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namism · 20 days ago

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he's been plotting on you for months (eustass kid)

➳ warnings: cheating, kid is toxic, everything is toxic nsfw (afab reader, photos with consent), dead dove: do not eat

In the many years you've known Eustass Kid, you've come to the conclusion that he's persistent. And through his persistence, whether for the fun of irking you to the core or gaining intel on your relationship with Trafalgar Law, he's learned how easy it is to rile you up.

That's why he's been at it in your DM's since this morning. It started with a simple greeting, which you ignored, but then came another message, and another, and another. Kid hadn't told you what he was annoying you for, but when it got to a point, your fingers betrayed your brain as you hastily sent a response, a cold question of "What the fuck do you want?" which he, ever so predictably, replied to in the speed of light.

That led to your conversation now, as well as the dilemma that befalls you: in the many years you've known Kid, apart from his stubbornness that comes in a package deal with his persistence, you've come to the conclusion that he's into you and possibly even more than that. Kid never kept it a secret that he'd been plotting on you for months on end. In fact, his intentions had always been clear, his objectives as loud as the thumping in your chest whenever he tries anything remotely flirtatious.

He gets in your nerves. That's for sure. And he drives you crazy, which is even truer. The initial consensus with your heart, brain, and conscience was to ghost Kid until he completely fucks off because he isn't (and will never be) good for you, but you eventually find out that he's kinda cool: you know that he likes metal. You know that he's in a band. He has a chick in his arms every two business days and he can pop a bottle of beer open with his teeth. But on the flip side, he has a childish attraction for pirates and was named after a Scottish privateer. He eats homemade cabbage rolls and unexpectedly maintains a healthy diet. Also, his favorite flowers are tulips. Red ones, like his hair.

None of that erases the fact that Kid was and had always been annoying, but none of it is false either. Kid has much more personality than anybody else you've met. Unfortunately, he's just fucking cocky. And he's smitten enough to flash his dick if you ask for it.

Agreeing is your first mistake. Your relationship with Law as of late is in turmoil as a result of a disagreement with his priorities—between you and his job, it seems he has a favorite, so you've spent the last few weeks eating a soulless dinner alone. You don't live together, but Law has always made time to drop by on the way home from the hospital to accompany you eat. Now, everything seems like a fever dream.

Your relationship is almost over. You feel its end at your fingertips. And it's for sure over once Kid sends a bunch of photos with his dick out—huge, trimmed, eight but almost nine inches long—and you feel your mouth water. Your pussy is in a similar state. You squirm in your panties. Your relationship is over.

You spend the next few minutes ogling at Kid on your phone. He was generous tonight, having sent you more than one to ogle at and play your pussy with. But then again, he's always been generous with you. He gives what you ask for. He's always had his eyes on you, always, unlike Law.

A tall man like Kid is expected to have a huge dick, and he does. He's pink and hard in all his photos, his dick slapped against his stomach over a happy trail that leads to a chiseled chest. He's in front of a wall-mounted mirror in one, then laid back on his bed in the other. He's hot. He's always been hot, but your heart was with Law the entire time. As big as Law was, you have to admit that Kid was even bigger, and suddenly, you wonder how it feels to sit on his cock. To ride him. To let him make a mess of your pussy. You wonder how often he fucks other women in his bed and the chances that you would be the next, but when you slip your fingers into your pussy and touch yourself to the thought of him, you have your answer. You will be the next. You will be.

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serpentface · 7 days ago

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UPDATED IMPERIAL WARDIN FOOD POST

(Note that many foods aren’t 1:1 with real world equivalents but will be labeled with their real world equivalent if it’s Basically the same thing in form/taste).

STAPLE DIETARY BASICS:

Maize is the most important staple grain throughout the majority of the region (and much of the northern hemisphere in general). It has been cultivated here for about two thousand years and some wild teosintes are native (can be found on both sides of the Mouth seaway), though it was not domesticated here and Probably originates close to modern-day Bur.

The main maize type grown here is comparable to field corn. It has a taste and texture resembling choclo, being starchy and somewhat chewy (the kernels are not as large though). Most strains are hybridized with wild teosintes, though mostly not by intentional cross breeding. Maize is usually consumed in nixtamalized form using lime. This is habitual, both as a matter of providing better nutrition and better taste, and plain corn tastes a bit unusual to the palate (though is used in some sweet preparations). Corn smut fungus is also intentionally allowed to propagate and is widely eaten, though consumption of fungi is otherwise rare.

Barley is a close second, and has been present in the region longer than maize. The landrace here is particularly hardy and tolerant of poor, dry soils, and it can be grown further from the alluvial soil that maize thrives best in. It has a lower yield compared to maize, however. This strain is a winter barley requiring periods of cold after planting to grow. This makes it valuable as a staple, being potentially the first crop ready in any given year (depending on conditions it might be harvested a few months before maize), though it does not fare well in sustained freezing temperatures and may fail in a bad winter. Some summer barley types are present but grown at a more limited scale; it's unclear whether these represent two separate introductions or a novel mutation.

Two types of yam are widely grown and very important to the diet, referred to as the red yam (regarded as the best in flavor, but more delicate) and the white yam (regarded as poorer, but a significantly hardier crop that can be grown throughout most of the year). Both are mild starchy root vegetables (not sweet potato), though the red yam has a richer flavor and is subtly sweet. Both are cultivars of the same plant, which may have been domesticated in this region.

Lentils and legumes are the other core cultivated part of the diet. Chickpeas and cowpeas are most widely grown, and often comprise the majority of protein in a person’s diet. The mung bean is a relatively recent crop adopted in trade, and is primarily grown in the wetter northwest.

Potentially available grains/fruits/vegetables/etc (regionally varies, not including some misc edible wild greens):

Rice, cabbage, lettuce, onions, garlic, chili peppers, peas, olives, koli (cactus-like fruiting plant), camiche (tree with edible seeds, seedpods, leaves, and flowers), stone pine, dates, anuje palm (produces edible sap), pistachio, figs, nara (lime-like orange citrus), melon (a mildly sweet, cucumbery variant with edible seeds), apples, pomegranates, breadroot (wild plant comparable to prairie turnip), dirruca (similar to an autumn olive), groundcherries, acorns, amaranth, wild mustard, and maga (root vegetable with a potato-y texture and cabbage-y taste).

Of these, cabbage (more specifically a cabbage-esque brassica cultivar, it's a little different), onions, garlic, chilis, olives (mostly in the form of olive oil), camiche, and koli are the most important staples.

Potentially available spices/herbs/flavorings (some native/long-naturalized, many originally obtained via trade and native grown, some exclusively imported):

Cumin, saffron, wild saffron, coriander, thyme, sesame, poppy seeds, sumac, chilis, a couple wild mints and sages, rose, hyssop, turmeric, ginger, and firebug (a small insect that can be dried and crushed to impart red coloration, though imparts very little flavor), bode (an aromatic wild plant used similarly to bay leaf).

Livestock:

Cattle are of utmost importance as livestock. They provide milk, blood, meat, leather, bone, dung for fertilizer and fuel, and labor. Aside from the obvious dairy, blood drawn carefully from live cattle is a common part of the diet (mostly used for sausages and soups), though actual slaughter occurs rarely as cattle are tremendously more valuable alive than dead. Bull testes are eaten fairly frequently as a byproduct of gelding, and are considered superior to those harvested from a slaughtered bull.

Horses produce milk, meat, fertilizer, and textiles. All horse types here show dual-purpose selection for wool and milk, their meat is of secondary importance. Horses are slaughtered more frequently than cattle, however, as they mature more quickly and breed more prolifically (usually giving birth to two foals at a time).

Fowl can be kept for eggs and meat. Domesticated chickens and ducks are widely kept, and the tarne pheasant was first domesticated here. Some wild ducks/geese and ibis are kept in semi-tame contexts to be easily harvested for meat and eggs.

Khait are rarely eaten (or milked for that matter) in the Wardi cultural sphere, though there are no outright proscriptions against their consumption in general. Their main utility is as mounts and beasts of burden, and slaughter is usually an act of desperation or an opportunistic use of an already dying animal.

Among the Wardinae or 'south Wardi' population, the salutachin dog type is kept for meat, which is a matter of minor cultural differences surrounding of taboos against eating animals considered 'scavengers' (a label applied subjectively) or potential maneaters. The name basically means ‘yam dog’, referring to their exclusively vegetarian diet of mostly yams/maize/barley. They're considered a delicacy and eaten mostly for weddings.

Chul aren't kept at very large scales (as they provide little while alive, save for manure) but are still present in many villages as a source of meat that is almost entirely self-sufficient and can essentially be fed on garbage. Scavenger taboos are not applied to their meat in spite of their notable propensity for scavenging (this is at least partly on the basis of them being hoofed animals), though their meat isn't particularly favored either (outside of just-weaned calves, which are considered delicious).

Beekeeping is a common practice, often as an extension of fruit farming. Bees are kept in clay pot hives and mostly utilized for honey and wax. Bee larvae are sometimes eaten after honey is harvested, but are but considered to be a 'peasant food'. Insects are otherwise extremely rare in the diet and only tend to be eaten out of desperation, though it's common to get some minor victories out of destructive locust swarms by eating them (still considered peasant food).

Alcohol:

The techniques for distillation are not present here, though alcohol content derived from high-sugar ferments can get fairly high. Most alcohol is fermented with naturally occurring wild yeasts and fungus on the surface of the fruits/grain rather than actively introduced yeasts, thus can produce highly variable results from batch to batch.

-Wine is consumed mixed on a near-daily basis, usually with water (though more fancy preparations may use rosewater or un-fermented fruit juice). Consumption of unmixed wine is usually reserved for semi-special occasions. Grapes are not grown here and all wines derive from other fruits, with date wine being the basic standard. Other fruit wines are common (kolis fruit being most popular and practical), and wines based on the fermentation of camiche flowers (with dried dates or honey to supplement) are traditional and part of mid-spring holidays. Most vinegars are made from further fermentation of wine.

-Grain-based ales made with barley are most common, though maize (or a combination of the two) is also utilized, as are a few wild grass seeds. The traditional ale style here uses malted grains which are dried before fermentation, with higher quality ales being dried and smoked over wood (camiche, apple, and oak being 'best quality'). A distinction is made between 'smoked ales' (selectively wood-smoked), 'dung ales' (refers to malts dried (not smoked) over standard dung fuel fires, though is sometimes a tongue in cheek description for any low-quality/cheaply made ale), and sun ales (sun-dried malts).

-Mead tends to be the highest ABV beverage consumed recreationally. The style of honey harvest introduces beeswax/bees/larvae into the ferment, which can result in a higher alcohol yield (due to the wax floating to the top and creating a more anaerobic environment late in fermentation). Mead is generally consumed watered down like wine, sometimes with milk/whey and often spiced. The same word is sometimes used to describe alcoholic beverages made with anuje palm syrup (usually distinguished as 'mead' and 'anuje mead'), though the two forms vary in taste substantially.

-Amenwematse: A special high ABV mead-ish drink made by fermenting maize, loads of honey, and a paste of boiled herbs + tobacco. It's considered essentially different from other alcoholic drinks via its ritualized production, and its consumption is reserved exclusively for religious purposes. It is used to assist in inducing trance states/gaining mental fortitude (and lowering inhibitions) for rites, particularly in cases in which one must be transformed (such as Odonii or Etadinii taking on the aspects of animals) and/or must undergo a harrowing task (such as being a teenage bullfighter who needs to bring down a wild bull aurochs with a small knife, and knows dying in the process is considered an acceptable outcome). It is intended to produce a mild altered state without actually dulling the mind or becoming inebriated (it's forbidden for non-ceremonial use and tastes pretty damn bad anyway, if you want to get plastered you just drink plain old unmixed mead or wine).

Fishing:

Most of the contemporary sedentary population is clustered around the coasts and rivers, and fish may provide most dietary protein in these contexts. Oily fish tend to be favored over whitefish overall, though the latter are preferred for soups. Shellfish are widely harvested and may play a major role in coastal commoner diets; they tend to be considered a low class food but lack the stigma of 'peasant/famine foods'. Spearhunting large marine reptiles is done by some coastal communities on a subsistence basis, but has no major industry surrounding it. Adult yotici (known to be kinda freaky and smart but not known to be sapient beings) are sometimes spearfished, though are among fish eaten with caution due to a potential for ciguatera poisoning.

Hunting:

Sport hunting is a pastime for nobility, but subsistence hunting is often important to the diet of inland pastoralists and is an opportunistic source of meat for agricultural peasants who will very rarely get to eat their own livestock.

Hare, rabbit, several gamebirds, gazelle, aurochs, buffalo, anara (semiquatic rodent), and nechoi (piglike animal) are the most common targets. Crocodiles tend to be culturally exempt from food taboos around eating maneaters (in spite of killing and eating the most humans of any predator by a LONG SHOT; these taboos mostly apply to non-hoofed mammals and birds, or to singular animals known or suspected to have actually eaten a person) and are often actively hunted for food and to reduce populations near settlements. A type of softshell turtle and a couple species of snakes are considered delicacies.

Preparations:

Meat:

Most meats are smoked and salted, though largely as a matter of practicality for preservation rather than taste (fresh meats are generally preferred when possible). There is an overall cultural revulsion towards consuming raw meat/fish, though consumption of some raw seafood is common in Wardinized Jazaiti subcultures and in Erubinnos (the latter owing to the practice being brought by Yuroma-speaking migrants). Most organ meats are readily consumed, with the liver in particular being seen as a delicacy among most animals. Meat from the head (including brain and tongue), shanks, and feet of an animal gets 'offal' status and is considered peasant food (often quite literally, being the share allotted to peasants after slaughter). Taboos exist against eating the heart of any animal outside of very specific ritual purposes; this organ is expected to be respectfully discarded (doing so appeases the animal's spirit, not doing so can get you cursed by it).

Swallows:

Swallows are a dietary staple and essentially used as utensils. They’re composed of cooked grains/starches that have been strained of most liquid, pounded into a soft doughy texture, and shaped into balls. These are served with most meals and used to scoop up food by hand, and are usually unseasoned. Most swallows are made from yams, though maga, thick mashes of cooked grain, beans, or a mix of ingredients are also used opportunistically.

Bread:

Most breads are unleavened flatbread. A very simple maize flatbread is shaped into small, thick discs and fried in oil (olive or sesame) and eaten on its own or with other meal components placed atop it (this is common as a street food in urban settings). A type of very large barley flatbread is made from dough mixed with olive oil or rendered fat and cooked on a griddle (usually a stone) and usually used as a food delivery mechanism in group settings, with pieces being torn off to scoop up the rest of a meal. Higher quality leavened breads are made by actively acquiring yeast via soaking bran in wine, but in practice barley dough is often just allowed to sit out and leaven naturally via airborne+its own yeasts.

Non-dairy/alcohol ferments:

-Peledyo: fish sauce made by fermenting partial/whole fish bodies with salt and water (usually at a ratio of 25% salt 75% fish). Similar sauces made with oysters/shrimp/etc are also referred to as peledyo (if maybe specified as 'oyster peledyo' or etc). The most ancient _ traditional form is made with freshwater fish and has a distinct flavor from that made with oily marine fishes, though the former is mostly homemade and the latter is mass produced. This is a dietary staple and often used in favor of salt alone to season dishes and sauces.

-The solid portion of the peledyo ferment is also consumed, usually as the base of a meal rather than as a seasoning. It is mostly eaten as a porridge stirred with grain, or worked into a soup. This fish paste is traditionally colored red via firebug, and will have a whitish-grayish color on its own that is considered a bit unpleasant.

-One food item is made from mashed cooked grains that have been fermented in whey, shaped into little balls, and dried. These are most commonly eaten in soups or on their own as snacks, and have a strong cheesy-umami flavor.

-Wainyotago: a fermentation of maize or barley dough that is usually eaten as a porridge, sometimes on its own or as a swallow. The name itself literally derives from 'rotten barley', though is applied to maize doughs as well (and is not technically rotten).

-Bean paste: a fermentation of beans (chickpeas or cowpeas), often mixed with sesame or melon seeds. It's kept as a more preservable form of cooked beans and often eaten on bread, and considered somewhat of an acquired taste (often very strongly flavored and a little slimy).

-Corn sauce: a dark salty sauce made from fermented maize, similar in taste to soy sauce. This is a staple in the Burri sphere and less regularly consumed here (where peledyo is generally preferred for salt+umami flavoring), though is more common deep inland where fish sauces are less accessible.

Dairy

Dairy is massively important to the diet, and rates of lactose intolerance are low in populations native here. Most people eat dairy products on a daily basis. It is usually consumed in more preservable states as yogurts, kefir, and cheeses, though plain raw milk is used for drinks and is the absolute standard offering of libation in religious practice.

Cheese: Several styles of cheese are made, mostly from the milk of cattle (horsemilk is less favored for cheese (though its easier to produce cheese with it than the milk of irl horses)). A simple paneer type cheese is made with cow or horsemilk curdled with an acid (vinegar or nara fruit is most common), which is often eaten in soups. A soft cow milk rennet cheese is eaten similarly, most notably as a big glob in the middle of a pepper/onion soup. Hard cheeses are less favored overall, though are still produced for their preservability (often mixed with herbs). Moldy cheeses (with the exception of the rind) are culturally considered to be repugnant.

Kefir: forms of kefir appear to have developed independently west of the Blackmane mountains and are an ancient part of the diet. It's especially favored in the winter, when the weather may be cold enough to allow it to chill before consumption. It is usually fermented overnight in skin bags and served as a drink in several styles, sweetened with honey or anuje, salted, or spiced. A horsemilk variant is slightly preferred over cow milk for its stronger taste, and has a (very low) alcohol content due to the milk's larger quantity of sugars.

Yogurt: a type of yogurt-like ferment is usually made from cow milk. It is eaten as-is, or further strained and salted for a more preservable product, or alternatively churned to produce butter (this is a rare practice). It is rarely eaten on its own and is mostly used as a base for sauces. The most standard form of spicy sauce in Wardi cuisine is a mix of yogurt, cumin, garlic, and chilis (of varying capsaicin content), often colored red or gold with firebug/saffron and sometimes acidified with vinegar or nara juice.

DINING:

Most meals are eaten by hand, and spoons are the only utensils used (and even then mostly used for the process of cooking; soups are typically sipped from the bowl). Full meals are taken seated on the floor around low-lying tables from which the food is served, while informal snacking and drinking is done seated on chairs or couches. Small basins of water are used to rinse the hands as needed throughout the meal.

There are two formal mealtimes in a given day, being a breakfast and dinner (anything in between is snacking). These are ideally social occasions and should be held with every member of the household present. Both will be fairly substantial meals, with dinners being the largest. There is no hard distinction between 'breakfast foods' and 'dinner foods', though the accompaniments are distinct, with breakfasts usually being taken with kefir or tea and dinner being taken with wine. Sweets or fruits are usually eaten between savory courses in fancier meals, though for the average person (who does not regularly experience multi-course meals) they're usually served alongside dinner or as midday snacks. Dinners are often had fairly late (~7-8pm) and intended to be the closing part of each day, to be held after one has finished all work and bathed and just before going to bed.

A full meal will usually be placed in the center of the table. At the most basic, it will generally consist of a main dish, swallows or bread to eat it with, and mixed wine (just water if times are tough). In a household setting, the male head of house is served first, followed by his wife, followed by any sons/other men and then daughters/other women (this too going by generation). If guests are present, etiquette requires the hosts to serve them first, but for the guests to not start eating until the head of household has taken his first bite. It's customary to save some of your swallow/bread for last so that you can scoop up any remaining sauce from your plate, as it's somewhat rude to leave one's plate unclean (especially as a guest). When possible, pipe with tobacco or broülje is often passed around to everyone present after dinner (in part considered to aid in digestion).

#some lore has changed since the last one. Big one is that my previous conceit that beekeeping is rare here is weird given that I #had also established honey being really important to medicine and basically every society surrounding this one does a little beekeeping

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marshmallowgoop · 5 months ago

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Yoshio Urasawa AMV MEP Sign-Ups!

I'm hosting a weirdly specific Detective Conan MEP (Multi-Editor Project)—one focused on the eleven episodes written by Yoshio Urasawa, set to YUNGBLUD's "weird!"

If you don't recognize the name Yoshio Urasawa, you might recognize another: Smile Village. Urasawa is a Conan screenwriter known for penning the wackiest, most outrageous scripts, like "Intrigue at Smile Village" (Episode 997) and "The Genius Restaurant" (Episode 1,089). This is a MEP to celebrate these oddities, with one part per Urasawa episode!

All oddities in question:

Episode 943: "Tokyo Barls Collection" (cabbage core)

Episode 955: "The Secret of the Insect Man" (bug outfits)

Episode 976: "Follow Them! Detective Taxi" (armadillo)

Episode 997: "Intrigue at Smile Village" (does it need explaining)

Episode 1,010: "The Idol Whose Smile Disappeared" (dine and dash)

Episode 1,028: "Ballad of the Woman Who Loved Cake" (drowning in red bean paste)

Episode 1,057: "Bad Guys" (they really want to throw Conan off a roof)

Episode 1,067: "The Shopping Center In Love" (wrestling)

Episode 1,089: "The Genius Restaurant" (candy is for babies)

Episode 1,119: "The Four-Person Class Reunion" (host clubs are serious business)

Episode 1,126: "The Detective Who Lost His Mind" (most normal Urasawa episode)

How It Works

Open to editors of all levels!

As stated, each part will focus on one of Urasawa's episodes. While bringing in other sources from the anime or manga is permitted, the majority of each part should be the one Urasawa episode.

No style guidelines or color scheme! The only guideline is to be weird!

Please render your part in 29.97 FPS. If using Sony Vegas, please disable resample.

There is no preference on file format.

If possible, leave at least 15 extra frames at the end of your part for transition purposes.

The final MEP will be posted to this Tumblr and my YouTube channel. There will be optional subtitles on the YouTube upload, but the Tumblr upload will be hardsubbed with stylized subs like this sign-up video (though they're subject to change). Subtitles will be positioned to not cover up any editor's typography.

Deadline is 23 March

Sign-ups will remain open until 23 February. Any unclaimed parts will then be claimed by me and/or anyone interested in editing more than one part.

Sign-Ups

A sign-up form can be found here! Or, if you prefer, let me know the following in a comment/message/ask/etc.:

The episode and part you'd like to edit with

Would you be interested in editing more than one part?

Current parts under the cut!

Parts

Intro: Fake Name Part 1: Conan Ray Graves! - Episode 955: "The Secret of the Insect Man" Part 2: Jecka1021 - Episode 1,089: "The Genius Restaurant" Part 3: dipndops - Episode 1,010: "The Idol Whose Smile Disappeared" Part 4: Kava Plays - Episode 997: "Intrigue at Smile Village" Part 5: MarshmallowGoop - Episode 1,126: "The Detective Who Lost His Mind" + Episode 1,155: "Follow Them! Detective Taxi 2" Part 6: Jecka1021 - Episode 1,119: "The Four-Person Class Reunion" Part 7: Caliowl 333 AMVs - Episode 1,028: "Ballad of the Woman Who Loved Cake" Part 8: MarshmallowGoop - Episode 1,067: "The Shopping Center In Love" Part 9: dipndops - Episode 976: "Follow Them! Detective Taxi" Part 10: Liz Winchester - Episode 1,057: "Bad Guys" Part 11: MarshmallowGoop - Episode 943: "Tokyo Barls Collection"

#detective conan #case closed #yoshio urasawa #video #eye strain #amv #mep #finally getting this up after ten years!#i've been wanting to make this mep for ages #it's so super specific #and the timeline is tighter than i wanted; i meant to post this sign-up a *month* ago #so i'm fully prepared to edit the majority of this myself #but i thought i'd open it up in case anyone else is interested!#really mean it that editors of all levels are welcome #even if you've never edited an amv before!#meps are good places to start because the parts are so short #all materials can be provided for this btw and if anyone is looking for a program #i use davinci resolve free version and it's very powerful! and free!#in any case i hope if anyone joins that they have fun with this!!

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najia-cooks · 1 year ago

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[ID: A circle of overlapping semi-circular bright pink pickles arranged on a plate, viewed from a low angle. End ID]

مخلل اللفت / Mukhallal al-lifit (Pickled turnips)

The word "مُخَلَّل" ("mukhallal") is derived from the verb "خَلَّلَ"‎ ("khallala"), meaning "to preserve in vinegar." "Lifit" (with diacritics, Levantine pronunciation: "لِفِتْ"), "turnip," comes from the root "ل ف ت‎", which produces words relating to being crooked, turning aside, and twisting (such as "لَفَتَ" "lafata," "to twist, to wring"). This root was being used to produce a word meaning "turnip" ("لِفْتْ" "lift") by the 1000s AD, perhaps because turnips must be twisted or wrung out of the ground.

Pickling as a method of preserving produce so that it can be eaten out of season is of ancient origin. In the modern-day Levant, pickles (called "طَرَاشِيّ‎" "ṭarāshiyy"; singular "طُرْشِيّ" "ṭurshiyy") make up an important culinary category: peppers, carrot, olives, eggplant, cucumber, cabbage, cauliflower, and lemons are preserved with vinegar or brine for later consumption.

Pickled turnips are perhaps the most commonly consumed pickles in the Levant. They are traditionally prepared during the turnip harvest in the winter; in the early spring, once they have finished their slow fermentation, they may be added to appetizer spreads, served as a side with breakfast, lunch, or dinner, eaten on their own as a snack, or used to add pungency to salads, sandwiches, and wraps (such as shawarma or falafel). Tarashiyy are especially popular among Muslim Palestinians during the holy month of رَمَضَان (Ramaḍān), when they are considered a must-have on the إِفْطَار ("ʔifṭār"; fast-breaking meal) table. Pickle vendors and factories will often hire additional workers in the time leading up to Ramadan in order to keep up with increased demand.

In its simplest instantiation, mukhallal al-lifit combines turnips, beetroot (for color), water, salt, and time: a process of anaerobic lacto-fermentation produces a deep transformation in flavor and a sour, earthy, tender-crisp pickle. Some recipes instead pickle the turnips in vinegar, which produces a sharp, acidic taste. A pink dye (صِبْغَة مُخَلَّل زَهْرِي‎; "ṣibgha mukhallal zahri") may be added to improve the color. Palestinian recipes in particular sometimes call for garlic and green chili peppers. This recipe is for a "slow pickle" made with brine: thick slices of turnip are fermented at room temperature for about three weeks to produce a tangy, slightly bitter pickle with astringency and zest reminiscent of horseradish.

Turnips are a widely cultivated crop in Palestine, but, though they make a very popular pickle, they are seldom consumed fresh. One Palestinian dish, mostly prepared in Hebron, that does not call for their fermentation is مُحَشّي لِفِتْ ("muḥashshi lifit")—turnips that are cored, fried, and stuffed with a filling made from ground meat, rice, tomato, and sumac or tamarind. In Nablus, tahina and lemon juice may be added to the meat and rice. A similar dish exists in Jordan.

Turnips produced in the West Bank are typically planted in open fields (as opposed to in or under structures such as plastic tunnels) in November and harvested in February, making them a fall/winter crop. Because most of them are irrigated (rather than rain-fed), their yield is severely limited by the Israeli military's siphoning off of water from Palestine's natural aquifers to settlers and their farms.

Israeli military order 92, issued on August 15th, 1967 (just two months after the order by which Israel had claimed full military, legislative, executive, and judicial control of the West Bank on June 7th), placed all authority over water resources in the hands of an Israeli official. Military order 158, issued on November 19th of the same year, declared that no one could establish, own, or administer any water extraction or processing construction (such as wells, water purification plants, or rainwater collecting cisterns) without a new permit. Water infrastructure could be searched for, confiscated, or destroyed at will of the Israeli military. This order de facto forbid Palestinians from owning or constructing any new water infrastructure, since anyone could be denied a permit without reason; to date, no West Bank Palestinian has ever been granted a permit to construct a well to collect water from an aquifer.

Nearly 30 years later, the Interim Agreement on the West Bank and the Gaza Strip (also called the Oslo II Accord or the Taba Agreement), signed by Israel and the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) in 1995, officially granted Israel the full control over water resources in occupied Palestine that it had earlier claimed. The Argreement divided the West Bank into regions of three types—A, B, and C—with Israel given control of Area C, and the Palestinian Authority (PA) supposedly having full administrative power over Area A (about 3% of the West Bank at the time).

In fact, per article 40 of Annex 3, the PA was only allowed to administer water distribution in Area A, so long as their water usage did not exceed what had been allocated to them in the 1993 Oslo Accord, a mere 15% of the total water supply: they had no administrative control over water resources, all of which were owned and administered by Israel. This interim agreement was to be returned to in permanent status negotiations which never occurred.

The cumulative effect of these resolutions is that Palestinians have no independent access to water: they are forbidden to collect water from underground aquifers, the Jordan River, freshwater springs, or rainfall. They are, by law and by design, fully reliant on Israel's grid, which distributes water very unevenly; a 2023 report estimated that Israeli settlers (in "Israel" and in the occupied West Bank) used 3 times as much water as Palestinians. Oslo II estimations of Palestinians' water needs were set at a static number of million cubic meters (mcm), rather than an amount of water per person, and this number has been adhered to despite subsequent growth in the Palestinian population.

Palestinians who are connected to the Israeli grid may open their taps only to find them dry (for as long as a month at a time, in بَيْت لَحْم "bayt laḥm"; Bethlehem, and الخَلِيل "al-khalīl"; Hebron). Families rush to complete chores that require water the moment they discover the taps are running. Those in rural areas rely on cisterns and wells that they are forbidden to deepen; new wells and reservoirs that they build are demolished in the hundreds by the Israeli military. Water deficits must be made up by paying steep prices for additional tankards of water, both through clandestine networks and from Israel itself. As climate change makes summers hotter and longer, the crisis worsens.

By contrast, Israeli settlers use water at will. Israel, as the sole authority over water resources, has the power to transfer water between aquifers; in practice, it uses this authority to divert water from the Jordan River basin, subterranean aquifers, and بُحَيْرَة طَبَرِيَّا ("buḥayrat ṭabariyyā"; Lake Tiberias) into its national water carrier (built in 1964), and from there to other regions, including the Negev Desert (south of the West Bank) and settlements within the West Bank.

Whenever Israel annexes new land, settlers there are rapidly given access to water; the PA, however, is forbidden to transport water from one area of the West Bank to another. Israel's control over water resources is an important part of the settler colonial project, as access to water greatly influences the desirability of land and the expected profit to be gained through its agricultural exports.

The result of the diversion of water is to increase the salinity of the Eastern Aquifer (in the West Bank, on the east bank of the Jordan River) and the remainder of the Jordan that flows into the West Bank, reducing the water's suitability for drinking and irrigation; in addition, natural springs and wells in Palestine have run dry. In this environment, water for drinking and watering crops and livestock is given priority, and many Palestinians struggle to access enough water to shower or wash clothing regularly. In extreme circumstances, crops may be left for dead, as Palestinian farmers instead seek out jobs tending Israeli fields.

Some areas in Palestine are worse off in this regard than others. Though water can be produced more easily in the قَلْقِيلية (Qalqilya), طُولْكَرْم (Tulkarm) and أَرِيحَا ("ʔarīḥā"; Jericho) Districts than in others, the PA is not permitted to transfer water from these areas to areas where water is scarcer, such as the Bethlehem and Al-Khalil Districts. In Al-Khalil, where almost a third of Palestinian acreage devoted to turnips is located [1], and where farming families such as the Jabars cultivate them for market, water usage averaged just 51 liters per person per day in 2020—compare this to the West Bank Palestinian average of 82.4 liters, the WHO recommended daily minimum of 100 liters, and the Israeli average of 247 liters per person per day.

As Israeli settlement גִּבְעַת חַרְסִינָה (Givat Harsina) encroached on Al-Khalil in 2001, with a subdivision being built over the bulldozed Jabar orchard, the Jabars reported settlers breaking their windows, destroying their garden, throwing rocks, and holding rallies on the road leading to their house. In 2010, with the growth of the קִרְיַת־אַרְבַּע (Kiryat Arba) settlement (officially the parent settlement of Givat Harsina), the Jabars' entire irrigation system was repeatedly torn out, with the justification that they were stealing water from the Israeli water authority; the destruction continued into 2014. Efforts at connecting and expanding Israeli settlements in the Bethlehem area continue to this day.

Thus we can see that water deprivation is one tool among many used to drive Palestinians from their land; and that it is connected to a strategy of rendering agriculture impossible or unprofitable for them, forcing them into a state of dependence on the Israeli economy.

Turnips, as well as cabbage and chili peppers, are also grown in the village of وَادِي فُوقِين (Wadi Fuqin), west of Bethlehem. In 2014, Israel annexed about 1,250 acres of land in Wadi Fuqin, or a third of the village's land, "effectively [ruling] out development of the village and its use of this land for agriculture." Most of this land lies immediately to the west of a group of settlements Israel calls גּוּשׁ עֶצְיוֹן ("Gush Etzion"; Etzion Bloc). Building here would link several non-contiguous Israeli settlements with each other and with القدس (Al-Quds; "Jerusalem"), hemming Palestinians of the region in on all sides (many main roads through Israeli settlements cannot be used by anyone with a Palestinian ID). [2] PLO executive committee member Hanan Ashrawi said that the annexation, which was carried out "[u]nder the cover of [Israel's] latest campaign of aggression in Gaza," "represent[ed] Israel’s deliberate intent to wipe out any Palestinian presence on the land".

This, of course, was not the beginning of this strategy: untreated sewage from Gush Etzion settlements had been contaminating crops, springs, and groundwater in Wadi Fuqin since 2006, which also saw nearly 100 acres of Palestinian land annexed to allow for expansion of the Etzion Bloc.

All of this has obviously had an effect on Palestinian agriculture. A 1945–6 British survey of vegetable production in Palestine found that 992 dunums were devoted to Arab turnip production (954 irrigated and 38 rain-fed; no turnip production was attributed to Jewish settlers). A March 1948 UN report claimed that "[i]n most districts the markets are well-supplied with all the common winter vegetables—cabbages, cauliflowers, lettuce and spinach; carrots, turnips and and beets; beans and peas; green onions, eggplants, marrows and tomatoes." By 2009, however, the area given to turnips in Palestine had fallen to 918 dunums. Of these, 864 dunums were irrigated and 54 rain-fed. This represents an increase in unirrigated turnips (5.8%, up from 3.9%) that is perhaps related to difficulty in obtaining sufficient water.

Meanwhile, Israel profits from its restriction of Palestinian agriculture; it is the largest exporter of turnips in West Asia (I found no data for turnip exports from Palestine after 1922, suggesting that the produce is all for local consumption).

The pattern that Ashrawi called out in 2014 continued in 2023, as Israel's genocide in Gaza occurs alongside the continued and escalating killing and expulsion of West Bank Palestinians. The 2014 annexations, which represented the largest land grab for over 30 years and which appeared to institute a new era of state policy, have been followed up in subsequent years with more land claims and settlement-building.

Israeli military and settler raids and massacres in the West Bank, which had already killed 248 in 2023 before the حَمَاس (Hamas) October 7 offensive had taken place, accelerated after the attack, with forced expulsions of Palestinians (including Bedouin Arabs), and harassment, raids, kidnappings, and torture of Palestinians by a military armed with rifles, tanks, and drones. This violence has been opposed by armed resistance groups, who defend refugee camps from military raids with strategies including the use of improvised explosives.

Support Palestinian resistance by buying an e-sim for distribution in Gaza; donating to help two Gazans receive medical care; or donating to help a family leave Gaza.

[1] 918 dunums were devoted to turnips according to the Palestinian Central Bureau of Statistics (PCBS) report for 2009; the 2008 PCBS report attributes 253 dunums of turnip cultivation to Al-Khalil ("Hebron") for 2006–7.

[2] Today, Gush Etzion is connected to Al-Quds by an underground road that runs beneath the Palestinian Christian town of بَيتْ جَالَا (Bayt Jala).

Ingredients:

Makes 2 1-liter mason jars.

500g (4 medium) turnips

1 beetroot

1 medium green chili pepper (فلفل حار خضرة), halved

2 small cloves garlic, peeled

1 liter (4 cups) distilled or filtered water

25g coarse sea salt (or substitute an equivalent weight of any salt without iodine)

Some brining recipes for lifit call for the addition of a spoonful of sugar. This will increase the activity of lactic-acid-producing bacteria at the beginning of the fermentation, producing a quicker fermentation and a different, sourer flavor profile.

Instructions:

1. Clean two large mason jars thoroughly in hot water (there is no need to sterilize them).

2. Scrub vegetables thoroughly. Cut the top (root) and bottom off of each turnip. Cut each turnip in half (from root end to bottom), and then in 1 cm (1/2") slices (perpendicular to the last cut). Prepare the beetroot the same way.

If you need your pickles to be finished sooner, cut the turnips into thinner slices, or into thick (1/2") baton shapes; these will need to be fermented for about a week.

3. Arrange turnip and beet slices so that they lie flat in your jars. Add garlic and peppers.

4. Whisk salt into water until dissolved and pour over the turnips until they are fully submerged. Seal with the jar's lid and leave in a cool place, or the refrigerator, for 20–24 days.

The amount of brine that you will need to cover the top of the vegetables will depend on the shape of your jar. If you add more water, make sure that you add more salt in the same ratio.

#Palestinian #pickles #turnips #beets #gluten free #long post /#tarashiyy

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ma1dita · 8 months ago

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zuko, give em pumpkins to talk about, chocolate bar. please im beggin actually

runnin' with the devil

[STARRING: PRINCE ZUKO x reader “Really? Now? God, you have terrible timing.”] wc: 1.1k warnings: none. erm allusions of kidnapping and kinda stockholm syndrome, this is pre-character development baldheaded ass zuko so he’s a jerk… yandere? no he’s just a dick. this ended up fluffy

monster mash-terlist

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

There’s a part of you that likes it.

The catch and release— running from him gives you an adrenaline rush you can’t explain. It’s been almost three years of this— a predator chasing after his prey but still he hasn’t killed you, if that’s any consolation. People have been thrown overboard or blasted into ashes for less—loyalty is important to the Fire Nation after all, especially with the forgotten prince.

Some values are instilled so deeply within a person’s core that it’s difficult to break free.

But you find yourself not wanting to as he chases you for an nth time, on this occasion, through the underbrush of Kyoshi Island. Flames lick at your heels as you push forward, your calves burning in exertion. You could’ve sworn he already left to chase the Gaang before you made a break for it—but if they didn’t know Zuko and the 41st were here already, well… the wildfire spreading through the village should be proof enough.

“Stop running!” the prince roars, and the two of you barrel past townsfolk who scream and run in different directions, anywhere to be away from the both of you. None of them fought back of course—neutrality was the island’s selling point, a reprieve from the Hundred Years’ War. But they were kind enough; pretty girls with painted faces and fists of steel trying to determine if you were friend or foe as you slipped off the boat to search for new shoes from a nearby market. You didn’t suit any of the military-issued gear on board, often having to get crafty or sneak away for personal necessities. The Kyoshi Warriors only intended to protect their own, releasing you from your restraints after they realized you were but a lost girl with no escape plan.

Or was it no plans to escape?

“Then stop chasing me!” you yell back, hair whipping in different directions as you look back at his angry face and then—CRASH!

Headfirst into a cabbage cart with an old man groveling at finding his produce in the dirt, you lay there with your vision spinning until all you can see is him. Zuko stands over you with an incessant glare on his scarred face, “Get up.” His hand reaches for your tunic and you flinch, before he grabs you by the scruff like a yowling puppy, watching you kick and scream for dear life.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Jeez, hothead—you think anyone in their right mind won’t start running if flames are shooting past them?” Your arms are crossed as he sets you down, a warm hand still pressed on the nape of your neck as if he expects you to change your mind.

“I just wanted new shoes. Spirits know running from you has worn mine through.”

It’s kind of annoying to him that even when you’re mad at him like this, he can’t find it in himself to give a damn. You look petulant, glaring at him through your lashes and he knows if you were actually useful—you’d probably shoot lasers out your eyes.

But you can’t, much like how he can’t be without you. This arrangement of convenience is something he can’t live without—even if Iroh tries to make him admit it. You were the last gift to him from his father, after all.

A gift should be treasured. This one just likes to make him work for it.

“You could’ve asked me. You’re not my only problem, you know!”

And then you’re smirking, like you know that even if that’s true—boy were you his favorite one to deal with. Every single time he leaves to ‘catch’ the Avatar, he also leaves an opening for you to set yourself free. Whether it be a door left ajar or Iroh whistling and swinging the keys off his fingers, you wonder why a skilled tactician like him always gives you an option.

Maybe it’s because he knows you don’t want to leave him. Maybe that’s his secret hope.

Wind blows overhead as Appa and the Gaang arrive to protect the island that only protects their own. Thinking about it from a broader perspective, you can see the appeal of the villagers and why they do so. Zuko cares for you too, in his own convoluted, disorganized way.

So maybe, you should’ve warned Zuko about the Kyoshi Warriors. But it’s kind of funny to watch his ass get kicked once in a while, especially since it’s hilarious to see him so mad every time it happens. You and the crew are soaked to the bone after the battle, teeth chattering as the unagi douses the flames that dance around the livelihood of the island until there is nothing left but char and smoke. The 41st runs up the ramp, preparing to set sail for the South Sea, and your feet are sinking in the sand.

Here’s your chance—you look back to the destroyed forest and for a moment, you wonder if you should disappear into the distance that separates you from that boat. Maybe become a warrior yourself, or live in the simplicity that comes with being nothing but a memory.

“Your highness! We need to go!”

Zuko’s standing on the deck, staring at you. He’s not saying anything, nor does he need to—your feet make the steps back to him before your mind can make the decision.

It’s easier to choose a familiar hell instead of an unknown heaven.

Iroh smiles at you softly, patting you on the head as you walk past him; he hands you a warm towel to wipe your feet. You wash away the dirt and grime of the day as you watch the setting sun, staring off towards the horizon.

A pair of new embroidered shoes knock against your ankle, bouncing against the wooden floors. They’re your size, and nicer than anything you’ve ever known. Zuko stands against the railing, pretending to not see his uncle’s shit-eating grin.

He protects his own, and by extension, what he can admit—-is that includes you.

If this is the part in the story where you get your supporting character development arc to change the tides of fate, you surely hope defeating Firelord Ozai won’t be affected by kissing the cheek of his exiled son.

“Did you steal these?” You tsk, holding them by the tips of your fingers and nudging him, his face steaming from a featherlike touch that if he thinks hard enough, he’s not sure if it happened. Zuko doesn’t know how to handle affection—so he does what you two both do best—chase and catch. And run his mouth.

“Really? You know, we wouldn’t be in this situation if you didn’t have terrible timing,” he rattles off, getting angrier as you walk away, miming him blabbering as you skip around the ship in your new shoes.

In all senses of the word, you’re already his.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

ma1dita's monster mash is closed for requests but ongoing for the rest of october!

#ma1dita's monster mash 𓉸ྀི #made by ma1dita ♥︎#zuko x reader #atla x reader #promptober #avatar the last airbender #prince zuko #zuko fanfic

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weirdmarioenemies · 10 months ago

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Name: Kernel-pult

Debut: Plants vs. Zombies

Here we have my favorite plant of the original Plants vs. Zombies, the humble Kernel-pult! Out of my favorite PvZ plants, this one feels by far the most Classic. It doesn't fly, it doesn't have otherworldy abilities, and it's not a dang fungus. It's a corn cob that lobs corn kernels. Even the lobbing feels sort of mundane! Such a simple way to get a projectile somewhere else. It feels less fantastical than pods bursting and releasing seeds, and that one happens in real life! However, it is important to mention that Kernel-pult is not vegan.

Kernel-Pult typically lobs kernels that do a little bit of damage, just as much as a pea, and it attacks at half the rate of a Peashooter. It makes up for this with Butter! It has a 25% chance to lob a pat of butter instead. This is because butter is good on corn, and I guess as a result of that, the universal concepts of Corn and Butter are intertwined enough that Kernel-pult can tap into both.

Butter does twice as much damage as a kernel, but better than that, it freezes whatever zombie it hits in place for a bit! I don't know why it does that. I can't think of any reason why butter would, thematically, freeze something. But it makes Kernel-pult happy, so you'd better deal with it! Kernel-pult is thusly good as a support attacker who can slow down the approach of zombies, allowing stronger plants to damage them more. OR, you could choose Funny over Reliable, and do what I do! Nothing against Cabbage-pult, but I love Kernel-pult so much, I like to use it as my primary attacker! Good luck, me!

Butter would prove to be a very popular game mechanic, being applied to many non-corn plants in the future, purely based on wordplay. Very respectable. In PvZ2, it actually gained another ability: it will instantly defeat flying zombie birds! See, THAT makes sense. There's the realism, in Plants vs. Zombies.

Oh?

A few plants in this game have upgraded forms that can be planted on top of them, usually enhancing that plant's core concept. Kernel-pult has one, but not just ANY one. A maize so massive that you need to merge TWO Kernel-pults to form it! No mere upgrade like most of the rest, but an entire, new behemoth of a plant!

This is Cob Cannon, the most expensive, but most powerful plant in the game! Once planted, it can be used to manually fire devastating corn cob missiles wherever you please, with the power of a Cherry Bomb, but the ability to reload! And also a fun explosion animation with popcorn. The design is very different from Kernel-pult, but I'm not going to act like this is a Pokemon evolution where the evolved form stopped looking silly. This is a corn cob with eyes, on a wheeled wooden frame, whose wheels are slices of corn cob. Awesome! The second game would replace this guy entirely with a banana.

Lastly, I would like to discuss something very special to me. I would like to discuss Pult. Pult is something that delights me to no end! In PvZ1, Catapult plants exist mostly to be used on the Roof levels, since much of the roof is slanted, preventing straight projectiles from being very effective. And each of them have this little nest-looking basket on a stick that they lob their projectiles from. Evidently, this is the Pult. I love this thing! Do you think if I married Kernel-pult, I could take his last name? Here are some Pults I made during my previous Pult Phase. It truly inspires me!

Iso-pult

Sponge-pult

And lastly, I will ground us a bit more once again, with Corn Muffin-pult. My favorite Plant, now pulting my favorite form of corn! Please remember to always be silly and make silly images like these whenever you want, it is a necessary part of the human experience!

#kernel-pult #plants vs zombies #cob cannon #not mario #funky friday #mod chikako #bugs #bugs cw

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h3lfaerie · 8 months ago

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Random: "I'm just saying, Hiccup Haddock wouldn't be muscular."

Me: *cracks knuckles and puts on glasses* Let's do this shit.

---

*AHEM*

Okay, first of all.

Nutrition.

As we all probably know, the more nutrients and the better food you get when you are a child the more fit and taller you will grow as an adult. Usually. Now looking at How To Train Your Dragon, consider that Hiccup was very short and scrawny when Berk was still being attacked by dragons. And then once the dragons stopped attacking and the village suddenly had more food instead of it being stolen all the time, Hiccup went from scrawny and tiny to a WHOPPING SIX FOOT TWO.

And yes, that is his actual height in the last two movies.

And that is largely on relatively little sun and poor nutrients from limited amounts of grains and meats and root vegetables (plus mildew's cabbage).

Training.

Whether you have watched Race To The Edge or not, you know this little shit can fight. Good. You think you gain that sort of technique by not living sparring ring?

While Hiccup is definitely more strategic in his fighting style as opposed to people like Astrid and Heather (who are both distinctly heavy-handed imo), his strong suit is his agility. Paired up with a high proficiency with a... long range of weapons (largely leaning towards swordsmanship). One, that takes a lot of practice, two he's doing it with a prosthetic leg. Consider the amount of pain and hindrance that would cause him throughout training. He is literally disabled. He needs to work twice as hard. His pain tolerance alone would be through the roof.

Sparring-wise the constant footwork and quick directional changes would vastly improve his balance and leg strength, while wielding a sword would build his shoulder, arm, and core muscles. The constant need for precise strikes and defensive maneuvers refines hand-eye coordination and grip strength, which would explain why he is such a good shot with things like his shield-crossbow contraption. And also sparring develops cardiovascular endurance due to the rapid movements and bursts of action, in other words - stamina. He's got plenty.

Now, here you may probably think "But his design for the Inferno is hollow. Isn't that because he can't lift a sword?"

NOPE.

That design was entirely afforded to him by Viggo Grimborn in Race to the Edge. It was a strategic decision.

Have you SEEN the prototype of that thing:

Like first of all that is VIOLENT. That is a serrated blade. It's meant to GUT people. (Go on and tell me Hiccup doesn't have anger issues, I dare you.)

Secondly, I'd argue that has more metal than a normal sword.

And thirdly... proof of Hiccup's physical strength can be seen in the following scenes (I wish I had GIFs, I'm sorry I do not. Those are all moments from RTTE):

Exhibit A:

Knocks Astrid off her feet during sparring.

Exhibit B:

Knocks Savage off his feet while being chased.

Exhibit C:

Catches AND STOPS an axe going for his head held by someone thrice his size.

Exhibit D:

Knocks Snotlout's tooth out with his non-dominant hand.

Excibit E:

KNOCKS TOOTHLESS (A WHOLE DAMN DRAGON) OFF A FUCKING CLIFF BY HIMSELF.

Shall I go on?

Blacksmithing.

Blacksmithing is a highly physical craft that builds strength, endurance, and coordination. Hammering hot metal requires po-wer-ful arm, shoulder, and chest muscles. Lifting and maneuvering heavy materials cannot NOT strengthen your back and stomach if you've been doing it for weeks, let alone years. Which he has.

The repetitive swinging motion of the hammer builds forearm and grip strength, which is essential for control and precision. And working in the heat of a forge is ... For one, a glorious sweaty bonus, for two, it basically serves as a sauna after an excruciating amount of physical labour. Ever wondered why people go to a sauna after a workout? The heat can help repair muscles that were damaged by exercise and it can reset your thermoregulation thresholds. In other words, hot temperatures feel less severe. And I wonder why HE of all people, would be in need of THAT.

TLDR; Blacksmithing is a FULL-BODY workout that not only builds physical resilience but also sharpens mental focus and discipline.

And Hiccup started doing it as a CHILD.

As a substitute for dragon killing.

And last but not least (in fact probably the most important).

DRAGON RIDING.

Have you ever been on a horse? Have you ever seen equestrians? I'm really grateful to have had the privilege to ride a horse and let me tell you ... Your whole body hurts after.

-> Core strength.

The constant flexing and contracting required to stay balanced in the saddle works your core muscles like there's no tomorrow, including your abs and obliques.

-> Inner thighs and pelvic muscles.

Speaking of maintaining-your-balance-and position-while-riding... Applying strength against the saddle, effectively squeezing it with your thighs, while maintaining that rhythmic back-and-forth-and-up-and-down motion CONSTANTLY if you don't want to get flung off... yeah, it destroys your inner thighs and pelvic muscles. Can confirm you walk like a penguin afterwards. It's grueling.

-> (I'm not gonna include the posture and trunk exterior muscles here because Hiccup rides like a hunch-back, therefore those benefits would not be applicable to him, cause he's a lil' gremlin.)

And lastly, staying in that saddle is not easy, even with the right technique. You need to have built your body a certain way to keep your seat if you want to move onto galloping (much like a dancer can't go en-pointe until they've strengthened their ankles). Until then, you're stuck with trotting for weeks. And trust me it still leaves you sore.

TLDR; Horse riding can: improve your balance and coordination, increase your flexibility, burn over 400 calories per hour, serve as yet another FULL-BODY workout, and improve your reflexes.

Now change that to dragon riding.

Now change that to riding canonically the fastest, smartest, and rarest of the known species of dragons in this universe?

Just the FACT our boy wasn't done flung off in that Test Drive Scene in HTTYD 1 is a cause for a standing ovation.

In conclusion:

Realistically, Hiccup Haddock wouldn't be a fishbone. HE WOULD NOT BE BULKY EITHER. THAT IS AN ATROCITY.

But considering all that we've listed, if you wanted to consider realistic expectations based on his levels of physical activity, nutrition, and his growth spurt in response to that, he would, at the very least, be tall as fuck, and absolutely built.

And as a bonus: Have you seen his parents? The genetics are THERE.

THAT SAID, everyone's allowed to have fun with Hiccup's design! That's just my interpretation. It does not and should not invalidate anyone else's.

I'm well aware that Hiccup Haddock is a huge representation for the disabled community. Particularly those with chronic illness, neurodiveristy and limb difference. So, I'd like to finish this off with: I simply decided to go on a deep-dive, but really it's not that deep. This was just the result of my three-hours-long hyperfixation.

We love all and any renditions of Hiccup Haddock the Third, because he is just that lovable.

If you disagree with mine, that is absolutely okay ❤️

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#httyd #httyd general #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #hiccup haddock

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