#caim rambles

[arcadian-caim]

A while back I took my eo2 dark hunter Juno and oc-ified him. And then I remembered, dark hunters canonically don’t wield guns in game after giving him cowboy esque lore 👉🏾👈🏾 It’s ok lagaard could always use a cowboy

[drackengarth]

Can't decide if I'm looking forward to the new schedule at work, can't wait for 3 days off it's. Just. 10 hr days 4 days a week is gonna suuuuuck.

I should be able to stream consistently soon, and dedicate a day to art and dev stuff instead of dragging my exhausted ass to my computer once in a blue moon

[ashenious]

The gods watching some twink and his dragon wife transport the Grotesquerie Queen to another world and defeat her with the power of song, and realizing they have to go about destroying humans all over again:

[gothimgem]

chapter 4 started, also known as what i like to call the filler episode

[foxceus]

what if the evokers were odd beasts? what then

[caimdrakengard]

it’s sights like these that make me remember why I love skyrim so much

[unma]

on second thought, perhaps the verification code is deserved.

[raisin-writes]

hachi x reader hcs

fishman island got me feeling kinda fruity for this big lug and i know DAMN well the normies aint gonna write for him, gotta do everything myself around here smfh

sfw and nsfw

nsfw under the cut. minors dont interact with that part istg 🫵👁️👁️💢

sfw:

super super sweet bf, like tooth rotting levels of sweetness.

hes the one who asks you out, but hes so shy and awkward about it. any courage he'd gathered beforehand goes right out the window as he twiddles his thumbs and stutters over his words like a fool. its all the more endearing, really; you cant help but laugh when his face lights up and he pulls you into an all encompassing bear hug while jumping around hooting and hollering after you accept.

big kisses from him, likes to surprise you with them when you're looking away only to get a cheekful when you turn back to face him again- that long mouth of his has its advantages. giving him kisses in return makes him squeal and often ends up with you being pulled into him, his arms wrapping around you as he nuzzles you with his cheek, giggling and smiling.

he could never say no to you. he'd give you the world if he could, you mean so much to him. he doesnt have much in the way of financial security, especially now that hes retired from his pirating career, but by god he will try his damndest to make good on his promises to provide for you.

LOVES pda, it makes him feel all giddy inside. even just a peck on the cheek has his chest puffing up and a big grin forming on his face. hand holding makes him weak in the knees. cupping his cheeks in your hands and locking eyes with him while you have that soft, loving look in your eye will make him flush beet red from the top of his head to his chest, you swear you can see steam coming out of his ears.

he gets all starry-eyed whenever he gets the chance to just sit back and admire you, a longing sigh leaves his lips and his heart swells with love.

he doesnt mind making a fool of himself if it makes you laugh- whether that be with some sort of accidental slap-stick routine (he gets so clumsy around you) or singing the worst rendition of a love song in all his tone deaf glory. hes addicted to the sound, he cant get enough of it. your happiness never fails to bring a smile to his face.

regularly gushes about you to caime and pappagu. camie is so happy for him and lets him babble on for as long as he likes, but pappagu will eventually roll his eyes and start to tease him if he rambles for too long. from what hatchi tells them, you seem very nice, they wonder when they'll get to meet you.

really enjoys meal dates, hes lowkey kind of a foodie. dont worry, whatever you dont eat he'll gladly finish for you.

making food together is such a tender, intimate activity for him, it makes his heart ache (in a good way!). likes to show off his culinary skills in an effort to impress you; compliment him on said skill or how good the food tastes and he'll give you the cutest bashful smile youve ever seen, hes so modest. he gets all flustered when you ask him to help you with anything involving him standing behind you and guiding your hands.

endless takoyaki. its on the house, only for you- no ifs, ands, or buts. if you have special requests for him hes more than happy to accommodate.

hes very strong, so no matter how light or heavy you are, he can easily carry you around like a princess in his arms, on his back, or up on his shoulders, whichever you prefer. in truth, he likes carrying you on his back the most, like a little backpack <3

swimming dates are another favorite of his. it feels like youre in his domain while in the water, and he has a duty to keep you safe. loves diving down below the surface and swimming around with you on his back or in his arms. he'll take you to his favorite reefs and show you around the local marine life.

he took you to a kelp forest one time and fell in love with you all over again with the way you looked- awestruck, the sunlight glistening from the surface shining through the kelp made you look ethereal. kissing him under the water makes him feel like hes died and gone to fish-heaven, he feels so at peace down here with you. dont even get me started on the way he screams internally at getting to see you in a swimsuit for the first time; he gets so red, hiding his face in his hands and kicking his feet.

HUGE cuddle bug. hes the reason they call it octopusing, his hands and legs are curled around you so there is absolutely no chance of escape, yet at the same time youve never felt so safe. whether youre sitting in his lap or laying in bed, hes happy as a clam just being so intimately close with you, skin to skin, chest to chest or spooning you from behind. loves having you lay on top of him, his hands rubbing soothing shapes into your back and giving you forehead kisses. on the other hand, he also likes it when you let him rest his head on your chest, his arms over your torso, and your nails combing through his hair (he'll forgive you for messing up his meticulously shaped 'do).

whether you want to live with him down on fishman island or up on the surface, he doesnt care. he'll be content and happy so long as he gets to be with you. if you decide on the former, he might have you live with camie for a while, at least until he can figure out a safer place to live (like hell is he gonna let you step foot in the noah district). but for you, its worth the trouble.

nsfw:

oh this fishman is a service verse fr fr, he lives to please.

because hes much bigger and stronger than you, he feels its just easier for you to take the lead and tell him what to do. he doesnt want to end up accidentally hurting you, so normally he'll just let you have your way with him, whether that be climbing on top of him and riding him while he holds you up with all of his big greedy hands, sitting on his face while he moans into your wet heat, or sinking down on his thick fingers- hes got plenty for you to choose from 😏.

gets a little nervous when you ask him to be on top. he knows hes a big guy, hes afraid hes going to accidentally crush you under him if hes not careful. dont worry, with a little encouragement and maybe some teasing, hes more than happy to give you what you need.

absolutely no degradation, choking, or hitting. he could never intentionally hurt you, that would be too much for him, he'll feel so guilty. youre his sun, his moon, his stars- in his eyes, you deserve only kindness.

hes not the best at dirty talk, but when he gets to the point of babbling, he'll shower you with praises like "you feel so amazing, your face looks so pretty right now", and cries of "need you so bad, youre perfect. youre so perfect. i love you so much." alongside other sweet endearments.

if you really beg him and goad him on, he might get huffy and smack your ass or manhandle you a bit to get back at your teasing, but thats the extent of his ability to dom. deep down you know hes capable of more, but the wall of self-discipline hes built up for himself is damn near-impenetrable.

hes in the 7 feet tall range, so you know that thang is big- around 7 inches to be specific. its tentacle-like, thick, and has a smooth velvety texture with a tapered tip. the underside has small, underdeveloped suckers that feel insanely good when he slowly drags his cock down against your walls. it normally sits inside him, tucked into a slit between his legs, but it unsheathes itself when coaxed out or hes teased in other erogenous zones.

he gets really whiney and whimpery when hes about to cum, its insanely cute. his shoulders will shake and his knees start to buckle but by god is he gonna make sure you finish either before or with him- he'll even stubbornly push himself to the point of tears to make sure he doesnt beat you to the finish line.

he has a weird thing about making sure you're satiated before he worries about his own pleasure. "its the gentlefishly thing to do!" he'll say, but deep down hes kind of insecure you'll leave him if he doesnt go above and beyond. hes not the sharpest tooth in the anglers mouth, but hes got eyes and the wherewithall to realize that theres always going to be other humans and fishmen that'll be bigger, better-looking, and richer than him, and hes scared they'll tempt you away from him. he gets better about not thinking that way the longer youre with him, but it still eats at the back of his mind every once and a while.

to combat this negative train of thought, he requires a bit of special attention; lots of kisses, anywhere and everywhere, but especially on his face and neck, sweet praises whispered in his ear, telling him all the little details you love about him, teasing caresses, maybe a small bit of tickling to get him to laugh, boasting about all the things only he could do for you, etc. he'll bounce right back with a "r-really? you think all those nice things about me??" his face gets all red and he seems to forget how to make eye contact, but the timid smile on his face and the hint of tears beginning in this eyes is a good indicator that youve done a good job of lifting his self esteem and reassuring him youre all his.

back to the fun stuff, hes very good with his hands and mouth. he loves making you moan and whine for him, your pleasure spurs him on to keep going. hes very obedient when you tell him to suck on you harder or finger you faster, all for the sweet reward of your pretty whimpers and praises. hes a hard worker, having much more stamina than the average human, so he'll go on with foreplay for seemingly forever if you ask him to.

when he first pushes inside you, it leaves you breathless. youre whining and taking shallow gulps of air when he bottoms out and you can feel that delicious twinge of pain from being stretched just past your limits.

hes not faring any better; hes shaking, gripping the sheets under you and involuntarily rutting further into your warmth, the action making you cry out and grip his forearms to keep yourself from going insane. his eyes are shut tight, his brows scrunched together in concentration. its taking just about everything in him not to just slide back out and ram into you, you feel so deliriously tight and wet around him he might just explode.

hes so gentle with you. you can see hes trying his best by the way he grits his teeth and slides into you with slow, deliberate strokes, letting you get used to his size.

you'll be more than ready for him by the time he starts actually fucking you. his thrusts are heavy, making your whole body bounce back before meeting him again in a wet slap of skin against skin. it makes you dizzy with how full you feel.

he cums a lot. it gets pretty messy, so be ready for that. once hes gotten past the peak of pleasure, his loud, pathetic whimpering gradually subsiding to quiet little moans, hes slow to pull out, amazed at the sight of his release leaking out of you and around his cock. its not a full on kink, moreso just a fascination for him.

your sigh of contentment brings his attention back up to your face and he smiles. youre both sweaty, flushed, and tired, but hes still a gentleman, he needs to clean you both up first and foremost.

aftercare is so tender with him. hes quieter, his voice a low hum when he checks in with you. hes also attentive to any mess and soreness you have, hes got plenty of hands to multitask so you'll be ready for bed in no time.

cuddling is just routine at this point, but if youre too hot, he'll settle for just holding your hand while facing you, admiring. you conk out soon after youre both settled and sleep like a baby, he'll follow a little later when his eyes get too heavy to keep open.

he snores. it sounds a bit like a kazoo sometimes. its cute.

[laconic-nightmares]

if you have resources on splitting myself (im not sure how it would work? the impetus is a trauma of sorts but it would be a created plurality so idk) then that would be great. For what its worth I do already practice a distinction between the thoughts and 'me' and have used 'you/us/we' to refer to myself for forever?

and yeah, this seems like a bad way to cope but I have few options yk? ill try real therapy for me and esp the thoughtform when im able.

yeah it's difficult to be sure of origin labels when it's complicated like this, but we settled on the origin label of parotraumagenic because, similarly, our first split was due to the trauma of intrusive thoughts but simultaneously 'on purpose', even if we didn't know any names for what we were doing at the time.

as far as the actual creation goes, i don't really know how i did it, i just sorta 'did it' and experienced very subtle switching for about 5 years until i stumbled across the tulpa community. it was there that i created our tulpa, though my intent at the time was to hijack the consciousness that was already there and turn that into a tulpa. it didn't work so well though, but caim in turn used the process of me making our tulpa to give itself a more defined personality so idk, i guess it kind of worked?

also, it's my belief that a lot more people experience at least a form of psuedo plurality than we're aware of as a society. actors and writers have talked about their characters having minds of their own for centuries, and the concept of a muse is also vaguely pluralish. so yes, that distinction you already have is at least a small step towards it. i think it's incredibly common for people with intrusive thoughts to at least do a small version of what we're doing here as a means of coping.

anyway, enough rambling;

this Tulpa Creation Guide (1) appears to be the main guide in use by the tulpa community right now. there is also this giant list of guides (2) to look through

keep in mind that everything here is pretty separated from the rest of the plural community, so there are going to be a lot of different terms and a lot of different ideas as well. i'm a firm believer in picking and choosing what works for you, so don't feel beholden to any ideas presented in those guides that don't vibe with you.

especially don't be too concerned with the idea of making a fully separate consciousness to your own, or their ideas of full possessive switches (hell, you don't even have to have switches at all if you both vibe with that) - i've found their ideas don't fully gel with median systems (3) and that kinda seems to be what you're going for, they also don't always account for differences between polyconscious (4) and monoconscious (5) systems

i also wouldn't really bother with anything related to imposition. it's a cool thing to be able to do in theory, and if you want to get into it that's fine but it's pretty much just intentionally hallucinating your headmate into the real world and it's not necessary nor does it seem very useful for your case specifically

lastly, though there isn't much in the way of intentional creation of headmates, healthy multiplicity (6) has a lot of resources for how to manage being plural in ways that benefit the whole system, and i'd recommend having a look through all of that as well

i have also found a guide for self-directed exposure response prevention (7), which might be a good thing to do along with your new headmate once you're a little more established. i'll also direct you to the tiktok account (8) - along with their first video on the topic - that i discovered this therapy from

i wish you the best of luck and i do genuinely hope that things get better for you soon. thank you for your patience in the delay of getting this to you

plain text links under the cut in case any of them get weird

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Parotraumagenic - parotraumagenic definition

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1feviU9YQ4o773XEDeZHyjKugNoM1hTgA/view - tulpa creation guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/wiki/guides/ - r/tulpa guides list

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Median - median systems definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Polyconscious - polyconscious definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Monoconscious - monoconscious definition

http://healthymultiplicity.com/ - healthy multiplicity

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/ - self-directed exposure response prevention

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8xg9u8G/ - ERP tiktok

[agoddamn]

evoker uncap opinions

so far caim is the UNQUESTIONED king of evoker uncaps. crazy valuable in HL. nobody else can do what he can.

the greater issue is, the devs declared before the uncaps even came out that they would ONLY focus on passives. stream declared that the uncaps would buff backline passive, frontline passive, add new passive, and buff ougi. that means that evokers with decent skills are in a VERY good spot and evokers with shit skills are in a VERY bad spot.

caim and maria theresa demonstrate this most handily; caim's skills were already decent in concept, they just didn't work properly with one another (being unable to copy). maria theresa, by contrast, has GARBAGE fucking skills and her uncap did NOT fix her extremely gimmicky design; she's still only really designed to do the uguale/fedelta combo and then waste space. she got very little practical day-to-day use out of her uncap in spite of the 4 costing a fuckin sunstone. the passive echoes from switching to front are nice and all but you know what? water zeta does half of that with 0 frontline swapping shenanigans AS WELL AS being generally useful outside of that. so does summer cag! meanwhile, MT's healing is still super, super limited. so her uncap did very little for her, overall. it didn't fix her biggest issues.

IMO the most recent batch--nier and estarriola--got uncaps of the "good if you're already using these units but not gonna persuade you if you're not" nature.

nier's flb giving her a passive that exists solely to buff her first skill tells me that the devs lowkey regret their mission statement of "buff passives." they bent over backwards to make a passive that buffed a skill! c'mon, man.

estarriola's flb made him a better backline slut for kengo, but all his frontline buffs equal out to "ok well he can ougi now." which...i do think that needs a bit more testing before we give the final verdict on him, given the team assassin buff he gets on ougi. it gave him a new niche--his 4 means he can ALWAYS activate his ougi--but it didn't fix his more practical issues. imo, what estarriola REALLY needed was a buff to hostility and defense. i use him frequently on the frontline and i've found that 1) his frontline swap skill is so forgettable you can freely start him on frontline and 2) for a dude who needs to be hit to activate 1/3 of his skills (technically 2/3 of his skills considering the special attack one) he sure doesn't take hits all that well. a 4th skill with mitigation would have been real nice, or maybe revitalize? idk. i think there were some holes in his flb, is all.

ramblings on future predictions for the evokers i am most personally concerned with for the sake of figuring how i'll spend my sand:

they seem very interested in buffing frontline viability

i worry a bit about what alanaan will get. ferry flb is a hint since they share the same most important skill

but alanaan plays so differently when he comes from the backline vs when he starts frontline. frontline is faceroll burst, but if you're bringing him from the backline it's for HL because you need def/heal buffs/pseudohealer

somewhat similar to caim in that frontline caim is mostly for copycat memes and backline caim is completely different in playstyle

so maybe alanaan COULD get some really good passives that give him the kinda HL boost caim got? well, i'm on the hopium, but it's doubtful…

given his defensive/pseudoheal niche i expect alanaan to get a 4 with death's grace or mitigation or something else in the survivability spectrum, like unchallenged or guts or reflect. a nuke 4 would be COMPLETELY wasted

meanwhile, borger…

borger is outdated on both front and backline. multihits invalidate his backline passive and his frontline passive… (lol

everyone and thieir mother has guaranteed TA nowadays, QA is not worth the setup

borger…imo what borger NEEDS is either a buff to his offense (autonuke? yuisis/gawain echo/triple/seraphic passive?) or

a buff to his tank meme. I noticed they gave nier the very odd passive that extends her field this round; maybe borger could get a 4 (field?) that gives him single-target sub with counter like rein or baotorda? the devs clearly [and rightfully] don't consider single-target sub all that powerful

once the evoker uncaps finish up, i'm expecting one or two of them to get a rebal right after. nier's 'field fix' passive seems to show that cygames regrets not making space for skill buffs in the flb

[arcadian-caim]

There’s something intriguing lore wise about the arcanists from etrian odyssey.

It’s interesting how they’re described as casters from an unnamed land. In a game that’s all about exploring forests to eldritch horrors it leaves a lot of wiggle room to imagine their background. For me I pictured the arcanist in my party being new to the city. Wise within his practice of magic but naive towards the new setting. Thus making the guild his first and soon to be familiar faces associated with the city. A found family to tell his own back at home via letters. (Ik they debuted in 4 but I played them for the first time in nexus)

[drackengarth]

Remaking my png-tuber, hopefully relaunching Friday streams wheeeeeee

I dint wanna commit to any more days than Fridays right now cause salon hours miiiiight be changing soon and idk what my days off are going to be. Also because I am baby streamer than doesn't know what they're doing yet...

[sanafrontiers]

oh, hey! what are you doing here? thanks for coming... you can call me caim, mars or dee. i'm in my late twenties, the pronouns are they/she and i'm from brasil.

this is a sideblog dedicated to ramble about random stuff i love or am obsessed with. you will find nsfw stuff here so 18+ only, please.

right now i'm into criminal minds and buffy the vampire slayer, mostly. but i can always go low and like some freaky stuff.

i love me a good boy (spencer reid) and all weird girls you can imagine (azula, alicent, faith lehane, etc) and i fight for their rights!

loosely, i can tell you i like to draw and design, books of any kind, horror movies, supernatural stuff, to laugh and be silly, basically.

you can find out more about this sideblog in my info page ig. i made this blog because i just want a place to feel safe to talk about stuff i like without feeling unconfortable.

ask me my main or any of my socials and you shall receive :)

that's all! if you have any recommendations of any kind of media, i'm always open to it!

thanks for reading it >_o

[caimdrakengard]

☆ just a dude who likes crusty PS2/3 games, dragons, and old gaming advertisements/magazines. ☆

☆ I make art sometimes. check #myart. rambles under #caim talks. gaming stuff under #caim games☆

☆ current obsessions are Devil Summoner, MGS, DrakeNier, Death Stranding, Assassins Creed, Resident Evil, Pathologic, Dishonored, and Silent Hill. ☆

☆ inbox always open for requests or questions. ☆

☆ FR - caimdrakengard ☆

[unma]

(Wamdus FA Solo)

Yeah if you can manage to enable Sabrina she's really good. Could've run Lamretta with her for the 3/4 sub all (dodge all ensures she's fine during Lamretta's off time) but I wanted a speedier clear with more skill damage so I finally used Cavalier. Wasn't bad. I'll work on using Sabrina more later.

[caiminn]

𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐌 welcomes 𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍 !

Caim's very own bartender, Hyunjin, has finally arrived - The Banquet Hall , more specifically the bar, is slowly filling up with guests - both regulars and newcomers ! If anyone is in need of our Gumiho's assistance, and he is not busy creating the most extravagant of cocktails, chatting with regulars or rather hearing their drunken rambles or even trying out new liquor combinations , he can be found in one of Huo's many vast and modern rooms ! Most likely observing and poking at people he finds interesting, creating concoctions of new cocktails or simply trying them out himself ! According to our records, it seems as though his way of dealing with rude guests is by not holding back and biting back at them, if they happen to be a bit too rude, he might just pour their drinks on top of them - If they can talk the talk, they should be able to walk the walk - 'tis a sassy pproach the hotel owner can't help but agree with ! If you do not wish to end up like our rude guests, a little birdie has told us he enjoys a tall glass of wine and the sounds of the guzheng. Perhaps treating him to some good high quality wine, preferably accompanying it with the strum of the guzheng, might just put you in his good graces !

With that being said - Hyunjin, it seems you are needed at the bar ! A guest has dropped by the banquet hall and they're claiming to be a regular - We're afraid no one is quite equipped to make him his favourite cocktail as you are !