#this sketch is nearly 2 years old now?

[arcadian-caim]

A while back I took my eo2 dark hunter Juno and oc-ified him. And then I remembered, dark hunters canonically don’t wield guns in game after giving him cowboy esque lore 👉🏾👈🏾 It’s ok lagaard could always use a cowboy

[owliellder]

The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter f! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔

Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare

Author Note: You know how each president of the U.S. gets a painting at the end of their term? I'm thinking like that. Plus, my favorite hobby is recreating renaissance art, so I figured this was a good fit (hopefully).

Cross posted onto AO3

Session 1: The Sketches

It was late at night when Leon made his decision to retire fully.

He had gotten home over an hour ago from reviewing mountains of paperwork, most of which pertained to missions that other agents have gone on or will be going on.

Younger agents. More energized agents.

The fact that he hadn't gone on a full mission since San Francisco was driving him up the wall. But that's what he wanted. He requested to hang back the last two years.

Both Chris and Claire had fully retired themselves right after San Fran, Claire being the first to retire to focus on her growing family with Chris following suit only a few months later. Jill was still around, but she was doing similar work that Leon was, only she was in a completely different department which was states away.

Of course Leon still talked with them all as regularly as possible, he'd go insane if he didn't, especially with Claire having a couple kids now. He wasn't the greatest with children, but it was refreshing seeing his friends achieve such normalcy. He wanted them to have the best life they could away from everything.

Having turned 40 a few some months ago, Leon was having a bit of a mid-life crisis. The mission to San Francisco a couple years ago had made him realize just how much toll the job itself had taken on his body. After being assessed and allowed home a few nights after returning from the mission, his body ached; joints creaking, back nearly thrown, just... tired.

Don't get him wrong, he was always tired after missions, but this was different. This wasn't just the regular aches and pains he dealt with after being tossed around like a rag doll, this was age.

Deep in his mind, Leon was still that 21 year old boy in Raccoon City. He never got the chance to properly grieve and move on, his mind forever changed by that event. Mentally, he was stuck there and had been this entire time.

It had taken the man this long to truly recognize the fact that he's older now. He's not that boy from Raccoon City anymore. He hadn't been in a long time.

What was he do to now? Leon had wanted so badly to serve and protect the people, but not like this. Not like he has for the past 29 years.

He spent his most formative years fighting unimaginable horrors, watching people suffer, watching people die. You don't just come back from something like that.

And unlike the friends he's managed to keep close, Leon didn't have someone he trusted. Hell, he barely trusted himself most days.

So now here he was, sitting drunk in his shower with his legs pulled up to his chest, his arms resting atop his knees while the water pelted down on him, silently mulling over everything he's ever seen and done during his time as an agent.

The water had grown cold at this point, Leon having quickly lost track of how long he was sitting spaced out like that for. Thankfully, he'd already cleaned himself before he ended up sitting down, so the hardest part now was just standing back up to get himself back out.

It took him a couple more minutes before he finally hoisted himself up with a tired groan, both his knees popping from being stuck in position for such a lengthy amount of time.

Once out of the shower, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, Leon stared at himself in the mirror; busy studying the crow's feet on both outer corners of his eyes as well as the prominent bags sitting under them, the smile line around his mouth, his now brown hair, the stubble on his face and neck that's he's neglected to shave, and just how exhausted he looked.

How has he never noticed any of this before? Why's he look so different now?

Settling into bed after this brutal realization was a tough task. The man followed his nightly routine of taking four Tylenol and two of his prescription sleep meds before setting his a/c 65 degrees Fahrenheit. He learned quickly many years ago that tossing and turning at night would make him overheat and sweat.

But tonight, nothing Leon did could ease that sinking feeling in his chest, that feeling of unfulfillmemt and shame weighing on him more than ever before.

The poor man barely slept at all last night, hangover evident by the way he was still slightly uneven on his feet as he leaned over the center island in his kitchen, head between his forearms while his hands sat clasped together.

Leon knew what he had to do. He's been feeling it ever since Chris and Claire made their departure, but it was so easy to deny. How was he suppose to give up the one thing that made him important? Sure the stress of his work was heavily tasking on the mind and body, but it's what gave him purpose. He felt useful doing what he did.

The man showed up for work late that day, barely having managed to dress himself. He didn't know exactly who to go to in this scenario, but everyone seemed surprised that the Leon Kennedy would show up for work in some ratty t-shirt and grey sweatpants. The stares were making him incredibly uncomfortable and he was quickly regretting showing up at all.

After sitting in his own office for awhile to avoid the looks and whispers, Leon eventually sauntered over to his superior's office, an almost solemn look on his face as he let himself in after knocking.

Needless to say, Leon was relieved his superior knew this was coming. Slightly offended, but relieved nonetheless.

It had been a long time coming, and it was only a matter of time before Leon threw in the towel, especially since he was now just working behind the scenes instead of on the frontline.

He was allowed to return home for the rest of the day if he wanted to, which Leon quickly took. He really didn't want to be in that building for much longer.

As soon as he returned home he went right back to drinking. And as ashamed as he is to admit, he even cried a little, half empty whiskey bottle in one hand while the other was clenched tightly into a fist as he gripped the pant leg of his sweats.

There wasn't anyone Leon could talk to about this. Chris and Claire had their own respective partners to come home to after retirement, but Leon? Leon had nothing besides a dingy and cold two bedroom house with only the basics inside, including his alcohol cabinet.

The man didn't even give himself time to date, only the occasional one night stand with randoms from the bar. He was too afraid that he would endanger anyone he allowed into his life like that, not to mention he'd been betrayed one too many times to trust in someone that way again. It was his way of keeping himself and everyone else safe.

The therapists he was assigned throughout the years all had the same concern regarding his love life, and deep down Leon was just as concerned, but he rationalized it with that hero complex he developed.

But he just couldn't rationalize it anymore. Leon was alone. He was alone, sad, and afraid.

About a month after Leon's retirement was processed and announced, word spread quickly throughout numerous government branches. There was a celebration set up at the White House to honor his service as a field agent.

The President had separated him and Leon from the party to slowly walk through the many hallways in the building. The old man could tell just how bothered the now ex-agent was by his retirement, so he figured now would be the best time to talk to him about his final task.

"You know," The President spoke up after a couple minutes of the two walking in silence, prompting Leon to slowly turn his head to listen. "I'm sure you've heard it so many times tonight, but you truly were one of the best agents I've ever seen."

Leon chuckled quietly, shaking his head a bit at the compliment. He had heard it a lot tonight, but obviously it was different coming from him.

"I'm serious. This county, probably the entire world, would've been in shambles if not for your hours spent." The President continued, slowing his walking to a stop.

"It means more than you know." Leon responded simply, voice a bit gravelly from the few drinks he's had. He took a couple steps more before stopping as well, turning around to face the prominent old man.

The President sighed, giving him a sympathetic smile while nodding. They stood in silence for a brief moment before the old man spoke up again, pointing lazily down the hall. "Follow me, I've got something I want to show you."

From there, the two wandered further down the halls until eventually reaching one hall that had lights more centered towards the walls, highlighting the picture frames that sat evenly spaced out amongst them.

Leon seemed a tad confused until he was able to focus on the first painting they walked by. He knew each president got a portrait painted after their full term was served, but the man in this painting wasn't a past president.

He stopped walking to stand in front of the painting, admiring the details it had before glancing down at the bottom of the elegant frame, a placard reading a name he didn't recognize. What he did recognize, though, was the word Agent that sat in front of the man's name.

While zoned into the placard, Leon didn't register the gentle hand that had been clasped on his shoulder, the President's voice breaking through his trance. "For as long as there's been bioweapons, we've had agents fighting to stop them. But only a few agents have truly outdone themselves. Agents like you."

Leon blinked a couple times before turning his head to look at the hand on his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't quite understanding what he was saying.

The President took his silence as a cue to continue, his sympathetic smile turning into a happier one as he gently tugged Leon's shoulder to get him to start walking again. "The D.S.O. has produced some of the greatest agents since Benford created it back in 2011. You were amazing before, but you've outdone yourself time and time again."

Leon still wasn't quite understanding, really only half listening as he kept his eyes trained to the numerous portraits of agents as he slowly passed them.

The two stopped in front of the last painting in the hallway, only a few spots away from leading into another hallway. It was Chris and Claire in this painting. Chris was sitting down in a chair while Claire stood next to him, hand resting on back of it, both of them smiling.

He studied the painting for a minute longer before whipping his head around to face the President, who was still smiling, as the realization slowly settling in.

"I-" Leon struggling to speak, glancing back at the painting before quickly looking back at the old man standing next to him.

The President simply nodded his head, smile widening with a gentle laugh. "Right. The painting process takes a bit of time, but I think you've more than earned this."

The ex-agent had so many questions. Firstly, why hadn't Chris or Claire mentioned this? But more importantly, he gets to have his own portrait painted?

"The painter knows all about you. She's excited to meet you." The President started down the hall again, Leon not far behind, still stuttering out nonsense as he attempted to form even a sentence. "I'll give you the information you need to get started with her. I have it written down back in my office."

A painting?

A painting. A painting for him. A painting to honor him. What?

Leon was once again sat on his couch, blankly staring at the small business card with a date and time written on it in pen. He'd read the info on the card so many times already, wanting to make sure he got absolutely nothing wrong.

Apparently he didn't have to call and confirm, all he had to do was show up to this random address at a specific date and time, which was soon. In a couple days kind of soon. Also, he thought he was reading the time wrong, but no, it was four in the morning, not four in the afternoon. What an odd and rather inconvenient time.

Even after memorizing the business card front to back, Leon would be lying if he said he didn't forget about meeting up with this mystery painter. He'd been rather aloof the past couple months, it was hard to pull himself out of that funk. He'd been staying up late and sleeping in even later, so hitting snooze on his alarm a good few times was just muscle memory at this point.

It was almost 5am when he realized where he was suppose to be, eyes shooting open as he yanked himself out of bed, desperately trying to clean himself up enough to be at least presentable.

The man was mentally chastising himself the entire drive. It was a short drive, which he was surprised by, and the building seemed quaint; red brick with large windows that sat on what looked like either a second or third floor.

He parked his bike right near what he assumed was the main door, pulling off his motorcycle helmet before knocking and waiting.

The last thing Leon was expecting was you to unlock and open that door; young and pretty, so pretty...

"Mr. Kennedy?" You asked, eyebrows raised slightly with a small smile. He nodded, just barely noticeable, reaching a gloved hand up to wipe at his eyes as he caught himself staring.

Your smile only widened at his nod, stepping aside to allow him into walk in. It took him a minute to realize you were still talking, shaking his head out to refocus himself.

"-again, really, no need to worry about being late. I was trying to work with your schedule but I should've known it's changed up a bit by now, right?" You lead him up a set of narrow stairs, though he was mostly following the smell of your perfume. It was such a light smell but he definitely picked up on it.

You opened a door immediately to the left of the stairs, letting Leon follow you inside. The sun was just starting to rise, shining through the large windows in the open room.

The place was cluttered, yet organized. Crowded, but that just made it all the cozier to Leon. His house was bare and lacked any sort of personality, but this... this place was covered in you.

"I'm glad you like it in here." You said in a quiet voice, looking up at him as he took in your workspace. He was smiling ever so slightly, which you mimicked with a smile of your own. "I try to make it welcoming in here, my apartment is the same way.."

Your voice trailed off as you walked over to a mostly put together set up near the back of the room where the only wall without windows sat. There was a chair sitting close to the wall, the same chair Chris was sitting in for his portrait with Claire, along with your easel sitting empty a few feet away.

Leon stood frozen, only moving his head around as he took everything in. He followed you with his eyes as you fumbled around with something, eventually producing a blank 24" x 36" canvas that was still wrapped in thin plastic.

His mouth made an 'o' shape as he pulled himself from his small trance once again, beginning to slowly make his way over to the set up you've made. He placed his helmet down on the floor beside the chair.

After placing the canvas on the easel, you walked back over to where you'd gotten the canvas from before grabbing a heavily used sketchbook. It was a large one, the paper a light brown instead of white.

Leon had only just realized that there was a faint sound of some form of classical music playing from somewhere in the room, glancing around for speakers before looking back over at you.

"I'm not getting started today, we're a couple steps away from that, so don't worry about appearance just yet." You said softly with a breathy laugh, quickly making your way back over to where he stood next to the plush chair in your setup, his hand feeling over the worn maroon fabric.

Leon nodded silently, moving to sit down once you requested he did, furrowing his eyebrows as he watched you drag over a small table. You worked fast, that's for sure.

Eventually, you'd set up a little tabletop easel to sit on the table you'd dragged in front of him, grabbing your swivel chair to sit in as you placed your sketchbook on the easel, open to a blank page.

"I just need to get some basic ideas of your facial structure since that's most important when it comes to these kinds of paintings. You're gonna be wearing a nice tuxedo when I do the second- no, third sketch for the final painting, but this is just for me to get a feel for you and vise versa." You rambled quickly, pulling out a pencil from one of your pockets before fully sitting down on the chair, bringing your legs up to sit criss cross.

"Uh.. Alright..." Leon responded, clearing his throat a bit. He didn't really understand what you'd said, you spoke a little too fast for his tired brain to keep up, but it seemed like whatever you were doing was necessary so he just rolled with it.

He was left a little speechless again at how you just began sketching, glancing up to his face and down to the page you were working on over and over. "...do you need me to, I don't know, pose or something?"

The way you kept looking at him was making feel a little uneasy. Granted he's never been in this sort of situation before, this whole process was very unfamiliar to him.

"No, no. You can move your head around and stuff. Get comfortable." You waved off, eyes wrinkling as you smiled at him. Leon nodded again, deciding to take the opportunity to look around your workspace again.

It really was a cozy space. Full of color and life, even the curtains you had lining the windows offered so much pattern and detail to the room. The back of the room where the two of you sat was more cluttered with less decor, but the front of the room was a whole different story with those massive floor pillows, blankets of all sorts strewn about, that big fluffy looking area rug, it was all so... homey. It was even inspiring him to decorate his own house a bit.

The sound of your pencil scribbling on paper and the faint sound of the classical music playing was all Leon could hear for awhile, eventually letting out an anxious sigh before beginning to talk. "So... a painter, huh..?"

"Oh yeah, I've been doing this since I was little. Obviously I wasn't that good back then, but I really improved after high school." You immediately responded, voice a little louder than his. Clearly the topic excites you. "If you want, I can hand you one of my other sketchbooks to look at while I do my thing over here?"

Leon patted his hands against the arms of the chair before nodding to the side, pursing his lips slightly. "Mm, sure. Let's see what ya got.."

As soon as he agreed, you stood up and shuffled over to the corner of the room where some desks sat arranged in a makeshift cubicle. You opened a drawer and pulled out a couple sketchbooks, still as raggedy as the one you were using now.

Walking back over, you carefully handed them to him, which he slowly took after meeting your eyes for a brief moment.

Once you made your way back to your chair, he placed both sketchbooks into his lap, opening up the one on top first. The man flipped through them silently as you began to sketch him out again.

You'd zoned into your work, adding just a bit of shading to your sketches to help emphasis some features when Leon cleared his throat again. You leaned to the side to look at him, your smile quickly returning when you saw his baffled expression.

"These are... wow, okay, how old are you?" Leon asked, head jerking upwards to meet your gaze once more. You just giggled in response, using the pencil as a fidget before returning to sketching.

"Sorry-uh, I don't mean to come off as rude or anything, but to be honest, I was expecting you to be some old lady when I saw the portraits you've done." Leon was quick to try and explain, probably misinterpreting your lack of response for unease.

Your giggle turned to a small laugh, leaning to the side once more to look at the man. "Well, I'm glad I could surprise you a bit. Hopefully I don't look old."

Leon groaned and wiped his hand down his face. "Again, sorry. Didn't mean to imply." He shook his head and looked back down at the two sketchbooks sitting in his lap, continuing to flip through them.

It was only a couple hours until you decided you got a good enough feel for drawing his face. Grabbing the sketchbook, you stood up, pencil still in hand, looking down at the sketches you made as you slowly walked over to him.

The man noticed you standing up, quickly moving to close the sketchbooks you'd given him in favor of seeing your new sketches.

"I... I think this'll be enough today. I don't want to keep you too long." You said, handing him the sketchbook. Leon took it from you, careful not to smudge anything as he finally got to see what you've been doing for the past two hours.

He furrowed his eyebrows as he studied the sketches you'd made of his face, seeing all the different angles, even the smile, how'd you get his smile?

You seemed to grow nervous the longer he stared at your sketchbook in silence, his intense look making it seem as if he didn't really like them. "Are they... Are they okay?"

Leon jostled the sketchbook a bit in his hands before standing up, now towering over you as he kept his eyes on the paper. "Just okay? These are beyond amazing."

You let out a small breath you didn't notice you were holding, heat rushing to your cheeks as you smiled at his compliment. "Oh, thank you.. I'm sorry, normally sketches don't take this long but it was stressed to me that your portrait was very important so I wanted to get everything as perfect as I could.."

"Seriously, you're a mad woman if you think these wouldn't be good." Leon chuckled, handing the sketchbook back to you. He kept his eyes trained on you, even after you turned to look down and close the sketchbook. Only a fool would miss that blush on your cheeks, it looked good on you.

"Anyways, when should I come back for the next.. uh..." Leon paused, crossing his arms loosely as he struggled to think of the word.

Luckily, you finished the sentence for him. "Session. Again, this painting's importance was stressed to me a lot, so probably the next time you're available?" You talked while you shifted the small table back to where it had originally sat under one of the numerous windows, tossing the sketchbook down on the chair cushion.

"Alright, since it's importance has now been stressed to me as well, I can probably clear up some stuff in my schedule. How's tomorrow sound?" Obviously, Leon had a completely free schedule, but you didn't need to know that.

"Tomorrow works great! The sooner the better!" You laughed, placing a gentle hand on his bicep as you walked past him to grab a sticky note. "I'll give you my personal number, just let me know when you're thinking of coming over and I'll meet you here, okay?"

Leon looked at your number before pocketing the note, nodding his head with a smile of his own. "Sounds good. Same way out?" He pointed to the door that you brought him in through, bending down to pick up his motorcycle helmet right after.

You confirmed with a thumbs up, now drinking water from your water bottle as you'd forgotten too while focused on drawing. You felt bad for not offering him any water while he was here, but you won't forget next time.

The man gave you a curt wave before leaving the room, quietly shutting the door behind himself.

You had to admit, you've worked with a very small handful of agents since it takes a lot for them to earn their own portrait, but Leon Kennedy had to be the one of the most handsome men you've ever worked with. Maybe even one of the most handsome men you've ever seen.

Lucky you pay attention to detail, cause you definitely didn't see a ring on his finger.

[smileyerim]

i think i’m in love with you (i am!)

inspired by: 9:45-9:52 of this video. (“What if I’m making a wedding dress for my girl?”)

pairing: fashion designer!mark x model!reader

genre: fluff fluff fluff

length: 800+

warnings: none just love <3

net tags: @kflixnet @neowritingsnet

. . .

It’s no surprise to say that Mark loves you. From the moment you first walked into his studio, he knew he wanted to mean something to you. From the way your eyes lit up when looking through his sketches, to the way you listened so intently to his plans, to the knowledgeable comments you made on the hand of the fabrics Mark knew he was done for. He needed to know you.

Thankfully, he did. He asked for your number near the end of your fitting “in case any changes are needed” and you gave it freely, that made him happy. Not even 2 days later he’d texted you asking to take you out to coffee. You read and responded “yes” to his question immediately.

Now you’re here, 3 years later and more in love than Mark ever thought possible. He proposed to you last spring in the middle of a cherry blossom meadow after coming up with a fake excuse about a photoshoot. Considering you know your way around scenarios like this pretty well due to your profession, you saw right through him but you let him go on his little spiel acting surprised when he got on one knee.

You’ve been engaged for 6 months and wedding planning has been kicking your ass, and Mark’s new collection coming out in 2 weeks isn’t helping with your collective stress. Recently, you and Mark haven’t been spending time together. You’re busy with work preparing for fashion week and he’s doing the same with his own fashion show to put on. You miss him dearly, and he knows it’s been weighing on your heart how he comes home and immediately falls into bed.

You miss him, and today you’re going to do something about it.

Mark is very private about his studio space, he doesn’t like people in there who don’t need to be. You’ve only been in a handful of times, once being your first meeting, but you like to stay away as much as possible to respect his private space. It’s his space to be creative, let loose, decompress, you don’t want to get in the way of that.

Except today you will. After packing a quick lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bagged snack size chips and beer you’re on your way up to his studio in the old lift near the concierges desk. You wanted to surprise him for all his hard work recently and pull him away from the sewing machine.

Through the door you can hear him talk to himself and a smile creeps up on your face

“If I just cut it on the bias the drape will be nicer and will flow down the aisle-“

“Surprise!” You burst through the door to see a stunned Mark jump, make fearful eye contact with you, and then move in front of the dress form behind him.

“What are you doing here?” He stands still holding the dress form against his body behind him.

You giggle as you step up to him, placing the grocery bag on the work table in front of you.

“I’m here to surprise you with lunch! Aren’t you surprised?” You say.

“Definitely.” Mark says, still holding the dress form tight behind him. His eyes are wide and he doesn’t seem as happy to see you as you had hoped.

“What’s wrong? I promise I won’t steal your designs and send them to Prada.” You joke, leaning over to the side to try and see behind him. He leans with you, nearly tripping over himself to guard your sight.

He laughs a nervous chuckle, “I know, it’s just-baby, wait-“ you stand and move to his side of the table and finally catch a closer glimpse at what he’s guarding and a soft gasp leaves your lips.

“Mark,” he lets out a sigh and his head drops in defeat, “is that?”

“I was going to surprise you with it. I wanted to show you how much you’ve been on my mind since I’ve been away for so long preparing for fashion week.” He finally moves to step away from the dress form and towards you, and the wedding dress comes into your sight.

“It’s not done, this is just the sample so it’s not pretty but-“

He’s cut off by your arms wrapped around his neck tightly. Happy tears stain the neckline of his t-shirt as he holds you close.

“Baby, are you crying?”

You sniffle and look up at him, “Of course I’m crying! I love you so much, Mark Lee.” You say before landing a soft kiss he reciprocates immediately on his lips.

“I love you too.” He says softly looking into your teary eyes.

For the next hour Mark walks you through the plans he has for the dress, showing you samples of the satin silk and the lace he’s planning to use for different portions of the garment, allowing you to even pick out the buttons he’ll fix on the back. Two beers down and a lot of smiles and kisses later, you’re sure you made the right decision by spoiling his surprise.

[boxturret]

"One Sec Lol"

[disclaimer]I'm not insulting anyone's work on the project, everyone did amazing work and the project was shaping up to be amazing with everything I had seen.

I worked on the fan game Bionicle Masks of Power for nearly 2 years. I worked really hard on it, learned many things, used a lot of programs I'd never done before, actually worked up the nerve to use a mic for the first time, etc. Over time I got promoted to the head of two departments, 3d art and level design, basically because I was around a lot and kept things organised.

Then one day, with a "One sec lol" I was completely demoted, in a dehumanising, buzzword filled message. It called working on the game a "Journey". Now the reason I was demoted I won't really dispute, I was under a lot of stress, and sometimes I'd get upset, but these things don't happen in a vacuum, I don't get stressed for no reason.

The team was for the most part a bunch of really good, talented people that I enjoyed working with immensely, but there were some who were more focused on the glory (of making a free fan game for a 20 year old dead toy line... look, getting 200k views on the teaser went to their heads) so there was this constant push to get things...not done, because that wasn't really their concern, it was get things in a state where they could be shown off. And not a "here's a work in progress asset" sort of shown off, a "2 Paragraphs of fluff about the game, talking like it's already done, not actually mentioning the assets we're meant to be showing off" sort of thing.

The image in this tweet was meant to show off the newly (semi) completed UI, you know, that thing on the edge you can't see?

The 80/20 rule seemed foreign to them, where 80% of the work takes 20% of the time, and the final 20% of the work takes 80%, so someone would get a quick rough draft of an asset done in like a day, and they'd start pushing us to get it complete so we could show off, even though it would normally be months for something to get there.

This image here, of Pohatu in the desert. Do you know what it was supposed to show off? If you guessed the desert, no! That whole scene was thrown together by one person in like a day, it's completely fake, no work had been done on the desert at all. It was supposed to show off the Toa, as we'd just reached a pretty big milestone of completing and texturing all the parts and most importantly the masks. You know, that tiny thing that's facing away from the screen?

Originally the idea was to just show off the Toa in all their glory in their biome, but it mutated in to that...thing. There was work on a second one, but everyone finally realised that it was just looking bad so it was cancelled, thankfully.

This constant push to get things done to show off was so pervasive, and always seemed to fall on my shoulders, being the 3d art and level design lead, even though the real bottle neck was programming. We only had 3-4 programmers of very limited availability. When I first joined the team as a 3d artist I was basically given makework tasks to do, things of no real consequence, most of which got thrown out. (why make random set dressing objects for Ta-Koro, a place that hasn't even been roughly sketched out yet, for example)

This only got worse when I was put in charge of level design. The levels themselves are the prime thing to show off things in, so there was this constant push to get the levels finished, which I always pushed back against because, and I need to really stress this, the game was in a suuuper early state, and still is. If you've played the stand alone game Trials of the Great Spirit, that area was initially supposed to be the intro to BMOP proper, but the gameplay evolved so much that it became unplayable. At one point there was even the suggestion of keeping the TOGS area with the old player movement. As this was supposed to be the player movement tutorial this was dire and shows the danger of putting work in to making a level look nice too early, you run in to the sunk cost fallacy. Making a level look nice takes a lot of work, it's very fiddly, moving around little decorative objects and getting textures right, and you don't want to have to redo it a lot, which is why most games are blocked out first, meaning that the basic level geometry is created with basic shapes, and once everything is refined then they move on to actually making it look nice. As level design lead I insisted that we do this, because most previous attempts at making levels had spent way too much time worrying about the looks.

One of the first things I was tasked with as a 3d artist was to make a series of modular tree bits:

I was given nothing but a pair of images as guides of what they wanted.

So I worked really hard to try and make a modular system that would allow some interesting level layouts. Once I made the rough version pictured do you know what I was asked to do? Texture it. Make them in to final assets. No testing at all, no time to see if they'd work for the levels they wanted, nothing. Just rough>final for platforming assets immediately.

Well I knew that if I did that it would just end up getting tossed out eventually so I refused, and guess what? These were made before the movement refactoring so they're completely useless now![emphasis added because people keep missing the important part]

So now you see why making sure everything was finalized before doing final art was so important, which is why I would always fight against moving on to set dressing in the demo, because the demo wasn't and still isn't done, not even close. Having been put in that situation where I was told to work on something that would inevitably be tossed out later, I didn't want to put anyone in the teams I was responsible for in that situation, it's not like there wasn't a shortage of things to work on anyway.

Basically I was put in the situation where I had to constantly say no to all these, I'll call them what they were, marketing ideas, due to the game not actually being in the state it was being presented as. The video released on 8/10 this year was cobbled together from a bunch of unfished assets, barely functioning in an area that was designed just as a goal for set dressing to reach in a real level. It took the poor dev who had a computer good enough to run it hundreds of playthroughs until they got one good enough to show off, avoiding most of the bugs. And now seeing all this, know that I had to spend literal DAYS trying to convince everyone we should have that tiny disclaimer on the screen (every one else was worried about the aesthetics).

So this was the source of most of my stress, trying to focus on making a game while fighting against those that wanted instead to act like we had made a game. That's what lead to my stress and occasional outbursts, and me just in general getting fed up with working on the game.

After I was demoted, for the next week or so I was miserable. The way it was done just completely destroyed any sort of comfort I had in the team. I'm very shy and introverted, it takes me a long time to warm up to people or a place, and when something like that happens, it's all gone in an instant.

I didn't feel comfortable in the chats anymore so I left, I tried to explain myself to the person who demoted me and they just ignored me for several days at a time, leaving it to all spiral out of control in my head, another person said conflicting things that just made it worse. "It's not a punitive measure" "We appreciate your work" "You should be thanking me you didn't just get kicked off entirely" forcing me to grovel at their feet etc. It was all so much.

The final straw, and what got me kicked off, was do do with a document I had spent 9 months creating, that outlined a possible way of structuring the whole game. Before I started trying to get some structure in to it, the game design just seemed to be a big question mark. 6 playable characters needing to collect 11 upgrades, it's quite a complex thing that doesn't really track to any other game I've seen. The first version, Legacy, was simply a fully open map with the masks scattered about, but that wouldn't do with the level of detail and gameplay complexity we were aiming for. I eventually worked out something I thought would work, using a system of context sensitive gates, and I wrote and did many diagrams on the subject.

After I was kicked out of the leads, not a week later they announced big sweeping changes that were basically what I had been pushing for for months. There was something I was unclear on, a sort of gate for Kopaka involving wind, and I asked what it was. The new level design lead, the person who I had explained the concept of gates too, then proceeded to tell me what a gate was.

This was it. I was done. A week after I get kicked off the lead team and I'm treated like I didn't do anything. Then later I was confronted by another lead, and forced to post PROOF that I'd actually posted this document I'd spent 9 months publicly working on, that we'd had a whole meeting about with the story team, the document that got me promoted to level design lead.

In the moment, was too much for me, with everything going on with the game project and stuff in my personal life being stressful at the time, I genuinely didn't want to be around anymore, it was too much for me, I wanted to disappear. I tried to tell one of the leads this, and was ignored, I tried to speak openly to the team about it, I was censored, probated, then the next day, before I'd even woke up, kicked off the team. For being "negative". I was then told that if I didn't want things I'd made to be used I could ask them, but the only things they listed were the makuta totems and some jungle assets which I didn't even know what they meant.

So 2 years of work, and all I'd done for them by their account was a noodle and some wood.

[clarification]I'm not implying that they stole anything or are using assets without my permission, it's more that I've worked on this game for nearly 2 years and made sooo many things, yet all they could list were the things I did in the past month. Sorry for any confusion.

Just keep working like a good little drone, no matter how much disrespect we throw at you. This is Team Kanohi.

I wanted to put this all behind me, but someone on the team had the gall to request the very document I was accused of pretending to have made (I mean who ever asked for it on the team, not who asked me personally, just to be clear) , so I'm just so fed up with them. I was paying to host the bulk of the parts and 3d assets out of my own pocket, and it took them like a month to bother moving things, by which time I got charged.

Here's a quick overview of some of the things I worked on, it's not comprehensive at all, it barely mentions the atlas system, but I'm so emotionally drained that I don't really want to bother with all that. It's also not just a noodle and some bits of wood though.

I want to reiterate that I genuinely enjoyed working with most of the people on the team, and I wish them well.

I just want to add one more note: I was personally asked to join the team, I was asked to be 3D art lead, I was asked to take on the Level design leadership role, and even after I was demoted it was still seemingly thought that I would do everything I had been doing up until that point. I never asked for these roles, I accepted them because I believed in the game project and wanted to do everything in my power that I could to make the game as good as it could be.

[theficpusher]

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx | M | 185369 For her part, Jay took everything in her stride, barely batting an eyelid when Louis came into the kitchen the night Harry left and said, “I seem to have accidentally become the pack’s Alpha”. Ever since Harry left town, Louis’ found himself with the role of pack Alpha, despite being human. So he can’t wait to hand over the reins when Harry returns. Except, it’s not quite that simple… OR The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

the school of extraordinary lovers by stylinsoncity | M | 191036 "We keep telling the other, I love you and I love you, and we do, though we both know where the knives are." - Laura Van Prooyen harry is a third-year witch and violinist at Laitswold, the only magical academy in the UK, with dreams of taking on the world, and hopefully breaking the centuries-old curse on his family while he's at it. he does not dream of facing off against his childhood rival and duet partner, but louis is back in town after six years abroad, so that's exactly what happens.

Darling, so it goes by disgruntledkittenface | E | 195312 Harry Styles is a world-famous actor at the height of his career but a personal low point when he meets His Serene Highness Prince Louis of Monaco by chance. He doesn’t think they’ll ever see each other again, but after striking up a correspondence, it turns out they have more in common than he thought. Then they start to fall for each other. Louis is different from anyone Harry has dated before and their relationship moves fast as Harry realizes he’s ready for a change. Soon Harry finds himself adapting to an entirely new life, in a country where he doesn’t know the rules, the customs, even the language. Harry is used to people underestimating him, and he’s more determined than ever to prove them wrong. He just needs Louis to meet him halfway. Grace Kelly AU.

Angels Fly by LilyBlue28 | nr | 203082 Harry is a lonely omega in the North Western White River Pack who is uncharacteristically drawn to nature and his now outdated primal instincts. He fills his days with going through the motions and clinging to the one actual friendship he has in the omega Zayn, and when he gets a chance he sneaks away to the edge of their territory to sit with the trees and the wildlife and sketch his favorite part of the river. But what happens when one day he spots the pack alpha, Louis, having an intimate moment with something, or someone, unexpected? Suddenly his quiet, nearly invisible existence gets upended, and secrets he never wanted to know quite literally won't leave him alone, and even when he tries to stay away, he keeps being pulled back into Louis' turbulent orbit. A magical love story featuring a generations long grudge, a menacing curse, and secrets that keep pulling them apart. Will they be able to find a way back to one another through the dark?

Collision by itjustkindahappened | E | 226294 Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other. (Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

You Can Hear It In The Silence by Imogenlee | E | 234846 When Harry Styles received acceptance into a post-grad degree, he knew he could no longer afford his flat leaving him with three options: 1) Moving back into student halls. 2) Becoming homeless. 3) Moving in with his best (and only) friend, Niall, and three of Niall's other friends. He ended up choosing the third option. But it was a close race. Shame one of his new housemates reminded him why he only has one friend. If Louis Tomlinson had to choose one thing couldn't stand, it would be pretentious tossers, having grown up around enough of them. If he had to choose something he couldn't live without, it would be his friends. So he was proper thrilled to move in with his best mates and a couple of other lads. That was until he discovered one of them was the archetype for a pretentious tosser. In the interest of seeing out the twelve-month lease without killing each other, they both try (debatable) to get along despite believing they were opposite in almost every conceivable way, each having the communication skills of a cucumber, and secrets that had no business be kept secret.

The Things I Don't Ask by thisonegoes | E | 266670 Foster Montgomery Preparatory School is a sight to behold. Beautiful buildings in front of a beautiful Appalachian backdrop, a rich history, behind wrought iron gates with the carefully chosen Latin motto at the very top: “strenuis ardua cedunt.” “The heights yield to endeavor.” The price tag for such a distinguished and revered institution, for tuition, room, and board is $56,250. A year. A boarding school AU that features two boys who can never say how they really feel.

Remember Me Before You by kingsofeverything | E | 293820 Desperate to find a new place to live after he comes home to find his boyfriend cheating, Harry moves into a loft with three strangers. A New Girl AU.

Of Mates and Men by bananaheathen | E | 630460 In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

[rapid-artwork]

After honing my cartoon-ing skills a bit further, I've moved on to making some new characters for a secret project. Studying the Cartoon Network™ style has paid off.

Names subject to chance, but for now let's meet Charlie and Penny.

Charlie (Lee to his friends, Charlie to his teachers, Charles to his parents whenever he is in trouble.) He is the ultimate big brother. He just turned 13 and is convinced that he is the coolest person to ever exist. He even has his own Palm Pilot Handi-Man™ 20X6! He definitely didn't steal it from his dad's office, so don't even ask!

His RCA-Lyra Portable Music Player™ is filled to capacity with all the hottest MP3s. (Literally just the Kingdom Hearts OST and nothing else.) He knows all the cheat codes to every Sega Dreamcast game, and just last week he got to see his first PG-13 movie! (Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World, he hasn't seen the first one and probably isn't aware it exists.) He was very brave and only cried a few times!

He spent all of his allowance on a pair of ripped jeans but his mom made him sew patches on the knees so his legs wouldn't get cold.

He can and will die for Penny at the drop of hat.

Penny: (Short for Penelope, but she tells everybody that it's short for "Dollar", exactly 99 cents short. She's very proud of that joke and tells it everybody.)

She is the ultimate little sister. She is 10 years old and is very nervous about what happens when you are too old to count your age on your fingers. She loves playing with her dolls, and listening to her favorite death metal band, 𝕲𝕺𝕺𝕱𝖄 𝕺𝕮𝕿𝕺𝕭𝕰𝕽 (Goofy October; the most intense PG rated death metal band in all of Canada.)

She has a bad relationship with the local dentist because she refuses to stop chewing on the cool rocks she finds in the woods behind her school. She has destroyed multiple retainers with great prejudice and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon.

Literally everyone loves Penny and finds it impossible to say a bad word about her no matter how hard they try. Every single person in town is terrified of what might happen if she gets too sad. It is foretold in the ancient scriptures that if Penny cries for more than 60 seconds the entire world comes to a violent end.

These two are gonna be protagonists in a fun little video game I'm pitching. It will be very weird.

In process sketches I made in designing their character below the cut:

Charlie had Johnny Bravo energy from the beginning. It was pivotal that he wasn't just "cool" but specifically what a 13 year old THINKS is "cool"

Penny's design was nearly perfect from the get-go, but I had to get the hair just right. She feels like a mix of every single KND character and I like that.

[kittykatkatelol2]

"Hey, Jamie" Jegulus Microfic

(Part 1/2)

Warning: mcd (but not really- you'll see.)

-

James sat in Regulus's old bedroom, looking through old journals and letters, old paintings and drawings. All things Regulus had and did in his youth and hid away.

James was silently crying as he went through the items, smiling through the tears as he tried to interpret what half of the items even meant, and all the memories some of the items must have carried.

It had been three years since Regulus disappeared without a trace.

The only one who claimed to know what happened, was Kreacher, and he wouldn't say. Said it was 'too horrible to ever want to speak of, to ever relive'.

James would never know what came of his fiancé.

The fiancé who he swore that he would always love, to take care of, to be there for; James hated that he couldn't keep his promise.

Hated himself because of all people, James should have been the one to protect Regulus, from whatever took his Reggie from him.

It made him bitter.

But now was not the time for bitterness, now was a time to delve into Regulus's past and youth, to try to learn even more about his lost love.

James sat there for hours, looking though photo albums, paintings Regulus did, journals of Regulus's, Regulus's old (sad boy) poetry, letters that, he, James, wrote to Regulus that Regulus kept, old sketches Regulus drew, the clothes he had in his closet, before and after transition, all the old books Regulus had owned (that James mostly found extremely boring and would never read in a million life times), and so on and so forth.

Then James heard something.

The front door opening, then closing.

"Sirius must be here, for some reason.." James thought to himself, for no one besides Sirius, James, and Remus, (and the Black sisters) knew how to get into this place.

James listened as someone walked up the steps.

James thought it was Sirius going into his old room, but then the door to Regulus's old room, where James was, opened with a creak.

James looked around, and nearly fainted.

Standing there, pale as a ghost, scarred beyond belief, clothes torn, battered, and bloodied, black hair a complete mess and unkempt, skinny as hell, and empty looking, was Regulus Arcturus Black.

"Hello, Potter- er, hey, Jamie."

-

[Word count: 367]

[filmbyjy]

jake – bad boys

— bad boys main masterlist

pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader

summary: jake, a playboy and the guy that has all the girls swooned. even you. jake never knew of your existence until sunghoon pointed you out while you were on the bench sketching something. jake realises he never played with you before and that leads to you being part of sunghoon and jake's evil bet.

warnings: playboy jake, suggestive contents (but no smut because wtf i can't write it) - i said the word 'sex' like once but nothing bad, jake is a really shitty person (obviously doesn't portray jake in real life and there is a decent amount of angst in here (read my note to understand why i say so)

no.of words: 7.8K words

taglist: @nyfwyeonjun @ncityy04 @cutiejseong @minkyeos @madebyreyy (@onyourecha) @yuakagi @hoonstrology @luvrjn @kawaiisharkcopjudge @missmadwoman @aerinaga @jiwlys @wtfhyuck @astrosmistisa @woniesbakery @purplepuppychild

NOTE: won't lie while rereading to proofread this again, i nearly teared up because i realised how much angst there is. especially towards the end. a tear almost slipped guys. i'm surprised that i can write decently to the point that while rereading it i can nearly cry at my own work

sim jaeyun, the guy every girl would love to be under in many ways possible and yes i meant every possible way, as disgusting as it sounds. a master flirt and a big playboy. he also happens to be the captain of the school’s soccer team but even with a ‘bad reputation’ the coaches weren’t allowed to do anything. jaeyun was the ace in soccer after all.

now you might be wondering when this poor boy started this whole bad boy antics.

“9th grade.” jake says. yes, you heard that right. our ‘hero’ started his playboy journey in 9th grade. All the poor 14 year old girls he played with in that grade. He never knew what happened to them considering he moved schools after that. Which was how it always went, play with every girl in his grade and then his parents would move him to another school.

But of course, jake didn’t expect to actually stay in this school for 2 years now. maybe it was because they had no other schools to enrol him in and they were left with no choice but to face the consequences of their son’s inappropriate acts. Anyways, jake found friends that he grew close with, 6 other boys who equally shared quite the same experience and feeling.

“hey, did you forget the coach wanted to see you today?” sunghoon asks as he slings his arm around jake’s shoulder.

“whoops, kinda tired from last night.” jake says. sunghoon smirks.

“From another one of your side chicks or the job from last night. I mean, you two have been going at it until 4am after we completed our job. I heard she’s like a nerd or something.”

“yeah, she’s in my calculus class. easy to manipulate her really. I simply told her i needed help with calculus and she instantly helped. the usual jake charm works as always.” jake laughs.

“bet she’s gonna cling onto you.” sunghoon says.

“all the girls i’ve been with want to cling onto me.”

“but because you don’t do commitment, you ghost them. yeah, yeah i know. you’ve said this like a bunch of times.” sunghoon says.

“that’s the sim jaeyun move for you.” he winks. sunghoon gags.

“never wink at me again dude.” jake laughs.

“HYUNNGGGGGGG.” sunoo yells.

“yeah?” both sunghoon and jake answer.

“jay hyung got into a fight again.”

“he really needs to control his anger issues.” sunghoon says.

“that’s jay on the daily.” jake shrugs. both jake and sunghoon ran over to help jay.

As for you, our heroine of the story, you so happened to listen to jake and sunghoon’s convo. you knew jake was a playboy and he openly was so proud of it but that didn’t stop you from falling into his charms. you were i guess blinded by love. you knew jake better than he did probably and it was actually scary to think about it.

Sometimes you felt like you were a stalker or a pervert for knowing such deep secrets on jake. you knew this was an obsession but you loved jake so that didn’t matter. Having heard that jake and sunghoon were out to help jay, you decided to make your way over to the scene of the fight.

students were gathering around jay as he punched the guy in the face.

“i don’t like guys like you. bullying others for fun? how would you like it if i bullied you instead hmm?” jay says. jay gets ready to punch the guy when sunghoon grabs jay.

“Alright buddy, that’s enough of causing trouble. your dad needs to clear out your name now or else the cops will get suspicious of us.” sunghoon whispers. jay grunts.

“this isn’t over.” jay says as he glares at the guy. jake sighs.

“hey bud, i suggest you don’t inform the teachers. they can’t even do jackshit because they know who we are.” jake says. the bully gets ready to launch at jake. jake pulls out his gun. 

“cool design huh? wouldn’t want this to be the last thing you see.” jake tilts his head whilst pouting. the bully cowers in fear, there weren’t many students along the hallway but those who witness the scene surely ran away. “run along hmm?”

The bully runs away. sunghoon sighs.

“you know, you don’t have to show your gun. your toy gun by the way.” sunghoon says. jake snickers.

“it gives me power and besides, everyone believes it’s real.”

“you and your obsession with collecting old guns.”

“If you fix it, it can be put into good use.” jake explains. the bell rings.

“class is starting, jay you should probably get to the nurse. after all, wouldn’t want the teacher to be distracted with the blood on your shirt and face.” sunghoon says.

“yeah yeah, i know. just cover for me if they ask.”

“as if they care about our whereabouts. every faculty member knows who we are.” jake says. sunghoon snickers.

“yeah, you’ll be fine jay.” jay rolls his eyes.

“just fucking get to class idiots.” jay says. as for you, you left earlier since you didn’t want to be late to class. sure, you were sort of a normal typical school girl but you didn’t exactly want to fail your classes and get scolded by the teacher so you went to class early.

sunghoon and jake enters the class. these two have been in your class since forever, they didn’t know you because you were usually quiet and always listening to the teacher. you were a good girl per say. since it’s jake and sunghoon, they only went with their fangirls. they loved the attention and didn’t care about other people who put no effort to pay attention to them. you do have a crush on jake but you knew, there was no way you’d ever cross paths with him.

It was lunchtime and since you were all alone, you’d spend your time having lunch on the rooftop. It was like your comfort place. you made your way to your locker to dump your items and grab your lunch box. nothing really special ever happened but you did look forward to after school where you’d watch the football/soccer team play and practice.

you were an assistant since the coach was your dad and since he was the coach, the both of you always went home together, which was great since you didn’t exactly like staying at home all the time.

“Here, my little angel. a small task for you to do,” your dad hands you a name list. you rolled your eyes.

“dad, you’re the coach. aren’t you supposed to be doing the name calling?”

“(name), you should be acquainted with these boys. after all, i am their coach.” your dad says.

“fine, i’ll make this quick since i have to study.”

“my angel, i know you don’t always study after school. especially, if it’s practice day.” your dad smiles. you blush. your dad knew you best and of course, he knew you had a crush on jake. the captain of the team he is coaching.

your dad did feel a sense of protectiveness over you considering he isn’t dumb and has heard the rumours of jake being a playboy and also part of a gang. he didn’t want you to be associated to someone like jake but who is he to stop you from falling in love.

the football team finally came out of their locker room after changing into a more sporty attire. you breathed in.

“alright, boys. (name), will be here to call out your names. after all, she’s our assistant.” your dad says.

“yes, coach.” the boys say. you called out each boy’s names.

“jake?” you say. silence. you called him again and to no avail he didn’t respond back.

“sorry, coach.” jake ran. you marked him down for being late. your dad ruffles your hair.

“jaeyun, you’re the captain. please show a good example to the others.”

“sorry, i’ll come on time.” sunghoon pats jake’s back. the training starts and of course, as per usual, the boys would be gossiping and chattering amongst themselves since this is what they did every practice session.

“Hey cap, where did you go?” minho asks. jake smirks.

“oh, i know that look. you madeout with another girl didn’t you?” wooyoung says.

“well, he is sim jaeyun. certified playboy and only the best captain.” sunwoo says (before anyone says he is sunwoo from the boyz). The boys laugh and as for you who overheard, just silently sighed.

‘why do you even bother liking him (name), you’ll only become one of his playtoys.’

you simply just grabbed your sketchbook and started working on your art project. the wind blew in your face and since your hair was down, you decided to tie up your hair in a messy bun. it caught a few of the boys at the field's attention.

“you know, i realise i never played with her.” jake says. sunghoon turns his head over at your figure. he snorts.

“you know, she likes you.” sunghoon says. jake smirks.

“oh really?”

“yeah, she sort of stalks you around the school. i’m pretty sure she’s in our class too.”

“interesting.” sunghoon notices the look on jake’s face. he smirks.

“bet you could get in her pants and break her heart?” sunghoon says. jake almost laughs out loud.

“of course, it’s my specialty.” jake says. the training went on, then the coach declared a small break because they had been going at it for 3 hours non-stop. jake grabs his bottle and settles down next to you. he looks over your shoulder and notices the drawing you did.

“nice drawing.” you squeaked and jumped back clutching your chest.

“hi, i’m jake but sometimes people call me jaeyun.” jake smiles as he holds out his hand for you to shake. you weren’t so sure what kind of cruel joke jake was playing but it felt like the air shifted when the both of you met. “I see, sorry i scared you didn't i. i can’t help but notice the drawing. Is that supposed to be me?”

you looked down at your sketchbook and up at jake. your eyes widened before you hid your sketchbook.

“sorry, it must be weird to have someone draw you.” jake chuckles at your words.

“not at all. In fact, it looks really good. you really captured my face really well, how long have you been staring at it to perfect the drawing hmm?” jake teases. You were at lost for words that your jaw drops. “I’m kidding.”

“jake, let’s continue practicing!” wooyoung yells.

“Coming!” he turns back to you. “stay a little while hmm? i need to give you my number.”

“w-what?” jake runs off before you could even question him.

your dad comes up to you.

“i see my sweet daughter has finally captured the attention of our captain.”

“Dad!” you whisper yelled. your dad chuckles.

“but be warned, i’m sure you’ve heard a bunch of rumours about jake. whether it is true or not would be up to you because you are the one allowing him to get close to you.”

“dad..”

“i’m looking out for my daughter. my only precious daughter. after all, i have to act like both like your mom and your dad. I play two roles.”

“mom would have been proud, dad.” you say. your dad smiles.

“she would but she would also scold me because i’m allowing you to hang out with boys.”

“you know she would’ve encouraged it dad.”

“you’re right.” your dad ruffles your hair, “okay kiddo, you should continue with your drawing. you have to submit it soon.”

“it’s due in a week dad.”

“yes but drawing takes a lot of time and detai-” you showed your dad your half completed drawing. “okay, nevermind. Take your time. you have really inherited your mom’s talent for drawing.”

“thanks dad.”

“coach! can we play a round now?” jake yells.

“sure but be fair. maybe play some rock, paper scissors to choose the teams. it’s fair and efficient. then the loosing team can learn from the winning team’s strengths and try to improve on yourself from there.”

“alright, thanks coach!”

“do you think any of them know that i’m your daughter?” you asked your dad.

“oh sweetie, i think if any of them knew i was your dad. they’d try to get far from you. after all, i do scare them.”

“great decision dad.” you gave him a thumbs up.

“i only want what’s best for my precious girl.”

time flies by quickly and before you know it, it was already 6pm. the boys went to shower to rinse off the sweat before going home and possibly doing homework or playing games.

“hey, do you wanna walk home together?” jake asks. your heart races. walking home? with jake? alone? a dream come true-

“let’s go (name)- jake! i thought you went home already.” your dad says.

“oh sorry coach, i was supposed to meet up with (name). I wanted to walk her home. are you and (name) going home together?” jake curiously asks. your dad turns to you.

dad please

“her dad wanted me to drive her home since we are friends but since you’d like to accompany her, i’ll just tell him that her friend is walking with her home.” your dad says. oh thank god, your dad certainly was the best. jake smiles.

“oh really? that’s great.” jake turns to you, “you wanna walk together still? the coach is friends with your dad and i’m sure since the coach trusts me, your dad would trust me too right?”

“y-yeah.” curse you, jake. you hated how you always stumbled over your words when you talk to him.

“Perfect! Thanks coach for telling (name)’s dad!”

“any time.” your dad says. is jake really that dumb and he doesn’t realise your dad was standing in front of the both of you, “but can i speak to (name) first?”

“Of course, coach.” jake says. your dad gestures for you. you went over.

“make sure he doesn’t try anything okay?” your dad whispers.

“dad!”

“i’m just looking out for you, it’s a dad instinct.”

“dad, i love you but let me have a small chance, okay?” your dad sighs.

“alright angel, i’ll make dinner. want anything in particular?” he whispers.

“the usual?”

“alright kiddo.” your dad turns to jake, “alright, see you tomorrow. we have training again in the afternoon.”

“yes sir!” jake says. with that, both you and jake left. it was a casual walk home, jake asked you question about yourself and you’d answer them.

“your dad sounds like the nicest person.”

“thanks.” you literally just met him and he’s your coach but okay.

“what about your mom?”

“Hmm?”

“you haven’t really mention much about her.”

“ah, my mom passed on.”

“oh, i’m so sorry.”

“it’s fine.”

“If you don’t mind, can i ask how?”

“i was supposed to not actually be born. i was a premature baby and had very low chances of survival after i was born. my mom unfortunately passed on due to complications after giving birth to me and i somehow actually surpassed all doctor’s expectations of survival. everyday, i grew until i was healthy enough to go home with my dad. my dad does call me a miracle baby because maybe my mom died because she wanted to save me.”

“wow.”

“Is it too much info? i feel like i ramble a lot everytime i talk about my life.”

“no, your story was touching.” jake smiles, you smiled too. After walking for a while, you finally made it to your house.

“well, this is my house. thank you for walking me home.” you say. you were about to walk off when jake holds onto your wrist.

“wait.” you turned to jake. “(name), i know it’s a little early but i really liked spending time with you. would allow me to court you?” you wanted to faint on the spot right there then.

“jake.”

“please?” you shyly nodded and with that jake pecks your cheek. “oh thanks for your number, i’ll text you later. goodnight!” jake runs off. you giggle. oh you were down bad for him.

you entered your home and the first thing you see is your dad with a big smile on his face.

“I heard what happened! this calls for a celebration with alcohol!”

“dad, i’m a minor!”

“right, i’ll give you grape juice and i’ll drink the wine.” you laughed at your dad who excitedly ran to get the items for dinner.

- jake❤️: goodnight cutie ;)

your heart soars at jake’s text.

- you: thanks jake, goodnight

- jake❤️: see you tmr and maybe in your dreams ;)

- you: i’ll see you tmr and no i won’t dream of you

- jake❤️: are you sure ;))

- you: shut up you tease

- jake❤️: oh baby, i’m joking

- you: fuck you

- jake❤️: oh? the good girl knows her bad words? baby, you should watch your language

- you: what are you going to do?

- jake❤️: shut you up with a kiss for saying bad words ;)

“oh god, jake!” you hit your pillows before hiding your face.

- you: i said you can court me but that doesn’t mean you can kiss me idiot

- jake❤️: oh baby, i’m sure you’re dying to kiss me

- you: not at all

- jake❤️: ouch, alright :( see you tmr i guess [11:45pm]

why did that sound so bad. maybe you should apologise

- you: hey jake?

- jake❤️: yes baby?

- you: typing…

what should you type…

- you: goodnight jakey❤️

your heart pounds as you watched jake typing in his message.

- jake❤️: fuck, you made my heart skip a beat, baby. now, i really can’t wait to see you.

- you: sleep jake -_-

- jake❤️: fine :(( sleep well my love❤️

“FUCK.” you screamed.

“(name) language!” your dad yells.

“SORRY DAD!” you yelled back. you looked back at the last message jake sent and finally laid on your bed.

“i am so down bad.” you told yourself.

The next morning, you had rushed out because well…you wanted to meet jake.

“see you in school later, dad, i love you!” you threw on your shoes and opened the door, only to be greeted by jake. your jaw drops.

“hi.” jake says.

“hey, jake. umm, what are you doing here?”

“i umm, wanted to walk with you to school.”

“oh, sure. let’s go then.” you smiled. both you and jake went to school together, you were happily talking to him and he listened attentively. at some point while you were talking, jake holds your hand.

“you are so adorable when you ramble on and on.” jake says. you blush. jake swings your hand around as you made it to school. everyone and i mean everyone who saw you two enter the school together started gossiping.

“oh poor, (name). she doesn’t know jake is a playboy.” one of the girls say. they truly pitied you, you were about to become one of jake’s next playtoy.

jake brings you over to your locker.

“i have last minute morning practice today so unfortunately, i won’t be in class. you won’t miss me right cutie?”

“not at all.” you say. jake clenches his heart.

“ouch. i’m very hurt, i thought you’d miss me.” you pushed jake slightly.

“just go.” jake smiles and waves to you before he leaves.

you decided to settle at your seat, a few girls come up to you. they looked worried for you.

“(name), you should be careful. jake is player, he doesn’t look around for commitment. he just wants to play with your heart!”

“he is not going to, he walked me home yesterday.”

“your dad allowed him to? doesn’t your dad know how he is, after all he is the coach.”

“he says jake is a nice person, he is hard working too on the field and you know i trust my dad.”

“alright, (name). if you say so, we just don’t want you to become one of jake’s playtoys. that label itself is just bad.” you smiled at your classmates.

“thank you for warning me. I’ll handle this myself and not get too close to jake.” you say. the girls nodded and just got ready for class.

3rd period, you settled down on your chair and jake pulls the chair beside you.

“seat taken?” jake asks. you shook your head. “perfect, get to sit with my favourite girl.”

my favourite girl…right he was seen with other girls. you felt your heart break. you frowned and jake notices.

“hey, what’s wrong?”

“nothing.” you simply say and jake takes notice.

“(name), i’m sure you’ve heard of those rumours…while yes, i possibly talked to other girls, i didn’t break their hearts by leading them on. I rejected them because i had my eyes set on someone.”

“who?” you asked, slightly annoyed.

“you.” and…there goes your heart. jake surely knew a way with his words, pure talent. the teacher enters the room and so you got your books out. however, as you got your books out, your pencil drops. you went to pick it up but so does jake.

“thanks.” you say. jake doesn’t answer, instead his finger lays under your chin. he pulled you closer.

“can i kiss you?” in class? well, you’ve never kissed anyone so this would be your first time, getting kissed by sim jaeyun, your crush. you nod slightly and that’s all it took for jake to lean in.

thank god, you were sitting at the back of the class. once jake pulls away, he leaves one last peck on your lips and sits straight up so the teacher wouldn’t suspect a thing. during the whole class, jake held onto your hand and you felt like your heart was going to burst any second now.

he writes something down and slips the paper on your desk.

- be mine? yes or no?

you smiled reading the note. you looked around the class and then turned to jake once you realised everyone was still concentrating. you left a peck on his cheeks and whispered

“yes.” jake smiles. something about this made his heart leap, unlike the other times he played with the girls. end of class, you packed your stuff and then jake pulls you to where his friends usually sat for lunch.

Once you made it to the table, all eyes were on you. jay, who you shared 1 class with and he was your seatmate, had his eyes widened.

“(name)?”

“hi jay.” you smiled. jay darts to look at both you and jake and finally the intertwined hands.

oh no, (name)...you are going to get played. jake does not like you like that.

“boys, this is my girlfriend, (name).” jake proudly says. sunghoon smirks, something that got you curious, why was he smirking?

“you finally decided to settle down?” jay asks.

“yeah, i thought it was immature of me to fool around with girls. Besides, (name) was the one who made me realise how wrong i was.” jake turns to you. you blush under his gaze. what you don’t fail to notice is how none of them believed jake’s words. Not after sunghoon was smirking at you like how he was whenever he started a bet with jake.

Unlike jake and sunghoon, the other 5 boys actually know that their coach was your dad. they would’ve told the both of them but…where is the fun of letting them discover themselves and get what they deserve?

“hey dude, can i talk to your girl for a bit?” jay asks.

“for?”

“Well i need to ask her about homework.”

“you can ask her now with me around. what’s so important that you want to have a private conversation with?” jake says.

“I borrowed her notes and it’s in my locker. I don’t have any other classes with her after this and we also have practice after school.”

“alright.” you went to stand up and follow jay but jake holds your hand.

“are you going to watch us after school?”

“of course.” you smiled. jake smiles too and lets your hand go.

once you left, heeseung folds his arm.

“she’s your new playtoy?”

“yeah. how was my acting?”

“Perfect.” sunghoon says. Both jake and sunghoon high five.

“hyung, you’re going to regret whatever you are doing.” sunoo says. jake rolls his eyes.

“oh really? but i’ve been doing this to other girls! and yet.” jake fake pouts, “i have no slightest bit of regret at all.” jake’s tone drips with sarcasm. sunoo rolls his eyes.

“jake hyung, sunoo hyung is right…you don’t know what you’ve started.” ni-ki says.

“why the fuck are you guys on (name)’s side? she’s just another normal ugly ass girl.” sunghoon says.

“Forget it. Do whatever you want but don’t come running to me and jay because you messed up. we have our reasons why we never dared to hurt (name).” heeseung says before he grabs his bag and leaves the cafeteria.

“why is he so dramatic.” jake says. the only one laughing was sunghoon.

“both you and sunghoon hyung can eat. i’m going to catch heeseung hyung.” jungwon says.

“Me and ni-ki are going to the field.” sunoo says. ni-ki follows sunoo.

As for you and jay…

“(name), i know you’re a really sweet girl but i’m sorry jake is just to play with you.”

“i know.”

“then why are you still with him?”

“because i like him.”

“(name), don’t tell me you are willing to get your heartbroken by jake.”

“yes. maybe, if i get my heartbroken by jake, i’ll finally realise how dumb i was to fall in love with him.”

“why are you torturing yourself.”

“It’s not easy to forget about someone who you’ve been crushing on for over 2 years.”

“of course but are you willing to actually get hurt by jake? If you’ve had a crush on him for 2 years, i’m sure that’s not just a simple crush.”

“you’re right, it's not but i’m willing to hurt myself in an exchange to forget about him completely.”

“why don’t you find another way?”

“jay, thank you for caring about me but i’ll just go with whatever i’ve planned and besides…i’ll get to sort of experience dating jake before he decides to ghost me.”

“yeah but the coach might actually get mad at jake.”

“he doesn’t know that your coach is my dad?”

“Well…him and sunghoon, we kinda just want the both of them to realise it after he breaks your heart. I just wanted to make sure you are okay with jake breaking your heart.”

“Perfectly fine, jay.”

“alright, don’t tell jake and sunghoon about the coach being your dad. it will be more satisfying to see both of them regret their actions.” you giggled.

“some kind of friends you guys are.”

“Well…you should know what we do.”

“I do.”

“Does your dad know about it?”

“Yeah but he doesn’t want to expel you guys because then the soccer team would turn to shit. After all, all 7 of you are the star players.”

“yeah, the coach sure is great.”

“he is my dad after all. He is the most reasonable man out there that i know, which is why my mom married him.”

“I bet anyone would be lucky to marry or date you.” jay says. you smiled.

“not really. i’m just a hopeless girl stuck in an unrequited love.”

“shall we go back?” you felt someone hold your hand and you could tell who it was. you turned to jake. he was fuming.

“Were you flirting with my girlfriend?” jay scoffs at jake’s words.

“I wasn’t, we were talking.”

“looked a lot more like talking. you were smiling and laughing.” jake says. jay puts his hand up.

“you already know i have a crush on my neighbour. I wouldn’t flirt with anyone else.” jay says.

“yeah and you should know your place.” jake glares at jay. you tugged on jake.

“let’s just get to class. it’s starting soon.” jake’s eyes softened after they met yours.

“alright.” both you and jake left the area.

it was about a week later whilst dating jake is when you noticed he started to kinda ghost you. as expected, jake really didn’t care for you. you bitterly laughed.

- you: babe, wanna go out on a date?

- jake❤️: practice, sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you :(

it usually went like that, you knew jake didn’t have practice. He was probably out either doing some illegal shit or he was looking around for another girl to fool with. you walked over to the field to watch the boys practice like usual. Plus, your dad was here and you kinda needed to ask him for some help.

“dad, do you have extra pads?” you asked. your dad smiles.

“forgot to bring some today?”

“no, it came earlier than usual.” your dad grabs his bag and hands you a pouch. He usually brings this pouch around because he knows your period doesn’t really come around in a regular pattern.

“thanks dad. also have you seen jake?”

“ah your boyfriend? unfortunately, it seems like he isn’t here today. I guess he is coming late. Maybe you could look around for him?”

“Alright.” your dad ruffled your hair.

“my big girl, you have a boyfriend now.” you smiled.

you went to the bathroom to deal with your period. after doing so, you went to wash your hand and left the bathroom. then you heard some weird sounds from the staircase nearby. this staircase was also where you and jake did some things…

you turned your head to face the staircase. There you saw jake with some girl. she was familiar, that’s when you realise she was from the cheerleading squad. someone prettier, of course. you felt your heart break every second you stood behind the wall witnessing everything. once jake stops, he leaves one last kiss on the girl’s lips.

“I have practice, beautiful.” the girl whines.

“jakey, please i need you.”

“coach will get mad.”

“will he get mad or are you scared your girlfriend will notice you aren’t there?”

“I could care less about (name).”

“why are you even dating her? you should date me instead.”

“oh baby, i would but you know i don’t do strings attached.”

“then break up with your girlfriend.”

“one more week baby and then i can fool around with you.” jake says.

“urghhh, i hate the bet you and sunghoon devised.”

“sorry baby, rules are rules. besides, sunghoon said he’ll give me $1000 if i date (name) and make her believe so.”

“Well she does believe it so why don’t you break up with her?”

“soon. I have to go now.” the girl sighs.

“Fine but can we at least have sex after your practice?”

“your place?”

“yeah.” jake kisses her again. part of you felt sad, part of you wanted to cry but the whole of you wanted to scream at him. get mad, yell at him. Maybe it was just because it was that time of the month but either way you knew you were mad at jake. you rolled your eyes and went back to the field.

“hey (name).” heeseung smiled. he notices your frown, “what’s wrong.”

“I found out jake is cheating behind my back.”

“shit, are you okay? i’m sorry this happened to you.”

“It’s okay, i know who he is and what he is like. i’m not a fool, i’ve been crushing on him for 2 years and obviously know he is a playboy. I’m just mad at myself for still falling in love with him.”

“so, what are you going to do?”

“act like nothing happened.”

“what why?”

“make him feel guilty. when we break up, i cry, beg him to stay and he would say some mean shit. maybe do some bad shit for him to make him regret.”

“isn’t your dad going to do something?”

“i don’t know. he already knows jake and what he does. he won’t be surprised. of course, as a dad instinct he maybe might punish him or be harder on him but jake will just think it’s because he is the captain.”

“why are you so calm about this?”

“it’s something i knew was too good to be true. jake would never go for someone like me.” you sighed, “i don’t have anything. I might even be worse than nothing. I just-” you felt yourself choking up. A tear falls and you wiped it away as you bitterly chuckle.

“I was never a confident person but i guess dating jake for a week brought out a little confidence in myself.” you took out a cigarette stick out from your pocket.

“you smoke?” heeseung’s eyes widened.

“yeah, when it gets too stressed and right now…i kinda need it. after what i saw.”

“does your dad know about this?”

“no. i don’t always smoke and if i do, i go out to the park to do so.” jake runs into the field. you hid the cigarette bud into your pocket.

“hi baby.” jake pecks your lips. you smiled.

“love, you don’t have anything after practice right?”

“I do, i have some physics homework to do.”

lies. you are going to fuck someone.

“oh, i was going to invite you over to watch a movie with me, since we haven’t had a date in a while.”

“sorry, baby. There are tons of homework that the teacher gave.”

lies again. did he forget we are in the same physics class? the teacher didn’t even assign any homework.

you pout.

“then, it’s okay. maybe another time.” you smiled. you were about to leave when jake holds your wrist.

“where are you going? aren’t you going to watch me practice?”

“I need to study so i have to run to the library.” jake pouts.

“aww but i wanted you to watch.”

“there’s always another time.” you pinched his cheek and giggled.

there won’t be another time…

heeseung watches you leave, he turns to jake.

“where were you? coach was looking for you.”

“with aria. You know the usual.” jake says. heeseung rolls his eyes.

“let’s just practice. I have no time to educate and lecture you on breaking (name)’s heart.” heeseung says. He runs over to the middle of the field where the others were.

another week passes by, jake breaks up with you. Like you predicted while you begged for him to stay, he said a bunch of mean things.

“you thought i’d actually date you? (name) you’re not my type and you never will.”

but hearing him actually say it was painful. you were mad at him but you still had feelings for him, you cried when you came home. since there was no practice, your dad was home. he comforted you, bought you ice cream so you could soothe your heart with it. He hugged you, made you feel better.

when you went to school the next day, the news you heard was shocking but yet you expected it.

“Did you hear? jake is banned from playing in the next few matches.”

“yeah. doesn’t he practically breathe soccer? that’s his passion. why did the coach just ban him.”

You went to class. jake was sitting there, the spark in his eyes was gone. you sat away from him, you were concentrating on the lesson that you didn’t notice how jake was now staring at you.

He noticed how had lost the spark too. you didn’t wear a smile anymore, your face was neutral. The bell rings and you packed everything before leaving the classroom, jake followed you. then he noticed you were going to the back of the school where nobody was. A lot of the rebels went here to smoke and do other various things but he didn’t expect for you to go here.

He hides behind a wall. You threw your bag on the stacked cardboard boxes, took a cigarette packet and a lighter. you placed the stick in between your lips and lit it up. you inhaled the smoke and exhaled it. jake was shocked. he noticed someone else joining you. It was jay.

“so, he finally broke up with you?”

“mhm.” you simply answer. You wore a blank face.

“you did hear he was banned from playing for the next few games right?”

“yeah.”

“did you ask your dad to do this?”

“no, i’m not a vengeful person. jake broke my heart, cheated on me and well technically i wasn’t even his girlfriend since i was a bet. I know how much soccer means to him but i can’t stop my dad. like i told heeseung before, he may be a coach but he is still my dad first and so gets overprotective if i cry or get hurt.”

“next match is sort of important, think you could convince your dad to at least let jake play?” jay asks.

“I’ll try, my dad doesn’t listen to me until he sees me genuinely happy and now he’s seen me cry my eyes out because of jake.” you sighed, the smoke surrounding you. “Wait till he finds out i smoke.” you groaned imagining the lecture you’d be getting.

“you didn’t start smoking because of the break up, right?”

“It increased more after the break up, but no, i started because i was stressed.”

“you know…i never thought someone like you would try smoking.”

“neither did i but here we are.” you hold out a stick, “want one?”

“nah, i’m good. i don’t really want to try smoking. my dad smokes and well you know i’m trying not to be like my dad.”

“Mmm that’s good for you. yejun would be happy for you.”

“if she notices me.” you snort.

“she does, you’re just being a shithead to her. don’t be a jerk and act on your feelings.”

“I know, i know.” jay sighs, “well i have to go. Duty calls.”

“mmm, bye jay.” you say.

jake’s jaw clenches so you were the reason he was banned from playing? all because he broke your stupid little heart and the coach was being a protective dad? jake scoffs. he decides to just face you. he walks closer to you.

“so you’re the reason why i can’t play?” jake says. your eyes widened.

“what do you mean and why are you here?”

“you asked your dad to ban me from playing some of the most important matches?”

“jake, you know i’m not the type of person to do so. i know how much your games mean to you. i never wanted you to be banned.”

“yeah sure.” jake rolls his eyes. he looks down at the cigarette stick you still had in your hands. he grabs it and throws it to the ground. “don’t even try to ruin your own life because i will be ruining yours from now on.” he glares at you.

as jake starts to walk away…

“i have already ruined my own life. you don’t have to do the job. well, actually you already helped. after all, despite me loving you with all my heart, i was just a bet to you and i’m not your type.” you say as you grab your bag and shoving your shoulders past jake’s.

jake felt his heart burn, why did your words hurt him more than it should. Shouldn’t he be the one upset since your dad did ban him from playing?

another few days pass by, jake did make your life way harder than it should. he annoyingly called and teased you in class. obnoxiously laughed with the students on purpose so you couldn’t study, which made you stand up and pushed the chair in way too hard that it startled everyone. you went to the library after and it was so much better. Then he did one thing that was just downright horrible.

“jake, can you please just fucking stop it?” you say.

“stop what? your dad banned me from something i love because of you so you will suffer.” jake says.

“I said sorry and i can’t control my dad. he is stubborn and determined to make me happy after you know what.”

“what? your mom dying? because of you? you killed your mother right?” jake says. your heart drops, the room fell silent. jake’s jaw drops after he realises what he just spewed. you throw him the scariest glare. “hey, wait, I didn't mean it like that!” you ran out of the room, tears pouring out of your eyes.

as previously mentioned, you told jake the reason as to why your mom died. later further on while you were dating jake, you revealed that you felt guilty. you always blamed yourself because you thought you killed your mother and your dad wasn’t a fan of that. he was sure your mom wouldn’t put the blame on you just because she died due to birth complications. hence, your dad vowed to take care of you with such care and love as your mom would have. Of course, you still didn’t tell jake that your dad was their coach.

At the moment when you gave jake the nastiest glare ever, he remembered what you said. he put two and two together and just instant guilt filled him. jake instantly starts running around the school like a mad man trying to find you to apologise to you. he found you on the school’s rooftop.

“(name).” he softly says. he slowly gets closer to you. you were bawling your eyes out, jake wraps his arms around you. as much as you wanted to push jake away for hurting you, you couldn’t, he gave a sense of comfort to you. being in his arms was all you ever wanted and you hated yourself for that.

jake whispers nothing but apologies and soft comforting words. you really hated this. why were you so love with him? funny, love, a word you were afraid of at first. you knew you were in deep shit once you found out not only were you infatuated by jake but you loved him, a lot actually.

“i fucking hate you.” you cried out. jake holds you tighter.

“(name)...”

“I hate how much i love you. I hate that everything you do makes me love you more. I hate how no matter how much you hurt me, i still love you.” you pushed jake with all your might, jake sits next to you. “tell me why i’m such a fool for falling in love with you? knowing you don’t love me back.” you turned to look at jake with tears in your eyes.

“(name), i’m sorry-”

“just stay away from me. the more you stay, the more i fall for you and you don’t love me so what’s the point of you staying? to hurt me more?” jake stays silent and you scoffed.

“I guess that’s your answer. if you’re not leaving, i will.” you stood up slowly. jake stands up too.

“i’m not leaving you.”

“jake, i’m tired of this. i want to move on. can’t you just say you hate me and go?”

“no.”

“jake please don’t make this hard on me.”

“I don’t want to say i hate you and move on (name). I love you too.”

“jake please don’t.” he kisses you. fuck, why did you give in so easily. he sighs after pulling away.

“I realised while not being able to train, i got bored and the only thing that was on my mind was you. you were the only other thing keeping me sane.”

“you could’ve went out and played with other girls.”

“that’s the thing, while i wanted to do so, i couldn’t because all i was reminded of was your smile, your face and your personality. nobody would blatantly push me away playfully when we get more intimate all because they were shy. i loved that about you as a partner. every almost intimate thing we’ve done, you shyly pushed me away and it made me feel more in love than i should.”

“so what?”

“what i’m saying is…i fucking love you (name) and i swear on my soul that i’m not just playing around with you.”

“i can’t be so sure you know. after all, i was a bet previously.” jake curses under his breath.

“i-i’ll get sunghoon to apologise too.” jake thinks for a second, “or i’ll spend the $1000 on you. just for you.”

“jake. I don’t need you to spend money on me.”

“o-oh.”

“all i need is for you to genuinely be yourself and cut all those girls off. as much as i know you’re a playboy, i want to date someone loy-”

“DONE!” he shows his phone to you. everything single girl he played with had been blocked and even the cheerleader. he also deleted all the chats previously he had with them. “can i love you now?”

“jake, it’s seriously going to take a while.”

“then i’ll wait until you trust me.”

and it was true. jake stayed true to his words and never played around with any girls in your grade anymore. eventually, seeing as to how you were happier now, your dad allowed jake back on the team. though, your dad still kinda gives jake the stink eye since he still broke your heart.

little did your dad know (yet). that the cause of your happiness right now was the same cause of your heartbreak and pain. a month passes by, jake was in the locker room putting on his soccer boots. you entered the area and sat next to him.

“you came to see me play babe?” jake asks.

“yeah, class ended earlier than usual so i thought why not see my boyfriend play.” he pulls you onto his lap.

“mmm boyfriend huh? i don’t remember asking you out yet. did you just assume that baby?” you blush.

“No.” jake pecks your lips.

“kidding. i am yours. with or without labels. besides, doesn’t the husband and wife label fit better.”

“sim jaeyun!” you slapped his chest. jake laughs. the laughter dies down and it was all silent. jake leans closer and kisses you. your hands wrapping around his neck, smiling through the kiss. as the kiss deepens, you hear someone clearing their throat. you pulled away only to be stunned to see your dad so you scrambled off jake’s lap, tugging on your school skirt and fixing yourself. jake’s breath hitches.

“dad.” you say. your dad switches his gaze from you to jake.

“as (name)’s dad, i just want to say don’t break my daughter’s heart again. as your coach, i want to remind you, no making out in the locker room.” your dad comes closer to pat jake’s back. “come on captain, everyone is waiting for you on the field for practice.” your dad smiles at jake before he leaves to get back to the others.

jake stands up.

“umm, your dad caught us…you know…kissing. He’s not going to murder me in my sleep right?”

“no, unless you made me cry again.”

“does tears of pleasure count?” you smacked jake’s arm.

[captainx-camino]

Someone commented on an old video recently asking me (genuinely) if one of my speed paints was AI because 1) it was broken up into highlights for TikTok, and 2) I have a very unorthodox sketching process. So, I have decided to show the entire ass backwards way I sketch out the nearly incomprehensible nonsense that my mush brain spits out at me.

To preface, I use Ibis paint x on a cell phone.

I do not have a fancy program like procreate or clip studio, or even a tablet and a lot of how I work has evolved from what I have found works the best for drawing on my tiny, little, shitty phone screen.

That being said....

A speed paint video

To begin, I rarely map faces more than just very basic shapes. (Though, I will admit the structures can get more complex the less comfortable I am with drawing the face.) I usually start with a very basic framework that I implement half from just years of practice in drawing faces and becoming more comfortable with those base shapes, as well as the fact that I'm already aware I will inevitably be over using the liquify pen. Now, I would like to say this is a crutch and I just do it because it's easy, but unfortunately it's actually just because I have fat fingers and a tiny screen (sometimes I can place lines better with my pen but it's still a really small surface to work with) and it's just less of a headache to address the lines with liquify than redoing them a million times or zooming in so close that I lose the rest of the picture.

I will often start with faces because they tend to have the most small details. From there, I will then usually shrink the drawing down and place it about where I think it'll need to be to draw the next part, all while less than strategically erasing the piss poor guidelines I had originally given myself.

SOMETIMES I will save my guides of a second layer in case I might need them later, but that's about as far as I ever plan ahead to be honest...

And we can see that in the next part where after scribbling in a few vague marks for their hair I then IMMEDIATELY regret erasing my head guides and hastily sketch them back in so I can proceed to poorly map out their bodies (most of which I will inevitably be covering up anyway, which I KNEW was going to happen with this one and I cursed myself the entire time). I then fill in where I want all the glorious hair, which fills up the rest of the blank space in the art with fun and interesting shapes and conveys the lore of the AU.

After this, and to take this from a sketch to actual lineart, I will clean up some of the lines on a second layer and keep some of the original sketch features where I like them. This helps me keep the life of the original sketch while also allowing me to clean up the more scratchy lines, which usually produces a pretty nice, clean looking line work.

Should I do a lore drop for my AU next??

Kinda want to...

[veronicarogue]

I will try not to make this too long.

What I, personally, am looking most forward to in S2:

1. Charlie & Alastor!

Opposites in nearly every way but with those few important similarities. Their dynamic (to me) is the most intriguing and exciting and complex and, and, and! (Also more 🩷Charlastor♥️ content and I will be vacuuming up those crumbs and the fan content that follows! [Sigh] Fanon is such tremendous fun😊)

2. Alastor.

This serial killing, cannibalistic, voodoo(i think thats what his magic is called), deer demon, Overlord is drenched in charm and mystery and I am on the edge of my metaphorical seat to learn more and more about him. [Eying my stack of pages filled with questions, theories and character analysis]

3. Charlie.

She's over 200 years old. Was she always like this - happy and optimistic or was there some point in her life she where was, idk, like Alastor to a lesser extent? What made her spring into action on her dream of rehabilitating souls? I just really wanna know more about Charlie. [Eying my smaller stack of pages with Charlie sketches and character analysis]

4. Lilith, Lucifer, Alastor, Adam and Lute. There's so much to unpack here.

Why did Lilith and Lucifer split?

Liliths (implied)deal with Adam??

Could it really be her that has Alastor on a chain?

Is Lilith going to stand in Charlies way? (I'm really hoping she was a decent mother who loves Charlie and will instead go down to warn her)

What is the direction for Lute's character? How much or little has the loss of Adam affected her?

COULD ADAM BE COMING BACK AS A SINNER?!

Also, the beef between Lucifer and Alastor will undoubtedly be hilarious😂 The angel and demon on Charlie's shoulders.

5. HEAVEN.

Do the heavenly souls now know about the exterminations? Do they know about Sir Pentious; that Sinners can be redeemed? - side note: when the hazbins find out about Pentious I am probably going to cry😭 - how do the heavenly souls feel about that? Heaven is meant to be perfect but they've been lied to for decades and ruled by a corrupt system.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT DOES GET SOMEONE INTO HEAVEN OR HELL IN THIS UNIVERSE?

I'd like to think the heaven souls will be happy and requesting to send letters or something to their loved ones down in Hell. (now I'm imagining Molly being the first and writing a letter to her brother Anthony!😭)

Also, Emily and Sir Pentious friendship! That'll be so F-ing cute!

6. Vaggie.

Anticipating how the writers will go about Vaggie becoming her own person with her own personality. I'm excited for her to grow beyond her identity as whatever Charlie needs because that, currently, is all there is to her. Which makes sense considering all her life has been a militaristic upbringing with other angels who didn't like her(ep8) and Extermination Days and who knows what she got up to the remaining 364 days of the year. AND upon losing her entire purpose as an exorcist, she gains Charlie, who has become her everything and the hotel is also Vaggies way of making up for her past. But Vaggie also measures her entire self-worth, once again, around Charlie (ep3, 7, and bit of 6 and 8)

Who in the hotel will she form connections with? - I did like her and Angel's bickering in the Pilot and I see her and Cherri beings friends.

(Side note because some people cannot comprehend what they read: I AM NOT HATING ON VAGGIE! I'm critiquing her as a character and her lack of a personality besides her one big secret and one special person, which is a GREAT foundation for a character to build up from. All these characters are flawed, some downright F-ed up and that's what makes them so lovable. Organic growth of flawed characters. Love to see it, love the journey)

7. The Vees.

They're no angelic beings or ring lords but they do have massive influence within and over the Sinners of the Pride ring, so yes, I do believe they will be a serious threat to the hotel.

Vox with his one-sided rivalry, deeply rooted hatred (and maybe something more) toward Alastor.

Need I go into detail about the F-ed up Valentino and Angel situation that we all want to save our precious spiderboy from?

And Velvette, I think she'll either have a rivalry with Charlie and/or Vaggie. I hope its Vaggie especially if she's going to have a mentor/Student dynamic with Carmilla! (AWWW. Now I'm imagining Vaggie becoming friends with Clara and Odette Carmine (even though we don't know much about them yet) I just want nice things for Vaggie and that includes good friendships!)

8. Charlie & Angel AND Charlie & Husk (This could go with point 3 but I want more of these two pairs specifically)

9. Anything about Angel, Husk, Niffty, or Cherris human lives and/or their afterlives.

10. 🐈‍⬛️🎲Huskerdust🕸💗 (platonic or romantic. Both is good. Slow Burn is my poison though)

11. MORE SONGS accompanied by fabulous animation!

Thank you for reading through my little rant😊

Pleasant day further🌆/Sweet dreams🌃

[middleearthpixie]

Human Touch ~ Chapter One

A/N: This is the follow up to Playing With Fire, but can be read as a standalone. I thought Frerin deserved a nice, steamy romp just like his older brother got with Leda, so this is his story. I know I’ve got like three other fics to update, but I thought maybe I’d throw this out there and see what everyone thought of it… 

Summary: Frerin Durin had the perfect life, until he found out his wife was cheating on him. Now, he’s navigating uncharted territory as an about-to-be divorced single dad. Dating is a mess, he’s dealing with the fallout where his kids are concerned, and really, he would just love a vacation away from all of it. 

Elena Madison is new to Sidleburg, new to the history department at the high school, and also navigating life as a newly single parent. The last thing she needed was for her daughter to come down sick, when she hasn’t even had time to unpack the moving boxes, never mind find a pediatrician. And the last thing she ever expected was to meet a man like Dr. Frerin Durin…

Neither Elena nor Frerin were looking for anything, but fate has a way of messing up even the best laid plans. However, both have been hurt and both aren't at all sure they trust themselves, never mind trusting someone else...

Pairings:  Modern!Frerin  x OFC Elena Madison

Characters: Frerin, Elena, Alyssa, Nurse Angela Hart, Nurse Leigh Addams

Warnings: None (yet)

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.1k

Tag List: @mrsdurin @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @sorisooyaa @ruthoakenshield @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc @buckybarnes-thorin @glassgulls @evenstaredits @heilith @asgardianhobbit98 @albionscastle @absentmindeduniverse @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

I know I ain’t nobody’s bargain, but hell, a little touch-up and a little paint ~ Bruce Springsteen

December 15

Monday night, 2:50AM

“Dr. Durin?”

Frerin rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, but we just got a call from the ER. They need you down there.”

“What time is it, Leigh?”

“Ten to three.”

He bit back a groan as he sat up. He was getting too old for being yanked out of bed in the middle of the night. “Okay. I’m coming. What is it?”

“A six year old with exposure.”

“Exposure?”

“That’s what they said.”

He slid down from the bed where he was tying to catch some sleep in the on call room, and grabbed his white coat from the foot of it. “What the hell was a six year old doing out in this?” He gestured to the sleet pounding against the window. 

“I don’t know,” Nurse Leigh Addams shook her head as he joined her in the hallway. The lights were softer than normal, since it was the middle of the night, but he was still mole-eyed. 

“Damn it, do you know where I left my steth?”

“Take mine, but give it back.” She reached up to drape it around his neck, then gave him a gentle push. “Go.”

“I’m going.” He rubbed his eyes as he turned to make his way to the elevators. The pediatric unit was on the eighth floor, and fortunately, the elevator was quick. He was alone in the car, and all he could think about was getting a cup of coffee. Caffeine was a must when he worked the night shift. His days of being able to power through without it were firmly behind him.

The doors slid open and where the pediatric unit was fairly quiet at almost three in the morning, the ER was a bit busier and must’ve been for some time, judging by the sheer number of patients he saw. The rooms and curtain areas must’ve been at capacity, since there were nearly half a dozen patients on gurneys in the hallway as well. He moved by them, dodged paramedics clattering by with their stretchers, and at the main desk, said, “You called, Angela?”

Angela Hart smiled. “Dr. Durin, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you on nights.”

“Yeah, well, McArthur is out with the flu, so someone has to cover. Where is the frozen six year old?”

“Paramedics are rolling up now.”

He rubbed his eyes again. “Is there coffee in the lounge?”

“There should be, but it might be from the day shift.”

“It’s caffeine. I don’t care if I have to chew it. Let me know when the kid’s back.” 

The lounge was directly across from the main desk, and thank Christ the coffee seemed fresh. He poured a cup, raided the fridge for half and half, only to find nothing but flavored creamers. He wrinkled his nose, but grabbed the French vanilla and poured it into the cup. 

“Frerin,” Angela poked her head into the lounge, “your boy is in Trauma One.”

“Okay.” He swallowed a mouthful of coffee, winced as it scalded its way down his throat, and then he set the cup on the table. “I’m coming.”

Trauma One was down the short hallway and to his right, one of three in the ER, as they were the county trauma center when Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital was too far for transport. He hadn’t spent much time in the ER lately, but had spent enough that he knew the ER docs and nurses, they knew him, and they all worked well together. 

“Okay,” he said as he came into the room, “give me the bullet…”

“Mom?”

Elena Madison bit back a groan at her daughter’s whisper. “What is it, Alyssa?”

“I don't feel well.”

Elena lifted her head to squint at the clock. Three-thirty in the morning. She reached over to switch on the lamp. “What’s wrong?”

“My throat really hurts and I can’t get warm and everything hurts.”

“Do you want to sleep here, with me?”

“Can I?”

“Come on.”

Alyssa climbed up into the bed and snuggled up against her. Heat wafted from her daughter’s body, hot enough that Elena laid a hand on her forehead. “How long have you been feeling like this?”

“A while. I felt funny when I was doing my homework, but thought I was just tired. But now… I really feel awful.”

“Let me see if I can find the thermometer. It might not be unpacked yet.”

Alyssa squinted at the light and nodded. “Okay.”

Elena frowned. Alyssa looked pale. Almost chalk-white, actually. The flu was going around at Sidleburg High, where she was a freshman. Oh, she hoped it wasn't that. They’d only been in town a few days, she hadn’t had time to find any kind of doctors yet and didn't even know where the nearest medimerge was.

Still, she got up and padded into the bathroom, where she searched for the digital thermometer. Luck was on her side. It was tucked into her makeup bag. 

She brought it back to her bedroom. “Under your tongue, peanut.”

Alyssa nodded as she opened her mouth and let Elena slip the thermometer under her tongue.  Then, she sat very quietly, just resting her head against Elena’s shoulder until the thermometer beeped.

Alyssa pulled it out and frowned. “One-oh-two, Mom.”

“Okay, tell you what, why don’t you just stay here and try to get some sleep and if it gets any higher, we’ll run to the ER?”

Alyssa winced. “Everything just hurts… I don't even want to lay down.”

Elena sighed softly. “Do you want to go see a doctor?”

“Will it help?”

“I don't know. It’s probably just the flu, but it might not be, either.” Elena gently pressed her hand to Alyssa’s forehead only to have her flinch and jerk back with a muted cry. “Okay. We’ll go over to the ER. Let me throw some clothes on, okay?”

Alyssa nodded and gingerly lay down to curl into the fetal position. “Okay.”

Elena grabbed a hoodie to tug on over her tee shirt, The leggings she had on would suffice, so she tugged on thick socks and her work boots, ran a brush through her hair and tugged it up into a hasty bun. “Ready, honey?”

Alyssa nodded slowly, sitting up with a wince. “My hair hurts.”

“Yeah, fevers do that. Come on.” Elena eased an arm about Alyssa’s waist and gently helped her to her feet. “Let me just grab my keys and we can go.”

Outside, Alyssa sucked in a sharp breath. “The snow hurts…”

“I know, baby, I know. I’ll have the car warmed up in a jiffy, I promise.” She helped Alyssa around to the passenger side of her Accord and gingerly fastened the seat belt. “Just close your eyes and try to sleep a little if you can. We’ll be there in a few minutes, if I don't get lost.”

“Try not to get lost, Mom.”

“I’ll do my best, Sarge.”

That earned her a weak smile and she pressed a light kiss into Alyssa’s hot forehead. Then, she closed the car door, skirted the car’s nose, and sank into the driver’s seat. 

The advantage to trying to find Sidleberg Memorial Hospital in the dead of night was there wasn’t a lot of traffic. The downside? She still didn't know exactly where it was and even with the GPS, it took her longer than she would have liked to find it. But finally, she swung the car into the driveway, looped around to pull up in front of the big revolving door leading to the ER.

“We’re here, honey. Let’s get you inside and I’ll move the car, okay?”

Alyssa nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“Good. Come on, baby, small steps. We’re almost there.”

“I’m so cold…”

Elena came around to grab her about the waist. It might have only been her imagination, but it seemed more heat radiated from her daughter than before and she shivered as well now. “Easy, honey. We’re almost there.”

“I just want to lay down, Mom.”

“I know. Soon.” She nudged the door with her hip to close it, then slowly walked Alyssa into the brightly lit waiting room and guided her over to a chair. “I’ll be right back.”

Alyssa nodded, curling into a ball once more. “Okay, Mom.”

Elena crossed to the reception desk, where the nurse sat behind a plexiglass wall. “How can I help you?”

“I think my daughter has the flu, but her temperature has really shot up in the last half hour. It was one-oh-two when we left and I think it’s gone up.”

“Her name?”

“Alyssa Madison.”

“Date of birth?”

Elena gave her the information, dug out her insurance card, and waited as the nurse typed all of the info into the computer system. The nurse offered up a reassuring smile. “She’ll be brought back as soon as possible, Mrs. Madison.”

“Thank you.”

She went back to where Alyssa sat and not five minutes later, another nurse, in cranberry colored scrubs, came over to them with a wheelchair and a hospital bracelet. “Alyssa?”

“Yeah?” 

“I’m Carol, how are you feeling?”

“Like crap.” Alyssa looked over at Elena. “Sorry, Mom.”

“It’s okay.” Elena ruffled her hair. “You get a pass because you look like you feel like crap.”

Carol smiled. “I know, there’s a lot of flu going around.” She looked up at Elena. “Who is your pediatrician?”

“We don't have one yet. We’re new to the area.”

“Well, you’re in luck. We’ve got the head of the department here tonight and he’s really good. So,” she fastened the bracelet about Alyssa’s right wrist, “why don't we get you back into a bed and get you a nice heated blanket?”

“I’ve got to go move my car,” Elena said, gesturing to the black Accord still in front of the door. 

“That’s not a problem. Gloria will buzz you back and tell you where to find us. Don’t worry, Mom. We’ll keep an eye on her. Can you move over into the chair for me, Alyssa?”

“Sure.” 

As Alyssa moved, Elena went out to park her car in the parking deck. There was spot just beyond where the ambulances charged, and she quickly locked the doors and hurried back inside, where Gloria told her she’d find Alyssa in Room Six, and told her where she’d find Room Six.

Alyssa was dozing, looking almost as pale as the hospital linens and Carol was still there. “Her temp is one-oh-two-point-three. You made the right decision in bringing her in, Mom. Is she allergic to any anything?”

“Cashews,” Elena said with a slight smile as she cast a worried look over at her daughter. “They make her lips and tongue tingle and swell.”

“Is she on any medications?”

“No. She’s always been a healthy kid. Aside from finding out about the cashews, anyway.”

“And medical conditions? Heart or kidney problems?”

“No. Again, she’s a healthy kid.”

“Okay. We’re a little busy, but it shouldn’t take Dr. Durin long. If you want to watch television, the remote is on the tray.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

After Carol left, Elena sank into the single chair alongside Alyssa’s bed with a soft sigh, reaching up to rub one eye. It was nearly three-thirty. Thank God tomorrow was Saturday. She hated calling out sick when she’d only been there a few weeks, but would have had no choice if it was a weekday. She had no idea how long they would be there, and had no idea if Alyssa was sick with the flu or something worse, and she had no support system aside from herself. The last thing she wanted to do was call Alyssa’s father and even if she wanted to, there was no point. He and his girlfriend were in Aruba for the holidays.

She sighed softly, tucking her legs up under her and propped her head on her fist as CNN played softly on the television. 

She didn't know she’d dozed off until she heard a soft, “Mrs. Madison?” and felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

She jumped as if someone had shouted at her. “I’m up… I—I mean, I’m Mrs. Madison… yes…”

“Sorry. I tried to not to startle you.”

“No, it’s—it’s okay. I didn’t even know I fell asleep.” She rubbed her eyes slowly and squinted up to find herself looking at a rather tired-looking man in white lab coat with a hot pink stethoscope around his neck who moved to the box of latex exam gloves and tugged two free. 

“I’m Dr. Durin. This is your daughter,” he glanced down at the chart in his hand, “Alyssa?”

“Yes. I think she might have the flu, but I’m not sure. She’s had a cold for the last two days, but tonight started running a fever and it shot up pretty quickly.”

“Okay. You’re probably right, but I’ll check her just the same.” He set the chart down on the counter and pulled on the gloves. “You’re welcome to stay in the room, or if you want to step out, I’ll have a nurse come in, instead.”

“I’ll ask Alyssa.”

“Fair enough.” He smiled. “Don’t look so worried, Mom. She’s in good hands.”

“I didn't realize it was my worry was showing.”

“I can see it.” He moved closer to the bed and gave Alyssa a gentle shake. “Alyssa? Can you open your eyes for me?”

“What… who… who are?”

“I’m Dr. Durin. Mom said you’re sick? You think you might have the flu?”

“Maybe. I thought it was just a cold, but now… I’m freezing and the nurse said my fever got higher.”

“One-oh-two-point-three. Yeah, I’d say you’re definitely sick.” He touched the top of her head. “Does that hurt?”

“Everything hurts.”

“That’s the fever. We’ll give you some Tylenol to help, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now,” he lifted the stethoscope from around his neck to fit the earpieces in place, “do you want Mom to stay or would you rather Carol stay while I examine you?”

“Mom can stay.” Alyssa managed a slight smile. “I like your stethoscope. Pink is my favorite color.”

“Oh, yeah? This isn’t mine. Mine went missing, so I borrowed it from one of the nurses. I think she has a purple one, too.”

“I didn't know they came in different colors.”

“They do, indeed. You name the color, you can find one in it.” He warmed the diaphragm part of the stethoscope between his palms, then slid it beneath her hospital gown, bringing his free hand up to hold a finger to his lips for minute. Then, he moved it, saying, “Take a deep breath for me?”

She did. He moved it again. “Another, please.”

She did and he slid the stethoscope free. “Can you sit forward for me, Alyssa?”

She nodded and did, then began coughing. He waited until she finished. “Do you need a drink?”

She shook her head. “I’m okay, Dr. Durin.”

“Okay.” He pressed the stethoscope to her back. “Again, a deep breath for me.”  

She did and then he tugged the ear pieces from his ears and draped the stethoscope around his neck once more. “Okay. You can lie back,” before picking up her chart to make a notation. “Your lungs sound clear and that’s a good thing.”

She sighed softly as she sank into the pillow. “What color is yours?”

“My steth? I’m afraid it’s boring gray.” 

“You should get a pink one.”

Elena pressed her lips together to hold back her smile as Dr. Durin said, “You think so? It wouldn’t make me look dorky?”

Alyssa shook her head. “I don't think so.”

“I’ll think about it.” He set her chart on the tray table and brought his hands to her neck, feeling around and under her jaw. “Glands are a little swollen. Do you have a sore throat?”

“It’s a little scratchy. It was worse yesterday.”

“How much worse?”

“It felt like razor blades.”

“How old are you, Alyssa?”

“I’ll be fourteen on the twenty-ninth.”

“Yeah? My daughter’s about your age. Are you a freshman?”

“Yeah.”

“So’s Maura. How do you like school?”

“I like everything but algebra.”

“I hated algebra myself. I like Chem and Bio. Anytime there was a chance I could blow something up, I was there.”

Alyssa chuckled. “I can’t wait to take Chem.”

“Mom, how is she doing in school?”

“Don’t let her fool you. She’s a straight-A student.”

“Really? Good for you, Alyssa. Keep those grades up and get into a good college.” He took a pencil flashlight from his pocket. “Do me a favor? Follow the light with just your eyes, okay? Don’t turn your head.”

“I won’t.”

Elena tucked her legs back under her as Dr. Durin then shined the light in first Alyssa’s left eye, then her right, and then straightened to tuck the flashlight back in his coat pocket. “Okay. I’d like to draw some blood, Mom, if I can, just to rule out a few things. I think it’s flu, and lord knows we’ve seen enough of it, but I want to be sure, because she’s a little sensitive to the light.” 

He turned back to Elena. “It’s probably the fever, but we’ve also seen a few cases of meningitis, so I want to rule that out entirely.”

“That’ll show in a blood test?”

He nodded. “It can, so that’s where we’ll start.”

“Do I have to get a shot?”

He turned back to Alyssa. “No, I don't think so, but I do want to take some blood. I promise you, Carol has the lightest touch and you’ll barely even feel it, okay?”

Alyssa’s pale face went paler still. “I don't like needles.”

“It’s not really a needle, Alyssa. It’s smaller, and I promise, I’ll only take a little bit.” He patted her through the blanket then looked back at Elena, peeling the gloves off to toss in the trashcan. “Mom, can I have a word with you?”

Elena’s stomach curdled as she nodded and rose to follow him out of the exam room. “Is something wrong?”

“No. But, I’ll need your permission to draw the blood and if necessary, to do a lumbar puncture.”

“A what?”

“A spinal tap. But,” he held out a hand as she opened her mouth to protest, “that’s only if the bloodwork comes up inconclusive. So, it’s a last resort, I promise. I do think’s it’s the flu, but like I said, we’ve had a few cases of meningitis and I don't want to risk it.”

She sighed softly, tucking a wayward curl behind her ear. “I suppose. I hate the idea of a spinal tap, though.”

“It’s only if I can’t rule it out through the bloodwork. And I’d give her plenty of local anesthetic so she wouldn’t feel much.”

Elena sighed again. She supposed at one time, she’d have wished Alyssa’s father was there, helping her make the tough decisions. But then she remembered that the reason she was there alone because he didn't care about making any decisions with her or being a team. He was far more interested if where he could stick his cock next.

So, slowly, and not at all certain she was making the right decision, she nodded. “Okay.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Madison,” he told her with a hint of a smile. “I’ve done more of these than I can count and she won’t feel it. I promise.”

“Do I look that worried?”

“A little.”

“I’m sorry… I just… I just thought it was a cold and then—”

“It’s been a rough flu season, and like I said, that’s probably what this is. I just want to be sure.”

“I know.” She peered around the doorway at Alyssa, who looked even younger now, her eyes closed, and she fought back a sigh. “But… that’s my kid.”

“I know.” He smiled. “I’ve got three of my own and I would react the same way if I was in your shoes. But, I promise you, Mrs. Madison, I won’t do it unless I have to.”

She looked back at him. “Okay. But, if you were me, would you agree to it?”

“I would. If it’s something like meningitis, you don't want to play around with it.”

“I know that. I do. I’m mostly a rational adult person, but—”

“It’s different when it’s your kid.”

Elena nodded, rubbing her forehead with one hand as she sighed softly for at least the third time. She couldn’t remember the last time she was so damn tired. “It’s different when it’s your kid. And I already hate being in the ER for something like this, but we don’t have a pediatrician yet and I don't even know if there’s a medimerge type place anywhere in town.”

“It’s okay that you brought her here.” He reached out to touch her shoulder. “It’s better to be safe than sorry. In all honesty, I do think it’s just the flu. I just prefer to err on the side of caution. So, I’ll have Carol come in and do the draw and when the results come in, I’ll come find you, okay? The cafeteria is closed, unfortunately, but there is a coffee machine just down the hallway if you could use a boost.”

She managed a slight laugh. “There isn’t enough caffeine in the world for a night like this.”

“I know. I’ve been there. Like I said, I’ve got three kids and they never get sick at good times. But, she’s in good hands. I promise.”

Elena nodded and rubbed her eyes this time. They stung with a fury and she really just wanted to curl up in a ball and let them close. But, since she couldn’t, she lowered her hand to look up at him  “I know.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I have the results of her bloodwork. You can use your cell in here if you want to call your husband.”

“There is no husband. It’s just me and Alyssa.”

“Okay, well… if there’s anything you need, just let Carol know, okay?”

“I will. Thank you.”

“Of course.” He smiled and then started off down the hallway. She stood there for a moment, just watching, and then berated herself silently since it was not the time to be thinking about how beautiful his blue-gray eyes were. Not when she was waiting to find out if Alyssa had meningitis or not.

So with a sigh, she went back into the room and back to her chair, where Alyssa offered up a tired smile and said, “I like him, Mom. He’s nicer than Dr. Garrett was. Cuter, too.”

“Alyssa.”

“Oh, tell me he isn’t.”

“I thought you were sick?”

Alyssa tugged the blanket back up to her chin. “Mom, you could totally land a doctor. Dad would stew in envy if you did.”

“I’m not looking to land anyone, Alyssa. Especially not tonight.”

“I’m just saying. You could.”

“Alyssa?” Carol tapped softly on the door and came into the room. “Dr. Durin asked me to draw some blood.”

Alyssa went paler still as she nodded. “If you have to.”

“Mom, I just need you to sign the consent form and then we’ll get started.”

Elena looked over the form and sighed as Carol tugged on a pair of gloves and unwrapped the kit. Alyssa held out her left hand. “Mommy?”

Mommy. Elena couldn't remember the last time Alyssa called her that. Without hesitation, Elena caught Alyssa’s hand and whispered, “It’ll be fine, peanut,” as Carol tied the rubber tubing about Alyssa’s right arm. Alyssa sucked in a sharp breath, her fingers tightening about Elena’s, and Elena kept whispering, “It’s okay, sweetie.”

“All done,” Carol said, untying the tourniquet and pressing a small piece of gauze into the crook of Alyssa’s arm. She unwrapped a Band-Aid and pressed that over the gauze. “Try to get some sleep, Alyssa. Hopefully the results won’t take long, but you never know. We’re crazy busy tonight and I have no idea how backed up the lab might be.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Do you need anything?”

“No, we’re fine.” Elena looked over at Alyssa, who was already asleep. “I just need her to get better.”

“She will. And Dr. Durin will be in as soon as the results are in as well.”

“Thank you again.”

Carol smiled and left with the vials, and a few minutes later, despite her uncomfortable position, Elena managed to doze off as well. 

[sightofsea]

trying to remember everything that happened this year and it went ok: started the year with a failed attempt at an orgy, then went to the beach, found out my license was suspended bc my old roommates never thought to forward a speeding ticket i got two years ago, spent literally $3000 reinstating my license and then fixing my car because of all that follow up, saw a mid femslash sherlock holmes play, found out i developed adult asthma because of mold in my apartment, decided to move, submitted by work to an art show and nothing sold, got a boyfriend, there was a torrential snow and ice storm and shut the city down for a week, moved house, broke up with said boyfriend because i realized him and his husband were kind of boring, started a garden, submitted my work to another art show, submitted my writing for a sketch show and got in, saw tammy and the t-rex, turned 26, had a monster prom party, got harrassed by a neighbor to the point of fearing for my life a bit, volunteered at a ren faire, went to the beach lots and had lots of picnics, harvested potatoes for the first time, had my computer battery crap out while my boss was in the hospital, pickled SO MANY THINGS, went to a boat museum, good omens season 2, started knitting a blanket i won't finish until summer of next year probably, started working out again, got into vests, put on a sketch show that SOLD OUT, gained like 20 new friends, finally finished season 5 of riverdale, wrote a 30k oneshot, went to oktoberfest and found out i like beer now, went camping, slept with a friend for the first time and a fun time, did a LOT more karaoke, did another sketch that didn't sell out but nearly did, found out the cats have fleas, had that art show i submitted for earlier in the year and people bought SO MUCH STUFF, went to my first adult christmas party, had jury duty, and now i'm just. very tired and definitely crashing but WOW what a year!!!!

[notcatherinemorland]

one of the most difficult things about getting back into art again is not romanticising my own skill gap.

like, finally, after 5 1/2 years of thinking these it was destroyed and shat on by rats, we found my portfolio of my old Big Serious Art Works. Most of it is in there, minus a sketchbook and some old final pieces (annoying!) but what is genuinely shocking to me is how good some of it is. I remember hating some of those pieces viscerally. I remember nearly crying to my friends about dropping out of art gcse over an a3 charcoal illustration of onions.... and it nearly made me cry over how good it was for a 13-year-old. Over how good it would be if i produced it now. That's not even to mention how it feels to see my two favourite sketches I ever did (ink sketch figure drawing and a charcoal cathedral window, for posterity).

What is fascinating to me now its that this is a legitimately good portfolio. Detailed sketchbooks explaining my processes; extremely varied material use and pieces at the end; composition and style and ideas are abundant. It is positively surreal to walk back through the fucking verdant greenhouse of my youthful training and then look at my last two sketchbooks... which are dull as dishwater. It's just soft and scared little portraits over and over and over again.

But the thing is: all my work is soft and scared. All of it, from the sketchbook of copic ciao-coloured magical girl anime designs I drew at 12 to the oil pastel picture of a washing machine I've been trying to start for the last 2 days. The reason my old work makes such a lush impression is because it was for academia - I had teachers forcing my hand into new every single week. These same teachers offering suggestions and guidance at every stage of the work, who genuinely cared about my making art, not just my getting good marks. It is very hard to flip through my recent books (oh, how I am proud I get to say books, plural) and see such a dearth of discipline. I knew I found it very hard, psychologically, to challenge myself, but I didn't think it was this.... obvious, in a way. I didn't realise how I had been showing my hands with the things they've created.

Anyway: there's no satisfying answer to this. I cannot afford to look back on my old works and think I was talented - it was 5 years of dedicated, cultivated, nurtured skills. I cannot afford to look back on my recent works and think of them as silly, bland, and uninspired. At the same time, I cannot afford to not challenge myself. My art will be soft and scared whatever I do - I may as well make it good.

[mysticalkingdeer]

‘Is blogging still relevant in the age of TikToks and Instagram?’; 

Hey there, fellow internet wanderer! 🌟 Have you ever wondered about the evolution of online content and how platforms like TikTok and Instagram have taken the digital world by storm? They've undeniably changed how we consume and create content, leaving many questioning the relevance of good old-fashioned blogging. The relevancy of blogging, in contrast to short digestive video media, i.e. tiktoks or reels, is similar to that of newspapers and magazines in an era of digital information at one's fingertips. So, let's dive right in and explore whether blogging still holds its own in this fast-paced age of snappy videos and stunning visuals.

The Rise of Micro-Content

TikTok, with its short, engaging videos, and Instagram, with its visually captivating images, have undeniably changed the game regarding content consumption. Their content format is tailored to suit our fast-paced lives, providing bite-sized information and entertainment. The attention span of the modern audience is shrinking, partly due to the sheer volume of information available at our fingertips. Micro-content platforms have recognized this shift and optimized their content to cater to this trend. They present information concisely and visually appealingly, making it easier for users to absorb and enjoy.

Imagine scrolling through your feed and, in a matter of seconds, you've laughed at a 15-second comedy sketch on TikTok or been inspired by a stunning photograph on Instagram. These platforms have mastered grabbing and retaining attention within a few moments. However, does this rise of micro-content signal the end of traditional, long-form blogging? Not quite.

Blogs: The In-Depth Experience

While micro-content provides a quick fix for entertainment or information, blogs offer a more substantial and in-depth experience. They allow for a deeper topic exploration, providing a comprehensive understanding beyond the surface. Blogs often incorporate research, personal experiences, and a variety of perspectives, offering readers a holistic view of the subject matter. The narrative nature of blogs allows for storytelling, which can be a powerful tool to engage and captivate readers. It's akin to having a conversation where the writer shares their thoughts, insights, and knowledge conversationally, fostering a strong connection with the reader. Blogging is as effective a marketing tool as ever. In fact, it's supercharged. A recent study by Data Box, “The Shift in Your Content Marketing Mix: 25 Marketers On What's Changed in 2 Years”, showed that 68% of marketers find blogging more effective than they did 2 years ago. https://nealschaffer.com/are-blogs-still-relevant-in-2019/#:~:text=Now%2C%20none%20of%20that%20has,they%20did%202%20years%20ago.

So, despite the trend towards shorter and more visually appealing content, the unique value of blogs still needs to be addressed.

Niche Expertise

One of the remarkable aspects of blogs is their ability to cater to specific niches. Whether it's technology, travel, health, or lifestyle, there's a blog out there for nearly every interest imaginable. This specialization enables bloggers to delve deep into their chosen field, offering expertise and insights that might not be available in micro-content.

For instance, a tech blog could provide detailed reviews of the latest gadgets, comparing features, performance, and usability in a way that a 15-second TikTok video simply cannot.

SEO and Discoverability

Blogs have a significant edge in search engine optimization (SEO). Their longer format allows for integrating keywords, backlinks, and other SEO strategies that improve discoverability. If you're searching for detailed information on a topic, a blog post will appear at the top of your search results, providing the precise insights you want.

Authenticity and Connection

Blogging offers a more authentic and personal connection between the creator and the audience. Through blogs, writers can share their thoughts, experiences, and emotions genuinely and heartfeltly. Readers, in turn, feel a deeper connection to the creator, which can be challenging to achieve through short-form content. Authenticity and genuine connection are still highly valued in this digital age.

The Power of Integration

In this ever-evolving digital landscape, integration is critical. Many successful content creators use a combination of platforms to maximize their reach and engagement. A well-rounded strategy might involve creating short, attention-grabbing videos on TikTok or Instagram and linking to a blog post for a more comprehensive experience. It's about finding the right balance and leveraging each platform's strengths.

The Verdict: Blogging Endures

In conclusion, blogging is not only relevant but also vital in the age of TikToks and Instagram. It provides a unique and necessary space for in-depth exploration, niche expertise, SEO-driven discoverability, authenticity, and integration. While micro-content has its allure, blogging offers a distinct and irreplaceable value that continues to attract and engage a dedicated audience.

So, whether you're a content creator or an eager information seeker, blogs remain a treasure trove of knowledge and a canvas for creativity. Embrace the ever-evolving digital world, but never underestimate the timeless power of a well-crafted blog post. Happy reading and happy blogging! 📚✍️

[mythicalsanctuarysodor]

Ah shoot, the 8-year-old had an egg.

Okay! in the context of this post, this is set in the Mythical Machines timeline I have going with @ttte-humanoid-engine-au . The medication needed for an abortion is apparently not an over-the-counter thing you can get, and since Jayde isn't human, she couldn't exactly walk into a hospital. And apparently feathered serpents have a very fast pregnancy, unlike what Jayde originally thought, she'd have a pregnancy closer to that of a human. Reticulated Pythons are gravid/pregnant for 60 days (Nearly 2 months). And Bald Eagles are pregnant for 2 days. So while Jayde was pregnant for 13 weeks (2 months) she was actually very darn close to having the thing pop out of her. Once she was in a safe place she actually made a nest out of blankets and pillows in the castle's break room, and she practically vacuumed up any food she found. She may have chased Duck and Thomas and her Edward around on a few occasions. Then one night, the lump she had been growing for the past week on her belly started to move down her tail and she popped out an egg. Everyone was surprised as they assumed she was just having cravings and was just getting fat. Thomas had found her the morning after she gave berth, he was still half asleep so he didn't realize that Jayde had a real egg curled up with her until he got to the engine's sheds and it fully registered that- 'Jayde... EGG?!??' So he ran back up and woke up anyone he could find. Horse Ed was so worried, he was beating himself up for not being there while she was laying an egg bigger than her head. So now he's her personal nanny/servant until the baby hatches. So have some sketches!