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iobjectfa20 · 3 years

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Lippi’s Madonna and Child

Filippo Lippi (1406-1469)

Madonna and Child with Two Angels, 1460-1465 ca.

Tempera on wood

95x62 cm

The Uffizi Galleries

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Why I chose this piece

When thinking about what piece to choose, I was stuck for a few days. I felt that I did not have any objects in mind that were ‘strong enough” in their objection. Most of the art that I have studied has been within the European realm and, therefore, Eurocentric. I was not sure if a European piece would be as appropriate or powerful as a painting or sculpture from a culture that had been colonized by Europeans. However, as I thought about it more, I concluded that dismantling harmful ideas and stereotypes produced by Eurocentrism within Europe is just as crucial as dismantling them in previously colonized cultures.

I feel a deep connection to the Renaissance and Italian culture in my academic studies because of my undergraduate degree in Italian. I knew I wanted to carry what I learned during the last four years into my graduate work, and this project seemed like the perfect opportunity. There were lots of different artists and paintings that I could have chosen. There is Artemisia Gentileschi, a woman artist who rivals Caravaggio in skill and style. Or Elisabetta Sirani, another woman artist from the Renaissance who opened a painting academy for women. Their works contrast the Eurocentric norms of the time, by their status as women artists and the subjects of their art.

I chose Filippo Lippi’s piece for a few different reasons. The first is that it is my favorite painting from the Renaissance. The first time I heard the story behind the painting’s history, I was enthralled. Like the painting’s physical beauty, I thought the story was beautiful and liberating. My thoughts changed later upon hearing another version of the painting’s history, but for the most part, I still find myself caught up in the emotion of the original sentiment I studied. The second reason I chose this painting is its role in cementing some but contesting other Greco-Roman norms, many of which persist today. The Renaissance’s goal to reclaim ancient Greek and Roman culture and harmful Christian ideals created a dangerous and oppressive situation for women in the Renaissance. Since many cultures worldwide have been shaped by these same Eurocentric cultural aspects, I think the painting’s objection to women’s status at its time of creation makes it all the more powerful. Its power transcends time and is still important today.

This painting is by no means a perfect representation of Filippo Lippi or his character, as I describe in more detail below. However, I think it shows objection to religious and social ideas we abide by today, especially in Christian culture, that were seemingly cemented in the Renaissance. I also think it is an excellent piece to explore Eurocentric historicism, which I discuss below. I enjoyed revisiting my favorite Renaissance work of art, and it turned out to be the perfect piece for me in completing this project.

Reframing the object

Lippi’s Madonna and Child with Two Angels has been a symbol of resistance in my eyes since I first learned about it in my undergraduate Renaissance art history class. While the Renaissance was about breaking the rules, new rules regulated the breaking of those old rules. The push away from traditional religious iconography and imagery in the Renaissance did not mean that religious painting and sculpture commissions stopped--quite the opposite, actually. Biblical scenes and characters' secularization led to a boom in inspiration and production, with hundreds of annunciation, crucifixion, and “Madonna and child” scenes portrayed in the Renaissance style. These scenes were often inserted into a Tuscan landscape, depicting characters according to Italian beauty standards at the time.

Upon first glance, this painting may appear to be another standard “Madonna and child” from the early Renaissance. Mary, dressed in blue and seated in the foreground, adheres to the ideals of Renaissance beauty. With blond hair, a high forehead, and brown eyes, she depicts the ideal woman from this period. Her skin is also a pale cream, another ideal physical aspect of Italian society and art during the Renaissance. After the first glance, though, it becomes clear that Mary’s face is not the generic face of any particular Italian woman walking down the street. Her face is uncannily similar to the face of Lucrezia Buti, Lippi’s wife.

The act of using his wife as a model for the mother of God may not have been scandalous in and of itself. However, Lippi, an ordained priest, and Buti, a nun, had an affair that resulted in children out of wedlock. Historically, the narrative has been that Lippi kidnapped Buti during a public Catholic procession, taking her to his home in Prato, where their affair ensued. It is unclear whether the kidnapping was a front because Buti could not leave her convent, or if it was an actual kidnapping, meaning she was held against her will and raped multiple times. Most of what we know about Lippi and Buti comes from Giorgio Vasari’s The Lives of the Artists, a collection of biographies published in 1550 written about the best artists of the Renaissance. Vasari was known to exaggerate and alter stories for his dramatic literary gain. He was also a raging sexist, excluding numerous successful and famous women artists from his work. How much of Lippi and Buti’s story is true is up for debate.

Lippi and Buti’s statuses in the Catholic church made their affair extremely scandalous, even by Renaissance standards. Themes of carnality and sexual liberation were increasingly common in art and literature, but purity, modesty, and virginity remained crucial aspects of religious life. Lippi and Buti’s children, who were born out of wedlock, were proof of their Catholic faith's betrayal. As punishment, they should have been exiled from Florence at the very least. The Medici family, who ruled Florence and the surrounding villages, allowed Lippi and Buti to remain in the city and live as a typical family so long as Lippi completed painting commissions at the family’s request. With their significant political influence and artistic patronage, the Medici family acquired a special dispensation for Lippi and Buti to marry. It is unclear whether they ever did, which would have only added to the shame of their domestic and religious situation.

It is impossible to ignore the possibility that Buti may have been a victim of sexual assault in this story. If it is true, Lippi’s work cannot be separated from his status as a rapist. However, given that there is no clear evidence that he is or is not, the more common narrative that he kidnapped Buti because she could not leave the convent and that they truly loved each other has persisted. This being the standard narrative speaks volumes to the ways history is written to protect and favor men.

Using Buti as his model for Mary, Lippi smashes the expectation that women should be modest and pure. His wife, a disgraced nun and mother of bastard children, is the face of the mother of God. Lippi objected to harmful and sexist gender roles in doing this. Mary has long since been the “ideal” feminine model for women living within the Christian sphere. Her veneration, which partially stems from her virginity, has been used to keep women sexually repressed and stuck in submissive social and domestic roles.

Patriarchy and its harmful consequences cannot be separated from Eurocentrism. In reframing Lippi’s Madonna and Child with Two Angels, I would like to apply Dipesh Chakrabarty’s theory regarding Eurocentrism and historicism. If we look at this painting and the traditional narrative of Mary, Christianity, and women’s roles, it goes against Eurocentric historicism. A woman like Buti would be considered a whore to most people during the Renaissance, even though she is possibly a survivor of sexual assault.

Religion, sex, and patriarchy do not exist in a vacuum. Nor are they determined by history. We make decisions every day (conscious and unconscious) that uphold the harmful effects of negative sex representation in patriarchal religious settings, much like those in the Renaissance did. This was not because people did not “know any better.” Scholarship and rhetoric surrounding women’s rights and freedom were relatively well-circulated during the Renaissance. Books like Christine de Pizan’s The Book of the City of Ladies set forth numerous arguments for women's liberation and their various essential roles in society. Like today, people chose to use tradition and “history” to continue reinforcing harmful stereotypes, expectations, and ideals for women.

Lippi and Buti’s story is complicated. We will never know what truly unfolded nearly 600 years ago, mainly because the male-centered narrative has persisted in their case. However, Lippi’s painting does object to religious standards of the time. With his painting, a woman can be held with the highest regard, regardless of her sexual past. It goes against the Eurocentric patriarchal tradition and breaks away from the European historicism that claims women’s treatment was shaped solely upon the cultural norms of the past that peristed in the Renaissance. This piece is one of the most famous works from the Renaissance, and it is still widely celebrated today. Its place in art academia makes it a piece of persisting resistance that can serve as inspiration to break away from gender norms in religion and society today, as Lippi and Buti did so many years ago.

--Darian Rahnis

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neo-shitty · 2 years

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i was only gone for a while tas pagbalik ko, dami ng updates :">>> i love it heh. pati lmao everytime i open your blog, gif ni haechan lalabas. bet ko to, nakaka good mood todo <33

gusto ko yung "beloved ghost anon 👻🖤" 😩 pero grabe ah, mapa nobela man ean o short read lng, pa amaze ng pa amaze ako sa mga stories mo habang tumatagal 😌 sorry checkmate, 2nd place ka na. DUDE IDK WHY pero never imagined na may makakatalo pa sa checkmate mo pero iba talaga to e (dagdag na this was my request kaya feel na feel dbuh). "when the dust settles and the smoke clears and you get a clear glimpse at the aftermath..." yung paragraph na to, omaygad ang galing mo :">>> like, alam mo ba yung feeling pag dumating yung climax ng movie? ETO EON ETO EONNN MAREEE. LEGIT, when i read this "omg when the dust settles omf omg eto yung title omg" PARANG TANGA AKO 😭🤌🤌🤌 i mean ganon naman talaga ako sa lahat ng mga nagugustuhan kong stories pero uGH. your description and narration sa inner thoughts and feelings ni mc ?? fucking ?? perfect ?? i expected it to be full fluff honestly, kaya nung nakita ko hurt/comfort <//3 */ rineady ung heart. anyways, reading this made me miss the rain :<< i ve always loved the rain. lamig ih , so hot in the pelepens kc ~.~ . and, yung pitter patter sounds, ang comforting sobra aaaa hbu? cold or hot season 🤔

eto na no longer human 😩 lakas ng kutob ko na matatalo nito crimson sa #1 spot. natutuwa talaga ako sa 30k wc, gawin ko ding 30k feedback ko para bumawi 😎 JKJK pero in all honesty, i feel like todo rant den ako dito. i m very nervous bc wala talaga akong mahula sa pwedeng mangyari and at the same time, really really excited sa release neto :>> nakakakaba yung childhood bestfriends to ??? au pero i feel like regardless if magka tuluyan sila or di,, it would nt bother me that much LOLOL even if they become enemies xd i know sabi mo no relation to bsd BUT the bandages ni mc ??? = ?? DAZAI ?? warafark. just reminds me of him hihi.

moving on ! dude, tumblr also broke the tags 🤷 they used to work pretty well but the update happened tas ayorn, hirap na. especially for the rec blogs since basis nila is yung tags ~.~ OHH SAMEE, battle of the bands is the most anticipated event tuwing foundation day. out of the 3 days ng celebration, one of them would end very late at night (10 pm ganon) kasi want nila bonggang bonggang lights, lasers eme eme once the bands start playing. it was fun kaso close na yung food booths after 5 pm kaya gutom kaming lahat :<< oh yeah and all the students would line up and those belonging in the council would inspect bags and ganon in case may nag dala ng ya know. high school lang naman pwede umattend gn botb kaya mabilis lng den yung inspection LOL AND YES,, chika mo lng yan 😎

yupp, everyday was the one about changing bodies. it s fine, thank youu pa denn. i did caught up with sleep but it seemed like you didnt Y^Y or is that 10 pm to 11 am? kasi kung 1 hour lng tulog mo, buti nakakatayo ka pa Y^Y SLEEEPPP. unfortunately, spy x family is far from finished. i feel like matagal tagal pa yun matatapos kasi di masyadong umuurong main plot (yung side arcs are very entertaining naman kaya no loss). pati it has over 55 chapters pa lang pero it s a great manga 🤩 we stan port mafia😔🙌 lol the mc in deranged detective does act like ranpo with the 'choosing only the cases that interests me'. nakapag pahinga naman ako in between, thanks! how s your week :3 (how s the beach 👀)

ALSO, i used to think that haechan was the left guy looking straight at the camera in the banner of your what if we stay fic LOL and thought the one holding the guitar was another nct member... omg.. in my defense, this was before i started stanning nct. i just looked through all your masterlists and saw that LMAO we also do that a lot at school, eating in class HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA it was kinda sad na bigla biglaan na lang canceled whole sy that time because of the pandemic :// i thought bibigyan lang kami short break tas babalik na tas biglang poooffff :<< pero dapat lang kasi deliks tlguhh. your fortunate enough not the get caught by the teacher Y^Y a row na dapat sampo lang pero biglaan naging 13 would be very noticeable HAHAHFJHASDFJHJDFHS

HAHAHAHHDSHDHDHA i actually stalked op in the famous twt post going around in tumblr. the one with the pretending to be clueless to promote voting. LMFAO the user doesnt know that they got really really sikat sa tumblr Y^Y AY PATI OMG yung performance nila sa AAA aaaaa. dude the last time they performed at an award show (forgot the name) they showed scissors which is a song na hindi pa released before. tas bagong kanta na naman yung pinakita nila. we stan 😌🙌 AND really happy they got a daesang, dasurv nila eon. plus, doyoung and nct 127 got focus award and album of the year. I DIDNT KNOW HE ACTED DAMN. dasurv then hihi. all in all, a good day for both them and the fans <33

i havent read star lost yet :"<< but i will later. sama ko na den reread ng gladius para may recap 😎 very happy that gm got a sequel aaaaa. kinig na den star lost before reading para feel na feel. AND , another minho fic coming up 🤨 will. patiently. wait. 😩

also for the ask game, 5 and 89 ?? spoti said i spent exactly 158,007 minutes listening 👁👄👁 should i be scared? LMAO 😭😭😭 629 repeats of grow up plus in the top 0.005% listeners of skz. i should chill for a bit. ALOS GOOD NIGHTTT

- 👻

gandang bungad, lee haechan agad! (also i can’t shrink the font rn, i think it’s because of the photos .__. so sorry in advance!!)

"sorry checkmate, 2nd place ka na” NAUUUR kawawang checkmate HAHAH i think you liked this better kasi request. am so happy i got to write this for you, and i’m glad you liked it :(( cute mong mahype sa fic HAHAHA T_T i came up with those when the dust settles metaphors while cleaning last week AHAHA tapos kaya sobrang realistic kasi based on experience *tumambling* GHOST ANON NAGMURA *GASPS* it was either this or a breakup au, bestie. at least may konting fluff pa dito T_T it’s been raining a lot here, hindi ba maulan diyan? there are times na natatakot ako sa sound ng rain (bagyo trauma tingz) but yes there are times na comforting :(( and definitely cold season!!

YUNG 30K FEEDBACK HAHAHHA OH NO T__T no longer human is literally just your typical zombie apocalypse au ganorn. i think to work more on establishing jaemin and mc’s relationship kasi may mas pinag-effortan pa kong side character kaysa sa bida mismo ;n; HAHAHAHA MOOD YUNG DAZAI. same tots nung nireread ko na siya. dagdag pa na no longer human yung title.

battle of the bands happy place olweys hihi dapat advance kayo bibili ng food or magdadala ganon? oh ine-inspect for liquor? LMAOOO sa’min council pa pasimuno T_T jail y’all, j a i l. and the chika HAHA back nung 2019 i had this fling that i really liked. pero siguro kaya hyped lang ako sa kanya kasi it’s not every time na i meet someone who meets my standards? (di ako nagmamaganda which is a problem, i just have a very strict vibe check???) tapos (yall i’m having flashbacks, could be fic inspo) we fell apart. char lang, he ghosted me. tapos i was bitter for a few months pero eventually naging casual ganon since he still reached out and i pretended that what we had didn’t matter as much as it actually did. nung nagfoundation days, he was invited by my classmate (*coughs* wingman) who was competing. since he didn’t know anyone else, i ended up accompanying him throughout the show. that day, i wasn’t expecting that he’d show up but...he did. LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED PRIOR TO THIS I KEPT TWEETING NA BOTB DATE WHERE. pero anw, we watched the performance from the back. i told him na a spot for him was reserved malapit sa front bc he was 1) invited, and 2) i had council privileges but we stayed at the back. and...in the show, huling sandali was performed and it just hit different bc months before that i got to watch december avenue fresh out the ghosting and nearly teared up hearing the song live LMAO and watching it with him felt... like closure? later that night he tweeted smth about closure THAT I DIDNT GET TO SCREENSHOT but i liked it and i agreed. it felt like that. a silent closure for something that didn’t have a label. feryodt. if you want to read more on this, stone cold sober & chasing daydreams were for him and i just rewrote them to fit hyunjin HAHAHAH

anywaaaays i’ve been napping a lot after eating breakfast so mej bumabawi. bummer nga lang na nacucut yung tulog ganon. i sleep my regular 6 hour thing naman, i just sleep in between the day to catch up with the remaining 2?

HELP MEEEEE why is that story so long T_T grabe yung hindi umuurong yung main plot. buti di nawawalan ng inspo yung writer HAHAH i think ranpo stans would like deranged detective. the beach was okay. i expected better but we can’t have better unless island beaches. sleeping somewhere else na di bahay ko after a year was great tho. I SLEPT AT 11. which is impossible kung dito lang sa bahay. the change of scenery helped me write the outline of roger rabbit (minho fic hihi) how was YOUR week?

we all get confused with members before stanning. i used to think bang chan and changbin were the same person T_T damn i miss my friends HAHAH most of my high school fics is just me venting. and same. we really thought na isang week lang yung suspension HAHAH before we knew it months na akong nakakulong sa bahay ??? i think teachers barely paid attention to us kasi madaldal yung front row people HAHAH

HAHAHAH thoughts on the twt post? i haven’t watched the performance yet oml but i watched the vlive and AAAAA kakaproud talaga :((( they’ve come this far na. yeah doyoung does plays and acted in a drama (which i havent watched yet) YK I THINK THE NCT MEMBERS WILL ALL GET ACTING CAREERS SOMEDAY.

good luck with reading star lost! i initially hated it but the writing’s okay naman pala :(( it was just a random idea and i’m glad i got to write it down. AND YES PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING AAAAA roger rabbit will be posted idk pa kasi no longer human muna tapos roger rabbit T_T i hope you’re still around by then T_T

here are the quotes for the ask game tho, first is sad beautiful tragic by tayswift and dive into you by nct dream. HELP MEEEE i only had 50k minutes and yours is triple T_T but then again, ganyan din ako nung hs HAHAHAH help me thats so close to the top for skz listeners .____. scary

#toff.asks #👻#AAAAAAA i missed u owo

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stirlingmoss · 3 years

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THE DANGERS OF NOBLE LYING FOR MUSLIMS TODAY

Before he was killed in a Damascus mosque in 2013, Muhammad Said Ramadan Buti was one of the most famous member of the Syrian ulama (the guardians, transmitters, and interpreters of religious knowledge in Islam). An accomplished Shafi’i jurist, former rector of the Shariah College at the University of Damascus and a strong supporter of Sufism, in an interview he once recalled his own father’s death many decades earlier. Buti’s father had been an admired Muslim cleric, and after his death Buti recounted how his father suddenly became the centre of numerous miracle stories. Legends circulated in the neighbourhood about the angelic presence and portents of God’s favor that appeared at his father’s deathbed. ‘When the people love a pious person,’ Buti remarked, ‘they invent miraculous stories about him.’ Buti certainly did not want to contribute to the disenchantment of the world. He acknowledged that such saintly miracles were possible and that tales of them might well nourish religious devotion in some folk. He inclined toward the Hanafi position on such matters: if people wanted to believe random stories of saintly miracles, they could. Disbelieving them, however, was no sin. Yet Buti also recognised the dangers. ‘Ultimately,’ he concluded, ‘the negative consequences of these stories are greater than their positive ones.’

A population that believes stories merely because they are useful or warm the heart places expedience toward an end above a commitment to demonstrable truth as a common reference meaningful to all individuals regardless of their religious beliefs. A community that accepts Noble Lying wholeheartedly is likely to drift into gullibility, uncritical of what is told and vulnerable to manipulation. Fear of such an eventual fate lay behind much of Ibn Jawzi’s disapproval of using unreliable Hadiths. In the Baghdad of this day, pious falsehoods drew people down a slippery slope toward damaging asceticism and manipulation by fraudulent Sufi saints and charlatans. Buti shared such worries in the twenty-first century.

It mattered little that the ulama who purveyed unreliable Hadiths claimed they provided ample warning about the dubious authenticity of the reports. Research on consumer opinion and marketing suggests that Ibn Jawzi was prescient in his analogy to circulating fraudulent coins on the market. Studies on how people pass on information or impressions demonstrate that, while attitudes and opinions are primary beliefs that tend to survive communication from person to person intact, the certainty or doubt about those attitudes or opinions tends to be lost along the way.

If one person tells another person, ‘It may be that this car model performs poorly,’ the second person will likely only remember and pass on in turn the impression that ‘This car model performs badly.’ The more stages of transmission there are, the less nuance surveys and the closer what may have originally been a qualified statement comes to being a certainty.

It is tempting to ascribe the absurd credulousness displayed at times in the Muslim world to some feature of Islamic religious culture. In the spring of 2021, for example, as presidential elections loomed in Egypt, Mubarak’s loyal lieutenant Omar Suleiman announced his candidacy, Foreshadowing the dumbfoundingly bloody counter revolution that would grip Egypt a year later, when an interviewer asked Suleiman how he had procured the forty thousand signatures needed to enter the race in a mere twenty-four hours, he replied without the hint of irony, ‘It was a miracle brought about by divine assistance.’ In the summer of 2012, even intelligent and well-informed Egyptians expressed shock at how the Muslim Brotherhood-dominated parliament had proposed a law allowing ‘The Farewell Intercourse’ – a husband would have the right to have sex with his dead wife up to twelve hours after her death. This was, of course, totally untrue. Parliamentary sessions were all televised, and no such proposal occurred (needless to say, the act would also be prohibited by the Shariah).

Ignorance even among the educated, however, is not the monopoly of any one culture. Americans are prone to equally absurd if less prurient conspiracy theories. In 2012, almost four years after he began his term as President of the United States, and despite his weekly church attendance, fully 17 percent of the American electorate believed Barack Obama was Muslim. Yet the pathways of religion are uniquely perilous in their slippery slopes toward gullibility. Societies in which religion pervades and plays a wide-ranging role can find their fabric laced with dangerous naiveté. The willingness to suspend normal rules of disbelief in the case of matters religious comes from the submission to the supernatural that faith and scripture demand. Describing the difference between Homer’s fabrications in his epic poems and the stories of the Bible, Erich Auerbach explains that Homer never requires his audience to believe that any of his fantastic stories of gods intervening crassly in the lives of men are true. In contrast, biblical periscopes like Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac require all involved, from the narrator to the audience to believe in their utmost truth. Scripture does not ‘court us’ with the possibility of historical truth, like Homer. Scriptures ‘seek to subject us.’

So scripture subjugates. While true scripture might do so rightly, apocryphal scripture is a false idol. sometimes an opiate and at other times a tribulation. Unreliable Hadiths can cause harm at numerous levels in society, from facilitating illegitimate violence to masking its true drivers. The testimonials of Muslim suicide bombers regularly cite the Hadith of the Seventy-Two Huris as a motivation or consoling reward. This feeds the Western stereotype of Islam as carnal, venal and backward. Media and viewing publics pay more attention to the now famous seventy-two virgins than they do to the substantive political or socioeconomic injustices that the bombers also mention as an impetus for their actions.

Many times Muslims university students in the United States have expressed to me the confusion and concern they felt after hearing the imam of their mosque quoting their Prophet equating the lightest form of Riba with incest. Sitting in the audience during the Friday-prayer sermon at a prominent African-American mosque in Chicago in 2003, I heard a huff of incredulity from a man seated near me as the imam read out the same Hadith that Shaykh Dafar mentioned about the wondrous, thousand winged, lingua-feathered birds God purportedly creates out of words of praise for Him. In some distant time and place, this Hadith might have motivated Muslims to improve their faith and practice. But not on that day, in Chicago, with that man. For him, the Hadith sounded absurd and chipped away at his confidence in Islam’s scriptural tradition.

Why should that man or any Muslim, suffer even a moment of anxiety due to a Hadith that none of the Ulama has ever labeled anything other than forged? Dubious Hadiths of admonition and encouragement, along with fanciful prophecies of Endtime, once had a place in Islam’s imposing scriptural edifice. In an era characterised by scepticism toward scripture writ large, however, they have become a liability. Even a traditionalist like Kevseri could see the dangers in indulging in the Noble Lie. Those contemporary Muslims who sought to promote or defend Islam with baseless claims and attributions to the Prophet were ‘destroying a garrison to build a hut,’ he warned. 88 Explaining the Hadith of the Rocks and the Jews, Ibn Hajar suggests that the rocks and trees speaking might be figurative – meaning that the Jews will have no place to hide. But, as in the case of the Hadiths of the Seventy-Two Virgins and Riba, why should any interpretive capital be wasted or minds bent in labor to find explanations for what is most likely ersatz scripture?

#Misquoting Muhammad The Challenge and Choices of Interpreting the Prophet's Legacy #Jonathan A.C. BROWN #P.260

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bbarican · 2 years

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life updates: last month of 2021

whats up tumblr? i am back and its been awhile since i posted a life updates master list so i figured why not post one tonight, heck i have so much i wanna get out of my chest and mind, might as well do it now while im resting so without further ado, here's whats been going on lately:

work:

emailed my boss already asking if may company policy ba when it comes to filing for leave in terms of reviewing for the boards and im not surprised na she hasnt replied yet even though its been a weel; shes a super busy i get it, so my senior just advised me to file for leave either way especially since im already decided on taking the board exam regardless

work is okay, mean, its the only thing im busy with right now so there are days where its super hectic but there are days as well where its just really slow so its kind of a nice balance from time to time

freenlance work is going well too! just waiting for my tita's approval for the documents i recently submitted before i can start on the next phase which is the ceiling plan and the elevation (which is yung pinaka madugong part in my opinion when working on the keyplans)

im really happy too that our resort is doing really well kasi kahit papano nakakabawi na kami after the whole the 2 or 3 times na nag ecq yung metro manila and batangas

family:

really really excited for this month kasi ang daming ganap! my dad's birthday is this weekend and my cousins are coming over; sa susunod na weekend, pupunta kami ng bestfriends ko sa resort namin for a much needed mini reunion/getaway; and come christmas day, dito din magcecelebrate mga pinsan ko and my titos and titas so im just really excited

it hasnt been all rainbows and butterflies; there was one day where nagkasagutan kami ng mom ko and it just really made me feel like i still dont belong at all in this family and that our relationship (me and my parents' relationship) changed drastically ever since my brother left for the states

but we're okay now! a part of me is still like on a tightrope, just trying not to fuck anything up especially cause its the holidays, but at the same time another part of me is just trying my best to make everything work out and try my best to be there for my family and make them happy

my mom and her taste in food and the fact that sometimes she doesnt hold back? chef's kiss, muy bien, i love when she's in the mood to cook or buy food cause its always more than enough for the whole family

friends:

not much to say because im lucky enough to be surrounded by people who i dont have to talk to everyday and yet still hold the same energy between us and i really appreciate that with my friends cause they know im 1. super busy and 2. super lazy and the fact that they dont really mind really warms my heart or if they do mind, they tell me up front

personal life:

im currently having another really bad allergy attack and i hate it, my t-zone feels numb, im constantly going dizzy, and buti nalang medyo nawala na yung pagkakati ng lalamunan ko cause coughing just makes my brain throb

i hate it when my room is a mess, i feel like im less productive when there's clutter around me so i have to clean my room asap tomorrow morning or else im just gonna feel really lazy

i really cant wait to save more money; not because i wanna buy more things, its just that im already 23, thats still young for some people, but i really do want to become totally financially independent really soon

another thing i want to work on asap is learning how to drive kasi 1. my parents are never gonna allow me to go anywhere freely with our driver being with me all the time whenever i go out and 2. our family driver wants to retire already so 3. since grab is really fucking expensive and scary during a pandemic, i might as well start learning how to drive

my ig feed is full of stick and poke style tattoos in these really cute and very me type of design and i just know its a sign from the gods telling me to save that money and get a tattoo as soon as i can (and as soon as my parents wont mind anymore)

im craving for sushi and korean food; might consider buying some sa sweldo!

speaking of, i need to buy gifts too this coming sweldo! i just hope everything arrives on time since magbabalot pa ko and everything

tapos i plan on baking pa for a bunch of people so i need to buy ingredients and bake and buy ribbons para cute yung packagaing AAAAAAH my virgo brain is on overdrive and part of me loves it and another part of me hates it 100%

love:

SURPRISE wala pa din

but if theres anyone out there who would want to be my little christmas plot twist, please step on up, that mistletoe is gonna go to waste if we dont end up making out underneath it

so yeah thats basically my life these past few weeks; again if youve made it till the end of this post, thank you for actually taking your time to read what i have to say

i hope everyone is doing okay and i hope the holiday cheer is slowly but surely getting to each and every one of you!

#bbarican #prsnl #thoughts #writings #life #updates #family #love #work #personal #list #recent

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