#calling a stillborn child a monster unintended suicide

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Princess of Dragonstone: Chapter 19. Final chapter before the end.

Description: Daella became Aemonds prisoner and learned the importance of magic from her half sister, Alys. Things werent as they appeard and now everyone will pay the price for it.

warnings: Major character death, Targaryen insanity, magic, Alys rivers, Pregnancy failures, childloss and childmurder, hallucinations and stillborns, blood, choking servants, abusing servants, calling a stillborn child a monster unintended suicide

I'm soulless but this made me cry.

Aemond did not bother to join me for bed that night. I would not have let him into our rooms anyway. I am too busy hugging my stillborn child, my beautiful little boy.

Isn’t it poetic that Aemond will never be able to become a father, after he never had one himself? I like to think it is.

Eventually, one of the maids of Aemond disturbs me. No one did that day. They all ignored me. Alicent, the Queen, the King. They all were busy mourning their own losses when I was giving birth to my most beautiful creation. ‘’M-my lady…’’She gawks at my eyeless, winged boy. I shoot her a glare that will hopefully remind her who she is speaking off. ‘’I-I brought the prince a blanket, my lady. As you requested.’’ She wants to grab my son, my sweet son. I smack her hands away, causing her to cry out. I take the blanket from her as she drops it, wrapping it around my special son.

The insolent wench keeps eyeing us, worry and concern written in her eyes. The wench dares to question me. The wench dares to bother me. ‘’Good. Now leave us. I wish to be alone with my son.’’ I announce to her, cradling my sweet boy. He is the only thing giving me joy. He is all I live for. I finally found peace in a way that I never would imagine that motherhood would grant me.

The maid gulps before speaking, as if she knows that she is making a grave mistake. She tries to take the child from my arms. She tries to take away my son. ‘’He’s dead, my lady. He never lived. He came outside of you, silent as the grave. He does not have eyes, my Lady. He’s a mon-’’ I put my son down in his cradle. Before she can finish her sentence and call my son an awful name, I have wrapped my hands around her throat and started choking with all my might, as I try to snap her neck as if its a unworthy stick of wood.

The wench cried out and its hard to believe I once tried to save her life by whoring myself to Aemond. I just want her to shut up. I want everyone to just shut up. ‘’My lady! Grgk!’

I chuckle with a voice much unlike my own. ‘’You dare, call my son, the prince of Dragonstone, a monster?’’ I eye my son, but he is still safely in his crib. Good. If anyone touches him…

It will be the last thing they feel before they die. ‘’Please, my lady. He is. You must cremate him and move on. You are slowly becoming dangerous my lady.’’ Cremate him? Why would I? He is my son. He will never leave me. They took too much from me. No one will take anything from me again. Not my son.

I laugh, in her face. ‘’I never was not dangerous. I just lied to myself. I don’t want to lie anymore. My son, he is all I have. Do you understand? Aemond and his whore-bitch took it all from me. I will bathe in their blood.’’

"Stop!" Of course. I turn around, still choking the maid. Aemond is there. He is here. Good. He is next.

I lash out, forgetting he is supposed to mean nothing to me. ‘’She called him a monster. She called him a monster!” I softly mumble the rest of the words, as tears burst from my eyes and sobs rock my body. Aemond sighs before taking my hands from her throat. She runs off instantly.

‘Where is she.’’ I ask him, without looking in his direction. I notice his brows start to knit together with worry and concern as he takes in our son.

Aemond is surprised. ‘’You haven’t cremated him yet.’’ I would rather throw myself in the flames than offer my innocent babe to it.

I smile, chuckling. Aemond doesn’t know. Aemond’s stupid. He always has been blinded. Not by his eye, but by his bloodlust, his greed, his ambitions. ‘’You will not touch him. You have no right to touch the future king of the seven Kingdoms.’’

Aemond becomes uneasy. ‘’Are you hearing yourself speak?! You’ve gone insane.’’ Now it is his throat that I am holding. ‘’Who’s to blame for that? Is it our blood causing the insanity, or is it our lifes full of tragedy and never-ending heartbreak.’ Aemond easily kicks himself free, kicking me in my stomach. The wounds have not yet healed. He does help me up once I have let go of him.

‘’Where is she.’’ I grit out. ‘’I need to stop her. We all need-’’

‘’You are delirious.’’

‘’I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about anything anymore. Do you have any idea what it is like, pushing something out of you that is cold and dead?’’ I chuckle. Of course he doesn’t. His face softens. ‘’Daella…’’

‘’I did this for you! I wanted you back! You only cared about me for some pity revenge against my mother! It was never about me! It was always about you, you and you!’

He becomes insulted. Good. ‘’Daella!’

‘’Go back to Harrenhal. Go fucking fuck that whore sister of mine, and fuck yourself into a early grave. You will never lay with me again. He will be our only son. If you ever become as stupid as to bring your witchling children here, I swear they won’t survive to see the next day.’’

‘’You dare threaten my children?’’ He groans. I only chuckle.

‘’You dared to murder ours. I have nothing left, Aemond….’’ I notice that the crib is empty. Empty as I feel inside. I run to the crib, when desperate screams leave my body. ‘’No, no no no! My son! My beautiful baby boy!’

Aemond is shocked as well. ‘’That is impossible.’’

I am close to ripping my own hair out. ‘’It is not! Don’t you understand? She has taken him! She needs him!’’ Why is he so stupid. And why can’t I tell him what I want?

Aemond scoffs. ‘’She needs our dead son?’’

This man. ‘’Aemond, it was never about you.’’ Alys appears, finally. She rubs her pregnant belly mockingly and smiles when kissing Aemond’s cheek. ‘’You have tried very hard to put a son inside me. Unfortunately, I don’t have use for our child.’’ With a simple wave of her wrist a blade appears. She drives it through her own stomach, cutting out the child. Aemond bristles in anger and fear.

She turns to look at me. ‘’And you, little sister. Torn in my eye…’’ I have barely any energy left to fight. The voices speak loud. They scream. They tell me that Alys is pregnant. It is over for all of us. It will be over for all of us soon.

Aemond defends me but he is too late. ‘’You will not hurt her.’’ I need to find him. I need to protect him. He cannot be the monster she wants him to be. Alys will make him a weapon. She will destroy him and this world.

The witch chuckles as I bite my fingers, trying to find my son under pillows. ‘’I don’t have to Aemond.’’ ‘’You did it for me. Just look at her. She has gone fully mad, the poor thing.’’

Aemond realises that Alys kills me, but he handed her the knife. ‘’Stop. You are doing this. I know you are. Make her stop. I can’t bare to see her like this.’’

I repeat more and more phrases, faster and faster as my vision starts to blur. ‘’Pregnant. She’s pregnant. It’s all over. The blade, the dagger. The song of ice and fire. The seed is strong, the dragons danced, its over. Protect the blade.’’

I laugh. ‘’My son…I must…find…my…son.’’ I see him, outside of the windows. He smiles at me, my son. He is beautiful. He is flapping his wings, he is free and his eyes. They are beautiful. Almost seen through. Like two perfect diamonds. My beautiful boy. I must go to him. Now.

Aemond can’t move to stop me as I rush to the window and let myself fall down. Aemond can hear how my body splashes against the ground, before likely bursting into different pieces ‘’No!’’