#even through my mid-quality stream i was losing it

[the-mighty-het-speaks]

Metallica M72 World Tour Setlists

Phoenix, Arizona, USA (Night 1)

September 1st, 2023

[greatfunkystatic]

Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)

Holy shit. This game is fantastic. I have heard so much negativity about it, but honestly I enjoyed it the whole way through. I want to state first and foremost that I've been playing this game over the course of 3 months, and started it originally as a kind of joke because of the general "mid" reception I've heard about the game (but also partially watching Lythero playing the game on his streams and videos). What then commenced was me realizing certain mechanics and gameplay being absolutely fantastic, and asking myself "Holy shit is this game actually good?" I started to enjoy it more and more, and in the end, I finished all 10 endings with having played every single stage at least once, along with the Last Story. (I didn't install the improvements mod btw, this was all vanilla)

The writing was fun (a bit silly at times, but honestly I'd rather have them try to write something with some depth than just kinda tread over very simple and safe stories), and honestly dropped a lot of lore for Shadow. I don't care how cheesy people consider this game to be, I loved that on every ending Shadow took in what he learned about himself and claimed "THIS IS WHO I AM!" Along with that, honestly there were some cutscenes that were STRONG. In particular, I remember needing to take a moment on the cutscene where the GUN Commander confronted Shadow near the end of one of the routes because of just how raw the entire thing was. Them both went through so much and that honestly felt like such a moment of catharsis for both of them. This, along with the absolute existential crisis that Shadow goes through in the neutral endings (Which I will defend and honestly this story plot most makes sense for the neutral routes). I feel like it was actually handled really well, and the expressiveness of the animations throughout the entire game really added to the emotions from the voice acting and the storyt beats. Along with the story, the music was just banger after banger. Crush40 and Sonic Team almost never fail to drop absolute bangers, and they definitely didn't disappoint with this entry either. Great lil detail of different endings having different credits music is a great touch.

The gameplay was honestly pretty fun, and there were some things I wish they had brought over to other Sonic games that were just not there. Most notably, only losing 10 rings every time you get hit. Call me a filthy casual for it all you want, I'd at least want that as an option just for nice quality of life. Another that comes to my mind at the moment is the fact that certain rings you need to light speed dash through to explore the map will have invisible rings replace them when collected. This allows you to still light speed dash through them again, which is a very neat touch. I particularly just want this because of the collectables in the games that come after, like the medallions in Unleashed and the red rings for Colors and onward, which can be kind of a pain to collect. Speaking of red rings, I am not sure if it's like this for red rings as well, but I found the fact that you keep the keys even if you die, just as long as you reach the end of the stage without a game over. The homing attack as well felt really nice, with it being both fast while still feeling like there's some oomph to it. I don't particularly mind how the modern games handle the homing attack, with a bit of a jump up before you can press it again, but there's definitely something special about just bashing an enemy in multiple times in rapid succession.

The gunplay. Man, did this game get shit on for having gunplay. And to be genuinely honest, it really isn't that bad. It's a bit wonky when going really fast, sure, but I think the aim assist did very much help with it, and I did very much like the variety of weapons we had. Every stage, I noticed whatever kind of guns one would like - whether it be heavy hitting but slower attacks like rockets, or rapid-fire attacks like MGs - there were plenty to collect, without even having to farm. You can just run through the stage and if you kill the enemies you'd naturally keep up the gun you want. Or, if you don't want to, homing attacks work perfectly fine as well!

The mission aspect of the game was one that honestly, I find it alright. Some were definitely more fun than others (glaring at every "kill X aircraft as you go through the stage" mission), but for the most part I didn't mind them. I didn't play through every mission in the game (I did touch every stage at least once), but I feel that's a bit of a plus. I really did like how if there was a certain mission I really didn't want to play, I could go around it by doing some other order of missions. Now I know many people don't like the fact that you have to play through the first stage for *every* ending, but I personally didn't mind it. I can definitely see how if you were playing this game in a much shorter timespan, just how tiring it can be, but I personally didn't mind it. On the day that I played the most, I went through about 3 or 4 endings back to back in one session, and I didn't really find it dragging me down. I also have always been to believe that one of the greatest fun of Sonic games is not just in the first playthrough of the stages, but going back and playing them more and more to the point where you get more used to the layout and start to take some of the faster and more difficult routes. In many of the great sonic games, speed may be provided at some times yes, but *constant* speed is one that you have to earn through practice. It's rewarding in a very tangible way, and the replaying of the missions were a great way to feed into this aspect of Sonic games that many others don't really do. In most other games, sure you can go back, but like. Why would you. Unless you're like, collecting the emeralds or collectables like the red rings or medallions (which through most of the time is absolutely optional), there really isn't any reason to go back.

Now, I know I have been absolutely glazing this game this entire time, but I think it'd be unfair if I didn't mention some of my gripes, for which there were a couple. As I mentioned before, I really don't like the missions where you have to follow the aircraft. Along with that, my first playthrough of Mad Circuit was extremely disorienting, and even on the second runthrough of that stage feeling neutral at most. I also want to say that although I praised the quality of life for the keys, the keys themselves do very much feel like the most superfluous collectables for how hidden they are, with the doors hiding very useless stuff like extra weapons or vehicles. I was excited to find out what were behind the doors as I went through the stages, and was very disappointed when I finally had the opportunity to open a door and found Jack and Shit. Other than that, there's the one stage where you have to drive around an enclosed nonlinear space to either destroy 5 big bombs or 20 small ones, and that one sucked because it was both timed and also I got really lost. It was the one and only time I had to look up a guide to complete a mission, because my ass was so lost after like 3 tries. Oh yeah speaking of lost, one (not all, but just one of them) of the Lost Ark stages was also really fucking confusing to go through because of how samey every room looked. The ingame map didn't really help either. The last thing I can say is that the final boss fight was a bit mediocre, but honestly I could say that for Finalhazard as well x). Actually, unlike Finalhazard, I had an actual way to reliably collect rings so it's actually better than that.

Oh yeah also Black Doom fucking sucks as a navigator. "Go there." WHERE IS THERE, DAD? DAMN????

Despite the length of my complaints, I do want to stress that in the grand scheme of things they were pretty minor, and overall I had a great experience. I wish I had more to say, but honestly I do not have the brainpower to really dig into the intricacies or why the game was fun. It just kinda was. I found it more fun than Sonic Heroes (or at least, the little bit that I played. Maybe my opinion will change once I decide to fully play that but idk lol). Game was great, the experience was fun, and I can absolutely see myself going back and chipping away at getting every A rank in the game because I am a completionist fiend. If you're ever interested, then I compel that you give the game an honest and fair try. Try to at least go in with a more open of a mind than I did at the start. Don't let the general opinion sway your opinions, make your own decisions. If through all that, you still find the game to be mid, then that is understandable. But to me, this game is absolutely a Certified Mid Classic™.

[crediblebombthreat]

Tumblr Day 5ish De-Brief

I wanted to post this here so I can look back on it in disgust or curiosity later, not necessarily because I think anyone needs to read it. This is a bit of a long post, by the way. Consider before clicking.

It's very strange coming back here after seeing glimpses of it in the mid 2010s and seeing that it's basically the same. There's less porn and the overall post quality seems to have gone up slightly -- but the fundamental soul of the site is still the same one it was before metrics, engagement, and algorithms started to define what the internet was on a metaphysical (for lack of a better term) level. Ironically, the only other places I know of like this are the boards on 4chan too niche or pretentious to assimilate the flood of low-quality posts from rightoids that are either 16 or 47 years old. Everywhere else on the internet that people spend time on has an invisible coating of unreality over it.

This isn't to say that tumblr is immune -- you have things like Blaze -- but spending real money for notes isn't the point of the site.

If I find something fucked up and weird on YouTube, for example, it's like when an AI lets you win at chess. YouTube's algorithm knows I like weird videos, and this video has been determined by a network of keywords to be weird. The same (or very, very similar) applies to TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit (although the userbase is delusional and denies this -- go figure, they're redditors).

If I see something fucked up and weird on tumblr it's a result of the ever-churning slurry of content organically burping up a post from 2013 because a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend reblogged it a week ago. There is also a possibility that the person posting a sped up .gif of a caterpillar eating a leaf with the caption "ummm sh eis my fukcign sister!!!" payed upwards of $150 for me to see it, which is surreal in its own, different, way.

Because of this (and despite the culture of detachment), everything feels a bit more sincere. Which is definitely sometimes a weakness -- tumblr twee creates some of the most cloying garbage I've ever seen -- but it also sets up situations where (unlike everywhere else on the internet) the news that travels fastest isn't always bad news.

I imagine most users of tumblr are either aware of this or just take it for granted, but for a relative outsider it's a it's a good control on the direction the rest of the internet is going. Or, more accurately, where it is right now. I notice a general feeling of unease and dissatisfaction coming from a lot of people who use the internet for something other than a continuous stream of entertainment. Even dedicated internet trolls mourn for the days when you could dissolve the social fabric of a forum by using "(:" instead of ":)". As opposed to now where every online argument is a different flavor of the same three topics; all soaked in self-important moralism, and often framed through a reductive political lens -- the worst impulses of the 2010s internet concentrated and refined.

This isn't to say that the process of something gaining popularity and losing some of the quirks you appreciated about it, or the slow erosion of a medium is unnatural or anything. It's been happening since the dawn of time. It is, however, strange that it's happening to people in their teens and twenties rather than people in their forties and fifties.

The bad news is: as things reach new heights of profitability in capitalism, they are further alienated from a human element. The good news is: literally everyone is acutely aware of that, even if it's subconscious. It's why we still watch competitive chess between two people and why I believe AI art is nowhere near as catastrophic as one might think (among a few other reasons).

And because of that good news, tumblr will probably stay the correct type of shitty in the long-run. I don't see a world where there exists a corporate entity competent enough to algo-monetize tumblr while still retaining a userbase. And I DEFINITELY don't see a world where that hypothetical corporate entity would willingly buy tumblr.

I have other thoughts about the possible futures of the internet, but that's more applicable to a Substack article rather than a musing tumblr post. Additionally, all outcomes other than "capital snakes its way deeper into the processes of communication and we are helpless but to watch" must take into account that "capital snakes its way deeper into the processes of communication and we are helpless but to watch" is the most likely outcome considering nothing crazy happens.

But hey, something crazy usually happens.

[bondsmagii]

(ventilation life hack anon) i hear you! no sweat.

i have another option but itll cost a pretty penny.

you can get some small solar panels (about 15 inches [side note: this is how you know im american]) about 4 of them will work out. slap them in your window and they can hook up to an emergency battery. those big fancy ones that have outlets on em. depending on the energy n shit of your heater, the panels, and the battery, it would be about 4-12 hours charge, 12 hours run for a bunch of devices. hook your heater up to that. leave the panels in your window (even in countries with not alot of sunlight you should be able to get some energy) to get the battery charged up. then in the morning, slap that bad boy to your heater (i live in a small house thats only 2 room so my heater is very close to my bed. fire hazard but if thats what kills me thats a win) and put your clothes over it. should only take half an hour and not alot of energy from your battery but boom. warm clothes and a slightly warm room.

update: doing some searching to figure out the expenses. found out that good quality solar panels are like 15-20 euros for more than 4 of them??? fuck??? you might need wiring knowledge though fuck.

update update: you dont need wiring knowledge.

update update update: the battery pack in question is 100-200 euros for a good one. but because of wattage itll be a long charge time. i mean. its a one time purchase and you get warmth and a cheaper electric bill so... win?

update update update update: oh god update is going to lose its meaning to me. anywho the panels work on heavy overcast days so thats a win too.

god bless I love how you've looked into this like adore the stream of consciousness at the end but do not fear! this is not something available to us as, you know, money etc, but we do have sweaters and blankets. we could afford to put the heat on for a few hours a day and do plan to do so once the temperature reaches single figures in the house (in Celsius, don't worry...) but right now we're trying to hold out. it's money saving for the colder months (it doesn't get truly baltic until January/February here) rather than not having any money at all, you know? also while solar panels can work on overcast days, they would not be so efficient during polar night, which is what we experience for about three months (December to mid-February or so) -- the light never gets above twilight, and the sun does not properly rise. (we are very far north.) keeping a houses humidity level stable is actually far more efficient for retaining warmth, so a humidifier might be a better and cheaper investment if anyone out there is looking to raise the temperature by a few degrees!

not to get too much like a world politics class on here but for those of you who don't know, the UK is currently going through a cost of living crisis thanks to a lot of factors, namely Brexit, the war in Ukraine, and dreadful mismanagement by the incompetent and disorganised government. this crisis was predicted and hinted at a long time ago, but the government did sweet fuck all about it. now, before our winter has even begun, people are struggling to heat their homes -- some people have seen their energy bill go up from double digits per month (no more than £99) up to several thousand a month. the energy cap -- the absolute upper amount that can be charged per unit of fuel or electricity) has risen dramatically, been capped briefly, and then risen again. the country is running out of electricity and may have to do something called "load shedding" over the winter, where the electricity is shut off in a controlled blackout to save supplies. the last I checked, this would be for four hours in the evening, leaving people with no electricity in the very dark evenings right over dinner time, and right at the time where parents with school-aged children are trying to get them ready for the next day/kids are doing their homework. a lot of people require electricity to power the boiler to heat their homes and water, too, thus leaving people without heating or hot water in the dead of winter. this is predicted for January and February, but already people are unable to heat their homes, have to choose between eating and being warm, or have to skip meals so their kids can eat. (the cost of everything has gone up, even daily essentials, and the country is in a massive recession.) kids are showing up to school unable to concentrate because of hunger, or too tired and cold to work properly. the government has rolled out some relief, but it totals about £400 for the whole October-February period -- not even enough for one month of comfortable heating for some people. it is absolutely insane.

so yeah, don't worry about us. we can manage it if we're careful and don't mind a bit of discomfort for a few minutes as we change or shower, or for a few hours as the room warms up from the night. in the depth of winter we'll be able able keep the house cool but comfortable. but there are millions of others who are going to freeze and starve this winter, or who are going to have to go into debt because they have babies who cannot get this cold, or who are elderly and will have to walk to coffee shops to nurse a single drink for hours just for the warmth of the store, or ride buses all day just to get out of the cold. worry about these people -- all of them are victims of our absolutely inhumane government, who could have prepared for this and done something to ease it, but chose not to.

[st5lker]

rise of the resistance is genuinely a well crafted experience the issue is just that literally nobody gives a shit about the disney sequel trilogy. like even the mid 2010s era "buy anything disney" people have been steadily losing interest if you look at the numbers anywhere but like maybe streaming (which is primarily children watching on loop, its not gonna translate into park ticket sales like box office success might.) like honestly if they had either done an original ip or god forbid based it on the original trilogy instead it would have farrrr more staying power. when me and my friends went on it a week ago our takeaway was like thats a fun ride but as not really star wars fans at all and definitely not sequel trilogy fans it kind of did nothing for us and made the preshow feel like it dragged on just a bit too long because it fully expects you to be hyped at Zomg First Order In Real Loife the entire way through the literally half hour long total preshow. for as expensive as that ride must have been, i cant see it being more than 15 or 20 years before its replaced (if even that, 10 might be more likely tbh), which is something you cant say about rides like haunted mansion or even the more "mediocre" but still original idea dark rides like journey into imagination. cosmic rewind is a great coaster with a fantastic preshow (the teleportation effect genuinely wowed all of us) but the guardians of the galaxy theming did very little for it other than giving them an excuse to play cheesy 80s music from the cars which i must admit was actually a great touch. but i still feel like that ride, while it probably will stick around as just a good coaster, can't last more than 15 years before it needs a reskin. chris pratt as starlord is nowhere near as timeless as like, rod sterling at tower of terror. once those movies inevitably lose any good will from audiences by the endless declining quality sequels, a guardians of the galaxy themed ride (to a specific film with specific actors, no less) will lose any of the already small drawing power it already had and only feel extremely dated.

[ahallatt]

New Zealand: West Coast Wilderness Bike Trail from Greymouth to Ross

I recently spent four days biking the West Coast Wilderness trail, and, despite the classic West Coast inclement weather, I loved it. Here's a quick rundown of my journey:

Day 1: Greymouth to Kumara

Only really half day of biking to start. It wasn’t too demanding, but I had less energy at the end of the three hours (much of it stopping to read signs or look at stuff) then on the rest of the trail.

I saw a dead bumblebee on the path in front of me as I left Greymouth. It strangely affected me. As I get older I find these things harder to bear. The death of nature everywhere.

I pressed on, relying on my gut feeling to guide me when the signs disappeared. Trail markings seemed more consistent later in the trip, or maybe I became better at finding them.

The highlight of the day was the wooded section towards Kumara, where you lose the noise of the road and hear only water and bellbirds. Crossing the gorge was a treat. As was the pub at the end. We stayed in the backpackers, which was a bargain at $50 for the double room.

Day 2: Kumara to Lake Kaniere

Day 2 was a ride of over 50 km, mostly uphill. Despite the rain (my feet were wet within minutes and the rain crept in to the rest of my gear reaching all but my very core), it was my favourite day of the trip. The West Coast rainforest was stunning, with tree ferns, fun fungi, fern-lined avenues, and beautiful water races. A hare crossed my path to begin with and it seemed like a better omen.

I was guided by a shag (cormorant) flying over the lake as I came into the first shelter for a cup of tea and some River Cottage seedy slice. Excuse photo quality. My phone doesn't do well in the rain.

After my first stop there was a slow incline. Sometimes it seemed like I might be on the level, even going down, but the tea-stained streams and water races beside the track would be running in the opposite direction.

After the boardwalk the trail goes along a well formed track that has been benched to take most water off it. I was never bogged down in mud like on some trails.

There is a high water route for when the weirs run too high to cycle through. I asked some electric bikers going the other way whether the weirs were open and they said they were but that they were too high for them to go through. Perhaps because they have batteries and electrics that would not do well in the mid calf water I found. It was fun to pedal through them on a pushbike.

When I finally arrived at Lake Kaniere, I was grateful for the drying room and hot shower at the homestay. The host, Grant, ran a tight ship, with a list of things to do to keep the place comfortable, including removing our muddy gear and keeping everything closed against the West Coast sandflies.

Day 3: Lake Kaniere to Hokitika

Day 3 started with a refreshing swim in the lake, with only a diving duck (scaup) for company. Along the way, I saw a South Island tomtit perched on a small tree, and we stared at each other for a few moments before it flew away.

The ride through the beautiful forest was easy and then I was going along the Hokitika river and back to civilisation with a jolt. A huge mass of pipes, concrete and steel embodies the talent Fontera has to make money from turning clean water into milk and dirty run off, before using coal to dry it into powder to ship overseas. But it is jobs and money. We need better jobs and more than just money. Clean rivers would be nice.

Day 4: Hokitika to Ross

The final morning of my trip was spent exploring Hokitika, a town that has suffered through the Covid pandemic and is struggling to get back on its feet now that tourists have returned. I was relieved to leave the shiny, happy and sterile campground (which was recently a natural swamp that was drained and filled in with gravel - isn’t it weird that we call areas like this “reclaimed”?) and get back into nature, although it took some time to do so.

I went over the concrete bridge that has been part of the taming of this wild river mouth and coast which used to wreck a ship every 10 days in the 1860s at the height of the Gold Rush. A time when men who often couldn't swim took their chances to get rich quick. That that gold rush mentality endures in New Zealand. Gold gave way to coal and sheep and now cows.

Then I rode past the golf course before taking a welcome turn into more regenerating nature reserve, escaping into dense thickets of new growth forest being greeted by the sound of bellbirds with traffic muffled, but the pounding surf breaking through.

Bellbirds sang me through the tunnel of trees that were near the wetland of Mahinipua reserve which ends at a weird plantation of tall trees,

Coming off the tramway track I was annoyed at myself to find I missed the turn for the picnic track to the lake — the only way to see it on this trail. A missed opportunity to swim as well. I didn't want to backtrack and add 4 km to the journey. So onward and out on the tarmac for a fairly easy ride for a few kilometres on a wide road with vehicles giving me a decent amount of room. A kea crossed my path as I cycled toward the Totara Lagoon.

It's a long boring slog along the old rail line to Ross. More than a dozen kilometres with nothing but track and flax for most of it. If I did the trail again I would probably stop at Treetops.

There was a brief reprieve in the monotony when flaxes gave way to show the wider expanse of the lagoon and the hills beyond. It didn’t last long before the flaxes closed back in again. When I got to the end of the rail line I should have headed to the finish but instead I turned right and had a welcome swim at Ross beach. If you stay at its very expensive campground you do have the advantage of being right by the beach. But I turned back to rejoin my other half at another pub before we headed on towards home.

Overall I enjoyed the trail immensely and recommend it as one of the best off road rides in New Zealand. My favourite sections were those that were in nature. Even if they were in the rain.

[lucemferto]

I talk about the current troubles of the Dream SMP.

If you want to help me out, please reblog! You can also retweet my tweet and upvote my reddit post. Thank you.

Script under the cut

I really hope Technoblade succeeds in breaking Dream out of prison.

Now why would I say that? Well, it’s because there’s this feeling in the fandom right now that Dream SMP Season 3 is … going slow. That there’s not much happening. Some have blamed it on the pace of how lore streams are doled out, saying we get too little lore stretched out over too much time. Others postulate that it’s the quality of the lore – that the individual plot points are badly told or that the high production value of certain streams prevent the story from gaining momentum.

Now, because I’m me, I think I identified the problem as something that’s structurally wrong with Season 3 as opposed to Seasons 1 and 2. In order to explain that we must look at one of my favourite narratological theories: the Three-Act-Structure.

But before we get into that, here’s your obligatory reminder to please like this video, comment your thoughts down below in order to help me with YouTube’s algorithm and subscribe if you really like my stuff. Please feel free to check out my social media presences and share my videos on there so that more people have the chance to see them. Thank you so much.

Let’s get back to the video:

 Chapter 1: The Three-Act-Structure Explained

The Three-Act-Structure as a model to explain narratives finds its roots far in the past with its earliest recorded instance being in the fourth century by the Roman grammarian Aelius Donatus though similar ideas were also expressed by everyone’s favourite Greek philosopher Aristotle.

Since then, the model has been continuously evolved and used throughout recorded history. There are also alternative models such as the Five-Act-Structure, the Six-Act-Structure, the Eight-Act-Structure, the … Nine-Act-Structure, Jesus Christ. But the Three-Act-Structure has reigned the undisputed champion in modern-day creation and analysis of narratives.

The particulars of the Three-Act-Structure as we know it today were codified in Syd Field’s 1979 work “Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting”, which has since become the Go-To-Work when it comes being a screenwriter in Hollywood. You want to write a script? You need the read the “Screenplay”.

The modern Three-Act-Structure is comprised of the following points/sequences:

-       The Backstory/Exposition: Exactly what it says on the tin. Sets up the Ordinary World that the characters inhabit, let’s us know about what character’s general deal is. It serves as an introduction to the story and world of your narrative.

-       The Point of Attack: This one is not often talked about and doesn’t feature in every story, but it’s still worth mentioning. This is where the major tension/conflict/dramatic question (structurally, these terms fulfil roughly the same function) is set into motion. It usually doesn’t include the protagonists of the story, but rather the antagonists.

-       The Inciting Incident: This is where the protagonists are sent on their way. We are introduced to their personal conflict and given a reason as to why they would have to leave the Ordinary World behind.

-       The Turning Point: This marks the end of Act I, where the personal conflicts of the protagonists and the major conflict of the overarching story intersect and coalesce. It is the natural fallout of the inciting incident, the big dramatic status quo change that we need in order to get the story going.

This naturally leads into Act II, where all the minor character conflicts are resolved and integrated into the larger conflict. This is what is referred to as the Rising Action: through the resolution and incorporation of the minor conflicts into the major conflicts, the story gains momentum. The action rises.

This act has two big culminations:

-       The Mid Point: The first culmination or Mid-Point sees some sort of shift in the major conflict. Maybe all the minor conflicts set-up in Act I are resolved and thus the major conflict becomes the full focus or the major conflict gains an additional factor. Instead of defeating the evil bad guy, the Heroes now have to defeat the Bad Guy and save the Damsel

-       The Lowest Point: The Lowest Point marks the end of Act II. Here the villains are just short of victory or maybe even achieve victory. In a romantic movie, this is the cliché end of Act II fallout which naturally leads into chasing the Hero chasing the love interest into an airport.

With the Lowest Point, the Heroes begin the third act almost or fully defeated. The stakes are high and everything seems hopeless. But then comes:

-       The Twist/Resolution: Usually, the twist coincides with either the protagonist or some sort of character having a eureka-moment or resolving their personal conflict – their Want vs. Need.

-       The Climax: With their problems resolved, the protagonists can venture forth to stop the villains or antagonistic force or save their love life.

-       The Dénouement: After the villain’s defeat/the resolution of the final conflict, the protagonist returns to the ordinary world, but changed by their experiences. The Dénouement is the one part of Act III, that can really drag it out – think the many, many endings of Return of the King for instance.

Up until now, I usually focused on that end of Act II/Act III-part when discussing the storytelling of the Dream SMP such as the Final Disc War, November 16th or Doomsday. Because Doomsday wasn’t just the Lowest Point in terms of storytelling quality.

But for Season 3, I instead want to focus on this section, The Inciting Incident and The Turning Point. Because this is where the current storytelling falters. The narrative has failed to pick up momentum, something that is achieved through a successful Inciting Incident and Turning Point.

So, I want to make the theory palpable and apply the Three-Act-Structure – with focus on Act I and early Act II – to all three Seasons of the Dream SMP to see where Seasons 1 & 2 succeeded and Season 3 failed.

 Chapter 2: The Three-Act-Structure Applied

Despite being much less written out and planned and more focused on the roleplay-aspect, both Season 1 and Season 2 somehow stumbled into recreating the Three-Act-Structure pretty well (S2 had its problem, but on the whole, it was still generally discernible).

I’m not here to discuss why narrative conventions and tools of literary analysis are applicable to something as seemingly idiosyncratic as the Dream SMP, I will do that in a future video. For the purposes of this video, we will simply have to take it at face value that these tools are applicable.

Season 1, which was probably the most consistently and competently written out of the three seasons thus far, has a very clear major tension/conflict: Who gets to steer the fate of L’Manburg, whether that be through stewardship or dissolution. It ties deeply into the personal conflict of our protagonist Wilbur as well as the external threat as represented by our villain JSchlatt, the best character in the story.

And not just that, basically every character whether that be Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Dream or Technoblade is invested in seeing this major tension resolved.

All this is achieved through a wonderful inciting incident and turning point. The inciting incident, the personal conflict for our protagonists, is Wilbur calling a presidential election. He wants to solidify power; his personal conflict being gaining full control over L’Manburg – I will talk about it more in my Wilbur-video.

This leads to the Turning Point, which in this case is a very natural cause and effect: Wilbur loses the election his sense of self shattered and JSchlatt, best character, takes over L’Manburg declares himself Emperor and exiles Tommy and Wilbur. The protagonists are forced out of their Ordinary World and the dynamic of the server is changed forever. The Main Tension or Major Conflict has been fully established.

This has server-wide consequences that every character is impacted by. All the many personal conflict are now framed by this all-encompassing major conflict. Thus, everything feels like it’s building up towards the same climax. Whether that be Fundy’s personal conflict as a deep-undercover spy, Niki’s conflict as the resistance in Manburg, Quackity’s struggle for power under Schlatt or the threat of Schlatt trying to expand Manberg into Dream SMP territory.

This even applies to the most disconnected conflict in Act II: The War between Sapnap and Tommy. Because even here, Sapnap’s stated goal is to gather enough power to take over Manberg. Now, that the power dynamic has shifted once it has signalled to other antagonists that the power dynamic can shift once more. The Balance of the Ordinary World is disrupted.

And from the Pogtopia-side, this conflict serves as a great way to not only build up their team, but also as a mini-version of their major conflict. If they cannot defeat Sapnap, what chance do they stand against Big Bad Emperor Schlatt.

Season 2, in spite of all the problems that it has, also managed to pull off the inciting incident and turning point rather well. The Inciting Incident here being Tommy burning down George’s house – his intent being to gain some leverage to win his discs back – which then again lead very gracefully into the Turning Point: Tommy being exiled from L’Manburg.

Tommy’s personal conflict – regaining his discs – was folded into the major conflict: Breaking Dream’s grip over the SMP (and in effect creating a new power dynamic on the server).

Tommy’s exile led to Tubbo being pushed by Quackity to institute the Butcher Army – an antagonistic force intent on making L’Manberg the strongest nation on the server; in effect dethroning Dream. This would of course lead to Hog Hunt and Technoblade’s involvement; ultimately bringing a lot of momentum into the narrative.

Now, Season 2 doesn’t pull this off as graciously as Season 1: You will have noticed that both the Inciting Incident as well as the Turning Point are pretty exclusively focused on Tommy which leads to the major conflict revolving mostly around Tommy and the characters in his orbit – which is not ideal when dealing with an ever-expanding ensemble cast.

While Season 1’s Inciting Incident and Turning Point also had Wilbur as their centre point, they were open enough to allow for other characters such as Quackity, Sapnap and most crucially Schlatt to naturally integrate themselves into the narrative.

What also doesn’t help is that the Rising Action up until the Midpoint is almost exclusively focused on Tommy as I discussed in my Philza-video. There is dramatic and narrative momentum, but it comes at the expense of basically every other character or storyline. The Butcher Army and New L’Manburg are painfully underexplored.

But still, despite its flaws, Season 2 managed to get the ball rolling. So where did Season 3 go wrong?

The main problem that Season 3 has is that it presented us with a large number of potential inciting incidents, but no concrete turning point. We have a lot of personal conflicts, but are as of yet missing the big major tension or conflict that ties it all together; that gives the framework in which the personal conflicts of the characters can intersect and resolve.

I think just to showcase how scattershot Season 3’s storytelling is right now; I’ll have to list all the big plot points of the season as they happened:

1.    Tommy meets with the Egg and shows an immunity to it. The Egg orders the Eggpire to kill Tommy in order to proceed with their plan

2.    The prison gets into lockdown mode, while Tommy is visiting Dream

3.    Tommy gets killed by Dream

4.    Tommy gets resurrected by Dream

5.    Technoblade and Ranboo come into contact with the Egg

6.    Quackity comes into contact with the Egg

7.    The Syndicate meets up and checks out Snowchester

8.    Tubbo loses a nuke

9.    The Red Banquet

10.  Tommy breaks into the prison

11.  Wilbur gets resurrected

Now, quite a number of those could have worked as either inciting incidents or turning point with some narrowing the scope of the narrative more than other. The early points involving Tommy for instance would have pushed him again into the role protagonist akin to how it worked in Season 2, while others like the Syndicate, the Red Banquet or Wilbur’s resurrection would have established the respectively involved groups or characters as the drivers of the major tension.

But none of these avenues are taken. All these conflicts are still insular; their resolutions don’t build to anything.

Tommy’s resurrection – which in my opinion is the first plot point that could have been used as the Turning Point relatively easily – changes the course of the prison and Las Nevadas-storyline, but has little to no impact on the Eggpire, Syndicate or Nuke-storylines.

Similarly, Tubbo losing the nuke could have led to the major tension becoming every faction hunting for the missing nuke in order to fulfil their personal agendas. But again, no dice.

And this just keeps adding up and up. Each new plot point subconsciously leads the viewer to expect that this will be the one to establish a major, unifying tension for the season – and then nothing comes of it. Though the volume of “lore” is still relatively high, the narrative momentum that is needed in order to make the viewer invested in the storyline is diminished with every potential turning point that is ignored in favour of more set-up.

And this structural problem of Season 3 when compared to Seasons 1 and 2 is made the most apparent when looking at …

 Chapter 3: The Eggpire

Oh, my poor boys. Where did it all go wrong?

To give some context: The Eggpire or Crimson-storyline actually started in the middle of Season 2, where they managed the impossible: Establishing a storyline with some narrative momentum and impact outside of the major conflict.

So, how did they do that and do it successfully at that?

The first thing we need to understand is that the Season 2 Eggpire-storyline basically involved no one from the “principal cast”. As such, the story was not chained to the developments that were going on there – such as Exile, Hog Hunt, the Green Festival, etc. – and instead had more freedom to do their own stuff.

The Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 was for the most part self-contained. So much so, that people were viewing it not as a part of the on-going narrative, but rather in the vein of Tales from the SMP: A story that stands alone, the resolution of which would have no impact on the server as a whole.

And, to be fair, they could have gone that route. But the writer(s) behind the Eggpire-storyline decided to be more ambitious.

The Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 follows its own mini-version of the Three-Act-Structure, with BadBoyHalo serving as its protagonist. The big narrative movements coincide and are influenced with dramatic movement in his own personal conflict. He is the Wilbur of this storylines – the once good man (relatively speaking), who falls from Grace.

Now, the thing that makes the Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 quite brilliant is that they ultimately tied the resolution of their tension into the major conflict/tension of the Season 2.

Doomsday saw the Lowest Point of the main storyline of Season 2. With L’Manburg’s destruction and Dream’s future imprisonment, there was a huge power vacuum on the server – a power vacuum that BadBoyHalo, now fully under the control of the Egg, was ready to fill.

The climax of the Eggpire-storyline in Season 2 saw the rise of the Eggpire as they spread the seeds of the Crimson in the L’Manburg-crater, intent on taking over server – thus adding onto the dramatic tension that Doomsday already established, making the Lowest Point feel even more foreboding and successfully linking their erstwhile separate storyline to the main tension of the overall narrative. The villains for Season 3 seemed to be perfectly set-up.

And then Season 3 rolled around and they … bungled it completely.

Though the Eggpire eventually came into contact with almost every active character in Season 3 – such as Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, Technoblade and Quackity – they completely failed at driving the major conflict and establishing themselves as the main antagonistic force of the storyline the same way Schlatt and Dream had done in the Seasons prior.

The biggest missed opportunity in that regard is without a doubt the Red Banquet. Now, I talked in the past about how the Red Banquet failed just on its own – at least a specific aspect of it – but now we’ll have to talk about how the Red Banquet fails in the context of Season 3.

Because this was the moment that all the storylines could have been brought together. The Eggpire could have succeeded in their endeavour and established themselves as the most prominent force on the serve. This event would have impacted the server as a whole and thus the entire storyline.

Immediately we would have had a major conflict to drive all other storylines – such as Tommy’s storyline, Snowchester, the Syndicate, Kinoko Kingdom and Las Nevadas – to stop the Eggpire from fully taking over the server. All the character-specific conflicts could have then happened within the framing of this major tension.

Maybe Tubbo and the rest are hunting for the nuke, because they think it’s the only way to stop the Eggpire. Maybe the Eggpire wants to free Dream, because he could be of use for the Crimson. Tommy could get abducted by the Eggpire because he is some sort of chosen one or whatever and the onus would fall on the other characters to save him and stop the villains – so Tommy would become the damsel effectively.

Maybe they decide that the only way to defeat the Eggpire is to bring back Wilbur and that’s how that storyline gets integrated. Maybe the disparate forces disagree on that or other plot-points and there’s some infighting between them.

But still: All conflicts would be unified by this one major tension. The Red Banquet would have been the Turning Point to lead into Act II of Season 3, where all the problems would be viewed with the knowledge that the Eggpire and the Crimson was looming in the distance.

Alas, we did not get that. Instead, the Red Banquet turned out to be just another plot point in a long line of plot points that promises more in the future. Smaller personal conflicts are resolved just within the limited scope of their individual storyline and a major tension is yet to be seen.

When Bad says that there’s just one more Egg-stream planned, I hope he’s either misleading or not being clear enough on what he means. Because if this was it; if the Eggpire-storyline just kinda dies here – too connected to all other storyline to be seen as standalone and yet too separated to be enjoyed in the context of Season 3 as a whole – then it would be a worse writing choice than Doomsday.

 Epilogue: How the Prison Break can bring it all together

To bring it all back to the sentence I opened this video with: I hope Technoblade succeeds in breaking Dream out of prison, because this could finally be the Turning Point that introduces a major tension to the narrative of Season 3.

I hoped that Wilbur’s resurrection would fill that role, but disappointingly that plot point is again relegated to driving the tension of a few chosen storylines instead of providing a major tension for all players involved.

And with five months into Season 3, this Act 1 has gone on for far too long! For comparison, the entire written storyline of Season 1 encompassed 4 months. Season 2 took place in only 2 months. Season 3 has already exceeded both their runtimes and still seems to have yet to truly start.

Whether Technoblade breaks Dream out or Quackity succeeds in trapping Technoblade in Pandora’s Vault – there needs to be a turning point somewhere in sight.

Because my biggest fear is that we’re already past it. That the Eggpire-storyline will just fizzle out and that some other plot point will retroactively reveal itself as the turning point – because that would mean that Season 3 would have a horrifically unfocused, saggy and just generally unengaging second act. And that would be a shame.

Thank you so much for watching. Once again, please feel free to like, comment and subscribe. The links to my social media are all in the description down below. I have a bunch of stuff planned for the future including a very long video on Wilbur as well as two videos that have nothing to do with Dream SMP.

Until then, please be excite.

[scullydubois]

Only the Light Ch. 20

20/? | AU where Melissa moves in with Scully after Scully’s abduction | angst, msr slow-burn, occasional fluff | currently: mid-s3 (canon-divergent) | T | 4.7k | previous chapters | read on ao3 | tagging: @today-in-fic <3

I now present to you a chapter that is filled with more angst than Chris Carter could ever dream of, and for that, I am truly sorry. 

Scully and Mulder's foray into domesticity with Emily is interrupted by the past catching up to them. Faced with despair, they cling even tighter to each other.

--------------------------------

Scully is granted maternity leave, though it’s only for two weeks, which Missy let her know is “a piss-poor bargain.” And she knows this is true, but she also has more incentive to stay at her job than ever, so she’d like not to lose it. The fact that advocating for herself and her child would mean risking her job is a mess in itself, but one lone woman can’t be expected to take down the patriarchy, and besides, she’s already tried and failed. 

As for she and Mulder, they hide their flirtation in plain sight. Mulder’s perpetually present in body or spirit, but his behavior never reveals anything more than it did before. Every morning he swings by to say hi, brings Scully coffee and a bagel with full-fat cream cheese, and checks if Emily’s picked up any new words. Personally, he’s working on “alien” and if you ask him, she’ll get it soon. She knows that it refers to her UFO stuffie, so sounding out the letters can’t be far behind, much to her mother’s dismay.

On Wednesday of the first week, he shows up at 6pm with takeout carbonara from a local Italian joint. His presence makes every Scully girl happy, but it makes one in particular the happiest, and Melissa realizes that there are definitely things her sister has failed to mention. She doesn’t question it, but watches with glee as the situation unfolds. 

After that first night, Mulder keeps coming back with dinner and refuses to let either sister shoulder the cost. On Friday, he stays for a movie too and gets to participate in Emily’s nightly tucking-in ritual (a tickle on the left foot, a tickle on the right foot, and a big smooch on the forehead). 

Saturday afternoon, he joins them for a stroller push through the park, earning some serious side-eye from Scully when he suggests that they stop at the playground because, according to the mama bear, “Em can only take six steps at a time, Mulder.” So instead they buy hotdogs from a vendor and eat them on a bench, Emily sandwiched between her mother, her aunt, and her...Mulder. They couldn’t ask for more.

That night, Mulder hangs around after dinner because what else is he gonna do? Go home and watch old baseball games until he falls asleep? A new leaf has been offered to him, and he’s gotta turn it. 

He’s baffled when, upon announcing that it’s Emily’s bathtime, Scully goes to the kitchen and switches on the sink. 

Scully raises an eyebrow at him. “What, your mother never washed you in the sink when you were a baby?” 

“Not that I know of...I have a hard time envisioning myself ever fitting in a sink.”

Scully scoffs. “I forget. You were a Vineyard boy.” 

Before he can come up with a smart response to that (as if there actually is one), Missy pipes up. “Oh, I bet you were the kid that took baths with your mother,” she teases. “Care to confirm or deny?”

“If I did I blocked it out of memory, thank god,” he testifies. 

Having spread a towel on the counter, Scully strips Emily down and perches the girl on her hip. She sticks her hand under the faucet. 

“That’s not too hot, do you think?” she asks Missy, who tests it as well.

“That should be fine.”

Mulder joins in too, and immediately regrets it. He shrinks away from the water, shaking droplets all over the room. “Jesus, Scully! Are you trying to boil her?”

“Babies lose heat quickly because of their body surface to weight ratio,” she says matter-of-factly. “They’re more susceptible to the cold.”

“I think the cold will be the least of her worries,” Mulder quips.

“If you really think it’s too hot, I’ll turn it down…” There’s a concerned crease beneath her eyes, and it makes Mulder feel bad about his joking.

“No, no, you know what you’re doing,” he assures her. “You’re her mother.”

As she lowers Em into the sink, Scully’s heart twinges. Her. A mother. How many times will she have to hear this before it stops feeling like news to her? 

One week and bathtime has already become routine. Missy fills a plastic cup and pours it gently over her niece, the water cascading down Em like she is nature’s own. Scully soaps her palms, then glides over her daughter’s skin with such care that its memory may blight any future affection Em is graced with. And then another waterfall, and the gentle brush of a wash cloth against eyes and nose. 

Scully squeezes a penny’s worth of baby shampoo into her hand, looks to Mulder. “Come on, get in here. You’re not afraid to get your hands dirty, are you?” she says with a smirk.

He smirks back and shakes his head as she lifts his open palm and shrinks her accumulation to a dime. “Although, technically I am getting my hands cleaner…”

She boops him right on the nose with a shampooed finger. He laughs.

Missy smiles. Oh, to see destiny play out right in front of you. “Someone’s cracking dad jokes,” she points out, unable to resist. This observation is much too on-the-nose for the pair (quite literally for Mulder), who simultaneously blush but say nothing.

Mulder wipes the shampoo from his nose and plants it on Emily’s head, joining his partner in making soapy circles over the girl’s tuft of strawberry hair. Scully’s full attention is directed toward her daughter. As soon as the lather is sufficient, she dons the lifted lilt of motherhood. “Okay, time to rinse! Missy, will you do the honors?”

Missy turns the faucet, fills the cup, and lets it flow over Emily. Mulder and Scully wash their hands off in the stream. 

And as Scully leans for the towel, a splash of red dirties its fresh white surface. Mulder notices it first. He points at his partner’s porcelain face. “Scully, you’re bleeding.”

Her hand shoots to her nose. Sure enough, it stains her fingers. “Shit.” She turns away, goes for a tissue. “I haven’t had nosebleeds since I was fourteen,” she tells them, as if that invalidates this one. She wipes away a glob of blood, her stomach turning. “Missy--” her voice shakes involuntarily, “--will you dry Em off?”

“Uh-huh.” She nudges Mulder. “Will you grab a new towel from the linen closet?” she whispers, not wanting to further upset her sister.

Mulder goes off without a word, and Missy squeezes out Em’s hair as best she can. “What a pretty girl!” she gushes. “All clean!”

“Yee!” Emily throws her little fists in the air, injecting joy back into the room. 

“Time to put your PJs on, and get a tickle, tickle, smooch.”

Mulder scrambles back in with a new towel, skirting around Scully, who remains occupied with her own situation. He slides the soiled towel away and helps Missy swaddle Em. Mulder ruffles the little girl’s hair, and she laughs like a music box. 

“Mol-dy.” She spits it out in halves, as if she’s been rehearsing. 

Mulder’s eyes water with recognition. “Mulder? Mul-der? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Moldy,” the girl declares again, certain of herself.

Missy adjusts Em on her hip, smiles at Mulder. “Looks like you’re Moldy now.”

Mulder bites his lip to hide his overwhelming delight. “Yeah, I...I never thought I'd be so happy to be called moldy.”

Next thing he knows, Scully is at his shoulder with a tissue stuffed up her nostrils. “Wait, what’s going on?”

“Em called me Moldy,” he tells her, full of satisfaction.

“Oh.” It comes out relatively unimpressed, but really, she’s just distracted. “Missy, will you get a diaper on her before there’s an accident? I would but I’m still--” She gestures to her nose. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Missy smiles at the baby in her arms. “PJ time, Em!” They go off toward the bedroom, a happy pair.

As soon as Em is out of sight, Mulder spirals toward his partner, panic-stricken. The glee of moments ago has evaporated. 

“Are you okay?” He touches her hair, shoulders, and the familiar small of her back, unsure of where he should land. 

“I’m fine, it’s fine.” Her grip on his elbows--keeping his hands firmly placed on her waistline--suggests otherwise. 

“You’ve got to see a doctor,” he pleads. “This could be...”

“This could be what, Mulder?” The steel in her blue eyes is a death grip. She’s never liked being told the obvious. 

“Scully…” He sighs, rubs his neck, wills her to say what they both know. When she doesn’t, he takes his hands off her and wrings them together. “The Mufon women...they said it would happen to all of them eventually.” He’s careful not to lump Scully in with their group. 

“And what do they know?” she retorts. “One of them was sick. One.”

“Okay, well, don’t you think it’s better to be safe than sorry?” he reasons. “You have Emily to look out for now.”

Scully rolls her eyes. “Don’t guilt trip me. It’s a nosebleed. Those happen all the time for completely benign reasons.”

“Yeah, but they don’t happen to you. You just said--you haven’t had one since you were fourteen.”

She clenches her jaw. He’s right, and she’s playing the fool. His position is the one she would take if this were anyone other than herself. She’s gonna have to lose this fight with as much grace as possible.

“Fine. I’ll get it checked out, but they’re gonna think I’m insane for coming in because of one nosebleed.”

“That’s a nice change of pace--you being the insane one for once.”

“Well, you’re the one who wants me to go, so you’re not out of the woods.”

“Good, I’ve finally got some company!”

Scully smiles in spite of herself. “Yes, yes you do.”

--------------------------------------

It happens very quickly, as most calamities of life can be said to. This gives it the unreal quality of a nightmare that might soon be woken up from, if there is any justice in the world.

Scully snags a doctor’s appointment for three days after the initial nosebleed. By the time she walks into the waiting room, one nosebleed has quadrupled into four, and her minor concern has snowballed into abject terror. 

Margaret Scully drove into the city to watch Emily so Missy could join her sister. Scully insisted that she would go alone, but Missy wouldn’t accept this. She threatened to tell Mulder the details of the appointment if Dana didn’t let her go, and that was enough to earn her a spot in the passenger seat. Scully can’t take the thought of Mulder witnessing the worst--let alone her reaction to the worst. 

And so it goes something like this: they are taken to an exam room, at which point Scully explains her situation to a nurse, including that she has recently learned she is at high risk for cancer. The nurse assures her that such a diagnosis is highly unlikely, but makes a note for the doctor. The doctor comes in with knitted eyebrows and listens to Scully describe the aftermath of her abduction experience with a heavy emphasis on the convoluted but substantial claims of the Mufon women. She asks if Scully has had any other symptoms, to which Scully replies that it’s hard to tell because she has an infant in the house and thus, a marked lack of sleep. 

The doctor laughs, but it’s not a haha laugh, more of an I feel your pain. She agrees that the women’s claims are concerning, but tells her patient not to fret. They’ll take all the precautions, run any test that might assuage her worries. There’s a quip about how it’ll be on the government’s dime since it covers Scully’s insurance, and then the doctor leaves to order an MRI. 

A full body MRI, which Scully has never had, and which she hoped she would never require. There’s no deeper sickness than one that cannot be pinpointed, and no greater fear than of the unknown turning into the worst case scenario. 

The MRI is completed that same day. As she slides into the machine, Scully thinks of Betsy Hagopian and wonders how she’s doing. It has been many months since she stood outside an exam room and watched Betsy enter one of these. Has fate been kind to her?

For a few minutes, her world is limited to the mere inches between her face and this life-saving yet life-ruining contraption. It is noisy and sometimes bright and altogether disorientating. She is glad when it’s over. 

The images return almost immediately, and maybe it would all have been okay if Scully weren’t trained in radiology herself, if she wasn’t able to recognize the glaring speck of light in her nasal cavity for what it is. But that one glance is all she needs to know that waiting by the phone isn’t an option. 

“It’s a tumor, isn’t it?” she blurts as the radiologist tries to escort her and Melissa from the room. “In the nasal cavity. I have a M.D. I saw.”

“Your doctor will call with the results,” the radiologist insists, standing by the open doorway.

“No, no, you can’t do this to me,” Scully sputters. “I know what I saw, and I don’t have any time to waste.” Her eye twitches in a combination of stress and anger. “I have an infant daughter.”

The radiologist sighs, pity on top of pity. “Perhaps your doctor will talk it through with you now.”

“Yes. Please.”

And it is talked through, though there’s no need to make it complicated: nasopharyngeal carcinoma. Inoperable, and just barely in the realm of treatable. That’s the kicker, the coyote in the pasture, the cloud covering the sun. In the words of Scully’s doctor, it is auspiciously rare. And in Scully’s brain, it is the bottom she’s been expecting to drop out from under since she held her daughter in her arms.

Melissa drives home. The sisters cannot fathom how they will tell their mother. Cannot fathom ruining her blissful time with the granddaughter she’s just met. When they turn onto their street, Scully swallows hard and coughs on her own spit. “Will you do something for me?” 

Missy looks over, eager to do anything she can, yet terrified by the possibility of the request.

“Will you take me to Mulder’s?” Scully mumbles. “I would just take the car but...I can’t face mom right now. I don’t want to risk it.”

Missy bites her lip. “And what am I supposed to tell mom when she asks where you are?”

“The truth,” Scully says curtly. “She doesn’t need the backstory.”

Missy drives past their building, though she’s not completely sold on her sister’s reasoning. “Don’t you think she might wonder why you aren’t coming home to your daughter?”

“I know she’ll wonder, Melissa, I know all of this,” Scully snaps because she needs to. “I don’t care.”

“Okay.” Missy’s voice is barely perceptible. I don’t care; she knows how low her sister has to be to say those words. 

They complete the drive in silence, Scully biting her nails--a habit which she has never possessed, and perhaps just acquired. The car idles as Missy pulls up to the curb of Mulder’s building. 

“I can pick you up when you need it,” she tells her sister as she pulls herself out of the car. “I’ll bring Em.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Scully says, closing the passenger door and edging toward the building. Missy hears a thanks float toward the car, then her sister is gone like a teenage girl embarrassed by her mother.

-------------------------------------

They sit on Mulder’s couch, muted. Words cannot fathom the injustice of this situation, nor can they suffice as empathy. Their hands are clasped together, a throughline of strength between them. This is what they need now; the most primitive language of all.

Scully’s watery eyes brush Mulder’s face. His own eyes, more pained than usual, look into hers. Without a word, she drapes an arm around her partner’s shoulders and scoots into his lap. He is surprised but not distressed. What else is left for them, now?

She is tiny, so tiny. And she is his. 

Their eyes meet once again, speaking in tongues. Scully nods, and then Mulder does too. This is it. This is it.

Permission granted at last, Scully’s lips travel to her partner’s jawline. The first time her lips have touched his body, and this is where they go. She is a constant box of wonders, a fortune he can never predict. Her lips are much like he has fantasized they would be: wondrously soft and silky, stroking him like they have always meant to be there. Yet he couldn’t have imagined the urgency with which they burrow into his skin. As if she’s making a mental map of his bone structure. He never expected that she would want him this much. 

His hands find her hips and grip the cotton of her shirt between his fingers. It is enough to tear her away from his flesh. Mission accomplished. His breath travels past her ear, hitting her neck. It is shallow and warm as he breathes her name. Her real name, the one her family calls her. She breathes his own back to him, like a bird responding to a mating call.

She feels his lips on her neck, wet and aching. It feels like God. This is the most blasphemous thought she has ever had. She throws her head back, exposing the whole of her skin to him. What is holiness, if not this moment?

He showers her in tattoo kisses, and she lets him, she lets him, she lets him. This is not just what she wants, but what she needs. No one will save her now, she knows this. So she has decided not to be saved. 

Her shirt ripples as he clutches it. “May I?” He is breathy, awe-struck. 

“Only if I can do the same.” Always about equality, his Scully is. He lifts his arms, lets her strip him first. He is fraught with the temptation to feel insecure, inadequate, but this is not about him--this is all for her. There is no time to dwell on this anyway. Scully takes in the sight, then puts her own arms up with a hint of impatience. He pulls her shirt over her head, and goosebumps adorn her as the air hits her bare stomach. 

It is unimaginable, the significance of this moment. All Mulder can do is keep going, lest the emotion hit him and he find himself blubbering all over her. His hands travel her body...it is slender and white, but so solid, so strong. Cartilage forming ligaments forming joints connecting bones. And her skin, stretching over her hips and framing it all. The masterpiece that is Dana Katherine Scully. 

He fears for the day she will cave in on herself. Already, one of his hands covers her whole rib cage. Right now he can cradle her body comfortably against his own, but the day will come when a single cautious touch will crush her, and his heart along with it. He wants her as she is now forever.

Seeing that he wants to pamper her, Scully lets herself be pampered. He showers the taut length of her collar bone in kisses. The vibration resonates throughout her bone structure, and already she can feel him in places she’s only fantasized about having him. He is going to heal me, she thinks. If anyone could heal her in any way, it would be him doing this. 

She shows her gratitude by kneading circles into his soft tissues, so tense from all their days chasing ghosts. The sinew relaxes beneath the pads of her fingers, and she feels like she has solved the most important X-File of all. 

Mulder traces his way along her spine. He has never touched her here, nor ever even fantasized about it, and there is an erotic tension--like a needle about to drop on a record--that neither one of them could have seen coming. Inevitably, his hands converge at the hooks of her bra. She arches her back in approval. He slides the hooks away from each other, and both of them feel the release. She shimmies off the garment before he can pull it out of the way. No secrets, not anymore.

Mulder didn’t expect to cry and is aware that most women wouldn’t take that as a positive sign, but seeing her, like this, knowing what they both know, tears feel like the least he could offer up. She is...beautiful is too weak a word to describe it. He needs to invent a new word to capture the essence of his emotions, the reverence with which he views her. He is not a religious man, but he will worship her until the end of time. 

He has known this, intuitively, for a while, and now he’s putting it into practice. He wants to do everything he can for her, give her everything she wants. Yet he doesn’t know how to, and this scares him. She has always slipped through his fingers, always turned on a dime just when he thought he figured her out. Tonight is no exception. How was he to know that he’d be on his couch with a half-naked Scully in his lap?

He fears the tears will offend her, so he nuzzles into her heartspace, his nose pressed against the heart that is--by the grace of that God she worships--still beating. His lips meet the plush of her left breast. 

Where does he go from here? The dusty routine he’s used with other women--the few who have given themselves to him or let him hand himself over--is not worthy enough for Scully. He could never touch Scully in the ways he’s touched the women before because she is not like the women before. There is no mere giving or taking here, no detached exchange of commodities or pleasure for the sake of pleasure. This is survival. They are symbiotically keeping each other alive.

A drop of water hits Scully’s skin, slides down the curvature of her breast. She shudders. A tear. That’s what it is, she realizes. Mulder is crying. It’s a baptism of unfortunate proportions. 

She cups her hand against his chin, tilts it up so his bleary eyes meet hers. She rests her forehead against his. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” She kisses each eye closed, his lids fluttering beneath her lips. “It’s okay.” 

His breathing steadies. He is quite certain that it is not okay, that it never will be, but he listens to her, lets himself pretend. 

Hands still on his chin, she careens their lips together. His mouth on hers; a godsend. They caress each other for a moment, then Scully opens wide, and Mulder does too. They are reflecting. 

If Scully could compress herself, pushing every particle of air out of her lungs and into his, she would. As a sort of thank you, for everything. For what he has done, what is doing, what he will do...She will never have to live without him. She knows this now, and it makes this easier. But he will have to live without her, and so she must make sure he gets the memories he needs to carry on. This is how grief works, she’s acquainted with it. These moments, these feelings, these bated breaths and tender touches, will be his survival mechanism for awhile. Until the day when he can throw them off and go on without her ghost. It will happen one day, and she will be glad that he made it. 

She feels him pressing against her stomach, which is certainly not where she wants him. “Fox…” Her hands hover above his belt. She unzips his fly first, her hand warm against him. He is dizzy with want as her fingers curl against his belt buckle, loosening it with confidence. In a sweeping gesture,  she pushes his jeans off his hips, exposing him. The thrill she feels, seeing him big and bare in front of her, is a new kind of livelihood. She’s overcome with the desire to take him in her mouth--and that has never, never been her first instinct. She ducks down, but he stops her.

“Dana, no. You.”

She doesn’t need to hear it twice. She sucks in a breath, arches her back, and slides onto him. Slowly, gasping as they go. 

“Am I hurting you?”

Scully shakes her head, lips parted. It has been nothing like this before...nothing so fulfilling. She crosses her ankles, binding them completely together at last. 

Unity triumphs against the self, their union abolishing the world’s insistence on the solitude of the individual. This is what it’s about, isn’t it? Being joined, not only in spirit, but in body? Knowing that whatever horrors are to come, he will feel them as she does. Her dwindling will be his too, her losses an equally empty space within him. 

She is teetering on the edge of something she can never come back from. She is not afraid. 

She careens her fingernails into his back as the pressure builds. If it doesn’t come to a head, she’ll die right here, she thinks. 

She barely registers the cathartic noises coming out of her, though they give Mulder great delight. He thought she would be quiet, and the fact that she’s not trying to hold anything in--after holding everything in for so goddamn long--is the most moving part of the experience. 

And they want this to go on forever, but they want the release. Mulder swivels his hips into her, bringing them both closer to climax. Scully curls against him. 

“I’m sorry,” she cries into his ear.

“What?” He nearly pulls out of her, fearing that she’s hurt. 

“No, no--” She scrambles to stay with him. “This--” she pants “--is so good.” She lowers her lips onto his as confirmation, then speaks into his open mouth. “I’m just sorry to be the one to go.”

He frames her ribcage, thumbs arching toward her belly button. “Fuck, honey...don’t say that, don’t even think that…”

They won’t linger on the choice of pet name, the tenderness with which it settles over her, nor the absolute devastation of her words. There is simply no time. 

Scully hides her face in his neck as the wave breaks over both of them. There is no world anymore, only the two of them on this couch. They have forsaken the physical realm, ascending to heaven in time with their heartbeats. 

Mulder understands then what his reciprocal means when she says she needs proof to believe. Now that he’s been there and felt it, he knows that heaven exists, and holy shit, what does that mean for the life he has lived and the time he has left? What did it mean for Samantha?...What will it mean for Scully?

They collapse into each other, a melted mass of skin and bone. Two becoming one, becoming two again. Mulder strokes the back of his partner’s head, presses his lips to her temple. Her chest rises against him in jagged breaths.

“You are the only proof I’ll ever need that this life is worth it,” he murmurs. “Just you.”

Scully looks up at him, tears running down her cheeks. He kisses them away and wraps his arms around her. “I don’t know if you got the memo, but I love you, Dana Scully.”

She rests her cheek against his. “I love you too, F--Mulder.”

Mulder chuckles, his amusement shaking both of them. Scully closes her eyes and snuggles into him. He puts his hand over her heart, feels it beating steadily into his palm, and longs for it to stay like that forever.

[okayeojin]

loona reaction to you showing up at their house crying or injured

➢ ☁️; angst

TW: mention of bľoød, abűsê, viôlęnçė, ... i highly suggest you scroll past this if you're uncomfortable or sensitive to these topics

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。• ..・。.・゜✭・. ° • .

heejin

you and heejin had hung out the whole day, spending time together and having fun. you had a picnic! and it was so cute. was it a date?heejin blushed whenever she thought about it because... oh my god, she didn't know whether you considered that a date. her mind was so full of thoughts that she only managed to fall asleep at 2am. just an hour before she heard some insisting knocking on her front door. as scared as she was, looking into the peep hole in the darkness, she wasn't expecting to see you on the other side of the door. "y/n?" she mumbled, her voice trembling. she slowly opened the door when you hummed in response, almost falling on your knees as heejin completely opened the door to let you inside. she almost yelled when she asked if you were okay, catching you in her arms to prevent you from hitting the floor. the more you stayed silent, without giving her a proper response, the more she grew worried, carrying your body all the way to the couch, finally turning on the lights, almost screaming in shock. now visible, on your face, were countless scratches, not to mention the huge black eye, and many splotches of blood, some of it dry. your clothes were also a mess, a mix of dirt and blood. "also, my arm might be broken" you commented, smiling but hissing in pain right after. she immediately ran to get the first aid kid, taking care of you as well as possibile, ignoring the tears strimming down her face and the sound of her sniffling. you tried to look at her face but she refused, making you promise to tell everything that had happened to you.

hyunjin

it was very late her night, hyunjin knew that she had to go to sleep as soon as possibile -and she truly wanted to- but the unfinished assignment on her laptop told her otherwise. also, the fact that she still had the chat with you opened and that you still hadn't replied to her message, that she had sent two hours before, was making her anxious. she tried to brush away any kind of negative thought. maybe you had simply fallen asleep, it wasn't unusual of you, and it was also way past midnight. she sighed loudly, adjusting her posture on the couch, streching her neck from side to side until the vision of a dark shadow, seen through the glass of her front door, make her heart skip a beat- or many. she covered her mouth with both hands, cursing under her breath when you announced yourself, calling her name. she stomped on her way to the door, unlocking and opening it angrily. "what has gotten into you?! first ignoring my messages and then appearing at 2am like a ghost- wait are you crying?". she instantly regretted her words as soon as she noticed your desperate face: your cheeks red and full of tears, your eyes puffy, and not to mention your whole body trembling. she let you inside in less than a second, closing the door behind you and welcoming you on her couch, offering you something warm to drink, before you interrupted her, sobbing, and whispering "my dad..." partially taking off your shirt to show her all the bruises on your skin.

haseul

she was patiently waiting for you on the couch, occasionally looking over at the clock to check the time and trying to stop her legs from trembling so much. she wasn't worried for you. at all. you were just almost an hour late. but she wasn't worried. you would came and finally have the nice dinner that you had promised her weeks before. you simply had to ask your parents for permissions. who she knew you didn't have a really good relationship with. she had just picked up the phone to text you, just in case, when the doorbell finally rang making her flinch and put a hand on her heart. she sighed and happily ran to the door to welcome you. that, if she didn't find you literally in tears, with two huge bags on both your shoulders, looking at her disperately. haseul had so many questions, she had her mouth parted but no words coming out and her eyes were looking at you up and down, her hand still on the door handle to hold it open. "c can i stay here?" you asked, your voice trembling and tears falling down, making haseul realize that you were, in fact, standing in silence like two idiots. she asked you what happened, unsure if you would actually tell her or preferred to keep it for yourself, at least in that moment. "my parents kicked me out..." you replied with a bitter smile on your face, unable to look at her but rather facing down, until your girlfriend put a warm hand on your cheek, wiping away your tears but also raising your head to made your eyes meet. she smiled at you and you two ended up hugging, comforted by simply being in each other's arms.

yeojin

you were actually meant to meet up at your house to play a new video game you were just gifted for your birthday and she was very excited about it! she deadass couldn't wait to both spend some quality time with you and to also try this new game, of course. she had gotten ready a lot of time prior to the actual time you had agreed to meet, and she was heading to your place way earlier than what you had decided. that, if you didn't text her last minute to ask if you could change the meeting spot to her house instead. she didn't question it, she just agreed and went back inside her own house. luckly her parents weren't home, otherwise they would probably complain about all the yelling and noise you two would be making. at that point, she had been waiting for you for half an hour already, and your house wasn't even that far from hers, reason why she was getting quite worried. she had been waiting on her couch while frequently looking over at the front door. maybe you were trying to prank her or something. she was just about to call you on the phone when someone finally knocked on the door. she got up sighing heavily, finally relieved you were there and safe. "y/n finally! i thought you had ditched me! i know im better than you at video games and you don't wanna lose every time we-" she stopped mid sentence as soon as she opened the door. "...play..." she looked at you up at down, concerned "y/n what happened?!". you were crying. a lot. one of your cheeks was bright red and you were shaking right there in front of her. you looked like an abandoned puppy and she was about to cry too. she let you inside without a second thought. "did someone hit you?!" she asked frantically, trying to get some ice for that bruised cheek. "m my mom hit me" you mumbled under your breath, tears streaming down your face all over again. "i came out to her as gay and she... i guess she didn't like that" you smiled bitterly while explaining to her what happened, making her stop on her way to get ice, to look at you and hug you so tightly you felt breathless, but so much better already. at that point she was crying too, comforting you that she would be your friend not matter what and that she would accept you just the way you are.

vivi

you two had just finished hanging out not too long before. you had met at vivi's place to have some nice dinner, just the two of you, and you had left almost an hour before. vivi was washing the dishes, even though you had offered to help, she insisted you went home and got some sleep instead, and so you did. drying off her hands, satisfied she managed to clean the kitchen not too late at night, she began day dreaming about the long long night of sleep she was about to get. she was really tired, indeed. however, it took probably two minutes after that thought for the doorbell to ring. she was quite annoyed to say the least, but in all honesty, she actually thought it could be you. who else would show up at 11 pm at her house? maybe you forgot something? you should be more careful with your stuff, little one. that's what she always told you. she looked into the peep hole and it was definetely you, but you were looking behind, looking worried. she frowned in confusion, opening the door. "hey are you oka-" she couldn't even finish the sentence that you literally bursted inside her house and closed the door. she was about to ask so many questions, but as soon as she saw you face covered in blood and you holding your arm painfully, she knew that clearly something was wrong and asked for explanations. "y/n what the- did you get into some weird stuff?! what happened to you? i- did they break your arm?! " . she was so confused and concerned, and lowkey mad, because you weren't even crying, or confused, you looked like you knew this was something that could have happened any time. and it made her so worried and confused, asking you question. you promised to tell her everything.

kim lip

she wasn't at home. she had to run some errands and clumsly forgot her phone, and being too late to go back and get it once she had gone out, she decided to leave it be. she wouldn't be out for more than an hour anyway. also she didn't think something would actually happen while she was away. she had previously told you she had to go out that day and that you could only hang out in the late afternoon, so you suspected you probably wouldn't find her home if you had to go there. heavily breathing with four shopping bags in her hands, kim lip was heading home. it actually took a bit more than an hour, contrary to what she had planned, and the fact that she couldn't warn you that she would be late was bugging her, forcing herself to walk a bit faster so she could text you. however, she wasn't expecting to find you already there. in front of her house. she approached you, slowing down her steps. what were you doing sitting on the ground with your back pressed against the front door? wait. were you crying?! she sped up once again, dropping her bags on the ground to kneel in front of you and take your face in her warm hands. that's when she noticed you black eye. gasping in surprise, she asked you what happened, letting you inside the house after she saw you struggling to talk because of all the sobs and tears you were letting out.

jinsoul

jinsoul was literally an angel. your angel, in that case. she knew about your situation, how hard things were for you at home. and especially, how abusive your mother was. she would point out every single thing that she thought was wrong about you; the way you dressed, if you cut or dyed your hair, the way you wouldn't say hi to her sometimes. and she would get mad at everything, usually threathening to kick you out of the house if you didn't change your behaviour. jinsoul knew it all. she was your safe space. literally. she was always willing to let you crash at her space whenever you needed to. she would make you feel more at home than your actual home. it didn't matter if you texted her beforehand or if you showed up without warning at her door, she would always open it for you. and you were so thankful. that day was nothing jinsoul hadn't experienced before. she heard your signature knocking and knew it was you before she even got to the door. opening it with a big smile, her eyes instantly fell to the huge bags you had in your hands, raising her gaze once again to see you crying with a smile on your face, as if to say "yes, it happened again! im here now", and she couldn't help but cover her mouth in surprise when she noticed the big red spot on your cheek. you explained to her how, after the nth time of your mother telling you to get out of your house, you actually did. jinsoul reassured you that you could stay at her house for how long you needed before you found an apartment all for yourself.

choerry

choerry wasn't really doing much that particular day, actually. she would simply walk around the house, desperately looking for something to do, but not succeeding. she even tried watching some makeup and hair tutorials on youtube to try them on herself. however, the fun didn't last much once she realized she has way more fun doing these things with you. “i’m so bored!” she exclaimed while throwing herself on the bed, sad about the fact that she has already asked you to hang out but you were actually spending time with your partner that day, and you sadly refused but promised to see each other the next day! she didn't realize she had fallen asleep on the bed in the same position she had thrown herself on it just some moments before, when the doorbell brought her back to reality, waking her from her slumber. she rubbed her eyes while yawning loudly and turned on her phone to check the time. luckily it was still daytime, she hadn't slept for too long. whoever was on the other side of the door kept ringing the door bell quite insistently, making her groan and yell "coming!". she opened to door and found you, her usually giggly and bubbly friend, trembling like a leaf, looking way smaller than your actual self, tears running down your flushed cheeks and pure terror in your eyes. after letting you in, she hugged you so tightly and her eyes widened when you whispered in her hear "it was them... they hit me..." referring clearly to your partner, making choerry clenching her fists around your shirt in anger.

yves

it was an incredibly sunny day, it was the perfect afternoon to go out on a walk just you with your pretty girlfriend, wandering around while holding hands. both of you really treasured moments like that. being both two busy and working adults, it was extremely refreshing to step out of the house, far away from work, even for a little bit. you also liked spending time with yves without a plan. you didn't feel like you had to do something in particular to have fun with her, just being in her company was more than enough for you. you reached a small park, pretty empty at that hour, being way too hot for children to play, and you spot a bench covered by the shadow of a big tree. figuring it would be less hot under there, you headed towards that direction, abruptely stopping when you heard the desperate cries of what seemed to be a puppy. alarmed, you looked aroung and finally noticed some young adults laughing and taking turns beating a helpless, scared and definetely injured dog. you of course ran in that direction, taking the puppy in your arms and yelling at the guys to stop. cursing at you, they all left, and you took the puppy at home with you. needless to say, yves was rather worried when you decided to go out again in the same park, later in the evening, to check if those guys were still there to report them to the police for animal abuse. and when you came back, your face quite beaten up, blood splattered on your face and also your clothes, she was in absolute shock, shaking while taking care of your wounds. "don't be worried about me babe, you should have seen them" you tried to cheer her up, only earning a punch in the arm from her, who was now sniffing silently. "shut up and never to that again!" she looked down and then up at you again "but you are so brave and kind hearted, i love you so much..."

chuu

you and chuu were commonly known by almost all the people in your small town as the sunshine couple. everyone would say you two were literally meant to be together, you fit so well with each other it was almost insane, you completed each other in a way, but mostly you two were both so bubbly and adorable that your existance only could make people smile. everyone at school knew you two were together. or almost everyone. chuu would receive quite an overwhelming amout of confessions, both from guys and gays girls. she would always feel mortified to reject them, but she only had eyes for you, who were the only person that could make her feel that way, always loved and special. that until you met a quite persistent dude, who literally proposed to chuu in front of you, cussing at her and insulting you when she rejected him. and he wasn't even willing to leave; he was getting so loud and scary that other people had to step in to drag him out of there. on your way back home after school, you were both quite worried, but you were the one raging the most. "promise me you won't do anything stupid" she begged you with teary eyes, scared that you would get in trouble with that scary guy. you dropped her off at her house and left with a kiss and some reassuring words, your heart warming after seeing her cute smile. however... it wasn't really long after that you knocked on her door, only to see her face become pale at the fact that you were even struggling to stand up, your nose bloody and bruises all over you. she almost screamed in terror, asking you what happened and helping you inside the house so she could take care of your wounds. at that point she was basically in tears, trying to wipe away the blood on your pretty face. you smiled- even if it hurt to even do that- and caressed her cheeks, telling her not to worry. "i would literally punch you for saying this nonsense but you are already beaten up enough. of course i worry, you dummy!"

gowon

you were supposed to meet up with gowon after your night shift at a convenience store. a part time job that she, personally, wasn't very happy you choose to do, considering how dangerous it could be for you. you were someone who could stand for themselves, you didn't really need anyone to protect you or, at least, that's what you would tell gowon to not make her worry too much. your job was indeed not the easiest one for you too, but it allowed you to sustain and survive. you needed that small income. but was it really worth your safety? you had just closed, after a few rude or drunk customers, and were relieved to finally go back home. night shifts were... scary, indeed, but not many people would show up really, expect for, yes, drunk dudes and sometimes sketchy people trying to shoplift and what not. gowon had been patiently waiting for you on her couch, happily preparing some snacks to spend some quality time with you! she had set up everything very neatly- food, cozy blankets and what not- and was waiting patiently for you on the couch, excitedly moving her feet, looking at the door expecting you to come in. when you rang the doorbell and she sprung up to open it, her smile dropped and disappeared when you showed up with a black eye and some blood on your face and clothes. she was about to scream when you told her not to worry and simply let you inside. she was sobbing while you were trying to wash your dirty clothes. "please... leave that job...". you stopped to look at her. you couldn't see her so broken and sad. "i will".

olivia hye

you had to meet up with your best friend, after endless discussions about the fact that you hadn't seen each other for the past week and neither of you were happy about it. you decided to bring back the good ol' movie night, that you had to cancel because of a heated discussion about whether the protagonist was an idiot or not for getting himself almost killed. the night ended with hyejoo blaming you for the poor choice of movie and the neighbours complaining for the noise. but since you had nothing else to do, she had invited you to go to her house to sit in front of the tv, basically. she was however worried about the fact that you had told her you were going quickly to your ex's house to pick up some things you had left there, and then you would be heading straight to her. hyejoo didn't like your ex. at all. she always knew something was fishy about them; theory being comfirmed when they started yelling and being harsh with you for no reason. you had decided to leave them for good, but your best friend was afraid it wouldn't end so quickly. she ran to the door after she heard your signature knocking- so she knew it was you- and she gasped in surprise when she saw you holding your bruised arm and your flushed cheeks, where some scratches could be seen, slightly bleeding. "that motherfuck-" she began, furiously heading out of her house, before you stopped her and briefly whispered to her "please stay with me, don't go..." and seeing your painful expression and your teary eyes was enough to make her stay. "but i swear they are gonna pay for what they did to you".

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。• ..・。.・゜✭・. ° • .

masterlist:°•☆

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Cowboy.”

Wanted to try something new.  Aliens meet different ways of living. Was trying to really capture the small town farming feel in this one. Granted I grew up in and near places like this but was from the burbs technically, so, lol, hopefully I did it justice. 

The sky over Jakar was a light violet purple.

Strings of long striated clouds cut across the sky at intervals looking like the ripples you see on the face of a sand dune. The Sun hadn’t yet risen hiding just below the distant horizon. The air around them was warm, but not tropical, rather moderate.

Standing on the loading ramp to the Harbinger and staring out over the strange moon, they could see for miles and miles onto the unbroken horizon. Under the purple sky, there were no trees or rocks, just acres and acres of evenly spaced crops gently rolling over minute hills and shallow divots in the earth. A gently wind blew up from their front rolling over the ground and bringing with it the cool moist scent of fertile dirt.

The sun inched upwards over the horizon, casting a honeyed yellow glow over an unbroken sea of green. With the engines of the ship off, and not a soul in sight, the scene before them was absolutely silent, almost surreal.

As they watched, a ripple of wind blew up from their right churning the green sea before them into a stormy sea. The plant stalks rolled in waves under the slow push of the wind, which, when it reached them, brought the subtle whisper of leaves brushing over each other.

All together, if they closed their eyes, they could almost imagine the sound of a distant sea.

Both Krill and sunny were riveted to that quiet morning in fascination. 

They had never known a thing to be so beautiful, so quiet.

And even though the land was touched by man, the quiet serenity almost had them forgetting that fact.

They stood like that for many minutes, enjoying the silence until a distant sound rose up from the horizon.

Krill craned his neck and Sunny shaded her eyes.

It can in beats of four, a rhythmic thudding of…. something .

They were alerted by the dust cloud, brown tinged purple rising up from the right.

Looking a little longer,they watched as a very strange creature galloped towards them. The animal had four legs, a long snout, a thick neck, and streams of long hair flying from it’s head and rump. THe joints of its front legs faced the wrong direction.

Krill shifted back up the ramp a little ways.

The beats of the animal’s feet grew louder as it got closer, and only then was Krill able to see that, to his shock and dismay, there was a human riding astride it’s back, just casually sitting atop the one ton beast as if it was nothing bouncing up and down with the animal’s jostling movements.

He stared dumbstruck alongside Sunny as the human pulled to a stop gently tugging at the contraption which had been fixed around the animal’s head.

A familiar tawny, and black dog came chasing after her tail wagging, her ears perked.

Waffles skidded to a slow trot and began frantically sniffing through the nearby plot of plants.

Sunny and Krill stepped forward as the human, turned to look at them, restings his hands against his upper thighs as the beast lowered it’s head to sniff at the ground.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Sunny asked the commander.

“A better question is what the hell are you riding.” Krill could already tell this day was going to make him angry, “Aren't you well aware that falling off that thing could kill you, not to mention if it decided to cave your head in with its feet.”

Commander Vir pulled the patterned cloth triangle down from around his face, eyes mostly shadowed by the brim of the very dorky hat he was wearing. The shirt he had on was long sleeve and mid range blue in color with a collar, and matching jeans with a very strange set of heeled boots.

“Forgot you've never seen a horse before.”

He kicked one of his feet up over the top the back of the creature and let himself gently down onto the dirt.

The large animal turned it’s massive head, nudging him in the chest with it’s soft pink snout.

He smiled and rubbed it’s nose.

“A horse?”

“Yes, one of man’s greatest achievements.”

The horse threw its head up and down as if in agreement.

“A knobby kneed dog creature?”

“No a knobby kneed beast of burden, from the back of which humanity conquered the world. He patted it’s neck, “These guys are the reason humanity got as far as it did, at least one fo the reasons.

Krill stared at the ‘horse’ nervously staring into its wide dark eyes, sensing a hint of cunning intelligence that he did not particularly appreciate. Sunny stepped forward a bit, and the horse lifted it’s head, wide nostrils flaring menacingly. 

It stepped back, and the commander held firm, “Woah, easy girl. It’s just sunny.”

The horse didn’t seem convinced, and Sunny stayed at a polite distance.

“Commander, I must insist, that beast could kick your head in if agitated.”

“Oh I know. Believe you me I know.”

The horse tossed it’s head.

“Can we get back to the important question of….. What the hell are you wearing?”

He looked down, “This, my fine friend is the historic gear of the Cowboy, and early symbol of the west, your rough and tumble man’s man who lived rough, worked hard, and is, arguably the symbol of human manifest destiny.”

“I have no idea what you just said.”

The commander sighed, “Look they were total badasses who rode horses, shot guns, and drank too much.”

“Badasses who wore heels?” Sunny wondered 

“Yes, yes they were.”

“And where did you get that outfit exactly?”

He tugged at the shirt rather proudly, “My mother made it for me, you know because that is what she does for a living.”

“Do you often commission really dumb clothing from your mother.” Sunny continued to tease.

“I have an outfit for every major time period from here to to the early Byzantine empire.” He bragged, not that it meant anything.

Her continued teasing was cut off as more noises rose up from the distance, the sound of hooves and the shrill chatter of, what Sunny could only assume was the horses. A larger dust cloud was riding up this time, and as she watched, another group of human came riding down the track. At least three of them riding horseback and wearing outfits much the same as the commander now wore. Though one of them was riding on the front of a strange wooden vehicle pulled by the creatures.

And krill had thought current human technology was primitive.

The two men, and one woman came to a halt just to their side, and looking them over, Krill couldn't help but notice the strange nature of these humans, tanned dark by the sun, their skin tough and calloused, especially about the hands. Though it was early morning they were already covered in dust. One of them touched the brim of his hat upon seeing them and dismounted from his horse walking over to shake the commander’s hand.

“I’m gonna assume your Commander Vir.” He looked around, “Seeing as you’re the only human here.”

“Yes sir.”

His voice was deep, and rather slow with a sort of relaxing quality to it, though there was an edge of steel behind his voice, “Didn’t think you fancy space captains knew how to ride horses.”

“My father worked on one of the farming conglomerates when I was a boy. He made sure we knew how to ride.”

“Smart man.” The old human turned his steely brown eyes on them looking sunny and Krill up and down though he didn’t seem all that surprised. He held out a hand to sunny, “Looks like you’ve got plenty of hands to shake.”

She chirped a laugh and took his hand surprised at how strong  he was, how rough his hands were.

Krill received a nod which was more than alright by him. He turned back and motioned to his companions, “Meet, Jack my son, and Liz y daughter. They volunteered to help out with our little problem.”

“Smugglers you were saying.” 

“Yes. We think they are some of those Tesraki types using our fields as stop points. Wouldn’t mind it so much if they didn’t keep destroying the product. They tend to land where we plant the pink orbs-” He looked at sunny, “Think they are from your planet. A bitch to get to grow here, we have to cut the soil with imported volcanic ash to get them to grow, and every time those bastards show up we lose a yield.” 

His daughter motioned at Sunny and Krill to climb up onto the strange wooden death machine with wheels. At first Krill refused, but sunny grabbed him and hauled him upwards, sitting on one of the  wooden benches. 

Krill reused to sit.

He could see splinters.

“They aren’t supposed to be in for another few days though.” The two men had mounted their horses and were riding side by side now as the ‘what krill learned to be a cart’ started up, rolling over the uneven ground and threatening to rattle his brains out of his head.

“Doesn’t this thing have shocks.” he moaned 

The humans laughed, and the head human turned back to look at him, “Don’t need socks on a wagon…..” He paused, “This one ain’t mch for country livin’”

The commander snorted, “He isn’t much for anything new. Guess you could say he’s a big city surgeon. I don’t think his  species has been without automated assistance for the past ten thousand years. But Sunny there probably gets it, her clan was mainly gatherer types.”

“Yeah, I heard about the Drev. Don’t live so differently from us all told.” beside them lines and lines of crops grew up in the distance, a never ending line broken up by nothing more than a distant building rising many stories above the fields. Massive silver constructions in cylinders with pointy tops.

“What are those?” Sunny asked, pointing.

The daughter looked “Those are silos. Once we harvest the produce, all the food goes in there for storage until we sell it.”

“So much food.” Sunny muttered 

Krill didn’t like the look of them, they appeared dangerous. Up ahead of them, the dog, waffles seemed to be enjoying herself romping about over the dirt road and through the first few lines of plants her tongue lolling her ears up.

“Your Shepherd seems happy.” The man commented, “Better then being cooped up in a flying tin can.”

“Yeah , she doesn’t get to go outside much these days.”

Looking up into the distance, Krill could just make out a slow break on the horizon. They were trees as far as he could tell, which surprised him since they seemed far to big to be here, as unnatural a species as they were.

“Are those oak trees?” The Captain asked, incredulous.

“That they are, got them imported in one of those massive fraighters. Putting them in the ground was complete bullshit, but they took surprisingly well. We wanted the two to be a bit more cozy. 

The closer they got to town the more people they could see. Children ran in and out of the crop lines chasing each other and laughing. 

Women carried baskets with them plucking bright red berries from tall growths of plants turning to wave at them as they passed.

Horses loitered, tied up on the sides of the road next to large, elegant houses in a style Krill had never seen before.

“Wow.” The commander muttered, “This is…. Wow.”

The man smiled, “Much as I love earth, you can’t live like this any more. No more small towns. When I heard how cheep they were selling land up here for, I couldn’t resist. Worked for one of those corporations like your father, and that’s when I heard about the deal going on. Come up here, farm the land and get the property for free.” He motioned to the houses and the barns, “Built most of it with our own two hands. Machinery is a bitch to get out here, so most everything we make by ourselves.”

Krill and sunny stared on in complete fascination. The wooden buildings held together by nothing more than sharp metal spikes, still multiple stories tall and with glass windows. What little technology there was was overshadowed by just how provincial everything was. People carrying buckets of water with their own two hands, polishing boots, and sawing off planks of wood with manual blades.

And despite that, how much more difficult everything probably was, they seemed happy. The people themselves were rough, but well put together, tanned skin, and bright eyes over calloused hands and straight backed postures full of confidence and pride. As they rode past they received nothing but friendly smiles and waved greetings.

Adam was practically a pampered, prim little pretty boy in comparison to the rest, and he was a one eyed, peg legged, space captain for intents and purposes.

A pleasantly plump dark skinned woman waved at them from her porch, where she sat in a very strange looking chair, which instead of legs, had skids? And rocked when she shifted her weight. Which seemed to be the intention.

Sunny and Krill raised their hands back, not sure of what else to do.

The man at the front sighed, “Man you can’t live like this anymore, not on earth anyway.”

Commander vir was looking around with an appreciative smile, “it’s like going back in time. Dam…. it’s nice here.”

“Almost makes you want to get your feet back on solid dirt?” The man wondered 

The commander laughed, “I don’t think so. Your town is great, but there is nothing like the majesty of waking up and seeing the rings of saturn outside our bedroom window, or a nebulae thousands of light years wide, or stepping out of the ship and just…. Floating weightless like nothing can hold you down ever again.”

The man shuttered, “Can’t imagine.”

“Can’t imagine but can’t forget.”

Adam’s horse tossed it’s head and he patted it on the neck.

The other human shook his head, “Cut from a different mold I guess. I’d like nothing more than an honest day’s work under the sun getting my hands dirty. None of that outer space politics.”

Adam laughed, “I suppose I forget about politics most of the time. Honestly consider myself more of an adventurer discovering new planets and new species bravely going where no man has gone before sort of thing.”

The two of them laughed together.

Krill wondered at the strangeness of humanity. Here were two men, one of them a ship captain venturing into the unknown on one of the most advanced pieces of human technology ever created  flying shuttles, talking with aliens and traversing the galaxy, while there was another human a lover of dirt beneath his hands, with no desire to leave his home, or likely even go outside it’s farm’s radius, content with living the same day for the rest of his life, with the same people, building everything with his hands, living without what seemed to be the most basic of human technologies.

And here they were sitting together speaking and laughing.

Getting along despite being so different.

Because humans can just do that.

Humans understand. 

[edengarden]

Hiii!!! I'm here for that regular bnha matchup👉🏿👈🏿 I really love the hq one u did omg!! It's *chef's kiss* kekdjdjdkdhd!!!! Here's the info:

Appearance: I'm fem, black, 5'1, slightly athletic & curvy-ish figure (lol), short? (mid-neck) hair, straight, dark brown eyes, size 9 shoe size (I still dk if it's relevant but oh well lmao)

Personality stuff: infp-t, Hufflepuff, Taurus sun, scorpio moon, sanguine, chaotic good, ambivert, a BuzzFeed quiz told me I'm a Pinto bean and a pumpkin spice mocha (do what you will with that info jdskdj)

Positive traits/qualities:

I'm super enthusiastic!! I love hyping people up and being energetic in general! I'm always down to try new things and have fun! If anyone is not feeling appreciated I'm ready to make sure they know that they're a queen/king and they're amazing!!!

I'm optimistic! I like to look at the brighter side of things and I always try my best to find a silver lining in any situation! Positive thinking helps me get through tough spots in my life because there's always hope for something better in the future!!

I'm observant!! I usually like to sit quietly and observe my surroundings. Especially in a new environment. Irl I like to read people's body language to asses their mood so ik how to approach them lol. I also do little things like remembering what they (friends/family) like to order at restaurants or something they pointed out at random that they liked. (Idk if I'm making sense lol)

Negative traits/flaws:

I'm annoying. Sometimes I just like being a little shit and cause mischief (being the youngest child does that to a person) but I think sometimes I'm too enthusiastic/energetic that it can be seen as obnoxious/annoying so I usually try and tone it down so I don't bother people...

I'm argumentative. When I have something to say I have to speak up. I try not to step on any toes but I can't help but argue with someone when our views on something clash. I like hearing different sides of debates though so I always give others a chance to talk. I don't go picking fights but if I feel like my opinion is being disregarded/not heard I will argue until it's known!!

I'm forgetful. Sure I'll remember random stuff like 'what my friend said in that one coffee shop last year' but important things like appointments? Birthdays? Assignment due dates? Idk her 😭 I try my best to write anything important down cause my memory is a selective sieve and it'll keep the most useless/random shit.

Hobbies: I love: Reading, writing, listening to music, learning languages, playing saxophone (I'm still learning tho lol), swimming, watching anime and cooking!

Music taste: any type of rock (punk rock, grunge, j-rock, metal), pop, kpop, RnB, jazz, dubstep, lofi hip hop, rap, bangers from: Elvis, the beach boys, Khalid, Ateez, Kendrick Lamar, p!atd, mcr, fallout boy, Nirvana, BTS, mxmtoon, Marianas trench, twenty one pilots, stray kids, Jay Park, crush, Dreamcatcher, Skrillex, MJ, troye sivan etc

Traits I look for: idk kind, funny/fun, loving/lovable, loyal (idk I ain't picky)

Traits I don't like: (nobody's perfect, just don't be a racist, xenophobic, sexist asshole lol)

More fun facts:

My love language is touch! I live for hand holding, cuddling, hugging, tickle fights and more!! 🥺

I love learning new stuff and rn I'm learning how to draw, paint, play music on sax, a new language and new recipes! :3

I love traveling!! It doesn't even have to be too far, as long as I don't know where I am it's an adventure! I usually end up getting lost whenever I travel (rip) but it's fun finding your way around and makes the trip more exciting!!

My current aesthetic: Sunflowers, striped turtle necks, warm blankets, rainbows that come out after storms, friendship bracelets, watching movies cuddled up w/someone, the joy of being alive. <3

It's mostly the same lol I just added a little something at the end :D Can't wait to see who I'll get! Don't forget to stay healthy & drink lots of water!! Take care 💙✨

I’m matching you up with Tokage! (You didn’t specify your gender preferences I hope this is alright ;-;)

You guys. I can’t even decide where to begin. The ENERGY- oh my god, you’re so enthusiastic, she’s so enthusiastic?? And you also recharge each other’s batteries so it’s a never ending stream of optimism and cheers!! People can’t believe the two of you are together but then again they watch you two go and they wonder how you two COULDN’T be a couple.

And her?? Thinking YOURE annoying? Fucking never. She’s the same as you to an extent and we KNOW she wouldn’t doubt your affection for her, but for the love of god if it does bother you, talk to her. She’ll have you thinking differently in NO TIME. this girl uses her words and she uses them well. And the two of you ARGUE. but it’s mostly fun arguing, Tokage isn’t the type to be so cocky as to not admit when she’s wrong; she’ll fight for her point if she knows it’s valid. Otherwise, if YOUR point becomes the only valid one, she’s giving it to you. She wouldn’t want to lose you over some stupid pride thing.

Oh my god, she’s 100% the type of person who’ll go “hey remember like two years ago when...” and theN MENTION SOMETHING STUPID OR EMBARRASSING YOU DID THAT YOU COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT

Tokage loves physical affection, both giving and receiving. She’s just so proud to call you hers?? Let her hold your hand and watch her always call dibs on you during training (Vlad never lets the class choose their partners anymore because of you two lol). She’ll tone down the PDA if you’re uncomfortable or if others warn her that they don’t like it, but otherwise?? She’s always by your side unless you need some space.

My god the two of you just have SUCH a fun relationship!! It’s never dull or boring, trust me.

Songs!!!

- my boy, Billie Eilish

- Feel It Still, Portugal. The Man

- butterfly addiction, Cö shu Nie

- Let’s Spend the Night Together, David Bowie

[sinceileftyoublog]

New Bums Interview: Married Couple Vibe

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Unlike the mathematical approach of Six Organs of Admittance or the wound jangly pop of Skygreen Leopards, Ben Chasny and Donovan Quinn’s New Bums is like its name: contemporary slacker vibes, loose playing, easy, gorgeous tunes. The band’s first record, Voices in a Rented Room, came out in 2014, and almost immediately afterwards, they started recording its follow-up. It wouldn’t be released until this March, as the more layered but just as lackadaisical Last Time I Saw Grace (Drag City). Both Chasny and Quinn write songs, and each plays off the other one’s style as much as presenting their own. For instance, on the energetic “Oblieration Time”, which juxtaposes soloing and acoustic strumming, Chasny attempted to write lyrics like Quinn. As for Quinn’s lyrics, more generally, Chasny’s instrumentation shifts them. “One of the great things about songwriting [is] the way the lyrics come across versus what they actually mean,” Quinn said on a Zoom call earlier this year with me and Chasny. “The same words can be funny, sad, [or] ironic depending on the instrumentation behind [them]. It’s really fun to see what Ben does.” Chasny agrees that instrumentation matters, not citing a general philosophy but rather a YouTube video with almost 10 million views that overlays a scene of Darth Vader visiting the Death Star with a snippet of Spandau Ballet’s “True”.

Indeed, the buddy quality of New Bums shines through when they’re in the same room--even a virtual one. They laugh and play with each other and finish each other’s sentences, having been friends for a long time. But such a laid-back feeling wouldn’t be possible without each member’s distinct personalities. Chasny, knowing I was set to interview Chris Corsano later that day about his and Bill Orcutt’s excellent Made Out Of Sound, had me communicate an inside joke to Corsano, with whom he shares a band, Rangda. (The joke? Telling Corsano that he should make a pack of beats called “Chris Corsano’s Breakbeats,” to which Corsano cackled and replied, “You’ve been talking to Chasny.”) Chasny’s also self-deprecating: “I’m not a very good violin player, but the last song has me on the violin,” he shrugs about Last Time’s “Follow Them Up the Slope”. And he forgets the titles of the songs, facetiously chalking it up to the album’s lyrical themes of decay. Quinn, simply, is humble and go-with-the-flow.

Underneath it all are some serious aesthetic and instrumental chops from the both of them, a mix of guitars, harmonium (the circular “So Long, Kus”), violin, and keyboards. Opener “Billy, God Damn” is twangy and layered. “Onward to Devastation” features tasty riffing following the lilting folk of “Marlene Left California”. “Wild Dogs” shimmers, while “Hermitage Song” stuns with deep string textures. All in all, Chasny and Quinn talk about these songs with the same exuberance they do their other projects, or music by Corsano and Orcutt, or even legendary records by 90′s German drone artists. Music fans make music makers, and music bums never fade.

Read my conversation with them below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: What’s unique about Last Time I Saw Grace as compared to Voices in a Rented Room?

Donovan Quinn: I think both of the records come from the same place. A buddy record is the way I would put it, where it grew out of me and Ben in a room, playing two guitars, talking about ideas and records we admired. This one, we built the songs up a little bit more, added some layers to the songs with overdubs, and really added some depth to a lot of the compositions with vocal and guitar work and different synths, whereas the first one we tried to keep it as barebones as possible.

Ben Chasny: Yeah. I would say the first one was more slopdog, like a mutt running wild, and this one isn’t showdog level, but trimming up the dog a little bit, teaching it a couple tricks.

SILY: Maybe album 3 will be showdog. 

BC: Yeah. I think it’ll probably take a poop right in front of everybody, but it will still be up there.

SILY: Those layers are what I noticed from the get-go, on [opener] “Billy. God Damn”. Is that why you decided to have it first on the record and release it ahead of time?

BC: We ran through a number of sequences on the record. It just felt like a good one to start out with. There are definitely more vocal layers on this than the other record we did for sure.

DQ: Yeah, I don’t have a clear memory of recording a lot of these songs because we did it over a long period of time, and “Billy God Damn” is one of those songs. I think we put it first because it set a good tone for the rest of the record.

SILY: The sequencing definitely struck me. It goes back and forth between more up-tempo tracks like “Obliteration Time Two” and more lilting tracks like “Marlene Left California”. Is that something you had in mind when ultimately deciding on the order of the tracks?

BC: I think so, yeah, trying to balance it out without having one of the sides of the records being too much one direction.

SILY: I love records like this where the palate is mostly vocals and guitars but you throw in a wildcard like the harmonium, or the cello on “Street of Spies”. It makes those songs stand out.

DQ: “Street of Spies” has our buddy Jason Quever on cello who has a band called Papercuts. I work a lot with Jason and he was kind enough to put some cello on that one.

BC: He did the drums and some of the strings on the first record, too.

SILY: You could say the whole album has a loose quality, but on that song especially, you kept the false start and the countdown from the live recording.

DQ: We do like that kind of sketchbook vibe with our records.

BC: [laughs] I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say, Donovan.

DQ: I’m not gonna say what you think I’m gonna say...Me and Ben have known each other for so long, it’s a married couple vibe where we know what the other person is gonna say or is thinking...With the way you can record records now, it’s pretty easy to really get things lined up and cleaned up. We thought with New Bums, it would be kind of a nice contrast to not do that, to keep things a little bit frayed.

SILY: It goes with the aesthetic suggested by the band name, too.

DQ: Yeah, exactly.

SILY: Did anything inspire the lyrics specifically?

DQ: Not anything specifically, but over time, both me and Ben writing, we kind of developed a sense of a type of record lyrically, and it seemed to be a lot of songs about decay and certain kinds of desperation. We built from that, not totally consciously, but everything seemed to gravitate towards it.

BC: I will say, when I wrote some of the lyrics to the song “Obliteration Time”, I was actually trying to write songs like Donovan’s band Skygreen Leopards, and I was hoping he would pick up on it. I was like, “Did you pick up on it?” He was like, “No, I didn’t at all.” That was what I was trying to do.

SILY: In some ways, you still have a ways to go in your marriage, then.

BC: Yeah, a lot of ways.

SILY: What were you going for on the first line of “Street of Spies”, “Who gives a fuck about clemency?”

DQ: You know, I don’t remember. And when we were listening back to different vocal takes, there was one that was so unusually angry for me that Ben was saying I sounded like Rage Against the Machine or something, so we changed it. I don’t know. It’s just meant to have the language contrast the mellow vibe of the song. I like that style when if you have a mellow song with lyrics that contradict that feel.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the album title?

BC: It’s a line [on the album]. When you listen to [the] song, you realize it’s the name of a woman, Grace, but in context on the front of the record, it has a different meaning, which we thought would be kind of fun. You listen to the record, and you realize, “Ah, I see what they’re talking about.” 

DQ: That was kind of a last-minute title. I think we got lucky with it. It fits really well with the kind of themes developed in the record: decay, desperation, etc.

SILY: Is Grace a real person or just a character?

Both: Just a character.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the cover art?

BC: Donovan had the concept behind the art.

DQ: We were gonna see if anyone noticed this, but if you look at the first cover and the second cover, it’s basically the same elements, but we took things away. The first one has the two triangles, and it’s pictures of me and Ben, and this one doesn’t have any pictures. The idea is for every album to have the same basic design that takes elements away to eventually have nothing at all.

SILY: What are you gonna lose on the next one? One of the triangles?

BC: Possibly. That’s when I get kicked out of the band.

SILY: Or it’s self-titled, and you can use New Bums as the band and the title.

DQ: The other day, something cool happened that reminded me of the cover and the two triangles. It doesn’t totally work, but I did this video that heavily references ZZ Top. For the video, we bought a couple of ZZ Top magical keychains, and I was trying to open a box with it, but the fucking thing broke! But the two extreme points of the keys broke off, and what’s left looks a lot like the two triangles.

BC: The original record cover from the first record was based on one of my favorite records, pretty much a tribute to it, a band called The Black Vial. He did a record called Frozen Morning in maybe the mid-90s. He did 300 of them, this German guy, Liebried Loch. They were wrapped in black electric tape, and that’s what held the photograph on. This really gorgeous looking record, one of the most dark, depressing records I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s just droning on electric guitar on a practice amp, really distorted, singing songs like, “Black crows, flying no more!” We based the original artwork off that record and then modified it.

SILY: Have you thought about doing a live stream or socially distant show?

BC: We should try to figure out how to do it together. We still have to figure out Zoom. We may not do Zoom a lot. We’re more Google. We know technology.

SILY: You’re not Luddites?

BC: We have most of our meetings on Google Hangouts. 

DQ: New Bums has a lot of meetings, and we spend a lot of time together, so it’s surprising it’s taken us 5 years to do two albums and two tours. 

BC: We do have some great video footage from that tour a couple years back filmed at a bookstore in San Francisco called Adobe Books, and I think we’re gonna put that out for people to check out.

SILY: Were some of the songs from this record performed there?

BC: Yeah, we [did] “Cover Band”.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

DQ: I’ve been watching a lot of movies more than anything else. I have the Criterion Channel service, so I’ve been finding a lot of inspiration in that. I was just recommending the movie Close-up to Ben, if you want to feel that doing any kind of artistic endeavor might have some meaning, it’s worth it.

BC: I’ve been watching a lot of Poirot. That guy’s great. His relationship with Hastings is quite similar to Donovan and me, though I won’t say who is Poirot and who’s Hastings.

Last Time I Saw Grace by New Bums

[manumigoya]

A regular guy’s experience with a military graded phone and why you might want one

The Ulefone Armor 7 Pro is a smartphone designed for adventurers, construction workers and people who are routinely exposed to conditions that would endanger most modern devices. I’m not any of those things, but I still think it was the right choice for me, and it might just suit you too.

What use has a normal guy like me for a phone built to withstand such extreme conditions? I’m no couch potato, I regularly ride my bike to work and back, enjoy the occasional trekking and camping trip and walk around my city a fair bit. Even so, that is a far cry from the kind of person this phone was designed for. 

After all, the Ulefone Armor X7 Pro has a IP-68 and a MIL-STD-810G rating, which means it can literally survive for a day buried under a meter of concrete, withstand half an hour under 1.5 meters of water, its completely sealed to dust or sand, and a bunch of other characteristics you can read about here. Essentially, it’s build to last. 

About this review

This article is not intended to be a thorough technical review of the phone, but rather a list of reasons why I think it might suit you even if you are not the intended target for it. Therefore I will only go through some of the most important specs, highlighting what I personally consider relevant. 

If you wish to know the full technical details you can visit the official Ulefone site or search for a traditional review. If you wish to skip to my conclusion, where I explain why this is also a great phone for normal users, scroll to the end.

Ulefone Armor 7 Pro specs

CPU: Mediatek Helio A20 1.8GHz

RAM: 4Gb

Storage: 32Gb (expandable)

OS: Android 10

Screen: 5’’ 

Back Camera: 13Mbx

Front Camera: 5Mpx

Battery: 4000 mAh

Size: 150 x 78,9 x 14,6 mm

Has NFC

Micro-usb charging

Okay, now that we listed the technical details, let’s consider what each of them brings to the table and how the final product behaves.

Slow and steady

If you are looking for a fast snappy phone with which you can simultaneously scroll through Instagram, watch a video with picture in picture mode, and have a graphic intensive game waiting for you in the background, this isn’t it. Nor is this the price range you should be aiming at. 

The Armor Mediatek Helio A20 processor, with a frequency of 1.8GHz, isn’t anything to write home about. And the 4GB of RAM, though an improvement on previous models, pales in comparison to what even mid-range phones pack these days. 

And you know what? That’s actually perfectly fine. The purpose of this phone isn’t to win any race, but rather to get the job done. And that it does.

I need my phone to perform what has become over the years a pretty basic list of tasks: social media, document editing, internet browsing, music and video streaming, taking some pics, and basic photo and video editing. 

The Ulefone Armor 7 Pro is able to do any of those tasks without issues, even when I need to open two or three apps in the background. Yes, it does get a bit slow or even freezes for a couple of seconds from time to time, but not enough for it to interrupt my experience. 

Battery life

Back when smartphones were a new thing, we used to complain about their battery life bitterly. Habituated to our old not so bright devices whose batteries lasted for days, we felt that the tradeoff wasn’t always worth it. Yes, we were now the proud owners of mind-boggling phones that could perform amazing tasks for us. But use them for a couple of hours and you better find somewhere to charge them (and have the time to wait for that to be done).

Luckily, smartphones are getting better at this by the iteration. With its 4000mAh battery, the Ulefone Armor 7 Pro is just another contender in the race for autonomy. 

According to my digital wellbeing app, I’ve been using it an average of four and a half hours per day. That’s a lot. It actually puts me in the top 20% of screen time, but being excited for my new gadget and having to do this review I feel a bit justified.

Even so, I usually have at least 30% of the battery left when I finish my day, if not more. And, on the occasions I don’t use it as much, I can go two days without having to think about charging.

At a time when we are seeing affordable phones with 5000mAh of battery that can last up to three days without charge and that have better performance, the Armor X7 Pro’s battery life certainly won’t make any headlines, but it’s still a great perk for the price.

The Ulefone X7 Pro camera

As I said, one of the tasks I need my phone to perform on a daily basis is taking pictures. With a 13 megapixels main camera, a 5 megapixel front camera, and pro, night and underwater modes, the Armor X7 Pro it’s barely able to keep up with today’s standards.

I know, I know, nobody is buying it to start a photography career. But still, I was expecting a bit more, even from those low specs. Truth be told, the night mode usually just ruins the colors in most pictures and the pro mode feels terribly lacking. I still haven’t tried the underwater mode.

The first picture is taken on normal mode, the second with night mode. This kind of open dimly light landscape is the only instance where I found the night mode actually improved the result.

Pro tip: make sure to disable the Ulefone watermark, as I clearly didn’t.

Normal mode:

With night mode:

If your only purpose is to take casual photos for your personal social media, then the Armor X7 Pro will do the trick, but anything more than that and you will need to look somewhere else.

Other details and utilities

There’s a lot to say about this phone. From its unique set of apps to its thick rubber encasing. But, for the sake of brevity, I’ll just go through some of the features that I have noticed more in its daily usage.

Custom button

After using Motorola -and it’s amazing gestures- for years, I was afraid I would have too much of a hard time getting used to another brand. Luckily the Ulefone Armor X7 Pro comes with a custom key on its left side that can be programmed to do up to three different tasks. I have it set just to two: opening the camera and the flashlight. Simple, but incredibly useful.

NFC

A surprising number of middle-range phones lack this feature. But not the Armor X7 Pro, and I’m incredibly grateful for it. 

Headphone Jack lids

In order to withstand an hour under 1.2 meters of water, the phone is completely sealed off. That includes the headphone jack, the charger plug, and the sim tray, which are all protected by thick rubber lids. Unfortunately, said lids are difficult to open without the dedicated tool Ulefone includes in the package. 

This tool, while useful, is rather small and prone to getting lost. I have resorted to knives, forks, screwdrivers, and other such tools to open them, including my own nails (which I do not recommend). 

Sadly, on a couple of occasions where my nails were trimmed and I had nothing pointy with me, I could open the headphone jack at all and resigned myself to just listening to the surroundings. 

Though I understand the importance of this protection, I wish Ulefone had thought about some way of opening these lids without that tool. Or maybe even a way to carry it in the phone itself without fear of losing it.

Speakers

Oh my god are they loud! I really haven’t used my wireless speakers since I have this phone. Of course, it doesn’t have the same quality or sound level, but it’s more than enough for most situations.

Why I recommend the Ulefone Armor X7 Pro

Simply put, this is a phone for people that don’t want to worry at all about their phones. Which isn’t a new concept at all. The market for minimalist phones is growing as people realize that some device’s specs are so good they end up getting into the way of life.

And, while the Armor X7 Pro probably wasn’t designed with this in mind, it achieves it in an awesome and unique way. 

First of all, its specs are good enough for the vast majority of tasks people normally need their phones to perform, while at the same time not being so appealing that they demand your constant attention. 

Use it normally and you’ll have no problems, use it intensely and its shortcomings will start to annoy you. It might not be ideal, but it’s a great way to reduce your screen time (at least when you don’t have to write a review about it).

On the other hand, its ridiculous resistance to water, falls, pressure, and temperature, makes it so I don’t have to worry about breaking the thing. I’m not a particularly clumsy person, but I have been known to break a phone or two, so this is important to me. 

Now, with the Armor X7 Pro, I just leave my phone anywhere, with almost no worries about its safety. If it can go through the 29 tests needed to get the  MIL-STD-810G certification, It can withstand a fall while I’m riding my bike, the playful (and sticky) hands of my nephews, or having a pint of beer accidentally poured over it on a Friday night.

As long as it doesn’t get stolen, it will probably be with me for however long I want it to. 

And I got all of this for just over a 100 euros on eBay -you can get it cheaper in Banggood, if you are willing to wait a bit longer. Really, I don’t think theres another phone that can deliver all of this by that price.

[vivxwrites]

Guardian Angel || Part VI

*not my gif* (holy shit look at the quality of this, fantastic job)

Word Count: 1180

Summary: No spoilers here

Warnings: Slight mentions of medical things and some self-hate talk towards the end

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader

A/N: After about two weeks here it is, oops! 

{Guardian Angel Masterlist}

You woke up to the sight of cool, unfamiliar green eyes blinking down at you and you froze mid-stretch in surprise. Tony, Bruce, and Wanda stood behind the red-headed woman with sheepish looks on each of their faces, “Er...who are you?”

Her eyes scanned your body curiously and you watched as a vibrant, shapely eyebrow inched up her forehead. “I should be asking you the same thing.”

You blinked back at her and she gave you an expectant look, you only cocked your head and met Wanda’s gaze. She carefully approached the other woman and placed herself to the side of her. Wanda’s manicured hand was gently placed on the woman’s arm, who kept her eyes on you.

“Natasha,” Wanda began, “you shouldn’t be in here.” 

Natasha turned her sharp eyes towards Wanda and you watched as Wanda visibly shrank under her glare. “I don’t know what the three of you are trying to do here,” she flicked her eyes to Bruce, then Tony, and finally back to Wanda, “but the rest of us deserve to know.”

Bruce opened his mouth to speak, “Nat-“

She held up a hand, “Bruce, please. We agreed no more secrets after Ultron.” 

He nodded timidly and fumbled with his fingers. 

“Fury made us agree to keep this a secret.” Tony wore a pleading look as he furtively tried to get Natasha to back down.

“Fury be damned Stark. We all deserve to know.”

Your head turned from side-to-side like you were watching a tennis match as Tony and Natasha argued like siblings. Natasha to Tony, and returned by Natasha. Back and forth, back and forth. She defended all of his quips until he ran out and a small victorious smile appeared on her face before disappearing completely.

“So you’ll explain what the hell is going on here?” Natasha gave him a stubborn look and you could tell that she must get her way often.

He nodded furtively, “We’ll tell everyone else but please give us two weeks.” She clenched her jaw in annoyance and Tony held his hands up in surrender, “Nat I know what you’re thinking but we really do have to get her better first.”

She sighed, “Fine. But two weeks is all you get.”

The three nodded in agreement and Nat left the room, making sure to throw you one last glance over her shoulder before she turned the corner. 

Wanda sat heavily in the seat next to your bed, “Sorry about Natasha, she only wants what’s best for everyone.” You waved her off dismissively. “How’s your back feeling?”

“Like I’ve been banished from heaven and am suffering a horrible, horrible punishment.” You forced the words out of your raw and scratchy throat and gave her a hesitant chuckle.

She huffed out a laugh and lightly swatted your shoulder. “You should rest some more before the procedure.”

Oh right, the procedure. You weren’t too sure what the word meant but by the way Bruce had explained it to you, you figured that it wouldn’t matter too much whether you knew or not. After a few days of being studied by Bruce and Tony while having your pain dulled by Wanda, the results hadn’t turned out to be anything conclusive. The pain hadn’t lessened in the slightest and so the group came up with another plan. Bruce gathered that the pain started in your wings and eventually spread to the rest of your body and he hypothesized that the pain would disappear once your wings were gone. He suggested surgically removing them and you agreed, albeit reluctantly. And so the date was set for today, Wanda would hold your mind under while Bruce removed as much of your wings as he could. You were terrified but put on a brave face, maybe you could have a normal conversation with Carol once your wings were gone. 

As Wanda coaxed you under you drifted off with thoughts of the girl who changed your life, a ghost of a smile forming on your face.

A week had passed since the procedure and while you were physically in less pain, your heart was heavy with the loss of your wings. They were a part of you and on top of that they were symbolic to everything a guardian angel stood for. Without them you looked like a human and you hadn’t realized how much you would miss them until it was too late. The rational part of your brain that wasn’t overtaken by regret and bone-aching sorrow taunted you for your mistake, for the cause of your falling. It told you that Carol won't love you, that she’ll just see you as a monster. You were a monster.

You clawed desperately at your head in an attempt to stop the harsh, sharp words but they persisted. 

Tears streamed down your face and you hugged your knees to your chest, slowly rocking back and forth and holding whimpers of distress in. Wanda strolled into the room and her face fell at the sight of you.

“(Y/N), what happened? Is the pain back?” The look of worry on her face only fueled your misery, you didn’t deserve Wanda’s pity.  

You shook your head and hugged yourself tighter. 

She clicked her tongue disapprovingly and sat next to you on the bed. She placed a hand on your back and you flinched away, the area still tender from the operation. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “You can talk to me, you know that right?”

“I- yeah I know it’s just, not having my wings is hard, ya know?” She nodded in understanding and you felt compelled to continue, “It’s like losing a limb, they’ve been a part of me for so long and I don’t know how I’m supposed to function without them.”

Wanda placed a comforting hand on your knee, “It must be really hard for you, I can’t imagine what that would be like.” She gave you a small, supportive smile and reached up to carefully wipe your tears away with the pad of her thumb. 

“I’m stuck in a place that I don’t know and I don’t even have my wings to help protect myself. What am I supposed to do, Wanda? I’m scared.” You frowned at her and her face turned into one of deep sorrow.

She pulled you into a warm embrace, though your body remained stiff at the unfamiliar contact until you slowly let yourself sink into the hug. “For right now you’re going to stay with us, the avengers. Your abilities are similar to mine and I can teach you how to hone in on your skills. The rest of the team will be more than happy to help you adjust and we’ll help you figure out what to do from there.”

You sniffle and give her a watery smile, “Thank you Wanda, for all of your help.”

She squeezed your arm reassuringly, “Of course (Y/N), that’s what friends are for.”

Your heart swelled at Wanda’s mention of friends and a small grin climbed onto your face. That’s what friends are for.

A/N: and now i can breathe a sigh of relief for finally updating. I apologize for the wait, I’ve been both super tired and super busy but I hope to be able to get through some more things this weekend to give y’all more content. I’m still working on requests just so you know. Let me know if you enjoyed this chapter by leaving a note :D Viv

Permanent Tag List: @aesthetiff @autumnjackson4 @captainwonderwidow @5aftermidnight @pruemania @lesbian-x-blackwidow @taramitch96 @fansanctuary @blushycarol

Series Tag List: @vxidnik @envy-adamss @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @worlds-in-words @justarandomhumanhere @letalexaplaydespacito @natblidaclexa @skyella01 @anika-maubeerbluffin

[jaehyunnie--dew]

Limerence [Ten NCT]

noun

the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship. 

friends to lovers!au

warnings- slight angst (barely any), little bit of fluff, heavy smut, thigh riding, skull fucking, fingering, unprotected sex, dom!ten x bratty sub!reader

summary- (istg if i have to write this one more time i’ll fucking snap) 

It had been your lifelong dream to travel to Paris with your best friend, and it had finally come true. You spent mornings sipping on dark coffee and nibbling on toast, and afternoons were spent wandering the streets, soaking in the atmosphere. You had another dream though, you wanted to confess your love to Ten and spend days in the hotel room ordering room service and making love and cuddling. The City of Love holds surprises though, so maybe all your dreams can come true...

“I’m not here to fuck around Ten,” you huffed, “we are here for one reason and one reason alone.” You looked around the smoky French café, taking in the sight of multiple people smoking in the building — something you never would have seen back home. “Y/N, we’re here for some coffee and bread and cheese, calm down,” He scoffed, but his small smile betrayed his tone of voice. “That’s not funny, you know it’s always been my dream to have a simple breakfast in Paris, besides I really can’t wait for the brie cheese to bless my taste buds,” you pouted, calming your nerves with slow breaths in and out. This was the trip of your lifetime, what you had saved for since you got your first job in high school. That awful job as a housekeeper you held for three years through your adolescence gave you a good starting point, but it was your job in the office after you graduated that really made this possible. Working as a secretary for the lewd manager was suddenly all worth it as you relished in the smell of high quality tobacco mingling with coffee and light perfumes. Paris’ morning light shone through the window casting a heavenly glow on your best friend, Ten, who had been there for you since that unfortunate day in kindergarten. You had been on the playground after school, and in your innocent mind, you thought it was a great time to confess your undying love for the most popular boy in class. “Hey um,” your little heart was just racing against your chest, “um I think you’re really cute, and I’d be okay with getting cooties if I got them from you.” Yeah well apparently Jeff didn’t want your cooties because he screamed and ran away laughing, saying you were gross and he would never date a girl who picked her nose. That was a complete lie that Karen made up because you caught her not washing her hands after she went to the bathroom, but nobody cared because Karen’s dad was rich. Well that’s when the weird kid in class, Ten, knocked Jeff on his ass for being mean, which resulted in him getting put in the corner for the week. Our friendship blossomed, resulting in many sleep overs up until we were about 12, when our parents decided it was best to not put us in the same room alone for more than a couple minutes. I was there for him when Jennie broke his heart, when he lost his gym shorts during class, even when he lost his virginity. I was the first to know. I am still the first to know whenever he has sex, which is very often... “Hey, loser, where’s your mind,” Ten waved his hand in front of your face. “I was fantasizing about having barbecue sauce on my tiddies,” you referenced your favorite vine, chuckling at the memory. Ten nearly spat out his coffee when you said that, swallowing hard and glaring at you. You knew he had experienced something similar in one of his sexcapades, and loved the reaction it got from him when you mentioned it. “Bitch don’t you fucking dare I had to go to the hospital because of him.” “I know, I just really love that vine and that fact that you actually experienced something similar makes me so genuinely happy.” “Yeah well I’m glad my pain makes you so happy,” the boy across from you glared at you. “What’s the plan for today?” You queried. “It was gonna be The Louvre, then the Eiffel Tower and after that a nice dinner in the hotel, but I’m not so sure now that you’re being a bitch.” “The Louvre!? Oh please Ten I’m sorry, come on take me please! You know how badly I’ve dreamt of seeing the art,” You clasp your hands together under your chin and give him your best puppy eyes. Ten sighed slowly, smiling before saying he would still take you, and that he would never deprive you of something so important to you and your dreams. You finished your coffee just as the waiter came with a loaf of bread sliced thickly and some cheese to spread on it. “Do you need a refill?” He asked curtly, and you nodded, remembering you weren’t at home and waiters weren’t so overly enthusiastic. He placed the food down and took your cup back to have it refilled with coffee and the right portion of sweet cream. “Here,” he placed it on the table and you smiled at him as a light thanks, noticing the way his hair flopped into his dark eyes and the way his lips were parted just slightly. He looked like he had just got done with a mid-morning tryst in the kitchen. “Oh, could we get two separate plates? Family style eating is not my thing,” Ten’s request pulled you out of your small trance, and the waiter nodded. “Ten, the fuck, we don’t even use paper plates at home, what do you mean family style eating is not your thing,” You looked to him in a mildly panicked manner. “You were undressing him with your eyes, you wanna fuck him,” Ten glances towards the kitchen, “can’t say as I blame you, he’s cute.” “W-what? I w-was not!” A deep blush crept over your cheeks, giving away your brief thoughts of a night spent in bed with someone like him. “Get his number, we’re gonna be here for another month, might as well lose it here in the city of love,” Ten smirked as the boy came back with two plates. “Here,” he gave you the dishes, “anything else I can do for you?” He looks directly at you and you blush again, even deeper than before, because his gaze is intense and he seems to be smirking just a bit. “Um, your name?” You make a feeble attempt to get his information. The boy pointed to a pin on his chest, Lucas was etched into it and you couldn’t help but smile sadly. The one real relationship you had were you loved someone more than you loved your best friend, and his name was also Lucas, and he crushed your heart. “I’m Lucas, and my number is on the napkin on the second plate,” he winked, “text me sometime.” Lucas backed away slowly before pivoting, headed off to another table. “Oh shit, he’s smooth...” Ten looked on in awe. “Yeah well sucks his name is Lucas and he looks like a fuckboy,” you sighed. “I’m sorry Y/N, I’m here for you though,” Ten reaches for your hand to squeeze it tight in his. In his own mind, Ten couldn’t be happier you had already made up your mind on this Lucas boy. He had been waiting for his chance to take you as his own for years now, but he never found the right time and his stupid head was always in best friend mode, gassing you up to ask other people out. Never being selfish enough to just say he loved you as more than a friend, never having the guts to say you were the one he always thought of when he was pleasuring another girl. He hated himself for it, because he knew he was what was best for you. He knew he could make you happier than anyone else on this fucking planet. He knew just how he could tease you into begging for him to let you cum, and every time he thought of it he had to hop into a cold shower. He needed to take you for his own, but your friendship was getting in the way. He wasn’t sure how you felt even after all these years. After finishing up your breakfast, you looked at the napkin with Lucas’ number on it and contemplated leaving it there with a kiss from your nude lipstick, but decided against it reasoning that someone might take it and bother him. You looked to Ten for confirmation that it was time to leave, and he offered you his hand, leading you out the restaurant and down the cobbled street and threatened your ankles. One of these days you would remember that heels and cobbled streets do not mix, but today was not that day. “Ready for The Louvre, my dear?” Ten looked at you with bright eyes and a blinding smile. You nodded enthusiastically, curls bobbing up and down. Your gut wrenched because you were reminded just how much you love him, and how you have to constantly remind yourself he doesn’t love you like that. His constant stream of partners into your home was a painful reminder that you cried about some nights. Having him to yourself in Paris was a dream come true, literally. You had dreamt about going to Paris with him and confessing and spending days in the hotel room making love, more than once. You always woke up in tears, wishing it was real. You came really close to telling him once, after a break up that should have been unbearable was like a tiny prick at your heart. Ten thought you were just not letting yourself feel anything, and you erupted, coming this close to saying you didn’t care because you didn’t love him like you loved Ten. _________________________________________________ After your time at The Louvre, the Eiffel Tower seemed lackluster, but the view was still enchanting. It made you want to be wrapped in Ten’s arms, nuzzled into him as the wind gently caressed your skin, looking out upon Paris as night drew near. The city lit up slowly, street by street, giving you a reason to stay at the top of the tower chattering away the last hour of daylight as you watched on. “What? No way, he did?” Ten remarked in response to something you said about your boss harassing you again. “You say it like you’re surprised,” you chuckled sadly, tucking your hair behind your ear after a particularly strong gust of wind blew your hair every which way. “Well kinda, after you reported it to HR I figured it would stop,” Ten’s brows furrowed. He was genuinely upset you were going through this, he wanted to punch your manager and tell him to fuck off, but that would cost you your job. The way you were looking out on the landscape had his heart racing, he wanted to scoop you up and protect you from everything bad, keep you hidden away. “Ten,” You looked at him, deciding after looking out at the fully lit up city, “I love you.” “Well duh,” he chuckled, “I love you too.” He took it the wrong way, but your stomach was in too many knots to explain so you just nodded and suggested you head back to the hotel, you were exhausted from your magical day as the museum. Someday I’ll tell him, one of these days while we’re here. You thought to yourself. ————————————————————— After a solid nights sleep you woke up feeling well rested. You headed into the bathroom after checking to see if Ten was still asleep on the other side of the large bed. You grabbed your clothes, a light blue pinstripe sundress and some lacy baby pink panties, deciding to go braless because of the off the shoulder design. After allowing the water to fill the tub you hop in, letting the lavender bath salts soak into your skin and sooth your aching muscles from the constant activity. The sun filters through the small window near the ceiling, illuminating the bathroom just enough for you to be comfortable. If felt mildly sensual and still refreshing, making you happy to be alive. You closed your eyes in contentment and let yourself drift off, just for a little bit. Ten had woken as the sun hit his face, warming his cheeks. He noticed you weren’t in bed and assumed you were in the bathroom, but decided to check to make sure. He knocked once or twice and no answer, and he got concerned. You wouldn’t just leave the hotel without him, you didn’t know the city like he did. “Y/N?” He knocked on the door once more, a little harder this time. Still no answer, so he opened the door to find you sleeping in the tub, all the bubbles gone revealing your body to his wandering eyes. He noticed you were slowly slipping into the water, getting dangerously close to drowning, and immediately ran over to wake you. “Y/N, wake up,” he whispered into your ear as he grabbed your shoulders to keep your head above water. He had to shake you gently for you to wake up. It took a second to register what was going on, you were naked and Ten was holding you by the shoulders, eyes grazing your breasts before snapping back to your gaze. “Oh my god why are you in here!” You go to cover your body with your arms, a deep flush taking over your entire face and chest. “I knocked on the door a few times before coming in, you weren’t answering and I was worried!” He defended himself as he stood to leave. “Just get out!” You screeched, feeling utterly mortified. It took you a few minutes to calm down before you could get dressed and exit the bathroom. When you did Ten wasn’t in the room, and you sighed in relief, giving yourself time to sit on the bed and scroll through social media. You looked at people bragging about their relationships and scrolled past, feeling salty about their happiness. You so wished you could be that happy with Ten, but it was impossible. After about an hour Ten came back to the room, sweaty and looking accomplished. “What did you do, go find someone to fuck?” Your gut wrenched at the thought but judging by the way he was sweating you couldn’t think of anything else. “What?” He looked at you like you were crazy. “No, no no no, Jesus Christ no. What’s wrong with you? I went to work out in the gym downstairs.” You suddenly felt stupid, realizing you fucked up. In a last ditch effort to change the topic, you bring up the waiter from yesterday, Lucas. “So, I’m thinking I might call Lucas after all,” you wanted to get the attention off your stupid mistake, “he was really cute, and he was interested in me.” Ten’s emotions boiled over in that moment, he was furious at you for thinking about another guy when all he could think about was how you looked in the tub this morning. “You what? Why?” His voice was low. “Well you were right, he’s cute and I was thinking about him a lot yesterday and since we’re not gonna be here forever I don’t have to get serious. I might actually be able to lose my virginity.” “Why the fuck does losing your virginity matter?” His eyes were wide with anger and you weren’t entirely sure why. “Why can’t I be enough for you?” His voice was as low as a whisper and you didn’t hear him fully. “What did you just say? I didn’t hear you,” you expected him to repeat himself, but he stormed out and left you confused and angry. He didn’t come back that day, leaving you alone in the room with no food and no way to contact him because he left his phone here. You felt awful, but you didn’t say anything wrong. You were an adult and did not owe him any explanation about having any kind of relationship, sexual or not, with anyone of your choosing. That why it bothered you that you felt so awful. It was like your stomach was constantly turning, and you were pacing the room back and forth. You spent fifteen minutes crying before falling asleep for a little bit, dreaming of confessing to Ten in Paris and making love. ————————————————————— Ten was so mad he couldn’t think straight. He knew it wasn’t right, he never made it clear that he loved you, and he had slept with plenty of people himself. He tried to calm down by running again, but it wasn’t working. He needed to get away from the hotel, away from you just for a while, so that he wouldn’t storm into to the room and ruin the trip by telling you he wanted you to be his and never think of another man like that again. He rented a cheap room down the street at a ratty motel with questionable taste in decor, giving himself the time and space he needed to think. You also had time to think after waking up from your sad nap, that was what you called naps when you cried yourself to sleep. You decided that when he came back you were going to make it abundantly clear that you loved him, not just as a friend, and if that ruined the vacation then so be it. You would go find another hotel to cry in for the next month, or maybe just go home. It wasn’t worth it for you to keep pushing your feelings aside, and who knows, maybe he would feel the same. You snickered at your naive thought that things like this work out. All feelings aside, you were worried because your friend still hadn’t come back to the hotel and it was nearing one a.m., Ten could take care of himself but you didn’t feel so safe without him. Being alone in a king size bed in a big room in Paris did nothing for your anxiety, and you felt bad when you locked the door from the inside for fear of Ten not being able to get back in. So there you sat, knees up to your chest in a king size bed with silky light blue sheets in a hotel in Paris, without the man you loved. Ten was also having troubles of his own. He was struggling to come to the right frame of mind to go back. He knew you needed a friend right now but his erratic heart beat and constant thoughts of you loving him back were nagging at him, telling him to just tell you and possibly ruin the friendship just for his own stupid feelings. After a night of tossing and turning and very little sleep, he checked out and walked down the street back to your hotel, greeting the door attendant with a small nod. He opted for the stairs in comparison to the devastating silence of the elevator where he might chicken out and decide to just kiss you the second he saw you. He knew you needed a friend to gas you up, not someone who was gonna be possessive and keep you to himself. Once he came to the seventh floor he was breathless, he sounded like he had just completed a marathon. Sirens were going off in his mind, telling him to man up and take you for his own. He ignored every single one of them and took his key to the door, sliding the card and waiting for the little beep to confirm it was unlocked. On the other side of the door you were sat in the middle of the bed biting your nails down to nubs. Your legs were crossed and your brows deeply furrowed, worried that Ten had maybe left you here in favor of company at another hotel. You shook your head, pushing the thought away. You heard a small clock and turned your head to the door, seeing it crack open and his head poked through. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I don’t know what got into me I never should have-“ Ten started as he walked through the door, but you didn’t pay attention, because you darted off the bed nearly breaking your leg. You tossed your arms around his neck and he stood there shocked. “Ten, look me in the eye,” You looked up at him with your eyes wide, determined but terrified, “if you ever fucking leave me like that again I’ll hunt you down and punch you in the gut.” You didn’t have it in you to tell him like you thought you did, so you just kissed him. You kissed him hard, and all the while he just stood there motionless. Ten’s mind was racing, eyes wide, and hands clenched tight. He wasn’t sure what was going on, he was still trying to process the threat of a gut punch. The second you pulled away he used his now free lips to exclaim, “What the fuck!” “You don’t love me like that, I know,” you sighed, feeling like an absolute fool, “but I just had to tell you. It’s been like this for so long, I don’t even know how long I’ve loved you.” Ten was trying to process the kiss, still a few seconds behind you, but when he heard you say it he suddenly understood. He was wrong, you loved him, you actually loved him. He felt his heart explode. “No, Y/N, no no no you’re so wrong,” he took your hands in his, “Jesus fucking Christ I can’t believe this, I’ve loved you for ten years.” Your eyes were stinging with the threat of tears, throat tight and lip wobbling. “Don’t cry baby, please?” Ten took you in his arms and carried your shaking body to the bed. He set you down gently, taking his place beside you and pulling you close to his chest. “But I thought you were gonna hate me and go home without me,” you sobbed in relief. Ten wiped the tears off your cheeks and smiled. “I would never do that to you, I’m still your best friend, I have a contractual obligation to keep you safe even when we’re aren’t on good terms.” He winked at you in his usual joking way, making your worries melt away. “You really love me?” Your eyes started to glint with excitement, “like as more than your best friend?” “Yes, since you helped me after Jennie,” Ten looked you directly in the eye, “even then I think I loved you before that.” Your heart was pounding, stomach full of butterflies as you looked at the man you had loved for most of your lifetime, the man who kept you up countless nights with thoughts of kisses leading to more. “Kiss me,” you said, just above a whisper. Ten smirked as he brought his hand up to your neck, “You sure?” He drawled. “Mhm.” You closed your eyes slowly, and then there it was, you felt his lips slotting against yours in a slow rhythm. He was gentle but his hand was firm on the side of your neck, signaling you to let him control the kiss. Your legs slowly intertwined and you hands started to roam his chest and abdomen, finding places that elicited goosebumps when you caressed him just right. You felt heat pooling in between your legs, a throbbing beginning to present itself. You knew all too well the feeling meant you had two options, a cold shower, or alone time to pleasure yourself. This time though, this time you might not have to pleasure yourself. Maybe Ten would take care of you. The thought had your mind going haywire, the possibilities seemed endless in that moment. “Babe,” Ten pulled away, breathless and disheveled, “we don’t have to, we should wait until we know exactly what’s going on.” You whimpered quietly, “What is there to know, we’re two adults who have loved each other for years. Do you not want to date me?” “Of course I do princess, I just want to make sure you want this. You don’t have to do this for me.” “Oh my god,” you got fed up with his kindness, the stickiness between your legs becoming ever more prominent. You rolled on top of him, caging his head in between your arms, “shut up. Just fuck me.” You dipped your head down to his neck and nibbled on the bare skin, something you had dreamt of doing for so long. “Excuse me,” Ten took a fistful of your hair in his hand and jerked your head upwards, “but I was just trying to be nice. You’re gonna talk to me like that?” The look in his eyes changed, it was dark and mean, no mercy anywhere in his gaze. “What are you gonna do about it?” You tested his limits, seeing if he was just acting or if he was really going to dominate you. “First rule of dating me,” he growled into your ear, “you’re obedient, and you take what I give you.” You rolled your hips onto his thigh, defiance glowing from your eyes. “No, I don’t wanna. I want to be fucked and I want it now.” Ten’s hands left your hair in favor of your hips, lifting you off him and throwing you down on your stomach. He took your hands behind your back and held them with one hand while he brushed you hair to the side exposing your neck to the warm air. “Guess I’ll just have to teach you then, won’t I,” his breath splayed across the crook of your neck, and you felt excited, he wasn’t acting, he was truly being dominant. That was a major switch from what you heard, he was usually pretty submissive with anyone else. “Once you let go of me I’m going to make you fuck me,” you let out your threat through clenched teeth, barely able to wait to see what he would do next. You didn’t get a response from him, he just parted your legs roughly and shoved his knee between them. He propped you up just a but so your head was on the bed and your ass was in the air, his thigh pressing up against your heat. “Since you wanted to grind on me so badly earlier, grind.” He didn’t need to tell you for you to take action, rolling your hips, begging for friction. His thigh flexed, and a jolt of electricity spread throughout your body. You remembered you wanted to push him to the edge, and forced yourself to stop, your clit begging you to begin again. Ten didn’t take this well, he grabbed your hips and flipped your position so you were back on top of him, his thigh underneath you now. He kept his hands on your hips, dragging you back and forth against your own will. You started to melt under the pressure that was building. You tried to keep the mewls of pleasure from escaping your lips, pressing them together and furrowing your brows. “Moan for me princess, it’s okay if you feel good,” his eyes were searching yours for any semblance of defiance, but you were feeling too much to pretend you didn’t want this. You let your mouth fall open and the moan escaped without your permission. You wanted to care, but all that mattered right now was that Ten’s thigh was gonna make you cum. It was embarrassing that you felt so good from just his thigh, you wanted more but he was relentless, pushing you towards your orgasm. “Are you gonna cum?” He asked. You nodded, unable to form coherent words. Then he stopped, stilling you suddenly holding you in a vice like grip. “But,” you protested, you wanted so badly to release the tension in your stomach. You wanted to feel the rush of white hot pleasure taking over your entire body, melting you into a puddle of who you once were. “Lay down with your head off the edge of the bed,” Ten pushed you off him and jumped off the bed, unbuckling his belt and stepping out of his trousers. “No,” you teased, “you didn’t let me cum, I’m not gonna be good for you.” Ten took your face in one hand and told you that if you didn’t do as he said he would walk out right now. You wanted to dare him, push his limits, but something in you told you he wasn’t kidding and you needed him more than you cared to admit. You were thinking about him nipping at your stomach, knuckle deep in your folds and pushing you over the edge. You laid on your back and let your head dangle off the edge of the bed. “Open your mouth,” you did as he asked, obediently opening your mouth. As you looked at him, you saw his cock jump out from under his briefs. You looked on in disbelief, wondering how you were gonna fit it in your mouth, feeling a little fear. Ten must have sensed it, because he suddenly turned gentle. “It’s okay, the position makes it easier,” he placed kisses on your temples before slowly shoving his cock in your mouth. It was hard to breath at first, but you understood after a few seconds that you had to breath through your nose. You liked the little grunts he made when you sucked your cheeks in, and tried to keep it up. He started to be more rough, jamming himself down your throat, and you couldn’t help but be immediately turned on. You felt so happy to know you were making him moan, and the strings of saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth were oddly enticing. You felt like a toy, like he was using you and it felt amazing. “Do you like this princess? You’re going cross eyed,” he grunted in short syllables, his voice shaky. You were turning him into a mess, and you loved it. You hummed in response, forcing him to pull out before he came down your throat. “Why did you stop?” You whined, “I wanna make you cum.” Your eyes were blown out and glassy, looking close to the perfect image of utter bliss. “It’s not about me princess, crawl up the bed and I’ll show you how good I can make you feel,” his gaze was softening just slightly, making you more compliant. You wanted him to kiss you everywhere, leaving hickies in places only you could find them. “We have to get you out of this,” he pushed the dress you were wearing up your body, “it looks beautiful but it’ll just get in the way.” When his hands grazed your sides you felt goosebumps rise all over, hardening your nipples to a peak. He tugged the dress over your head and took a moment to revel in your beauty, in disbelief that this was actually happening. You felt yourself blush and covered your breasts with your arms. “Don’t cover yourself, let me see you in full view. I’ve imagined this so many times, but it was never this beautiful,” Ten was transfixed, hypnotized. He wanted to cover every inch of your exposed skin in kisses, and that’s exactly what he did. He started randomly peppering small, slow kisses all over, you stomach, your chest, the hem of your now drenched panties. You were on cloud nine, somehow even higher than before. Your legs were trembling with need under Ten’s waist, and you could feel yourself dripping now. “Please,” you moaned, “please touch me, make me cum.” It almost sounded like you were crying, and you felt like it. You were so high you just wanted to go even higher, mind a complete haze. Ten looked up to you from his position and took in the view. You were a sight to behold, looking utterly fucked out and he had still barely touched you. You were putty in his hands now, begging him for your release. “Well, since you said please,” he smirked at you as he hooked his fingers into your panties and tugged them down, “I’ll let you cum, just once though.” You smiled, happy because of the man between your legs, and his ability to control how you were feeling. Her took a moment to marvel at your soaked core before lightly kissing your inner thighs, covering every inch of ground before turning his attention to the main attraction. He used his lithe fingers to prod at your opening and almost slipped in because of how slick you were. “Fuck princess, you’re so wet for me,” he licked his lips hungrily, “have you imagined this before?” Ten looks up to your to see if you answer, and is in love with the sight. A blush is creeping up your neck and you have your bottom lip between your teeth, brows furrowed and playing with your nipples. “Yes, I have, so please,” You whimper pathetically, “please please please.” “I can’t say no to that face,” Ten puts his fingers to work, inserting one into you painfully slowly. You wiggle your hips to indicate you want more. “Slowly babygirl, I want to enjoy seeing you like this,” he kissed your thighs again before adding another digit and stretching you just slightly. He started to curl his fingers upward, massaging a certain spot that had your back arching off the bed. “Oh my fuck, yes!” You cried out loudly, mouth hanging wide open and your eyelids hung half closed. Your vision went blurry and Ten picked up the pace, pushing into harder and faster. You felt the white hot flash, followed by the warmth that spread throughout your body, your orgasm exploding from your stomach. Colors flashed on your eyelids as you rode it out, Ten deliciously slowing down and drawing his fingers out of you. “Good girl, you look so pretty when you cum,” he placed his fingers at your lips, expecting you to take them in your mouth. You did as he wanted and was surprised to find how sweet you tasted, it was like honey, utterly intoxicating. He lowered himself down again to lap up your juices directly from your folds. He hummed in pleasure, “So good babygirl, so fucking sweet.” “Can you make me cum again,” you batted you eyelashes innocently, “pretty please?” You were embarrassed to ask but it was so good, you could get addicted to it. “Are you still on birth control princess?” Ten scaled you body up back to your lips, slowly kissing you while you nodded. You loved the taste of you on him and the way they mixed to create something new and even more intoxicating. “Can I fuck you properly this time?” His voice was barely a whisper at the base of your neck, kissing your collarbones. You nodded again, smile spreading across your face. Your entire body felt so light, like you were floating, but you came back down as soon as Ten started to push into your folds. The stretch was delicious, and he slipped right in, all the way to the hilt. His breathing was shaky as your walls clenched around him. “Mm babygirl,” he hummed, “you feel even better than I imagined, so tight.” His voice had gotten an octave deeper, threatening to make your heart beat even faster which might send you into cardiac arrest. His thrusts were slow at first, going deeper than you though possible, making you back arch off the bed again, hitting that special spot over and over again. You couldn’t comprehend how good you felt, it was like you weren’t even a human anymore. You felt like you had ascended to another plane of existence. Your attempt to form simple phrases failed epically, making you babble incoherently about how good he was fucking you. Ten had been holding back but seeing you moaning so wontonly beneath him made him finally lose it. He rolled his hips, slamming against you so fast it was a blur. The lewd sound of skin slapping filled the room, and you reveled in it. You were sure this was a dream, nothing on the planet could feel to good. “Ah, fuck!” Ten choked out as he stilled suddenly. You felt the knot in your stomach come lose again, the pleasure washing over you like a wave. You both collapsed in a sweaty heap, unable to tell where one ended and the other began, chests heaving and hearts racing. The release of after sex hormones pushing you to snuggle into him once he rolled off you, but he hopped out of bed a padded to the bathroom, coming out with a towel to clean you up. You felt so loved in that moment when he wiped you clean, he smiled softly after you were both clean. When ten climbed back to bed he immediately pulled you to him, pressing your bodies together as sleep pulled over you both. ————————————————————— When you both woke up you were still entangled, feeling like a single being rather than two separate entities. “Good morning Y/N,” Ten smiled at you sweetly, his voice raspy. “Good morning Ten, I love you,” you nuzzled into his chest, finally able to say what you wanted to for so many years. “I love you too, more than anything on this planet.” You felt your heart flutter and laid there in utter bliss and a little disbelief. All you ever had to do was tell him and he would’ve been yours. You just had to use your words, that simple. “I wish we could stay like this forever, but I’m starving,” You pouted, slowly pulling away. Ten pulled you back to him, quiet for a moment, before sighing. “Let’s do it,” He stated matter of factly. “What?” You knitted your brows together in confusion. He smiled at you and stated, like it was the most natural thing in the world, “Let’s stay here like this forever, you and me, in Paris. We can get a flat, and you can focus on your art. I’ll find a job here and we can live here happily ever after.” You knew you should’ve been appalled, but you found yourself nodding, tears pricking at your eyes. “Let’s do it.”