#hallucinations and stillborns

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Princess of Dragonstone: Chapter 19. Final chapter before the end.

Description: Daella became Aemonds prisoner and learned the importance of magic from her half sister, Alys. Things werent as they appeard and now everyone will pay the price for it.

warnings: Major character death, Targaryen insanity, magic, Alys rivers, Pregnancy failures, childloss and childmurder, hallucinations and stillborns, blood, choking servants, abusing servants, calling a stillborn child a monster unintended suicide

I'm soulless but this made me cry.

Aemond did not bother to join me for bed that night. I would not have let him into our rooms anyway. I am too busy hugging my stillborn child, my beautiful little boy.

Isn’t it poetic that Aemond will never be able to become a father, after he never had one himself? I like to think it is.

Eventually, one of the maids of Aemond disturbs me. No one did that day. They all ignored me. Alicent, the Queen, the King. They all were busy mourning their own losses when I was giving birth to my most beautiful creation. ‘’M-my lady…’’She gawks at my eyeless, winged boy. I shoot her a glare that will hopefully remind her who she is speaking off. ‘’I-I brought the prince a blanket, my lady. As you requested.’’ She wants to grab my son, my sweet son. I smack her hands away, causing her to cry out. I take the blanket from her as she drops it, wrapping it around my special son.

The insolent wench keeps eyeing us, worry and concern written in her eyes. The wench dares to question me. The wench dares to bother me. ‘’Good. Now leave us. I wish to be alone with my son.’’ I announce to her, cradling my sweet boy. He is the only thing giving me joy. He is all I live for. I finally found peace in a way that I never would imagine that motherhood would grant me.

The maid gulps before speaking, as if she knows that she is making a grave mistake. She tries to take the child from my arms. She tries to take away my son. ‘’He’s dead, my lady. He never lived. He came outside of you, silent as the grave. He does not have eyes, my Lady. He’s a mon-’’ I put my son down in his cradle. Before she can finish her sentence and call my son an awful name, I have wrapped my hands around her throat and started choking with all my might, as I try to snap her neck as if its a unworthy stick of wood.

The wench cried out and its hard to believe I once tried to save her life by whoring myself to Aemond. I just want her to shut up. I want everyone to just shut up. ‘’My lady! Grgk!’

I chuckle with a voice much unlike my own. ‘’You dare, call my son, the prince of Dragonstone, a monster?’’ I eye my son, but he is still safely in his crib. Good. If anyone touches him…

It will be the last thing they feel before they die. ‘’Please, my lady. He is. You must cremate him and move on. You are slowly becoming dangerous my lady.’’ Cremate him? Why would I? He is my son. He will never leave me. They took too much from me. No one will take anything from me again. Not my son.

I laugh, in her face. ‘’I never was not dangerous. I just lied to myself. I don’t want to lie anymore. My son, he is all I have. Do you understand? Aemond and his whore-bitch took it all from me. I will bathe in their blood.’’

"Stop!" Of course. I turn around, still choking the maid. Aemond is there. He is here. Good. He is next.

I lash out, forgetting he is supposed to mean nothing to me. ‘’She called him a monster. She called him a monster!” I softly mumble the rest of the words, as tears burst from my eyes and sobs rock my body. Aemond sighs before taking my hands from her throat. She runs off instantly.

‘Where is she.’’ I ask him, without looking in his direction. I notice his brows start to knit together with worry and concern as he takes in our son.

Aemond is surprised. ‘’You haven’t cremated him yet.’’ I would rather throw myself in the flames than offer my innocent babe to it.

I smile, chuckling. Aemond doesn’t know. Aemond’s stupid. He always has been blinded. Not by his eye, but by his bloodlust, his greed, his ambitions. ‘’You will not touch him. You have no right to touch the future king of the seven Kingdoms.’’

Aemond becomes uneasy. ‘’Are you hearing yourself speak?! You’ve gone insane.’’ Now it is his throat that I am holding. ‘’Who’s to blame for that? Is it our blood causing the insanity, or is it our lifes full of tragedy and never-ending heartbreak.’ Aemond easily kicks himself free, kicking me in my stomach. The wounds have not yet healed. He does help me up once I have let go of him.

‘’Where is she.’’ I grit out. ‘’I need to stop her. We all need-’’

‘’You are delirious.’’

‘’I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about anything anymore. Do you have any idea what it is like, pushing something out of you that is cold and dead?’’ I chuckle. Of course he doesn’t. His face softens. ‘’Daella…’’

‘’I did this for you! I wanted you back! You only cared about me for some pity revenge against my mother! It was never about me! It was always about you, you and you!’

He becomes insulted. Good. ‘’Daella!’

‘’Go back to Harrenhal. Go fucking fuck that whore sister of mine, and fuck yourself into a early grave. You will never lay with me again. He will be our only son. If you ever become as stupid as to bring your witchling children here, I swear they won’t survive to see the next day.’’

‘’You dare threaten my children?’’ He groans. I only chuckle.

‘’You dared to murder ours. I have nothing left, Aemond….’’ I notice that the crib is empty. Empty as I feel inside. I run to the crib, when desperate screams leave my body. ‘’No, no no no! My son! My beautiful baby boy!’

Aemond is shocked as well. ‘’That is impossible.’’

I am close to ripping my own hair out. ‘’It is not! Don’t you understand? She has taken him! She needs him!’’ Why is he so stupid. And why can’t I tell him what I want?

Aemond scoffs. ‘’She needs our dead son?’’

This man. ‘’Aemond, it was never about you.’’ Alys appears, finally. She rubs her pregnant belly mockingly and smiles when kissing Aemond’s cheek. ‘’You have tried very hard to put a son inside me. Unfortunately, I don’t have use for our child.’’ With a simple wave of her wrist a blade appears. She drives it through her own stomach, cutting out the child. Aemond bristles in anger and fear.

She turns to look at me. ‘’And you, little sister. Torn in my eye…’’ I have barely any energy left to fight. The voices speak loud. They scream. They tell me that Alys is pregnant. It is over for all of us. It will be over for all of us soon.

Aemond defends me but he is too late. ‘’You will not hurt her.’’ I need to find him. I need to protect him. He cannot be the monster she wants him to be. Alys will make him a weapon. She will destroy him and this world.

The witch chuckles as I bite my fingers, trying to find my son under pillows. ‘’I don’t have to Aemond.’’ ‘’You did it for me. Just look at her. She has gone fully mad, the poor thing.’’

Aemond realises that Alys kills me, but he handed her the knife. ‘’Stop. You are doing this. I know you are. Make her stop. I can’t bare to see her like this.’’

I repeat more and more phrases, faster and faster as my vision starts to blur. ‘’Pregnant. She’s pregnant. It’s all over. The blade, the dagger. The song of ice and fire. The seed is strong, the dragons danced, its over. Protect the blade.’’

I laugh. ‘’My son…I must…find…my…son.’’ I see him, outside of the windows. He smiles at me, my son. He is beautiful. He is flapping his wings, he is free and his eyes. They are beautiful. Almost seen through. Like two perfect diamonds. My beautiful boy. I must go to him. Now.

Aemond can’t move to stop me as I rush to the window and let myself fall down. Aemond can hear how my body splashes against the ground, before likely bursting into different pieces ‘’No!’’

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

WRITING PROMPTS REGARDING ABORTION AND MISCARRIAGE 

trigger warnings for graphic description of the above topics, human trafficking, cannibalism, violence against pregnant women.

everything about this is entirely fictional, meant for writers. since I understand there aren’t many whump blogs that feel comfortable writing prompts about the subject (very understandable), I figured I could offer writers out there some prompts about this, in case they were looking for ideas for their works.

that being said, while the prompts are not real, the subject is very much real and can be triggering, so if it’s not something you’re comfortable with, don’t read below the line.

__________________୨ ୧ __________________

*feel free to change/adjust the pronouns however you want

a pregnant whumpee got kicked in the stomach by whumper, which led to miscarriage.

a pregnant whumpee, who was a housewife, fell down the stairs at her house when her partner was away for work. she didn’t tell her partner about the incident either because she was afraid he was going to get mad at her or because she thought it was fine and didn’t want to worry him. until she suffered severe bleeding that turned the mattress red at night.

whumpee who went through miscarriage kept hallucinating a life where her child was alive and she got to raise them. caretaker tried to help her, and even though her condition only seemed to get worse, they refused to send her to an asylum. 

whumpee who lost her child during childbirth refused to surrender her child’s corpse. It was understandable at first, until the child started to decompose and rot in her arms and she, with a knife in her hand, would attack anyone who tried to take her baby away from her.

whumpee was a sex slave who got pregnant, the thing was that it was a mistake. so in order for her to be able to continue doing ‘her job’, whumper made her undergo unsafe abortion by having a straightened-out wire with sharp edge (from a coat hanger) inserted into her vagina and into her uterus. they got the fetus out, but whumpee later got a nasty infection that resulted in her suffering from hallucinations, and her not being able to stand or stop her pale, naked body from shivering. whether or not she was rescued in time is up to you, the writer. 

whumper is an OB doctor who often lied to the patients that they miscarried their perfectly healthy stillborns and that the babies needed to be surgically removed in order to save the moms’ lives. this made it very easy for the doc to get away with eating fetuses, since the moms would rather not keep the corpses of their stillborns anyway, and police were never involved. (I mean who would question a licensed physician?!)

[disasterfandoms]

Don't Go Where I Can't Follow, Chapter Two || A Seal Team Story

A/N: This is Chapter two of the story that started this entire series: The Fix it! I will have the masterlist and the first chapter of the story linked! Reminder that this is set during/after the season 4 finale, and is based on the premise of Metal not dying. Pease note that I nor @bravo-four-seal-team are experts in medicine and therefore there are probably inconcistencies in this story.

TW: suicidal ideation, suicidal attempt. sex, pregnancy, vomit, alcohol use, description of medical procedures, death, near-death, code blue, domestic violence, PTSD, depression, anxiety, graphic language, mental abuse, hallucinations, blood, panic attacks, mention of miscarriage, mention of past abuse, mention of past injury, mention of disabilities, stalking, kidnapping, mention of ventilators, mention of comas, mention of past abuse, mention of stillborns, mention of rape, rape, mentions of gags/bondage.

AO3 Series Masterlist

Chapter 1

It was easy for her to run, she could get away from her thoughts for a while, forget about the emotions, just focus on breathing, where she was going, how she held herself, she just kept moving. They all had their own ways of coping and processing the day, running for her allowed her to escape from everything. 

She was tempted to drop Adonis back to Amelia and then just go back to base, work on the things she needed to do, but she knew that would never happen, knew Amelia would be on her ass if she decided to up and vanish, like she had done multiple times when things got tough. 

She slowed down, checking her watch and seeing the time, she’d stay out for another hour, sitting on the grass she huffed, getting the water bottle she had picked up and a collapsible bowl, popping it open then filling it so the german shepherd could drink. She never took her phone with her, it was still sitting on the table at Amelia and Trent’s place, she really wished she was overseas, least she would be able to focus and keep busy, no one would complain if she didn’t eat, there were times when they couldn’t, and they could only have protein bars, which she hated, but would eat. 

The Marine soon stood up, starting at an easy pace, before picking up speed and running with Adonis back home, well back to Amelia’s. She hated having to stay at hers, always feeling like she was just getting in the way of things. Eventually, she did get back, removing Adonis’ leash and letting him inside, she followed behind, the house was dark and quiet, so she would keep quiet as well, moving silently, locking the door and moving to get water. She was now exhausted, so sleep would hopefully come easily to her. 

“How was your run? Hi Donnie! Hi baby, you have fun? Hmm? Gonna sleep with me tonight? T’s gonna kill us when we comes back, isn’t he?” She would have laughed, seeing Ash jump a foot in the air, had the face mask she put on after her shower allowed her to.

Ash would never admit that Amelia caught her off guard, but she jumped and felt her heart rate skyrocket "the run was good, Adonis was an absolute angel, I'm gonna turn in for the night" she says "I'll need to go to...the store get things in the fridge for when they return." She speaks quietly "How was your call?" She asked as she took a drink of water. As much as she wanted to toss back a glass or two of whiskey, she couldn't, she hadn't eaten, but she also was cutting down on how much she drank "You should be in bed Ames"

“Donnie’s always a good boy, aren’t you?” Adonis barked in response, his tail wagging. Amelia nodded, and he ran upstairs to her bed, jumping on where Trent usually slept and waited. 

“Call was good, Scott was asleep, Trent looked exhausted. And it’s only… 8:30. I’m gonna have a cup of tea and work on the schematic and some ideas on trying to convince Trent on turning the formal dining room, which we don’t use, into a playroom for Willow, a place to keep all the toys her auntie Ash, Uncle Scot-Scot, and her grandparents keep supplying.” She said, poking fun at how they love to spoil her daughter.

The young woman grinned slightly, she had a habit of coming back from wherever she had been deployed to with toys and clothes. 

"Well," she says "You enjoy your tea, but I'm gonna go to sleep." Really she just couldn't continue to stay awake, letting the worry eat at her, it had gotten to the point of the feeling of being hungry and gone, the water she had drunk was the only thing she had since being told about Metal.

"Enjoy your evening Amelia" she smiled to her sister-in-law before moving to the guest room.

“Night Ash, come get me if you need me,” Amelia told the young woman, but in the back of her mind she knew Ashley would rather suffer and die than as for help. She sighed, grabbing a mug and filling it up, before heading back upstairs to Adonis and her laptop, enjoying the time alone. 

——————————————————————

Downside of sleeping on a ship, you could hear every little noise. Voices would bounce around and stop people, the crew from getting a decent sleep. 

Metal was being woken and checked on by  medical staff, which he wasn't too pleased about, however they were beginning to prepare for transport off the ship and to a plane.

The rest of Bravo had been woken and told to go pack their gear and get sorted out. There was still some tension between Clay and Sonny, which wasn't helping matters "Think he regrets his words?" Clay asked. 

"Who?" 

"Metal" Sonny added, looking over, to the others "you know 'Chernobyl of fun' from where I'm standing none of it was fun" the Texan said as he zipped his bag closed.  

Clay nodding "Pretty sure he jinxed himself" he sighed 

Jason rolled his eyes "Yeah well someone still owes him a case of beer." The others stopping and looking at Clay and Jason "Clay did the needle decompression" Bravo one informed "First time" 

"Thought I was out of firsts" Clay smirked. Trent during this time had kept quiet "How's the family holding up?" Brock asked. Drawing the attention to Trent who still looked exhausted. 

"Amelia is trying to hold it together, Ashley I'm pretty sure is on her way to a breakdown, someone else talk to that stubborn ass of a man about calling his family" Trent huffed. 

"I'll give it a shot, but I make no promises I'll get anywhere" Jason states, Soto appearing in the doorway "Be ready to go, got word that they're sending a bird for us in the next hour." He informed them. 

The team all relaxed knowing that they were getting out and away from the ship and never needed to be on one again for a long time. "Hey Brock" Sonny smirked "You still gotta tell Metal about the fun he missed out on" 

The team laughed, while the dog handler did not look too impressed to be the one to speak up and say something.

——————————

After Jason finally got all his stuff packed away, he made his way down to Medbay to see his brother. Jason, deep down, feels like shit that Metal got injured saving his and Clay’s asses from the RPG. Metal is his teammate now, he felt the need to protect him as such. It always hurts a little to go down and see him, just because, god, he must be in agony from the wounds he suffered. 

Jason walked into Medbay, finding Metal being poked and prodded by the nurses, trying to make sure he’s safe and stable for transport. He had to laugh at the sight, Metal looked terrified of needles. 

“Don’t.” Metal growled, then smiled politely at the nursing staff who seemed a bit afraid of him. 

That caused Jason to double over in laughter. “I-I’m sorry, Metal, but you’re afraid of needles?”

“Always have been. Pain in the ass to give vaccines to. Why are you here when they’re loading us all up on the same aircraft?”

“Trent asked someone to get it through your skull to call your family.”

Metal groaned, shaking his head. He didn’t want to talk to anyone yet, he’d rather just wait until they were all stateside and they could just see it for themselves. “Not happening, Hayes.”

“Why the hell not? Just send an email to the both of them saying you’re fine, you love them, and you’ll see them at the tarmac.” Jason huffed, putting his hands on his hips. He didn’t understand why Metal was being so damn stubborn about this. 

“Dammit, Jason. Not ready to talk to anyone about any of it, and I know my family. They won’t leave it alone.” Metal said, angry at the injuries, at his sister’s stubbornness. 

“They’re worried about you, Metal. Trent’s worried about all of you. Tell them you don’t want asked anything, not yet.”

Metal scoffed, “Yeah, like that’ll work. You met Amelia? Ashley? They’re both equally as annoyingly good at making someone talk.”

It hit Jason what might actually be wrong with Metal, why he won’t talk to his family. “You’re worried you won’t operate again. Is that it?”

“Hayes I swear to god, leave it alone.” Metal said menacingly, and it would have worked if he was able to do anything.

Jason just shook his head, and sighed, “Scott, send them the email. You’re alive, they don’t expect you to be 100%. Ashley, who I know you love, is going through some rough shit because you won’t talk to her.”

Metal sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to get the headache to go away. He finally resigned to emailing them, nodding, and shooing Jason away before everyone gets yelled at. He then sends an email to both Amelia and Ashley, before shutting down his laptop and pulling out his book again. 

This was gonna be a long flight home.

——————————————————————

The time it took from the ship to land, to board the plane, was already hell, especially for Metal since both Clay and Sonny had begun to quote things at him, Trent silently watching from where he sat, offering no help to his friend at all. 

They had 6 hours in the air, before they landed home. 

Trent just hoped both Clay and Sonny realised that Metal could probably kill them with the book he was holding, and was trying to finish. “Bet you totally regret the fun meter idea” Sonny grinned, Clay nodding “Got jinxed man” 

“If you like living you’ll leave me alone” Metal responded, trying to focus on the page he was re-reading for the 8th time. Trent sighed “Clay, Sonny, I got watch go sleep” he suggested, no one argued, both SEALs moving towards where they had set up so they could sleep. 

“Don’t start” Metal warned, Trent raised an eyebrow “Don’t start what? I’m sitting here keeping an eye on you” he responded, almost challenging his friend to make an excuse about what he thought he was doing. 

“You sent Jase to talk to me about emailing the girls” Metal frowned “I told you I would do it when I was ready” 

“When would that be? Once you got to a hospital stateside, where, you’d deny them entry for visiting? Or maybe you plan on shutting them out fully? You do realise your gonna be stuck with them, if it wasn’t Jason, I can guarantee, Amelia would have called Blackburn to order you to make contact” 

The look on his friend's face was enough to tell him that he got off lightly with Jason talking to him “I think you’d prefer Amelia and Ashley checking on you, rather than these guys pestering you.” he said, leaning back and crossing his arms “Won’t be long until you have to deal with Amelia worrying, she’ll be at the tarmac, your girlfriend however is gonna wait until your settled in hospital to check on you. Get some sleep.” Trent stated, removing the book from Metal’s hands. 

The unimpressed look Metal shot Trent spoke a thousand words,but Trent really didn't care at this point.

______________________________________________

4:30 AM. 

She’s going to kill Trent for making this her normal. Here she was, though, wide awake before dawn, Adonis sleeping peacefully where her husband should be laying. She gives him the lightest kiss on the head, and petted him a little bit before getting up to start the day. 

She first checks on her daughter, making sure she was okay before going downstairs and starting a pot of coffee, considering what to do for food since Ashley has takeout from the night before. She also needs to go to the store, get Trent some of his favorites before he comes home, it helps him get back to normal faster after a deployment. Amelia gets a cup of coffee, sits down at the bar and opens her laptop, checking her email. 

She’s received two of importance: one from Trent, saying they were on their way home and should be there by noon; and the other from Scott. She quickly opens the email from her big brother, which reads: 

“Mellie,

You need to stop worrying about me. I’m okay! As long as they have me drugged up, I can barely feel any of it. You probably just rolled your eyes at that, and if so, then mission accomplished. 

Take care of Ashley for me while I’m stuck on this godforsaken ship, and while I’m laid up in the hospital stateside. She’ll never admit it to me, but she’s probably terrified, unnecessarily so. 

Also, where the hell have my Willow pictures and videos?!? Thought you promised me at least one video and one picture a day of my little Willow tree. Yes I still call her that, and yes it’s still hilarious to me you named her after a tree. 

Most of all: Take care of yourself while I’m trapped. Know this stuff is never easy on you, even though you hide it well. Lean on your husband, dammit, it’s what he’s there for. Well, when he is there. 

Love you, stop worrying. 

Scotty.”

Amelia’s eyes couldn’t contain her tears as she read the email, she’s been trying to keep it together since she found out, but hearing from him broke the dam. She let them fall for a few minutes, everyone was  still asleep upstairs and she didn’t need to be strong for anyone in that moment. After that, though, she wiped up those tears and went on when her morning, drinking coffee and reading the news, making a grocery list, and then getting ready to get her daughter’s morning started after she got dressed.

————————

She was never a fan of sleeping, it's always been that way, she would nap here and there, 20-40 minutes each time. 

One thing that she hated was not knowing, she preferred having a plan, routine, so by 5am she was up, bed straightened, made to military standard like how she was taught. She began with push ups, which changed to sit ups then squats. 

She would need to eat something, so she reached for her uniform pulling out one of many protein bars she carried, opening then eating it. 

Why did they all taste like paper?

Grabbing paper from her notebook she carried she wrote down things she needed to do. 

She grabbed her toothbrush from her bag sighing slightly, she was supposed to be deploying in 24 hours, now she wasn't. Going to the guest shower room, she turned the tap on, brushing her teeth, once that was down, she grabbed a quick shower, dressed in what she had, plain sandy colour t-shirt and cargo pants, tying her hair into a bun out her face. Then pulled on her boots and headed downstairs. 

Second thing on the list, make sure Amelia was ok, see if she needed anything picked up "Morning Amelia" she said when she saw her friend "I'm gonna head out, gotta feed that kids, Void got into the main container again" she says showing her the video alert she got from the feeder "You ok?" She frowned, looking at her friend "You've been crying" she states worried, watching the woman Infront of her "Trent and Scott ok?" 

Seeing her friend nod, she raised and eyebrow "So why were you crying, don't give me that look" she warns "I know you, and know what your look when you've been in tears"

“It’s nothing, I’m fine Ash. Seriously, nothing’s wrong. Got an email from Trent, they’re on their way home, said something about them touching down at noon,” Amelia says, smiling. She’s omitting Scott’s email purposely, she doesn’t want Ash to feel like something is wrong with their relationship on purpose if he for some godforsaken reason didn’t email his girlfriend too.

Ashley shrugged "Alright, you need anything picked up? I'm gonna head out, gotta drop something at base, sort out the cat feeder, actually probably replace it, then head to the store,”  she says. 

The marine leant against the wall, checking the time "I logged out of the email account, pretty sure sitting refreshing that app was not helping my sanity." She smiles slightly, clearing her throat "Better crack on with the day. See if I can get my co to let me cover any training session while I'm stateside" she hums, picking up her keys "If you need anything call or text me, I can pick up a few things to save you rushing about"

Amelia smiled, “I’m making my grocery list now, Trent has a rough time readjusting so I try and accommodate by getting his favorites for him. Me and Willa-loo are going when they open, then it’s just a matter of getting her ready to see her Dad in person for the first time in two months. He told me last night he’s worried she’ll think he’s a stranger.” Amelia chuckled, then continued, “Hey Ash? … check your email.”

“Willow will be so happy to see Trent” Ashley grinned, glancing at the time “I will check later, once I sorted out a few things required to do” she hummed. “If you need anything, let me know, I’ll see you later at some point. Gonna be a while at Base” she huffed, walking towards the front door.

“I know that, but he’s not convinced. Bye Ash, read your email and i’ll see you at the hospital later.” Ameli said, waving goodbye to her friend and getting on with her day, starting with taking Adonis out and then getting the baby’s outfit picked out.

______________________________

Time passed quickly, and soon everyone found themselves back on home soil, the team made sure Metal was safely off the plane, jokes being shared, the team laughing and smiling, promise to visit Metal when they could, of course he did not support that idea and wanted to be left alone and not be disturbed, as Medics took over the transport to the ambulance. 

Blackburn bringing Amelia and Willow over to their family, knowing that Amelia would settle better once she had eyes on her older brother, the commander of DEVGRU looking to Bravo, congratulating them on a job well done, telling everyone to go home, while he made sure everyone had downtime until they were needed again. 

Trent grinning as he saw his wife, and his daughter, who had grown since the last time he saw her.  The rest of the team moved to their own families, but told the little family to call them, if they needed anything. 

It was always like that, when someone was hurt, or it was a fresh relationship or newborn, everyone jumped in to offer a helping hand, it was always like that. 

“Hey sailor, how was your flight?” Amelia asked, laughing as Trent dropped his bag and barreled into them, giving her possibly the biggest hug she’s ever gotten in her life. 

“Fine, full of people annoying Scott while he tried to read. Hi sunshine! Can I hold?” He asked their daughter, making a “come here” motion with his hands. He was incredibly relieved when she moved her grip off of Amelia and reached for him instead. 

“Think someone missed her Daddy as much as I did.” Amelia smiled, hugging Trent on one side while Willow was happily kicking her feet, looking around the tarmac. She waved at Scott, before removing herself from Trent and walking over to him. Trent nodded at her to go, he knew she needed to see him and he was happy to just be holding his daughter. 

Holy shit, she’s grown so much since he last saw her. 

Amelia didn’t take long with Scott, just gently hugging him and telling him she’s glad he’s alive, before she nodded to the paramedics that they can take him.  She watched them be wheeled away, before walking back to her family, beyond happy her husband was home, was safe. 

“You ready to go, love?” She asked Trent, whose entire focus was on Willow, talking to her about how big she’s gotten. 

“Yeah, can we stop by the house, let me shower and change before we go?” He asked, moving to the side of the vehicle with the car seat, putting Willow in and making sure she’s secured. 

“Yeah of course. Probably easier if we let her have her morning nap at home, let her eat lunch and then leave. Gonna text Ash, tell her he’s on his way to the hospital and we’ll be there around one.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Hey, T?”

“Yeah honey?”

“I love you, and I’m glad you’re home.”

“I love you too.”

---------------------

The second Amelia text her, she grabbed the things she knew would be needed for Metals hospital stay. It took an hour to get to the hospital.

It then took her a while to actually go into the hospital, she mostly just sat staring at the building, god she hated these places, she waited for a while so she was sure that Scott was by now in his room, probably complaining, maybe sleeping, most likely reading. 

Asking for the information, and sharing her relation to him, she made her way to the ward and then the room, taking a breath, waiting until the nurses and doctors left the room. Knocking on the door and smiling slightly “Hey” she whispered “I brought you, well things I guess you’ll need” she says, holding the bag up. 

She was surprised when he closed the book, and set it down “Have you even slept?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, Ash rolled her eyes, setting the bag down on the chair next to the bed “Few hours here and there, how are you holding up?” she asked. 

“Surviving, in a shit load of pain, but I'm alive” Metal responded, reaching out and taking Ashleys hand “Stop worrying.” 

“Oh please. We both know that I won't quit worrying about you, just like you worry about me” Ashley tuts “You know that talk.” she smirks, seeing the look of confusion cross his face “Something along the lines of, you can be heroic, but you need to deal with the consequences?” she states. 

“Ashley, don’ start” he warns, but Ashley laughed “Like I would, as much as I love you, and your need to look after the team, I need you to get better, then I’ll rip you a new one for freaking me, right, Ames says she and T will be here at one, but...I gotta bounce, finish sorting things out, but I will be back, you play nice” 

“I'm always nice”

“Only when you want to be, get some sleep.”

“You too Ashley” 

“Eh I’ll sleep when your home” 

______________________________________________________________

Coming home was always weird for Trent. He tried to spend his deployment completely focused on the present, trusting Amelia has the home front settled, so he can enjoy himself if he can and focus on getting home safely. 

That focus, however, comes with a price when he comes home. Everytime he walks through the door, for the first couple weeks, he feels like a stranger and a guest, all at the same time. Doesn’t matter the state of the deployment, home never feels like home until he gets situated again. 

This deployment is no different. Walking into the house feels foreign to him, especially since this was the first time he’s been gone for more than a week since Willow was born. Even though Amelia had cleaned before they picked him up, he still saw the toys, the playpen, not that he minded, helped him to know life went on while he was gone. 

Still, feels a little weird. 

He put his bag down in the entryway, immediately going upstairs to shower, scrub his skin raw, try to was off the stench of the ship, the memories burned into his brain. His mind kept skipping to the last mission, seeing Brock struggle with the terrorist while Ray froze. Then when he froze again in the field, only this time it was both Ray and himself in trouble. He tried to push it out of his mind, he was safe at home, with his wife and daughter. He wouldn’t be able to, though, not for a little while. 

After a while he gets out, changes into clothes that aren’t his uniform, and heads back downstairs, petting Adonis when he sees him. Amelia’s in the kitchen, the baby on her hip, making a bottle. He comes up behind them, putting one arm around Amelia’s waist and digging his face into the crook of her neck. 

“I’ll feed her, go take care of yourself,” Trent offered, letting go and backing up a few steps, letting Amelia turn around. Amelia nods, smiling and leaning her hip with Willow on it towards him, letting him grab her. She gave him the bottle once it was ready, and he went to sit on the couch, propping his feet up, laying Willow down and giving her the bottle. God she’s grown up on him, he couldn’t believe that in just two months she’s as big and strong as she's gotten. 

“I’m, uh, gonna go on a run with Adonis. He got a good one in with Ash last night but it’s been a while since it’s just been the two of us,” Amelia smiled, leaning on the doorframe, her arms crossed, Adonis’s leash in her hand. 

“Go, I got her. Gonna get some snuggling in with Willow and watch something. Have fun, and be careful.”

“We will, won’t we Donnie? Yeah? Ready to go? C’mon! Be back in like an hour.” Amelia smiled, clipping the lease to the German Shepherd and walking out the door.

Trent looked down at his daughter, her bright eyes staring back up at him. Seeing her just instantly puts a smile on his face. He tickles her leg, his fingers going up her side, then pinched her cheeks, causing her to giggle. 

Yeah, he could get used to this.

——————————————————————

Ashley had returned to the hospital, but never went in Metals room, standing watching him read, she was just glad he was relaxed. 

She kept out the way while staff checked on him, letting out a sigh, she moved forward, knocking once again on the door then entering when he looked over "Forgot how fast you get through books" she states leaning against the wall, allowing the nurse the room to move around and do the checks, the marine couldn't tell you what was being checked, all she knew was, her boyfriend was trying to hide the pain "Could he get painkillers or something? He won't ask, he's too stubborn" she grinned. 

Moving to sit down, making sure not to knock the side of the bed. "So, other than, these lovely injuries deployment go ok?" She asked 

"Was slow, boring, Brock got sea sick, Trent decided to research, think it was scurvy?" 

"...Brock got sea sick and he's in the Navy…" she blinked, smirking slightly "Course Trent was more worried about some weird sickness...I swear I thought he was the sane one in the family" seeing the small smile she got from the man. "Heard you managed to create a fight club and take down all of Bravo" 

The injured man chuckled "You'd think they'd know they can't beat me" he said, setting the book down "took the rest of them to tackle me down, somehow turned to the Bravo pile" 

"You get to fight Hayes? If not I want front row seats"

She was happy that Metal was talking to the, though she could see the energy leaving, while sleep tried to take hold. "Babe, rest up, it'll help the pain, when you wake up, I'll be here ok?" She said quietly, watching him nod slowly "Good, gotta get rest before your friends come crashing your peace" she hummed while she watched as the man fell asleep. 

Leaning back in her chair letting out a breath, and closing her eyes, counting to ten before going on her phone and researching some things.

[carolinemoon]

That even thinking about it coldly with the passing of weeks there are people who think that ShowRhaenyra loves ShowDaemon and say that whoever does not see it has no capacity for understanding, well I suppose that humanity hallucinated when they saw her being unfaithful and being colder than an iceberg when they met again, and not, feeling alone is no excuse. ShowDaemon does not love her either because he only decided not to push his own claim after his last hallucination and when in another ShowViserys gave him to understand that the crown destroys you X'D but yes, a legendary love.

I still don't understand what people see as romantic in that story, ShowRhaenyra wasn't in love with Daemon, as the real Rhaenyra was, she just felt him as a challenge and envied him for being a man, that's not love, they don't have a proper courtship, they both turn the page at the speed of light, the only intimate scene (because the brothel thing is pathetic) they have is so but so cold and bland, there's no passion, and ShowRhaenyra's marriage proposal is largely political and loses all meaning once they're married, neither of them seems to care especially about their children, they don't give their stillborn daughter a name and turn her funeral into a coronation, they have no attachment to each other or to the family they've built. People who want these two to be parents again should think about It twice, I wouldn't want to condemn anyone else to put up with them as parental figures xd.

[aslightaddity]

Dappy!verse Lore Scarecrow

Jonathan was abandoned as an infant.

His biological parents were Mexican immigrants who got married young, Jon was going to be their thirteenth child, tenth not to be stillborn. His mother suffered from postpartum ‘hysteria’ and many times she swore that if she were to have another child it would be the devil himself.

After his birth, his mother was convinced that he truly was the devil, She refused to even hold him and tried to suffocate him before she was stopped by the nurses, eventually surrendering him to the state.

He was taken in and eventually adopted by the elderly nurse, Evelyn Crane. She was a catholic widow and her few children were grown up and had left the state. He was a timid and scared child.

Everyone but Evelyn saw him as an evil cursed child often beating and ridiculing him when he was out in public without Evelyn. He slowly became a recluse, choosing to stay inside the small school’s library or somewhere in the vast fields of crops where he could hide and wasn’t easily seen.

He eventually began to learn what his tormentors despised and used it against them as he wasn’t as squeamish as the other kids when it came to the common fears like, frogs, bugs, or heights. He often filled their rooms or bags with the hated item, to the best of his ability or he made it so that they would have to face it.

When they would complain about it the adult would often scoff it off, these were just parts of living where they did. Even if the town saw him a a devil they had some common sense. They would blame him for crop circles but for a random spider infestation or a faulty bulb? Those were just parts of living so far out.

Due to his ostracized status, when he wasn’t at school or hiding, He took care of the small farm he and Evelyn did had, from the crops to their aging mare named Lilith, he loved Lilith since he was little and taught himself to ride on her for fun. She was a gentle Friesian and enjoyed their rides.

But as he grew, Evelyn aged more and more and they eventually moved to Gotham so she could stay with her eldest son, who tried his damnest not to interact with Jon as he was ‘off putting’, and get treatment for what ailed her and for Jon to get a better education as he had finished all the schooling their country community offered and rather fast at that. It broke his heart to leave Lilith but he knew it was a necessary sacrifice.

Jon got along well with one of his new neighbors, Ramon, a peculiar man who offered to lend him books on chemistry, neuroscience, psychology, and any other scientific subject he showed interest in. Ramon would also ramble about a distant relative Jon reminded him of who was a cowboy during the Mexican American war.

Despite what he claimed to be a pure love for science the unnerving pattern of striking people with their fears grew again as he began learning how fear worked in the brain and body, eventually he was able to theorize a mixture that when inhaled or injected would give vivid hallucinations of the fear.

He wasn’t a well trained chemist so his experiments to create it caused him to slowly build a tolerance to it however it did worsen the damage his lungs requiring years of medical attention to more or less ‘fix’. However due to lack actual test subjects he went about trying it out on his peers at college.

He would often target known partiers or drug users so that if the reaction where to be seen by other people it would have a reasonable excuse. Although it did add a variable he didn’t quite like to his experiments.

Eventually he spread the toxin into an exam hall, allowing a more controlled test and for them all to pass due to the ‘gas leak’. He excitedly confided his experiment with Ramon who was so disgusted with him that he threatened to tell Evelyn, out of instinct Jon used the gas against him. But the batch was rather potent and caused him to go into such a fit that his breathing became so shallow and he passed out. In regret he called an ambulance saying that he had a mental breakdown.

Evelyn had gifted him a crow as gift when he got his PHD, he would name it Ichabod and she was the last gift he got before Evelyn passed due to health complications. After finishing college, he ended up working in Arkham Asylum. While secretly testing on inmates and he quickly stole the title of head of the doctors form Hugo strange (starting a rivalry). Due to his title he had to deal with newer nurses/doctors and med students, usually begrudgingly. He never was good with people.

He was loved by the med students though, for some reason. One specifically was one Harleen Quinzel who he eventually warmed up to. He also dealt with companies who supplied the medical equipment, one was the TETCH tech company who promised to invest in his toxin as its medical division was expanding. Under the table his took this offer, so that nether would be in danger for it.

Eventually it was when one Jervis Tetch was placed in his care by his family did he realize the company’s true morals. He didn’t end his contract but he began to spend more than they allotted and milking them for as much as he could, terrorizing them when they denied.

Eventually one night he gave them a rather lethal dose and they died screaming so loudly that neighbors called the police, Jon was able to escape in time but the police had a warrant for a man whose face was covered by a burlap sack and supposedly answered to the name the scarecrow.

Seeing his opportunity he took the ideas that emerged from their fear whelmed minds and became The Scarecrow, although his clothes past the mask more referenced vaquero fashion like the cowboy Ramon always said he reminded him of.

Upon his first arrest, as he wasn’t used to the sneaking around in such an urban setting, especially against the bat, he was placed in Arkham. However due to his history and status there he was treated with a lot of leniency. As he became more and more scarecrow than Jonathan he reconnected with Jervis and Harley. Both bright minds who went down similar paths.

[tuulikannel]

Fran Bow & Chekhov's gun

(The title is a joke and at the same time it isn't ^^;;)

Spoilers for the very end of the game (and a pretty sad theory about it.)

When I first played the game (and the second and the third time too), I had totally forgotten about the gun Fran found in the very beginning in the nurse's desk. She thought then something like, "why does the nurse have this, she's going to kill us all!" And then, at the very end, we see Dr. Oswald shooting Fran with what I'm now sure has to be the very same gun.

Now, here's the sad theory: Fran really is crazy. Everything (and I mean absolutely everything) is her imagination. Little Fran in ch. 5 is a memory from the past, and she is already then at the asylum. When Fran thinks she's been chained to her bed, she in fact being restrained in the asylum. When she's freed, she's perhaps being taken to see the doctor... or maybe to the dreadful basement. Maybe when she descends into Mabuka's heart, maybe that's when she's taken to the downstairs.

And then, because of her hallucinations she attacks someone (probably not Aunt Grace but a nurse), and the old nurse shoots her to stop her. And so she dies... and at the very end imagines all her friends coming to save her.

I think her hallucinations are based on things she has heard in the asylum (for example, rumors about the twins and their fate). Also, she surely knows the story of Alice in Wonderland, and that probably had an effect on her too. We saw in ch. 5 a photo of her and her friend Alice (even though she earlier said her cat was her only friend!) And this Alice supposedly liked coming up with stories about a wonderland she could visit. Maybe she too was an imaginary friend? Or another insane girl in the asylum who thought she was the Alice of the story...

I wonder if Mr. Midnight even existed. The little Fran didn't know anything about him. And in that photo of Fran and Alice (if it is real), she has something that looks like stuffed toy cat.

What was behind Fran's madness, then? Perhaps she was crazy from birth. (I'm still wondering if she didn't have a stillborn twin. There are references to stillbirth in the game.) Or perhaps her relationship with her parents wasn't quite that good (I've talked about this before, but that "daddy wasn't there, mommy would not care" really hints at that), and maybe she did kill her parents, or at least attacked them. The way she says "everything is fine" makes me think the opposite might be true.

I wonder if her parents were killed the way it's shown in the beginning. After Fran wakes up from the hypnotism, the nurse asks the doctor if there was anything new, and he replies, "same visions as before." Perhaps they are only that. Visions. Delusions. Who knows?

In any case, Fran has some kind of a trauma, that is for sure. The nurse's book in the beginning had a mention that children with trauma might find it hard to trust people. Perhaps this is why Fran thought Aunt Grace had betrayed her (after all, Grace didn't get her out of the asylum).

Well... I don't know. And of course, it's impossible to claim that any theory would be the only true one. I think this is what I believe at the moment though... that sadly, none of it is real, she spent the whole time in the "House of Madness" and in the end died there.

...the first chapter was called "My Sober Day." That was the only chapter where we saw her in the real asylum. Perhaps that was the only time in the game when she was sober... that is, clear-headed at all. And from then on, she just went downhill. Maybe she did steal some pills that fed her hallucinations.

Any thoughts, anyone?

[sparkys-ec-corner]

,,,can you please infodump me about to be irregular. idc if it's like five thousand words I just need to knOW MORE-

OMG 😳😳😳 *cracks knuckles* let's go guys (2nd chapter of tbi and sol invictus when, me????? it's been months!!! *cries in hands*)

okok so. basically, tbi's timeline is fundamentally broken from its creation. luna wakes up from her death slumber and tampers with everything to try achieving true utopia, something that every other timeline was unable to. oss era goes mostly the same before Tale of Abandoment in a Moonlit Night, except for the fact that amostia is a fusion of maria's children that seth kidnapped. from oss era on, many events progressively deviate from canonverse

h&g are the only irregular pair from project ma that survives. a fantasy/reality pair, so to speak - gretel develops future sight, is unaffected by any sort of hypnosis and can later peek into alternate timelines for a brief time; hansel can induce hallucinations and delusions unto someone and permanently rewrite their memories.

as arte&pollo, they actively lead banica down the road of gluttony, kidnap carlos since he made banica happy even though they don't like him, and are violently intolerant to anybody who tries interferring with their plans. they're very manipulative and twisted, though mostly because they genuinely believe that they're doing the best for banica.

as ney, she becomes a triple agent for riliane once she breaks through her indoctrination, using her sight to advise riliane which would be the best action to ensure lucifenia's safety and victory.

as lemy, he becomes the fifth pierrot to keep rin chan safe. he very much hated her face change, and tore off the effects of the lust vessel from her face. he's still a good bean for most part. out of all irregulars, he had the happiest, most peaceful life.

WELL. riliane&allen are a day/night pair, their official irregular titles being dayqueen and nightking, respectively. A LOT OF THINGS HAPPEN IN PRIDE ARC, LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. it's here where things start to really change - for one, both vlad and marie are killed by riliane in different points of her life (banica isn't a demon in tbi), so she never loses her memories as shown in "sol invictus".

instead, allen is sent away due to the first awakening of his powers which greatly disturbed elluka (tbh elluka didn't like either twin from day 1; they always felt wrong to her). riliane studies all she can to become a good ruler when time comes. upon allen's return to the palace, the twins pretend not to know each other.

there is a lot of things as i said, but uhhhhhhhhh. the gist of it is that riliane becomes a conqueror, allen is hella gay for asan, asan is an important character since he's able to see past the first layer of reality (he can see the lucifen twins' eldritch forms without much harm to his psyche besides immense fear, for example), riliane's rule lasts much longer than in canon (she's 18 when the revolution happens), and allen kills an entire crowd when he's beheaded to stop riliane from destroying the country. yay

im not yet done outlining envy arc, but inukichi is asan's reincarnation due to allen taking asan's soul with himself and making them reincarnate together. also, ren is alive and amostia's reincarnation (well, kinda. ren's situation is pretty messy)

cain&abel are around, though trapped in anglomois since they were stillborn and unable to reincarnate. they consumed the souls of project ma's failed irregular children in an attempt to stabilize their souls and successfully reincarnate, thus gaining the bodies they don't have. kiril is fighting for his life every day as the kids can consume any soul, it's only that irregulars are more suitable to their goals but they will eat whatever stays in their way. also, they're the reason why eve's hypnosis-induced incarnations are sleepless

amostia is the irregular who came the closest to ascending before seth sealed him away. he floats in the void ever since, only receiving sporadic visits from luna, and constantly attempts projecting himself into people's dreams. by grath arc, he's visited by michelle who accidentally entered the void and eventually becomes her guardian angel/friend/lover. that is, until ma happens and michelle is erased from reality. it's only downhill from this point on, but [major spoilers that aren't even fully outlined lmao]

btw ma is an anomaly even amongst irregulars, and luna had to personally shove her into lukana's body before ma's very existence destroyed the universe (a note: she did it in a span of two seconds)

besides that, many arcs are fully or partially focused in minor characters such as rindo for lust arc, asan for pride arc, rin chan for sloth/pierrot arc, etc. i theorically could get into detail, but tbh this is already excessively long. so like,,,,,, yeah,,,,,, haha. oh god i hope i can continue writing this au soon

[thepiningpoet]

Mala Ipsa Nova:

You were a mere shadow but I desperately sought after the light that cast you. You were an unobtainable mirage, a multifaceted Fata Morgana; I burned as you distorted my reality. I hallucinated as you drugged me with your solicitousness and ardor. Your empty words, gin-soaked, whispering alluring voices in my head. What once sounded like the song of the nightingale rings now like tinnitus in my ear. You've robbed me of my creativity, my newly erected aplomb, my desire is stillborn, all things intimate to me you've set asunder and left me a frazzled, discarded skin of the person I once was. In disgust, my innocence abandoned me. An existence of endless toil and a necropolis of dreams, how could you think anything of me but as the perfect dindon de la farce?

This is me trying to write since the catalyst you kindled. This is me trying to resurrect my own voice from the ashes. You wanted to melt me into something decorational to hang temporarily around your neck in triumph, but from the kiln, I shall rise like a phoenix and devour all in my path. As a ravenous forest fire, I'll blaze through you like a shriveled birch thicket. Like a coppice ripe for the axe, I'll shave you down until not a living soul knows your name. With every mention in print, with every televised accolade, you'll remember mine, the name of that once crestfallen girl who could state on one hand how many kind words that had ever graced her.

Upon my last breath, I endeavor to leave a wake that will drown you, a tempest you can't overcome. The utterance of my name, my likeness in every place, my creations on every corner, on every brick and mortar, will inflame your soul as rubor on skin. I'll grace every medium like an animal marking its territory until I'm as omnipresent and inescapable as matter. And you...you, o' little man, have not yet known what it means to be insignificant, until that day when Themis comes to call at last. Your beauty fleeting, you'll raise your decaying, gilded head to find her burdensome scales crashing down upon you like all hell itself. When you discover yourself nowhere but in every black reflection and nearly finished Glencairn, you'll know that day has come. Brace yourself. You will witness it soon enough like the first light of dawn, staining the horizon a foreboding crimson. Through my ascendancy, my surroundings will become nothing but white light. And you...you, o' little man, will cease to exist and fade into the background, as though you never occurred at all.

- K.

#crappy #but_trying_again #headache

[bufffnaked]

Neurosyphilis

There is a wide range of neurological problems that tertiary syphilis leads to, including:2

Dementia (also called general paresis): People become forgetful and undergo personality changes.

Meningitis and encephalitis: Inflammation of the brain and the lining around the brain may occur.

Seizures: These are sudden, uncontrollable electrical disturbances in the brain.

Hallucinations: This is sensing things that are not real.

Tabes dorsalis (also called locomotor ataxia): This is a disease of a specific part of the spinal cord that makes it difficult for people to sense the ground with their feet. This leads to falling and the appearance of difficulty walking.

Ocular Syphilis

The syphilis bacterium can also invade the visual system and lead to:1

Eye pain and redness

Sensitivity to light

Blurry vision

Seeing floaters in the visual field

Otosyphilis

Syphilis can also invade the hearing system and lead to:1

Hearing loss

Ringing in the ears (also called tinnitus)

Dizziness and difficulty with balance

Cardiovascular Syphilis

Syphilis's effects on the heart include inflammation of the aorta, the major vessel leading away from the heart, dilation of the aorta, blockages in blood vessels of the heart, and inflammation of the heart itself.4 These problems can lead to heart attacks and problems with the heart valves.

Gummatous Syphilis

This form of syphilis is rare, and cases have mainly been reported in people with human immunodeficiency virus (HIV).5 Gummas are ulcers with irregular borders that can be very large.6 They can occur anywhere on the skin, bones, or internal organs. On internal organs, gummas can be mistaken for a different type of mass lesion like cancer.

Complications in Newborns

When a pregnant person has syphilis, there is a chance that the fetus will die in utero (be stillborn). Up to 40% of pregnancies in people with syphilis will end in stillbirth or the baby's death shortly after delivery.7

Infants born to pregnant people with untreated syphilis will often have:2

Low birth weight

Poor feeding

Seizures

Developmental delays

Death in early infancy

Second Leading Cause of Stillbirth

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), syphilis is the second leading cause of stillbirth.

[directdogman]

Do you have any random facts about the characters that otherwise wouldn't be known?

gingi's legal middle name is edgar (this is a lie) Randy is the only person in DT without a soul. it rejected his body at birth like a bad skin transplant. moved onto better things oliver has many tiny fezzes stacked under his original one. i don't know how many layers down it goes, but i reckon if he tried to reach his scalp by taking them off, one at a time, he'd get bored before reaching the last tiny fez inside all of the others Norm's sticky pad face never changes in reality. gingi is constantly hallucinating from chugging cough syrup on any given morning. karen died in 2022 and was subsequently switched with an identical body double that mingus had genetically engineered as karen is the only resident of Dialtown who knows the bank's security alarm code and thus, having her die forever would devastate the bank's customers eardrums, causing nobody to ever go there again, and devastating DT's economy. Mayor Mingus is actually constantly vibrating with anger, but it's so fast that gingi's eyes can't register it, making mingus appear still. Abel’s legal was changed to 'unabel' by mingus after failing to help her during chapter 3. He's tried to get this rectified but every time he sends the legal name change forms to Tango in an attempt to get it rectified, mingus devours the forms whole, while tango claps and chants "DO IT!!! DO IT!!! DO IT!!!" Tango can do a somersault and mingus has a rule about bringing up the word around him bc he's WAY too eager to show it off and last time he did it, he kicked his pc monitor onto the floor and mingus had to buy him a new one Randy was accidentally assigned 'stillborn' at birth and hasn't fully recovered from this since some of these are canon. you can decide for yourselves which you believe

[cordeliaflyte]

First of all, I don’t understand the big hate towards Jackie. Sucking at a survival scenario isn’t exactly the worst thing ever. So what if she’s insecure or a bit of an asshole? Who isn’t?

Anyway, there’s indeed a big possibility for them to eat Jackie. The opportunity literally presented itself because she’s frozen. Let’s see if Jackie ends up being cooked. That’s going to be a double whammy for Shauna considering she’s the butcher. Indirectly causing the death of her bff and then eating her? No wonder Shauna is so fucked. Well, considering everyone who survived resorted to hunting their own friends and eat them, eating an already dead Jackie will be considered the least problematic thing they did.

I think the creators of this show is purposely giving a slow burn on cannibalism though. But considering Jackie and Laura Lee are dead, the descent to savagery would be very much soon. Both of them were necessary to be killed off because both of them represent something that hinders them on the darker path. Jackie represents the society where they came from. Laura Lee represents goodness and light. Without them, it’s an easier path for savagery. Laura Lee, especially, kept Lottie in check and sane for the most part. Without her, Lottie lost her light per se so it was easier to embrace the darkness which she did.

I’m also curious who pit girl will turn out to be. Always thought it’s Lottie because of the built and hair but since she’s alive, it’s either her but she survived and they barbecued someone else or it’s completely someone else. Dunno. I considered the possibility that Lottie is already dead and the cult was revived by an avid follower of hers like Van but then I saw a post somewhere that the showrunners are casting an adult Lottie. If that’s true, it rules out the dead Lottie theory.

The supernatural aspect of the show is ambiguous so if Laura Lee shows up again, it can be considered that she’s not an actual ghost but more of being Lottie’s personal ghost/hallucination. The same way Jackie is to Shauna. After all, each of them have their own mental health issues. All of them have trauma. And even before the crash, Lottie was schizophrenic, Misty was sociopathic, Van had a drunk mother and Natalie had an abusive father who accidentally killed himself in front of her.

However, the supernatural will always be a possibility considering the hunter and Laura Lee showed up to Jackie when she died. Maybe their souls were trapped in the wilderness because of whatever strong negative entity lives there?

What’s fascinating about this show is that, the characters obviously have their own mental health issues so the supernatural could just be a manifestation of that. Or maybe it’s both?

As for Shauna’s baby, I don’t really think they ate that baby. As creepy and morbid as it sounds, there’s not much meat on a baby. Maybe it’s a stillborn? Or maybe the baby was used for some kind of ritual where they killed it? Or maybe that baby survived and Lottie raised it in her own culty ways? It would be fun if that baby grew up and then tries to assassinate Shauna.

I do think team Lottie was left behind though and the 4 survivors we see in the show just assumed they died in the wilderness. I also think there’s a division of clans in the wilderness. Perhaps Natalie along with Travis didn’t even partake on the cannibalism and she just converted the 3 women to switch sides. Misty for sure was team cannibal initially. I think Shauna and Taissa was also in team cannibal.

Literally same I would literally be Jackie. Like she doesn't actively do anything bad evil ever. She's just a bit useless and annoying but aren't we all. Shauna HAS to eat Jackie the inherent romanticism of cannibalism etc. And I hope we get to it soon I love cannibalism.

And what if Lottie IS pit girl but IS also alive because she's a teenage female Jesus who rose from the grave. I'm sticking to Laura Lee being in evangelical heaven because I love her I feel like the fact she went out on her own terms amounts to that? Like even if the evil forest ghost didn't set fire to the helicopter there would still be a very high chance of her dying and that was a risk she was aware of and was willing to accept.

I don't think a clear line between the supernatural and mental illness will ever be drawn that's just the spice of the show you know.

A stillbirth would be very boring so anticlimactic. Ritualistic murder is cool but leaving it behind because they can't bring themselves to kill it (even though it's much more cruel to do so) is even crueller. I think forest baby will kill Jeff because Shauna said if Jeff got her pregnant she'd raise the baby to kill him.

I think Taïssa would be against Lottie's team personally. Like if she joins I think it will be for Van's sake.

[disasterfandoms]

Fix It: Don't Go Where I can't follow, Chapter One

Summary: What if Full Metal never died, at the end of season 4?

A/N: This is easily the longest story me and @bravo-four-seal-team​ have ever written. This is chapter one of the doc that started it all: The Fix it. It contains many, many Original Characters, please go back and read the rest of the series before reading this one. PLEASE read the trigger warnings, this story is dark and twisty, and filled with a lot of pain and suffering.

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TW: suicidal ideation, suicidal attempt. sex, pregnancy, vomit, alcohol use, description of medical procedures, death, near-death, code blue, domestic violence, PTSD, depression, anxiety, graphic language, mental abuse, hallucinations, blood, panic attacks, mention of miscarriage, mention of past abuse, mention of past injury, mention of disabilities, stalking, kidnapping, mention of ventilators, mention of comas, mention of past abuse, mention of stillborns, mention of rape, rape, mentions of gags/bondage.

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“He’ll smell us before he hears us,” Clay joked, team, coming to a stop when they saw Lisa, Jason felt his heart stop, he couldn’t lose another brother.

“Before you go see him, the surgery went well, however, it's too early to tell if he's fit to operate again,” Lisa explained, the team looking at each other.

“But he’s alive,'' Trent asked, seeing the guys were trying to catch up “Yes, Metal is alive and recovering in the medical bay, '' she smiled.

The guys didn't let anyone stop them, “Move” “make a hole” “watch out” being called out as Bravo shoved their way through the hallways to the medical bay.

“You guys stink,” were the first words from Metal as he bookmarked his page, his peace shattered.

“You scared us, man,” Jason started.

“No feelings,” Metal warned, causing them all to laugh.

“Listen, man, thanks for what you did.” Clay began.

“Don’t, we’re trained to make a split-second decision, it was a clear choice.” Metal said.

Trent rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well I know two people who are gonna be pissed at you,” he stated. The team began to laugh, as they were well aware of who Trent was talking about.

“Coming!” Amelia called out to whoever knocked on the door. She had just finished putting Willow down for her morning nap and had started cleaning up the place from this morning’s playtime.

Hurrying to the door, she swung it open, seeing her friend Eric and almost smiling, until she realized he was in uniform and the look on his face.

“Eric… who?” She asked, her voice shaking. Her left hand going up to her locket, she still wears it after all these years and trying not to tear up, thinking the worst.

“It’s Full Metal, Amelia. He’s alive, but he’s been seriously injured,” Eric said softly, and quickly, opening his arms as the woman he’s talking to collapses into his arms, crying. He holds her for a few minutes before she calms down enough to talk to him.

Leading her into the living room, he sits her down and starts to go to the kitchen he’s been in quite a few times. One of the perks of his best friend being one of his operator’s wives is he knows his way around their kitchen well enough that in times like these it becomes a godsend. He started making tea for her, having begun to like it by the end of her pregnancy, and a cup of coffee for himself. He can’t hear his friend crying anymore, which he feels is a positive, and her daughter was still asleep, which seemed like the optimal timing for having a conversation like this.

Taking the mugs into the living room, he sits down beside Amelia, placing her cup of tea in front of her. She nodded in gratitude, taking the mug in her hands and blowing slightly, waiting for her friend and bearer of devastating news to get comfortable before she spoke.

“What happened, Eric?” Amelia asked finally, gathering the nerve to speak, to find out how her brother… no, can’t go there. He’s alive, all that matters.

“RPG blast. He shut the door to the building he was going to save Jason and Clay. Had a tension pneumothorax, Clay did a needle decompression in the field, they got him stabilized and he’s okay on the ship. His leg is shattered, though, and his chest, according to Jason, looked shredded. Too soon to tell if he’ll operate again,”

“Damn him and his heroics, almost got him killed. Anyone calls Ashley, yet?”

“Her CO let her know, told her to go home, look after what she needed to prepare for him coming stateside.”

“Fuck… she’s probably shut down, now.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, he’s alive, Trent’s alive. It’s all that matters.”

“Staff Sergeant Sawyer,” the Master Gunnery Sergeant called out  “A moment of your time?” Ashley looked over, getting up and following her CO “Sir?” she asked, entering the room and the door getting shut behind her “This is the on-base counselor,” her CO began “she will offer her services to get you through this hard time”

The marine blinked, frowning “Sir what-”

“Have a seat”

“Sir, all due respect, I have a team to prepare to go out, can you tell me what the hell is going on?”

“We received a call from Captain Lindell, of Devgru, that you are listed as next of kin for Scott Carter,” he stated, watching as the woman slowly sat down “I regret to inform you that he sustained injuries while saving teammates. He is alive, however, the injuries are serious, he took a blast from an RPG.”

Ashley nodded slowly “Uhm...his sister? Has she been told?”

“I’ve been informed that Commander Blackburn has broken the news to her.”

Ashley nodded, trying to think of what to say when her CO continued “You’ve been relieved of duty. You are required to contact the base and find out what you will need for his return to home soil.”  

“Um, thank you, sir,” Ashley said, leaving the room, her mind going to possible outcomes, she needed to check in with Amelia, how she was holding up, she grabbed her things, heading out to the car, she’d deal with whatever panic hit her later, right now she had to get home and figure out what needed to be done. By the time she got there, she was lost.

“What,” Metal muttered, feeling someone poke at him.

“Checking you're still alive,” Trent’s response came from beside him, “You know you are going to get hell from both of them when we get home,” he asks.

That got Metal to open his eyes and sigh, “I know.”

“Could’ve been a completely different call to them.” Trent said, “One that none of us wants to have to deliver,” he continues, looking at his friend, shaking his head, “Good news for you, until we are cleared to go home, we are doing a rotation every two hours, to make sure you are still alive,” he smirks, looking over as Jason came through the door, “my first shift it over, have fun with Jase.” he says getting up, and moving out the room, as Jason took Trent’s place.

“Don’t need a babysitter, '' Metal said, Jason, shrugged.

“Well, that's what happens when you play the hero, it gave us one hell of a scare, but Clay still owes a case of beer,” Bravo One smirked.

An hour and a break to check on the baby later, Amelia was back to cleaning her home, alone with her thoughts. Eric had to go back to base, arranging Scott’s transport home with Bravo. She couldn’t sit still even if she wanted to, not in her nature, and it helped clear her mind to make the place spotless for Trent coming home, even if it was early because they were down a man.

Her brother was down. God, she needed to call Ash.

First, though, she was calling her husband. She needed to lay eyes on him herself to see he was okay. Not that she didn’t trust Eric, the man knows more secrets about her than her husband at this point, but seeing him with her own eyes would make her heart stop beating out of her chest.

It took a few minutes, from grabbing Willow once she was awake, getting more tea, and grabbing something to feed her while they were talking, but she finally sat down in the dining room, waiting for Trent to answer her call.

“Hi.” Trent greeted, looking more tired than she'd seen him in a while. He looked dirty and sweaty, like he hadn’t showered yet, and was still in his uniform.

“Hey, Trent. Needed to see for myself that you were okay. Have you seen Scott? How is he?” Amelia asks, desperately wanting any information on her big brother.

“He’s okay, in a lot of pain. Was up and reading his book when we saw him after the OP. Stop staring like that, love, I’m alright,” Trent tried to reassure her, but he knew the point was moot.

“Sorry, I just… I, we were so close to losing both of you,” Amelia spoke, sounding like she was about to cry. She shook her head, trying to get the negative thoughts out of her head, and focused on Willow, who was having a blast with her yogurt puffs.

“Don’t apologize, Ames. Have you talked to Ashley?”

Amelia shook her head, stating, “No. I know her CO told her to go home, prep for him coming stateside. I haven’t heard from her, though. Think the only one she’ll want to talk to is Scotty.”

“Mam! Mamamama” Willow cooed, smacking the highchair table. Trent felt a surge of emotions hearing her, God he missed his baby girl.

“You want to see Dada? Yeah? Gimme a second, T, your daughter wants to see her Dadada, as she says now,” Amelia says, laughter filling the air, as she stood to lift Willow out of the highchair.

“I’d love to see my little sunshine… Hi Willow! Oh my goodness, you’re getting so big!” Trent talks excitedly, happy to see his little girl, but a little sad seeing how big she’s gotten since the last time he held her.

“You gonna say hi to Dada? Hmm? There ya go! We miss you, T.” Willow starts waving at the screen, smiling at her Dad makes silly faces at her to get her to laugh.

“I miss you both, too. Only a couple more days, they’re letting us off the ship early. Hate to cut this short, but I need a shower and then try to convince your brother to call Ashley,”

“Go. We love you, and we’ll see you in a few days. If you get a hold of her, have her come here instead of being at the house alone, okay?” “Yes ma’am, bye Amelia, bye Sunshine!” And with that, they waved goodbye and ended the call, going back to Willow’s daily routine of afternoon snuggles while getting milk, as Amelia sits down to watch a crime show while she’s being held down.

Hopefully, someone can get through to Ash.

"Hey kiddies" Ash whispered, kneeling to check the cats "Let's get you fed" she mumbled.

Moving through the house, it felt empty, she knew the job could be tough, it's why she never got into relationships, but she didn't expect to be in a relationship with Metal this long.

Quietly moving to the kitchen to get the food for the cats, looking around she swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

She began writing a shopping list, then moved through to the bedroom, stripping the sheets, carrying them to the washing basket, then getting fresh ones and sorting out the bed.

She had heard from the medical staff about the injuries, she needed to get the guest room prepared for herself.

She kept moving, but with each second, each minute that went by, the weight she was feeling got heavier. Leaning against the wall, she tried to calm her breathing, tears blurring her vision "Fuck" she muttered, running a hand over her face. Slowly sliding down the wall as the tears won.

Trent sighed, he had showered and changed, making his way to the medical bay, where Sonny was annoying Metal.

"Sonny, I need to speak Metal for a moment," he said, Sonny nodded, getting up and leaving "You need to call Ashley," he says.

Metal frowned, shaking his head "No, she doesn't need to know" he stated.

"Metal. Amelia got told by Blackburn, Ashley was informed by her CO, she's getting your place ready for your return" Trent explained "You need to call her, let her know you're okay" he sighs.

"I'll do it later" Metal muttered, he didn’t want to cause panic, he was fine, sure it could have ended badly, but he didn’t want Amelia or Ashley worrying.

"If you won't do it, I will. You can't just shut her out from this." Trent said, leaving as Clay came to take over from Sonny. Once in Bravo's quarters he opened the laptop and called Ashley when the call was answered he sighed "Oh kid," he muttered, it was always a shock seeing Ashley crying, or evidence of her crying "How are you holding up?"

"I uh...I don't know what to do Trent" his sister whispered, "..how is he?"

"He's banged up pretty bad, but all that matters is he's alive, he's coming home" Trent muttered, Brock looking over, watching his brother.

Ashley nodded slowly "I uh...I got to go shopping." She whispered

"Amelia says to go to ours, she doesn't want you alone right now"

Ashley nodded, wiping her eyes, taking a breath "Bye Trent" she whispered, and the call ended.

After receiving an email from Trent that he told Ashley to go to their home, and get the baby down for her second nap of the day, Amelia quickly got the guest bedroom ready for Ash and made sure she was prepared for the flurry of emotions that’s waiting for her when Ashley arrives.

She was just finishing making sure the fridge and pantries were stocked with stuff her sister-in-law would enjoy when she heard the alarm code being put in on the door. She went to the entryway, to find the marine, stumbling into the home, looking devastated and unsure of what to do.

“Oh, Ash… come here,” Amelia says, pulling the younger woman into a hug. She doesn’t usually see the young marine break down often, so it’s worrying to feel her tears soaking Amelia’s shirt.

They stand there for a few minutes before Amelia guides her over to the couch in the living room and has her sit down, while she goes and makes some tea for the both of them. When she comes back, Ash is still sitting right where Amelia left her, tears staining her face.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Ash? Here, tea.” Amelia sat the mug in front of her, before sitting beside her, watching her friend try to keep the rest of the tears at bay.

The Marine glanced up, from her hands, nodding her thanks, but she knew she wouldn’t drink, she couldn’t, she had tried eating before she left but felt sick, she hurt, she wanted it to stop. Taking a shaky breath she looked to her friend, her sister-in-law “We...um...we coulda lost him” she spoke quietly, she felt the tears running down her face again, she needed to stop crying, she needed to be strong for Amelia. She tugged nervously at her sleeves, realizing she never changed when she left base, she was still in the long-sleeved shirt she had and camo trousers.

Looking up at Amelia, shook her head and whispered “I can’t lose him Amelia...I just can’t” she mumbled, she needed to be in control, she had to be, it was Amelia’s brother, she knew that it would hurt her more. Yet here she was breaking her heart.

“Hey, look at me,” she ordered the young woman, waiting until she saw Ashley’s eyes before continuing, “We didn’t lose him, you didn’t lose him. He’s alive, and stable, and being annoyed in Medbay by your brother and their team as we speak. It’s okay to be scared, Ash, and it’s okay to cry,” She finished, putting her arm around Ashley’s back. She checked the baby monitor, making sure her daughter was okay, before focusing back on her sister.

Ashley sighed, wiping her eyes, she needed to get back in control, she hated when she wasn’t in control of her emotions “Do we know when they will be coming home?” she asks, clearing her throat a little. She was exhausted from crying “I uh...don’t even know what I’m supposed to do Ames” she admitted.

Amelia gently smiled at her before replying, “Trent said something about being home within a couple of days. Eric is arranging transport so Scott can come home with them, having an ambulance meet him at the airfield to St. Samuel’s, just where his leg isn’t fixed yet, and the collapsed lung causing him to have chest tubes… you did know what his injuries were, right? You’re doing what you can do until he’s home, Ash. You’re gonna keep me and Willow company, and then you’ll be there at the hospital with him.” Ashley listened, processing the words said to her, she wasn’t told exactly what the injuries were, but she was aware they were bad and meant she would need to be careful when Metal got home. “Told they were bad, didn’t know how bad” she whispers “Was told he could've died...You sure you need me hanging around here?” she asks, she didn’t want to get in the way of Amelia’s routine. “How is Willow doing?” she asked, she loved her niece, she was always happy to spend as much time as possible with her.

Amelia sighed, bracing herself for Ash’s possible reaction, “He took the brunt of an RPG blast, had a bad chest wound, think Eric told me it looked like he had been ripped to shreds. I know he had a collapsed lung, because he told me Clay did a needle decompression in the field, and his leg was shattered by the shockwave. He’s awake, and talking, Ash. They've got him, he’s gonna be fine,” Amelia paused, letting the words sink in for Ashley. Before she could continue, though, Willow’s cries sound out from the baby monitor.

“C’mon, you want to see your niece, right? Come on up with me, you can put your bag in the guest bedroom while you’re up there. And, by the way, Ash, you’re never a bother to me or Willow, okay? Always welcome here,” Amelia added, standing up before heading up to the pink-colored nursing, hosting an upset and bright-eyed baby girl in the crib. “Hello, little sunshine! Do you decide to wake up, hmm? See Auntie Ash coming to play? Let’s get you changed so Ashley can have her turn with the baby girl.” Amelia commented, picking the baby up and putting her on the changing table to change her diaper.

Ashley watched how Amelia was with Willow, it amazed her every time seeing the interaction between the two, silently leaning against the door frame watching, her mind wandering, she kept checking her phone for any type of contact but had nothing, she was still trying to wrap her head around the idea of the different injuries that Metal had suffered. She was worried about how he would be when he came back, she’s seen plenty of Marines from units suffer from injuries, many of them shut down, never to be heard from again. “You’re a good mom Amelia,” she says, once her mind is somewhat settled “Willow is lucky to have you and Trent as parents”

“Oh I don’t know about all that, we manage, don’t we Willa-loo? Hmm? There we go, baby sunshine all clean! Wanna go to Auntie Ashley, or you wanna nap on Momma?” Amelia asked Willow, who when picked up, instantly laid her head on her mom’s shoulder, relaxing in her embrace. Amelia looked at her baby and smiled, always nice to have some baby snuggles.

“Think she may still be a bit tired, but she’ll throw a fit if I lay her down now. C’mon, we can order some food for dinner and you can talk to me about those thoughts swirling around up there,” she told Ash, smiling when Ash almost looked annoyed that she read her face.

Following Ash back down to the living room, Amelia gingerly sat back down reclining a bit so Willow can stay in her comfortable position. “So, I’m guessing you haven’t heard from Scott, either, since you looked surprised at me listing his injuries. Just give him time, Ash. He’ll reach out sometime today, knowing him.”

“I’m worried Ames, he gets stuck in his head when he’s on the job” Ashley sighed, running a hand through her hair, she was thinking of every worst possible outcome “You know, he’s always been so dedicated to the job…but god when he is out of hospital he’s in for it, I get protecting your teammates, but...the no contact?” she huffed “I don’t think I've been this worried in years...last time I was like this was T’s injury” she muttered, leaning forward, hands going to her hair, she needed to stop.

Taking a few breaths, she laughed a little “You know, Scott was worried about the fact when he came back, I was going away again, my CO has signed off on 8 weeks leave to help care for him, I didn’t ask, my CO emailed me and told me to ‘make sure the elite are back to 100%’ it was supposed to be a simple deployment, that's what he told me” she huffs, smiling a little “Gonna get him a few books...a bored Scott for a few hours, easy to deal with, bored Scott that will be cranky for weeks? Don’t get me started” she tuts, watching her friend, with her daughter, the marine, unfortunately, would never understand how people could handle kids, she didn’t even know how Metal handled kids. “What's the plan then? Do we meet them at the landing strip or the hospital?”

“Have no idea. I know me and Willow are meeting Trent at the tarmac, we’re his way home,” Amelia paused, looking down at her little girl, making sure she fell back to sleep, her hand rubbing the infant’s back. She then smiled at Ash and continued, “We’ll probably stop, get T something to eat and then head to the hospital to see Scotty. Lots of books, lots of reality tv, and cuddling him if his injuries aren’t too severe when he goes home. Know you’re worried for him, but he’ll be okay, just gotta give him a second to get his shit together to call you. Probably scared you’re pissed at him.”

Amelia laughed slightly, before motioning to her friend she was taking the baby upstairs again so she could have her hands freed. Within a few minutes, Amelia returned baby-less and had sat back down on the couch, grabbing remotes in the process. She took a long look at her friend, worrying about her. She hadn’t changed out of her uniform, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were swollen as if she had cried a million tears before she got to her home.

“Let me grab you a set of more comfortable clothes. They may be a little big on you, but you shouldn’t have to stay in your uniform this whole time,” She offered, getting up to go to the laundry room. She came back with a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, one that she knows is Trent’s given the size of it, and handed them to the young woman on her couch.

Muttering a ‘thank you’ to Amelia as she took the clothes, she carefully held them in her lap, she didn’t want to move “I’m not...I’m not pissed at Scott, I just need to...know hear him, so I know he’s ok” she sighed, tugging at her sleeves again, she watched the other woman, as she moved to sit down “Ames, how are you holding up?” she asks.

She was so caught up in her head, her own emotions, she realized she never made sure Amelia was ok, or how she was handling things, she felt awful for that. Trent wasn’t here to support his wife emotionally, so she knew she needed to make sure her sister-in-law was ok. “Seriously Ames, how are you holding up?”

Amelia sat down on the couch, leaning her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands in front of her. She took a deep breath, and nodded, trying to keep the emotions suppressed, “I’m alright. I uh, had to call T after I talked to Eric, physically lay eyes on him to make sure he was alive before I relaxed. Never easy, for one of you guys to be out there, in danger, and then get hurt because of it. But, you’re alive, on my couch, my husband is in one piece, on a ship in the middle of nowhere, and my brother survived an explosion he probably shouldn’t have. Can’t complain, given the odds. That, uh,” she paused, collecting her emotions once again so they didn’t spill out, “that knock on the door, seeing Eric in uniform… worst feeling I’ve felt in two years, and I went through a 20 hour, unmedicated labor.” She chuckled at that, reaching up to rest her chin on her palm, her fingers covering her mouth. She shook her head, as if her mind was an etch-i-sketch, erasing the memories away.

“Gonna email T, see if we can get an update, maybe he can pester my brother into showing his face to you,” She suggested, before getting up from her position and going to the office, sitting down at the computer. She sent out a quick message, then went back to the living room, to her friend, and started asking about dinner plans before the baby woke up.

Ashley listened carefully, she could see that Amelia was trying to keep it together, so she reached over, pulling her into a hug. She never understood the fear that she felt when they went off somewhere for deployments, but now she did, it was something she never wanted to feel again. When her friend went to email Trent, she looked at her phone again, sighing, firing off another email of her own to Metal, asking him to respond so she knew he was ok.

“Hm?” Ashley said when Amelia asked about dinner plans “You eat, I'm not hungry” she says, but when she got hit with the look she always seemed to get, the one she titled ‘Nice Try, But you won't win’ look, she frowned, it wasn’t a secret that when something happened and emotions took over, Ashley would avoid eating, especially when it came to emotional issues about her family.

“Ames, don't gimme that look,” she sighed, eyes focusing back on her phone “this is killing me, like...even just replying to tell me to shut up or something, just so I know...I can’t focus on dinner…”

Amelia shook her head and sighed, she truly hoped this wasn’t the beginning of Ashley shutting down again, last time it took days for her to snap out of it. She wouldn’t eat, drink, or talk to anyone but her therapy horse. Dammit, Scott, just call her for fucks sake.

“He just needs time, Ash. You know how you are when you’re injured or hurt, Scott’s similar. He doesn’t like to talk, not until he’s processed what’s going on with him.” She took the younger woman’s hand, and squeezed it gently to reassure her, before standing up and saying, “Okay, well I’m ordering Chinese takeout, get some noodles for Willa-loo to try before T comes home and freaks out that she can eat solids. I’ll order your usual, and there’s wine in the fridge for once you’re okay enough to have a girl’s night in.”

Ashley nodded slowly, she hated the fact that she couldn’t do anything, she was used to being overseas, on a base, where she could shut down her thoughts and focus on the task at hand until she was on a plane home. This was killing her, she had a whole new unit to help train before a deployment, she hadn’t expected any of this, who would? “When did she start eating solids?” Ashley asked quietly, looking over to where Amelia had moved to, she left her purse at home “I’ll pay you back tomorrow when I go back and check the cats” she muttered.

That heavy feeling started to come back, she wasn’t sure if it was a headache trying to form or if it was from the fear she was feeling “Trent’s gonna break when he sees his Lil girl eating solids you know that?”

“You don’t need to pay me back, Ash. We’re family, and it’s $10 in food. Not a big deal. Started introducing them to her around six to seven months, slowly. It’s kicked off here in the last week or so, though. She’s obsessed with these yogurt drops, and I’m still most of the time giving her baby food and milk that’s in the freezer. He’s gonna lose his mind when he sees how much she’s grown since he last held her. Sorry, boring you with the in and outs of raising an infant. How’s Void? Apple? Rainey?” Amelia asked as she was sanitizing the high chair in preparation for dinner. She then tried to find the take-out menus, decided on a place, and ordered via a delivery app.

“It’s not boring,” Ashley hummed. “I enjoy hearing about how things are going with Willow...I'm pretty sure they know something is wrong '' she huffed, getting up “I’m gonna go get changed” she muttered, she needed out of her uniform “Is there anything you need me to do when I come back?” she asked, watching her friend move around and wipe down surfaces and get things ready.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes” Ashley mumbled.

“Uhh, not sure. Depends on whether Willow naps much longer, if so maybe just put the dishes away? She stays asleep for another half hour, which she usually does, I’ll be able to grab them. Shit! Gotta let Adonis out. Okay, yeah, the dishes while my boy is outside?” She asks, squatting down to the German Shepherd sitting at her feet, and giving him some love.

“C’mon, Donnie, let’s go out. Yeah? Are you ready? Let’s go!” Amelia talked excitedly to her four-legged friend, walking out into her backyard on the warm, May day.

“I’ll be back in a moment” Ashley smiled a little, watching her sister, she then moved to the guest bedroom, changing from her uniform, into the clothes Amelia had given her, then re-tied her hair up, before moving back down to the stairs, and to the kitchen, she could keep her mind busy this way. She hated knowing this is what Amelia felt whenever one of them came back injured, she owed her friend a few drinks the next time they went out together.

She got the dishes done for Amelia, though she wasn’t sure where everything went, looking at the time she sighed, she needed something strong to drink, but couldn’t because she knew Amelia would be on her ass about eating something if she did.

“C’mon, Donnie! Good boy! Such a good boy! Here, want a treat? Yeah? There you go! Hey, Ash. You at least look a little more at ease. You holding up okay?” Amelia asked as she put away the treats, Adonis happily disappearing to his crate for a nap. Before anyone could get a word in edgewise, though, a piercing cry came from upstairs.

Amelia shot Ash an apologetic smile, then quickly walked upstairs to tend to her baby. “Hi, Willa-loo! How.. are… you!” She said as she tickled the baby’s limbs, her legs kicking and Willow screamed in delight. She picked Willow up, checked to make sure she was clean, and walked downstairs, putting her in her bouncy chair to play while she finished cleaning up.

Amelia came back to the kitchen, finding Ash right where she left her. “So, where were we?” She asked.

The young Marine shook her head, smiling a little, she wouldn’t fool Amelia “You were asking how I was holding up, we both know the answer to that” she says, taking a breath to calm herself down “So...what else needs to be done?” she asks, watching her friend. She couldn’t help but keep glancing at her phone, so far she had received a message from her CO finalizing leave, but nothing else, she kept watching the time, counting each minute that went by, she hated it. But it was the one thing keeping her grounded. “So, what now?”

“Uh, well, you can go relax on the couch, play with your niece, and I’m going to be folding a bunch of onesies and socks and pants for the little munchkin in there. Then, I’m starting a load of adult laundry, and putting away baby clothes. By then the food should be here. Waiting on an email back from T that he’s gotten it through Scott’s thick skull that he needs to call you, but nothing yet.” Amelia updated her, then walked into the laundry room, beginning on the never-ending pile of clothes.

“I can chill and play with Willow” Ashley smiled, she would never turn downtime with her niece, she loved the kid, she smiled at the small child “Hey kiddo” she grins, glancing at her phone one last time, before putting it in her pocket. She needed her attention fully on Willow.

Trent was sitting talking with Clay and Brock, three of them finally able to eat, when the email came through from Amelia; sighing, he stood up. “Where are you going?” Brock asked once Trent stood up, his food half-eaten

“Gotta go knock some sense into Metal” Bravo Four muttered, leaving the room.

Walking through the ship to medical was a slow process, having to watch out for people, call out when it came to areas you needed to climb down or up, it was why they hated ship deployments. But when he got to the medical wing and to where Metal was laying, trying to focus on reading, while Ray wrote out a report in the chair next to him, Trent just came straight out with it “You need to call Amelia and Ashley” he said “Don’t start, Amelia emailed me, Ash is worried, she’s already stopped eating and drinking, she keeps messaging you.” he said to his friend.

Ray glancing between the two, he would leave, but right now it was best to remain where he was, Metal huffed, setting his book down “She’ll be fine.” he said “Least for the day I’ll call her tomorrow” he said, but Trent glared, snapping a photo and then sending it to Amelia “She only wants proof that you're alive, even message her to tell her to shut up, but you’ve blanked Amelia and Ashley. I get that you're in pain, that being laid up sucks. But shutting people out is not the answer to this. We all know our family, you don’t get a moment's peace, so I’ve sent that photo to Amelia, probably a bad idea, but they need to see you are in one piece” he said.

“Trent” Ray said calmly, looking between the two men “This conversation probably isn’t the best to have right now”

“Ray, I have my wife sending me messages that concern me, they are in the dark about this, we can’t tell them much, but for fucks sake, one message isn’t hard to send out,” Trent said, before turning and leaving, he needed to get some air.

Amelia was halfway through putting away the baby clothes when she heard the sound of her email app notifying her of a new message. Normally, she wouldn’t be too concerned, but video chats and emails were the only way she and Trent could keep in contact while he was overseas.

She quickly abandoned her task, picking up her phone and opening the email. He said very little, but the picture attached to it says a million words. Tears immediately spring to Amelia’s eyes when she sees Scotty, looking pissed off as ever, only his leg was in a cast, being held up in the bed to reduce swelling. Couldn’t see his chest much, there were too many bandages to see the real damage.

“Ash! Here, Trent sent a photo.” She said while skipping down the stairs, walking at a quick pace to get to her sister-in-law.

Ashley stood up from her spot, walking over frowning “What?” she asked, when Amelia showed her the picture Trent sent, she felt like everything came crashing to a halt as she took in what she was looking at, smiling a little at that fact the image showed Metal pissed off, clearly at Trent taking a picture, she sighed a little, relaxing knowing that he was, somewhat ok. It was unclear how bad his upper body was, but she was happy knowing that he was alive.

She pulled Amelia into a hug, letting out a breath “Thanks for showing me” she whispered, feeling some weight lift from her, she moved back from Amelia, looking to the other women “You ok?” she asked, trying to assess what Amelia was thinking.

Amelia swallowed thickly, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just miss my husband and my brother. Glad they’re both okay, but my god I wish they were home. Hi Willow!

You show auntie Ash your new skill? Huh? If she’s holding onto something, she can stand up now. Want to show her?”

Amelia bent down to her daughter, grabbing onto her hands to steady her. The little girl tried hard to stand up, doing so with some effort. After she was up, though, Willow was bouncing up and down on her legs, dancing to the song Amelia was humming.

Ashley smiled, watching as Willow stood with the support from Amelia “Oh wow, look at you” she grins, amazed at how fast she was learning and growing “Gosh, she has been growing so fast, you know the boys will be shocked when they get home, still remember you meeting me at the docks with her, she was so small, now look at her” she laughs, watching the little girl giggle and bounce around.

“She was… three months old, I think. Almost six months ago, the time has flown by. She loves her bouncing seat with the toys and the one that hangs in the kitchen doorway. Usually, put something in a tub for her to stick her feet in. Sooner or later she’ll be walking.” Amelia comments, continuing to support her little girl standing.

Eventually, Willow got tired of dancing and sat down, letting Amelia get up from her crouching position to go answer the door for food. She motioned for Ash to come get hers, putting it on the counter before picking up Willow mid-crawl to put her in her high chair.

“Scott still being stubborn or has he emailed you back yet?” Amelia asked, cutting up some lo mein noodles into bite-size pieces and putting them on Willow’s high chair table. The little girl pinched it repeatedly, liking the texture, eventually taking a bite and then spitting it out.

“Okay, noodles are a no-go, let’s get you some baby food then, hmm?” Amelia told her, walking over to the cabinet and reaching for a container of some variety of vegetable purée. Once she grabbed it in a spoon, she’s back to her seat, ready to give Ash half of her attention, the other half focused on feeding her daughter.

Ashley laughed slightly seeing Willow spit out the noodles, she hadn’t even opened her container of food, the smell of the food was already disagreeing with her “um, no I haven’t had any response yet, but I'm a little better thanks to that picture, just wish he’d give me some form of...y’know indication that he does remember he has me” she huffs, rubbing the back of her neck “Why don’ you let me feed Willow and you eat?” she suggests.

“You sure? You need to eat, Ash.” Amelia was unsure of letting her do it, not that she thinks Ashley would harm Willow in any way, but she knows she’s using it as a distraction to not eat, again. She sighs, handing Ashley the food and spoon, and says, “Fine. But, no alcohol until you eat. Don’t need you blackout drunk because you haven’t eaten all day. I’ll eat and then get prepped for our nightly routine upstairs.”

Ash grinned, taking the food and spoon and sitting down, quietly talking to Willow and feeding her, wiping the little girl's mouth when required, glancing at Amelia she shrugged “No drinking, understood” she muttered “That good Willow?” she smiles “Gonna grow up to be a strong lady like your momma, yeah you are” she muttered, once again wiping the little girl’s face.

She was aware that she was trying to avoid eating, but she just couldn’t “You had enough? Yeah?” she hums when her niece began to avoid eating anymore “Alright, Ames, think your daughter is finished eating”

“Are you done Willabug? Hmm? Let’s wipe you off and we’ll put you in your pack-and-play. Only have about an hour before it’s bath time. You okay to hold her for a second while I go get the playpen and bring it in here?” Amelia asked glancing at her friend before focusing on her baby, who’s happily kicking her feet against her hip. She grabbed some wipes and wiped off Willow’s hands and face, her daughter shaking her head, making it hard to properly clean her face but making Amelia laugh.

Ashley smiled watching the two carefully “I'm good to hold her, or I can get the playpen for you” she says, hearing her phone beep, indicating the power was low, letting out a huff “I forgot my charger” she muttered “Christ my heads all over the place, tell me what you need done Ames, and I’ll sort it out” she smiles.

She was panicking still, about not hearing anything, it was always something in the back of her mind that would come up, that it would be something to shut her out fully from, but she kept hoping that she would eventually hear. “Come on Ames, lemme help you out, tell me where you need me” she grins.

“Uh, just hold her for a second, I’ll grab it. After she’s satisfied with her toy selection, maybe just clean up in here? Sanitize her high chair, wash her spoon and anything we used, etc. I’m just gonna go upstairs and get ready for bathtime and make sure I have what I need near the rocking chair for her nightly feeding, aka me being stuck there for over an hour, and then I’ll take over.” Amelia explained, handing over her baby girl to her aunt, before going into the living room and grabbing the pen, setting it down in the kitchen and making sure there’s enough in there to keep her child occupied, and then hurried upstairs.

The marine held Willow, keeping the little girl close to her, wanting to protect her niece from the evils of the world. Walking around she smiled, humming quietly, looking at the pictures on the wall and bookshelves. Eyes scanning the faces that had been frozen in time. She carried Willow into the kitchen, looking for the wipes for the high chair, noting where things were so she could find them easier later on.

Ashley looked over when Amelia came downstairs after a while, she couldn’t tell you how long it had been, she lost track of time, but she smiled, letting a mask slip into place with ease.

“Hey, nightly video call with T is here in a few, want to join? Think he said his shift with your boyfriend is here in a little bit.” Amelia offered, seeing that her friend is still worried to death about Scott. She’s all set upstairs, emailing T that Ash still wasn’t eating and getting prepared for the night, and prompted an impromptu video call tonight, but she wouldn’t tell Ashley that.

“I should probably sleep” Ashley mumbled, “Or just go through the uh training plans...something, Scott won’t talk to me” she sighs, watching Amelia “Don’t give me that look” she tuts, seeing her friend give her a look she always received “Look, you and T have your calls, you guys don’t need me crashin’ ‘em” she smiles slightly, she finally concluded that she just needed to leave people alone until they were comfortable to talk to her. “When Scott is ready, he’ll talk to me” she shrugs, she carefully thought about a few things before saying “I’ll probably uh pop out for a run, help clear my head” she grins “it’ll help me, though um… if Scott speaks to you? Just make sure he’s okay.”

Amelia sighed, nodding, before speaking, “Okay, if you say so. Just be careful, okay? Actually, y’know what, why don’t you take Adonis with you? He could use a run before the night’s over. And don’t worry, he won’t slow you down, if anything he’ll force you to work harder.” Amelia suggested, worried her friend was just gonna up and disappear. At least with her taking Adonis, she’s forced to come back.

The marine laughed slightly “Course, I’ll take Adonis with me, should be a few hours, it’ll tire us both out, but it’ll be worth it” she said, watching as the german shepherd got excited, clearly aware he was going to go out “Alright, um, his leash, treats and bags?” she asks. She just needed out and away for a while.

“Wanna go for a run with Ash? Yeah? Good boy! Here, his leash, bags are clipped to it. Treats are in the jar near his crate. Try not to be too late, okay? Worry about you being out there after dark, even with the best guard dog around.” Amelia smiled, petting her fur baby before seeing them out the door.

After the two left, Amelia grabbed Willow and did their nightly bath routine, changed her into her sleeper, and walked back downstairs to get a bottle ready. She was warming up the bag of milk under the sink when her phone dinged, no doubt an email from Trent saying he’s ready whenever she is.

After getting the bottle prepped, she trekked back upstairs, putting the infant down in the crib for just a moment to grab her laptop. Coming back upstairs, she set it up on the table so she could see him and vice versa, then picked Willow up, sitting in the rocking chair, and nestled the baby girl into her arms, letting her start drinking from the bottle before she called Trent.

“Hi Trent, how are you feeling?” Amelia asked, finally being able to see him after the long… seven hours since she saw him last.

Okay, she might be a little insane.

“Fine, love. Bit sore. Sunshine behaving for you?” He asked, smiling as he sees his little girl get sleepier the more Amelia rocks her, God he missed his little family.

“Oh yeah, happy baby as always. Loves her auntie Ash, saw her eyes light up when Ash fed her. How’s our boy?”

Trent chuckled, “Pain in the ass, as usual. He’s asleep, still dead set on not calling Ashley, or you.”

“Course he is, you know how he gets. He’ll talk when he’s ready. Everyone else okay?” Amelia asked, a gentle smile gracing her lips.

They talked for about an hour, keeping the conversation light. Willow fell asleep in her arms, but she didn’t have the heart to move her until Trent signed off, saying he was too tired and was gonna fall asleep if he didn’t go back to his bunk. They said their goodbyes, Amelia put the baby in the crib, and go shower, washing the stress of the day off of her.

Then, it’s just a waiting game for Ashley and Adonis.

[gooberjam]

thinking about the fact that my friend that worked on a farm shoveling stillborn lambs and such would just listen to shit like this on the way to and from work at either 5am or like 11 at night and hallucinate

[bonnaby]

paranoia and anxiety meet, and together they have two children.

HALLUCINATION and DELUSION.

and a stillborn. they named her MANIA.

[starkerfestivals]

StarkerFestivals Whumptober

Rules: Anyone can participate. Every content is accepted with no minimum.

Tagging this event: #SFWhumptober20 or @starkerfestivals

AO3 Collection: SFWhumptober

Helpful Links:

Main Post | SF Kinktober | SF Flufftober

Prompts

Fight | Curse | Mind control

Tear stained | Boiling water |Exhaustion

Grief | Miscarriage/stillborn | Self harm

Forced to hurt the other | Stab wound | Bad weather

Fire | Taking a bullet for the other person | Major surgery

Memory lost | Divorce | Lost and scared

Rape | Heartbreak | Visiting a grave

Nightmares | Broken glass | Regret

MCD | “What’s a fate worse than death?” | “If you leave me I’ll kill you”

Made to watch | Snakes | Domestic abuse

Body modification | Failed mission | Restraints

Lost a pet | Amputation | Spiders

Last words | Forced to kill the other | Scars

Can’t breathe | “I don’t wanna go” | Impaled palm

Cut tongue | Axed | Gore

Werewolves | Suicide attempt | Miscommunication

Unrequited love | Betrayal | Coma

Cheating | Numb | Lost a job

Insecurity | Aliens | Drugged

Rat torture | Bullied | Bleeding out

Break up | Asshole ex | Humiliation

Bite marks | Robbed at gunpoint | Forced to watch as the other dies

Drug use | Kidnapped | Vampires

Wendigo | Yelling | Broken bones

Iron Maiden | “Please don’t leave me” | Helplessness

Buried alive | Arrested | Anxiety attack

Branded | Tar and feather | "I'm sorry."

Alcohol use | Paper cut | Yandere

Hurt child | Stalker | Slave

Hallucination | Seeing an ex be happy with someone else | Cursed

Jealousy | Lost a child | Abandoned

If you have any questions, feel free to DM any of the mods or send an ask to this blog.

[thepiningpoet]

Mala Ipsa Nova:

You were a mere shadow but I desperately sought after the light that cast you. You were an unobtainable mirage, a multifaceted Fata Morgana; I burned as you distorted my reality. I hallucinated as you drugged me with your solicitousness and ardor. Your empty words, gin-soaked, whispering alluring voices in my head. What once sounded like the song of the nightingale rings now like tinnitus in my ear. You've robbed me of my creativity, my newly erected aplomb, my desire is stillborn, all things intimate to me you've set asunder and left me a frazzled, discarded skin of the person I once was. In disgust, my innocence abandoned me. An existence of endless toil and a necropolis of dreams, how could you think anything of me but as the perfect dindon de la farce?

This is me trying to write since the catalyst you kindled. This is me trying to resurrect my own voice from the ashes. You wanted to melt me into something decorational to hang temporarily around your neck in triumph, but from the kiln, I shall rise like a phoenix and devour all in my path. As a ravenous forest fire, I'll blaze through you like a shriveled birch thicket. Like a coppice ripe for the axe, I'll shave you down until not a living soul knows your name. With every mention in print, with every televised accolade, you'll remember mine, the name of that once crestfallen girl who could state on one hand how many kind words that had ever graced her.

Upon my last breath, I endeavor to leave a wake that will drown you, a tempest you can't overcome. The utterance of my name, my likeness in every place, my creations on every corner, on every brick and mortar, will inflame your soul as rubor on skin. I'll grace every medium like an animal marking its territory until I'm as omnipresent and inescapable as matter. And you...you, o' little man, have not yet known what it means to be insignificant, until that day when Themis comes to call at last. Your beauty fleeting, you'll raise your decaying, gilded head to find her burdensome scales crashing down upon you like all hell itself. When you discover yourself nowhere but in every black reflection and nearly finished Glencairn, you'll know that day has come. Brace yourself. You will witness it soon enough like the first light of dawn, staining the horizon a foreboding crimson. Through my ascendancy, my surroundings will become nothing but white light. And you...you, o' little man, will cease to exist and fade into the background, as though you never occurred at all.

- K.

#crappy #but_trying_again #headache