pink roses and tries not to cry as she sits alone in her car. She truly doesn't know why, but there is something else there, just under the surface that she cannot quite decipher, that leaves her sobbing for the girl that saw no other way out than throwing herself from her tower, and all that Esme can do is offer pink roses and regret.)

She opens her eyes. And she screams.

(There is no more fear; just purest rage, sharpest anger. She will have her retribution and it will be sweet.)

#the fic that does not exist #nope #text-based mass hallucinations #hah #hallucinations #relevent #establishing my extensive efforts as team get jasper laid #there's actually like five fics with variations on this theme #ahh #hyperfixations #i think it's variation two where human!alice and human!maria both remember everything and alice beats the everloving shit out of her #in a denny's parking lot #look i had to file 189 unnamed documents today my brain is shot

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telltheworld-phff · 4 years

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Chapter 49: Atrévete a soñar

Harry hadn’t anticipated that his girlfriend pregnancy would be hard for him as well. He didn’t want to use this card as he knew that a million thoughts were crossing Carol’s mind, and she might or might not have had the time to go over them and come to terms herself of this big life changing moment of their lives due to her completely packed work schedule... and she was the one growing a tiny human from scratch. It was her body handling all the changes that came with it.

He had made a promise that he’d do everything he possibly could to make everything as comfortable as possible for her. She wouldn’t be in need of anything on his watch; he made sure to keep her refrigerator full of healthy food and lots of snacks that she could pack and take to the office with her – sometimes going to the store himself -, he had asked one of his drivers to be alert to any calls or texts from Carol, as he was now on duty to use Harry’s private car to take her to and from work. She was getting nauseous when using the tube and he promptly suggested this new arrangement – which surprisingly, she had accepted without a fight.

He also made sure he was present on her daily life. Calling every day that they were apart and stopping by her place every other day. Sometimes she’d ask him to stay and sometimes she didn’t. Harry didn’t mind all the work to keep the ball rolling on his duty and job and to take care of his girlfriend and baby, nothing was as hard as to deal with Carol nowadays.

She was picking fights on the silliest stuff and that was driving him completely bonkers. He didn’t seem to win no matter what he tried and that besides being frustrating as fuck, also was tiring and annoying. He had to remember that she wasn’t like this all the time nor she would be after the baby was out, but the Prince was seriously considering that this baby would be their one and only child.

For the time being, he had nothing to do but get used to Carol’s mood swings by each passing day. Every day was a surprise where he didn’t know which Carol he’d get. The sweet one, the teary-eyed one, the bitch one or the wicked witch of the west one. He couldn’t deny that sometimes it was difficult as fuck to keep up with her snappy and bitchy attitude for no reason whatsoever.

The cycle seemed to be: she’d bitch him and then start crying because she didn’t really mean it. Or whenever he did something good for her (God forbid he sent flowers to her office just because!), she’d say that he was way too overbearing and fussy.

“Women get pregnant every day and everywhere in the world without your suffocating habits and they end up just fine without your overwhelming concern and need to keep me under your watch all the time.” she had said once.

Just to start crying right after and say that lots of women also yearned for their partner’s support and most didn’t have it at all during the pregnancy. And that he was just by her side, by choice, taking care of them. Loving and cherishing them, regardless of this being an unplanned pregnancy and that she was a heartless and mean bitch while he had all the best intentions on his heart.

Needless to say the couple were arguing more now than ever and most of the time Harry would take the blame or excuse himself out of the room to take a deep breath and to remember that his Carol wasn’t like this.

It also felt very weird to argue with an overly emotional pregnant lady.

He tried to remember that this was just a very hormonal version of the woman he loved. Also a test to see if what he felt for her would come out stronger after this trying time. It’s easy to love someone when everything is fine, but true love is proved when the wind is blowing hard and you have not choice but hold onto each other to make sure you (and her) are safe.

He knew that she was stressed with her Masters degree, still keeping top grades whilst having a full time job and working a scary amount of hours every week (which he had already asked her to take it a little bit slow) and also travelling with her project.

He did want her to take a break and take it easy. If it was up to him, Carol would spend her days resting and sleeping to her heart’s content – as she always complained about how sleepy and tired she felt – but wouldn’t dare to even think about suggesting about quitting her job. She’d throw a massive fit and say that she would keep earning her own money as she didn’t need or want his thank you very much.

Some days, and those were rare, Harry was lucky enough to get glimpses of his girlfriend – and that’s what helped to take a relieved breath: knowing somewhere deep down that ugly surface was his sweet and loving girlfriend.

She usually would ask for very weird combinations of food – which he’d always go fetch for her; and have an insatiable sex drive — that he’d be more than happy oblige; and apologize non-stop for being a bitch on steroids to him.

He would forgive her – of course, as there wasn’t anything to really forgive her for - and they would get to chat and try to plan their future as her bump would only grow from now on and they needed to strengthen their relationship and become a real team to face, first and foremost, their parents and then the Institution Harry belonged to.

“What do you want to do?” Harry asked in one of the few blissful nights where they hadn’t argued over meaningless things. They were relaxing on his bed, after an afternoon full of amazing sex that left both of them exhausted. He was lying on his back and had his hands leisurely caressing her thighs.

“Obviously I want you around and to keep the baby.” she was eating ice cream straight from the box. “The big question is: what can we do?”

“Well… I don’t even know what our options really are. Everything I think I know is just wishful thinking. We would need to face a meeting with the Firm and its minions to know for sure. I know that my father and grandmother will demand a wedding.” he side-looked at her, half expecting to have a flying spoon over his head.

“I really don’t want to get married on these circumstances.” she replied and he waited for her to finish. “I do want to get married someday but not just because you knocked me up. It’s the 21st century after all.”

“Although I am part of and represent an Institution that is stuck ten centuries behind. But never mind.”

They both laughed at that.

“I will ask permission for you to move in with me. Don’t think gran will oppose much to that as Kate and Will did it. Before you start your feminist rant...” he laughingly cut her speech, knowing that she’d come up with something to refute. “I know that you love your flat and that it is comfortable enough for the two of you and that you can pay all the bills with money to spare but...” he pecked her lips, to distract her – lest she started to yell at him after a perfect day - and stole some of her vanilla ice cream, making sure to avoid the weird toppings she added in there. “It’s not safe. For any of us. And if we would try and make it safe, it’d cost way more than renting a moving truck and a storage unit for your things as obviously we don’t need new furniture here, except for baby things.”

He could actually hear her mind running wild with thoughts and ways to refuse his offer.

“At Kensington we already have the privacy, the security system, bullet-proof windows, armored cars and 24/7 people on call whenever he or she starts screaming in the middle of the night and we need a rest.”

She smacked his shoulder playfully.

“But…” he continued. “If Gran says we can’t stay here, then I would gladly buy us a house. And pay for the security system and features.”

“You’re insane.” she stated.

“Why you say that?” he was confused.

“Buying a house just for this...”

“”This” Carolina” - he pointed his finger between them to emphasize his point - “is my family and I very much intend to be close by even though you seem to not stand to look at me for more than a few seconds these days. You would help me choose somewhere suitable for us, that has everything we need, and then we would move in together and not marry right away as it seems to be your desire.”

“Why do I sense there are other options that you’re hiding from me?”

“Well… The options of what we will be advised to do are endless. If we start playing “what ifs” and imagining scenarios that might be presented to us, we’d be here all night. There are, though, some options that stand out from these possibilities… For example: I might have to renounce my title.”

She had a shocked expression on her face.

“Says that Pa and Gran demand a wedding and we say that we don’t want to marry under pressure. We might be denied the request of you moving in. So then I’d need to move out and with that – no wedding, kicked out – the press will have a field day, change the public’s view on me and as I’d just be the prince who tarnished the name of the family, again mind you…” he laughed and continued. “Thank heavens Will and Kate have already two children to claim the throne and out goes Harry.” he joked.

“I’m sorry.” she said, already drying the tears after what he said.

He talked about it as if it was a joke but being part of royalty were what made Harry who he was. Give up on it because of her wishes was a very hard thing to do. She considered in that moment if she shouldn’t let go of her stubbornness and just get married so he’d get to keep everything that was rightfully his.

“In that scenario our child wouldn’t have a place in the succession line. We would have more freedom. This part is what I like the most of this option.”

“What do you want to do?” she asked him sincerely.

“Honestly I’d like to marry you. Pressure or not, if you were up to it we would go to the town hall tomorrow.” he waited until the shocked expression on her face faded. “We could live somewhere else than Kensington – don’t care much for that part. I don’t want our children to have titles. it’s a fucking burden to bear, but he or she will be upgraded to prince or princess whenever father is King anyway.”

“Do you think our marriage would work? I personally don’t think I’d be able to face a divorce. I want all of ‘until death us do part’.” she finished the ice cream and left the empty box on Harry’s bedside table and turned to look at him.

“Of course it would…” she looked at him pointedly and asked him to think with his mind and not heart. “Ok… thank you for the reality check. I think that we are very good to and for each other. Relationship is something you build and take care of each day. As long as we’re both committed to our success, I do believe we could go forever. We’re both children from divorced parents and I think we agree that we wouldn’t want that for our children. But also we wouldn’t want an unhealthy environment for them to grow up at, just like we did. So if it came to a point where our relationship became toxic, we would need to separate our ways.”

“That’s a more sensible response Mr. Wales.” she pecked his lips again.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for us to keep guessing what might happen. It’s way too many options. It’ll drive us crazy... I would rather think and chose something that is actually given to us to think about.”

“Do you think you can have an appointment with The Queen after my 12th week milestone?” she was biting her lips as a nervous trait.

“I shall see to it.” he answered.

“Then we will be presented with options and decide what’s best for our family.”

“Ok...” he helped her to lie down. She was wearing one of his pajamas shirts and her ten-week bump showing. He caressed it and then placed a soft kiss on it.

“I do want to tell my mom first. Can we?”

“We can do whatever you want, darling.”

“So after we pass that milestone, I will call her and then we will sit with The Queen to discuss.”

“In the meantime I will do my best to keep you hidden.” he said.

“Which won’t work as we have Tommy’s Christening to attend.” she laughed.

“And are you OK with that?” he was still caressing her bump. “I know that you want to go, but don’t you think it’d be better if you stayed home? Or maybe just attended the reception afterwards? There’s a great chance of being spotted. Are you ready for it? Your life as you know it will be forever changed… and for that I am deeply sorry.”

“Well… I don’t want to miss it and sooner or later I will be spotted. We won’t arrive together or sit together during the service. But I do think the press will put 1+1 together and link me to all other photos… As I will be the only unknown person there. And I know what I’ve signed up for upon agreeing to be your girlfriend and carrying your child. No one will ever be ready for that. And I will need to rely on you a lot.” she sighed.

(…)

Carol had asked Hailey to design something for as she had no idea what to wear on a Christening. She had been flattered when Lara had sent an invitation that said “Honorary godmother” for her, she truly wasn’t expecting an invitation to such an intimate and formal event.

She was at her sister’s studio – which was a spare room at her house – surrounded by lots of fabrics, sketches, pictures and at least three sewing machines. This was the last fitting of the pink dress Hailey had said would work for a morning event.

“You really should stop eating junk food Carolina.” Hailey said when noticed that the dress wasn’t closing as smoothly as it was three weeks before. “You’re getting chubby.”

Concentrating on not laughing or spilling the beans, she simply nodded.

“Thank goodness the Christening is in two days or I’d have to loosen up this dress, again.” Hailey said clearly irritated. “Never show up on time on fitting days and when you do show up, you’ve gained weight. Good Lord.” she mumbled to herself and when finished, she let Carol look at herself in the mirror.

She was in awe. Even barefoot, without her hair done and make up-free she was feeling pretty. Which was a first ever since she learned she was carrying her bundle of joy. The dress had 7/8 sleeves, the front had a draped finish and the skirt that ended just above her knees was made of feathers in the same colour.

“It’s amazing, Hailey. Thank you” Carol said turning around to see. “I think I want you designing my whole wardrobe.”

“Let’s not get carried away, shall we?” Hailey joked. “Now you just need shoes and accessories. Please don’t ruin my creation.”

“I might stop by at Harrod’s later and see if I can find anything.”

“Maybe go with a big hat to cover your face?” her sister offered knowing that Carol would have her life turned upside down any moment now.

“That’s exactly what I am going for.”

(…)

Carol had asked for a day off on Friday before the christening and packed everything she was going to need for the weekend affair. All godparents (Harry, Skippy’s sister Victoria, Lara’s brother Henry, Eugenie and Jake Warren) were to check in at the luxurious Luton Hoo Hotel for a welcome luncheon and to rehearse (Carol didn’t understand why a Christening would need a rehearsal but didn’t comment on it). Then the other guests would arrive on Saturday at noon for the Service and then attend a brunch afterwards. The godparents were expected to stay at the hotel and enjoy it’s spa, checking out only on Sunday evening after a thank you dinner.

Carol had to pack way too many outfits and right now she was fitting well into only half of her clothes because of her bump. She was accompanying Harry for the three day stay as per Lara’s request. The brunette had bought a small golden bracelet with Tommy’s name engraved as a gift and hoped his parents would like it.

Harry asked Bill to carry Carol’s luggage to the waiting car while he kissed his girlfriend and – when he checked they were truly alone - her bump.

“You both ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes! I need to see that little red headed cherub!” she said happily.

They went to the car, both sitting on the back seats, buckling up and talking animatedly about the party and Harry explaining what was expected of her. This was Carol’s first formal encounter with people he had known his whole life. Most of them were daughters and sons of his parents’ friends and they all have been a tight knit group ever since they were born.

Skippy and Lara had opted for a small gathering of closest family members and a few selected friends – Carol was so relieved about it, she didn’t think she’d be able to face a big gathering right now. Thankfully she knew some of the guests that would likely attend as she didn’t want to be left alone while Harry was on godfather duty.

“So Eugenie is coming?” she asked.

“Yes… She’s also a godmother, remember?” he replied.

“Oh thank God. I think I only know her and Jack and Jake and Zoe. Are you sure Arthur and Alessandra are not attending?”

“Yes. Alessandra had to do something in California and Arthur went with her.” he traced the worry lines on her forehead. “Don’t stress too much, Carol. I will be by your side most of the time.”

“I know… it’s just…” she started and he waited. “Nevermind.”

“What is it darling?” Harry said holding her hand.

“I can’t help but feel inadequate to attend such an event.”

“It’s the Christening of your friends’ kid. How on earth can you be inadequate?” he was confused.

“Said friends are aristocrats, barons and baronesses... Close enough to the monarchy… and I’m… I’m just… me.” she said, not looking at him.

“Carol, trust me. Your accomplishments are way greater than what any of us will ever have. You fought your way through life to get to where you are now. We all just had it all handed to us on silver spoons, quite literally. If not actually handed, doors were opened because of connections and surnames.” he kissed her temple. “Also, if anyone think any less of you, it’s their loss. You did point out a few days ago that we’re on the 21st century after all.”

“Hopefully I won’t embarrass you. I don’t know a single thing about etiquette.” she said, biting her lower lip.

“I’ve done my share of embarrassment enough. Nothing you do will ever beat my Vegas trip. Don’t worry. If anyone treats you badly, let me know. Or just go find a familiar face to chat, Ok?”

“Ok. Thank you.”

“You’ve got it. Just keep your charming self and you’ll be fine.” he added kissing her knuckles.

She admired the change in the scenery as they left busy central London to the countryside on their way to Luton. Carol was still feeling uneasy, but decided to have some water to try and calm her stomach. Being driven on the “wrong” side of the road still scared her and she was trying to believe in what Harry had said and not what her mind was shouting at her.

The hotel was a newly renewed manor and it’s perfect tended lawn and lakes were quite imposing. Harry offered his hand to help her out of the car and they went to the lobby to check-in. He usually asked Bill to do it, but wanted to give some sense of normalcy to his girlfriend, so decided to do it himself. He obviously understood that Carol knew who he was and knew that he had some privileges and hadn’t to bother with some tasks as everything he could possible need would’ve been taken care of in a matter of seconds.

He also didn’t want to scare her away – or let her think that he was incapable of doing things for himself. He wanted to tone it down a bit, and let her see that they could mix her humble upbringing with his luxurious and privileged one. He was set to make an effort and be more hands-on on tasks that the rest of the world did on a daily basis.

“The rest of the world don’t go to a 5 start hotel for the weekend.” he thought to himself, shaking his head, while signing the paper the receptionist gave to him.

She couldn’t help but notice the clear shift on the staff behaviour when they spotted Harry. They all bowed or curtsied to him, all of them curious – but obviously not asking – as to who she was. Harry intertwined their fingers while he spoke to the attendant at the lobby, to reassure her. Bill and the other bodyguards appearing just seconds later with their luggage and attentively looking around the seemingly empty lobby.

Apparently they had a paparazzi free travel and he was thankful for that. Harry had booked the mansion state suite for them, which was bigger than her whole apartment. Their California king bed was so inviting and she wanted to take a nap so badly but knew that she couldn’t. As she was travelling comfortable – another reason to have been looked upon by the staff -, she knew that she’d have to change for the luncheon.

Soon, some of the hotel staff was unpacking their luggage and organizing everything in the walk in closet in full speed. She didn’t even have the time to ask them to leave it – as fast as they came, they were gone.

Harry was on his phone and she didn’t want to listen to his conversation, opting to go to the bathroom for a quick shower to help her to stay awake. It might have been the car movement that had her so sleepy. The bath robe available was so soft and slightly warmed that it almost made the somewhat “wake up” cold shower ineffective. She styled her hair in a sleek ponytail and opted to wear one of the dresses that concealed her growing belly. She applied make up – making it simple – and went to the bedroom to fetch both Tommy’s gift and her heels.

“You look amazing darling.” Harry said when he spotted her yawning. “Tired, huh?”

“So much...” she whispered.

“I will try to find an excuse for you, and then you both can rest a bit.” He said, kissing her neck while resting his hands on her belly.

“Good luck with that.” she laughed.

He helped her with her shoes and changed clothes as fast as he could to go to one of the banquet halls where the invitation said the luncheon would be held. He had one hand on Carol’s lower back, protectively and also to guide her through the doors. He could hear the footsteps of his bodyguards behind them and made a mental note to ask Bill to increase the distance between them a little bit. This was going to be a stressful event for Carol and he didn’t want her feeling suffocated.

Their heard Tommy crying before they arrived at the hall. Exchanging a concerned look, they hushed to the Victorian styled room. Lara was holding her cherub, pacing the room, making soothing noises while Skippy was searching for something inside the diaper bag until he retrieved a pacifier. Carol went directly to Lara.

“Carol! I’m glad you came.” Lara said, side hugging her friend while rocking the little boy and looking for her husband. “I’m sorry. He’s fussy today.”

“Is he okay?” Harry asked concerned.

“Don’t mention it! Hi Tommy.” Carol said in a sing-song voice, caressing his red locks. “Auntie Carol is here.”

“He’s fine mate. Have just woken up.” Skippy replied when arriving with the pacifier, giving it to his son who stopped crying immediately. He greeted his best friend and Carol, asking them to make themselves comfortable while they waited for some people to arrive to start serving the food.

“Carol” Lara asked after a few pleasantries were exchanged. “Do you mind coming with me?”

“Sure.” Carol handed her clutch to Harry to hold, grabbed Tommy’s diaper bag and followed Lara to the nearest bathroom that smelled like lavender which immediately made her head hurt and her stomach to turn, even before pregnancy she hated the scent to lavender.

Thankfully she hadn’t eaten much until now. The room was large – like everything in this hotel it seemed -, with marble sinks and stalls, gold details, everything screaming “tastefully luxurious”, it also had two deep burgundy upholstered chairs

“It’s my turn to change this little man’s nappy and I think he’s getting hungry.” Lara said happily undoing his onesie buttons, while Carol handed her the wipes and a clean nappy. “I’m glad you came. We won’t have much time to catch up this weekend, though. But we should go out sometime. Maybe lunch?”

“We’ve been busy, haven’t we?” Tommy smiled melting both women’s hearts. “I wish I was busy with this little man… Office work is so boring.”

Carol disposed of the used diaper and arranged everything back into the bag while Lara sat on one of upholstered chairs and got ready to feed her baby, Carol sat across from her friend. She watched at how lovingly she talked to and looked at her son and how happy the infant latched on.

She noticed in that moment that she wanted that so badly. Her love for her child was already one of the strongest feeling she ever felt. She knew that her baby was her reason to believe in a better tomorrow and to fight for it. She knew she’d move heavens and earth to make this child protected. Her mama bear instinct kicked right in at full force.

Her hand unconsciously went to her bump caressing it. She wanted to be a mum and in that moment she finally figured out that she was going to be a mother in a few months’ time. She wanted to feel the first kicks, she wanted to hold her baby close to her and get to know everything about her little bundle of joy: his or her preferences, mannerisms, personality, dreams...

“Why are you crying?” Lara asked after she looked up at her friend and saw the brunette with tears on her eyes.

“It’s nothing...” Carol said drying her tears.

“Carol… Is anything the matter?” Lara was preoccupied.

Carol got up to fetch a tissue and dry her tears. She took a deep breath and smiled at Lara.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol blurted.

“Beg your pardon?” Lara looked at her with a shocked expression on her face.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol repeated slowly this time.

“What is it with us and bathrooms when it comes announcing pregnancies?” Lara laughed. “How far along? You weren’t planning to tell me, were you?”

“I’m ten weeks along, we found out a couple of weeks ago. And no, no one was supposed to know before the twelve week mark… but seeing you with him, I just realized that I want this so badly and these damn hormones made my mouth talk faster than my brain could think.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is well kept. I’d hug you but master here is hungry.” they smiled and Carol sat down again. “How are you feeling?”

“I didn’t have many symptoms before I found out, but then, I became tired, breasts sore, sleepy and snappy.” they laughed and Lara commented it was very normal.

“And how’s Harry?”

“Over the moon. I think he wants to spread the word like wildfire… He’s wanted this for so long.” Carol smiled caressing her bump. “But he’s into an overprotective mode that is annoying.”

“Expected. He will be like this for the rest of your lives… Stop fighting it and get used to it, Carol. After everything that has happened to his family, it’s quite obvious that he won’t let anything of the sort happen again.” Lara said. “I’m glad for you. They will be close in age!”

“Thank you for not pointing out the out of wedlock implicit in this news.” Carol said when Tommy unlatched and smiled at his mum.

“Well… you’re welcome? What are you guys going to do about it?” she gave the baby to Carol, together with a burp cloth while she clasped her nursing bra and adjusted the dress again. Carol was gently burping the baby.

“We will know for sure in two weeks. I’m trying not to think about it just yet.” she sighed.

“Do try to enjoy the peace while it lasts. We are definitely scheduling a lunch date after you have “The talk” and I will be all ears for you.” she kissed her friend’s temple.

After the baby was properly burped, the ladies made their way back to the hall where Harry had a glass of scotch on one hand, talking to Jake, Skippy and Jack, probably about football. Carol and Lara took their turns to greet the new comers, with Zoe and Eugenie cooing over the baby on Carol’s arms. Harry’s eye twinkled admiring his girlfriend thinking that soon, it’d be their baby on her arms.

Carol stood beside Harry, playing with Tommy only half listening to what people were saying around her.

“I see that Tommy’s stolen my girl.” Harry joked, caressing Carol’s lower back.

“I think it’s the ginger hair.” Eugenie joked.

“Of course it’s the ginger hair – and the cute face. It’s nice to look at one for a change.” Carol joked.

“Ok, gotta keep you too separated. You girls teaming up will be the death of me.” Harry joked.

Reluctantly Carol gave Tommy to his father while Harry introduced her to the people he knew. Basically everyone in the room was a Lord/Lady or Baron and she felt a little intimidated but didn’t let it show. Carol first met Skippy’s parents and his stepmother, she knew his father was one of Prince Charles’ best friend – and he was studying her. Clearly his friend would know that his younger son had a new girlfriend by this evening. She was polite but let Harry do the small talk. Then it was Lara’s side of the family, she was introduced to her father and brother. Skippy’s sister was the easiest to get along with… she shared the same sense of humor as her brother’s.

Carol was relieved when she found her assigned place at one of the round tables spread against the hall. It had a round floral vase in the centre, cutlery (lots of it) were made of silver and the glasses were crystal. Harry was sitting at her left and Jack at her right, followed by Eugenie, Jake and Zoe. Knowing everyone made things easier for her and Eugenie kindly asked her boyfriend to exchange places so she could sit by Carol’s side. Both of them engaged on a conversation during the first course. Eugenie was discreetly pointing to the right cutlery without anyone noticing and Carol gave her a polite smile as a thank you.

“Don’t need to be nervous, Carol.” Eugenie said at some point. “You’ll get used to it. And thankfully the only members of the Royal family here will be Harry and I. You’ll do just fine.”

(…)

Carol excused herself from the rehearsal. She wouldn’t play an important part during the ceremony anyway and she wanted a nap. Lara, now being even more empathetic with her friend, didn’t fuss about it and Carol went to their luxurious suite and straight to the bed, not even bothering in changing clothes or removing her make up.

She woke up later with feather-like kisses on her face and slowly opened her eyes to a very handsome Harry.

“Hi.” he said smiling to her.

“Hi” she answered back.

“I’ve missed you” he said nuzzling his nose on her neck, giving her the now familiar goosebumps.

“It’s been only a couple of hours.” she caressed his beard.

“It looks like an eternity for me.” he was laying on the bed beside her. “Did you get the rest that you need?”

“I did, yes.” she yawned and stretched. “Fully charged now.”

They shared a laugh and Carol positioned her head on his chest and one of her legs between his. He instantly held her, playing with her hair.

“I’ve asked Lara for you to enter through the back door tomorrow. I think I’m not ready to share you with the world just yet.”

“Thank you.” she whispered.

“My heart almost skipped a beat when I saw you with Tommy today.” he said and she could hear the smile on his voice. “My girl with a ginger baby on her arms… If you weren’t pregnant already you’d be getting tonight.”

They both laughed hard at that.

“Don’t be so cocky.”

“It’s just… you know that you’re giving me something I’ve wanted for a long time. Don’t you?” he said after a while. “A family of my own to protect, to take care of and provide for. A child to teach lots of things – someone to be a better version of myself. Thank you, Carol. I know this is hard for you. But I promise to be there every step of the way.”

She was crying after he finished his speech and he knew it. He didn’t mention or made fun of her because of that, but he only held her tighter and kissed her temple.

(…)

Carol woke up early on Saturday morning. It took her a while to untangle herself from Harry’s arms but she managed it. Putting on the robe to cover her now naked body, she went to the living room space of their suite and asked for breakfast to be delivered for them. She took a quick shower and started setting up her make up and hairdresser station on the bathroom vanity when Harry woke up and went to her, hugging her from behind.

“Morning.” he said trying to open her robe and receiving a playful slap afterwards.

“Morning!” she replied.

“Do you have time for a quickie before you start making yourself even more beautiful?” he asked seductively.

“Now now Mr. Wales… we did have four very “longies” last night. You can’t possibly be still horny.” she said looking at him through the mirror.

“Well… your bigger breasts make me hard. I can’t help it.” he said circling her nipples with his thumb.

“If we start, we are going to be late. So, your Royal Horniness, keep yourself together and we shall deal with it afterwards.” she fastened the robe belt again while he pouted and sat on the counter.

“Why do you need all of this?” he asked pointing to all of the make up she brought, changing the subject and concentrating hard on other things so he’d get rid of the boner he was sporting at the moment.

“It’s not even enough and I want to look nice today.”

“You look nice every day.” he said while watching her washing her face and applying some lotions.

“Thank you.” she said looking at him and pecking his lips.

She started to apply her make up and he didn’t even wanted to ask what all of those things would do, deciding to take a shower before breakfast. She finished faster than he thought, given the amount of things she applied and they enjoyed the perfectly cooked breakfast before changing clothes.

Harry wanted a picture of Carol wearing that pink dress and noticed that if she placed her hand on her belly, they could see her small bump that seemed to grow by the second. He smiled when mentioned it to her and she said that she would likely have a very big bump.

“You will be a very sexy momma.” he commented while holding her clutch and the present that they had forgotten to give on the day before and went to their friend’s suite.

Skippy opened the door to their suite and informed Carol that Lara was in the bedroom nursing. He and Harry stayed on the living room while Carol went on the search of the baby.

“Morning sunshine.” Lara said when Carol opened the door.

“Good morning!”

Tommy looked around and smiled at Carol before turning and latching once again.

“As soon as he finishes, can you dress him for me, please?” Lara asked and Carol agreed.

“We forgot to give you his present yesterday” Carol gave the small package to her friend. “I hope you like it.”

Lara opened it and thanked her friend for the bracelet. It was very delicate and simple, one that she’d buy herself for her son if she had thought of that and clearly a very well thought present for him.

“I loved it, Carol. Thank you so much.”

After the baby was well fed and burped, Carol dressed him carefully and combed his hair to the side. She then fastened the bracelet on his arms and left Lara alone so she could finish getting ready for them to leave. Upon entering the living room again, with Tommy smiling and happy, Harry’s heart filled with emotion.

“You’re going to kill me.” he whispered to her.

“Why?”

“You with him on your arms, you being so lovely to him and carrying our baby… I can’t wait until it’s our turn.”

(…)

Harry and Carol rode together with Eugenie and Jack to the St. Albans Cathedral. The car stopped first at the back entrance where Carol jumped off and quickly entered the church, finding her assigned place. And then stopped at the front of the church and sure enough, lots of photographers were waiting for them there. Harry and Eugenie waved and entered the church, waiting for Skippy and Lara to arrive. Harry was shifting his weight and looking where Carol was sitting still alone.

“Calm down, Harry. She’s just fine.” Eugenie mentioned.

“I don’t think having her here is a good idea.” He replied.

“Why not?”

“I don’t think she’s ready for what’s to come from the media once they realize who she is.” he sighed.

“It’s not going to be easy, we know that. But you love her and she loves you… and I think she’s a very strong woman. With our support she’ll do just fine.” Eugenie side hugged her cousin.

“Thank you for “our support” part. It means a lot.”

“I really like her…”

“So do I…. Jack, would you mind?” Harry asked.

“Right on it...” he pecked Eugenie’s lips and went to sit beside Carol. It was pretty obvious how she had relaxed after seeing a friendly face and they both started chatting right away.

(…)

The Service was very right to the point but beautiful and moving.

Lara had asked someone to decorate the church with lots of flower arrangements in a mixture of white Casablanca lilies, tulips and Lily of the valley. Tommy was as happy as he could be, trying the eat the program on his mum’s hand and smiling, up until the water touched his head but his daddy soon made him stop crying and cheery again.

Carol was paying attention and making sure she held the best posture as possible, as she knew that some of these people had Prince Charles on speed dial and she wanted to make a good impression.

Even though when you meet him you’re going to announce you’re pregnant… Not the greatest first impression will come out of that.

She shook her head to clear off these thoughts and smiled at her friends when Skippy waved at her from the altar. She was really fighting the urge of placing her hands on her bump and making a mental note of asking Harry how christenings were done in his family. She knew what they shared with the press, but didn’t know how the ceremony was held.

Lara requested everyone present to take a group picture, together with the priest before they left the church. Although Harry had tried to have her beside him, Carol ended up beside Jack on the far right of where he was. After the pictures were taken, Bill appeared signalling it was time to go and Carol left through the back entrance going straight to the waiting car.

At moment, as they had rehearsed, Harry and Eugenie left the church through the front door together with the other attendants and stopped to take a few pictures with his godson as Lara wanted.

Everyone else started to get into their cars to head to the reception whilst Harry, Eugenie and Jack conveniently stayed behind to stop and wave to the press – just to make sure that Carol’s car would be long gone without anyone following.

Jack was the one driving this car and he could see that the Prince was nervous and he could relate to that… He was the one arriving at the family and even then it was very difficult. As soon as they entered the Hotel’s grounds – out of sight of the paps that began following them - Harry got out of the car before it even fully stopped moving and bolted straight through the corridors until he found the reception room. Carol was there, sipping on some water and he immediately hugged her.

“Are you alright, darling?” he was carefully checking her to make sure she wasn’t going to hide anything.

“Yes, just fine… I think I’m still undercover.” she said. “Bill is a great security man, Harry. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t like the idea of you getting discovered while pregnant...” he confessed.

“I know. I don’t either.” she chastely pecked his lips. “Let’s just not think about it, ok? Everything went fine and the other guests are arriving and you have more pictures to pose for.”

Harry went on godfather mode, still making sure Carol was within his eyesight.

The photographer Lara hired was good, getting all the “must have’ shots as quickly as possible and Harry wanted to have one of him, Carol and Tommy. When he saw the picture on the camera’s display, he knew that it was going straight to the mantle of his fireplace.

________________________________________________

A/N: I hope all of you are keeping safe and sane on this quarantine mode.

Thank you for your continued support! I love to read all of the messages you send me and hopefully you’ll enjoy this quit long chapter.

Xoxo

#Prince Harry #Prince Henry of Wales #Duke of Sussex #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Royal Fanfiction #BRF #PHFF #Prince Harry Fanfiction #When you tell the world you're mine #chapter: 49 #royalfanficcollection #royalfanficcentral #British Royal Family

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evoedbd · 5 years

Text

Queer Advice

Summer - Emily Collins is terrified that Dracula's Brides will need a virgin sacrifice, and she knows exactly who that person would be. Havenfalls finest are LESS than helpful with their brilliant plan to protect their virgin huntress. ((Meshed in Mac having a version of her MC, because she’s the only character who truly NEEDS her MC to reach her full potential.)) *******

“Alright. This is serious business. We’ve found out more of Dracula’s plan and i- SERIOUSLY?” Emily started out seriously, striding into the closed bowling alley with purpose. Once the door swung shut, however, the party lights revealed something that nearly made Emily blow a gasket. A cuddle pile! An honest to whatever god may exist cuddle pile! During what was meant to be a meeting to save lives. Not just A life, but multiple. On a potentially world dominating scale. This was serious business and yet four bodies remained tangled together; a series of semi naked limbs and plaid that became indistinguishable from each other.

Mackenzie Hunt was the easiest to distinguish amidst the chaos. The Alpha was an absolute beast of a woman, in no uncertain terms. A copper skinned goddess standing at 5.11ft high, with muscles that appeared to be forged from literal copper by an artist of ancient times. Forest green eyes kept careful watch over the bowling alley, even though the gentle smile on her lips betrayed her affection for the others. Her duty as pack leader and town sheriff seemed to weigh her brows down ever so slightly, a fact emphasised by lighter hair against darker skin. Her short, choppy hair was ruffled, suggesting she had been running a little earlier. Or perhaps fingers had been running through her hair, like she now ran her own fingers through Aisha’s chocolate dust locks. Just as Atlas allegedly held the world, Mac supported the tangled individuals on her lap. Even then, she positioned herself so that she could break away and spring up at the first sign of trouble.

Aisha Collins appeared content enough with her head resting on the arm of the couch. Aisha looked so similar to Emily one might mistake them for twins, with their high angled jaws and blazing blue eyes. Aisha had grown into her grace, keeping her head held a little higher than Emily, which made her features seem finer. Her sharp edges were softened, as if the world around her was constantly caressing them into tranquillity. The cargo pants she wore hid her lanky legs, even as they tangled with another pair of fine legs clad in designer jeans.

Annabelle Shepard lay facing the other direction; legs tangled through Aisha’s. Her chest rose and fell with the gentle contentment of peaceful slumber. It was easy to forget how fierce the young woman could be when one looked at her soft face. From gentle curves to large, expressive eyes, Annabelle was disarming. When awake, her cheer was almost infectious, yet she held a certain bite to her. An unnameable quality that exposed the truth of the hardships she had faced. That made you respect her without even knowing her. Her lithe arms remained folded against her chest. As always, her arms were covered by long sleeves with buttoned cuffs. The few times Emily had seen Annabelle’s bare arms, she had been greeted with thick, unsightly scars. They were vicious and deep, as if she had been savagely attacked by a rabid animal.

Damien Ryder took the weight of the cuddle pile. He supported Annabelle’s sleeping form, with his nose tucked into her hair. His arms wrapped around Anabelle, with one of his hands holding Aisha’s legs. The tussles of his signature jacket tickled over plaid and denim, offering something for Aisha to twist around her fingers in her half-conscious state. Looking at Damien, the most striking thing about him was the pain. It darkened his ginger ale brown eyes; dragged on his broody brows. Even in a relaxed setting, his squared jaw seemed hardened and his lips downturned. That along with his shoulder length fawn hair gave Emily the impressions of a western outlaw. All that was missing was the twig of barley for him to chew on.

“Pack thing.” Aisha sleepily explained, waving her free hand in a dismissive manner. It seemed as if she believed that nobody would understand it, so she did not bother explaining. There was a gentle cheekiness to her tone; a happiness which Emily couldn’t bring herself to attack. It was with a long-suffering sigh she directed her attention towards the literal devil in the room.

“You just want time off work.” JD accused, a smirk touching their lips as they leaned back against the bar. Jordan Davies was the epitome of teenage angst turned into professional anarchy. Lanky and long, JD was only a smidgen taller than Emily, yet appeared to be half the weight. Beneath the biker’s leather jacket and baggy red singlet, Emily was positive she’d find nothing but a ribcage. That leanness was matched in JD’s youthful face. Mischief twinkled in ember coloured eyes, as always. Nobody could look at JD’s troublemaker getup; numerous piercings, and flame orange hair without feeling as sinful as if they were sneaking out after curfew. Something about the Jersey Devil invited chaos and trouble of the best kind. The kind where you’d wake up hungover, married to a goat and wondering where your trousers were.

“It would mean you’d have to actually do your job, Jordan.” Razi commented, an amused smile forming beneath his elegantly groomed facial hair. Razi was a picture, with only one stylish lock out of place. With his broad, defined features and luscious dark hair bound into ponytail, it was amazing he settled for a bowling alley in a backwater town. Mythical blue eyes shone; sapphires gleaming against his bronzed skin. As usual, the hunky Djinn wore a silken button up shirt, with the sleeves folded up to his elbows and dark suspenders. The half-popped buttons showed off his defined chest, along with the many hairs curling across his skin. When the light caught those hairs the right way, Razi appeared to glow, adding to his calm mystique. This, along with his dazzling smile, was truly what made Emily think the only way to describe Razi was “An exotic gentleman.” ... yet Razi’s sister called him the ugly duckling. If that was true, Emily doubted the world was ready for the Nassar family.

“Come on, Razi. Hikari has that locked down.” Aisha called teasingly, her lips peeling into a troublemaker’s grin to match JD’s. Emily could only wince in sympathy as she looked over to the poor demon, who was struggling to rearrange the bowling balls without breaking them.

Hikari barely passed for human, being half Fae and half, well, Satan. Her soft, youthful features were only hardened by the copious amount of eyeliner surrounding her neon pink eyes. Darkness was a theme for Hikari, with her full, blackened lips and tiny black horns which sprouted from her coloured hair. Her long hair was perhaps the most colourful thing about her, fading from pink to purple the lower one went from her scalp. Two tiny buns sat on top of her head, little spirals of colour that were almost disarming... almost. Nothing could disarm Hikari’s attitude or sharp tongue.

“Look! This is serious! I was doing my homework on potential rituals which the Brides may preform to resurrect Dracula and it turns out that, aside from me, they may ne-“

“Wait... don’t tell me. A virgin sacrifice.” Aisha snipped in, appearing awfully amused when she spoke. When the entire group remained silent, powerful blue eyes widened in absolute alarm.

“Seriously? I thought that was bogus... talk about cliché.”

“Well, Van tried to correct things apparently, but nobody took him very seriously. If he were around, Vanessa is convinced he’d have a lot to say about the current state of things.” Emily informed, her own brows pinching as she went to speak again.

“Of all the things to get right, eh?” JD laughed, only to grow silent at the look on their friend’s face. For all JD’s chaos, they knew when someone was hurting, and they knew when their common brand of humour wasn’t going to add to the situation.

“Not any virgin. The closer to the intended, the better. We already know I’m the intended, with that kidnapping proposal and me being the only human Collin’s woman in town. The virgin sacrifice, well I think I know who that is. I assume it can’t be any of you. Or Diego. I already know it can’t be Grace-“

“Definitely not Grace. We can both confidently confirm that.” Aisha agreed, causing both her and Emily’s faces to flush furiously. Grace’s prom night had not ended with her date dropping her off, rather with Emily and Aisha chasing a teenage boy out of her room with a mixing spoon and a coffee mug. It was an uncomfortable enough moment that all the Collins women did their best to avoid discussing it, yet none of them could ever bleach it from mind. Aisha had seriously considered trying it once she became a wolf. Thankfully, Mac had convinced her not to test out her new powers. JD also refused to erase the memory, finding it too hilarious to see Emily and Aisha squirming.

“I don’t get along with any other family members. Don’t have any friends outside of Havenfall. The only other person I am close to is Vanessa. What do I do? She’s already in the crosshairs, if they catch onto this...” Emily appeared to dissolve into panic, her brows contorting. All the way from her shoulders to her hands appeared to vibrate, blurring subtly due to her trembling.

“If you don’t want her to be the virgin sacrifice, just have her lose it.” JD suggested rather casually before they took a swig of their drink. Emily could only gape, her eyes almost bulging out of their sockets as she did her best impression of a guppy fish. Mouth agape, lips flapping as she tried to find the words.

“Wow. Just wow. Is sex literally the only solution you can offer, JD?” Emily demanded, almost on autopilot. She was in shock. The idea was ludicrous! Insane! Utterly bonkers! She couldn’t just go up and offer to sleep with Vanessa! The huntress was already so shy about most interactions, given that she had never even had friends, let alone a boyfriend or girlfriend. If a compliment left her utterly flustered, and proximity took her breath away, then what would suggesting making love do? No, it wouldn’t be making love. Vanessa couldn’t be in love with her. It’d be sex. A physical convenience. It’d rob the hopeless romantic Vanessa of her first experience with love if she agreed to it.

“I’m just saying. A good shag would solve several problems for her.” JD pointed out, once more grinning like a cat who had gotten the cream via nefarious methods. Emily was ready to burst. To smack the demon over the head with a bowling ball. Better yet, ask Hikari to do it. The Scene Demon would probably love to dish out some payback to JD.

“And who would you suggest we get her into bed with? You? Diego? Razi?” Emily demanded harshly, bringing a hand up to pinch at the of her nose. Her thumb rubbed over the small scar beneath her glasses, which bounced over her knuckles as Emily attempted to purge the images from her mind by rubbing at her eyes. Picturing Vanessa with JD did not bring images of love, only an image of the Huntress kicking a demon’s flaming backside out of her van. For Diego, she could only picture a holy sword shooting out the van to decapitate the vampire, or a stake plunged into his heart. Hardly romantic. Razi... might at least be allowed to speak, but he’d wind up with the door slammed in his face.

Emily was so caught up in her musings that she missed the look shared between Aisha and Mac, yet she did not miss the words her cousin spoke.

“Actually... you’re the best candidate.”

“What? Why me?” She almost shrieked, feeling as if she’d been sucker punched in the gut. Was it because Vanessa was her bodyguard? Did they just assume that it’d be acceptable? Was this how boys felt when paired with their female friends? Pressure? A touch of violation? Great. First it was a girl and boy couldn’t be friends, now it was automatically that if two women were close, they had to be lesbians. Would the clichés and stereotypes ever truly die?

“You’re the only single human woman here.” Mac pointed out. Ok. Emily could concede to that logic.

“Huge flaw in that, guys. You’re all just assuming Vanessa is gay!” Emily stated the obvious. Instantly, she was met with various looks of amusement and pity, all of which made her brows feel heavy and her lips ache with the urge to tip into a scowl. Honestly, for a group of outcasts and Queers, their lack of consideration was astonishing.

“Or kinky. Come on. The leather? The whip?” JD unhelpfully added, miming a whip with their left hand when Emily fixed her glare upon them. The human felt her brow twitch even as she opened her mouth to snap back at the overly satisfied demon. Before she could even utter a single sound, a snort from her cousin cut her off.

“It’s true. No Straight woman would wear that much leather.” Aisha added, smoothing out the moment with logic.

“That’s a value judgement!” Emily scolded on instinct. A rather calm, deadpan stare was the only response. It only got worse as Emily felt her cheeks flush a brilliant cherry tomato. A flush which she was convinced spread to her collar given her spike in body temperature. She wasn’t stupid enough to blame it on the room heating up, not when she was the only one suffering. Okay, so maybe Aisha had a point... slash the maybe. Emily had to concede. She’d never met a woman who kept her nails short and wore so much leather who wasn’t somewhat inclined towards women. Thinking back over their interactions, Emily remembered when she had raised the question about dating history. Boyfriends? Girlfriends? Vanessa had stated explicitly she had no time for girlfriends... ok. So that had to be a hint, right? Vanessa had been so flustered even saying it. As if she expected backlash. So maybe she was a little bit gay? A little. But that was only one half of the sexuality equation.

“She stares at your ass when you walk away. Seriously, she wants a piece. The biggest piece. I can see the gay from across the bowling alley.” Hikari’s voice rung out, drawing Emily’s focus to the approaching Fae daughter of Satan. Hikari had a look of utter condescending disbelief on her face, as if she was utterly flabbergasted that Emily could be so stupid. The intensity of that look sure made Emily feel more foolish than she had ever felt in her entire life, even if she was unsure why.

“She looks at you like you’re chocolate cake, but she forgot to bring a spoon to eat you with.” Razi continued Hikari’s logic in a much gentler fashion.

“Are we forgetting the little issue my last partner had? It’s called a penis!” Emily strained the word “little” with her voice and her fingers, thumb and forefinger held apart to depict the size.

Mark had started out a wonderful partner. A caring man who was decent looking. He had a good job, solid family and had been involved with his church. Early on, Emily had thought he could be the one. Or rather, the best she would ever land with her background. When she had brought him to the bowling alley to meet her friends, however, things had gone south. Fast. Mark had torched his pristine image within minutes by his relentless attack on JD’s lifestyle. Mark exposed a traditionalist streak; which Emily couldn’t overcome. At the time, she hadn’t understood why everyone found Mark’s shouts that JD was going to hell so funny. She’d been busy dumping the tool.

“Ahha! So you admit it was small.” JD cheered, leaping on the chance to have another dig at Mark. The Demon’s grin was victorious; so full of malicious glee that Emily couldn’t even bring herself to defend her ex. Not that she would ever feel inclined to.

“So not the point.” Emily groaned, dropping her face into her hands. Maybe if she pinched the bridge of her nose hard enough, she could repel the building shitstorm which was her massive headache.

“Does it matter?” Hikari demanded in an almost aggressive manner. Shocked, Emily removed her hand and stared at the Fae daughter of Satan. The Faemon appeared impassioned, her neon pink eyes blazing with such intensity it could be compared to a blast of heat straight to Emily’s face. As if she’d stepped from an air-conditioned building into 116 degrees.

“Like, seriously. Who cares if you’ve only been with men in the past, they ain’t the shit.” The Faemon continued, earning an almost amused snort from Emily. JD smirked, Razi coughed. An actual laugh came from Aisha, whilst the rumble of a chuckle echoed softly from Mac.

Emily had always known she found both men and women attractive, yet no woman had ever fit the bill of Girlfriend material. Usually because they were straight. Men had always been easier when it came to dating, thus Emily had learned how to handle her foolish crushes and attraction to men. Women not so much. They still left her tongue tied, overwhelmed her thoughts when she found one she deemed attractive. She still couldn’t flirt in any capacity, and she absolutely could not contain her thirst.

“If you actually connect with Vanessa, go for it. She’s cute, she’s single as fuck and into you. Are you seriously telling me a vagina is getting in the way?” The Fae continued, driving her words home with several firm pokes to Emily’s shoulder. The human could only blink. Hikari had an excellent point.

Vanessa was gorgeous. There was no getting around that. All lithe muscle in a highly feminine frame. Dark hair spilling down her back; hair which seemed to absorb the light in a lilac black cascade. Breathtaking violet eyes, which shone with every single emotion Vanessa ever felt. Yes, Vanessa was physically stunning, yet there was more beauty to her than just her appearance.

Vanessa was just so earnest. Everything about her was so sincere and true that is knocked Emily off her feet. Vanessa’s bravery; her capacity to make Emily believe in the impossible with her blistering passion and steadfast loyalty. It was inexplicable. Emily was forever awed by Vanessa as a Huntress, as well as a person. Whilst Vanessa’s heroism was undeniable, so was the woman beneath the legend. The tender concern in Vanessa’s eyes was almost blanketing; a warm comfort in the night. Vanessa’s genuine smiles transformed Emily’s heart into a prism of light, reflecting the warm glow of happiness throughout her entire chest. Watching Vanessa’s wonder as she was exposed to new things was addictive. To Emily, it felt like watching a whole new world birthed from nothingness. The gentle warmth and pride Emily was a constant undertone for her excitement to engage Vanessa. To learn more. Every scrap of information given by Vanessa was a treasure; a clue leading Emily deeper into a labyrinth. The journey alone was worth more than any treasure. Each moment a glistening point of connection that Emily felt content to exist in. Vanessa’s laughter... melodic. An angel’s song. The sound alone made the world fade away and infused Emily with a sense of unequalled joy. Such a pure, sincere sound as a happy Vanessa gave Emily’s heart wings.

“They sell solutions for that.”

And with Aisha’s comment, Emily’s joy came crashing down. She plummeted, feathers falling from her metaphoric wings with every flap of logic and confusion tangling around her. One moment there was an argument that just because Vanessa was a woman it didn’t mean Emily couldn’t like her, or even, lord forbid, LOVE her. Then, the next moment Aisha was starting to talk about changing Vanessa? It was in jest, clearly, yet that didn’t stop the violent impulse to shout surging within Emily’s veins. Vanessa was PERFECT the way she was. Why would Emily need a silicone attachment to try to deceive her when... Ok, so maybe she was completely into Vanessa. But with angels song and happiness, why would Emily want to ever leave? Or violate that trust?

“I wouldn’t tolerate the townsfolk bothering you two, you have my word.” Mac chimed in, noticing the increasing furrow in Emily’s brow. That was enough to break Emily out of her outrage. Mackenzie was being sincere. Worrying for Emily as if she were one of the pack. That was enough to draw a soft smile to her lips, a gesture of gratitude to the Sheriff.

“Seriously. Humans are so hung up on this shit.” Hikari huffed in annoyance, pausing to blow on her bubble-gum. The bubble grew for a second, then the pronounced pop rung through the silent air. A gunshot before Hikari delivered her perfected opinion on humanity.

“Losers.”

“Gods, are all supernaturals Queer?” Emily didn’t even realise her question had been out loud before she noticed the group pause.

Razi appeared to have been stuck by lightning. His utter shock at the question was reflected by his parted lips when he went to speak. Instead, no words escaped, and his elegant jaw snapped shut. Hikari simply resumed blowing bubbles, evidently indifferent to the question. JD let forth a bark of surprised laughter, followed by a series of eyebrow wiggles at their shocked boss. The Djinn took it in good humour, simply sighing. Meanwhile, Mac and Aisha shared a knowing look; a secret amongst the pack perhaps. Annabelle appeared rather amused as she cast her sight on Damien, who coughed subtly when faced with the weight of his pack’s stare.

“Most are open. Even the ones in typical relationships.” He strategically answered, his eyes lingering anywhere save the almost smug grins of his pack.

“Its a small community, we don’t judge.” JD chipped in. If the devil was burdened by the focused attention of the room, they didn’t show it as they leaned against the bar. In response to the silence which followed, they gave an all too casual shrug. That irritating silence was broken by Emily, who let out an unspeakably pained groan as her head to fall forwards into her waiting hands with a rather pronounced thud.

“This conversation has veered so far off track it’s stuck in the gutter.” Emily’s voice was muffled by the palms of her clammy hands, which were shielding her face. In another universe, the one flashing behind her closed eyes, this conversation had not taken such a turn. They had remained logical and avoided all embarrassment as they came up with the perfect plan to protect Vanessa. There wouldn’t be a literal pile of attractive Supernaturals snuggling on the beaten down old couch. No devilish devils or sexy, well dressed Djinns making jokes. This wouldn’t have dissolved into a discussion about sexuality... and Emily’s temples wouldn’t be throbbing in time with her marching band for a heart.

“I get it, this topic is uncomfortable. That doesn’t change the fact it would reduce Vanessa’s eligibility to practically zero.”

Whether Aisha was genuinely trying to help, or was teasing was uncertain. Her deep eyes held the gentle understanding of a mother; matured and nurturing with a underlying protectiveness that was enough to knock an elephant off track. However, the subtle tilt of her lips betrayed amusement. Restraint. The entire wolf pack seemed to somehow snuggle closer together.

“Look, I’m not about to go up to my friend and be like Hey, so you’re a virgin. Let’s change that so Dracula won’t sacrifice you. That is so tacky, even a porn film would reject that script!” Emily practically exploded, turning to make endless gestures to emphasise her points. Hands and hips became a second language, crudely mimicking out points in a manner equally as explosive as her booming voice. Honestly, the AUDACITY of these people! If Emily had cared a little less or was just a little braver, she’d have already bitch slapped all of them.

She paused, taking a moment to breathe. Deep breaths. In through her nose. Out through her mouth. Her thumb sought out the small scar across the bridge of her nose when she pinched it, almost as if the gesture could contain the storm about to explode from within her.

“She deserves someone she wants to share her life with, not just some convenient exchange.” Emily concluded, pouring every ounce of sincerity into her words. It was true. Vanessa was a romantic, behind everything. For such a vulnerable thing as physical intimacy, Emily wanted Vanessa to have the dream. The perfect first time. Candles and romance with the person she was in love with. The person she wanted to spend eternity with. Emily couldn’t even imagine a world where she took that away from Vanessa. A world where duty claimed the last piece of Vanessa; the piece only protected by lack of time. It was Vanessa’s ONE true freedom. The only part of her life that the Order hadn’t dictated or infected. How could anybody ask Emily to take that away from Vanessa? How could they even THINK it?

“It’s clear you care about her. That must count for something.” Mac’s gentle tones drew Emily out of her internal raging. When Emily turned her gaze to the Alpha Werewolf, she met kind forest green eyes. Mackenzie Hunt understood, at least enough to sympathise with the Collins girl. Mac bore the weight of her power so well that it was all too easy to forget Mac was only a couple of years older than Emily. As far as werewolves went, Mackenzie Hunt was a young Alpha. Barely more than a pup. Yet, she saw Emily’s struggle. Even without a word of it, she offered her full support. Her approval. Even without being a wolf, Emily could feel the power in it. The warmth that emanated from the Alpha’s care.

“Yeah. A better time.” JD added in a remarkably sincere tone. For a split second, Emily almost believed it. Then, the devil’s lips curled. Moment ruined.

“I’m not listening. La La La.” Emily announced, lifting her hands in a weak effort to cover her ears. Still, she couldn’t help letting her mind wander. What if they didn’t have a choice? Would Vanessa be willing to accept her? Could she even live up to even a single dream or fantasy Vanessa had? Vanessa’s lavender tinged grey eyes were so expressive. Would those purples tinges darken to black with lust? Could Emily hold her gaze, or would Vanessa’s gaze devour her soul? How would Vanessa’s soft skin feel beneath her lips? Would hardened abs twitch underneath loving a kiss? Would Vanessa even want that? Could she have the patience to allow Emily to truly make her feel divine with gentle explorations and sincerely sweetened words? Or would she be inclined to take the reins? How would those battle forged hands explore if given freedom to do so? What would she want? Maybe the whip...

“You’re blushing.” Aisha’s amused tones dragged Emily’s mind from such a salacious place. She had to get out of the bowling alley, before things became even more awkward. Before she started imagining things more explicitly. She lowered her hand to her pocket, wiping clammy palms against the coarse material before she pulled out her phone. A lifeline to save her from humiliation.

“Oh look, I got a text! Gotta go!” She stumbled over her blatant lie in a rush to get the words out. Her phone had not chimed. Without waiting, she broke into a brisk walk towards the door.

“To ensure Helsing’s safety!” Came a quip from behind her. Emily didn’t hesitate in raising her middle finger over her shoulder, shouting out to the chorus of laughter chasing her into the streets.

“LA. LA. FUCKING. LA.”

#lovestruck #Vanessa Helsing #havenfall is for lovers #vanessa x mc #supernaturaldisasters #Everyone is a little gay #fluff and humor

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britesparc · 5 years

Text

Weekend Top Ten #399

Top Ten Skeletons

It’s Halloween! Wooooooo! Spooky noises! Pretend cobwebs! Too many sweets! Bwahahahaha!

Anyway, now that’s out of the way, on with the list. Dead simple this weekend. Basically, coz it’s Halloween next week, I wanted to do something vaguely ghoulish. And what could be more ghoulish than a skeleton? It’s like a skinnier version of you without all the juices or wobbly bits.

Are skeletons scary? I guess if you saw one ambulating its way towards you then yes, yes they are. But they don’t quite hit the gory heights of zombies, ghosts, or demons when it comes to putting the willies up people (also, technically, none of them even have willies). You can cover them with blood, pus, and bits of rotten flesh, but the more you do then the blurrier the line becomes between zombie and skeleton. It’s for this reason that I’ve excluded the likes of the Cryptkeeper, or Iron Maiden’s Eddie; for me, they’re both too raggedy of skin to be classed as a straight-up skellington.

I take this stuff very seriously.

So, what we have here is a list of ten bone-bags, minus any soppy organs (okay, technically, a few of them appear to have eyes). They run the gamut from sublime to ridiculous, from scary to, well, children’s preschool picture books. They are my favourite set of stiffs, out and about without their wet bits.

Enjoy – if you dare!

Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas, 1993): I mean, come on; if we’re talking about skeletons at Halloween we have to talk about the Pumpkin King. He’s literally royalty. Delightfully skinny and bony, he’s a tortured, poetic soul who loves to bring joy and also make you wee yourself a bit. Has a ghost dog. Can take off his head to recite Shakespearean quotation. And marks a disturbing trend of skeletons with faces that look, well, like a normal head with a skull painted on.

Big Skeleton, Little Skeleton, and Dog Skeleton (Funnybones, Janet & Allan Ahlberg, 1980): cheating a bit by including three characters – and already we’re onto our second dead dog mention – but these two dudes and their hound (are they father and son? Brothers? Lovers?) know how to party. They live (or, well – anyway…) to scare, and if they can’t find anyone down a dark, dark street or some dark, dark stairs, they’ll just straight up scare each other. No messing.

Manuel Calavera (Grim Fandango, 1998): our second dubious skull-face, but at least Manny has the excuse that he’s all Día de Muertos-ed up. A wonderfully multifaceted character – part hero, part patsy, sometime Grim Reaper – in a delightfully art deco vision of the afterlife, he’s a joy to inhabit and spend some time with.

Skeleton (SuperTed, 1982): I’m not sure if Skeleton was a fixture in the original SuperTed books, but regardless, he just couldn’t be the same without Melvyn Hayes’ voice work (apologies to the original Welsh actor). Partly it’s the delightfully bonkers premise that appeals – for some reason this teddy bear has, for his villains, a literal cowboy, a fat explorer, and, well, the campest skeleton in all of fiction – but, regardless, Skeleton (for that is he) is a delight, from his shiny round head to his bright pink slippers.

The Children of the Hydra’s Teeth (Jason and the Argonauts, 1963): long before dinosaurs broke from their paddocks, spaceships blew up the White House, or Marvel decided to cast middle-aged men as twenty-year-olds, the most impressive special effect was Ray Harryhausen’s sublime, wonderful, joyous depiction of an army of skeletons rising from the ground to fight real-life human actors. A simply stunning feat of stop-motion, the skeletons imbued with exquisite characterisation, and the choreography just spot-on. Really quite creepy when you’re a kid, too.

Murray the Invincible Demonic Skull (The Curse of Money Island, 1997): our second LucasArts adventure game character, and another one that I guess is technically a cheat. Because Murray is literally just a skull. Does that count as a skeleton? Well it’s certainly a bit of a skeleton, so I’m allowing it. Because Murray is very funny: one part vengeful demonic undead pirate, one part grumpy doorstop. You can pick him up and carry him about! He talks to you! He’s so cool.

Archie the Skeleton (Scotch commercials, 1980s): This is the way it’s going to be, with Scotch’s lifetime guarantee… he’s a well-to-do skeleton with a collar and tie (and slippers again, if I remember rightly) who just wants to tell you about how long Scotch VHS tapes will last. A staple of ‘80s adverts, with a nice design and voice, and it was always good fun to watch stop-motion animation during an ad break. Re-record not fade away, re-record not fade away…

T-800 (The Terminator, 1984): whilst we all obviously think of the Terminator as Arnold Schwarzenegger, I’m raising a glass here to what’s on the inside. The moment when that mechanical endoskeleton emerges from the burning truck, striding through the fire, is simply terrifying, revealing for the first time the inhuman monstrosity that pursues our heroes. It’s vaguely human-shaped in its orientation, but also unquestionably mechanical, with servos and pistons and its glowing red eyes. All capped off, creepily enough, with human teeth. It’s a movie monster, and despite being made of metal, it still counts as a skeleton, so there.

Héctor Rivera (Coco, 2017): one of those characters who starts out like a scoundrel but reveals a heart of gold, Héctor is a great Pixar creation, lovingly brought to vocal life by Gael García Bernal, which is ironic coz he’s dead. Comic relief, guide to a strange new world, best friend-slash-big brother to main character Miguel, Héctor reveals tragic hidden depths as his backstory is uncovered, becoming a hero and inspiring one of the biggest tear-jerking moments in Pixar history (which, let’s face it, is really saying something).

Bones (Quake III Arena, 1999): sometimes in this list I’ve picked characters who generate a real emotional connection, like Manny or Héctor. Sometimes I’ve picked ones who cast visceral, terrifying imagery, like the Terminator or the Hydra’s Teeth. But sometimes you just want to look at a skeleton running round with a bloody big rocket launcher, leaping through the air and shooting dudes in the face. Bones was always a great character to see in Quake III because, well, he’s just a skeleton. Nowt fancy about him. I don’t remember his backstory, such as it was. I don’t remember if there was any tactical advantage to playing as him, if his hit box was smaller or anything. He’s just, well, a skeleton. Running around. Shooting people. And sometimes that’s all you want.

So. That’s it. Oh yeah – no Skeletor. That should be obvious; he’s not a skeleton. He’s got a skull face, but the rest of his body is totally ripped (and blue, natch). He’s just some dude who is alive but who’s got a skull for a face. I mean, yeah, sure, that’s pretty badass, but he’s most clearly not a skeleton.

Also: Death. I had Death on the list for a long time, but really the fact that he’s more of a metaphysical concept than a character dissuaded me (I’ve not read enough Discworld to specifically call out that iteration, for instance). But, for what it’s worth, as simple imagery goes, I do love a skeletal Grim Reaper, especially if he’s allowed some kind of characterisation that runs counter to his appearance.

Anyway, happy Halloween! Cue the music! “This is Halloween, this is Halloween…”

#top ten #halloween #skeletons #nightmare before christmas #lucasarts #pixar #jason and the argonauts #quake #scotch skeleton #terminator #funny bones

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lumiereandcogsworth · 3 years

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3 and 9(out of your own)

thank you!!

3. what is your most popular fic?

based on hits, it’s my extended kiss scene fic (original version) called After the Kiss (576 words) clocking in at 1381 hits!! which is bonkers!! i only have two others over 1k hits so i’ll say those too 🥺

Sunrise, Anew (2k words) - takes place the next morning after the curse is lifted and in the same series as the first one — 1279 hits

Sleepless Nights (1k words) - just a sweet lil emotional hurt/comfort fic — 1068 hits!

those ones are all kinda on the older side of my works so i feel like they just have more hits bc they’ve been around longer. but, regardless of why they have the amount of hits they do, i’m honored!!

9. what are your favorite fics? (of mine!)

aaahh a lovely question!!

one of my big faves is Majesty of a Different Breed, which is the 10k fic i wrote about adam and belle getting a dog. no, i did not plan on this concept taking 10k words. yes, i love every bit of it. it’s just such a fun and sweet time!!!

another is my memories fic!! called Easy to Remember, Harder to Move on. it’s 5k and centered around the idea of belle and maurice moving out of the cottage to go start their lives at the castle (as belle and adam will soon be married) and maurice is going around his slowly emptying home and reflecting on memories of watching belle grow up. i loved writing this one SO much and it’s just so bittersweet <3

my prequel fic - Fading Memories is Your Dream - was my greatest fete. It clocks in at 18.8k which may be a lot or a little depending on who you ask, but it’s a LOT for me, as you may notice the majority of my works are around 1-2k. anyway it takes place when Adam is 15 years old, and it basically illustrates his initial fall into the depths of the completely lost and spoiled prince that you meet in the prologue of the film. i do love all my prequel adam fics, and they’re in a series if anyone’s interested, but this one was so much work and a challenge that i enjoyed completing. i love my boy!

also some little soft moments between adam & belle: Hands; Steps; Winter’s First Snowfall; Forever I’m Yours; How to Feel New; A New Intimacy

and finally, because i have a huge soft spot for seeing my otp be parents, here are some of my fave ones that are just SO soft: Golden Mornings; There Was Love, All Around; His Perfect Reality; Joy Overflowing; Their Little Wonder

also this extended scene!! after they went to paris!! because wow!! them!!!!

i keep wanting to add more but i’ll stop here! also please don’t misconstrue this for me thinking i’m some amazing writer or something. i just really love this movie and the world i’ve built for adam and belle, so pretty much all my fics bring me such joy :)

#i promise i literally just.. enjoy my fics #i don’t how how to explain this and not sound narcissistic i promise i’m not!!#i just like the world i’ve built!!#ok i’ll stop explaining myself. thank you for asking the question jskdjskd #thefishandthebait #answered #lydia writes!#long post

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domenicosalvaggio · 5 years

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MY TOP 12 FILMS OF 2019!

Why 12? One great film for every month. You’ll find a large variation in the films I selected. From blockbusters to art house hits. It’s simple, the films on the list resonated deeply and stayed with me for weeks and months. Here we go:

1. JOKER

‪The film that stunned the world and became the billion dollar clown. The cinematography, the acting and the screenplay are all stellar. It’s no fluke that JOKER became a cultural phenomenon. It tapped into the seething cauldron of anger that exists between the haves and have-nots. It takes place in a nebulous version of the 80’s but it could be about the One Percenters of today who greedily take everything and leave scraps for the rest of society. The Joker is everything you heard & more. It’s an indictment of the mental health system in America & an argument for how your parents & environment can make or break you. Joaquin Phoenix is ASTONISHING & Oscar bound. Be forewarned, the violence is brutal & sudden. This is the best film of the year‬. Would love to see this version of Joker go up against the next iteration of Batman. It would be the Atomic Bomb of superhero vs supervillain confrontations.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD

‪Brad Pitt is a magnificent unstoppable beast in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. He is the quintessential laid back California dude. His performance can only be described as effortless. Oscar will recognize him. Leo is poignant as the eternally optimistic fading star. I could’ve spent 10 hrs luxuriating in the world of this film. A wonderful look back at a bygone era. That ending was a total WOWZA. Very moving. Adore this film‬ so damn much.

3. STAR WARS THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

‪I grew up with this Saga. It’s hugely influential and I will always have a soft spot for the adventures that take place in Galaxy far, far away. Don’t listen to the naysayers and go in with childlike wonder and you’ll realize StarWars The Rise of Skywalker is Babu Frik-en Awesome! It’s everything you want from the end of the entire series. Hugely satisfying & emotional with non-stop action. Wept openly when a familiar hero showed up. Palpatine was a pure horror movie monster. Loved the culmination of the Rey/Kylo dyad. I want to say more but won’t get into spoiler territory. This is a great Christmas film to see with family on the biggest screen possible. Wowza!‬

4. PARASITE

‪Bong Joon Ho’s PARASITE is stunning and absolutely bonkers. I don’t want to spoil to much but this is one of the most original films of the year. Layered storytelling with compelling characters who insinuate themselves into others lives to a frightening degree. I’ve already said too much. See it! This film is definitely Oscar bound.

5. KNIVES OUT

‪KNIVES OUT is damn spectacular! The film is an extraordinary modern take on the whodunit genre. It’s CLUE for the new generation. It’s also a biting satire of the upper class. I didn’t want it to end. One of the year’s very best. What a fantastic megastar cast. Daniel Craig is sensational. Ana De Armas is tremendous. Captain America is the ultimate lovable douchebag. The film is both hilarious and suspenseful. It’s so well-written with plenty of twists. Stay away from spoilers. This is pure entertainment!

6. AVENGERS ENDGAME

‪Avengers Endgame is a satisfying, epic finale to the most ambitious movie series ever made. Way more somber & morose than anticipated. Reminded me very much of a DCEU film in many ways. Epic in both scale and emotion. Tony’s final words will echo through eternity in the world of comic book films. It broke every record imaginable and deserves all the accolades. Deserves a best picture nomination but I won’t hold my breath.

7. MIDSOMMAR

‪Midsommar is Nick Cage’s Wicker Man on meth with a steroid chaser. And yes, both films have someone wearing a bear costume. The craft on display is next level; shots, editing, cinematography are all top notch. Such a disturbing film. Florence Pugh gives a powerful performance. ‬This film stayed with me for weeks after I saw it. It does what all great films do: It casts a spell and bewitches you.

8. THE IRISHMAN

‪The Irishmen is Scorsese making the anti-Scorsese film. This is the ugly, seedy, quietly decrepit side of the Mafia. Gone is the thrill of being a MobStar. Replaced by old guys who are falling apart & willing to turn on each other on a dime. Pacino is glorious as Hoffa. Deniro is stellar.‬ This genuinely feels like the end of an era. Grew up watching these guys take over the world and now they’re feeble powerless men with broken souls. A tragic tale and Scorsese’s final word on the underworld universe that made him and his crew famous.

9. SHAZAM

Shazam is pure joy injected straight into your heartmeat. An ode to 80’s films like Goonies, Monster Squad, Big & The Golden Child. Zachary Levi delivers a delightful performance as do the kids & family. Fantastic action, great villain. Top notch VFX and heart. This film has so much damn heart. The Foster family and the message about how a good family gives you strength, confidence and morality is spot on and perfect for the times. It’s the quintessential family film of the year. The post credit scene is “super” AWESOME.‬

10. 1917

‪I implore you to see 1917 on the biggest screen possible & eschew the screeners. You will be dropped into a harrowing, hellish warzone. This film makes you feel like you were there. They should just give the cinematography Oscar to Deakins now. The one takes will go down as legend (I know it’s supposed to be one continuous take but I spotted at least 3 digital cuts. Still an impressive feat). Such a High-anxiety Wowza film. ‪We are inundated with explosions in movies but 1917 has an explosion that’s absolutely terrifying in its realism and verisimilitude. Made me jump out of my seat. This is one of the best films of the year. Filled with Indelible images. What an achievement by Sam Mendes.‬

11. DR SLEEP

Doctor Sleep is an audacious, sparawling horror film with multiple storylines that payed great homage to both the Shining & its sequel. One of the best & scariest films you’ll see this year. It had a scene that pushed the envelope of child violence that had me squirming in my seat. Ewan is stellar as adult Danny Torrance & newcomer Keliegh Currran gives one of the great child performances of all time. There’s a flying sequence that may be the most original moment of flight ever committed on film. Outdoes any Superman flight scene. This is one of the most terrifying films I’ve seen this year. A great time at the movies. Highly recommended.

12. JOJO RABBIT

‪I was profoundly moved by JOJO RABBIT a beautiful, bittersweet comedy about love, empathy and overcoming hate that is driven by fear and lies. Scarlett Johansson is positively luminous in the film. The boy is incredible. This film should not work & yet it had me in tears. A beautifully directed film and one of the best of the year.

Special mention to GLASS, ROCKETMAN, AD ASTRA, HUSTLERS, READY OR NOT, CRAWL, ESCAPE ROOM & BATTLE ANGEL ALITA. All hugely entertaining big screen experiences.

Happy 2020 Folks!

Be good to one another. Be kind. Be driven.

Your Friend, D.

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gingervsblondie · 5 years

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Blondie Brings Up Baby (1939)

8:38 PM, Thursday, 26 September 2019

Nineteen. Ni- Ni- Nineteen.

Ni- Ni- Nineteen.

Nineteen thirty-nine.

How does our favourite zany

Nuclear familial vignette

Get themselves into another casse-tête?

Dagwood’s filled with sandwiches while Flournoy’s filled with regret

And Alexander’s traumatized

You ready for more yet?

Blondie Brings Up Baby. Let’s get into it.

By the way, we’ve got a new head screenwriter, Gladys Lehman. Our old friend Dick Flournoy’s still on the Wikipedia page as “story by, (uncredited)” though.